#objectively and unequivocally

[jackdaw-and-hattrick]

Hot Take:

Of the Bats, Dick is the best at being liked, Jason is the best at being loved.

[yellow-faerie]

I am not of the belief that there actually is a best minstrel among the elves. Like...music is such a broad and varied art that you may compare Maglor and Daeron, but that would be like comparing the sea and the forest; they both play beautifully and with great skill and inspire their people, but their arts come from different cultures and backgrounds.

And Lúthien has an ethereal nature due to her heritage which makes her music beautiful and powerful, yes, but does that make her a skilled minstrel or a singer with a beautiful natural voice and an inherent connection to the Music and the world that channels it? Could you truly compare her to anyone else?

There are other minstrels, I know, but I find myself thinking how interesting it is that it's such a debate as to which one's the greatest (of course, I do find the arguments interesting and I do really enjoy reading them) when music is something that is very subjective.

Like, an opera singer and a jazz singer use very different techniques to get the sound they want out, and to invoke the emotion they want. If you had a master of opera and a master of jazz, I don't think you could directly compare them - except if you had a preference for one or the other type of music.

And I think (from a Watsonian perspective) the idea of a Greatest Elven Minstrel is very political - it's almost as if to show that this elven side is still better than the other, culturally at least, because their music is better etc. etc.

[criminalcase-confessions]

This is adding to the anon who pointed out how problematic it is to view character suffering through the lens of whether or not they deserved it. The CC fandom has a huge problem with forgetting how bad murder is in the sense that the fandom will hand out the declaration that a character has been redeemed so freely, no matter what horrific, heinous stuff the character did before (Rozetta and Erikah are the biggest examples of this imo). People sometimes don't understand that character actions aren't fractions that cancel each other out. Doing a few good acts does NOT negate and get rid of and wipe away horrible crimes a character committed. Please note that I'm not bashing on Rozetta, Erikah, or whatever other character this applies to. You're allowed to like them! They're interesting characters! But you cannot so easily forget about the staggering amount of blood on various characters' hands because they did a few good things. Redemption is trickier and more complicated than that.

‼️

[inbabylontheywept]

Alright. So. I have a confession to share with you. In middle school, I strongly identified as a libertarian. In my defense, I was 13 and I had autism. Against my defense, I was literate, and capable of using common sense. I confessed this to you willingly, so go easy on me.

One thing about this that I can share with you is that I, as a 13 year old boy, read Atlas Shrugged. I read it as someone very committed to the ideology, who wanted to believe it, who wanted to like it, and there are two things I can share with you about that book from that time period.

The writing is terrible. It has the slowest, most boring, most pretentious prose you could possibly imagine. Calling it glacial would be a compliment. It makes glaciers look like Formula 1. There is no description for the pacing outside of hellish torments. It is like being condemned to watch a dog with an itchy ass wear the Himmalayas away only by scooching. It is like counting the grains of sand on a beach while Alexa reads off random phone numbers. It is like dipping saltines into lukewarm tapwater while listening to white noise in a beige room with no doors. It is like wearing a blindfold and being told to guess what a man is painting by sound alone, but there is no man, there is only a dog licking cold vaseline off a window. Forever. It is all of those things and more.

There is a multipage rant about how affairs are Good and Rational that is so insanely desparate that even middle-school-autist me thought she must have been having an affair while she wrote this. And then I googled it, and the answer was yes, she was. She called her philosophy Objectivism, because she believed, like everyone else in the world, that her ideas and motivations were Pure and Rational and Ojectively Correct, but I still find the name accurate, because it was really written with one Objective in mind, and that was finding a way to never admit that Ayn Rand had ever made a mistake in her life.

I was going to rant more about this but I kind of lost my train of thought. The book fucking sucks. It was propaganda of such remarkably low caliber that it actually helped me move out of those circles. Every time someone talked about liking the book, I'd reply with something along the lines of "Yeah, I especially loved the part where she destroyed the post modernists by unequivocally condemning affairs", and if they agreed with me, they would have lost my respect forever, and if they looked very embarrassed, I could at least acknowledge that they had a soul, albeit small and malformed. I had dozens of people claim that they read the book, and only three or four actually passed the test.

And now, goodnight.

[pukicho]

puki what do you think of the game awards

I saw a lotta people cranky that Astro Bot won GOTY over Wukong. I think if you believe Wukong was robbed of GOTY then you're legitimately a fake gamer. Out of 6 games, Wukong was 6th place in line to win GOTY. It is an objectively, and I mean PURELY objectively worse game than the other candidates, and I'm sick of ugly moron streamers trying to convince their susceptible audience otherwise.

This is Spiderman 2 all over again: the worst game out of a list of games having the loudest, dumbest audience. I liked the game, but it is easily a case of popularity obfuscating proper, unbiased criticism. I mean, look at the People's Choice Award - 3 out of the 5 nominees were fucking anime gatcha games. If that doesn't unequivocally prove that popularity isn't a good gauge for actual quality, then idk what it says.

[gor3-hound]

PLAY DATE — L AND LIGHT

a/n: first death note fic !! been a fan of this series forever, so happy to get to write for it :3 commission for @nexysworld... love u bad fr <3 rbs and comments always appreciated :))) 3.7k words

cw: 18+ content. p in v, double penetration, very mild dub-con, objectification/dollification, toxic relationship, creampie, edging(?), fingering, slightly ooc (moreso light than L)

You're obedient to a fault.

That's a good thing in Light's eyes. He doesn't have time to ponder your feelings. He doesn't particularly care enough to do so. You're pliable. You make it so much easier for him. There isn't an issue of you questioning him, or acting out if he doesn't give you attention. He'd had enough of that with Misa — she had been nothing but a means to an end.

But you?

Light feels as though his every action finds a justification when your eyes meet his. You're so innocent, so sweet. He feels as though if he squeezes tight enough, you'll shatter within his grasp. Sometimes, he feels the overwhelming urge to press down; to make you quiver at his touch. He wonders if, like the porcelain dolls his sister used to collect, his rough handling of you would crack the surface of your smooth, unmarred skin. 

The world is wrong. Light knows this as much as he knows he needs air — you are something to be protected from the unworthy that would like nothing more than to corrupt you. You're weak. He doesn't mean it as an insult, just an unequivocal truth. You need someone to protect you, and he trusted no one else with the task.

He sighs as he checks his Rolex — a simple, silver piece handed down from his father. It wasn’t anything particularly grand; the surface was scratched from years of use, but it was a luxury he'd grown to be rather fond of. The seconds tick down almost painfully slowly as he stares, focusing entirely on the longer hand as he watches it tick by with each passing minute.

Light was uncharacteristically nervous about today. He had no qualms about L finding out he was Kira; he knew he was smarter than the detective. Better than him. He'd find out his name soon enough, he was sure of it. But it wasn't his identity that had his heart racing with each tick of his watch.

L's… suspicions of him had led to a rather unfortunate situation — he wanted to observe you. Light is careful not to give anything away; each word that falls from his mouth is carefully crafted to elicit the reaction he desires. L has come to notice you’re less tactical in your speech, more sincere. You had an innocent demeanour, one that had admittedly attracted L’s curiosity.

L is sure that if you were aware of Light’s true nature, he would be able to draw a confession out of you easily.

“You’re late,” Light says simply as he opens the door for you, a crease forming between his brows as he regards you. His eyes slide up and down your body, taking in your outfit with a critical eye. “This isn’t what we agreed upon. Did you not like the outfit I bought for you?” 

His jaw tenses briefly, a small huff of hair escaping his nose. He shakes his head, briefly glancing at his watch once more before he allows his arm to fall against his side. “It doesn’t matter. You remember what I told you? Don’t speak unless spoken to — Ryuzaki already has his suspicions; I don’t need you making things more difficult for me. Do you understand?”

You nod softly, glancing up at his face through your lashes. Light finds himself having to suppress a shiver at the action, throat bobbing as he swallows thickly, quickly schooling his expression into something more guarded.

“Good. You’ve been so good for me lately. Don’t disappoint me today.” He murmurs, taking your hand to drag you along with him.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

A day passes, and L has already almost entirely forgotten about his initial objective. Sharing a room with you and Light had been a convenience at first — he wanted to be sure he could keep a close eye on the both of you at all times. This was a mistake, and one that he was quickly realising. 

L has never been one for much socialisation, speaking to others only when it is entirely necessary, yet he is immediately able to decipher that you are different. You shrink back at the smallest amount of questioning, eyes wide and doe-like whenever you feel as though you might have said the wrong thing. L is not a stupid man, nor is he impulsive or particularly driven by personal desires.

He was observant to a fault, and his fault appears to come in a pretty package wrapped in silk and lace with Light attached to her arm. Light’s infatuation with you irritates him to no end, even if he understands it. He wants to attach himself to your arm, but Light presents an issue. He’s willing to indulge in the game to a childish degree. One thing L hates more than anything is losing.

That same thought runs through his head as Light finally leaves the room, giving him a brief moment alone with you. “Forgive me,” he begins, regarding you with a small tilt of his head as he gains your attention. “Light seems to dislike you speaking to me. Is there a reason for this?”  

You tense slightly at the question, if only because you know Light would not be happy to find out you were speaking to L without him there to monitor you. “He’s like that, sometimes. He doesn’t let me speak with other guys much.”

The words are a half-truth, but they held honesty, nonetheless. Light was particularly cautious when it came to you being in L’s presence, but he’s always been the more possessive type. 

“I see,” he replies, resting his chin between the space where his two knees connect, his arms wrapped around his calves as he hugs his legs to his chest. He scrutinizes you with an almost childlike curiosity, but there’s a glimmer of something else in his eyes. Something infinitely more dangerous.

“I cannot say I blame him,” he continues after a short moment, humming thoughtfully. “You’re certainly… fragile. With the current state of things, I would have kept a close eye on you, too.”

“I’m capable of looking after myself.” You reply, brows furrowing slightly at his words. His lips pull down slightly at that, his gaze examining you once again. “I did not mean any harm by my words, but I simply must disagree. If Light is shown to be innocent, you are far from safe. You gave up your name easily upon our first meeting, having no certainty that I wasn’t Kira. In the few times you’ve visited, you made no attempt to conceal your ID. It has been caught on security numerous times.”

He pauses, extending his index finger to your identification, slid behind a clear case on the back of your phone, clearly visible to anyone who may pass by. “You are rather clumsy. If anyone in the task force was Kira, you could have died ten times over by now.”

“I didn’t realise.” You admit quietly, reaching out to flip your phone over despite knowing it made no difference. You can feel your cheeks heating in embarrassment.

“You see the best in people. It is an endearing trait, but an entirely stupid one. Perhaps it would be safer for you to stay here. I would hate for your connections to Light and myself to put you in danger.” He doesn’t mention his suspicions of a second Kira, deciding that you would be much more cooperative if he made it appear that his concern of you being close to Light was due to the possibility of his innocence — a theory that he was finding more evidence against with each passing day.

“My instincts rarely lead me astray.” He adds after you remain silent, feet dropping to the floor so he can lean forward, reaching out with a single finger to direct you to meet his gaze. “You should consider what I said. It would be beneficial to have Light close, and I would feel more at peace if you remained, as well.”

Footsteps are heard approaching the door, and L is quick to lean back, turning his attention to the tray of sweets at his side. He hums in thought as he scans through them, paying no mind to Light as he re enters the room. L might be good at showing nothing in his expression, removing a slice of cake from the display as Light’s gaze flicks across the room, but you’ve always been awful at hiding things. He frowns as he takes in your expression, noting instantly the nervous manner in which you chew on your lower lip, unable to meet his gaze. He joins you on the sofa, placing a protective arm around your shoulders to draw you towards him.

“I shouldn’t have to ask, but you behaved while I was gone, right?” He whispers into your ear, words laced with a hint of warning. At your small nod, he scoffs. “You seem nervous. You can’t even handle a single moment without me guiding you, can you?”

Light cannot find it within himself to be surprised at the guilty expression that crosses your face at his words. You look more like a scolded puppy than girl in that moment, a look that he’s very accustomed to. 

“I shouldn’t be surprised,” he huffs, expression turning into one of annoyance. You might not be open about it, but he’s convinced something happened when you were gone. “You’ve always been more face than brains, hmm? A girl like you is pleasant to look at, but there’s clearly not much thinking happening up here, is there?”

He taps your head, and you make a small noise of protest, attempting to press further against his side to placate him. The interaction has clearly gained L’s attention, but neither you nor Light notice in the moment. “I’m sorry, we were only talking.”

Light gives a brief glance in L’s direction then, knowing he should be careful about what he says next. He’d have to play more into the jealous boyfriend role — though that would hardly be difficult with the irritation steadily rising within him. “Is that so? Just talking? Thought I told you that pretty little head should only be worrying about me?”

His words are a warning, a way of interpreting if you let too much slip. You can hear it in his tone as much as you can see it in his gaze, but before you can speak, L cuts you off.

“I was only informing her she should be more careful, seeing as you failed to address how stupid it is that she so openly displays her name in her phone case.” The words appear calm, but there’s a hint of enjoyment in L’s tone. He enjoys being able to get one over on Light, no matter how small of a win it is. Light’s expression darkens, his jaw clenching as he turns his gaze to L. “Right. So you think it’s acceptable to tell my girl how she should be acting? I can look after her myself.”

“Perhaps you’re getting sloppy,” L bites back easily, an amused smile tugging at one corner of his lips. “Your girlfriend could easily be dead by now. It could be luck, I’m sure. The more likely scenario is you didn’t care about her ID because you knew no harm would come to her. How peculiar, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Are you insinuating I’m Kira because I overlooked a simple thing? I don’t keep tabs on her every action.”

L steps in before Light has a chance to continue. “It certainly appears like you do, and I have not known you to make such easily avoidable mistakes in the time we have worked the case together. “

“Guys—” Any attempt you make to diffuse the situation is easily cut off by both men. L shushes you gently at the same time Light snaps, “Quiet!”. You shrink back instantly, expression nervous as Light’s hold on you tightens.

“I don’t like how closely you seem to be examining my relationship, Ryuzaki. Are you sure this is really about uncovering Kira? It seems more like jealousy on my end.” Light hums, a lazy grin growing on his face as he notices L’s expression shifting slightly. “Ah. I’m not wrong, am I? You like her.”

Light grins, peeling you gently away from his side. You’re confused as he guides you by your hips to stand, but you allow him to manoeuvre you without complaint. He pushes you towards L, leaning back in his seat. “Go on then. You seem convinced you can do a better job than me.”

“Light?” You say with wide eyes, stumbling slightly as he pushes you towards L. The other man looks equally surprised, though he doesn’t seem to have any issues with your sudden closeness.

“Shh, baby. You’re not cut out to be thinking all by yourself. Ryuzaki wants to show me how I should be treating you.” He coos, that soft tone he tends to reserve only for you succeeding in turning you pliant almost instantly. You nod softly, taking a few nervous steps in L’s direction. The man makes a soft noise in the back of his throat, tired eyes trailing along your figure. This is what he had wanted — another means of rising above Light, another win for under his belt. But it’s an entirely different thing to be faced with you, your eyes wide and trusting as you stop barely inches away from him.

L reaches out to touch you, and you melt. His hands grasp your hips curiously, pulling you slightly closer, almost experimentally. You let it happen, legs parting without hesitation as he drags your thighs apart with a strong grip. There’s no hint of displeasure on your face, barely even a reaction save for the soft huff of breath that spills past your lips.

“She’s good, isn’t she?” Light hums from his spot on the couch, eyes locked onto the scene in front of him. “She’ll do whatever you tell her to, you know. She takes to training exceptionally well.”

You’re sickeningly sweet, L decides as his hands slide up so they can fiddle with the hem of your pretty lace dress. It’s no wonder he finds himself increasingly infatuated with you. He has always been a fan of sweet things. Deft fingers slide under your dress and drag along your thighs, the coldness of his touch drawing goosebumps to the surface of your skin.

“I am curious.” L admits softly, his eyes leaving your body to glance directly at Light, addressing the other man as if you aren’t even there. “She seems… sensitive. Is there anything she particularly enjoys?”

Light stands then, approaching you from behind. His eyes darken as he watches the shape of L’s hand tracing your skin under your dress, an undeniable heat building in his stomach. “She’s just happy to get the attention. Isn’t that right, doll?”

Before you can respond, Light’s fingers tangle in your hair, forcing you to nod. “See? She just wants someone to look after her.”

Light’s hands join L’s, his fingers grasping the hem of your dress so he can slowly pull it upwards, exposing inch after inch of soft skin. His fingers dip under the waistband of your panties, teasingly dragging the fabric down until they drop to the floor, pooling at your ankles. “She’s prettiest here. Go on, baby, step out of them.”

You step out of them one foot at a time, eyes hazily gazing over your shoulder to meet your boyfriend’s. A cocky grin spreads across his face, his eyes flicking across your face. The smirk only widens as you let out a soft mewl when L directs his attention on your dripping cunt, parting your folds with nimble fingers.

“You’re soft,” L hums to himself, the words appearing more like an observation than a compliment. He thumbs gently over your clit, eyes shifting to take in your reaction to the touch. At the sound of your shaky sigh and the sight of your brows furrowing with pleasure, he repeats the action.

“Don’t you feel pretty like this, baby?” Light purrs, pressing himself against you from behind. The hard line of his arousal is obvious against the curve of your ass, his fingers digging into your hips as he ruts against you with a shaky sigh. “Showing off how perfect you are for me. Ryuzaki is lucky I’m letting him play with my favourite doll, isn’t he, baby?”

“Yeah…” You breathe, head tilting back against Light as L presses the tips of two fingers against your entrance, brushing against you a few times before slowly sinking them into your tight heat. 

“Shh… Just nod, baby. You’re normally better than this. I’m disappointed. Dolls aren’t supposed to speak, are they?” Light chastises lightly, his fingers digging into your soft flesh enough that it borders on painful. You bite your lip, suppressing a soft whimper as you shake your head.

“Good. Good, that’s better. I don’t want you showing me up. You’re usually so much fun to play with.”

“She’s tight.” L murmurs to himself, eyes flicking to Light’s face over your shoulder briefly before his attention returns to your cunt. He prods and pokes at you almost clinically, exploring you before withdrawing his fingers. 

“Imagine how tight she’d be taking both of us.” L groans softly at Light’s words, unable to suppress the soft noise. He was enjoying this far more than he thought he would, the rough fabric of his jeans already tenting obscenely. Light grasps your wrists, gently bringing your hands to the front of L’s jeans. “Help him take them off.”

His tone is soft, laced with that sweetness he always uses when you’re like this. The command registers a few moments later in your mind, your hands working quickly to unzip L’s jeans. You slide them down, swallowing thickly at the sound of fabric rustling behind you.

“I’m feeling… Generous.” Light hums after a moment, gently nudging you forward to straddle L’s lap. “I’ll let you have the first taste, get her ready for us both.”

“How kind.” L responds dryly, but he doesn’t hesitate in fisting his cock a few times to coax it into full hardness. He notches the head of his cock against your entrance with a barely concealed shudder, slowly pressing into you. Light waits until that cute little crease between your brows fades into pleasure before he lifts your hips slightly, allowing him to settle between L’s spread legs and line himself up. He wouldn’t want to break his favourite toy by pushing her too fast, after all.

“Relax.” Light whispers, palm rubbing up and down your back before pressing down on your tailbone, forcing you into more of an arch. He slots into you easily, his head tipping back as a quiet groan builds in his throat. He’s almost tempted to make Ryuzaki a more permanent fixture during your ‘play time’ with how deliciously the other man’s cock rubs against his own. Light’s head drops to the crook of your neck, his breaths coming out in hot pants against your skin as he rocks into you, setting a steady pace alongside L. 

You’re so full it makes you ache, and you find yourself unable to hold in the moans bubbling in your chest as both men rock their hips in tandem, their lengths rubbing against you in a way that has you seeing stars. Light clicks his tongue softly, his fingers sliding up from your hips to your throat, briefly squeezing before they continue their path to your mouth, slipping past your plump lips to press down against your tongue.

“You’re certainly vocal for a toy.” Light admonishes, punctuating his words with a particularly harsh thrust. By the time you notice the small furrow of L’s brows, the man has already decided Light’s actions are a challenge. You don’t have the time to steady yourself before he fucks into you more aggressively, ensuring each one of his thrusts has you whining around your boyfriend’s fingers. He’s determined to make you act against Light’s expectations, to have you making as many pretty noises for him as he can.

“I think she sounds sweet,” L huffs, looking up at you with a heavy-lidded gaze. His hips drag in circular motions as he tries to find your sweet spot, insistent on being the one who makes you cum. A small, proud smile tugs at his lips as you let out a particularly obscene moan, his entire focus honing in on hitting that spot with each thrust. Your moans grow increasingly louder and more garbled as Light presses his fingers further into your mouth, spit pooling past your lips and drooling down your chin as you’re filled repeatedly by both men. 

Your thighs tremble and clench desperately, your walls tightening around both lengths as your peak rapidly approaches. You’re shaking by the time your release rolls over you in waves, slick arousal gushing from you and completely soaking them both. L’s expression is undoubtedly smug as he glances at Light over your shoulder, clearly taking credit for making you feel good.

You can hear an irritated huff from behind you, Light’s thrusts growing sloppy as his own release creeps up on him. From the lazy circles L is drawing with his hips, you can tell he isn’t far behind. Light’s fingers slip past the seal of your lips with an ‘pop’, the wet digits trailing down your cheek before settling on your shoulder. He tightens his grip, using the leverage to hold you still as he ruts into your cunt desperately. He cums first, his cock pulsating as he fills your greedy cunt with his seed. 

Light rides out his orgasm with a few languid strokes, watching L’s face closely. As soon as he sees the first signs of the man’s orgasm approaching, he taps your hips twice. You register the command in an almost dazed manner, standing up on shaky legs.

L whines, his dick kicking helplessly against his stomach as he looks between the two of you. Light only grins, holding your waist in a possessive hold. 

“What? I was hardly going to let you finish inside my girl.” Light coos, voice laced with an inflated sense of pride. “Maybe next time.”

L’s expression twists to one of thinly veiled annoyance, realising it was the plan all along. Fine. He can accept his losses.

Next time, he’ll win.

[hurthermore]

sfw or nsfw!

THE BIMBO AND ALASTOR IS ADORABLE, this leads me into my ask...

metalhead!bimbo!reader or goth!bimbo!reader with al or another hazbin boy. poor girl is literally so dumb but looks fucking cool as shit. dyed hair, tattoos, piercings, cool outfits and makeup but thats.. like.. all shes good for, is being sexy and dumb.

🙏 raaa your works are so lovely !

- 🦇

»»------► 𝙱𝚒𝚖𝚋𝚘 - 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟸 (18+)

▻ 𝙱𝚒𝚖𝚋𝚘 (18+) 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟷 ▻ 𝙱𝚒𝚖𝚋𝚘 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟹 (18+)

Pairing: 𝙰𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛 𝚡 𝙱𝚒𝚖𝚋𝚘 𝙵!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

Word Count: 𝟸.𝟹𝚔

Warnings: 𝙵/𝙼 𝚜𝚖𝚞𝚝, 𝚌𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚜, 𝚜𝚖𝚞𝚝, 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚠𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕, 𝚍𝚘𝚐𝚐𝚢, 𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚑𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝙰𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚍𝚘𝚠

A/N: 𝙰𝙷𝙷𝙷 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜, 𝙸'𝚖 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟸 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙰𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛 𝚡 𝙱𝚒𝚖𝚋𝚘 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚒𝚝; 𝙸 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚊 𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚃.𝚃 𝚜𝚘 𝙸 𝚊𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚒𝚝!

𝚁𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗!

Ever since your deal with Alastor, you had asked him for something new everyday.

“Ya’ know, I’ve always wanted some piercings. Will you pay for it, Alastor? Pleaseeee?” 

“Let’s get some food!”

“I want this.”

“I always wanted some tattoos too, ya’ know?”

Even without the deal, you knew that Alastor would probably gift you all these things anyway; he seemed to always have a soft spot for you, and after he fucked you, forced you a deal to make you unequivocally his, and quite literally told you that you were his partner from now on, you knew you could get him to do pretty much anything you wanted. 

And because of the possibilities of things that you could now attain from Alastor, you had found yourself falling in love with multiple types of styles, and currently, you were quite fixated on the gothic style. Still, you kept your clothing as revealing as possible; it was just more comfortable for you to have little clothing on, and you weren’t about to change that for anyone. Even if Alastor had some comments on how little you wore sometimes.

“Darling, I don’t usually mind the things you wear, but your nipples are quite literally hanging out. So take it off.”

But, you weren’t complaining. Sure, Alastor wasn’t your usual type, and he could be bossy, telling you that some items of clothing were just too revealing, but the powerful ambience that he emitted was fucking sexy; and he had a big cock. And despite him being an old ass cunt compared to you, he treated you in ways that no man had ever treated you; it was refreshing. 

Even now, he was treating you like a gentleman as he made you latch onto his arm whilst you both walked around the city of hell. You had asked him to take you shopping, again. And of course, he dropped what he was doing to escort you around. Wearing a latex skin tight black dress, you made sure to press up extra hard against your boyfriend’s arm; relishing in how hard it was for him to keep himself composed. Ever since your deal with Alastor, you always waited on him to initiate any type of touch as you were aware of his dislike for others approaching him, and you dreaded him rejecting you. So you relished in every touch you could get from him when he let you latch onto his arms whenever he escorted you anywhere.

“Ah!” You yelped as you left Alastor’s side and ran toward a shop window; pressing your whole body against it as you gazed starstruck at a cute, black leathered chained choker. “Al!” You whined his name as he stood behind you. “I want this, get it me? Pretty please?” You sang as you clamped your hands together.

“Go fit it on then, darling.” You could only sing in delight as you jumped into the store, grabbing the object of your desires with Alastor following closely behind you. 

“Al, can you help me?” You asked with a pout as you couldn’t quite get the latch to close around the choker. Alastor only walked up behind you before he softly held the accessory for you, finally latching it on tight around the circumference of your neck.

As you looked in the mirror to see how you looked with it on, you were distracted as Alastor breathed down your neck. Looking up, you flinched when you felt his drool land on your shoulder. “You know darling.” He whispered into your ear as he gripped his claws against the skin of your shoulder. “You’ve been asking for so much recently, and you’ve barely given me a kiss.”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you tried to contemplate what on earth he was getting at. Sure, ever since Alastor and you had sex, you hadn’t really done anything like that since. But it was mainly because you knew he recoiled away from anyone else initiating any type of touch with him; you had been surprised when he had allowed you to drag him into that seat and sit on his lap. All in all, you were waiting on him to initiate. “I didn’t think you would appreciate me just kissing you whenever I wanted… I’ve been waiting on you to make a move.” You whispered, guilt consuming your system. “Sorry.”

He only let his tongue leave the contents of his mouth, pressing it against your choker attired neck before he responded to you. “Darling, you have my permission to touch me whenever you please unless I say so, do you understand?” You could only shiver with a nod as he growled his sentence into your neck. “Still, you’ve been quite a greedy little darling recently, it’s only fair you give me something in return, correct?” He nipped into your shoulder as you rubbed your thighs together.

Oh god, how was this man so hot?

Suddenly, you felt Alastor push you forward with a force you weren’t expecting from him. You stretched your hands out as you braced for impact against a rack of clothes until you fell face first into red silk sheets that were all too familiar to you. Picking your head up, you turned around as you took in the contents of the room.

It was the same room Alastor had fucked you in.

Wait.

That fucker pushed you.

Sitting up, you made your way to the edge of the bed, standing up as Alastor had yet to appear in the room, and you were ready to shout at him for pushing you like that. But as soon as you stood, you felt familiar clawed hands grip into your hips as they dragged you into their owner's lap, your back flushed against their chest. 

Looking back to see your boyfriend’s widened grin, all thoughts of ripping him a new one vanished as he grabbed the back of your choker, causing you to wince in pleasure. His other hand flicked to caress the thick of your thigh as he teased the outline of your lingerie. Your body became hot and flustered instantly. You couldn’t help but hum as you instinctively began to grind yourself into his lap.

“I really do like this dress on you, darling. But I’m not below ripping it into shreds; so take it off. Now.” He groaned into your ear as you kept moving against him. Despite how hot the prospect was of Alastor tearing your clothes off, this dress was limited edition and designer. There was no chance in hell you’d let him rip this one. 

Maybe you could wear something more replaceable tomorrow and see if he’ll rip that off you instead.

“There’s a zip at the back…” You moaned out softly before you felt his hand leave the hold he had on your choker as he was eager to undress you. Leaving you feeling somewhat frustrated as his other hand left your thigh, his fingers slipped the zip downwards, allowing it to naturally fall down to your hips, revealing your bare chest to him before he forced the piece of clothing completely off your body.

His hand returned to your thigh before you felt his thick and heavy cock smack against the inner of your thighs. Looking down, you groaned as his tip was big and so fucking red. You could swear it was pulsing. Clamping your femurs together, you held his phallic organ between your thighs, forcing the Radio Demon behind you to groan.

You leaned your head back onto Alastor’s shoulder before you began thrusting your hips up and down, rubbing your boyfriend’s cock between the plush of your thighs in the process. You could feel the top of his cock slide against the wetness of your clothed cunt as you continued your ministrations.

“Fuck.” You heard Alastor groan as he lifted his own hips up to fuck his cock within the confines of your plush and soft legs, covering his sex in your natural lubricate; making everything feel even more intense. You never thought a thigh fuck could feel so good for you, but the way his sex slid against your folds, hitting your clit everytime he thrusted forward, it made you tremble. But as the pleasure began to build, Alastor spoke, barely whispering against your ear.

“Be a good girl and stand up.”

Despite wanting to continue, you obeyed him. Giving him a few more thrusts before you released his sex, you stood up, and it was then you realised you were still wearing your heeled combat boots. Alastor’s hands removed the lingerie that covered your core, only to grip your hips still; forcing you to stay facing away from him. You couldn’t even ask him what he was doing before he forced you back down, ultimately pushing his cock into you. Letting out a loud cried moan, you couldn’t believe he had just stuffed himself into you like that; forcing you to take his fat cock, filling you to the brim and more. 

“Bounce, darling.” 

You couldn’t help but pant as his cock intruded your walls; he had hardly even prepped you, yet his cock slid in as if it was attuned to your cunt and yours alone. Moaning, you began to repeatedly lift yourself off his lap, only to harshly bounce back into it. The sound of your skin slapping against his clothed lap along with your whimpered cries of his name surrounded the room. Your whimpers choked back as Alastor gripped the back of your choker, pulling your back to flush against his clothed chest again.

Was he really fucking you in his suit?

Your thoughts were quick to leave your mind as he continued to help you bounce onto his lap. Although with the new position he had put you in, the bounces weren’t as high, but his cock went so much deeper. It was immense; how he filled you up perfectly, hitting every crevice that needed to be hit to make you go even more dumb than you already were. 

“You were just made for me, weren’t you, darling?” 

Why the fuck did he have to be so sexy? It was driving you mad. You could only mumble incoherently as you tried to agree with his statement, but his cock only left you in a babbling mess. His smile only tightened as he chuckled at you almost condescendingly as you failed to formulate a single word.

Recoiling in pleasure, you gasped as something cold and slimy wrapped around your clit. Looked down, you could only cry out sensually as you watched his shadow’s mouth sucking your pulsing clitoris. Fuck. Was this technically a threeway now? You didn’t know, but it made you want to cum instantly. You could only thrust your core into his shadows face as Alastor himself fucked your cunt, chasing your own high as one of your hands gripped the head of his shadow, whilst your other one flung itself upwards to grab onto one of Alastors antlers.

Moan after moan, you couldn’t stop crying out in pleasure as Alastor stimulated you in multiple ways. You could feel yourself reaching your high as you squished his shadow’s head between your thighs, thrusting harder and harder against the greedy ministrations he gave your clit. As you felt your orgasm approaching, Alastor pushed you again. Only this time, you were pushed on top of his shadow, forcing his cock to leave you and you inevitably sitting on his shadow's face. 

You sobbed as the shadow continued to lick you, but you felt so fucking empty. To make up for the loss of contact, you began grinding against his shadow before you felt Alastor’s palms rest against your shoulders. Looking up, you could see his eyes blown wide, drool cascading down his lips, and his skin flushed red. He gave you a sinister grin before he forced your entire weight and his to press down against his shadow’s face. 

Crying out, you could feel your tongue pant out of your mouth as the entire situation was too fucking hot. And when Alastor let go of you, his shadow’s hands gripped your thighs still, forcing you to keep your weight against its face. You could only groan as Alastor forced you to lean forward before he slid his heavy sex back into your cunt.

It was too much; too much and too fucking hot. Alastor bending you over his shadow that was sucking the life out of your clit as he fucked into you hard like a rabid man. You swear you were seeing stars, and you could only scream as your thighs shook before your core suddenly came all over his shadow. Hard. Riding through your orgasm with Alastor’s name screaming from your tongue, he only fucked you harder; as if your orgasm had began the starting of his own.

Suddenly, his shadow disappeared, and Alastor gripped your choker again before slamming your face into the floor and forcing your ass in the air as he fucked you at a pace you didn’t think was possible before he stilled into you one last time. You could feel his cock throbbing as his cum squirted into your cunt, causing you to moan along with Alastor’s grunts. After his orgasm ceased, Alastor pulled away from you as he watched his cum slowly leak from your core.

“Next time you want something from me, you’ll have to give me something in return.” He tightened the grip your choker had around your neck. You let out a choked gasp as his other hand began to knead your overstimulated clit again and his fingers pushed his cum back into you. “It can be a kiss, or you can let me cum in this perfect cunt of yours again. Either way, you’re not going to be getting anything for nothing anymore.”

If he was going to fuck you like this every time you wanted something, then you were only going to start asking him for more stuff.

»»------► 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

[comicaurora]

I think some folks forget that, yes, Falst is a very physical character and a Ferin, but he's also *shown that he's incredibly intelligent.* He'd learned enough about magical theory, without being able to cast magic at all, that he came up with a flawed-but-intriguing plan to change his nature using a Life lacrima. He's like those guys from third world countries who build water pumps or working solar power arrays out of trash.

One of my favorite things about writing Falst's dynamic with the party is that he and Erin are unequivocally the team Smart Guys, and Erin 100% knows it and acts accordingly. Falst wants to use his books, Erin has zero objections. Falst points out flaws in Erin's plan, Erin explains his reasoning without dismissing his concerns. Falst guides Alinua and Tess through evading Shrike's hunters. Erin puts together that Dainix's recent magical healing means Falst must've spellcarved a lacrima on the fly.

And it goes the other way too. Erin proposes a risky plan, Falst is the only person on the team who goes along with it without voicing his reservations. Falst doesn't question Erin's Plan A, he just makes his own Plan B.

Falst thinks of himself as a blunt instrument and all of his cunning plans as just common sense and doing whatever it takes to survive, but Erin keeps careful track of his teammates' strengths, and he treats Falst as his academic peer for a reason.

[acti-veg]

For anyone wanting to live a healthy, more ethical and sustainable life in 2025, I would recommend that you consider veganism. I made the switch in January 13 years ago, and can honestly say it is one of the most unequivocally positive decisions I have ever made. It could be for you, too.

Going vegan and advocating for the rights of animals is an act of protest against a corporate system that treats sentient beings as mere objects, commodities to be bought and sold as property. Animal agriculture industries breed animals into unhealthy bodies, exploit them for profit then slaughter them at a tiny fraction of their life expectancy. Most animals are killed when they’re little more than infants.

Adopting a plant-based diet is the single biggest dietary change you can make to reduce your carbon footprint by up to 73%. Eating plant-based requires less land, less water, fewer crops and can be up to 1/3 cheaper. There is a broad scientific consensus that plant-based diets can be perfectly healthy, with organisations like the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics and the NHS in agreement. Those who still think that vegans cannot be healthy in 2025 are denying decades of nutritional research, and must find it hard to explain how committed vegan athletes are competing at the highest levels of sport.

There are significant barriers that prevent some people from adopting a 100% plant-based diet, whether that is because of health issues, a difficult living situation or limited food availability. But veganism is about avoiding animal exploitation as far as is possible and practicable. It’s about doing your best, whatever that looks like. Just honestly ask yourself; if you can be healthy while living a more humane, more sustainable lifestyle, why not give it a try?

[h-sleepingirl]

You Are A Wizard, So Pour Over The Tomes

Hypnosis is magic. It is not just “the closest we can get to magic.” Trance practices in all kinds of forms have served as the basis for mysticism across cultures and human history -- thousands of years. It is not new. It is not western. It did not start with Franz Mesmer or James Braid or Milton Erickson or Wiseguy.

Modern hypnosis stems from a rich human history of fascination and spiritual veneration of the mind’s power. We are practitioners of a comparably new discipline where we can literally change the way that other people experience the world. Their innermost selves are as leverage to us -- putty to us, when we know what we are doing. We can transform others freely. We can give pleasure or pain. We can facilitate experiences that seem to defy reality.

People talk a big game about respecting that power. What they usually mean by that is respecting EACH OTHER. That’s crucial, obviously -- not manipulating, not harming, being a good person.

But what about respecting the discipline itself?

It’s tempting to see what we do as disconnected from the “historical” and “outdated” methods of hypnosis. But we are a part of that history. We are likely hilariously wrong about a lot of things related to trance, hypnosis, the human mind -- what will hypnosis and psychology look like in 100 years? And even as we innovate, we are always building on the techniques and ideas that came before us -- in ways we are often not even aware of. We reinvent; we use ideas from the past unknowingly.

We have a right -- and a responsibility -- to OWN our magic. I am not here to gatekeep and say that this magic is not yours. It IS yours; it’s unequivocally yours. But as a whole we could do more to respect it.

“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” And hypnosis is not even a technology that we UNDERSTAND. The only real reason we DON’T see ourselves as wizards is because there is a huge motivation to legitimize hypnosis as a scientific discipline -- and non-rationalist perspectives are looked down upon in our culture. I’m not anti-science (maybe a little -- tongue in cheek) but I do think that labeling hypnosis as “just psychology” is dishonest about how much we actually objectively know about it -- and does a disservice to the phenomenon itself.

I’m not saying hypnosis is literally metaphysical. But I am saying we practice something very powerful without knowing its nature. There are secrets we have tried to suss out about this magic through history that we have written down -- past and present. We actually have tomes of knowledge, records of past experiments and modern inventors.

In the last couple of years, I’ve started teaching/facilitating “text studies” -- classes where we sit down with an excerpt from a hypnosis book and parse through it as a collaborative group. I desperately want to show people that there is value in just critically reading the resources available to us. The clinical texts -- especially older ones -- are hard to read, like they are almost in a different language. But it is amazing the insights we have come to by tackling them together.

These old texts are not pure truths -- there is a lot we’ve improved on over time. But we can learn a lot by learning what hypnosis was like historically. The entire discipline of hypnosis is extremely susceptible to change -- it is defined SO MUCH by how we view it culturally. I just recently was amazed at re-reading some Erickson where he talks about making his subjects daydream autonomously -- as a primary mode and result of inducing hypnosis. Contrast that with today, where if someone’s mind wanders for even a moment, they feel like they’ve failed. There’s something really important here -- a technique from 50 years ago that tells us something we’ve lost in modern practice.

And there are countless examples of this, of people losing and reinventing methods over and over. As I’ve watched our kinky niche grow over just the past 13 years, I’ve watched ideas phase in, out, and in again -- there is both growth and regression of our collective body of knowledge. That’s the nature of things, especially when we operate partially disconnected from the resources that are available to us.

We CAN be connected to the rich human history of trying to unravel the secrets about our minds, and about this thing that gives us enormous transformative powers -- powers that we take for granted.

You are a wizard -- so pour over the tomes.

Read a book. Read an article. Set aside some time and view yourself with the respect of being someone who can study and suss out a magical text. Take notes, look up words and concepts you don’t know. Or just absorb what you can on a first pass and go back later. Read a chapter or just master a single page. Romanticize the aesthetic of sitting with the scent of paper, or as the technomancer with words appearing on a screen.

Read. Own this art. And bring that respect of this art to the people you share it with. I promise you can do things with hypnosis that you have never thought possible.

------------------

This is a little motivational piece (for you and me!) as I gear up to teach "Analyzing Erickson" at Charmed. It's something I feel really passionately about, and I wanted to share it.

Permanently linked/free on Patreon.

[bloodblanks]

one umbrella cover two [mr. scarletella x reader] — chapter vi.

The man with a red umbrella notices your disappearance.

note: reader is not player (mc).

author’s note: dead dove: do not eat. this fanfiction will contain dark and explicit content, including heavy dub-con, stockholm syndrome, violence, and similar themes.

please read at your own discretion.

<- previous chapter

Find consume object.

He didn’t know how something so simple and mundane had become such a demanding task. All the beings in this dimension, including himself, needed to eat. They did not need to consume much or very often—a piece of meat like the one he had just eaten was enough for him to not feel hungry for a lengthy period.

What consume object?

After he landed in one of the wreckages, he realized that he had no idea what he was looking for. His mind was void of any ideas about what human food could resemble.

Not know.

He stared at the heaps of junk piled up before him, but no matter how long he looked for, he could not find anything that seemed edible. He decided then that what humans consume may not be flesh or meat, but perhaps something else entirely. Humans did not seem to consume furnishment of any sort, because if they did, you could have just eaten the bed.

After much deliberation, he started sifting through the heaps of garbage, picking up all the objects that weren’t either furniture or building material. He made an effort to look for what appeared to be the newer and cleaner items. Despite being human, you may want fresh food, though he wasn’t sure what that entailed.

Object bring return.

Once he had his arms full, he started making his way back. Surely, at least one of the items he picked would be edible for you.

But you weren’t there.

Human gone. Human gone!

The room was completely devoid of life; not a single human in sight. He stared at the empty room in horror.

He had told you not to leave. He had warned you multiple times that it was dangerous out there. With how soft and delicate you were, you were sure to attract many residents your way. You were sure to get yourself harmed. You must be hurt right now. Even worse, you could be dead.

Human dead?

The thought of you being dead made him uneasy. He wanted you. You were his. The idea that someone else could take away what belonged to him was a troublesome one, one that made him feel something akin to fear.

He had never been afraid of anyone or anything. Though there were many other residents here, some of which enjoyed assaulting or murdering others, none of it ever impacted him. The emotion of fear was an emotion only experienced by those weaker; those like the head that the researcher took care of, or the frail humans that broke with the slightest touch.

Me not weak.

Though none of the residents cared to speak about it, they were all aware of his might. He was unequivocally the strongest, most powerful resident of their world. It only made sense; he was the first resident here. He was here before all the others had slowly fallen in, one by one.

Human weak. You weak.

But you weren’t strong like him. You were weak. Not only were you weak, you were also soft—softer than the furred eye creatures, more delicate than the garments the white-dressed woman wore, and prettier than anything he had ever seen. You were personally gifted to him by the raincoat woman, and he’ll be damned if he let anyone else have you.

My.

He needed to find you as soon as possible; the longer you were away from him, the more likely it was for you to get hurt, or worse. He couldn’t let someone else take you away from him. You were his.

Need fast find human.

He dropped the objects in the room—he could get them to you later—and sped through the corridors in search of you. However, with how vast the place was, you could be anywhere. He couldn’t help but feel frustration well up inside him again, both at you for doing something so reckless, but at himself, too, for having let this happen. He should’ve restrained you; he knew the researcher had chains for keeping the humans in place. He could’ve done the same.

Worry.

As he remembered the researcher’s existence, he felt himself tense up with worry. Perhaps the researcher had found you. The silver-haired man primarily kept to himself, so he didn’t know much about him, but he knew the humans that wandered into the researcher’s room never left.

The thought of you being taken by the researcher made a heavy, poisonous feeling swirl in his chest. At the same time, he felt some relief—if you were with the researcher, then it’d be easy to find you. He knew where the researcher’s room was. As long as he made it there before the researcher could hurt you, then his problem would be solved.

He began moving towards the researcher’s room, blinking through the spaces as fast as he could to get there.

During one of his steps, he felt the ground tremble before his feet, eliciting a sinking feeling in his stomach.

World change. Problem. Troubled.

As the world trembled and shook, he had no choice but to stand still, liquid fire coursing through his body as he cursed the situation with the only word he knew.

—

My human. Others cannot have.

Those were the words chanted in his mind as soon as the world settled into place and he was able to search for you again. He passed through walls, corridors, wastelands, even trespassed the dark, rotten seclusions of the world in order to get to you quicker. He made sure to keep an eye out for you during his travels, but you were nowhere in sight, further strengthening his belief that you were with the researcher.

Here.

Finally, he arrived at the researcher’s lair. He stepped through the wall and into the hole leading to the room the man in question dwelled in. Descending the stairs, he took each step with bated breath, hoping that he’d find you there, still in one piece.

Sound. Others here.

He couldn’t make out the words, but he heard people speaking, before the word danger rang out loud and clear in his ears.

Find you.

He entered the room. A concoction of relief and astonishment washed over him in that instance; he hadn’t expected to see you sitting across the sofa from the researcher, the head peacefully resting on your lap.

Human alive. Human alive!

Problem not here, he thought. The sight of you, alive and well, instantly dispelled all his worries. He could relax now.

“Find you,” he stated, more to himself than to you, seeing as you didn’t understand the language.

Your eyes, as mesmerizing as ever, were opened wide with horror. Your bottom lip quivered when you opened your mouth to speak. He was already puzzled by your petrified demeanour—he hadn’t done anything to frighten you—but his confusion rapidly transformed into utter astonishment when a word finally left your mouth.

“Sorry,” you murmured, in a language that was not at all foreign, not at all esoteric to him. You were speaking in his language.

His head snapped towards the researcher.

“You teach language her?” he demanded to know. The ugly feeling he was feeling before now returned in full force, coiling around his insides and dripping with venom.

“Correct,” the researcher replied. Though he couldn’t see any eyes wrapped beneath the worn bandages, he could feel the curiosity in his gaze. The researcher was regarding him with suspicion, and he could understand why. This was far from his usual behaviour—he never took an interest in humans before. The most he did with his usual gifts was consume them; he didn’t need to eat that much, but the gifts were for him. He should have them, be it through consumption or taking care of, like this one.

“Why?” He continued interrogating the other man.

“Fun,” the researcher smiled. “Me adore human.”

Angry. Troubled. Upset.

All three of the emotions that came to mind were just ever so slightly inaccurate in describing how he felt. He definitely was experiencing all of them, but there was something else, too. Something filled with toxins and aimed directly at the researcher.

Not understand. What this?

Though he didn’t interact with the other residents often, he was usually on cordial terms with them. They exchanged a few words during their infrequent meetings and greeted one another amicably. He was never hostile to the others, and they did not attack him either—not that they could, even if they so desired.

Want attack. Not know why. A lot troubled.

He hadn’t ever considered doing so before, but at this moment, he wanted to hurt the researcher. However, doing so was not only irrational but also quite troublesome. The other entity possessed significant power. Not enough to kill him, but enough for him to avoid conflict.

“Human,” his voice was rough and stern, “you cannot have.”

The researcher’s lips curved up into a grin, his face betraying his amusement.

“Why?” he inquired, his interest seemingly piqued by the change in demeanour.

“My human,” he explained. “Me keep.”

“You take care?” The researcher’s amusement dwindled into a faint surprise.

Me take care. Take care human. Take care you.

“Correct,” he confirmed.

“I see.”

The researcher did not speak after that. He merely turned his attention back to you, observing your reactions with intrigue.

With the room falling into silence, you were put in the spotlight, all attention now on you. He could notice you were breathing heavily, meekly looking at him with pleading eyes. What you wanted, he didn’t know.

“Sorry,” you whispered, even quieter than the last time you said it. “Me hungry, find consume object.”

You pointed at a box near the entrance, right next to him. He eyed it with confusion before responding to you.

“This,” he pointed to the item that did not resemble food in the slightest. “You consume?”

“Correct,” you croaked out. You coughed into your arm to clear your throat before speaking again. “Correct. Me consume.”

“I see.” You didn’t seem to understand what he said. You must have not yet learned the language in its entirety.

Problem not here, he thought. Me teach language. He would teach you the language. Not the researcher.

He looked at the silver-haired entity once again with a displeased stare, before turning to you. He reached down to take your food, holding it with one arm as he prepared to pick you up with the other.

“We leave,” he stated, waiting for you to get up and come to him. You didn’t come. He wasn’t sure if it was because you didn’t want to, or if you didn’t understand him. You stayed on the sofa, nervously cradling the head, which appeared to be stirring. He realized it would soon wake up.

“Put down him,” he instructed. He didn’t want more hassle with the head involved. This time, you followed his instructions, gently picking up the head and resting it in the researcher’s lap, careful not to rouse him from his sleep. He wanted you to touch him like that. Not the head.

After putting the head away, you curled up into a ball on the seat, looking terribly afraid of him.

Human not want come?

“Invite come,” he tried again.

“Not understand,” you answered. He was beginning to feel irritated once again; despite you knowing some of the language, it wasn’t enough. Communication was still challenging.

“Me take you,” he declared bluntly this time. Surely, you would understand this.

You most definitely did. Your expression this time was not of incomprehension, but rather the same one you wore when he first entered. Terror.

You meekly shook your head in refusal. He could see the way your chest was nervously heaving up and down, as well as the scintillating glisten of liquid in your eyes. You were close to crying.

Not understand.

Yet again, he failed to understand just what the problem was. He hadn’t hurt you. Why were you about to cry? Just what about him was so ghastly to you? He couldn’t comprehend you in the slightest.

“N-Not want,” you tripped over your own words as you tried to speak. “Want...” You paused in what appeared to be a struggle to find the right word. “Here. Want here.”

Upset.

Why? He just couldn’t understand. He just couldn’t understand why you would want to stay here when you were his. You should be with him. The rotten feeling in his viscera stirred and stirred some more, stabbing through his body and injecting a poison that corroded his veins.

Me take human. Me take you.

For some reason or another, you were afraid of him. He thought maybe you were displeased with his inability to bring you food, or perhaps you had gotten distressed being left alone for so long. It could be something else altogether, but whatever it was, he was determined to change it. He would take good care of you. Now that you learned the language to some extent, he would have a far easier time conveying his intentions to you. He would prove that you had no reason to fear him.

Me take care you.

He stepped towards you, scooping you up in one smooth motion, taking care not to drop your food in the process. You let out a sound of surprise, but made no attempt at further struggle.

He was just about to turn around when the researcher stood up.

“Her head damaged,” the researcher called out. “Need rest. Need liquid.”

“I see,” he replied as he left.

—

Fear was a strange emotion. It had a rapid onset, but was also quick to decline. Throughout your stay here, you had felt fear a multitude of times. While the feeling was the same, the circumstances varied widely.

You had been afraid of the red umbrella man upon your awakening. After you realized he presented no immediate danger, your concerns diminished slightly. You had almost calmed down a bit, fatigued from all the strong emotions coursing through you, when you asked him for food.

You were terrified when you decided to escape. Those minutes with the doorknob in your hand had been some of the most dreadful minutes of your life. Once again, your fright lessened after your safe departure.

Roaming through the myriad of corridors and rooms in this place was a petrifying existence that you never wanted to repeat. It wasn’t so bad after a while, because you had met the crawling man, who very much horrified you at first, but eventually, that discomfort settled too.

You experienced the same when you found the chopped head—whom you later discovered was a man of his own—and again with Mr. Silvair. But both he and the severed head had been astonishingly friendly. Despite your initial reservations, you found yourself warming up to them as they taught you their language.

For some time, you even forgot the grim situation you were in. The scarlet man hadn’t come for you, either, and it had been so long—you didn’t think he was chasing you anymore.

How foolish, you thought. It was a mistake on your part to have gotten so comfortable, so complacent. Because the next thing you knew, the all too familiar sensation returned, your heart freezing in your chest, your body stiffening and the temperature in the room seemingly dropping to a freezing point.

He returned, just like you should have expected. He was looking for you, just like you should have known.

However, you had your excuse ready. You hadn’t left unprepared, though now that the time had come to use it, you suddenly realized how naïve you were to think that this would be enough to spare you.

Your first apology didn’t get any response; he appeared to be more focused on the fact that you knew how to speak the language. You were at least somewhat pleased to find out that you hadn’t been instantly strangled on the spot.

As he conversed with Mr. Silvair, you silently hoped their interaction would last longer—maybe he’d even get distracted and forget about you.

It didn’t happen. Their conversation ended quickly, and all attention was back on you. Thankfully, your excuse seemed to work. He didn’t necessarily seem upset at you for leaving, which you were glad for. However, your relief was short-lived, as he soon told you to leave with him.

You didn’t want to. You didn’t want to go back there, stuck in that room. You wanted to get out of this world and return to your own, and you were just about to understand the language well enough to ask about it.

You feigned ignorance, trying to pretend you didn’t understand the words. You could feel Mr. Silvair’s skeptical gaze, but he said nothing.

You weren’t sure where you got the courage from—perhaps it was because you weren’t alone with him right now—but when the red umbrella man stated bluntly his plans to take you, you tried to protest.

You could have tried fighting him too, when he picked you up, but the feeble words that left your lips were as courageous as you could get. As much as you hated it, you were far too much of a coward to truly put up a fight, in fear of upsetting the red man.

As you dangled midair, your only support being the umbrella man’s hand tightly holding you to his chest, a fleeting, ephemeral thought came to your mind. In your naivety, you wondered if perhaps your monster language instructor would step in and help you in some way or another. Nothing of the sort happened.

—

Before you knew it, you were brought back to your starting point, all the effort you made to leave now down the drain. You were placed on the bed, the box of granola next to you.

On the floor was an assortment of items—magazines, artificial flowers, a purse, a box of candies, and a few packs of beef jerky.

It appeared the red umbrella man had brought back everything that could potentially be edible, and thankfully, he had not entirely been wrong.

But that brought you to the problem at hand.

“Why?” you finally had the right words to inquire about his intentions. Maybe if you knew why he took you, you could negotiate your escape. “Why take me?”

The red umbrella man, who had kept a stoic expression for the past while, suddenly smiled. The corners of his lips tugged up in a most unnerving way, the sight alone causing you to flinch.

“You my,” he replied. “▮▮▮▮ give you me.”

You couldn’t understand the first word of his second sentence, but the rest of it was enough to explain that you were, in some way or another, given to him. You wondered if he would get angry at you for disagreeing with him. The thought made you uneasy, but you had no other choice at this point.

“Wrong,” you hesitantly explained, hoping he wouldn’t have your head for this. “Not give me you.”

“Wrong.” His smile was beginning to falter. At the sight of his changing expression, you quickly realized you were treading on thin ice. It’s probably best I stop disagreeing with him for now, you thought. “Give you me. Me ▮▮▮▮ you.”

You couldn’t comprehend one of the words used, but the sentence alone was enough for your blood to run cold.

“Not ▮▮▮▮ afraid.” He sat down on the bed next to you, a jolt of fright striking through your body. You were about to move away when he placed his hand on your cheek again, causing you to freeze in terror. “Me take care you.”

Not want, you wanted to say, but you held your tongue. Instead, you simply nodded in resignation. Any attempts to disagree with him seemed futile at best, life-ending at worst.

In hindsight, you’d be able to conclude that your passiveness only exacerbated the situation.

In the present, the red umbrella man’s lips twitched, a haunting grin plastered on his face. The next words that left his lips sent your heart plummeting, the organ plunging into the murky depths of the pit that was your stomach.

“You want me.”

next chapter ->

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[dangermousie]

2024 list - cdrama edition

Yes, it's cdrama world so even though December is halfway though, they may drop 10 more dramas I will check out between now and 2025. But if I wait, this will never get done and it can always be updated, so here we go. This has been one of the best cdrama years for me!

This is only going to cover cdramas that aired in 2024; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it’s not on the list. As always, very subjective.

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

61 My Divine Emissary - it’s actually a pretty good drama year when the worst cdrama I’ve checked out this year is merely utterly shrill and brain dead but not horrifyingly offensive to good taste.

60 Are You the One - no you are not. There are objectively worse dramas I've ranked higher but this is here because I am annoyed at the waste of Zhang Wanyi and this drama's popularity and douban rating. I am a petty bitch.

59 Fight for Love - they had wonderful actors and a great premise and utterly wasted it. There might someday be a good drama about a female general torn between a royal and an enemy general but this ain’t it.

58 Peacock in Wonderland - I am a few decades too old for this brain dead fest but I am glad Zhou Jun Wei is not canceled at least.

57 Her Fantastic Adventures - honestly, this, MDE and Revenger are all the same type of subgenre - they aren’t offensive they are just as empty as air. This also suffers from casting an utter dud as ML and a charisma boat as SML. Why?

56 Lady Revenger Returns from the Fire - the main thing I remember from this is that Miles Wei must have stolen the wig maker’s parking spot. That wig is the one that should have gone into the fire.

55 Fox Matchmaker: The Red Moon Pact - it’s so pretty, so full of gorgeous costumes and actors and I enjoyed the first few eps, but ultimately it was like watching colorful paint dry. It was so dull, I couldn’t even hate watch it, and that is more damning than anything.

54 Your Trap/Imprisoned Love - the plot of this mini made no sense but the softcore vibes of sanitized 1990s cinemax were on point!

53 The Unexpected Marriage - cutesy dumb period romcom. Could be worse, not that this is much of a praise.

52 Love’s Rebellion - so twee, so precious, so full of cutesy awful CGI and actors who aren’t bothering. I am not sure why Zhang Linghe and Jing Tian are in this mess that looks like rainbow vomited on a xianxia set.

51 My Wife’s Double Life - her life may be double but her brain is only half.

50 Jade’s Fateful Love - I lost some braincells trying this one, but (a) it’s gorgeous and (b) no transmigration say you? Multiple transmigration in first ep alone! Good for you, makers!

49 Follow My Heart - how do you have Luo Yunxi, Song Yi and Cheng Lei and waste them so utterly? First few eps were nice and then it’s like exercise in how much you can tolerate before you call it quits.

48 The Story of Pearl Girl - almost made me dislike ZLS and LYN and that's a feat. Dull and stupid and pointless from beginning to end.

47 Brocade Odyssey - more like Snooze Novella.

46 Melody of Golden Age - see write up for FMH because it fits here. This is bland with a side of bland.

45 The Legend of Taotie - an unequivocally bad drama but the look is such a nostalgia trip and I had fun.

44 Sword and Fairy 4 - it’s kinda a mess but I loved the actors and some of the plots and you can do worse.

43 Dawn Amidst Hidden Clouds - I enjoy watching Chang Huasen as a ML but the rest is eminently forgettable.

42 Blossoms in Adversity - dumb as a set of particularly dumb bricks and ML I don’t think could act if his life depended on it, but it was strangely addictive and I watched it often before better dramas. It’s just a genuinely good time somehow!

41 Judge Dee - it’s not you it’s me in action. It’s smart and gorgeous and well acted, I just don’t do procedurals.

40 The Substitute Princess’ Love - it’s like some of those trashy web novels I enjoy. It was clearly cut, its budget was equivalent to loose change found in the pockets of makers of Fox Spirit Matchmaker, but it was a surprisingly fun watch, though I enjoyed the first half better than the second. Also as a drama old, it was a fun blast from the past seeing Dylan Kuo (if you have never watched the old twdrama The Outsiders, what are you even doing with your life?)

39 Rise from the Ashes - a wacky as hell mini where reborn FL wreaks revenge with help of her fake uncle as they carry on as some sort of Borgia/Phillip II of Spain fame hybrid. If you don’t need to use your brain, you could have a worse time.

38 The Legend of Heroes - it suffered from me seeing other versions of this tale before that I liked more and not loving how dark looking it is but that cast is A+ and Wang Hongyi was a revelation as Yang Kang.

37 Beauty Strategy - a mini of what a few years ago would have been a proper angsty drama of palace scheming enemies while lovers, powerless emperor etc etc. Honestly, I loved it.

36 Lovesickness - this year’s gender-reversed Ancient Love Song, not as artistic or good but still a good time about a woman traveling back in time and falling for a powerful but doomed duke.

35 Fragments of Kylin - demon slayer falls for a demon; this one came out of nowhere and didn’t have much of a budget but is surprisingly lovely.

34 Love of Nirvana - the good parts are vvvvv good and points for making the emperor the villain, but it almost never emotionally grabbed me, and a lot of time was spent on narratives I had no interest in.

33 Enslaved by Love - the only reason it’s not the most fucked up drama on this list is because Shadow Sect, Palace Shadows and Burning Flames exist. The ML is toxic enough to be banned by the Geneva convention but FL does get some of her own back and also if you ever wanted to see blindness-curing sex, boy do I have a drama for you!

32 The Princess Royal/The Grand Princess - I am in the minority of finding this drama very mid. The acting was fine (except for former eunuch dude), the writing was fine, but I never really got invested alas. I don’t even know why. I think it’s just not my type of narrative; there was no intensity.

31 Secrets of the Shadow Sect - head of sect lady and her very very subby bodyguard. What’s not to love?

30 Palace Shadows: Between Two Princes - ML pretends to be his own twin, bdsm and sluttiness ensues. I cannot even explain how wild this drama is but the acting is on point and way way fun!

29 Dashing Youth - I had no expectations of this drama (was either indifferent to or disliked everyone in the cast, wuxia and wuxia-adjacent is rarely my genre, the number of characters is huge) but I loved how under its bright colors, it eventually gets very dark (it’s quite old school that way) and somehow I am invested in everyone in the huge cast. This being a prequel to The Blood of Youth makes us know the fates of many of the characters and this adds the air of tragic inevitability to it all.)

28 The Last Immortal - a surprisingly sweet and touching xianxia that works largely because Zhao Lusi and Wang Anyu are so so so so solid separately and together.

27 Burning Flames - the most gonzo drama on this list. I love it for committing to insanity as it should (if you pick insane source material, commit.) Humans taking on the worst Gods since Olympus, fur and chains, sentient crystal FL, ML who goes from Crown Prince to mine slave to rebel leader, bare chests and fur, demon elves, a villain that leaches color from the world - this drama has everything and I loved its unhinged glory.

26 Lost You Forever 2 - it would have been higher except it fell apart in the last third so badly I am still wondering how the makers could misunderstand their own characters and their own narratives so badly. The first season was a masterpiece. This is a hot mess.

25 Fateful Love - this was released after years in the dungeon and feels old school in the best way. It's what reading one of those OP FL web novels feels like, and the OTP is shockingly competent and adult. I loved that.

24 Love Game In Eastern Fantasy - excellent start, mid middle, and a terrible last third but I cannot have truly hard feelings since before it fell off, it really was fun.

23 Love in a Dream - it's a mini that has the most gorgeous cinematography I've seen all year except for Fangs of Fortune and Eternal Brotherhood. I loved the vibes and the story (though of course it suffered from mini running time constraints) and its feeling of tragic love and lost time.

22 Different Princess - a ridiculous amount of fun and ship about an author falling through to her own novel and falling for the villain.

21 Kill Me Love Me - the story is a mess and a half but the OTP gave me some incredible incredible scenes, and Wu Jinyan, Liu Xueyi and Baron Chen are gorgeous and acting their hearts out, plus the whump mmmm.

20 Meet You at the Blossom - this is a Thai/Taiwan/China coproduction so I am including it. It's my list! An uncensored BL adaptation with delicious dysfunction, sunshine x murder boy, angst, shippiness, groveling and wigs that are surprisingly decent for the budget!

19 Sword and Fairy 6 - I love this tale; the young OTP (a whale weapon and a clone of her trigger? More wholesome than you think) who are so ride or die for each other, the other amazing characters (sect leader who has to live as a man and her “twin” who is an ancient trapped spirit, a wolf demon, etc…) It’s just genuinely good and proof that targeted to younger audience doesn’t have to be bad.

18 In Blossom - sure, we all know JJY can’t act, but the narrative was so fun and the visuals were so gorgeous and Liu Xueyi so gorgeous and magnetic in his first proper Male Lead role, it was all worth it. I liked the first half when they were still cautious of each other more than the second but this is just a good time!

17 Snowy Night Timeless Love - a classic, tragic, romantic wuxia the way "they don't make it any more" only they did. Just lovely.

16 The Rise of Ning - such a pleasant, easy slice of period life with a side of revenge and fakecest (but only a teeny side.) Secondary characters are not particularly engaging and the plot suffers from being limited to 40 eps, but the main OTP is so enjoyable and Ren Min and Zhang Wanyi are doing such nuanced, lovely job that I can't even complain.

15 Hard to Find - my second favorite mini on the list, this is an aesthetic feast. The doomed couple from enemy kingdoms, the vengeance, the twists - if ever a mini deserved to be a proper drama, this would be it. But alas, if it was they’d probably not let it.

14 The Double - unhinged web novel vibe done so perfectly in the inimitable Yu Zheng style. The leads were so good even the amazing villains didn’t truly steal the show. Like with a lot of cdramas, it lost a lot of steam in second half for me, but still a great watch.

13 Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty 2 - I never like procedurals. Somehow both seasons of this show are the sole exception. It is so gorgeous, so impeccably acted, with such great characters. I cannot wait for s3.

12 Love in the Desert - a mini drama in story but with a proper budget and run time, this is such gorgeous sensual fun with a great main OTP, a truly incredible secondary OTP and some beautiful visuals.

11 Fortune Writer - the best mini this year and better than most “proper” cdramas (Douban raters agree), this tale of villains in love fighting the narrative has a lot to say about writing cliches and writing conventions. I love how clever it is and how it actually made me care for the characters.

10 Tender Light - except for that ending, this was in the running for my favorite 2024 cdrama. The writers’ lack of ability to commit and carry through pushed it lower but otherwise it’s a genuine masterpiece. The acting, the chemistry, the looping narrative, what it has to say about abuse and complicity of society and blazing your own moral path is something else.

9 Derailment - who knew a little quasi scifi modern would be this high but this one is amazing. If you watch one modern this year, make it this one. Our FL is a rich girl a little in the future who somehow wakes up in a different timeline a few years back in the body of that universe’s version of her (who is poor and has been missing) and her one connection is a young man who was in love with that universe’s version of her. I don’t want to say more so as not to spoil because the twists are twisty but this is EVERYTHING and also addresses transmigration, what it means to love, what is ethical etc etc. And that OTP!

8 Will Love in Spring - this is a year of miracles because I don't just have one modern among my favorites, I have a bunch. This is a gorgeous story about love and healing and awkward, scarred emotionally and physically people feeling if their odd angles and prickly flaws actually fit and working towards a future with fits and starts and it's just so chemistry driven, so tender, so gorgeous.

7 Snowfall - a fever dream of a vampire narrative set in an alternate universe of the Republican era, it’s gorgeous, passionate, hella queer and just like watching the most amazing fanfic come to life.

6 Heroes - a complete masterpiece about three men about to be on the scrapheap of history in the Qing Dynasty about to fall (a constable devoted to obsolete norms, who spent his whole life studying for the imperial exam which got canceled, the world’s best swordsman in the era of guns, and a former imperial guard who emerges from prison into a different world) whose stories intersect as they search for treasure and the women and other people in their lives. This is smart, impeccably acted, filmed in a stunning way, bleak and funny at once and - I don’t use the term masterpiece often but I will use it here.

4 (tie) Blossom - a romantic fever dream, with gorgeous damaged destined lovers. The director is the person who made A Familiar Stranger and Butterflied Lover into amazingness on a short run time and no budget, so when he actually has a proper run time and a budget - oh boy - it's romantic and beautiful and intense, a drama as opera.

4 (tie) The Legend of Shen Li - I am often indifferent to xianxia that suffers from too much CGI, hella immaturity and not enough stakes. Shen Li is everything. It’s gorgeously filmed, it’s adult, it gives the story time to breathe and centers it on characters and relationships. And the OTP is everything you can ever dream of - it reunites Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin, totally healing those Princess Agents wounds - their chemistry is still utter fire but the narrative supports them every step of the way.

3 Eternal Brotherhood - if JoL2/FoF did not come out this year, this would be my favorite cdrama of the year. It’s clearly a passion project with a small budget but this complex and grim tale of three rather different sworn brothers in a world at war is gorgeous, smart, well acted, dark and inspiring at once. There are shots that take my breath away, the love stories are amazing, the pace is perfect, and ohhh our complex mainsssssss.

1 (tie) Joy of Life 2 - (almost) nothing can beat this masterpiece. The first season was perfect and somehow the second is even more perfect. It’s smart, it’s funny, it’s heartbreaking, the cast is still impeccable and Zhang Ruoyun still gives a completely jawdropping performance as the focus of all the madness Fan Xian. If you watch only one cdrama this year, make it this one; well, this and Fangs of Fortune.

1 (tie) Fangs of Fortune - this is an emotional and visual feast, with such incredible characters, interesting explorations of fantasy and mortality and morality and what makes life worth living. It made awful actors good and mid actors amazing (and amazing ones extra amazing.) It is also the most stunning drama I've ever watched as well as throwing me back into what it's like to be immersed into an amazing fantasy book as a kid and the characters and the relationships and the themes sing to me. A miracle.

FAVORITE DRAMA

Fangs of Fortune - I have rarely seen a drama that speaks to me so personally, but it is also narratively perfect, emotionally devastating, with impeccable acting, complex characters and visuals that are beyond stunning.

Joy of Life 2 - there is not one second I forwarded, not one unnecessary scene, not one weak link character. It’s a smart, fierce masterpiece.

Eternal Brotherhood is a runner up - it came out of nowhere and owned my whole heart. It’s the sole other cdrama this year where I did not ff a second.

WORST DRAMA

My Divine Emissary may have been the lowest ranked drama on my list but honestly, a drama with a tiny budget and a bunch of nobodies does not deserve to be listed as the Worst. What does? Fox Spirit Matchmaker - a huge budget, fancy stars etc etc and yet it's a completely and utterly unwatchable mess. To make something this thoroughly dull is a genuine feat. I cannot think of a drama that insults its viewer more not just this year but any recent year.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Fan Xian (Zhang Ruoyun), Joy of Life 2 - how could it ever be anyone but smart, irreverent, fierce, broken, idealistic, funny Fan Xian. The man who fights against the horrors of the universe, who remains human while being so larger than life. This character is everything.

Or Zhu Yun (Hou Minghao), an ancient, irreverent, vivid, borken demon who wants to die even as he might finally find a reason to live in Fangs of Fortune.

Runner up: Zhou Luo (Zhang Xincheng), Tender Light - idealistic loner who refuses to compromise his principles even as it would be easier to, even as it destroys his life, ZXC has always been a solid actor but here he is beyond.

Alternatively, Zichuan Xiu (Yang Xuwen), Eternal Brotherhood - only way to describe Xiu is “trauma sunshine.” He’s funny, he’s irrevocably fucked up, he is magnetic and intense and he fights for his hopeless ideals and he breaks and he keeps going.

or Xing Zhi (Lin Gengxin), the lonely ancient god in Shen Li discovering the pleasure of life for the first time in aeons.

or Zhuo Yichen (Fangs of Fortune) - a traumatized idealist who goes through so much hell but retains his heart and his core of steel even as he grows up about complexities of the world and the human heart.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Shen Li (Zhao Liying), The Legend of Shen Li - so fierce, so certain, so alive. She is a goddess but ZLY made her feel so real.

Runner up: Nan Ya (Tong Yao), Tender Light - an abuse victim who keeps trying to find a way out, she’s strong and damaged and complex and honestly, one of the best performances this year.

Alternatively, Jiang Xiao Yuan (Liu Haocun), Derailment - she makes a character that in other hands would be boring or trite, someone I want to reach through to the screen and protect and love.

Or Mi Lan (Ouyang Nana), Snowfall - a tiny, suicidal, abused, seemingly helpless blind girl who decides she needs to protect a deadly ancient vampire as her reason for living and she is unstoppable, fierce and a force of nature in her goal.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

99% of the denizens of the town in Tender Light - selfish every day denizens monstrous because of their very everydayness - they watch abuse and choose to blame the victim and gossip and enjoy the view. I hated them all.

BEST BAD GUY

Li Lun (Fangs of Fortune) - with his glorious mane, equally glorious eventual redemption, and incredibly dramatic attitude to a bad breakup, that was a feast.

The Emperor (Joy of Life 2) - a magnetic monster, smartest and the most ruthless character in any scene - Chen Dao Ming gives an insane performance.

Wang Jia Luo (Heroes) - a revolutionary for conservatism, a young man with brains and ideals who gets destroyed by them, who out-Javerts Javert, his descent into villainy and inability to live in the modern complex world, is one of the most compelling and tragic arcs of the drama.

Shen Yurong (The Double) - both repellent and somehow sympathetic, it takes skill to make me feel for a man who tried to bury his wife alive in ep 1. The performance of the whole drama for me.

City Lord (Eternal Brotherhood) - an utterly vile toad of a man, with nothing truly human and yet hiding it under weak and caring facade. I need him taken out.

"HAROLD, THEY ARE LESBIANS" AWARD

Wen Xiao x Pei Sijing, Fangs of Fortune - Duh.

"HOW DID CENSORS NAP THROUGH THIS" AWARD

Vamp Daddy and Loser Li in Snowfall and the entirety of Fangs of Fortune.

MALE LEAD MOST LIKELY TO BE BROUGHT HOME TO MOTHER

No, thank you! The few modern ones she'd not approve of (a mortician with issues? A teenager? A man who had his memories rearranged?) and the period ones are no go since few moms would be keen on wild-eyed, bloodied sons in law however hot and long haired they may be.

FAVORITE SHIP

Dou Zhao x Song Mo, Blossom - one of the most perfectly in sync couples out there, smart, competent, different kinds of damaged, get each other before they love or even trust each other. Your OTP could never. Unless your OTP is them.

Fan Xian x Lin Wan'er, Joy of Life 2 - she is his peace and his haven and the place his busy mind can rest, he is her safety and happiness and ability to live and not exist. They are everything to me.

Shen Li x Xing Zhi, The Legend of Shen Li - the chemistry, the yearning, the slow inevitable collapse into admittance, the way he protects the world and she protects him, the way they dance around each other, her being the aggressor, his surrender to forbidden emotion, their utter mutual belief in each other’s competence. They are everything to me.

Whatever the throuple (with sides?) thing was going on in Fangs of Fortune - I've raved enough about it elsewhere but that was insane in its intensity and gorgeousness and emotion and narrative arcs.

Runner up: the OTP in Derailment - those two went through some mind and soul breaking stuff and made it out.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Hands down Ruo Wen x Ge Xinwei, Love in the Desert. An amoral, magnetic bandit leader and a princess gone wild on spring break stole the drama utterly. His unhinged energy was so matched by her sfl but with an appropriate target fixation. They made me swoon, laugh and cry.

Amusingly enough, Fu Xin Bo is the male actor in two - the crossdressing sect leader x wolf demon OTP in Sword and Fairy 6, and First Prince x Eldest Princess in Joy of Life 2. What can I say, man knows how to pick them. Those OTPs are both utterly adorable!

If we are talking about an OTP where it’s not that it’s not the main but it’s not a ship-centric drama so they don’t get much time, then we have Si Yilin x Ka Dan, Eternal Brotherhood - they are both such desperately good people in a mad world, tender with each other despite surrounding cruelty and Shen Zhiheng x Mi Lan, Snowfall - a vampire age gap romance done well, the ancient gentleman vampire and the tiny fierce blind girl who decides to protect him.

And of course Qing Geng x Fei, Fangs of Fortune - Ai Mi and Zuo Ye breaking my heart yet AGAIN.

NOTP

The couple in Fox Spirit Matchmaker - such pretty people, and so bland and boring and pointless together. It was kinda amazing.

HOTTEST SCENE

Ka Dan and Si Yilin (Eternal Brotherhood), the primmest, properest OTP of them all, consummate their love without any marriage, but with plenty of golden light.

FAVORITE SCENE

God, so many good scenes this year so far - Fan Xian watching the death of the old censor and the aftermath, in JoL2; his confrontation with Wan'er after she finds out about the truth behind her brother’s death, the scene where he poisons Second Prince, his scene with the registrar. Xiu giving up his future to protect the surrendered soldiers only to come back and find Di Lin executed them all in EB, the scene in Ning’s bedroom when he tells her how he really feels because she can’t hear, the very end of that season and Di Lin striding into the light, Ka Dan and SYL’s letters to each other. XZ literally defying heaven’s lightning and all their longing in Shen Li. The last scene of LYN and his girl in Heroes, the way Heroes always intercuts the golden past of the guard and princess and the dreary present (especially when we see her bicycle spin out of control back when and her husband lose it in the present and this time there is nobody to catch her), the big reveal in Derailment and the hairwashing scene, Mi Lan touching Vamp Daddy’s face as their thing in Snowfall, and the cage stuff, the aborted sex scene in Will Love in Spring, so many scenes in Fangs of Fortune but especially the aftermath on the stairs between ZYC and ZYZ post the latter's loss of control, the final sacrifice,Li Lun x ZYC x ZYZ battle against the bad guy, the whole plague demon storyline, ZYC becoming a demon, ZYZ having to slap himself to nerve himself to walk to his death, everything. And we haven't gotten to it yet, but the scene in all Blossom previews where Song Mo falls to his knees in front of Dou Zhao from a dead run is imprinted in me.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Shen Zhiheng (Gao Weiguang), Snowfall - Vamp Daddy made me hormonal in a way I haven’t felt for a cdrama lead since the heady days of Darren Wang in The Wolf. Those outfits, that hair, that height, that restraint, that lack of restraint. THE CHAINS

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Liu Duan Duan as Second Prince in Joy of Life 2 - what a performance! Unhinged, magnetic, pitiable, terrifying and always mesmerizing. The Second Prince is Fan Xian’s foil and a worthy one. LDD is always a great actor, and with a role that actually gives him something to sink his teeth into - wow!

Runner up - Baron Chen in Kill Me Love Me. It's the year of unhinged royal princes, I guess.

BEST COSTUMES AND WIGS

Fangs of Fortune - the whole design is exquisite!

MOST EXTRA OUTFIT

Burning Flames - this drama was a feat of extraness and that meant costumes but even among those, costumes worn by Peter Ho's human king and Jeremy Tsui's psychotic god stood out.

FAVORITE SECONDARY ML

Wu Shan, Blossom - this man is a literal sunshine angel.

MOST BLATANT INNUENDO MOMENT

The Double - As our FL fondles her wet flower petals in the bath, our ML wields and swings his giant sword shirtless in the rain. That was eye popping.

FAVORITE 2024 CDRAMA SONG

This Chen Xueran song from Eternal Brotherhood:

MVP OF THE YEAR

Liu Xueyi (In Blossom, Kill Me Love Me) - this is the year LXY finally achieved leading man status and he was spectacular in both of his outings - so very different in both but equally magnetic in either even if the dramas themselves had flaws. I have a new fave!

ACTING SURPRISE

Ouyang Nana - Li Muge performs miracles. He made Yang Chaoye be good in Heroes (2022) and now Nana, who was always as wooden as a post, is a revelation as blind abused girl who becomes a vampire in Snowfall.

Hou Minghao - I've always found HMH a stunningly beautiful man and a thoroughly bland actor. But he was surprisingly solid in Dashing Youth and utterly blew me away in Fangs of Fortune. Like jaw on the floor level blown away.

Wang Hongyi - found him bland as paint in LYF (both seasons) but his Yang Kang in Condor Heroes blew me away and then he repeated that feat as a very different character in a very different drama (Snowy Night.) Consider me a new fan.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Joy of Life 2 of course - I need to see the looming confrontation between Fan Xian and the emperor, though not sure how that will pass censorship.

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

FF button has cured me of finding contenders for this category, but perhaps cutting out a lot of terrible acting and lack of stage presence of “not yet a eunuch” dude in The Princess Royal, would have improved it.

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Lost You Forever 2 - there were other issues with it, but all the cuts couldn’t have helped with coherency.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Same as last year - the emperor cannot be irredeemable. WTF, China, you are a communist country! Though they are nibbling at the edges this year. Also fake feminism - I am all for girl power but not when it's ridiculously anachronistic for the period with no explanation at all. And finally NO MORE TRADE DRAMAS PLS PLS PLS

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Men (and women) knowingly fighting for a doomed cause because otherwise they’d cease to be who they are. Or if we are being shallow all the beautiful men in chains.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Lost Your Forever 2 - the first season was my favorite drama of 2023 but LYF2 just fell apart so so so badly, it was almost fascinating. It totally eviscerated the characters and the meanings of the story.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

So many of top dramas on my list are not dramas that were on my radar at all before airing - Heroes, Eternal Brotherhood, Fangs of Fortune, Will Love in Spring and Snowfall were not anything I anticipated, let alone I realized how much I’d love them. Same for Derailment and Tender Light. This has been a year of surprises.

2024 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

I have honestly watched everything I wanted.

BEST NON-2024 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2024

Lighter and Princess, hands down. I rarely even enjoy moderns and this one made it into my Top 5 cdrama of all time. This is how you make a love story. This is literally perfect. PERFECT.

Runner up: Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty - I, a procedural and mystery hater (especially when there is close to no romance) somehow fell like a ton of bricks for this gorgeous, smart, impeccably acted show.

MOST ANTICIPATED

A Dream Within a Dream looks like Fortune Writer with proper length and budget, Legend of the Female General looks epic and I love the novel, Divine Tree with Deng Wei is all my fave tropes, Veil of Shadows is peak Guo Jingming, and so many more.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Ghosts

Astral projection - The process of separating the astral body, the body’s spirit or consciousness, from the physical body. It’s an out-of-body experience. Deriving from the Latin astralis, astral projection can also be called astral travel, because it’s believed the spirit traverses the entire universe. Spiritualists use astral projection to communicate with those beyond the earthly realm.

Bogey - another word for evil spirit. The word probably traces back to the Middle English bugge, “frightening specter”.

Boggart - Related to bogey and bugge, boggarts can haunt domestic or geographic areas. Boggarts are always mean.

Channeling - In spiritualism, it is communicating with the paranormal in a state of trance or meditation. Spiritualists describe the action as “plugging into a switchboard” or a “grid frequency” to receive information from the ‘other side.’

Clairvoyance - Any ability to perceive psychic phenomena. In spiritualism, clair (“clear”) can be prefixed before any of the other four ‘normal’ senses, resulting in terminology that applies to a medium’s super-sensitive perception of a spirit: clairaudience is “clear hearing,” clairsentience “clear feeling,” clairalience “clear smelling,” and clairgustance “clear tasting.”

Cold spots - In the paranormal world, cold spots are indications of spirit activity. They aren’t sensed by everyone; the ones that do feel the chill are said to be more sensitive to the preternatural.

Doppelgänger - In the ghostly realm, a doppelgänger is an exceptional spirit, possessing the unique ability to appear in more than one place at once. This talent is reflected in its German name, which means “double goer” or “double walker.” Usually, a person’s doppelgänger appears as a sign of something bad to come, or as an omen of the viewer’s impending death. The poet Percy Bysshe Shelley is said to have seen his doppelgänger a week before he drowned.

Ectoplasm - Adopting a biological term originating in the late 1800s, spiritualists define ectoplasm as a cloudy mist, “usually a milky white vaporous color,” that halos before an apparition appears. From Greek ecto (“outside”) and plasma (“something developed or created”), this mystical mist is like a protective skin through which the specter shimmers into view.

Eidolon - In Ancient Greece, eidolons were spirits of the dead who possessed the living. Not always menacing, they would inhabit a living individual to convey a message, carry out an action for one of the gods, or tie up loose ends leftover after they died.

Kobold - Meaning “hut goblins,” kobolds can be kind or conniving depending on their mood. They’re also entirely changeable in appearance, with the option to materialize in human, animal, or object form.

Lemures - (also called larvae) The unequivocally bad ghosts of Ancient Rome, whose violent tempers and deeds in life mean eternal punishment to roam the limbo between worlds. To keep lemures at bay, Romans would fling spit-soaked black beans into the night shouting, “Be gone, you specters of the house!”

Manes - Romans believed people’s souls were demons, which were categorized in the afterlife. Good souls were called lares, bad souls lemures, and the in-betweeners were the manes. These are “the thin or unsubstantial” souls.

Necromancy - Whether you converse with spirits the old-fashioned way or by exchanging telepathic thought-waves, communicating with the deceased is an example of necromancy. The word traces back to the Ancient Greek nekromanteia, where nekros meant “dead body” and manteia “divination” or “oracle.” In effect, a necromancer is divining or discovering information from the deceased about the past, the future, or the world beyond.

Poltergeist - In German, poltergeist means “noisy ghost,” the ‘noise” in question produced by the sounds objects make when hurled and smashed against walls, ceilings, other objects, and screaming human beings.

Psychokinesis - Another paranormal power is psychokinesis or telekinesis, where objects are moved without physical contact with them. In Greek, kinesis means “movement” or “motion.” The psycho– prefix highlights the “mental,” “spirit,” or “unconscious” force behind the movement (movement with the mind), while tele- references the “distance” between the mover and the thing moved (movement without being close to or touching the object).

Revenant - One that returns after death or a long absence.

Vortex - Just as a natural vortex is a whirling mass of water, fire, or air, a paranormal vortex is a spinning swirl. But it’s composed of supernatural elements, which can apparently only be captured in photographs—they appear as refractions or corkscrews of light.

Wraith - In Scottish lore, doppelgängers or fetches were called wraiths. The wraith can be a water spirit portending a sailor’s death at sea, or a more general prophesy of demise, taking shape in the exhalation of a dying person’s breath.

Sources: 1 2 3 ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[arasinchahonghong]

Ms. Ice and Mr. Popular|| K. MG

Pairings: K.MG x reader

No warnings. Ig..?

Minigyu's charcoal hair fell just above his eyes, often swept back with a practiced, casual flick that sent girls in the hallway into a frenzy. His height was a force of nature, making him stand out in every crowd, and his smile, a dazzling, almost blinding flash of white teeth, was lethal. Kim Mingyu: king of the school, object of every girl's affection, and utterly, unequivocally aware of it.

Then there was Cho Y/N.

Y/N moved through the bustling corridors of Sevit High like a shadow, unnoticed by choice, unheard by design. Her hair, perpetually in a messy bun, was usually obscured by the hood of an oversized sweatshirt. Her headphones, a permanent fixture, were her armor against the relentless social hum. Boys like Mingyu were a distant, irritating static she preferred to tune out.

Mingyu, however, found himself increasingly fascinated by the one person who didn't seem to notice him. It started subtly. A casual glance in her direction during assembly. A slight pause in his stride when he saw her in the cafeteria line. The usual giggling and hushed whispers that followed him everywhere were conspicuously absent around Y/N. She just… walked. Or ate. Or read. Unbothered.

"Yo, Mingyu, check it out," his best friend, Seungkwan, nudged him one Tuesday afternoon, gesturing towards Y/N who was sketching intently in her notebook during a particularly boring history lecture. "The Ice Queen herself. Still no reaction to your majestic presence."

Mingyu smirked, a flicker of challenge in his eyes. "Give me time, Seungkwan. Everyone eventually succumbs to the Mingyu charm."

Seungkwan just rolled his eyes. "Don't say I didn't warn you when you get frostbite."

Mingyu’s initial attempts were subtle, almost too subtle for anyone but Y/N to catch. He'd "accidentally" bump into her in the crowded hallways, offering a charming, apologetic smile. She'd just mumble a quick "Watch it," without even making eye contact, and continue on her way. He'd try to "borrow" a pen in class, specifically from her, only for her to hold it out without looking up from her book, her expression blank.

His fan club, a self-appointed group of girls who called themselves the "Gyu-ettes," watched these interactions with bated breath, convinced their idol was merely playing hard to get, that Y/N was secretly swooning. They were wrong.

Frustration, a foreign emotion to Mingyu when it came to female attention, began to brew. He was Kim Mingyu! He had never had to try this hard.

The day of the Great Cafeteria Confrontation arrived like any other, but with an undercurrent of impending doom for Mingyu's ego. He had spotted Y/N sitting alone at a table near the window, lost in a book, as usual. This was it. He would make his move. He would be suave. He would be irresistible.

With a confidence honed by years of effortless popularity, Mingyu strode over to her table, a tray of food in hand. His friends watched with a mixture of amusement and apprehension.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked, his voice a low, smooth rumble, accompanied by his signature dazzling smile. He gestured to the empty seat opposite her.

Y/N slowly lowered her book, her eyes, the color of rich coffee, finally meeting his. There was no awe, no blush, just a cool, assessing gaze.

"Do you know how many empty tables there are in this cafeteria, Mingyu?" she asked, her voice quiet, almost a whisper, but it cut through the cafeteria noise like a laser.

Mingyu blinked. "Uh, well, yeah, but I thought..."

"And yet," she continued, her gaze unwavering, "you picked the one where someone is clearly trying to enjoy their lunch in peace."

He chuckled, trying to recover. "Come on, Y/N, don't be like that. I just wanted to say hi."

She tilted her head slightly, a small, almost imperceptible smirk playing on her lips. "Say hi? You could have done that in the hallway. Or in class. Or, dare I say, used your words instead of 'accidentally' body-checking me every morning."

A gasp rippled through the nearby Gyu-ettes. Body-checking? Their Mingyu?

Mingyu felt a flush creep up his neck. "Hey, those were accidents!"

"Were they?" Y/N raised an eyebrow. "Because your 'accidents' always seem to involve you standing too close, or leaning over my desk, or conveniently losing your pencil next to my foot." She paused, then added, her voice dripping with mock sincerity, "Are you perhaps… vertically challenged, Mingyu? Do you struggle with spatial awareness?"

The cafeteria, which had been buzzing, went eerily quiet. Even Seungkwan had to bite his lip to suppress a laugh.

Mingyu’s jaw dropped. "Vertically challenged? I'm like, the tallest guy in this school!"

"Indeed," Y/N replied, a glint of amusement in her eyes. "Which only makes your repeated personal space violations all the more perplexing. Unless," she leaned forward slightly, her voice dropping to a theatrical whisper, "you're perhaps trying to convey a secret message through proximity? Are you a mime, Mingyu? Is this your performance art?"

His face was now a brilliant shade of crimson. The Gyu-ettes looked like their world had just crumbled. Mingyu, the charismatic, the untouchable, was being dismantled, piece by piece, by the quiet girl in the corner.

He stammered, "I… I just thought… you know, you're always so quiet, and I wanted to..."

Y/N cut him off, a faint, almost imperceptible smile gracing her lips. "I appreciate your concern for my vocal cords, Mingyu, but I assure you, they are perfectly functional. I simply choose not to waste my breath on… well, on things that don't particularly interest me." She gestured vaguely at him with her book. "Like attempting to decode clumsy attempts at attention-seeking."

She closed her book with a soft thud, picked up her tray, and stood up. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe there's a particularly riveting chapter waiting for me in the library, far from any spatial awareness issues."

With that, Cho Y/N walked away, leaving a stunned Kim Mingyu standing alone in the middle of the silent cafeteria, his perfectly coiffed hair suddenly seeming less impressive, his dazzling smile nowhere to be found.

Seungkwan, who had finally let out a choked laugh, walked over and clapped Mingyu on the shoulder. "Well, that was… something. Frostbite, much?"

Mingyu just stared after Y/N’s retreating back, a strange mix of humiliation and a reluctant, begrudging admiration swirling within him. He had been roasted, thoroughly and unequivocally. And somehow, for the first time in a long time, he felt genuinely intrigued. The game, it seemed, had just begun, and for once, Mingyu wasn't entirely sure he was going to win. And that, surprisingly, was almost exciting.

The Great Cafeteria Roast, as it was now unofficially known among the student body, only fueled Mingyu's peculiar obsession with Y/N. Most people would have retreated, licking their wounded pride. But Mingyu wasn't most people. He saw it as a challenge, a fascinating puzzle. The usual tactics were clearly useless. He needed a new approach.

His opportunity came in the form of a particularly brutal physics test. Mingyu, despite his popular persona, was genuinely bright, though he rarely applied himself as diligently as Y/N. He often ranked among the top students, but Y/N was consistently the topper, a fact that both impressed and mildly annoyed him.

One afternoon, after the physics test results were posted and a collective groan echoed through the classroom, Mingyu approached Y/N's desk. She was, predictably, scribbling notes in her textbook, utterly oblivious to the surrounding despair.

"Y/N," he began, his voice devoid of its usual playful swagger, replaced by something almost… humble.

She looked up, a hint of suspicion in her eyes. "Yes, Mingyu?"

"Look, I know this is a long shot, and after our last conversation, I totally get if you say no," he started, already feeling a strange surge of self-consciousness. "But… I really bombed that physics test. And you're… you're literally the best at it." He paused, then took a deep breath. "Would you… would you be willing to tutor me? At my place? Just for physics, I swear."

Y/N stared at him, her expression unreadable. Mingyu braced himself for another cutting remark, a dismissive wave. Instead, she considered him for a long moment. "Why your place?" she finally asked. "The library is perfectly adequate."

"Because," Mingyu said, improvising quickly, "my dad's a physics professor, and he has a whole setup in our study. Whiteboard, fancy textbooks, everything. It's way better than the library, honest." It wasn’t entirely a lie; his dad was a professor, and they did have a well-equipped study.

She mulled it over, then, to his utter surprise, nodded. "Fine. Tuesdays and Thursdays after school. Two hours. If you're serious, I'll help."

Mingyu felt a triumphant surge, quickly stifling it. "Seriously serious! Thank you, Y/N, seriously!"

The Revelation of Kim Mingyu

The first few study sessions at Mingyu's house were… an experience. Y/N arrived promptly, no small talk, just her backpack and a laser-like focus. Mingyu, initially, tried to maintain his cool, popular façade, but Y/N’s unwavering intensity chipped away at it. She explained complex concepts with remarkable clarity, patiently walked him through problems, and, surprisingly, had a knack for breaking down intimidating formulas into digestible chunks.

He found himself genuinely listening, genuinely learning. And as he learned physics, he also started to learn about Y/N. She was incredibly disciplined, her mind sharp and logical. She had a dry wit that surfaced in unexpected moments, usually when he made a particularly silly mistake.

But the biggest revelation for Y/N wasn't just Mingyu's surprisingly quick grasp of physics, or his hidden diligence. It was seeing him truly engaged, unburdened by the expectations of his popularity. He’d furrow his brow in concentration, a stray lock of hair falling into his eyes, completely unaware of how charming he looked. He'd get genuinely excited when he finally understood a difficult concept, a genuine, unguarded smile lighting up his face – a smile far more appealing than his usual dazzling showman's grin.

One Thursday, after they'd conquered a particularly tricky set of electromagnetism problems, Mingyu leaned back, stretching. "You're a genius, Y/N. Seriously. I actually… get it now. How do you do it? How are you always so focused?"

Y/N put down her pen, looking at the neatly solved equations on the whiteboard. The late afternoon sun streamed through the window, illuminating dust motes dancing in the air. For the first time, she seemed to relax, a faint sigh escaping her lips.

"My mom," she began, her voice softer than usual. "She's… very particular about grades. Especially full marks."

Mingyu listened, surprised by her candor.

"Ever since I was little," Y/N continued, staring at her hands, "it's always been about studying. Getting ahead. Getting perfect scores. She says it's the only way to guarantee a good future, to be successful. If I ever slipped, even a little, she'd… she'd be disappointed." Her voice was quiet, almost a whisper, but Mingyu heard the raw emotion behind it. "So, I just… I just studied. All the time. Never really did anything else."

She finally looked up at him, a vulnerability in her eyes that Mingyu had never seen before. "I've actually never dated anyone. Never been to a party. Never even had a casual crush, really. It was always just… the books. Because if I didn't get full marks, if I failed, she'd scold me. And I couldn't bear that."

Mingyu's usual playful smirk was completely gone, replaced by a thoughtful frown. He saw the years of pressure, the quiet burden she carried. The "Ice Queen" facade wasn't aloofness; it was a shield. The indifference wasn't disinterest; it was a deep-seated fear of distraction, of anything that might pull her away from her singular focus.

He realized then that his initial attempts to gain her attention, his flashy, superficial gestures, had been utterly meaningless. He had been trying to impress the shell, not the person inside. And now, seeing the real Y/N, quiet and earnest and carrying a hidden weight, he felt a strange, protective warmth bloom in his chest.

The silence hung between them, not awkward, but thick with unspoken understanding. Mingyu finally spoke, his voice gentle. "Y/N… that sounds like a lot to carry."

She just shrugged, a small, sad gesture. "It's just how it is."

He looked at her, truly looked at her, seeing beyond the smart student and the quiet girl. He saw the person who had just opened up to him, the person who had spent her life chasing perfection out of fear of disappointment. And in that moment, Kim Mingyu, the boy every girl was crazy about, realized he wasn't just interested in gaining her attention anymore. He wanted to genuinely know her.Mingyu felt a pang in his chest. The confession wasn't what he expected, and it shifted his entire perspective on Y/N. The "Ice Queen" wasn't cold; she was guarded, burdened by a pressure he couldn't fully comprehend. He knew, instinctively, that his usual popular boy antics wouldn't work here. This wasn't about charming her anymore; it was about genuine connection.

"Y/N," he said softly, leaning forward slightly, "that's... that's a lot. And it sounds incredibly tough. But you know, there's more to life than just grades. There's... you. And you deserve to experience things, to have fun."

She looked away, a faint blush on her cheeks. "It's not that simple, Mingyu."

He nodded, understanding. "I know. But what if we started small? Like... no physics next Tuesday. Just, you know, do something else. Anything you want to try. No pressure, no expectations."

Y/N hesitated, her gaze fixed on a spot on the wall. "Like what?" she murmured, almost to herself.

"Anything!" Mingyu's voice lightened, a genuine smile forming. "We could get boba, or just walk around, or maybe I could introduce you to my dog, Ahjussi. He's incredibly fluffy and a great stress reliever. Or... we could just sit here and not talk about physics. What do you usually do when you're not studying?"

She finally met his eyes, a tiny, almost imperceptible curve on her lips. "I... I usually just study more."

"Exactly my point!" Mingyu grinned. "So, next Tuesday. No books. No physics. Just... whatever Y/N wants to do. Deal?"

After a long moment, she nodded, a small, tentative smile finally blooming on her face. "Deal."

A Different Kind of Discovery

The next Tuesday, Mingyu found himself surprisingly nervous. He had planned a simple trip to a quiet cafe known for its artisanal teas, thinking it would be a low-pressure environment. When Y/N arrived, she was still in her usual oversized hoodie, but today, she wasn't wearing headphones.

The conversation started slowly, a little stilted. Mingyu talked about his love for photography, his clumsy attempts at cooking, and stories about Ahjussi. Y/N, to his delight, began to open up too. She spoke about the solace she found in reading, her quiet appreciation for art, and a surprising fondness for quirky documentaries. He learned she had a dry, understated sense of humor that made him laugh out loud, a genuine, hearty laugh he rarely shared with others.

They ended up spending hours there, the conversation flowing effortlessly. Mingyu found himself completely captivated, not by her intelligence, which was undeniable, but by the layers of personality he was slowly uncovering. He realized he wasn't just trying to "get her attention" anymore; he was genuinely drawn to her.

Their "study" sessions slowly morphed into more. Sometimes they'd actually do physics, but then they'd shift to watching a movie, or him teaching her basic guitar chords, or simply talking about their day. Mingyu found himself looking forward to Tuesdays and Thursdays with an eagerness that surprised even himself. He started noticing the small changes in Y/N: the way she'd leave her hair down sometimes, the faint, shy smile that would appear more often, the way she'd meet his gaze without flinching.

The Confession in the Starlight

It was a clear Friday night, unusually warm for the season. They were "studying" at Mingyu's house again, though the physics books lay untouched on the desk. They were sprawled on the carpet, listening to music, talking about their dreams for the future.

"So, what about you, Mingyu?" Y/N asked, her voice soft in the dim light of the room. "What do you want to do after high school?"

He thought for a moment, then sighed. "Honestly? I don't know yet. Everyone expects me to go into something prestigious, follow in my dad's footsteps, maybe. But I'm kind of just… figuring it out. The popular guy thing, it’s… it’s a lot of pressure sometimes." He looked at her, truly seeing her. "It's funny, before you, I just kind of floated through everything. Enjoyed the attention. Didn't really think about what I actually wanted."

He paused, then took a deep breath. "But now... now I think about things differently. About what makes me genuinely happy." His gaze intensified. "And a lot of that, lately, has been you, Y/N."

Her eyes widened slightly, and a blush crept up her neck, visible even in the dim light.

"Look, I know this might be sudden," Mingyu continued, his voice a little shaky. "And I know you said you've never dated, and you've always focused on your studies, and I respect that, truly. But... being with you, these past few weeks, it's been different. In the best way." He shifted, sitting up, turning to face her fully.

"Y/N," he said, his voice earnest, "I… I really like you. Not just the topper, not the 'Ice Queen' everyone talked about. I like you. The one who’s quietly brilliant, and has a great sense of humor, and worries about her mom's expectations, and actually laughs at my dumb jokes."

He extended a hand, palm up, towards her. "And if you’re willing to take a tiny step out of your comfort zone, just a little bit, I'd really, really like to take you on an actual date. Not a study session. Just… a date. No pressure, just us. And maybe, just maybe, we can figure out what else there is to life besides full marks."

Y/N stared at his outstretched hand, then slowly, a radiant smile bloomed on her face, brighter and more genuine than he had ever seen. It reached her eyes, crinkling them at the corners. She hesitated for only a second, then gently placed her hand in his.

"Okay, Mingyu," she whispered, her voice soft but clear. "Okay."

And in that moment, under the silent gaze of the moon and a million stars, Kim Mingyu knew he had finally, truly, gotten Y/N's attention. But this time, it was for all the right reasons.Mingyu spent the next few days in a whirlwind of nervous excitement. He wanted their first official date to be perfect, but not over-the-top. He thought about fancy restaurants, amusement parks, even a mini-golf outing. But then, he remembered Y/N's quiet nature, her love for art, and the genuine conversations they'd started having.

He decided on a low-key, meaningful evening. He would take her to a small, independent art gallery known for showcasing local artists, followed by dinner at a cozy, unpretentious Italian place he knew.

When he picked her up on Saturday evening, Y/N was wearing a simple, elegant dress – something he hadn't seen her in before. Her hair was down, framing her face softly. She looked beautiful, and Mingyu, for once, felt a genuine blush creep up his neck.

"Hey," he said, trying to sound casual, but his voice was a little breathy.

"Hi," she replied, a shy smile gracing her lips.

The art gallery was quiet, filled with soft lighting and thought-provoking pieces. Mingyu, usually more of a sports enthusiast, found himself genuinely enjoying the art, especially when Y/N would point out a detail he'd missed or offer a thoughtful interpretation. She wasn't lecturing him; she was sharing her perspective, and he hung on every word. He even found himself offering his own, surprisingly insightful, observations.

"This one," Y/N mused, standing before a vibrant abstract painting, "it feels like chaos, but there's an underlying order, almost like a hidden pattern."

Mingyu nodded, "Yeah, like… like when you first look at a really complicated physics problem, and it just looks like jumbled numbers, but then you find the formula that makes it all make sense."

Y/N turned to him, her eyes sparkling. "Exactly!"

Later, at the Italian restaurant, the conversation flowed easily. They talked about school, their families, their favorite books and movies. Mingyu found himself completely forgetting about his reputation, about being "Kim Mingyu." He was just Mingyu, talking to Y/N, genuinely enjoying her company. He learned she had a surprising love for cheesy rom-coms, and he confessed his secret passion for baking elaborate cakes, a fact that made her giggle.

As the evening wound down, they were walking back to her house, the streetlights casting long shadows. The air was cool and crisp.

"I had a really great time, Mingyu," Y/N said, her voice soft.

"Me too, Y/N," he replied, his heart feeling lighter than it had in years. "More than great. It was… amazing." He paused, gathering his courage. "Can we… can we do this again? Soon?"

She looked up at him, her eyes reflecting the starlight. "I'd like that very much."

They reached her doorstep. A comfortable silence settled between them. Mingyu wanted to reach out, to hold her hand, but he held back, respecting the delicate trust they were building.

"Good night, Y/N," he said, a genuine, soft smile on his face.

"Good night, Mingyu." She returned his smile, a hint of something new – something warm and hopeful – in her gaze.

As she stepped inside, Mingyu stood there for a moment longer, a triumphant yet profoundly peaceful feeling washing over him. He hadn't just gotten the attention of the school's topper; he had, he hoped, begun to find a connection with the real Cho Y/N. And for Kim Mingyu, the boy who once had every girl's attention, this quiet, genuine connection felt like the biggest win of all.

The Unspoken Promise

The weeks that followed were a testament to their budding relationship. Their "study sessions" became a comfortable blend of genuine learning and shared moments. Mingyu's physics grades soared, a fact that even impressed Y/N's mom, albeit grudgingly. But more importantly, Y/N began to slowly, tentatively, shed her protective shell. She started joining him and his friends for lunch sometimes, even laughing at Seungkwan's jokes. She still carried her books, but now, a subtle shift in her posture, a lighter step, hinted at a newfound freedom.

Mingyu, too, found himself changing. He still hung out with his popular friends, but the need for constant validation lessened. He found more joy in quiet conversations with Y/N than in being the center of attention. He'd catch himself looking at her across the classroom, a soft smile playing on his lips, knowing that he was seeing a side of her no one else did.

One afternoon, after a particularly productive "study" session, they were walking home. The sun was setting, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink.

"My mom actually said I could go to that art exhibition next month," Y/N said, a hint of excitement in her voice. "She said my grades were good enough to warrant 'extracurricular enrichment'." She rolled her eyes playfully at the last part, then looked at Mingyu. "Want to go with me?"

Mingyu's heart swelled. "Are you kidding? I'd love to." He reached out, gently taking her hand. Her fingers, initially hesitant, slowly interlaced with his. The touch was soft, warm, and spoke volumes.

They walked in comfortable silence for a while, their hands linked, the setting sun casting a golden glow around them.

"Y/N," Mingyu began, his voice barely above a whisper, "you know... you don't have to get full marks all the time. It's okay to just... be yourself. To make mistakes. To have fun."

She squeezed his hand. "I know. I'm… I'm trying. And you've really helped, Mingyu."

He stopped, turning to face her. "You've helped me too, Y/N. More than you know." He looked into her eyes, seeing not just the brilliant student, but the kind, resilient, and beautiful person she was. "You showed me that there's so much more to life than what everyone expects. And that… that what truly matters isn't about being the most popular, but about being genuinely happy, with someone who understands you."

He leaned in, his gaze tender. "And I think… I think I'm genuinely happy when I'm with you."

Y/N's eyes softened, a deep understanding passing between them. She didn't say anything, but her grip on his hand tightened, and a soft, genuine smile blossomed on her face. In that moment, under the fading light of the setting sun, it was clear that their story, which began with a popular boy and a girl who didn't give a damn, had blossomed into something real, something truly special. The journey to full marks in life had just begun, and they were ready to ace it, together.

[twilightcitysky]

Everything Is Meant (long S2 analysis, part 3)

Part one

Part two

There's SO MUCH excellent meta out there right now, and I'm going to try not to reinvent the wheel too much, but I want to keep going with tying the episodes/ elements up together because on first watch it wasn't entirely clear how everything fit. I also strongly recommend a rewatch, no matter what you felt about the ending... if you need to stop it 10 minutes early, do that, but you pick up so much more the second time around.

So: Maggie and Nina. I spent most of my first watch wondering why we were bothering with them, honestly. Later in the season Nina, and then Maggie and Nina, gave Crowley some insightful advice, but their actual relationship didn't progress despite all the meddling, and the amount of emotional investment BOTH Aziraphale and Crowley had in making them get together was frankly strange.

I started thinking in terms of mirror couples, since that was such a big deal in S1 and that's clearly what they were set up to be, but I made the mistake that all of us made on first watch: that Nina was Crowley and Maggie was Aziraphale. It still wasn't really coming together.

Then I put the psych hat back on and started to think about displacement. Displacement is a defense mechanism, and it consists of satisfying an impulse (usually an unconscious one) with a substitute object. At the beginning of the season, Aziraphale and Crowley aren't really in a good place, and I think on some level they know that. Aziraphale is trying to SHOW Crowley that he wants to take the next step through all the casual touches and phone calls and inviting him in, and feeling frustrated because Crowley doesn't seem to be taking the bait. (I absolutely think that Aziraphale tried to get Crowley to stay with him at the bookshop instead of living in his CAR, and Crowley said no. That's a whole other meta.) Meanwhile, Crowley, I think, is waiting for a Grand Gesture. Where did he go, as soon as Aziraphale brought up trying to get two humans to fall in love? Romantic tropes. Getting caught in the rain under an awning. A dramatic kiss that opens someone's eyes. That's the sort of thing he's always done, right? Big rescues, impassioned pleas on the street, fancy dinners, "give you a lift anywhere you want to go". He's defensive and guarded and unlikely to let someone in unless he's CERTAIN he won't be rejected, and Aziraphale's approaches are just too... quiet. No one's fault, they just don't speak the same language.

Then, they're handed the opportunity to make two humans fall in love, and they're both All In immediately. Look at Crowley's face when he summons the rainstorm. This is HUGE for him. Why? Because of displacement. Look at Aziraphale arranging the ball and being borderline deranged about it. They're both desperate to demonstrate what they think it takes for two people to move past their misunderstandings and fall in love. They can't do it for each other because the stakes are too high, and if either of them shows their cards unequivocally the vulnerability feels life-shattering. They're codependent and terrified of rejection and also, importantly, have no idea what they're doing when it comes to love. "Saw it in a film", Crowley says. Aziraphale's read about it in books. But they have zero practical experience.

Instead of learning to communicate, they try to say what they want to say through the medium of Maggie and Nina, up to and including the questionable moral decision to exert control over people's actions and thoughts during the ball. If I can just make this come out right, they both think, then things between us will be alright too. It HAS to come out right. They're attempting to gain some control over their own lives, over something that feels so overwhelming and shattering they can't look directly at it.

It doesn't come out right. Nina's relationship falls apart, but that doesn't mean she's in love with Maggie. While Crowley's stress-cleaning the bookshop to the music that played when Aziraphale got his books back in 1941 (just fuck me up David Arnold), they come in and tell him so. "I don't understand", says Crowley. Because it should have worked. Why didn't it work?

They tell him, of course. "You need to talk to each other. Say what you're really thinking." But here's the thing about communication: you have to learn it. You need to get the hang of expressing your feelings without blaming your partner, and separating intent from impact, and staying away from getting defensive and lashing out. No one has ever taught Aziraphale and Crowley how to do this. It's like Maggie and Nina put Crowley in front of a loom and asked him to recreate the Bayeux Tapestry. He doesn't have the skills; he's always going to get it wrong, even if he tries his hardest.

And he does try. But that's where Maggie and Nina the mirror couple, rather than Maggie and Nina the displacement relationship or Maggie and Nina the Greek chorus, come in. Aziraphale, as Nina, has just ended an incredibly toxic, invasive relationship with Heaven. A relationship that invaded every facet of his life, isolated him, and prevented him from being close to anyone else. "Rebound mess," Nina says. Aziraphale is a rebound mess. He's transferred the responsibility for his emotional wellness to Crowley. Crowley is the person he calls when he's in trouble, or (and this is key) when he wants to report a clever/ good thing he's done, or when he's bored. (At no point did Crowley reference Aziraphale calling him for a solicitous reason-- another problem.) Crowley is meant to take care of him. He forgets, I think, that Crowley is a person with his own wants and needs, just like Maggie and Nina are people with their own wants and needs who don't appreciate being messed with. (I think things would have been much different had Aziraphale BEEN THERE for Maggie and Nina's talk with Crowley, but he wasn't.)

And Maggie-as-Crowley? Lonely. Behind on rent, at risk of being evicted (it's important to note that Aziraphale saves Maggie from losing her record shop, as he couldn't save Crowley from losing his flat). Pining. Awkward. Revolving around Nina like a planet, to the extent that we don't get much of an impression of her otherwise. They realize, there at the end, that they both need to round themselves out before jumping into a relationship. Aziraphale and Crowley need that too. They need to take time apart and learn to be healthy on their own. Unfortunately they don't have the skills to get to that conclusion in a healthy way, so it all explodes in their faces and everything falls apart.

Aziraphale tries to teach Nina and Maggie to dance as a substitute for communication. Nina and Maggie try to teach Crowley communication as a substitute for the dance they've been doing around each other. That's the reason they're a part of the plot: they exist to demonstrate the way Aziraphale and Crowley might have succeeded in forging a better dynamic. Sadly, the boys' dance is too practiced and they got sucked right back into it.

It's okay, I think, that Nina and Maggie's storyline never really went anywhere. It wasn't supposed to. It's an allegory, not something that needs to stand alone.

[elven-child]

Don't let polish authorities protect Netanyahu

Quick context:

a petition you can sign to let them know you object:

Petition text in English:

Poland, December 2024

Open letter: an appeal for equal standards in the application of international law, addressed to the Prime Minister, the Council of Ministers of the Republic of Poland, the Minister of Foreign Affairs and the Minister of Justice

We, for whom the memory of the Holocaust is an ethical challenge, contained in the slogan "never again - for anyone, anywhere", we, who for a year have been watching with horror the massacre committed by Israel on Palestinian women and men in the Gaza Strip, attacks on residents of the West Bank, the bombing of civilians in Lebanon, we, who follow reports of inhumane torture in Israeli prisons, the killing of Palestinian journalists, healthcare workers and the UN, and Israel's blocking of humanitarian aid sent to Gaza, we, who for over a year have been watching with horror and anger the first-ever live coverage of genocide, the perpetrators of which publicly boast about their intentions and actions, we accept with hope the arrest warrant for Benjamin Netanyahu and Yoav Galant issued by the International Criminal Court. As human rights organizations have been emphasizing for years, bringing perpetrators of human rights violations to justice is one of the most important tools for restoring justice. The international community is responsible for ensuring that perpetrators learn that they are not above the law.

Therefore, we call on the government of Poland, a state that signed the Rome Statute establishing the International Criminal Court, to unequivocally declare that it will comply with the decision of the ICC and join the prosecution of those suspected of committing war crimes indicated by it. This is required by basic solidarity with the Palestinians. This is required by basic respect for human life, every life. This is what we expect from the Polish government, we citizens and residents of Poland, showing solidarity and compassion for those suffering.

At the same time, we want to emphasize that we consider identifying criticism of the criminal policies of the state of Israel with anti-Semitism to be absurd and immoral, as well as dangerous to the Jewish culture and tradition that many of us hold dear. We do not agree to reducing this culture and tradition to the policies of one state, repeatedly condemned by international organizations, human rights organizations and part of Israeli society. This would mean the squandering of Jewish heritage, about which Marek Edelman, the leader of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising and a doctor in Poland after the war, used to say that being a Jew means being on the side of the beaten and wronged. We also refuse to listen to the arguments of those who try to convince us that the power occupying, displacing and dispossessing Palestinians is a weaker party than the occupied population of the West Bank and those imprisoned and besieged in Gaza for almost two decades. We call on Israel to immediately ceasefire and hold those guilty of massacres and war crimes accountable. We call on the Polish government to comply with the ICC ruling.

We assure Palestinian sisters and brothers of our solidarity and express our dreams of freedom and peace for Palestine, freedom and peace for the whole world!