#nothing perfect but im not having a horrible time i guess

[just-spacetrash]

🫥

[vampiricgf]

— v. lycaon | BRAND NEW CHERRY FLAVOR

warnings : fem reader, ignore that we don't know his age exactly im guessing, ruts, knotting for the first time, rina is mentioned but only because she's meddling, fingering, masturbation, begging, reader is smaller than him, reader has a tramp stamp, virgin lycaon, cervix fucking, biting/marking, blood/blood licking, creampie, crying, sorry if I missed anything

wc : 2.5k+

this is so long im sorry im too obsessed with the idea of him being a virgin lmao >.< also sorry if there's mistakes it's not edited so

He thought upon hiring you on with Victoria Housekeeping things would largely remain the same, the only difference being having one more person with whom to split the existing workload of clientele contracts and commissions. An easy choice thinking of himself and Rina, the primary adults within the company.

It had been difficult as of late, he could acknowledge that, balancing taking on the bulk of the work while the companies other two employees attended their schooling and other engagements that typically keep younger people occupied. And truly he didn't mind it, it was the duty of those older to pick up the slack, allow youth it's time to blossom and explore.

That was not the issue, though. The issue was you.

Not your work performance, no that was impeccable. You had impressed him enough during your interviews but in practical work you went even beyond that, showing an exemplary aptitude for even the most banal tasks. The picture of a perfectly competent maid and (occasional) hollow raider. Even able to both meet and exceed his own impossibly high standards per all the glowing reviews he receives from clients, truly you were a fantastic addition to the company.

The problem arose months ago, when you two had been tasked with a more unconventional commission involving a hollow. Of course danger was always ever present in those ether soaked spaces, both from the impending malformed creatures that called them home and from the levels of ether itself. The risk of warping and twisting the body into a cruel mockery of what once was, imbibing it with sickness.

It was the first time you'd actually worked side by side, he'd asked you to come with him as a sort of test not because he thought he really needed the backup. See how you'd been progressing, what you were like on the job, that sort of thing. A completely normal request for a boss to make, all things considered.

What had not been normal was allowing himself to be caught on the back foot, surprised. You were... painfully distracting to him. A major shortcoming on his part, it was nothing you were doing overtly to draw his attention in such a laser focused way it just seemed like he had a bizarre inclination to keep his attention on you. The way you walked, that delicious sway of your hips. That thing you did when you were thinking, running your thumb across your bottom lip. The smell of shampoo clinging to your hair and wafting over him every time you so much as turned your head. Sugary, faintly floral. Horribly distracting.

Giving some stray hati a prime opportunity to pounce. Neither of you had noticed them creeping up on your perimeter, stalking you both as you picked through the skeletons of abandoned, crumbling homes and businesses. You too busy nervously chattering away and him too busy thinking about how much he enjoyed the sound of your voice.

One moment there had been nothing and in another there was everything happening all at once. Their predatory howls, the initiation of combat. The ring of your weapon as it hit against their stone manes, the crunch of his ice against newly exposed flesh. His eyes frantically trying to keep you in his line of sight at all times, take advantage of the path you left in your wake to give the finishing blow, giving yet another perfect opening for one of the creatures to tackle him full force, the brute strength of it slamming against his side and laying him out shamefully against cracked concrete, knocking the air from his lungs in a painful squeeze.

But there you had been, like some kind of avenging angel from artworks of the old civilization. Your features were highlighted by the look of sheer anger as you mercilessly dug the weapon in your hands into the creatures back, ripping away its advantage and successfully dispatching it within seconds. He could feel how wide his own eyes were, but felt too much acute discomfort to bother trying to mask his own awe.

Not since he was a pup had he needed rescuing.

Not since he was once so pathetically, terribly young had he felt so immediately endeared to someone else.

You were on your knees beside him, fussing over him, eyes sweeping around for any signs of injury or blood. He knew there was none, would have smelled it immediately, but nevertheless he allowed himself to enjoy your ministrations. The way your hands so carefully hovered over him, trying to be mindful of thiren preferences for touch while also trying to be caring, attentive. It was sickeningly sweet of you, made him swear for a second he could taste it in the air, feel granuals of sugar grinding within his teeth. He wondered if your lips tasted even half as sweetly.

"Are you hurt anywhere, should we leave the hollow? An emergency exit is understandable, right? If you're hurt?" Your eyes met him, practically welling over with concern.

He had wanted to hold your face in his hands, soothe you. Almost immediately he'd been gripped by the horror of his own impropriety.

Clearing his throat he took the hand you offered as leverage to get back on his feet, taking note of your warmth, the surprisingly strong grip of your fingers, before you withdrew. Soft, yet capable. Beautiful.

"There's no need. We can continue on with the commission." It took a monstrous effort to keep his voice neutral, act as if nothing of note was running rampant inside his head.

From the on the feelings he had towards you only grew, like a beast growing fat off plentiful prey. Every glance from you, every accidental touch of hands, every moment of conspiratorial laughter shared between you at something silly one of the others had done. Months and months of feeling his heart rate grow increasingly erratic every time your lovely voice would sound out in the mornings, always a perfectly cheerful greeting towards him and the others before you began your work.

And so here he is, mid rut and miserable. Thrusting into his own hand, as he's done so many times before, feeling the sweltering heat in his bedroom and bubbling frustration in his head at the feeling of tangled sheets and the distinct lack of any partner to be thrusting up into.

He'd called into work, voice twinged with embarrassment because how on earth had he forgotten about his incoming rut? Well, he knew how. Because you consumed almost every moment of his waking inner thoughts, distracted him to such an insane degree he failed to fill his suppressant prescription in time. Thankfully Rina hadn't needed details, always too clever by half, but it didn't stop him from feeling intense shame rolling through him even just knowing someone else knew what exactly was going on with him.

Sickness, uh huh. Try so horny and hard he could crack a brick wall in half. The thought made him feel so erratic he couldn't help but grab a nearby pillow, pressing it to his face, feeling his now neglected cock throbbing as he bit the soft down surface so hard he could feel his teeth punching right through the material.

You, you, you, you, you.

All he wants is to lap at what he's sure is the sweetest taste in the world nestled between your legs, feel your body stretching and accommodating his size, tell you how he's going to give you his knot and watch your pretty eyes glaze over and your breasts bounce in time with his thrusts, dig his teeth into your neck, your chest, make you squeal and squirm so he can pin you down-

A few distant, tentative raps against wood.

Did he imagine that?

Tap, tap, tap.

No, no he didn't. Who would be knocking in the middle of the day? Oh god, what if it was a neglected client that had tracked down his address? Someone angry one of the girls had forgotten or completely ignored their commission? His breathing was strained, nearly wheezing as he rushed to make himself somewhat presentable, cringing as he struggled to slide trousers over his impossibly obvious erection. No time to brush down his severely disarrayed fur. How humiliating.

As he scrambles for the front door, flinging it open so hard it nearly crashes against the wall, he freezes.

Why the hell are you here? How do you even know where he lives?

Your eyes go impossibly wide as you take him in, the awkward silence ballooning in the space between you and he's acutely aware of how crazed he must look as his claws dig into the metal of the door handle.

"I'm... I'm sorry for dropping in it's just that- well, Miss Rina told me you were sick and I kind of... begged for your address so I could come check on you, I'm sorry-"

You cut yourself off from rambling, picking at your nails as your eyes flit around nervously.

Of course Rina would give you his address, mischievous as she is. She knew exactly what was going on with his little juvenile crush, his rut. Calling in probably gave her the idea.

But all that was far from his most pressing concern at the moment. You couldn't be here, absolutely not. He cleared his throat, trying to ignore that familiar shampoo scent, trying to ignore the way you look especially lovely, how easy it would be to yank you inside and just-

"I appreciate your concern, but I'll be perfectly fine. I just need to rest." Blunt enough to make him feel bad for rejecting your kindness but the boundary needs to be in place before he does something highly inappropriate. You're coworkers, not casual friends. Every thought he has about you is crossing a line.

A snide inner voice comes out of the blue and he can't focus on what you're saying, too consumed by shame.

As if you'd even know what to do with her anyway.

It must show on his face, although you misunderstand it, because you give him a look of naked concern and he's snapped back into focus. "Do you need me to call a doctor for you? I have my car, I can take you to White Waves if you need to go Lycaon it's no problem-"

"No, no it's nothing that serious." He's losing control of the situation, needs to get you out of here.

"Well, at least let me make you tea or something to eat, please. You look like you haven't eaten all day." Your worried tone makes his pathetic resolve crumble easily, like it was made of sand.

Against his better judgement he relents, awkwardly stepping to the side to let you in the door and a part of him preens at the way your scent immediately compliments his own, mingling in the space as if you inherently belong there. If he had the energy to feel it he'd be embarrassed about the state of his apartment, in disarray as it is. But you don't pay any attention, immediately finding your way to his kitchen and digging through his cabinets like you've done it a thousand times.

Watching you makes him even harder, throbbing and aching so acutely in his pants that his vision momentarily goes fuzzy at the edges. You look so domestic, so relaxed. A bolt of jealousy fires off in his brain, white hot, at the fact that numerous clients have gotten to see you in a similar way before him. Your casual clothes aren't helping him keep control of himself either.

Jeans that accentuate the swell of your ass, the shape of your hips. A tank top that's ridden up slightly, exposing a bit of your stomach as you stretch up to reach the higher spots in a cabinet. He wants to run his tongue over your belly, lick his way up to your chest, leave little love bites across your throat. As you turn to the counter beside the stove he catches a glimpse of a tattoo on your lower back and his jaw flexes so tightly he's shocked his teeth don't shatter in his mouth. He never knew you had one, but it certainly suits you. He wants to know if you have any more, in any hidden places.

"You should lay down, I can bring this to you when its finished," you say it so gently but he can't bring himself to move away, to risk missing a single glimpse of you.

He says nothing and you don't try to press him, to your credit. But when you can't quite reach the top of another cabinet, where hes kept tea tucked away neatly, his instincts to help take over before he can register that his body has moved beside you, hand going over top of yours to easily grab the box. But the way your forearms brush on the way back down makes him drop the box, a shockingly loud clatter that causes a dozen deep fissures to spread in his mind.

He's got ahold of your wrist before you can react, keeping you so physically close to himself that if he took a half step forward you'd be chest to chest. He can smell sugar on your breath, see the red twinge on your tongue from candy you must've had on the way over.

It doesn't even register that his eyes are closed, that your mouth is on his, that his tongue is lapping up the secondhand taste of cherries as it slides across yours and your fingers grasp the rumpled fabric of his shirt. It's like a moment suspended in cut crystal, refracted in a thousand different ways to the outside observer, a million different angles of this one frozen scene, and he wants to hold it forever in his hands.

Hold you forever.

But you pull away and his first instinct is to follow after you, body bending even further to chase your lips as you struggle to catch your breath. Your bodies remain impossibly close as you speak, his eyes never leaving your lips, memorizing the curve of them.

"I don't- I didn't mean-" you're struggling and he can't bear it, can't bear the thought that this one beautiful moment is tainted by the nature of your overall relationship as employees, even worse is that he truly doesn't care. It should scandalize him, shame him in some way, but it doesn't. That fact feels extremely far removed from his current reality and the feeling of even more blood rushing to his lower body.

He cuts you off bluntly. "How much do you know about beast thirens?"

You gape, having been cut off with what is to your view an extremely out of place question but he's hoping you'll follow the thread. "What?"

"How much do you know? Because Rina wasn't exactly... truthful with you." His eyes skirt away from your face but hes committed to telling you what's going on. "I'm not ill, not in the way you're thinking. I'm, well, going through what's called a rut." There's a heavy pause. "The need to... mate."

He cringes internally on the final word, finally meeting your eyes and watching you put it all together. Your own eyes are adorably wide, but you don't pull away from him and that takes him by surprise. He'd figured the second you knew you'd be in a rush to leave, probably drop a resignation call to Victoria Housekeeping on your way home.

But you don't do any of those things, merely taking it in and continuing to let your eyes travel over his unkempt appearance and he's even more aware, if that's possible, of how needy he feels. Any longer without relief and he just might need to take himself to White Waves Hospital. But that's not your problem.

"I mean... That's just a natural thing for you, right? It's not like you're some perv," you laugh nervously, "and maybe- maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you had a little... help?"

His brain feels like a damaged, glitching bangboo. Are you seriously offering this?

"What I'm trying to say is that I- I like you, and I don't care that we kissed. Well, I care but I'm not upset by it. And I'm not upset that you're, like this right now," you gesture with your chin, "and if you need someone then... I can help you with it. If you want." You finish in a rush, clearly embarrassed and something rears its head deep in his stomach.

There's no more room for coherent though as he finds your lips again, nipping at the bottom one before taking advantage of your little gasp to slide his tongue back in your mouth. He turns you slightly, so your back meets the edge of the countertop with his hands massaging at your hips, groping obscenely at your ass. The barrier of your clothes is frustrating, making him growl low in his throat before he's deftly unbuttoning and unzipping them, fingers trembling at you help push them and your underwear down to puddle at your ankles.

You squeal as he lifts you easily to set you atop the counter spreading your legs in his firm grip while your own fingers curl around the marble edge of the counter, gasping as he kisses and sucks against the flesh of your inner thighs as he makes his way towards your pussy. He can smell how aroused you are and it spurs his instincts on, despite the sliver of anxiety working against his lust.

He's marveling at you, sliding two fingers through your wetness, spreading you to see the way you glisten with the slick liquid and he can feel your eyes on him.

"I've, I'm sorry, I've just never been with anyone." The last half of the sentence is heavy on his tongue, one crimson eye shyly avoiding your own before you reach down to cup his face in one hand.

The small smile on your face is sweet, purely gentle and it eases the nerves gnawing at his stomach.

"Never?" He shakes his head and you tilt your head to the side, "Then just watch for a second."

And it's mesmerizing, the way your fingers delicately dip down into your own wetness, dragging up to your clit before your fingers start slowly circling. He watches intently, watching the way your pace slowly builds, your hips twitching ever so slightly at the stimulation before you move back down and slide those two fingers inside yourself.

And the sight is like something religious to him, totally enraptured at the way your pussy swallows the two digits, the way your head tips back and your lips part in a silent sigh. It's not long before the soft squelching sound of your fingers scissoring against your walls reaches his ears, making them flick as he zeros in on it.

With a breathy laugh you pull your hand away but before it gets out of reach he grabs it, bringing your soaked fingers to his mouth before locking eyes with you, tongue tasting every bit of yourself that lingers against the skin.

He thinks your demonstration was a good enough starting point, no longer too nervous as his tongue starts licking long stripes up your pussy and you let out a high pitched sound at the contact. It makes him eager to please, focusing all his attention on licking and sucking at your clit while his fingers find your entrance.

The stretch of you is better than anything his imagination could've conjured up, feeling your walls part around his digits as he gives a few experimental curls and strokes. He can hear you nearly choking on your own noises above him and it sends satisfaction oozing through his body, washing over him like thick drops of syrup.

But he's impatient, whining against your cunt and you seem to know what he needs without him even voicing it. Just another reason to be so enamored with you.

You drag him up to stand, hands urging him to strip and he does so gladly, nearly jumping out of his own skin he's so flush with excitement at having you soaking wet and ready to take him, right there in the middle of his kitchen.

It makes his head spin as his cock springs free, groaning as he feels the air against his overly sensitive girth. Your mouth opens slightly as you take in the sight of him and that earlier shyness returns with a vengeance, but before he can speak your hand wraps around him, barely able to grasp all of him. The surge of pride is something he's entirely unfamiliar with but he relishes in it all the same, desperately wants to please you.

"Just try to start slow, okay?" You say, breath hitching in your throat as you guide the head of his cock through your folds before positioning him at your entrance.

And he takes the lead flawlessly, one hand against the counter to anchor himself and the other gripping your thighs, kneading the soft flesh between his fingers as he pushes in. It's torturous, the howling need to just slam right into you as he feels his head sitting heavy and thick inside you, your breathing already ragged and your eyes fluttering closed.

But he knows this requires patience, for the moment. The last thing he wants to do is hurt you, hurt the trust you've placed in him, so his hips move barely an inch at a time and the feeling of your body reshaping itself around his cock is one hundred times more incredible than just his fingers.

What a pathetic comparison his hand ever was, the real thing will never be beaten out. Your whimpers increase in frequency as the head of him kisses your cervix, his swollen knot nestled tightly between his own body and your slick pussy. As he looks down at your connected bodies he can't help but wonder if you'll even have the ability to take it, but he doesn't get to give it much more thought because you start slowly wiggling your hips, encouraging him to move.

And once again he follows your lead like it was the only role he was meant for, pulling out with agonizing gentleness before pushing himself back inside you and he can't help the way his mouth drops open, the way his eyes screw shut. Does it feel like this for everyone, like they've died on the spot and been given an express ticket to heaven?

He doesn't have the wherewithall to feel any embarrassment at the way he's panting, nearly drooling on you, the way he's keening and growling like some fledgling but you don't seem to mind it. Not with your fingers digging into his fur, your legs loosely locked around his hips, the way you say his name in a half gasp.

His fingers slide down between your bodies as you pull him closer, into a heated kiss made of teeth clacking together and tongues pushing against one another. He swallows your every noise as he starts playing with your clit, just the way he watched you do it earlier. Rubbing sticky little hearts against it and nipping at your lips as your legs jerking, the muscles straining and flexing beneath the skin.

His canines scrape a path from your mouth to your jaw to your throat as his hips pick up speed, jostling your body with so much force your cries take on a higher pitch and your fingers pull at his fur sharply, only adding to the overall sensory delight. He tests your tolerance with his teeth, shallow bites in between sucking on the skin of your throat, groaning as he feels your hand slide up to cup the back of his head, feels the flesh pull taut as you let your head tilt even further to the side.

Giving him permission. His mind is swimming through a black sea of pure instinct, running his tongue over the flesh in silent apology for the pain you'll experience but he won't pass up the opportunity. You're allowing him to indulge, playing to his base instincts. How could he not gobble up the bait? And with that loose thought his canines dig into you, the fine points of them puncturing the skin and a trickle of iron washes over his tongue.

You cry out, pussy immediately squeezing him in a stranglehold at the same time your fingers yank at his scruff but it's not to stop him, it's like the string of a bow being pulled all the way back. Your toes curl in midair, practically sobbing as your hips buck wildly and he thinks this must be it, this must be what a human is like when they cum.

Later he'll examine the fact that you came at exactly the moment he inflicted that little bit of pain on you but for now he's lost in it, hips moving in no particular rhythm anymore as he fucks you through your orgasm, fuck you through the impossible tightness of your cunt, and he can feel it like a second heartbeat fluttering in between your legs as his tongue slides against the blood threatening to drip down to your breast.

And all too soon he feels his balls tightening up, his knot throbbing in time with the pulsing of your cunt and his movements are cruel now, all fueled by pure instinct as he grinds and fucks into you with shameless desperation. His knot needs to be inside you before he cums, he can't spill anywhere but inside you.

And his clumsy, less than elegant method works when he feels that tight ring of muscle at your entrance stretch to its limits and the almost too snug pop of all of himself finally sliding inside. You hiccup on a particularly loud sob as it does, legs snapping against his hips with such finality he doesn't move against your hold, remains standing as his body shakes, his cock twitching as sticky spurts of cum flood your pussy, whining at the way your walls practically suck it all deeper inside, milking him so much it's overwhelming.

It goes on for so much longer than he ever thought possible, the sheer amount of cum making him feel dizzy, like he's lost blood and is teetering on the edge of passing out. But he can't focus on the feeling, instead guiltily kissing every part of your face he can, trying to wipe away the saltwater tracks and then cradling your head against his chest as you bury your face in his fur, feeling the way you're trying to even out your breathing.

You speak before he can, his tongue like a wad of wet cotton in his mouth.

"How- how long are we stuck together?" You manage to force the words out unsteadily, pulling back to meet his gaze before nuzzling your face against his jaw.

His heads still spinning as he answers. "I don't really know," he breathes in harshly, "I'm sorry if its uncomfortable."

He can feel you shake your head. "It's not," your voice becomes shy, still thick with the aftermath of your orgasm, "I like the feeling of you inside me."

He can't help the dopey smile that crosses his face, fingers stroking down your back as he ignores the way his legs shake, the way his knot pulses. When you're no longer tied together he'll need to lay down before he collapses on the spot.

Already that thought invites visions of clutching you to his chest while you straddle his hips, cock thrusting in and out of you at a volatile pace all over again. He'll make it up to you once the fog of lust is lifted, but you most likely won't be leaving this apartment in the coming days.

He'll have to remember to call in for you tomorrow, sure to hear Rinas smug voice on the other end of the line.

[prideprejudce]

im genuinely curious since i keep seeing this opinion, but i rly dont think hotd writing was bad? nothing is perfect but idk, unless someone points to me the times they had shitty writing im having a hard time seeing it. unless i dont actually know what "writing" means here. english is not my first language, i COULD be misinterpreting things lmao. i rly liked how they did things this season, i think it made sense with the last one, this one was just Tenser because at any second the war will reallyyy break out n we dont know when cuz we have two driving forces from opposite sides not wanting that to happen, thats the entire point of s2 i think: establishing that in war there is no clear winner ("strange victory" n all that), that everyone is going to die, that there is no point to any of it theres no point to war at all, that every character is "heroic" and "villainous" in their own right in the right pov. i think it was a fun season to flesh out the characters, have us not feel entirely happy to be fighting for one side cuz theres innocents in both sides but ultimately we all know they will all die and its all for nothing. thats the tragedy of it all imo. i loved it to pieces. i guess id say im sad some characters didnt interact but also i dont see how they would considering how this season went. n also i wanted more rhaena (i do hope she'll have a cool ass role next season, idc idc)

i personally think this season was truly a transition season to full out war. people are pissed because they wanted war to instantly happen after lucerys died last season, but in reality things arent that black and white and i think it would have cheapened the plot to fast forward through the political negotiations and underhanded scheming to try and win without fighting, to just full on nuclear dragon war.

I actually like the idea that this season was like standing on a cliffs edge where one wrong move led to oblivion with millions of people dying and the practical annihilation of half of house targaryen. I'm glad that the writers took the time to emphasize how dire this war could become before barreling us into it. the political battles and moral dilemmas are just as fun to watch as the actual battles

that being said, there are still valid criticisms of the show being brought up too: like the weird pacing and absolute dragging on of daemons harrenhal ghost adventures. on one hand I get it, because in the books daemon just disappears for weeks at a time, and the writers had to do SOMETHING with him this season instead of having him peace out for 7 episodes. but I agree that the harrenhal visions became repetitive, and I'm also not a huge fan of the back to the future magic being shoved in our faces instead of more subtle clues to it

overall, it was a transition season, not the absolute best season of television history, but it's definitely not the worst (and not even CLOSE to being as bad as got s8). I think in modern age media consumption, people now equate "i personally don't like this" to "this is all horrible and the whole show is trash now"

[asta-writes-stufff]

Hii could I request a campbell x reader, meet cute fic? Either pre-, or post-canon would be perfect :)

Thanks so much for the request!! I wrote this with post-canon in mind but I guess you could read it as pre-canon too. Not very edited and Im not the biggest fan of the ending but I still think its ok :)

cw: nothing :)

wc: 849

You hum quietly to yourself as you walk through the small aisles of the record shop you’re in. You’re not really looking for anything specific, just browsing and seeing if anything catches your eye. It’s been a long day at work and you’ve got things to do this afternoon. All you can think about is how much you can’t wait to get home later, throw on a new record, and relax. 

You’re idly flipping through the rock section when you glance up and spot a Queen album on display up on the wall across from you, one you’ve been looking for for at least a few months now. You stare at it, hardly believing you’ve finally found it. It’s like the album is calling out to you, begging you to come over and remove it from its place of honour on the wall. You immediately bee-line for it, speed-walking through a few short aisles, just to poke your head around the corner and see someone gently picking it up from its display stand. 

The man holding the record turns to look at you when you let out a huge sigh. You realise you just did that out loud as he stares at you. He glances between you and the record for a second before holding it out to you. 

“Did you want this?” He asks you, giving you a smile that’d absolutely melt your heart if this record wasn’t on the line right now. You blink at him for a second before snapping back to reality to respond.

“Yeah I did, but you keep it, you got to it first.” You try to laugh gracefully but it just comes out awkward and horribly staccato.

“No, really, you can have it.” He insists, thrusting the record towards you. “I’ve already got the album, I just wanted this particular record.” He waves the record at you. Your eyes are drawn to how the fluorescent lights flickering above you flash off of the plastic wrap of the vinyl. God, you want that record.

You slowly reach out your hand to take it from him, finally processing how handsome he is. Cute hair, pretty eyes, fairly tall too. “If you’re sure…” You say slowly, flicking your eyes from him to the album in your hands. God, it’s almost as pretty as he is. 

“Yeah, o’course. S’all yours.” He chuckles at how awestruck you seem by the vinyl in your hands. “You been looking for this one for a while?” 

“Yeah. I have. Months. Can’t believe I finally found it. Been to every store in this damn city looking for it.” 

“Don’t blame ya, it’s a great album. Always loved Queen.” 

You suddenly remember your manners and look back up from the record in your hands to face him. “Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.” 

He gives you that brilliant smile again and this time it does melt you. 

“So what other bands are you into?” You ask him, desperately trying to prolong this conversation between the two of you. 

~~

You both talk for another ten minutes before you remember you’ve got somewhere to be. God, why do you have to be busy now? When you’ve finally got this album you’ve spent hours and hours searching for and this really cute guy in front of you?

“I should probably get going,” You share hesitantly, “Pretty busy this afternoon. Thanks again so much for letting me have this record, you really don’t know how much this means to me, I mean I’ve spent weeks…” You trail off as you wander towards the checkout counter with him following behind you. 

He smiles at you again, clearing his throat once you get to the counter. “Before you go, I was wondering if maybe I could get your number? You’re really sweet and pretty and we seem to have a lot in common and-”

“Yes!” You cut him off, immediately cringing at how eager you sounded but brushing it off quickly. You scan your surroundings for a second, wondering where and with what you can write your number down before he’s gently pushing a pen into your fingers and holding the back of his hand out for you to write on. You give him a quick grin before turning your attention to his hand and writing out your phone number for him. 

The store clerk notices you at the counter and rushes over to check you out, and soon the record is finally, officially yours. You thank the clerk excitedly and turn your attention back to the man in front of you.

“Hear from you soon…?” You ask him, trailing off, realising you don’t even know his name. 

“Oh, Campbell. Bain.” His face flushes just enough for you to notice (and swoon) before he’s asking you your name. 

You tell him your name, giving him one last smile and a wave before pushing the door to the small shop open and stepping outside, taking in a deep breath of the fresh air. That has to have been your most successful trip to a record shop ever.

[sari-artworks-schyzotypalmind]

Hot take regarding Heihachi Mishima coming back.

I know I said my page was going to be art focused from now on but I need to get this out of my chest.

I´m a veteran Tekken player, since 3 . I basically consumed any Tekken related media too (the mangas, comic books, the animated movie, the CGI movie, the horrible live action one, the anime on Netflix, etc)

Tekken 8 for me was a perfect conclusion for the story. I know that Kaz and Jun had an open ending but it was ok, she is going to take him to wherever she wants, maybe to retire, heal, you get it.

But... the whole clash between Kaz and Heihachi was CLOSED, ended in Tekken 7 in a very emotional manner, it was peak.

In Tekken 8, the final confrontation between Kaz and Jin was INCREDIBLE. I got shivers with Jun stands, T3 Jin theme ost, Angel Jin, etc...

It was cool as it is. It is true that Reina was very disappointing lore wise, I thought she was going to play a bigger role but it was, ok I guess??? leaving an opening to Tekken 9 as her as the main villain probably.

Now, after FINALLY progressing the story for all our main characters we get THE STUPID GRANDPA BACK. Seriously, am I the only one pissed??? it hasn´t even a WHOLE GAME without him. It makes zero sense, it destroys everything that happened during the climax of Tekken 7 and 8. We go back to the starting point. Is getting BORING and tiresome.

I get it... main Heihachi players missed him, cool. MAKE HIM A FLASHBACK.

Heihachi got his own flashback in Tekken 7 along with Kazumi and even though she was dead the whole time, she was still playable. They could have done the same with him.

Kazuya didn´t get ANY flashback of him and Jun in Tekken 2. Why???? Do we even know his aspirations appart from "muh control of the world" . NO. NOTHING.

They could have also bring Jinpachi back as a playable character in a flashback mode telling us about Kazuya childhood. But no... we got CANONICALLY GRANDPA RESURRECTED AGAIN.

Also... isn´t it misogynistic as well???? Jun was missing for +20 years in real time, she didn´t appear canonically since Tekken 2 and the old fart comes back not even one game later.

Same with Kazumi... she HAS THE DEVIL GENE. Heihachi only broke her neck ONCE and she can´t come back ???? COME ONE BAMCO.

Jin and Kazuya have died multiple times and survived others because the Devil Gene allows them to but not for Kazumi???? The true inheritor and probably pure blood devil gene user. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

Bruh... honestly. it pisses me off.

On the other hand... Heihachi gets thrown into a volcano, no human being can survive the erosion and melting of the body because of the lava.

Also, I´m pretty sure Heihachi didn´t gave her a proper shinto burial. She came out of a volcano in arcade mode, so Im 100% sure he just tossed her body along with the tiger into the lava. According to Shintoism, if someone doesn´t get a proper burial, they can come back as a vengeful ghost. So she can be brought back as well, not only as an evil ghost but also BECAUSE SHE HAD THE FUCKING DEVIL GENE.

I love Tekken lore to the core and Namco has just killed any progression the story had.

[whumpshaped]

hey i’m really sorry if this is dumb but do you ever feel bad about enjoying whump? if so, how do you deal with it? i’m having a hard time with liking it. i love reading it but it occasionally makes me feel like a terrible person

its not dumb! i have some disorders that make it hard for me to feel bad abt stuff just for moral reasons alone, but i do get the terrible feeling sometimes when im afraid others will think im a terrible person lol if that makes any sense- so yeah i get the shame around it. i was lucky enough to be the quirky fun guy anyway so having slightly stranger interests wasnt a big deal for me.

this got very long bc i always have many thoughts on this

let me just start this by saying u totally dont have to feel bad for liking it. at all. everybody tends to like some form of whump, even if they dont call it that. the middle aged christian woman reading her 100th romance novel packed with fucking angst is an avid enjoyer of emotional whump in my book. and the guy who jokes about whump enjoyers being crazy and then turns around and watches marvel movies with blood and beat up heroes in it, well-

humans are just fascinated with pain. physical, emotional, all of it. it's just how we are, i think. we love to explore pain in fantasy, through characters separate from us, while we sit in our room comfortably (controlled danger! like rollercoasters). it can be cathartic. it can be how we find and understand ourselves. it can be comforting to know hey, this character went through something like that, that means the author must have some experience with it. there's at least one other human who gets me.

enjoying/reading/writing whump can be a perfect outlet, like hitting a punching bag repeatedly. it can be how someone digests their own trauma. it can just be a kink thing. it doesn't have to have deep moral things attached to it, sometimes seeing fictional characters hurt just tickles the brain and that's that. it doesn't matter, because it's all fictional, it doesn't hurt anyone. unless your preferred media is like, literal hate speech and propaganda against real life people, (in which case it DOES hurt ppl), there's literally nothing wrong with looking at a character being beaten and going "hey, thats cool".

also i will never not say this but even the fucken bible is straight whump and no one will ever change my mind. i tried to be a good christian and what did i find? whump.

also, there's like... a huge portion of people who read whump for the comfort of it. yes the character goes through shit, yes it's horrible, but guess what, they come out on the other side unquestionably changed but still worthy of recovery. they find peace, they heal, they find friends and family, they're comforted and listened to. that's something a lot of people read whump for. there's a reason it's called hurt/comfort. and there's also a very good post about how so many of us read it because the whumpees' trauma is always acknowledged. maybe not in the story, but we as readers understand that they went through some shit, and thus their trauma is always validated in some way. that can be a comfort as well, in a world where so many people's issues get brushed under the rug and ignored and overlooked and straight up invalidated.

but even if you're not into the comfort aspect (which i wasnt for a long time!!!!! i was strictly here for the hurt!!!!!!) you're not some sort of monster for it. i'd say quite the contrary. i'd say if you regularly engage with media like this, where the character's emotions are laid out so bare, and explored so deeply, you're more in tune with your own emotions too. i couldve punched holes in walls like some people i know (i have anger issues), but instead i grabbed my laptop and wrote about a character being beaten to a pulp. no damage to person or property. done. others read it and enjoyed it, and i even got serotonin from likes and reblogs, which lifted my mood, so that was a whole net positive.

seriously look at the most popular media too. it's whump. always has been. a good friend of mine whos a little weirded out by some of the gore i write is OBSESSED with game of thrones for example. and he recommended it to me because hey i love bloody stuff dont i? and i loved the torture scenes and he loved to hate and be enraged and a little grossed out by them. we enjoyed the series together. neither of us was terrible for it.

all this to say, you're not the odd one out. even if your interests count as more "taboo", like some of mine, unless you go out there and punch someone in the face, youre good in my books. and again, even punching someone in the face can be morally neutral or positive between consenting adults so. HUMANS JUST ENJOY EXPLORING PAIN. THATS MY HOT TAKE FOR TODAY.

thank u for coming to my ted talk

[slaasherslut]

I need to do a little rant because im losing my mind over this and im frustrated. Ill probably delete it later

So the job im working right now isnt permanent but im a permanent employee. I work a specific job in a factory in the afternoon shift but that shift doesnt run the entire year so im laid off like 1/3 of the year. Two weeks ago I saw a job opening in another location for a job thats perfect for someone in my position. Its basically doing inventory and id be guaranteed work all year round. I thought it would be perfect for me to move up and get better work. I applied for it immediately. Days go by and I hear nothing. No calls, no emails, nothing at all. I was confused since I was told everyone interal was being interviewed. I didnt go to work today because i was at home with cramps and my mom came home (she does the same thing i do except on the morning shift) and she was told they had be interviewing for that position already for quite some time, some people already having second interviews. From what ive heard from her, the person doing the hiring was calling the managers of all the internal people applying. I dont know why they did that, it should be none of their business, but they did it anyway. My manager obviously said something to them so they wouldnt interview me. I was the only internal applicant that wasnt interviewed. My guess is that i was needed where i am now and she cant have me leave. My manager has a habit of sabotaging peoples job opportunities and im not surprised she did it to me. I even laughed to my mom telling her "im the only person on my shift who can do my job. I bet im not gonna get it because of that. My manager will make sure of that." And look what happened. Im just so frustrated. The months that im laid off i struggle to pay my bills so i need a new job. Ive been applying for a year and a half with almost nothing to show for it. Then an internal job shows up that is perfect for me, more hours, and better pay. But my manager is too selfish and she ruined this one single chance i had in this horrible job economy. I havent had many chances, no one has from what i can tell. Im so mad i dont even wanna go to work tomorrow. This is the same manager thats bullied me since the day i started and ive made so many complaints and nothing has happened. Im just so fed up and im so tired. But i have no other options. I just know when i complain about this tomorrow that im probably gonna have a break down over it. Im so sick of this.

[petitprincess1]

Ive been following Viv for many years now, and im used to tuning out all the drama her parasocial hatedom keeps starting, but man its grating on my nerves this time

Everytime someone cried wolf, its turned out to be nothing, I dont believe shit anymore. Its so easy to fake stuff and start rumors on the internet

And i cant emphazise enough how little i care if Vivienne Medrano’s been a jerk in her private interactions sometimes. She’s not my friend, i dont know her, and no one is a perfect human being in any case.

The people who obsess over judging a stranger’s personality like that are creepy as all heck and clearly just self-righteous bullies. Viv falls short of being a paragon, so she must be a horrible, abusive person.

You ask me, Vivziepop’s been an acceptable target for so long, she keeps attracting new assholes looking for someone they can put down, either for to gain clout or for personal satisfaction

Same here. Who gives a shit if she does talk crap about some indie projects in private. First of all, it's private. Second of all, why is she supposed to support or live every single one of them? If you ask me, you're being disingenuous if you had nothing but positivity to say. It'd be one thing if she were making hateful tweets, but she doesn't.

Plus, EVERYONE talks shit about pieces of media or even people in private. That's not something to be judged on. If that's the case, then I guess almost everyone deserves to be crucified for the sin of having opinions. Which is funny considering how antis talk about them being free to have opinions, but I guess not Viv.

The allegations surrounding her are so obviously lies or blown out of proportion that it's baffling that anyone can believe it. Excluding the antis/crits that are children.

[boy-above]

on this pride month i've decided that the current closest descriptor for my gender is...

i'm gonna do a whole lot of talking abt my gender and stuff, honestly it's mostly for myself to organize my thoughts but i do like talking abt myself sometimes so if you read, thank you i guess

before i figured out i was a boy i ID'd as nonbinary for several years, i was hesitant to ID as masculine because at the time the community was so drenched with radfem ideology that myself and a lot of other transmascs were afraid to come out / even think about exploring masculinity because we were constantly being told how evil men were all the time. so instead i went through like, so many nonbinary labels, but none of them really suited me, i discovered. agender, bigender, genderfluid, i tried a lot of them. the thing is that i knew i didn't want to be a Girl, but was very hesitant to consider i was a Boy because of the previously mentioned radfem rhetoric being spread. this isn't a post to talk about that though, you've heard a lot about that from me already lmao. it's just an important component of the struggles with gender i had growing up.

anyway, once i finally accepted i was a boy, i was excited. i checked the boxes for a trans man, i wanted a dick (and am still mad i don't have one), i wanted he/him pronouns, i was comfortable being called a boy, etc. and i still want all of those things, so why am i starting to question the trans man label?

i think mostly it comes down to how my gender has been shaped by societal and environmental expectations. i have gender dysphoria but not in an entirely "traditional" way. i want a dick, i want a flat chest, i want a deeper voice. but im also gender nonconforming, and have no interest trying to do traditionally masculine things to "fit in" with cis men. i don't think femininity is some horrible thing to be avoided, i like a lot of feminine things and don't think so many things should be gendered in the first place. i don't think trying hormones would fix me because there's other ways i Don't want to look like a man. if anything i would say Nothing can truly fix my dysphoria because i don't want to look like Anything. there is no perfect me i can envision in my head, if anything i don't even want to look human; i don't even want to be perceived. there's also parts of me that no amount of surgery to fix, im only 4'9 for example, and even cis men get berated for being short let alone trans men.

that's why i've only told my immediate family, my friends, and my doctor that i'm a boy. i never plan of publicly coming out. on the rare occasion i do, i settle with they/them instead of my preferred he/him because it's just easier that way. you get a lot of laughing and eyerolling as a feminine looking person if you try to use he/him. ive been trans for so many years but i can never truly escape the chance that people might perceive me as a "trender" (hate that word, gag) because i simply don't pass. and then of course there's my parents who refuse to use he/him and will only use they/them. they know i want he/him but they won't even try. they're just like "you can't really expect us to call you a boy."

i have so much sympathy for fellow closeted people. the community never considers you and it ends up being a lonely place. you don't fit in with cis people but other trans people don't want you. once i read a piece called "i am a trans woman, i am in the closet, i am not coming out." and i can't even tell you how important that writing was to me. i read it at just the right time, years ago when i think i really needed it. it's one of the only things that made me feel like staying in the closet was an option. that i can only be out where i feel safe.

i've questioned before if my gender nonconformity and the way people treat non-passing individuals is the true reason i've become skeptical of my trans man identity. i think most likely it is, i think that if we lived in a world where it was perfectly socially exceptable to be a feminine trans man and people in public would accept me and treat me like a boy, i'd have no problem saying "i'm a trans man", but we don't live in that world. the world we're in right now has no room for people like me, and it's something i've had to accept. another thing worth mentioning is that i don't even really like the word 'man' being applied to me, i just felt like i had to use it because some people treat trans boys badly if they prefer 'boy' over 'man'. but i like being a boy. the word boy suits me better. the word man just doesn't seem applicable to me. i'm not masculine enough and the word just feels kinda wrong in my brain, the same way being called "handsome" does. i want to be cute, and calling me handsome would just be inaccurate. do you get what im saying?

but anyway, i think demiboy suits me because its more 'loose' than trans man for lack of a better word. its less specific and i think thats what i need right now. im a boy, but calling myself binary doesnt quite feel right. calling myself nonbinary also doesnt feel right though. like i said i ID'd as nonbinary for several years so i have no problem with the label in general, it just doesnt feel right when applied to me personally. it's kinda weird to describe, i know demiboy is not a binary identity, therefore is by definition nonbinary, but the word nonbinary itself just doesnt vibe with me, so i guess i would prefer not to call myself nonbinary??? i dont know how to describe it, it's just a labels thing. because like i said, i feel like trans boy isnt an entirely wrong way to describe me Either. im rambling now because i know my labels problem doesnt make sense. anyway uh yeah. i'm a demiboy. and for anyone who didn't see the post i made a while back, i use he/him and sometimes it/its. unenthusiastically throws a handful of confetti

[esosage]

Okay im going to go on a little rant here, so forgive me if this is messy, but i NEED robotnik to be in the third sonic movie and let me explain why.

(Also slight spoilers for SA2 i guess.)

Anyways, i mainly want him in there for the sheer amount of character developmwnt that robotnik gets in SA2. Like up untill now, robotnik hasnt really had any personal stakes in the fights other than his pride and ego. But SA2 changes all of that, as its the introduction of not only his grandfather, his cousin (aka maria), but also shadow who is technically his uncle but more on that later.

Its bassically an introduction to robotniks family, which is immensly important to robotnik as a character because hes an orphan. Which brings into question how hed react to this. Robotnik, who ussually shuns any form or humanity or family, now learns that he actually has one. A family. People related to him by blood. But their dead. And the ironic part is THEY WERE KILLED BY THE GOVERNMENT HE WORKED FOR! The last remaining family members he had, were killed by the very same people he spent YEARS of his life working for. Now would he feel about that?

Robbed maybe. Angry. Sad. Or maybe hed try to ignore it in an attempt to not have to confront the human parts of himself. Because family is a sore spot for robotnik as he is an orphan, and often times we see his most emotional reactions being when hes talking about his family. But robotnik hates emotions, viewing them as horribly human, so when hes met with this side of this family, that he could have known and talked to and bonded with. Something he had longer for, for years as a child, taken away and killed by the people he worked for, that has got to cause some reaction. And how he deals with that emotion would be immensly interesting to watch, as hes bassically forced to confront this very human side of himself that hes never really had to deal with before. Or at least for a long time.

I honestly think robotnik would be a rollercoaster of emotions, angry and sad at the loss, yet trying to ignore and supress that greif in turn for keeping himself in his own eyes as perfect. Infalluable. Because admiting he cares about this, is admitting some part of him is human, and some part of him can be hurt and i think that would terrify him. So hed avoid it, obviously.

But then there comes the best part, shadow. Shadow is one of robotniks last LIVING family members, as hes technically robotniks uncle. (Because hes gerald robotniks son, so that would make him robotniks uncle.) And i find it intteresting how robotnik would view shadow. Does he know how realated shadow is to his family from the start, or does he learn as the movie goes on?

Lets say he learns as he goes on because i find that the most interresting. I think at first robotnik would see shadow as nothing but a mere weapon to be ussed against his enemys. After all, thats kinda what shadow was made for (kinda). But as the story goes on and as robotnik learns more about him, perceptions might change as he realizes just how connected shadow is to him. As shadow is his last surviving family member, to the family he once pressumed as dead. Meaning shadow is the only link he has left to his family. The last surviving connection he has to his relatives.

And how would he react to that? Would he ask questions, wanting to at least feel connected to the family that was robbed from him. Want to know more about the family he never met. Or would he shun shadow? Seeing him as sort of a physicall manifistation of his humanity, as shadows very existance forces him to confront things hes never had to, nor wanted to confront before. Shadows bassically the shadow of robotniks past, of his family, and when the doctor is faced with so much emotion and possible greif about his family whenever he looks at shadow. Would he push him away in an attempt to avoid those emotions? And to him, to cut out the last peice of humanity he has left, because robotnik sees the emotions he has and is forced to face about his dead family as painfully human, as vulnerable. And he hates that. And in attempt to cut that out of himself, hed try to cut shadow out, to push them away so he doesnt have to deal with that confrentation of his past. And it really gives them an interesting dynamic.

Like would robotnik try to push shadow away but eventually cave and begin to try and bond and discover more about this peice of his past he didnt know about? And if so, what would cause him to cave and try to bond with that?

Well maybe its his grandfather. Because in the games, robotnik is shown to have a major admiration for his grandfather. Like he is the only person robotnik probobly, genuinly, praises ever to the point where he strives to be like him. And what would happen if that part of robotniks character transfered over to the movie version of robotnik? Would he admire his grandfather at first, secretly liking the connection he feels to his long gone family member (despite him never admitting it) because of how just similar they are? Would he praise him just as much as his game counterpart? Would he be the one part of robotniks history that he likes? Would he be the one part in robotniks past/family that robotnik views as good. Kind of like a beacon of light in the rest of robotniks mucky past. Something to strive twards, to emminate. Would he cling on to the image of his grandfather, because he views him as such? And how much would the fact that shadow is his grandfathers creation effect their how robotnik views shadow and treats him? How does robotnik feel about gerald as a whole?

And would his admiration for gerald be influenced by the other stuff going on, outside of his emotion termoil. Because robotniks ego is also on the line in the third movie.

Because at that point robotnik has already lost to sonic twice. And as a narccisist who prides himself on being perfect, how could he take that? Maybe he denies being defeated by sonic, saying it was really a draw since he almost killed sonic in the second movie. Or maybe hed be absolutely vistiouse. Maybe hed go a bit crazy. Throwing everything he can at the headgehog in a despret attempt to salvage what little bits he has of his ego left. In an attempt to feel superior again, to feel in control. Maybe he does both? Like he viehemently denies sonics win, but deep down, in his heart of hearts, he knows sonic won and he just cant take that. Because sonic winning means that hes better tham him, and if someone is better than him that means hes not perfect. And robotnik had bassically built himself up on being perfect so thats like a slap to the face to him, twice.

Which this combined with the family issues might cause him to go on a downwards spiral. Viehently denying and bottling up his emotions as he despretly tries to find a way to salvage his ego. To convince himself that hes not a failure, or what he views as a failure. Trapping himself in a web of lies just to keep his mental health a float, which shadow breaks sometimes as he forces robotnik to conftront all the emotions he has about his family that hes activly avoiding.

Which i think leads to two things.

The first being him pushing shadow away in order to avoid his feelings and the second one clinging to his grandfathers image out of desperation.

I mean robotniks at rock bottom right now wether he admits it or not, and his grandfather might be the last beacon of hope he has to reclaiming who he was. Maybe he views his grandpa as the end goal, that when he is exactly like his grandfather he'll be fine. That when he becomes like him, maybe things will go back to normal. Maybe he could feel like himself again, rather than the failure he innevitiabbly feels like.

Maybe its that despret idolazation that causes him to follow his grandfathers plan to use the eclipse cannon. Beliving that it was a gift from his grandfather to him, to help him reclaim his rightfull place. The eclipse cannon, and his plan to use it, giving him one last shred of hope that he can still win. That he isnt failing, and he isnt a failure... only for the broadcast of his grandfather, the man he adored and idolized, the one part of robotniks family that he didnt scorn or push away, to play out as his grandfather reveals that he intends to destroy the entire planet. And robotnik is helpess as he watches. Destroyed as he watches all the blind trust he put into his grandfather, that he probobly put into anyone ever, completly shatter.

And honestly, i think this might be the catalist that causes robotnik to explode. That causes all of the trapped that he had been bottñing up for years, probobly decades even, to just burst out. With him forced to be vulnerable, forced to confront the feelings that hed been running from for so long, at the most innconvinient time possible.

And even worse, he might be forced to cry infront of sonic, infront of his enemies, and maybe infront of everyone. Which is the worst part to robotnik. For the man who has refused any sort of human connection for years, is suddenly forced to be very vulnerable and very emotion, possibly in front of his greatest enemy no less. That had got to be terrifying to robotnik. Having a full mental breakdown after so long of covering up his emotions as an attempt to seem perefect, under the eyes of everyone around him. Its bassically robotniks worst nightmare come true.

And if somehow he manages to pick the peices of himself back up to help stop his own gradfather, hes going to have to work with sonic. Which is basically salt into his already gapping wound. Forced to bear the most vulnerable parts of him on display to sonic and then forced to work with him. The one, which he views, as the catalist of his downward spiral.

And then shadow dies. Well maybe he lives in the end of the third movie, (it hasnt come out yet by the time im righting this in november) but if wwre going off of the SA2 story line, then shadow dies. And robotnik is forced to watch. Watch as the only family member he ever put his blind trust, and possibly love, into betray him to destroy the world.. and forced to watch as the last remaining connection, the only person who could tell him what they were like, their habbits, who they even were, dies. Dies saving the world that shunned robotnik for so long, that left him out to dry. And robotnik is cant to anything but watch. Hes helpless.

Left to pick up the peices of himself as he grapples with the greif of his idol betraying him, and his last surviving family member finnally being put six feet deep. Thankfully he has stone there to help him through it.

I could probobly write more about this, as i have alot of thoughts. The main two being robotniks morality, and his relationship to shadow and how it could develop throughout the story. As there is alot more things i wannted to get into about them, especially about how hed feel at his grandfather trying to ending the world, and the parrallels between him and shadow. But this is long enough so ill leave it here.

Sorry for any grammer mistakes btw as this was really more of a rant than anything else.

[actuallyitsstar]

oh my god tumblr is not a functional website and it ate my next two drafted asks so prepare to get tagged in textposts but @brambleberrycottage sent The Mentalist and/or Person of Interest for the fandom ask game:

✨ send me a fandom and i'll answer with the following!

for person of interest:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

↣ very tough choice but i am gonna have to go with shaw for this one. my second choice probably would be reese tho- but i have to go by what ao3 tags i filter the most 😭

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

↣ BEAR THE DOG.....OBVIOUSLY....... akjdhdjfhf but for real it is probably finch. finch rly is So Shaped to me. i do not want anything bad to happen to him Ever. Protect At All Costs

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

↣ FUSCO. FUSCO IS SUCH AN UNDERRATED FAVE. theres like 10 fics out there about my man fusco and ive reread all of them 100 times aldjfkfhjfgjgj this man just shows up to work every day and tries his best and he gets dragged into some of the craziest world-altering conspiracies known to man and for what ??? he just wants to come home to his son every day. but he cares about people and his friends and the world his son grows up IN, and thats why he sticks by the others no matter what he gets put thru. also he is just very funny and relatable at times akdhdjfhf

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

↣ harper!!! very much obscure but she has a cute lil arc that feels Meaningful and has such a fun energy and she has such an ~ outcome ~ (i will not spoil in case anyone who has not seen this show is thinking of seeing it) and tbh i want to learn everything about her

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

↣ elias. he is very problematic. very controversial. horrible villain crimelord etc etc. but isnt it interesting how this show plays with morality? how much nuance there is? how you slowly learn that finch is right- that there are no heroes or villains, just people doing the best they can??? elias is a terrible person that you would never want to meet in real life but hes MY terrible person you would never want to meet in real life.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

↣ this is reese hands down. sorry not sorry to the traumatized man but i do kind of enjoy you getting more traumatized

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

↣ i guess john greer ???? im not sorry, forget everything i said about nuance hes a villain akdhfdjkfhfj he is the worst im joking but if i have to pick anyone its him

for the mentalist:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

↣ its jane. of course its jane. what we have learned about me is i am always stanning traumatized over confident (often middle aged middle aged) men in problematic career paths with emotional issues 😭 its embarrassing how consistent i rly am tbh lmao. but HES SO INTERESTING. HES SO TRAGIC. HES SO MULTIFACETED. i could probably write 600 dissertations about him

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

↣ lisbon is my girl i love her so much i will not take any notes on this she is MY five foot nothing cop with anger management issues and i WOULD die for her. shes probably my height irl but she is !!!! small. i love her

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

↣ cho is so underrated !!!!! he is there from start to finish and he gets his own arcs and his own story and he's level-headed and in charge but he's not emotionless and he's not perfect, he's very good at what he does but he makes mistakes too and he's mature enough to own up to them. his realism and commitment is bracing and reliable and brings such a steady element to the show. couldnt do it without him!!

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

↣ she's really not even on screen for more than like 0.1 seconds of flashback but !!! ANGELA JANE. i know we don't get to know much in the way of cannonical characterization but i have read a lot of fics about her. i think the most influential has to be boy wonder, which is a wonderful how-angela-and-young-patrick-met fic unfortunately trapped on the horrible formatting of fanfiction dot net, but every time i think of angela i think of this fic and it very deeply informed my love for her character.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

↣ probably laroche. deeply weird man but he just wanted to go home to his little figurines and his fluffy dog. what more could he ask for. very creepy vibe but he did his job well and he came around in the end. i would love to know what sort of life made this man happen. i think about the iconic theater episode with him every day.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

↣ aaaaa once again its jane im so sorry sir i just find your trauma entertaining !!!!!

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

↣ probably bertram because i just think he was way scarier than the sherriff sorry sljfkfjfjg

[gryphis-eyes]

⊙ Nul ne perd qu'autrui ne gagne.

..... The Emperor

Welcome to the one card three ways challenge made by @neptunes-sol-angel 🌹 honestly this challenge is exactly what I needed to get back on pac and im so happy to come back here ! The card I picked was The Emperor reversed when I got the card I had a flash of a lot of a kinda dramatic images like a kingdom falling, castle on fire, fallen king or tyrant. At first I blamed it on game of thrones but I kept thinking about this even during the next day where I started working so yeah here we go on a dramatic fallen kingdom pick a card. I’d like to state that I had the help of a lovely spirit so credit to her 🌹I truly sense that this reading is going to be about slaying your ennemies and get your power back.

【Extra note before publishing : some messages might be brutal be sure to not read if you’re truly in a bad mood】

Masterlist ◇ Paid Readings

◇ Pile 1

For you, the emperor reversed talks about heriting of an autority figure’s toxic traits and repeating it. There are two scenarios and some of you might be in both or one echoes to the other ;

- since someone opressed you now you became the opressor toward someone else or even yourself by letting you fall into self destructive behaviors. You’re now a tyrant just like that person was.

- for the second one you might act like or even tricked yourself into thinking that you don’t have any power. You let people step on you, you let them treat you like shit and just smile back at them thinking ”oh it’s what I deserve because I suck”. I can guess that you probably talk really badly about yourself in general not in a pick me way but in a ”I suck look I suck” way.

The two scenarios are damn toxic and you need to seriously look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are not useless , you don’t suck you need to exclude those behavior from your life that does suck and are useless. You need to assume that you are the one building your own life, sure you can ask for help sometimes but the big part of the job will be made by you only. Not everyone wants you dead, not everyone is here to harm you the world isn’t against you, no your guides don’t think you’re some stupid human, they never did.

Here is where to start ; Have some respect for yourself.

◇ Pile 2

You are lost in a storm of chaos and let it put you down too many time, for most of you, you might even just gave up on the idea of having a ”good life”. You might have experienced a lot of loss and failed project now you’re left alone in the dark with ruins and crumbs. Remember our world was created after a big explosion, after chaos comes the void, the ”nothing” and from nothing life is created. Yes it is an horrible situation to be in I totally am with you and you are right you need to takes a break in order to make everything calm again but after this calm you’ll need some time to think about what do you want your world to be like ? What do you want your life to look like ? Write everything down and truly think about it. I also got the advice that when writing this dream life relationships need to be the last topic you need to think about so you are sure to not make your world revolve around others. Imagine your perfect day, your perfect look, your perfect home, your perfect job so you put yourself first and be in phase with this energy and then you can look at other people but now you won’t search satisfaction from people but pure and genuine connection that benefit both of you. Remember chaos don’t happen just in order to destroy you because it’s evil, it happen so things that are stagnant move and so you can create a new foundation.

◇ Pile 3

You are afraid of your own power, you refuse to just think about the idea of having a full potential... but my dear that’s something everyone have there is no talent or choosen one in this world there are only people who chosed to put effort into their potential. Yes the beginning is very hard but of course it’s hard you can’t get things just because you want it. Yes that artist got a nice style and sell their art but what do you imagine ? They woke up one day and say ”hmmm I think im going to be an artist” and boom talent came out of nowhere. Oh no it’s years of training, years of burn out, years of doubts and fears of not thinking you took the good path. I also heard ”spirit or anything you believe in won’t do the job for you, you’re not a baby”. All of that doesn’t mean you have to kill yourself with work either. Your whole message just mean ”move yourself,get up and go for it or stay where you are”, you’re not the one to be blame for failing something however you are the one to be blame for not trying again and letting hardship swallow you. Remember that you have power, try to find the source of it , what makes you feel powerful what inspire you to keep going ? You got everything you need in your heart you just need to listen to yourself for once.

⊙

[obey-me-disaster]

Hey, its me, the anon who requested the choking kink shit.

I totally didn't just read it like two minutes ago and immediately try to think of something funny to say.

Btw thats some really good writing, even if its crack. Good job!

Anyways while im off to cry about graduation, lemme drop another pesky little thought here.

Mc cooks henry 2.0 to eat. Probably gonna share it with beel too. Leviathans gonna have to find another Henry to be his pet, or not.

Take that as you will. Thank you.

How does that even happen???

Tbh Beel wouldn't even need for that fish to be cooked, he would eat it raw. For the sake of making things worse, I am gonna change it to MC feeding Henry to Levi <3

I guess Leviathan x gn!MC???

TW:small description of panic attack on Levi's part

MC cooks Henry 2.0

"I swear I put that damned fish around here, it couldn't have grown legs and run off...I hope." Shaking their head to get the stupid image of a fish running away, MC closed not so gently, the freezer's door. They have planned to surprise Levi with a special dish he has been talking about from 'Food Fights' but they were missing the main ingredient, the fish.

They have bought the fish a few days ago and tried to hide it away, so none of the brothers could find it, but it seems their hiding spot was no match to a hungry Beel. None of the brothers cooked anything fish related, so the only resonable conclusion was that Beel ate the fish during one of his nights raids.

Putting their head in their hands MC couldn't help but let out a groan while racking their brain for a solution. "I've already set up and prepared everything else the dish might, I can't just put them away!" The whole situation was soul crushing. What was supposed to be a nice surprise turned into disappointment. "I can't just put them away while I go to buy a new fish, Beel might eat these ingredients as well." MC kept on whining about their situation, no longer trying to think of a solution.

"If only I could make a fish appear..." Stopping all together, MC looked down at their hands. "I may actually be able to do that, I have magic after all, so it's worth a shot." Taking a deep breath and closeing their eyes, they tried to come up with a spell on the spot. "Spirit of water, heed my call and give me one of your sea creatures. One as such that would make the Avatar of Envy happy. In the name of the sorcerer MC, make it so!"

When they opened their eyes they saw that not only did the spell give them a fish, but it was already prepared to be cooked too! Letting a sigh of relief, MC went straight to cooking it, without trying to figure out why the fish seemed so 'familiar'. They didn't have enough time for that, time was working against them at the moment. Levi could appear in any moment to start talking about the latest anime he has seen.

The whole cooking process went according to plan, everything came out more than perfect. The smell was mouth watering, just looking at it one knew the dish would be worth dying for. Despite being proud of their achievement, MC couldn't shake the feeling of impending doom, but they attribute it to their fear of Beel coming to eat it.

"MC WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENED!!" Levi's horrified scream could be heard throughout the house. He looked like someone just stole his whole Ruri Chan collection. Tears were running down his face and his knees looked like they were about to give out. MC seeing him in such a sorry state rushed pick him up and put him on one of the chairs in the kitchen. Nothing a little spell for strenght couldn't do.

By the looks of it, Levi was having a full blown panic attack. Every time he would try to explain what happened he would get choked up. After what felt like an eternity, MC was able to get Levi to finally calm down. Tears were still running down his face but at least he was able to talk. "I am horrible, I the worst friend out there, I should just get locked up in my room and never come out!" MC couldn't help but sit in shock at seeing Levi act like that. Sure, he often said self depricating things, but this time felt different. "What happened? What made you think that?"

Levi looked at MC while trying to wipe his tears away and failing. "Henry 2.0 RAN AWAY! I am such an awful friend that fish managed to run away from me, can you believe that?!" MC freezed on the spot and had a horrifying revelation. Suddenly they understood why the fish looked so 'familiar' but how were they supposed to explain to Levi that they have just cooked one of his best friends?

While MC was deep in thought about how would they go explaing the whole situation to Levi, the avatar of envy noticed the food that MC prepared. "Is that...is that the recreation of one of the dishes from 'Food Fights'?"

If God looked down on MC and saw the look on their face, even with all the knowledge and words in the history of humanity, he could still only describe them as a deer caught in headlights. "Yeah..." MC trailed off while trying to come up with an excuse on why a meal containing a fish, sat so nicely in the kitchen just as his own fish 'ran away'. "...I was trying to recreate it just for you, since you've talked about it so much, but seeing the current situation, maybe we can focus on something else."

MC tried to approach Levi so they could push him out of the kitchen but he stopped them. "I was already a bad friend to Henry to the point he ran away. I don't want to risk losing you too by ignoring all the effort you put into this surprise." Grabbing a fork and a knife he started to dig in.

MC wanted to say something, anything to him. He was basically eating his best friend, but looking at him, in that moment, they have realized that they will need to take this secret to their grave. No way he would let Levi know that they have cooked one of his best friend. And especially, they will not let him know, under any circumstances, that the phrase 'At least they will be together from now on' passed through their head.

[tstwitterupdates]

I feel like (imo from being a creative and having life get in the way) Thomas plotted out s2 and how it was supposed to go a long time ago and then his whole fricken world changed. Cause like, first it was the production company, then Joan and Talyn, then several health scares, then a relationship and a breakup, and, obviously, and entire pandemic and a hurricane ruining part of his studio. And that's just the stuff externally. So I get why it's taking so long, cause he wants to make it perfect, and he can't change his plans for s2 at this point, because it will ruin basically everything. Plus, with Into the Unknown and the among us videos, right, it's clear he's trying his best to put content out there. So I can understand where he is.

I think I'm just frustrated because I miss when we had stuff like Thomas and Friends content, like Real or Fake Anime or Joystick Joyride and stuff. I feel like the Sides/Cartoon Therapy wait would be less painful if we were getting a bit more content on that end, you know? Cause while it's been a long time, I still feel like it would've mitigated the pain seeing him a little more frequently. Plus, I think Roleslaying would feel less odd if there was other content going out around as often as the once-a-week uploads for a month or so, rather than it being basically all the content we see from him, now.

I know Thomas is also getting to a better place with bulk recording an the like, and I'm genuinely still excited to see what's coming up. It just sometimes feels like Thomas is hyperfocusing on the big projects, and not letting himself enjoy the stuff that makes the bigger projects feel more substantial, if that makes sense.

i kinda agree im not sure i haven’t made up my mind on this. i liked the videos with his friends before but they’ve also gotten so extra that i no longer watch them either, im now one of those fans just waiting for sanders sides. but i do wish he would make simpler fun things either small sanders sides episodes or small vlogs. i miss his vlogs. but mostly because of nostalgia, those things made me company through the worst years of high school lol. anyway getting off topic.

i do think thomas is trying his best, i do not doubt that in the slightest. but even when you try your best if you don’t have a good strategy the results might not be the best. but i dont know what their strategy is so i can’t judge i guess.

more asks and replies under the cut

yeah like. they pushed the limits of what they could do with what they had back since accepting anxiety. and then they got better equipment and staff and stuff and instead of saying “now we can do the same things in less time and with less effort” they went “now we can do even bigger things that push our limits just as much!”

which is their decision to make not mine but i assume that’s where some of that stress might be coming from.

yes i agree with all of this. there’s some blogs that have posted criticism or defenses against criticism that i just find incredibly mean spirited or that make good points but phrase it in aggressive ways i don’t like.

i think whichever opinion you have it’s best to be open minded. acknowledge our own feelings and talk about them without attacking anyone. it’s okay to feel frustrated and angry and then we’re responsible about what we do with those emotions. and i think it’s cool to talk about them with other fanders that have felt the same. just stay open minded about what others have to say and then make up your mind about how much you agree or disagree.

and keep in mind that we know nothing about how thomas and co work. on both sides. like you cant claim their workflow is perfect nor claim it’s horrible because we just don’t know. but we can say we’re feeling disappointed or bored or annoyed or whatever because those are our own feelings.

yeah again this is my blog and i post what i want. and im doing my job by tagging and warning them.

and also thomas is a grown man in his thirties who has been a social media personality for, what? maybe almost a decade? im sure he knows how to be responsible about it and not go digging to read criticism of his work to get hurt by it. or at least i hope so. if he doesn’t then that’s out of my hands as well. and the hundreds of people supporting him on the replies of all his tweets more than make up for a handful of blogs that make angry posts every once in a while.

yes that’s understandable. but i still don’t know. if thomas has these personal problems that are so serious that they cause his content to come sooo slowly and still cause him to have this much stress then he should probably just take a huge actual break. and let us know about it. without necessarily telling us the reason of course.

if after Putting Others First or the last Asides he had said “hey im going on a hiatus for big projects like sanders sides and cartoon therapy while i figure stuff out, but i’ll film x kind of content because it requires less effort and i enjoy it” or even that the entire channel is going on hiatus, and then he came back like a year later and said “okay we’re back first thing we’re doing is writing the finale script!” or whatever then that would have been less frustrating than this. even if it had taken the same 3 years. because at least afterwards you know that he’s better and the wait would be worth it. at least that’s my opinion.

[iratusmus]

😳🫡

*cue Katy Perry LOL*

😳 Hottest Sonic Take?

ok definitely not my hottest sonic take but some things are best left unsaid. regardless uhhh one of them . at least in the realm of scourge fans specifically is that m*ghtourge as a ship SUCKS it SUCKS its HORRIBLE and i cant even begin to bring myself to apologize for it. like i dont feel sorry at all like you take away scourge's tacky sunglasses and you take away the tacky flame and then you make him into a smol uwu bean housewife for some godforsaken reason (namely because you dont understand the character even a little bit like this is top ten fundamental misunderstandings ever of all time) for your bad yaoi. im not even going to call it m/m its YAOI. then you ship him with .... mighty ? mighty, a guy who has 1) Standards 2) absolutely no relation to scourge even a little bit 3) NO DYNAMIC THERE TO EXPLORE. THERES NOTHING INTERESTING HERE. its literally. ok sonourge is onecest (its not like . problematic i guess its just really weird) and i am notably not a fan but at least theres something to EXPLORE. the amount of character assassination you would have to do to get that to work is truly incredible but with m*ghtourge its literally character assassination but for the worlds most boring cardboard box bland instant gratification fanon crappy yaoi GARBAGE. theres NOTHING interesting here and none of these people even want to write a scourge redemption arc anyways they literally just want to make everything he ever did not his fault because a) moebius lead poisoning or something, which weirdly enough does not apply to any of the other moebians except for scourge b) his daddy issues c) his trauma or d) some combination of the above. so basically "he was never evil to begin with he was just really sad and lonely 😌✨" which is literal trash like i dont even know where to begin on this one. look. im a huge fan of redemption arcs but this is neither a redemption nor an arc this is an EXCUSE HEEL-FACE TURN. ITS TRASH. ITS TRASH. OHHHHH ITS JUST GARBAGE i actually have way more i could say on this but i will spare you the rest . this got a little out of hand. oh well

🫡 Coldest Sonic Take?

i dont like surge and kit all that much im SORRYYYYYYYYYY im sorry but its TRUEEEEEEEE. literally they have been redeemed so much in my eyes by the passion for them of my dear mutuals bunnymajo and cartoonrival so we're back to "decidedly neutral" but like . im sorry its not even their fault theyre just .... okay because the thing with me is that when characters who i feel decidedly neutral on get super popular and nobody will ever shut up about how amazing and perfect and poor uwu bean they are ... this is the quickest path to get me to dislike them.

added on top of the fact that they were literally like the entire idw focus for a year AND people (non-archie fans, specifically,) kept . bafflingly. beyond all reason and comprehension. comparing surge to scourge (which i have already ummmm written about my opinions on) it just. im sorry guys 💔 theyre okay. theyre Fine. they just never really clicked with me and then people were super annoying about them and particularly annoying in the direction of archie sonic, a series which i am aggressively defensive over in the face of idw fans 😭

[pendulumstar]

first post in a while, and it's negative. sorry y'all 😔

at least having the decency to put it under the cut

not sure if they're ever gonna see this, but i'm in so much fucking pain right now. i thought we were on good terms. and everything was just torn away from us in seconds. if you're keeping tabs on my blog, this message is for you. i'm not naming names- that's rude and uncalled for- but you know who you are.

the entire spicy patch group worried sick about you for a MONTH STRAIGHT. i lost sleep, i had nightmares, we all were awaiting your return. only reason i commented on your yt posts was because of that impression we were on good terms! we mourned your absence every day. everyone genuinely missed you and were worried sick. and now i've been told we hurt you, yet don't know what any of us did. you mention walking on eggshells around the group, i can understand a couple incidents, absolutely! i won't deny them at all. yet nothing else immediately comes to mind. as far as i'm aware, everyone did their best to fix their part of the problem, and wanted to grow from their mistakes. and i'll admit: i'm not a perfect person, im no saint. but you never communicated these problems to anyone, which has me baffled since i thought i at least kept my end pretty open.

still, i understand you're in an abusive situation, stuck with your abusive and neglectful mother and grandma, but this isn't the way to go about it. abandoning your friends who tried to help you out of an abusive situation with your ex isn't it. going BACK to the ex that sexually and emotionally manipulated and abused you isn't it, or at least i'm under that impression you've gone back because of a comment they left when i went to wish you well on your journey and new life.

if you are back together, again assuming you are: you're just putting yourself back into a vicious cycle of abuse. but i also get it. when you're abused, you get used to that normal, and you sometimes go back because it's all you know. and in a fucked up way, it's comforting to you. but it's a horrible situation to put yourself back into, and i don't know why you'd do that to yourself. it hurts me seeing you do this to yourself.

but now- admittedly- you've pissed everyone off. you talked about us- although vague like i'm being- like shit when nobody had even the vaguest idea that we hurt you so severely. if you'd told me that, i would've dropped everything to stop any negative behaviors. but hey, i guess this can be considered bad/toxic behavior, vagueing you on social media. but i absolutely refuse to drop your name or your identity at all for respect of your reputation. we're both artists and use it to support us financially. and even then, this is the only avenue of communication i have with you, since you've gotten rid of all your socials. it's the only shot i have to send this message to you.

you abandoned the people who genuinely loved and cared about you, put yourself into a willingly abusive situation again, and expect everyone- especially me- to be fine with it? several of us put our necks out for you, and you stomped on them. you [again, assumedly] went back to a known manipulator when YOU YOURSELF admitted you're easily influenced/manipulated. so why make such an impulsive, rash decision? especially since you've actively shunned other people for the same fucking behavior. but hey, you've burned the bridges already. don't bother trying to come back, you've wounded everyone in that friend group, and nobody wants to see your face ever again.

so maybe be smart and don't bite the hand that feeds next time. because now the doors are closed.