#now to slowly spiral myself out of insanity!

[ja-lin]

About 45500 words, and 6 episodes later, I’d like to announce that the first draft of episode 7 and the epilogue have been finished. I had a tough time finishing the editing for episode 6 because some lore had to be cemented properly before episode 7. 

There are millions of possibilities, and my alternate universe fanfic is only one way to handle it. Sadly I couldn’t fit the warehouse fight into my story. So, there will be a special side story later from Ranza’s PoV for the warehouse explosion.

Anyways, enjoy this tiny excerpt from episode 7 while I go drown in coding and drawing.

Yvette “It’s off the books. You aren’t obliged to go.”

Ripley “Dorran, stop being such a poop face. Yvette needs help.”

Dorran “It just sounds like a trap…”

Gage “And, that’s exactly why Yvette needs us as backup.”

The entire troupe agrees, but I’m on the wire about going still.

[lucreziagiovane]

Lowkey if Juan had an arc about his time in Spain, how would you write it?? I hadn’t thought about the resemblance between Lucrezia and his wife before this blog and now my eyes are OPEN. Do you think she would catch on?? I also find it interesting considering the contrast between Lucrezia and Sancia, who Juan maybe didn’t love but was at least physically attracted to. Like how much it manifests in his subconscious as the family becomes more entrenched in the papacy (and by extension the more he is torn from the siblings he wants to cling to) is insane

"Neil [Jordan] was always keen on Juan coming back different and secure and grounded. That’s how I wanted to play it when he came back. I think the shock of Lucrezia actually manning up and trying to kill him had a huge effect as well. He’s growing and maturing. He definitely was becoming an adult. Certainly there are moments in the second season where he manipulates other people in a similar the way they’ve been manipulating him. The scene between Jeremy and myself with the dagger is a last ditch frantic attempt at trying to win him over. It’s kinda successful in a weird way. He’s just a bit useless at that point" — DAVID OAKES

knowing the intent behind his development while he was in spain, i would have definitely focused on his experiences, challenges, and growth. i feel that if the show had given more screen time to juan during his time in spain, his downward spiral would have been even more sorrowful than it already is. it would've allowed more people to understand and empathize with his character, making his untimely fate more poignant. considering he has always been one of the most intriguing morally ambiguous characters and such a tragic figure throughout the show, exploring his time in spain could have added depth.

i imagine him spending a lot of his time there thinking and self-reflecting on what went wrong between him and lucrezia, his baby sister whom he's fond of and with whom he is his best self. she loved him until yesterday. and in losing her love for him, he loses a chunk of his capacity for kindness. after she tried to kill him, everything slowly hits him:

the peasant he murdered wasn't some random guy who wanted to take advantage of his 'angelic sister'; he was his sister's lover. his sister tried to murder him back. and that manic episode juan had after the realization that his face is just like, 'my beloved lucrezia tried to kill me…'—a kind of shock of knowing she hated him and facing up to it.

then his father threatens him with peasanthood if he doesn't shape up and get married, and subsequently exiles him to spain, leaving him to cry shamefully and out of frustration because he doesn't quite comprehend why everyone is angry at him, since he believes what he has done is to protect his sister and family in general lol.

what takes the cake for him is cesare and lucrezia solidifying their relationship by banding against him. the fact that seeing her aligning herself with their brother (who already hated him for not measuring up to the family's expectations and sees him only as a hindrance) against him is really what has provoked juan to act like an arrogant narcissist towards lucrezia. he spitefully refuses to admit he has wronged her (even though we saw him earlier feeling remorse and trying to make amends), instead, he bickers with her.

at juan's departure to spain family dinner, he makes a speech of gratitude to their mother, who, he says, held the family together through all their early hardships in rome, despite the romans' harsh treatment of her. it's basically a speech about how their blood binds them and they should all stick together instead of fighting. this is one of the main reasons i'm fond of his character because, despite his troublesome nature, he has self-awareness about their hurt and his self-destructive nature driven by pettiness. during the speech, he appears genuinely serious, devoid of snarkiness, conveying hurt caused by their internal conflicts. he's too complex yet heartfelt about his feelings for his family and always has their best interest at heart, even when having misguided notions to protect them.

*a moment of silence for the most fucked up dysfunctional incestuous siblings ever*

"I felt in the second season I got to play every aspect of Juan’s character. Some of which I would have liked to explore further, but he kind of had a finite life expectancy (laughs). Opposite François, it was nice to watch Cesare do something, which he probably shouldn’t have done. You can kind of justify most of what he does but as soon as you get that final sequence you realize that Cesare is doing something purely for his personal jealousy. I always wanted to play that. You’ve got this boy. And he is a boy at that stage still. He’s confessing that he’s always been quite miserable and been quite harsh on himself. He’s given them every opportunity to change their mind and see him for what he is. The ability (for Juan) to come back from Spain and be everything that everyone didn’t expect me to be. You get this noble character, who comes back and you think he’s been made into a better character. There’s a strength of character to Juan that everyone doesn’t give (him) quite enough credit for. I think he would have actually won Forlì if it weren’t for his brother. He finally gets things in order. He finally starts to work well. He gets a whole siege together and it’s working. Then it all turns around because of Cesare. And he gets shot in the leg (laughs). How many times must he try to get something right before someone ruins it for him (laughs). He has the worst luck. He never gets a good break. A lot of the times it's his own fault – he’s a bit of a douchebag. But every now and then when he gets it right, he still gets it in the end. He does a successful siege. He loses. He apologizes to his brother and gives his heart to him. And he still gets stabbed and thrown off a bridge (laughs)." — DAVID OAKES

*self-indulgently posting juan/lucrezia for shipping biases purposes*

in his triumphant return to the vatican from spain, he bears gifts to the family members whom he hurt and felt betrayed by, as a way to win back their respect. his father was so happy to see his younger son back that he even forgot about their last confrontation, which had also affected juan, besides his sister telling him he should ask for her forgiveness for 'being himself' and toying with his fear by threatening to visit him in spain to try to kill him there. keeping her cunning wrath in mind, he presents her with a beautiful, rare panther in a gilded, heart-shaped cage. the gift not only symbolizes his love for her but also reflects his perception of her. the panther represents her feistiness and beauty, while the gilded cage signifies her entrapment within their father's ambitions. the image of the panther biting her also symbolizes their eternal disconnection, despite his efforts to earn her respect and reconcile with her. he attempts to bridge the gap, but he never quite succeeds.

and this sequence is so special to me because of his maturity, as he stopped drinking and sleeping around in brothels. like he genuinely wants to impress his family since he had enough of being the screw-up who tries not to mess up, etc. i think cesare's betrayal of him at forlì has shaken him to his core and made him return to his old habits, and it doesn't help knowing that he has a disease rotting him while alive. considering how juan was aware that cesare tried to seize him from his position at first, but didn't expect that he'd even attempt to indirectly kill him to get the position that juan has, since he never even took his quarrel with cesare seriously and would never betray him despite everything. when juan tried to make rodrigo believe him about cesare's scheming, yet rodrigo refused to believe juan and implied giving his position to cesare, that's when he grabbed the knife and truly threatened to kill himself and guilt-trip rodrigo into keeping it...

wait i just realized this is getting too long (and a bit off-topic) oops! to answer your question, i don't think lucrezia would ever realize that juan has chosen a wife who bears a striking resemblance to her. for those who don't know or haven't noticed, it wasn't the real maria's portrait used in the show, but rather a picture of someone who resembles holliday grainger's features (curly blond hair, full lips, and chubby cheeks) as some sort of subtext of juan's feelings for lucrezia. i don't think juan even realizes that he has incestuous feelings for lucrezia, unlike cesare who already knows but is repressed about them. lucrezia didn't even suspect juan's drunken, stalkerish behavior, his anger-driven jealousy, and his obsession over her purity, all of which could stem from incestuous feelings lol.

like any privileged, womanizing youth in a patriarchal system, he enjoyed his carnal relationship with sancia, struck by her beauty. she asserts her dominance in the relationship with her fearless personality and seductive charm. it was exciting for her too as marrying into the family didn't stop her from living her life and having an affair. that being said, there was no romance between them, and it was rather obvious that none of the three siblings had managed to find a romantic relationship that would actually work...

it's sad that cesare, lucrezia, and juan are unaware that they're cursed with being incestuously involved with each other, either emotionally or physically. these taboo feelings stem from the dysfunctional and unhealthy dynamics that have driven them to extremes with each other, leaving them feeling trapped in their father's vicious cycle of ambitions. while lucrezia and cesare realize this and act on it, leading to the collapse of everything around them, juan only realizes it when it's too late, through an opium-induced moment of clarity. however, his siblings will always see him as someone who antagonizes them, when in reality it's quite the opposite. there are so many misunderstandings, misconceptions, etc. peak doomed siblings kind of tragedy tbh

[hdra77]

Ok since this blog is kinda getting alot of attention i'll just make a pinned post about a little bit of myself

---- interested in commissioning me? my art commission page can be found here! i accept payment through ko-fi or paypal! feel free to dm to inquire or if you have questions! :D

!! DISCLAIMER !!

Btw please read this before following my blog!! There would be gore,body horror,dark themes and even some suggestive themes Sometimes but overall i do not post any explicit nsfw here !! (they can be filtered through tags but just putting this here as a heads up)

tags are usually: #cw body horror, #tw body horror #cw gore, #tw gore, #cw suggestive, #tw suggestive

Heyy! i'm Soren!

He/Him

You can call me zarou or dra

I am bilingual but im more comfortable speaking in english (still bad at it actually)

i really like cybercore,webcore,warcore aesthetic it may not look like it right now but expect a whole bunch of techcore designs soon

Oh and i am also a huge fan of astronomy,space and all of that sort. Along with post apocalyptic settings,body horror elements and eldritch beings.

Using my art as PFPs/Banners is okay! As long as you give proper credit! But reuploading my works without my permission or claiming them as your own is NOT okay. I will find you and i will hunt you down and turn you into a helpless flopping fish gasping for air.

Inspirations is ok too!! But please do not directly copy from the original work.

Commissions: open

Art trades: friends/mutuals only

my DNI are basically the general DNI: proshippers,homophobes,etc. you know, the general

my interest varies but i currently hyperfixtate on these fandoms so far:

Rainworld

Nine Sols

Marikinonline4

Animator vs Animation/Animation vs Minecraft

Warrior cats

My dms here are also open so feel free to send me a message! (No weird dms or you get instant block)

Im busy and i dont check discord as frequently but i would be happy to talk to you! I would also be glad to make friends im not intimidating i promise i dont bite totally-

My ask box are always open! Ask me anything basically, my aus, ocs, pretty much anything. You can also send some requests but they will take a gajillion years to finish but i promise ill get them done soon!

My socials:

Twitter - HINDRANCE77 (!! page contains some suggestive themes !!)

Youtube - HINDRANCE77

Tumblr - hdra77 (you are literally here right now)

Ko-fi - HINDRANCE77

My tags:

#hdra7shitposts - yes, shitposts

#fishdoesart - all my art comes here

#fishdoesdoodles - random doodles and some occasional shitposting, mostly on ms paint

#fishdoesrequests - all my art requests comes here, so far this is where you find my ship requests (still open for now btw)

#wips - wips

#fishbites.txt - ramblings

#othersart - gifts/fanarts! Sometimes some reblogs

#asks - all of my responses comes here

My other blogs:

@nyaworld-askblog - for the nyaworld au! this blog is story driven but asks for specific characters are always welcome!

@fallowclans-unruly-demise - for a warrior cats clangen blog, still stuck in hiatus void

My Rainworld AU tags:

#rw voided au - simple AU about iterators called voideds who drains void fluids out of other iterators, theres also some rot infection going on too

#rw disarray au/SYSTEM FAILURE - a virus in Lttm's code had created a fatal error in her system which caused her to slowly spiral into insanity as she would slowly loosen her grip onto reality, claiming that she had found the solution to their problem..but was it really the answer all along?

#rw nyaworld au - joke au about the entire rainworld cast taking place in the 2000's this one is purely just for nostalgia purposes

#into the sigverse - technically considered an au. this is just a silly little askblog about different versions of NSH interacting because for some reason they can now magically interact with different alternate universe versions of themselves. ocs being used to interact is allowed to!! anyone can use this tag however they please you don't have to send me asks to be a part of the sigverse

My Rainworld Oc tags:

#Sector7c - official oc local group tag!

#7c dystopian arbitrary

#7c golden life

#rw ocs

#ocs

-- still WIP --

[le-panda-chocovore]

Satosugu Hurt/Comfort + Fluff

@get0suguru I said I would so here it is !

Honestly, I don't think I'll write an entire fic but I need to get the ideas out of my head. Feel free to use this for your inspiration (and send me the link please !)

This is not properly written, this was a bullet list of ideas and I just took off the bullets because the paragraph became longer and longer and it was a mess. Feel free to use this for your own inspiration (and please send me the link if you publish something) !

English isn't my first language and I'm very tired, sorry for the mistakes.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Geto Suguru & Gojo Satoru - 3rd year students

After Riko's death, Suguru slowly starts to spiral and question his role in the world, while Satoru starts training more and more alone and is sent on solo missions. The encounter with Yuki worsens Suguru's state.

Satoru notices that something's wrong and invites Suguru to eat something with him. Suguru feels a bit better when those blue eyes are looking at him. They make the habit of sharing a meal whenever they can.

They spend more and more time away from each other and Suguru's still spiraling, but every time they manage to meet, he allows himself to enjoy the life he has a little bit. Those blue eyes might be worth the pain.

Haibara dies and Suguru's hate for non-sorcerer is growing even quicker than before. He wonders why he's still there trying to protect them. He doesn't want to risk his life for them. He doesn't want to lose his friends for them.

A few days after that, Satoru finds his friend standing alone in the gymnasium. "You look like you're going to disappear." Suguru doesn't look at him when he answers "I'm so tired. I don't think I can keep going on." Satoru hugs him desperatly "Please stay with me. I'll figure things out, I'll make it easier for you, I'll give you everything. Stay for me. Please."

-Alternative to the emotional moment because Gojo won't act serious if he's not forced to (and because I don't know which dialogue I prefer)- Satoru, half-joking : "You look like a ghost, like you could disappear anytime." Suguru, not looking at him : "Maybe I can. Maybe I will. I can't find anything worth the sacrifice, I can't bring myself to be happy in this world." Satoru, rolling his eyes like the dramaking he is : "Duh, I'm here idiot ! Am I not the source of your happiness ? Am I not the best thing that happened in your life ? Am I not the one who brings a smile on your pretty face ? Don't you dare say that nothing in this world can make you happy when you're friend with me, dumbass !" Suguru is speechless, then he laughs and Satoru's proud to be right. Suguru calls him an idiot, but he agrees.

They're even closer than before now, always touching some part of their skin whenever they're together, and Satoru constantly reminds Suguru that everything will be fine as long as they stay together. He says things like "Look at me, I'm here." and "Can you stay for me ?" and "Remember that you're not alone" and "Just try to endure it a bit longer, I'm with you" every now and then. It gives Suguru the strength to keep going day by day despite his deep disgust with the jujutsu world.

Sometimes, Satoru is away for a long time, and Suguru is alone with the disgusting taste of the curses he has to swallow. He feels sick and awful, and he's so close to giving up everything. Satoru calls him when he can but he won't be back soon. He makes him promise to wait, and Suguru's not sure if he can do it. So Suguru crashes into Satoru's room and spends the entire time in the bed, which smells like Satoru. It helps.

One time they're cuddling in Suguru's bed (because Satoru decided he would sleep there that night) and Suguru grows an obsession with Satoru's small waist. Like, he can't stop touching it, it's driving him insane, he feels so high, like he just took every drug existing. Of course Satoru notices "Is that me or are you having an existential crisis over my waist ?" but of course it doesn't bother him at all. Now he uses this too as an argument to make Suguru stay at the school : "You can't live without my perfect body. Can you imagine running away and not being able to touch me anymore ?" The worst part is that it works.

Suguru saves the twins and kills the two adults who were accusing them, but he restrains himself from destroying the whole village. Instead, he calls Satoru who immediately teleports there despite being on a mission elsewhere. Satoru covers the crime scene and tells Suguru to pretend that the two non-sorcerers got killed during the fight against the curse. It's classified as collateral damage. The two of them bring Mimiko and Nanako to the school and teach them about the curses and the exorcists.

Now, Suguru has two more reasons to stay. He's still depressed and he still hates the monkeys, but he starts to believe that things would end up fine. He has people to protect now, he has people to love. He can fight for that.

When they graduate, Satoru and Suguru move out of the school with twins, and they take Megumi and Tsukimi with them.

[kjzlstuio]

Hello I saw your post, how about tsp headcanons or maybe anything about your au?

OH SHIT SOMEONE PERCIEVED MY AU

I feel like everyone that gets into tsp has an au for their own interpretation and story, so minee uhhhhh I had a plan to make a whole fic + illustration series for it, but I dont have the time or motivation so I'm cool with infodumping. Actually, getting it all down now would make it easier to release content for it, so win win !!

SUPER LONG INFODUMP INCOMING

My au is mostly a character exploration of Stanley and Narrator after years in isolation before it starts getting meta. From adjustment to their new lives, to the evolution of their relationship through insanity, and finally discovering the truth of their world to break free.

The first few chapters are dedicated to Stanley's adjustment from his real life to the game. Chapter 1 follows his daily routine, his commute, his entrance into the building, and suddenly, the silence of his branch. His job wasn't very interactive in the first place, inputting what he was told into spreadsheets or other, but simply pressing buttons is a gross simplification of it. The oddity of the situation hits him, and the narration begins. Truthfully, the Narrator's words align with his thoughts, so while he is uneasy, he does as told because he'd do the same. The Freedom Ending is full of revelations and emotions as he reflects on his life, corners of the office he hadn't seen. Stanley steps outside, the daylight grows brighter, and he resets. Following this is Stanley's spiral through emotions. He doubts the voice in his mind being his own, looks everywhere for clues about his situation, inputs into the pink screens and tests out the story slowly. From barely diverting to a room or two in anxious desperation, to completely opposing the Narrator in anger and spite, Stanley branches into every ending plus some. While it's true that his life had fallen into monotony, the Narrator mocks and berates him not only through dialogue, but through the contents of the world. The building became nothing but a maze of halls, his capabilities as a human limited to button-pressing, his ability to speak lost completely. It was as if The Stanley Parable was made solely to mock his existence. The Narrator and Stanley battle for control of the situation. Stanley reclaims his pride and autonomy through defiance and causing the Narrator suffering while the Narrator retaliates. However, the Narrator always seems to default to wanting a good ending for them both and fulfilling his goal of greatness and artistry. Stanley soon grows to realize this as their time loops progress, and with time, conflicted feelings for the Narrator give in to gratitude and solace in their isolation. (I remembered I had this RP with myself midway through writing, so this might be the best place to put it. Stanley's going through the wringer with his emotions, and at a point, you can get too exhausted to feel what once enveloped you so intensely. Between his anger and his gratitude, there was definitely points of exhaustion. Additionally, even as he "gave in" to the game, he was still exploring every inch, wondering about the true nature of their existence.)

Stanley never would have regained his ability to feel if not for the Narrator. If anything, he should be grateful that his lonely life was brought to someone's obsessive focus. He wouldn't have overcome his anxiety to adhere to instructions, wouldn't have dared explore outside what he was expressly given permission to. Wouldn't have felt so intensely with fear and wonder and anger and self-actualization. He had them to thank. And only them. For years. They only had each other. They couldn't help it that it naturally evolved into something more. Stanley's fear of the situation evolved to desperation once he realized the pattern. Desperation for an exit to insanity for what his life had suddenly become. Insanity to anger, focused onto the source of it all and the mockery of his life. Anger to understanding as the Narrator's intentions became clear to him. Understanding to gratitude. Gratitude to adoration. Adoration to obsession. So on. And the Narrator notices these changes. The Stanley Parable in their eyes isn't a mockery, but an artistic piece and aid dedicated to Stanley. For some reason, even unknown to them, they're very attached to Stanley from the start. While upset to see their piece ripped to shreds by Stanley's choices, in the end, Stanley grows bolder, more expressive, and the Narrator loves to see it. All of this development is slow and takes place within the decade before the next game installment. The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe is introduced to Stanley in the midst of their odd relationship. Not quite a thing, not quite hidden from each other. They've grown into this routine of cycles, and by now, their endings and interactions with each other far outnumber those in the game. When the new content is added, Stanley doesn't know how to feel. The Narrator had been developing it behind the scenes with unknown outside help for a while. Stanley had long given up on interacting with any other sentient beings ever again, so the new content is overwhelming and scary in that sense. The new stimulation is welcome, but new characters? Even hints of an outside presence, seeing the meeting room covered in notes and speculation over collectibles from unseen employees freaks him out. The need for connection leads him to attaching to these inanimate objects, much like his bond with The Adventure Line. The way humans find comfort in one another through touch and interaction is the same way Stanley feels over the Bucket. Stanley eventually comes to realize that the unknown and overexaggerated connection he felt to it was true. The Bucket is a person. In fact, the Adventure Line is a person too. The Wife mannequin is a person. The Settings is a person. That Cardboard Baby was probably a person too. Who knows. Stanley pieces this together from outside reviews of the game, the story of Employee 432, and the Curator. The company he worked for is the same developer of The Stanley Parable and it ran experiments on its workers and environments in plain sight. The Stanley Parable is an interactive recording of the pocket dimension created by these experiments with Stanley's own experiences being put onto store shelves.

There's a whole subplot with the Settings gradually forming a bond with Stanley as well, and it comes to a head when Stanley attempts to escape with the Narrator. Stanley and the Narrator have a heart to heart about everything. The Narrator feigned ignorance to the Escape Pod Ending, but now knowing everything, Stanley wants to escape more than ever. Without him, this fake world can't exist, and all these people will be freed with them. The Narrator gives in with some time, final reviews of their work together, but for some reason, Stanley remains. The Settings wants to make their time endless, but the world rots without the Narrator there, and the Settings eventually has to let go. Stanley wakes up again in his office. He fears that the game isn't over, but stepping foot outside his door, he hears the rustling of objects, the voices of people, and he stumbles through the office, now back to its original form, with all his coworkers within it. It's awkward knowing they've seen so much of him, and over a decade in isolation has destroyed his ability to interact, so Stanley avoids them all in a mad search for the Narrator. When they finally lock eyes, Stanley doesn't know what to feel, but he feels his voice come out for the first time in forever, and he cries. Everyone sets off to reclaim the lives they've lost, wishing Stanley and the Narrator well as the two awkwardly return the gesture. The Narrator, for once, is at a loss for words, and they part ways before exchanging contact information. Stanley stays with his parent for some time, lost and haunted with his experiences, and the Narrator reclaims what he can of his old life, spending many days waiting by the ruins of their company building for anyone who might return. It doesn't take long for Stanley to come back. Living in the real world again is overwhelming, and he took it a day at a time with the help of his family. Coming back to find the Narrator, Stanley shares everything. While it isn't their fault, he can't just forgive them for everything. His feelings are torn all sorts of ways, and they settle with staying friends, there to help each other acclimate to life again with everyone else, but mostly each other. They make it official after some time. Even though it isn't the best decision. They can't let go of everything or each other, so it's a very codependent type of relationship despite how it looks on the outside.

There's a lot of details I left out obviously. There's a whole Curator and Mariella plot, even more details about Stanley and the Setting's dynamic, all of the secrets in the game that Stanley experiences and their corresponding emotional developments, more character exploration for the Narrator and more of how the world worked (The Narrator was actually an invisible floating mass btw), I COMPLETELY FORGOT THEIR IRL RELATIONSHIP BEFORE THE GAME JESUS. But yeah, that's the gist of it. I'll definitely make more content of it soon.

Phew

MS Paint Concepts

[justatalkingface]

Let's Talk About the Toga Problem.

...You know, I wasn't going to do this, or least not for awhile yet, but the way everyone was talking the last couple of chapters (I lost interest after the Dabi debacle, so I had three of the Toga debacle to read!) was especially bad, so I checked and... yeah. It lived up to the hype.

And so here we are where, yet again, I find myself loading words with my pure frustration.

*claps hands*

So! Does this title sound similar to any of you? If it does, that's because it's basiclly the title of my Bakugou post, and that's for a good reason: beyond the extra special last minute writing we're witnessing (the fact her Quirk isn't working right is beyond stupid), Toga's overall problem is the same as Bakugou's, something I'm now calling 'Quantum Characterization', because I'm shit at naming things and I like this name the best thus far.

So, here's the thing with Toga: there's two versions of her, and they're both existing in the same place at the same time: one that is actually doing things in story, Toga A, the blood thirsting girl, and the one that people in story (and to some extent, out of it) react to, Toga B, the love starved girl.... who is effectively a shared mass hallucination.

The first Toga is her actual actions: the vicious, blood thirsty, actively insane serial killer. The main thing that motivates this Toga, the Toga that is actually acting in the 'real world' of MHA, is loyalty to her friends and literal blood lust. This Toga is one who, as I've mentioned before, says she 'loves' things, but actively doesn't understand her own motivations and drives, in part because her Quirk-based instincts are that strong, because she's basiclly a natural predator of humans, and in part because nobody ever dealt with them properly.

The thing is that Toga A thinks she loves all these things, attractive people, friends, blood, and so on, but it's not actually one emotion she's feeling, it's multiple. Some of it is normal attraction, some is lust, and a good deal of it is hunger, and somewhere in there there's a crush or two. The problem is that it's all so muddled in her head that she actively responds to the thought that, X is pretty/cute/or whatever else with hunger, even if that initiating thought wasn't actually about how tasty they would be, so, in her mind, 'love' is the urge to devour someone, for whatever reason.

Now, theoretically, this is something that could be managed, or dealt with, but Toga A isn't aware of this, at all, and thinks her 'love' is normal, and the fact that no one else ever acts similarly to her means they don't like her, while, at the same time, the fact that people negatively to being eaten means they don't like her, or think she's horrible... when in fact, they're reacting negatively to the eating part, since it's killing them. All of this is complicated by the fact that, as I said, she's basiclly a natural predator of humans, but lives as a human, with humans, and likes human, but has no idea how really actualize and deal with all these conflicting facts, or that she even should.

All of this shit, along with parents and a social environment that seemingly has no context for these predatory instincts (I'm not sure why she's so different in this respect, but I don't think there's anyone else in story as actively mentally influenced by their Quirks as Toga is, even if it's implied there's others) slowly festered in Toga for years and years, while she tried to act like everyone else, without any understanding of why she was different except the fact that she was failing at it, somehow, until she snapped and fell back on her instincts without any idea of how to properly manage them. In other words, she killed and ate someone. That, of course, fucked her life up and she went on the run, and then spiraled hard on the run until we get to now: a girl with a persecution complex, always blaming everyone else, actively deluded to how things work and what she's doing to herself and others.

Someone who is ultimately pitiable, but still an insane serial killer, for who much of her motivations go back to, 'I don't understand why no one likes it when I drink their blood'.

Here's the thing: Toga A's story is... actually pretty interesting? Also, with a quite a few similarities to Shigaraki, if for radically different reasons.

There's a lot of fucked up in it, honestly, but the thing is Toga A lives in Tokyo Ghoul, basiclly, while everyone else is in MHA, but she has no fellow ghouls to bond with, or to explain shit, but the fact that Tokyo Ghoul was so popular means that, if done well, Toga A's story could just be really fun to read! Here's the problem: while Toga A is the one acting in the story, people are reacting to Toga B.

Now, Toga B is the one most fans are familiar with: an abused girl who just wants to love people. She's attracted to a lot of people, generally on a shallow, surface level way more related to how attractive they are, but there's a handful she's more actively romantically attracted to, (Ochaka, Izuku, maybe Tsuyu). She craved blood, and didn't always handle it well, but a lot of her problems came from her parents who found that very desire monstrous, and basiclly never forgave her for being born. Eventually, she snapped, killed someone on accident, and had to go on the run where, over time, facing more oppression and harsh conditions, she became more comfortable killing people and feeding her desires the only way she knew how.

This... also could be interesting, but the timeline of it is a bit... lacking. That's because Toga B doesn't actually exist, beyond how people react to her, and so her history is in doubt in multiple areas.

There's only Toga A, a serial killer who hunts and kills people because they taste good... but for whatever reason (*cough, cough, Hori making villains simultaneously pure evil and pitable*) people talk to her like she doing completely different things. The fact that she's killed people, quite a few people in fact, is almost never brought up, because Toga B doesn't hunt people, only stalk them (which is still bad, don't get me wrong, but less bad than the hunting) and those rare times when someone we've seen her kill is brought up, it's brushed over as quickly as possible to go back to the narrative of the love starved girl, instead of the blood thirsting one.

Over time, the love starved girl, the one who is effectively a mass hallucination shared by a good deal of the cast, fell into actual romantic love with Izuku, then Ochaka. She formed a sort of... Romeo/Juliet style dynamic with Ochaka based on her attraction to her, and both of them connected with each other through their mutual love with Izuku, and to some extent, each other, (giving all of this dual love triangle and three way energy, all at the same time, and also sometimes Tsu is involved as well, as a sort of attachment to Ochaka) but this feeling could never be explored due to them being on either side of the hero/villain dynamic, cruelly torn apart before they could be together or even meet by the hands of fate and the indifference of the populace, until things came to a head now, as Toga was driven to the edge by the heroes and forced to finally embrace her inner villain, drawing out a heartfelt confession by Uraraka!

...

I mean... if you ignore what's actually happening, anyways. There was always a problem with this, obviously, but Toga B has so wildly diverged from Toga A that even people who didn't see a problem before are being forced to notice that, hey, something's weird, which itself is exacerbated by both the decline in writing quality and the general rushed to tone of the story overall.

Honestly, my little monologue about 'the love starved girl' is me doing some quite a bit a lot of extrapolating on what their relationship would be if it was actually done 'right', then it is the actual 'facts' we have in story, because until five minutes ago Uchaka wasn't actively... a part of it, at all, it was Toga just basiclly having a conversation with a version of Uraraka in her own head, while Uraraka was just trying to stop her from killing people. The thing is, now, Uraraka is suddenly being changed to also be living in this same story, which makes this whole situation even more awkward, because there was this whole phase of their 'relationship' that, even in the magical mass hallucination land they're all living in now, never happened, and so they're skipping a lot of steps on their relationship while acting like they didn't.

In a side note, in a society where All Might single handedly changed how Japan works, and could probably physically break it, the fact a single person can change the world isn't surprising, it's established fact, because, well, All Might, and also All For One, even if his history of doing just that is less well known. So that reporter in the helicopter might as well be talking about how this crazy stuff scientists have been talking about, rain, which even now is falling from the sky, is wet, and she sounds about as stupid right now as she would if she was saying that instead.

[fluffyprettykitty]

This isn’t a request(unless you feel inspired) but I was reading the prompt list you reblogged that has “I broke his heart cause he was nice” as one and the way my mind immediately went to sweetheart Steven Grant. I don’t why I’m torturing myself thinking of someone saying that!!!! Like, Steven is so broken and Marc/Jake are both desperate to find out what happened and you pop off with that line. The devastation!!!!!!!!! Argh.

I couldn’t stop the suffer spiral and I want to drag you with me! ❤️

pairing: Marc Spector x gender neutral reader (no other specifications!)

word count: ~900 words

warnings: unresolved angst.

summary: Marc needed to pick up Steven's broken pieces but first he needed to understand.

a/n: hi nonnie!!!! I love your mind and I loved this slash of wonderful torturous angst, I hope you like this short piece :D Steven doesn't make an appearance in the story but it's implied they had a romantic relationship that got resolved.

The phone hasn't stopped ringing. It's been five hours since you left Steven's apartment in London and now you were here next town over sitting on your couch. Your phone only stopped ringing enough for the landline to blast.

You knew who it was. But there was nothing else to be said, you wanted out, you got out. That's how it is, that's how it works where you are from and this is how it should also work for Marc. Insane how now he seems incapable of accepting an answer. Yet if he was the one pushing you or Steven away it would have been your fault because he's just so broken.

Unfortunately, he's going to have to learn that you can't have it both ways.

Your relationship started with Marc, in dark alleys, sharing a cigarette together before ending up sharing sweat and bodily fluids. It evolved to one with Steven, one morning you woke up and saw him there watching you in almost horror but incredible care. Marc let you in on his condition because after that Steven wouldn't stop talking about you.

And you agreed. Made you feel all innocent and pure, like the man your teenage self could have wanted.

At first, everything was nice and sweet but you weren't the type to stay somewhere for long, never the type to commit and it was your time to move on.

You had already warned Marc about this. Warned him so that he could also prepare him for the inevitable heartache. For two weeks now. He either ignored you or dismissed you until you finally told him. Bluntly.

That was the last Tuesday. And today just like the other days your phone is ringing, ringing... Steven can't seem to get over you and now Marc's after you. Should have been more careful maybe.

But it was the first time you heard banging on your door.

"Open up, Y/N!" Marc shouts from across the wooden door and his tone is full of anger and spite.

"Or what?" You shout back slightly amused.

"Or I will break this door down with my bare hands."

He would. Kinda hot though you'd love to see it. You get up and slowly unlock the door before opening it, his fist going immediately for the door pushing it wide open, followed by his hand on you pushing you inside the apartment and closing the door behind him.

Aggressive. Typical.

"I need you to explain."

"Marc, I have already said everything there is to be said."

"Did you have to break his heart?"

"That's hardly my fault. You should have prepared him. I am not responsible for him."

"Why did you break his heart?"

This conversation could be endless, you needed to cut it right there and then. Marc was acting purposely too dumb to realize. You are not for people like Steven. Never have been and never will be.

"I broke his heart 'cause he was nice." You spit out, eyes unfazed.

Marc breathes out, tilting his head just a little, and narrowing his eyes. Oh, he hates you now, he hates how much you are right.

"You wanted to hear the truth and that's it." Your stance doesn't change not even for a millisecond whilst Marc's face is getting redder.

"I'm not that kind. I'm not good. I can't play house, bake cookies and bat my eyelashes. I'm not the person you bring home to your parents for Sunday tea. I warned you that this would happen and you'd end up having to pick up his pieces."

"You can't be that heartless." Honestly, you feel as if you're talking to a wall.

"I can."

"That's not you." Is he really that dense?

"It is. You just happen to think you're the only one who can do whatever he pleases and have no one question anything because you're so goddamn broken? You don't know anything about me."

"He was supposed to stay innocent. I was supposed to protect him." Marc is trying to relax his stance, to swallow his anger and his frustration.

"Then you should have never let him meet me."

"Yeah, so that's on me?" He's full of hatred again, you can tell by the way his eyes darken and his body gets tense.

You nod your head. What happens now is well beyond your concern.

"You could have been nicer about it."

"I am nice about it. I haven't slammed the door in your face yet." He stares at you, then back at the door, then at the top of his boot that's touching your slipper.

"I was wrong about you." He breathes steadily wanting to push his anger away.

"I was the one who was wrong about you. Thought you could actually handle a situation."

"You're cruel."

"No more than you."

He shakes his head, forces a polite smile on his face, and turns around to open the door. One push and he is out.

"I'm sorry." He whispers so low that only your heartbeat could match it. He lets go of the door handle and jolts outside, rushing down the stairs.

You were sorry too. Just not for the same reasons.

follow @fluffyprettykittylibrary for updates!

[criticallyobs]

Hi you two ☺️ I just wanted to drop by and tell you I'm currently making my way through your podcast episodes of last twilight (in a bit of reverse order because I stumbled over your ep9 discussion and I was really enjoying it so now im on your second episode) aaanyway. I thought since I've spend most of my afternoon and evening listening to you I had to tell you how much I enjoy your discussions about the show.

I find myself slowly losing my mind over both Mork and day and last twilight in general and im so glad I found you two just picking everything apart and pointing out parallels and potential foreshadowing and urgh. That's exactly what my spiraling brain needs 🤣🤣👌

(Also I'm kinda avoiding the tag on here especially after the last episode because a lot of the day/night takes in there make me uncomfortable but everything you two said about days reaction and the accident to the blame and guilt and intentions was exactly what I thought)

So now imma make myself a cup of tea and listen to the other podcasts episodes until I've caught up and then I hope episode 10 is out and your discussion along with it.

I'm really looking forward to more, have a wonderful evening!!!!

We are in love with this message. Thank you for giving us a chance and taking the time to message us.

Firstly, welcome to our insanity, we hope you enjoy your stay with us.

Secondly, feel free to comment or send us messages/questions whenever you have the urger we really do love it.

I wanted to write a witty, sweet response because this just made our day but I honestly don't know what to say other than thank you.

We love hearing about people's journeys on how they found us, we're still pretty new at this and we are kind of stumbling around in the dark trying to see what works best.

Honestly, when we started we thought it might be a little bit of fun but we didn't expect people to not only listen to us but enjoy it and even join us on new adventures with new shows.

I realized today we have done a total of 40 podcast episodes so far spanning three shows and it has been so much fun. M and I have discussed how we've even noticed how it has enhanced our viewing not only sharing the experience with each other but you guys too but also we are noticing more and appreciating all of the hard work everyone is putting into these shows.

Some interesting ideas definitely get overlooked sometimes when we watch things casually but we are learning how exciting it is to see deeper than just the surface and it's very flattering when a theory or a random thought we have turns out to have been done intentionally by the actors/director etc.

We have some ideas for the podcast for what will hopefully be a fun 2024 and we hope you'll stay around and spend some time with us even when Last Twilight is finished (*Insert crying emoji HERE).

One of the things we are hoping to achieve with our podcast is meeting great people but also introducing those great people to amazing shows, books, and anything else we discover and think deserves more love.

So far we've dedicated our podcast to three shows: Dangerous Romance, Last Twilight, and Cooking Crush. These are three very different shows but they have one thing in common they are giving us something to talk about, making us laugh and cry and bond and grow and that is amazing, right?

Thank you for being a part of that with us.

Thank you to all our listeners, we hope that 2024 will be one filled with us making you laugh and cry and grow with us.

Love Z and M

[comeuptomycl0ud]

Time is longer than I could have never imagined before, prior to the beginning of my conscious days. There is a much engraved-like anticipation and great expectations for my upcoming. Yet, I am needlessly being consumed through everything I have never lived. Birds fly high, way above my ceiling where the sky does not meet another state of being, not yet. I've watched them continually gathering together and singing. The singing changes as the days go, I can hear them sing slowly, passively, and soberingly when they are still hungry. Also, usually when the weather turns to rain. When I was younger they screamed my name multiple times, when I wasn't aware of my identity still. I fell on an invisible grey blanket that had no disposition on anything or anyone. I hardly recognized my mother. I was the only form of existence through this timeline, and everything and everyone were put for me. A game that regrettably resulted on a haunted mind of uncertainty. However, when these birds would naughtily fly farther from me and screamed my name, hidden behind those hills, hung over those trees- I would cease dragging myself through my Grandmother's floors. Sunken on a boat of fear, unknowingly hearing my name being pronounced by someone else's mouth that knew I existed. A stranger's awareness of my silent soliloquies, not merely a simple presence. Being pure and mindless, yet filled with a desire to destroy anything visible and more defenseless than me. Chewing out and licking on bones that weren't my own. This went on for years, as I got better to stand firmly on dry concrete, climbing to the house's roof and stomping on it to scare the same devilish birds that seemed increasingly eternal and wiser than me. Singing excruciatingly, so loudly- so that they wouldn't have to. The days don't seem entirely exact and its impossible to estimate how long that went for, but I can assure that they must be gone now. Although, I would have much rather have them stay despite the turbulences. Solitude is the current spiral of doubt, and I can't continue playing an act of repetitive wickedness. A knight that has gone insane after a battle that wasn't meant for him. He vaguely thought about it, and believed his god-willing fate was to die there. Then he could finally go to heaven. Moving through the slow, consuming, and repetitive passings of the sun and the moon until the awaited moment arrived. The days seemed to go through impossible, infinite loops. Time could have never been so slow. An idea of heaven and a finally comfortable enough, happy enough, warmer enough place for us to stay was encrypted under the bedhead of each individual who felt the same way. I just could have never imagine it would take this long to get there.

[siremasterlawrence]

Birthday wish

I am half a sleep laying in my bed when the sound of a box crashing onto my floor burn fiery hot and waking me up as I woke up in a heat

What the fuck is this? I think to myself sitting up in my bed with it flipping into the air into my hands and I am completely shock to me at this point.

The a small envelope lay on top of it attach to the ribbon and connected to the box as I yank it off and open it up taking the card in

to my hand.

Dear Lawrence,

Happy Birthday! Today is the chance of a no your lifetime to bring your dreams to out into existence. All you have to do is open the box and let it all fly no regrets.

Have a great day.

I scratch my head in a haze of confusion at the item then proceed to slowly undue the paper wrap letting fall onto my bed as the top burst off.

A beautiful colorful array of streaming lights flow into the sky cover the room in a bright aura resembling the aurora borealis so very stunning.

The stream starts to surround me in a super circular string spinning over me sending a deep hit to my soul my soul lifts into the air through time.

“Dust? What kind of gift is this?”

“Don’t knock a gift horse in the mouth.”

“Who is that? Show your self?”

“I am right here! Turn to the side”

“Huh! Aaaahhhhhhhh”

“Relax! Don’t be scared “

“State your reason for being here “

“My name is Jacob I am a angel”

“A literal angel? Yeah right “

“Ever heard of Supernatural?”

“Ummm…that is fiction”

“Regardless”

“Right”

“I am here to grant you a wish”

“Genies do that “

“Don’t never trust those miserable creature“

“Ok then? Why not ?”

“ Nevermind! Choose four people you want in your life forever.”

I scramble in the back of the mind with the screws going loose in my head at the sheer insanity of it all happening so I grabs sheet of paper.

Suddenly I hear the sound a lawn mower in the yard next door blasting high as he rides the grass and I have a feverish dream of him from my apartment building.

I have seen him around my apartment for a few weeks that is his job he owns a business tailoring to peoples gardens and he makes a good amount of money.

The angel stares at me clicking his finger at me his body flashes away into a spiraling in a light form flying past me through the room it zooms straight ahead.

The lights hits him on head on the impact is instantly splashing into his body leaving him shook and the lawn mower stops almost immediately.

Frozen in time for like ten seconds before he is continuing to finish his work the place is immaculate and he receives his pay exiting the lawn.

“Obviously! This is a sick twisted joke”

“Do not use such a blasphemous tone and words with me.”

“Sorry”

“Give me a few minutes”

“Well worth the wait.”

“I’ll be back”

“Is he looking at me?”

“Smiling at me”

“Winking?”

“What did you do?”

“Getting a appetite for life “

“Oh Dear! This is exactly like Supernatural “

“Bingo”

“Did you possess him?”

“Part of me”

“Two more to go”

“Go ahead”

“Is this even ethical?”

“No! Who cares”

The man’s white tee is dirty with stains, his pants is a bit distressed with tears, his feet tired and he knocks on my door and I let him in.

“Howdy neighbor “

“Hello”

“Come here and give me a kiss “

“Woah cowboy!”

“What did you do to him?”

“You said you wanted a Cowboy “

“I never told you that “

“Well! I read your mind “

“Jerk”

“Watch it “

“Sorry”

“This will be quite amusing “

“For you maybe….but oooohhhh he is a good kisser.”

Before I can even think about it his clothes are off in the shower washing off all of the dirt from his skin.

“I have scanned your mind more”

“Now wait a minute!”

“Too late!”

“Damn it!”

“My name is Blake by the way “

“I am ….”

“Master Lawrence”

“I know Master”

“Wow!”

“Do you love me?”

“To the moon”

“And back”

“Sit down for me”

“At your command “

“You love that “

“It just hit me”

“I only realized it today”

“What?”

“You are important to me”

“Everything even”

“The world”

“You believe that “

“It’s the truth “

“Prove it, show me”

“With pleasure “

The end

[barrenclan]

Got another music for ya!! It never ends.

This song feels very Patfwcore. I can't think of anything to connect it to except barrenclan as a whole. Especially when it gets towards the end of the song.

Maddy, I will always treasure your music. I agree with you, too, I like the empty and sort of lost feeling this song has. It fits BarrenClan well.

"I'm a mountain that has been moved I'm a river that is all dried up I'm an ocean nothing floats on I'm a sky that nothing wants to fly in"

"I'm a fugitive that has no legs to run I'm a preacher with no pulpit Spewing a sermon that goes on and on"

(repairs my wall again and quietly sets up an enormous trap door directly beneath the spot you landed)

This is totally a Deepdark song! Anything about a man leading people into destruction with a smile and salvation is always Deepdarkcore.

"A beast in the business of selling forgiveness dead eyes on a treacherous grin And he laps up the vice like a wolf in the night he’s the left hand of God on the stage And with one hand he offers salvation to lovers the other it taketh away"

"So give me your fire give me your fear give me your faith when love gives you tears Give me your heart give me your fate give me your hand when love gives you hate"

Actually, I already agree with you! :) That song is currently on the PATFW playlist.

Okey dokey <3

"Who knows how some people turn to strange ones

Is it up to me to make them into dead ones

(Here we go again)"

"How do I meet the strangest men

They always seem to find me"

Oh, sure! That's always a good song for anger as well as sadness for someone who's died.

"Why should I have a heavy heart? Why should I start to break in pieces? Why should I go and fall apart for you?"

"Why should I play the grieving girl and Lie saying that I miss you And that my world has gone dark without your light I will sing no requiem tonight"

Nice! Been awhile since I've had a Thrasher song suggestion. This is definitely the sort of thing he would teach his kids, Cormorantpaw especially.

"Never say what you really feel Why make a choice when it's safer just to make a deal? Stay away from what causes a stir or offends Keep your heart silent, don't dispute And if it turns violent, make sure you know who to shoot And eventually every relationship ends So throw out your baby and murder your friends"

Two Brand New songs! Must be popular. Hm... I think it could fit Cormorantpaw okay, but there is another character that'd be better, though I think it's too spoilery to name them.

"A deer that a hunter shot in the heart Some dogs that got hit by cars All came to spill their guts"

"I'm slowly bringing you down from the Heavenly gates Now I'm drowning in the flood I made Well explain myself to me on the other side I'll watch from Heaven when I die"

Love a good song about going insane in the desert.

"I won’t stop to drop to draw A line in the sand ‘Cause I’ll be picked apart To pieces by coyotes"

"I might be the brain of evil Bad things happen to good people Good things happen to me"

Ahh, yes! Rainhaze feels very powerless right now, and perhaps like he's just following to his death because he can't find the energy to get out of it.

"Chop, chop, don't want to be late Lift up and carry your weight You've got no choice but to dance In a spiral of ants"

"You can't remember where you came from (In a spiral of ants) You can't remember where you're going (In a spiral of ants)"

"Now, now, don't run out of breath Don't feel surrounded by death, no Take the wheel, this could be your chance"

It's funny, one of the first ever posts I made on this blog was a drawing of Cormorantpaw with that song. Doesn't mean it can't also be Rainhaze!

"Wake from the scar, still feelin' sick Where did it get started? Where, oh, where did this come from? Oh my God, my head's a gun"

[the-fiction-witch]

The Queen of Thorns P2

Media IRL X Fantasy / DND

Character Thomas Brodie Sangster

Couple Thomas X Reader

Rating Intense SMUT

I headed off to a local town to buy supplies from an apothecary, He took the list I made up and seemed perplexed. 

He stood behind the counter, tall and wide with a braided red beard. He cocked his eyebrow at me, then glanced back to the list. 

"Where are you going?" He said, 

"On a quest." 

"Yeah, where? Do you need ten sanitizing potions? You need a Gardening sword? You need a full chain mail suit?" He asked, "You fighting a freaking grass dragon or something?" 

"No, look you have the stuff or not?"

"Alright," he nodded as he headed around the shop to gather things up for me, "I don't like prying but, what are you doing?" he asked, 

"Going on a quest."

"Where?"

"The castle, in Auntallia,"

"The thorn castle?" He asked, "You're Going to the thorn castle?" he asked as he brought everything over,

"I am. I'm going to save the Queen of Thorns." 

"Well... I'm not talking myself out of a sale," He sighed, "eighteen gold kid."

"I'm thirty-three?" I complained handed him the money over, 

"Ohh? You some kinda half-elf?"

"No,"

"You must have one hell of a de-ageing potion."

"I don't."

"...Whatever," he said giving me back my change, 

"I take it you know something about The Thorn Castle?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Go on?"

"I've sold a lot of stuff to people over the years, saying they are going up to the thorn castle," He said, "How many do you think I've seen go?"

"Hundred?"

"Eight hundred and nine."

"Lot of people."

"how many do you think I've seen come back?"

"four hundred?"

"Zero."

"Ohhh dear..."

"How many do you think are dead?"

"Two hundred?"

"All of them." 

"Ah..."

"Most don't get halfway through the forest of thorns."

"Why not?"

"The thorns are alive, they grow in the moonlight, they wind and strangle anyone who comes in there, any vine you cut three more grow from the stump, the castle doors haven't been opened it god knows how long. You're gonna die in that thorn forest." 

"Thanks for the encouragement." I sighed, as I took my stuff and headed out. 

I returned to the little town and headed up to the thorn castle, and prepared all my stuff for this. 

"Hu, that uhhh that's taller than I thought it was," I muttered, I assumed this would be normal castle size but this was huge... and the thorn woods overgrown the castle. "Well... I said I was gonna do it." I sighed, as I took my sword and prepared myself, for the hellish hydra steams, the sharp thorns cutting my every inch, the intense insanity of stress and rage that I would have to work through. "Come on thomas, now's not the time to get a limp dick." 

I did a first strike at the thorns and it seemed to stay cut long enough for me to head inside, slowly but surely cutting myself a path through the thick towering rose steams, doing my best to avoid the thorns cutting me open, until I found the castle door. 

"hu... That was, deceptively simple." I said, from what everyone had hyped up I was expecting this to be considerably harder. But I'm not complaining, I forced open the heavy castle doors, and headed inside the grey stone castle.

The place was empty, covered in cobwebs, dust and where the thorns had broken through. I walked through for a little while my sword dragged across the floor the sound rang out through the castle.

"Now... where's the queen?" I muttered as I wandered the corridors but I stopped short as I saw a sign on the wall with arrows in various directions,

'kitchens downstairs'

'Throne room Left'

'Royal ballroom right' 

'Queen's Chamber, In the tower.'

"Hu... Convenient." I said, so I followed the signs up to the tower slowly walking up the spiral staircase to the wooden door open a crack. 

I held my breath a moment leaving my armour and sword by the door as I headed in, The room was huge with grand red and green fabrics lining it, a green flame still burning in the fireplace, fairy lanterns littered around the room, giving the place a sweet glow, a large arched window at the end of the room where moonlight flooded in, A canopy bed in the centre with beautiful sheer curtains. I walked over slowly to see her.

The Thorn Queen.

She laid gracefully on top of the black sheets embroidered with roses, her head on a satin pillow, she wore a beautiful green dress with a skirt long enough to be off the bed, the top of the dress had long sleeves, and a neckline that plunged... well uhhh to her stomach. them sitting there so beautiful and invitingly nipples hard to the cold, a tattoo on her sternum of an intricate rose wrapped in thorns, her hands on her stomach with a red ring on her finger, her hair in a tight braid with a silver thorn style circlet resting softly in her hair. 

Holy god! she's beautiful! 

Immediately I was breathless, I was lost in a world of admiration, and I was fucking horny! 

Who wouldn't be!

Kiss the queen! Right! yes, the one thing I came here to do! how uhh how do I do this? I've never done this before... 

I slowly moved onto the bed and couldn't help but smile at her, I moved closer to loom over her, I gently stroked her cheek running my thumb across her sweet skin unable to look away from those rose-coloured lips, my other hand settled on her waist but had a mind of its own slowly slipping up her dress and I blushed as I pushed back her dress to reveal her perky tits, her nipples hard to the cold air, I didn't waste such a chance and I softly cupped her breast "Uhh" I gasped, as I felt the elegant softness of her breast by now my face completely red, but I fixed her dress and took a deep breath before I kissed her. 

She tasted like rose water, and she felt warm, and soft. 

I pulled back but nothing seemed to have happened, I waited but still nothing. 

So I kissed her again.

And still nothing. 

Did I uhh... did I not do it right? 

I gave her another kiss as a final try but nothing, So I sighed and gave up getting off the bed and going to leave

"Huuuuu!" she gasped sitting up 

"AHhhh fuck!" I yelped in shock as she made me jump- 

She saw me and a rather wicked smile went across her lips, she chuckled in a sly tone as she spoke to me "Ummm, You must be my handsome knight." 

"Yes." my voice cracked, "Yes. Yes uhh Yes Your Highness I am." I said doing my best strong handsome voice, 

"Ohh wonderful, I've been waiting so long for someone to come and break my curse." She cooed, took my hand and tugged me into the bed with her, "My, my, I didn't imagine my saviour being quite so handsome." She smiled as she laid me on her bed much in the position she was with her now looming over me and stroking my shirt with her fingers 

"Ohh well uhh thank you, My Queen." 

"Aww sweet and handsome," She smiled, "You know, I had always told myself that, whatever handsome knight came and broke my smell would get to take my flower." 

"You're flower? Ohh like the flower the sorcerer wanted?" 

"No," she giggled as she sat on my thighs and tugged down the top of her dress to her waist to fully reveal her breasts "My flower." She cooed, 

"OOhhh... UHhhhhhhhhh.... My queen I uhh I uhh I do not need such a reward I uhh it's not necessary" I blushed, unable to stop looking at her. Even if pretty much every single part of my brain was screaming at me 'Yes it fucking is! TAKE THE REWARD DUMBASS! How many times in your life are you gonna get to fuck a queen!' 

"Oohh please, I simply must give you something for your hard work. and I know you like these." She smirked moving my hand to her breasts 

"I uhhhhh I uhhh I do..." I nodded, "Ohh my god you feel so good-" 

she giggled, "So? Will my handsome knight take his reward?"

"I uhh I would but uhh we don't want to rush anything I uihh I don't even know your name."

"Y/n, and you are?"

"Thomas."

"Well, shall we then thomas?" She smirked stroking across my erection through my trousers,

"I uhhhhh i ughhhh-" I fought back moans, 

"It's why you here isn't it? to save the queen and claim your rewards" She smirked pulling me to kiss her, I happily kissed her back our kisses intense and passionate turning into heavy makeouts almost immediately I quickly melted into her heavenly touch both my hands grabbed her breasts and I let her touch me wherever she wanted, "Humm that's better, Lets have a look see then." She giggled unlacing my trousers until she pulled out my stiff erection, She giggled which didn't fill me with confidence, as she ran her hand from my hilt to my tip causing my erection to tremble and slightly throb for her, "Oh my, very impressive." She smirked she moved my hands away from her breasts and cradled me in her arms so I could rest my head on her shoulder as she stroked my erection a few times her tiny touching caused my whole body to tremble for her which made her giggle at me, "You're cute," She smiled rubbing her nose on mine "Shall we my knight?"

"Yes My queen," I gasped,

She began to hold me firmer and began her gentle playing, stroking me carefully and skillfully you'd think she'd done this a hundred times, I couldn't help but throw my head back in pleasure gripping her waist and the sheets, 

"Uhh... UUghh... Umm, Ughh... UUuh... My Queen... ummmm!" I moaned at her impressive work, 

She pulled me into another intense kiss and I happily kissed back our kisses open and often fighting to explore one another she even bit and sucked my tongue a little as she worked, she pulled away from the kiss as her hand got faster 

"UUUghhh! UUuhhh! Uuuhh... UUummmm My Queen! Uuuhhh!" I moaned them getting louder and throatier, I was getting more desperate, craving her touch, her kiss, her everything. 

"Umm This is fun." She giggled between my moans, 

"Uhhh You enjoying me my queen?" 

"Very much, But my knight needs his reward." She cooed moving away to sit on her knees and remove her dress leaving her naked I didn't even have time to say anything before she stroked my shaft adjusting herself to sit over me with her legs wide apart "Don't worry to be gentle my knight, I want you to enjoy yourself" She cooed, as she guided me to stroke down her pussy before slipping inside, she didn't hesitate to let me slip hilt deep inside of her "Ughhhh! Ohh Thomas!"

"UUghhhh Y/n! My queen!" I groaned feeling her, she felt so good! "Ahhh! uughhhh!"

She smiled and let me move my hand to her hip and the other to her breast, I didn't argue holding her hip to guide her how I wanted her even if she didn't need my instruction she was doing just fine on her own, my other hand playing with her breast as she moved letting me slip from hilt to tip over and over each time feeling her get wetter, and tighter for me, My moans filled the whole castle as she rode me mercilessly I tried a few times to kiss her or please her but she would always return my hands and kept going until I couldn't take it anymore, I grabbed her hips hard and pulled her tight to my chest grabbing her arse and thrusting up inside of her which caused her moans "Ohh my! sweet little knight," she cooed seeing me this way,

"It's what you've done to me, my queen." I gasped pulling her into a kiss, 

"Ummm so cute," she giggled 

"UUughhhhhhhhhh! Please! Y/n! My queen, I'm close!"

So once again she took over using her royal body for the one purpose, of pleasing me. And fuck was she good at it! moving herself fast and hard without concern or a moment of rest. 

"UUUGhhhhhhhh! AHhhhhh! UUuuuuuuughhhh!" I moaned collapsing against her pillow as I filled her completely to the point it even began to spill out of her, I was bright red, gasping for breath, lost in utter sweetness, I don't think I'd ever felt sex that good in my life! 

She chuckled with an evil grin "What a sweet little thing you are," she cooed kissing my jaw, "So sweet, almost makes me forget you taking advantage of me."

I was still lost in pleasure but her words confused me, take advantage of her? when did I? Wait... She knows I- she knows I toucher her! before I kissed her! but if she knows that... she 

She wasn't asleep. 

She! she was awake the whole time she...

Oh my god. 

There is no curse... 

She's the one you cursed the castle...

SHE'S THE SORCERESS!

She knew by my face I had figured it out and tried to stop me but I pushed her away and bolted out the bed trying to fix my trousers as I went but I barely got half way across the room before the thorn-covered steams wrapped around my ankle forcing me to the floor 

"Now now, why are you running my sweet knight" She smirked, 

"No! No! Please!" I begged trying to crawl away but the vine gripped me and dragged me back to her bed "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" 

[youngtomhardy]

LSD (2023) promo shot by Camila Noriega. Edited by Euan.

For as long as I can remember I feel like I’ve had to fight for everything in my life. When my parents outed me, I was verbally abused and eventually made to sleep in the garage. It wasn’t so bad, my dad had converted it into a makeshift studio right before. So there was carpet, insolation, etc. Still it was fucked up, I was only 15 at the time. I only had my bed, some books, and a lot of hurt. I ended up running away for weeks in order to show them I wouldn’t tolerate the mistreatment. It worked, but only because I fought.

Let’s go even farther back: I picked up music by ear in middle school, this is where I learned about my perfect pitch ability. I was quick to learn, dedicated, and honestly a natural born talent. For some reason though, the band teacher seemed to hate it. I understood his annoyance when I would only play the top line rather than my part. But what about later, when I learned to read music? He seemed to hold a grudge, always talking down to me. My friends would openly talk me up to the director in an effort to move me to 2nd or 1st chair. Still, he never budged. This attitude continued with future instructors all the way up until my senior of high school, where they seemed to finally appreciate me. I always checked myself to see if I was rude or cocky, thinking maybe a kind demeanor would win them over. Looking back, I had 0 confidence so that wasn’t it... I just did my best. At the end of my senior year I finally got 2 awards, one including a small scholarship that helped pay for my laptop. That went a long way and I’m grateful, but damn did I have to fight for any type of recognition in my youngest years.

Flash forward a few years, I’m trying to break into the industry as an artist. I have like 300 listeners and it’s starting to slowly grow after my collab with Steve Grand. I see a lot of small queer artists getting press on a VERY popular music publication — no, it’s like THE music publication. I decided to shoot my shot… BOOM. Sexually harassed by the head editor! From the very first message!!! Why am I surprised at this point? I decided to play along in hopes of getting a feature, because who wouldn’t? I was powerless. I remember he was trying to sext me while I was in Mexico visiting family. It was humiliating. I respectfully shot it down and the next day he suddenly, “didn’t have the bandwidth” to feature my upcoming single Fluids. Go figure. Luckily, a group of other very small artists that were being harassed came forward and made a big fuss in the press. I knew I had to make my voice heard, this was my only chance to put an end to it. Guess what? We did. Finally, once that editor was removed, I finally got my first ever major feature. Crazy how much went into that single moment, huh? Once again, I fought.

Now, I face an entirely new monster. An invisible one that is literally programmed to be biased. As much as everyone wants to deny it, it’s true. TikTok. The beast that every artist — small to big — is enslaved by until further notice. Now let me say, I truly am thankful for the growth that the app allows. I’ve never had such easy access to an entire audience. That being said, and i know this sounds dramatic, but it’s just 100% true… we’re in hell. This app is relentless. The pressure to blow up is insane. The pressure to then maintain it once you do blow up is insane. The low attention spans. The coming and going of big name labels. And when you don’t blow up, when you don’t get an offer, when views suddenly plummet… you spiral and think, “what’s wrong with me? what aren’t I doing right? aren’t I interesting enough?”

Directly after that spiral, you go to an influencer party or a label mixer where you meet a kid just like you. Perfect pitch, musical savant, a natural born talent. Just. Like. You. Except they come from a family that loves who they are & nurtures their talent. They get found by Justin Fucking Bieber, just by chance! They get an A-List songwriter as their mentor. They date an A-List teen celeb. Everything lined up for them from day fucking 1. So they’re cocky, arrogant, a little snobby, but overall pretty kind when you’re around. You don’t even have room to be jealous. It’s more like, this deep sadness knowing what could’ve been. It’s toxic thinking so I try not to let my mind go there.

Instead, I try to be okay with knowing my story is different — long, winding, sometimes painful, but always beautiful. I won’t stop fighting until I get what I deserve. Not now, not ever.

- Disco Dad

[turtlemagnum]

for a while, years now, the backyard at my grandparents has slowly become overgrown. the bamboo spread like wildfire, the deck i had known all my life fell into slow disrepair. i still remember a couple of years back, there was a family of kittens that lived in the deck for a little while, until they grew up. my grandparents finally decided enough was enough, and hired a yardwork company to tear it all down. the grass, the deck, the bamboo, everything. looking back at it fills me with an intense grief, knowing that i'll never have it back. i really liked that back yard. i grew up in it, to a certain extent. the grass will grow back, but that bamboo's been there for literally as long as i can remember, as was the deck. no cats will come to our yard for shelter, anymore. part of me wants to say, "i've been depression spiraling for a while now", but i've gotta wonder if i'm ever not depression spiraling. the constant noise, both of the crew working in the backyard and of my grandparents TV constantly blaring loud enough to shake the house, it's driving me insane. at night, i used to still listen to what i'd listen to during the day, but now i take whatever silence i can get. i even turned off my ceiling fan because the noise was becoming too much. i wish i could go deaf at will.

a little while ago, the cat came into my room. she's not the most social creature, but she's been known to come in here every now and again. and like usual, she walked up to me and just sort of... lingered, for a short while. letting me know she's here. a bit after that, i walked out to the kitchen to refill my drink, and i saw her looking out at the yard for the first time i've seen her do it since the yardwork started. i wonder if she cares about it as much as i do. i wonder if she knows how much i care. i wish i could tell her

earlier my grandpa asked how i was doing. i couldn't answer honestly. i don't want to talk about it with them. i've been taught over my time living here that if i express my negative emotions honestly to them, i tend to get yelled at or at best, ignored. at this point i'm starting to wonder how much i want these people in my life at all. it's not even that i want to cut them out or anything... i just need, distance. i feel like i have to live alone on a mountaintop for a few decades. obviously that wouldn't go well for me, but the feeling is there.

i spend a lot of time thinking about the best case scenario for me. i finish my game, it gets big, i get to live out my dreams and never have to worry about money again. i feel like if i didn't have that hope of going forward, i wouldn't be able to go forward at all. i've been beating myself up for not being able to do anything productive lately, but it's occurred to me that i'm in the particular stage of depression where even being able to get out of bed is an achievement. i sincerely hope i'll be on the other end of this, soon. i doubt it's gonna be anytime soon, though. i feel like i won't be happy until i'm able to live on my own and actively decide who i want to spend my time with; or at the very least exist in the same physical space with.

[minimitchell]

consumed by seeds of doubt (ao3)

ee didn’t give us kathy and callum talking about ben and what happened to him last year so i wrote it myself.

.

There’s a stain on the far edge of the plastic that’s covering the table, perfectly coloring one of the white checkered squares in a dirty brown. It’s probably coffee, or possibly tea, that one of the other guests today spilled and didn’t bother to clean up again. It’s almost the exact same shade as the tea he’s cradling between his hands, maybe a shade or two darker. And by now they’re probably the same temperature as well.

Callum has been sitting here a while now. He can’t say exactly how long it’s been, but judging by the number of guests he has heard and seen in his peripheral it’s been quite some time. He’s been drifting in and out of paying attention to the neighbors and strangers coming in to get their coffees, teas and buns; only looking up from the stain on the table when someone addresses him directly.

And even then he only notices them after they repeat his name more than once.

It’s been this way all day. He kept zoning out while trying to focus on the paperwork on his desk at work, but he could never focus on it too long. The words kept blurring in front of him; his brain not letting him combine the different letters to form a coherent sentence. He called it quits after realizing he read the same page of his report for the fourth time without taking anything in, instead opting to wait for Ben here at the café.

But even now he can’t seem to turn his brain off.

His head keeps mulling this one thing over. This one miniscule thing that shouldn’t send him spiraling like this and keep him from concentrating on anything else. But it does. It keeps bouncing around in his head, from one corner to the other, blocking every other thought that might take up space in its place.

If this was about anything else, he might think he’s slowly going insane. But it’s about Ben so of course it takes up most of the space in his head. Just like everything about Ben does.

“Alright, love?”

A bright green rag drags over the brown spot he’s fixating on, leaving a spotless white in its wake after it's done its job. He follows the hand holding the rag up until he lands on the friendly face of his mother in law, looking back at him with furrowed eyebrows.

Her blonde hair is pulled away from her face into a ponytail and she looks exhausted from being on her feet for the entire day. Callum has so much admiration for her. For her work ethic, for her never-ending kindness, for her strive to do what it takes for her family. He relates to her a lot in that regard.

“Yeah, yeah. Just waiting for Ben. He got held up at the Arches.”

They were meant to meet up here after they both got done with work since they still had to pop into the Minute Mart for some groceries before going home today. Callum wants to cook them a nice dinner, maybe open a bottle of wine and just have a nice, relaxed evening together.

Unfortunately, they made that plan without thinking of any emergencies that could come up at their respective works. Specifically at Ben’s work. Callum is trying not to be annoyed at their delayed start to the weekend -it’s extra money and in reality, the thing shouldn’t take too long to fix according to Ben- but it does leave him with extra time to mull this thing over and over in his head without distraction.

“You barely touched your tea.”

Oh. Now that she mentions it, it’s noticeable to Callum as well. The mug is cold to the touch; the ceramic almost icy against his palms. He can’t remember the last time he took a sip from it, but judging by the amount of liquid still present in the cup it’s been some time.

“Oh. Right.”

Kathy takes a look around the café and it’s another testament to how out of it Callum’s been that he hasn’t even noticed he’s pretty much the only person still in here right now. Harvey is sat at the corner table by the window, Callum thinks he might be on break or in-between cab rides, but he’s far away and engrossed in something on his phone. Kathy must think so as well because the next thing she does is pull the chair out opposite of Callum and sit down in it, covering the space where the brown stain used to be with her resting hands.

“Everything alright, love? Is it Ben?”

His silence must be long enough for Kathy to see it as confirmation and her eyebrows become even more furrowed; her eyes taking on that sorrowful look parents get when they’re hurting for their child. Callum has become well accustomed to this look in the years he’s been part of Lexi’s life.

“I thought he was doing better after everything?”

“Yeah, he is. For the most part.”

Callum isn’t even lying or trying to whitewash the truth. Ben is doing better. He’s come so far in the past few months. He’s a different person to the one Callum saw in that horrible room at the station. He smiles more. He laughs full belly-laughs again. He sings in the shower and makes stupid jokes just to see the people around him smile as well.

He’s able to sit in the Albert again without being close to panic. He’s able to hold his daughter in his arms and he’s able to kiss his husband without hesitation. So yeah, Ben is doing better these days. In most aspects he’s doing surprisingly well. In others though, Callum isn’t so sure.

“Still. I’m worried about him sometimes.”

“Why?”

“I’m worried he’s pushing himself too much when he shouldn’t.”

He doesn’t really know how to explain this better without giving away too many details. Details that probably shouldn’t be shared with Ben’s mum of all people. Or rather, details he doesn’t really want to share with Ben’s mum.

His reluctance to give any further details doesn’t seem to reach Kathy. Or Kathy just decides her worry for her son is bigger than Callum’s subtle discomfort. He gets it. If he had been the one who witnessed Ben’s downward spiral last year as intimate as Kathy had - and he’ll never forgive himself for not being the one - he’d be exactly the same. Hell, the reason he’s been spacing out all day is because he’s worried about Ben as well and he was pretty much the last person to know.

“What do you mean?”

There’s no getting out of this one now, Callum knows as much. Kathy isn’t going to let this go and Callum can’t just make up a lie about his husband’s well-being. Just because he might be uncomfortable talking about their sex life with his mother-in-law.

So he takes a small but deep breath and decides to just be honest with her.

If anyone understands and doesn’t judge, it’s definitely Kathy.

“Sometimes when we, you know , I touch him like I used to do all the time before but now he flinches. But he doesn’t stop and talks to me about it. Or tells me to stop. He’ll even make me do it again sometimes.”

“I see.”

It has happened a couple of times now; mostly when they’re right in the middle of things.

It’s been a slow process, getting to a place where Ben felt comfortable and ready enough to be intimate again. They simply slept in the same bed for the first few weeks after they got back together, gradually with less and less space between them. Then they slowly started with hands, then mouths, then more. Just around Christmas they tried going all the way again - slow and steady and with lots of communication and reassurance. Everything at Ben’s pace.

Callum had been fully prepared to wait for months, until Ben had been fully ready, or forever even. He only cared about being back together with his husband. About getting to spend his life with the most important person to him again. About supporting him in whatever way he needed.

But he didn’t have to wait forever.

And since they started having sex again, it’s been really good. It’s not like it was before, it’s different now, but somehow it feels even better. They feel even more connected now; almost like they know each other on a completely different level than before. The trust between them feels deeper, so does the love somehow, and all these things combined make for a pretty good feeling while they’re being intimate.

Sometimes though- sometimes Callum can’t help but act on impulse. He forgets about things in the throes of passion. His hand is too forceful on Ben’s neck or he holds his wrists a little too tight, restraining Ben too much. Last night, things were rougher than they have been since they got back together. Callum had been rougher. But when he caught himself and tried to slow down, Ben didn’t let him.

“That’s not normal, is it?”

“Maybe that’s his way of working through the trauma. To rewrite the past with your touch. With someone who doesn’t mean harm.”

“But what if I trigger him, Kathy? What if he starts associating all this with me. With us. I couldn’t handle that.”

Kathy regards him for a moment; her eyes fixed on his. She’s always been their biggest supporter; has always championed for him and Ben to work things through when it got rough or reminded them that they love each other. Her opinion, her advice, means a lot to Callum. With this topic even more so.

He knows about what happened to her. Not all the details, just the things Ben shared with him when he told him about Luke and after they got back together. He knows that Kathy can relate. That she went through something similar to Ben. If anyone can ease his worries it’s her.

She reaches out and covers one of his hands with her own.

“Callum. Ben trusts you more than anyone. If he’s comfortable enough to be intimate with you and to work through this together, then that’s a good thing. I wish my husband at the time made me feel that way. Ben knows what he needs better than anyone else. Have trust in him.”

“I do, I trust him. I’m just worried, I guess.”

Kathy glances over at the far table where Harvey is still sitting, maybe making sure he hasn’t heard their conversation. Callum hadn’t even thought about that, about inadvertently spilling such a delicate secret to the wrong person. He likes the bloke, but he’s under no illusion that Harvey wouldn’t immediately spill what he overheard to the Slaters. And the last thing Ben wants is have more people find out. Callum couldn’t even convince him to tell Lola.

She must be thinking the same thing because she waits for a moment until she seems sure enough that they can’t be heard, returning her gaze to Callum again afterwards. Despite the heaviness of their topic and the flash of pain still lingering in Kathy’s face there’s warmth in her eyes. The type of warmth he has become so accustomed to with her. The type of warmth that makes you feel cared for and secure.

“You know, it took me a long time to move on. It was different back then; the men in my life never tried to understand, not really. But you’re trying and that’s what’s important for Ben. You’re a good man, Callum. The best I could ask for for my boy. Don’t doubt yourself.”

Callum swallows for a moment; the words clinging to the back of his throat with no escaping. He’s heard Kathy say he’s good for Ben, the best thing that ever happened to him. He has heard multiple family members tell him that. Even Ben himself. But somehow, hearing her say it right now, right here makes Callum more choked up than ever before.

He doesn’t know what to say; how to answer her. He wants to assure her that Ben is also the best thing that ever happened to him. That their family means more to him than anything ever has in his entire life. That her son’s heart is in the safest hands possible.

Before he can even attempt to voice any of it though, Ben’s voice cuts through the silence between him and Kathy.

“Hey, sorry about that, babe. That job was trickier than I thought. Hey, mum.”

Ben stops right next to the chair Kathy is sitting on, leaning down to press a quick kiss to her cheek in greeting. It’s obvious he’s completely oblivious to the heavy tone of the conversation before or the way their smiles are slightly dimmed.

Callum can’t help the skip in his heartbeat when he sees Ben’s smile at them now though. The image of him completely broken and unresponsive on those trash bags still thrums around in the back of his mind sometimes and seeing how far he’s come since then and how much he has worked on himself never fails to fill Callum’s heart with pride at his husband.

He’s so incredibly proud of him. And he didn’t think it was possible but he loves Ben even more today than he did any other day before that.

He keeps watching Ben talk to his mum, just observing the way they interact with one another and the ease they have with each other now. Kathy’s words keep going round and round in his head. Maybe he was too caught up in his own insecurities; too consumed by his own doubts.

Ever since they got back together, Ben has been absolutely clear on what’s okay for him to do and what he’s uncomfortable with. They worked through a lot together. They talked, they discussed, they tried. If Ben is sure about these things, who is Callum to tell him otherwise? He’ll still worry, of course he will; it's his default setting as Ben Mitchell’s husband, but he has to lay his trust in Ben the same way he trusts Callum.

If Kathy thinks he’s doing things right, there must be something to it.

They’re about to head out of the door, ready to finally start their weekend together after a busy week of work and dealing with family stuff, when Callum turns around to face Kathy one more time. She’s back behind the counter now, wiping down the surfaces and getting everything ready for closing.

“Kathy? Thanks.”

She gives him one of those warm, motherly smiles of hers and only nods her head at him in acknowledgement. He’s glad he shared his thoughts and worries with her today and he’s even more grateful she managed to quell some of them with her perspective. He’s grateful he has someone like her as his mother-in-law.

He joins Ben outside of the café, reaching out to thread their hands together tightly. He’s alright. They’re alright. That’s all that matters.

[bigb-enthusiast]

Got a little goofy. Got a little silly. Decided to do proposal prompt. :P (it got so long that I decided to split it in half) In Avian culture, you can show your devotion to someone by offering them one of your feathers. This is typically followed by a ritual where you bound yourself to the other as long as you both shall live. The closest thing akin to this ritual is what humans call “marriage.” …

To say that bigb is nervous would be an understatement. He’s sweating bullets right now as he rolls his feather between his fingers. He’s only got one shot at this and he can’t mess this up. He can’t. He invited etho to a picnic in a flower field earlier and told him to not bring anything. Bigb has already brought the food, found a comfortable spot, and set up the blanket. Now he just has to wait here. …How long has it been? It feels like every second’s ticking away so… slowly… It’s almost painful at this point. He should be arriving soon right? Yeah, Bigb knows that etho would’ve told him if he was coming late… But he hasn’t. Did something happen? Should bigb just forget this whole thing and go look for him? Yeah, maybe this was a bad idea- “Honey!” A familiar voice shakes Bigb out of his downward spiral. So he is here. That’s both wonderful and terrifying. Now he actually has to go through with this. Etho rushes up the hill and stops just shy of the blanket. He leans forward as he heaves and coughs. Beads of sweat drip down his forehead. Bigb reaches out a hand to etho while he hides the one with the feather behind his back. “Um, you okay dude?” “Yeah…” Etho wheezes out. “I’m fine… Just… lost the… time…” Bigb looks down and notices a jar of cookies in etho’s arms. He points at it. “You didn’t have to bring anything, you know. I already got everything right here.” He gives the basket a light tap. Etho takes a few seconds to respond. Once his breathing levels out, he speaks, “Oh, this is a gift for you! I’ve been getting a lot better at baking, so I thought to myself: ‘hey, why not get my teacher a gift for helping me get off cake mix?’ And here it is!” He shakes the jar with glee. The cookies are a bit misshapen and bigb can definitely see some charred spots on them, but the thought put into such a gift is enough to melt his heart. Etho hands the jar to Bigb once he sits down. He makes sure to drop the feather behind him before he grabs it. Now that it’s closer, he sees that there’s a small string wrapped around the top of the jar with a small card attached to the end of it. He flips the card over and feels his face grow hot when he reads the words “To my Bigb -Etho” written in etho’s messy handwriting.

IM GOING INSANE OH MY GODD RAAAGJDEHCJHECHJEHCJDBDBDB THIS MADE ME GIGGLE AND STIM AND KICK MY FEET OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD