#not everything will kill me

[hellenicdreaming]

One of the worst things i suffer with is health anxiety. Every now and then i will go down this huge rabbit hole of thinking that im dying. I find one thing wrong with my body and then im on google looking things up which i know never leads to anything good. The next thing i know i think im dying again.

This time around i fixated on my lymph nodes. The previous week before i had been watching a lady battle and lose her battle to cancer and i think that's what had triggered it. I started looking for anything that was out of place on my body and discovered when i turn my head to the side that one side i can feel a lymph node and the other I can't

For the past two days ive been fiddling and pushing on it too see if it moves or hurts and too see how big it is. its squishy and moveable but my brain still tells me its bad. I started to put other things to the lymph node. Like the fact i have anemia because i have really heavy periods and have done since i was 10. Or the fact on my leg currently i have this big purple bruise and i put those together and think im dying.

Also in the winter time my periods become more erratic because the lack of vit D my body gets and i put this down to cancer as well.

Seems silly writing it because realistically ive always had bad periods, they've always been regular til the winter and then they become more erratic because of the lack of vit D.

I dont take care of my body half as much as i should. Im overweight, i dont sleep right or eat right. Ill only address my anemia if it becomes a probelm.

I got sick in November with a virus that could have cause my lymph node to be bigger and my body is still recovering from that, not to mention i think im getting sick again.

And the bruise i slipped getting into the bath the other day and hit my leg.

I think from now on im gonna stay away from people dying online, and im not gonna google everything. I cant keep going the way i am its exhausting 😞

[doctormori]

the devil made me do it

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Like the majority of society I’m obsessed with Nimona

And I rewatched it a million times and one thing always sticks out to me 

There are moments when Ambrosius is surrounded by light like a little protective bubble 

That keeps him away from the man he loves more than anything 

[ambrosiagourmet]

I think one of the biggest tragedies of Laios & Falin and their relationship is how much his actions impact her life. But like. Specifically how much they WOULDN’T impact her life as much if they weren’t both stuck in such a shitty abusive situation.

This part of the Falin-tries-makeup daydream hour comic is what got me thinking about it again because truly it just... it seems like such a like an offhand comment that I'm sure Laios didn't mean to be cruel or anything. That's just like. A little kid not thinking about what they are saying. ESPECIALLY when the kid in question is Laios.

But man they depended on each other SO much as kids. Too much. It really feels like they didn't have any other source of positive reinforcement, or anyone else to share themselves with. So of course an offhand comment like that has a huge impact on Falin.

Or this little bit from one of the flashbacks:

This tears me apart. Do you think it tears him apart to think about? I think it does. I think Laios holds every small failure to care for Falin against himself.

And then there's the Bigger stuff. The way that him coping with his own trauma ended up impacting her.

Like his interest in monsters. Like him going to find a ghost, and accidentally revealing Falin's magic to the whole village in the process.

Like him needing to leave. And leaving her behind.

He shaped her life so much, and he carries so much guilt for it. And again, there should have been other people there to help. The same things that made Laios need to leave home are the things that made his leaving so hard on Falin. She ate alone after that. She shouldn't have had to eat alone just because Laios wasn't there.

She was 9 when he left for school, and he was 11.

Nine. And Laios feels like he failed her because he didn't stand by her through this better. As an eleven year old.

Both of these kids deserved so much better from the world.

[stil-lindigo]

the fox god.

a comic about a trickster.

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creative notes:

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[lotus-pear]

mourning black and the death of ideals

[acediscowlng]

honestly my favorite part about edwin he is 200% ready to play trauma olympics at any given time and he even seems to kinda relish the fact that he knows that he is not only gonna win but decimate literally everyone else in his wake

[accursedvoid]

Warrior Cat CrowdStrike has dealt a blow to the Clan of Microsoft today.

[newgroundstier]

idiot baby kill credit fight

[ewwww-what]

You are not a coward. You have a goddamn medical condition, alright?

[troyandabedsnewapartment]

YOU LIE AND I STAY, AGAIN AND AGAIN.

1. letters of sylvia plath | 2. i know im not the only one, sam smith | 3. cut, caitlyn siehl | 4. ask polly: help, im the loneliest person in the world!, heather havrilesky | 5. cool about it, boygenius | 6. driving east (2002), helen frankenthaler | 7. motion sickness, phoebe bridgers | 8. wishbone, richard siken | 9. bicho 87/9 (1987), gego | 10. gilded lily, cults

[jpg-of-dorian-slay]

love love LOVE jesper fahey so much, kaz rips out someone's eye and tosses them overboard and jesper's just like "would he do that for me?" not at all bothered, just wondering if kaz cares about him enough to kill a guy for him. a man with his priorities absolutely in order.

[heartorbit]

catch us if you can! ☆

[egophiliac]

:) hello! :D hope you have a nice day and absolutely do not think of the possibility of one of the last story cards being of silver! and that his groovy will very probably be crying!!! THERE'S SO MANY CRYING PEOPLE IN STORY CARDS LATELY!!! SPECIALLY LIGHT USERS!! I AM!!! SCARED!!!! bc so far we got Lilia and Sebek in the beginning book 7.... so at the end.... so we're missing story Silver... and Malleus is the one with less cards, so they might add one for him... but... the tears... ego.... THE TEARS!!!! EGOOOO!! (LOVE YOUR ART BTW EVERYTIME I GET A NOTIF FROM YOUR BLOG I RUN HERE TO SEE!)

(thank you! 💚💜💚)

YES I am ALSO like...90-95% convinced that we're going to be getting a story card for Silver once we wrap around back to diasomnia. 👀 especially because the way things are going, Silver will be the only character whose dream we haven't seen -- yet???? -- and that just. y'know. makes me wonder!

although I do think it would be VERY funny if he got a story card and the groovy was just "regular Silver except with one beautiful single crystal tear". this is actually a lot coming from him.

(he used up all his emotion yelling at a baby that one time, there's none left for a proper groovy-level cry.)

[nebulaeyedfish]

My Mother said I never should / play with faeries in the wood

Watched Gem's s9 the other day. Etho is washed up pass it on.

Tags: @imflyingfish @raise-me-up-take-me-up @swanofstorie

See pinned for commissions

[novakiart]

in honour of dp&w, here's an excerpt of a spideypool comic I was working on that accidentally got yeeted to the sun when I upgraded my ipad