#not too happy with this storyline for obvious reasons

[fromxxthexxashes]

Okay, okay, OKAY. Other long post from Hailey, but who’s surprised?

My thoughts on 7x07:

First of all, I just want to say that I HATE cheating storylines. Always have, always will. I hated when Hen did it, I hated it when Buck did it, and I hate that Eddie is doing it. Cheating is wrong, and that’s that. However, human beings make mistakes all the time, and this doesn’t mean that Eddie is evil or bad. It makes him human. While the show has, admittedly, not done great when it comes to taking certain serious subject matter seriously (see: Dr. W*lls), however, when they’ve done these cheating storylines in the past, it has always been framed as a wrong decision. I’m guessing that’s what’s gonna happen with Eddie.

I’ve also heard the term OOC thrown around, and while I think this is unlike Eddie, in terms of his morality, I don’t think it’s out of character. This whole storyline is Eddie self-destructing. We’ve seen him do it before. The first time is when he got into fighting. He wasn’t a bad guy or a guy with anger issues, he was a man in pain, who didn’t know what to do with all that hurt - so he self-imploded. The second time, was when he had a breakdown. This was a lot more visceral. He had all these feelings and trauma bottled up, and he wasn’t dealing with it, and then it exploded. Then he took a baseball bat to his room - an extension of the self, one might say. And he did it, in part because of all the years of repressed trauma, but also because of all that guilt.

This cheating storyline is Eddie self-destructing. He’s in an unfulfilling relationship that he only got into because he felt he had to be with someone otherwise he was a failure for being alone. He also hasn’t dealt with his grief and trauma of Shannon's passing, clearly. And Trauma has a wicked way of making us do bad things. Along with that, he still idealizes his relationship with Shannon, even though there is a lot more bad than good. I think he is unhappy with certain things in his life, and he’s going about things the way he is, likely because he probably still feels guilty about his mistakes and how his marriage ended. For him, it’s easier to implode than it is to search deeper down and find the issues he’s not dealing with.

It’s not intentional behavior. He holds himself up to such a high standard, that anything he does feels like not enough, like he’s a failure. Because of that, he has a low opinion of himself, and, subconsciously, he wants to punish himself. His idealization of his marriage with Shannon doesn’t help with that, because he probably thinks the problems in their marriage rest on his shoulders - despite the fact that both parties contributed.

While the cheating might be self-sabotage, him picking a woman that looks like his dead wife and mother of his child, is obviously about his constant urge to fulfill this mother and wife role in Chris and his lives. He has a hard time believing he can be a good father alone, so he’s always searching for someone to complete that nuclear family image.

I think he also wants to try and recreate those good moments he had with Shannon with Kim, this doppelgänger woman. He’s put on these rose-colored glasses when it comes to his marriage with Shannon. He’s not fulfilled with Marisol, and he’s desperately trying to find that fulfillment. He wants that fulfillment to come from someone who fits those mother/wife roles that he feels is obligated to pursue, and who fits that role better than Shannon, his wife and mother of his child? Unfortunately, that’s not gonna work. One, because Kim is not Shannon. Two, Shannon and his relationship was a whole mess. Three, the way he’s going about pursuing this is gonna end up even messier.

So while I HATE that they’re doing a cheating storyline, this does mean there will be positive things for us, the audience, and for Eddie’s character development.

Eddiesol is BONES. Say bye-bye transphobic and homophobic actress. You will not be missed!!

Eddie will likely end the season single. There is no way Eddie is going to stay with Kim, because that would be way too traumatic for Eddie and Chris, not to mention no self-respecting women is going to stay with a man that pursued her only because she looked like his wife.

Buck is going to meet Kim, and Buck will find out that Eddie cheated, and will hopefully yell at him for dumb choices. Buck is speaking from experience, so I’m guessing he’ll have a lot to say. I feel like this could mirror their argument over Ana in s5.

Kenny described this arc as a “beautiful disaster” so Eddie will undoubtedly come out of this having learned some valuable lessons.

Eddie is finally going to process Shannon’s death.

Eddie is finally going to admit that his relationship with Shannon was far from perfect.

Eddie will FINALLY realize that he cannot replace Shanon. This will stop his cycle of dating women with the purpose of doing just that.

Hopefully, this will lead to Eddie realizing that he’s only ever dated women out of some kind of obligation, which could hopefully lead into a sexuality storyline sometime in the future.

So, despite the fact that I hate cheating storylines, I have faith that this will result in some positive change for Eddie. Cheating is wrong, but it’s not character death. Hen grew past her infidelity, and so did Buck. Every thing is going to blow up in Eddie’s face, and it will undoubtedly result in some deep self-reflection, hopefully some therapy, and some character growth.

[kikyoupdates]

Otherworldly Attraction ⭑˚🔮⭑ 𝑎 𝑠𝑢𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟

yandere!jjk x f!reader

yandere, reverse harem, isekai, jujutsu kaisen x fem!reader, slowburn, slowburn yandere

You don't know how or why, but you've been isekai'd into the world of Jujutsu Kaisen. Although your first instinct is to stay away from the plot, you've been blessed with an abnormal amount of cursed energy, and for better or worse, you find yourself sucked into the storyline. You decide that you may as well use your newfound powers for the greater good, and if you're lucky, you might succeed in rewriting some of the characters' fates. But it turns out that your presence in this world is an even bigger deal than you first thought, and soon, everyone wants to make you theirs.

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The door slides open to reveal two students, a girl and a boy, sitting around a table while they eat their lunches. Itadori steps inside, still grinning widely, and their heads turn at the sound of his voice.

“Hey, guys! I just dropped by for lunch, if that’s okay. Oh, and I brought a friend! This is [Name],” he happily introduces. 

You’re too stunned by the fact that he just referred to you as his friend to process much else, and by that point, the two students have already stood up. 

“It’s nice to meet you, [Name],” the girl greets with a smile. “I’m Sasaki, a second-year.” 

“And I’m Iguchi, also a second-year,” the boy chimes in. 

Needless to say, you already know who they are, too. Even though it was indirect on their part, they’re largely the reason why Itadori ends up at Jujutsu High, thanks to the fateful events of a certain night spent on school grounds. 

At this point in time, Itadori has yet to give them Sukuna’s finger. You’re not sure exactly when it’ll happen, but there will probably be some warning signs, like Fushiguro showing up on campus to look for it. 

Still, for obvious reasons, you feel like you shouldn’t get too involved with these two. The plot is going to proceed normally, as it should. You’re worried that something might go wrong with your interference. It’s probably best if you keep your distance, and—

“Would you like to join the Occult Research Club?!” 

“...” 

Yeah, you probably should’ve expected that. 

Itadori laughs. “Come on, guys. I didn’t bring her here to try and recruit her. I just wanted to introduce all three of you! I’m not sure if [Name]’s into that kind of stuff, anyways. It’s not really everyone’s thing.” 

“It’s true,” you nod. “I’m, uh, not that great with scary stuff…” 

“There’s nothing scary about the paranormal!” Sasaki insists. “It’s just interesting! Mysterious! Imagine what could be out there! Don’t you have a thirst for the unknown?” 

It’s precisely because I do know what’s out there that I’m scared…

“Sasaki, you’re coming on way too strong,” Iguchi chides. He turns to offer you a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. We just can’t help but get excited when new people show up to our club room, but we know this kind of thing can’t be forced. You two are more than welcome to stay here during lunch.”

To some extent, you can’t help but feel a bit bad, because you know how passionate they are, and soon, Itadori won’t be around to keep them company anymore. He has no choice but to go to Jujutsu High. It’s his fate as the protagonist of this world. 

You know you can’t possibly be a substitute for someone as irreplaceable as Itadori, but once all the craziness with Sukuna’s finger passes, you’d be happy to be their friend, if they’ll have you.

“Ooh, your lunch looks really good, [Name],” Itadori remarks once you sit down and unpack your bento box.

“Thanks,” you smile. “I’ve been cooking for a while. My mom cooks too, but I just got used to making food for myself. The process helps me take my mind off things. It’s kind of therapeutic, in a way.” 

Seeing as being sucked into a fictional world is kind of—or rather, really fucking insane, it’s safe to say that you cooked up a storm when you got home yesterday. You packed up most of the leftovers for lunch today, so the food didn’t go to waste, but still. You ended up emptying a good portion of the fridge.

Itadori takes a big bite out of his onigiri, but he keeps eyeing your lunch all the while, so you chuckle and push the bento box closer to him.

“Go ahead,” you encourage. “You can have some if you want.” 

“Can I really?” he blinks, a few pieces of rice stuck to his cheek. It’s kind of ridiculous how adorable this guy is. You have the sudden urge to pull him into your arms and give him a big squeeze, but mercifully, your intrusive thoughts don’t win. 

“Of course. I packed plenty, so I can afford to share.”

“Oh—wait, but earlier, I was saying that I’d be the one to treat you! I can’t just eat your lunch! I still owe you big-time for what I did to you!” 

Itadori firmly shakes his head in refusal, then crosses his arms and makes an attempt at what you can only assume is meant to be a stern expression. But again, he’s so ridiculously cute that it’s a bit hard to take him seriously. 

Sasaki arches a brow. “What did you do to her?” 

“I, uh, may have hit her in the face with a soccer ball,” Itadori replies, shamefully shrinking in on himself.

He is literally baby. 

“Why would you do that?” Iguchi gapes. “Come to think of it, her nose is a little bruised…” 

“It obviously wasn’t on purpose!” Itadori protests. He turns towards you with an imploring expression. “[Name], I promise it wasn’t on purpose. I swear I would never do something like that!” 

You chuckle softly. “I know you wouldn’t. You definitely don’t seem like that kind of guy.”

Itadori lets out a sigh of relief and resumes munching on his onigiri. Meanwhile, Sasaki stares at you from across the table. 

“So… [Name],” she says. “You’re a first-year like Itadori, I’m assuming?” 

“Yep.” 

“I’ve never really seen you around.” 

“I’m a new student. I only just transferred in.” 

She pauses for a few moments, and you can see her eyes glistening with excitement. “So, that must mean you haven’t joined any clubs yet, right?” 

“Sasaki, not this again,” Iguchi sighs. 

“I’m telling you! Not everyone is drawn to the occult right away. It takes trial and error to figure out if it’s something you’re actually interested in. I’m not saying she has to join our club or anything. But while she’s here, she should at least dip her toes in, right?” 

Before Iguchi can protest on your behalf again, Sasaki grabs a large board from one of the bookshelves and turns towards you with a mischievous grin. 

“...you’ve heard of Kokkuri, right?” 

After school, Itadori stops by your classroom. 

“Hey, [Name],” he beams. “Thanks for hanging out with all of us during lunch. It was a lot of fun. Hopefully that game of Kokkuri didn’t freak you out too much.”

“I had fun too,” you nod. Truthfully, you’ve never really been fazed by this kind of stuff. Horror movies and the like don’t often get much of a reaction out of you. You never bought into ghosts or vengeful spirits. Well, not in the real world at least.

Unfortunately, in this world, there’s plenty of freaky shit to go around. 

“It means a lot to those guys,” Itadori says, a tinge of sadness to his smile. “We’re the only people in the school that seem to have an interest in the occult. I signed up for it because I thought it’d be fun, but we just barely meet the three-member minimum. Thanks for going along with it to make them happy, even if it’s not really your kind of thing.” 

“There’s no need to thank me. I know I said I wasn’t crazy about scary stuff, but I actually ended up having a good time. I’m glad you invited me to hang out with you guys,” you smile. 

Itadori returns your smile with one of his own—seriously, he’s almost always smiling, but you certainly don’t mind—and before you realize it, a phone has been placed into your hand. 

You blink. “What’s this?” 

“My phone,” Itadori replies, still smiling.

“Um, I mean, I know that, but why’d you give it to me?” 

“So you can give me your number. That way it’ll be easier for us to stay in touch!” He pauses, just for a moment, to frown. “Oh, but I guess I should’ve asked if you were okay with it first. I got a little ahead of myself. Would it be cool if we exchanged numbers?” 

Abso-fucking-lutely! 

By some miracle, you manage to reign in your excitement, and instead of hardcore fangirling and squealing out at the top of your lungs, you just nod. 

“Sure thing,” you say, trying to play it cool. Still, despite your best efforts to act indifferent, your fingers are trembling as you pull out your own phone and refer to the number you have saved in a notes app (because you definitely haven’t memorized it within less than a day of being here). Once you’re finished inputting your number, you pass your phone over to Itadori so he can do the same.

And just like that, you have a new contact saved. Itadori Yuji. He even added a little smiley-face at the end of his name. God, he’s so fucking cute. 

“Sweet!” Itadori grins. “Thanks, [Name]. I’ll be sure to text you lots! Sorry I can’t really stick around much longer. I just wanted to stop by real quick before I left to go visit my gramps at the hospital.” 

Right. His grandfather. A point deep in your stomach throbs uncomfortably, and you’re hit by a sudden wave of guilt. It feels awful to know that his grandfather’s end is rapidly approaching. It feels awful to know that you can’t change it, or even warn him. All you can do is feign ignorance and hope that he enjoys these fleeting moments while they last. 

You muster up a smile. “I hope you have a nice day with your grandpa. Feel free to text me whenever.”

“Will do! See ya!” 

Itadori waves you off, every bit as cheerful as always. Yet another thing that causes you immense guilt is the knowledge that his happy days won’t last forever. Soon, he’ll be thrown into a dark, sinister world that teems with death. A world that, in your opinion, is far too harsh for such a gentle soul. 

Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do about that. Fate will run its course, and you must simply stand by and let it happen. 

Despite the nice day you had, your spirits are admittedly a bit low as you trudge home, having to consult Oogle Maps in order to find your way around. After being injured yesterday, the nurse called your parents to inform them of what had happened, and your mom came by to pick you up. This is technically your first time finding your way home by yourself. It’s not just a new school you need time getting used to, but a new home, a new city, a new world… all of it is bound to get a little overwhelming at times.

You wish you could say you’re completely aware of your surroundings, but that’s far from the truth. Every so often, you have to stop and squint towards the street signs to make sure you’re heading the right way. Jujutsu Kaisen is set in a fictional world, of course, but it’s a world modeled off the real world, and there’s plenty of similarities. This version of Japan is every bit as busy as the real one, for instance. Which is why you keep getting swept up in the crowds and losing your sense of direction.

Still, it’s not rocket science. You can mostly figure out where you’re going. Oogle Maps is idiot-proof, after all. Well, sort of. 

But the fact remains that you’ve never wandered these streets before, and naturally, you’re as disoriented as anyone would be in a foreign place. Hence why you don’t notice him until it’s late. 

A man with long, black hair, who’s staring right at you. 

You get jerked around by the crowd of people hurrying home during rush-hour, enough that you end up tripping onto the sidewalk and falling onto your knees. Your socks only reach up to your calves, so unfortunately, your knees get scraped open and start bleeding. 

Man. Only two days into this isekai thing, and you just can’t seem to stop getting hurt. 

“...are you alright?” 

Some guy is speaking to you. Presumably, one of the bystanders that saw you trip. Your cheeks flush, because falling in public is one of the most embarrassing things that can happen, but you instinctively reach out to grab his hand anyway. 

At the same time, your gaze pans upwards, and his eyes meet yours. 

Oh, balls. 

That’s the most appropriate response you can think of. After all, the man you’ve just had the misfortune of running into is hardly the type to be your friend. He’s not like Itadori. He’s not one of the good guys. 

He is Geto Suguru. Or rather, the curse user that’s pretending to be him. The real Geto is long dead. He was killed by his former best friend, Gojo. 

Those scars on his forehead tell you everything you need to know. The curse user’s name is Kenjaku, and he is merely using Geto’s body as a vessel. As things stand, you’re probably the only person who knows his true identity.

Regardless, the details don’t matter right now.

You’re just really fucking scared. 

Kenjaku pulls you to your feet, and unlike with Itadori, when you wished you could keep holding his hand forever, this time, you pull away viscerally fast, as if you’ve just been splashed with hot oil. 

Naturally, Kenjaku notices. 

“You didn’t answer my question, miss,” he chuckles, a cunning smile spreading across his lips. “I asked if you were alright. You took quite a tumble there. It must have hurt.” 

“I-I’m fine,” you reply, praying your fear isn’t absurdly obvious. You need to stay calm. There’s no reason why an ordinary person would be afraid of him, and if you let it show, he’ll know something’s up. 

“Your knees are bleeding,” Kenjaku points out. He leans closer to you, and you swear your heart nearly explodes. His dark, thin eyes are even more eerie from up close. “And you look like you just saw a ghost. I admit, I’m a bit worried.”

That’s bullshit if you’ve ever heard it, but nevertheless, you can’t allow your expression to crumble. There’s no reason for him to kill you out in public like this. Unlike cursed spirits, people can see him. He won’t risk drawing that kind of attention to himself. 

Probably. 

“I’m just… socially awkward,” you say, chuckling shyly for added effect. “And, uh, I’m not good at talking to handsome guys like you. I get nervous.” 

To be honest, what you just said isn’t even a total lie. Sadly. 

Kenjaku stares at you in silence for a few moments, then smiles yet again, his eyes crinkling at the corners. 

“I’m flattered by your words,” he muses. “Well, just be careful not to trip again. You got off with a small injury this time, but if you’re not careful, it could be a lot worse. And nobody likes to hurt, do they?” 

It’s hard to tell whether or not that was meant to be a thinly-veiled threat, but you have no intention of sticking around to find out. 

“Thank you for your help, mister. I appreciate it.” 

You hastily bow to him, then waste no time before speed-walking away. The further you get, the easier it is to breathe.

But since you’re too scared to look back over your shoulder, you don’t realize that Kenjaku is still staring at you with a contemplative look on his face. 

He hums to himself. “So much cursed energy. Is she a sorcerer? But something about her seems strange. I just can’t put my finger on it.” 

Well, no matter. He’ll leave you in peace for now. He can’t very well attack you in broad daylight, and he doesn’t even know if you pose a threat. There are far too many variables to consider. 

Besides, something tells him that this won’t be your last meeting. 

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[demodraws0606]

I'm kinda peeved off that I'm seeing a few people that have the critique that Siffrin didn't deserve their "happy ending" in the end, that he was forgiven too quickly. I'm bad about this for actually a number of reasons.

(Warning this will be long because I am irrationally passionate about this, totally not because I relate to Siffrin or anything ahahahahaha)

First, logically, Siffrin's actions definitely are not as awful as people make it out to be especially not in the context of a time loop story. The worst Siffrin has done was his actions in the Bad Touch achievement and the last loop, one being purely optional. Outside of that, any tampering Siffrin had done was purely harmless, sure it's existentially horrifying but it's not like he did any actual manipulation.

You could also argue since Siffrin was in control of the loop, they are responsible for everything that was happening but we know full well he wasn't in control literally, his emotions were in control of the loop. Considering, a whole thing in this story is how acting as though you're fine and trying to control your emotions don't work, I don't think we can make the argument Siffrin was really in control.

He only wanted to trap everyone in the timeloop when it already had destroyed his mind. I thought it was obvious it was a monkey's paws situation.

The last time loop was the breaking point of Siffrin and it's one of the things he does suffer consequences from, they do get mad at him and he does apologize. What else do you want him to do ?

The Bad Touch achievement is the only thing that could be said to be "unforgivable" but it's optional and as far as I know it's hinted that Siffrin would talk about it with Isabeau. In fact it's said that even though right now they're fine and okay, they literally say they are okay to be mad at Siffrin later.

And also, it's not taking into acount the Actual feelings of his family either. They can't remember the loops and they have their own reason to not still be mad with him, so why should they hold Siffrin accountable for feelings they don't have.

In fact, the storyline strikes the perfect balance to not have Siffrin do such horrible action that he'd actually be unforgivable but still have him do enough that it shows what the loops are doing to him but....

..it's not just logically, judging Siffrin's actions as bad/good things like that is not just what's wrong with the narrative that Siffrin should've suffered more consequences. It also goes against the narrative itself.

For me at least, ISAT is a game about mental illness but also recovery. It's not coincidental a lot of people project their own mental issues onto Siffrin, it's not just a "ahahaha they're so relatable !!", it's a genuine part of the story.

I could make an entire essay about it but that's not the point, what would a story about these themes be if the ending was just "you need to repent for the things you did during your own mental breakdown"

It may seem ridiculous after all this that they'd just forgive Siffrin after all of this, but really hasn't most of the points against Siffrin's morality been coming from Siffrin themselves.

Siffrin believed he deserved to be rejected, that he deserved the suffer, that he was disgusting. It was these belief that kept him from talking about the loop because for him, everything was his fault. Not just because he created the loop but because the desire of staying with them was the very sin he hated himself for since the beginning.

So for all that self hatred to be met with, strange acceptance. It almost seems ridiculous, and Siffrin's talk with Odile in the epilogue reinforces how almost comedic it is.

It's close to reality, isn't it ? How many times have you thought you did something completely unforgivable to someone you cared about and you were waiting for them to be furious at you, but that moment never came.

Because they just simply weren't hurt enough by what happened. And sure it was definitely a bad thing you did and they were maybe mad in the moment, but you apologized. Sure there could be more consequences for what you did but what's the point in asking for them to be more mad at you ?

Shouldn't you strive to be better than beg to be hurt for your actions ?

Do you think being hurt, being yelled at would make anything better other than just feed the voice in your head what it wants to hear ?

Weird flowery talk aside, it just doesn't fit the themes and the narrative of the story is what I'm saying. Asking for more punishement for Siffrin goes against what the story is about.

It's just like complaining that the looping mechanics are too frustrating, that's part of the package deal bb !!

Fuck the idea of "repenting by suffering through the consequences" !!! Having to deal with "blinding unrelenting forgiveness and kindness" is in !!!!

[hellspawnmotel]

i LOVE ur analyses (ur noelle + ralsei ones completely changed the way i view those characters) and if u ever started a yt channel for video essays i would BE THERE. ur art has a comforting quality that can be twisted into something disturbing/raw that i rlly like and admire. i wanna know more of ur thoughts on chara. i think they killed themselves bc of their dread of humanity + they thought what they were feeling (anger/vengence) was inherent to being a human and not a monster. thoughts?

thank you, that's very kind of you!! I don't think what I have to say would be very well suited for video essays though haha, it's just my personal readings of the text and I really don't want people to look at it and assume that I'm completely right, or even that I think I'm completely right. there are tropes and themes that I get particularly caught up in and I have my very obvious biases, plus when it comes to deltarune the story isn't even done yet..... I would hate for somebody to get totally invested in my interpretation and then get mad or disappointed if something that happens further in negates it. (that and my video making/editing skills begin and end with cutting together amvs)

as for chara..... (warning this is about to get heavy, maybe don't read if you're dealing with suicidal thoughts of your own)

.....always a complex question, especially when it comes to their death. I never really want to say anything definitive about them, because well, we don't actually know, do we? but this in particular...... with suicidal thoughts and ideation, you're always looking for a way to justify it. I don't think there was one specific reason chara went down that path, because there never really is. it starts with one thought, and then all the reasons you could possibly come up with start to clump together and form an unbearable weight. I think it's significant that chara came up with "the plan" after (accidentally or not) poisoning asgore. maybe it started with the guilt of hurting somebody they loved, which grew into the guilt of 'I'm such a burden to these wonderful people, they would be better off without me' which grew into the guilt of being human at all. but they still wanted to be useful to their family, leave them with a gift.... if their death can both free monsterkind AND destroy humanity, then really it would be worse of them to NOT die. that idea would stick in their brain and become a comfort to them- it's okay, because before too long, everyone I love with be safe and happy and I'll be dead, and I won't have to feel so awful every day. this is the only way to make up for all the time they wasted on caring for me. but then, of course, everything goes so extremely wrong..... I can't imagine the anguish chara would've felt in death, for not only failing but dooming asriel alongside them. they weren't thinking about the pain it would inflict on their family even if the plan had worked, or ever stop to consider that one day they might be able to feel better, and now they'll never get a chance to see it.

I think that also nicely leads in the main routes in undertale's storyline. in one, chara is a passenger on frisk and the player's journey, and they watch frisk inconvenience everyone they meet over and over but ultimately make their lives better just by being a friend and believing in love, which mirrors chara's own life and what they failed to see in it. in the other, chara is guided into dealing with their pain in a different way, by destroying it. the world is cruel, and unfair, and it hurts the good people while the bad flourish- better to do away with it entirely. if there's no life, then there's no suffering. if chara is all that exists, they become the nexus of pain. if they have to become a demon anyway, they can learn to love it. it's all humans are good for anyway. maybe this is easier than trying to fight it ever was.

but like, it's not, obviously. being a good person is hard sometimes, and it's even harder to be good to yourself. in the end though, if you give into hate and destruction, you'll be left with nothing but emptiness. whether through harming others or harming yourself..... either way you've closed yourself off from the world and your ability to experience the beauty of life, in all its faults.

okay I think I should stop there before I get too preachy or existential LMAO I hope that answered your question though! talking about chara is a dang rabbit hole. like, you're a creepypasta-ass character from a video game, why you making me think this deep. maybe if you werent so tragic and interesting I'd get less distracted, jerk.

🌻

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

I'm watching too much stuff. And things are not slowing down with all the things coming in September. So I'm gonna try and keep this short. As much as that's possible given the amount of shows.

QL - Currently Watching

🇹🇭 4 Minutes [6/8] - Finally some answers. I haven't read all the theories floating around about this last episode and what it means, but I'm firmly on the side of, there is another alternative timeline, probably from when Tyme is dying at the start of the show, and also very much in agreement with everything @lurkingshan wrote here that these are just imagined do-overs and nothing will actually change in the real world. Which would be my preferred way.

🇹🇭 Addicted Heroin [2/10] - Haven't watched this weeks episode yet. My review for the first two is here.

🇹🇼 First Note of Love [4/12] - I like them a lot. And I like the pacing of this. I love the intro song. But with a second couple being introduced I think I'm gonna get frustrated having to wait a week for a 20 minute episode. I felt that way a lot during Kiseki.

🇯🇵 I Hear the Sunspot [10/12] - I am annoyed.

🇹🇭 I Saw You In My Dream [7/12] - May the boyfriend era commence. I am enjoying this one. I'm guessing we still have a bit of angst coming and I'm hoping for a good explanation for the dreams.

🇯🇵 Mitsuya Sensei no Keikakutekina Ezuke [6/7] - Just such an incredible show. This week brought the pain and I'm still unwell. As if Frito getting sick wasn't heart breaking enough, that ending left me in tears. I cannot believe we only have one episode left. I am not ready to say goodbye to the three of them.

🇹🇭 Monster Next Door [6/12] - My favourite thing about this is definitely Big. His presence on screen is great. But I'm not fully connecting yet for some reason.

🇹🇭 Peaceful Property [1/10] - It's a lot of fun. Yeah, I know it's not a bl. But it's bl adjacent so it goes here. Also in my head it's gonna be a bl no matter what. Possibly even with a gl side couple. The mind is a powerful thing.

🇯🇵Sugar Dog Life [4/10] - I love Isumi. I really liked that they didn't drag the girl storyline and it served it's purpose. Isumi is now very much aware of it's feelings. I'm looking forward to the date episode.

🇯🇵 Takara No Vidro [9/11] - Takara, my love. This boy has my whole heart. I can't believe I'll have to say goodbye to then tomorrow. I'm bracing for part pain, part happy. Please Japan don't let me down.

🇹🇭 The Loyal Pin [1/16] - I'm waiting to binge.

🇹🇼 The On1y One [4/10] - This show will hurt and I will love every second of it. I really like the look of this show and how we get those little insights into Jiang at the end of the episode. The actors are doing great and I specially love Benjamin Tsang facial expressions. I'm curious to see these two together and how their dynamic will work considering their circumstances. Also, always happy to see the revolving door of cameos Taiwan always grace us with.

🇯🇵Twilight Out of Focus - It's so beautiful. I'm enjoying that we get different couples even if sometimes it feels like we could have more time with them. I like Rei/Shion a lot, but I do miss Mao and Hisashi. 🇹🇭 The Trainee [10/12] - Just to get it out if the way, the Bamhee/Judy storyline was definitely the right call and @lurkingshan was right all along. Also the way the office came together was delightful and it's great to see Pah getting everyone together and once again being the best friend ever. Now. THE OFFICE FLIRTING!!! I was losing my mind giggling like an idiot. I love them. It's pretty obvious at this point that it's mutual and of course Ryan will need to actually be told that, but I still think Jane will wait until the internship is over before confessing or starting anything official. I can't wait to watch all the interns reaction next week. I love it here.

QL - Finished

🇯🇵 Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko! - I'm disappointed in this one. It started off so strong but by the end it lost me. I love Hiroko but I feel like they betrayed the character. And that ending with the kiss in the office was ridiculous. Actually most of the end was weird in the way that it seemed to contradict what came before. I like that they finally got together but it didn't feel as good as it could've.

🇹🇭 Century of Love - Started of great and imo fell apart by the end. I don't think it was consistent all the way through and the mythology was all over the place. Daou did an amazing job though. Also Ju is one of the greatest female characters of the year.

🇯🇵 Cosmetic Playlover - Pretty show. Final thoughts here.

🇹🇭 Knock Knock, Boys! - Probably the biggest surprise of the year for me. It's great. I like the development of both couples. Even if near the end I got a tiny bit annoyed with Peak, I really liked the conclusion of it all. Latte is a great character and the very rare slut unjudged by the narrative.

🇹🇭🇨🇳 Meet You At the Blossom - Look it's great that we got a chinese bl, but this was not it for me. Let's hope this one helps get others made though.

🇹🇭Love Sea - It was fine. I enjoyed Mut but in general I just never connected to this show. And Muk annoyed me to no end. I was so happy to see Aya again and now I just wanna forget that she was ever in this and simply remember her as Yiwa.

🇹🇭 SunsetxVibes - I don't even have words. I don't know if it was my lack of attention or if it never actually made sense but I never really got what the mythology was all about apart from inspiring a truly horrendous looking necklace. I was slogging though this one and I guess the finale was fine.

🇹🇭 This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans - The sides were great, their chemistry was on point. I really wanna see them again. The mains were my favourite thing about Pit Babe but I just didn't like them here.

🇹🇭 The Rebound - I just have to accept that MeenPing will always have bad scripts. They are pretty together but this was a mess.

Dropped

🇹🇭My Love Mix-Up!

Rose Watches OJBL

Pornographer: Spring Life | Playback | Continued Spring Life Finally finished the novelist. Final thoughts.

A LOT of stuff coming this month so if you haven't checked it out, here is the post with all announced upcoming qls for September with a couple of updates that I made today.

As usual my ask box is open. Have a wonderful week💜

[nqueso-emergency]

From a writer’s perspective, I just don’t see Buddie happening for the same reason I don’t see Eddie finding a LI that lasts anytime soon. Let me know if you agree.

To me, if the whole main cast is already paired up, it can get boring for the GA. There are so many sls you can do with a couple, much less if you have a main cast made only of couples. Having Buddie would, also, change the 118’s dynamic in a way I don’t think would be good.

Up until now Buck was the one they could play as the attractive bachelor, but I think it got old and the GA wanted him to find happiness and a solid partner for once and finally. I haven’t seen that sentiment towards Eddie (so far). Therefore - find Buck his happiness (Tommy) and have Eddie take on the role of bachelor of the 118.

I’ve been thinking this since the end of the season, but marketing pushing RG has made me think I could be somewhat right

You are right but a little wrong.

With the way Eddie's storyline was left at the end of season 7, it is obvious that the last thing Eddie needs is another LI. He's got issues with his past he will need to address before they even think of giving him a new LI.

You are correct in saying that about the main pairings and the way Buddie would change the dynamics. There are real firefighters and regulation managers on set. Sure, they understand it's television and certain belief must be suspended. However, they are sticklers for the rules.

This could be countered with the Bobby/Athena relationship. Just keep in mind that Athena is a Sargent and Bobby is a Captain so disobeying orders wouldn't be met with as much force as it would for two basic firefighters under the same house.

If Eddie or Buck got hurt, the other one would not be able to take part in helping them. They would be pulled off shift and then the 118 would be down two men.

They would have to separate them and then people would bitch about that too.

They part you're wrong about is Buck being a bachelor is boring to the general audience.

Buck, constantly struggling in relationships, was becoming boring for Oliver. He was dying to have Buck experienced domestic scenes and allowing his character to grow through a mature relationship that wasn't one-sided, like in season 1.

Something I'd like everyone to understand and keep in mind is this:

Yes, this is a procedural on network television. You are not going to get six year slow burns or the characters suddenly saying "fuck it" to protocol. (A secret relationship would be grounds for termination.)

Saying that, Tim and the writers are really drawn to representing their general audience and so far, they have.

Hen and Karen: Hen pursuing college after 40. Karen being a genius yet down to earth person. Lesbians. Cheating. Struggling with having children. Foster system. Adoption.

Maddie and Chim: Domestic violence. Second chance. Chim not thinking he's enough in previous relationships. Medical emergencies. Pregnancy. Therapy. Post-partum depression. New mom fears. Marriage. Miscommunication.

Bobby and Athena: Divorce. Betrayal. Alcoholic. Traumatic pasts. Lost fiancé. Lost family. Accepting love again. Support. Found family. House fire. Co-parenting. Recovery.

Eddie: PTSD. Army medic. Parent to special needs child. Single father. Repressed grief. Straight man unable to connect with woman. Anger issues.

Buck: Abandonment issues. Needs companship. Looking for happiness. Jealousy. Young. Sex addict. Rule breaker. Realized he was bisexual at 32.

Tommy: Came out late in life. Mysterious. Kind. Sarcastic. Defense mechanisms. Was forced to play a part of something he hates for most of his life. Army pilot.

It's important that the audience can see themselves in the characters they love.

[ikkleosu]

Is Isabelle a "fix it fic" for Leah?

(Running back to my first love tumblr because I will not pay Elon to use more words)

So with the release of Isabelle's character bio, confirming Isabelle has romantic feelings for Daryl, it leads me to think more about what I've been suspecting for some time - that Isabelle's story was created to redo the Leah arc from s11, but this time do it right.

So, when we look at the Leah story from Find Me, it's very clear to most people that there was a story there that was meant to go someplace, relating to Carol and Daryl's relationship, that for whatever reason got canned.

There's the obvious parallels they drew with Carol and Leah (repeated dialogue etc), there's the knife that passed from Leah to Daryl to Carol and we were told was going to be significant - and was then never mentioned again. And of course, there's the fight at the end of Find Me that was never resolved on screen.

I think it's safe to say that was all leading somewhere, but because of COVID or the show being cancelled or Melissa leaving the spinoff, or some combination we don't know about - the conclusions from the Leah storyline were dropped, and it left a whole lot of unresolved stuff between Carol and Daryl.

We know Melissa and Norman have both talked about wanting the spin-off to delve into stuff from the main show that wasn't dealt with, and to give time to stuff they felt was rushed over. It's not much of a leap to assume the Leah story is one of those things, especially when we know form Angela Kang's own words that Norman was VERY MUCH not a fan of the Leah plot. So much so he asked for Daryl to kill her at the end of the Reaper arc.

So what if, the Leah storyline was intended to give us greater insight into the Caryl relationship, and specifically Daryl's feelings towards Carol? And Norman, along with the audience was frustrated that instead Leah just killed everything he's said about Daryl's attitude to love and sex, for absolutely no reason.

It's easy then to understand why Norman might want a redo of that chance to tell a similar story but with the resolution that was originally intended.

And so, we have Isabelle. Now, obviously, she's a very different character to Leah... but really, is she?

Both have fallen into a religious cult that helps them deal with their own trauma, and gives them a sense of family they were missing.

Both adopted their sister's child as their own (Leah lost hers, but Isabelle is drive by protecting hers)

Both manipulate Daryl and lie to him to keep him by their side.

Both, ultimately, ask Daryl to make a choice between going back to his family, or staying with them.

I think these similarities are deliberate. And I suspect there will be more similarities once we see season 2 - it looks as if they are both held captive by Genet, and may have similar through the wall conversations to Daryl and Leah when the Reapers held him captive.

So if we assume this is deliberate, we can also assume dialogue references are deliberate. Isabelle tells Daryl she doesn't need a hero - a line that goes back to Leah saying he always has to be the hero, and Carol saying she didn't need a hero during the fight in Find Me.

We also have the starts of the "making it right" dialogue when Isabelle asks Daryl if he could be happy there, and he says he doesn't know if this is where he should be - like Leah asking him where he belonged and he was unsure, but then said "I belong with you". This time, Daryl isn't going to ever say "I belong with you" to Isabelle, because as he said in Find Me he knows where he belongs.

Isabelle having feelings for Daryl is not for nothing. It will - if this speculation is correct - be a chance for things to be set right. If she has feelings she will somehow, at some point, express them. And that is where the storyline will "diverge" (see what I did there?) from the Leah storyline, and this time Daryl will be able to tell Isabelle "why not".

It will resolve the Connie question too, in that way, which was also never answered. Why don't you want to make a move on Connie? And why don't you respond to Isabelle's feelings?

Both are for the same reason, and it feels like this is the chance to finally say it.

I should add that

a) i suspect this will be cliffhanger throughout the season, and will play out like "Daryl's promise" from s1 where we won't know the answer, and it will all be opaque until episode 5 or 6

b) My understanding of the whys this might be happening, and why they gave Isabelle romantic feelings for Daryl, does not mean I like it or I would have chosen this route. I would not.

[urheartswells]

My favourite Osemanverse books in order from best to worst, and my reasonings:

- solitaire (if it wasnt obvious by now)

- radio silence (carys last...)

- i was born for this

- this winter

- loveless (i dont get the hype)

- nick and charlie

☆ im going to get hatecrimed for this but Nick and Charlie is mentioned in heartstopper and some scenes are in the series (obviously), hence why its so low on the list. like Loveless, i dont get the hype

☆ This Winter is 4th (possibly joint 3rd with IWBFS) bc of how Tori’s problems and worries are portrayed outside of Solitaire, and doesn't focus all on Charlie. Her own fears and upset are shown as the sister of someone who battles an eating disorder, not just on said someone. Yes, I like Charlie as a character but imo it's important to show the relatives' sides of things. Tori's own mental struggles are clear as day and only add to her character development AND Solitaire.

☆ Loveless is so far down mainly bc ive read it too much and ruined it for myself but it is a good book and plot. i just cannot read it myself much

☆ I Was Born For This is similar to Loveless in the way that ive read it so many times, but i can tolerate it more as i think it has more of a bearable storyline and characters (see Angel and Bliss for reference)

☆ Radio Silence and Solitaire are defo my top 2 because of how they fit together so well like jigsaw pieces. the way the characters from each book end up speaking to eachother is something i adore, plus the fact that Radio Silence is set after Solitaire (its mentioned that Higgs burned down, and Frances Janvier spoke to Becky Allen) makes me very happy. Character wise, Michael and Tori's relationship is something that i hope to have at some point in my life because its one pessimist and one optimist that are like black and orange cats. Alongside Becky and how Tori's friendship ultimately heals in the end despite Ben Hope. It's also the fact that Michael's there every time to help Tori, whether it's an argument or a nice talk (i believe the argument that Sprolden had on the cliff near the Dying Sun helped Tori develop as a person, even if the intention was supposed to be negative). It's like he's always her hero, trying to save her. See my other post for the theory related to this: Sprolden Theory

☆☆☆ ANY QUESTIONS, SEND THEM TO MY BLOG ASKS ☆☆☆

[mtkay13]

The peach blossoms are blooming

Lol @the fancy title, haha. Yesterday I promised "two hoboxu's today!" but I'm an inconsistant liar so the second is today and not yesterday, HAH.

Anyway, another painting of my very beloved; more about this piece below!

So aside of the obvious joke, what I really wanted to work on and represent on this picture is, as the title makes it clearer, grief, and what it looks like for ZZS.

The idea came from imagining ZZS setting off, happy with his disguise, and passing by a peach tree orchards and seeing all the peach blossoms blooming, and what it would entail.

...So let's talk about what TYK is about again, shall we?

(usual caveat: those are my thoughts and interpretations etc etc)

Little is known of the four years that separate the end of QY and the beginning of TYK. Even less is obviously stated when it comes to the reasons why ZZS has put in the nails, besides the obvious "requirement to leave Tian Chuang" part.

So, trying to leave all headcanons and other suppositions aside, and looking at what the text gives us, one of the main "storylines" of ZZS' personal journey across both books seems to be: dealing with the loss of LJX, first of their relationship, and later, of LJX entirely.

>I'm going to boldly announce that (I think) TYK is in great parts a story about getting over grief, or rather, properly living with grief.

Needless to say that it is clear that ZZS has a bunch of issues he's dealing with, including "the void after meeting your goals; what's next?" and some form of burnout from completely over-exerting himself and going way beyond what he thought he could sustain mentally; but also. Four years after he lost LJX, ZZS is still deeply grieving. Still seeing him in crowds, still thinking about him frequently, still hallucinating him, dreaming of him. He couldn't resist taking in ZCL because ZCL reminded him of LJX. Nearly every single thought of his own past ends up rooting back to LJX.

The first time he mentions LJX's name out loud in TYK, chapter 41, is the first time he mentions it at all in four years, and to quote the text:

Speaking out his name hadn't been that big of a deal, in the end; it had only felt like something had been pulled out of his chest—like he was now missing a piece, like it left behind an empty void.

(TYK ch41, TL by me)

The next scene is when it hits ZZS that he's going to die; from that moment on, ZZS starts feeling stupid, ZZS slowly starts wanting to find a solution, influenced by WKX... and the story culminates with ZZS making the opposite decision that he made in QY: instead of risking never seeing WKX alive again, and against WKX's decision, he goes to meet him, unlike LJX whom he was too scared to go meet, and lost forever without even saying goodbye.

>I think that ZZS essentially took the nails because he couldn't manage to live with that grief, basically. (I know, I KNOW there are other reasons, but for the sake of analyzing this theme, I find interesting to look at it from this angle; how the narrative shifts towards ZZS putting in the efforts to stay alive at the exact same times he starts letting go of LJX literally.) And then, as he learns, as he rediscovers life differently, the story becomes about getting free from the nails, about actially living with that grief rather than dying because of it.

*coughs* so, hum, yes. This is what I wanted to represent. What grief looks like, at this stage of melancholic, happy, self-deprecating acceptance of freedom through death—freedom of the burden of grief and guilt. It's a bittersweet feeling, but the way I see it, he smiles out of what he thinks is inner peace, resignation, and once again, self-deprecation.

I would go even deeper, in that ZZS' relationship to death with regards to LJX is quite complex and difficult, given how he was told by LJX himself that he ought to die for what he's done (or misunderstood LJX saying so), but that's a whole other can of worms and I don't have the brain juice to go there again (since it wouldn't even be the first time iirc). SO YEAH, again, grief, but ZZS style: turned into a bit of a melancholic, silly, but gentle joke, and with a smile on the face. On brand with TYK as well.

Cheers!

[pheavampire]

Epitaph for corrupted magistrate Astarion

The more I think about it, the more I’m disappointed with Astarion’s plot. Which kind of hurts a bit, because he was the first and main reason I was so hyped for this game.

I’m aware that this in unpopular opinion and everybody loves to help him with his trauma etc. Don’t get me wrong, this is one of the best narrative parts of the whole Baldur’s Gate 3 - if not the best. Well written, nice, interesting psychology and objectively very good.

But I really, really hoped for corrupted, disgraced nobleman who lost everything because his own greed and who now must deal with it - if you didn’t hear about it, this is what Larian’s CEO said 3 years ago about Astarion:

„A disgraced nobleman who used his position as a local magistrate to serve a vampire clan by feeding them prisoners, he was eventually too corrupt even for them and was effectively sent to serve as the personal slave of a powerful vampire.”

I wouldn’t even mind to be able to „fix him”, but I imagined it would be rather letting him understand what a hypocrite he is. I wanted to see a powerful, selfish person in the place of those who he harmed. A person who slowly realises he kind of deserved what he got.

I also wanted Cazador to be more interesting. Cruel, evil - sure, but not that one-dimentional and pathetic character who’s only function in the game is to be a punching bag the player can joyfully kill with nothing but pure satisfaction. I imagined he particularly enjoys tormenting Astarion, because he understands his ironic position. An abuser who abuses another abuser.

Just imagine you and your party breaks into his palace (or crypt) only to learn from Cazador, that Astarion isn’t only the victim. You’re angry, maybe a bit confused, but your vampire companion already changed, at least partially, and the choice to help him isn’t as obvious as it is now. I suspect it could look like this in the earlier phase of game development - lines like „So Cazador was around just when you were bleeding to death on the street? What a coincidence” or „Some Gurs attacked me because of my decree” strongly suggest some cut content the player was supposed to discover later.

My guess is Larian observed players’ reactions during early access and decided this approach is too risky and made Astarion much more sympathetic. It’s not controversial to feel sorry for the innocent victim and it’s not controversial to adore him, even as a fictional character. But giving to such a popular companion an evil past? That wouldn’t be a very popular decision.

Also, I bet they realised they overscoped some storylines and had to make them much shorter and less complicated. Quite typical for gamedev actually.

So yeah, I’m happy I finally have a tormented elven male vampire spawn I wanted for so long in a (kind of) mainstream story, I’m happy he is so popular. But at the same time… sigh.

[gdn7-dollopole]

I cannot stop thinking about the comparison between BBC Merlin and Smallville.

As the directors of BBC Merlin have said, an inspiration has been taken from the ten long seasons of Smallville, an US TV show I always loved, and literally grew up with, and since a few months back, I also made a re-watch of Smallville, I can’t stop thinking about the potential BBC Merlin could have had, if it actually followed some bits of the storyline of Smallville.

We can already see some of the similarities between the shows:

Merlin wears a red neckerchief with a blue tunic and viceversa, like Clark Kent, and whenever he’s hopeless or sad or angry, he wears worn out grey colours, and as an avid fan of Smallville, I can assure you that Clark Kent wears the same things;

Clark Kent has to hide his powers in a world that would hurt him, kill him, or experiment on him, if he let on his deepest secret, and for that, he not only loses the people he cares about the most, much like Merlin does, which are his father, his friends, his lovers, and almost even his mother, but forbids himself to fall in love, and therefore pursue any kind of relationship;

he’s witty, yes, like Merlin, but also shy and brave and lonely.

But the difference between Smallville and Merlin is that in Smallville, there is the closure I would have liked to see in Merlin:

Clark kent does hide his secrets, and he is good at it, until everyone else finds out about him, all on their own.

We’re talking about everyone (maybe because Clark/Merlin are not as sly as they think):

Lex and Lionel and Luthessa Luthor, Lana Leng, Chloe Sullivan, Pete Ross, Oliver Queen and so many others, either because they already had their suspicions or because someone else showed them.

And this brings the right amount of angst in the show, mixed with the betrayal and the lies and the secrets and the love triangles and the tropes that come out of them.

But where is Arthur in this picture?

Oh, this is the good bit.

For very obvious reasons, apart from the fact that he doesn’t talk as much as her, Arthur is definitely Lois Lane.

FROM THIS MOMENT ON, SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN’T WATCHED SMALLVILLE:

Lois Lane makes her appearance as a main character in the later seasons, after Clark understands that he has officially lost Lana, and starts working at the Daily Planet, in the same office as Lois.

But, unlike Arthur, Lois loves Superman (or The Blur, as he’s called for the entire ten seasons of Smallville, because he’s always caught on camera, but just as a blur). She talks to him in secret, and Clark masks his voice through the phone, he helps her and she helps him, he saves her innumerable times (does this remind you of anything?), and each time Lois compliments The Blur, Clark gets angry, because it’s his alter ego who gets the praise for a job well done, and not him, the clumsy idiot of the Daily Planet, much like everyone else in Merlin’s life has always got the credit for saving Arthur’s life, instead of him.

But what they should have given us in Merlin is what they gave us in Smallville, and it would have honestly made for the biggest magic reveal:

once Clark needs to fend off another enemy of the year, and thinks he’s going to officially die, he goes to say goodbye to his friends and his most loved ones, Lois included (“I’m happy to be your servant, until the day I die”).

Although, unlike in Merlin, where Arthur is a sweet himbo, who doesn’t inspect, and who doesn’t suspect anything, Lois had her suspicions, given that she and Clark had not only started falling in love, but now worked together too, and since she cared a whole lot about him, she follows Clark.

In the Smallville TV show, Lois hides behind a building from where, minutes later, Clark falls from. Lois believes he’s dead (Clark is immortal, and this begs the questions again: does he remind you of anyone?), and notices that he’s been stabbed in the chest with a blue crystal (context: the blue kryptonite removes Clark’s powers, and renders him human, and therefore mortal, unless the kryptonite, much like the green one, gets away from him). Following her guts, and sad and desperate that the man she loves the most might die, and believing in her suspicions and instinct, Lois pulls the crystal from Clark’s body, but the moment she hears some clutter, probably thinking they’re the enemies, she runs away, and goes back hiding.

And there, she sees him.

Clark grunts, gets up, completely safe ad healthy, sees that the crystal may have fallen by itself, or simply disappeared (and actually asks himself how that could have happened) and runs away:

by using his super fast power.

And Lois sees him.

Now, what could have been perfect was, if Arthur did the same.

After an attack gone wrong in the woods and losing sight of Merlin, he goes searching for the idiot, yelling something very along the lines of, “Where’s that useless buffoon?”, when he’s actually worried sick, and finds Merlin stabbed in the middle of a clearing.

Now, Arthur despises magic. He loathes it, he doesn’t trust it, yet, bless him, he still tries to understand it. This could have happened after Uther’s death, the moment Arthur’s reign begins.

He watches Merlin.

Arthur’s alone and shocked and scared and sick, so he drops to his knees next to him. He does not cry, he does not scream, he does not faint, that’s not really him at the end of the day, right? (Lois is the same. She grew up in a strict household with a strict solider father, and has lost her mother, and she had to be the parent to her older sister… Very, very much like Arthur). Or that’s what he thinks, and out of pure desperation, and something that sounds a bit like love, just like Lois Lane, since Merlin flinches, when he should be dead, for goodness’ sake, and out of instics and probably destiny, Arthur pulls whatever has stabbed Merlin out of his abdomen.

But as soon as he does, and as soon as he hears the knights coming close to him, and not to alarm anyone, and because he does not want them to see him in this sort of shocked state, Arthur hides behind a tree.

And there, he watches as Merlin, half dead and half alive, calls for Kilgharrah.

And Arthur has the same reaction of the finale.

He does not act on what he just discoveres.

At first, he’s sceptical, once Merlin comes back like he always does (and now he knows why and how), so he avoids him, he makes awful jokes, or hints about magic and about how powerful and dangerous it can be.

But once he’s sort of gone over this phase, noticing that Merlin hasn’t done anything with his big powers, like showing him off or anything of the likes (because Arthur has always known, magic or not, that Merlin would have never hurt him or Camelot), Arthur becomes… Curious.

And here comes the part that aligns with Smallville (we can also add the sexuality/gender identity/coming out metaphor):

much like in Smallville, and with magic and superpowers, and like in real life, someone does not force this information out of people, but Arthur, like Lois, is dying of curiosity, and just wants Merlin/Clark to trust him/her and tell him/her his secret, because he/she already knows of it.

So Arthur starts doing what Lois did.

The day after everything is well, and Lois now certainly knows about Clark’s superpowers, and the fact that he is The Blur, she goes to work, until Clark arrives too, and tells her that he must be quick for something, and needs some documents for a research. Lois stalls, and pretends she’s being SUDDENLY clumsy and a bit of an idiot (this would go perfectly well with Arthur, because he is an idiot, and he is also smitten with Merlin), and let her pen fall under the desk, to see what Clark would do.

And he uses his powers.

So imagine a wild Arthur in his natural habitat (his chambers), bored like no one else, and on the verge of imploding, because his manservant and best friend and love of his life he’s being stubborn and an oaf and an idiot and a toad.

He lets the apples or the sword or the belt fall under the table, pretends he’s keen to an act of kindness, and picks up the items himself, instead of letting Merlin do it, while he instructs said servant to do something else in the meantime.

Shocked at first, but following through with the orders, Merlin does as he’s being told, after throwing several sceptical looks at his prat of a king, and as soon as Arthur gets up from his crouched down position on the floor, the bed is already done, and the clothes are already folded, and Arthur goes mad, because, oh, he was right, and what else can Merlin do?

The curiosity gets him as much as his developing feelings for the cretin, with apparently super magical powers, who could also break a neck with a flick of his eyes, if he wanted to, and Arthur starts pretending to be even more of an idiot to see more magic, without Merlin knowing that he’s actually showing Arthur his abilities.

And the best part of it all?

The magic reveal.

I love Smallville, because the way Clark confesses his secret to Lois isn’t anything grand or majestic.

Yes, Clark does take Lois flying; yes, he also shags the living brains out of her, IN THEIR FARMS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE (I must do this again but, does this remind you of ANYONE/ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR?), but he’s just built and hot and intelligent, but also very, very shy and a bit silly.

That’s why I love Clark the most as the best version of Superman, and Merlin as the best version of the famous wizard.

So Clark calls Lois to meet him in one of the Daily Planets departments, where documents and papers are stashed and kept there, on the last floor of the building, and where no one ever goes, and he fidgets a bit with his fingers, and he stammers a lot, and Lois is about to lose it, because still, after all these years, and our love? And how can Clark not tell me? Does he not trust me? Does he not want me like I want him? And all these emotions are well encompassed on her face, because Clark fails to tell her, and he says that he’s sorry, he can’t lose her, he can’t take that risk, he has lost so many loved ones already, and what does Lois do?

She understands, because she loves Clark, and she does not want to force him.

She gulps her tears, she miles brokenly, she nods, she tells Clark that it’s fine, but when she’s about to turn on the elevator, Clark realises that the love of his life is about to slip away from his fingers, and just blurts his secret out like a bloody moron.

Much like Merlin would do.

“I’m The Blur.”, he says, and Lois smiles, she turns around, and she runs to him, and literally jumps him, until they both fall back together, and laugh and stutter out their words and yes… They end up snogging.

Now, I want you to imagine a wild Arthur standing on one of the towers or balconies in the Camelot castle, while Merlin is being the usual insecure, oblivious man Arthur’s known for over ten years, and he turns around at the confession, and he runs to Merlin, and he pulls him to him, and while in this version, Arthur gives Merlin a concussion, as he hits the stone floor (because they are romantic, but also more stupid than Lois and Clark, since they’re, you know, a bloody gay disaster), he snogs the shit out of him too, and they start working together, and getting rid of the enemies together, and form a bond that is even deeper than the one they had before already, and Arthur meets Hunith’s mother as someone else entirely, while the chaos ensue, and so do the messy feelings:

like it happened in Smallville, but did not, because Lord forbid the gays, happened in BBC Merlin.

The knights of The Round table are the other DC superheros, and Guinevere could either be a superhero of her own or the wise and smart counsellor, who would be the journalist in Smallville, and Morgana is still Arthur’ sister, good or evil, it does not matter (she could either be after Merlin or after him, the options are innumerable).

Morgana is basically the obnoxious sister Lois’ has always had, who even gets a fake crush on Clark/Merlin to manipulate the two (these TV shows are too similar, I swear).

But I’m not done.

Oh, no, I’m not.

Because imagine all of this, imagine Smallville, but as a literal crossover with Merlin:

a fanfic where Merlin is the apparent imbecile employee at the Daily Planet, who actually has so many super powers, and he’s invincible, and his boss is Arthur Prat Pendragon, who is sceptical of superheroes, and his father Uther haunts them down, and is the owner of said Daily Planet, and loathes Merlin, because he talks about superheroes in his newspapers, and about his dad, because sodding fucking hell, he could control dragons.

Imagine the mess as these two fall in love, even if Merlin thinks he hates the rich, twat boss, whose order he has to follow, while Arthur treats him like a servant, rather than a journalist; Gwen could be either Chloe or Lana Leng, the best friend or the past lover, and Lancelot becomes Guinevere’s Jimmy or Oliver Queen, and Pete Ross is Will for Merlin, and Uther, is still the mad man they have to defy.

Merlin could have had so much potential, and a plethora of ways to have the magic reveal happen, and yet it was not used, and yes, if you didn’t notice, I’m still so mad over it.

I cannot fathom the amount of happiness I would have felt if they actually merged two of my favourite TV shows ever together, a good crossover between Smallville and the Arthuriana, in this case, BBC Merlin in particular.

[noturlondonboy]

An open letter to Kevin Fiege

Note: please do not take this too seriously chat, I was assigned with writing an open letter for my English class, and I decided I needed to diss on Kevin to my English professor for a little while.

————

Dear Kevin Fiegi, (I know I spelled your name wrong, it is intentional.)

I’d just like to start off with a very sincere screw you. And if this wasn’t a school assignment that my professor is going to read, I would be using some choosier words.

Second, kindly go to Hell. Emily, my apologies. Moving on.

Let’s start with one of the most glaringly obvious problems you created and let happen in the MCU- the confusing and unnecessary death of Natalia Alianova Romanova, otherwise known as Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow.

I can understand Natasha insisting that she be the one to sacrifice herself instead of Clint- it fits her character archetype and offers a solid way for her character to die with dignity. If it weren’t such a stupid idea to kill her off in the first place.

Might I offer an alternative to keeping one of the arguably most important characters in the Marvel Universe dead in the cinematic adaptations? Did we even think about Tony Stark bringing her back with the Infinity Gauntlet when he revived half the world’s population? Did we consider at all that maybe when Steve Rogers made the (horrible) decision to stay behind in the 40’s, he could have warned the team about the dangers in Endgame? Maybe he could have prevented the Snap in the first place.

Maybe, maybe, maybe… so many options, and yet, here we are, onto Phase 5 of the MCU and Natasha Romanoff-less.

More on Steve in a second.

Natasha’s death felt unnecessary, shallow, and forced in order to create a narrative with enough drama and angst to soothe the most particular crowds. While we already had very few strong, main female characters, the loss of the Black Widow only adds the problematic misogyny in the MCU. This is aided by the fact that we received only one Black Widow movie (after she had canonically died, mind you) and have three Iron Man movies, four Thor movies, and three Captain America movies with a fourth on the way.

I’m sensing a pattern here, Kevin. A pattern I do not like.

If we wanted to stay on the topic related to misogyny, we could talk about Wanda Maximoff, and the injustice served to her character in Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. The show Wandavision gave us a beautiful narrative of how Wanda reacted to her immeasurable grief, and wove together an exciting story that provided us with intriguing lore and storyline options. However, in the absolute dookie bomb of Multiverse of Madness, almost every single point of conflict and character development that Wanda experienced was completely trashed and ignored in favor of turning her into a villain for the sake of villainy.

A terrible reason, by the way. Literally what the hell. Kevin. I am so incredibly upset with you.

Back to Steve Rogers, as promised.

Steve in himself is an incredibly in-depth character that absolutely lives up to the hype. He’s Captain-freaking-America. His actions are purposeful, his morals and strong and set in doing what is right, not what is expected. *cough cough* When Steve decided to stay in the 40’s when returning the Infinity Stones, he disrupted several important plot points. In Agent Carter, Peggy Carter moves on from Steve when he’s lost to the ice and finds love and peace and happiness with someone else. Steve ultimately steals back her affection from that life she had built for herself, and the importance she completed in her life with that man.

Have you ever watched Agent Carter, Kevin? Have you read any of the comics that you’re adapting for the screen? Have you seen the movies? The shows? Do you understand the plot lines you’re supposedly in charge of?

Secondly, we cannot forget about Bucky Barnes, even though Steve most certainly did. Remember Bucky, Kevin? Remember Steve’s best and closest friend? The man he promised to always stick with, “to the end of the line”?

No, Kevin. Clearly, you do not remember. Steve absconding Bucky was entirely out of character and makes no sense. What are we even doing here?

Thank you, but no thank you, Kevin. Please hand the MCU reigns over to someone who actually cares about the characters and what the fans want (in a reasonable sense.)

-London, aka the one you should hand them to.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

This person genuinely thinks that Aang would be a better character if he kidnapped a baby?? Or would be more interesting?? Honey, why would he do that. That's not him being boring, that's just him not committing an actual, terrible, crime. Alos it's his show, it's literally called 'Avatar the Last Airbender' of course he's going to get more episodes focusing on him, it's his show???

"Aang being a main character limits him to being a role model'' by brother in Christ, this a Nickelodeon show. Even Zuko is a bit of role model, in the sense of him being a way to teach kids "Just 'cause you're hurting doesn't mean it's okay to be a dick to others. Please apologize if you ever hurt someone."

Also Aang DOES make morally questionable, and downright incorrect, choices that the narrative address. Fleeing when the other airbenders want to send him away, hiding the map to Hakoda from Sokka and Katara, trying to learn firebending before he's ready and then vowing to NEVER use that bending again, trying to trigger the Avatar state, wanting revenge on the sandbenders, shutting off emotionally to not deal with his pain over losing Appa, refusing AND accepting to ignore his love for Katara to fully master the Avatar state, his innitial refusal to continue pretending he is dead to hide from his enemies, the Ember Island kiss, and even his refusal to kill Ozai (before the actual Deus Ex Machina happens).

Aang is challenged all the time. He grows all the time. He is allowed to be wrong all the time. Yall are just mad he was the protagonist instead of your favorite.

And while I agree Sokka didn't have much of an arc, I disagree about Toph never growing even if there were some issues with her storyline. She went from someone who was terrified of accepting help from others as that had always meant "lose all agency" her whole life, to someone that consistently relies on her friends. She went from uncooperative because "she carries her own weight" to being a team player that even offers her friends emotional support. She even makes the first step to reconciliate with her parents.

LOTS of characters had arcs (Iroh, Jet, Mai, Azula, and even King Kuei- that's how stories work. The reason some of these were handled better/given more or less screentime is because Bryke insisted on having only three seasons, even though the show clearly needed a fourth. It had nothing to do with "the problem of having a protagonist" - that's not a problem if you're a competent writer with enough time.

Also, if you see Katara in the FIRST DAMN EPISODE talking about how much she wants to learn waterbending AND how grateful she was to be allowed to be a kid again, yet you're suprised to see her become such a badass whose happy ending is helping end the war and thus be allowed to be a kid again because "she's just Aang's love interest", that says a lot more about YOU than about the show.

Avatar's writting has problems, yes, because no work of fiction is perfect because no writer is perfect. But the overwhelming majority of complaints from some fans come not from acknowledging those flaws, but from a complete inability to understand some REALLY basic storytelling stuff that the show handled with excellence.

That's what happens when you're too focused on what you want to see to actually look at the story playing out in front of you: you miss incredibly obvious things that the writers made as easy to follow as possible since the show is aimed at 7-year-olds.

[brekk3red]

Everything Wrong With Five x Lila

☆ A Yapping Session ☆

Notes: TUA Season 4 was a colossal disappointment, but of all the things I didn't like, Five x Lila had to take first place. As always, spoilers after the cut !!

I think the most obvious problem with it all was the age-gap. With a character like Five, whose mental age was such a big leap from his physical age, problems were naturally going to arise when it came to romance. In season 4 (but before the metro incident), he was about 60+ years old mentally and 19-20 years old appearance-wise, while Lila was in her mid-thirties. One could argue that this wasn't illegal - by (approx.) 25 years old, the brain would have fully developed and can make sound decisions in romantic situations, thus age gaps were no longer so significant. This could be true, but it was still far from being normal.

It's almost like some fans have forgotten who Five really is due to his appearance as a young and attractive man. They like how soft he becomes with her, how happy he seems. However, they're forgetting that-

This isn't him: This is him:

Now think back to all the scenes between Lila and Five in the show and substitute young Five for age-accurate Five. Creepy, right? Five isn't the innocent character deserving of the 'love' he finds in Lila after all he has been through, he's someone who should have had the maturity and rationality to not date someone mentally half his age and is also his brother's wife.

With that being said, I don't believe Five would ever do such a thing. It's blatant mischaracterisation to make the character whose top priority had been his family almost the entire show throw it all away in those 7 years of being stuck with Lila. I mention the 7 years because it seemed like the writers' excuse for making them fall in love. Their reasoning is essentially "It's a long time and they were losing hope, so we can't blame them for turning to each other". It's like saying that a man and woman cannot co-exist for so long without catching feelings, regardless of whether they were in-laws or not. 7 years should also have been nothing to Five; he never lost hope when stuck in the apocalypse for 40+ years, so why now?

What I also hate about this is how they butchered Lila x Diego. From the storyline, Lila apparently fell out of love with Diego because she thought he complained too much and had a dad bod. The domestic life doesn't suit either of them, that much was clear and understandable, but while Diego communicated his unhappiness outwardly (albeit excessively), Lila went behind everyone's back to cults and such to "keep her life interesting". Not to mention that despite his complaints, Diego still put his all into caring for his family. He learned Punjabi to speak to his in-laws, consistently went to his boring job, and risked his life just to bring home some stuffed animals for his children. The story even showed him maturing and realising how much his family meant to him, after which he changed his way and became more loving and affectionate when Lila came back. What hurt the most was that he went through that development for nothing because Lila had already cheated on him with Five. Lila and Diego's relationship had had seasons to develop and solidify, how did it all lose to the 5-minute montage of Five and Lila eating rats in the subway?? This season painted both Lila and Five as selfish and cruel people, which I don't think should be true for either of them.

During their argument on going back to their original timeline, Lila said herself that she did not actually love him, but what they had was purely for survival. In other words, she used him to cope with her loneliness and abandoned him at the first chance she got to return home. Yet it was also said by Steve Blackman that if they had more time, Lila "would have stayed with Five". These inconsistencies between what happened in the show and what was said by the writer did not help to sell their relationship, and only served to show how poorly formulated and executed it was.

Moreover, I want to mention how this all spawned from Steve Blackman thinking that Five needs a love story. I don't think he did, but even if it is a necessity for some reason, there were so many options that didn't involve being a homewrecker (he could have been placed with model!Delores, his assistant at the CIA, etc.). Blackman even paired with his previous claim about Five: "How can he have a love story? He's not the kind of guy who's going to date". So while it was already established that Five having a love-interest was unlikely, the show went out of their way to make it happen anyway.

Regarding the ending, we ultimately got no closure on either relationship but only what Steve Blackman said externally to the show (which I don't agree with). We also got the cliché phrase "I see you" from Diego, saying that he understood Lila for who she truly was. But what did he actually mean by this? That he understood why she cheated on him? That he realised that she has fallen out of love with him? Was he displaying acceptance or anger? There was no time left for elaboration, and that was it. They all died and were erased from existence.

Wish I had covered my eyes while watching this season 💔

[sibylsleaves]

I am 100% with you on wanting the show to explore buck’s desire for a family, specifically kids. And yeah, personally, I’m kinda hoping, if bucktommy does break up, that’s largely the cause of it — there’s still a lot of mutual care and love between them, but they just want fundamentally different lives. Cos if they do break up, particularly for buddie reasons, it would suck to sabotage the sweetness of how they’ve come together by making their breakup ugly. Sad and painful, sure, but ultimately amicable.

BUT if they DON’T break up, buck wanting kids is still a really cool dynamic for them to explore. Is Tommy reluctant because of his upbringing? If so, does buck try to compromise his own desires for children to make Tommy happy and so he doesn’t leave? Or what if Tommy is all in and buck wants them too, but then freaks out because he knows what it’s like to have a parent who can’t regulate their own emotions and makes everything about them (even if that’s not a fair assessment of buck, it’s what he could think about himself) and Tommy has to convince him he’d be amazing.

And sure in a perfect buddie future, Christopher is such a huge part of Them and it seems obvious they’d have another kid/s — Eddie now being in a place where he’s ready to be a parent and he gets to actually BE there this time, and we already know how wonderful he is and how well he and buck work together as parents. Plus older brother Chris?? Can you even imagine? That baby would be so lucky. (though I am sceptical they’ll ever go anywhere with buddie, even if it would be amazing)

honestly, I’d love a scenario where, with or without Tommy, buck meets a kid on a call and ends up fostering her (come on, girl-dad buck? too perfect). Like, this man is such a natural caretaker and has so much love to give, let him be a dad, show!

yeah i think the reason I'm so drawn to this storyline is because a) it feels SO obvious to me that this is something Buck would be thinking about at his age, and because of the chris of it all and the sperm donor of it all. and literally ALL of his close friends are parents. and they LITERALLY SET THIS UP IN THE PILOT EPISODE WITH THAT DRAINPIPE BABY. LIKE.

And also b) I can't really think of another show that's had a MALE character like desperately want parenthood. it's always a woman who wants kids and the guy is like i don't know...or it's a woman wanting kids and deciding to make that happen for herself (off the top of my head, I know House and 30 Rock BOTH did this storyline). And I feel like if any show was going to tell that story, it would be 911, and if any actor would want to tell that story, it would be Oliver Stark, because he's said like one million times what he loves about Buck is that he's like this seemingly traditionally masculine guy but he's actually quite soft and has all these wonderful layers to him, and being a caretaker/wanting to be a father is a big part of that.

I could definitely see a storyline where Buck is actually confronted with the question of like, do you want kids/are you ready to have kids and freaking out about it. And I think, Buddie or not, the resolution to that storyline HAS to be Chris. Like Chris being the one to tell him of course you'd be a good dad, Buck. You've been helping dad raise me since I was seven. COULD YOU IMAGINE. I'd weep.

And yeah, I can imagine older brother Chris are you kidding me??? I have considered this at length.

[fkinavocado]

DADDY ISSUES ANNOUNCEMENT

ok guys. let's recap. i've been writing on this fic since august 2021. i was gearing up to wrap it up for its 2 year anniversary in august, but my mental health got in the way of writing in general, not just for this fic.

however, there has been another major block in my way.

many of you might remember this if you've been around long enough, but i got a lot of backlash at one point in the story. some felt it wasn't going in the direction they had hoped for (a typical happy ending, picket fence, kids, etc- the whole package).

and ever since, this has been bothering me- but not just because of the obvious reason (which is, that this is my fic and i should get to decide what the storyline is ultimately, and who doesn't resonate can just move on instead of sending me hate for something i share on here for free and for us all to enjoy- me writing it, and you, hopefully, reading it)

no, the real, or should i say, bigger reason is that i was upset with myself.

because, honestly... i wanted to end the fic where part 1 ended!

but... i gave into the pressure. so many ppl were pleading for more, and although the initial plan was to just write extras going forward, little check-ins mainly based on prompts, i felt like i owed it to you all to give you the happy ending everyone was rooting for... when, in reality, i'd meant for it to have an open ending all along.

yes, the check-ins would have had them be together etc, but no major plot developments such as... getting married, babies, etcetc. because i just didn't want to give them a typical story. i wanted this to be based on their dynamic, their relationship, them working on it, but not have it be the traditional story with a happily ever after.

(very many insisted a lot on the baby plotline, and maybe that's why i went with that twist in the story... because i didn't see it for them in the immediate future. and writing it in a linear timeframe without too many timejumps meant that i had to find a workaround... which only infuriated people more!)

so i'be been debating this for months now... should i go on and just wrap it up in a lame way that i didn't feel did the story justice (aka another timejump where they're finally settled, have a kid and another one on the way, and describe their happily ever after) orrrrrrrrrrrrrr backtrack to where i feel i deviated from my original plan, and take off part 2 and 3.

basically, go back to where they were on his front porch and part 1 ended:

Harry looked at you for a long moment, towering over you- you could barely see his facial features in the dark. 

But what you could make out clearly was the glistening in his eyes and the way his lips turned ever so slowly into a smile, his dimples on display. He was so handsome when he smiled, it hurt. 

You slowly smiled in return, your worried expression fading away, and you just stared at eachother like that, smiling after months of nothing but.

You didn’t need to say anything, your eyes had their own secret language. Once more, your bodies were doing the talking for you.

He held out the palm of his hand.

And… you knew.

this... this is how i wanted the main story to end. and then to just write extras, prompts you guys send in, whatever you wanted to see more of- but maybe not them having kids etc because fjdhfksd this is just not that kind of story to me! i just wanted this to be about them, the two of them rekindling their relationship after so much time apart and all they'd been through!

so... i finally took the decision, and as a result, you may have noticed that just the first 25 chapters are still listed in the masterlist (essentially, just part 1)

this was a hard decision, one i've been debating for ages, because, well... i hated having to just erase so many chapters. chapters i worked on, chapters i still see as genuine and true to their story but just... not what i wanted to write for them as a whole. i wanted to just focus on little moments. not have it be a chronological recount of their story, going further.

i had to let go of so many special moments that i loved writing! who knows... maybe i'll save some of them and integrate them into extras

that is, if any of you still want me to keep writing extras for them! i know many will still want to see snippets of them, but i am well aware most have probably given up on this fic and i honestly don't blame them. it's taken me forever to reach this decision, but honestly, i'm taking the advice of so many lovely people who came into my inbox along the years and encouraged me to stay true to what i'd envisioned for them in the first place

so this is me doing that ❤️i love their story, and all the love you guys have for it and it's just so so special to me. i couldn't bear giving it an ending that would just feel like i was wrapping it all up and putting a pretty bow on top when i have so much i wanted to explore with them, otherwise. thank you all for your patience and all your kindness. it means a lot, and i hope this news makes you happy because... it makes me happy knowing i stayed true to myself in the end.

now i can finally move on and write more for them. let's have some fun! if needed, go back and at least give chapter 25 a re-read so you know where things left off. i'm still not doing well mental health wise so please bear with me- i'm trying. i promise i am. i desperately wanna write, i love writing. writing extras is so much easier logistically- little fun check-ins that i don't have to overthink. i'm hopeful that this will prove to be the right decision going further ❤️