#not getting any feedback is more damaging to me than a negative comment | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mykneeshurt · 2 years

Text

Let me show you I’m sorry

This was gonna be angst and fluff but I’m incapable. An idea I had, no clue if it’s good or not, I struggle to put what in my mind on paper sometimes. I also have a bit of an oral fixation if you notice that running theme 😂

Warnings - 18+ minors DNI. Vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, smut, some fluff, some angst (I think) mask kink - I don’t own the gif or any characters

Enjoy! Comments and feedback always welcome ❤️

Rain trickled down the side of your face as you kept a sharp eye on your target through your scope. You loved it when you were assigned night missions, the dull glow of the lights, how quiet and still the night air was. Except for tonight, the wind howled around you, rain lashed down upon you. Letting out a small sigh you radioed to your superior, Captain Price.

‘No use captain. Got him in my sights, but the wind is too strong. Can’t risk it. My intel says he’ll be staying here a while. Permission to abort?’ You hated having to abort missions, albeit this was few and far between. It always made you feel like a failure.

Your earpiece crackled to life, Price’s voice piercing the silence. ‘Permission granted kid, get to the evac site. ETA 10 minutes.’

A positive was that the evacuation site was close which is where you’d be picked up via boat. The negative was that you had to navigate a dense forest, in the dark, down a very steel hill. You had your night vision goggles but it was still a dangerous path to follow. ‘See you in 10 sir’ you replied.

Weaving in and out the trees the rain gradually became heavier, the ground became more and more slippery. ‘Fuck sake’ you groaned to yourself. The river was in sight, not too far so you picked up the pace while readjusting the rifle on your back. When you suddenly heard a shot ring out, before feeling a white hot pain radiating up your left leg. Collapsing to the floor you tried to stifle the groans of pain gurgling in your throat. You rolled into a near by thicket to assess the damage on your leg, the bullet went straight through. You ripped off your belt to make a tourniquet around your thigh to stop the bleeding. Luckily it hadn’t hit your femoral artery.

As you tried to take in your surroundings to try and make a run for the river you heard a branch snap behind you. Looking up you saw the familiar sight of a skull balaclava staring down at you. ‘Fuck! Ghost you scared the shit outta me!’ His piercing eyes stared back at you behind the skull mask he wore. ‘Move’ he growled as he pulled you to your feet. He bent down and lifted you over his shoulder with ease, his muscular arm wrapped around your waist to anchor you in place. He took off and headed towards the extraction point, small grunts exited his mouth as he ran down the hill.

Ghost shifting his grasp on your hips brought you out of your pain filled trance. He slowly released you, your body slid down his, you felt every crevice of his burly body. As you hit the floor, you winced, gritting your teeth. You used his shoulders to steady yourself, ‘alright?’ He asked. Ghost was taller, bigger and stronger than you. He was truly an intimidating presence. Pain still shooting down your leg, you looked up at Ghost and offered a small smile as a thank you. ‘Just a flesh wound, I’ll be fine. Let’s get the fuck outta here.’ His gaze softened ever so slightly before he helped you into the boat.

The boat ride back to base was tense, you could feel something off with Ghost. Examining your leg with your torch you finally saw the true extent of the wound. A straight through and through, thank god. The tourniquet had helped to slow the bleeding but it needed to be cauterised and stitched asap. ‘Fuck this hurts’ you grimaced. Without even turning to look at you he grunted ‘actions have consequences.’ You furrowed your brows, confused. You’d always been good friends with Ghost, you’d been in the team 2 years now. Why was he suddenly being off with you?

‘What the fuck?’ You replied. He shifted slightly on the bench, before turning around. His eyes cutting into you, ‘you didn’t check the surrounding area before comin’ down to the river. One of em saw you and followed, lucky they only got yah leg. If I hadn’t have found yah, fuck knows what would have happened. You got sloppy.’ Christ. You’ve had disagreements before but his tone … hurt. You felt like a child being told off by a parent. ‘Jesus Riley. I did check my surroundings but I didn’t see any one! The rain made it difficult to hear if I was being followed. But I’m alive ain I?’ He didn’t respond, spending the rest of the journey in silence.

Back at base the medic saw you and stitched you up. Will be tender for a while but nothing you couldn’t handle, you’d been shot before. A circular scar adorned your right shoulder from where you were shot previously. Hobbling into the sleeping quarters Soap and Price were discussing you last bit of intel on the target. ‘There she is! How’s the leg kid?’ Price greeted.

‘Sore but I’m fine sir. Can’t wait to take these boots off.’ You smiled. Soap came over to your cot for a closer look, the medic had cut down the side of your trousers exposing your toned muscular thighs. ‘Those thighs could crush skulls, you’ll be fine in no time’ Soap laughed. Rolling your eyes you swatted him away ‘yeah your fuckin skull if you carry on.’

Just as Soap was about to walk off you called him back ‘hey! Is Ghost ok? He was really off with me today, proper had a go at me for what happened.’ Soap offered a smirk in response ‘aye, cares about yah hen, gave him a bit of a fright I think. Didn’t think it would be pishin it down that hard.’ Sighing you led down on your cot and placed your forearm over your head ‘he’s such a moody prick sometimes. He’s not perfect either.’

‘He’ll calm down, don’t worry’ he smiled as he left the tent.

As you reminisced over the ordeal you’d just been through a shuffling noise caught your attention. Removing your arm you saw Ghost rummaging through his bag. Completely ignoring you. ‘So you’re ignoring me now too?’ You asked. Nothing. He didn’t even look up to acknowledge you’d said anything. ‘You’re a right prick sometimes Simon. You know that?’

His eyes flashed up at you, the mention of his name instantly got his back up. But he still said nothing, except for his eyes. His eyes said what he couldn’t find the words to say, and right now he was furious. If looks could kill, you’d be six feet under.

‘I don’t know why you’re so angry at me? I’m alive, our target will still be there and we haven’t been compromised.’ You said as you listed each point on your fingers. He gripped his bag, the fabric crunching under his gloved fingers. ‘You’re being unreasonable.’

He threw his bag in the floor making you jump. ‘Are you Fuckin’ jokin’?! Unreasonable?!’ He bellowed, he subconsciously made himself appear taller and intimidating.

Unsteadily, you got to your feet, you weren’t going to be intimidated by him. Of all people. ‘Fuckin’ say it Simon! You clearly got something to get off your chest’ you challenged crossing your arms. He stormed over to your cot, invading you space, your senses. He towered over you, but you refused to back down staring right back at him. His vacant expression was unnerving but you kept your cool. You could feel the rage radiating off him, the air in the tent was heavy and suffocating.

‘You fucked up massively today. Because you couldn’t be fucked to take the shot and do your job properly. And I had to come in and get you out. Don’t even know why they let you in the team.’ A sharp slapping sound rang out as your hand made contact with his masked face. ‘Fuck. You.’ You spat at him. ‘FUCK. YOU.’ You went to slap him again but he caught your wrist, ‘don’t’ he warned.

‘Or what Simon?’ You seethed, gritting your teeth. With his other hand he grabbed your jaw, and remained silent, his own visibly clenching beneath his mask. You shoved him off you ‘don’t touch me’ you said coldly. As you went to walk off he grabbed you again, this time by the back of your neck forcing you to look at him. You slammed both your hands into his chest repeatedly, trying to create space between you. But the bastard was sturdy, feet rooted to the ground.

Staring intensely at each other you felt the rage creep up your entire body. Your heart rate was rapidly increasing, muscles tense and chest becoming tight. ‘Get. Off.’ With a sharp jerk of your face you freed yourself from his grip. It took a lot to compose yourself, but you managed to limp out of the tent, leaving him behind.

——————-

A few weeks passed and you were back at base, you’d not spoken to each other since that night and the team had noticed. Soap had tried to speak to you about it a few times but you shut him down. You both shared a lot of furtive glances at each other, and the tension rose whenever you were in a room together. But that’s all it was, glances and tension.

One night you were sat on your bed, nose deep into a book when there was a knock at your door. Stretching you stood up and placed your book on your table, before rearranging your pyjama shorts. Unlocking your door you swung it open with a smile on your face, until you saw who was on the other side.

Your smile quickly faded upon seeing Ghost stood in the hallway. He was wearing a tan 3/4 length sleeve shirt, tight black jeans and his signature mask. The shirt sleeves teased a glimpse of his toned forearms, thick veins adorning them as well as his tattoo. His eyes fell to your muscular thighs before returning to your face. ‘Yes?’ You questioned, eye brow raised. ‘Can I have a word?’ His deep voice sent vibrations through your chest. ‘So now you wanna talk? Make it quick.’ You snapped.

He brushed past you as you held the door open, the smell of him invaded your senses. Shutting the door you stood with your arms crossed ‘well?’ He closed you in against the door and turned the lock. Looking up at him in disbelief you scoffed and tried to duck out of his way.

He closed the gap even further, you tried again to squirm beneath him, out of his reach. Instead he stopped you by sliding his knee between your legs. His knee hitting the door with a dull thud. ‘You can’t just fuck your way outta this Simon.’ He gripped your jaw forcing you to look right at him, he pulled his thumb over your chin. ‘Why not?’ Cocky prick.

You backed into the door further, fighting with yourself not to give in. You licked your lips as he gripped your chin. The heat from his thigh radiated against your cunt, making you clench. ‘Because you treated me like shit then ignored me for weeks. Just cause you can’t handle your emotions doesn’t mean you get to take it out on people. Sort your shit out Simon.’

He dragged his thumb down your lip as you finished your sentence, forcing you to swallow your rage. Your mouth involuntarily opened as he grazed his thumb across your lower teeth. You suddenly felt hot, how did he always manage to make you feel like this? It was infuriating, you desperately wanted to be mad at him. He slightly adjusted his knee, adding pressure to your already needy pussy.

Sliding his thumb into your mouth, you grazed your teeth against his skin, a moan dripping from his lips. He hissed through his mask and pulled your jaw open before stroking your tongue with his thumb. You ran your tongue along the bottom of his thumb, your tongue piercing catching him off guard. You didn’t wear it on missions much, this was the first time he saw it. His eyes glazed over with pure desire.

Closing your eyes you swallowed, hard, trying to regain any control over yourself. But that control disappeared as soon as he entered the room. The space between you became smaller still, your chest struggled to find air. He hovered above your lips as he lifted his mask, his strong stubbled jaw peeked out before his full pink lips. ‘Let me show you that I’m sorry’ his whispered into your mouth, ‘will you let me?’ The pressure between your thighs was indescribable.

Butterflies swarmed in your stomach as you lent forward to meet his lips. The kiss was messy and forceful as his tongue met with yours. He gripped your waist and pulled you into him, hitching your leg over his hip. Goosebumps adorned your skin as you melted into his touch. His strong hand had your muscular thigh in a vice like grip.

Cupping his face you pulled away from the kiss to catch your breath. ‘Fuck’ you whimpered, gasping for air. His free hand traced the top of your shorts before sliding into them. Feeling along your slit his eyebrows furrowed ‘fuck me … you’re so wet.’ Leaning your head back against the door, you bit your lip to muffle the moan that was begging to be released. Slowly dragging his finger against your hardened clit he nipped at your neck. Your one hand draped over his shoulder, the other clenching onto his tattooed forearm.

He inserted one finger, before carefully adding another, stretching you out slowly. He rhythmically pumped his fingers into your dripping cunt, before placing another firm kiss on your swollen lips. Strained moans fell from your mouth, wet sounds of your arousal filled the room. But you wanted more, you wanted him to fuck you up against the door.

Pulling his hand from your cunt you placed his fingers in your mouth before sucking your juices off him. ‘Christ … ‘ was all he managed to say. Smiling you ran your tongue across your teeth, ‘please fuck me Simon.’ Doing as he was told he undid his belt before lowering his trousers just enough to free his cock.

Still keeping your thigh over his hip he slowly pushed into you. His eyes rolled back as he let out a sharp breathy gasp. ‘Yes …. mmm fuck, that’s it’ you whispered. The stretch was delicious. He began moving, the tip of his cock hitting you in just the right place. Clawing at his firm shoulder for some stability you sunk your nails into his skin. The pace quickened, breaths of pure ecstasy leaving you both.

Your moans became louder, someone would surely hear you. He pressed his hand over your mouth ‘shhh …. That’s it, just like that’ he cooed ‘such a good girl.’ His praise only increased your pleasure, moaning into his hand, eyebrows clenched together. ‘You’re doing so well … mmm fuck … such … such a good fuckin’ girl.’ Your core began to tighten, as you begged beneath him. ‘Cum over my cock … that’s it, you can do it.’

Reaching down you rubbed your clit, the pressure was too much you needed to help yourself finish. ‘So fuckin’ beautiful’ he gasped. Taking in a large breath your moans got stuck in your throat as you came around him. Slamming your eyes shut your pussy clenched around him as you rode out your high. He removed his hand as you managed to speak ‘don’t stop, please … fuck … ‘

He kept his pace going, firm and steady, he pulled you closer to him as he gripped your hair from the root. His presence was all consuming, his firm chest pressed against you, small moans pricked your ears. ‘Cum in me Simon, please’ you stammered. He needed no more encouragement than that. Nearing his own orgasm he tensed before spilling himself inside of you, moaning into your shoulder. You nipped at his earlobe ‘feels so good.’

He pulled away but not before leaving a tender kiss on your lips. He pulled your shorts back up, as he did he placed a gentle kiss on the healing skin of your bullet wound. Looking up at you from his knees he held your waist ‘I’m sorry. For what I said that day. Thought I lost you.’ You pulled his mask back down and pulled him up to his feet. ‘I know Simon. But I’m here, and always will be. If you want me to be?’

‘I’d like that.’

#fan fic smut #ghost x you #simon ghost riley #smut #call of duty #ghost x reader

289 notes · View notes

yukidragon · 2 years

Note

Girl, help.

I actually saw with my own two eyeballs someone trying to say that "If you, a fanfic writer, find offense in a reader commenting 'Update plz' (and nothing else) then that is a YOU problem".

And they tried to defend it by saying that readers will get tired of waiting and will move onto something else?

I am FUMING.

I bet this person has never written a single thing in their entire life outside of assignments for school.

It's those sorts of comments that make me very disheartened, especially as someone who often winds up taking prolonged breaks from my writing due to various reasons, most of them health-related.

Content creators, whether they write, draw, or make any other type of art and share it online, are already painfully aware that, in a sense, we have to compete with the entirety of the internet at all times. It often pushes us to keep producing more and more and more to our own detriment, because we're made to feel like we "owe" our fans constant entertainment... and if we don't deliver, then we're a failure. It makes us feel like if we don't constantly perform, everything we worked hard for out of love will be rendered worthless, and we'll be left forgotten.

It's not wrong for a writer to feel a little offended if the only feedback they're getting for their work is just, "Update plz." The grand majority of us aren't getting paid for our work. Our "payment" comes in the form of positive comments letting us know that we're doing a good job and that our readers are engaged with the story. If all we get are demands for more from us and nothing else, it makes us feel as though we're only seen as machines that produce content and not people, just as disposable as any AI bot out there.

Invalidating a person's feelings can be so, so damaging. We're not machines; we're human.

I can understand why some readers make those comments though. So many readers simply don't know what to say. That's why so many people wish that they could give a story multiple kudos on AO3. Words can be difficult. Leaving comments, giving replies... It took me a long time to learn how to use those words effectively and be more talkative in public settings like these.

Maybe the person who wrote that comment about writers is someone who would respond, "Update plz," to stories in the past. Maybe they were feeling defensive upon learning that their past actions were taken as a negative thing. No one likes to feel like the bad guy, after all.

People who leave those sort of comments typically mean it in a positive way. They like the work and want to see more of it. It's a nice sentiment, but sometimes good intentions can cause damage if the execution is flawed. It's not wrong for writers to gently point out a better way to give feedback that doesn't make them feel so pressured to constantly perform for little in return.

Writing is hard. Art is hard. It takes countless hours to improve at it. I've been writing stories since I was 5 and I'm 41 now. My current skill level is due to thousands upon thousands of hours of writing and self-improvement. People who get to read the end product will never see all the work that goes into making my stories. To them, it appears into existence one day like magic. This can make the art seem easy, effortless. This is why way too many artists and writers undersell their work.

That's why I go out of my way to leave positive feedback as often as I can, and thank those who do the same for me in return. It means the world to me and it reminds me why I love sharing my work with the world.

I think the person who was making those comments about writers could benefit from taking a step back and really examining why those sorts of comments are taken negatively. Maybe with a little empathy and understanding, they could better understand why what they wrote was even more offensive than the, "Update plz," comments themselves.

#Ask #Just Writer Things #Warning: An Opinion

20 notes · View notes

indiaalphawhiskey · 4 years

Note

I respectfully disagree with your last post (as an author). I’ve been in this fandom for 6 years and noticed it’s a little bit toxic when it comes to certain issues that should be normal and obvious to anyone.

I don’t get the “I choose the people I want to take criticism from” part. Ok, so why posting your work on a public page for independent writers where every subscriber will be able to read it and comment on it? Just send it to the people whose opinion matters to you and have a discussion about your work with them. If you post your work on a public page made specifically for independent writers, you are automatically posting it for everyone on that site. And every person has opinions on things and feels invited to express it if that particular thing is public and comments are open (I’m talking about respectful opinions, not slurs and offending someone).

If it was only for you and the people you actually want to get feedback from then wouldn’t it be easier to create an “élite” group where you read your work and then discuss it together? Because your post sends a very negative and exclusionary message to people that are reading your work for the first time or without knowing you as an author. It really seems like you are saying “dear readers, your opinion doesn’t matter to me so unless it’s positive I don’t want to hear it because this fanfic was written for me and this list of people.” Then don’t post it. But why making people feel excluded or bad because they did something normal just because they didn’t know it wasn’t written “for them” as you said in your post. And constructive criticism is just an opinion too as long as it doesn’t contain vulgarities, you don’t have to listen to it. Other’s opinion shouldn’t change the way you feel about your work but you also shouldn’t make them feel uncomfortable and bad for expressing it in a respectful way on a public page.

I know that authors on AO3 aren’t paid and that’s just for fun, but that’s what every page like AO3 is about: putting your work out there for other people to read with the possibility to express their personal opinion in a respectful way (I mean, you CAN disable the comments). Why making it public and then complaining and making other people feel bad for expressing their opinion on it? It’s not a diary or a personal Instagram profile.

So, first off, thank you for saying you respectfully disagree with me. I appreciate that you’re trying to be polite.

There are many different ways I can answer this ask, because there’s a lot to discuss here, however, I’m exhausted by this conversation and have tackled it many times before, so I’ll link things when I see fit and get straight to the point.

My question for you is this: What is the purpose of you posting negative (even though well-worded, polite, and tactful) unsolicited comments on a person’s fanfic? Why do you do it?

That’s not a rhetorical question, I really want you to think about the answer, because, for something to be called “constructive criticism” (which is specifically what we’re discussing here, versus the opposite “destructive” criticism) there has to be a point beyond just the fact that “it’s a public forum” and therefore, you feel entitled to express your opinion, whatever it may be. (That reasoning, btw, is called entitlement. No one said you weren’t allowed to have an opinion, but if you’re saying it to the author with no constructive, bettering purpose behind it, then at worst, your intent is to hurt them, which is just mean, no matter how politely you word it, and at best, you’re saying your opinions and preference take precedent over the author’s own.)

There are three reasons that I assume one can have when posting constructive criticism on work/art:

1. You want to help make them be a better writer, both now and in the future.

I, and other fellow authors, explain why this doesn’t work here and here, and there are more posts about it like this one, if you need to hear it from voices that are not from the Larry fandom (which I assume you do, since you said this is a little bit toxic here particularly.)

I encourage you to read all those posts, to get a better explanation in context, but the gist of them is this: for something to be truly constructive (synonym: helpful), the source, the timing, and the tact is key. Let me demonstrate: There is a difference between telling a friend while shopping, “I wouldn’t buy that dress, it’s not the most flattering on you,” and saying, while you’re out at a club, “Oh, that dress isn’t the most flattering on you, I wouldn’t wear it again.” -- Both are honest, worded politely, and both will achieve the same outcome: she will not wear the dress again -- but only one of them will cause undue stress, embarrassment, and self-consciousness (under the guise of being helpful), and that is all due to tact and timing. At the store, she can change into something else, and won’t assume you think she looks awful the entire day while you’re out. At the club, the damage is done, there is nothing she can do to change it, and you’ve just ruined her night.

The same goes for writing. I have seen people gracefully and willingly rewrite their entire first drafts based on astute and even harsh comments on their work, by their betas. I have never seen someone take down a fic and edit it based on a piece of constructive criticism given by a stranger on AO3. What I have seen based on that scenario, is people taking that criticism to heart and reflecting on whether or not they ever want to write again, because when they made themselves vulnerable, some people looked at it as an opportunity to ask for what would cater best to their own tastes, instead of appreciating the work as a true product of the author’s personal feelings and experiences. That results in less writers for the fandom, less content, and a whole lot of undue discouragement which is not something we want (nor is it actually constructive).

2. You want to engage the author in a deeper discussion of their work.

This is in direct answer to this part of your ask:

It really seems like you are saying “dear readers, your opinion doesn’t matter to me so unless it’s positive I don’t want to hear it because this fanfic was written for me and this list of people.”

You feel passionate (both positively and negatively) about my work? That’s lovely. I say, start a discussion with me. Ask me questions. Learn why I made those decisions. A discussion starts with an invitation to have a conversation (two ways, you say something, I say something, rinse repeat). It doesn’t start with “I didn’t like” or “This could have been better if”, and it certainly doesn’t start in a public forum, like the comments on AO3, where the writer runs the risk of looking like a defensive asshole.

But India, you say, what if I don’t have the means to have a private conversation/the writer doesn’t have tumblr/they’ve long since been inactive in the fandom? The answers are, respectively: leave a polite comment asking if they’re willing to discuss, if they are willing to discuss, leave a polite comment asking how to contact them, and if they’re no longer active, find other friends with which to discuss your feelings in private.

But India, that seems like so much work. It is, flat out. But if you really felt that strongly about something I wrote, you would make that effort to understand it. Otherwise, why not just walk away?

3. You don’t know better.

I found this part of your ask extremely interesting:

“But why making people feel excluded or bad because they did something normal just because they didn’t know it wasn’t written “for them” as you said in your post.”

The reason I found it interesting is because it means that there are people who assume that all work that is public was made for them, to suit their tastes, which is, frankly, a bizarre way to consume art. I do not go into The Louvre, look at the Mona Lisa and say “I don’t see the hype, it’s not something I would hang in my living room.” I look at it and think “What does this piece say about Da Vinci and his life? What has this brought to the world? How has this helped people/art/culture?”

(No, I am in no way comparing my talents to Da Vinci, I am not delusional. But, I don’t think my work deserves any less thought than that of a professional artist, simply because I’m an amateur and it’s on the internet and not in a gallery, and you have the superpower of anonymity.) You asked me what the point was in posting my work publicly if I didn’t want to hear every single person’s personal (negative) take on it, and the answer is this: I post what I write publicly, because I hope it helps someone. I hope my thoughts, feelings, experiences, loneliness validate someone, entertain them, help them through a tough time, bring them comfort. I post because I want to invite people to lose themselves alongside me, heal alongside me, dream alongside me.

(Notice how I said “someone” and not “everyone”. How I said “someone” and not “an élite group that discusses my work”, because yes, I do hope that my work positively impacts someone outside of my betas, my friend group. Does that mean someone can leave negative comments on my work? Yes. But should they? That’s a different question.)

I know my work won’t be a positive experience for every single person, but my goal was never to be relevant to every single person. So, my question is, if I’m not relevant to you personally -- if my work doesn’t touch you personally, heal you personally, entertain you personally, why not just walk away and find something that does? Who does your negative opinion really help? How is it constructive? What is its purpose? Why do you do it?

I will apologize for this, though: I spoke on behalf of all writers, and maybe I shouldn’t have. Maybe I should have been clear that though many writers feel this way, not all do. There are some, such as, I assume, yourself, who do view negative comments on AO3 as constructive, whether or not they are solicited, and I’m sorry to have spoken on behalf of you. However, I do still stand by this, though: it is much better to be kind than be right, and that definitely goes for comments on fic.

#concrit #writing thoughts #constructive criticism #iaw ask #iaw anonymous #iaw opinion #long post

80 notes · View notes

alexzalben · 4 years

Note

What do you think of all the backlash the last Riverdale episode received? I’ve never seen the writers speak out like this before on all the hate.

This is a pretty complicated topic that I probably can’t do justice with one Tumblr ask, but I’ll try to address some of the broad strokes ideas here. And hang tight, because this is gonna go long.

First of all, a caveat: I have by no means read through every comment the writers were responding to, nor do I know what they discussed or how they’re feeling about things, nor do I speak for them in any way.

However, I do think one of the joys and downfalls of making TV in the social media era is the accessibility of the creative team to fans. Joys because it opens up new ways of understanding how a show is made, demystifying the process, which is always a good thing. Downfalls because to some fans - not all fans, by any means - it makes them feel like they have a say in what happens in the show.

On the latter, it’s not to say that the writers aren’t listening, on many series they’re well aware of what fans think about their show, the plots, the ships, etc. Sometimes they’ll even shift where they’re going based on fan feedback. Nikki and Paolo on Lost are the example I always go to, where they were introduced to show the outside perspective of what other survivors were doing while Jack and his gang were going on adventures... And everybody HATED THEM. So much so that plans changed and they were literally buried alive on the show by the end of the season, in a very unsubtle metaphor.

That said, there’s a difference between what I perceive to be the tone around Nikki and Paolo, which mind you was pre-Twitter days, and what some shows have to deal with now: one is constructive criticism presented as “hey we don’t like this”; the latter sometimes veers into “you suck and you should kill yourself.”

I want to emphasize again: this is not everyone. Usually there is a small section of any group of people that delves into hyper-negativity, and they always get an outsized focus to the number of people who actually do that. Again, example here, but for a while I was part of a pretty popular online sketch comedy group. We got tons of views, tons of comments, I’d estimate 95-99% of those comments were great. Did I internalize those? Of course not. I internalized the one comment out of 100 that told me what a shitty writer I was. That’s the one that rolled around in my head all night, because it seeped into the fear that most writers have that they do suck and will never be successful, at any level. It’s Imposter Syndrome, plain and simple, and it affects everyone no matter how famous (or not) they are.

Reason I mention that is it’s entirely possible that 99% of the comments to the writers of Riverdale this episode were mostly fine, but if 1% of them were of the “fucking kill yourself” variety, that hurts, a lot. It’s not on everyone, by any means, but that pulls the focus, and it’s horrifying every time no matter how often it happens (and believe me, it happens far too often).

Specifically with Riverdale, there are another few factors that are exacerbating this. One is, and I don’t want to diminish this: the pandemic. We’re a year in and people are crumbling mentally. Nothing has been “normal” for a year, that impacts every single aspect of your life, and some things are easier to lash out at than others, like a TV show. If a deadly virus is causing inconsistency? Not much you can do about that. If your fave TV show is shaking up the broadcast schedule and changing your favorite couples? Complain to the writers, the directors, the actors, etc.

The other is the arc of this season so far, which I do think is driving people fucking nuts. This again gets back to the pandemic, but ending with episode 19, waiting months, and then coming back for a premiere that is actually the third to the last episode of the season? That’s unsettling. It throws you off kilter, because it’s not the right rhythm. I know this sounds a little silly, but it’s actually very important: stories have a rhythm to them, and a lot of TV shows in particular have had that rhythm broken. Riverdale had three episodes that were all essentially climax, then upended the show with a time jump, and has continued to mix things around almost every episode. And then it’ll be going into another three month break.

This is definitely the point where someone says “mix things around? they’re doing the same couples they always did.” Sure, theoretical person. But having sifted through fan comments and tweets over the past couple of weeks, every single week one section of the fanbase has been 100% sure it is their ship’s time to shine, and the next they’re being told it’s done forever, and then the next they’re back on, then the next they’re done... It’s an emotional rollercoaster ride, and that’s how the writers designed it, and it’s frankly not over yet. But add in that pandemic uncertainty above, and you have a recipe for people panicking.

Also, and again, this is a small section of any fanbase, but it’s very clear that because of this hyped up panic, some people are being absolutely terrible assholes to other fans. I know I don’t usually curse this much, but the amount of gloating I’ve seen from people on all sides, back and forth, is super gross. Personally, if someone is sobbing for whatever reason, my reaction has never been to quote tweet them with “you lost, get over it” and a peace sign emoji. It sucks when people are sad, and we have a moral obligation to make sure other people feel okay. Don’t know if you’ve ever heard this one, but “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Sort of an important life rule.

Overall, I think a fanbase is stronger is they support each other rather than engaging in ship wars, and I do think there’s a lot of people who do do that. Or just express their displeasure, without attacking people. But there are some people who do, and that’s overall making the whole tone of the discussion that much worse.

So what’s the solution here? I always emphasize to my writers that it’s okay to have a negative take as long as you provide something constructive about a way out of the situation, and I’ll apply that both to the Riverdale fanbase, as well as this extremely long Tumblr ask.

There are three things I’d suggest, and both of them are on you. By “you” I mean the general you, and the reason I suggest them, versus what the writers and creators of Riverdale can do is that “you” are the thing you can control and change.

The first is changing the tone of the discussion. Realize that there are people deeply, emotionally impacted in different ways by this TV show. Allow that they may be having different emotional reactions than you, and give them the space and the support to work through it. If you’re a Varchie fan, it actually makes you a better fan to check on a Barchie fan and see if they’re okay. If you’re a Barchie fan, it’s okay to be happy for a Varchie fan and sad at the same time. Mainly because none of you had anything to do with it. This isn’t even a case where you wore your lucky socks and your fave team won the game. The writers are writing what they wrote, and you are a passive observer, not involved other than the involvement you bring to it. So if everyone supports each other regardless of the circumstances, that will improve things overall.

The second? Disengage. Take a break. Stop watching the show. You have no obligation to tweet, or go on any other social media outlet for this series, nor do you have to keep watching the show if it hurts you. In fact, taking a show break if you feel too involved is a very good thing. Check out, clear your head and come back much later and look at it with fresh eyes.

Third? Think before you comment. It took me a long time to get here with this one, and I’m still working on it, but before you comment: pause, read it over again, and think “is this something I really want to send?” You do get that rush of taking whatever anger you’re feeling and getting it out of your body and mind, but ultimately it’s usually more damaging than either waiting, posting something a little more thoughtful, or not posting at all. It’s really thinking about what you’re adding to the conversation, and what you’re hoping to get back.

So there you go. Lots of thoughts there, and I’m sure there’s lots more to say. This is only my outside perspective on this, and I hope it’s helpful at least in some small way. And if not, that is cool, too!

#Riverdale

30 notes · View notes

tickotaku · 4 years

Text

Head cannons for Chuuya, Fyodor, and Tetcho in a relationship with an S/O.

Hello Anon! Thank you for waiting! This is my first time really writing and posting head-cannons, so they may not be exceptional. I ended making it pretty gender-neutral, and it doesn’t really have an intentional structure. Regardless, I hope you enjoy them!

I’ve been sitting on the idea of writing on Tumblr for a while, so any feedback (positive or negative) is greatly appreciated. If you liked something or thought I could have done something differently. Even pointing out grammatical or punctuation errors can help me grow as a writer. (And I definitely have room to grow) Anyway, if you have any thoughts or tips at all, leave a comment or let me know somehow.

Now that that’s said, enjoy! (Warning; Possible manga spoilers(?))

Chuuya Nakahara:

It takes a while for Chuuya to even consider being in a romantic relationship.

He has a lot of responsibilities as it is, and having an S/O may damage his reputation and make him look soft.

However, once he falls in love, he couldn’t care less about reputation. He can still be a ruthless mafioso while protecting his lover.

If his S/o confesses first, he’d be stunned for a minute. Once he’s processed the info, he’ll be sweet as heck about accepting their feelings.

If Chuuya confesses first, it’ll be like a grand proposal. We’re talking roses, music in the background, and a romantic poem.

Chuuya will protect his S/O no matter what and make sure they feel loved.

He’ll try not to go overboard with presents, but to him, his lover deserves the world. He’ll frequently leave notes of encouragement, baked treats, and little things. Holidays or occasions however, will have extravagant gifts. Jewelry, limited edition merchandise from their favorite series, a private island, etc. etc. He’s filthy rich, why not?

If his S/O isn’t already in the mafia, it’s going to stay that way. He wants then in as little danger as possible. He knows they can take care of themselves, but he is not taking any chances.

He loves pet names.

If he gets flustered, he’ll push his hat down on his lovers head so the brim covers their eyes. Once he recovers he won’t shut up about how cute they look in his hat.

Call him short, just try. It doesn’t matter how tall his S/O is. If they joke about his height, next thing they know, they’ll be on the ground under him with him smirking down at them.

And then he’ll kiss them as revenge.

His kisses are often quick pecs, but once he can get a break and slow down, they’re long, soft, and loving.

If his S/O is ever stressed or overwhelmed, he’ll sit them down on the couch and just hold them.

Once he gets them to open up about whatever they’re feeling, he’ll just rub their back and listen. Once they’re done, he’ll encourage them and try to offer solutions.

Late night rides on his motorcycle can be the perfect stress reliever. He’ll zoom and jump to see if he can get his S/O to laugh to squeak. Bonus points if they grip his waist.

He rarely smokes once he’s in a relationship. He prefers spending time with his lover to calm him down.

He can be a bit hot-headed during an argument, but if he goes too far, he stops immediately. Even if he still thinks he’s right, they’re more important. He’ll revisit the topic later once both sides are calmer.

He loves dancing with his S/O under the stars. He’ll activate his ability and hold his lover close as they dance among the stars.

Fyodor Dostoevsky:

Falling in love wasn’t exactly something Fyodor had planned on ever doing.

Even once he enters a relationship, that’s not exactly how he sees it. He was simply intrigued and wanted them, so he went after what he wanted.

He’s not exactly an honest boyfriend, but he tries not to outright lie to his S/O. That doesn’t mean he won’t, he just usually tries to change the topic or twist the truth.

He doesn’t really try to hide who he is from his S/O, but he won’t give them much say in what he does anyway.

He keeps a few tabs on his S/O, but other than that, he lets them do as they please. As long as he gets to be around them and know what they’re doing.

He won’t ask them to get involved in his work, but if they show interest, he’ll give them mini missions to take care of.

He enjoys playing games with his lover, especially cards. He’s always amused at how determined they are to win, only to be utterly defeated. On occasion, he’ll let them win just to see their eyes shine as they gloat about their “victory”

If he’s in a bad mood, he’ll tend to push his lover away. Although, he won’t stop them if they hug him or want to spend time with him. Because he actually appreciates it

He’ll pretend that he forgot his S/O’s birthday. He keeps a completely straight face as he sees them look over at him repeatedly out of the corner of his eye. He eventually pulls some clever trick to reveal a present, and soaks in the way his lover goes from gloom to delight over something he sees as a trivial thing.

But he loves them, and that’s not trivial to him. Although he rarely says it right out.

He rarely kisses his lover, but it’s all made up for when he does. Because it’s the only time he really shows any kind of vulnerability, and they’re so genuine it’s more telling of his love than any words could convey.

Fyodor may not actually say “I love you” until he and his lover have been together for a long time, but if his S/O really listens, the message gets through.

Tetchō Suehiro:

Tetcho is a bit odd so there may be a few bumps here and there when it comes to a relationship at first.

Early on, he doesn’t really treat his S/O much different than he treats anyone else.

He’s takes his job seriously and can seem cold and distant due to his generally stoic nature.

But a bit of communication can do wonders.

Once he gets a firm grasp the concept of “dating”, he’ll grow to be more affectionate.

PDA doesn’t really bother him, and as long as his S/O has no complaints, he’ll be as affectionate as he wants in public.

He likes to hold his lover’s hand and keep them close to him.

He’ll often stop and just study his S/O

How they walk or smile, the little tells they have, any nervous habits, Tetcho could just sit and watch them for hours. He’s not trying to be creepy, he just loves everything about them.

The first time he kisses his S/O is sudden and casual.

He thinks they look so adorable and feels so grateful that they’re with him, so he leans over and kisses them gently.

His S/O may be shocked, but he just continues on as if nothing happened.

He’s very blunt and straight forward, so he doesn’t lie to his S/O.

It can be strange how he speaks his mind without hesitation. But if he thinks his S/O looks good in something, or if he randomly remembers how much he loves them, he’ll say it right then with no context.

He takes things very seriously, so sometimes his S/O will have to be careful what they wish for. He does listen though, so if they’re just honest with him and try to get things across, he’ll get it.

If they’re talking, he’s listening.

Although he may stop to train or exercise, he’s still listening.

Speaking of exercise, he will in fact, use his S/O as a lifting weight. So long as they aren’t freaked out by it.

If his lover is lounging somewhere, he’ll just pick them up.

He’s always touched by how his S/O worries about him every month when his surgery comes around.

But he assures them its fine and will always let them know when it’s over so they can relax.

He may try to convince his lover to eat similar-colored foods, but if they don’t want to he doesn’t mind.

He’ll try not to gross them out with his food, but he still likes his food how he likes it.

#BSD #Bungou Stray Dogs #bsd headcannons #My writing #Tetcho Suehiro #Chuuya Nakahara #Fyodor Dostoyevsky #Writing request #feedback appreciated #Looking at you writer friends #Y'all better point out something I could improve on or I'm gonna be upset #That's mostly a joke #I feel like these are awful but oh well

84 notes · View notes

nightswithkookmin · 4 years

Text

BIGHIT vs BTS SHIPS The Difference Between Jikook and Taekook

I think I have explained the commercial value of ships when it comes to content marketing in one of my previous posts. But allow me to use this opportunity to address it in depth.

Bighit did not invent shipping. Shipping predates Kpop and plays a vital role in spiking interest, relevancy and longevity of that interest in a piece of marketed content. It sustains Audience Retention rates and improves engagement rates significantly. It is a powerful marketing tool when used right but I'm not going to get into all that in this post.

Fact is BigHit does benefit from shipping culture because it is one way they keep the audience engaged with BTS content even when they aren't putting out new content for the market to consume. BTS ships serve the same purpose as all the Run, Soop, Bon voyage and myriads of sub content they put out. You may not watch Run every day, but if you are a shipper you will like a ship post at least once a day.

Shipping is organic and costs nothing unlike most other marketing strategies available to the marketer. TV programs such as Harry Potter (Dont lie. I know you shipped Hermoine and Harry. I did too. *tears) Star wars, Friends, Supernatural, Vampire Diaries, Shadow Hunter to name a few have all benefited from shipping culture significantly.

Can BigHit do without ships? Absolutely. They would be a fool to though. Shipping is just one of the many resource options available to a marketer. It bridges the gap in between formal contents and keep interest in a brand going.

I smirk when some people dismiss shipping, look down on shippers or make ignorant and ill informed comments about shipping culture in general. Audience retention and engagement is king in today's economy and BigHit taps into this resource very well.

All BTS ships are thus relevant and valid. All of them. Unfortunately, this is a numbers games. Numbers play a key role in the commercial value of a ship. And it is a fact universally acknowledged that Taekook and Jikook are ships with the most number of fans and as such provides higher engagement rates within a marketing context.

Taekook is the biggest ship not just in BTS but in Kpop. It is followed closely by Jikook. Does that mean all the ships are nothing but shallow interactions engineered to keep us tethered to BTS for as and when they are ready to sell a product to us? NO.

I don't see BigHit actively curating these ships and masterminding them.

What I mean is, I don't think BigHit is asking the members to interact or even forcing them to interact- except in recent moments but that is another topic for another day.

BTS interact with eachother from their own free will. Of course no two interactions are going to be the same as no two relationships are the same. We cannot compare Taegi to Jikook or Taekook to Jikook or even to VMin because the friendship between Jimin and V is not the same as between V and Jin etc.

No one is forcing Jungkook to interact with Jimin. No one is forcing Tae not to interact with JK. It's absurd to think in such a way.

They all interact with eachother and provide that content for BigHit's use. All BigHit does is decide when to show us that content as and if they want to show it to us at all. They are a business and all these ships are just marketing resources and so they will show us a ship's content in a way that advances their business marketing strategy.

However, if two people within a ship barely interact or do not interact at all with eachother then there wouldn't be any content on them for BigHit to promote or use in their marketing campaigns to begin with.

What I'm saying is, if Taekook sells- as in if there are a lot of people interested in seeing their content(which there are) and those two individuals actually have moments together on or off camera, then in their estimation BigHit will market that content to us. If Jikook sells they will sell it to us; as long as none of these ships are damaging to the reputation and business of BigHit.

[CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC BELOW- Proceed with caution.]

A ships value to BigHit, in my opinion, is contingent on its commercial value as discussed above but if that ship causes BigHit to lose money rather than gain, if a ship negatively affects the business or reputation of BigHit then that ship is as good as dead. They will kick that ship off the spotlight real fast.

Taekook and Jikook have both had moments like this where they are temporarily taken off the spotlight or even asked to tone things down. We've all seen it don't argue with me.

Not everything BigHit does is about these ships. BigHit is a brand in of its own. They have several other brands under their brand and they can't afford to ruin their brand image or any of their artists.

They will not hesitate to shut down a ship if it is doing more harm than good. They did it to Taekook when that ship was in it's hay days. As soon as they started recieving a ton of negative press that is when they started getting 'seperated' -on stage anyway. I don't think they were seperated or asked not to interact off camera. Clearly they do. They are friends after all.

BigHit does the same thing to Jikook whenever they start recieving negative attention. But we see them interacting backstage nevertheless and usually this happens at the same event they get 'separated at.'

It's nothing personal, just business.

[Controversial content ahead. Proceed with caution]

At this point, I know you would be asking why Taekook seemed to have dimmed as a ship where BigHit is concerned but Jikook recieve the same negative press and yet they still market Jikook and shine more light on it....

A Taekooker friend whom I had this discussion with pointed out to me that it seems whenever Jikook receives a ton of negative press BigHit claps back with more Jikook content and in an aggressive way yet has it being Taekook we wouldn't get any content outside official content for a whole year.

To be fair, BigHit treats all ships equally in my opinion. Jikook gets penalized for certain moments just as much as Taekook or any ship gets punished. Example, after the New Jersey VLive Jikook were banned(allegedly) from doing a Vlive on their own for a whole year and after the ban was lifted their VLive was monitored the same way Taekook's Vlive was monitored.

Secondly, perhaps they keep pushing Jikook content because that is all they have? Perhaps, they have more Jikook content than Taekook?

Jikook spend so much time around each other and they don't mind their interactions being filmed as content. Not because they are doing fan service but more so because they are lowkey exhibitionists or exhibit exhibitionist tendencies. Lol. More on that later.

When it comes to Taekook; Tae have said once that JK avoids him off camera which I assume by that he meant Jk doesn't interact with him much off camera. Now it could also be that Jk was not on good terms with him during that particular period which is normal because friends fight.

Jk have also said him and Tae's relationship is not for the cameras and I assume by that he meant they are both are not comfortable providing content for Bighit to use as marketing because as I said all these ship interactions are by their own free will. Bighit can't force Taekook to interact and if Taekook hasn't given them permission to air certain moments they just can't.

Or... or....

The reason BigHit pushes back with more Jikook content even after negative press is because Jikook is real. DEADASS.

Hear me out. Calling Taekook out for promoting Homosexuality in S.K will be deemed negative press if Taekook are not gay or in an actual romantic relationship. Calling Jikook out for promoting homosexuality will not be deemed as negative press but an abuse if Jikook are in fact gay and in a gay relationship with eachother.

BigHit is not homophobic. Bang PD is known for his openly support for members of the LGBTQ plus community. If people hate on Jikook because of their moment he will sympathize with them and shove that in your face.

While Taekook negative press will be a nuance, Jikook negative press will be revolution and BigHit will make a statement: a statement that says they stand with LGBTQ plus community PERIOD.

They will do this not for money but for the boys so they feel loved and supported. So Jikook knows they are not in this fight alone especially coming from a highly homophobic society as S.K.

The thing about Jikook is, Jikook is real. That alone gives BigHit a competitive advantage in the Industry. It means Jikook produce more content for BigHit over any other pair and that content is juicy. It's similar to how companies want exclusive access to certain power couples in the industry. If Jikook are real and BigHit have access to them, exclusive access mind you, then that places BigHit above the competition business wise.

Think of Jikook and BigHit as the Kardashians and Entertainment company behind them. Jikook has given BigHit partial access to their private lives extending beyond the access they have over BTS.

If Taekook or any ship give similar access to them we will see more of them. If they give BigHit content we will see more of them. It's as simple as that.

Jikook is a brand and BigHit is their brand manager. This means BigHit gets more content from Jikook and is at liberty to use that content any how they want and milk the shit out of it. In return, BigHit has a duty to protect Jikook and so no. When Jikook gets negative press due to homophobia BigHit is not going to cancel them.

May be chill on them for a while, because that exposure they give Jikook can be traumatizing for Jikook especially if the feedback is negative.

What I'm saying is, where Taekook would be asked to chill and lay low from public scrutiny it will be because BigHit wants to protect their business interest whereas in Jikook's case it would be to protect Jikook themselves. If Taekook are both gay and in a relationship with each other BigHit would do same for them.

I don't think BigHits marketing tactics however affects the status of Jikook, Taekook or any other ship's relationship in any way. Jikook is real whether it is made the center of attention or not. Taekook could be real regardless of whether they are marketed or not. Just because a certain ship is put under the spotlight doesn't mean that ship is 'real' neither does that negate the genuine friendship that exists between members of other ships.

It is weird to me when people associate BigHits business tactics to the validity of their ship. There is no correlation. BigHit is a business, BTS are their artists that make them money- all BTS not just two members from a ship. BTS is one of the most powerful brands in the world right now.

BigHit will explore and exploit all the relationships within the group, platonic or otherwise, if that will help them sell more albums or even Icecream.

Jikook gives BigHit a competitive advantage more so than any other ship in BTS not just because they are the second largest ship in South Korea but because Jikook are shaping out to be a power couple and Icons for the LGBTQ community. There is a reason why companies rush to support Pride month parades. I'll leave it there.

So no, I don't see it as BigHit highlighting the ship of the era as you put it or alternating between Jikook and Taekook as and when. BigHit has a business to run, shipping plays a vital role in its business marketing strategy but not everything is about these ships.

The members have a role to play in creating content for these ships and Bighit won't hesitate to market it if the content is quality entertainment, consensual and plays to their overall marketing scheme.

This means if Jikook ship content are boring they will choose to show a much entertaining ship content over them. Nothing personal.

I just think they treat Jikook differently because as much as they want to pander to our delusional shipping interests, they owe Jikook a duty to protect them from homophobic people. When you hate on any ship in BTS, BigHit assumes you are nuts but when you hate on Jikook BigHit will immediately assume you are both nuts and homophobic.

Promoting Jikook is business but it is also validation and acceptance and support. Bighit has a proclivity for sensitizing us to Jikook and normalizing their relationship.

If Taekook are also in a gay relationship they will be treated the same and I will support them the same. But to me, I believe Jikook are real and therefore Taekook and Jikook are mutually exclusive. Both cannot be real at the same time.

Ship whatever you want but support Jikook and stan all seven.

Signed,

GOLDY

159 notes · View notes

rosesgonerogue · 5 years

Text

Let the Sunshine In - Prologue

It’s here! This is the prologue of the Jasonette fic I’ve been promising to celebrate my 100+ followers. I’m going to apologize in advance, this particular section is kind of angsty. I recently watched Under the Red Hood, and I’m in the middle of Violet Evergarden and I HAVE EMOTIONS.

***********************

Ladybug collapsed in an empty alleyway, her entire body screaming from the latest akuma attack. She desperately wanted to cry, but she couldn’t give Hawkmoth any reason to try to akumatize her. Besides, in this state, she might just agree to his demands.

She still had a few minutes before she transformed back, and in desperation, she flipped open her yo-yo. “I know the Justice League told me to stop ‘prank calling,’ but… I just need to feel like someone cares about this city. Please find me one person who is willing to help.”

Jason should have been at school, but after getting in a fight he’d made the executive decision that he was taking the rest of the day off. He knew Alfred was planning on cleaning the mansion that day, so he found himself loitering around the Batcave when a call came in.

He was already in costume for… training, so Jason just had to slap on his Robin mask before answering. “Hello?”

On the screen was the most beautiful girl that Jason had ever seen. She looked around his age, wearing a red-spotted suit and a matching domino mask. However, her mask didn’t obscure the clearest blue eyes that Jason had ever seen. They were entrancing, but also a bit broken, like him. She had seen too much, done too much.

“Hello?” she said in heavily accented English. “Who is this?”

“You’re calling a super-secure super computer, sweetcheeks. I believe that’s my line,” Robin said with an impish grin.

He immediately regretted his statement when the girl looked close to crying. “I-I’m Ladybug, one of Paris’s heroes.”

“But Paris doesn’t have--”

“Obviously we do have heroes,” the girl--Ladybug--snapped. “I’m not just a child pretending like the Justice League accused me of. Our heroes are real, and our villain is very real. Hawkmoth is getting better and more dangerous as time goes by. I don’t know how much more our city can handle.”

Jason straightened, somehow already sold on this girl’s story. “Do you have any photographs or footage of any of the events? I can talk to Batman about it--or at the very least irritate him until he listens.”

Ladybug’s eyes widened, a glimmer of hope lighting up her face. “Batman? That means you’re--”

She was cut off by a beeping noise that made her curse softly under her breath. “I have to go, but I’ll call again. Thank you for listening, Robin.”

“I’ll do what research I can, Ladybug. We’ll help you out,” Jason promised earnestly.

Marinette smiled, the first genuine smile she’d had for days, possibly longer. Probably since she had become the Guardian of the Miracle Box. “You really don’t know how much I needed someone to care, Robin. Thank you. Bug out.”

From then on, Ladybug fought with the knowledge and hope that people could and did care about her city. She called Robin on and off to plan how to convince the League that the situation in Paris was very real. He was brilliant, although it was obvious that everyone could see it except Robin himself. They even got to the point that Marinette would call them friends. There were a lot of things she couldn’t tell him and he couldn’t tell her, but they learned to ease one another’s burdens in whatever ways they could. Robin made her feel like Marinette could handle being the Guardian, and Ladybug made Jason feel like he was more than a street kid who couldn’t fill Dick Grayson’s shoes.

Things seemed to be looking up for Marinette on all accounts--schoolwork seemed easier, she had just the perfect number of commissions, and Lila had at least temporarily directed her attention elsewhere.

They had set aside a time to plan every week, but one week Jason didn’t answer right away. Marinette didn’t think anything of it at first, he was probably busy. But when she tried again, it wasn't Robin that answered, but Batman.

“How did you get this channel?” he demanded in a voice gruffer than Marinette thought was possible for a human being to produce. “Who are you?”

“L-Ladybug. I’m Ladybug, sir, and I was calling for Robin.”

At these words, the man’s face distorted into the embodiment of distrust and rage. “You think this is funny? Because I will--”

“What’s wrong?” Marinette asked, dread curdling in her stomach. “Did something happen to Robin?”

She couldn’t see his eyes from behind the cowl, but Marinette knew Batman was glaring at her, the singularly most terrifying moment of her life. “Robin is dead, because that’s what happens when children try to play hero. Leave that kind of thing to the adults, little girl, unless you want to end up the same way.”

Robin is dead.

Those three words pounded through Marinette’s head like an inescapable drumbeat. At some point the yo-yo had fallen out of her hand, and Batman had hung up with the strict instructions never to call again.

The world felt fuzzy, not quite real to Marinette. In an unexpected moment of clarity, though, Marinette realized: strong emotions were coming. She knew she wouldn’t be able to deny Hawkmoth, not with the fresh grief coursing through her. Right now, even if it was just a short time, she needed to be able to feel.

Marinette swung herself through Paris’s streets faster than ever before, launching herself at her balcony with desperation. Her transformation timed out just as she landed, making it easier to slip on Kaalki’s glasses.

She had transformed with Kaalki once or twice before, and for some reason this kwami always made her feel a bit antsy. The second that the transformation settled, Marinette opened up a portal to the first place in her mind that was both out of Hawkmoth’s range, and secluded enough that she wouldn’t have to worry about being seen or heard.

It was too much, losing Master Fu and then Robin. They had been the only things keeping Marinette sane and grounded, and she couldn’t talk about them with anyone else. That combined with the pressure of being Ladybug made Marinette feel like she was going to explode. So she screamed, she screamed until her voice broke, dissolving into pathetic sobbing as she collapsed in on herself on the forest floor.

One by one, the kwamis emerged and surrounded her, concerned.

Tikki was the first to speak. “Are you alright, Marinette?”

“How did he die?”

The kwamis traded uneasy glances. “What?”

“Robin. Can you tell me how he died?” Marinette asked, clutching her knees to her chest. “I just… I need to know.”

“Marinette, I don’t think--”

“She deserves to know,” Wayzz said, interrupting Tikki. “Marinette is no child. SHe’s already had Master Fu taken from her, but she can’t grieve with anyone. She can’t even speak to anyone about it but us. She needs this closure, even if it’s heavy to bear.”

Tikki reluctantly agreed. “This would be easier if Plagg were here, but we can probably show you an approximation of what happened to the boy.”

The kwamis present circled around her, a soft magic glow spreading across all of them. A series of images flashed through her mind, each worse than the last: the glint of a raised crowbar, a pale face with a maniacal grin, blood spattered across grimy floorboards… The worst of all, however, was the image of Robin’s face as the bomb counted down to zero, the hopelessness that came from knowing that no one would come to save him.

Logically there had been no way for Marinette to know that any of this was happening, but she knew she would never be able to forgive herself. One of her only allies in the entire world had died scared and alone, and there was no excuse for that.

She allowed herself to cry for a while longer, the torrent of emotions too much. But alas, negative emotions, and often emotions in general were a luxury that Marinette Dupain-Cheng could not afford. When her tears ran out, Marinette simply straightened up, fed Kaalki a sugar cube, and went back to Paris.

From that day on, Marinette never spoke of Master Fu or Robin again, even to the kwami. She locked them deep in her heart where they could stay until Hawkmoth had been dealt with. As both Marinette and Ladybug, she devoted herself to ensuring that no one would ever feel as alone and afraid as Robin had.

Ladybug was stronger, better at her job than before while Marinette was kinder, more helpful, and more generous than ever. To some it seemed like it was the same as always, but those that really knew her had noticed: her smile was never the same. It was… damaged, somehow, something like seeing the outline of the sun through a veil of clouds.

**********************

This fic is NOT going to be like this most of the time, I swear. I have a good friend that I swap story ideas with named Kit, and we have a lot of fluffy nonsense ahead, with the occaisional splashes of angst. This is actually going to take place a few years in the future, when Marinette is starting college. Just as an FYI, I write fanfiction because it’s fun, but also because it gives me a medium to get feedback and improve my writing. Let me know what you guys think, and if you have any questions or suggestions. This is a side blog, so just know that when I reply in the comments, it’s under the username rogueptoridactyl. Just let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, and hopefully you guys like it!

Taglist: @slytherinsheashire @cravethosecrazysquares @krispydefendorpolice @thesunanditsangel @sonif50 @kris-pines04 @persephonebutkore @tbehartoo @corabeth11 @caffeinetheory @drarryismylife101 @bluerosette23 @weird-pale-blonde-person @mystery-5-5 @heaven428 @thethirdwheelfriend @thetinymoonflower @interobanginyourmom @chocolate1721 @akana-sama @skyel0ve @katiegardneriscoolerthanyou

#maribat #jasonette #jason x marinette

823 notes · View notes

aqua-murphys-law · 4 years

Text

i can feel it falling (timber)

Rating: G Warnings: None Summary: A look at what inspired Milo not to give up on the possibility of Zack becoming his friend, the day they first met.

A/N: When I fell back into the Dwampyverse fandom, I foolishly said that I didn’t know if I was gonna write anything for MML. I really should’ve known better. So here’s a little something inspired by @wiz-witch‘s post here!

I wish I’d had it done in time for MML’s 4th anniversary but such is life. Reblogs/comments would be greatly appreciated, and a good response will let me know whether I should write the other one-shot ideas I’ve got. Hope you enjoy! - Aqua

(Click here to read on A03 for extensive tags!)

~*~

Milo approaches the bus stop with a bounce in his step.

It’s been a relatively light morning so far. There was just one bird nesting in his hair when he woke up, and it relocated to the backyard without much fuss. He got through both of his showers without slipping, getting soap in his eyes, or breaking the water system (the second shower was because the garbage disposal spewed breakfast scraps back up at him, but still, that could’ve been worse).

He even gets to the bus stop before Melissa, only a few boys from school present. It takes a couple seconds before he hears shoes scuffling away from him, which isn’t surprising. It’s very rare for him to actually end up on the bus, but when he does, it makes for an… eventful ride. He can’t fault them for being cautious, since it’s looking more and more like it might actually be one of those days-

“What’s that all about?”

That’s an unfamiliar voice.

Milo turns to the speaker. It’s a boy around his age, dark-skinned with frizzy black hair. He’s dressed simply in a yellow shirt and jeans, a red backpack at his sneakers. He’s looking at Milo with confusion, and something akin to concern.

“Oh, you’re new here,” Milo realizes. It’s strange for someone to transfer schools after the start of the semester, but stranger things have happened. He sighs good-naturedly, going on to explain, “I’ve got a bit of a reputation.”

The boy blinks before amusement tugs at his mouth, and he quirks a brow. “So what are you, a tough guy?”

That might be teasing, Milo’s not sure. “Oh, I don’t think anyone’s ever called me tough,” he says. And this is really pressing his luck, but he can’t help being polite and offers his hand. “I’m Milo.”

The boy actually takes Milo’s hand, and smiles when he does it. “I’m Zack.”

Of course, the other boys at the stop immediately urge Zack against it, but Milo isn’t fully paying attention. He instantly commits Zack’s name to memory because if there’s one thing he’s learned, it’s that knowing his classmates’ names helps soften the blow when he accidentally lands them in the hospital for the first time.

Despite the warning, Zack doesn’t let go right away. His hand is warm, and a little bigger than Milo’s. Mostly softer than Milo’s too, but unexpectedly calloused in telltale places, like he plays a guitar of some sort. That’s interesting.

“So what exactly is this reputation?” Zack asks, seeming more curious than concerned now.

Milo tilts his head. “Well, people have used the J-word, but you know what they say. Sticks and stones can damage your vital organs, so always wear body armor.”

The original meaning of the phrase is still implied. As a Murphy, harsh words are extremely low on his list of things to worry about. At least, that’s how he tries to keep it. It’s not that words don’t affect him at all, he just has steps he takes to prepare himself for them, like he would for any other unpleasant event. Just as he wears body armor to protect against physical harm, he protects his feelings under his carefully crafted demeanor.

Lots of people think his cheeriness is default, but in reality, it’s a conscious choice. It’s his emotional armor. Words hurt him less if he chooses to be upbeat and optimistic, rather than let himself despair. That just creates a negative feedback loop, which doesn’t help anything.

Before Zack can inquire further, Melissa shows up to the stop. Milo gets preoccupied by their conversation and forgets that Zack’s still waiting on an explanation until he interjects. But right as Milo is about to elaborate, Murphy’s Law kicks in.

Milo has just enough time to slap his spare helmet onto Zack’s head before they turn and run. And it is both of them; Zack’s taken off without any prompting- he didn’t freeze like so many people do for their first disaster, that’s good. He’s screaming quite a bit, but that’s to be expected. And more surprising is that Zack’s keeping pace with Milo. Not many people can match his speed when he’s going full-tilt like this.

“-wait, why aren’t you screaming?!” Zack demands suddenly.

Milo’s intrigued. Most people who get caught up in his Murphy’s Law don’t have the presence of mind to question why he’s calm while being chased down the street by some devastatingly heavy object.

“I find it doesn’t help,” he answers simply. “Just hurts the larynx.” While he runs and talks, part of him is absentmindedly planning his next move, and he adds, “hand me that bungee, and you’d better hold onto my backpack.”

Milo winds up his throw. Even as Zack exclaims, “Wait, what?” he feels the other boy grab on as instructed, and then they’re up in the air.

Zack maintains his hold while they flip, and when the bungee snaps and drops them on top of the drainage pipe. He’s strong, Milo notes with pleasant surprise. More impressively, Zack doesn’t go careening off of the spinning cylinder- he manages to stay upright beside Milo. That’s a rare skill, for sure. Maybe he’s taken log-rolling classes, for whatever reason. Or, he’s just exceptionally quick on his feet. An athlete, maybe.

“That bungee was definitely defective,” Milo comments, if only to fill the space.

Zack offers no reply, even as Milo sends Diogee home. The pipe takes them through a road barrier, down a rocky incline, through a wooden fence, off of a thankfully low cliff, and into a shallow pit of mud. They barely have time to blink the mud from their eyes before the pipe falls down after them, and Milo tells Zack to scooch over- which he does with little hesitation.

They fit neatly through the center of the pipe, and a wave of mud sends them up to the top.

Zack glances over at Milo, his sudden stillness probably due to shock. “… the J-word wouldn’t happen to be jinx, would it?” he ventures.

Even though he knows it wasn’t used maliciously, Milo can’t stop himself from flinching. He brushes it off with a laugh, though it comes out slightly apologetic. “Yeah, that’s the one.” He pulls himself up onto the rim of the pipe, offering Zack his hand.

Miraculously, Zack accepts his help, and they climb over the edge and drop into the mud below.

Milo wipes his face off with a towel from his backpack. “I have EHML,” he explains. “Extreme hereditary Murphy’s Law. You know, ‘anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.’ Around me.” He studies Zack with a hint of apprehension, the other boy doubled over to catch his breath. He doesn’t look angry or upset or scared, but Milo can’t always tell.

“Well,” is all Zack says. “Alright, then. How are we gonna catch the bus?”

Milo blinks, handing Zack the towel. “Whenever stuff like this happens, the driver usually gives me a few minutes to make it back in case it’s something light. If we hurry, we should be able to get there in time.”

Zack cleans his face and gives the towel back to Milo, brows raised. “Lead the way, I guess.”

Well, indeed. Milo leads the way, and Zack follows.

~*~

Naturally, they miss the bus.

Zack’s definitely in some kind of shock now. He doesn’t even scream when the oil spill in the rock quarry goes up in flames. Milo gently suggests that they go through the woods instead. And then the shock seems to wear off when they’re beset by a pack of hungry wolves.

Shock and panic can interchange remarkably quickly, in some people.

While Milo knows from experience that wolves do, in fact, love peanut butter, Murphy’s Law isn’t yielding anything today. One of the wolves lunges at the same time he tosses the sandwich, and it gets thrown right back, sticking to Zack’s shirt. That elicits a shrill scream from him, and Milo has to fight the urge to cringe. This is not a great first impression, even by Murphy’s Law standards.

At this point, Milo’s pretty sure that the presence of the sandwich has no bearing on the wolves’ desire to attack them, but he grabs a stick and peels it off anyways, if only to try and save Zack’s shirt from being stained too badly.

They escape by scrambling up a tree, but the situation is complicated by the presence of an irate beehive.

A wolf with a beehive stuck on its face is a new one. Luckily, Zack continues to demonstrate remarkable survival instincts, such as ‘dodging when a wolf with a beehive stuck on its face lunges at you’ and ‘running when a wolf with a beehive stuck on its face gives chase.’ He’s keeping up well enough, though he might be starting to fatigue because he lags slightly behind Milo. And he’s still screaming a little, but Milo isn’t holding that against him.

In the end, they don’t escape the wolf so much as they accidentally plunge through an open manhole. But it’s not a high fall, and Milo’s not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Or, to look a sewer in the open manhole.

Milo lands on his feet in the middle channel, which is fortunately shallow. Zack crashes in right behind him.

“Here,” Milo hands Zack a headlamp from his backpack, “these will help us navigate in the dark.”

Zack’s voice follows him after a moment. “Dude… if and when we get out of here, I’m gonna have to go my own way. No offense, I just can’t handle all of… this.”

Milo’s heart trips inside his chest. He wants to protest that Zack has, in actuality, handled everything just fine. Truly, even Melissa would be impressed, and he’s sure she will be when he regales her with the story later today. But he knows that isn’t the crux of the matter.

“A- all of what?” he asks quietly, his voice wavering slightly despite his best efforts.

The answer is painfully obvious as a raccoon leaps out at him from a pipe, sailing over his ducked head and disappearing into murky sewer water. Milo grips his backpack tighter and keeps walking.

“This cyclone of calamity that follows you everywhere you go!” Zack exclaims in disbelief, his voice echoing in the tunnels. “How do you live like this?!”

Milo supposes this was inevitable. It’s not often that someone gives him a chance- usually it’s something like this, a new kid who doesn’t know any better- but it always ends the same way. He accepted long ago that Melissa would be his only school friend, and he’s okay with that.

Right now, they’ve reached the point where Milo will say he understands and apologize for putting Zack in danger. He’ll get him out of the sewer and part ways, only seeing Zack as much as school demands. Or less than that, if Zack decides to switch schools and get a restraining order. That’s happened before. But really, this is where Milo should ‘cut Zack loose,’ if he’s speaking metaphorically.

Except.

Except Milo doesn’t want to.

It’s a bizarre sensation. He’s never put up a fight before, whenever someone decided he wasn’t worth all the danger associated with Murphy’s Law. He almost lost Melissa that way, and was incredibly fortunate she decided to choose him. Typically, it’s easier for everyone if he just accepts it without complaint, and he doesn’t like making a scene. But this time, every part of him is rebelling against the idea.

He really, really doesn’t want to lose Zack. Zack, who’s fast and strong and quick on his feet. Zack, who has good instincts and knows how to trust them. Zack, who willingly followed Milo all this way despite knowing about his EHML. He doesn’t come across people like Zack every day.

Right now, it’s just him and Zack in a dark tunnel. There’s no one else around to worry about, no judgmental looks or scolding words. No one to tell Zack that he shouldn’t be around Milo. So maybe, this time, Zack can really decide for himself. Maybe, deep down beneath the knee-jerk fear reaction, he feels what Milo does, and knows that leaving would be the wrong choice.

Maybe Milo can fight for this.

So instead, Milo asks, “How do you live like that?”

Zack’s voice is hesitant. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Milo turns around, frustration nipping at him because it’s always so hard to put these things into words, “you wanna live like those other kids? They took a bus to school today. A bus! Does that seem like more fun to you?”

That really doesn’t say everything he means. It doesn’t say ‘I think you’re amazing and destined for so much more than an ordinary life’ or ‘I feel better with you by my side so please don’t go.’ But none of that comes easily to Milo, so it’ll have to do.

Zack stops and thinks about it. Really thinks about it. Milo holds his breath.

“Hm. Alright,” Zack says simply. He hops over the middle channel, landing next to Milo on the other side. Closer than most people are willing to get if they don’t have to. He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks at Milo expectantly. “Where to next?”

Milo is almost stunned by the sheer relief that washes over him, but he pushes through it. “Well, there’s a loose grate up over here to the left,” he says, turning around to resume walking. “I’ve been here before.”

“Of course you have,” Zack says, and it actually sounds fond.

Milo’s heart is running now, though he’s not sure why.

~*~

As they scramble their way through the construction site, Milo can’t help but think that they make a good team.

He knows he’s letting himself get too attached, too quickly. At the end of this, Zack could very well change his mind. Or maybe tomorrow, or after a week. Maybe his tolerance of Murphy’s Law has a limit. He wouldn’t be the first.

But they’re incredibly in-sync, for having just met not even a half-hour ago. They don’t even speak as they navigate the various hazards together. Zack seems to be relying on his instincts and cues from Milo, and they escape unscathed, floating down the river on the detached bed of a dump truck.

After they avoid the wolf (again) and Milo sends Diogee home (again), Zack climbs over to sit next to him, leaning back on his arms. His hand is close to Milo’s knee, close enough that their hands would be touching if Milo put his down. And the way Zack’s looking at him right now… his heart’s acting up again. Maybe he should get checked for arrhythmia.

“You know,” Zack starts, “I don’t know if it’s the adrenaline talking, but I’m starting to feel like we can handle anything that comes our way.”

If that’s how adrenaline makes Zack talk, Milo certainly doesn’t mind it. It’s not often that someone else is doing the reassuring, unless it’s Melissa or his family. And the confidence Zack says it with is an incredible thing. Even if it is just adrenaline.

Of course, now that Zack’s gone and said something like that, Murphy’s Law can’t resist the opportunity, and a massive tidal wave appears out of nowhere to carry them out of the river and straight off the edge of a cliff.

This time, Zack doesn’t scream. They plummet silently for a couple seconds before he turns his head towards Milo, almost casually, and says, “Well, maybe not anything…”

Milo would laugh at that, but then they faceplant onto the dome of an alien spacecraft and suddenly have other things to worry about.

~*~

Somehow, they end up at school on time and unscathed.

Zack thinks he might not have fully processed everything yet, because he feels… surprisingly okay. Considering what happened. But really, it seems silly to freak out and make a huge deal out of it when they’re both perfectly fine.

Aside from missing lunches, that is, but the redhead sitting in front of him- who he recalls as Melissa- has that covered. They don’t have time for formal introductions before the teacher comes in and begins class, but context clues tell Zack that she’s Milo’s only friend. And from what he can piece together, she orchestrated a betting pool to ensure they’d have something for lunch in the event theirs were destroyed.

So she’s either psychic, or stuff like this happens often.

That gets filed under ‘things to think about later,’ next to everything else that just happened. Right now, he has to focus on getting oriented to his new school. Which is… actually pretty boring, compared to this morning. Meeting his teachers, figuring out his schedule, finding his locker… it’s crazy to think he was stressing about this stuff just last night.

He gets strange looks here and there, and catches a few murmurs of, “Someone better warn the new kid” and “Wonder how long that’s gonna last” that make him… oddly indignant. He doesn’t like the feeling that his new classmates are judging his choice to stick by Milo.

He also doesn’t like the attention he’s attracted from Melissa. She’s nice enough, but he catches her staring at him sometimes, this intense look in her eyes, like she’s trying to puzzle something out, and it gives him the creeps.

Someone remind him not to get on her bad side…

If something’s up, Milo’s oblivious to it. He’s happy to help Zack around to their classes, and never falters under the stares or whispers or occasional small mishaps that occur. And they are small; nothing else that happens that day can compare to their crazy morning.

Which is perfectly fine by Zack. No complaining here.

The relative calm gives him a chance to actually get a good look at Milo- something that was neglected in all the terror. He’s deceptively average at a glance; pale, brown hair, brown eyes. An ever-present smile on his face. His outfit’s a little odd; shorts, sweater vest, loafers. And Zack quickly finds out that Milo’s backpack isn’t just a regular school backpack that happens to contain a random assortment of items.

Milo wears it nonstop throughout the day, never stashing it under his desk or in his locker. Not even during lunch. That also gets filed under ‘things to think about later.’

Along with the fact that Milo has a lot of scars. Like, a lot.

Zack remembers the conversation at the bus stop, but in the light of day it’d been easy to overlook. Milo’s so pale, the faint marks don’t show up that much until they’re under more contrasting light. And again, they aren’t running for their lives, so Zack can take the time to notice the dozens of scars on Milo’s arms, knees, and face.

Some are small pockmarks, some are lines of varying thickness, some are patchy blotches. Some of them look surgical in nature, while others Zack can’t even begin to speculate about. After their morning together, it’s not hard to imagine why Milo’s acquired so many scars in his short life, but it’s… sobering, to say the least.

Today wasn’t the rule. Milo gets hurt a lot. Like, a lot.

And so Zack’s starting to think this morning was actually really lucky, all things considered. Part of him wants to reconsider his decision. Not so much out of fear that he’ll get hurt, but because he’s not sure he can handle seeing Milo get hurt.

But then Milo catches him staring once. Their eyes meet briefly before Milo’s cheeks flush and Zack looks away, his stomach flipping like it did when they were freefalling together, and he already knows he’s in for the long haul.

~*~

Melissa doesn’t get a chance to speak to Milo alone until lunch, when Zack excuses himself to the bathroom and their little three-person table becomes its usual two-person table.

Milo, who had been excitedly recounting the morning’s events for her, suddenly falls silent as soon as Zack’s out of earshot. He looks up at her apprehensively, fidgeting with his hands, and Melissa already knows what’s on his mind before he says anything.

“So, uh, what- what do you think of him?” he asks quietly.

Melissa tilts her head, considering. She hadn’t thought much of the guy at the bus stop, simply recognizing that he was a new kid and thus didn’t know not to stand that close to Milo. She’d been surprised to see Zack stuck with Milo through all that happened, and seemed none the worse for wear.

“It sounds like he handled himself well,” she concedes.

Milo nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, he really did. I was very impressed.”

“I can tell,” Melissa says, amused.

Milo laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. Is that a blush? “I just, I know we haven’t really hung out with other people in… forever. I didn’t mean to have this whole adventure with him, without you, it just happened.” His expression sobers. “And- and I like him, and I think he’d be a good fit for us, but if you don’t, then just say the word. I’ll understand.”

Then he gives her that little smile of his, the one that’s sad at the edges like he’s already expecting a certain answer and has resigned himself to it. The one he uses whenever he’s apologizing for some Murphy’s Law related incident. The one that makes her want to shake him and say, “It’s not your fault, you deserve better.”

Over the years, some people have tried to stick around Milo just for the spectacle of it. A chance to see what the deal with the ‘disaster kid’ was (particularly back when Diogee was allowed to accompany Milo to school as his service dog). They didn’t care about Milo as a person.

And worse, Milo never caught on. He really thought someone was giving his friendship a chance, and was crushed when they inevitably decided it wasn’t worth the risk.

It only happened a handful of times before Melissa established herself as “someone you do not want to cross” and people were too scared to try it anymore, but it took a toll on both of them. Milo’s convinced that he’s destined to go through life alone, with no one but Melissa at an arm’s length away.

And Melissa’s instantly suspicious of anyone who shows an interest in Milo. Admittedly, she might’ve jumped the gun a few times, and chased off potential friends who could’ve actually had good intentions. After all, some people genuinely did try to be his friend, and just couldn’t handle Murphy’s Law. Mostly new kids like Zack. But whenever someone who already knew them started getting closer, Melissa’s defensiveness quickly deterred any further advances, before she even knew whether they were sincere or not.

Those are acceptable loss margins in her opinion, if it meant Milo didn’t have to suffer another heartbreak.

But she knows he’s lonely. More than others would think, and probably more than he’s willing to admit to himself. The two of them are close, but one person can’t be someone’s whole world. He’s always wary of putting too much on her, so she knows there are holes she isn’t filling.

If she’s being honest, it might be nice to have someone else around to help handle the Murphy mayhem. From what she’s heard, Zack is plenty capable- and that’s without any prior experience. She could do worse for someone to take under her wing. Plus, she hasn’t gotten strange vibes from him yet, regarding Milo. He seems genuine.

And Milo really seems to like Zack. Probably more than he’s willing to admit to himself.

So much so, in fact, it speaks volumes that he’d break this budding friendship if she asked him to. It scares her, sometimes, how much of Milo’s heart she seems to hold. They’ve won each other’s trust and loyalty a thousand times over since they first became friends, but all she really did in the beginning was show him some basic kindness. That’s all it took for him to decide he was devoted.

The wrong person could really abuse that.

… Zack better not be the wrong person.

“He’s in,” Melissa decides.

The way Milo’s face lights up almost makes all her worries go away.

Almost.

Zack will have to watch himself around her. If she gets a single whiff of any funny business from him, he’s done, and she’ll make him regret ever switching schools.

But even Melissa has to admit, the soft way Zack looks at Milo when he returns to the lunchroom and Milo happily waves him over makes her think she probably doesn’t have anything to worry about.

Probably.

~*~

#milo murphy's law #mml #milo x zack #zilo #my writing

46 notes · View notes

certainempatheticturkeymuffin · 3 years

Text

Age of Calamity Review

Hey! I wasted three hours of my life writing this in Arlo's comment section and part of it had to be cut out because of Youtube's word limit, so y'all get to suffer with me.

Here's the video that I wrote this on, give him some love, his opinion is a great juxtaposition to my own!

There are a few weird formatting errors because tumblr wants me to make new paragraphs, but there's no missing words as far as I can tell.

I like it, but I like the first one better, mainly for the appearance. I don't know why, but the pop ups are hard for me to see (by pop-ups I mean the challenges and weak point meters, the out of battle menu is actually pretty good, though I admit the text is a little small on the opening screen), and the lack of saturation makes it hard for me to see. Actually, that might be it, I just don't like the paler color palette in this context, since for a fast paced game I kind of need to be able to see, which I can't because I'm partially blind, and glasses have a glare that's an annoying trade off. Compare that to the original Hyrule Warriors, the weak point meters are brightly colored and change color the more you damage it, which is good for those with visual impairment who need some extra feedback to judge their next actions. The menu was also this aged tan color which provided a great contrast that wasn't the blinding white on top of dark blue, which wasn't bad at all, but the buttons and text were always big enough for those with visual impairment to see, though I will admit that the little pop ups with all the people crying out for help have a bit of the same issue as AoC. I think I just like the more vibrant colors of Hyrule Warriors in the context of a faster game, rather than the pale beauty of BotW, since my eyes can't really see what's going on if the colors aren't at least comparable to what you'd find in Minish Cap or Triforce Heroes. I can see fine in BotW during the day time, but at night, well, I just run and hope for the best, trying not to get killed by an electric keese, which is also a problem in AoC, mainly Zora's Domain; I could barely see a thing and it negatively impacted my experience.

I've got hundreds of hours in HW, and maybe five or ten in AoC. It's mainly because I just don't like how it looks. I've heard a lot of people say that it looks pretty much exactly like botw and...I have to disagree. A lot of areas are pretty perfect, but some, like the tower, are just a little off in a way I can't describe. That's a personal irrelevant nitpick though, but it negatively impacted my experience, so I thought it was worth a mention, the tower on the opening screen always annoyed the crap out of me, every time I see it I just want to exit the game because ew.

The gameplay is fine, and thank goodness for the addition of the meditation room, there's not a feature like that in the original, so I had to play the first stage over and over again to figure out new combos, I think Mipha is my favorite hero that I actually unlocked (though I've been wanting to play more just to see if I can control Revali and Teba like I can Fi (which makes her insanely good since her wide area of movement is the only thing you need to account for)), and I think Zelda is my least favorite, since she's a little clunky for my taste (Daruk is too, but his rolling makes that more bearable). I was a little disappointed with Impa, but her seal thing is kinda like Zelda's and Fi's thing in Hyrule Warriors (there are probably stronger connections, but I'm not experienced with every single hero), and I think it was just the hype that she got. She's not the type of character I like to play, since Zelda and Fi are my favorites, speedy and nimble area clearers (Sheik and Marin are cool too, I just have less experience using Marin, and Sheik is always a B pick since I find them a little harder to control with less area of impact), which meant that Mipha, a character I admittedly was never attached to, became one of my favorites in the game. Impa wasn't an area clearer for the most part, she had a few moves that could do that, but she was mainly a boss-killer to me, Mipha though? She's great, set up a few waterspouts and everything dies.

I do like that they've lessened the kind of ridiculous amount of items that were in HW, and that they didn't try to strong arm fairies in, because that system was the most annoying thing in the world and so poorly explained that I had to watch the same tutorial three times over about once a month because it was so convoluted.

I do hate the runes though, I just, couldn't seem to use them right. It might just be me, but I found trying to use them weird. It's a little hard to explain, but it's probably just a me thing. Not only that, but I found the inclusion of the rods on top of the runes annoying. The rods were entirely unnecessary if you were going to use runes. They just added another layer that was thin at best, not to mention that I found them hard to use as well. I hated the weird controls of the targeting system. I don't think there's anything wrong with a basic hack and slash, and if you're not going to have the excessive amount of items, runes were a good idea i think it might've been a me issue, but rods? It seems a bit excessive. It's probably just a "you'll get better with practice" kind of thing, which, fair, most people can't use Fi like I can, so that makes sense. I figured it was worth a mention anyway since the runes were a constant source of annoyance and I used the rods twice before never bothering again because I hated them so much.

I do like the addition of healing from food drops whenever you want though. In the original if there was a dropped heart but you were at full health, sucked to be you, going back for it when you need it would waste time. The plot is still as weird as ever though (from what I've heard from other videos and such), which is fine, since I tend to play my favorite levels over and over rather than actually do anything plot relevant (can you believe that it took me over a year to finish the story of HW because I kept getting distracted by letting Fi and Zelda mow down everything in the Adventure maps and challenges? I literally got the boomerang like six months after

getting the game. It's perfect for people with ADHD I swear) though I am extremely disappointed with the fact that they took the cheap way out, it's a kid's game and a nintendo game, what did I expect? For them to let everyone actually die? Nope...though honestly, I can't comment on the overall amazingness of the plot they went with because...er....I only did Mipha's and Daruk's stages before just losing interest, so I'm not the person you want to ask about any story criticism, because that would be pure conjecture and utterly pointless.

The customization of heroes, now that's great. It's a weird system that I needed to google a lot for, but it's absolutely brilliant and I love it. Sure, getting the specific seals I want is a little annoying, but it's a great mechanic and I love it.

I probably should've said this earlier, but I'm comparing it mainly to Hyrule Warriors rather than BotW because AoC's a Warriors game and thus plays more like Hyrule Warriors than BotW, and BotW has a different set of standards due to being an open-world game. I'm still salty about the plot though, so I guess there's your comparison.

Also, I absolutely ADORE the fact that you can track materials. Not having to google which stage gives me which material is just the best. And the fact that the side quests have little blurbs, absolutely fantastic. We didn't get that in HW, but then again, once you finished the main story, the rest was just, Have Fun and Kill Everything, which is great, and I love it, but adding in a weird ingredient fetching quest with a nugget of lore is kinda cool. I don't wish we got it in HW though, since, as aforementioned, there was no way to track which material came from which stage, so that would've made it a nightmare.

The Divine Beasts....I hated them, they were literally just time wasters, and, granted I only did Rudania and Ruta before dropping the game, I just hated them. The UI was horrendous and even Ganon's Fury was better, and I absolutely DESPISE Ganon's Fury. Once I finished them, I was just happy for them to be over and never bother with them again. I hated their controls, I hated the cramped paths, I hated how I couldn't really turn and see anything, and honestly, I commend the champions for being able to control these bulky slow and absolutely horrible machines.

On the music, I think it's good. I loved BotW's soundtrack, I loved Zelda 2's soundtrack, I loved Wind Waker's soundtrack, I loved Cadence of Hyrule's soundtrack, I loved Hyrule Warriors's soundtrack, I loved Minish Cap's soundtrack, Triforce Heroes, Spirit Tracks (you're lying if you say otherwise, this soundtrack is a bop and I will actually fight you), etc etc, and this one is no different, though I will admit it did a pretty good job of having me ignore it, though that may have been more due to my frustration at the rods and runes and Zelda and Daruk more than actually having an unimpressive soundtrack.

Personally, it didn't do much for me, I can't get over the color palette, the mechanics, the divine beasts. I had pretty average, maybe a bit high, expectations, but they weren't quite met. I played it for a few hours one day, dropped it, picked it up again a few months later, then remembered exactly why I dropped it. I think the original Hyrule Warriors is just better visually for me, even if the plot isn't great or it's a bit fanfictiony, it had depth in combat that didn't absolutely annoy me, and the annoying battles were usually optional, and the bosses had variety, which is a fault mainly of BotW and was just an inherited problem for AoC, and I'm not a completionist, I don't want to have to complete anything with Darunia or Cia, so I don't unless I have to to progress something, which means that I don't stress about the gargantuan amount of content in HW.

IN SUMMARY: I've never had problems with frame rate (though I play docked due to visual impairment), and if you're visually impaired, wear anti-glare glasses because the pale colors aren't going to help much. I haven't found an option to make text bigger. The soundtrack is good,

there isn't much boss variety (not AoC's fault, but it's still there), the meditation room is great, the runes take a bit of getting used to, as do the rods(i never got used to them), Divine Beasts tank performance in all aspects and are just disappointing, you actually know which stage drops which item, and there's no My Fairy (which is definitely a positive).

To slap on an arbitrary rating that only means something to me: 4.5/10

It's a good game if you can get passed the issues that bug ME to no end.

And there we have it. There goes....holy crap I spent three hours on

I wanted to like this, I really did, and I'm glad others enjoy it, but as it stands, I'll let y'all move on to Age of Calamity, and I'll stick to my handy dandy Hyrule Warriors ice cream with a dash of Breath of the Wild, a sprinkle of Cadence of Hyrule, and a Zelda 2 cherry on top. It's not like I have to wait long for Subnautica; hopefully that doesn't disappoint me too much, I preordered this one. Actually, I get Pokemon Snap today too, hopefully it isn't a SwSh level disappointment, AoC is magnitudes better than SwSh at a 4.5

this????? Three hours of my life. Gone.

#age of calamity #loz #hyrule warriors #review #game review #zelda botw #age of calamity review #hw aoc #aoc #botw #aoc spoilers #legend of zelda #breath of the wild #late review #like several months late #who cares #visual impairment #gaming

3 notes · View notes

just-the-hiddles · 4 years

Text

Tip Tuesday | Different Kinds of Feedback | The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Happy Tuesday, happy peppy peeps! Another tip Tuesday! Woo hoo!! This week I decided to tackle the different kinds of fic feedback and how to respond. Again your mileage may vary on this. I have been fortunate to not get too much negative feedback but it happens to all of us. Let’s dive in.

The Good | Genuine Concerns: So as a writer you have to be willing to admit you are not perfect. That you make mistakes. And you have to be willing to listen, make changes and learn. I have had a couple of followers come to me and voice concerns with my fics. They did so in a respectful, articulate and well intended manner. Each time, they asked me if I was okay hearing what they had to say. Writers, if someone comes to you like this and they aren’t a known troll, I would suggest hearing them out. They voiced their concerns and both times they were right. It was something that had been gnawing at the back of my brain and I should have made the change myself, but I didn’t. But I made the change moving forward (in one instance, I made some quick rewrites to a fic) and in addition I am more mindful going forward about what they brought up. And please don’t take this as me saying “Oh I was so enlightened... Look at me.” My initial reaction was to resist. And that may be yours as well. Fight the urge. Actively listen. Make changes. Learn and grow.

The Bad | Unsolicited Constructive Criticism: The Bad might be a bit of an exaggeration. The not so good might be better. These are those seemingly benign comments that couch unsolicited criticism of your fic. Like “I really like your fic, but I felt that....” or “This was a fun read, however, I wish you would have...” Or they may be more blunt like “You should write...” or “I wish you wouldn’t...”. To readers, if a writer hasn’t specifically asked for it, please don’t comment with con crit. Remember the rule: if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. And please don’t say, “I am trying to help them be a better writer.” That may be your intention but the effect is a blow to the writer’s self-esteem. To writers, you can ignore con crit if you want. You might want take a quick look and see if there are any takeaways. Particularly if you are getting a similar comment from multiple readers. But in the end it is your fic, you do you.

The Ugly | Unwarranted Negative Feedback: We know these kind of comments. These are the comments that serve no purpose other than to complain, harass, or troll. These are the comments also, that seem to stick with you the longest. They are also hopefully the rarest comments you get. I recently had a person who was binge reading some of my fics. Which is great, YAY! But they felt compelled to leave these comments, in my opinion, were really unwarranted. I ended up blocking them. Here are the comments they left.

One You Are My Home Part 2: I wish you had made Tom suffer for far longer, and beg, grovel, & most of all EARN her back after she got out of the hospital!!! Also, her work should have been sued for causing her near death! I would've loved to see them sued out of business and humiliated!

First off, that is not what this fic was about. I am not here to make people suffer. Second, the lawyer in me screamed at the part about suing the reader’s job. One, it wouldn’t happen. Two, lawsuits are not meant to punish (unless punitive damages are awarded), it is meant to make you whole.

That was the first comment, I let it slide. I didn’t respond.

Then twenty minutes later, this one came in on Forever Hold Your Peace: If you plan six different escape routes then you probably shouldn't be getting married.. She truly has horrid taste in men, plus really bad judgment. 🤦‍♀️

Again, this comment missed the point of the fic.

Finally I got this third comment and decided to block them. It was on Unexpected Delivery: He is pathetic for making his wife go through nearly everything alone! He could have AT LEAST Skype during the appointments(soldiers do it so I'd think an actor could manage)! My gosh, should have took her to a spa or something after putting her though that. Then having the baby with no pain meds or doctor. Both her and the baby could have easily died. Tom would be on diaper duty for her first year!

At this point, I had it. Don’t be this person. If this is the kind of comments you want to leave, Don’t. You are only leaving it to make yourself feel better by making the writer feel worse. Writers, delete these kind of comments, if they continue, block them. You don’t need this kind of negativity in your life. Some of you may say “You need thicker skin.” No. I have plenty thick skin, I have never posted this person’s username. I never will. I didn’t respond back and yell and scream at them. But it is my blog and people don’t get to act like dicks on it. These comments were dick moves. Their tone and language let you know. Words like “suffer”, “pathetic”, “horrid” are not words for con crit. This was someone who didn’t like the fic and instead of being a decent human being and “x”ing out, they left these comments.

So in short, the way you approach and the language and tone you use matter. Writers, be mindful of comments but don’t left negativity live rent free in your life. I know this may be a hot button post, but I think it needs to be talked about. Writers have a responsibility to listen to readers with genuine concerns and feedback and readers have a responsibility to not be jerks. Actually both need to not be jerks. Until next week!!

#tip tuesday #tumblr tip tuesday #writing advice #fanfic writing advice #writing tips #comments #reader interaction #how to deal with con crit #how to deal with negative comments

7 notes · View notes

wizardessheartprincess · 4 years

Text

two minutes (part 2/?)(edited)

prologue here (x)

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

story warnings: none really

genre: idk man tbh

a/n; this was posted yesterday night but I ended up editing and reposting here since I didn’t like how it turned out the first time

taglist: @dragonempress123

It seemed to face the whole eternal world for an instant-

The next day, you’re waiting in your lab after school - while it’s normally easy for you to get lost in the details, to forget about time’s relentless passage, today, you’re anxiously looking at the clock every fifteen minutes, even though you set an alarm. It’s becoming harder to brush off the comments of your classmates passing through - and you were even more thrown off earlier, when someone commented that you gave off the energy of a schoolgirl anticipating her first date.

… Right.

You’ve already pulled out all the prototypes of the designs you sent him last night - though honestly, you’re not even sure if they’ll work. They work in theory, you’ve tested them under ideal (and not-so-ideal) conditions, and even with other quirks, but never with his - which was a stupid decision, considering they were expressly designed for his quirk and his fighting style.

Unfortunately for you, the moment a shadow crosses the door and you look up, you manage to drop the box of screws you were holding, out of sheer surprise.

Incredible, Y/N. He had an appointment, he’s perfectly on time, and you still managed to be startled into making a wonderfully competent first impression.

You’re torn between greeting him and diving under the table to clean up the mess you’ve made in an otherwise relatively organized workspace, never to resurface, but you settle for… both. Quite possibly, the worst possible option.

“... Hi.”

You’re all too aware of what it looks like - some ditzy doe-eyed girl, kneeling in a freshly made mess of the lab she supposedly calls home, hair messily put up in a low bun that’s falling apart more every minute, just like her confidence in this meeting, hands scrambling to sweep up the stray screws threatening to roll away and towards his feet. Yikes.

He shoves his hands into his pockets, and stares down at you, obvious doubt starting to bubble up in those carmine eyes.

You pick up the pieces a little faster, scooping up screws and tossing them back into the box at an almost inhuman speed.

“... tch.”

You look up in time to see him cast a reproachful glance around the room - though, you barely skip a beat, tossing the last of the (visible) pieces back into the box before you stand back up, carefully placing the box on the nearest table.

“Hi, um, sorry about that. I’m -”

“- I know your name, I got the email. Listen, shitty extra, I’m just here because I was curious about what you sent me last night. Can you actually make them or not?”

Right, the attachments. Of course. He’s not interested in you, you’re just the gatekeeper to what he really wants.

You take a deep breath, but try to mask it. “I have more if you want, or we can try the designs you’ve already seen first.”

As you walk over to the shelf where you keep the prototypes meant for him stored, though, you notice him start to follow you, taking in the sight of all the wires and test tubes and computers around the room.

As you start pulling up files, though, he speaks up behind you in that same viciously casual voice you occasionally hear in the hallways in passing -

“How long would it take you to make the wave interference device?”

Straight to the point - noted. You turn around.

“Um, I’m not really sure. I’d have to measure the average strength of your explosions to calculate how much interference it’d have to provide, but -”

Seeing his palms start to crackle, you nervously take several steps back, your own voice starting to devolve into a fast-paced squeal -

“ - but I’ve ballparked the force from what I’ve seen on TV based on debris projectile arcs, and I think this should kind of work?”

You can’t seem to pull the container down from the shelf fast enough, hugging it to your chest as you practically run to the nearest open table and plop it down, already almost immersed in setting the device up before you realize he’s staring at you in disbelief, the impatience in those crimson eyes giving way to almost… astonishment.

“... You already have it… done?”

He walks closer for a better look, though you anxiously eye his hands - a fire in the lab would be a nightmare to clean up, even with the help of your quirk. Even if you trust him to not be that hot-headed, everyone knew he had to be restrained at his first Sports Festival awards ceremony, and if he damaged your workspace in any way, you’d be the first to restrain him yourself.

“Not done. I actually haven’t made any modifications to this in a while, since most of the calculations for it are gross estimates I haven’t been able to confirm.”

Until now, anyway.

Luckily, there’s still some battery life left in the device, and you grasp it with both hands, holding it out, offering to help him try it. Maybe you shouldn’t be so forward, especially with him so unusually quiet, but you can’t help but be excited - you’re finally getting to test some of your best work (in your humble opinion).

He stares at you with some suspicion for a few moments, but slowly offers out his own arm with another soft click of the tongue - which is all the trust you need anyway.

Almost gleefully, you fit the device to his forearm - which should be ideal placement to absorb shock, based on videos you’ve seen of his previous fights. Part of you is still worried about how quiet he’s being, but maybe he’s just tired from training, though you doubt that weak explanation.

“How does it work?”

You gently tug on the device, making sure it’s wrapped taut around his arm - though his arms are a bit more muscled than you’d expected. Good to keep in mind for the future.

“For you, it should activate automatically, since it’s triggered by a chemical reaction with the nitroglycerin when it’s ignited… want to test it outside?”

You’re almost bouncing in excitement from the prospect of getting to finally run some real trials with your inventions, especially since he doesn’t seem to have negative feedback yet.

“Is it too tight?”

He rotates his arm around, flexing and unflexing slightly.

“No.”

He lets his arm fall to his side, though not before crossing and uncrossing his arms - a force of habit, broken only by the foreign object around one arm, you assume.

He starts walking towards the door - and it’s only a moment before you follow. He seems to be walking faster, now, and you can’t help but let your hopes soar that he’s just as excited to test your work as you are.

You pass a few other support students in the hall, but you’re too thrilled to take much note of the knowing looks they give you - and soon enough, you’re finally outside.

Still following behind him, you see him take several long strides into the courtyard… before he stretches his hand in front of him, at an angle directly facing the sky above the school gates, and you’re about to panic-yell at him to be mindful of the direction of his explosions, but…

Just as the late evening sky detonates in fumes of orange and grey and yellow, you realize - while you saw the explosion, you barely felt it - just a barely-there tremble of the air around you, despite being only a few feet behind him.

The realization hits you just as it seems to hit him, and that’s the first time you’re awed by Bakugou Katsuki’s smile, grinning up at the sky, at his still-outstretched arm, the way light is reflected in those glimmering ruby eyes despite the bright explosion having dissipated already.

#bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha fanfiction

22 notes · View notes

mellicose · 5 years

Text

Doctor ... WTF?

An impassioned rant about the steady decline of Doctor Who, the trajectory of the Thirteenth Doctor, and the righteous indignation after The Timeless Children, not only as a Whovian, but as a woman-

I love how certain people are spinning The Timeless Children as being good, yet the BBC has released (2)TWO statements basically telling fans the following:

“Doctor Who is a beloved long-running series and we understand that some people will feel attached to a particular idea they have of the Doctor, or that they enjoy certain aspects of the programme more than others. Opinions are strong and this is indicative of the imaginative hold that Doctor Who has – that so many people engage with it on so many different levels.

We wholeheartedly support the creative freedom of the writers and we feel that creating an origin story is a staple of science fiction writing. What was written does not alter the flow of stories from William Hartnell’s brilliant Doctor onwards – it just adds new layers and possibilities to this ongoing saga.”

Creative freedom, huh? Ask Joe Hill about it. Or Gaiman. The writers, including Chibnall, are only free to do what the Beeb and the other show investors tell them.

They go on:

“We have also received many positive reactions to the episode’s cliff-hanger. There are still a lot of questions to be answered, and we hope that you will come back to join us and see what happens, but we appreciate that it’s impossible to please all of our viewers all of the time and your feedback has been raised with the programme’s Executive Producer."

Uglylaughing.gif

There is a huge, monumental difference between 'not being able to please everyone all at the same time' and basically making a whole fandom, New and Classic, young and old, come together with the same level of disgust and disappointment.

I also find the people arguing "Canon? What canon?" about the Doctor now being the Lord and Savior of the Shining World of the Seven Systems to be foolish at best, and disingenuous at worst.

No canon?? So what have I been steeping myself in for years - a vague approximation of a tale? Please. Of course, writers have embellished and alluded, but tampering with the unspoken but well-known 'no touch' rule about the Doctor's origin is ... well, it's canon, in and of itself...

...which Chibnall completely wrecked, and I can't imagine why. Hubris? By all accounts, he was a fan. I thought Moffat was a dick for bringing back Gallifrey, but now, to me, my disappointment then vs now is like comparing a fart to a shitstorm.

Please excuse the scatological references, but I'm using it deliberately. It is a swirling turd, which I and many others wish we could flush down and forget forever.

In another RadioTimes article - which basically is the BBC - amongst the usual apologetics, Huw Fullerton drops this little gem:

“The glory days of David Tennant et al were in a different TV landscape, and if the Tenth Doctor touched down now it seems unlikely he’d command anything close to the ratings he did over a decade ago.”

Yeah, you can all take a break to have a hearty laugh. Or throw up. Whichever. Did they just hint that, basically, the incarnation of the Doctor who continues to get as much love (if not more) than Four, who still consistently gets thousands of butts in seats in conventions worldwide, and has made the BBC hundreds of thousands of pounds sterling in merchandising “wouldn’t command the ratings he did in 2008?”

As Gary Buechler of Nerdrotic said in his response to this article: “Actually, if David Tennant had been given as many chances as Jodie Whittaker, it would’ve had Game of Thrones-level ratings.”

And I agree. Not because I’m a Tenth Doctor stan, but because it’s just ... categorically true. His seasons consistently got average rating of 7.5 to 8 million viewers - and this in a time before BBCiPlayer, so 7-day catch up ratings meant nothing. It was butts on sofas then, which, to me, speaks of a massive, sustained interest.

But Huw goes on to say that such things mean nothing. And that the huge, telling sink in both overnight and 7-day ratings between the 11th and 12th seasons, and the dismal 4.69m 7 day ratings for The Timeless Children - the lowest for a NewWho finale since its reboot - shouldn’t be taken as a loss of interest from the fandom.

Then, pray tell goodman, what does it mean? Does it mean that fans are following the Thirteenth Doctor’s adventures in spirit? Ratings are tanking. Outside of the precious few who blindly tweet and write articles about the show solely based on its now female protagonist, people are notoriously furious, especially after the execrable season finale.

Yet BBC’s Piers Wenger, who once produced the show, says “I don’t think it’s been in better health, editorially. I think it’s fantastic and I think that, the production values obviously have never been better.”

Right. Okay. So, putting Tom Ford makeup on a pig makes it haute couture, huh? The writing is appalling, and after two excruciatingly painful to watch seasons, the Doctor has failed to appear - all I’ve seen is borderline sociopathic navel gazing from an ‘alien’ wearing a pastel duster.

How dare you besmirch the unfailingly cool reputation of the long coat, Chibnall? Jodie? How??

I will not let someone piss on my head and call it rain ... ‘because it’s a woman.’ Assuming I’ll accept it just adds insult to injury. Who do they think we are, as female fans? I will not cosign garbage to further an agenda that is ultimately damaging one of my favorite things ever, Doctor Who. I agree that politics, and a positive moral, have always been a part of DW, but at it’s best the writing was so good that it only added to the entertainment. Now, the BBC is feeding us all the bitter pill, without the kindness to hide it in a piece of tasty cheese. It gives the impression that they believe we are already so indoctrinated that we no longer need artifice!

Well, not only am I not indoctrinated, but I refuse to ingest.

I refuse to allow people to silence me because the Doctor is now a woman, and so am I. That, I shouldn’t say anything, or complain, because it’s an act of rebellion on womankind, not only in entertainment, but in general. Well, to that I say ... er ... I disavow.

Disavow. Disavow.

And this from a woman who once criticized Peter Davison for saying that casting a woman was “a vital loss of a role model for boys,” taking it as a sexist comment when in truth, it was just a relevant narrative concern about gender-swapping the traditionally male-presenting Time Lord. Just changing a character from male to female doesn’t do anything but demonstrate a tone-deafness about the emotional and physical differences between men and women, which exist whether we want to address them or not. This is why genderswap reboots are terrible. They are trying to further the feminist agenda, while surreptitiously painting traditional, every day femininity as weakness, and something to be avoided at all costs. I reject the modern Hollywood representation of what a ‘strong woman’ is meant to be. I can be clever, yet sensitive enough to comfort a friend when they confide their fears about a cancer relapse. I can be funny, and not at the expense of the man in the room. I can be brave, but not at the expense of my friends. The mind boggles as to why they thought their current tack with the Doctor was going to be any good. The Doctor is a woman, but more importantly, she’s a Timelord. Where are they? Is the alien that we’ve known and loved for the last 60 years truly gone away, and Thirteen is from a whole different timeline? If so, I don’t want to know her.

And it breaks my heart.

Why continue to support a corporation who thinks of me, the fan, as no more than a heartless, thoughtless consumer? A drone? A sheep who has no conscious idea of what I like or need?

I’m done. It’s been two seasons of absolute dreck, with absolutely no sign of a course-correction due to the overwhelmingly negative response. I may be many things, but I’m no masochist - even in the name of love. And Chibnall, knowing that many fans would go back to the classic stories to cleanse ourselves, went back to the beginning and took a giant shit there too.

Oh, the cleverness! the absolute schadenfreude of not only tampering, but rewriting the Doctor’s origins! I suppose that tells me he truly was once a fan. But no longer. Even if it turns out that the Master is as full of crap as Chibnall and it’s all an orchestrated lie, I don’t care anymore. Every inexplicable, terrible thing that happened before has already exhausted my patience with the narrative.

As veteral DW writer and script editor Terrance Dicks said:

If you’re concentrating on putting forth a political message, rather than on doing a really good show, I think there is a danger, maybe, you can do both but it would be hellish difficult, and I think that there’s maybe a danger that the show wouldn’t as be as good as it could or should be, because you’re not looking at the right aims.”

It seems like all that has been lost in time. Big corporations are buying up beloved science fiction properties, and systematically destroying them by trying to mix their politics into the mythos. [see ‘the fandom menace’]

I say, don’t support things that make you unhappy, in the name of nostalgia. That’s how they continue to upset us, while lining their pockets with our hard earned money. Complaining amongst ourselves, writing emails, or making angry Youtube videos no longer works anyway. Now is the time to just ... let it go. No more special edition DVDs, novelizations, or pretty action figures. Hit them in the pocketbook. We will still have fond memories of better times. I will not let them hijack, retcon, and retool them too.

There is a telling paragraph hidden in the depths of the article, which makes my DW fangirl sink:

It’s not as simple as “the ratings are down so Doctor Who will be cancelled,” as for the publicly-funded BBC there’s an interesting question about exactly what ratings are for beyond bragging rights. Obviously they need to make TV that people want to watch – but which people?

Not us, Huw. That’s who.

#dw #doctor who #doctor who season 12 #doctor who season finale #tenth doctor #dw negativity #the timeless children #or as I call it:#the timeless sham #issa no from me dawg #that little comment about dt really made me snort #i really hope he heard about it and had a long knee-slapping laugh #oh dear #the bbc really are deluded #they are truly drinking a koolaid whose potency boggles the mind #like can they see how off the mark they are?#do they have friends?

31 notes · View notes

jesawyer · 5 years

Text

The Deadfire Post-Postmortem

Since the video of my Digital Dragons postmortem for Deadfire went up, I’ve seen a few questions and comments that I think are worth addressing. If you haven’t seen the video yet, you can find it here:

youtube

First, it’s worth saying that this talk was only supposed to be 45 minutes, with ~15 minutes left for questions. I overran the 45 minute mark, so please understand that I couldn’t address every criticism people leveled at the game. I tried to talk about the things that came up most frequently in player and reviewer feedback.

1) Do you think the open world nature of the game contributed to the story/plot/pacing feeling weak?

Yes. I made the choice to make the game more open and knew that would impact how tight the story and its pacing would feel. However, even with that choice being made, I still could have done a better job with structuring and pacing the critical path.

For a while, we had a hard limit on where the Defiant could go in the archipelago. The in-story justification was that the Defiant was damaged and needed expensive repairs that you needed to raise money for. It could only move in the shallows, which comprised about 1/5 of the total map, encompassing Maje Island, Neketaka, Fort Deadlight, the Woedica pyramid, and some other places. We removed that, but we weren’t really doing anything with that restriction, story-wise, other than preventing the player from sailing from Port Maje to Hasongo without stopping at Neketaka.

I don’t have hard data for this, but I haven’t seen much anecdotal evidence that many/any players actually make that skip on their first playthrough. I think whether we (for example) forced the player to funnel through Neketaka/the palace before going to Hasongo is less important to the pacing of the story than disconnection between the factions and Eothas.

Re-working those plot elements may have required explicitly gating the player in the same way that the trial at the end of Act 2 creates a high-drama gate before going to Act 3, but then we’re really going back to the core issue, which was two disconnected plotlines.

Maybe this seems like an evasion, but I’m trying to explain that the plot was not conceived as disconnected to support the game being more open. The game was actually more closed during development. We did gate the player until we realized that the plot didn’t demand it. One could say, “Then why didn’t you change it then?” Because I made a mistake. That’s why I cited the plotting and pacing, not the open nature of the game, as the bigger issue. If the story had demanded more restriction and the pacing felt solid because of it, maybe I would have erred on the side of more restrictions.

And while a weak story is almost purely a negative for players, the map being almost entirely open does have positive aspects, that being the freedom to explore. Was it worth the trade off?

It doesn’t seem like it, no.

2) Why wasn’t the Penetration system discussed?

Considering the broad nature of the postmortem, the Penetration system seemed like too fine a point to discuss in detail. The systems aren’t easy to talk about in less than a couple of minutes, and a couple of minutes would have pushed me past the time limit. Also, in the end, it seems like more players ultimately preferred Penetration to the previous DT system.

I’d like to step back to talk about something at a higher level, which is vertical progression in RPGs. Most RPGs/CRPGs focus on the vertical progression of numbers: damage, hit points, armor values, resistances, etc.

These numbers feed into formulae to produce a range of outcomes. The more inputs a number has and the wider the range of values on those inputs, the more quickly the formulae start to break down. This is why MMORPGs often abstract values and do arcane under-the-hood adjustments or go through periods of “squish” where all of the numbers get recalibrated/normalized (in the case of WoW, both).

Penetration was an attempt to retain the transparent vertical progression of armor and weapon values while constraining/normalizing the input > output of damage vs. armor. The Pillars 1 DT system is easier to understand on a basic level, but I maintain that’s still harder to make tactical choices based on it. This is based on observation of players using the system. The Pillars 2 Penetration system takes longer for players to figure out, but once they figure it out, they generally make better decisions in the system.

Is vertical progression important? That depends on the audience and the nature of the game as a whole. Horizontal progression (i.e., unlocking different actions/capabilities) can have much more of an impact, and I prefer games that emphasize horizontal over vertical progression. But I didn’t make Deadfire to my tastes, specifically, and Pillars 1 + the Infinity Engine games were dominated by the importance of vertical progression.

Personally, I would like to try an armor system where you have light/medium/heavy armor and attacks simply have light/medium/heavy penetration, there is no numerical progression in that relationship, and armor and weapons (including magical ones) gain extra/additional cool abilities instead of progressing on a numbers treadmill.

3) How was ship-to-ship combat, which is seemingly not that complicated, so expensive?

It was so expensive because it was an entirely custom system that re-used almost no assets from the rest of the game. Every sound you hear in ship-to-ship, every drawing of a ship you see at various distances/states of decay, every custom string listing actions and consequences, the cue system, every piece of user interface, was custom.

One of our system designers came up with this concept of ship-to-ship combat because he believed it would be resource-light. I cut it after two iterations because it was very obvious to me at that point that it was going to be arduously resource-heavy.

I honestly think that if we had made ship-to-ship combat a real-time with pause system more like combat in Pirates!, it would have ultimately been less expensive and much more fun for more players.

youtube

4) Wow, you really don’t get why the game sucks, do you?

A game can suck in myriad ways for different people. The ways I talked about are the ways that came up most frequently for players and reviewers. I mentioned that at the beginning of the talk, but it’s worth saying again here.

If you’d like me to address the way in which you thought the game sucked, just ask me a question here and I’ll try to answer it.

#game design #video games #pillars of eternity #deadfire

118 notes · View notes