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roosterforme · 11 months

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Always Ever Only You Part 2 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Avoiding your husband wasn't the best way to deal with your problems. Neither was baiting him into having a conversation that you knew was going to annoy him. But you were frustrated with work and your body, and somehow you knew Bradley would never blame you for any of it.

Warnings: Fluff, smut, angst, swearing

Length: 3900 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32

You had been trying for weeks to tolerate having Cat in your lab and your workspace. She was a great addition to your team. Quick and smart. Everyone else seemed to think she was wonderful. But you... just didn't.

Or rather, Cat didn't seem to like you. There must have been something about you that just rubbed her the wrong way. Other than a greeting each morning when you saw each other, she tended to steer clear of you, preferring to work near Macy and Sonya.

You tried not to let it bug you, but it was hard when Jake was constantly stopping in to see you at work. He was an attention grabber. He was obviously handsome. And he was obviously also not your husband. So you started getting a few looks here and there from your coworkers. And you knew it was all because he thought Cat was gorgeous and wouldn't stay out of your lab.

"What are you doing here?" you asked him one afternoon when he walked in and leaned on the counter next to where you were working on a line of code on your computer. "I just saw you last night at the bar."

"Just saying hi to my favorite engineer," he drawled, eyes resting on Cat where she was working across the room. When she glanced up at Jake, her eyes were softer than they ever were for you.

You turned on your stool to face him. "Why can't you just be honest with me?" you asked him. "You're transparent to me, Seresin."

He looked down his nose at you and raised one eyebrow. "This is a two way street, Angel. And you've not been honest with me."

You looked at him, brow scrunched up. "What are you talking about?"

He sighed. "You're avoiding your husband. He was looking for you at lunchtime today. I don't want to listen to you whining about how much you miss him next time he's deployed when you're avoiding him now."

Your heart lurched. If Jake noticed how you'd been acting the past few days, then Nat probably did too. And you did not enjoy being on the receiving end of her temper when Bradley got angsty because of you.

"I'm not," you whispered. But you kind of were. Your period was due tomorrow, and your thoughts were once again consumed with buying a pregnancy test on your way home from work. Which was ridiculous. Because you knew how you were going to react when it was negative. You were going to spiral again. You were going to upset Bradley again. He kept telling you that none of this was your fault, but you just weren't so sure.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jake asked you softly, his blue eyes fully focused on you instead of Cat. But you shook your head and looked down at your hands in your lap.

"No. Not right now."

"Hey," he said, and you looked up at him. "Whenever you want some girl talk, I'm your man."

You laughed out loud, drawing the attention of your labmates, including Cat. "Thanks, Jake."

"Now," he drawled, leaning against the counter on one elbow, "can you please put in a good word for me?" He nodded toward Cat, and you just rolled your eyes.

"I would, but I don't even know if she's single. She doesn't like me very much."

Jake's eyes went wide. "Everyone likes you."

You just shook your head and said, "Not her. But I need to work on a bunch of proposals and shit with her this month, so I'm going to try my best to get her to crack."

"When you do, make sure you tell her what a stand up guy your good friend Jake is."

You ended up kicking him out shortly after that. And then you texted Bradley.

I love you, Roo. Movie night later?

Then you took a deep breath and grabbed your computer and made your way over to Cat. "Have a few minutes to look at these proposals or maybe check some of my coding?"

"Sure," she replied, pulling out the stool next to hers with her foot.

"Thanks," you mumbled, making yourself comfortable. "I just finished reworking this code if you want to take a look."

Cat sighed and pulled your computer a little closer. "I know this is how you do things around here, but there's a more efficient way."

You looked at her out of the corner of your eye. "Oh. Okay... well, maybe you can show me?"

Now she was the one looking at you cautiously. She sighed again and started typing away on your computer silently, just leaving you to watch what she was doing. You had to admit, she did have an efficient way of working.

"Hey, Baby Girl."

You spun around to find your husband standing behind you.

"Roo," you sighed, hopping up from your stool and wrapping your arms around him.

"I missed you at lunch. Ended up dumping hot sauce all over my food to drown out my loneliness."

You laughed against his chest. "Sorry."

He kissed the top of your head and told you, "You want a movie night? I'll stop and get some beer on the way home."

But you shook your head and looked up at him. "I actually need some other stuff at the store, so I'll grab the beer."

He nodded and smiled at you. "Sounds perfect."

"Wait, did you come all the way up here instead of just texting me back?"

Bradley leaned down close to your ear. "I would do anything for an excuse to see you."

The warmth of his words washed over your body just as Cat cleared her throat. You turned to look at her with embarrassment all over your face.

"Uh, Cat, you remember my husband, Bradley?" you asked awkwardly.

"Yes," she said in a curt voice. "We've met. He's been here several times."

"It's nice to see you again," Bradley replied in his most charming voice, and even Cat wasn't immune to that. She smiled softly at him before turning back to her work.

"You should go," you told Bradley, running your fingers through his hair and kissing him briefly before pushing him toward the door. "See you at home later."

And then he was gone and you were left with Cat and her attitude about the way you got your work done.

-------------------------

Bradley made it home before you. He took Tramp for a short walk after changing into some gym shorts and an old shirt. The neighbors had their grandchildren over, so Bradley stopped and let them play with Tramp. The kids always went absolutely nuts for him, and honestly, Tramp loved the kids probably more than they loved him.

"Trying to get you one of your very own," he told his dog as they walked up the driveway past the Bronco. Tramp jumped up and licked Bradley's hand like he understood. Like he was begging for his own kid to play with. "Working on it."

Bradley knew you were busy with work. Your promotion banquet was coming up soon. And he was pretty sure your period was due to arrive any day now. It felt like you and he were playing the waiting game every month. Bradley didn't really mind too much; trying to get you pregnant was perhaps the least stressful part of his daily routine. Fucking you had been bliss since the very first night he spend with you.

But he could feel the stress in your body every month when you got your period now. When he tried to tell you that sometimes this took time, you didn't want to hear it. And it had only been a few months since you stopped using birth control. But you didn't want to hear that either.

Bradley took Tramp inside, and then he heard your terrifying little car pull into the driveway. You came inside with some shopping bags and a six pack of your favorite beer. "I picked up dinner," you told him. "I think I have PMS, so I got some sushi."

"Perfect," he replied, noting the way you were biting your lip a little nervously. "Come here." He pulled you into his arms. "You pick the movie."

"Hmmm... 90s throwback night?" you asked, wiggling out of his grasp and starting to undress in the living room.

"My favorite," he murmured, watching your shirt slip down your arms.

Then you vanished toward the bedroom, calling out, "Be right back."

He sighed and set up the sushi and beers on the coffee table. Then he fed Tramp dinner and waited for you. When you came back out in one of Bradley's oversized shirts and plopped down on the couch, he was right there with you. He barely paid attention to which movie you chose, realizing about fifteen minutes later that he was watching Wild Things.

When you finished your sushi and took the last sip of your beer, you gently pushed Bradley back along the couch and curled up on his chest. Bradley loved your body weight on top of him like this. He felt warm and secure with your forehead resting on his neck while you watched the movie. But he was watching you and the way you reacted to his fingers gliding along your arm. Your eyelashes brushed along your perfect cheek.

He was thinking about how good you'd look with a baby bump when you shifted a little bit to look up at him. "You like this movie," you said against his chest, and he laughed. He was barely even watching it. "It's got the threesome scene with Neve Campbell and Denise Richards."

Bradley rolled his eyes. "That's not why I like this movie. I like it because it has a good soundtrack."

"Yeah, okay," you said with a laugh. And he let it go until a minute later when you asked, "Do you honestly expect me to believe that you wouldn't jump at the chance to have a threesome if I brought it up?"

Bradley was speechless. He just looked at you for a beat while you watched the movie.

"That's what I thought," you murmured with another laugh.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" he asked, shifting underneath you. "Are you trying to insinuate that you are not satisfying me? Or that I am not doing a good job of satisfying you? Because either way, I have a problem with this."

He grasped your chin between his fingers until you were looking up at him. "I was just making my point that you'd want to."

"I would not," he said louder. "Would you?"

You shook your head. "Of course not."

He blinked at you a few times. "I think about you and only you all fucking day long. And I'm too jealous and stubborn to share you. So don't ever make a comment like that again, okay? And if I'm not doing a good job, just tell me."

"You are!" you insisted, propping yourself up so that your chest was just grazing his and your lips were inches from his chin. "You make sure I cum before you do like ninety percent of the time, and you have a huge dick!"

"There's a little more to it than that," he growled. "If I'm not making you feel like you're important to me, then what's the point?"

You gasped and kissed his chin. "Roo. I'm sorry I said anything."

Bradley was a little worried about his performance now. Last week on the dining room floor, he wasn't sure if you came or not. His knees started hurting from digging into the hardwood. Maybe his nearly thirty seven years of age were showing. And when he bent you over the piano bench, he had to work very hard to get you off with his fingers before he came.

"Oh my goodness," you said, a little louder now. "You're not even lying, are you? You actually wouldn't want to have a threesome."

"No! We made wedding vows! I'm not about to stick my dick in anyone except you! And I wouldn't even want to!"

Your lips were on his, and your fingers were tangled in his hair. You were straddling his waist and murmuring, "You're so sweet, Roo."

He pulled you tight against him, letting you feel how hard he was for you. "I'm fucking crazy about you, Sweetheart," he swore. "If I'm not satisfying-"

But your lips were on his again, and you were rubbing yourself against his abs. Bradley grabbed at your hips underneath the oversized shirt. "You are!" you promised. "You're incredible. We're incredible."

"Then why the fuck are you saying that stuff?" he groaned when you started sucking on his neck.

"You're going to give me a complex."

"I'm sorry," you whispered. "I'm just feeling a little insecure today."

"Why?" Bradley asked, easing his hands up along your waist, enjoying the feel of your smooth skin. "Why would you ever have a reason to feel insecure? You're perfect."

You ran your nose along his Adam's apple. "Cat Coleman hates me for some reason. And I'm going to have to work a little bit this weekend, because I'm behind on the proposals. And my period is coming despite my best efforts."

"Stop it," Bradley said, gently squeezing your waist so that you met his eyes. You sat up, straddling his torso. "If Cat Coleman doesn't like you, then she's an idiot. I can help you this weekend. It's supposed to rain. You can read the proposals out loud to me while I feel you popcorn. And if you get your period, then we'll keep trying. Like I said, you're perfect."

You smiled down at him and started to pull his shirt up over his abs. "Okay, Roo."

"We got nothing to worry about," he whispered, tucking his finger inside your underwear, making you gasp as he stroked you. "Unless you start telling me you do want to have a threesome."

"I don't," you promised, kissing his lips. And then you pulled Bradley's shorts and underwear down to his thighs, and your slick pussy met his cock. "This okay?"

"'Course," he grunted. You slipped him inside, and once he was fully seated, you glanced up and kissed him again.

Then you carefully pressed your chest to his. "I love you, Roo." Your lips were soft on his scarred neck and cheek as he ran his hands up and down along your back. He was so comfortable like this, with you warming his cock. You softly fluttered around him, soothing him with every little squeeze and movement. You had control over him. You always did, because he'd given it to you. But your fingers in his hair and your soft voice near his ear...you just owned him.

More than anything, he wanted to make you happy. Take your stress away. And he knew that in the next few days, you'd either be delighted or miserable again, depending on if you got your period. So he wanted to enjoy this moment with you. Let you enjoy yourself with him.

As soon as you started moving your hips, you were moaning softly. Bradley pressed himself up against you, rubbing his rough hairs along your clit. "Tell me what you want."

You sighed and moved your hips a little faster. "Make it last forever."

Bradley wasn't sure if you were talking about this moment in particular or everything. But he'd make it all last for you. For his wife. You rode him on the couch until you came, chanting his name with his hands all over your breasts. Then he flipped you over onto your back, and you wrapped your legs around his waist while he fucked you nice and slow.

"You didn't cum yet," you gasped a few minutes later when he stroked your clit closer to another orgasm.

"You told me to make it last forever," he whispered, cock deep inside you as he pinched you and listened to you whine for him.

When he finally ended up in bed with you, he was a sweaty mess, and your pussy was filled with his cum. You were babbling softly as he tucked you in and plugged your phone into the charger. He went back to the living room to turn off the movie that he hadn't even watched and let Tramp out into the backyard. Yeah, he wanted this to last forever, too. Whether it was just the three of you or not.

---------------------

The next morning, you were in tears again. When you stopped for beer and sushi on the way home last night, you made a little detour to buy some more pregnancy tests. Negative. They were always negative. Bradley was dicking you down constantly. You'd made him feel so insecure last night, that he held onto you this morning and wouldn't let you get out of bed.

"We'll be late for work," you whispered, knowing you'd have to get Bradley out of the house so you could take one of the tests before you left, too.

"I love you too much to get up."

"If you get up now, I'll make you an omelette."

You laughed when Bradley jumped out of bed, and even after you made breakfast and sent him on his way, you had time to take the pregnancy test before you left too.

Crying in your car on your way to work had become this kind of sick routine. But at least you had fifteen minutes to get it out of your system before you parked. Then you had another ten minutes to make your face look neutral again before you made it to your lab with your computer.

You barely said a word to anyone until it was time for lunch. Part of you wanted to pull the same stunt you'd been pulling for weeks and tell Bradley you were too busy to eat in the cafeteria with him. But Jake was right. When Bradley was deployed again, you'd be nonstop wishing he was here with you. So you locked your computer and followed everyone else out.

"Hey, Cat?" you called out before you could stop yourself. She turned her dark, appraising eyes on you, and you sucked in a deep breath as you caught up with her. You knew Jake wanted to get to know her, and you knew that would be made much easier for him if in fact you got to know her first.

"Yes?"

"Just wanted to see if you wanted to eat lunch with me. I'll probably sit with my husband and some of our friends, if you-"

"I'm going to eat with Sonya. But thank you." Her face was still expressionless as she cut you off. But you didn't want to be deterred so easily.

"Okay," you said with a forced smile. "Well, we're going to hang out at the Hard Deck later, maybe shoot some pool or play darts. If you want to-"

"I'll think about it, thanks."

And then she was strolling down the hallway away from you. And the tears were filling your eyes all over again. You turned toward your office and pulled your phone out of your pocket.

I'm going to eat in my office.

As soon as you unlocked the door, Bradley had written back.

Bradley Rooster Bradshaw <3 <3 <3: I'll bring some sandwiches up and join you.

You managed to calm yourself down, taking deep breath after deep breath while you organized your file cabinet. But when Bradley knocked on the open door and you looked up to see his smile, you burst into tears.

"Sweetheart." He kicked the door closed and tossed the sandwiches onto your desk. "Come here." He sat down in your chair and patted his thigh, and you sank down to meet his big body while you sobbed. He held you and let you cry as you curled your legs up under yourself and burrowed against him.

You wiped the tears away but kept your eyes closed as you said, "I took a pregnancy test after you left the house this morning. Of course it was negative. I don't know why I keep getting my hopes up."

You could feel his lips and mustache in your hair as he kissed you. His voice was gentle as he said, "You need to stop doing that alone, okay? We can do it together if you miss your period. I don't want you to keep hiding what's going on from me."

You looked up at him with tear streaked cheeks. "You know you're going to get deployed again soon, right?" you asked as you hiccupped. "And then we're going to lose out on months of trying. I feel like if this doesn't happen soon, it's never going to, Bradley."

The irritation you knew must have been all over your face didn't seem to penetrate him at all. You'd been subconsciously baiting him last night while you watched the movie. Hoping for him to validate all of your inadequacies. Your mind thriving on the idea that even your husband thought you weren't good enough for him after all.

But all he ever did was love you and encourage you. And right now, you couldn't stand that, either. Because when he said, "We have time, and we have each other," you started sobbing again in earnest.

He held you for so long, you were certain he would get in trouble with Maverick for taking an unnecessarily long lunch. "You didn't eat your sandwich," you whispered as he rubbed your back.

"I'll eat it when I walk back over," he promised. "Which I'm not going to do until you promise me you'll stop shutting me out."

You nodded at him and whispered, "I'll do better, Roo." Then you handed him one of the sandwiches and scrambled off of his lap. "You need to go before you get in trouble."

He leaned down to kiss you. "Nah, Mav's a softie for you. If I tell him I needed to spend some time with you, he's not going to care too much, Baby Girl."

"Okay," you sniffed, looking at the other sandwich. But you'd lost your appetite now. Which was fine. You were beginning to think that the weight you gained and never lost from the wedding and honeymoon could be adding to your fertility issues. You scheduled a physical with your doctor for just after your promotion banquet. Skipping a meal here and there was honestly probably a good idea.

"I'll see you at home? Hard Deck after dinner?" Bradley asked, running his fingers along your cheek. You brought your attention back to him and nodded.

"See you at home."

But later that night, while you were at the bar with your friends, you couldn't stop thinking about the negative test. You couldn't stop thinking about your fertility. You couldn't stop thinking about how hungry you were.

And then you saw Cat sitting at the bar with Macy. When you caught her eye, there was barely a flash of recognition, even though you had invited her to hang out in this very establishment barely eight hours ago.

You tried to block it all out as your stomach ached from period cramps. But after another hour, you were tugging on Bradley's hand and whispering, "Let's go home?"

He eyed you cautiously as he finished the last of his beer. "Whatever you want, Sweetheart."

Home. That's what you wanted.

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Well, they can try again next month. But I'm worried about her. Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 3

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virginsexgod69 · 2 months

Text

❝Jealous ❞

pairing Professor! Daryl Dixon x F! Student! Reader with a sprinkle of Professor Rick

summary After getting drunk with your friends, you wake up at Professor Dixon's place where you explore something new. Rick lets you despite the jealousy brewing inside him.

cw smut, voyeurism, unprotected p in v, jealousy but also cuckolding lowkey, teacher - student relations, power imbalance, age gap, creampie, blow jobs, mentions of underage drinking (Reader is 20, legal drinking age is 21), outdoor sex

2.7k words

series masterlist

"Ready yet?" Rosita asked.

"Gimme a sec," you replied. You were sat on the floor of your dorm room, doing your makeup in front of the floor-length mirror.

"I'm ready," Maggie said as she grabbed her purse.

Your two best friends, Maggie and Rosita, wanted to go to a bar to celebrate finishing mid terms. You were apprehensive at first, considering you weren't twenty-one quite yet, but they promised you'd still have a good time.

"Alright, let's go!"

Maggie came back to the table carrying everyone's drinks- a cosmopolitan for Rosita and a scotch and soda for her. The drink she slid in front of you was pink with cherries in it.

"Ooh, what's this?" you asked curiously.

"Shirley Temple," Maggie said, struggling to hold back a laugh. Rosita bursted into a contagious fit of giggles, Maggie joining in, but you stared at them with a flat face.

"What? S'not my fault you're not twenty-one yet," she told you once the two of them calmed down.

"Ha. Ha," you said sarcastically before taking a sip of the non-alcoholic beverage. It was delicious, which made you madder. You drank with them all the time outside of bars, but now of all times Maggie wanted to abide by the law?

"Thank god mid terms are over. We can finally rest," Maggie said, leaning back into her seat.

"Is it just me, or was Professor Grimes' midterm unnecessarily hard?" Rosita asked.

"I thought it was fine."

"Speak of the devil," Maggie said and you all turned to look where she was looking. Over at the counter stood Professor Grimes and Professor Dixon, looking delicious in casual clothing. You shrunk in your seat, willing Rick to not see you. You weren't doing anything wrong, but you didn't want him seeing you at a bar to shatter the good girl image you worked so hard to maintain. Thankfully, when the men got their beers, they sat elsewhere without noticing you. You let out a breath of relief you didn't even know you were holding.

"I'ma get me a real drink," you tell your friends as you stand up from the table.

"Told you she'd want a big girl drink," Rosita joked. Maggie laughed but you just rolled your eyes. You sauntered over to the bar and ordered yourself a long island iced tea. Miraculously, your fake ID fooled the bartender, that or she just didn't care. You made sure to keep an eye on Rick’s table, making sure neither of the men saw you.

“See, the fake ID did work!” You boasted upon returning to the table with your drink.

“I’m surprised Eugene even made that for you,” Rosita commented.

“I may have twisted the truth on why I needed it.” The three of you burst into a fit of laughter before going back to chatting about anything and everything.

“I’m gonna order us a round of shots,” Rosita said after a while.

After multiple rounds of shots- you lost count- the three of you were rather tipsy. Maggie and Rosita had to hold you up as you were too tipsy to walk straight. Neither of you were in a state to drive, so you had called a ride.

“Look, it’s Professor Grimes!” You said a little too loudly, obviously pointing at him. Your friends shushed you, covering your mouth with a hand, not wanting the attention of their professor. But it was too late, him and Professor Dixon were on their way over.

“Everything alright, ladies?” He asked. He looked so good in that black t-shirt and jeans and so did Professor Dixon. The cotton fabric could barely restrain his strong arms as they were crossed over his chest.

“Rick!” You squealed, wiggling yourself free from your friends’ arms and stumbling into his. He caught you and held a strong arm around your waist so you wouldn’t fall. The two women stared at the interaction strangely, but didn’t say anything.

“C’mon, we gotta get back to the dorms,” Maggie said, holding her hand out toward you.

“Nooo, wanna go with Rick,” you slurred, burying your face in his chest. Rick sighed.

“I got her, I’ll make sure she gets to her dorm safe,” he promised. The women gave some pushback, but between Rick’s insistence and your whining, they finally agreed to let you go with him. When they finally got picked up by the ride you called, Rick picked you up bridal style and carried you to his car with Daryl in tow.

"You fuckin' yer student?" Daryl asked before taking a drag of his cigarette. He and Rick were sat on his porch, having some beer and smoking together. You were inside, asleep on the couch in one of Daryl's t-shirts. You had fallen asleep in the car ride back to the dorms and neither man thought it’d look right to carry your sleeping form back to your room, so instead they took. You back to Daryl’s place. They couldn’t bring you back to Rick’s considering his wife and kid were there.

"Yeah. S'more than that, though. She's more than just a good fuck," he explained.

"Have her in one of my classes. She's such a tease." Although Rick laughed, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. He didn't like the idea of you going around flirting with his colleagues like you do him.

"Yeah? How so?"

"Always wearin' those goddamn low cut tops and leanin' on my desk, or wearin' them tiny skirts with no panties on," he explained. Those little things you did were how you got Rick's attention in the first place. He wondered if he was the only one, or if you did this with all of your professors. The thought left a bad taste in his mouth.

"Never gave into it?" Rick asked, shocked. This time Daryl laughed.

"Ain' riskin' my job over no damn pussy!"

“Hey!” You chimed in, offended. The men’s head snapped toward you, just now realizing you were awake.

“You’re finally awake,” Rick commented. He, surprisingly, didn’t seem too happy to see you. Daryl’s face remained expressionless as he watched the two of you.

“Where am I? What’s going on?” You asked, now way more sober than before.

“You fell asleep in the car, so we took you to Daryl’s house. Got you changed into one of his spare shirts and let you sleep on his couch,” Rick explained cooly. You looked at Daryl and he just glanced up at you with a cigarette in his mouth. You were shocked he’d do something so nice for you, considering he didn’t even look your way, despite your advances.

“Ain't you gonna thank him?”

“Th-thank you, Dar- Professor Dixon,” you said, flustered. “Welcome,” he replied with a nod of his head.

“Take a seat,” Rick ordered, patting his lap. You hesitantly sat on his lap, not really wanting to under the curious gaze of Daryl. With one hand, he roughly grabbed your face, forcing you to look at him.

“You wanna tell me what you were doin’ at that bar, drunk?”

“Uhh…drinking?” His grip tightened, squeezing your cheeks causing your lips to puff out.

“Underage drinking?”

“M-my birthday’s in a few months, Rick, it’s no big-“

“If I were still a cop, I’d’ve thrown your ass in jail.” His tone was dark, almost scary even. Your eyes watered, tears threatening to spill over. You’ve never seen him like this before.

“Rick, why’re you bein’ so m-mean?” You whimpered. Rick understood the hypocrisy of his actions. Punishing you for having eyes for his colleague when he was a married man, using you as an escape from his commitment. It was wrong, but he couldn’t help the anger, the jealousy, he felt knowing he wasn’t the only one.

“Why don’ you ask Professor Dixon?” He turned your head to face him. Shame washed over you. You didn’t want him seeing you like this, a tearful pathetic mess sitting on the lap of your superior after clinging to him like a drunk mess earlier.

“Wha’s goin’ on? I’m c-confused?” You asked, finally letting your tears fall.

Daryl noticed the change in his best friend’s demeanor as soon as he told him about your behavior in his class. Now knowing that you were Rick’s, he’d never betray him like that. No matter how tempted he was by your innocent doe eyes always paying attention to him when he taught, or the way you teased him with the little outfits you wore, or how you’d frequent his office hours, pretending to need help just so you could have one on one time with him.

“Jus’ told him ‘bout your…interestin’ behavior in my class,” he innocently explained before finishing off his beer. He know how much trouble that’d get you in, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t interesting in how it’d play out.

You turned to face Rick, ready to deny Daryl’s claims and defend yourself, but the stern look he gave you caused the words to die on your tongue. He lifted you off his lap and pushed you toward the other man, causing you to stumble and clumsily fall in into his lap. He caught you, but kept you at a distance, afraid to touch you, because if he did, he doubted he’d be able to stop.

“If you wan’ him so bad, go on ahead and have him. That’s okay with you, right Daryl?” Rick grabbed another beer from the cooler and uncapped it with his teeth. You looked between the two of them, not even knowing what to think. Daryl, too, was looking at Rick apprehensively.

“Rick, wha’s goin’ on?” Daryl asked.

“Well she clearly wants you and I saw that way you’ve been lookin’ at her all night. So go on and have at each other,” he explained nonchalantly. You and Daryl exchanged a confused glance. Of course you wanted this to happen, obviously not in this way. Daryl did too. Having you in his lap in one of his shirts made his pants fit uncomfortably. You wanted to make a move, you really did, but what should've been a beautiful moment was awkward. Neither you nor Daryl knew if this was a test of some sorts to test either person's loyalty to Rick, or if he was really allowing this.

"It's okay, sweetheart, show Professor Dixon how grateful you are for him helpin' you out." He seemed less angry and held sincerity in his eyes. You relaxed a little, having Rick give you commands was comforting. You slid off Daryl's lap and kneeled in between his legs, looking up at him through your lashes. You undid he belt and unzipped his pants, pulling them down a little after he lifted his hips to let you do so. You glanced over at Rick as you pulled Daryl's hard cock from his boxers. Rick just watched with a blank face and beer bottle in hand. Daryl's warm hand cupped you cheek, earning your full attention.

"Don' look at Rick, look at me," he commanded softly. Butterflies erupted in your tummy seeing this side of the usually reserved professor.

"Yes, sir." You licked him from base to tip along the vein on the underside of his cock a few times before taking him all the way into your mouth. He wasn't as girthy as Rick, but he exceeded him in length, making it hard to take all of him in your throat, but that didn't stop you from trying. You gagged when his tip hit the back of your throat, making your eyes water.

"S'alright, girl, keep goin'," he coaxed. Warmth erupted throughout your body and you became hellbent on pleasuring the gorgeous man before you. You bobbed your head up and down on his dick, earning soft grunts from him here and there, but that wasn't enough, you wanted to have him panting and moaning. You held onto his strong thighs as you took him all the way, this time not gagging. Breathing through your nose, you increased your pace, earning some moans. His hand found the back of your head and held it down as he thrusted up into you, fucking your throat, your nose buried in his brown curls. His moans were music to your ears and made your pussy clench on nothing. You ground your clit against your heel, getting yourself off a bit as Daryl brought himself closer to his climax with your throat.

"Cum down her throat, she likes that," Rick chimed in. Daryl's pace increased until he finally flooded your mouth with his release. You swallowed every drop after he pulled out. With his thumb, he put the cum that spilled out of your mouth back in. You gladly accepted, sucking his thumb for good measure.

"Good girl," he praised. Your cheeks warmed at his praise. You wanted to hear more. You wanted to hear him praise you as he was buried deep in your cunt, pounding into you ready to fill you with his seed.

"Need you," you begged, staring up at him with pleading eyes. He glanced at his friend as if to ask for permission, but all he did was shrug dismissively, like he didn't even care. He didn't want to push the other man's boundaries, but he felt he owed it to himself for all the times he's pushed you away for fear of losing his job. And he felt himself getting hard again. He stood and pulled you up with him before turning you around.

"Bend over," he ordered and you did, holding onto the porch's railing. He lifted his t-shirt you wore, revealing the little red thong you had on. He was beating himself up internally for turning you down for so long. He was tempted to just shove his face between your thighs and lick the arousal coating them and taste every bit of you. He yanked the thong down, letting it fall to your ankles. He stroked himself a few timed before lining his cock up with your sopping pussy. You were so wet, he slid inside with ease. His mouth fell open and his eyes rolled back. You squeezed him perfectly, your warm, plush walls welcoming him home. His hands gripped your hips almost to the point of leaving a bruise, but it all felt too good. He pulled all the way out before slamming back in earning wanton moan from you. He continued thrusting into you, his composure slipping with each thrust. His hands slid up the shirt feeling your body until he got to your breasts. He groped them as he fucked you.

"You're fucking me so good, Daryl," you moaned as your felt the coil in your tummy tightening, a signal of your impending orgasm. Your legs shook as you gripped the railing even tighter.

" 'M close," he grunted, his thrusts losing rhythm as he came close to his second orgasm. Your entire body was on fire, Daryl's hands on you felt new and exciting, every touch of his made your spine tingle. Every ending of your nerves was on fire as you came around his cock, squeezing him for everything he had left.

"This pussy was made fer ma cock," he grunted. He came undone, painting your walls white with his seed. He continued to fuck you through both his and your orgasm. He pulled his now soft cock out of you, watching his cum slowly leak out of your swollen pussy and drip down your thighs. Daryl put himself back together before sitting back down and helping himself to another beer. After catching your breath, you turned to look at Rick, but be was already looking at you. You expected him to be upset that you were physically unable to resist fucking his colleague, his best friend, but instead his pupils were dilated and there was a prominent bulge in his pants. Watching his best friend fuck you definitely did something to him.

"You get that outta your system?" he asked. He was still a little snappy, but you were grateful he wasn't as angry as before.

"Yes, sir," you replied meekly.

"Good. That should hold you over while I'm punishin' you."

i have not once set foot in a bar, hopefully that wasnt obvious in my writing lmao. perhaps you noticed this wasn't proofread :p

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@banquetwriter @eternalrose81 @the-dixon-effect @dilfsandmartinis

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alienpossession · 8 days

Text

Another take from my end on the continuation of this much-beloved story, this time solely focusing on Andrei & Mike as they meet the ill-fated Steven from the original series by @apushforfolly

Bodybuilding is a rather tight-knit global community. The people you competed back in Las Vegas would be your competitor again in Dubai, in London, yeah, you get the gist of it. So while the Prince is busy consolidating domestic power, what the Prince directed the rest of us to do is to basically get our grip within the bodybuilding community and the ever-growing and increasingly cocky finance bros as stealthy as possible. Sander handled the finance and all those podcast bros flocking to Dubai. Meanwhile, me and Mike are quite influential within the UK bodybuilding circles, and with us based in Dubai, we did leverage that to our benefit as we lured some of the aspiring talent and even several of our old friends for a free Dubai trip which would lead to the end of their life as freedom human entity. Take Rory over here, quite a rather close friend of Andrei before the Prince and then I took this British-Romanian hunk for a spin

Rory eagerly took the offer to rekindle the friendship that just severed out of a sudden as he based himself in Bali while Andrei got his mind fucked by me as I hyper-focused myself to serve the Master and enlarge his influence. I didn't like to waste my time so within the first day he landed, right after I showed him and his girlfriend around their apartment I said to be free of charge as it was still in the market anyway, I simply bitchslapped him until he passed out and then proceeded to infect his girl first, taking the delight of Andrei's fucked up mind that held grudges to Rory for stealing his first crush, her. She cried, obviously, and even harder when she could feel that something terrible is coming with my cock that somehow enlarged beyond her comprehension, because it almost doubled in length and clearly that's not normal and she knows that. As my contained sludgebros released like a damn broken faucet into her throat, her eyes rolled to the back as black sludge overflown her mouth. But she's quick to regain her consciousness and with her mind set to infect her passed out boyfriend, I simply put my sweatpants back on and left the two lovebirds to settle their business.

That's basically one example of our MO, but it's the most effective because these bodybuilders really trust each other, especially when they came from the same country. And when we reached more bodies, it means we have more field operatives to take care off potential puppets. For example, Nico, like Andrei, is Romanian, and he's been out from the spotlight for a while. But, his physique is still great and he's considered a legend among the younger bodybuilders. So, of course I utilized his eagerness to learn a thing or two to become relevant from Andrei as my entry into his tight straight cunt and basically turned him into a puppet.

The legend status he holds gives him easier access to reach the coaches and the more senior bodybuilders, not even a week and he's already turning Jerome Weeks into a puppet too, just look at that wide, slightly off-putting smile the two of them did, if people paid attention a bit more, clearly they can tell that something is a bit not right there

There's also this easily leveraged dynamic of leeching off each other or trying to be in the more influential person's good light, and Mike really milked the shit out of it. He's charismatic, he's also probably the most well-off among the others and you just don't want to mess with him as he can legitimately messed with your influencer career if you crossed him.

Olly and his older stepbrother Craig bumped to Rory and Mike in the middle of a gym, and of course they asked Mike and Rory for a quick pic. The two brothers already planned to utilize the picture for some clout but they are also legitimately looked up to Mike especially, hence the slightly tense pictures despite multiple takes.

What the two humans failed to realize was the fact that both Rory and Mike licked their lips as they watched the siblings walked giddily to the locker room after the pic sesh. They grinned to each other and decided to join the two brothers in the locker room to have some "pep talk". While Rory handled Craig, Mike sauntered the impressionable 20 years old blondie. At first excited to see his idol and tried to respectfully stand up, Olly found himself taken aback as Mike instead pressed Olly back to the seat and then smirked

"I see the potential from you, dude. You can be a jacked piece of shit in no time and fucking popular too. All you neeed to do is open up that mouth, I know you blondie want a piece of this meat,"

Bewildered, Olly tried to fight back but Mike asserted his dominance in a split second as Olly found himself unable to even stand up as Mike held his shoulder and forced him to stay seated

"Don't force me to use my strength, noob. Now, as I said before, you have the potential, just open up that pretty mouth and let me show you how to get big," Mike said with a shit-eating grin so uncharacteristic of him. His crotch just inches away from Olly's quivering lips, and from Olly's POV, he meant every single words he said. Olly still resisted, he tried to scream for help but Mike's hand quickly muffled his mouth, blocking him to even let out a sound. He simply wished that anyone will walk in and caught Mike red-handed, but it seems like it's not goint to happen anytime soon. Unfortunately for him, as his eyes wandered looking for any good samaritan that can help him out of this predicament, his eyes caught a bizarre sight as his married stepbrother bobbed his head up and down Rory's dick like a cum whore! Mike gleefuly said with sinister undertone

"Yeah, even your older brother knows it's the right thing to do. Heck, it's the only way to get big nowadays. It's time for you to also start accepting that as the truth. Now, I won't repeat myself again, open,"

Seeing the tight-lipped Olly, Mike then take the liberty to simply fish out his cock out from his workout shorts, revealing a mean-looking 7.5 incher semi-hard uncut meat throbbing with excitement. He's been going commando since this morning, and the tough workout regiment clearly caused him to accumulate quite some sweat in his crotch. Mike just grazed the tip of his meat right to Olly's pink lips before the young sophomore jock relented to the pressure. His throat felt sticky and sore from all the thrusting, but he found out that he got no gag reflex whatsoever which caused Mike to grin in the first few seconds after the entirety of his cock lodged into Olly's throat

"Ohhh fffuuuckkk you really meant to be a cocksucker bro!"

The whole facefucking lasted for about 6 minutes before Mike started to get tight and exasperated. When Rory and Craig circled around Olly, that's when Olly realized that something is not right when his stepbrother's eyes looking a bit empty and glazed. But not long from both Rory and Craig sauntered the both of them, Mike shot his copious load into the trembling Olly, his body went on a full seizure as the slug takes over his bodily system. Olly eventually regained his consciousness and the first thing he do is to cough out the sticky mess that filled his mouth when he passed out and replaced by an alien slug. He then smiled a very wicked smile

"Now, can I infect other human on my own?"

"Hahahahahah, love the spirit, but not so quick bro, not so quick,"

----

So when Steven Barnett, a bodybuilder with Mining Engineering degree, arrived in Dubai for an all-inclusive honeymoon after marrying his girlfriend for 3 years which also happened to be the daughter of a US Army General, the gym junkie decided to squeeze in several workout session since he knows some of his favorite bodybuilders are based in Dubai. Unfortunately for him, the Prince intel already put a target behind his back the moment he booked a flight to Dubai with his now-wife.

The penthouse arranged by Andrei, the tour around town with Rory, the workout sesh with Mike and Olly, everything is simply part of the plan to ensure that Steven is well-monitored 24/7 throughout his stay. The Prince believed that it's time for him to make another move after consolidating the power in Dubai, and America sounded like a solid plan. So, when Steven walked into one of the last gym that has been recommended by a lot of his online followers, it's already a trap ready to capture him to become yet another puppet in the growing collection of the Master. He's just simply oblivious to the fact that he posed with puppets controlled by mere black slug that looked like a pitch black oil he found in his day job.

#alien possession #male possession #alien takeover #alien expansion #alien transference #male puppet #male takeover #apushforfolly

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bearw-me · 17 days

Note

Just read that vigilante request, can we please get that character somehow running into I.M.P. (maybe even helping them against Striker or Crimson?) , and also maybe a bit of a romance with Loona? You've got full creative liberty here on how that happens tho

vigilante!reader is back!! 😭😭💖

𝐈.𝐌.𝐏 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐕𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𐐒 ft : vigilante!reader, blitzø, millie, moxxie, loona 𐐒 cw : swearing, fluff, crushes, mentions of killing 𐐒 summary : odd circumstances lead hell's newly found 'hero' to I.M.P 𐐒 note : i loveee this, lets make a series lol

Blitzø hired you to help out his company, offering you "the fucking glory" of going back to Earth and help him and his crew do some good by killing some "bad fucking people"

It honestly surprised you that the little imp was cunning enough to track you down one night and offer you something so- casual

Even though you insist you and I.M.P are "mutual partners" Blitzø brags to everyone that you're on his payroll and work for him. It brings him a ton of business so he advertises it WIDELY

Like whenever clients come in looking to hire the company, Blitzø likes to try and wrap an arm around your shoulders and flaunt you off smugly before you twist his wrist backwards, successfully taking his arm off you

Moxxie is obviously skeptical, always questioning you, your morals, why your doing this, etc.

It gets old, and you have to just start shoving the imp away from you (literally keeping him at arms length)

Moxxie likes to try and brag to you about not letting your 'status' in hell affect him.

And honestly Millie likes having another badass on the team. She's the perfect co-worker. Respectful, bubbly, and fucking scary when she needs to be. She isn't intimidated by you so there don't seem to be barriers when she speaks to you.

She's terrifying, so you respect her for it. And she respects you back for carrying your weight in the company.

Millie would one day like to spar with you to prove who is the strongest.

And Loona. . .

You clean your guns during meetings and job run-downs Blitzø goes over, wiping down your pistol and inspecting it closely. Listening to the plan, imagining yourself providing the crew covering fire from a nearby roof.

Then you feel her staring and catch her eyes, quirking an eyebrow at her.

The poor hellhound blushes from being caught and tries to look away. Always trying to fix her hair and checking her makeup in the mirror whenever you look her way.

You can definitely tell she's intimidated and nervous around you. And she always jumps at the chance to give you your paychecks and info from her dad.

Her and Blitzø are the only ones who know/have your contact for that reason.

Blitzø hates it. Trying to interfere and keep Loon-y off you, coming between the two of you whenever he can.

In truth Blitzø loves Loona and wants you as his badass friend he can show off. . . but his dad instincts always come first so "Don't get any fucking ideas Deadpool"

Despite a little skepticism at first, I.M.P and its employee's grow to trust you and your 'holy' endeavor to make the world a little better by ridding it of sinners.

They still all try to get to know you and get under your skin at times, despite your insistence on staying a complete mystery to them.

#headcannons #imagines #headcanon #reader insert #helluva boss #helluva boss blitzo #helluva boss millie #helluva boss moxxie #helluva boss loona #loona x reader #vigilante!reader #helluva boss x vigilante!reader #x reader #x you #x y/n #fluff #imagine #hcs #reactions

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whinlatter · 4 months

Note

something tells me you don't really like tonks, just a hunch xD

For the relationship ask if you're still doing it: harry and remus, molly and remus, teddy and adromeda. I would love to see what do you think <3

noooo i love tonks! i had a ball writing her and think that @evesaintyves’ rendering of her is one of fandom’s greatest gifts 😭 i just find it very funny that harry thinks she should low key get a grip. and as a clumsy young woman who should myself get a grip, i say: get off her case, hjp.

ok the remus + tonks/black extended family universe... hyped for this one. delicious choices, thank you anon. (i have a few more in the inbox i'm going to take a stab at but am trying to avoid spoilery ones or ones where i risk boring you all again by repeating old talking points, so if i don't get to one pls forgive me...)

right — to business. we begin with everybody looking at remus lupin waiting for him to put his crippling self loathing aside to write (1) singular letter to his dead friend's son:

i jest (to an extent). but i do think the entirety of harry and remus' dynamic is best encapsulated in one singular scene in PoA:

“When they get near me — ” Harry stared at Lupin’s desk, his throat tight. “I can hear Voldemort murdering my mum.” Lupin made a sudden motion with his arm as though to grip Harry’s shoulder, but thought better of it.

i know there's a very understandable move in AUs to imagine what would have happened if remus had raised harry - or, more often, if remus had been 'allowed' to raise harry by dumbledore. but looking past the whole plot-requiring-harry-to-be-at-the-dursleys thing, the truth is, canon remus lupin would never have put himself forward to raise harry, because of his own (not unfounded!) concerns about the precarity of his existence and the dangerousness of his condition. remus' sense of self - more specifically his fear of himself, and his very low self worth - consistently lead him to hold harry at arm's length from the moment he's introduced in the series until its bitter end. i don't think remus at all approves of the way harry is treated at the dursleys. but i can very much imagine that remus thinks it would still be better than the life he could have given harry if he ever had been called upon to serve as his primary caregiver. one of the most interesting implicit dynamics in the series is that harry notices this and does, to some extent, resent it (obviously the fact that he only ever calls him 'lupin' in his narration, though uses remus to his face, and also: 'Harry had received no mail since the start of term; his only regular correspondent was now dead and although he had hoped that Lupin might write occasionally, he had so far been disappointed.') while the harry & remus fight in DH is about harry's view of what remus ought to do re tonks and the baby, it’s also harry coming as close as saying to remus: you're letting your own child down like you let me down. ('I’m pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren’t sticking with your own kid, actually... He had it coming to him,” said Harry. Broken images were racing each other through his mind: Sirius falling through the veil; Dumbledore suspended, broken, in midair; a flash of green light and his mother’s voice, begging for mercy… ‘Parents,’ said Harry, 'shouldn’t leave their kids unless—unless they’ve got to.')

molly and remus: i think this is a very, very underrated relationship! i know there’s a lot of molly-bashing around these days, especially if you’re a marauders and/or sirius and/or wolfstar stan. but i think it is very very overlooked that the person who looks after adult remus the most from 1995 onwards, and who shows him some of the deepest trust and roots for his happiness, is molly. for a man who has plainly known a huge amount of financial/food/housing insecurity, and who is so villainised in wider wizarding society, it is no small gesture for molly to not only provide for remus materially but also to trust him in a house with all of her children and encourage him in a romantic relationship he struggles to feel entitled to and worthy of. (i love sirius, but he is in no fit state to ‘look after’ remus in the last year of his life, and fandom’s continued unwillingness to recognise the importance of domestic/caregiving labour as a vital contribution to the resistance will never not be problematic af). remus clearly values and admires molly in return - the only time he actually ever entertains a parent/guardianship role is when molly is weeping over her boggart, crying onto remus’ shoulder (‘what must you think of me?’) and he assures her that if anything were to happen to her and arthur, he would be a part of the team making sure her children are taken date of (‘what do you think we’d do, let them starve?’) remus’ relationship with molly is often the more mild-mannered translator of her viewpoint to others (especially others with hot tempers), and mediator trying to find middle ground between molly’s protective instincts and the battle/ready instincts of others. (more grist to my sirius & ginny parallels mill — in DH, when a fuming ginny is desperately trying to sneak off to fight in the battle, it’s remus who appeals to molly and ginny to find the compromise of ginny staying in the room of requirement to know what’s going on but not actively fight, a mirror image of his role mediating the dispute between sirius and molly over harry’s right to know what’s going on at grimmauld in ootp…) molly accepts this compromise, a sign that she trusts remus implicitly (she never frets that a werewolf is living among her children in ootp onwards, and invites him to christmas readily even after months undercover with the pack) and also feels able to call him out (‘i’ve always said you’re taking a ridiculous line on this, remus’.) this is too long but basically — justice for molly and remus, unlikely buds!

teddy and andromeda: i weirdly think a lot about teddy lupin these days. i tend to imagine teddy as a very mild-mannered, affable, calm child, like who remus might have been had he not been bitten, with tonks' heart and sociability but also with something of remus' more philosophical disposition. i think he'd slip very naturally into a big brother role because, in part, he does see himself as having a responsibility to take care of people, and i think this would shine through in his relationship with andromeda. we know teddy was raised by his gran, and i imagine she feels enormously protective of him, perhaps bordering on strict in her desire to keep him safe from the harm that came to all the rest of her family. but i like to imagine teddy didn't act out against this too much, in part because he understands where it comes from and in turn feels very protective of andromeda. growing up in the aftermath of the war would make teddy as a child particularly aware of the grief and pain and the silences among the adults around him, and i think teddy would take any compensatory protective strictness on andromeda's part with good grace, and humour her for it. i like to think teenage/young adult teddy serves as the translator for any of his gran's more prickly edges, and that they have a very close relationship that both of them really treasure.

#meta #wow really got the soapbox out for this one #and depressed myself in the process #me screaming into the void forever that remus is canonically crap and that's why he's so interesting #remus lupin #andromeda tonks #teddy lupin #molly weasley

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jackietorrance · 1 year

Text

My Black Cat

Jenna Ortega x Reader

You had to pick up Jenna from the studio, with a surprise for her.

Jenna had already talked about her desire to have a pet, but that she didn't have time to take care of it due to the constant filming of Wednesday.

Fortunately, these moments had already ended, with the end of filming and the release of the series that later became a success

It was 5 o'clock in the afternoon when had already given Jenna's departure time from the set. You were very excited to meet your girlfriend

You parked in front of the studio door, waiting for Jenna's arrival, you looked on your YouTube, some videos of your favorite game but is soon interrupted by Jenna, and finally you can enjoy the vision of an abnormal person, she looked like a goddess, honestly.

You lower the window and then your girlfriend holds it on your cheeks and leaves a delicate kiss, which allowed you to melt, relax in your presence.

"Did you miss me?" You said happily, when Jenna got in the car

"Not so much" she smiles, and then presses her lips against hers, in a quick kiss. In the midst of this moment, you can see the noise, or rather, meow of something coming from behind the driver's seat. Jenna soon gets scared and turns to look, with that you give a smile when you hear a long "Aww" coming from the central part of the car

"He's beautiful my love, what's his name?" Said Jenna, holding the puppy as the monkey held the lion puppy in the scene of the movie Lion King (obviously, within the limits to the roof of the car).

"I thought of Marley, you know, like Marley and Me" she laughed and you looked with a face that said "What? It's cute"

"Really?" Said Jenna wiping the tears dropped from her face for the exaggerated laugh "Isn't Marley a dog?"

" Yes.. But he looks like Marley."

"If you say" Jenna says as she puts the kitten on her lap, running her hand over the entire length of her fur

You park the car in the garage of your house and mention getting up, but Jenna prevents her, holding you by the wrist

"Look how beautiful he is sleeping y/n” she holds him carefully

"Not as beautiful as this kitten I have next to me" you try to kiss Jenna, but she puts the finger of her free hand on her lips "that was so bad Y/n, you will wake him up" she makes a gesture that you leave so that she gets up with the cat

"Did you trade me for the cat?" She smiles and nods, causing you to position her eyebrows indignantly, of course, mockery.

You finally get out of the car and Jenna also does it entering the house, while you pick up the cat's accessories in the back of the car

You enter the room and see Jenna putting the cat in our bed

"My bed.." you whine

"You sleep in the coach now" Jenna smiles mockingly and holds you by the waist, running her hands inside the American shirt you wore, caressing your back with the palm of her icy hand

You lean your head on your girlfriend's shoulder and shiver, causing her to release a moan that came out muffled

"Thank you very much" Jenna said and this made you raise your head to keep the visual contact with Jenna. "For what?" You asked, confused. "For everything, you accompanied me every day incessantly through this filming and I thought you couldn't stand me anymore" she laughs weakly

"You’re so cute" You hold Jenna's chin and and caressed it gently, as if it were made of porcelain, your heart missed the beats, making it fast, Jenna still had the power over you to leave you like this "I love you Jenna, that's the least I would do for you" you bring your face closer to hers by starting a kiss that involved longing and

"So.." she tries to say, but to timidly. "Hm?" You pronounce while moving the strands of hair that were on your girlfriend's face

Suddenly the TV that was in front of you is turned on instantly, even giving a scare, but soon it is blocked when you see that the control was activated by the cat that had already woken up

On TV it showed the Netflix Top 10 and in first place was Jenna's series with an image of Wednesday Addams on the cover. Jenna's character

"Was that a sign?" You look back at your girlfriend

"Maybe" she holds on not to laugh, but when she saw her face the laughter was undeniable

After the two already took a shower and dressed properly, they started watching Wednesday, the cat was already his respective bed, and after Jenna's request, he stayed in your room, you just couldn't deny this woman's request, everything was perfect to watch the series and so it happened.

In episode 6, you were so glazed watching that you didn't even notice that your girlfriend had slept and when you realized what had happened, you quickly fixed her in bed and put a kiss on the top of your head. You would even have continued watching the series, if it weren't for thousands of notifications, beeps and voice messages, you turned on your cell phone and opened your Twitter, which as expected, there were several people commenting about a photo of Jenna with her head inside the glass of the car, apparently taken by paparazzi, the moment that occurred earlier today. you turned off your cell And went to sleep thinking about how lucky she was to have Jenna in her life.

——————————————————————————————————

English is not my original language, so I'm very sorry if there's something wrong

#jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x male reader #omg this is cute

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saltydkdan · 1 year

Note

Salty, may I ask which you recommend more: the one piece manga or anime. I wanna get into it but I also want a recommendation on which one may be better to start with depending on the pros and cons. Anyways I apologies if this is a dumb thing to ask.

Sure! One Piece is a really interesting beast when it comes to the difference between it's anime and manga, and at the end of the day it depends on your preferences- However yes, there are Pros and Cons to each! For this ask, I'll be trying my best to stick to the Official options available to you.

Also, this post specifically will be about how to best GET INTO the series, not necessarily a critique on the content of it! (I'll gladly do a separate write up on that eventually if anyone is interested in my thoughts on the Pros and Cons of the series itself)

Anyway, here are my personal thoughts:

MANGA

(This is my preferred way to experience the story)

PROS

-I'm not a manga purist by any means HOWEVER, the One Piece Manga is really good

-The pacing is really great (especially initially). In the first half, arcs are very quick and snappy! And even as they got progressively longer in length I didn't mind because by that point the story already gripped me.

-The art is wonderful in both black and white, and the official colored scans (which you can find online)

-This isn't really a "pro" per say, but it's something I enjoy doing. When I read, I like to put on some of the soundtrack from the anime. I usually find stuff like "Tense One Piece Music" or "Emotional One Piece Music" and listen to it as I read. It really enhances the experience for me personally. I also like to look up clips of arcs from the anime that I'm reading or already finished to see what they look like, and also see them in a fun new way. I feel like this sort of mixed approach is optimal for me.

CONS

-You have to read 😔

-There are many ways to read One Piece and in many different languages. There's black and white and colored manga- however just be careful. The best one TRANSLATION wise is the official release, and while you may find other options, some older "unofficial" translations are VERY outdated (I once saw one where Zoro casually dropped slurs)

-That also being said: Even though the official translation is the best, it is stuck in black and white. Many official colored scans were never officially licensed in English, and because of that aren't as accessible.

-Collecting it physically is fun, but can get VERY pricey. Like... hoo boy. Thankfully they sell compendiums that collect a metric shit ton of chapters, however the paper/print quality is noticeably cheaper. So if you want to collect them, the smaller volume releases are the way to go. That being said, I would just suggest using the Shonen Jump App by Viz Media. It's the best official way to support the series officially, as well as the cheapest for the average consumer! $3 a month for the entire library as well as other series + getting new chapters updated every week is great. I'm not sponsored or anything either, I just really like the model. So if you find yourself really enjoying the series, THEN you can go about collecting it physically if you want!

ANIME

PROS

-It's animated (obviously)

-You have a choice of either the Japanese Sub or English Dub. This also boils down to preference but from my experience they're both great options!!

-I'll get into it in the "Cons" section, but the One Piece anime is VERY long, like... kind of in a not so good way at certain points. However, I've heard that even though some parts are a bit too long, it's one of those things that if you really get into it, you'll love the fact that it feels like a never ending adventure! Not my experience, but it's what others have told me!

-This is gonna sound crazy, but Filler Arcs. A lot of people don't like these, and I get why, but they are very easily skippable if you want to look up a guide, and some of them can actually be really short and fun (as well as add a bit of extra flavor to the story). One of the best examples is an arc called "G-8". Even Manga readers recommend it, so you know it's good and gives each of the characters some fun moments!

CONS

-You may be aware already, but the One Piece anime has a very bad reputation of having HORRIBLE pacing. Now, to be fair, many people say that the pacing only gets truly horrible AFTER a very specific arc about halfway through the series (which is where a lot of anime watchers jump ship to the manga)

However, I'll be honest... I wasn't a super huge fan of the pacing from the beginning. To clarify, I STARTED with the anime. I don't have a super great attention span, so having to wait around 38 or so episodes for "Arlong Park", the arc that people suggest you get to before deciding whether to keep going or quit, was very difficult for me at first. I got through it, and I'm glad I did, but as soon as I did, I decided to switch over to the manga and had a much easier time.

-I find the show's music very repetitive at times. That's not to say the music is necessarily bad, I love the One Piece OST! It's just... over the years they have barely updated the soundtrack. Every arc you might here one or two new tracks, however a lot of the time you'll hear the same tracks replayed in the same sort of situations. ("OVERTAKEN" is an AMAZING track, but if I hear it one more time I'm gonna snap)

-This is a bit of a nitpick but I need to say it. One Piece's sound effects, while iconic, are also extremely outdated. When you start the series and hear the older-styled Toei Animation sound design, it is super charming because it fits with the older visuals. However in more modern One Piece, which visually looks incredible, THEY STILL USE THE OLD SOUND EFFECTS AND THEY JUST DON'T FIT.

TOEI, UPDATE YOUR SOUND LIBRARY!!!

ANYWAY...

Anyway, I hope my funny little list here helps!! Sorry it's so long, went a bit off the handle. But I think this is a fine enough starter guide and may help you get started!

#salty asks #saltydkdan #one piece #Manga #long boys

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buginateacup · 3 months

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Thoughts on the new Megamind movie and series

Hello friends it is Bug review time!

I have watched the new movie and show all of one time each. I'm gonna talk about what I liked, what I disliked and some thoughts on the new characters and places where there are cracks in the story to drive a roadtrain worth of fanfic through

A disclaimer before we begin, I am thirty or forty years old and I am not the target audience for this shit. I love Megamind and am a hardcore Megarox shipper and also a world building focused fiend. The original definitely had a broader age bracket appeal but this is a show aimed at something like 6-12 year olds. Therefore for better or worse they had to simplify and audience surrogate the shit out of a lot of this.

Megamind vs the Doom Syndicate

To be honest I think you could skip this and go into the new series cold. It's not a movie its a movie length pilot. It was fine and it definitely smacked of Studio Interference going "But you have to explain and set everything up!" (spoilers you don't). The Doom Syndicate is fun if very kid friendly and I'm looking forward to seeing more of them. Behemoth and Knighty Knight are my pals and Pierre Pressure and Lady Doppler are my catty bitches.

The dialogue was good but the pacing felt lopsided. It really felt like they were retreading things that happened in the original movie, especially Minion's entire arc which he just went through two days ago? They did a good job with it but still!

Stuff I loved

FAKE EVIL DATING - I wish they'd shown them actually having to pretend to evil date. But of all the things I thought I was going to get it certainly wasn't that! (So much fanfic y'all. So Much Fanfic).

All of the Doom Syndicate calling out that Megamind and Roxanne obviously have A Thing and neither of them dealing with it well.

Roxanne just casually hanging out in the Lair and also taking charge. that's my girl! Also she's a complete morosexual and she and Megamind deserve each other.

Mayor Roxanne. I didn't adore HOW they did it, I think you could tease a whole season (or an exceptional fanfic) out of Roxanne finding herself not only bored of her job but dealing with the trauma of "Every time I look at the camera I see Hal beyond it and maybe I have some issues with that" and wanting to make changes.

Megamind's Bedroom! There was a sound like a million fanfic writers crying out in glee.

Minion and Roxanne being bros!

Minion out of his suit! It was creepy yet adorable!

The Mayor being useless. When you are used to having a hero who solves every problem, why wouldn't you have a useless Mayor? (I like that he comes back in the show)

The Doom Syndicate in general. They had a good range of designs and were at their most fun when bickering together.

Mr Cuddly Snuggles.

Stuff I didn't love

It felt like a retread of a lot of things that happened in the original movie. Which it has been 14 years so fair, but also if you're going to set something two days after the events of the movie, why make it a photocopy of the original?

Everything that Keiko was doing in the movie that could or would have been done by Roxanne if we were still going via the original characterisation (Roxanne broke into an entire villain's lair right after Megamind took over the city but Keiko's the one with the bat???).

Megamind just spent a whole movie going on about how he didn't share the spotlight and it caused a rift with his oldest friend (again) but sure, we couldn't do this without you small child we just met an hour ago. Its pure audience surrogate and YoU CAn'T bE mEaN to CHiLdrEn! but it makes the pacing feel even more lopsided that this can be so rushed when the whole Minion thing (and not even touching on the whole Bernard issue) got all the attenion and sure we'll just shove this in as well.

(This is the part where I admit parentification of characters is a MASSIVE squick for me and anytime I read about people wanting to make Megamind and Roxanne Keiko's new parents it makes me want to throw up in my mouth.)

Also Exposition voicing the "I was bad but you showed me I didn't have to be" is sooooo not for me. One thing the original movie was extremely clever about was showing how privilege and wealth played a part in Megamind and Metro Man's eventual roles. Megamind wasn't just a bad guy, he was raised in a prison, totally othered, looked different to everyone else on the planet and sent to the naughty corner even when he tried to do things right. While Metro Man was a white western male fantasy who landed in the lap of luxury and even his bunker is a monument to himself.

This was totally discarded for the new movie and I think its the poorer for it, simply because it was such a SMART and SUBTLE thing that is actually relevant.

Again, for kids. Not aimed at me. But I still think it does a disservice to kids not addressing that whole very important aspect.

End result: It's been 14 years since we got any content and I will take it for what it is, a movie length pilot of Baby's First Megamind for a superior tv show. An opportunity for a thousand gifsets and Roxanne running somebody over with a firetruck. If you're watching to get something out of it you probably will. I will be writing 12394393487 fanfics about Megamind and Roxanne actually having to prove they are dating to the Doom Syndicate.

Megamind Rules

Definitely better quality than the movie (I'm not going to talk about the animation etc because frankly the answer should always be pay your animators better and give them more time).

LOVED Megamind just breaking into Roxanne's office. Nice to seee some things never change. LOVED the Bodyswap episode (again, so much fanfic). LOVE LOVE LOVED Megamind and Roxanne laying on the kitchen floor together. We did not get enough scenes of them alone together.

LOVED Christina Christo, tired adults just trying to get their jobs done is my JAM and CREAM and SCONES and I love her (also why I loved Roxanne in the original). Loved her and Minion hanging out in episode 5. They need to be buddies more.

LOVED Roxanne wanting metal tickets for Megamind, everything about them having a shared history and interests filled my heart with glee.

LOVED the shot of Roxanne aiming the degun, Mucho sexy.

Loved Roxanne and Lady Doppler havign a history. How come we got more about tha than we did Megamind and Roxanne?

LOVED Megamind and Roxanne bonding over old kidnappings.

Ep 3 was heaps of fun. Doctor Doughnut was silly yet joyful. and I appreciate the Go Fish gang appreciation of his evil laugh.

The move from news reporting to streaming is actually a reasonable thing to happen, but I wish they'd delved into it better from Roxanne's side of what the shift away from traditional reporting and media meant for her. Social media and news have changed A LOT since the original movie. Again its one of those rich seams that fanfic exists to delve into.

LOVED the cockroach episode, but a missed opportunity for YOU RAISED A CHILD (TWO CHILDREN!) IN JAIL HOW ABOUT WE EXPLORE THAT A LITTLE MAYBE??

I guess we just...have a giant Minion in the lake now?

LOVED the Doom Syndicate just hanging out. Lady Doppler is me, sitting on a bench drinking tea.

The cliffhanger is a cliffhanger because they wanted a cliffhanger. But so help me if Roxanne isn't working from the inside in the next 8 episodes I will riot.

Characters

Megamind. Learning to be a person is right. Every time he got to be one on one with another character he became more himself. Every time he was one on one with Roxanne I was riveted.

Roxanne. My girl! They sidelined the shit out of her in this series! Sure she went off and got herself top job (Megamind and Minion calling her "Your majesty" was for me specifically) but so much of what made her a fun character in the movie (complete lack of fear in the face of villainy, her banter with Megamind, her willingness to just break into a villain's secret lair to find shit out got pushed onto Keiko and it left Roxanne with nothing to do. I don't know what they're planning for the future but I could see Christina taking over as Mayor eventually and Roxanne joining the crime fighting crew.

I HATED every time they called her Roxie, that was set up as an unwelcome nickname in the movie so I don't know why they backflipped on it here. HOWEVER I am prepared to accept it on the basis it made Megamind saying "Roxanne" in episode 8 that much more impactful (though they still could have used Miss Ritchi).

Keiko. I love Keiko as a character? But I hate her role in the show. She's the audience surrogate and the "Kid Relatable" for the kids to latch onto and they had her Exposition Voice in the DS movie what was actually much more cleverly crafted and characterised in the original movie. As a person she's cool and I like having her in the show I just wish it wasn't at the expense of Roxanne. They could have kept her as streaming socials girl and still left the investigation/danger to Roxanne and it would also have meant more time to explore what the Megarox relationship could be building towards/developing from.

I cringed all the way through Keiko dealing with the Doom Syndicate because it was telegraphed from a mile away such a tropey Kid Approved plot. I LOATHE making the tension about characters who have fucked up needing to admit they fucked up when its way more impactful to have them fess up immediately and put all the tension into how to solve the problem.

Machiavillain. He looks like a cunty Barbie villain and I love that for him. I assume we have to be getting the other 8 episodes at SOME point because otherwise that's a lot of Adam Lambert for not a lot of payoff.

Minion/Chum. ALSO learning to be a person and I have always had a soft spot for him. Showing that he has about as much sense as Megamind is a delight.

Christina Christo. I love her and I love that she and Megamind are constantly arguing for Roxanne's affection. Probably my favourite new addition.

End result: It's very Studio Approved For Kids! Enjoyed the show a lot more than the movie length pilot. Needs more Roxanne. Needs 10000 more game nights with Minion's electroshock orgasm ball.

Megamind was and is a PARODY of the superhero genre, break more rules! Don't just plod through the studio approved plot points! Having the original movie be all adults was actually really refreshing because you could get a lot more out of subtle shit without having to spell it out. One of my biggest peeves and the cause of a lot of fanfic is why is shoving Megamind into the hero role any better than shoving him into the villain role? Let him go be a mad inventor without having to save the city! Let him be a crime fighting villain!

And finally, so help me if Roxanne isn't front and centre beside Megamind where she belongs in the next season I will start biting.

FUTURE FANFIC I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO READING/WRITING

All of the evil fake dating. Make them have to fooool the Doom Syndicate. Make Roxanne need to stay over. make it only one bed. Make kisses with Megamind where they haven't even talked about the Bernard thing yet and they are both so messed up about it. (Fun fact! I wrote a fic with this premise way back before the show was even announced.

We're still fooling the Doom Syndicate and oh no they want to help plan the wedding.

We're still fooling the Doom Syndicate and oh no now we're actually getting married.

Roxanne actually dealing with her issues after the movie and why and how she goes into campaigning for Mayor.

Megamind and Roxanne breaking in the mayoral office (obviously).

Filthy sexy bodyswap shenanigans

How did Roxanne figure out Megamind's ticklish spots?

10 thousand character driven Roxanne hanging in the Lair moments

10 thousand Megamind hanging on the couch in Roxanne's office moments

A highly charged Roxanne and Lady Doppler bitter evil exes interaction (just for you @ejga-ostja)

Doom Syndicate shared public workspace office. Or just some random person going in to use the printer and constantly getting dragged into lackeying for them.

Metro City Meme War

An actual introspection on the move away from traditional news media and how it impacts Roxanne's decision to seek a new career.

Christina and Roxanne eat doughnuts and bitch about municipal planning

A Christina POV watching Megamind and Roxanne flirt/have awkward moments/dance around the Thing via a crack in the office door

A Christina and some other person in city hall epsitolary fic told via emails reporting on Megarox developments to the person running the pool and slowly getting more invested in these morosexuals getting together.

Megamind coming to find Roxanne for game night and finding her sacked out on the couch because being Mayor is HARD and napping on the floor beside her because being a hero is hard too

An absolute fuckton of hypnosis kink

Roxanne using her mayoral powers to address the fact that Megamind and Minion were raised in a prison and NOT ON MY WATCH THERE WILL BE REPERCUSSIONS AND WE ARE GONNA ADDRESS SOME SHIT

#Megamind #Megamind rules #megamind vs the doom syndicate #bug thoughts #someone save my girl she doesn't deserve to be sidelined for a kid character #Keiko is fine she is just IN THE WAY #shoo child the adults need to have nasty sex on the control desk

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lovejosephquinn · 1 year

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Authors Note: It's getting intense now, hope you're ready for the rollercoaster ride you're about to go on for part three! This has took me 7 hours on and off and I'm pretty proud of this series to say the least. Still Wes' number one fan btw. Please feel free to leave a comment or reblog if you're enjoying it, also if you want adding to the tag list for future parts/updates just lmk 🥰

Summary: Joe and reader have never seen eye to eye, growing up together and even further along the line in adulthood. There’s always been something lurking in the back of their minds. It couldn’t be, they share a mutual hatred and can’t stand the sight of one another. Surely, it’s been a long time coming but will the tension finally break into something more beautiful? Time tells all truths.

Under 18's DNI. Warnings: Angst, a worried reader and a whole load of smutty smut throughout Word Count: 6.3k

Taglist: @eddiemunson-mylove @daleyeahson @ali-r3n @quinnypixie @thefemininemystiquee @winchester-angel @ayooooo0 @wonderheartz @avobabe87 @palomahasenteredthechat @chickennug90 @emma77645 @pepsimunson @figmentofquinn @ches-86 @sugarheart-riot @shawnamae87 @joeqnz @kayleeelena97 @etherealglimmer @birdysaturne @freakymunson @aol19 @coley0823 @lma1986 @eddiesgirls12 @poisonedluv @aysheashea @credulouskhaleesi @xlilithb @tlclick73 @siriuslysmoking @miserybeans @haylaansmi

Part 1 ✨ Part 2 ✨ Part 3 ✨ Part 4

"On your knees." You wouldn't usually answer to such a demand, but for Joe you knew you couldn't refuse. A dominating, demeaning and beautiful looking man giving you the eye, forcing you to do as your told when you pause for a second, standing before him naked and for the taking. "Are you deaf? I said on your fucking knees."

"Make. Me." You didn't know why you dared to even try to disobey, maybe you wanted him to corrupt you more than he already had.

It was both the right and wrong move to make, Joe's hand came around to grip your hair up into a ponytail, twirling you around until you fell backwards into him, his other hand cupped itself around your throat, lifting your face up so you were compelled to be face to face at an awkward angle.

"When you're with me, you will do as you're fucking told." The grip tightened making your lips part straining for the oxygen you were now lacking in your lungs. "Got it?" You struggled to nod but you managed it slightly, obviously pleasing him when you felt Joe grind the length of his cock between your ass cheeks. "You look so cute when you're vulnerable." He smirked. It haunted you everywhere.

Joe let go of your throat and you were instantly swung back around to look towards him front ways on, your hair was still very much intact in his clenched fist. As he pulled it downward, you had no choice to be dragged in turn, your knees slapping to the laminated flooring beneath you, slight pain stinging onto the bruises you knew which would consume your legs hours after.

"Well well well, isn't that the prettiest sight I ever did see." Joe hummed as he slapped his cock onto your lips. "Open up for me beautiful, I wanna fuck your mouth." You decided on this occasion not to challenge him, probably better that you didn't after the minimal punishment you received for not submitting the first time.

As he pushed in a few inches, you felt the thickness of his cock stretch through your lips, inviting itself down towards your throat, you took a breath in, bracing yourself for the moment it made contact with your tonsils.

Breaking the tension before you could even get to the point of no return, your phone began to buzz, the irritating tone playing over and over again, radiating through your ear drums; a slight PTSD feeling. "What's that?" Joe took his cock straight from you, leaving your mouth feeling direly empty. With a sigh of what you could only describe as a cock block, you got up from your knees running over to attempt to stop the unbearable nose. "It's my alarm."

Your body came alive, consciously opening your eyes and then closing them again, realising that it was absolutely your alarm tone, alerting you wake the fuck up, ugh. You stretched the entirety of your body, a few clicks of your bones here and there from being in the same position for the few hours sleep you'd managed to get. You moved your arm out of the comfort of your warm sheets to slap your hand down on the stop button. Once you'd managed to finally get it terminate, you accidentally knocked it off of the bedside table and it hit the floor the same way you recollected your knees doing.

Not. Another. Fucking. Dream.

Not only did the thoughts of the last two dreams you've had in 48 hours come into play, it was also the sheer embarrassment and memory of Wesley catching you outside of their flat in the early hours of this morning, every one of these things now consuming over you into one horrendously torturous headache. You could picture perfectly his face the moment he saw you half bent attempting to rush back into your safe space, a place where you could think out loud; but it was all too much in slow motion and now Wesley had this big secret of yours in the palm of his hands. He could and probably would tell Joe of what happened, you knew you would have to face the vile thought of it at some point; but you took a deep breath and thought to yourself: I'll cross that bridge when it comes to it.

You felt just as revolting as you had done the previous night, fantasising about Joe in such a way; but you couldn't even begin to fathom an excuse of why it was becoming a regular occurrence. You had to put two and two together, was it completely possible to have a crush on someone that you hated? You needed to shake off the thought, but you were completely intrigued by the new feeling. It was completely obvious that the feeling was not and would never be a mutual one, so you could just continue to dream about him and that's all it would ever be; nothing more and nothing less.

It was something that would make the headlines in your very own news broadcast. The girl that hated the boy all her life and now finally comes to admit that the reason she's hated him all this time was because she wanted to get in his pants, or in short; the girl likes the boy. Who would ever admit such a crime? It felt as though it was one after all. Had someone put a curse upon you to gain sudden emotion towards Joseph Quinn? Or were you truly just growing out of your hateful advances towards him.

You forced yourself up and out of bed, nothing left to do but get on with your day; the sheer thought of it made you feel even more exhausted than you already were. You moved to the bathroom, clinging your hands to the edge of the sink as you took one look at yourself in the mirror, immediate nausea hitting you square in the stomach from your head repeatedly telling you that Wesley had told Joe about you listening in to him and his one night stand.

"Stop worrying about it Y/N, what's the worst that could happen?" You give yourself a pep talk before twisting the tap and splashing cold water over your face, relieving some of the symptoms that arose with the sickening ambience which you were pretty sure was on it's way to overpowering you.

Everything you forced yourself to do to get over the worry of last night was an impossible task; the very ordeal was held above your head like a constant rain cloud with no escape until you had at least faced Wesley again, maybe he had forgotten or maybe you were just stupid for trying to make yourself believe such a thing. It seemed like you had not got a choice in what you thought now; Joe was stuck in the forefront of your mind. These mixed up and down right freaky feelings were starting to put you in a chokehold, you knew you must maintain your reputation around him in keeping the whole enemy situation a thing, you couldn't let your guard slip, not now.

The reason had clearly been there all along, how you were connected by fate, despising one another with no apparent logic as to why you did, you'd gone through nearly all your life bumping into him at one time or another and now all of a sudden you lived across a hallway from him; surely it was a sign. There was only one problem however, Joe would never feel the same way about you. You'd put on the façade for too many years to be able to develop anything from whatever feud formed between you.

The only rational thing to do now was to fall onto your sofa, hide yourself away and maybe scream into your cushion a little bit; it worked for other problems in the past so why not this one?

There was no denying you felt a little better after that, yet the sound coming from outside averted your attention straight back to it all. You could make out the familiar sound of Joe and Wesley's front door opening and the bimbo giggling just a few feet away from yours. You made a bee line for the peep hole which had become very much your own spying object. You lifted your feet to manage a look through it with ease, each of you knew this was only a one night stand, but only one of you hoped that it wouldn't be. She was in an eager and desperate attempt to keep him in the hallway and clearly not wanting to say goodbye, Joe had other ideas. She was on her tip toes just as you were, her arms wrapped around the back of his neck as she giggled whilst he made a subtle attempt at stepping her back into the corridor when she'd took two steps forward.

"Do I have to go?" She giggled, doing that whole innocent girl act which made you cringe in the worst of ways.

"I've got stuff to do, I'll call you though." There it was, the confirmation of a one night stand, I'll call you is a way of kindly insinuating for the other to piss off and I'll never see you again unless it's for a booty call. Joe removed her arms that were attached with her all her might, as she remained leaning upward she made a move for his lips to give him a goodbye kiss, yet before she got at least half way there, Joe was slowly closing the door in her face.

"I'll see you soon then." She grinned, a slight nerving in her voice obviously upset and bitter that she'd been another victim of the charm that Joe's whole aura gave off. You watched her until she was out of your sight, looking back a couple of times in hope that maybe he'd reopen the door and change his mind about her leaving and suddenly want her, need her. Of course he didn't. You quit your almost stalking behaviour, picking at the skin of your thumbs anxiously as your thoughts continued getting the better of you.

Finally managing to pluck up the strength, you pushed yourself into the bathroom, turning on the shower to get ready for the day ahead. You were reliving the dreams again when you found your thighs clenching together, hearing Joe behind you with his clear instructions after you refused to listen the first time. You tilted your head back, letting the water run warm on your face, your lips parted a little as you attempted to breathe through it. Your body took control of you, your hand slowly touching yourself up before slotting between your slit, you rubbed a little, bringing your head forward to gaze down at what you had started. You bit down on your bottom lip, deciding to just let yourself go wild; you deserved a little fun after the situations you'd found yourself in lately. You moved your legs to stand a little apart from each other so that you could find the ache you craved to be played with. Shivers ran up and down your spine, the mix of pleasure as your fingertips brushed against your clit with the warm water and steam running from the showerhead just added to the eroticism. You were just missing one thing, him.

You closed your eyes in the hope that the mirage of Joe would appear in front of you and as if by magic, your head adhered to your wishes. The euphoria became all too real as Joe's hand now mirrored that of yours, rubbing effortlessly, his forehead pressed against yours as he watched you fall apart with the way he expertly stroked your sensitive area. You swore you could hear the sound of his raspy voice in your ear, telling you to let go, to give yourself up for him. This version of Joe adored you and would do anything to make you feel good and the realisation that this would never be the case made you all the more eager to enjoy this moment.

The satisfaction you longed for finally hit you as you moaned out his name way louder than you could have thought possible; your thighs making an attempt to clench together but straining to stay apart whilst you rid out your orgasm. "Keep them open, I want to see you squirm." There was the voice in your head again, the perfectly gravelly southern accent which once you detested but now sent an unfeasible amount of butterflies both ascending from your stomach and descending back down again once they'd reached their bee line for your heart strings.

Your eyes opened and yet again, you were alone and without the man you were beginning to hanker for. You finished off your shower, giving yourself a good wash down, scrubbing at your hair which had lugged up during your bit of sleep you managed to get. It was an absolute understatement to suggest that you weren't exhausted, you really were, you felt like you could genuinely sleep for a week.

You managed a bowl of cereal and a cup of tea, your towel still intact around your head with your dampened hair wrapped securely inside of it, you'd put on your comfy clothes from the night before and would decide if it was even worth getting dressed properly later. You contemplated on what more you could do to take your mind off of Joe, you felt like you had fantasised enough for one day. Looking out the window, the weather was an absolute no go, it was pouring it down with rain, the water smashing against the glass made you shake your head, reassurance that you weren't about to be going out anywhere anytime soon.

You took yourself off to bed, grabbing your blanket which was neatly folded on your set of drawers for when you required it; this was one of those days. Scrolling aimlessly through your phone as most people do when it's their only cure for boredom, it wasn't long until you caught your eyes shutting, straining them to keep yourself awake was way too much of a task. So you gave up, unwrapping the towel from your head, rubbing any excess water you had left and threw it to the floor. Laying on your side, you locked your phone, keeping it next to you and shut your eyes, away from reality and away from the fatigue, your last thought was that you assured yourself you would awake feeling fresh and recomposed.

Your dream was vivid this time around. You were stood in a huge field filled with hundreds of people that you had never seen before, yet there was a gap making a straight line between you and Joe. You were both stood facing one another, chests puffing in and out with your heart beating overtime at the sight of one another. No matter how much you tried, every step forward you would take towards him, Joe would take one step back, yet he'd still be staring right at you. Was this a metaphor for never having Joe the way you wanted him? If anything were to happen would you just be like the girl he basically kicked out of his home this morning?

Joe began moving back faster until he was disappearing into the crowd of people, the space closing of your views between each other, trapping you amongst everybody else. You could see glimpses of his faces behind the strangers that moved around you, but you couldn't find anyway to get close enough. You shouted his name, but no sound came out, just the hustle and bustle of every one else's voices seemed to bellow over whatever noises did emerge from you. Running did you no favours, it was a heavy sensation like chains were wrapped around your ankles as you kept tripping over your own to feet. You got no where and before you knew it; you had completely lost him.

You sat up in a panic, your breath heaving from your parted lips as you looked around the room, no daylight to be seen, how long had you been sleeping for? You felt better for it anyway, it didn't matter to you right now that your body clock would probably be fucked up and you wouldn't sleep as well tonight, you were just glad that you had finally got some rest. You lifted yourself up in your newfound mood, putting on some music onto your Alexa, you glanced out of your bedroom to window to find it had stopped raining. The noise of the tunes playing in the background had you swaying your hips from side to side, you were in the mood for a drink or two, it was Saturday night after all, wouldn't it be rude not to partake?

You danced on over to your phone, tapping it to see the time. 7:00pm. You gave yourself an hour and a half time frame to get ready and then you spontaneously decided that you would venture out to the local pub around the corner from your complex. Venturing into the kitchen, you opened the fridge to find the now chilled wine that you had saved from the other night, no need for a glass you thought, you would chug from the bottle. Heading back for your bedroom and sitting down at your makeshift vanity mirror you began to make yourself look human again. It'd been so long since you got ready like this, the upbeat music seemed to help dissolve all of your present issues in your head and replace them with the lyrics to the song, almost as instantaneously as your voice belted them out.

You did a full face of natural looking make up adorned with a smoky eye, curled your hair leaving them intact whilst you slipped on your ripped jeans and a long sleeved crop top. Going back to the mirror you combed through the thick ringlets to let them become softer waves. You added jewellery, spritzed yourself with your favourite perfume, downing at least a third of the bottle of wine so that you had some liquid courage inside of you to help you settle in the pub quicker once you got there.

You went into your wardrobe to pull out your bag you used when you go out out, put on your trusty old faithful heels, doing a final check to make sure you had turned off all of the plugs and moved back through to the kitchen to forage through the cupboards to find something that you could shot before you set off. You found a bottle of vodka right at the back of one of the shelves, it was absolutely not like you to just undo the cap and take a swig of the sterile tasting spirit, your face scrunched up as it burnt your throat when you swallowed a gulp of it down. It made you feel quite sick in all fairness but you washed down that feeling with another shot of it straight into your mouth, a burp ascending quicker than you would have liked once you had ingested the last drop, the burn was non existent the second time around and you felt a little tipsy by the time you had found the front door, shutting it behind you and repeating over and over to yourself to lock it behind you.

It were as if by magic that you caught sight of your next door neighbour leaving to quite obviously go out to do the same thing you were doing, how convenient. "Dan!" You shouted, he turned around getting a glimpse of who had just called his name out, a smile broke out, reserved just for you and you alone. Dan was quite an attractive man, probably about ten years older than you but a tall, dark and handsome kind of vibe was good enough, it didn't make you mind the obvious age gap.

"Hey Y/N! Where you heading?" He waited for you to catch up before you began to walk to the lifts together.

"Was just going to test the waters at the pub around the corner." You replied, swaying a little from the alcohol inevitably making it's way into your system.

"All on your lonesome?" He chuckled, resting his hand onto your shoulder to keep you still.

"Yeah, you?" You smiled sweetly.

"Guess that means we can go and have a drink together then huh?" The lift pinged and the doors opened as Dan gestured for you to go through first, pressing the ground floor button, you cleared your throat as you watched the doors shut.

"I don't see why not." Dan pressed his hand to your back, ushering you to go out of the lift before him again and then onto opening the main complex doors for you, it was gentlemanly gesture after gentlemanly gesture; sweet little things that you noticed about him.

You made brief, short conversation as you made the few minute journey to the bar and sure enough, it was as busy as you thought it would be. You moved along the crowd of people, wedging yourself where you could at the bar to order your drinks.

"What do you want?" Dan almost had to shriek into your ear for you to be able to hear what he said over the top of everyone.

"Vodka and coke please." You may as well of sticked to the spirits, you had already made an excellent job of polishing off a bottle of wine and the few shots you dared yourself to do.

There was no forced chatter between you both once you had gotten your beverages, you found a table with two high stools to sit at together. One drink together turned into several and a few hours later, you were fully in the zone now; drunk and entirely happy. Feeling free of the irritations of what you could consider real life. You moved your eyes along the crowd, people watching whilst Dan excused himself to go to the toilet. You double took as soon as you found the pair of eyes you didn't wish to see tonight. Joe. He was filling his attention span straight towards you, trying to peer at who was sat with you. You flittered your eyes away with the hope that he had not seen you make a couple of seconds of full eye contact with him.

Dan returned back to his seat and you consciously watched through your field of vision at Joe furrowing his brow seeing him of all people joining you. You decided to play this to your advantage to see if he would keep watching or would leave you to it seeing you preoccupied and happy with your company. It seemed to work, you managed to find Wesley stood next to him who scanned Joe's line of view to find you. He put his hand on his shoulder trying to recapture his attention off of you, there was instant refusal as Joe replied to him without even taking his forced stare away.

The considerable amount of alcohol in your system and the man you were pining for in your imagination was now wrapped around your little finger, you had Dan with you; it was time to make an obvious flirt of yourself. The more you inflicted your touch upon Dan, whether it be stroking his arm or leaning into him and laughing at every joke he was pulling from his sleeve, it was driving Joe insane. You loathed every second of it yet the more you continued your act, the more it began to feel sincere, he was a really nice, palpable person and it made it more difficult to fake around him.

"Wanna get out of here?" Dan asked you straight, his hand firmly pressed against your leg and it seemed that the intention was there and he'd caught wind of your flirting, intending that you would accept his offer.

"Why not." You confirmed, picking up your bag from the table you jumped off of the stool. You looked back enough to watch Joe's emotion fully changing, deflating right in front of you. Wesley was still in a huge attempt to make him ignore what was happening in front of him, but he failed each time. Dan put his arm around you as you made your way out of the bar, you pretty much clung to him all the way back. You got to the hallway, stopping at his door and then entering right behind him. You got straight into it, Dan took a hold of your waist and leaned down pushing his lips onto yours. Your eyes were clenched shut and for a minute you imagined that it was Joe's lips connected to yours instead of his. A wave of disgust ravished over you and you tried to stop, but the more you leaned back the further he'd close the space again.

"D-Dan I-I-" He leaned back to his full height, looking at you concerned.

"Everything ok?" He asked, a little confused.

"I just can't go through with it, there's someone I think I like and I feel bad if I lead you on."

Dan let go of you, holding his hands up in the air. "No worries, we're friends though right?" Ever the gentleman he had proved himself to be, you leaned up to kiss his cheek, looking back with a nod and unsteady feet. "Thank you for understanding." With that, you left to return the few metres to your front door.

Closing it behind you, you sink down to the ground as tears seep from your eyes, you were going through every emotion that alcohol could possibly endure upon you tonight and it showed from the way you felt guilty for kissing someone else even though the realisation hit you that the man you actually wanted to do it with would never want or think the same. You attempted to get up from the floor, but fell straight back down again, using the front of your foot to push each heel off, you kicked them to either side of the room. Falling back only increased the tears, you felt useless and small. They say drunken minds speak sober thoughts and in your case this had never been more true.

You were startled as you overheard the sound of running from the outside getting closer and closer, followed by the bashing of a fist just above you. A huff and a sigh, managing to get yourself to your feet whilst feeling slightly unnerved at the strenuousness and eagerness to get your attention. You moved the door handle down slowly, creaking it open to look through. Joe.

"What?" Well done, you started that extremely well.

"I figured out your problem, your problem is with me." Joe pushed against the door, leaning against where you held it, you cold have easily let go and permitted him to fall flat on his face, but you kept a good grip on it.

"God you're a fucking genius." You sarcastically hissed back at him. The stench of alcohol and cigarettes leaked from you both, alcohol was fuelling you both to state your truths, just a shame you couldn't go the right way about it and had to maintain your normal way of detesting him. You moved away from the door letting it swing open as Joe moved a couple of steps in.

"There she is. You know you're the biggest most pretentious self centred bitch I've ever had the misfortune of meeting." Those words cut you deep, fresh wounds in the pit of your stomach which destroyed the butterflies you had been feeling previously over Joe only hours ago.

"Was that supposed to be an insult?" You fired back, scowling at him for not knowing he was breaking your heart and only pushing your walls up further.

"Nope, just the truth."

Before you could shoot a reply back to him, Wesley rushed in and looked between the two of you and the apprehension returned back from the locked part of your sober memory that it was possible that he had told Joe about catching you last night. Shit shit shit.

"Wesley will you get him away from me I-"

"Will you two stop fucking shouting it's the middle of the night and you've got the front door open to increase the volume for these poor people that live around us."

"He came to me and I don't know why." You ignored his plea for you both to shut the fuck up.

"Joe come on mate, let's leave her be."

"No we're having it out Wes, I can't be bothered with this shit anymore, she's been this way with me since school and I want to know what her problem is with me."

"It's just you." You hovered your finger from his head down to his feet, gesturing that it was nothing but that, you couldn't help your eyes following where your hand moved so you could get a good look at him despite your response.

"No excuse."

"Valid excuse."

"No it's not!" Joe raised his voice.

"Yes it is!" You raised yours a pitch louder.

"No it's n-"

"Oh my god, will you two just get it out your systems and fuck already? You're both being ridiculous." Wesley stood and quite enjoyed the comical way both of your jaws fell to the floor in unison. Having had his moment, with such authority, he slammed the door shut to make a point of his argument towards you and Joe.

"So come on, tell me the real reason you clearly despise the very thought of me?" Joe put one foot in front of the other, striding over towards you like he was on a mission, making you be the one to step backwards until your back hit the counter top with a thud. His hands placed themselves either side of you, trapping you completely. You'd never been this close to him before in real life, seeing the way his doe eyes were wide, you had never realised how stunning the colour of them were; he was exceptionally more beautiful up close.

"I don't have a reason, I don't know you." Your voice faltered at the way he stood over you, making you feel so small.

"Do you want to know me?"

You shook your head, lips parting to suggest otherwise but you didn't speak a word.

"Yes or no?" His face became impossibly close as he craned his neck down to just above your level.

You shook your head again, this time slower, then the gap closed. His mouth on yours without a final thought, the feeling was unreal, better than your dreams perceived. His lips were soft and angled perfectly against yours. None of you broke the kiss, it just got mor heated the longer it went on, Joe's hand came up to firmly grip against the back of your neck, ensuring you weren't going anywhere even if you wanted to. Your heads tilted opposite ways, deepening the kiss, feeling the tip of his tongue meet with yours, he tasted like tequila and cigarettes which made you dart your own muscle in motion with his, it was absolutely exhilarating.

Joe made his hands get to work whilst the heat between you continued to stir rampantly. Feeling him unbuttoning your jeans made you mimic his action as you began to unbutton his trousers. Joe made the first attempt to break the kiss as you removed your own clothes, instantly naked before each other, Joe took a hungry moment to check you out thoroughly.

"You might be a bitch, but you're fucking sexy underneath all of that." A backhanded compliment but it made your cunt twitch all the same. Joe picked you up by your waist, lifting you onto the countertop so that you were now at a face to face level, with better access he pushed his lips to you again, your legs spreading wide so that he could stand between them.

His big hands wandered up and down, scanning the length of your spine allowing goose bumps to be left in his tracks. Joe pushed you back in an eager state and your response was to sit your feet up, arching your thighs out further so that he could touch you with ease. You let out a lengthy moan into Joe's mouth as he pushed two of his thick fingers inside of you, stretching you out in a means to get you ready for the main event. He thrusted them in and out of you in a painfully slow manner, but made sure you felt the whole length of the by allowing his fist to be pressed up to your entrance.

You whimpered as they tapped at your cervix, curling upward when he got to it each time, his pace picking up with every jab. You squealed when a third finger made it's way through, it made Joe bite down on your lip as if you were driving him crazy with the noises you were making. "You're so fucking tight." He moaned along with you as his other hand was fisting away at his cock, spasming in his hand from how turned on he felt.

"Cum for me. I wanna be fucking you senseless in the next few minutes." His forehead pressed against yours, looking down to monitor the work he was putting in to make you come undone. Joe hit a particular spot just the side of your cunt, making you clench around him, back arching upward as you came all over his digits.

"Fuck yes." Joe sounded out, removing them from you instantly and grabbing your hand making you slip a little so he could pull you from the countertop.

"Bend over." You stood gawking at the way his cock twitched in his grip, you were mesmerised by it, not what you were expecting, thick in girth and just above average in size, it had a slight curve to it, uncut and just overly perfect; you should've known.

"Did you hear me?" He snarled.

"Evidently not." Your sarcastic response got his attention. Low and behold your dream became reality and he gripped his hands onto your shoulders, swerving you around and pushing your head downward so that you were in the position he wanted you in.

Your heart was pounding, you quickly remembered you were in the same spot where you were in your first dream, everything was coming to light and it was just as you had wished it to be. If only it were better circumstances than clearly a hate fuck. Joe spread your ass cheeks before slapping his cock against it, biting down on his lip, he let them go, caging his length between them and grinding up and down letting his foreskin move a little making him unleash a wild and wicked grunt. Replacing his cock to position himself at your entrance, you were met with a cursive spank to one of your ass cheeks and then another, matching the slight red mark he left on the other.

"Beg for it." He said.

"Never-" You replied.

Without hesitation, he didn't let you get another word in edge ways before he slammed into you, the wetness you had already created together made him slide in with ease and you took every inch of his cock instantly, dainty tears creeping in the corner of your eyes from the sheer stretch. He railed into you instantly, leaning over to bury one hand underneath you, seamlessly rubbing at your clit to get even more of a reaction out of you than he had already gotten. Joe clearly knew that he wouldn't be lasting long from the way he went about it.

His hand pulled onto your hair, making the contact between you even closer, his sack was launching upward, slapping against you, his hand furiously massaged against you and his cock infiltrated you good and proper, you were in a state of ecstasy which you never wanted to stop. Joe pushed on as much as he could, yet the harder he went, the more he concentrated in not blowing his load too soon. He moaned out your name a couple of times which sent you over the edge into your second orgasm.

As soon as you clenched around his length, Joe knew he was a goner. He pulled out of you and released straight onto your ass, hissing profanities at the top of his lungs at the over stimulation he was receiving from ultimate pleasure.

You reached over for the tea towel at the side of you, throwing it back for Joe to be able to clean you up, he wiped over you briefly and began to get dressed instantly. You were both ridiculously out of breath, silent and awkward. Understandable as the first real contact between the two of you happened to be this way.

You made the effort to get back into your clothes to make you feel at least a little less demoralised. You weren't sure if you really did like him, if it was only a lust for Joe that you were craving. You weren't kidding nobody, not even yourself.

"I'll ask you again." Joe broke the imposed mutism. "Do you want to know me?"

You made a farced attempt to scowl at him, you shook your head. Brushing past him and opening the front door to signal for him to leave, you'd had about all that you could take for now. Both figuratively and literally.

You moved your hand to him and wafted towards the door. Joe grabbed his shoes not even bothering to put them back on seeing as he didn't have much a distance to go back to his own place.

"Yes-" Joe paused.

You sighed.

"Or-" He swallowed a gulp of saliva.

"No."

"I hate you Joseph Quinn."

"No you don't." Joe smirked at you as he walked away, looking back at you to press his ear against his front door, another malicious snigger erupting from his throat.

"I assure you, I'm far from hated." He winked at you, unlocking the door and closing it behind him.

Shit. He knows.

#joseph quinn fluff #joseph quinn smut #joseph quinn angst #joseph quinn imagine #joseph quinn x reader

157 notes · View notes

blorb-el · 7 months

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Don’t know if you made a post on this but what’s your opinion on DCAU Clark and how unapproachable(?) they made him in the later JL/JLU series without ever resolving it? Like I know the Cadmus arc hinges on him never considering himself a possible threat but it seems there was room for no much introspection outside a couple moments (that were later backtracked).

I've had like 6 half finished posts about this buried deep in the drafts for a year because I have capital B Brain Rot about this, but every time I tried to write it out I got six sentences in and wanted to rewatch the entire DCAU in order to get my facts straight. This time I'm resisting the urge, so forgive me if I forget specific episodes

Also, unfortunately for you, it’s nanowrimo, which means my brain is in Type All The Words Mode, and not Communicate Effectively and Succinctly Mode, and also I need a break from WSBF chapter 8, so. You’re getting a 3.5k essay sort of answering this question but not really. you will see

Thank you to my fellow lawyer for the defense of Rectangle Clark @januariat for helping to put this together

I do rewatch STAS and JL a fair amount, but much less JLU, so I actually don’t have much to say about the specific execution there. I’m planning on rewatching it soon. But for now…

To me it boils down to two answers. The Doylist answer, and what I think the writers really did have in mind, is that they came up with the Cadmus plot, knew it was an absolute banger of a storyline, and decided that it was worth compromising Superman's personality in order to write a good story. which is not something I can fault them for - as a fanfic writer, I make the same calculated tradeoffs every time I set out to write a fic. Characters are tools for narrative, even if these particular characters come with an additional weight of the tradition of collaborative storytelling that their most effective stories honor.

However, I do think it’s possible to, post-hoc, cobble together a Watsonian, narratively satisfying (if fucked up and sad) character arc for DCAU Clark if you also take STAS and JL into account. I think the key to understanding his character arc is his relationship with control. Throughout STAS, JL, and JLU, and then one more time in Batman Beyond for good measure, over and over again, he's manipulated and his powers and body are used as resources for other people. Obviously that’s not much of an excuse for becoming more authoritarian/overbearing/etc, Fascism Is Bad and I personally think a more IC superman would retreat more than double down (as in Kingdom Come), but looking at the totality of things that have happened to him before Cadmus, it's a little more understandable why he'd get close to snapping under the strain. Here's my personal reading of his arc, and the events that might have led to Clark behaving so irrationally in JLU.

cut for sheer length, but also mentions of manipulation, sexual assault, victim blaming, that sort of thing

One of the recurring themes in the DCAU is villains dehumanizing, depowering, and/or manipulating Clark. In STAS, Parasite, Lex via Bizarro, Talia and Ra’s al Ghul use him as a source for their own power. The Preserver and Maxima treat him like some exotic prize, disregarding his wishes. Jax-Ur and Mala use him and then betray him. But the most impactful, by far, is Darkseid.

In Apokolips Now, Darkseid defeats Clark, puts his bleeding body into public stocks, and drags him through the middle of Metropolis. Clark’s only rescued by the last minute intervention of the New Gods, and as a parting shot Darkseid murders Clark’s friend in front of everyone. Even though Clark prevents Earth from turning into Apokolips, it’s a huge emotional loss, and they don’t shy away from showing his rage and helplessness. But it’s when Darkseid returns in Legacy, the finale of STAS, that Clark’s life truly takes a turn for the worse.

Forgive me if this is all plot recap to you, anon, but I feel like a lot of people don’t know that STAS ends with Clark being mind controlled, heavily implied to be sexually assaulted, and forced to try to take over the Earth, killing god knows how many people in the process. When the military finally brings him down with a Kryptonite warhead and imprisons him, they nearly kill Supergirl in the process. Then Lex almost gives him a lethal injection, with a US general looking on, implying that the government approves of killing him. Lois breaks him out, he tries to get help for Kara from Dr. Hamilton, and then goes to Apokolips. Most fights in STAS have him shrug off blows. He ends this one bleeding from his mouth, looking almost dead. When he finally casts down Darkseid, tells the Hunger Dogs (the slaves on Apokolips) that they’re free… they turn away from Superman. They cluster around Darkseid to protect and heal him.

Those universal truths of a lot of Superman stories, that goodness and liberty and the American Way* always win? They don't in STAS. A representative of the US government (as far as he knows) has tried to kill him. He lost his temper and spoke in a harsh tone of voice once, because Kara was dying and he was hurt and desperate, and now his friend Dr. Hamilton, the man he trusted to repair the Kryptonian ship, study his body and his powers, one of the people who knew him best in STAS, is afraid of him - and, as we find out later, takes immediate, drastic, and violating action against Kara and against him. The series ends with the small town man standing on the roof of the Planet, hearing people hate and fear him, wondering how people will ever trust him again.

*I hate this phrase personally when used as a Superman Motto, but it's used here as a contrast to the fascistic imagery of Apokolips Now and Legacy (as well as Brave New World, which, hoo boy, we aren’t even getting into that one).

Six months (iirc) after the STAS finale, in Secret Origins, the US government has agreed to let a visibly older and wearier Superman help disarm the nuclear stockpile - only for this to backfire on him because it was a Plot by the White Martians. Clark’s let down the country again. He’s helped aliens invade again, and to make matters worse, he sped away in the middle of an attack to break into an official government facility to free J'onn. Clark founds the Justice League beginning from a place of personal failure, as a check on himself. Clark has power and wants to help people with it, but he’s been turned against people he cares about, and has twice now failed to protect the world. It’s worth noting that Legacy put him into the world stage; before, in STAS, I can’t think of any true worldwide threats besides maybe Jax-Ur and Mala.

Most of the rest of season 1 of JL isn’t particularly Clark-focused, although he does appear in a lot of episodes, but the themes of some of these episodes are potentially relevant to understanding his character later, so: brief bullet point summaries.

During In Blackest Night, Clark sees his respected colleague turn himself into an authority that turns out to be incompetent investigators looking for a scapegoat. Interesting. Surrendering to governmental authority/oversight didn’t turn out too well here.

During The Enemy Below, on Clark’s advice, Aquaman tries to solve his problems peacefully with diplomacy and is immediately shot in a life threatening assassination attempt. Peaceful diplomacy doesn't work so well for him.

During Injustice for All, Lex is dying of cancer. Clark tries to reach out and is rebuffed, with Lex going on to try to found a team to kill him and the rest of the League.

During Paradise Lost, Clark sees his respected colleague turn herself into the authorities and immediately get banished from her home for the crime of trying to save it with all the resources she had at her disposal. Interesting. Surrendering to governmental authority/oversight didn’t turn out too well here, again.

During War World, Clark’s again captured for exploitation. This is essentially a retread of The Main Man from STAS, doubling down on how some people see him as a thing to be exploited.

During Fury, Clark’s completely ineffective at preventing an attempted genocide of half the world’s population.

Season 2 opens with Twilight, one of the most important episodes for understanding Clark’s mindset during the Cadmus arc. Imagine, if you will, the above happening to you. Darkseid shows up at your workplace. And the man you’ve worked with the longest, your friend, your ally, tells you to cry him a river, build him a bridge, and get over it. Tells you to get over being brainwashed, manipulated, and humiliated. Tells you to get over having your broken and bleeding body paraded around the streets of Metropolis, tells you to get over having your friend killed in front of you for trying to defend you, tells you to get over almost getting your cousin killed. Sure, Brainiac is a planetary-scale threat; Darkseid and Apokolips are in real trouble. Clark was wrong to write off Apokolips and its people, and the League should absolutely have intervened in the situation. But the way Bruce went about it was… one of the harshest things DCAU Bruce has ever done, and one of the only times the narrative seems to actually agree that he was an asshole about it. And even then, you really need the context of STAS to understand why Clark is so furious and hurt in this scene.

Clark relents and goes along with Bruce’s plan to trust Darkseid, only to end up betrayed again, the whole ruse just another ploy for Brainiac to gain control of Clark, torture him, and use Clark’s body to upgrade himself. Clark had spared Darkseid back on Apokolips at the end of Legacy, on Kara’s advice. But now Darkseid’s come after him, again. Used him again to put not only Earth but who knows how many other worlds at risk, now that Brainiac’s even more powerful. It’s the downfall of Krypton, over and over again. And when Clark goes to end it, I think he doesn’t care that the base is about to go, as long as Darkseid goes down with it. That isn’t a price Bruce is willing to pay, so he teleports Clark out. And he’s wrong, again. “No one could have survived that.” Well… no, Bruce. Darkseid does, and Clark knows it.

During Tabula Rasa, Lex manipulates Amazo the exact way he tried to use Bizarro. Clark once again fails to guard against a terrible, potentially world-ending threat, and in fact makes the situation worse by his very presence.

Then we come to Only a Dream, another key episode in understanding this version of Superman. Clark’s deepest fear is that his powers will keep on growing beyond his ability to control them, eventually destroying everything around him. In his nightmare He kills Lois and Jimmy, destroys the Daily Planet, and grows into a brutish, hulking, clumsy figure, first crying out for someone to help him, and then losing hope. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone. He goes back to the Kent farm and curls up in the spaceship in the fetal position, convinced that he’s only going to hurt anyone who tries to help. Is it any wonder, since that’s literally what’s happened to him in Legacy? Is it any wonder that he’d want to give up, to retreat? If we’re to take the World of Cardboard speech literally, he’s already having to focus on this restraint every day, in every interaction. This is my personal explanation/hc as to why in every single fight he lets himself get knocked around a bit first; he’s calibrating how hard he can hit back without doing irrevocable damage. Anyway. Deeply fucked up 2 minutes of horror. Wish they’d explored this a little bit more in later seasons.

Then, directly after this, it’s A Better World. After we’ve just seen that his worst nightmare is hurting people by being unable to control his powers, we come face to face with a world where he’s hurt people by the precise and controlled application of his powers. Justice Lord Clark uses the same Superman Robots we saw Kara use in Legacy. He’s become quite adept at his lobotomization techniques. Later on in JLU, we see ‘our’ universe’s Clark attempt to lobotomize Doomsday the exact same way Justice Lord Superman did. Again, Clark fails to protect the world from himself, and to make matters worse, the guy to save the day is Lex Luthor. I’d be a little miffed if the maniac who wants to kill me so so bad turned out to be instrumental in saving the world and now I owe him some unspecified favor in the future. Clark’s met with failure and distrust trying to fix things his way, now he tries to do things in an uncharacteristically sneaky way and… gets met with more dislike and distrust.

Eclipsed continues this trend of hurting his friends; he’s temporarily mind controlled and hurts Wally.

In The Terror Beyond, he fucks up and puts the world in danger again, all because from his point of view, he tried to prevent Solomon Grundy being manipulated and used (like he himself has been used over and over again).

In Secret Society, his frustration comes to a peak, amplified by Grodd’s telepathic manipulation. He’s been trying to do his best, but he snaps that he’s had better luck fighting armies alone (dubious plural there, but he did pretty much evaporate an army in Legacy, so at least once, ok) and that he’s had to hold back his abilities in order to be on the League. Again if we take the World of Cardboard speech at face value, this is true, and we see it in the episode when he accidentally hurts Shayera with heat vision despite shouting a warning beforehand. It’s also telling how other members of the League have the ability to constantly voice doubts about its usefulness and cohesiveness as an organization (hi Bruce) but when he expresses the same doubts everyone gasps. When he expresses his doubt and frustration, when he steps away, the organization that’s collectively saved the world several times falls apart; they’re reliant on him, and he has to be aware of the entire existence of the League as an extra burden of responsibility.

Since both this episode and the Cadmus arc as a whole are meant to show his flaws as a leader, it’s worth examining the foundations of that leadership as established in the DCAU. Clark’s the leader of the League, but narratively, Bruce is its brains and its ethics and Wally is its heart. As a result, Clark is filling the role of leader of the League without the narrative scaffolding that gives him the respect comics incarnations of the character are generally accorded. (I’m admittedly only drawing here from the JLA runs I’ve personally read, Morrison/Porter 90’s JLA and the early Fox/Sekowsky 60’s JLA). Superman might not technically be the First Superhero according to these continuities, but he is respected as though he is (and as we comic book nerds know him to be). The League in these comics treat him as something of an ethical standard bearer, a primus inter pares, as well as being the muscle. In the DCAU, Batman, having founded the DCAU with BTAS, is the First Superhero, and the entire plotline of the Justice Lords centers Wally as the emotional anchor of the team. Clark doesn’t have that pre-established stature. What really qualifies him to be the leader, besides the fact that Bruce doesn’t want to do it? His position seems precarious, relying more on Superman’s pre-established reputation than his actual onscreen characterization. Centering Bruce and Wally are legitimate creative choices I don’t even necessarily disagree with, but it means Clark-as-leader functions quite differently than more traditional JL structures.

Hereafter is something of a healing point for him. It’s a little fucked up that Superman almost bashes Vandal Savage’s head in with a rock, but you take what you can get at this point. He comes out of it fine, but everyone else is forced to reckon with what he means to them. Hereafter coming directly after Secret Society is a very good reunification for the League. Shame about what’s gonna happen in three episodes.

In Wild Cards, he’s useful to address the immediate threat but ineffective to stop the real, countrywide (worldwide?) threat. (I should note that of course I don’t expect every episode’s threat to be solved by Clark; I’m just pointing out a trend that I think his character would perceive as failures on his part. If the writers ever let him reflect.)

JL ends as it began, with another massive alien invasion that Clark helped facilitate in Starcrossed, by working with the Thanagarians during the first part of their plan. As a fellow exile, a fellow alien, he’s hurt and angry with Shayera’s betrayal… even though, in the end, in probably one of his best moments, he votes to allow her to stay in the League.

(Sidenote: almost every interaction Clark has had with other aliens have been despotic societies or individuals: Jax-Ur and Mala, Apokolips, Maxima’s planet, War World, and now Thanagar. The Guardians built robotic police/foot soldiers to enforce their will. Even New Genesis is ruled by a benevolent dictator. Martian society is nearly extinct, overrun by… more alien despots, surviving only with J'onn. Argoan society is nearly extinct, surviving only with Kara. At least Lobo isn’t a fascist? Small consolation.)

JLU begins after a short time skip. I’m not as familiar with JLU episodes since it’s been a while since I’ve watched them, so I’m not going to attempt an episode-by-episode breakdown. Also this post is already way too long. But the point of this post is to look at Clark’s overall arc until this point, and see how it informs his decisions in JLU. For a more JLU-specific informed point of view check this post by januariat!

What we have is a man who naturally wants to take responsibility on his own shoulders, a doer and a fixer who wants to get into the ring and solve problems, who wants to use his abilities to help, being confronted over and over again with a string of personal failures, manipulation, and betrayal. When he tries to set a boundary about not being willing to help the man who took over his body and forced him against his home in Twilight, he’s told to get over it by his most trusted ally. When his deepest fears are revealed in Only a Dream, we see them having been already realized in Legacy. And when he’s presented with his dream of a peaceful life farming, a family that loves him, and no responsibility to save the world, it’s ripped away from him in For The Man Who Has Everything.

Ultimately, I don’t have a good answer for exactly how he doubles down in JLU S2, because I need to rewatch all of it with this understanding of the character. But I think you can see the shape of a traditional Superman character in there, trying and trying again and again to do the right thing, putting himself on the line - only instead of learning from his experiences and letting them inform his actions, he’s carrying the weight of years of suppressed trauma while trying to hold up the entire Justice League. This long, long run of failure, manipulation, betrayal, and distrust adds up. And there’s only so much weight one person can hold on their shoulders, even if they are a Superman.

(And then as the nice little capstone to his story, in Batman Beyond's The Call, he’s kept under alien mind control for years! With the way Starro clings to his chest, he probably hasn’t been touched in years! Trapped in his own mind, forced to watch as yet another alien species uses him as a tool to hurt his own teammates and invade the Earth! And that’s the last we see of DCAU Clark! What a fun little ending to his character arc that doesn’t make me go insane whenever I think about it. Very very very normal about this.)

#id in alt text #like i said. brainrot. i'm so normal about clark kent #you really do have to like. put this arc together in your own head though. they did NOT put this on screen.#long post #dc meta #DCAU #STAS #JL/JLU #clark kent #my fucking kingdom for a fic where j'onn helps him develop mental shielding against mind control. and also gets him therapy. one day #my writing #<fuck it. putting it in the writing tag so i can find it again #thanks for the ask :^)

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viperwhispered · 12 days

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How Not to Be Swept Under - behind the scenes

So, since I’ve been enabled (ty @scint1llat3), some thoughts on the process behind How Not to Be Swept Under. Spoilers for the series, obviously, and also below the cut for length (oop I sure had a few things to say).

Too Much

So, like I said in the notes for this, hearing Ylivoimainen by KUUMAA got me thinking of Jamil being overwhelmed by his feelings. In the song the singer is talking about how you’re overpowering, in the sense that he can’t stand against you, and how the singer would do anything to get to you. Now, while I didn’t think Jamil would be quite that drastic - man’s far too aware of consequences and things - I still wanted to explore what it would mean for Jamil to deal with such feelings.

Iirc, already when I posted this I was pretty sure I wanted to continue the fic. Looking back on the file, I did have the beginnings of the second part there already, but decided that leaving the first part at the moment of realization would be the most impactful.

Ngl, I kinda really love the line “No, if anything, you were quite…inoffensive.”, which is at the end of that part where Jamil’s trying to figure out why you have him on edge. Yes he’s not annoyed (quite the opposite if he’d realize it) but somehow you sure bother him. Wonder why.

“And the way you had looked at him, like-” In my head, this would’ve continued something along the lines of “like you cared for him” - but of course Jamil’s not going to let such conclusions come out, especially with Kalim interrupting him, too.

And for “Surely he was not that stupid. After all, there was no way-”, I was thinking something like “there was no way he had a crush on you”, but, again, Jamil sure isn’t going that far at this point. No way.

Of course, for all these, I don’t mean to say that what I thought when writing is the only way to read it, far from it. But it is what I was thinking at that time.

And that shit in the end? Yeah he’s not willing to put words to it, even in his own mind, but he can’t quite deny what is going on, even if he refuses to face it.

Too Hard

Jamil’s solution to uncomfortable feelings: let’s pretend they don't exist. That’s definitely gonna go fine 🙃

Reader, meanwhile, definitely is aware of their own feelings at this point - they were already acting on them in the first part, after all. So Jamil really is starting on a back foot here, in the sense that he’s still trying to figure (or avoid figuring) out his own thoughts and feelings, while reader’s feelings are turning into action.

However, Jamil’s standoffishness / avoidance here is throwing reader for a loop. I struggled quite a bit with how I should portray this - I didn’t want reader to just go “I’m sad because you’re distant” because you need to be really close for that kind of vulnerability, I feel - certainly closer than these two are. So there was a version where Jamil overheard Kalim comforting reader about it, and another one where Jamil heard just the wrong bit of what you said to Kalim.

In the end, I’d like to think I struck out a reasonable balance between making it clear enough what was going on between you and Jamil, while also not making them too good at communicating.

Ngl, here and throughout I so loved writing Jamil’s thoughts, going through the denial while also peppering in the bits that were quite telling enough of what he actually felt. He might not be admitting it to himself yet, but also even if he tries, he can’t just act neutral with you.

Whereas the title of the first chapter was referring to reader being too much for Jamil, here the title refers to Jamil trying too hard to “act normal”.

Also, by the time I posted this, I already had the title and vague concepts for the next part and the finale - the only question was if I’d need a transition between those two.

Such a oneshot this turned out to be, huh, just 5 parts.

Too Little

Pivot time! The dam breaks, finally, and Jamil has to accept that things are as they are.

It was around this chapter that I noticed myself using all these metaphors about currents and depths and things and started to use them more intentionally. That’s where the title for the whole series came about, as well. I’m not sure where the idea cleared out for me, but I think around here the latest I realized the whole “struggling against the tides (aka your feelings) and expending all your energy there - accepting your feelings as they are, making things all in all much more easier / pleasant” dichotomy for Jamil.

Which, certainly doesn’t apply to just romantic feelings. Like, that man has been repressing so much, and probably spends (or spent, before book 4) so much energy just maintaining the facade - energy which he could use for other things more fruitfully, one would imagine. So, yeah, it became a bit of a theme, that whole learning to understand and accept one’s feelings.

Again, I had so much fun writing him yearning. I was allowing him to complete a few more of his thoughts, letting them go a little further, but it’s not like he’s fully comfortable going all in yet and admitting even to himself all that he’s thinking about.

Tho also look at him being all soft and mushy and in his feels.

Also I couldn’t decide how dirty I could / should go with the “What it would feel like to touch you, to hold you, to kiss you, to-” bit so cutting it off solved that question too, lol.

I did also consider making this chapter much more lewd, Jamil maybe even masturbating to the thought of you, but then there’s the question of community labels and stuff and I didn’t want anyone to miss out a part. Plus like, as much as I love my lewd, I also didn’t want to imply it was just horny he’s feeling for you. But it was definitely a balancing act, trying to figure out just where I’d want to take this.

Tbh, I still might write the nsfw version of this (or something similar, at least) at some point.

Another thing to add to the wip / idea list I guess.

To me, the title feels quite self-explanatory here. He’s got too little of you, and wants to have more of you in his life.

Also that ice cream bit was absolutely there just to treat myself.

Too Fast

So, sometime earlier in the process I’d decided the reader should be the one confessing / making the first obvious move. Partly because come on why should it always be the guy doing that, and partly because the theme here was to keep Jamil on the back foot (ily Jamil but you’re just far too fun to fluster).

So when Too Little ended with Jamil deciding to act, I suddenly realized I had a bit of a dilemma - after all, Jamil is the sort who likes to make others act. Originally, I thought that what would throw Jamil off here would be you acting before Jamil gets to make his move. But for a character who likes to nudge others to act, would that really be a problem?

Thankfully, Jamil is also a planner thrown off when things go off rails - I mean, he can definitely adjust, as we see here and elsewhere, but it was enough to throw him off the loop the way I wanted to. So, I pivoted to Jamil being surprised by you making your move without his nudges. Jamil maintained his backfootedness as intended, and I managed to keep myself from accidentally glossing over parts of his character - win-win.

Writing this out like this feels like such minor nitpicking but well let’s just say that for the particular vibes I wanted to go for, it seemed to make a difference.

Also this bit:

“But he needed to know if it all was enough for what he wanted with you.

And if not… Well. Perhaps there was something to be done about that. Given enough time, enough attention…

He could be a listening ear, a supporting presence, get to know you further, if he needed to.

Yes, he wanted you to be his sooner rather than later, but if he had to wait and work for it, he would.”

Now, one could certainly read this a bit yan if one wanted to, but mostly I just felt like I had had Jamil be so “nice” so far and it felt like I really needed a dash of the more calculated parts of him, willing to put so much on the line to get what he wants. Like sure we’re going pretty fluffy with this story but it is still Jamil we’re talking about.

The scene with the basketball trio was originally Scarabia kitchen (with Jamil almost fumbling his phone into a pot or counter instead, and a random student questioning him), but then I realized I already had Jamil doing a lot of cooking and related things in this fic. So basketball trio to the rescue, and for a change of scenery, too. (And me hoping that in just couple of lines of dialogue I won’t do too grave injustices to the other characters.)

Also with Floyd in there, of course I had to include the line about “a taste of blood in the water”.

Again, it was quite the balancing act, trying to figure out just how flustered Jamil should be. A king of compartmentalization, after all, (and no jmeal this is not a compliment), but also I wanted him to be genuinely affected. So addlebrained Jamil it was, but hopefully I didn’t make him too much of a bumbling fool for who he is.

Also ngl I was really happy with myself with the parenthesis thoughts.

“He’d make something quick for Kalim’s dinner while preparing something to share with you. (What could he make with the time and ingredients he had that you really liked? What about dessert? He knew how much you enjoyed sweets, after all.)”

The logical, planning mind in the regular text, all the feels and “idle” thoughts in the parenthesis - which he’s trying to keep under control / at bay, but can’t, quite.

Again, Jamil, wouldn’t life be much easier if you let yourself feel your feels?

Ngl, I kind of feel like a coward, skipping so much of the dialogue in the confession scene. On the other hand, this series had turned into such a deep dive into Jamil’s head, that I was kinda content to keep to that inner perspective, even in this particular situation.

It’s strange, though, since often when I draft fics, for example, I build things around dialogue. But with this fic it just seemed to be different aspects calling to me.

Also knuckle kisses? Leave me absolutely weak, I could not resist including that.

I did wonder if I was too obviously spelling out my thought process, talking about reader having been ahead of Jamil in the feels curve, but on the other hand I figured it would be something Jamil would realize. So hopefully it didn’t turn too far in to telling rather than showing (I say, as if the next chapter isn’t so much of telling, oop).

“And in that sweet moment Jamil finally stopped fighting, at least for a moment. He let go of his plans, his resistance, and allowed himself to be swept up by you.”

And here we are, finishing with those themes of tides / feelings, the first dip of Jamil allowing himself to stop fighting. Not gonna say he dropped all his bad habits here, but at least he had a moment of calm.

Just Right

And we get the fluffiest of payoffs. Expounding on themes I outlined earlier, but also just fluffy sweetness.

Ngl, I was pulling from my irl relationship for a lot of these things.

“And all those things Jamil had not even allowed himself to think of back then now freely filled his mind.”

Like I said in the notes for this part as well, I combed through the earlier parts, picking out the unfinished thoughts and other bits that were poignant for what I wanted to say about Jamil’s feelings and his handling of them. So lots of callbacks, pretty much, to tie things up.

“However, finally, Jamil had learned how to withstand those currents. Fighting them, denying your pull… It truly had been a fool’s errand. Riding with the waves, steering his course was the only way he could make it - but only once he allowed himself to be carried by the flow.”

I was really wondering how to word this bit the right way. I didn’t want to say that the relationship was inevitable or anything like that - life happens, Jamil has agency, he could’ve chosen to say no to your date invitation etc. But the feelings were there, and couldn’t be denied away - at least not without significant and frankly wasted effort.

So, yeah, it was a fun project, going through the stages of Jamil’s thought process, slowly (or not so slowly) letting him think in different ways as the story progressed and showing those things in different ways.

Plus I’ve been doing almost exclusively oneshots for some time so it was nice to do something a little longer.

Hopefully these thoughts were of interest to at least some of you! Again, I want to iterate, I don’t want to say that my thought process behind writing dictates the one true way to interpret things or anything like that. It is simply where I’m approaching the story from, and what is behind the choices I make in telling the story.

Honestly if anyone reads all of this you deserve a cookie. Maybe even a drabble.

#ner talks #I don't have the spoons to reread this rn but hopefully I'm making some amount of sense

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cursed6mermaid-blog · 3 months

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Teach me how to please you

Sexworker Nanami

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MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

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imagine where Nanami is a sexworker and you are a loyal client who use this oppritunity to experiment and leave your fantasies with him as you try to not fall for the perfect blonde

this could be a serie idk yet... enjoy

You're a university student, a horny one who refused to interact with the boys on campus not only because of a rational fear of STD's but also because none of them cought your eye, your standards weren't high per se but they were obviously higher than what these frat boys could reach.

Other options were nerdy cute boys which you liked but you wanted your first time to be with someone experienced and you made the wild judgement that a lot of them weren't and you did not want to get to know who did as you just wanted to experiment a bit with your sexuality... that's when the gods of smut looked down upon you and sent you the number of a "sex god" that was growing in town ...your friend told you that she got his business card at a club but as she already had a boyfriend she passed it on to you ... The card looked expensive and it included a note that he was picky and didn't take clients he did not find attractive... You found it cocky but you still contacted him.

The first time he came over he took your verginity, he was gentle, sweet, and authoritive... A perfect daddy recipe ... You and kento slowly fell into a small routine where you'd ask for his services every now and then ...you felt comfortable around him, he was mature and could easily read the room and read your signs and took it easy on you understanding that you're new to all this.

After the third ring he finally picked up "hi, sweetheart how are you?" You blushed at the nickname "hiiii, i'm good and you? I missed you" he let out a soft chuckle "i missed you too, you're calling to see if i'm free tonight?" You felt your face heat up again and nodded even though he can't see you letting out a quiet uh-um i heard his chuckle on the other side of the phone as i started biting on my nail wondering if he'll reject me today but then he did the exact opposite "so what time shall i come over ? Is 7 okay ?" I let out a breath I didn't know i was holding as i felt a grin draw on my features " yes, 7 is good" we shared our good byes as i hung up the phone feeling giddy then i had a lil pep talk about how i should get attached and this is purely physical.

I got dressed in a new lingerie set that was dark shade of red with some black accents, it hugged my curves perfectly but as i looked in the mirror it was a new look, i always went for soft colors and pastels and now i'm going for a bold look from the lingerie to the dark eye make up and red lip i hope kento likes this. I quickly put on a short mid thigh length robe as i took out my wallet and put money in an envelope... I don't know if it's because i'm still a student or because nanami feels bad about my verginity as he told me he felt bad and wanted me to have it with someone i loved but sometimes he refuses payment and i feel bad so i learned to slide an envelope in the inside of his suit jacket as he goes to take a shower.

The door rings and i take one last glance in the miror before answering the door, kento smiles as he sees me and greets me with a kiss to cheek as he gets in closing the door behind him. "Anything to drink ? Tea? Cheap wine ?" I hear his chuckle as he takes a seat on the sofa "just bring glasses i brought something with me" i take two glasses and follow him taking a seat next to him. He turns to me and finally takes a good look at me "you look gorgeous, change of style?" I blush lightly nodding at him " i wanted to try something new today" he nods and then pours us two cups of expensive looking wine, he must have a lot of clients i think to myself as i brush it off taking a sip... We indulge in small conversations about how our days went on surface level.

I let out a surprised gasp as i find myself on kento's lap all of a sudden ... I don't know if the heat travelling to my face is from his sudden action or my drinking but i don't mind i steady myself by putting a hand on his broad shoulder and the other on his chest he smiles up at me "so tou want to try something new huh?" He says in a low voice as one hand is caressing my exposed thigh while the other is playing with the hem of the strap that's holding my robe together, i nod as i look down at his hand between us "do tell sweetheart" he looks back at my eyes and our faces get closer ans i feel his breath fanning over my jaw moving to my ear and leave a small kiss there, i swallow hard as i try to form a sentence "i - i want t-to please you" he places another kiss on my ear lobe and another on my jaw line, he's breaking my resolve before we even start "you always please me doll, what do you mean" he goes back to kissing my neck as i try to bite back the moans threatening to escape my lips "no daddy, i mean i wan- i want to please you i wanna learn how to please a man...please daddy" i say with shaky breath, i can feel his smile against my neck as he keeps his ministration towards my neck for a few more seconds before he pulls away to look at me, his hands that was on my thigh moves to cup my face and i instinctively lean into his touch my eyes show the lust in thier half lidded form " you want to learn how to please a man baby ? You want to impress someone?" I shake my head immediately "no daddy i just want to please you" he smiles at me and i mentally scold myself for being so obviously smitten. In a matter of second his lips are on mine, the kiss starts gentle but gets steamy pretty fast as his lips move against mine and quickly slides his wet muscle into py mouth claiming it, he swallows all my moans as his hands roam my body one is places at the bape my neck holding my head in place as the second wonders from squeezing my boobs through the fabric to grabbing my ass and the giving it light spanks as we both pull away for air my head falls on his chest my lungs begging for air. " Baby i'm gonna guide your head with my hand as i give you small instructions you can follow that right ?" I nod eagerly "words baby" i blush "yes daddy i can" he nods in approval "good girl" he gets closer to whisper the first command in my ear "stand upw show me what's under that robe and crowl towards me" he patted my thigh as he relaxed more on the sofa... I felt heat through my whole body ar his words but obeyed nevertheless, i did say i wanted to learn how to please him. I stood up from his lap took a few steps back and then turned to him i undid the knot that held the robe together then i slid it off my shoulders slowly as it fell to the ground it revealed the lingerie beneath kento was watching me closely following my every move and i was trying to act sexy and bold i kept feeling nervous, i took a deep breath as i got on my knees and then i just looked up at him face all red and tears starting to form from embarrassment " this is so embarrassing" i mumbled but kento heard it, i could see it by the smirk that played on his lips "it is baby?" He asked in faux sympathy and i just nodded looking at the ground as i sat there unable to move "well, i would love if you embarrassed yourself for me doll, can you do that?" My eyes shot up at his words and his eyes had a look of utter lust and want that i couldn't resist something came over me, the need to please this man Infront of me made me obey as i got on all four crawling towards him trying to focus on his eyes so i wouldn't lose my resolve, it was a very short distance yet it felt like miles when i reached his feet i just sat there looking up at him and was rewarded by his hand on my chin lifting my head up as he leaned down to place a small kiss on my lips as he whispered a subtle good girl. In an instance i was once again straddling his lap, his ability to lift me and throw me around never seized to make me wet.

As one hand caresses my waits the other is placed on my ass as he squeezes it hard just to deliver a firm slap to it making me let out a small moan. He smirked as he got closer to my ear again "now you're gonna undress me" i nod as my fingers eagerly move to start loosening his tie and unbottning his blazer and pulling it off his shoulders as my hands move to his belt he stops me by putting a hand on the nap of my neck and guiding my head towards his neck i take this as a hint and start kissing there leaving open mouth kisses there nibbling and licking his toned muscles going from his neck to his collarbones and as i try to go for his nipples he stops me by pulling my head back to look at me " can i ?" I please at him with pouty puffy lips and glossy eyes and he nods allowing me to kiss and lick his nipples, "are they sensitive like mine?" I ask between kisses and he chuckles "not really it feels nice but it isn't a sweet spot of mine" i nod as i keep kissing down his torso as my hands roam his hard abbs as i go back to kiss his neck this time he groans softly as a suck on the spot bellow his ear i guess i hit a sweet spot, i pull back to look at him with puppy eyes as i grind my hips on the growing bulge beneath me and he gives me a questioning look "what's wrong baby?" I bite my lips as i look between his eyes and his neck "can i leave a mark?" I ask in a low voice, he laughs softly as he nods.

"really?" He nods again using his hand to guide le to where he wants me to leave one and i oblige sucking znd biting on the delicate skin till it turns a deep shade of red and i smile happily. "On the floor love" he says before he picks me up and puts me between his feet, it's such a glorious view nanami shirtless with my hickey decorating his neck as his eyes are full of lust and need. I look up him then my hands go to remove his bent again this time he lets me as i remove his pants and he now he's only in his boxers a small patch of precum soiling them before my hands fly to then hem he stops me "hands behind ur back " i look up at him surprised by the command but obey anyways as i look up at him waiting for his next love, his hand is placed on my nape again as he guides my face to his clothed cock and i'm happy to oblige as i place kisses and licks all over the fabric and even suck making the material wet with my saliva ... Kento gets impatient and removes the boxers himself as his hand is still guiding me this time he grabs his dick fully erect with an angry red tip begging to be pleased and i immediately open my mouth and put my tongue out "so eager to please huh, i don't even have to tell you anymore" i look up at him with my tongue still out and nod and he grabs his dick pumping it a few times before he slaps me with it, i'm surprised by turned on by the action as i just moan in response and this time he guides it towards my open mouth kissing the tip and giving it a few kitten licks looking up at kento unsure of what to do and he just nods at me as he guides my hand more to get some of it in my mouth, it tastes salty but i like it, his dick is not only long but also girthy which makes this a challenge i wonder if i can fit him in my mouth, we can barely fit it inside me without me crying... I try to fit more of him inside and kento lets out a low groan, i guess he liked that, my eyes light up as i look up at him taking in his blissfull features feeling a sense of pride that i made him like this.

As i close my eyes and try to take more of him i feel his hand on my nape pullllung me off, i look up at him preplexelexed about to ask if i did anything wrong and before the words leave my lips he gestues to my hands which are now on his thighs, i don't even rememeber moving them and i look down muttering a soft "sorry" i hear shuffling and when i look up he hand his previously disgarded tie in his tie and before i ask he reaches behind me and uses it to tie my hands behind my back. "here now you'll listen better, right doll?", this man is sin's incarnate his actions keep turning me on, i feel his hand on my chin as his thumb caresses my cheek and i lean into his touch "you okay baby? can you carry on?" i open my eyes at that and nod " yes i can let's carry on" he smiles at my eagerness as his hand moves up to fix my hair putting a strand behind my ear as his other hand retakes its place on my nape i take that as mu cue to get back to the task at hand this time i try giving attention to the rest of his cock liking it up and down and kissing it as i try to suck his tip his hand moves my head lower towards his balls, they're clean shaven and look soft full, i look up at him and when i recieve a nod i start kissing them and finally take one in my mouth sucking on it trynna be carefull not to use my teeth as i know how sensitive that area is, i manage to take them both and hear him groan i smile a little massaging them with my tongue as his cock rests on my face, i never thought i'd get pleasure from this but i find my self moaning, he takes his balls out of my mouth and i go back to sucking his leaking tip. his hand moves from my nape to pull my now messy hair out of my face gathering it in a poneytail, i can feel him holding back and i pull back my action makes him open his eyes "what's wrong doll?' he asks out of breath "you'reholding back, please teach me how to really please you" i say with a mixture of spit and cum down my chin as i can't wipe it while both hands are tied, as kento looks at me i feel him battling himself and then it seems like lust won as he bends down to capture my lips in a messy kiss that leaves me out of breath "i'm gonna be a lil rough baby, tell me if it gets too much okay? do you want me to untie you ?" i smile in victory "no, please don't if it gets too much i'll just try to pull away" he smiles down at me "always so polite" he gives me a final kiss then he guides my head back to his pretty tip i open wide as he shoves it inside my mouth, this time he's less gentle and i'm loving it as i take more of him i try to use my tongue to massage it and i try to breath through my nose hoping all the smut i read have provided enough knowledge about this, suddenly i feel my gag reflex and he grunts at that i look up at him and his gaze is full of hunger and lust "that's a good girl, you can take a lil more c'mon" he keeps bullying his cock into my mouth i feel light headed and my eyes start to burn but i'm determined to please this man, kento takes notice and one of his hands moves to my cheek caessing it softly " breath through your nose for me baby" i look up at his and tears escapes my eyes as i try to keep moving my head, he wipes a few tears and then as i try to regulate my breathing i hollow my cheeks which make him roll his head back and close his eyes " damn baby do that again" and i comply hollowing my cheeks again, this time he lets out a grunt a loud one and it fuels me, suddenly i forgot how bad my knees hurt or the tears running down my cheeks my sole focus is to please this man.

as i try to take more i gag again, he a bit over halfway in his hand on my head softly guiding me up and down as i try to use my tongue and hollow my cheeks as much as possible, his grunts are so preety and the sweat on his forhead makes him look like a greek god, "baby i'm close where do you want it" i just keep on sucking and he opens his eyes to look at me "in your mouth? you're sure?" he asks with heavy breaths and i just let out a small "uh-huh" muffled by his dick. he smiles and then i feel hm holding my head steady as his hips jerk up a bit and a hot liquid fills my mouth some of it going down my throat as he pulls out he pumps his dick a few times as a few droplets lend on my lips and chin and i take that chance to swallow every drop he's giving me and then i take a deep breath, the air seems to burn my lungs as i cough a few times closing my eyes and taking deep breaths, suddenly i feel hands behind my knees lifting me up, i open my eyes and i'm in nanami's lap again he reaches behind me and unties my hands massaging my wrists and bringing them to his lips placing a kiss on each i just look up at him mesmerised by how beautifull he looks a thin layer of sweat covers him as his cheeks are dusted by a subtle pink and his breathing is a bit irregular. he reaches and grabs a napkin from the table behind us as he places a hand on my back pushing me closer to his chest making sure i won't fall as he reaches back, he then used the napkin to wipe my chin from all the drool and cum that i didn't get to swallow then he smiles at me placing a kiss on my cheek first.

"you did so good baby" he praises again as hhis hands move to fix my develishes hair and then to caress my cheek i'm sure i look a mess my make up is propably ruined and my hair a mess, kento leans closer placing a few chaste kissed on my lips that slowly turn into a deeper one he can propably taste himself on my tongue, as i kiss him back i feel his hands around my waist in what feels like a protective hold pulling me closer to his chest and i just melt in his touch. as we broke the kiss for much needed air kento kept looking at me with soft eyes that gave me butterflies, this man is gonna be the death of me "you look so preety like this baby, your lips are puffy and you eyes glossy and you cheeks are so red" he kissed me again "so adorable" i blushed at his words and his my face into his neck as he chuckled his hands caressed my body from my thighs to all the way back to my neck.

"nanami" i called after a while he hummed "yes doll" he answered softly "so would you say i'm a fast learner" i felt a small laugh vibrate his chest and i looked up at him , as he looked at me he nodded softly "yes a very good student" i giggled at that as his hand petted my head, "are you sore ?" i'm suprised by the sudden question, he's so considerate for a sexworker, maybe that's why he's expensive he's really good at this, i have to make sure i don't fall for him, i nod at him " a little, my jaw hurts a bit and my knees too" he looks at me sympethatically a hand caressing my side "do you want me to run you a bath now or after we're done?" he asks and i feel puzzled "after we're done? " he nods like it's obvious "you didn't think we're done here did you?" i just open my mouth surprised i thought he'd leave now but he had other plans "isn't that working overtime, i mean you've been here for two hours already, and i'm fine you don't have to it's okay" as i spoke i lowered my gaze to my my hands picking at my nails between us, i felt his ggaz on me but i ignored it till i felt his finger at my chin forcing me to look up at him "technically we were chatting and now we're cuddling so it does not count as work" he used air quotes as he said word and the nhe continued " also do you really think i can leave after seeing you in this lingerie?" he leaned closer to my ear to whisper " i need to taste you baby and i can feel you throbbing on my lap" as he said that he moved his hand to cup my heat and i unvolonteerly moaned making him smirk " see baby we're not done yet"

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i'm thinking of making this a whole serie :') what do y'all think ?

also i apologize for any typos or mistaken i did not proofread this ... i'm lazy

this is my first smut please leave your reviews and your suggestions/ if i should write more

constructive chritcism is welcome.

#nanami x reader #nanami kento #nanami smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #daddy nanami #praise k!nk #unexprienced reader #jujutsu kaisen

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attackfish · 1 year

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Ozai, Azula, and Enmeshment: a Character Study

I have chosen to put this essay under a cut, because it got really really long. Also, below lies frank discussion of child abuse and its effects. Reader discretion is advised.

I love Zuko Alone. This episode is a masterclass in writing flashbacks and weaving them into the narrative. None of these flashbacks are flashy, or too on the nose, and we have a good reason for Zuko to be flashing back. He is alone and failing to handle the present, and getting drawn into his memories of the past. And each of the flashbacks is mundane, and realistic, and builds on the one before, and paints a subtle and tragic picture of a deeply abusive family.

The flashbacks never feel like an exposition dump, or like a cheat to let us know things we otherwise couldn't, and yet it's exactly there to give us an intimate picture of the Fire Nation Royal Family, and just how completely screwed up it was, and how this will contextualize both Zuko and Azula's actions throughout the rest of the show. Almost everything we know about the Fire Nation Royal Family, we learn right here. It's efficient, engaging storytelling, and it's done with tremendous subtlety.

As with all subtle storytelling, it relies on the audience to put the pieces together for themselves, which is both beautiful, and deeply frustrating. Deeply frustrating, because a story that requires an audience to put the pieces together for themselves is always going to have some members of that audience decide to ram the pieces together in the way they want to. I have seen some absolutely terrible takes on this episode, and I have talked about them at length. For this essay, I want to stay away from what I think this episode doesn't show, and talk about what it does, specifically what a specific scene, a favorite hobby horse for people writing terrible takes, the scene where Zuko and Azula receive gifts from Iroh, who is besieging Ba Sing Se, shows us.

The scene opens with Ursa and her children reading a letter from Iroh, He talks about the magnificence of Ba Sing Se, and talks about the possibility of burning it to the ground. We see a smoking hole in Ba Sing Se's outer wall, and Iroh's voiceover, reading the letter laughs. As the scene comes into focus on Ursa and the children, they are laughing too.

This scene is a gut punch, set as it is in an episode where Zuko wanders through a war torn Earth Kingdom, and because of how it contrasts with the Iroh we have met so far over the course of the series, an Iroh who would never laugh at burning a city to the ground.

After this, Ursa reads out the gifts Iroh has sent to his niece and nephew. Zuko gets a knife, which he likes, and Azula gets a doll, which she does not. After making a face, Azula says cheerfully:

"If Uncle doesn't make it back from war, then Dad will be next in line for Fire Lord, wouldn't he?"

After both her mother and brother express horror at this idea, she finishes with:

"I still think our dad would make a much better Fire Lord than His Royal Tea-Loving Kookiness."

It's only after this exchange that she sets the doll on fire, an explicit rejection not only of her uncle's gift, but of her uncle himself.

I've talked before about how the doll and knife reinforce the picture this scene give of how Iroh used to view the Fire Nation imperial project: [Link], but looking at this scene, especially the gifts and Zuko and Azula's reactions, solely for what it tells us about Iroh, misses a lot of the substance of this scene.

Most obviously, this scene tells us about how Zuko and Azula see their uncle, Zuko affectionately, and Azula with scorn, something that will have profound effects on how they will respond to Iroh in the future, including how much or how little he can influence them: [Link]. But it also, more subtly, expresses volumes about Azula's relationship with her father. Because those are not Azula's own opinions that Azula is voicing here. Those are Ozai's.

How do we know those are Ozai's opinions? There are two ways. The first is that Azula has absolutely no reason to come up with this opinion on her own. Not only is this not the kind of opinion any child, no matter how clever or ruthless, would come up with on her own, but this scene starts by showing us Iroh at the height of his glory, the Dragon of the West, on the cusp of conquering Ba Sing Se. There is probably no one in the entire world, other than his jealous little brother, who sees Iroh as his royal tea-loving kookiness. Even Ozai's cronies probably have a very different take on Iroh than that of Ozai, recognizing him as powerful and dangerous. But Ozai, the disfavored younger son to his father's perfect Prince Iroh, has a lot of jealousy toward his brother, and a lot of resentment. He has a strong psychological incentive to be saying to himself, "Iroh isn't even that great anyway, he's just a kooky tea lover. It would be better for everyone if I were the heir."

Ozai as the source for Azula's view of her uncle is backed up when later in the episode, Ozai makes a similar, if less obviously nasty, argument to his father as to why he should be the heir to the throne in place of his older brother.

Just as a side note, Azulon's reaction to this argument does a fabulous job of implying years of abuse on Azulon's part toward Ozai, showing that he learned how to be an abusive father who plays favorites from his own father, and that he had been the unfavorite. This episode does so much heavy lifting with regards to characterizing the Fire Nation royal family.

But anyway, when Ozai makes this argument, it clues the audience in to where Azula got her opinions on Iroh, and tells us to expect to hear Ozai's words coming out of Azula's mouth. This is in fact actually a reenforcement of a moment in the first episode she is introduced, where she throws Ozai's opinion of Zuko in his face to hurt him after he has seen through her attempt to deceive him into becoming her captive. This allows the writers to characterize Ozai through Azula's words, without him needing to be onscreen.

But I want to talk about what this means for Azula, psychologically. Because along with the narrative utility of being able to use Azula to characterize Ozai, this scene speaks volumes about Azula's relationship with her father, and what he's doing to her.

And it occurs to me that this is an extremely long time for me to get to the point. I don't care. This is all necessary background information. It's important to know how we know something.

One of the things that we see in this episode very clearly is that he is sharing these things with Azula that he is not sharing with Ursa or Zuko. This indicates two things, one, he is not willy nilly saying these things to anyone, two, he specifically chose Azula as the person with whom he wants to share his thoughts and feelings. He specifically chose a small child as his confidant. Adults who choose children as confidants and intimate companions do so because for some reason, adults are unavailable for the purpose. Sometimes this is because social or societal or family forces make it so that the adults seeking a companion can't get an adult companion, but sometimes adults are unavailable for the purpose because they are unsuitable, because what the adult wants in a companion and confidant is someone under their control. Ozai picked Azula because she was his child, and he had control both over her, and over her perceptions of him. She wasn't coming to the table with baggage, context that might help her understand what he was telling her, and he could fill her head with his own ideas in peace.

In short, as a child, Azula lacked the kind of perspective that would help her understand that the confidences Ozai was sharing with her we're based in resentment and insecurity, and that what he wanted from her was to reflect his own self aggrandizing lies back at him, to be his mirror, to give him reinforcement and validation. The important thing to understand here is that Ozai doesn't even completely believe his own bullshit, consciously he does but unconsciously, he is deeply deeply insecure and afraid that he is worthless. So he desperately craves somebody to reinforce the worldview he created, in which he is actually better than everybody else, and his brother is stupid and weird, and his father is a demented old man, and it would be better if Ozai were the ruler anyway. As time went by, this worldview gained new facets, about Ursa being not good enough for him, about Zuko being worthless, about the place of the Firelord and their moral right to absolute power, But ultimately all of it is a castle of air, built out of the lies Ozai told himself to mask his own insecurity, all of which he relied on Azula to parrot back to him, so that they would feel more real, and he wouldn't have to face his fears.

Ozai chose Azula because of a complicated cocktail of his ability to identify with her, and her receptiveness to his self-aggrandizement. For one reason or another, Ozai deemed Zuko unsuitable for the role of mirror. Because of his insecurities and self-absorption, Ozai picked the child who best reflected what he wanted to see about himself, and then used her awe of him, and her childish trust to puff himself up.

Ozai did this with no regard to Azula's mental wellbeing, or even really her physical safety. People like Ozai are intuitively able to judge who they can use, and what they can use them for. While they might consciously believe their own self-aggrandizing lies, they understand, at least on an unconscious level, who they can share those lies with, who will respond positively to them, and who they need to guard against. But while this knowledge is unconscious and intuitive, it is still learned, and Azula as a young child has not learned any of it yet. We actually see her repeating her father's dangerous worldview in front of people who are most certainly not receptive to it. Fortunately for her, her mother and brother are not inclined to go tattling to her grandfather about her treasonous words, but this incident does an excellent job of highlighting just how little Azula understands of the context of her father's worldview, and what other people's reactions are likely to be. Ozai sharing it with her puts her in danger.

This isn't surprising, given that we are shown several times throughout the series that Ozai does not care about Azula any more than he cares about Zuko. He does after all send her to war at fourteen years old, and discards her as soon as she is no longer useful to him. But it's important to remember that even when he is seemingly very close to his daughter, letting her into his confidence, and giving her lots of positive attention as a child, all of this is because of how it benefits him, and if it hurts his daughter, so be it. He doesn't really care.

Nothing comes of this danger. Ozai takes power soon after, and Azula is a clever, observant child, who quickly develops the same kind of intuitive understanding of who she can use, and who she can tell what to. But it's important to remember that this danger did exist and Ozai didn't care.

This phenomenon, in which the natural process of a child's identity development is inhibited so that they can better serve the emotional needs of an adult, is unfortunately very common, including with parents and caretakers far less destructive, uncaring, and cruel than Ozai, and even with very loving and well-meaning parents. Because of this, it's a fairly well studied phenomenon, and in which we can describe some of the characteristics of children who have gone through it. It's also a phenomenon that has a name. Several, in fact.

It's also important to remember that though this danger passed, the harm Ozai was doing to his daughter did not. What Ozai was looking for in Azula was someone who would absorb and reflect back his own self-serving worldview, and to ensure she continues to do that, to hold his lies as true, he has to control her and sabotage any chances she has to start building her own separate identity. He needs, in other words, to erode the borders between herself and him.

When I first entered this fandom over a decade ago in my Livejournal days when I first talked over what I saw in Azula in comments and private conversations with friends, the favorite term for this phenomenon, or at least the one that had most thoroughly permeated a popular layperson's understanding of the phenomenon, was emotional or covert incest. The idea was that the parents involved were treating their children as surrogate spouses and the term seemed especially useful because many of the effects of parental incest seem to line up well with the effects of this kind of sabotaging of a child's identity. This is probably because an adult molesting a child is by definition using a child to fulfill their sexual and usually also psychological needs, so the process is going to necessitate the same kind of eroding of psychological boundaries of identity.

It's perhaps fitting that this is the picture of the phenomenon, and the language I had to talk about it, when I first started trying to tease out Azula's character, since at the time, it was common for particular fans of Azula to assert that Ozai must be molesting her, as a means of making her more sympathetic, and often, explicitly, as a way for Azula to outcompete Zuko in a suffering contest. I found this extremely annoying at the time, though in retrospect I like it better than what replaced it, (mostly accusations that Ursa, Iroh, Zuko, etc. abused Azula) because at least it credits the proper person with Azula's suffering, i.e. Ozai. I have always found it worth an eye-roll when people go looking for some hidden reason for why Azula, when, as I have been arguing since the first day I stepped into this fandom, what we see on screen of her relationship with Ozai and his treatment of her is more than enough to explain her behavior throughout the show, and her subsequent mental breakdown: [Link].

The terms emotional and covert incest, extremely loaded as they are, fell out of fashion, when a new theory of it was popularized in lay circles, in which it was supposed that these adults are particularly immature and looking for a parent in their own child, and this was dubbed parentification, a term that has since gained a second meaning, to when a child finds themselves in the role of parent to another child, usually a younger sibling.

Now there is a widening understanding that the adult may have many motives, and many emotional needs, that they are using a child to fulfill. The important part is that they are using a child to fill emotional needs that the child is not equipped to handle, and they are eroding the borders of identity between themselves and the child. This phenomenon is now generally called enmeshment.

Children who are enmeshed in a parent or caregiver reflect what that parent or caregiver wants out of them, but common behaviors to exhibit are unexpectedly adult mannerisms, and seeming maturity, often coupled with and utter lack of experience with people their own age, and the social skills needed to interact with their peers. This is because the adult using them doesn't want to be constantly reminded of the fact that they are a child, and because they are too busy looking after the emotional needs of the adult using them, to practice socializing with their peers. They also are frequently obsessive perfectionists, focused on meeting the standards of the adult living through them, and are often painfully anxious, secretly very insecure, and lack a self-awareness of their own emotions, because they're too busy managing the emotions of the adult they are enmeshed with.

I don't know about you but that sounds a lot like Azula to me. Her adult mannerisms throughout the show mask her terrible social awkwardness with her peers and outside of a command structure until the episode "The Beach". She is introduced to us by asserting that: "almost [perfect] isn't good enough," and her deeply held insecurity, that she is unable to acknowledge to herself, is what leads to her mental breakdown.

The process of enmeshment in this case is shown mostly through implication, through the way Azula talks about her father, and the way Zuko talks about them both. This is to be expected, because Ozai just does not have all that much screen time, much less with Azula. But again, "Zuko Alone" gives us a scene in which Ozai performs some of the process for us. In the family audience with Firelord Azulon, Azula performs some impressive firebending before her grandfather. Ozai tells his father that she is a true prodigy, just like her grandfather.

The explicit implication that both Azulon in the story, and the audience are supposed to pick up on, is that to Ozai, Azula is a prodigy because of him, that her talent showcases his greatness. This ties her identity to his, and tells her that everything she is, is because of Ozai. And it shows she gets praise and affirmation when she does something useful to her father, something that makes him feel good. And this praise is structured in such a way that Ozai is also praising himself.

This ties Azula's identity to Ozai's. She is worthy because Ozai is worthy. She is special because Ozai is special. It's also, in the simplest terms, praise, and praise feels good. And Ozai makes himself a reliable supply of praise for Azula... so long as she keeps performing, keeps identifying herself with her father, and keeps making him feel good by proxy. This keeps her coming back for more, and deepens that identification further. This becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.

The best thing an abuser or abusive system can do to maintain control over a victim, is to become simultaneously the source of their anxiety and pain, and their source of reassurance and comfort. You see this with individual abusers, as well as in larger groups, such as high control groups (also known as cults) and hate groups. By feeding Azula a steady diet of self-serving praise and affirmation, Ozai makes himself her source for reassurance, and by expecting Azula to manage his emotions, and feed him affirmation and confirmation of his worldview, he makes himself the source of her anxiety. So when he makes her anxious, she works all the harder to please him and manage his own anxieties, so that he will give her the praise and reassurance she so desperately needs.

What this does is put Azula on the emotional equivalent of a roller coaster. The highs of not only relief, but elation, when she successfully pleases her father are followed inevitably by the lows of anxiety and dread of having to do it again. But this is complicated further by the fact that because Ozai has tied Azula's identity to his so thoroughly, she can't ever admit to herself that she's afraid. If she acknowledges her fear, that means she has to face the danger she's in, face the fact that she might fail, that she isn't necessarily a perfect reflection of her father's glory, that she might not always be worthy in his eyes. She can't face that fact, both because being her father's perfect worthy daughter is entirely foundational to any sense of identity she has, and because her father has shown her through his treatment of Zuko what happens to children of his who aren't worthy. She is terrified, and can't ever admit it, especially not her herself.

It's impossible to overstate just how afraid Azula is, just how insecure she feels, because it's this fear and insecurity, which she cannot admit to herself that leads ultimately to her breakdown and psychotic episode in the finale.

So how does Azula cope with this? With the constant strain of it all? How does she hold back that fear that she can't possibly face? She spreads the pain. She finds herself two victims, who she can coerce into helping her maintain a sense of control.

People who abuse others don't do it because they are bad evil abusers. They abuse other people because it gets them something, often something psychological, often something the abuser desperately needs, and sees no other way to get it. This means that many abusers have incredibly sympathetic motivations. They are trying to assuage a terrible pain, or cope with a terrible fear. But none of that negates the damage they are doing to their victims, and that pain and fear doesn't give them the right to use somebody else to manage that fear and pain for them. Azula's own pain and fear arises out of her father's use of her to manage his own pain and fear, and in doing so, he "gifts" her both that pain and fear, and a means of managing it, by finding victims of her own.

We see this process play out in the first and second episode of Book Two. After Azula fails to capture her brother and uncle, she seeks out and establishes frankly brutal control over her two childhood victims, Mai and Ty Lee. As we will see later in Book Three, failing against Zuko hits very close to the core of Azula's hidden insecurities, so when Zuko and Iroh escape her, she looks for a way to reassure herself she is perfectly in control.

There is some complication to the abusive system Ozai has taught Azula to function within and to perpetuate herself. Ozai has more than one kind of victim. Azula is useful to him, because, as described above, she reflects his self-serving worldview back at him, while his other victims, his wife, brother, and son, serve a different purpose. They function as blame sinks, people whose perceived incompetence or malice serves as a justification when something goes wrong. This is how Iroh becomes his Royal Tea-Loving Kookiness, for example.

This doesn't of course hold up if you think about it from more than a second, but it doesn't have to. That's the point. The only person Ozai has to convince is himself. And of course, Azula, but for Azula, he imparts his views to her beginning when she is far too young to question them, and by the time she is old enough to have that kind of cognitive ability, they are already too deeply embedded in the way she views the world for her to even think they need to be considered.

Ozai would have first developed his use of blame sinks as a way to deal with his father's constant favoring of Iroh. He didn't deserve to be treated the way he was being treated by his father, he was as good as Iroh. No he was better than Iroh. He was the better prince, the worthy prince, worthy of being Firelord. But if he was superior, why did he keep failing? Why indeed? It was because of his brother. His brother was lucky, and he doesn't deserve that luck, and he's holding Ozai down, and it's his fault no one can see Ozai's innate superiority. It's all Iroh's fault.

Iroh is Ozai's first blame sink, and the one he patterns all his future blame sinks onto. This accounts for some of his more obviously stupid choices, as I argue here: [Link]. However, it also means we can use Ozai's treatment of Iroh, and one of his future blame sinks, Zuko, to draw some conclusions about how he treats the third of the blame sinks, Ursa. With both Zuko and Iroh, we hear Azula repeating her father's scornful pronouncements about them: His Royal Tea-Loving Kookiness, for example, or in this quote from Book Two, episode one, "The Avatar State:

"You know, Father blames Uncle for the loss of the North Pole, and he considers you a miserable failure for not finding the Avatar. Why would he want you back home, except to lock you up where you can no longer embarrass him?"

From this we can surmise that Ozai would speak similarly about Ursa. But for Ozai, Ursa is merely his unwanted former wife, while for Azula, Ursa is her mother. This leads to one of Ozai's most profound incidental cruelties with regards to his daughter.

When Azula was young, and Ursa was still around, Ozai's dismissal of his wife as unimportant and unworthy, served not only the psychological function all of Ozai's blame sinks did, but also helped separate Azula from her mother, thereby making it easier for Ozai to be the only shaper of his daughter's mind. However, after he banished Ursa, Ozai is hardly likely to let up on his scorn and denigration of Ursa. Perversely, the fact that she was responsible for putting him on the throne, would have made him even more vociferous in his resentment of her. For someone like Ozai, the fact that he owed his position to someone he considered so unworthy, and who shared the same opinion about him, would have been intolerable to think about, and so his resentment would grow, and with it, his attempts to verbally cut her down to size in front of his daughter.

Her daughter as well of course. The castigations of Ursa must have poured out of him and into their daughter's ears. She didn't understand his vision. She couldn't comprehend their greatness. She valued worthless things, like kindness and compassion, and worthless people like Zuko. She thought they were monsters. She was pathetic and unworthy of them.

Even if Ozai never used the words "we" or "us" with regards to how Ursa viewed him, Azula, so enmeshed in her father, and so completely identifying with him, would have heard them anyway. And so, without her mother there to contradict such an idea, it took root so deep into Azula, that it became simply a fact of the universe to her, that: "[her] own mother thought [she] was a monster."

Ozai doubtless didn't notice the pain he had caused his daughter, or that she had internalized this belief so thoroughly, but he also doubtless wouldn't have cared.

But if Ozai's choice of one of his blame sinks damaged Azula because she had an entirely different relationship to her, it was the choice of another of Ozai's blame sinks that would ultimately spell Azula's downfall: her brother. There are many and complex reasons for profound effects of this choice on Azula's psyche, and its contribution toward her eventual breakdown, much of which I discuss at length in my three pillars theory of Azula essay: [Link]. In brief, Ozai's use of Zuko in this way would have shown Azula that this was a role open to a child of Ozai's, which she might potentially fall into, that it was the price of failure in her father's eyes. This was a prospect that as discussed above, terrified Azula, and which she was far too scared of to even admit the prospect, or her fear of it, as a possibility.

The other reason for the fateful consequences for Azula or Zuko's status as blame sink, is that unlike her uncle or her mother, Azula could have power over her brother. Indeed, with Ozai's approval, Azula was able to wield considerable power over Zuko, to bully and belittle him, much as their father did: [Link]. Azula's tendency to parrot her father's views is on full display here, in her relationship with her brother. And because Ozai holds Azula up as perfect and worthy, in contrast to unworthy imperfect Zuko, Azula is none-too-subtly encouraged to use Zuko as her own blame sink. And boy does she need one, with the intense psychological pressure she is under to be perfect, both in her father's eyes and in her own. Having someone around on whom both she and her father can blame any and all imperfections, is really really useful to her. And if Ozai learned growing up that having his blame sink far away made it much easier to make up a version of them that was useful to him: [Link], Azula learned that having her and her father's mutual blame sink around, meant it was a lot easier to remind herself and her father how worthy she was in contrast to Zuko. So ultimately, if Ozai keeps banishing his blame sinks, Azula wants to keep hers close at hand.

After failing first to capture her brother, and then on several occasions, to capture the Avatar, something for which, by Azula's own admission, Ozai considers Zuko a "miserable failure", Azula needs not only her "friends", Mai and Ty Lee, and the affirmations and sense of control they give her, but also Zuko, to soak up their father's displeasure and her own insecurity. And to get him home, she lies to Ozai.

When Ozai finds out about this lie, he discards her. I think we can say it's not Azula's misjudgement or failure that causes Ozai to cast her aside, but the fact that she lied to him. She has become a threat.

And here is the last sting in the tail of Ozai's relationship with his daughter. This moment was inevitable from the beginning. Ozai was always going to throw Azula away. He cultivated a relationship with her initially, because as a young child, she didn't have the experience and context to see through the self-serving lies he told himself, and she could, through her belief of them, reinforce his fragile self image. But no matter how much damage he did to Azula's ability to build an independent identity for herself, she was still a separate person, and she was always going to grow up. And when she did so, she was always going to move from perfect little mirror of Ozai's greatness, to threat. And whatever individual event was going to be the catalyst, this change was always going to happen before Azula was ready for it, because Ozai was always going to discard her at the first stirrings of independence. And for Azula, thoroughly enmeshed in her father, this rejection by him was always going to shatter the foundations of her whole world.

#azula #ozai #uncle iroh #zuko #atla ursa #avatar the last airbender #posts i created #azula needs her own warning #noodle lord ozai #mother bear ursa #i ship iroh/tea #zuko is a dweeby little turtleduck #mai doesn't hate you #circus freak is a compliment

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moonylantsovs · 7 months

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RULES | 1.12: WE ARE GROUNDERS (1)

summary: the daughter of marcus kane gets sent down to the ground with ninety-nine other teenage criminals and a fake guard on her eighteenth birthday, deciding to take charge of the camp along with the two people she never thought she'd get along with after her previous experience with authority and the privileged

pairings: john murphy x fem!oc, bellamy blake x fem!oc ( slowburn )

taglist: @lotr-got

warnings: best friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, swearing, choking (not the kinky kind), heartbreak, ANGST, bellamy x gabi development, inappropriate jokes, mentions of self-harm in the beggining

series masterlist

Gabriella Kane was emotionally exhausted, which was a big difference to how she felt when she was stuck in the sky-box. Up there, when she was locked up and getting ready to get executed, she did not need emotions, but she wanted to feel something so badly that she even ended up stealing a guard's knife and carving her initials into the back of her leg, just under her knee. The feeling stung but she was the type of person who thrived off of anger and passion, not pain.

That was not a period in her life she was proud of and looking at the faint scar still made her obnoxiously angry. She felt weak for going to those lengths just to feel something and to feel human. But now, when she was on Earth in the middle of a war, leading a group of teenagers into war against actual warriors, she had to do that without the constant need to scream because two of her best friends were missing and there was nothing she could do about it.

Of course, the first thing Gabriella did when she woke up from the few minutes of sleep she got, was going to grab her gun. Only to realize Bellamy was one step ahead of her and already given orders that only specific delinquents were allowed to carry guns and no one was allowed to go out of camp with them.

"Bellamy, what the fuck?" Gabriella hissed, barging into Bellamy's tent.

He was laying on his back, shirtless, staring at the ceiling of the tent with a thoughtful expression on his face which instantly turned into one of amusement at Gabriella's pissed-off tone.

"Yes, Bambi?"

"Why the fuck did you give out the order that no one is allowed to go out of camp with a gun while I was asleep?" She asked, glaring down at him.

Bellamy shrugged, getting up and purposely flexing his muscles (only irritating Gabriella more) before picking up a shirt and twirling it around, his only intention to provoke her.

Gabriella clenched her jaw before she sighed. "You said we're gonna go looking for them after the sun goes up! It's been up for more than an hour. If we wanna find Clarke and Monty we need to go now."

"You're not going anywhere while I'm here." Bellamy said, suddenly turning serious.

"What are you, my father?" The blonde scoffed.

Noticing the corner of Bellamy's mouth slowly started tugging into a smug smirk, she instantly prepared for his next words by fixing him a warning glare. Which he obviously ignored.

"If you want I could ── "

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." The engineer warned with a scowl.

"No one's going outside." Bellamy said sternly. "You aren't in the right state of mind to be running around the woods with a gun in your hand. We can't risk losing anyone else." Gabriella opened her mouth to say something, only for him to cut her off again, "Wells and Raven agreed."

"Since when do you listen to Wells and Raven?" Gabriella asked, squinting her eyes up at him in confusion.

"I don't." Bellamy shrugged, "But you listen to Raven. So if she's okay with not going looking for her boyfriend if it means keeping everyone safe then so should you."

"I don't care if we find Finn or not. I want to find Clarke and Monty. Monty's an engineer and we need Clarke to get through this. You know that."

"Yeah." The man nodded solemnly. "But I also know I'm not willing to lose another one of our leaders."

"So what? We just sit back and do nothing?" Gabriella asked in disbelief.

"No." Bellamy said and shook his head, "We get ready for war. You can start by helping Jasper and Raven with the gunpowder for the minefield. Go."

"You're dismissing me?" The blonde gaped up at him, not believing he would start treating her like one of her lap dogs around camp.

Bellamy huffed, gripping the shirt in his hands tighter. "If that's what you'd call keeping you alive, then yes. You're dismissed."

Gabriella held her empty blue eyes glued to his dark brown ones before sighing and marching out of his tent. When she was standing outside she ran her fingers through her dirty blonde hair in frustration, feelings unexplainable anger bubbling up in the bottom of her stomach.

She looked around camp and her eyes connected with Murphy's, softening almost instantly. He looked like he was gonna walk up to her but something over her shoulder caught his attention and made him scoff under his breath and then turn around with a permanent scowl on his face. Gabriella furrowed her eyes in confusion and was about to follow him into the supply tent, only for Bellamy's voice to stop her.

"Trouble in paradise?"

The Kane girl turned around to see a shirtless Bellamy giving her a coy smirk, obviously catching her and Murphy's exchange and finding it amusing.

Gabriella quickly caught on to what Murphy probably thinks he saw and shook her head in annoyance. "You're an ass."

Gabriella quickly stopped what she was doing when a loud gunshot was heard through camp. Her eyes widened in alarm and she rushed towards the source of the sound, with Bellamy right next to her and a few other delinquents behind them.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" Bellamy snapped at a panicked Philip, who was supposedly the one who accidentally pulled the trigger of his gun.

"I'm sorry." Philip quickly defended himself, "I fell asleep. I've been on watch all day."

Bellamy clenched his jaw and gripped the top of Philip's jacket, pushing him against a three. "We've all been on watch all day! The bullet was one less dead grounder."

Gabriella stared at her co-leader with wide eyes, surprised by his outburst. Sure, she had seen him angry before but never like this.

"Bell," Octavia quickly chimed in, noticing Gabriella's hesitance to jump in, "you're scaring people."

"They should be scared!" Her older brother was quick to snap. He let Philip go and turned to the crowd surrounding him. "The bomb on the bridge bought us some time to prepare, but that time is up! The grounders are out there right now, waiting for us to leave and picking us off one by one when we do! Clarke, Finn, and Monty are gone, probably dead..."

Gabriella swallowed thickly at his words, gripping her fists tight enough to draw blood as she listened to his speech.

"...and if you want to be next, I can't stop you, but no guns are leaving this camp! This camp is the only thing keeping us alive!" Bellamy's eyes connected with Gabriella's teary ones as he spoke his next words, dismissing the crowd, "Get back to work!"

As she watched Bellamy storm away and back to his tent, Gabriella felt a presence behind her. She looked over her shoulder to see Wells looking down at her expectantly. "You gonna go calm him down or not?"

"Now why would I do that?" Gabriella drawled out, giving Wells an emotionless look.

"Because he trusts you." Wells shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

"Why do you even care?" Gabriella quickly changed the subject, turning around so she and Wells were standing face-to-face. She gave him a judgmental look. "Aren't you the one that left Monty alone?"

"You really think I wanted that?" Wells scoffs, shaking his head in frustration, "Don't you think I want to go after them too? I love Clarke and Finn and Monty are my friends."

"Really? Because it doesn't really look like you're doing anything that's gonna get the three of them back." Gabriella spat. She brushed past him without sparing him a second look.

"You know what will happen to me if you tell Bellamy."

Gabriella furrowed her eyebrows at the sound of Murphy's taunting voice coming from the walkie that was sitting on the table in the camp she, Raven, Monty, and Jasper reserved for building walking and radios.

She was about to ask what was going on when someone else with the third walkie beat her to it.

"Tell Bellamy what?"

Bellamy.

"Murphy has a gun. He killed Myles── "

Gabriella's eyes widened at Jasper's words and she was quick to grab her walkie and rush towards the dropship while speaking into the walkie.

"John, what the hell are you doing?"

Bellamy and Gabriella caught sight of each other at the same moment the dropship door closed. Bellamy instantly threw the cup of water from his hands and rushed towards the door, alongside Gabriella, in hopes of going inside and seeing what was happening before it closed. But they were too slow.

Gabriella banged on the dropship door in anger and frustration, both her and Bellamy calling John's name in the hope of figuring out what he was planning to do.

"Open the damn door!" Bellamy yelled, Murphy's little revenge fantasy only adding to his long list of problems.

"You try to be the hero, Jasper dies."

Gabriella's eyes opened in horror as she tried her hardest to fight back the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. That was not the John Murphy she fell for. That was someone who only cared about revenge. Someone that was willing to kill one of his closest friends to get what he wanted. Someone she did not recognize anymore.

The two remaining leaders of the hundred spent the entire night sitting outside of the dropship. Gabriella tried to make Murphy talk to her multiple times, but he did not budge. Bellamy tried to threaten him, but he still ignored them.

Gabriella has not been this terrified in a very long time. She did not know what Murphy was capable of at that moment. She did not know if he would actually have the guts to kill Jasper who was one of his only friends from The Ark.

Octavia emerged from one of the foxholes and made a B-line towards the two leaders. She panted as she caught her breath before speaking, panic obviously in her voice, "I just heard Murphy has Jasper."

"Yeah." Bellamy nodded, before asking. "South foxhole done?"

(Seriously? Gabriella thought bitterly. John has Jasper locked up and that's what he thinks about?)

"What?" Octavia asked exactly what Gabriella was thinking. "Bellamy, our friend is in there with a killer." She cast the blonde an apologetic glance. "No offense."

"None taken." Gabriella huffed, rubbing her palm over her face, too tired to be delusional about Murphy's murder attempts.

"O, look around." Bellamy started, looking around camp momentarily before looking back at his younger sister. "No one's working. If the grounders attack us right now, we're all dead."

Octavia ignored her brother's words and brushed past the two leaders to stand in front of the door, "Murphy! Murphy, if you even touch Jasper──"

"Octavia." Bellamy tried only for her to ignore him again.

"── I swear to god, you're dead."

"Octavia." Bellamy spoke, louder this time, "We got this."

"Really?" The brunette scoffed, "Because it doesn't look like you're doing anything about it."

Raven cut the argument off by approaching the trio. "Ella, you were right. There's a loose panel on the back. If one of us can pop it, we can get through the floor."

"Good." Gabriela sighed in relief, glad that they finally had a good plan. "You do that. I'm going to stay here, maybe try to keep him from doing anything stupid again."

Realization crossed Octavia's dirt-covered face and she looked down sheepishly, "Sorry."

Gabriella and Bellamy gave them a nod, before the latter picked up the walkie, trying to reach Murphy again. "Murphy, I know you can hear me. All our ammo and food is in the middle level. You know that. You're leaving us vulnerable to an attack. I can't let that happen."

"Yeah, well, in case you haven't noticed, you're not exactly in control right now."

Bellamy looked at Gabriella and let his shoulders slump in defeat. He hesitantly put the walkie to his mouth, "Come on, Murphy. You don't want to hurt Jasper, you want to hurt me."

Gabriella quickly realized what he was going to do and shook her head rapidly."No way ── "

Bellamy kept his gaze locked with the blonde's as he spoke his next words, which could possibly sign his life sentence, "So what do you say? How about you trade him for me?"

"No." Both Octavia and Gabriella said, the moment Bellamy put the walkie in his hand down, but he ignored both of them and spoke again.

"All you have to do is let him go and I'll take his place."

"How?" Murphy asked after a few moments of silence during which he was obviously debating what he was going to do.

"Bellamy." Octavia started, staring up at her brother pleadingly. "If you do this, he'll kill you."

"If I don't he'll kill Jasper."

"Bellamy, you can't seriously be considering this." Gabriella said, looking at her co-leader with a mix of disbelief and fear.

As much as the Kane hated to admit it, she needed him as much as she needed Clarke which meant that losing him was not an option.

"I am." Bellamy said simply, not giving her any room to fight as he spoke into the walkie again. "Simple. You open the door, I walk in, he walks out."

The dropship door started slowly opening as a sign Murphy accepted the offer. Bellamy passed his sister his walkie and started to make his way towards the dropship, only for Gabriella to grip his wrist tightly, almost afraid to let go. And she was, she had no idea what Murphy's plan was and she was scared of what could happen inside.

"You really don't want me to go in with you?" She asked, looking up at him, silently pleading for him to tell her he wanted her to go in. But it was possible it would end up worse if she did and they both knew it.

"We can't have all three leaders gone, Gabi." Bellamy said, his features softening slightly at the fear on the blonde's pale face.

"He won't hurt me."

"I'm not risking that." Bellamy quickly shook his head, surprising both of them with the speed of his response.

"Just..." Gabriella started, sighing softly. "be careful."

Bellamy chuckled, trying to ease the tension. "Don't worry, I won't hurt your little boyfriend too much."

"I'm talking about you." Gabriella corrected, making Bellamy's movements half. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I appreciate the concern, Bambi." Bellamy said genuinely, smiling slightly, "But I got this."

Just as the last word came out of Bellamy's mouth, the dropship doors opened completely and Murphy's voice echoed through the camp, "Just you, Bellamy, unarmed. Ten seconds, or I'll put one in Jasper's leg."

"Take this." Bellamy said, quickly tugging his gun off his shoulder and passing it to Gabriella.

"We'll find a way to get you out of there. I promise." She told him, gripping his gun in her hand.

"You stay here. If I can't handle him, you're the only one who can. Now, get everyone back to work. The grounders are still coming." Those were Bellamy's last words before he turned around and walked into the dropship.

Not five seconds after Bellamy walked in, Jasper was being pushed out and the door was closing again. It took every cell in Gabriella's body not to run into the dropship. Instead of doing that, she helped Octavia untie Jasper and waited outside, hoping for the best.

"Do what I said." Murphy instructed after the first warning shot rang through the dropship, pointing to the red rope next to Bellamy's feet with the gun in his hands.

"Bellamy?" Came Gabriella's hesitant voice through the walkie, "Bellamy! Talk to me. Are you alright?"

"You want Queenie to know you're alive?" Murphy said, trying his best to keep his burning jealousy at bay. The man in front of him took everything from him. His freedom, his pride and his girl. "Start tying."

"Bellamy, do you copy?" That time it was Octavia's voice and it made Bellamy even more anxious.

"I'm fine." He said after he started tying. "Just a misfire. Now stop worrying about me and get back to work, all of you. And tell Raven to hurry her ass up."

"All right, that's long enough. Tie those two ends together." Murphy instructed, making Bellamy drop the walkie from his jades and do as he was told.

Once he was done, Murphy spoke up again, "All right. Now get up and toss it over."

At that moment it finally dawned on Bellamy what Murphy was planning. He wanted to hang him, just like he did with him. He swallowed thickly before tossing the tied rope up and facing Murphy again, "What do you want me to say? You want me to apologize? I'm─ I'm sorry."

"You got it all wrong, Bellamy. I don't want you to say anything. I want you to feel what I felt, and then...then I want you to die." Murphy said, glaring daggers at Bellamy.

"Is this about, Gabi?" Bellamy asked, noticing how Murphy's jaw tightened at just the mention of the girl he obviously has feelings for. "Nothing happened, okay? She doesn't feel anything for me. But she does for you. Are you really gonna do this to ── "

"Shut up." Murphy barked, tightening his grip on the gun in his hands. "We're not here to talk about girls. Now pull the stool under the rope and stand on it."

Once Bellamy did what he told him to, the red rope was right in front of his face. It was at this moment that he started to lose hope until Gabriella's voice was heard from the walkie on the floor.

"John?"

Her voice was soft and pleading, making him stiffen instantly.

"I know you can hear me. You don't have to do this, okay? Don't hurt him and everything will be fine. Everything will go back to the way it was. Just don't hurt him."

His stomach was heavy with envy at how quick Gabriella was to defend Bellamy and plead for him not to kill him. But a part of him also melted at her words, sensing the sadness and desperation in her tone. She did not want to be the only one left standing. She did not want to lead the delinquents through the war alone.

He held eye contact with Bellamy, to make sure he didn't move. Then, he picked up the walking and spoke into it with an apologetic tone. "I don't have a choice, Ellie."

"Yes you do." She responded stubbornly. "Just care about me more than you hate him. We'll figure it out, together. As long as you let him go."

"I'm sorry, Ellie." Murphy sighed. "But that's not gonna happen."

And just like that, the walkie was smashed into pieces when Murphy dropped it on the floor as hard as he could. He aimed his gun back at Bellamy, who was looking at him in disgust.

"This is insane." Bellamy started. "The grounders could ── "

Murphy cut off his pleading by shooting a gun at the fall nonchalantly, successfully shutting the older boy up.

"Put it over your head." He instructed, twirling the red rope in his hand.

Bellamy huffed and followed his instructions. "Happy now?"

Murphy tugged the rope, making Bellamy stumble a bit. He chuckled at the sight, "You're so brave aren't you? I mean, you came in here thinking you were just gonna turn this whole thing around, that you were stronger than me, and maybe one of your friends would come and help you. Well, what do you think now, Bellamy? Hm?"

Bellamy desperately gripped the rope around his neck and tried to keep his feet on the stool when the boy in front of him started tugging it faster.

"You know. I gotta hand it to you, Bellamy." Murphy taunted, "You got 'em all fooled. They actually look up to you, almost as much as they look up to Ellie and Clarke. Yeah, well, we know the truth, don't we? You're a coward. I learned that the day you kicked out the crate from beneath me. What did you say, again? That you were just giving the people what they wanted, right?"

"I should have stopped them." Bellamy admitted. I should have listened to her.

"Yeah, it's a little too late for that now."

"You think they're just gonna let you walk out of here?" Bellamy asked, trying to stall and give Raven a chance to get the door opened.

"Well, I think the princess is dead...but I know the king's about to die, so who's really gonna those people, huh?"

"You're forgetting about Gabi." Bellamy was quick to say, knowing that he would hit a nerve but also saying the truth. "You know, the only person that somehow saw through your psychopath facade when everyone else gave up on you. But you know you're gonna lose her as soon as you walk out if you kill me."

Murphy tried to look unfazed by his words but gripped the rope tighter and spoke as if Bellamy did not say anything, "Maybe I'd have to kill your grounder-pounding little sister ── "

Bellamy anger flared at the bare mention of his sister's life being in danger and he tried to kick Murphy with his feet but it only made him lose balance and almost fall. Murphy relaxed his hold on the rope when there was a yelp heard from under the floor. He smirked coyly. "I'm guessing that's her right now."

Much to Bellamy's dismay, Murphy started shooting blindly at the floor until he ran out of bullets. He panicked when he saw he ran out and kicked the stool from under Bellamy.

Noticing Bellamy was trying to breathe by holding his hands between the rope and his throat, Murphy tugged on the rope again. "Using your hands is a cheat. Mine were bound, remember?"

Bellamy was just starting to turn blue when the dropship door let out a loud creak and started to open.

"Raven, you did it!" Jasper's voice was heard outside.

Murphy started panicking and rushed to the upper level of the dropship when Gabriella, Octavia, and Jasper barged into the dropship.

Gabriella's eyes widened at the sight of Bellamy hanging from the dropship ceiling by a red rope and did not hesitate even a second before she took her axe out of the waistband of her jeans and cut him down.

Bellamy grunted in pain as soon as his body hit the floor and Octavia was quick to get on the floor, right above his head, and take the rope off his neck. "Bell, breathe. Breathe."

"Can you breathe?" Jasper asked, looking at his leader in concern.

When Bellamy took a deep breath of air, all three of them sighed in relief.

"Good. You're okay. You're okay." Octavia cooed.

"Wells, Raven, he's fine." Jasper yelled to the duo, who were still under the dropship.

As soon as Bellamy caught his breath, he got to his feet, ignoring Gabriella's attempts to stop him, and rushed to the hatch that led to the second floor.

"Murphy!" He yelled, "Murphy! It's over."

He grunted and started climbing up on the ladder, still yelling Murphy's name in anger. Gabriella watched as he failed to open the hatch and pleaded, "John! Open the door!"

"There's only one way out of this for you now!" Bellamy threatened, banging on the hatch.

All four of them on the first floor are startled when a loud explosion is heard from the second floor. The explosion must have gotten the hatch open since the next time Gabriella looked at Bellamy, he was opening it and climbing up to the second floor.

Gabriella quickly followed him up and almost choked on the amount of smoke that filled her lungs. The smoke makes her vision blurry but she's still able to see that all the gunpowder is gone and there's a huge hole in the wall, with Murphy nowhere in sight.

Jasper came in between Gabriella and Bellamy, who were staring at Murphy's blurry figure running away through the woods.

"The guy knows how to make an exit." Jasper comments, making both present leaders give him a deadpan look. "Should we go after him?" Jasper asked them after a moment of silence.

"No. Grounders will take care of Murphy." Bellamy was quick to shake his head, trying his hardest to ignore Gabriella's crestfallen expression.

"We're going after Clarke, Finn, and Monty." Bellamy started, surprising both Gabriella and Jasper. He held eye contact with Gabriella and added, "You were right. We don't abandon our own." Then he turned to Jasper and said "Two guns...you and me. That's it."

"Like hell." Gabriella scoffed. "I'm going with you."

"Now you're pushing it." Bellamy rolled his eyes. "You'll stay here with Raven to build up defenses. We lost a day because of this, and our gunpowder."

Gabriella's shoulder slumped in defeat, knowing he was right but still not feeling comfortable with him and Jasper going out there alone.

Bellamy turned around to make his way down when Jasper stopped him. "Bellamy, wait." The curly-headed man looked at him expectantly and Jasper let out a nervous breath. "Look, I just..."

Jasper could not find the right words to say 'thank you' so he wrapped his arms around Bellamy's shoulder and pulled him into a hug instead. Bellamy froze while Jasper whispered "thank you" and looked at Gabriella with a mix of panic and confusion.

Despite the situation they were in, Gabriella smiled faintly at the scene and bit back a chuckle, amused by the panic on Bellamy's face. The eldest Blake patted Jasper's back awkwardly.

Jasper pulled away and grinned. "Long way from 'whatever the hell you want'."

Bellamy let out a breathy chuckle but Miller's voice from the walkie broke up the moment. "All gunners! We got movement outside the south wall!"

The trio on the second floor shared a look before they sprinted outside of the dropship.

"Wait!" Miller yelled at the gunners ready to shoot. "Hold your fire! It's Clarke and Finn! Open the gate!"

Gabriella waited for the teenagers to open the door and let out a sigh of relief when Clarke came into camp with Finn behind her. The Kane did not waste a second to pull her best friend into a bone-crushing hug. Clarke stumbled backward a bit but wrapped her arms around the older girl's waist, letting out a sigh of relief herself.

Once they pulled away Clarke looked at the girl in front of her in confusion. "Hey, we heard an explosion. What happened?"

"Murphy happened." Bellamy answered for Gabriella, knowing she definitely did not want to talk about what happened a couple of moments earlier.

Jasper jogged towards Clarke and pulled her into a hug. "Thank god! Where have you been? Where's Monty?"

"Monty's gone?" Clarke asked, gaping in surprise.

Gabriella did not get a chance to panic because Finn spoke up from behind Clarke. "Clarke, we need to leave, now. All of us do. There's an army of grounders, unlike anything we've ever seen, coming for us right now. We need to pack what we can and run."

"You want us to run?" Gabriella scoffed, "We knew this was coming and we're not gonna run like a bunch of cowards to save our own ass."

"Ella," Octavia called out, "we're not prepared."

"And they're not here yet. We still have time to get ready. Besides, where would we go? Where would we be safer than behind these walls?" Bellamy exclaimed, backing Gabriella up.

"There's an ocean to the east. People there will help us." Finn said, making Octavia snap her attention to him.

"You saw Lincoln."

"Yeah." Finn nodded and Bellamy could not help but scoff at his words.

"You expect us to trust a grounder?"

"Especially after our people locked him up and tortured him." Gabriella agreed, "He led us into a trap last time. What makes you think this isn't another one?"

Bellamy nodded at her words before turning to the crowd of teenagers around them. "This is our home now. We built this from nothing with our bare hands! Our dead are buried behind that wall in this ground! Our ground! The grounders think they can take that away. They think that because we came from the sky, we don't belong here. But they're yet to realize one very important fact; We are on the ground now, and that means we are grounders!"

While Gabriella grinned in agreement, the other delinquents let out a bunch of 'yeah's' and Miller added, "Grounders with guns!"

"Damn right!" Bellamy exclaimed, "I say let 'em come!"

"Bellamy's right." Clarke cut in, making all attention turn to her. "If we leave, we may never find a place as safe as this. And god knows, in this world, we could be faced with something even worse tomorrow. But that doesn't change the simple fact that if we stay here, we will die tonight. So pack your things. Just take what you can carry, now."

When she was done with her speech, Clarke turned towards her two co-leaders with an apologetic look.

"You can't be serious." Gabriella said, shaking her head.

"I am." Clarke said, biting her lip. "If we stay here we die."

"But at least we die fighting." Gabriella was quick to shoot back and she was ready to keep arguing when Wells' weak voice caught her attention.

She turned around to see him trying to carry a half-conscious Raven in his hands. She rushed towards the pair, Clarke, Finn, Bellamy, and Jasper following right behind her.

"What happened?" Clarke asked, her eyes wide in horror.

"Murphy shot them." Jasper told her, noticing blood on Wells' shoulder.

Finn swiftly took Raven into his arms and Clarke grabbed Wells' shoulder to stop the bleeding. The Griffin hurriedly ordered Finn, "Get her onto the dropship."

Everyone except the three leaders headed inside and Bellamy looked down at Clarke with a stoic expression. "Clarke, leaving here is a mistake."

"The decision has been made." Clarke stated simply.

"God, you're acting like such a hypocrite right now." Gabriella scoffed and glared at her friend. "If all three of us are leading this camp and the two of us want us to stay then we're supposed to stay. This isn't absolutism. You can't decide everything by yourself."

Clarke looked taken aback by the attitude in Gabriella's voice but quickly recovered and met her with an emotionless expression. "The people made the decision. I'm just making this easier for all of us."

"Crowds make bad decisions." Bellamy chimed in. "Just ask Murphy. Leaders do what they think is right."

"I am."

Gabriella and Bellamy watched Clarke walk into the dropship with defeated looks on their faces. Bellamy let out a sigh, "This is why you're my favorite."

#bellamy blake #the 100 #clarke griffin #john murphy #bellamy blake imagine #bellamy blake x reader #the hundred #the 100 rewrite #john murphy x reader #john murphy x oc #bellamy blake x oc #raven reyes #octavia blake #original character

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thoughtfullyrainynightmare · 1 year

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Hey, today I got around reading your surprised by a storm series and it's so cute I loved it!

If you don't mind, id like to request Fuegoleon finding out they're having twins (one boy one girl) as his wife is in mid delivery and him holding his children for the first time please ?

Hiya!

Okay, so I love y'all for wanting soft Fue!! He really should have a family! I decided to combine these 4 requests, because I felt that they flowed together so nicely, and it means that the fic is slightly longer than... usually, but I do hope that you guys will like it!

Summary: Reader is afraid about the pain of the delivery, especially because she's having twins. Fue comforts her and offers to take her to Owen's office the next day to discuss more about the delivery. There both reader and Fue try one of Owen's spells that mimics the pain of delivery. And he's very much in pain (but there's no graphic depictions of the pain; the intended tone is slightly humorous). And at the end there's a successful delivery, and mom (reader), dad (Fue), and the kids (twins; one boy one girl), are laying in bed together, and Fue is just in awe.

Fanfic type: Oneshot Pairing: Fuegoleon x f!reader Length: ~2.6k Genre: hurt-comfort, slight comedy, family fluff (in that order) Warnings: obviously pregnancy, labour (no graphic depiction of labour though), fear of the delivery being painful, depictions of pain, I haven't actually given birth myself, so what's written here is to be taken lightly in that aspect; I don't actually know how it feels, possible typos so apologies for that

It was one of those nights where you simply lied awake and stared at the ceiling. It seemed as if the closer you came to your due date, of giving birth, the more anxious of it you grew. But it wasn’t about not wanting to be a mother, though it was scary too. You were told that nothing could quite prepare you for the task of being a mother, but it’d be a feat which you welcomed with open arms. Because you loved your children, even before they were born, and you knew that your husband would love them just the same.

It was more than clear from the way Fue stroked your stomach during the evenings, and spoke gentle nothings to them even if they couldn’t hear him. You were… almost sure, that they couldn’t hear him.

But your fear, uneasiness and anxiety had to do with the pain of giving birth. You had had horrid period cramps already, but you were told that giving birth would be much worse than that. And that… you couldn’t imagine a pain that bad. It had already been bad enough with dealing with being emotional and in pain during your periods and this just would be worse and it…

It was getting overwhelming. Especially because you knew that you’d be giving birth to twins.

So, you sat up and started crying as the emotions were just becoming too much. They were spilling over, and you just… sat there, sobbing. You hid your face into your hands and just… let it out. Because it was just too much.

“Honey…?” You heard the tired, muffled voice through the darkness. “What’s wrong..?”

There was a passing sense of guilt in you, since you knew how tired he must’ve been from work as well. And you didn’t want to bother him, burden him. But still, there was a hint of relief, of a wish to talk to him about it. And that wish soon silenced the guilt.

“I’m…” you begun, but still there was something in you holding back. Because, you also knew that despite the fear of pain childbirth would bring, it was too late to turn back now. So, the idea of grimacing over a fear that was inevitable felt… senseless? “I’m just… afraid of… how much giving birth will be…” you finally admitted while turning your face to the side and wiping tears from the corners of your eyes.

He sat up next to you, and for a moment the only sound in the room was the ruffling of sheets, as he, most likely, was thinking about what to say, what to tell you? Of course it’d hurt, he knew as much. And, if he was quite honest, he didn’t know how women could do it. Of course, he had read about giving birth and could site the stages of labour along with any other information he had managed to find, but… still, childbirth was no short of a miracle to him.

So, he placed one hand onto your shoulder, and wrapped the other around your middle, the bets he could. “I’ll be there, by your side through it all,” he assured you. “I understand that you’re afraid, and… though there are medicines and spells that can ease with the pain, I hear that it’s still quite the ordeal,” he was trying to reason with you. But he was also a problem solver. It was his love language. “Many women have gone through it, and thus there’s no reason why you couldn’t do it either,” another logical statement. “But I promise that I’ll be there with you through it, and I’ll do anything I can to assist you.”

He was trying. And he was being realistic.

The fact that he assured you that he’d be there for you, made you feel better, but it didn’t quite succeed in ridding you from all the fear you still held in your heart.

“If you wish, we may go to Owen to discuss about our options in more detail?” He suggested.

And you loved it when he said ‘we’.

“It… sounds good,” you told him, because it did sound good. It felt like you were being heard, and he really was there for you.

“Then we’ll do that as the first thing in the morning,” he told you.

“Don’t you have a meeting?”

“I can reschedule. There’ll be many more meetings, but I shall not be an absent father.”

There it was, that stubborn pride of a lion. But honestly, it made you love him even more.

“First thing in the morning,” you repeated with a subtle smile, after which he pressed a kiss onto your temple and pulled you back into the bed, holding you close.

His broad chest was pressed against your back, and you could feel it rising and falling as the sound of his breathing rang through the silence. Steady, soft, and secure. To the melody of which you drifted off to sleep.

---

The next day, as promised, you were at Owen’s office to discuss your options about pain relief during labour. And not many of the options presented were new to you. But, you supposed, you had forgotten about how many there were, while even Owen did admit that they couldn’t do miracles, and labour would still take a toll. It was a long ordeal, after all. And he was quite honest with you, when it came to admitting that it would still be painful.

He wasn’t going to lie, which… in a strange way made you feel a little better too. Because you would rather have him tell you the truth, rather than have him lull you into some idea of a painless childbirth, only to then be in agony during labour. At least you could mentally prepare yourself that it’d be like experience the worst cramps you had had, and then a little bit of extra.

But you could do it. You were sure that you could. And they would give you something for the pain to ease it. Warm baths, and walking supposedly also helped, so there were options.

“How painful will it be?”

You were a little surprised to hear Fuego ask that question, if you were honest. Because you had assumed him to focus more on the remedy. But you were even more surprised to hear Owen tell him that he had recently learned to use a spell to mimic the amount of pain a mother experiences during childbirth, in a way of allowing fathers to experience the feeling too.

“May I try?”

That was another question you certainly wouldn’t have anticipated while coming here. But as the initial, split second surprise faded, it did make sense. Fue would be the type of a person to try and understand your predicament, and this would be a good way of doing it.

But still you felt inclined to ask: “are you sure that you want to try?”

“Of course,” he replied while looking at you. “It allows me to connect with you, and understand what you’ll endure.”

“Mmm…” you uttered, first thinking about how you’d react if he went first, and it’d be horribly painful to him. Because the fact of the matter still was: he wouldn’t need to bear through it, while you did. “I’d like to try. First, if that’s okay.”

“If that’s what you wish,” he nodded to you, and then looked at Owen expectingly.

While Owen simply sat there, looking at the exchange, letting you have the discussion, before nodding to you, and instructing you to take a comfortable position before casting a spell.

“Alright, so this mimics the pain of a contraction in the early delivery,” he explained.

You took a deep breath and readied yourself the best you could. Okay, okay, I can do this… you encouraged yourself as Fue took your hand.

“It’ll be alright, my love. You’re strong,” he encouraged as the spell begun to take effect.

And it… it did hurt yes, but it wasn’t much different than a period cramp.

Your eyes shifted from side to side, expecting it to grow worse, but after a while it was gone.

“That’s… it?” You looked at Owen with a frown.

“A contraction in the early stages of labour yes. The few next ones will increase in pain level, much like they would during delivery, and the last that you’ll experience is equivalent to the pain you’d feel during delivery. But I’ll try to keep the last one brief.”

“Okay,” you said with a nod, while again readying yourself.

And Owen continued with the spell.

The next one was worse. And the one after that was even worse. Actually, it reminded you of that time you were on your period and you had had to run and do sit ups. Which had been awful. Horrible. Gut-wrenchingly painful. Just as was your expression and reaction this time.

But honestly, you had expected much, much worse.

And that came with the last stage. Your body curled around itself out of impulse, and your breathing was heavy and deep.

That was when Owen stopped the spell.

The pain faded, but you still sat there, hunched over yourself with a frown on your face.

“Are you alright, my love?” Fue asked, while still holding your hand.

“Mhm?” You hadn’t intended to hum it out as a question.

“Yes?” Owen replied with a question of his own while sitting there with slight concern on his face.

“I’m… not sure?” You said. “I was expecting something… worse?”

Owen gave you a slow nod while choosing his words. “I have to emphasize the fact that it is only a simulation, and what you’ll experience may differ drastically. And. This time the amount it took for each pain impulse to be in effect was considerably shorter than what it’ll be during actual delivery. Exhaustion and the fact that you’ll experience the pain for longer periods of time, do amplify the pain experienced in actuality.”

“Hmm…” you hummed.

“So, you still should do your best to prepare for the delivery.”

“Oh yes, of course,” you replied. Because… of course you would. But you also supposed that it was a good thing that he said it out loud.

As you fell in thought Fuegoleon asked if he could try it out now that you seemed to be alright, to which Owen agreed.

So, Fue took a comfortable position on the chair, as Owen again cast his spell.

Fue’s eyes opened wider, and his body hunched forward as he looked at you with a frown on his face, as if he was asking a question with his expression alone. During the pause, he took a few breaths, slightly deeper than usually.

“Regular… period pain?” He asked, this time managing to voice the question.

“Quite close yeah,” you replied. “Not as bad as being on your period while having to exercise,” you continued right before the second wave hit him.

This time his teeth clenched together, as he leaned forward, even if only a little again.

“This… cannot be,” he managed.

And the came the third wave.

And a fourth. And fifth.

Sweat dripped down his face, and his breathing was ragged from the pain. His face was pale, and his arms were wrapped around his stomach as he still tried to maintain his composure.

The pride of a lion.

But by the time the last wave came, he was on the floor, growling while grinding his molars, fingers trying to dig into the floor without avail.

And then the pain ceased.

But the sensation lingered. Just as with you. And again his head turned towards you with a frown and a wordless question, which this time around was mixed with a profound sense of awe.

“Does sting a bit, doesn’t it?” You smiled.

And you could have sworn that you heard Owen chuckle under his breath ever so slightly.

---

The weeks rolled past as the due date came closer. All the way until it arrived. And the delivery was without complications.

If you didn’t count Fue stressing more than you would have expected. In fact, you didn’t think that you had ever seen him so on edge than on that day. It was almost like he was angry, angry about your pain, angry about you having to endure something with which he couldn’t help you.

He was helpless. And he hated that.

But by the time the delivery was done, and you were so tired that you couldn’t lift your arms anymore, silence settled into the room. Just... silence, and awe and bliss that you couldn’t describe even if given all the time in the world.

Your first born was by your side. He had cried so much at first, but now it seemed like he had realized that it was alright.

Everything was alright. Mom was there… dad was there… and it was… alright.

Somehow you found the strength to turn onto your side and look at him… His hands were so small… his nose was so tiny and he was… just perfect.

You reached closer to him, placing your arm around him, as if to protect him, without putting the weight of your arm onto him.

“They’re perfect…” Fue whispered while cradling your daughter in his arms, without breaking his gaze from her.

“They are,” you agreed, while looking at your son again.

He placed a kiss onto your daughter’s forehead before turning to you, and placing her next to your son before climbing into the bed himself.

His movements were careful, soft, almost hesitant.

..Yes hesitant.

His eyes were looking intently to your children, as if he was afraid of looking away, as if he was afraid of something happening to them if he dared as much as look away. He might have just met his children, but it was evident that he was already filled with nothing but love, support and devotion to them. They’d be his world. Along with you.

You, and your children were his world.

As simple as that.

And as he laid in bed next to you, wrapping his arm over yours, as if to protect you and the kids now sleeping in between you two, you couldn’t see any fatigue in him, despite having been awake with you throughout the delivery. But there was also a sense of… wonder? The question of if it was real, that moment, was reflected from his eyes. The sheer disbelief if the happiness of that moment was real.

Which it was.

It was…

Your daughter let out a babble in her sleep, and you could have sworn, that even through your tired state, you could see a tear of joy collecting into his eyes.

“They’re perfect…” he whispered, with soft, tender syllables again that flowed through the tranquil silence of the room.

“They are…” you agreed again with faint amusement in your tone as your eyelids begun feeling even heavier.

“Thank you…” he still said.

But you weren’t quite sure what to say, because a ‘you’re welcome’ seemed… out of place, somehow. So, you simply nodded, and it was enough.

It was more than enough.

He was thankful of you, of your kids, of your family, and he didn’t need you to say anything.

He didn’t need you to say anything.

It was enough for you four to simply be there; exist, as a family. The little, perfect family that you couldn’t have dreamed of even in your most wonderful of daydreams.

But the thing was, you didn’t need to dream about it, because it was right there, in the waking world.

#fuegoleon x reader #fuegoleon vermillion x reader #black clover fanfiction #black clover oneshot

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