#nothing is real but our cool and very sexy mind

[wonder-falcon]

there rlly was like zero romantic undertone for majority of the wenclair scenes and the ones that kinda did ended so abruptly yet here we are! hanging onto that one hug with our entire lives! love this delusional little family see y’all next year 🫶

[themthrfkinprincess]

My Astro Observations . . . TROIS

Welcome back to my posts. 😁👋🏾💗

Erm let's get into it I lol haha

This first one is not even an observation ✨but✨ whenever I just hear about Pisces I think of this photo:

This probably does not even freaking make sense to you. Well literally I was on Pinterest and I saw this and the very first thing that popped into my mind was Pisces. Like I don’t know. I think that the seal signifying toothpaste laying on the toothbrush in the middle of a rainy day very mutable water energy. There is something neptunian about it. It’s very Pisces moon to me being specific. Probably doesn’t not even make sense. My cousin is a Pisces, he reminds me of this. Hm. Idk. 🐟🫧🐟🫧

The three fire signs for absolutely no hickory darn dickory reason at all :

OOF Okay. Stereotypical. But these fuckers are just loud for no reason !!! Like fren I PRAY THEE TO SHUT THE FUCK UP🥺🥺🥺. I’m lying lol !! I love loud ppl ahaha !! 😭🤣 Like girl yes let’s yell for no apparent reason at all 😆💖 !! They’re so crazy you can take them anywhere !! But like girl wait cause you don’t want to be in A Quiet Place with them- they will have you UTTERLY. FUCKED😵🤯. Like okay- it’s not even if the person just talks loud or laughs loudly- the fellow sillylington just might quite literally make random noises. These are very spontaneous individuals. And when I speak of this I mean like maybe they might have a good amount of fire placements dominating or have some good influence of it. Like girly your just loud. 😭 I also want to include Gemini partially in this mix cause you guys do weird things out of nowhere I love it- I kind of mentioned this in my last post.

These placements are the Fifth Harmony of astrology- im talking Demi Lavato💀 I'm talking Exo 💀 Just big and loud 💀 You guys give Secret Love Song by Fifth Harmony💀

Taurus, Aries, Capricorn, Sagittarius ,Scorpio remind me of this:

My mom is a Scorpio- with prominent Capricorn influence- she is very much welcomed into the Nation of Idgafsia. LIKE WOW. I aspire to not give a fuck like her !! Like these five placements be minding they bussiness foreralzies !!! Like a bomb in somebody house across the street could go off and mean while they’re in the bathroom setting up their soaps and bodycare right before they get in the shower- like dimming the lights n lighting their candles n everything IM CRYING😭 AOSNDODNSK. These ppl r nonchalant. They’re relaxed and easy to hang around, I love it I love it I love it 💖

like no this be them fr 😭😭😭 :

But personally and specifically I think a Taurus would be the mayor/president of Idgafsia. Using a old friend for observation, I don’t personally know how you could not be cool with one. She reminds me of capybaras.

When I litteraly say shes this gif I mean it. I could put a posionus snake her bed. She would have probrobly wake up and be like “not you put a poisonous snake in my bed while I was sleep. girly that’s so crazy girl let me go to the hospital real quick. ima be back. 🏥🚶🏻‍♀️🗿 ” LIKE HUH??? CQFBHENNR😭. Like if it SERIOUSLY has nothing to do with anything pertaining to them they will rlly just be chilling forreal foreal. 🗿

Aries/Gemini/Water men are so breedable imo

LOL. Let me stop😭

but yeah i could give these men the meanest strap.

Also water sign men are so sexy? wtf??

You can’t tell an Aquarius or Scorpio SHIT. They are very much “erm ackshually my fellow scholar🤓👆🏾 the sun is shuprshingly 📝🤓not the biggest 🤓📚🧪 celestial body within our vast mind boggling universe-🤓👆🏾 you may want to consider looking into stars such Sirius 🤓🤓🤓”

Like yeah dude. We know that. An Aquarius would probably try to explain to you how to walk as if you had not learned that many years ago in your fresh years on this planet. Girl move.

It’s so infuriating!! I CANT count how many times I’ve seen Aquarius like this specifically. Like ouu girly you want to be an encyclopedia soooo bad 🙄🙄 Like I don’t know. You guys really seem like know it alls, it’s really your way or the highway. I wanna prove an Aquarius girly wrong so bad. JUST BECAUSE 😈

They are the personification of finding out your ass was really on the remote after all- and now you just don’t want to admit it. Like we don’t care fren just give us the remote I’m trying to watch Once Upon a Time for the 12948372th time. 😔😞

Like girly wrap it up or whatever 🙄

But no.

No.

I do understand genuinely you guys really like to find information that really helped you out at times-and spread it to dear ones. It's very nice of you seriously- we appreciate it. Thank you my beloved wanna-be-encyclopedia, like rlly seriously my pookie scrimblo sticks. 💗🥰

Speaking of Aquarian influence. MY GOD. Idc if it’s Saturnian or Uranian or whatever. If it’s Aquarian/Capricornian (does that even make sense? I have come to this DEFINITE conclusion; that AQUARIUS/CAPRICORN IS JUST SO SEXY🤯🤯🤯 but the big emphasis is on Aquarius like MY GAWD.

*Dance for You by Beyonce starts to play* Like no . . . Papi Hiddleston is SO. FOINE. *DRAMATIC EXPLOSION* He be having me GAWKIN!! you ever see somebody so sexy you get scared ?!?! 😧 like oooh im shivering in me timbers !!! 😰🫣😨

several Aquarius have done me like that N LOOK. DONT EVEN TRY IT- Yes. I’m a marvel girlie. I might litterly bring up anything marvel related on every post so don’t even be shocked lol. Just expect that from now on im so serious lol. and yo my sister mad whacky she said he’s ugly and talked about his bamboozled hairline what a friggin' bitch😔✋🏾n if you think so too on January 22nd, 2024- on that Monday at 8:17 AM you will slip on a banana peel. 😈 🍌🍌🍌

I’m getting sidetracked BUT I watched that new BBC interview of him after season 2.

AND YO.

HIS VOICE IS SO DEEP WHAT?? ZOO WEE MAMA !!! 🤤🤤🤤

But this is how Capricorn/Aquarius have me😋😋😋

like it’s me bby . . 😜😉 let me be ur girl . . . mmmh stop trippin papi 😚😋🥰

They are sex walking I’m so sorry. This goes for Capricorn too with that Saturn energy. You guys r so hawt n sexay. Like sheesh meowwwww puurrr slay the boots house down yas. 🐈😼 😈

Like jeez let’s play Cool Cat by queen real quick.

Now listen up!

Virgo, Sagittarius, Leo, Aquarius, Aries, Capricorn, and Gemini !!! Im talking to you !! 💗😋 These placements are so accepting imo. Like no- I've just noticed that these placements.

Virgo- I think you guys seem to be good listeners. This goes for Gemini too- maybe because they may share qualities with Mercury. They both do so in a caring sense- such in a sense that if you feel like maybe no one is hearing you/dont feel heard they will maybe at least try to hear you out. I think they r just great when u need an ear 💗

Now Aries, Sag, Leo Gemini and Aquarius I LOVE YOU AGH. Is it me or like I LOVE WATCHING YOU GUYS BE YOURSELVES AHH. You inspire me so much AHH!!

YOU GUYS INSPIRE ME TO BE BOLD N TO JUST BE MYSELF LIKE ARGHH MATEY!! IM GONNA DO IT!!!!!!

I feel like there are times. Where you can feel or felt unsure or awkward about yourself. In my opinion I often see these signs just doing their thing at times- it can be unapologetic. It does not even have to be bold or anything they can just be minding their business doing their everyday thing. I guess what I'm saying is I love how authentic the sign can be.

There is some sort of level of confidence in them that they can stand on. I love it.

And yeah- I've just come to this conclusion that Capricorns, Geminis and Aquarius can just be weird? Like lol. Thier humor can be so weird and so out of the box sometimes- personality too. I feel when they are literally just being them, it is very inspiring to me imo.

Like i feel like you can have a dance off in the kitchen like this at 4am with them idk 😭:

N i guess its why I think these signs (Cap, Leo, Aqua, Aries, Sag) can usually be very sexy easily bc they r just so authentic n raw to me its kind of poetic like im twirling my hair rn n giggling 🤭

I feel like Leo, Aquarius and Scorpio can be like this when hurt:

"I'm so tall, can't get over me

I'm so low, can't get under me

I must be all these things

For I just threw out the love of my dreams"

Of course- when it comes to modality the four signs will obviously have something in common. What I mean with Leo Aqaurius and Scorpio is- they are just so- well- fixed. I noticed they try to act like they don't care about something- when they very much in fact do. You can't jump over them, you can't get under them- you can't get besides them, and like even if you did- it cannot really affect them that much anyway . . . -right? It feels like punching a stone made of jelly on the inside (literally so random- ik fren lmfao) I can punch a stone, It's fine- well not my knuckles ofc- they can be so hard when hurt. Sheesh. Only if you knew that you wobbled up that Jello a little bit on the inside. (Does that even make sense?)

And don't even try to pick up the stone- its too heavy. They ground themselves whatever philosophy they got going on in their noggin🥴🥴🥴🥴- no matter if its emotionally or whatever.

"He is in my eyes, he is in my ears

He is in my blood, he is in my tears

I breathe love, and see him everyday

Even though my love's a world away

Oh, he's got me wondering

My righteousness is crumbling"

It will bother them. And bother them. And bother them. And bother them. Bother them. And Aqaurius with think about it- try to bargain about it imo. Scorpio with feel a very fucking speicfic way about it and not say SHIT. 🙄😒 Leo's are so silly- they just try to act unfazed

but we easily know lol like ok girl-I'm sorry but there is something too whimsical/unserious about them to not know when somethings wrong 😭. But yes-back to the point. In short- its so annoying with them bc three gwrorlies dont just want to admit or submit to things at first. These three live off of cool down time !!! lmfao 🤣 you really got to give them a moment. Maybe a long time too. They care so much. Too much at times- like girl be calm.

I feel like they can do the most. They will do all sorts of things just to stand on something- or an idea or feeling that they had. It is hard for them to be wrong, or to lose. Sometimes I feel like these three need to learn how to truly let things be or go. Not everything has to be a chess game fren. ☹️💗 It like they feel they need to be a few steps ahead- they might feel ashamed or disappointed or sad or otherwise with them.

erm i have few more things to say but im literally tired of typing lol.

Ciao!!

[istadris]

Bowuigi ft. Bowsette

Since you voted for it, here is my version of Bowuigi involving Bowsette.

First of all, have in mind this AU (thank you @scribeprotra for sending me that ask )

Now by this point, once Luigi gets to where Bowser is detained, I have two different scenarios :

TLDR : Scenario 1 : Bowser gets turned into Bowsette, recognizes Luigi but Luigi doesn't recognize "Bowsette" Scenario 2 : Bowsette is a separate person from Bowser (and the villainess), Bowser doesn't recognize "Mr L" but Luigi does recognize him.

Scenario 1 : Villain turned Bowser into Bowsette and has locked her up thanks to several spells, claiming 'such a delicate flower shouldn't be exposed to the harsh, cold elements before our wedding day"

(As you can imagine, Bowsette is FURIOUS).

Luigi crashes into Bowsette's bedroom and she immediately grabs him by the collar :

"YOU ! What the shell ! WHAT are YOU doing here !!??" "I-I-I-I-" Are you here to kidnap me ?" "Errrr...." "Good, because this place SUCKS !! And I can't get out on my own, because that dumb spell forces me to be "escorted by a gentleman", so you'll do the trick, got it ?!" "G-got it!" "Now get me out the hell of here!! "Y-yes ma'am!"

Bowsette has immediately recognized Luigi (seriously, who does he think he's fooling with that dumb mask when he's still got his cap?) but she NEVER wants to admit who she really is, so for now she has to pretend she has nothing to do with that Koopa King guy. "Although I heard he was damn shredded, with sweet muscles that make the ladies swoon" Luigi : "Oh, you shouldn't get your hopes up, he's got a terrible attitude and he's been chasing after a lost cause for years." "..." "Which is a shame because seriously, he's a real catch! He's sexy, he's got a lotta kids, he's a musician, he's badass, his minions love him, why does he have to be so dumb and stubborn ?!" "...Wait you think I...he's sexy ?"

For all her efforts, Bowsette is TERRIBLE at lying about not knowing who Mr L is.

"Can't you jump your way through here, pasta braiiiiiizilian truck Mushroom! " "What" "I'm errr having a heat stroke ! Yeah!" "Oh no ! Hang on Miss!!!"

Meanwhile Luigi tries his best to act like a villain but he's torn between how "Mr L" would act, his education who makes him very polite to ladies, his respect of badass ladies (including Peach, he knows she can hold her own if needed) and the weird behavior of Miss Bowsette everytime he mentions how cool he finds Bowser if only he wasn't such a doo-doo head.

Scenario 2 : this time Bowsette is a separate entity from Bowser and she is the villain. Maybe a crazy fangirl going too far with her obsession for the Koopa King to the point of capturing him and trying to force to marry her.

Here too, Mr L crashes into Bowser's bedroom, but here Bowser doesn't recognise Luigi. He's furious because he's stuck here thanks to a damn spell, but at least now he's got a minion to get him out !

"A spell trapped you here ?? Wowie, must have been a really powerful one !" "Nah. It's a spell that prevents me from using stairs AND THEY'RE THE ONLY WAY OUTTA HERE !!!" "...oh." "YOU FIND THIS FUNNY ??" "WAH! Nonononononono, not funny at all !!!"

While on the way out escaping the castle, Bowser muses out loud on how it's the WORST to have some crazy fangirl chasing after you and forcing themselves on you, seriously, can you believe it ?

Mr L, deadpan : "Never saw that before. Can't imagine what it would be like."

Still, he tries to use the opportunity to encourage Bowser to maybe realize that there's other Cheep Cheep in the sea, and mayyyyybe Bowser could look for better options than the princess already in a committed relationship who expressed several times her refusal to Bowser's propositions ?

Except, because he's Luigi and both the best and the worst at expressing himself, Bowser ends up convinced that Mr L is making a move on him and is jealous from Peach. Now that's hilarious ! And flattering, because Mr L is a dorky little villain but he's the most efficient minion Bowser ever recruited!

"By the way, when did you sign up ? I should have sent you after Mario ages ago!" "You hired me, actually." "Wait, what ?? How come I don't remember ??" "Errrr you had some memory issues around that time."

Which Bowser interprets as "we had a drunken one-night-stand and that's when I hired him", and he feels a bit bad for not remembering it.

"You know what, once we're home, I'll make it up for ya!!"

He has no idea how exactly, but hey, thinking ahead is for nerds, that's what his advisors are for!

[panda-puma]

(I am sorry in advance, because you unlocked a ramble I've had in me since I saw Zoro and realised that Oda looked at the Cool Manga Dude Archetype and said "no" and made our Mossball capable of wide, wide smiles (which are apparently lost post-timeskip but that I ignore, I am not looking, I am still pre-timeskip, I am soaking every smile and grin) 300+ chapters in and I still am riding the high of love at first sight, when it comes to OP. one day I might find flaws but for now it is perfection incarnate 😂😂😂)

aw, it's sad hearing how the anime kills characterizations. especially with core characters. Nami disgusted by Sanji!? c'mon, why would you do that, anime-writers 😭

to taint any relationship in OP, where the relationships are what makes it such a good read 😭

it's true that when Sanji gets more spicy, what makes his reaction tolerable is how the girls just shrug it off. they care not! they feel safe around him! Nami pranced around him in bikini, and our boy was more interested at first in flowers 😭

thank you so much for movie recommendations! ❤❤❤

I absolutely adore the story and the characters! and the writing! I've cried like a baby while reading OP more times than I've had while consuming any other media. it just hits you in the heart with sniper accuracy ❤😭 and then makes you cackle like a witch. rinse and repeat. i love it.

(reactions still dictated by the story up to the very start of Impel Down) I'm still trying to fully put my finger on what exactly makes me love OP that much but I think that what gets is how much trust there is between the characters. how easy they love each other. (Zoro and Luffy? dear god, they are so good. 100% trust.) and how silly they can get. It's rare that I love absolutely everybody, yet here I am: I'm collecting my silly little boys and girls like pokemon. I will catch em all. gimme more.

I cannot get enough how emotive the characters are. when they smile it lits up the sky. when they cry I cry with them. when they goof off I watch them fondly but when shit hits the fan, I read with baited breath how my silly little goobers get serious. there is a whole rainbow of emotions and I adore it.

(Sorry for taking so long to answer! this month went by extremely fast ;v;UUu if i take too long to reply you can talk to me privately too, i don't mind!)

Don't apologize for passionately loving things! It's the best way of living! ❤

Oda writes characters so well, that even in their comical exaggeration, still feel like real people to me. Everything is for a reason, even the dumbness (that i absolutely love xD it's just amazing to me that even that has its reasons and wraps so well with everything)

And yes, sadly the Anime really kills characterization... Nami and Sanji's relationship is completely changed. They are not really friends in the Anime. Nami is not kind, ever, and Sanji is just interested in her as a sexy object. They are not friendly with each other... when in the Manga is obvious that they are friendly and chill most of the time.

Sanji adores her, yes, but in the Manga he is not just there to be her slave and please her. He has dreams and a beautiful relationship with Luffy too, something that the Anime decides to completely erase from existence...

The Anime transforms all the characters into one note (the one that they decide is funny for children or to sell merch): Nami is the girl who only screams and hits the others, Sanji is just the pervert idiot who fights all the time, Luffy is just an ugly goofball with nothing between his ears, Zoro is serious guy who is the comical relief and screams all the time, Chopper is a baby, Robin is a mysterious woman (who gets jealous of Chopper paying attention to other women)... etc etc etc

They are so reduced to this roles, that when something they can not edit out of the original story (because it's an pivot point in the story) happens, it even looks out of character!

Of course a lot of this is also amped up by the amount of continuous filler the Anime has, where they just butcher the characters even more...

It's a lot of work and as you see I am a slow writer xDu but I really want to get deeper into writing about how the differences matter a lot.

I hope you've continued with your reading and have even more to share! OvO please feel free to talk to me again

Again: very sorry for taking so long to answer ;v;U my audhd threw me off everything very hard this past month

And finally I don't really agree with what people say about Zoro losing his smile post time-skip... at least in the Manga! The Anime can look like he doesn't smile so much anymore, i guess...

I feel like Zoro's default expression is calmer after the time-skip ^^ you can see how he is not frowning all the time like before, and he still has his cool smiles!

Beware a bit of Spoiler ahead!

Have some non-very-spoilerish images of him smiling post-time skip, just in the first arc post time-skip:

[an-aura-about-you]

cracking open a room temperature one (Handbook for Mortals chapter 1) with the boys

when we last left our hero, Scheherazade, who insists on having a nickname that doesn't sound like her name, had just left home after some vague thing her mother did. it's implied that she used magic to keep her stuck in her one horse town, but it's never outright stated and I doubt it will be at this point. it's wild because it honestly doesn't take much for me to side with a kid against their parent in a fictional argument, but you're giving me nothing to work with so I don't honestly know if Dela even did anything that bad.

also I'm upset that Dad is apparently on just the right wavelength to hear the name Zade and guess that it was similar to Scheherazade. but maybe that's one of those parent things like when good ol' Strong Bad told us that a garage sale is more like a garbage sale and made them rhyme. so congrats, you have reached your target audience of nearly 70 year old dads who do things like doing a little dance when they try on a comfy pair of shorts at the store.

anyway, on to Chapter 1: The Magician

-Zade is doing her audition in front of the entire theater company of nearly 200 people. this is ridiculous both in real life and in the story. like isn't that equal to about 2/3rds of the population of the town where she just left? why waste their time when you probably only need to audition in front of like 3-4 people?

-I don't know why Sarem feels the need to explain what show blacks are. I'd be surprised if someone reading this book hasn't seen a piece of media that shows the backstage crew all in black. I guess it kind of works because she takes the time to talk about how she thinks dudes in show blacks are sexy? but like, we know that black clothes are sexy. that's why the concept of the Little Black Dress exists.

-"Most of the performers looked bored." which means you're really making a great first impression. her audition hasn't started yet, but she's already getting off on the wrong foot with her potential coworkers by dragging them to see this when it's clear they'd rather be somewhere else, like getting ready for their next show since a number of them are in full costume.

-the boss of this thing is the "infamous" Charles Spellman, which means it's time to get into word choice! this isn't exactly a wrong word to use here, but I think it has different connotations than what Sarem was going for in this scene. it's kind of like when I watched like half of the opera Doctor Atomic and a song chose to use the word "odor" when talking about a pleasant smell. it's my understanding it was based on a real poem, but odor typically DOESN'T convey a pleasant smell, and I probably would have chosen "scent" or "aroma" instead had it been me. likewise, unless we're talking about Spellman's penchant to date girls his daughter's age, then there's not really anything infamous about him.

-speaking of, we've got a dude named Spellman and his daughter isn't named Sabrina, but it occurred to me tonight that it WOULD have been hella cool and still a subtle reference to Sabrina the Teenage Witch had she been named Zelda. I might just pretend we're reading about Zelda Holder for the rest of this book.

-in the very next paragraph after calling him infamous we're told Spellman is well respected. so which is it?

-the theater is in the round with stadium seating. (she doesn't say stadium seating, she spends like half a page describing stadium seating instead of just calling it stadium seating.) we're keeping this detail in mind for whinging purposes later.

-ok, Zade is talking about how she doesn't know much about her father during the book's introduction to Spellman. HOW was him being her father supposed to be a twist?? there's a difference between planting clues to your twist and just spelling it out for the reader. but then, considering Sarem has been spelling everything else out, I'm surprised I'm not seeing dashes between the letters.

-this girl on Spellman's arm, Sofia, is the Designated Mean Girl, and I'm gonna take a moment to do what Sarem SHOULD have done and think about her like she's a person for a second.

Because here's the thing about writing, guys:

Your characters are not people; they are tools.

Your characters are most successful when they APPEAR to be people instead of tools.

All of the characters you write are you. Yes, you. Not just your designated self-insert. ALL of them. Even the characters that might be based on someone else since they're still going through the filter of your perception of them.

so let's take a look at Sofia with some information that we're going to learn about her later. we know almost immediately in the book that she's Spellman's girlfriend. (she's about to tell it to Zade "coldly and mean even") and if you know how this book ends, she and Spellman will be broken up sometime before the ending because *spoilers* Spellman is gonna marry (possibly remarry?) Zade's mother Dela. this means their relationship is possibly on the rocks at this point. we're also going to learn smartphones exist in this world. considering Sarem's lack of creativity thus far, I wouldn't be surprised if that includes Facebook and thus has info on Spellman's past hookups. also, when Spellman talks to Zade, he doesn't mention being pleased to meet her or anything. he already knows her, and she knew enough to set up this weird ass audition with him.

if I were Sofia, I would be thinking one of three things:

I would think this girl wants my spot considering my boyfriend is respected as a magician but otherwise "infamous" so it's likely known he likes them young.

I would (incorrectly) assume this is Dela and/or another ex and that Spellman is going to leave me for her.

I would (correctly) assume this is Spellman's daughter and she's about to give me shit for banging her dad.

also, there's a scene later in the book when Sofia talks about paying her dues to be in the show. if she and Spellman are close to splitsville, then her illusion is in the show by merit of her actual talent. even if I was banging the boss, I'd be pissed if his kid showed up expecting a position out of pure nepotism when I had rightfully earned my spot initially. all things considered, I would probably be kind of cold in my greeting to her, too, especially since Zade straight up forgets about Sofia by the end of the page. if Zade can't be bothered with Sofia, why should Sofia bother with her?

-Zade is all self-conscious about everybody sizing her up before her audition but like. what do you think happens at an audition? they are literally here to judge you???

-let's just pause the book for several paragraphs while we introduce you to every fucking person who works in this show. because that's a worthwhile use of pages and ink.

-I know from later information that the dude Zeb who's looking at Zade like he's not happy she's here also knows real actual magic. and like, yeah, I'd be pissed off if I had a magic show in Vegas and worked very hard to conceal my true magic ability while still making it work in the show only for this rando from bumfuck, nowhere to come along and just blatantly do magic in front of fucking everyone in the company.

-this probably would have been a good setup if Zade was supposed to be unlikable but I honestly don't think Sarem would have the ability to write an intentionally unlikable protagonist if she wanted to. and considering she literally confirmed Zade is her self-insert mary sue, I doubt she's supposed to be unlikable. though this also leads to the story problem a lot of mary sue stories have: if the protagonist is already perfect, then where is her character arc going to go? (the answer is nowhere.)

-"I do hope you can get this going soon; we all have other things we need to do." wow Zeb really is a magician you guys! he was able to read my mind!

-oh my god everyone is ignoring Zade. I love this.

-oh this is rich, saying the way Trig spoke to her could have sounded very condescending, Miss "Let Me Devote Paragraphs Of This Book Explaining Show Blacks And Stadium Seating."

-Zade takes the time to tell us it bothers her when people say her name wrong like "Zaad" which just makes me wonder how the hell Sarem thinks Scheherazade is pronounced. like, after reading this I tried doing this with my own name since it could be parsed like that, going from Auralie (rhymes with bee) to Lie (rhymes with eye) and I'm just distracted by how wrong it sounds. I'm convinced that Sarem thinks (or thought, idk if she's heard anyone say the name since publishing the book) Scheherazade rhymes with jade because I can't imagine being called Scheherazade, hearing it pronounced correctly by my mother all 25ish years of my life, and then not being bothered if someone said ANY part of it wrong.

-Mac the technical director is very upset that he hasn't been able to do a safety check on Zade's setup for her trick. and yeah, bro is right. I don't care that Zade signed a waiver, this is still one hell of a liability for the entire company because we don't know if or how any of the other acts will be affected by this.

-Zeb is playing on his phone during Zade's audition. clearly he's the most relatable character in the book so far.

-Zade meets a guy that she claims is too attractive for her to date because she wants to be the prettier one in the relationship. this is the first of many of the little things Sarem will sprinkle into the narrative that indicates Zade is not interested in any actual partnerships but instead wants others the way one wants objects.

-I notice that Charles calls Zade's act a "jump" but Zade thinks of it as an "illusion." calling it a jump is the more fitting description. what she does is she uses her Actual Real Magic to turn the stage into some kinda fiery transportation liquid for her to dive into only to reemerge from the nearby pool. she throws a rose down as proof that the stage is solid, but I mean. anyone who comes to see this trick will go, "Oh! There must be some hidden pool for her to dive into and the rose landed on the only solid bit!" like, I used to really REALLY like magic shows as a kid, and if you watch them long enough, you start picking up on some of the sleight of hand they use, start noticing some of the things they do to try drawing your attention away from the mechanics of the trick. the trick as presented is only truly impressive because of its high dive nature even with the magic.

-wow, Zade even points out that a regular audience would think "trapdoor," meaning once again that the magic part of this is pointless since the high dive is the only part a regular audience would find impressive.

-immediately after the trick, Zade throws her rose to Sofia, winks at her, and says, "For the pretty lady." once again putting myself in Sofia's shoes, this is the moment Zade makes it personal, the moment Zade throws down the gauntlet. this would erase any lingering doubts in my mind. as far as I would be concerned, Zade specifically came here with the goal of ousting me from my position in the show and just straight up challenged me for it in front of literally ALL of my coworkers AND my boyfriend. the absolute fucking nerve of her.

-Sofia gives her a fake smile upon receiving the rose. I'm amazed she had the strength to do that because holy shit Zade that wasn't just a bitch move it was a bitch samba.

-"I was starting to realize it was going to be harder to keep our secret from everyone." YOU MEAN YOUR MAGIC? THE MAGIC YOU JUST POINTLESSLY USED FOR YOUR HIGH DIVE ACT? THAT MAGIC? THE SECRET MAGIC THAT YOU JUST SHOWED 200 PEOPLE? IS THAT THE THING YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KEEP SECRET?

-Spellman's assistant Beth tells Zade that the offer in her contract is the biggest she's ever seen Spellman offer. this is just beyond insulting. girl walks into her daddy's theater like she owns the place, does a high dive with some pointless magic sparkles, and then Daddy gives her allllll the money.

in an interview Sarem did for Vulture, she says that she wrote the story so her self-insert could have all the things she wanted. so, what, Sarem wants her dad to give her some money? if the idea is that Zade earned it, that doesn't hold up no matter how you look at it. with the twist built in that Spellman is Zade's father, it's gonna reek of nepotism upon reread no matter what. but let's look at it without that, and let's take a moment to look at Sofia again.

if I had to pick the dynamic I THINK Sarem was going for with Zade and Sofia, then it's probably Elle and Vivian from Legally Blonde. (not that I think Sarem would watch Legally Blonde, but that doesn't mean the example isn't fitting.) Vivian doesn't take Elle seriously and initially tries to humiliate her but eventually comes to respect Elle the longer they know each other and genuinely befriends her. but it's important to point out that the reason Vivian develops that respect for Elle is because:

she sees all the hard work Elle does to actually earn her position on the legal team

Elle is a genuinely kind person who works to uplift others even if they didn't start on such great terms (more on how Zade treats other people especially women later)

Zade is like if Elle showed up to Harvard Law with the necklace from Ace Attorney that's haunted by the Ghost of Lawyers Past that gives her all the legal information she needs to win the case and bigger boobs. that's just the magic equivalent of what Warner did buying his way in.

long story short, the work Sofia puts in to her prestidigitation act is more impressive than Zade's magic, and Zade getting a position in the show is an insult to that hard work.

ugh, and that was only the end of chapter 1.

[screampied]

well, hello there. (read as lady dimitrescu’s voice)

ok, vegas, you interacted with my account…again. love, i think you’re ought to find out who i am before we can even smell october 1st. so cute that you think i’m sweet, because whenever i re-read what i wrote for you im like “oh, that’s not…that’s weird”. i also think you are very sweet! i’m intimidated with people, so indeed i took the opportunity of being high and loose and approachable to send you that first ask.

i think being a whore for ghostface is as easy as saying it’s name. the masks stays on!! do i mean sex or the killing? both? yes. hm, moving along, what’s you favorite ghostface? mine would be stu and jill.

oh, oHH. ok but toji removing the mask, slowly, and the first thing you see is his scarred lips with that smirk. like stfu, i’ll show him a scream. and geto. that man is my lawfully husband, and picturing him with that knife is doing stuff to me. blood on his face, like in hidden inventory, passing his thumb to try and clean it…mshdhdjdjdk fainted

sam as ghostface would’ve been predictable, but it would still be cool. i think they could take a different approach with her. while everyone is scared shitless because a knew killer has show up, she would be excited because-well, she can kill now. again and again, with the excuse of saving her friends and sister. maybe might even kill someone by “mistake” who knows. i think it would be nice, i like the idea of the good character going a lil crazy crazy.

the thing about sidney is that they won’t have the courage to kill her. literal mother of the final girls. but… dale? yeah, i’m bracing myself and praying for her poor little soul.

yes!! they were right in what they did and the ones that loses are the directors. the movie won’t do good at all without them, so must likely they will comeback, as we say in my country, “the sorry dog comes back” as in the directors are the sorry dog, with tail in between their legs.

between cars and bikes im more inclined to cars, but bikers and drivers? ugh, i’m sold to the bikers. sukuna is the type of guy to go to street races just for the fun of nearly dying (in a modern world, of course). i picture a red vintage car with black flames draw in it. oh he would so sexy, he is sexy. others i can see in street race is toji (of course, he bets all the time) and suguru. idk this trinity can have me anytime any day anywhere.

SHUT UP HUNGER GAMES IS SO FUCKING COOL

i used to be a divergent person, but hunger games has grow in my heart. finnick and peeta forever the best boys, suzanne collins cooked with them. and then she fucking burned it with finnick’s. still not over it, how come gale is alive???

jokes aside, i actually fuck with her writing so much, because it’s true, there is no actual victory in a war, we lose too much to be able to live through it. too much nightmares and death.

i’m reading a fanfic set in the hunger games universe, nearly as many words as in the bible, and it’s so fucking good. the author wrote the aftermath of the games perfectly, the rebellion, missions, the games itself. it’s everything.

yapping is done, question of the day is favorite movie and favorite music? see ya!!

nut anon

SLLLAAAY

nutty pook i rly enjoy our long chats i just wanna let u know that 🫡. also the lady dimitrescu voice ????? stawp. do you play resident evil oh now that game is my shit.

LOLLLL DID I. i swear it’s not intentional man. maybe it’s fate 🧿🧿 you think im sweet omg ty AAAAH.

sex with ghostface where the mask stays on is actually cry FUCKKK IM GONNA WRITE THAT. october is gonna bring out the slut in my writing istg. ooooh my fav ghostface ?? probably jill and roman. i love amber too, but billy ofc.

GHOSTFACE TOJIIII DONT DO THIS TO ME. he’s so do that, don’t mind me im writing this down 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️. real they can’t kill the baddest bitch, the whole franchise is nothing without mother.

sukuna as a street racer ID CREEWWAM. i literally saw a sukuna car at the race i went to. i had many interesting thoughts ……. kuna def bets ur so right, toji too with his broke ass.

KEKFLGLHL I LOVE THG ITS SO GOOD. do you like the movies or books better? i like the books but the movies slap

fav movie uhhhhh legally blond, fav music psychedelic pop and indie !!!!

[docholligay]

Us, standing on a platform in the countryside, fog surrounding us and nothing else, a whistle in the far distance signaling our time to coming to an end.

“But Doc,” you say to me, looking a bit like a soft-focus Ingrid Bergen, eyes shining with honesty and hope, innocence and goodness, “Haruka and Michiru said they were in high school. An anime girl wouldn’t lie to me.”

“Kid,” I say, taking a puff of my cigarette, even though you are the same age as me, but in fairness I look a little more like a Humphrey Bogart type, you know, cool, noirish, but a lesbian though, so maybe like if Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart an an inappropriately intense baby, but obviously very sexy, “What do you know about Japanese driver’s licenses?”

“No, Doc,” You shake your head, “She said she got it overseas. That’s what she said.”

The rain begins to fall, just a fine drizzle, and I can see the stream rising from the train, coming toward us like a flood, keeping us from one another.

“Crab,” There’s a firm quality, ringed at the edges by a lace of sadness, like some kinda emotional doily, “You tell me what country lets a 15 year old non-resident get a driver’s license, that also has Japanese reciprocity. Even Michiru said--”

“I shan’t believe it!” You’re not Ingrid Bergen now, but I can’t remember what old-timey actress talked like that, so I guess you can stay Ingrid Bergen or whatever actress you want. “There is honesty and goodness in anime, Doc! Honesty and goodness!”

I tilt your head up. “I believe that you believe that. Damn, I wish I could. I wish I could look at the high rise apartment and the driver’s license and the solo tours and then the house, and still believe. Still not think they just infiltrated a school. There’s a magic in you, Crab, and I never want you to let it go. It’s a beautiful lie. We need people like you, to make the lies real.”

I move to kiss you, but you step away, shaking your head. That’s fair. It’s not the first dame I’ve disappointed on a train platform in what is maybe rural England but also possibly rural France, but a soundstage though.

“Just go,” You back is turned to me, “I won’t speak of this anymore.”

The train glides in behind me with a shriek and a puff of steam blows up  the back of my trenchcoat. I toss my cigarette to the side, extinguished immediately by the rain, but then I think for a minute about how nobody likes a litterbug and I fish it out of the puddle and sort of shake it off before stuffing it in my coat.

You never do turn back around, not as I get on the train, not as I glance out the window until you become a dot on the horizon. I had to go. You had to stay. But I’ll never forget what you said to me, echoing in my mind even now.

Ahdkdhdjd.

[webslingingslasher]

“hey, i might not wait til marriage but you are and that's fucking cool”🥹🥹🥹 this is so cute and made me feel so good AHHH <3

okay I need to SPILL.

first I wanna say i know this isn’t a big deal and when I eventually talk to him about it, he’ll be reassuring but I’m freaking out first and i wanna talk to the girlies first instead, but I do feel like I can tell him (bc if u can’t talk ab these things w someone, you shouldn’t have sex w them in the first place)

but bro I am FREAKING out HDNDNDND. we’ve been looking at rings. he hasn’t proposed because he said he still wants me to be surprised and stuff but we got carried away talking one night and he let it slip that he wants to marry me and somehow we started looking at rings. we went to a couple shops just to get general ideas bc I have no idea what I want!!

ANYWAYS. I was super excited and I had a full blown freak out earlier😀 I’ve been waiting til marriage my whole life (I’m 23) but he hasn’t, he had multiple sexual partners in high school and college and a couple before he met me. I was just thinking ab our future wedding night bc it’s getting super real now and I don’t think it’ll be that far in the future and I was like omfg. this whole wait and it’ll be over in one night. like “that’s so exciting, FINALLY” type thing bc the wait has been hard😭 I’m just a girl and he’s soodkdjdkskskksskso sexy😭

and then I was like…. It’s all over in one night

and I was like, wait. I’m a virgin virgin. he isn’t. even just fingering/head (which I literally cannot WAIT for😭) is gonna be new bc I’ve never had another guys fingers in me and whatever. and I’m not nervous at all, I’m so excited, I’ve waited so long as u can imagine JDJDKDK but I was like realistically, it’ll probably be overwhelming. and then ur meant to do everything in one go? even in most ‘normal’ relationships where people aren’t waiting till marriage, you don’t usually go from 0-100 in a single night😭 that’s kinda insane. like ‘oh you’ve only kissed a boy? well here is literally everything under the sun!”

and I think I just realised today, for the first time, that maybe that wont realistically be what I want. like doing some things and then the rest after. like we’re gonna be married forever (that’s the plan😭) so we have all this time to go it yk. not that I’d necessarily wanna wait super long after we’re married, but I just feel kinda… bad. like, he’s waited this whole time, just for me. imagine we get married and he’s super excited to finally get to hit and in like “actually……..🤣”

idk. I just feel a little alone because even the religious/non-religious ppl I know (who decided to wait just because), none of them felt this way. they were so ready to just jump in and start boning (as they should bc the wait hasn’t been easy😭) but idk I feel… idk. I feel like that might not be me, like I feel like I might need a little more time just to get used to like, everything in reality yk. bc it’s all fun and games saying it rn but I realised earlier, when I started really thinking about it, that I haven’t done anything and realistically, even ppl that don’t wsit need more time yk.

he obviously won’t make me feel bad for this either, he’s not a monster & he’s very understanding but I’m just spiralling.

this might not even be a problem, realistically the second we’re married I might not even make it to the after party and just be like “dick in me now pls” but… ifkdjdjddjdjw

I’m thinking too much lol. I’ve waited 23 years and it’s so real now that my mind is spinning. I’m sorry for the ramble but thank u for listening & for the girlie talk JDJDJDX💗💗💗💗💗💗 i love u so much

(I am sooo ready to get married tho😭💗)

i am so happy for you both!!! i really wish you the best of luck!

i think him being experianced will help out so much in the long run, but girl, there's nothing to worry about! if he's waited this long, what's a little more? like you said, you may change your mind but you said you wanted to wait until marriage. so i'm with you, why does it have to be your wedding night?

it sounds like he's going at your pace and he's in no rush to bed you either. you already know you're gonna talk to him about this so kudos! and coming from me, it sounds like you're ready for sex and that's awesome.

you're excited and that's the most important. (after loving and trusting your man.) trust me, it'll be worth the wait and i can't wait to hear about the proposal!

[misstress-electra]

This involves my roleplay character and my ex's. I was Lilith from CAoS and hers was an OC. During one thread, they went into an alternate universe where they had rapidly aging triplets. This idea came from chats of ours and songs (there's a playlist). It would've been longer with more sex had it not been for our breakup. I finished it quickly for her birthday.

I should really rewrite it if I want it to be something. It sounds very "roleplay" to me. I replaced her character's real name, going with her nickname throughout.

Pas de Deux

(under a cut due to length and smut)

She was feeling the music more than hearing it, using the beat to practice her pirouettes on the spot. This was her first time back in the studio since they welcomed their children and got the now young women settled, and it had been even longer since Lilith had last danced barefoot. It worked her muscles the same way, but she was really only used to ballet, not doing any other style of dance since she was younger. They wouldn't be hard for her though, just different, and getting away from the rigidity of ballet was a refreshing change. She even wore a sleeveless white bodysuit, a nice change from the long sleeved black leotard that was mandatory for class.

As the music sped up, she spun fast enough to feel air cooling her sweaty body. She continued to pirouette until the song slowed down, then danced across the floor, moving with the rhythm instead of worrying about her form or lines, which were nearly impeccable despite her lack of practice.

The ballerina jumped through the air and landed on one foot, throwing her other leg up and grabbing it while turning in place. Thanks to her frisky fiancee, Lilith hadn't lost much flexibility in her downtime. Once she stopped spinning, she glanced out the large window facing the garden and spotted a flash of gold through the pink azalea bushes. Maybe Peri was sneaking a peek.

The siren was spending time in their backyard while Lilith worked out but said she'd check in on her after an hour. "I wouldn't mind watching you dance, so maybe I'll come back early." Perhaps she was getting glimpses from outside while Lilith focused on how the music flowed through her, influencing her movements. She wanted to keep it up for the whole hour; her body was cooperating for the time being.

The song changed to a dance track with a Latin flair from her regular workout playlist. She began swaying her hips, arms flowing gracefully as she did a sexy cha-cha, even winding her body lower to the music.

She continued dancing out of her comfort zone, the unfamiliarity causing her body to work harder as well as sweat a little more than usual. All forms of dance amazed her, and she had nothing but time and space to explore them as she pleased.

Soon, the lively song faded out, and in the seconds of silence before the next random selection, a door clicked shut, the one leading from the hall. It really could've been any of their friends or the girls, but Lilith knew it was her fiancee before actually seeing her.

Reflected in the mirrored wall, she saw her gorgeous goddess watching her, back against the door. The sun's rays coming through the large windows hit Peri's blonde tresses, giving her an ethereal look that made her look just like an...

"Hi there, angel."

Lilith continued dancing, giving her fiancee a little show of shaking her hips and ass as the new song pulsed through the dance studio. They'd made love to this song before, and Peri would be excited to see the ballerina attempt some moves they'd seen their daughter's exotic dancer girlfriend do minus the pole.

Keeping her back to her, she trained her eyes on Peri's in their reflection once she was finished looking her up and down. The cute green skater dress she'd selected today showed off her toned arms and legs as well as cleavage. The colour complemented her hair and made her eyes look even greener. Her gaze fell on the siren's chest for a moment before dropping below her waist. Something was trying to poke through the skirt fabric.

She looked over her shoulder, giving Peri another glance up and down, focusing on the down before turning her attention back to her dance. Lilith knew what Peri's plan was, what she was packing for her, just like she knew how to get a rise out of her, not that she needed help in that department.

She sensed Peri's approach as she bent over, moving her hips. She didn't need to look in the mirror to know she was coming for that ass.

Lilith shivered, feeling Peri's gentle breath on her neck, then her ear when she spoke. "I have been thinking about this all day." Her sultry voice had Lilith weak in the knees, as did the stiffness pressing into her.

Before the ballerina could comment on its size, Peri pushed her to the mirrored wall, and Lilith's hands went to grip the barre, bracing herself against it. The sudden use of force made her throb.

Her fiance caressed Lilith's sides, both hands dropping down between her hip bones but only one going farther to cup her cloth-covered heat. When her fingertips disappeared under the fabric and were immediately met with wetness, Peri groaned in her ear. Next came a sexy chuckle along with little finger wiggles.

"You're ready for me.... I love that." Her words rustled Lilith's hair, tickling her neck. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Peri."

The brunette turned in hopes of getting a kiss, which she did receive except it was on her neck. She locked eyes with the now smirking Peri.

There was a rustle before the fake cock rubbed between her thighs, increasing the pressure as she moved her fingers nearly out of Lilith's leotard.

Since being rubbed through the thin material felt as good as she imagined, she worked her hips to push herself against the toy, watching Peri the entire time. Even with a fabric barrier, her wetness helped her slide along its length. Her calves would definitely get more of a work-out; their height difference required her to be on her tiptoes for optimal contact.

A low growl started in the blonde's throat as she started moving her own hips faster than Lilith's. Peri put her hand on her abdomen and pulled her ass against her, then nudged the ballerina's legs farther apart with her knee. Her hand went back to Lilith's leotard, this time to yank it aside, freeing her pussy. She glanced back as the cock made contact with her folds and continued to stroke her.

Her gasp was stifled by her fiancee's kiss, tongue flicking over her lower lip. Peri tugged her dress higher so it stayed up on its own. She wanted both hands free. She kept rubbing over Lilith's sensitive flesh while trailing her lips from her mouth to her neck.

The brunette whined, "Stop teasing me."

Peri gave her a small nip, soothing it after with her tongue. "But you love it." She knew her fiancee well.

Her lips found Lilith's again as she shifted backward and guided the thick toy to her entrance, and without breaking their kiss, she jerked her hips, sinking deep inside Lilith.

The ballerina's eyes widened, a loud cry escaping into Peri's mouth. She wanted to keep kissing her, but this position would likely cause a kink in her neck.

Peri drew back until she was almost pulled out, then pushed back in. "How's that, baby?"

Lilith's mouth hanging open in a silent moan answered Peri's question for her, but she couldn't stay quiet once her fiance began thrusting, starting slowly. Her body responded by moving with her, helping to reach all her sweet spots. Peri gripped her hip, eyes dropping to where they were joined before meeting Lilith's again in the mirror.

"Fuck, you look amazing like this," Peri purred.

Lilith tightened her hold on the barre while supporting herself with extended arms so she didn't fall forward. She cried out instead of responding with words. She forgot what those were once Peri picked up the pace until she was pounding into her.

She pulled the white strap down until Lilith's breast was exposed and went right for her nipple, tweaking and rolling it in time with her thrusts, all while smirking at Lilith's reflection. Watching themselves, and each other in the mirror, fucking where they could be caught by their children or friends.... The ballerina wouldn't last much longer.

"I like your hair up because it lets me do this...." Peri kissed the back of her neck, reaching to take hold of Lilith's messy twist. She undid her thick hair and wrapped it around her hand, fingers tightening on it. "But I love your hair down because I can do this." She gave her hair a gentle yet firm tug.

Lilith couldn't help but cum from that. Her eyes went wide as she held her fiance's gaze, crying out her name. Peri was fucking her hard enough to cause interruption to her moans, which was comical to hear, but the ballerina was too caught up in passion to laugh. Her tight pussy spasmed yet was unable to grip Peri's pistoning plastic penis. She fucked her through her orgasm, only to bring her close to another. She moved Lilith's hair out of the way, let it go and pressed her lips to where her shoulder joined her neck. She gave a light kiss before gently sucking her skin. Peri loved leaving her mark.

Shocked she could think straight, Lilith had a naughty idea. Peri was loving the view from behind, but she was going to make it even better.

Without interrupting their rhythm too much, she moved her right leg out and up, lifting it and putting her foot up on the barre. Peri's mouth fell open as she got an amazing view of the ballerina spread for her.

Her gaze met Lilith's in the mirror as her pounding now had her juices splattering on the hardwood floor. Her green eyes gleamed, glassy like she was high on both lust and love.

"Babe... fuuuck."

Peri went as fast as her body would allow, letting out grunts and moans almost matching Lilith's in volume, and when the brunette countered her thrusts to push her cock deep, bringing her right to the edge, her fiance's noises increased in frequency. Peri was close too, but she was too busy concentrating on bringing her woman to orgasm to relax and let herself cum.

Lilith held the barre tight with her left hand and laid the right over Peri's gripping her hip. "Angel, it's okay. Just let go."

Peri's lips found her shoulder, moaning louder against her, and Lilith bit her lip when she felt teeth scrape her skin. She might really get marked.

Her thrusts slowed right down, her moan interrupted when she did indeed bite her shoulder as she came. Lilith cried out at the exquisite mixture of pain and pleasure, then she was cumming again.

Peri wrapped her arms around Lilith, rocking her hips as they both rode out their orgasms. The brunette relaxed her hold and would be leaning forward if she wasn't being held tightly by her love.

"I'm sorry, darling," Peri murmured as she soothed the bite mark with soft kisses.

Lilith chuckled. "No, you're not."

She wasn't ready for Peri to not be one with her but she had to kiss her comfortably. She shifted forward until the cock pulled out of her, then moved Peri's arms slightly so she could turn around while still encircled by them. She only had to step a little to either side to not get poked by the toy.

Lilith pressed her lips to hers, her own arms going around her fiancee's waist. "That was amazing."

Peri gave her the sweetest smile before booping her lightly on the nose. "Just like you."

[misanthropicvampire]

6. 13. 14. 16. 30. 43.

<3

sexy.

Age you get mistaken for? - varies wildly and depends who's doing the mistaking. when I was younger I was able to pass as 16-18 because of my height, now most people get my age right except particularly hammered bar dwellers who assume that I'm in uni. fake id serves me well

Biggest turn ons? - I'm assuming that the answer here should be different from what I find most attractive (physically) in a man/woman so. submissiveness, obviously. but also a willingness not to be easily pushed around, some amount of conflict/resistance. I like people that I'm able to fluster and that can be easily embarrassed, masochistic tendencies, eager to explore new spaces and trusts my judgement. I'm very attracted to people who don't play it cool/hard to get and are open about when they want something and how much they want it - nothing that's more of a turn on than someone who isn't ashamed to be a little desperate

Biggest turn offs? - over-apologeticness and the need to hide whatever we do out of shame. fickleness, constantly changing their mind about what they want out of our encounters, extreme jealousy/possessiveness that prevents me from having my freedom, jumping the gun and assuming that certain actions = certain commitments without discussing it with me first, engaging in petty relationship dramatics

I'll love you if... you respect my need for a private life and making my own decisions, you neither idealise nor demonise me and accept my good and bad aspects as essential parts of my personality. you take a genuine interest in my passions instead of engaging me only out of politeness. you have a flexible perspective of the world and consider different viewpoints/take on board new insights. you don't play mindgames and are very direct with how you feel and what you want/don't want. you let me play a protective role and know that I do this not because I think you're incapable, but because it's how I best connect with others and demonstrate that I care

What I hate the most about work/school? - of many things, the expectation to obey without question and the assumption that authority figure's viewpoints are the only correct ones/that I'm too uneducated to have a worthy perspective

Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately? - while I'm exclusively attracted to women in my real life the number of attractive female characters/celebrities that I can list off the top of my head is appallingly low. coming immediately to mind is trent reznor in the '90s when he'd throw himself around the stage floor in next to nothing sweating bullets and screaming lyrics along the lines of being beaten and cut up

[dinamnealey]

HBO'S VELMA... WASN'T VERY GOOD

(crossposted from https://artofdinam.com/)

Soooooooo… I saw the first episode of HBO’s Velma. You know, the “adult” Scooby-Doo show that doesn’t have Scooby in it, and features lots of “edgy” humour and lots of self-referential mockery, and which fans declared to be the worst thing ever before it even came out.

But I was willing to give it a chance. I’m all for new takes on old franchises, even if I don’t really see the point of Scooby-Doo if the dog isn’t there. (This was apparently an executive decision, mind; the higher-ups at Warner Animation explicitly told the showrunners that the dog was off-limits.)

Besides, I kind of like Mindy Kaling, show runner and also the voice of this incarnation of Velma. She’s not my fave comedian or anything, and she’s done and said some stuff I REALLY don’t agree with… but I adored The Sex Lives of College Girls (also on HBO), and even if Mindy did like one tweet by hyper-transphobe JKR, she was nothing but supportive towards teen actress Josie Totah (whom I mainly know as Lexi from the tragically-too-brief 2020 revamp of Saved by the Bell) when she came out as transgender, and seems fairly LGBTQ-positive otherwise… so I’m willing to accept that this one like was a mistake and not a declaration of hatred towards trans people.

I won’t lie, when I saw the trailer for the show, I thought it was kind of funny. A bit on the nose with the self-referential humour, but still… so It was with cautious optimism I sat down to watch the first episode. And… well, here’s roughly what happened. 

DINA M’S (somewhat parodic, very critical) RECAP OF THE FIRST EPISODE OF VELMA

Velma: Origin stories suck. They’re sexist and stuff. Anyway, here’s my origin story, which doesn’t suck because I’m cool and everyone sucks but me.

Daphne: Hello, I’m a pretty teenage girl in the girls’ locker room. I’m going to go take a shower with my equally pretty classmates.  Equally Pretty Classmates: We’re pretty and naked. Look how naked we are! Daphne: Now that we’ve got the viewer’s attention, let’s turn this communal shower into a discussion forum an talk about how gratuitous nudity in pilot episodes is bad! Other Girl: Nah, gratutious nudity in pilot episodes is HOT. Almost as hot as pointless naked catfights in the shower. Daphne: I’ll give you pointless naked catfight in the shower! Daphne and Other Girl: (Have pointless naked catfight in the shower.) Daphne: This is gratuitous, you slut!! Other girl: This is sexy, you whore!!

Velma: (arrives fully clothed) Velma: (beats Daphne with a stick) Velma: Why are we talking about this and not about race-blind casting in TV shows! By the way, I’m Asian in this show, and Daphne’s a bitch. Daphne: I’m Asian too and YOU’RE a bitch! Other Girl: Wouldn’t it be hot if you two kissed now? Velma: This isn’t Riverdale. We’re not melodramatic enough. Like I said, everyone sucks but me. Velma: (goes to open her locker) Dead Girl: (falls out) Dead Girl: (is dead) Velma: Okay, that girl sucks AND she’s dead.

One short title sequence later…

Velma: (is in handcuffs at the police station) Velma: Well, this is a great beginning to a mystery. Oops, I said “mystery.” Velma: (has a creepy hallucination) Lesbian cops: (enter) Lesbian cops: Hello, sweetie honey sugar pie, ex-friend of our daughter Daphne, whom we totally adore. Velma: You guys suck. My mother disappeared two years ago and you haven’t found her. Lesbian cops: Oh yeah? Well, YOU KILLED THAT DEAD GIRL! CONFESS, YOU MURDERER! Velma: I’m not a murderer, it’s just that I want to kill everyone because they suck. Lesbian cops: Okay, well, you’re still our number one suspect. Now go investigate and find the real murderer. You have 24 hours before we arrest you.

Velma: Lesbians suck. Hey, is that Fred? SWOON. Fred: Yeah, isn’t it so hot that I’m so hot? Fred: (takes selfies) Fred: Who are you, by the way? Velma: I’m Velma. We’ve known each other for years. Fred: Yeah, well, I’m a narcissist or something, so I don’t care. Daphne: (arrives) Daphne: Stay away from my boyfriend, bitch! You killed Dead Girl! Hey, Fred, wanna make out? Fred: Okay. Fred and Daphne: (make out) Velma: I didn’t kill Dead Girl. I don’t know who did, it’s a mystery. Oops, I said “mystery.” Velma: (has a creepy hallucination)

Velma: Dad, I’m being accused of a murder I didn’t commit! Velma’s father: Yeah, well, it’s your own fault. Ever since your mother disappeared, you’ve been lame. Velma: I’m not lame, you’re lame! And you got a waitress pregnant! Waitress: I’m not just a waitress, I’m the owner of the malt shop! But more important… I’m pregnant! Let me pose for naked photos! Look how naked and pregnant I am! Waitress: (poses naked) Fetus: (poses as well) Velma’s father: (takes pictures) Velma: My dad’s taking nude pictures of his pregnant girlfriend, with his daughter in the room. Velma: And the baby in her belly is posing too, making creepy-shaped bumps on her belly. Velma: There’s something disturbing and wrong about this, but I can think what… Velma: Oh, wait, I know what’s wrong here. Velma: WE DON’T HAVE A CAMERA! WHERE DID MY DAD GET A CAMERA?!

Daphne (is making a speech) Daphne: Thanks for coming to this wake for Dead Girl I’m so sad she’s dead. I mean, she was a slut and a whore, but still. Daphne: By the way, while I have your attention, I just want to say Velma’s a bitch. Velma: Fuck you too. Daphne: My lesbian cop mothers told me she was the one who killed Dead Girl! Lesbian cops: Daphhne, we told you not to tell anyone how little we care about the confidentiality issues!

Fred: I’m sad that Dead Girl’s dead, too. OH NO BEING SAD MEANS I’M NOT A MAN! Velma: If it helps, I have creepy hallucinations. Fred: Who are you again? Velma: Still Velma. We’ve still known each other for years. Fred: And I’m still a narcissist. Or have some other condition I’m not sure the writers bothered to define. Fred: Or I’m just a self-obsessed douche. I don’t know. Fred: So what’s this about hallucinations? Velma: Well, my mom was a writer. She wrote mystery novels. Oops, I said “mystery.” Velma: (has a creepy hallucination) Velma: No, wait, this is a flashback scene that reveals my angsty past. We can’t muddle this up with creepy hallucinations. For this one scene, I can say the word “mystery” without having a creepy hallucination, okay? Fred: Um, okay. So… mystery. Velma: Mystery. My mom wrote mysteries. And she was the one who gave me my love for solving mysteries. Velma: Two years ago I solved the mystery of where she hid my Christmas presents. She went out to get me another Christmas present, That was the last I ever saw of her. Velma: The lesbian cops found her car, abandoned and empty except for her glasses and a wrapped present for me. Velma: So I did the only logical thing. I swore off mysteries for good, started wearing her classes, despite not actually needing glasses, and vowed never to open that present. Velma: That’s totally not foreshadowing, by the way. Velma: And ever since then I’ve had creepy hallucinations. It’s because I feel so guilty. My mystery obsession had caused my mother’s disappearance.  Fred: Wow. Learning this made me emotionally connect with you. I even remember your name now. Fred: Well, bye. Fred: (leaves)

Norville: Hey! I’m in this show too! Norville: I know who killed Dead Girl. Norville: By which I mean I don’t know who killed Dead Girl. Norville: By which I mean I can guess who killed Dead Girl. Norville: By which I mean I can’t guess who killed Dead Girl. Norville: DON’T DO DRUGS, KIDS! Velma: Is there a point to any of this? Norville: Yeah. See, before Dead Girl died, I lent her my camera to take pictures in the bathroom at the malt shop. Norville: NOT FOR CREEPY REASONS, OKAY?! I just suspected there to be drug dealing going on in that bathroom. Norville: DRUGS ARE BAD. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I HATE DRUGS. Norville: But now Dead Girl’s dead and the camera’s missing. Velma: Camera?! OMG! My dad suddenly has a camera! That can’t be a coincidence!!

Velma: (arrives home) Velma: (snatches the camera) Velma: Wait, there’s nothing on this camera but a bunch of pictures of babies dressed as vegetables. Velma’s father: Yes, the waitress and I have been taking vegetable baby pictures. Waitress: That was how we paid for the camera. Velma: There are so many questions here that I don’t want the answer to.  Velma: But if this isn’t Norville’s camera, the mystery is who DID take Norville’s… Oops, I said “mystery.” Velma: (has a creepy hallucination) Velma’s dad: Dammit, Velma, stop having those creepy hallucinations! Velma: I can’t, I’m too consumed with guilt! My mom vanished because of my mystery obsession! Velma’s dad: No, Velma. It’s been two years, so I suppose now’s the perfect time to tell you: Your mother didn’t vanish because of your mystery obsession. Velma: ….she didn’t? Velma’s dad: Not at all. She just ran off because you’re a terrible person. Velma: Oh. Well, that’s different. That’s nothing to feel guilty about!  Velma’s dad: Exactly! No more guilt! Velma: No more guilt! Waitress: And now that you don’t feel guilty, why not start dressing sexy? Velma: That’s an awesome idea!

Velma: (enters school) Velma: (is wearing sexy clothes) Schoolkids: Wow, Velma’s hot now! We love her! YAY! Schoolkids: (flirt with Velma) Girl: No, we don’t! She killed Dead Girl! We hate her! Schoolkids: Oh, okay, then. We hate her! BOO! Schoolkids: (throw things at Velma) Fred: No, don’t hate her! I talked to her yesterday, and she’s just sad. Schoolkids: Oh, okay then. We’re indifferent to her! YAWN. Schoolkids: (ignore Velma)

Velma: (cleans up in the bathroom) Velma: (is wearing her regular outfit again) Daphne: (enters) Daphne: So, Fred tells everyone not to hate you, huh? I guess he’s YOUR boyfriend now? Daphne: Whatever. I didn’t want him anyway. We’ve been together for a year and he hasn’t tried to fuck me even once. Velma: He hasn’t? Is he gay? Daphne: …YOU’RE gay! Velma: … Daphne: And Fred never even lets anyone see him naked! Even in the bathroom at the malt shop! Daphne: (leaves) Velma: That was a weirdly specific note to end on. Velma: OMG! The bathroom at the malt shop! Dead Girl was going to take pictures there!  Velma: And that’s the very same bathroom that Fred doesn’t want to be seen naked in! THIS CAN’T BE A COINCIDENCE!

Velma: Norville! Fred killed Dead Girl and stole your camera! Help me break into his house so we can find the camera! Norville: Okay. Velma: (breaks into Fred’s house) Norville: (waits outside) Norville: (gets bored) Norville: (calls Velma on the phone) Velma: Not now, Norville! I’m in the middle of solving the mystery! Oops, I said “mystery.” Velma: (has creepy hallucination) Norville: No, don’t hallucinate! I love you! Velma: You love me? Hah! That’s so funny I stopped hallucinating!

Velma: (finds the camera) Fred: (enters) Fred: You can’t have that camera! There’s a picture of me in it! Velma: So I was right! Dead Girl did take a picture of you in the bathroom! Fred: Yes… and now I’m gonna do the same to you as I did to her. Fred: (psycho grin) Velma: Help! He’s gonna kill me like he killed Dead Girl!! Lesbian cops: (enter) Lesbian cops: (shoot Fred in the kneecaps) Fred: (falls over in pain) Fred: I wasn’t going to kill her, I was going to bribe her to keep her mouth shut! Just like I bribed Dead Girl to give me the camera! Fred: The fact that I talked and acted like a psycho has nothing to do with it! Lesbian cops: Whatever. You’re arrested for the murder of Dead Girl, punk. Fred: But I didn’t kill Dead Girl! Lesbian cops: Yeah, that’s exactly what Velma said too. We didn’t believe her either. Lesbian cops: Oh, hi, Velma. Guess you’re innocent after all.

Norville: Well, that’s that, I guess. Norville: So why do you still have hallucinations if you don’t feel guilty about your mother anymore? Velma: Because while being a terrible person isn’t a valid reason to feel guilty, being obsessed with mysteries is. And I realized she DID vanish because of my mystery obsession. Norville: Okay. Norville: Hey, what’s this in your garbage? Another Dead Girl: (is also dead) Velma: Oh no! Here we go again!

…yeah, this wasn’t very impressive. I think I see why this show fails. Self-aware comedy really only works if you’re actually self-aware. And dramatic revelations about a character’s traumatic past don’t really have the same impact if you introduce plot twists about them five seconds later. 

There is the core of something half-decent here, but it’s sort of ruined by how the characters seem to be… not so much characters as mouthpieces for whatever criticism of pop culture and fans of pop culture that the writers have. (Trust me, I cut out a LOT of the snarky trope discussions and Velma mocking pop culture cliches.) The entire thing moves much too fast; you’re not allowed to get a feel for the characters and the setting before the dialogue tries to deconstruct and mock them. And as a murder mystery it falls flat because the mystery fails to engage. There’s just no reason to care who killed Dead Girl when the characters are all flat and unlikeable. 

Maybe the show gets better as it goes on, but the first episodeis a definite failure.

[kimdokja-real]

HI, we're the Friends of this guy, kimdokja-real.

Don't mind our Capitalization, we do it so things seem more Significant for him, it's a long story.

Just our turn to be typing, so yeah we're his friends and we just want to let the world know what an adorable, cool, cute, amazing being he is.

I'm sure you know Dokjoong right? Ok so this person does things without knowing the impact he has on others (like how you'll be excited that he's a guy?). Right so he turned Dokjoong from nothing into Something, and his notes got like 700+ notes and he even received asks despite it being a new blog and it being Dokjoong which was quite looked down upon.

But he doesn't see the Impact he has.

Also about Dokjoong being deleted........it was an emotional conflict between him and his Boyfriend, who can be quite a toxic person. So they agreed and Deleted everything of Dokjoong.

Well hard as it seems, even though he was bottomjoonghyuk, this person was more Kim Dokja than Yoo Joonghyuk at that time, and his Boyfriend occupied the role of Yoo Joonghyuk, like suddenly thrusting him into a new World, and there were emotional complications even though they were mildly good for each other. They Love each other very much, but his boyfriend can be so toxic at times...

His Boyfriend is a good person, but he's possessive af like Yoo Joonghyuk. He Sounds Cute in the Voice Recording but believe us he can be a hell of a yandere at times......

So anyway since they held roles of Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk during that emotionally complicated moment, 'Kim Dokja' acquiescenced and deleted every Dokjoong post

His boyfriend had some problems with his Masculinity at that time

It was a toxic relationship, and his friends were toxic too........but anyway, now's a new start.

We plan to take care of this person really well. He didn't say it of course but he was bullied. So he can have some trouble coming out of his shell. For example, we think his voice is Super nice, even sexy, but he thinks it's boring or just Normal.

And his family hasn't been very supportive either, the mother was really commanding (another reason why it changed to kimdokja-real, his Blog name) and income was an issue and there was a lot of responsibility well this person........He just went through a lot.

So he'll be doing new things, we want to explore his Talents and him as a person......for example like for his previous fics, he can't believe people still like them. When a person went to his current fic and said 'i know you're out of the fandom but can you.......provide me the link to your blog, it doesn't seem to work'.

Normal people would know it means you're popular enough right? Well this person really worked hard, harder than god, and yeah..........he has a lot of scars (that's why we named him kimdokja) and he can't believe he can have good things or even Deserve them.

I Know it may be sad to know this about an Author you really like, but this is the truth. So we'll be controlling his life a bit (hence the Voice acting), and also new JoongDok fic (when he didn't write JoongDok before and even disapproved of it, personal story) pushing him out of his comfort zone, but we'll always take care of his feelings and be there for him, our kimdokja and also yoojoonghyuk.

This Guy is a Being, but how to say........we think he doesn't think he Deserves the Right to be Human. Or even Act Human

I know there are some who think he's literally perfect, giving you your Dokjoong like from a God, when it was impossible. Well he's Impossible........but I think he's been impossible enough, and we'll try to get him to speak about his feelings and be more Human.

Like Someone sent an Ask asking if He's Alright...but he Never posted it, just left it in his ask box, like he doesn't know how to reply.

Anyway, we'll just be helping him become more human.

[the-good-projxct]

Feb 25th, 2024

10:22pm. Listening to Say Yes by the one and only Michelle Williams ft Bey and Kelly. 

Sitting up in my room in Karen. I got back yesterday mid morning. I love doing rounds with Aunty Bome. Like she is very similar to Mom in the ways that she shops, expresses and spoils us. She also gave me lots of solid advice and wisdom. I really enjoyed and appreciated my time with her. I came home and chilled with SweSwe, Karimi and Moka wa Mwiti. Mbete came home so I spent some time with her as well. She is cool, young and creating her own world. I liked that she came to see grandma on a Saturday night for the night. That is wholesome. Couldn’t have been me at that age but I appreciate what she did. Today is a family day around here so I went downstairs around noon. I walked out of my room and SweSwe was there so we had a little kiki upstairs. Honestly, me and this old lady go together real bad. Maybe it's a Virgo ting. Maybe it's that I am  her grandbaby. Maybe it's the Meru bonding. Maybe it's her love for my dad. Maybe it's her love for my mom. But my LAWD, we go together realll bad. She is becoming one of my favorite people day by day. The fact that she has chilled out on her sterness also helps A LOT. Party gyal me and her did not get along. But we are Gucci now. Anyway, by the time I went down, the house had cousins, uncles, aunties, elders and staff. It is pretty nice but it is also a lot of socializing. And yo, I can do it for a limited period of time before my brain gets exhausted then I am irritable or uncomfortably quiet. Our family dynamics also feel like game of thrones. Like, the mind games, competition, wahala is a lot and I ain't in it, I ain't with it but I know I am a pawn. So being mindful is so key and having to be extra mindful for a long time because no one is trustworthy is insane and exhausting. So after like 2 hours, I was tired. I got my only friend in the house and we went to the mall. We got latte’s at ArtCaffe. Walked around, checked out clothes and perfumes then went to buy chicken masala for SweSwe. By the time I got home it was supper time and folx were leaving. I went upstairs and Shaka called me. We chatted for a little bit. I miss that dude. I am looking forward to seeing him in a few weeks. Mom and LoustaLousta are coming in a week. If our family is GOT, my mom is like the Queen Mother in Wakanda. No one can mess with me as long as she is near. It’s like the ultimate play. So I don’t talk back, I don’t start nothing, I don’t respond/react to nothing. And if anything bothers me enough, I tell mom and whoever bothered me gets an emotional beheading from KaMami and SweSwe. Soooo yeah, I always win so I don’t even play. Also, all this is happening on my dads side of the family and he is so removed from it. I truly Love that for him. But I also Love that my mom is the don in my fathers mothers house. I found a cute little vendor at the hub that sells African style fits. I am gonna buy a few because I really don’t like my closet right now. I have nothing dressy, just sporty/casual. Which is fine because that's the vibe I was in while writing the Gøod manifesto. Now I feel cute again, sexy, African and I wanna flex that. My tan is back. My skin is GLOWING. I am an African sun baby again. Munene is supposed to be here in a few days and I am nervous. Like nervous, nervous but happy. I missed him and I can’t wait to see him, be near him. We are Gøod. Life is Gøod. I am Gøod. Ase. Ase. Ase

[samanthamarkle92]

Haven't shared a sneak peek of my writing in a while, so here’s a favorite scene from my post-apocalyptic romance Their Scars (full version available on Wattpad). In it, our characters Collin and Kayla go for a swim out in the Outback. What’s sweeter than a first real kiss out in nature?😘❤️

Collin and Kayla headed into the rain forest, Collin driving the truck. Kayla looked out the window at the surrounding desert; a sea of sand and in it an island of green. When the two of them got into the forest, she took it in the softened sunlight and the sounds of the birds. This is home, Kayla thought, smiling. This is where I can stay safe.

She turned her head back towards the window, but couldn't get over how beautiful this place was.

Her eyes sparkled with the first hints of hope for the future. Kayla was starting to believe in a new beginning. One filled with laughter and smiles.

"This is the trail," Collin said, parking the truck and interrupting Kayla's thoughts. They walked towards a river and into a clearing. In it was a beautiful waterfall. It cascaded down from a ledge in front of them and dropped in a series of falls, each one more beautiful than the next. Kayla stood with a smile on her face, mesmerized by it all. The waterfalls falling through the trees were hypnotizing as she sat looking out at the scenery around them. She had seen parts of the world before she was kidnapped, but never a place like this. There were no monsters here; it was a paradise. Collin grabbed her hand, pulling her along.

They made their way to the falls.

"I love it!" Kayla exclaimed. She flew into Collin's arms, wrapping hers around him. "I love it here, it's beautiful," Kayla said, her face buried in Collin's chest.

"I'm glad that you like it." Collin wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"I've never seen something so beautiful before," Kayla added. She lifted her face out of his embrace and smiled. "This is wonderful. Thank you, Collin...." Kayla said, reaching for Collin's hands. She held them tightly in hers and squeezed them.

"It's no problem, Kayla," Collin smiled. He squeezed her hands back. He looked down at her and smiled.

"We should go swimming," Collin suggested. "Do you want to?" he asked.

Kayla nodded her head vigorously. She wanted to jump into the clear cold water and let it wash off all of the grime she accumulated from years in prison, years of being starved and beaten and abused. Years of living with fear and despair. Years of being afraid, being hurt. Years of living in fear. She finally found happiness. And he brought her to it. To this place. Where everything felt so familiar and so peaceful that it made her feel at peace. He brought her to this place and she could feel the warmth of the sun again.

"Yes! I loved to swim before I came here," she said.

"It's a great swimming hole. A lot of kids from the village come here; there are no salties (saltwater crocodiles) in this stretch of the river."

"Well, you're sure you wouldn't mind?" she asked.

"No, I don't mind," Collin replied. He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the ground, exposing his muscular torso. "You wanna join me?" he asked.

Kayla blushed a little as she stared. He had

a very sexy body and was absolutely gorgeous. He was definitely fit and toned, making her blush more.

Kayla walked to the riverbank and put her feet in. The stones were smooth and cool. She waded in until she was swimming in the chest-deep water. It felt good on her skin. Then, she sat behind the waterfall, feeling the mist on her face. She closed her eyes, enjoying the gentle spray of the cold water.

She was wearing her swimming suit under an old shirt. She noticed that Collin was staring at her; she smiled.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing. You look beautiful when you're relaxed," Collin said.

She smiled again and looked at her feet. Collin came and sat beside her. Kayla felt so happy, she scooted next to him and put her head on his shoulder. Collin put his arm around her in response. He stood, and held out his hand.

"Come on, I got something I want to show you."

Collin led Kayla up to the top of the waterfall. The sun was shining and filtering through the trees. It warmed the stones beneath their feet. He took her hand.

"Are you ready?" He asked.

"For what?" Kayla asked, confused.

"To jump, silly."

Kayla jumped back from the edge. She wasn't expecting that.

"If you're scared, we'll climb right back down," Collin assured her. Kayla looked at the water below hesitantly. She turned her gaze to Collin.

"Hold my hand?" She asked quietly. Collin held it a little tighter.

"Always." He answered affirmatively.

They both counted to three and jumped in. The river was so cold it stung. Kayla's head burst out of the water first. She was taking in some air as Collin came up to the surface. Her hair was stuck to her forehead, and she shook it away. Collin swam next to her, noticing her smile.

"I can't believe I did that!" Kayla exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with delight.

"That was awesome!" Collin yelled.

"Wasn't that great?" He asked, smiling.

"Yes!" She squealed. He didn't expect her to put her arms around him. She looked up at him, and before he could stop himself, he kissed her on the lips.

Her breath gasped in. He broke the kiss at the sound, knowing how she might react to it.

"Sorry." He answered lamely.

Kayla didn't seem upset. Surprised, maybe, but not upset. She held on to Collin a little tighter.

"Don't be sorry." She said, smiling. "I liked it."

Kayla kissed him on the cheek.

"Then we're good," Collin said. He put his arm around her again. They swam together, side by side until they were tired. They climbed onto a rock, sitting down, leaning against each other.

Kayla rested her head on his chest. The two of them had been having so much fun, relaxing by the river and talking to each other, forgetting about the world outside.

The two of them got out of the water. When the sun dried them, Collin wrapped a towel around Kayla. The trip back to the outpost was very quiet; Collin was having some self-doubts, wondering if he did the right thing at kissing her. Kayla looked out the window, letting the warm air dry her hair.

[ghostinthelibrarywrites]

for the touches ask game, may I request geraskier + 26 (kisses) please? 🥺

26. giggling while kissing

Here’s a Geraskier modern with magic AU loosely inspired by this amazing video of a pole-dancing Jaskier that’s been all over Tumblr for the last couple of days. No warnings, rated M for mild horniness.

It's nearly midnight when Geralt makes it back to his apartment building, limping a little as his bum knee protests the cold weather and getting thrown through a wall by a katakan earlier that day.

He would have been home earlier, but he's gotten into the habit of showering at Eskel and Lambert's place before returning home after the time he tracked selkiemore guts all over the lobby and the concierge looked like he was going to pass out. It never mattered when he lived in his shitty studio in Silverton, but since moving into Jaskier's swanky Gildorf penthouse, he has to be careful not to get innards and ichor on the gleaming marble floors.

Geralt nods to the concierge, who has never forgiven him for the selkiemore incident, as he passes. The man gives him a cool look and returns to reading his book, which is just as well. Geralt has been tracking a katakan for the better part of a week with Eskel and Lambert and he doesn't have the energy for the kind of polite small talk Jaskier excels at.

Instead, he gets into the elevator and puts in the code for the top floor penthouse, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the wall. Jaskier never responded to Geralt's text telling him he was on his way back, so he's probably in bed by now. Geralt will have to be careful not to disturb him; his boyfriend gets cranky when his beauty sleep is interrupted.

The elevator doors open and Geralt is hit with a wall of sound. It's one of Jaskier's songs, blaring at full volume as Jaskier wails about the mercilessness of Cupid’s arrow.  As if on cue, an arrow comes flying past Geralt, hitting the wall behind him. Geralt is already reaching for his sword when it hits him that no assassin he knows would use pink, sparkly arrows with heart-shaped arrowheads that stick to the wall.

"Geralt! You're home!"

Geralt wonders if the blood loss got to him before remembering that he didn't actually lose any blood on this hunt. Because a pole has been erected in the middle of his living room, right where there was once a coffee table that cost more than his car. Hanging onto it is Jaskier, wearing nothing but a pair of dinosaur-patterned boxer briefs and a quiver of pink arrows, holding a bow.

"What the fuck?" Geralt asks. The elevator door starts to close and he just has the presence of mind to step out of the elevator before it takes him back down to the lobby. Only after the doors have closed does he remember the arrow stuck to the wall. Oh well, the concierge already hates them.

"How was your hunt?" Jaskier is hanging upside down from the pole, his thighs and abdomen quivering with the effort.

“Why the fuck is there a pole in the middle of our living room?” Geralt demands, shouting to be heard over the music.

“I’m practicing for my Midsummer Music Awards performance.”

“Don’t you have stunt doubles for that?”

“Stunt doubles are all well and good for music videos, but not for live performances.” Jaskier winces as he slides down the pole an inch.

Geralt sighs, puts down his gear, and goes to turn the music off. “Is this about Valdo Marx’s stunt last year?”

“What?” Jaskier squawks, as if he hadn’t spent weeks fuming over the publicity surrounding Valdo Marx’s on-stage acrobatics last year, which had involved flaming batons and very little clothing—which seemed like a bad idea to Geralt, but what did he know? He was just a witcher, not an award-winning musician. “Of course not. This is about artistic integrity and… okay, and showing Valdo fucking Marx what a real performance looks like.”

“Hm.” Geralt lets his eyes wonder. “Your fans will love the dinosaur boxers. Or are you going to dress up like a sexy Cupid?”

His boyfriend doesn’t dignify that with a response. “I’m actually getting pretty good with the bow and arrow.”

Geralt glances at the target, which is a good yard away from the elevator doors. “I can see that.”

Jaskier harrumphs and reaches for the quiver of sparkly arrows. The movement is too much for his legs’ tenuous grip on the pole and with a squeak of alarm, he begins to slide.

Geralt is there before he can hit the ground, scooping him up and spinning him around. Jaskier flails for a moment, not registering the fact that he isn’t still falling, before he wraps his legs around Geralt’s waist and his arms around Geralt’s shoulders. He clears his throat, cheeks pink. Geralt’s knee twinges a bit at the weight in his arms, but it’s worth it for Jaskier’s adorably sheepish expression.

“I meant to do that,” Jaskier says primly.

Geralt fights to keep his expression serious. “Clearly.”

“I could tell you wanted an excuse to cuddle. So I provided.”

“Noble of you.”

“Well, if nobility were still a thing in Redania, I would be a viscount, darling.”

“I had no idea. You’ve never mentioned that.”

“You know me. I don’t like to brag.”

They look at each other for a minute, Jaskier still wrapped around Geralt as tightly as he’d been wrapped around the pole.

Jaskier begins to laugh first, little snorting giggles that are nothing like the booming laugh he always affects when they’re out in public. Geralt can’t resist the giggles, as much as he tries; his shoulders start to shake with his own suppressed laughter, which only makes Jaskier giggle harder. Jaskier leans his forehead against Geralt’s and Geralt is helpless to do anything but kiss him. It’s far from their most elegant kiss, with both of them unable to stop laughing, but it’s all the sweeter for it.

“I am wearing a sexy Cupid costume for the show,” Jaskier says between kisses, still giggling.

Geralt nuzzles his cheek, breathing in the scent of him. Gods, he always misses this when he’s away on contracts. “With wings?”

“Of course! What’s a sexy Cupid without wings?”

“Cupids don’t exist. Sexy or otherwise.”

“Thank you, I’ll be sure to put a disclaimer before all my performances from now on.”

“Hm.”

“I can go get the costume.” Jaskier draws back to waggle his eyebrows. “Give you the full show.”

Geralt is surprised by how tempting that is.

“Or.” Jaskier’s lips twitch in that way they always do when he’s very proud of whatever terrible innuendo he’s about to make.  “I could just slide down your pole.”

Geralt arches an eyebrow at him.

“Oh, come on.” Jaskier waggles his eyebrows. “It’s only fair. I nearly shot you with my arrow earlier. It’s time for you to shoot me with yours.”

“That makes no sense,” Geralt deadpans.

“Geralt.” Jaskier tries to look long-suffering, even as he starts to giggle again.  “I’m obviously talking about your—”

Geralt cuts him off with a kiss, muffling his snorts of laughter. “You’re not half as funny as you think you are.”

“That still makes me pretty damn funny.”

“Sure.”

Jaskier wiggles in his arms. “Just for that, you don’t get to see my bow and—Geralt!” He cackles as Geralt throws him over his shoulder and starts towards the bedroom. “You fiend! You shouldn’t manhandle the man holding a crossbow!”

“Not a crossbow, Jask.”

“You shouldn’t manhandle the man holding some kind of bow!”

“It would be more threatening if you knew what kind of bow it was. Or had managed to hit the target.”

“Oh, just you wait, witcher,” Jaskier says as Geralt pushes his way into the bedroom. “As soon as I manage to hit a target, you will be the first to know.”

“Especially if I’m standing ten feet away from the target.”

“What are you implying?”

Geralt laughs and gently drops Jaskier on the bed to kiss him again, cutting off his outraged babble. Later, he thinks he’ll enjoy watching Jaskier’s dance routine, Cupid outfit and all. He won’t even mind if he accidentally gets shot with one of the fake arrows. But for now, this is all he needs—the curve of Jaskier’s smile against his cheek, Jaskier’s bright laughter in his ears, and the knowledge that he’s right where he’s supposed to be.

Tag list: @kueble @maya-the-yellow-bee @feral-jaskier @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde @dawnofbards @thisislisa @tsukiwolf42 @mosaicscale @rockysstupidity @fontegagrilledcheese @kuripon @help-i-need-a-cool-username @julek

Touches Ask Game

[plus-size-reader]

Spiderman

13 Days of Halloween 2021

Peter Parker x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2472 words

Warnings: none 

Summary: Costume shopping with Peter for a party at Stark tower, that doesn’t exactly go as planned.

—————————————————————————————————

Tony Stark had a halloween party every year at Stark tower.

It was something everyone knew about, but not very many people actually got invited to. Like everything Tony did, it was pretty exclusive, which was why it surprised you so much to learn that you had gotten invited.

Invited, of course, through your boyfriend Peter, but invited nonetheless.

“Are you sure I can go with you? It isn’t overstepping?” you clarified, for what felt like the hundredth time. It just didn’t seem real and it didn’t matter that you were in the car headed to the costume store.

You weren’t even sure you’d believe it when you were there, if you actually went.

It just seemed too good to be true.

“No, I got a plus one for a reason. Who else would I bring other than you?” he teased, poking you in the thigh, his way of urging you to relax.

You two had already been over this a billion times already and while he understood where you were coming from, you had to just trust him. This blew his mind too, and that was exactly why he needed you by his side.

There was no one else in the world he would have dreamed about doing this with.

“I just wish I would have known about it earlier. We should have already had our costumes picked out” you sighed, well aware of how much of a pain in the ass costume shopping would be.

It would have been nice to have some notice, but you guessed that you couldn’t be too picky. At least you were going to the party at all.

You would go in your underwear if you had to, if it meant not missing an Avengers party.

“I’m sure we’ll find something perfect” Peter assured, not even giving your hesitance the time of day. He knew that the two of you were going to be just fine, he’d been around these people before and he knew they’d love you.

All you had to do was relax, and be yourself. Everyone was bound to love you, just as much as he did.

“Now, what do you think about dressing up like a carebear?” he teased, earning a giggle from you that you couldn’t have hoped to suppress if you wanted to.

He could be so stupid somtimes.

Not that you wouldn’t have loved to see him all decked out like grumpy bear.

“I’ll have to see what they have before I agree to anything” you countered, only imagining what other outlandish things he would come up with in the time it took to get to the costume shop across town.

At this rate, you’d meet Tony Stark for the first time wearing a pair of cat ears and a tutu.

Which, given the sight in front of you when you walked into the costume shop, might have been the simplest choice.

The costume shop was packed, with far too many options to choose from as far as the eye could see.

The walls were littered with plastic packages, each with its own small description and a perky model wearing everything from a fuzzy elmo onesie to a mini dress, labeled ‘sexy cop’

Picking something was going to take forever.

“What do you think about this one?” you asked, pulling a clown mask from the wall nearest you and presenting it to Peter.

It was pretty cool, with a wide Joker-style grin splitting the lower face almost completely in two. It was a bit more graphic than he’d had in mind initially, but it was cool.

Ned would like it.

“I don’t know” he sighed, taking the mask from you and surveying it under the light, trying to decide whether he really liked it or not. Part of him thought it was great but the other part was really disturbed by it.

Which, honestly, was the case with most of the masks you two had come across so far.

You sighed, finding yourself similarly uninterested in several options you’d seen and left on the shelf. They were cute, of course, but nothing stood out as being the right choice so far.

...and you were beginning to wonder if anything ever would.

The two of you had been at this forever, and eventually, you were going to have to pick something, whether it was perfect or not.

After all, the party was tonight and it was happening whether or not you and Peter were on time.

Tony Stark wasn’t going to put a pause on something just because a couple teenagers had waited until the absolute last minute to get their costumes.

It’s okay, we’ll just try on a couple things and see how we feel” you decided, looking at the few things you’d gathered since you walked in. You figured that would be the best way to ultimately decide.

The photoshopped images on the front weren’t exactly doing them any justice. It was possible that they would be a lot cuter on then they looked.

“Yeah, that sounds good” he shrugged, finally feeling just how bad of an idea waiting so long had been. Though, Peter didn’t panic right away, because deep down, he knew that you had a point.  

Something was going to work, you just had to find it.

So far, he had grabbed a 20s style gangster costume, a pirate costume, and devil mask that he thought was super cool. Between the three of them, something was bound to work and if it didn’t, there were still plenty of other options.

At the very least, it was a start.

You, on the other hand, had grabbed a pirate, a flapper, and a vampire that looked like it would fit you pretty well. Of course, the options in your size were more limited than most, but they still had a few choices.

There was no use in panicking until you got into the dressing room and saw what you were working with.

So, before he wasted any more time searching, Peter headed toward the back where the dressing rooms were, and you were all set to follow him when you saw the funniest thing you’d ever seen, sitting on the shelf.

A spiderman costume.

It looked remarkably similar to Peter’s real suit, though it had been slightly altered, and almost immediately, you freaked out.

You thought it was hilarious.

As soon as you saw the costume on the rack, you snatched it, quickly hiding it, sandwiched between two of the other options you’d pulled down so that Peter wouldn’t see the treasure you’d come across.

It was too good to just pass up.

The chance to actually dress like Spiderman, with Spiderman on your arm was too good a gag to pass up. Not only was it hilarious to you, but you knew Peter would crack up as soon as he saw it too.

It was amazing, and for a split second, you actually had to remind yourself to keep your cool as you joined your boyfriend at his side, still keeping an eye out for anything else that would warrant a try-on.

For others, this might have been a quick exchange, in and out with the goods in hand but you and Peter had never been like other couples in this regard.

You took dressing up for Halloween very seriously.

...and that was just before, when you would sit on the porch and hand out candy to kids all night.

Now that you were going to some fancy halloween party at Stark tower with all the avengers in attendance, the pressure was on to impress.

The costumes had to be perfect.

It wasn’t everyday you got to meet the Avengers after all, and you knew that you had to make a good impression.

~

At first, everything was going fine.

You opened the package, bypassing the other costume options in favor of the last find of yours, the replica spiderman suit.

You couldn’t help yourself.

There was just something about the idea of seeing it on and showing Peter what it looked like that was so exciting to you.

Though now that you had it on, it didn’t seem like such a good idea after all.

You didn’t look like Peter, and you certainly didn’t look like Spiderman.

“How are you doing in there, babe?” Peter called, beginning to worry that you still hadn’t come out to show him a single one of your costumes since you’d gone in.

Normally, you would have been so excited to share with him that you would have pulled back the curtain before your costume was even zipped, like you did with your homecoming dress, but not today.

Today, you couldn't bring yourself to do it.

This wasn’t so much funny and clever as it was embarrassing.

The costume was your size, which gave it a bit of a fighting chance but aside from that, it wasn’t what you’d had in mind at all.

The cheap spandex-like material pulled and stretched in all the wrong places, and didn’t really do you any favors when it came to hiding the parts of your body you’d usually kept from the prying eyes of outsiders.

All in all, you just weren’t as happy with it as you hoped to be and because of that, you weren’t exactly thrilled with the idea of having to show Peter.

It was bad enough that you had to be disappointed in it, you didn’t want him to be too.

Still, you knew that if you didn’t let him in on what was going on in here, he would be more worried than if you just went ahead and ripped the bandage off.

Worse case, he would agree with how bad it looked, and you could try something else. That would be much better than letting him worry about you having a full breakdown today, like you sometimes did when you had to shop for clothes.

It just wasn't’ easy for a girl your size to do things like this.

That was the unfortunate truth.

“I thought it would be cute” you sighed, pulling back the curtain to show Peter what you were looking at previously in the mirror.

The traditional bodysuit style had never been your favorite, but as it would turn out, it was even less forgiving when it came to being made out of cheap costume fabric.

It definitely wasn’t doing you any favors.

Not that you would have known that based on the look on Peter’s face.

“What do you mean? It’s great” Peter grinned, finding the concept behind you in that costume just as endearing as you initially had. It was adorable, but you didn’t look nearly as happy about it as he was.

Obviously, it wasn’t what you’d been hoping for.

“I don’t know. It just doesn’t look like I thought it would” you shrugged, doing your best to keep high spirits, despite the clear fact that you were a little let down.

Of course, you shouldn’t have assumed you’d look anything like Peter in the first place. He had six percent body fat and superpowers, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t going to potentially be cute anyhow.

You had high hopes until you saw your reflection there in the mirror.

The fabric pulled around your curves, making each and every roll and divot more obvious than you ever could have thought possible and you were sure that if you pulled it any tighter against your skin, it would be sheer.

That was hardly the look you were going through.

As a general rule, you tried to cover up as much of those parts of your body as possible but Peter didn’t see nearly as many issues with it as you did.

In fact, he thought it was awesome.

Not only was the idea behind it absolutely adorable and super endearing but it also made you look incredible.

Where you saw flaws, the man you loved saw great benefit.

It was true that you often hid your body from the potentially judgemental eyes of the outside world but that didn’t mean you had to. There was nothing wrong with the way you looked, and he should know.

After all, he was the authority on the subject.

No one knew more about you than Peter did.

“It’s perfect baby, you look amazing” he assured, reaching out to take your hand in his own, and giving you a little twirl to get a better look at you.

The detail on the suit was great, a subject he also knew a lot about.

It was a pretty good recreation, if he could say so.

“I don’t know, you don’t think it’s too much for something so formal?” you sighed, terrified about giving the wrong impression in front of so many important people. Just because Peter liked it didn’t mean everyone else would.

The worst thing you could imagine would be finding out someone was talking about it behind your back at the party. Even thinking about it now was enough to nearly drive you into a panic, but Peter was way ahead of you.

He saw this coming as soon as he saw such an out of character costume on your frame.

“Everything else aside, do you want to be spiderman for once?” he hummed, looking you in the eyes out of habit and keeping your gaze locked there while you thought over your answer.

Of course, when you took everything else out of it, you knew the answer.

There wasn’t anyone in the world that wouldn’t be Spiderman given the choice but you weren’t convinced it would be that easy. Clearly, Peter wasn’t thinking about all the potential consequences to you wearing this out.

“If you really aren’t comfortable, we’ll find something else but if you want to wear this, I support you completely and totally. You look gorgeous” he continued, and you knew that he meant it.

Peter really did love you and you loved him, which should have been the most important thing.

This was a halloween party after all, not an early morning banquet with the queen of England.

“Okay, fine but what are you going to be?” you asked, content to wear this as long as he thought it was okay. After all, the more you looked at your image in the mirror, the more you found yourself drawn to it.

It wasn’t as bad as you’d originally thought once you tried to look at it from Peter’s perspective.

If you saw it from a place of love instead of a place of judgement, it was nice.

“I don’t know. Maybe Deadpool?” he joked, poking you gingerly in the side before heading back to his own dressing room, still on the hunt for the perfect partner to your spiderman suit.