#of both my emotions and other ppl so sometimes I can just

[cherrysnax]

was talking to my butch last night about feelings and self perception and it’s weird that ppl see me as kind. not nice, but kind

[upsidedowngrass]

im thinking abt liam and bryce SO much rn now. theyre dynamic is so. sorry liam. sorry bryce

[scarletiswailing347]

you can really tell i mellowed out about zam cause i draw him about as much as i do my other blorbos now aka never lol jk

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[caruliaa]

i hope the celling fan fall on yall 😒

[erythristicbones]

i do think it's really funny that JDK as a project started out with Jonas as the main focus and everything else secondary, but then I put my repurposed old edgy OC i adored when I was 12 in it.......and now I'm just like "what if she gets to be super important too? What if she's just as integral to the story?" bc i have no self control

[butchwheels]

i think more neurodivergent people should practice saying "hey please only say yes to me infodumping to you about my favorite things when you have the emotional capacity for it, don't force yourself to or it defeats the purpose and if you hide it you'll grow resentment unnecessarily and if i ever find out i'll feel incredibly betrayed" to loved ones, even if they also are autistic/adhd/etc. it is an important boundary that is in OUR control and would radically change our sense of trust with others. we can be authentic AND build trust if we communicate effectively with other people

this can also apply to passionate ppl in general, and to their loved ones who think that making a martyr of themself so their loved one can ramble to them beyond what's comfortable makes them a better partner. it actually often does not. the only way we can learn to trust that you actually want to listen to us when we ask is when you say no sometimes too. otherwise we'll go into a guilt loop everytime, bc we don't have the data to prove that you would tell us if it was too much. i think even without neurodivergency being involved ppl are likely to martyrize themselves for their loved ones not realizing that being a martyr AT ALL will ALWAYS backfire at your loved ones. it never just affects you, and it always impedes genuine connection and trust. even i have been guilty of letting my autistic friends ramble at me until i was exhausted, and then straining beyond that bc it felt too rude to tell them, even when it was negatively affecting our emotional connection on my end. but communication is key, folks. it's a hard habit to learn but one we all must learn, and both sides need to do it

[beachf4gz]

I recently was able to restart my adhd meds after a few months of them being out of stock so I have been reading wayyy more DE fanfic again, and something I find kind of interesting is how prominant certain in-game choices are in regards to Harry's fanon characterisation. I understand why the communist route and sorry-cop copotype are by far the most common ways ppl write Harry- I think most people playing the game end up identifying with those dialogue options and therefor end up following those routes (and its a fairly big time commitment to replay with the intention of seeing all the different route you could take)- but I do sometimes really wish there was more writing for the different copotypes and political orientations because the ways Harry's internal processes and position in the world are affected are REALLY interesting to me. I completely understand being uncomfortable (or just uninterested) by the idea of exploring an ultraliberal, moralist or facist character- I think fanfiction as a medium is compelling in part because you are conveying your own relationship to a piece of work, including your own moral reactions and beliefs applied upon the work's characters- but I think DE includes the option to *play as* a character occupying these roles (rather than just presenting them through npcs) in order to invite players to experience and examine the act of being these things both internally and within social contexts.

I think Harry can be fascinating and heartbreaking as a character study in any of these routes, and the gameplay can feel radically different between them even following the same plot. For example, I found the moralist route deeply evocative. It has an uneasy, desperate feeling to it as someone struggles to occupy the in-group, to live in normalcy and civility in the face of their own world ending. It creates an odd position for Harry as accutely disabled and vulnerable- contrasting percieved social acceptance and safety with the tearing of reality "as it should be" at the failure of the social mechanisms he believes in to meet their promise of happiness or safety. The gameover at the statue left me genuinely stunned when I first got it, its sort of horrifying in it's bluntness, and I found it really upsetting in this specific raw way. Its an excellent way of demonstrating, emotionally, the failure and cruelty of liberalism upon those who believe in it- but also its devastating for Harry's character as he is presented through the moralist dialogue. I also found it rlly compelling how the honor cop dialogue options explore Harry as a person seeking dignity in the face of their social ostracisation, and how apocalypse-cop explores the social modes of someone who has fallen out of the "normal reality space", how impaired his ability to live is in response to a full awareness of overwhelming, total threat. I'm not good at writing essays and stuff, idk if I'm explaining this well, but all of the routes are written with such an intimate and personal examination of how it *feels* to occupy different modes of being- of the way the world will treat you if you interact with it in certains ways, or the person you will be and the emotional shape your life will form depending on your framework. I think its kind of abstract and difficult to write properly, but I think its something you can reaaaallly sink yourself into if you find Harry a compelling character- I personally do (lmao) and its something I love seeing whenever I get the chance. I get the appeal of Harry as an exccentric mentally ill communist whose political beliefs are, in social contexts, extentions of his rejection of social norms and position as othered under liberal belief- I do also just enjoy the fact that this version of Harry is only one mode of being he could occupy, and the varying ways in which he is socially, emotionally or cognitively enabled/disabled by other modes of being, and the position the game takes in exploring them all as choices or as routes and reactions by the same person- as someone afloat and disempowered in the world attempting to find "how to live".

[enamouredfae]

little astro observations i've made based on my little chart collection and experience 🎀

honestly i've observed this only in myself but you have a natural pull to people who's sun is the same sign as your 5th house, mine is in pisces and my bf, my best friend and my cat are all pisces, not to mention that 90% of my crushes have been pisces as well.

there is something about pisces and bunnies, they will either love bunnies (have tattoos of them, make art about them, be their favourite animal), own or have owned a bunny or they look like one, (my bf is all of the above).

in synastry a north node over a person's mars may indicate the north node person taking the mars person's virginity.

in synastry a person's moon in your 9th house may indicate they understand/feel/empathize with emotions in a different way from you due to where they come from and how they were culturally socialized, i have this with my bf and he comes from a north american individualist country where your emotions are your responsibility and other's are theirs and i come from a post communist country where you are responsible for everyone's emotions, and ppl live for other people.

in vedic astrology i am a hasta moon, claire nakti made a video on hasta nakshatra and describes hasta natives as "fairy pretty" and i have a pair of dragonfly fairy wings tattooed on my back, plus ive been told (before my tattoo) that i give off fairy vibes.

saturn ruled 3rd house makes you have to spend a lot of time in public transportation, for example you might live far from where you need to go, for me it used to take me 1 hour at least to get to some places, sometimes i'd have to wait an hour just to then spend on hour on the bus. just overall imposes patience for transportation

a lot of astro observation posts say that an aquarius 4th house makes you feel like u dont belong in your family or that you're the black sheep of the family, but i dont find that accurate at all, i feel like it makes the native the one to challenge family values, they may be the one to make their family change for humanitarian reasons

idk if this is a real technique already used by astrologers but i have a wholesign MC theory. in wholesign the midheaven can fall in the 9th/10th or 11th house. my theory is that wherever it falls is the way you get ahead in life, the way through which u become publicly known or get your career. If it falls in the 9th your career is owed to ur studies/travel, 10th your hard work/experience/reputation, 11th your connections/social media/friends.

i think i have the most literal astrological placements being passed down from your parents example. obviously placements dont always get passed down, my sister has none of their placements, but perhaps being the first child may have contributed to this since the first child is when parents still have their personality not yet influenced by parenthood. so my moon and my sun, which we know symbolize the parents amongst other things, are at the same degree and they sextile eachother exactly, which I think is an indicator that my parents are very harmonious together; they are still together and in love even now. furthermore, my moon and sun are the same signs of my parents' stelliums, i have a libra moon and my mom has a libra stellium, and my sun is in leo and my dad has a leo stellium.

sibling's ceres in your first is feeling like a parent to them, i constantly tell my sister she's my daughter, we even have an inside joke that i gave birth to her at 5, and my ceres is in her fourth, the house of motherhood so she definitely sees me as a parental figure.

me and my bf have eachother's jupiter in our 7th houses, besides being in a serious committed relationship, we want to start a business together. so i feel this is a great indicator for great partnership in both regards.

i feel like this is also a technique but i haven't really heard much about it, generational planets affect us through societal conditions/problems whereas personal planets affect us through personal problems. for example: let's go with two malefics, i have pluto in the first house which i feel would be very different from having let's say mars in the first house. the first house is amongst many things our appearance which i am insecure about. i have never in my life been told i am ugly, i am actually constantly told i am beautiful, and yet it does not click. it isn't through personal experiences that i have problems with my appearance but through consumption of society ideals. this is of course an oversimplification but you get what i mean.

chiron retrograde in natal changes our perception on trauma. me and my bf have the same chiron, his is retrograde while mine is not. he constantly says he is not traumatized, whereas i can tell i am. he 100% has traumas, the thing is that it's like he's left them behind? he just says it happened a long time ago so it's done. my observation is that retrogrades in your natal may make u leave things in the past or have a "it happened a long time ago it doesn't matter" attitude towards trauma. the thing is he acts like a non-traumatized person which is crazy to me.

i have a skin condition called dermatographia, also overall very dry itchy acne prone skin, i also have scars. here are a few placements that i have that i feel may be an indicator for skin conditions: mars ruled first house (traditional rulership) mars is inflamation and scarring, saturn in seventh saturn is dry and some people consider that libra(7th house) rules the skin, saturn opposite ascendant, saturn square venus i see venus as clear skin due to its aesthetical perfection.

saturn in 1st, especially conjunct ascendant indicates identity issues. borrowing elements of identity from people you admire, not feeling like you identify with the gender assigned at birth, not identifying with your birth name, etc.

having a libra 12th house can indicate traumatic female friendship. the 12th house is the house of hidden enemies, so you perceive these people as your friends, sometimes even best friends, so when they betray you it is very jarring and traumatic. having female friends that are jealous of you, female friends that pretend to like you, female friends that talk shit about you and even sometimes lie about u, friends that purposefully hide information from you, that want what you have, sometimes sabotaging what you have or trying to make u lose the thing they want, etc. this is a very difficult placement, because you love these people so much that you would've given up things, changed things or shared things with them if only they were honest with you. in the best of cases the friendship is real and full of love but you grow apart, and this is also painful because you can't control it.

venus square ascendant is people telling you they love you and you not believing them. just overall hardships around love and seeing yourself as loveable. double points when it also squares saturn making u think that if u are loved it's hard work or that people had to convince themselves to, that you're hard to love.

people with venus conjunct mars in first are stunning and have an androgynous vibe to them. sometimes this is visual, strong muscular body with graceful posture, but it can reflect in their personality, just strength imbued with vulnerability, people that surprise you, that are balanced.

taurus 6th house can indicate finding romantic partners in the workplace.

having a stellium in the 4th and no planets in the 10th, can indicate a strong connection to your mom and a disconnect from your dad, especially when the sun is in the opposite sign of your tenth house(in your 4th) feeling like your dad is not the way he should be.

🎀

please let me know what you think, im very curious how they hold up in other people's charts, critiques are welcome and invited.

[an-exasperated-hades-kid]

So I've been seeing a lot of will solace hate, and I'm here to defend my son.

First of all, he's not a toxic person at all he's a human who can mess up at times and be unintentionally rude, like in that one scene boo where he says

‘Oh, please.’ Will sounded unusually angry. ‘Nobody at Camp Half-Blood ever pushed you away. You have friends – or at least people who would like to be your friend. You pushed yourself away. If you’d get your head out of that brooding cloud of yours for once –

^ that is rude but he didn't have bad intentions because according to him nico wasn't scary and the people that he hung out with - Lou Ellen and Cecil- didn't think that nico was scary either as they were both friendly towards him when they met him at the Roman camping area outside chb so while his delivery wasn't good he meant no harm and he also helped nico realize that not everyone hates him and then there are a few jokes that he made that people consider toxic or offensive but nico was never offended or sad about these jokes he only rolled his eyes and acted exasperated so he knew will meant no harm .

Will is canonically described as a laid-back and calm person, but he is also stubborn when it comes to certain things like medical related things which is understandable since he can feel everything physically wrong with a person by just touching them and is persistent that they don't die and Take care of themselves which is understandable since he saw majority of his siblings die and doesn't want more ppl to die .

Will is actually quite a complex character he's calm and laid back but he's stubborn and strict when he needs to be he's supportive and loving to nico but since he's a kid he struggles with being understanding sometimes hence why he asks persephone for advice on how to be there for nico properly showing that he's mature enough to ask for help . He's also someone represses his emotions because he thinks that as head counselor, he has to be a perfect example, and he told this apollo in the 1st toa book. He's also pretty insecure about his abilities, as shown in boo

Evidence:

You did,’ confirmed Nico. ‘But it was the way you did it. You made it clear that you wanted me around. You said you wanted me to come to the infirmary and help, because … because you could use a “friendly face”.’

‘It was true. And you did help.’

‘You brought me closer instead of rejecting me,’ Nico said, his voice cracking. ‘I’d never been called a friendly face. Ever. You made me rethink everything – my place in camp, my crush on Percy, my future. It took you scolding me like you were the camp director to make me realize that I was … wanted.

___

But with Nico … It’s hard, Persephone. I want the best for him, and he seems to disappear into his darkness, like he’s hiding in a place where he doesn’t want my light.’

‘Then why not offer him your darkness

_____

Nico sighed in exasperation. He hated working with other people. They were always cramping his style, making him uncomfortable. And Will Solace … Nico revised his impression of the son of Apollo. He’d always thought of Will as easygoing and laid back. Apparently, he could also be stubborn and aggravating

_______________________________________

In conclusion will isn't toxic and he isn't perfect and if I'm wrong about something please point it out cause I haven't read the books in a while and if I missed something please point it out and I'm sorry for the typos I wrote this without wearing my glasses as 3 am after studying for a test

[bambiilooza]

How sad do you think elpenor would get when hearing perimedes say "I love nobody, that's my power" on his face? Do you think he brushes it off as perimedes lashing out due to his depression or does it actually hurt elpenir deep down?

OK I HAVE THOUGHTS ON THIS. THESE GAYS MEAN THE WORLD TO ME. I COULD WRITE A WHOLE BOOK ON THEM.

this is long sorry. my excuse is i'm gay 😎👍

i wanna say before i get to the shippy stuff, he probably meant all kinds of love - not just romantic - so that makes things actually sad

i do think elpenor would be upset by it but not the cliche unrequited love 'oh he doesn't love me' greek tragedy route but like 'oh he doesn't think he can love. what does that mean for how he views himself?' i don't think he'd say anything about it cuz it's probably a very common thing for peri to say and there may have been times where he was 'what do u mean by that haha' that ended in awkward sad silence

peri's song has the saddest fucking lyrics with the most upbeat tune (and along with jay's silly dancing and the lyrics in what elpenor says about him) and that just shows he's putting on this cocky, persona to hide his true emotions. 'can't fail if i don't try' just makes it seem like he tries to stop himself from loving cuz that's difficult with his state right now. if he just keeps everything surface level and goofy appearance wise, no one will pick up on who he truely is.

but elpenor would see through that as he says it the song. if you've seen my drawing for it, you can see i clearly took the 'you don't know him like i do' lyric to mean they're already together in some way - it's not a pining situation. i think that it probably started of as a tentmate sex thing but grew to be romantic. i do think neither have said anything about it, peri because he doesn't want to love. it's too hard right now because admitting he wants love means admitting he wants TO love and that's hard.

elpenor is happy to keep things in this grey area where they - and everyone else - knows they're in love but haven't said anything about it for the sake of peri but it would hurt him. he wants to love and he's ready but what hurts him more is the possibility that peri doesn't love himself.

but the gist is, he would be upset personally ofc. he knows there is a deeper reason to it, those words would probably hurt. the reason he'd actually be upset is because of what peri's ideology means on how he views himself. that would hurt him and i like to think polites would be there for him to talk to ( they're both really sweet and they'd be great friends i think) about what he should do and stuff.

also i'm not saying 'he just like me fr fr!!' but, the idea that peri hides his depression in the way he does is pretty similar to how i used to be (and get sometimes) and the 'i can't love ppl' is a mentality i've had for a long time - i'm better now!! - cuz i didn't think they could love me. there is probably smth smiliar like that happening here with him.

idk if any of that made sense. my thoughts most of the time are not in english so it's hard to get it down

guys plz send me stuff about these guys. i like the au and drawing for all the other characters but these two actually live in my head. i do not think they're leaving anytime soon

[lowkeyrobin]

Curious about MCYT with a partner that's usually calm and collected, suddenly being super angry at someone bothering them, maybe almost fighting the person brothering them? (Btw i really love your writing, it's super fun to read!!)

ooooo okay !! I see the vision, hopefully I pulled it off LMAO ; also thank you so much!! that means so much to me, I feel like my writings really corny and dumb sometimes and too boring so thank you, it means a lot to me 🫶🫶🫶

MCYT ; fire in the twilight

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, & quackity

warnings ; language, talk about SA/perverts/men being weird

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

you're a very calm person

but when you get mad you get maddddd

he's surprised you haven't beaten the shit out of him yet

someone was being kinda weird at a meet and greet at vidcon and you were already stressed and overstimulated from taking pictures with everyone and signing merch and youtooz (guys should I try buying the slimecicle plushie? I don't wanna support a bad company but he's so cute :()

someone took a picture of you stretching where your shirt lifted a bit and showed off your midsection

Tommy saw and immediately called them out while you were taking a solo pic w a fan

when you heard him you just froze and nearly yelled

"Hey, please delete that. out of your trash too, seriously"

"Dude, fucking delete that shit. that's not okay, actually."

you end up nearly beating the shit out of the person....

then comes the Twitch apology 😭😭

you nearly went into a spiral explaining that it's never okay to take photos of ppl without them knowing, no matter when or where

he feels really bad for you but you're able to sit down and calm down to your usual self 🫶🫶🫶

RANBOO

you were getting fed up with how people were treating you and them online and just kinda lost it on stream

your chat was filled with assholes wondering where people were and why you hadn't publicly talked to them in over 12 hours and what your plans with everything were etc etc

"Dude, please stop. all of you. for weeks this has been going on, stop putting me and ranboo on these pedestals and expecting shit from us. seriously, it's horrible for both of us and our health. if you wanna see Tubbo or Tommy, go watch them! they're both live right now. Seriously, it's not funny and it's not gonna make us pump out more content and do what you want. we're people too, we get sad and burned out and tired. eventually content creation gets unfun and you won't get what you want. behave yourselves and do better. we don't owe you anything"

ranboo literally tears up a bit because he was watching the stream in the other room and could hear you, and you were visibly tearing up

you could feel your hands shaking and you just kind of ended the stream because you were so worked up and didn't wanna do it anymore

he immediately wrapped you in a hug because you were just so angry

gave you a pillow to punch and left you be for a while

you're usually very calm but your emotions exploded when you were bottling it up too much

they understood that but their heart bled for you after that, especially w all the hate that came from it :/

FREDDIE BADLINU

people were throwing things at you on stage during Tommy's live show

you played it off as jokes and were fine with jt because they were doing it sneakily in a fun way, roses, kandi bracelets, plushies etc, until someone threw their bra at you

"Okay, can we not?" You scrunch your eyebrows, looking into the crowd as you throw the bra back into the crowd. "That's fucked, don't ever do that again, learn event etiquette. never throw your bras on a fucking stage, it's weird and disgusting"

Freddie looks over at you, standing next to Tommy, giving you a "Holy shit are you okay?" look while also looking for the culprit trying to get their bra back

Tommy instantly stopped the show to reprimand the person

meanwhile Freddie was whispering to you to make sure you were okay

you were pissed but put your big kid pants on and continued the show

you apologized on Twitter after the show because you were really loud and kind of humiliated the people but you were justified with the situation

the people (and the girl who owned the bra) apologized and the situation was over

Freddie feels so bad bc you're so calm and laid back but ppl always have to test your limits :(

NIKI NIHACHU

people were filming you two out in public and taking pictures and you kinda lost it that they weren't listening to niki, telling them to kindly stop

"can you stop taking pictures? she's uncomfortable, please stop." you speak in a stern voice

the fans just like stare at you in shock because you're usually very calm and chill and you basically yelled at them (you reprimanded them because one it's the law two you both didn't want to be disturbed on your walk)

you're in a miserable mood the whole way home because yk how twitters gonna act when they see that

you quickly make a statement before any video leaks or anything, addressing the situation and apologizing to the strangers

ppl got ur back tho and showed support considering they were filming you on a nice walk without consent

she feels so bad seeing you get upset about it and feels like it's her fault

lots of reassuring her that it's never her fault and you're always happy to defend her and you don't mind getting a little loud to defend her

ALEX QUACKITY

you got really upset with someone harassing a bunch of creators during the qsmp Brazil meetup

"Dude, leave them alone. they don't want to take a picture with you and they don't owe you anything! you're being creepy to all those women right now, do you not realize that or something?"

you were furious seeing that many on your friends, even while on a trip, couldn't just not be harassed by men

the weirdo scurried off but you were literally this close to fighting the fucker

you were seething dude, like, shaking because you were so astonished someone could actually be that pushy and that much of a dick over a picture

Alex wrapped you in a tight hug and just squeezed you until you calmed down while the poor people who were harassed had reassured you that they were okay and that they appreciated and thanked you for standing up for them

Alex genuinley apologizes because the way you reacted just proved to him that you definitely are calm and laid back but when you got angry, you got angry

he feels so bad because you had to stand up for your friends and watch them be harassed and shit

[thevviitchinghour]

Astrology Observations

DISCLAIMER: This is based on my own experiences and research it does not mean it's inherently true!! Pisces Placements aren't intentionally fake but switch up so quick. I have had so many pisces placement friends that r just so wishy washy. Pisces Venus depending on the person will literally choose shitty partners over even their closest friends! They just want to fit into the mold their partners create for them so bad u won't even recognize their personalities sometimes in certain relationships smfh. Taurus Placements get just as jealous as scorpio and can be JUST as bad about it. Have you ever dealt with a Taurus who felt lesser than you? just terrible. Pluto in sag is an interesting generational placement. It's cool to look at how it shows up. The way ppl are so self righteous and like to flaunt how their life philosophy is best. Going on social media spreading dogmatic beliefs and wanting to be a teacher but actually guiding people into the dark. Unrealistic morals & ideas that are half-baked and rooted in egotistical projections of what people deem correct. Even if the legitimacy is questionable at best. The way there is an excess of waste, consumerism, and lack of appreciation of it. The rise of fake spiritual influencers & conversations being hd around xenophobia, racism, religious beliefs & cultural appropriation. Pluto - Mercury people seem to be able to develop telepathy fairly easy or have a natural predisposition towards it? A lot of my friends who are clairaudient or sometimes hear other ppls thoughts have Pluto - Mercury aspects. Gemini Moons are actually very emotionally nuanced and understanding, I feel like Aquarius is the main air sign who tries to rationalize the emotions of OTHERS. I feel like Gemini moreso tries to understand every aspect of something. The emotional and logic, the dynamics of it all, the duality. Libra Moons seem to be more selfish than both Aquarius AND Gemini moons. It's not that they don't care about others, but the way they think/feel (which isn't surprising considering they're aries sister sign) is usually in relation to how people feel about THEM. What people think of them, how they are being perceived. How they can be liked more, etc. That's not to say Libras are not caring about others because they are!! I honestly like Libra Moons, I find them to be very sweet and considerate and if they really love you they are super giving and chill.

Aquarius Moons are solution oriented, they want to figure out how to solve or understand the root of an issue so it can be done and over with. This can cause them to come off as emotionless, dull, and unempathetic. I notice though that immature Aquarius moons are very selfish & think they're the only ones who suffer. I see that in immature capricorn moons as well. I believe it has to do with saturn. Libra Mercuries are so poetic imo Virgo is literally ruled by mercury, the only way you're going to find them boring is if they don't trust you enough to open up to you or converse with you. They are extremely intuitive & pick up on the patterns of others easily. More often than not it usually only takes a virgo a small period of time whether it be minutes or days to decide they actually just don't like you and don't want to engage with you. They also tend to mirror, so if you're boring maybe that's why you think they're boring.

[fhrlclln]

Hello! I read your angsty Miguel fic and I need more immediatelyyyyy

Basically I’ve been seeing some tiktoks pointing out that when Miguel talks about the Peter from Miles universe, he sounds very emotional. Like heartbroken emotional. Some ppl theorize “hey what if they knew each other and that’s why Miguel is even more pissed?” My head ran with it and what if it was spider!fem! reader who was the Spider-Man on Miles’ universe who died?

Miguel and reader were hardcore pining for each other but he never made a move cuz he was terrified of anything happening and still had his heart closed off. Only to get hit with the intense feelings of grief and anger when the news arrives that she’s dead and only serves as a motivator to stop Miles

miguel o’hara x spider!fem! reader

OOOH THIS IS AN INTERESTING APPROACH ON THAT. and also, 🤌 angst 🤌, we are on an angst train now HEHE.

on that note, i’m changing the lore a bit again, since in my understanding the first time miguel leaped through the multiverse is after the events of into the spiderverseee. i find it so cute that what if miguel would actually just observe in a dimension and hang around a bit before the main events will transpire. T_T

anways enjoy, anon babes!! i had fun researching and writing this. <3

angst under the cut

｡･:*˚:✧｡

when miguel first leaped into the spider-verse, it was way before when miles was bitten by the spider. the multiverse to him at that time, was a working experiment for him; and still had room for improvement as he created a prototype of the dimensional time watch for the big dimension leap he was studying with lyla. sure, it made him able to leap into certain dimensions, though only for a short amount of time since the prototype still had the faulty feature of preventing his molecules from destabilizing. lyla told him it was dangerous to stay so long in a separate dimension, since they still had to study the part to prevent that faulty feature. overall, this minimal dimension leaps were just a trial for both. sort of a observation trial. yet…

he just hadn’t expected to meet you so early in his life.

earth-1610B, in calculations, he wasn’t expecting much from this variant dimension, it was already normal as he can tell. typical setting and typical story that runs along from previous spider dimensions he leaped into. miguel only chastised himself to explore the dimension for at least an hour or so, knowing the longer he stays, he might disappear from existence and he wasn’t going to risk that. lyla would beat his ass if they don’t complete the watch. in his observation though, he found it comforting to be hanging around a different location than in the futuristic nueva york. it was more… comforting he thinks.

cars honked, the sound of new yorkers chatting along talking about everything, the lights at night was an absolute scene to behold when he sits atop of the empire state building; a little hard to climb up there but he managed to climb without recking the building with his claws. everything was an interesting sight to look at, even watching the neighborhood’s own spider-woman fight sometimes.

you were interesting and perfect, as miguel deemed. everyone loved you, always fighting hard and though you sometimes get beaten down, there was always this sheer determination for you to stand up. which was something he admired even though he won’t admit it. and you’re pretty. too pretty in fact when he got a glimpse of your face at some point. tonight however, he might have fucked up big time the rules he set himself to not fiddle with any dimension he had visited. talk to their spider-people.

he was unmasked and dressed in casual clothing with a hat on, blending with the crowd. miguel enjoyed a stroll along times square, holding a classic new york hotdog in his hand as he takes a bite out of it. he took the time to observe times square, completely not noticing you silently speed-walking by as you collided with him on accident, both your attentions caught by the sudden disturbance.

“ay, watch where—“

“i’m sorry!” you squeak, alarmed at his harsh tone as you frantically glanced up, eyes wide staring at him. his eyes widened as well hearing your voice, your pretty face staring at him as you apologize profusely for not looking as miguel told himself he was screwed right there and now.

“god, sorry! you have mustard on your t-shirt, shit, shit, shit—“ you frowned seeing the stain as miguel glanced down to it, cheeks blooming hot. was he embarrassed? he wanted to roll his eyes and tell you it was fine but you just had to wipe it with your own handkerchief before he could say anything.

“glad you’re wearing black. mustard stains are pretty fucking hard to wash out. learned it from personal experience with a white tee.” you babbled, smiling at it as miguel silently lets you wipe it off, admiring how serious you are to getting the mustard off, that look of determination.

“and there! done!” you smiled again, setting his heart racing, he was quiet for a moment until you just started talking again, embarrassed this time. “sorry if—“

“no, it’s fine. thanks.” he cuts you off, a smug smile tugging on his lips as you shied away from his gaze. the spider-woman shy before him? unbelievable, it was cute to think that without your mask you’d be this cute thing. he gulps as you nodded, he was expecting you to leave but you just started something about you rarely bumping into people these days awkwardly. miguel listens of course, actually only a little as he was too focused on staring at every feature of your face, dumbly nodding along silently until you introduced yourself with your star smile.

“i’m y/n by the way.” you shyly offer your hand for a simple handshake as he accepts it, saying his own in greeting.

“miguel.”

“nice to meet you, miguel.”

it was bliss that he had met you before. though he remained distant, putting this silent wall between the two of you as he knows that quiet thump in his heart is threatening him somehow. but who wouldn’t like you? you’re beautiful and you have that kind laughter he’d like to hear every time he would visit or the fact that he’d soften when you smile at him, making him feel content. sure, he was presenting himself as dodgy and mysterious knowing you would ask him about certain things of his personal life as you two got to know each other more and he’d discretely dodge some. it was a frequent thing for the two of you to only meet by times square, sort of a unknown thought between the both of you for it to be deemed a meet-up place. he enjoyed every single time you’d greet him, though he remained closed-off a bit, trying not to get too attached yet sometimes he’d wished for more with you as the longer you two spend time with each other. but he knew better than to pursue what his mind was telling him again and again.

was it dangerous? yes. did he care? maybe so. but that wouldn’t stop him from always picking your dimension every time he’d ‘test’ the watch again.

and now he wishes you didn’t bump into him that day as he chases miles up the speed train heading to the moon.

“you’re a mistake!” miguel yells as he slams miles on the train, the poor boy yelped at his rough handling as miguel pinned him down. the sudden wave of sadness taking over as he remembers you. your smile, your awkward jokes, your laughter, your eyes… everything.

“if you hadn’t been bit, your spider-woman would’ve lived!” he shouts, anger rushing through his veins, his brows furrowed as miles struggled in his grasp. the teenage boy’s face flashed a wave of sadness remembering you. miguel can feel the tears threatening to well in his eyes yet only anger and frustration were present as he blamed everything on miles now.

“instead she died, saving you.” his tone faltered a bit despite the harshness he puts on. his heart clenched, memories flooding in, grief striking his heart again. the hollowness had been there since you died and hollowed further when his daughter had as well, crumpling his once self. the mere time you two had together was cut short and he blamed it on miles dumbly. his own emotions blinding him to put the blame on the poor boy who’s just trying to save his dad now.

“she would’ve stopped the collider before it would have ever been off. spot wouldn’t exist and none of this wouldn’t have happened.” he punctuates every single word, holding himself back as miles tried to wiggle out of his grasp again, only for him to slam him down again for the boy to listen to him. he ignores the yells from peter and gwen pleading for him to let miles go yet he pesters further, determined to let it all out.

“and she—“ he tries to find the words for you, remembering every single detail and every conversation you had with him. his mind flashing memories of that glint in your eyes when you passionately tell him about something you liked and how you would get this look of awe when he says or asks something about it. how kind and caring you are to him even though you barely knew each other before. remembering the time when he observed from afar as you swung around the neighborhood, bringing smiles on every person’s face, bringing it to him as well. and he regretted so much for not ever telling you about how you made him smile. miles’ eyes widened seeing this new look of vulnerability on miguel’s face as he stops struggling for a moment in surprise. miguel blinks, shaking his head as all came weighing down. you, his daughter, everyone, the multiverse as his own voice cracks despite the searing anger laced within it.

“she was everything.“

｡･:*˚:✧｡

😭😭😭

[1-800-hwahui]

always with you

member — husband!mingyu x fem!reader genre — smut. really really fluffy smut word count — 1.5k warnings — reader has a vagina and breasts, reader uses she/her pronouns, unprotected sex, fingering, creampie, reader is implied shorter than gyu, dom!mingyu, sub!reader notes — lowercase intended. welp. you ask for cavities i give you cavities. this is more sweet than the creamiest vanilla ice cream but i hope you like :) (and yes that was a pun). this is really soft sweet emotional sex i'm sorry to all the ppl who followed for filthy content sdfjgshjk - 💒

requested by @onlymingyus on my sfw blog (@junkissed) and posted here

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“sweetheart? do you need something?”

you come home from work after yet another exhausting day. on top of your asshole coworkers doing their regularly scheduled asshole tasks, you’ve been under the weather from the cold you caught from the guy working next to you. and then he got to take the day off and you didn’t.

you throw your bag on the couch in a huff as mingyu comes padding into the room, his whole face lighting up the moment he sees you, just like he does every single day with you.

he’s sweet, and you know he cares about you more than anything in the world. but sometimes you just need a hug. and sometimes you need another way to release the tension.

tonight is not one of the nights you need a hug.

and when mingyu pulls you in for a hug and you let out a shaky moan when he starts rubbing your back, he knows exactly what you need from him, and he’s more than willing to offer it.

“does my darling want me to take care of her?” he murmurs, gazing down at you with a smile and so much love in his eyes you can practically see hearts floating around his head. “hmm? my sweet angel needs me to help her relax tonight?”

“please,” you breathe, leaning up to press your lips to his. he giggles softly into the kiss, wrapping his arm around you tighter and pulling you closer for better access.

his hand snakes down in the space between your bodies, carefully beginning to undo the button of your jeans.

“wait.” you grab his hand, stopping him. he brings his eyes up to meet yours, waiting, wordlessly asking what you need before he has permission to continue.

“not here,” you whisper shyly. “can we… in bed?”

the ache between your legs is growing steadily the more time you spend in mingyu’s arms, but you don’t have the energy to start something in the middle of the front doorway when, knowing mingyu, it’ll be a while before it’s finished.

he tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear, brushing your cheek with his thumb. “of course, darling. anything you want.”

you smile as he grabs your hand and leads you down the hall, somehow both gently and roughly tossing you on the bed. he doesn’t bother turning on the light, letting the darkness surround you like a thick, comforting blanket that makes you feel like a teenager again, hiding under the covers in his tiny twin bed the first time you spent the night in your boyfriend’s dorm; the thrill, the exhilaration of being each others’ firsts for everything.

and now years later, with rings on your fingers to prove you’ll never love anyone the way you love each other, the excitement hasn’t gone away. you don’t think it ever will.

he kneels at the edge of the bed, gazing up at you as his fingers deliberately slide your jeans down your legs. you lift your hips off the bed to help him, pulling your shirt over your head so you lie completely exposed beneath him.

you sit up, humming as your fingers play with the hem of his shirt, pleading eyes looking up at him until he finally cracks. he expertly pulls his shirt over his head, like he’s done it a million times before (he has), revealing an expanse of his defined chest and toned muscle.

you reach out and press your hand against his chest, feeling the warmth beneath your fingertips and the steady drum of his heartbeat.

he leans over you, delicately laying your back against the bed as he slips out of his pants, smiling, his eyes never once leaving yours.

the tip of his finger begins to trace up and down your folds slowly, barely putting pressure but still enough so he’s not teasing. on any other night he loves to tease you, spend hours laying between your legs, toying with you until you can’t do anything other than cry out his name and moan so beautifully the way you do.

you sigh, letting your eyes fall shut as his other hand travels up your hip, squeezing gently before moving up to cup your chin as he presses a long, deep kiss to your lips. you exhale through your nose, letting your tongue prod gently into his mouth. but he’s taking too long, and you rock your hips up against his hand, just enough to let him know you need more without having to say it out loud.

he grins against your mouth and slides a finger into you, curling the tip against your walls. a high-pitched moan escapes you, gasping out his name at his touch that’s brought you pleasure in so many different ways over the years.

and as he begins to scissor his fingers up and down, moving perfectly inside of you, the tension in your core begins to grow, and grow, and grow until it bursts, and with a cry you’re cumming on his fingers. you’re shaking under him as he works you through what you’ll tell him afterwards was the best orgasm of your life. which is what you tell him after every time together, but he doesn’t care. as long as you enjoy him and he gets to enjoy you, nothing else matters.

he climbs up onto the bed, lining himself up with your entrance, still spasming from the waves of pleasure washing over you. he bends down again to kiss you once more before he begins pushing into you, the warmth in your abdomen spreading as you feel inch after inch press against your sensitive walls. the sensation burns for just a second before melting into bliss, and instinctively your hands reach out for him, needing something to hold onto and finding his shoulders, his back, every part of his body within reach.

you’ll never get tired of the feeling of being full, being surrounded by him, being part of him like this. the way his hands roam your body, caressing every inch of you, making sure you know you’re his and he’s yours and you’re each other's. the way that even in the dim light, you can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s admiring every part of you like he’s seeing it for the first time. the way he always takes his time with you when you need it, or doesn’t when you don’t, somehow knowing exactly what you need him to do with you without you having to say a word.

like now, when he stays still to give you a while to adjust because he knows it’s painful for you if he starts moving right away. or when he reaches up to brush your hair out of your face because sometimes it bothers you.

you reach out to squeeze his forearm, pushing into the mattress at your waist. “mmph, gyu, baby,” you whine softly. “need you to move, baby.”

he smiles, and pulls out just enough so he can start rocking back and forth into you. he’s going slow, slower than either of you want, but you know it’s the pace the both of you need: the tender, careful love to cancel out everything that makes you feel like crap. moments like this that make everything right again, make you feel like no matter what bad things happen, you’ll always have each other.

now, as he handles you so delicately when you’re more than aware that he’s capable of much, much more, you can’t help but remember all the other times together: the awkward ones at first, the drunk ones coming home after a night out, the ones to make up for a fight neither of you meant. and now, the one to remind you that he’ll always be there for you, especially when things aren’t so great.

he starts thrusting into you faster, rougher, and when he groans out strained and whiny, that’s how you know he’s cumming. with one hand gripping your breast and the other reaching down again to roll your clit between his thick fingers, it’s not long before you’re cumming with him, thighs shaking against his legs as he pushes into you one final time.

finally you feel him spill into you, filling you up even more, claiming you like you always beg him to do when you’re in a more energetic mood.

the room is suddenly quiet; the only sound, the soft, panting breaths you both take.

his head hangs, resting against your chest as you each take a moment to recover. after a second he starts to pull out, but your hands automatically grab onto his broad shoulders and pull him back down, letting out soft murmurs, pleading with him to stay just a little longer.

“just… just one more minute,” you whisper, and he nods, dropping down onto his elbows to encase you in his arms.

sometimes you just need a hug. sometimes you need more.

taglist | @shuatm @yeosayang @noniestars @enhacolor @kimy3na

[yuri-is-online]

Hey, remember the soulmate au by tiyoin(?) I recently read your post abt idia and Leona reacting to yuu being their mates, but I wanna take it a step further since I saw idias line abt the family curse (this has yandere implications so if it's not your cup of tea please feel free to just ignore, nothing is outright mentioned tho)

What if yuu has a family curse similar to the aishi family in yandere simulator? (It's been years since I touched the game so if the lore changed I'm basing it off of 2018 ish lore, just with my own twist) basically yes, yuu CAN feel emotions, they're just muted and barely there. Given the right conditions (like falling in love or spending time with friends) and/or antidepressants they'll basically be like any other person, without them it's like a less severe version of the aishi women pre-falling in love

So, afab ppl born in yuus family, once falling in love, start losing their sanities and adopt yandere like behavior (stalking, increasing rage and jealousy, willingness to murder, etc) unfortunately this means they usually die young (20s or 30s) how quickly/young they die is based on their willpower (resisting the urges) and when/if they fall in love (so someone falling in love for the first time in their 40s and having insane willpower, caving in 20 years later in their 60s has more luck than a 16 year old falling in love and caving in almost immediately). Unfortunately everyone is a carrier, men carry the gene and can pass it to their daughters, but it only presents in the women/afab ppl, so transfems won't be affected but transmascs will.

What if yuu fell in love already (in their own world) and has just been doing a really REALLY good job at Resisting The Urges™️. Like, sometimes they slip up and cave in to anger or get ridiculously jealous, but they try their hardest to tamp down the feelings. Yuu has sworn off falling in love (again) and has given up their dream of having a big family bc of the curse, they're even distancing themselves from their object of affection in an attempt to "be normal again" at the cost of their own sanity.

So yuu gets transported to twst, and without their darling, they have the chance to be normal again, assuming they can get past the initial panic frenzy. Then the soul bond is revealed and they just go "nope. Not this shit again" and spouts cryptic messages about a family curse and swearing off love. I'm pretty sure most of the boys would feel a bit hurt by that lmao

This is mostly made for idia since his segment is what sparked the idea in the first place, but which characters from most to least likely do you think would try to pursue mc and figure out the truth to leave them alone and try to move on? I personally can't see someone like kalim giving up on both but I think the octatrio would try to look for the truth but be 50/50 on pursuing yuu or dropping them like a hot potato. Idia I think would try to relate to yuu and try to pursue them, but I think he'd probably be a bit put off once yuu starts dropping hints about the curse (he's a weeb so it won't take long for him and maybe Ortho to put 2+2 together and figure out the curse)

tiyon's soulmate au can be found here, their first post inspired some asks, which led to my own soulbound au the rules of which can be found here. Please support tiyon and interact with their soulmate au! They're a very creative blog and deserve the attention~ give them some reblogs!

so. uh. I got this ask when I first woke up and 1) very happy to hear from you Rose, always lovely to get a new ask and 2) yandere? sim? has lore? I did not think people actually played the game? help. i've fallen and misplaced my life alert. As a rule I don't really write for a Yuu who is just x character from y game/anime (it is in my rules) so while I was at work realizing I might be old I was trying to think of a way to do this that wasn't just yan sim (I wanted something properly gn) and I think I've got something? I am currently beating away the desire to info dump on you about the myth of Sigurd and Brunhilde (i could scream about that for hours oh god oh please i have written an actual au for that but efkjbekjrgbjrthnytrh) So here is the basic idea:

Yuu ran afoul of a witch in their world and was appropriately cursed. Given the myth I was inspired by I don't think Yuu did anything bad, but they still made the witch mad so they got cursed to lose all reason should they ever fall in love.

"You will be thine own destruction!" Cackles the witch and Yuu, who is actually normal unlike trey this person takes a deep breath and resigns themselves to researching a way to minimize the effects and maybe break it? They don't know they thought magic was fake until they thought they were just doing a favor for someone but turns out they pissed off Baba fucking Yaga.

They start to isolate themselves since they notice the curse starting to eat at them when they are around anyone the love; they consider going back to the witch and asking for further clarification but they can't seem to find them anywhere so they take some deep breaths and do their best to just be normal.

When they end up in Twisted Wonderland, and start feeling... weird. And it only gets worse when Crowley speculates that they might have been brought to Twisted Wonderland because they posses a soulbond.

And Yuu immediately freaks out because they don't want to kill anyone.

Now as for your question for who would try to pursue Yuu vs just leave them... well I don't really like writing un reciprocated feelings so I hesitate to say any of the cast would drop Yuu. In my au it isn't possible for soulbonds to not be reciprocated, and they are already sort of seen as a curse by mages so this... complication might not be normal but it isn't unexpected if that makes sense. Which would probably make Yuu swearing off love hurt even worse.

Kalim wouldn't want to abandon Yuu. Not ever, no matter how much of a danger they could be to him. Hell, he's willing to forgive people who are trying to poison him on the off chance they might regret it. But he is the heir of House Al-Asim, and I could see his dad paying someone to take Yuu out to keep his son safe. Something Jamil sees coming from a mile away and has to just keep quiet about. Something I can see Jamil feeling bad about, he might not like Kalim but you didn't ask for anything that happened to you. And yet the Asim's took your life from you anyway.

Have to disagree about the octatrio just a bit. Floyd would be into this. And so would Jade. But especially Floyd, oh hee hee ha ha his soul mate wants to kill him? Say less he is on his way to get his ass eat beat with an engagement ring in hand. Both he and Jade would be a little disappointed when the curse is broken and you aren't actively trying to kill him anymore... maybe you could try and poison him huh? Like old times?

I wrote 20 paper pages of soulbond au stuff for Azul so I will try to be brief here but... I don't think this situation would be one that made him try to break the bond. He has... complicated feelings about soulbonds already. If anything I could see him thinking he deserves this.

Now Idia. He's complicated. Pre-overblot he has given up on the concept of breaking his own curse, and I could see him feeling the same way about yours. Ortho on the other hand... even before he gets his soul he wants to help. After the overblot I can see Idia pursuing Yuu determined to find the truth and save them. Not that he wouldn't interact with them before that, he's a bit nihilistic so I can see him just making a bunch of jokes about the situation or promising to let Yuu kill him "after this next round." Or just straight up asking them to when he has to hit pity in one of his gachas. It's just cringe enough that it snaps Yuu out of the curse fog for long enough for the two of them to be normal around each other. And by normal I mean incredibly awkward

Anyway that's all I've got. Thank you for the ask ♡