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#ok I lied I have so. many. thoughts.
feekins · 1 year
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no thoughts head empty only tiny teen Nai and LORG CONRAD
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lafresnaya · 8 months
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big day for my thoughts of things other than mike crew.
only listened to his statement 3 times today. as a treat i'm going to ramble on about his cadence; it's one of the reasons i've been able to listen to it *checks notes* at least 30 times in the last week.
it always catches me off-guard, because he makes pauses at places i don't expect him to. normally, when people speak, they pause at joining or connecting words, but mike constantly, throughout his statement, stops at odd places, like:
"exists in my mind... completely detached"
"dreamed that night of... shifting, branching"
they're not indicated in the transcript, because they're too short to really count, but it happens multiple times throughout his statement, like he's struggling for words, having difficulty either recalling or articulating what had happened. i adore either possibility, or both at the same time, because for the former you have his self-admitted "sometimes it's hard to keep track" & for the latter you have the obviously traumatic childhood and his "i'm not usually the sort for speeches".
i think when i first listened to his statement back in 2020, it kind of annoyed? me? because i was so used to mr. j. sims, oxford graduate, and his smooth posh voice, but now that my eyes have been opened it's just part of his charm.
it's got to be something about the dopamine expectation vs. actuality thing; if you know something too well it gets tiring, which is how i get sick of songs when i loop them. but even though i know basically every word of those 14 mins where mike crew speaks, i don't know the way he says it with 100% certainty, so each time i listen i'm treated to several surprises along the way and my brain loves it!!
(also tangentially related -- i always expect him to say 'decade' when he talks about the first 'real' storm in 10 years, because of course 10 years is a decade,, but maybe that's my literature-brain speaking? which is interesting because i'd thought with the amount of book-hunting mike's done he'd be more used to fancier terminology. or maybe he's just more utilitarian in his speech. or i'm just reading too much into a single word choice in a 1.5k+ word statement, which is far more likely)
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astarlightmonbebe · 9 months
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i'm only at the beginning of li tongguang's descent into obsession (eps 17-18), but already it's both hurting and hitting. hurting, because we know li tongguang's capabilities, and his level headedness, and the potential he has, that he seems to throw out due to this obsession. hitting, because when you think about it, the obsession storyline and characterization does make perfect sense. obsession like that is a double edged blade, which can turn from love to hate, childish belief and joy to embittered rage in a second.
on one hand, it's painful to watch ltg's childlike desperation when faced with ruyi again. we want to grit our teeth and think of him as idiotic, unable to take a hint. but the reality is that it's a completely normal response to be expected from him. i mean, it's a dream come true, to see the person you 'love' the most in the world to be whole in front of you. it's probably what he could only dream about, especially being the one to apparently find her bones and bury them.
on a deeper level, ltg's initial reaction is very much a manifestation of his inner child, almost peter pan-like in the 'child that never became an adult/grew up' way. by that i mean to say the desperate urge to please, the constant worrying, and the oscillation between hot and cold moods are all so indicative of someone who grew up in an insecure/unstable environment, usually with volatile or simply unavailable authority figures. from what we can gather, he had no father, his mother wasn't in his life ("she doesn't want him around, nor can she bear for him to be away, so that's why he's like that" per empress zhaojie's words to ruyi). the one authority figure that entered his life to offer some semblance of guidance was ruyi, and even though it's clear that she held care for him, she was also a twenty year old assassin used to training subordinates, not children. her mentorship style is clearly so different when you hold ltg and yang ying side by side, and we know from ruyi's own mouth that she doesn't consider herself to have taught ltg well, and wants to remedy that through/with yang ying (i'll probably make a whole different post comparing this and the affects of this after watching some more episodes lol - there are bullet points in the drafts). so even though ruyi was his authority figure, she was still an emotionally unavailable one who couldn't meet ltg on the level he probably needed at that time in his life, and which no one probably ever did. hence his up and down reaction and actions.
it intrigues me, too, because i think, in a very subtle way, ltg is very much a character foil to ruyi in that he reflects some of her worst attributes, or more accurately represents the sort of person she was, or at least acted like (yuan lu's comment about how ltg has ruyi's gaze was meaningful outside of the jealousy arc - to me at least). i saw someone make a really interesting comment on how ltg's devotion to ruyi parallels ruyi's own devotion to empress zhaojie, which i'll also probably comment on more later.
obviously, ltg's obsession stems from an issue much larger than ruyi herself - she just happens to be the unfortunate target of it. and, clearly, i know his descent into it will be ugly, if understandable. i understand ruyi wanting to leave that part of her life behind, but also - to think that maybe many of the issues faced in future eps could have been avoidable if she'd been upfront with li tongguang about her identity early on.
#star stumbles#a journey to love#一念关山#cdrama#my thoughts#li tongguang#eps 17-18#sorry if i jumped from one point to another this is just a stream of consciousness#and by that last sentence what i mean is that if ruyi had acknowledged him#and then told him something like 'i'm on a mission right now so don't do this or that' etc#even without explaining her situation. i think he would have been much more toned down#of course there is a chance it would have fed his delusions but really anything she did would do that#but not acknowledging him is worse in so many regards#especially when he has a whole thing (elephant in the room sized issue) about abandonment and acknowledgement#his future irrational behaviors are a child demanding to be seen/heard#which is like. embarassing! because we know his potential we saw it but now he's just reduced to this#but i think it's true to the sort of character and story he has. which is the sad part.#ok...i had one more thought but i've forgotten it twice now so uhhh#onto ep 19 in a bit. i will be cringing through it#yeah but i just can't get over his personal reaction right after leaving in ep 17#because that is EXACTLY how children with emotionally abusive/manipulative parental figures act#the anxiety about pleasing them the dread you messed it up the desperate urge to fix it....#it's really sticking with me#honestly some have argued that ruyi was abusive and i don't combat that but it's out of pocket#for the time period/context lol. also not really the point if that makes sense
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nomoretumbler · 2 months
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just watched an american werewolf in london…………… WHAT THE FUCK /POS IN A VERY CONFLICTING WAY.
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mx-mystic · 1 year
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So, because I know from being on AO3 and personal experience that there is quite a bit of overlap:
Good Omens fans, how are we all handling the fatal combination that has been Season 2 and the new Hozier album?
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mios-axe · 2 years
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The owl and her serpent brother
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fardf150 · 3 months
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fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
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tpwrtrmnky · 12 days
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lockdown
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[ID 1: Three-panel comic, first out of four, with crudely drawn stick people.
Panel 1: The sky is blue and peaceful, with some clouds. Someone says "Ah..."
Panel 2: An orange person with dog ears is laying on the grass.
Orangepup Dogsaturated: "Despite the weirdness, it's nice here.
I think... I'm enjoying my fate as an orangepup dogastur-"
They are interrupted by barking.
Orange: "Huh?"
Panel 3: A green person with dog ears and a tail, who is holding a gun, stands over Orange. There is a tree in the background and some windmills on top of a hill in the distance. The barking continues.
Green: "Comrade Hot Pink is sounding the alarm. Come quick. We're going on lockdown."
Orange: "Huh? What are we-"
Green: "No time. Now."
ID 2: Three panel comic continuing from above.
Panel 1: Orange is led by Green down some stairs from outside.
Orange: "What's going on? Expository doctrine please?"
Green: "It's too dangerous. Safety first, explanation after."
Panel 2: Green shuts a vault door as Orange and a blue person with dog ears and sunglasses, as well as some sort of bandolier and a walkie-talkie, watches. The room is a plain beige with a simple ceiling light.
Green: "There."
Orange: "ok can someone explain now"
Blue: "Allow me."
Panel 3: Zoom in on Blue, who looks down dramatically.
Blue: "You must understand, young Orange. As much as we wish to trust you, there are circumstances where safety for the commune comes first.
We are aware that you have certain... Rhetorical susceptibilities, and so could not risk having you make contact with them."
Orange: "Who? Who are they?"
Blue: "One who destroys discourse."
End ID 2, begin ID 3.
Three panels once again.
Panel 1: A split view of a loft and the bunker. A hot pink person with fluffy ears is speaking on the walkie-talkie, while an onyx-colored person with dog ears and long claws is aiming a rifle out the window.
Hot Pink: "Comrade Blue. Onyx is ready. Do we have majority ethical consent?"
Blue: "Take the shot. If we later vote against, I will take accountability for the decision myself."
Orange: "What"
Panel 2: A view of Onyx staring down the scope of the rifle from outside of the window, as Blue narrates.
"You must understand, Orangepup Dogsaturated.
There are many who despise us. Many who would do anything to see us destroyed."
Panel 3: The narration continues from a view from the outskirts of the farm area. A mountain is in the distance, and a pair of grayscale legs are in the foreground, framed by some tree trunks.
"The horrific lesson we have learned...
Is that there is no low that outsiders can be trusted not to sink to.
And the danger of this interloper lies in their ability to provide others with all the excuses they need to justify their hatred."
Interloper: "I..."
End ID 3, begin ID 4. You know what this image is by now.
Panel 1: The Most Illiterate Person Alive, a grayscale individual wearing a book on their head, emerges from the woods, saying: "I am the most illiterate person ali-"
They are cut off by a view of Onyx pulling the trigger, which results in a view of the bullet going straight through the head of the most illiterate person alive, emerging in a shower of gore.
This continues to be a crudely drawn stick people comic.
Panel 2: Inside the barn loft, Hot Pink and Onyx are contacting the others.
Hot Pink: "Comrade Blue, we've confirmed a direct hit! Target eliminated!"
Onyx: "Wait. There's movement."
The Most Illiterate Person Alive: "Holy.
Fucking.
Shitfuck."
Panel 3: A front view of The Most Illiterate Person Alive, blood seeping out of the hole in the front of their face. They are framed in darkness and surrounded by a menacing red glow.
The Most Illiterate Person Alive: "I cannot believe"
The text color is inverted and changes to a more hostile font.
"You actually thought that you had any chance of killing me?"
End ID.]
Start - Previous - Next
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shellshocklove · 1 month
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brat two: i might say something stupid | joel miller
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pairing/AU: joel miller x brat!female!reader – no outbreak
summary: joel is continuing to have a brat summer.
warnings: this is an 18+ fic so mdni! age gap, enemies to lovers vibes? swearing, use of pet names, smut, brat taming?, dom!joel, some daddy!joel, manhandling, some light bondage, a little exhibitionism? a little dacryphilia, praise, degradation (whore, slut), some sub space territory, edging, creampie, unprotected sex (don’t do it!!), no use of y/n
a/n: ok, so a part two to this!! i’m giving reader a backstory in this so if that’s not your cup of tea and prefer the reader to be a blank slate, then maybe this isn’t for you. as always i wanna give a little shout out to @dustydaddyyy for always helping me when i'm stuck! <3 i know it's demure fall soon, but there's still some brat summer left, so happy reading! 💚
main masterlist / series masterlist / ao3
from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 this account stands with palestine. the creator of tlou is a zionist, and the second game is largly based on israel/palestine. please, everyone who interacts, educate yourself about the genocide happening right now, and support/donate.
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Joel.
Joel. Joel. Joel.
Joel Miller.
Miller. Miller. Miller.
The cicadas rattled in the breeze coming through the window of your childhood bedroom. It was hotter than Satan’s ass crack, and sleep couldn’t pull you under. The hem seam of your ratty sleep shirt was fraying, and you couldn’t keep yourself from picking at it – pulling at the threat.
Pull, pull, pull.
Joel Miller. That was his name on the mailbox, but he’d only told you Joel. Just Joel.
Yes, sir. Please, Daddy. Bye, Joel.
With a huff you sat up, your back resting against the headboard as your eyes rolled over the darkened room. The shadows shapeshifted before your eyes like ghosts, and you wondered if you deserved to be haunted.
It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours.
You could still feel the phantom stretch of his cock inside you, and your cheeks were sore from his spanking, but it was nothing compared to your thoughts plagued by him.
God, you felt crazy, like a little girl with a school crush on the teacher.
Except, you didn’t have crushes, didn’t like, or fall in love, with anyone. People had a crush on you, people fell in love with you, people liked you.
Biting down on the soft skin of the inside of your cheek, you ripped away the thin blanket covering your bottom half as your feet touched the cold hardwood floor.
The switch on your bedside lamp clicked as the warm glow seemed to scare the ghosts away. The ratty shirt fell over your knees as you walked across the room and flung open the door. A triangle of light cut the hardwood floor in two as you made your way down the hall and stairs. The slapping of bare feet against wood echoed against the tall ceiling, and eyes followed you from the faces on the wall.
Stepping into the kitchen, you were alone. Pierre had left right after dinner, and Eva had left early with her daughter. You didn’t like to keep them longer than needed, especially on weekends. Your father would pay them the same, anyway – and it was just you here.
You hated the other house. It was no place to live, it was a place of business, for politics. You hated this house too, but for other reasons – too many memories, plastered on smiles and lies. The dentist had told you to start wearing a night guard when they divorced, but you’d stopped wearing it when you went to college.
Grabbing a glass from the cupboard, you made your way over to the fridge. Your whole body felt heavy, your head rolling off your shoulder when something caught your eye in the backyard.
It was gone.
“Shit.”
An ice cube escaped the rim of your glass and split into a thousand pieces on the tiled floor. You pulled your glass from the dispenser in the fridge, and hunkered down, ice melting between your fingers.
With a sigh you watched the splintered ice vanish, dripping in an erratic rhythm that added to the small puddle on the floor. You didn’t want to feel like this. Why were you feeling like this?
You left the glass of ice on the counter– let the ice melt on the floor and escaped through the sliding doors into the backyard. The sky was bright with light pollution over the trees, and everywhere the buzzing of cicadas filled your ears. With a sigh, you fell into one of the chairs, the cushion stiff against your back as your eyes landed on the large oak. You trailed your eyes over the branches, the one’s you’d known every crook and cranny of when you were a child.
It was gone.
The small crooked, and probably dangerous, treehouse where you’d spent so many hours hiding away as a child. Not that they ever noticed, your parents, too busy yelling at each other to see where their daughter had vanished.
Of course it was gone.
Gone, like the happy little girl you’d used to be. And what had taken her place? A party girl? A mess of a woman hiding behind the disguise of a sharp tongue?
Jesus Christ, you needed to get your shit together. Distract yourself– pull yourself away from all the feelings you couldn’t control.
Shifting uncomfortably, you fished your phone from where it had drowned in the cushions. The bright blue light burned your eyes as you scrolled, pulling you from everything real to unreality. Plastered on smiles and perfect bodies, sunny beaches, and aesthetic photos. You handed out hearts like they cost nothing, and pretended you hadn’t seen your DMs.
Still, you couldn’t shake the thought of him. The way the weight of him had felt over you, how he’d spoken, voice rough and commanding, but still playful. It was like you were guided by a puppeteer when your thumb hovered over the google search.
Joel Miller.
You didn’t know what you’d expected – Joel Miller wasn’t a one in a million name, and now you were scrolling through every Joel Miller famous enough to throne at the top of a google search. But, you weren’t going to give up that easily. You moved on to Facebook. He was old, he’d have to have one.
Bingo.
There he was. A few years younger, his hair a little messy, smiling bright. His profile was private, and you sure as hell weren’t sending him a friend request, but something inside you screamed to know more about the man you’d let come inside you less than twenty-four hours ago.
You tried to click your way through his pictures, but there was nothing to see. Next, you tried the about page: Lives in Austin, Texas (this you obviously already knew)… born September 26th… Male… Single… You felt a smile tug at the corners of your mouth, as you continued to scroll... Works for Miller Contracting… And finally, his family: Tommy Miller.
His brother’s profile needed a lesson in internet safety. This man shared everything and all for strangers to see. You flicked through photos of neighborhood cookouts, date nights with his soon to be wife, the same graduation pictures of a girl you’d seen hanging on Joel’s wall.
‘Proudest uncle in the world! Congratulations, Sarah Miller! 😄❤️ The smartest and most talented Miller! 🙌’
Your finger hovered over his daughter’s name, curiosity gnawing at your insides. Shaking your head, you clicked away. You could own up to stalking his Facebook, and his brother had basically invited you to stalk, but his daughter? It felt like crossing a line you couldn’t come back from. Back on Tommy’s profile you noticed he also worked for Miller Contracting.
A family business.
Continuing your research, you clicked through to the business’ profile. The profile looked to be run by Tommy, with frequent updates on projects they’d worked on, from renovations to outdoor landscaping, to new condos, Miller Contracting had a broad resume, but the contact person was set to one Joel Miller.
A thought tickled at the back of your brain then, and your gaze flicked from your phone to the low-lit backyard. A smile you couldn’t fight back pulled at your lips.
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The sun beat down on the men as they worked. A bright yellow dot in the clear blue sky. From your bedroom window you watched them, how they’d turned the previous green patch of grass into a deep moldy hole.
Convincing your father had been easy enough; he’d shrugged, and given his default answer to pretty much any request you had, which was a bored ‘Yes, sweetie.’ For years now, the rule of thumb with your dad had been: as long as you didn’t bother him and his busy schedule, he didn’t care what you did. 
Well, that wasn’t entirely true. As long as nothing you did reflected badly on him, and especially on the carefully curated image of ‘loving family man’ his constituents seemed to love so much, he didn’t care. The Governor of Texas couldn’t have his daughter’s bad decisions cost him votes, after all.
Your mother had always said it, always complained over her extra dry martinis, that your father only cared about one thing in his life, and it wasn’t his family. Your face soured as you thought about it. 
Votes. 
Your mother hadn’t been right about a lot of things in your life, but she had been right about this. Votes, and power. That’s all he’d ever cared about. It had been like that ever since you were a child, and over time, you’d learned to exploit that fact like you would a weakness, holding it as leverage over his head if he ever told you no, which he naturally never did. The agreement was silent, but clear as day; as long as you got your way, you would cater to his image, and behave. 
And you did; showed up when needed with a smile that hurt your cheeks, kept up his image, and in turn you got your way.
The swimming pool was just another ask in a long line of wishes. He’d questioned you at first, ‘You want to build a pool in the middle of summer?’ The pool you didn’t care for, it was the men who’d build it. You’d given your father your look, the one where you tipped your head down slightly, bit your bottom lip and looked at him with doe-y eyes. He’d had a landscape architect draw up something for you by the end of the week, and by Monday he’d had the city approve the changes to the premises. He’d given you a rise of his eyebrow when you’d pitched the contractors you wanted for the job, but nevertheless, he’d put his assistant on the job right away.
They’d arrived bright and early this morning, their shouts over loud machines pulling you from your slumber. You’d pulled your pillow over your head, dying to catch some more Z’s, it was summer break after all, but the pull of seeing him again was too strong. The excitement bubbled in your chest, and a satisfied grin spread across your face when you’d realized your plan had worked.
Joel Miller was in your backyard, standing under the oak tree with his hands on his hip, as he carefully watched over his crew. His work clothes fit him just as well as the t-shirt and jeans he’d worn at the club, but he looked less polished– his hair messier with a carpenter’s pencil tucked behind his hair. Your eyes trailed over him from where you watched from the house, how he moved about the site, helped his men when needed, evaluating every step, studying the drawings carefully as he ordered his men around with the same authority you’d come to know him for after the night you’d spent together.
If all of this went well, you’d have him again.
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“Looking good, guys! But it’s a bit loud,” you shouted over the excavator, one arm raised to shade your eyes from the sun from where you stood at the edge of the veranda.
You watched how the men milled about, squinting up from their work at you. Their gazes lingered over your body, they weren’t subtle about it, and the little outfit you’d thrown together seemed to do its job, a short summer skirt with a matching top– it was hot out in the Texan sun, and you wanted to make it hotter.
“We’ve been disturbin’ your beauty sleep, princess?” One of the men spoke up, and your eyes narrowed at his use of the pet name. His grin was too confident, hiding his laugh between his teeth. You set your eyes on him and gave him a pitying look.
“Yes, actually! It’s hard work looking this good, but you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?” you snapped back. A sound of snickering laughs from the men at their coworker’s expense could be heard through the yard, and you felt a saccharine smile cover your face.
“So, who’s in charge of all this noise anyway?” you asked, voice bored, when the laughter had died.
“You gotta take that up with Miller,” another one of the men replied, your first victim quickly forced into silence.
“And who’s that?”
The man nodded his head in the direction of the man you’d weaved into your web. He didn’t look impressed where he stood under the shade of the oak tree watching you. He had his arms crossed over his broad chest, the fabric stretching around his biceps, as he shook his head at you as you walked closer.
“Mr. Miller.” You couldn’t help the pleased smile spreading across your face.
Clasping your hands loosely behind your back as you pushed your chest out innocently, you slowly stepped closer, his jaw clenching tighter with each of your careful steps through the grass.
“We’ll try ‘nd keep the noise down f’ya until nine am, Miss, but after that we’ll need to use our bigger tools if ya want this done before the summer ends.” He kept his voice steady and professional, his southern drawl like soft silk in your ears. His eyes never left your face once, even with the deep neckline of your top.
Standing a little too close to him, to be considered appropriate for someone who you’d just met, your teeth caught on your bottom lip coquettishly. “Oh, I want you to use your big tool that’s for sure.” It sounded ridiculous, and you had to bite down harder to keep from bursting out laughing.
Joel didn’t seem to think it was funny. Something flickered in his gaze, before it hardened, eyes boring into yours as he asked you through his teeth, “Whatchu think your doin’, huh?”
You shrugged playfully with an exaggerated sigh, “I don’t know, Mr. Miller, isn’t it obvious?”
“Oh, ‘s obvious alright.” He shook his head in disbelief, and looked away for a beat, before his eyes found yours again.
“It’s so hot out this summer,” you continued your jest with a hooked finger along the hem of your shirt, tugging at it, “I just wanted something to cool down.”
He narrowed his eyes at you, “‘m sure you did.”
Continuing your game, you widened your eyes in an attempt at feigning innocence, “But I don’t mind breaking a sweat if need be.”
“’nd how do you like to break a sweat, princess?” he asked, putting pressure on the nick name his men had given you.
“Oh, I think you already know that, Mr. Miller.”
Joel’s eyes hardened as the flirty words fell from your lips. Shifting his weight from one leg to the other he raised a finger at you. “Listen’ up, brat,” he told you in a lowered voice, “Ain’t nothin’ more happenin’ between us, you understand? It’s inappropriate– you’re my employer and I don’t do that shit.”
It was almost too easy. Biting back a smile, your thoughts wandered back to the last time you’d had him like this; riled up, and willing to put you in your place. A slick wetness coated the gusset of your panties, already, at the thought.
“I understand, Daddy.”
With a sigh Joel turned away from you with a shake of his head, muttering under his breath, “You’re ridiculous.” 
You were, he was right. But it was so fun. 
A smirk tugged at your lips when he turned back to look at you. He wanted to say something, you could see it in the way he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his hands fidgeting on his hip, but he changed his mind as he shook his head again. 
Victory had never tasted so sweet.
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All week you’d played a game of cat and mouse with Joel. One day you’d ignored him completely as you flirted with the crew, exaggerating your laugh at jokes that weren’t even close to being funny, and touching too many sweaty biceps to count. Then the next you never left him alone, buzzing like a mosquito in his ear asking all kinds of silly questions, slipping in an innuendo or two, and teasing him for a reaction other than an annoyed grunt.
He’d have to break at some point. You could see it in his eyes. He might play the annoyance up, but there was a softness to the way he looked at you. It was there– you weren’t making that up!
The sound of the juicer buzzed in your ear as you chewed on your lip. Your hand rested lazily on the kitchen counter as you stole glances out the window as you waited. Pierre was quiet as he worked, only throwing a curious glance your way every once in a while, as he mixed together the jug of lemonade you’d requested.
The day had scorched since early morning, and you’d had no choice but to throw on your skimpiest bikini. A smile tugged at the corner of your mouth at the thought – well, there was more appropriate outfits for this heat, but you didn’t want that.
What you wanted, was to get your brains fucked out.
You’d played all your cards right, but nothing had seemed to make Joel simmer over with a need to put you in your place again. In the need for a new plan, you hoped showing off your body to all his men while serving them a nice cold glass of lemonade would do the trick, hoping he’d get jealous. The pool had already started to take shape, and your time was starting to run out.
“Here you go, ma belle,” Pierre slid a newly filled jug of ice-cold lemonade down towards you over the marble, “let me know if you need anything else, yes?”
Nodding your head in gratitude, you lifted the jug onto the tray you’d prepared, “Merci, Pierre.”
Slipping carefully through the sliding doors you made your way across the veranda to place the tray on the outdoor dining table. The tray was heavy, and you moved fast to make sure you didn’t spill the lemonade all over yourself.
“HEY BOYS!” you shouted over the sound of the heavy machinery, waving a lazy hand at them, beckoning them closer like a siren. “I hope you’re thirsty,” you laughed.
A low whistle could be heard as they came closer. Eyes lingering on your skin, trailing over your body as they gathered around the table, helping themselves to the citrus-y delight.
“If this ain’t the sweetest thing I think a client has ever done for us,” Tommy smiled as he helped himself to a glass, “You mind if I take a picture of this setup? To post on our Facebook page.”
You shook your head, “Take as many pictures as you like,” you told him, but your eyes wandered.
Joel had hung back, walking slower behind the rest of his crew, and was finally walking up the couple steps to the veranda. His work boots echoed over the planks as he walked closer. He didn’t seem happy as he locked eyes with you, his eyes quickly rolling over your almost naked body.
Taking advantage of the opportunity, you poured him a glass; the ice cubes splashing as you poured, cold drops splashing and coating the skin of your exposed chest. Joel pretended he didn’t notice, but you saw the way he looked at you. You’d seen that look so many times, eyes hungry and desperate for something they knew they couldn’t have, shouldn’t have. The only difference this time was that you’d let Joel do whatever he wanted to you.
“Here, Mr. Miller–”
Your voice was cut off by the sound of a phone ringing at the loudest volume. The suddenness of the sound made you jump, spilling the glass of Joel’s lemonade all down your hand and chest.
“Yellow,” you heard Tommy shout into his phone.
“Oh, oops,” you said, your voice laced in an innocent laugh. Drops of sticky lemonade ran down your body, darkening the fabric of your bikini, and making your skin shine with wetness under the Austin sun.
Looking up from your body at Joel, your teeth caught on your bottom lip at the way his jaw clenched, his eyes running down your body like they were drops of lemonade. You laughed again, sugary sweet as you made a show of placing the glass on the table, spreading your arms like you didn’t know what to do.
“Y’need to be more careful, sweetheart,” Joel mumbled as he fumbled for some napkins from your tray.
You shook your head at him when he handed them to you, instead you ran a finger up your chest, catching the drops and sucking the cool drink from your fingers, slowly, licking up every drop. It was bold, and you couldn’t contain your giggle when Joel’s eyes widened at you. It was quick, the wave of shock at how blatantly you’d flirt with him like this, before it crashed into the shore with a stern look. The other men had to be looking too, you could feel the way their eyes burned your skin, but you only cared about one man’s warm eyes on your body.
“That was so clumsy of me,” you giggled, the laugh forced and too sweet, but it didn’t matter, Joel didn’t buy it either way.
“’m sorry ‘bout that,” Tommy’s voice boomed, as he hung up the phone, “It was the missus– or soon to be missus.”
“Oh, you’re getting married?” you queried, the lemonade soaking you forgotten now that the moment had been ruined. Beside you, Joel picked up the glass you’d tried to hand him, drying the sides with the superfluous napkins.
“Yes, ma’am,” Tommy beamed, “tyin’ the knot this Saturday in fact.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful,” you smiled, an idea popping up in the back of your head, “Congratulations!”
“Thank you, thank you,” he beamed, taking a big gulp of the lemonade.
“So…” You stepped closer to Tommy, leaning your hand against the table. Joel’s eyes followed you, you could feel it, so you sneakily popped your hips out, giving him a nice view of your ass. “What’s the plan? Big church wedding?”
Tommy laughed, “Don’t know ‘bout big– we’re doin’ one of those barn weddings, you know? Out on a ranch and everythin’, they got it all on those big ranches nowadays.”
“Really?” you smiled, “Which ranch?”
“Oh, it ain’t far! Only ‘bout a fifteen-twenty minutes’ drive from downtown. Pecan Grove Ranch it’s called. They even got these nice cabins on site, for accommodation– which is nice for close family and those who’ve traveled far. You know, Maria’s family ain’t from Texas, so we got lots of folks flyin’ in.”
“Is that her name? Maria?” you asked. The way Tommy’s face lit up when you mentioned her name made your heart squeeze.
“Yeah,” he nodded, “love of my life she is!”
“I need to talk to you.” Joel cut your conversation off while his hand snaked its way around your upper arm, tugging you lightly towards him. When you turned your head to look at him, one eyebrow raised, his face shifted into a deep frown. “’s ‘bout the tiles,” he grumbled.
A smile tugged at the corners of your mouth. Finally.
You excused yourself to Tommy, and let Joel drag you with him. Throwing your head back you watched how the rest of the crew enjoyed their small break in the shade sipping on Pierre’s lemonade.
Joel crossed the yard in big steps, making a beeline for the shed tucked away in the back corner of the yard. He pulled at the door harshly, like it couldn’t happen fast enough, and pushed you inside. The door to the shed slammed shut behind him and covered you both in a cool darkness. Your eyes relaxed as you adjusted from the bright daylight to the dim lighting – the only light coming through a small window almost completely overgrown with climbing vines. Joel’s grip around your arm loosened as he pushed you deeper inside.
Taking small steps, you looked around, eyes scanning over the room as a thought of how you couldn’t remember the last time you’d stepped a foot inside the shed crossed your mind. It was hidden away in the corner of the garden, overgrown in a tasteful way, like how you’d see in garden magazines. These days the only person who used it was the gardener, if the miscellaneous tools and garden machines were to be believed.
“Put your hands on the table,” Joel ordered, his voice a low hum.
Outside you could still hear the shouts of his men, laughter, as they lounged about on their break. Every one of his men had seen you step into the shed together, and the thought sent an electric bubbling feeling straight to your cunt.
“Y'got cotton in those ears, girl? Put your hands on the table.”
A shiver traveled through your body, and you had to bite down on your lip to hold back your smile. Finally, finally, finally. With your back turned to him, you shook your head slowly, daring him to put you in your place again.
And Joel took the bait.
His rough hand slid over your waist as he stepped closer. He let it glide across your exposed skin, the dried lemonade sticky as he teased you. His rough hand slid upwards, hooking a finger under your bikini strap, slowly, pulling at it before he unhooked it, letting it fall to the concrete floor.
“Aren’t you gonna behave, princess?” he spat out the new nickname. “Didn’t I teach ya last time what happens when you ain’t a good girl f’me?” The low bass of his voice ghosted over your ear and had your blood buzzing under your skin.
His rough hands continued to explore you, gentle touches over your skin, getting you worked up, but never where you wanted his hands the most. When he pressed himself against you, letting you feel the hard shape of him through his work pants, you let your head fall against his shoulder with a content sigh.
“No, Daddy,” you shook your head.
Joel couldn’t hold back his groan at that word. The gentle hands who’d explored your body, tightened across your chest, pressing you tight into his chest as he bucked his hips harshly into your ass.
“I think I did,” he spoke into your ear, “broke that pretty brain on my cock, didn’t I, and now that greedy cunt wants more, ain’t that right? Can’t get enough of this big cock?”
A breathy gasp escaped you when he bucked his hips against you again, and you shook your head.
“That’s what I thought.”
The speed at which he moved almost gave you a whiplash. He pushed you against the table along the wall, your hands coming down to brace yourself as he pressed your chest down and put your ass, covered only by your skimpy bikini bottoms, on display for him.
“Such a slut for cock she can’t be a big girl and ask for it– no, princess, you’re so desperate for it, you make me come all the way to your rich daddy’s house, bring my crew and everythin’ just so I’ll fuck you again.”
Joel laughed and you couldn’t help but squeeze your thighs together. “That’s ‘nother level of desperate, ain’t it?”
You felt a heat spread across your face at his degradation, but it just turned you on more, and Joel knew it. He trailed a finger down between your cheeks, pressing down to feel how you’d soiled your bikini bottoms in your arousal.
“But that’s just what you are, aren’t you? A desperate whore dyin’ to get fucked?”
The hand between your legs vanished, and you braced yourself for a spanking, holding your breath as the excitement grew, but the slap of his rough hand never came. Instead, he unhooked a rope off the peg board in front of you.
You resisted a little when he grabbed your hands, slipping your hands from his grip playfully, your face turned to watch how his face grew sterner. The tired, disappointed sigh it earned you made you smile.
Gripping both your hands tightly, he crossed one wrist over the other before he tied them together at the small of your back, and you let it happen. Under your skin, the anticipation buzzed. With nothing to help you brace yourself, the hard surface of the table pressed harshly against your naked skin.
“Hey,” Joel’s voice was suddenly gentle as he cupped your face and turned you to face him, “you remember our rules?”
A small ache stung in your heart. Our.
You nodded, “I say ‘red’ or pinch you if I want you to stop.”
A pleased grin spread across his face as he tapped at your cheek gently, “That’s a good girl, baby.”
His hand slid down your body, from your face down your neck, from your neck over your shoulder, and then from your shoulder down your naked back. “How’s this?” he asked, hooking a finger under the rope, “Not too tight?”
You shook your head, or tried to, with the way your cheek was mushed against the table.
“Words, princess, need to hear ya say it f’me.”
The softness in his voice when the pet name left his lips, made a fluttering feeling bubble in your core, and it was hard to fight the grin from pulling at your lips.
“Am I your princess now?” you asked with fluttering eyelashes, “I thought I was your desperate slut?”
Behind you, you could hear Joel let out a deep sigh. A finger traced small circles over your ass, making goosebumps blossom over your skin, before it hooked into the band of your bikini bottoms, tugging them slowly down and exposing your wet cunt to him.
“You know,” Joel sighed again, pausing to let the sound of his fly being undone fill the space between you. You almost moaned at the sound, pushing your ass out, desperate for any kind of friction. “I was plannin’ on bein’ nice t’you, but now…”
The blunt head of him pressed against you, running it up and down your cunt, coating it in your slick arousal, and you almost held your breath. The anticipation like a fist around your chest. Your heart drummed in your chest, almost drowning out the wet slick sound between your legs.
“I don’t want you to be nice,” you almost whispered, your fist tightening around each other at the small of your back.
“I know, princess…” he whispered back, and pushed at your opening, “I know.”
He was too big, the girth of him splitting you in two on his cock. It burned deliciously, and you savored every inch he gave you until he was fully seated inside you. Only then were you able to whimper out a moan, your breath finally released.
His hands gripped your wrists like a handlebar, something to hold on to, something to guide you back and forth on his cock. He pushed himself even deeper, releasing a deep groan in your ear as he leaned over you, the weight of him heavenly as he made room for himself inside you, his heavy balls pressed against you.
This was what you’d wanted. Just to feel him again like this.
“Shit…” you sighed, eyes almost rolling back into your head.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he whispered in your ear, “get a cock in you, and you turn into a good girl f’me.”
You wanted to push back, to give him something to prove him wrong, but you had nothing.
“Please,” you whispered, your eyes squeezed shut tightly.
“Please what, princess?” You could hear the smile in Joel’s low rumbling voice.
“Fuck me, sir,” you pleaded, “Fuck me, Daddy, please.”
“Oh, now she’s askin’ nice.” Joel pulled back and thrusted back inside in one hard thrust, pushing your body against the table, a line surely indented in your skin by now.
A whimper fell from your lips.
Joel started fucking you slowly, but hard, the table rattling with each thrust, one hand wrapped around your wrists to keep his balance. Under him you couldn’t fight back your moans, small content squeaks escaping you when he pressed himself firmly against your ass, burying his cock deeply inside you with every thrust.
“That’s it, slut, that’s a good girl,” Joel praised over you, “takin’ that cock so well, princess.”
The world started blurring around the edges with each thrust, a soft, warm feeling wrapping itself around your heart as he thrusted inside you. You were dying to touch your clit. His cock reached so far, pressing perfectly against your g-spot with each push. You were so close. If you could just touch your clit.
“P-please,” you mumbled lowly, your face scrunched tight as you clenched around his cock.
Joel grunted behind you and stepped away. You could almost cry, and maybe you did because rough pads ran over your cheek as he shushed you.
“No-no-no, it’s okay baby,” he mumbled, “calm down.”
“Please,” you tried again. Please let me come.
“I need you to do somethin’ f’me,” he told you as he guided his cock back to your ruined entrance, slick with want.
“I’ll do anything you ask,” you hurried.
“Anythin’?” Joel rubbed his cock up and down your slit as a slick sound filled the air.
“Anything.”
Behind you, Joel laughed, and pushed inside you again, making a big smile spread across your face.
“Alright, princess,” he said with a hard thrust, “what you’re gonna do f’me is when you feel like you’re close, you’re gonna tell me, tell your Daddy, alright?”
You nodded into the wood, head almost delirious with want, “Okay.”
“You wanna feel my cum inside you, don’t cha, want me to fill y’up to the brim?” His voice was so soft, almost soothing, as he fucked you hard.
“Please, Daddy, want you to come inside me, please.”
A grumbling laugh escaped Joel as he continued his harsh thrust – your skin clap clap clapping together as he hauled you towards the edge of your orgasm. It built deep in your core, coiling in on itself as he brought you closer and closer and closer.
“Joel,” you gasped, “I’m gonna come.”
Quickly, and without warning, Joel pulled out, leaving you trembling, and on the edge.
“No, you ain’t,” he told you sternly, “you’re gonna hold it.”
A rough hand smoothed over your right ass cheek, small taps to your skin reprimanding you as he rubbed his cock over the other, soiling you in your own desperation.
You felt like you were heaving for breath underneath him, eyes squeezed tight as you tried to stave it off.
“That’s it,” he praised, “that’s a good girl. Hold that orgasm f’me.”
Focusing on the way his hand rubbed over your skin, you tried to calm down and steady your breathing. It could’ve taken a minute or an hour, you didn’t know, but the feeling of falling over the edge of bliss fizzled out slowly. Joel leaned over your body, whispering praises into your ear, telling you how good you were for him. When you’d calmed down completely, you lifted your head to look at him, to catch his eyes.
Blown out and big, the warmth of them looked back, a deepness to get lost in. A small smiled tugged at his lips before he leaned down and peppered a soft kiss to your shoulder. It lasted only a second, but it made fluttering wings expand in your tummy.
When he pushed inside you again, your tied hands reached for his. His thrust came quicker than before, sloppier, as he chased his own high, his hand interlaced with yours.
“God fuckin’ slut,” he rambled.
“Takin’ that cock so fuckin’ good.”
“I’m gonna fuckin’ come– gonna fill that cunt up.”
With a hard slam of his hips against your ass, pushing himself as deep as he could, Joel came inside you with a deep grunt. “That’s it– take all that fuckin’ cum inside.” A warmth filled you from the inside as his cock twitch inside you, coating your walls in thick spurts of his cum.
“Good fuckin’ girl,” he mumbled, as he thrusted his cum back inside you, making sure he’d emptied himself completely before pulling out, sliding his softening cock from your denied cunt.
“Joel,” you whispered, but he didn’t hear you, too busy with tucking himself back into his work pants, and pulling up your bikini bottoms, soiling them in his cum starting to leak out of you.
“What about me?” you asked, confused, as he undid the rope around your wrists.
“What ‘bout you?” he repeated, helping you up and turning you to face him.
A chuckle rumbled in his chest as he took in your disappointed face, a large hand coming up to cup your chin. “What?” he teased, “don’t like your punishment?” He padded your cheek and pulled away, picking up your bikini top from the floor.
“’f you’re gonna act like a fuckin’ brat– havin’ your daddy hire me to have an excuse for seein’ me again, when you could’ve just called, then you’re gonna get treated like a brat, you understand? You gotta earn your orgasm, and you ain’t earned yourself nothin’ prancing around half naked in your garden while I’m trying to work, princess.” 
With that, Joel threw you your bikini top, and you barely managed to catch it between your fingers before you watched him walk out the shed, leaving you half naked, as his cum leaked down the inside of your leg.
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part three -> here!
hopefully this was okay? please let me know what you thought of the new part! a comment telling me your favorite part is always welcome, and my ask box is always open to chat <3 and thank you for reading!!
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© shellshocklove, 2024 i do not give any permission to repost, translate, feed to AI or redistribute any of my writing, with or without credit!
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talaok · 2 years
Text
Late night
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!reader
summary: Derek asks spencer about a late night he had.
warnings: mentions of smut, but just fluff
a/n:(obviously) I'm rewatching, and I got to episode 1x10 and I had to write about this scene(please tell me someone remembers it)
"Easy there tough guy, have some coffee with your sugar, "Derek said, a smirk appearing on his face as soon as he got a glimpse of the obscene amount of sweetener Spencer was putting in his coffee.
"I need something to wake me up" Spence explained, not showing signs of stopping.
He was tired,
God, he was tired,
He wasn't used to this, no, not at all,
and it wasn't like he was complaining, he had the time of his life last night,
He felt like he was dreaming, or hallucinating really,
it just didn't make any sense.
You didn't make any sense.
He was a nerd, a weirdo, a robot, things that until now, he had learned weren't appealing to the ladies,
but still,
there you were,
somehow interested in him,
enough to spend the night with him,
enough to let him get a mere 3 hours of sleep last night.
"late night?" Derek asked, grinning widely.
"very" Spencer couldn't help but smile, as flashbacks invaded his mind.
his mouth on yours, the taste of your tongue, the feel of his hands on you, of your soft skin, of your curves, the feel of you, and then finally of your voice, your sweet sweet voice murmuring his name, and moaning loudly into the thick air.
"my man" Derek said proudly, making Spencer cuss himself internally.
shit, that's right,
he wasn't supposed to know about it,
nobody was,
not until you knew what it was,
not until you were ready.
"not that kind of late night" he lied, and surprisingly, it was convincing, no pitching of the voice, or weird hand ticks, nothing, just his usual self.
"ok so tell me" Derek walked up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, and right at that moment, you entered the kitchen "what does keep young dr. Reid awake at night?"
You stopped in your tracks, your lips involuntarily twitching into a smile as you heard those words.
Spencer glanced at you, his cheeks immediately turning a brighter shade of pink,
"wait let me guess" Derek started, thankfully too deep into his thoughts to notice the not-so-subtle looks just exchanged "memorizing some obscure textbook?"
You bit down a grin, going to pour some coffee for yourself.
sure,
if by memorizing a textbook he meant every single inch of your body,
"no, no, no." Morgan waved his hands, correcting himself " working on cold fusion" he tried again
You had to bring the mug up to your mouth to cover the wide smile on your lips, as you looked at the scene, Spencer's cheeks continued to redden as he felt your eyes on him.
"no, I got it, I got it, I got it" Derek tried to guess again
"watching star trek and laughing at the physics mistakes"
You couldn't help it this time,
a small laugh escaped your throat, and you opened your mouth to justify yourself once both the men turned to look at you, but Spencer interrupted you "Actually, there aren't that many scientific errors in star trek, especially considering how long ago it was made. there are certain improbabilities, but not that many outright errors."
Morgan raised his eyebrows at you, his eyes expressing very clearly -this guy huh?-, and you smiled knowingly, your eyes, in turn, saying -I know, trust me I know-
Derek smiled at your expression before going back to Spence "Right" he said, patting his shoulder before leaving quickly, not wanting to hear one more second of his rambling.
You smiled, walking closer to the now-beaming man.
"so, late night huh?" you asked
"the best of my life"
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heleneplays · 2 years
Text
pokemon au for the relics cast aka the besties have their team of pokemon aside being archaeologists/historians/adventurers
i am. developing thoughts.
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flcwermimi · 2 months
Text
❛ THE ICEBERG EFFECT IN THE VOID STATE ❜
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Even after doing right things / following the right method / being persistant towards our desires sometimes we don't get the fruitful outcome and we all have asked ourselves WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?
According to the research our conscious mind which is aware of our feelings, thoughts and behaviour is like a tip of an ICEBERG visible above the water & on the other hand majority of the iceberg, representing the unconscious mind, lies hidden beneath the surface.The unconscious mind is thought to contain instincts, repressed memories, and other mental processes that we are not directly aware of, but which still influence our behavior and decision-making.
Hand to Hand same happens on our Void/Manifestation journey. The ICEBERG in the void state are :
— SUPPRESSED EMOTIONS - Not being able to confess what u actually feel & often ignoring the emotions overcome this by doing some action regarding when u actually feel happy or angry CONFESS IT ' I am happy/ angry '
— UNRESOLVED PAST TRAUMA/ ISSUE - Even u feel it doesn't effect at all but it does unconsciously the burden of UNRESOLVED THINGS or UNADRESSES ISSUE can lead to several mental issue and to overcome it once must overlook yourself, apologize if u are wrong,get help, share their feelings with someone
— SCARED OF THEIR DESIRE - Often someone DM 's me saying that they're scared of having their desire which is completely normal and I feel to restrict this feeling from their self once should just appreciate their self , hangout with good energy people and decrease their screen time
— SOMETHING HOLDING BACK : From my recent post I got many DM regarding how they feel what is holding them back and it's important to have knowledge on the rights things misinformation sometimes stick to ourselves very deeply
— SELF DOUBT : Many people doubts them regarding the how powerful they're, they often find validation to have their desire so it's very important to work on self-concepts and stop questioning " is it possible" or " can I have this or that?"
— NOT STICKING TO ONE THING : One individual when they're trying to enter void often keeps changing methods or finding something which can magically help them and it often leads them finding hard to believe in any methods. Even if u fail at one method at 3 - 4 times doesn't mean it's not effective it's all about mindsets u must stick to one thing and stop looking sources like ' enter the void instantly/ do this method to happen in second ' because u are not realising how powerful u are actually u don't need those things everything is on your command
— COMPLICATING THINGS : As I seen so many of people making a bunch of routine it irritates me cause They are listening subliminals also and on the side they are even doing robotic affirmation and also five minutes they are doing PSYCH -K and next they are also doing mediation and on the night they will put long bunch hypnosis and in the same night they are doing WBTB method trust me you don't need so much things u doing these all things result that u are putting the void on the pedestal Just question yourself this all is needed?doing so much u are exhausting yourself physically and mentally
— TIME : For those who really starts to panic when they don't enter void on the specific time it's ok time hasn't been wasted nothing is wrong when u didn't enter the void on your specific time the only thing u will be doing wrong in that time is making diffrent theories, underestimating yourself, finding different methods, saying yourself a failure
So these we're some things I wanted to list from the very starting I hope u all read it all through find what is actually stopping you and there is no guarantee this thing happens to each and everyone I have listed it down by over analysing the success stories, my experience
Further what u can do is listen to self concept subliminals, building confidence, don't overwork on your selves, stop finding validation and logic in everything , surrounding yourself with postive beliefs , patience is virtue so keep persisting , do something new daily as if meditate or write a journal or share your thoughts with others learn new skills
That's it all no iceberg effect is bigger than you so stop doubting yourself you can do this it's all easy peasy 🤍🫶
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ghettogirly · 3 months
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hiii (: can you do a armando headcanon on how he acts if he has a crush on you?
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𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐍 -> HOW HE WOULD ACT WHEN HAVING A CRUSH ON YOU.
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐗 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊!𝐅𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄!𝐎𝐂 (Y/N BURNETT)
[🕷️] warning: mature language, use of weapons, mention of a inappropriate lifestyle (cartel), family issues, mention of abandonment, Armando is going to be a little aggressive.
[🕷️] Authors note: Hope you enjoy!
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[🕷️] 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐀𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔:
-> When he first saw you at the house with Kelly and Dorn when his father brought him there, he was attracted to you.
-> You obviously hated him of course, he tried to kill your father a couple years back.
-> However, he couldn’t take his eyes off you. There was something different.
-> You had beautiful curly hair, your coils being tight forming a C-shape. Your eyes were a deep, dark brown while your lips were full and two toned.
-> He noticed the similarities between you and your dad, however, you was more the serious one out of the two. You hardly cracking that many jokes while your dad was sitting there laughing at life.
-> Maybe that’s partly his fault as you was a LOT more tense around him, not taking your eye off the male wherever he went.
-> was that a sense of attraction too though?
[🕷️] 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔:
-> when he first spoke to you, he was rude.
-> you was ranting to Mike about the potential dangers of being here which resulted in an argument with your Dad when he failed to listen to your side. However, he eventually got you to calm down and hear him out.
-> “She better be calm.”
-> “What the fuck did you just say?”
-> So, it did not go off to a great start.
-> Eventually, he got little sentences out of you. Whether that was making you explain the plan from the top to him again or to explain how to work something. He was always asking you questions. You eventually got sick of his persistence to talk to you,
-> Do you ever stop fucking talking?!”
-> That pissed him off. However, he couldn’t really allow himself to somehow retaliate, only feeling a sense of frustration yet guilt for your reaction towards him.
-> “Perdóname. I simply just wanted to know how my father was like before i came into the picture.”
-> That silenced you, the sentiment coming from out his mouth that you thought be was incapable of doing. Apologising, you decide to give him a chance.
-> “He was…”
[🕷️] 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐎𝐔𝐓:
-> this was the worst part for him.
-> he’s not a man to actually crave a relationship with a girl, especially to ask them out. they usually come flocking to him.
-> however, he found himself unable to hide his feelings for you. finding that one person who actually completes him fully and makes his day. he hates you for it.
-> it reminds him of his dysfunctional family. his father and his mother and how they were ok too of the world before his father sold his mother away. the perfect couple destroyed by a deadly betrayal leading to a web of lies and ultimately where he is today.
-> it would be a conflicting battle for him to eventually come to grips with his feelings. yet, i think he would be unable to verbally say them so he would have to write his emotions down in a letter.
-> the letter would be a symphony of words coming from his realisation of how and why he is the way he is, descending down to his feelings for you. the passion burning through the piece of paper as you take a journey through his hectic life.
-> the battle of abandonment issues to his anger for the world.
-> how could you really say no to his confession?
[🕷️] 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄:
-> he would take you to a fancy restaurant.
-> initially Armando would want to impress you and show you the ways of his impressive cartel connections before he was eventually caught and forced to leave it behind.
-> he would at first treat you as any random girl, thinking you would be impressed at the high calibre restaurant. but you wanted more than that.
-> you wanted the child Armando, the little kid inside who was unable to express himself as he had no-one to confide in. You wanted to see the things he enjoyed.
-> Then he took you to a park. Your “real” date.
-> It has street vendors of all the Mexican food you could think of, showing you the happiness and flavours of his culture.
-> This was the man you wanted to see.
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spacebarbarianweird · 8 months
Note
OK OK you just gotta hear me on this one,, Astarion and gn reader where reader is little spoon and Astarion can *sense* just how relaxed reader gets. Instead of their pulse racing from his touches they slow down. Muscles relaxed. Happy little sighs.
^^ he can’t handle this btw he’s absolutely fucking bewildered
A Person to Hold
Synopsis: Fluffy post-game epilogue
Tags: fluff
Read on AO3
Masterlist
Headcanons
He looks at you, unable to stop smiling.
"They deserve happiness. We all do. And I will forever be grateful to have found it with you," Astarion says.
You make a step forward with open arms. Astarion hugs you, closing his eyes like a content cat. 
A mere half year ago these hugs scared him. It was weird. It was scary. What did you want? Did you want to hurt him? Did you want his body?
No.
None of that.
You taught him not to be afraid. You hug him daily and if he occasionally flinches you don’t let him go. You hold him in your arms when he has nightmares and kiss away his tears when it's just too much.
"I feel bad keeping you all to myself! After all, I get to see you every night."
"Are you sure? You won't be bored?"
You kiss his cheek and leave. In a few seconds, you look back, trying to see if he hasn’t changed his mind. 
"Darling, I can spend some time with myself. Go on, go and mingle. And I will be there, when you’re ready. I will always be here, my love."
He hasn’t. Astarion sits down beside a campfire sensing its warmth.
He doesn't feel like talking. He didn't manage to make friends with the others and now can sense hostility from them. He is a vampire. His strength isn’t suppressed by the tadpole and apparently once the vampire's master is dead, spawns become lesser vampires. Astarion doesn't feel the difference, to be honest, but he knows people feel something is off with him.
Well, it doesn't matter. What matters is that he feels good. He has never thought his head might be so clear. He can make a working ambush plan in a blink of an eye and it won't lead to a disaster because he actually can think everything through. He can walk on ceilings and walls again, he regenerates before you manage to notice he is wounded. 
He has the world to explore, places to see, things to do. He is going to make up for all these decades of misery, to bury them under the pile of happy memories.
And he has you.
Probably the weirdest thing that could happen to him.
You, who forgave his lies and manipulations, who gave him the second chance when it was the stupidest thing to do. Who made him believe the world isn’t an evil place. 
You are the first person he sees when returns from his reverie. Your breathing soothes him, so does your heartbeat.
Astarion never had anything. Everything he had a right to was stripped away from him including his own life.
But now he has you.
To hold, to kiss, to talk. 
To travel together, to hunt monsters, to be independent adventurers. You are there to save him from nightmares. And he is there to save you from death.
How could he become so happy?
“I am going to sleep, are you with me or do you want to hunt?” he feels a soft “pat” on his shoulder.
How come he has you?
You are a bit drunk and very sleepy.
“Let’s go to the tent.”
“Good, I got used to sleeping with you by my side.”
Astarion looks around as if ashamed of what he is going to do and, having made sure no one sees you, takes you in his hands bridal-style.
You are weightless to him thanks to the vampiric strength. He could walk many miles carrying you and not getting tired.
In the tent, you get to your bedroll and immediately cover yourself with a thick blanket. Then, you open it a little, inviting Astarion to join.
He takes his clothes off and crawls to your side. The night is warm, so are you. But since you have to share your body heat with him, you sleep under the thickest fur blanket. 
You are his and he is yours. If a year ago someone told him that would be his future he would bitterly laugh.
Astarion presses your back to his chest, placing the chin on your shoulder.
Your muscles relax, the pulse slows down. You are falling asleep in his arms.
"My love, thank you" he whispers in you ear, tugging you closer
“Hm?”
“Thank you for finding me."
You squeeze his hand. “You were worth it.”
He doesn’t want to meditate. He wants to hold you like that until you wake up. Astarion concentrates on your breathing and heartbeat. You are already sound asleep.
“Sleep well, darling,” he kisses your cheek. “We still have plenty of things to do together.” 
--
Tag list
@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96
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lovermyme · 2 months
Text
Was thinking about merlin and listening to mitski today and
Post revel where arthur reacts very well at merlins magic, unbans magic and merlin cant actually process that
Yeah, thats about "its just that i fell in love with a war, nobody told me it ended", he suffered too much to allow it to be this easy. Can u imagine? What do u mean arthur and the knights are laughing amused by him magically lighting the fire? It is a big deal.
Merlins saw many many sorcerers be cremated alive to be normal. He heard the screams and smelled the burned skin, the toasted meat.
I havent watched the shows in years but like, i guess he have a "privileged view" of the pire from his room too....... He thinks if uther did that on purpose, by giving gaius (the only sorcerer uther allowed to stay, in his conditions of course) this place of all in the castle...... Like a warning...
The only "mentors" merlin had where a dragon, that had been imprisoned for morethan 20 years. And a old man, that had been walking on eggs for more than 20 years too. They were shit at giving advices, yeah but. Its understandable at some point.
He has blood in his hands. Non sorcerer and sorcerer. Friends and enemies. Civilians. He released kilgharra. Fuck, he lied at the morgouse trials, about arthurs mother! Why is arthur ok w that? He think he is a traitor, of both his kind........
Bonus point if good mordred. Like, mordred adapting very well at the shift laws, and excited about doing magic in frnt of arthur and arthur liking it???? Merlin cant understand. He debated about killing this child.
bONUS BONUS POINT If merlin is struggling at doing magic in front of arthur and the knights, and arthurs doesn't know he is emrys the most powerful sorcerer to walk on earth aND YET IS SO AMUSED. And like, *merlin shaking while firing the fire* arthur and evryone: THATS AMAZING MERLIN 👏👏👏👏 And mordred is so confused
I need a fic like this
Mordred becomes court sorcerer because arthur thinks merlin is not powerful and everything (in a worried way not in a disposed way). Merlin is not jealous, he doesn't care about titles, actually he do like his job, its just about the irony of the thing. Mordred is so so confused.
He does his job amazing, he uses magic and its okay at doing it. When no one is looking. If someone, thats not gaius, is looking, he hardly can do.
He cant do magic w arthurs watching.
Unless its a Arthur's life treating situation.
Its not that he is actually scared of arthur, its just that he simple cant. Theres even a tecnical term for this. Its like a emotional block, but w his magic. He cant control it. He has been under pressure for so long he cant just let go ya know.
Ok, its my post, i like mordred, im gonna put my thoughts here.
Au where mordred was the one who changes arthurs mind about magic. Like, arthur is watching mordred, the one he know has magic and is a druid and asks him if he stills do magic and mordred thinks and chooses honesty and says "to make a fire when noone is looking" or some non harmful thing. And Arthur is like "a sorcerer can be a Knight, im shifting the law". And he shift the law and Merlin is like, was is that easy? *Mental breakdown * meltdown *burnout*
The thing is: it wasn't just because of mordred, like, Arthur's kingdom has been kind w the sorcerers already, not having burned a lot and no one in mordred presence, because arthur is a kind king.
And th thing is how mordred and merlin lived different lifes while in camelot, ya know. Even through mordred has heard stories and lost friends and family to camelots fire, Merlin lived in it.
Merlin, he is extremely suspicious about mordred coming out as sorcerer to arthur (because he is suspicious of mordred), he thinks maybe its a trick, to bring evil sorcerers to kill arthur, something, he even debates w arthur if shifting thelaw is the right choice. He feels awful about his position, but he cant process that everything is alright, he is so suspicious about everything and so scared arthur might put himself in danger.
He tells arthur he has magic after he lift the ban. Arthur is so confused because of merlins position about the law, but he is fine w merlin. And merlin islike "im gonna to protect u i promise, im super powerful", of course he cant prove he is powerful because this whole post.
Im tired now im stoping, but im still thinking alot.
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love-belle · 1 year
Text
you're losing me !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's losing him and he's not fighting for her either.
or
for when you lose someone you thought you'd spend your lifetime with. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // max verstappen x fem!reader
sequel - i hope i never lose you ⋆·˚ ༘ *
warnings - language
author's note - my heart broke while writing this :// still, i hope u like it!! lmk if u want a part ii though i'll write it anyway. i love you, thank you for reading <3
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yourusername when the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst
9,926 comments
username MOTHER?????
username max :///
username if they break up i simply give up, it's that easy x
lewishamilton sending you hugs and love from me and roscoe ❤️
-> yourusername missing you both ❤️
username guys............what if they did b word u word ?
-> username don't spread lies 😘😘😘
-> username they break up and i stop believing in love ☺️
lilymhe i could be a better boyfriend just saying 😮‍💨
-> yourusername you're already my wife 😘
username we really went from "the first flowers he ever brought me became my favourite" to "when the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst" huh
username im just gonna ignore this!!
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maxverstappen1 pole position!!
very happy that we managed to put the best bits together for qualifying today! great work by everyone in the team redbullracing & hondaracingglobal 👏
looking forward to be racing again tomorrow 👌
7,972 comments
username NO Y/N????????
username im delulu
username is it just me or did he not seem really into it like idk
-> username if me and my fiancée broke up i'd be the same
danielricciardo proud of you mate! 👏
username need y/n to comment rn so i can be at peace
username nice prank guys 😐😐 REALLY funny 😐😐😐
username NO BC THE WAY HE ALMOST MENTIONED Y/N WHILE TALKING TO A REPORTER BUT STOPPED HIMSELF
-> username NO BC MY HEART BROKE SEEING
-> username they're really over huh
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f1newzzz formula one driver, max verstappen and singer/songwriter y/n y/l/n called it quits on their engagement, source close to the pair claimed. "they just wanted different things, their goals weren't aligning," the source explained, "marriage had seemed like the picture perfect ending at that time, when max had proposed, but in the long run, they both would've been very unhappy." though the exact reason for their split isn't very clear, many speculate that it was actually verstappen who ended their 11 month engagement. for more details, click on the link in our bio.
479 comments
username ur telling me that the woman who wrote "your past and mine are parallel lines, stars all aligned and they intertwined" about her man wanted "different things"??????? ok.
username max i just wanna talk ☺️☺️☺️
username no bc they were so in love everyone could see it
username she did not write "i don't wanna look at anything else now that i saw u" for u to write this fucking shit post
username "she's been my rock, my biggest supporter, my proudest fan and im very grateful for her, forever will be. i don't deserve her and i don't know what good i did to have her in my life but im very glad i do" NO WAY HE BROKE UP WITH HER
username idk man if u write 3+ albums about someone and stuff like "all that u ever wanted from me was sweet nothing" or "all's well that ends well to end up with u" the universe should it impossible for u to break up
username just a daily reminder that u should drink rat poison before falling in love bc it never works out
username the day i stopped believing in love
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yourusername you're losing me is finally yours. this is easily the most vulnerable, heartbreaking, raw and personal song that i have ever written and sharing it with you all is like sharing a big piece of myself. you are, at some point in their life, at a place where you're begging someone to love you the way you love them and i think that's a saddest thing someone can do, i've been there. this song is a messy compilation of my feelings, my thoughts and the enigma in my mind, i hope you like it. and finally, to that one person, thank you for being my forever. it was real.
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username I WOULDN'T MARRY ME EITHER A PATHOLOGICAL PEOPLE PLEASER WHO ONLY WANTED YOU TO SEE HER
username the way we went from "i'd marry u with paper rings" to "i wouldn't marry me either"
username DO SOMETHING BABE SAY SOMETHING
danielricciardo in awe of you and your talent 🤍🤍🤍🤍
-> yourusername danny i heart you
username no bc what really hurts is that throughout her albums and songs she's always been like "i can't wait to marry you!!!!" like from lover and paper rings and now it's hinted that max didn't wanna marry her and the way she's trying not to blame him by saying "i wouldn't marry me either"
-> username "she would've made such a lovely bride what a shame she's fucked in her head" to "i wouldn't marry me either"
username the way that some people were saying that they got married secretly and the whole time they were broken up and she still continued to act like everything was fine like my heart's hurting for her
username "thank you for being my forever, it was real" IM CRYING IH NY GKD
carmenmmundt the most talented person i know 🤍 i love you so much y/n/n
-> yourusername you own my heart 💌
username the 1 is gonna start hitting different now
-> username "it would've been fun if u would've been the one"
username her heartbeat in the song i died.
username thinking about "he didn't try at all though" vs. "do something babe say something"
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