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bonjour-rainycity · 3 years

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Double Heart | Chapter Sixteen ~ Cosima

|previous part|

Pairing: Haldir x OFC

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 3021

Warnings: None

A/n Every chapter, you all make me smile so much <3 Thank you!

Haldir leaves and I let out something halfway between an exhale and a groan.

What. Was. That.

My room, which is a very respectable size, felt like a matchbox as the space between Haldir and I minimized. He went from weeks of keeping a consistent physical barrier between us to ghosting his hands over my arms, my hips, my waist…It’s…new.

And when he held me close, his chest so nearly brushing against my back—

I shake my head against the onslaught of scenarios that run through my mind.

I should not be thinking of him this way.

Haldir is a friend, a guide, an instructor, nothing more.

I let out a deep breath and begin to pace, trying to work off this newfound energy. Haldir and I trained for nearly two hours, I should be exhausted. Instead, I feel wide awake, invigorated, jittery, like I couldn’t possibly go to sleep. I groan, taking my hair out of its bun and letting it fall around me. I stop in my tracks, glancing at the spot where Haldir and I stood so close together just moments ago.

I cannot stay here.

I tear through the open door, turning right and taking the staircase that leads to the first floor. I turn left and, before I know it, I’m standing in front of Alex’s closed door.

I knock.

The door creaks open. “Hey,” he greets, opening it wider to allow me in. “What’s up?”

“I uh,” I purse my lips, having not really thought through my plan. I do need a distraction though, and being out of my room is already helping clear the fog from my brain. My eyes catch a pile of books on his nightstand. “I came to help you research, if that’s okay.”

His face lights up. “Yeah! Yeah, of course. I’ve read those three so far,” he gestures to a small stack by the window, “and there’s nothing helpful in them. Everything else in English is fair game. Is there anything specific you want to look into?”

“Fæs.” I’m surprised that the answer comes to me so easily, but as soon I speak the word, I know it’s true — I do want to learn more.

Alex nods slowly. “Yeah, okay, I think I’ve got a couple books on that here. Let me….” He trails off, spinning in a circle as he searches for a specific volume. “Ah.” He squats down and grabs a book near the foot of his bed, reaching it up to me.

An image of Haldir, crouched on the ground, hand warm against my ankle, staring up at me with such intensity, so much confidence—

Alex stands and I look to the ceiling, trying to will away the image and the feelings that come rushing along with it.

“What makes you want to learn about fæs? Isn’t that an elf thing?”

I purse my lips, stalling until the embarrassment fades enough to look Alex in the eye. “Haldir mentioned that humans have their own version of a fæ — a little weaker, a little different, but generally the same concept.” An idea begins to take form, and I roll with it. “I was wondering if—assuming that our fæs remained unchanged between our homeworld and Arda—well, if we could use it somehow, tap into it and reclaim our memories. If anything were to remember, wouldn’t it be our spirits?”

Alex nods slowly, a grin tugging at the edges of his lips. “That’s actually not a bad idea. Great thinking! Let me know if you find anything.”

He settles into the couch, leaving the bed for me. Gratefully, I cozy up against the pillows. I open the book, skimming the introductory chapter, which is basically just a summary of the core concepts Haldir has already explained to me. When I’m on chapter three, the sky passes firmly into night, and even the plethora of candles Alex has lit aren’t enough to keep my eyes from straining.

I pull my knees to my chest and lean forward, glancing over at my friend. His cheeks — which had been gaunt when we first reunited, now take a healthy shape. His shoulders no longer hold vestiges of tension — they lean relaxed, leisurely, against the back of the couch. Even in the limited light, he squints his eyes and continues to read, seeming intent on soaking up as much knowledge as he can.

I rest my chin on my knees. “I need to ask you something.”

He looks up, his eyebrows drawing together in concern. “Okay?”

“Are you alright?”

He sighs, shifting in his seat. “Cosima…”

“No,” I protest. I don’t care if it’s uncomfortable, he needs to talk about things. He’s been bottling it up since he arrived in this world and it hasn’t done anyone any good. “I mean it.”

Alex groans, shaking his head. “Fine, okay. It’s…strange.” He pauses, but I wait, holding out hope that he’ll continue. He does so, slowly. “I’ve…gotten myself to accept that I’m in a different world, but I can’t wrap my mind around the how. That’s stressful. We don’t have a solid plan to return home, nor do we know if we’ll find one. That’s depressing. And, I have flashes and snippets of memories, but otherwise, I feel like I don’t know who I am.”

My heart breaks. Here my friend is, hurting, lost…

And I’ve left him completely alone.

Alex tilts his head to the side, contemplating. “But I do feel better than when we arrived, or even just from a few days ago. Having things to do, feeling useful and like I have agency for the first time…it’s really good for me. And, well,” he dips his head then raises it again, leveling his eyes on me. “It’s helped me realize something else — that I owe you an apology.”

I blink in surprise. I’ve been the one that has pretty much abandoned and ignored him. I should be apologizing.

“On the road, I said some pretty mean things, and I isolated you from your friends and tried to take control. I didn’t mean for it to be like that. I was…” he sighs, shaking his head, “scared out of my mind. I already felt like I couldn’t do anything to fix the problem, and then on top of that I felt like you had completely given up and it was my job to save us both. And I know now that’s not the case, but for a while…” He trails off, shrugging his shoulders. “You’re just more adaptable than I am, I guess.”

I push myself off the bed, cross the room, and sit next to him on the small couch. Automatically, he throws an arm over my shoulder, the movement so familiar and easy that he must have done it a thousand times before. I lay my head on his shoulder, the bone there pressing against my ear.

I take a deep breath. “If we had really been kidnapped, or injured, or anything more realistic than what actually happened,” he gives a small, tired laugh, the movement shaking his shoulder, “you would’ve been the one to get us out. I know it. Even now, you’re the one putting in all the hard work to get us home. I’m sorry I’ve pretty much left you to handle it alone.”

He squeezes my upper arm gently. “I appreciate it, but I don’t blame you. I get it.” He shrugs again, a measure of sadness creeping into his voice. “It’s not like you remember anyone enough to miss them. If you have people you like here, of course you’d focus on them.”

I feel my lips pull into a guilty frown. “They like you too, you know. You all just need to spend some more time together—”

“Nah,” he shakes his head, pushing a smile onto his face. “It’s okay, honestly — we just don’t click. But I have you, and Baranor and I get along well, and I have this project to work on. It’s enough for me.”

I sigh, resting my head against his chest. I hope that’s true.

{***}

At breakfast, Lavandil and I make plans to meet at her shop. She gives me directions and I hurry up the stairs to my room, changing out of my tunic and leggings and into something a little more fun for my first day of work. I settle on a dark purple gown, one that billows down my arm in puffy gossamer sleeves and has a slight, sparkly train. I’m probably a bit overdressed, but knowing Lavandil’s extravagant wardrobe, I’ll fit in just fine. I bound down the staircase, eager to discover the market and the shop. I turn left, intent on exiting the building.

And crash into the middle of someone’s chest.

Hands grip my upper arms, steadying me as I stumble back. Once I’m righted, I look up, and my mouth falls open.

“Cosima—”

“Haldir—”

Both of us freeze, having spoken at the same time. I purse my lips, waiting for him to go first. He raises an eyebrow, evidently expecting the same of me.

But I can’t make the words happen. His hands on my arms send my mind right back to the tension of last night, to the room that started light and open and turned more intimate than it should as the night went on.

Haldir’s arms fall to his sides. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you turning the corner. Are you alright?”

I nod, my eyes darting from his chest clothed in a cobalt blue tunic up to his eyes. The intensity from last night is gone, now replaced with a noticeable degree of hesitance.

Interesting.

Did he feel something last night, too? Or does he know I did, and now feels awkward around me?

That last thought sends a wave of stress through me. Was I horribly obvious? Have I messed everything up?

“Are you off to Lavandil’s shop,” he inquires, pulling my mind away from these anxiety-inducing thoughts.

“Yes.”

He quirks a smile. “Then I imagine you will be seeing a lot of my brother today. He has a tendency to hang around there.”

“Probably a result of him being in love with the shop-owner,” I quip, voice going high with nerves.

He raises an eyebrow. “Yes, I suppose that would do it.”

We fall into awkward silence.

Haldir clears his throat. “Well, enjoy your day.”

“You too,” I nod, crossing paths with him to exit the building.

Once outside, I take in a gulping breath.

Did I create all that weirdness? Or is he struggling to figure out how to act around me, too? And why?

Things have never been strained or awkward between myself and Haldir. Once he got over his initial suspicion of me, we got along easily. I feel like he understands me better than the others and, if I had to pick a favorite, as Rumil prompted me not so long ago, it would be, without question, the supposedly-stern Marchwarden leading our company. And, based on the amount of time he spends with me of his own accord, I would say he enjoys my presence, too.

So, that begs the question, what could have happened to turn all that ease on its head and replace it with stilted, awkward, unsure interactions? We were fine until last night—

I suck in a breath.

My brain, apparently useless until I looked the issue straight in the eye, starts piecing together instances of my time with Haldir, forming a terrifying and exhilarating picture.

Sleeping between me and the entrance to our camp so I wouldn’t be frightened. Spending hours alone with me lying on a blanket staring up at the stars. The way he panicked and looked after me when I had my migraine. Big things like that and smaller ones, too — the way he teases me, the way he always makes sure I’m cared for, whether that means sharing from his canteen or sending me with food when I’m likely to miss dinner. The way he’s conscious of my fears—heights, orcs, you name it—and provides support without coddling me, enabling me to handle and face them on my own. The way his arms, so gentle yet so secure, held me close, even for just the smallest of moments.

Could we…have feelings for each other?

Could this rapid and strong attachment to an ellon I met mere weeks ago be something other than friendship?

With a sinking feeling in my gut, the momentary rush of excitement falls into something much more sinister. Something that, in any other world would be a wonderful, thrilling feeling—the one I am developing feelings for maybe, potentially, might see me the same way—is here, horrifying.

Because elves live forever and love only once.

And a human lifespan is dismally short.

Rumil’s face after our conversation yesterday, crestfallen and saddened, comes to my mind.

If my mere friendship with these ellyn will cause them grief when I’m gone, then even entertaining these thoughts about Haldir….

It’s deplorable.

From the heart of the city, the bell chimes. I’m late to meet Lavandil.

I shove down the ache that makes my lips quiver and hurry down the path that will lead me to the market.

The distraction of working with Lavandil will be my lifeline.

I cannot allow my feelings for Haldir progress any further. So, though I’m not sure how effective I’ll be, I swear not to think about him for the rest of the day.

{***}

“What happened last night between you and Haldir?”

Damn.

I made it two hours.

I swallow, trying to seem busy as I hang a tapestry on a display. “What?”

Lavandil comes up beside me, using her height to hang the art properly. “Rumil told Orophin who told me that Haldir came back from training with you and seemed quite flustered.”

My body runs hot. “Did he?”

“Mhm,” she nods decisively. “Apparently he returned to the room in a rush, wouldn’t say a thing, and then spent over three hours at the training grounds, sparring quite harshly with some of the guard.”

Even though the tapestry is hung, I pretend to fuss with it, not brave enough to meet Lavandil’s eyes. “Nothing happened. Maybe he just wanted a better workout — I can’t imagine I was much of a challenge.” I try for a joke, and mercifully, she gives me a pity laugh.

Her demeanor softens. “Cosima, you know there’s nothing wrong with having an attraction, or even feelings.”

“Of course there’s something wrong with it,” I shriek, much louder than I meant to. I look at her with wide eyes, surprised by my outburst.

Thankfully, no one is in the shop, and Lavandil only regards me with calm eyes, no judgement in them.

“I’m sorry,” I hurry to apologize, sitting myself in a chair at a nearby table. On top of it sits a beautiful garnet tablecloth — Lavandil’s work. She sits across from me.

“It’s alright,” she smiles kindly, resting her elbows on the table to mirror me. “I had a similar disposition when I realized I loved Orophin.”

“I don’t love him,” I correct quickly.

She puts her hands up in the sign for surrender, though her bottom lip pulls like she’s trying not to make a face.

“I don’t,” I insist, putting effort into keeping my tone non-angry. I lower my voice, worried, perhaps irrationally, that Haldir himself will go waltzing by and hear my dreadful confession. “It’s, at most, an interest, and probably not even that. Likely more of a curiosity.”

“Well, interests are nothing to be ashamed of.” Her tone matches my low volume and carries in it a gentleness I could never hope to emulate.

“Yes, they do!” My voice drops to nearly a whisper. “Lavandil, he is an elf. You know I’m human. The two don’t mix well.”

She huffs. “There’s nothing to say that. An elleth here, Arwen—”

“Is walking into a tragedy,” I cut her off.

Lavandil’s eyes narrow. “Too many people see it that way, and it is getting quite old. Do you know what I see? Two souls in love. Though their futures are bleak and incompatible, their presents are filled with joy and love and the connection that can only come from two fæs who want each other so badly finally bonded. They would still face pain if they ignored their love for each other — so why not give themselves what joy they can?”

“But she will die—”

Now it’s Lavandil’s turn to interrupt. “Arwen is fully grown. She is wise, and I trust that she knows herself well enough to make the choices she has. Her life is ultimately her own. She can spend it how she pleases.”

I press my lips together, head falling to stare at the deep red tablecloth. Despite Lavandil’s conviction, her words do nothing to allay my fears.

The only thing that awaits an elf bonded with a human is grief and death.

Arwen may have made her choice, but so have I made mine.

“Rumil said elves can take centuries to fall in love. Is that true?”

Lavandil pauses, caught off guard with my change in topic. “I-in some cases, yes. More that it could potentially take that long for an elf to admit they are in love. Often, even if they are not ready to accept it, their fæs know. And even then, that is the timeline in the most rare of cases. You know, for Orophin and I it only took a matter of—”

I raise my eyes to her, pleading. “Lavandil.”

She sighs, staring at me like she wishes I had asked her something else. “Fine, yes. Elves fall slower than humans.”

I take in a deep breath, nodding.

Good.

Because if I have only just noticed these feelings, chances are, if Haldir were to follow suit, he is way behind. The instance Lavandil described from last night, the other hints that show he might be feeling something…I can end them now.

I have time to stop this.

I have time to save him.

A/n So, funny thing, @errruvande got pretty close to guessing Cosima’s reaction to realizing her feelings for Haldir, so shout out to Liza!!! Seriously though, love her, love her blog, I’d definitely recommend checking her account out! Thank you all for reading!

|next part|

|masterlist|

Tolkien tag list: @anangelwhodidntfall @eru-vande

Haldir tag list: @tolkien-apologist

Double Heart tag list: @lainphotography @themerriweathermage @thophil2941btw @kenobiguacamole @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse @from-patroclus-with-love @boywivlove @ordinarymom1 @my-darling-haldir @sweet-bea-blossom @moony-artnstuff

#haldir #haldir x ofc #haldir x oc #haldir fanfic #haldir fanfiction

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mylifeisactuallyamess · 3 years

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Serial Killer!Armitage Hux x Blood Spatter Analyst F Reader/DCI!Ben Solo x BSA!Fem Reader

A/N: THIS IS A DARKFIC. This is a only prelude for the whole fic which I am still working on. Exploring Hux’s potential darker side is something that’s been on my mind for a really long time and then I watched Hannibal and my serial killer enjoyment kicked up again 🤣 just the picture for this weeks Writer Wednesday prompted this little snippet. Also RC does enjoy her job probably as much as Dexter 🤣The first half is from Hux’s pov and the second is from RC’s. DO NOT READ if you are sensitive to anything remotely dubious. 18+ Minors DNI. @autumnleaves1991-blog @clydesducktape

Warnings: description of taking life, stalker Hux, dark thoughts, he’s a strangler so be warned. Mention of food, moving between jobs, description of blood. Set in London but I am using artistic licence in this fic so not 100% accurate with locations, but I have done my research into BSA and the job they do. (My google search is not something that the police should look at right now 🤣)

Word Count: 1541

Read the Prelude here on AO3.

These places were perfect, it was dark, the lighting wasn’t great and he could hug the shadows as he watched people go about their unsuspecting lives. It had been a few weeks since he’d felt the strain of his garrotte and his hands itched, his mind cried out for that relief he felt when the life left their body.

The heaviness of their form was always a comfort and he wondered often if his father felt the same way after he’d killed his wife. It played in Hux’s mind every time he took a life, he felt like he was in his fathers shoes. The only time he was good enough to step up to his fathers legacy. Killing was a habit now, he craved the rush it gave him that they couldn’t over power him or take anything from him, unlike everyone else in his life. He was taking the most precious thing from them and it gave him such a heady feeling.

He looked up when a few people arrived at the temporary diner, the soft light highlighted you as you stepped up to deliver your order and he was instantly captivated. The way you moved was enchanting, life seemed to blossom from you, alighting everything around you and he couldn’t look away. You looked up at the man you were with, your beautiful face breaking out into a smile and your laugh reached Hux’s ears making his fists clench in desperation. The garrotte was in his pocket ready and waiting to wrap around the column of your beautiful neck but when Hux finally paid attention to the man behind you he withdrew around the tree.

DCI Ben Solo…the copper who had suspicions about Hux but had no proof. Oh, Hux knew about the board of supposed facts the DCI had in his office, like a shrine to Hux’s misdeeds and he smirked into the darkness. Taking one right from under the nose of the DCI was so appealing, a game with high stakes and strict rules, a game Hux wanted to play.

He peered around the trunk of the tree, watching you with a renewed intensity, the desire burned through his blood like a fire that only one action could douse. His eyelids flickered as he imagined the way your throat would constrict, the way you’d fight, he could see you had spirit. You’d be a challenge. His gaze fixated on the column of your throat and he rested heavily against the tree, the longer he watched you the more he wanted….no. He needed you. He needed to feel your soft skin, he needed to hear you struggle, he needed to pull you close to his chest as he choked you. To smell your hair, to feel your warmth, to know that he was in that moment, the most powerful being in your life.

Your gaze swept over his hiding place and he moved, now was not the time. He needed to be patient, it would come down to a particular moment and only when that moment was upon him, would he know how perfect it was.

“What do you fancy? My treat.” You turned to Ben, his cinnamon eyes roaming over the menu over the top of your head because he stood so much taller than anyone else.

“I think you’re doing enough for me, this is my treat,” you exclaimed firmly.

“But I called you here…”

“So? This is on me.” He shrugged, a smile pulling on the corner of his mouth and you swatted his arm, a small laugh bursting forth as you tried not to notice the dimples that appeared in his cheeks. The soft light of the mobile diner gave them a sense of life which he snuffed out as he ran a hand over his stubble.

“Nah, come on. I’m starving,” he moaned and you rolled your eyes.

“Ok ok,” you peered at the menu asking for a basket of loaded fries and Ben ordered the same. You both sat down on the red stools which were much more comfortable than they looked. You turned your seat round, lifting your face up to the dark sky and letting a gentle breeze flow over you. The quiet trickle of conversation filled the air around you and people sat at the tables dotted around enjoying their food, some music played in the background and if you closed your eyes you could easily imagine you were across the pond sat in a real diner. The smell of the coffee, the sizzle of the fries, it all coagulated together into a comforting sensation in the middle of your chest and you let out a little sigh. Ben nudged your arm alerting you to food so you turned and grabbed the Tabasco bottle off the little sauce shelf.

“Tabasco. Really?” You smiled as you dribbled some over the melted cheese.

“Yeah, you don’t like spicy food?” You asked. He wrinkled his face in distaste and you couldn’t stop the giggles.

“Anyway,” he started clearly in an effort to change the subject. “How’s the lab? You think I could persuade you to stay here, permanently?” You shook your head, chewing on a chip and reaching for some napkins before answering.

“I’m a nomad. I like moving around…”

“But you have no home. Doesn’t it get you know, lonely?” You shrugged. You’d never really thought about it, you went where the blood was flowing the most, following the trail of destruction across the country. You didn’t tell many people but you enjoyed the thrill, when you stepped into a new blood soaked crime scene it gave you a sense of awe. None of the patterns were ever the same and it fascinated you how a simple flick of the wrist could produce different results for different killers. Your eyes rose to meet Ben’s and you felt like you wanted to tell him, I wanted to explain the way your job made you feel. As a fellow colleague he might understand but you always kept this part of you locked away. There was a fine line between enjoying your job and enjoying your job.

“No, not lonely, just means I can do what I like or work as long as I like.” Ben licked his fingers, reaching for a napkin he nodded.

“Yeah I get that. My parents are constantly on at me to find someone but I refuse to date a fellow copper and aside from the victims' families I don’t meet anyone else.”

“Oh, that’s not much of a dating pool,” you mumbled and he smirked at your words.

“No, no dating pool. If my mother had her way I’d be all “I’m really sorry your husband died, looking to remarry because my mother wants grandkids!” Yeah, no thanks.” You giggled wiping your greasy hands on another napkin.

“She sounds like she just wants the best for you.”

“The best for me isn’t meeting someone on the worst day of their lives,” he rumbled, suddenly withdrawing into himself and you turned to see him looking down at his food with a vacant expression.

“There’ll be someone. I have to believe there is someone for everyone, otherwise what’s the point of all this.”

“Yeah.” You didn’t like the dip in mood and you looked around trying to see something to distract you both. Some movement caught your eye, over by a tree just outside the pool of light and you squinted, but instantly dismissed it when you saw the railings along the edge of a pond beyond the tree.

“Come on,” you tugged on his arm offering no explanation and dumping your empty basket into the bin provided. You waved and thanked the staff getting a chorus of farewells back and sauntered over to the path.

“Where are we going?” He asked, finally catching up with you. You peered into the darkness, hoping your eyes were playing tricks on you because you swore there had been someone standing next to this tree, but there was no one here.

“I saw a pond, I wanted to see the ducks,” you said without thinking.

“You do know it’s around ten thirty at night the ducks will be sleeping. Like we should be,” he muttered.

“It was your idea to get dinner.” He huffed in resignation, stuffing his hands in his pockets and picking up his pace to follow you to the edge of the lake. You peered into the darkness, something didn’t feel right and your skin prickled. Ben instantly noticed and followed your line of sight.

“What is it?” His tone hushed as though not wanting to disturb you.

“You know, I think I should head back now.” The sense you were being watched was increasing, making your stomach flip uncomfortably with nerves.

“Ok, I’ll walk you back. I left my car at the station anyway. Your hotel is on the way.” You flinched slightly when he pressed his hand against the top of your back steering you back down the path. Finally you turned, telling yourself you were being stupid you were safe here and yet the sense of danger was there, nibbling at your subconscious telling you no matter where you went, you were never completely safe.

#serial killer!hux #DCI!Ben Solo #serial killer au #writer wednesday #an actual darkfic #darkfic #blood spatter analyst! reader #female reader

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hercleverboy · 3 years

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CONGRATULATIONS MY LOVE, you deserve this so so much that i cannot even put it into words, although that will not stop me from trying. you are genuinely one of the most talented sweetest people i have ever met, you make me so happy just by messaging me and you’re so supportive and i’m so happy that you’re so successful. i am struggling to think of another person who deserves this more than you, you’re talented, and intelligent and so nice and beautiful and interesting and i’m so so so happy for you and i hope you know that i love you babe💋❤️

NOW SORRY FOR HOW SAPPY THAT WAS but for your celebration can i do🍉💌💓and📒(i’ll let you pick your fav fic of mine cause i would like to hear about dat one from your perspective)

kate’s 1.5k sleepover !! 🥂

holly!! you’re such a sweetheart, I love you very much💞

💓 I’ll give you a compliment!

holly I am about to detail all the ways I love you in your lil’ love letter, however I’ll take this opportunity to remind you what a fantastic writer you are! your ability to encompass spencer’s character always blows me away <3

🍉 I’ll choose one of my wip’s and post a little snippet!

this comes from my wip ‘comatose’, which I only started working on a day or two ago, enjoy!

He gulped, tried to slow the shaking of his hands as he entered the room, pushing the door closed behind him.

When his eyes landed on her, laying in the hospital bed, machines hooked up to her and numerous coloured wires spiralling from her arms, he had to take a moment. He felt his breath catch in his throat, his eyes begin to water at the mere sight of her. It was as though the world had stopped turning, if only for a moment, as he watched her chest move up and down ever so slightly. He felt frozen, unable to move forward. His brain raced with medical facts and statistical probabilities (none of which he liked the sound of.)

Spencer had never felt so helpless.

As if everything had suddenly locked into place, he felt himself moving toward her, his feet seemingly moving on their own accord and he felt himself struggling to catch up with the movements of his own body. All he knew was that he had to get to her, he had to feel her.

He grasped her hand in as tight of a hold as he could, whimpering at how cold her hands felt. His only comfort was that of the heart monitor by her bedside, beeping steadily. He sat down in the chair that was placed beside the bed, holding her hand in both of his and resting his head on her stomach, desperately trying to calm down his erratic breathing. He whispered to himself, reminded himself that she was alive, forced himself to count the beats of her heart as he heard them on the monitor, clutching onto her hand in such a vice-like grip that he was sure she would have winced if she was awake.

After a few moments, having calmed himself down as much as he could in that situation, he looked up at her, watched the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, finding comfort in the slight flush of her cheeks, clinging to any and every sign of life from her— because if Spencer didn’t focus on those then he’d have to admit how petrified he was that she looked so lifeless. Void of all warmth and solace that he usually found within the woman he loved.

Spencer had never felt so helpless.

📒send me a fic of yours and I’ll write a review

since you asked me to choose, I’ve gone for ‘Dancing With Our Hands Tied’ , because you know how much I love a good angst fic (which this certainly is!)

Right out of the gate, Holly hits us right in the heart with the ‘Spencer Reid hated funerals’. I mean, it just immediately sets the tone for this piece, puts this pit in our guts because as a reader we know that this is gonna hurt to read, in the best way possible. It’s that slightly sinking feeling you get with angst where you know it isn’t going to end well for Spencer, but yet it’s already captured you and pulled you in— there’s no way you’re going to stop now. I always find with Holly that she manages to do that so well in all of her pieces. I’m always immediately immersed into the world she creates, always hooked on every word.

And then we have “No matter how many philosophers described love in the most beautiful, enchanting way, Spencer didn’t want it anymore.” That’s such a beautiful sentence, and perfectly encapsulates the way that Spencer feels. He’s watching Hotch lose his wife, and he’s thinking ‘god please, don’t ever let me have to feel a pain like that.’ It’s very life like, so much so that it almost hurts. When you watch those you love, your friends, suffer through such unfathomable pain, and you watch how much it breaks them, you do find yourself hoping that it’ll never happen to you— that you’ll never have to suffer the same fate.

Which ultimately is why this piece is so well written, why it flows so easily and it’s because swearing off of love after watching his friend suffer as a consequence is such a Spencer thing to do. He’s managed to convince himself that in order to protect himself, save himself the hurt, the answer is simply to never fall in love. But of course, in a very Spencer-like fashion, he forgets that we never fall in love on purpose. Love is not so black and white, it is complex in its intricacies and is never so simple. He forgets that we often end up falling when we’re not even searching for love, and is that not just the perfect way for Spencer Reid to find the love of his life? When he really isn’t looking for them?

And then, as all tales of love go, he falls hard and fast for someone when he was least expecting to. (side note: the use of ‘a truly impossible task’ is so good here, mostly because again, holly manages to completely encompass the essence of Spencer’s character. Spencer has never thought he was good enough, a fact we all know. As far as he is concerned, everyone leaves eventually. no one is permanent, no one stays for as long as they say they will. an impossible task indeed.)

I love that his and the readers first date is so spontaneous, a little out of character for him but perfectly so: because it makes so much sense for him to get distracted by a person who manages to enamour him entirely, until suddenly they’ve been talking for hours and he’s thinking of how he nearly missed out on this, how he nearly swore off of love entirely. (the scene of Spencer freaking out over whether the previous night was in fact a date, and what kind of flowers would be appropriate for him to give her— again, so entirely Spencer and so so adorable.)

Spencer deciding that the only logical way to keep the reader safe is to keep them a secret for a while is so incredibly him, because we saw him do that in canon with Maeve. Albeit, she did have a stalker, but Spencer deciding to hide her from the team for so long was for more personal reasons too, because truly he wanted to keep her to himself for a little while longer (which he covered with the whole ‘I wanted to protect her’ thing). but how cute of him to bring the reader flowers too!!! we love the domesticity of it all (especially with him calling them ‘flower’) and then Spencer refuses to let them meet the team, for a lot longer than they thought this relationship was going to be kept a secret. and then he becomes paranoid, of course, because he’s pouring so much into this idea of keeping his partner safe, preventing them from ending up like Haley that he actually manages to jeopardise the entire relationship. (good one, Spence.)

and then the final heart wrenching moment, where all of Spencer’s paranoia and insecurities mount up and he looses the love of his life and his child. it’s ironic, really. that he was so afraid of losing them that he thought he would protect them, but it was those actions that lead to losing them anyway. I really like the theme of flowers throughout this piece, and the symbolism that accompanies them.

the final part being ‘daffodils and daisies. the flowers of new beginnings’ really leaves this fic on a high note; despite all the angsty goodness involved. i love open-ended fics, ones that leave the slightest bit of room for the reader to imagine that things went a different way— perhaps the reader and Spencer meet again someday, and he gets to be a father to his child, or perhaps the reader starts their new beginning and gets to live the life they’d always wanted to, even without Spencer by their side. I love an indefinite ending; because it leaves space for the audience to create their own ending it a way, we get to decide just how sad this can be, or whether it is in a fact a happy ending.

(I cannot recommend holly’s other works enough, I would highly suggest you make your way through her brilliant masterlist)

💌 I’ll handwrite you a lil’ personal love letter!

#kate’s sleepover🥂#holly🦑#that’s my wife!

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cosmiclatte28 · 4 years

Text

Lie to Me (Jaemin x you)

Angst.. I am still learning to write angst that can really make you cry, but I can’t

Warning : cheating is not a good thing.

Enjoy!

When people say first love won't last long, you often question them. Why? Because apparently you see some people sticking to the end with their first love, and up to this day you believe your love story will end the same way or maybe even better. That was what you have in your mind living with two children under a comfortable roof with your first and last love, Na Jaemin. Today however, you start to question if there will be a happily ever after for you and Jaemin or at least for you. With what Jaemin have, there's no way he cannot get his happiness. Look at the amazing group of friends he worked with, look at the swooning number of fans! All of those fans out there are willing to die and kill for him. His income is flowing in regularly, he doesn't need to worry about heart breaks, it's either he broke heart, or he got broken and find another one. There are many fish in the sea and apparently this will work for Na Jaemin. It's been two years of hiding from public media and fans. Two years of holding on to the pain of not being able to tell anyone that you are dating the idol Na Jaemin. Eight seasons of sneaking Jaemin into your room or sneaking into the dorm. The members knew about you, but they are a good brother and they keep their mouth shut. Everything was worth the hustle the pain and the love, not until you got home from your tiring nine to five work and got greeted by a trending news. You take the bus ride home, wishing that Jaemin is now here beside you, holding your hand through the orange candied sky. You cannot lie that autumn looks good at some point and you actually want to be able to walk home with Jaemin while sipping on hot pumpkin spice latte. On your seat by the window, you open your phone and curiously click on the website that appears on the first Tweet you see. Right at that moment your eyes shake and your lips tremble. The loud voice of the busy road and bus engine were gone replaced by a long deafening silence. Your finger froze midway to the news and you lock your phone. There in the media, was a picture of Jaemin and a secret girl, along with screen shots of their chats and selfies. Luckily there was no bad news coming with it, the girl did not accuse Jaemin for anything bad, but the media was clearly stating "Na Jaemin, fan service king turns out to be dating a fan for three months."

Three months?! That's also how long Jaemin has been dumbly smiling to his phone at night, the time he woke up earlier than you did which confused you before, but now made sense. You try to remember all the odds he did in the past three months, you knew that style of chatting was Jaemin's and that is enough to convince you that your boyfriend might be cheating on you for three months without you realizing it. Stupid? Kind of. You got home after the long ride and with big stride you take the lift to your apartment, wishing with all your heart you have something to eat since you don't feel like going out. Right when you enter the house, the least expected man you want to see right now is already lounged over your sofa. There sprawled on your couch, is Na Jaemin in his sweet innocent sleeping face. You want to choke and strangle him with the pillow right now, but how can you when you see that fragile kid face. For a second you feel like you're the most evil person in the world, trusting rumors rather than asking your boyfriend about the truth. Looking at his sleeping baby face, you can't imagine Na Jaemin actually cheating behind you, but that's the point right? If he knew you won't slightly think or believe he is cheating, one might as well use the benefit right? Your mind is playing with "what ifs" and finally you choose to wake up the problematic person in your life right now. Jaemin squirms when you toss him a pillow to wake him up. "Hey my baby is home." He yawns and gives you that sweet smile while still having his eyes closed. He stretches and you cannot decipher if he is acting cute so you won't be mad as he explains the rumor or does this child did not know the news has spread. Your face was sour and he quickly catches on that you're not in a good mood and it's his goal to always bring back smile on your face. "What's with that evil with face?" You sigh, and sit down beside him. You hold his shoulder to face you and stare into his eyes deeply. "Please look at me," you whisper hopelessly Jaemin still has his confused face on. "Tell me what is going on Nana." Jaemin glances down to your phone, he clearly knows what you are talking about. Hell he already received a lecture from Taeil, Johnny, and Taeyong not to mention Jeno and Haechan. "You know I'm not like that right?" Jaemin swallows a lump on his throat, gosh the audacity he has to lie on your face. Your pupil trembles as they search the truth Jaemin nicely hide behind hid Idol eyes. You shake your head, "How can I trust you when I cannot read through you." "She's just a friend," Jaemin squeaks. "Is she really just a friend?" your voice cracks, Jaemin saw the news he saw the chat and oh it doesn't wonder if you think that snippet of chat is more than friendly. Jaemin cannot answer your question, he wants to fight back but he messed up. He cannot lie anymore to you, or can he? "I am sorry, I was not in my right mind." he reaches out to hold your hands, but you quickly hide them. "What do you mean by that?" your chest is raising up and down faster. Jaemin closed his eyes, "Some of them are true." Your heart shatters and you cannot think of anything else. Did he just shamelessly confess that he indeed was cheating? "You're lying!" you try to deny the fact, but Jaemin shakes his head. "I am not lying. I am sorry you had to discover it." Your eyes shot open, did he not expect you to know at all?! How belittling was that. He shifts closer to you, and you flinch "Stop Jaemin, give me some spa-" "Don't give me space, that's the least thing I want with you." His puppy eyes made a big impact here. "I know I shouldn't be here," you let out a huff Jaemin gets flustered, "What do you mean by that, I can explain we broke up already. I told her I was with you." "You deserve more," you whisper and tears finally fall down your face. "I'm scared." you stare in horror to Jaemin, this sweet angel has been lying on your face for god knows how long. Were you some kind of toy for him?! "I'm sorry. I swear I'll do things different this time, believe me..." He pleads to you. "I want to believe you, I do, but you're just going to hurt me again Jaemin," You shake your head when he pleads you with his eternal sweet angelic face. "Do you ever mean anything you say?" you ask him. Flashes of videos you see on the internet haunts you, Jaemin can easily say "I love you" to his fans and be called a fan service, but have you ever think if the one he gave to you were not a part of fan service too? Did he really mean it when he whispers "love" to your ears. Jaemin stays quiet, "I mean it," he whispers after a while. "You won't understand. Was I just another fan service thing to you? Did you see me also as one of those girls who will swoon over you when you do that?" you're hurt by the fact that this sentence was true. Look at you, not even realizing if he is cheating on you because you are blinded by his sweet nothings. "Can I hug you?" he asks slowly when you just stay quiet and out of your mind. You shake your head, "I need to go. See you Jaemin." You grab your bag and coat and rush to leave him. You need to clear your mind first, maybe a talk with the other members may help you keep your mind straight. The young boy crashes to the sofa, his eyes can no longer hold back his tears. In silence he sobs by himself, he knows he did something so wrong and it's his own fault this happens. "Am I too late?" Was all he asked when he think of the times he kept all of this a secret, it started as a harmless joke with a fan he find interesting in the fansign. Then the joke turns into small talks, to midnight calls, and to secret meetings. Jaemin did not mention he is dating you; it'll blow up your two years of hiding with him. But then one night he went over the border, teasing the fans and their chat was no longer on the side of friendship. It goes beyond and when Jaemin explains he needs to stop this thing, the girl blew up all of the secrets. Making distorted rumors here and there, You apparently was one of the victims of the media and Jaemin hates himself more with the fact that you did not even give him a chance to explain. Two hours later he got a voice message from Jeno. "Jaemin, she's here with us. (y/n) is alright, just meet her when you are ready and she is too. I think tomorrow she can see you." That was all Jeno left to him and that night Jaemin spends the night on your bed, realizing it was cold and lonely without you.

want a next part?

end or continue?

#jaemin imagines #jaemin x y/n #jaemin x you #jaemin x reader #jeno imagines #jeno x reader #jaemin oneshot #jaemin scenarios #jaemin fanfic #jaemin #na jaemin #nct jaemin #nct oneshot #nct imagines #nct dream #nct dream imagines #jeno scenarios

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harrysgoldrush · 4 years

Text

and they were roommates {h.s.} v

a/n: this is my favorite ones so far! i’m planning on starting a tags list for this series of unorganized blurbs! comment below if you want to be included on the list :)

masterlist

“can i stay?” you mumbled, burying your face into his neck as he pulled you close. you had come home, stressed beyond belief from your latest meeting with your editor.

you had been confident with your latest work, so much so you hadn’t even shown harry. your editor had returned it covered in red pen, telling you it wasn’t your best work.

that it lacked originality.

that it was any hallmark movie showing around february 14th.

okay, that one was an exaggeration.

harry was in your room, digging through your closet and looking for the red bandana he had asked to borrow.

hearing you slam the door, he was quick to stand up, ready to investigate the cause of your sudden wave of emotions.

wordlessly you had thrown yourself onto your bed, face down on your pillow. harry quietly climbed onto your unmade bed, laying down beside you as he rubbed your back.

“i’m here when you’re ready.”

he listened patiently as you ranted, confessing how difficult it had been as of late, especially with how connected you felt to the outside world. it was always difficult to break away and you relied on your electronics to write.

he had left quickly at that mention, coming back with a gentle smile before he presented a small leather journal.

“i like to use a journal. like to keep it old school. makes me look cool too.”

you had laughed at that, taking the journal from him with a gracious smile. setting it down on your nightstand, you made grabby hands at the taller man who easily crawled back into bed and wrapped his arms around you, holding you close.

“is that your way of telling me you’re not moving anytime soon?”

“maybe,” you mumbled, humming lightly as he ran his fingernails up and down your back. “it’s your fault really, you’re an irresistible cuddler.”

“am i?”

“don’t get a big head. i’ll take it back.”

the two of you lay in silence for a while, just listening to the other one breathing. it was funny how easily harry could relax you, even on your worst days he could make you smile.

“y’know how i feel right now?” you piped up, earning a sleepy groan from harry.

“like ray lamontagne’s song. it always makes me think of you. because you’ve become such a big part of my life and i can’t remember life before i met my best friend.”

“are you a novelist?” he murmured softly, lifting an arm up so he could reach your hair. “you’re sounding very poetic right now.”

“i’m being nice, harry. you could try it.”

“i’m here, aren’t i?” he laughed before taking a deep breath. “i don’t know what i’d do without you. think i’d be insanely homesick. you made this apartment feel like home. i’d stay like this forever if i could. and don’t worry about what irene said; you’re a phenomenal writer and i’m sure she’s just trying to push you because of how highly she thinks of you. it’s stressful, yeah, but think of how amazing you’ll feel once it’s published and flying off of the shelves.”

“and what if she’s right? what if i’m no better than one of those cheesy hallmark movies?”

“then i’ll buy every copy and read them all. but it won’t.”

“i’d do the same, y’know?” you peeked you at him, smiling back at him when he caught your gaze. “i can tell you’re nervous about releasing new music but you’re talented harry. it’s clear just by seeing the books your read and the music you listen to. you just have to be confident in yourself. be sure of who you are.”

“what would i do without a best friend like you?”

something between you and harry had changed that night. he was much more affectionate now, feeling more comfortable around you. he no longer awkwardly lingered outside of your door, waiting to be invited in. he wasn’t afraid to lean on you during a late-night movie or grab your hand if either of you started to cry during the notebook.

he was always eager to read your work and had even begun sharing snippets of lyrics he had begun writing recently. you had even taken up writing ideas in the journal he had given you, smiling fondly at the first page where he had messily scribbled your name with a pen that was running out of ink.

can i stay became a commonly used phrase between the two of you, whenever you needed company or just a hug. one day when you hadn’t been feeling well, you had gone as far as throwing crumpled pieces of paper at him, hoping to catch his attention so he would bring you some ice cream and cuddles.

he was more confident, he somehow seemed to be smiling even more, and you could tell he was excited about something but he refused to tell you until you came home one day and he was beginning to pack a suitcase.

“so you’re leaving for jamaica?” you asked, sitting on the edge of his bed as he searched through his drawers.

“in a few days, yeah.”

“oh. how long?”

“however long it takes to write an album—”

“an album?” you asked quickly, eyes growing wide. “harry that’s brilliant!”

“yeah, well, it’s thanks to you. you gave me the push i needed to realize that i’m ready. and jeff suggested we fly out there to get away from everything.”

“i’ve always hated jeff, knew he was out to steal you from me.”

harry laughed and turned to face you, giving a sweet smile as he walked to stand in front of you.

“i’ll miss you too. but before you go on hating me for leaving like this, i did something.”

“something bad?”

“i hope not.” unbuttoning his shirt, your eyebrows raised as you watched him take his shirt off.

it wasn’t like this was the first time you had seen harry shirtless. you lived with him and the interest existed. but now you were invited to look, confused by harry who stood expectantly.

“what am i supposed to be looking at?”

harry gave you an incredulous look before gesturing towards his left shoulder which was partially bandaged.

“what the hell? when did you get hurt?”

“i got a tattoo!” he explained, sitting down beside you. “go on, take a look.”

hesitantly, you began to carefully take the bandages off. “i don’t know how i was supposed to realize you got another tattoo, you already have so many.”

“it was bandaged.”

“well you’re a giant, you can’t expect me to immediately notice something on your shoulder. this better not be my face, harry styles or i’ll kill y—”

your voice fell as you stared down at the familiar handwriting now permanently drawn on his skin. feeling your eyes begin to water as your throat begins to tighten, you looked up to see harry watching you closely with kind eyes.

“do you like it?”

“h-how did yo—”

“saved those sticky notes you had thrown at me last month.”

beginning to cry gently, you let harry pull you into a hug, careful to avoid hurting his fairly recent tattoo. “i can’t believe you’d do that.”

“i thought you’d like it.”

“i do. i love it. so much. but you’re a jerk for being so nice to me when i’m already going to miss you when you go away.”

“maybe we can sneak you over without jeff noticing.”

“yeah right. didn’t he say no distractions?”

“you’re right, you’d only cause trouble down there.”

“i could behave.”

humming, harry laughed and said, “i’ll think about it. don’t think we should stress him out until at least the second album.”

“can’t wait.” you smiled, twisting in his arms so you could admire his newest tattoo.

can i stay?

#harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles #harry #styles #harry edward styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles tattoos #harry styles blurb #harry styles blog #harry styles tpwk #tpwk #romance #romance novels #romance movies #roommates #friends to lovers #hs1

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forestwhisper3 · 4 years

Text

Welcome back to the SI/OC series, where I introduce my various brainchildren. This time around, though, we’re gonna do something a little different. Apart from giving you a couple of pics, I’ll also give you snippets that I’ve written out. This is mostly because I have nothing near resembling an actual fic and have literally just written segments.

It’s kinda long, so click the expand to read on.

So...this SI/OC is one that I’ve had in my head for a while. I mentioned her in one of Klonoadreams’s streams and figured I should probably mention her in this SI/OC series too. She is one of two for the Kingdom Hearts fandom, and when the mood strikes, I try to flesh out her story a little more. Maybe one day I’ll have something publishable. For now, here’s Ignis, a fellow student of Master Eraqus, along with Terra, Aqua, and Ventus:

This is her before everything goes to pot, however. The thing with this SI is that, despite her knowledge of the games, and despite all of her efforts to prevent the events of Birth by Sleep, she still fails. Master Xehanort is not a man easily defeated, after all. So, it is a weary, heartbroken Ignis that finds herself on Destiny Islands after she loses everything yet again...

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

'This is...'

I smiled, knowing it was a bit wry in nature. After all, whenever I'd given the thought to being here, I'd never quite pictured it...like this.

"Whoa, you were right! There is another weird person here today!"

I found myself laughing at the comment without meaning to, the reaction startling me and filling me with sorrow all at once. It had felt like ages since I'd laughed so freely...

"Hey...are you okay?"

I looked at the two boys before me, ready to assure them that everything was fine but...the words just didn't want to come out.

"You're crying..."

Fingers touched my cheeks, only to come away wet. How did I not realize...?

I gave a start when I suddenly felt small arms wrap around me, the warmth of the action seeping into the chill that had seemed to settle in me these past days.

"Don't cry," Sora pleaded, his own eyes staring earnestly into my own. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

If my next laugh was mixed with a sob, I didn't think any of us would tell.

"You already have," I told him once I'd calmed down, making sure my smile was gentle.

"Really?"

"Yes. I think a hug was just what I needed. Thank you."

"Oh! I'm glad! I don't like seeing people sad."

I smiled, the warmth continuing to spread as I studied him. I'd thought...it would be strange to see them as children while not being the same age, but...this felt right.

Suddenly, I knew what I had to do.

"My name is Ignis," I began softly, "and I come from somewhere far from these shores."

"I knew it," Riku piped up. "You're from the outside world! Just like-...uhh..."

I chuckled a bit at his attempts to back up, clearly not wanting to break his promise.

"Going by your comment earlier, I'll have to assume you've met Terra or Aqua?"

"Yeah! Miss Aqua was nice!"

"Terra was too," Riku added.

"And he left you with something special," I finished.

"Err...yeah."

"What?! He gave you a present!? No fair!"

"Hey now, don't get upset. What's your name?"

"Sora!"

"Sora..." I put my hand out, smiling at his gasp when my Keyblade appeared. "Terra entrusted your friend with something very special because he must have seen something in him...just like I see it in you."

It wasn't just because I knew what was to come. Riku's light was...amazing- there was no doubt about that. But Sora-...Sora gave off his own light too. A light so warm, and loving, and kind that it chased away the darkness and made me feel safe. I know the games had always made Sora's light out to be something special, but...Being able to feel it, and knowing that both Aqua and Terra had passed him up for one reason or another made me want to cry all over again at the injustice of it all.

Sora would not be the backup plan. Not if I had anything to say about it.

"In your hand, take this key..."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Master!/Master Ignis!"

I groaned, turning over in my cot and doing my best to block out their yells and subsequent pounding at my door.

"Master!"

I yelped when a large weight practically threw itself upon me, sighing at the sound of Sora's giggles and Riku's snickers. Still, it wasn't quite enough to stop the smile that tugged on the edge of my lips.

"Alright, alright, I'm up. What are you two doing here so early anyway?"

Sora propped his chin up on his hands from his position on top of me and grinned. "It's not early. You just slept in!"

"Yeah...I thought adults were supposed to be responsible and stuff."

Riku laughed when I threw a pillow in his direction.

"You're lucky I like you," I said without any real heat.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"This form was a particular favorite of Master Eraqus," I began, smiling slightly when I saw how much Sora and Riku were struggling to remain in position. "Not so much one of ours."

"I-...I can't feel my legs!"

"Don't tell me you-...you can't handle it, Sora!"

"Your legs are shaking too!"

I felt a laugh bubble up. God, those two really were like-

A sharp pang shot through me, and despite my best efforts, it left me feeling desolate all over again.

'I'll see them again. I know I will...but...twelve years is a long time.'

And I would be the only one to actually age.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Kairi, I understand that you don't like fighting like Sora and Riku do. Really. But...Keyblades don't just go to anyone- you have to be chosen. The fact that you have one...will you at least learn the basics? You don't have to use them, but you'll know them. Just in case."

She mulled it over for a while, before nodding.

"Thank you," I sighed out with a relieved smile.

"It...means a lot to you...doesn't it."

Despite my efforts to the contrary, the question made me freeze. By this point, the boys had given up any pretenses of being busy and were watching in unabashed curiosity. With a welling sadness that hadn't really dulled these past years and an ache in my heart, I nodded.

"It does," I confirmed quietly. "But more than that, I just want you three to be safe. To know how to take care of yourselves if-...Anyway, this is the best I can do."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Master Ignis, when-...when is Master Terra coming back?"

The question, sudden and unexpected as it was (though I really should have seen it coming), hit hard. All of a sudden, it felt like there was a vice-like grip around my heart, and I flinched so violently that there was no way I could have hidden the reaction.

And Riku- who was so clever and so observant that I was constantly reminded of Aqua -didn't fail to catch on.

"...He's not coming back. And...Master Aqua isn't either."

There was a deep hurt in his eyes, and hints of betrayal. All three of them were aware of how the relationship between Masters and students worked by now, which meant that they knew that despite the fact I was teaching all of them, only Sora was my true apprentice. The rightful heir of my teachings, so to speak.

"Oh, Riku," I breathed out, feeling that all too familiar twist of my heart, though this time, it was accompanied by the sharp sting of tears. "They-...They can't."

Riku blinked, the hurt look being replaced by a questioning one. A few feet back, Sora and Kairi watched on, too hesitant to get closer, but not enough to leave their friend completely.

I sighed, and if there was a breath of a sob mixed in, well, no one would know but me.

"Come on...I think it's time I told you."

They were young yet, but if I didn't tell them now, I didn't think I'd ever work up the strength to do it.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"...When I finally managed to get back to Radiant Garden, there was no sign of Terra or Aqua- the only hint of their fate being the lingering chill in that courtyard. I-...I can only assume they were dragged into the Realm of Darkness. I spent the next few months searching for a way to get to them, as well as keeping an eye out for Ventus, but..."

"...You didn't find either," Riku finished sadly.

"No. Eventually, I found myself here, on these islands. When I saw you, I-...I knew that I couldn't leave. It would have been the height of negligence and cruelty to move on- to leave you ignorant of the legacy you bear. I knew Terra well enough to say that he had every intention of coming back for you, but since he can't, I will do my best to train you in his stead."

He was silent for a while, mulling it over. Finally, he nodded.

"Thank you for telling me, Master Ignis."

"What about Kairi?" Sora asked, his head tilted. "If Mister Terra chose Riku, and you chose me, who chose Kairi?"

"That would be Aqua," I told them. "Just like I could feel Terra's claim on Riku, I can feel Aqua's on Kairi."

"...I don't remember," Kairi said.

"Perhaps it's one of the things you've forgotten," I told her gently, even though I knew that even if she had remembered her meeting with Aqua, she still wouldn't have known when she was given the power. "But even if the mind forgets, the heart remembers."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The stars were disappearing.

I looked up at the night sky, unease settling in my stomach as I watched another one blink out of existence. It was the third one this week, and while I now knew that some stars actually were just stars in this universe, I also knew that those weren't what was going out.

Xehanort was on the move again.

I'd been wondering about it for a while- mostly since the finer details of the games had slipped from my memory as the years passed -whether or not his plan had some sort of deadline he needed to meet. It seemed I'd gotten my answer. The question now, however, was how were things going to play out.

I was under no delusions that I hadn't derailed things. I had not only trained Sora, Riku, and Kairi, but I had actively done my best to keep them hidden. My unease mostly stemmed from worry over whether it had been enough. If it hadn't, then odds were that Xehanort was going to be paying a visit to the islands soon.

Just the thought of it made my blood run cold.

Ten years, and it still didn't feel like I'd had enough time. I had known what was going to happen, and I hadn't been able to stop it. It had taken everything Terra, Aqua, Ventus and I had had to fight him, and we'd still lost. This time, I was alone. If he came-...

If he came, I probably wasn't going to make it out alive.

I swallowed, feeling my eyes burn as I continued to stare up at the sky. Years ago, that was all I could have hoped for. Anything to escape the agony brought about by losing everything yet again. Now, however...

"Miss Ignis!"

"Master Ignis!"

"Master!"

I found that...I didn't want to go.

"Master...?"

I sighed, a small, wry smile making its way onto my face at the voice. He would be the one to run into me tonight, wouldn't he?

"You should be asleep, Sora," I scolded, though anyone could tell it was halfhearted at best.

"I can't," he said, settling down next to me.

"You should at least try," I told him. "You've got a big day tomorrow."

His grin was just as bright now as it was when I'd first met him.

"That's exactly why!" he exclaimed, turning his gaze up to the night sky. "We've always heard the stories, but to know that we'll actually get to go out there! To see other worlds! It's amazing!"

I couldn't help the fond smile that slipped onto my face at that. He was so much like them, and yet, the warmth he always seemed to instill was unique to him alone.

I hoped that by nurturing it in him, I'd thrown Xehanort's, and even the mysterious Master of Master's, plans awry.

"But," Sora continued, his much more subdued and hesitant tone instantly drawing my attention, "there's...something I've been meaning to ask."

"What is it?"

"If-...If Riku hadn't been chosen when you first got here...or if Kairi had already been with us and not chosen by Master Aqua...would you have still chosen me?"

I blinked, honestly taken aback at the question. "What?"

He seemed a bit more embarrassed now, but the question still seemed to be weighing him down. "It's just- since you've started teaching us how to sense light and darkness in others, me an' Kairi noticed that Riku's...bright. Like, really bright. Then I noticed later that I couldn't sense any darkness in Kairi, and I just-...I couldn't help but think that-...that I-..."

"That you were chosen only because they were first."

He winced and I felt my heart twist painfully at his small nod.

"Sora, no," I told him, perhaps a bit too vehemently, but maybe that would make him listen more. "No, that's not it at all."

I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and waited until he was looking back at me to continue. "Sora, even if I'd had the option, I still would have chosen you. Precisely because you are you."

"Because...I'm me?"

I smiled. "Maybe Riku's a bit brighter, and maybe Kairi's a bit purer, but you...You want to know what I see when I look at you?"

He hesitated for a moment, probably afraid of what I might say, but nodded in the end.

"I see a warm light. Soft and gentle, like a sunset on the beach. It was that very light that reached out to me ten years ago, and pulled me back from the abyss I could feel myself starting to slip into. Sora, I wasn't kidding when I said your hug was just what I needed. That warmth- your warmth -kept me from ending up just like the others."

He blinked rapidly, his eyes becoming glassy with tears, and I sighed softly before throwing an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close. Even after all I'd done, Sora had still ended up doubting himself and his place as a Keyblade wielder. Still, at least this had happened now, when I could set him straight, as opposed to later, when I...might not be around.

"...Do you really mean that?" he asked quietly.

"I do," I reassured him. "Never doubt yourself, Sora. If you ever find yourself feeling low just remember this:

I chose, and would always choose, you. Not Riku. Not Kairi. You. Because you are kind, and cheerful, and strong- even if you may not believe it at times. You also have something special that they don't: a warm light that welcomes all. A light that shelters and heals. I know, without a doubt, that you will do great things. Amazing things." I smiled down at him, my heart lightening at the small smile on his face as he looked back. "And you trust your master, don't you? So trust in me now."

"...Okay."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Sora watched with growing concern as his master paled. His gaze fell onto the figure behind her, his eyes widening when he realized it was the man in the cloak he'd spoken with just yesterday.

"I must admit to some surprise," the man continued, seemingly unaffected by the storm that raged around them. "I thought I'd gotten rid of all of Eraqus's pupils, yet here you are- with students of your own, no less..."

She stiffened, finally whirling around to face him with a glare. "You will get nowhere near them, Xehanort!"

Suddenly the gravity of the danger was clear, and going by how Riku and Kairi seemed to freeze right next to him, they realized it too.

Xehanort. The man who was responsible for all of the bad things that had happened to Master Ignis and her friends. Because of him, Mister Terra couldn't be here to teach Riku, and Miss Aqua and Ventus were lost somewhere.

It was because of him that his master was so sad and lonely.

Even his laugh was sending chills down his spine. "Is that so? You may have ten more years under your belt, girl, but you're still nowhere close to my level."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

...To be continued?

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this! Maybe I’ll post snippets of my other, as of yet, unpublished SI/OC fics if you all like this well enough. I leave you with a picture of how Ignis looks at the end of these snippets, or rather, at the beginning of the events of KH1:

#SI/OC series #Ignis #Hearts- fanfic #Yeah I have a title for the fic despite not having much of a plot #Story snippets #Storytime with ForestWhisper3 #Brought to you by my brain

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syilcawrites · 4 years

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archived memories | 3

Series: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Type: Multi-Chapter Main pairing: Zelink (Zelda and Link) Rated: T Tags/Genre: pre-calamity, fluff (middle chapters mostly), hurt (toward the last chapters lmao), pining Summary: bits and pieces of zelink scenes strewn in between the canon memories in botw! Snippet from Ch 3: “His knuckles were white from gripping the hilt so tightly, she was sure that he was about to snap it off. It seemed as if he had forgotten how to relax. As if he was simply waiting for the worst to happen.” A/N: Shortly after Memory 4 Still getting a feel of writing these characters, so apologies if it seems a bit ooc heh. Enjoy! You can also read it on ao3! Click here to see all chapters on tumblr

Chapter 3: apology

Link grabbed her by her shoulders, checking her up and down, turning her body, searching for blood.

“Link, please—“ Zelda swatted his hands away, but he paid no mind to it. “I’m fine—hey!” Zelda yelped as he got dangerously close to a ticklish spot no one knew about. “ I promise you, I didn’t get hit!”

He stopped when he finally heard the tone in her voice. He let out a short exhale and finally took a step back, scrutinizing her under his gaze for a few seconds more before he tilted his head to the side. He nodded off toward a direction in the distance, Gerudo Town.

For once, Zelda walked behind him.

She hugged her arms around herself, her eyes never peeling away from his as he scoured the desert, Master Sword gripped tightly in his hand. She always thought the sword looked too big for him—he could never relax whenever he held it out. It was always bent up at an angle, because it was too long for him.

Every now and then he would glance back at Zelda, to make sure that she was still following him. A glance that she wouldn’t have noticed if she hadn’t been staring at him the entire time.

When she pushed away that hatred and jealousy, she realized that he was nothing more or less like her—she was merely a girl, and he was merely a boy. Both destined for something larger than their fragile bodies; bodies made of flesh and bone. Despite that, and despite her sharp tongue and fire-stringed words ever since they met, he didn’t hesitate to jump in front of her. She knew it was part of his job as her appointed knight but... the thought of him throwing himself into danger without a second thought both terrified and annoyed her.

But guilt, more than anything, creeped up into her heart as they made their way to the entrance.

------------------------------------------------------------------

They met Urbosa at the outskirts of the town, who immediately went to their aid the moment she was notified.

“I’m fine, they didn’t touch me—“ Zelda sighed as Urbosa checked her up and down, much like Link. At that point, she was just about ready to let them do what they wanted just so they could have a peace of mind.

“They better not have,” Urbosa growled, glaring out into the desert. “They’ve been coming here more frequently, you must be more careful,” she urged. Zelda nodded, hoping that it would suffice to show that she understood. She found that the longer she stayed here, the faster her energy seemed to drain from her, and at this point she just wanted to go back to the castle.

Link grabbed a map from his pocket, opening it up—a map of the desert. He circled the location that they were previously at and pointed off toward a location… into the mountains.

“I see…” Urbosa narrowed her eyes. “They ran off in that direction?”

Link nodded.

“This is more information than we’ve had previously, thank you, Link. At least we have some sense of where they could possibly be located now. You must’ve made them scurry off in fear if they all ran the same way.” This time, Urbosa observed the both of them in worry. “Are you sure you two don’t want to stay though? We can probably sneak in your little knight with a few disguises if need be.”

He turned his attention to Zelda, waiting, letting her decide.

“Oh!” Zelda shifted, stepping forward. “No, we’ll head back to the castle. I appreciate your concern though, Urbosa.” Zelda shook her head.

“Again, you must be more careful.” Urbosa sighed, rubbing Zelda’s shoulders comfortingly. Her smiles have always calmed Zelda down. “Let's hope we meet under better circumstances. I’ll send guards to escort you to the stables at least. They’ll be right behind you.”

------------------------------------------------------------------

Zelda gripped her notebook tightly in her hand, with Link once again taking lead. He hadn’t relaxed at all throughout the entirety they were there, and the tension only grew the further they trekked across the sand. She scribbled quickly in her notebook, jotting down her tumultuous thoughts before they escaped her. She would apologize, for being needlessly troublesome.

When would she apologize? That was an entirely different question she would have to deal with later.

Zelda tapped her pencil on the quill, considering her thoughts for a moment. Would her apology matter? She had been nothing but rude to him, for most of their interactions. He was simply doing his job in protecting her while she made that job all the more difficult for him. And he had no reason to—

Zelda almost bumped into him as Link held out the harness to her horse toward her, eyes hard; or maybe distracted. Distraction didn’t seem to fit him, though.

Concern?

“Oh! Um, thank you.” She stuffed her notebook into her pack, hoping her ‘thank you’ carried more weight than how it presented itself.

He merely nodded in affirmation, but she could see the slight tension between his brows soften.

The ride back was quiet, but she didn’t desire any sort of conversation this time to fill the empty silence. She sighed as the wind rustled through her hair, letting the last remnants of sand flutter away. It helped the fear from earlier also melt away from her.

She noticed that even on horseback, he still had the Master Sword out, drawn and ready to strike, as if he was simply waiting for the moment for another attack. His knuckles were white from gripping the hilt so tightly, she was sure that he was about to snap it off. It seemed as if he had forgotten how to relax.

As if he was simply waiting for the worst to happen.

Zelda frowned and urged her horse to go just a little bit faster, so that they were matching pace.

“Link,” Zelda started, trying to catch his attention. He looked at her in surprise and slowed down; Zelda followed suit.

“Link.” She said again, with more power this time. They had slowed to a trot. He held up a hand, signaling her to wait. Which was fine, because she was a bundle of nervous nerves. As she gathered her bearings, she noticed how he darted his eyes around, scanning the area around him. When he was finally satisfied with knowing nothing was going to jump out at them, he nodded at her.

“I’m sorry.” She blurted out, heat rushing to her cheeks. She, unfortunately, made eye contact with him the moment she had said it, and couldn’t find it in herself to tear her gaze away from those awfully blue eyes. She felt like if she did, her apology wouldn’t matter.

At least not for her.

“For everything.” She exhaled, her tense shoulders grew slack. “I went to Gerudo Town to avoid being with you, since I was tired of you following me everywhere, but that was selfish of me. I didn’t really consider how my actions would affect you, and it was quite immature of me.”

At this point, their horses had both stopped moving.

“I…” Now, she couldn’t help but glance down. Zelda chewed her lip, cursing herself. Now she couldn’t bring herself to look back up at him. “I hope you forgive me. I wish to make amends, if you can find it in your heart.”

Oh Goddesses, why did it sound like she was confessing to him? Although it wasn’t entirely off center, it was a confession of some sorts.

He didn’t say anything for a minute, which felt like an entire lifetime to her. Of course he wouldn’t so easily accept her apology—it was rather half baked and impulsive. She had a whole plan written out in her head and she was going to write it down but her quill had run out of ink and for some reason she felt compelled to just do it right then and there.

Zelda played with the harness in her hands. She could feel him just... staring at her. Zelda calmed her racing heart by thinking of the worst case scenario. He could simply say that he… didn’t accept it. That really was the worst thing, wasn’t it? Nothing would change.

Nothing would change...

Her heart plummeted at the thought of it.

Then, his hand came into view—reaching for her.

Zelda hastily looked back up at him; it was hard to hide the hopeful gaze she had.

His hand was held out, palm up, staring at her with those mysterious blue eyes that she could never seem to decipher. Zelda held up her own hand, one eyebrow quirked up as she reached for his hand. She had no idea what she was doing, and if he wanted her to reach out, but she did whatever felt like instinct to her.

He was solemn in his actions, looking at her as serious as the day she announced him as her appointed knight.

Zelda hesitantly placed her hand on top of his, and he held it tightly, whole heartedly, accepting.

He squeezed her hand, brushed a thumb over her knuckles, then let go.

Her heart skipped a beat at his slight gestures, at the signals and signs that she had yet to completely understand. Her hand lingered in the air for a moment, cold after his hand left hers.

It was the first time she really understood what he was saying, even if it was only bits and pieces of what he was trying to convey to her.

Zelda drew her hand back to her chest, clenching it near her heart. She looked back up at him to find him smiling at her—a smile that did not quite reach his eyes, but it was a smile that was truly his.

#zelink #botw #breath of the wild #link #zelda #archived memories #my fanfics #hope u enjoy!

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seriouslyhooked · 5 years

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The Same Soul 7

Available on FF Here and AO3 Here. Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6.

Our world AU where Emma and Killian knew each other as teenagers. Killian was sent to spend a summer with family in America. He met foster kid Emma while there. They fell in love but then he was forced back home and she couldn’t take the memories so she ran away, trying her best to move on from the dreams they’d always hoped for. A chance meeting brings them back together years later, and this time nothing and no one will keep them apart. Rated M.

A/N: Hey all! So we are back with another chapter of this story and I have to be honest, the beginning is really hard to read. For some of my more softhearted readers, this may be too much. It’s the moment when Emma and Killian had to say goodbye back in the past. Not to worry though, because I am not leaving us in sadness. Far from it, I’m actually including a snippet from the present as well. It will include fluff, a little smut, and hopefully some healing from the tiny heart ache that is the first part. Either way, I thank you so much for reading, and I hope you will enjoy!

(Past)

Today is easily the worst day I’ve faced so far.

The thought held no small weight to Killian, given all that he had overcome in his life. In recent years he’d lost so much, and none of that had been easy for him. The pain he knew was real and sincere, but this summer was a reprieve from all of that. With Emma, he was able to rebuild, to find himself again, and to wish for more than the darkness of before. Yet even that magic they had found was not infinite. There were still obstacles ahead, and in a few hours he was going to have to say goodbye to the girl who had total claim to his heart.

It would be months before the two of them could reunite, and to say he was impatient was an understatement. Killian had never resented his youth before, but today he did. Eighteen was such an arbitrary milestone. Some people lived so much of life even when they were young. He was not average. He had seen a lot and experienced the range of emotions any person could face. Trials had come, and he was stronger for them, but this one felt insurmountable. He could not fathom leaving Emma, it would be like leaving his soul, and what was the point of that? They were meant to be together, and if there was justice in this world then they would be, no matter what their ages.

Though Killian tried to tamp these thoughts down all through today, his heart was in excruciating pain any time the weight of their reality set back in. Tomorrow, bright and early, Emma had to head back to her foster home. Her summer at camp was now finished, the warmer season was blaring out in a last blaze of heat before the autumn chill would come, and Killian was set to depart for home soon too. His time at his Uncle’s was at an end and there was no way around that. He tried to tell his brother of his wish to stay here, but it wasn’t that simple. Him being a foreigner and things being rushed as they were made solutions virtually impossible. As such, Liam would be ready to receive him, and life was meant to go on. Emma would be going to the city, but he’d fly an ocean away, making things all the harder. Staying in touch was going to be difficult. They had few avenues to do so, circumstances being what they were, but in Killian’s eyes there was no choice on the matter. This could not end here, not when he’d given himself to Emma so completely. He loved her, with a deeper reservoir of feeling than most people could even comprehend. It was absolute and undeniable, and yet even that feeling could not spare them from this pain.

“How can something so beautiful still not make me happy?” Emma asked, her eyes cast out to the sea as the final bit of sunlight escaped from view. In the distance playing seals savored the last of the warm sun in their coastal home, and sea birds dove for final meals before the light was gone. The sky was streaked with a miraculous burst of color on this final summer day, but Killian knew exactly what she meant. This view brought him no comfort, not when the arms he currently had wrapped around the girl he loved would be empty very soon.

“I don’t know, love. But it’ll be better soon. I’ll be back at Christmas, and in the meantime I’ll do everything I can to make this better. Until then we’ll write. I’ll write you every day as many times as I can. There’s not a day that will pass where I won’t think of you, and even if I’m far away, I’ll make sure that you know it.”

Emma leaned back into his embrace, and he watched her tears brimming, but she wouldn’t let them fall. Instead she closed her eyes, soaking in the feeling of them being together and creating a tightness in his throat he dared not speak through. Damn it! This was the worst he’d ever felt. It was hopeless. Why did things have to be this way? Why did the world think that they were too young to make their own choices? All the rules that said they couldn’t be together yet infuriated him. Emma was the most important thing to him, and when she left she’d be alone. She had no family, no true friends back at the center, nowhere she felt she belonged. It was so wrong to send her back there, especially when he had so much love to give her. He’d spend every day of his life showing her that she was extraordinary and making amends for all the time that she’d gone through life alone.

Along with seeking out a way to stay, Killian had spent the past few weeks searching for a means to get Emma somewhere better. He was desperate to give Emma more, even if he couldn’t give her everything. Her coming with him was out of the question. A foster child in America was never going to be allowed to come back to the UK, so he asked his Uncle for help. The trouble was even a man with as much sway as Benjen Jones was limited, and there was little he could do, at least immediately. Much as Benjen might like to give Emma a place to live that was better than a group home, it wouldn’t be okay for him to be her guardian. If Killian loved her as he did, it wouldn’t be proper, and on some level Killian understood that. He even believed his Uncle when the man said he was working very hard to find Emma a good placement. His Uncle Benjen had many favors that were owed him, and he was calling in a number of them to see Emma placed in a loving, stable place where she could at the very least have peace until she was of age in a year or so. But even that was too slow going. The system was a mess here all the time, but during summer? Well, it turned out there were just too many cogs in the wheel. No answers had been found, no solutions secured, and so Emma was headed back to a place she truly hated, despite his attempts to get her out of there.

“I used to wish so badly for a family,” She whispered a few minutes later, her eyes casting back to the horizon. “I waited for the stars, searched for clovers in the grass, picked up every lucky penny that I could. Now finally I feel like I have one. You gave me that, Killian. You make me feel whole and wanted, and I don’t know how I’ll ever thank you.”

“Don’t thank me for something I was born to do, Emma. It’s my honor to belong to you.”

“I don’t want to go,” she confessed, turning to him, the tears now falling fully and he tried to wipe them away before pulling her in and hugging her close. Feeling her unhappiness was a knife to the soul. It tore at him, but he stayed strong for her. He held her close and made every promise he could think to make. He would love her forever. He would find a way. They would make it through this. It would be okay. But nothing could turn this around, not even the kisses they shared as Emma sought his lips on hers to drown out the sorrow of this terrible goodbye.

Eventually they knew they had to leave the beach. Emma’s curfew was drawing near, and they had less time today than normal. She still had to pack and say goodbye to the people who had watched her this summer. Killian wouldn’t say that they were close, per se, but there was an increased fondness there. Emma had been welcomed if not exactly fawned over, and Emma was grateful for the safe place to land. But while they were close to the time assigned to them when they went away this morning, Killian was surprised to find Emma’s caretakers outside awaiting them when they were back at the estate.

“Oh, Emma, there you are. We’ve been waiting for you.”

“Waiting?” Emma asked, and then her eyes cast to the woman behind them, who looked annoyed and aloof. “Ms. Stewart? But I thought pick up was tomorrow. I’ve still got one more night.”

“We sent word to your temporary guardians that there was a change in plan last week. But somehow it seems the message was lost.”

Killian didn’t think that was the case, not when the people Emma had lived with this summer shared a look between each other that spoke to a sad understanding. If he had to guess, these people had given Emma one more day, and though he was devastated that the time for her to go was now, he was so grateful for all the hours they’d been granted by a bit of compassionate aid.

“I don’t understand,” Emma said, before turning back to Killian. “I don’t know how to say goodbye.”

“Then we won’t, Emma. Because it’s not even a goodbye. Goodbyes are far too final, and this is hardly the end of you and me.”

“You love me?” she asked, wanting to hear something he’d told her a thousand times.

“Aye, with all that I am.”

“Forever?” she asked, as his hand cupped her cheek.

“Even longer than that, Swan.”

“And I’ll love you the same. I’ll never stop, Killian. You’ll always be with me.”

Killian wanted to ask her why it felt like, even without saying the word, Emma was bidding him goodbye. He was haunted by a feeling of foreboding, but then her case worker was heading to the car with Emma’s bags and time was up. For one last time this summer, Emma pulled him down for a kiss, one that was all too fleeting, and when they pulled apart her tears still stained her cheeks and her eyes carried every bit of sadness he expected his reflected.

“I love you, Killian. I always will…”

And with that, Emma was ushered away into the car, headed down the road, away from him, and taking all her light and love with her, leaving him unanchored in a sea of grief and pain.

………..

(Present)

Waking up from the vivid dream firmly based in memory, Killian could hardly catch his breath. His heart pounded in his ears and his adrenaline was shot, but then he sensed it, the warmth of his Emma right there beside him as she slept peacefully through the night.

God how scared he was to think that she was gone again. It was a scar he had born for years, the knowledge that she was nowhere to be found, and the eventual realization that she was lost to him for what felt like forever. It took a few months for him to realize the depths of their separation. He was alarmed at first when he didn’t hear from her. He sent letters every day and never heard anything back, any time he tried to call the group home Emma was at it was chaos. No one ever had answers, and rarely did they ever even answer the phone. Finally, a few months in, he was desperate to see her and on the day he turned eighteen he bought a ticket and flew the six thousand miles that separated them. He had no real plan except to see her – everything else would just work out, but then he got there only to feel excruciating heartbreak.

“Emma Swan is gone.”

“Gone? What do you mean? Was she placed somewhere else?”

“I’m not at liberty to say.”

Killian was aggrieved at that, but as he was heading out another worker stopped him. Was he K. Jones? Yes he was. A bit of hope tore threw him. Maybe Emma had left him a message. Maybe she’d left a way to find her. But instead the woman returned a few minutes later with a pile of letters, his letters to Emma, all of them untouched and unopened.

“Emma is what we call a runner,” the woman said in the face of his complete shock and horror. “She skipped out of here within twenty-four hours of returning from her camp.”

“How do you know she meant to leave? How do you know…” Killian couldn’t finish the words.

“How do we know she wasn’t taken? Police did an investigation. Caught a glimpse of her on camera at the bus depot but then the trail went cold. It happens sometimes with these kids.”

It should have never happened to Emma, and even now, years later and after more than a month of their being reunited, Killian still didn’t know why Emma had run back then. Had something happened? Did she feel unsafe in her placement there? Had someone hurt her? Or did she simply lose faith that he meant every promise that he made? Was the pain of it all too much? He could imagine so many reasons, and though none of them would heal the pain of the past, it was something Killian felt he needed to know. It was a final missing piece to the puzzle of what had been, and though he didn’t want to rush her, he felt strongly that he had to ask her why and soon.

As if she could sense his being awake and the pain he was in, Emma stirred in her sleep, blinking her eyes as she came to, and immediately seeing him. The smile that appeared when she saw him forged a direct hit to his heart, for in her eyes he saw relief. She was glad to be with him, thankful that it wasn’t just a dream, and happy here at his side.

“Someone’s thinking an awful lot for…” Emma shifted slightly to glance at the alarm clock beside his bedside table and groaned, “three AM. And here I was thinking we’d both be dead to the world until morning.”

Killian smiled at the reminder of how they’d come to that exhausted state, despite the heavy thoughts that had just plagued him. The love they shared, the heat and the desire had boiled over and for hours they’d teased and tormented each other with sheer pleasure. Over and over and over again they’d come together, spending the whole damn night as close as they could be. They were still so hungry for each other, so in need of catching up on all the time they’d lost. There was no dialing back, no shutting this down, and they both understood that. Even now, Killian felt that call, the ache inside that would only be cured by her touch, her kiss, and her warmth, and when Emma smiled seductively and hummed out a happy sound he knew she was on the same page.

“You really are insatiable, you know that?” she quipped as her fingertips ran down his chest and she moved to kiss him, ending the soft press of their lips with a slight nip that drove him wild.

“I’ve been called worse,” he said, coming over her and admiring the view. God she was gorgeous, even in this dim light that shone from the street outside. Every part of her was perfect, an enticement that he couldn’t resist, so he stopped trying. Why deny himself this happiness? Why forsake what they’d both gone far too long without?

“How can I want you this bad?” Emma asked, her words a gasped out sigh as his mouth trailed from her lips down her neck and along every curve and swell on her body. He took his time, reminding himself of her taste and riling her to a state that could compare to his own.

“Because it’s fate, love. You were made for me and I for you. Same as always.”

“I know,” Emma said, the affirmation more intoxicating than even the taste of sweetness on her skin. “But still. You drive me crazy. I always want this, always need this. It’s just not normal.”

Killian chuckled at that, reminding her that they were far from normal before he licked her most sensitive flesh, distracting her from her pondering about the bond between them. He growled as he took from her, driving her higher into her state of arousal before slowing down just to make her beg and plead. Only when he knew she might go mad did he send her over, and then, when he was certain she could take more he came back up above her, filling her over and over again and chasing completion that would leave both of them shattered and sated.

Having Emma like this was the best remedy to the sadness of before. He had no space for anything but peace here with her. This was where he belonged. This was the great joy of his life, to love this woman, to care for her, and to cherish her always. He had told her time and again that now they were reunited, he’d never let them part, and in this moment he relished that. Holding her in his arms after they’d both fallen into bliss, Killian knew that this time would be different. There would be no running, no distance, and no reason for this to end. They were together now and it would truly be forever. He’d see to that, no matter what it took.

“You had the dream again, didn’t you?” Emma asked and Killian was surprised at her words. “The one where I run.”

“How did you know?”

“You talk in your sleep sometimes. A few weeks ago you… well it doesn’t matter really. I should have told you when I found you again why I left at all. You deserve that at the very least.”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Emma.”

“I know,” She said with a sad smile as her hand came to rest against his heart. “But I do want to. I want to put it behind us, and I can’t do that until I tell you.”

Killian listened then as Emma explained those crucial twenty four hours that he could never find answers for. She told him how she had returned and how immediately the home had felt hollow and harrowing. She was hardened to it before, having never let anyone in, but after meeting him and tasting what better could be, it was all too much for Emma to take. That first night back another girl lashed out at Emma, a fight had ensued, one where Emma was just trying to protect herself, but the woman who ran the group home blamed her anyway. Then she’d gone off on Emma, completely violating every ounce of human decency she could in the process.

“She talked about my parents and how I’d never knew he they were. Then she reminded me of every home that gave me up. She sat there, reading my file one by one. It was so triggering to hear how long that list was, and she basically just said I deserved it.. I was never enough and she was all too happy to remind me of that.”

“God, I can’t even imagine, Emma. She was supposed to protect you, and instead she hurt you. She should never have been allowed around children. What kind of monster would say such things?”

“I found out a few years later that she was fired just a few weeks after I ran. She had a drinking problem and the state found out. I guess I wasn’t the only kid she messed up while running the place. She was deeply unhappy, and everything she said was about making me small so she could feel bigger. I just wish I could have seen it for what it was then. It took a long time for me to realize that her vitriol was a reflection of her, not me.”

“Was that all that she said?” Killian asked, his hands cupping Emma’s cheek, wiping away a stray tear that had fallen as she recalled this brutal blow.

“No. She said my summer was over. She said whatever I’d had there was no more. I had to remember who I was and where I came from. There was no happy ending in store for me because I didn’t deserve it. I wasn’t worthy of a story like that.”

The anger Killian felt at hearing all of this couldn’t be described. It was violent and unlike him. He had some very dark thoughts about this woman. She was malicious and cruel. She had deeply wounded the girl that he loved, and she kept them apart. Without her, Emma would have stayed. She’d gotten the chance to see how steadfast he was and they’d have been together all this time.

“I wanted to write to you. I wrote a hundred letters in my head, but I needed to find a place to land first. I never stayed anywhere for long, I was lucky to have a roof over my head more nights than not, and it took me over a year to reconnect with Mrs. H, but by then it felt too late. Surely you would hate me for not responding, right? I mean I knew on some level that you wouldn’t, but I don’t know, I got so scared, and I just… after everything I couldn’t take any more rejection. So I carried you with me, I dreamed of you, but I wouldn’t let myself go there. It was too much.”

“You were trying to survive,” Killian said, understanding her motives quite well. Emma nodded, her eyes closed as a few more tears fell. “And thank God you did, love. You had to be so strong. You had to do it all alone. I hate that you did, but damn I’m so proud of you, Emma. I’m so proud that in spite of everything, you still became all that you are.”

“So you’re not mad?” Emma asked and Killian shook his head as he kissed her lips again.

“Not at you,” he assured her, “never at you, love.”

“I love you, Killian,” she confessed, holding him close. “I love you so much and I know we haven’t said it to each other in forever but -,”

Unable to hear her worry about his feelings any longer, Killian silenced her with a kiss so searing and deliberate it could not be denied. He said with this embrace every single thing he felt, and he knew by the time they pulled apart that Emma understood. Still he gave her the words so as to put her mind and heart at ease.

“I have loved you from the moment that we met, Emma, I have loved you every moment we were parted, and I will love you every second of my life yet to come. You are it for me, everything I could want, everything I could dream of. With you I have the world, and without you I am lost. It’s just that simple.”

“I thought I’d never hear you say those words again, and now that I have… it’s like coming home.”

“Aye, because that’s what we are. We’re each other’s home and we always will be.”

So with that promise, and a few more stolen kisses, Emma and Killian allowed sleep to take them once more. And this time there were no bad dreams or nightmares past – there was only peace and the confidence of two people who were certain in their choice and who loved each other freely, just as they were meant to.

Post-Note: So there we have it. I chose to make this chapter a bit shorter than others mostly because it was so painful. Funny how my muse is determined to have these parts in a story, but my heart just can’t bear to linger with them. Anyway, please everyone rest assured that the remaining chapters (of which there are only a few) will be much lighter and that the hurt is behind Emma and Killian moving forward. Thank you all so much for reading, and for those of you who comment and review, please know that it means the world for me to read your feedback. Grateful for all of you and wishing you a wonderful rest of your week!

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angrylizardjacket · 6 years

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the things we do for likes {Joe Mazzello/Reader/Ben Hardy}

Anon asked: lol ben and joe having instagram wars on who can post the most embarrassing content of reader

A/N: again, written on my phone because the writing demon possessed me at 2am. I'm probs gonna have this as a series akin to B/R/R, aka disconnected vignettes in the same universe. Lemme know if you wanna be tagged. A case of the mondays is a McElroy reference, before you ask. 😊😊

It starts when Joe wakes up to an empty bed and noises coming from the kitchen; noises being footsteps, a loud bang, and some half coherent swearing. There's silence for a moment, then the opening and closing of the fridge. As soon as he's got his wits about him and realises it's just you in the other room, he opens his phone.

"So I wake up to no girlfriend and noises in the kitchen," Joe says after a minute of searching through his closet for his baseball bat, ready to film a bit for his Instagram. As he makes his way to the kitchen now, he holds the bat in frame, "I'm ready to rescue her if it's robbers." He assured the camera, voice still quiet and rough with sleep. Once he gets to the kitchen, however, he stops dead at the sight before him. There's a very long couple of seconds where all that the camera catches is his surprise.

"Why do you have a bat?" Your voice is muffled, as if you're speaking around something, and that's when Joe seems to remember he's filming, he changes to his front facing camera and turns on his phone light, exposing the fact that you're sitting cross legged on the kitchen island, eating a banana with a carton of juice in your other hand. You hiss at the light, arm coming up to sheild your eyes. The light doesn't move, and after a beat you shift your arm so he can see your face scrunched up where you're squinting at him, clearly unhappy about this intrusion into your snacking time. You take another bite of banana.

"Why are you on the counter?" He breathes, a little flabbergasted, and you chew, looking down at where you're seated, as if it's only just occurred to you that it's not exactly a normal chair. After a beat, you shrug, and raise the juice carton to your lips taking a long swig. You were so focused, so deliberate, and so obviously tired and half asleep that Joe couldn't help but laugh.

"Seriously, why do you have a bat?" And you finished the banana and put the peel down beside you with far more delicacy than it reasonably warranted.

"I heard noises and you weren't there, so I thought I'd come protect you from robbers." He explained, moving forward until he was standing next to you by the counter. You gaze into the middle distance for a moment as you contemplated his words.

"I was the robbers." You say, nodding sagely as the realisation comes to you. As if to prove this point, you reach out blindly for the fruit bowl that you'd already accosted once, picking up a lime and trying to fit the whole thing in your mouth. The last thing the video catches is Joe lunging forward to pull the fruit from between your teeth with a surprised exclamation before the video cuts off.

It's there that he realises that you're not half asleep, you're completely asleep, and sleep-eating at that. You're compliant enough when he leads you back to bed, though you adamantly refuse to let go of the juice, and you sit it triumphantly on your bedside table before promptly falling back into bed. Despite everything, Joe can't help but be endeared as he settles in beside you.

The video goes up the following morning after he shows it to you for your approval.

@joemazzello @yourinstagramhandle: "I had a case of the Mondays!" Me: "What does that even mean?"

@benhardy1 there's so much to unpack here

@benhardy1 also @yourinstagramhandle caught red handed drinking straight from the carton

@joemazzello @benhardy1 listen it was a lot to take in but youre right @yourinstagramhandle there was a cup right beside you!!!

@gwilymlee what is happening over there??

@benhardy1 @gwilymlee i know, im gone for one week......

@yourinstagramhandle I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS!! 😂😭 @benhardy1 @gwilymlee @joemazzello

@yourinstagramhandle dont bully me @benhardy1 i miss you x

@benhardy1 @yourinstagramhandle 😘😘

@joemazzello @yourinstagramhandle @benhardy1 gross (im kidding, come home)

@benhardy1 @joemazzello 🙄🖕 (😘)

It becomes a thing, much to your chagrin, 'a case of the Mondays' becomes a meme the moment Ben posts a video from set, of him walking into his trailer where you'd been waiting for him, only for him to find you laying on his sofa under a fluffy blanket, watching Netflix with a face mask on.

"You took too long, now I'm having me-time." You announced. In the background, the Friends theme song starts.

Ben captions the video 'when you're hit with a case of the mondays', and tags you.

Not fifteen minutes later, Joe responds with his own video posted to his Instagram story captioned 'are mondays contagious? asking for a friend'. The video seems to have been taken not long after Ben's since you're still in a facemask on his sofa in the trailer, the difference is that Ben's in a face mask, and you've got your feet in his lap. The video starts in the middle of a heated argument, and it takes a few moments for the two of you to realise Joe is there, filming. Ben's the first to reach out to him.

"Monica's the worst Friend, right? Back me up here." He asks, and before Joe can even think about answering, you groan loudly, rolling your eyes.

"Ross is obviously the worst Friend, are you kidding me? He's manipulative, he's mean, he's-" you start, carefully extracting yourself from beneath the blanket as you spoke, peeling off your face mask.

"He's a terrible boyfriend and brother, yeah, but he's not the worst Friend," Ben elaborates, following behind you, and Joe quickly takes your spot on the sofa while you're in the bathroom. The argument continues as you wrinse your faces, you taking it in stride easily when you realise your seat's been usurped, sitting yourself in Joe's lap while Ben takes back his original seat. Finally the two of you look to Joe who had been waiting for this moment. The Friends laugh track goes off in the background.

"Well, you're both wrong; the worst Friend is Phoebe." He announced very matter of factly, like it's something he's been sure of for a while. After a beat, both you and Ben groan in unison, you even going so far as to move from Joe's lap to Ben's. That's where the video stops.

You update your Instagram story not long after with a picture of Joe in a face mask, grinning like an absolute fool, captioned 'we got him'.

There's more videos, more pictures, all showcasing you in the worst lighting or weird situations, and all of which you approve before they're posted, despite how embarrassing some of them may seem. Despite all of this, you don't care; it's posted because you're comfortable enough to share yourself with them, even in less than flattering situations, and when you look up, their gaze meeting yours where they're grinning behind their cameras, you can see in their eyes the fondness, the 'yeah, this is the fool I love'.

Ben posts a candid video of you recreating the Risky Business sock-slide scene when the song comes on your Spotify while folding the laundry. The moment you spot him, he stops filming however, because he sees the mischief in your eyes, and the way your hips are moving as you step towards him; you're feeling silly and sexy, climbing into his lap on the sofa, still dancing, though it's more grinding now, and singing the half remembered words. That's not for the rest of the world to see.

Joe posts a series of photos chronicling you forgetting to use an oven mitt to check on the frozen pizza you'd chucked in the oven, and even goes so far as to draw a red circle around the mitt that was literally sitting on the counter beside the oven as you sulked in the foreground of the final photo, holding a bag of frozen peas to your hand. He doesn't post about how he sits you down in front of the TV and brings you a proper ice pack, how he finishes getting dinner all ready and how he and Ben spend the rest of the night doting on you as much as they gently tease you.

They post dumb, nonsense arguments, but not sleepy morning kisses; your reaction to trying food that's way too spicy, even for you, but not how you smile so sweetly over desserts; the way you nap in the weirdest places, bit not how cute you look when you fall asleep on one of them. That's by design. From the outside the relationship is fun and chaotic and bright, but you don't owe the world a confirmation of just how much you love these men. But honestly, the world seems to understand, and somehow that doesn't make you uncomfortable. Though even the small snippets the three of you have shared, it's clear you love and trust each other.

And it comes out in other ways too, other cast members, not that you really mind.

"Tell us about Ben, Joe, and Y/N, are they actually sappy on set?" Gwilym reads out a question during an Instagram live session he's hosting in his trailer to kill time between scenes. "Listen, I'll tell you what, they're worse on set," he tells his audience with playfully annoyed expression, getting up. "Joe's trailer is right next to mine and if I check-" leaving his own trailer he takes his phone with him, knocking on the one next door as the comments of his live show go absolutely nuts, "I bet all three of them are in there." He mused.

Joe opens the door, yawning and rubbing his eyes, clearly having just woken up. "Keep it down, man," Joe mumbles before he sees the phone in Gwil's hand.

"Sorry I woke you, say hello to Instagram, Joe." Joe grins, giving a wave when Gwil holds up the phone. "They were asking about you three," he knows without having to ask that you and Ben are with him. Whenever you came to visit the set the three of you stuck pretty close together.

"They're still asleep," Joe steps aside to allow Gwil to peak inside. As promised, you and Ben were draped over each other on the sofa, though your feet have clearly been moved where Joe had to extract himself to answer the door. The UK Office is playing on someone's laptop. You yawn in your sleep and nestle in against Ben further, even Gwil's heart melts a bit at that.

"Alright, sorry to wake you," Gwil smiles and retreats as Joe stifles a yawn and assures him it's no trouble at all. When he's back in his own trailer, Gwil takes a breather before going back to looking at his live stream.

"They're cute, it's disgusting at times, how cute they are, and yeah, no, they don't show a lot of that in public, but they do really care about each other." He paused, shrugging, "and sometimes they're just weird. I saw Joe dare Ben to try and eat a whole apple in one bite, and he tried, and Joe video called Y/N when it got stuck, but it turns ou her solution was for her to eat a whole apple in one go too, to see how to get out of it; it just got stuck. They all seemed surprised by this, and it was just one of those times where I was like 'ah, yes these people make sense together', you know?" He shrugged, grinning as he read a few comments, "yeah it really did feel like they all got hit with a case of the mondays."

Taglist: @cosmicsskies

shoot me a message and I'll add you xx

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #joe mazzello #ben hardy x reader #joe mazzello imagine #joe mazzello x reader #the angry lizard writes #gwilym lee #borhap cast imagine #borhap cast #bohemian rhapsody imagine #borhap imagine #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #ben x reader x joe #ben hardy x reader x joe mazzello

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its-a-writer-thing · 6 years

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How to Build an Author Website – How Many Pages + Social Media

In our last installment of “How to Build an Author Website,” we gave some advice on where and how to learn the skills necessary to build your own author website. Now we’re taking a peek into the final bit of nitty gritty involved with designing your own site – how big should it be? How many pages should it have? And, of course – does it replace social media?

Let’s dive in.

How Many Pages Does an Author Site Need?

You may think ‘the more, the merrier,’ but this isn’t always the case. In fact, across all industries, people are adopting a cleaner, non-cluttered approach to their web design. It’s considering ‘modern’ to put everything you need on one or two pages, since viewers have very little patience to click around in a mad hunt for answers to their curiosities or questions.

So, one or many?

Advantages of One Page

Less design needed from you! With every page you add, you’re increasing the amount of design effort you’ll have to invest. With just one page, you can focus all your creativity into a single area and ensure it truly shines.

Less clutter. As stated above, we’re becoming less and less patient as internet users. We know what we want and we’d like our answers in a snappy fashion, thank you! By having only one page, you allow readers to quickly learn all they need to know without having to switch tabs. As a bonus, it’s a godsend for those with slow internet connection, who certainly can’t tolerate more load time.

Less weight on your server. The more pages you have, the more data that results in – and that means your server has to store more. By limiting the amount of pages, and therefore data, you can stay within a cheap hosting plan that only provides a few megabytes worth of storage, saving you money.

It’s in vogue. A great number of author websites stick to just a landing page, since there are only three to five things readers are truly looking to know. A) Who you are as an author. B) What your book is and what it’s about. C) Do you have social media? D) Do you have more books coming out, and where can I find them? E) Fun facts or interesting snippets from/about your writing. There really isn’t much else! As such, many authors are choosing to go with the one-page format, so you’ll be sticking to the industry standard!

Disadvantages

Limits your layout. While a one-page site is in-fashion among authors, there are still some who choose to leverage multiple pages. Because, well, it looks nicer. It gives a more orderly sense to your website, and since a great number of websites have a menu bar with additional pages to view, if you lack this, it can make your site look a tad claustrophobic.

No shop function. Since shop functions are a complete system of their own, they will require their own page, even if this is linked on your landing page. Should you intend on selling your book on the site as well, you’ll have to create a second page anyhow. If you’re selling on Amazon, Smashwords, or another venue, however, one page with several links will be fine!

Overload. Additional features and plug-ins have a ‘weight’ of their own, and too many of them in a single area can lead to an incredible lag for visitors. Like the shop function, if you intend on adding a rotating album of your books, a ready-play video, or other flashy features, it’s better to spread these out on multiple pages, so visitors can decide to click in and accept that load (and that load alone) or pass it by for the more crucial aspects of your site.

Advantages of Multiple Pages

Better organized. As mentioned above, a site with multiple pages allows you to categorize information and spread it around neatly, so readers can more easily find the details they want without having to scroll, scroll, nothing but scroll.

Not in vogue, but an old favorite. While slimmer websites are in fashion, that doesn’t mean they have to be only one-page slim. It’s been a favorite of visitors and site builders for some time to limit the amount of pages – but to spread this over at least two, so as to ease navigation.

Less load. Also mentioned above, spreading out data makes it easier for visitors to load a single page at a time, without taking the brunt of an entire site all at once.

More features! You can have a shop function, a little animation sequence, videos, photo albums – the works! This can be spread across as many pages as you like.

Disadvantages

A labyrinth. Visitors are impatient. If they’re forced to search throughout your entire site via multiple pages to find the simple information they want, they’ll cut their losses and click away.

More design effort. With many pages comes many design options. You could leave all the others rather plain while tidying up your landing page, but this will give it an unfinished look. Remember, the more you have, the nicer it all has to look!

More cost. If you hire a designer, they will likely charge by the page, raising your overall expenses. If you do it yourself, you still have to ensure your server can hold all this new data, and that may result in upgrading your hosting package.

Pro-Tip from Lena S Andersson: “One of the most important things is to keep things clear and simple in terms of layout and looks.”

If you have enough content to span 10 pages, be sure to ask if it should. Is there anything you could remove without truly hurting the site? Then you should, as a cluttered site can be even more damaging than no site at all!

“It all depends on the message you have. If the book you’re publishing has an attached history that’s really crucial, then perhaps more pages are needed to convey the magnitude of what comes with this simple book. If your story is a more straightforward, then one page may be enough.”

To Social Media or Not to Social Media?

Now that you have a site, does it replace social media? Does it make social media less important?

Pro-Tip from Lena: “I wouldn't say a website replaces social media, but the two can do a great deal for each other. Social media can help you get the site out there and reach people in a different way than what just a website can do on its own. A website can give people more information and guidance than just social media can do. Both are important in their own way.

“It’s key to remember that, on social media, you’re playing on someone else’s platform. Having your own website means having your own platform!

“So, both are needed, but having a website can do more for you than existing only on social media. It gives you a solid presence that is easy to reference and easy to share.”

Wrapping Up

That’s all for now! If you’ve missed them, please check out the other articles in this series of “How to Build an Author Site.” A big thanks to L S Andersson for her insights and advice about this exciting (though daunting) venture for writers.

If you’re interested, please take a look at her author site, AnamMara.com, and check out her debut book, Behind Closed Doors: Trusting The Unseen, available on her site and on Amazon. Along with her book, Lena is preparing to launch an inspirational project, called AnamMara.

The Project

Can you briefly describe the project?

“A lot of women around the globe are not able to leave dangerous and violent surroundings, domestic abuse, and sexual violence due to fear, lack of resources, and a lack of funds. Even worse, they’re trapped because they have nowhere to go and nobody who 'sees' them.

With this project, I work passionately and actively to empower women to break free from the destructive cycle of poverty, unemployment, domestic abuse, violence, and modern slavery. I hope to accomplish this through advocacy and my book, as well as through a network of independent stylist resellers.”

The Goal

Can you briefly describe the goal and overarching purpose of the project?

“I am passionate about creating business opportunities for women, and empowering individuals to create independence via their own income. This vision comes from my own past experiences of abuse, socially vulnerable, and disadvantaged situations. You can read more about this in my book.

I also feel we need to talk more openly about these issues in society and in the world. As such, my goal is to educate and inform - to tell people how the world looks for millions of women everywhere, a fact which is so silenced and oppressed.”

The Steps Being Taken

What steps are being taken to launch this project and make it a success?

“I am partnering with organizations working to get the voice out for people who have no voice. I hope that - through advocacy and my book, by partnering with organizations, and by collaborating with resellers and ambassadors – together, we can make a difference and see change when it comes to abuse and violence against women.”

You can sign up via the website AnamMara.com to participate in this project now, donate via GoFundMe, or buy her book Behind Closed Doors: Trusting The Unseen on the website or on Amazon.

Thanks for reading, and happy writing!

#author site #anammara #L S Andersson #writing advice #empowering women #building an author site #author website #iawt #Behind Closed Doors #Behind Closed Doors: Trusting The Unseen #writing tips #writing resources

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brightsun-and-darkmidnight · 5 years

Text

Heartbeat: A Fragile Reminder

TITLE: Heartbeat: A Fragile Reminder

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 31 / ?

AUTHOR: brightsun-and-dark midnight

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki falling in love with a Midgardian and his words to Thor about Jane during Dark World coming back to haunt him. “It would be a heartbeat. You would never be ready.”

RATING: M for Mature

NOTES/WARNINGS: ~▪︎~FOR THE WHOLE STORY~▪︎~

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Check Masterlist. It's going to be a long read. I try to keep each chapter around 3,000 words.

My Ao3: brightsun_and_darkmidnight

!-!TRIGGER WARNING(S)!-!

So many triggers, read ALL of them!

Swearing. Angst. Death. Depression. Violence. Self-harm. Regret. Carelessness for safety. Doubts. Torture. NSFW. Smut. Fluff. And Of Course- Mischief.

Summary: Recovery and Discovery

~ ~ ENJOY ~ ~

Everyone followed Eir. Alicia was drawing, her hand slowed and Emma observed the image. Then held it out. Loki grabbed it immediately. Alicia held Marcibeth as Luit approached, the smirk on his face was the trademark of his teasing. Edward was in the background.

Alicia stared at the wall as if she was going to melt it.

Loki went to Alicia's side and she blinked, "I feel like… like I should know something. Like the knowledge gives me confidence but I'm just unsure about something."

Loki stroked her hair, "everything is going to be alright."

Alicia was handed the vision and she glared at it, "I swear I am so over those people." Emma took the drawing and eased her back onto the bed. Loki helped Emma make sure Alicia stayed covered as she searched the room, "where is Marci?"

Emma pushed Alicia down with a single hand pushing on her chest, "She was escorted out. She had you in the cuffs for roughly an hour and went so far as to lock the entry points." Alicia tried to get free but Emma easily kept her hand there, "Alicia you are lucky. I still don't understand HOW you managed to be alert when we came in."

Alicia's eyes locked on her hand that was trying to pry Emma's off. Loki recognized the thumb ring as one he bought her for more casual days. Alicia explained Marcibeth put a spell on it and it helped. Loki locked eyes with Emma and Eir.

Eir casually asked, "what was the spell?"

Alicia gave up on trying to sit up and rolled her wrists with grimaces, "I don't know. She whispered to the ring and her handwriting is terrible so I couldn't read it." Alicia was staring at her ring, "she is my sister and whatever it was, it helped."

Loki held his hand out and asked to examine the ring. Loki let his Seder examine the spell and it was definitely a spell from Luit's family. Despite the uneasy feeling in his stomach, Loki smiled and gently ran his thumb over the ring, "your sister cares about you. It is a protection spell. Keep it on."

Eir commanded, "Alicia you should try to rest more, there are people here to help you order some food. Emma will tend to your pains. We will be back in a few moments."

It was quiet on the way to a meeting room. Only their footsteps were heard among everyone. Still no one said a word until the door was closed and after everyone sat down within the meeting room for after medical procedures.

Loki pointed to the recent drawing, "Asgard. Join. Ship. That is what the other healers said. There are no ships here. She is never going to join Luit."

Valkyrie asked, "Well how is this her worst vision?"

"Do not forget anything can change now that she has her vision in her dreams." Eir closed her eyes with a frustrated sigh as she paused looking through a book, "Emma has found information on this. Just be quiet."

Loki clenched his teeth, closed his eyes and pinched the skin on his wrist. How could her sister do that, to force Loki to break the cuffs. Alicia's wrists had mild damage but even with her wrists healed there was still pain. At Least, Loki did not have to worry about Marcibeth and those damn cuffs that were damaged beyond use. They were a Midgardian version, similar to Luit.

Loki was pulled out of his thoughts noticing Eir's voice and observed how her finger went over the script. "Some witches are able to affect the future, the moments after the worst vision... Usually only trapped inside the witch's dreams and only the contracted healer can see them - if that is the case the vision will change in the Witch's mind to some degrees. It can also be the witch's eyes have been lost and they use their visions to see. Present visions once eyesight is lost can result in the witch changing the future to varying degrees. All of this information was already recorded, it is why Emma was able to tell us the vision is in her dreams."

Loki studied the writing in one style of handwriting. Emma's hand writing, "How was that information recorded?"

Eir turned to the next pages with different handwriting stained with blood, "intelligent healers."

Jane eyes the page and visibly paled. "Those people died?"

Thor looked at Jane then Eir…

Eir closed the book, "Healers sign a special contract with the Oracle to let the future play out as naturally as possible. If a healer gives any knowledge as to what the worst vision is, they are forced to keep the secrets. It is thanks to the sacrifices we know more about witches and visions."

A silence lingered in the air. Loki thanked all healers before this moment for their sacrifice.

After the moment of silence everyone agreed not to ask Emma about a thing. Eir found another little snippet that only healers could see the visions and was guarded by the contract even in their mind, a courtesy by the Oracle.

Eir quickly asked, "Loki, what was the spell on that ring?"

Loki closed his eyes briefly, "It is a protection spell, an enchantment. It heals magic, to slow the flow. It is Luit's special protection spell from his touch, but the wearer can not use magic against the caster."

Jane exaggerated the roll of her wrist, "so it is a trap?"

Loki's hands fisted, "Exactly. I suspect Marcibeth is some sort of descendant of Luit. Only his family's blood can use it. Which might be the Asgard part of this vision."

Thor growled, "and she is out, Norns know where. We can't question her."

Valkyrie spoke up, "well, let's hope Marcibeth has no bad intentions."

Eir was getting other books on bloodlines, "we need to figure out both of their ancestors. I hope we have the documentation of her ancestors information. We will get her tested and have the specialists look at this." Eir pushed the book aside after a quick look. "Alicia is in Emma's hands…"

Thor put his hands on the table, "Yeah well...Let's hope she keeps her safe." Thor's eye met Loki's, "to be the reason royalty dies is punishable in extreme measures."

Eir stood and put the books back on the shelf, "I am sure Emma will do nothing to make Alicia weak. Successful healers know what their witch needs and Emma has proven herself repeatedly that she is studying hard." Eir's lips pulled into a small smile… "Emma is stubborn, resourceful, and careful… Alicia is headstrong and an extraordinarily hard worker. They work well together by pushing the other to new levels." Eir's eyes lifted and her back straightened, "I am going to see how Alicia is doing. Elders are already on the way to see the soulforge."

Eir walked out after excusing herself. Loki followed and again, they said nothing to each other. Eir and Loki went to the healing rooms.

"Alicia I swear on the NORNS! -If you do not rest, I will restrain you."

"I am going to talk about my mission request. Emma move."

Loki's eyes shifted between the two then to Eir as she told Alicia to rest. Alicia groaned but sat on the bed. Alicia asked for a spell book then. Emma denied the request but turned the TV on. Emma held Alicia's hands and the glowing gold flowed into her wrists. When the flow stopped Emma turned and muttered about Alicia's stubbornness then at the door she turned quickly and told her to stay in bed.

Alicia rolled her eyes as Loki sat in a chair by the bed.

Alicia muttered, "This is a cursed tower."

Loki smiled brushing hair back, "How about a little vacation?"

Alicia snorted, "Emma would make a serious attempt at both of our deaths. I also put in the mission request."

Loki clenched his jaw and closed his eyes so he would not glare. He felt soft fingers and the light scratches of her nails. Eyes opened to see her wincing then Loki held her elbows and leaned back. He told her to relax, she made him a deal to get the team together and have a video conference. He told her to not give Emma anymore trouble.

She smirked, "I will."

Loki told Emma to have fun on the way out. The team was already heading to Alicia's room. Emma was arguing about Alicia trying to heal herself. Alicia threw her hands in the air and tried to hide the pain with a grit of teeth. Emma chided her about pain and how there was a healing schedule for her due to her magic getting back in order.

Emma's finger pointed at the stubborn woman, "Alicia I will put you to sleep."

"Am I too difficult for you?"

Emma kept her mouth shut as she laughed. "As soon as your little meeting is over you are eating and going to sleep."

"Yes, mom."

Emma's throat rumbled as she walked past the team.

Alicia smiled at the team and asked when they were going on the mission. Tony informed her that they would be going without her. Peter knew the room he was in during the ambush and they will search it for an entrance. Alicia protested but Steve said it was Eir's restrictions for the next week. Peter apologized but Alicia stayed silent as she stared at her hands.

"It's ok."

Emma came back with a soup, bread, and smoothie. Alicia groaned like some child but Emma told her if she ate all of the she could have some fish-without Asgardian herbs. Alicia ate with a pout. Everyone knew Alicia hated missing out on missions, especially considering her father. Loki stayed when everyone left.

"You don't need to stay. It is boring as hell here."

Loki took the spoon of of her hand, "I see you struggling. You need to rest your hands." Loki smiled holding a spoonful up to her mouth, "sooner you heal the sooner you get out of this bed. Good girl." Loki saw how Alicia smiled after she took the whole offering in her mouth. As he fed her she held his eyes, sucked on his fingers each time he gave her a piece of bread that was dipped in the broth. Loki chuckled as he offered the last bit of smoothie to her. He saved a few pieces of bread to cover the taste. As she was sucking on his fingers after the last piece Emma cleared her throat.

"I am glad to see you are resting because I fully expected you two to be taking advantage of being alone." Emma said loudly to keep Alicia quiet, "ANYWAY. I had some food brought here. Enough for Loki and a little bit of fish for you as well. Thor and a few Asgardians will be here soon...so keep behaving." Emma pointed her fingers between the two, sent a mother's warning glare before walking out.

Loki fed Alicia some of his own food after she ate all of her fish. They ate together as Alicia said she felt odd as she could eat so much. Admitting to not eating anything before this moment but it was like she was replenishing magic. Loki had a feeling it was similar to when he needed the extra energy after a day of too much Seder use. Everything about her changes in eating made sense, noticing how she usually only had a few bites when they first met and how she ate plates more once she started training with Emma

Eir, Thor, Emma, and Elders came in. Alicia was put back on the soulforge and the elders examined the information. Alicia laid still and silent as they went through the information. Loki noticed how Alicia was emotionless through the whole thing. Her face was pale, blank and her eyes were dull.

An elder woman spoke up, "I am sure there are no mistakes but we will get her to the one in Asgard soon enough for a better image." The image disappeared and the woman smiled at Alicia as she helped her up, "we will see each other again."

Loki let Emma guide Alicia back to her room. Alicia seemed to be in a daze as Emma gave permission for Loki to stay. Loki sat beside the bed and held her hand.

When she finally spoke it was monotone as if she was undecided on how to react, "I don't understand." Then she laughed, "how could I? Neither of my parents said a thing. None of my family did." She looked at Loki and he saw the tears threatening to spill, "I grew up surrounded by family until my vision." She turned her head towards the ceiling and kept her eyes open, "everyone left once I drew things that happened later on." The tears fell as she gripped Loki's hand, "everyone leaves."

"Well Love.. you are stuck with me. Till the end of our lives."

Her nostrils flared as she exhaled quickly with a grim smile, "we didn't have that official ceremony."

"Alicia you are the only one for me." Then her eyes met his and his heart broke at how ragged the battlefield of her mind was. He smiled, "we kind of told the King… So it is basically Official."

Alicia rolled her eyes with a smile. The last few tears fell as she replied, "perhaps you are the one stuck with me."

Loki wiped the tear trails away, "blessed. I am blessed with you." Loki kissed her forehead "go to bed Love before Emma decides to remove me." When Loki tried to sit in the chair Alicia tried to pull him but winced. Loki eased her hands away "I do not want to hurt you, this chair is actually quite comfortable." Loki felt her shield behind him and pushed him closer, "love, you need to sleep. To rest."

"I will, but I need someone to hold me. I doubt Emma is going to volunteer.."

The shield disappeared and Loki sighed, "as soon as you are asleep I will move to that chair."

Well… when Alicia woke up Loki was still asleep. She smiled with a whisper, "God of Lies.."

Alicia laid still and watched some boring TV news. The door opened and Loki's grumble as he rolled away from her had both Alicia and Emma sharing amused faces. Alicia felt the bed shift as Loki stood up. He went to the window and tried to stifle a yawn.

Emma held her hands out and Alicia displayed hers. The sensation was soothing and took the ache and sting away for a little. Emma helped Alicia sit up moved the table to Alicia and watched Alicia take the medication before she left. Alicia's pain eased little by little as the medication took effect.

Alicia took her own fork while Loki ate his own food. He eyed her but she claimed she would be fine. There were stabs of pain as she moved her wrists or even moved her fingers wrong. But the pain that had her gasp were surges of magic. There was a loud yell for help as Alicia clutched her chest.

The food table moved away as she was eased backwards. Tears pricked her eyes as she tried to breathe but it felt like her body was filled with something that constricted her air. She felt Seder working around her chest but she was hyperventilating from fear. She heard Emma telling her to breathe slowly, to focus on that only. Alicia tried but her heart felt like it was going to collapse on itself which had her breath caught in her throat. Her mind was racing but no thoughts other than breathing were present. Her body was becoming numb from the amount of pain coursing through her.

Emma's hands were cupping her face as she stood at the head of the bed. Alicia's mind relaxed, she couldn't think of anything other than the darkness. The calm, silent, and still darkness. Emma forced her mind to it's safe space from everything. The space she went to block out everything.

Everything was getting fuzzy and bright. Alicia let the vision happen.

Alicia watched many scenes play in her mind.

Marcibeth got Marcus out of a place and she gave him to some of the Avengers. Luit and Edward in custody. Alicia rushing to find her sister… then she felt terrible as she seen her fight her own sister. Then Marcibeth going with Edward and Luit on a ship.

Alicia felt her mind being forced from those thoughts and she did not feel as much physical pain. However, the visions were too fast and it felt like they weren't in order.

A family and challenges.

Seeing other worlds and new beings

Extreme pain form years of torture.

Alicia's child in her arms then a future with no children at all.

Alicia's funeral.. other funerals.

Happiness.

Loki's face worried. They were in some sort of, building? Alicia knew they would be alright but left Loki to worry.

Death.

A silhouette of a large figure.

Darkness enveloped her in a comforting embrace. There were so many possibilities. Good, bad..a mixture.

A soft murmuring in the room. Alicia opened her eyes. Eir was talking to others. Alicia felt puffs of air on her head, the feeling was welcomed due to the coolness but it smelt weird. Her eyes met Emma's exhaustion with eyes threatening to close.

Emma panted, "You are so ridiculously… challenging."

"Sorry?"

Emma laughed with big breaths as she stood with the help of others.

Eir stood over Alicia, "your body was going into your worst vision but your mind could not keep up. It could be a result of being in the cuffs too long. Do you remember what you could see.. feel?"

Alicia bit her lip then rolled it out of the grasp of her teeth. "I'm not sure. There were… so many ways it turned out."

Eir nodded, "maybe another time." Eir glanced at Emma slumped in the chair, "probably not soon though."

Alicia observed no one helping her, "help her."

Eir gave Alicia a serious look that was worse than Emma's, "It is best to leave her rest on her own."

Eir stepped back and the other healers went outside.

#chapter 31 #loki #Heartbeat: A Fragile Reminder #brightsun-and-darkmidnight #check triggers #check description

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tylermagnusenvest · 5 years

Photo

26th September 2015

“I take it back,” Alastair sighed, running a hand back through his hair. “I’m not sure I like you two getting along, not in the slightest.

Tyler had been with Alastair and Ann- as she insisted he call her- for around four days now, it had been an odd sort of four days. Waking up in Alastair’s home was wonderful, the house was big but it didn’t hold the same quiet as somewhere like his grandmother’s, before he was even dressed he could hear chatter in the hall. Alastair and Ann, he found out fairly quickly, had separate rooms, which suited them both fine. He hadn’t been in Alastair’s. Ann’s though, she pulled him into after breakfast that very first morning, her room was beautifully decorated, with art on the walls and bright vases of flowers on various surfaces of the room. She had her own dressing room and a private study, which is where she took him, to show off her collection of books and assure him he could borrow any he liked from now on. He did borrow some too, titles he’d never heard of, all beautifully leather bound. They had a conservatory and Tyler spent much of his morning there, it was filled with flowers, like a floral jungle where he could nestle down on a bench and read for hours without being disturbed. He liked hearing Alastair and Ann talk to each other, he went back to work on that first day but even though he got back to their house late they waited to eat dinner with him, he’d never had dinners like it. They spoke about their days, teased each other, no one mentioned if he was eating slowly or quickly, in fact none of his behaviour was picked up on. Ann would ask him questions about his work, she’d smile when he spoke and really listen, occasionally he’d find Alastair watching him too and his face would grow warm simply from having so much attention on him. They spent the hours before bed in the front room, by the fire. They’d drink tea or wine and Ann told him all kinds of stories about Alastair from when they were growing up. He laughed so much one night he cried. Then there were wonderful, tender moments when Ann would take his hand and simply hold it for a little while, they’d talk about silly things and she’d playfully complain about Alice getting fur all over the place- a fair point because she was allergic. Being here, with the two of them, was like nothing Tyler had ever known.

“Don’t be so cynical,” Ann scolded from where she sat on the blanket.

This was his favourite day by far. He had no work until late today, and that morning Ann had announced they were to have a picnic for lunch. The weather, unfortunately, had not agreed with her. Tyler had learnt, however, that Ann couldn’t be stopped so easily. Instead of in the gardens, she set everything up in the conservatory instead. The three of them sat around a blanket, with tea, cakes and little sandwiches centred between them. They ate and talked and laughed, read poetry and snippets of books to each other, leant back and watched rain patter on the glass above their heads. When Ann found a young photo of Alastair tucked into a battered old book, it had set them both off laughing, he liked how this whole other life Alastair had lead was no longer such a mystery to him now, he liked that his time with Alastair wasn’t something he had to keep to himself.

“Neither of you tease me this much by yourselves, together you’re unbearable.”

“I think you mean unstoppable,” Ann offered him a grin and then checked her watch with a sigh, getting to her feet. “Though unfortunately I actually have some errands to run before tonight, I’ll count on you boys to tidy up without just asking the elves to do it, they’re having a night off and have more important things to organise before they leave.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Alastair gave her a salute and she rolled her eyes as she left.

It hadn’t been the two of them alone for a while. Alastair worked every weekday, he worked in the evenings, other than the time they spent together at dinner this had been there first time truly alone. Tyler wouldn’t say he’d been avoiding it, though even if they’d had opportunities before he might not have eagerly awaited a moment like this. He had a lot to say to him, honestly, he just wasn’t entirely sure how to say it. He opened his mouth to speak, not entirely sure what he was going to say yet but something was better than nothing, when Alastair suddenly sighed, twisted around where he sat and then flopped onto his back, with his head settling to rest in Tyler’s lap. His face flushed and any attempt to speak vanished.

“You seem much better, I wasn’t so sure for a day or two, but today you definitely seem more yourself.” Alastair reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. “I’m glad the two of you get along, I always suspected you would but... but I was scared to let you into this part of my life, Ann is much braver than me.”

“She’s wonderful.”

“She is.”

“And your home is beautiful.”

“Yes, I’m very lucky.”

“Are you happy?”

A moment passed between them, where he could feel Alastair’s searching his face but he couldn’t bring himself to meet his eyes.

“Yes, my life is good here, for what it is,” he paused and when he spoke again his voice was different, quieter and vulnerable in a way Tyler wasn’t used to. “I would give it all up for you still, if that’s what you’re too afraid to ask, I’d give it up in a heartbeat. I’d take you anywhere, we could start over, I’d feel guilty at first but you’re what I want and, strangely enough, I think Ann would be the first to support us. Though maybe she could come too. I’ve thought about it a lot this week, with the three of us here, we could stay together. I’d be married to Ann, to keep her safe from her family’s interference, until she found someone she truly wanted to marry, but other than for the sake of appearances I could be with you. We could travel for a while, go to places neither of us have been before, Alice would probably like it too. I would look after you, I know I could make you happy, you’d never want for anything and you’d never have to worry about your family again.” Then he sighed. “But you’ve been here a few days now, and I see you checking your phone every night, there are moment when you’re with us one moment and then I can see you’re a million miles away. Or maybe not that far- Jeremy lives in London, right?”

Saw right through him, as always.

“Have you spoke to him yet?”

Tyler shook his head.

“You should. I can see you miss him, and it brings me no pleasure to admit that.”

“I can’t... the way we left things, it’s a complicated situation.”

“One you can talk to me about.”

“You wouldn’t want to hear it.”

“Try me.”

Tyler tilted his head, looking down at Alastair and waiting for him to cave, but he didn’t so Tyler sighed and mumbled, “Well, we hadn’t seen each other in a while, and he just showed up out of nowhere. We were talking and then... then we weren’t talking, because Jeremy is ridiculously sweet but also ridiculous inept at keeping his hands to himself... and we’re kissing and his hands are wandering and-”

“Alright, alright.” Alastair’s hand came up to cover his mouth, he huffed in a way that was completely childish but made Tyler smile. “Perhaps I don’t need all the details.”

Tyler took his hand, linked their fingers together and smiled weakly.

“I don’t fully understand but I know you love him, and you assured me that he loved you. Ann and are attending the remembrance gala tonight- I’m sure she mentioned it- so perhaps you could go and see him?”

“I can’t... not tonight, I have a work thing.”

“Alright. Soon then.”

Tyler sighed, “Alright.”

~~~

Tyler didn’t quite know what to expect when he walked into Spectrum, an hour before his first shift was officially meant to start, he’d been told to come early so he could meet the team and get more details on his shift. It was fairly quite when he arrived, though it was only 7pm and Under Street was known for having clientele who preferred the much later hours, but the club was already being prepared for the night ahead. It was beautiful, honestly, with lights strung across the ceiling spreading all colours of the spectrum across the floor. Music was already playing, the beat pulsing into the floor and making it vibrate, there were even a few people at the bar already too with fizzing, foaming, colourful drinks before them. Tyler had been to clubs before, muggle ones mainly, as he was less likely to bump into anyone he knew there, but this was something else. Two men stood behind the bar. One was young, with a handsome face, he had glowing rainbow bands on both of his wrists. His blonde hair shone with rainbow glitter, his cheeks were brushed with a dusting of it too, though they were also highlighted with a glowing blue tinge that curved over his cheekbones and flicked upwards towards his temples. The other man, who was slight older but no less attractive, had dark hair and dark eyes. He wore a single glowing band on each wrist but the colour on his cheeks was fiery, a gradient of colour from a deep red to electric orange, with silver gems studded throughout.

“You alright there, lovely?” The blonde had looked up from the bar and was now looking to where Tyler was unintentionally hovering, adding the finishing flourished to a drink with a smile on his face. “Don’t be shy, gorgeous, take a seat and I’ll whip you something up- what’s you poison? I could take a guess at it, something sweet or maybe something more fiery?”

“Ignore him,” The other bartender rolled his eyes, leaning on the bar with both hands pressed to the surface. “He doesn’t mean to scare customers away.”

“Oh, no, I’m...” Tyler stepped forward then, reminding himself to remain confident and calm, though unable to help being a tad shy when he continued, “I’m Tyler, I’m here for-”

“Tyler Envest, you’re right on time!”

From behind the bar a door sung open and a woman stepped through it with her hands on her hips. She had a warm, playful smile, with her hair styled into seven different puffs atop her head, each shimmering with a different colour. Her eyeliner was a bright turquoise, curling out from the corner of her eyes into blooming yellow roses at her temples. She strode along the bar and around the end, taking confident steps towards him, and then offered a hand which he took with a small smile.

“Don’t let the boys scare you off, Alfie flirts with everyone and everyone, and the two of them will bicker from now until kingdom come if you let them. Other than that, they’re a good pair. I’m Delara, weekend manager here at Spectrum, we’ll be seeing a lot of each other so if there’s anything at all you need you just let me know, alright?” Tyler could barely keep up but he gave a nod and Delara stepped aside, dropping his hand and gesturing to him instead. “This here is Tyler, our new weekend hire, his CV is impeccable so if you two scare him off on his first day there’ll be hell to play.” She turned to him again and her smile only widened. “Now come on to the back, you must let me paint you.”

He had no idea what that meant but when Delara walked back behind the bar he followed close behind, she took him through to the back of the club, where it was immediately quieter and up close he could see there was a ‘staff only’ sign on the door. There were hangers along the hall with bags, glowing bands and jackets hanging from them, she lead him right through to the back where the space opened up into a room with desks and mirrors all along one side, and sofas and seats all along the other. The seats and sofas were full of pillows, sequins and sparkles, in all different colours. Canvases were hung up on the wall with slogans on them such as ‘we’re here, queer, and serving beer’ and ‘baby, we were born this way’. At the back of the room was a small kitchen set up, basic with a kettle and a microwave, a mini-fridge and little else. A door to the back had the toilet symbols on the front. It was basic but nice, comfortable, he’d never been to a place like it. He was still trying to take it all in when he was ushered into a seat at one of the many mismatched dressing tables along the side of the room, blinking rapidly when Delara pressed a button and lights strung up around the mirror came to life.

“Well, now I get to see you in better light I have to give Alfie credit, you’re a pretty boy with a very pretty face. I’m going to have fun working on you.”

Tyler could feel his face go red but before he could reply the blonde- Alfie- from behind the bar came strolling in and dropped into the next seat along.

“See, it’s not all about the tips, I have a good eye for a good face.” He offered a hand across the space and Tyler took it, they shared a firm handshake before the boy continued, “Alfie Devin, I’m here most of the week, guess we’ll be working together from now on.”

“Tyler,” He replied, doing his best to offer a smile but it was hard to concentrate when Delara adjusted his face forward and tilted his chin back slightly. “Nice to meet you.”

“Alfie here is a hard worker, you’ll be shadowing him tonight as it’s your first shift, he’ll show you the ropes.” Delara explained, talking as she opened several pallets of eye shadow and blush onto the table. “But fair warning, he’ll flirt with everything and anything that walks through those front doors.”

Alfie sighed dramatically. “We work for tips, y’know? Sure, everyone complains about my flirting but when we’re splitting tips at the end of the night no one’s got anything to say about it, I like to contribute to the team and all that...” He waved a dismissive hand. “Trust me, Tyler, it’s not necessary to flirt with the customers but you’ll definitely walk away with more at the end of the night if you do. I’ll point out the big tippers for you, some you’ll flirt with because they’ll get you extra cash, some you’ll flirt with because you’ll want to.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t you listen to everything he tells you. First things first, if you work here you’re part of the family, and you do what makes you comfortable.”

“Thank you-”

“Tilt your head this way a little,” Delara instructed, tipping his chin up again.

“I’ve never done anything like this before.”

By anything he meant all of it. Bartending, that was new but he could learn skills, the way he saw it mixing drinks could only be as complicated as brewing potions- hopefully a lot less complicated, really- and he was very good at that. This though, what was happening right now, was very new. Tyler had never worn make up or glitter or anything like it. His family would never have allowed it and, perhaps, he’d always been a tad shy about it. Even when he wasn’t under his family’s thumb he was usually trying to avoid them, he didn’t want to draw more attention to himself than necessary, decorating himself in any way was asking for trouble... but no one in his family would come here, and anyone related to them who might find him here could never admit it without admitting they were there too, it was relatively safe. Still, this was all very new to him.

“I hope you don’t mind me experimenting a little, it’s your first day, when we get fresh blood with faces like yours I like to see what inspiration strikes. As part of your job here you’ll be expected to decorate your face every shift, you can do your own if that suits you better, or I’m happy to do it- as you get used to it you can give me preferences for colours, patterns and things like that. Sound good?”

Tyler nodded.

It was nice just to hear them talk, there was a natural banter to their conversation, while Tyler mostly stayed quiet as Delara analysed his face and occasionally brought brushes across his cheeks. A few times she wiped it off again, tutting and shaking her head, rolling her eyes when Alfie pulled a face and made the odd suggestion. They told him other things about working there, occasionally asked him questions about his school and what it was like, he answered when he could but otherwise was a little scared of moving too much in case he accidentally messed something up. After some time the conversation died, Alfie wandered off to make coffee and Delara lost herself in the situation at hand. It was strange, she spent a lot of time looking at his face, studying him closely, but it was as though she barely saw him. He wasn’t under scrutiny, she wasn’t looking to gain anything from him, she was just looking because it was necessary. It was a nice thing. Everything was very soft, he liked the way the brushes felt on his skin, the best was the big one she dabbed in powder, it was gentle on his face and occasionally ticklish. When he had to shut his eyes he was nervous, honestly, but he barely felt the touch on his eyelids for the short time it was there. She blew gently over them and it tickled, but he resisted the urge to laugh. After some time Delara stood back, her hands came to rest on her hips and she grinned.

“I’ve got to say, I’m marvellous at this. Come take a look, Alfie!”

He appeared by her side a few seconds later, he was looking at his phone intently but when he spared a glance up in Tyler’s direction he paused, and shortly after broke out in a smile. His phone was otherwise forgotten as he too placed his hands on his hips, he searched Tyler’s face a moment and then gave a nod of approval.

“It suits you, I wouldn’t worry much about making tips.”

“Take a look, see?”

Delara turned his chair around so he was back to properly facing the mirror and Tyler was able to see her progress for the first time. His cheeks were a spectrum of colour, quite literally, a streak of matte colour curved across his cheekbones, starting in a deep red but gradually passing through every colour in the rainbow, finishing up in a bright purple. His eyes were enhanced with a run of red eyeliner, flicking out at the corners of his eyes. Studded against his temples were tiny gold gems, some were the shapes of tiny stars, the glinted in the light when he tipped his head from side to side. The bottom half of his face was left completely alone, all except a tiny red heart that had been painted above the right side of his lips. He’d never seen himself like this. He looked pretty and flamboyant and shamelessly proud.

It made him unbelievably shy.

“You don’t like it?”

“No, I-” Oh Merlin, please don’t get emotional. Tyler inhaled a breath, and tucked his hair behind his ears, sitting forward in the seat to get a closer look before he confirmed, “It’s beautiful, thank you.”

“You’re very welcome, hon, it’s all part of the job.”

“Come on,” Alfie encouraged, clasping a hand on Tyler’s shoulder. “You can pick out which bands you want before we get out there, things tend to pick up pace between eight and nine, it’s when a lot of people around here get off work and stop by, we’ll head out a little early so I can show you around the bar.”

“Ok.”

Tyler stood, trying not to seem as self conscious as he felt.

“Don’t be nervous,” Alfie encouraged, giving him a nudge with his shoulder as he headed back down towards the bar, Tyler in tow. “We look after each other here, you’re in good hands, for tonight you just have to observe and look good- you’ve already got half of that covered so it’ll be a breeze.”

Tyler gave a nod and smiled a little easier, “Alright.”

#[ drabbles ]#a lotta drabbles these dayyysssss #but like Ty's having a whole thing #and I needed to boost his ego a little with his second/third job #alssoooooo my pretty rainbow boy with a sparkly face~~~ huzzah~~~ live your best gay life sweetie~~~

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mippippippi · 5 years

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SQ Supernova III: Artist Interview with RedDove18

Interview with @reddove18 and their work for And we meet at night, and we meet in secret… What is your favorite medium to work with? I'm the most comfortable working my art with traditional media, I'll try a couple of ideas with pencil and once I finally settle for the 'right one' it's time for me to make another choice, to either choose watercolors or ink to make my final piece, sometimes I'll even use both. For the story I was given I decided to only work with Ink for my art, as I felt it would fit the best given the context of the story. I'm actually really proud of how it turned in the end as I feel it's one of my finest works to date. When you are choosing a story do you base your choice on the snippet/summary alone or are you looking for a certain type of story? This is a mix of all that, to be honest. I look through the summaries to see if anything catch my attention, I usually look for deep angsty plots or maybe some not so common AU, it varies. Once I see some that would catch my eye, I read the snippet and if what I read feels right to me I would choose it and hope I get it as I know I would do my best to make a good art piece in the end. Which part of the creative process you enjoy the most? The part where I'm full of stress and feel like crying because I been working non stop to finish my art? lmao okay, no, not that never that hehe. Now for real, I think what I enjoy the most is working on the right idea, reading the story and looking for the bits that inspire me the most, the ones that would make me imagine different scenarios in my head. I would doodle different ideas while listening to some of my fave soundtracks and search for the right references that would make my art fit 'right' for the story, all that and then some. Once everything is done, what I like the most is showing my art to the author I been working for and know how they feel about it. That's the bit I enjoy the most. What was the most challenging thing you faced while doing this particular art? Actually sitting down and start it? It sounds like I'm joking but it's actually my biggest challenge, to start drawing. I have a lot of trouble keeping focus on doing just one thing, I keep getting distracted by literally everything, my mind wanders A LOT ugh. If I'm not in the mood or feel inspired, it can easily go an entire week or more without me even touching my drawings, it's sad and it adds to my stress. Other than that, I think I also have a big challenge with backgrounds and character's faces (making them look as alike as possible), I would work the hardest to do those and give it my best, I would stress really hard if any of those aren't looking good to me, it can feel like a real nightmare sometimes. What would like to share about your art that you think the viewers might have missed? I have no idea, I feel like most people actually 'read' the picture really well and noticed all the little details about it. I'm glad for that, as it means i did a good job with my illustration. Which do you find more difficult doing art for an AU story or Canon one and why? both can be either easy or hard, there's no much difference to me. It would really depend of the level of details I'm given from the story or at least the context around it, and also how much freedom I have to interpret it on my own. I guess just by having a general idea of what the author meant in their story is enough for me to work things. I'll find a way in the end. I have to say though, that I enjoy AU a little bit more because those can bring a new challenge and that's exciting. When do you feel your art is complete? When there's no a single detail left to add. Tell us something about yourself (e.g. something new something old something nobody knows :D ) ? omg i have no idea what to say in here *insert pikachu meme here* ... okay, let's try random stuff; something new? I got a new tattoo on my arm, it looks really nice! Something old? I starter actively reading fanfics since I was like 14-15 yrs old and I don't think I have gone a day since then that I haven't read one. Something nobody knows? When I was in highschool I broke my right hand by hitting a wall, at the moment I didn't know I broked it, it literally took me two weeks to know it was broken and that's because I finally was dragged to the hospital to get it checked because it was still slightly swollen after so long-- surprise! it was broken! and people thought I was doing drugs because they couldn't believe I didn't feel any pain from a broken bone lmao.

#sqsn spotlights: artist interview #sqsn spotlights: And we meet at night and we meet in secret…#swan queen

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rla1994 · 6 years

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Chapter 8, and Happy Valentine’s Day!

I don’t know what to say except that i hope you all had a wonderful Valentine’s Day!

I just wanted to say: In my last chapter, I made a Disney reference. Let’s see if you can find it. (;

I don’t own anything.

Rhadamanthys flew over the icy plains that covered most of the North of the Heavens. He searched around for the familiar blue of his lover. He’d been searching for a few agonizing hours now. He could feel the cold inside him getting worse and worse. If he didn’t find him soon, Kanon would die. He would not be able to handle that. Losing not only his lover, but also his potential bond-mate. His mind would shut down to spare him from the pain. Especially so early in the developing of their bond. Kanon had probably not even noticed it. He had to find him fast. Not just to save him, but if he didn’t find the fallen fast, the demon would not have enough energy to and protect them from the cold, and fly them away. He accelerated his search. In his frantic search, he almost missed the streak of blue among the ice and snow that covered the plains. He descended and landed right next to the angel. “Kanon!” The demon yelled. He quickly ran and knelled next to his lover. He carefully touched him before taking his hand back. He was freezing. He sneaked his arms around the other’s fragile body before standing up and cradling him against his chest. Rhadamanthys extended his wings and took off into the sky, enveloping them in his energy to protected from the cold and the wind. He slowly warmed the ice-cold body in his arms careful not to do it to fast.

The judge’s energy depleted fast and soon he was forced to land in a nearby human city. He used a bit of his power to force Kanon into his girl form and wrapped the sleeping girl’s arms around his neck. They looked like a couple, a boyfriend carrying his exhausted girlfriend back home. Rhadamanthys made his way to a nearby hotel and asked them for a room. Grateful that the receptionist did not ask any questions, he followed the human to a two-persons room. It had an attached bathroom as well as small balcony that offered a beautiful view. Nodding to the employee, the demonic general laid his lover on the queen-sized bed in the centre of the room. He continued to warm her body with his energy. He used that opportunity to observe her. She had shoulder-length wavy blue hair. She had a slim and perfect figure. Her tone was pale, but it could be, and most likely was, due to her still freezing body.

Slowly, her body warmed up. He had left the underworld in the late afternoon, it was now morning again. When she finally woke up, the sun was already high in the sky. She blinked her dark blue eyes open. Her vision was filled with golden worried eyes. The girl sighed and sat up, waving her lover’s hands away. She leaned back against the headboard and waited for the interrogation to begin. “What were you thinking?” And there it was. “You could have died! Had I not found you, who knows what could have happened!” Now that she thought about it. “How did you find me?” She interrupted him. The demon stilled and turned away from her. “Rhadamanthys?” Now it was her turn to be worried. It was not like him to hide things, especially not from her.

He stood up and walked to the windows. His suspicions had been correct: she could not feel the bond yet. Demons had always been more sensible to them. He took a deep breath. “I felt it through our bond.” He explained. By the look on her face, he could tell that she understood exactly what he meant by that. “But I don’t feel anything!” For some reason, she was distressed. She crawled back and nearly fell off the bed. “It’s not complete yet.” She stood up and started panicking. Oh my god. This could not be happening. They could not be forming a bond. It would compromise her plans. “No,no,no,no. We have to stop this.” She shook her head and backed away to the opposite wall when the demon walked towards her. Rhadamanthys frowned. “Why are you so against it? You know we can’t break it nor can we stop it.”

He was standing in front of her now. He grabbed her chin and lifted her head. “What are you so afraid of?” He asked gently. Her eyes were troubled. As they were extremely close, the demon pushed through their bond to read her thoughts. It was risky to do it no matter how strong the bond was. The bond could easily break under the pressure, especially with uncompleted ones. He didn’t push to much, only catching snippets of her thoughts. What he heard was enough though.

He stepped away in shock. “You’re the one who took Aiacos’s memories.” It was his turn to be shocked. How could she do it? They were allies! How could she betray them like this?

Kanon reassumed his male form. He looked his lover in the eyes and could see the immense betrayal the other felt. “Please let me explain. I had no other choice.” The fallen pleaded. He raised his hand and touched the demon. The next moment Kanon was laying on the ground, Rhadamanthys holding him down.

“You betrayed us! You betrayed me!” The demon yelled. “I trusted you! How could you do this? I thought you loved me.” His voice was but a silent breath at the end of his rant. It was like his love for the angel was leaving him. Kanon pushed and rolled them around to be on top. “I had no other choice! He knew too much already! I couldn’t let him leave while he knew that Saga was my twin.” The sea dragon paused to breathe. He spoke calmly. “Saga may have casted me out but his still my brother, my twin. I can let him die. Not if I can do something to stop him.” His voice was shaking. It was the first time he had told someone of his plan. He hadn’t even realized he needed it. Tears began to fall as he went on. “I know that Saga isn’t in his right mind. I believe someone is controlling him. Putting him on trail in front of Zeus just because he wronged me is not the solution. I know it. So please don’t tell anyone and trust me. Just one more time.” Kanon rested his head against his lover's chest. Silence filled the room. Slowly, Rhadamanthys sat them both up, Kanon sitting on his laps. He cradled the younger one against him and ran a hand through his hair. He whispered. “Why didn’t you tell me? You can trust me, you know that. If you want me to trust you, you have to trust me.”

They looked at each other’s eyes. Ocean blue met melted gold. They didn’t know who leaned in first, but the next thing they knew, their lips met. It started in a slow languid kiss before escalating in a passionate and feverish kiss. The demon was pushed back on the ground as their cloths came off one by one, and the high noon sun fell into the night.

Kanon woke up in the middle of the night. His head laid on the demon’s chest, their arms wrapped around them both. They were naked spare for a fin blanket. The fallen stood up and dressed himself. He took a deep breath and summoned the small glass bottle that contained the asphodel petals. He concentrated his energy. He wavered. He couldn’t do it. Of course not, they were bonded. The bond would-. He shook his head. What was he thinking? The bond had nothing to do with it. He just couldn’t bring himself to hurt Rhadamanthys, no matter the way. And taking away their first night, even if it meant taking away what the other knew, he just couldn’t. He turned away. “Guess I know why you couldn’t kill me, Saga. Or did you stop whoever controls your body? I wouldn’t be surprised if you did. After all, you always were the more level-headed one of us two, the smarter one, the better one. Always the one who would think before doing anything. Compared to me, they thought of you like a god, a messenger from Athena even. And yet, you are the one who currently holds their lives in your hands, ready to take them away at the smallest sign of disobedience. And I’m at the head of a world, I who abhorred responsibilities and rules above all else. Here I am, enforcing them. And now, I’m about to commit the cruellest crime in all the worlds, I’m about to kill my twin.” He looked at Rhadamanthys again. “I guess this is the closest to happiness that I get.”

He breathed in deep and closed off his emotions again. He focused back onto his mission. He needed to find a way to prevent Rhadamanthys from telling the others without hurting him. He made the bottle disappear when he got an idea. That was it! He would just prevent him from leaving the room. He gathered his energy and spread it across the room, enveloping it entirely. With Rhadamanthys out of the way, -god, why did it hurt to say that? - he moved on with his plan. He had everything he needed.

The passage way into the Heavens. He looked at his right arm.

The way to end this. He raised the knife he had scaled the highest peak in the Heavens for.

And the most important object, the urn he needed to separated Saga and the one controlling him. He had risked his life for it two days before. He would have died had Rhadamanthys not found him.

He closed his eyes. Yep, he still had enough energy.

He teleported to the entrance of the Heavens. There were not guards. He walked up the hill. Nobody stopped him, nobody saw him. the atmosphere was heavy. It was as if everybody knew something grave was about to happen. Kanon walked through the twelve guardian houses. He stopped in front of the throne room. He could feel Saga inside, waiting for him. He pushed the doors open.

And done! Okay so I know I’m two days late for Valentine’s Day but shhh! And besides, I gave you a nice present, huh? A full Kanon x Rhadamanthys chapter! Oh, and just so you know I will NOT be writing lemon. If someone wants to okay, I can even link it but I, myself will not write it.

Ao3 link below:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17670578/chapters/42027377

#saint seiya #sea dragon kanon #alternate universe #angels #demons #gemini kanon #wyvern rhadamanthys #kanon x radamanthys #fem!kanon #gemini saga

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