#of course i'll start streaming a bit Before so that i can give people a chance to join on time

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I remember you stating that you were gonna try and stream for when the website updates! We're you gonna stream as soon as it does or are you gonna set a time for it?? I wanna be able to try and join!

it'll be a When It Drops kinda thing! i'm not patient enough to wait!

[smuthospital]

⭐️Yandere Kylar x Reader⭐️

Premise: You're a streamer, and your biggest fan really really likes you

Warning: Non-con, kidnapping, gn reader

Minors DNI

Bright lights flash in your eyes, your fingers rapidly bashing buttons on your keyboard, your other hand furiously clicking your mouse. You whine as your character suddenly falls to the ground, dead.

"Ok, guys! Ok, I get it! I know I'm not that good at this game! No need to tease me!" You laugh. Inside, you're a bit peeved. These stinky bastards aren't here for your gameplay so they better shut up. Shut up and enjoy their eye candy. You're currently streaming an online first-person shooter. You made your little hobby into a little side hustle not too long ago. Guys love watching hot people play games and it's proven to be profitable. "I'm cute? Well thank you, Mr. Husband!" This guy is a regular. Gotta give him those shout-outs he practically pays for.

As much as it hurts to deal with these weirdos, It helps with expenses. You've even seen Robins username pop in and out quickly, probably hoping you didn't see. At first, you were uncomfortable with acting all sweet for your audience, but you warmed up to the idea when it started staving off your bastard Landlord at the orphanage you live in, Bailey. You play games dressed sexy, say sweet dumb things and the money comes pouring in.

These poor, lonely guys send you money in hopes you'll give them a crumb of attention, and you do. Sometimes, you say their names. You don't exactly care that you're taking their money at all. It's a gift! It's not like you forced them to give you money, nor did you even ask. They just want a chance to get in your pants and you're not gonna stop them from dreaming. You can't count the number of times people in the chat have asked if you have an onlyfans.

You'd never, of course, date one of these pigs. You imagine your viewers are stinky, slimy, greasy and would cum in their pants at just seeing you in person. Their whole body is probably sticky to the touch and shower maybe once a month they probably have piss filled mountain dew bottles on the floor next to their pc and shit stains on their seat. You're pretty sure a few guys in the comments are jerking off as you stream this very second.

A few times, you've received ominous messages in the comments from different users, almost threatening you for some ridiculous problem they have with you. How you play, what you're wearing, or just your face, so you make sure to always hide your location and are very vague about your personal life. You're used to them being weird, saying things about what they'd do to you if they were alone with yo- Just have to learn to ignore it. You calm yourself down.

"Well, that's enough for today, I'm getting sleepy! It was nice playing with you today. I'll see you tomorrow, goodnight, love you!" You blow a kiss at the camera. You see people commenting their 'i love you too's and whining about how you could stay a bit longer' in the chat before you disconnect. You made $540 from that two-hour stream. You received most of it from the same person. Mr.Husband. Not one minute after closing the stream, you get a message. You thought you disabled direct messages? You notice that it's to your personal account that's open on another tab from an unnamed account. No bio, no profile picture.

New user: Hey

New user: Do you want to meet up sometime? For coffee?

You: Who's this?

New user: I'm Kylar. You can get to know me when we get coffee.

You: Uh no? How the fuck do you know me?

New user: I love your streams, pretty. Drop the fucking attitude before you piss me off. I knew you'd be more of a bitch off-camera. You just look too good to be good hearted. You have to be taught obedience. You're lucky I care about you so much.

You: Keep your tiny prick away from me. I never want to see you in my presence. Disgusting. Ugly pig. Do me a favor and never ever leave your dirty cave. Go fuck yourself

New user: Wanna watch?

*New user has now been blocked*

You stand up and walk away from your computer. how the fuck did he find your actual account? You don't even have your real name anywhere. You start to undress, not noticing your computer's camera has flicked on again.

In a dark room, a man fists his massive cock slowly, eyes trailing up and down his obsession through the screen. His mind is filled with all the things he wants to do to a little cock tease like you. Ruin you, break you, crush you under his weight, teach you a lesson for whoring yourself out. A cute treat like you should have better manners "Pig...tiny prick. Ah, (y/n) I can't let you just say those things to your husband." he watches as you slide your underwear down, eyes zeroing in on the crevice between your thighs as you bend over. He shudders as hot baby batter coats his chest and thighs, continuing to roll down his cock in fat globs.

Two days later, you're walking back home from a late shift at the cafe. You plan to stream when you get home.

Something is watching you.

Cold sweat dribbles down the back of your neck. You shiver, the cold night air doing nothing to calm you. You can feel eyes drilling holes into your back. You picked up your pace, your eyes darting all around. Who is it? What do they want? You think you can hear footsteps not far away. They're getting closer. You break into a sprint and make it to Danube street before you're tackled to the ground. All air is pushed from your lungs, depleting you of oxygen. You do your best to fight against your unseen attacker, but they're far too strong. You try to scream, but only a wheeze comes out. The man roughly picks you up like a sack of potatoes under his arm and carries you into a mansion nearby.

He walked down a flight of stairs and threw you to the ground. You tried to scramble away, but he grabs your ankle and drags you back to him. You get a look at his face in the dim light. He's handsome, but his expression strikes fear in your heart. Fury is the only word you can think of to describe it. You scream and flail your limbs wildly, trying to get him the fuck off of you. You hear a crack and before you realize what happened, your cheek is burning. "Shut." Smack "The." Smack "Fuck." Smack "Up." He's seething by the end. Your head was knocked back into the ground by the last hit. A dribble of blood runs down your nose, your cheeks completely red and moderately swollen. You're no longer trying to fight him, head far too foggy to do anything but lay there in pain.

"I'm sorry, baby." He huffs, calming down a bit. "Don't fight me and that won't have to happen again." He wiped at the blood on your face with his thumb, cradling your cheek. A blush creeps over his face along with a deranged smile as he stares down at you with his unblinking eyes. "You're just so perfect. Everything." You feel a bulge forming atop you where he's straddled. He pants heavily as he looks you up and down. Hot tears slip down your swollen cheeks at the realization that you can't get yourself out of this one.

You lie completely still as he palms his crotch in front of you. "I...I'm kylar...you said I have a small prick, (Y/n)... That wasn't very nice. You should say things like that to your husband." You stare at him in awe...it's..the guy from the chat. did he find you? He's crazy. He's insane. He's gonna kill you. Your chest heaves up and down uncontrollably. You feel blood rushing to your ears, feeling the most fear you've ever felt in your entire life. He takes notice of your panic attack and tries to calm you. "H-hey! Shhh, it's ok, just breathe!" You don't hear a word he's saying and thrash wildly again. Your legs kick underneath him, but his body doesn't budge an inch.

You freeze when you feel his lips smash onto yours. He grabs your wrists in one hand above your head, effectively immobilizing you. It feels like he's trying to eat you, no longer caring about your little tantrum. "Just stay still." He mutters as his large hands roam up and down your body like he's waited his life for this moment. You feel his ever growing bulge rub against your stomach. He grabs your hands before you could try to fight him again.

"...You know...I've been giving you my good money, (Y/n). All because I knew how hard it was to live on your own. But now you're here with me. You'll be my personal house whore." You feel his breath hit your cheek. "Please...let me go. I didn't do anything to you!" You're full on sobbing at this point and to your horror, you feel his cock twitch against you.

"Oh fuck! Keep crying for me like that, baby." He's clawing your pants. Your eyes dart around the room for anything that can help you, but your blood runs cold when you just see hundreds of photos of you plastered all over his walls, some even on his ceiling. You hear a loud tear. This animal ripped your pants and underwear in the process of ridding them from your body.

You're a shaking mess as he cups your sex in his hand. "K-Kylar, please!" You cry, trying to appeal to his humanity. He groans, a little wet spot of pre cum appears on his crotch. "Say my name again." He demanded. His fingers rim around your hole, threatening to dive in. You quiver at the feeling. He unzipped his pants and you feel something impossibly large, heavy and hot slam onto your stomach with a thud.

He releases you momentarily and moves himself lower on your body, his head between your legs. His arms circle around your thighs in a vice grip. He takes a strong whiff and lets out a moan. You feel his tongue slide up and down your sex as his fingers plat around with your hole before dipping half a finger in. You're too dry, it hurts! You whine and struggle, uncomfortable. His finger dips all the way in, uncaring for your pleasure. You scream as he continues to thrust his finger inside you as his mouth engulfs your sex. He removes his finger and lifts himself off you. You sigh in relief.

That relief dies as you feel his meaty cock push at your hole. He begins to push in, but your hole resists. It's too big. He lets out a sound of annoyance before spitting on his hand and rubbing the liquid up and down his cock. It does little to help aid in his entrance. "This may hurt a bit…a lot actually." He wicked grin stretches across his face before he rears his hips back and forces his cock through. You let out a blood curdling scream he rips through your insides. He's only halfway in, your walls desperately trying to push him back out. He holds onto your waist and pulls you into him, bottoming out. You feel like you're bleeding, but you're too afraid to look down.

You can hardly breathe. His cock feels like it's in your stomach. Your body twitches, hot tears slipping past the corners of your eyes as you wheeze out please for mercy. He only looks down at you in awe at your beauty. "Oh, you're so cute like this! I knew you could take it! I know it hurts now, but just give it time." His thumb rubs at your tears. There's nothing you can do to get out of this. You feel completely helpless.He pulls himself out, and slowly goes back in, groaning. "Fuck, you're so tight" he grunts. You close your eyes and hear a flash. Your eyes snap open to see he's holding a camera. A blinding light fills your vision along with a 'click'. This sick fuck.

You let out an involuntary moan when he shoves himself into you at just the right angle. He presses himself deep inside you, holding himself there, his cock hugging your sweet spot. "Ah (Y/n)! (Y/n)! (Y/n)!" He chants your name like a mantra at each thrust, but you can barely hear him. All you can do is feel him. Hurt hurts so bad but feels equally as good.

You can't help but let little sounds of pain and pleasure spill from your lips as his hips ram into yours. You look up to see his eyes are completely rolled back. His lips press wet kisses to your cheek. You feel a knot start to build in your lower stomach without your consent and you feel yourself lift onto cloud nine. "Oh (Y/n), cum for me! Cum for your husband!" He moans. You feel shame and pleasure wash over you as you do just that. You clench around him, his breath hitches in his throat at the feeling. He slams into you harder and harder. The over stimulation is killing you now. It's too much!

You think he might break something inside you, you think his dick might knock your brain out of your skull with how hard he's pounding. You feel like your organs will never be the same. "Gonna get you pregnant, gonna breed you again and again. Gonna have my babies. We'll be great parents!" His muttering awakens what's left of the fight in you. "Ah! N-no, stop! I-I can't!" His hand slams over your mouth, his bottomless green eyes staring directly into yours. He lifts your legs up and puts them over his shoulders in a tight mating press.

He hits your special spot and your eyes roll back. He can reach far deeper like this. He slams into you with one final thrust, pressing into you with his full weight. You can't breathe. The over stimulation finally comes for you and you cum all over his cock again. You feel his cock twitch before unloading what seems to be an endless supply of semen into you. You can almost hear the wet sound of him cumming inside you. Your lower stomach rises by the sheer volume of cum produced. You wonder if he used to be a bull at Remy's farm or something. That thought quickly vanishes along with your whole mind as your brain is unable to produce anymore thoughts.

With a satisfied sigh, he pulls his slipping wet cock out of you, a rush of lightly pink cum following after, quickly stopping when he plugs you up with a small plug. His cock isn't even fully soft. You pray he doesn't decide he wants a round two. "That wasn't so bad, now was it? You were crying for nothing." He pants. He kisses your temple before picking you up by your waist, once again like a sack of potatoes in one arm. He walks over to a mattress on the floor and drops you on it, your body softly bouncing on top before settling in a heap. He had a mattress the whole time and still fucked you on the cold, dirty cement floor!? You hear a click and see he's chained your right angle to the wall. He smiles at you and pevks you on the lips the way a husband would before leaving to work. His mood did a 180. He's so very cheerful, his handsome face cheerfully grinning down at you like you're a cute little kitten.

"You did really well today, (Y/n), my love. I'll be back tomorrow. You won't get dinner tonight because you fought me so much, but you'll learn to behave. I want to treat you better, so please be good for me. Goodnight." With that, your new 'husband' stands up to his full height and walks upstairs, leaving you in the cold pitch darkness of the basement.

[megumisgirl]

megumi boyfriend headcanons!

— when you guys first started dating, he was no where near the touchy-feely boyfriend. all you got were hugs, kisses on the forehead and sometimes, if you were lucky long deep passionate kisses that came out of nowhere. all in private of course, megumi likes to keep things that is between you guys between you guys, he doesn't tell gojo, yuuji, nobara, anyone.

— when you guys had your first fight, he was super furstrated. screamed a bit and let his hidden anger issues show (you can thank toji for that). in the spur of the moment, out of furstration and pent up sexual-anger he ran his hands through his hair, making you flinch. he immidietly stopped talking and just left the room. the topic you guys were fighting about wasn't cleared up, you both were obviously angry, and now with this, you both were going to have a conversation that none of you wanted.

— the next few days of the fight, megumi would try to talk to you but you would give him the silent treatment. it was a no-win situation, if you tell him you flinched for nothing, he'd feel horrible to even make you think that he was capable of hitting you. if you told him the real reason, a dark looming thought in your mind told you that maybe he wouldn't accept you for who you are. maybe he would leave you. people started to notice that you and megumi weren't together as much.

"meeeegumiiii" gojo cooed, making megumi roll his eyes, "did you and y/n have a fight? you can tell me. im basically your second father. not that im gay. i mean i could be, but like the sex-" "no." megumi stopped gojo, putting his hand in front of him, "we're not in a fight. and its a disagreement. we'll be fine." he'd already said too much for someone who says nothing. but he had too much in his mind, so the words just spilled out.

— after the intial conversation, at first, megumi didn't know how to comprehend what you just said to him. he never had to comfort someone and he was never comforted either, so he based himself on your position and did everything right. my man. he was sweet, gentle, and never judged you.

— megumi got comfortable with affection about seven-nine months into the relationship only because you were so touchy, other wise would've taken four years or smth. and his level of affection is holding-hands in public, and holding your hands above your head in private, if you catch my meaning...

— when he met your parents, he was PROPERRR. mans was dressed in a fucking suit, styled his hair right instead of the spikey usual hair, and showed the barest amount of physical affection to assure your parents their daughter is in the right hands.

— but when you met his, it was CHAOS lmaooo. toji was showing you all the embarassing baby pictures of megumi on purpose to embarass him. his step-wise called him embarassing nicknames like bubbles or pineapples or something and you couldnt believe why megumi was the way he was when they were like this.

truth be told, megumi was made for you (and me).

NSFW cannons.

— i said this once and i'll say it again. MEGUMI IS A ROUGH DOM!!! man-handles you every chance he gets, whether it's spreading your legs apart so roughly that there are bruises on his hands on your thighs, or flipping you over to pound you from behind. he will do it all.

— favourite position, anything where he can see you. missionary, to some extent matting press? he loves to see you squeeze your eyes, arch your bag and whine inconsistent pleas. he loves to see the full of personality character that he's so into just dissappear as he pounds into you mercilessly. the perfect smart girl becoming a bimbo that he loves to use and fuck.

— has a thing for eye-contact. BEFORE U THROW TOMATOS AT ME... LISTEN OKAY..1!!1!! when you're giving head, he grips your jaw so he can see your eyes as he fucks your mouth, tears streaming down your face, getting mixed with the tastes of his arousal. when its you recieving, he is adamant about eye-contact.

he has been inbetween your leg for hours, absolutely devouring you while making you watch. your eyes are sore, your legs are sore, everything is sore. you cant move an inch without feeling sensitive and your entire body just shakes as he laughs at you, looking at you with his blue eyes. "look at me." he said, the vibrations from his throat hitting your soaked cunt as you whimpered, opening your eyes just enough for new tears to leave your face. making a thin smirk place on his lips. his tounge circled your bud, making you shut your eyes again. "eye-contact, or this stops."

— dirty talker. and not just any dirty talker, the sweet praise ones. "my little slut," "taking me so well, baby. you're such a whore, but.. you're my whore," FHBYIEDWUSOKPX

— ending on a positive note, he's good at aftercare, too. after an intense session, he will draw you a bath and just sit on the edge of the tub, drawing mindless circles on your arm as you rest in the warm bath. ocasionally stealing kisses from you as he watched you take a bath. he's just... perfect.

[toskarin]

hey rin, a friend of mine enjoys composing music digitally and has a lot of respect for you as someone with more experience with that sort of thing. he has a hard time convincing the people around him to listen to the things he makes, in both the "finding an audience" way and "getting the people around him to give him their opinion on something he's working on way," and he wanted me to ask you if you could speak on your own experiences with those problems and how you've dealt with them. less related, he was also curious about your inspirations for the music that you make. i know this is a lot to cover, so if it would be easier for you to speak with him directly then please let me know

so I'll open by saying that, as far as people who can give good advice on this go, I'm probably not one of those. a lot of what I do only works because of some specific problems with my brain that are oddly adaptive to this sort of thing

that being said, this is a bit of the "tough love" kind of advice for surviving as an artist, so I'll make a second reblog for the second half of the question

this is either advice that will work or a ramble that will lead your friend to making his life unbearable, so look before you leap

-

The Easy Section, or "You've Gotta Be a Bit of a Tradie"

let's go over the business stuff quickly before I start rambling at length about the boring stuff

learn to love the work itself. "find a job you enjoy and you'll never work a day in your life" is garbage, but creative work really is the one area where you should double down on this. kick back and bump your own album on release day, thinking about how every second of it is something that didn't exist before you put it together. this is what's gonna keep you above water when the wind is dead

get on bandcamp. there is nowhere better for small musicians right now. bandcamp is basically the last remaining website with an effective suggestion algorithm that caters to people who want to actively engage with music and buy it

consider getting on instagram. in the majority of places you're likely to live if you're reading this, the local music scene is on instagram. probably don't use your personal instagram for this

consider getting on soundcloud. you won't make sales through soundcloud, because it's a streaming-focused site (more on that in a moment) with a focus on passive listening, but it's pretty decent for networking, especially with digital music production. soundcloud is linkedin for deadbeats

stay off spotify. streaming generally isn't worth the trouble these days unless you're playing concerts or are otherwise already established. if you aren't uttering the words "you can find me on..." more than once a month, it's probably not worth pursuing a spotify presence to end that sentence with

self-promote. if you have platforms, use them. find the subreddit for your genre and post yourself on the self-promo day. consider posting some bandcamp album codes when you do this, not just so you can get word of mouth, but because someone having an album in their collection means you effectively have a permanent zero-cost advertisement for your music which will only show itself to people who are verifiably looking at something similar. companies pay dizzying sums for ads that couldn't dream of being this targetted. this is a big reason why bandcamp is THE place to be for small musicians

cross-promote and collab. work with your friends. if you don't have musician friends, go make some and then help each other out. "independent" music is a misnomer

blind yourself to the metrics. do not look at engagement metrics. pay them no mind at all. don't look at them unless you're trying to see how effective a specific, deliberate course of action was and already know what you want to find

remember that strangers are unknowable. people do things for arbitrary reasons. if you don't have someone giving you written feedback, don't make any assumptions at all about why they did something. skipped tracks and minimum-price pwyws mean nothing at all

present your stuff in a way that gives it context. why should someone care about your stuff? give them a reason. carve out an hour to really work on a nice album cover, go the extra mile and include track-by-track narrative with your dungeon synth album, or just describe what you're expecting people to buy. I firmly believe that NOMAD/VIRTUE was successful in large part because of its presentation

gimmick. gimmick gimmick gimmick. discount codes are more fun than automatic discounts, free album codes are more fun than free albums, contests are more fun than giveaways, so on so forth. lacking any physical goodies to bundle in, you should still endeavour to give people Something To Do that makes them feel like they're really engaging with your music

zero expectations, zero overhead. do not rely on the whims of complete strangers to justify whether or not you end up in the red. if you ever find yourself saying something like "I can afford to pay for a session musician because I'll just make it back" you can't afford to pay for a session musician. you're probably never getting bailed out if you eat a loss, so try not to put yourself in a situation where you can eat a loss to begin with

someone else's expectations, someone else's overhead. if someone else is paying you to make this music for a soundtrack or something, if (and ONLY if) you have the money in your hand and know you have it, you're no longer gambling. at this point, you can start to look at expenses as investment

now onto the less fun stuff. here's where I ramble for like an hour at you.

-

if there's one thing I've really had hammered in over my decade-odd as a somewhat commercial artist (in all the disciplines I've worked with, which is most of them), it's that you have to be a bit of a bitch about it sometimes

that nagging fear in the back of your head that you're annoying? it's stopping you from doing what you need to do: annoy people

with that being said, this next section is kind of...

The Rough Section, or "You've Gotta Be a Little Hard-headed"

at the end of the day, you'll often find that you are your only advocate, and that means you kinda have to get your foot slammed in a few doors if that means holding them open. this also unfortunately means that you've gotta convince yourself you're pretty good. you don't have to think you're great, but confidence is a trade skill

the last opinion people see before the first time consciously engaging with your work (which here means "the thing that primes them for how they feel about it") is yours

which brings us to the first uncomfy rule

absolutely no cutting yourself down before anyone else even gets a swing

you can be modest if you want (you don't have to), but you absolutely cannot prime people to see the flaws in your work. if 50% of people are discerning enough to notice a flaw, why make that number 100%? what do you gain from that?

if something isn't as finished as you'd have liked it to be, but you've pushed it out the door anyway (which you will sometimes have to do), you absolutely cannot prime people to consider it unfinished

if the thing is still being worked on, there's nothing wrong with being forthcoming about that, but the fastest way to make someone think of something as "inferior product" when they otherwise would never have reached that conclusion is by telling them it is

and that, of course, leads us into a bit of an inversion of the previous rule

absolutely do not take the majority of your validation from strangers

doing this is bad for a million reasons, but I see the worst of this in visual arts, where artists double down on what gets them the most engagements and lay themselves at the mercy of complete strangers who have no actual investment in them

of course, it's normal to desire validation and approval from people you respect, but if you put yourself in a position where it's possible to enter a negative feedback loop that crystallises into you no longer making art from the default response of neutral apathy from strangers, it's not a matter of when: it's going to happen to you one day

so what's the move here? spend 8 years making music you don't release like you're in a compressed time chamber? probably not. I did it that way, but I didn't get much out of it, so you probably won't either

the actual answer is that you've gotta network. you need an inner circle. you need people with shared interests so that you can gas each other's stuff up

just like everyone else, you need your friends

you need to have friends who care about you, about what you're doing, and you need to care about them and what they're doing

this is because, while self-confidence is important...

the majority of your external validation as an artist should come from your friends and peers, not strangers

it's important to have artist friends, because then you can encourage each other in ways that are personally meaningful, but having your friends behind you, whether or not they're musicians, is so incredibly important

if you're motivated exclusively by success, however you're choosing to measure that, what you're actually doing is forming a nightmarish parasocial relationship with the concept of a crowd. not even a real crowd! a fictional group that materialises when you've created "the conditions for success"

there is no such thing as a truly independent artist. if your understanding of artistic success requires competition against others, you're going to lose that competition and then explode (unfortunately common)

finding your audience as an artist (and mind you, art is a social field) is very much a process of networking, but it feels gross to say it that way, so I'll just leave that at "if you want to be known by others, you need to be willing to know others"

anyway, this doesn't really terminate in a complete sentiment. I was just transcribing a train of though

if I were to boil this down to a shorter, snappier answer that I could read comfortably read out, it'd be...

TL;DR

the process of finding an audience is so much less about actually finding one than it is about learning to create happily whether or not you have an audience. developing an audience is the largely incidental byproduct of long-term creative efforts coupled with self-advocacy and interpersonal networking

if you want to be found by a scene, you have to participate in a scene, and if you want to participate in a scene, you need to be in the scene. so on so forth

as stupid as it might sound when I put it into words, the truth is that you can't build any kind of audience in isolation. someone has to find you somehow, and it's a lot easier to be found if you're actually somewhere that people might look

[kittysarchive]

camboy sunoo!

yess :) it's quick

warnings- smut, camboy, public sex?, filmed masturbation,

Turning the camera to give the viewers full view of his pretty face and pulsating cock, the numbers of viewers and money flooded Sunoo.

Softly stroking his cock, he waited until another hundred people joined his stream. With a lot of fans, he waited until nearly all of the thousand viewers were ready, ready for his cock. Sat on the bed, he smiled at the camera as he gripped his cock harder.

"Is everyone ready?" He heard the buzz of money fly through to his bank account. Smiling at how much money he made in that minute, he begins the session.

"I've been so needy lately" Talking to thin air, Sunoo knows the viewers are stroking their own cocks.... rubbing their own pussys. Fisting his cock harder and faster, Sunoo lets out his whiny moans.

"Og g-god" He cries out, fisting his cock faster. Hips rutting up, the movement causing more money to arrive. Eyes facing the camera, he pleads with his fans.

"Can I cum" Pouting, he moves the camera closer to his cock. Allowing his fans to see his pink flushed tip and full balls ready to spurt out. Moving the camera up to his face, the fans see his cute face.

The cameras angels give flood to money and comments.

ready_4u: Go ahead baby! spicy&cold: Have you been a good boy? ally-vally2: of course

Smiling at the comments, the camera moves back to his cock. Fisting it fast, stroking over his tip, pressing into the tip, the little bit of pain caused gives more money back.

High pitched whines at small hands gripping his hands, let loose to the cum that spurts out, covering his own shirt, he pants as he continues to fist his length.

Every fist giving way to another spurt of cum gives more and more money.

"F-fuck" Sunoo cries, panting hard as his hand slowly unholds his cock. Facing the camera across his body, his fans see his thick, milky liquid.

"Next week I'll bring a friend of mine..." Sunoo smiles to the camera before he turns off the live. He'd get much more views and money of he started to bring in other people...

[octoberautumnbox]

Hello fellow Yuri enthusiast I would like to throw another thought in your head. Siblings Jooe and Yuri being he slut sisters you use and abuse ;) all the spitting choking and fucking these two polar opposite sisters.

Idk I saw those bikini pictures of jooe and she kinda looked like a thick yuri and now I want them both heh.

(idk which jooe pics anon send some in thru dm or imgur or smth pls and I'll edit this to add when u do!)

~~~

Her chains clack against the bedposts; you somehow keep forgetting that these handcuffs aren't the flimsy ones she can easily break free from. Fortunately, it seems she keeps forgetting too, and it only turns her on more as bruises develop on her wrists. Tears stream down her face and her incoherent babbling as you piston deep into her fuckhole only earn her more of her rough fucking.

"Guh, fuck, please, hurts, hu- AAHHHHHH!!" A well-timed slap of her tits brings her ever so close to the edge. You watch them bounce for you as you pound her into the bed harder and harder, and Jooe's consciousness steadily starts fading away once more.

"Please, shit, I'm-" she struggles to blurt out, each thrust seemingly hitting a reset button in her head. You knew what she was trying to say, but if she was gonna be a weak-willed slut like this she didn't deserve to get what she wants.

Just then, the door creaks open and Yuri strolls in with her towel. She's halfway through drying herself off, her own swimsuit still dripping with the poolwater onto your shared room's tiled floor.

"Oppa," she sing sweetly, "can I have a go after Unnie?" She kisses you delicately on the cheek, then on the lips with just the slightest bit of teasing tongue for you. It always turned them on to watch each other take your cock, and it looks like this was no exception.

"Of course, baby. Anything you like," you reply, almost faltering. Jooe reminds you of the job you're in the middle of, as her walls squeeze deliciously around your shaft and makes her pleasures known by the growing wet spot on the bed right under her sore and abused cunt.

"Oppa, please, I wanna cum, I'm so cl-- oh fuck, oh fuck, OH FUCK!! AAAAAHHHH" She delays her orgasm and resultant scream as long as she can, luckily just enough time for Yuri to shut the door and make the room soundproof again. Once she hears the door shut, she lets everything out, and her squirt escapes her poor hole. It splashes all over her crotch, glistening on her puffy pussy lips and coating your rock-hard cock to fuck her even better. You have to give her a moment of respite, else she might actually lose her mind and her ability to hold herself back when with other people.

Pulling out, the last few drops of her girlcum land on the sheets underneath her and she watches as your cock exits. Jooe also watches, her chains clacking again, as Yuri sweetly takes over with licks and pecks on your cock, determined to clean up every single trace of her elder sister before taking you on herself.

"Mm, yummy," she muses gleefully. "Ehehe, how does Oppa want me?"

"Hands on the headboard baby," guiding her to face away from you, right over her sister still cuffed to the bed. She follows immediately, her excitement showing as the crotch of her swimsuit gets wetter than the rest. In position, she looks back at you with love, nothing but a thin piece of fabric that left nearly nothing to the imagination the only thing between you and her perfect pussy.

You pull it aside and she moans cutely at the sensation of being exposed. Rubbing a finger against her puffy lips elicits more lewd sounds, followed by two, and three, before finally teasing her with your cock.

"My good girl, do you want it hard like your Unnie?" you ask gently. Yuri isn't one for rough fucking by default, and you've learned to make sure before taking her.

"Mmm, let's start slow, Oppa," she says as she guides your hand to her boobs, showing her Unnie how well you pleasure her little sister, "we have a show to put on, after all."

~~~

a/n: just a little warmup before I work on actual fics :DDDD

[sunandflame]

Flame and Water, Chapter 5

Summary: Kyojuro finally caught you for a talk, which you have been avoiding for so long and it takes a different direction as you thought.

Ship & Trope: Kyojuro x Fem!Reader (Water Pillars Tsuguko) / Slowburn

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1939 Words

Masterlist of Flame and Water

"There is another of you?!" You immediately slapped your mouth to shut yourself up. How embarrassing and rude was that just now?

But Rengoku didn't seem to dislike it. His frown turned into a boisterous laugh. "Yes, actually, we rengokus all look pretty much the same. Same hair and same eyes. We're actually very proud of our looks, even if it can annoy some others."

Your ears started to burn. He probably meant your behaviour. He wasn't entirely wrong, but it was not that you found him ugly or anything. When you took a closer look, you were almost convinced of the opposite, you thought shyly. No, hey was just unfortunate that he activated a certain trigger in you that you had absolutely no control over. And everything about him just reminded you of flames. His haori, kyahan and even his hair was a symbol of your greatest fear. Even now, when you thought about the fire, your chest felt clammy. It was actually so dumb. "I..." Again, the right words were missing and you were becoming increasingly embarrassed, but you didn't want him to think you were being shallow. Because you definitely weren't, since who were you to judge other people's looks when you were disfigured and ugly yourself?

"Looks aren't everything! Don't sweat it, beside you can use it to your advantage to be different!" He simply bridged the silence and you were secretly very grateful for that. You looked up at his profile, where his smile seemed never to cease and it surprised you honestly. How could he be so positive about everything? You kind of wished you had his positive attitude. It was warm and optimistic. You were the opposite. Cool, silent and the glass always half empty.

This was an inner unrest that still troubled you and you needed to get up which you did. But you realized that your legs were still a bit shaky. Rengoku immediately got up to support you in case, but you quickly got the hang of it and didn't need his help.

"Are you sure you don't want to rest a little longer?" His face turned serious.

"Yes, but..." You definitely needed rest, but all the more you needed the water around you. "I just want to go to the river. The water always relaxes me."

"Then I'll accompany you!"

"Oh, uh, you don't have to. You've already done enough." You already owed him so much. How were you ever going to pay him back? And you knew it wasn't about money, it was about favors and you were really bad giving favors back.

"Yes, I don't want to leave you alone right now. You still seem unsteady on your feet. Not that you'll fall into the river and drown there."

You looked at him in silence and then nodded before slowly walking away. You had to smile inwardly at his words. Drowning would probably be the last thing that would happen because you grew up in a fishing village and have always been surrounded by a lot of water. You were a pretty good swimmer.

"My sweet little koi fish..."

Words from a long-forgotten memory. You suppressed them and moved along. As the previous information you had get from Rengoku. So, the flame man from your memory wasn't him, but his father... That made more sense, of course, because the man who just walked a few steps behind you and watched you with eagle eyes just in case you fall over so he could catch you was about your own age.

You wanted to follow the train of thoughts further, but you heard the surprised sound from Rengoku when he saw where you brought him. A beautiful stream stretched out in front of you. The water just rippled gently and it immediately gave you inner peace.

"How do you know this place? I've never been here in my life."

You glanced over at him, but just shrugged and sat down on the ground that was closest to the water. Your hand slipped into the cool water and you refreshed yourself by putting your cool, wet hand on your neck and sighing comfortably as you visibly started to relax.

Rengoku watched you and was fascinated by your changeability. For days you had been afraid of him, always on the run. Then something must have happened and an unbridled anger came out of you like a roaring tsunami only to fall back into fear and terror afterwards. And now at the sight of the water you were like a different person. You were noticeably more relaxed and seemed more content, happier, even if there wasn't a smile on your face.

Rengoku decided to sit next to you. "It's really beautiful here."

"Yes, it is."

"How do you know this place?" He repeated his question from earlier.

"I don't, this is my first time here."

"But you seemed to know exactly where to go though."

You shrugged again. "I just know where to find water." Your gaze shifted from the water to the blond man who was looking at you with a big question mark in his face. "Sorry, that must sound really weird. I grew up in a fishing village and I could always hear and feel where the water and the rivers were."

Rengoku listened to you, soaked up every single word you said. It was the first time that he had heard you talk more than one sentence and then you were also talking about your past. And your voice, it was so clear and pleasant like the water in the stream. He would have liked to ask you more about your past, but he was worried that you would close up again immediately, so he didn't ask.

"You seem very attached to the water."

"Yes, I do..." Your eyes were on the water again and only a faint of a smile creeped at the corner of your lips. It was very short, but Rengoku saw it and thought it suited you very well. Your fingertips danced in the water and he wondered why you didn't roll up your sleeves to keep your uniform from getting wet. "The water, it calms me."

"But L/N you are always calm"

No, you were actually not. There was sometimes a tsunami going on inside your head and you were every time afraid to let it out, so you had built a wall around it, but does he had to know? No. "Yes... It must seem that way."

You spoke in riddles and Rengoku cocked his head. Before he could reply, a crow suddenly flew by. She sat on your shoulder and nuzzled your cheek like a cat. It was Shimizu, your Kasugai crow. A very young female who loves to be cuddled and who has grown very fond of you, and you too loved her more than anything. She was the only creature that you allow to accompany you while going swimming. A few seconds later, Kaname, Rengokus crow, flew up and perched on his shoulder.

"Your Kasugai crow seems to like you a lot!" As usual, Rengoku's voice was booming, but you no longer flinched. It seemed like you slowly got used to it in those few hours.

"Yes, that's Shimizu, she's my best friend." A slight caw came from her before she snuggled up to you. "But it seems your crow likes you a lot too."

Rengoku had not even registered that he had raised his hand to gently stroke his crow's chest feathers. "That's Kaname" The named crow bowed slightly, bringing a smile to your lips. Immediately you bowed to pay him the same respects as well. You were positively surprised by his love for animals and you became increasingly relaxed in his presence.

You sat there for a few minutes, both in silence as you listened to the lapping of the water until you broke the silence.

"Tomioka-sama revoked me as his Tsugoku" Your eyes were still directed toward the water while your fingers danced around in them. You didn't look up, but he could hear the slightly bitter and sad tone in your voice. "That was one of the reasons I got so angry. Please forgive Rengoku-sama"

Now he understood it a little better. And he had rubbed salt in the wound with his comments. "Why did he do that? I can't imagine Tomioka doing that without a reason!" He really couldn't. The Water Hashira may have been a taciturn one and not well liked by the other Hashiras, but Rengoku always felt the good intention in him and his instincts usually never failed him.

You blushed again and stood up abruptly. Shimizu was startled by your movement and complained with a croak and flew over your head. Rengoku imitated you and wanted to follow you. "It... It's because of you..."

"Because of me?"

"Yes..."

"I'm sorry about that Y/N, but you need to elaborate a bit more." He looked at you again with his trademark smile, his eyes like an owl's.

You were silent again for a few seconds before moving again. He after you. He was really persistent, you thought to yourself and he will probably continue to follow you. You stopped again and he was close behind you. "It's..." You searched for the right words. "I was very unfocused in the last training sessions and he wasn't very happy with that."

"But what does that have to do with me?" He looked at you questioningly before realizing what you were getting at. "Oh, so you were distracted because of me?"

You felt the heat creep into your cheeks. "Tomioka-sama said I should clarify the..." You left that part empty. "...clarify it with you, until then he wouldn't train me."

"I see. I could talk to him that, but he left on a mission today and won't be there for a few days."

You looked at him in surprise. He was on a mission without you? That unexpected hurt you. Normally you always traveled together. Rengoku saw your disappointed face. "We can train together if you want! You can be my Tsuguko!" His face was beaming with a smile again.

You looked at him in surprise. That was out of the question for you at all. Yes, you were more relaxed next to him now. Fear wasn't gripping you anymore, but you had already reached your limit. "Rengoku-sama I am using water breathing and you are the Flame Pillar. Fire and Water don't go well together"

"Oh, you are right! But we still can train together! You know your exercises! We'll just keep each other company and just eat something together afterwards!" Why was he so extreme positive? But before you could refuse again, the two Kasugai crows who were nearby spoke up as they flew circles over your heads.

"CAWW! L/N! GO NORTH AND HELP THE MIZUNOTO'S THERE!"

"Does that apply to both of us?" Rengoku asked curiously. This time Kaname answered "CAWW! NO! YOU SHALL GO SOUTH! THERE IS A DEMON IN THE MOUNTAINS!"

Your eyes met and you both knew it was time to do your duty as Demon Slayers. "I promise I'll talk to Tomioka and sort this out, you don't have to worry about it." He made a confident face and smiled.

"Thanks, but you really don't have to." You felt how something heavy weighed you down. Another favor you owed him. That was not good.

"But I see it as my duty! Y/N take care, but I'm confident you'll finish off that Demon there quickly. You are strong!"

You nodded before you turned around and headed north.

🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥🌊 🔥

My inbox is open for discussions as I am really curious what you all think about Y/N and this chapter, since we see the first time a conversation between them. Also what will happen when the flame man topic appears again?? Good or bad I don't mind as I can handle criticism very well (anon is active so go ham!). As many of you think, this trope is a slow burn and they both are actually not in love (yet). But things can change very quickly ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Taglist:

@krillfromsky @kingmultiverse404 @deepressed @nelissecrectplace @yomoya-girl @theycallmemrsbarnes @roninishere @beelzmunchkin @kyojurismo @stuckinthewrongworld @kythxrinx0310 @lynnw @love-me-satoru @felix99999l @poussitightpoussiclean @noarawriteszr @strawberrymm @rye-flower

[adalwolfgang]

Die Society

Chapter 1 : Ricardo Zizi

Warning: Smoking, Curse words, Ricardo being Ricardo

It's been a whole month since you've made your move to Los Angeles, California. Moving has allowed you to be introduced to incredible opportunities regarding your lifestyle and career. After finishing college, you decided it would be best to travel. Decide what you want to do with your life.

So far, no luck has come with getting a stable career, but you were able to find a fitting lifestyle and routine.

The apartment you had rented out was rather nice. One master bedroom, a single guest bedroom, a kitchen, and a decent size bathroom.

Some neighbors from your apartment complex recommended going downtown where most business's looked for help.

A neighbor down the call of the apartment building recommended trying out at a gym that wasn't far down the road. You took your time, strolling down the street and taking in the new sights. After asking around, a group of locals told you where the studio was. Upon arriving to the front of the building, nothing seemed to stand out, apart from the large sign saying, "Zizi's Spin Class". When walking in, a strong smell wafted through your nose. Burned Tobacco. The bell chimed notifying the receptionist. She glanced up at you for a second before speaking.

"If you're a member, you're late for the spin class and if you're new. You're still late for the spin class.”

Before you could respond a man walked around a wall connecting to what could only be the workout studio. The man was tall with long dark hair, round glasses, and a Versace outfit.

"Hello, welcome to my private spin class. My name is Ricardo and I'll be your instructor this evening." The man said before grabbing your hand and giving it a quick kiss. 'Awkward' was all you could think of as he led you to a group of people sitting on spin bikes while explaining that you can participate in the class and get a membership afterwards, if you want too of course.

He sets you in the front row, claiming it was the only one left. Once he got on his bike, he informed everyone to warm up first, then the class would start.

Time Skip...

Ricardo started to clap randomly, making peoples little side convo's quiet down. Once the claps got softer, his eyes glancing in your direction, he leaned forward and began talking.

"All right...Is this working?" he said as he tapped a microphone attached to the front of his bike. "Hey everyone, how are you doing? Welcome to another silent spin class with me, Ricardo Zizi. Now, I see a lot of new faces here which is great. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for coming along for a new type of spin experience and to explain a little bit more about what we do in these sessions. So, if you look to your right, on your bike you got some headphones. And these headphones are connected to radio, streaming services and this little doodad right here" he explains while motioning with his hands as he lists off all the things the headphones are connected to.

"The idea of silent spin class is its either silent in which case you can just switch off the sound or you can just concentrate on the sounds you want to hear." He keeps eye contact with you for a few seconds before looking away and adjusting himself on his bike.

"Now it's a full body spin workout so I hope that you remember that the winner takes it all because we are going to be working those, abdominals, making those obliques look fleek and just having a good time." He pauses for a moment before continuing.

"Now before you begin, because not everyone is as good as you, reset your machine by pressing the button and holding it on the left." Everyone does as they're told, you doing the same.

"Mhmm.. Everyone ready? Let's begin." As he continues talking everyone through the process, his attention seems to shift toward you again. You raise an eyebrow at him, all he does is smirk in return.

"Now, I'll be keeping my voice fairly quiet, so that I don't suprise you or make you swerve into another cyclist, right?" A few people laugh at his joke, while others are already in concentration with cycling.

"But I want you to be mindful at the kind of speed we're going here today. So, we're looking at about 35 kilometers per hour, and by the end of today's session we should have burned off about 300 calories. Now I don't want you worrying about being able to keep up. Go with your pace. Remember if it was a race, we'd be on the road but we're all here. Static. Burning calories together and enjoying each other's company." He shoots a wink your way before continuing his little speech.

"Right, so on your display you can see the time. We've already done a minute; it wasn't that easy."

"With your hands, if you place them on the diodes on the left and right you will get a heart reading. This is your heart so pay attention. Make sure you don't push it too far, okay? I'm looking at you, yes right Joey I remember. Now we've also got lots of other information, the calories burning, the distance, all the fun stuff. On the front of your bike, you also have two resistance bands to make a delightfully relaxful sound. We're going to be using those in conjunction with the cycling in general to ensure that you get a full body work out." As you process his words, you do start feeling the burn in your body. Small droplets of sweat already forming on your skin.

"Okay guys, we're up to almost two and a half minutes. Another two-and-a-half-minute mark we are going to start using the resistance bands. I'm not going to say much, just follow my lead. I'm going to start by working the obliques. Pulling and turning to the appropriate side." As he talks, he demonstrates what to do.

"All right, how's that sound" he says as he leans forward again on his bike while smiling and staring at you. You just raise an eyebrow before shifting your gaze to the wall behind him causing him to chuckle under his breath as he gets back to talking.

"Oh, now just before I forget when you arrive, please make sure you sign in at the reception in case there's a fire or something. We got to make sure everyone's accounted for. All right, so if you want to warm up go ahead and do that." Right as he finishes his sentence, he proceeds to talk directly to you.

"Hey, as you can see, I'm wearing my Versace, so you better have brought your game face, right?"

After saying this he starts smiling to himself before ending the discourse conversation.

"Let's do some quick exercise's" He points at you, "You got this, don't worry."

"Remember, concentrate on your breathing, keep it regular. If it helps breath in on pull and out on when you let go. But when you pull remember to control the return. Thats where the strength comes in. Alright let's do both. Test those pecks." He continues the exercise 2 more times before talking again.

"Now you'll notice on your bike there is a resistance setting, by default set this to five. All right? You can turn it down if you want. The only thing you need to worry about is yourself. Don't look left, don't look right, hell don't even necessarily look at me. Concentrate on yourself. You don't have to race, ok? And if you can tense your muscles a little. Your abdominals, not traditionally work out on a bike but what you can do is lift yourself while riding. Tense up real good and push." He proceeds to grabs both sides of the bikes seat and lift himself to show everyone who is watching.

"Let's do some bicep and triceps' work. Grab both the resistance bands and lift." He continues this a few more times before leaning closer to the front of his bike.

"How are we feeling? Good. Hey, new face, front row, enjoying it?" You simply respond that you are starting to feel a sweat on your head.

"Oh yeah, you'll be working up a sweat all right. Don't worry." Before you can make a comeback, he starts calling out someone in the back.

"Joey, Both feet dude."

As everyone continues cycling, Mr. Hotshot starts talking to no one in particular on stretching as he stretches his muscles. The thing is, as he is doing it, he keeps direct eye contact with you and just smirks every time you happen to make eye contact with him. This guy was starting to weird you out.

"Now we are approaching the eight-minute mark. Now as regulars know at about the 15-minute mark, we go into solo mode. Now this is where even I put on my headphones we emote. We concentrate on the music, listen to it. It becomes our rhythm as we cycle. Today I'm listening to something, and I want to see if you can work out which song by the way I choose to emote. And I want to see emotion from all of you. Every. Single. One. You got that? No, Lip syncing is imperative. You must Lip Sync or you're out of the class. All right?" Everyone just nods before getting their choice of music ready, some people already having their music playing.

"I don't want to hear it, Joey." He says this as he points to the man from earlier, then goes back to as if nothing happened.

"All Right, so remember that we're feeling pretty relaxed, and the good news is we're just about to hit 100 calories burned. We're approaching the nine-minute mark. Let's do some pecs." Again, he demonstrates the exercise four more times while keeping eye contact with you.

"How are we all feeling? We should be maintaining a rough 35 to 40k. It's ok if you're not but I don't know about you. I'm starting to sweat, which is no bad thing. So, make sure that you are drinking plenty of fluids. I want to see each of you with your water, taking a sip whenever you need to, okay?"

He goes on to walking through with everyone on the exercises for about, 3 minutes before leaning forward and talking to you again.

"You are doing really well. I'm very impressed." He fixes he glasses before trying to ask you a question.

"Would you come- Sorry microphone right." He adjusts his shirt before continuing.

"Okay, we're coming up to the 15-minute mark which is emote territory, so I need you to emote. We are almost hitting 150 calories, which is great. You've all got this. You are all impressing me. You are all a testament to the success of the silent spin." He does a few more movements before speaking again.

"All right, halfway. Nearly halfway at 15 minutes you're going to hit 150 calories. This is two burgers you ate, Jill. You should be feeling the heat now.

Feeling little drip drops of sweat down your forehead. You don't know where you are going, but you are getting there in style. You are getting there on a bike, without wheels, like the angels of old.

Behold spin." You just look at him with a hesitant look. 'This man is weird in the weirdest way' was all you could think to describe him.

"All right. Cynthia, I want to see better posture.

Much better. I'm very impressed. Good. Very good..." As he points and praises at you, he shoots another wink your way. Smirking like some lascivious fool.

"You, what's your name? Andrew. Andy Pandy. Pudding pie. Rode the bike. And made them die. Okay guys, headphones on. It's Emote time." After saying this everyone including yourself put on your headphones. Ricardo grabs his phone from the upholder on his bike and starts looking for the song he wanted everyone to guess.

After you find your song of choice, you start lip syncing. Everyone starts doing the same, but what make you question this instructor even more was him dancing. Not your normal head movements to certain lyrics but actually dancing, as if he was in some night club. This went on for about six to seven minutes if you had to take a guess. Soon the silent emote or whatever he calls it was over, he threw his headphones to the right of him and started talking again.

"Okay, apologies if I got a little...carried away there. It's a favorite of mine. And-phew makes me sweat. Hey. Andrew. Great work on the emoting. You are definitely invited." This made you even more confused. Invited to what? Was doing exercise a test for something?

"We are now 20 minutes in. You have all done incredibly well. We're going to do a few more minutes, okay?" He looks at you before speaking again. " How are you feeling? You, okay?" You simply nod. "Good." He continues to work with the resistance bands a few times before speaking again.

"I don't know about you guys, but I feel like we've done a pretty good workout today. How are we feeling? Joey. Cynthia. Carl, I didn't see you. Hey buddy. You're rocking out to the crew? Of course you are. We are coming up to 216 calories burned. That is indicative. About 23 minutes of us cycling together. We've been varying our speeds between 30-35 kph. Okay I want all of you to feel proud of what you've done today. That was some serious spin. Really, really impressive stuff but I think we'll call it a day for now. So slow down, slow down, that's it. Okay, now we don't want to be like those other people before us, do we? So, we reset the machine when we step off of it. I want to say, well done, again. Let's do some breathing exercises to cool down. You ready? Okay so breathe in, and out(×4). All right, well, if you guys are anything like me. You got sweat in your eye. Your shirt is soaked, and you could use some food so all of you make your way out, but you!” He points toward you.

"Newbie, can I just talk to you for a minute? Once everyone else is gone?" You slowly shake your head yes as he smiles at you. You watch as people leave, and Ricardo starts bidding people out.

"Okay, see you Gel. Yeah, say hi. She going to come next week. Her funeral? Man." He slowly exhales before picking up some things and putting them back in their original spot. As he does this you ask him if somethings wrong.

"Ye, just two minutes. Hey. So- Oh man. Hey I... I hate to be that guy, but can I grab one of those?" He points at your pack of cigarettes peaking from your chest pocket. You question why he asks for one in a studio, but you reluctantly get one out and hand him one.

"Oh, thank you." You ask him if it's okay to smoke inside but all he says is, "Oh it's my studio, don't worry." You still feel skeptical with smoking and ask again to make sure. "Oh yeah, yeah, Mhmm." As he also uses your lighter, he thanks you again.

Soon the tension and awkwardness starts to build back up again so you try and make small talk.

"Oh, thanks for coming, yeah, it's a cool class huh. Yeah, I wanted to do something a little bit different. You know? All these spin classes are so noisy." You start asking him small questions like why his name is Ricardo.

"Ricardo Zizi. Yeah...It's Italian. My folks are from the old country. Yeah, I'm a little bit more...Modern. Yeah, erm this place is owned by...Hugo Hoffman. Heard of him?" You remember seeing billboards about someone with that name.

"That's right, real estate. I work for him. This? No, this is just a side gig. I'm into entertainment. I'm a Dj of course. Who isn't right?" He laughs at his own joke before taking another drag from the cigarette.

"You know...I can't get over this feeling that I've seen you somewhere before. This is a long shot, but you could work..." Before he can finish you already start panicking thinking he is going to ask you to be involved in something illegal . He must have noticed your panicked expression because he quickly interrupts.

"No nothing like that! Party work. Mr. Hoffman. He has these big 'top secret' shin digs. All you have to do is hand out some Hors D'oeuvre, maybe chat to a few guests, or some drinks. 300 bucks. What do you say?" You contemplate for a moment before asking if there is a catch because right now this seems too good to be true and sketchy all at once.

"There is one weird catch. He's a... hm... he's an eccentric guy. You know? Yeah, weirdo. Most super rich people are, don't you think? But anyway, he has dress requirements. Not just clothes but makeup. Things like that. Hairstyles. And he likes to see staff before he lets them into the party." You ask him a few more questions since you have no idea what you need to look like or what to wear.

"If you're still interested sure. Well look, why don't I take your number" He hands you his cell phone.

"Just pop it in there. Mhmm. Give me a sec." He starts tapping on his phone before your own phone dings.

"That's me. Ricardo Zizi. Spell it how it sounds. Two z's. I've just texted you two of my friends' numbers. The first one is Valencia. She's this crazy…women. She's going to do your makeup. Just how Mr. Hoffman likes it, okay? And the other number is for my friend Elissa. Well, she's my girlfriend actually." This both shocks and confuses you. This dudes been flirting with you the whole time while being in a relationship? What a prick. "But don't tell her I told you that- Anyways. She's a photographer so she'll take some snaps for you to share with Mr. Hoffman. All being good, Ill text you again letting you know it's cool and I'll send you the address." You still feel skeptical, but 300 dollars is a lot and would help with things. As if he can see the hesitation in your eyes he continues.

"It's one night, 300 bucks, easy money huh?"

Finally, you nod your head and thank him.

"It's the least I could do for the smoke. Oh! one more thing before I forget. You don't need to worry about that right now just go home, get cleaned up and then tomorrow go see Valencia. Then in the afternoon go see Elissa. Just text them before. They all have socials so it will be fine. But there is a bouncer on the doorway. I forget his name. Real grumpy guy but this kind of a 'eyes watch shit' type deal. You know what I mean so you're going to have to give him a password. The password is... Hel-..Hill...Hilarious...I think. Ill text it to you before the event regardless." After processing all this new information, you thank him again before getting ready to leave since it does seem like it's getting late, and you still need to do other things.

"Well, hey, it's been great to meet you" He shakes your hand. "Thank you for coming to the class. It's a lot of fun, right? Kind of goofy. I always get lost in that song. Probably says something about me huh. Good luck. It's been a real pleasure meeting you and all being well I'll see you tomorrow night and you'll be 300 bucks richer, and I'll be in the bosses' good books for getting someone who actually knows what they're doing. All right, well, I got another class starting up soon, so I better get ready. I'm caked in sweat. But thank you. I look forward to working with you. Ciao bello."

You walk out of the studio, looking down the the text message with both numbers sent to you. Oddly enough, the Los Angeles sun seemed to be going down so you start making the walk back to your apartment. You still couldn't get that negative thought out of your mind but you were able to push it to the back of your head. Til tomorrow.

[nicohverse]

Entropic Float's One Year Anniversary!

One year ago today- On July 7th, 2022- I released the 300k+ word long visual novel Entropic Float: This World Will Decay and Disappear, at no cost on itch and steam.

(Madeline by @unluckyerror404 on Artfight)

It was a labor of love- I worked on it for just over a year and a half, and my life changed a lot during that time. I got a job related to my degree, then proceeded to crash and burn when it turned out that I couldn't actually manage that job alongside my chronic conditions. Working on Entropic Float was the only thing during that time that really made me happy at all, so it's no surprise I ended up quitting for my health shortly after release...

Since I released Entropic Float, lots of things have happened. I've seen it referred to on reddit as 'the queerest game I've ever played'. I've received wonderful fanart. People have come to me saying that the game helped them realize they were physically disabled. My good friend, the vtuber FreyaFukunaga, played through the entire game on stream. There have of course been bad reviews too, negative feedback- No game can be for everyone, and Entropic Float is a game for some rather specific people. I've taken into account critiques made in good faith, and made efforts to improve these things where possible in updates to the game, and even moreso in the way they will be structured in Entropic Float 2: Land Of The Witch.

But before we talk about Entropic Float 2, which I'm sure you've all been waiting for information on, let me put some concerns to rest. I have, by no means, been doing nothing all this time. EF2 is coming along, though not in ways that are easy to share. Still, have a look-

Admittedly, it's a bit ugly without all the extra buttons, text, and more that will accompany this frame- It's just one small piece of the GUI I've been building. Entropic Float 2 is a big shift in style from the first game- For one, I'm no longer using Koikatsu for talksprites or environments. For another, it's going to be a point and click adventure game (Though the final release will include a 'kinetic novel version' option for those who prefer to play VNs on auto-advance!). You can see it, right? The menu buttons along the right edge, an inventory with tabs you can cycle in the bottom right corner, some information about the current state of the game in the empty space on the left...However, besides EF2, there have been other things I'm working on, and I'll admit to having some trouble finding a good workflow. During EF's development, it was simple enough- In my free time, I did those things which made me money (commissions, convention prep) and when those were done I worked on Entropic Float and did very little else. This workflow can no longer apply, because in the interim year, I've been building my small business, Nico's Fan Niche, on etsy. There are some pieces of Entropic Float merch available there! But the point is, now it seems there is always 'something to do which can make me money', as designing new products has a direct impact on my life now.

Besides the store, I'm also involved in other gamedev projects- I continue to be support staff on Heart Fragment, and am the primary artist of an RPG with a few friends of mine, yet to be formally announced. To top it all off, I do still have a day job. I work 30 hours a week (sometimes up to 39) with a studio called Small Victories. It's a wonderful and fulfilling position that gives me the space I need for personal projects, but that's still 30+ hours of the week not spent on those projects.

(Sharma by Quartoch on Artfight)

Finally- Entropic Float 2 is a loftier game than Entropic Float was. When I started EF, it was just for fun, to play with ren'py, and was never supposed to be as long as it ended up being. EF2 is a followup game. It needs to be bigger, better, and the pressure is on. For this reason, I decided to postpone making the game's art until after July- After Artfight 2023. My username there is nhitori if you want an attack from me! Each year, Artfight represents a huge burst of improvement for me and my artistic abilities. A talksprite drawn in June and a talksprite drawn in August would by nature be very obviously different in quality. I've been writing, outlining, working on GUI, but there hasn't been anything worth sharing on here yet.

Even so, I am very happy to announce- You should be able to expect the Entropic Float 2 Demo, and its Kickstarter, in November 2023!

Enter the Pine Creek Anomaly to discover exactly what happened in the small, Appalachian town several years ago- And why, so suddenly, the Anomaly started to invite outsiders in, after flying under the radar all this time. Kanatsune Ame returns to be guided by the player as he searches for the answers within a new cast of characters; Some familiar faces, some made more familiar after a mention in the Anomalous Clocktower, and some he's never met before at all.

And following shortly after the EF2 Demo and Kickstarter- There's one backer reward that will be fulfilled right away. Releasing in December 2023, right away for backers, just in time for the holidays if you just want to purchase it on its own (For only 5 USD- But if you played Entropic Float because it was free, and you really can't spare the money for any reason, do reach out to me.)

">It's been such a long time... But I've finally found You." (Box by Vanitasium on Artfight)

Quite a while after the stabilization of the Anomalous Clocktower, but not yet when you join Ame in the Pine Creek Anomaly- A voice calls out to you. A voice that is familiar, the voice which spoke directly to you throughout the first game. Informing you of the endings you've acquired. Warning you of what's ahead. Asking if you'd like to bring about the miracle. You never would have imagined that voice belonged to somebody. But it seems... She's gathered a new collection of stories for you. Fragments of those you've met before. Histories you couldn't see at the time, updates from the year since you left them behind. If you can read these stories and become more powerful again, like you did in the Clocktower, then maybe, just maybe... You and Her can meet face to face.

The Letters To A Beloved Ghost DLC for the first game will be arriving in December 2023! Along with the DLC, you'll also be able to install the 'Anachrono Mode' for Entropic Float. This mode replaces koikatsu talksprites with drawn talksprites in any cases where those have been added for DLC content. As the characters may be dressed in different clothing in these talksprites, and there may not be exact analogues for every expression, and the environments will remain koikatsu-style in most if not all places- It promises to be a bit anachronistic. But if the talksprites exist, may as well give you the option to use them!

One last thing- I'll be tabling in the Artist's Colony at Connecticon 2023, though I haven't got a table number yet. I also may be tabling at FANEXPO Boston 2023 (Unconfirmed), and Otakuthon 2023 (Waitlisted, but I'll still be attending as a guest if I don't get a table.) So if any fans reading this wanted to come say hello- There's a few opportunities. I might even have something for you, if you come by my table.

With that, the anniversary update is finished. That's all I've got for you right now- But there's a lot to look forward to! Thank you, as always, for reading, for playing, for being here with me on my gamedev journey.

[bmpmp3]

I MENTIONED this before but I kind of want to start doing a bit of routine blogging about music! Just for fun, I'm gonna start with a weekly little thing highlighting some covers and remixes I really like.

In general, there will be a bit of vocal synth focus in these posts because 1) I am. unwell. about vocal synthesis rn it haunts my every waking moment i see parameter curves when i close my eyes BUT ALSO 2) the vocal synthesizer community has always been built on covers, remixes, parodies, etc. so its only natural. Songs will likely be originally sung by synths but vocal synth community adjacent songs are also fair game, and who knows I might get bored and talk about a completely unrelated song at some point LOL

BUT of course, the covers, etc. highlighted will not all be sung by synthesizers: anythings fair game here too -> human covers, synth covers, instrumental covers and arranges, remixes, anything! And of course, my dearest twenty still-active followers among the legion of abandoned accounts in our midst, if you have anything you'd like to add on feel free to reblog! I'm always searching. I'm always searching.

I'm not sure if I'll keep this up or how things will go but. well. it's my blog, so we will have a bit of fun! For now, I will call these posts..............Cover-Remix Weekend (I am very good at misjudging how well I can keep to schedule so I'm gonna give myself a two day window to do this LOL and maybe I might post 2......the future is a mystery) for now at least. Maybe someday I will think of a better name (I will probably not) <3

SO with all that out of the way, to begin our very first Cover-Remix Weekend, let's go with a real classic: Koi wa Sensou (恋は戦争) (en: Love is War) by Ryo of Supercell!

You know Ryo, the Melt guy, the World is Mine guy, the Black Rock Shooter guy, the... well, he only worked with Vocaloid specifically for a few years before moving onto other things - but like basically every Vocaloid song he put out ended up becoming a huge vocal synth classic so that's one hell of a legacy for the community.

Koi wa Sensou specifically is one of my favourites: using Miku on the vocals (likely her original Vocaloid 2 release since the song came out in 2008 and I don't think her appends came out until a couple years later), it's a moody, intensely late-00s rock song, brings to mind some of the Linkin Park albums I listened to so much growing up: maybe that's why for years in middle school this was my favourite Vocaloid song...

Really strong, I love a good rock-y tune but what I love most is when there's quiet bits to push up the louder parts, some of those background twinkly synth keyboard sounds (?) really amp it up for me, plus that second verse fuzzy radio effect on the vocals + the reverb. God I love reverb. You can never take reverb away from me. She's my wife. Anyway the song is a love triangle with the singer declaring "war" in her (likely futile) pursuits of her love's affection. Good stuff!

And of course we can't forget this 3D music video by kkkk! Genuinely still really cool looking in my opinion:

(Sorry if the NND links aren't accessible without an account, I forgot if it's still restricted or not. I'm sure it's available on streaming somewhere though, check it out!)

You know, the first Vocaloid song I ever heard was... Melt (like a lot of people at the time LOL) BUT the very first time I had ever heard an utaite (cover singers basically for those who aren't familiar) was with a cover of Koi wa Sensou! Specifically, I was, again, still in middle school, looking up Vocaloid songs on Youtube and stumbling across a half-mislabelled reupload of this cover:

The reupload was called "Love is War - Kaito" with no specification of the singer or credits or anything. It was the way the scene was on Youtube in '08 unfortunately <3

This cover is actually by Nodoame (のど飴), an utaite who was pretty popular in the early days! It seems he's not really active anymore, but his covers were really nice, he's got a solid medium tone with a lot of power and expression. A nice nasal tone + some great bits of distortion on his vocals - one thing you will learn about me through these posts is what my vocal tastes are, and one thing specifically is how much I LOVE screaming HJEKDSJHlkdsfdsfds but for real the "ore no aishaku wo" at the end of that first chorus is fantastic.

Now, the reason I said "half-mislabelled" is because as the video for Nodoame's cover implies, the version of Koi wa Sensou he's singing is not the same as the Hatsune Miku sung original: the lyrics were changed! "Ai wa Sensou" (愛は戦争):

PROBABLY so Kaito and in turn, Nodoame, wouldn't have to sing about their skirts fluttering in the wind. It was 2008 and gendered language changing sure was the thing LOL I don't see it very often anymore, in general music regardless of language nor in vocal synth music specifically: people tend to just keep pronouns and other gendered terms the same nowadays since it doesn't matter too much + you don't have to worry about cadence in changes and such. But it's interesting, a few older Vocaloid tunes I'll talk about will probably have something similar -> lyric-changed versions for different characters, etc.

Now for something a little bit newer (although still nearly a decade old...) The Mwk remix!

A fun wubby and bwaaaaaa-y remix with an upped pace. I like this remix but I'm not super huge into it by itself - but you know who was enamoured by it? The vocal synth cover community LOL I'm not totally sure why it got so popular, maybe because it was a popular remix already + someone released an UST? Sometimes that's all that's needed to get us going, some project files so we don't have to try to make a midi ourselves <3 but that's just me, there might be something else.

But back on topic, what I do love is the covers people make of this remix, people have so much fun and it always sounds SO good! A classic is this Defoko cover by kimchi-tan:

Some quick background for those who aren't familiar (a couple IRL friends follow me blog and I am thinking of them when I write these kind of messy explanations. Hewwo fwiends) Uta Utane also known as Defoko (defaultina........) is the default voice built into the free vocal synthesizer program UTAU.

Sidetrack explanation incoming: UTAU is unique in that it was one of the earliest (or maybe the earliest?) vocal synth software that lets anyone make their own voicebanks just by recording audio and writing a configuration file! There are many ways an UTAU vocal synth can be made, and it largely has to do with the way they are recorded and how those recordings play together. For Japanese specifically, two of the most popular recording methods is CV and VCV, consonant-vowel and vowel-consonant-vowel respectively. CV is the easiest and simplest recording method, it doesn't take too long and its a small list of recordings needed to make up Japanese words: each record is a single syllable with every vowel sound + every consonant attached to every vowel, maybe an AH あ sound and then an EE (い) sound, then a BAH (ば) sound and a BEE (び) sound, etc. While this is small, quick, and very solid, it can sound a little choppy since each syllable recording is just silence and then the consonant and vowel, all being stitched together by the program. This is where VCV comes in: instead of recording each syllable individual, you record a string of syllables transitioning together ("AaAhEeAhOohEhAh" type deal) so the program can place the tiniest transition sound between two notes, instead of, say, saying the word baby (I know I'm using english to explain a Japanese recording system shhhh) in CV it would be like. BEH. BEE. vs VCV it would be like BEH. yBEE. that little "y" being the transition sound as it fades one audio file to the next. Lot of recording work but it can sound fantastic, honestly there's plenty of VCV UTAU voicebanks I think sound more high quality and smoother than commercial synths even. Although don't get me wrong, I do love the robotic choppy sound of a CV bank a lot too!

ANYWAY explanation sidetrack over, back on topic: Defoko is interesting in that her recordings were not from a person directly recording for UTAU like most UTAU voicebanks are: they were from a text-to-speech software a la Microsoft Sam, MacinTalk, etc. She has a very unique voice because of this double-synthesis nature: first her voice (Josei 1 in AquesTalk) was synthesized to say basic syllables in a speaking voice, and then those audio files were put into UTAU and stretched and looped to be sung! Really neat. Also this is why I know so much about speech synthesis in general btw, once you get into vocal synths this is what happens to you LOL

Anyway Defoko is a CV bank, but sometimes people will take the original AquesTalk software to make their own VCV banks with the same voice. It's kind of a legal gray area from what I can tell, the guy who makes UTAU has permission from AquesTalk to distribute Defoko in his program if I remember correctly but no one else does - so you won't see any downloads for a Defoko VCV, you can make one yourself for personal use though and people don't really mind! Distribution rights are a big and sometimes messy thing in vocal synth.

BUT what I'm trying to get at is Defoko has a really unique, moody sound to her because of her unusual origins which already works great for this Koi wa Sensou remix, but combined with the smoother sound of the VCV recording method plus kimchi-tan's tuning, this cover sounds really expressive! I love the softer, breathy "baka da na" before the powerful "watashi" before the first chorus especially.

And another Mwk remix cover I like, this one this one by Andyfined - P featuring an early SynthV Editor (pre-SynthV Studio!) version of Genbu:

I'm assuming based off the description this may have been a beta version of Genbu specifically (I don't remember 2019 super well in regards to vocal synths so I forget his release trajectory orz) but I think he sounds really great here, Genbu's legacy versions have this really nice steadiness in his vocals that I do love.

ONE MORE THING one more thing I prommy I'm almost done. I'm almost done. For today *ominous horror movie music starts playing*

While looking around for title translations I found out that there was a remix project for Koi wa Sensou! It really was like one of the biggest vocaloid songs out there huh... Anyway, Eager Love Revenge is the name, released at Comiket 76, check it out if you have the chance and you just can't get enough of Koi wa Sensou. I haven't listened to it all yet but I'm really enjoying the NTMG Mix by baker (ARPK + Fluffoughts composer if you're familiar):

I like this producer's house-y style work a lot! The chorus sounds great especially.

AND that is all..........................................................for now. The thing is I really love covers, remixes, all that - I know we all always say we're addicted to music but for me I really am like. Insatiable. Sometimes you love a song so much you need it MORE, not music similar to it but just "MORE"... stuff like this really scratches that itch for me. It really is a way to get MORE of something that there is only one of. I've mentioned before that I'm greedy with music, gluttonous about it, but isn't that a nice thing to be greedy about... it's something so easily shared!

And so I take my leave, thank u and goodnight. (flutters my skirt the wrong way and falls off the radio tower to my doom never to be seen again)

[randadrives]

Blog 0

Welcome! If you are into travel, reading, fitness, women's safety, and a consistent stream of dark humor and bullshit, you may be in the right place. If you're not really into traditional families, standard U.S. societal norms, or living to someone else's ideas/standards, you may be in the right place. As I travel along this writing journey, other topics will probably surface, so maybe stick around to find out.

My name is Miranda and I'm a 30-something woman from Western PA trying to figure out how to unlearn all the bullshit life has taught me so far and instead live the way I want to, even if I haven't quite nailed that down yet. I'm hoping this newfound blogging journey can help. I have set several goals for myself this decade, just to name several: to get to know myself better, be vulnerable (yikes), network with other like-minded individuals, and learn healthy independence. I am confident there are other people out there that absolutely despised their 20's and are deciding to embrace the rest of their lives after those godforsaken years.

What I really intended to do was keep a lifestyle blog aimed toward the child-free lifestyle. After a lot of thought, I do realize it's still one of my main personality traits as a millennial woman (of course I have two rescue dogs and drove a Subaru for 10 years), but I realized I did not want it to be a dividing factor. I fully embrace a child-free life, and meeting others who can relate would be fantastic. But I can't move forward with that specifically when I know all my dearest friends are bad ass parents. So though child-free will be a recurring theme, I feel my topics are going to be much broader than that label.

Part of getting to know myself is accepting who and what I have already been so far. So, to introduce myself, I'll give you a bit of a background to start. I grew up part of a large family with 5 siblings outside of Pittsburgh. I won't claim to have grown up in the worst situation, but chronic trauma was a theme in my youth. At a bright and shiny 20-year-old, I entered what I didn't know at the time would be an abusive marriage. I was an Army wife for 3 years before separating and divorcing. How did I make it out of that still child-free? I'm honestly unsure but thank goodness for me that I never had to coparent with that partner. This was probably the third time in my life starting therapy would have been a great idea, but I was ignorant to the subject, unfortunately. I worked in humane societies for 5 years so of course I'm a rescue snob. After a year or so of coping with my problems with partying too hard, I decided at a late age to enlist in the Air Force Reserves for health care and some stability. After 6 years of that would be the 76th time I should have started therapy. I was still pretty immature, but it did teach me a few things, and it gave me some of the best friendships I could ever ask for. During this time, I deployed, completed police academy, and job hopped until I realized it was never the department or area I worked in that made me miserable, but the culture and job itself. I worked extremely hard post-divorce to prove myself and be the best I could be. It was exhausting and it's taken me a long time to realize I can slow down and just be, without the constant need to succeed. It's a difficult thing to give up, but I'm working on it. There's a lot more in between all that, but those are the basics and cover a little bit of why my personality is the way it is. As of three years ago, I'm in therapy (finally). I'm a passionate person and sometimes probably have too much to say, so I'm anxious to get started on this blog. I'm hoping a person or two out there finds something they relate to here in the future. Obviously I'm new to sharing what I write, and it's important to me to be as authentic and true to myself as possible. There's nothing I dislike more than reading blogs that are fake, overly cheerful, or only surface level.

This is where a writer will usually ask you to visit their other content or click on a link, but I don't have that for you at this point! Please feel free to leave a comment and check back soon for more specific stuff! 

[f1nns1deblog]

Welcome back to another F1nn-ventures recap! Like in the Japan trip and Belle collab posts, I'll be presenting not only this week's new photos, but also a bit of the lore and fan reactions to provide context for why TWO posts from the f1nn5ter subreddit hit r/all yesterday!

First, let us return to a time nearly lost to the mists of history: May, 2020.

(I won't be doing a readmore on this post, sorry mobile scrollers!)

Two different gamer bros from two different countries have had the same idea: dress up like egirls and troll people on omegle. One of them is our boy F1nn,:

and the other is self-trained voice actor and professional YouTuber Natt:

In a moment of pure serendipity, they ended up in the same chat room, resulting in this viral clip:

(You can also check out the full version in Natt and F1nn's videos!)

F1nn and Natt went on to become good internet friends, with Natt popping in on F1nn's streams fairly regularly. (Natt also knew CottonTailVA before she met F1nn!) This year, Natt finally had the opportunity to visit the UK, so naturally he and F1nn planned to meet up irl.

Meanwhile, F1nn's chat loves "walking streams", where F1nn would occasionally live stream while walking around in public in "girl mode" as a dono goal. He started doing this at the beginning of the pandemic when it was late at night, so there were rarely people around to see him dressed up. After moving to his first (and current) house and getting yelled at by his friend MeowRiza, a trans woman, about reasonable safety precautions, walking streams were informally removed as a dono goal option.

Chat, of course, didn't give up hope. The idea of having a friend along to act as a body guard was raised, and it was suggested that F1nn go out somewhere safer, and perhaps do a video instead of being live. This topic came up again in F1nn's 2/18/23 stream, at which point everyone knew that Natt would be visiting in May. Natt was hanging out in chat during the stream, so an agreement was reached: F1nn would go on a "date" with Natt in full girl mode in London, IFF chat hit a dono goal of $15,000.00.

Chat smashed the dono goal in under 45 minutes.

(Check out stream timestamps 4:10:00-4:50:35 for the speedrun!)

All of that brings us to the events of this week (so far!).

On 5/18/23, Natt tweeted that he was in the UK, and on 5/20/23 F1nn posted a photo to his instastory of the sign at the Milton Keynes rail station. We knew they'd be meeting up soon, but not exactly when or what, if anything, they'd post about it.

On 5/21/23, Natt tweeted:

As per usual, the tweet was posted to the subreddit by (one of our new stream mods!!!) Barbie_secretstanner (who also posts F1nn's tweets here to tumblr! but I can't seem to @ them bc tumblr sucks sometimes):

I've included a screenshot of the post to show that Barbie indicated that this was a tweet by someone else, and she included a link to the original tweet as per typical subreddit archiving standards.

The reddit post blew up, relatively, because of how much chat has been anticipating F1nn being in girl mode in public, which led to it landing on r/all, where multiple lovely, supportive people apparently thought that someone was genuinely posting a selfie before their first date, as evidenced by comments that complimented F1nn's looks and encouraged him to have a good time. Natt also received some replies on twitter to the effect of, "She (meaning F1nn) looks cute, good luck bro!"

Next, F1nn posted this photo to his instastory:

Along with a short video that included Natt saying hi in his "girl voice" from across the hotel room they were both in. (To which we all said, 👀👀👀.)

This was followed up by F1nn tweeting:

which was posted to the subreddit by u/ECCOBLAST:

to which dudebros on twitter and reddit responded with ESSAYS about feminism, trans people, and dating norms in general, as they all immediately jumped to a diverse number of completely incorrect assumptions.

They said if women wanted equality then this is what they deserved, and gay men shouldn't expect hetero dating norms to apply just because they're pretty, and trans women should expect their dates to "see through" their chosen gender and be treated accordingly, and even that if F1nn was really a dude a birth then yeah, but because trans men are just self-hating cis women the "real" guy (Natt) should have paid the bill. There were even a few well-intentioned folks who said Natt was a shithead for bringing up F1nn's AGAB over his (presumed) actual gender!

The one assumption they had in common was that this was a post about a real date made by someone genuinely complaining about an actual comment made by a random guy that they were now putting on blast on the internet.

This firestorm of opinions was only somewhat calmed by Natt and then F1nn's replies to F1nn's tweet:

Which brings us to today! Nothing new has been posted so far by either of them, although I am typing this up before F1nn's usual posting time. We are anticipating a video to be made and hoping to see Natt on a F1nn stream, but editing takes a while and we have no clue what Natt's overall schedule is while in the UK, so we'll just have to wait and see if we get any more updates!

[lostwithspace]

@galranrepard

Danika was smart enough not to show off her weapon among the bridge. She concealed it when necessary. Only taking it out when among fellow blade members. "I can see that. Must be nice to not have to worry about getting caught here. Seems you make yourself at home wherever you go, hmm? No having to be on the fringe of getting caught aboard a large galra cruiser much less one that's a battle cruiser at that..." Danika sighed putting her weapon away as she was offered a golden apple drink. The fellow blade gladly sat down as she overhead Rio's conversation. "I wouldn't come here unless our leader advised to. Kolivan knows perfectly well who is capable of doing the mission...and since you are pretty good at making this vessel carry off-duty soldiers for a relaxing R&R it could give us a chance to finally bring the Galra Empire down. Especially now since Zarkon is on his death-bed and Haggar is making Lotor come back...there's no doubt that the Galra Empire will fall eventually, but with her at the helm and her druids...it is taking every once and viable resources to get one step ahead." The blue, red, and white galra had heard of those, like Thace, that were not so fortunate to escape the druids. Rumors in fact weren't even close to what her beloved blade brother. He was a hero among the universe for helping Voltron to escape the vile clutches of the central station where Zarkon kept a tight reign on the Galra Empire. "Good. I'm glad you understand though I think you underestimate yourself as a worthy part of the Blade of Marmora. Have some pride and confidence in yourself, Rio. After all...you are the Captain around here, hmm?" Danika reached over to reassure her fellow blade brother before taking a long swig of her drink. It was going to take all of her concentration to relay the whole mission to the captain of the Moth. She held out her data pad and gave it to Rio to look over. "Nothing that you can't handle. Just spying on this crew here while they are off-duty. If you get any vital information send that to me and I'll report back to the base. I will unfortunately have to stick with the commander in order to not get caught, but if I happen to get a break from him for a moment.. I'd like to catch up a bit if that's not a trouble of course." She didn't like fraternizing with the enemy but it was the only way to get intel, but part of her wanted to also hang out with her fellow blade member. He sounded like a lot of fun to be around with, and Danika could use any excuse or time away if only momentarily.

"It's its own beast living here at times, but sometimes you don't have an option and you make the best of it. There a different fringe you find yourself on."

"I-" Rio started to respond, but as the various names and well known officials started to be sent out, he went a little dumbstruck. He snapped out of it when Danika touched him in reassurance, and he slightly flinched, but didn't pull away. He took the pad and started to scroll through it, catching snippets of the information as it streamed pass his eyes.

"Well, a Captain, but a captain of one, plus whatever I can salvage back together." He tried to deflect the compliment offhandedly, but his voice wasn't in it, shaking off the mental stun.

He knew that their movements were tracked and probably other members of the Blades worked to directly or indirectly work against those as big in the Empire as Haggar or, well, the Empire itself as Zarkon. The former soldier just never really expected to having access or working on that level. And not just big names on one side of the conflict either...

"That should be no problem with listening in. Between the universal constant of people willing to talk about anything to a bartender, and a few of the listening devices I have. I'll need to set up a scanning script for key words or phrases so I can have the recordings highlighted without spending all my off time scanning-

"Ah, ahem, sorry, mind already working on the problem, I'm sure I'll get something." Rio pulled a wire from his padd and plugged it into Danika's, and started the data transfer.

"Um... if you feel it's safe to, you can come by. There's a rotation of when I'm open, I think it's set for after every three work rotations, I have two off and empty of any of the cruiser's crew. If you can't get to when you're off, or there's too many people, there's a hatch both above here and down below, I can show you, that bypasses the public general areas. It's been a while since I've had someone up here to socialize with, even more since another Blade member." He tried to give a reassuring smile.

It didn't last too long as he scratched the back of his neck and asked hesitantly. "So... when you say Kolivan knows; does that mean you actually know of him, or just that you heard that passed along?"

[beautifully-lumpy]

the beautiful person's journal - #10: the second channel

here is a google doc for the lost 2nd channel videos i could salvage! i'll be discussing some of these in today's entry.

this google drive folder compiled by my fandom friend and fellow caddicarus veteran @linc-karo-27 includes the ASMR video and the only surviving (to my knowledge) archives of the two 2014 streams that were posted to the second channel. it also includes the may 2019 update video and the failed 2020 GITCY stream.

let's face it: the withdrawal between caddicarus uploads is REAL. we can only rewatch those banger videos so many times to the point where we can recite them in our sleep, and twitter rants and instagram posts can only do so much to satisfy our hunger.

but of course, we have our greatest option - the stream archive channel! hours upon hours upon hours of streams are saved here, ready for our enjoyment. and don't even get me started on the "best of" videos!

when you scroll down far enough, you'll come to find that this channel wasn't always a stream archive. you'll find old video archives, an attempted let's play series, discussion videos, shitposts, mishka spyro YTPMVs, and a 2013 tour of caddy's room in his parents' house. and it was gold.

for this entry, we're going to be discussing the history of this channel and how it got to where it is today!

before 2019, this second channel was known as...

🎵 CAAAA-DYYYY'S CON-UN-DRUMS! 🎵

first established on august 24th, 2013, with its first upload being on september 11th and its announcement video being uploaded to the main channel on september 13th, caddy's conundrums was the place for any random video to be uploaded, be it related to video games or not. this was where drum covers called home until 2017, and where drive thru reviews got its start before it was moved to the main channel in 2015.

one thing i always found interesting about this era of the channel was how the graphic design looked arguably better than the main channel's. the logo actually looked super cool and wasn't made in cooltext. there was also a thumbnail avatar specifically used for this channel as well!

the channel's content

the channel's first upload was the classic "a tour of the room", where caddy gives us a detailed tour of his room in his parents' house. it's a wonderful time capsule of retro caddicarus and it's still up to this day if you would like to give it a watch.

the next upload was the first episode of the series "regarding". regarding was a show where caddy would discuss anything related to pop culture or video games or youtube changes...

...wait a second, this sounds a bit familiar...this show just might as well have been a precursor to the now-unlisted rant series that was posted on the main channel through late 2019! of course, the presentation was not as clickbait-y or angry as the 2019 rant series, but it's interesting to look at both series and see how the approach to video-making had changed between those eras.

there was also the [NOSTALGIACAD] series - which was an archive of his pre-TCS vids from the main channel. before the banger 2020 caddicarus episode where he reacted to these vids, fans would simply just come across them by scrolling to the bottom of the second channel and seeing for themselves. when i was 12 and about a month in on the beautiful people train, i came across "the cleaning", and that's actually where i found out his last name is caddick. it was through a comment on the video but comments on it are now disabled for some weird reason. i think i also memorized the words to "he's the dog" as well. lmao.

caddy cussbottom was a one-off that was originally going to be a series. it was basically "you know what's bullshit?" but british. this is where i found out the name of the certified hood classic "combine harvester" song that's used in a lot of his vids.

there was some funny shitpost-type stuff, like this one where cerys' snake pixie escaped her terrarium or this one that's basically a spyro YTPMV with mishka the dog. i'm not gonna go into depth about every single one - because (almost) every single one is still up as i'm typing this!

in early 2015, caddy did a sponsored video for 1up box, which was like a knockoff lootcrate. this was such a cute video, and it was done in a very caddy fashion. although it deeply hurt my soul when caddy didn't recognize BMO and called him "the 1up box guy".

the channel also serves as an archive for the failed puppicarus series, which was canceled and uploaded to the second channel a month after its premiere. i'll go into more depth about that series in a future entry - let's just say there's a reason i didn't talk about it in the entry about 2012-16 side shows.

there's two more i'll talk about - first one being this ASMR video from june 2016. this was during the peak of the asagao academy fandom, and this normalboots/hidden block dating sim basically brought a bunch of old and new fans together on tumblr. and it just so happened that most of the normalboots/hidden block guys used tumblr at the time. these fans sent them all kinds of asks...and one meme involving the fans trying to get them to make ASMR videos started up at one point. caddy declared on this post that if he got 5,000 notes, he'd make an ASMR video. and we all impressively got him there. yes, i also did daily reblogs on my old (now-deactivated) account. to people outside of tumblr, this video was out of left field, even for him. but it was the funniest shit ever. and it was privated in 2019. sigh.

there was also a video of bloopers from the tweenies video - and the bloopers consisted entirely of brutalmoose stumbling over his lines for the cameo. it's iconic. this was also sadly privated in 2019.

the decline

the channel was most utilized from 2013 to around mid-2015 as an outlet for drum covers, random topic discussions, shitposts, quick game reviews, and a brief stream archive - only 2 streams from 2014 were archived, and they can be found in karo's folder i linked at the top of the post.

2015 got off to an active start for the channel - we had the 1up box video, a regarding episode about the two spider-man movie actors, the aforementioned spyro YTPMV, and a video where caddy comments on how microsoft screwed up solitaire on windows 8. these videos were all uploaded between february and april, and after that, the channel went radio silent until puppicarus was archived in january 2016. after that, the ASMR video was posted that june, and the brutalmoose outtakes were posted in january 2017...and that was it for caddy's conundrums. so what happened?

well, to put it shortly, it was time constraints, the migration of drive thru reviews to the main channel in 2015, and the establishment of the caddy show.

now that caddy was producing two videos a week for the main channel in 2015, extensive amounts of time just couldn't be poured into the second channel anymore. and this would ESPECIALLY become more apparent during the reign of the 3-day-a-week schedule come 2016-18. around this same time, he would stop streaming, and he wouldn't stream again until after the retool in 2020.

the caddy show came along to the main channel in 2017 and would become a new outlet for...drum covers, random topic discussions, shitposts, and quick game reviews. this was another huge factor in the second channel's decline - the main channel started doing everything the second channel did. and so, the second channel declined.

...but it obviously wouldn't be that way forever.

the rejuvenation

around spring 2019, the name of the second channel was mysteriously re-named "caddy plays". there were initially no announcements or branding changes, just a random name change. we also saw the privating of the 9 drive thru reviews episodes that released on the channel - unfortunately, i could only salvage three of them. the drum covers were also privated for some insane reason.

this would later be officially acknowledged in a main channel update video in may. one of the announcements in that video was the announcement of let's plays, a first in caddicarus history. in the past, he'd expressed his disinterest in doing let's plays. but in 2019, he changed his mind, and in june, an n sane trilogy let's play began, with the videos being edited by cerys. cerys' contributions helped caddy continue to focus on the main channel while also maintaining the second channel.

this let's play series didn't last very long, only lasting from june 26th to september 11th in 2019. during that time, the only game completed was n sane trilogy. we had a one-off cuphead let's play with tomska, 2 parts of a ride to hell: retribution let's play, and one part of a blair witch let's play.

the titles were all-caps yelling - typical of let's play channels. the thumbnails weren't too clickbaity...with the obvious exception of the ride to hell videos where the sexy scenes were deliberately used. keep in mind that this was 2019 at-his-last-resort caddicarus, so he was doing all he could to try and stay relevant and bring in enough money to feed his family. i'll go into more depth about this crazy year in a future entry about what i dub the second intermediate period.

i personally didn't watch these let's plays - pretty much because i was absent for them. i'd stopped watching caddicarus a couple months prior to these developments, and while i knew what was going on thanks to karo, i wasn't actually watching the videos themselves.

but i can give you an interesting fact - the first part of the n sane trilogy let's play marked the very first use of lumpies and germs, the new fandom name for caddicarus fans after the retirement of beautiful people 10 months prior.

and y'know what? i outta start watching through these let's plays. it's more caddicarus content to tide me over until the spyro video. lol.

so after the last let's play video, the channel was dormant once again until finally, in april 2020, caddy officially returned to streaming. it was a joyous day in the community...ESPECIALLY for veteran folk like me. except i wasn't there for it...because i'd been gone for a year and onward ripped me a new one a month prior to this return. LMAO.

after this return, the second channel became a stream archive, and it was now seeing regular uploads all the time. by next year we were getting "best of (year)" videos edited by sir toasty. i remember sir toasty being a fan for years and it was so heartwarming seeing him get that chance to work for caddy.

so just like the main channel - the second channel had the best possible outcome after all the adversity. it finally hit the 100k mark in march of this year and is still steadily growing.

while it was never as well known as the main channel, the content of the second channel has still touched the hearts of thousands of caddicarus fans, from generation to generation.

so that's a wrap for this entry. i've now covered every show that's been done across both channels (except for puppicarus, of course). in the next entry, we'll be exploring caddy's history with sponsors, and how sponsor segments evolved over the years!

[usedpidemo]

Do you think K-pop concert ticket prices are too expensive now? What do you think should be the threshold, and what can be done to give all fans, whether casual or diehard, a great experience?

I could go on an entire rant/tangent on what I think concerts as a whole should be like, but it would be the length of a regular fic, so I'll spare you every issue and thought I have about them. I've only been to one concert in my whole life, so I don't have the experience or depth that other concertgoers have, but let's just say the streaming and COVID economy fucked up everything.

Prices: I believe the terrible royalties from streaming, as well as the increased demand for live shows in general has caused these ticket prices to skyrocket. Like you can't just buy a ticket for a decent seat for less than $70 now, that shit only gives you nosebleed seats. Not to mention the deliberate collusion of scalpers by ticketing sites. Those resale tickets and third parties directly cooperate with Ticketmaster so they can punch a bit more money from consumers. And don't even get me started with Dynamic Pricing and those terrible service fees. I'm fortunate enough to live in a country where such things don't exist, but with HYBE openly expressing their intention to enable dynamic pricing and finding alternatives in places where it's not available, you can bet they'll find a way to punch up the prices too.

I understand why they charge this much. Fans will go out to see their favorite artist, regardless of how much they complain about it. FOMO. You don't know if they'll come back to your country or city, or when. Not to mention, the typical K-pop concert is a much grander production than, say, your average pop star. You got backup dancers, large stages, numerous costume changes, sometimes a live band, and of course, multiple members with dozens of staff managing a group. Concerts are the biggest revenue/income drive now for a majority of artists because of how music is distributed today, so they have to break even. Doing world tours are costly; consider the VISA and other costs on a country-to-country basis. No wonder they'd rather tour the US and Japan only to save a few thousand dollars.

It's difficult to gauge the threshold because popularity and demand is fickle, especially in K-pop. However, if there has to be a limit, I personally would stop at around $1000-sub range. There's not a damn singer or artist on planet earth, dead or alive, that's worth over a $1000 ticket. Even MJ. The economy isn't looking good, inflation keeps jumping year by year, and concerts have become basically rich people havens too.

Personally, I do think it'll eventually die out. There's a touring oversaturation right now that it dries people out and we have to pick and choose who we want to attend.

There's a few things I really want to see happen in the future, ideally:

• Rookies shouldn't be pricier than their seniors. I don't care if its NewJeans, IVE, or Le sserafim, they really shouldn't be more expensive than say, a 3-4 year old group. It's ridiculous how NMIXX and IVE were more expensive than The Boyz or ATEEZ.

• Announcing ticket sale literally right after the tour announcement. This is something I absolutely hate. Why are you selling tickets for a show six-eight months away like two weeks after announcing it? Fucking insane! It gives us little to no prep time to gather up resources and plan accordingly. Also, what if something happens that causes a concert to be canceled or delayed? It'll be much harder for us to get refunds back, which is exactly why they pull this shit off. Normalize selling tickets at most two months-a month before the show.

• Make the ticket prices worth it. This is my biggest gripe with concerts, more than the prices: that you're basically paying for the seats and nothing else. I'm not gonna lie, I likely wouldn't have gone out to my one and only concert if I wasn't guaranteed anything else besides a nice seat. Pre-pandemic, the price of the ticket I bought would have given me a group/solo pic with the group and some other cool perks like maybe signed merch. Now? Most concerts give you the show and nothing more. You have to justify paying that hefty tag beyond just a close view of your favorite artist. I remember when pop stars like Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, and The Weeknd had photo-ops before the show for those VIP tivkets. COVID ruined all of that. It's such a damn shame, because at best, you're getting soundcheck, which I'm not fond of, in my opinion. It forces people to bait for interactions and not enjoy themselves during the show cuz they aren't guaranteed artist engagement (though this won't really change anything if we're being real lol). I personally would be a lot more comfortable and have a greater time if I knew I could greet them before or after the show instead of trying too hard to get their attention.

[queervegancryptid]

I can't begin to explain this. It was a stream of consciousness sort of thing that I had to get out. It's been a fucked up time lately. Putting this under the cut because I talk about, in detail, the way it can feel for me dealing with food lately. I'm sitting outside at 1 AM because I don't even want to look at food right now. I cannot control myself. Literally.

There is no reason I should even be conscious. I'm not sure why I am.

The next several days and weeks are not going to be easy.

I just ate more in one sitting than I have in a long time. It really sucks. It wasn't a binge in the sense that I lost control, because I didn't. Everything was done in such a deliberate way, my choices and actions, and I'm not sure how to feel about that. This early, when I'm just barely committed to the idea of recovery, I have to consciously do this over and over.

If I'm not thinking about it in clinical or mechanical terms, I'm not going to get through it. It's at once both incredibly vivid and very far away. The choice has to be deliberate, but I'm very removed from the physical act itself most of the time. I'm trying to get through it and often dissociate until it's over.

And then you have to reckon with having eaten and everything your mind will tell you about it. It's the kind of moment you just have to exist through and come out the other side alive, but I've had a lot of those lately. I'm more exhausted than I've ever been in my life, and yet I feel driven to continue to do something, anything, like I can't help myself.

I think it's because I feel like I won't be able to stop myself from bingeing if I'm not otherwise occupied. And I keep trying to stay busy rather than simply resting because it's "not time" to rest.

Now I have to sit here and live with what's just happened. It sounds like it should be easy. I ate food because people need to eat sometimes to stay alive. That's all. It's a biological process, not something to be feared. Not something dangerous or even excessive. I'm barely keeping myself alive right now. And that's been difficult.

I really am doing my best. It's depressing how much my best sucks right now, though. Never let it be said that an eating disorder is a good idea. I suppose I just didn't think I'd live this long, when it all started. And I was powerfully self-destructive. Pathological, almost.

The real problem isn't so much what I just ate but that my hunger knows no earthly limit. I'm nowhere near ready to give into extreme hunger. I'm just not. But believe me when I tell you, it's real, and it's fucking primal. It's not the kind of thing that you can avoid forever. Eventually, something breaks loose.

I just ate, and I'm prepared to live with that.

I am not prepared for more food right now, but my body is crying out for it. This is beyond terrifying. I'm trapped. That's essentially it. The force of my biological need for food collides with the force of my eating disorder bullshit. Basically, I'm trying to bend logic, to defy everything I know about science and nutrition, in order to what? Starve myself? And then what? To what end? No, really, where does it stop?

I might be having a little bit of a panic attack, oops lol

The real fear now is that I'll start eating without any kind of control. I'll keep going and going and then I'll definitely be tempted to purge. It's not an option, but there are days lately when I can't help feeling a little tempted all the same.

I had to ask my partner to stay home from work to be with me. I didn't trust myself not to lose it and go to town with bulimia for a little while. Except it's never just a little. I just can't help myself.

And that was a first for me, asking and receiving support. I've never let anyone else see me like this. It's really hard. You just feel exposed, turned inside out, poked and prodded at, this kind of deep vulnerability. It gets ugly.

I never had to werewolf myself before. Of course, I also had never bothered to try, because my gag reflex stopped working for a while. Purging wasn't happening at all. That's beyond terrifying. I can't even put it in words.

I mean, I never felt like an addict before that moment. I had been pushed to my entire limit that day, and I did not want to be alone. I knew what would happen. I can't even explain how hard it is to stop myself sometimes.

That might be the most exhausting part of this whole thing: I am constantly using extreme mental discipline with myself to put my body through all this, while also trying to stop myself from doing that exact thing. Do you know how crazy you have to be to convince yourself that your body will run on an extreme calorie restriction diet indefinitely? That it's a good idea in the first place? That your safety and worth are predicated entirely on your ability to endure it?

I have never been this annoyed with my own fucking brain. And that's saying a lot.