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jodilin65 · 25 years

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MONDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 1999 I forgot to say that the day they were finishing up the carpet, we spied on the back, and it looked like people may now be in the house furthest from us (originally, I thought it might be the other way around). These houses and their immediate surroundings look like total dumps. There was a beat-up car outside with two adults sitting out front of the furthest house. I couldn’t get a make on their color/race being at a distance, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were Mexicans. They may’ve been workers too, and not residents, but it’s still too soon for these renters to be problem enough to know better (till I torch their places). Still, I accept losing the bet, which I had misunderstood the terms of. The bet means I can’t get any dolls till May, not that I can’t get anything at all till June like I thought was the case.

Anyway, it was pretty funny how I insisted I could hear the neighbor’s music the day we pulled in while the carpet layers were there when it turned out it was coming from our own house! Funny, huh? Tom sure thought so. Yeah, the carpet people had a portable radio going.

Here’s something even funnier: I spend over a decade wishing I could keep a schedule, and now I can’t wait to get off of one! It’ll probably be another couple of weeks before I can.

Tom just went a little nuts in his sleep talking again and saying “I’ll check it out for you. I’m a skeptic. I can’t believe what you say.”

Later…

I really hope I don’t need to buy a third journal, but I doubt it. We should definitely be in by the time this one’s done, but boy let me tell ya - if we ain’t, we’re gonna be in court suing these people!

He talked with the well driller today, who says the well will be done this week. Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it. And what about APS and Gravity finishing his job?

He called the mail carrier and was told there are no mail services on our street, so we can either apply for a delivery extension, put our mailbox on Bitter Root, which is too far to walk to, or just keep our PO Box. We’ll probably just do a PO Box, and remember, now that I’m there, the area will build up quickly enough so our application for a delivery extension will be accepted. As it is now, though, there are not enough houses between us and the two rentals, but once there’s us, four rentals, plus houses across the street and to our right, an extension will be no problem.

I definitely want to check out the land to our right and in front. I want to find out who owns it and what the story with it is. It’s not for sale now that I know of, but give it 6-12 months and I’ll bet it will be.

At the trailer Sunday morning, we were locked in. I couldn’t get the damn door open. Tom loosened some screws and fixed the knob, though. While we were still trapped, he jokingly said, “It’s kind of scary being trapped in here with me, huh?”

I joked back saying, “Yeah, I’m afraid you might rape me.”

The night before this I nearly blinded myself in one eye with a clip that broke and flew into my eye. Miraculously, I had no bruising on the skin, but it did bruise a corner of my eyeball.

Since now’s the time to mail something and hope that Tom doesn’t find out about it, by having the front desk mail it, I’m gonna send the H’s a wacky letter. He still may find out about it if they suspect us, then contact Hilda to contact us about it, but I doubt it. If they do, they do, though. I’d still rather not hand an envelope addressed to them to Tom to mail, cuz he’ll only try to talk me out of it. Meanwhile, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, but if he does find out, then I’ll listen to him lecture me for an hour about it and I’ll deal with him being paranoid over it till 2005.

Later…

Last night I called the front desk about the room next door, but not to complain, since they weren’t that noisy and since it wouldn’t have done me any good if they were. I did it to see if I could find out when they’d be leaving. It sounded like the same guy who I complained to about that old crone on the 1st floor (we’re now on the end of the 2nd floor directly above our usual room) and I was surprised he gave me any info. He let me know they were leaving today, which eased my nerves. I didn’t think they’d leave after just one night. Someone’s door woke me up at 7:15, but I’m almost sure it wasn’t theirs, cuz fortunately, their door’s not right smack next to ours. It was probably the door across the hall or the outside stairway door. Unless they arrived late, no one was above us last night, cuz as is my habit lately, I call the surrounding rooms to see what’s empty and what’s not. So far, as far as I know, no one’s above or next door to us now (who cares about below), but someone’s across from us.

The maid called today wanting to know if we wanted our room cleaned. That was a stupid question. Why would we have our DO NOT DISTURB sign out if we did?

Later…

I’ve become sort of friendly with one of the girls at the front desk. She’s the one who helped me get my popcorn that got stuck in the vending machine. She smiled when she saw me earlier making popcorn and asked how long I was staying. I told her about our situation. I stopped by the front desk to chat some more with her just now when I went to get coffee when a man came in saying he needed four rooms. Four rooms! That’s a lot of fucking kids! Next door’s still empty but I’m sure some of them will be unloaded in there any sec.

Last night, for reasons I can only guess, a suite door was left with its door guard in place so anyone could walk right in just like I did. Their suites are identical to the one we were in at the La Quinta, only it was laid out differently. We’re in a regular room with two doubles, a dresser, and a table. This had a king with a table, dresser, couch, and micro/fridge. Since it was on this floor, I used its microwave. I also helped myself to some toiletries. I could’ve made free long-distance calls. However, there’s no one I care to call that’s long-distance.

Tom may be coming down with a cold. I hope not. It could just be exhaustion, though.

My trip to Melanie’s was a waste of time and gas, but at least I don’t have to go back for 8 weeks! The doctor didn’t even tighten the retainers. All he did was look at them and ask if they fit OK.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 1999 Back at the Fairfield till Wednesday. God’s up to one of his favorite obsessions concerning me - sticking kids next to me. I was in between CDs when I heard a kid scream and felt the vibration of its footsteps. I peeked out into the hall (this was just after he left for work) and saw a guy with a ton of luggage heading next door. I never actually saw any kids, so I couldn’t say how many are over there. He smiled at me and we went into our rooms. Thank God these walls are thicker than the apartment walls at the Vista, Crystal Creek, and the dive in Snottsdale! Although I’ve heard a few bumps and bangs, they haven’t been as noisy as I thought they’d be. The question is - will I be able to get up in the morning when I say so, or will I have to when they say so? No kid is gonna sleep till 8:30, and you know the parents won’t give a shit if they run around like crazy.

I’d like to say that they’ll be settling down for bed soon and gone for good in the morning, but I know better. One look at the amount of luggage they had told me they’d be here for more than one night. They’re not in the middle of their trip. Here is their final destination. If they were coming/going from some other state, they wouldn’t have that much luggage cuz you wouldn’t need so much for one night. They’ve come to visit someone in the area for at least a few days which is why they had so much crap. Besides, I know what God would have in store for me.

This is also not a very good sign of the “end times,” so to speak, signaling our final hotel stay. I still don’t see how the well could be done, along with APS’s job, and Gravity’s job of connecting the well/septic by Wednesday so we can be in by the 1st. Tom promises to hire new people, though, if they don’t stick to the contract.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1999 If Tom’s right, and if he’s not getting his hopes up for nothing, this will be the last night we sleep in the trailer. If gunshots don’t wake me up sooner than I’d like, then he will, but it’s OK.

The fucking idiots sent the well permit to our old address so that’s part of the reason for the delay. According to the way Tom’s figured things out between the well driller and APS, we should be in the house Wednesday.

The skirting is now on and it really makes the house look better.

Also, the carpet’s down. It’s darker than I thought; sort of like faded denim, but it’s better than brown. I like it.

I found yet more problems, and I’m telling you - there’s no fucking excuse for this! Those fucking goddamn lazy, half-assed Mexicans!

They installed the things for the outdoor lights crookedly, and the utility door handle does not fit right. There’s a large gap in the door.

We went over to the house after the girl and guy who did the carpet left, and we discussed clean-up and preparation jobs, as well as did a little work over there. When we can, I’m gonna sweep the floors and vacuum and he’s gonna wipe down the walls and counters of all their dust.

Today we set up the fridge, oven, and dishwasher, and peeled stickers off of things in the bathrooms. I also took down the curtains I plan to replace.

Anyway, I hope Tom’s not jumping the gun, cuz he’s got a room reserved for us for three nights at the Fairfield. Being there on a Friday night/Saturday morning was just as bad as I figured it’d be. I should’ve known too, that just because it started off quiet, it wouldn’t stay that way. Not once it got well past check-in time. They ended up pretty packed and the early morning door-slamming was pretty wild. I’m amazed they let me sleep till 8:30 like I did. Shortly afterward, we screwed.

There was nothing to say he wouldn’t or couldn’t cum, based on his actions, but then like usual, he had an excuse. A cramp in his back was the excuse of choice this time. Fine, but why make excuses, Tom? Just be yourself.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 1999 We decided to check into the Fairfield so we could take showers. It’ll also give me a break from being shaken awake. First he shook me awake, then I woke up just because, and then a fly landed on me and buzzed me awake just before 8:00. I couldn’t have slept much later anyway since the carpet people started their work.

We got here at 11:00 and we were supposed to be on the 2nd floor, the one with the lazy Mexican who doesn’t change sheets (this place has three floors), but the room wasn’t ready, so now we’re back on the 1st. This time, though, instead of being at the end of the hall by the exit door, we’re up in the middle by the lobby. The little laundry room is just across the hall. The laundry room where they wash sheets is across the hall, too. I thought it might be very noisy here. Especially with it being a Friday night, but it hasn’t been too bangy so far. Since it’s the Thanksgiving weekend and not a regular weekend, they may not be as booked up.

The room was really musty when we first came in, but Tom opened the window and we aired it out. I didn’t even know these windows opened.

He went to see his mom since he hasn’t seen her in a couple of weeks.

There was no alarm clock in here. Tom can get me up by 8:30 tomorrow if nothing beats him to it, but I thought it’d be nice to tell time, so I got one at the front desk. Oddly enough, there were no outlets behind the nightstand, so I plugged it in by this table I’m writing on.

I also had to hunt down the maid for a DO NOT DISTURB sign again, but I still like this place the best.

Later…

Tom’s still not back yet. I napped for about an hour, after a shower and doing a little load of laundry.

That musty smell returned, and I noticed the floor by the sink was damp, so I think there’s a leak somewhere. Yeah, I’m a magnet for leaks. We both are. I’m also good at sending out those infertility vibes too, cuz as it turns out, none of these mice were ever pregnant. How amazing too, seeing that they were in a cage with males.

Tom won our bet about it being quiet behind us, although he won by default. No one’s been over there as far as I can tell. Still, I won’t get anything till June. The bet was that I go without any more dolls and stuff like that for six months. I’ll keep my end of the bet, but I wish he’d quit lying and learn to keep his end of things when it came to sex! As you know, I no longer want a kid, but when the guy comes out and says he’s gonna cum regularly, this really burns me up. Not just cuz he’s lied about this before a zillion times, but cuz we don’t even screw regularly to begin with. How can he cum regularly when we don’t screw regularly? Again, part-time, cumless sex is fine 90% of the time, but why bullshit me about it? He is how he is, and like I said before, any guy supposedly unafraid to go to a doctor about it but doesn’t wants to be the way he is.

Later…

Tom got in shortly after I last wrote. With him were a birthday card and a check from Mom. It was a very pretty card, too. Bright and colorful.

The people next door are getting on my nerves and believe it or not, these aren’t kids either. They’re just as rude and immature, though. Totally childish, and fucking males! The filthy pigs always have to go about things in such a forceful, macho way. Maybe I shouldn’t talk, for I’m just as aggressive, but I guess that except for my husband (or else I’d be alone forever or having little flings with women), I’ll always be a die-hard sexist.

I was reading and Tom was napping when a cock, accompanied by his woman, knocked so fucking hard and loud on next door’s door. Poor Tom nearly fell out of bed and I myself nearly jumped through the ceiling. I thought for sure someone was knocking on our door, but it was next door. If he’d done it again I’d have really let him have it. Meanwhile, it appears to be an older couple staying in the room. I guess they recently checked in. I saw the old lady go across to the washer, and she’d gone back and forth slamming the door several times when I decided to take the matter up with the front desk. Unless he just said he talked to them, which very well could be the case, it’s had its usual effect - nothing. However, I don’t chew out or beat up old people in the way that I would with a younger person. Because it’s still early and because we don’t live here and because she’s old, I’ll let her annoy me by rudely slamming her door. If she isn’t finished with the laundry and the door-slamming by 10:00, then I’ll go directly to her, old or not. I could kick myself for going to the front desk, though. Why do I even bother? Why do I waste my time? Again, you got a problem with someone, you want results, you gotta go to them. Also, I still can’t figure out for the life of me why people can’t handle such simple, reasonable complaints without getting so damn hot and bothered. It’s just a door-slamming complaint. I’m not saying their family has to die nor am I requesting their execution. Everyone’s so damn sensitive. So you close your door a little quieter next time you go in and out - big fucking deal. What’s wrong with a little common courtesy?

Instead of complaining, I should’ve yanked all her clothes out of the washer when she went back into her room, but that probably would’ve led to more commotion from over there.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 1999 Signing in on a very boring Thanksgiving. There’s just nothing to do. Nothing to do, no place to go.

Tom got up a little before 11:00 last night and stayed in the car till morning so I could sleep without him shaking the trailer. Remember, we’ve got a total of four nights here. I slept in till 10:30. I know it may fuck up my schedule, but I really needed a day in my life to get up on my own. It’s been over four months now of waking up sooner than I planned to get up, or to the alarm. I can’t wait to take a break from early wake-up calls and alarms! Last night’s reason for waking up was that I was absolutely freezing! It sure does get colder out here, if not by much. Trying to heat a little flimsy trailer’s hard. It heats up quickly and well, but two minutes after the heat stops, it’s fucking freezing in here again!

I expected to hear a lot of gunfire this morning, but I didn’t. That’s the only other thing I don’t like for while we’re still in the trailer (we shouldn’t hear it in the house); the goddamn weekend gunshots. They hunt quails and shit like that in the mornings and late afternoons.

I’m not sure if anyone’s behind us or not. I heard a dog, which may’ve been a Doberman, barking from that direction, for a few minutes, but I was pretty sure the Doberman belonged to one of the workers. Unless it’s one of the workers moving in there, or the barks were coming from Dan’s or somewhere else.

The only thing I’ve heard so far, and it’s so soft that I can’t hear it inside the trailer with the windows open, so I sure as hell couldn’t hear it in the house. The house toward the front of us, actually, in front of next door, is playing a radio. Like I said, it’s so soft I can’t even make out what kind of music it is. It’s an old, baseless radio. All I hear is the faint beat of the drums and I can tell when the DJ is talking, too. Although this surprises me, since people aren’t supposed to want to draw attention to themselves out here, I’m not worried. It is a holiday, after all, and who knows? Maybe they’re renters.

I wish it would rain for a change. It hasn’t rained in months. I want to see what it’s like with water running down our washes. That oughta be so cool having a little river run by our house when it rains.

The house’s 6” thick walls and thermo-treated windows really insulate well. It finds a temperature average to maintain. It doesn’t get as warm as it is in the daytime or as cold as it is at night. It’s 55º in there lately. Our highs lately are 70º and our lows are 40º.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 1999 We stopped at the grocery store in Sun Lakes before coming to the land, which was pretty crowded being the day before Thanksgiving. If there’s anything I hate about old people, it’s that they drive too slow and rudely block isles in stores when they stop to gab with one another.

During the daylight, it was as quiet as usual, but with the onset of night, the dogs are beginning to stir up.

Tom and I made a bet. Since we know at least one of those trailers in back is now occupied, the holiday changes when the noise starts. If it weren’t for tomorrow being Thanksgiving, I’d say we were a week or two away from their antics/noise, but I guarantee it’ll be noisy over there tomorrow. I’m sure we’ll hear from next door and maybe Dan too, but in back, I bet Tom nothing for me for six months on their barking, screaming and music. Nothing for me, meaning no dolls or anything like that.

Nothing anyone around here can do can compare to how that Mexican household in Phoenix will be and I thank God I am not there to have to hear it. Man is it gonna be a circus over there! I hope the H’s are planning on trying to have a nice, quiet relaxing Thanksgiving cuz they ain’t getting it. I know everyone will go to the freeloaders’ and that they won’t go to someone else’s, and I know there’ll be music from the house and car stereos. Thank you, God, that I don’t have to be forced to be a part of it and listen to it for 12 hours.

The factory still hasn’t called us about outside steps, the globe, cleaning, or a final walk-through, and APS hasn’t been out. What else is new, huh? But the heat pump and carpet are finally being installed. The guy “says” he was putting it in today, but I don’t think he and his partner can do it today. I think they’ll have to come back Friday along with the carpet layers. They took our unwanted furnace out, by the way, too. As for the carpet, the padding’s down, but the carpet won’t be laid till Friday.

Actually, come to think of it, the dogs have been quieter lately. Maybe the colder weather has to do with it.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1999 I’m doing a mini-load of laundry now.

About four days ago, the weather here turned rather wintry. It’s only making it up to the mid-60s, and even in the afternoon it’s nippy. Especially when it’s windy.

Tom called Hilda today and the idiot still doesn’t know where our well permit is. Tom reminded her that our first payment is due on the first, and he said her response to that was, “Then we have a week to get it done.”

Yeah, right! I’ll believe it when I see it. She also says Gravity’s gonna come out and connect the well to the septic once we ever get the damn thing, but this is even harder to believe.

In other areas of the house set up - Brian’s supposed to take care of the skirting, and someone’s supposed to lay the carpet this week.

Our storage bin’s coming out next Monday and the furniture will be delivered on the 30th.

Tom got a plug to fill in the drop-out in the electrical box and he called APS to tell them it’s ready for a meter, as well as an inspection.

We still have to get the washer, dryer, trash compactor, computer desk (for my office), entertainment center, and the project and animal tables. We discussed the possibility of building our own entertainment center since we like being creative and making things.

The kitchen sink has a spot where you can add either a hose spray or an instant hot water spigot. I think I’ll take the hot water. We also have to get a water softener, but we may not need a filter. That’ll depend on how it tastes.

As with most hotels and other businesses, they have fake plants around the lobby, which is usually deserted. I could easily swipe a couple of little ones, and I thought about it, but they’re not that great. Just green leaves. No colorful flowers.

Besides going to a drive-through and to Circle K, we made two stops.

We went to the trailer and house first, spying on the back houses first. What dumpy trailers these are. They’re double-wide, but according to George, only 40’ long.

There’s definitely still no one living in the furthest one yet, but there was a Doberman chained by it. It was there when the workers that are usually there were there, so maybe it’s one of theirs. What is it with people taking their dogs to work, anyway? Amazingly, though, not once did I hear it bark. Dogs do tend to be quieter out there during the daytime, though.

I took care of the animals while he took care of the plug, and even brought Scuttles to run around in the house. He didn’t explore that much, just made a few corner duties. I wish rats could be trained like cats to use little boxes. It’d be so cool to have them run around loose, but they’d chew everything up, of course.

At Walgreens, we got my meds and some toys. They replaced the Flovent with my old stuff - Vanceril. Well good, cuz the Flovent’s not very good. Got my Albuterol as usual too, and that’s it. I only have two things I take.

He got a yo-yo, and just like he said, he’s super good at it.

I got a pocket Simon game where you match color sequences. Also, a Barbie I’ve wanted for my collection for a while with a pink, satiny, glittery dress with a jagged hem. She has a pull-string with a pink plastic star on the end that you pull so she spins at the waist and makes bubbles with wands you clip to her wrists. I didn’t get it for this purpose, though. I just liked the dress. Besides, my fan can make bubbles a lot better than she can.

Later…

Gave Andy another hotel call. I’m not calling him too often cuz I don’t want to drive the poor guy crazy and possibly even into spending money he needs on getting his number changed. I doubt if he’d go to those extremes, though. Andy can certainly handle prank calls better than anyone I know. You’re talking about a phone addict here who loves to do the same thing.

I picked up and he was quiet for the first minute. Then, after a sigh of frustration, he did what I thought he’d have done by now - chewed disgustingly in my ear. I had the fan on, so I couldn’t tell if he was alone or not. All he said was “Don’t hang up. I know you want to hear me eat. This chocolate pudding is so good. I have chocolate swirl, too. Everyone loves chocolate. Everyone loves Raymond, too.” Then he hung up. No, I don’t know who Raymond is or if he even knows a Raymond. Bruce, though, might be the gay guy from Circle K. I’m not sure.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 1999 Saturday, when I was in the house, I saw a US West truck, plus some other worker’s truck in back. One was driving up as I approached the window, and I watched someone get out of the truck and shut the door and I never heard the door shut. It would have to be slammed hard while it was dead quiet to be heard in the house, but unfortunately, music doesn’t have to be all that loud to be heard just fine in the house.

Later that day, we noticed a small U-Haul back there, and from what we saw, someone had to have stayed there overnight Saturday night, but they were quiet. This is the house closest to us, I’m talking about. The one I’m pretty sure is where the single guy’s going. I wasn’t surprised they were quiet for two reasons. One - their dog’s not here yet. Two - I noticed that people usually wait till they get settled first, then a week or two after moving is when they draw attention to themselves and rub their presence in on the neighborhood.

A gray van I’d never seen before went by our house but I couldn’t see where they came from. I waved and they waved back. There were at least two people, and the passenger may’ve been a fat adult female. Couldn’t tell too well with the sun’s glare.

Saturday we checked out a road that we thought would take off a good 30 miles or so when going to Melanie, but it was in really shitty condition. However, the scenery was breathtakingly beautiful and made our land look dull. It had an awesome mountain view with tons of saguaros one way, then in the other direction, you could see a town far off in the distance. I’ll bet the distant lights at night are gorgeous. You can see that and beautiful mountains from our place too, but nothing like this. And we’re too low for saguaros to grow naturally, although they’ll be fine once we plant them. Saguaros occur in the higher desert. This area, though, wasn’t for sale, had treacherous roads, and no electricity around for miles.

We’re supposedly screwing sometime today, but I’m sure there’ll be some excuse to get out of it, or some problem with it if we do get around to it.

Later…

So, was I right about him having a mid-cycle excuse? Yup. He was too tired. Figures, huh? Well, I know I can’t conceive, but he obviously doesn’t, so from now on I’m gonna try to hide from him just where I am in my cycle so he doesn’t have to get all wound up for nothing. It’ll be easier to do once we get in the house, cuz he’ll seldom be in the bathroom I’ll be using, so I can hide pads and tampon wrappers easier. My cycle isn’t always predictable, but it’s close enough, even if I have erratic spotting at odd times.

I tested him earlier. He passed just like I knew he would, but even so, I still like testing people from time to time, even if I know what their reaction’s gonna be. I just like to see it periodically.

I said that maybe we could bring women into our sex life, and he seemed to truly be disinterested and he said he didn’t want that. He wanted me (just part-time, not that that’s not good enough for me). When I told him I was testing him, he said he thought I was testing to see what I could do. Hope, not at all. Women are fun to fantasize about, but ever since I met Tom, I’ve never had the desire to act on any fantasies. This sort of surprises me, despite how much I love Tom, but then again, love and lust are two different things, so I guess I really should be surprised. As I’ve said, sex is a tiny part of this relationship, as far as I’m concerned, and I love Tom way more than I lust for him. I’m glad this is how I feel, though, and wouldn’t be happy with someone I lusted for but did not love. That would’ve been fine in the past, but not now.

I have a lot to be grateful for. Not just that Tom doesn’t think with his dick, not just that I quit wanting a kid and don’t have the sexual drive I used to have, but that I am finally healthy and happy. I may still get tight at times, but look how long it’s been since I’ve had to go to the ER! God’s blessed us with a great house, nice stuff, and he’s finally allowed me to quit smoking and get on a schedule. If only he’d let me lose weight now! Well, he may choose not to help me with the hunger part of it, but I have to at least not eat. I have to face reality. I’m not in my 20s anymore and I never will be again, so I can only have a bite a day if I want my weight to be somewhat reasonable, and this is the way it’s always gonna be.

Tom got to the hotel right before 9:00 this morning and had me get him up at 1:00. We went to the trailer, and oh my God! Even in the middle of the afternoon, it was chilly as all hell and we had to run the heat for a while. It felt like late August-early September in New England.

The plug he got for the electrical box was the wrong size, so he’ll have to get another one. At least it didn’t cost even a buck.

He measured walls and windows for drapes and murals, and we worked on Jade some more. It wasn’t very easy. The legs set great, but stuffing the body was harder than it sounded, cuz we had to get things evened out and proportioned. I wonder if the cloth body, which is what you fill, is too big for this doll. There’s a lot of bunched material, so it looks like she’s got skinny legs with a fat ass. It doesn’t have to be perfect, though, cuz clothes cover the non-porcelain parts of dolls. We just have to get it close enough so her dress doesn’t appear to have a funny-shaped body underneath.

Hey, I didn’t write about my new cactus clock and paper. We went to a touristy Walgreen and I got a cactus clock, but they didn’t have the cactus plate I wanted as well. I got paper for letters to Paula with pretty watercolor splashes throughout it. I’ll keep a few sheets for myself too, and maybe use some for those lying control freaks in Florida. I still intend to mail them pictures once the house is set up, but I’ll have to use the back.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 1999 I thought I’d write and keep from getting overly behind, cuz I can’t focus on reading right now. Writing requires me to focus too, but in a different way.

It appears Gravity’s skipped out on us. I hope he knows this means he won’t be getting paid. Since Gravity won’t haul his blubber out and finish his job, Tom’s gonna get the plug for the electric box so we can have heat Wednesday night and sleep in the house for the first night ever (we’re now at the Fairfield for three days. Same room as last time)! We’ll be able to heat the place, but we’ll have to go to the trailer to the bathroom since the damn well’s still not drilled.

Brian strapped the house down with metal straps that attach to a 3’ pole that he slowly drills into the ground with some really cool tool.

Tom and I discussed plans for outside the house - where the pool will go, the deck, stuff we want to plant, and we even discussed getting a couple of horses. They stink and are more work to take care of than rats, mice and guinea pigs, but if it’s what we want, we can handle it. Tom’s quite an expert on horses, so I can learn from him just like he’s learned from me about things I know.

As I probably mentioned, I had begun growing my bangs out. However, it looked so geeky, so I cut my bangs back again earlier this evening.

I got another sitting music doll on the 19th (Stephanie) at the same store I got Melanie at. So far, I’m shocked to say it still works. We got it in an awesome grocery store in Sun Lakes. Sun Lakes and its stores are great, cuz just like with Sun City, it’s a retirement area, where everyone’s old, white and quiet. They just really annoy you with their 10 MPH driving speed.

Stephanie’s got auburn hair, blue eyes, and wears a blue and white dress with a touch of glitter. She has a white dove on her arm, too.

We began putting Jade together on Saturday. Saturday we wrapped the armature with plastic bags at the legs, then poured Durham’s rock hard inside the leg molds, then squeezed them on. We let it set overnight, but this morning, one leg was loose, so we reset it. Hopefully, we can stuff her up to her waist or so tomorrow, then set her arms.

Tom read a whole Dean Koontz book yesterday. One I bought and haven’t read yet.

He went down on me the day before and says we’ll screw tomorrow. And let me guess - he’ll be too scared to cum being where I’m at in my cycle, right? Good. There’s no sense in taking stupid risks.

I called Andy from the Southgate Hotel, and he said “Hello” in a calm, quiet voice. Then, in a more exasperated way, he said, “Bruce?” He let out a sigh of frustration at that point, then I hung up. This was the only call I gave him from that place, which turned out to be dead quiet. It wasn’t comfortable or convenient, though.

I called Andy three times tonight. He didn’t answer the first time, so I hung up on his machine. He answered the second time while I happened to be fiddling with the clock radio. “Your music sucks,” he said and hung up. I got his machine on the last call and it was perfect! What a funny, ironic coincidence that this God-obsessed guy got the message he got. I was just flipping to a religious station as the machine came on where a guy’s ending words of some speech were, “May God bless you.” He’ll love it! He’ll totally get a kick out of it, as well as a bit curious, I’d think.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 1999 Gosh, it’s almost Friday already. We still have biweekly sex, although sometimes 3-4 weeks pass in between sex. I’m glad I’ve gotten used to this and I wish to hell I could know I’ll get used to the hunger once I begin dieting, but it never goes away. Not for me, it doesn’t. Anyway, whatever we do sex-wise, he won’t be squirting this time. Not with me close to mid-cycle and with his cumming just two weeks ago. It still strikes me as odd how God sees to it he doesn’t cum during mid-cycle, although he has a few times. That was quite some time ago, though. I know part of it is Tom himself, but if God can do anything, why put such effort into it and work at the timing and all that? I still say - why not just see to it that I need a hysterectomy? Why work at it needlessly?

Again, not a sound since we returned around 5:00. I let the housekeeper do her thing today, but she didn’t change our sheets. That’s OK. The stuck-on booger is way up by where the bed meets the headboard. We noticed this yesterday if this is really what it is.

APS finally came out today to do their thing, but once again, we’re waiting on fucking Gravity. He needs to get his ass out there and get the meter box up. I’m so damn sick of stupid incompetent little shits! One person says one thing while someone else says another, then Hilda says she doesn’t know who’s doing what. She doesn’t know? Then what the fuck is she in this business for? If she doesn’t know who’s doing what by now, she’s got a real problem. How many years has she been in this business? Well, I think it’s about time people start figuring out who’s doing what and do it! If Gravity wants his money and if people don’t want to get sued, they better get their asses in gear and us in that house by the 1st as the contract states.

One of the guys from APS, who has the same model we do, is in the process of suing Palm Harbor for similar problems we’ve got like with all the staples showing, the botched island trim job, the half-assed baseboard job in the entryway, and the crooked bar. Even Brian, who’s the only one who’s been dedicated so far, noticed the island trim, and he suggested I mention it during the final walk-through. Oh, I will. I’m not gonna necessarily have them fix things, cuz that’d just delay us from getting in there (we’ll fix their fuck-ups ourselves even though we shouldn’t have to. We paid them to do it) However, I am gonna point out these flaws to them. I understand no one and nothing is perfect, but this is a little overkill.

Also, why do people have to die that are associated with those working for us? First Gravity’s mother-in-law dies and now the carpet layer’s friend dies. The carpet would’ve been done today if the guy’s friend hadn’t been killed on a motorcycle. Hilda says it’d be no problem getting another carpet layer if she has to. Let’s hope not, although I still can’t understand why so many different people have to be involved. APS has to be APS, but why can’t Palm Harbor take care of their house’s setup as well? And the septic? We shouldn’t have bothered with separate contractors, but I guess it’s cuz we went through Steven and not Palm Harbor directly.

So we still need the septic filled in after it’s inspected. The electric box needs inspecting. We need carpet. And we need a fucking well, too. Where the hell is the well permit we should’ve gotten two weeks ago?

Again, I can’t wait to get into that house and away from people and their stupidity!!!

Our first stop of the day, after Tom got off work, of course, was to Home Bass. He couldn’t find the tool he needs for the rammed earth wall he wants to make. This is the one to keep loose dogs, coyotes, etc. out, and cut down sound, but we’ll still put up the barbed wire perimeter fence.

We looked at outdoor plants/trees, sheds, decorative light switches, and indoor/outdoor mats. Their indoor mats were a bore, but I got a nice flowery outdoor mat cut around the shape of the flowers.

We also went to Game Works and accumulated about 1400 tickets. Not enough for a 3000-ticket lightning lamp. So I got three 75-ticket velour bears and now I have a yellow one, an orange one, a red one, and a green one (they were out of purple ones) and I have a voucher for 1185 tickets. So, two more trips and we’ll have the lamp. It’s not nearly as cool as the lamp I saw at Home Bass, though, which was amazingly only $50. It’s a stick lamp that’s about 4’ high with water bubbling in it and it changes colors, too.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 1999 Just made my hotel call to Andy. I forgot to even bother the last time around. Actually, I gave him two hang-ups on his machine cuz he didn’t answer.

We’re at the Southgate Motel now rather than a hotel as they all seem to be booked. The Fairfield is booked and the Hampton is booked. Something’s obviously going on nearby.

This place, which is the most old-fashioned of all, with real keys/has its doors outdoors like at that dive in Scottsdale. There are stairs you go up and a little walkway that goes down by the rooms so you have an outside hallway. I expected it to be the noisiest, but so far, it’s actually the quietest. With the fan on, anyway. Maybe it’s cuz there’s no hall for door slamming to echo in.

The place doesn’t even have wall lamps. Their lamps sit right on the nightstands. We got a king-size bed on the 2nd floor (it only has two floors) and the bed is awful. The worst thing about the place (I’d rather that than noise). I’ll have to sleep on the pillows and make sure I get my exercise mat to sleep on when we go to the trailer tomorrow (we’re booked for two nights). The carpet is old, worn, and stained, but softer than usual. It also has a little refrigerator and microwave.

There were a couple of not-so-impressive postcards in here. I wrote one up for Paula, then decided it wasn’t worth the stamp just to jot her a few lines. I’ll send her a real letter with more than just five sentences. I made up the other one with gibberish for “Deb Fanny.” Tom agreed it was funny, but said it’d stir things up. I know he’s just being paranoid, but that’s OK. I won’t mail it. They’re not worth it.

Target was the first store we went to, and I got four awesome pails! They’re small-medium sized and are for both baths, the retreat, and my office. I got two that are like soap dispensers with floating objects in oil and water at the bottom. One’s frogs and pink water lilies in green oil. One’s fish in blue oil. One’s just clear plastic with flowers. One’s cartoonish with lots of bright colors.

Got another clothes hamper and a pretty aqua-colored washcloth, so now we’ve got three.

I looked at pictures, and although I did find some nice ones, no big desert ones yet.

Because I’m a woman of variety, the house won’t have any specific theme decoration-wise. I’ve got everything from a picture of a sexy Indian lady, a disco light, dolls, and another broken music box. Yeah, I just had to get the broken one today at Walgreens, and I swear - it was not broken when I bought it, and I did not handle it rough enough to break it. It’s a swan figurine of spun glass with a little pink flower and pink bow that sits on a rotating mirrored bass. Fortunately, though, it can be glued back in place and still look nice, even though a piece is missing (the swans broke free of the base). It’s not like I wanted to play its music, anyway. I just thought it’d make a nice decoration and I always liked these since the first time we saw them nearly a year ago.

Originally, I had planned on getting a cactus clock and cactus plate, but this Walgreens didn’t have them, so I got the musical swans and a four-pack of body mists. I should’ve gotten this $8 4-pack, rather than the one big $8 bottle. The scents are water lilies, sparkling strawberries, Hawaiian ginger, and turquoise seas.

We also stopped in Radio Shack where I found the perfect pair of headphones for my stereo for $50, rather than $100 like at Best Buy.

Later…

This is definitely the quietest place we’ve stayed at. Not one slam or bang.

Our third and final trip to Marie Callender’s was a disaster, and this time I mean it when I say I’ll never go to a restaurant again. Ever! Only drive-through places. It wasn’t only due to screaming, unruly kids, who had to run around the place like wild animals, either. The service was absolutely horrid. I feel guilty for the way I handled it too, but I just couldn’t imagine sitting there without uttering a word and keeping it bottled up. I had to speak out, be blunt, get to the point, and defend both my husband and myself. Mark my words, though - that waitress is extremely lucky I didn’t go in there in a foul mood to begin with or else I’d have kicked her ass to hell and back.

First the bitch claims they were having some sort of problem, so she asked for our credit card and has us pay before eating. Then, we ordered. I asked her to hold the extra sauce from my ribs and chicken, but then when she served me, I had the extra sauce. Also, she served me first. That was rude. Everyone should be served at the same time. So I reminded her that I asked that the extra sauce be held, and she kept insisting I couldn’t do that. When I told her I did it the other night, she said I didn’t have to get mad and that she’d fix it. I wasn’t “mad,” although I was reasonably frustrated at this point. She did fix it. But when she brought my fixed food, apologizing like hell, she also brought Tom’s burgers and fries. Well, the fuck of a cook apparently couldn’t handle my complaint and sabotaged his fries with way too much spice. It was loaded with chili pepper. This was obviously in response to my having my food sent back, but why the little shit botched his food and not mine, and why there was no problem returning a too-raw steak at Denny’s one time, beats me, cuz this fuck’s reaction was your classic reaction. So damn typical! Why is it so hard for someone to just redo something, and move on? Everyone’s gotta be so fucking sensitive and take everything so personally.

So the waitress returns to ask us how things are, we mention the fries, then she asks him to sign the credit card thing without even offering a discount like Denny’s did, and I’m like - whoa, whoa! How about one after all this shit? Then she said something about taking care of it, and I asked to speak to the manager. So the manager comes, we tell her the scoop, she says it’s an insult to accuse her cooks of sabotage, she says her cooks wouldn’t do that (yeah, they’re perfect little angels), and on and on and on. When I realized she’d just sit there and make excuses all night, I took the credit card and receipt to sign and said, “Look. Let me tell you bluntly how it’s gonna be. We’re not paying for this. Period.”

Meanwhile, Tom had momentarily pushed his plate away from him and I was under the impression he wasn’t gonna eat his burger. The manager claims she refunded us, it was over, and so we left. Well, we sure hope it’s over. Amazingly, the Siesta Suites didn’t rip us off, according to the statement we just got, but will they? This is why I hate these damn credit cards, as I told Tom. You may as well hand out blank checks to people so they can just help themselves to whatever they want.

Anyway, to wrap this story up, Tom was upset I bluntly refused to pay and that he didn’t get to eat his burger. He wanted to at least eat that, then argue over the bill. He said not to feel bad about it, but I do and from now on, whenever we have a problem with someone, I’ll just sit there with my mouth shut and let him handle it no matter how much my blood’s boiling. I’m so sick of people and their incompetence and the problems they cause. I can’t wait to hibernate in that house, away from people. People are such stupid assholes.

Oh, and the manager also tried to tell us they season all their fries. Uh-huh. Sure they do. Just like the first two times we were there, right?

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 1999 We’re back at the trailer now, and since being here, I’ve heard a vehicle drive by at least twice that I know of (yeah, they’ll be passing by more and more as they get closer to moving in). The last time I could’ve sworn I heard music. I know I heard music. I am gonna be made to be so miserable once these people get here till I put a stop to it. Why, God? Huh? Why do you insist I listen to others? You really will never let me live in peace, will you? It really is an impossible dream for me.

Anyway, Gravity’s fucked up on putting in our electric pole again. How many years of experience is this cock supposed to have? Naturally, I feel Tom’s being too nice about it. This man just can’t speak out and put his foot down to save his life, and whenever I’m upset with someone, he defends them.

These fucking “professionals” have a contract saying they have to be done by the 1st, but at the rate they’re going, we don’t stand a chance of getting in by then.

No one’s living behind us yet. I can tell this due to the lack of screaming and house music and I don’t hear any new barks yet, either. They won’t play their car stereo really, really loud, though, till they do move in.

Anyway, it’s obvious God wants me to survive, in the sense of the word, and I knew he wouldn’t ruin our lives by having us sell our house only to have the loan fall through and end up indefinitely homeless (or in apartments). But why oh why won’t he leave me the fuck alone with neighbor noise? Why is it so important to him that they be a part of my life? Is it compensation for not having to listen to a kid inside my own home for 18 years? What is it? Just what the fuck is it?

George said his supplies were stolen. He’s some type of engineer, I guess, who works on houses, and he says someone stole his carpet and tiles, but we think it was someone working for or with him that did it cuz he seems like he could be a read bold, arrogant little shit that someone would do that to.

How do I know the vehicles, especially the one with music, were in fact connected to behind us when I never saw them? I just do. Like I said, I know what God has in store for me. He wouldn’t let me live in peace in the middle of the fucking Arctic.

Tom says I’m a “skinny little thing.” Not at 122 pounds (we weighed ourselves on a scale in the store). Not according to the mirror. Yeah, I undid over a year’s worth of work in just a couple of weeks. I still can’t believe it shows in my face, neck and hips now too, and not just my stomach and thighs. My tits are 36-B. I’m no Dolly Parton, but I sure miss the little mosquito bites I used to have for boobs!

Well, if we can just get into the fucking house, I can start losing weight and toning up with a new home gym, but for now, I can cut down on the shit I’ve been having.

I also can’t wait to take a break from being on a schedule (can’t believe I’ve been on one for three months now!). I want to take a break from alarms and just get up whenever I wake up for a change. At least for a couple of weeks.

I’m gonna tear these pages out after I’ve typed them, then rebind the typed version in here. Meanwhile, rather than dump all this writing, I’ll send this to Paula.

There goes another vehicle. It’s true that they may not have turned down Meadow Green, much less been connected to in back, but it’s no shock to me we’ve got all these people moving in and I’m hearing more vehicles. Most of them have to be connected. Getting closer.

Tom reminded me that people out here don’t want to draw attention to themselves as they do in Phoenix, it’s a different lifestyle, the roads are too bad for a lot of company, and they’re too far out for a lot of company. He can say this all he wants, but these will be anything but rural folks. Maybe the family won’t do music (just barking and screaming, but the guy and his gal pal will certainly do it all. I’ll take care of them, though, trust me. This ain’t Phoenix no more. Here, there are no laws. You got a problem with someone - you shoot them. Unless Tom wants to sell off our property in chunks like George did so he never has to work again, I’m not moving. I’ll fight for my peace and home this time, even if I have to literally kill for it.

Later…

Now I’ll cover where we went today.

Poor Tom wasted time standing in line forever at the PO for that thing that was too big, which turned out to be a computer CD that was to the guy who had our box before us.

We went to K-Mart and Wal-Mart and got many of the household items we need, but we still need to get doormats, an extra hamper, and new pails for the offices and baths. Of course, his mom will be in the guest suite on weekends.

I still want to get a cushion for the car too, to boost me up to shield me from the sun better, and some for the blue chairs I’ll use in the retreat.

I’ve decided to wait on the murals and the big Angel Barbie. Yeah, they have this really cool huge Barbie I want to get someday.

I got those glass jar lamps I mentioned. A big one for the living room and two little ones for the retreat and office. One of the lampshades I picked out is a pink floral shade and the others are white. One has gold trim. I’ll put flowers in them.

I got a couple of bras and a beautiful velvet purple dress for only $10 that’s like a T-shirt dress. Freesia floral body mist, a couple of pairs of batteries, and more earplugs, I also got.

Got air and fabric fresheners and a new, bigger salt and pepper shaker set that’s nothing fancy. Just plain glass ones like in a restaurant.

I also got a dish/cup/glass/bowl/silverware set with a beautiful pansy design. Summer Blush, the theme’s called. I liked it better than the garden one. Got pink floral dish towels, too.

For the baths - can I ever get 20 things in a row without a problem? Every time I buy stuff, something’s got to be broken. I can’t get past buying 15-20 things without a problem. I got two cute soap dispensers for each bath with floating swans and ducks (the soap goes in a chamber below it) and one of them has a broken pump. Got a couple of toilet brushes, and since we rarely use washcloths, I got two new ones and four bath towels. We don’t bother with hand towels, so I didn’t get any. I got a purple and a pink washcloth. For towels, I got purple, pink, light pink and light blue.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 1999 I hope our house is being carpeted right now!

Anyway, things here continue to be quiet. Just a few door slams and hardly any people. Tonight might be different, though. There may be more people and more banging.

OK, here’s what I feel is a nasty vibe and what he feels is pure paranoia on my part. Yesterday morning, a little white pickup that I’ve seen drive by before pulled up between the house and trailer, which by the way, could fit our old house, the freeloaders’, and the collies between it. He introduced himself as George P., the guy who owns the 10 acres behind us. He said that he’s retired and bought several lots that he split up and rented. Yeah, you heard right - he’s renting the four lots in back. I move out in the middle of nowhere and I still have renters next to me to deal with! They may not be subsidized blacks or Mexicans that are three feet away, but tell me they’re not going to be noisy and I’ll tell you you’re full of shit! Tom says the worst thing they’ll do is trash their place, but I know better. If no car stereos are blasting in and out, which Tom says its electrical connectors couldn’t hold up to over these bumpy roads, then there’ll be loud music coming from their houses. And remember, they make even the dumpiest stereos so bassy nowadays, that it doesn’t even have to be “loud” to be heard in our house. Tom says we’re too far away for them to blast music loud enough for us to hear cuz it’d blow their eardrums out. No, it wouldn’t. Dogs bark loud enough for us to hear without blowing their owner’s eardrums out. Granted, they are outdoors, but that’s just the thing - I think they’ll have windows open and music playing from outside.

We know there’ll be dogs to listen to, cuz George told us one of the guys moving in is planning on getting a Retriever. Yeah, I’m sure he is.

He says he only has two of the four lots rented so far, and that he was gonna buy our lot too, to split and rent, but I guess something was on next door’s side. OK, great. God looks out for them, but who looks out for me? And I let George know just how I feel, too. He claims he’s gonna sell, but so what? It’s still too many damn people over there. That’s all the more dogs and people I have to listen to till we get a wall up, and even then, nothing blocks out the sound perfectly.

He says they’re moving in next week, and that one more house is to be brought in. So the house we thought was on the closest lot to us isn’t really the closest to us. There’s gonna be three houses running non-parallel to our land in the back, then one property behind the three properties. The front house, which I guess isn’t rented yet, may sort of buffer sounds from the two behind it, but still, I know they’re gonna be a problem. And I’m not gonna call George (he gave us his card) when the parties get out of hand. I’m not gonna be stupid enough to complain to him just so he can tell them to quiet down so they can get even noisier. I simply have to take care of this one myself, and I will. No more neighbors’ noise! I mean it! They’re not gonna force their noise and their lifestyles on me. I’ll be damned if I’ll put up with their shit, and I don’t care what color they are! I won’t stand for it out there in our new home! And I was a fool to think God was finally releasing me from his near-decade-long obsession with pummeling me with neighbor’s noise! Yeah well, this is it. It’s over! I’ll fight for my right to peace within the walls of my own home even if it means getting a gun and killing them all.

Tom says he’s 97% sure that all we’ll hear from them are dogs. Yeah, right! And pigs can fly. Well, I’ll shut them up ASAP. I’m not taking another 8 years of this fucking shit everywhere I go.

I reminded Tom that before we even bought the land I vibed it building up and getting noisy once we moved in. Well, these renters moving in are quite a coincidence so far, wouldn’t you say? Especially when I have an 80% accuracy rate.

I also reminded him that Dan was upset about all this too, and that had to be a reason. He said Dan would be worried about them not maintaining their place, not about them being noisy. If it were a case of them simply trashing the place - fine. Any trash that made it to our property would be barely noticeable what with how big it is, unlike with the filthy Mexicans in Phoenix.

George said that in the farthest house were three people. Two kids and one adult, I thought, cuz I saw two little boys head over there twice, but Tom thinks it’ll be one kid and two parents. In the middle will be a single guy with a girlfriend and this is the one I’m more worried about as far as music, parties, and vehicles coming and going, but Tom says he thinks it’ll be a guy like Dan.

Later…

I have more bitching I want to do about the problem coming behind us, but first, we went to Game Works again and I had fun playing skeeball again. Then I found the best ticket-spitting game I wish I had known about all along. It’s this needle that spins till you stop it, and you win the number of tickets it lands on. Of course, I missed the jackpot several times by one spot. I think most of these games are rigged like most slot machines are in casinos. Anyway, it was a lot of fun playing both games, although next time I’m just gonna play this spin thing and rake in the tickets so I can get more little velour teddy bears. This time, though, we set out to win 1000 tickets, and according to the guy at the prize counter, I had 1040 tickets, after we counted something like 850. Tom says they usually say you have more. I guess so. So, I got what I wanted most - a disco light. It’s really cool. Nice and colorful. I have it going now in our hotel room.

Later…

Changed my mind. For 600 tickets, I think I’ll get a lava lamp or one of those lights with purple streaks of light that look like lightning bolts.

I was pissed to find no one came to the house at all. No carpet layers, no APS, no well drillers - no one. Tom still believes we’ll be in the house by Thanksgiving. I wish, but that ain’t what I think! I think we have another 2-2½ weeks to go and that we won’t get in there till just after my b-day.

Now for the latest Andy news - I did get mail from him after all. I was wondering when he, or someone, was gonna forward mail to me. Someone other than Paula, Kim, or Bob.

It took me a few minutes to remember and unravel the mystery. When Tom came in he gave me an envelope with no return on it and I immediately recognized my own handwriting. I knew I didn’t send myself anything, though, and wondered if Tom was playing a joke on me, even though this didn’t seem to be his style. Then I remembered. When Andy went through all that bullshit talk about moving back east, I sent him font samples to pick out for letters and enclosed a SASE for him to mail me his selections back in. He never used that envelope, though. I never knew why he didn’t, and I never questioned it, but he used this envelope and enclosed one of my little sheets of paper with mumbo-jumbo on it. But what surprised me was - that was it? No writing or decorations on the envelope? No enclosing anything else, like a fuck you letter? He really does hate to write.

Tom said that it gets even weirder, cuz we’ve got mail waiting for us that’s too big for our box. At first I thought it was a CD from one of his computer clubs or something like that since I couldn’t imagine anyone I knew sending me something that big, but then Tom said he knew what it was - our house payment coupons.

I called Jamie at the doll store who said the dress wouldn’t be ready for another couple of weeks. That’s OK. She won’t be together for a few weeks yet, anyway.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 1999 We’re at my favorite hotel now - the Fairfield Inn. He just left for work and I’m finishing up the laundry here which sure beats Laundromats! We’re on the first floor for the first time, at the end of the hall. The washer/dryer is at the other end of the hall by the front desk, so I don’t have to lug the clothes up and down the elevator.

I decided that “mysterylin” has to go. If I’m gonna change cites and addresses, I may as well change screen names, too. This way I can unlock my mail controls when I want to without having to worry about hearing from anyone I don’t want to hear from. I thought of names like doll99, rodent99, but I think I’ll try for desertwinds99.

Later…

Laundry’s all done. So now I’ll cover what we did today, things about the house, then the bad news last.

After leaving the land, we stopped at Circle K in Maricopa for cookies for both of us, coffee for me, and soda for him. Then we went through a drive-through near the here, then came here. We came at 1:00 and were told no rooms would be available till 3:00, so we sat out front for a while browsing through truck ads. Only a few looked like they had any potential. We got machines or no answer on most of them, but there’s this one we may check out.

We went to K-Mart to look at household things we want for the house, but all I got, since the car and trailer are pretty packed and since I don’t want to put anything in the house till it’s carpeted, was a picture I didn’t expect to get. It’s a pretty good size for just $6, too. I was looking for desert cactus pictures, but instead, I came across a picture of a beautiful Indian woman (a copy of an oil painting).

For window treatments, we have flowers and crisscross lines in the master suite (bedroom, bath, and retreat). The den and living room have this very boring yellow and dark blue pattern, the kitchen has crisscross lines, and the other three bedrooms have stripes. The stripes are fairly colorful, and they can stay cuz I really don’t have to worry about them clashing with anything. The retreat’s flowers and crisscross designs can stay too, but the bedroom has to go. I want to get solid-colored drapes in there, so they won’t clash with the comforter. I want a white or cream-colored lace for the kitchen, and I’m not sure about the den and living room. The bathroom windows are frosted and they don’t open. Maybe I’ll take the flowers and crisscrosses that are in the master bath and put them in the den since all they really need is the lace valance under it. And maybe I’ll wrap my silk flower vine around the living room rod.

The lowest part of the ceiling is 7’ and the highest is 9’. I’ve got three walls picked out where there’s no slant above it where the wall/ceiling meets for mini-murals. I still may get borders too, but definitely not door murals.

I don’t exactly have a place to hang wind chimes yet so I sort of wish one of our ugly minute trees, which have a lot of bare branches, were near the house. I could hang them on that.

Perhaps it’s only normal, and perhaps it’s lazy stupid Mexicans and their sloppy workmanship, but we’ve been finding some imperfections with the house. The breakfast bar is tilted. Maybe it won’t show as much with stuff on it, though. Also, they put the dining room light switch in an odd place; on the back wall by the door. The fucking cocks did a sloppy, half-assed job with the trim on the bottom of the kitchen island, and only half a trim job in the entry area. The fourth bedroom’s door doesn’t close all the way and needs sanding. We have a lot of wall panel staples showing too, that we have to caulk.

Hopefully, the carpet will be down tomorrow. Then he can call Hilda to see if a cleaning crew is gonna go through there or what. I’d hope so cuz it’ll be a lot of cleaning to be done, but at the same time, I may as well do it myself to get in faster. We just want in!!! Even if that means tying up loose ends ourselves.

I’m getting a bit tired, so if I don’t get to the shitty news today, I will tomorrow. Tom says I have nothing to worry about other than typical dog-barking. God, I hope he’s right!!!!!

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 1999 Starting off on a sad note - Vanilla Belly died today. Tom told me he didn’t think he was acting right ever since moving here. All he seemed to me was a bit lazier, but I guess something was wrong all along and I just didn’t see it. Tom buried him in front of the trailer. I’m gonna really miss him. He was a bit shy but very loving. He was so big and I liked how he looked like your traditional brown rat, yet also had a touch of color. He had a sprinkle of white hairs besides a patch of what on his belly and chest.

He never appeared to have any tumors, and neither did/does Mocha, who seems to be dying, too. It’s the weirdest thing I ever saw. When I got her, she looked like a normal mouse who was pregnant, but now she doesn’t look pregnant at all, and her back legs look odd. Like they’ve been disjointed and are too long for her. It’s like they’re suddenly deformed and are sticking out at the hips too, making her look anorexic. Tom said he thought she looked like she was having trouble breathing. Yeah, I thought so too, but she is getting around. I’ve even seen her wheeling.

Today was a pretty leisurely day. I didn’t go anywhere for the first time in ages (it was dead quiet all day, and I heard very little after-dark barking), but he did. He went to get us some lunch and to get more gas. He also dug a hole behind the trailer to dump the shit tank in. It stunk, too!

Baby Scuttles is really growing. I want him to stay my cute little Scuttles, but I also want him to get fat enough for the other cage so he can’t squeeze through the bars.

Last night I slept with an earplug in. The foam kind that was pretty useless for me in the NHA, and it did great for blocking out his snoring, but he did wake me up a few times when he shook me awake by shaking the trailer when he’d toss and turn, then when he got up.

I never finished with all we did on Friday.

We went to a Chinese/American buffet, then to a close-out store next door. I bought an OK-fitting skirt for $5 and a shitty-fitting dress for $5. As Tom agreed, it wasn’t cut right, and that’s why it ended up at that store.

I got a bundle of purple flowers with a touch of yellow. I know the name of these flowers but forgot them. I’ve got to get some vases, though.

Tom picked up a cheap set of utensils and a small frying pan for making hot dogs.

Oh, I also got a couple of silver pin barrettes to hold my bangs to the side.

Later on, at the grocery store, I got a cute little musical doll which I named Melanie. It plays the Barbara Streisand song The Way We Were. It’s a sitting doll with a nice face for just $13. She has brown hair, green eyes, and wears a dress whose color is a cross between maroon and brown. She has white patterned stockings with cream-colored shoes. Her hair has two braids on each side of her head. As figures, though, her music box broke shortly after I got it. Such shit doll luck.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 1999 The dogs have settled in for another night of barking. Last night was the worst dog-barking night since we’ve been here. It began as the sun was setting, as usual, and continued on till around midnight. Some of the dogs sounded close enough to be loose and on our property, but we didn’t find any tracks. Maybe some were coming from next door. Having them live two football fields away isn’t always helpful when you’ve got nothing in between to buffer sounds, but we’ll get a wall up of some kind. At least it’s only for a few hours a day, and it sure beats noisy blacks and Mexicans with their fucking ball games and music blaring a few feet away.

No more Friday night stress! Normally, I’d be so stressed out at this time, knowing their company had to be mine too, but no more!

I hope these Mexicans are really dumping their shit on those greedy fucks that bought our house. They did send Hilda a bill, after all. The moochers wanted more than $250, but Hilda let them know that’s all they’re getting. I made Tom promise not to give them one more dime if they try to weasel more money out of us in a few months from now and to drive me to that house to deal with them in person. He agreed. He said he’s only giving them the money to avoid the hassle of having to go to court even though we know damn well we’d win cuz they never set up a final walk-through.

Well, they’ll hear from me one last time and that’s my promise. It just may not be for a while.

We think one of the reasons so many dogs suddenly start going off at sundown is cuz of the coyotes. Coyotes get more active and start howling when it gets dark. We were outside earlier and heard about three of them howling and it sounded so cool.

I’ve seen some wild horses in some of the really deserted pieces of land.

Tom says that the land in front of us isn’t part of this subdivision. It’s not part of an Indian reservation, but it could be some kind of government land. We’ll have to see if we can find out who owns the land in front and to our right and what their plans are.

It’ll be a shame when they tear down “psycho soldier’s” house. This is an abandoned single-wide trailer a few miles from here with military camouflage on it.

It’s a surprise just how many deserted houses there are out here. Also, there’s such a huge mix of nice houses and rundown ones. Mostly rundown ones, though, that are pretty old.

Tom said Maricopa must be a bit of a depressing town filled with broken dreams. This subdivision was somebody’s failed dream. The four or so acres of dead trees in the center of town are obviously someone’s dead dream. We’re not sure what the trees were and what they were supposed to do with them, though.

Speaking of my dream, which is to get moved into that house for once and for all, I’m finding little things I’m not too thrilled with, but I understand that nothing and no one’s perfect. The stupid Mexican left a globe off one of the lights. Also, Tom says he thinks Brian’s done a good job, but I feel like he’s been cutting corners and weaseling out of jobs like putting door handles on all the doors. We agreed we’d do these little things ourselves so we can get in there faster, like cover some of the wall board’s staples that are showing, but we shouldn’t have to. This should’ve been done already.

At least Brian’s leaving us some goodies. Wall strips, caulking, and odds and ends like that.

I marked my vibes on the calendar with Tom yesterday and some of them aren’t great. I vibe the carpet layer coming Monday and the electricity being taken care of by next Wednesday, but that fucking well, among other things, like inspections, could take longer than we’d like. Tom still thinks we can get in the house between the 20th-24th, before Thanksgiving, but I don’t think we’ll be in there till the 29th or 30th. Maybe even not till the first week of December, even though we have papers guaranteeing us that we’ll be in by December 1st.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 1999 Back at the trailer now till Sunday. I ended up enjoying my stay at the Fairfield Inn, even though last night was bangier than the first night. There were more people. Just for the hell of it, I called the room next door and told them to shut up. “You have the wrong number,” the cock was saying as I was hanging up.

Thank God housekeeping at the Harley in Enfield, CT wasn’t as it is out here. Out here, housekeeping’s nothing but Mexicans. No white people at all do hotel housekeeping.

Like an idiot, I slept till he came in at 10:00 and brought me a letter from Paula. It was a nice letter I was happy to get and I did write back, explaining all the events from when we left Phoenix till now. She enclosed two pictures. One of her son and one of her car. Like I really care? I mean, I’m glad she’s got a car and her son’s nice, but what about her? I’m just not meant to ever get a picture of her. She did, however, request my email address saying she wanted to send me pictures, so who knows? I let her know, though, that I won’t have access to the computer for a while yet.

She basically asked why she hadn’t heard from me. She enclosed a phone number, but I’m not gonna call. Nor am I gonna give her our cell phone number. I explained that we have to pay for incoming calls we get and that we ain’t that rich (although I’m sure we’re just about the richest people in Maricopa. One look at our house will tell you that much. Also, we made over $32,000 this year). I told her we probably won’t get regular phone service, even though in truth, I’m sure we will. I just don’t want to go back to the constant calls from her, even if she pays for them. I gave her our PO Box address.

Here we go again with the barking. Yeah, it’s been a bad dog night. There must’ve been a loose dog nearby cuz its barking sounded too close to have been coming from the nearest houses. I’ve heard barking coming from all different directions.

After leaving the hotel we went to Game Works again where we played that skeeball game again that I like and a couple of slot machine games, too. We won nearly 400 tickets and I got a yellow teddy bear, and a purple and a blue picture frame to go with my pink one.

We bought most of our furniture too, and I think I may’ve forgotten to write about the living room set we bought a few weeks ago. Both stores we got furniture from are gonna deliver to us, but before we knew this, Dennis, who’s so incredibly nice, offered to haul it here in this truck for us. He’s also gonna hunt really hard to find us a truck. Well, we certainly haven’t had any luck ourselves.

Anyway, the living room set I chose isn’t what I expected. It’s better. It’s a soft crushed velvet-like type of material. It’s solid black with gold trim. We got a couch, a loveseat, and a chair. Got three glass tables too, with gold and black. The tables we can fit in the car. The tables are tempered glass. Not the wood and light-colored floral fabric I planned on originally, but man is it gorgeous!

Got a beautiful gold spider lamp to go with it, and I almost bought this other really gorgeous lamp, but I decided to make my own instead. It had a mauve-colored shade with mauve-colored flowers in a glass bass, but I decided to get K-Mart’s glass jar lamps and put some of my own silk flowers in it.

We got two black stools for the breakfast bar and a black kitchen table with four black velvet chairs with gold and blue streaks throughout the sets and backs.

Instead of getting a tall dresser, a headboard, and two nightstands for the bedroom, I got one nightstand and a long dresser. These are whitewashed with gold trim. The nightstand has two drawers, and the dresser has a mirror.

Now all we need to get is a washer, dryer, entertainment center, computer desk, and a brown wooden nightstand to match the brown wooden dresser in the guest room, and a double bed for that room, too.

We’ve spent a total of $2,406.31 on furniture so far. Tom thinks we’re right on track, but I think we’re ahead of what we budgeted by $400-$600.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 1999 This hotel is turning out to be the best. The only thing it lacks is a coffeemaker, but I don’t mind going downstairs for coffee. They have both decaf and regular to choose from, and they have French vanilla.

It’s been quiet overall. Just a few scattered door slams. Tom said the walls are wicked soundproof cuz as he was leaving for work last night he could hear next door’s TV blaring into the hall which we never heard in here.

Tom called at 8:00 and got me up, then he called again after he ate a half-hour later. He went to see his ma and do Mary’s threshold, then I headed down to the continental breakfast where there was only one person. There haven’t been many people here.

As I was heading out, I saw the younger Mexican girl who changed our sheets standing by her cart. I asked her in English for a Do Not Disturb sign since we never had one. I should’ve known better than to have asked in English, so I asked in Spanish and then she called out in Spanish to Mario, the maintenance guy as the old Mexican lady (the boss) that was with the younger one yesterday came up to me and said, “Yes?” I asked again for a sign and they gave me one. The older one then moved further down the hall and in Spanish I told the younger one we didn’t need service today as Mario and I were heading for the elevator. The older one called, “Senora? No servicio hoy?”

I replied, “No servicio, gracias,” then hopped into the elevator.

“Beautiful Spanish,” complimented Mario.

When I returned, the young one smiled at me with mixed emotions. It was cool that the white girl knew Spanish, but she had to have gotten a verbal warning, if not a written one, for not changing our sheets.

Although Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, and the like are notoriously lazy, I understand how easy it is for anyone to want to laze out of a bed or two. I know. I was once a housekeeper too, and here and there I didn’t bother changing sheets, but I was smart enough to at least pluck the hairs off first.

I dozed off for about an hour this morning, then when Tom came in at 10:00 and extended us for another night, we were given a bag of treats cuz of the sheets. This was a really nice gesture. It contained two small bottles of water, two bags of cookies, two Ritz crackers, two rice crispy bars, figs, and cheese crackers.

We headed for the house to take care of the animals and check the house’s progress. At least Brian’s making good time cuz Gravity’s not, and who knows when we’ll have a well.

My view from my “office” is really neat. I can see a row of about half a dozen palm trees off in the distance that’s a few miles away. Right now, there’s nothing but a little bit of natural desert and a lot of farmland in front of the house.

Here goes Tom talking in his sleep again. I couldn’t make out what he said this time.

We spent about a half-hour on the land where I ruined my sunglasses. They just weren’t dark enough, so I painted them purple, using the paint I used on the plastic suncatcher, hoping to darken them. Instead, all I did was make it too rippely so I couldn’t see well through them.

After we left, we went through a drive-through, came up here, and now he’s in bed. I’ll be listening to music and latch-hooking for the remainder of the day.

Later…

I guess it’s not gonna be very full tonight, either. I just went downstairs for coffee and I never passed a soul along the way.

Later…

Again I didn’t pass a soul.

I finished the second out of a 4-book series of V.C. Andrew’s. It’s a little series compared to the other two I read that had 5 books with 400 pages each. This 4-book series only has 150 pages each. Actually, there is a fifth book in this series (I don’t know how many pages), but it’s not due out till next month.

Tom finally received his yearly planner and pen from Ashton-Drake.

I forgot to describe the games we played yesterday. He played a basketball one, but it didn’t give tickets. Another game we played against each other, which also didn’t give tickets, was a mini bowling game thing. We played a slot machine-type game, and a Jet Ski race that you sit on and that shakes while you see an image of a jet water skier on a big screen in front of you. My favorite game was this thing where you throw balls down a narrow strip and up into these bins. Your points depend on which bins you get balls in.

Later…

Went downstairs and got an apple along with my coffee. They had the usual for breakfast - muffins and cereal. I think they had bagels and yogurt, too. This morning I grabbed a couple of mini chocolate chip muffins. I better enjoy all this eating now, cuz as soon as we get into that house, all this eating has to stop, and it will stop.

I’ve decided to place one call to Andy each time we’re in a hotel. I’ll leave hang-up messages when he doesn’t answer. He answered when I called him just now, but I hung up as soon as he did. I wasn’t in the mood tonight to hear anything he may’ve said. Having Tom right here kind of dampens my curiosity, too.

I wonder if Andy ever got the numbers I called from. I wonder if he’d have been confused getting numbers from the La Quinta, the Hampton, and here. Or maybe he figured we were in the house already (I never mentioned the layover) and that I wouldn’t be dumb enough to allow him to get my number. It’s quite amusing to think about, but I’m certainly not gonna be doing this in the house, even if I can block our number from there and even if it’s not long distance. This is strictly a hotel game.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 1999 Got my period today (a crampless one). Must be why he came yesterday. I doubt he’ll do that again till April. At least I can never get pregnant and have to lose my life! This is how much I know God is on my side too - he’ll make sure something comes up so we can’t even get together at “prime time,” rather than get together without cumming. My hormones are what I believe God used to ensure me a life of freedom. I really think my hormone levels are wacky somehow.

We’re now at the Fairfield Inn, which is quiet so far, and gives you candy, but is otherwise not very good. Those damn Mexicans. They just can’t do anything right. It was obvious our sheets hadn’t been changed. I could tell by all the hairs on the sheets. So I had them change it. We got a king-size bed just like last time at the Hampton.

Later…

It’s still been pretty quiet here; just a few door slams. I can’t believe hotel doors weren’t created to close quietly. You’d think they’d consider that.

OK, let me cover the day’s events before I get backed up again and end up having more than just one day to update.

We left right after Brian arrived to work on the house. We were inside it right before he came. It’s now joined enough that you can walk throughout the inside, but you have to step around screws and over rolls of carpet and other supplies.

After leaving, we ate at a drive-through, then Tom took us to Game Works. He still had about $15 left in games that he got through the bank. It was fun and we ended up getting nearly 180 tickets from games which we traded in for stuff. I got a few beaded necklaces, a picture frame with stringy, pink shiny crinkled paper around it, and a finger puzzle. I didn’t even know what that was, but he insisted I get it, then showed me how it worked. It’s a little tube of woven straw that you put a finger in, then pull on and get your finger stuck in. You have to sort of scrunch the tube together in order to get your finger out.

Tom slept for a few hours after we checked in here, then we went to Marie Calendar’s, and now he’s asleep again till I get him up at 11:00. Marie Callender’s is a huge restaurant. He got a burger and I got the baby-backed ribs/jumbo shrimp combo. It was pretty good.

Out of all the places we stayed, each has its pros and cons. I like how this place has coffee available in the lobby 24 hours a day. They even have laundry available. Although there was only one washer and one dryer, I was surprised to see them unused and without a ton of people waiting to use them. I’m sure that if I had wanted to use them, there’d be a ton of people trying to use them, too. Although the tub is shitty, cuz its back is straight up and down so you can’t comfortably lay back, this place has the best shower. Most places are too wimpy, but this one’s got a massager on it, so you can make it pretty hard.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 1999 Brian and a guy named Brandon came to level and join the house today. They were working everywhere; on the roof, underneath, inside.

When we were in the living room yesterday, we could see several other things besides rolls of carpet. There were extra roofing shingles, the air duct, etc.

It’s just so cool having a house custom-built like this! It’s such a neat feeling to be able to look at the house’s color and know that it’s that color cuz I chose it. There’s tulip wallpaper in the kitchen and baths cuz I chose it. The cabinets are whitewashed cuz I chose it.

The shower stalls are pretty neat. They have seats in them. But who wants to sit down while they’re showering? Maybe an old person.

We left the Hampton, which was noisier than it ever was before, at 10:30. We were right by the stairs which were where a lot of the noise came from. I was shocked at how many people used the stairs.

It’s amazing the contrast in Andy since I left Phoenix. People sure are different when they pissed at you. He told me so many times - I’m such a loser, Jodi. I have no life. Yet now he suddenly has a life. How convenient.

I wasn’t fat the last time he saw me, but now I’m fat and ugly.

Well, hopefully he can remember the good times, but if he doesn’t - he doesn’t and that’s just too bad for him.

I asked Tom what he thinks next door thinks about us moving in (they probably took a look at the size of the house and assumed we’re Mormons). He says they’re probably anxious and uncertain, now knowing what to expect. Good. Let some neighbor feel that way about us for a change. It’s about time the tables turned. It’ll be my turn to have those feelings again, though, the more things build up. Wait till all these little boys grow up to get loud car stereos and to have loud, wild parties while their parents are off vacationing somewhere.

He didn’t get to Mary’s today so we did the laundry in Tempe in a quiet place.

Tom had to pee so bad that we stopped at the AK-Chin casino cuz he didn’t think he could make it to the trailer. We gambled $10 each. He doubled his money and I lost mine, so it ended up costing nothing.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 1999 Gosh, I’m getting more and more backed up! We’re at the Hampton now (his pick), but actually, I’m here by myself cuz he’s at work.

Last Thursday night we stayed at the Holiday Inn, which was $20 more than the average hotel rate around here. It was the best-decorated hotel, with lots of cactus decorations, and it had laundry rooms but wasn’t worth the $20 extra in our opinion.

Friday we went to Casa Grande to get home insurance, then to a really nice buffet.

Sounds like it’s finally quieted down around here. This time around is not as quiet as the other times we were here.

We had our first visitor on our land that wasn’t a neighbor. A woman was doing a neighborhood census. She came knocking on the trailer door since it was more than obvious no one would be living in a house with two separate halves side by side with their inside sides covered with plastic.

Anyway, after Dan, the cowboy, and his Mexican assistant had been around a while, I finally got to meet Gravity. As Dan said - he’s a big boy. Maybe his mother knew somehow that he’d grow up to be so big and heavy and that’s why she named him Gravity. It suits him so well. He brought a Mexican assistant too, the other Mexican’s cousin.

Gravity had his tractor in tow, which he used to dig a trench and hole for our septic/pipes.

Unfortunately, we had to miss seeing the house be hauled in. They were just finishing up as we were pulling in, and I wasn’t too thrilled to see one of the drivers was letting his German Shepherd run around our property. I would’ve ordered it into the truck had they not left when they did. How rude. Not just because some of us are afraid of dogs, but because it’s rude to let your dog out to shit and piss on someone else’s property.

The cowboy had to return the next day to add the grounding rod to the utility pole they put by one corner of the house whose halves were within inches of each other. That’s to prevent people from having an easier way of stealing your appliances, even if that’d be so very unlikely to happen. The chances of that happening where we are are next to nil. Dan did say things weren’t very good a few years ago, though, and that bad people moved out of the area. I don’t know what he meant by “bad” people. I don’t know if he meant burglars or just plain old snobs. The people that are there now sure seem to be the direct opposite of Phoenix folks. So many people wave to us on certain dirt roads out there. Nobody waves in Phoenix. They’re too busy blasting music and slamming doors for people.

Tomorrow morning he’s gonna do our laundry at Mary’s while he visits his ma, then we’re gonna check out a truck for sale in Maricopa I had a hot vibe on.

I can’t wait to type this up on the computer, and as always, my typed versions may slightly differ from my written ones, as I change/add/delete things. I don’t usually delete, though.

I’m on my third V.C. Andrews series, and never before have I ever heard of such a repetitious writer! Everything that happens in one series happens in another, and talk about being loaded with childbirth! Yeah, babies, childbirth, and the like still seem to be everywhere, in everything I do, see, and hear. And I thought I was once obsessed with the subject! The shit’s invading my new home. Tom found an easy way into the back half through the utility door, and so I walk through the den, into the kitchen, and what do I see? A woman feeding a baby in a picture on an ad on the dishwasher! I’m like - Jesus Christ, here we go again! It’s everywhere, and I still get the feeling that God’s got some message behind it, but what hidden meaning could I be missing that’d make any sense?

I called Andy again, curious to hear what he may say. As always, I kept silent. I have nothing more to ever say. My final words were already mailed to him, and as he said, “You got what you wanted, I read it all.”

He was so mean to Michelle tonight. I don’t know if that was really Michelle I heard in the background or not, but either way, what a mean thing to say regarding her.

The first time I called, he picked up, said hello twice, then called out, “It’s Mystery. Wanna torture her?” (pause) “No, we don’t want to talk to you. We have a life.”

Yeah, a life of smoking pot.

The second time I called, no one answered.

The third time, he again asked whoever the girl was if she wanted to talk to Mystery, then he said, “Well, start chewing. You’re gonna be as fat as Michelle. You’re gonna have to share clothes with her.”

I don’t care if someone ranked on me for how I look, but most people do, so that’s why I was like - how mean to Michelle! Michelle, you got a damn good friend in Andy!

Sadly, I’m sure she thinks so, although I can’t forget or deny that Andy and I did have some fun times in the past.

Anyway, Gravity plowed the ground under where the house would be and made it read powdery. Then he put stakes marking the house’s corners.

When I was walking around the house with tears of joy and disbelief a couple of evenings ago, words from a decade ago popped into my head. Back in ‘89, shortly after I’d returned to Woodside Terrace, I cleaned houses for a guy a few different times. I think his name was Jim. He drove me to a house in…Chicopee? Wilbraham? Either way, it was a gorgeous house I’d only end up cleaning once since I couldn’t really hold jobs and handle responsibility in those days. I remember being very sad, and telling the woman who owned it how depressing it was to know I’d never have a nice house, too. Her response - “Someday you’ll have a house that’ll make this one look sick.

She was right. So very right. I never would’ve believed it in a million years. A house like what we got just seemed too impossible of a dream to even dare to dream.

How lucky I am to have all my dreams come true, and those that haven’t, aren’t dreams of mine anymore.

No blessing is free of flaws, though. The fucking Mexicans put dual faucets in the baths, rather than a single lever one, but Tom says it’s more likely that Steven fucked up the order, or we didn’t get that package in the end. Well, at least I got more counter space than I thought we’d get in the master bath. Also, you know how I opted for dual linen cabinets in there rather than dual sinks? Well, one of the cabinets is huge! And just like with the kitchen cabinets, they’ve got adjustable shelves.

Also, not only are the cabinets the whitewash I chose over the oak but so are the doors! They’re even brighter than the cabinets (white) and are so bright and cheery compared to dark wood.

I got more than I thought I would as far as the Catalina window treatments go. I got like five different designs instead of three, and they’re just too “clashy.” The den and living room ones are ugly with shades of yellow and dark blue, and I think they’ll clash with my other decorations, so I’ll probably remove most of them. I didn’t know they were gonna mix so much together. I didn’t know there’d be lines with flowers, and I didn’t know I’d have a wooden floral border in the bathroom above the windows. This may go too, but I love the white lace under it. Both baths have frosted windows, too. They don’t open, either. This is OK, though, cuz we have fans to vent moisture.

Yesterday, a guy whose name we forgot came to level one side of the house, which took all day. Tomorrow, he’s gonna do the other half and join them together, too.

It was pretty neat watching him move the back half away from the front a foot or two. He had hydraulic jacks and as he was cranking this cable, the house slowly moved. It was so funny too, cuz it looked like this bionic man was moving a 22,000-pound house half (I think the front half’s 20,000). Our 2100-square-foot house is about as big as they come. At 76’ long, it took forever to walk alongside it!

Anyway, the guy leveled the front half with a level and water level (a hose). He put metal, cone-shaped stands on top of square cement slabs. Two rows of 15. He left his trailer there, as he asked to, and we nosed about it after he quit work for the day. He had all different size stands, among other things. We’re gonna put skirting around the house since we chose to keep it elevated, but it doesn’t look that ugly without it.

We got here at around 11:00 this morning, but they didn’t have a room ready yet, so we checked out a nearby arts and crafts store where I got a latch hook kit with a piano and rose design, a “stain glass” floral sun catcher, and he got a rock tumbler. I might have fun playing with that myself. We have a lot of quartz rock on our land.

The stained glass thing is a sheet of clear plastic with raised lines outlining the flowers that you apply acrylic paints to, and glitter too, if you want, then hang it in a window. It’s pretty cool looking.

I thought Tom was gonna punish me by avoiding having sex this weekend, cuz I lost my appetite for it last weekend, thanks to the little animals at the La Quinta, but I was wrong. We not only screwed, but he got off. And I had laughed at him, saying I’d heard that before when he told me yesterday that our sex would be fine for making babies once we got into the house. I’m sure it would be for a man who came regularly and a woman who could conceive, and who was meant to conceive. But, not that I’m complaining, he probably won’t cum again this century, and I can’t and aren’t supposed to conceive. Not in this life, anyway.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 1999 I wasn’t really in the mood to write yesterday, but I am now, even if it doesn’t last long.

As I was saying about Dan - he says he knows most people around here and he too, isn’t happy that the lot behind us was split into four properties. He says there’s an older woman next door, her daughter, her daughter’s husband, and their 5-year-old son. The couple works in Casa Grande while the older woman watches the boy. The daughter had a fiancée die nearby in a car accident years ago.

Tom, who talked with Dan more than I did, said he was nosy and talkative, but at least he found out the phone prefix out here. The stupid phone company had the nerve to suggest we ask someone out here about prefixes after swearing they have our address in their records and telling us we’re in Stanfield, a little town nearby.

Anyway, Dan, who’s from Indiana, and who goes there during the summers, says next door watches his place while he’s gone, and that they’re nice people.

Where did all this friendliness come from? You mean, there really is such a thing as quiet and friendly neighbors in Arizona? Wow! Although I don’t know how quiet behind us will be once they get settled in. We’ve seen and heard two of the little boys that’ll be living there (why are there only little boys surrounding me?). Although we were too far away to tell for sure, I think they’re white, and I also heard a guy call out to a Matthew. Not a very Hispanic name.

Once they get settled in, though, as well as the rest of the people who are gonna be on that lot, I thank God they won’t be three feet away, cuz there’s gonna be a ton of screaming and barking coming from there. I know it.

We’ve seen quails, roadrunners, lizards, and about half a dozen coyotes. Tom’s seen a couple of jackrabbits, and earlier, when we were returning from Denny’s, our headlights picked up some furry rodent. Maybe a gopher? Fortunately, we have yet to see a snake here, but we did cross paths with what we’re pretty sure was a baby tarantula out on the road towards the back of the property. Tom stepped on it and killed it.

Dan says the high-pitched yipping we sometimes hear isn’t dogs - it’s coyotes. He says he has three dogs that are penned, cuz people here shoot loose dogs. Not fast enough, considering how many loose dogs we’ve seen. Since no one will take their dogs indoors out here, I wish they’d shoot any dog that was outdoors. I mentioned my not liking dogs cuz of their barking, and he said all you had to do was just get a good dog that doesn’t bark. I’m like, how? That’s what dogs do. Babies cry, cows moo, cats meow, and dogs bark. Some dogs may bark less than others, but there is no “good dog.” Not unless it was dead.

I’ve heard cows off in the distance towards the front. Cows make pleasant sounds, but they sure do stink! I hope this place doesn’t end up smelling like one big horse stall. Driving by these huge stockyards in Stanfield is miserable. Totally gross smelling.

God, I wish I had the computer to do all the writing I want to do! I miss it! At least I got to listen to my stereo today for a while.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 1999 It’s here! The house is here! But it came today, not yesterday. Yesterday was both a great day and a disappointing one. Tom was called at work by Hilda, who said the house was on its way. He woke me when he got in at 8:00, but no one showed up till around 9:00, and it wasn’t the house. It was Gravity’s assistants, who never did introduce themselves. They were nice, though. The driver, a middle-aged white guy, was accompanied by a young Mexican guy. He spoke virtually no English, so while the “cowboy,” as we call him, talked with Tom, Mr. Mexico and I gabbed in Spanish. He complimented my Spanish, which I was surprised at myself, considering how long it’s been since I used it regularly. Or at least a lot more than I do now. I taught him some English words. Maybe it was my imagination or maybe I’m just crazy, but I think the guy liked me. Don’t get me wrong. He was very polite and never once stepped out of line in any way, but I was like - I’m 33 years old, dude. Not to mention a good 20-25 pounds overweight. Couldn’t he see this? Although there are no laws saying you can’t be attracted to a middle-aged overweight person (even if no one else agrees with the overweight part). After the cowboy and his pal arrived, a middle-aged, skinny white guy pulled up alongside our property in a small white pickup, walked over to us with his hand extended, and introduced himself as our neighbor Dan. He lives alone in a single-wide modular diagonally to us. Behind next door (it figures that the childless guy has to be diagonal and not next to or behind us and I know damn well that whoever ends up next to us on the other side and in front will be anything but childless).

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 1999 It’s the eve of the house! It’s so hard to believe it’ll be here tomorrow. I just hope nothing goes wrong. We don’t need any incompetent fuck-ups working for us. As it is, we’re wondering things. Things like - why didn’t Palm Harbor check out what roads they’d be driving the house on? When are they gonna get trees and shit like that out of the way? They have to widen the road. The house is way too wide for it. Remember, most of these dirt roads out here only get a few cars a day on them. We’re so remote that we make Tammy seem like she’s in a little city. She can get to a store sooner than 20 minutes, and she doesn’t have 7 miles of dirt roads to drive on before she hits paved roads. Her nearest neighbors aren’t two football fields away, either. Aside from the few main 2-lane dirt roads, most of the dirt roads are single-lane roads that look more like large paths. Some of these roads are actually driveways leading to people’s houses.

Anyway, all I can do for now is hope everyone knows what they’re doing; the people driving the two house halves, Gravity and his crew, APS, the well driller, etc. It’s the damn well permit we’re waiting on. We may be able to get the house set up quickly with electricity and septic but be delayed from moving in cuz of the well, which will hold up the inspection.

They still have some standard procedures to go through too, before the house can be set up. They’ve got to level the land, clear away brush, and do a termite treatment.

I did some ant treatments today. God, I hate those ants! At least you can spot them from a distance, cuz they surround their holes with those weeds that have those stickers I hate. They peel off the little stickers and use those. I don’t know why they do this, but they haul pieces of it that are barely a quarter of an inch long and place them around their holes. I’ve seen them at work carrying the things. They have big black ants as well as little red ants.

I made myself a nice little walking trail that I not only get good exercise on but good color as well. I walk when it’s not too hot or too dark. I’d love to expand my little trail, but I can’t get by these washes too easily where the brush is too dense, and you just never know what creatures could be lurking in there. It’s still a good long trail, though. Way bigger than the perimeter of our Phoenix lot (these lots are numbered and we’re number 40).

At sundown, but while we still had enough light, I took him for a walk on the trail with me. He said he didn’t realize how far around we were going at such a bad time for snakes, and I was like, bad time for snakes?! He says snakes are out in the early mornings and early evenings and that they’re cold-blooded and cannot take heat or cold. Oh. I thought they were mostly out all through the night and were pretty much nocturnal like rats, but nope. Thank God one of us is a native and knows how this stuff works.

While we were out walking Tom said he saw them working on the houses behind us. I’m not looking forward to people moving in there! Not the people, but their dogs. A dogless household is so rare in Arizona and a dog that lives indoors is even rarer. Poor Gloria. She’s got to be going crazy with the two collies and the three dogs the people who bought our place have.

It’s still so weird that I don’t hear dogs here every night. That group of dogs that’s about a mile away were going off yesterday at dusk as we were leaving for our last night at the La Quinta, but not tonight. Tom mentioned the possibility of someone breeding greyhounds when we first heard it, and we saw one running around loose on our way into town earlier, but who knows for sure if what we heard really are greyhounds? No matter what they are, it’s nice not to hear them every evening, but I still wonder why we don’t. Just my inquisitive nature, I guess. Tom suggested it may have to do with the direction of the wind, but I doubt it. Those dogs were still loud enough and close enough to be heard even if the wind was blowing their barks away from us.

Tom refilled the trailer’s two propane tanks today and says we won’t have to empty the duty tank till we’re done with the trailer cuz it’s barely half full. That’s nice to know we don’t have to dig a hole every week to dump it. At first I was like - all this shit and we’re only half full? But we are only here a few days a week, after all.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 1999 The house should have a roof now! As Tom said, though, it would’ve been nice to see it moved from one spot to another.

The house is due on Thursday, but when are they gonna drill the well and septic?

Yesterday I finished a book and forgot to get another one from the trailer, so I bought one at K-Mart. I read 255 of its 290 pages.

After work today Tom will be at Mary’s playing car again. Just how much of our time and money will this cursed car eat up this time? It’s the water pump this time.

I got up at 8:00 when the alarm went off, made coffee in the microwave, then went to the lobby for a muffin. I returned to the room and ate it, then I let the front desk know that now would be a good time to send up housekeeping.

A woman and the supervisor, the same one that knocked yesterday, came up and were very friendly. I let them know that all I really wanted was the garbage emptied and the bed changed.

The housekeeper and I chatted a bit, and she too, left Phoenix cuz she was just as sick of everyone wanting to be on stage and in the spotlight. She too, got sick of always having to know what her neighbors were up to, like it or not.

I asked if they had lotion and the supervisor generously gave me three bottles and apologized for disturbing us yesterday. She said new people were just hired and they screwed up and had the room listed as a check-out, so she thought the room was empty. No problem, I told her.

I’ll write about my “free” breakfast later.

Later…

I expect it’ll be hours before he gets back, knowing how car jobs always turn out to be a bigger deal than expected before we go out to the land.

Yesterday was acceptable here - just a few scattered door slams. Hopefully, God will let our last day and night here be peaceful and will let me be the childless woman that I am. But with kids being made to be part of my life anyhow, you just never know.

This place is in Phoenix right on the Phoenix/Chandler border. No wonder the tightness and congestion are back. And we’re by a major freeway too, with lots of traffic to pollute the air.

I had $12 and change and went to the Cracker Barrel restaurant after the housekeepers left, and ordered breakfast. I ate that to the tune of babies crying (usual restaurant sound), then walked out without paying. I left $1.50 for the waitress’s tip, and I would’ve paid if someone had been available to take my check and money, but I was ignored long enough and decided to split. Naturally, Tom would be anything but thrilled to hear this, so I’ll just tell him I got a buck’s worth of junk from the vending machine. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. It’s nice of me to lie to him, in a sense, what with how paranoid he can get. I mean, why stress the guy out unnecessarily? I just hope he doesn’t suggest we go there later and have me end up accused in front of him, but I doubt I would. I’m sure there’d be different people later, and even if there weren’t, I wouldn’t be remembered. Most people don’t have as good of a memory as I do and that place is pretty packed, so I’m sure one walk-out every now and then wouldn’t even be noticed. Not unless the person left the check on the table.

I have news regarding Andy, but first I want to shower. I’m a grub.

Later…

I called Tom at Mary’s. Mary answered, sounding pleasant enough (I was surprised there wasn’t some hostility cuz of my getting upset with Evie). Tom was just finishing up with the car. Another surprise. I thought it’d take till 6:00. This time it ate about $50 of ours.

He’s on his way here. He suggested going through a drive-through which I happily agreed to, conveniently commenting on how sick of noisy restaurants I am. After we eat, we’ll head out to the land so I can feed the animals, and this time, remember to bring a book back with me.

Later…

Tom’s still not back. For now, I’m listening to next door slam its door, and I thought I heard a little kid over there, too. Figures, huh? Can I ever have just adults next to me?

I was surprised to learn that pets are allowed here. An old couple and their dog passed by me in the hall earlier, and I saw someone out walking dogs, too. Even Tom had said he saw people walking dogs.

Later…

That vicious, no-good rat Polar Bear decided to go for bite number two and got me on the knuckle. It bled and I put a Band-Aid on it. I swear, though, if it weren’t for Tom, I’d fucking kill that rat! Or better yet, I’d turn him loose in the desert for the coyotes and snakes. That rat just will not allow himself to be picked up unless it’s for moving/cage cleaning. And only after the others have been moved first. I bopped him a few times and yelled at him, and like I said, it’s only cuz of Tom’s pleading that I didn’t go any further. That and the fact that Vanilla Belly and Scuttles felt he deserved a little protection and jumped on him. Ratsy kind of acted like nothing was going on and he stayed on his wheel. Tom was going on and on about how he’s just an animal, he’s blind in one eye, it’s his nature to be aggressive, etc.

Then on our way back, we got held up in traffic for at least a half-hour (must’ve been something big going on). At least I remembered to bring something to read, and at least Gravity will be out to put the septic on Thursday when the house comes.

I wondered if the rat attack and the traffic jam were my punishment for the breakfast I stole this morning, but I don’t think so. It doesn’t seem harsh enough.

Anyway, APS was out at the land while we weren’t there, cuz we discovered stakes for poles they put in. So APS is on a roll, and the house and septic are on their way but will the well driller hold us up in any significant way? I kind of think so. I still feel we won’t be in that house till November 20th-29th. I hope I’m wrong for the better, though.

I had a hunch they’d mail guest’s mail and was right. I brought Bob’s letter to the front desk on my way to get a soda.

The stupid shits screwed up again today and had us down for checking-out today, and just like yesterday, our key cards expired at noon and we had to get them reprogrammed. I’m sure this had to do with us changing rooms, but either way, the service is “horrid” as Tom says. They’re totally incompetent here.

I decided that I may’ve been too forgiving in the past, but that I was being too non-forgiving with Evie. I left her a message and let her know that I was sorry I didn’t handle things well and that I understood I was being a bit immature. Also, I loved her too much to be in any hassles with her, and shouldn’t have been so selfish with my conditions. I could simply move stuff if any kids were visiting. Yes, she should’ve come to me first, and no, I won’t be so forgiving if she does something again that I don’t like, but she does have a right to discuss whatever she wants to with whomever she wants to whether or not I agree with it. Nonetheless, I hope we can get along from here on out without offending each other. I explained that we’ll be without computers for a while longer and why, then I gave her our PO box address and cell phone number.

When I told Tom about my message to Evie, he had an amused smile on his face, but what was so funny about it - I don’t know and I didn’t ask.

Wow! He’s actually snoring! A good 90% of the time he sleeps in hotels, though, he doesn’t snore for some strange reason. I wish he’d be this quiet in the trailer. And in the house, too. Then only his talking and his movements could wake me up, but he doesn’t talk that much. Not as much as he moves.

I’d have loved to have called the black bitch to see if I could get a reaction, and therefore a confirmation, that she did receive my mail. However, I couldn’t remember her damn number, and she probably would’ve been out at the time, anyway.

As for Andy - he read it all. At least that’s what he said, so maybe God did answer my prayers about that. I express myself best on paper, and I really wanted Andy, the blacks, and the Mexicans to “hear me out,” so to speak. That goes for the losers back east, too. When I’ve got something to say, I want people to listen to me in my writing. I think that the reason I prefer getting my point across in writing is that I can then edit a sentence easier if I decide I don’t quite like the way I worded it the first time around, and so I don’t get interrupted. Out of all the people I’ve had a heart-to-heart with upon moving, Doe, Art, and Larry would be the least likely to be such captivated readers. This is why I bluffed them. Hope the curiosity got to them!

Anyway, I knew Andy would be home, and wanted to see if he’d mention my mail or not. As it figured, he was on the phone for ages, so I left several hang-up messages on his machine. Sometimes I’d breathe heavily for the hell of it.

When he finally answered, I was surprised, not surprised, and baffled by what he had to say. I wasn’t surprised that he was angry and bitter and “counter-attacking” me, so to speak. He and Tom are similar in that they either accuse you of exactly what you accuse them of, or they accuse you of something, whether or not you’re guilty of it, for accusing them of something.

I was surprised that there wasn’t any trace of sadness in his voice, but hey, I dumped him. I didn’t die.

I was sort of surprised he was willing to stay on the phone as long as he did like he would with Quinn when they were having problems. I used to tell Andy he should just hang up right away on people he has trouble with and not bother giving them a second of his time, no matter how bored he is. As Andy always said, he doesn’t give up on people easily. He’s too forgiving, not that he’d forgive me any more than I’d want to resume our friendship. I just hope I haven’t upset any of his other friendships. Meaning, I hope he’s not afraid to continue his friendship with Michelle out of the paranoia that she’ll dump him.

There were two different phone calls, but of course, I never said a word. Not surprisingly, he knew it was me and said “Mystery, Mystery. You’re so bored. Such a schizophrenic, crazy loser, so bored, so bored.”

Why does he think a prank phone caller has to be bored in order to make prank phone calls? That may’ve been his case, but not mine, although I can sure get bored waiting for this house to be ready.

Then he said “You’re a phony, a fake, pretending to be my friend, and I believed it. Surprised I’m not eating? Should I get a Twinkie and continue this discussion? Everything you detest, you are. Just look in the mirror at that fat ugly face and you’ll see.” Then he hung up.

Everything I detest, I am? I don’t get that one.

When I called right back after he hung up, I wasn’t the least bit surprised to find him not answering the phone. He no doubt was seeing if he could get the number. Well, if he could, wait till he gets a hotel number, I thought. That ought to confuse him. He might now have had time to call here, though, in between my calls to him. He may not have found out where the calls came from till after our last chat.

In our last chat, he said, “If you have something to say, just say it. You wouldn’t be calling if you didn’t want to talk.”

Wrong. Very wrong, Andy. I wanted to hear you talk.

I grunted at one point, and he said, “Yeah, Jodi, I know it’s you, and you know I know it’s you, so let’s not play stupid games.”

He was getting frustrated on top of being angry by this time, then the confession came he said, “Well I obviously can’t be prank calling you now. I don’t even know your number. So if someone’s calling you now, don’t take it out on me.”

The ‘I obviously can’t be prank calling you now’ part totally confirmed my gut feeling that yes, it was him pranking us from time to time. Any innocent person would not have used that choice of words.

By this time I really was getting bored with him and hung up on him as he was saying, “What the fuck are you calling me for? You got what you want, you have no neighbors, you live alone, have no life…”

Live alone? I don’t think so! Have no life? He wishes! I have more of a life than ever before!

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 1999 We’re now on our way to see our new house!

I slept really well and got caught up on my sleep last night. We extended for another couple of nights. Hopefully, God won’t let any rowdy kids be placed next to me, but I won’t count on it.

Later…

I really oughta write before I get too backed up. I’ll finish with yesterday first.

When we checked in on the 4th floor yesterday, I had us moved to the 2nd floor shortly afterward due to kids running around screaming in the halls, knocking on doors, and slamming doors.

You don’t know how much I hate kids! I am so sick of them interfering with my day-to-day living. I can’t dine in a restaurant in peace, I can’t shop in peace, and I can’t even get a room in peace some of the time. There’s just no end to my being forced to deal with kids! I try to tell myself - at least they’re not inside your house, but still, I’m sick and tired of kids. Not that I’d have gotten very far, but I backed out of having in vitro for a reason. That reason was that I didn’t want kids to be a part of my life. I’m sick of living with blacks, Mexicans, and kids and I resent God’s forcing them on me. A person who doesn’t want kids should have the right to live without them and I wish to hell they’d have their own areas for them. They separate smokers from non-smokers in restaurants, so why can’t they have a section for kids? People want smoke-free areas, but what about scream-free areas?

Anyway, the room we were moved to is tolerable, but that doesn’t mean I won’t get stuck with the same shit next to me today or tomorrow.

My only other complaint about this place is, well, I thought DO NOT DISTURB meant exactly that. Why did a woman have to knock on the door and wake poor Tom up to ask if we wanted our room done when I put the fucking sign out? Well, now I’ll know it doesn’t do me any good to put it out if they’re just gonna knock anyway.

Anyway, this room is different than most hotel rooms, and even has a microwave and a mini-refrigerator!

The main part of the room is square, rather than a rectangle, and rather than two double beds, we’ve got a king-size bed. We can deal with that since he’s at work while I’m asleep. It not only has a big bed but it’s also got a love seat with a bed in it that folds out. Instead of the usual round table and two chairs most hotels have, we have a desk-like, rectangular table with a nice office chair.

All the pictures in here are right-side up. One of the pictures upstairs was upside down. Was the person who put it up actually that stupid? Or was it done as a joke?

We stopped at a drive-through before coming here yesterday and I got a kid’s meal cuz the adult portions tend to be too much. An interesting toy came with it. A toy car with wheels you rev up, then you set the car down and watch it take off. Tom says he loved playing with those as a kid, but I don’t remember anything like it.

Later…

Still not done with yesterday. Yesterday we walked to a nearby restaurant that was not what I expected. It had a gift shop with lots of dolls. They had nice faces and clothes and weren’t ridiculously priced. JBS Dolls are better, though.

I got shrimp, catfish, and steak fries which were excellent.

We left just before 9:00 today and although we arrived at Palm Harbor’s factory 20 minutes early, we only had to wait 5 minutes for the manager to give us a tour.

The tour was great. There was only one thing Tom wasn’t too happy with and one thing I wasn’t too happy with.

Tom wasn’t thrilled that they were putting in a furnace when all we wanted was a heat pump. He said he didn’t mention it cuz he didn’t want to risk the house being delayed and cuz it wouldn’t add to our costs.

I wasn’t too thrilled with having a Mexican-made house. There wasn’t one white person in there but the manager, but if they do the job right, other than installing a furnace we didn’t ask for, I guess it’s all right. I certainly can’t call these Mexicans welfare bums. They were rude as usual, though, staring us down.

It was nice to see they had some women there, too.

The house was further along than we expected, and Tom felt better seeing its guts. It’s one thing to be told something and another to see it. The house has 6” thick walls instead of 4” and will be packed well with insulation. I can see how well it’d cut down sound, compared to the brick house we used to have. It’ll also help with cooling/heating.

The house had its floors, walls, and some of its electrical work and plumbing. No windows or roof yet, but the roof, which was suspended nearby, was about to be placed on it after its paint dried.

It sure made me feel filthy rich and spoiled rotten to see our custom-made house being built by a total of 180 people within its assembly lines! A house I chose and designed, that nobody else has ever lived in.

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cromulentbookreview · 2 years

Text

Lost in a Cheese Trance

*wakes up*

*looks at internet*

Maybe I should check that book review blog I’m supposed to be working on. Huh, looks like I haven’t updated this book review blog since *shuffles papers* last November?

Wait, what is it now?

July? Oh. Shit.

I’d like to say my absence was for a good reason. But there wasn’t. I’m just lazy. Plus, there were so many digital advanced review copies for me to choose from and along with those are the already released books that I need to read...that and I just didn’t feel like it. I do that sometimes. One minute I’ll tell myself I’ll write one review a month and the next minute it’s been eight months of “...I’ll get to that later.”

And I never got to it. Until now! Yay!

(all those crickets and tumbleweeds you’re hearing are because nobody reads this, but I’m going to keep writing these anyway).

If there was any book that could bring me out of my laziness-induced hiatus, it is Sona Movsesian’s hilarious memoir detailing the downfall of her own ambition.

And by that, I mean: The World’s Worst Assistant by Sona Movsesian!

How does someone who worked so hard to get her foot in the door end up as the World’s Worst Assistant? Keep reading and I’ll show you a brand-new world, one where deadlines are spurned, professionalism is seldom upheld, and you’ll never have to miss an episode of your favorite TV show.

-From the uncorrected copy of The World’s Worst Assistant.

Sona Movsesian is the first to admit she isn’t great at her job. Which is a bit of a problem when you’re the assistant to comedy legend Conan O’Brien.

Sona is a boss who doesn’t give a single fuck. But she didn’t start out that way. She came into her job as Conan’s assistant as someone eager to do a good job. But, like so many of us, as the years passed, she got comfortable in her job.

Comfortable enough to no longer give a shit.

Now, before I get into Sona’s book I should explain: I’ve been a fan of Conan O’Brien practically since birth.

Not only is he responsible for some of the best episodes of The Simpsons, ever, (Marge vs. The Monorail, Homer Goes to College and New Kid on the Block), he’s also my favorite ever Late Night host. Growing up, they’d play last night’s Conan at 6 PM and we’d watch it religiously. In high school, we’d watch the monologue, the post-monologue bit, and then, during the interviews, my dad would try to help me do my math homework. Unfortunately, I’m both easily distracted and terrible at math.

Now, I’m not saying Conan O’Brien is the reason why I did so poorly in math during high school but, I mean...

Who could possibly focus with that going on in the background?

I still remember being heartbroken when Andy left the original Late Night show, and how elated I was to see him come back for The Tonight Show.

And as for that debacle, well...let’s just say that was my entire sophomore year of college and I even wrote a term paper about it. I am not kidding.

Anyway! I’ve been a Conan fan forever. I have a Late Night shot glass, a Tonight Show T-Shirt, the OG I’m With Coco shirt from back in 2010, and I went to the very first Legally Prohibited from Being Funny On Television Tour show because, lucky for me, it was held in Eugene, Oregon. I mean, major tours almost never stop within driving distance of me, but oh man. I still have merch from that tour, but they’re a bit beat up now (my Team Coco bottle opener has long since lost all its orange lettering so it’s just a plain black bottle opener now) but still.

Fun fact: for roughly half a second you can see actual human me in the Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop documentary waiting outside of the Hult Center. That ticket was the best money I, as a broke college student with exactly zero dollars to spare, ever spent.

Anyway: big Conan fan. Cried when he ended his show on TBS but I listen to Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend every day during my morning commute.

But enough about Conan.

Let’s talk about the Queen herself: Sona Movsesian.

Sona has been part of some of the best bits of Conan’s TBS show and on his podcast. If you haven’t seen some of the bits they’ve done together, I highly suggest you stop reading now and watch a few. Or just leave this page altogether, watch the Conan Without Borders they did in Armenia.

As you can see from some of the bits they do together, Conan and Sona exist as foils for one another: Conan is the anxious, highly-strung workaholic, and Sona is the chill assistant who shrugs and goes “eh” and figures everything will work out fine in the end. Hilarity inevitably ensues. Throw in Matt Gourley, the podcast producer who exists somewhere in the middle ground between Conan and Sona, and you’ve got one of the top 50 podcasts ever!

At number 46.

Honestly, my favorite bits of the podcast are when the trio of Conan, Sona and Matt just BS amongst themselves. Together, the three of them are absolutely hilarious. I’ve always found Conan to be at his most hilarious to be when he’s interacting with others, and Sona and Gourley are perfect foils. Also, listening to them just reminds me so much of me and my siblings talking together - where we’ll banter and rag on each other and make sure one is taken down a peg when they need to be, just as Sona, Conan and Gourley interact with one another. And it’s never mean, either, it’s in that way that you see with siblings - everyone cares about each other, but by God they will poke fun when there is fun to be poked.

Fun to be poked? Sounds disgusting, but whatever. At least I’m writing and not sitting around for eight months going “...yeah, I’ll write another post later...”

What was I talking about?

Oh, right, The World’s Worst Assistant!

Sona’s memoir isn’t just a book about being a terrible assistant. It’s a manifesto against the shitty working conditions lower-level employees face on a daily basis. Sona encourages her readers not to take shit - she uses a pretty apt Human Centipede metaphor to describe how mistreatment in the workplace is often perpetuated: the lowest employees are treated like shit, they eventually get promoted and then they treat those below them like shit…shit rolls downhill, the abused always kick downwards, etc. etc. But, as Sona points out, the way to stop this cycle is to STOP TREATING PEOPLE LIKE SHIT. Employers, quit treating your employees like shit. Employees, quit taking your employers’ shit. It’s not worth it. And, if you’ve taken shit from your employer and got promoted? Don’t immediately start treating those below you like shit.

Reviewer, you probably aren’t asking, do you have to keep using the word shit?

Yes. Yes I do. If you don’t like it you can leave.

Wait, no, don’t leave! How else will I get people to read this dumb review blog? No! Come back!

Aside from her hilarious, but very, very real take on how bosses often abuse their power when it comes to the staff who work below them, Sona also details the best ways for an assistant to get away with doing as little as possible. As someone who has worked their fair share of admin jobs (my boss referred to me the other day as their “assistant” and I was like...fair...) I am definitely familiar with some of Sona’s methods, but some are just next level. Being able to pull off a nap at work? That is the absolute dream. Alas, my current workplace has no sofas to crash on. Also I don’t believe in sleeping during the day, nighttime is for sleep, sleeping during the day wastes daylight hours that could be spent toiling in the fields. Sorry, my ancestors were all dirt farmers and I’m convinced that this is the reason why I don’t like napping during the day. But having spent so many years having to be up at, like, 4 AM to get to work on time, sometimes you need a nap around noon so you don’t fall asleep during the drive home. Someday I hope to use Sona’s nap-during-work-hours secret. Someday.

If you think that these methods are a sure way to get fired, don’t worry! Sona has a solution for that. She details all the ways you can make yourself indispensable at work while also gathering up all the things you need to make yourself unfireable. Is unfireable a word? There’s no red underline on in my google doc, so it is now. We lowly admin types are often under-paid and neglected, but, as Sona reminds us, our power lies in the fact that we know everything. Credit card numbers, where the good office supplies are kept, all the passwords, everybody’s schedule...of course, we’d never actually use any of this as a weapon, but sometimes it helps to hint that we could. Maybe.

In all, The World’s Worst Assistant was an absolute joy to read. Sona’s writing is uproariously funny and her stories are incredibly relatable, especially if you (like me) have ever been an admin or someone’s assistant. The only criticism I can think of is that if you come into this book blind, you will have no idea what is going on. You have to be familiar with Conan O’Brien, his shows and his podcast to know a lot of what Sona is talking about - as a lifelong fan, I loved it. However, if you are like “Conan O’Who now?” then you’re probably not going to be too geared up to read a book by his assistant, even if it is one of the funniest books I’ve read in a long time.

RECOMMENDED FOR: Fans of Conan O’Brien needs a friend, anyone who has ever worked as an assistant or any sort of admin position, anyone who has ever worked in or wanted to work in entertainment.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: people who have never watched Conan, people with no sense of humor, bosses, people who inherited all the money and have never had to work a day in their life, people who have ever even thought the phrase “Jay Leno is funny”, people who have something against fun and joy.

RELEASE DATE: July 19, 2022

RATING: 5/5

TOTALLY UNBIASED TEAM SONA RATING: 500,000,000,000 / 5

NUMBER OF TIMES I SPAT OUT MY DRINK LAUGHING WHILE READING THIS BOOK: 8

WHAT THIS REVIEW BLOG REALLY IS:

OBLIGATORY PODCAST REFERENCE:

KEDAKAI!

AS GOD MADE HER.

#world's worst assistant #sona movsesian #conan o'brien #conan o'brien needs a friend #conan podcast #conan #sona #matt gourley #conan and the chill chums #team sona #team coco #the world's worst assistant #memoirs #comedy #funny book #humor

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roniscloud · 3 years

Text

jsb - 302

jung subin [f. 1577 words] 302

from the day you moved into your new apartment, you couldn’t help but notice the cute tenant across the hall from you. you first saw him when you were bringing in the last round of boxes. you left a box in the frame of the door so you wouldn’t get locked out. with the final one, you joyfully kicked open the entry and practically dropped the items from your arms, ready to be done with unloading from your cramped car. standing in the doorway, looking into the quaint one-bedroom loft, you realize you now need to unpack and organize everything. you thought about a game plan, opting to get some food before starting. you turn your head to look to the hall outside, catching a glimpse of someone entering the apartment on the other side.

you’ve never properly met him. hell, you don’t even know his name, only referring to him as 302—the brass number adorning his wooden door. yet, you know he always gets subway for lunch every tuesday, take-out from the ramen bistro down the street every friday, and goes to dinner with his friends every other saturday night. you know he has two pets, a cat and a dog. you know that he likes to go on early morning walks on sundays if the weather is nice and that he usually leaves, for what you assume would be work, at 7:30 am sharp. even with all of the trivial things you know about him, you somehow still had no idea what his name was. funny how that works.

little to your knowledge, subin—the nameless next-door neighbor—thought the same thing. he thought it was hysterical that he didn’t know his new neighbor’s identity—opting for the nickname, 303—but somehow knew that they were a night-owl who loved ordering a large pizza every thursday and strictly bought groceries on the second sunday of each month.

it wasn’t until about almost 4 months of you living in that loft till you crossed paths. it was bound to happen, right? you found yourself entering the building after a long day, on the phone with a close friend. you aimlessly press the button for the elevator, not looking up and waiting for the doors to open. a presence is made on your right, but you pay no attention, too caught up in your conversation, too busy to notice that it’s subin. your friend is rambling on and on about your favorite k-drama, “one spring night”.

“i get that, but hear me out. jeongin’s sister should just leave him already. she deserves better and there is no way that deadbeat jackass would be a good father, not like jiho is for his son.” your quarrel catching the attention of subin. “what do you mean by that? jiho sacrificed everything because eunwoo’s mom is no longer in the picture. even if he can’t be there 24/7, he still gives his all for his son.”

your argument continues till you reach your door. you nestle your phone onto your shoulder, sandwiching it there with the side of your head. you reach into your bag to pull out your keys. “yeah, whatever. i’m home anyways. i’ll talk to you later. i need to order some food, i’m starving.” a light chuckle comes from you with the last words. you exchange goodbyes, hanging up the call. you turn the key and open the door. you’re interrupted with a small voice behind you.

“excuse me… were you possibly talking about ‘one spring night’? i didn’t mean to eavesdrop, i just really love that show.” bright eyes and an even brighter smile are what your eyes see as you turn to answer.

you blink a few times and swallow. this is it. this is him. you stumble to find the words, “oh… uh… yeah. my friend and i are both watching it and i guess… we’re just really passionate about it.”

“i mean it is really good, hard to stop watching.” this time he’s the one laughing. his voice resonating in your ears like honey, his giggle being oh so sweet. “now that i think about it, i’m pretty sure we’ve never actually met. i’m subin.”

you introduce yourself. not knowing what else to say other than your name and that it was nice to finally meet him. he shyly apologizes for never approaching you and not giving you a proper welcome to the complex. you tell him that it’s fine and that there’s no reason to worry.

after that night, you seem to always see each other, always flashing a polite grin to one another. sometimes, you’ll stop in the hallway to dish about the newest show you both are hooked on. until one day, he notices you go to work like every morning, but you’re not back by your typical time. you haven’t formally addressed each other as friends yet, but it comes like second-nature to him to feel anxious. he paces back and forth in his kitchen, checking the peephole everytime he hears the faintest of noises in the hall. you usually get home at 5:37, pushing 6:21 if you decide to get dinner on the way. it’s almost quarter to ten when he hears keys jangling. his neck whips around immediately, not even checking if it’s you, just rushing to open the door. “where have you been?” the worry way too evident in his tone.

“oh… were you waiting for me? i’m sorry if i worried you. i had a dinner with someone, you know how that goes. blind date.” you roll your eyes at the mention of your coworker’s doing.

he sighs loudly. “how’d it go?”

“he was… nice, not sure i see myself dating him, but hey… it’s only the first date.”

“so, there’s going to be a second?”

“maybe, still not sure. we don’t really click.”

“well, you never know. people can surprise you. i should probably head back inside. have a goodnight.”

“you too…”

from then, your coworker keeps setting you up with other people. unfortunately, no one ever being a good match. by the fifth? sixth one? who knows at this point? you’re pretty much done with these stupid outings, but you’re not one to say no to a friend who’s trying to do a favor. you grab the last of your things as you make your way out. not even stepping all the way into the hallway are you met with subin’s voice.

“again, seriously?”

“you know me… how am i supposed to turn it down?”

“by saying that you’d rather not go on a date, by saying you’re not looking for a relationship right now, by telling your friend that maybe you’d rather find someone on your own…” he states in a teasing tone. “why go on another shitty date when you can spend the night with me, binge-watching our favorite tv shows and drinking cheap beer?”

“at this point, i’d consider that the best idea anyone has ever had. i’ll text them saying an emergency came up and that i can’t make it.” he opens his door wider to let you in.

an hour and a half later, you find yourself slightly buzzed and on the fourth episode of a new drama. “boo, can they stop pining over each other and kiss already?”

“subin, calm down. they literally just started getting close.”

“but- but they-”

“i know, i know. i want them to get together already too, but we have to wait.” you turn your attention back to the screen situated higher up on the wall. “look, they’re at least sitting closer now. before they couldn’t even hold eye contact for two seconds.” he’s quiet, not trying to refute your observation. “subin? are you even watching?” your gaze meets his. “hello? earth to jung subin. i asked if you were watching…”

“you remember the night we met? what you were talking about? how you said the sister deserved better than the jackass? well, you do too. you deserve better than those guys.”

“how much did you drink? i think you might want to slow down on those beers.” you laugh at his expression, the smile not leaving your lips.

“please, stop smiling at me like that. i’m not sure what will happen if you keep doing that.”

“alright, now i’m sure you drank too much.” you’re flustered at how straightforward he is. “i think it’s time i go.”

“wait, no. look, i’m sorry. i wasn’t thinking. i just- i really do think you deserve better.”

“and who and where is exactly is better?”

“me. right now, whenever.”

your jaw drops. did subin just confess? did your heart just skip a beat? is he telling the truth or is it just the alcohol and mood talking? “tell me that again when you’re sober. for now, i’m leaving. i’ll see you in the morning.”

you’re woken up with your phone ringing. you see the contact, 302, appear. your groggy morning voice answers. you hear subin ask you to come out. you reach your entryway, opening it to see a wide-awake neighbor. “you deserve better.”

“huh… so you weren’t kidding?”

“nope.” he nods his head firmly, pouting his lips.

“well… if you really think that, let me go back to sleep. you can come in, maybe cuddle, who knows? i just need sleep.” he follows you in, reaching his hand down to hold yours and bring it up to kiss the back of it.

originally written: 26 november 2020

#subin #jung subin #subin fluff #jung subin fluff #subin imagine #subin imagines #subin fic #subin fics #subin blurb #subin blurbs #victon #victon subin #victon fluff #victon imagines #victon fics #victon blurbs

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generallybarzy · 4 years

Text

hey there, stranger. v

one, two, three, four

an: originally, I was going to end the story after part iv. That was as far as I had planned it and it felt like the perfect end, but everyone loved it so much (thank you all for your feedback, especially @fallinallincurls ily 🥺) and expressed their need to see where mat and mc go in their relationship, so back by popular demand is “hey there, stranger”! I’m sorry if things aren’t as fluffy as usual, but i promise i’ll only break your hearts a bit. I was in a mood when planning, and I have some tough things coming ahead. I'm trying to make this as realistic as possible, so I'm also basing it on irl experiences I've had and I'm digging a little deeper into mc's backstory. This is definitely going to turn into a little bit more than the comfort fluffy fic I originally planned it to be. Its gonna be a lot more complex than that. As always, feedback and commentary is appreciated!!! I don't have a Thanksgiving themed blurb written like I wanted to, so hopefully this'll hold you over until Smile Like Sunshine comes out 😌

word count: 3k

the playlist :)

Two months.

You blinked.

It had been two months since Rebecca Seidenberg set you up with her husband’s young teammate. It had been two months since you sat in that coffee shop in the cool mid-September and watched with stars in your eyes as Mat first approached your table as a stranger. It had been two months since you started texting each other nonstop, with the occasional date between his games and practices and your class and work. How had two months passed already? How had things gone so fast? Ended up here? Why does this already feel so intense? Why does it scare you so much?

Your eyes opened.

You could feel the bed dip beside you as Mat rolled over, his nose in your hair, his arm slung around your waist, and you turned to gaze at him in all his beauty. He was still fast asleep, his breaths coming in little puffs of air against your face, his lips turned up at one corner in a tiny, content smile, and his hair looking especially fluffy and soft this morning, falling in delicate waves over his forehead and tickling your skin as the pale morning light shone in his window. It was a look that would have made you smile.

But not this morning.

Your heartbeat sped up as you untangled yourself from him as quickly and delicately as you could, needing to feel your own limbs separate from his, needing space, space, more space. You slipped away from his skin, your cheeks red and your head spinning and your heart pounding. You stepped back from the bed, watching his sleeping face as the arm that had been around you found its place around a pillow instead, pulling it closer. After a few seconds to make sure he wouldn't wake up yet, you searched his room frantically for where your clothes had been set the night before, tripping over his own things and cursing him for being so messy, even though it was cute in a boyish, Mat kinda way.

You glanced back at him in bed, his hair haloed out on the pillow, a dark contrast to the soft white duvet and pillow cases, his skin looking warm and kissable. You thought about waking him up for a moment, but you didn’t want that. You didn’t want him to see you leave. You didn’t want him to beg you to stay.

The kiss was lingering in the air, your bodies warm and flush despite the cold mid-November air, as Mat mumbled against your lips. "Stay the night?"

"Mat, I-" You had class in the morning, he had practice in the morning, you were too afraid to be that close and that intimate and that vulnerable with anybody ever, let alone this early in a relationship. But how could you voice that?

"I'll set an alarm." His eyes- warm and golden and searching gently- scanned over your face, looking for any sign you weren't okay but missing the obvious one completely. He was always so soft in his questions. So polite, so patient, so oblivious. You couldn't say no to him.

"Okay."

A familiar smile tugged his lips up, a boyish, giddy grin that had you smiling as well. He was just too cute. He leaned down to press another kiss, chaste and delicate, against your lips. The feeling was something new, something that would take a while to get used to. He laced his fingers through yours.

"So, our first sleepover, huh?"

You pulled your leggings on as fast as you could and gathered up your belongings, stumbling out his bedroom door quietly, hoping he was still fast asleep in bed and had no idea you ran out this early. Finally taking the time to glance at your phone, you noticed it was 5:48am, still 4 hours until your first class of the day. You had been awake all night, you were sure, and had left the moment you saw the sun peak over the horizon.

You couldn’t explain exactly why you were leaving so soon, so frantically, but something inside of you was begging you to run. From Mat, from his apartment, from this building. Back to where you were familiar and comfortable and safe. Safe, safe, safe. As much as you hated it, you still couldn’t feel safe in anybody’s arms, not even Mat’s. Not even when you craved so desperately to be loved by him and to love him back. Your heart and body craved his touch, his skin, his warmth, but your brain rejected it. You didn’t feel safe yet. You still couldn’t hold Mat or be held by Mat without thinking of him.

You glanced around Mat’s apartment as you finally closed his bedroom door behind you, your mind drifting to the night before.

“So,” He laughed nervously and dropped his hand to rub the back of his neck as he opened the door. He was just a bit shy to show you around, his cheeks going pink, despite the ever-present grin that told you just how happy he was to have you here with him. Shyness was cute on him. “So this is my place.”

The door swung open and he let you step in before him, taking in your new surroundings. Your boyfriend’s place. It wasn’t dirty at all. In fact, it was cleaner than you expected for a young, rich bachelor like him, but it was obvious he hadn’t lived on his own before, and was used to just letting it all out. Not used to having visitors. Any girls he brought home would be too caught up in the fact that he was hot and successful to care if he had some socks on the floor or some dishes in the sink. But under the hint of boyish mess, it was obvious this apartment was expensive. You knew from the second you stepped inside the apartment building that you would never be able to afford a place like this, but seeing it now… all the way from how spacious it was and beautiful the light color scheme was to the pale floorboards to the white marble of the island countertops to the huge windows looking out into the million dollar view of the city. Few people in New York City could afford a view like this.

“Wow.”

“You think?”

“Are you kidding?” You looked back at him, at the dumb modest smile on his face. “Mat, I will never, ever in my life be able to afford this. And you have this place all by yourself at twenty-two?” He just shrugged, finally shutting the door behind him and taking your bag off your shoulder, setting it on the countertop. “It’s so pretty.”

“I mean, I didn’t decorate it. I flew my mom in to help. That’s all her.”

It made you smile, the thought of such a big-time NHL player flying his mom across the continent just so she could help him decorate his place. It was always a good sign to see someone with such a healthy family relationship. It was so intimate and beautiful to get to see this side of Mat. This was his home. This was where he fell asleep, woke up, brushed his teeth, ate breakfast, sat on the couch to watch TV. This was his private life. And now you were in on it.

“It’s not that amazing, anyway. It’s big and expensive, but that’s no fun if I’m all alone.” His eyes caught yours, his fingers found their way back between yours. “How about we… recreate earlier tonight? Maybe watch The Office like you mentioned the other week?”

Your breath caught in the throat, but you squeezed his hand. “We can do that.”

You could kick yourself now, for giving in so easily. You wanted to hug him and kiss him and hold him, but another part of your head was so scared to jump in so fast, that you almost said no. You almost said no, but how could you follow him the whole way to his apartment, kiss him, tease him like that, and then deny him anything else? How could you say no? You cast a glance towards the couch that you had spent so much time on the night before, curled up in Mat’s arms, unbelievably tense and nervous and awkward. There was no way it had been enjoyable for him. It certainly wasn’t for you.

With your heart aching and needy, you gave one last glance back through his apartment, listening carefully to see if you could hear any soft snores from his bedroom- you couldn’t- before slipping on your shoes and slipping into the hallway, locking the door behind you so that you couldn’t even get back in if you changed your mind.

You were torn.

Mat arms were curled around your waist, your back was pressed against his chest as you snuggled under the blanket and watched all the shenanigans the characters were going through in The Office. If you could even call this snuggling. You couldn’t help how tense you were and how hard your heart was beating.

“You comfy?” Mat’s nose pressed to the top of your head, squeezing you lightly. He must have noticed.

“Sorry, just not used to this.”

“Well, you better get used to it.” He laughed a little bit and you smiled too. As nervous as you were, you couldn’t deny how nice it felt to finally have someone to hold again, even if you might end up hurt in the end. “Would you be more comfy if you took your bra off?”

You almost choked on your own spit. "What?"

"I mean, I'm not gonna make you take it off, and I don't know what it’s like to wear one, but from what I’ve heard, there's no way it’s comfortable to sleep in."

"Well, I don't want my boobs pressed all over you."

"I want that." His cheeks went a little pink and his eyes widened. He shook his head and laughed, brushing off what he just admitted. "No no no that’s not what I meant. Sorry, I just want you to be comfy. I want you to feel at home around me."

“Hmm, I do feel at home around you.”

“Good.” His lips found your forehead, an action that was starting to feel more and more natural after your very first kiss earlier that night. You were just beginning to relax some more when the episode finished and Netflix asked you for the third time that night “Are You Still Watching?”. You hand found Mat’s arm and you shifted to roll over and face him, smiling up at his face when your hair tickled his nose. “Hey there, baby.”

“Hey.”

“Think it’s time to go to bed?”

You couldn’t explain it. You couldn’t explain why you felt this way, You had complained for months about how lonely you were, how dating never went well for you, but the moment you met Mat, you refused to believe it. Mat was amazing. You’d never felt this much, this soon about anyone else in your life. Only once had the feelings gotten so near to this intensity, and you could still remember how painful it turned out. It still haunts you every day, no matter how much you tried to escape it. Mat was so perfect to you, too perfect to you, that there was no way this was real. Nothing is this perfect. Nothing was this easy and flawless and simple. Things didn’t just fall into place like this. Not for you. So as you lay in Mat’s bed that night, his arm around your waist and his breath warm against your head, not even realizing what had slipped from his lips in his half-asleep daze, you realized: this was way moving too fast. Mat was going way too fast, and you weren’t there yet.

You came to regret your decision to leave so soon before you even made it down to the front door of his apartment building, and a few minutes later you found yourself in the back of a Taxi, gazing wistfully at Mat’s contact number and knowing he was still blissfully asleep, thinking you were still in his arms.

And as you drove away, Mat was waking up in bed alone, like always, and wondering what he had done wrong.

---

You moved almost like a zombie through your first classes of the day, luckily you could just go home and read the textbooks and pretty much understand the whole lecture, and the first time you spoke was when you went out for lunch with your roommate and best friend. She found you in the popular campus coffee shop, your forehead down on the table and your hair a mess, your backpack of textbooks tossed haphazardly on the floor beside you. “Woah, girl, rough night?”

“Fuck.”

“Can I take a guess and say it has to do with this perfect guy you’ve been seeing?”

“Ugh, Maggie……”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” She sat down across from you as you finally lifted your head, only to slump back in the booth, still dwelling on the thought of what had happened the night before. “So, tell me what’s up.”

“Well, I’m running on zero sleep right now.”

“Shit, did you sleep together last night?”

“No, no! Girl, you know me better than that.” She held up her hands in mock surrender.

“Hey, he sounds so perfect, I would have sucked his dick by now.” You laughed at her antics, always one to make you smile. “Well, then what happened?”

“We just… I told you we were babysitting together, right? We… walked to his place afterwards and…. We kissed.” She squealed for you across the table, but you continued on. “I stayed at his place all night. We just… cuddled and watched The Office.”

“You’re dead-ass living the dream!! Why do you look so down???”

“Well, he uhhh…” Your memory from last night flooded back to you.

You were curled up in his bed, his intoxicating scent surrounding you, his big arms engulfing you, his big Islanders hoodie swallowing you up. You were so overwhelmed by him all around you, but overwhelmed in the best way possible. His arms were around your waist, one of your was slung over his waist while the other stroked his dark hair away from his face. He smiled at you, half-asleep, and hummed in content. “I like when you touch my hair. S’cozy.”

“I like touching your hair. It’s really soft.”

“Mmmm.” You could see the snow falling against the window, and snuggled further into his arms. For the first time since you started cuddling, you felt truly safe and warm and cared for. Like he was the first man to ever care about you like this. His hand was big and warm on the small of your back, pulling you into him so gently, so easily, but for once you weren’t afraid of the contact. Like all the hesitation you had, all the walls you had built up had crumbled down for him. You were both drifting off to sleep when a tiny mumble filled your ears, barely comprehensible as it tumbled from the dreaming man’s lips.

“I love you...”

“Oh shit, (Y/N).”

“I know it’s bad.” You felt guilty, thinking back now, but Maggie knew your history, so hopefully she’d understand. “I feel shitty about it, but I panicked. I didn’t get any sleep. And ran off this morning and I haven’t answered any texts from him since then.”

“Okay, that’s okay. You don’t need to be sorry for being uncomfortable when your boundaries are overstepped. But you gotta communicate those boundaries with him. And what he said, that’s a big deal, okay? Especially this early. So I get why you feel it's going too fast. It’s definitely something you definitely have to talk about. I get why you freaked out, but ignoring him isn’t going to make it better. He sounds like a genuine guy who means good but is just… a little too much for you. You just gotta talk it out.”

You opened your phone to the messages he sent over the last few hours since you left, and only felt worse and worse.

maty: “where’d you go??”

maty: “what’s wrong??”

maty: “ohhh you probably have class?”

maty: “you should’ve woken me up, I would have taken you, i had to get up for practice anyway”

maty: "i don't like waking up alone."

maty: “are we hanging later on??”

maty: “i was late for practice, trotz is gonna kill me haha”

maty: “are you there??”

maty: “baby?????”

maty: "what did i do???"

His hurt was evident in each message, and it made you feel like shit to read it, but your friend was right. You needed to talk. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, girl. All I want is to see you happy with the guy you’re with. This guy seems like a keeper.” You smiled, and before you could continue on, she smiled. “One more question: Is he an Islanders fan?”

You shook your head, confused as to what made her ask and smiled internally to yourself slightly at the little fact about him that you had kept secret. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, cause I know you’re not really into sports, so who’s hoodie is that?”

You glanced down curiously and realized that, in your frantic rush to get dressed, you had forgotten that the hoodie you had worn to bed the night before wasn’t yours. No, it was much too big to be yours. The familiar blue with “Islanders Hockey” across the chest was a dead giveaway that you had accidentally stolen Mathew’s hoodie.

“Oh,” you fumbled and reached up to play with the strings. “Yeah, he’s a fan.”

Your friend just smiled and gave you once last look before urging you with one last whisper of “text him” and stood up to leave the table. After a long, deep breath, you picked up your phone with shaky hands, pressed his contact and typed out the words that scared you so much, watching the typing bubbles appear.

you: “Can we talk?”

maty: . . .

#hey there stranger #mat barzal #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal fanfiction #mathew barzal #nhl fanfiction #op #fic

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okayto · 4 years

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Mini-Review: Inuyasha

15-year-old modern schoolgirl Kagome and grumpy half-demon Inuyasha reluctantly team up to recover the pieces of a magical jewel that were scattered when Kagome fell down a well into magic-filled feudal Japan. On their quest they team up with a monk, a demon slayer, and a young fox demon while trying to stay ahead of the large number of people who want one or all of them dead.

This counts as a classic now, right? I remember plenty of Inuyasha cosplays (including me as Kagome for Halloween once), fanart, and the rare anime merch in real stores while the original series aired in the early aughts. But despite that, I wasn’t a dedicated watcher at the time. Which ended up to my advantage, because now the entire series is easily available.

The premise is simple: Kagome falls down a well at her family’s shrine, and comes out the other side in feudal Japan. She’s attacked by a demon that wants to acquire the magical Shikon Jewel embedded in her body, awakens and is saved by the grumpy half-demon Inuyasha, the jewel shatters, and now they gotta go put it back together. Only, Kagome is the reincarnation of Inuyasha’s former girlfriend, the priestess Kikyo, and the two parted on bad terms each believing their lover had betrayed them. (It was a trick by series Big Bad Naraku, but still.)

And because nothing is ever simple, Kikyo gets brought back to life at one point for Reasons, then proceeds to spent a chunk of the series alternating between helping random peasants (because she’s got such a nice soul) and trying to kill Inuyasha and co (because breakups suck).

This is not an intellectual series, but it is a fun series. Mostly. There’s lot of action, lots of magic and demon-slaying, and the occasional respite/comedy break when Kagome heads home because she’s got a school exam, or needs to stock up on snacks, and say hi to a family who is super chill about their teenager just gallivanting around 500 years in the past, using her archery skills to avoid being eaten for dinner.

Yes. In this portal fantasy the portal remains open, allowing free crossing back and forth, which is convenient. I remain, however, mystified by how far the characters seem to travel while always remaining within a fairly easy trip back to their home base where the well is.

In general, you can’t think about it too hard. It won’t hold up, it’s not supposed to hold up. This is a feudal Japan where no one cares that Kagome is running around in a miniskirt, riding a bicycle and eating cup noodles and bags of chips.

On one hand, Inuyasha, like many action series, is great for the casual viewer: after a brief introduction at the beginning, you know the basic setting and the rest of the story in any given episode is easy to figure out (usually: this brightly-colored character wants to harm these other ones and/or steal their weapons). But what’s fun when viewed in short doses gets old if you’re trying to cram it. Not because it’s bad, but binging does make its flaws more obvious.

Its main flaw is that every single character needs to take a course in communicating.

To be clear, every main character has the emotional intelligence of a sleep-deprived sixth grader. Inuyasha isn’t alone in this, but the number of fights that compelled me to yell please work out your interpersonal drama later when demons are not actively trying to kill you was...a lot.

(Don’t worry, there’s plenty of arguing when they’re not dealing with murder attempts, too!)

Okay, so, why watch? I mean, sometimes you just wanna see cool magical people fighting other magical people in ridiculous ways? I mean look at these people! You’re not going to mix any of them up with anyone else, huh? And the colors, nice and bright!

Also, initial-minor-antagonist-who-refuses-to-admit-he-would-ever-willingly-be-nice Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha’s older half-brother? He was popular eye candy back then, and he’s still pretty now.

Now, my roommate and I watched this over the course of many months, which is what I recommend. It’s a long series (193 episodes total, excluding movies), and why rush it? A plus to watching now is that the series is complete: the original anime ended before the manga, so 163 episodes in, it just...doesn’t resolve. But a few years later, Inuyasha: The Final Act was released and completed the story.

Even so, the show is long enough that unless you’re really enjoying it, you can go ahead and skip the filler episodes that were stuck in the original run. Just google “Inuyasha filler” and you’ll find multiple lists.

Verdict

English dub? Yes

Visuals: I mean, the first 167 episodes are from 2000-2004, so the aspect ratio is 4:3, but it’s held up OK. Character designs are colorful and distinctive. This isn’t going for anything close to realism, but it’s fun to look at.

Worth watching? Yeah, probably. Sometimes you just need a silly action show, and Inuyasha delivers in spades. It’s not perfect--monk Miroku’s lechery and groping is treated as a small character flaw and usually played for laughs, which gets old real quick. A lot of the side characters are legitimately fun as well, from Sesshoumaru’s little entourage Jaken and Rin (does he care about them? he’ll kill you before admitting it) to Kagome’s easygoing family to the recurring wolf demon allies.

Overall, I think I have to hold a long-running fantasy action show to a different standard of “is it good” than I do, say, something with 12-26 episodes. It’d have to get to the point quickly if it was shorter; even skipping the filler, this is the adaptation of a 56-volume manga so there’s just going to be a lot of adventures where the entire point is just “characters get [magical weapon/power-up/knowledge] and beat up some bad guys.” There’s something fun and also comforting in knowing it’s not going to get deep.

Where to watch (USA, as of November 2020): Hulu (sub and dub episodes 1-167, then 168-193 under the separate listing of Inuyasha The Final Act), Crunchyroll (sub and dub episodes 1-54), Netflix (sub and dub episodes 1-54), Viz.com (sub and dub episodes 1-193); multiple blu-ray and DVD sets

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

#also wolf demon leader Koga's 2 constant companions Ginta and Hakkaku are CLEARLY boyfriends we decided #Inuyasha #roomie and I had a couple nights a week we'd eat dinner together while sharing the show and it was a good time #anime #reviews #recommendation #kinda #but oh yes Sesshoumaru is p r e t t y

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thebibliomancer · 4 years

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #221: ... New Blood!

July, 1982

A semi-famous somewhat imitated cover!

Can you guess ahead of time which two will be joining the Avengers?

No cheating.

Actually, what’s funny is that I can imagine a Young Bendis looking at this cover, seeing Luke Cage, Spider-Man, and Wolverine all in a row like that and whispering to himself ‘one day... one day...’

Spider-Woman is even on this! This is almost the roster meme that Bendis would have selected his team out of.

Just as soon as he cleared the way by killing off Ant-Man and Hawkeye.

Anyway, I like the cute touch that there’s just a completely blank square for Sue Storm. And is she really still going by Invisible Girl at this point?

-google- Ah, Invisible Woman is still a few years off.

And at risk of spoiling, I like the cover pretending that Rom (Space Knight) could feasibly join the Avengers. Although that would have made a hilarious mess when the rights lapsed. A whole swathe of Avengers comics unavailable.

So, where are we at?

Last times on Avengers: Captain America decided that the Avengers had become too unwieldy. They’d settled into a filler rut and Cap wanted them to be lean and mean.

So the old order changeith’d! And Moondragon meddled, causing half of the old team to quit. But Cap got his lean team of himself, Thor, Iron Man, Wasp, Yellowjacket, and Tigra.

And then Yellowjacket Hank Pym had an ‘attempted murder out of insecurity’ breakdown and tried to murder his friends and was a very bad husband to Wasp as well.

So Yellowjacket was out and Wasp took some personal time.

It was just Cap, Thor, Iron Man, and Tigra. And then Tigra quit.

Wasp rejoined but the trim team of six had become anemic at four and after some space mishaps, its finally time to try to do something about that.

As Iron Man declares in title-of-the-issue font they need some ... NEW BLOOD!

And Wasp declares ‘yes we all know that already we’ve just been putting it off.’

(And they finally got the big meeting table back from the cleaners or wherever its been. Thank goodness)

But the question that Chairperson Wasp poses the team is should they re-induct some ex-members or go looking for some truly new blood?

Thor is brooding on the recent events, where Moondragon manipulated the Avengers previous roster shakeup and later when Moondragon took over a planet and got Thor to fight his friends.

So Thor’s point, by way of dwelling, is that they should be careful with who they choose.

Thor: “Thus can no action, no thought made by any of us in the last weeks be truly, absolutely claimed as our own. Not even... mine.”

There we go. There’s that good Moondragon induced paranoia I was hoping for.

And character wise, I do like that there’s fallout from the Ba-Bani misadventure. Whether being forced to fight his friends or being made to fall in love with Moondragon or being convinced to side with her plan to bring mandatory peace to the universe. Thor has been affected by what happened.

Cap suggests that they clear the slate and just judge potential members on their current qualifications.

So what qualifications should potential Avengers have?

Captain America: “Compatibility. Someone who can work in a team.”

Iron Man: “And technical expertise. Perhaps someone good with weaponry.”

Thor: “We’ve enough strength, methinks. But courage is important. Aye, and a noble heart.”

Wasp: “Well, I know exactly what this group needs. More girls!”

Good suggestions. All good suggestions. But very good suggestion from Wasp.

I know that two women on one team is the low bar that Avengers tends to reach but you know what’s worse? One women on one team. And you know what’s better? Three.

Think about it.

The meeting gets cut short because Jan has to go do Jan things like show off fashion at the Tavern on the Green but she tells the others to figure out who they’d like as new Avengers and then they’ll all decide at their meeting next week.

As the Avengers all head off, Captain America mentions to Iron Man that hey remember how Hawkeye used to be an Avenger all the time? Weren’t those good times? He worked well on the team, was real into being an Avenger.

Iron Man agrees that sure is a Thought but flies off thinking more about Jan’s suggestion to have more women on the team, albeit probably for less than pure reasons.

Thor meanwhile doesn’t have anywhere to be so sits down in the sitting room and reads a Time magazine.

Jarvis brings Thor some mead and Thor asks who Jarvis would enlist for the Avengers if Jarvis was given the choice.

Jarvis is surprised to be asked but does his best to speak off the cuff.

Jarvis: “Why, I - I really hadn’t given it much thought! But since you ask, I feel that some of the best Avengers have started as the most unlikely candidates. For example, those with strongly individual, independent natures seem to have worked out surprisingly well.”

You’re a good guy, Jarvis.

And you’ve got a good point. Since the Avengers were pretty much everyone who wasn’t on a team jammed onto a team together, the Avengers kind of have as foundation strongly individual independent superheroes managing to do a teamwork anyway.

And Thor just so happens to be reading the Time magazine that has a picture of Spider-Man on the front (along with “Friend or Menace?”) and thinks huh individual and independent??

Oh boy!

Spider-Man going to be offered a spot on the Avengers? Is it 2005 already?

Goofs aside, this is an interesting callback maybe.

All the way back in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #3 (November, 1966) which I didn’t cover but probably should have if this was a more comprehensive Avengers blog but then I may have died under the enormity of the task.

Uh, that sentence got away from me.

Anyway, in that Spider-Man Annual, the Avengers debate whether to recruit Spider-Man for their team. Thor is the one there to find Spider-Man and bring him to the mansion. The Avengers decide to test him and (after Spider-Man tries to beat up the entire team because that’s what Spider-Man thinks proving himself is) they send him to bring the Hulk back with him.

He finds the Hulk and fights the Hulk but Hulk turns back to Bruce Banner and Spider-Man feels bad for Bruce and doesn’t want to turn him over to the Avengers (not knowing that they want to help Hulk). So he comes back and says welp couldn’t find him guess I’m not Avengers material byyyyyye.

The other Avengers go huh I guess he wasn’t Avengers material but Thor seemed to suspect what had really happened.

So my rambling point is that its appropriate that Thor again thinks to recruit Spider-Man for the Avengers because of that previous story.

Later in the day, Iron Man calls Captain America.

Although as Cap points out they know each other’s civilian name now so why be formal?

Iron Man: “Captain America? This is Iron Man.”

Captain America: “Hey, Tony, let’s make it ‘Steve,’ okay? I’m off duty.”

So Tony “Iron Man” Stark has managed to stop thinking about more woman on the Avengers and has actually started to think about having Hawkeye back on the Avengers and has to admit, it sounds good to him!

So Captain Steve says they should go together tomorrow and see what Hawkeye thinks.

This is a nice sequence.

Its nice to see how the two learning each other’s identity plays out like this. Tony trying to stick to how they’ve known each other and Steve making a not subtle overture for them to become more familiar.

This is probably good shipping fodder, I realize!

But it is also good friendshipping fodder. It can be both.

Elsewhere and meanwhile, at the Van Dyne residence, Janet puts her own recruitment drive into... drive?

She’s invited every super-heroine in the country she can think of to brunch but she has no idea how to get a hold of She-Hulk.

Not even her state of the art computer system can find her! Granted, the state of the art computer system is for analyzing fashion forecasts and not news reports about She-Hulk sightings.

So Jan decides that if you want a She-Hulk you’ve got to spend a little green.

She has her assistant take out a bunch of full-page ads in all of the major west coast newspapers. And heck, buy a bunch of commercial time too!

Jan is going to do some I Want You (to Join the Avengers) ads!

She is ludicrously wealthy.

I went and checked and her original inheritance was ‘only’ three million dollars but the way that she throws around money I’m pretty sure she has managed to get some lucrative investments. That or she’s just super good at being a fashionista.

Granted, blowing a bunch of money for a chance to have brunch with She-Hulk is a pretty good reason to blow a bunch of money.

Later, as twilight comes, Thor is flying around Central Park because he has no idea how to find Spider-Man but hears that he’s often around “the meadow-lands called Central Park” and happens upon three goofuses who just robbed a pawnshop.

These goofuses are such goofuses that one of them is wearing groucho glasses as a disguise. Another one is wearing a clown mask.

Which, like a moth to fire, aggros Spider-Man just to mock the guy.

I’m pretty sure rather than flying around aimlessly, the best way to find Spider-Man is to create the perfect quip opportunity.

A clown: “I’m gonna kiss every dime o’ my share -- just as soon as we get to the hideout so’s I can take off this stupid mask!”

Spider-Man, suddenly: “Aw, c’mon, Bunky, leave it on! I’ve always wanted to bust a bozo who looks like a bozo!”

Groucho: “S-s-spider-Man!”

S-s-spider-Man: “But enough of this clowning! Wanna give up?”

Dangit, Peter. Good wordplay.

But before can catch these thieves just like flies, down came the rain and washed the spider out.

A sudden, inexplicable (cough cough Thor) localized storm tosses around the thieves until they surrender.

After the police lead away the goofus thieves, Spider-Man comes dripping wet and with a bone to pick.

Spider-Man: “Do you have any idea what it’s like running around in wet tights?”

Thor is like sorry bro but I’ve come to talk so Spider-Man agrees but they’ll need to go off somewhere private because the press is honing in on him to ask him bonkers questions about whether he came in a flying saucer.

I think they’re thinking of a certain emissary of hell.

That darn press!

Spider-Man and Thor relocate to a high rooftop for their talk.

Spider-Man: “Now, Goldilocks, what’s your beef?”

Thor: “Thy protective demeanor is unneeded, my friend. I have no ‘beef’ -- only a proposal. The Avengers are seeking new members, and I wouldst offer thee such position.”

Spider-Man: “You... Thor... want me as an Avenger?

Spider-Man is still not sure if it would work out (reflecting on Spider-Man Annual #3) but he’s also really flattered by the offer. And presumably how the offer wasn’t accompanied by “BUT FIRST YOU MUST PASS OUR TEST!”

So he can’t just accept the offer off-hand but he’s definitely going to think about it.

Even if you don’t join the team, even just being considered is an honor.

The twilight turns into night turns into day, and Cap and Iron Man show up in Hawkeye’s place of business to bug him.

Don’t know if you remember but Hawkeye has a cushy job as head of security for Cross Technological Enterprises. And he actually does take the job seriously which is why he’s a little concerned, at least for his professional pride, that Cap and Iron Man got past his guards.

Cap: “Avengers priority -- never leave home without it. In fact, we’ve come to offer it to you.”

Smooth. Smooth, Cap.

Although I do like that they can just march up to the guards of this company and go ‘hey let us in we’re avengers’ and its not even a ‘ok i’ll clear it with head of security hawkeye’ its ‘yeah sure go right in and do you want any paperclips?’

Anyway, Hawkeye has his pride so he tells Cap not to expect him to come crawling back after the Avengers booted him out (actually Gyrich because Gyrich wanted the Avengers to have some ding dang diversity. Its weirdly the least assholeish thing he’s ever done although he approached it very much in an asshole way).

Point being, they kicked Hawkeye out and he has a new super cool job now.

Iron Man takes this show of wounded pride in wounded stride, just asking that Hawkeye consider it and let them know when he makes a decision.

But Hawkeye doubts he’ll decide to come back to the Avengers because he’s got a good thing in this steady, respectable paying job which comes with job security and respect!

And then, suddenly struck by the realization that he, Hawkeye, is turning down a drama implosion like the Avengers to do the adult thing?? Hawkeye doesn’t like what he’s become.

And he stares in horror at the trappings of power and respectability. The sex and the drugs.

Or a Playboy magazine and a personalized coffee cup, at least.

And he decides to give Iron Man his answer right then and there.

Which, of course, involves shooting arrows. This is Hawkeye we’re talking about.

What’s amazing is that we’ll learn later this issue that he’s going to keep his security job and do Avengers on top of that (and in fairness most of the Avengers don’t have Avengers as their only thing). But he just shot an arrow through a glass door in his place of employment.

But you don’t hire Hawkeye if you don’t expect that kind of thing so I can see why it wouldn’t impact his job.

So that’s Hawkeye as a YES and Spider-Man as a ‘I’ll get back to you.’ And as the weekend arrives, it’s time for Janet van Dyne’s superheroine brunch.

And on the hill above the van Dyne house, its our old pal Fabian Stankowicz.

Remember? The Mechano-Marauder? Built a robot suit to beat up the Avengers, none of them took him that seriously? Iron Man beat him up solo without trying very hard and then got angry about Hank Pym?

Anyway, he’s back, somehow, and he’s salty about the less than dignified experience he had in issue 217. But this time, he has a new plan!

Fabian Stankowicz: “They laughed at me! Mocked me! But I’ll show the Avengers that the Mechano-Marauder is not to be toyed with! I’ll attack their weakest member when the others aren’t around! She’ll be helpless! *Heh-heh-heh*”

Well. Good luck with that, my dude.

Sue Storm-Richards, the Invisible Girl, arrives and Jan introduces her to the other prospective Avengers: Dazzler, Spider-Woman, and Black Widow.

All good candidates, really.

Especially Dazzler.

Well, Beast left and Tigra left so somebody needs to be the new funny person.

Apparently, Spider-Woman doesn’t like puns because she immediately starts getting catty with Dazzler.

Spider-Woman: “Nice going, Blaire! You’re showing all the polish and poise of a real pro!”

Dazzler: “Oh? And I suppose crawling on walls like some yucky insect is ‘professional’?”

Spider-Woman: “I sting, too”

I guess, they have some history in Dazzler’s own book that didn’t go over well. Black Widow has to lean over and tell them to cut the shit out for Jan’s sake.

But then the last invited guest shows up.

ITS A SHE-HULK!

She saw the ads and she’s come for the free food!

Relatable.

Outside, Jan’s chauffeur Mr. Carrothers sits on the limo taking a smoke break and reflecting how good he has it working for the Wasp. Good pay, casual hours. The most he can complain about is that it gets a little boring sometimes.

That’s probably tempting fate because the All-New All-Different Mechano-Marauder stomps up to the house. Remember how Fabian threw the limo last time? Mr. Carrothers remembers.

He panics and runs into the house and tries to warn the assembled heroes.

And yet.

They didn’t really leap to action, huh? I mean, I get it. Brunch.

Even after the robot fist has punched through Wasp’s frankly ludicrous window and kidnapped Dazzler, Wasp is more annoyed than anything.

Wasp: “Fabian Stankowicz, you get that thing out of my living room!”

And then has to explain to her guests that Fabian is some chump that Iron Man beat up and that he wants to make a name for himself by defeating the Avengers. And Sue is like ah yes I understand completely.

But chump or not, Black Widow decides that they should rescue Dazzler.

Dazzler: “I don’t think I need saving, folks! This guy’s just holding, not squeezing!”

And so much for the brunch bunch taking this any amount of serious.

Sue just puts up a quick invisible dome to keep Fabian from getting to the rest of them which the Mechano-Marauder instantly bonks into and bangs on impotently demanding that they let him in.

Careful, Fabian.

You’re memeing yourself.

Dazzler saves herself when she gets tired of being carried around. She does her Dazzler thing with the bright pulse of light, blinding Fabian.

He drops Dazzler but she’s caught by She-Hulk.

The blinded Mechano-Marauder drives around blindly, thinking “These women aren’t even Avengers! They can’t beat me!”

Alas, Dazzler decides the same decision she decided in #211, that she’s a singer, not a fighter.

And Sue also decides to head off, saying that she’s too busy with the Fantastic Four anyway.

Shame.

But can we talk about the sheer audacity that Jan had of trying to poach Sue from the Fantastic Four to the Avengers? The nerve! The verve!

So that’s two of her candidates declining but that still leaves Spider-Woman, Black Widow, and She-Hulk.

And unfortunately for Mechano-Marauder, the first two are the two that have decided to kick his ass a little for entertainment reasons.

Spider-Woman’s venom blast damages one of the giant robot fists and Black Widow swings around Hoth-style and trips the Mechano-Marauder into the ornamental pond.

Alas, after literally dunking a giant robot into a pond, both Spider-Woman and Black Widow turn down the offer to join the Avengers.

Black Widow has private business that are keeping her busy. And Spider-Woman doesn’t even offer an excuse.

In fairness, she has her own solo book over in California and that’s a heck of a commute. I’m actually impressed that she came all this way for brunch.

Fabian is fed up with being treated as an after-thought in his own fight scene and bursts out of the pond, yelling how he’s going to destroy them all!

All.... uh, two that’s left at this point. Yup, he sure is going to destroy all two of them.

She-Hulk has been fairly low-key this whole story, especially for She-Hulk. I’m pretty sure she came to the brunch just for the food and she hasn’t reacted much to Fabian, even when the others were. She caught Dazzler but she hasn’t had much to say since arriving. She’s mostly been standing with her hands on her hips, watching things play out.

But I guess she’s gotten tired of Fabian. Or maybe it falls to her as the last guest.

She tells him to shut up and breaks his robot suit with one punch.

Fabian has one last trick up his Mechano-Marauder sleeve but its a dumb one.

His ejector seat is actually a backup robot suit. Annnd, its so heavy that it sinks into the ground. Trapping him.

Good job, Fabian.

She-Hulk goes to give him one more punch but Wasp stops her. Because she wants a shot at him.

And wow! What a shot!

At full not small size she crosses the streams to focus her bio-power stings into one concentrated beam and blows a hole in Fabian’s escape suit.

I’ve talked before about how Wasp’s pew pew stings have seemingly gotten souped up under Shooter and I think this is another good example. I mean, she’s not blowing up a house but combining the blasts to do precision boring is another cool application we haven’t seen before.

Anyway, now Wasp goes teeny and flies into the hole she made and up into the helmet to blast Fabian in the face. So hard his helmet flies off.

Wasp: “That’ll teach ‘im for ruining my party!”

And that’s that for brunch.

Days later, Jarvis calls the State Department to request official clearance for two new members.

And we see part of the process of that. Interesting if you’re interested in the logistics of an officially recognized superhero team.

I guess what’s interesting is that Henry Peter Gyrich is still part of the process.

You’d think he’d have been replaced or something after the Avengers very publicly embarrassed him and got emancipated from him. I guess he keeps doing the necessary liaison stuff without ever talking to them.

The requests for the two new members cross Gyrich’s desk and he takes it to the White House where the request gets signed by Ronald Reagan.

(The two new members are Hawkeye and She-Hulk by the by. We see it on the paperwork. Guess Spider-Man is still thinking it over.)

Anyway, I guess its interesting that new Avengers are a matter that goes all the way up to the president.

God, I’m glad that for the modern team, Cap told the US government to fuck off because I don’t want to even think about that still being a thing.

The next day after the paperwork is signed, Hawkeye is on his way to Avengers Mansion in a cab. He’s reading a Time magazine about the change in the Avengers’ roster and reflecting that it’ll be hard to hold down two jobs but worth it because he’s missed the adventure.

Check out the Time magazine though.

The cover of this comic book issue is in-universe the cover of Time magazine! That’s neat.

But Hawkeye’s cab is suddenly cut off by a pink Cadillac.

And Hawkeye being Hawkeye doesn’t just grumble and go about his day. He commits assault. Because this is Hawkeye.

The guy that Cap and Iron Man wanted back for being a good team-player.

So he gets out of the cab and shoots the pink Cadillac with an EMP arrow that fries the car’s electrical system.

Really abusing that Avengers Priority Status already, huh, Hawkeye?

The one mistake he made is that the pink Cadillac belongs to She-Hulk. She in fact earned it by doing a car commercial for Wacky Willie’s Wheels-And-Deals so you might imagine she’s fond of it.

So she picks up the cab with Hawkeye in it and leans it against a lightpole.

And then she picks up the Cadillac on her shoulder and walks off with it.

She-Hulk knows how to make a lasting impression, I’ll say that.

But soon after he gets down from the taxi and stops in at an ER to make sure he’s not concussed, Hawkeye arrives at Avengers Mansion to rejoin the team.

Hawkeye: “Okay, folks, life can go on -- Hawkeye’s here!”

Iron Man: “And it’s about time! We were starting to get worried. What happened?”

Hawkeye: “Oh, nothin’ much -- not ‘til some freaky Amazon tried to play dominoes with my taxi!”

She-Hulk, lurking silhouetted by the window: “‘Amazon’, eh? I don’t suppose it could have been -- a green Amazon?”

That is a powerful energy you have there, She-Hulk. Powerful energy and a power move in a power suit.

And that’s how Hawkeye’s day was ruined. Also how the two new additions to the team start with bad blood.

Conflict! We gotta have it!

Wasp: “Hawkeye, She-Hulk. I’d like to officially welcome you both. From now on -- you’re one of us. We’re one of you. And we’re all -- THE AVENGERS!”

Jan’s trying a new thing where she kisses every new member. And they both have to bend down a little for her.

Also, another new Wasp costume! Wasp gonna Wasp!

This is another good, light-hearted decompression issue. The Moondragon two-parter had some yuks but also mind-control sex and Drax’s brain melting. So this time Wasp throws a brunch and Cap and Iron Man help Hawkeye escape the drudgery of an adult job.

There’s a lot of what could have been with Wasp’s guest list. What if she could convince Sue Storm to take a break from the Fantastic Four to try being on the Avengers.

She’ll join later, in the Worst Roster but she’ll join with Reed. I’m thinking more of a thing where Sue gets some time away from the family. I don’t think it could last long and it would need the Avengers and FF writer to be on the same page but I think it could be interesting - Sue getting to be on a team where she doesn’t have to be the adult in the room and doesn’t have to work alongside the family.

It’s a similar reason to why I’d like to see adult Cyclops join the Avengers. He’s so tied in with X-stuff and being the leader of X-stuff that I want to take him out of that context and see a new side of him.

Spider-Woman and Black Widow also could have been interesting. They’ll both become Avengers later. I don’t know that Dazzler ever did and she presents interesting opportunities.

The Avengers have had Wonder Man who was also trying to break into acting while being an Avenger. So Dazzler trying to pursue her singing career might just be a retread of that but what if she were more successful and was a celebrity on the team.

The Avengers kind of are celebrities but I think it’d be a different feel if they had a famous (disco) singer on the team.

Interesting stuff (for me) to think about, anyway.

Something else to talk about is the creative credits. Jim Shooter is credited for plotting but Dave Michelinie as writer. And looking ahead, Shooter is not going to be the solo writer again in the near future.

I think we’re getting to the point where Shooter’s going to be too busy with EIC duties to keep up writing the Avengers. He’s going to get plotting credits for a few more issues, probably loose threads he’s handing to other writers.

So the second Shooter run is going to end soon. Shame. Very much a shame. It wasn’t a very long run but he put a lot of energy and humor into the book.

Next time: Egghead’s back and he’s bringing a new Masters of Evil. Wow, it’s been a while since we’ve had them and they’re supposed to be the Avengers’ evil opposite team.

And Egghead is the not very impressive criminal mastermind who couldn’t beat Hank Pym so instead framed him for crime. Hopefully the new Masters rise above that level of menace.

Follow @essential-avengers because I’m bringing you the She-Hulk content you crave. I assume. I took a poll and one out of one person said ‘this is the She-Hulk content I crave’ and I extrapolated from that. Also you should like and reblog because She-Hulk would want you to.

#Avengers #Mechano Marauder #Iron Man #Captain America #Thor #the Wasp #Spider Man #Hawkeye #Invisible Girl #Dazzler #Spider Woman #she hulk #Black Widow #essential avengers #ten issues since the last one that had a bunch of guest stars #its a bunch of guest stars and a roster change!#essential marvel liveblogging

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deliriumsetin · 4 years

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So here’s the thing...

I’m really freaking hard to scare. Unlike my cat that just booked it into another room when our UPS guy dropped a package off at the door. Perfect timing, Percy. Perfect timing...

Anyways! I have NOT had a good scare in probably two decades. No matter what fiction I pick up that promises to chill and thrill me, neither happens.

Now keep this in mind.

As of right now I am launching a business and yes, this will tie into the weird opener. Be patient, please.

I am launching Vox et Liber, a publishing house for ALL kinds of stories and ALL kinds of voices. I started working on this in November 2019, what do you mean that was only 8 months ago?! I originally thought the publishing house up after learning a bunch of facts about the publishing world over the summer.

VeL publishing will be a new kind of publishing and I can say that with 100% confidence because I am building this beast from the ground up, with the help of @hazandlouwho, my fiance, and a few other amazing people!

Because this business is getting started independently, which means no investors, we are working with a VERY small amount of cash reserved for start up. Initially all works will be published digitally. We do plan on launching a Kickstarter in September/October to get enough funds to keep this going and to do it right which means getting stories published physically and sold to both indie bookstores and Barnes and Noble. Please be on the look out for that.

If any awesome people want to donate to help us not break my own personal bank, which will be easy to do since Covid-19 forced me to quit my job working with the public because I’m high risk and unemployment has kept me in limbo for going on 3 weeks, you can tip us on Ko-Fi by clicking here. ALL donations and funds raised go towards launching VeL and all projects under the VeL umbrella.

Bringing it around to the scares. VeL is launching our first project and we need all you awesome writers’ help. As of today we are opening submissions for our first ever anthology, Graveyard Visits. It’s horror with the theme of marginalized voices written as Own Voice fiction. Meaning stories written by marginalized groups with their marginalized groups as main characters.

Submissions are going to be open from July 1st until August 12th 11:59pm EST. Stories are expected to be between 2.5k-5k words in length. We will be paying $.02 per word as well as giving you a digital copy of the anthology. Submission Guidelines can be found here.

Now the whole me being hard to scare; I want to be scared. Submit your best, your scariest, and most bone-chilling stories.

Also, not so subtly gonna add a nudge to @thebibliosphere because I feel like she might have something up her sleeve. If not for this anthology then definitely our erotica one that will be announced later this summer.

We also have a podcast series in the works but I will do another post on that once I or my awesome soon to be brother in law (that’s STILL weird) have a moment to do up some graphics.

Click below for my rant on why traditional publishing right now is a soul sucking leech on EVERYONE.

On average with hardcover books an author is lucky to make $1.50 off each one sold and that’s only AFTER they sell enough to cover their advance. I also found out the average advance is like 3k per book. Some (not including the wicked big names who get a shit ton more) can get as high as 5k but others can get as low as a 1k. An author is lucky to see that twice a year (selling 2 books) because they have to spend time MARKETING book 1 instead of writing book 2.

Keep in mind fiction hardcovers are generally sold between 19.99 (usually YA) or 29.99 (usually adult). Wicked big difference, huh? I get there’s a lot that goes into making a book, trust me I do but the split between should leave the authors getting around $4 per copy instead of less than $2. That $2.50 is just extra that the publishing house takes because it can.

Then there are the mass paperbacks which an author gets paid 50 damn cents per copy. Yes, those books retail for anywhere between 7.99 and 14.99 per book and sell way faster than hardcovers. Take it from an ex-bookseller.

Most books take on average 500 to 1,000 hours of work put into them before they even get handed off to the publisher for the FIRST time. At minimum that author sees an hourly return wage of $6 which is BELOW the United fucking States shit-tastic minimum peasant wage. We devalue the arts so fucking much- arg! But that can be a separate rant for another day.

Then after doing more research I realized just how off balanced the publishing world STILL is in the year of hell 2020. Don’t believe me click the link. Sarah Park Dahlen did a great article with a great graphic on it.

As of 2015, yes I’m paraphrasing to continue to rant, children’s books had ALMOST more books about anthropomorphic cars, household items, and animals than there were books about Black kids, Asian Pacific kids, Latinx kids, or Native American/First Nation kids combined. Talking teakettles and their kindred got a whopping 12.5% while if you add up all the groups above you get 14.2%. None on there own beat out the freaking Easter Bunny! Of course books about White kids are the highest at 73.3%. Yes, this was as of 2015 but as an avid reader who reads middle-grade and up books for fun I can tell you nothing much has changed. Books about black kids maybe SLIGHTLY higher since the BLM movement (fuck yes progress!!) but I’d be heartstoppingly shocked if they beat out talking fucking trucks.

And that’s just race. From what I gathered with all the publishing houses less than 100 books with LGBTQIAP+ main characters are published each year. Wtf? And among that as of 2015 55% percent are about cisgendered males and 31% are cisgendered females. (Thank you @malindalo, you are awesome and I’ve enjoyed meeting you at the Boston Teen Author festival the last few years.) So, just focusing on those 2 first letters, huh? I want to read a story about a kickass transwoman that has to deal with transitioning WHILE demons have torn their way out of hell. That would be badass! Holy shit, someone trans write that!

Same goes for people that live with disabilities whether they are physical or mental, including mental illness and neurodivergents like myself. If you haven’t figured out by this rant just how ADHD I am than you might need an ADHD in your life. My brain works differently and I would have killed growing up to read about characters that have to deal with what I deal with. We have Percy Jackson now and his all ‘verse but it’s not enough and it wasn’t published until I was on my way to college.

All that aside we now have all the bs coming out about what’s been going on in traditional publishing. About all the dickweeds that have been using their power and pull to sexually harass new authors, most often the new authors are young women. I unfollowed people and canceled a pre-order because fuck that shit! Also, I don’t give a fuck how big a name someone is if the hate they spew makes all their trans fans collectively feel like shit for not believing the simple fact that transwomen are women then they deserve to get dropped like the bag of shit they are. TERFs can fuck right off.

All the publishing bs has made me more determined to get VeL off the ground because no, no, no. We’ll have none of that. All the listed above reasons can go play in traffic. We will be paying our authors better and taking care of them from day 1. We will be making sure our catalog is so damn diverse that you’d have to be looking at the wrong website to not find a story that you can’t see yourself in and lastly, if we hear of any of our authors pulling a Myke Cole or a Sam Sykes than they are dropped. It is in the best interests of our authors futures that they aren’t shitbags. /end rant

If y’all have any questions about anything of this, I think my dms are open or if I’m wrong just tag me. My days lately have been chained to my shit dell computer with one or both cats pinning me to the couch. I finish this up as Percy settles in on my legs. Also, thunderstorm is starting up and both are sleeping through it? If only I could be so lucky when the fiance and I have kids...

#publishing #anthology #writing #writing challenge #writers unite #supernatural #horror #writblr

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inkedsoldier · 5 years

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AMOR VINCIT OMNIA - Chapter Four

A/N: Here it is – chapter four of the AMOR VINCIT OMNIA series! Grab a handful of tissues and sit down, because we are going on an emotional ride. The original chapter was way longer than anticipated, so I had to split it in two. Chapter five will now be the second part of this chapter. I hope you enjoy & please let me know what you think about the series so far! Thanks for all the support!

Y/N = Your name.

Y/F/N = Your first name.

Y/L/N = Your last name.

Characters: Sam Drake, Nathan Drake, Elena Fisher, Jameson, Y/N.

Warnings: angst.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

Masterlist

Chapter Four

Unlocking the Past

New Orleans, November 2015

(15 years later)

It was a fine day in New Orleans. The week long storm had washed every sidewalk and gutter clean. The vibrancy of the city had bounced back in the instant the clouds cleared, and already the parks were a hum of activity again. You enjoyed feeling the warmth of the brilliant rays of sunshine on your face as you walked towards the docks. Around three years ago you and Nate took on a normal job after you found the lost the city of Ubar, the Atlantis of the Sands. Jameson, the owner of the salvage company Jameson Marine, hired you both instantly after getting knowledge of your “qualities”. Nate was already in doing some paperwork for today’s job and smiled when he saw you entering the small office, “Hey you! Had a nice weekend?” You chuckled as you answered Nate’s question, “Well, let’s say, I’m glad it’s Monday! I can’t wait to put on my wetsuit and look for some wrecks.” I walked over to him and gave him a warm hug. “So, your date didn’t work out then?” he asked while you sat down behind your desk. “Oh, hell no! I’ve never met such an uneducated pig as him. Damn. It was awful, Nate!” you replied to him with a disgusted look on your face. Five years after Sam’s death you tried to start dating again, but nothing took you further then some drinks at a local bar. “Ah, seriously? There must be someone out there perfect for you. I’m sure about that,” Nate told you before he left the office to check the equipment for the dive.

Later that day “If you don’t find it soon, I’m calling it,” Jameson said through the communication system. You had been looking for the wreckage for almost twenty minutes, and the tanks were already down to a quarter. “We’ll find it,” Nate answered. “Ah… there you are. Found it! It’s beat up, but intact. A lot of the crates is still strapped down, but by my count we’re shy two,” you said before starting your search for the other crates. It took a few minutes before you and Nate found the other two and the cargo was accounted for. With the help of Jameson you lifted the wreck out of the water and cleared the river of just another piece of rust. “I’m gonna stink like fish for a week,” you chuckled as you walked towards Nate and your boss with your tank in hand. “…look at that. We struck copper,” Nate said with an unamused look on his face. “Well, you’d be surprised how much this stuff is worth. Client’s paying good money for the full recover,” Jameson told you as he closed the crate again. “Well, I’m going to freshen up a bit and finish the paperwork for the client, so they can pick up this treasure,” you laughed as you walked off towards the locker rooms.

The day went on and the paperwork was piling higher and higher. “Save the trees, huh” you sighed as you picked up the next file. The clock ticks on the wall and time seems to slow down again. Sitting here makes you think over the choice to live a normal life. Jameson told you about the news from one of his contacts about the Malaysia job earlier this afternoon, but he had to get Nate on board. Not having any permits made that task pretty difficult for him. Jameson wants to take on the job to finally be able to retire, but you want the job purely for adventure; you missed the action. You finished the last paperwork for today and closed the office. Nate had already left, because he promised Elena to be home early for dinner today. When you headed back home your hair fluttered in the air, as the cold wind stroke your skin. You owned a car, and a motorcycle, but some days you loved walking; it cleared your mind.

As you lay down on the couch, covered by an old checked plaid, you could hear the gentle tapping of raindrops against the window. These were your favourite kind of nights, where you didn’t have to feel bad about not leaving the house to be social. You already cleaned the kitchen and took some time to read one of the books you recently bought in a local bookstore. Absorbed in the historical theme of the book, you transported to another reality. Reading was like an escape from reality; it takes over your imagination to fantasize about whatever you want without the worry of being judged. Unfortunately, the sound of your phone took you out of the world in your mind. You move around the room, and almost trip over the boots you kicked off a few hours earlier. “Where the hell is that stupid thing?” you mumble as you try to steady yourself looking for your mobile phone. A few moments later you find it still in the pocket of your jacket. As you swipe through the notification, you notice a text from Elena and start typing.

Lena: Hey! You want to come over tomorrow for dinner?

Y/N: Yeah, love to come over. Shall I bring something from the bakery across the street?

Lena: Oh, god! Yes, please! Loved the cappuccino brownies from last time.

Y/N: Deal! See you tomorrow. X

You loved spending time with Elena and Nate; you would always talk about adventures and yet unlocated treasure. Elena was still a reporter and wrote a lot of articles about hidden fortune and beautiful uncharted destinations. You smile as you put down your phone on your desk as you spot one of your favourite finds from one of your adventures; a small silver jewellery box. It was one of your first finds in the jungle when you were looking for El Dorado with Nate and Sully. You didn’t know how old it was, but the carvings made it special. There was a little heart on top of it with the letter S engraved in it. When you discovered it, it felt like it was meant to be found by you. Even after all these years you still missed Sam. Nate eventually stopped talking about him and so did you, but you were still broken hearted; maybe that’s why dating didn’t work out for you. There are things in your life that you did give up, but Sam wasn’t one of them. The little jewellery box kept two things safe for you. One of them was a silver necklace with a little heart, which Sam gave you on one of your first dates. “I think it’s time to wear you again,” you spoke softly as you hang the piece around your neck. You took it off before one of your diving jobs a couple of months back and totally forgot to put it back on. When you take the other valuable out of the box you need a moment to catch your breath – your eyes start to water as you unfold the little piece of paper. It was the print of the ultrasound you had taken less than a week before you lost the baby. “You would have been a teenager by now, little one” you mumble as you touch the heart on your necklace.

The next day Before the day has started for most of the people in the neighbourhood, you’re already in your kitchen, fully dressed and ready to start a busy day at work. Outside it is still as black as night, and only the clock tells you the difference in time. These are the days you live for; waking up before the alarm and getting ready while it’s still dark. You lock the door behind you and walk towards your motorcycle, which is parked next to your old jeep. The lights of the bike shine as smudged stars, the thick mist cold upon your skin. The asphalt was like charcoal under the early morning sky, only the white lines gleamed under the headlamps. Here and there were dark patches where potholes had been filled. The bridge near the docks arched elegantly over the green river. It was the only way to cross from one side of the city to the other. The moment you arrive at the docks you see Nate’s car parked in front of the small office. “Hm... he probably couldn’t sleep,” you chuckle as you make your way towards the small space.

“Hey, early bird, did you have problems sleeping again?” you laugh when Nate appears in the opening of the door. “I… I…” Nate stuttered as he walks outside. “Hey, you okay? You don’t look so good,” you say as you wrap your arms around him. “You are scaring me, Nathan!” Just as he is about to answer you another person comes out of the office space. This can’t be. Sam steps from the shadows, stealing your breath; your heart starts to beat erratically as you struggle to process what’s happening. Before he can say anything, you run away as fast as you can towards the end of the dock. Sam wants to run after you, but Nathan holds him back guiding him to the nearest bench. “Give her some space, Sam. She needs it.” “Yeah, of course,” Sam nods. “But I didn’t expect…” “Yeah, me neither. She is often early to start with paperwork, but I think this is a bit too much to digest in the early morning,” Nate explains to him as he catches a sight of your figure standing at the other side of the dock. “I want to hear about you, huh?” Sam says as they finally sit down. “About me and Y/N?” Nate answers, clearly still trying to process what happened in the last thirty minutes. “Yeah, I called some of the old contacts and they tell me some pretty crazy-ass stories of you,” Sam explains. “Jesus… what crazy stories?” “Gut-shot, hanging from a derailed train in the Himalayas?” Sam continues. “Yeah, that ah… actually happened.” Nate confirms as he thinks about where to start. There is so much to tell. So much he and you experienced during your adventures abroad. “Okay, um… Do you remember the theory that we had that Sir Francis Drake faked his own death?” “Yeah, sure.” “Okay… He did. Y/N and I found the coffin.” Sam shakes his head in unbelief. “Off the coast of Panama?” Nate starts to laugh and confirms.

Your eyes fill with tears. The walls that hold you up, that made you strong, just collapsed. They break down by the second. Salty drops fall from your chin, drenching your shirt. You press your face in your hands, while you try to stop trembling. Why can’t I stop crying? Brick by brick the walls came tumbling down. You broke down; it was a moment of unlocking the past. All the emotion that you had hidden away in the last fifteen years came at you like a freight train. For so long you had thought that he was gone; never to be seen again. And now Sam was back, out of nowhere he appeared in front of you. You didn’t know what to say, or how to handle this situation. Emotions came to your mind like waves meeting land.

“I mean, what can I say? Another lost city destroyed, and uh… we made it out alive… barely,” Nate told Sam as he finished the story about the adventure in Arabia. Sam was quiet, in total disbelief. Nate looks towards where you were standing and noticed that you sat down against one of the wooden pillars at the end of the docks. “I think it’s time for you to talk to her, Sam” he speaks softly as he points towards you. “You think so? Do you think she is mad at me?” Sam asks as he tries to find the guts to walk to you. “No, she is not mad at you. She is just terrified. I haven’t told half of what happened in the last fifteen years, Sam. And I think it’s up to Y/N… when she is ready… to tell her side of the story.”

Tag list: @kiara-arts @wintermuteway

#sam drake #nate drake #sam drake x reader #Nathan drake x reader #reader insert #uncharted #series #videogame #fanfiction #sam drake series #y/n #uncharted 4 #amor vincit omnia

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zen3to5 · 5 years

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J/H 3-23: Backstage Pass

This was a tricky one to re-write; the changes to "Trials of Michael Kelso" really start to factor in here, and that will lead into the season finale, but those changes meant that Hyde - a very guarded character - had to express certain things without saying them. It was a fun needle to thread, and I hope it worked out.

FF.Net AO3

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SHOW TITLE INT. RADIO STATION - DAY WFPP control room, early afternoon. The ON AIR light over the booth door is on. DONNA is in the booth, unable to stop grinning like a dork as she reads off the FARM REPORT. DONNA: And in pork belly news, prices have risen to nearly 54 cents per pound. Mmm-hmm, bacon! ERIC enters the control room, waving when he sees Donna. She waves back. DONNA (cont’d): And I’ll be back at 3, 4, and 5 o’ clock with more updates. Until then, keep on farmin’! The ON AIR light shuts off. Donna exits the booth and crosses to a frowning Eric. DONNA (cont’d): Hey. ERIC: Donna, you’re doing the rest of the farm reports? I thought we were going to the movies. DONNA: Well, Janice called in sick, so... She shrugs as she trails off and goes to work sorting records. Eric’s frown deepens. ERIC: Okay, Donna, look. I think we need to talk. I think this job is really cutting into your Eric time. Donna stops and looks at Eric, half-amused, half-annoyed. DONNA: My “Eric time?” ERIC: And I’m very concerned about your diminishing Eric time, because it directly affects me, you know. (beat) Um, I’m Eric. The door opens, and MAX enters, tickets in hand. He crosses to Donna. MAX: Hey, thanks for staying late again, Donna. You know, you might just turn this into a full-time gig. ERIC: Hey, I’m her full-time gig. Max gives him an appraising look. MAX: Yeah. (to Donna) Here’s those tickets. Enjoy the show. He hands Donna the tickets and exits. ERIC: Tickets? DONNA: Yeah. I know I’ve been working a lot lately and I wanted to make it up to you, so I got Max to hook us up with Ted Nugent tickets for everybody. ERIC: The Motor City Madman? No way! Donna presents him with the tickets, and he takes them in awe. ERIC (cont’d): Oh, my disappointment is melting into a mixture of excitement and guilt. DONNA: Great. That’s what I was going for. She gives him a quick kiss, then gets back to work.

MAIN CREDITS BUMPER INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - DAY The next day. Eric and Donna sit on the couch, Eric’s arm around Donna’s shoulders. “Cat Scratch Fever” by TED NUGENT plays on the radio. HYDE comes down the stairs and takes a seat in his chair. HYDE: Hey. DONNA: Hey. Ready for the Nuge tonight? HYDE: Oh, yeah. A night of business and pleasure. He cackles as he opens up a magazine. DONNA: What’s the business? HYDE: Check it out: me and Fez, we’re gonna sell counterfeit T-shirts after the show. I figure with the original concert T’s going for 15 dollars, we sell ours for ten and turn a 50-dollar investment into 250 bucks. DONNA: How entrepreneurial of you. ERIC: You and Fez, huh? So you’re taking a break from corrupting cheerleaders to revisit the old standby of exploiting foreign exchange students? HYDE: Hey, I get Jackie mixed up in anything that involves clothing, next thing you know I’m out my last cent smuggling discount Jordache in from Madison. He turns slightly away, overly interested in his magazine. Eric and Donna share a look. ERIC: (to Hyde) Seriously, man. What’s going on with you and Jackie? HYDE: (warning) I keep telling everyone, nothing. ERIC: And yet you keep doing not-nothing. (adopts stern, “fatherly” voice) “Come, come, my wayward orphan – confess your feelings.” Hyde flips his magazine down in frustration. HYDE: Fine. You wanna know what’s going on? (beat) You know that episode of Wild Kingdom where the pilot fish hangs around the school of sharks? We can’t get rid of the pilot fish, so someone’s gotta show her how to be badass. Eric scoffs and Donna chuckles. DONNA: Well, if the shark had any other ideas, he might want to make a move, or else the pilot fish might just go back to the big, dumb Kelso fish. HYDE: (scoffs) Yeah, right. He goes back to his magazine. DONNA: Really, Hyde, I think he and Jackie are gonna get back together. HYDE: Trust me, that door’s closed. There’s no way Jackie’s going out with Kelso again. CUT TO: INT. CAR - DAY The inside of a Lincoln, parked in a random lot. KELSO sits in the driver’s seat, and JACKIE in the passenger’s seat. “Fins” by Jimmy Buffett plays on the car radio. KELSO: I want you to go out with me again. JACKIE: What? KELSO: Look, I know we were gonna stick to being just friends, but it’s been going so well that I think we should give us another try as a couple. Jackie looks skeptical. Undeterred, Kelso leans a little closer. KELSO (cont’d): We can start slow. Try one date, see how it goes. And it’ll be full of all the romantic magic you love. And I know magic. He waves his hands around, turning the flailing into the thumb removal magic trick. JACKIE: (giggling) Michael, I don’t know. KELSO: Come on, Jackie. Just one date. Please? He gives her a big puppy-dog face. JACKIE: (laughs) All right, Michael. You win. So, where are we going on our second first date? KELSO: The Ted Nugent concert. JACKIE: Michael, we’re all going to the Ted Nugent concert. KELSO: Hey, a date with all our friends there! Now how’s that for magic? He beams at Jackie, who shakes her head and smiles. CUT TO: INT. FORMAN KITCHEN - EVENING Later that day. With the kids out at the show, it’s poker night with the Pinciottis. RED, MIDGE, KITTY, and BOB all sit around the kitchen table with cards and drinks. BOB: You know – (points to Midge) Our anniversary’s coming up. Eighteen years. I can still remember the first time I saw Midgie. She was the tallest girl in chemistry class. MIDGE: And Bob was the shortest boy. But what he lacked in height, he made up for in shortness. The Pinciottis beam at each other. Red turns away to hide his eye roll. KITTY: Red, do you remember when we first met? RED: Like it was yesterday. He leans back, and we cut to: INT. DANCE HALL – NIGHT FLASHBACK. A USO dance is underway, with great swing music and plenty of punch. A YOUNG RED stands near the punch bowl with a few army officers and navy sailors, spiking the punch with rum. RED (v.o.): It was 1952 at a USO dance. Me and my buddies were blowing off steam. And suddenly, I saw her. Red looks up from the punch and sees a YOUNG KITTY, bathed in flattering light, across the dance floor. RED (v.o.): She was the most beautiful girl in the joint. A MARINE gets between them as he leers over Kitty. MARINE: Hiya, dame. Wanna shake a leg? KITTY: No, thanks. She turns away, but the marine spins her back around by the arm. MARINE: It wasn’t a question. KITTY: I think it was, mister. Red come up behind them and taps the marine on the shoulder. RED: (to army man) Mind if I cut in? MARINE: It’s none of your business, bell-bottom. He shoves Red back. RED: I think you could use a little punch, leatherneck. He slugs the marine good, taking him to the floor. Red stands tall and proud. His teeth actually shine in his smile. Kitty scowls at him, and when she talks, it’s the voice of PRESENT-DAY KITTY coming out. KITTY: Oh, you’re in big trouble, Red Forman. RED: Huh? CUT TO: INT. FORMAN KITCHEN – EVENING The flashback’s come crashing down. Kitty glares at Red across the table. KITTY: I said, you’re in big trouble, Red Forman. You’re thinking of some other girl. That’s not how we met at all! Red frowns in thought. RED: Oh. (beat) Oh! He looks over at his wife. She is one unhappy lady. RED (cont’d): Uh-oh. They continue to lock eyes across the table, while the Pinciottis try to be inconspicuous. CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM – NIGHT Minutes before the concert, a packed house. The gang take up an entire row of seats in the balcony: Hyde, FEZ, Donna, Eric, Jackie, and Kelso. Fez has a large cardboard box balanced in his lap. FEZ: (to Donna and Eric) Hey, you guys want to see our counterfeit T-shirts? He reaches into the box and lifts up a black T-shirt with “Tad Nugent” written across the top. Fez smiles, but Hyde stirs; it’s the first time he’s seen the shirts. HYDE: Fez, it’s Ted Nugent. FEZ: Uh-huh. Tad Nugent. HYDE: No, man. I’m saying “Ted.” FEZ: I’m saying “Tad” too. HYDE: No, you’re not. It says “Tad.” FEZ: I know it says “Tad.” I’m the one who put it on there. I don’t know why we’re fighting. What’s the problem here? HYDE: Because the shirt says “Tad!” FEZ: Exactly! HYDE: But the “A” should be an “E.” FEZ: Well, that’s not how you spell “Tad.” HYDE: No. That’s how you spell “Ted.” It finally clicks. Fez gains a million-mile stare as he slowly replaces the shirt in the box. FEZ: Oh... But there’s no time to dwell on that. The lights dim and the crowd – including the gang – rise to their feet and erupt into cheers as the concert begins. BUMPER INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Red sits on the couch, deep in thought. Unfortunately, Bob and Midge are sat right next to him, staring and interrupting those thoughts. RED: You know, it’s hard enough trying to remember this without you two staring at me. BOB: Hey, I could hypnotize you. MIDGE: I know! You could retrace your steps. What did you have for breakfast? Red is spared having to answer that by Kitty’s march through the living room, an empty wine glass in hand. Red stands. RED: Oh, hi, Kitty. Uh... you know, (laughs) I was just thinking about how much I love you - KITTY: So you remember yet? RED: Yes! (beat) No. Kitty sets he glass down and puts her hands on her hips. KITTY: It was November 17, 1953, at a USO dance. I remember because it was the most important moment of my life! RED: (beat) Really, Kitty? Because in November 1953, I was in Korea. (sits) So I’m pretty sure that you were talking to someone else. Kitty tries gamely to maintain surety. KITTY: Are you sure? Maybe – maybe you came home for the weekend. Red fixes her with a hard stare. RED: Not from Korea. KITTY: Oh, great. Now, neither one of us knows how we met. Well, you better get your thinking cap on, mister! She retrieves her wine glass and disappears into the kitchen as Red lets out a long sigh. BUMPER INT. AUDITORIUM – NIGHT We rejoin the concert just as it ends and spares the accountants any licensing concerns. Everyone is still on their feet, making noise. EMCEE (v.o.) Thank you, Wisconsin! Good night! In a long pan, the gang all applaud and (ad-lib) remark on the incredible show they’ve just seen. We end on Jackie and Kelso turning in toward each other. JACKIE: God, Michael, this was the most magical night! KELSO: You know, during the concert, I rewrote some of Ted Nugent’s songs with your name in it. Okay, which one do you like better: “Cat Scratch Jackie” or “Jackie Scratch Fever?” JACKIE: I love them both! They both laugh with joy and hurry up the aisle, hand in hand. Hyde looks after them. His shades can’t hide his shock. Fez waves a hand in front of Hyde’s eyes. FEZ: Hyde? Hello? We have crap to sell? He elbows his way past Hyde and heads up on the other end of the row. Hyde follows slowly, as if in a trance. Donna and Eric remain by the seats, taking in the ambience. ERIC: What do you wanna do now? DONNA: Uh... oh! We can go around back and watch the tour buses from behind the chain-link fence. ERIC: Great idea! They start to exit, but Max comes down the aisle and joins them in their row. He has a backstage pass around his neck. MAX: Hiya, kids. Enjoy the show? ERIC: Are you kidding? I’m deaf! Max smiles and nods. ERIC: You can say that again, Max! Max sits down. MAX: Well, you know, I’m starting to come down... I mean, I’m getting tired. (to Donna) Uh, why don’t you take this? He removes his backstage pass and hands it to Donna. She and Eric look at it as if it were the Holy Grail (or something.) DONNA: Oh, my God... a backstage pass... ERIC: Oh, yeah! (beat) Oh, too bad there’s only one, huh? DONNA: I’ll be back in five minutes, I swear. ERIC: You’re going? DONNA: Well, don’t you want me to? ERIC: (beat) Of course I do! That’s why I said, “oh, you’re going! Yay!” DONNA: You’re the best! She gives him a kiss and rushes off. ERIC: (to Donna’s wake) Yeah, that’s... (to Max) Yeah, that’s good. That’s nice for her. MAX: You’ll never see her again. That’s how I lost my first wife. Damn you, Donny Osmond! He shakes his head violently as Eric looks down at the stage, troubled. FADE TO BLACK COMMERCIAL BUMPER EXT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT Just outside the exit. The concert may be over, but people aren’t in a hurry to leave. At the base of the stairs, Hyde and Fez try to hawk their counterfeit merchandise. Shockingly, no one’s going for the “Tad” T’s. Fez is at least giving it the ol’ college try; Hyde seems distracted. FEZ: T-shirts! Get your crappy, misspelled T-shirts! Can’t enjoy the after-party without your crappy, misspelled T-shirts! HYDE: (to Fez) I rue the day I took you under my wing, my foreign friend. I should’ve gone with Jackie on this. Fez looks over at Hyde and pouts. FEZ: Oh, yes... Jackie, who kicked Fort Anderson’s ass. Jackie, so good at graffiti. Jackie, with the bobby pins for picking locks. Well, I am not your perfect student Jackie, Hyde! She is getting back together with Kelso, so you will have to settle for me! He stomps his foot and turns away. Behind his shades, Hyde rolls his eyes. HYDE: They’re not back together, all right? Jackie’s learned enough now that she’s not gonna go back to a buffoon like Kelso. Speak of the devil: Kelso and Jackie come up behind Hyde, happy as clams. At least, they are until Jackie notices a puddle of vomit in front of them. JACKIE: Eww! Michael, someone blew chunks. Without missing a beat, Kelso takes the Tad T from Fez, spreads it out over the vomit, and offers his arm to Jackie. KELSO: May I escort you across the vomit, my lady? Jackie smiles and links arms with him. JACKIE: Why thank you, good sir. Heads held high, they walk across the T-shirt and proceed on their way. Hyde glares after them. Fez turns to Hyde, rather smug. FEZ: So... the buffoon makes his move. And she will go back to him. And then who will you have? No one – but Fez. He retrieves another T-shirt from the box and holds it up for passersby to see. FEZ: Todd Nugent! Get your Todd Nugent T-shirts! HYDE: Fez? He beckons Fez closer, and Fez leans in. HYDE (cont’d): IT’S TED! TWO POLICEMEN appear behind Fez. POLICEMAN: Is there a problem here? Hyde and Fez look at the cops, look at each other, and break for it, leaving the T-shirts behind. The cops take off after them. CUT TO: INT. BACKSTAGE – NIGHT The life of a rock star. TED NUGENT and his band kick back after their show, a bevy of beautiful women hanging on each of them. Amps and guitars rest against the walls and furniture. Into this den of cool steps Donna, jaw hanging open. Ted notices her first. TED: Hey, who ordered the redhead? Two of the band raise their hands. DONNA: (to Ted) Oh, my God, you’re looking at me. (to the band) Ted Nugent is looking at me. (to Ted) Stop looking at me! I’m Donna. I am, like, your biggest fan. She offers her hand, and Ted takes it. TED: Hi, Donna. Meet the other groupies. (pointing each one out) This is Blonde Girl, the other Blonde Girl, Tall Girl, and the Tall Blonde Girl. DONNA: Well, actually, I’m not a groupie. I mean, I love you, but I work at a rock radio station – WFPP, “The Sound!” I do the farm report. It’s like, a huge day for pork bellies. (beat) You don’t care. Sorry. Ted stands and crosses to Donna. TED: Oh, you work for a radio station? You wanna do an interview or somethin’? DONNA: Oh, my God. An interview would be amazing. Do you have, um, a piece of paper and one of those, uh... TED: Pens. DONNA: Pens. Exactly! One of the band hands Donna a notepad and pen. DONNA: You are the best. (to Ted) Okay, first question... um... uh... oh, my God, why are you so great? BUMPER INT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT Eric and Max are still up in the balcony, both sitting, Max still coming down. A JANITOR stands impatiently to their left with a mop and bucket. ERIC: It’s not just tonight, you know. Yeah, she’s been blowing me off more and more. And she thinks I’ll take it, but I won’t. Uh-uh. MAX: Yeah, that’s how it starts. You say you won’t take it; you say you’ll be firm. And then the Mormon smoothie comes to town... A haunted look comes to Max’s eye, enough to give Eric a chill. The janitor, on the other hand, is unfazed. JANITOR: Can you two lift your feet please? Somewhat grudgingly, Eric lifts his feet. Max doesn’t; he’s so lost in memories and his trip, he probably didn’t hear. Eric manages, awkwardly, to pull Max’s legs up as the janitor passes through. CUT TO: INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT Some time later. Donna has taken Ted’s chair, while the Nuge plays a section of “Strangehold” on his guitar. As he finishes, Donna leaps up, applauding. When she realizes she’s the only one reacting, she’s flummoxed. DONNA: What is wrong with you people? Come on! That was great! What, are you on dope? They all stare back her with glazed expressions. DONNA: Oh. (to Ted) Well, I better go. My boyfriend’s waiting. Thank you so much for the interview, Ted. They shake hands again. TED: You’re very welcome. You wanna stick around? I’ll let you touch the guitar. DONNA: Really? All right! (beat) Wait, you mean your guitar guitar, right? TED: Yeah. DONNA: All right! She reaches out and strokes his guitar. CUT TO: EXT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT Far down the auditorium wall, with restroom doors. Hyde, coming down from a full run, ducks behind a tree and leans back against the wall to catch his breath. Jackie and Kelso stroll up the sidewalk, their arms still linked. Jackie has a small bag of popcorn. They don’t see Hyde, but he sees them. JACKIE: Michael, I have to say, this really has been a magically romantic day. They look at each other and smile. As they reach the restroom doors, Kelso stops. He takes his arm back, holds up a finger for “one sec,” and steps inside. Jackie sighs contentedly and looks out at the night. Hyde steps out from behind the tree. Jackie yelps and jumps back, her popcorn flying everywhere. She sees it’s Hyde and relaxes, though she still clutches at her chest. JACKIE: Steven, you scared me. HYDE: (points to restroom) What’s going on with you and Kelso? JACKIE: Oh. Well... She giggles. Coyly, she steps in toward Steven. JACKIE (cont’d): Steven, should I give Michael a second chance? I mean, Donna says “no,” and I didn’t think I wanted to be more than friends, but he really has changed. He’s so different. And we’re different together. I felt that tonight. She chuckles to herself and kicks at the sidewalk. JACKIE (cont’d): I dunno. What do you think? Hyde regards her coolly. HYDE: If that’s your call, make the play. Jackie beams and starts to pace with joy. HYDE (cont’d): Yeah, I mean, you made the same call after he burned your house, and that worked out, right? Jackie stops pacing, looks to Hyde, confused. HYDE (cont’d): Oh, and when he first got his van, and you thought that was a step toward maturity, then he used it for nailin’ Laurie. Real good call there. JACKIE: What are you saying? HYDE: Oh, are you not getting it? Maybe it’d help if I waved around some pom-poms and used a cheer with all one-syllable words. Jackie takes a step back; it’s been a long time since she’s seen Hyde like this. JACKIE: Steven, you’re being rude. HYDE: Sorry. It’s my nature to be rude to stupid crap. JACKIE: (hurt) Steven! HYDE: What, I’m wrong? When Kelso burns you over and over, tells you he’s changed, and because he kisses your ass and buys you crap, you fall for it every time? He gives her a chance to retort; she can’t. HYDE (cont’d): I had you figured right in the first place, but I thought maybe you weren’t that square and shallow, so I gave you a shot. Turns out you haven’t learned a thing from me. He starts to walk away. JACKIE: Steven, what are you talking about? What was I supposed to learn? Hyde stops and whirls around. HYDE: To think! Maybe then you’d see life ain’t one of your Nancy Drew, Disney World, unicorn fantasies. That second chances are for losers who can’t figure out that people don’t change, and if they screw you once, they screw you every time. He advances on her as he raves. Jackie doesn’t back up. JACKIE: That’s not true! People do change! You’ve changed! At least, I thought you had, from when you were such a jerk when we first met. But I know Michael has, because I have thought about this, a lot, and I didn’t just believe that things were different this time. And by the way, Steven? I’m the one who was “screwed” and hurt and betrayed. What would a scruffy orphan know about that? Hyde’s face doesn’t change, but Jackie knows immediately she’s gone too far. Finally, she takes a step back, her hands over her mouth. JACKIE (cont’d): Steven, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean - HYDE: (cold) You wanna know what I think? I think you can marry that moron for all I care. Next time you get burned, find someone else to cry to. He walks away. Jackie doesn’t follow him, not even with her eyes. She just stares ahead at the ground, trying not to cry. Kelso comes out of the bathroom, all smiles. He moseys up behind Jackie and puts a hand on her shoulder. KELSO: Hey there. So, the concession stand’s still open, and I think they were selling cherry slurpees. Jackie looks up at him, eyes shining with tears. She pulls away from his hold and stomps off. Kelso’s jaw drops. KELSO (cont’d): Okay, we’ll get watermelon! That doesn’t bring her back. Kelso throws up his hands and runs after her. Further up the sidewalk, Hyde stands alone. He rips his sunglasses off, clenching them tight in his fist as he kicks at the auditorium wall. The policemen come up the way Jackie and Kelso left, each of them holding Fez by an arm between them. Fez is handcuffed. FEZ: (to Hyde) “Sell some T-shirts,” you said. “No risk,” you said. I’m going to jail, you son of a bitch! They all pass by. Hyde looks after Jackie and Kelso briefly, then pops his shades back on and goes after Fez. CUT TO: INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM – NIGHT The Pinciottis have gone. Kitty sits on the couch, flipping through an old photo album. Red enters from the kitchen with two small drinks. KITTY: (not looking up) Oh, Red, it’s killing me that I can’t remember. RED: Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, me too. (sits next to her) But I’ll tell you one thing I remember: I remember that you loved Manhattans. He hands her one of the drinks. KITTY: Oh, that’s right. That’s what I used to drink. (laughs) Oh, I haven’t had a Manhattan in twenty years. She and Red clink glasses and have a sip. It’s a GOOD Manhattan. KITTY (cont’d): Oh, boy, that takes me back. Oh. Oh... The lightbulb goes off in her head. We cut to: INT. DANCE HALL – NIGHT FLASHBACK. Young Kitty is sat at a table with A FRIEND, a row of glasses in front of her. She downs one Manhattan and accepts another from the WAITER. KITTY: (to waiter) Keep ‘em coming. (to friend) Oh, my. I’m as loose as a goose. (laughs) Back by the punch bowl, young Red and HIS FRIEND stand with shot glasses in hand. RED: Okay, let’s do it. They clink glasses, down their shots, set the glasses down, and drop their pants. On their boxers are written the words “HELLO LADIES.” Kitty, her back to them, doesn’t see the mooning. She stands up as well as she can, all giggles. KITTY: Upsy-daisy. I need to use the ladies’ - She turns to head for the restroom but collides with Red’s ass and falls down on hers. It doesn’t damper her mood any; she falls into a fresh round of laughter. Red turns to look at her, hiking his pants back up as he does so. RED: You all right? KITTY: I bumped into your butt and fell down! (laughs) RED: Sorry. My pants were... He helps her to her feet, and they look at each other – really look at each other. Red’s grip turns into a handshake. RED (cont’d): I’m Red Forman. KITTY: How do you do, Red Forman? I’m Kitty Sigurdson. CUT TO: INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM – NIGHT The present. Neither Red nor Kitty can believe it. RED: You bumped into my butt and fell down? And that’s how we met? KITTY: I’m afraid so. RED: (beat) Well, what do you say, if the kids ever ask, we go with the “I punched out a marine” story. KITTY: And I wasn’t drinking, I was reading to the blind. RED: Sounds good. They clink glasses, take a sip, and look at the album. CUT TO: EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT The auditorium lot. The concert crowds have finally dispersed; the Vista Cruiser is alone in the lot. Eric sits on the front of the car, listening to the radio through the cracked windows. Donna comes around the corner. She races to Eric when she sees him, and he slides off the car. DONNA: Oh, my God, Eric, I have so much to tell you! I actually met Ted Nugent, and I got an interview, and I know I said I’d be right back, but – it was so exciting! ERIC: Oh, yeah. My night too. I met the janitor, and I got to hear your boss talk about the sexual magnetism of Donny Osmond. Rock n’ roll! His tone isn’t lost on Donna. DONNA: Eric, you’re mad at me for going backstage to meet Ted Nugent? ERIC: No, no. I’m mad at you because you ditched me. DONNA: I didn’t ditch you. This was Ted Nugent! This was a huge opportunity for me. So, come Monday, I don’t have to just talk about the farm report. I can talk about the interview, like an interviewer. ERIC: Well, you know what, Donna? All I can say is that my mom never would have bailed on my dad like that. DONNA: Yeah, I know. But they’re married. ERIC: (beat) Okay. Okay, forget it. Let’s just forget it. You’re sorry – everything’s fine. DONNA: I never said I was sorry. ERIC: But... you are, right? DONNA: I shouldn’t have to be. Eric has no reply. He’s spared having to make one by Hyde and Fez coming around the corner, Hyde’s arm around Fez’s shoulders. FEZ: I am free! At last, I am free! They were going to charge me with selling counterfeit merchandise, but Hyde convinced them that since Ted Nugent was misspelled, it wasn’t really counterfeit, it was just stupid. My ignorance of American youth culture finally pays off. Hyde notices Donna’s pass. HYDE: Donna, man, did you get to meet the Nuge? DONNA: Yeah, it was awesome! I was right there with him! The Nuge! The flash of excitement vanishes when Donna turns back to Eric. DONNA (cont’d): So can we go now? Jackie and Kelso come up from the other direction. Jackie has her arms folded and her head down, and Kelso is completely lost. KELSO: Well, damn, Jackie, just tell me where the magic went! They stop when they see the rest of the gang. Jackie glares at Hyde, who glares back. Eric and Donna stare each other down. Fez and Kelso shift uncomfortably. The driver’s side back door opens on the Vista Cruiser. Max sticks his head out. He’s still not fully down. MAX: Hey, kids? I can’t find my car. He looks up at them pleadingly. They all start to look in different directions for his car. FADE TO BLACK CREDITS EXT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT Just outside the exit. The box of Tad Nugent T-shirts is right where Hyde and Fez left it. Ted Nugent himself walks up the sidewalk, dressed down from the show. He spies the box and takes a look inside. He holds one of the shirts up to his chest; it seems like a good fit. Ted shrugs, tosses the shirt over his shoulder, picks up the box, and carries on. END.

#z's fics #that 70s show #zenmasters #jackie x hyde #fan fiction #fan script #zen3to5

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ariannjs · 5 years

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MR. HAWK | A SasuSaku FanFic (One Shot)

For Day 1 (Far from Home) and Day 2 (Patterns) of SasuSaku Month 2019

Rating: K

Summary: Sarada has a specific routine every afternoon, but there was something different about today that caught her mother’s attention.

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At first, Sakura thought everything was just like the usual – Sarada would go out upon waking from her afternoon nap to play in her treehouse, return inside the house happily to help her prepare dinner, and then eat dinner with her while rambling about her new discoveries for the day. It’s been like that for more than a week now, but today was quite different than expected.

A loud thud was heard from the front door while she was slicing some tomatoes in the kitchen, followed by stomps of little feet that were becoming louder as it approached her earshot. With a raised eyebrow, the Uchiha matriarch turned and caught a glimpse of her daughter’s scowling face as she ascended the stairs, avoiding the kitchen in the process.

Sakura could’ve opted to cook their meal first and then deal with her daughter later, but if there’s one thing she and her husband have become accustomed to, it’s having a positive ambiance while eating together for it was very rare for them to even be in the same table all at once. So after putting the knife down, she wiped her hands with a small towel and then made her way to her daughter’s bedroom.

“Sarada?” She knocked lightly, entering the room only after hearing the approval in her daughter’s small voice. “Is everything okay, sweetheart?”

But what she saw already confirmed the answer to that.

It was both amusing and heartbreaking to witness how her daughter was just stationary on her bed, with her arms crossed and a pout plastered on her face. Amusing because the sight was reminiscent of a young Sasuke, making her heart skip a beat for the reminder that indeed, she has married her childhood crush and this was her beloved child with him. On the other hand, it was heartbreaking because she has done everything that she could to keep Sarada happy and fulfilled; so seeing her like this now, Sakura knew she was ready to punch to the ends of the earth whoever or whatever was making her daughter lonely.

She sat beside Sarada on the bed, pushing some strands of her black locks away from her face. “Want to tell mama what’s wrong, Sarada?”

“Mr. Hawk never came.”

“Mister...hawk?” Okay, she was kidding. She wasn’t ready to punch a little bird to the ends of the earth.

“Yeah. I saw you meeting with him sometimes.”

Sakura could only blink at this, not sure if her six-year-old daughter was merely imagining things or she has already outsmarted her.

Sarada gave her a look as if she was supposed to understand things in a snap because she was actually the mom here. Then she added, “Whenever you meet with him, it’s either there’s a new letter from Papa or you’ve sent him one.”

Ah. So that’s Mr. Hawk, huh? The Uchiha matriarch stifled a laugh at the realization. She didn’t know that her daughter was a witness to her encounters with Sasuke’s hawk.

And for Sarada to give him a nickname? Ain’t that cute?

She cleared her throat before speaking again, “I see. Can you tell me why you’re expecting Mr. Hawk to come to you?”

Sarada bit her lip, and for a moment, she looked as if she was hesitating on something. Then, she hopped off the bed and tugged her mother’s wrist as she made her way outside her bedroom and towards their backyard.

Perplexed, Sakura simply followed Sarada’s footsteps, until they reached the tree house that Sasuke had built for their daughter a few years back.

With a glance, Sarada told her to climb up its small steps after her. And once her mom was already seated beside her in her play area, she bashfully handed her a small box that has no lid.

“What’s this, Sarada?”

“Uhm...I’ve seen you meet with Mr. Hawk at around four o’clock thrice before, so I…uh...I thought that when I leave something here for papa, Mr. Hawk would get my letters and bring them to wherever papa is.” Then she pointed to the box on her mother’s lap. “I’ve been leaving a letter daily, at first I was sad that he didn’t get my first few letters. So I thought that maybe Mr. Hawk only comes weekly, but it’s been nine days now and my letters were still untouched.” She pouted once more, looking away to blink back the tears that were now brimming her eyes. “He never came, mama.”

With a hand on her mouth, Sakura stared lovingly at her daughter and then to the box she was holding. She never realized how difficult it was for her daughter to not have her dad around. She wasn’t able to take into account that just as she was missing her husband, Sarada was surely missing her dad too.

The fact that she tried to reach out to him with her own means (and understanding of how summoning works) warmed her heart and made her convinced that from now on, she would tell Sarada when she would send letters to her father so she could write her own too, with the assurance that Mr. Hawk would come and deliver them to Sasuke.

Smiling, Sakura lifted her two fingers and gently tapped Sarada’s forehead, surprising her and getting her full attention. “Ne, Sarada, do you still want to send these letters to your papa?”

The sparkle in Sarada’s black orbs was enough to brighten her own day. Upon her daughter’s excited nod, her hand made the seals needed to summon the black bird that Sarada called Mr. Hawk. It was originally Sasuke’s summon only, but it eventually became hers as well, a result of their connection that was visible even to the hawk and the rest of their summons.

The feathered summon appeared beside them then, making Sarada’s eyes widen in amazement. “You came! Mama, you made Mr. Hawk appear!”

Sakura chuckled. “Yes, sweetheart. So, are you ready?”

Sarada was too thrilled as she nodded once more, staring in awe at her mother while she made quick hand seals that stored nine letters in a single scroll.

“Alright. Garu, please bring this to my darling husband.” Sakura attached the scroll to the hawk’s foot before turning to her daughter. “Why don’t you say goodbye to Mr. Hawk, Sarada?”

Slowly, Sarada reached out to touch the summon on its head and grinned widely when it leaned to her hand. “Bye, Mr. Hawk! Please bring my letters to my papa, okay?”

And then Mr. Hawk took off.

Miles away, Sasuke thought everything was just like the usual as he ventured to another unnamed forest in search for a spot where he could stay the night, but the familiar sound of a feathered animal made him look heavenward.

With a raised eyebrow, he waited for the hawk to land on his left shoulder before getting the scroll it was carrying. “Thank you,” he muttered, but the hawk didn’t leave as if it wanted to watch his reaction with the news he was about to receive.

This slightly made him nervous while unsealing the scroll. Did something happen to my family? Was Konoha attacked and Naruto wasn’t able to do anything about it?

He then furrowed his brows at the sight of nine colorful papers carefully folded in different shapes. He tilted his head to glance at the bird on his shoulder, as if asking where these came from because these were definitely not from Naruto nor Kakashi, and his wife was not childish anymore to send him some cute stuff.

Childish. Cute. And then it dawned on him.

With widened eyes, he opened the pink shuriken-shaped letter and what he saw made his heart burst:

Dear papa,

I miss you. I honesly don’t remember your face so much. Please know that I still love you even though you’re far away. I hope you teach me some ninja stuff when you come back.

With love,

Sarada

P.S. I’m not sure if Mr. Hawk would deliver this today but I finished writing it anyway. See you soon, papa!

After staring at the colored paper long enough, he gave the hawk another look, but this time, with a smile on his face. “Mr. Hawk, huh?”

And then Mr. Hawk took off.

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July 2018 | AriannJS

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This was a day late! But here’s my drabble combining the prompts for Day 1 & Day 2! It’s my first time joining SasuSaku Month and I hope you’ll enjoy my works! You could check my other fics here and on FF or AO3 with the username AriannJS.

It you like what I do, kindly consider supporting me on ko-fi or patreon. I’m also saving up for a special post-birthday trip this November so your support would mean a lot to me!♥️

Thanks & God bless!

– A

#sasusaku #ssm19 #ssm19d1 #ssm19d2 #sasusaku month #ariannjfics #ssm

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dr-m-r-ma · 5 years

Text

The Design in Her Mind

Part 3/?

Genre: drama, romance Rating: PG-13 Group: Monsta X

Summary: Sooyeon meets Monsta X by chance on the streets when they try to help her and her friends shake off creepers, but the meeting ends on a sour note. Some time later, Sooyeon meets the boys again, but at Starship’s headquarters. Although they act cold to each other, Shownu becomes more and more curious about her.

Disclaimer: This is 100% fictional and my own story. It is unrelated to the actual events and real persons of Monsta X and Starship. In regards to this particular fic, I’ve created new K-Pop groups and Sooyeon Kim is my original character. Parts will be written in Korean with English translations. I did not major/study in English/Korean, nor was I ever strong in English/Korean grammar, so there will be grammatical mistakes. This fanfic is written in third person and past-tense for ease of writing.

November 24 I don’t want to go to the drinking party. I don’t want to go to the drinking party. I don’t want to go to the drinking party. I don’t want to go to the drinking party. I don’t want to go to the drinking party. Aren’t they just using my welcome party as an excuse to get wasted?

*Clink* *Clink*

“건배!!” (Translation: “Cheers!!”)

The tiny glasses of soju were tapped against each other for the fifth time. It was only the first second round, but Sooyeon could feel herself getting drunk fast. She usually could hold up longer, but the nervousness she had during her orientation and training came crashing down as she chugged each shot.

Glancing at her director, a classic middle-aged man who would rather drink and party with his coworkers than go home to a tired wife, Sooyeon could tell that there were more rounds of drinking to come that night. Before she could get any tipsier than she was, with her best acting face on, she gasped loudly. “어떡하지!! 집열쇠를 사무실에 놓고 왔네요…” (Translation: “Oh no!! I left my house key at the office…”)

She paused and looked around. No one seemed to really pay attention to her, ironically, even though it was her welcome party. As she started to pack up, quietly said, “버스 패스도 놓고왔네… 아이쿠… 빨리 택시 잡아야되서…. 그럼 다들 다음주에 뵐게요!” (Translation: “Oof… I even left my bus pass… guess I gotta quickly hail a taxi… so I’ll see you all next week!”) In the last moment, a couple of hands maybe tried to grab her, but Sooyeon dodged them and wobbled out the door.

As she got into a taxi, she looked down into her purse and sighed. Well… I really did forget my bus pass at the office…. After directing the taxi driver to headquarters, Sooyeon sat back in her seat, rolled down the window and watched the street lamps blur into each other. The cool breeze soothed the alcohol sloshing around in her stomach, and soon she was lost in thought.

The work wasn’t all too hard and she wasn’t the only new-hire on the team, but it was definitely not an environment she was used to. She had heard the stories from her cousins and watched them in dramas, but she didn’t expect it to be so similar. Her experience at tech start-ups in the States played a stark contrast against her current position at the agency in Korea. Still, it wasn’t the worst like she was expecting, and… well, she was working strictly with the global business team and marketing team.

After that night, she never saw Monsta X again. Even though they shared the same building, chances were that Monsta X had lessons at a different building or their practice time coincided with her late hours in her cubicle. They never crossed paths even in the hallways, and frankly, that’s how she wanted it to be. She was forever grateful for her cousin’s friend who made sure she worked with a good number of women and the artists she was in charge of were all female.

In the back of her mind, she could hold onto the memory of Shownu gazing at her with obvious interest. It sent shivers down her back, and she wasn’t sure if it was because the air had gotten chilly, or if the memory scared her, or… if she….

“--기요? 저기요! 아가씨! 다 왔는데…” (Translation: “--me? Excuse me! Miss! We’re here…”)

Sooyeon snapped out of her daze instantly when she heard the taxi driver call out to her. “앗, 넵…” (Translation: “Oops, yup…”) She handed the cash to him and thanked him for the ride before climbing out of the car.

She somehow managed to sober up a bit more, but she was definitely still tipsy. Even though her mind was clear and her eyes had a straightforward path, Sooyeon could feel her feet flopping all over the place. Her mind was soon to be loopy if she didn’t find her bus pass soon and if she didn’t go home to crash in bed. Ah bed… bed sounds like a really nice idea right now….

As she swung open the door, her thoughts were filled with laying down on her soft bed and sleeping, so she didn’t see the person coming out of the same door.

“악--!” (Translation: “Ack--!”)

Sooyeon yelped, “앗-- 죄송합니다!” (Translation: “Oops-- I’m sorry!”) She wobbled around the person, but stopped when a hand pulled at her sleeve.

“어….. 저기… 괜찮아요?” (Translation: “Uh…… um… are you okay?”)

Suddenly, she was shaken out of her stupor and even though she was still very tipsy, she could recognize the voice. Her eyes shifted up from the hand on her sleeve to the face and she sighed. Son. Hyun. Woo. Sooyeon nodded and pulled her sleeve out of his grasp. “네, 괜찮아요.” (Translation: “Yes, I’m fine.”)

However, she rocked back and forth on her heels, like a toy swaying on springs, and Shownu couldn’t help but stare at her with worry. When she could see the blatant concern on his face, Sooyeon held out her palms. “진짜! 괜찮아요!” (Translation: “I’m! Really okay!”) Turning to the side, she squinted at the elevators and pointed in the direction. “그럼! 전 올라가서 버스패스 찾아야해서… 또 만나요!” (Translation: “Then! Since I need to go look for my bus pass upstairs… see you around!”)

Shownu was caught off guard by her friendly tone and the last few words. Maybe she was really drunk and she wasn’t aware of what she was saying, but her guard was definitely lower and she seemed way more approachable. He learned her name was Sooyeon through the other employees, but it was only then that they were really talking… even though she didn’t seem all that present in the moment.

As she walked towards the elevators, Shownu ran up to her side.

Sooyeon looked at him in confusion. “어디... 가는 길 아니었어요?” (Translation: “Weren’t you... going somewhere?”) Pointing at the elevators once more, she asked, “여긴...왜….?” (Translation: “Why… here….?”)

For a moment, he contemplated telling her he was worried. But for fear that she would recoil at his words, Shownu smiled and mumbled, “저도 뭘 놓고 왔어요.” (Translation: “I also left something behind.”)

“위에서요…?” (Translation: “Upstairs…?”) Sooyeon asked incredulously. The boys never had to go upstairs where all the offices were, but she simply shrugged it off. Her mind was buzzing from the alcohol and she just wanted to go home and crash into her bed.

There was an awkward air between them as they waited for the elevator to arrive, and tipsy Sooyeon couldn’t take the silence anymore. Looking at his blurry figure on the elevator door reflection, Sooyeon asked, “요즘엔 먹방 안 하시나봐요?” (Translation: “Are you not doing mukbang [eating broadcasts] these days?”)

She could see his eyes widen, as if he couldn’t believe she just spoke to him. In that moment, Sooyeon didn’t understand, but to Shownu it was like someone had just led him to a surprise birthday party. The fact that she spoke to him first and so casually stunned him, but her confused stare made him chuckle. How could she not know how different she was each time he met her?

“아, 네, 요즘 좀 바빠서 매주 못하고 있어요…” (Translation: “Ah, yes, I’ve been busy lately so I haven’t been able to do it every week…”) Shownu smiled widely as he rubbed the back of his neck shyly. It looked as though he was shy from the sudden interest coming from Sooyeon, and his reaction caught her off guard.

That’s cute. Wait. Shit. No. She shook her head to shake off the thoughts, but accidentally shook too hard. The alcohol in her system simmered and it felt like her head was rocked from side to side.

*Ding*

The elevator arrived right when Sooyeon got dizzy spells, and as she followed Shownu in, she tripped over absolutely nothing and nearly ran straight into the other side of the elevator.

“워!” (Translation: “Whoa!”)

Shownu instinctively grabbed her shoulders firmly and pulled her away before she could run her face into the wall. The force of his pull, however, caused her to wobble around the elevator. Feeling more tipsy, more dizzy and more drowsy, Sooyeon clutched his arm for leverage, and the doors closed just like that.

As the ride started to head to the third floor, Sooyeon squinted her eyes slightly to hold down the headache that was starting to form. Not realizing she was still holding onto Shownu’s arm, she continued to hold tightly with both of her hands. Her body weight was slightly leaning against his body, and Shownu stiffened up immediately.

He, on the other hand, didn’t know what to make of the situation. His heart beat faster and faster every second, and he could feel the heat flaring up from his back up to his neck and ears. He held his breath, hoping Sooyeon didn’t notice how nervous he was, but he had to constantly remind himself to exhale so it seemed more natural. But maybe it wasn’t all that natural like he hoped to be, because Sooyeon slowly turned to him.

His arms still around her shoulder and her hands still holding onto his other arm. Their faces inches apart. Their eyes staring at each other. For that moment, all was silent but both of their hearts were bursting. Both of their minds were racing, but both tried to stay calm in hopes of not being too obvious to the other.

For some reason, Sooyeon’s heart felt full. Something about the moment… huh? The minute she started delving deeper, she stopped herself. Looking down at her hands and looking back up at him, she could instantly feel herself becoming sober. What… was that?

“웁스… 죄송합니다…” (Translation: “Oops… sorry…”) She let go of his arm and shifted her eyes down. In the corner of her eyes, she could maybe see disappointment, but it may have been relief. Who knows. She could never tell what people were actually thinking, and Shownu was especially difficult since he never seemed to show as many different expressions as his other members did.

It was only when the doors finally opened that Sooyeon sobered up completely. She walked out and swiveled on her heels to face Shownu. There was an unreadable expression on his face, but she simply said, “같이 올라와줘서 고마워요. 그럼… 다음주에 만나요!” (Translation: “Thanks for coming up with me. Then… see you around next week!”)

With that, she half-pranced over to her desk and Shownu took a mental note of where she sat in the office space. As the doors closed on him, he looked down at the arm that was in her clutches. He placed his fingertips on the area that touched her directly, and he couldn’t help but smile when heat electrified him from his arm to his fingertips.

*** TBC ***

A/n: hiya i wrote this half sleepy so bear with me if it sucks (lol) also... i really don’t know what to do about the conflict... what i have planned seems kind of cliche/trivial? ugh -_- work is really ruining my creative juices (ㅠㅠ)

#monsta x shownu #shownu fic #shownu fanfic #monsta x fanfic #monsta x fic #monsta x drama #mx drama #monsta x fluff #mx fluff #shownu fluff #kpop fanfic #mx scenarios #monsta x reactions #design fic

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disposedserenity · 6 years

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BTS in Singapore #LoveYourselfSG

I don’t know who would even wanna read about a concert that happened A MONTH AGO. But if you are still keen, hey ho.

*I’m gonna recount the entire day in great detail, so please feel free to skip any details if you don’t care about it.*

disclaimer: all pics & videos are not mine unless stated, credit goes to bts/bighit/fansites/fans

For reference, I was at yellow 1 (left side of the extended stage)

On the night before the concert, it still felt unreal. I was surprisingly calm and I was even watching 聲林之王 with glenn (who stayed over) 😂 I thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep but I ended up falling asleep at around 3 am.

19 January, 6.00am: My eyes opened and I was sooooo effing tired LOL. I swear I was in a daze all the way till the actual concert. We got ready and proceeded to leave the house at 8 am. Once I arrived at the stadium, there were fans everywhere. The group of us (carol, mingyou, glenn and I) decided to grab a cup of tea/coffee to wake ourselves up and I don’t know how, but it was already past 9 am by the time we bought our drinks. Glenn and I went to collect the various fansupport items (a cool thing about kpop concerts is the amount of free stuff given out by fans) and we went to find glenn’s roommate who had been queuing for merch since 6am.

At 10.30 am, glenn and I went to register for soundcheck. The place we were at (outdoor area outside astons) had various dance cover groups, which was actually a pretty good form of entertainment to pass the time. After we were done with registration, glenn had to pick up an item she had ordered from a fansite, which we had a hell of a difficult time trying to find because the stadium is so freaking big. We had to speed walk to queue for soundcheck right after, as we were already late (queueing started at 12.30pm and it was almost 1pm)

SOUNDCHECK:

That was basically my reaction when BTS walked out.

Even though they were in casual clothes and had no makeup on, (Jhope even tweeted about it!!!), in my mind they looked like this as they were walking over to us HAHAHA:

youtube

They performed three songs in total: mic drop, dna and run. I went in assuming they would each be rehearsing their solos, so I wasn’t expecting those three songs to be chosen. But, it makes total sense because these are the more hype songs. My memory is slowly fading so I’ll let drake illustrate how I felt during the soundcheck.

When they all stood in one line right in front of me:

When I heard the opening note of mic drop:

KIM NAMJOON, KIM SEOKJIN, MIN YOONGI, JUNG HOSEOK, PARK JIMIN, KIM TAEHYUNG, JEON JUNGKOOK, BTS!!!!!!!

**when I heard the whistling in DNA**

*run plays* me: YAAAAAAAAS BICTH

me realising midway that bts is real and I’m actually seeing them like wtaf-

armys after the soundcheck:

I don’t know how I ever got so lucky winning soundcheck passes, but I wanna thank all the lords and the universe for awarding BOTH glenn and I this opportunity. Soundcheck is truly such an intimate experience because you get to experience bts in all their natural glory. Even though this was just a rehearsal, it felt like a mini concert and I even told glenn that I’d be fine if I didn’t go for their concert and I can die happy lmaoooo.

Brief soundcheck tidbits (you can read the rest here):

1) Jin looks THE best without makeup, he has such good skin and I swear this man is really really handsome in person. I’ll admit I never bought into the worldwide handsome hype before, but I’m a convert now.

2) Jin kept looking at glenn and I several times and he was FULL ON staring. It wasn’t even a brief glance, it was as if I owed him money and he was waiting for me to return it to him (yes jin i owe u my money and life). I kept wondering if I was delusional (aren’t we all, tbh). To be fair, I think jin was also looking at the barricades behind us and/or staring into space, but this man definitely looked me straight in the eye. How did I survive? I didn’t, I’m typing from my grave

3) hobi glows in person, and he’s really not called the sun for nothing. He was the first one to walk out on stage and he had the biggest smile plastered on his face the entire time. Sunshine radiates from this man with every move he makes. Alongside joon, he was the one speaking the most and leading the members.

Ok, so storytime. There were supposed to be 1000 soundcheck winners but when we entered, there was NO way that there were 1000 of us. Our area had probably around 100 - 150 people max and the same goes for the other side. During the concert ment time, jungkook mentioned that there were only 200++ fans at soundcheck. The moment he said that, glenn and I turned to each other and went “HUH?” and we clowned him because we thought he couldn’t math... (sorry jk bro for doubting you oops). As it turns out, about 800 soundcheck passes were cancelled because they were obtained through special means and connections. AND, the reason they looked really tired/sad at soundcheck was because they were expecting 1000 fans and they probably thought they couldn’t even fill up that amount. :( fuck you scalpers, fuck you snakes staff, but I’m glad bighit decided to cancel all those tickets because those fools dont deserve it and also more space for us soundcheck winners muahahaha.

Before I delve into the concert experience, I need to vent about my stupidity and anger at myself. **CAUTION: RANT AHEAD** So, the standing ticket holders were let in to the venue from 4 pm onwards, and we happily found a spot to settle in and chill. (it was definitely NOT chill in our pit, but that’s another story) At around 6.30pm, everyone decided to stand up officially. Fast forward 15 minutes, I went into full panic mode because I needed to pee. Usually, I’ll just hold it in but my stomach was feeling quite queasy (I’ve been having a lot of stomach issues since november). I also didn’t wanna watch the entire concert with the constant urge to pee because that’s so fun, right? It just SO happened that mingyou and carol were talking about going to the back to watch the concert so I said fuck it, I’ll just go to the toilet and stand at the back too. Went to the toilet to pee and ta-da, ONLY TWO FREAKING DROPS OF PEE CAME OUT. I was so pissed at myself (my body really) because it made me leave my front spot for nothing. But, what’s done was done. I told myself that hey, at least you can finally breathe now (while internally cursing). **RANT OVER**

CONCERT:

Even though I’ve watched so many fancams from their concert, NOTHING will ever beat the experience of watching it in person. I got GOOSEBUMPS when the first note of idol played and they all rose from the platform. Till this day, I STILL get goosebumps rewatching any idol fancams because of that exact moment.

me watching the IDOL opening stage for the 94919994th time:

I was watching IDOL from the back with carol and mingyou, and I was truly thankful that I had the space to dance and go wild. But, that feeling lasted briefly because I realised I was so damn far from the stage. BTS was performing most of their choreographed songs at the purple main stage so even if I was at my original spot, I still wouldn’t be able to see them. The huge led screens existed for that very reason, but my stubborn ass was adamant on watching them on the stage instead of seeing them through a screen.

me deciding to squeeze my way back in again:

After IDOL, it was time for their intro ment (introducing themselves, saying a few comments the usual stuff). Immediately after, they performed save me/I’m fine. I don’t know why my idiotic ass thought this was a good time to squeeze my way in when I should have been FOCUSED on my boys. I was basically half watching them, half saying sorry excuse me to strangers. *bows head deeply and slaps self*

Ok moving on.... I really freaking love how they created the transition from save me to I’m fine. The part where tae gets up into a bridge position was b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l. For some reason, he looked particularly breathtaking doing this move at this very concert. The beauty of live performances, indeed.

Personally, tae stood out in save me/I’m fine the most.

Magic Shop was next, which surprised me because I forgot that it was so early in the setlist. Hence, I was NOT ready for the incoming wave of emotions.

“so show me, I’ll show you” will forever remain one of the most iconic lines in the fandom 😭😭😭 I think I would have cried if this song was played towards the end of the concert.

As per tradition, a subunit vcr is played before each members solos. So the order goes hopekook, minjoon, tae and yoonjin (yoonjin was too!! much!! to handle because it was 2 separate screens and I didn’t know where to look at???)

Jungkook: Euphoria

(aiyooo look at them cheeks *pinch*)

I love how this has now become our official fanchant (for context). Euphoria is one of my fave intros after seesaw and my ears were in for a treat that night. (It was also at this point I decided to just stay in my current spot instead of trying to find glenn). Jungkook sounds amazing live and this made me realise that wow, he really deserves the main vocalist title.

As most fans would have known, Jungkook was so exhausted at the seoul music awards, which was a mere few days before the concert. Naturally, I was worried that kook would push himself too much in sg. I could tell he was definitely a little worn out, but he still gave it his all (bcos its jungkook) and delivered an impressive performance. I’m truly happy I’ve witnessed euphoria live 😍

J-Hope: Just Dance

JUNG HO SEOK, YOU GOOD??? J-hope showed me what the term bias wrecker really meant that night. I think EVERYONE left the stadium that night rethinking their bias list (if you didn’t, you’re lying). His stage presence and charisma is out of this world. Everyone knows he’s a good dancer, but seeing him executing those moves in person is REALLY something else.

my face during the entire performance

when he walked over to the extended stage, I was like

WHO IS HE? HE’S J-HOOOOOOOOPE! LOUDER!

I Need U + Run

I honestly don’t remember much from this except for THE vmon moment because they were kinda all over the place. They started at the main stage, then came over to the extended stage and were just dancing their hearts out freely. The members were all splashing water (Idk how they do it so nicely, I’ll probably just hit someone’s head with the bottle) and there was a water cannon. The water cannon was SOOOO strong, I and the people around me were caught off guard (rip my hair & makeup). Bighit probably knew mosh pit fans were sweaty as hell so they wanted us to take a bath. How nice of them.

I loooooveee the outfits they wore here. I’m not a fan of all white ensembles but on bts, I’ll make an exception. They look like ethereal angels who've descended down to earth for one day to grace us with their presence. I’M HERE FOR IT.

look at all da sparkles (and jimin’s messy hair uwu)

Jimin: Serendipity

Till this day, jimin remains my favourite performer in bts. Whenever I watch a bts performance, my eyes automatically go straight to jimin. As a contemp dancer trained in ballet, you can see how that has shaped his performances. Fluidity is the term I would use to describe his style, because he moves like he’s gliding through water. I often find myself rewatching his fancams the most because he has so much adaptibility, its crazy. He knows when to go hard and when to reel it back in. Jimin has such pretty dance lines as well. He stands out because he really pays attention to the little details (the turn of a foot, the hand placement, arch of a back)

Out of all the solos, serendipity is really the prettiest. The combination of jimin’s glitter shirt + pastel hair + bubbles really was a feast for the eyes 😍

See what I mean? Jimin looks so picturesque even in motion.

Trivia: Love

As glenn pointed out, Joon looks so much softer in person (he’s a real life koya 😭). In person, his features are much softer and ‘rounder’. While he may have soft features (how many times can I use the word soft), his stage presence is a huge contrast. I’ve often noticed that out of everyone, joon is the most focused member during performances. While the others will interact with fans/try to incorporate some kind of fan service, rm concentrates solely on carrying out what he’s supposed to do. I can respect that.

Ugh!!! This man!!! Honestly, I was a little worried joon wouldn’t get the hype and cheers he rightfully deserves but Singapore impressed me. Well done, my fellow countrymen (and foreign fans). There was a girl beside me who screamed super loud and kept yelling “KIM NAMJOON!!!!!” so I was like HELLLL YEAH OKAY FINALLY SOMEONE AS HYPED AS ME LEGGO. Jungkook making a heart at the end with namjoon was so cute uwu. Everyone collectively lost their shit when joon slid his jacket off over one shoulder. King of giving the people what they want, I see you.

**another thing to note is how he always looks SOOO happy performing love. You can see the genuine happiness radiating off this man. It makes me happy too 🤗

DNA

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The main talking point of this performance was that jimin fell. I actually missed it, because I could only see their side view and jimin was blocked from my pov. By the time I looked at the screen, jimin was already on the floor (still smiling bcos he’s jimin) and I was like oh nooooooo. Apparently after that, they coordinated among themselves mid song to tell each other not to do the ending choreo. A PLUS TEAMWORK, RIGHT THERE! tae even went to wipe the floor after the performance, bless his precious soul.

sidenote: I love love their dna outfits, especially the jackets!! They had different ones for the america and europe concerts, but I do love the asia tour ones just a little more.

Medley

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The other highlight of the concert happened here because I was reunited with glenn!!!!!!! I found her just when they launched into fire and we were like OOOOOMMMMGGGG YAS. I actually gave up on ever finding her, but I suddenly saw her blouse from the corner of my eye (THANK YOU GLENN FOR WEARING A PINK DAISY TOP). During the medley, everyone kept following wherever the boys went because the boys were on the moving stage. I felt like I was at a wave pool getting pushed without even moving. They were right at the back at the small diamond stage, so I couldn’t really see much. I had no choice but to watch from the screen.

funny moments: tae doing pubg dances LOOOL , rm’s legendary hip thrust (you’re welcome)

Airplane Pt. 2

I.. actually forgot that this song was on the setlist. It felt really anti climatic and I wish they would have arranged this to be after DNA or something.

*airplane pt 2 comes on me:

Jokes aside, I do love this song. It was even one of my top songs in 2018 according to spotify.

V: Singularity

For the first and only time during the concert, this made me speechless. Normally, I’d be cheering and singing along to all of the songs. BUT man oh man, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from tae. While jimin is my favourite performer to watch, I believe that tae is the most expressive performer in bts. Whenever I watch him, I realise that wow that’s really a celebrity right there. Its easy to dress up and put on a show, but not everyone can really perform. What separates a regular person from a star is the x factor, and taehyung is the perfect embodiment of that.

Look

that

duality

Fake Love

First off, how did I not notice jhope was wearing leather gloves???? Fake love is still that bitch, no matter what anyone says. It gave us goth bangtan and that’s all I could ever ask for.

I wasn’t expecting them to perform the rock version, and I LOVE IT. I’ve probably watched all of their fake love performances, but seeing it live just solidified it as my fave title track from the love yourself series. Funny anecdote: jungkook didn’t lift his shirt up like he usually does and I swear the people around me were disappointed. They didn’t outrightly say anything, but I could feel the sadness 😂

Suga: Seesaw

ALRIGHT, SHE DROPPED THE CHEESECAKE TIME. Seesaw is my fave solo so you bet your sweet ass this bitch was excited AF!

Singapore did good for the seesaw fanchants, I’m so proud of us *wipes away tear* yoongi definitely noticed our efforts and smiled so freaking wide when he heard us (he absolutely has THE cutest gummy smile).

I remember the entire fandom (me included) got shookt to the core when yoongi first debuted the seesaw performance. We were like ‘suga dancing??’ Seesaw as a song itself was already a pretty unconventional fit for yoongi. We were all used to his hard hitting rap songs (agust d says hi) so we were really surprised. But, you can see how much fun yoongi always has whenever he’s performing seesaw and I’m thankful that he reversed our expectations with this song.

Jin: Epiphany

THIS MAN, yes I am suing. His name is Kim Seok Jin. How dare he make me feel all of the feels when I specifically told him not to? Hearing 50,000 people singing “I’m the one I should love in this world” together was truly a historical moment (just hear how it sounds from OUTSIDE the stadium). Seeing Jin channel all of his emotions into this song was heartbreaking, yet cathartic at the same itme. I would have full on ugly cried but all the screaming probably killed the mood.

the gaze of a man who knows the power he holds, ugh I stan

Epiphany is such a perfect song, 10/10. I don’t know what else to say because nothing I ever say will compare to the experience of actually watching it live. I love you, jin (no hetero)

The Truth Untold

v, jimin, jungkook, jin are the nation’s vocalists thank you for coming to my ted talk

I could barely hear tae at the start because of his mic, which was a shame :( Aside from that, everyone sounded really great. TTU is a song that can strain your voice if not done properly. There were definitely some concerts where some of them struggled to reach the high notes or the correct key. One thing’s for sure though - Jin has CONSISTENTLY been singing in perfect pitch and ALWAYS delivers a fantastic performance. Jin’s singing is so stable, it deserves more recognition. I love tae’s ad lib here and how he made everyone lose their marbles after.

Outro: Tear

HANDS DOWN, FAVE PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT!!!!! I walked out of the concert still thinking about tear, because it was THAT powerful. I’m glad glenn was beside me for this because she’s the only other tear enthusiast I know (TEAM SENN ✊🏼). BTS individually have amazing stage charisma, but put the three rappers together and you get AN UNDENIABLE FORCE. I’ll always stan rap line till the day I die. The three of them have such different rapping styles, yet nothing sounds out of place when they work together.

yoongi in headbands is so hot, no one fight me on this

Mic Drop

Second fave performance of the night! (okay I might be slightly biased, since it was right after tear) Even though this was nearing the end of the concert, I was actually way more energetic than I was at the start. It was like I was saving all my energy stores for this very moment. When joon mentioned it was their last song, I was like NOOOOOOOOO WAIT WHAT YOU CAN’T LEAVE YET. Then, I remembered that there was an encore segment and the world was all right again.

I see you stylists with the second white ensemble of the night, and I raise you one. Mic drop is the song that can get anyone hyped up anywhere. I feel like this is the song that you can play at clubs / festivals and it wont feel out of place. Fun story: the dj at dpr live’s show played mic drop and everyone was lowkey jamming to it (also shout out to all the armys there)

youtube

Please watch jhope’s fancam!!! I’ve always felt that mic drop is one of the few songs that allows him to really shine as a dancer. As a hip hop dancer, he doesn’t get many opportunities to showcase it because he has to ‘tone down’ for bts choreos. If you have the time, do check out all of his hopeonthestreet videos to really see dancer hoseok in his element!

mandatory iconic yoongi mic drop

Encore Stage (So What & Anpanman)

All of the cutest and funniest interactions took place right here!!! Before the concert, I was going back and forth between getting purple or yellow tickets but I definitely do NOT regret getting yellow tickets! The extended stage is where you can see their goofy selves come out to play.

joon + jimin’s cheeks: an untold love story

p.s. joon was casually applying lip balm before this moment, lol

me whenever minjoon minjoons

this is peak joon at his final form

jimin got to start anpanman this time!!

cosmo and wanda (I mean vmin) being the absolute cutest

chaotic duo taejin back at it again

vmon was being very very cute during anpanman & so what!! There were so many vmon moments throughout the concert, THANK YOU UNIVERSE for blessing me with the most underrated ship.

noteworthy moments during the encore stage:

-sope freaking looked at glenn and I, and we almost combusted right there. Both of them came over to our side at one point, and stepped down onto this black box platform just below (no wonder they felt so close). Almost everyone else were on their phones, so naturally they noticed us because we were the only two crazy bitches cheering by ourselves. I MADE EYE CONTACT AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS. suga smiled so hard when he saw us going all out, and that’s when I knew: I was yoongi’s bitch for life. jhope was looking at us with a sort of approval *stands at attention* YES SIR ARMY REPORTING FOR DUTY

-jungkook came over to our side of the stage and was just in right front of me. I took this time to really look at his face (HAHA) because I felt like I didn’t see him enough during the concert. He was doing body rolls (looked a little something like this) and everyone around me was busy trying to get his attention. Upon closer ‘inspection’ of jungkook, I have concluded that he is a 5 year old trapped in a 20 year old ripped body. His body proportions are reeeealllyy crazily good - with his tiny waist and long legs (and veiny arms). I can see why people lose their mind over him, but he’ll always remain an adorable bunny to me.

-I got blessed by yoongi’s holy water during so what. I didn’t think I was gonna be close enough to get the water but I GUESS NOT! I’ve never been happier getting splashed with water in my life. I swear, yoongi was so cute bouncing around and just smiling the whole time (I can’t stop talking about yoongi, SO SUE ME)

this is what jungkook looks like in person, can you believe? Fansite pictures are always heavily edited (especially jungkook’s for some reason) so sometimes they can come across as quite ‘fake looking’ when you look at images. Lemme tell you, they look a thousand times better in person. The melanin, the glow, the messy hair, their natural skin - can we get a hallelujah

Final Ment

Their final ment before we parted ways :((( I do enjoy hearing them speak even if its in korean, because you get to listen to their thoughts and feelings. I also really appreciate their attempt in speaking english, because it shows that they care. They might have memorised what to say, but effort goes a long way!

- tae saying we are part of his story, memory and scenery 😭😭😭 who knew it would be a teaser for his song! that sly kid. give it a listen over here, you won’t regret it.

- jungkook saying that the fans at soundcheck (*raises hands* YES IT ME) cheered crazily good. yasss thank you kook for acknowledging us and trust me, you could have just ten armys and we’ll still cheer like 10,000 people!

yoongi was being so freaking cute and for what?? that little pout before he launched into his speech.... HERE TAKE MY HEART

the best part was yoongi correcting the translator (not good night, GREAT night) man’s fluent in english but never shows it off, I approve of this slytherin move. yoongi even mentioned that he thought there was a day 2 concert. live nation, what are you doing??? I was so looking forward to a day 2 concert too. Is minstradamus predicting a 2 day concert in Singapore in the future?? 👀

jin is a sagittarius in every sense of the word. the way he waited for his close up before slowly removing his shades.....I’m honestly not surprised anymore. I’m too used to having so many sagittarius in my life LOL. he even attempted to speak singlish not once, but twice. I sincerely applaud the effort, though my greedy self wished every member tried too (I’m still waiting for jimin to say ‘ zuo mo ni jiang bad de’)

speaking of jimin, he sang promise!! for the first time!! live!! singapore was truly blessed :)))))

thank you God for spending a little more time on this fine specimen, jung hoseok. hoseok is fine, but with his forehead exposed? FINE FINE. *cue me singing I’m fine* everyone was chanting “J Hope! J Hope! J Hope!’ even before he spoke and he was like oooooh, me? while pointing at himself like pls hobi ITS ALL FOR YOU BBY.

yes, you have stolen my heart jung hoseok

I can’t believe this man even bothered to count the days and meals for his speech..... (I like how bts pretends music bank didnt exist LMAO) this man can honestly sell you a trash bag with how eloquent he is. english is his second/third language yet he can construct better sentences in english than I ever will. in Jeon Jungkook’s words “Kim Namjoon, you dangerous man”

Answer: Love Myself (aka THE END CRIES)

At last, the final song dawned upon us. This is it, the moment reality hits you. That we’re all gonna return to our sad little lives after the concert. I was expecting myself to cry, but I actually felt... at peace? Hearing them sing “I should love myself” also served as a final reminder that that is also the title of their world tour, and the key message to take away from the love yourself series. At the end of the day, bts are also 7 young men in their 20s struggling alongside the rest of us. They have their own battles to fight too, but at least we’re all in this together. BTS may be there to provide us with happiness and love, but we must never forget to look inward first. 💜

Welcome, first time experiencing singapore’s humidity?

Singapore air’s just that powerful huh

I got chills, they’re multiplying!

Ngl, Singapore really impressed me. Every member’s solo got the same deserving amount of screams and we even got seesaw’s part down! (yoongi was really happy huhu) I don’t think they nor us fans expected such an enthusiastic response, but I hope this lifted their spirits up. Touring non stop for months is no easy feat, and I hope our passion made them less weary for one night. I still feel extremely blessed that I got to see them so quickly after I became a full-fledged fan. Hope to see you boys real soon! 😁😁😁

p.s. I recommend reading glenn’s experience here, because it is MUCH more detailed and well articulated

p.p.s link to jimin fancams, link to j-hope fancams, link to rm tear fancam

To end off, here are some random/cute pics for your enjoyment ~