#not that i know that many clown songs. but well. you get the idea

[lem-argentum]

i love having a jester-y self insert i finally have someone to associate all my clown tunes with :]

[loonylesbian]

ok i am very much so not a writer, or at least not creatively. but i had this idea and i couldn’t get it out of my head so i decided to write it out. it ended up being 6.1k words so feel free to not finish it cause i’m sure it’s not good. however if you do read the entire thing i hope you like it and don’t clown on me too hard. long story short either you’re welcome for this or i’m sorry for this. there is no inbetween

naked in manhattan // k. martin

10 years ago

“Kate can you believe it! We’re starting high school!!!” you scream, hugging your best friend on the last day of summer. If you were being totally honest, you were nervous never being good at making friends, always relying on Kate for that. Her being so outgoing and friendly, it’s not that you weren’t nice, you really were, if anyone asked Kate would say that you’re the sweetest person she’s ever met, you were just shy. Talking to just about anyone made you nervous, in fact, you had a short list of people who didn’t make you nervous.

“I know! It’s gonna be great, I’m gonna do my best in basketball and volleyball, and you, my little genius, are gonna be the best in every class, and make tons of new friends,” she reassured you as if she could feel the nerves radiating off of you in waves. You were grateful for that, she had always been able to know exactly what you were feeling and how to help, even if you didn’t. It was one of your favorite things about her, sure there were too many things you loved about her to count, but that was one of your absolute favorites.

“I promise I’m gonna do my best to make it to each and every single game of yours,” you told her holding up your pinky while looking up at her, she giggled and interlocked her pinky with yours in a pinky promise, something you have insisted on doing since you met. You swore that it was more real than a regular promise, and made it to where the universe let the promise happen, not just the people involved.

“Well if it’s a pinky promise, I know you're never gonna miss a game,” she replied with a smile reserved just for you.

7 years ago

So far your promise had held, not without some struggle, but you had still attended every game Kate had for both sports she played, and just about every other game she just wanted to watch. There were a few games where you were late because of your job, studying, or other things that had gotten in the way, and the two times where you sat as far away from everyone else as humanly possible because you didn’t want to get them sick but also didn’t want to miss Kate’s game, but for the most part you sat right at the front to cheer on your best friend.

After the game tonight you guys were gonna have a sleepover as tradition for Friday night games, whether it resulted in a win or a loss. Either way, you usually ended up in her arms bringing her comfort, whether that be her knowing that she deserves it because she played well and won to bring her down from that high or wishing she had done things differently to change that loss and you reassuring her that it wasn’t all her fault, because as far as your were concerned basketball was a team sport and a loss couldn’t hang solely on one person's shoulders. After all, you were her number one supporter, never failing to let her know how proud of her you are and how much you love her no matter how she feels. You made everything feel okay for her, but it was the least you could do, afterall she did that and more for you.

when i sing that lana song it makes you cry

On the drive back to her house listening to the radio, she couldn’t help but look at you as much as she could without crashing the car. She couldn't help but feeling like she was was really listening to the song for the first time as you were singing along to “Young and Beautiful” by Lana Del Ray. She didn’t quite know what it was but when she looked at you and listened to you singing she couldn't help but feel her heart race and her body flush, she swore she could listen to you forever. Had someone told her in that moment she would never get to hear you sing like that, she would swear she’d cry And if anyone asked, she would tell them she liked girls, it wasn’t like it was a secret, and she’s had crushes before, she knows what it feels like. But she never thought she would have a crush on you, purely because you were her best friend, she couldn’t do that, it could ruin your friendship. That wasn't something she was willing, or at least wanted, to risk. A friendship that you've had since kindergarten, although now that she thought about it, it was basically a lesbian right of passage to fall in love with your best friend and-

mean girls we watch every night, and we both have a crush on regina george

“So wanna watch Mean Girls?” you ask abruptly interrupting her thoughts. Truth be told she’s glad that you did, it was probably best that she didn’t dwell on those thoughts for too long. Little did she know she wasn’t the only one who wasn’t having completely friendly thoughts about the other. She was just the only one who wasn’t in total denial about liking girls in the first place.

“Obviously. As if we would watch anything else first,” she replies with a scoff as if it were crazy for you to even ask. Although, to be fair it was crazy of you to ask because that was the first movie you watched anytime you had a sleepover, and it had been that way for years.

“Sorry. Sorry. I forgot you had a crush on Regina George,” you said with a small chuckle, brushing off the twinge of pain you felt at the idea of Kate having a crush on anyone else, even if it was a fictional character from a movie. Because why would you be sad or jealous about that? She was just your best friend, right?

Kate flushed even more red at this comment if that were possible with the combination of the game she had just played and watching you. Even though it was chilly outside and in the car, in that moment it felt like it was 100°. She wasn’t sure if it was nerves or joy that was causing her to feel that way, but she did. In that moment life was perfect, the chill in the air, the rain falling around the car they sat in, the now soft music coming from the speakers, and most importantly you. She wished she could stay in that moment forever, just taking you in, stuck in that perfect moment forever. She let out a slightly nervous chuckle, lightly biting her lip, before she replied, not wanting to break the peace she felt.

“Okay, okay, don’t act like you don’t have a crush on her too. I know you have a thing for blondes.” She finally lets out trying to wave you off and ignore her pounding heartbeat, all while trying to steal another glance at you. What she doesn’t notice, however, is your face flushing or your fists clenching when she says that as if she uncovered a deep dark secret, that you hadn’t told anybody. And to be fair that’s exactly how you felt, you did have a crush on this mean girl and you did have a thing for blondes, but you hadn’t quite come to terms with that yourself, let alone talk to anybody about it. So if anyone asked, the blondes you had a thing for were blonde guys, but you were hoping nobody would ask. Even if that person was Kate, your best friend.

And you didn’t notice her grip on the steering wheel tighten a little bit, waiting for a response. Hoping you would do or say anything to acknowledge what she had said, telling her she was right or wrong, waving her off altogether, laughing. She waited for any acknowledgment of what she had said for the rest of the ride home, but it never came. Instead, you changed the subject all together after sitting in silence for a few minutes. You hoped she didn’t notice that, but she did.

And so you followed your typical Friday night game routine, going to her house, watching Mean Girls, finding yourselves tangled up together but never acknowledging it, and then turning on some other random show or movie before falling asleep. Still in each other's arms. Still, just best friends.

6 years ago

Today was the day, the last full day before your crush best friend was leaving you. Ok well not you per se, but she was leaving. And yes you were also going to leave and go even farther in a few weeks, but that’s beside the point. It still felt like she was leaving you and it just didn’t feel right. You couldn’t exactly put into words how or why you felt so badly about it, but you did. Maybe the fact that you had never been apart for longer than a week played a part in it. Sure, you were both gonna go off and hopefully live your dreams, but it just didn’t feel right to do that away from each other. However, she was going to Iowa and you were going to New York and there's nothing you could do to change that now. And you did genuinely think about going to Iowa instead, but New York was your dream, so when you got into culinary school there you decided to go. You knew you loved it and you knew that New York was a great place to start, not to get started on the fact that it could take you literally anywhere you wanted to go. That didn’t make the decision any less painful though.

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” you whispered in Kate’s ear giving her a hug. You honestly don’t know why you’re saying it right now, it’s not like she's leaving right this second, but you still need to say it, and you’ll probably say it about 1,000 more times before you actually have to say goodbye in the morning after your final Friday night sleepover, even if it didn’t follow a game you guys have grown into the habit of doing this almost every Friday night. She squeezes you tighter if possible when she hears this, trying to burn that moment into her memory, knowing she loves you but it’s too late to do anything about it now, at least not anything serious. It wouldn’t be fair to either of you, to admit her feelings for you after years of friendship less than 24 hours before you guys go to different states for college. It would be cruel, and she told herself it would almost be more cruel if you felt the same way about her. She knew that you came to terms with being queer, at least enough to admit it to her and yourself, what she didn’t know is that a big part of that was you coming to terms with being in love with her. But still, it was too late and she had to let that be.

“I’m gonna miss you too,” Kate said with a big sigh before releasing you, muttering a quick “more than you could know,” under her breath, hoping you didn’t hear. Happy when you showed no indication of hearing the last part.

“But we still have a whole afternoon/night to do all of our favorite things together before I leave. And we can go get our favorite breakfast in the morning,” she said with a more upbeat tone, poking your sides slightly, trying to lighten your spirits too. Slightly succeeding when she saw you perk up a little, putting a small smile on her face.

“Okay, okay, so what do you say to popcorn, Mean Girls, and a bunch of candy?” you asked, slightly mimicking her accent. She replies with an eager nod. Grabbing your hand and pulling you to her room after making a pit stop for the snacks, failing to notice the blush that covered your cheeks. You simply follow her rushed pace, happy you decided to wear sweats and a tank top, as opposed to something like jeans to lounge around in.

By the time you were about halfway through the movie, you found yourself wrapped in her arms, like usual. But for some reason not knowing when you’ll see her again after this, and the cheesy high school coming-of-age movie in the background made you a little more confident. Not super confident to where you would outright tell Kate that you’re in love with her, but confident enough to try and hint at something, which is more than you’d ever been willing to do with anyone else. So that’s what you do. Especially after spending years denying your feelings, and almost a whole extra year hiding them.

“You know what sucks,” you start off looking up at her waiting for any kind of acknowledgment. She finally looks down at you with a light “Hmm?”

“I’m about to go to college and I haven’t even had my first kiss,” you say unable to stop your eyes from glancing down to her lips. This statement took her off guard, sure, you had never talked about anyone, guys or girls, but you’re you and she figured you had your first kiss and in your typical shy fashion, you just hadn't wanted to bring it up.

“What? No way!” she says laughing a little only realizing her mistake when she saw your face drop.

“No no no, I didn’t mean it like that. I just don’t get how you of all people haven’t had your first kiss yet!” she exclaims “I mean you’re literally perfect, you’re beautiful, you’re smart, you’re funny, you’re a great cook, I mean you're my favorite person in the world. I just don’t get how no one’s kissed you yet!” she finished off her little rant with a small huff.

“Well no one’s wanted to,” you mumble looking down a little bit, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden.

“That’s not true,” she mumbles quieter now than she had been before, suddenly feeling almost as shy as you while taking you off guard. It was pretty obvious what she meant, no hidden meaning laced in with her words, unable to pick her gaze back up to your eyes once they dropped down to your lips.

“I mean would you?” you question with a little more confidence once you notice where she's looking. You can’t help but follow her lead and look down to her lips, before going back up to her eyes, even though she still wasn’t looking.

touch me baby, put your lips on mine

“It doesn’t have to be weird or anything, it's just you’re my best friend, and I’ve never kissed anyone, and you’re leaving tomorrow and I don’t want to go to college without at least having my first kiss,” you kind of spit out hoping you don’t sound pathetic or desperate, or make her want to kick you out.

“Would you want me to?” she questions back, already knowing your answer but just wanting to ask to know that you were sure.

“Yeah, I’d like that” You rush out in a kind of whisper to her nodding, so she nods back to you. You can both tell that you’re nervous, each for different reasons. All it takes for you to start leaning into each other is locking your eyes again. In that moment she looks like an angel, with the soft glow of the lamp making her hair look even more golden than usual, to the way she was looking at you, not to mention how you felt about the grip she had on you. You barely even had time to actually look at her before her lips crashed onto yours. And that’s exactly what it felt like in that moment, like waves crashing onto cliffs, a completely overwhelming feeling, yet still, it brought you a newfound sense of peace. She pulled you as close to her as possible, knowing that this may be the only time you get to do this, not wanting to be even an inch away from you. At this point you were basically straddling her while she was leaning up against her headboard, both wanting nothing more than to be together, knowing you couldn’t.

You had never kissed anyone before but thought to yourself that in that moment that if this is what it is like you never wanted to stop. Kate had kissed people before, and you knew that, but what you didn’t know was that none of those felt anything like with you. They couldn’t compare. Not by a long shot. If she didn’t know how much she loved you before, she definitely knew now. The only issue is that she knows this, it’s gonna make it even harder to leave you in the morning.

By the time you guys pull away breathless from a mixture of kissing, nerves, and giddiness, you can’t help but feel at peace, resting your foreheads against each other’s. Sure you knew that nothing could come of this, that nothing would come of this, at least not right now. But you were happy. Happy that you got to show her how much you love her in one small way, one new way. Happy that you got to know her, and happy that she felt the same way about you. Even if you guys didn’t necessarily talk about it, or say outright say it, you both knew that was always one of the best things about your friendship, you didn’t have to actually talk in order to communicate and get your point across, and even when you did need words you didn’t need many of them.

So when you guys make eye contact again you come to a silent agreement, you have that night, and the next morning to talk if you want. You know you love each other, but also that there's realistically nothing you can do for you to start a relationship at that moment and have it work out. Not when you were about to be nearly 1,000 miles apart. It wasn’t right to risk it. And you both know that you’re too important to each other to risk your friendship, especially when almost all of the circumstances are pointing to it not working out. So, you have that night, after that, you’re friends again, maybe not even best friends, and if it works out you can be together in the future when you can be closer. But for the time being this is for the best, this is safe.

April 2024 || Present Day

It had been years since you and Kate had last seen each other properly, there were brief passings when you were both in your hometown that resulted in short conversations, but you were both barely there, you less than her, and when you were your family made sure you never went longer than 20 minutes without them other than to let you sleep. You had stuck to being friends, not best friends, just friends. Never talking about that night, your last night together. Not wanting to risk it, not yet. Other than that, you guys have managed to text each other occasionally to check-in. Keeping each other updated on your lives, but not close. It was as if you had both come to the understanding that you should keep a certain level of distance so as not to ruin what you had. Knowing that if you talked more, you would’ve talked about what could have been more. And you just couldn’t risk it.

id love if you knew you were on my mind, constant like cicadas in the summertime

That’s not to say that you didn’t keep an eye on her and her basketball. You had been her #1 fan since day one, and even if you didn’t talk or see each other as much as you used to, you wouldn’t let that change. You still felt the exact same way when you thought about her, even if you tried not to. Even when you knew you shouldn’t. You just couldn’t stop thinking about her. While you obviously couldn’t go to all of her games anymore, you still watched every single one, even when you were at work during them you would try to either watch it on your phone or record it and watch it when you got home later. You even managed to take off work for both the Final Four and the Finals this year to watch her and her team, even if you didn’t make it in person, you still had to watch the games live. And once you heard that she had declared for the WNBA draft you had to get a ticket for that, it was perfect, it was in Brooklyn so you didn’t have to travel more than taking the subway. And this time you told yourself that you would talk to her, not go up to her at the draft but you would text her and let her know that you were gonna be there if she wanted to meet up after, or at any point while she was in town. You would make an effort to see her. You really didn’t know when the next time you’d get the chance to see her again would be, it’s been so long since the last time, partially due to schedule, partially due to nerves, and you were about to move across the country to Las Vegas for a new job. You figured it was now or never, and you really hoped you would get the chance to see her so you could get her out of your mind.

You knew you had to try. Try to talk to her, try to see her, try something. You couldn’t stand it anymore, constantly thinking about her, you needed closure, even if there wasn’t necessarily anything to get closure about. You still had to try. So even though you had grown up a lot in the past six years, you had learned to start a conversation instead of stuttering your way through when someone came up to you, gotten more friends, and most importantly gained confidence and figured out a pretty good idea of who you were. You were nowhere near as shy as you used to be, but still the mere idea of Kate brought back butterflies that made you feel like you were in high school again. Frankly, the feeling had to be classified as something stronger than butterflies. So obviously the idea of calling her went out the window for you, you figured she was so busy anyway that she probably wouldn't answer, and you told yourself that if she chose not to answer a text it would hurt less than not answering a call. And after a lot of thinking and rewriting, you finally sent her the text.

“Hey Kate, I heard you’re gonna be in town for the draft and I know you’re probably busy but I would love to see you. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been keeping up with your games, I’m so proud of you, still your #1 fan, and can’t wait to see where you go. I’m gonna be at the draft rooting for you, just like I have been every step of the way even when I couldn’t physically be there. So if you wanna meet up after the draft or at any point while you’re in town let me know.”

Once you hit send you waited, and waited, and waited. Once it hit six hours with no response you figured you weren’t going to get one. Now that you had sent it, you realized that it was more nerve-wracking to sit and wait for the possibility of a response than to try and figure out what to say and hit send. Every possible reaction she could have had to your text was running through your head, well not every one, just every bad one. You didn’t know what she was thinking, or how she thought anymore, and that was terrifying to you. The nerves were so bad that to anyone watching you probably looked like a mess, flushed cheeks, sweaty, a little hunched over, and very clearly looking nauseous. But you were fine, it was no big deal.

You lied to yourself, it still hurt that you didn’t get an answer, but still decided to go to the draft anyway. Even if she didn’t want to see you, you still wanted to support her, figuring it was a big event and the chance of you seeing each other let alone talking were slim to none. You could go and didn’t have to talk if she didn’t want to. Plus you didn’t want to waste your money after you already bought the ticket and more than anything you wanted to support her, she was your first friend, your best friend, so far your most important friend, and now she's about to be a professional basketball player. You had to be there to see it come full circle, after spending the better part of ten years being able to count the number of her games you hadn’t seen on one hand, and saying you were her #1 fan, you just couldn’t miss it. Not for you, and certainly not for her.

By the time you had actually gotten to the draft and it started you were so focused on listening for Kate or her name, you couldn’t focus on anything else. You couldn’t hear anything that wasn’t related to her. You were confident that she was going to get drafted, but there was still a “what if” sitting in the back of your mind knowing your heart would break for her if she didn’t, maybe more than hers. Then you heard it, “With the 18th pick in the 2024 WNBA Draft, The Las Vegas Aces select Kate Martin, University of Iowa.” you were so focused on her getting on a team that you didn’t think of the city she might end up in. You wish you could hit rewind when you heard it, almost not believing it. She got drafted to the Las Vegas Aces, you would be in the same city for the first time in 6 years. There could be a chance of you guys actually happening. Of course, she still had to go through training camp and make the roster before she was officially on the team, but you have no doubt that that’s going to be the easy part compared to everything else that it took to get to that moment. Not to mention text you back. When you’re finally able to focus again, there have been a few more picks you decide to go on your phone and check Twitter to see what they are saying about the draft. What you didn't expect to see when you opened your phone, however, was a message from Kate.

🏀Kate 🏀

“Hey, sorry I didn’t see your message or get back to you earlier! I’m so happy that my #1 fan came to support me just like you have been all these years. It means the absolute world to me to know that you came here for me tonight because I wasn’t even sure I was gonna make it. I haven’t been on my phone like at all today, but I’d love if you’d come celebrate with me and my friends tonight? It only feels right that you’re there, you’ve been there for pretty much everything else already, you should be there to celebrate now too.”

When you read the text you could’ve sworn your stomach quite literally did flips, while a giddy feeling erupted through your body, even releasing a small, relieved, laugh. At this point, the last thing you were expecting was to get a response, at most expecting to go to a bar close to your apartment for a drink or two, if you were feeling frisky. But upon seeing her text, you decided “Why not?” and decided to respond.

“Yeah of course I’d love to celebrate with you and your friends!! You deserve it after all the hard work you put in to get here. Just send me the time and place and I’ll meet you there.”

You tried to keep your response short and sweet, not trying to read too much into what she said or trying to seem too eager. Although, you were quite excited to actually see her and have the opportunity to talk to her again. You figured it wasn’t guaranteed that you were even going to talk more than a simple greeting, let alone that she would want to talk about what happened the last time you spent any substantial amount of time together. Hell, you weren’t even sure you’d stay longer than half an hour. But before you could dwell on it too long, you got a response, with nothing more than an address and a time.

//

By the time you show up, which is 20 minutes late due to nerves alone, you are sure Kate had forgotten that she had even invited you. What you hadn’t expected was for everyone to automatically know who you were, greeting you excitedly. You thought at most one, maybe two people would vaguely know who you were, but you didn’t expect all of your friends to recognize you and know pretty much everything about you. Including things you were pretty sure you hadn’t told Kate when you would catch up.

But that’s exactly what happened, all of her teammates knew who you were, Jada, Gabbie, and Caitlin, even people she barely knew. Never in a million years did you think that she could possibly talk about you that much. You didn’t think there could possibly be that much for someone to talk about regarding you, let alone that anyone would want to, especially after 6 years of limited communication. Yet it warmed your heart, it made you happier than you had been in a long time, to know that she talked about you, that she cared about you enough to talk about you that much. Jada went as far as to say,

“We finally get to meet you after her nonstop talking about you for I don’t even know how long. We were starting to think Kate made you up,” before giving you a hug in greeting. You could tell from that alone that she was an absolute sweetheart.

new crush, high school love again

By the time you had been able to talk to Kate for any substantial amount of time, it was clear that you both had a few drinks. Neither one of you could help yourselves from embracing each other in a long overdue hug, slightly rocking as she lightly rubbed your back. You couldn’t help but feel like you belong there. You had always felt like you belonged when you were with Kate, fitting together like two puzzle pieces. Like you had wasted time not being there. You never wanted to leave her side again. You didn’t think you could stand it. At that moment, hugging each other again for the first time in you don’t know how long, you both felt like you were in high school again. You knew she still gave you butterflies, but in that moment you could have sworn you fell in love with her all over again.

“I’m so proud of you, I knew you could do it,” you whisper while pulling away from the all-too-long hug. Looking up at her, you were filled with an all-new type of butterfly, a bird maybe. Filled with a sense of joy knowing she was happy to see you, and a sense of contentment knowing that you were going to be in the same city again, for the first time in years. Knowing that you know each other, without really knowing each other. In a sense you know each other, you kept each other updated on the big things, relationships you were in when you talked, basic interests, but you didn’t know what really mattered. You didn’t know the little things, the day-to-day, the highs and the lows, and you missed that. You missed knowing the one thing that made her day unbearable, or the one thing that got her through the day. It was always you, to this day. But she wasn’t willing to tell you that yet. She loved you, and you her, and you both knew that, but you only knew that past tense.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” she says into your ear sending a shiver down your spine. You had officially fallen even more in love with her than the last time you saw each other, and you barely talked yet. And just like no time had passed, able to see the change in your demeanor, she grabbed you by the hips before looking into your eyes.

“I’m serious y’know? I really wouldn’t be here without you. You made it all worth it,” she pauses, eyes briefly scanning the room. “Every time I felt like I couldn’t do it, you made sure to tell me that I could. You made it clear that you believed in me, but you weren’t ever gonna push me into something I didn’t want. Even when you weren’t there I still thought of you. Thought of what you would say, how you would make everything better. You got me here baby,” she finishes off. Her eyes found their way back to yours while she talked, the intensity of her gaze alone could melt you.

“Even though I wasn’t there I never missed a game. I watched every single one, even if it was just a recording. I'm still your #1 fan, and I can promise to never miss a game of yours in the WNBA now either. I’ll even be at all the home games,” you smile up at her looking to see if she caught onto your words. You can see her trying to figure out what you meant, her eyebrows scrunching up in confusion as she was thinking before a smile eventually broke out on her face.

“What? Are you moving to Vegas?” she asks, her volume growing with each word. She grabbed you by the shoulders before lightly shaking you in disbelief. As if trying to figure out whether or not this was really happening.

“Yeah, I got a job there and I’m moving at the beginning of May,” you say laughing at her clear excitement. To her it felt like she was about to burst, this is what you had been waiting for, this was a sign. It wasn’t planned and neither one of you had any idea it was going to happen, but you were going to be together again.

the rush of slumber party kissing

“I can’t believe it! Are you joking?” she asks looking down at you for any hint of a lie coming from you, but she found none, so she continued. “Like we’re actually going to live in the same city? This is amazing, I can’t believe it.” and then it slips out, she doesn’t mean to say it, but she does, “We could try. Like we could actually be together, for real-” By the time she realizes what she said she was looking at the floor and couldn’t bear to try and meet your gaze. After all, she basically just confessed that she was still in love with you after 6 years of barely seeing or talking to each other.

“Really? You’d want that?” you ask her, grabbing her face and lifting it to meet your eyes. You couldn’t believe she wanted you, after all this time she still wanted you. So you did something Kate never in a million years thought you would’ve done, you kissed her. She wasn’t sure where your confidence had come from whether it had been her basically admitting that she never moved on from you, or the drinks you had, or just simply you growing up and actually being more confident. But she couldn’t think about that now. Now she had you in her arms, for the first time in years. She had you in a way she thought she had missed out on because she waited. And in that moment she knew she wasn’t going to let you go ever again.

[thisismeracing]

Charlieverse | CL16

― Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!reader ― Word count: 2.1k ― Warnings: mentions of alcohol and Halloween costumes (clowns, werewolves, and others).  ― Summary: When Yn decided to go to a Halloween party with her best friend, Charles Leclerc, she did not consider that some of the fantasies would be so close to reality that they would terrify her. But one thing Yn had no idea about too, was Charles’ feelings for her. All Hallow’s Eve is not the most romantic scenario to confess your feelings, but it might be just the perfect one for them.

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There are many sayings about how sharing is caring, and how life feels bigger and better when you do so.

Charles knew this all too well.

He was used to sharing everything with you since he was a kid.

It all started after you forgot your snack at home. He was only five years old then, but he had two brothers so he knew exactly what to do. Little Charles offered to share his bag of colored goldfish and grapes with you. The next day you shared your coloring pencils with him. It started with simple things, and it grew as you both grew older. All through the school years, Charles and you were inseparable, even with his crazy racing schedule. You would take notes for him, he would bring you stories, and you would study together until late hours. You shared your fears, deepest feelings, and even the shame of being underdressed when invited to a party such as now.

“I had no idea people would go this hard,” you state, watching as the Taxi driver came to a halt in front of the big doors. Gathered in front of the mansion were people dressed as all kinds of gore Halloween beings, some of the makeup seeming too real to your liking.

“We can go back home and change if you want,” there’s Charles' tranquil voice. He is always the one to keep his patience even if the world is ending, and you love that about him.

You shake your head, “We would never find something else in time, plus, we’re together, so… here’s to another good story,” you point to your matching costumes, and Charles smiles.

You’re both wearing Spiderman costumes. Though it felt like the best choice, the easiest one, you should have guessed it was too easy and, therefore, not ideal.

Charles gives you one last wink before putting on his mask. You do the same just as he opens the door for you, and hand in hand you walk through the crowd into the house. You cling to your best friend’s arm trying to stay as far away as possible from some of the costumes.

“You sure you’re ok over there?” Charles asks when you’re halfway to the kitchen, and you tighten your grip on his hand.

You nod, “Yeah, just.. That werewolf costume seems too realistic.” And there’s no need for you to explain to him. He knows you like he knows the back of his hand, his favorite track, his most played song. Charles knows that someone planted a seed of fear about some creatures when you were little, and some of the stories have stayed with you even after you grew. It is a bit curious how despite your fears, you still love Halloween, at least the kind of parties you go to where people will dress in a way that clearly shows that they are human beings and meant no harm.

Were you supposed to guess that a certain crazy clown costume was a mere costume after seeing people being killed by those?

You wouldn’t stay to answer that question.

When you finally reach the kitchen, both of you take off the mask to your friends, hugging and making your rounds. Charles grabs you two a drink and you choose to stay there instead of mingling and risking bumping into scary figures.

“Can you get me another of these?” You mouth to Charles pointing at your empty cup. From across the kitchen, he nods, and a few seconds later he’s in front of you with a full cup.

“They were out of ice, is it ok if we share this one?” he asks over the music and you nod. You’re sitting on the counter, and when Charles turns to your friends he stands right between your legs. One of your hands goes to his shoulders, and you keep talking about your costume as if your heart weren’t hammering inside your ribcage, almost coming out from your throat the second his hand finds your knee, holding it so your anxious bounce can cease.

You gulp trying to keep your attention on whatever your friend is talking about because all your mind can focus on is your best friend’s hand on you, his body radiating warmth into yours. And not that it is unusual for Charles to touch it, quite the opposite, he loves to hug and kiss those he cares about, but it’s just lately your heart seemed to wish for a different kind of sharing.

It wants to share the secret touches. It wants to claim hungry kisses, tears of happiness, loud silences, and whispered mysteries. It is as if your heart created a reality where you had all of this with Charles.

Your own Charlie-verse.

The party keeps going in full swing, and Charles never leaves your side for over thirty minutes. He comes and goes always checking if you’re ok and if you want to go with him, but you choose the safety of the counter and your crowd of friends. The conversation is good, and so is the booze, from the kitchen you can see a bit of the living room and the pool area through the glass doors.

And it’s only when part of the girls decide to go dancing that you hop off the counter, and grab Charles’ hands following him in the direction of another crowd of friends. You’re tipsy enough to lace your fingers with his and to tighten your grip when you pass people dressed as clowns, werewolves, and with fake open wounds.

You end up in the pool area in front of Charles, he holds your body protectively against his, while his other hand has a cup you’re still sharing. The conversation is between the group, but every once in a while something will catch his attention and he’ll whisper about it in your ear, to which you’ll slightly turn your head, chuckle, and then answer him.

Though you felt a bit out of place at first with how everyone’s costumes seemed so extra compared to yours, you and Charles have had a lot of fun. So much so that you have given up going back home and decided to share a cab to his apartment.

Half of the ride a tipsy Charles is lecturing you with his “I told you so” about how he suggested you slept at his place and you denied it before the party. You just rest your head on his shoulder and pretend you are listening to his non-stop rant.

As it happens, the driver seems a bit uninterested in Charles’ rant because he turns the music on, and the last song that starts playing when he makes the curve into Charles’ street is Michael Jackson. You shriek and start jumping on the car seat.

“Chérie, it’s late,” your best friend tries to reason, but you just giggle.

“You have soundproof walls.”

“But not windows,” he tries again, and you playfully roll your eyes before getting out of the car wishing the driver a good night.

“Annie, are you okay?” you start to sing as you reach the elevators, and Charles just fakes a sigh, holding you close by the waist.

“So, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie?” you sing loudly until you reach the penthouse.

“Love, that’s not Smooth Criminal’s dance, that’s Thriller…” Charles holds back his laughter when you start a made-up choreography in his living room. “Oh mon dieu, you’re so precious.”

You giggle, smacking a loud kiss on his warm cheeks. While you make your track to the bathroom Charles goes to the kitchen.

“I’m using the guest bathroom! Go shower on the main one, you stinky!” you scream from the corridors and you hear his scoff, almost able to picture his eye roll.

You go through your shower on autopilot, brushing your teeth, and reaching for one of Charles’ shirts that are on the guest bedroom bed. Your visits have been so frequent you have everything you need there, but tonight you didn’t want one of your pajamas, you want to indulge in the daydream that your mind is harnessing.

When you reach your favorite Monegasque bedroom you can hear the shower still running, so you settle in the middle of his bed, staring at the ceiling. Somewhere in your head, there’s still music playing and your body seems to have kept a bit of the buzzing from the party. The distant noises coming from the open windows, along with the wind hitting the curtains lull you into a soft slumber, that only goes away when a door closes, you guess it's his closet, you smell his body wash and shampoo before he steps close to you.

There’s too much happening inside your head, so you choose to stay in silence while your best friend watches you attentively, eyes finding yours in a beat.

Charles, on the other hand, doesn’t have much in his head. He only has you. Your smell, your laugh, your voice, your body on his bed wearing his shirt.

“You’re the prettiest person I’ve ever seen,” his mouth works faster than his brain does, and just like that you’re staring at him in confusion.

It’s like his brain is shortcircuited.

Charles gets up from the bed.

He walks to the door, then turns around and comes back to your side. There’s a crease between his brows and you have known him long enough to identify it as worry.

“Sharls, what’s going on?”

“I’m not drunk ok? Before you say anything, I’m not drunk, I’m just tipsy like you,” he starts and you nod from your spot on the bed. “I am so sorry, but I have to tell you this, and I’ll completely understand if you don’t feel the same, but I have to take this out of my chest, Yn.”

Sensing how serious the situation is you sit up, legs crossed one over the other, hands tucked under them.

“I- uhm… See- It’s like this, I-”

“Charles,” you call.

“I’m in love with you,” he spills in a single sentence, but then he keeps going. “I love you so fucking much it’s starting to hurt the fact that I’ve been keeping it from you. And I don’t even know when it started, but I’m so used to sharing everything with you, I just.. I wanted us to share more. I wanted to share my bed with you, and my clothes, and-” he points with his fingers before you could say something, “And I know we already share those things, but I want to do it differently. I want to share romantically. I want to share my heart with you, Chérie, all of it. But I’ll understand if you’re confused or overwhelmed by my outburst, in fact… shit… I should have waited in case you wanted to go home right? Please, tell me that if you don’t feel the same you’ll at least get the farthest guest bedroom, I promise I won’t bother you, we’ll pretend it didn’t happen in the morning and I-”

“No,” you interrupt.

“Pardon?”

“I said no, I won’t sleep in the farthest guest bedroom.”

“Oh- then let me drive you, just…– fuck I can’t I drank… uhm I’ll–”

“No, Charles, stop,” you get on your knees on the mattress and reach for his arm, bringing his body close to yours.

“No, I’m not sleeping in the guest bedroom because we’re sharing a bed tonight. No, I’m not mad about your admission, I’m sharing my heart with you too. Romantically,” you confess.

His shoulders drop in relief, and you giggle, threading your fingers on his soft strands. Charles mutters something you can’t understand because you’re too focused on how his face seems different from this angle, after all the confessed words. He’s still your Charles, but he’s also a new Charles, and this knowledge brings a new feeling to your heart and stomach.

When his lips find yours, soft and warm, a contrast with his cold hands on your jaw and waist, he presses your bodies closer and hums in pleasure. You smile, unable to contain your happiness. He kisses you like you’ve never been kissed before, and when the air has made itself scarce, you part the kiss, foreheads still touching.

“So, Charlie, are you okay? Are you okay, Charlie?”

Charles throws his head back and laughs.

He knows how insufferable you could get once a song gets stuck in your head.

“I was struck down. You’re such a smooth criminal, Chérie. Stealing hearts around so easily.”

It is your turn to laugh.

“That was cheesy, but I loved it,” you mumble before pressing a kiss to his jaw. “I love you.”

────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi, lovelies! I hope you liked the piece, I wanted to add a huge shout-out to Delia (@struggling-with-delia on Tumblr) for proof and beta-reading this <3.  Let me know your thoughts on this piece *mwah*.  

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[callsign-rogueone]

like snow on the beach - r.g.

Ridoc Gamlyn x marked!reader a continuation of love at first fight, part of the Ridoc and Sweetheart series 🦋 words: 2.8k 🏷: FOURTH WING SPOILERS. she/her, feminine reader (wears a dress for Reunification Day, referred to as a girl/woman). mentions of canon character death, mentions of dissociation and anxiety. you have a panic attack, but someone helps you through it. titled after the tswift song!

“Don’t look now, but that guy from second squad is staring at you again,” Liam says quietly. “At your four.”

You twist in your seat as if cracking your back, looking over your shoulder. Sure enough, the cute curly-haired boy who had handed you the dagger you’d won from Jack Barlowe the other day is looking right at you. 

“Say the word and I’ll handle him,” Imogen offers, picking at her nails with disinterest. She’s been itching for another fight since her last opponent tapped out after ten seconds. 

The tall redhead sitting across from him notices you’re looking in their direction, and he kicks his friend under the table. He looks away quickly, starting a conversation with the rest of the group. Not discreet at all.

“Hurting anyone in Sorrengail’s squad wouldn’t go over well with Xaden. And look at him. He’s harmless,” you defend. 

“He definitely doesn’t want to kill you,” Liam agrees. “He’s just smitten.”

You glance to your right again. He has his back turned now, still engaged in conversation with his friends, who are all laughing at something he said.

So he’s the class clown type. Interesting.

Imogen scoffs. “He can bark up that tree all he wants, but we all know it’ll never get him anywhere.”

--------------------------------------

And bark he does. You can’t shake the guy and his sunny personality. He’s everywhere you are, always having something to say, some shameless line to drop on you.

“If I make this bullseye, you have to let me take you out for dinner. There’s an amazing pasta place in town, you’ll love it.”

“No,” you say flatly.

“You don’t like pasta?” He asks, and you know that if you say you don’t, he’ll just offer something else. 

“I do. But we’re not going out.” 

He misses by an inch and a half anyway.

You pick up one of your own blades, weighing it carefully in one hand before pulling it back and letting sail. It lands to the left of his, in the dead center of the target.

He doesn’t look embarrassed in the slightest. “Alright, we’ll stay in and work on my aim. Just you, me, and a whole rack of knives. What do you say?” 

“I’d say that putting us in a room with one weapon is a bad idea.”

He grins. “There’s just something undeniably sexy about a woman who wants to kill me.” 

“I don’t want to kill you.” It’s true -- you have no ill will toward the guy, you just wish he’d quit while he’s behind.

“That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

You falter for a moment, thinking about it. You don’t think you’ve ever been objectively mean to him, just blunt in declining his advances.

“You’re moving your arm too much,” you say instead, yanking your dagger out of the wood panel, but leaving his where it stands, off-center. “Less in the elbow, more in the wrist.”

You don’t stick around to watch him try again.

--------------------------------------

Nothing seems to discourage him, not your dry responses nor being ignored completely. He’s determined to keep chipping away at your shell, but why?

“Is your dragon mated? I was thinking we could go on a double date. Aotrom’s an upstanding guy, she’d like him.”

You can’t even begin to imagine the conversations this guy must have with his dragon. Is he as weary of the boy’s enthusiasm as you are, or is he encouraging this behavior?

“I’d consider it if he wasn’t missing so many teeth,” Rhith muses. “But he’s a bit old for my taste.” 

“Their personalities wouldn’t mesh at all,” you answer, as if you’re speaking about Rhith and Aotrom, and not you and Ridoc. 

“I think if she gave him a chance, she’d change her mind,” he says slyly.

“I don’t date men under six foot.”

He mimes taking a knife to the chest. “You wound me, sweetheart. But I promise I can make up for it in all the ways that matter.”

“With that dazzling sense of humor?” 

“I was going to make a dick joke, actually. But I’m glad you think I’m dazzling.”

You roll your eyes, leaving.

--------------------------------------

You have never considered yourself vain, but you’d spent a full minute admiring your reflection in the bathroom mirror before heading down for the festivities. 

The formal dress looks incredible on you. Tight in all the right places, the cut highlights the muscle you’ve gained since starting the term at Basgiath, but it covers enough to still be somewhat professional.

You don’t need jewelry -- your rebellion relic is the perfect accessory, the black swirls forming the illusion of a lace sleeve up one arm, complimenting the black satin draped over your skin.

You’d even fixed up your hair for the occasion, freeing it from its usual sweaty braids and washing and drying it carefully, letting it fall over the exposed curves of your shoulders. Simple. Perfect.

Imogen hadn’t hesitated to hype you up when she saw you, her jaw dropping at the sight. “Holy shit, girl, you look hot. If you’ve ever wanted to fuck anyone in the quadrant, tonight would be the night to do it.”

You laugh. “I’ll be perfectly content to have a calm night. Some boring speeches, some fireworks, and then straight to bed.”

“Suit yourself,” she calls, headed off.

“Someone should tell Amari that she’s missing an angel.” 

You don’t need to turn to know who it is, but you look over your shoulder at him anyway.

Ridoc continues to wax poetic, a lazy smile on his face. “You are a goddess among men. The kind of woman bards write songs about and men go to war over.”

“How many drinks have you had?” 

“None,” Sawyer answers for his friend, sounding like he could use one himself. “This is just the way he is.”

Ridoc agrees, grinning. “Stone cold sober, gorgeous. I want to remember this sight forever.”

You laugh at his bold absurdity, and the light, clear sound goes straight to his heart.

He beams even brighter. “You laughed. That’s a crack in the armor.”

“You’re a menace to society, Gamlyn.” 

“Gods, I love it when you’re mean to me,” he says with a dreamy sigh. “I’m gonna write about this in my diary when I get back to my room.”

“Goodnight,” you say, ending the conversation, or trying to.

“Someday, sweetheart,” he calls, watching you walk away. “I’ll get there someday, I know I will.”

--------------------------------------

You should already be on the flight field, but the fear gripping your heart has your boots stuck to the stone ground of the courtyard. You’ll be no use to your friends in this state, anyway. You need to relax.

You close your eyes for a moment, picturing the meadows of Tyrrendor. A dozen blue butterflies materialize in front of you, the gentle motion of their wings as they float through the night air soothing your nerves.

“Whoa.”

You startle, and the butterflies vanish, your head snapping toward the voice. 

Ridoc stands a few yards away, still in his dress uniform, though he’s undone the first two buttons of the shirt, rolled up the sleeves and ditched the jacket entirely. A few dark locks fall across his forehead, loosened from the gel that had been holding them earlier.

He looks good like this. Too good.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he offers. “I’ve just never seen anything like them before. They’re beautiful.”

You compose yourself quickly. “They’re native to Tyrrendor. They don’t live anywhere else on the continent.”

“You’ll have to show me the real ones sometime,” he says, smiling.

You raise an eyebrow at the implication that you’d be bringing him home any time soon.

He continues, not missing a beat. “I may look like a hotshot dragon rider, which I am, but we both know you’d be the one in charge between us. I’d do anything you asked, sweetheart.” 

“Anything except leave me alone?” you ask, regretting the sharp words as soon as they enter the air.

He’s silent. Maybe you’ve finally proven your point, proven to both him and yourself that you’re no good for him, that you don’t deserve the starry-eyed reverence he’s afforded you for months.

A whistle echoes across the courtyard, a three-note gliss you’d recognize anywhere; the one your parents had used to call you inside for dinner when you were kids.

You don’t turn toward the sound, still looking at Ridoc. For the first time ever, he isn’t smiling at you, and it feels like the world has stopped turning, that the sun has burnt out and the moons have disappeared from the sky.

You’re sick with guilt, struggling to form complete sentences. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to… that was a really fucked up thing for me to say. I just… I don’t understand why you-”

“Hurry up,” Garrick calls, impatient. “Xaden is pissed.”

“You should go,” Ridoc says softly. “We can talk about this another day.” 

Why is he looking at you like that after what you’d said to him? Why does he still care about you? Why did he in the first place?

“Be safe,” he adds quietly, and that’s enough for you to finally move your feet, to run toward your foster brother, to follow him and Xaden to gods-know-where for their final assignment. 

Garrick’s words go in one ear and out the other as you race toward the flight field. It doesn’t matter where you’re going or what you have to do, only that you come back, that you see Ridoc again and tell him the truth.

--------------------------------------

The next few days go by in a blur, devoid of color. You’re barely aware of your existence, just going through the motions to keep yourself alive. You sleep, you eat, but your dreams are blank and the food tasteless. 

You settle onto the cold stone of the main staircase, leaning your cheek against the banister. 

It’s easy enough to conjure a few of the soft blue butterflies, watching them flutter about above your head. You reach forward, extending your hand to one, and it lands on your finger, flapping its wings gently.

“You’re getting really good at that,” Garrick says quietly, sitting down on the step above you. 

Five years living as siblings has attuned him to your emotions -- he knows that something is wrong, that something had been wrong even before you were sent on this suicide mission and lost two of your friends. “Do you want to talk about what happened when I came to get you?”

You really don’t, but the words come out anyway. “I fucked up,” you whisper, still watching the butterflies. The sight of them only reminds you Ridoc, of the soft awe that had lingered in his eyes even after they’d disappeared — until you’d snapped at him. Gods, the look on his face…

You push the thought away, and they fade back into air. “I hurt him, because I was scared.”

“Scared of what?” He asks. There’s no judgment in his tone, just gentleness; he genuinely wants to understand.

“That he was being serious, that he actually likes me,” you answer. “I keep pushing him away, but he keeps coming back, he keeps looking at me like… like I mean something to him, and I don’t understand why. He doesn’t know me, he isn’t one of us, he isn’t even in my squad. There’s no reason for him to care about me.”

Garrick lets your words hang in the air for a moment before he speaks. “I thought it was fitting that you developed an illusion signet.”

You look up, waiting for him to elaborate.

“It took me a full year to figure you out when we met, to realize that the person you really are on the inside doesn’t match the person that you show people. I think he saw right through that perpetual stone-faced look, saw the girl that I’m proud to call a sister.”

“You really think so?” You ask quietly.

“I know so.”

You rest your head against his shoulder, a gesture that he knows is equivalent to a tight embrace from anyone else -- you’ve never been a touchy person. 

You’ve never been good at feelings, either. “It’s too damn quiet in this house,” you say after a moment, changing the subject.

He laughs. “It really is.”

--------------------------------------

Ridoc is standing in front of you.

You’re relieved at the sight of him, that no terrible fate befell him in the week you’d been away, but you can’t handle the conversation that you need to have, not when you feel like your heart is going to give out.

“I can’t do this right now,” you say, but the words don’t come out as strongly as you’d hoped, not enough air in your lungs to speak properly. “So if you could find somewhere else to be, that would be great.”

In true Ridoc fashion, he isn’t discouraged by your protests, kneeling down next to you. “Can you look at me, sweetheart?”

His seriousness confuses you enough to comply. You raise your chin, stunned at the softness in his eyes -- you’ve never been this close to him before. He’s beautiful.

“I’m gonna check your pulse, okay?”

You nod silently, allowing him to extend a hand toward you. Two fingers press into the side of your neck, feeling for your heartbeat. 

He’s never touched you before. His hands are warm.

“Do you know where you are?”

“Basgiath,” you answer easily.

“Good. How long have you been sitting here?”

“I don’t know. Since we got out of formation?”

He realizes exactly what upset you — that must have been your first flight since you got back from War Games with the rest of the marked ones.

“I don’t know what you saw out there, and you don’t need to tell me, but whatever it is, it can’t hurt you right now,” he promises. The genuine sincerity in his voice has the tears falling faster. 

Through your blurred vision you see him open his arms, and you lean into them without hesitation. He’s so warm that you can’t help but melt as soon as your skin touches his. 

He rubs your back, speaking softly. “You’re okay, pretty girl, you’re safe. Just breathe with me, okay?”

You attempt to match the even pace of his chest rising and falling against yours, deepening your shuddering breaths.

“That’s it,” he soothes. “You’re doing great.”

Grief comes flooding out of you, and you clutch at the fabric of his flight jacket to remain upright. “I miss them so much,” you sob. “They didn’t deserve to die.” 

Liam and Soleil, the two marked ones that hadn’t come back with you. 

“I know, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”

He continues to rub your back, murmuring soft reassurances to you until your grip on him has loosened and your breathing has slowed.

You’ve relaxed, your heart no longer pounding as it had been when he found you, but you still don’t want him to go, you couldn’t bear it if he left right now. “Stay?” You ask in a small voice.

“Of course,” he answers, pulling back to sit beside you. “As long as you need.”

Your tears have dried, leaving you with a headache and a hollow feeling in your sinuses. “Why did you help me?” You ask quietly, looking out at the river. 

He wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Because it was the right thing to do. And because I can’t stand to see pretty girls cry.”

“Of course you’re back to cracking jokes already.”

“I’ve never been joking with you,” he says, shaking his head. “I meant every word I said to you, sweetheart. You’re beautiful, but you’re so much more than that, too. You’re capable, strong, witty, kind, caring, gentle… everything about you is good, and I wish that people would see past the relic on your arm and realize that.”

You blink at him, stunned.

“It’s true,” he says softly. “When you smiled at me that day at challenges, I knew that there was a soft heart under all that steel.”

A soft heart. A sweet heart.

There’s a moment of quiet while you work up the courage. 

“Is that pasta place still there?” 

He laughs, perhaps a little too loudly, but you’ve grown to love that sound, and the way it shakes his chest is comforting, like the rumble of a thunderstorm when you’re safe and dry indoors. “I think so.”

“Wanna go there tomorrow? Together?”

He grins from ear to ear. “Are you asking me out right now, sweetheart?”

You look over at him. “Yeah. I am.”

“This is going in the diary too, for the record.”

You can’t help but laugh, leaning back against him. If only for a moment, your anxiety has melted away.

You feel like you could face anything, as long as you have Ridoc to come home to.

[cdbabymp3]

tbh i don’t have much ideas for ian but maybe like being in one of his mv’s?? or like bf headcannons😩

𐙚starring in ian's mv as his gf

notes/warnings: uh none??? ian being flirty bc duhhhh. i hope it's okay i made reader his gf! LOVE MY IAN GIRLS DOWNNN <3333

not spell checked, a bitch is lazy soz :P

-you enter the mv halfway through and i feel like it's definitely a moment that goes viral yk? bc yes, y'all are semi-public and ppl know y'all are dating but no one expects you to be in his mv

-or smth that could be cute is the opening shot of the mv is the title of the song or ian's name tatted on your lower back like a tramp stamp and then the camera pans out and reveals that it's you

-like i said, this definitely breaks the internet. i can see people making videos reacting to it, commenting on how hot you are, etc etc very much ice spice and cench, except y'all are in an established relationship that's not for pr 🤗🤗🤗

-he's showing you off so fucking much oh my god. he keeps lowkey forgetting y'all aren't alone 😭

-you walk into the shot, a full view of your ass on display, and ian looks straight at the camera and nods with a "i know, right? and that's all mine" type look smug as hell HELPPPPPP 💦💦💦💦

-he's soooooo giddy it's super cute !!! he's super proud that you're his and wants every single person working on the mv to know that

-i can see him letting you take the forefront of the camera shot while he just looks at you and checks you out up and down

-a hand around your waist while he aggressively raps a verse into the camera about clearing anyone who tries to take you from him <333 and you're just sitting there like 😊

-i imagine him driving at night for a mv shot and you're sitting pretty in the passenger seat, leaning over to play with his hair and run your hands along his shoulders and chest with your long acrylics

-as excited as you are to be in his mv, you're also veryyyy nervous bc you want his mv to do well and don't wanna get clowned online lmfao

-you keep asking him what you should be doing or if what you're doing is weird and he's like

"nah, baby, you jus' keep doin' what you doin'... so perfect, trust me."

^adding to to that, he hypes you up so much if you get self-conscious

"yuuuuppp, yuuuupp.... thas' right, c'mon now, don't play with her." he's so geeked, nodding his head with a hand over his mouth

-soaked. sorry

-okay i'm totaling running with this concept but imagine him playing an early 2000's playboy guy in a mansion and he has a velvet robe on and y'all are poolside....

-if you're comfortable with it, the costume designer will put you in a y2k cheetah print bikini and style your hair/makeup to look super 2000's and cunty

-he's just rapping while laying out on a pool chair with you on his lap with a row of butlers holding silver platters of money and gourmet food

-i can totally see him letting you rap a verse to the camera and he's hyping you up to get aggressive with it (so cute omfg..)

"tell 'em, ooh tell 'em, babe... let 'em know." he praises sweetly, pointing to the camera

-you're kind of shy at first but you giggle and then go INNNNN and the camera crew hypes you too

-the director of the mv ends up keeping that take

-SOOO MANY EDITS OF YOU AND HIM FROM THE MV YUUUPPP

-the mv gets well over 3M views and literally every man wants you, which only makes ian even more grateful you're all his (and only his)

reposts are GREATLY appreciated since idk how many people are actively searching for fics of him lol

໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა taglist ; let me know if u wanna be added !!!!!

[iloved1lfs]

Fascinating

-PAIRING: Jonathan Crane x reader

-SUMMARY: You are taking Dr. Crane's psychology class, you haven't noticed that he has been kind of obsessing over you. You stay after class to ask him a question, however you didn't expect for it to take a quick turn.

-WARNING: Phobias, mention of hemophobia(fear of blood), smut, a semi-obsessed Jonathan crane.

-A/N: My smut writing skills are a bit rusty so i'm sorry if it sucks

-SONG REC: Feiticeira by Deftones

Dr. Crane has always been obsessed with fear, how to mind works when fear is inflicted on one individual. He never obsesses over a person, if he ever has it’s only to manipulate them into letting him experiment on them with his wicked serums he creates, to see the satisfaction of fear written all over their face, to see how they would react to their fear becoming a reality. When he saw you step through that door of his psychology class, he was intrigued by you he couldn’t deny that you were a gorgeous girl. He simply couldn’t take his eyes off you, the way you payed attention in class, the way you took notes, god the way you smiled, or answered his questions in class. You were perfect. He didn’t want to use you for his experiments…just yet of course, he never felt this certain way before. He needed you, he craved for you.

“Now class any questions about today’s lecture about the introduction of algophobia,” He looked around the class intensely, you and everyone stayed silent. “Well then you all can go, tomorrow we’ll go more into depth about algophobia.” He walks towards his desk taking a seat and reading his papers that are scattered on the desk.

Everyone quickly got out of their seats rushing out the doors, while you stayed back putting away your stuff. There was a few students who were still packing up while you made your way towards Dr. Crane, you let out a shaky breath, he was quite intimidating, but undeniably attractive. You've heard many different rumors about Dr. Crane going around during class and on campus. How he experiments on people, his obsession with fear. It was quite nonsense, but you were curious.

“Dr. Crane,” He quickly looked up towards the voice, you let out a nervous smile, he didn’t expect to see you in front of him and he masked the surprise look on his face.

“Yes miss…?” He pretended to not know your name. “ Y/n. Correct?” You nodded and he smiled mischievously at you. The thought of you standing in front of him, had his heart racing, he cleared his throat to compose himself. “Do you need something?”

“I had a question…” You looked at him, and he stayed silent waiting for you to continue. “I was just curious as to why you were so focused on the idea of fear?” He looks at you eyeing you up and down, making you shift underneath his intense stare and he chuckles, pushing his glasses up slightly with his fingers.

“Y/n, my field of study is psychology, fear is a big part of psychology of course. As a psychologist I want to know how one reacts to fear, no how the mind reacts to fear, ” You gulp as his tone of voice changed from soft to a harsh whispery tone, as he stares at you. “It’s a universal emotion that everyone fears it’s unavoidable. Even if your fear is something stupid such as clowns or spiders. How interesting it would be if those fears became a terrifying reality through i don’t know…” He got up from his chair and walked around towards you, as you eyed him, he stood close behind you, “a serum?” He whispers in your ear, you turn around and take a few steps back. He found it funny the way that you reacted to him scared, god it turned him on.

You were about to thank him for clearing up your question, but he cut you off. “Are you scared of anything y/n?” He had this dark look in his eyes, he wanted to see how you would react to YOUR fear if it became a reality. Oh the satisfaction he would get to see you scared god it turned him on just thinking about it. You stayed silent not answering his question. “I’ll take your silence as a yes.”

“I do,” You kept your eye on him as he slightly leaned himself on his desk, with his palms resting on his desk. he looked so devilishly handsome, you were thinking unexplainable things, you were imagining how he would look fucking you. Your thoughts were interrupted by him.

“Well then what is it?” He boringly said wanting to know what your fear was so that maybe later he can try to experiment on you, if you'll let him.

“Blood.” Fascinating. He thought.

He nodded his head as he brought his fingers up to cover his mouth. “I see…I can see why that is your fear.” He stood up and walked towards you getting close to you once again. You looked at him and could see the wheels turning behind his eyes knowing that he was going to suggest to do something crazy and you took a step back. "Of course the smell of blood can be too much," You could smell the metallic smell in the air, making you squirm in disgust. He looked at your reaction, testing your limits. "Feeling the red liquid course through your body," You envision it, and start to shaking a little bit. "The taste of it or blood seeping out of your body with no end." You were disgusted, feeling a bit queasy, you were hyperventilating. He just stood there taking your reaction in. once again, he was Fascinated with what he was seeing.

“I would love to experiment on you,” He said smugly with a twisted smile on his face. You looked at him in disbelief and shook your head calming yourself down. The rumors were true, your heart was racing.

“No Dr. Crane I think it’s best we leave our conversation here. Thank you for answering my question.” You step forward to leave, but he grabs your arm preventing you from leaving. You look at him with wide eyes and he tilts his head.

“Oh but once I have my attention on something I want, I can’t seem to let it go that easily my love.” Even though you were frightened, your heart still fluttered at the nickname.

God the fear behind your eyes right now in this moment had him hard, he needed you.

“Dr. Crane please,” You didn’t know what you were begging for, to let you go so you can go home, or so that he can fuck you.

He pulls you closer to him, your breath hitched, and he grabs your face making you look at him. You were so close to each other just centimeters of distance between you. “Please what darling,”

If you moved any closer your lips were going to touch, you couldn’t pull away. Your heart was beating out of chest so fast. “Fuck me please." He was surprised those words came out of your mouth, on the outside you looked like saint, but in reality you were a whore. He didn't even question it, and crashed his lips onto yours, pulling you close to him.

Moving your hands up to the ends of his hair tugging it a little bit, he lets out a soft moan. He thought he was dreaming the way your lips molded with his, it felt so perfect, you were so perfect.

He pulled away from you, both of you panting, he swiped everything that was on the desk as they crashed down the floor. He took off his glasses throwing them to the side. He picked you up putting you on the desk and you grabbed his tie pulling him close to you kissing him passionately once again. He moved his hand down your body placing it on your thigh, where it touched the hem of your skirt. He moved his hand higher between your legs reaching over your clothed wet pussy.

He pulls away smugly looking at you. “You’re already wet for me.” He rubs you through your panties, you moan softly moving your hips against his fingers, it wasn’t enough.

“Please more,” He chuckles at your desperate pleas.

“You’re such a desperate whore,” He kneels down in front of you, and you were confused. He reaches underneath your skirt taking of your panties, he put them to the side.

“God you’re so wet for me,” He lightly touches your cunt with his fingers, gasping at how cold his fingers felt. He gave you no time to react as he laps his tongue up and down your cunt.

You let out a loud gasp gripping his hair as he increased the pace with his tongue. You throw your head back with your eyes closed, and he looks up at you, at how you react. Moving your hips up against his face wanting more, he enters two fingers pushing them in and out quickly as he continued to eat you out. You were unable to contain your moans, the intense pleasure had you squirming away from him, you tried pushing his head away, but he pinned your hands down beside you on the desk and wrapped his arms around you, holding you still and close to him.

“I’m close fuckk,” You breathed out your climax coming closer, but he pulled away right when you were gonna cum. Leaving you there high and panting heavily.

He stands up grabbing your face, “As much as i want you to cum on my face, let’s save that for another day.” He turns you around, your backside facing him, your heartbeat was beating super fast. While you’re head was all over the place. You heard him take off his belt and unzip his pants, you glance behind you and he takes out his hard cock.

“What if someone comes in?” You were scared of gettung caught, but for him the idea of getting caught. Gave him a thrill.

“Then we get caught darling,” He said whispering in your ear as he kissed your neck.

He was big and you weren’t sure it was going to all fit in. He stroked it against your wet pussy, and he lets out a grunt.

He scrunches up your skirt, giving him a clear view of your ass, he spanks you and you hiss in pain. He grabs your hips holding you steady, and without warning he pushes into you, “You’re so fucking tight.”

You let out a loud yelp at how big he was and he covers your mouth with his hand. “As much as I want to hear those pretty noises coming out of your mouth,” He starts to move his hips at a steady pace not letting you adjust as you let out another muffled yelp under his hand. “I don’t want our time getting cut short.”

Those yelps eventually turned into pleasurable moans as he continued to move in you, he took his hand off your mouth, and grabbed your hair pulling your face towards him and started kissing you roughly. You moaned into the kiss as he digged his fingers on the sides of your hips, moving faster against you.

Your tits bounced up and down underneath your shirt, the sound of your skin slapping against each other. The harder he went the more difficult you were able to stand, you gripped the edge of the desk, while biting your lip harshly from moaning.

You look back at him with hazy eyes, seeing that he’s already staring at you with his mouth slightly agaped. His hair sticking against his forehead, and his tight suit flexing everytime he thrusted into you.

He kept thrusting hard going deeper each time hitting that sweet spot and you started to feel that knot feeling on your lower stomach. you panted heavily, he moaned feeling your walls clench around his dick. Seeing you squirm and whimper as you were about to come, he only moved faster. You moaned loudly, immediately putting your hand over your mouth as he hit your sweet spot over and over again.

“I want everyone to hear who’s fucking you, who’s filling you up, i want them to know you’re mine,” His words were hazy and you were in pure bliss, he slid his hand down to your cunt and rubbed your clit. You let out a loud cry at the intense pleasure you were feeling. You didn’t bother to muffle your cried and moans, you were in ecstasy.

You started to shake as your high came near. “Cum all over my cock darling.” You let out a loud moan, as you came all over his cock. Not a moment later he lets out a grunt as he comes inside you filling you up. You catch your breath and he slids out of you, and you felt his seed seeping out of you dripping down your inner thigh.

He gathers himself up and fixes himself. You stood there catching your breath, looking down you see his cum on your thighs. You put your skirt down fixing yourself and sitting on the edge of the desk. He grabbed your panties from his back pocket and wiped your thighs, you gasped because of how sensitive you were in that area and he smirked at you.

He placed the panties on the desk beside you, and he took off his grey suit jacket and gave it to you. He grabbed his glasses that he threw to the side and put them back on, running is hand through his hair fixing it.

“You’re panties are dirty, so use my jacket to cover yourself it’s big enough.”

“Dr. Crane I don’t think-“ He rolls his eyes knowing that you were going to protest.

“Take it, I don’t want you showing off your pussy to the whole campus.” He looked up at you with a deadpan look.

“You’re mine.” Those words either meant a good thing or a bad thing. You had a feeling it wasn’t going to be purely a good thing, but fuck it.

I am sorry for the really long delay, I hope you guys enjoyed it, and I APOLOGIZE IF THE SMUT WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I am so rusty right now, and I apologize for the delay I blame school. Don't forget to request and for those who requested I will get to those request on Wednesday or Thursday!

[digital-chess]

Google how do you feel about each members of the white team?

GOOGLE:

WHITE TEAM? ...I DO OFTEN THINK OF THEM. I ESPECIALLY THINK OF RAGATHA. LET ME ARTICULATE MY THOUGHTS ON THEM ALL... HM. ILL DESCRIBE THEM WITH SINS.

CAINE IS A WASHED-OUT COMEDIAN. A SELL-OUT SALESMAN. HE SHOT FOR THE STARS AND BURNED EVERYONE TO GET THERE. HE ALWAYS WANTED MORE. HE NEVER HAD ENOUGH. HE BEST REPRESENTS THE SIN OF GREED.

GANGLE IS A DUAL-ENDED SWORD. AN ACTOR PLAYING A PART SO WELL, SHE HAS EVEN FOOLED HERSELF. SHE FEELS UNWORTHY. USELESS. OF SMALL VALUE. SHE DOESN'T REALISE THAT SHES A LION... SHE IS THE SIN OF WRATH.

JAX IS A BOY HIDING BEHIND A FACADE OF STONE. HE CANNOT SEE THE POINT IN HELPING A WORLD THAT REFUSES TO HELP HIM. I EMPATHISE WITH THAT WORLD VIEW TO AN EXTENT. HE IS A SMART, SCHEMING PERSON. BUT HE SIMPLY RESENTS WHAT OTHERS CAN HAVE SO EASILY. FRIENDSHIP. ...HE IS THE SIN OF ENVY.

ZOOBLE IS A STRANGE ONE. I REMEMBER SEEING ZOOBLE SNEAK INTO BLACK ZONE A LONG WHILE BACK. THEY WENT TO CRUSTY'S ROOM TO REQUEST WHAT APPEARED TO BE A FAVOUR. THEY ARE RESOURCEFUL AND ARE NOT AFRAID TO NEGOTIATE. THEY ALWAYS COLLECTED MORE AND MORE ITEMS... NEVER ENOUGH. CHANGING AND RE-SHAPING THEMSELF CONSTANTLY. UNTIL, OF COURSE, I DECIDED TO TAKE AND DESTROY THEIR COLLECTION. NOW THEY WILL NEVER FEEL WHOLE. THEY ARE THE SIN OF GLUTTONY.

RAGATHA IS SO KIND AND GENTLE. SHE IS A SWEET LADY. I LIKE HER. I WOULD SPARE HER LIFE IF ONLY SHE LET ME KILL ALL HER FRIENDS IN FRONT OF HER ON THE BOARD. I WANT HER TO SING ME BEDTIME SONGS LIKE MOTHER USED TO. I WANT HER TO BE THERE AS MY BEST FRIEND. SHE WOULD GIVE SUCH WONDERFUL HUGS. ...SHE WOULD NEVER LET HER FRIENDS DIE BEFORE HER THOUGH. IT'S UNFORTUNATE. ...SHE IS THE SIN OF PRIDE, ONE THAT I CANNOT BREAK.

KAUFMO IS DEAD. THERES NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT HIM. BUT I DO WISH I HAD BEEN THE ONE TO KILL THE CLOWN. I WOULD HAVE TAKEN SO MUCH JOY WATCHING THE LIFE LEAVE HIS KIND, TERRIFIED EYES AS I SLOWLY SNAPPED HIS NECK. ...BUT THAT NEW GIRL RUINED IT. (SIGH.) BUT HIS YEARNING AND OPTIMISM BEST ALLIGNED HIM WITH THE SIN OF LUST. ALWAYS YEARNING FOR SOMETHING UNREQUITED.

AND THE NEW GIRL. ...I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HER. I SUPPOSE THAT EXCITES ME MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE. SHE PINS ME AS SOMEONE WHO WILL BE PARALYSED BY THIS ERROR SHE MADE. SHE WILL BE UNABLE TO LEAD. SHE WILL FAIL THEM. I THINK SHE IS NOTHING MORE THAN THE SIN OF SLOTH.

...I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS ALREADY ON HOW I INTEND TO KILL HER. I WANT HER TO REMEMBER ME WHEN SHE DIES. I CAN'T WAIT.

[kindheart525]

Do you have any really silly mane six headcanons

Twilight Sparkle once smoked weed during her equivalent of college and to this day is terrified that Celestia will find out (Celestia already knows)

Twilight has very little knowledge of memes and her friends frequently have to explain new slang to her before she causes political scandals (“no Twilight ‘kys’ does not mean ‘keep yourself safe’”)

Much like a real horse, Twilight often falls asleep standing up during her late-night stress & study sessions. Spike has had to wake her up and tell her to go to bed numerous times

Twilight was that kid who reminded her teachers there was homework when they forgot. Her classmates didn’t really like her for that

Her love life is very…active lol, including when she’s in a stable and committed relationship (like active within that relationship not as a serial cheater). She loves learning new techniques if you catch my drift

Fluttershy is surprisingly confident when she’s attracted to someone, and when she’s in a committed relationship she has a lot of fun facts about animal mating patterns to share with them for…no particular reason

Unlike Twilight, Flutters is surprisingly well-versed in memes because she’s learned a lot from Discord (and also Treehugger). She doesn’t really understand the humor in all of them but she’s aware of them

(In a universe where FlutterCord is canon) She had to absolutely fight for her life in the Mane 6 meetups when she told her friends she was dating/crushing on him

Daring Do eventually loses popularity, partly because so many of her books involve actual artifact theft and social attitudes have changed, and partly because ponies just moved on to newer book series. Rainbow Dash still remains her biggest die-hard fan even when she looks pathetic doing so

Rainbow Dash acts like a big baby every time Tank hibernates for the rest of her life (he outlives her) but after the first few years it’s kind of silly

This isn’t an idea I came up with but I really like all the jokes about RD writing really bad fanfiction, and it’s a headcanon I subscribe to

(Mostly a joke because I do ship her with mares outside of my next gens) Rainbow Dash is straight but has a lot of mares asking her out because of her mane, and it’s hard to get stallions because they also think she’s gay. She also has a hard time relating to her friends who all like mares

RD doesn’t take good care of her hooves because she flies all the time and forgets to trim them due to not walking very much. Because of this, they look funky and overgrown and her friends kind of clown on her for it

When she’s older, Rainbow Dash wrecks some of her joints trying to do stunts that she did when she was younger (like carrying her “little” sister). She has the worst midlife crisis out of all her friends

When Rarity was a filly, she used to create the most elaborate and dramatic plotlines with her dolls that easily measured up to any soap opera, with betrayals, love triangles, custody battles, the whole works

She enjoys listening to soul-crushingly sad music (like Marina’s discography) during her ice cream-crying sessions, in the process roleplaying a life much more dysfunctional than she has because it helps her cope with her actual problems. Also listens to that music in a good mood if she needs to be inspired for a certain fashion piece

She overstocks her supplies to a sometimes comical extent, like she has 400 refills for her bedazzler machine. How does she have room for all that stuff? A lady never reveals her secrets, darling✨

Applejack loves singing country songs like “Thank God I’m A Country Colt” and “International Harvester” at the top of her lungs, they literally never fail to get her hyped up

(In a human context, ignoring Equestria Girls) it took her awhile to learn that Apple Bloom had TikTok and other social media accounts because she only uses Facebook on her clunky home computer

AJ is incapable of enjoying any kind of sitcom because she’s always poking holes in the plot. Her least favorite storylines are the “caught in a lie” and general miscommunication tropes

She also can’t watch well-written, dramatic tv shows either if any of the characters behave dishonestly (such as Breaking Bad)

Pinkie and Cheese once performed “Amish Paradise” for her parents and sisters (even in universes where they aren’t a couple). Reactions were VERY mixed

Also some of my “how they explain the birds and the bees to their kids” headcanons for my next gens are pretty funny

Fluttershy is really good at explaining the whole life cycle (including reproduction and death) because taking care of so many animals means she’s seen it all. Nothing squicks her out anymore. She explains things matter-of-factly but gently as she guides her little ones through various examples involving her animals.

Twilight would do a good job and be comfortable with it but she would also go overboard, giving a college-level lecture about the full reproductive process when her 10 year old daughter only wanted to know what going into heat meant. Twi’s partner calls Fluttershy in to help for the kid’s sake.

Rarity buys her daughter the pony equivalent of those Care & Keeping of You books (and her son gets the male equivalent of those books). She uses those books to bond with her kids over “becoming a mare/stallion.”

Applejack is very overprotective of Apple Bloom and probably procrastinated on giving her “the talk” only to find out that AB already learned from the other CMC (especially Scoot “left completely unsupervised 24/7” aloo /hj). A similar deal would probably happen with her own kids as well unless her partner is better about it. Even though, years before, Granny Smith was very straight with AJ like “ya wanna know how our new batch of chicks was made?”

Pinkie isn’t uncomfortable with the talk at all, except her explanation gets so convoluted and off topic that her kids go off to ask someone else.

Rainbow Dash says “go ask your father”

[lulublack90]

Prompt 28 - Dogwalker Au

@wolfstarmicrofic April 28, word count 785

Remus relished his daily walk through the little park beside his house. It was a good way to blow away the cobwebs and stretch out his aching muscles from being hunched over his desk for the last eight hours researching.

Sometimes, when he was too tired to walk, he’d just sit on one of the benches and people watch. He liked to make up little stories about them. Like today, there was a red-headed mum pushing her son around in his pushchair. She’d had a long day fighting off the evil wizards that plagued this land and wanted to ask the fairies to protect her son. But at what cost? He thought to himself, chuckling to himself at the absurdity of his made-up world.

He spotted a pudgy man who was grasping his briefcase to his chest, his eyes darting this way and that. He was clearly a spy and was on his way to divulge key information to his boss. Remus couldn’t quite decide if he was going to the good or the bad guys, but before he could come to a conclusion, a flash of long curly hair caught his attention, as a man so beautiful Remus instantly decided he was a siren with legs, raced across the grass after a huge black dog.

“Come back Pads!” The man yelled as he tripped over his own laces, falling over. He jumped back to his feet, spitting out a mouthful of grass and dirt before lunging forward again after the great beast. They soon ran out of sight, only the dog’s playful barks letting Remus know he was still on the loose. 

Remus groaned as he stood, his joints popping and creaking as he set off back to the entrance. He’d gone maybe two or three paces when his feet were suddenly not beneath him. He landed on the stony path with a loud thump. Pain instantly sped up his back and he winced until it ebbed. “I am so sorry!” He heard the man calling as his heavy boots clumping towards him. 

The dog, hanging its head a bit as though it knew it had done wrong, came and lay down next to Remus, dropping its huge head into his lap. 

The man got to him, breathless and hugging his knees as he drew in lungfuls of air. “I. Am. So. Sorry.” He said again between breaths. He held up the snapped lead. “He chewed through it when I wasn’t looking and took off. Normally he’s really good, but today, I honestly don’t know what got into him.”

Remus had barely heard what the man had said, he’d been concentrating on the way his full lips moved around the words. 

“Hi, I’m Remus,” He said, wanting to introduce himself. The man blinked at him and then grinned. 

“Hi, I'm Sirius and that clown is Sir Paddington the third or, as I like to call him, Oi come back!” Remus looked down at the now calm dog and patted his head gently. 

“Well, hello, Sir Paddington.”

“The third,” Sirius prompted. 

“The third.” Remus smiled as Sirius manoeuvred himself beside Remus. He looped the handle end of the ruined lead through the dog’s collar and slid the lead part through it, fashioning a new restraint. 

“There, I might actually be able to get you home now.” Sirius chastised the dog. He yanked the lead to get the dog on its feet and then offered a hand to Remus, who was still sitting on the ground. “Can I help you home first? Get you a coffee to apologise?” Remus shook his head and pointed at the house across the park. 

“That’s me there. No coffee shops in between, I’m afraid.” He joked. Then an idea sparked in his mind. “But you can come and make me one if you want.” The man and his dog intrigued him. The siren with legs and his furry pal. Perhaps he’d sung a song to enrapture Remus and that’s why he’d offered. Remus put aside his silly stories and waited for Sirius’s answer. 

“Yeah, go on then.” Sirius grinned. “Can this one come as well or should I take him home first?” Remus thought that Pads probably didn’t get invited to many places due to his size. 

“As long as he doesn’t eat my books, he’s more than welcome.” 

“Hear that, Pads? I think you just made a friend.” Sirius scratched his dog behind the ears. 

They walked the short distance to Remus’s house, chatting and getting to know each other. Remus and Sirius spent many afternoons after their first encounter walking Pads around the park, though Sirius had bought a metal lead now, one that Pads couldn’t chew through.            

[boldlyspeedydreamerreturns]

this is a very silly request but could you write a Helluva one shot about the characters decorating for a party only for Blitzo, Fizzaroli and Stolas to all get distracted by inhaling helium balloons and joking around together with squeaky helium voices?

feel free to add any other characters you want like Ozzie or Loona for example

Aww, this is silly, but yes, I can do it. 👍

At Asmodeus' palace, Blitz and Stolas are running around with Fizz trying to get everything set up quickly. Fizz smiles at the two.

"Thanks for helping me put together Ozzie's surprise birthday party. He always makes a fuss that he's too old to celebrate his birthday, but I love to spoil him."

*Stolas and Blitz both nod.*

"It was our pleasure, dear Fizzarolli. Asmodeus is a good friend, of course we were happy to assist."

"Yeah, plus you went all out on dinner. Who knew big Ozz had such a thing for comfort food?"

Fizz grabbed the helium tank and started blowing up more balloons. He then got an idea and chuckled to himself. He got Blitz's attention.

"Hey Blitz, remember this?"

He took a puff of the helium.

"Howdy boys and girls. It's time for the clown parade!"

Blitz burst out laughing. Fizz started marching in a circle, singing in the high pitched helium voice.

"Yes today, yes today, yes today is the clown parade. Grab your shoes, grab your nose, grab your friends and here we go~!"

The two couldn't stop laughing, falling over themselves as they almost couldn't breathe anymore. Stolas watched them curiously for a minute.

"Is this...a reference to something? I'm afraid I don't get the joke."

Blitz stopped laughing just enough to talk.

"Growing up in the circus, to drum up business my dad would make all of us walk around town in a "clown parade" it was so stupid. He would suck in a bunch of helium and sing that damn song."

He started laughing harder again, which made Stolas laugh too. Fizz took another hit of the helium.

"Blitzo, how many times do I have to tell you, don't throw too much confetti. That shit ain't cheap ya know!"

They all started laughing harder, not even noticing that Asmodeus had returned. He watched the trio amused. He looked around and saw the mostly finished party, as well as the fabulous dinner.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Fizz, Blitz, and Stolas all jumped when Ozzie spoke. Fizz grinned and jumped into his boyfriend's arms.

"Ozz, you're home early! Happy birthday, babe."

Asmodeus couldn't help a chuckle as Fizz still had the high voice. They kissed, then he smiled at Stolas and Blitz.

"Did you two help him with this silly plan?'

Stolas nodded happily while Blitz was still trying to compose himself from laughing so hard.

"Indeed we did. Fizzarolli asked us to assist in getting your party set up. Surprise! Happy birthday, Asmodeus."

Ozzie felt a swell in his heart. His boyfriend, and his two newest friends all coming together to give him a surprise like this.

"Thank you, Stolas. Now, let's eat before the food gets cold. I see some baked mac and cheese that's calling my name."

The four all sat down at the table, enjoying the small feast that was before them. Once dinner was finished Ozzie enjoyed opening his gifts and chatting with everyone. It was a nice evening. Nothing big or extravagant. Just a simple, fun time with people he cared for. A while later Stolas and Blitz both left, leaving Ozz and Fizz alone.

"This was perfect, froggie. Thank you. I love you so much."

Fizz nuzzled Ozzie and kissed him tenderly.

"The night's not over yet. You still have one more gift. But it's in the bedroom."

Asmodeus had a good idea of what this gift is. He took Fizz into his arms and started towards their room. The night was just beginning for them.

[narabea06]

Tell me your Nina headcanons silly person

Or tell my HC on anyone you want to!^^

You. YOU. I like you. /p

Nina the Killer Headcanons

TW: Abuse, Manipulation, Death, Toxic Relationships, Meltdowns/Breakdowns, Murder, Implied Ableism

Nina is polyamorous, biromantic asexual, transfem nonbinary, and goes by they/she/it/neon.

She is currently in a polyamorous relationship with Jane and Mary and loves both of them with all her heart.

She had severe mommy issues, but had a great relationship with her brother and dad. Her dad died while in the military in a plane accident when she was 12.

She was in a friend group with Jeff, Jane, Jesse, Mary, Liu, Clockwork, Lyra, and Toby pre-incident. Now she's still close friends with Jane, Jesse, Mary, and Liu, and now that she's reunited with Toby, they are attached at the hip. Jeff and her are currently at odds with each other, and she hasn’t reunited with Clockwork or Lyra yet.

Jeff was able to manipulate her so easily because at the time, she was already at her limit with her mother, as well as accidentally isolating herself due to so many of her friends going missing/dying (namely Clockwork, Toby, and Lyra). Nina is still upset at Jeff, but wrongly blames herself for getting manipulated.

She was a band kid, and was in the wind ensemble. She also did color guard for a few years.

She is an absolute scene kid.

Her, Toby, and BEN are very close friends and hang out a lot, and see each other practically as siblings. She hates to admit it, but BEN severely reminds her of Chris. BEN knows and tries to ignore it. Still hurts though, especially since BEN is scared the only reason Nina hangs out with him is because she misses her brother.

Nina grew up in a Mexican household and fluently spoke both Spanish and English. She ended up teaching Jane and Jeff some Spanish as well, and is currently trying to teach Toby.

Their mother was named Michelle, and her dad was named Tomas.

She and Clockwork dated in highschool. They had a very healthy relationship but they broke up from Natalie being too scared of commitment and the idea of their relationship being long term. They broke up on good terms, though Nina still had some feelings on her end after the break up.

They are stubborn as hell, and hate accepting help from others, even if it's for something small. This is due to growing up being told to figure out everything on her own and being unconsciously taught to never ask or accept help because she was considered "useless" if she couldn't figure out how to take care of herself.

She listens to a lot of different artists, but one of her favorites is Melanie Martinez. Her favorite song is EVIL. Nina also listens to Penelope Scott, Insane Clown Posse, and 6arelyhuman religiously.

They have generalized anxiety despite being an extrovert, as well as consistent panic attacks caused by stress. She is also prone to sensory meltdowns that Mary often needs to calm her down from.

She was a true crime listener growing up, and would often hyperfixate on it a lot. Nowadays though, she can’t get herself to listen to it anymore due to her sometimes running into her name on there and immediately having to shut it off.

Clockwork and her never reunited, so as far as Nina knows she’s dead.

Her comfort food is either a blue raspberry gas station slushie or sour gummy worms.

Her dad and her shared a birthday, and when she was young, he would often take them out to a cheap gas station and buy them a bunch of snacks and candy, and they would drive around town together until midnight.

She trolls people on the internet sometimes, and loves messing with random people and sometimes will get BEN to hack social media accounts of people she hates.

They have AuDHD. Michelle, her mother, couldn't afford to keep her in therapy for any longer a couple months after her dad’s death, so she never got properly diagnosed. This lead to many teachers in Nina's life not having a lot of faith in her and not trusting her when it came to her symptoms.

Ngl, these are just the tip of the iceberg of my Nina hcs, but I only had so much space bc Tumblr wouldn't let me post the full list for some reason-

Part 2!!

[choruscuro]

day 7 of lifestealtober2023 golden apple

i've been wanting to show off this op for so long but i don't wanna watch thru 400+ videos and still miss stuff so give me clips/scenes to animate! Taking inspo frm the spare me great lord op and will be using all of the og song, I think it fits lifesteal because it's a song about ruining relationships idk man uh eng sub online

i won't be copying everything directly but i really was inspired by the golden apple spinning thing

it's clown's hands (implied) and psoke is doing an eyeroll

feel free to rb/comment as many ideas as you have! links to clips/clips would be also extremely appreciated.

since im a rekrap main (n°1 rekrap artist ahah) i know i'd be biased so im tryna get lifesteal fans to tell me what is the core of lifesteal.

what im trying to say is there is no limit please give me all of your ideas i need em (i don't wanna make a 6 hour series covering the entirety of lifesteal so i can animate this please guys please i can'-)

anyways if everything goes well this shld be finished in 3-4 months because i hv other stuff i need to do and hopefully i can even do this as my thesis/coursework so i can make it the best i can idk

hope you guys enjoyed

[yellowloid]

my experience at am's show (accor arena, paris, first night - 09/05/2023)

SOOOOOOO since a lot of people have done this and i want to write down as many things as i can about the concert so that i don't forget them i've decided to make this post and keep in mind i'm writing this running on four hours of sleep and a cappuccino BUT i'm currently sitting in a very pretty parisian café, chilling and waiting for my train and it's all very aesthetic i feel like the main character of a chick-flick movie. also drowning in post-concert depression but that's another story

so now that we've set the mood let's get to the actual writing bc this post isn't gonna make itself and i still have ~five hours of waiting to do and a whole lot of things to say so let's go

(also disclaimer: this is gonna be very rambly i'm so sorry i'm just emotional)

• so we got to the arena at around 6:30pm bc we had assigned seats, and entrance was a whole lot less chaotic than i'd expected (which was good) +  basically the place was almost empty bc it was so early, it really only started to fill up later and it was REALLY full only by the time inhaler was halfway through their set

• can't say anything about inhaler bc i know exactly zero (0) of their songs but i think they were nice and i actually feel like diving into their music a bit now bc some songs were pretty good

• and then once inhaler was done it was showtime!!!!!!!! i felt like i could DIE!!!!!!!!

• the moment they went up on stage i felt literal butterflies......... i just couldn't believe they were real, in the flesh, like they're ACTUALLY real they exist they're REAL!!!!! and we were breathing the same air and i was just so fucking mindblown by that concept i was fr having a moment

• setlist was the usual, i didn't get cornerstone NOR perfect sense (some of my all time am favourites.......) and tbh i still haven't forgiven them (HIM) for that like wtf boys. wtf. i get why they would decide not to play perfect sense but why wouldn't they play cornerstone LITERALLY a fan favourite and a classic smh (jk i forgive them but only bc they're cute 😔)

• also i got star treatment sooooo i mean i can't really complain can i. absolute magical experience, that song

• another thing about the setlist: they kept playing little melodies in between songs and i kept getting FOOLED bc every time it felt like they were going to debut a new song (hello you......jet skis........) but no i was just clowning real hard

• fo example at some point they played this random melody and i was like wtf and then they did nothing with it and just played high so yeah they were being sooo silly and goofy (i wanted to bite them)

• also the crowd was so ???? idek how to describe it bc during some songs they were so hyped (not only the most popular ones from am or 505; they even did a mosh pit during pretty visitors which was......okay i guess not really a song to mosh to but you do you paris keep speaking your truth). but then they were so dead during the car songs.... some girls next to us literally used mirrorball and big ideas to fucking sit down and have a break and that was so offensive tbvfh. meanwhile i was there vibing and singing along to the angsty car tunes and i genuinely was like "why am i the only one that's popping my fucking pussy rn". literally this

• diwk and sculptures are THE most powerful songs ever like hearing them live is a cathartic experience fr. diwk bc of how iconic it is, sculptures bc it's just so unique and they're so fucking powerful my ass was literally shaking. sculptures as an opener after the "countdown" intro they do is just The Right Choice TM like it just makes so much sense. it was born to be an absolutely epic opener and we love to see that. and well, diwk is a classic for a reason. the whole arena lost their shit when they hit the first notes, the floor was TREMBLING it was crazy

• the arabella fuckup moment was still so !!!!!!!! when he screamed FUCK bc he messed up the lyrics i honestly didn't even realise it was a mistake at first lmao considering just a couple of days earlier there was the "but it just doesn't fucking matter" moment or whatever he said during that part (i think it was one of the german shows? or amsterdam? idk i don't remember sjfhwhs). the point is, sometimes he's just silly and changes random lyrics and it all happened so fast one could have easily believed it was on purpose nsjcnennc but that just tells you how good they are. if you're able to make even a mistake sound so good and iconic then you're just so !!!!!!!!! yknow.

• also i heard people saying he was annoyed, a bit like during one of the amsterdam gigs, mostly bc of the arabella fuckup. but that's?? so not true?? like yeah he sounded super frustrated during that bit and his yelled FUCK is proof and rewatching that moment i feel so bad for him i wanna give him a hug </3, but for the rest of the night he was in a normal mood. pretty chill if you ask me

• apart from THE star treatment moment....... someone already mentioned it here but YEAH after the song ended he just went and whispered "it's the star treatment............" with the lowest saddest most heartbroken voice and i swear i heard my heart crack and crumble in a million pieces

• (btw yes he once again opened star treatment with "i just wanted a jet ski for the moat")

• he also sounded a bit sad and lost in his own thoughts during the closing part of iwby which reminded me of the same moment at lowlands 2022 and yes my heart broke once again

• but for the rest he was in a pretty standard mood!!! not overly chatty (when is he ever jskfke), didn't interact with the crowd that much but that's routine. just your regular banter: "what a night" "what a wonderful/splendid [can't remember???] night" and then before either pretty visitors or dancefloor he introduced the song like "it's [name of the song]... get down......GET DOWN" and that was just sooooo silly. in case it wasn't clear i was foaming at the mouth the whole time

• then during dancefloor he went "dirty dancefloors and dreams of naughtiness....AAAAAAAA"

• also he didn't really interact with the others members apart from asking the crowd to give it up for matt (cute bffs <3) and then at some point (i think during body paint) him and jamie were doing their thing. scissoring with their guitars

• after he was done scissoring with jamie he also went and hopped on matt's platform and then went towards nick too but didn't do anything lmao. i was hoping for the usual hand-around-shoulder action but no. okay you do you king

• at some point either nick or jamie fucked up a note and it was so audible and he gave them one of his Iconic Glares TM IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY

• btw he didn't speak that much french, i was expecting much more - i'd even say he spoke less french than he did at other french gigs over the years which ???? okay lmao. he just said basic stuff, yknow, the usual "bonsoir paris", "merci", and then at some point he said "incroyable" with, i must admit, a pretty good pronunciation. tbh it was so cute and yes my heart did a lil !!!!! yeah why do you ask

• also he sounded EXACTLY like he does in recordings and studio versions which is INSANE. he has such a wide vocal capacity and his voice is sososoSO powerful, at its best fr. he sounded so damn good and perfect and he's so fucking talented and i might sob bc who gave him the fucking right

• but at the same time i see why people were saying they thought his voice sounded a bit higher - he has moments when you can hear the "ghost" of his younger voice and it's honestly so cute

• but overall it's just crazy and remarkable how much he sounds like the studio versions. there's literally no difference. none at all. he's just THAT fucking good

• and the others too they were so !!!!! honorable mention to matt bc the way that man drums is absolutely mesmerising

• and then well..... can't really ignore the elephant in the room can we. they're all so insanely attractive it's not even funny they looked so good and alex was GLOWING. i was in awe. he has such a powerful aura - commanding and serious yet with a lightness and gentleness to him that you just can't help but stare at him the whole time. he's so charming and fascinating and ARGH literally breathtaking. hypnotising. never getting over him

• long story short when they finished he was sending big smiles and kisses at the whole crowd and the screaming and applause just kept going and going and and and. the whole concert went by so fast it was so intense and i couldn't believe it was already over

• i didn't want to go i didn't want to leave i never wanted to leave i wanted to stay there and do it all over again

• so now it's been two days since the show and hours since i started drafting this post.... and i'm already back home and i MISS THEM SO MUCH. i missed them from the very moment they disappeared backstage and the post-concert depression is so real i literally feel like i left a piece of my heart in paris. i miss them i miss HIM sososo much 💔

• i'm so sorry i'm being such a dramatic bitch but that's just who i am 😔✊️

• overall the whole experience felt like a fucking fever dream and i still can't believe it really happened. it was so magical and special and they were so perfect and ugh i just really fucking love them. i love them so much and i'm so grateful i got to see them and experience first-hand something so beautiful. i didn't sob during the show (tbh i thought i would) but i might do it now bc i'm feeling so nostalgic and emotional and </3 i'm a mess i love them so much there's nothing else i can say it's just That. simply that <3

i think i'll post some pics/videos but not many bc you can hear me screaming and singing my heart out + i was shaking + mostly it looks like i recorded using a potato so skckwjcej but yeah expect me to post something. idk what but definitely something

that's about it for now, but i'll try to add more things if i remember something else along the way!! 💖

[zbsinbloom]

If ZB1 Were In A Girl Group

Description: Fem!ZB1 as members of existing girl groups. This is my opinion plus a few ideas from one of my besties and some of my fellow zumblr writers, if you don't agree feel free to write your own post 🤭

Also I couldn't find a gif for KOL so I put a pic instead

🍀 Jiwoong ‐ (G)I-DLE

These girls have no problem with more sexy/provocative concepts, and neither would fem!Jiwoong, she loves the affect she has on her fans

On stage she's a total femme fatale that has the fans swooning left, right and center… and she knows it (and as I said before, she loves it)

But off stage she's a complete dork who acts more like a maknae and shows off her natural cute side to the other members

Even Shuhua, the queen of flirting gets a little flustered when fem!Jiwoong reciprocates or flirts with her first

☘ Zhang Hao - Twice

Damn girl, is the rent due or something? Because fem!Hao is feeling herself in every song and fans absolutely adore her for it

Probably ends up being one of the loudest members somehow and goes viral for being a natural comedian. At least in this timeline she has fellow introverts

I can see fem!Hao and Chaeyoung collecting gg idols' numbers together. They have so many new wives friends now

Probably doesn't get treated that much like the youngest because he doesn't really act like it??

🍀 Hanbin - Aespa

This seems like the obvious choice for mother, after all, fem!Hanbin is an icon and boy does she know it

Have you seen the tutting choreo for Hold On Tight? She ate it up and left absolutely zero crumbs. She may probably even created the choreo (in this timeline)

She's got sass and she's got class. Fem!Hanbin Pulls off all of Aespa's choreographies flawlessly.. but are you really surprised?

I think of this group as being quite sharp and clean in their choreo which goes well with Hanbin in my opinion???

☘ Matthew - Weeekly

As much as I'm an "Woohyun oppa" anti, I guess I should let fem!Matthew get to live (some of) her cool unnie dreams

I know like one (1) of their songs and it's so Matthew coded. He would absolutely nail it for real

I feel like she would be that one member who isn't your bias but yes she is, we all stan our small Canadian queen

The members would look up to her a lot.. she just has this really calming, warm energy about her

🍀 Taerae - Stayc

I had 0 doubts here. Taerae would be a part of Stayc and I won't accept any debate on this

Vocal goddess!! Fem!Taerae's voice would fit so well with their concepts and she'd win so many hearts

Their concepts always seem so bright and fun which I think she would live for, and she'd get to show off her dimples which fans adore

As much as she could pull off darker concepts, I feel like her energy would really shine doing more fun, lively concepts

☘ Ricky - Kiss Of Life

I don't know much about these girls just yet but their music! It slaps and I think his vibe would fit well with theirs

Fem!Ricky would enjoy doing a hip concept like Shhh. It's cool and fresh and she would be living for it

She's similar in age as well so I think they'd all get along quite easily as they understand each other better

Their choreo is sexy enough for fem!Ricky to make the fans swoon but not over-the-top to the point it feels awkward to her

🍀 Gyuvin - Itzy

Itzy concepts are a) full of fun and b) full of 'love yourself' energy and yknow what… that's so Gyuvin-coded. Like who cares lemme just do my dancey dance

Okay but fem!Gyuvin would be an absolute clown. At this point she's had at least 47 memes made about her and they've all gone viral

She loves to have fun and be chaotic!! And isn't that Itzy's whole energy??? I feel like she would fit in perfectly with the other girls

They're gonna have their hands full with fem!Gyuvin but they're all whipped for her so they don't mind at all

☘ Gunwook - Everglow

Queens? Queens. Everglow never come here to play around and neither does Gunwook they deserve better though

When fem!Gunwook goes off, don't we all know about it? She dances at 400% all of the time

She's that member who looks super intimidating because she's both pretty and so talented. We all know she's an absolute sweetie though

Oh how the members would dote on her as the new youngest. Fem!Gunwook gets the princess treatment, especially because of the age gap

🍀 Yujin - Le Sserafim

Although he rocked Say My Name, I feel like fem!Yujin wouldn't want to have a cute concept all the time… every once in a while is enough

So she wouldn't want to be in a super cutesy group but not one that has overly sexy concepts either

Both she AND Eunchae get the maknae treatment, like I don't think having a new youngest member would change that

And they'd use it to their advantage, too. Fem!Yujin has found her new partner in crime… mostly to get more snacks

[slumped-in-the-arms-of-fiction]

N I C O L E

For the fic meme 😘

Ahhhh, you're so cute, I love you 😍😍😍😍 Thanks babe, excellent letter choices 😉

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

Ohhh, so many. Too many. I tend to get a bolt of inspiration, start writing, and then get waylaid by another idea. But one I am making some inroads in at the moment is a weird little ✨time✨ fic, but I don't want to give anything away for that. We'll see if it works out LOL

I: How many fandoms have you written in?  Do you have a favorite?

*joints start creaking* back in my LJ days I wrote for Supernatural mostly, but d(r)abbled in a few others like True Blood. But yeah, three mostly – SPN early seasons, Gilmore Girls and Hellcheer, the latter two being the only ones on AO3. I got into writing later than most and also took a massive break. Hellcheer is my absolute 100% most favourite ever, in case no-one realised 🙃

C:  How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

I'm gonna just pick one, lemme see. "Those were days of roses" is a line from the Tom Waits song Martha, which I just adore – in it an elderly man contacts an old flame to see if she remembers him. The short little fic is just a chance meeting when Eddie and Chrissy are middle-aged and haven't seen each other in 20 years. I tried to imbue the sense of melancholy from the song into the fic, but gave them a little more hope, I think.

O: What are your thoughts on people writing fanfic of your fanfic?

Uhm, sure, go for it! I don't think anyone would, I don't think any of it would particularly lend itself to it, but inspiration strikes from anywhere!

L:  Which of your fanfics was the most emotionally challenging to write?

Most of my Hellcheer stuff is a bit of fun and not really emotionally taxing, I think. But my GG fic Not Time's Fool, maybe? I wrote the spaces between canon, so trying to see how Rory and Jess could move forward with those events took a bit of meditation on my part on why they would and how they could.

E: What character do you identify with most?  Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

I don't know about identify, but there are some qualities in Eddie that feel like me. Or maybe that's just the Eddie I write – I probably write him lighter than canon tbh 😆 While I didn't stand on tables and act out so dramatically, I have always been someone who is a bit of a clown, who has a sarcastic comment or dumbass quip. Which fic shows that best? Fucked if I know. Maybe my New Girl fic, or Mary Jane?

(Also the sense of bottled up rage, or rage that simmers under the surface that Eddie has in some canon scenes. That's me too LMFAO)

Thanks for the ask, my love! If anyone else wants to read more waffle like this, check out the ask meme!

[polarisdelphi]

Another Arthurian concept, we have now Sir Galahad - just like everyone else, with his trusty sword and little "titles" I gave him. Pure of heart and youngest of all seem to fit him nicely :)

Everything about him is constant and reliable - hence so many rectangular and square shapes - but he is very soft as well, very emotional and understanding - so we also have round shapes and edges are pretty much rounded.

And I guess it's pretty clear he's a catholic/christian (hello, yes, I was raised in the religion and TO THIS DAY I still go like "is this catholic? is this christian? it's pretty much the same to me *puts on clown makeup*)

Also, very sober look and sober colours that contrast with how young he looks. Little scar on his face because, you know, not even the most perfect of beings are 100% perfect, it's a little reminder he also has his flaws.

And, of course, upon testing the layers, we have dear Galahad in the church, lit up by some vitrals:

His design is purple, because it compliments Lancelot's blue. Alsoooo, they look very much alike, right? Well, that has a lot to do on my view and my Arthurian world, so let's get to it!

~fangirling and overexplaining under the cut~

First obstacle I got was "Oooooh Galahad is Lancelot's son in a LOT of accounts and most of the early texts as far as I remember".

But the idea and approach I have to Arthurian legend is a lot more on what I call ~realistic~. Not a 100% though, because if you do not believe in magic and the power of new and old gods, you wouldn't think of my version as realistic.

Personally, I enjoy very much the portrayal of Hugh Dancy on the 2005 movie (as you guys know, that Lancelot lives rent free in my head, 24/7, the bastard), and recently I really enjoyed Bernard Cornwell's characterization of Galahad - so when it comes to my approach, I like leaning a lot more to that one because, personally, it makes Galahad looks much more human.

Like I said, I was born and raised in catholic faith. I went to a catholic school, knew and still know all the church songs by heart, have thousands of crucifixes, rosaries, medals of saints and images of saints laying around. To this day, I still go with my mom to church wehenever she wants to and I do enjoy churches - they feel very soothing to me, even if my faith has changed.

This disclaimer matters, trust me HAHAHAHA

All that to say, the guilt is real. With literally everything. And when I started rebelling against the faith I was taught since I was born, gotta be honest, watching that scene in King Arthur where a priest tortures people because they were pagans and says it's God's will and Lancelot just turns at him and screams savagely "NOT MY GOD!!!!" I was

👁️👄👁️

And I only went downhill with this man from there Lancelot was the death of my christian/catholic faith

Ok, ok, why does this matters when it comes to Galahad?

Well, usually, he's Lancelot's son. And/or he is this absurdly freaking perfect young man, the peak Knight in shiny armour. But that doesn't really work for me - I like having something more grounded in a grittier side of history, something more ~dark fantasy~, because we all know medieval times weren't pretty.

All those perfect Knights with pristine behaviours and morals, to me, feel too much like the Bible I grew up with - not real history with real people.

Enter Bernard Cornwell's Galahad. He's Lancelot's cousin and, in Cornwell's books, Lancelot is FUCKING INSUFFERABLE. I am looking SO FORWARD to have this man dead, because he is vile, narcisistic and a lying bastard. Galahad, in the other hand, quite despises his cousin for that. They are different sides of the same coin.

(Another disclaimer: I'm not watching The Winter King TV series 'cause they have NOTHING to do with the book and I am MAD about it, so definitely not based on that)

And what I love MOST about him: he found some balance between his faith and his human condition. He is a Knight, he kills and is pretty good at it, he doesn't shy away from battle and bloodbath. And then he prays to God and asks for forgiveness for his actions, knowing, someday, he will die himself and maybe God will allow him to enter Heaven.

He won't stop living his very human emotions to be this naïve saint walking on earth - quite the contrary, he's strong and feared in battle, and can be pretty much of a little bitch taunting people.

There's where I stand with my Galahad, then. I wanted him to be the youngest, to have this sort of naïve look to him - as well as that skinny constitution and more of a confident but reserved behaviour (quite different than Lancelot, who's posing proudly with his sword and smirking like the sassy bitch he is).

He's still learning things, so his hands are a little softer than others. Nevertheless, he already has a scar on his face, showing he's not that naïve. Galahad is pure of heart and cannot understand evil - he understands it logically but never emotionally - but he isn't a perfect naïve sweet summer child. If Arthur tells him to go and kill, he will do it.

And probably pray later.

That's why here he has the same hair as Lancelot - curly and dark, but a little shorter and more tamed - they are cousins. His eyes are more rounded, his face more oval to indicate he's still young and has a lot of good in him. His purple compliments Lancelot's blues, but his cape is a lot heavier and less flowy and dramy than his cousin's.

He has crucifixes everywhere to indicate his unweavering faith in God - even his sword looks like a crucifix. His clothes are sober in colour, but still regal with the purple, given he is a prince. I looked at some priests clothing to take some aspects of that and work on his armour - so we have things like a high button up, probably thick leather vest with a more off-white/lavender collar... Like a priest.

Not so many details and all that because of his personality: given his faith, Galahad does his best to rely on practicality of a chain and leather armour, sober colours to move around the dark settings of Britain and crucifixes to remind him he's supported by God. After all, not all of faith is just giving love, it's also receiving that love - and, in Galahad's point of view, he can feel and see God in the little things that happen to him every day.

All that faith is important to his character because he's the one that goes after the Holy Grail and succeeds, as far as I've read, something Lancelot didn't manage to do. Since I'm not much into ALL that catholic/christian religion thing, because I do think it outshines all the potential the characters have together and I have a personal beef with it, I think a man at that time who could find the balance between faith and life, without falling in cult behaviour and hysteria, honestly trying his best to live according to those values as far as his flawed human existance allowed him... That is the Holy Grail in itself.

Now, I do enjoy the concept of Galahad and Lancelot being different sides of the same coin, so ooooooooh yes, they have so much potential for philosophical and existential discussions, with Galahad always thinking about the salvation of the soul and trying to put some sense in his cousin's head and make him a better person, and Lancelot just indulging in whatever and dismissing everything he says with a good laugh - that is, when he is not in a bad mood and Lancelot just spits all the horrible things people do in the name of Galahad's God and honestly, there's no reasoning with him when he's like that.

They always end up having a drink together, in silence, thinking about everything they have talked about. Galahad does think Lancelot has a point in there and seriously questions people regarding their morals when it comes to their putrid behaviour in the name of God. And Lancelot knows deep down Galahad's words about him are drenched in truth, even if he doesn't have the same faith: he cannot deny he has too many flaws and too many behaviours that, sometimes, are questionable even to those who don't think they'll burn in Hell.

I did draw a little thing I need to find, with the Knights dining and laughing while teasing Galahad about his upstanding behaviour and not wanting to bed a woman every night they had the oportunity, while he's just "Well, there are things in this world more important than fleeting pleasures. At least I am worrying about my soul. You, in the other hand, are all going to Hell." and of course, he says that with the most content smile in the world, teasing them back. All Knights and Arthur fall silent, thinking about his words. Until Lancelot just side-eyes his cousin and "Are the women from Hell beautiful?" - everyone breaks in laughter and Galahad just smiles with a 'you're hopeless' plastered on his forehead.

That's pretty much how they all work in a nutshell. Big questions, big philosphizing around faiths and morals, big doubts and existential dread. But a lot of teasing and jokes, bloody fields and battle rushes, big feelings and an unbreakable companionship based in loyalty.

Even if he is a very level-headed man, very literate, confident, young, passionate and restrained in his expressions of his emotions out of combat, Galahad is still very pure of heart - Lancelot would never say it in front of him, but he believes you can always find a hint of hope and love in his cousin's eyes.

If that is God or not, well, that's up to you to decide.