#not that I don’t like ugly ass bugs

[irraydiate]

Jonas continuing the collection—

[thegreatestheaver]

Is it a hot take to say re7 is the scariest resident evil game …

[hyewka]

please, noona | c.sb

summary; your brother forbids you from talking to any of his friends when they come over. in his words, you'd seduce them and take away their 'innocence' as if you were a witch in hunt for dick every second of the day. he's especially strict about soobin, his similarly nerdy best friend that comes over every other day to play games.

which sucks because that meant you had to be stuck in your room very often...until beomgyu finally leaves to quickly buy some snacks.

warnings; perv!soobin, titty sucking, soobin's sorta a himbo, noona kink, big useless dick, dry humping (is it a hyewka fic without dry humping???) soobins obsessed with tits, creampie, mentions of a breeding kink, soobin cums a lot, use of pet names, and of course sub!soobin + brief appearance of ex!yeonjun

You never understood why you had to be the one locking yourself in a room as if you weren't the one paying rent, and out of the kindness of your heart, let your hobo brother freeload off you. He should've been the one staying in his room instead of hogging the living room with his loser friends, but alas, you took the the role of the older sister, and let the boy do his shenanigans (for as long as your patience can handle, which you now think won't be very long).

Today was one of those days where you got comfortable on your couch, every limb of your body relaxing, in your pajamas that consisted of a lousy tank top and shorts. You don’t get these days often, most of your time spent wearing ugly work pantsuits. But of course, the comfort doesn’t last long—all of a sudden, Beomgyu's yelling for you to go to your room because someone's coming over. Again.

You’re about to take your stance, because fuck that, but he pulls you up like the little bitch he is and pushes you into a room, shutting the door before you could say another word.

"Fuck you Beomgyu! I swear to fucking god I'll kick your ass to the curbs tomorrow!" you yell at the closed door.

"No you wouldn't!" he yells back, and you raise a trembling fist in the air as if he could see, gritting your teeth, but drop it when you realize the little damned troll was right. You wouldn't go through with your promise any time soon, let alone tomorrow— you coddled your little brother too much.

When you defeatedly turn around, you immediately notice he put you in the wrong room, which pisses you off more. His room. The place was gross, clothes you're sure haven't been washed in ages discarded all around the room. Mostly on the floor.

You tiptoe to the bed, trying to avoid as much of the dirty underwear and socks, hesitantly sitting on his bed as if it was infested with bugs. Which was likely.

What you usually spend your time doing at times like these is a mindless scroll through your social media, effectively ignoring the unread messages. But when you pat around for a feel of your phone, you find your pockets are empty. You throw your head back, groaning. You left it on the couch because of how haste Beomgyu was being.

Sometimes a nap would do when he took too long to call it a day with his friends. This time, you almost fall asleep staring at the poster on the ceiling, until you figure out the voices that transcended through your walls. It was only Beomgyu and Soobin today, which meant that this might take the entire day.

Fucking great.

"It's down the street, I think." you open a shut eye, eavesdropping in what your brother was saying. Were they finally leaving? "Wait, hold on, I'll come back."

It's silent until suddenly, the door's pushed open, Beomgyu poking his head in. His brows are furrowed, one of confusion, "Why're you in my room?" You want to yell he pushed you into his shit bedroom but he shakes his head quickly, cutting off your incoming scolding,  like he was in a hurry. "Ya noona, that local convenience store's still open right?"

You roll your eyes. "Lotte mart? That's not local."

He deadpans. One thing about younger siblings was that they are impatient little shits. "Yeah, it's still open." you reply.

Not even a thanks, and he's gone. Which you expected— the exact reason you lied. They closed the location a few weeks back. He'd have to walk to the other closest convenience store, which was at least an hour away.

Serves him right.

The moment you hear the door closing shut, you get up from the bed, immediately heading out of the suffocating bedroom, and head to the living room to retrieve your phone. You don’t expect to see Soobin still there, focused on his phone—assuming he was going to head out with Beomgyu.

He senses someone’s here, so curiously he looks up and meets your eyes, then his widen like he’s been caught doing something wrong.

“H-hi noona.” he quips.

You wave, giving him a quick smile– you definitely found him adorable …but you weren’t in the mood to get scolded by Beomgyu for talking to the boy. So you keep it short, walking to get your phone which rested on the arm rest to the right of Soobin.

“Hey Soobin. Just here to get my phone.”

He tucks his chin in at the proximity when you reach over him to grab your phone—you can even hear him gulp. Probably because your tits were hanging right in front of him. You give him a quick glance, tilting your head after you successfully retrieve your phone in hand.

Unfortunately, he was adamant on keeping his eyes on the TV screen, which had a game paused, so he practically stared into nothingness. You wish you had guys as cute as Soobin when you were attending college. Instead you were stuck with cocky frat boys who expected a fuck after getting you a shitty drink.

“You’re leaving?”

You halt before looking over your shoulder, “Yeah, taking a nap.”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah…um, goodnight—I mean, have a good sleep, or sorry, have a good nap.”

You break into a grin, nodding at the boy. What a loss that he just had to be friends with Beomgyu.

Your legs still midway into the narrow hallway.

You don't have to lock yourself in your room. Beomgyu was gone. In fact, he'll be gone for the next three hours and that wasn’t in account of his turtle-like pace, if your estimation was correct.

You’re a data analyst for a living, of course your estimation’s correct.

So, you go back, trace your steps, and make yourself comfortable. On your own couch, in your own apartment. It’s ridiculous how rare you got the chance to do just that.

Soobin doesn’t ask questions, but he does end up straightening his posture the moment you plop down next to him. “Can you pass me the remote?” You gesture towards it with your chin.

He nods, quickly getting it for you. You hesitantly take it from him, feeling bad. Poor boy, it’s like you were making him uncomfortable with your presence. So you give him a break, scooting away, making the gap between you both awkwardly big.

“You don’t mind me watching, right?” you look at his face for a response. You could totally drop your show if he didn’t want to sit through it– you wanted to give him the option. Though to be fair, knowing Soobin as much as you did (which was admittedly limited, but he was easy to read), you’re sure he’d let you watch even if he did mind.

Which is exactly what happens as he shakes his head, “No, no, it’s okay.” You peer at him before shrugging and opening Netflix.

Unfortunately, as much as you try your best to focus on the drama, Soobin’s polite posture and silence bothers you. Usually, whenever the rare occasion of bumping into Beomgyu’s friends in the hallway happens, they try to strike up a conversation. But Soobin was rather…modest. Too modest.

You pause the show.

“Soobin.” With his name called, he immediately looks over at you. “You know you can talk to me right? I'm not the evil witch my brother paints me as, I promise.”

His eyes are wide, waving his hand in denial, still as formal as ever. “No, it’s—it’s not like that Noona! I know. I know I can talk to you, I mean. Beomgyu tells me you’re nice.” You tilt your head– you doubt that was true.

But you don’t bother. “Oh. Okay, great!” you pull up your legs on the couch, turning your full body to face him. “So, tell me Soobin, are you an introvert?”

He seems startled, like he didn’t expect you to actually start a conversation but it doesn’t last long as he nods meekly. “Y-yeah, sort of.”

“Mm, makes sense. You don’t really make eye contact when talking.” The moment the realization hits Soobin, you huff out a laugh at how fast he turns his head to look at you, his ears noticeably red.

“S-sorry Noona.”

You click your tongue, a little disappointed at how he was still so formal with you. “You don’t have to be so formal, you know? I’m only like, three years older than you.” It takes him a few seconds before he nods, though you could tell by the appearance of a dimple, that he wasn’t going to let the formal language go.

Oh well. You’ll work with it. “So, Soobin. Question. How come you’re a completely different person when playing games? You’re loud, but when in a conversation, your voice is as soft as it can be humanely hearable.”

He’s noticeably embarrassed as his face flushes. “You–you heard me?”

You chuckle, “It’s a little hard not to.”

Soobin isn’t louder than Beomgyu, but was very darn close. Which is a feat considering someone two floors above you came over to complain about Beomgyu once.

“I’m sorry, I–I don’t mean to. I’ll be careful next time.”

You furrow your brows, before lightly slapping his shoulder. “Hey, stop apologizing. I’m just joking around, I really don’t mind. Sort of already used to it.”

“Still—”

You shake your head, cutting him off. “Let’s talk about something else. Um…oh! Do you have a girlfriend?” you teasingly drawl the girlfriend bit like a middle school boy, in attempt of making him a tinge more comfortable.

He’s meek again, biting the inside of his cheeks before he lets out a quiet no.

You gasp at the revelation, a hand shooting up over your mouth. “But you’re so handsome! How come?”

You definitely played it up a bit— you weren’t that shocked that he wasn’t dating considering how often he came over and how long he stayed.

He gets flustered once more, and finally, a small smile appears. “I don’t know. Probably because I’m horrible at flirting. And probably not that handsome.”

You pout, “Not that handsome? ’M being completely honest, I think you’re the cutest guy I’ve seen in a while.”

He flushes, playing with his hands. “Yeah... cute not handsome”

You got closer to him somehow so you’re able to give him a light nudge. “Handsome too idiot.”

He smiles, looking at you with so much adoration you could just pinch his cute cheeks.

The entire time you spend talking to him felt a little more chill, his posture relaxing along with the flow of conversation being a little more natural— though you still carried it most of the time.

You found out he liked a number of things. Anime, manga, collecting figures, obviously gaming. All things you usually assumed to be a little nerdy, but it was cute how he lit up talking about his favorites regardless. You find out he’s majoring in chem too, which you would have never guessed.

You also find out Soobin might just be the most obvious peeker; truly terrible at being discreet.

You really had a hard time not laughing every time you caught his eyes so obviously looking down at your cleavage, which you forgot was so revealing through the tank top you wore. More than once does he subconsciously wet his lips before he tries to pretend like he was listening to you talk.

You understand why Soobin was friends with Beomgyu rather quickly. Most of Beomgyu’s friends were greasy pervert losers. Soobin not any different, you figured. Except it was cute on him.

"Beomgyu said you had a boyfriend.” he mumbles, the longest eye contact he’s held with you the entire time you’ve been talking to him.

You tilt your head. "…I don't? I haven't dated anyone since Yeonjun." at his silence, you figure he's not one of your girlfriends who knew the ins and outs of your dating history, "Which was four months ago."

His lips form an O shape, nodding slowly.

"Did you ask him? Why? Were you curious?" you tease, and enjoy the way Soobin stumbles on his words, cheeks quickly running hot. "N-no, he just told me."

You hum knowingly. Before you know it, you ramble about another topic but like the shameless boy he is, you catch how his eyes trail down again. This time, you decide to end it, it’s clear he wanted something so you clear your throat. The conversation was slowly dying anyway.

His eyes snap back up almost immediately, cheeks still a bright shade of pink. “Um s-so…”

“I was talking about my favorite boba place just now.” His iris panics before he chuckles nervously, “Y-yeah. That.”

You smile looking down at his hands and take a notice of how big they are. Your finger trails to one, fingertip running circles on his palm.

He’s startled by the sudden contact, but doesn't pull away immediately. “Girls at school would probably ruin that pretty face of yours if they caught you staring at their tits so openly.”

His eyes shoot wide open, pulling his hands from you like you just poured boiling water on it. “I wasn't–”

You cut him off. “I should've counted but it was probably a hundred times I've seen you look, pervert.”

His face is so red, he truly looked like a tomato. You also catch the glistening of his waterline, his lower lip quivering. “I'm sorry Noona please don't be mad I—“

“Good thing I'm not a girl from school, huh?" You're quick to stop his rambling, not in the mood to be the cause of someone's tears. "Do you want to see them?”

His brows perk up almost immediately, the crease of his forehead apparent, doe eyes looking at you so intently.

“My tits. Wanna see them?”

He nods profusely before he shoots up a hand over his mouth. “Oh my god, was that a trick question? I’m sorry—”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Adorable.” you coo, booping his nose. He frowns at that.

"I'm not a kid noona, you always—" he cuts himself off when you grip the hem of your tank top, pulling them over your bare breasts swiftly, showing them to the younger boy. You relish in his reaction, ends of your lips twitching up at the way his mouth falls open, licking them as he openly stares.

God, he was such a pervert.

“Can I...can i—" his words fall dry.

“You wanna touch?”

“Please noona.”

You shrug. He scoots closer, cold hand hesitant on your breasts, sending goosebumps on your skin with the touch. “Soobin, its okay, you can touch them”

He prepares both hands above your breasts before finally holding them. He feels by a few squeezes and then he starts playing, fondling like he's never seen a pair before.

His breathing gets heavier the rougher he squeezes, and especially when his thumb glazes over your nipple, which is the confirmation you got.

He was a total loser.

You hold his wrist, getting Soobin to stop, snapping him out of his thoughts, and he slowly pulls away, wiping the slight drool on the corner of his lips. “Was I too rough—?”

"A little, but I don't mind." You get on him, straddling his lap. Soobins big eyes look up at you, gulping at the possibility that you'll let him do what he thinks you'll let him do.

You feel the bulge between your legs and laugh. "You got hard from touching me? Big baby."

He frowns, "I'm not a baby."

"Oh really?" You grab the back of his head, and shove his face between your chest. Sure enough, Soobin's mouth already latches onto one of your nipples, starting to suck. "See? You're such a filthy pervert, already sucking the moment I give you the chance."

He's stupid enough to muffle out a thank you as if letting him suck was like handing him water at deserted desert. Your shirt is over his head as his face was buried in between your chest, spit already all over it— he was incredibly messy. A bead of sweat breaks out, running down his forehead.

You're startled when he goes over to your left breast, not letting it go without attention. His tongue flicks your nipple then he starts sucking harshly making you hiss. “Hey—hey! Soobin, not too rough.”

He doesn't respond nor does he relent, very obviously busy with sucking on your nipple, his other hand having free reign on your chest. You take a hold of his hair and pull him off you, his face coming into full view, lips glistening with spit. He was a mess. "Soobin, be gentle. I'm serious."

He nods and you sigh, his head once again eagerly going under your shirt. His hips start bucking into you, trying to get off, and you're sure your chest is entirely covered with hickeys-- your nipples hard and sore from all his sucking. “Wanna be inside noona, wanna be inside you." he manages to moan, voice muffled against your chest.

You close your eyes shut when you feel his bulge pressed against your clothed slit, moving just slightly to get yourself off a little too. “Yeah? Wanna fuck me?” You feel the earnest nod of his head and it makes you pout fondly. You decide to throw him a bone, you were pretty hot and bothered anyway.

"Okay baby, I'll let you."

You've never had a man be so eager to fuck you, or for better words, be fucked by you. But that could be explained by your dating history being mostly if not all, tatted macho men who liked being nonchalant. Maybe you should fuck losers more often.

By losers, you mean cute ones like Soobin.

His dick looked intimidating when you ordered for him to take it out- the swollen tip, concerningly red, precum already leaking down the veins of his fat dick and... shit that length might break you.

He's visibly embarrassed. “Um, if its too much then you don't have to—“

You position yourself on top of him again, giving him a reassuring smile. "I can take it.”

His eyes are glistening, the living room already dark due to the lack of the previous sunlight-- it was already noon. You figure you like it when guys look up at you like you had the entire world lying on your hand- your brother's best friend's working like an awakening in weird ways.

You finally sink down on him, letting out a sigh the more his length disappears into your cunt, stretching you out all the more, already hitting places you weren't sure would hit.

His pliant head falls back on the couch when he feels the warmth of your pussy- his jaw slacked, drool trickling down his chin as he lets out a strained moan. "Noona, noona I—"

The flaring of his nose is the last hint before you feel his hot semen spurt out inside you, and just when you think it's over, you feel a little more shooting up. You stare at the boy quizzically- you hadn't even moved yet and he already came.

Soobin raises his head, lower lip quivering, so obviously embarrassed by his premature orgasm. "I-i'm sorry noona, I didn't mean to- oh my god, what's gonna happen now? I can't take care of a baby I'm still in c-"

"Woah woah, Soobin, calm your ass, I'm on the pill."

He looks at you silent with a few confused blinks, before letting out an exhale of relief. You're still practically sitting on his dick, but you still find it in you to tease him after his panic ensues, "What? Were you gonna abandon me after impregnating me? Didn't think you'd be the type Soobin. Maybe even good boys can be such bitches."

The panic returns into his eyes as he shakes his head adamantly denying your attack of his character, "No! Noona, I wouldn't do that, I swear! I-i-"

"You what?" you cut him off harshly on purpose, slowly raising yourself to finally ride his twitching cock.

He immediately senses the movement, your attempt of being slow and careful failing. He squeezes his eyes shut, and you hiss disapprovingly. "Answer your noona Soobin, what would you do if you got me pregnant?"

"W-would take care of you." He whines when you fall back on his dick, a staggering breath out his mouth. You're not sure if he could even last a mere five minutes of you riding him.

"Yeah? Open your eyes for me baby."

He does as you say, though his lids are heavy over his eyes. His gaze once again finds your chest lewdly staring at the slight bounce, and before you know it, his hands are kneading your breasts again. "I would pamper you up noona, take you to all the five star restaurants." he breathes out.

You snort at his foolish promises, "With what money idiot? If anything, I'd be the one pampering you up, you're still a college student with student debt. You'd have to start working a lot more if you'd want to pamper me."

His eyes roll back when you speed up your pace on his dick for a brief second, "F-fuck, Noona--"

You feel his cock twitching inside you, and once again, strips of his cum rush into you. You wondered how much before you milked him dry? Because the boy was still as eager as ever, head going forward in attempt to latch his mouth on your nipple again, hips bucking up against your already steady pace. "I'd work ten shifts to provide for you and- mmf-- and our baby noona." he cutely muffles against your nipple.

You laugh—he was as naive as ever, but you appreciated the thought. You wrap your arms around his neck to steady yourself. Your finger twirls a strand of his black hair, the innocent act in direct opposition of the filthy sound of skin on skin, combined with Soobin's fresh load making it a lot more squelching, that bounced of the walls.

"Soobin, g-good boy, suck my tits like a good boy." Your breathing gets heavier, the way he fills you up is turning out to be a lot more addicting than you thought it'd be. You assumed pain, which yeah, it still was a little painful, but you got used to it very quickly able to start feeling the pleasure overwhelm your senses.

Soobin pulls away from your chest with a pop, slowly raising his head over your shirt to look at you. "Noona?" he calls out with half lidded eyes.

"Yeah?"

"You really don't have a boyfriend right?"

You're caught off guard with the question. Obviously if you had a boyfriend you wouldn't be riding his fucking dick.

He catches your miffed look and is quick to defend himself despite your pussy clenching around him, "I-it's just-hah! Fuck- noona, it's just someone was blowing up your phone earlier- and I didn't mean to peek but- cumming, I'm cumming noona!" he cries out, successfully letting out his words before he actually orgasms.

You had picked up your pace with every word he spoke, attempting to not ruin your own high, and sure enough, you reach it, cumming in unision with Soobin's, your head exhaustedly falling onto his shoulder, trying to catch your breath.

Under you, Soobin's body was shaking, still feeling spurts of his cum. "The contact name was Yeonjun."

Your daze snaps, head shooting up at the mention of your ex. "What?"

"He kept on calling so I thought that might've been your boyfriend...but then you told me he was your ex." he replies, voice hoarse you think as a result of his rather loud whines earlier.

"I wasn't lying Soobin, he really is my ex."

"I-i wasn't accusing you of lying it's just...I don't know, I thought that maybe..."

Your subconscious drowns out Soobin's rambling, still confused that Yeonjun was ringing you up in the first place. What for? Did he leave something that he forgot to take four months ago?

That wasn't likely. You remember the day he came over to take his things very vividly. With how urgently he looked, you figured Yeonjun was serious about his belongings.

So, what was it?

With Yeonjun, it was on and off. In a way that surely couldn't be healthy for either party involved. Which is the exact reason you mutually decided to break it off a few months ago, cutting off all contact. You even blocked his socials. Each one. Instagram, snapchat, twitter, facebook.

Except for the most important, most relevant way of contact- his phone number, of course. And look how that decision bit you in the ass. You're totally overthinking why Yeonjun decided to call you, and you will when you go to sleep later today, and then the day after and-

You're not falling down that rabbit hole again.

You start moving your hips again pushing through the uncomfortable feeling. Soobin was less resilient, a disapproving whine coming from the back of his throat when you grind in his lap, his dick still deep inside you rubbing between your walls. "Noona--" he shrieks, when you start bouncing again, this time a lot harshly as you bit down on your lip.

"No more, can't- nng-" you shut up his blabbles by stuffing your breast in his mouth again. Of course it did the job.

"Filthy boy, you'd probably enjoy sucking my tits when I'm lactating."

His teary eyes look up at you, needy and twinkling under the dim light that was the living room. He wasn't denying it. Instead, he swirls his tongue around your bud, clearly getting off the thought.

"Fuck, you really are filthy." you breath out. Speeding up your pace, Soobin's unable to stay latched onto your nipple, jaw-slacked, his brows pointing upwards, unable to urge you to stop. Instead, he helps you out by bucking his hips forward, slamming his dick inside you.

A knock on the door gets you to halt your movement. Soobin still moving erratically under you. But then you slap him gently, trying to get his attention. “I think i heard—“

The knock of the door cuts you off. Facing Soobin with a wide eyed look before you jolt off him, hurriedly looking for your underwear and shorts. You lost track of time, clearly! If Beomgyu finds out you fucked his best friend, you'd be done for. He'd hate you for life. Never talk to you again.

“Soobin hurry the fuck up and go answer!” You shout in a hushed voice, frantically pulling up your shorts.

He nods, the panic contagious as he stumbles around pulling up his pants. You take a second to look over him and you curse under your breath. His cheeks were flushed red, swollen lips glistening with spit, hair strands poking out all over- fuck, he looked bad.

You attempt to pat his hair down, at least to make it a little neater, but a third knock and you're sprinting towards a room, hiding behind your shut door.

You press your ears against your door, hoping to pick up how the conversation was going. A few beats of silence, and you finally hear the unlocking of the door after a few struggling attempts from Soobin.

“Who are you?" you furrow your brows- that wasn't your brother. "Oh wait, are you one of Beomgyu’s friends?”

It was Yeonjun.

At the realization, you crack your door open, trying to peek down the hallway. You didn't have a good view but you figured it'd do.

“Yeah? Who are you?” you hear Soobin ask, his breathing sounding like he just ran a marathon. You squeeze your eyes shut- could he at least try to mask what just happened? Be a little less obvious?

“Tell Y/N for me I came over. Say it was Yeonjun.” You catch the way Yeonjun's eyes visibly look up and down the younger boys state, wondering if he caught on. “Her boyfriend. Tell her her boyfriend came over.”

Soobin bites the insides of his cheeks in attempt to not bark back at the lie, opting to just nod. “Um, yeah, sure.”

Yeonjun nods, flashing him a smile before patting his shoulder. “You look rough buddy, take care.”

Sure enough, Beomgyu shows up right then and you out of instinct close your door shut when you recognize his mop hair. Though it seemed no matter what, you couldn't escape his annoyingly blaring voice. "Oh? Yeonjun? Hey dude, haven't seen you in a while."

Yeonjun greets him like they've been close since forever... which is total bogus, they barely talked. Yeonjun finally excuses himself because he was 'just leaving'. Leaving Soobin and Beomgyu alone.

You once again try to pry in their conversation, praying Soobin could play off the way he looked and you could finally head to the comfort of your bed.

"Sorry I took long, my bitch sister lied to me. Deadass had to walk five hours to get these- You good Soobin? You look sick."

You briefly smirk sinisterly at the fact that you got Beomgyu's ass, but then the cold sweat breaks out again because the stupid fuck noticed! And now, you're impatiently tapping your foot on the floor, awaiting Soobin's response.

"Yeah dude, sorry, um, I-I have to go use the bathroom."

Internally you slap your palm on your forehead- to hell with being convincing. Consequences of choosing Soobin out of all of Beomgyu's friends to fuck you guess.

a/n; feedback (or a reblog) is always appreciated on my end lol need me someone to talk about soobin and his breeding kink because it's definitely there. oh and how hes the biggest boob guy..i dont make the rules!!!

[emmyrosee]

doodoo fart 🦨 would you still love me if I was bald?

Rintaro doesn’t even get a chance to finish the water his sipping before he spits it back out, choking on it as he laughs aloud in front of his teammates.

The entire team turns to look at him, a brow cocked in confusion while he chuckles amongst himself.

Komori is the first to smile and chuckle himself, “something you’d like to share with the group, Suna?”

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before shaking his head, never being one to share your discussions with the group. He has an image, okay, and you being an absolute cracked menace is going to bring that image down one day- this, he’s convinced of.

“The better half’s just funny is all,” he says casually, watching his team begins to chatter once again in the locker room. Komori gives him an unconvinced, yet understanding look before letting him back to his phone where he’s finally able to face your

SENT is there something I need to be prepared for when I get home?

doodoo fart 🦨 depends on how you reply

would you

still love me

if i was bald

SENT I feel like this is a trap.

doodoo fart 🦨 you’re the one who leaves me alone all the time

im bound to fuck around when you’re gone.

Once again, Rintaro laughs to himself before he rises to excuse himself from the crowd. The possibility of you being bald is plenty to excite him and his amusement, wondering if you’ve done something unholy to your poor head.

He thinks you’d be hot with no hair. And wash days would just be such a breeze. Maybe there’s some merit to your potential madness.

He presses the small button to FaceTime you, settling up a small distance from the door- you’ve both been known to say some unsavory things, the last thing you need is to give Washio another reason to retire.

The phone rings once, twice, and a third before you answer, your ugly stunning face filling his screen. To his shame, his eyes immediately dart to the scalp of hair that still adorns your head, and he bites his lip as you cackle a victorious cheer.

He’s been duped by your stupid ass.

“I knew you’d take my bait,” you snicker. He laughs as he’s caught red handed, poking his tongue in the corner of his mouth while you laugh. “You think you’re soooo slick, like you aren’t obsessed with me. You aren’t shit, bro.”

“I’ve been letting you hang out with the twins too much,” he snickers, leaning against the brick wall of the stadium. “Though I would’ve scream-laughed if you answered the phone and was completely bald.” You snort and he cards a massive hand through his sweaty hair, “there a reason you triggered a panic response in me at-“ he pauses and looks at the clock in the corner of his phone “15:44 on a Tuesday?”

“Because you’re cute when you’re panicked,” you hum, and he gives you his signature blank stare before chuckling when you laugh. “I mean it! Your pupils go a little dilated, you card your hair until it’s all fluffy, and you get this adorable blush-“

“I got it, you pay attention to me,” he groans, hand scrubbing down his face. “You’re so embarrassing.”

“You love me so much, man.”

“Shut up-“

“Truly living rent free in that noggin.”

“I’m gonna tell Komori on you.”

“Good, he’ll tell you the same thing,” you snort, and Rintaro shakes his head, grinning, as a sign of waving his white flag. “Go back to practice, booger. I’ll bug you later.”

“Promise?” He says, smiling while you give him a fake gag.

“After that, I don’t know.”

“I’ll take those odds.” He chuckles again before murmuring a soft ‘love you’ and hanging up; he pockets his phone and makes his way back into the arena.

Bald or not, and as much as he hates to confess it, he does adore your stupid ass and the antics that come with it.

Ugh.

[dilatorywriting]

Monster Mayhem: Lion's Pride [PART 1]

Gender Neutral Reader x Leona Kingscholar Word Count: 3.8k

Summary: You fall into a hole. There is something in the hole. Something with teeth, and claws, and a garbage attitude to boot. Today is not your day.

[PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3]

Let it be known, that of all the ways you could have died in your miserable and unlucky life, falling into a pit trap had not been on the list. Or, well, if it was, it hadn’t even managed to crack the top ten. And that was what was making this whole ‘sudden demise’ thing feel really pathetic.

On top it also being an uncovered pit trap. No subterfuge or class to speak of. Just a big ol’ hole in the ground that you had waltzed straight into. Ace would keel over dead laughing if he ever found out.

It was a pretty nice trap all things considered. The walls were dug into some strange sort of stone rather than just packed earth, and rings of fresh talismans curled along its sides like hundreds of ugly finger paintings. Certainly something so impressive had not been built to catch some lowly, little, idiot such as yourself. But you were here now, so that was your captor’s problem.

You were wandering aimlessly around your new prison when you stepped on something weird, and long, and thin. You paused, brow furrowing in confusion, and glanced down at whatever had found itself wedged under your heel. And, hey. That was odd. It sort of looked like a—

There was a horrible, screeching, snarl, and you wheeled back in hysterical panic as an honest-to-god lion lunged from the shadows—jerking its tail out from beneath your boot and swatting at you with its absolutely massive claws that could definitely take your eyes out. And half of your face. And probably your brain too. You fell backwards on your ass in an ungraceful heap and immediately scurried back towards the opposite wall as fast as you could. You were one-hundred-percent ready for the lion to just follow you into your little corner and murder you dead, but instead, it just stood its ground—growling, and spitting, and whipping its tail back and forth like a rattlesnake.

The thing was absolutely massive—bigger than you thought a lion was supposed to be, at least. Weren’t they just, I don’t know, like the cat equivalent of wolves? Because you’d seen plenty of wolves before on the road, and they’d never been so… looming, in themselves. And size aside, the beast was just weird looking. With thick, ash-brown, fur cut through with strange, almost geometrical, whorls of black. Now, you didn’t know much about lions (they weren’t exactly native to your little, forested, corner of the continent, after all), but weren’t they supposed to be regal? Or something? With lush, red, manes and tan hides that glowed majestically under the sun’s light? Not some… scraggly looking monstrosity with too-large canines and limbs stained in black like it’d taken a hike through a field of ash.

Its eyes were the strangest part of all of it—a sharp, emerald, green that cut through the gloom of the pit with all the efficiency of a dagger. One of them was bisected with a thin scar that ran crookedly from brow-to-jaw. They were eyes that spoke of an intelligence that no animal ought to possess, let alone one that was perfectly capable of mauling you to death without the aid of functional brain cells.  

You continued your silent inspection of your new nemesis, and when your gaze hesitantly fell to its hind legs, you jolted in surprise.

Iron shackles.

Or, more specifically and horribly, a spike trap. A grim, metal, contraption that would snap into its victim like a vice, and then unfurl row upon row of jagged barbs—tangling them up like an unfortunate bug caught within the web of some really fucked up, sociopathic, spider.

You winced in sympathy, out of habitual concern for your fellow down-and-trodden if nothing else. The lion, with all its eerie intelligence, seemed to notice the pity flickering across your expression and put every single one of its too-sharp teeth on display. As if to say ‘how dare you?’  You held up your hands in surrender, hoping it looked placating and not threatening, and smooshed yourself even harder up against the wall.

After a few more moments of grumbly glaring, the beast dropped back down to the ground with a pissy huff and closed its eyes. Clearly, you weren’t worth the trouble—which was perfectly fine with you.

You gave yourself the rest of the evening to just lie around like a sad little slug and lick your wounds. Falling all that way had hurt, okay? And while the adrenaline rush of ‘oh shit, I’m going to be lunch’ had helped push away some of that initial pain, now that it was fading you could feel every twinge in your ribs, all the bruises climbing your back and the cuts littering your hands.

When the sun rose once more over the mouth of your prison, you stretched as best you could and prepared to make your escape.

Scaling the slippery, stone, walls had proved to be an instant failure. The rope in your pack wasn’t long enough to reach the top, and you smacked yourself in the face with the thing more times than you would like to admit. Trying to find grippy-bits to just crawl your way up the side like a bug hadn’t worked either. The first talisman you touched didn’t spark or bite at your fingers, but it had been seared into the stone with some sort of magic that made it slide like oil beneath your palms. And you’d plummeted back to the bottom with a lackluster thump. The lion had made some kind of huffing noise from its place in the corner, like it was laughing at you. And you fought the insane urge to flip off a creature that could just eat your entire hand in retaliation.

Next you rifled around in your pack, hoping for a miracle. You were pretty decent at throwing together little bits and bobs to create a cheap but generally functional solution. Like the time you’d rigged Deuce’s bow to spit stink bombs as it shot through the air, or when you’d managed to scrounge together a decent fishing-line trap out of Ace’s shoelaces to lure out a rogue pixie that had been cannibalizing your vegetable garden. But you’d only been heading into town for your monthly grocery trip, so the most you had on you were genuinely practical things. An emergency medical kit, a dagger, lock picks, some rations that lived at the bottom of your bag no matter where you went. Nothing nonsensical, and therefore nothing useful.

Your stomach gurgled irritably, and, well, maybe you had something useful after all.

You fished out some neatly wrapped bits of cured meats, and cheeses, and bread. You made yourself a tasty, little, sandwich, and hey? You know what? How many other Hole Prisoners could claim to have such phenomenal catering? Probably not many. You’d take that win, at least.

You were just about to take your first bite when your eyes guiltily swung towards the lion curled up and sleeping at the opposite end of your makeshift cell. It hadn’t even flicked its ears your way when you’d started to loudly rustle around in your bag. And it certainly hadn’t sniffed at the air or anything else dramatic like that when you’d unearthed your packed lunch. Which was… didn’t animals usually go nuts for tasty treats like this? The foxes that snuck around behind your cottage would scream like banshees if you didn’t toss them your leftovers. Even the bunnies that lived in the hole in the wall by your cellar had some food aggression issues.

You tore off a chunk of your sandwich and palmed it nervously.

Maybe if you fed it, it wouldn’t eat you quite so quickly.

You cautiously pushed the stack of toasty breads, and meats, and home-made cheese, towards the beast with the toe of your boot. When it didn’t move, you scooched the offering a smidge further, until it was nudging up against a paw.

The Lion lifted its great, dark, head to bare its teeth at you with a lazy twitch of the lip. You scuttled back as quick as you could, and once you were a fair distance away, it stopped glaring at you long enough to observe whatever you’d just shoved at it.

It nosed at the food with a level of apathy you didn’t think was even possible, before reaching out with a heavy, black, foot, to smoosh it ungratefully into the dirt.

“Hey!” you gasped, genuinely offended. Because you were just trying to be a polite cellmate, okay! Was that really so terrible?!

With a sharp little twist of its paw that looked far too dexterous for something its size, it speared through the meat with one of its curling claws, and raised that from the dejected pile of mush. It popped the chunk of cured ham into its mouth with a satisfied little grumble, and you felt your completely rational and not at all ridiculous discontentment ease. It lifted its head a little higher and its tail swished—not in the whipping, angry, way it had been the other day when you’d squashed it, but the gentle twitch of something closer to a cat lazing about contentedly in a windowsill. The lion kept looking at you then, with those too-cognizant eyes. You pulled another bit of meat from your sandwich and tossed it over. It caught it easily in its massive jaws with that same, contented, rumbling.

“I made that,” you beamed. Because you had. And it had taken you ages to balance out the perfect spice-salt-sugar combination for a proper cure.

The lion looked entirely unimpressed.

You sighed and sat back against the wall with a string of irritable mutterings. The lion made another one of those huffing noises, like it had earlier when you swore the thing was snickering at you. And then it closed its glowing, emerald, eyes and slipped back into its seemingly never-ending nap.

The rest of the afternoon and evening passed in relative peace. Despite its lackluster (read: fucking rude) response to your earlier offering, come dinner time, you still slid the beast a makeshift plate stacked high with meat. It ate the food without complaint, which was better than outright scoffing at you, you supposed. You started to hum some nonsense under your breath, just for something to do, and the lion made a noise like you were physically torturing it. So instead you shifted to folding and refolding the scrap bits of parchment paper from your wrapped rations into ugly, veritably unidentifiable, origami shapes. This was apparently deemed acceptable, as the lion just sighed and rolled over to make itself comfortable for the night. Irritably, you flicked one of the little flowers you’d made at its dumb face. But it shot wide and landed somewhere off by its paws. The beast didn’t even bother to twitch its ear at you.  

The next morning came with little fanfare, and you stared longingly up at the warm light of the dawn.

Your eyes once more roved across the spiraling talismans dripping from the walls, and the great, iron, trap that certainly wouldn’t have belonged to any ordinary sort of hunter.

“You’re not a real lion, are you?” you asked, and the thing had the nerve to roll its eyes at you. You bristled and again had to tamp down the urge to do something very, very, stupid, and which would no doubt end in your immediate disembowelment. “Yes, yes. Laugh it up. I only mean that because—I mean, you can understand me, can’t you?”

Another long, slow, eye roll. Like it was making damn well sure you could see.

It was a lot harder to bite down your anxious ticks and ramblings when you knew you were speaking to something that could maybe speak back, rather than just a wild animal trapped at the bottom of a hole (there was a very good reason you lived in a quaint little cottage in the middle of fucking nowhere), but you grit your teeth and soldiered on.

“Alright then. Fine. I just wanted to say then. Well. I mean—I could… You know.”

When you held out the lockpicks from your bag, the beast’s eyes lit with genuine interest for the first time in this entire nightmare situation, and a teeny bit of your nerves eased.

You gestured to the spike trap entangling its legs and the lion turned to sneer at the mess of sharp ends with a genuinely bone chilling snarl.

“I can probably get that off—unlock the mechanisms, I mean,” you explained. “But you have to, you know—” You made a theatrical imitation of gnashing teeth over the meat of your forearm, “—not eat me.”

The Lion sat up on its haunches and its tail twitched restlessly at its side. After a long moment where you were genuinely concerned that the thing would rather eventually justbleed out and die in its trap rather than let you touch it, the lion raised its head and perked its ears in an imperious sort of way. And then it dipped its chin—a nod.

You scooched forward cautiously, pausing every few feet or so to make sure the thing wasn’t going to change its mind and maul you. The Lion just huffed at you, and shifted to give you better access to the horrible agglomeration of cold metal twisted around its limbs. You reached out carefully, the picks a light, familiar, weight in your hands. It was certainly a complicated looking contraption, but you’d yet to encounter something you weren’t able to break with enough force of will and sheer, dumb, luck. So you grit your teeth and got to work.

After a few minutes of poking, the first spiral of jagged spikes loosed with a rusty groan and the lion noticeably perked up—like it was shocked you’d managed anything at all. You decided very resolutely that you weren’t going to allow yourself to be offended by the implied emotions on the face of an animal, and continued your work. Your tongue poked out of the corner of your mouth as you focused, intent, and slowly—steadily—the barbed monstrosity gave way beneath your gentle fiddling. Every now and again, one of the spikes would ease itself from the lion’s hide, and you had to fight the urge to fuss over the oozing, painful, wounds that were exposed. You were almost there, you reminded yourself feverishly. Just a little more, and—

The last of the iron fell away with an echoing clatter, and immediately the lion reared up with a roar. But instead of lunging at you and your very accessible throat like you feared, it crouched back on its battered hind limbs and craned its head towards the open hole above your heads, and the blue, sunny, sky beyond. A swirl of strange, sandy, magic began to seep from the beast’s mane. The green of its eyes glowed hot and bright amidst the outpour of arcane energy, like the sole light in a storm. And then its fur was fading, its limbs cracking and groaning as they folded in on themselves into something more contained—more bipedal. The strange, geometric, patterns along its coat rippled like living things. They expanded and contracted as the creature did, before eventually settling into some new pattern that you hadn’t seen before.

And there, standing before you now, was a man. Tall, and lithe, and tan. With a head full of thick, dark, hair that looked startling like the mane that had just poofed from existence—except now it was twisted through with braids, and precious gems, and the occasional patchwork of beads and leather. The inky shapes settled themselves along his biceps, curling into the skin contentedly as if they’d lived there all along. There was still a pair of tufted, feline, ears atop his head, and a long, thin, tail whipping back and forth at his rear. His teeth were still much too sharp, and those eyes of his much too feral. He observed his clawed limbs with distaste, letting out a sigh that seemed to rattle his bones.

“Of course it’s still fucked,” he grumbled. His voice was deeper than you were expecting—smoother, too. Like it was meant to belong to someone regal and powerful, someone doling out orders and ruling nations. Not a sad, little, half-man-half-lion trapped at the bottom of a pit with an ever sadder, littler, human.

After a minute or two of what was clearly some very displeased inner reflection, he raised his hands over his head. A pale, dusty, magic swirled along his fingers, not dissimilar to the stuff that had coiled out from his furs. You watched in awe as one by one, the talismans began to burn away—disintegrated into nothing.

Once he had finished utterly decimating what had once been a nearly foolproof trap, he turned and looked down at you for a long, tense, moment with an expression that you couldn’t quite place.

And then he was leaping out of the hole with all the grace of a hurricane—tearing through stone and dousing you in waves of dust and debris as he went. His claws tore into the sides of his prison like it was made of paper, leaving deep, jagged, gashes in their wake. Some of the wall seemed to melt beneath his attacks—collapsing into a thin, sandy, mess beneath the weight of his irritation. With one, final, swipe that shook the pit from base to rim, he leapt out of the dug-in prison cell entirely and vanished from your line of sight. Lo, the Angry Lion Man was free at least. And you? Well—

“Hey!” you shouted after him, enraged. “Thanks for nothing, asshole!”

And so, despite all your hardships and good deeds, you were still stuck at the bottom of a fucking hole.

You stomped around for a bit, kicking at rocks and ranting at nothing. Once you’d tired yourself out enough to think a bit more rationally, you sat back and took stock of your continuing predicament. With the talismans burnt out, you might be able to try climbing out again without slipping down in the messy remnants of gooey, protective, spells. And actually, the guy had destroyed quite a bit of the stone in his rampage. There were enough tall heaps of fresh rubble that you’d probably have plenty of leverage to try and use your rope again.

So you went around collecting all your little scraps of paper, your meager personal items, and any bits of fabric that had been scraped off in the initial tumble. With traps as intricate and expensive as this, it was better not to leave behind any traces of one’s presence. Just in case the owner of said trap tried to go sniffing around for his lost quarry.

The rope ended up being a resounding success, and you hauled yourself out of the pit with a surprising amount of ease.

Once you were out, you breathed in the clean, crisp, air and looked around. Absolutely no sign of Mister Lion-Shifter to speak of. Or, well, there was a clear trail of dusty destruction leading towards the forest, so you would assume he’d run off somewhere in that direction. But you were well and truly alone again.

You shook your fist at the tree line for good measure, before turning around and starting the miserable trek back home.

.

.

Everything was as it had been when you left. Your chickens were quite happy to see you, happier yet obviously to be fed. You greeted the various other woodland residents that had taken to living out of your ramshackle little home (the foxes in particular were quite happy to nibble on the remaining scraps of bread and cheese in your bag). Your garden looked a little munched on, but nothing too terrible. All and all, things were… fine. It was honestly a bit underwhelming.

Later that afternoon when you were dumping out your bag to give it a good clean and restock, a dozen little, horrible, paper creations fluttered down to your kitchen table. You decided you would keep them, ugly as they were, as a kind of trophy for making it out of the Hole in one piece. Look at me, world. I—nothing more than a humble idiot—managed to survive in a Pit Trap alongside some sort of Skin Changing, lion, man. Who only almost mauled me twice. And here are the paper blobs to prove it.

Except—huh. That was a bit strange. You’d made a nice little flower too, hadn’t you? The one that you had tried (and failed) to shoot into the lion’s face. It had been the only piece that looked even halfway like it was supposed to. You’d checked every bit of the hole pretty thoroughly before you’d escaped, so certainly you would have scooped it up. After a moment of silent fretting, you shrugged and deposited the others into a nice, glass, jar. It had probably just been buried beneath the rubble or something.

.

.

Something had spooked your birds. You frowned out the window and into the rain. It was a gloomy, grey, day, and normally all your little farm friends would hunker down in their wooden huts to avoid the drizzle. But you could hear the geese honking and the chickens squawking in that indignant way of theirs as they flapped around and made a general nuisance of themselves.

There was a hard knock at your front door—a heavy, sharp, rap-tap-tap against the aged frame that sounded entirely unfriendly. You snuck a glance through the little, round, porthole and nearly doubled over in shock. You yanked the door open before you could think better of it, and there on your front porch, looking half-drowned and wholly grouchy, was the Lion Man.

His emerald gaze settled on you like a tangible thing that you could feel digging along your shoulders. His lips quirked up into a loose smirk that was entirely feline in its smug satisfaction and unfairly attractive. Especially considering he looked like someone had dunked him in a lake. His round, tufted, ears flicked irritably beneath each drop of rain.

Your brain whirled into overdrive, coughing up wave after wave of scenarios—each more outlandish than the next. Maybe he had come to eat you, to get rid of any witnesses. Or maybe this was the start of some epic quest, like you’d managed to save some Skin Changer Prince or something and were now due to be swept up in some wildly entertaining political drama. Or maybe he had come to thank you finally, after abandoning you so outright. To grovel and apologize for leaving the person who had so selflessly rescued him.

“Well, herbivore?” he huffed instead, crossing his arms irritably over his chest and rolling his eyes at you in a way that was far too familiar. “Aren’t you going to invite me in? It’s wet out here.”

You smiled—perfectly, utterly, serene. And slammed the door in his face.

.

.

.

TAG LIST [CLOSED]

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[via-l0ve]

Would You Love Me If I Was A Worm? (Spn headcannons)

a/n: Call me cringe all you want, i know this trend is old but i love it lol. also, i am getting to requests but i thought this was cute and i wanted to do it! <3

warnings: not really much, use of y/n and swearing. Characters and reader talk back and forth and i hope it’s not too confusing lol

characters included: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Crowley

reminder that i am accepting requests for spn, but check my boundary page <33

Dean:

- he thinks for like two seconds before just nodding.

- “yeah, probably.”

- “i don’t know how i’d kiss you though. what if i accidentally kissed your ass?”

- “I know you wouldn’t mind if you accidentally kissed my worm-ass.”

- “what the hell are you guys talking about?” - a tired Sam

- dean rethinks his statement after like two days and just randomly brings it up again

- “y/n, if you were a worm you could NOT sit in the impala. i don’t want your worm juices on my seats.”

- “oh my god. what if i stepped on you by accident?”

- “this is too much responsibility.” he is overwhelmed LMFAOO

- he would love you if you were a teeny tiny bug

Sam

- huh

- flabbergasted

- “say it again?”

- “why are you asking? do you plan on turning into a worm?”

- “no. just curious.”

- he gives you the whole pros and cons

- “we would have a language barrier separation :(“

- thinks about it for a good ten minutes

- “i think it would be too sad, y/n.”

- “what! so you wouldn’t love me? :(“

- “no, no! i would love you i just don’t think we could have a relationship. it would be weird.”

- “SAMMY?”

- “IM SORRY Y/N!”

- in denial smh

- what a loser/j

- he’d love you but it would be a star-crossed lovers type thing i guess smh

Castiel:

- looks at you and tilts his head to the side

- “i would never let you turn into a worm, y/n.”

- “okay but what if i did?”

- “i suppose i’d care for you and feed you?”

- “so would you love me?”

- “maybe?”

- he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit

- “i know a lot of languages. i could learn worm-talk for you.”

- i love him

- you mean so much to him that nothing, not even wormdom, would stop him from loving you.

- AW

Crowley

- “a worm?”

- “yeah.”

- “hell no. they’re slimy and gross.”

- “CROWLEY!”

- “well it’s true, love.”

- he’s honest 🤷‍♀️

- “you’re so mean :(“

- “well you’re not a worm, love. so we have nothing to worry about.”

- “but what if i turned into a worm one day?”

- he js shakes his head

- “how could a worm date a demon? i’d accidentally kill you and your small invertebrate self!”

- “we could make it work!”

- “love.”

- he’s tired LMFAO

- “what would our wedding look like? ugly. that’s what it would look like.”

- “crowley!!”

[somanyratsinthewalls]

I know you already said you'd do it... BUT maybe could I request a standalone fic (not a kinktober one) of a Franky x Reader x Robin fic with daddy/mommy kink, sub!virgin!AFAB!reader

idk if you ship frobin though but if you want to feel free to add that in!

YEAH BABY THIS HAS BEEN FLOATING IN MY MIND EVER SINCE I SAW THAT POST!!! I need more Franky Fuckers in my life. I have zero ships in One Piece EXCEPT FROBIN! They are clearly so in love I can't stand it. Here's the fic, I love it.

Sex Education

Pairing: Robin x afab!reader x Franky

TW: threesome, cyborg banging, misuse of devil fruit powers, girl on girl, two girls one guy, fingering, riding, face sitting. porn!

——

“That color is ugly.” Nami comments at the shade of light green you had chosen to paint you toenails. 

“Is it really that bad?” You lean back and admire your half painted foot. It shimmered in the sunlight on the deck of the ship. 

“Looks like barf.” Nami didn’t look up from her work, carefully painting her own nails a dark shade of pink. 

“Well now that you’ve said that, I can’t unthink it. Do you have the polish remover?” You ask.

“I think Robin has it in her room, you can go grab it, puke-toes.” Nami laughed. 

You roll your eyes and stand up. You begin to head towards the inside of the ship in search of the nail polish remover. You reach Robin’s bedroom door and grab the handle and open the door. You three girls were best friends at this point, knocking was a moot point. 

“Hey, Nami said my toes were ugly so can I just grab the-“ 

Your eyes immediately meet Robin’s as she gasps. Fully nude, she is seated on Franky’s lap who was also shed of his swim briefs. His huge hands cradled her pale, plump ass. A slight sheen of sweat covered her forehead as her arms wrapped around his massive neck. 

“Y/n!” Robin yelps out at you. 

“OH my god?! I’m so sorry!” You stutter out and slam the door shut behind you and run back up through the ship. Your mind was racing. Franky and Robin? A thing? I mean… it makes sense the more you think about it… but seeing it first hand was still a bit jarring. Were other people here having sex? Were you the only one who had never done it before? Is this something you were missing out on?

You burst through the door to the deck where Nami was fanning her drying nails. 

“Woah where’s the fire, y/n?” Nami asked you, noticing your panicked expression. 

“Nami I- I went to get the nail polish remover- and I? I don’t know! The door wasn’t locked! I just went in! And she- and they- they were…!” You were out of breath and couldn’t get out a coherent thought. 

“Oh, walked in on Franky and Robin? Yeah they’re like rabbits lately. Good for them, honestly.” Nami went back to fanning her nails. 

“Wait… you knew?” You couldn’t believe it. 

“Duh? Are you that oblivious? Why do you think they’re always mysteriously absent after dinner? Jeez you need to get laid.” Nami rolled her eyes. 

“Wait… are YOU fucking someone!? Is everyone here having sex but me?!” Your eyes bugged out of your head. Were you the only (human) virgin left on this ship? Sure you had urges, but you always just took care of it yourself in the quiet of your own room late at night. 

“Not since that last island, no. Nobody on the crew, obviously, pickings are way too slim. I made out with Sanji once when I was wasted but he was such a bad kisser I told him to get fucked. It was all wet and gross.”

“Really he was that bad—? Wait come on, you’re getting laid too? Is everyone else?!” You returned to the point of your questioning. 

“I mean yeah, y/n, we all have needs. Except for Zoro… I think there’s something seriously wrong with his brain. Sex is great, especially with someone who knows what they’re doing.” Nami gave you the truth. Maybe it was time for you to finally explore your sexuality…

You both turned your heads as a door swung open. A red-faced Robin smiled meekly at the two of you as she walked towards you and sat down at your side. 

“You need to start using those hands to lock doors, girlfriend.” Nami chuckled and rose to her feet. She winked at the both of you and headed into the kitchen. 

“Hi y/n… So… I’m sorry about that. I should have been more careful. It was a private moment and I apologize for you having to see it.” She genuinely searches your eyes for forgiveness. 

“it.. it’s okay. I just didn’t know you guys were together like that…” You blush and look down at your feet. Robin smiled. 

“He’s sweet. I know we might not look like we’d work out, but I find him quite charming actually!” Robin’s eyes sparkled. “And the sex is phenomenal.”

“Oh.. I… um… I wouldn’t know…” You felt your cheeks continue to heat up. 

“Are you a virgin, y/n?”

“Yes.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, talking mostly to yourself. You continue. “It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose… I’m plenty old enough and I’ve thought about it loads… I just… haven’t had the right opportunity…” 

“Well… If you really wanted to change that… I’m sure we could help you.” Robin takes your hand in hers. You look up into her eyes, they were kind and warm. 

“What?” You were confused as to what kind of help she was offering you. 

“If you wanted to experience sex with people you trust for your first time, I have no doubt Franky would jump at the opportunity. I would be there too, of course, to guide you. We’re very… open… to new experiences… if you’re understanding what I’m saying.” 

“Oh…” Your eyes widen. It might be a good idea to finally get that awkward first time out the way, especially with someone you trust and know well. “I mean… yes? Sure. I guess I’m saying yes.”  

“Perfect.” Robin squeezes your hand. “How about tonight? After dinner? My room?”

You nod. You can’t believe you’re casually agreeing to lose your virginity to two of your closest friends. 

— —

That night, after dinner, you excused yourself from the table a little early so you could freshen yourself up. You took a quick shower, shaving your legs and trimming your bush, washing your hair with the most expensive shampoo you could find in the Sunny’s shared bathroom. After the shower you dried your hair and slathered your body in lotion. You felt like you were getting dolled up for a date, not a dick appointment. 

You perused your closet for something to wear. You wanted to look comfy and casual, but still sexy… wait why were you overthinking this? You had known Robin and Franky for years, who were you trying to impress? You shook yourself out of your racing thoughts and settled on a black pair of knee length spandex bike shorts and a black cropped tee. You finished your hair and applied a bit of makeup before spritzing yourself with perfume. You looked at yourself in the mirror. 

“Ok y/n. You can do this. It’s your totally normal friends who are a robot and someone with devil fruit powers who are going to take your virginity. This is fine and normal. Your life is normal.” After a few minutes of hyping yourself up, you make your way to Robin’s room. You take a deep breath and knock on the door a few times, remembering to knock this time after your intrusion earlier. 

Robin quickly opens the door with a bright smile.

“Y/n! Come in! Are you thirsty? I have some wine.” She grabs your hand and pulls you into her room. Franky was relaxing in a large armchair against the wall facing the bed. 

“Hey pretty thing! So good to see ya!” He beamed at you with a cola in his hand. 

“Hi Frank, sorry about earlier…” You meekly apologize and stared at the floor. 

“Hey no problem! Sorry ya had to walk in on me and the lady like that without warning.” Franky pushed his sunglasses up on his head and took a sip of his beverage. 

“Here, y/n.” Robin shoved a large glass of white wine into your hand. She clinked her own glass with yours and winked. “Come sit.” 

Robin retreated to her bed and patted a spot next to her for you to sit down. You took a big gulp of your drink and sat next to her on the fluffy purple comforter. 

“So I was just telling Franky that you’re a virgin.” Robin states casually as she sips her wine. You choke on yours. 

*cough* “Oh um.. yeah…” *cough*  “I’ve never done anything really…” You sheepishly say as you catch your breath. 

“Wow, someone as gorgeous as you? I’d had never guessed. Well don’t you worry sweet thing, we’ll take care of you real nice, right mama?” The cyborg smirks and leans back in his chair. 

“Of course daddy, we’re going to make sure she feels so good.” Robin uses her free hand to start stroking your upper arm. 

“Oh, so we’re like- doing this? Now? Okay uh-“ You stutter out. 

“Well, whenever you’re ready, sweet girl. You’re just so pretty I can’t help myself.” Robin scoots herself closer to you on the bed and starts playing with the hem of your crop top. “Can I take your clothes off? I can take mine off too, if that’ll help you feel more comfortable.” Robin purrs into your ear. 

“O-okay…” 

Robin pulls your shirt over your head, breasts falling and bouncing against your chest. She then slips off your shorts, making you fully nude in front of them. 

“Wow sweet cheeks, no bra or panties? And pierced nipples? Such a little minx.” Franky remarks at your lack of undergarments. You blush at the comment about your piercings.

Robin stood up and pulled her dress over her head. 

“Isn’t she cute?” Robin smiles at you and back at Franky as she slips her panties down her legs and unhooks her bra. Her incredible rack was staring you straight in the face and you unconsciously rubbed your legs together in excitement. Her body was so gorgeous and toned, you wanted to feel it on top of you. 

With both of you completely naked, Robin sits next to you again on the bed. “May I kiss you, y/n?” Robin asks, bringing her hand to your chin. 

“Yes…” You whisper, meeting her gaze. You close your eyes as she leans into you. Her kiss is soft, her lips are buttery and smooth. After a brief moment of pressing her lips to yours, she begins rolling her tongue along your lower lip, silently asking for you to open your mouth. You oblige and she slips her tongue into your mouth to explore it eagerly. You bring your hand up to cup the side of her neck. 

“Mmph!” You huff out in surprise as she slid one of her hands up to your breast and experimentally toyed with your nipple. You continue to make out as her hands play and squeeze at your breasts. Robin pulls back from your lips, continuing her ministrations on your tits, rolling the silver barbells in her fingers.   

“You’re so sensitive, little one, can’t wait to see what else turns you on.” Robin giggles. 

“Spread her legs, mama, wanna see that cute little pussy.” Franky prompts her from his chair. 

Quickly, Robin is behind you, your back pressed against her ample chest. She gentlly takes your calves and hooks them over her spread legs so you were fully exposed for your robot lover. She begins open mouth kissing on your neck from behind and you sigh at the feeling. 

“Can I touch you, y/n? Is this okay so far?” Robin whispers into your ear. 

“Yes… I want you to touch me…” You whimper out, body aching for more contact. 

“But no one has ever touched you here… right? Maybe just yourself?” She slid one of her hands down to cup your mound. Her voice became more sinister. Your face and ears were bright red, feeling embarrassed but your sexual desires were too strong so you pushed the feeling aside. 

“Just me, Robin… no one else…” 

“hmm… So you know what you like? How about this? Do you play with your little clit like this?” Robin coos at you as she begins to apply pressure to your throbbing bud and rub it in circles, your pussy was leaking at this point. 

“Hnnnnn, yes! Yes I like this!” You whine out. 

Robin continues slowly rubbing your clit and kissing your neck. She uses her free hand to pinch your nipples. Wait, was that a third hand? You looked down and you had one hand touching your sex and two on your breasts. You had never thought about it before but her devil fruit powers were certainly useful in this situation. 

“You two look so super like this…” Franky lowly slurs out as he takes another sip of his drink from across the room. “You know she won’t be able to take me if you don’t stretch her first mama…” He adds. 

“I’m getting to it… let me enjoy her first. You’re so impatient my love. Don’t forget who’s in charge here. I want to make it special.” Robin teasingly scolds her boyfriend as she doesn’t falter in her movements against your clit. 

“Mmmm- more please! Wan’ more!” You wanted to feel something inside of you, having been worked up by Robin’s hands. 

“Aww what a sweet baby. I can give you more.” Another hand appeared and one slender digit slid into your aching hole. 

“Robin!” You gasp out and lean your head back on her shoulder. She slowly dipped her finger in and out of your cunt as you moaned in pleasure. She added another finger and you yelped. 

“Have you made yourself cum like this, y/n?” 

“Yes- nnghh! But you’re! You’re so much better! Ah!” You breath out as she pulls and taps on your sweet spot with her soft fingers. 

“You’re too kind, baby.” Robin smiles down at you on her shoulder. “Daddy is pretty big, sweet girl, so I’m going to have to add another finger, okay?” She has another hand stroking your hair. 

“O-okay… Fuck!” Robin adds a third finger into your weeping cunt and bullies them all into your spot. You felt a familiar yet stronger feeling build up in your lower half. You were sighing and moaning as you look towards Franky in the armchair. He had shed his minimal clothing and there was a hand sprouting from the chair and stroking his large cock. You had no idea how that was going to fit inside you, although your mouth watered at the sight of it. It was cut, thick, and gorgeous. Your orgasm was so close. 

“I think- I think I’m gonna cum, Robin! I wanna cum!” 

“Go ahead and cum, sweetheart, want you to feel so good….” She continues her work on your pussy as you slam your eyes shut in pleasure. You feel your orgasm rip through your body and spill out onto Robin’s hands. You moan out loudly. She slowly pulls out her hand and rubs your cunt comfortingly. 

“That was so good, little one! You’re so wet and open, I think you’re ready to take daddy now.” There was a glint of mischief in her voice as she stroked the sides of your arms and kissed your cheek. 

“You… you think?” You were hazing coming down from the powerful orgasm that Robin had just given you. 

“Mhmm.” Robin kissed you on the forehead. “Come here daddy, lay down.” She nodded towards her cyborg lover. 

“Showtime, ladies!” Franky laid down on the bed, as you were sure he had done hundreds of times. “Hop on up, little one!” He beckons you with a large hand. You collect yourself and straddle his huge hips. 

“I.. I don’t… I don’t really know what to do, should I-?” You sputter out, your eyes darting from Robin’s and Franky’s. 

“Let me help, sweetheart… You ready?” Robin leans forward and grabs Franky’s thick cock and lines it up with your soaking hole. You nod.

Another hand grabs your hip and begins to lower you down onto Franky’s dick. 

“Ahh! It’s too much!” You felt the sting of his fat member stretching you out as it entered your virgin cunt. 

“It’s okay! It’s okay just take it slow, okay?” Robin was kissing your upper arm as she guided you down further onto the man below you. “I’m right here…” 

You mewled and whined as you slowly took Franky inch by inch. Eventually you felt your muscles relax as your body was flush to his. He was fully seated inside you. 

“You did it! You did it, y/n! Mommy and daddy are so proud of you! Look how pretty you are with a cock inside you!” Robin gleefully released your hip to tilt your head down to look at where Franky’s dick was balls deep in your little hole. 

“Ohhhh pretty girl, you’re so TIGHT!” Franky exclaimed as he grabbed your hips with both hands. “Never felt anything like this!” He praised you as he rubbed loving circles into your pelvis. 

“I.. I did it…” You were breathless, never having felt so full in your life. 

“Can I fuck her now, mama? Please?” Franky looked up at Robin, pleading to be able to wreck you. 

“Yes, daddy, but don’t scare her off now. Be gentle.” Robin captured your lips in a soft kiss to distract you from her boyfriend planting his feet and beginning to thrust upwards into your tight hole. 

“OH- Robin! Ah!” You moaned against her lips as your lover began to rut into you from below. It was so big and rubbing against your sweet spot so deliciously. 

“I know sweetie, I know. You’re doing so good, taking daddy’s cock so well!” Robin cooed as she pulled back from your lips. 

“Come on mama, take your seat. I want both!” Franky panted out as he thrust into your pussy. 

Robin giggled as she moved to hover over Franky’s face and sat down on his waiting tongue. Robin sighed as she felt his tongue move against her wet folds. She leaned forward into you and wrapped her arms around your neck as you continued getting speared by Franky’s cock. 

“Isn’t this mmhmmm- nice, y/n?” She mewled out as Franky sucked on her clit. 

“AH YES!” You shrieked out, feeling your belly begin to tighten again. You felt a hand rubbing your sensitive, engorged clit. You felt two more hands pinching and pulling at your sensitive nipples. You felt two more hands squeezing your ass cheeks in addition to the large metal ones clutching your hips desperately. There was so much stimulation from every direction you could barely take it. Robin captured your lips in a messy kiss. 

“Come on girls, I can’t take much more of this!” Franky shouted from underneath you both, he was clearly affected by your tight wetness. 

“I want to kiss her for a little, be patient, daddy.” Robin pulled away briefly to scold him playfully. She dives back in to your swollen, wet lips. You grab the back of her head with both hands, the pleasure driving your boldness. The lewd wet slurping of Franky on Robin’s pussy was causing you to clench on the dick inside of you. Robin was keening and moaning into your mouth and you had never seen anything so hot. 

“Fuck daddy, I’m going to cum. Want to cum with me, little one?” Robin looks you in the eye and continues her work on your sensitive bits. 

“YES! Fuck I’m right there, please daddy!” You shriek out.

“Soak me, cum on me, ‘wanna feel it!” Franky pushes into you as far as he can go and your body spasms and creams all on his robot cock. You scream out in pleasure. Robin moans his name as she, too, finishes all over him. His blue hair was soaked in Robin’s gushy release. Robin kisses you deeply as you both finish your orgasms. 

“Let me fill her, please mama, wanna stuff her so bad!” Franky begged his partner from underneath you. 

“Of course daddy, anything you want.” Robin moved off his face and pinched his nipples to encourage his finish. 

“FUUUUCK-“ Franky groaned loudly as he spilled himself deep inside your no-longer-virgin pussy. You fell forward, burying Franky’s face in your sweaty breasts. You were so dick drunk you couldn’t move. 

“Come on little one, let’s get you tucked into bed.” Robin lifted you off Franky’s cock with her strong arms and laid you down under the covers. 

“Th-thank you guys…” You whisper out. 

“Hey, after that? I’ll let you join me and the lady ANY time!” Franky proceed to tuck both you and Robin into her comforter and head out to finish his repairs for the evening. 

“Robin that was… so incredible…” You stroked her jaw as you laid in bed facing each other. 

“Well sweetie, if you want to part of our little arrangement, I think we could make it happen…” Robin giggled at you as she raked her fingers through your hair. 

“Maybe we can talk about it tomorrow…” And you drifted off to sleep. 

[gavi4me]

7 minutes in heaven

Pt.1 Pt.2 pt. 3

Characters; Ferran - as himself; Pedri - as himself; Gavi - as himself; Ansu - as himself; you - y/n; Sara - your friend; Ana - your friend

Warnings - slightly smutty, cockblock, asshole pedri, ansu, & Ferran, little angst, fluff, cursing

Likely typos cuz at the time of writing this it is quite late where I live so I am basically half asleep while writing this….

“Gavi you can go suck a dick” you yelled at him, walking off angrily to your car. Pedri followed you outside, wondering why you had just blown up.

“I don’t want to talk about it” you yelled angrily, not turning your head to face him, getting into your car.

“Come on just tell me what happened.”

“God pedri. Leave me alone.”

You slammed the door shut, taking off almost immediately.

He stood there like an idiot, not moving until you were out of his view. What has that asshole done now he thought?

You were in the post-breakup ‘bliss’, just wanting to make your ex jealous so you went out to a club with all your friends, not realizing they had invited Pablo to tag along. You had always hated gavi. Ever since you guys had met on the first day of the 7th grade when he transferred to your school. You tried to be nice and become friends with him until you noticed his arrogant, annoying, and overly confident personality that worked like bug spray, making you stay, or at least try to stay as far away as possible. Didn’t work however ever as both his and your parents became good friends, often inviting each other for dinners and eat outs. Since your parents were friends, they assumed the same with you and Pablo, often forcing you to carpool with them when your parents couldn’t pick you up. Occasionally even sleeping over, though this only lasted till year 10, your parents knowing hormones were going around and not wanting you two to do any mischief. As if! Not that his parents weren’t nice. It’s the thing they created that you hated. You hated how he always bragged about being good at football and someday becoming pro. You hated how he nonstop talking about how his jawline was perfect and how he had a 6 pack and how every girl would want him soon enough, including yourself, if god forbids you gain crush on him. When they’d invite you over for dinner, you and Pablo would go into his room and sit there awkwardly while Pablo would juggle his football, seemingly trying to show off. He always was rude to you. Calling you fat when you were going through some hard times, always aiming for you during dodgeball first, specifically the head, and now. During the party he had made a senseless joke about how you walked in on your ex with another girl saying, “okay at least woman want me. How bad at sex can you be for your 3 year boyfriend to cheat on you with some donkey ass looking girl.”. He joked and laughed but you had enough. You had slapped him hard. “You are a vile, vile person Pablo gavira. Go fuck yourself.” Is what you said before slapping him again a finally leaving. “I don’t have to. All the women at my feet will, unlike you who can’t seem to find a fuck buddy for the life of you.” This all lead up to this situation.

~ a couple months later ~

It had been a while since you’ve last seen Pablo gavi, going on with your life like nothing ever happened. Yeah maybe sometimes you thought about what he had said. And MAYBE cried yourself to sleep knowing he thought you were ugly, but still. You felt at peace with yourself finally.

You had been invited to ansu’s house for a party, only being told that a bunch of people would be there. Not specifying who.

~

You walked into a lively party, music blasting from a couple of speakers. People scattered around on ansu’s furniture. Some talking, some dancing, some making out. You tried finding Ansu, instead you bump into someone. You landed on a hard chest, placing your hand on it to stabilize yourself.

“Oh my ba-“ you cut yourself off when you finally noticed who it was you were apologizing to. Gavi. Quickly you wiped your shirt with your hands and borderline ran away, feeling his eyes on you but not saying anything.

The rest of the night was awkward. You two exchanging glances multiple times. He didn’t seem to be as bothered as you. He was talking with other people, dancing, laughing, smiling, everything like that. You on the other hand we’re sitting on the couch with a cup of beer in one hand and your jaw in the other, resting your elbow on your knee as you people watched.

Your friends Sara and Ana were talking the whole night next to you, not bothered to ask what had happened knowing you were quite stubborn when it came to telling people stuff.

“Do you guys want to play 7 seconds of heaven?” Ansu suddenly proposed to the group who had gathered around the couch you were sitting on.

“Yeah I’m down.” Pedri said with a beer bottle in one hand and his phone in the other.

“Anyone else?” Ansu asked. “We can’t just play us two”. Ferran, gavi, Sara, Ana, and i all agreed on playing. We spread out on the many couches ansu had as he went to his coat closet it find a hat.

Ansu wrote our names on small pieces of paper before dropping them into the hat.

“Okay our first two are….” He moved his hand in the hat, picking up a name. You already weren’t having fun tonight but to spice it up you decided to play, praying to god it wasn’t you.

“Y/n” he announced placing it on the coffee table. Everyone starred at you smiling, knowing you hadn’t been too active ever since your breakup with your 3 year boyfriend.

“I hope it’s Pablo…” Sara whispered in your ear, giggling right after.

“I hope when it’s your turn you get paired up with Ferran.” You mumbled. You’ve known for a while how much Sara has liked Ferran, though you never understood it. (Irl me talking - how do you guys find Ferran attractive?).

“And Pablo.” Ansu placed it next to your name as you opened your mouth wide, still trying to process whose name had just gotten called.

Gavi had a smirk on his though, pedri slapping his shoulder while laughing like the rest, knowing the tension between the two of you.

“The two bestest of friends in a closet! I wonder how that’ll go!” Pedri laughed, fueling the fire.

“Okay you two, time to go into the closet.” Everyone stood up to follow ansu into a closet in his bedroom. It was quite spacious, enough to fit maybe 4 people.

Gavi entered first, turning back, waiting for you to enter as well. You stood at the entrance hesitant, but not wanting to not be called a pussy after. Finally Sara pushed you in, shutting the door right after.

“Have fun you two.” Ana giggled before they all walked away.

You both just stood there, not looking into each others eyes, just standing there in silence.

“You know one of us has to do something?” He spoke.

“Not my problem.” You said, looking anywhere but his eyes.

“Kinda is actually….” Pablo murmured.

You both sat in silence for another second.

“Why are you always so bitter towards me” Pablo asked, coming closer to you with his arms crossed.

“Why are you always a self absorbed asshole to me, and basically everyone?”

You stared at him. It seemed like he was trying to come up with an answer. He came even closer, pushing your back so you were touching the wall. His lips were grazing your ear as he spoke.

“Y/n I don’t believe you understand how perfect you are. You have the perfect smile, the most perfect eyes I could get lost into, and lips I’ve been dreaming to kiss ever since we met in our English class that Wednesday morning in the 7th grade. I really am sorry for the way I’ve treated you the last few years. It’s just that everyone I knew liked you, including men which got me jealous. I was the man who was allowed to love your perfect and sweet soul. After a while I realized it was wrong to be in love with you, especially since our parents were good friends and you seemed to not like me. I tried pushing you even farther away so it gave me no other choice but to not love you. Insults, bitterness. All of that. And I thought flaunting my good traits and talking about myself after a little while would have you realize all my good traits and such so you’d like me and I’d feel like I wasn’t the one who was chasing after you because Pablo gavi doesn’t chase. Didn’t rather. I tried chasing you and I now realize those feelings never vanished. I still am very much I love with you and I know after all the years of hell I put you through it might be hard for you to accept, just all I ask of you is to give me a chance and I’ll treat you like like the only girl in the world..” After he was done he gave your ear a kiss and went back to starring at you, waiting for a response.

“-y-yes” you hesitated.

Without another word he smashed his face onto yours, hands going up to your jaw to keep it there, not wanting the kiss to be over.

The kiss happened to suddenly. You were caught off guard, still tensed up a couple second into the kiss but softened up soon enough.

This kiss was rough and needy but also passionate and affectionate. Pablo’s lips tasted and felt sweet, and soft, and like heaven as if you had been waiting for it for ever since that Wednesday morning you two met.

After a couple of seconds of staying in the same spot, Pablo finally let go, resting his forehead and nose against yours as you both caught your breaths, starring, or rather admiring one other beauty and look of swollen lips.

A couple seconds later he went back to kissing you, this time it was much faster pace. He added his tongue in, allowing you to suck on it.

Your hands moved to his head, grabbing and pulling at his hair so he could come closer.

“S-so..good” you mumbled.

His hands started to go underneath your skirt, feeling your panties through your tights and pulling at the material.

“We can’t do it here Pablo…they could come in at minu-“

“Shhh. Trust me I know what I’m doing.” He slid his hands up to your shoulders where the off-the-shoulder shirt hung off. He moved the sleeves down to reveal your braless chest. Pablo starred at your breasts for a couple of seconds before lookin back at you and smiling.

You’d always felt self conscious about your chest. You couldn’t decide whether if it was too small. Men always made comments on it saying “the last girl was DD” or “no men go for woman under a C”you were a b cup.

“They’re perfect.” He said before starting to nibble at the skin surrounding on your nipples.

“They’re a little small…don’t you think?” You asked in between heavy breaths and a few moans here and there,

He lifted his soft eyes up to meet yours as he was still leaving little nibbles and groping the other.

“I said what I said…” he lifted his lips off your breast to give your lips a small kiss before going back down.

“P-Pablo I c-can’t FUCK” you groaned.

When Pablo was moving on to the next nipple, the door suddenly swung open.

When he heard the door, Pablo instantly lifted his mouth off to turn around.

Everyone who was playing was watching the scene, a camera in pedris hand as they all bursted out laughing.

Due to instinct, you grabbed Pablo by the collar to come closer to you, hiding your chest behind him.

“Walked in not even wanting to touch each other now being all over each other.” Ansu said in between laughs.

Ferran was watching the scene unfold behind the camera, trying to get a better view of your breasts.

“Move carbón. Im tryna see some titi today.” Everyone laughed again. You get the gist. Seemed like everyone had something to say that was funny today.

“Fuck you” Pablo said flipping him off.

You finally started pulling your shirt back up, gavi acting as a wall between the others and yourself.

Once done, you pushed Pablo and others to the side and went to the living room to grab your purse before leaving. You didn’t want to see any of their faces anymore.

As you were searching for your keys in your bag, you heard someone calling after you.

“Y/n! Y/n, wait!” Gavi was yelling.

You didn’t respond, trying to ignore him.

“Y/n” he panted getting close. “-I thought you left”

“I don’t want to talk Pablo…” you said finally unlocking your car.

“Please I’m angry at them too” Pablo came up from behind, wrapping his hands on your shoulders to keep you in place as he caught his breath.

“I want to be alone Pablo. No hard feelings” oh hard feelings for sure, but you weren’t going to say that.

You opened your car door and entered before locking it.

“Please y/n! I need a ride.” Pablo said knocking on the window.

You started the car and sped off

~

A/n

I’m the slowest writer ever BUT in my defense I’ve got school, which will always be my priority so yeah. Anyways, this will likely become a series. 3-5 chapters maybe even longer. Next part will likely be uploaded in the following week.

[linorachas]

double the trouble (triple the fun) | seo changbin & han jisung

ᦈ pairing — changbin x reader x jisung, changbin x jisung ᦈ genre — smut ᦈ word count — 3.7k ᦈ tags— afab reader, best friends with benefits, dirty talk, exhibitionism, spitroasting, slight choking ᦈ notes — i was going to make chan the ex because apparently i cant live without mentioning chan but i was like omg i cant do that…. So headcanon that chan is the next boyfriend who treats u right. binsung are still Protective and Suspicious until one day chan meekly suggests a foursome and BAM theyre 100% convinced that hes The One

read on ao3 :3

“Jaesuk cheated on me.”

Music stops. A loud, obnoxious, automated voice announces Game over! just as Jisung drops his controller. Beside him, Changbin sets his phone down slowly.

“What?”

You look up from where you were picking vegetables out of your meal, blinking rapidly. “Um. Jaesuk cheated on me?”

“That lanky, ugly, bug-eyed son of a bitch cheated on you? On you?” 

Jisung’s voice gets louder with each word as he slowly rises from his seated position on the floor. His face was pinched, and for a second, he looked as if he was genuinely angry. Your lips twitch.

“Ugly? Didn’t you say he was cute when I first showed you his picture?”

Jisung scoffs. “I was lying out my ass, Y/N. What do you mean, he cheated on you?”

You sigh at that, setting down your fork. You had hoped the casual mention of your ex would explain why you haven't been with him for weeks, a concern Jisung himself raised a few days ago. You also knew, however, that your best friends were never the ones to let anything slip by so easily, especially when it came to you. So this was— as much as you hoped it wouldn’t be— expected.

“A few weeks ago, we had a fight over something stupid and had a pretty bad argument about it. I went over to his place to work things out because I felt bad that I’ve been giving him the silent treatment. Caught him pants down with another girl in the hallway. According to his neighbor, that wasn’t the only girl he’s fucked out in the open.”

You relay the story lazily, all while looking for the packet of soy sauce you had seen Changbin toss away earlier. You don’t notice Jisung and Changbin’s faces get even more furious with every word.

Changbin, who had been quiet the entire time, finally speaks up. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Huh?” You look up, soy sauce packet between your teeth. “Whaft? ”

Your eyes widen when Changbin actually gets up and snatches his car keys on the table, then heads for the door where his shoes were lined up. You panic even more when he actually laces up his shoes, and it’s only then that it hits you.

He was actually angry. Like Angry angry.

“Jisung, stop hi-“ You start, panicked face turning towards Jisung, but you stumble back a step when you notice he was fuming too.

His jaw was clenched, eyes furious as he glared holes somewhere on the floor. He paid no attention to Changbin, who was actually turning the knob on the front door now and holy shit-

“I can’t bail you out of jail!” 

You exclaim as you rush over, pressing your body between Changbin and the door. You let out a sigh of relief when it slams shut behind you, but Changbin doesn’t seem too happy about it.

“Y/N,” he sighs, voice clipped. “Move.”

“No, what the hell- Bin, are you serious?” You huff, placing a hand on Changbin’s cheek. 

His narrowed eyes avoid yours. You knew that Changbin never wanted you to see him when he was angry, and the fact that he didn’t want to make eye contact with you right now proved to you how serious the situation actually was. He might actually kill Jaesuk.

“Let him be.” Jisung cuts in. He was still frowning, but his eyes cooly met yours as he dropped down on the couch, leaning back to rest his arm on the backside. “I’ll bail him out.”

You stare. Jisung stares back, undeterred. 

It’s tense in the room.

After a beat, you purse your lips. “You couldn’t even afford rent last month.”

Jisung lets out a scoff as he turns away, but you snort internally when you see his slowly reddening ears. Changbin’s lips are quirked as he turns to look at Jisung too, but he immediately schools his expression back into indifference when you face him. You raise an eyebrow in challenge.

“And you’re not killing anyone. Between us three, I’m the one who would most likely commit a murder. Not you two. So go sit back down and-” you grunt as you push Changbin back with both hands to his chest— which felt like a rock solid wall, mind you—  but you falter when he doesn’t even move an inch.

Hands gently clasp your wrists.

“He hurt you.”

You freeze. Slowly looking up, you find Changbin gazing down at you. He looked almost… upset now, and you coo.

“Oh no, Bin, he didn’t-”

“Y/N, you were still in a relationship when he got his small dick wet and not to mention how shitty he’s been treating you this past month! How could h-”

“Changbin.” You hiss, and he immediately shuts up. You soften when you see his eyebrows furrow, clearly upset about the situation. You take his hands in yours and squeeze. 

“I would have had to care about him enough for him to hurt me. I’m not hurt, Bin, I promise. I’m just— pissed.” You swallow, shifting nervously on your feet. Jisung gets up then, sidling up next to Changbin. He tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, and you flash him a grateful smile. “I’m angry at myself for wasting so much time on the asshole. I’m angry at him for stringing me along. I’m angry that I spent so much time with him when I could have spent it on better people like—” you sniffle, “—like you guys.”

“I’m not hurt,” you reassure them once again, frowning. “If I have the chance to punch him in the face I’d gladly take it, but most of all, I’m just- I just want to move on.”

Jisung makes a noise at the back of his throat, and you’re not even given a warning when he goes behind you to pull you into a backhug, face nuzzling into your hair. You giggle when he presses a kiss to your shoulder. 

Changbin pulls your attention back to him with two fingers under your chin. 

“Then let's do it. Jisung and I will hold him down and you can punch him all you like.”

You laugh, and at that, Changbin finally softens. 

“I’m being serious.” He still says, but there’s a smile tugging at his lips. You grin.

“I know you are. But that’s assault, and I am not stooping that low. Especially not with you guys. The thought of giving him more attention just pisses me off even more. I want to forget about him, okay? Pretend he never existed in my life, and that I never met him. Let’s just— let him be. Karma will get to him.”

Jisung huffs. “Not even a little kick to the balls would help?”

You snort. “Not even a little kick to the balls, Sungie. But you know what would help?”

They both perk up. 

You smile, slow and mischievous as you tug Changbin closer. “A club.”

Two simultaneous groans. 

You laugh. “Oh, come on! I’m brokenhearted, you have to adhere to my requests! Oh help, I need to be cured right now!”

Changbin huffs out a laugh, somewhere between exasperated and fond. You giggle, letting go of his hands to wrap your arms around his neck, Jisung still clinging at your waist.

“Come on, Binnie, pleaaaase? Just a few dances to get my mind off it. I won’t even drink, you guys can drink all you want, I’ll get us all home safe, please please please- ”

“Okay, alright, christ-” Changbin groans, but he’s grinning as he brushes the hair away from your face. “None of us are drinking. We’ll just dance and have fun.” 

“Dance and have fun. Yes. Uh huh. Thank you.” You smack a long kiss to Changbin’s cheek before you turn to face Jisung, who was pouting. 

You put your arms around his shoulder. “You don’t want to go to the club with us?”

“There’s a tournament,” Jisung starts, eyes flickering towards the console, but he falters when he sees you blinking up at him. “I…”

Jisung’s eyes quickly dart behind you to where Changbin was, but unbeknownst to you, Changbin already had both hands up in surrender, mouthing I can’t help you. I’m weak.

“You…?”

So Jisung shuts his mouth with a smile, hands squeezing your waist. “That I can join next week. Alright, to the club! Come on, Y/N. Wanna pick what I should wear?”

You grin in triumph, letting Jisung pull you to his bedroom as Changbin follows suit with a defeated smile on his face. 

The night was still young. You weren’t going to let Jaesuk ruin the mood, and a night of dancing could fix that. 

Luckily for you, Changbin and Jisung were more than willing to help.

You don’t know how it happens, but an hour later finds you squeezed between Changbin and Jisung.

You’re not drunk. You’re barely even tipsy, having only just drank one beer. But the heat inside the club was affecting you. You were safe, content and happy between your best friends, what more could you ask for?

It’s reminiscent of your position by the door earlier, but this time it’s a lot less wholesome and a lot more— ah.

“Jisung,” You gasp when you feel another mark sucked on your neck, teeth nibbling one of your most sensitive spots. Shivers wrack your body. “Jesus. Are you teething?”

Changbin snorts at that, but his eyes are busy watching Jisung. “He’s not teething. He’s staking a claim.”

You raise a brow, grinding back into Jisung’s clothed cock at the words. Jisung grunts in your ear. “Oh? Letting everybody in the club know that I’m yours?”

You squeak when you’re suddenly spun around, stumbling back into Changbin’s hard chest. He catches you easily though, one of his warm hands sliding up your top and another sliding down to your hips. You shiver again when his nails scratch against your tummy.

Jisung, who was now in front of you, stalks closer, and your breath hitches when he stops just an inch away from your lips.

With a smirk, he says, “that you’re ours.”

And just as Jisung crashes his lips onto yours, another set of lips starts leaving wet, heated kisses on your neck. It trails higher, up to your cheek, to your jaw, and all the way to your ear.

There, Changbin whispers, confident and smug. “And we’re taking you home tonight.”

It’s fleeting, the brush of a hand between your thighs, but it’s enough to shock your eager body and make you moan Changbin’s name into Jisung’s mouth. 

“Wrong,” Jisung whispers after he sucks on your bottom lip, letting it go with a teasing bite. “That was me. Guess we’re gonna have a little game then, huh?”

“No more games.” You whine, pressing back into Changbin, who was sucking in sharp breaths as he ground against your ass. “Don’t care whose it is. I want you both, and I want you now. Please.”

Jisung huffs at the lack of attention, pressing his own clothed cock against the front of your thigh as well, and just the feeling of being sandwiched between the two has your body tingling all the way to your fingertips. 

You’re just about to pull Jisung into another messy kiss when Changbin stops the both of you by a hand to your neck, pulling you towards him gently. 

You gulp at the feeling of his fingers around your throat, and Changbin’s eyes distractedly watch your slick mouth, but he still manages to get out, “Home. Let’s get you home, and we’ll give you what you want. Sound good?”

“Sounds great.” You croak out, still frozen at the feel of Changbin’s hand around your neck. Changbin seems to have noticed this, and his eyes darken when you moan at a slight squeeze that he does.

Jisung, already impatient, tugs you out of Changbin’s grasp with a possessive hand to your waist. 

“Later.” He promises both of you, and you and Changbin both straighten up. “Home, now.”

You nod, blinking out of your daze, but your body still reacts when Changbin slides a hand up your back as he and Jisung lead you to the exit. They flank you on both sides, side-eyeing anyone who so much as looks at you. 

It’s a blur on the way back to Changbin and Jisung’s apartment, but you were hyper aware of where their hands were. 

Changbin had wrapped an arm around your waist as soon as you had slid into the middle seat, and soon enough his fingers were trailing goosebump-inducing patterns under your shirt again. At one point he reaches the edge of your bra, and you bite your lip when he teasingly kneads under it. You send him a sharp look, gesturing to the driver. 

All Changbin does is smirk in return.

Jisung, on the other hand, was gazing out the window and enjoying the scenery that you know he’s seen a million times, but his hand was busy sliding between your thighs. You jolt every time he gets a little too close to where you needed him most, and you glare when he quickly pulls his hand away with a knowing grin. He then lets his fingers scratch the inside of your inner thigh, and it gets so ticklish and hard to hold back the sounds that you have to stop him with a hand to his wrist and a pointed look. 

Jisung merely takes your hand off, and continues.

You squirm in the backseat, getting wetter with each caress the two made. You don’t make a sound, but your heavy breathing was probably obvious at one point, because you meet eyes with the driver in the rearview mirror, and he looked concerned. You flush red and try to hide your face by burying it against Changbin’s shoulder.

A coo. “You alright? Drank too much?”

“Shut up,” You hiss, but end up snapping your mouth shut when Changbin quickly but surely fondles one of your breasts through your bra. He slides a thumb under the cup to teasingly flick your nipple, then slides his hand back down to your waist, like nothing had happened. 

“Bin-” you whine in his shoulder, and he chuckles. 

“Almost there, baby. Just a few more minutes.”

And then, in a split second, fingers rub at your clothed pussy.

Your gasp quickly turns into a moan, which Changbin covers up by cooing louder and pressing your face against his neck. 

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Changbin soothes, “we’re almost home. I know your head hurts, but you can puke there.”

“Ah,” The driver speaks up, seemingly understanding now. “Please don’t get vomit in my car, I can pull over if-”

“Oh, no, it’s okay, thank you, she’s just-”

As Changbin converses with the driver, Jisung continues his relentless rubbing. He finds your clit easily, and you moan soundlessly against Changbin’s neck as your hips buck. Jisung holds your hips down with his other hand.

“You’re alright,” Changbin mutters down at you, cupping your cheek tenderly, but out of the driver’s sight, he’s sliding his thumb between your parted lips, pad pressing down on your tongue. “You’re doing so well.”

You were so wet now, and you knew Jisung could feel it too, considering he kept brushing over the wet spot that has seeped into your panties. You squirm, hoping to get him back to your clit, but you freeze when his fingers slide under your underwear and fuck-

“Jisung-” you start, moaning muffled against Changbin’s thumb, but Changbin cuts you off. 

“-is right there. Don’t worry, he’s safe. He’s coming with us.” 

“I’m right here, Y/N.” Jisung pipes in casually, like he wasn’t sliding the pads of his fingers up and down your labia, teasingly circling your clit and dipping the tips of his two fingers in your hole. “Are you hungry? Cause I am.”

You shake in Changbin’s arms. He laughs.

You’re just about to cum when the car suddenly stops, and a keen bubbles out your throat when Jisung pulls his fingers away, upset at having your orgasm be taken away from you. You’re in a daze as Changbin helps you out of the car, leaving Jisung to pay. You hoped he left a good tip.

It doesn’t take long for the three of you to stumble inside the boys’ apartment, tearing at each other's clothes as you go inside the nearest bedroom. 

Jisung makes quick work of opening you up as you leant back against Changbin’s chest, his fingers stretching your walls. You moan against Changbin’s lips, unsure whether to pull away from the fast thrusting of Jisung’s fingers or push into Changbin’s hands which were kneading your breasts.

“Come here, baby.” Jisung finally pulls his fingers out, kneeling in the middle of the bed as he holds his cock in his hand.

You crawl toward him, mouth opening automatically. Jisung groans, slapping his drooling cockhead on your outstretched tongue. 

“That’s it, let me see you take my cock in your pretty little mouth. That’s a good little slut…”

Jisung slowly guides his cock into your waiting mouth at the same time Changbin lines himself up behind you, and you gasp when the head pushes inside.

You pull of Jisung’s cock and gasp. “You’re so big, Bin- wait-”

You and Changbin both groan as you convulse around him. Changbin doesn’t move, letting you adjust to his massive size. Jisung, however, was too impatient. He drags your mouth back onto his dick with a grunt.

“Shit. Jaesuk missed out on this?” Changbin mutters mostly to himself once he starts fucking into you, each thrust pushing you forward onto Jisung’s cock.

“Fucking loser,” Jisung says in reply, gathering your hair in his hands he thrusts in and out of your slick mouth too. “Doesn’t know what he let go.”

You flush at both their words and actions, pleasure coursing through your body on both ends. You let Jisung fuck your mouth, too overwhelmed to keep bobbing your head with how good Changbin was fucking you. 

Jisung must have been more worked up than you thought, because he suddenly pulls away. You let out a displeased whine, wanting him back in your mouth, but he just tuts as he holds you up by the hair.

“Not yet. Be good for hyung, alright?”

At the words, Changbin stops, flips you over, and immediately starts fucking you again. He wraps your legs around his waist, and your blink in surprise when his hand slides up to wrap around your throat.

“Changbin,” You choke out a gasp, fingers clawing at Changbin’s wrist as he squeezes your throat. “Oh, fuck- fuck-”

His pace is relentless; your hips were hanging mid-air from how much he’s lifted you, and you were basically perched on his thighs. You almost black out when he squeezes your throat once, feeling lightheaded from the cock pounding into you and the lack of air.

Behind you, Jisung shudders at the sight.

You reach for him weakly, wanting to get a hand on him. He obliges almost immediately, kneeling beside your head as he strokes his cock to your gasps and Changbin’s grunts. You manage to wrap a clumsy wrap around him, and though it was almost useless, Jisung still moans loud.

“You’re so- fucking- wet.” Changbin gasps, fingers tightening from where it was wrapped around your ankle. “Fuck, baby, Jisung could slip in here with how wet you are.”

Changbin and Jisung don’t miss the way you jerk at that, getting even tighter at the thought. You feel the tips of your ears burn, but Changbin just smirks. “Oh? You like that?”

You don’t expect to his slide down after that, finger trailing over your entrance where his cock was still fucking in and out of you. It only takes a little push, and his finger slips inside.

“Are you fucking crazy-” You hiss, but there’s no denying the way you clench around Changbin’s cock and finger. You moan even louder when he starts moving it along with his cock, feeling like you’re about to lose your mind.

“Fuck,” Changbin and Jisung both exhale, mesmerized. 

Jisung was so close that every time he thrust, his cock would bump against your cheek and sometimes your lips. You move your head close so his cock slides against your lips, and Jisung almost doubles over.

“Hyung,” Jisung whines suddenly, and you blink, confused, but then Changbin pulls Jisung into a kiss and your world shakes.

You and Jisung moan at the same time, Jisung’s cock twitching in your hand. He’s gotten so wet that you hear a squelch every time he bucks into your hand.

Jisung melts in Changbin’s hold, something you understand all too well. Out of the three of you, Changbin was the best kisser. He had a way of pulling you into a kiss so hypnotizing it leaves you breathless and boneless at the same time. 

The sight of your two best friends gasping into each other's mouths was enough to push you to the edge. You couldn’t even warn them as you finally cum, toes curling as you convulse around Changbin’s cock.

Jisung follows soon after, pulling away from Changbin’s lips just to hide his face in Changbin’s neck, shuddering as he cums. He sprays directly into your mouth, but his hips stutter, so some of his cum gets onto your cheek and neck.

Changbin, with one arm around Jisung’s waist, pulls his cock and finger out of you with a groan and starts jerking himself off. He keeps your legs spread, and he watches with lidded eyes as your hole spasms around nothing. 

With Jisung’s cock in your hand, his cum on your face, and Jisung’s face in his neck, Changbin finally cums on your stomach with a shuddering breath.

The three of you collapse on the bed soon after, sweaty and sticky. You were so content to just bask in the silence and heavy breathing, but you just had to ask.

“Since when-” You sit up and gesture to Changbin and Jisung, but you don’t finish your sentence. 

Jisung flushes up to the tips of his ears and hides his face in the pillow. Changbin laughs into your shoulder.

“Since now. We’ll talk about it later.”

“Wah,” you exhale and lie back down on the bed, letting Changbin and Jisung cuddle up to you on either side. “Thank fucking god Jaesuk cheated on me then.”

“Yah-”

“Don’t say that! I’m still going to kill him.”

You squeak when Changbin pinches your waist, but you still feel their smiles on your skin. You giggle.

Getting fucked by your best friends definitely helped you get over your stupid ex.

[kayesfanfics]

Belmont! Reader with a hint of x Alucard

You and your brother could be a lot alike; brash, sometimes arrogant, cocky, sometimes lazy. You were less sarcastic and rude to other people and usually saved that for banter with him, as Trevor would %1000 start fights with his siblings no matter how old he was, he’s always going to be somewhat of a man child. You were always the more mature one even if you were only a year or two older than him, you often had to save his ass from people or vampires he pissed off. You enjoyed traveling with Sypha as the two of you could gang up on him and give him a taste of his own medicine

After joining Alucard in the mission to kill Dracula, you and your brother led the two to your family’s hold to find proper weapons and information to carry out said mission. You sat in the back of the wagon with Alucard while Sypha sat up front with Trevor, directing the horses and leading the way back to the Belmont estate. Alucard was often watching as the trees passed by, deep in his thoughts as you boredly tapped your foot on the wood of the wagon floor, eventually annoying him enough to send you a glare and make you stop

“So like…how can you be in the sun?”

“I am half human. Some things don’t effect me the way they do full blooded vampires.”

“Do you have to drink blood?”

“Sometimes.”

“Can you have garlic? Or is that just a myth?”

“Is there a point to all these questions?”

“I’m bored.” You shrugged, tired of listening to your brothers and Sypha’s squabbling about directions. Alucard simply raised an eyebrow at you, before continuing to answer any questions you had about his physiology and his father and the castle

Once you all stopped to make camp for the night, you collected firewood with Trevor, who immediately started bugging you

“I heard you two getting quite personal back there.”

“I heard you and Sypha getting quite personal up there.” You repeated, shoving him away from you as the two of your carried firewood back to camp

“I’m just saying, you seemed a bit too curious.”

“And? This is any of your business because?”

“Because I’m your brother! I’m supposed to look out for you!”

“I’m older than you! I can handle myself!”

“So? I’m stronger than you!”

“I’m smarter than you!”

“I’m taller than you!”

“I’m-“

“Are you two bickering again?” Sypha interrupted as you both reached camp. You both froze and cleared your throats awkwardly before setting the wood down for her. She rolled her eyes at the two of you, but mostly towards Trevor as you too rolled your eyes at him, before huffing and sitting next to Alucard, who side eyed you but didn’t say anything

After a couple days you finally reached the Belmont Estate, feeling a pang of nostalgia and grief hit you when you saw it in ruins as you left it all those years ago. You and Trevor led the speaker and the vampire down into the Hold, beginning to search for information to aid you all in battle. You watched Alucard gaze at a display of vampire skulls, including one the size of a child, before searching for books near him

You heard your brother gasp and rush over somewhere, before dragging out a large chest. Your eyes widened and you rushed over, your eyes widening in disbelief when you saw the glorious weapon inside

“The Morningstar…” You both breathed, amazed by the artifact as Trevor gave it a test swing

“It’s mine.”

“No way, I found it!”

“I’m older! It goes to me first!”

“Does not! Go find your own weapon!”

“Are you two fighting over that UGLY thing?” Sypha asked, looking at the weapon in disgust. You gasped dramatically at that, before telling her about how glorious it truly was. You bickered with your brother over it before you finally lost the argument, glaring at him before storming off to find something else to use

“That is quite childish, Belmont.”

You turned and saw Alucard flipping through a book behind you as you opened another chest of smaller weapons. You poured and ignored him, which made him chuckle at your slightly puffed out cheeks and furrowed brows

When night fell, you found a rather uncomfortable place to rest, finding a large cloak that belonged to an ancestor to curl up in next to a small fire in a lamp you made. It felt weird being back home, it was too quiet and still for it to be home, but yet it was. Alucard must’ve noticed the melancholic look on your face, as he brought his stack of books over and sat across from you, reading by the lamp light. You smiled at the gesture and sat with him in the comfortable silence, watching the fire flicker and listening to him flip the old pages of the books

“Alucard?” You finally worked up the courage to gain his attention. He didn’t look up from the pages of the book, but acknowledged you with a response.

“Please, call me Adrian.”

“…Adrian?”

“Y/N?”

“Will you be able to do it? Will you be able to…to kill your father?”

He looked up from the book, but he didn’t look angry or sad. He looked determined and deep in thought like usual, carefully searching for the right words.

“Yes, I will. It needs to be done, and I’m afraid I may be the only one that can do it.”

You looked up at him solemnly, looking into his eyes and seeing a hint of premature regret and sorrow. You could tell this would be harder for him than he was letting on, after all, just because he was a genocidal maniac, Dracula was still a father. You gently took the book from his hands, and he let you, before moving over to sit with him. You offered part of the cloak to him, to which he accepted and sat closer to you.

“I know we don’t know each other very well yet, but we’re all here to help you. I know my idiot brothers been giving you a hard time about it, but I know you can do it. Even if it’s going to be hard.”

He gave you a small smile, before quietly saying, “Thank you, Y/N.” You smiled back before resting your head on his shoulder shamelessly, feeling him stiffen up a bit but slowly relax to your touch as you began to doze off.

“Goodnight, Adrian.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

[snarky-art]

I swear I dont wanna be mean but why does everyone keep making stella fat. Why is it that the most attractive character, whom everyone finds beautiful inside the show, is the one who is always turned fat. Like... No one would find her attractive if her canon design was like that. I promise im not being mean but I feel like the artists are always projecting themselves onto Stella and wanting to be loved like she is, cause usually the ones making her fat are fat too, like I saw your selfies and you're a bit curvy. I promise im not being mean im just curious.

For starters, send me more fat Stella’s if you can I haven’t seen that many made and would love to see more varied takes on her appearances in redesigns.

Secondly, I made her fat because I think it’s nice to have the character that’s canonically considered to be the most beautiful girl in all of magix, a fashion icon in the magical dimension, a very celebrated trendsetter, be something other than the stereotypical concept of socially acceptable fashion tropes. She isn’t an hourglass, she has cellulite and stretch marks, she’s super pear shaped, and that can be and should be considered something to be normal, since they are, and shouldn’t be seen as things that need to be hidden. Having that put on a loud and proud fashion girly seems good imo and it can only really contribute to good stuff for body image stuff and representation. I did it so people like you could reconsider that beauty is something that comes in multiple forms and shouldn’t have to fit one type of standard. If we wanna get super technical too those standards also very from culture to culture and I image that’s extended even further in Winx club.

The girls are all aliens from different worlds. There’s bug people. There’s a lady in the miss magix episode that has tentacle hair, a blue body, and tentacle hands and feet. I highly doubt beauty standards in canon would be the same as what you’re saying, ie that no one would consider her beautiful. As if people who look like her irl also would inherently be considered not beautiful too. I know lots of people who have people that think they’re the hottest thing ever and they have all sorts of different body types and traits. Lets just call it realism lol

I’m not really projecting any of my physical stuff on her also, outside of I guess stretch marks and cellulite?? But I put those on other characters too so I don’t really think that holds up. I actually put my old body type on Flora since she’s my favorite, but now I’m way more midsized, like a slightly thinner Bloom from my stuff (love this unit of measurement gonna start using the gorls as a reference point for my appearance going forward lol). I’ve always had the “socially acceptable” fat type of body, ie hourglass with even proportions and a super snatched waist. I just think it’s tired and trite to constantly reenforce the idea that “the hot fashion one” needs to be tall and thin all the time, and if she is made fatter, that she needs to look like I did ie not much of a tummy with super equal proportions, big boobs, and a big ass.

Kinda related to that also, I made a post about a lot of character design “rules” too that I think are kinda outdated and annoying, at least to me, since I’ve seen them a million times. We all have. So I decided to do something different that I think would be good for normalizing traits outside of what we consider typically acceptable for that kind of character.

I’m already very loved also and don’t need to project anything on Stella lmaooo

I got multiple partners, great friends, do modeling, and am slaying with my own fashion and appearance stuff outside of that too. That’s all independent of whatever I’m doing with her physical body type when I draw her.

Gonna level with you also, you going “I’m not trying to be mean” doesn’t erase how weird this ask is. Sounds like you have your own gripes that you need to work through. Like, if you consider those traits on Stella ugly, that means you definitely have some internalized hatred for fatness, skin blemishes, scarring, and other peoples’ general appearances if they don’t fit some specific molds that aren’t realistic for the majority of people. Even if it is just genuine curiosity, being aware of this stuff going forwards and reevaluating how you view beauty standards and bodies in general would do you a great benefit imo.

Thanks for going through my old selfies tho it was pretty weird of you but at least make sure to leave a like on them. I looked hot when I was fatter and I look hot now too sharing this with the world is the least I can do💕✨💕✨

[chaoticbardlady99]

Lethal Woman: Chapter 8 (Astarion x GN! Reader)

Synopsis: You and Astarion have many misadventures while going back through the Blighted Village. Someone from your past makes a gruesome reappearance and reveals they are hunting Astarion. You and Astarion inadvertently confess to each other that there is, in fact, something between the two of you.

CW: Violence, gore, fighting, alcohol, Gnome racism (I don’t hate Gnomes I promise- just Dwarves because the All Hammer killed one of my favorite DND characters), torture, mentions of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse.

Chapter 9

Likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Thank you for everyone who has been reading my little passion project!

Tracing your steps back through the blighted village was more eventful than any of you anticipated.

For one- you and Astarion stumbled upon an Ogre and Bug Bear couple (literally) bumping uglies. Astarion had insisted that he open it and you were really hoping it wasn’t what you thought it was. Considering your luck- you weren’t surprised they were fucking, but then they tried to kill you. So you had to ruin the party while the rest of your companions explored the other abandoned buildings while you and Astarion were trying to avoid being covered in various bodily fluids.

Second, Karlach informs you she befriended three massive ogres and they said they’ll send their aid when you “toot this little horn thing”. Then she gave you the news that they don’t promise NOT to eat you. You quickly convinced her to give it to you- you love your tiefling kindred spirit, but her impulse control is terrible sometimes.

Arguably the third incident may be the worst. Karlach had rejoined the other group when Wyll called her over so it was just the two of you again. You had attempted to help a deep Gnome by killing the Goblins that were terrorizing him- much to Astarion’s dismay.

Well, when the Gnome told you to stop the damn thing- you went inside thinking it would be one lever. It was TWO and they said what they each did IN COMMON. YOU CAN’T READ COMMON! And when you asked Astarion to pull the right lever- he had a mischievous look in his eyes.

“Consider the right level pulled, Darling.”

Needless to say, the only positive of that event was the hysterical cackling that erupted from your lover’s mouth as he fell to the ground- unable to contain himself until at least 10 minutes after the Gnome you promised to rescue became airborne and gained his Gnomeish wings. You had looked at Astarion and leered at him playfully.

“You are so mean,” you said while castigating him, trying not to let your love of his genuine laughter get in the way of basic morals, “that is not what I asked you to do at all!”

You are so glad no one else was around for that. Wyll would have stroked out.

“Oh Darling,” he said, wiping the tears from his eyes, “I never claimed not to be and next time- maybe be more specific instead of saying ‘can you pull the right lever?’’”

You sighed while pinching the bridge of your nose, now struggling to contain your laughter. Like the absolute shit he is- he found a loophole.

“Well as long as you aren’t tying me up to a windmill and flinging me into the heavens-“

You didn’t even get to end your sentence because Astarion began crying and laughing again.

Within an hour of the impromptu funeral, your situationship and the interests of the others in the group had been tested when you, Gale, Astarion, and Lae’zel found the Necromancy of Thay. You had accidentally stumbled across the room while searching the caverns underneath the Blighted Village and finding a strange purple amethyst. The book had immediately taken to it and you don’t know what Astarion had seen from the book, but he refused to back down and hand it to Gale.

“No!” Astarion says indignantly, “you aren’t eating this one!”

“I need it to stabilize-“

“I could give a rat’s ass about how stable your stupid chest orb is,” Astarion says while glaring, “this is far too special for the likes of you to consume.”

“It’s obviously a very powerful tome. It would be beneficial for helping my condition,” Gale huffs and then they both look at you.

Oh no.

“State your case?” You say awkwardly, “unbiasedly?”

They both scowl and Astarion pouts at you, but the look in his eyes tells you he understands to some extent that you at least have to let both parties argue their side. You did have a full blown melt down one of the first nights of the journey over not being able to make everyone happy. Astarion rarely put up a fight with you unless it was important to him. You do this with everyone, not just them, but you worry your relationship with Astarion will be seen as the influencing factor.

Gale simply stated that it had powerful magic that he would like to consume. You did mention that you have multiple items for him in your pocket at any given time, but he is still insistent.

Then Astarion makes his case and it’s actually very difficult to argue with it. It’s a book of Necromancy and he is undead. What if the book had a cure for his condition? Or at least a way to diminish the side effects? The desperation in his voice had somehow cracked Gale’s resolve- you didn’t even have to make a decision.

“Fineeeeeeeee,” Gale drawls, “have the damn book- you bastard.”

Astarion looks far too pleased with himself.

Asshole, you think with a smile.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You set up camp at your previous campsite near the Grove so that you can begin your journey into the Underdark.

The sun has already set and the moon shines brightly in the sky. You aren’t ready to go underground yet. You always miss the moon and stars.

You are sitting by the nearby river- enjoying the sounds of the roaring river with Karlach as the two of you try to sort out her love life.

“Soooo,” you raise your eyebrows at her, “is it going to be Wyll, Damon, or Shadowheart?”

“Ughhhh,” Karlach tips over and pretends to writhe in pain in the grass, “having choices sucks!!”

“Oh come on K,” you say teasingly, “you must have someone you are specifically gravitating towards.”

Karlach taps her chin and pretends to think. After a minute- she just looks at you and shrugs.

“I’ve got nothing.”

“Nothing? You spend so much time with Shadowheart and Wyll! Dammon I’d maybe understand being out of the running but what the hell man!”

“I know, I know,” Karlach sighs, “I mean you had Gale and Halsin up your ass- why Astarion?”

You are almost frozen by her question. Why does everyone but you notice when people fancy you?

Why did you choose Astarion? You know the answer, but you also don’t know how to phrase it without sounding like an emotionally clingy weirdo.

“Um well,” you cough awkwardly, “I guess I just really like who he is as a person. I think he’s really funny, intelligent, and whether he wants to admit it or not- he is kind, in his own way.”

You neglect to tell Karlach about the Gnome. You have a feeling she won’t love that whole mess.

“The first night we hung out and just talked was… it was like when I met Tessa for the first time. It was an instant- oh no I’d do anything for this person.”

You hug your knees and put your chin on them. You scrunch up your face and avoid her face.

“You look rather upset for someone who is horribly smitten.”

“I’m not upset- it’s just weird… feeling this way again,” you sigh heavily, “I really am a walking death trap though-specifically where lovers go to die. I probably should end it, right? To keep him safe?”

“I would let him make that decision if you are so worried about it,” Karlach waves her hands at you dismissively, “you like him-I believe he likes you. Fangs can make his own choices- we all know the risk of traveling with you as you know the risk of traveling with us.”

“That’s a good point.”

“Of course it is! I’m a genius!”

You roll your eyes, “So who’s it gonna be Karlach?”

“DAMMIT!”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The trek back to camp isn’t a long one, but you are ready to be in- well- a bed roll?

Astarion has found every excuse in the book to have you come and stay in his tent with him- except for just flat out asking you. It makes you quite giddy regardless.

One night he had even resorted to using the excuse that he needed your assistance and guidance in sharpening his throwing knives. You know what didn’t happen? Sharpening throwing knives.

The two of you had ended up tangled in each other’s embrace and talking until you eventually fell asleep. You woke up the next morning (entirely too early, the sun was barely rising) with him curled around you sleeping. You decided to go back to sleep- you weren’t ready to start your day. You’d rather stay here with Astarion.

You walk back to camp with a slight skip in your step- wondering if Astarion will want you to sleep in his tent with him again tonight. It had been a little less than a week since you had begun backtracking to the Underdark entrance and he had sought you out every night. You really REALLY hope he continues this trend.

Karlach is talking to you about the pros and cons of each partner- still entirely undecided- when you both hear a bone chilling cackle come from a tree in front of you. You both stop in your tracks immediately- Karlach reaches for the small blade she brought with her and you prepare your hidden daggers.

“Well if it isn’t good ole Corpse Eyes,” the mysterious woman says, “we thought you’d finally disappeared for good. Suppose we were wrong.”

You recognize the voice immediately as your fellow guild mate- Rinara. The two of you couldn’t stand each other. She wanted Dahlia to lavish her in all the attention and training she gave you- you just wanted to be left the fuck alone.

Rinara felt like you were a, “selfish fucking brat,” and had taken to calling you ‘Corpse Eyes’ because you had been entirely empty, rigid, and lifeless up until the last year. You were no better than a walking, mindless zombie to her.

Rinara steps around the corner and it takes every last bit of restraint you have not to let the horror show on your face.

Rinara was once a beautiful, almond haired half High Elf with a strong, healthy body. Now? Her skin is the color of Ash, her eyes are bloodlust red, her hair is coming out in clumps on her head, and her skin is peeling off like she has been sitting in an acid bath for a while now. Her left cheek is completely gone- revealing her teeth and gums.

“I was initially only here for the Spawn,” you feel your blood freeze as she smiles at you- all teeth and no light in her eyes, “but if Dahlia also had you…”

“You need to back the fuck off Rinara or-“

“Or what!? You’ll kill me?” She yells out hysterically, “I’m already fucking dead! You disappeared and so they sent fucking Dahlia to do your contract- a request from Obhark himself for the assassination of Lord Cazador Szarr.

“The woman struck a fucking deal with him- she’ll help get his prodigal son home and she’ll supply him with Deathbringers if she’ll be made his consort when he completes the ritual.

“I may not be able to control them,” she snarls, “but I do know that none of this would have happened if you hadn’t fucked off. This was supposed to be you! You are the one who should be tortured and violated! Not me! Not any of us!”

Huh, so your contract was to kill Cazador and because a Mindflayer kidnapped you- Dahlia took the contract and has gone rogue. How very convenient. This certainly tracks with the ridiculousness of the other circumstances you are dealing with. If it’s not devils, then it’s the Gith. If it’s not the gith- it’s some sadistic vampire. There is no winning in this group. Halsin is the only one that doesn’t seem to have an issue yet, but you are waiting for the other shoe to drop on that one.

That’s not important right now- knowing what the ritual is? That would be very valuable. You and Astarion have tried to figure out what the carvings into his back are and what they represent. You can read infernal so you know what it says, but it doesn’t make total sense.

Hoyc inferiu non iurare per igneu

Naec virba loquor

Eoai mundo muoat

This soul swears no oath by fire

Nor words does he speak

In the realm of death

You both has assumed it was just a way to prevent him from making contracts with devils to be free of Cazador, but now knowing there is a ‘ritual’ happening- you wonder if it’s an integral part of the ritual, the scars. If they are, then that means you are going to be doing some heavy duty bodyguard work- if Obarhk himself had requested it, then it must mean it’s not good.

Which also doesn’t surprise you given the circumstances.

“What ritual,” you say through clenched teeth.

Her smile is unsettling, “It’s a secret- all I know is that it’s going to make Master very very powerful.”

She looks at you with so much pain and anger. You are Dahlia’s favorite chew toy- you had been keeping her out of harm's way (unintentionally) this whole time and now that she has Dahlia’s attention- she seems to realize now why you didn’t want it in the first place.

Rinara looks borderline feral- you can see it now. Dahlia evidently doesn’t know how to complete the ritual or she used a different one entirely- that’s why Rinara is somewhere between a Deathbringer and a skeleton in the making. You bite back the bile as you watch a piece of her flesh roll off of her arms onto the ground below.

“She tricked all of us- requested every Assassins’ aid that was not a Deathbringer. Told us Obarkh is going to pick one of us for a special project based on our ‘performance,” she spits at the ground, “then she turned us into these things- only ten out of the hundred of us that went survived. Cazador’s blood and Dahlia’s black magic flows through my veins and I survived to tell the tale- I am rotting away. I wish I died.

“And now? I’m going to have a feast- at least I can enjoy one last full meal before I disappear completely,” she bares her canines at you, “I wonder how Half Drow tastes- maybe I should ask those pigs that ate your bitch mother.”

You don’t even have time to reply before Rinara is lunging at you and Karlach. You both deftly dodge the display of all consuming rage that Rinara throws into her movement.

Rinara has always been too blood thirsty to think logically during a fight and her recent transformation seems to have only made it worse- except now she’s stronger so she may be able to actually get some damage in- doubtful, but possible.

You and Karlach breakthrough the trees and you are barrelling towards camp. You are well-versed in unarmed hand to hand combat, but you can’t leave your life up to chance. You don’t know what Dahlia did to her, but it’s becoming clearer that it was not a Deathbringer ceremony that was performed. Her breathing behind you is ragged and rattling- the smell of her skin taints the air you breathe. She is here specifically for Astarion- you can’t afford to take any risk that could keep Rinara alive.

Everyone looks at you both in alarm as you grab your daggers from outside Lae’zel’s tent (she had offered to sharpen them and basically refused to let you say no). Karlach grabs her axe and yells frantically about some zombie woman who wants Astarion, but hates you and now she wants to consume you before taking Astarion back to Cazador. Oh and Dahlia is in on it too because apparently your disappearance had really caused some issues with a contract regarding killing the Vampire Lord.

You barely see the footsteps of the invisible person running up to you in time to dodge and you hear the scream of frustration rip through the air.

You make a wild guess regarding her location and throw a knife while she screams and cusses at you.

“I’ve been waiting to rip you piece by FUCKING piece since I met -“ she is cut off by a screech and revealing herself to your companions.

You had most definitely hit her- your blade stuck in her left eyeball. Rinara looks at you- significantly more pissed off than she was even a moment before-, rips out her eyeball using the throwing knife, discards it, and begins circling you.

Rinara is not bright and she lacks impulse control. She can remain in control for maybe only four or five minutes at a time- which would explain why hearing your voice is probably what set her off Astarion’s path. The chase bought you more time since Rinara loves a good hunt- you are almost positive you can break her down quickly and because she’ll be chasing a high, she’ll make stupid mistakes. Rinara also loves to talk and taunt her targets which infuriates you, but at least it’s a full proof trap for her.

“You don’t always need to be stronger than your opponents,” Dahlia says as she watches you get the shit kicked out of you by a hired mercenary, “you just need to be faster, smarter, and calm- let them dig their own grave.”

Your companions are clambering for their weapons and you send out a “don’t move” message telepathically. Astarion protests hit your brain like a wave- all you feel is fear. You tell him to trust you and you allow him to be privy to your thoughts and actions. You know exactly how quickly this will end after your next words and you don’t need her getting spooked.

“You know, Rinara, I’m not surprised Dahlia tricked you or that you were dense enough to drink Cazador’s blood- it certainly wouldn’t be the dumbest thing you’ve fallen for,” you smile at her, “I might actually feel sorry for you this time.”

You see your companions all staring at you as Rinara’s footsteps end just to the right of their line of sight. You can feel Astarion’s gaze burning into you and you have to focus hard on disconnecting. Embarrassment will not be helpful.

“What did you just say to me, you little wretch?”

“Oh sorry,” you clear your throat, “I SAID- I THINK YOU ARE REALLY REALLY FUCKING DUMB AND I’M NOT SURPRISED YOU GOT DOOPED.”

The sound of Astarion’s laughter fills your head- you fight to stop the smile that is threatening to cross your lips. The rage bristling off of her is so wonderful. You feel a dopamine rush over the way her teeth are chattering in anger, the way her eyes are paranoid and unfocused as she looks at you. You have gotten under her skin and now it’s your turn to be the predator.

“I’m going to enjoy bringing your skeleton back to Dahlia after I pick you clean,” she roars, “I’m going to enjoy watching that stupid Spawn finally fulfill his-“

“Do you ever shut up or ?” You ask, snorts and laughter coming from your companions, “I feel like I left that at a really good spot and we should just move forward or whatever?”

Oh the look of embarrassment, shame, and fury on her face- how you wish Lucia could have seen it. She could not stand Rinara and the way her face twists with the sour emotions is a wonderful sight to behold.

“I’ve changed my mind. I won’t eat you, I’ll just bring you back to Dahlia like the fucking disobedient thing you are! You” she spits, “are nothing, but a walking Corpse. You should have stayed dead- I liked you better that way. If Dahlia can do it once- I’m sure she’ll love doing it again. You’ll be tolerable and compliant soon enough.”

The cackle that leaves your lips surprises you.

“You always have been so fucking stupid, Rinara,” you hiss, “if you want Dahlia to love you so fucking bad you can have her. The price of her ‘love’ is hardly worth it- the woman is madder than that weird old guy next to brothel on 8th.”

“YOU ARE UNGRATEFUL!” Rinara screeches, “I WILL TEACH YOU A LESSON!”

You could not roll your eyes further back into your head. It should be easier to leave the Nightmasks. The idiocy is putting years on your immortal life.

“Doubtful, but you are welcome to try.”

Rinara lunges fast, but you are definitely faster. You imagine having intact skin helps. Rinara is hitting you with attack after attack and you just focus on dodging, getting in close for a quick hit, then back to dodging. She is the one dying, not you- let her do all the hard work.

Whatever spell Dahlia used did not promote Stamina or basic hygiene- unfortunately. Rinara is breathing hard and is already losing power in her hits.

This goes on for a couple minutes before Rinara does what she always does- lifting up her back foot ever so slightly so that she can extend her blade farther. You don’t know how many times you have to trip her for this mistake before she realizes she’s her own worst enemy.

You move out of the way and use her momentum- with a swift kick of your foot- Rinara went skidding across the dirt. Her blade is stuck in the ground near you almost perfectly upright. You walk over to it and you push it even further into the ground then stand directly in front of it, cutting off her line of sight to it.

“If you want your cheap ass sword back- come get it.”

It’s actually a very expensive sword and Rinara is very very defensive about it.

“YOU-“

Rinara doesn’t even allow herself to finish her sentence before she flings a massive bolt of lightning your way. Your companions are screaming as you run towards the lightning, but you know what you are doing. You dive just below the electric crackling in the air and roll back onto your feet. You watch as Rinara turns to you before she catches the blue bolt coming back towards her.

You didn’t always like to use your enemies weapons for their intended purposes, but when in need of a reflective surface- you can never go wrong with a sword.

Rinara goes flying towards the campfire- the smell of rotting burnt flesh fills your nose as she cries out in pain with every spark of lightning that jolts through her.

You take your time to walk back to the campfire, walking over with her sword in hand, and look through your pack- of course you left your Holy Water at home. At least you have wine- you pop it open and begin to drink. Rinara is still writhing on the ground and her flesh is even worse off than it was before. This really isn’t your favorite way to spend any evening- killing your formal frenemy because there is no rehabbing this version of her. It is all the worst of Rinara and then some.

You sigh heavily and walk over to her. You cock your head at her, leaning on her sword for support, and take another long sip of the wine. Rinara’s irritation is growing, but her body is practically in tatters now. She lashes out at you with clawed hands- you meet both of her wrists with her own sword- deftly cleaving them off her. The mortified scream that leaves Rinara’s mouth as she begins trying to back away from you. You smile at her with your vampiric stare- intensifying Rinara’s growing fear.

“Dahlia did a shit job training you. Didn’t she tell you the rules ? Use it and you lose it,” you take another swig.

“Hells Soldier!”

“Hey-“ you take an even bigger sip, “I’ve been waiting to take this one out back and put her out of her misery for five years. She’s obsessed with Dahlia of all fucking people and so she terrorizes me by interfering with my contracts! I will be enjoying my moment- thank you very much.”

“That’s not what I meant- you ‘use it, you lose it?’ That can’t possibly-“

You roll up your sleeves and the silence around the campfire is deafening as everyone stares- you should have probably not done that.

Blunt, deep lines around your wrist, old and faded into the skin. There are similar markings on your elbows right at your elbows.

“The reversal process involves blood magic and necromancy- if you were wondering. Oh and yes it does hurt, yes I have more, and no I won’t be talking about it.”

Rinara kicks you weakly- your shoulders slump. Is she serious right now? Consistency is key so off goes the foot. Rinara’s pained wailing echoes in the air.

One last giant swig and you feel less freaked out and embarrassed by your sudden onslaught of bravado. You hold out the bottle to Astarion who happily takes it and begins to drink from it- you can feel his eyes melting your skin and you are almost afraid to see the emotions in them.

You grab Rinara by the back of her collar and her wriggling barely stops you from being able to easily drag her along the forest floor all the way back to the river. Hopefully she’s close to the same concept as a vampire, but also Rinara can’t swim.

“Well my dumb friend,” you say with a snort, “this is where we part ways- permanently. I hope the fish like their dinner and you’ll stop talking so Goddamn much in fights during battles. This was way too much work for how fucking weak you are.”

Rinara is screaming and kicking. You let her go and walk about five feet in front of her- putting her between yourself and the river. You wave and smile like you are saying goodbye to a loved relative- followed with a middle finger.

You use a simple Push cantrip and watch with a sort of sick satisfaction as Rinara begins to burn up, steam coming up from the water as she is dragged away by the current.

“Well Roo, I would say that may be some of your finest work yet,” you say, giving yourself a pat on the back.

You turn around and see all of your companions. You suddenly feel ill and self-conscious. Wyll looks slightly horrified, Halsin is just unreadable, Karlach is giving you a thumbs up like it’s your first day of school, Shadowheart is nodding her head impressed, Gale is shocked, and Lae’zel is slowly clapping.

Astarion though? He’s looking at you with a mixture of gratitude, warmth, and pride. You try your best to avoid his gaze as you put your hand on your hip and lift an eyebrow at them. You might actually keel over from adoration if you look at him.

“What are you guys even doing? Good Gods you people are far too supportive and clingy,” you say trying to hide your smile and then look at Gale, “don’t you have something cooking?”

“SHIT!”

All of your companions turn around to leave, but Astarion begins to walk towards you and you feel like your heart might explode in your chest. You see Karlach celebrate behind him- giving you a thumbs up again and you shake your head at her.

You just fought a woman and barely broke a sweat, but the minute he even looks at you- you feel like your whole body is on fire. Strong hands, grab you by the hips and pull you into his chest before he then moves them to your face. Astarion cups your face in his hands and is looking in your eyes.

“You are a sight to behold, Darling,” he says breathlessly, “that was the most beautiful display of violence I’ve ever seen.”

“ I- uh,” you choke back the surprise, “just another day… on the job?”

“Oh well, let me thank you for your wonderful work then.”

“You don’t need to-“

Astarion presses his lips to yours and swallows up the words you were going to say. The kiss is rough, but slow and needy- hungry even. It makes you feel like he is yearning for you- worshiping you in a temple.

When you pull back for air, you see how his eyes are blown wide with lust and another emotion you can’t quite decipher- it’s positive, but also a little fearful.

“Stay with me?” He asks, his voice uncharacteristically shy, “in my tent?”

“Tonight?”

“Yes,” he pauses before saying quietly, “and every night after that too- if you want.”

You let a huge smile spread across your face and his nervous expression appears to melt away almost instantly. You step back from him and curtsy.

“I, a simple camp urchin, would be honored to stay in your tent with you, Lord Acunin,” you say teasingly.

Astarion rolls his eyes with a lopsided smile, but puts his arm out to you. You loop your arm through his as if you are two normal nobles courting each other.

“First we must feed you, my Lady,” Astarion states in an overly proper tone, you giggle and you see the corners of his mouth twitch further at the sound, “I must make sure my lover is well taken care of after all.”

You are hot from head to toe and Astarion absolutely has to notice. If he does, he doesn’t say anything, but you hope he hears how alive he makes your heart sound.

*************************************

“Never have I ever…” Gale says, “worked for a Devil.”

Astarion watches as Karlach and Wyll begrudgingly take a large sip of their choice of liquor. You are leaning your head on Astarion’s shoulder- the alcohol making you slightly more affectionate in public. Astarion would be lying if he said it didn’t give him a thrill to be this close to you- even if PDA might not be his thing.

“Never have I ever- been a vampire,” Karlach says slyly.

Both you and Astarion grumble- taking a shot.

“Never have I ever,” Shadowheart says, tapping her finger on her knee , “lit a building on fire.”

Every single one of you but Halsin takes a shot. Shadowheart giggles and then also takes a shot.

“Shadowheart,” Karlach says and looks at her with confusion, “you aren’t supposed to drink if you haven’t done it?”

“Oh no- I have,” Shadowheart slurs, “I just wanted another shot and couldn’t think of anything else.”

Karlach begins to chastise Shadowheart playfully- commenting on how she is already way too messed up and Shadowheart saying, “I am a CLERIC I can cure my own hangovers!”

Everybody chuckles and returns to the game- it’s Wyll’s turn. Wyll regards you and cocks an eyebrow.

“Hmmmmm…. Never have I ever killed a Liche.”

You snort and take a shot.

“NO!” Wyll exclaims, “I thought I had you that time.”

“Mhmmmmm,” you hum in acknowledgement, “I think I was- 15?”

Wyll is sitting on the edge of his seat- actually everyone is. Astarion watches you squirm in recognization that everyone wants to hear your story.

“Oh it was just a complete accident,” you say with a fake enthusiasm, “I was exploring a nearby temple during a contract and just happened to run into one.”

Everyone bought the story- Wyll comments that you have terrible luck which you laugh at. He has no idea.

Astarion already knows this story- Dahlia had dragged your halfway dead body all the way into an abandoned castle off the coast of the Sea of Stars, resurrected you, and then shackled your feet and hands together. She later hid the key for the shackles somewhere in the castle for you to find.

It was an exercise- a sadistic one. You had pissed her off the night before because you had refused to let you cut your hair. She had cut it all off, every last inch, after she had beaten you into submission by quite literally killing you. This was the second part of your punishment.

She told you that there is a Lich hiding in the castle and her expectations of you were high- you are not to receive even a single scratch and the Lich needed to be dead. The punishment for not meeting these expectations? You would go without eating for a week and you would be locked away in the basement- not allowed to leave or see Tessa. You killed the lich, but you were horrifically mauled in the process because you couldn’t find the key. It was a long week in that dark, cold, horrible basement. Dahlia had also hired Abdirak to reinforce how horribly you fucked up.

Astarion absentmindedly puts his hand on yours and gives it a reassuring squeeze- trying to disrupt the spiral you’re evidently about to go into. You look over at him and Astarion feels like he could melt. You look at him with so much gratitude and as if he is the most important person who has ever walked this earth. Gods he has really really fucked up his plan.

The game has continued to go on without the two of you and suddenly everyone is staring at you both.

“Did you both not hear the question?” Karlach snorts while wiggling her eyebrows.

You both look at each other and you laugh awkwardly before turning back to Karlach.

“Repeat?”

“Never have I ever felt romantically towards any form of vampire,” Wyll states, “Gale, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart have had their shots already- so now we are just waiting on you two.”

Astarion doesn’t even have to think about it- which could partially be because of how intoxicated he currently is- obviously he is taking a shot.

He pours some more alcohol in yours and his glasses- then looks at you. This is about when his drunk mind realizes that he is basically stating, “I like you, but do you like me?” With his actions and that there is still the possibility that you could reject him. He did fling a Gnome you were trying to save into the air today- not the most attractive thing a person can do. (It was kind of worth it though).

“Cheers?” He says with a smirk on his face- hoping his eyes don’t reflect how nervous he feels.

You squint your eyes at him playfully before clinking the glass, “Cheers.”

Karlach claps her hands excitedly and Wyll’s eyes are sparkling while he looks at her. Shadowheart also smiles widely at the display of support.

You and Astarion have been speculating who Karlach is going to end up with for days now- Dammon is still a possibility, but you both have decided that it’s least likely. Astarion thinks Shadowheart and you think it will be Wyll. There’s 100 gold on the line for whoever wins. If it ends up being Dammon though? Well you will both drink and commiserate together about how blind you had both been.

It’s your turn now and you look directly at Astarion, he isn’t sure how he feels about the mischievous glint in your eyes. Then you say your sentence out loud and he feels a laugh bubble up from his lungs.

“Never have I ever flung a Deep Gnome from a windmill.”

Astarion falls off the log- laughing just as hard as he had done earlier- as you regale the group with the story. Gods it had been such a wonderful experience- the look on your face had been priceless. He also silently appreciated that you were far more impressed with his loophole than upset about his actions.

The goodies of the group castigate him, but they are all laughing equally as hard as the both of you are. You paint a very vivid picture using hand gestures and words that Astarion has been teaching you in common to describe things. He relishes in how lovely and lively you are- Alcohol is such a wonderful thing. He can just enjoy you without that horrible nagging in his head that even being involved with you anymore is a bad idea.

When Astarion finally finishes laughing- he happily takes another shot.

[sunshinediaz]

fuck it friday!

i'm a little late to the festivities, but i've arrived and i can finally put the fuck in fuck it friday!

was tagged by @panbuckley, @honestlydarkprincess, @wildlife4life, @wikiangela, @try-set-me-on-fire, @jeeyuns, and @alyxmastershipper (phew)

this is a lil something from a sweet, goofy thing i'm writing when bthb gets too much for my brain, so pls enjoy <3

Sighing, Eddie tucks his face in the hollow of Buck’s throat and breathes in Buck’s sleepy-soft scent. He hooks one of Buck’s legs up over his hip, reaches down to grip the base of his length, and nudges the head of his cock around Buck’s slick hole before bullying all the way inside.  Buck accepts him easily, greedily, and lets loose a hiccuped moan that he muffles against the scruff on Eddie’s cheek. He smears his lips across Eddie’s face, over his cheeks and nose and brow and forehead, and then finds Eddie’s mouth and kisses him, deep and dirty and delicate, like Eddie’s something to savor.  He settles atop Buck’s body, flush head to toe, and frames Buck’s face with his hands. He kisses Buck back, sucks on Buck’s tongue and licks Buck’s taste from his mouth; the white-yellow sun sifting through the curtains warms his shoulders and back and ass and thighs the same way Buck’s touch heats him up.  He pulls back to stare down at Buck. “Hi,” he says, quietly, and chuckles when Buck’s pretty blue eyes cross as he leans down to nuzzle against Buck’s cheeks. He’s flushed red from the heat of their bedroom, face blotchy and hot—the same color as his birthmark. Gorgeous.  “Hi, yourself.” Buck’s hands come up around Eddie’s back; his hands spread wide on Eddie’s ribs, fingers slotting in the divots. He grins, bright as the sun and dirtier than the pornos Eddie sneaked as a teenager. “You’re really deep. Can feel you in my throat.”  “Yeah?” Eddie smiles, pulling out till the tip of his cock’s the only thing inside Buck, before pushing all the way back in. Pleasure sizzles across his shoulders, leaving gooseflesh behind that Buck rubs away with his fingertips. “You’re so fuckin’ wet, baby. Gonna make a mess of you.”  Buck mewls, pathetic and sloppy, and hitches his leg higher up on Eddie’s hip. The angle’s good, allows Eddie to shove the head of his cock against Buck’s prostate as he fucks in, hard and fast. He drops one hand down from Buck’s cheeks to press against Buck’s tummy, right where he can feel himself shoved up inside Buck’s guts.  Eddie drops his forehead onto Buck’s. “Jesus Christ.”  “It’s not polite to say another man’s name while you’re in bed with your boyfriend,” Buck quips, chuckling against Eddie’s mouth, and Eddie fucks in hard once, twice, three times just to hear Buck’s laughter stutter in the back of his throat.  Eddie grins. Serves him right for being a smartass when Eddie fingered him open even after winning the impromptu, uncoordinated round of rock-paper-scissors to decide who was going to bottom this morning. He’s a gentleman like that.  “Eddie—” “Shut up.” Eddie kisses Buck, bites at Buck’s bottom lip till it’s swollen and red and wet with their spit. “Too much talking, not enough fucking.”  “But Eddie,” Buck says again, a little slurred, as Eddie finds his pace and begins fucking in, deep and hard and slow. “D’you know magnolia trees are over sixty million years old? That means—that means the dinosaurs saw them.”  Eddie huffs. “Buck.” He shifts over onto his elbow, reaching a hand down to wrap around Buck’s hot cock. He strokes up once, plays with the pre leaking from the piss slit, and drags his palm down, but before he can do so again Buck slaps his hand away. “Baby?”  “Don’t wanna come yet,” Buck replies, bug-eyed and slack-jawed. He laces his fingers with Eddie’s on the bed and smiles, ugly and crooked and so remarkable it hurts to look away. “Just wanna be close with you.”  Eddie shuts his eyes and holds Buck’s hand tight, relishing the wave of desire that crashes through his body. One of these days, he’s going to marry this man. He can’t wait.

no pressure tagging: @eddiediaztho, @thewolvesof1998, @jaskierofrivia, @housewifebuck, @shitouttabuck, @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy, and whoever else wants to share!!

[razielwritesstuff]

Obey Me! Headcannons ~

I have never and will never hide that I dislike Luci

BUT

I do have thoughts

This man is just constantly sipping a caffeinated beverage he needs it to deal with these mfs

He's a single mother of all 6 of his brothers

I think all demons have sharp teeth. His are the least sharp of the brothers and he is PISSED ABT IT TGURBODFK

Fav song is probably by Mozart. Basic ass.

I discussed how the om! chars would deal wirth being in mlp (pls dont ask) and Luci and Luna give me an evil grinch smile

I feel like he'd curse when angry

Idk.

Gay ass

Smells like pine trees or something

I think he'd have a fear of mascots

Like. character mascots.

Don't ask me okay

Smells like axe bodyspray and SADNESS

Am I WRONG????

We all love mammon but that man.... we know he uses axe...

Befriends the local crows.

There is so many he could be carried off

They all give him shiny shit to sell

Did everyone remember how he's canonically a model

He's attractive. Canonically.

Anyways, second-sharpest teeth of the bros

This is cannon (TO ME) but Mammon is just attached to MC like glue

"STOP FOLLOWING ME!!" "LET GO OF MY HAND THEN????"

He once tried to steal and sell some of leviathan's games

The cast took a while to come off :)

Fav song is something CUNTY ik it

Most girlypop aside from asmo (YTO ME!!!!)

He's great :D

He is so trans to me as a transmasc.

He has a main twitter and an alt twitter. Nobody knows abt the alt so he uses it to doxx ppl he doesn't like

I love Leviathan but I swear to God I don’t think he knows what deodorant is

“man for a guy who sleeps in a bathtub you really have no concept of hygiene”

How many Henrys has he had??? who tf knows.

Fav animal is SNAKES

Loves pokemon. his fav would be gyarados

He will assume anything except romantic intentions at all times

Autistic. As approved by my friend with the 'tism

He would be a brony

Lovable but a Bit Cringe

Has tied Mammon to a chair and forced him to watch stuff before

EXPERT at pirating shit

Would play Undertale.

Speedrunner !!

Would spend like the better part of a month to discover EVERY SINGLE glitch, bug, and exploit in a game to use it to is advantage

Has a sims 4 cc folder that's like 80 terabytes

He's my malewife and he's everything to me.

Would make a shiny living dex on every single Pokémon game

He has multiple cardboard cutouts of his waifus

Satan has an Ao3 account. He writes exclusively on his fav characters

His Ao3 tag has something to do with Sherlock Holmes fight me

He tweets in perfect grammar

He'd kill over a board game

Would cry over a cute cat video

WARRIOR CATS NERD

HE'S COME UP WITH WARRIOR NAMES FOR EVERYONE HE KNOWS AND THE CAT HE THINKS IS MOST SIMILAR

Lucifer got assigned as Tigerclaw LMAO

He would get into Leviathan's fandoms but only bc Leviathan forced him. He comes out liking the thing.

His favorite disney movie would be Aristocats

Loves Luigi

He became a cat person specifically because Lucifer is a dog person

He'd also be a brony

The one that can analyze media properly

His brothers use him to spellcheck their essays

He either watches video essays on YouTube or he makes them

Likes reading about witchkraft from the human realm, he finds it interesting

The one that taught Leviathan to make cardboard cutouts

Knows about 50 stray cats and has named them all

Constantly brags about how he has sharper teeth than Lucifer

Smells like a different scented candle every week

Has that stereotypical gay accent

He's zesty

He's girlypop but we all knew that

Listens to Ayesha Erotica

Goes like "GIRL you would NOT believe what Solomon did!!"

He spills all the tea all the time

King shit

He'd wear a dress in a heartbeat and he'd ROCK IT

He would cry over broken nails but not because of the pain it might cause, only because it looks ugly asf now

"I NEED TO CRY BUT MY MAKEUP WAS 40 GRIMM"

The one who painted everyone's nails

Will threaten you in order to paint your nails, but he will do a color you like

King at make up

Absolutely loves Ru Paul

Keeps trying to get Dia to set up a drag race, he's unsuccessful as of now

Strawberry is his favorite flavor

He's very physically affectionate but would absolutely respect boundaries i will kill you if you think otherwise

He would HYPE. YOU. UP.

Has gum on him 24/7

Also has tampons on him so he can give them to the homies who need them (like Leviathan)

IDK man I didn't used to like him that much but he's grown on me

VERY GOOD COOK because of course he is

Loves giving piggyback rides

Tall enough and beefy enough for you to sit on his shoulders

Would also let Belph sleep on his shoulders

He's a golden retriever. We knew this.

Surprisingly good at Just Dance

Not a dog person not a cat person but a secret third thing (he thinks cows are adorable)

Always spares bugs and spiders when he finds them

Cannot watch cooking shows, he's tried to eat the TV before

Loves going to movie theaters, will pay just for the overpriced popcorn

You can tell he genuinely loves you if he shares his food

Like he shares his food with MC and all the brothers are like "W. WHAT??"

Would INSIST you look great no matter what you look like

You will cuddle with him and Belph this is an Order

Smells like food-scented deodorant

He would be too scared to roughhouse with anyone, boy is too strong

Likes just picking people up and carrying them off

He's done this with Satan once and it actually calmed him down

Favorite show is Bluey probably

Favorite animal is a maned wolf or something

Would kill for a klondike bar

Sharpest teeth out of the brothers + bites as a love language

Every time he bites Leviathan it results in Leviathan squealing higher than able to be heard by humankind

Talks in his sleep. It is adorable thank you for asking!

Smells like Lavendar, vanilla deodorant, and a little bit of "hasn't showered in 2 days" hidden underneath

Drinks a lot of milk

Blueberry is his favorite flavor

Lucid dreams a lot

He does not believe dreams have meanings his are always either incomprehensible or if they did have menains have ones he really doesnt like

Would drink monster energy but he hates the taste of caffeine (he just like me forreal)

Gummies are his favorite snack

He gives off trans energy but i honest to diavolo can't tell if he's transfem or transmasc or neither i CANT TELL

He's girly pop in his own unique way

His DDD's ringtone is Emo Boy by Ayesha Erotica

He's neurodivergent to me i just dont know how

Chews on everything for sensory reasons

Spoiled. Because he's the youngest sibling ofc he is

Every time he drinks hot cocoa he puts marshmallows in it

He considers "barging into your room and scooching you over in your bed to cuddle" a sleepover

Alternatively he'll get Beel to bring you to their room

Hey everyone remember how he's canonically a yandere-

Anyways he's cool :)

[scaryscarecrows]

Komodo Protocol

“You seen what they got going on in Demolitions?” Frank asks around his bacon. “Somethin’ real nasty, looks like.”

“No, I’ve been stuck on ‘light duty’ all week.” Antoine rolls his eyes. “You get one bug and everyone’s on your ass.”

“Yeah, well, you shouldn’t have tried breaking out of Medical all those times.”

“Shouldn’t have passed out mid-meeting, either.” Jimmy cackles. “Dude, if you died, we’d be fucked. Riley’s an enabler.”

“Clyde would take over,” the Knight says dryly. Jimmy squeaks. “Meeting at nine hundred.”

Meeting, not assembly. Something’s come up, then, because they had their weekly briefing two days ago. There hadn’t been anything of note at the time; next shipment of drones to Gotham, more than anything. Antoine’s pretty sure it was largely an excuse to hide from Deathstroke, who had left that afternoon anyway.

“Yessir.”

Once he’s gone, Jimmy leans in.

“So? What do you think’s going on?”

“I don’t know. Everything’s on schedule, and I haven’t seen anything weird come up.”

“Think something’s up in Gotham?”

“Maybe.” He finishes his coffee and tries–and fails miserably–at repressing a cough. “I’m fine, coughs linger, that’s not illegal!”

Mark frowns.

“That sounded ugly.”

“That’s what coughs do.” He’s not whining. He’s not. “Leave me alone, I’m better now.”

“I want you in my office after this meeting. Just for a quick check-up.”

“Oh, come on–”

“Forget, and I’ll come find you.”

Ugh. Fine. He’ll go. But he’s not going to like it.

* * *

“What is that?”

“Insurance.”

Okay. Insurance is always good. This, however, appears to be a bigass mine. Three feet in diameter, easy, and well-armored. Could probably withstand a Cobra drone rolling over it.

“Uh-huh,” Frank drawls. “For what.”

“It’s primarily to keep the military from getting involved.”

Antoine’s got news for him: the military, generally, considers Gotham as ‘fend for your fucking selves’ and probably would just pretend they didn’t see anything anyway. But sure. A little extra reassurance is nice.

“Also to keep anyone–or anything–else from stepping in.” Okay, that one’s fair. “It won’t hurt you if you walk on it; the sensors need more weight to activate the electricity.” Oh, it’s electric, too? Wonderful. “We’ll be deploying them pretty early in the night, once the drones have all been deployed.”

“They won’t fuck with the programming, will they?” Jimmy risks poking the thing. “It’s not like an EMP or whatever?”

“It shouldn’t, but I want you, when you map out the patrol route, to try not to run over them. I’ll give you a map of where I want them sometime next week.”

“How many are there?”

“Fourteen.”

Trent whistles.

“Jesus.”

“Gotham’s a big place.” The Knight shrugs. “We’re not shipping these over ahead of us; they go when we do. Clyde, I’m going to be making a special dummy; same sensors, I want to run some tests with the Cloudburst tank. If it comes to that, I’d really rather not blow this entire operation…literally.”

“Very funny, sir,” Frank says dryly. “I’ll make sure she’s ready to roll when you are.”

“Good. You five are dismissed. Drouot, you’re not.”

That doesn’t sound promising.

The others file out, though, leaving Antoine with the boss and a giant, scary-looking mine.

“These are also a contingency.”

And there it is. The boss has contingencies for his contingencies, which is, Antoine guesses, why they’re all still on this crazy crusade.

“Okay?” The Knight holds out a piece of paper with numbers on it. Antoine raises an eyebrow. “What’s this?”

“The activation code to set these all off at once. In the event that I somehow end up incapacitated, unless I explicitly told you otherwise, I want you to initiate the Komodo Protocol: order a retreat and blow Gotham off the map.”

“Sounds like overkill.”

“When dealing with Batman, there is no such thing as overkill.”

“If you say so, sir.” Such an innocuous little paper. Ten digits. Ten digits and boom, one of the largest cities in the world turned into a charred crater. “Does Scarecrow know about this?”

“No, and we’re not mentioning it. If that code needs to be used, he doesn’t need to be informed.”

Well, in all honesty, Scarecrow is the one most likely to trigger this event. Antoine has never trusted the guy. He’s convinced that, Batman be damned, if he saw a chance to poison them all, he’d take it.

“Hopefully it won’t come to that, sir.”

“Hopefully not.” The Knight looks at the mine. “But I’d rather be prepared.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea, boss?”

The boss just laughs.

“Probably not. Look, it’s like the bomb vests. I highly, highly doubt we’ll need it.”

Yeah…the bomb vests have not been mentioned to the troops at large. Voluntary or not, most people are not going to like the idea of a suicide vest being anywhere near them. If it comes down to that, then they’ll worry about it.

“If you say so, sir.” He looks from the paper to the mine again. “Did you need anything else?”

“No. You can go; I think Jones wanted to see you.”

Dammit.

* * *

“I’m sure that by now most of you have become aware of the events at Arkham Asylum.”

Antoine’s voice is hoarse, going in and out a little. He hasn’t slept, not really. Sure, Mark got a power nap out of him, but that’s about it and it wasn’t enough. He looks like shit, too, all washed out and with eye bags big enough to take on a cruise. That’ll happen, when you spend too much time in a chair.

“Batman do that, sir?”

“Yes and no. Before I continue, I want it clear: Batman is now considered a level five threat.”

“We can take him. Right, boys?” A cheer goes up. “Just tell us where he is, we’ll bring his head back in two hours.” 

Ha. Trent disagrees. Bastard’s got clown morals with Bat-bullshit, if he’s still alive–and he probably is–‘taking him’ is going to be a real bitch. It’s doable, probably, it’s just going to be difficult, especially with their best resource on both Batman and Joker being at death’s door.

Antoine’s smile is wintery and the cheer dies down, gives way to an uneasy silence. Trent can’t blame them for that. He’s usually the nice one. Nice is relative, but still.

“What you’ll be up against isn’t Batman anymore,” he says. “Now, I’m sure you all attended the briefing regarding the Joker’s death of TITAN poisoning.” Pfft. Trent knows damn well they didn’t, but that’ll keep them from jabbering. “Before that incident, the Joker supplied hospitals with tainted blood, and apparently gave Batman a transfusion as well. The cure didn’t take.” 

He turns to his laptop and taps a few keys. On screen, the footage Jimmy managed to get from the boss’s helmet earlier on Halloween looms large. Trent shudders. He’s seen some shit in his day, but that–a laughing, maniacal Batman attacking with full intent to kill–is in the running for his personal Top Five WTF. Thankfully, Antoine only lets it play for a few seconds, but those few seconds are enough to quiet the skeptical mutterings.

“That’s what you’re up against now. He will kill you, without a second thought. He has already killed Scarecrow–”

“Shit, we work for Richardson now?”

“No. The Arkham Knight dispatched her before the asylum blew up.”

At least that one stuck. Last thing they need is that vindictive little monster blaming them for what happened to Scarecrow.

“For the moment, we are going to continue as we were. I want drones sweeping the city, checkpoints manned, and watchtowers fully operational. If anybody sees anything, you call in immediately and you wait for backup. Don’t be a hero, your insurance does not cover facial removal.” There’s a smattering of nervous chuckles that Antoine does not join in. “Patrols: minimum of four, do not let each other out of your sight. Someone has to piss, you all go. Someone falls in one of those damn potholes and breaks an ankle, you all come back to base as a group. Understood?”

“Yessir.”

“Good. Any questions?” If they have any, they don’t ask them. Antoine closes his laptop, disconnects it, and turns on his heel. “Dismissed.”

Trent steps in fully as they file out. A few of them flinch, but most of them just keep moving.

“You look like shit,” he says bluntly. “Mark’s right, you need sleep.”

“I’m fine. Anything?”

“Couple of false alarms.”

“So no.”

“No.”

“Damn.” Antoine runs a hand through his hair. “Any change with the boss?”

“Still out. Look…what are we going to do, if he…doesn’t…wake up? Batman’s Gotham’s problem, right?”

Antoine just laughs, a little bitter, and starts towards the door.

“He only got maybe a quarter of the mines. We pull our men out and blow this city to Kingdom Come, see him walk that off.”

“What?”

“Komodo Protocol.” 

Trent’s heard of it. Well, seen it, in packets, but there’s never been any information about it. It’s just come up as, like, the last resort, no specifications.

“That’s what that is?” he demands. “Detonate the mines?”

“If it comes to that, yes.”

“Jesus Christ, man–”

“My orders are to put the bastard down, whatever it takes.” Antoine turns towards the back hallway. “Check in with the Arkham troops again, make sure they don’t need any further supplies. Did you send them a Cobra?”

“Yeah, earlier.”

“Good. Keep me posted.”

“Antoine.”

“What.”

“You’re sure about this?”

Antoine stops and turns around, swaying a little at the sudden change of direction.

“Yeah. If he dies, or doesn’t start waking up in another day or two, I’m calling it. We’ll finish the job one way or the other.” Jesus. “This stays between us for now. It may not come to that and there’s no reason to unsettle everyone.”

Trent nods.

“All right. You sure you’re not gonna grab a nap?”

“I’m fine.”

Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Look, Frank or Mark will probably bring the hammer down soon and when they do, Trent will be right there to enforce Bedtime.

“I’m gonna take a squadron out there,” he says. “Me and Riley: we’re taking some of his guys to investigate the little Batcave thing that turned up this morning.”

“Good. Stay in touch; that lecture goes for everyone.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll find the bastard.”

“Hope so.” Antoine turns back around and starts walking again. “Good luck.”

THE END

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 25 and 26: Confrontation and Re-creation

Since both episodes are out, I will review them both. Time to find out if the finale can bring it home

Spoilers below

-Gabriel and Tomoe think they are doing this for their own good. Should have called this episode Delusion.

-So they giving everyone nightmares, at least Adrien isn’t alone in suffering

-Ladrien dream was actually Marinette in ladybug armor. It looked cool but I wanted Ladrien

-Gabriel died in the dream, still don’t get how that’s a nightmare. (Marinette really forgot chat blanc existed

- okay Marinette’s parents dreams are adorable. Tom you sweet man, and Sabine care about their children and eachother.

-oh snap, Alya’s nightmare. Actually realistic and terrifying. For her at least.

-Tikki saw the food. Get it girl.

-Adrien technically been dealing with it the longest… but now it’s not special. Everyone be suffering

-they have a tech antidote for nightmares

-Damn, that is disturbing. And Adrien will probably use it… baby no.

-Okay he resisted. Good for him. Well it wasn’t an order, but still. Adrien is trying.

-Plagg mocking Gabriel.

-Plagg gonna be a menace today

-how many rings does that robot have

-Adrien giving up his miraculous out of despair. What a surprise, he’s gonna be out of the final fight. At least for now. Plagg gotta go get ladybug.

-Tikki ate all them bread. Respect

-“it’s not personal, it’s for Adrien.” That’s PRETTY FUCKING PERSONAL

-Nathalie’s nightmare is basically Gabriel winning. Glad she realized the truth on that… even if it was too little too late.

-Nathalie got a crossbow. KILL GABRIEL WITH IT

-oh damn, I knew all meditation apps were evil!

-Plagg flying across the ocean to get to Ladybug. Plagg will always be the light of my life

-Ladybug finding out Nathalie was A Lara croft

-Plagg gonna be smart about this

-Alliance showing why tech companies are all evil

-THEY ALL DOWNLOADED THE APP! NOT THE RESISTANCE. NOW NO ONE CAN RESISTANCE

-MYLENE THE GOAT! Mylene has shot up so much in my favorite classmate rankings

-Ivan's nightmare sounds adorable

-Mylene start slapping them please. NINO MUST BE DEEP HYPNOTIZED

-NO MYLENE DONT DO IT! And she dropped down in my rankings again

-Damn it, she was tricked by her friends

-Gabriel's cliche speech to Emilie. Blah blah blah. WHAT MORALITY?! YOU WERE ONCE A BRITISH CHIP MAKER?!

-NATHALIE GONNA SHOOT HIM! DO IT! END THIS MAN NATHALIE

-Gabriel really did the 'Appeal to her humanity' then betray her. Dude said he threw away his morality.

-Imagine the last thing you see is that ugly ass costume

-Ladybug learns Nathalie had all of the stuff

-Ladybug just saw that Monarch was Gabriel. Damn. I think thats a first

-Gabriel really just out here slandering and then leaving her with the poison app.

-DID NATHALIE JUST FUCKING DIE?! SHE GAVE EXPOSITION AND DIED

-Okay this is silly how they are turning everyone against Ladybug and Chat noir

-WAIT IS THAT FEI!

-Im convinced every adult in this show is an idiot.

-Oh good, alya is being logical.

-Oh wow, okay so the charm and Cataclysm that gabriel got actually are useful to his plan. Well played. Now die

-OH That is evil. Miraculize me.

-Damn it, i wanted cat alya.

-They tracking her.

-Well I gotta admit, the Alliance minion making is probably Gabriel's most effective plan. But like all plans, the women involved did the heavy lifting

-Ladybug hid by detransforming

-Gabriel is a little TOO enthusiastic about going to find a vulnerable teenage girl in his house

-Plagg finding out that Monarch was in his house the whole time.

-LADYBUG CAT NOIR UNIFICATION!

-KICKED IN THE FACE!

-BUG NOIR!. Okay so I am very mixed on the outfit, but the entrance and that confidence is stunning.

______________________________________________________________

(This is my reaction before watching part 2, so here is my quick thoughts)

For all the stakes and reveals. If I were to rate this by itself I would say... 7/10. I dont like how Adrien is absent for this whole thing. I really hope that this changes and Adrien somehow gets pulled in. Because quite frankly... THIS IS A BIG THING

______________________________________________________________

Okay now for part 2, recreation

-Oh its Lila or Cerise or... WHOMEVER THE F*** SHE IS.

-Seems Alec also had a s*** father.

-What is Lila even doing?

-SHE DROPPED A PIANO ON HIS HEAD! Beautiful

-She's beating his ass!

-Meanwhile back on the boat.

-Rose showing why she has CRAZY ASS STRENGTH

-WANG BE SMACKING BITCHES WITH HIS WOK!

-OMG, SU HAN TRAINED JAGGED STONE AND PENNY IN KUNG FU. Which means luka too.

-hold on, so NO FERNANDO!? 0/10. Needs more fernando.

-BUNNYX! Taking Luka to Paris.

-"I cant interfere, but YOU can."

-Please tell me Fang also knows mirakungfu

-HOT DOG DAN!!!!! THE GREATEST HERO OF ALL TIME! 10/10

-Oh right, Majestia too. To a lesser extent.

-Majestia makes a point.

-Yo, they gave Knight owl an upgrade.

-So basically Majestia and Knight owl are if Super man and Batman were lesbians.

-Monarch does have a point. He has 15 miraculous.

-I do enjoy Monarch getting flipped and kicked

-Did he just cough up Dust? Oh he is dying in real time

-Doesnt he look so redeemable (Sarcasm)

-BEAT HIS ASS WITH A SHOVEL!

-Darkowl was saved

-YO! I just realized that Eagle is the perfect counter for this power.

-Alya's sister split a building in half

-Power of the buffalo. I think the sub meant bull

-Bug noir brings the house down

-FANG!!!!!!!!!!! MVP MVP

-Luka has a cute name for his sister, thats adorable. Okay only 2/10 now

-Also this proves Mirakung fu is easy as hell to learn. so WHY DIDNT SU HAN TEACH LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR!

-Su han, "How can you resist the nightmare."

-Knight owl: "I am the nightmare." That is so batman its hilarious

-FEI COMES IN LIKE A F***ING BEAST!

-Why even use any other transformation, the Dragon is so OP.

-Okay so The typical back and forth between hero and villain. Yea this was expected.

-Adrien wouldnt want this. Adrien wants that. You know who should have a say here? ADRIEN! That would be nice.

-Marinette is clearly more right, obviously. but I still wish Adrien could speak for himself.

-Okay so the heroes are getting widdled down, lila is hacking into the mansion

-Yo! she got a ton of rings with glue and a boomerang. Nice

-She knocked the butterfly off. (which is my bet on how Lila got it)

-So bugnoir won. Nice!

"Check mate." DAMN That was a hard line drop

-And then its ruined because Ladybug sees this guy only has a few hours left to live.

-What is she doing?

-Marinette what the hell are you doing?

-You mean to tell me that Nathalie could have just tied his ass up earlier and made him watch it and that probably could have prevented the whole events.

-But lets be honest, the only reason Gabriel feels the way he does right now is because his plan failed and he is dying

-IT TOOK A 30 SECOND CLIP. 30 F***ING SECONDS

-Yes, you did ruin everything. Now die sad.

-Gabriel is like "You make the wish"

-AND Marinette gets betrayed. She tried to Steven Universe this bit but ended up Venomed.

-Well at least Gabriel is still a dick.

-Reveal yourselves?

OH DAMN! THEY LOOK SO FUCKING COOL!!!

-I can see a certain group of fans being happy with these designs.

-GIMMI. THE KWAMI OF REALITY?!

-Oh damn so thats their fused form.

-Wait, why didnt Ladybug and Chat noir just summon their kwami's god forms to fight?

-Gimmi is a whole ass mood

-Gabriel, you dont deserve to be remembered as a good father. You were s***

-So Gabriel wins. yea this f***ing sucks

-Universe gets wiped

-WTF. Its a utopia?!

-Adrien gets two moms

-Glad everyone is having a grand old time but... wtf

-Oh look a NORMAL BABY!

-There are so many jokes I can make here but I will abstain.

-THEY GAVE GABRIEL A F***ING STATUE

-A world without Gabriel agreste meme here

-I really want to see this utopia completely uprooted and turned into chaos more than anything

-It sucks because there is some PRIME adrinette moment right in front of me, but it just feels like Adrien is left in the dark and gaslit.

-A cute kiss. But something seems wrong

-So they fixed the miraculous but the butterfly is missing (called it)

-Wait, Everyone gets a miraculous now?!

ALSO NO REVEAL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

-Even Sabrina?!

-Wait, so Argos is allowed?! but how though?!

-Wait, how many endings does this episode have?

-Lila back at it again

-Wait... What the f*** happened?!

_________________________________________________________

Okay so this was a b**** and a half to finally watch

But yea. I do NOT like how this basically gave Gabriel his win.

Yea he's dead but he won.

Adrien has no idea that his father basically did that, and it makes the whole fight seem pointless.

Then there is all that utopia crap. (DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THIS. )

The adrinette is sweet and all that.

But ADRIEN IS BEING GASLIT. Its some bulls***

Also how does Marinette remember the wish? Wasnt it supposed to be some cosmic rewrite?

All I know is... I need some time to think. Do I even want to continue watching ML. Knowing that Gabriel wins and gets treated like a martyr.

Season 6 needs to start with some sort of Upheaval. Consequences need to be had.

As for my rating.

I cant give it an honest rating right now. I need to cool off.

Is it the worst written? No. But the ending has pissed me off

it feels tainted.