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thekeeperof-thefandoms · 2 months

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My girlfriend requested this

Hazbin men trying the period simulator. Somewhat of a follow up to my period post so this is based on the reader having severe period pain due to PCOS/ENDO

Lucifer

The man is sweating before you even attach the simulator. He knows he fucked up. He only agreed to this because he loves you a lot.

He handles the first 3 levels ok. You tell him very few women experience that little pain and that usually 4-6 is the average.

Those levels make him tense. He's uncomfortable, but still pretty able to work and do normal things. 5 has him pausing to do deep breaths every now and then. (If this is the canon timeline where he birthed Charlie he compares it to bad kicks).

6-8 he's pretty much doubled over. If you tell him that's the level you experience, he will cry. Literally begs forgiveness since again, period and labor pain is technically his fault. He is so sorry. If he didn't have issues with his Dad before he does now because this is fucked up. God's fucked up for doing this.

He doesn't make it to 10, he's crying by level 9. This is labor levels of pain. He gets why all you do is sleep. Treats your period like a sacred ritual after that. Preps for weeks. He goes full Bible, sheltering you for the duration of it so you can have peace and quiet. Please never hook him up to this again.

If you wear it at anything from an 8-10 and tell him "It's close, but I've hurt worse" he's gonna sob and then try and fight his Old Man again. He'll settle for offering to have your bits removed for you.

Vox

Once again this man hates admitting he was wrong. And yeah he knows your periods are really bad, especially now he's witnessed it. But it's still a huge knowledge gap for him and he doesn’t really take the time to think about it.

He handles 1-5 well. He's mildly uncomfortable by 5, but thinks that if this is the average experience, then it's not such a big deal. Tell him the statistics on how many people with periods actually experience 6-8 because that's actually the majority, and he's just confused. How is the average pain level not the most common?

6-8 has him gritting his teeth and glitching, but he refuses to stop and keeps trying to work. Is starting to wonder how you went so long working with this level of pain without him noticing.

He makes it to 10, but by then, he's unable to move, clutching his abdomen and sparking and glitching. Tells you it feels like his entire insides are being squeezed. The fact that he can feel it in his groin. He's kind of afraid of period sex with you after that because of how much he felt it. And you said it's caused cramps from your ribs to your knees. He's like... genuinely scared of your period and pain tolerance.

He's going to snuggle the fuck out of you afterwards and apologize for not appreciating how much you still do for him when you're not feeling good. How he didn't see how hurt you were. He does a lot of research after that and not only does he spoil you by buying whatever you need for your periods and giving you time off, he looks into treatment options. Even if that means chopping the useless fucking things out. Sinners can't have kids anyway so who needs ovaries and a uterus?

He's more convinced you should just be rid of the damn things when you wear it and 8-10 is "Yeah, this is close, but it doesn't really cover how much of my body hurts".

Valentino

Is only doing this because he was dared to by Velvette. Or if this an au where he's trying to be a less toxic person. But really I think it's also to prove that you're all being dramatic. It's a perfectly normal body function and his employees are just trying to get out of work.

He gets all the way to 6 before he starts to realize he may have fucked up. Especially when it's explained that this is what most people experience.

By 10 he's gritting his teeth, chain smoking, clawing at things. He refuses to give in, but he can count on one hand the number of things in his entire life and death as a pimp and a whore that he's experienced that come close to this level of pain.

No one told him his dick was gonna hurt. Sitting hurts. Breathing hurts. He doesn't even try to eat. He won't ever admit to being wrong, but he does behave more leniently with his actors when they're on their periods.

If you put it on (and lets say he actually cares about you) and setting 8-10 is "Yeah, this an average day for my cramps. My bad days are like..5 or 6 levels worse" it's gonna rearrange his brain a little. He might be a little afraid of you and some of the other actors with periods because your pain tolerances are so high. It threatens his ability to control you and them. But on the other hand, that's kinda hot???

Alastor

Has never once doubted that people who experience periods undergo serious struggle and has nothing but respect for women (and trans people he just associates it with women more because of the time period and his mama) who work through it.

He is actually the one who heard about the simulator through Rosie and asks you to show him your experience. Just to better understand you. He knows you're the type to try and function through the pain (probably because society ingrained into you that your pain doesn't matter).

Initially, he wants to skip the lower levels and just have you set it to your pain level. You tell him that's a bad idea, and to be honest, you're not sure if this thing goes that high. He asks you to check and you set it to the highest setting and say, "It's pretty close. It's been worse, but this is a rough idea," he's a little frustrated but still tries it.

You agree to set it to 4 and tell him 4-6 is what most people report feeling. He acknowledges it, registers it as unpleasant, but otherwise is fully capable.

7-9 has his ears flat, his smile is more a snarl. This is uncomfortable. Not what he considers painful but certainly irritating. It makes sitting, stretching, and eating feel much more difficult.

10. There's static visble around him. His teeth grind. Actually painful. Not the worst pain he's experienced, but he hates it. He hates the way he feels it in his back and hips as he walks. He hates the way taking deep breaths (which for someone as dramatic as he is and with the transatlantic accent, breathing technique and posture is important) stings. He hates the way it causes his stomach to cramp and churn. He hates the ache in his thighs and groin that make sitting feel stiff and ackward. He can only picture how blood loss would make this worse. Tired, losing nutrients, the headaches, the increased moodiness. It's no wonder you sleep, so much, but he wonders how the Hell you sleep like this? He's snappy and short tempered because of the pain (and again he gets why you would be if you weren't sleeping so much).

How does this affect how he treats you?

Not much. He still expects you to know your body and your limits. He would never dare to presume otherwise. He still helps prepare whatever you need for your time of the month and still meal plans for you, though he perhaps finds ways to ensure you get all the iron and vitamins you need without cooking steak and other big, heavy meals, since he now understands how bad your stomach hurts.

The only really noticeable change is how much more protective of you he is. Your time of the month hits, and Alastor hates being more than a few moments from you. He growls, pins his ears, and his antlers grow when people get too close to you. He's more prone to letting you snuggle with him when you want, trying to comfort you.

Angel Dust

Another who volunteered. His girl besties insist he doesn't have to do this, he's got the pass. He still wants to do it though, for solidarity.

He also starts on 4 and handles it well. He handles all of the levels pretty well, even 10. By 7 it's obvious he's sore, maybe a bit more withdrawn, exhausted, trying not to move too much or eat too much. Just trying to find a comfortable way to exist. The sad problem is, Angel already has to do this after rough nights at Val's.

He's used to sitting being uncomfortable and aches in his groin and thighs, cramps in his stomach from muscles clenching constantly. 10 is the only level where he's visibly ill, hunched over, lower arms curled around his midsection protectively.

He and the girlies all curl up together and nap and chat and snack on easy to digest junk food and granola bars. He's the first one to say "I bet it's even worse for you gals, but I tried".

He gets it. He's one of the girls. Honestly, kind of becomes a favorite when the ladies have period problems. (If you're dating any of the others and Angel is openly your favorite after this it is gonna cause a lot of dramatic pouting, posturing, and tantrum throwing.)

Husk

I'm going full balls to the wall on Veteran Husk. This man has seen some shit and dealt with his fair share of pain. Like Angel he takes it the best, with very little outward reaction. He's used to stiffness and nausea. The pain in his crotch is a little off putting, but it could be worse.

He's more cautious how he moves, rests more, occasionally a cramp causes his ears to pin back or a small hiss. Overall he takes it like a champ.

Offers you endless amounts of supportive words for dealing with this as well as you do, for days on end. Also is deeply sorry you even have to put up with this shit. Offers all sorts of tips on how to do stretches that help with easing cramps and stiffness without pulling something. Tips of foods/protein drinks to keep on hand to make sure you're maximizing how much nutrition you get. Man's a whole ass survival guide.

He only offers advice if you ask, though. He's not mansplaining how to handle your own body. He genuinely wants to help you, and that's the best way he knows how.

When you're on your period and just want something soft and warm he doesn't even bitch about it, he just settles on top of you and purrs, offers a massage, maybe offers a sly grin and a "no man left behind" joke as he helps you through these dark times.

BONUS:

ADAM

Would only do this if you challenged him, he has to prove his masculinity. He is definitely nervous as fuck though because he's seen yours. You and Lute already forced him to sit through a whole PowerPoint on women's anatomy and shit. He remembers how shitty he was to Eve, even if hers were in comparison, not that bad, just scary and new.

You forcing him to learn about and acknowledge female health is making him scared of pussy. This isn't gonna help.

3 and 4 make him whiney. He's uncomfortable. His groin feels weird. This sucks. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T EVEN THE AVERAGE?!"

By 5-7 he's actually on his knees, curled over his stomach. He tells you getting stabbed hurt less. This is making him re-evaluate his entire view on women (again he knows about trans people, but because of personal history equates periods to women. Wouldn't hate if a trans person had a period, it would just take his brain a second to process). He whines that you and Lute shouldn't be more badass than him.

"I thought men were supposed to be tougher and stronger. This pain tolerance horseshit is a lie. You guys suck."

He insists on going to 10 because quitting is for losers. He may actually throw up at 10 though. Every time the stupid simulators sends out a pulse and his stomach clenches, he groans. He's in the featal position, there are tears. One hand clenches his stomach the other is cupped around his groin. He's apologizing so much and he doesn't even remember what he's apologizing for. At one point its just "I'm sorry...oh fuck this...sorry about...ugh just...just men?! I guess. Fucking shit ass. Men suck. Women are...fucking great. Aces. You do this shit every month? For like 5 days....what the fuck. What the fuck what the fuck."

You feel a little bad, but Lute is definitely filming this. Afterwards, he tells you you're a badass and any person shit talking people for bitching about period pain (Not that a lot of Winners do, but ya know, obviously they let some questionable people into Heaven if Adam and Lute got by) he's gonna beat the shit out of them. Like "Do you even fucking know, bitch? They're literally so much fucking better than you. Absolute queens. You try doing literally anything when it feels like your dick is falling off and your insides are trying to claw outside your body!"

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel lucifer #vox x reader #hazbin hotel valentino #lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel adam

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susiephone · 1 year

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wtf is dracula daily?

i’ve seen a couple people ask this question on my posts about it, so i thought i’d go ahead and clear it up here!

ok so, the classic horror novel “dracula” is an epistolary novel - that means it’s told via letters, diary entries, ship logs, and news articles. (technically the term “epistolary novel” refers to works told solely through letters or emails, but many have expanded it to mean any work that is told via in-universe documents, hence why diaries and logs often get included as well. “frankenstein” is another classic example; the whole framing device is robert walton is recounting the story he heard from victor to his sister via letter. a modern example would be “several people are typing,” which is told via slack messages, or “the perks of being a wallflower,” which is told via letters from charlie to his anonymous pen pal, which is functionally more like you’re reading his diary.)

because of the nature of the narrative, we actually know the exact day nearly everything in dracula happens - the letters, news articles, diary entries, etc. are all dated.

“dracula daily” is a substack project where the novel is broken up into parts, with people who are subscribed to the project getting emails every day something in dracula happens - for example, the novel opens with jonathan harker’s journal entry on may 3, so on may 3, subscribers are emailed that entry. the action of dracula takes place from may 3 - november 6, plus an epilogue set some years later. the project started in 2021 (i think), but fucking BLEW UP in 2022, and they’re doing it again this year! lots of us are very excited - especially people like me who fell behind last time.

why not just read the book?

valid! due to some parts of dracula being told out of chronological order, dracula daily does reorder some things. for example, the first section of dracula is told entirely from jonathan harker’s pov, then the second section switches the pov to mina murray. their sections have some overlap in the timeline, so dracula daily jumps back and forth between their perspectives.

if you want to read the book as bram stoker intended, dracula daily may not be for you. but for a lot of people (myself included!), it breaks up a very long text into easily digestible chunks (....mostly. there is one entry that is 10k words), and the fact that it’s a big project means there are a lot of people reading along with you.

i think there’s also something valuable about experience the slow revelation of wtf is going on along with the characters. the book which you might otherwise get through in a few days is stretched out into months of suspense and agony as you wait for the other shoe to drop, and it’s great.

plus, the whiplash between “jonathan harker’s neverending horror” vs “lucy is basically on the bachelorette” that you get in dracula daily is very very funny.

how do i sign up?

right here! and if you sign up and fall behind in the emails, no worries - the dracula daily website posts past entries so you can catch up.

what if i prefer audiobooks?

have i got great news for you!

like i mentioned before, i couldn’t keep up with the emails last year. part of it is that it is much easier for me to focus on an audiobook or keep up with a podcast than it is for me to sit down and read, especially with longer entries.

this year, there is going to be a podcast titled “re: dracula” that was inspired by dracula daily. every episode will be a dracula daily entry, with a full voice cast! (seriously, if you listen to british podcasts, you will recognize some of these names. the magnus archives and wooden overcoats girlies are WINNING.) you can find that here.

there is also a podcast called “cryptic canticles” that has an already-completed audiodrama of dracula that i’m told is also extremely good, and was also broken up by date. you can find that here.

why do i keep hearing about paprika/the boyfriend squad/lizard fashion/cowboys?

you’ll see.

oh god am i gonna hear about this nerd shit for the rest of the year

yes. sorry.

#dracula #dracula daily #re: dracula #cryptic canticles

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notyourhetloki · 11 months

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sleepover (Ken x GN Reader)

Reader: gender neutral

/Ken x Doll!Reader/

A/N: Hey! So... my requests are closed BUT with you'd like anything about this pretty himbo I would love to write it! Just send me a message ;)

Warnings: Technically SFW but very suggestive themes, I think "kissing laying down" would be equivalent to sex in Barbieland so… yeah. THEY DON'T HAVE GENITALS.

—

Now that Ken was your official boyfriend and you had gone on several dates together, you decided it was time for the next step.

When you invited Ken for a sleepover at your house, he almost burst into tears at how happy he was... but of course, he tried playing it cool. "Sure, doll."

In your bedroom, you watched movies as you played dress up, trying to match as many outfits as possible. You painted each other's nails and brushed each other's hair, gossiping about other dolls... you had a lot of fun!

As the night continued, you grew closer and closer to each other. Sitting on your bed with thighs and shoulders touching. He just couldn't wait any longer, so he went for it eventually.

Ken kissed you tenderly at first, holding the side of your face with one hand and holding yours with the other. You had kissed a hundred times by now, but it always felt like the first time...

Then, the kiss deepened. Ken was now holding you by the waist, desperate for some more contact... you hummed in approval as his tongue grazed yours and he smiled against your lips.

You parted to breathe, and a thought came to your mind... it felt a little dirty, but you assumed Ken wouldn't judge you. "Ken, what if... what if we like, kiss but... laying down?"

He gasped, putting his hand against his mouth. You soon realized he was blushing HARD, and you regretted saying anything. "Sorry! Am I going too fast? I didn't want to-"

"No! It's ok! I mean, I didn't think you'd ask, but... I'm down for it. I... really want to." Ken looked at you with soft blue eyes, almost pleading. He would never admit it but he was really needy, and just the thought of being more intimate with you made him shake in excitement.

"Oh! Ok, then... c'mere, baby." He loved when you called him 'baby', so he gladly obliged, laying down next to you on your bed. You started kissing immediately, hands roaming all over.

After what felt like a few minutes, Ken suddenly moved to be on top of you, kissing your jaw, then down your neck... A sound escaped your throat and you weren't quite sure what it was. But you liked it... really much.

"Ken... you're so good..." you whispered, and immediately you felt him shiver. God how he loved to be praised... it made his entire day, week even. He adored being praised by YOU specifically, and those words... in these circumstances... it made him feel something he didn't quite understand yet. Like a heat in his chest, in his belly... he wanted more.

"(Y/N)... please... say that again..." His eyes suddenly darker by his blown-out pupils, mouth slightly agape, hair all messy... he looked beautiful.

"You're so good, Ken... You're amazing..." You were cut out by his mouth crashing into yours, lips working fiercely while tongues danced around. It was messy, something you two were not accustomed to. It felt dirty but so good... you grasped Ken by his hair and he hummed in approval, while he grabbed at your waist and thighs, making you whine.

He eventually moved to your neck again, and you had the chance to think out loud. "This is how they do it in the Real World, right?"

Slightly out of breath, Ken looked up at you and responded. "Most definitely."

You two would make out for hours, grabbing and touching and kissing until you grew tired and decided to sleep. You hugged Ken from behind while he adjusted in your bed, completely overjoyed.

In the morning, while having breakfast, you two discussed the night before. "Woah... it was awesome. Like, the best experience I've ever had!" Ken exclaimed energetically. "Maybe next time we can do it like the movies?"

You looked at him in innocent confusion, expecting him to elaborate. "You know, with... less clothes..." His head was slightly down, so his eyes went up to meet yours, just like a puppy. You blushed hard at the thought, but smiled and nodded, seeing his expression change from pleading to relief to happiness in a matter of seconds. "Cool."

"Like the movies, huh? How long have you been thinking about that?"

"Uh... for a while now." He admitted, bringing his hand behind his head and flexing his bicep in the process, drawing a big smile from you.

"So... do you have any plans for tonight?" You asked mischievously, resting your head on your hands.

Ken looked right into your eyes before licking his lips and imitating your pose. "For you, I'm always available."

—

#ken #ken x reader #ken x you #barbie ken #ryan gosling #gender neutral #ken x gn reader #imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #headcanon #self insert #y/n #notyourhetloki

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punkpandapatrixk · 3 days

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🎡Cosmic Messages for Workers of Light ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

Those of you who’ve always had a feeling that you were born to do something important; those of you who’ve recently been feeling like you’re being called to something higher than the mundane; YO, this reading has appeared in your Reality now to signal that the lights are green~🥝🥦🥑

Many people have been on different timelines that are now converging as one singular trajectory of where Humanity is heading. It’s a little bit more convoluted than that tho, because we each experience this Game a whole lot differently, too. But essentially, we’re wrapping up karmic cycles and entering a Golden Age of Workers of Light~★

Technically speaking, the essence…the theme…of the New Age of Aquarius is accountability. This is an era of accountability, folks. People can no longer be supported by any kind of cosmic power to perpetuate deceit and the misuse of knowledge.

‘But when knowledge is abused or put to the servility of coining wealth for a few, without respect of the treasury which all inherit, then humanity departs from the machine and all is toil without profit. For the false-hearted who would tear knowledge apart, diminishing the light and shielding its beams from us, will make mechanicals of us all.’ – excerpt from Manifesto of The Guild of Artificers; The Steampunk Tarot

What’s your current timeline? Which trajectory of the future of Humanity are you on? This reading serves as a prelude to what’s going to be revealed more in-depth in the ‘Lion’s Gate Portal to XXX’ PAC~💋

INTELLIGENCE: Mission Mind Control (1979) on Nuclear Vault

TECHNOMAGY: Probability Alteration and Luck (Energetically Programmed Audio) by Sapien Medicine

deck-bottom: XXI The World Rx, Silver Geographer (Francis Drake) & Priestess of Shine

[PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – You’re Going to Change the World by Making It Innocent Again

ANGEL NUMBERS: variants of 585, 627, 657, 757, 818, 828

the meaning of NOW – 6 of Pentacles Rx

Have you ever had glimpses of imagination, or a sense of knowing, or it’s just a feeling, like you were dropped to Earth by mistake? Perhaps it’s a feeling as if you were a Greek god banished from the realms of the gods and entered Earth as a form of punishment? Or a bit of a feeling like you got scammed and arrived on the wrong Planet? LMAO Why am I thinking of that Bollywood movie called ‘PK’?

The alien kid arrived on a strange Planet: Earth. And Humanity—Indian primarily—befuddles the living shit out of him XD I think you’ve known for quite a while that you’re not from around here. You’ve never really fit in. I think you weren’t treated nicely by most people—could be your own blood ‘family’, could be your schoolmates, teachers, neighbours. Just basically, you’re seen as a bit of a freak.

It’s hard for you to feel a sense of community. No matter what stage of Life you are in, it’s always felt like that. If at the moment of reading this you’re older in age, I think you’re managing a lot better now. You’ve learnt to be OK with your own company because you’re the most smartest and interesting person you could have conversations with. But if you’re comparatively younger, you’re probably still going through the motion, and that’s OK, because it’s just part of the lore building ;P

bridging the future – King of Wands

The simplest truth about your existence is that you aren’t meant to ‘grow up’ in the same sense as most other people do. Growing up is a wonderful thing, of course, we all need to grow up and become smarter and amazinger! But what doesn’t sit right with you is people’s twisted idea of ‘growing up’ is all about. To most lame-ass Humans on this Planet, ‘growing up’ means abandoning the core essence of what makes you, you.

On this Planet, ‘growing up’ means letting go of your innocence and simple kindness in exchange for survival and brutality (in the workplace, I guess). Here on this Planet, ‘growing up’ means burning your passion to ashes; not living Life fuelled by a burning passion. Here, ‘growing up’ means being punished for authenticity and the childlike courage to question authority. Growing up, here, means becoming complicit to evil abuse of power and greed.

How are you supposed to comply to any of that? Don’t you realise how pure your Heart is? Your sense of justice is clear since day one. It’s something you may not be able to express clearly but you know what’s right and wrong on the basis of what’s good and bad for people as….just people…not numbers or statistics or traffic or casualties. ‘People are PEOPLE, dammit!’

you’re going to MAKE IT – 3 of Cups Rx

You’re befuddled? This world is befuddled! If you’ve chosen this Pile as your main pile, you have it written in your Soul’s blueprint that you’re going to be involved in the politics of the world. Yes, some of you could become politicians or activists, but even those that aren’t interested in any of that, you’re still going to have opinions and perspectives that touch on the subject of Humanity and how psychopath politicians are fucking things up for Humans.

You know what I mean? Some of you could become world players that implement new laws and principles in your society. Some of you will have the power to influence public opinions so that people begin to demand accountability from their corrupt governments. Back to basics, baby. What is Humanity, basically? What does it mean to even be Human living in a Human World, basically? You’ve questioned all of this and you will one day have a platform to extend this musing to a larger audience.

The lights are GREEN now. You’ve experienced so much personal conflict with people who don’t understand your values, all so you would learn to forge connections with people who are just as innocently passionate as you are. That was your training ground, bitch~♥︎ Your personal experiences were a microcosm model of what’s going to sweep out the entire world in the coming decades, if not centuries.

Basically, it's time nations started actually taking care of their own issues before they raid and destroy other nations for resources is what your Soul is understanding.

TIMELINE🔻💛

daydreaming – Gold Magus (Johannes Faustus)

engaging in Reality – Priestess of Innocence

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – You’re Not Confused; This World Is; So You’re Alright

ANGEL NUMBERS: variants of 111, 123, 222, 414, 444, 647

the meaning of NOW – 9 of Cups

Head in the clouds, baby? You’re the type of person who has many dreams and ideas, and it’s like, it’s easy for you to get interested in all kinds of pursuits. But then, it’s also just as easy to lose interest in all of those novelties; it feels like your heart and mind are always being pulled by newer interests or topics. I’m reminded of this meme or whisper that says something like, ‘Not tonight babe. A YouTuber has just posted a 4-hour video about a topic I’ve never heard about before.’

You like to study new things or basically just drown yourself in new hobbies/interests because you’re trying to make sense out of your very existence. I think you’ve felt incredibly confused your entire Life. If not ‘confused’ per se, it still feels like you’re lacking a sense of direction. You don’t really know what’s the purpose of being here on this Planet. You’re weirded out by the fact that you’re not motivated by the same things that others have convinced you to get excited about.

‘Why am I not motivated by these promises and achievements? Damn, I simply can’t be motivated by something as unromantic as that. There’s no Life in any of those pursuits. My God, what should I be interested in for me to motivate myself to make something out of myself? I really don’t know what to pursue in this world. I don’t even know how to live…’ So you continue to daydream but your heart is quite heavy sometimes.

bridging the future – Ace of Cups Rx

Pile 2, you are magic, you know that? Being the way that you are, you aren’t in the wrong for being rather ‘impractical’. If anything, you’re so high-vibrational that you still remember that physical manifestation comes from the dream world first. I think you’d resonate with being a very Feminine person, aenergetically speaking? Maybe you have a strong Moon/Neptune placement in your birth chart as well.

You remember on a Soul level that all dreams can become real as long as you keep on to them. Your being a dreamer who dreams ‘too much’ is not wrong; it is this world that’s too rigid and restrictive. It’s grotesque how society has set up so many rules that limit what a being as divine as you can and can’t do/create. They say the sky’s the limit; in your case, your faith’s the limit.

There are many wonderful things that you want to make manifest but you often tell yourself that you’re dreaming too much or that there’s no way someone like you could ever achieve that. That’s where you’re doing ‘wrong’: the not believing in your own ability to create your dream Life. Remember that successful people usually say that the Life they have now exceeds even their ‘wildest’ dreams.

So dream wild. Dream big. Even if you don’t believe you can exceed your expectations, can’t you still believe that you’ll manifest something very similar?

you’re going to MAKE IT – 9 of Wands Rx

Stop stopping yourself, OK? Stop gaslighting yourself for fuck’s saké. Right now, you need to stop believing that Life’s supposed to be hard work and lived logically. You literally deserve to get paid for just existing. That sounds extra narcissistic but hope you get the idea. This modern society that favours hard work and believes that only after you’ve worked really hard can you then be worthy of a lot of abundance is stupid. This world is confused. People have forgotten the essence of dreaming and living in ease.

Some of you will resonate with being a fairy or an elven soul, and so you believe from the depths of your heart that people should be allowed an easy existence in harmony with nature. Some of you will resonate with being a futuristic alien android being who believes that human lives can be made easy with the right use of technology.

All in all, cosmically speaking, your Soul came into this world to be a ‘lazy’ genius who will switch things up for Humanity so that everybody can have an easier time existing on this Planet. Geniuses are never lazy, bitch. Not in the mind! If wanting things to be more streamlined and easy to do makes a person ‘lazy’ that’s hilarious. So what’s a not-lazy person? A low-IQ idiot who perpetually works hard because they got scammed by capitalism?

TIMELINE🔻💙

daydreaming – Green Magus (John Dee)

engaging in Reality – Priestess of Ambition

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Illuminate Others’ Paths by Simply Expressing Your Truth

ANGEL NUMBERS: variants of 211, 217, 303, 522, 814, 999

the meaning of NOW – 3 of Swords Rx

Do you know that you’re an energy worker? I almost feel you’re a miracle worker. You’re somebody who has a special power in the way that you express yourself, whether in writing or spoken. It’s not so much what you say or write or do, it’s HOW you say or do or write your truth that moves people’s hearts. You have the power to stir some shit up in people’s aenergetic fields LOL

You have both the power to destroy your enemies and heal those who want to get better in the world. If your power is speech, it’s the aenergy with which you talk that empowers people. Ionno, think JFK, MLK? Or some fascinating YouTubers who make us feel like, ‘Oh this guy/gal is my spirit animal!!!’ It’s their aenergy, right? Same with writing or any other thing that you do. It comes natural to you to create some kind of a ripple in people’s consciousness.

For other people, just tuning in your aenergetic space stirs them. That’s why you experience a lot of extremes. Good-hearted people feel immensely healed, comforted and uplifted in your presence or when they talk/text with you. But the false-hearted ones, they also know there’s something about you that calls out their bullshit even when you’re not ‘saying’ anything. There’s something about you that inspires people to be better! And that’s fucking annoying to narcs and the losers of the world LMAO

bridging the future – 10 of Pentacles Rx

I see that you’re honestly not the kinda person who’s ambitious about changing the world, about influencing the world. Not in that ambitious manner like some activist or whatever. Your Soul is very incredibly superbly soft; you ain’t an activist, you’re an artist; you ain’t a fighter, you a lover, baby~ So I get that you sometimes don’t really know what to do with yourself XD Like there’s this desire to heal the world, but you don’t think of yourself as someone who’s fighter enough or strong enough to do any of that.

WRONG. You’re the kinda entity who’s already doing all that healing stuff by simply being the amazing person that you are. Your aenergy is like a combination of both Pile 1 and 2. The half of you is superbly soft and dreamy and you’re so kind and empathetic; the other half of you is fiercely protective of those who are hurting, and you do a lot to make things better and easier for them—in your own practical, seemingly small ways.

The good news is, you really don’t have to be a fighter if it doesn’t suit you. Basically, you just have to be yourself and express your truth. In whatever way you find most suitable to you. Your power lies in your communication, self-expression, connection. You’re going to be a trend-setter, babe~ A trend-setter of authenticity, yup, ‘real authenticity’, ironically; not ‘fake authentic’ that’s propagated by a lot of narcs on the Internet LOL

you’re going to MAKE IT – 3 of Pentacles

With narcs who are pretending so HARD at being good, you know it’s all skin-deep; it’s all just jargon. And they’re gonna get really good at weaponizing self-love concepts to justify shit behaviour, deadbeat behaviour, toxic tendencies, gaslighting atrocities and all that shit, you know? With you, your VIBRATIONS can’t be faked, let alone emulated. The world needs a role model like you. That’s why you’re going to make it. Your Soul Mission ain’t just about you, babe~

You’re literally going to be the example whom people bear witness for what being authentic is all about. They will watch you and come to their own conclusion what a genuine soul looks like. You’re reminding me of Dr Jordan B Peterson. Yep, that kinda vibe. Be weird all you want, be scandalous all you want, the right people will see that your INTENT has been good all along. And in that sense, the people who CHOOSE to view you badly are the CLOWNS, and they’re gonna be proving that to themselves.

In essence, most people’s idols are all LIARS!!! You’re meant to break that, destroy that, and usher in a new era of influencers/celebs/thought leaders/spiritual teachers/all kinds of public figures that actually operate on Light—real information and real intent—instead of fake-ass jargon that lies to people’s faces with semantics and optics! Your aenergy is insane it’s literally gonna change the world massively, and upon finding this reading, you’re riding on the winds of CHANGE so get fucking READY, bitch~! \`★_★`/

TIMELINE🔻🧡

daydreaming – Green Astronomer (Nicolaus Copernicus)

engaging in Reality – Priestess of Illumination

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jo-harrington · 4 months

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The Boy Is Mine (Jo's Edition)

Summary: A romantic night in at the trailer. And a first date.

Word Count: 1.7k

Themes: First Date, Fluff, First Kiss, Teasing, Banter, Geekery

Notes: My submission for @carolmunson's The Boy Is Mine Writing Excercise. This was a fun one, and I know the idea was for it not to be an AU...I guess technically it isn't (although I definitely thought of my STFF Eddie who...well...it's fanfiction *wink* especially since we're not gonna see their first date in the story). Thank you for putting together a fun game Carol.

Tagging a few friends who I think would have some great additions to this prompt: @eddiemunsonbignaturals @undead-supernova @storiesbyrhi

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

---

Pizza? Delivered.

Twinkies? Vanilla frosting. Not Banana.

Trailer? Tidied.

Sheets? Changed.

There was a knock at the door and Eddie took a breath and held it as he stared at his bed.

"You're not gonna end up in here," he muttered to himself.

Ok but maybe you would. He could be hopeful. Maybe a kiss would lead to something else.

"No idiot. It's just a study date."

There was another knock and he turned on his heel and rushed for the door.

He paused at the last second--glanced around, ran his hands over the front of his t-shirt, and put the most casual smile on his face--before he opened the door.

And then there you were.

A backpack slung over your shoulder, 6-pack of Dr. Pepper hanging from your fingers, looking...hot effortlessly gorgeous...or at least he thought so.

"Hey," you greeted. "Sorry if I'm late."

"No," he shook his head quickly and shifted to the side to let you pass into the trailer. "Right on time sweetheart. Hope you like pepperoni."

Of course you did. It was your favorite.

"It's my favorite."

Eddie clenched his fist in victory as he shut the door and then stood back and watched indulgently as you took in the wonders of the place he called home. He committed it all to memory; the way your eyes lingered on Wayne's collection of mugs and hats from over the years, or your nose scrunched up cutely at the sight of family pictures on a shelf--

Please god, don't see the picture of him missing his two front teeth.

--or the way it scrunched further, more in annoyance than fondness, and your eyebrow quirked at the stack of video tapes beside the television.

Shit.

"Uh," he cleared his throat and swooped in, arm hovering around your shoulders as he led you to the couch where the pizza and his history homework waited. His hand drifted to yours so he could grab the sodas. "Lemme put this in the fridge so it gets cold. I have Mountain Dew...or beer, if you want one."

"Mountain Dew's fine."

"As you wish," he bowed and you giggled. He cursed himself as he headed to the kitchen.

What a fucking nerd--

"So you read the Princess Bride?" you called out to him.

"Y-yes."

"It's one of my favorite books! A story within a story and all of that. And it can be critical of itself. It's perfect!"

Eddie's heart soared.

The two of you went back and forth for a few minutes discussing the merits of the book and the way it provided so much suspense and adventure and escapism; something it seemed, and Eddie wasn't surprised to find, you both had needed throughout your relatively-young lives.

Before long, he shuffled out of the kitchen with two cans and two solo cups to find you comfortably settled on the couch with your legs criss-crossed and a throw pillow settled in your lap. You looked right at home, at ease with him, and he had to say...he liked that sight quite a bit.

"I ran out of like, nice cups," he changed the subject so he wouldn't focus too much on how much he enjoyed the sight. "Hope this is okay."

"Ok, well what are the nice cups?" you narrowed your eyes at him playfully. "Because I see plenty of nice cups right in front of us, Mister."

You gestured at the shelves lined with mugs and Eddie couldn't help but roll his eyes at you.

"Those aren't nice cups Madam," he scoffed. "Those are family heirlooms. The nice cups are the Star Wars: Return of the Jedi glasses I got from Burger King. Obviously."

"Well excuse me," you straightened in your seat and rocked your shoulders back and forth haughtily. "The fine crystal."

"And don't you forget it."

"And here you are, presenting me with...plastic. Like a peasant."

"If you don't stop, we're gonna have a problem."

He held out the red solo cup filled with fluorescent green liquid and you snatched it from him with a quick flash of your tongue.

Then the two of you got right down to business: homework.

You pulled a small notebook from your backpack and then asked to see his notes from class so you could help him get a better idea of what was important for an upcoming quiz that he'd mentioned the day prior. He was ashamed to say he wasn't the best notetaker, but you pivoted easily as you flipped through a few pages and went from sparse notes about Civics and the US Constitution to long drawn out paragraphs about the Riders of Rohan and graphic descriptions of the Meduseld.

"Don't be like that," you scolded him. "That's not even true. What is this?"

"This?" He waved dismissively. "It's just...notes for Hellfire. Ahem...Hellfire Club...my Dungeons and Dragons club at school."

"Oh yeah?"

"Planning a one-shot for my buddy Jeff's birthday in a world where Theodred doesn't die and goes on to become...well...it's just nerd stuff."

Eddie sniffed and thought back to the many times that he'd been cut short trying to explain his ideas to others; even Ronnie got on his case when he got too into it.

How many times had she heard him get into an argument with himself over the benefits of Mithril vs. Adamantium?

"Excuse me," you looked at him expectantly, breaking through his thoughts. "Nerd stuff?"

"Yeah," he shrugged and let out a self-deprecating laugh. "Nerd stuff. We're supposed to be focusing on History."

"Ok, yes but..." you reached out and poked him in the the dimple in his cheek. "You didn't say in a 'we should just focus on history instead' way. You said it in a 'you don't want to hear about this' way."

"Well do you? Do you actually like that?""

"Did I not just tell you that Inigo Montoya is the real hero of Princess Bride and not Westley or Buttercup not five minutes ago?"

Eddie stared at you like a deer in the headlights.

Ok. You got him there.

But...but...God...old habits died hard.

How many times had people not given him the time of day when it came to silly little stories and make believe worlds? How many times had the people closest to him not even taken the time to listen?

He'd already been sold on the fact that you weren't just a dream; how could you be real and actually be his dream girl too?

God, it was too good to be true.

Eddie swallowed hard and centered himself back in reality. He was gonna have to salvage this moment before he made a real fool out of himself and asked you to marry him or something. That would be a little too strong for a first date...and a study date, at that.

He grumbled something under his breath.

"'Scuse me? What was that?" you leaned in closer to him.

"It was 10 minutes ago," he spoke up, staring at you matter-of-factly, a fiery challenge in his eyes to hide the fact that he was actively falling for you. "Actually."

You threw your head back in a laugh and slapped the back of your hand against his shoulder.

"You shithead," you cackled. "Ok fine. 10 minutes. Now. How about we actually study for 10 more minutes, and then you can tell me about this...Dungeons and Dragons while we eat ok?"

He happily agreed.

Towards the end of the night, pizza and sodas had been devoured, homework demolished, and Eddie actually felt like he had a shot at getting a decent grade on his next History quiz.

"Alright," he sighed and leaned against the back of the couch. "I think we're done here. A success if I do say so myself. I guess I'll keep you around."

"Keep me?" you quirked an eyebrow at him. "Uh huh, more like, will you please come back and help me study again?"

"Are..." Eddie scoffed. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"You volunteered!"

"I volunteered for one study date."

"What, so a second one is out of the question?" he asked as he leaned forward and edged into your space.

"Well," you began with an expression that oozed contemplation in an exaggerated fashion. God, you were almost as dramatic as he was.

You were perfect.

"Well, if you're asking me for a second date, Edward? Then the answer is yes."

He clapped his hands together and laughed.

"Haha, see I knew that you couldn't get enough of--"

"But," you stopped him, and he stared, open-mouthed with words half-falling from his lips. "If you're asking me to come back to study? Well, then the second session is gonna cost you."

And he fell for it for a second. Just a split second. He thought that yeah it made sense if he wanted your help, he was gonna have to give something in return.

But then he saw the sly little smile that you were fighting to keep off your lips, saw the adorable little scrunch in your nose that he'd memorized earlier in the night, and the way your fingers fiddled on the couch cushion, as you slowly inched closer to him.

And he understood.

Oh...

"Oh yeah?" He narrowed his eyes at you in faux-suspicion. "Alright...name your price."

"It's not gonna be cheap," you insisted.

"I can pay anything."

"You sure about that?"

"Oh," he leaned closer to you now, volume and timber getting lower the closer he got. "I'm absolutely sure sweetheart."

You bit your lip slyly.

"I think fair market price...is a kiss."

"Just one?" he teased, lips absolutely within smooching distance from yours now.

"Maybe two."

You bit your lip to keep your smile at bay and Eddie had to stop himself from kissing you right then and there.

"Two?! Well," he sighed. "You drive a hard bargain. And who am I to pass up such a once-in-a-lifetime deal?"

"Just a nerd," you whispered against his lips.

"Just a nerd," he repeated, and then slotted his lips right against yours, ending your perfect first date with the perfect first kiss.

Just like on TV.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #prompt game #the boy is mine #stff updates #stranger than (fan)fiction #carol <3

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blkgirl-writing · 9 months

Text

Part 1.5 of: What happened at the moon lit pond

Gale x Fem!reader

(Link to part ONE)

Note: Very flustered Gale 😩 it’s a little shorty to go between parts. Technical FEM reader but no pronouns are mentioned in this.

TW: BJ, swallowing cum, drained gale, obviously a bit graphic.

Word count: 587

"but-" you knew he was going to mumble something about how he'd rather please you more, but deep down he really needed your mouth on his fat cock.

"I take care of you this time, ok? your head can be between my legs anytime after" You knew that would send him into a spiral. Your hands made his way up his toned, tan thighs and over to his erection, placing a gentle hand on his balls and the other firmly gripping his dick, stroking slowly, drawn out. “Now tell me you need it-“

Gale opened his mouth to respond, but a simple, deep moan fell from his lips as your tongue was gently pressed against his tip, unmoving, waiting for him to beg for more to give in.

“I-“ he shivered, clenching his fist.

Your lips formed around his tip and pulled back, placing a small and delicate kiss on him. “What was that?”

“Take it all. Gods take all of my cock in your pretty little mouth, please-“ his hands flew up to grasp at your hair, taking a fistful and gently (with much restraint on his part) pushed your head further onto his cock, guiding your bobbing head in the perfect rythem. Your tongue flirted around his tip and down his shaft at he fucked your throat.

It was hard for you to keep his gaze, straining up from his frankly, massive cock, instead you switched from his glistening eyes to his tattoos chest. His cock pumping in and out of your throat and hand that was grasped around the base of him. You moaned around him, vibrations sending a shiver down his spine. It felt so good. Too good. He was already about to cum and it had only been a few minutes, if that. But looking down at you, with those pretty lips perfectly wrapped around his cock, eyes practically ordering him to cum. But gods did he want to see you like this forever.

You made sure to moan one more time before coming up for air, a small "pop" sound from your lips leaving him, "It's ok, you can cum in my mouth," you winked. "I won't leave a mess. We don't want the others to see, do we?"

Gales mouth fell open, stumbling over his words several times before he swallowed all the pent up pleasure to attempt to answer "As long as i feel your lips around my dick I don't have a care in the world."

"well then..." your tongue grazed his shaft before you took him fully, or as much as you really could, into your mouth. bobbing aggressively, milking that orgasm out of him. Moans and stroking in sync. He had no chance of lasting long, that was clear.

He pulled your head in, sinking your throat down on his cock a but further as he spilled down your mouth, cum filling you up, much more than you expected. his hips jerked as he whimpered, eyes fluttering closed. His energy drained from his body clearly, in fact you had to help him from falling over, quickly swallowing what was left in your mouth.

"Gale, watch it big boy" you clutched his back, drawing yourself back up from the ground. "take it easy. Didn't know I was that good. You used your free hand to wipe the rest of his cum off your lips.

"you're very versed in... that-" he sighed, head thrown back, gazing at the sky.

"you should see me ride then."

"I hope to"

#took a surprisingly long time to write but the second part will be out soon!#gale of waterdeep #smut #gale x reader #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate gale #baldurs gate x reader #gale #fanfiction #x reader #gale x tav #gale dekarios #gale bg3 #gale headcanons

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butterscotchpiesandguys · 5 months

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Student Becomes the Teacher

It was a familiar experience to me, getting in my car, going to class early, doing homework. Felt nice. Of course what was also familiar was the bullying. You see I had recently gotten fired and had a wake up call. I needed to do something better with my life. So what did I do? i, as someone so smart would do, joined a technical institute. I went into a more financial side though. This did not make me popular with my classmates who had been there longer, were usually older, and most of which were more hands on.

They would call me a nerd, a loser, and a geek. Of course I didn't care all too much about this. Harassment was just that, and quite frankly it was some annoying dumb ass adults who couldn't even think straight enough to get a job that was actually needed. This attitude also made me very unpopular. So unpopular a teacher complained. Why? Cause he had heard some of the stuff me and my field would say about the welders.

It was just stuff like how they're stupid, all have at least one DUI, won't amount to anything. Stuff like that. He went so far to complain to the head administrator of the school. Now he used to be an electrician so he knew how it was to be hands on. He loved hearing about all of this and hatched a plan. The workload for the welders had been pretty overwhelming for just one instructor...

It was only a few days before I heard murmurs of a new instructor coming on campus, of course it was some welder... not like my section could get anything. But that same week I was called into an office at campus. I expected nothing much, maybe an odd thing I lost, although what it was I could not imagine... what I didn't expect was the head administrator.

"Hello [Y/N], we just wanted to talk to you today." Oh god what was it about, he could see how nervous I was. It was humiliating but also I needed to try and keep cool. "We had received some complaints about your attitude towards the welders and electricians, I just wanted to go through a few questions with you, that ok?"

Without knowing what to do I nodded, "Y-yes sir." I gulped a bit.

"Good, so first... is it true you had said to Taylor that he was a... no good stoner with no future? Is that true?" I tried to shake my head no but it went the opposite way. "Ah, glad you were honest with me. Well... you know here we like to give second chances to anyone right?" I shook my head in agreement. "In that case, any felonies you have?"

What felonies? What kind of- "Yeah, actually I've had a dui or two, got arrested for a fight or two... or more." What was I saying?! What the hell?!

"I appreciate your honesty... Tom was it?" What kind of name was that? It wasn't my name at all? Wait why did I nod?! "Yeah, well that's gonna be tough but your students generally would relate. The head administrator smiled at me. "We can wave those away since your track record for your work is pretty good."

"Glad to hear that." I said again in that weird voice. What the hell was happening... why did I suddenly remember welding and shit... What the hell...

"Yeah... I think you'll fit right in, Tom." Why was he being so devilish right now?!

"Thanks man, really need this." I chuckled as I stood up and walked out of the room. "Startin next thursday right?"

"Yup! Just wear somethin like that when you come in! We'll get a shirt in your size soon!" He laughed as I walked out, the window in the door showing a new reflection.

My face was more dashing, a bit older as well. My hair was messy but in an almost purposeful way. My body had grown quite a bit of muscle now... hair as well. Tattoos had been put on my body frivolously! I looked like some typical douche bag!

I walked through the halls, trying to see on my phone what had happened. My background was a picture of a motorcycle. Jessie... what? Who the hell was Jessie? My contacts had some girls in there and some guys I had no clue who they were. Going through the messages they were my drinking buddies and some hookups.

I continued until the electrician teacher stopped to talk. "Hey are you..." I wanted to say my actual name but that didn't pop out.

"Yeah, name's Thomas Wylder. You can just call me Tom though." I smiled at her... it was like my body moved on it's own. "New teacher here, welding." Wait...

We started to talk in the hall for a bit, just about staff in the school and how the welders were. She described them as younger than me and rowdy. I would make douchey comments or state shit about my life. Where I now lived, how many years I had been a welder and in the union. It was like I wasn't even me anymore. Eventually I cut it short, needing to go do some "tasks" at my home.

I went outside to find it... the same motorcycle from the picture. Jessie. I put on a leather jacket and no helmet... I could ride it with no issue though. I was still wondering how or why this happened. It was as if I was... no... the head administrator wouldn't do that would he?

I eventually got back to wherever my home was. Beaten up shithole kinda... not in a good neighborhood either. I waved to a neighbor and went in. Smelt like shit, I reached in my pocket and took out a cig and started smoking... no... I was the worst kind of person. The kind I hated. Dumb, arrogant, douchey, and toxic! It was awful!

2 MONTHS HAD GONE BY

I was now regularly teaching the class, about two weeks into this hellish experience I had started to regain full control of my life. While I tried to actually stop these worse traits, I couldn't. By that point they were ingrained into me. Now I acted like a douchey teacher, the kinds you hate. The ones that will just tease or make fun of nerdy kids. Of course I was well loved by the staff and my students.

I worked as a welder and taught the trade now. I hated it... but it gave me money to pay the lifestyle I never wanted. I don't think I deserved this but... I'm slowly coming around to it. I feel more confident and hey, I even hang out with some of the douchebags I had teach me when I went here... god I sound so old now... I hope someday I can reverse this before it's way too late.

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cairavende · 5 months

Text

My wonderful girlfriend got me Gideon the Ninth for Christmas and I realized why should I just give Worm recaps? Let's read some Locked Tomb! (We'll see how this format works, maybe I'll adjust it. Specifically might break stuff down into smaller segments instead of full acts, but I didn't think of doing this until after I had read all of act 1.)

Gideon the Ninth Act 1 (chapter 1 through 8) thoughts:

This book is so gay oh my god

Like, it's gay in ways I can't even explain. I love it.

Harrow beats the shit out of Gideon in chapter 2 and I don't know if I've ever seen someone get beat up in a more gay way.

"Oh Griddle! But I don't even remember about you most of the time." ROLL A FUCKING DECEPTION CHECK HARROW! You are saying this standing in the middle of the field you spent all night burying bones in just to foil her escape in the most dramatic way. You can't stop remembering her.

Gideon is the most herbo of herbos. I fucking love her. I love reading her PoV. She just knows punch and stab with sword and if those don't work than she'll just do them harder.

Also Gideon is SO fucking gay. Dear god. Dulcinea faints and Gideon turns off all though. HELP PRETTY GIRL. Nothing else.

Ok I could just make this whole thing "EVERYTHING IS GAY" but there is technically more than that.

I love how weird everything is and how little explanation is given. I don't want pages of exposition, I want to learn the world as it comes at me! This is perfect.

And just the very nature of things that seem weird not being given more than a passing thought in the book is information. Something may seem wild to the reader but it's so normalized to the characters that they wouldn't even think about the idea of it being different.

Lack of explanation also helps really show how much of a meathead Gideon is. Do the readers get to learn details about this thing? Only if it is a weapon, has tits, or Gideon is forced to listen while Harrow explains it. Otherwise no, why the fuck would Gideon spend her precious few brain cells on thinking?

And even if Gideon is forced to listen as Harrow explains it, the readers might not learn much cause Gideon might stop listening. I love her.

Aiglamene is wonderful. Crux is fine but I like her more.

Poor Gideon just wants a big sword that she can swing hard. It's not like she can't use a rapier. But why when she can go big sword?

SO MUCH CATHOLICISM

As someone who once was Catholic and then realized I was actually not a straight man, but instead a lesbian, I am in deep.

And the fucking slang used! Or whatever would be the right term. The shit they say! I love it. Just the weird sci-fi far future space necromancer universe and then suddenly "Are you asking me to . . . throw her a bone?", "Gideon had always known that this would be how she went: gangbanged to death by skeletons.", "Don’t hypothetically shove stuff up my butt again, it never does any good.", "Lo! A destructed ass.", "Well we were developing common sense, she studied the blade.", "Double Bones with Doctor Skelebone."

House of the First appears to be Earth. I kinda assume the House of the Ninth is Pluto, even though things obviously aren't in order given that the Seventh and Sixth are closer to the sun. Of course, I'm kinda expecting this to not technically be this solar system at all.

Undying Emperor, King of Resurrection, I Have Ten-Thousand Titles, Boss First, etc etc hasn't been on "Earth" in over nine thousand years. I wanna know MORE.

And the fucking Ninth House has their own prayer! Everyone else has one that the Ninth didn't know and then the Ninth had one that no one else knows! GIMME MORE!!!!

Also again, so many Catholicism metaphors or comparisons or whatever!

I could go on forever but gonna end this one with OH MY GOD SHE FOUND SUNGLASSES I LOVE HER. Fucking "I came prepared, my sweet." and "But then you couldn't have admired . . . these!" as she whips on the sunglasses. God. I nearly died.

#The Locked Tomb #tlt #Gideon the Ninth #Cairavende reads The Locked Tomb #Gideon Nav #Harrowhark Nonagesimus #Dulcinea Septimus #This might be the most lesbian thing I've ever read and I've read some pretty fucking lesbian things #Dulcinea might be my favorite so far

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yourheart-inmyhands · 8 months

Note

No need to apologize! I love your works and can't wait for you to continue. Take as much time as you want though. If you see this and are feeling up to it, could I request a Yandere Furina and EI reacting to somebody flirting with their darling? No pressure!

so i technically did this ask already, found here, but i figured i'd answer it again and give it a little redo :D i kept it pretty much the same, i guess you could just see this as an extended version of the previous one :3c

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including violence, mentions of murder, mentions of throwing and breaking furniture, mentions of self-inflicted hair pulling, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Raiden is a lot of things, but a fool is not one. She will not stand around and allow some petty street scum lay hands, eyes, or even words on her beloved. If you act fast enough, you can prevent her from making a very bloodied example of the man before her, if not, i suggest you throw out the clothes you wear, blood stains can be awful to get out.

It had happened in the blink of an eye, or rather, as fast as a flash of lightning. You had been out shopping with Raiden, having requested she take you out to pick up some things you’d placed an order for from a different Nation. Well, it had arrived earlier that week and now that she was free, she had taken you out as requested, you weren’t permitted to go out by yourself. And this was one such reason, some man who worked for the store you ordered from, leaning over the counter making expressions and speaking words far too sweet to just be friendly. Raiden doesn’t take kindly to this. Who does this man think he is? Brazenly flirting with the one individual who his very God has claimed as her own. How foolish. In an instant, with the loud crackle of lightning rupturing eardrums of all those nearby, the man slumps forward onto the counter. “Let’s go home, I’m sure you’re tired.” Raiden makes it a point to address it as if you had caused the problem, something she’ll discuss with you later, but for now she escorts you off as concerned citizens stand frozen in fear.

Yandere!Furina is boiling over with rage, her fists balled tightly at her sides as her nose twitches. She’s fuming, internally set alight as she wants to punch this loser in the face. She’s an Archon though, she can’t do that. Instead she escorts you off, waiting till the two of you get home before unleashing all her frustrations.

She doesn’t blame you, she couldn’t. Someone who shone as brightly as you did was bound to attract many a moth. It's a shame that she enjoyed city walks with you, she hated the way people stared at you. Even as she screams, hands burrowed into her hair as she pulls harshly on the roots, fighting internally against her own anger. She wished she could’ve struck him down where he stood, but she couldn’t. Instead she picks up the nearby lamp and chucks it across the room, imagining it was his head that had just shattered and not the ceramic. Many more pieces of furniture and decorative items fall victim to her rage before she settles enough to be near you, holding your head close to her chest as she whispers about how beautiful you are, hands gently petting the top of your head. Furine certainly had a few screws loose when it came to you, but she always treated you fairly. It wasn’t your fault, you’re ok, it’s ok.

#genshin x reader #genshin x male reader #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin x male reader #raiden x reader #raiden x male reader #yandere raiden x reader #yandere raiden x male reader #furina x reader #furina x male reader #yandere furina x reader #yandere furina x male reader #yandere genshin #yandere raiden #yandere furina

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nextstopparis · 1 year

Note

i really just need good like mid to long length fix recs please i’m begging

hey bestie, i didnt know if you had any specific type of fic in mind or just length and what u consider mid so here are a few fics with 25k+ word counts and thats basically all they have in common🫶 also these are all more or less merthur im so sorry. i hope u find something new here!!!

Arthur, Sincerely by MerlinLikeTheBird (47.8k) (THE FLUFF IN THIS MADE ME CRY also its canon era)

To Begin Anew (need ao3 acc) by ohHeyThereBigBadWolf (27.7k) (ive read this like five times. i think about it constantly. canon divergence)

that lightning-strike feel by TheLurkingContessa (32.5k) (cmon merthur training with weapons together??? also canon era)

An Illusion of Sorts by lordvoldemortsnipple (133.7k) (ive also read this like 3 times which is sorta insane bc its 100k+ words omfg… modern au w magic)

Annum Inanis (The Empty Year) (need ao3 acc) by anonymintea (43.2k) (i DIED. canon era)

Charting Stars On A Stained Glass Ceiling by mornmeril (80k) (my note on ao3 under this is just OHMYGOD a bunch of times so. future au with magic)

a thimble of light for an acre of sky by celaenos (36.2k) (THIS IS NOT MERTHUR well theres like a hint of merthur at the very end but mostly its pendragon siblings and morgwen. I DIED. canon divergence)

Chasing Spring (ok TECHNICALLY this is a series but overall its 58.7k words so) by Gimli_s_Pickaxe (god merlin au do i really need to say anything else. canon era)

Keep the Magic Secret (73.5k) (i feel like i cant say I DIED again or else it’ll start losing its meaning to you but really i did. canon era)

M-RYS by mornmeril (123.2k) (ive also read this three times and was actually just craving a reread yesterday so. hmm. future au with magic)

We Pull These Jobs To Make A Little Money (No One Gets Hurt If They Don’t Act Funny) by leashy_bebes (48.9k) (this fic left me speechless all i could muster in my ao3 notes was “oh my god” not even capitalized like it shook me to my core. modern au)

You’ve Got My Heart, I’ve Got Your Hand by FervidAsAFlame (29.3k) (ive read this about five times it makrs me cry its so sweet i Love Them. modern au)

The Tournament of All Magicks by Cori Lannam (corilannam) (41.3k) (CMONNNN merlin fighting in a TOURNAMENT??? cmon. ohh craving a reread for this one too now… canon era)

The Future Soon by lady_ragnell (30.2k) (i loved this fic so so much. like theres just something about the vibe of it that im obsessed with. could also be the enemies to lovers thing. modern au with magic)

Sweeter Dreams by Tierfal (35.3k) (FREED VIVIAN OF MEN! i mean what more could i want. canon divergence)

Truth Is a Whisper by seperis (25k) (im being so serious go read everything by seperis. everything. GO. FIRST TINTAGEL bc that is my fav fic of all time probably but its 20k words so i couldnt put it here. GO!! theyre my fav author it took EVERYTHING not to rec all their fics. canon divergence)

Accidental Memory in the Case of Death by derryere (74.9k) (theres just something so. So. I DONT KNOW. overwhelming about them in this. its reincarnation au which might be why. one line made me cry)

The Ivy Crown by dayari (derryday) (252.2k) (ive read this three times. look at the word count. i will probably read it again. green knight au thing. theyre just. ohmygod)

Dower the Stars by RurouniHime (40.6k) (LISTEN. actually idek what i can say about this. except for the fact that its the PERFECT FIC. literally. its perfect. im especially in love with arthur and gwens friendship in this but anyway. canon divergence.)

#i sorta just assumed u meant merlin fics omg #BUT IF YOU WANT I ALSO HAVE A FEW KANEJ FICS!#also these are just a few from my bookmarks i have more too #ok well. can u believe this is th e first proper ask ive answered in like a year omg #happy pride xoxoxoxo #bbc merlin #merthur #merthur fic rec #ask

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sirens-sanctuary · 9 months

Text

business casual

. miguel o'hara x fem!reader

. TW: NSFW!, oral (female receiving), pubic sex?,

. the promised fic, i have a few more in the works- also not proofread so except a few typos lol

. masterlist, taglist, rules and a/n below~

. NSFW! below the cut

๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۩ ร𝓲ᖇᵉŇ. ๑۩ ,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۞๑ ๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۩ ร𝓲ᖇᵉŇ. ๑۩ ,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۞๑

you were never really around miguel at the spider society, but you had a crush on him as soon as you saw him. how could you not? well- you could see why no one else would because hes your boss... sort of? hes just kinda the guy in charge around here so like technically if you were to do whatever you wanted to him it wouldnt be bad, lol ok.

you often got lost in these conversations with yourself at your corner in the ss (spider society, i cannot bring myself to type it out every time lmao)

miguel never really paid any mind to you, he appreciated your work around the place but there wasn't anything too special about you...he liked that. you were simple, you weren't difficult to figure out, not difficult to talk to, you weren't complex like the other things he needed to deal with. he liked that. however— he didn't like how you distanced yourself from him, just as you were easy to read it was easy to see you keep your time with him limited. can't have that, he hates that. he wants you, wants to hear you speak. he sees you yap with your friends here at the ss, but you would say only a few words with him.

he has a plan.. nothing extravagant, just a simple, not complex plan.

it was almost the end of the day when all the other spiders left and went home, you were still in your corner, daydreaming about miguel- you couldn't help it. your thoughts were fuddled until your multiversal watch started to beep. you held up your wrist and a little hologram of miguel popped up.. you were surprised to say the least..a little flustered too? you didn't know... i don't either.

miguel said he needed your help with something..strange but ok. you got up from your desk and made your way to his office- floaty thingamajig?– whatever the hell that floating shit is what is that?? you don't know what that thing is and it really doesn't matter.. you were thinking of anything to take your mind off of your impending doom, even if it meant arguing with yourself in your head about useless things..

you finally made it there and stepped into the open space and behold— The floating rock of shit and stuff, and there he was his beautiful muscled back facing towards you. you're lucky he was facing away from you because if he was looking at you, you would've pissed yourself. deadbutt.

how do you let him know you're here without sounding weird? this is hard, talking is hard, shouldn't have to be this hard. You should learn sign language.

"you gonna stand there or come up here and help me?"

Goddamn doesn't he sound beautiful. you don't say anything and web yourself up to his platform. because youre a simple person you made a simple mistake and missed your footing when you landed and almost fell back. almost. miguel grabbed your waist and pulled you back up towards him. he did this slowly, drinking you in with his eyes, slowly dragging them across your figure. his grip on you was heavy and tight. when you were standing upright you took him in as well, god hes just so huge and delicious. you never got opportunities like this, ever. you were never around him long enough to just stare at him and admire him. you guys were staring at each other for a while with his arm, still around you radiating a hot warmth.

you were a simple person, you went with the punches and the rolls so when miguel leaned down and brought your lips in for a kiss you went with it.. not like youd oppose to kissing him anyways. the kiss was slow and steady at first but gradually got more and more intense. sooner or later you were on top of the control panel on his platform. you were trying to keep yourself quiet, little squeaks and whimpers came out of you as miguel nipped down your skin.

he grunted as he ripped open your suit to gain access. you let out a loud gasp and said his name out of shock.

"keep saying my name hermosa, i like it when you say it that way" ("beautiful")

you let out a soft moan as he talked to you, his voice was laced in lust his want for you practically dripping off his tongue. he pushed your panties (oo lala) to the side and slid his finger gently down your wet slit. he let out a short huff, his breath fanning on your heat.

"que linda carino" ("so so pretty darling")

his sweet talk might as well been enough to make you cum. he closed the space between him and your mouth, his tongue and lips working wonders on your clit. you tried your best to keep quiet, biting down on your lip to silence yourself. your hand found its way into miguels hair and you pushed his face further into you causing him to moan. it sent shivers up your spine and made you finally moan out. miguels big hands wrapped around your thighs and he pushed them closed, oh miguel likes to be squished... he looked up at you. this man cant get any prettier, he was soaked in your juices and the light from the orange screens beside you glistened oh so nicely against his skin.

you were done being quiet, miguels feasting got more and more intense there was no point in trying to stay quiet. your legs tightened around his head making him moan and grunt more. his tongue and lips working wonders, hitting all the right places. you threw your head back and let out a very vocal moan, pushing miguels head down. he slurped on your juices loudly and sloppily before getting up off his knees and wiping his mouth clean.

he stared down at you with a proud smirk on his face, he enjoyed staring at you twitch with your blissed out face.

"gotta get you cleaned up, now don't we mi novia?" ("my girl")

๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۩ ร𝓲ᖇᵉŇ. ๑۩ ,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۞๑ ๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۩ ร𝓲ᖇᵉŇ. ๑۩ ,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۞๑

. yes i know it's wednesday, i'm sorry lol i was working on this last weekend and then didn't finish it??? idky but i finished this so i hope it's alright, i'm still getting a bit used to writing smut /~\, erm anyways hope you guys liked it and i used google translate again so idk how accurate the spanish is lolll, i also have a few series i wanna start so stay tuned (if you're willing lmao) for those~♡

. masterlist | rules and fandoms | taglist |

๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۩ ร𝓲ᖇᵉŇ. ๑۩ ,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۞๑ ๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۩ ร𝓲ᖇᵉŇ. ๑۩ ,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۞๑

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athenamikaelson · 4 months

Text

War of Scars - A Luke Castellan Story

PART 1

Thunder Daddy is Real?

Word Count- 3.7k

Warnings- Swearing, blood, gore, fighting, some mature content

“What the actual fuck is a half-blood?”

I scream to Keiko as she grips the steering wheel of the stolen Passat we were now flooring down the vacant back road of New York. Keiko’s short, white-bleached hair stuck up as if she’d just been electrocuted, and a look of concern in her dark eyes as she glanced between both front-view mirrors. I tried to figure out what she was so worried about as I glanced through my passenger seat mirror but was only met with the darkening road. The red cast from the taillights shone a light on the passing forest and trees. The branches from the trees cast shadows over the backroad, a small shiver goes through my back as I imagine that they look like limbs and arms reaching for our car as we drive away. As if begging us not to drive any further. I want to yell to them that I don’t want to go any further either, that I want to go back home. Home to my mother and father, a mother and father that no longer want me I remind myself, and home to my brothers who probably don’t even know I’ve left.

“A half-blood is what you are Y/N.”

Keiko’s words snap my attention back into the car as I turn to her with an annoyed look. I can feel the tips of my nails scratching against the skin of my palms, reading to break the already calloused skin. A nasty habit I picked up a few years ago.

“Ya, that’s what everyone keeps telling me! But that doesn’t answer what the fuck it is!” I can feel the breaking of skin as I dig my nails deeper, trying to ground my feelings and stop another outburst from happening.

“Do you remember all those stories I used to tell you about the Greek Gods and myths?”

Keiko’s eyes briefly meet mine for the first time since I watched her steal this car over 3 hours ago. I think over what she said. The stories about the woman who the goddess Athena turned into a snake lady, and the man who stole fire from the Gods just to give to humans come to mind. I slowly nod my head at her, hoping that this isn’t some psychotic break she’s having because I’m on the verge of having my own right now and this car is already tiny as fuck. Two people freaking the fuck out would not be a good idea.

I watch as Keiko’s chest rises and falls deeply, her ACDC shirt that she had stolen from a lost and found at school stretches at the movement.

“All those stories I told you, about the Gods, Zeus, Posideon, Hades, and all the others,” She turns back to look at me, “they’re all true. And one of them is your biological parent,” Her face scrunches up as she goes back to look at the road, “well technically not biological per se since gods don’t have DNA.”

She goes to continue speaking but stops once I let out a laugh that comes deep from the back of my throat. I watch with scrunched eyes as she stares at me in slight worry I hunch over gripping my stomach as more laughter rises out of my mouth.

“Are you ok?”

Keiko’s worried voice comes from beside me and I sit up and wipe stray tears from my eyes.

“Am I alright? I should be the one asking you that question, you’re the one saying that the almighty thunder daddy Zeus is real, and then saying that one of his buddies is my parent.”

Keiko’s face scrunches up in disgust and she casts a glance to the star-covered sky for some reason.

“You really shouldn’t talk like that, the Gods don’t like to be disrespected.”

Her worried expression halts my jokes as I stare at the now serious face in front of mine. Keiko has never been the one in this friendship to care about following the rules or being scared of anything, she’s the fearless one. So why the hell does she look terrified at the talk of a bunch of fictional deities?

“Ok, Kio the joke was funny for the first five minutes but I want the truth now. Why did my parents kick me out after saying I’m not theirs and that you’d know what to do?”

I try to cover up the slight break in my voice at the mention of my parents, or adopted parents I guess, telling me that after 18 years I wasn’t theirs. Flashes of my caring mother holding me when I was a child telling me that I was a gift to her, that she would never let anything happen to me. Was all of that some sick lie?

“Y/N listen to me,” Keiko catches my attention, “I’m not lying to you. Your mother or father is a god. A Greek god. Which makes you a half-blood, half mortal half god. And because of this, it means being out here in the mortal world is going to get you killed. I was sent here, as your satyr to protect you until the time came where I’d take you to camp. I’m not sure why it’s taken this long for the monsters to catch up to you, most of the time half-bloods are brought to camp around 12. But you being 18 brings up some questions. I think your parent is a smaller god that’s why there hasn't been much focus on you.”

I can feel my mouth start to dry up from the air entering my now-opened mouth. I’ve been staring at Keiko with wide eyes the entire time she's been going on about gods and death and shit. She must have noticed my lack of response because she stopped talking and looked at me. Her serious expression brings a wave of anger through my system which is the final breaking point for the palms as my nails break skin and a warm liquid coats my nails.

“Stop the car.”

Three words are all I say to her as I unbuckle my seat belt.

“What?”

I turn to Keiko, my teeth grinding against one another.

“Stop the goddamn car. I’m done being lied to. My parents have lied to me my entire life and now my so-called best friend is making fun of my shitty life with made-up fairytales. So stop the fucking car or I’ll jump out myself.”

“I’m not stopping, we can’t if we want to make it to camp as soon as possible. And we’re going,” Keiko glances at the speedometer, “64 miles per hour. If you jump out of the car now you’ll die.”

I look out of the forest and think of all that has happened in the past 12 hours.

“It’s not like I have anything to lose. I’d rather be mangled and dead than sit in this car with you, driving to god knows where, while you tell me a bunch of lies.”

I hear a deep sigh come from Keiko and wait a moment to hear whatever bullshit she’s about to start spewing at me but it never comes. Instead, I feel the car start to accelerate, and a few words in an unknown language spill from her mouth.

“Put your seatbelt on.”

Keiko’s voice comes out harsh and deadly as I watch her grip the worn steering wheel. Her frantic gaze moves from the back of us to the dark road ahead.

“I’m not putting my seatbelt on, just stop the car already.”

I try to argue back at her but she just lets out a huff of air and reaches over the center console of the car, grabs my seatbelt, and snaps it back into place. I watch her with wide eyes at the fucking audacity of the bitch. I go to yell at her but she raises a single finger at me, just like a mother who’s had enough of her child talking would.

“We’re being followed.”

Her dark eyes move frantically all over the place as if she sees something I don’t. Ok, maybe she is losing her mind. Fuck now I feel like an asshole.

“Listen Keiko maybe we should just take some deep breaths and talk this through. Cause it seems like right now some of us are going a bit crazy. And by some of us, I don’t mean me.”

I lightly raise a finger and point at her. I go to laugh at my joke but the car jolts forward as if we’d just got rear-ended.

“What the-”

“It’s right there shit!”

Keiko slams her leg onto the gas pedal but it doesn’t seem to do much help as another hit comes from behind us. My long legs bang against the dash of the car as I look behind us trying to figure out what asshat doesn’t know how to drive, but I freeze when I see nothing there. No headlights, no cars, nothing. We’re the only ones on the road.

“There you see it! You see I’m not lying! I can’t tell what creature it is but it’s big and has wings so that crosses out giants, thankfully.”

Kieko glances between the front and me and her face falls once she reads my features.

“What?”

“What do you mean what? There is nothing there.”

I turn to the back of the car and point to the vacant road behind us. Keiko turns around and her eyebrows raise.

“No, it was right there.”

But as she turns back around to face the front, I jump from the loud yelp that escapes her lips as she appears to see something before us on the road. Something I can’t seem to see. What I don’t see coming either is the tight right turn Keiko makes to miss the invisible “creature.” I grasped onto the passenger side door and turned wide-eyed to her. About to yell at her when the driver’s side of the car is lifted and I feel my heart fall to my ass as I watch the trees that were once reaching and calling for me, get their wish as the car is thrown into the woods.

“Y/N, come wake up, Y/N!”

I hear muffled voices come from above me as cold winds envelop me. I must be in heaven, God must be calling for me. I try to open my eyes but the overwhelming pressure in my head urges me to keep them closed for just five more minutes. I’m about to give in to the thought when a sharp pressure hits the side of my cheek, shocking me awake.

I abruptly sit up but quickly regret it when a pounding pain comes from every part of my body. My eyes can’t seem to register my dark surroundings either as more pain enters my frontal lobe.

“I’m sorry I did that but I need you to get up, I don’t know where the chimera is, but I can feel it’s close.”

Kieko, that’s Kieko. My brain tries to get me to register her words but the throbbing in my head is halting any thought process from going on. Another wave of red pain goes through my body as I feel an arm wrap itself around my waist and lift me.

“Do you think you can walk?”

A voice asks me. No, not a voice, Kieko’s voice. Kieko is talking to me. I try to shake my head as if to fight away the overwhelming urge to close my eyes and lay down and sleep for the foreseen future.

“Get up and walk”.

A voice comes into my head. Why does my subconscious sound so manly and bossy? But I listen to it as I feel my feet try to move one after the other. The overwhelming pressure coming from my entire body though makes it feel as if I’m dragging two cinderblocks on each leg.

“OK, good. We’re about a mile from camp I think if I got my constellations correct.”

I finally can get my eyes open as I stare at Kieko beside me. If I wasn’t feeling like absolute dogshit right now I’d laugh at the image of her short body leaning awkwardly to the side trying to carry my taller one. I try to lean off of her slightly to give her help but her grip tightens on me.

“Don’t, you got banged up pretty hard in the accident. I thought I had lost you for a moment there, but it was my mistake for thinking you’d ever let death take you this young or without your approval.”

Kieko lets out a small laugh which quickly turns into a cough as she winces in pain.

“Are you hurt?”

My voice comes out strained and rough, like an old woman who’s been smoking since she was 13 years old. Kieko just shakes her head and picks up the pace of her walking.

“Just a few scratches, nothing as bad as you. We need to move faster though I can sense the chimera getting closer. The smell of your blood is making it easier for it to track us.”

My face scrunches up at the words. I want to argue to her that there’s no creature out there hunting us and that she is just having a psychotic break but once I feel the cold metallic-smelling liquid move down my face as if it was caressing it, I stay quiet.

We continue to walk for what seems like hours, or well Kieko walks and I latch on to her and get dragged. I don’t know where the hell she’s going but I have no other choice but to go with her. I lurch forward as Kieko abruptly stops. Her heading whipped around us like a mad woman.

“Did you hear that?”

She whispers into my ear. I shake my head in response. And we stand there for a moment before she tightens her hold on me and starts to walk again. Her hand around my waist quickly detaches and I can only watch in what seems like slow motion as she is thrown against a neighboring tree. A sickening crack comes from her body as I watch it fall to the ground. I go to run to her a roar turns my attention to behind me. I can feel my heart beat erratically as I slowly turn to the monstrous being behind me. With a body that must stand above 10 feet tall, a lion stands before me. Wait. No. Not a lion. Defiantly not a lion.

Acidic bile starts to make its way up my throat as my eyes meet the red beady eyes of a goat, a goat that is protruding from the lion's back. A hissing sound catches my attention as I slowly turn my gaze to the python that has replaced the lion goat’s tail.

As I stare at the creature I want to pass out. Or maybe I’m already asleep and this is some bad nightmare. But as the lion-goat-snake thing takes a step toward me, with its paws that rival the size of my big head I use whatever strength I have left and run. If I can lead it away from Kieko that's all that matters.

I don’t have to worry about it not following me as I hear the thundering footsteps catch up behind me. I try to dodge tree after tree, jumping over fallen logs, and feel my sneakers imprint into the mud that has started to form from the light downfall of rain that has started to coat myself and the forest.

I go to turn right, the downpour of the rain falling harder and blocking much of my already shitty vision. But a burst of heat and flames come from behind me hitting the trees to my right. I whip my head around to see smoke coming from the lion-goat-snake thing and curse to myself. Of course, it can breathe fire too. I try to go to my left but a searing pain catches on my back as I drop to the ground.

I lift myself on my elbows as I watch the monster lift its large paw and lick the red liquid off of its nails as if it were mocking me. Its eyes glint with malice as the goat lets out a strangled noise.

“We’re a gift from Athena.”

A strangled hiss comes from the snake's mouth.

I go to close my eyes and just accept my fate but stop when my manly subconscious chimes in again.

“Get up and fight, you’re a warrior. Grab the stick next to you and fight back. Make it bleed. If it can bleed it can be killed.”

God, when did I become so melodramatic? But I realize manly me is right, if I die this thing will go back for Keiko. The monster continues its prowl toward me as I keep eye contact with it. Hoping it doesn’t see my right hand that has grasped onto the stick by my side. I wait until the lion opens its mouth, probably to light me on fucking fire and that’s when I strike.

I lift myself onto my knees and lurch forward with the stick in my hand and as the lion opens its ginormous mouth and I see the start of embers begin to light in its throat I stab the stick right down into it. I loud howl of pain comes from the creature as it tries to dislodge the stick that is now protruding from its mouth. I watch for another moment as the goat and the snake move around frantically trying to help their injured creature. But I know if they do succeed in getting that out I’m fucked so I push myself up with a hiss. The overwhelming smell of blood coming from my back, the more I move the harsher the pull and pain. But I'm not letting the ugly motherfucker be my demise.

I come up from behind the creature, which is now facing away from me with its entire focus on dislodging the stick, and I leap onto its back. The goat and the snake are the only ones to notice my arrival as they start hissing and making whatever strange noise the goat is making. I grab onto the fur of the creature to keep myself upright and I grasp the snake into my hands. It thrashes in my hands, its cool slimy body almost making me drop it as I try to wrap the snake around the goat's throat. I pull in the opposite direction with all my weight as the hissing constricts until I hear the crack of the goat's neck. The strangled snake and the now dead goat have caught the attention of the lion who has finally dislodged the stick and has now noticed me.

The lion roars so deeply that it makes my body shake. I would almost feel bad for killing its friends/body sharers if it wasn’t trying to y’know fucking kill me. The lion stands to its full height and starts to thrash its body as a means to get me off. I quickly grasp the curled horns of the goat as a means of stabilization. But as the thrashing gets harsher I hear a sharp snap as I’m thrown against yet another tree.

Bark scratches up my already bloody back as I let out a loud wail. The rain from before crashing down all around me thunder shakes the earth and forest and lightning strikes a nearby tree. But my attention is fully on the lion who has now started its attack on me. I can sit there as I lift my hands to protect my face as the lion comes rushing at me.

I sit there drenched, cold, and bloody waiting for my demise, but nothing comes. I slowly open one eye and flinch as I see the lion staring at me. But it’s not moving. It’s not breathing either. Its once hatred-filled eyes are now glossed over with death. My gaze goes from its haunting eyes to its chest where the goat horn I had cracked off is now lodged into the lion's heart. Red liquid coated my hands as I loosened my grip on the horn and backed away from the dead creature.

“How did you do that?”

I thrash my head to the side grabbing the horn a second time in defense. I halt though when I see Keiko holding herself up against a tree. Blood trickles down her whitening skin as she looks at the monster in awe and slight disgust. She pushes off the tree and starts to walk to me but her knees lock up and she falls to the ground. I push myself back up quickly and crawl to her.

“Are you ok?”

I quickly ask her, wiping away the blood that has now made its way onto her eyebrows. Keiko sends me an unreadable look.

“How did you kill the Chimera?”

I go to answer, but a shock of lightning comes down between us. The only thing I can focus on is the scorching pain that has taken over my body and left arm. My vision goes black as I feel my heart start to give out.

“We need a medic.” A strained voice yells from beside me. Or is it coming from behind me? I can’t tell. All I can focus on is the searing pain that has taken over my being, I can’t seem to focus on the campers running over to me and Kieko, I can’t hear any more of Keiko's cries for help, and I don’t feel the muscular arms wrap around my body as I feel my heart start to slow down again, everything going back to dark.

“I think she’s waking up!”

A loud girlish voice comes from beside me.

“That’s what you said two days ago.”

Another more annoyed voice talks back. I strain to open my eyes as light crashes against my burning pupils. But I do I open them enough to look up to see dark brown eyes staring down at my Y/E/C ones.

“Welcome to Camp Half-Blood Sleeping Beauty.”

#luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan pjo #luke castellan imagine #pjo series #percy jackon and the olympians #annabeth chase #grover underwood #pjo #percy jackson #camp half blood #percy series #author #athenamikaelson #percy jackson tv show

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starry-eyes-love · 9 months

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Chapter 4: Please, I need you

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader (18+, Minors DNI), Post-outbreak

Summary | The night after Joel has his panic attack he tries to fall asleep across the hall from where you two had been staying together. After tossing and turning he eventually slips into a deep dream where he finally gets what he wants, you, but he finds himself being woke up by your when it gets to the good part. With his mind racing and his body throbbing, he does the one thing that he knows he shouldn’t, promises to be in a relationship with you.

Warnings | 18+, minors DNI. Smut (from a dream, p in v sex), language, sexual references and tension, tender Joel, possessive Joel, sweet name calling (honey, baby, sugar, Angel, etc.), age gap, no use of y/n, slight descriptions of body type (dream like state), pining, slight pressure of sex (respect people’s boundaries), tad bit of fluff and angst.

Word Count: 6.8

“Come on baby, I know you're still mad at me, but let me make it up to ya, m’kay?" he said pleading with you. "Come on sugar, just a little bit more” Joel begged as he kept trying to undo your pants while expertly rubbing in-between your legs with his clothed thigh.

Joel's POV

Joel tosses and turns, he can't get comfortable on the mattress. He tries sleeping on the floor, tries sleeping on the bed, tries sleeping with his back against the wall, but nothing works. The problem is, he's not next to you. He doesn't feel your back tight against him or your arms draped around him. He's too warm, then he’s too cold. The surface is either too soft or too hard. God, he needs to get some sleep, or he ain't gonna be shit tomorrow for helping you learn how to shoot a bow.

As he lays there awake he keeps thinking and wondering if you’re doing ok. If you're warm enough, if you can't sleep without him either. Fuck it, he thinks to himself, I can just go in there to see if she's asleep, and if she's not then I'll sit down and help calm her down to get her to sleep, Joel thinks to myself. Before he can talk himself out of it he's up and moving quietly across the hall to check on you. Standing next to the bed he sees that you're fast asleep in a deep slumber. He stands there in awe looking at you. He doesn't think he's ever seen you this relaxed or deep in sleep, usually you're sleeping with one eye open like he does. I can't wake her, he thinks, she looks too damn peaceful. So he grabs the blanket that is tucked next to you and drapes it over your body. He then leans down and gently kisses your cheek while saying quietly "sleep soundly, my Angel." When he’s done, he walks down the hall to check on Ellie and finds her in the same position, sleeping soundly. He stands there for a moment admiring her soft features and once again he tucks her in and whispers as he kisses her cheek “sleep soundly kiddo.” Joel then returns to his bedroom, but leaves the door open in case one of his girls need him, in case you need him.

Joel tries to go back to sleep, but he keeps tossing and turning in bed. When he falls asleep he only falls asleep for a few moments before jerking awake again. Get it together man he thinks to himself rubbing a hand down his face. He’s tired and exhausted, worried about the safety of everyone, especially about you. He doesn’t like the distance you have put between the two of you. He hates to see how withdrawn you have been with him, almost afraid of getting close to him, as if he’s going to hurt you. And he has, he has hurt you emotionally considerably and he hates himself for it. He has never wanted to hurt you, make you doubt his heart or caring attitude for you. But living in survival does something to a man, it makes him rough and hard on the outside. Makes him have to be strong and determined to protect what belongs to him. No, you don’t technically belong to him but goddamnit, he’s going to make sure you are taken care of in life and not going without if he can help it.

The longer he lays there the more he thinks about you and the life you two have had together. He thinks back to the QZ and him helping you get enough money to get out of the situation with David. That fucking asshole he thinks to himself. The way David hurt you, the way he harmed you boils fire in his veins and makes him feel protective over you in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time. Get it together man he whispers to himself, ain’t no use thinking about that shit, it’s in the past and it ain’t gonna fix things now. He knows he needs to fix things with you, to get you to trust him once again and be his in every possible way.

He gently turns onto one side and stares out of his room in the dark to watch you sleep. He focuses on the gentle rise and fall of your breaths to help ease the tension in his muscles and in his back. You are safe and sound he tells himself. As Joel lays there he keeps watching you breathe, and it slowly lulls him into being relaxed and Joel quickly finds himself drifting off into a deep dream…

Joel's Dream State

Joel had pulled up in his pickup truck outside of your house in Austin to pick you up for a date. There was no end of the world, no outbreak, and his baby girl (Sarah) was still alive and healthy at 12 years old. This summer was an incredibly warm and busy summer for him. He was working all the time, trying to expand his business, Miller Contracting. You two had been dating for a while and recently you had gotten into a horrible argument because he wasn’t able to spend time with you.

Summer free time was something that he rarely had this year and any free-time he did happen to have was either spent with his daughter, or was spent working on expanding his business. Joel was a single father, his ex-wife Teesh (short for Theresa) was in the picture with having partial custody of Sarah every other weekend. On the weekends Sarah was with Teesh he tried to spend with you, but lately he wasn’t able to because of an extra contract he took for building a garage for some guy across town. Dating wasn’t something Joel was very used to doing, as he hadn’t done it in over 5 years, but he was trying to do it with you.

The one time this summer that he did plan on spending with you he accidentally fell asleep and forgot to show up for your date to which you got upset and slammed the door in his face the next morning when he showed up to apologize. He tried calling, tried stopping by your work, tried sending you flowers, but you were hurt and upset and he understood why. Finally after a few weeks of trying to get you to talk to him you had agreed on another date with him, and this time he didn’t want to mess it up.

“Wow darlin’ you look beautiful” Joel said as he watched you walk down the stone path from your house to his truck. You were wearing his favorite yellow floral summer dress that landed just above your knees. Your hair was long and set into loose waves that cascaded gently down your back, several inches below your shoulders. The dress you wore fit you nicely, showing and accentuating every curve that you had. Seeing you come down the stone path gave a shock of adrenaline into his already aching cock. With being busy, he hadn’t had the time to properly take care of himself, let alone take care of you and he hated himself for it. You were gorgeous at 25 and he was a 37 year old man, though some days he felt like he was 53 with how his body responded.

“Thanks, Cowboy” was all you said as you climbed into his pickup truck, a nickname that you had given him several months ago when he wore cowboy boots out on a date with you.

As Joel continued to dream he found himself laughing and smiling in the date with you. He took you to all of your favorite places in Austin, but he really didn’t remember what they were called or everything that you talked about in his dream-like state. Joel’s mind only focused on your body and your smile, feeling carefree with him and laughing with him. Suddenly Joel’s mind fast forwarded to his bedroom. You were lying on your back in his bed where Joel made out with you like you both were a bunch of teenagers. He was also rubbing one of his legs in-between your thighs, rubbing it up and down into your aching heat, hearing you give off little whimpers at the sensation. When Joel reached for the button of your jeans to unbutton them you had slapped his hand away saying “‘M-still mad at you,” but you continued to kiss his neck and lips.

“Joel, quit it, I said I didn’t want to do that” you said trying to hold onto the last bit of dignity you had with being mad at him. But when Joel started to nip your neck you heard yourself say outloud “Joel, oh-fuck- that- that feels good. Fuck- please.” As soon as you let out a low moan Joel switched and put you fully on your back where he laid in-between your legs. He continued to nip and suck on your neck while he expertly ground his rock hard bulge into your clothed and soaking wet heat until you were begging him to not stop.

You were so desperate for him to touch you, but you were trying to prove a point to him that he couldn’t just use sex as a way for you to forgive him. But goddamn it, you were so horny and wanting your boyfriend bad again. “Please Joel- baby please” you said in-between whimpers.

“Please, what darlin’? What do ya need, honey?" Joel quietly whispered in your ear as he continued to nip your neck. The next thing you knew both of you had ripped off your clothes and Joel was fully sheathed into you and was fucking you hard while whispering, “Goddamn baby, you’re so fuckin’ tight for me. Yeah, does my baby like it, like taking my cock like this. God woman, this pussy was made for me.”

Joel continued to whisper filthy words into your ear, telling you how good you felt, how much you were made to take him, and how much he loved being inside of you and being with you. He was pounding into you so hard that his headboard kept hitting the wall with each hard thrust he was doing. He was so deep inside of you, hitting your cervix with each hard snap of his hips, filling you in every way possible that no one else could ever do with you. “God baby, I can’t get enough of this pussy. You’re so perfect for me Angel, so fucking perfect” he said as he picked up the pace while chasing his high, moaning loud as his eyes rolled back into his head. He felt the heat travel up his spine, the knot form so hard in his stomach, moaning loud with each brutal thrust he was doing, he was two seconds from blowing his load deep within your walls when he felt it…

“Joel. Joel, wake up. Come on, wake up” you said sternly to him as you shook him violently awake. His eyes snapped open and he whispered your name. As he slowly came down from that high he was chasing in his dream and back down to reality, back to the cabin in the middle of the woods after the outbreak. It was then that he realized that everything that was happening with you begging for him was all just a dream. He was having just a dream, and God he wanted it to be true. He wanted to be your boyfriend fucking you the way he was in that dream so damn much.

As realization hit him that he was just dreaming he slowly closed his eyes and let out a long exhale along with saying in a low and raspy voice “what do ya want?” As he waited for your response he slowly rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and allowed his senses to fully take over again back to reality and the life you two were living now. When you didn’t answer him right away, he looked around and then sighed as he sat up in bed saying “what’s up darlin’, why did ya shake me awake?”

When you saw that Joel was relaxed and asking you why you had woken him up, you felt really stupid. You had been laying there in your bed across the hallway for some time, tossing and turning in bed. You had dozed off for a bit, but then had a horrible nightmare where you felt like you were left alone in this world, and no one was there for you anymore. It was the same nightmare that came with the one with Dave, an old boyfriend of yours, and the night that Joel saved you. You had heard Joel moaning in his sleep and figured he was having the same nightmare of the night Sarah died, but at seeing him so relaxed now you figured he was having a different sort of dream, one that you could no longer have.

When Joel didn’t hear you answer him, he reached down and lifted your chin gently upwards while saying “you had a nightmare again didn’t ya?” You quietly and slowly shook your head yes. “Same one or different one sweetheart?” he asked.

“Uh- the sa-same one” you sniffled as the images of what happened came flooding back into your head. “I um- I heard you moaning and thought you were having one too and I- I- I couldn’t sleep and was-” you struggled to get out your sentence as your voice shook and started to crack with pain at the memory you were recalling with Dave.

“Come here darlin” Joel said pulling you onto the bed and tucking you on your side close to him. He slowly wrapped his hands around you, tucked you tight against his chest, with one leg in-between yours while resting his head on top of your head. This was the same position the two of you had been in countless times while sharing a sleeping bag together. You two were practically physically attached to each other but he knew this was the only way to quiet those nightmares, something he learned back at the QZ when you stayed with him that first night, the night the nightmares showed up.

“Darlin’ ya need to relax, ok. Baby, he ain’t ever gonna hurt ya again, you hear me? I made sure of it, didn’t I? He’s gone and not coming back” Joel said while slowly rubbing soothing strokes up and down your back with his hand as your body kept giving aftershocks of tremors due to your nightmare.

“I know Joel. It’s just that I was scared and couldn’t sleep. Then I heard you moaning and I thought you were having a nightmare too” you said slowly into his chest.

Joel froze at the mention of you hearing him moan. When he felt you stiffen against him, he took a steadying breath and said “that moanin’ wasn’t from a nightmare darlin'.”

“Uh- Joel, what was-” you stuttered trying to find a way to ask what his dream was about.

“Doesn’t matter baby, it just wasn’t from a nightmare, okay. I’m fine and you're fine too” he said tenderly.

After you didn’t respond verbally to him, he eventually felt you curl inward more within his arms, making yourself feel small. He knew you only did this when you were upset about something, or stressing about something. So with a long exhaled sigh he asked you “darlin’, what’s the matter?”

When you didn’t respond right away to him, he nudged you slightly as a way of encouraging you to open up and speak your mind of what was bothering you. When you didn’t respond again he gave you a slight warning stating “I asked ya a question didn’t I? Now don’t make me repeat myself again sweetheart.”

You quickly replied “oh, I can’t ya know. Do those types of dreams anymore. I’m- I’m sorry for waking you and interrupting you with-”

“It’s okay sweetheart, I don’t mind,” he said softly.

“Was it about Tess or about your ex, or maybe a girlfriend before outbreak day. I uh-could let you get back to sleep to see if”

Joel interrupted you and said “ain’t none of those people honey.”

“Oh” you said in a meek voice. “Um- oh. Ok. Yeah, I mean if it’s someone new or-” you glanced up at Joel and saw that he was looking down at you with his eyebrow raised. When you looked into his eyes pleading with him to tell you, wanting him to say it was you in that dream more than anything as you couldn’t muster up the courage to open your mouth and officially ask him who it was.

After Joel watched a multitude of emotions run across your face, he finally exhaled and said “baby, I”

“Joel, it’s okay” you said while interrupting him, trying to keep it together while talking to him about this. “You don’t have to, ya know, if ya don’t- what I mean is. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I’ll just leave you alone and you can go back to-”

“Not happenin’ darlin’. You ain’t going nowhere, ya hear me.” he snapped at you as you tried to get up and leave while pulling up those hardened masks the world has forced you to create as a way of coping with life. As you started to get up Joel grabbed your hip harder and squeezed while saying with a low warning of a growl “don’t you dare fucking move little girl. I said you are staying right here” and he slowly pushed his hand into your lower back to slightly rub you up against his bulge in his pants. As you looked at him you saw his eyes go dark, like a predator who had just spotted his prey. This look used to make you freeze and be scared, but now it has the opposite effect on you. Now you get incredibly turned on by his possessiveness. And as soon as you felt him and how hard he was your breath hitched in your throat in response as you said “Joel, you’re ah-”

“Hard? Yes darlin’ I am” he said while staring at you and pushing you a little closer into him.

You didn’t know what was up with Joel tonight, of why he was so forward with you right now. Sex dreams did happen occasionally, and you usually knew when he’d get them when you two shared a sleeping bag as you’d wake up to him mumbling in his sleep and slowly thrusting into you still asleep. But usually once he awoke where all of his senses could take hold of him, he’d go back to being stern, closed off Joel. But not tonight. Tonight you had no idea what was with him as this was something he never did, flirted and was being honest with you. You didn’t know why, but honestly you didn’t care. You were so turned on by him right now that you were practically soaked through your panties and you wondered what he’d say to you if you were just as honest and straightforward as he was. To hell with it, you thought, let’s see if he likes it a little rough verbally back.

“Oh good” you said to Joel. “I’m glad you’re not the only one turned on, makes me feel better knowing you-”

“You turned on too sweetheart?” he said with a slight smirk to his lips. “I thought ya said ya had a bad nightmare?” Joel knew he was playing with fire and that he shouldn’t indulge you and your little game right now, but damn it he was frustrated. He hadn't relieved himself in ages again, not able to get alone enough to release that tension properly. And in his dream he was about two seconds from blowing his load deep inside of you and because you woke him up, he was horny and kinda pissed off at you for not letting him finish in his mind. But right now he was aching so damn bad at the thought of you being wet and needy for him. He was so turned on that each time you moved or talked he felt his dick twitch hard within his pants and he was slowly losing all of his self control with you yet again.

You contemplated your options while looking at Joel’s smug smirk on his face, deciding that you’d play along just to see how far he’d go, because the truth was you were aching for him to be inside you once again. With a smirk on your face you leaned in and whispered in his ear “yes Joel, I’m turned on right now. I’m practically drenched through my pants and I want to touch myself so fucking bad right now that it hurts.”

When you pulled back to look at Joel you noticed his eyes were completely black, and then you saw a devilish smirk filter across his face as he said “How ‘bout that. Ya soakin’ right through those panties, huh?" Then he leaned closer and whispered in your ear "Honey, I don’t believe you.”

You were a tad pissed that Joel didn't believe you, or that he was challenging you so you quipped “What, are you-”

“Show me darlin," he quickly said. "Show me how soaked you are."

You cocky bastard you thought to yourself. So with as much courage as you could muster you took his hand and put it to the outside of your pajamas for a moment and then slowly dragged your hand up your clothed heat, where he could feel the wetness on the outside of your pants. You shook slightly when you got up to your clit, circled his hand a moment and then dragged it back down to where you were drenching your pajama pants. This wetness all came from imaging Joel having a dream where he was fucking someone. When Joel felt how wet you were his eyes rolled back in his head and he said “fuck” in a low growl.

“Who were you dreaming of Joel” you say with more confidence behind your words, even though you truly didn’t feel it. You slowly kept dragging Joel’s hand up your slit, lightly circling your clit and then back down your slit to feel the wetness continuing to pool there on the outside of your pants. Joel, with his eyes still closed said in a clipped tone “you know the fuck who I was dreamin’ about.”

“Say it Miller, or I don’t believe you” you quip back at him, giving him the same challenge that he just gave you moments ago while pulling his hand away from you. As soon as you pulled your hand away he snapped open his eyes and starred at you. While looking into his stone cold eyes you felt a switch flip in your head, something that caused your sex drive to go through the roof. What you didn't know was the same switch flipped in Joel's head. He has always thought you were sexy as hell. But turning the tables so quickly on him and challenging him like you just did, it did something to him. It made him think that maybe you could survive in this world much better than he anticipated. That you could truly be his equal in survival in every way, that you weren’t weak, and that you could handle yourself. And truthfully, that was the biggest turn on for him as he’s never seen anyone challenge him with that much confidence in their voice.

Looking straight in your eyes he said one word sternly and that word was “You.” He watched your breath hitch in your throat and felt you shift your weight to squeeze together your thighs to relieve a bit of tension there. With a smirk, he added “I was about 2 seconds away from having the best fucking orgasm of my goddamn life when you shook me awake.”

“What were we, uh- what were we-”

“Doing?” he said as he finished your sentence for you. You nodded slowly in confirmation at him, wanting him to say it outloud.

“Well darlin’” he said while moving you onto your back and hooking your legs around his waist, “we were laying on the bed like this and I was fucking you deep and hard like this.” As soon as he said the word ‘this’ you felt him snap his hips into you hard and grind into your clothed heat.

“You were in my bedroom back in Austin and I was fuckin’ you so hard my headboard was slamming against the wall” he said while he kept snapping his hips into you and grinding hard into you that you were starting to moan his name slightly as you felt that familiar tension build into your belly once again.

“You were moaning out my name darlin’, begging me to not stop, to come inside that perfect little pussy of yours” he said while holding your wrists above your head as leverage as he rutted hard against you again like an animal in heat. He felt your legs quiver and knew you were a few thrusts from tipping over the edge yourself.

“And right before we tipped over the edge, you fucking woke me up” he said as he stopped and pulled away from you. Your eyes snapped open and you watched him devilishly smirk at you. Out of frustration you went to smack him hard across the face again, but this time he caught your hand mid air and slammed it hard on the bed saying “na ah, not this time darlin’. You ain’t slapping me again sweetheart.” You looked at him seething, hating him and the smirk he had on his face as he said “what’s the matter honey, frustrated that you didn’t get to come?” he says with a laugh.

“Fuck you Joel” you snap at him “don’t be fucking cruel.”

“Don’t be cruel? Don’t be cruel? What the fuck do you call this huh?” he says while rocking into you so you feel his rock hard bulge throbbing against you. “You wake me up while I’m sleeping, you know I haven’t slept in days darlin’ and you just go and wake me outta one of the sexiest and best fucking dreams of my life just to do what?”

“I thought you were having a nightmare” you bite back at him.

“A nightmare. Why the fuck did you think I was having a nightmare?” Joel snaps at you while he feels his dick twitch against his pants.

“Cause you were moaning in your sleep Joel, and you mumbled ‘please baby don’t, don’t do this to me.’ And I thought-”

It was then that Joel’s mind raced to one thought, the thought of Sarah, of his baby girl dying. You thought he was having his usual nightmare about Sarah, about the day he lost her. Joel immediately let go of your hands and sat up in a seated position a few feet back from you while running a hand through his hair and said “no baby, I wasn’t having a nightmare about Sarah. It was you” he said, looking over at you.

“Me?” you question him now sitting up in a seated position yourself. “You were having a nightmare about me, how? Why? What?-”

“No, not a nightmare honey,” he said. “It was just a dream. It was just a really good fucking dream, a dream about you.”

When you continued to look at him puzzled he added “You, ah. You wouldn’t kiss me, or let me touch you and I-”

“Why wouldn’t I let you touch me?” you say with concern. You weren’t understanding how this could be a dream, a good dream when it sounded like a nightmare to you, because you wanted nothing more than to touch Joel badly in real life, if he’d let you.

“Doesn’t matter darlin’, it was just a dream” Joel says shaking his head at you.

“No Joel, I wanna know why. Why do you think I wouldn’t want you to touch me?”

“Cause you were mad at me for what I did” he says. “I was workin’ all the time and raising Sarah and fell asleep instead of showing up on a date, and-” his voice cracks at the memory of the dream, of trying to get you to take him back. He takes a minute in real life to remind himself that it was just a dream and gives himself a second to pull back the tears that he felt were stinging behind his eyes at the thought of you not wanting to be with him because he hurt you. That he wasn’t good enough.

As if you could sense his turmoil in his head you said “Joel, honey, look at me. I would never get mad at you like that, especially for spending time with your baby girl. Sure I would miss you but baby, you gotta believe me I would never in a million years be mad at you for being a single father to your-”

“Doesn’t matter cuz it was just a dream and it ain’t nothin’ that is ever gonna happen cause we, she’s-” Joel says with venom laced in his voice at the painful reminder that Sarah is no longer with him.

“Don’t” you say sternly at him as he turns away from you as the tears threatened to spill from his eyes at the painful reminder that his little girl is gone and that the world is different.

When Joel refuses to listen and pulls away from you, starting to shut you out again with his cold exterior coming back into place you reach out to him trying to center him but he won’t have it. He stands up to leave again, to walk away and close himself off from the world and you are sick of it so you snap back at him saying “Joel, dammit, I said look at me."

When he finally stops and looks back at you you say with a stern voice "don’t you dare tell me that I would never fall in love with you now, or not find you attractive now. Jesus Joel, what do I have to do to show you that I fucking care about you and want you, huh? Stand on my goddamn head?"

With a sigh he says “darlin’ you just saying that cause I’m the only one you got. Look I’m-”

“You’re 53, yeah I get that” you say with sarcasm. “You have salt and pepper hair, you have bad knees, a bad back, scars on your body and you haven’t been in a long term relationship for a very long time. Yeah I get it old man. But when are you gonna get it that I don’t care about any of that shit. I don’t care if you're older. In fact, Joel. I’ve always liked older men, much older men than me. So get over yourself with your age bit, ya hear me? The only problem I see that you have is your damn hearing cause you don’t ever listen to me on this” you say while walking up to him and starring him straight into the eyes.

Joel just stands there for a moment amazed at your ability to stand up to him and run your mouth off at him. With a small chuckle he shakes his head gently and says “yeah darlin’ ya probably right on the hearing bit.”

“No Joel, I know I am right, cause you never listen” you say with a shake to your head. Softly you then say “look, I like you, a lot. And I want you, a lot. Not because you are the only person here, but because you are someone I find attractive. I get it if you’re not interested in me and-”

“Don’t” he says sternly while looking at you. “Don’t you even fucking think for a goddamn moment that I don’t find you sexy as hell darlin’. That’s my problem, I want you so goddamn bad that I can’t think straight half of the time and I just" he pauses, trying to find the words to convey how he feels. After a moment he says "I just don’t want ya to be uncomfortable, ya know. I don’t know how to love half assed” and with that admittance he huffs and looks up at the ceiling.

“Yeah, well neither do I Joel" you say while shaking your head. "You were the first guy that saw me and treated me with respect. Hell you saved me from Dave when he- when I almost-” you hear your voice break for a second at the memory of what Dave did to you.

“Come here” Joel says tenderly as he pulls you into his chest and wraps his arms around you holding you close. “Shh darlin’, ya don’t gotta worry about him anymore. I took care of it, remember?” he says while rubbing soothing circles on the skin of your back. When you finally slow and quiet your breathing, you look back up to Joel’s eyes and notice that he is looking down at you with affection as a small smile lifts up at the corners of his mouth.

“There’s my pretty girl, so beautiful” he says as he brushes your hair from your face. He slowly leans in, caressing your cheek with his thumb while saying “not ever gonna let anything bad happen to ya baby, ok?” and then he slowly brushes his lips against yours in the softest of a kiss.

As he pulls away he says “how’s that, huh?”

“I don’t know” you say “I didn’t really feel it, kinda sucked really” you answer back at him referencing the kiss and not the remark that he’s going to keep you safe. Joel snorts at you while shaking his head and says “smartass.”

“Yeah but you love me” you say with a smirk. When you hear Joel slowly inhale and exhale closing his eyes you feel a tight pain in your chest, one where you know heartache is going to lie in a minute if you don’t tell Joel how you feel. You can’t say the words that you love him yet, as you don’t want to open yourself up for that much rejection, but you need him to understand what you feel. You gently grab Joel’s left hand and run your finger over his ring finger, at the place where a wedding band would lay, one that you hoped would lay there for you someday, even if just in your mind. You softly plead with him saying “Joel. Please, I need you.”

Joel felt a knot form in his chest at your plea. Not from the request, but from the way you sounded so soft, almost broken. He couldn’t stand that feeling anymore from you. He couldn't stand looking at you when you felt so small and scared. God he hated it when you felt like that, especially when it was him who caused it. He now looked at you with concern laced across his features as he said “what baby, what do you need? Tell me.”

After a moment you say looking down at your hand holding his “I need you, Joel. All of you. I need you to kiss me like you did in that dream, like you truly care and not stop cause you get scared, cause I’m scared of losing you and being alone and-”

Joel gently takes your hand in his while using the other hand to tilt your chin up slowly to look him in the eyes. You were nervous to look at him at first, but he just waits for you to look at him by gently holding your chin in place. As you slowly raise your eyes up to meet his you notice that his eyes are full of passion and something that may look like love, but you are unsure. He takes a deep breath and exhales and then says softly “ok baby, ok. ‘M gonna give you what you need, ok Angel? Shh, no more crying” he says as he slowly wipes a tear away. He then carefully leans down and kisses you ever so lightly on the lips.

You melt into the kiss that Joel gives you, not pushing you or forcing you. Just holding you gently and kissing you passionately, but then after a moment Joel kisses you again with a little more roughness. He skims his tongue along on your lower lip silently begging you to grant him access into your mouth. You silently open your mouth for him and you feel the heat intensify between you two. The next thing you know you both are swallowing each other’s soft moans that are leaving each of your mouths as you wrestle with each other’s tongues trying to see which one of you will establish dominance, and it is Joel that wins out.

As Joel thrusts his tongue into your mouth, he licks on the inside of it while picking you up and walking you back over to the bed and laying you down on top of the bed while saying “come on pretty girl, relax for me.” After a heavy makeout session you are grabbing at his belt to remove it and to pull down the zipper of his pants. He catches your hand and says “no sweetheart, not tonight” as he gently pulls off from you. Out of frustration you snap “what the fuck Joel, why not” you say.

He laughs slightly and gives you a quip of “ever hear of delayed gratification darlin’?”

“You’re joking, right?” you say not believing the words coming out of his mouth.

“Not joking sweetheart, dead fucking serious. You ever hear of it?” he says with a smirk.

“Jesus. Yes Joel I’ve heard of it” you say. “Why the hell does it matter now?” you quip back feeling frustrated at the man in front of you.

“It matters darlin’, okay? I’m gonna do it right with ya. It’ll make it feel better in the end, you beggin’ for it. You won’t know what hit ya when it happens” he says with a smirk on his face.

“Fuck you, Joel” you say under your breath. “You know we have already fucked so what’s the difference if we do it now?”

“Don’t remind me” he says sternly. “I gave in to my animalistic tendencies and never properly did things with you” he says shaking his head.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me” you say outloud, more to yourself than to him.

Joel eyes you for a moment and then says “darlin’ look, I usually don’t put out on the first date, ok. I make ‘em wait a little bit, and I wanna do that with you. I want to do this right, ok? Wanna do this right darlin’, court you the right way. Now be a good girl for me, yeah?”

You stare at him dumbfounded that he, of all people, wants to keep to tradition of attempting to date you. You can’t believe it, but you also know Joel enough that if you don’t agree to this then he won’t do any of it, and you don’t want that either. So you reluctantly agree saying “Yes Joel, I’ll be a good girl” with a gentle smile. But in your mind you think you’re gonna regret this Miller. I’m gonna tease you so bad you’ll be the one begging me for it in the end.

With a smile and a nod Joel says “good honey, glad ya see things my way. And don’t worry darlin’, I’m gonna eventually fuck you. Deep. Hard. Passionate. But ya gotta earn it first. M’kay?” he says with a smirk on his face. You smile and nod your head like the good little girl that you are, thinking to yourself yup Miller, we’ll see who’s begging for it the most in the end.

And that’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to allow that big old broody man to date you the way he wishes with the only goal of making him beg for it the worst in the end. He’s denied you for a long time and yes, you know you will eventually give in to him, but you want him to beg for it like he told you he did in his dream. And you think to yourself Man, this winter is going to be one hell of a winter; full of many warm, dirty, surprises.

--End of Chapter 4--

Author’s note: Thank you so much guys for supporting me with this series. For those who have read all of the parts to My Journey to You you find that I drop Easter eggs in the chapter of something the next chapter will bring. I’ve dropped a lot in this one. Next chapter we get into David and how this person was with the reader along with the slow burn of Joel and female reader’s relationship. Please feel free to like, reblog, and comment. If you want to be added to my taglist let me know in the comments. I only tag people for completed chapters (not for teasers of chapters). If you want teasers, make sure to turn on notifications for my page.

Side note: Joel’s dream state that he had in this chapter is a huge teaser for another series I am slowly going to start to write. Don’t worry, I am continuing on with this one too, but I wanted to also write something outside of this series to give you all a little variety. Also, some one-shots will be coming out in the future too (don’t worry, for those who want to be added to my tag list I will include you guys on those too when they come out). Enjoy

Taglist: @punkshort @shotgun-shelby @strawbunnyx @orcasoul @pedritoferg @chiogarza @jesfreedark @untamedheart81 @rainbow12346

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