#normally it makes me cringe but like. it seems more exaggerating on PURPOSE than a genuine attempt at trying to be cooler than it is yk? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 4 years

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🙂 - ɟ

Hiii babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗 Here’s another post with the answers to the asks Mari sent me. Enjoy 🙃

Hi @sawwyouuinadream 👋🏼😄 I’ve already talked about how C exaggerated for the sake of the songs in my ‘💭- ɟ’ post (8th question) [click on the #f anon of this post to see all my others]. As for the rest, you need to understand the difference between our normal life and theirs, especially when they were in the group. You can’t compare your life and what you would do with your girlfriend in their place simply because they’re completely different things. Any parent of famous artists who gets the chance to spend time with their child when they can, seizes the opportunity. I saw it with 5H, I saw it and keep seeing it with Ari, I saw it in Taylor’s documentary, and many others. But not all artists have this luck.

5H were far from home, always around the world, without parents most of the time, and with fans who recognized them. Unlike the other parents who didn’t always have the opportunity to be with them because of work, the most present were Sinu, papa H (Jerry, Ally’s dad), and mama Dre (Andrea, Normani’s mom; as much as Sinu and continued as Sinu even after the hiatus). The only difference is that Camila suffers from depression and variants of OCD (diagnosed in 2015) and for these reasons, Sinu has always tried to be as present as possible. She only became a regular presence after C’s explosion in early September 2016. And, honestly? I don’t know where Camila would be without her mom. I don’t think she could have gotten through most of the things. I don’t think she would be in the industry anymore.

Now, I’d like to remind you of something else: we only see 5/10% of their lives. And that 5/10%, is ONLY what they want to show. You said that Sinu always accompanied C on dates? That’s not true. We saw Sinu with them a couple of times when they went shopping, once for dinner at Katsuya’s, and once at the beach in Australia. And these are literally only five times in what, four years that C was in 5H? Do you really think those were their only dates? Or that those can even be called dates and not just spending time with the mother-in-law? Come on. Try to look at it differently. Try to look at it from a broader perspective. Try to look at the big picture.

I send you a hug 🤗

No, dear Anon. Lauren was together with Camila. That whole conversation was based on Camila teasing Lauren. That episode was another confirmation for me regarding their first kiss. Lauren answering “Kind of” because Camila literally nearly passed out from nervousness is one of the things that amuses me the most.

Oh and, dear Anon? Bread Simplified, aka I don’t know what lips are, was just another one of her PRs. I don’t know how this is still something to doubt about. 75/80% of all Hollywood couples are fake, and as I said earlier, we only see 5/10% of what they want to show us about their lives. I’ve said this before and will write it again: “Any PR relationship involving Camren is simply this: fake, and for publicity and narrative purposes”. Real relationships, dear Anon, are not public ones. They’re the ones we don’t see.

I’m still a little bit confused about your ask actually if I have to be honest, dear Anon. I’ll answer based on what I understood.

None of the five of them are with Syco Music anymore because it has integrated with Sony Music Entertainment and therefore doesn’t exist anymore.

Only Camila and Lauren are with Syco Entertainment simply because only the two of them were asked to sign. Simon never cared about the group per se. He wanted Lauren and Camila from the start and he got them. He created an opportunity to prepare them for that world and for their eventual solo careers. How? By creating 5H. By creating three products (C, L, and 5H) at once that would make him money.

Because, dear Anon, as twisted as it sounds, it’s part of their publicity. I’ll explain myself better. Camren sells. From the beginning. A large part of the 5H fans became their fans BECAUSE of Camren. The labels still use them when needed. For labels, it’s okay to get people talking. It’s okay to get them to speculate, take their name out there, create buzz, create gossip, everything’s okay, EXCEPT confirming it. The important thing is the publicity. The important thing is to sell what they want to sell, and many times, they use Camren to do it. And it works. It works EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Plus, I think both C&L also had fun doing it to “keep the boat afloat”. More in the past than now tho.

I know about the rest of the pictures because it was said a while back by a guy who said he was yet another ‘insider’, dear Anon. This guy even published an email that was supposed to be from 2017 from TMZ to Roger in which they were supposed to have a meeting to discuss the extension of the agreement made not to publish the dossier. It’s actually old news, and it indeed seems strange to me that you’re only finding out now 🙃 Has anyone ever talked about it here on Tumblr?

But anyway. That he was an insider, I have my serious doubts. That the email picture was specially created, perhaps by him himself, I’m sure of it because it looks more fake than a plastic flower. That TMZ actually has a dossier on them, is very likely because this is another one of the many ways paparazzi agencies make money.

Dear Anon, I guess this ask of yours is due to your reading of my last post. If you’ve read it, then you have also read the sentence that I will now copy: “Everyone’s ready to point the finger when they don’t even know what is really going on behind the scenes”. You’re doing the same thing. You’re doing the same thing because all I see here is Roger did this and Roger did that, but you don’t know that. You don’t know why he did certain things. You don’t know why he didn’t do certain things. You don’t know why he handled some things in one way and some things in another. You know nothing, yet you’re pointing the finger.

I understand that you’re speaking based on what you see, believe me, I understand, but you’re judging without knowing. We know this PR is for Skittles, so what do you know if the deals made were exactly for Roger to promote him more? What do you know if the deals made were exactly for Roger to do or not do certain things? And more importantly, what do you know that Roger no longer has Camila’s best interests at heart? Just because of this show? Come on!

I’ll try to be clearer this time because I’ve noticed that many, like you, didn’t get the big picture of my last post. The labels decide everything. Camila can choose certain things, propose ideas, and be more liberally creative, but she doesn’t have the last word. If Camila comes up with the idea for a video she wants to make, but the labels don’t like it, then she can’t make that video. If Camila wants to perform a song in a certain way, but the labels don’t approve of a thing, then Camila has to change that thing in order to perform it. If the labels say no, then it’s no. Periodt.

Camila accepted the PR. COVID has changed things. She couldn’t expect such a thing. Hell, none of us could have expected a worldwide pandemic. But things turned out this way, and now she’s miserable. The choice she had initially made has backfired on her, and there’s nothing she can do to change that because it’s a legally binding contract. Neither she nor Roger, whom I remind you is also an attorney, can do anything about it.

I made this little scene for you. I hope that with this, you’ll see things a little more clearly.

*During the meeting*

“And that’s the idea” Roger says as Simon continues to look at the various set designs and documents by nodding

“So.. what do you think?” Camila asks anxiously and with a small hopeful smile

“I think we only need to change a couple of things, but for the rest, everything’s fine” Simon replies

“Really?” Camila asks excitedly

“Yes, really” Simon replies with a chuckle due to her enthusiasm “Good job, Camilla”

“Yay!” Camila cheers towards Roger. She’s too happy to care about the cringe due to the mispronunciation of her name. She’s used to hearing him call her that for years now.

“What are the changes you were referring to?” Roger asks him

“Oh, you know, this and this” Simon replies, turning the set designs towards them “It’s a little too…” “Gay?” Camila asks with a laugh, finishing his sentence

“We knew, but she wanted to try anyway” Roger says, indicating Camila with his palm “So, by changing those two things, we’re ready to go? We’re gonna shoot the video in a week”

“Yes, I approve. Everything’s all right” Simon says, handing the set designs back

“Thanks, Simon” Camila says, getting up together with Roger ready to leave the room

“Oh and, Camilla? Remember what we talked about” Simon tells her as soon as she gets to the door

“But-” “Remember what we agreed on” Simon says, interrupting her

With a sigh, Camila nods and turns to look at Roger who smiles at her sympathetically. With another sigh, this time of acceptance and determination, Camila positions herself behind Roger, who’s bending his knees to get down and is bringing his torso forward.

“Um.. what exactly are you two doing?” Simon asks, confused and curious at the same time

“When you tell me to jump, I ask you ‘how high?’, right?” Camila answers him as she climbs on Roger’s back

Simon nods with an even more puzzled expression.

“I’m helping her jump from higher” Roger explains to him

*the end*

This is just a silly example, but I hope it helped you understand the dynamics better. I also copied and pasted another piece of my previous post as a reminder: “If Roger does certain things that you may not like at first glance, before accusing him, please wait. Wait till you see why he’s doing what he’s doing, and then if you really don’t like it, then point the finger. But if you have to do it for no good reason, then don’t. You’d only going to look worse after. Same thing for Camila. They have a reason for doing what they do, so just wait before speaking and judging.”

Have a great day too, dear 😊

I don’t think you’re gonna like my analysis, dear Anon, but you asked for it, so here it is.

I’d like to start by saying that Thinkin’ Bout One is a half-demo. It’s not a completed song and it’s from ‘The Hurting. The Healing. The Loving.’ era, so even before the album title changed to ‘Camila’. I’m talking about the very beginning. When Havana wasn’t even remotely ready to be complete, or recorded if that’s why. When I Have Questions had just been recorded or was about to be recorded. I’m talking about the end of 2016.

The demo is pretty messed up because there is no intro, verses, pre-chorus, chorus, etc., like in a normal song. The quality and the way the demo is structured reminds me a lot of the GarageBand Camila times. To be honest, I think that’s how it was recorded. I think Camila created the demo on her own and then she abandoned it once she started recording other songs that would adapt and fit in the true direction of the album.

The reason I said I don’t think you’re gonna like my analysis is because this song, it’s not about Lauren. I have reason to think this song is for someone else, but without dwelling on that, I’ll explain why in my opinion it’s not about Lauren through my interpretation.

“Where you at

Come baby show me where you at

Finally got time off work

Tryina disappear off the map with ya

What’s love gotta do with it

This my vacation time

Bathin suits and tan line

Thirst��trap for your timeline”

Camila is asking this somebody where they are. Camila was still working with Lauren in 2016. She knew where Lauren was because she was with her, this somebody wasn’t. She’s asking them to meet and spend those days she had free together. She’s asking them to go together to a place where they could be off the radar. A place with a warm climate. And she’s not asking them to see it as a romantic getaway, but just as a vacation. Love was the last of her thoughts given what she was going through with Lauren that year.

“Num num num num num

Pass the henny not the rum

I go num num num num num

If I decide to give you sum

Talkin talkin talkin

All this time that we been rockin

Hey”

“Sip a lil this

Sip a little that

Now this ain’t nothin but a fact

I need you come and take control”

This vacation that Camila proposes also included alcohol and other activities, if you know what I mean. I’ll explain the slang she uses here to indicate those two very things.

In case you didn’t know, num is the slang for making out. Henny is the slang for Hennessy, which is a brand of cognac. It’s used a lot together with coke for a simple two-ingredient cocktail, and indeed, Camila specifies that she prefers henny over rum (rum and coke) in her simple two-ingredient cocktail. Sum is the slang for some. Now that you know, I believe you can put the pieces together and better understand the puns she used here.

And that’s all. There’s nothing about Lauren for me. There’s nothing deep about it. Just another distraction. And for me, for my timeline, this event happened during the 7/27 tour break. The break that lasted from July 6 to 26 before starting the North American part.

Hello to you too dear Anon 😄 No, I personally don’t think those scenes represent her experiences exactly as they happened. I think she and Dave (Meyers) represented her experience in a cinematic and straight way, but with symbols that represented Lauren.

For example, the fact that Dylan plays the piano is to represent an artist, aka music, aka Lauren. The flower on the back of his shirt in the kiss scene: Lauren. The book’s scene you mentioned? The scene is represented in winter with snow, yet in her memory, they’re both represented dressed in a light way, aka ‘In Miami, where winters are hot’ (Sangria Wine’s verse 2) [or even in L.A. since the winter climate is much more similar to the spring one]. They both like to read, so the book was a perfect clue. Alcohol and fights were represented in a much stronger way than I think they happened in reality because we all know that Lauren is not a violent person. The moon? There’s not even the need to explain it. Oh and, the fact that she’s holding hands with herself at the end of the video is also a representation of what we saw in the Havana music video. The “I do love you. But I love me more” that we saw there. With that scene at the end of the Consequences music video, Camila shows us that she has finally managed to love herself.

So dear Anon, to me, that video is just an artistic representation of how things went. And thanks. I hadn’t watched that video in a long time, but I went to re-watch it for you, so thank you, dear 🥰

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I’m done 😄 I hope I was helpful in this case too. As always, I’m available for those who have questions, so feel free to ask 😊 Thanks once again to you for asking me and Mari for making this exchange possible 😍

As usual, remember to be kind, to others and to yourself. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. I send you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗 I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️

___

This was awesome, thanks again F. BTW, the marks on the asks is a small detail I couldn’t erase but you can read them anyway, so sorry bout that.

#submission #f anon #anon #asks #answers #that small story with Simon

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gothighunicorntolerance · 4 years

Text

Save the Moment- chapter 7

TW: Alcohol, implied abuse, self-deprecation

AO3

“Hey, Janus?” Patton tapped them on the shoulder.

They looked up from their lunch at Patton, who was fiddling with the straps of his camera- something Janus noticed he did when he was nervous.

“So there’s the pep rally at the end of the day, and after that there’s like an after-party. I always go since I’m one of the cheerleaders, and I was wondering if you’d like to come?”

Janus was most definitely not one to go to parties, but on the other hand it would give them an excuse to get out of the house and be with Patton. They considered a moment before replying, “I’d love to. But- will anyone else I know be there?

“I don’t think so. Unless you know anyone on the sports teams or cheerleading? Remy Dormir or Emile Picani? They’ll be there. Virgil and Roman might come, but don’t count on it.”

Janus shook their head. “I know the names, but I don’t know who they are.”

“Emile is another cheerleader, and he’s dating Remy, who’s somehow on the football team. Remy is hosting,” Patton explained.

“So they’re a stereotypical high school movie but gay?”

“Yup.”

The two of them laughed at the comparison.

“So you’ll come?” Patton asked, still giggling.

“Of course. But um, could you drive me? I can cook and I can spell, but I can’t drive,” Janus laughed, incapable of restraining themself from making a gay joke.

“Of course. If anyone else comes we’ll all just carpool.”

“Designated driving dad?”

“I’m the only one at our table who can drive!”

The two of them roared with laughter.

“So I’ll meet you after school? Our normal spot?” Janus asked as the bell rang.

“Yup,” Patton answered, picking up his bag. “I’m parked in the same spot as always.”

Janus nodded. “I’ll meet you there. Can’t wait!”

***

It was an hour after the pep rally had ended, and Janus’s ears were still ringing from the noise. Of course, it wasn’t all bad, as he got to clap for Patton, who was somehow thrown into the air and caught without becoming traumatized or gaining trust issues. One of the many mysteries of the world was how cheerleaders were so fearless when they could quite possibly die or become seriously injured if they weren’t caught properly.

And Janus would be lying if they said they hadn’t gasped in fear for their boyfriend as they watched him get tossed into the air and do some flips.

“Patton, how are you not terrified when you’re doing that?” They had asked Patton as the two of them walked to Patton’s car. He just shrugged in response, blushing a bit.

When Patton pulled up to the street in front of Remy Dormir’s house, there were already several cars parked in a long row. Janus could hear music already blasting from inside the house.

Patton slipped his hand into Janus’s, and the two of them opened the front door. Janus cringed at the noise, but walked in nonetheless when they saw Patton’s small grin.

“Emile!” Patton shouted over the loud music. A boy with glasses and a Steven Universe shirt turned around to Patton and waved, walking over.

“Hi Emile! This is my partner, Janus,” Patton smiled. Janus could feel themself going pink when they heard Patton call them his partner. Why did that make them so happy?

“Hey Pat! Hi, Janus,” Emile stuck out a hand for Janus to shake, and they obliged. Apparently Emile was the only high schooler on the planet who still shook hands for introductions.

“Hi,” was all Janus said. Emile seemed very nice, but the loud noise was already giving Janus second thoughts about agreeing to come with Patton. Janus didn't recognize any of the songs that were being blasted out of a large speaker, and they couldn’t decide if that made the noise better or worse.

Janus found themself being guided by Patton to the kitchen, where Patton found a package of Oreos and grabbed it, smiling mischievously at Janus.

“The perfect crime. These are our cookies now!”

“Ah, yes.” Janus rubbed their hands together like a Disney villain and let out an exaggerated evil laugh. “Stealing a package of Oreos is a terrible offense.”

Patton grinned and walked over to a punch bowl full of red Kool-aid. He took a Solo Cup and filled it with the red drink while Janus watched, making themself comfortable on the counter and ripped open the package of cookies.

They handed one to Patton, who had already taken a large sip of Kool-aid.

“Thanks-“ Patton hiccuped.

Janus nodded, taking a handful of cookies. They were slightly stale, but did the job of taking their mind off of the noise.

Janus had, apparently, disassociated while Patton socialized, because the next thing they knew, Remy, the host, was sitting on the counter next to them and kissing Emile. Janus averted their gaze.

“Hey Janus-“ Patton hiccuped. “I looo-“ he hiccuped again. “I looove you!”

Janus turned to Patton, who had a goofy grin on his face and round glasses askew.

“Pat? What-“ Janus suddenly paled as they realized what had happened: there had been alcohol in Patton's drink. They took a deep breath and slid off the counter, cringing as they smelled the alcohol on Patton. This couldn’t be happening- Patton was going to start yelling- Patton was going to grab his arm-

They took a step back and closed their eyes for a minute.

“Patton, do you want some water? I’ll-“

“Earth! Fire! Air!” Patton shouted.

“Patton, what-“

“Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony, until the fire nation attacked!”

“Er, Patton? Can I call your mom?” Janus tried to stop Patton from drunkenly shouting the entire Avatar introduction monologue, and somehow it worked.

“Yeah! Let’s go find my mom!” He giggled. Patton’s words were slurred, though Janus had, unfortunately, had practice listening to a drunk person when they were hard to understand.

“Patton, I need your phone to call your mom. Where is it?”

Instead of answering, Patton wrapped his arms around Janus in a tight hug.

Janus stiffened, and even though they knew that it was only Patton, who would never hurt them, the stench of the drink was still overwhelming. Cautiously returning the hug, Janus fished Patton’s phone out of his back pocket- all their dabbling in sleight of hand had come in handy more times than they could count, and taking Patton’s phone was one of the easier things they had used the usual skill for.

Janus pressed Pattom’s tumb to the home screen, unlocking it. They scrolled through Patton’s contacts, searching for someone marked “Mom” or “Mother” or something along those lines. They finally found Patton’s mom’s number, and with shaky hands, Janus pressed the call button.

“Hello?” Patton’s mom answered after one ring.

“Mrs. Harte?”

“Janus, is that you? Are you alright?” Mrs. Harte’s tone was suddenly concerned.

“I’m okay, but, um, Patton and I are at a party-“

“The one at the Dormir house?”

“Yes, and, I think- I think the drink was spiked. And- Patton’s… drunk.”

Janus silently cursed. What if they got Patton in trouble for saying that? What if Patton’s mom never let Patton around Janus-

“Is he okay? I’ll come pick you both up. Go stand outside and give me the address. Stay on the phone, dear.”

Janus took a shaky breath and started to lead Patton outside, and, not at all to Janus’s surprise, it was like herding cats down a mountain while said cats were chasing balls of yarn in the complete opposite direction you wanted the cats to go. Namely, Patton wanted to stop and talk to every single person he knew, which seemed to be everyone.

It was only when Janus finally managed to drag Patton out of the hot and suffocatingly loud party could they finally take a relaxed breath. Though that moment of relief faded when they saw Mrs. Harte’s car stopping in front of them.

Janus braced themself for yelling, or accusations, or being left to find their own way back to their house.

But instead, Mrs. Harte helped Patton into the car and told Janus to sit up front, all without raising her voice. Why wasn’t she angry? Why wasn’t she yelling? Or leaving Janus there? Why hadn’t she raised her hand?

Janus sat in the passenger’s seat, waiting for the inevitable.

“Janus?” Mrs. Harte looked at them. There it was- now Janus would have to listen to her yell.

“Thank you for letting me know. It’s not your fault, or Patton’s. I’m sure he didn’t drink underage on purpose, but a lot happens at teenagers' parties. But he’s fine, and you’re not in trouble. I’m glad you called me, Janus.”

Janus let out a breath of relief. Why was Patton’s mom so nice? They didn’t deserve it-

Patton spoke up from the back, interrupting their train of thought with a loud hiccup. “Mooom! Hiiii! Have you met Janus?” He grinned.

Janus and Mrs. Harte looked at each other and laughed.

‘Yes dear, I have,” Mrs. Harte replied. Turning to Janus, she asked, “Would it be alright if you stayed the night? It’s pretty late, and you look shaken.”

“Yes!” Janus blurted out. A night away from their father? And it was with Patton? Almost a dream come true!

***

Mrs. Harte helped Patton out of the car as he stumbled, still giggling at random times. As a rabbit steamed across the lawn, Patton laughed and tried to chase it into the neighbor’s yard. Janus couldn’t help but chuckle as his mom pulled him out of the neighbor’s lawn and into the house. Patton’s house was just as cozy as Janus remembered, albeit a little messier.

“Sorry about the mess, dear. The guest room is just down the hall to the left, with the bathroom next to it. Get yourself settled and I’ll get you some clothes to sleep in,” Mrs. Harte led Patton down said hallway, Janus following. They peeked into Patton’s room, and it was almost exactly how Janus imagined it would look- vintage polaroids hung on a string of fairy lights over a desk cluttered with yarn, a sweater draped over the chair. Patton’s bed was covered in a rainbow hand-knit blanket and held more pillows than Janus cared to count. Mrs. Harte was attempting to get Patto into said pile of pillows when he looked up and saw Janus standing there.

“Jaaanus! Hi!! Have you heard that I love you? I love you!” Patton slipped around his mom and hugged Janus. They seemed to be getting a lot of hugs recently. Patton rested his head on Janus’s shoulder, leaning into them.

Janus started at Patton’s mom, their face becoming redder as her smile grew wider.

“Patton, Janus is going to be here tomorrow, too,” she again started the long process of convincing Patton to go to sleep.

“Yeah, Pat. If you close your eyes, tomorrow will get here sooner, so you’ll see me again, okay?”

“Oh! Okay!” Patton stumbled past his mom and practically tripped face first into his bed. Patton’s mom took off his glasses and set them on the nightstand on top of a book.

“Alright, Janus. Let’s get you settled. I’ll pick up donuts in the morning, but my wife should be home by then. She works the night shift at the hospital today.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Janus said as she turned out the light in Patton’s room.

When Janus woke the next morning, they thought it had all been a dream until they saw the unfamiliar bed and realized they were wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt from a 2018 pride festival. Pushing the blanket off them and then tiptoeing as quietly as they could toward the kitchen, Janus only had one train of thought. What would their father say when they got home?

The thought was suddenly pushed from their mind when Janus saw Patton’s moms sitting at the kitchen table with a box of donuts.

They gestured for Janus to sit down and join them. Pushing a paper plate with a couple glazed donuts on it toward Janus, Mrs. Harte smiled and asked, “how did you sleep?”

“I- great, thank you. Is Patton still asleep?”

They both laughed, but Janus didn’t know what was so funny.

“He’s going to have a horrible headache when he wakes up. I remember the first time we-” “Oh! It was terrible-”

Patton’s moms laughed together, and Janus suddenly felt a pang of envy. Patton’s parents were so in love with each other, and they wondered for a minute why they couldn’t have that. Janus’s mother had left them and their father, who barely tolerated them as it was. But if he found out Janus was gay? He would completely disown them. Not that it would be horrible, as Janus couldn’t wait until they could move out. But until then? Coming out couldn't happen.

But Patton seemed to have been born out of the closet! He was so open about his sexuality and showed it at every opportunity.

“Oh! Janus! I forgot to ask, do you drink coffee, and would you like some?” The other Mrs Harte- Janus wasn’t quite sure how to differentiate between which lesbian they meant by their last names- asked, shaking Janus from their thoughts.

“Oh, yes please.” Patton’s mom brought over two mugs of hot coffee and milk, but Janus just picked up the mug placed in front of them, and without adding any milk or sugar, or even waiting for it to cool off a bit, took a sip.

Both Mrs. Hartes, seemingly impressed, suddenly looked down the hallway and called out, “look who decided to wake up!

“What’s up, sleepyhead?”

Patton came into the kitchen, his curly hair sticking up from every angle and glasses likely forgotten on his nightstand. He blinked rapidly, and groaned, “it’s too bright.”

Bleary-eyed, Patton pulled out a chair and sat down, only then realizing that Janus was next to him.

“Uh. Hi,” Patton hastily attempted to tame his bedhead. “I- sorry for… anything I did last night. I don’t remember anything that happened,” he shook his head.

“It’s fine.” Janus replied, leaving out the fact that the alcohol fought back memories they would much rather forget. “You were actually kind of funny.”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Mrs. Harte said. “But Janus, what time do you need to be home? Is noon alright?”

“Yeah, noon is fine. Thanks,” Janus replied, absolutely not looking forward to going back to their house.

Not seeming to notice Janus’s displeasure, somewhat glad she didn’t, Mrs Harte replied, “Great! Would you two like to watch a movie?”

“Yeah, just don’t have the volume too high. My head hurts..” Patton groaned.

***

When the movie was finished, Janus was reluctant to leave the couch where they had settled with Patton under a handmade blanket and his head resting on their shoulder. But all good things must come to an end, Janus thought as they climbed into the passenger seat of Mrs. Harte’s car. The other Mrs. Harte (Janus still wasn’t sure what to call them) was staying with Patton to make sure he was alright.

Janus didn’t talk much on the car ride, and, thankfully, Mrs. Harte didn’t push them to.

When she pulled up at Janus’s house, she must have seen how worried Janus looked.

“Janus, you can call me any time,” she said, taking out a sticky note and pen from the glove compartment. “Here’s my number, and don’t be afraid to call me if something happens.”

She handed them the note with a phone number written on it, which Janus slipped in the pocket of their now-clean usual clothes. The unspoken word of “outed” hung in the air.

“Thank you,” Janus said, getting out of the car.

Taking a deep bath, they prepared themself to walk through the door and see their father. When Janus walked in, they saw almost exactly what they expected. Their father stood in front of the fridge, beer in hand and scowling at them.

“Where have you been, boy!?” He shouted at Janus, not realizing how they cringed when he said “boy.” Janus wasn’t a boy, they were non binary! But they could never tell him that. The repercussions would be worse than intentional misgendering.

“I was at a party,” Janus said calmly, having rehearsed lines just in case something like this happened.

“All night! You were at a party the entire night!?”

“Yes, I was. I fell asleep at the house.”

There was just enough truth in the last line for him to believe it. Janus had simply changed “a” house to “the” house, and their father bought it. Those were the best kinds of lies- those with mostly truth, but a word or two changed just enough that everyone would believe it.

He furrowed his sweaty eyebrows and said, “fine. But I don’t want to see you again for the rest of the day. There’s a game on, and I don’t want to be disturbed.”

“Fine.” Janus had planned to do homework and take a walk, anyways.

“What did you say?”

“Yes, sir,” Janus plastered a fake smile on their face and walked to their bedroom.

#moceit #sanders sides #thomas sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic patton #save the moment au #sanders sides au #high school au #tss fic #sanders sides fic

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twiddlebirdlet · 4 years

Text

Inbox Collective Part I

Anonymous said: People are saying we should be happy because Chris looks happy. Looking happy and actually being happy are two different things. Yeah, he’s smiling in those pics but IS he happy? That’s the most important question. He said once before he’s a terrible liar and while I do believe he may have tells, he’s a talented actor, which means he I’m sure he can fake it good enough when be needs to. This is the same man who hid his face while out his fam at Disney now he’s facing the camera? 💁🏾‍♀️ LOL

Anonymous said: I hope whatever Chris is getting out of this arrangement is worth it because he looks like a joke now

Anonymous said: Here’s the thing, I wouldn’t actually mind if they were real. I’d support it and think it’s cute. But everything they’re doing looks fake and staged to the max. You never know, they could be Ben/Ana or Shawn/Camila 2.0 where it seemed fake, but turned out to be real, or Tom Hiddleston/Taylor Swift where it was clearly PR. Only time will tell. However, I do think it’s ironic that Tom/Taylor happened around the time Tom was nominated for a Globe, and won. Chris’ team def wants that Emmy nod.

Anonymous said: JS said in Vulture that he is extremely a private person and here he is doing poses for the paps in the middle of a pandemic lol. I thought MK was the girl who will call paps on them I guess here is Lily lol.

Anonymous said: Niall Horan said if you dont want to be papped you will not be papped. This photo reeks PR stunt. Taylor and Tom already did this back then when he is about to be nominated in emmys 🤣 I guess this one is way worse than Minka.

Anonymous said: you saw video 🤣 !! Backgrid said it was yesterday July 7, not today 😂🤣 DailyM they you left so bad as always 🤣 and they killed your article love in the park with the video 🤣🤣😂

Anonymous said: Srsly. They shouldve brought in the professionals to handle this. Did a table read. "Block the shot (set up up their positions, actions, etc)" at the hotel. Fincher, DuVernay, Joon-hoo. Or maybe Apatow since this and his life is a "big dumb comedy." His words. 😉

Anonymous said: For his next pap walk, I would suggest him making some training and some chemistry test before. Just the looks of him and the actress can sell the stuff for the public (who will not give a second thought after seeing that) but the older stans that will follow him through the years, will see through it quickly.

Anonymous said: Never thought we would reach another low level after JS.

Anonymous said: The fucker always walks like that when he knows he’s being watched. I can’t deal hahahah SO PR 🤣😂

Anonymous said: I could've lived without the video. It was bizarre. The ice cream eating was aggressive lol😂. Idc what anyone says they aren't comfortable around each other. She actively swung out of the way to avoid touching him while walking. They should've built up reporrt before public outings. But I guess Chris' time is limited like they bought his time along with the daily mail package. I feel like this is going to be very t swift hiddleston. He won't ever live it down and when asked insist it was real.

Anonymous said: I wonder how hard they’ll try to sell this crap in the coming weeks/months when it’s obvious that they’re trying so hard right now that they’re massively failing lol

Anonymous said: I kinda got a feeling after Saturdays pap stroll things fell through and after getting dragged for not wearing masks, and that this is damage control and he’s just not that into her. Especially with the watermelon thing paired with the weird body language. Like it seems so, odd.

Anonymous said: To the other anon questioning watermelon talking: Acting is actually quite ridiculous. If you saw hot things look on set, you would not be in awe. Everything is exaggerated and fake. It all comes together in editing. Most of the big actors I’ve seen on set often look quite silly in the moment.

Anonymous said: Biiiitch can you imagine? Lily: *licks ice cream* Hey Chris, watermelon. Chris: *licks ice cream* Haha, watermelon. Anyway all this just truly gets me thinking about if he does one day end up with a girlfriend and keeps it on the down low, is he willing to continue these types of publicity stunts. He has said in interviews that he wants to settle down and have kids but I think if that was something he truly wanted he could find it. I don’t think he’s ready to give up the Hollywood game just yet

Anonymous said: to the anon who said they would find chris and lily saying random words silly- they could be talking about how stupid the fans who buy this are and how many "cute couple"s and" they're adorable together"s they're gonna get after this cringe fest. or maybe she told him how she'd staged this to get rid of the "lily james snorting powder in a park" images that come up first on google search and she's happy he agreed 😏 for whatever reason none of us knows (yet)

Anonymous said: So they not even have a real conversation? Whoa 😲 this show getting worse every minute

Anonymous said: (Diff anon, I’ll use 🔅 as my marker for when I send in) As an actress upcoming in the industry watermelon talking is probs the first thing you learn in scene work if you’re a backdrop/extra/filler. This looks extremely staged and I’ve had training for dealing with paps/how to look and act when paps are around. Also notice how they’re “faced out”. If you’re an actor you know how to face your body outwards towards “the crowd” to get a good shot. They’re sitting to get perfectly photographed.

Anonymous said: I'm pretty sure I read on here or maybe elsewhere "We're not going to find out who his future girlfriend is based on who he follows on Twitter." Well technically I guess that's true :D Also we were dismissive of any chance of him and that athlete because she lives in Canada, and yet he was willing to go to the UK.

Anonymous said: They look like two people who are trying to ACT like they don’t want to be noticed and be all nonchalant but in fact they know the whole purpose of being there is to be noticed. It’s an act, pure and simple.

Anonymous said: The way they are eating their ice cream in saying one word between two licks is so weird! One strick tongue, one word, one strick tongue, one word. First time i see people eat like that. In a normal universe you talk and time to time you eat. You make break between. And are eating them so quickly. And Chris doesn't see to be the kind of man who lay down the grass like that. They are a big joke.

hagarsays said: But also we don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes maybe there is something going on between them we don’t know but saying this whole thing is stage well maybe it is but also what happen if they are dating and they are making it official now I’m not trying to start a fight or anything this is just what o think

Anonymous said: I'm feeling second hand embarrassment from all of this. Even if it seems it's working for his mentions on twitter.

Anonymous said: Me on Monday: Chris, where is 😷; me on wedneday afternoon: Chris, what 😯🤔🙄; me on wednesday night: oh, Chris 😂🤣🙈🤦‍♀️

Anonymous said: Maybe this whole things is the "work" he traveled across the ocean for…

Anonymous said: This is hiddleswift 2.0 😂

Anonymous said: Two PROFESSIONAL actors can’t fake one date. He really think he will be nominated for Emmy? Go back to Concord Youth theatre and learn some lessons how to look like you on a real date.

Anonymous said: For me what sold this as a PR move (no matter whether they get romantically involved with each other for real or not) is not just the fact of the timely pics and vid from BackGrid but usually when celebrities are "unknowingly"/ "unexpectedly" papped almost immediately you find fan pics of their sightings all over the place. But that's not on their case.

Anonymous said: I’m imagining a Ben and Ana situation where we get pap pics of Chris and Lily in Boston and Chris’s niece and nephews are running around with a Lily James cutout 🤣

Anonymous said: celebrities as big as chris and lily have incredibly talented teams... youre telling me BOTH TEAMS were unable to properly hide them from the paparazzi??? nah, they definitely wanted to be seen.

Anonymous said: That video has my DYING😂😂😂 y’all are actors do better😂😂

Anonymous said: At first I was mad at Chris for this shit he made, but after that video I can’t wait for more. THIS IS THE BEST COMEDY SHOW. Chris please don’t stop, give us more material to lost respect for you.

Anonymous said: Something that I always found attractive on Chris is the fact that although he played the PR game, it was subtle and he never looked thirsty. For me, the paps pics used to be a happy occasion to see him. Now he looks... thirsty? Still not on the same level of other celebs but it seems he took the first steps to reach that low. I have nothing to say about Lilly. That is her thing, she is just doing more of the same. And she is definitily not alone on this.

Anonymous said: He might hate having to do this, but he's choosing to, and not even bothering to *try* to look into her. That video made it glaringly clear that it's all pr

Anonymous said: I feel like you don’t want him and lily James to date Idk why

Anonymous said: I’m so sorry but this is not a real relationship. That video and these park pics really did it for me. I can’t stop laughing at this spectacle I feel like this is more Megan for damage control

Anonymous said: that video makes it look so staged even the way they are sitting. Wonder what will be next?

Anonymous said: I think these pics were taken on Saturday the day after. It has been wet in London (good ole British summer) and they would not be sitting on wet grass. Does scream PR. Chris will have to be returning soon to US for his ASP launch unless he zooms from London. Sill can’t believe he would fly over for a hook up it has to be work related as will.

Anonymous said: What’s going to happen if they come out and say they been dating you still not going to believe them you will still think it’s PR

Anonymous said: Also if they wanted this whole thing to be PR they would have started a long time go before DJ came out I really think they are dating like we can never know what happens behind close time

Anonymous said: I don’t even know which parts of that video more funny. That awkward ice cream licking while paps shouting or that awkward walk like two strangers. And some people really think these two are real life prince and princess love story.

Anonymous said: I feel like we are all jumping to conclusions with this whole lily and Chris situation but MAYBE JUST MAYBE they are really dating

Anonymous said: I feel embarrassed for them in these photos. No offense I don’t mean to come off rude. But this is so staged. I thought maybe this was real but a video I’m sorry there was a purpose for this

Anonymous said: There nothing wrong with the video the paparazzi is being so nosey you acting like they are staring at the camera but they are not they are just talking

Anonymous said: They look more interested in their ice creams than each other 🤣. Why didn't Jenny get this treatment? At least Minka got a few pap walks.

Anonymous said: There nothing wrong with the video the paparazzi is being so nosey you acting like they are staring at the camera but they are not they are just talking

Anonymous said: Oh yeaaaah, they seem super natural and in love in that video 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Anonymous said: Is there any possibility that they are genuinely dating/having a fling but are using it for PR at the same time? Or are perhaps just fwb?

Anonymous said: I know this is a weird thought, but her clutching the hotel bag felt like her guilty conscience speaking. If she really had slept with him, she wouldn’t be so desperate to prove it. Maybe I’m wrong, though. He flew all that way, he might as well get something out of it, since he’s killing his reputation. I thought I actually heard a story about him laughing at the TS drama on the avengers set. Oh, how the tables have turned.

Anonymous said: Do you think there’s any possibility they’re just starting out dating or just friends with benefits maybe?

Anonymous said: Someone on Twitter said Lily begins filming something later this month? Hopefully this nonsense won't last for long. He's sort of flushing away his credibility and good will by pulling such stunts when so may people are going through such hardships and tragedy. It's so insensitive and out of touch. Especially if this is all for an Emmy nom. That award belongs to Mark Ruffalo anyway.

Anonymous said: I would pay all my money to see Scott’s reaction watching those pictures from the park. I think he’s second hand embarrassed for his brother. Or maybe Chris will get some lessons how yo look more natural on their next date.

Anonymous said: I agree with you. Celebs can't scream "my privacy", "leave me alone", or "ugh, LA" (as Chris said once in an interview) when they are doing this kind of thing. That are actors and actresses who never used this kind of tool or are rarely papped and manage to have a good career. But maybe those are the more talented, that get screenplays at their doors? Or the ones who truly give a sh*t about fame?

Anonymous said: So we've decided all this PR probably isn't for ASP, and maybe it's for the Emmys, even though it's a long shot he'll be nominated, and he definitely won't win. That's a hell of a lot of hassle to go through. And I still don't get why it was necessary to go to the UK for this when he could've been papped with an American actress. Is it just because it'll be easier to break up with her when the charade is over? Long-distance, conflicting schedules etc.

Anonymous said: First time of his pap walk career I see Chris watching paparazzi. Not one made unintentionally but a few! And in laughing! He never did it with Minka, he lowered his head or acted usually, same with Jenny and their airport pics, just the time to order a taco or get their bags back but now he watches the camera, exposed during maybe one hour?

Anonymous said: I heard that today it is raining in London! people who live there mentioned it !! So maybe these photos were not really from today

Anonymous said: There’s always been something I’ve disliked about Lily, I’m usually really into actresses but with her there’s just something that is off-putting, perhaps cold or clout chasing etc. Do you know what I mean? I can’t exactly put my finger on it but my guesses/feelings/thoughts about famous individuals and people in general usually turn out to be correct without fail.

Anonymous said: I’m a Trevor Noah fan! How do y’all know him and Minka are dating?👀

Anonymous said: Why I want to know is why Chris would do this with Lily of all people, she’s so not his type from what he’s said but he’s also said that that goes out the door when you meet someone. They don’t seem to have anything really in common other than acting? Do they have any shared likes, he’s known for being really politically involved and she doesn’t, he seems a big animal lover but she doesn’t. Anything else you’d like to add? 😂

Anonymous said: Someone needs to create an account like that Ana de armas update account on twitter soon if this keeps going the way it is...

Anonymous said: So I’ve got a really really good intuition/sixth sense it’s actually quite scary. I can usually guess correct on things that happen months before they actually do or pick up on people’s changes etc. I have an uneasy feeling about Chris and Lily together, something doesn’t seem natural or adding up to me.

Anonymous said: I find this whole thing just odd. I think celebrities are so used to being at the forefront of news outlets that with the virus and movements they are doing really desperate things for attention and it’s almost humorous.

Anonymous said: Is it just me or was lily distant like alway looking away , and towards the paps ?

Anonymous said: I guess it’s safe to say this sh**how is going to get worse before it gets better (and less fake?)

Anonymous said: You said : “As for ASP, I don’t think he gives a crap about that at this point.” That’s kind of sad, seeing that he put so much effort into it, maybe that’s we’re all this comes from.

hagarsays said: Wait Chris probably went to London after he did his pre-recorded stuff for variety,deadline and 92y

Anonymous said: If i was chris’ PR, i would def not want this PR stunt to be bc we’re pushing for an emmy nom. Thats just tasteless & not the mark of a “serious” actor like chris wants to be. He made a mistake ignoring the deadline interview (unretweeting) bc it is just one of the few big ways that could get ppl taking him seriously bc it was MATURE. Lowkey weird to be 39 & doing classless PR stunts w/ an actress who isnt down to settle like he seems to want

Anonymous said: US said same thing as dm. I do not confirm the relationship between them again! that leaves me a lot to think about 🤔

Anonymous said: I’m confused. You do think that yes they are a real couple or no they’re not and it’s just PR?

Anonymous said: Def agree with you about ASP. Now it seems like he didn’t even give a shit. Some would think someone who wants to be taken seriously with his political website he would stay lowkey and wouldnt pull a PR bullshit but here we are. I guess Emmy nom is more important. Also guys its not about fans its about general public. The more ppl talk about him the more getting a nod from Emmy. Cuz the award shows need audience and if the ppl they nominate has new ppl interested in them it means more watchers!

Anonymous said: What post did he like that mentioned him? Was this on Twitter? What did the post say? Very confused and speculative rn bc this seems so staged.

Anonymous said: I can't wait till the paps 'accidentally' catch them strolling around Concord 😂

Anonymous said: Is that a new necklace Chris has, the pendant looks bigger than the usual one or is it just me. Also noticed the gold watch 😳

Anonymous said: Reminds me of hiddleswift that relationship started when he was in talks to get a GG. If we get lovey dovey pics i will be on the PR train. plus she has work scheduled for the fall and he’s kind of a homebody and she insta allowed in the country. So I don’t think it will last

Anonymous said: I’m confused about why get a cab to the park. Also it’s friggin cold here ATM. And many showers. Why bother.

Anonymous said: Mood, I'm not sure if it was you that mentioned that some of his friends posted pics on SM attending parties for 4th july. Analyzing all this situation I think that Chris and at least some of his friends can be entitled and irresponsible. He was even more irresponsible.

Anonymous said: This is backfiring on Chris big time. Some of his stans might be kissing his ass, but other people are pissed. The photos made it to ONTD and people are shitting on Chris real hard. And talking about Lily snorting it up in the park the other day IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC. Those photos of Lily barely had any rotation and now people keep bringing them up. This is so stupid. Why would he do this now?

Anonymous said: Also, one last thing: I think this confirms that chris DEFINITELY has a type, and it has nothing to do with brunette hair, her own independence or a great ass. Instead, his type really does seem to be basic, emotionally needy and fame thirsty actress. Like, he's on chick #3 who seems desperately thirsty for media attention. It's a pattern ON HIS PART for sure. I don't think he really cares about privacy so much as he cares about being judged or seen in a negative way.

Anonymous said: all theses pics of Chris made me wonder why we never see any pap pics of him with his family I find a little strange cause they are very close

Anonymous said: It can't be just me that thinks that if the did indeed hook up this weekend or even before (where even is that theory coming from), then they'd at least look more comfortable around each other. Because you'd think the play would've been this park set up first and then the hotel stunt.

Anonymous said: Anyways, I wonder if Jenny is getting married soon? Because as soon as I saw the ice cream pics, my first thought was: oh, I see, so jenny's wedding must be coming up soon... like this is a kind of petty revenge on his part. He's just such a dumbass that he fucked it up by forgetting about the global pandemic. Doh! I may be crazy, but my intuition about stuff like that is very often on point.

Anonymous said: Idk why but i feel like maybe Michelle introduces them since lily and Michelle worked on downton Abby and Chris and Michelle worked on defending Jacobs maybe that’s how they meet or got introduced

Anonymous said: They went to the park so whenever you Google "Lily James Park" you get these pictures w/ Chris instead of the ones of her snorting whatever it was she was snorting the other day.

Anonymous said: Worse than that, wasn't the post actually criticizing/mocking him? So he reads. He's OBVI on board with this, so of course he's checking for or is being informed of it's reception in real-time. His "Old man yells at sky" spiel abt mod tech doesn't jibe w his deleting a couple of tone deaf tweets (months aft his mentions/comments were in shambles), getting "caught" liking/unliking at lightning speed, etc. He reads, he just responds subtly: Dodger content, blue hearts, got snippy in a kids video.

Anonymous said: It still sucks that he did this when people are literally dying due to Covid19. Surely, their meet cute could have waited till things were better? I was supposed to fly to London later this year but can't because I'm not a wealthy white men with an abundance of privilege. It's like they are rubbing their privilege in our noses. Even if this is real, it's a terrible way to begin things. Makes them both look careless and selfish.

Anonymous said: Why do you think Chris went on instagram Was it maybe to see what people thought out him and lily being together Or because he relieds he should of been wearing a mask , and wanting to see how people reacted to that

Anonymous said: What do you think is going on? I’m so confused as to whether they’re genuinely dating and whether they’ve been dating for a while or not, how they’re going to work the relationship- will she move or will he? Is it PR? She’s only been known lately for her Sky Mobile ads so publicity for her, and also the Backgrid stuff

Anonymous said: I think she called the paps at the hotel and now the morning after Chris is doing damage control with mask and ice cream. She is literally holding the hotel bag probably from the night before. To your point no way they would release his hotel

Anonymous said: Plus Lily has been papped multiple times since lockdown began. I don't she has ever been photographed in a mask. So this is a first for her. He obviously told her to wear one.

Anonymous said: I showed other people the pics, including someone NOT in the fandom, and they said it doesn’t look like a couple. It just looks like friends. None of the pics look “cozy”...he’s walking with his hands in his pockets and when his hands are out, they aren’t holding hands. They are just walking and talking like friends. And she looks directly in the camera again. She KNEW paps were there. It’s so staged it’s embarrassing 🤦‍♀️ Why would HE be okay with that? I thought he hated Minka doing that?

Anonymous said: dodger better be pissed about that shitty haircut. if chris was going to break quarantine anyway, what was it all for?

Anonymous said: The fact they went for a masked pap walk today totally shows they or their teams checked their mentions.

Anonymous said: Did they leave the park together in the taxi or just her?

Anonymous said: I guess that the mission was accomplished with the new pics. Anyone who dares to mention that there is still a pandem... STOP BEING JEALOUS!!!! CINAMOON ROLL IS JUST LIVING HIS LIFE! HE DESERVES IT!!! Wait, but he traveled from the country that has more cases... YOU ARE JEALOUS! HE NEVER DOES ANYTHING RIGHT FOR YOU BAD FANS THAT DON'T SUPPORT HIM! STOP! IT WILL HURT HIS FEELINGS!!!! LET ME CUDDLE MY CUTE 39 YEARS OLD BABY!!!!! But now on a serious note, I think I'm finally done with fandoms. Anonymous said: I’m confused about the timeline. The article says Wednesday but people who live in London say the weather is not consistent with the photos. It’s rainy and cold. Who rolls around in wet grass? But why lie about the day?

Anonymous said: Even if it’s not him checking what’s being said about him someone on his team is don’t be naive anon.

Anonymous said: She hasn’t been seen wearing one in public during the day until today...lol they knew to wear one

Anonymous said: Chris is wearing a bandana for dogs.... I was searching it up and yes it is for Dogs and it is the same pattern..... As a fan of taylor swift, this is basically the same with tom hiddlestone. A complete PR one lol. You can even clearly see it🤣🤣🤣

Anonymous said: Even if Chris wasn’t checking his mentions, his team definitely is. They are paid to do do. But he is checking 😉

Anonymous said: usa magazine said the same thing as daily M !! I do not confirm the relationship between them again! that leaves me a lot to think about?

Anonymous said: That fact that once again they are both looking into the camera has me rolling my eyes. You both are actors you are paid to NOT look into cameras🙄

Anonymous said: Times will tell if it's just a hook up or a serious relationship

Anonymous said: Wait did Megan courier that mask to him 😂

Anonymous said: i think chris needs to go home and have a serious think about his action maybe scott and mama evans can talk some sense into him

Anonymous said: it’s so strange that him and seb have this going on at the same time

Anonymous said: Damn. This all could have be done is such a cute and fairy tale way if they waited a little bit. But I guess overall people are liking and we are just a small piece of the internet. But in middle of a pandemic? Really gross for a "woke and political" bae. His privilege is showing.

Anonymous said: I’m sorry Minka dear for calling you the attention seeker who calls paps on you and Chris. I guess this one is the worse Lol.

Anonymous said: If this isn't for the Emmy nom, then I can't comprehend why he's doing this. Many people are saying "Oh, he's been seen too long without a public gf, he needed one." Okay, so why not find an actress in Boston, or NYC, or even L.A.? Do they have any managers or agents in common? This must be some kind of setup.

Anonymous said: What I really don’t get is why anyone is supposed to buy this stuff as real? Considering they live on different continents and in the long run, to paraphrase you a little, neither of them would likely to move. If anything, this doesn’t just look temporary, it looks tawdry and irresponsible. I have zero respect for either of them right now.

Anonymous said: did they leave the hotel only to have ice cream on park?

Anonymous said: There’s a picture of him holding her arm and one of her getting into the taxi. Looks like he followed her into it to me!

Anonymous said: both Chris and Scott have c*ke rumors about them and know he’s with a girl that has been rumored using drugs with a friends on a park what a great combo

Anonymous said: I always thought that fake relationships for PR are tacky, as using real relationships for PR is tacky (IMO). If this is fake, a hook up, or a real relationship in the beggining, being papped this way when he clearly knows how to avoid paps when he wants is tacky and cheap. And in the current moment that the world is, trash.

Anonymous said: The pictures are funny. The whole thing is funny

Anonymous said: This is giving me Bradley Cooper and Suki Waterhouse vibes. Down to the picnic in the park when they were reading Lolita. Also widely known as a PR setup to begin with and with similar star profiles (though Lily is more known than Suki was). At least someone on their staff picked up on the mask criticism. I agree it would be comical if we weren’t in the middle of a damn pandemic. But it very clearly had a distinct PR setup vibe.

Anonymous said: Do you guys noticed his watch? Completely different from what he normally wears. Actually, I think at his daily life, he doesn't wear watches.

Anonymous said: In other pics she’s looking directly at the camera

Anonymous said: I’m dying of cringe. People gave Ana de Armas so much shitty for being “thirsty”, bc you know, Chris is such a private person, but flashforward to July 2020 we have Evans eating ice cream and laying on the grass of a London park with Lily James during a pandemic. Hahahahaha. I honestly thought he could do better.

Anonymous said: It won’t even last lol, she is based in London. And this will end in a few months cuz of “hectic schedule and long distance” LOL.

Anonymous said: And if she was the ONE?

Anonymous said: I don’t know how he would manage a relationship where their in different counties and during a pandemic

Anonymous said: Remember the comments mentioning that there were no pics of Lilly entering the hotel and that maybe she stayed there just for being pictured? I wonder if the hotel bag was an answer for that? If the criticism about the masks were not unnoticed by them, to the point that for the first time she was pictured with a mask, I wonder if all this is answer for those comments and about her being treated as "dirty secret". Not damage control, but a way to control the narrative they want to sell.

Anonymous said: He’s not holding his chest while he laughs. So I don’t believe any of the pictures 😂

Anonymous said: Do u see this relationship lasting ?

Anonymous said: still from all these pictures they haven’t touched

Anonymous said: Is this on par behavior from Chris the last time he had a showmance with the other Lily?

Anonymous said: Something about this whole thing smells fishy. I just can’t put my figure on it. I have a deep feeling that this won’t last very long at all. Maybe even a month. For a new couple, they don’t seem affectionate at all. So weird honestly

Anonymous said: the one thing i can't wrap my head around is why now. I've heard rumors he has a website launch coming up? Maybe? Anybody? It really looks like he went abroad in the middle of a pandemic to see a girl. Sloppy management

Anonymous said: Being seen traveling just for fun during a pandemic shows not great judgement. Just a terrible idea to destroy any legitimacy or goodwill he had right before launching his already problematic and naive political website. Yikes.

Anonymous said: Maybe she watched DJ as Michelle is one of her friend and she sent message and that is the way all this mess started

Anonymous said: If they are dating good for them they make a cute couple but I think they way they have gone about it is not so great.

Anonymous said: I can’t even click the link you posted of the pictures cause that sneak pic I saw while I was scrolling... I cringed so hard 😬 I’m laughing honestly lol. idk if is the fact that he’s (they’re?) eating ice cream (and on a park? )or whatever, it looks so dumb to me lmao this is sending me 😂

Anonymous said: Do you think they’re actually dating then, Chris and Lily???

Anonymous said: Do you think it’s PR or real?

Anonymous said: lmfaooooo what a nice wholesome masked date in the park after being called out for no masks and looking tawdry

Anonymous said: surprise surprise the photos and the publisher are the same again

Anonymous said: Oh my goodness! Tell me he doesn’t pay attention to what’s being said about him. What a poseur. Ironically, the ET report started with celebrities like Tom Hanks stressing how important it is to stay home and wear masks. Chris is such an irresponsible jerk.

Anonymous said: 10+ pictures of them hanging for a while and none of them kissing??? Hmmm, sure Jan. They’re totally dating 🙄🙄

Anonymous said: Also, not to nitpick, but their body language doesn’t scream sex. They apparently slept together the first night, but it doesn’t show here. They should have reversed these pap walks.

Anonymous said: Chris never did that. it sure is PR

Anonymous said: This is looking more and more like the beginning stages of a relationship now. I can’t believe this is pr anymore. It seems to me like he flew to London to be with her and now they’re trying something new. I would hate for her to be the one he settles down with

Anonymous said: How do we know he’s trying to change his image, he seemed fine with how he was as far as it looked like from interviews. Have you read or heard something new about him out there?

______ said: What do you mean by'not friend zoned'? I don't get it.

Anonymous said: another blackgrid and DM exclusive. Why do this PR now?

Anonymous said: This is so staged lol.

Anonymous said: the mask in those new photos just proves he’s had one with him the entire time you wouldn’t get something like that in the uk

Anonymous said: this isn’t that deep. he was prolly there for something, has connections with her friend group, staged a walk, maybe hooked up. I would be surprised if they had been talking and dating for months. this was set up, him and Scott followed her at the same time. To your point zero pics of her inside and with her wandering around outside. Of course that was on purpose. she looks single and happy away from Matt and everyone is talking about Cpt. America & Cinderella. Just backfired and was too messy.

hagarsays said: So now that new pictures came out we can confirm they are dating now??

Anonymous said: anyone want to talk about his account previous username though joshpeck3030

Anonymous said: I’m not sure I buy him auditioning for her film. There’s a hierarchy in Hollywood. Bigger actors are usually offered roles first, and then the film is cast around them. He really hasn’t been the one up for a screen test in a long time. Like I said before, I work in this industry, and there’s a lot of ego. It is entirely possible, just highly unlikely.

Anonymous said: I wonder if we'll actually hear from Chris team closer to the weekend since it will have more impact for the weekend. Even if he was in on the pap walk it's nothing like Seb where both people actually look like they're together.

Anonymous said: What are carly & lisas instagrams? How do ppl know who follows who

Anonymous said: I think another thing to add is the JS said Chris likes to stay home and she would want to travel but he didn’t. He also said that he doesn’t like to travel in and interview. I don’t think that would change in the 2 years he’s been publicly single and 5 months in quarantine

Anonymous said: is it possible ce did some sort of screen test on like zoom or something for the paris trap before he came to the UK? idk about this whole thing. some people think because there are no pictures of lily in the hotel that she just came for the pictures then left after the paps left

Anonymous said: Makes me wonder if theres something wrong with hollywoods “most eligible” bachelors bc they’re single. If normal ppl can find love, they definitely can esp with how much exposure they get to love. Idk 🤒

Anonymous said: That Conversations at Home interview he did was dated 29th June. So he was definitely in the US last Monday.

Anonymous said: I know I'm going to get yelled at for this bc it's pap pics why does Chris look so angry in the last shots where Lily is on the other side of the gate/fence? He's also keeping alot of space from Lily at that point. Even in earlier pics he's not exactly walking next to her. I honestly don't think this was on Chris this time tbh.

Anonymous said: But what if the date was the work? If they’re setting up a long game PR relationship, maybe that’s why he went. If his next film is in London, he’ll be able to follow up with more daily mail stunts. Soon, he’ll have hey fever in the park with her friends.

Anonymous said: But logically if this wasn’t PR, which it is, this relationship would never work. The most i see is a causal summer hookup fling. She just got out of a 5 year relationship, l like JS and she lives across the pond. For someone the before the pandemic spent most of his time in MA I don’t see that changing. And lily is based in London and is an upcoming actress who, if she had to move to the states, would go to LA or NY. Not to mention mama Evans probably won’t like her “hay fever”

Anonymous said: some chris fans are so boring, we always talk about theories on fandom and it never hurt chris before. Sometimes this is entertainment, no one is hurting anyone, but there are some fans who pretend to be naive and love everything Chris does, but hate others like Jenny and Chris ex-girlfriends and are also the same fans who are chasing him on twitter like that episode in which they discovered the topics that chris follows

Anonymous said: Do you think he’s still in the UK or back in Boston?

Anonymous said: Also Lily doesn’t seem like his type whatsoever

_____ said: Also megan REALLY cleaned up chris’ image. She had to do the lord’s work of undoing every single time chris was papped pre marvel & i gotta commend her for that. What a gem, i hope she gets paid $3938383838293

Anonymous said: Two of the three people he followed were Bel Powley and Douglas Booth. He worked with Bel on Lobby Hero, and probably knows Douglas too as he is her boyfriend. Btw, where can you all see his location on IG? It doesn't appear for me at all.

Anonymous said: Do you think Chris is going to get the Emmy nom?

Anonymous said: Do you think there will be any more sightings of Chris and Lily together?

hagarsays said: I agree I truly think he really went there for work or some type of business cause I been his fans since 2016 and till now he only flys somewhere for family vacation or for businesses or movie or work he doesn’t seem the type of person to fly somewhere like London for a date cause that’s stupid THERE HAS TO BE A WORK REASON I can’t think of anything else besides work

Anonymous said: Who is this Gemma person that Chris follows? When was Chris with lily on Friday, I thought the club/taxi/hotel was Saturday?

Anonymous said: the last two were the girl who worked in Lobby hero and her boyfriend !! I already knew them !! And to add the location of Instagram is not so precise, I say it because I follow people and I see that their location is different on Instagram. another example, sebas is in USA but it was seen yesterday in Spain !!

Anonymous said: the last people he followed on instagram are British actors, maybe it’s a project to come

Anonymous said: Do you think Chris and Lily are dating?

Anonymous said: He follows her friends? That’s so weird to do after one date unless they’ve met before. I don’t feel like this is pr anymore

Anonymous said: it's funny, because Sebastian's account is based in the USA and he's in Spain, same with Chris Pratt! Something it’s not right

_____ said: Just going back to if chris is cheap/sleazy irl, i definitely think he used to be sleazy & the residual effect is left. On deuxmoi, ppl talk abt him going to taipei to hook up w ppl (while filming push) & he hooked up when he was in LA last month. (Not slut shaming) but just pointing to the fact that chris doesnt have the steve rogers personality most ppl think

Anonymous said: I can’t stand Lily’s friend Gemma. Don’t know why but there’s just something about her that grates on me.

hagarsays said: I will die of laughter if there a statement from either team saying they aren’t together but they where seen because they might start in a movie together that we don’t know about yet😂😂

Anonymous said: Does anyone from Chris's inner circle apart from Scott and Carly follow Lily on IG? That may be a good indication of whether this is real or PR/hookup or a relationship. Also, it's hard to believe that they started dating before lockdown like that anon claims given that they were on separate continents. Also, she wasn't even in the first batch of people he followed on IG. Wouldn't his gf be one of his first follows?

Anonymous said: I have a friend from England on Twitter and we've all been talking about this. She said the travel quarantine mandate for the US doesn't start until July 10. They have their own separate rules from the EU.

Anonymous said: Twitter is full of mentions of the new beautiful couple alert. People do romanticize everything that involves beautiful people. Even what seems tasteless PR/ booty call during a pandemic.

Anonymous said: I was looking at the pictures from Chris and Lily Collins date and at least they looked like that could be a date. I would be disappointed if Chris and Lily J announces they are dating after those embarrassing pictures trying to enter his hotel from different entrances. They clearly knew they were followed by paparazzi so they can’t denied they were busted. So tacky.

Anonymous said: What I'm trying to figure out is how they would try to play the long game. There are so far no films he would be involved in shooting in the UK. Unless he flies back and forth expeditiously, which once again bad idea, I think even publications would side eye it. The Blast, even though they seem like a fan blog, pointed out fans nonetheless found a discrepancy that this more than likely the first weekend they met. No way a physical relationship has taken place prior. I can't wait to see how they

Anonymous said: 2),because it's going to be flawed and totally dangerous to keep up. Possibly he could still be in the UK but not for long. I don't understand what they thought to accomplish. Unless there is a real relationship but there is too many plot points pointing to this either being new or fake. Like you said he can throw around as many big words as he likes it doesn't make up for the lack of common sense. I truly believe whatever happens next will be pulled out of his ass unless megan orchestrates it.

Anonymous said: I noticed how Chris keeps saying that he doesn't care about how he's perceived in recent interviews. I mean, it's obvious he does, right? He sits and checks his Twitter mentions for god's sake! Do we have any idea about whether he's back home yet?

Anonymous said: “press about skeavy side entrance hookups during a pandemic is quite an image overhaul for the two of them” Why are we still going with the side/back door story? New pics of him inside & she’s nowhere in sight. Maybe she was just standing at the side/back door while she was on the phone arranging her ride out of there or where she was going next, alone, & didn’t need to stand at the front since she wasn’t going inside?

Anonymous said: I hope lilly knows even after Chris is long gone that's all people are going to ask her about. She could win an award and one sentence would be about that the rest about how she dated/hooked up with captain america. If I wanted to be known for something I wouldn't be romantically linked to Chris lol. His captain america image follows him like herpes and attaches to anyone less famous he comes in contact with. Even Scarlett gets asked and she's just a friend.

Anonymous said: I feel like Chris is trying to go for a Clooney/Pitt/DiCaprio image. Sexy bachelor that every woman desires and is a serious actor. He has the superhero thing in common with Clooney😂

Anonymous said: Another question: did he intend his blatant disregard for human life to be showcased as well? Or was that just a fun bonus?

Anonymous said: I was actually wondering about image overhaul, but then why did he spend a year launches political site and trying to look respectable? He wants to play both sides? Also, doesn’t this make the intern hookup seem more plausible now? Poor judgment is his thing

Anonymous said: I wonder if this is his way of casting off the good guy Cap rep Marvel built him, and letting the world know he’s a real Boston douche. I actually remember that I didn’t like him pre-Cap. He used to strike me as annoying. I thought I was wrong about that, but, now….

Anonymous said: Something struck me with those new pics. I know we are making assumptions that maybe she didn't enter but if that was the case, why he was at the lobby of the hotel after entering it? It seems that he is trying to get permission for her, you know what I mean?

Anonymous said: Since as of now there isn’t anything about Chris and lily situation as of now can we move on and talks about anything until we get something new or important to talk about cause we haven’t gotten anything since yesterday😂

Anonymous said: (1/2) Idk what this is but the problem is the WORLD is in the middle of pandemic & he traveled to the UK to party into the night. The same wknd thousands of ppl flooded the streets of London because pubs reopened. If it's a PR stunt, I don't understand it at all because it makes him look privileged & out of touch. Especially w/ this club being an exclusive club for the rich 🙄. I'm just taken aback because he's been maintaining a mature image with ASP & social justice things lately. (2/2) He seemed to wear a mask at the BLM protest & then suddenly he's stunting in LDN in the middle of a pandemic? Right before his website is about to launch? What I do find interesting about the pics is they remind me of the Tom Hiddleston & Elizabeth Olsen pics in London from 2015. And idk how Chris & Lily could have had something this entire quarantine because there are pics of her w/ Matt Smith from May 15, so this would've been a very distant & fast relationship to suddenly have 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anonymous said: so they said was is single? in ET or did they just say same as the articles !!

Anonymous said: I just rewatched the Entertainment Tonight segment and it was mentioned that when Chris and Lily spotted the paps in the cab they decided that Chris would go in one entrance and Lily to a different entrance. It just said there were rumors of them being romantically involved. No mention about reaching out to their PR teams about this. So still don’t know what to think 🤔

Anonymous said: Is there a possibility that Chris knows his ASP endeavor was a waste of time and money and lost likely will be considered a failure? Therefor stepping out with a new woman as a distraction is the easiest way to make people forget (since he is one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelors).

_____ said: Is anyone else noticing a sudden influx of articles essentially flushing the daily fail and other articles out mentioning them? I’ve seen 6 so far. 😂

Anonymous said: Someone on deuxmoi say that her friend hookup with Chris when he was in LA recently

Anonymous said: Do you think the ET coverage makes it more likely that it’s PR?

hagarsays said: You think we will every get any confirmation or statement from Chris and lily rumor romance cause every media outlets are taking about it reaching out for comment like I’m surprised they didn’t say anything YET it makes me think they want to people what they want to think

Anonymous said: Why is she walking to the front glass doors in one photo and then walks around more to the back? But the photos of him released today he was inside the glass doors and she was no where seen. Was she already at the back door and when did she take her little stroll to the front and he wasn’t there.

Anonymous said: I wanted to ask after you made that comment about in the past Chris’ team would mention he is still single or dating around if seen with a woman. So my question is since nothing was said from his team could they really be together?

Anonymous said: Just curious, why do you say Chris was never serious about his relationship with Jenny? I wasn’t around then

Anonymous said: They obviously didn’t make out in the cab. That’s really hot and heavy for a hook up. 🙄 Neither showed much emotion or smiles or anticipation. They looked quite bored actually. You’d think they’d get out and laugh about the situation. He looks panicked. This is Chris right?

Anonymous said: What was the PR issued statement with subsequent Minka days (I remember the first one being “she did a number on his head...which should have been a red flag for MK). I don’t remember the other rounds, though

Anonymous said: BBC Series ‘The Pursuit Of Love starring her is set to film late July in Bristol. No male lead has been posted on IMBD. Wondering if that’s why he was in London and getting them papped would sell that story. Wondering if Chris would do a BBC series, also Emily Mortimer is directing and that looks to be her first directing project (what I can see on IMBD)

Anonymous said: Why would a couple who was together want to pretend to not be together knowing the paparazzi was there? Do they get paid for an exclusive scoop so they make an effort to not look official? If they are together why not look happy & go in together? Why the smoke and mirrors? Is this because he’s not committed yet? If he’s dating her he was really rude. Wouldn’t a cute picture be a better win? They could go with couple or friends even work spin. This looks shady esp knowing the cameras were there.

Anonymous said: I was just reading what you said about the Entertainment Tonight segment that if Chris and Lily being together was that he was “still single” or dating around from his team but since they didn’t say anything yet could it be tru they are really together? Just curious

Anonymous said: Are you still thinking this is a stunt

Anonymous said: This whole thing is getting rehashed over&over again&if no new pics come out it'll be just like the other Lily where when they talk about their relationships she will have once been linked to Captain American star Chris Evans. Its same thing with J.S. most gossip sites can't mention her without him&it'll bring up articles with her name when you search him. The funniest thing I've heard about it is that according to ET they went in separate doors cause they spotted the paps.

Anonymous said: Do you think they'll be anymore pics released from that night or is that all of them, also has anyone picked up on the new pics of him or are they not bothering.

Anonymous said: I agree that this was most likely a PR stunt from Lily’s team, but it’s not like she’s completely unknown. She’s def more known and well regarded in the industry than Minka and Jenny. I don’t think she’s necessarily “using his fame” since they both agreed to the stunt. If anything, it maybe benefits both of them for the time being. Lily is well off without Chris’ money and status imo.

Anonymous said: I have a bad chronical hay fever and I... don't put medicine in my nose that way???? Seriously. Do I do it wrong?🤔

Anonymous said: I’m not even sure US Weekly came from Megan. When she puts together something there is sources who are friends etc. Even with Lilly Collins. US weekly seemed to be more on her info than him. What do you think

Anonymous said: So she was photographed sniffing and nothing happened? This is a white privilege, black people are murdered for walking on the streets. is this what Chris wants for him? That kind of privilege?

Anonymous said: Besides him traveling during a pandemic, no masks and whatnot is wrong on so many levels and can’t be defended. Some who follow Chris I think this is so weird as he says one thing and totally does the opposite. He wants a family life and carve pumpkins yet does Pr with Lily who is in Primrose Hill group that all kinda posh and party. It’s just confusing but entertaining 😆

Anonymous said: If it is just PR, why didn’t he pick someone local? Was his entire business in London being papped? He could have taken a page out of Ana and Ben’s book, and been papped in LA. Hell, he could have even photobombed their pap walk with his or date and gotten free coverage.

Anonymous said: I think that maybe we should stop talking about the women he dates or is linked with and start thinking of what them show about him as a person. I'm still waiting to see one that is smart and talented and has her own career, or business, for her own merits. The type of woman that a confident straight man would be proud to have at his side, you know? Maybe those one run away from him?

Anonymous said: "Why does Chris seem to have such bad taste in women?" /// maybe it's because if he was with a good woman she'll call him on his bullshit unlike the circle of yes men/ women he probably prefers and he doesn't want that per say so he retreats to women who enable him and when he gets tired drops them to the side and let's his fans eat them alive, since he almighty can do no wrong in their eyes so whatever happens it must be the women who were never "good" in the first place

Anonymous said: This is like totally random and idk if I’m the only one who thinks about stuff like this lol, but do you ever think about what Chris’ mom and other family member think about this whole lily thing?

Anonymous said: Well non of his inner circle of friends follow her yet so that's something 😂

Anonymous said: Now an anon's friend's cousin's mailman's building maintenance's 3rd grade teacher KNOWS abt this "months-long romance?" Ok. IT DOESNT MATTER if real or pr, new or old --- if they're sooo familiar with each other: 1. Why not stay in his/their luxury hotel and "make out" so to not get 'visibly' caught by anons, and 2. Why not arrange for her visit/stay at the hotel BEFORE even coming to the UK, let alone while on the cab ride after CLEARLY being pap'd, if they've been "courting" so long???? Mess.

Anonymous said: I can't imagine this English rose in Chris Boston friends circle if they actually a thing. Jenny and Minka fitted there and It looked like they were friends with his buddies wife's/girlfriends. At least at those moments they dated Chris. Lily is too posh and to immature for Chris friends. But this is just my opinion.

Anonymous said: Do you think they’ll continue or will it be swept away like Lily Collins?

Anonymous said: I know it’s impossible to say at this point, but how long do you think a PR showmance like this will last? He’s obviously done it before but I wasn’t very active in the fandom then.

Anonymous said: “classy isn’t her signature pap stroll” 🤣 i love you 😘 😂 Chris really likes cheap girls.

Anonymous said: Does Chris just not care about his image? Why would he be okay with PR/pap pics that make it look like he was having some cheap prostitute sneaking in his hotel? This could have been done so much better without it making it look like either one of them is trash. Why does he wanna look like trash?

Anonymous said: LOL Last time I checked you don’t blow your nose not with a slender piece of paper that looks like you are snorting something. Keep it classy Chris Evans. Keeping it classy.

Anonymous said: Talking of not a good look, your jealousy is coming through as hatred. I think you need to back away from the fandom

Anonymous said: Maybe this is his new image. He’s put out stories twice now about dating around. Maybe implied promiscuity wasn’t enough. He wants us to really know he sleeps around and to get used to seeing him do it, perhaps? Or he genuinely likes her and she’s allowing him to reveal his inner sleaze bag?

Anonymous said: Huuum... Minka now looks classier than her. Lol

Anonymous said: Also to note both Chris and Sebastian are signed to CAA. Stan signed with them on late may and now is going yatching to Ibiza with a foreign women that curiously has the right passport to enter the country. Chris and James looking straight at the paps. Both couples photographed by Backgrid. 👀

Anonymous said: Sebastian was seen with a fan there picture on twitter and he not wearing a mask he been see 3 times with no mask in Ibiza and Chris was only see with no mask once in London😂😂😂

Anonymous said: If they do have some kind of relationship, this might actually work, since he’s shown here he’s willing to ridiculous pap stunts. He didn’t do those for Minka and Jenny.

Anonymous said: Well since people are busting their chops. I think there is 3 options going forward. They double down on their ignorance (if they do hopefully they adhere to safety standards next time), he let's it fade away with no further mention, or the unlikely option his team releases a statement apologizing for the lack of safety/denying or confirming their relationship. Either way nobody but us is taking particular interest anymore. It was a flop.

Anonymous said: If you guys though Chris was worse look at Sebastian he was just seen taking a picture with a fan and wearing no mask and him and his GF was seen with no mask and while Chris didn’t take pictures with fans and wasn’t seen with lily at all since Saturday

Anonymous said: So is the new image supposed to make him look like a jerk? I don’t buy the new image thing. We’ve seen him where it looks genuine being polite to women. This group of pics just looks strange; he looks not very impressed and she looks like she has a chip on her shoulder.

Anonymous said: He went from 4.5 to 4.6 million followers on insta and 120 tweet per day to 1120 per hour. People are taking and this stunt worked. And like you said not money shot of her IN the hotel. My money is on that she is still with Matt but her team is going to play it like he got jealous of her male attention and came crawling back.

Anonymous said: Also-he was so in and out of London. Like what in Thursday/Friday out Sunday...if you were seeing a girl...you are flying to London for more than 72 hours.

Anonymous said: Now an anon's friend's cousin's mailman's building maintenance's 3rd grade teacher KNOWS abt this "months-long romance?" Ok. IT DOESNT MATTER if real or pr, new or old --- if they're sooo familiar with each other: 1. Why not stay in his/their luxury hotel and "make out" so to not get 'visibly' caught by anons, and 2. Why not arrange for her visit/stay at the hotel BEFORE even coming to the UK, let alone while in the cab ride after CLEARLY being pap'd, if they've been "courting" so long???? Mess.

Anonymous said: A showrunner from a TV show I follow resumes filming today in London. She has been isolating there for the last two weeks and posting discussing her quarantine. It wasn’t required since she was there to film. She did it because she has common sense and cares about people’s health. It’s really not too much to ask of people.

Anonymous said: I don't know if really his like was real? I say this because What a coincidence he like tweet of black Raven? a very critical account about him !! If there are screenshots of Chris's Twitter account on his likes, I will believe it !!

Anonymous said: The new pics make it worse for me simply because it shows him inside, close to staff, with disregard for masks. As someone else said, just because it isn’t required there doesn’t make it better. He’s a news watching American. He knows what the guidelines are. Him looking at the camera and her possibly not going in just makes this whole stunt even more stupid. It was irresponsible. Period.

Anonymous said: My head are spinning from all the theories I read about those pictures. Are they dating, are they doing this for pr, maybe Chris didn't knew about paparazzi, maybe she's already moving with him to Boston... oh boy 🤕

Anonymous said: This whole thing makes no sense. He stands inside while lilly walks around outside. The like makes no sense, but that was an accident I assume. Which makes me believe he's going through his mentions and knows people are pissed about the masks. If this is bad pr they should stop while they're ahead. If they're dating good for them keep it to themselves cause people are already doubting this crap. This thing is unbelievable and ridiculous, you're right he's not as smart as he seems so probably 2) Anonymous said: had a significant role in this. Maybe he does believe he needs the pr. Also I wouldn't believe anything an anon source says is from someone close to them. If they want this bs official they'll leak it to us weekly or some other junkie outlet they're dating. I think they're testing the waters with this pr stunt to see how much they can milk attention. I'm disappointed in Chris for even thinking this is acceptable.

Anonymous said: Yikes. He's gotta be as dumb as a box of rocks if he knew about the paps and still thought her going in the back way was a good idea. He's really not that smart (I think people play up his intelligence a lot), but with how tightly he's kept his private life shut down since Jenny, I find this to be strange, to say the least.

Anonymous said: I don't know if really his like was real? I say this because what a coincidence he like tweet of black Raven? a very critical account about him !! If there are screenshots of Chris's Twitter account on his likes, I will believe it !!

Anonymous said: The fact that he’s looking at his mentions just confirms my feelings of If being fake🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said: For me his behaviour this weekend was way worse than homewrecking a marriage, which affected few people. I didn't come back to the fandom after JS with the same energy I had before. Maybe this is what I need to leave. I never thought he was perfect or incapable of doing mistakes. But there are too many information out there right now about the virus. This left me with a taste of arrogance from his part.

Anonymous said: So we have money shots of him in the hotel but not her 🤔 but DM is the UK TMZ they are sleazy. They would have not problem waiting around for her to go in and leave his hotel. She could have never gone in or she could been in there but why not release them. There’s so many signs of this being fake but believable to people that don’t follow Chris/Lily/PR.

Anonymous said: the fact that he deleted two tweets just after post is a signal that his not that happy with this situation

Anonymous said: I also think maybe it’s why this was her team vs Megan. Even like his articles have “sources” of they are just having fun blah blah. Not even DM or any of the US ones have his team surrounding it. They are recycling DM as the source and no reps have confirmed or commented on anything. I think he wanted a sloppy night and she documented it. And also why it was posted later so Megan could get a handle on it.

Anonymous said: now we have pics of him in the lobby of the hotel but none of her so she really entered in the back door or she didn't even entered on the hotel

Anonymous said: Why would PR want ppl to see Chris as sleazy? Also why would Chris want ppl to think he’s sleazy? If he knew paps were there & was okay with the whole back door thing, looking like some hookup that was caught or something. Why would he be okay with that? Even if that’s not what really happened, why would he be okay with being looked at like that?

Anonymous said: ASP today posted and immediately deleted posts from instagram and twitter. I wonder if he's already regret this dumb trip to see a girl. I wonder what Mark K and Joe K thinking about this.

Anonymous said: “cheap, sloppy and sleazy are his hallmarks in real life” can you further explain this? I’m having one of those days, and I think I’m understanding it correctly but I just wanna make sure

Anonymous said: So why did he do this? I mean the PR game. The guy does not need this

Anonymous said: Can I ask your opinion do you think they hooked up or just a set up pap shlt as we don't see her enter the hotel

Anonymous said: Are you still saying it’s pr or have u changed your mind

Anonymous said: I'm a little bit lost here. He truly liked and disliked the tweet? It's ironic that yesterday you mentioned that there were no pics of him getting inside and today they are here. I wonder if pics of her will show up later or tomorrow. This wouldn't bother me at all in a normal situation. But the moment makes all cheap and irresponsible. Maybe cheap and dumb is what he is? Maybe that's why the asks in interviews are all the same. Not for privacy, but to avoid dumb answers.

Anonymous said: I wasn’t in the fandom yet, but from what I’ve heard about Chris in his 20s, it sounds like he had a “cheap, sloppy and sleazy” vibe back then too. And he had a cleaner image once he started doing the Marvel movies. Now that he’s done with Marvel maybe he’s showing his true colors

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caticorn61 · 7 years

Text

Forget Me Not (Part V)

Summary: You could never forget him, but what happens when an accident causes him to forget you?

Genre: Angst/Fluff (Chanyeol x reader)

Word count: 2994

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six

(A/N) I LOVED writing this! Please let me know what you thought of this and I will do my best to update again soon!

You picked up the cup carrier off the counter as you thanked the barista and handed him the change. A few days had came and went and you finally felt yourself falling back into your old routine. Starting with your lunch break. You went to your usual sub shop, the one two blocks from work, and you ended with coffee. Your midday life line. You ordered the usual, which included Chanyeol’s usual too. At first it wasn’t on purpose, you just spat out the first thing that came to you mind. The order you got for years and when you realized you had his too you didn’t know what to do. The first few days you would throw it out, mentally scolding yourself for messing up like that, but today you kept it. You planned to surprise him in his studio, sit down with him and watch him work. That was your favorite past time. Even when you weren’t peppering kisses on his cheeks or the back of his neck, even when you just sit there and watch the gears in his head turn as he writes. The way his eyes lit up when he got the sound he wanted, or how he bit his bottom lip slightly when he was stumped. That was when you loved him most.

You walked past the front desk of SM, waving hi to the staff at the front desk and greeting them as you waited for the elevator to meet your floor. You eyed your reflection in the stainless steel of the elevator shaft, fixing your hair and your clothes. A new jacket that Lani bought you on a girls day out rested on your shoulders. She called it a pick me up method. Buying clothes to boost your confidence and make you feel like a sort of new person. You couldn’t deny you felt a little lighter on your feet today. Part of you felt a little like a schoolgirl, dressing up nice to impress the guy she liked. It was all so cliché that you had to force yourself not to cringe.

The elevator was empty. Red Velvet’s latest release replaced the stereotypical elevator music that most places had. Whenever you got in this elevator it was like a mini dance off. God forbid you rode it with Kai, it would start off playful but even then he would outshine you effortlessly. Chanyeol always goofed off and exaggerated his moves, unless it was to his own songs, in high case he would do his best to look as cool as possible, proclaiming he couldn’t make himself look like a fool to his own music in front of the woman he loved. At which point you would kiss him to shut up him up and tell him he’s always a fool but that’s why you loved him.

The floor his studio was on were always eerily quiet. The soundproofed walls kept in every ounce of life and music that they produced. Today however there was a quiet him among the producers and creators that shared the floor. Max and Henry laughed over something stupid they saw on their phones, their work laid spread out in front of them. Amber spoke with her manager and one of the producers over her new song. It was good to see everyone at work.

You walked up to Chanyeol’s door and opened it. You stopped knocking s long time ago, knowing he more than likely wouldn’t hear you anyhow over his work. He swirled around in his chair, the big one that he still made look small when he sat in it. A look of pleasant surprise took up his face and a broad smile spread to match it. You felt your stomach do a small flip and you hated yourself for how much you still loved him. How the smallest of things had you wrapped around him.

Then you saw her.

Your smile faded, and instead of doing cute little flips your stomach bunched up like it had been poisoned. The girl he had ran too a few days ago sat in front of you. The one that was eerily similar to you, but name brand. Looking at her made you feel like a knock off and he had just found the real deal. A laugh laid on her tongue, as the air went stiff. Like you had just interrupted a pleasant conversation with your prescience. Or walked into a room full of people talking about you. She sat perfectly in front of you, her legs crossed comfortably as if she had been his closest friend for years. Her hair was casual but perfect, she even flashed you a smile that, honestly, made you want to go blind.

“Hey what a surprise!” Chanyeol exclaimed. He ran a hand through his hair as he adjusted his hat as he stood.

“I, uh, brought you some coffee. I thought you might like a little pick me up.” You said softly. Your eyes darting back and forth quickly between her, him and the coffee in your hand. You awkwardly shuffled in place. If you had known she was going to be a part of his life more frequently you would have bothered. Even if she was just a friend, it felt like you’d been replaced. “Here.”

“Was, you know me so well.” He gushed slightly. “This is Hye-ah by the way, we met at a shoot last week. Hye-ah this is my stylist.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’ve seen your work, you are incredibly talented.” Hye-ah beamed,

“Thank you.” You dead panned. “Um, I should go, sorry for interrupting.” Chanyeol’s smile faltered as he looked over your face. His brows furrowed as he sat his coffee on the side stand.

“You can stay, we were just talking, we weren’t in anything deep.” He stated, his eyes fixed on you. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine it’s just supposed to snow soon and i walked here so, i shouldn’t stay out.”

“You walked?” He exclaimed, “it’s freezing outside. Let me call you a cab at least.”

You shook your head. Even if you wanted his help you still preferred walking to being in a car. Any car.

“It’s fine, Chanyeol. Now go back to work, I’ll see you later.” You faked a smile and turned to leave, ignoring him as he called your name. As you walked to the elevator you passed a trash can and dropped your coffee in.

—

You stared at the Christmas tree intently. Normally you had the members help decorate it with you but this year they were all busy. They apologized and swore up and down they would be home soon to help carry out tradition but you knew better than to expect show business to be done on time.

You rubbed your hands together lightly. Your knuckles had started to crack again. They did this every year. Once the weather turned cold your hands felt like sandpaper. This year seemed worse for some reason. They cracked to the point that they would bleed, and your skin would flake so terribly that you hated to look at them. Lotion helped a point but it never quite fixed it.

You heard the lock click and the door push open as Baekhyun stepped in. His eyes looks exhausted but he smiled his cheeky smile as he wiggled in place.

“It’s Christmas!!” He yelled and dropped a bag in front of you. A medium sized one with no logo on it. “I started my shopping.”

“Better than me, i have no clue where to start.” You said as you snooped through the unassuming bag.

“Ah no!!” He yelled and grabbed the bag away from you. “You’re on the naughty list. No gifts for you.” He waved a finger at you as you chuckled and rubbed some hand cream into your skin. “Ah have your hands always been this bad?” He took your hands in his, holding them like he was a concerned mother doting over her kids health. He was always the mother duck in your life. The protective older brother that was there even when you didn’t see it.

“It happens every winter. Although they usually don’t bleed.” You states as he whined while examining your sad knuckles. “He used to kiss them you know. Whenever they got bad he would take them and kiss each knuckle as if it was it was a cure all.” You laughed softly,”I guess he was right.”

Baekhyun looked at you softly through his round glasses, his small gentle but heartfelt. He patted your hands softly and gave them a squeeze. “I’ve got a lotion I’ll lend you that will help with this for now. I’ll bring it to you after i shower and then I’ll help you with the tree, Okay?” You nodded and he disappeared into the hall. You sighed into the empty space before you. You decided to play some Christmas music to put you in the mood, you pressed the playlist you had put together and connected to your Bluetooth speaker. As the music flooded the room you felt a new energy run through you. The box closest to you held tinsel and other random decor items. Thankfully you already had the lights strung up, but tinsel, to you, was especially annoying. For a second you debated leaving it off this year but you didn’t want to hear it from Chen for “breaking tradition” so you sucked it up and pulled it out.

Dancing to the music made the tinsel-ing go faster. You got as high as you could reach then figured you would need one of the giants to do the rest. You retrieved a box of ornaments from the container next to you and put them on randomly. Typically you’d put some on that looked nice and then scatter some handmade, more meaningful ones around to give it a personalized glow. Each member had their own ornament that they would put on themselves. You had made them a few years ago as a project and they loved them more than they would ever say. They wound up making one for you in return, calling you an honorary exo member and giving you the cheesy power of style. You rolled your eyes just thinking about it. They were all so cringey at times, but you loved them anyway.

The song switched over to “What I want For Christmas” which became your favorite Christmas song of all time last year and still reigned king. Something about this song made you feel so romantic. So at peace. Kind of like you were taking a hot bath. Warm but free and safe. It made you want to slow dance every time you heard it. On occasion Chanyeol would put this on randomly and dance with you in the kitchen out of nowhere.

You closed your eyes and swayed to the beat slowly. Imagining yourself back in your kitchen in one of those rare moments. And there it was. The warmth washed over you. The feeling that this song gave you washed through you from your head to your toes. Your hand raised subconsciously as you pretended he was there. Sometimes you would talk while you danced and sometimes you would just lay your head on your chest and enjoy each other’s company. Even if Chanyeol moved on this would stay one of your fondest memories. Even if he never remembered you and married some other girl, and if you found someone else those moments would remain. Moments where you were undoubtedly and unconditionally loved. You could only hope he felt that too. Even if he didn’t remember it anymore. A part of you was starting to accept it. Starting to think and pick itself up and dust itself off and try and throw itself back into life. To move on. To just move forward. You had taken off your ring and now and hung around your neck on a delicate chain. You would never part with it, but seeing it every day was breaking you like a hammer. It was the mental masochistic equivalent of “why are you hitting yourself”. Taking it off your finger was part of your recovery.

You pretended that he had one had in yours and the other holding you close. That he had the same cologne he always wore because you demanded he never change it. You pretended that he was holding you the way he always did. And somehow you felt at home in your pretend little world. Maybe all this practice you’d had lately was making you delusional, because it felt real. You pretended so hard that if you weren’t careful you’d cry. You pretended until you opened your eyes.

And then you realized you weren’t pretending anymore.

He had one hand in yours and one resting on your waist is gently that he seemed to be scared to move you. His eyes set almost lovingly on your face that you had to blink to really believe what you saw. He smiled at you and chuckled.

“You there?” He said just barely above a whisper.

“I didn’t hear you come in.” You replied, keeping your voice soft as an attempt to preserve the small amount of intimacy that had somehow been created.

“It was unlocked.” He answered and you nodded softly. You were so close you could feel his breath softly on your face. There were only inches between you, it was so easy and so, so, tempting to just kiss him. You wondered if his lips tasted like coffee. They usually did since he practically lived off it. You looked at him with a sense of curiosity. Wondering how the hell you got here and hoping you could stay. He looked at you and with every fiber of your being you had forgotten yourself. You forgot that he wasn’t yours, that he had forgotten you entirely. He looked at you, as if he felt exactly how you did. Undoubtedly and unconditionally loved.

“Hye-Ah is just a friend by the way.” He mentioned hesitantly. “She’s practicing for a survival show that puts her debut at stake. She wanted some pointers and i agreed to help her out.”

You looked at him and took in a slow deep breath. “You don’t have to explain this to me.” you breathed, “You’re allowed to have female friends other than me. You don’t owe me anything just because you can’t remember me.”

Chanyeol’s face grew an expression you’d never seen before. Not on him. It was more serious, yet somehow still soft. He nodded so slightly that if you hadn’t been watching him so closely you’d have missed it.

“I know. It’s not because i don’t remember you that i felt like telling you. I just wanted you to know.” He said. He looked away and suppressed a laugh.

“What?” Your laughter joined his.

“It just feels kind of, well, like…” he paused, “like I’m cheating on you somehow. Which is ridiculous I’m aware.”

You giggled a little. In your head you couldn’t stop laughing at the whole irony of this. Just how close he was to figuring anything out but yet how far. It was a fine line.

“Well I’m glad to know.” A small smile slowly took over your face. In response he seemed to glow, happy his little confession was well received. You wondered what he thought of you. What went through his mind when he saw you. You were beginning to see that you weren’t just a fly on the wall to him. Maybe you were the flowers on the counter that he checked on. Maybe you were the candles he burned to add a certain layer of home to the air. Maybe you were the elephant in the room.

“Who’s playing all this sappy Christmas music?? Didn’t we talk about this??” Baekhyun exaggerated as he walked in the room. The two of you immediately separated, Chanyeol turning to pick up a box and open it and you putting a hand on your hip and scoffing at Baekhyun’s comment.

“Baek this is your song. Literally the one you wrote.” You quipped.

“Yes but it makes me feel soft and i don’t want to feel soft i want to be alive while decorating the tree not mush on the floor.” Baekhyun picked up your phone and started flipping through the playlist you had up.

“Hey!” You yelled as you reached for your phone, only causing him to smack your hands quickly away. You felt a sting as the skin on your hand broke open. Tiny droplets of blood poked through the wound.

“Look what you did!” You said, shoving your hand in his face. “My hands are worse enough without your salty ass.” You stuck your tongue out at him playfully and he made a face back to you. Chanyeol came over and picked up your hand, which was nearly engulfed in his.

“Yikes, have they always been this bad?” He said, “My Mom always taught me that the Best way to cure winter skin is to kiss it. She always did it to me when i was little.” He cooed as he rubbed a thumb over your wound and without warning brought it to his lips and gave it a soft kiss. You froze in place, your heart forgetting it’s own beat and pumping harder as if it had been just as surprised as you. “There, your hands won’t hurt as much now.”

You turned your head slowly to Baekhyun and saw a smile appear on his face even though he fought hard to hide it.

“I guess you won’t need this then.” He shook the hand cream that he had in his other hand. He shifted his eyes to Chanyeol, his own practically ready to burst as if he was keeping a secret safe.

“Looks like you found your cure all.”

#exo #kpop #park chanyeol #chanyeol #pcy #exo fic #exo fluff #exo angst #chanyeol fluff #chanyeol angst #exo fanfic #chanyeol fic #chanyeol fanfic #fanfiction #forget me not #forget-me-not #part V #part 5 #caticorn61

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wordsandshawn · 7 years

Text

vent

A/n: Not requested, but just a little angry!shawn imagine.

Shawn’s angry. You can tell by the way that he’s been uncharacteristically silent. His eyes hold the anger you know he’s too smart to let out. It has been a rough day for him, you know that. You just wish that everyone could understand that, and not keep making things worse, even if they’re not doing it on purpose. You wish that everyone would give him the time and space he needs without pushing him so much. But thats not always the case.

First, it was the paparazzi outside the hotel, getting into his personal space and yours as well when you were trying to leave earlier that afternoon. Normally Shawn is very chill with the paps, but whenever they get too close or too forceful with you, that’s when he gets angry. The paps were in your face more than normal so that already had him tense from when you left the hotel, but it only got worse when an interview got sprung on him last minute. Shawn was originally supposed to have the afternoon free, so you were planning to just chill out and have some time together since the week had already been so busy, but then Shawn had to work, which upset him a bit. It didn’t help that the interviewer was terrible at her job and came across quite rude. You watched the whole interview from behind the camera, and you couldn’t help but cringe at the entire thing.

The last straw was possibly the worst one. When you and Shawn were heading back to the hotel after dinner, some fans stopped you on the way. Shawn had taken pictures with those same fans that morning, and he remembered them. He tried politely telling them that he was really exhausted, and that they had all already gotten pictures with him that morning, but the girls kept insisting on getting pictures. They already had their phones out recording, and he was stuck in a difficult position. He could just take the pictures with them, since they wouldn’t let up and it would take a few minutes and it would get them off his back. But at the same time, he had already had it with everyone today, and it doesn’t help that fans are asking for pictures with him when he already gave them pictures that morning. Even worse, they’re acting like he owes it to them, when they rightfully do not own or control any part of him. Yes, they support him, and he appreciates it, but he certainly doesn’t owe them two pictures in one day.

He gives in, but you know that the fans attitudes are grating on his nerves that have already been tested all day. When he’s finally finished giving everyone a photograph, he takes your hand in his and you both head into the hotel lobby. He’s completely silent all the way into the elevator. When you get out on your floor, Andrew, Jake, and Geoff are all walking with you and Shawn, walking down the hallway towards the room you share with Shawn. You know that Andrew still has things he needs to talk to Shawn about tonight. Things about scheduling and planning, but you take one look at Shawn and then look back at the three. “Lets have the meeting tomorrow morning.” Shawn says, its not a question, its not a suggestion.

But yet, Andrew still tries to protest, “Theres some things that we need to talk about. It has to do with tomorrow.”

“It can wait.” Shawn says shortly, fumbling with his wallet to find the room key.

Andrew is about to protest, but you shoot him a look that lets him know its best not to. Shawn finally retrieves the key and unlocks the room, entering immediately after barely saying bye to the three, while you linger out in the hall for a second.

“He’s had a rough day,” You tell them, stating the obvious, something that they should be well aware of by now, but that they don’t seem to be.

“I know he seems pretty out of it, but we need to talk about tomorrow.” Andrew tells you. He’s not upset or blaming you. He’s just stating the facts.

“I know, but tonight is not the time for that, believe me. Make the decisions you need to. He’ll be fine. Just give him some time, though.” You tell them.

They nod, and tell you goodnight, even though its only eight pm, before they leave to their respective rooms and you breathe a sigh of relief. Now all you have to do is go into the room, and try to calm your boyfriend down. He has every right to be angry, and you understand it, but you can’t do anything to fix it, and that's the worst feeling.

You enter the hotel room to find that Shawn has already changed from his black jeans and dress shirt into some gym shorts and a t-shirt. You take a seat on the couch, and watch him pace the room and run his fingers through his hair. He’s going over everything that happened throughout the day and what just happened outside the hotel. He’s processing everything. This is how he is when he’s angry. He’s silent the entire time. You don’t say anything. You just watch him pace and think. Finally, after a few minutes of silently pacing the room, he looks up at you.

“You know what’s the shittiest and most aggravating feeling?” He questions, his voice holding anger and irritation, but you know that none of it is really meant to be directed at you.

“What?” You question.

“When everyone acts like I owe them something.” You just nod, knowing that he needs to vent, and that you completely agree with him and his anger. He takes your nod as an invitation to continue, which it was. “The paparazzi think I owe them something. They think I owe them you. That just because you’re dating me or some shit, that they can get all up in your personal space asking personal questions, but they have no right!” He’s right, and it does bother you too, but you try not to let it show, for Shawn’s sake. You try not to let on just how terrified you are of the paparazzi at times, but you think he knows anyway. Its probably why it pisses him off so much. He continues before you can even formulate a response beyond a simple nod. “And then that interview, what the fuck was that?” Thats all he says about the interview, and you’re glad he’s not about to get into that right now. “And the fans think I owe them pictures when they already got pictures. And what if I just don’t want to take pictures. Why can’t I just say no? I know why, because then theres headlines and fans posting all over social media that I'm rude, and thats ‘bad for my image’” He says the last part as though he’s quoting someone else, presumably someone on the PR side of things, and you've sat in on enough meetings to know he’s not exaggerating or overreacting.

“I’m sorry baby,” Is all you can think to say in the moment. Because theres nothing else to say. There is nothing the you can say that will change anything. It won't change anything that already happened today, and it won't prevent these sorts of things from happening again, even though you desperately wish that it would.

“Its not your fault.” He mumbles, shaking his head. He takes a seat next to you on the couch, and you take this moment to wrap your arms around him. He leans into you. Even though he’s still angry, you know he is, he just melts into you. This isn’t something he can just get over quickly, but he’s careful not to take it out on you. He vented to you, which is understandable, but he doesn't snap at you. He doesn’t get upset at how little you’re helping, and he doesn’t blame you for anything because he’s right, its not your fault. He’s always careful about things like that, about not releasing his anger at the people that don’t deserve it. Hell, he’s careful about releasing his anger towards people who do deserve it.

You spend the next ten minutes doing the only thing you can do in, you hold him in your arms, running your fingers through his mess of brown curls. He silently processes everything, and he lets himself be angry for a few minutes. You let him be angry. But after those ten minutes of silent fuming, he sits up from his spot in your arms. He leans back and stares at you for a few seconds. You simply stare right back. He’s not fully over it yet, but still he smiles at you, and you know he’s going to be just fine. He always is, and it still baffles you how he manages to get over his anger so quickly.

And then he asks, “Wanna watch a movie?”

You just nod in response and grab the tv remote, handing it to him because you don’t want to choose. And then you lean into him, letting your eyes fall shut, feeling the exhaustion from the day wash over you. You rest in Shawn’s arms while he suggests movies you two could potentially watch. Even though the world outside is crazy and always pushing and pulling. Always changing plans up and asking for more, inside this hotel room, inside any room you’re alone in with Shawn, those things don’t seem to matter as much to either of you. Even in the midst of this craziness that has become Shawn’s life, and yours too by association, you two can always find peace in each other.

#Shawn mendes #imagine #Shawn Mendes imagine #Shawn Mendes fanfic #Shawn Peter Raul Mendes #shawn peter raul mendes imagines #shawn Peter raul mendes imagine #Shawn Mendes imagines #Shawn Mendes blurb #angry shawn

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itallcomesdown · 3 years

Text

Cloud 9s

The waves, ever so gently colliding into one another as they collapsed onto the beach, provided the perfect soundtrack to Nicky's breakdown.

Not too loud, not too harsh.

Soft and low like the tears running down her cheeks.

This wasn't Nicky’s first time weeping at the edge of the ocean. In fact, she was well into the double digits at this point and likely to hit triple before she closed out her third decade.

The first time she made the short drive to the shore for the express purpose of crying, she'd felt a little ridiculous. There was nothing wrong with her bedroom but something drew her to the drama of grey skies and sea breezes.

That's one of the perks of living by the water, depressive episodes seem more cinematic.

Today's helping of woe was served up by a call from her mother which, if you read a transcript, should have been totally normal but was, as always, specifically designed to destroy her.

"Darling."

Nicky cringed but replied sweetly. She could only hope to survive by mirroring her mother's tone.

"Darling, I'm so glad to hear from you. Your father and I do worry so much."

The first blow.

What was there to worry about? Her parents had checked in with her twice a week, every week, for years and Nicky had never shared even a passing comment that would indicate she was anything other than perfectly happy.

Now, was she? No, of course not. She was regularly crying by herself at the beach, but her parents didn't know that. Nobody knew that.

Nicky gave the verbal equivalent of a hand wave as a response. Life was all sunshine.

"Are you sure? You don't sound well."

She sounded the same as she had sounded the last time her mother had insisted that she'd sounded unwell. The same as all the times her mother had insisted she’d sounded unwell which was every time they spoke.

Another spoken hand wave. The salty air was in her throat, nothing more.

"I did say when you decided to move up there that the sea air would be bad for your lungs."

Lungs! How had this become about lungs? Last time it was "something something, microscopic sand particles are lacerating your vocal chords".

Nicky couldn't get the image of sliced, white bands out of her dreams for a week.

"You need to see someone or it will get worse. I'll speak to Dr Kline and see if she knows anyone you can go to down there."

Why?! From 16 words spoken over a patchy internet connection, her mother had decided that intervention was necessary.

Nicky’s chest tightened as she made a mental note to avoid clearing her throat for the rest of the call lest it fan the flames in her mother's mind. She kept her voice even in her response but made sure to not attempt firmness as she insisted that she was fine. Resistance only strengthened her mother's resolve.

"Jerry, remind me give Marsha a call tomorrow about Nicky's lungs."

Nicky imagined her father, somewhere off camera, giving a silent thumbs up to his wife.

Marsha Kline was not a doctor of medicine. She was a wonderful woman and a very accomplished professor of art history who had been friends with Nicky’s mother for longer than Nicky had been alive. Dr Kline was also very convinced that western medicine was a death cult and any medication not administered in tea form was bad for you.

"Don't roll your eyes, Nicky. I'm only doing my job as your mother. Someone has to look after you."

Blow 5?

The subtle difference between "out for" and "after" in a sentence like that would go unnoticed by most, but Nicky had been playing this game with her mother for all of time. Her mother used "out for" when referring to all adults except Nicky.

Now, you might think that's totally reasonable. Mother's always look after their children and that doesn't mean the semantic difference is some kind of dig. Except Nicky was the oldest of three children and the only one who her mother felt needed looking after.

"You did roll them, Nicky. I'm not going to argue, but you did. I used to be able to hear it in your voice over the phone but now that we are on Soom I can see it."

Nicky bit her tongue and tried to keep her jaw relaxed.

Where had the call gone wrong this time?

She should have suggested the call to Dr Kline herself. That way her mother wouldn't have been primed to fight about it.

At least this time she let "Soom" slide.

"Anyway, your sister and I had a lovely chat yesterday. The boys are doing great, she and Pat are looking really lean with the marathon coming up. Have you spoken to her?"

Marriage, children, weight. The self-esteem trifecta, all in one beautifully benign sentence. Nicky almost admired the efficiency.

Claire should have been born first. She was third in birth order but seemed to have decided from an early age to reach every available milestone before Nicky could make a meaningful attempt.

"You really should talk to her more. And James. Both of them really worry about you."

At this point, Nicky had accepted that she would be going to the beach as soon as the call was over. Why waste a day or two trying to hold it together when all she would be thinking about is the family meeting she hadn't been invited to where everyone did the sad head tilt as they talked about her.

"James is always saying he's happy to have you if you need somewhere to stay."

Somewhere to stay.

Nicky had a perfectly lovely apartment with her own office, a parking space and a gorgeous view but because she didn't have a mortgage, her family talked about her as if she was homeless.

"It doesn't have to be long term. Just until you're on your feet"

Would this be after her newly signed 2-year lease or would James buy that out for her?

"I'm sure he could afford it."

He probably could.

"You don't have to. I'm just putting it out there so you don't feel stuck and alone."

If Nicky had to pick a title for her autobiography, it would be "Stuck and Alone". Even at work where everyone was different from each other, she felt completely out of place. Like a puzzle piece you jam into the wrong section because it looks like it should work but when you take it in as part of the picture, something's off.

"You said you would think about it last time. I know you, you're stubborn but now is not the time for stubbornness. People are trying to help you."

The hardest part about these calls would always be having to defend her contentment when it seemed like everyone else thought she was drowning. Nicky wasn't sad about the life she had built for herself. She was sad that it seemed too small and pathetic for those she loved.

"Just call your siblings. If you've lost their numbers, I'll send them to you. Jerry, remind me to send Nicky the numbers."

Nicky sometimes distracted herself by imagining her father as a sort of humanoid smart speaker with steely mesh for skin, warm glowing eyes and a permanently erect thumb that shone green when a command had been accepted.

The speaker was called Greymax and it always made Nicky smile.

"What's funny? I know you think I'm a silly old woman so you might as well let your laugh out."

Nicky exaggerated her eye roll and sighed. It broke the tension and they both chuckled a bit but they probably couldn't tell you why. Sadness lingered behind both smiles.

"Anyway, nothing to report on this side since our last chat so I'll let you go. I'm sure you have lots of work to do for your fancy new show."

Nicky performed pleasantries with her cheek between her teeth.

It took her less than twelve minutes to reach her usual spot from the end of the call, a personal best, and less than twenty seconds to achieve full body sobs, another personal best.

The actual crying wasn't particularly intense on this occasion. Hard crying just added physical hurt to the emotional despair.

One time, she had attracted the attention of a couple of youths on what looked like a first date. They were shy and gentle but visibly concerned. Nicky was mortified.

From then on she sat in a partially enclosed opening on the side of a sheer rock face and avoided excessive wailing. Sometimes she'd get a curious bird or a tiny crustacean but, for the most part, human contact had been limited to surprised stares.

The time on her phone told her that she had been out there for twenty minutes. That was more than enough for one day and should tide her over until the following week if everything stayed calm at work.

Nicky imagined herself, in another universe, choosing to jog through her inner anguish. Smartphone strapped to her upper arm, smartwatch keeping track of her movements and bluetooth earphones delivering alternate universe pop into her ears. Was that worth a try?

Imagination Nicky was exactly as good at her job and bad at relationships, she just had a comfortable pair of running shoes. That was totally attainable but Real Nicky had always resisted. Crying sucked but it was cleansing and felt natural. Running felt like someone else's thing that she was putting on to prove a point.

When Nicky got back home, she ordered an inexpensive but well reviewed pair of running shoes. The product description painted a vivid picture of how impossibly soft these shoes were, at a fraction of the price charged by other brands. Confirmed buyers wrote formulaically about never needing another shoe again and buying pairs for friends. Nicky never read any of that though because she chose them exclusively for the price and availability for next day delivery.

The shoes arrived but remained in their box for days. Nicky passed them every time she entered her bedroom, making a mental note to try them on, even if only to check the fit, but quickly forgot.

Her mother's next call came and went without incident. A neighbour had to be hospitalised and their pet's needed a temporary home so the entire call was consumed by intro to the pup and solemn predictions regarding the neighbours fate. The prognosis was pretty good but Nicky's mother was certain big pharma was gunning for him. Dr Kline had been consulted, of course.

Teas had been ordered and special instructions repeated in hushed tones but the call was fine.

Nicky was fine.

Usually, the down time between calls was a safe zone where Nicky could stock up on the mundane joys of life but the shoes had been ordered so the universe needed to make sure they were used.

James sent a picture to the group chat. Two little lines on a white stick. Congratulations all around. Wonderful news!

That evening the phone rang.

"I'm trying to convince your brother to move into a bigger house so there is room for you and the baby but Ryan is acting as if I've gone crazy. Can you believe it?"

Nicky finally got to the beach after an hour and a bit. Turns out the shoes really were baby clouds with laces, but it's hard to run when your chest is heaving.

Next time she would have to drive to the beach, then cry while running.

Fewer witnesses and, again, more cinematic.

0 notes

promptistrashqueen · 7 years

Text

A Royal Comission(17)

This is still just cute fluff and I just...love it? Thanks @fleetstreetfatality for fueling this fire :) (ALSO this is 74 pages long now.Yikes)

The first morning session with Cor is not what he expects. Brutal physical exhaustion, maybe some aggression working out or something.

Instead Prompto finds himself sitting very still beside the marshall, watching the river that feeds the lake as it runs past them, uncaring. Cor doesn’t speak, just breathes slowly, eyes half lidded as he stares into the clear water. Prompto glances at him every few minutes and tries to match his breathing, maybe it’s some centering thing?

Half an hour passes and finally Cor moves, turning his body toward Prompto some more.

“You’ve got patience. Good. Noctis is a trying little shit on the best days. Now, enough staring at the damn water, on your feet.”

Prompto blinks and nods, hurrying to stand, almost immediately he starts bouncing his weight from foot to foot. Cor looks at him blankly and he stops, cringing a bit.

“It’s good to be quick, on your toes. When you shoot though, especially when you shoot to kill, you have to find your grounding, even if you only a have a second. I’d like to see how your aim is first, know what I’m in for, then we’ll work on that.”

With another jerky nod Prompto follows Cor a little further down the small dirt bath, noting absently some of the wildflowers he wants to take pictures of later, imagining how they’d look in ink on Noctis’ hips. He’s pulled back into their purpose though as the Marshall stops and gestures to a target.

He looks at the other man, just to affirm the intention but Cor gives away little. He sighs and raises the gun, hands fitting startlingly well and tries to hold it steady. It’s a bit shaky and Prompto forces himself to take slow breaths, drawing from somewhere deep as he sights and fires. He lets off four shots and then stops.

It’s only when Cor and himself approach the target he realizes it’s shaped loosely like a person. The shots are a perfect line, starting just under the ribs and ending with a final shot between the eyes and Prompto shudders, a clammy and uncomfortable feeling bubbling in his chest.

Cor doesn’t give him any kind of look though, just nods.

“Good. It’s a start. Now then….”

Several hours later Prompto curls in bed again, his body curved around Noctis’ as he runs his fingers through the Prince’s hair. He’s a little sore but nothing like he expected to be after working with Cor. It was a lot of information, a lot of correcting tiny details, and a lot of just...talking.

Noctis stirs, pushing into Prompto hands and humming. It draws a smile from the blonde and he leans in to kiss Noctis’ cheek, breathing him in, morning breath making his nose wrinkle a little. Cor’s right, he thinks as he looks at the sleeping Prince, there’s nothing that could turn him from Noctis’ side. Not his own past, not Noctis’ actions, not the Astrals themselves.

At the moment though, his main concern is waking Noctis.

“C’mon Noct, it’s late. The others want to do something, they keep talking about racing boats? I’m lost, I need you to guide me here dude! I’ve never even touched a boat!”

He gently shakes Noctis, becoming a little more playful as the Prince grumbles at him until his flicking his fingertip against his nose. It must be irritating because Noctis finally gives up and rolls away with a moan before sitting up.

His grey eyes blink sleepily and he glares at Prompto.

“You don’t have to, they’re not racing actual boats.”

“Oh..uh, what?”

“Man...let me put on clothes and shit.”

Prompto knows that tone, it’s Nocts “I’m too fucking tired, give me five” voice and he’s more than happy to let his lover wake up more before pushing it.

He sits patiently, smiling a little while Noctis rolls out of bed, almost literally. His feet thunk against the floor and there’s a moment where Prompto’s not sure that the rest of Noctis’ body isn’t going to follow them down. He manages though and makes small, somehow endearing, noises, grabbing clothing with his eyes half closed and tugging it on.

Prompto only laughs a little when he comes out of it with his shirt on backwards and has to fight it to turn around.

“You alright there buddy?”

Noctis just glares at him, but there’s no real heat to it as his hands are already seeking Prompto’s body. He pulls the blonde to stand and hugs him tight, tucking his face into Prompto’s neck and humming softly. Prompto smiles, small and warm, and hugs him back.

“Morning.” Noctis sounds marginally more awake now and Prompto rubs his cheek into the Prince’s messy hair with a soft sound.

“Morning...so...boats?”

Noctis let’s him go, stepping back and shrugging as he combs fingers through his hair, patting it flat. Prompto gets distracted for a moment because it doesn’t seem like Noct’s going to do much to it today and it’s sort of...intimate in it’s own way, seeing him relaxed this way. It gives Prompto another moment of perspective as he realizes that despite the usual level of casual that Noctis keeps out here, along with the others, he can let go of even more of the formalities that come from being royal.

“Yeah...it started when Iggy and I were little and it’s kinda...tradition now. We build little boats out of leaves and grass and stuff and float them down the river, whoever’s goes the furthest in the River God while were here and gets to make decrees about dinner and what games we play. It’s..silly.”

Prompto’s grinning already though, because it’s exactly the kind of fun he’s never had. He shakes his head, “I hope you’re ready to eat salad for dinner then, because I’m outclassed in everything else, but I can build stuff like nobodies business.”

Noctis just smirks, “Is that a challenge?”

“You scared bro?”

“No, but you certainly should be. Clarus is the reigning champion.”

Ignis’ amused tone about makes Prompto jump out of his skin and he turns to find the the man leaning in the open doorway to the room, arms crossed over a light tan button down. It’s almost...safari-esque, especially paired with the khaki shorts and the leather first aid pouch strapped to his thigh, but it’s so crisp it can only be Ignis’ version of outdoor wear.

“I dunno Iggy, he’s threatening vegetables. You two might have to team up to take him down.”

Ignis laughs and Prompto’s chest warms as Noctis takes his hand and pulls him after the advisor.

In the end Prompto’s little boat, large maple leaves and a few carefully selected twigs does very well but Noctis’ crosses the line of sunlight slanting over the water they declared a finish line a little ahead, Clarus’ boat caught on a stray bunch of leaves in the water and Iris blowing hard to free her own little craft. Regis, Gladio, and Ignis’ little ships are all just swirls of debris after a rather unfortunate collision with one another.

Prompto laughs as Noctis father grabs his hands and flings them up, shouting out his victory while the other’s mock being unable to look at his glory. It’s all just...silly.

Regis gives a heartfelt eulogy for the “wee nature sailors” lost in the tragedy and Prompto finds himself wiping exaggerated fake tears away as Cor nods along solemnly. It’s all made much more ridiculous by the fact that Regis is dressed in a fisherman's vest, his wide brimmed hat clutched to his chest. Gladio slings an arm around Prompto and Noctis when they begin the walk back, forcing his body between them.

“So lovebirds, fancy a few rounds of cards?”

Prompto blinks at him and Noctis scoffs, “You’re just trying to win your dignity back.”

“Bad form son.” Clarus comments, to their right and Gladio unashamedly shrugs back at his father.

“Yeah, well I thought sticking those of us not cooking at a table might be a good way to learn a little more about blondie here.” He jerks his head at Prompto, who swallows and is sudden very warm.

He forgets so easily, too easily in fact, that though he’s been made welcome, they still have questions, things they want to know. It’s almost more daunting now, because he knows they’ll ask him about normal things, movies he likes, if he prefers milk or dark chocolate, a hundred tiny things that he’s never had to share before.

Clarus answers that with a hum, “I’d like to know a bit more about some of those tattoos, that’s true. Alright, River God, what say you?”

Noctis stops, bringing the whole troop of them to a halt and thinks on it, his eyes meeting Prompto’s as he pretends to weigh his options. Prompto’s grateful when he realizes that Noctis really is taking in how nervous he is. He gives him a tiny nod and Noctis raises his chin, his tone imperial.

“I will favor you with this request. One full round of rummy for the night then!”

“Yes!” Iris claps and Prompto looks at her, “I always win Rummy!”

He laughs and Noctis shoves Gladio out of the way, taking his hand and giving it a light squeeze that Prompto returns. He finds himself looking forward to Iris wiping the floor with them, because for once, it’s more about the company.

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choking-on-roses · 7 years

Text

Rain Fell

(3225 words)

The first time Cerise saw the muddy footprints was only mildly surprising. One brow ticked up as she followed the trail across her freshly swept floor. As expected, it didn’t lead anywhere. It faded off at the end of aisle five, next to the slushie machines. When she turned her head from side to side, all she saw were neatly organized rows of candy bars and magazines, washed a clinical blue under the fluorescent lights. The soda fridge gave off a persistent buzz, but otherwise the gas station was quiet. The maker of the prints was no longer in the store.

She hadn’t encountered this particular phenomenon before, but there were constant others just like it. It was new, but not alarming. When she was new here, an event like this probably would have scared her. Oldtimers were always offering reassurances, like it was their job. “You can hear sobbing by the tracks if you go there on a full moon,” they said, like it was nothing. “The chairs in the diner rearrange themselves sometimes. Don’t worry about it.”

The only curious thing were the footprints themselves. They didn’t fade. When Cerise bent down and touched one, the mud rubbed off on her finger. And stayed.

That, and the size of them.

The second time she saw them was the very next night. She decided two in a row was noteworthy enough to warrant a single on-duty phone call.

“They’re from a kid,” she insisted over the phone. “I’m sure of it.”

Brenda yawned on the other end. “They can’t be, though...”

“They are. They’re tiny.”

“It’s just a ghost, hon. God, they shouldn’t let you work alone so late at night.”

Cerise sighed, tapping her nails on the cracked counter next to the cash register. The clock on it read 12:34 am. She knew she hadn’t woken Brenda up. She was a night owl. And an oldtimer. Not as old as the majority of them, comparatively, but she’d been here since at least the 80s. A few decades before Cerise showed up. Hard to pinpoint exactly, considering how time always seemed to jump around here. A day, a week, it made no difference. The same thing could have happened yesterday, could also have happened twenty years ago, and it was difficult to remember anything. Dates and times and names and telephone numbers would slip through Cerise’s head like a sieve if she didn’t write everything down. Even then, her calendar was often wrong, like Father Time himself had given up.

“That’s the thing. It's no normal ghost. It left dirt.”

Brenda laughed. “Now that’s really impossible.”

It was a gentle laugh, humouring her, but Cerise still felt stung. She’d been here long enough to know things. She knew what was a ghost and what wasn’t. She’d landed this job, after all. Not everyone was up for the strain of working at such a remote location. Given the transient nature of the truck stop, things were more likely to bleed through here from the other side. Sides. Both of them, the living and the dead.

Now Brenda was going to think she was seeing things. Cerise sighed again, using a long pink nail to pick at the edge of one of the ragged tears encircling her wrists. At least Brenda wouldn’t tell on her. Nobody would believe her even if she did, making her the perfect confidante.

“Come and see ‘em,” Cerise urged her. “Tell me they're not from a kid.”

Brenda stood with her cheeks puffed out and her hands shoved in her armpits, rocking back and forth in her pink fluffy slippers and housecoat. The footprints were still gloriously real.

Cerise smiled, smug. She waited.

Brenda bent down for a closer look, touching a print as Cerise had. Now it was dirt that crumbled between her fingers. Nothing as special as mud. She buried her fingers in her thick brown ringlets and scratched her head.

Sure, there were ‘underage’ people here. Teens. A lot of them, actually, sporting wounds like Cerise’s, or sallow skin from intentional ODs. Some were young enough to make Cerise’s hardened heart feel some vestige of what it used to be to be sad.

None had feet this small.

There were diapers and baby wipes for sale at the end of aisle three. Cerise dusted them every shift, but had never, ever sold a single item. There were no children here.

“These gotta be from a kid,” Brenda finally agreed. She met Cerise’s eyes, her brown ones looking terrified. “How did it get here?”

Cerise was less terrified than she was...intrigued. She shrugged, mouth still curved into an unstoppable grin. “God must’ve made a mistake.”

Brenda was still crouched with her knees spread, her fuzzy green bathrobe spread open in an unflattering position. Her mouth fell open at Cerise’s comment; it was laughable how she still believed in God’s plan, even after finding herself here. She readjusted her robe and hugged herself tighter around the middle, as if she could keep her guts from spilling out through the hole in her stomach where she’d shot herself with her husband’s shotgun. “God doesn’t make mistakes,” she sniffed, standing. “He sent us this kid on purpose.”

“No,” Cerise replied, shaking her head before Brenda had even finished. “Nope. This isn’t my problem. Our problem.”

Brenda’s eyes twinkled. Cerise wondered how she managed to do that. Almost everyone around here had dull, grey eyes that spent too much time staring at the dust. But Brenda was sometimes passionate about things. Cerise admired her for it, but not enough to try to copy her. She still wasn’t sure if she was here because she was too passionate or not passionate enough.

“You’re in charge of this place, right?” Outside the door, the gas pump dinged.

“I guess,” Cerise replied, looking out the window. Orange light from the flickering streetlamp bathed the pump area. A plastic bag rustled in the dry wind, skittering across the pavement and disappearing into the darkness on the other side of the pool of light. There was nobody there. “What’ll we do when we find them? Call social services?”

Brenda chortled to herself, ringlets bouncing as she shook her head. “Just call me next time it happens,” she said, gesturing to the prints.

The little bell didn’t tinkle when she opened the door to leave.

Next day, Cerise was being an irresponsible employee. Somehow the thought of getting fired didn’t seem as threatening as it once had, back when she’d still had a life to fuck up. She sat on the floor behind the cash register and ate M&Ms until she felt sick, trying not to crinkle the package too much.

At 12:01am, the bell over the door tinkled. Cerise froze, instantly alert. She heard... nothing.

She was about to chalk it up to another ghost when she heard the slap of bare feet on the cheap tile floor. She manoeuvred onto her hands and knees, accidentally squeezing the packet in her hand and sending peanut covered chocolates rolling across the floor. She cringed, waiting quietly to see if she’d scared away the child.

“Hello?” The little voice was timid. “Mommy?”

Cerise held her breath. How was the monster under a child’s bed supposed to introduce themselves?

“Mommy, are you hiding?” It was barely more than a whisper. Cerise was fairly sure now that she was dealing with a little girl. Could she even remember being a little girl? God. Brenda would know how to do this. Brenda gave off a very matronly vibe. Maybe she used to have kids... Cerise didn’t know if she just couldn’t remember or if she’d completely failed to ask about it. Proof that she was shitty with people in general. She did not have the delicacy required to talk to a child.

She took a fortifying gulp of air first. “It’s Cerise,” she started. Lame. Lame lame lame. “That’s my name. Cerise. I work here.” She pointed to her nametag, forgetting the child couldn’t see her from behind the counter. If she was even old enough to know how to read.

Before she could move, a little girl’s face poked around the corner. The rest of her followed. Cerise didn’t know what she’d been expecting, but it wasn’t quite this. This girl didn’t look nearly as threatening as she’d imagined. She was probably about five or six, Cerise guessed. Small. Wearing pajamas with a picture of Buzz Lightyear on them. The knees were soiled black with dirt, as were the girl’s feet. Her hair was in a ponytail that was coming dangerously loose. The M&M's she'd collected from the floor had smudged colours all over her hands. She came very, very close, until Cerise could smell the chocolate on her breath. “Where’s mommy?”

“I dunno.” Nowhere. You’ll never see her again. She’s gone. You’re gone. How to explain that to a six-year-old? “You can eat anything you want. I’m gonna call my friend. She’ll know what to do.”

Brenda did indeed know what to do. Cerise watched in awe as she got down on the child’s level and crooned at her, earning herself a trusting hug within a minute. She wrapped the girl in one of her crocheted blankets and set her on top of the counter, where she sat with her legs dangling, stoically munching on a bag of potato chips she was having trouble gripping with her chocolaty fingers.

She let Brenda set about fixing her hair. Cerise hadn’t considered that the most pressing matter to tend to, but far be it from her to argue.

“What’s her name?” Brenda mouthed over the top of the girl’s head. Cerise gave an exaggerated shrug. How had she not even thought to ask that? Even the bare minimum of social decorum proved too much.

It didn’t bother Brenda. She combed her fingers through the fine hair, pulling it back into a neat ponytail. Cerise was almost jealous of the girl. It had been so long since anyone had touched her anywhere at all.

“What’s your name, dear?” Brenda asked affectionately.

Affection. Cerise had a venus fly trap she used that tone on. Or, used to.

“Lily. What’s your name?”

“Brenda,” Brenda replied. She a very serious face as she stuck out her hand to formally shake Lily’s tiny, grimy one. Potato chip crumbs clung to her hand as she pulled it away. Cerise marvelled at the self-control it must take not to wipe it off immediately. “Don’t you worry, sweetheart. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

Cerise paled. That was quite a bold assumption. One she wasn’t sure she was ready to back up. She pursed her lips, glaring her displeasure over Lily’s head. What the fuck do we do?

Brenda smiled, at Cerise and then at Lily. She took both of Lily’s hands in her own. “Let’s go home.” Her accompanying wink made Cerise a sudden co-conspirator. She resigned then to her fate. Brenda took Lily out to the truck while Cerise stuffed candy bars and Gatorades into a plastic shopping bag. She locked the door but didn’t turn out the lights. If Buster drove by at 3am, as he was prone to do, maybe it’d be enough to fool him into thinking she hadn’t abandoned her post mid-shift.

The house was down Range Road 18, a fourteen minute drive. Eleven, if Cerise was driving. It was probably for the best that she wasn’t; the old Ford had no seatbelts, so it was Cerise’s job to hold Lily secure in her lap as they shuddered down the shitty gravel road, further and further from the pinprick of light that indicated the gas station. The girl was warm on Cerise’s knees. She put a hand against the window, craning up to look at the stars. Yes, Cerise had been delighted by them too. They shone so brightly in the dark, far from city lights. She wondered if Lily came from a city. There might have been one close by, once. Trying to recall, Cerise encountered only static. The pie in her lap was warm, fresh from the oven, they were taking it to Grandma’s Thanksgiving dinner and—

“What’s that?” Lily murmured, blinking sleepily. Her greasy finger left a smear on the glass. Outside was nothing but darkness, shrouding the countryside for miles all around. There had never been anything else.

The crocheted blanket dragged on the ground like a superhero’s cape. Cerise followed after with the bag, trying not to step on it. She hung around the doorway like a ghost after that, watching Brenda set about cleaning Lily up with a wet-wipe. Brenda rolled her eyes when she noticed. “Go find something clean for her to wear,” she instructed. Cerise obeyed without a word.

The room directly across from Brenda’s (she always thought of it as Brenda’s) had a walk-in closet in it, full of broken furniture and toys and cardboard boxes with labels too faded to read. Cerise had gone through them many times, often forgetting their contents as soon as she’d put them back. She knew one of them had a camp t-shirt in it that might fit a small girl.

In the very bottom of the very last box she found a pair of Big Bird pajamas, perfect for the occasion, yet frustrating because they were not what she thought she would find. There was no camp t-shirt anywhere. Disgusted, Cerise kicked the box as hard as she could, sending it skidding across the floor and into the darkened closet, where it vanished. Good riddance.

“—Cerise’s herb garden,” Brenda’s soft voice was explaining from the kitchen. She was holding the little girl up so she could have a look at the window planter. Five brown, withered stalks, painstakingly collected, poked out of separate pots.

Lily’s eyes were more pensive than Cerise would have thought possible. “They’re dead,” she solemnly informed them. “I think they got too thirsty.”

Brenda chortled. “I think you’re right. And I think it’s time for bed.”

“Is Mom coming?” Lily directed her question at Cerise, who had approached only to hand over the pajamas.

Cerise stared at the child. Her eyes were so dark it was hard to tell if they were blue or grey. They seemed to know more than Cerise did. What the hell were they saying? “Yeah, sure. Tomorrow. We’ll find her tomorrow.”

The child accepted this without quarrel, tipping her head back in a big yawn that revealed a missing front tooth. Could the Tooth Fairy still find her here? Somewhere there was a mother who no longer had a reason to sneak quarters under her child's pillow at night.

Cerise found herself too uneasy to fall asleep like she usually did, worried that she might jostle Lily too much and wake her, as if that would be some great tragedy. Long after she’d grown used to her arm being numb she was still half-awake. Tentatively she slid her open palm over the sheets until it found Brenda’s hand. Hers was not warm, but ambient. Comfortable. With a gentle squeeze, Cerise drifted off.

The air was thick and heavy with mist. It obscured the twisted roots jutted out along the path and the dead tree that must have been their source. Where was she? The flats around the dried-up lake? No, this scent was unfamiliar. Earthy and rich, so different from the soil she was used to. It smelled wet. Pausing, Cerise inhaled deeply of it, eyes watering as it filled her nostrils and soothed her parched throat. Humidity. Moisture. A heavenly cloud swirled around her, smoky tendrils clinging to her clothes, her hair. It tugged at her.

Taking another indulgent breath, Cerise made her way through the fog, navigating with warped path with the toe of her hiking boot.

Something caught her eye. A leaf. The size of her hand, greener than the peeling paint on Brenda’s Ford. She bent to touch its shiny surface. Soft and smooth and cool against her dry skin. Cerise dropped to her knees, digging her fingers into the moist earth. There were pine needles, some of them still holding fresh colour. She stretched out as far as she could, burying her nose against the leaf and taking deep breaths of its tantalizing scent, letting it strip away all the weariness she carried.

The dirt smell was earthy and rich, mixed with the unmistakable breath of decay. Wet, rotting wood. Animal flesh. Just for a moment, enough to raise the hair on the back of her neck, and then it was gone. Pushing herself up, Cerise’s hand found something soft. She pulled it from the dirt, where it was buried so shallowly. It was a tattered sundress, yellow, with tiny cupcakes printed on it. She remembered buying it on clearance on a shopping trip with her friends.

Heavy fog closed in as Cerise forced her eyes back to the ground, looking for the thing she didn't want to see. Not far off grew wild strawberries, their leaves spread out close over the ground, little white blossoms winking like stars. Stalks reached upwards, thirsty for sun and rain, weaving a delicate pattern through the fragile bones. A ribcage lattice, bleached from exposure, decorated with tiny, unripe strawberries, stalks bowing under the weight of their insignificant fruit.

The arm bones curled unnaturally behind its back, wrists still tied with plastic cable ties, stained dirty brown with old blood. Eye-sockets gazed skywards, a shock of bluebells growing through one side. Cerise swore she saw that ribcage well to match the movement of her chest. She pressed trembling hands over her lips, forcing the world to pause with her. Not a sound, not a movement.

A raindrop fell from the sky, splattering across a strawberry leaf with enough force to make it shudder. She knew if she looked beneath the pine tree to the north, she would find a hunting knife.

Lily smelled like sour candies. Her weight was strong and warm against Cerise's side.

"I'm taking her home," Cerise whispered in the dark. It was quiet for a while, until she thought Brenda was still sleeping.

Finally, a sigh. “How? How’re we gonna do that?”

“I dunno,” Cerise mumbled. Her head was still full of fog. How did one typically deal with lost children? The police? “We’ll…we’ll try calling her family!”

She felt bedsheets rustle as Brenda rolled over to face her. She could only see her very faintly in the wavering moonlight filtering through the curtains.

“You know what happens when we try calling.”

Yeah. Warped voices. Or a dead line. Cerise vaguely recalled hearing her sister’s timid “hello?” once, but it was faded and broken and something had squeezed around Cerise’s throat so she couldn’t answer.

“She probably doesn’t even know her phone number,” Brenda continued, stroking Lily’s hair. The girl made a soft noise but continued sleeping, one nostril whistling softly.

“We have to send her back.”

"God doesn't make mistakes, Cerise,” Brenda said firmly, her voice a few degrees cooler. “He sent her here. To us."

Cerise lightly fingered the fabric of Lily’s pajamas. She knew they were Big Bird, but in the darkness all she could see were cupcakes. "Yes, he does," Cerise croaked. Her wrists ached as she wrapped her arms around the little girl, pulling her close to her chest.

#my writing #original characters #short story #ghost story #creative writing #mine #this is the thing i wrote for class #it feels unfinished...i kinda wanna do more with it tbh #we'll see

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