#oh my math test went super well!! if all goes well i might get a perfect score

[glacialheart]

BOO!!

[pan-fangirl-345]

Books Bring People Together

Summary: A frustrated and stuck Kaminari comes to you for help, and it somehow blooms into something else along the way.

TW: I made Kaminari ADHD, so I'm sorry if there's anything wrong, I went off what my ADHD friends do and what a medical site told me. I myself am not ADHD, so again, I apologize if there's anything wrong with this. Small swears, and Mineta, which should be a warning in and of itself.

A/N: I have had this half-baked idea stuck in my head for months and I wanted it out, so I am giving you all this!

"Hey, um, (Y/L/N), can I ask you something?" Kaminari asked, sliding into the chair across from you at the common room table.

"Sure, what's up?" you asked, setting your pencil down on the paragraph you were reading.

"Um, this is kind of embarrassing," Kaminari admitted. "But, um, I'm having a really hard time with English right now, and I know that you're right behind Bakugou in grades."

"Where are you going with this Kaminari?" you asked, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

You had heard things about Kaminari, and after meeting Mineta and knowing that Kaminari hung around with him, you didn't have the best impression of him. You had just been placed in Class 2-A, and so far you had mostly hung around with what the other students were calling the 'Dekusquad'.

"I need someone to tutor me," he admitted. "Normally English isn't all that hard for me, but Shakespeare is whack and I don't understand half of it."

"You want me," you started, "to tutor you. Why not ask Bakugou? Isn't he your friend?"

"Yeah, but . . . Bakugou has . . . harsh methods, and I need someone who won't treat me like an idiot," Kaminari confessed.

"Alright," you relented. "Why don't we get started now? Do you have anything going on?"

"No, this takes precedent," Kaminari said, rushing to grab his things.

"Alright, here's my question for you," you said when he propped his book open. "Why don't you understand?" You saw the look on his face change and you winced. "Sorry, sometimes I have a hard time controlling the tone of my voice. Let me rephrase that question." You paused for a moment, thinking of the right words before you said, "What about this don't you understand? What's the one thing about this that trips you up?"

"The formatting for one thing," Kaminari grumbled. "Why the hell is printed like that?"

You chuckled, brushing hair out of your face. You had thought the same thing the first time you had read Shakespeare.

"Alright, how about you just read, and then you can ask me any questions while I work on my own stuff, alright?"

"That sounds like it might work," he admitted.

"If that doesn't work, feel free to let me know," you told him. "This is about what helps you remember the material better."

"No, like I said, normally this is really easy for me," Kaminari said. "Let's try it."

"Alright, and remember, if you have any questions, I'm right here."

"Thanks (Y/L/N)," he mumbled.

"Of course, I wouldn't be much of a hero if I couldn't help people, right?" you mused, smiling at him.

"R-Right!" he chirped, grinning back at you.

You both worked in silence for a little bit before Kaminari leaned back in his chair, rubbing at him eyes.

"You okay?" you asked.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm ADHD, so sitting still and trying to read this is a little hard," he confessed. "And I might be dyslexic, I've never been tested but sometimes reading is hard for me."

You frowned, biting the inside of your lip, running the situation through your head.

"What if I read it to you?" you asked, looking up from your chemistry homework.

"How? It's a play," Kaminari said.

"I used to be in a drama club in middle school," you told him. "It's set up like a script, or if we don't have the energy to act it out, it's not hard to pretend that it's a regular story."

Kaminari stared at you for a moment before he nodded.

"Yeah, yeah I think that might work a little bit better than me staring at the same paragraph for fifteen minutes without actually reading anything."

"What part are you on?" you asked Kaminari, moving to glance over his shoulder at the page.

"Portia is trying to convince Brutus to tell her what's going on in her house. I think."

"Oh, I adore this part," you muttered, mostly to yourself. "Alright, what has you stuck?"

"This part. 'I grant I am a woman; but withal A woman well-reputed, Cato's daughter. Think you I am no stronger than my sex, Being so father'd and so husbanded? Tell me your counsels, I will not disclose 'em: I have made strong proof of my constancy, Giving myself a voluntary wound Here, in the thigh: can I bear that with patience. And not my husband's secrets?' I don't entirely understand what she's saying."

Wow, English must've been his thing, he didn't mess up a single word, and he was able to read it fairly fluently, everything considered. It might have taken him a little longer than normal, but he had nailed it.

"Okay, so she's basically telling Brutus that she won't tell his secrets if he tells her what's going on, it doesn't matter if she's a woman or not."

"What was with the voluntary wound thing?"

"So, it depends. Sometimes, in plays, the women playing Portia will have a fake knife and stab themselves in the thigh, other times they pretend to slice themselves, depends on the director," you told him. "She basically cut herself on the thigh and said, 'If I can handle this I can handle whatever's going on inside your head.' Do you understand?"

"Yeah, but damn, this woman is a badass," Kaminari said, staring down at the pages."

"Right? Some people read that as psychotic, but it's Shakespeare," you told him, "everything in Shakespeare is psychotic to some extent."

"That's fair. Thank you for explaining that to me," he said.

"Of course, that is why you came to me," you replied, laying a hand on his shoulder for a moment before you moved back to your seat.

Kaminari, despite the things you had heard, was actually quite intelligent, it just took him a little longer to get the answer sometimes.

"Thank you so much for helping me," Kaminari murmured. "You were super helpful."

"Of course, I actually enjoyed helping you," you told him. "And if you need any more help, please, let me know."

"I will, thank you so much (Y/L/N)," Kaminari repeated.

"Have a good night Kaminari," you told him.

"You too!" he chirped before he headed up to his room.

You sat down at the table again, staring at the chemical formula in front of you.

So, if zinc only had one charge, positive two, and it was combined with thiosulfate, that meant that there shouldn't be the need for two of the zinc atoms, they would make the charge neutral.

You wrote the answer down, checking the textbook to make sure you were right. Polyatomic ions were a little more complicated than monoatomic ions.

There were only a few more questions, and then you could go to bed too, and you just hoped that there were no trick questions.

You were the last one in the common room, as usual, despite assuring Iida that you were right behind him when he went to bed an hour ago.

"Alright (Y/F/N), time for some good sleep," you muttered, shutting your book and gathering your supplies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had been tutoring Kaminari for about six weeks, and he was definitely smarter than people gave him credit for. Sometimes he just needed a few minutes to think, or he needed something explained to him in a different way than everyone else.

Sero had been joining your little tutoring sessions too, and you had started doing them in Sero's room, since there were things Kaminari could mess with while he studied, and it was an environment where he didn't feel the need to prove himself.

"Hey, (Y/L/N), can you help me with this problem?" Sero asked, waving you over.

"Of course, what are we working on?" you inquired.

"Polyatomic ions, again," Sero said. "I need this extra credit."

"Alright, which one are you stuck on?"

"How do I figure out which Roman numeral goes here? Gold has multiple charges."

"You work backwards," you told him. "When you look at the formula, you need to figure out what charge dihydrogen phosphate has."

You gestured to the chemical formula.

"It has a negative one charge. Right?" Sero inquired, checking the list of common ions that the teacher had given them at the beginning of the unit.

"Right, and you have three of those ions, right?"

"Yeah, because there's a subscripted three outside the parentheses."

"So you have three of those, which means that those three together have a negative three charge."

"Right."

"So now you just have to figure out which gold variant has the right charge to cancel that one out."

"Well, there's only one gold atom, so it's gold three right?"

"Bingo, you got it."

"Oh, that makes it so much easier than what I was doing," he muttered, erasing the math he had been doing, writing down the way you had just shown him.

"(Y/L/N), can you come read through this essay for me?" Kaminari asked. "I think it's okay, but I need another eye on this."

"Sure, hand it over," you told him, taking the papers that he had handed to you.

You grabbed one of your signature blue pens and uncapped it, ready to mark anything you thought he could do better.

There wasn't as much as you were expecting. While Kaminari had a hard time interpreting things, once he understood, he was golden. He had a way with words, you noticed as you scanned through the paper he needed to hand in next class. You assumed that it gave him time to think about the right phrasing of things.

Other than a few grammatical and spelling errors, the paper was well written, and there was nothing major that needed fixing.

"Good job Kami, this is really good," you told him, ruffling his hair lightly.

He responded well to physical affection and praise, you had also noticed, and he made it easy.

Once you got past the typical shield he threw up, he was a nice guy with insecurities, just like everyone else.

He chuckled, leaning into your hand.

You noticed that the others didn't touch Kaminari as much as you did, despite having known him for much longer. They were worried about getting shocked, Sero had told you.

"Why though? He's never shocked me," you had told him.

"He can't control it sometimes, it builds up in his body and it needs an out."

"Well, that still no reason to stop touching him," you had mused. "If he shocks me he shocks me, it's really no big deal."

Kaminari had only shocked you once, during a thunderstorm when there had been a lot of lightning outside. He had gotten excited about getting a 90 on one of his tests, and had hugged you, giving you a slight shock.

He had apologized profusely, but you had waved his apologies off.

"It's okay Kaminari," you told him. "It happens to all of us sometimes."

You were finding yourself thinking about him more than you should've. You had become good friends with both him and Sero, and the other students had started coming to you when they had a question, but Kaminari was a little different.

It had started out with the flirty comments, but slowly those had turned into real compliments. He had been keeping Mineta away from you more and more, and he had even started laying off the perving with the grape rat.

He was a good guy, he really was, despite the playboy attitude. He was sweet, and he was just like every other person in the world.

"Thanks for tutoring us both," Kaminari said as the session was coming to a close.

"Yeah, you're really saving our asses," Sero agreed.

"Of course, come to me any time," you told them both, smiling as you made to head back to your own room.

"Hey, um, (Y/L/N), can I ask you something?" Kaminari asked.

"Sure. You know how much I love questions," you teased, smiling at him. Then you noticed his expression. "Kami?"

"Will . . . will you-" he chuckled awkwardly, messing with the seam of his pant leg. "Can you read something to me?"

"Yeah, of course," you said. "What is it?"

He handed you the book, and you smiled.

"My dad used to read this to me when I was little. I think that's why I love books so much," you admitted. "That was before . . . well, it doesn't matter now. Come on, we can head down to the common room if you want. Or your room, it doesn't really matter to me."

You had visited Kaminari's room on more than one occasion to return things to him, he tended to be a little forgetful, and he had often left things with you.

Despite the fact that everything you had learned about society told you that you should avoid being alone in a room with a boy, you trusted Kaminari enough to be alone in a room with him.

"I really like to read too," he confessed. "But sometimes my brain doesn't like to let me do it."

"I understand, it's okay," you told him, touching his arm lightly. "Are you sure that you'll be able to sit still long enough for me to get through any of it?"

Kaminari, after spending so much time with you over the last few weeks, had figured out how your voice worked, and he rarely got offended by your tone of voice anymore, which you were thankful for.

"Yeah, I like the sound of your voice, it helps calm me down. I think I might pay attention more if you read it to me."

"Alright, sure, let's go," you said, holding the book to your chest.

You knew this book like the back of your hand, and you had a feeling that Kaminari was telling the truth when he said he would be able to pay attention.

Kaminari followed you into the common room of the dorms, trailing just slightly behind, but he was in front of you the moment Mineta tried to get to you.

It amazed you how fast he could move sometimes, when he really wanted to.

"Get lost Mineta," you said. "I have nothing to say to you."

Mineta opened his mouth but a raised brow from Kaminari had him shutting it and heading to his own room so he could think his pervy thoughts in peace.

"I can't believe I was ever friends with that perv," Kaminari whispered. "I think I owe a lot of the girls apologies."

Kaminari glanced over his shoulder, and you smiled at him, linking your hands together.

You were proud of him, he had really grown lately, and you were glad that he was seeing how uncomfortable he had made the girls.

"I'm proud of you," you told him, and he beamed.

He responded well to praise, and being told that he had done a good job.

"Come on, we'll have to go to bed soon if we don't want Iida to lecture us again," you said, sitting down on one of the couches.

Kaminari sat down next to you, leaning his head on your shoulder as your propped the book open.

You didn't mind the fact that Kaminari was a little clingy, the contact was nice, and he always radiated warmth, though whether that was his normal body temperature or he ran hot because of his quirk, you didn't know.

You started the book off, barely having to look at the words as you read, changing your voice as necessary, stopping every once in a while to explain a word to Kaminari that he didn't understand, or to answer a question that he had.

It was nice, spending time with him like this, simply because he wanted to, not because he was going to fail a subject.

Somehow he had ended up with his head on your thighs, and you had one hand buried in his hair, brushing it away from his face, your fingers carding through it softly.

He was making a content noise in the back of his throat, and you smiled down at him, finishing up a chapter.

"Do you want to go to bed?" you asked softly, not wanting to disturb him too much, he had enough trouble sleeping as it was.

He hummed softly, leaning into your hands, and you smiled down at him softly.

You had never been one for crushes, they had seemed pointless, and there had never been a person who had caught your attention like this.

You had thought about it, of course, what it would be like to be in a relationship, but you had never thought that you would have to worry about it.

Well now you were worrying about it.

That nameless, faceless person that had been with you in those daydreams was starting to look frighteningly like Kaminari.

You had panicked when it had first started happening, until you realized that it would probably fade. You had had a friend in middle school who had a new crush every week, and you had assumed that it would fade with time.

It hadn't. That uneasiness that had popped up around him slowly melted into a nice warmth whenever he was close. You had started to stop worrying about whether he would like this, or hate that, and had started to show your true colors.

He had seemed to like you even more when you had started doing that, and you were glad.

But the only bad thing was that now you were noticing other things. His hands lingered a little longer than necessary when he helped you during training, his smile always seemed brighter when you made him laugh. His eyes always seemed to follow you around the common room, and he sometimes appeared at your side when you walked in.

You weren't sure if you just overthinking things or if he might like you back.

But this wasn't a simple crush anymore. You weren't sure what it was. It was a little too early to be love (even though it was just a rush of chemicals in the brain meant for human survival), but it was way past a simple crush.

Was there another step between a crush and love? Was this going to end with your heart breaking? Was there even a chance that he might like you back?

These were things that you kept in the back of your mind until you were alone in your room. Worrying about them in his presence made him worry about you, and you didn't want him to worry about you if he didn't need to.

"Kami, seriously, you need to go to bed."

"If I do, so do you," he told you, making you chuckle.

"I'll go to bed if you will. You are in my lap after all," you teased, pulling your hands away.

"That's fair," he murmured, stifling a yawn.

"Go to bed Kami," you whispered, standing up as soon as your legs were free.

They had fallen asleep a while ago, but you hadn't had the heart to move him.

"Alright," he mumbled, stumbling towards his dorm room.

You smiled softly, heading for yours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You weren't sure what woke you up hours later. Maybe it was the three glasses of water you had drank before bed, or maybe it was the fact that your brain hated you almost as much as Kaminari's hated him.

You stretched, pulling a hoodie on over the tank top and shorts that you had gone to bed in, heading for the common room.

You weren't going back to bed any time soon, so you might as well get some studying done with a nice cup of tea or something.

You were almost surprised to see Kaminari sitting at the common room table with his books out.

"Denki? What are you doing?" you mumbled, wandering over.

"(Y/L/N)? What are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same thing," you murmured, plopping into the seat next to him.

"Couldn't sleep, my brain went into overdrive the minute I tried to fall asleep."

"I at least got a good four or five hours in," you replied. "But it's Friday night, I should be sleeping in."

"What woke you up?" he asked, laying a hand on your thigh.

Kaminari, you had noticed, liked having his hands on you.

Not in the perverted way you had expected though. He liked having a hand on your thigh or on the small of your back. He liked an arm around your shoulders or his arm linked with yours when you all took class outings. He liked being close to you.

"No idea. It might've been a nightmare," you admitted. "I remember faint flashes, but it might've been something else."

"Are you going to be able to go back to bed?"

"Nah, I'll be up for a good while," you told him, leaning into his shoulder.

"Anything I can do to help?" he asked.

"Can you just . . . talk to me?" you inquired. "I like listening to you talk about things. Calms me down."

"What do you want to know about?"

"Anything. Everything. You."

"Did you know that I have a cat named Marshmellow?"

"What? No," you said, perking up a little bit. You had always been an animal person.

"Yeah. He's the spawn of the devil, but I didn't know that when I named him. All white, pretty blue eyes. Pure fucking evil," Kaminari told you, taking his phone out to show you a photo.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, he absolutely despises me," Kaminari said, handing his phone over to you. "Loves my sister though, so he isn't a complete psychopath."

"He's a cat, can animals even be psychopaths?" you asked, moving your seat closer to his.

"No idea, but it wouldn't surprise me if he is," Kaminari said, chuckling.

"You're right, he is pretty," you murmured, flipping through the photos quickly.

Kaminari hummed, but when you glanced up he was looking at you.

He had that look on his face, the look that he sometimes got when he looked at you. It was one of the reasons you wondered if he liked you or not. He looked like he was in pain when gave you that look.

"Denki?" you inquired softly.

"Hmm?"

"Why are you looking at me like that? Like you're in pain? Like you're hurt?" you asked.

You didn't like the way your voice sounded. That little hint of insecurity snuck in, your voice had that clogged sound it got when you tried not to cry.

You weren't sure whether you could handle his response to that, but you needed to know if being around you caused him pain. You needed to know if there was any chance that he hated being in your presence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Kaminari's POV)

Pain, huh?

Yeah, this was definitely pain, seeing her like this, swaddled in a hoodie he had left in her room accidently a week ago, covering her shorts, making her legs look a mile long.

He had tried to ignore it, tried to ignore the feeling in his chest every time he looked at her, tried to ignore the blatant male pride that came with seeing her draped in his hoodie, but he was only human after all.

Denki, after spending so much time with a girl that didn't tend to pull her punches, he knew how uncomfortable he had made the girls with all of his comments. He now knew how it made them feel when he said some of the things he had.

Denki never wanted her or any of the other girls to feel like that again, and he wanted to ignore some of the things that were running through his head, but she was making it hard when she looked at him like that, when she said his name the way that she just had.

"Denks?" she asked softly, moving to get a better look at his face.

Denki had never had a crush, not a real one anyway. He had had his eyes on Jirou first year, but that had been fleeting.

He was flirty, it was just his nature, but this feeling whenever he looked at her . . . that was completely new on him.

"Denki, are you okay?" she asked, putting her hands on his face lightly, making him look at her.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" Denki asked, placing his hands over hers. "I wasn't sure whether you felt the same way and I didn't want to mess anything up."

"Denki? What are you saying?" she asked, eyes bright with hope as she looked at him, running her thumb over his cheek softly, almost absentmindedly.

"I like you, (Y/F/N), I like you a lot, and this isn't some . . . three A.M. spur of the moment confession, but . . . it kind of is. The point is that you're smart, and all kinds of gorgeous, and there's so many things about you I wish I could list, but words aren't my thing, and I know that I'm rambling, but I really can't stop 'cause I'm terrified of what your response is gonna be and I don't want to fuck anything up and-"

"Denki," she cut in, smiling at him the way she did when she was fondly exasperated with him. "You have nothing to worry about. Absolutely nothing. I like you too."

"Why?"

Even Denki was surprised by the amount of confusion in his own voice.

"Because you're a dork," she stated. "Because you're smart, even if people don't always see it right away. Because you want to be a hero, because you like to make a difference. Because in the end, you're a good guy, when you get past the playboy attitude and shitty pickup lines. Because you're cute and all kinds of soft. Because apparently I have a thing for hyperactive morons with screwed up hair."

"Rude," he muttered, but she smiled at him even wider, and he knew that it was worth it.

"Am I wrong?" she asked softly, swinging her legs around to get closer to him.

"No, but that doesn't mean that I'm happy about it," he mumbled, pouting slightly.

She gave a small giggle, something that rarely happened, and Denki smiled, wide and unburdened.

"So, what do you say about going on a date?" he asked, tucking her hair behind her ear to get a better look at his face.

"I think that's the smartest thing you've ever said to me," she teased.

Denki pouted again and she touched his nose lightly, making it crinkle in response.

"That wasn't a no," she told him, wrapping her arms around his neck softly.

"You know, this looks good on you," he whispered, touching the hem of the hoodie carefully. "And it looks very familiar."

"It does?" She pulled away to look down at it and her eyes went wide. "I didn't even know it was yours. I just threw it on on my way down here. When did you even . . . .?"

"I left in there like a week ago," Denki informed her. "I thought you had just kept it."

"I didn't know it was in there," she admitted. "But I'm not sorry that I'm in it, it's very comfortable."

"We can share custody," he murmured.

"We'll have to," she agreed. "I don't think I can deal with never wearing this again. You actually have good taste in hoodies."

"Why are you so surprised by this?" he asked.

"Because most of the time your style seems all over the place," she replied. "But that's not a bad thing. It makes you unique."

"Normal is overrated."

"A normal sleep schedule is not," she said, standing up. She grabbed his hands, pulling him to his feet. "Come on, we can chill in my room if you want to."

"You aren't nervous about having me in there?" Denki asked.

"No, because I know that if you try anything I can knock you on your ass. I also trust you," she told him, linking their fingers together softly. "Is this okay?"

"More than okay," he breathed, stepping close enough to brush their shoulders together.

He could get used to this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Your POV)

It was a rare day when you and Denki got a day off together. Being heroes was tiring, and schedules were always weird, so when you both got a day off together, you always spent them together.

"You're up early," Denki murmured, slipping in behind you from where you were sitting on the window seat of your apartment.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his face in your neck.

"The baby woke me up," you said.

Said baby padded into the roof, tail high in the air, a smug look on that cute furry face as he jumped up onto the seat, curling up in your lap.

"Marshmellow, don't lay on my book," you muttered, pulling the book out.

"Told you, he's fuckin' evil," Denki murmured, kissing your shoulder lightly.

His shirt was slipping off your shoulder, and Denki treated uncovered skin like a target, regardless.

"How long have you been up?" he asked.

"Only an hour or two, and you looked so peaceful, I felt bad waking you up. I know that you've been getting more action than I have these last few weeks," you murmured, taking one of his hands, kissing his palms softly, leaning back into his warmth.

"I love you," Denki hummed.

"I love you too Denks," you told him.

"Read to me?" he requested, and you smiled.

"Always," you replied, finding your spot in your book again.

[thepatricktreestump]

whatever you say - peter parker imagine

A/N: I don’t normally write nsfw spidey things but my fingers just wouldn’t stop typing so please do forgive me… not any actual smut, just lots of flirting and implications of sexual favors

               It was strange, but for some reason, you found complete comfort in the simplicity that was Peter Parker. He lived in a small apartment with his Aunt May in Forest Hills, went to Midtown High, and at first glance, seemed like your typical teenage boy. May worked as an ER nurse and Peter kept up on his studies, proving to be a straight A student who succeeded not only in school, but in extracurriculars and academic teams as well. He liked science and math, he was really good at building robots, and he thoroughly enjoyed memorizing equations. When he wasn’t acing his tests, he spent his free time building LEGOs and watching Star Wars in his apartment or walking through town and debating between eating pizza or sub sandwiches. He had a messy bedroom cluttered with dirty laundry, an assortment of different computer parts, and countless science textbooks and academic journals. Three months ago, when you first started dating Peter Parker, this is the boy you thought you knew.

               Your life, however, felt like the complete opposite. Being the daughter of Tony Stark, your day to day was far from simple. You lived in Stark Tower with Tony, cooped up on a floor with everything you could ever want or need, a master bedroom with a flat screen television, personal jacuzzi, walk in closet, arcade- you name it, Tony had it. School proved to be a breeze, and you had your MIT valedictorian of a father to thank for that, leaving you plenty of time for your own sort of extracurriculars. Rather than hang out at school and build lousy robots with Peter Parker, you’d much rather go to the lab and work on some high tech AI coding, super suit dynamics, or machine prototypes with your dad and the other avengers. He often urged you not to get too involved for your own safety, but you found yourself growing close with Bruce and Sam, bonding over your shared love for innovation. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t take after your father.

               However, months passed, and the more time you spent with Peter Parker, the more you caught onto the fact that his life might not have been as normal as you initially thought it was. He kept disappearing randomly, ghosting you on planned dates, or not showing up at school. At first you thought he was just nervous, or maybe he didn’t really like you, but upon further investigation, it was evident. His life was just as crazy as yours. Although you thought it was weird that he never bothered telling you he was Spider-Man, and even weirder he didn’t inform you that he previously knew your dad, you almost liked the fact that you could share your secret world of superhero knowledge with him. You found yourselves relating to each other by joking about Steve’s old fashioned manners or Natasha’s resting bitch face. Although, other times also through confiding secret fears or discussing worst possible outcomes.

               Tonight was one of the latter, you and Peter talking on the phone despite the time reading two in the morning, him trying to ease your anxiety. “It’s just been a couple days and Tony’s still not back yet…” you sighed, shrouded by your blankets, the soft glow of your phone illuminating the dark room. “He’s with Sam and he’s probably going to be just fine, but I’m still scared. And I know, I know. I’m not supposed have knowledge about those affiliated with the mission or his location, but sometimes I just can’t help but worry.”

               “It must be hard,” Peter hummed in sympathy. “I’m sorry you have to go through that. May feels the same way about me.”

               You paused for a moment. “I know it’s a horrible thing to think, and I’m probably just psyching myself out but-” your voice caught, shaking your head, closing your eyes. “Sometimes I wonder what if one day he just doesn’t come back.”

               “Hey,” Peter hushed. “Try not to think about that, okay? He’s Iron Man, y/n, he’s fought alien monsters and literal gods, he should be just fine. Mr. Stark never goes down without a fight, he’ll be back. I’m sure of it.”

               “I just can’t sleep not knowing,” you confessed, feeling sorry for dragging Peter into your own personal troubles. “I don’t know, I’m sorry… I’m probably keeping you up, and you have a calc test tomorrow-”

               “No, no, don’t apologize, you’re okay,” your sweet boyfriend insisted. He paused, listening to your heavy breathing. “Do you want me to come over?”

               “W-what?” you asked, confused.

               “I know it’s late but if it would make you feel better, I can come over,” Peter offered. “I’ll just come to your window and you can let me in that way. I can keep you company, you can talk to me, or we can watch a movie to get your mind off things, I don’t know. Only if you want to.”

               “You’d do that for me?” you wondered, growing soft at his words.

               “I just don’t want you to be sad,” he explained. “And I know it’s hard with your dad being gone and all, and sure Pepper’s there, but I know you’ve never really been that close with her, and I just- I don’t know. I feel like you’re lonely, and I want to help.”

               “Yeah, thank you,” you gave a soft smile. “I mean, if you want to, I wouldn’t fight you on it.”

               “Just be sure to disarm FRIDAY before I come,” he reminded. “I don’t need your dad putting bars on your windows the next time I try to visit you like this.”

               “Oh right!” you suddenly came to the realization. “Smart. I’ll go do that now.”

               “Cool, I’ll see you in a few. Don’t miss me too much,” he teased.

“Hey, be safe! No texting and swinging!” you reminded playfully as you hung up and instantly got to work, shedding your sheets and grabbing your laptop, sliding back into bed and working out some coding.

               Just as Tony had previously set up a baby monitor protocol on Peter’s suit, he had likewise set up parental controls through FRIDAY on all of your tower floor. You learned this when you tried to sneak out to a party Tony specifically forbid you from going to, and when you finally reached the elevator doors, FRIDAY locked you inside and you had to wait for Tony to come and get you. Since then, you’d been smart enough to disarm the system anytime you left your room after curfew or got into any other business Tony would obviously disapprove of. Spider-Man sneaking through your window at two in the morning to give you comfort cuddles? Probably something your father would disapprove of.

               Peter tapped twice and waved, you rolling your eyes and laughing, motioning for him to come in before he slid up the glass of your window and crawled through, brushing off his suit and tugging off his mask, smiling once he clearly saw you sitting in bed, wearing one of his hoodies, grinning back at him.

“Hey Spidey,” you beamed, watching as he walked over towards your bed, kissing you softly. He tasted sweet, like candy, and you melted into the kiss, grabbing the back of his head and staying there for a moment before pulling away. He gave the best kisses.

               “Heard someone needed some cheering up,” he whispered, tossing his mask on your night stand as you made grabby hands begging him to crawl into bed with you. He chuckled, giving in and situating himself underneath your covers awkwardly. You laughed alongside him, tugging him closer, pulling the sheets up over both of you, initially wincing at how cold his suit was when you went to wrap your arms around him.

               “You’re freezing, Peter,” you hissed and he chuckled, rolling his eyes.

               “It was windy outside, alright?” he sighed. “Come warm me up.”

               “Well come closer, doofus,” you chuckled. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer to him, your head resting against his shoulder, arm draped over his chest, fingers playing with locks of his hair. Your voice grew to a soft whisper. “Thanks for coming, baby.”

               “Anything for you, love,” he insisted, his hand rubbing soft circles on the small of your back. The room grew quiet, his hands trailing up and down your back, your fingers brushing through his messy brown locks, both of you simply enjoying each other’s company. At some point you both fell asleep, soft snores dissipating throughout the room, holding each other.

                In the morning, Peter begrudgingly convinced himself he had to get up and get ready for school, kissing you on the forehead and reassuring he’d see you at lunch later that day. You groaned yourself, realizing you should probably get up and resume FRIDAY’s commands before Pepper or Happy got suspicious as to why she wasn’t giving them any updates on your morning status. You took a shower and threw on some clothes, getting ready for the school day, smiling once you saw Peter waiting for you by your locker, a Starbucks cup in his hand.

               “What’s this?” you couldn’t help but laugh in surprise.

               “Well I know you were sad last night and again, I just wanted to cheer you up,” he shrugged, and you found it adorable that you had been dating for going on four months now and he still got flustered being around you. “I know you like the pink one with the strawberries and the coconuts, but they were out, so I got you a peach lemonade instead, I hope that’s okay-”

               “It’s wonderful, Peter,” you insisted, taking a sip and smiling fondly at your boyfriend. “Thank you. For everything. Really.”

               “Damn Peter, you’re buying y/n Starbucks now?” Ned approached both of you. “You never buy me Starbucks.”

               “I’m not dating you, Ned,” Peter narrowed his eyes, laughing.

               “You don’t have to kiss me to buy me a cold brew,” Ned sighed.

               “Anyways,” you rolled your eyes at the two boys quarreling. “You ready for that calculus exam?”

               “I studied all night,” Ned smiled. “I’ve got this one down. How about you, Parker? I bet you were up late last night studying too, huh?”

               “Up late last night,” you agreed. “I don’t know about studying though.”

               Ned’s eyes went wide and both you and Peter laughed, the bell ringing and all of you walking to your classes. As they day went by, you started to find your mind lingering back to your dad. As much of an asshole as he was sometimes, and as overbearing and overprotective as he could get, you really did love him and care about him. Others would probably call you lame, but you really did see Tony as one of your best friends. He helped you build amazing inventions, supported you in all your academic endeavors, and did his best to look out for you. Whenever he was gone on missions for longer than a week, you always started to get worried as far as whether or not he would come back.

               Peter could sense your anxiety, trying to lighten your mood with jokes or place a hand on your shoulder as a sign of affection. Afterschool he approached you, clutching onto the straps of his backpack, seeming nervous. “I’m sorry you’ve had such a rough day. I was thinking we could take your mind off of things and you could spend the night at my place tonight?” he offered.

               “Really?” your eyes lit up, thinking how you would love more than anything to get out and do something tonight. Nothing was worse than staying at home and wallowing in your feelings.

“Yeah,” he gave a soft smile, thinking about how adorable you looked when you got excited. “Aunt May is working night shift so maybe, if it’s cool with you, we can grab a pizza, play some video games, and then watch a movie?”

               “Of course,” he insisted. “And we can stop somewhere on the way home to grab some snacks too.”

               “I’ll give Pepper a call and ask if I can stay over tonight, I’ll probably just say I’m with Gwen or something,” you grinned. “She’ll say yes, she usually lets me have free rein whenever Tony’s out of town.”

               “Awesome,” Peter beamed.

               Sure enough, you found the two of you hours later on the floor of his bedroom, eyes fixated on a television screen, playing Mario Kart and chowing down on some pepperoni pizza and cherry slushies. It was practically a ritual for you to hang out with Peter on weekends. As long as he didn’t have an academic decathlon the next morning, Aunt May let you stay as late as you wanted on Fridays. Saturdays you spent fooling around in the lab working on suit modifications, recalibrating certain machinery, or working on new projects. Sundays were official lazy days, both of you usually sleeping in and meeting up midday to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie, usually wrapping up with finishing your weekend homework over facetime. However, on the weekends in which Tony or May were out of the house, the two of you liked to have sleepovers. Usually at Peter’s for the sake of having to navigate FRIDAY’s complicated algorithms.

               It wasn’t like anything particularly steamy happened between the two of you. You had been only dating for a handful of months now, and you were both in high school. Sure, you and Peter liked to cuddle a lot, and hold hands, and play with each other’s hair, but that was simply just affection. And of course, you loved kissing each other, especially when nobody else was around to make fun of you or scold you. Sometimes you found yourself getting into make out sessions, pressed up against each other and finding it hard to catch your breath, hearts racing and desperately clinging onto each other.

Occasionally it would heat up a little bit more than that, some grinding and groping and moaning, and a handful of times Peter’s taken his shirt off, but that was about it. You hadn’t even really reached second base with him yet. And you weren’t complaining, you were glad you were taking things slow. But at this point, you were ready. It just felt like it was time. But you knew this was Peter’s first serious relationship, and you didn’t want to put any pressure on him or rush him into things, so you were complacent with playing Mario Kart and eating pizza in the meantime.

               “I am sooo going to kick your ass,” you warned Peter, pressing down hard on your Wii remote and hitting him with a red shell as your character zoomed past him on the race track, and he simply just laughed.

               “Yeah? Wait till I break out Rainbow Road,” he insisted.

               “Are you actually Satan or do you just hate me?” you narrowed your eyes. “There is no way I’m playing that shit, I think I’d rather forfeit.”

               “It’s all about strategy and focus,” he argued, knocking Luigi out from second place, tailing right behind you, eyes glued to the screen.

               “Strategy? You sound like Ned,” you snorted, drifting a curve and heading towards a shortcut. “That racetrack is nothing but a holographic highway of death.”

               “If we had it your way, we would be playing Moo Moo Meadows on an endless loop,” Peter teased and you gasped playfully.

               “What? It has fun music and I like looking at the cows,” you whined and he laughed, passing you at the last minute and scoring first place, making your jaw drop. “What the hell? How?”

               “What can I say? You’re dating a winner, baby,” he grinned and you rolled your eyes, shaking your head and taking another bite of your pizza.

               “I’m dating a jackass,” you joked. “You can’t let me win just once? Come on, be nice.”

               “I used to do that, and you made fun of me for it,” he pointed out. “Remember the first week we started dating?”

               “You literally used to go in reverse until I caught up with you,” you replied flatly. “It was ridiculous, Peter. It’s not like you made it subtle that I happened to suck at the game or anything.”

               “I just didn’t want you to feel bad,” he reassured, and you chuckled, taking a sip of your slurpee and sighing, leaning your head on his shoulder.

               “So another round or are we going to move onto Smash Bros?” you raised an eyebrow.

               “Up to you,” he shrugged, taking a bite of his pizza as well.

               “How about we play another round of Mario Kart,” you suggested. “But whoever wins gets a prize.”

               “Like what?” he crossed his arms over his chest, looking at the mischievous grin on your face, doubtful.

               “I don’t know, a hoodie or something,” you perused innocently and he let out a breathy laugh.

               “You’ve already stolen all of mine, so I’m not sure I’d have another one to give you quite honestly,” he admitted and you smiled, mind wandering elsewhere.

               “What about…” you pouted your lips, trying to think up something good. “What about if I win, I get to do anything I want to you? And if you win, you get to do anything you want to me. All within reasonable boundaries of course.”

               “Woah,” Peter’s eyes widened. “Is this the part when you tell me you actually work for Hydra and you gut me like a fish or something?”

               “Pshh no that’s ridiculous,” you shook your head.

               “What do you mean ‘do whatever you want to me?’ Huh?” he inquired, mischievously raising an eyebrow. “This seems oddly torture-like.”

               “It’s not going to be torturing,” you stared at him, unamused. “I could never hurt you.”

               “Then what could you possibly want to do to me?” he sighed, looking at you, entertained with your shenanigans, taking a sip of his cherry slushie.

               “I dunno,” you shrugged, stirring your straw in your cup a couple times before casually telling him your suggestion. “Suck your dick I guess.”

               He instantly spat out his slurpee, eyes widening, shocked. “E-excuse me, what?”

               “I said if I win, I’d probably suck your dick I guess,” you shrugged again and he blinked at you, entire face flushed red, stuttering and stunned all at the same time. Your lips curled up in a small smile, thinking of how much you loved to see him like this, a literal blushing virgin. He was adorable, really.

               “Well gosh, I uh…” he looked down at the red icee he had spat all over his t-shirt and then up at you, still at a loss for words. “You don’t really have to beat me at Mario Kart to get my permission to do that, you know.”

               “Yeah, but this way makes it a lot more fun, yes?” you smirked and he swallowed awkwardly, absolutely frazzled.

               “S-sure, I guess you’re right there,” he nodded slowly, still staring blankly at the slushie stains. “How do you know I’m not going to just let you win?”

               “Because…” you drew out, looking at him, still smirking. “If you win, then you get to do whatever you want to me.”

               He paused, turning towards you, breath hitching. “Anything?”

               “Well again, no torture or killing or whatever but-” you clarified and he laughed, rolling his eyes.

               “Yeah, of course, but uh…” he got lost staring at you again and you couldn’t help but wonder what he could possibly be thinking of. “Shit, I’m in.”

               “Really?” you bit down on your lower lip, almost too excited for this bet.

               “Definitely,” he nodded, feeling a bit more confident. “Just give me a second.” He slipped off his t-shirt and you watched intently, noting how built and lean he was. There were certain perks to dating Spider-Man, and it was moments when your boyfriend was sitting in front of you shirtless like this that you were ever most grateful for them.

               “Well shit, Parker,” you laughed to yourself and he stared at you, confused.

               “What? My shirt had slushie all over it,” he insisted and you looked at him, narrowing your eyes.

               “Uh huh…”

               “No for real!”

               “Totally not trying to tease me or anything over here.”

               “Oh whatever! Just start the game.”

               “Give me a second,” you insisted, reaching down and deciding to take it one step further, slipping off your own sweatshirt and revealing your bra underneath, looking at him, anticipating his reaction. Seeing him like this, you wanted to take a picture and capture it forever. He looked breathless, staring at you, his eyes dark and fixated, his lips parted, mesmerized. You couldn’t help but smile. “See something you like, Spidey?”

               “Yeah,” his eyes flickered up to yours, still blushing. “You.”

               Grinning, you leaned over to kiss him, then pulled away, picking up your Wii remote and selecting your favorite racetrack. “Good luck,” you winked.

“Good luck yourself,” he laughed. “Seeing as the only time you ever beat me in Mario Kart is when my controller dies, I think you’re the one who’s going to need it.”

“Fine, to hell with luck,” you rolled your eyes as the countdown started. “Maximum effort.”

               Both of you pressed down hard, zooming through the track, eyes fixated on the screen, cursing and screaming and hooting and hollering as you gained power ups and got knocked off the road by each other. By far, the most intense game of Mario Kart you’ve ever played in your life. Each round you seemed to egg each other on more and more, and although you clearly knew how this was going to end, you couldn’t help but at least try your very best. First place trophy spinning on the screen, Peter’s tongue ran over his lower lip, glancing over at you as nervousness flowered in your chest. What did he have in mind?

               “I don’t think either of us saw that coming,” he stated sarcastically and you looked at him incredulously.

               “Alright then Peter Parker,” you hummed lightheartedly, shutting off the television and setting your controller down, sighing as you leaned back and rest your weight upon your backwards palms. “What do you have planned for me?”

               “Well…” he looked at you shyly, almost hesitant, and you began to grow even more curious. “I know you said ‘anything I wanted’ or whatever, but I want to make this enjoyable for you too, and that sure you’re okay with everything I’m doing.”

               “By all means, don’t stop for me,” you insisted, small smile tugging on the edge of your lips. “If you say or do anything I don’t like, I’ll speak up. Don’t worry.” He hummed softly in acknowledgment, nodding as he looked towards the floor, still nervous, then cleared his throat.

               “I think seeing as your intentions were to seduce me, I guess I have no choice but to go along with the theme,” he rolled his eyes playfully, slowly gaining confidence and crawling closer to you, making your heart beat twice as fast. He kissed you on the lips, soft and sweet and slow, and then pulled away, lowering his face so that his mouth was barely brushing up against your ear, his voice lowering to a whisper. The entire mood of the room shifted, into something more serious. “So, I think you should lay on the bed for me.”

               “Whatever you say,” you smiled sweetly, trying to hide your nervousness and doing as told, getting up and making your way to his bed, laying down on your back, watching as he stood at the end, looking you up and down, licking his lips. You could tell something inside of him changed. He didn’t seem so timid anymore, afraid to suggest something or speak up. His shoulders rolled back, his feet planted solid in the ground, his entire stance exuding confidence. It was different, dominant and alluring, and you couldn’t help but be captivated by it. He was entrancing like this, dark eyes gazing over your body, shirtless, hands dipping down into the waistband of his jeans, brows furrowed, pondering what to do with you.

               “Hands up. Against the bedframe,” he ordered, and you looked at him, trying to analyze what he had in mind as you tentatively did as instructed, positioning your arms above you, against the wooden frame. In what seemed like an instant, he suddenly flicked his wrists outward, webs springing from his fingers and you gasped as the sticky substance pinned your hands above you, a mess of webs fixating them to the wooden plank. You eyes widened and then narrowed.

               “Didn’t know Spidey was into bondage,” you bit down on your lower lip, aroused by his dominance and playfulness all the same.

               “Didn’t know you could be so naughty,” he quipped back and you blushed, trying to look away, shy.

               “Nuh uh, none of that,” he argued with a chuckle, crawling on top of you and raising your face to look at him with one of his hands, making your eyes meet. “If I do recall correctly, you were offering to suck me off a moment earlier. Seemed pretty eager too.”

               “Still am if that’s what you fancy, Peter,” you suggested, eyes twinkling with a glint of naughtiness, but he just shook his head, smiling.

               “I think I have other plans for you tonight,” he insisted, kissing you again this time, but rougher, his tongue sliding in between your lips and up against your own, then retreating to have his teeth catch your lower lip, dragging it between them before he pulled away, devilish smirk on his face.

               “Mind filling me in on the agenda?” you asked with a breathy voice, fluttering your eyelids and parting your lips, bucking your hips up to meet his.

               “It involves your pants off, and my head between your legs, and you moaning my name,” his eyes flickered up to meet yours. “And then me fucking you into this bed until those moans turn into screams.”

               “Holy fuck,” you whispered, eyes glazed over, staring at him, practically speechless.

               “Sound good to you, sweetheart?” he hummed, fingers tracing over your stomach, playing with the hem of your waistband.

               “Shit…” you laughed to yourself quietly, eyes still fixated on him, feeling unbelievably flustered. “I think I ought to up the ante on Mario Kart wins a whole lot more from now on.”

[prouvaireafterdark]

Eraser Room

Happy Birthday, @spaceskam!!! 🎉Here’s a Michael Sanders AU fic, set after Staring in the Blackness at Some Distant Star. I hope it’s the fluffy teen Malex content you were looking for! 💜

Also on AO3!

***

A folded piece of paper lands on Alex’s desk halfway through his math test. He looks up to see Michael slinging his backpack over his shoulder, his curls bouncing as he strolls toward the front of the room.

Michael lingers to ask Mr. Valdez a question after he hands in his test and Alex takes advantage of the distraction to unfold the note.

eraser room?

Alex swallows roughly as he stares at Michael’s message, those two little words and all they imply making heat pool in his gut. He hides the note in his pocket as deftly as he can and looks up to find Michael’s eyes on him, a satisfied little grin on his face as he walks out the door into the hall.

“Fuck,” Alex whispers to himself, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

He rushes the last section and is out of his seat in no time.

The second Alex slips into the Eraser Room, Michael crowds him up against the door, pushing into his space until Alex can feel his lips brush against his mouth, soft and a little wet like Michael’s just licked them. A surprised noise slips from Alex’s mouth, but he melts into Michael’s touch easy as anything.

Alex lets his messenger bag slip off his shoulder and thud carelessly against the ground when Michael deepens the kiss, his tongue sliding over Alex’s in a way that makes him feel hot all over. His hands desperately seek out Michael’s hips, reeling him in closer until their bodies are flush against each other.

He can feel Michael’s thumb pressing gently into the underside of his jaw as he changes the angle, rising up on his toes and guiding Alex’s head back until it’s resting on the solid door behind him. Alex smiles, a wave of affection overtaking him, and kisses Michael back that much harder.

Alex drifts for a while, barely aware of anything but the warm press of Michael’s mouth against his own, until Michael pulls away from him with a soft, slick sound and slides his palms down his chest to settle on his waist. Alex pants into the space between them, head still spinning as he opens his eyes.

Michael’s cheeks are flushed and his kiss-bitten lips are still so, so tempting.

“Hi,” Michael says, smiling at him dazedly like he’s the one who just got shoved up against a door and kissed to within an inch of his life.

“Hey,” Alex laughs a little breathlessly and swoops in for another peck, just because he can.

It’s quick, just a short press of their lips, but Michael is beaming at him all the same when Alex pulls away, his eyes going soft and intense the way they always do when they’re wrapped up in each other like this. They track a zigzagging path across Alex’s face like Michael is trying to commit his features to memory and Alex can’t hide the color darkening his cheeks.

“What?” Alex asks a little self-consciously.

“Hm?” Michael asks, tilting his head adorably.

“You’re staring at me,” Alex accuses lightly.

“I missed you,” Michael confesses with a shrug. His thumb slips under the hem of Alex’s black t-shirt to rub against the sensitive skin of his hip, making Alex shiver. Michael’s smile goes a little smug at that, his thumb pressing into his skin a little more firmly.

“You saw me on Friday,” Alex points out.

“Yeah, a whole weekend ago,” Michael complains. “One day without you is bad enough, but two? I hope you appreciate the restraint I’m showing right now.”

Alex snorts at that. “Is that what you call this?” he asks incredulously, pressing his hips forward until he feels Michael half-hard against him. “Restraint?”

“Your pants are still on, aren’t they?” Michael counters, tucking his fingers pointedly into Alex’s belt loops.

“Touché,” Alex says, and then they’re kissing again, slow and wet and so fucking perfect Alex feels like he might be seconds away from melting into a puddle. For all his teasing, he’s missed Michael too.

Michael pulls away from him a long minute later, but it takes a second for Alex to realize he’s asked him something.

“What?” he asks intelligently.

Michael laughs fondly at him and repeats himself. “I asked how your camping trip went.”

“Oh,” Alex says, the fog slowly clearing from his mind. “Um, well, my dad went on his, like, five millionth rant about immigrants stealing jobs and gay people corrupting the American youth, so not great.”

“Ugh,” Michael grimaces. “What a piece of shit.”

“Yeah. Greg was there though, so he was more interested in grilling him about the Navy than bothering me too much,” Alex continues.

“Oh, he’s back?” Michael asks.

“Mhmm,” Alex says. “He’s on leave, so he’ll be staying with us until he ships out next weekend.”

“Does that mean you can’t come to Isobel’s thing later?” Michael pouts.

“Isobel’s having a thing?” Alex asks, this being the first time he’s hearing about it.

“Yeah, she planned it this weekend” Michael nods. “The Evanses’ll be out late at some country club thing, so she’s inviting some people over for something low-key.”

“Who’s going?” Alex asks. He likes Isobel—a lot, actually—but he doesn’t really like her friends.

Michael shrugs. “Didn’t ask,” he says. “Not Valenti though, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Hmm,” Alex hums thoughtfully.

“Wanna be my date?” Michael asks after a minute, sliding his arms around Alex’s shoulders to hang on his neck a little, and then, to sweeten the deal, adds, “We can eat her bougie snacks and hook up in the bathroom.”

“So romantic,” Alex teases, tightening his arms around Michael’s waist. Michael’s grin widens.

“Pretty sure there’s a scented candle in there I can light to set the mood for you if you want,” he says, voice dipping low and seductive.

“You’re unbelievable,” Alex laughs, shaking his head.

“You love me,” Michael says, confidence shining through in his voice.

“I do,” Alex agrees, and leans in for a kiss. Michael hums happily against his mouth and Alex has maybe never loved him more.

“So, is that a yes?” Michael asks when they part.

“Of course it’s a yes,” Alex answers immediately. “I saw Greg all weekend, he’ll get over it if I hang out with you for a few hours.”

“Perfect,” Michael smiles. “I’ll pick you up at eight.”

Just as Alex is angling for another kiss, the bell rings in the hall, signaling the end of the period. The both of them groan in tandem before reluctantly pulling away to pick up their belongings.

“Fuck Social Studies,” Alex complains aloud, thinking of their next period class. “Who even cares what happened on this stupid planet anyway?”

“Right?” Michael says, eyes wide and impassioned. “We should just stay here, honestly.”

“We have a quiz on Wednesday, though,” Alex says.

“So?”

“So not all of us are super geniuses who don’t need the review day,” Alex says, pecking Michael on the cheek to curb his disappointment. “Come on, we’re gonna be late.”

Alex turns around to reach for the door then, and Michael immediately bursts into giggles.

“Oh shit,” he says, and Alex turns to look over his shoulder.

“What?” he asks, taking in the look of guilty amusement on Michael’s face.

“Babe, you’ve got chalk dust all over your back,” he says.

Alex sighs. He takes a closer look at the door in front of him and sure enough there’s an Alex-shaped smudge in the layer of chalk dust covering the door where Michael shoved him up against it.

“Weird,” Alex comments dryly, shooting another look over his shoulder. “Wonder how that happened?”

“Sorry?” Michael apologizes.

Alex tries to wipe the dust off, but he can’t quite reach most of his back.

“Can you help me get it off?” Alex asks eventually.

“Yeah, hang on,” Michael says.

Alex feels his hands on him a second later, smoothing over the fabric in a way Alex is pretty sure is just rubbing the chalk dust in more.

When he says as much, Michael hums and says, “Mm, might be right about that. Guess you’ll have to take it off?”

“Michael,” Alex laughs, but lets Michael tug his shirt over his head anyway.

Michael leans forward to press a kiss to the back of Alex’s bare shoulder before he shakes his shirt out, beating the white powder from the fabric. He hands it back to Alex when he’s done, but before Alex can get dressed again Michael stops him.

“Wait, no, it’s in your hair too,” Michael says, burying his fingers in Alex’s hair and shaking the chalk dust out.

It feels nice—Michael’s hands on him always do—but then Michael tugs a little on the ends and Alex lets out a surprised moan, that nice, pleasant feeling shifting into something hot and needy in an instant.

“God, what is this? Are you trying to get me hard right now?” he asks, turning his head to look at Michael as much as he can with Michael gripping his hair.

“Is it working?” Michael asks, hooking his chin over Alex’s shoulder and scraping his blunt nails gently across his scalp.

“We have class,” Alex whines, desperately clinging to his one sensible brain cell. He wants Michael—has wanted him since he read his note—but they just don’t have enough time to fool around right now.

“Yeah, but it’s been a while since I went down on you in here,” Michael says, freeing himself from Alex’s hair to wrap his arms around Alex’s front. “Or at all, to be honest,” he adds, his fingers teasing along the waistband of Alex’s jeans.

“It’s been four days,” Alex points out.

“Exactly,” Michael says.

Alex shakes his head before he says, “You’re a terrible influence, Michael Sanders.”

He can feel Michael grin against the side of his neck for a moment before he opens his mouth again.

“Haven’t you heard? Corrupting the American youth is item one on the Gay Agenda, Alex. I really don’t have a choice here,” Michael deadpans.

Alex bursts out into incredulous laughter.

“Okay, one: you’re not even gay, and two: fuck you,” Alex laughs.

“A technicality,” Michael says before leaning in close to Alex’s ear to add, “And only if you ask me nicely.”

Alex groans and turns around to kiss Michael once on the mouth. Michael follows after him when he pulls away, but Alex presses his finger to Michael’s lips to stop him.

“Save it for the party,” he says, and ignores Michael’s pout to throw his shirt back on. There’s a little bit of chalk still on it, but it’s subtle enough that no one should notice.

“If you insist,” Michael sighs dramatically, but he’s smiling as he lifts his backpack off the floor and slings it across his shoulder.

The halls are already empty as they slip out of the Eraser Room, the bell seconds from ringing in the next period, but when Michael reaches for Alex’s hand and threads their fingers together, Alex can’t find it in himself to rush.

[cockasinthebird]

okay!!!! so!!! i guess it’s kind of a prompt, but like steve goes to an art college thing. and he’s suuuper talented, one of the best in his class. and the prof. says that they have a guest to come in for some modelling. and steve is super excite ‘cause he loves doing projects like this. and then the model comes in, covered in a bathrobe, it’s billy. he goes to sit on the stool at the front. drops the robe, he’s completely nude. looks steve directly in the eye and winks! just an idea i had! -🎨

Dear anon, !!!!!!! This took SO LONG, but then again I was flagged and unavailable for like two weeks, and I did not write at all in that time, but as I woke up today to find myself back to normal, I quickly finished what was left, and now 11 pages long, I will post some of it here, then link the rest on my AO3!

My mind went off on this, and I hope it’s as good as I believe, especially what with all the teasing I’ve been doing!

Now, enjoy~

-

An arts scholarship is not something everyone can brag about, well, almost everyone, or so Steve thought when he got approved for one after his high school teacher encouraged him to apply.

He’s not dumb, or unintelligent, as most people around him will say - the words on the pages just don’t connect right, as if he can’t see what any other person might perceive, and it is reflected on his grades. Math is… fine, the only issue there is a general unwillingness to learn, because rather than doing algebra and figuring out trigonometry, Steve’s talents lie in the stroke of a brush, in the graphite of a pencil, in the black of charcoal.

His mother always encouraged him with a loving hand and a wondrous appreciation for every single little drawing Steve came up with as a child, fueling this intense fire inside of him that only felt relief against paper or canvas. She showered him in materials; endless chalk, a rainbow of watercolors, acrylics, oil pastels, pencils in all shapes and hues, stacks of papers, piles of canvas, even let him paint the walls of his bedroom as far as he could reach.

His father… simply stood and scowled in the doorway. He’s old fashioned, wanted an heir to the Harrington Construction Empire his own father built, not some… artistic little fairy. Steve stopped counting how many of his parents' fights were about him years ago.

And now he’s here, in California, attending college of all things, surrounded by students who, just like him, have devoted their entire lives to the arts. He feels less special, less talented, amongst his peers, where it seems that a third of them have arrived on scholarships, too.

But his teacher, Mr Reynolds, an old man with a long goatee and suspenders, always assures Steve that he is, without a doubt, the star of the class. That he will go far in his life, become world renowned, famous for his works, that in the future art classes will teach about his techniques and colors and soul.

Steve likes to believe it; spends his spare time thinking about what painting of his would be displayed in museums, what the critics will say, what he will wear to the reveal party, what his speech will sound like.

All those thoughts course through his overactive mind whenever he looks at a blank surface, just waiting, begging to be filled with his inspired soul. Perhaps he’s a bit too immodest and vain and arrogant, but he doesn’t really put up a fight against those ideals; never bothered trying to be humble about what is so obvious to any eye, and when every teacher has never offered up anything besides praise, is he to believe they’re all liars?

He looks around at his classmates as they set up in the arranged circle surrounding a single stool in the middle. They all smile at him, greetings exchanged as always, the friendliness of people who you’ve had a few beers with, attended some parties and gatherings together, but never really gotten to know past the surface.

Steve’s just not as social as he used to be, and moving halfway across the country didn’t really help that either. Something changed in him during the last year of high school, but honestly he can’t complain. He goes whenever invited, otherwise he keeps to himself, focuses on his studies, does his homework, a scholarship can only get you so far, and if his grades dip too low, it’s bye bye future.

“All on time for once! Impressive!” Reynolds says with a cheery tone, clasping his hands together with a wide smile as he moves to the center of the classroom. “For today’s live figure drawing practice, we’ll continue working with models and volunteers from all parts of life, and today I’ve managed to convince a hard working, blue collar of a man! William Hargrove, you may take the stage!”

Everyone turns to the stained room divider over in a solitude corner, the usual spot where their models change in and out of clothes and robes, and from behind steps a man dressed in a dark gray bathrobe, adorned with the most gorgeous crown of golden curls, his stubble is scruffy with a more accentuated mustache, and his eyes are of the clearest blue waters Steve has ever seen before.

His breathing pauses for just a moment as he stares at the broad shouldered stranger, caught in a trance - a willing subject to be ensnared by this man’s confidence, walking like he owns the room. Steve doesn’t even realise that he’s staring till he’s met with those heavenly eyes.

Who then winks at him, grin mischievous and aware of what thoughts surge forth in his presence.

Steve’s heart beats like a drum, ramming against his ribs, a heated flush rushing up to tint his ears red, spilling into his cheeks. He can’t help but whip his head back towards his easel with a stare that could burn a hole in the pages before him, restraining himself from gawking further, trying to calm down some.

It’s not that he hasn’t paid attention to other guys in the past, it’s just that he hasn’t cared for that kind of stuff before. Even when he was dating Nancy back in high school he didn’t care enough. But now? This guy? This man? 

Nothing more than one simple, flirty look, and Steve’s interest tiptoes over the line of professional into personal, dipping in, testing the waters there.

And when he reaches the middle of the circle, everyone here far too interested in seeing what he’s hiding beneath the robe, he slowly slips it off, clearly revelling in all the attention if the smile he carries is any indication.

Unfortunately, much to Steve’s inconvenience, this William Hargrove is ripped. Jaw strong like a cliffside, biceps akin to perfectly carved marble, formidable pecs covered in chest hair lush like a forest that spreads down abs like rolling hills, Steve’s eyes travels smooth like a stream across the landscape of William’s body, down to his-

He refocuses on the easel in front of him, invitingly barren and pleading for him to ruin the stillness with his own inappropriate curiosity.

“Thank you once again for agreeing to this, Mister Hargrove. You may use this stool here to pose with, or without, it is entirely up to whatever you’re most comfortable with,” Reynolds explains, unhooking a thumb from where he fiddles with his suspenders to accept the robe that William has removed.

“Yes sir,” sounds the response, his voice husky and charming, throaty from years of use.

It tugs further at Steve’s intrigue, oh to hear him laugh, read a book aloud, sing along to whatever reckless music he listens to, probably rock or something abrasive. Steve’s wild imagination goes through it all in the matter of seconds, just to be pulled back when his teacher speaks again,

“We’ll be taking things a bit slow today, six poses with 10 minutes each, let you all get a good feel for Mr Hargrove’s body, really focus and pay attention to how the shadows fall.”

Steve’s convinced the way he swallows hard must be audible, the lump in his throat making a loud splash in the pool of boiling nerves gathered in his stomach, breaking surface tension and stirring up thoughts he hasn’t really bothered with for months, if not a year by now.

Yet here’s this stranger with such undeniable magnetism, taking a seat, naked on a stool, aiming straight at Steve, staring at Steve, smirking at Steve.

Who nervously rakes fingers through his hair, pushing it back and away as to more clearly see his model, noticing how the muscles flex and tense as Hargrove decides on his first pose. The human body is phenomenal to look at, nothing in the world deserves grander appreciation than it, and it’s easy for Steve to convince himself that that’s what this is, an accentuated form of gratitude for the very same shape that Michelangelo used for his David.

Finally William gets settled, on the edge of his seat, one foot on the ground, the other up on the bar between the legs of the stool, elbow raised and bent to bring a hand behind his head, the other relaxed on his thigh. Exposed and raw and muscular and brilliant.

Steve could truly go on and on and on about this Adonis posed all nude before him, face turned slightly to the side, but it is unquestionably clear that the rest of him is aimed directly at where Steve sits, and he doesn’t realise he’s staring again till Reynolds says,

“Ten minutes, everyone! You may begin!”

Keep reading on AO3

[collectivefandomstuff]

Hey mom! I’m stressed at 1am, any advice? I’m having trouble in school via studying sometimes it feels like we’re going from 0 to 100. And I need better study habits, do you have any advice? Bc sometimes it feels like I’m so afraid of failure that if I do study to my full potential (sounds weird) I feel like I loose the excuse of saying oh I got a bad score bc I goofed off. Like if I actually do all my effort to study and do bad, then is there something wrong with me??

(A/N: this answer is so long I almost feel ashamed to post it. I’m very sorry everyone. Anyway, if you’re looking for the concrete tips they’re at the end :) )

Hey :)

This doesn’t sound weird at all because I’m the exact same way. This way of thinking is actually more common than you’d think, and is often a part of the cognitive profile of perfectionism (btw, perfectionism isn’t that apt a name but I digress. Also, this way of thinking doesn’t mean you’re a perfectionist.). Anyway, I know a bunch of people who’ve experienced this, and the common factor isn’t fear of failure, but rather what it is you think you’re failing at. For example, I once told my therapist that I was super stressed over a bunch of stuff and I also had a paper I had to get done, and he asked me what would happen if I didn’t turn it in on time and I was like “academically? nothing. mentally? I wouldn’t be me anymore.” And that’s the stitch.

The people I know who struggle with this are often (though not exclusively) girls, and often people who’re pretty smart. They spent their childhood being told over and over that they were gifted, intelligent, and good at school. And back then, that was easy to live up to. They danced through the first few years of school without any issue, and enjoyed it a lot. They did their homework, understood stuff, and were usually “good kids”.

Now, we’re always growing and re-shaping our sense of self, but the foundations are lain when we’re children. So, when people around you keep identifying you as a smart/good student, then we start identifying ourselves like that too. Especially if it is being reinforced by your actual achievements. And then, suddenly, getting good grades isn’t about doing well or working hard, it’s about identity. It’s about who you are at your core. Thus, the stakes become infinitely higher. If you fail at a math test that you really studied for, then that means that you don’t have what it takes, and that means you are no longer yourself- the intelligent kid who’s good at school. A test might not be that anxiety-inducing, but losing your whole sense of self is. So, in that case procastination makes a lot of sense, because as long as you don’t fail while doing your best then you never put your identity on the line.

(This also applies if failing at school has become synonymous with being a failure, i.e. if you’ve been taught that doing well academically is the only way to be a successful/useful person in society, or if academic success has merged with the idea of a happy future so it feels like failing autmatically leads to an unhappy life. Essentially, mental structures that lead to a misconception of the stakes involved in a single exam/paper/task.)

That said, I do have some more practical things to say here. First off, sometimes we’re in a situation where we can’t do our best and that’s okay. I’ve failed exams, tests, papers, you name it and I still have my degree in the end. It’s never the end all of things.

Now, my own biggest freak out like this came when I started uni. My first paper I went completely insane and procrastinated like crazy, and I failed. And then the though crept in “what if I can’t do this? What if this is it. I can’t handle higher education, even if I try my hardest?” The anxiety was... big bad and mad.

I should say for this next part that my therapist once told me that I have a strangely aggressive approach to handling anxiety. Moving on. I sat down and said to myself “what is worse, to try my hardest and fail or half-ass it and never be able to live the life I want?” Since the answer was pretty obvious, I got to it. I had about 5 weeks until the next exam, and I sat down and planned every single hour until then. I studied for that damn test like I’ve never studied before, and whenever I felt anxious I would tell it to FUCK OFF and focus on the task I had planned. I didn’t allow myself to think beyond that first planning session, I just did what was next on the agenda. What am I supposed to do right now? read these 10 pages? Ok.

I’ve had two exams during my studies where I failed (the second due to the situation I was in) and ended up in this spiral. And here’s the funny thing: I have a small number of courses in uni where I got a higher grade. They include 1) courses that I found extremly interesting and 2) those two courses.

Okay! I know this is already so fucking long but I want to give you some actual tips too. Number one is obviously to plan. Take a whole day, sit down and plan the next month. Consider all your assignments, when they’re due, what you need to do to study, how long that’ll take and when that is done most efficiently. Plan everything in your calendar. Give yourself enough time for each task that you can do it even if you’re not super super focused. Do not study outside these hours. When you’re done for the day you’re done for the day. This way, there’s a clear, reachable end to each study session and you don’t feel as compelled to postpone tasks. When you sit down to study, don’t worry about the other stuff you have to do, or other subjects that you haven’t done yet. They’re all in the plan, all you have to do is what is in front of you. As long as you keep doing that you’ll make it. (If the plan goes to shit for some reason, take a day to plan a make a new one. It happens).

Some things to consider:

Different subjects are best studied in different ways. I used to set aside 15-30 minutes every day in high school for Italian, where I’d sit down and read the chapter we were working on out loud. I didn’t even focus that hard, I just did it every day- the chapter and the glossary. I STILL remember some sentences from that book. Math is best done in longer stretches, but not too long. 1-2 hours preferably. Think about how YOU work. Do you best read a textbook in one go or in increments? Do you learn better in a coffee-shop or your room? Silence? Music? This can also change depending on your subject. Plan accordingly.

For reading, time your reading speed for the book. Read a page at normal speed and clock it, then multiply that by the pages you need to read to see how much time you’ll have to plan for. Round up to give yourself room for spacing out.

Plan for breaks. Think about your normal need for it, but the uni standard is 15 minutes for every 45, making an even hour. Find a break activity that’s has a specific end, for example making some more tea/coffee and snacks and doing some stretches, or maybe playing one race in mario kart. Avoid things that you can get stuck doing beyond the alotted break time.

Buffers. For every five hours or so, plan one hour of buffer time. This is time that you can use if something takes longer than expected. If you do everything as planned, this is surprise free time! :D If you have a long study session, plan 30 minute buffers every two or three hours to be used for extra breaks and to keep panic at bay. Buffers will save your life.

Make a chart with different tasks and have little boxes that you get to fill in with fun colours when you’re done. If you have to read 100 pages, do a bar with ten boxes, that way you can see your progress visually.

Plan for days/evenings that are free. Plan what you’re going to do those days, like “movie night with X”, “play videogames and eat cupcakes”, “take a long bath and read a good book”. That way, you use your free time well and can use those days and evenings as incentive.

Prioritize your work. If you have too much to do, make a list of what’s most to least important and focus on doing the important stuff first. This includes studying tasks. What’s more important, reading that text for the third time or really understanding integrals?

Drink lots of water and eat sugar. It’s brain food. I usually bake before an intense week. That way when I feel myself going down I can go get a cupcake instead of taking time to make something to eat, or worse- try to soldier through which never works.

I hope this helped a little at least :) Good Luck! I believe in you! 💙💜

[sifeng]

Love and Redemption: Some Thoughts and a Comparison with Ashes of Love

So, I’ve been watching Love and Redemption (琉璃) and while there are some visible faults, I also quite like some plot points and characters. So here are some of my thoughts and also, if your an Ashes of Love fan I totally recommend you check this drama out! The themes are similar, the character setups are similar, the worlds are similar too. 

I’ve just finished the 35th episode, and I’ve gotten to a point where a flower creature of sorts has been forced to become Ling Long 2.0. I actually really like this idea because it shows that a lot of people become evil because of the people they are around, not because they are naturally evil, their personality is naturally cruel or anything else of the sort. Ling Long grew up around “orthodox” people that, while also imperfect, weren’t sadistic like Wu Tong. Because of that she became a person that liked to fight for peace and removal of evil from the world. However, when her exact same personality was placed in a different atmosphere without previous memories she became just as sadistic and cruel as the people around her. I think that actually fits super well with the overall theme of this drama, which is that good and bad aren’t black and white. Even a person who is “good” in the subjective sense of that term can just as easily be “evil” if placed in a different growth environment. Honestly I find it so interesting that Ling Long went from A Zhu to A Zi (Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils reference) in like one episode. 

A Comparison

When I first started liking cdramas, one of my first favorites was Ashes of Love (香蜜沉沉烬如霜), but I actually like this drama more. First of all, I think the pacing is better. The beginning of AoL was a little draggy now that I think about it, and Jin Mi only began to really show her feelings for Xu Feng around episode 30 (and it wasn’t even Jin Mi liking Xu Feng it was Saintess liking the King). In comparison, in Love and Redemption, we see from the very start that Xuanji likes Sifeng in a different manner then she likes, for example, Minyan, thus not only making it easier to ship them, but also being able to get to the tragic elements of the story faster. The CGI in Love and Redemption is simply amazing, beats 99% of cdramas honestly. I wish the cinematography was a little better because with this level of CGI, it truly deserves better camerawork. 

Also, I dislike when people call Xuanji stupid, because while in the beginning she is a little dumb, she really isn’t as bad as some other characters out there. She’s like what 20? And she’s never left home or her training place in her life. Why would anyone expect her not to make trouble? Or get in trouble? That’s like teaching how to memorize all the math formulas in the world, but not teaching you how to use them and then blaming you for not being able to apply them. I haven’t gotten to the really tragic part where Xuanji and Sifeng get separated, but so far I like her more than Jin Mi honestly. Xuanji might not be the smartest person, but I love how trustworthy she is of her friends and how high she holds her friendships. Unlike so many of the adults in this series, she actually uses logic to try to understand problems not just problematic and contradictory pieces evidence. Like when Minyan is accused of being betraying their sect, she doesn’t just go “oh there’s ‘evidence’? Then he must be guilty”, she actually thinks about his character and personality and how illogical it would be if he actually betrayed them. 

I also like Sifeng more than Xu Feng. When he was being accused of being a demon, he managed to bring up inarguable pieces of evidence that clearly proved he was not a demon, or at least not a problematic one instead of just going like “you should believe me because I’m so great!” (not that Xu Feng did that, but he did use ethos instead of logos, though, both apparently don’t work if you’re a male lead in a tragic xianxia). The tragedy of his character is done so well honestly. He died for Xuanji in 9 lifetimes. NINE. Please give him a happy ending. (Okay but I really dislike his second hairstyle with the two strings of hair hanging out and also Teng She’s hairstyle. Why can’t they just tuck that piece of hair in? It makes me feel so annoyed for some reason.)

No one likes Hao Chen, and I’m glad. He hates people manipulating Xuanji, but he manipulates her all the time. I do agree that if Xuanji is happy without her six senses, she shouldn’t be forced to search for them, but she isn’t happy and she wants to search for them. So why should anyone who actually likes her try to prevent that? But I actually think his character is written relatively well. As the ruler (or second in command?) of the heavenly realm, he has to put matters in front of romance, though that doesn’t mean he has to manipulate her. I understand why he does what he does and I don’t think his character is as illogical as Wu Tong, but yeah, I definitely don’t agree with what he does. In comparison, Run Yu is truly quite likable. He does try to keep Jin Mi to himself instead of letting her be happy, but overall his story is written really well and evokes our sympathy.

Oh and when it comes to friendships I also prefer the ones in Love and Redemption. First of all, it’s not just Xuanji and Sifeng who are cute together, I like that Sifeng is friends with Ling Long and Minyan as well, and they also become friends with Yanran (or Xiao Yinhua) and Ruoyu as well (though they could’ve avoided some tragedy if they hadn’t befriended him). I don’t know why, but I’m really excited to see what tragedy our OTP goes through later on, because I’ve seen the gifsets on Tumblr and boy am I excited for some tragedy!

But one thing that is better about AoL is definitely the acting. I think Cheng Yi and Yuan Bingyan did pretty good here, especially Cheng Yi, but Yang Zi, Deng Lun and Luo Yunxi (especially Yang Zi and Luo Yunxi) are more experienced and thus obviously better, especially when it comes to really emotional scenes. 

FInal Thoughts

One problem I have with Love and Redemption, at least so far, is that the evil demons have no motivations to be as evil as they are. I’m pretty sure I’ll get a reason, but so far I have to say that they aren’t really well done characters in that sense. Especially Wu Tong. Like this guy has no backstory whatsoever, but is extremely cruel and sadistic from the first second we meet him. Maybe he’s like really just insane or something, but his whole “sympathy story” for why he joined the demons makes zero sense. He wanted to murder someone because him cheating gets revealed and then gets mad that the father of the person he tried to kill wants to get revenge. His story also contains two (as of so far) unexplained plot holes: 1. why every single sect decided to chase after him and 2. why he managed to escape death despite a bunch of skilled martial artists running after him for like a really long time. 

Lastly, I like the fact that the orthodox people aren’t exactly “evil” but their goodness is what makes them annoying. They don’t mean harm when they tried to test if Sifeng was a demon or if Minyan is a betrayer, they truly are thinking for the overall good, but their constant paranoia and need to do “what is right” and not “what makes sense” is truly what makes them unbearable. They sometimes throw away all logic for love, or sacrifice their own daughter in order to “do what’s right” instead of actually thinking of a method to not only save the daughter and keep the world at peace. It’s because of their goodness that they are able to be manipulated into idiocracy by Li Ze Palace. 

Oh and one last thought. I don’t know if it’s on purpose, but the lack of people in the heavenly realm is really interesting. Like, maybe the producers didn’t have enough money, or shots of the heavenly realm with more than like ten people (not in war) don’t exist in the book either, but it creates the image that the realm is super empty. The human realm, despite all its faults and cruelties, feels so much more alive and full of life in comparison to the boring and cold looking heavenly realm. 

[danielletinybruiser]

The Good Fight New York/New Jersey Open 7/31/21

I competed yesterday! And I actually feel really good about it! I'm a writer, so, writing about my experiences helps me really grasp them and process them and such, so, here goes! 

And also: as always, when I compete, it's in basically no-stakes tournaments for anybody. I'm not going to big competitions, I'm just doing this as a hobby and going to light fires under my butt and test my skills as they are in the moment. So, I take it seriously, but I don't go into this with delusions of grandeur! I do not think I am the next Danielle Kelly.

(Content warning for weight here, I talk about it a fair bit!)

I think I prepared pretty well this time around! I trained *a lot* and took conditioning very seriously. I also had a funny thing with weight: since getting my (cough, cough, under my breath) Peleton - I've been riding a lot and running a ton using the app. I sure thought I was being a genius doing frequent two-a-day cardio workouts, thinking "oh yeah, I'll be 125 no problem." Instead, obviously, I gained some muscle weight from doing tons of high intensity interval workouts. It's a good thing! I'm so much stronger than I was, walking now at 134-137, and my cardio is very solid. But it did mean having to be very conscious of weight to ensure I came in at 135 on Saturday.

Again, this should actually be ideal for this level of competition (read: LOW), because it means my walking weight and competition weight are super nice and close (I used to be around 126-129 and still competed at 135, thanks to the other major tournament I do having nothing between 120 and 135), and I feel so much more durable.

An action shot! Thanks for reading so far! Lol

So, I was strict with my diet for the last month (I usually am, this just meant no cheat days for a couple of weeks, really), and did weigh-ins periodically, then every day in the last week. It also meant doing a little bit of math and knowing exactly what kind of food I could have in the morning, and what was safe to do in terms of sweating just in case. It was good to know, because that came in handy!

Yesterday morning, I woke up at 136.2 (you get a 1lb allowance, so I was only .2 over). I did a shorty 15 minute HIIT workout so I could have a tiny bit of food and fluid, being very careful to not dehydrate or do anything stupid. I'm not going to cut weight for this, lol, but it would be truly ridiculous for me, at my height (5'5") and body composition (muscular, but not JACKED), to have to go in at 145 for being, you know, .2 over.

The nice side effect of a short workout in the morning was helping my nerves a little bit (they were BAD), so at least that helped me breathe. I don't know if I've ever been this anxious before competing before, and I'm not sure exactly why — I know there are no stakes besides my pride, there's no money on the line, this isn't my career! This is my hobby, for fuck's sake, so I don't know why my body interpreted "lets compete" as "we are going to WAR and we might DIE," but there it was! I was scared! Brains are stupid!

We got a tiny bit lost on the way, but it was ok because things were running behind at the tournament. No problem at all. I made weight (135.6) and started to warm up. The venue had plenty of extra space on a turf field to warm up, and Viki was a SAINT, not only to drive my nervous ass over, but to help me warm up about six times. I felt better after just drilling and flow rolling a tiny bit.

It was a long wait, but my gi division was up first. I had one opponent at bantamweight, so, a small bracket in gi.

Here's how it goes in a submission-only tournament: you have your brackets, for a full division it's basically semi-finals and finals, with a bronze medal match and the two winners do a gold/silver match. With two, it's best two out of three wins gold, the other person gets silver.

For blue belts, we have eight minute regulation matches. No points, no advantages, no stupid bullshit (sorry, I hate points tournaments). If you both survive eight minutes with no submissions, you go into overtime rounds: a back take, a spiderweb/armbar, and a classic head and arm triangle. For each, the defender needs to escape, and the attacker needs to submit. If you successfully escape, and you successfully submit, you win! If both people escape, or both people submit, you go to the next round, and it repeats as needed (back, armbar, triangle).

It's a great format, imo, and really suits my style: I play defense, I like to wear people down, and then go for it when I see an opportunity. I will play all kinds of wild positions and try to get creative and weird with it, and frankly have fun, and I think submission-only facilitates that!

Still, I was so goddamned nervous.

We started the match and it was ON. My opponent and I were really, really well matched. Size and skill wise, we gave each other a lot of hell. It was rough, too, and I have all the bruises on my face to prove it! But I was having fun. A lot of fun.

Overtime action shot!

Our match went through regulation, to overtime. I escaped her back take, but her coaches fought with the ref a little. I offered to do it again, because, hey, I want to do it better. This may have been stupid of me, but I also, like... the reason I like sub-only so much is that I hate stupid technicalities and bullshit. So I offered to go again and did! And I escaped pretty well. On my turn to attack, I submitted her.

I honestly couldn't believe I won a match in gi. The last time I got a gold medal in gi, it was because I went to the 30+ division, and my opponent was 53. I was happy to win that day, but like... c'mon. I was 35 at the time. In sub-only, women don't have age categories, and I believe my opponent was maybe a bit younger than me, but probably not far from my age, and tough as hell. She was my size, we were well-matched in strength. And she BROUGHT IT.

I remember that going through my head, like "you can win in gi???" I could hardly believe it. I got my hand raised IN GI.

This felt great, and I was basically in shock.

(I won't belabor this, but I hate the gi. I think I'm terrible in it. Tuesday night - my last hard training day before competition, I did ok, but felt demoralized. I almost cried after training and told Viki that night "I don't think I'm going to compete in gi" and thought about pulling my registration. This is why I couldn't believe it, lol).

We had a short break and went again. Again, we did the full regulation match - she had an armbar at one point that I escaped, and I did have a last second back take and choke attempt, but I ran out of time. We went to overtime, I escaped her back take... and I remember, in the moment, getting ready for my turn to attack: "this is probably for a medal. IN GI. You are this close!" and I cinched it with a submission. I got my hand raised again. I thanked her and her coaches, and even chatted with them a little.

We went to the podium - another woman congratulated me on the match, saying she watched it and love dit. The podium worker said the same, and I was flattered. Kirsten (my opponent, who again, was fucking AWESOME and tough) and I did the podium thing, getting our medals and taking pictures.

Podium action shot!

Then, it was off to watch my teammate Ollie compete and kick ass,  and then get changed for no-gi, where I absolutely knew Kirsten was going to come for blood, lol.

It still didn't feel real: a gold medal? Me? Danielle? Gi-hating Danielle who almost cried after just training in a gi on Tuesday night (again, nothing went wrong, lol, my training partners are incredibly conscientious and were preparing me!) - I let myself wear the medal for a couple of minutes before putting it in the backpack.

Even now, just about 24 hours later, it doesn't feel completely real. I swear, I only even compete in the gi because it's just five bucks more to do both divisions, and you may as well get all the rolls you can on a day you are showing up.

There was a pretty big time gap between gi and no gi, but I was honestly a little nervous again. They put a (fantastic) purple belt (that's the next skill level up if you aren't familiar with jiu jitsu, and a pretty huge gap for me, being honest) in our division, and I faced her first. There was really no pressure at all here, I do not expect to win against a purple belt. I feel — very honestly — that I have a very, very long way to go in blue. Based on how the day went, I do feel like I'm on my way, and making real improvements — But I'm no where near purple.

I survived about five minutes of an eight minute regulation period, and did survive a pretty intense back take at first, but she got me with a second back take and rear naked choke/crank. All the power to her!

Then, the bronze medal match was between me and Kirsten again (who I faced in gi). Holy shit, this was a doozy. We fought really, really hard in regulation. I know she wanted it BADLY after gi, and I could tell she had serious wrestling and probably Judo as well in her background. She tossed my ass around! It was rough and it was tough, and my face is a little fucked up today, not going to lie. But I loved it, and loved rolling with her — she had such good pressure, and beautiful knee cuts, and she was strong and fast and athletic.

We went through regulation, to the first overtime. I won the "rock paper scissors" to determine who went first and I took her back... and she escaped. She did her back attack, and I escaped. 

At this point, I was TIRED. Not no much cardio-tired (I have myself conditioned pretty well), but... "I want to lie down and sleep" tired. But I got her in the armbar position for the second round, squeezed... and got the tap! Again, I thought "you are this close to a medal!" and defended the second round armbar well.. I really, really thought I was out, but in the last possible instant she just NAILED IT and got my arm back and I had to tap. It was fantastic, she did well to grab it back.

So, we went to a third round of overtime. Triangle. I had her in, squeezed, cut the angle... and got the tap! Yes! Now, I really knew I was close. I tapped her, all I needed to do was escape her triangle and I'd have a bronze in no-gi. I wanted it. I really wanted it!

I got into her triangle. It was tight right away (which it should be!), I *thought* I had stacked her in the correct position to escape, I thought I could do it...

And then... I remember dreaming. I started coming to, thinking I was asleep in my bed, and that i was dreaming about competition. I started to become conscious, and I heard her say "I think she's out!" and saw her face and the ref's face. It took me a few moments, but I realized where I was, and that I had passed out completely. She sank a PERFECT blood choke on me. Absolutely picture perfect.

I sort of kept saying, in my confusion "I'm ok! I'm ok!" and shook her hand and kind of stumbled off the mat.

Me, laughing in utter confusion after taking a nice nap on the mat (my opponent was really nice about it!)

Later on, I realized: we were actually supposed to go to a fourth overtime round! We both submitted to a triangle (if you lose consciousness, that counts as a tap!), and I believe the ref was actually asking me if I wanted to continue. Hand to heart, I'm not trying to save face, I just didn't realize it at all, in my complete confusion. I accidentally forfeited by walking off, lol. I seriously had no idea, and honestly, it was probably better that I didn't try to do another round THAT confused.

But still, that is absolutely going to be something I kick myself about, for forever. Just being THAT CLOSE.

By the way, I will say: it was the second time losing consciousness in jiu jitsu (and the first time... I'm not sure I was all the way out, this time I absolutely was) — it doesn't hurt. I'm not saying it's pleasant or great, exactly, it's very, very disorienting, because you actually start to dream a bit and have NO IDEA where you are for a few. But I would rather that than a broken arm or a torn ACL, so, as things happen on the mat, really not a terrible experience.

Kirsten deserves all the respect in the world — she put me out, and FAST (I had no idea how fast until Viki told me, lol. I sure thought I was fighting it for much longer!). She was wonderful to compete with, and I felt we were very evenly matched and got the best out of one another. I chatted with her afterward and we both complimented one another.

Overall, I'm proud of how hard I fought. I know that, in competition, I have absolutely defeated my self before, and gotten so discouraged. It's never conscious, I will always push, I will always mechanically force myself to get back up and get back out. Always. But mentally, in the past, I've really fucked myself.

Yesterday, I vowed to stay patient, and I actually did. I stuck to a gameplan fully: patience, defense, attacking whenever I saw or felt an opportunity. I actually feel, for the first time, that I did my best out there, the best I can do with my jiu jitsu right now, at 4.5 years of training, as a blue belt with one stripe.

That is a wildly unfamiliar feeling. Every other time I've competed, I've come out with at least a few things that were "holy christ, I am terrible at X and need to work on Y." The only other slight exception was the sub only tournament I got my first-ever medals at (silver in both) where I legitimately shocked myself. Even then, I had a couple of specific things I needed to work on (ankle lock defense! I still think about it!)

I'm a little bit beat up today (that armbar I thought I was out of, then got caught right at the last second? I tapped on time, but "on time" with adrenaline is "a tiny bit late" so it hurts like hell today), and will probably just do cardio for a few days to take time to heal up before going back to grappling. But I feel really proud. I feel good about it. I feel stupid as hell for accidentally forfeiting, but overall very pleased with the day.

Where do I go from here? Rubber guard, baby! I want to get *great* at rubber guard. And this has given me a huge boost to keep chipping away at gi, no matter how much I may hate it in the moment. Because I won yesterday, I do get a free invitation to the submission only worlds for this tournament, so, that's something I can think about...

But for now... I'm going to try and let the good parts sink in. Viki got me victory pizza last night, and holy shit, I don't know if anything has ever tasted so good :D

[renee-writer]

Teenage Daughters Chapter 4 What Gillian Sees

They are both super busy. Rory is preparing for her end of the year exams. Her mam is swamped at work, getting home must nights just in time to eat and sleep. She is thankful for Rory's independence and her new neighbor’s watchful eye.

They text back and forth. He lets her know when Rory gets home and if anyone comes by. She is relieved to have help and that her daughter only has approved girl friends over.

Sunday is welcome. She is fully off work and has time to catch up with her daughter as she catches up on house work.

“So Jane finally asked John out. He said yes of course. They went to a movie last night.” Rory tells her as they fold laundry together. “She says several guys want to ask me out. John told her.”

“I don't doubt it but not until you are 16. Then they have to meet me first.”

“Mum, none of my other mates have such restrictions!”

“Not true. Do you forget that Jane's mum and I are mates? I know she meet John before Jane was allowed to go out with him.” Her daughter dramatically sighs. “Come my darling. It could be worse. Jane had both her parents meet her beau. Yours will only have to face me.” Her daughter rolled her eyes but gave her a small smile. “Now, go put these clothes away. Your Aunt Gillian, Uncle Joe, and Mr. Fraser will be here soon.”

Her smile got bigger. Claire doesn’t know if it is from the knowledge her beloved aunt was coming or Jamie. She sighs and pulls herself up to set the table.

“Well, were is he?”

“Where is who and hello by the way. Hello Joe.” She enfolds them both in hugs.

“Hello Claire. You look lovely.”

“Thank you Joe. Come in guys.”

“Hello hen. Jamie Fraser, of course. My niece has texted me ten times about him over the last week.”

“Oh no.” her hand goes to her forehead.

“Don't approve of the boy?”

“No Gil. He is a man. Our new neighbor. You will meet him today. He is coming for dinner.”

“Oh,” Joe appraises her perfect make-up, well fitting dress, and free falling hair differently. “So that is it.”

“Maybe,” his intended adds, looking her over herself. “It might be your daughter is going on about him because she knows you like him.”

“Please. He is ten years younger then me.”

“That didn’t seem to matter when it came to Rory's dad.”

“I was very drunk and a different person. Christ Gil. Go and make you and your man a drink. Rory is in the kitchen.”

“Okay okay but I am glad he is coming. Your reaction is quite telling.” She pushes her mate towards the kitchen.

There is a knock on the door a few minutes later. She smiles at him when she opens it. There was something. She just doesn’t wish to admit it. Not even to herself.

“Hi Claire.”

“Hi Jamie. Come in. Eveyone else is here.”

“Oh,” he follows her in. “am I late?”

“No. Right on time. They were a bit early.”

She leads him into the kitchen where Rory was telling her aunt and uncle about her nerves about her math and science test.

“English and art will be a breeze. But those I am a bit concerned about.”

“You have been studying?” Joe confirms.

“Yes Uncle Joe. Every night.”

“You will be fine then. Your marks may not be as high but you will pass.”

“I told her the same thing..” Claire says. They turn to her and Jamie. “Didn’t wish to interrupt. Gillian Duncan and Joe Abernathy meet Jamie Fraser. Jamie, Gillian is my best mate and Joe is the lucky bloke who will be marrying her in a few months.”

“Very nice to meet you Gillian and Joe.”

Joe come up and shakes his hand. “Nice to meet you Jamie.”

“Very nice to meet you.” Gillian also shakes his hand.

“Okay guys. Drinks here. Food is potluck. But the table is set. It has been a long week.”

“Aye. Poor lass has been getting home after the sun set.”

“Ye noticed, eh?” Gillian asked him. They are all walking towards the dining room to grab plates.

“Aye. Had an assignment.” He nods towards Rory talking with Joe.

“I see. Good.”

They are soon seating around the dining room. Jamie and Gillian and Joe get to know each other.

“”Aye. My family has been making spirits both legally and illegally since the mid 1770's. Fraser Spirits was officially incorporated in 1890.”

“You make some good stuff. Can Gillian and I get a discount on the booze for our reception?”

“I am sure something can be arranged.”

“I am going to be a bridesmaid with mum.” Rory tells Jamie.

“I am sure you are looking forward to that.”

“Oh yes. I will 16 so mum says I can have a small drink of wine.”

“I will make sure there is something light.” He tells Claire.

“Thank you.”

They talk more about the wedding, about Gillian's job as a charge nurse in the ED, Joe’s job as a barrister. An hour in, Rory excuses herself to return to studying. Gillian sees it when she comes around the table to hug each of them goodnight. When she side hugs Jamie and their faces are close together. Her breath seems to stop. Rory slips out and she completely interrupts Jamie and Joe's conversation about Jamie’s families attempts to branch into America.

“I can look into..”

“Sorry my ghaol, I need to talk to Claire alone.” They all stare at her. “Will you join me in the kitchen?”

“Of course. You guys continue.” She follows her mate into the kitchen. “Gil what in the world?”

“Sorry but God. You don’t see it?”

“See what?”

“You are to close. The resemblance between Rory and Jamie?”

“It is the hair.”

“No. It is the slanted eyes. The way they both tilt their head the same way when focused on someone. They both have crooked pinkies. Genetic traits.”

“Come on Gil. You think I would remember if I..”

“You were both very drunk. His hair was dyed. Much younger.”

“You are insane.”

“Am I?” Claire sinks onto the kitchen stool as she realizes how right her mate is. There had been a sense of familiarity. Him being her daughter's dad would explain that.

“Oh Jesus!” This is when the lads enter.

“All alright?” Jamie asks.

[drangues]

Here’s! To! Hoping! I mean, I don’t think there’s been anything super bad yet! But I’ve also only taken three or four doses (and I now realized I missed my most recent one but I’ve already eaten and I’m supposed to take it before I eat FUCK-), so I guess? I’ll wait? And see??? Also I didn’t sleep at ALL last night, I am. So tired. I go to work at five in the morning. Please help. But anyways I hope your test goes well!!! I’m rooting for you, buddy!!! (Nyanon, 1/5)

Anyways YEAH they really are, they hate it and it’s hilarious. To be honest, it’s even reflected in their abilities? Uncontainable chaos versus total control, you know? It’s what makes their frenemy relationship so interesting, I think. And listen Akutagawa and Atsushi fight on occasion (re: a lot, they’re vitriolic best buds at some point and I will take that to my grave), but one thing they have in common is Not being able to handle their crush Loving Them and then Proving It. (Nyanon, 2/5)

Like, Akutagawa flops out on Atsushi’s bed screaming into a pillow and Atsushi’s just like “bet you’re regretting teasing me” (watch Chuuya and Dazai pull the exact same thing on the other side of their location). And as sad as it is,, Atsushi has probably not experienced a Number of the things he’s deserved to experience? Being hugged, being given forehead kisses by a parental figure, being able to make a pillow fort, being held when he has a nightmare... (Nyanon, 3/5)

Poor guy needs many, many hugs. (Also its Fukuzawa, what do you expect. Watch Dazai spray himself with catnip cologne or something to see if it has the same effect.) But yeah, that’s! Kinda what I was thinking! I just can’t see him liking the,, Super violent ones after his childhood, you know? Ones where he gets to stroll around in piece and follow a nice story and build himself a sort of home feels like something he’d enjoy more. Also do you think he’d like otome games??? (Nyanon, 4/5)

I feel like he’d either love them, hate them, or find them hilarious. Anyways, onto another Scenario Concept: In honor of my own awful sleep deprivation, I keep thinking about Atsushi not being able to sleep for some reason? Not even nightmares, it’s just One Of Those Nights. I feel like he’d be very spacey and clingy and infinitely to fall asleep in his work the next day. (Nyanon, 5/5)

REMEMBER TO TAKE YOUR MEEDSSSSSS WRITE IT DOWN- oh wait then youll forget you Wrote it down dammit. do you have anyone to remind you?? GSHJDKS also! right now as im typing this, im answering right after i came home from my math test. it went,,,Somewhere. i Answered like, all questions except three and i hope my teacher will be seduced by my beautiful doodle of a cat on the test paper and give me an E. 

i also think it’s what makes their frenemy interesting!! how they just totally work well together despite their,,,Emotions?? towards each other. dazai and chuuya are my ultimate brotp because i kinda project my brotp with my best friend on them- im all cheery and say “HI BRO <333″ and my best friend irl just goes “fuck you” but they love me. i know they do. theyve Slipped Up a few times and show it in different ways layered between insults and roasts

in the hmc universe akutagawa and atsushi Definitely have a some banter here and there since theyre not on opposites ends anymore- they would banter about atsushi’s clean freakness, about akutagawa not taking enough care of himself and excusing it as “ill die soon anyways” in which now bOTH atsushi and chuuya gets mad at, their banter could also be something very pointless as “why is the potions name named yellow stone when it is pURPLE” “it’s just how it Is atsushi” “but it doesnt make any sense, name it something better” “I cant just rename stuff!” “yES YOU CAN-” “N O-”

but ofc akutagawa still cares, and atsushi still cares, especially with how he often helps atsushi up the stairs or looks at him worriedly when his back hurts from rising up the chair. atsushi cares by making sure he takes his medicine and is warm and bundled up and it’s just Sweet

also about atsushi it’s so sad he deserves the world eVERYONE DOES SMH and dazai spraying himself with catnip cologne i- GAKAHGEHEJKSDS

i was gonna suggest otome games!! but then i thought he would just like try them out of curiosity and then feel silly for even playing them so he just leaves it as that. atsushi being clingy and tired after a night of not being able to sleep?? i love it. i bet he would work so hard and then just fall asleep and kunikida might be strict but he definitely lets atsushi have his well deserved nap cus he doesnt make a habit of it unlike a certain someone

[letsbenditlikebennett]

Oh Deer || Ariana & Deirdre

 Ariana goes over to Deidre’s to repair a leaky faucet.  @deathduty

Ariana had been pleasantly surprised that the woman she spoke with online, wanted to pay her so generously for her work despite her lack of professional training. Deirdre had all but insisted she demand more for her services. So even if this woman loved math, she could look past that and happily do the job. With Grad Night and Prom around the corner, she could totally use the extra cash. She knew Celeste had been picking up extra shifts at the diner so that Ariana could have these experiences, but it’d be nice if she could cover the cost for herself. Celeste had worked hard enough to give them a comfortable life, she hated the idea of her working even harder. Fixing a leaky faucet was simple enough, so she headed to Deirdre’s with her tools in hand. When she arrived, she knocked on the door to indicate she arrived and waited for an answer. 

Deirdre had lived with that forsakes leaky faucet for too long. Yes, it was a funny joke to try and invite people over to fix it. But with Morgan staying with her now, and an incessant dropping noise she had to live with, enough was enough. She opened the door gleefully to find the young Ariana. Good kid, she surmised. Even if she didn't like math. "Come in! Come in!" She threw the door open to her lavish home, spacious and filled with expensive furniture and delicate decorations, and ushered her in. "It's the faucet in the kitchen there," Deirdre pointed. The foyer of her house lead into the large, two-story grand room, which was then connected to her immaculate kitchen with the exorbitant looking marble counter tops and built in double oven. It was like a feature out of a magazine, and for all Deirdre knew, it probably was. "Would you like something to drink first? Water? Juice? Wine?" She paused with a smile, "that last one is a joke, obviously. Just testing you." 

When the door opened, Ariana was a bit shocked to see the nicest home she’d ever seen in her life. Everything was immaculate. She didn’t realize people actually lived like this. She’d been sure homes that were this perfect only existed in display rooms or home magazines. Even with a google search, she was a little foggy on what all a life actuary did, but she concluded they must make a shit ton of money. Following Deirdre in, she said, “Wow, this place is beautiful.” It was no wonder the woman all but demanded she charged more for her time. Maybe if she followed that bit of advice, she’d have a house this nice one day. Well, maybe not this nice, she preferred things to have a little bit more of a natural element, but space would be nice. Her and Celeste had always had to live in somewhat small spaces. Her eyes immediately fell on the double stove, was that a range stove? She dreamed for that kind of temperature control while cooking. Shifting her focus back to Deirdre, she responded, “Water would be great. I’ve never actually had wine before. On the job and taking my sister’s car home is probably not the best time to give it a try.” She could hear the leaky faucet long before she saw it. “I’ll need to turn the main water line off so I don’t flood your whole kitchen. Did you have laundry or anything going you needed to turn off before I do that?” 

Deirdre shrugged, she was aware her house looked nice but she'd never cared much for the fact. She had money, she might as well spend it. And luxury was the best way to. She turned and poured Ariana water in a delicate wine glass—for the joke. "There you go, now just pretend that tastes like funky grape juice." Deirdre poured herself a glass of red and sipped it slowly. "Oh," she laughed, "do I look like the kind of person that does her own laundry?" Amused, she dipped her head back and laughed louder. She did do her own laundry though, unfortunately. Since Morgan had started staying with her, it didn't make sense to bind humans into doing her chores anymore. She would miss those incompetent, yet beautiful, humans dancing around for her, but it was much better this way. Deirdre sipped her wine again, "yes, of course. You can shut it off. She gestured to her large glass windows and the door leading out to her deck and the equally immaculate backyard. "The valve is just outside, I think. Admittedly, I've never had to shut it off before. But it shouldn't be too hard to find, right?" Deirdre glanced outside, there was so much space. And a pool. And Ariana was so tiny. She might get lost out there, but Deirdre lifted no fingers to help.

Ariana couldn’t help but laugh as Deirdre gave her a wine glass filled with water. After taking a sip, she said, “So that’s what all the fuss is about.” She did a little air cheers before setting the glass back down. She’d been a little thrown off about the laundry comment. Did people really pay other people to do their laundry for them? She’d never heard of that, but she shrugged. “You really know how to live. Folding clothes definitely isn’t my favorite weekend activity.” When she was given the direction of the backyard, she made her way out to find the main water line. The yard was just as luxurious as the rest of the house. That pool looked super inviting, too. Everything was perfectly kept as well. She was sure if she had a ruler, every blade of grass would be exactly the same height. Without too much searching, she was able to find the main line on the side of the house and switched the valve to off. She’d been just about ready to head back in when her senses went haywire. She could practically feel the hairs on the back of her neck raising and heard the rustle in the trees behind her. Sniffing the air around her, it almost smelled like a deer. When she finally spotted it in the trees, something looked entirely off about it. It’s head seemed to be a different tone that wasn’t quite brown, but she couldn’t make it out. As the deer began to charge toward her, she remembered a common beast Celeste spoke about. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” She took off sprinting toward the house hoping that would be enough to evade it. This thing wouldn’t follow her in would it. Quickly closing and locking the door behind her, she called, “Uh, Deirdre, we might have a problem. You seem to have a friend out back.”

Ariana was a good kid, Deirdre decided. Most kids were good, usually. But that was beside the point. She sipped her wine, waiting for Ariana to return. When she did, frantic, Deirdre took another slow sip. “A friend?” She raised a perfectly manicured brow. “Hm, is it a bunch of dogs again? Leprechauns?” She shook her head with a laugh, gesturing for Ariana to come closer and ignore it. “I’m sure it’s fine. It’s not like---” But she’d spoken too soon, and behind them the deer charged into the house, shattering the glass. Its antler caught in a sofa, stuck there just long enough for Deirdre to take in its appearance: bright red head, large body. “Oh,” she blinked, taking another slow sip of her wine, “this is one of those ‘spinach’ things.” Deirdre turned to Ariana. “We probably shouldn’t let that touch us.” Her eyes trailed over the plethora of knives and swords she had on display (really, she’d just left them lying around but she called that display). The sianach reared back, head out of the sofa. It turned to Ariana. Deirdre took another sip. “I’d run if I was you.” And then it charged, trampling furniture in its wake.

With the door shut behind her, Ariana thought she was in the clear. When she heard the glass shattering, it became evident that would’ve been way too easy. She listed off other supernatural creatures before saying something about spinach. What the actual fuck was going on? Why was she so calm when a giant deer had just decided to rampage through her door? “A spinach thing? Sure doesn’t look like a freakin’ salad to me.” She ducked behind a table and out of its sight momentarily. This was supposed to be an easy faucet repair. Not a wild deer chase, or rather a wild wolf chase since she was the one being chased here. She grabbed one of the knives laying on the table she was currently hiding behind. It was weighted nicely, it could work. Inching away from behind the table, she had the deer thing in her sights and threw the knife at it. Grazing the left shoulder of the weird spinach deer, it made a shallow slice before it flew past and fell to the ground. Spinach deer definitely did not like that and began charging her way again. She bolted from where she was standing to the other side of the room. Wait, was Deirdre still drinking wine? Was she not freaked out by the actual wild animal in her living room? “Do these spinach things have any weaknesses I can exploit?” She threw a vase at it for good measure before darting to another side of the room.

“Well, it’s not exactly spinach. It’s close. I can never remember the names of these sorts of things…” Deirdre trailed off, following her sentence with another sip of wine. The deer, meanwhile, was having a real go at destroying her house. Furniture was getting knocked over or outright trampled, her nice wooden table sat in pieces in the middle of the room. And, of course, her beautiful window had been shattered in when it charged indoors. “Nope,” she said casually. Her wine was done. She moved to pour more. The clinking of glass alerted the creature and it pulled its head up, vision squared on Deirdre. The one person decidedly not throwing vases and knives at it. Angry as it was, it turned to what it assumed to be the easier target. And then it charged. “Hey!” Deirdre rolled out of the way, watching as the creature ran through her kitchen island--all that precious marble cracked around it. Then it charged again, through the other side and into her beautiful double ovens. “Hey, my girlfriend uses those!” She threw the bottle of wine at it, shattering red liquid across its already red fur. “They die like any other animal!” She called out, rolling and diving out of the way. Shades of glass caught in her palms and knees as she moved around, avoiding the creature’s insistent charging. Deirdre eventually made her way to Ariana’s side, panting and bleeding. “You should sacrifice yourself for me,” she joked. She could scream, but with all the charging and Ariana running around, it was hard to aim. And she didn’t want to hurt the kid, she never liked doing that. “Don’t touch it!” She urged again.

This thing was really beginning to piss Ariana off. She let out a low growl to try and intimidate it though it didn’t seem very frightened. If this was what was lurking around in people’s backyards, she was really going to need to work on trying to transform at will. She knew standing at 5’1” she wasn’t exactly the most intimidating in human form. Apparently it was ruining the stove that was cause for alarm and had Deirdre throwing a bottle of wine. “Your whole living room is destroyed but it’s the stove that gets your attention?” It made her laugh even though they clearly weren’t in the clear yet. There was shattered glass everywhere and this thing was definitely not relenting. The red wine only seemed to make it angrier. “Alright, so kill it without letting it get close enough to touch me? Need something with range.” She grabbed what looked like some sort of ancient axe and watched the deer carefully. This was a lot easier when the target wasn’t moving. She threw it across the room, but the thing was too quick, and it only hit the deer’s buttocks of all things. “Ugh,” she grumbled tugging at Deirdre as she rolled out of the way of another charge, this one taking down her dining room table. Hopefully she hadn’t been planning any lavish dinner parties. It looked like the now detached faucet was going to be the last of their concerns.

Did Ariana just....growl? Did she hear that? Deirdre squinted at the kid, rubbing her bleeding palms against her pants as it started to irritate her. “Because without an oven, I can’t get pie! I have priorities, Ari!” Deirdre rolled out of the way of another charge. She watched Ariana pick up the axe, eager to see that thing cleaved and then...watched it bounce harmlessly off its backside. “Great, if anything. Hopefully they’ll talk of the deer with the shapely ass at our funerals.” Not that they were going to die, Deirdre knew that. But jokes were funnier if you pretended someone was going to die. “Oh for fuck’s--” Deirdre pulled a knife out from one of several spots she had them concealed on her person. She wound her hand back and threw it, watching as it sunk easily into the deer’s ass---what should have happened with the axe. “See?” She turned to Ariana, “that is how you--” Her sentence was cut off by another charge, this one desperate. Maybe it was trying to escape? Deirdre didn’t know. All she knew was her TV was no on the floor, knocked down by the force. “Wait, I have an idea,” she panted, “why don’t I distract it?” It might have made more sense to have Deirdre, the one who spent most of her life learning how to kill, try to kill the demon-deer. But she worried, against her own judgement, about Ariana’s wellbeing. One role was certainly safer than the other. “And then you--maybe--throw something properly!” The knife jutting out of its backside made its movement sluggish enough for Deirdre to evade with more ease. It limped around, trying to get close enough to either of them, whistling out its pain and desperation.

If she weren’t currently trying to out maneuver a creepy ass deer, Ariana would have found Deirdre’s priorities to be funny. She could have a laugh about it later. Right now staying alive was the primary objective. She’d be damned if a deer was taking her down of all things. She hunted deer not the other way around. This was not how the food chain was supposed to work. “Don’t start planning our funerals just yet.” There was no way in hell a wolf was about to get taken out by a deer. Not on her watch. She watched as Deirdre’s knife stuck in the deer’s ass. Well, she definitely had good aim. Ariana much preferred fighting in close range which was way harder when you weren’t supposed to let something touch you. They could hardly get a word out before the next charge. This thing was relentless, then again, it did have a knife in its ass. Ariana would be pretty pissed too. Deirdre seemed to have a plan, though it seemed dangerous. At least this thing was moving slower now. “Okay, got it,” she said while grabbing several knives. Deirdre seemed to have the thing’s full attention so she began throwing blades at it before it reached her. The slowed movement made it easier to aim, the first knife landing in the side of its neck, at least bringing it down to its knees. Not quite dead yet. She threw another knife that landed just a few inches behind the first one. She looked to Deirdre, “Did that do it?” For good measure, she still threw another knife toward its stomach.

Deirdre suddenly realized that this was a bad idea. Not only was she ducking and rolling and sprinting out of the way of an enraged supernatural deer, but now she had to make sure none of Ariana's knives hit her too. Thankfully, the girl had better aim with them than she did with the axe. Deirdre huffed, jumping out of the way as the deer toppled over, bringing down more furniture and crushing a table under it. It whined, its voice thick and pained. Seeing a creature die never was much fun. She drew another knife and sunk it effortlessly into its skull. Deirdre could feel a light diminish in her. The creature went still. It was dead. "Good work," she looked up, smiling. Then turned her head down to survey the creature. Ariana landed three knives, all vital to bringing the creature down. It was, without a doubt, actually good work. "Don't touch the carcass," she held a hand out, "still can't touch the thing." She looked around to her house, damaged beyond simple repair and left in tatters and pieces; ruins. And her faucet, the leaky one, had been destroyed in all the chaos. "It's a good thing you turned the water off. We might have had to deal with flooding too," she stepped over broken glass and bits of sharp wood, dug out another bottle of wine, popped it open, and took a long sip. "There's no leaky faucet left now so I guess you did your job. Do you want cash or should I wire the money?" She eyed one of her vases, the one Ariana had thrown earlier. Wasn't that thing worth over a thousand dollars itself? Oh well.

Ariana felt relieved as Deirdre stuck a knife in the deer’s skull. She looked over her living area and it was effectively destroyed. Even going down, another table went with the damn thing. She felt bad the deer followed her back into the home. She’d have to help her with getting this all back in order. It then dawned on her that Deirdre knew what it was. “Got it, don’t touch it. So, if you don’t mind me asking, how do you know about this kind of stuff?” She watched and was a bit amused to see her going for another bottle of wine. “Oh, yeah, water would have not been a fun addition to this mess. Sorry it chased me in here. Need a hand getting it cleaned up?” She kept finding that Deirdre was full of surprises. Avoiding the broken glass on the floor, she walked over to check the sink. The pipes were not even remotely reparable in this state. “I’d say I’d turn the water back on, but I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Cash or Venmo is fine. Whichever is easier for you.” She picked up some broken wood from the floor and placed it in the bin, “Would you like me to come back tomorrow and help get everything cleaned up?”

"I'm Irish. I think you can figure out why I know so much, Ariana." Deirdre smiled. Yes, it was a stereotype to think of anyone Irish as being Fae but...well, it was true. She dipped the wine bottle back again and took another sip. "I don't need help," she sighed, "I'll just pay someone to come in and fix everything. I'll get some of my men to come pick up the body on gurney." Her men being the strange group she'd somehow roped into doing her deliveries for her. It was like having a group of servants on call for her. "Thank you, Ariana. When everything is fixed, can I have you back over? I'll loosen a pipe so you have to fix it and you can get a proper pay for proper work but for now…" she trailed off. Her phone was somewhere, she didn't know. She turned to the dented drawers and cabinets instead, trying to find any one of the wads of cash she had laying around for….who knows what reason. That was a mystery to her too. "Oh, here," she slapped a wad down on the broken remains of her kitchen island. The bundled cash was well over a hundred dollars, Deirdre didn't bother to count. It could be a thousand, it could be two hundred—it didn't matter to her. "Take that as payment and an apology. That poor deer thing ruined your fun plumbing experience."

Ariana’s eyes were wide and her face lit up at the realization that she must have been fae. Celeste had told her about fae before. They’d been prevalent in a lot of the audiobooks Celeste listened to on their drives, too. She’d always imagined wings, but maybe there was a way of hiding those. She subconsciously sniffed the air a bit. There wasn’t anything animal-like in the air besides the monster deer. “So, fae then? That’s super cool. On that note, I’m definitely not that kind of hunter. I just enjoy catching a deer during the full moon. I think you can figure out the rest.” She had circled back a bit to their online conversation. Meeting someone else supernatural was always exciting and Deidre definitely seemed like a good person to be friendly with. When Deirdre mentioned loosening a pipe again so she could do proper work, she let out a laugh, “You got it. Just let me know when. I’ll keep a better eye out for potentially dangerous friends next time.” When she took the cash, she could easily tell it was definitely way more than they agreed, too. She thought about saying as much, but quickly realized Deirdre would reject that. She did keep telling her to ask for more. “Thanks, Deidre. This was very generous of you. It was good actually meeting you, too. I look forward to having my proper plumbing experience.”

[himboholhorse-moving]

1 2 4 7 8 9 13 18 20 26 27 29 30 32 39 40 41 43/44 45 46 49 51 53 55 56 57 59 63 65 that is. so many dghsdghsdgv I'm sorry I just see an ask meme and go crazy aaaa go stupid aaaa. You can just answer whichever u like from those!! also 69(nice): you seem rly nice and funny from your 🅱️osts and I appreciate u... I hope you can find better irl friends who aren't trash

HDSKFJKS I completely understand but lucky for u I LOVE to talk !!

1) How are you?

Pretty good, actually!! Which is a nice change of pace. I went to Walmart with some friends yesterday and got a few things, baked a family recipe that my friends LOVE, and finally did my laundry (it’s been a couple weeks we love depression and executive dysfunction dfhkjsfd). I went to Cracker Barrel with some friends and earlier and played a 4-way game of Tetris after. :3c

2) Post a picture of yourself.

Here you go !!

4) What is your entire name?

Sierra Alexis and my last name is something constantly misspelled so I’ll give you the name of a historical figure whose name is a letter off from mine: George B. McClellan, to whom I may or may not be related because last name variations are fuckin’ WEIRD.

7) Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality.

I’m a Capricorn sun and moon, and Libra rising !! And from what I’ve read on Twitter from various astrologers, like Milkstrology, I LOVE her, I’d say it’s pretty accurate with my personality!! I like to say Capricorn’s aren’t cold bitches but, I Have A Tendency To Be One !!

8) What did you do on your last birthday?

God what DID I do on my last birthday… it was in January, so like, I SHOULD remember… OH I went to IHOP with my friends !! I share a birthday with another friend and I got a JoJo notebook and something called a Fuggler! They’re stuffed animals more or less but designed to be “ugly.” I got one that looks like Philadelphia Flyers mascot Gritty because I LOVE Gritty… he’s so fun and funky.

9) What is one thing you’d like to accomplish before your next birthday?

Get all my requests in my inbox over on my writing blog done KJHFDJKSF it’s been a few months and life has been. Hectic to say the least.

13) If you could change your eye color, would you?

There’s so much weird as hell brown-eye-phobia so like… I think blue eyes would be pretty neat. OR PURPLE… give me some unnatural eye colors pls...

18) Do you have any tattoos?

Not yet!! I’m going to get one the next time I go back home for break. :3c And I have a few ideas for other ones!! I wanna get a big-ass “Dragon Age: Origins” tattoo that’s the dragon on the cover on my thigh. I also wanna get a DA2 and “Inquisition” tattoo… and the Joestar birthmark… too many ideas… 

20) Left or right handed?

Right-handed !! I could have been left-handed or ambidextrous if I broke my arm AFTER I started kindergarten, but alas that was before.

26) Something you are working on right now:

This !! But also the script for my next podcast episode that I record on uhhh Monday I think. Should probably figure that one out dsjfjhsf

27) Do you have any “rules” about food?

I answered that in the last ask !!

29) What would you say is your best quality?

I also answered this in the last ask !!

30) What do you think you’re really good at?

Writing, I’d say! And memorizing trivia about the stuff I’m super into. If it’s stuff pertaining to “M*A*S*H” or old movies or TV shows or actors or specific historical events, I will know that shit FOR LIFE. Don’t ask me to do math pls thank u

32) What talent do you wish you’d been born with?

I wish I was able to do stuff with music. That was never really in my blood, despite all the music classes they make you take in elementary school. I just never learned how to memorize or read sheet music. :/ I would have loved to play violin, tho… my friend plays and she says I would have been a good cellist.

39) Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?

YES… have for years. I still have my Care Bear from when I was 5, Gritty as mentioned above, a plush of my school’s mascot, and a little Fugo !! He’s so tiny.

40) What do you think about the most?

Everything and constantly and all at once. But the past really because I can never let stuff go and even the small things I mess up on haunt me forever… Wish that wasn’t the case but it is !!

41) Share two habits:

Biting my nails and having a very specific routine in which I get ready when I wake up. Like, I’ve gotta go brush my hair before I put my important cards in my left pocket, then put on my silver bracelet, then my beaded bracelet, then my earbuds in my right pocket, then put my earrings in. I HAVE to do it in that order…

And other oddities that include, like, if I need to go around something I HAVE to follow the urge to go one way and not the other, lest I feel the need to go back and fix it. And then which foot goes first before I reach a crack in the sidewalk, or up or down a curb, etc.

43) What are your career goals?

If I can just make people happy or get some kind of joy out of the things I do, I’d call that enough. :)

44) What is your ideal career?

Mmm, either a film historian or a film professor !! Preferably at the college I’m at right now but wherever the wind takes me, I’ll go! Or a Twitch streamer or YouTuber, it really depends on my mood jdhfjskf

45) Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

It was pretty much the same !! Freshman year was pretty lively, I didn’t have a job on campus yet though, or my podcast. Everything else is basically the same!

46) Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

CONSTANTLY… good or bad it’ll play back over and over and over again.

49) Do you have any phobias?

HOO BOY, DO I… fear of heights; fear of insects/bugs/arachnids/bees/wasps; I have a strong dislike of the number 13 but I don’t know if it’s a phobia, I just. REALLY hate it; the unknown, more or less what lurks somewhere beyond where I can see. Not so much a fear of the dark with that one, just what could BE in it.

51) Are you allergic to anything? If so, what?

I answered this in my last ask, as well!

53) Ever come close to death?

Two or three times, maybe? Two of them involved what’s called a laryngospasm, typically it can happen when your sick, which is what happened to me both times. Basically your throat just closes up on your for a hot minute and you can’t breathe. The first time I genuinely thought I was going to die (and my dad still sent me to school that day… HOE), the second time I was also sick and was losing/had lost my voice DURING A JOB RETREAT and it happened in the middle of the night so that was funny sitting there gasping for breath in the pitch dark.

At the FIRST retreat I went on for that job, you had to take pictures as part of a scavenger hunt, and the place used to be an old military fort, so there were still the old bunkers there. We had to take one on top of it and I was taking the picture, and it’s a wide shot so I go to take a step back but before I do I look behind me. If I hadn’t I would have fallen a good 10-15 feet down onto solid Civil War-era bunker concrete. I’d consider that being a “close to death” moment because I really could have died!

55) A random fact about yourself:

I have a half-brother !! My sis and I finally found him after her 23andMe results came back (which she decided to do despite us being like THE GOVERNMENT WILL COLLECT OUR DATA) and we didn’t think our mom would be happy she found him but she was !! My sis might reach out and contact him, she just wanted our mom’s permission first to do it.

56) What are three things most people don’t know about you?

Well, that I have a half-brother. I don’t mention it a lot. Aside from y’all on here and my sister, most everyone else doesn’t know I’m nonbinary! Everyone else knows I’m bi though lmao. And that there were times I’d stretch or bend the truth or lie about something just to impress someone else. It’s a… Bad Habit. Another thing is that most people don’t know I like coffee? Like I need to put a shit ton of creamer in with it because I’m a Bitch, but yeah.

57) An unknown fact about your life:

I wouldn’t call this an “unknown” fact but I’d used to go to work with my dad every now and again when he worked at the Home Depot and he was assistant manager. I’d either chill in the back room which was an office he shared with two other guys, or walk around the store with him. I had my own apron, too, which was my name with “Mini Mac” next to it, “Mac” being my dad’s nickname and something easier to say than my last name. I actually helped a few customers out so I wonder if I should have gotten paid for that despite being like, ages 9-13 when I’d go jshfkjd

And I guess I technically tested video games as a kid? Basically, when my dad was stationed at Fort Knox, they’d get demos of video games that hadn’t come out yet to test I suppose? and I still have a few somewhere. He’d hand them off to me and I’d play them so there’s that.

59) Five weird things that you like:

Eating globs of wasabi for no reason.

Scaring my friends also for no reason.

I wouldn’t say using cotton swabs to get wax out of your ears because it feels good is weird, just more medically inadvisable if anything.

When I was younger I’d like to floss really hard because the slight pain from it felt good. Young me was a #Freaque KJHDFJJDHF

I don’t know if being fond of alphabetizing and reorganizing things is considered weird but I LOVE doing that.

63) A quote you try to live by:

“It matters not how strait the gate, / How charged with punishments the scroll; / I am the master of my fate: / I am the captain of my soul.” It’s from the poem “Invictus” and the last two lines are what I’m getting tattooed !!

65) Weird things you do when you’re alone:

Practice the “Lucky Star” dance. I GOT THE LYRICS DOWN… JUST NEED TO DO THE DANCE NOW…

69) Leave me a compliment:

“you seem rly nice and funny from your 🅱️osts and I appreciate u... I hope you can find better irl friends who aren't trash”

Anon pls 🥺 I do my best to be nice but my friend really do test me sometimes... my feelings bounce back n forth like if they do something my feelings can switch to angry or like, hate, and then if they do something nice I’ll like them again. It sucks but ! I just take it one day at a time. Anon I care for u 💜💜💜

[crazedlunatic]

Icees

“Oh my God. I am so sorry!”

Nick stared down at his shirt, confused. He then wiped his phone off on his jeans.

“I always forget that crack right there and I’m late and… I am so sorry.  Oh my God.” The guy that had ran into him prattled on, looking incredibly embarrassed.

Nick finally looked up and saw the most adorable guy with blonde hair and very bright blue eyes.

Holy shit.

“It’s okay.” Nick said, laughing. “I’m sorry that you ‘re now out an icee… Well, half an ice if you pick the cup up.”

“I can’t believe this.” The boy groaned, having gone from looking embarrassed to looking annoyed—at himself. “Look, I can give you money for a shirt. I work in that building and I forgot my wallet in there—as usual… and I spent my last cash on this stupid icee.”

“At least it wasn’t one of the blue raspberry ones. The cherry isn’t that good.”

“Are you… what?” The guy looked at him, tilting his head. Because he was obviously the most adorable guy on the planet. Which was saying something since his niece was very precious.

“The icee. The cherry isn’t even that good… the Coke icees are better than the cherry. Was the machine broken again?”

“No… I…” The guy looked flustered. “I can go get money.”

“Don’t. My dad’s been trying to get me to throw this out since the day I bought it when I was fifteen.” Nick reassured him.

“No, no, no. I’m going to go and get my money right now.” The guy turned and went up a few steps.

“I’m leaving.” Nick called, smirking to himself and walking in the direction. He then turned and waved.

“Why do you look so familiar?” The guy called back.

“Bye!” Nick turned the corner.

Please work at Dr. Sanders office. That means I’ll get to see you again.

I’m definitely changing my Wednesday appointments to Tuesday either way.

…

“You can go ahead and sign o— oh my God.”

Nick raised his eyebrow before his eyes widened and a grin spread across his face.

So he did work here. Maybe he just looked super young for his age or something. “You.”

The guy groaned, covering his face.

“Hey, you don’t get to have that reaction. You are the one that assaulted me.”

One of the receptionists, the one who usually checked him out, looked up at that.

“Assaulted? You clearly weren’t watching where you were going either or you would have moved out of the way.”

“This is great! By the way, you completely ruined that shirt.”

 “I’m really sor—"

“No, don’t even worry about it. My dad may be in love with you. He’s been trying to make me get rid of it since before I’d actually even purchased it.” Nick waved his hand in the air. “But, you know, it’s really not nice to tease me.”

“Tease you?”

“I mean I love icees and you just threw it at me. Which is funny because at my dad’s school, the unpopular kids would get slushied… he doesn’t like them very much since he wasn’t very popular.”

The guy watched him, clearly trying to find out if he was serious or not.

“The gentlemanly thing to do would be to take me out for an icee since I haven’t been able to stop thinking about them since the other day.” Nick’s smile did not leave his face.

The guy opened his mouth when one of the therapists walked up.

“Hey, Nick. Come on back, sweetheart. How are you?”

Nick, feeling more than a little disappointed, followed her down the hallway. “I didn’t know you had guy therapists working here.”

“Oh, Cody is our intern. He goes to NYU and helps a lot with the children who come in. Sometimes he’ll help check people in and out if it’s busy.” She explained. “He’s super quiet but I shouldn’t even be surprised. Apparently, you can have a full conversation with anyone.”

…

“So, I know your name.” Nick said cheerfully an hour later, coming to a halt at the check in/out desk. “I guess you get to schedule my next appointments?”

“What day?” The guy, Cody, asked. He looked much more flustered than he had with the patient before Nick. Honestly, he probably hadn’t even heard a word Nick had said.

“Friday afternoon.”

“Wait, what’s your name? Nick Anderson?”

“Close enough.” Nick shrugged.

“One?”

“Great… Now when are you taking me for that icee?”

Cody looked at him, clearly trying to figure out if he was serious.

“I promise I’m legal.”

“Oh my God.” Cody was clearly trying not to smile or laugh— Nick wasn’t sure which.

“Well?”

“Are you going to do this every time I’m out here?”

“Every time until you take me.”

Cody looked around the admit desk—nobody else was there. “You know, if I lose my internship I’m losing a three year reference.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t?” Nick smiled sweetly.

“Fine. What are you doing tonight?”

“Getting an icee with you?” Nick tilted his head.

“Alright, fine… but don’t you even want to know my name?”

“As long as it’s not something dumb like Cody, we’re good.” Nick grinned. “I’ll meet you outside of the building at 5:00? Or 5:05 since you’re always late?”

“Have a good day.” Cody said as one of the receptionists walked up.

Nick held up his hand and then walked out the door, well aware Cody was probably watching him walk out.

…

“Well I went to UCLA to play soccer but I… came home.” Nick found himself explaining several hours later. He was sitting on the grass in Central Park. He took a big gulp of his icee.

“There is no way you graduated.” Cody gave him a look.

“I didn’t. I guess I’m technically a freshman still.”

“Did you miss home?” Cody asked curiously.

“Uhm, no… Well, I did but that’s not why I came home.” Nick leaned against the tree he was sitting in front of. “I actually got an eating disorder at school and my parents pulled me out. I spent about a month at home getting sicker so then I went to a six week program in Wisconsin… in an eating disorder clinic. I’ve been home three or four months, I think… but not doing school or really functioning in the real world makes it hard to keep up with the date.”

Cody stared at him, eyes wide. “Are you… better? Are you okay?”

“I’m okay. I’m getting there at least… I mean, I’ve made enough progress that I don’t have an escort to therapy and doctor appointments now.” Nick shrugged. “But I eat three full meals a day and four snacks. My dads usually get meals for me if they’re home, though, so I can’t try to portion stuff out… but I am doing a lot better than I was in January. I think everyone is surprised I’m doing this… well?”

“That’s good.” Cody said.

Nick looked him in the eyes. “Thanks… Does it not say on my file?”

“It might. All I use is this pop up for appointments when I’m behind the desk, though. I don’t really stay up there that much… Okay, that’s a lie. I’ll be there a lot but usually not at the front desk. I’m off to the side where people can’t see me. When I’m not, I play with the kids.”

“Like you watch them when their parents are in appointments?” Nick asked.

“No.” Cody shook his head. “I’ll go in with the kids that have appointments. Never by myself but a couple of the kids won’t even talk to the actual therapist so I have to try to get them to talk to me… I don’t know if that’s supposed to happen, but I think their parents are just glad they’re talking to anyone.”

“Why do you have the internship?”

“I’m studying neural science.”

Nick nearly spit out the sip of his icee he had just taken.

“I’m joking!” Cody laughed. “I’m actually not that smart. I got to NYU. I’m double majoring in Art and Public Policy at the Tisch School of Art in NYU.”

“You’re an artist?” Nick asked, interested.

“Well, I try but I don’t think I count as an artist.” Cody shrugged.

“What will you do with that degree?”

“I mean, I think I’ll have to get two more degrees after this one but I want to do art therapy. That’s kind of how I ended up with the internship. It was… well, sort of close to what I was interested in. Plus, I get to help with the kids.” Cody shrugged. “What are you majoring in?”

“The complete opposite of you.” Nick laughed. “I was majoring in computer sciences and engineering.”

“You’re really smart.”

“That depends on the subject. I’m really good at computers, math, science, and history… but I am really horrible at English and art stuff… I also can’t learn a second language to save a life.”

“I can’t either. I think it’s my accent.” Cody shrugged. “I’m really bad at all of that stuff by the way. Math, science, history.”

“That’s okay.” Nick shrugged this time. “It doesn’t sound like you’ll need it anyway… What year are you in?”

“I’m a senior.”

“What happens next year?” Nick asked. His stomach did a flop but not the sick kind. The sad kind.

“A few blocks over to Pratt for a graduate degree. They deal with therapy.” Cody said. “I’m really excited about it.”

“Did you get off of the internship at 5:00 or did you come back to meet me?” Nick asked, feeling relieved— but honestly not sure why since he’d only spent fifteen minute alone with him.

“I got off at 5:00.” Cody said. “Why?”

“You must be hungry.” Nick looked at him.

“I’m fine. We don’t have to get food or anything. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It doesn’t… and even if it did, I can’t avoid situations that involve food. Sometimes it is harder than others but avoiding restaurants is not living life normally.”

“In that case, let’s get dinner. At least a snack… because I am kind of starving.” Cody stood and held out an arm to help Nick up. “What do your parents do?”

“Well one of my dads is a lawyer and the other is a fashion designer here in the city.” Nick said.

“A known one?”

“Pretty known, yeah.”

“Oh? Who?”

“Kurt Anderson-Hummel.”

Cody nearly tripped over a branch because he was staring at Nick in shock.

“I’m serious. The computers usually cut off after Anderson on names since my last name is so long. Scantron tests are horrible.” Nick smiled brightly.

“Wait. No.” Cody stepped back. “No, you aren’t. Because they just have a set of twins and a daughter. One of them is going to be a vet and the other is…”

“Yes?” Nick gestured him on with his hands.

“Playing soccer.” Cody’s eyes widened. “No. You’re the one… the news…”

“Oh God. It was on the news?” Nick groaned. “I forgot that game was televised. Wonderful. I bet it’s on Youtube.”

Cody looked at him, expression much sadder than when they had been talking before.

“Yeah. Well, yeah. That was me in all my glory.” Nick said.

“You just… wow.” Cody said. “I mean… you look a lot better.”

“Not almost having a heart attack helps.” Nick joked.

“No.” Cody shook his head. “I see a lot of people with eating disorders come through and you… you have made a lot of… you look really good.”

Nick took a deep breath. “Thanks, I think.”

“Your dads are really… well, they seem really great.” Cody said. “I bet they’re really good parents.”

“They are.” Nick nodded, walking down the street with Cody.

“What do you call them?”

“Well, honestly I call them both dad if they aren’t in the same room. If they are I call Kurt Dad ‘Daddy’ and Blaine Dad ‘Dad.’ My sister calls both Daddy, though, which gets frustrating when she’s not in the same room with them.”

“This is crazy.” Cody shook his head as they walked into a restaurant.

“What part?”

“All of it? What are the chances I trip and spill an icee on you? Who just so happens to be Kurt Anderson-Hummel’s son.” Cody said.

“I don’t know about the icee part but we eventually would have met since I’m at the office so much.” Nick slid into a booth across from him. “I’m surprised we hadn’t before, honestly.”

“I regularly do Tuesdays and Fridays.” Cody said. “And you go Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Why were you even there on Tuesday?”

“I had a check up scheduled on Wednesday with my doctor so I switched this one.” Nick shrugged. “It worked out well for me.”

“Yeah.” Cody nodded as Nick pulled out his phone and typed a text.

“Sorry. My dad is texting me… both of them actually. I guess they figured out I wasn’t asleep in my room finally.” Nick said, locking his phone and sitting it down.

“Do you need to go?”

“No.” Nick shook his head as their food came. “They just check in sometimes… It’s a ‘transitional period.’”

“Transitional period?”

“That’s what Dad calls it when Daddy is not comfortable or doesn’t think I’m ready to be doing something that I insist on doing anyway… Which is annoying but I get it. I try to avoid it and text them but I forgot.”

“You live with them?”

“Yeah. They actually have guardianship… I signed my rights away the day after everything happened in LA.” Nick said. “So, I basically live like a fourteen year old again… That’s a slight exaggeration.”

“Well… transitions are tough for everyone involved but the good thing is that something good comes out of it.” Cody shrugged. “Plus, we’re all transitioning in one way or other. I’m transitioning to living by myself. I’ve lived here with my brother since I was sixteen, but I had lived with him back home since fourteen. He’s married with a baby now so it was time to go.”

“They didn’t kick you out, did they?”

“No! Tyler wouldn’t kick me out. In fact, he still brings me food, like, every other day. Which is nice since I’m super poor. His wife is great though and her family is nice too.” Cody laughed and shrugged. “I’m honestly doing it to myself. Starving artist complex I guess.”

Nick smiled a bit.

“Oh God. Did that come off bad?” Cody’s eyes widened.

“Not at all. Don’t worry.” Nick promised as he took a bite of his food. “So… are we going to do this again?”

Cody blushed a bit, opening and closing his mouth a few times.

“Technically you intern at the office and don’t work there… and it’s not like you’re my counselor.” Nick said.

Cody shook his head and took a sip of his drink.

“Plus, I can’t date until the middle of April anyway, so that should make you feel a bit better.”

Cody blushed more, looking up at the ceiling. “Why can’t you date until April?”

“A year from recovery… Well, a year from the day I left the center, really.” Nick shrugged.

“Thanks for that, uhm, information.”

Nick grinned at Cody when he looked back down. “You’ll almost be graduated by then. Maybe you won’t work there next year.”

“You are crazy.” Cody shook his head but he was smiling.

“Well nobody that lives with my two dads was going to be normal.” Nick laughed. “So are we going to do this again? My wardens want me to be home in thirty minutes and it’ll take that long to walk there.”

“I have a feeling if I said no, you’d harass me until I said yes.” Cody laughed this time.

“Yeah. I’m annoying that way. Ask Zach.” Nick stood. “I’ll see you around.”

“Wait.” Cody said when he was a few steps towards the door. “Can we… I mean, we should get each other’s numbers so we can find a time to… see each other.”

“Are you asking for my phone number, Cody Parker?” Nick went back over to him, holding out his phone.

“Yes.” Cody took his phone and called his own. “See? It’s ringing. I didn’t even give you a pizza shop’s phone number.”

“By the way, if you’re using me to meet my parents my godfather will kick your ass.” Nick joked and took his phone back since Kurt was calling him. “I don’t have a bed time, by the way.”

Nick walked out of the restaurant just a little too excited. He’d made it halfway home when he got a text.

You’re getting the icees next time.

[buscaosotroarbol]

I saw a Reddit thread of teachers sharing fucked up stuff they had learned about kids

And it was full of awful stories about things that should never happen to kids and I felt so glad that, in my short experience, I hadn't encountered anything like that. But it also got me thinking about how much "small" stuff that makes up a big chunk of the base of the piramid I mentally call "EVERYTHING FUCKED UP WITH THE SYSTEM", will never attract attention, or make sentational news while it still manages to fuck up the lives of tons of kids.

Last year I worked on the afternoons on a (I don't know how to say it in English) kind of after-school academy (?) to pay for my degree. Kids went there because they were lagging behind, because of bad behaviour, or they were doing fine but their parents were working. My job was helping them with humanities related subjects. I had two brothers in different classes, and I was warned about the older one (11yo, we'll call him Mike) because he was supposed to be real trouble, academically useless, and even violent. The truth was both kids displayed similar attitudes, which were considered cute in the little brother, while all the staff had come to an agreement that Mike was evil incarnate or something.

Sure enough, he tried to troll me from the begining, lied about homework and tests, refused to work,... I humoured him when he lied or said things to try to shock me, if he said "I can't work because I forgot my English book" I'd be like "oh what a TRAGEDY, but don't worry Mike I'll print out a hand out with exercises for you I literally have 20 English textbooks here" and he'd go "oh woah Miss you're not gonna believe this I just found my book" and I'd be like "spooky". I tried to work as much as possible with him (whithout ignoring the other kids, which, wasn't always easy by the way). He started to behave a lot better in my classes, put effort in his homework... I realized he was actually pretty smart, and also, that he was wildly insecure about it, I guess because everyone around him treated him like he was dumb. Sometimes he would lie about the subjects he had to work on, so my boss (science dude) let him stay two hours in my class instead of one in each, and then he'd just pull out his math homework in my class and dare me to snitch on him.

I won't forget the first day he came through the door and instead of going to his seat he came to my table to show me an Spanish language exam with what would be, in our system an A-. Fuck I would've put that on my fridge.

However, as I was seeing this development, my colegues kept mentioning what a fuck up the kid was and even said goodbye to the little brother but not to him and other very rude stuff.

One day, Mike very politely told me that another kid was making fun of him for being slow, and that if he kept it up, he was going to beat him up after class. He told me so I could, as the adult in charge I was supposed to be, do something to prevent it. But I just told the other kid to stop and kept working, and didn't realize he was serious until the hour was up and, true to his word, Mike picked up his stuff quickly and went behind the other kid. As soon as the glass door closed behind them I saw him grab the kid by his hoodie, yank him back and kick him hard in the back, throwing him to the ground. He was about to hit him again when I got to them and separated them. While I checked if the other kid was alright, Mike made sure I saw him throw his homework in the trashcan in front of the building.

I had to tell my boss about it and I felt awful, because I knew how it would look for Mike, specially since he hit a non-problematic kid who got all straight As. But as complex as you think the situation is, you just... cannot justify violence. Still, I tried to explain that I thought we should work with both kids, because on the one hand, Mike might have anger management issues, and on the other hand, the other kid had a pattern of manipulating the teachers to get them to punish other kids, and in particular, he enjoyed riling Mike up. But I think my boss only heard "evil child confirmed".

The next day, Mike had an hour with my boss and then one with me. I heard my boss's voice rising through the wall during the 1st hour and when his class finished he scorted Mike to my class and said "He's not going to do anything today, ok? He's just going to sit in a corner and not talk". I didn't understand. "But he was an exam tomorrow" I answered, and my boss said "He doesn't care, right Mike?". And I didn't want to agree so I just said "We'll see what we do, if you don't mind..." and kinda (softly, because I am a coward) closed the door on him.

Mike refused to even open his bag. I got the other kids started on their homework and went back to him, asked him if he wanted to tell me what had happened. He said no, but later he was clearly talking to another classmate about it and the kid he hit was behind them and he raised his hand and said "Miss, Mike just said you're an asshole." Suddenly Mike turns to him, and then to me, like, horrified, I shit you not, and he starts getting really worked up, and starts saying "That's not true! I didn't say that!" and other kid goes "You said "asshole", I heard you!", and this goes on back and forth for a minute until Mike just turns to me and says "But I didn't say it about you! I swear, you're not, you're not. He is." And at that every kid in the class goes *surprised Pikachu* because we all know that he means my boss, and they're all looking at me waiting for my reaction. And I don't know what the right thing to do is, because I can't just openly antagonize my boss in front of the class, but the kid is so upset, and I just blurt out a super lame "Mike, we don't say swearwords." And he says again "But it wasn't about you..." like he really needs me to know that, like he doesn't know that I'm on his side, man, I've been on this kids' side for months, and I look at him and I wish I would telepathically convey "I KNOW MY BOSS IS AN ASSHOLE AND YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE SHOUTED AT" while verbally saying "I know. I know. But we don't say swearwords, ok?" and he kinda calmed down and said "Ok", and I think he understood, that I had to scold him about the language, but that I wasn't denying the sentiment behind it. He opened his Spanish book and started to study for his exam.

I had agreed with my boss at the very beginning to end my contract in time for the last part of my school year, so I would be free to study for the exams, and the date was getting close, but as it was going to "interrupt" the kids' routine, and parents might complain, he wanted to make it seem as if something had come up suddenly in my life so I had to leave. So: I was forbidden from saying goodbye to the kids. This was very dramatic™ at the time, and I remember being like "fuck I'm gonna cry. and the children won't even know WHY". But don't worry I did actually get to say goodbye to them, because my boss overshares like hell he told some of the kids in his class that I was leaving (he told them I had to go back to my village or something) and then it was a big mess, because I didn't know any kid knew and suddenly a lil girl in my class goes "Miss, is it true that you're leaving?" and my brain went blank because I wasn't prepared and I CAN'T ACTUALLY LIE so I kinda went "I... might have to?" and annoying kid™ says "Not might, you will, [InsertMyBossName] just told us." And Mike, who had been uncannily well behaved since the incident the week before asks "You're leaving us?" like I have betrayed them or something and. Man. my heart. hurts. ok? I say that I'm staying until the end of the month still and he's like "That's fine" but he was super cold about it, and he ignored me for the most part of my last 2 weeks at the academy, he just read a book he had to read for class, refused to have any of the candy I brought for them the last days and I got the strong impression that I was being punished by someone less than half my age.

On what I thought was my second to last class with him but was actually the last, he came to the teacher table and asked me "Do you want to know something?", and I said "Of course, tell me" and he said "You're leaving on Thursday?" knowing this was a delicate subject, I nodded. He smiled and said "I'm leaving tomorrow... I told my mom. She's taking us out. My brother too."

We spent the last half an hour discussing Shrek, and memes. And I didn't make any effort to make them go back to their homework and I know that wasn't very professional but in my defense they mostly didn't have anything to do either way. When we were closing I asked my boss about the brothers and he said that the mom had come to tell him that she wouldn't be paying for the next month and he added "Hey, don't worry about Mike, he's a lost cause." I said "I really don't think so", and he just shrugged.

I was so glad, that for whatever reason (I like to think that I helped but probably it was the fight with my boss that did it) this kid had gotten serious enough with his mom that she believed him. That she realised that the adults that were supposed to help her kid, though that he was a mess, were actually so sure, so set on believing that he was a mess, that they were actually turning him into one.

I only saw Mike again once. I was running to catch a bus and the three of them (mother and kids) were, I guess, waiting for another bus. I smiled and waved at them while fumbling with my bag, laptop and coat and taking out my bus card and Mike lit up and waved shouting "Bye Miss [My name] :D!". And his mom narrowed her eyes at me and watched me until I got on the bus and disapeared from their lives. And you know what? I'm fucking glad she did. If she doesn't trust anyone who worked at that place? I'm fucking glad, I'm happy as long as she's listening to that kid. Because a bunch of full grown men and women, in charge of a teaching center, had decided that a kid was a lost cause, at the age of fucking 11.

A kid cannot possibly be a lost cause. They just can't. Kids are not a finished product, kids have just started, and if you're a constant presence in their lives you have to know that you're going to be a factor on the development of that finished product. You don't get to, Idk, dump seven spoonfuls of salt into a bowl of cookie doug and say "Pf, it's unedible, we migh as well throw a bunch of nails and a couple flip-flops in there".

I don't know where I'm going with this metaphor okay? but there's tons of Mikes out there. There's a ton of kids who need support, not punishment, not to be treated like potential thugs but like kids, which is what they are. It doesn't matter what you think they'll be in 10 years and it's irrelevant if you end up being right because now, in this moment, they are kids.

I guess, what I'm trying to say is, fucking be kind with children. okay? Please.

[survivormanhattanbeach]

Episode 1: “...too early to be shady?”-Ryan

There....are so many men and I'm overwhelmed. Also Keaton shading me during his intro is a whole ass mood 

I’m so excited to be playing with majority of this cast... too early to be shady? 

Oooooooofffff what the hell did I just get myself into. Julian’s here. He always finds some fucking way i swear to god... and then there’s Keaton who i pissed off in a prior BB game... which literally ended like 3 days ago for me.... and then i ahve Andreas form Kuang Si and Billy from IdlM.... what the fuck is wrong with my life right now I mean...... i’ll figure this out, let me stop having a heart attack right now

I am SO OVERWHELMED right now! All these messages from people that I think hate me, this is going to be fun! As of right now I'm most nervous about Sarah because I LOVE talking to her, she's so easy to talk to but we always do each other wrong and have never made it far together in anything SO yeah. I'm really hoping that I get on a tribe where I connect with a majority and/or two of them don't like each other so I'm not the first to go! I guess it's time to now... go and be social haha! 

When did talking to people become so hard??? Idk if it's because I've been away kind of for awhile and not talking to people but I feel like I'm the most boring person in the world AHHH. Hopefully things get better soon. I'm about to ignore that annoying red number two by the skype icon and play the game for a bit to maybe give me something to talk about with these people!! 

http://atleastyoumadejury.tumblr.com/post/182902334923 That’s me in this challenge. 

First night = first opinions! Let's go. -called isaac immediately to form a bond with him. He seems super stoked to have me in the season and we agreed to form a f2 deal. Honestly he is funny, adorable and iconic so I am not mad if I go to f2 with him. I will be loyal to him as long as I know he is loyal to me -mark is very social and I know he uses this to his advantage. Every cute thing he is saying, he is definitely saying to the other players -I can easily bond with basically everyone on this season so I feel like this is going somewhere. I can tell ppl are liking me so honestly I am fucking excited to play --went on a one world call with ryan, tom, madison, dani, isaac and myself and they are cool af. I know ryan and tom used to work together from the beginning of mykonos so I am kinda scared they are a definite power duo. Tom has already proven to be a good player in terms of strength and I can tell hes strategic. I REALLY REALLY WANT TO BE HIS #1 SO I WILL WORK ON IT. fuck I need to get on his good side to get far. i can tell. I just dont want him to screw me over - Junior is playing and I guess he is the shadiest person in the game? SO I will be on the lookout for that. -Ruthie needs to leave. -Keaton hates madison so I can use that to my advantage somehow ? well see. -I am going to continue to talk and be social but honestly I dont want to give away too much. Im back after a year so I hope I can go far this time. Fingers crossed

I’ve smelled some fake shit before, but nothing quite as fake as Ryan trying to squash the beef with me. I’m flutter my lashes and play stupid for a while, but in all honesty, I want him gone as early as possible. I don’t trust him, at all. Also, Dan is sneaky as fuck. So I don’t trust him either. Plus I’ve hosted him and I know he’s only in it for himself. He’s vote himself out if it meant he’d win the game. But then there’s Mark, who has played with and been burned by both Ryan and Dan. Between the three of them I’m just not feeling him. I don’t want to be his demise, but I wouldn’t be sad to use him to kill the other two then dump him before he gets farther than me. Kill three birds with Mark’s stone. As for y’all hosts, thanks for dumping me with Madison, Joey and Keaton. Who will keep me around just as a number. They think I’m stupid and I have no idea what I’m doing. Same goes with Brandon. Like I love “OH MY GOD HEWWO”ing my friends. Another main, another season where I’ll just do whatever I can to make it far. Here’s to a good season. 

VL Confessional: This is my greatest chance to FINALLY make an impact on Tumblr Survivor. The minute I was casted, my ranking average went up. What I want to do this season is to take advantage of the time that I have. I want to do well, I want to finally prove how good I CAN be. This is my opportunity to bond with a ton of other players, and I’m READY FOR IT. My mood rn: https://youtu.be/roJ5NSfmxvs

I feel like this game is lowkey a test of Madison and I’s relationship...

VL CONFESSIONAL I’m sitting here on my couch watching the TV They’re picking all the numbers of my favorite lottery I am so excited when fortune calls I’ve never been so happy with someone picking my balls.

Oh god, I shouldn't write any of those weird and unsettling oneliners that I have in mind right now, so.... Hello! Just hello! I'm back for another Tumblr Survivor fun time and I have no idea what to expect from myself for this season. Will I have motivation? HELL YEAH! Will I have the time to back it up? NOPE!!! So... let's start with a little cast assessment, shall we? I already know that I am lucky to have LUCY around, because I know her from another community. That being said, she is a great player, so if she is active this time around, she'll definitely make it further than last time... So far though, it doesn't look like that... :sadface: I am also THRILLED to see RUTHIE playing. I love her, and we only got to play once (in a BB game that ended after 2 weeks) and I happy to see her and I really hope we can work together this season!!! I have mixed feelings about MARK and BRANDAN rn, because I've played in TS with them previously. I pissed off Brandan a lot in Kuang Si when I told him that I wanted him out. I hope he's gotten over that, but I feel like he's not the type of person to forget. But I think he'll be willing to give playing with me another try, but he'll keep me on a short leash. Mark, I voted off in Flops, and then I flipped him to vote for me in the worst FTC of TS history. But the guy is strongheaded and idk how well I can work with that. I've had great conversations with TOM and KEVIN and I feel like they're people I can talk to a lot more, and maybe build a relationship with. I had some decent chats with SARAH, DANIELLE, ISAAC and MADISON. I can't place them yet, but I think I can get along with them. I got off the wrong foot with ISAIAH and RYAN a little, but they seem fun and I can see myself working with them in the future. Or maybe I am just imagining things here? Who knows.... KEATON, JOEY and BILLY, I tried talking to, but I am really not sure yet if we're on the same wavelength. But they seem active enough and open, and it's not even been a day yet. ;) JUNIOR, DAN, JAKE and JULIAN, I haven't spoken with at all so far. rip? --- Let me tell you that I really like it being 4 Tribes of 5 to start the season off (at least that's what it looks like). I don't care too much about being a top-placing player here. I don't think I'd be immediately at the bottom right off the bat, so I don't need that unneccessary potential challenge threat target right away. I think I've spoken to enough people and got a little bit of that Andreas personality across, so I at least have a foot in peoples doors, you know? Let's see how things shake up! I am confident for starters, but that's the point of it, isn't it?

I’ve only talked game with a few people which kinda scares me. I also think a lot of this cast has previous relationships and I only know like 2 people. I love Isaac, Jake, Ryan, and Mark. I need to start socializing more.

hellurrrrr we're back and better than ever! first tumblr org since like... July so I'm feeling pretty rusty. Thankfully I have a couple familiar faces in this cast so I'm not too nervous. I was pretty excited to see Dani cast... we literally went to middle school together LOL. I want to keep that a secret, but Joey already knows because Dani has her location set to my city UGH. So now I gotta hope that Joey doesn't blow that cover. I know Kevin from Zwooper but idk how loyal he actually will be to me. I know Dan, Ruthie, Isaac and Madison from previous games but I don't think we worked well together in them so whoops. RYAN is here which I'm excited for. I want to work with him, he seems sweet. I also know Sarah because she made Eddie cry so I already love ha. But Eddie told me she's crazy in games so maybe I should tread carefull with her for now. I think everyone else is a fresh face to me? So this should be interesting. Half of them haven't even added me yet though so they need to step their pussies up. I'm here to win since that's the only placement I could get that will beat my last placement LOL. But I'm not trying to let an ORG make me go cray cray like Crossroads did... but it probably will <3

Ok, so. This whole picking tribes thing, has just got to go. I have multiple people telling me they are putting me first and although I love being first for once, this might not be the best thing for my game. If a random person I haven’t played with picks me, that looks shady. If one of my MANY previous allies picks me, that looks shady. Oh and there’s that thing where Billy and I squashed beef, and hopefully that can stay because I don’t need a giant target on my back for billy being my only enemy in all of the games I’ve ever played. If this tribe swap is 4 tribes of 5 then I need to make sure my people pick wisely and make sure that they have the 3 they need to keep a majority. The only issue with that, is I’m essentially in the middle of 5 groups: Mykonos, Bermuda, Unova (Pacific Island), Guyana, and then anyone I haven’t played. Take the union of those sets and you have the entire cast Manhattan Beach (yes I did just use math language, no I am not ashamed).

Imma make Jake think im his bitch. “Oh Jake, ill vote out my best friend, and someone who I respect as a host to boost your ego!”

Alright, Day 1 is nearing its end and I've made some progress I feel? So to get right to it: I've spoken a bunch with Danielle and Kevin and they've spoken a lot with each other too, so we're trying to get together on a tribe of 3. The plan right now is to hopefully get one of us in the top 4 (me), I pick Kevin, Kevin picks Danielle, and we've got an easy majority if it's tribes of 5. Now, we don't know if we actually split up in 4 of 5, or 2 of 10, or 4 of 5 but we have Tribal Councils with 2 tribes together. It's impossible to call right now. As a small addition to my first confessional, some final cast assessments: JUNIOR: A very friendly guy. I feel like he's genuine, but he's definitely VERY friendly, and I am not used to that level of friendliness in TS. But I think we good rn DAN: We spoke about Germany and that's about it. We have a little basis. JAKE: We spoke a little about politics, so at least we spoke and have a basis. Not much more than that. JULIAN: Dude... you seem so nice, but you are giving off no confidence in yourself. I don't have much more to say than that right now. I fear that he'll be used as a number by someone rn --- I got some good chats with KEATON and ISAAC going. And that's about it! I hope that I get put on a tribe with KEVIN, DANI, LUCY, RUTHIE, TOM, KEATON... and maybe SARAH. Just bring on the tribes, so I can finally start playing this game. One World is too big for me.

I'm pretty confident with my score for this challenge, I think it's enough to at least show my future tribe that I can do my part in the challenges, and hopefully I get somewhat of a say in who will be on my tribe. For my social game, I'm definitely planning to use me being the first boot on Guyana to my advantage. I've heard from Andreas and checked a bit as well that there's some fierce competition in this cast, and I think I can slide by for quite a while as long as I make some good connections. I know Dani, Andreas and Ryan from outside of this season, and those will be some people I could rely on from the beginning (not sure about Ryan though for that one since we don't know each other that well). Also I don't know what it is about Ruthie, but she seems so sweet and I'd love to get to work with her further down the line.

I love my tribe so much! It is PERFECT! Literally they are all people that I've talked to since the game started and I don't have any issues with any of them. I'm really glad especially that Andreas is on my team and I think that all in all we will have a strong tribe going forward! I don't want to get too cocky but I do feel confident in my position on this tribe! Nowwww if only we can win and stay away from tribal council! 

Honestly, what is wrong with me? Another main season and it's One World? Negative. This is how I will die. I would rather eat glass than have to fucking message 25 people I don't care about. On another note, I love my tribe high key. Aesthetically, we're a really great looking tribe. We could all be models tbh. We all get along really well so if we go to tribal, I'll probably just tell everyone to vote me out, for my mental health and theirs hahahaha save them the trouble. Nah, jk I'll fight, but I don't want to think about like voting any of them out? I def feel closest to Mark, but I really enjoy Dani and Ryan's banter. Junior is so cute too ugh haha. I'm just happy I'm not with the other ugly asses on other tribes

ugh i hate doing these things but im gonna try and be better if i flop this season im deleting skype tbh. This cast is going to give me a solid chance to go deep i feel like. Ryan Billy Dan all want to be my F2, madison is close with me, dani and sarah have both expressed interest in going deep together tribes were picked and holy frick is this tribe incredible. Ryan and Dan and Dani all were in my top 5 of who i wanted to be in a tribe with and junior is actually dope as fuck. i just hope we dont lose and have to vote someone out. especially the first round bc junior is safe so id have to decide between dan dani and ryan and id probably self vote if that was the case

So now I’m like 200% not even gonna try to work with Mark or Dan or Ryan. They’re all on the same tribe. Which means they’re gonna make a final three and that’s something I don’t want to be anywhere near. That’s a dumpster fire that I do not want to be a part of. What sucks even more is, Mark told me I was number one of his list. But Dan was picked by him before I was. So clearly he lied to me. But to add insult to injury, I was picked last for a tribe. So I was literally no one’s number 1. So that sucks, a lot. I guess that’s a fun way to start the season. “Way to go! No one likes you enough to be your #1!” Always a bridesmaid, never the bride. It just makes me have the “anyone but me” mindset even more than I already have. 

Hello new tribe. I am content with the outcome. On one hand, it sucks that I ended in 5th or 6th place, but on the other hand, the draft was rather revealing. I planned to pick KEVIN while he picks DANI, but Dani is soo fucking popular, that she was the absolute first pick - and then she picked Ryan over both Kevin and I. That definitely alerts me, but oh well, I don't blame her or anyone, she's lovely. I am happy that I wasn't the last pick of my tribe, because that would have sucked a lot. Instead, I get to be around BRANDAN, who I actually want to work together with for the time being. RUTHIE picked me, which I am really grateful for, but there is no guaranteed to know how far up I actually was on her list, but at least 6 others were behind me. Now I picked LUCY. Which is a good thing. She rocks at challenges. But she's definitely on the bottom of the totem pole here. I would prefer to vote out JULIAN first if we ever go to TC as this tribe, but for that, Ruthie needs to like Lucy more than the guy who picked her... Either way, let's win challenges somehow and not worry about that. The people I care for should be okay..? Dani will be safe. JUNIOR will be safe by default. Orange tribe will be fun to watch, because I care about everyone but BILLY on there (sorry honey). I am actually scared for my #1 Kevin rn, because JOEY and MADISON are together, which is scary, and neither of them picked him... So he could go first :( Either way, I need to stay on Brandans good side and I need to build up a strong bond with Ruthie, so I can keep Lucy around...

VL CONFESSIONAL HOLY MOTHER OF GOD NVGHHYGCSZAAAWSDDXF I’M SAFEEEEEEEEEE. I’m honestly so happy about it. I gave it my all and I’m honestly shook. And then I realized Madison and I are on the same tribe... Welcome to the plotline of the season.

I have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair

VL CONFESSIONAL So yeah for this challenge Pussydestroyer69@yahoo.com is taken. Fun.

I'm not really sure how I stand with my tribe. Currently my main connection is Andreas, but I know I can't just rely on him. He was picked before I was and he could easily just let me go if I'm in the way of him getting to the first tribe swap. We seem to be doing well in the challenge, and I hope we do win. I personally at least kind of feel like the outsider, and I don't know the connections the others have with one another, so hopefully this gives me time to build a connection with them before we go to tribal.

alright so first off, fuck y’all for giving us this challenge. you’re gonna make me sit here all day reblogging a post because i’m competitive, but we’re probably going to lose because my tribe sucks. like i was the only one doing it for 2 hours. kill me. let’s talk about my tribe real quick. i think kevin is genuinely with me with is good. but when i got put on this tribe, dan messaged me saying that joey, madison, and isaiah are a friend group. i knew that joey and madison were “dating”, but the isaiah thing worries me because if it’s true, then um they have the majority. i’m trying to stay close with joey too since we played zwooper together before. i just really need to bank that him and Kevin would stick with me over the others if we go to tribal. um but i wish i was on a tribe with my same city sister, dani, or with Ryan. let me just say something about Ryan... yo why he gotta do me like this? when i saw ryan in this cast i thought omg that’s the cute ryan but he probably won’t pay me much attention... flash forward to last night when we ditched the main call to call one on one and basically called all night. ummm, are we about to have a survivor showmance? probably not, boys like to ghost me all the time so i don’t expect much but that boy is about to have me WHIPPED i just know it. anyways let’s hope i don’t lose the first challenge because i literally ALWAYS go to tribal first in orgs 

YAY! My tribe pulled out a win. I wish we would have gotten an idol clue but a win is a win and I will take it!! In all honesty it seems like Brandan, Andreas and I did all the work, but maybe Julian and Lucy did things too and just weren't... vocal about it. Lucy has talked to me one on one a bit but I don't know if she knows what she's doing haha. As for Julian, I really like him but he's been SO quiet, not talking in the tribe chat and not being very talkative via PM so we'll see. Right now I feel the closest with Brandan and Andreas and I hope that the three of us can maybe form some kind of alliance. I really hope that Kevin and Jake will be safe! I like Madison and Isasiah (I spent five minutes trying to remember how to spell that name and I still can't get it GRR) but I haven't talked to them as much as the others. I guess we'll see what happens haha! 

so julian can talk in the one world but not our tribe chat... interesting... although i can't talk. i BARELY ever talk in the one world aSLFJLSF

Well we came in first for the first challenge! I tried sooooo hard and I have never reblogged so much in my entire life. The tribe that came in last has two of my allies on it and I’m pretty sure they are in the minority. Madison, joey, and isiah have an alliance apparently. But Jake did tell me that Joey came to him and wanted to get Isaiah out. I really hope he isn’t fucking with him because I need Jake and Kevin to stay in the game!! So far I really love my tribe. I wouldn’t even know who to get rid of if it came down to it. I think Dans the least person I’ve talked to on my tribe. I should probably keep talking to people who aren’t on my tribe aside from jake/Kevin/Tom/Sarah. And I should probably start talking strategy but I like where I am so far social wise. 

My tribe is so fucking united it’s scary. We all just gel really well and literally called for an obscene amount of time this weekend. I really love Dani, we haven’t connected too much in pms yet, but she gives off such good vibes. I feel like she’s definitely a social threat, but maybe by aligning with her she can bring up my social game a little. I desperately need to talk to more than just my tribe mates, but honestly the only other person who attempts to talk to me is Tom, and he’s just kind of forward and weird. Like he asked to share idol clues and I was like....okay sis out of the blue. Idk just seems kinda shady. Pennekamp, or as I like to call them Pasta tribe, losing is honestly my kink. I really hope that someone from the friend group goes home, but honestly it might be Jake or Kevin going. Madison and Joey are for sure an alliance bc of hos22, and then I know Isaiah is friends with Madison bc she was talking about him on call one day in another game, so. Let’s hope one of them flips and one of those 3 gets the damn boot. 

Being on the Robinson Riptides tribe is lit af. Why? Mark and I are on the same tribe, so I have my number one, and then Dani picked me and I know she is a close ally as well. Plus now that we won the first challenge, Junior does not have immunity in the next round and in the event we go to tribal next round, he would be my first target on our tribe. I like Dan, but def not someone I want to take deep in the game, seems like a large threat. Who knows, could easily use him for a number. Also, I love Tom. I am so happy he is back with me in this game after playing in Mykonos. I don't think people understand how close we are, and I want to down play that as much as possible. He is my secret go to persona and I'm going to keep that hush hush for now. We are trying to get our sides to merge into an alliance while the one world business is still going on. Goal: Tom gets Sarah to want to make a chat with either myself, Dani, or Mark. And if this happens, then we have five people with great connections outside but also people I would want to work with for this portion of the game. Also, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THIS IDOL CLUE BEING USELESS AF? CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN? LIKE ACTUALLY EXPLAIN? HOW IS THIS CLUE SUPPOSE TO HELP ME? CUZ IT DOES NOT!

Yay, Immunity. The Pacific Panthers are so boring as a tribe. The chat is dead. Is it because of timezones? Is it because of age diversity? This tribe has it all! Lucy is still new to TS, Ruthie is busy most of the time when I'm around. Brandan and I don't mean too well rn.... And Julian? He is wearing Harry Potter's Cloak of Invisibility! Either way, I hope Kevin survives F20 TC, as he is a valuable pawn and friend to me already. I'd expect Isaiah to go here, even if Madison might be the smartest move, but it's too early for big moves I feel. See ya next round!

Okay this game is NOT back to basics Johnny, it's back to hell. Schoolyard pick tribes, messy players, ONE WORLD, it's just an absolute cluster truck. I'm doing well for myself though. Getting 4th gave me the opportunity to set myself up well with Sarah and getting lucky with Billy should make me safe on this small tribe for awhile. How I'm not happy to see Madison here though. I'm afraid there's going to be a gun pointed at me by her the entire time, so I'm thinking I'll be forced to go after her before anyone else when given the opportunity. I just have to keep conversation high, keep game level talk at a medium, and eventually get taken out by an idol/twist

https://youtu.be/wpsiisk5lQQ

So big surprise, I'm going to tribal first. Joey is getting on my nerves idk why he even signs up for these games if he's always working but anyways. He's safe so I have to play the role of the devoted housewife to save face. As of now the vote is on Isaiah which sucks because he is definitely an ally for me, but at the end of the day our tribe and the game in general needs strength and commitment. Ugh why must my tribe be so iconic. 

OK SOOOOOOO Basically my paranoid ass has convinced myself I’m going home already, but let me walk you through why SO Isaiah is just super inactive, not to the point where he is NEVER here but just considerably less when comparing him to myself or others and so me jake Madison and joey all talked among ourselves and in various 1 on 1 and came to the conclusion we are voting him out, ALLEGEDLY! but ever since this tribe started the rumor of Madison Joey and Isaiah being friends has been brought up SO many times so that is just engrained in my head, now I’m probably over thinking this part but it makes sense to me, if Isaiah purposefully was being less responsive to provoke the instinct in me and Jake to vote him out, perhaps he has an idol or perhaps he is just fine being the decoy vote among the three and it helps that friend group manage the votes if they know who/how we are voting and it makes me and jake feel “safe” which could lead to the not playing of an idol SHOULD either of us have one and get suspicious. THEN after we have this “set” plan I guess Isaiah told Madison that he was voting for Jake, and Madison told him to continue the lie of being open and honest to the 2 of us so we don’t suspect anything, now if he WERE voting Jake and Jake had an idol I think he’d be impulsive and paranoid (like me) enough to play it and THEN those 3 would in all actuality be voting me, leaving me defenseless and alone, flushing Jakes non-existent idol (it exists theoretically though) and then I go home first boot 3-2. So yeah I don’t feel good but I’ll never feel good I also just scarfed down from chick fil a and now I have to poop. Anyways I will be casting my vote was Isaiah later tonight because that is the only move I can make and pray that my show watching, self loathing attitude has made such a positive impact on Madison and Joey that they want to keep me around ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

apparently isaiah wants to vote me out after being inactive for 2 days... bitch suck my taint. everyone else says they're voting isaiah so umm fingers crossed?? a bitch is nervous af regardless bc i will cry if i flop and get 20th

[monetfatalia]

Heat Rises (Todoroki X OC)

Chapter 2

(A/N) Let me start off by saying I am so super sorry this took so long to get out. I was having some issues at home and just really wanted to give you guys a quality chapter rather than some half thought out piece. I hope everyone enjoys and please let me know what you think by commenting and voting!

All credit for the artwork goes to the original owner

Prologue, Chapter 1

•••

It was officially the first day of school, but it felt like the second after orientation day. I got to class early meeting up with the same three people before classes started for the day. We all had the same schedule so the teachers switched between classrooms instead of the students. We had normal core classes like English and math in the morning. I think Yaoyorozu was the only person in those classes who really answered. The rest of us were to excited for the hero basic training after lunch. Speaking of…

“Hey Rue! Come sit with us!” Kirishima’s voice echoed in the already loud cafeteria.

I saw him sitting at a table with a few others from our class. I walked over to the group and took a seat between Kirishima and Sero. I placed my tray down on the table and looked around at who else was with us quickly going through their names in my head.

“Hey you’re the girl with that humiliated Bakugo yesterday right? That was hilarious,” I think the guys name was Kaminari.

“Yeah, I guess so. That wasn’t really my intent but I’m happy you got a laugh out of it.” I replied taking a bite of my cold soba noodles.

“Seriously? That’s how you remember her. She was the third ranked during the quirk test yesterday,” Ojiro commented looking disappointed in Kaminari.

“Hey I can’t help it if she made an impression before class even started.” Kaminari shot back looking offended. I decided to just let them go at it and dig into my food. It was the best I’d had in awhile. Since Ryukyu left I’ve been surviving off of gas station snacks and the occasional sandwich.

“What do you think we’ll be doing today Rue?” Shoji asked molding one of his arms into a mouth. I looked up from my food and realized everyone was waiting for my answer.

“Sorry, what was the question?” I asked looking around at the table.

“Jeez Foster, I know the foods good but try to control the drooling,” Kirishima joked placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Oh bite the weenie Spike, not everybody gets a home cooked meal at the end of the day,” I jested glaring playfully at the red head. The table was silent for a moment before a cacophony of laughter broke out.

“You see! This is what I’m talking about! Are you gonna remember her by her class rank or by how badly she roasted Kirishima just now?” Kaminari snickered elbowing Ojiro. I looked at the two confused before joining the laughter.

“Where on earth did you come up with that anyway?” Sero asked still holding his stomach from the cramping caused by his laughter.

“Movies are the best source of one liners boys, take note.” I joked causing another round of laughter. Once everyone had calmed down we continued to eat our food, and Kirishima didn’t dare joke about my food again. I even ended up getting a fudge brownie from Sato, eating it happily. When the bell rang we were all happy to make our way back to home room making small jokes along the way. We had to split once we got to the classroom and take our assigned seating. The bell rung again signaling class had started and not a moment later the door slid open.

“I am HERE! coming through the door like a hero!” All might announced stepping into the classroom. Everyone began fawning in awe. Including Kirishima, the red haired spike in front of me.

“It’s really All Might.”

“So he is a teacher, this year is gonna be totally awesome!” Kirishima voiced making me snicker at how much of a fan boy he was.

“Hey look is he wearing his silver age costume?”

“I’m getting goosebumps, it’s so retro.” Ojiro made that comment.

“Welcome to the most important class at U.A. High. Think of it as heroing 101. Here you will learn the basics of being a pro, and what it means to fight in the name of good. Let’s get into it! Today’s lesson will pull no punches!” At the last comment All Might held up a flash card with the word “battle” written on it.

“Fight training!” Bakugo was the first to react looking ecstatic about it.

“Real combat?” Midoriya asked immediately after looking like the polar opposite of Bakugo.

“But one of the keys of being a hero is, looking good! These were designed for you based on your quirk registration forms and the requests you sent in before school started.” There was an immediate uproar of excitement and I was part of it. Ryukyu had insisted on designing my costume and sent the form in without even letting me look at it.

“Get yourselves suited up, and then meet me at training ground BETA.” All Might commanded. Everyone rushed to grab their costume case that were organized by our class numbers. I grabbed my own case that had a large number nine on it and went with the rest of the girls to the locker room. Everyone was opening their cases and examining if their costumes were to their liking while I just sat with mine in my lap.

“Foster, aren’t you gonna change into your costume?”Asui asked. She was already changed and looked amazing in her green and black skin suit.

“Yeah, I’m just a bit nervous to see what they came up with,” I answered honestly. Who knows what Ryukyu could have sent in.

“You won’t know until you open it,” Yaoyorozu pointed out adjusting her own revealing costume. I sighed knowing she was right and finally worked up the nerve to open it and see what was in store for me. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. I half expected Ryukyu to put in some absurd outfit as a joke but the costume I was looking at was perfect. The pants were skin tight leggings. Everything but the left leg was fashioned to look like jeans while the left leg was black with white horizontal stripes giving the outfit a little bit of chaos. The boots were knee high with a white base color and ombré detailing that went from sunset orange to a deep crimson. The top was basically a chest plate that was just big enough to cover anything indecent. It was to much skin to be worn on its own, but the jacket that came with made it look much more to my taste. The jacket was probably my favorite part of the outfit. It was a red orange mix with detailing on the hem and the bottom of the sleeves, and it stayed on with a small scarf like strap just under the high collar.

I didn’t waste a second putting it on and examining myself. The measurements were perfect and the costume fit me like a glove.

“Wow Foster! You look awesome! I wish my costume looked that cool,” Mina Ashido commented drawing the attention of the room to me.

“Thanks Mina, you look great too, the faux fur suits you.” I complimented looking over her costume. I was the last one to get my costume on so we all left after exchanging comments and met up with the boys near the tunnel into ground BETA. I caught sight of Kirishima almost instantly, walking along with Sero and Kaminari.

“Lookin good Spike, you too Kaminari,” I cat called causing the two to flush in embarrassment.

“Right back at ya Rue,” Kirishima called back approaching me with Kaminari by his side. We walked in together joining the rest of our class and I felt a comfortable ease wash over me as I walked with my friends.

•••

“You ready for this Ojiro?” I asked grinning at the blonde with a tail. We were making our way to where the bomb was on the map. We had ten minutes to get there and strategize before All Might would let the hero team come after us.

“Of course, you?” Ojiro responded leading us into a room. The bomb was right in the middle of it and the room was littered with stabilizing pillars.

“Yup,” I nodded enthusiastically. After watching Midoriya and Bakugou’s fight everybody was revved up to go all out in the exercise.

“So, how do you think we should go about this?” Ojiro asked stopping to lean on a pillar. I followed suit leaning on another pillar facing him.

“Well considering Todoroki’s ice quirk and Shoji’s overall strength we should probably keep on the defensive. I don’t think splitting up is a good idea even with the comms,” I stated tapping the communication piece in my ear.

“Yeah I agree, I say we wait here and defend in this room. Once they get here you should stay by the bomb and cover me while I go on the offensive. As long as they don’t touch the bomb we have a good chance of winning.” Ojiro stated stretching as he spoke. I nodded humming in agreement.

“Sounds good to me.” As I finished talking the loud air horn went off signaling the start of the match.

“Here we go,” I said breathing through my nerves. We both moved so that I was closer to the bomb ready to protect it, and Ojiro was closer to the doorway ready to strike. We stood waiting for some hint that they were getting close when a uneasy shiver ran up my spine. I barely had time to think as the floor and walls were covered with ice efficiently trapping Ojiro and I to the floor.

“Shit!” I muttered trying to break up the ice around my ankles and feet.

“This quirk is insane,” Ojiro commented trying to pry up his own feet. I heard foot steps from somewhere down the hall outside of the room and quickly untied my boots, slipping my feet out onto the numbingly cold floor of ice. I quickly signaled Ojiro to keep quiet putting a finger to my lips before stepping behind a pillar so I couldn’t be seen from the door. The footsteps got closer and finally reached the room we were in. Thankfully there was only one set of footsteps and I quickly assumed they belonged to Todoroki considering he was the one that froze the building. Ojiro took a defensive stance only to be halted at Todoroki’s words.

“Pry yourself up if you want, but it might be hard to fight me with no skin on the bottom of your feet.” I could hear the amusement in his voice and decided to make my entrance.

“I guess it’s a good thing I wore my boots then.” I stated stepping out from my hiding spot and sending a blast of wind in the ice user’s direction. At the same time I felt the freezing numbness on my feet travel up to my knees.

“How did you—,“ my voice dropped off when I saw he was standing in the same spot looking unfazed by my attack. The only evidence I’d gotten a hit on him at all were the pillars of ice he’d built as a support behind him.

“Apologies, but anything you try will be a waste of effort,” Todoroki said continuing towards the bomb.

“Wasted effort?” I retorted lowly. I used my quirk and pushed Todoroki’s outstretched hand from the bomb with a current.

“There’s no such thing.” I scoffed glaring at the two toned boy. The icy numbness travelled even farther covering my body up to my collar bones. He was holding my gaze with his own indifferent expression.

“You misunderstand. It’s not your fault we’re just playing on two different levels.” Todoroki declared turning back towards the fake bomb. I couldn’t help the smug grin that emerged on my face at the boy’s look of surprise. When I had pushed his hand from the bomb I had created a barrier of compressed air currents like I’d done to protect Ilda and stop Bakugou the first day. Only this barrier was made so it surrounded every inch of the bomb.

“Nice going Foster!” Ojiro exclaimed turning his body awkwardly to see what I’d done. I grinned triumphantly sending him a thumbs up before returning my gaze to an annoyed Todoroki.

“Don’t underestimate your opponent Todoroki, it’s not smart.” I told him, trying to conceal my labored breathing.

“You’re really gonna drag this out? What’s the point when you know you can’t possibly win?” Todoroki retorted with an icy gaze. My lungs were starting to burn with a need for oxygen but I knew Todoroki would take advantage of any break in my barrier. The ice numbing my body was only making it harder.

“My chances of winning are very possible Todoroki. Or did you forget the fifteen minute time limit on this exercise. By my guess there’s only about ten minutes left.” I panted starting to feel my muscles cramp from the ice and lack of air.

“Judging by your current state you won’t be able to keep this up for more then five minutes. So if it’s a test of stamina your after, be my guest.” Todoroki droned returning to his indifferent expression. He’d hit the nail on the head. I’d be surprised if I even managed that long as stamina had never been my strong suit. We all stayed in a tense silence for about two minutes before I was wheezing for even the smallest breath.

“Hey, Foster? Don’t overdo it, it’s just an exercise. I won’t be upset if you give up.” Ojiro insisted. He looked guilty and upset as he said it though. I understood where he was coming from but I had no intention of just giving up.

“Listen to him, this is only gonna get worse for you if you don’t—“ “No I can’t!” I cut off Todoroki’s words clenching my eyes shut and focusing on my breathing.

“The fact that I’m still standing right here in front of you. It means that I’m not backing down I’m willing to give everything I’ve got. I don’t need your pity Ojiro. I’m not giving up, so please come and get me Todoroki. Give me all you’ve got,” I croaked barely getting the words out between breaths. I had to squint to keep my eyes open as I got dizzy and lightheaded. My vision was blurring and I could feel my control over my quirk slipping.

“Foster enough! Yo-......need..........stop.” I knew someone was talking to me but it all sounded like somebody had stuck my head underwater. And just like that my vision got spotty before fading completely to black, dropping me into unconsciousness.

•••

Waking up after passing out is nothing like they show you in the movies. There’s no sudden abrupt consciousness where you’re aware of what happened, but it’s not as dramatic as waking up with no recollection at all. When I opened my eyes it was actually pretty boring. I stared at the cream colored ceiling for a few seconds before slowly sitting myself up knowing not to move to quickly. I’d fainted quite a few times in the past since it was a side effect of overusing my quirk.

“Good, you’ve woken up. You overexerted yourself quite a bit dear,” Recovery Girl spoke up watching as I came back to my senses.

“You’ve been unconscious for about ten minutes. I’d prefer if you stayed and rested a bit longer but you can return to the battle training if you want. To observe only of course” She added turning her attention back to Midoriya who was still passed out on the bed next to me. I got to my feet slowly and pulled on my jacket before thanking Recovery Girl and walking out. My pace was pretty sluggish but I made it back to the monitor room at ground Beta in time to see the end of Kirishima and Sero’s match against Tokoyami and Asui. I stayed in the back leaning against the wall for the rest of the matches. Once all the matches were over the whole class minus Midoriya gathered at the exit for ground Beta.

“That’s a wrap! Super work. You really stepped up to the plate, and we didn’t have any major injuries. Except for Midoriya. You should be proud, excellent first day of training all around.” All Might announces once we were all gathered and listening

“It’s nice to hear some encouraging words after our home room class. Mr.Aizawa was kind of a buzzkill.” Asui commented.

“I’m happy to bring such staggering positivity! That’s all for now folks. I should go and check on young Midoriya’s progress. Now watch, as a pro exits like he’s got somewhere to be!” All Might concluded before dashing away faster than the eye could see.

“Ok you guys that, is a hero,” Kaminari gushed

“Aww I’ll never be able to run that fast,” Ojiro huffed.

“Not with that attitude you won’t,” I jested attracting the attention of the class.

“RUE!” A chorus of voices called out before I was tackled into a group hug consisting of Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero. I couldn’t help but laugh at the trios actions along with a couple other students in our class.

“I saw your matches, you guys did great.” I complimented once they released me from their crushing group hug.

“Are you kidding! You were way cooler!”

“It’s crazy how you put the whole match on halt like that. Shouldn’t you still be resting?”

“You were so manly! Even if we couldn’t hear what you said, Ojiro filled us in after the match.” All three of them blurred out at the same time still obviously pumped up after their own battles.

“Seriously though, we thought you’d be out longer. How come you got back so quickly?” Ojiro asked taking hesitant steps towards our rowdy bunch.

“It’s a side effect of my quirk,” I paused tucking my bangs behind my ear anxiously. “The more I overuse it the harder it is to breathe and take in air. Usually I stop using it before I pass out.” I explained quickly to my small group of worry.

“Why go that far though? It was only an exercise.” Kaminari questioned looking at me in genuine confusion. I understood his confusion, the faces of the other three confirmed their shared question.

“Why wouldn’t I? Each exercise we do here is to make us better heroes. No one would hold back in a real fight. Take Midoriya for example, he’s still in the infirmary because he did everything in his power to win the match at his current level. I just wanted to do the same.” I recited firmly, truly believing my own words.

“Well said Foster,” Yaoyorozu commented surprising me as I realized the four boys in front of me weren’t the only ones listening to my little speech. Most of the class had already started walking back to the main building with the exception of Yaoyorozu, Ashido, Asui, Bakugo, Uraraka, Tenya, Todoroki, the four boys and me.

“Uuhhh…we should probably be heading back to class now, wouldn’t want to be late.” I stammered feeling my cheeks burn in embarrassment after so many people heard me. To my relief everyone agreed and started the walk back to the main building together, all tension leaving as comfortable chatter took over. I stayed towards the back of the group having some space to myself. My lungs still stung a bit with each breath I took as I fell behind the group step by step. Nothing I couldn’t handle though, it would fade within a couple hours. I could feel somebody’s gaze on me and looked towards my class ahead of me scanning through them til my eyes met a heterochromatic pair, unmistakably unique. Catching my gaze I watched as Todoroki slowed his pace to drop to the back of the group and fall in step with me.

“Is it worth it?” His voice was monotone but his eyes gave away his swirling curiosity.

“What do you mean?” I sighed focusing my eyes back ahead of us.

“You explained the side affects of your quirk earlier. Is using it so recklessly really worth suffocating yourself.” I flinched at his observation , something I knew wouldn’t go unnoticed by those observant eyes of his.

“That’s a harsh way to put it, but to answer your question yes it is.” I started, not facing his inquisitive eyes. “If my temporary suffering can save someone in need, then there’s no doubt that it’s worth it.” I finished the sting in my lungs spiking from talking and walking simultaneously. Todoroki didn’t speak again after that staying in step with me the whole way back even as we fell behind the others.