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cantsaythetword · 1 year

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Somehow everything that's gone pear shaped ATM is linked back to it being my fault and I'm realising holy shit I really need to be better

#he speaks #kinda a vent post #i feel like im fucking up all my relationships cause im a pushover and i have to make things easier for strangers/acquaintances #rather than people i genuinely love #i think my view of people and friendships is fucked #i cannot tell who actually likes me #and after one shakey moment im like OK FUCK YOU NOW HATE ME FOREVER #which i know makes me sound like a whiney lil bitch #and its hard to communicate that to people cause i know if i dont choose my words VERY carefully it can come off as manipulative #so i just... dont tell people?#i act like everybody's friend cause that's what i want my role to be #but i actually dont think i can tell who actually loves me #unless its REAL obvious and then its only temporary until even the slightest thing happens #idk why it is that way #or how to fix it #but i need to #i need to fix it #my gf is mad atm and im like 90% sure it's at a few people and an overall situation #but im terrified that shes mad at me #not cause she'll do anything #just cause in my head people dont get mad at their friends #(WHICH I KNOW ISNT TRUE)#idfk guys my brain is just fucked #i need to sleep or something

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temporary-tats · 18 days

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Mon Loup

Please send help, Wenclair has taken over my brain.

Per usual, do not reupload without credit/permission. Thanks folks!

(My ko-fi, should you wish!)

#never drawn a werewolf before #ok that's kind of a lie #I've never drawn a werewolf that I did not think was absolute garbage before #but this idea came to me and I simply could not do anything until I drew it #so today we learned how to draw a fuckin werewolf #kind of sort of it's like 60% of the body here but shush #also experimented with a couple new brushes which I am digging greatly #I feel like I'm cheating on RWBY not drawing bumbleby LMAO #but like same dynamic so #close enough for the regulars eh?#but yeah feel free to follow for more wenclair cause hoo boy the brainrot is beginning and it is hitting hard #(you can claw the bees from my cold dead hands tho dw they aren't going anywhere)#wenclair #wednesday netflix #wednesday #wednesday addams #enid sinclair #wednesday x enid #pov you fucked with the WRONG little goth #She'll kill you and so will her big golden retriever wolf gf #temp tats art

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newtness532 · 9 days

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i know that graduating one semester later is not that big of a deal and i haven't made any plans about what comes next so it doesnt even make a difference. so why does it feel just so terrible

#there are no chances of us finishing the thesis on time #i mean the presentations are only until the 24th so we should have already be done with it #but miss girlie said one week ago that she'd add her parts of the introduction and today i asked her and she said she'll do it tomorrow #and then there's the results and conclusions which i havent even started yet cause im a complete idiot and ive wasted so much time #and i very much doubt she has written anything about them yet #which okay i understand that she is working and i know working σεζον isnt easy #but she could have at least done a copy paste #whatever #i need to at least focus on the exam #i only have a few more slides but i started feeling a panic attack coming so i took a break to try and stop it from coming #if anyone knows how to stop that little voice in your head that always tells you how big of a failure you are please lmk 🙃#okay gonna go finish #then I'll cook lunch and maybe if i spend the rest of the day writing we'll make some progress #maybe we can ask for an extension? idk. i doubt she has even bothered calling the professor even tho she said she was going to #whatever im so done with everything #not looking for pity just needed to complain about it #which seems to be the only thing ive been doing sooo yup #okay going fr now #jo says stuff #university update

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dummerjan · 6 months

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anxiety has been building up over the past couple days and it feels like it's winding itself evermore tighter around me and immobilizing me or as if i were a coil that's being stretched to its maximum capacity and about to snap i've been feeling paralyzed ever since i woke up my mind keeps circling back to things i said or did months ago but it's not just social interactions it's a general feeling of anxiety a shower hasn't helped i've tried physically shaking it off i keep making weird noises to drown out my thoughts but nothing is helping and i am this close to tears

#argh but angrily hitting the keys typing this out has helped a teeny tiny bit at least #i wanted to meet up with a friend for her lunch break in an hour and that would likely do me good because she's just nice to be around #interactions with her don't cause me anxiety and she'll likely just tell me about the guy she started dating recently #and while i won't have anything insightful to say that i can just let her talk #but my hair is still wet and i haven't eating and i am starting to feel shaky and there is so much to be done around the flat #i don't feel like i'll be ready to actually go out #i just want to scream and cry out of sheer frustration #the almost crying isn't because i am sad i am just so... idk wound tight and i can't take it anymore #i feel like i am losing my mind and i don't know what to do with myself #i just don't know where it is coming from and why now #maybe a lobotomy?#meins

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gxlden-angels · 7 months

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RUBY FRANKE AND JODI HILDEBRANDT SENTENCED TO 4 TO 60 YEARS IN PRISON LETS GOOOOO

#Ruby pled guilty to the charges #She'll likely stay about 30 since that's the current limit legally in Utah for consecutive sentences #But that's only if she's sentenced to the maximum sentence possible #15 years for each case of child abuse #for a total of 4 cases and 60 years #her adult children aren't considered methinks #similar to how a therapist can't tell authorities you're being abused after u turn 18 without your consent #idk how much she'll get seeing as they're in Utah #so there's a lot of ppl that genuinely believe she has a right to do anything to her kids short of killing them #if it means they stick with the religion for as long as they live #some do believe killing ur kids should be allowed tho if it saves their soul or whatever #I disagree with both obviously I think you should be hit with hammers if you treat your kids anywhere near like this #but Jodi better get got those aren't even her fuckin kids got damn #I hope they both get the maximum sentence but especially Jodi cause she absolutely exhasterbated this paranoid mom's shit #Ruby isn't innocent in the slightest she was fucked before Jodi ever showed up #but I fully believe Jodi pushed her closer to this extremen #extreme*#and I hope we start to chip away at the religious exemptions we still have in the US when it comes to child abuse #'spare the rod' spare ur fucking breath if you hit a child I'm gonna hit you with hammers #ex christian #religious trauma #child abuse

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keeperthemultiversemom · 1 year

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umm I think something up with Scripter, kinda worried about her :(

"Huh ? What do you mean ? Hm, I haven't seen Scripter in a while..."

*Keeper raises her head, looking at the sky for a moment, as if she was trying to observe something afar. She stays silent afterward*

#welcome home au #whmultiverse #ask peacekeeper poppy #ask blog #keeper poppy au #multiverse mom #peacekeeper poppy #she's using her sense to feel what's up #but asking for more infos won't do much cause Keeper won't tell anything more #she needs to be sure before making any claims after all #she'll probably ask Scripter about this

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blujayonthewing · 3 days

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a slightly annoying thing about playing dnd for Me, Personally is that I do think it'd be fun to play some kind of thief, but rogues are pretty obviously the best suited for that, and I'm so annoyed on principle that 5e automatically assumes your rogue Must Be some kind of criminal that I stubbornly refuse to build a rogue who steals shit

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icanbeyourgenie · 1 year

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MALEEN (Taylor's Version) — speak now

enchanted / i can see you / sparks fly / foolish one / electric touch / long live / haunted

#i listened at haunted and was like “this is maleen with their lost baby”#cause how do you move on from a miscariage because of poison???#you don't #the lyrics fit so much #yasmeen definitely went back to not trusting anything and anyone #and kai just wanted one thing for himself for one but it was taken away #so now they haunted #yeah it's my first tag cause i made myself cry with this one lmao #mine #megane's birthday week #day seven: romance #yasmeen #yasmeen x malachai #foolish one also convinced me this album is them #cause “i'll have your longing glances but she'll have your ring” is their story #also speak now cause they're secretive af #and have to hide their relationship #basically speak now is maleen's album

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boygirlctommy · 4 months

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i think if cclingy met my horrible lego ocs from when i was 8 .well lets just say the nuke ending wouldve happened a lot faster

#my post #i actually have so many thoughts about this .bcus i love cclingy more than anything in the world and also ive had girl and barriss for #13 years at LEAST.#girl and barriss LOVE inventing and engineering i think they would love tubbo #they hang out once and invent nukes again but bigger and worse and more of them <3 #barriss kinda does what shes told like she'll just tag along but she'll make it obnoxious and painful for everyone involved. she likes #causing problems its enrichment for her #like yknow how tommy told ranboo they were robbing a house and ranboo just. went. barriss wouldve done that but she also wouldve set it on #fire on purpose #my fucked up lego ocs from when i was a baby who have no loyalty except to each other <3 #yknow they DO have other friends. they just dont give a shit about them lmao. f in the chat for frodo and guy and tiny ani

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tinakibed · 5 months

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got called baby by a girl today 😭🩷💕

#tbh....im like almost convinced im a lesbian....#however i already broke up with my bf once cause i thought that and i dont want to do it again 😞#but man. guys just do not affect me the way girls do #it took me so long not to be a little grossed out by my boyfriend flirting with me and then one little comment by a girl has me 💕#anyways doesnt matter. i would like to be friends with this girl but i cannot approach her cause thats scary #i hope she'll talk to me 😭 i would love to have friends lol #OH YEAH #also i told my bf about what happened and hes like did you punch her #and i was like no #so he goes i'll remember that. i'll start calling girls baby and beautiful now #like???? thats not the same thing!!! im not calling anyone anything 😭 i cant help what other people say

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house-in-the-backyard-trees · 5 months

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For once I would like to work at a place where me calling off doesn't result in a guilt trip. Sorry I'm the only responsible employee there but I was literally hyperventilating at the idea of letting my manager down bc I woke up and instantly started bawling about everything and could not face work. And my stomach has been murdering me from all the anxiety I've been dealing with so I literally can barely function anyway.

#like it is not my fault our newest employee can't remember anything. i trained her for over a month honestly. she still can't remember where #half the buttons on the screen are or what they do. I'm half convinced she has dementia bc she's asked me multiple times what year it is #when she was doing her paperwork. like even at my first job i was left alone more than my boss will let this woman. she refuses to let her #close alone. and like i know it'll go bad. but it is not my responsibility to babysit a 65 year old. i trained her and i know i trained her #well bc the other 2 people i trained did not have this amount of issues. i am not an assistant. your shitty company will not give me that #position even though i asked. i am the same rank as everyone else working there and i cannot have anymore stress right now or i will fucking #quit. the other girl that works here just got her wisdom teeth out and she'll be down for the count. not like she was much use anyways. but #i do not understand why my manager is making it all my problem when i taught our new employee everything. i was working by myself here for #entire shifts by the time i was here a month. the store might burn down if she does but Jesus Christ not everything is my responsibility #when my manager isn't there. I'm not the fucking assistant. I'm a fucking cashier. like I'm about to stop doing all the things i was doing #to try to get them to promote me to assistant. cause it obviously didn't fucking work. not gonna go around and make a list of everything #expiring this month. not gonna obsessively organize and stock the cooler. I'm tired of being the only one that does it and does it right #anyway. it's so fucking exhausting. like last week i was so anxious and upset i was throwing up. i couldn't have gone to work if i tried.#now I'm just over being the useful one bc it never got me fucking anywhere.

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dylanconrique · 1 year

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idk maybe i'm delusional but i think a chenford kitchen dance to dream a little dream of me would do wonders to my damaged, rotting soul.

#*and this is icarly!#the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #chenford #otp: you know me so well #it's sad to think that lucy probably has some sort of ptsd hearing that song now #but ik tim would do anything to make that a special song for her again #for some reason i imagine tim has an old radio sitting on his kitchen counter....#and lucy's sitting at the table while tim is cleaning up and doing the dishes or something #and dream a little dream of me comes on #(the one by dorris day cause that's personally my fave version of the song)#like... tim catches her flinch from the corner of his eye when it's announced on the station #immediately putting his task on hold and pulling her up like 'come on dance with me'#singing along the words to her even though he knows he has a terrible voice and hates to sing #spinning and dipping her to the high note in 'stars fading but i linger on dear'#that way when she hears this song she'll associate it with a much happier memory #*DEEP INHALE*#okay i'm done #haven't gone off like this in the tags in awhile

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running-in-the-dark · 9 months

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I've just realised that when my mother dies, I'll be the oldest person in our family (as in, the people who are related to me who I'm in contact with/ever see at all). that's.... weird

#my sister-in-law is a few years older than me but she's also only in her thirties #and obviously not related to me #my dad's dead. my uncle's dead. my only grandma who I was close to is dead. we're not in contact with anyone else anymore.#the only other person I'd even know how to find is my cousin #that feels really weird. I'm not an adult. I'm completely clueless. I have no idea what I'm doing ever.#and still my mother only thinks about how hard it is for *her* that everyone her age has died... sorry but you don't think it might be hard #for us too? more than one person can be affected by that but sure you're the only one who is.#and her own mother died when my mother was 50! she had contact with all her extended family until then and she chose not to after that! so #she's the one who caused that but still we need to feel sorry for her.#anyway #maybe she'll live to be super old. that'd be typical... but it doesn't seem likely #idk. it's not like it'll make a difference. she's never helped me with anything so it'll be one less thing to deal with...#maybe I'll finally feel free then #or maybe it's too late for that #personal

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widevibratobitch · 10 months

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#vent post vent post lalalala #i wanted to post some pictures from my weekend trip with my friends before its too late but then i saw my fucking face and now i wanna kms #like oh my god. oh my god this is really truly the face im stuck with forever and ever and ever till the day im fuckin rotting in the groun #incredible how unfair life can be lmao (<- girl who is having such incredibly superficial stupid fucking problems but is otherwise #quite privileged but of course that will never be fucking enough for her because she's soooooo fckn stupid and selfish and annoyinggg lol)#i dont know why im so obsessed with it now #like i genuinely remember KNOWING that im kinda ugly (and fat) in high school and being like 'so what lol idc'#so WHY is it such an issue now?????#idk. i just kinda wish i was dead every time i look at my face and realise there's nothing i can do to change it #i can dress in ways that will cover my ugly ass shapeless body. maybe i can even go back to my ed properly this time #and lose some weight. for a time. before i gain back twice as much and the circle begins anew lol #but my face is not gonna change no matter what i do lmao unless i fucking scrape it off with a grater or smash my head into pieces #and like. even if i do get that rhinoplasty (its not gonna change my faceshape anyway. nothing i can do to fix THAT fuckin atrocity)#every time ill look in the mirror i will only be reminded that its fake. and that my natural face was disgusting enough it had to be cut up #to be fixed somewhat.#i just wish i had ONE. just ONE nice thing about my body. literally just one its not even funny lol #and its so fucked up when you look at my mom who was so insanely fucking beautiful when she was my age. like. i cant blame her #cause how could she have known that the genes she'll pass on will not result in anything good lol but also i feel like such a failure #like its not really my fault i got the genes i got. but yknow.#anyway im tired of always being the ugliest person in any group im hanging out with. my cousins? check. my hometown friends? check.#my uni friends? my GOD check (how ARE they all so pretty and skinny??? insane).#god i wish i were dead. like fr fr. im not actively suicidal since i cant bring myself to *do* shit anyway. but i just wish i never existed

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tidalpools · 10 months

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my mom isnt super disapproving of much but she doesnt like tattoos, facial piercings, cigarettes, or energy drinks and those are the exact things that ive been wanting more of with the help of my friends which is !! kinda funny 2 me

#its silly bc i like my mom and i care about her opinion a lot and when i was like you wouldnt hate me if i got snake bites right O^O #she was just like ugh -_-#me hiding the 3 monsters i buy @ work from her #cause its not like she'll do anything she'll just be disappointed adljsdfh;dskj #im doing better than most her kids with having a job AND going to school anyway so its all good

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smokedcapybara · 11 months

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Me, who literally just sweeps for a living: ah nice the weekend I can rest and hopefully engage in some hobbies

Mom, who spends all day almost every day at home just sitting on her phone: could you sweep the apartment?

#like #yeah sweeping used to bw my favorite chore #back when I was the one staying at home and mom was the one paying the bills #and I hadn't spent Months sweeping for several hours every weekday #im literallt struggling with my JOB cause ive started Hating sweeping #im reaching sweep burnout #on top of it making my chronic pain worse #she'll do like the bare minimum while me and my bro are working and then give us a list of chores to do on our days off #we're paying the bills we're paying for food we're paying for anything she buys herself on a fucking whim #i literally spent five hundred dollars on Her trip to a music festival last month #im SLEEPING IN A CLOSET so she can have a bedroom #LITERALLY #im so tired and im wearing thin #i havent written or seriously drawn in ages #i haven't watched my shows or read new books #i just wake up and try desperately to have enough energy to go to work and then i come home and lose myself for the rest of the day #weekends are torn between resting to have more energy next week so hopefully itll be better or using the time to do the rhings i love

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