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formulapierre · 1 year

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The Loneliest | Charles Leclerc & Max Verstappen

Pairing: Ex!Charles Leclerc/ Max Verstappen x Reader

Prompt: Might have to make this a series...based off the song 'The Loneliest' by Maneskin. Where you are fed up in your current relationship and Charles has to watch as you find somebody else and see how much happier he makes you.

Warnings: None?

Word Count: 4.5k

Song: The Loneliest by Maneskin

‘You'll be the saddest part of me A part of me that will never be mine It's obvious Tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

“Charles, I don’t know what to tell you. I can’t do this anymore,” I say, gesturing to us. “I can’t lie to you anymore and pretend everything's fine! This…it's just not working for me anymore. I can’t do it,” I admit

“Mon amour, don’t- what are you trying to say? That I’m not here enough for you? Believe me, I’m trying! I get the first flight home after every race, we live in Maranello so I can come home to you each night. What more could you possibly want from me?!” He asks, shocked at your words and surprised that you were even having this argument…He thought you two were solid?

“I feel stuck Charles! I don’t have any friends here and everywhere I turn I have to smile and play nice because I’m your girlfriend. Nobody knows me! Fuck, I don’t even know me anymore!” You reply, managing to work yourself up even more, you didn’t even know you felt like this…when you started, you just couldn’t stop.

“So what? So where do we go from here?” He asks, clearly done with arguing, you assumed that you would kiss and make up like you usually did.

“I’ve got a taxi coming in an hour to take me to the airport, I boxed up all of my stuff and put it in the spare room. There is a courier coming to pick it up on Tuesday…” You admit to him, His jaw drops slightly at how you had planned everything.

“So you’re just leaving?” He asks bluntly.

“Yes, I need space, I need time, I just-,” You start to say, relief finally hitting you that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. “I love you, Charles…but not enough to sacrifice myself,” You tell him honestly.

“This is it then? Two-and-a-half years, just gone like that?” He asks, clicking his fingers when he says ‘like that’. When He says that you can’t even look him in the eyes. “Ok…well I don’t want to be here to watch you leave…” He adds, picking his car keys up and shoving his phone and wallet into his pockets. “I love you, more than you could ever know,” He says before closing the door behind him.

‘You're still the oxygen I breathe I see your face when I close my eyes; It's torturous Tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

YourInstagram

Liked by YourBestFriend and 12,837 others

YourInstagram Home never felt so damn good

YourBestfriend Best surprise ever!!!

---- YourInstagram 🫶

YourMum Amazing pictures, good to finally see you at home x

F1WAGs STUNNING!!

---- FerrariFan1 Wish I was her!

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Charles only briefly looked at the photos, not bothering to like them and leave a sweet comment like he usually would but instead clicking on her profile and letting his thumb hover over the ‘Unfollow’ button. He decided against it, knowing the fans would go crazy if he did. He just switched his phone off and dropped it beside him.

‘There's a few lines that I have wrote In case of death, that's what I want, that's what I want’

'Amour

Cherie

Y/N

You,

We have been apart for nearly two months, that will be the longest we’ve ever been apart. Ironic that... seeing that is the reason you chose to end it. People are starting to ask questions about where you are, why we are seen together anymore and I don’t know what to tell them. You said you needed time and space? I've given you time and space, so where does that leave us?

Are you done? Because I know I’m not, I love you. And if there were any way to prove to you, my love, how much I love you then I would go to the ends of the earth to do so. Sometimes I just try to tell myself that you’re at home waiting for me, and when I get home it all comes crashing down again. I see that you are happy, your social media taunts me with what I don’t believe to be true. Nobody walks away from a two-and-a-half-year relationship as happy as you appear to be…'

Charles puts his pen down and folds up the letter, shoving it into his drawer, He thought writing it would be cathartic but instead all it's done is make him angry, and sad, and ultimately confused. The courier for your stuff came weeks ago and all he got was a quick ‘thanks’ in a text message as a response. He had tried reaching out, just to see where he stood but you didn’t reply; so He tried your best friend, she just told him ‘It’s best if you leave her alone, it's over Charles,’ So at that, he accepted it. When people asked, He said it wasn’t working for you both so you decided to stop seeing each other. Amicably. Of course.

‘So don't be sad when I'll be gone’

YourInstagram

Liked by WAGsF1 and 20,188 others

YourInstagram Amsterdam you have my 🧡

YourFriend I’m sorry but YourBestFriend Is going crazy that you went to Amsterdam without her 🤷‍♀️

---- YourBestFriend SHE WENT TO AMSTERDAM WITHOUT TELLING ME!!!!!

----YourFriend See…Crazy

----YourInstagram It was a surprise…I didn’t even know I was going 😂

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To say that Charles was surprised…well that would be an understatement. He was completely shocked. He didn’t think you’d move on so quickly, ok fine, it had been four months but still. He wouldn’t have even thought about looking at another girl; everybody copes in their own way he supposes. He had to remind himself that he didn't see both sides to your relationship...He didn't see how much you were hurting, maybe that was why it was easier for you to move on?

‘There's just one thing I hope you know, I loved you so’

'Cause I don't even care about the time I've got left here The only thing I know now is that I wanna spend it with you, with you, nobody else here Tonight is gonna be the loneliest.’

YourInstagram

Liked by MaxVerstappen1 and 62,198 others

YourInstagram Summers in Monaco >>>

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Despite not having spoken for nearly eight months, you continued surprising Him. To be honest, Charles was more confused than anything else…all the reasons you gave for breaking up would be problems you would face with Max. The dedication to the sport, the time away from home…what did He have that Charles didn’t?

‘You'll be the saddest part of me A part of me that will never be mine; It's obvious Tonight is gonna be the loneliest.’

WAGsF1

Liked by YourInstagram and 23,918 others

WAGsF1 Guess who’s back!

YourInstagram was spotted in the Monaco paddock this weekend on the arm of two-time world champion Max Verstappen.

MV1Fan Definite upgrade!

FerrariFriends Anyone got eyes on Charles?

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“You don’t have to see him; you can just stay in the hospitality all day; I’ll come and get you to bring you to the garage ready for quali if you want,” Max assures you as you walk into the paddock together, it had been a while since you’d had paddock passes hanging around your neck. When you had been before, an assistant about ten paces ahead would usually scan you in. You didn’t mind; you felt less on show this way, even though the guy on your arm was a double-world champion.

A few people turned to look as you walked towards the Redbull hospitality, most of those being Ferrari employees that would instantly recognise you. Max was pulled aside by a group of fans wanting autographs and photos as you got closer, so you took his bag and phone, making it easier for him to interact with them as you stood off to the side.

It felt like an ambush; not even seconds after Max left your side, you felt a familiar presence behind you. “Charles, I know it's you,” You say, turning to look at him.

“H-how are you?” He asks, clearly unsure of what to say.

“I’m really good, never been better, to be honest,” You tell him, and he smiles.

“Good to hear…I didn’t know you and Max were friends,” He says; you could see it coming.

“We weren’t…we bumped into each other in London and got to talking before I knew it. He was taking me to Amsterdam,” You say with a laugh.

“Schat? Oh, Hey Charles, how's it going?” Max asks, coming to stand back next to you, taking the bag slung over your shoulder and putting it onto his back.

“Not bad, just saying Hi,” He says as his P.R. agent comes rushing over.

“There you are! You were meant to be in filming ten minutes ago,” She tells him, and he rolls his eyes before plastering a fake smile across his face and following her back to the Ferrari hospitality. Charles always used to do that when you attended races; He would always seek you out if He wanted to get out of media duties.

“You ok, schat?” He asks as you watch Charles walk away.

“All good,” You said, looking over at him; he clearly didn’t believe you. “I promise,” You add, kissing his cheek.

‘You're still the oxygen I breathe I see your face when I close my eyes’ ‘It's torturous’

“-That sounds incredible; yes, I want the job!” I say excitedly as Max sits in front of me, on the edge of his seat, and I just nod to him. I quickly thank the interviewer again before ending the call. “I got the job!” I squeal as Max wraps his arms around me.

“You got the job!” He replies, equally as excited. “You know what this means?” He asks, and I grin. “Move in with me. You can travel with me, come to all the races. We could get our own place in Monaco; I know mine is a little small for two people,” He quickly says; you had spoken about all of this before, so He knew your answer.

“Yes, yes, yes!” You agree, and he swiftly lifts you off the floor, spinning you around. Your job had always been an issue; you felt chained to a desk, but now, you were a travel journalist. It was quite literally your job to travel, and with Max going to over 20 different countries in a year at least, it couldn't get any better. You had promised Max you would be in Spain, but it had all been uncertain after that.

When you arrived in Spain, it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulder; you had no mountains of work to do when you got home; or a pissed-off boss because she couldn’t call your phone. All you had to do was enjoy yourself and cheer on your boyfriend. Then came Canada, and it was the same situation; you had quit your old job a few days prior and didn’t start the new one for a few months. Max had promised that He didn’t mind that you weren’t working at the moment, and as you had temporarily moved into his apartment, you had no significant bills to pay.

You slowly got to know people at Redbull, quickly becoming friends with Geri, Carola, and the rest of Max’s team. People at Ferrari still said Hi if you walked past them, but you were surprisingly able to stay out of their way, wanting to leave that in the past. The one person you probably wanted to avoid the most was the one you were struggling to. He seemed to be just around every corner or in your peripheral vision. Perhaps you were just seeing his face on every dark-haired guy with a Ferrari shirt, but with time, you learnt to spot the blue rather than the red.

‘Tonight is gonna be the loneliest I'm sorry but I gotta go’

“So I’m just about to start a new job; the other one wasn’t working for me. It means I’m working remotely so I can attend the races properly,” You tell them as you stand in the middle of the surprisingly quiet paddock.

“What’s the job?” Pierre asks.

“Travel journalism,” You say with a smile.

“That sounds perfect!” He replies.

“It really is, and now I’m not physically tied to London. I’m moving to Monaco,” You tell them, and you think you can see Charles having to replay what you said in his head.

“Getting your own place?” Pierre asks.

“No…I-um,” I start to say before I’m interrupted.

“I thought you’d gotten lost, Schat,” Max says, wrapping his arm around you.

“What? From the garage to the hospitality? I think I’m fine,” You joke as you kiss the side of his head.

“We were just talking about how you’re moving to Monaco,” Pierre said, trying to continue the conversation.

“We’re both really excited; we agreed Max’s place was a little small, so we are looking for a new apartment together,” You say, looking up at the broad smile across his face.

“We’ll catch up again, but I’ve got to go…sorry,” Charles says abruptly before leaving.

“He is happy for you both…He just doesn’t know how to be around you guys, especially after the way you left him,” Pierre says, trying to excuse Charles’ behaviour.

“Pierre? Seriously? We’ve been together for nearly six months, and besides, there are two people in a relationship…it’s not all my fault,” I say defensively, and Max runs his hand over my shoulder, attempting to calm me.

“I know, that came out wrong…” He answers

‘If you'll ever miss me give this song another go’

‘...and now you’re in the paddock all the time. It feels like you're haunting me. You are always there, at work, in my dreams; now you’ll be in Monaco. I can’t escape you; everywhere I turn, there you are or something that reminds me of you. Are you trying to punish me? Is that what this is? You have to show me what I lost. I am fully aware of what I lost!

Every minute of every day, I am reminded of what I lost, who I lost. And I am so happy that you have found someone who can make you as happy as I thought I did. Was it ever me? Was I the issue? If you had your new job when you were mine, would we have argued about what we did? Would we have argued about the distance if you could be there? Would we have found some other reason to disagree?

It’s been nearly a year since you walked out, and I’m still no closer to closure. You were my everything; I was sure you were the one for me. I wanted to buy a house with you, one we could grow our family in; I wanted to make you Mrs Leclerc, and then I wanted to make you a Mother. I wonder if He knows how much you yearn for a family. I remember the lazy Sunday mornings we would spend together discussing the future and what that meant for us…’

‘And I just keep on thinking how you made me feel better And all the crazy little things that we did together, In the end, in the end, it doesn't matter If tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

One thing Charles didn’t anticipate missing was the little things. From the drives through Monaco, hand resting on your thigh as you spoke about your day to the way you sang your favourite songs as you cooked. These little things that now drove him crazy to think about, he took those for granted. Often finding them annoying, Charles might have had a stressful day at work, and all he wanted was a bit of peace, and you were talking his ear off.

What he would give to have you like that again.

He assumed Max was probably the same. Oh, how wrong he was. Max loved to listen to you talk, your voice soothing him after a bad day; your awful singing always managed to bring a smile to his face as he walked in the front door.

Charles was looking forward to the end of the season; Christmas was when all the drivers went home. Monaco was his again; he was the only one there. You and Max had quickly stopped before flying straight to the U.K. for the first few weeks off. Monaco was quiet at Christmas; there were very few tourists, meaning He could walk the streets interrupted. This is the Monaco from his childhood, the one He fell in love with.

Christmas without you was very different; there were no big surprises, drunken confessions of love, or hastily hung mistletoe. It was quiet; his family had come to terms with the fact you weren't around anymore.

Your Christmas was vastly different; waking up in your childhood bed next to Max was amazing; it all began to feel real and good. This is where you are supposed to be. Max slipped right into your family, and they took him in as their own. Something Max would later say how much he appreciated; coming from a semi-broken family, the love and kindness meant the world to him.

‘You'll be the saddest part of me A part of me that will never be mine; It's obvious Tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

MaxVerstappen1

Liked by YourInstagram and 1,029,123 others

MaxVerstappen1 Schat, by the time you are reading this, I’m praying you will have said yes.

You are my everything; I cannot even begin to try to tell you how much you mean to me. I never believed the stories, my Mamma would tell me about finding my one true love…well, mamma, I did it. I found her.

I found her in your favourite city, doing your favourite thing, and she is perfect.

We have only properly known each other just over a year, but it feels like an eternity and that’s how long I want to spend with her.

So Schat, if you didn’t say yes…well, then I’m sure I look like a right fool now but this is me, bearing my heart and soul to you.

The simplest words to describe it are ‘I love you' so?

Will you marry me?

YourInstagram …I said yes.

YourBestFriend Dibs on maid of honour

---- LandoNorris Only if I can be the flowergirl!

F1 Time for a F1 Royal wedding!

RedBullRacing Congrats future Mr & Mrs Verstappen

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‘You're still the oxygen I breathe I see your face when I close my eyes; It's torturous Tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

‘And now I have to watch as He proposes to you, eventually marries you. I should be him, that should be me. It should be me you are walking down the aisle towards.

There’s this beautiful church in Monaco that I always pictured us getting married it, it's the same one my maman and papa got married in when they were younger; I dream about it some nights…usually after seeing you in the paddock or seeing pictures of you on social media.

I dream about the long white wedding dress with the cathedral length veil, the bouquet of flowers pressed against your stomach as your papa walked you towards me, towards our future. Then we’d exchange our vows, our promises of eternity together, through sickness and health, till death do us part. That’s what we’d promise each other.

The reception afterwards would be the best night of our lives; Pierre would give a speech, no doubt telling the story of how we met and how He witnessed our love blossom into what it was. Now I don’t know whether you’ll ever read this, but I want you to know, you have to know that you were my future. I wanted everything with you…and I struggle to see how I wasn’t enough for you. He is me in different colours…

‘You'll be the saddest part of me A part of me that will never be mine It's obvious’

YourInstagram and MaxVerstappen1

Liked by YourMum and 1,340,193 others

YourInstagram Always expect the unexpected

Baby Verstappen due in November

Mummy and Daddy would like it to be known that the wedding has been postponed until 2027 so that we can celebrate our love as a family.

Max & You x

DanielRicciardo Congrats guys, this baby won’t know what's hit them

----MaxVerstappen1 Please don’t hit our child…

-------DanielRicciardo I meant with love…

YourBestfriend I have a confession…

—-PierreGasly #BumpBuddies…

—-----YourInstagram Gasly…what did you do?

—---------YourBestfriend Me?

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Charles guessed he did know that about you...

‘Tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

‘...but that is it. Isn’t it? You’re having a baby. I’m not going to sit here and tell you how it should be me. You know that already. This is my sign to move on; you’re going to be starting a family with Max, raising some kids, the white picket fences…all that shit. I wanted that, and now…it disgusts me. How fake it all seems, don’t you see it? I am going to have to stand on the sideline and smile, I have to be happy for you, after all you do deserve happiness. I couldn’t bear to see you hounded in the media over our relationship…or lack thereof.

So I guess I’ll have to move on, you were one chapter of my life in which the book is being forced closed, you took the pen and drew lines through the last part before scribbling in the margins ‘THE END’

It’s crazy to think by the time your son or daughter is born you will have been with him nearly as long as you were with me, it feels so much longer than that. It feels like decades since I last woke up next to you…

‘You'll be the saddest part of me A part of me that will never be mine; It's obvious Tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

“Char?” She asked, trying to snap him out of his daydream. She had noticed him doing it a lot recently.

“Mhmm?” He hums, eyes fixing back onto her. Her slightly darker hair, longer as it fell way past her shoulders. Your’s sat perfectly on your shoulders, bouncing effortlessly as you moved.

“What have I got to do to keep your attention? I just had a whole conversation with myself,” She says to him. ‘Be her’ was what he wanted to say but He knew she would just up and leave. Just like you did. Like they all did.

“You have my attention Celine,” He says bluntly, both of them knowing he was lying.

“Ok, well as I was saying…” She started to say before Charles zoned out again, she decided to ignore it this time and just pretend he was listening, that's what she usually did. She was on a date with Charles Leclerc after all…this had to go well.

Charles couldn’t see her, all he saw was how she was not you. She didn’t smile the way you did, the way he loved, with dimples growing as your smile widened. She didn’t blush when He complimented her, like He was the first guy in the world to notice her beauty.

She just wasn’t you.

‘You're still the oxygen I breathe I see your face when I close my eyes It's torturous’

YourInstagram and MaxVerstappen1

Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 3,019,394 others

YourInstagram After three years and one beautiful baby girl later…I can finally call myself ‘Mrs Verstappen’

Truly the happiest day of my life and so incredibly thankful that we were able to share it with our closest friends and family, the day would not have been the same without you.

Fleur is very much looking forward to staying with her Grandma Sophie whilst Max and I enjoy some time to ourselves.

Mr and Mrs Verstappen x

DanielRicciardo best best man ever!!!!!!!!

—- LandoNorris Fleur took my spot as flower girl…groomsman was ok, I guess

—-----YourBestfriend And didn’t she look adorable?.

F1 Royal wedding? Check!

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Charles watched as his love slipped through his fingers. “Do you Max Emilian Verstappen take Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife?” The officiant asked, and Charles silently begged him to say no, to say it was all a mistake.

“I do,”

Charles winced at those words.

“-and do you Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N take Max Emilian Verstappen to be your lawfully wedded husband?” She asked. Charles was holding his breath, time started to slow down…

“I do,”

A silent tear rolled down his face.

‘Tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

‘Its strange to think I’ve been writing this letter for three years, I reread the words and remember all the emotions attached to them, I can remember what triggered all those feelings, where in the world I was at that point. And now, I guess it will end. I had originally intended to give you this letter, as one last ‘I love you’ but I now know that isn’t fair. On you, on Max, or on Fleur.

So as I conclude my letter to nobody, I think about watching you drive away tonight. Fleur in your mothers arms as you set off for your honeymoon. Part of me wished I had brought a date, to distract me from you. But I’m glad I didn’t. I think this was the closure I needed, I needed to know you were his…and not mine anymore…not that I think you were ever mine to begin with. Tonight will be the loneliest, as I lay here thinking about you, and what it could have been.

Charles.

P.s I will always love you.'

#f1 #f1 imagine #pierre gasly #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc x you #formula 1 imagine #formula one x reader #max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #pierre gasly x reader #max verstappen imagine #formula1 #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfiction #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 #Spotify

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celticcrossanon · 4 months

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BRF Reading - 15th of May, 2024

This is speculation only

Cards drawn on the 15th of May, 2024

Question: Are Meghan and Harry actively trying to kill The King?

As I was shuffling the cards for this reading, two cards flew out. I was going to draw one card for Meghan, one for Harry, and one for them as a couple, plus the underlying energy, but those two cards told me everything I needed to know.

This is a two card reading

Warning: This reading contains some of the ugliest energy I have ever encountered in all my years of tarot reading. Please prepare yourself before you read it and do not read it if you are feeling at all upset/despondent/shaky/insecure etc. You need to be protected by God/Jesus/the angels/the universe/whomever you call upon to protect you before you read this reading.

Answer: Yes

Card One: The Three of Swords

This is the card that flew out of my deck as I was shuffling. One look and I had my answer.

The Three of Swords is a card of grief, heartbreak, despair. It shows King Agamemnon being killed in his bath by his wife Clytemnestra and her lover.

Clytemnestra brooded over past injuries done to her by the King until she decided to kill him. In this card she represents Harry, with his belief that the BRF has ''victimised' him (e.g. by taking away his military honours).

Her lover, Aegisthus, believed his family has been betrayed by the father of Agamemnon and had been conceived to take revenge on the family. He represents Meghan, with her belief that the BRF has hurt her (eg no one asked me if I was Ok, no one cared about my mental health, they are racist and all her other lies) and her desire for vengeance on them.

The picture shows the death of the rightful King by Clytemnestra and her lover. I am taking this as the death of The King at the hands of Harry and Meghan, in answer to my question. Harry and Meghan want to kill The King. They want to inflict the grief and heartbreak and despair of his death on the BRF.

Card Two: The Eight of Swords in reverse

The energy of this card is of stress. The reverse position has intensified the upright energy (as it sometimes does) instead of reversing the meaning of it. It also adds a delayed time element to the energy.

Harry and Meghan want to use stress to kill The King. They wants him to feel trapped, hemmed in, unable to move or escape, especially mentally. This card can represent someone who is trapped/paralysed by their thoughts and who feels helpless, and that is the energy of the card - what Meghan and Harry want to invoke in The King.

There is a very strong relentless energy to this card - Meghan and Harry will not give up until The King either a) abdicates in their favour (yes, I know that is not possible, but we are dealing with two delusional people here) or b) drops dead from stress - stroke, heart attack, cancer, they do not care.

There is a vicious energy to this card that lashes out repeatedly until the desired object is achieved - an energy I can only describe as stabbing, over and over again, until the person is dead. There is a chant going through my mind of 'stab stab stab kill kill kill' as I type this. The 'stabs' are emotional and stress wounds.

These two cards tell me that Meghan and Harry have planned to kill The King and they will not stop until it is accomplished - and then they will turn their attention to Prince William.

This is truly ugly energy - vicious, self-centred, and laser focused on their desires with no thought of anyone else.

Because it is so ugly I asked for a third card as confirmation, just to make sure I am on the right track about this, as it is a horrible thing to say about anyone.

Confirmation Card: King of Cups in reverse

The King of Cups is the card for Scorpio, and as such it represents King Charles, who is a sun sign Scorpio. In the reverse, it shows King Charles in decline, weakened, not strong and happy (that would be the card upright). The card represents King Charles in his role as a person, father/husband/uncle etc, and not in his role as King. To have it in reverse as a confirmation card is a definite yes. Harry and Meghan want The King to die and they are actively trying to bring this about.

Just in case there is any doubt, the card after this was The Seven of Swords.

The Seven of Swords - deceit, trickery, lies, scheming - with the pictures showing Orestes creeping into the city/palace to kill his mother for murdering his father. The card showing a son in the act of murdering a parent and the meaning of the card - thief, lies, deceit, scheming - confirm the message above and add to it - Harry and Meghan are trying to kill The King so they can steal what is his for themselves.

Notice that all the suit cards I am pulling are Swords - the suit of thoughts, plans, and strategies. Another confirmation. There is no emotion involved here (that would be Cups) - just a cold and merciless desire to remove someone who stands in the way of their plans.

This is revolting energy and I am going to stop now.

A note of hope - just because Harry and Meghan are actively trying to do this, there is no guarantee that they will succeed, especially if we pray for The King and for Prince William and his family and/or we send them protective energy. St Michael the Archangel is a good angel to ask to protect them if anyone is so inclined.

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dogloveri23 · 4 months

Text

Fangs Of A Monster

Pairing: Suguru Geto x gn!reader

Warning: murder, death, angst

A/n: Welcome to the blog anniversary. It's been 4 years writing for you all. Thought I'd drop a little something for you all from today till the end of the week(hopefully ) to commemorate the day!

"Suguru? Suguru? Where are you?", you call out but I'm met with silence. The door was left wide open which was strange for Suguru's parents.

You could feel your arm hurt as you ran your fingers along the wall. You weren't the strongest sorcerer and your body knew that better than anyone. Well... anyone but Geto. You hadn't gotten the chance to head back to Jujutsu High. Not when he hadn't informed you of his status. He was not in Jujutsu High. That's all you knew.

You can sense any curse energy seeping out of the house. It was familiar but much too ominous. The house is in perfect order. Nothing spilt, nothing torn and the quiet humming of the TV but the smell was horrendous.

You take a look at the pictures on the wall and smile. You watch as they progress and look at the changes Suguru has undergone. His wide and toothy grin gradually fell into a sly and curt smile as each picture passed. When you compare it to the latest picture of him on the wall, it doesn't look anything like a smile.

"Suguru?," You cross the boundaries even further finally reaching the living room. The smell had increased ten-fold. The couch seemed empty but the table in front of it was amiss. You walk closer and are met with the lower halves of two bodies. That was what stunk. You jump back and press your arms tightly against your lips to keep you from screaming.

They were Geto's parents or at least what remained of them. "Does Geto know about this? Has he seen them?" you think. The grotesque bodies in front of you were covered in maggots and flies meaning it had been like this for a few days.

You rush out of the house with a bitter taste in your mouth. Something was wrong. A curse had clearly done it, the bite was massive, and no animal on earth could do it without some sort of assistance.

You tap violently against your screen before bringing it to your ear. You needed to see him. You needed to be sure he was ok. That he had someone near him. Someone he loved!

"Hello my love, were you looking for me," You hear him say as he approaches you in the hallway of the apartment building. You end the call and sigh in relief. He was alive but something was wrong.

"Geto! Are you hurt?," You rush to him and inspect him for any injuries it marks he did not leave jujutsu high with.

"I am fine, my love."

"Your parents, they-"

"I know"

"How are you so calm?"

"Because your parents are the same way."

"What?," You question, his statement not fully registering in your mind.

"I mean that they died the same way yours did. Did you not know? Don't tell me you came to Tokyo to search for me without ever stopping to see your parents-" He smiled. "-You really are the best partner a man could ever ask for."

Your eyes were wide when he laughed. The way he always did. He relayed the message that your parents died and was laughing!

"What is wrong with you Suguru? You can't say all that and laugh. Have you gone mad?"

"Pardon me, my love. But you can't expect me to be sad that a couple of monkeys died."

"Monkeys? What do yo-"

"I guess I'll have to say it. I killed them. I have no regrets about it either. I have a plan to erase curses from the face of the earth for good! They were a small price to pay-"

"They were my parents Geto! Our parents. You had no right to take their life!"

"They were non-jujutsu sorcerers, they bred curses and they shackled you,"

"Shackled me? You've truly gone mad Geto!"

"You told me that if I ever had anything I needed, you were in, I didn't even have to ask-"

"Not when it involves killing people! Geto! Not when it involves killing my parents and everyone you consider a Monkey!"

"You may not understand but I did it all for us. I couldn't stand to keep tasting curses, nor did I want you to keep getting hurt fighting them."

You never asked him to do this. So what if you get hurt? What if you get into a bit of trouble? You come out alive! You fell silent, a single question lingering on your mind.

"If-if I couldn't use curses, would you kill me too?", You asked quietly. You weren't sure what answer you wanted to hear. The man in front of you was nothing like the man you once knew. This man was over the edge and he intended to drag you along with him.

He fell silent, he was thinking. He had given me his answer.

"You would."

"Love I-"

"Don't call me that! Not after what you've done."

"Don't say th-"

"I shouldn't? Let me say this instead. I never want to see you again, Geto. The next time you see me, consider me your enemy."

"Love please I-," Geto can't get the words to form when you storm past him down the hallway. He feels his chest burn and suddenly it feels as though this was God's way of paying him back for his wrongs. This fate was much worse than the deaths of any of the Monkeys he had killed. He had lost the best piece of him, you.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu geto #genshin impact #jujutsu gojo #getou suguru x reader #geto x reader #jjk geto #geto suguru #geto x reader angst #jjk geto x reader #dogloveri23 #jjk x reader

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budgiesunset · 2 years

Text

Kidnapped || Neteyam X Reader

•Warnings• Mentioning of blood, kidnapping, guns, gun wound, torture, mention of death, SPOILERS!

Summary: In this story you are Neteyams mate and you get taken instead of spider.

“Where is she? Where is YN?” Neteyam questioned his siblings along with Spider. “I don’t know one minute she was right behind us the next it was like she was never there,” Lo’ak responded keeping his head down to avoid eye contact with his older brother. “So… you mean to tell me that you lost my mate and now she is probably half way to the skywalkers base? •He looked at his younger brother who just nodded back• HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID YOU SKXAWNG!” Neteyam screamed “If she dies it is your fault Lo’ak” Neteyam said poking Lo’ak in the chest with one of his fingers. “Neteyam calm down its not Lo’aks fault it’s mine I zoned out and one of the skywalkers tried to grab me but YN pushed me out of the way and they got her.” Spider confessed looking at the ground ashamed.

“YOU IDIOT!” Neteyam cried lunging at Spider but Jake caught him holding him back as Spider moved out of the way. “Neteyam calm down, YN is going to be ok she’s strong and can take care of her self. We will find her I promise,” Jake said while still trying to stop his son from ripping Spider apart.

•Back at the caves• “I need to find her, I need to save her” Neteyam spoke trying not to start crying as he stared his farther in the eyes. “I know Neteyam but my responsibility is to our family and we have to leave to keep everyone else safe” Jake replied “WHAT ABOUT YN? YN IS MY FAMILY. I WONT JUST LEAVE WHEN SHE HAS BEEN TAKEN BY SKYWALKERS!” Neteyam retorted back Jake just stared back stunned at his son’s response. “Neteyam… you are not going to be any help to her when you have been taken too, she would want you to come with us.”

•After the family has arrived on the island and they decided to let them stay• Neteyam has been quiet ever since arriving on the island barley sleeping or eating most days he just sits in the sand looking out at the ocean ‘wondering what is happening to you what they have done to you if you’ve escaped and wondering why he left and didn’t come to save you.’

•With you and the skywalkers• You couldn’t even guess how long you had been there but if you had to you would definitely say more than a day. You had been tortured to try and get information from you when you over heard their plan to go to the islands and take you along to translate what the Navi would say.

as they escorted you off the boat and onto the sand they showed a picture to the Navi but when they didn’t get the answer they wanted they burned the houses. You tried to stop them but one of the soldiers shot you in the back causing you to fall and go unconscious. Blood leaked form your back coloring the sand around you deep red.

•With Jake, Neteyam and Tonowari• “The skywalkers have come to the Islands in search of you Jake they have a Navi with them a girl who they shot and left on the Island” Tonowari said looking at the two in front of him “They are not going to say anything to the skywalkers on my orders” he continued before walking away. “YN… They shot and left her, YN is here I have to go to her.” Neteyam said about to walk off to his ilu but Jake grabbed his arm holding him back. “Not so fast if they did just leave her it’s probably a trap.” Jake warned “I don’t care she is my mate and I love her I will not abandon her when she is injured” Neteyam spoke back annoyed that his father was probably right about it being a trap. “I will talk to Tonowari and see if someone else can bring her but until then do not go after her that is an order do you understand” Jake stated.

“Yes sir” Neteyam replied.

It had been almost two days since you had been shot and you woke up in a small hit looking around before you tried to sit up feeling a strong pain run up your back. “Hello?” You said your throat dry.

“YN?” You heard seeing a head poke from around the corner it took a moment to adjust to the lighting but you knew by the voice it was your mate Neteyam.

Neteyam came running towards sitting down next to you holding you tight not even thinking of letting you go. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t came save you and that I left you there.” Neteyam spoke voice breaking. “Shhh it’s not your fault… and I’m ok now I’m with you.” You replied.

Neteyam looked at you again before placing a soft kiss onto your temple and holding your head to his chest wiping away tears. For the rest of the day and days after he did not leave your side, scared that they might take you away from him.

______________________________________________ Hope you enjoyed thank you for reading. And again sorry about any mistakes throughout the story.

#avatar way of water #avatar way of water x reader #neteyam x reader #x reader

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moonfungers · 6 months

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this is sort of random as hell but i can't help but think of like. a funger termina isekai fic. 💀 no but like. FEAR AND HUNGER IS THE WORST universe to be inside, really. it's all misery!!! pain!! suffering!! and i'm just picturing this like, regular person gets transported into the universe and just absolutely loses her shit bc she KNOWS, she KNOWS DAMN WELL exactly how she's screwed, far better than anyone else!! she's played the games dozens and dozens of times, died so many times, and now she's IN that setting, she's in that world, and death is now PERMANENT with REAL stakes. she knows the entire game like the back of her hand, but what does it matter, bc it's fear and hunger. there's only so much knowledge that can help you . .

in my head, in a lot of isekai fic and stuff, ocs tend to like, hide the fact that they know things? but i feel like a modern-day oc who gets transported into fear and hunger would be forced into a position where she has to be honest bc its the best chance of survival. this isn't a game where she can just follow the right steps, recruit the people, get them to do the things, this is now real and dangerous and terrifying, and she knows that she can't do it alone.

and i'm just picturing like. d1, she wakes up before everyone else, loses her shit, and then promptly refuses to let ANYONE leave the train. no no but like, also can you picture what im seeing, this woman just pacing back and forth frantically, very clearly losing it, and she's like "you fuckers are not going ANYWHERE, we are all traveling TOGETHER, bc you all do not understand how much danger we're in" and then the others are like, you know, the train just stopped, weird dream, they haven't even been to prehevil yet so they don't know how fucked up everything is over there, and now this random stranger is just losing her shit, they don't take her seriously bc honestly who would, and so she just. she just starts fucking putting them on blast

"o'saa i know you went into the dungeons and nasrah's with you" "pav you will SIT your motherfucking ass down, you do not stand a chance against the fucking kaiser and it isn't even the REAL one you fucking idiot"

"levi i know youre going thru like. withdrawal right now and its totally ok and we have a doctor here and i will get you some heroin if i need to but like please dont run off where i cant find you"

and just basically knows stuff she absolutely shouldn't know, and she's like "YOU GUYS GOTTA BELIEVE ME BC OTHERWISE WE WILL LITERALLY ALL DIE, DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND. there is only ONE way to guarantee us to live and im telling you this bc i know how screwed we are and i cant do it alone ive never even held a fucking weapon in my entire LIFE i just play video games at home-" and also how fucked up is it, that this isekai oc would know damn well that no matter what, someone has to die? like. you either kill everyone else and like get sulfurized/escape, you get moonscorched bc you run out of time, or someone has to become one with logic. aka to get the best "everyone lives" run, someone still needs to die

idk my brain just had this pop into my brain and won't let it go. it'd like, a cliche trope ofc, but i feel like in the context of fear and hunger, it'd be just so horrifying and awful and so WONDERFUL to read

bc its like, fear and hunger is a game series that we know damn well is a horrible like, UNIVERSE to be in, its depressing and awful for the characters who live in it, but can you imagine the ripe ANGST of having an isekai oc from our world go into it? they have our world as a reference point, in the way none of the other characters do, bc this is their world, they don't know anything else, how could they? but this isekai oc would just be so fucking-- innocent in the way the others aren't, bc she hasn't lived through the horrible F&H world and like, the dynamic there is so so interesting too bc all of the characters in termina, all of them on that train are AWARE or have been involved/done bad things, and this here is a character who hasn't, who hasn't seen blood or misery for her entire fucking LIFE. she'd be an "everyman" character by our standards, you know, but by their standards? she'd be such a fucking anomaly with the shit she says, the things she believes in. and also, you know, the fact she knows things about all of them and the situation they're in she has absolutely no right to know and its so SO interesting to think about, actually?? like genuinely losing my mind thinking about this rn

#fear and hunger termina #fear and hunger termina spoilers #rambles #funger #f&h #fear and hunger #my post #god i rambled so hard #if anyone has other thoughts on this idea please ramble too im kjfldsjfksd #I HAVE NO IDEA IF ANYONE WILL EVEN READ THIS #BUT RAAHHHHH

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grievedeeply · 2 years

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ok, i have a VERY weirdly specific scenario i thought of which i thought would make a great imagine.

hear me out, maybe the reader has a sort of scenario the same as arisu after the queen of hearts game where he’s in the bar with karube and chota, except maybe its the reader saying her last goodbyes to karube who she dated before the games?

idk if that’s not what type of request you’re looking for, just a weird scenario i thought of!

this has me shaking and crying and punching the air. karube has been one of, if not my favorite character, in the entire show, so this punched me in the gut 😭 thanks for the request and for breaking my heart anon.

if you want extra heartbreak listen to this playlist i listened to on repeat while i wrote this. it's my own so i'm biased but i think it fits with this :"( edit. i wrote this entire thing and then tumblr deleted it soooo forgive me if this is bad

gn!reader | tags: @hawkins-hs @energeticsirens @fiona782 | join my taglist!!!

tws: a lot of angst. main character death, bittersweet ending. no pronouns used but reader has long hair and karube says beautiful

your happy ending — karube daikichi

your heart had felt empty for a long time.

though, you would be lying if you said that you didn't let out a sigh of relief when mira died. not because you wanted her to. no matter how cruel she was.. no one deserved a death like that. not even her. a part of you felt like she was a victim too. if you were honest with yourself.. she probably was. even though it felt good to be free of the hell you found yourself in for so long, you thought of her. kyuma, too.

you remembered chishiya, who had gotten shot twice trying to protect the people he cared about. he wouldn't have done that before. he was so.. different. things had changed within him. he was becoming even more difficult to read.

you thought of arisu, who stood shakily next to you, holding usagi's hand in his own. the two of them deserved their own happy ending— and you were certain that they would get it now.

a happy ending.. right.

you wouldn't be getting one of those.

you were unlucky. you knew that. you felt it from the moment you had your first coherent thought.

but he was.. he was lucky.

he was your good luck charm. your sweetheart. he was your everything, and now he was gone. you could only picture his beautiful face in your mind. his smile and his generous heart lived on only in your memories.

you wouldn't get your happy ending with him.

the world was cruel. you were well aware of that fact, too. the universe always took the kindest people first, and you wished that it were you instead of him that had died that day.

you looked towards arisu, and somehow, you could tell he was thinking about him too. karube and chota, both. they were his closest, most trusted friends. they died.. and he lived. he would have to live with that guilt for the rest of his life. no matter how many times you reassured him that it wasn't on him, he wouldn't listen. he was too stubborn.

"now, all surviving players will be given a choice." the voice had sounded like nails on a chalkboard now, but still, you looked towards the sky and paid attention. "please select whether you will accept permanent residence in this land, or if you will not." the voice rang through your mind, and you let out yet another sigh of relief.

"i.. don't think i'm going to." you spoke up, turning your head to look at arisu and usagi. his grip on her hand tightened and you felt a pang in your heart. you could only wish that things were different.

"i.. don't want permanent residence." usagi breathed out, a warm and gentle smile on her lips as she stared at arisu. he repeated her sentence back to her, with an expression on his face that you could only assume was similar to hers.

you felt as though time had stopped for a moment.. and you closed your eyes.

"are you sleeping?"

you blinked a few times, trying to force your eyes open. you recognized where you sat. it was karube's couch. one you found yourself visiting more often than you'd like to admit. his apartment was a safe haven for you. he had told you once to come whenever you like, and you took his words literally, even if he probably didn't mean it at the time.

your eyes focused, and you looked around. everything was the same. the tv that sat in front of you, the messy kitchen in the corner of your eye. what was happening?

you turned your head, expecting to be met with the door that had led to the balcony, but you were greeted with something much better.

your boyfriend's face.

he had a playful smile etched across his face, and your expression softened. your eyes widened. you felt the urge to reach out for him. was it a dream? was he still with you? "come on, i don't have you speechless already, do i?" your boyfriend's voice rang out as clear as day in your ears, and you let out a shaky breath. was this a dream? a nightmare? a game to physiologically torture you?

"daikichi?" you finally uttered his name, and he nodded. he was just as beautiful as the last time you'd seen him though.. this time he had something of an ethereal glow. you were probably imagining it, too focused on his presence to care about things that didn't make sense.

"oh, daikichi.." you hummed, gathering the courage to reach out for his hand. your fingers didn't move right through him, no. you were met with skin. he was really there, sitting in front of you with that same grin he wore on his face every day.

you could feel tears well up in your eyes at the sight of him, the realization of him being real sinking in after a few moments. "i've missed you so much." you lifted his hand to your lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it gently. it felt as though he would break. "mm. don't want blurry vision." he chuckled, wiping your cheeks with his thumbs, "i missed you too." he chuckled, quickly taking you into his arms after looking into your eyes for a few seconds.

you sank into his touch, your arms easily wrapping around his neck as they had done so many times before. this couldn't be a game, you told yourself. he was really there in front of you. you pulled away from the hug after a few moments of sitting in silence, your eyes closed as you took him in.

your gaze flickered back and forth between his lips, and he raised an eyebrow, "come on. kiss me."

you leaned towards him suddenly, pushing him back against the couch. you pushed yourself up, your hands resting on either side of his head. you admired him, taking in every detail of his face. his smile, his eyes.. everything. after another few seconds, you pressed your lips to his. his hands rested on your waist, holding you tight. it was almost as though this would be your last kiss. you didn't think about that. he was real, and you would enjoy the moment. he squeezed your sides, humming contently against your lips.

he pulled away first, easily slipping his hand to your face. he brushed your hair behind your ear, "so beautiful." he hummed, looking to be in a daze as he stared up at you. you only laughed, nudging him playfully as you sat back up. you pulled him up with you, enjoying his touch for as long as you could.

"i don't want this to end." you told him, and suddenly the smile on his face was replaced with a frown. small, yet noticeable. "what's that look for?" you asked after a moment, and he pursed his lips.

"you have to let me go." he spoke, his eyes meeting yours. "what are you talking about?" you laughed breathlessly, furrowing your eyebrows. "you know." karube replied without missing a beat, gesturing to his neck. "no.. no." you whispered out to him, your throat feeling dry. "it was over, daikichi.. it was over." you continued, shaking your head.

"i know, baby," he muttered, taking one of your hands in his as a way to attempt to comfort you. "but you have to let me go." he spoke again, and you shook your head. "i can't. i can't.. i can't just let you go. i can't do it." you countered, and he let out a sigh, squeezing your hand.

"you remember our first date?" he asked, seemingly out of nowhere as he noticed the tears forming in your eyes. you nodded, blinking a few times. why would he bring it up now? "remember i took you to the movies.. i even did that stereotypical movie date move," he chuckled, removing his hand from yours to wrap it around your shoulders, repeating what he had done on your first date together.

"you were so into it that you accepted my offer for a second date." he laughed to himself, squeezing your shoulder with his hand, pulling you closer to his chest. "and i remember this time.. i was so nervous. i never went to fancy restaurants so, i.. i remember putting on that suit and staring at myself in the mirror, telling myself i looked really stupid in that suit." he continued, his voice lowering to a soft whisper.

"then i got there and your eyes nearly popped out of your skull." he nuzzled his head against your own, and you rolled your eyes. "no, they did not. i just said you looked good." he laughed at your words, but shook his head. "you should've seen your face, baby. i swear, your eyes were so far out of your head. your jaw was on the floor."

"oh, come on." you muttered, forgetting entirely about what had happened before. "it was not. you just have a massive ego."

"one that you fueled with that expression." he shrugged, lips pressed together in a smile. you rolled your eyes, and you fell silent.

"i don't.. want to let you go, daikichi."

"i know you don't." he took in a shaky breath. "if it were up to me.. i'd keep you here forever and we'd live in our own little world."

"why can't we do that?" you asked, a frown forming on your face as you looked up into his eyes. the look in your eyes was nearly enough for him to start crying himself.

"it's not your time yet." he replied. "you have a whole life to live. and.. when it's over, i'll be right here." he hummed as though his words were some that were spoken every day, and you pulled yourself out of his grip to look at his face.

"i can't just let you go. i can't do it."

"i'm not asking you to forget about me. about us," he said, "the live we could've had." he looked away from you and out the window, reaching into his pocket.

he pulled out a small box, and you furrowed your eyebrows. he turned his attention back to you after a few seconds of contemplation.

"i had everything planned out," he whispered, opening it with a bittersweet smile. inside was a ring.. a beautiful one, one that you assume he'd picked out himself. "i had this entire proposal planned. it was gonna be at the bar. obviously." he shrugged. "where we first met. i had a speech. i was ready and willing to confess my love to you in front of all of those people." he laughed breathlessly, blinking a few times.

"the marriage? i had the perfect image in my mind. i would've had two best men.. because i knew i wouldn't be able to pick between chota and arisu," he laughed, "and i would be wearing that same suit that i wore when you fell in love with me."

"oh, please."

"what?" he chuckled.

"i didn't fall in love with you when you were wearing that suit."

"when did you, then?"

"right when i met you," it was your turn to shrug, "i saw you behind the bar and thought to myself.. i have to try. i have to get his number or something. you asked me for mine first, so i didn't have to." you laughed at the memory.

you remembered how he looked that day. you remembered his smile as you walked into the bar, directed right at you. you could feel your heart skip a beat at the sight of him.. and it was then, you knew.

"you really wanted to marry me?" you spoke up again after the room fell silent. "of course i did." karube replied without hesitation. "you were the only one for me. and you still are."

"but you still have to let me go," he continued with his previous conversation. "i don't want you to forget all of that. i always want you to think of me and get all flustered.. have that same silly grin on your face like you always did when you saw me." he chuckled.

"i want you to feel okay moving on. you deserve to.. to live a happy life with someone else. you don't need a dead boyfriend holding you back from that happiness."

you had nothing to say to that.

"you promise me that you'll at least try? i want you to be okay with someone else other than me." karube continued even with your lack of a response, and you nodded wordlessly.

"good," he pulled you close to press a kiss to your forehead. "and when the time's right.. i'll be right here waiting for you." he reassured you with a smile, and you found the strength to return it.

were you foolish for believing he was alive, even if it was for a split second?

"you'll have your happy ever after." he whispered, taking your face in his hands. "i promise." he chuckled, noticing your worried expression. "i'll find you again, baby. i will." karube reassured you with a gentle smile, and all you could do is nod.

you took his hands in yours, leaning forwards to kiss him again. he met you in the middle, his eyes closing as soon as your lips touched his. you melded together perfectly.. in every way. he was your soulmate. there was no erasing that.

you wouldn't ever be as happy with anyone else as you were with him. you knew that. but he wanted you to feel okay moving on, and you knew that, at some point, you would be.

he pulled away and looked into your eyes.

"i love you." he whispered.

"i love you more."

your entire body was sore. you noticed that as soon as you opened your eyes and were met with the blinding lights of the hospital room you laid in.

the silhouette of a nurse stood next to you, and she greeted you with a warm smile. "how are you feeling?" she asked you politely, looking up at the screen in front of her to check your heart rate before returning her eyes to you. "everything hurts." you mutter, and you earn a laugh from her. "we can take care of relieving some of the pain but.. for now," her smile turned into a bittersweet expression.

"i am sorry for your loss."

you felt a pang in your heart at your words, and you finally looked into her eyes. you felt so weak. so.. frail.

"he had this," she held a small box in her hand out to you, "in his pocket. the paramedics insisted you have it." she whispered out to you. "he seemed like a kind young man."

"he was." you cut her off before she could say anything else, taking the box out of her grip after a few seconds of staring at it.

"i'll.. leave you alone. press this button if you need anything, okay?" her voice was kind, and you managed to send a small smile her way before she shut the door to your room behind her.

you knew what it was. you had seen it..

you opened the box and the same ring karube had shown you was inside. you couldn't help but to laugh, letting your head fall back on the pillow for a moment. you forced yourself up again, taking it completely out of the box.

"yes." you whispered to the sky, slipping the ring onto your finger with a bittersweet smile.

"yes."

#alice in borderland x you #alice in borderland x reader #alice in borderland #aib x you #aib x reader #aib #karube daikichi #karube x reader #karube alice in borderland #aib karube #karube daikichi x reader

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queerly-autistic · 8 months

Text

My dad just messaged me going "seeing all this 'Save OFMD' stuff made me realise some things never change" and attached a load of pictures he'd dug up from fifteen years ago of me in my 'Save Ianto Jones' fan campaign era.

As much as it made me laugh, it also made me think about something that I've not talked about before: the fact that this is what introduced me to campaigning.

I was a very lost queer (undiagnosed autistic) kid, bullied and lonely and keenly aware that there were a lot of bad things happening in the world, but I had no idea how to begin to even try to change things, or even any awareness that there was anything I could do to change anything.

And then my favourite show killed off my favourite character, and I suddenly accidentally found myself swept up in the mobilisation (without even realising that that was what was happening) of the fan community around me. It's where I learned about the idea of campaigning as, y'know, a thing that I could do. It introduced me to the concept that I could actively try and do things to make a change I wanted to see in the world.

And now that's my actual literal real world adult job. This is what I do in my 9-to-5. Some of the skills I learned and developed at seventeen (and the lessons from the fuck-ups - oh boy there were many of those because I was seventeen) trying to get the BBC to un-dead my favourite bisexual welshman are skills that I now use every day to actually create change (such as writing persuasive emails to influence a specific target).

And I've also used them outside of the 9-5 in the smaller grassroots campaigns I've been involved with. For example, the skills I learned from a fan campaign when I was a teenager helped me play a small part in stopping the deportation of young autistic man, and potentially saved his life.

There's a HUGE amount of crossover/symbiosis between fan campaigns and 'real world' campaigning. A huge number of people involved in these fan campaigns are already involved in organising (or at the very least supporting/donating) for 'real world' issues. And, if they're not, then a fan campaign may well be their introduction to campaigning - a 'wow ok so I can actually do this' moment that inspires them to start pushing for change on other issues too.

It's fantastic if someone goes 'hey, I managed to call Netflix about picking up Our Flag Means Death, which has made me realise maybe I can also cope with picking up the phone to call my political representatives about [insert other issue here]' - and if the strategies they put in place to help them do the Netflix phone call also help them do the political phone calls as well, then that's absolutely brilliant.

The same with getting experience/confidence writing emails, or learning how to create and push a hashtag on social media, or realising the power of taking mass actions (like signing a petition). It even goes so far as inspiring people to follow up a fan campaign donation with an additional donation to a good cause, and helping direct them to some good charities/initiatives to donate to (because sometimes knowing which are the right ones to send your money too is very hard). These are all skills and experiences that can help build both confidence and understanding of how to get involved with campaigning for change, and these are absolutely transferrable to an infinite number of causes.

It's about people feeling empowered to take action: feeling like they can do it, that it's tangible to them as something they can do, and giving them the tools to do it. The endgame in real world advocacy and campaigning is getting stuff done: petitions signed, phone calls made, emails sent, donations collected, rallies attended.

And no one (outside of the internet moral purity police) cares if your journey getting there started with a fan campaign.

#erin waffles #save ofmd #save our flag means death #renew ofmd #renew our flag means death #adopt our crew #ianto jones #torchwood #save ianto jones #advocacy #campaigning #look at me in these pictures i'm a fetus

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impossiblycolorfulpanda · 3 months

Text

Alternate take of the awakening: Text about Zuko and Azula finally capturing the avatar along with Ba Sing Se

At the Fire Nation Capital, Zuko and Azula return to the royal palace and prepare to face their father, Ozai, and present their prisoner, Avatar Aang. Zuko turns to Aang with a death glare.

Zuko: Ok Avatar! You are to be seen! Not heard! If you do anything that embarrasses me or him...

Azula: Zuzu. Relax. We've already been through this. He gets the picture. Let's go.

Zuko grudgingly complies, he breathes deeply and they all enter. The siblings bow before Ozai, Azula yanks on Aang to do the same.

Ozai: Rise.

They do so.

Ozai: You've been away for a long time, my son. I see the weight of your travels has changed you.

Zuko: Father, I have done what you asked. I give to you, the avatar.

Ozai: Yes. You have. And for that, you have redeemed yourself. I am also proud that you've helped bring down Ba Sing Se. (Approaches Aang; the camera pans up to view Ozai's full face for the first time) Welcome to our home. Avatar Aang.

Aang: You know who I am?

Ozai: I do. I never stopped searching for you. After 100 years of failure to find you, now the universe, and by extension, my children, deliver you to me as an act of providence.

Aang gulps and breaths deeply.

Ozai: One of my greatest spies and playwright, Pu-on Tim, has been keeping tabs on you. Emerging from an iceberg, innocently unaware of the onslaughts, fighting your own avatar powers. You seem...confused.

Aang: Maybe once. But not anymore. You need to stop this. Please.

Ozai: Why would I stop now? We have just achieved two of our greatest prizes ever and I'm not sure you've been paying attention, but this started with the great comet, and so it shall end. The other nations couldn't live together before.

Aang: Because you made sure that they couldn't!

Ozai: Oh please. I only helped along the inevitable. Have you ever wondered why your predecessors created four nations instead of one world? Why they allowed Ba Sing Se to leave their poor for dead or their water tribes to treat their women as less significant than men?

Aang: I don't agree with what they've done but brutalizing their homelands into submission and murdering innocent people who live there isn't the answer.

Ozai: Unity will be achieved one way or another. I must say. I am very impressed that you managed to remain the same age for a whole 100 years. With longevity like that, why would you even need to reincarnate? Now, that you are here, what shall we do with you?

Azula: If I may, Father, I explained to him his ultimatum. If he vows to forever obey me and accepts his position as my prisoner, I promised he would be treated with dignity and like he's a part of our royal family. If he refuses, disobeys the simplest requests, or does or says anything without my permission, I will eliminate him myself, slowly.

Ozai: Do you accept such terms?

Azula: (Yanks on Aangs chains) He asked you a question. Answer it.

Aang: (Gives Ozai an almost defiant expression) Yes. My lord. I humbly agree to these terms.

Ozai: Good. You stay with him, Azula, never let him out of your sight for a second. You know what to do when he starts acting unruly.

Azula: Yes. By your command.

#atla #aang #azula #zuko #ozai

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impawsiblecat · 5 months

Text

100 Days of Deathduo

Day Nine- Reverse Phasmo Au Chapter 5/The final Chapter

Tw: Past character death

The final chapter! This is so exciting.

The bottom half of the house is almost completely done. Pretty soon Clover will be able to work on the upstairs, will be able to put her own furniture and renovations in. While that does require her to visit the ghost, she doesn’t really think that will be a problem. After what happened last time, she has a feeling the ghost isn’t necessarily malicious. And they had looked so sadly at the music box, it was hard to view them as evil and harmful. Perhaps it was a naive way of thinking, but well, she just couldn’t.

That didn’t mean that Clover was particularly excited to get to cleaning out their room, but well. It had to be done, eventually. At least she had a homemade walk in freezer, now. She was still gonna save that room for last. And invest in some hand warmers. And hope that the ghost wasn’t too much of a problem.

What was an actual problem was the growing pile of papers and mementos. It would be resolved soon, hopefully. She had found an old address book, and had managed to get in contact with one of the previous people that had lived here. Clover was pretty sure it was the brother that had shown up in the pictures, and he had agreed to come and pick up the items.

Clover knows that theres a ton more he will probably want from upstairs, too, but the pile is just too big right now. And he mentioned he was only a few hours away, so it shouldn’t be too much of a hassle to get everything else to him later.

It’s always so strange when waiting for someone to come over, Clover thinks, as she sits on the stairs. She could clean a little more, but what if she gets engrossed in her work and forgets to listen for the doorbell? She scrolls on her phone instead, making sure to occasionally look outside the window.

The man arrives shortly after, and sure enough, it is the brother from the pictures, except older, in his late twenties if she had to guess instead of a teenager. Clover smiles as she lets him in, and watches as he looks around the entranceway.

“Hello, Clover, right? We talked on the phone.” The man says, and he continues looking around. “Oh, wow. I haven’t been here since, well, I guess you probably know by now, huh?” He says, smiling wryly at Clover.

“Yeah, you would have thought the real estate agency would have mentioned it, but I had already bought the house by the time I found out, and it was cheap, and I had already imagined what I could do with the place. What can you do, you know?” Clover laughs, and then waves the man over to the neat piles she had made. “Uh, here’s the items that belong to you, I’ve tried to keep the ones that seemed important and sentimental, but there were a few that I threw away because time just got the better of them. I hope that is ok.” She says.

The man nods, and starts to rift through the papers, the pictures and memories. “I never thought I would see any of these things again, thank you so much for doing this, I um…” he trails off, staring at a picture of him and his siblings. “I really appreciate it.” He says, sounding emotional.

“Of course. It didn’t seem right to just throw them away. I don’t have anything that can carry it all, I don't think, but let me at least get a bag to make it easier to get to your car.” Clover says, leaving when she sees the man nod absently, lost in the memories he is sifting through. She grabs a trash bag from the laundry room she had been cleaning out, and brings it to the man.

When she comes back, he is crying silently, and Clover freezes. She doesn’t know what to do with a crying stranger, so she sets the trash bag down next to him as subtly as she can and backs away. It doesn’t stop the man from noticing her, though, and he just wipes his eyes. “Sorry, sorry, I just haven’t seen many pictures since it happened, I almost had forgotten what she looked like.”

Clover tenses up, because she has very clearly missed something. She wants to ask, but it is obviously a sore subject. It turns out, she doesn’t have to, as the man continues speaking anyways. “It was such a shock, when it happened, one day, she was there, and the next, she was not, and our parents deemed it too dangerous to stay here, because what if the same thing happened to my youngest sister too? I think it was partially because the memories here were too painful for them. We moved out the next day, barely had any time to get our stuff. I never thought I would see this place again.” The man says.

Clover is reeling. Did the ghost do this? Did the ghost kill someone? They hadn’t killed Clover, though, hadn’t done anything to Clover except mess with her a bit. And yet, here is this man, devastated at the death of his sister.

“I’m sorry that happened to you.” Clover says sympathetically, not knowing what else to say. What else does one say, when a stranger is in your house crying?

The man shrugs in response. “Thank you for saving all of this. It means a lot, remembering the good moments with her instead of only the sad ones. Ah, I should be the one sorry, unloading all of this onto a stranger.” He laughs wetly. “Hey, you haven’t seen a music box around, have you? It was her favorite.” He asks, and Clover tenses again, blinking at him.

“It’s um. If I had to guess, it’s either upstairs or in the spirit world.” Clover says, and the man laughs in response. She doesn’t know how to tell him it isn’t a joke. At least it seems to have distracted him from his grief.

“That’s fine, do you mind if I go look for it really quick? I would probably be able to find where it is, and it would be nice to see the rest of the house again.” The man says, and Clover doesn’t quite think that it’s the best idea to let him near the ghost that killed his sister, but she also doesn’t want to say no when its something that is obviously sentimental to him.

“I um. I don’t think that is the best idea?” She says awkwardly. “But I guess if you really wanted to…” Clover says, gesturing towards the stairs. “Just be careful, I suppose.”

The man tilts his head at her, and then starts to go up. “If I would guess, it is probably in her room, or the room attached to her room. She used to call it her secret hideout, but it was really just a glorified storage room our parents allowed her to make forts in.” The man says, and Clover can only feel dread as he goes toward the ghost room, which was apparently his dead sister’s room. She doesn’t want to interrupt his stories, though, and so he continues on into the room. The door to the storage room is open, and she can see things have been moved around.

“You really should get a heater for this room, it’s always been one of the coldest in the house.” The man says, as he turns and looks around in the dresser in the room. And then Clover sees the ghost. Outside of the room, which she didn’t even know they could do. The man hasn’t noticed them yet, and Clover tries to gesture to the ghost to stop, to go bac. The man is continuing to ramble on about stories from the past.

The ghost doesn’t listen to her. She doesn’t know why she expected them to. They are just standing there, silent, staring at the man, with wide eyes. Clover isn’t an expert in ghost facial expressions, but she can tell that something is wrong. They are looking at the man with the same expression as they looked at the music box.

The man turns around then, presumably to ask Clover something, but he catches sight of the ghost and yells, scrambling backwards, and Clover winces. She remembers when that was her. The man looks terrified, and then confused as he stares at the ghost that is staring back. And then Clover, watches, bewildered, as his expression turns hopeful.

“Icee?” He asks, and Clover feels a shock go through her at the words. The ghost slowly, slowly nods, and the man reaches out to touch her shoulder. His hand passes right through and he shivers, looking disappointed. He turns to Clover. “This is real, right?”

All Clover can do is nod, and the man looks like he is about to start crying again. She leaves the room. This doesn’t seem to be a moment she should be a part of.

Instead, Clover heads back downstairs, to the pile of pictures. She looks closer at the middle child. Now that she is looking, she doesn’t know how she didn’t pick up on it before. The ghost looks different from the person in the picture, of course, and they look younger in the picture, with skin that wasn’t frostbitten and brown hair instead of silver, but the eyes are the same shape, although the picture shows them as a vibrant purple instead of the the silvery gray Clover remembers of the ghost.

She stays down there while the man converses with his dead sister upstairs, and she doesn’t say anything when he comes back down with red rimmed eyes. She simply helps him pack the rest of the photographs and load it into his car. On the way back from it, he speaks up for the first time since going upstairs. “Uh, if it’s not too much to ask, can I come visit them, sometime?”

Clover blinks in response. “I don’t see why not. I doubt they are going anywhere.” She says, and then pauses. “Um, by the way, what is your name? I forgot to ask it earlier, you were too busy looking through the photographs.”

The man laughs a bit before responding. “You can call me Slushee. And uh, my sister is Icee. Our parents thought it was funny.” He says. Then, he becomes somber once more. “Take care of them, ok?” Clover doesn’t have to ask who he is talking about. She just nods, and waves as he gets in his car and drives off.

Clover goes up the creaky stairs and through the room into the storage area. “So. Icee, is it?”

The breaker is off. Again. And Clover smiles as she goes upstairs, the stairs that she fixed a few weeks ago. They no longer squeak, and the wood shines with the sunlight streaming in the widows, which have new curtains.

She goes into a room that no one stays in, at least no one living, but she has decorated the bed with a new bedsheet and has put pictures on the walls. The frames may be new, but the memories shown are old and well loved, from what she can tell. Her breath freezes in here, and she lets out an involuntary shiver. That was a newer development, as the ghost occupying the house had moved when this one was cleaned up. Not that it is that clean now. Clover can see shoes thrown across the room. It's a way to keep in contact with the living world, from what she can tell, and she isn’t going to make Icee stop even if it means waking in the middle of the night from hearing a thump.

Not that she could stop Icee if she tried.

The music box is in the cabinet, and Clover very pointedly does not touch it. She has learned her mistake on that one, and it is obviously very sentimental to Icee. Clover walks through the room to the storage room, which has also been cleaned up. It has a pillow fort in it, and sometimes Clover will go in there and watch a movie or read a book, just relaxing. Oftentimes she feels a ghostly presence next to her.

A ghostly face pops up before she can get to the breaker arms held up and a terrifying expression on their face as they breath out cold air, and Clover pretends that she didn’t jump as she holds a hand to her heart and laughs. “Icee. Why would you do that.” She says to the ghost, who also laughs before disappearing again.

The breaker is turned on once more, and Clover speaks again to the air around her. “Your dad called. He may come over tomorrow if that is alright with you.” She feels a cold puff of air on her wrist. Once, for yes. “Alright then. It’s settled. Are you up to watch a few episodes of atla?” There is another puff of air, and Clover smiles.

“Alright. Let me just get my laptop.” She says. The air around her turns cold, a sure sign that her friend is here. The experience is definitely not one she would have expected to have, but it is the one she got, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

#deathduo #deathduo my beloved #rat server <3 #100 days of deathduo #not beta-ed we die like Icee #reverse phasmo au is completed!#i very rarely complete my stories but this was a short one #im proud of myself haha

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harrypotterfuryroad · 2 years

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hello there

i was scrolling through your posts and i came to the realization that you have an acute distaste for trans people

if you don't mind me asking, why is that?

correct me if i'm wrong, but if the point of feminism is fighting against the patriarchy and reaching gender equality, what is discrimination against trans people supposed to do? how does it support feminism?

from my point of view, it doesn't. hell, i think stuff like j.k. rowling supporting matt walsh is actually bad for feminism. praising right-wing extremists doesn't equate to gender equality in my eyes. it feels more like the opposite.

ok this is a quibble before i get to the main points but jk rowling does not support matt walsh and the fact that you think that suggests that you’re getting your information secondhand without fact checking. it’s a small thing but it gets at a lot of the intellectual dishonesty surrounding the way the gc perspective is framed by others

like, are you saying this looks like support?

or this?

or maybe you’re talking about this one

this one is closer to support, but it’s still unequivocally critical of him. people probably just failed to notice that because it wasn’t a firehose of death threats. she’s allowed to agree with parts of his content without agreeing with his overall message (that’s called nuance - disagreeing with all his content because she disagreed with his overall message would be called reactionary (which is kinda what you’re doing here even if you didn’t intend to)). either way next time you try something like that make sure you’ve done your reading

anyway “acute distaste for trans people” is one way of putting it i guess, but i have an acute distaste for any movement systematically attempting to roll back women’s rights and gay rights. i’m not victimizing or targeting trans people, i’m just not treating them as fundamentally different from anyone else doing the same thing. i talk plenty about shitty men and shitty religious groups, i just tend to save that for my main blog because for some reason it’s ok to complain about men behaving poorly until they put a wig on. there’s even still plenty of that on this blog, just look at the post that i’m guessing sent you my way

so the next thing is whether feminism is about equality. even if it was, people are so hesitant anymore to even admit that systemic misogyny exists (obv on the right but this has been a growing problem with the left for years, guess why) that equality-focused feminist activism has trouble getting traction. liberation is the more useful way to frame it - equality still frames every advance for women in relation to men. that’s the same rhetorical trick you were trying, intentionally or not, by attempting to frame everything i’m saying as discriminatory towards trans people instead of acknowledging that i’m pointing out harmful things baked into the foundations of the ideology. and yeah feminism is about fighting the patriarchy, sure, but how does believing anything a man says accomplish that? if you believe that men can stop benefiting from male privilege by declaring themselves women then you don’t believe in male privilege, and therefore there’s no patriarchy to fight, so where does that leave you

anyway keep poking around, once you zoom out and look at the bigger picture and realize that the people you think you’re supposed to disagree with might not actually disagree with you, things will start to open up

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tijuanabiblestudies · 2 years

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I don't even if that was meant to be just a random comment or if you really wanted people to ask you about it, but if you REALLY have thoughts the epic of gilgamesh as a teen musical romcom PLEASE TELL ME BECAUSE EVER SINCE I READ YOUR TAGS IT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT

anon i am kissing you on the forehead. i was dearly hoping someone would ask

so our story begins at Uruk High, with an opening number sung by an ensemble of girls

(note: this is one of them things where teenagers are played by twentysomethings. deal with it)

and they're singing about this guy Gil. and at first it sounds like they're singing his praises--he's a star quarterback, named Handsomest by the yearbook three years running, yadda yadda yadda

but then it gets to the chorus and it turns out they hate him. because he's a serial sexual harrasser and just all-around douchebag

and it ends with them praying for help to this framed photo in the girls' locker room--ok you know that teen girl squad ep where cheerleader says something about "mindy cred" and it cuts to the cheerleaders worshiping a picture of someone called mindy? it's like that. some legendary former student. they're praying to her for help in dealing with the menace that is Gil

their prayers are answered in the form of a new student named Enkidu (unlike the other names i am leaving his alone. because of reasons) who rides in on a motorcycle, all black leather and long hair and sexy dangerousness

the girls immediately ask him to kick Gil's ass but he can't be bothered

and then Shayna, the school slut (not derogatory; a title bestowed in reverence) is like "i got this" *puts on lipstick*

so she seduces him (while singing a fun vampy song) and completely rocks his world and he's like "yeah ok i'll do whatever you want"

the next day at school, Enkidu sees Gil being creepy at yet another girl and charges at him

cue Fight. which is probably another musical number

it ends with Enkidu on top of Gil on the floor. they breathlessly stare into each other's eyes for a moment

And Then They Kiss

from that point forward, Gil and Enkidu are the new power couple. Gil stops being a douche and the two of them get up to all sorts of shenanigans

there's gotta be a ballad about how devoted they are to each other. naturally. that's our act 1 closer i think

act 2 begins with the lads embarking upon their most epic caper yet: a plot to kidnap the mascot of rival school Cedar Forest High

said mascot is a fucking bobcat

so they arrive at Cedar Forest and you know that part where they take turns getting scared and giving each other pep talks? that happens. and it's a song and it's cute

so they get the bobcat (easier said than done, blah blah use your imagination)

and then there's a roadtrip to take it to an animal sanctuary some distance away, and that's where we do some Trippy Dream Sequences

they return home and are hailed as conquering heroes

in the ensuing swell of admiration, Gil gets propositioned by a certain School Board Milf (she's been established as a character somehow before this. idk)

he turns her down, like "uhhhhh even if you WEREN'T twice my age and if i DIDN'T have a boyfriend, every dude you've ever banged has ended up royally screwed over, so...no thanks"

this does not go over well. School Board Milf, in her wrath, enlists the help of one of her boyfriends, a certain Police Sergeant Bull

some kind of dramatic confrontation happens between Sgt. Bull and the boys, and the ultimate fallout is that Enkidu is sent to jail

so in the source material, this is Enkidu's death. but this is a COMEDY, so we gotta have a happy ending

that said, Gil is making a big emotional deal out of this as if Enkidu were actually dead

there's a scene of him weeping alone in his room and singing a sad reprise of their romantic ballad from earlier

BUT THEN! a car horn sounds from outside. Gil looks out the window and what does he see but a car full of The Ensemble of Girls!

"GET IN LOSER WE'RE BREAKING YOUR BOYFRIEND OUT OF JAIL"

and then Jailbreak, and Shenanigans, and we end with the happy couple riding off into the sunrise on Enkidu's motorcycle (maybe they literally fly away like in Grease. why the hell not)

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callipraxia · 1 year

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[Well, this was supposed to be my big NWHS/ATOTS review...but I literally made it three minutes in before I got on an epic tangent and now I desperately want to write about and read up on stuff related to the tangent. I haven't desperately wanted to write something for quite some time, now, so the review proper will have to wait - as for now, enjoy ten observations on the first three minutes?]

Whew. Here we go. NWHS/ATOTS, planning to watch it straight through, let's go. It's gonna be intense, but we/I can do it. Probably.

Not What He Seems

Aaand now Stan's irradiated his forehead. No way this could ever have terrible consequences. He's better at lab safety than Ford, sure, but that's...reeeealllly not saying much. However, since Ford, Fiddleford, and Stan should probably have all had much worse side effects from constant improper handling of radioactive materials...maybe it's something about Gravity Falls' weirdness that shields them, or it's just not quite as dangerous in this world?

2. "Minor gravitational anomalies." Ford, that...feels like a bit of an understatement? Ok, so, I expect you could have written down "Stan, do not do the thing, it will make the house fly to Oz and destroy half the town. Yes, Stan, I'm specifically talking to you. Don't do it." and it would not have made any difference, but...'minor' is a relative term....

3. I am kind of impressed with Fiddleford managing to sleep, all things considered. Though who knows how long he's been awake, working on the laptop? I would give ten pretties to know what he knows at this point, though.

5. If I hadn't already done an AU stemming from NWHS, I...might be tempted, now that I think about it, to see what I could come up with in response to "what if Fiddleford had been awake when the laptop indicated the device had just become active?"

6. Ooh, is that a picture of a very young Caryn and Filbrick that the twins run under, after they pass the end table and just before Mabel stops in front of the random door she found? It looks...kinda like them, but also kinda pilgrim-y? But the woman's hairstyle is better suited perhaps for a very young Caryn, timeline-wise, and the pictures are more silhouettes than anything, and the male figure wears its hat very low.

7. Also, wow, does the Shack have a lot of doors or what? Manly Dan definitely should have picked different trees to build the Shack from...that, or the reality-breaker in the basement has started affecting geometry slowly upstairs over the decades. Which is also not a bad idea, I guess.

8. "I am the god of destruction!" More like a significant priestess at best, honestly, Mabel - no shade on you, of course, but when you've got the likes of Stanford "let's punch a hole in reality!" Pines, Stanley "danger, blah-blah-blah, can it, Poindexter!" Pines, Fiddleford "homicidal pterodactyl-bot I made when my wife left me" McGucket, and Bill running around in your setting...the competition is pretty intense, y'know?

9. Though I do wonder now if Mabel ever thought about that line again...if she remembered saying that, say, during the period where it looked more and more like the world might end...or that they might all get arrested...or after she heard that keeping the Portal open did not fix her family...maybe even when she handed "Blendin" the Rift, seeking a perfect endless summer....

10. "Plenty of summer left." "Enjoy it while you can, Stan." Stan really did think the kids might well never forgive him for lying to them all this time, and that's even if he got the real Stanford back alive. If he hadn't...if he hadn't, then he was confronted with the possibility of both the kids cutting him off and not even having the satisfaction of success to cling to. Or anything to cling to, unless you count loads of new guilt, now that he has seeming confirmation that he's responsible for Ford's death. I...do not see that ending well, really.

And yet, he took that chance. He could have decided "it's been so long that the odds of success are very low, and these kids are definitely alive and not too irradiated yet. I could just let this go. Settle for what I've got instead of endangering it for a one-in-a-million shot at getting back what I've lost." But he didn't, even though he was aware of how thoroughly failure really was an option. He was gambling everything at once, with no reserves to get him out of town if the dice landed the wrong way - willing, essentially, to burn the world (certainly his own world, but possibly, y'know...the world) for one person, for no better reason than his own feelings about that person and/or what had happened to that person. And I suspect this is at the root of what I find so interesting about him as a character. There's a reason, after all, why characters like this feature in so much of what's considered Literature, folks. [And here there were tangents; while I'm sure I will one day figure out what the character limit for tumblr posts is, I don't have enough hours in today to do it with]

#gravity falls #gravity falls will take over your life #gravity falls season 2 #not what he seems #rewatch #got off on a tangent

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neatfrog · 1 year

Text

~Notes~

~occasional 18+ content 🔞🔞

~queer faggot 🌈

~current things I can’t shut the fuck up about: hazbin hotel/helluva boss, fallout, venom (coming soon)

~my art tag here !

~currently taking commissions ✨

~About~

~you can call me kitchie (pronounced like ‘kicsi’ in Hungarian - it’s a joke bc kicsi means small and I’m 4’11”)

~you might have once known me as venomtots

~3 decades alive on this wretched planet

~married to someone I met on tumblr (follow ur dreams, kids)

~I enjoy cats and languages

~I draw (if the brain worms let me), and am capable of writing but haven’t actually done so in years. my white whale is the venom fanfic from 2018 that I still haven’t finished

~I’m autistic and have adhd so if I do something weird pls just blame it on that

~I’m not kidding when I say I’m obsessed with languages, it’s my special interest since I was like 7

~fluent - English and French

~advanced - Hungarian

~also OK - Norwegian, Spanish (Mexico), German, Japanese, Chinese (Mandarin)

~can’t speak/write but can read sorta well enough: Brazilian Portuguese, Dutch, Danish, Swedish, Finnish (the only words I know are probably all from Antti Tuisku songs)

The rest is just my likes and shit, no obligation to read

~Likes~

video games

favs: Fallout, Baldur’s Gate 3, The Outer Worlds, Rule of Rose, Clocktower, ReMothered, Visage, The Evil Within, Resident Evil, the Dark Pictures series - most survival horror/horror in general.

I’ll admit that I often don’t have the patience for the horror games where you have to be all sneaky and try to find things & escape while constantly being chased, but I still really love those kinds of games and wish I had the patience to play them, so I’ll usually just watch a let’s play

I’m also a slut for some Mario Party, and my adhd ass can sit and play shit like Powerwash Simulator or House Flipper for hours

books/comics

horror/thriller/mystery mostly, but if it sounds interesting I’ll read whatever. we have several shelves of Stephen King books

favs: The Walking Dead, Venom, GoT, A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Hollow Kingdom Trilogy, The Hunger Games

I still read manga occasionally (FMA will always be my #1 favorite)

movies

horror (any kind), foreign films, indie, comedy - again, if it sounds interesting and I’m in the mood then anything is cool. if you like horror and haven’t watched any Asian horror films, you definitely should do that

series/franchises that could be releasing their 20-quillionth remake/sequel and I would still be going to see it: saw, the purge, friday the 13th, scream, nightmare on elm st, VHS, Killjoy, Terrifier

ok I’d probably watch any Hunger Games movie too tbh

and literally anything ari aster does, I know that man’s some kinda fucked up but damn does he make some Movies

also Tubi has some really awesome shit on there, definitely worth checking out

I found Liza a rókatündér (Liza the Fox Fairy) on there and it’s now one of my all-time favorite movies

tv shows

favs: Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, Fallout, The Walking Dead, The Boys/Gen V, IWTV, Resident Alien, Hannibal, Ted Lasso, Disenchantment, Paradise PD/Farzar, WWDITS, GoT (minus s8), Supernatural (stopped around s14 and then they did That Thing at the end so it’s more of an old fav now)

I love Scandinavian crime thrillers/dramas 🤣

when starting a series it’s honestly whatever my spouse and I decide we feel like watching at the time. I usually prefer comedy or horror, but we’ve been known to watch other things

I’ll admit I’m also a sucker for crime shows like CSI, I had season 3 on dvd as a kid and rewatched it all the time. I used to watch it and Criminal Minds with my parents so it’s kind of nostalgic cause it’s like one of the few things we all did together

(I used to be into anime but I haven’t really been feeling it for a while. My first anime was InuYasha (still holds a special place in my heart). My all-time favorite is Fullmetal Alchemist, and I enjoyed Death Note and JJBA a feral normal amount. Black Butler was also 👌🏻 and I still need to finish the manga)

music

90% of the music I listen to isn’t in English. I don’t really need to understand the lyrics, I just like how it sounds. It does end up being funny sometimes though when you find out you’ve been bopping it to a song that’s repeatedly calling someone’s mom a whore

Most Listened: Antti Tuisku, Apulanta, Evelina, Szakács Gergő, ByeAlex, Intim Torna Illegál, Leander Kills, Dubioza, KYO, Stromae, Siri Nilsen - etc (Linkin Park is still an all-time favorite as far as American music goes)

I admit I’ve been obsessed with the hazbin hotel soundtrack lately

ok I won’t say no to the occasional k-pop or j-rock song (I used to be Obsessed lol)

that said I’ll listen to literally anything if it sounds good (nice beats make brain go brrr). only genre I actively dislike is post-9/11 country music

~Dislikes~

spiders (i’m sorry lil dudes ur rly cool y’all just irrationally scare me), making phone calls, unwarranted rudeness

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simon-x-billy · 1 year

Text

Simon x Billy

Year of the OTP: June

Chapter 6: Where’s the helipad?

June prompt: Soulmates

AN: Enjoy the sweet sweet sounds of helicopter blades slicing through the air. I love the helicopter scene so much. It is happy-making. It just makes me love both of them for each other. (Let's ignore the fact that I wrote it.)

We are so close to the sex, guys. So close. This is the last SFW chapter for a while. Bask in the virginal dude-bro vibe, and let people know that you read the chapters before they were cool.

TW: Rewrites. Mystifyingly late posts. Drunkenness. If alcohol is triggering for you, no need to read the last teeny section after we first meet Barry. Rest assured that Simon gets home safely and says cute stuff, then happily goes to bed.

Masterlist || ao3 || Prev || Next

————/Simon/————

I am trying to stop thinking about falling to my death. Give me a minute.

Ok, so this is…………This is a long flight of fucking rickety, wind-blasted wood. Not like that metal set of stairs with all the switchbacks I was complaining about last time I encountered stairs. I take all of my complaints back about that place. That was the height of stair-building technology by comparison. This place is just…..language fails me, like I’m picturing the stairs failing me any second now.

Shush, I need to concentrate.

————/-/————

Oh my fucking god. I can’t breathe. Metaphorically kissing the ground due to sheer survival has become a feature of my stay here. Just cuz I survived. So much ground kissing happening in Italy. Especially near stairs.

So from the size and schmanciness I’m guessing this place was either for a huge schmancy family, or hardcore party animals needing lots of bedrooms (the olden days version). This coastline has been a summer getaway spot for centuries. Scratch that. For millennia. What, like maybe three thousand, four thousand years?

But actual beaches are rare here. Anybody with two inches of it will stick a beach umbrella in it. So imagine owning an entire beach. Right? Beside the hotel, the only other possible access is from the water. And there are a lot -- I mean a lot of yachts around here. They will never, ever look normal to me. But they’re starting to look like a normal thing around here. And I’m told these aren’t even the big ones. Fuck me sideways.

Both shots are from the website of the actual Hotel La Tonnarella, which is the hotel I based my fictional hotel on. Yes, it really looks like that. Yes, I did stay there. Totally worth going into debt. Best decision I’ve ever made. You can faintly see the stairs, at left. It’s that pale diagonal line down the cliff from the hotel at top left down toward the beach, crossing right in front of that ruin in the middle, halfway down the cliff.

Anyway, we’ve seen the (only) road and there’s definitely no place for me to do my morning run. It doesn’t even have a shoulder. I guess if I can’t run without going airborne off a cliff, I could do the steps when I wake up. Better than nothing. It’s just-

Well, we’ve seen that I hate stairs. Steep stairs. Cliff stairs.

Fuck. Besides being terrifying, it was tiring just getting down here. What am I going to do when I have to go back up?

Anyway, Billy’s working down here today. And I really feel like disrupting his job well done.

“Will yeh take a look at yer man now. Down the beach, explorin,” he calls, as I approach the hotel’s tiny beach bar. “You didn’t take the stairs, did yeh?”

“Um, yeah? Certo. I wanted to see the beach.” Obviously.

“Why didn’t yeh take the lift?” he asks me.

I fix the man to his spot with a very frowny, very deep, “Would you mind repeating that, Billy?” Exactly like if Kronk was playing me in the movie. I can barely see through my eyes that have now narrowed to slits of disbelief and distrust and discomfort. “There’s an elevator?”

“Well, yeah man. How else are people meant to get down here? The cliff’s a dangerous way down, innit?”

It’s ok, Lewis. You can incorporate this new information without flipping out. Just be proud of yourself for facing your fears. You descended steep, unsafe stairs. Good job! And you were only vaguely terrified the whole time. Good job!

“Is the cliff so dangerous that they should close it down due to the mounting death toll? Or is it only dangerous in an inoffensive, cute way?”

He huffs out a quick laugh, then returns to slicing up lemons.

“Billy? That was an actual question. Care to provide an answer?”

“Meh, it’s safe enough,” he says. And that, ladies and gentleladies, is all I need to convince me I can indeed use this as my new Italian Morning Exercise. 1. Cliff, 2. Coffee, 3. Cliff, 4. Vomiting coffee. Perfect.

————/-/————

I’ve spent all this week forging a grudging relationship with the beach stairs.

I’m getting a little more accustomed to it. I have a few specific stones and broken twigs I’ve chosen as landmarks, whenever I require reassurance that I am indeed climbing down the right cliff. And if I’ve survived it the last four mornings, I can survive it a fifth time. Flawless reasoning.

Behind the beach bar, Billy spots me and gives me a wave. “You packed, man?”

My insides instantly start fizzing. I am so fucking stoked. I got us an airbnb in Naples for the weekend so we can check out Sabina’s gig tomorrow night. Billy could not say yes fast enough. He’s a social guy, and there’s not a lot of nightlife around here. I have no idea how he’s managed it all this time. Oh wait, that’s right. He’s managed it with women. Lots of women.

Over the last week, I’ve come to the realization that management does not mind a guest hanging out at the bar distracting their employee all day, because while that guest is distracting the employee, he is also ordering drink after frothy fruit-based drink, and healthy fruit-based foods. It’s like they’ve realized that my distraction of Billy might actually be lucrative for them. I even have my own barstool. Officially.

I have an announcement to make. “I have come to a decision,” I announce. “We need a convertible.”

“Sorry?”

“A convertible. We need one,” I repeat.

“Yeah, mate, heard yeh.”

“What, it’s a convertible!”

Billy remains unmoved. “Why can’t we take the train? It’s simplest-”

“We are not taking the train.”

“But I quite like the train,” he claims.

“Because you’re insane and don’t like convertibles.” J’accuse!

“See now, I never said I don’t like convertibles. I-“ he begins.

But I totally interrupt him. “I need to go do something.” Because my brain just exploded with potential.

“What?” He might be alarmed.

Whereas I’m enthusiastic. “Be an Ugly American.”

“Er, that sounds terrible,” he says.

“If you’re gonna be American, you might as well own it. Watch me own it, Billy, watch me.”

Oddly, Billy still looks wary. “That sounds-”

“Awesome.”

“-terrible. You’re not plannin to wear one of them caps with straws into beer cans, are yeh?” He snorts at whatever he’s picturing. “Actually, I might pay yeh to do that.”

“Nah. Not my brand,” I say, sliding off the barstool. I snag an olive and pop it in my mouth, to avoid grinning like someone who grins because they’re about to do something awesome. “Ciao, Beelee.” I wave behind me.

I’ve got the phone out and I’m already dialing before I’ve even reached the stairs. And then I remember I can also take the elevator.

———/-/———

Billy has finally met up with me at the fountain by the hotel entrance. Thank god, cuz I really don’t want him to miss the arrival of that Ugly American thing that required a phone call. Ever notice there’s an ugh in ugly? Just occurred to me.

“There you are, Delaney. MWAH hah ha ha hahhhhh! Prepare to hear the sweet sweet sound of helicopter blades pulsing through the air. It’s done, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.”

“Simon-”

“So where’s the helipad?” I inquire.

“The what now? Mate, it’s not that kind of hotel. Why are we taking a helicopter to Naples?”

“The correct response would normally be ‘because we can’-” Obviously. Certo.

“That is not a normal response.” Billy looks mystified, yet still amused. So that’s a thing.

“-but not this time,” I finish. “That’s not the real idea.”

“Oh, so you’re tellin me this is a superfluous helicopter. That is ugly.”

“No! It is most definitely not superfluous.”

“Your carbon footprint’ll be spendin all eternity in hell, man.”

“Billy.”

“Simon.”

“Stop talking. And just enjoy the mounting anticipation. The mellow sense of horror, or at the very least a nasty case of creeping dread. MWAH hah ha ha hahhhh!”

“Stop it, mate. You’re gettin evil genius all over my uniform. And you know how I feel about laundry.”

“Just a little bicarbonate of soda. Gets out even the most organic of stains. MWAH hah ha ha hahhhhh.”

“Simon.”

“Billy.”

“Stop talkin. Like an evil genius. We’re gettin complaints.”

“Are not.”

“From me. I’m complainin.”

“What am I going to wear?” I ask. It’s a fair question.

“Simon. Oh my god.”

“I’m serious! I packed for Italy in ten minutes. It’s all socks and shorts.” And sunblock. And chargers.

He’s shaking his head at me. For some reason, this makes me happy. In my tummy. How novel.

“Is that the fire alarm?” he asks.

“Huh? I mean, MWAH hah ha ha haaaah, oh no. What you’re hearing is the sweet sweet purring of a helicopter bearing my booty.”

“You didn’t think that one through, mate.”

“Oh, but yes, yes I did. This booty is worth baring. Can you feel it? The heady excitement of anticipation? The mellow terror?”

“Yes. I feel the terror,” he says blandly. He finds my terror bland.

Wait. “That would be the best cologne flavor ever. Mellow Terror, by Simon Lewis. Pour homme.”

“Are you manic right now?”

———/Billy/————

I was joking, but Simon just went very still. I’ve put my foot in, haven’t I?

“I am a bit manic, am’nt I?” he offers, tossing off a fake laugh.

“Somethin wrong with your shoes, mate? Simon, man, my eyes are up here.”

“Just wait til you see what I’ve done,” he says sheepishly, eyeing me from under his furry eye caterpillars.

“Simon. Should I be worried?”

“Oops?”

Oops? I haven’t a clue what to do with oops.

He grabs me excitedly by the forearm and starts dragging me toward the hotel gates.

That’s…Wait, is that-

“Simon. Did you buy a Mini Cooper?”

“A convertible Mini Cooper.”

“But why?” I ask the reasonable question.

“Because I can!” He’s practically vibrating. I can tell he wants to do his jumping-clapping thing by the way he’s currently bouncing on his toes.

“Simon.”

“Billy.”

“You bought a Mini Cooper. Convertible,” I swiftly add. “You’re in the land that built the Maserati, the Lamborghini, the Ferrari, and every other sports car that ends in i-”

“Not Audi.”

I huff in annoyance, “-and you bought a convertible Mini Cooper. And had it airlifted here. Because you could.”

“I’ve always wanted a convertible Mini Cooper.”

“But not a convertible Ferrari,” I clarify.

“No.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m awesome,” he answers, because he’s Simon.

I decide not to mention that we could have skipped the car altogether and taken the helicopter to Naples.

This is so childish, and impetuous, and reckless, and I refuse to find the actions of a grown man adorable. Jaysus.

“Oh my god!” he squeaks. “They were driving Minis in The Italian Job!!!”

Shaking my head. Just shaking my head. “Did you have them airlift in some clothes, too?”

“Shit! I totally should have!” He appears to actually mean that.

“You should see your face,” he hoots. Feckin hoots, all half bent over from laughin.

And now he’s ignoring me. Suddenly I’m not even here. He only has eyes for his Mini. “Oh my god it’s so kawaii.”

His smile is kawaii.

“Go away,” he flaps a hand at me. “I want to fanboy freely and without judgment from a judgy Irishman.”

“Fine. I need to pack anyway.”

And off behind me I hear him call, “Wait! What am I gonna wear?”

Shaking my head. Just shaking my head.

————/-/————

I’ve gathered my gear, and I can see Simon out by the car park. I’m hitching up my pack, so it isn’t really until I’ve cleared all the foliage that I realize Simon is humping his Mini Cooper convertible. “All right?” I ask, tryin to keep a straight face.

“Oh, yes. All is definitely right,” he purrs.

“Have you turned her on, too?”

He slides off the car til his Converse hit the pavement with a slap.

Now he’s draping himself over the boot. I can’t help it that I’m laughing. Sometimes he hits me just right to set me to belly laughin. Doesn’t happen often with Simon, but when it does, he wears the greatest surprised happy face I’ve ever seen. This time there’s giggling. Off to a good start, which is good. Yes. Good.

I hesitate. “Look, mate. Will this thing actually fit us?” I eyeball the car. “I am quite seriously concerned that we might actually need the top down to ride in this thing. How tall are you, anyway?”

“Six feet. Why? How tall are you?”

“Mate, get off the boot so I can shove this in there and we can go.” He does, and I do.

I have to say it, “Thanks for not getting the red, white, and blue one.” There is a god. Thank you, Poseidon.

“They were out of orange, white, and green, too,” he says with regret.

“You asked about the tricolor, did yeh?” Alright yes, he’s got me laughin again. Simon Lewis. Driving the Irish flag.

“Fuck out of the driver’s seat!” he’s suddenly roaring.

Blimey. He looks proper angry. I may have just flinched. “Don’t you want a car and a driver? No, serious, don’t yeh want me to drive, since I know the way?”

“Get the fuck out of the driver’s seat, Billy. Now!”

“Alright! Fine, fine. You’ll be usin GPS then, will yeh?”

“Si si si, certo.”

I groan. “This is all about to go so very-”

“Awesome,” he declares. “This is all about to continue to be awesome. Be the change, Billy. Be the change!”

“Oh my god Simon.”

“I can hear you rolling your eyes from here,” he says from behind the boot, which he slams shut a little too hard. I feel it in every moving piece of this tiny automobile. Bigger than a SMART car, so I suppose I shouldn’t be complainin.

Well, here’s hoping he’s still so enthused about it at the other end. “Gotta say, mate. I’m surprised you’d want to drive at all.”

“Why not?” he’s askin.

“Because mate, it’s Italy, innit. Famous for frightenin foreign drivers.” He has to remember what the drivin was like on our three other trips down this road. “Well,” I sigh. “At least you get to drive on the ‘right’ side of the road in Italy.”

—--/-/—--

“See? I told you you’d fit.”

“Alright man, you did,” I admit to the muppet.

“Come on, give it up…”

“What?” I’m not laughing, I promise. “Is she a smooth ride? I don’t know, man, why don’t yeh start her up ‘n find out?”

“Well there is that. So yeah,” he says as he pulls out of the car park and up to the mouth of the hotel driveway. “It’s to the left, right?”

“Em, yeah. Yes, the city of Naples is still in the general direction of left. Like the other three times we’ve done this road together.”

He rolls his eyes, and all is right and well with the world. Until the moment he pulls out onto the road. Then I’m brought up quick by the realization that between us we know fuck all about the convertible Mini Cooper. “Wait, where’s the GPS on her, for the flat’s address?”

“I dunno, check the screen thing.” So helpful, yer man Simon is.

“Do you even have an Italian driver’s license? Or insurance? I love this guy. How’ve yeh managed to live this long?” I pause for an answer, but none is forthcoming. “I mean, fucksake, Simon. You called someone to buy you a car and suddenly you’re on the road to Naples. Do you even know where the directionals are? Or like, the wipers? Should I be concerned for my safety?”

“Shoosh. Don’t jinx us,” he sternly admonishes me. “Do you need to have registration in Italy? Or insurance? I don’t know. Italy doesn’t really strike me as a big insurance-y type of country.”

“Fair point. But I take it you have….whatever, I dunno, papers and all that?” How is he like this?

“Don’t know. What’s in the glove box?” He makes a flappy gesture in the general direction of my knees.

“How are you like this? Were you actually born like this, or did it come with fame and wealth?”

“You mean, was I actually born a flaming asshole, or just become one?”

“Meh. Yeah ok,” I shrug. “We’ll go with that. So, what’ll it be?”

“Ow. Straight for the throat, Delaney.” His tone is recriminating as he protects his throat with both hands. “Uncool, man. Uncool.”

I’m flipping through the owner’s manual. Before long I’ve programmed everything, located the GPS, found Simon’s Only In Italy playlist, and even found the button to pop the bonnet. “There you go. It’s workin now.” I toss the manual in the glove box.

“What’s working?” he asks.

I shrug. “Everything, man. Everything.”

He barks out a laugh, the grumpy fuck, and I realize I’m laughing as well.

I plug in the address for the flat and immediately the voice pumping out the speakers is a woman speaking Italian. So I’m maniacally fumbling with it again, while Simon drives on in a fit of laughter.

“Aw, come on! Let’s see how we do in Italian,” he gasps out.

“Fucksake. See how we do in Italian.” Shaking my head.

“No, seriously. Let’s hear what she has to say, this ummmmm, what should we call her - Maria! Because obviously.”

“Certo.” That gets me another laugh.

“Santa Maria, Holy Madonna, show us the way, in Italiano,” Simon pleads in a truly horrendous Italian accent. “I am so happy right now.”

He says it with a laugh. Such a thing to so easily roll off the tongue. Fella I met a few months ago, I never would have pictured bein happy, let alone noticing it, naming it, declaring it. Nice to see. Unexpected, know what I mean?

“I don’t trust you when you’re quiet that long, Delaney.”

“Hm?”

“Exactly.”

Am I missing something?

“Ok, so.” He clears his throat. “We know who I am. Who are you? Let’s hear it. Who is Billy Delaney?”

Aw, man. Serious? “How long we got?” Please don’t make me.

“How would I know?” he shrugs. “Maria’s speaking your language, not mine.”

“Fair enough.” I hit play, hoping the music will make the conversation trail off from there. But of course it doesn’t, because this is Simon. Si. Certo.

“What. Do you have some horrible second identity thing going on? Are you really even Irish? Truth time, Delaney.”

“You show me yours, I’ll show you mine?”

“Yeah, ok,” says the cheeky monkey.

“Oh,” I answer, not sure how else to dodge Simon’s inquisition. Uh, erm….. “Soooo, what mate? What do you want to know?” I ask, though truthfully I wish he’d just let it go.

“Is your name really Billy Delaney, and are you actually even from Ireland at all?”

“Yes.”

“Boring.”

“Brief,” I counter.

“Obtuse,” he counters.

“Si.”

“Oh my god, Billy. So where are you from?”

“Ireland.”

He looks around us rapidly. “Is she going to start speaking Italian? Cuz we just passed Ercolano.”

“Already?”

“Yeah! I know, right? Time flies when you’re torturing someone for information. So should I panic?”

“Nah,” I reassure him. “We've a bit more road before we turn aside. Maria can sleep on.”

“Alright. But I swear to God, Billy. If you don’t start coughing up some details, I'm serious, I will pull this car over. Do I have to pull this car over, young man?”

“Wow, that’s forceful.” Cos it is. “Ow!” I flinch when he swats my shoulder with a backhand. “Fine, ye bastard. My name is actually Lola, but I go by Billy Delaney. And I’m only mostly joking. One of the summer cousins I used to play soccer with couldn’t say William when we were little. So for a few months every year, I was Lola. There. Was that not juicy enough for yeh?”

“Charming. But from that I got these few details: 1. You have cousins. Conceivably fertile ground. We could continue that way. 2. You play soccer, and you call it soccer. Isn’t that illegal outside the US? No- don’t answer that. I’m not finished. 3. You go someplace where there are cousins to play soccer with in summer. Are we even still in Ireland?”

Em. I just sort of sit here and wait.

“And you really don’t want to talk about this, do you?”

“You are so easily distracted,” I tease. “No, but seriously, here’s some details for yeh. I’m 27. Left Ireland at 18, after graduating culinary school, and was sent out to do my apprenticeship. That was at a manor house near Galway,” I say, wrapping up the conversation.

“And…..”

“That’s not enough?” I thought that was a fair bit of information, to be honest.

“Do I have to turn this car around, young man?”

“I fear I might be missin some essential cultural reference here, mate.”

“Don’t distract me with your distractions, Delaney. Feed me.”

And that’s when Maria tells us to turn left.

—--/Simon/—--

I can’t fuckin believe that there are Irish pubs in Italy. Nor can I believe I’m in one. I mean, where do real Italians go to watch soccer? This can’t be right.

“All right?” Billy asks the bartender.

“Howeyeh,” says the man back to him, and Billy’s eyes go comically wide.

Next thing I know, I’m bored stiff, pretending to find the intricacies of European football interesting with a Welsh guy named Barry.

And whoa, turns out Billy’s day-to-day accent is pretty washed out in comparison to the thickness of his accent when he’s speaking to his new BFF. They’re speaking so fast that I can’t understand a word through their accents and grammatical errors. Welsh is so much easier.

That is, until I hear a voice disturbingly similar to Billy’s, requesting a Bud.

I swing back around in time to see Billy’s new BFF nod at him and begin turning toward the draft beers.

“No! Wait,” I wave. “He’s only joking,” I say, emphatically shaking my head no.

“Oh,” the Irish bartender looks back to Billy in surprise. “Were you?”

What, he thinks I’m lying? “Course he was! Certo.”

“Why ‘of course’?!” Billy turns on his barstool to face me. “What the fuck, Simon?”

“Sorry if I fucked up your joke, dude, but don’t drag it out, ok?” I say under my breath.

Disparaging other people’s beer of choice is like a national pastime in Brooklyn, because it frequently employs irony, and we are naturally good at it from birth. Don’t blame him, he’s new.

“I’ll take that Bud,” Billy reiterates. “Ta, mate.” The barkeep returns his nod and goes about the business of it.

“Billy? We’ve talked about this. You swore you’re Irish. Were you lying to me? Are you a lying liar who lies?”

“Why do yeh say that?”

“Because you can’t – you’re not – you’re not, like, allowed to drink bad beer when you’re Irish. Isn’t that illegal? Or fatal, or something?”

The big ape is just lazing back against the bar, sipping his pint of piss beer, looking at me in amusement.

“You’re like a caricature of yourself sometimes, Simon, d’yeh know what I mean?”

“Fuckin- What?! That’s not very nice! I’m outraged.”

“You should see yerself, mate. Yeh look like your face is about ready to split down the middle and outrage’ll start pourin out like lava from the fissures.”

I stop and cock my head at him. “That was both specific and descriptive. Nice one. But that said, how dare you! I demand an apology.” I’m trying really hard to keep a straight face. He has no intention of making it easy for me.

“Apologize? For what?” He gives me a cock-eyed grin. Oh look, his cock eyes are doing that twinkly thing again.

“You have offended my good taste and have let down your countrymen and native soil. Or water or whatever it is that makes all beer taste better in Ireland. The least you could do is the decent thing and apologize to your countrymen, and me, and then hide it in your jacket where no one can see you sneaking sips!”

He laughs because he thinks I’m joking.

“Do you just not like beer at all? And that’s why you don’t order the good stuff?” I prod.

“Simon, you are such a snob,” he says, and goes right on twinkling.

“Correct. And if you’re going to drink cheap beer, for god’s sake, order PBR and salvage at least some of your self respect.”

“Do you know this man?” the bartender asks Billy. “Is he harassin yeh?”

Billy is now laughing so hard that he’s almost fallen off his stool.

“We know each other,” I reassure the barkeep. “Don’t know how long that’ll last, all considered, though. Check back for updates.” I raise my pint of Guinness in respect.

“It’s czech. Budvar,” the man informs me.

“Ah, no! Why’d yeh tell him, mate!” Billy raises his hands theatrically. I’m telling you, theatre school. “Yeh just had to put him out of my misery, yeah?”

“And my misery,” says the man.

—--/-/—--

Ok, so what is it with the whole pub drunkenly singing “oh-ay-oh-ay” at the top of their drunken lungs, sloshin beer out of their pint glasses, whenever Europeans play soccer. Mebbe they sing it in Southmerica, too. Butwhatevercuz I don’ really care.

If you can’t – beat em then join em. Thassmymott, um, -o. Thassmy motto. Motto.

Where’s Billy? I can’t see him. If thissperson would get out of the frickin way. He’s all backed up against my face’n I can’t see. Anything. Nothin to see here, folks. Move along, people, move along.

Where’s Billy? Oyeah, right right right. Right here in my face.

I figure it’ll be easier to keep track of him if I hold onto his belt loop. Or a pocket or something. Yeah, I’m just gonna hang on to his pocket.

Pocket.

I like the word pocket. Lossa hard consnits that pop. Pop.

Pop.

I like the word pop. It sounz like it pops. And it’s the same backwards and forwards an’itsall about the lips. Pop ’ing.

What? Where’s he going? I’m trailing after him with my hand in his pocket. He keeps pullin it out and I keep puttin it back in. Oth’wise I’m gonna get lost and then where would I be? Huh? I wouldn’t even know!

“Oh! Now I know where we are! We’re on the block where we’re were where gonna sleep.” If make it up th’stairs. But Billy’s helping. He’s nice like that.

“You’re nice like that,” I say with a big smile. “And you‘re funny lookin.”

Wait.

“Oops! I mean yerlookin funny at me right now. Whass funny? ‘m’I funny? ‘r’Juss funny lookin?”

I crack myself up. Like in real life, cuz I’m laughing. Right now. Sometimes iss hard to stop laughing but I’ll be ok.

“Billy. Billy! Hey, Billy. What’re you doing? Tryin to get in my pants? That tickles! Oh, hey! Did we win? I mean, I don’really care - just wonren.”

Hey! Tickles! “Stop that! How’dyou know I don’t wanna wear those? I’ll take ‘em off when I feel like it. Prollymaybe take ‘em off tomorrow. Hey! I was wearing that! And that!”

He’s very pushy. “You’re very pushy. Stop pushing!”

I land on the bed and it’s like fluffy clouds of teddybears. “K, fine. I’ll go to bed, jeez.” Alls I wanna do is bury my face in pillow, but can’t breathe when I do that.

“Don’t close the door all the way, Ma. And leave the hall light on, K? g’Night, love you too.”

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