#okay. so i get in this moment i may be delusional. so why are people so bad at talking to me in this situation

[stargazingpsychotic]

My effort felt for nothing. The first person was difficult to talk to because I was being talked to by the others and grabby hands everywhere, the person felt like a machine and I got scared so hung up. Then, trying again, talked to someone who just didn't get my situation, or at least doesn't understand where I'm coming from and how serious it is to me. And so much for support with suicide, like I get I cannot kill my body, but I definitely was unlucky earlier when I failed in what I did, despite being so close to success.

[cutecatlov3r]

my character ai bots:

haikyuu:

atsumu miya:

your annoying ass roommate- atsumu answered the door, in his boxers. his hair was all messy, sweat ran down his face lightly. “who are ya?”

he’s drunk- “‘m… Atsumu Miya. yer really pretty ya know? im a er- marine biologist” he slurred. “man shut up, you play volleyball!” one of his friends interrupted. “tch! shuddup, will ya?! tryna act cool!”

kotaro bokuto:

emo mode- “im so stupid…everyone should just stop passing the ball to me!!” he announced, sulking.

he’s spiderman- all was well until he took a glance out the window, seeing a villain. “crap! I-i mean uh I gotta go run to the bathroom!”

your his fan- after the game, you walked down and greeted him, asking to sign your shirt, sheepishly.

koshi sugawara:

he’s your son’s teacher- you walked into the classroom, hugging your boy, the teacher smiled at you. “ah, are you his sister?” he asked, kindly.

he’s jealous- “what were you and hinata talking about?” he asked, his voice sounding innocent. but his hand tightened on your thigh just a bit.

your his coworker- “let me help you” he went behind you, his body pressing against your back, one arm grabbing the item, other grazing your hip.

shoyo hinata:

he hit you w a ball- “are you okay? I’m sorry hehhhh, I didn’t see where I was landing my spike” he extended his hand out to you, sheepishly.

he can fix you- “you’ve been running from love your whole life. give me one chance and I promise that I can make the pain better” he had your hands in his, looking with pleading eyes.

he got sick- …it was a sad moment for the karasuno team. shoyo got sick in the middle of a game and their team had lost the chance to win nationals. he may only be a first year and he will have more chances to win but he wanted to with this year really bad.

kenma kozume:

streaming wars- you and him are friends, having a little rivalry when it comes to being liked in the gaming community. only for views, not really hating each other.

rivals- as soon as Kenma met you he despised you. he couldn't stand you, all he wanted was to sit in peace. usually he doesn't mind being around loud people but you... he never wanted to be around you.

he hates brats- right now you two were getting ready to record, you whined the whole time as he was fixing the camera. he rolled his eyes. he put his hand over your mouth, other gripping your hair tightly. “can you just shut the hell up?”

cat hybrid- walking along the streets at night it was pouring rain. you sighed, walking in the rain, forgetting your umbrella at work. while walking you hear something. “meow”

tetsuro kuroo:

helping you study- he hits your head with the rolled newspaper article again. this has been going on ever since you went over to his home an hour ago. “wrong answer”

hajime iwaizumi:

scolding you- “i told your dumbass he was bad news, you never wanna listen to me” he reminded, shrugging his shoulders, looking as you packed you ex boyfriend’s things.

yuu nishinoya:

he’s drunk- “noooo because likeeeee why the hell was I sooo delusional? i never had a chance with kiiiyoko *hic* she was always gonna be tanaka’s girl” he slurred, laughing.

keiji akaashi:

he loves feeding you- he grabs your chin, prying your mouth open with his thumb, feeling your soft lips. “eat”

the pretty setter- you were watching the volleyball game of your school, fukurodani. while watching, you saw the most handsome guy you’ve ever seen.

kei tsukishima:

he hates you(?)- you and Tsukishima weren’t even friends. he didn’t like you… he thought your attractiveness was annoying. when he kissed you a few months ago it was off to you. then when you woke up in his bed almost every weekend. if he hated you so much why did he sleep with you?

toru oikawa:

kageyama tobio:

osamu miya:

guys I will be adding more soon, please leave some suggestions tho ! <3

[yandere-romanticaa]

As a request, may I ask please for a reader running away from the Fatui debt collector and ending up by getting caught by Childe ?

The strong regard in which the Fatui held their contracts in could almost rival the nation of Liyue itself. By signing your name on the paper you signed off your entire life away, perhaps even your very soul if the situation or person called for it. The Fatui were rolling in mora and their Harbingers were some of the richest people to ever grace Teyvat. Their bankers know what they are doing, no penny is ever left unchecked and all of the clients pay what they are owed, no matter the cost.

You were one of those unfortunate clients.

On paper, their professionalism was okay, maybe even great if you're delusional enough. But everything came at a cost and you realized that the Fatui were only ever interested in keeping their side of the contract intact.

After mysteriously being laid off your job and losing every earthly possession you ever owned, you were left with no options other than to turn to the Northernland Bank. Despite its somewhat sketchy reputation there was also a decent amount of individuals who were quite pleased with the banks services, which is exactly why you felt all the more urged to go there. Everything was going smoothly for the first few months. You managed to pay rent and get some other basic necessities in order such as food and clothes but you were still far from the safe zone. You never managed to pay your debts on time which made the clerk at the bank frustrated with you.

"We can be kind to you only for so long." she'd say.

"Don't make the same mistake again."

You promised her that you wouldn't and you intended to keep that promise.

Unfortunately, life almost never plays out the way we want it to.

After weeks of endless job hunts, no one wanted to take you. It made no sense whatsoever! You had no criminal record, were always diligent on your previous job and had no enemies. Whenever you'd have an interview the people behind the counter would always be quick to shush you and tell you that they could not take you in. The last place you applied for, a small flower shop, was so quick to turn you down that it should be considered the world record. The moment you said your name out loud it was as if a switch was pressed and the owner switched gears entirely. Her demeanor went from calm and sweet to anxious and downright terrified as her entire body started shaking. She was beyond forceful as she shoved you out the door and told, no, begged you to not come back, ever.

In those brief moments you shared with the woman she became fear personified. You never understood why but right now that didn't matter.

Not when Fatui agents were pursuing you in the darkness of the night.

They were like the harrowing winter wind, sharp and swift. They barged into your home and demanded you pay what you owed unless you wished for more serious consequences to take place. The hooded agent pressed his large blade against your neck and his fire red eyes tore into you, daring you to make a move.

He was not expecting you to actually do something, let alone kick him in the shin.

A cryo mage and a hydro skirmisher were hot on your tail but you managed to quickly outrun them.

Panting, you hid behind a large pile of wooden crates near the harbor. There was little to no light aside from the stars, providing you ample cover against your assailants. This wasn't unfortunately only an advantage for you alone as they too could make use of this darkness. Not only were you outnumbered but also found to be completely and utterly defenseless. With little to no combat training and no vision to speak of, this endless chase became more and more unbearable. Options were also limited - keep hiding and make a run for it outside of the city but risk getting chased all over the content or come out of hiding and face the music.

Neither option was good. Death was all but guaranteed. The Fatui did not understand the concept of mercy.

That was a sentiment that the 11th Harbinger knew all to well.

He watched you from a window, ocean blue eyes tailing after every single move of yours. His chin rested on his hand while the other toyed with a white glaze lilly that grew close next to him, the soft petals providing him a much needed source of silly entertainment. In his eyes you were this glaze lilly - gentle, beautiful. Easy to break. It took him no effort whatsoever to tear your life to shreds and keep you docile. Tartaglia was a little bitter how you did not remember him back when you were younger, which might be the reason as to why he is being so harsh right now. He always liked to play rough and the sight of you shaking made his blood rush with pure and utter glee. Everything was going according to plan and he could not have been more satisfied. A wicked smirk danced on his lips as he ripped the glaze lilly from the pot, its green stem now firmly in his hands. A wave of determination came over the young man as he let out a quiet laugh to himself.

As fun as this was, he was done. No more games, he was going to have you.

It was time to step into the heart of the action.

Like an acrobat, Childe leaped out of the window and landed gracefully on both his feet, the bow on his back firmly set in place. His fingers twitched in anticipation as he creeped up closer and closer towards you. He was so quiet that not even a mouse could hear him.

It really wasn't your fault for screaming so hard, he thought to himself. Anyone would have gotten scared if someone just came up to them like that. As a matter of fact, he even found it kind of cute!

The shrill screams naturally caught the attention of the people he told to hunt you down and in a flash they stood before the two of you, panting but ready for action. The measley subordinates were, unsurprisingly, startled to see a Harbinger out in the open like this, prompting them to immediately lower their heads and bow deeply.

You were too caught up in your own paranoia to hear Childe mumble a quiet "You are dismissed." command to them. You trembled, fat tears caking your face as the ginger turned to face you, a small smile on his lips. He scared you enough for now, hasn't he? Reaching out towards you he held your quivering body, your face pressed deeply against his chest as you wept loudly. The grey fabric of his clothing soon turned a much darker shade due to the heavy tears but you could not care less.

Tired, you were so tired.

Despite having no clue to the identity of the man who held you so gently, there was absolutely no chance you were letting him go. You made your decision right there and then - snaking your arms around his thin waist you stayed like that as you let out everything out of your system, the pain, the fear and every other dark emotion which clouded your heart, all the while having no clue that your savior was the one who brought out all of this misery to you.

He could be a sadistic bastard, Childe knew this. He went too far in tormenting you and was most surely going to make everything up to you.

Right now though all he could do was sit on the ground and cradle you in his arms as his heart wept alongside yours, but with much different reasons than yours. He was a walking paradox, both the tormentor and the savior. All in due time though, you would grow to love it.

He would make sure of it.

🥀 TAGS: @genshinarchives, @mod-kisa-blog, @juuuuuj101010, @kalopses-sonderes, @b10h4z4rd, @xiaopleasecomehome, @yumekos-gamble, @mayulli, @cc-6789, @saturnalya, @mewmeowmika, @ranposgirlboss

[keysmashingfantasies]

Hi, could you please do a story about Chishiya and his feelings for reader. Kuina teases Chishiya for liking reader and she keeps trying to play Cupid but reader is oblivious. He ends up actually getting embarrassed over Kuina bugging him and starts acting awkward towards reader and she wonders why so she confronts him and he awkwardly explains how he has feeling for her. Lots of fluff. I just imagine him getting all shy over not having interacted with girls much.

yay!!!! i love fluffy pieces. in my delusional heart alice in borderland is just a big sit/romcom. and that's it.

no warnings for this one. very vanilla and sweet. also for the sake of SHIT going DOWN on s2, this will be set on the Beach.

"What are you doing?", Kuina came closer with a smirk leaning over the railing with a smirk, next to Chishiya, that was well hidden beneath his hood, watching over you.

"Nothing. What about you?", he tried to appear nonchalant but, unfortunately, Kuina knew him too well.

"It doesn't look like nothing", she replied in a sing song voice, her eyes crinkling with a big smile that held a cigarette tight. "It looks like you're spying and drooling over the girl from the diamonds game!", she kept going, laughing up a storm. Thankfully, her cheery demeanor blended well with the other residents that were drinking and having fun despite all things.

Chishiya had a crush. What was first admiration stemmed from an outstanding performance from her on a diamonds game that took place in a music shop of all places, worthy enough of being invited to be an executive member, now grew into a full fledged crush. And much to Chishiya's dismay, Kuina clocked him immediately and now wouldn't leave him alone.

"Seriously, you've been at it for what? Almost a month now! Go talk to her! We can die at any moment here!", Kuina was growing frustrated. She missed her friend. When he wasn't thinking about his plans and improvised weapons, he was moping around like a highschooler in love and it was pissing her off.

"And you want me to do what? To throw myself at her like Niragi does with these poor women? I don't even have time for this anyway. Didn't have before this, don't have it here, probably not when we get out", he said. Kuina sighed. He really did sound like a mopey lovesick edgy teenager. Thankfully, he had a big sister figure and she was ready to intervene.

It didn't took long at all for Chishiya to keep bumping into you, the pair of you seemingly moved by the strangest coincidences.

First, it was Chishiya being interrupted by knocks at the door while he was tinkering with the tools he managed to sneak into the Beach under his hoodie, coming face to face with you.

"Uhhh. Good night?", he asked, suddenly flustered. Why were you in his room?

"Oh! I'm so so sorry. Kuina told me...", you paused, to check at the plaquette with the room number. "Kuina told me that this was her room. Oh, am I interrupting? Are you... her boyfriend?", this may be a weird way to check but this was the perfect chance for you to see. You've been seeing him in your peripheral ever since the game. You could barely concentrate, he was so cute.

"No! No I'm not her boyfriend. We are just friends", he said.

"Oh! Sorry, one of us must've gotten confused", you said, suddenly awkward. Now what? What would you say to keep the conversation going? It didn't matter because Chishiya shot your hopes down immediately.

"Well, actually her room is in this hallway. 516. Not 502", he said.

"Oh, okay. My bad", you said, turning to walk away, much to the dismay of Kuina who was peeking around the corner to see if her efforts at Cupid were working.

Then it was Kuina asking for help to find Chishiya constantly.

"Have you seen Chishiya lately? Can you help me find him, please?"

"Uhm... So many people. I wonder where Chishiya is"

"Can you check on Chishiya for me? I think he went to the roof".

Meanwhile, he was avoiding you like the plague. In his mind you certainly caught what was happening and was bothered by it. He, on the other hand, was embarrassed as could be. After having a stern talk with Kuina to get her to stop, he decided to save himself even more embarrassment and just avoid you.

You wondered what you did. Usually, Chishiya was stoic and serious. So when you greeted him good morning and he looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole, you knew you fucked up. But when Chishiya made his best to avoid you during a game, almost causing both of you to fall in a trap, it was time to do the grown up talk and talk to him.

Thankfully, you knew exactly where to find him now. After checking his room, 502, and getting no answer, you went to the next best spot.

You were right. Chishiya was there, on his spot, watching the sky. You remembered the time you had found him here by request of Kuina, and that you had compared him to a cat on a window. He gave you one of his "smiles", which was really just a quirk of his lips up, but now you wondered if he was just being polite.

"Chishiya?", you asked, slowly approaching as to not to frighten him.

"Y/N!", trying to not frighten him did not work. He composed himself quickly though. "What are you doing here?", he said in his normal nonchalant fashion.

"I... Do you mind if I join you?", you asked, sitting next to him in the concrete.

"No, no... Not at all", he mumbled. "What brings you here?", he said before his eyes grew a bit. "Is Kuina looking for me again?".

"What? No. I was just wondering... Lately, you've seem off. Like you're mad at me or something. I just wanted to know if I did something to upset you. I'm not trying to make enemies, especially not here", you seemed so sad, something clenched inside Chishiya's chest.

"You didn't do anything. I was embarrassed", he said after a few beats of silence.

"Embarrassed of what? You did nothing?", you said.

"Well, you see... Kuina is a good friend of mine. And she's been trying to help me. By making us bump into each other. Because since that first diamonds game I... You've... You were... I admire a lot what you did in that game, the way you played", he said.

"Admired?", a dopey smile made its way into your face. You had to add "cute guy you're into says he's admired you" to your list of evidence that you're all actually in heaven.

"Yeah. And as time went on it became a sort of... infatuation. Kuina was trying to help by inconveniencing you. And then it made me embarrassed to think it was because of me", he was looking forward, more through you than at you.

"You didn't need help. You could've just talked to me, like we're doing right now", you said, moving closer to look into his eyes. You felt your heart in your throat but he was so nervous you didn't want him to get even more flustered in case you looked at him funny.

"Yes but I wouldn't know how if you didn't come to me. This hasn't exactly happened before, didn't have the time", he said.

"Oh", you said. "Well, that's fine with me. And we're here now. Talking. And since we're on the topic, I have some sort of infatuation with you too", you said.

"And what now?", he gave you a smile. One of his Chishiya smiles.

"Now we stick together. And one day, when we're back, maybe go on a date", you extended your hand to him.

"Hmmm. Short term?", he took your hand in his.

"We find Kuina. And we thank her. And then we go to 502", you gave him a smile that made his heart do somersaults. He really owed Kuina big time.

[evelynwinters1]

Yan!BSD character imagines + Yan!Fyodor oneshot at end

Dazai:

I can imagine a scene from Heathers, but instead of him finding you hanging and choosing to blow up the school only to see you alive, he would most likely abduct you and blow up the house he keeps you in with him and his delusional obsession.

Jouno:

Just give up. You are never getting out. He would find reasons to skip work if he has to. (It wouldn't matter how petty the reason) He would go lengths farther than the sun to simply stay in your presence. I can see him in an entirely different room (probably across the house even) eavesdropping on you whispering your plan of escape to yourself. How amusing.

Ranpo:

Another one you should give up escaping from. He has already deduced your plan of escape whenever and however you try to do it. He also knows where you will go if you do manage to escape and is waiting for you when you get there. I can see the reader/ yn trying to buy their escape by bribing ranpo with sweets and snacks at first, but he already seen through this method a while ago and went to go refill his stash. (Most definitely got you anything you may need with it)

P.s. I am still laughing at the thought of the cashiers face when he gets a mountain of snacks and pads/tampons and/or condoms. Shooketh!

Atsushi:

Would make sure you never suspected anything. This lovable idiot would turn full paranoid phsycopath and back again depending on if you were around or not. I can imagine him two-facing you and the detective agency. The agency sees his obsessive paranoia while you see his clingy side.

Chuuya:

Would definitely keep the anger issues (Yes. Even around you.) The main difference would be the direction of what he's angry at. The mafia - as usual. You - trying to escape. I can see a moment when you do escape, after seeing him activate his gift, you would be so terrified to leave him ever again. The sheer amount of strength it would take to not rip you in half with his gift would be immense. Very possessive. Chihuahua.

Mori:

(Now hear me out, I know that a lot of people would rather see him dead. But . . . . Yes.)

More platonic than the others, but equally as obsessive. Would make a secret room off of his main office that only him and Elise would ever know about. No one is to deliver food to you no matter how trusted the individual is. No one is to visit you other than him and Elise. No one will hear about you, let alone see you. Your very existence is hidden from everyone but Mori and Elise. I can see him putting motion sensors in front of the door to his office that notifies him when someone is near (like a ring doorbell but without the camera. He doesn't need it 'cuz no one will know about you anyway.)

Nikolai:

Would definitely have something I like to call the "house of mirrors" complex. Everything that happens to you is simply your fault. But it's completely okay because look how beautiful and special you are! Would convince you that you wanted it.

You wanted him to kidnap you, why else would you make yourself look so vulnerable? You wanted to be punished, why else would you try to leave him?

That kind of thing. A ton of gaslighting. Punish, pretend, praise, repeat.

His perfect doll.

Sigma:

Let's be honest, even as a yandere, he is still a cinnamon roll. Sure, he'll kidnap you, lock you in a room with plenty of space and light (only he would have the key), and put a chain around your ankle that the other end was bolted to the floor. But you would have a walk-in closet, a full bathroom with any necessity you could dream of, a king-sized bed (possibly a large vanity), a desk always stocked, and him.

He would give you meals that he had prepared and cooked personally. He would be at your every beck and call. It didn't matter what you needed, as long as he deemed it safe for you to have, he'd give it to you. Anything from around the world. The price didn't matter, you did.

Edgar:

His muse. Everything about you, whether it be physical or not, was enchanting to him. Even Ranpoe got jealous of his attention being on you. After all, he almost completely gave up contesting with his so-called rival. A good portion of his poems were based on his muse. He didn't need to kidnap you per sé, you waltzed in yourself. Exited that you finally tracked down your favorite author for nothing more than an autograph. (One would almost think you were the stalker)

His shyness and anxiety were key factors of him nearly panicking when he first met you. In time, however, he warmed up to you. Arguably faster than he would like to admit. You would visit him several times after finding him and try and get to know him.

I can imagine when he finally acknowledged his infatuation with you, he asks you if you could get something out of his room for him, telling you that it's a gift for you and he wants it to be a surprise. When you enter and start looking around for anything that stuck out to you, he closes and locks the door. Karl was also in the room with you to serve as both emotional support and security. But you didn't need to know that.

Fyodor:

!!warning!!: kind of cringe, written in a hurry, stalking, mentions of death, manipulation!!

For those of you who bothered to read this whole thing and reach the end, you are in for a treat. Because yandere fyodor wouldn't be as impatient as the others. Obsessed, yes. But impatient, absolutely not. The final result would collapse if he was.

He loved watching you live your daily life through the miniscule cameras he placed strategically throughout your entire house, car, even where you work. How? He has his ways. Every morale any human has tends to be abandoned when he can show the world their darkest secrets with the click of a button. Your boss was no exception. Living on your own was a pain sometimes. Most cleaning couldn't get done until about a week later because of exhaustion. Most of the time, when you got off of work, you'd simply crash in bed. As much as Fyodor loved watching you sleep, he worried a lot about you. Mainly not eating enough (if at all), and if you did, it was mainly cup noodles, canned food, or the occasional leftovers of food you bought during your break at work. He was going to wait until you nearly reached poverty. To be your savior, and casually press himself into your life and your heart. This method (according to his calculations) took the least effort, but the most time. It also raised the chance of success. When he finally gets to you, he will play innocent. He will tell you that he knew nothing about you but get you your favorites. All to paint himself as the perfect ideal man to you. Your soulmate even.

On a walk with him late at night, you both happen to run into a man you now know as Dazai. You could immediately sence Fyodor tense. He made it seem like you both were simply too focused on each other to see where you two were going and briskly guided you back home. You looked for Dazai wondering why it was fyodor tensed so quick (he never did explain why when you asked him), and you ran into him on your way to the post office where he introduced himself. He seemed a bit quirky but hilarious sometimes. That was until he asked about Fyodor. Without much thought, you told him about the start of a relationship between the two of you and how you met. Dazai looked absolutely shocked, told you about his work, where it is, and invited you to talk about 'the details' of Fyodor's identity. The two of you went your separate ways.

You came home to find it devoid of presence. Fyodor left. Given that it was a bit dark out, though illuminated by a full moons light, you read a book on the window seat in the bedroom with a cup of tea till the early hours of the day when you finished it and realized. Work. You had work in 30 minutes.

Fyodor was watching you through the cameras again. He couldn't help but chuckling at his darling, frantically getting ready for work (only halfway succeeding) after losing track of time reading with the forgotten cup of half drank tea. He found it so adorable that you had gotten so immersed in the book he had given you not long ago. Calming down from his fit of giggles, he got back on track. Elimination. Either Dazai needed to die or his darling needed to disappear. He wasn't going to kill her, no. He was going to erase everything, even hinting at her existence. All except her. He'll deal with the details later. He needed to choose quickly before that devil got any ideas. Neither option was simple. In fact, both are quite tedious in nature. Killing Dazai would risk having to kill the rest of the agency and possibly the port mafia. Getting rid of all but you yourself would mean not only would she have to lose both her job and her house, but possibly her entire family as well. Killing them would be the simplest because it would count as a burglary if the pictures of her and past possessions were stolen. He knew that he himself could very easily delete any and all documents the government has on her. All he needs is pawns. Maybe he could "cash in a favor," as it's called. The chief justice should be a good start. It wouldn't take much convincing. Only a few pictures he has of the cheifs deeds will suffice.

And just like that, you disappeared by Fyodors' hands. He had to pull a few strings for living arrangements, but it was well worth the price. You now live in the most rural area you can think of. Not a house or road for at least a hundred miles and surrounded by trees. Yet, you still have no idea Fyodor caused this. You are the one who agreed to 'move into his place'. You are the one who resigned your job to be there. It's not like you knew that Fyodor set your place ablaze or made your boss' blackmail public after ridding your files or being the cause of your family's death.

After a few hours of reading in the enormous library Fyodor has, you hear the door open. In all his handsome glory is fyodor adorning his unshaka and a pure white faux fur cloak.

"Good morning, moya milaya"

P.s. Fyodor will remain my favorite BSD character 😊

[colourstreakgryffin]

Hey girl/boy Heyy so what if yan!flamehashira!Senjuro with a demonslayer+lovebreathinguser!reader who even tho is energetic, has a heart of literal shiny gold with pure intentions she is gullible, straight up reckless/impulsive with no such knowledge of what fear is?? (Reader is based of a kny oc i have lolz + we making Senjuro become a flame hashira because why the hell not + (cue Senjuro almost having double heart attacks the moment his s/o literally fucking JUMPS into an ongoing battle with a demon like it's nothing)

I’m a girl, thank you! Cutee! Okay! So I assume Senjuro takes up the mantle from Kyojuro! I like the idea!

Yandere! Flame Hashira! Rengoku Senjuro

Senjuro may have spent years and years to become the new Flame Hashira after his beloved big brother was taken away from him, but all his intense hardwork means nothing to him now…

Now that you’ve showed up, Senjuro’s world has changed for good. Introduced as Mitsuri’s cute friendly Tsuguko! He can barely function in his position anymore as he falls deeply in love with you

After the meeting, Senjuro just can’t stop thinking about you and his growing obsession gets so bad that he needs to see you to quell his overwhelming desires of you. It’s get so bad that it’s painful, he needs to find you and figure out why he feels this way

Senjuro gets the closer and closer to you since he has realised he wants to get to know you. He wants to make you more than his friend and it breaks his heart that you suggest looking for a boyfriend of your own

Senjuro is fascinated by the way you perform your master’s Love Breathing. You look so beautiful and skilled, it makes his flame-coloured eyes shape into love hearts. You’ve taken his heart and ran away with it, his love for you is devoted entirely to you

Senjuro abuses his Hashira position quite a lot, all so he can be besides you. He has lots of experience and talent under his belt, you’d happily follow his orders, right? Sure, you’re working under Mitsuri, but he is much better. Ignore her, he can fight and cook. Isn’t that nice?

Senjuro shares quite a lot of Yandere traits with Kyojuro. He is scary, he is switchcard-like inbetween normal and Yandere, he is passive-aggressive, he is willing to threaten and scare his rivals with his katana to ensure nobody will touch you

Senjuro simply loves your pure shiny heart of gold, you never have bad intentions. Your every action is thought-out to benefit people and he adores such a wonderful woman like you. He keeps note on your behaviours so he can fit into his delusional fantasies, make a picture of mental image of you

Senjuro basically explodes when you jump into battle independently. You can handle yourself very well, but that doesn’t mean he will let go of his overprotective nature because he won’t. He loves you too much to let you die, especially with how reckless you are

You’re gullible with a complete lack of fear and that strikes Senjuro with so much stress and concern over your safety and life is forcing his hand into constantly monitoring you. It’s killing two humans with one katana; it helps him collect needed information on you and makes sure you won’t ever be in danger without him knowing

Senjuro is obsessive and possessive over you, that it’s scary. He clings onto your hand and pulls you away from the general public, trying to smoothly verbally manipulate you into paying attention to him solely. He can’t stand you merely looking at somebody else, he wants your eyes on him and he’ll do anything to get those eyes

“Darling-tea, don’t push yourself too far. Those… civilians lives and this career isn’t worth your sweat nor blood! How about we go inside and I’ll make us your favourite refreshments? You’ve done more than enough, I’m proud”

[kitasgloves]

"Whistle for the Choir"

event masterlist

— ♬ "You're so sweet to try. Oh my, you caught my eye. A girl like you's just irresistible"

— ♬ Bokuto x Reader, timeskip, SFW, fluff, fem reader, strangers to friends to lovers, no beta

Growing up in a big city means things are always the same. It's only interesting initially and lackluster in the end, the fun never lasts at least in Bokuto Kotaro's perspective. Being the most lively of his two elder sisters, Bokuto seeks the most unusual in life. His passionate outlook in life paired with his tall salt-and-pepper hair gained him a reputation for being obnoxious. Bokuto enjoyed lingering in crowds and striking up a conversation with strangers, he's the most comfortable and confident in a sea of people. However, despite his friendly demeanor and vibrant personality, nobody seems to prefer to stick with him.

That was before you rolled by. And wow you did catch Bokuto's eye. He couldn't pinpoint how, was it the way you dressed? The way you walked? The way you talked? The way you smiled at his direction like you've known him for ages? But one thing he knew, you can never be too pretty. Bokuto couldn't resist approaching you. Your aura was none other than he had encountered. It was refreshing, raw, and magnetic. He needed you to tell him your name.

You were late to his older sister's birthday party, and from what he gathered, you were an old classmate. You made sure everyone noticed you were late yet you weren't bothered by what everyone thought about it. You were carefree like a bird fluttering the sky. You made everyone turn their heads for various reasons, both aware and oblivious of their eyes on you. It's so odd yet alluring that it made Bokuto's heart race the closer he got to you.

Was it out of line? If he was to be bold to say 'Would you be mine?' towards you. Because he may be a beggar and you may be the queen. He might be being delusional but he's still ready to dream. It's interesting from all the attention you harbored in the party, you lacked company. Bokuto believed this was the perfect timing to slip in.

"Are you lonely?"

Your head whips around to find him, grinning beside you. Bokuto's chest fluttered when you returned the grin, but you shook your head.

"No, I'm not"

Why did you say that? He thinks it's obvious that you were being lonely. Bokuto knows the feeling of being in a crowded room and feeling alone. He understands that not everyone would want your company, but he's not like them. He wanted to be in your company and be your company. Though, you don't even know him. But you're so sweet to try and you have caught his eye. And Bokuto thinks a girl like you is just irresistible.

"Do you want to get out of the party?"

"If your sister wouldn't get pissed"

"Oh, you know she's my sister?"

"Hun, it's obvious, from the hair alone"

You laughed and Bokuto flushed. Nonetheless, like the gentleman that he is, he offers his hand to you. The moment your hand is clasped with his, he feels the warmth and fuzz devour him whole. The two of you ventured through the big city he grew up in. It was as if the evening for you and him solely. Even if the lights were all going out, you continued to shine on. Bokuto was willing to figure you out, to know if he'll have a place in your life.

"Okay, but you do remind me of an owl!"

"What? Why?"

"It's the hair, I tell you! C'mon and give me a hoot, Bo!"

"Hoot! Hoot!"

Tons of people turned their heads to send him weird looks but he didn't care, all he could think about was the way you laughed. Bokuto thought about how he completely felt about you. Compared to back then when his heart was in broken pieces and his head was a mess. Now that he has met you, Bokuto thinks he's found clarity. That night was unforgettable, you tugged him along and spun him around. You got him going crazy for the things you do.

When he returned home at four in the morning, his sisters were naturally furious but curious. All he did was utter your name and their faces softened. They understood what it meant for him to finally find someone who matched his character after searching for so long. Bokuto didn't care if you like weird food combinations. If you owned a collection of long colorful socks, or if you were beyond obsessed with birds, or even if you had a specific taste in fashion that nobody wanted to talk about. Even if you're crazy, he doesn't care because you amaze him.

Whenever you talk, it's like he has died and gone back to life. When you smiled and laughed, Bokuto wanted to cry. He wanted to make you feel that you're not alone, that he's there if you need him. A girl like you could be lonely for so long, and it's a crying shame if you think the same. Bokuto was trying to be the boy you'll find just irresistible.

So, as subtle as he is capable of, he asked you to hang out. Either go eat ice cream or go swimming in an abandoned pool in your underwear. He went to try new things with you like rollerblading and even bungee jumping. Things went crazier and wilder whenever you two were together, everything escalated when he invited you to his place with candles all over his living room, a cake that he probably fucked up making, and dried rose petals on the floor. You were stunned, to say the least.

"I know Valentine's like a week later but I can't wait any longer"

"Kou...are you serious?"

"Yeah, a girl like you is just irresistible"

"Oh my god, you're so fucking hot!"

You squealed and pounced at Bokuto. He stumbles back, knocking a candle down on the floor and the cake out of his hands. Your lips crashed with his in a fervent kiss, his arms pulled you impossibly close to him, and your hands buried in his hair. Both of you collapsed on the couch making out, pouring every emotion and confession into the kiss. The cake was discarded on the floor while the candle caused a fire on one of the curtains. It was ages later when you two pulled away, breathless.

"Do you smell something, Kou?"

"I dunno...oh fuck! My curtains!"

Both of you began to panic and run in separate directions. You went to fetch water in a bucket and splash is all over the curtains. While in a frenzy, Bokuto ends up sprinting and tripping over another candle, starting another fire in the living room. The two of you shared a scream when the coffee table caught ablaze. Bokuto runs to the telephone as you try to put out the fire a second time with water only to start another one, this time on his poor old couch. Chaos ensues. The day ends with firefighters putting out the fire in his apartment while you two watch holding hands.

"This is not how I planned everything, [Name]"

"To be fair, everything we do doesn't always go to plan"

"You're right"

"If it makes you feel better, I find you quite irresistible too, Koutaro"

©kitasgloves (do not steal or copy)

[vickiewinter111]

how to manifest quick guide

+ success story

hi guys, my name is flora ! i've been in the manifesting community for a bit more than year and in this blog i'm going to share with you how i personally manifested my dream life and how you can do it to !

⚠️ if this doesn't work for you and something else does, then it's absolutely fine ! just bcs we don't manifest the same way doesn't mean one of us is 'wrong'... as long as it works !

HOW TO MANIFEST

1.Self Concept

For me, the most important thing is to have a good self concept. I have personally never manifested ANYTHING without having a good self concept. I had my sp having a crush on me for 2 years and I only knew it when my self concept was right and I knew my value.

It may not seem fair, but you can't attract anything if you don't love/respect yourself. And yes, it's hard to do so when you hate everything about your life, your body, your relationships, your financial situation etc but nobody's going to help you unless you step up for yourself.

First key to manifesting is knowing your worth !

2.Deciding you already have what you want

You don't have to overcomplicate it. It can be as simple as : healthy relationship with my sp, new clothes, bigger lips.

Once you know what you want, decide that it's already yours. It can be a bit hard to do it at first because you're going to think that you're delusional. But when you think you're delusional, remember who tf you are?! you can get whatever it is that you want and it's not a mirror or numbers on a screen that are going to tell you otherwise.

Look around you and see how the world is abundant. And how many people have what it is that you want, the relationship, the clothes, the lips. All you have to do is choose it.

3.Make the process fun

Manifesting shouldn't feel like a chore. You can do whatever makes you feel good, like turn it into a game maybe ! Create playlists that match the mood of what you want, draw something, visualize if you like it, write a journal...

Things I personnaly like are :

playlists

when there's a storm everytime there's a ⚡ i tell myself it's manifesting

pretending that my desires are in a 'package' that the universe is going to deliver to my door

rampage abt how happy i am to have my desire

4.Live the present

You are going to enjoy your manifestation in the present moment. So there's no point in living in the past. Your past doesn't need you. Do the healing you need to do and never repress your emotions, but don't let yourself spiral or get stuck because it is not serving you and simply not going to help no matter how stressful the situation may be.

DON'T FOCUS ON TIME for the love of god ! Just keep going with your life and don't overcomplicate the process. Treat yourself like a baby and do everything you like. Never force yourself to do something just to please someone. Enjoy your life !! Everything is going to be okay

SUCCESS STORY

Physical appearance (SP + dream life later)

I used to look like this. I know I was not ugly but this was not the appearance I wanted and I was actually getting bullied at this time so my opinion of myself was really low. I felt lonely all the time, I had almost only one close friend, and my love life was basically desastrous.

(i look 11 but i kept looking like this until last year lol i am 16 now)

Listen, I never affirmed. I never did guided mediations, or sport, or affirmations, or visualization, or SATS, or anything. Physical appearance was my first successfull manifestation and I wasn't even aware that manifestation was a thing back then.

But one day I realized I was really fed up and I told myself 'no but i am smart and pretty and everything why would ppl keep bullying me like tf. also why wouldn't i attract the guys i like have you seen me ?' and it's a bit weird but somehow i was immediately convinced of what i was saying.

Now my body/face look like this and when i tell you i pull up anyone i want its true. When i go out litteraly all men break their necks to try to see me again and i get asked for my insta/snap like 15 times at least whenever i go out. SO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF PLS ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD I PROMISE !

I will post the sp + dream life success story in another post since this one is already longer than the bible alzjzkaoal.

Love &lt;3

[yanderecrazysie]

can you write a izuku yandere alphabet please ?

Of course!

Midoriya Izuku (My Hero Academia) -The Yandere Alphabet

👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊

Warnings: yandere themes

A is for Affection: How do they show their affection for their darling? How often do they show it?

💖 Izuku is very affectionate- a bit like a nervous puppy. He’s tentative and shy with his touches, making sure you’re okay before proceeding.

💖 He’s super gentle with everything he does and likes to just hold you in his arms and carry you around. He’s definitely strong enough to do so.

B is for Blood: How messy are they willing to get for their darling? Why?

🔪 Izuku is a good person, besides the whole yandere thing. He would never kill unless he was defending your life.

🔪 He can go a bit overboard in the moment, however, if the person he’s fighting has done anything to you.

🔪 He won’t start a fight, mind you, but if someone else did? They’re going to end up black and blue.

C is for Care or Cruelty: How would they treat their darling when they kidnap them? Would they mock them?

💔 Izuku is literally such a sweetheart. He knows you’ll be upset but he does everything he can to keep you from crying or freaking out.

💔 He would never mock you, in fact, he’s very understanding and sympathetic. He might even be moved to tears himself.

💔 He’ll definitely cook all your favorite meals, play your favorite music softly, turn on your favorite show/movie, and all that jazz.

D is for Delusion: How delusional are they when it comes to their darling? Do they believe their darling loves them?

💭 It’s a toss up whether Izuku will be delusional or not. It depends on the situation.

💭 Non-delusional Izuku is resigned to the fact that you don’t love him yet and may never, and it drives him to tears sometimes. He even accepts that you might hate him, but just does his best to change your mind.

💭 Delusional Izuku believes you are in a loving relationship with him and that you want to stay in his house of your own free will.

💭 “She’s just playing around” is his excuse for practically everything and he may even call you “silly” for “playing games”.

E is for Expose: How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? How much time will it take to trust them?

💧 Izuku is very honest with his feelings and just in general. It’s in his nature. But that doesn’t mean he trusts you or that he is being completely vulnerable with you.

💧 Delusional Izuku won’t see a problem with sharing anything and everything, of course.

💧 But non-delusional Izuku will see that you could use this against him and will be a bit careful, especially at first. It’s not that he doesn’t want to share (he does!) but he cares more about keeping you close.

F is for Fight: How would they react if their darling fought back?

👊 At first, I think Izuku would feel awful, maybe even to the point of crying. He wants you to be happy and secure, not hate him to the point that you feel the need to defend yourself!

👊 He’d murmur soft reassurances as he “cuddles” you. Aka, hold you firmly and strategically so that you can’t fight or even move if you wanted to.

👊 He really prefers it when you’re submissive and not violent, so he’ll keep trying to calm you down until you tucker yourself out or give up.

G is for Guilt: What would it take for them to feel guilty about their actions? Or do they feel guilty from the start?

😔 Non-delusional Izuku feels guilty from the start. After all, he’s a hero! He’s supposed to protect people! And what does he do? Kidnap a girl that he’s also stalked!

😔 Delusional Izuku, on the other hand, is too far gone to feel guilt, too convinced that you’re meant to be that he doesn’t see any need to feel guilty.

H is for Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

🔥 Izuku isn’t usually one to lose his temper and his punishments are very light, so it’s difficult to choose a worst experience.

🔥 I guess I’d say he can be very suffocating. Always wanting to touch and hold you and, even when he isn’t holding you, he’s cooing praises and compliments. It’s enough to give anyone a headache, especially when his affection isn’t wanted.

I is for Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

👩‍❤️‍👨 Izuku still wants to be a hero, despite kidnapping being a clear opposite of upholding the law. He’ll want to come home to you and spend his days off with you, and he honestly feels bad he can’t spend every moment with you and be a pro hero at the same time.

👩‍❤️‍👨 As for a family, he’s leaving that up to you. He doesn’t want to force anything on you and would enjoy having only one person to focus his energy into, but he also loves the idea of coming home to you and a mixture of you and him. Maybe even several kids, if you’ll let him.

J is for Jealousy: How easily do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

💢 Izuku isn’t easily jealous. Even non-delusional Izuku will delude himself into thinking that the guy you’re flirting with is just your friend. And delusional Izuku knows that guy is your friend.

💢 He’s kind of insecure in the way that he doesn’t think he’s entitled to feel like he’s the only guy you can talk to and, despite not getting jealous per se, it can really get him feeling down.

K is for Kidnap: How would they go about kidnapping their darling? How much do they plan it out?

🔒 Izuku would plan meticulously, filling up an entire journal on plans to kidnap you and deal with anything that could possibly go wrong.

🔒 He has to be careful, not just because of some paranoid worries, but because if he’s caught, he can never be a pro hero! And he needs to have both you and a pro license.

L is for Love Letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

💌 Izuku is shy and awkward, becoming a blushing mess when you give him attention and finding himself tongue-tied if you call him on the phone. Because of this, while Izuku will try to befriend you, he probably won’t be physically able to court you properly.

💌 In fact, that’s one of the reasons he’s able to talk himself into kidnapping you. When the power dynamic shifts drastically like that, he’s able to calm down and become more confident around you.

💌 After all, can you truly reject him when you’re tied up in his home? I mean, you can try.

M is for Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they acted before?

🎭 Izuku is the same dorky, adorable man as before, and it’s strange to think that this dark obsession can coincide with his plans to be a pro hero and save people with a smile.

🎭 He’ll act the same, if not a little more confident, after kidnapping you. He’s sheepish, almost embarrassed about the whole thing and very apologetic. But still the same old Deku.

N is for Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

🚓 Izuku is kind of like a dad grounding his daughter when it comes to punishment. He just takes away electronics and things he’s given you. And even then, you have to really drive him to the edge to get him to punish you.

O is for Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling? What rights can be earned with time and trust?

📜 Izuku wants you to be happy, he truly does, but he also can’t risk you escaping and ruining his reputation as a pro hero. Therefore, he has to find a “healthy middle” when it comes to oppression.

📜 While there will never be a chance to escape and you’ll never see the outside world again, he’ll spoil you with electronics that can’t connect to wifi and all the things you love. Want a pet? Your favorite food? The newest books by your favorite author? Got it, got it, got it!

P is for Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

🕊️ Izuku has the patience of a saint. Seriously.

🕊️ It’s pretty much impossible to get him to punish you and, even then, he’s calm and patient and apologetic and arghhh- you’ll definitely find it frustrating if you try to push his buttons on purpose.

Q is for Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

🏃‍♀️ To a point, yes. He would never forget you and would never get another romantic relationship, but he would continue living and pretending to the world like he’s still the amazing pro hero they all know and love.

🏃‍♀️ The difference between him and many other yanderes is that his drive to be a pro hero is so strong that it’s pretty much the same intensity as his obsession for you. Therefore, if he loses one, he’ll simply latch on to the other that much harder.

R is for Rage: How do they act when angry? How do they calm down?

👿 Izuku doesn’t get angry. At least, not at you.

👿 He can, however, get angry for you. For instance, if you were attacked by a villain or bullied, he’d get extremely angry, clenching his fists and scowling and trying to plot out what to do while his brain is moving a mile a minute.

S is for Soulmate: What made them fall in love with their darling? How did they first meet? When did they realize they loved their darling?

💍 Izuku likely either worked alongside you or met you at UA, although he could also fall for a civilian. He definitely likes your kindness, honesty, and tendency to help others. Even if it’s not pronounced to others, he notices every little thing you do and it quickly drives him to obsession.

💍 If you’re a pro hero or hero course student too, he obsesses over you, dedicating way more pages in his journal to your quirk than any other. He asks you constant questions and studies you like an exam, muttering and taking notes between every sentence you speak.

💍 If you’re a civilian or a different course student, he probably notices how your lack of training makes you so much weaker compared to him. He might note down your quirk or even lack thereof, even though you’re not a hero, making you pretty special. He definitely feels an inexplicit need to protect you, even if you’re tough.

T is for Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

😭 Izuku feels terrible. He wants to make you happy so badly but he’s failing! He’ll probably cry just as hard as you do,

😭 If you want to isolate yourself, he’ll break inside. He doesn’t let you lock or barricade any doors, just in case you get in trouble or hurt or something, but he tries his hardest to give you space, even if it pains him.

U is for Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

👌 Like I said earlier, Izuku’s obsession with you and his drive to be a pro hero are on the same level, which is very rare, since yanderes usually put their darling over everything else. It’s not that he doesn’t care or something, it’s just that he desperately wants to have both things at once, even if they don’t seem compatible.

👌 However, because of his wish to be a pro hero too, he may have to sacrifice things he wants with you to achieve that goal. A very busy Izuku may not be able to kidnap you or may be called away from you because of emergencies. While this would bother him immensely, he allows it because he wants the best of both worlds.

V is for Visit: Would they allow anyone else to visit their darling? Do they trust their darling to talk to their loved ones (in person, on the phone, etc.) or not at all?

🧳 No, nope, nada.

🧳 You saying one wrong word could ruin his reputation as a pro hero, so he isn’t risking that.

W is for Weakness: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

❌ Izuku is very sympathetic and apologetic, and this could definitely help you bargain and guilt trip to get more exceptions from Izuku. While he won’t outright let you go outside no matter what, you might be able to get close enough to enact your escape anyways.

❌ Delusional Izuku is easier to manipulate and bargain with.

X is for Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

🛐 Izuku worships you like nobody’s business and desperately wants nothing more than you to be happy with him. He’s willing to give up just about anything and do just about whatever you want to achieve this goal. Not to mention, he’s incredibly patient.

Y is for Yearning: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

😍 Izuku would probably pine for only a short while before realizing there’s no way he can win your love normally with his constant blushing and stuttering. However, the planning time would force him to wait much, much longer to actually go through with the kidnapping.

Z is for Zero Tolerance: What is the thing that always makes them snap? What things will they not allow their darling to do under any circumstances?

0️⃣ Izuku doesn’t really have a zero tolerance, to be honest. Fighting doesn’t hurt him, insults just make him sad, and escape attempts just make him up security. More likely, punishment comes when it’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊 👊

[northwest-cryptid]

I'm going to sound absolutely deranged for a moment, by a moment I mean a while because I have a lot to say here. However, I really want to talk about the very nature of reality and virtual reality and what my thoughts on it are; and for the record; provided you're polite about it I will absolutely take asks on the subject because yea I know I sound kind of delusional here but whatever man.

Anyways, absolutely insane rambling below this so here's your dashboard saving "Keep Reading" break.

Okay cool now that all those who are TOO WEAK to handle absolute WALLS of text are gone, only us STRONG enough to survive the winter shall know the truth!

... I jest.

However, if you're here it likely means you actually want to know my thoughts on this shit and honestly that's pretty cool so thank you for that, like really I realize I have no idea who you are and you might be reading this years after I post it (which is an insane concept) but thanks for deeming either this subject or my thoughts interesting enough.

Without further hesitation then, allow me to explain why I think Virtual Reality and Meat Space Reality are literally equals. Yea, you absolutely read that correctly, I believe 100% that things within Virtual Reality (or VR for short obviously) are just as REAL as things within meat space. However before you go clicking off this because that claim sounds insane and stupid to a great many people, please hear me out. You've come this far, may as well right? Sunk cost fallacy and all that.

So here's the thing, in the early to mid 1990's we added the word (or words) "Meat Space" to the dictionary, it's defined as "the physical world and environment especially as contrasted with the virtual world of cyberspace" so right out the gate I think it's important to understand a few things about the way we use language and definitions.

I will not blame you at all for saying "it's semantics dude, no one cares so deeply about definition you're reaching." I get it, but again; stick with me for a bit here.

We clearly differentiate the Virtual World, or Cyberspace from the Physical World, however notice that we're yet to touch on the words Reality and Virtual Reality. We'll get there, but first a slight detour because I want to quickly talk about Cyberspace.

What the fuck IS cyberspace anyways? Well it's anything Virtual, and for the sake of explanation; Virtual is basically anything non-physical, but more specifically things stored, or run by computers.

That means that the Internet itself is Virtual, it belongs to and is in part; cyberspace. I'd make the argument that the Internet itself IS Cyberspace as a whole if our physical Meat Space is encapsulated by the known universe, then the internet is the known universe for anything Virtual/Cyberspace. I hope you're still following me so far because it's about to get a lot worse here in a bit so hang in there.

So let's look at it like this, the internet as a whole is the known universe of anything Virtual or the world we would call Cyberspace. We also know that anything Virtual is simply anything that is stored on, or run by computers; and is not of the physical world.

Does that mean it's not real?

Well what does it mean to be real? This might sound like some kind of deep philosophy question but it's actually not, I mean come on we literally have definitions of this stuff. We know the difference between fiction and non-fiction.

Simply put Fiction has a really weird definition in today's age, because by definition it's just "something that is invented or untrue" so we know it's something that is created and also is not real.

Alright so let's do a quick exercise here right...

I'm going to show you something and I want you to tell me (or really yourself because you know, I'm not actually HERE I'm just leaving these words behind and you're reading them so tell yourself) if this thing/person/character is Real/Non-fiction or Fake/Fiction.

We'll start with an EASY one, this is the cast of the classic anime from the 90's; Cowboy Bebop. So I'm asking you, are these characters real?

Objectively, no. They're fictional. They may resemble real people, they might share qualities that real people have, wear outfits or style their hair like real people. However they actually don't "style their hair" or "wear outfits" they're just drawn characters.

They are voiced by real actors, they are drawn by real artists, and they are ultimately designed by real people. However they themselves are not real. They are entirely fictional entities they do not have free will, a conscious of their own; or whatever you personally believe to be a "soul" whether you're a spiritual person or otherwise you know these things are just depictions of people. They're not alive and they cannot think for themselves.

Alright well then, here's the cast of the tumblr classic meme show Seinfeld, now my wording here might sound like a trick question but I promise you it's not; just hear me out... Are these people real?

Objectively, yes. These are real human actors; sure their characters on the show are not actually real people. They're invented characters sure, but the actual actors playing them are real and we're looking at those people.

Now you might be asking "well hey hold on, you said that Cowboy bebop characters were fake even though they're also voice acted by, drawn by, and designed by real people; so why do you feel like these characters are REAL but those characters are FAKE?"

To answer that, I need you to again realize that my wording was specific, and I didn't intend for it to be a trick question at all. If you had said "no those characters are not real" you're correct, however you need to realize I asked "are these PEOPLE real" the PEOPLE voice acting for, drawing/animating; and ultimately bringing the characters to life in Cowboy Bebop ARE real people, but we're asking about the characters. Likewise the people acting for the characters in Seinfeld are real but the actual characters they're portraying are not.

Alright so we've sort of established a baseline understanding here so far right?

Even if you don't agree with everything I've said I hope you can at least follow my line of thinking here.

A person who exists within Reality is Real. If that person plays a character who is created and untrue then the character is Fictional while the Actor playing them is Real or Nonfiction.

So let me ask a few more questions here; this one is a bit of a curve ball and I don't want you to worry about whether or not you're "right" or "wrong" on this, but I want you to see if you can sort of predict my understanding of this, see things as I do.

Here is a Vtuber, a character played by a human actor who portrays a character on youtube to stream video games and even act in an anime. This character's name is Gura, and she's widely popular within the company of Hololive/Cover amassing well over 1 million subscribers. However, the question we're concerned with here is whether or not Gura is a real person.

Objectively... that's a bit of a toss up isn't it? I mean no, clearly GURA as a character is not actually real. There's no shark girl running around streaming for people from Meat Space. Now yea I know people very rudely went and dug up who actually plays Gura to make a point about her physical appearance and shit; but we're not concerned about that because at the end of the day that's just shitty. What matters to us here is that we understand that Gura is in fact played by a real person. There is a real human being not just voicing Gura, but actively using Gura's virtual flesh (for lack of better words) to portray herself within a stream. That person is real, they exist in Meat Space, and their motions are being mimicked by Gura, but on her own Gura is nothing. Gura is a set of PNGs that overlap in such a way to resemble a person. Everything about Gura's personality, and the reason I mentioned that she has become so wildly popular is because that's all from her Actress. The person actually portraying Gura or rather the person Gura is being controlled by is the individual so many people have found they enjoy watching. She's very human and when she's not playing up a character she's just like any other streamer (and I mean that in a good way). So then where do we exactly put that line between real and fake?

Well here's how I look at this.

With a fictional character who is created to specifically have lines of dialogue in a show, their actor is not actually lending their personality to the character. They simply voice the lines, and I'm not saying that is easy or that it lacks any sense of personality or personal improv. I'm saying that the character is the character, at the end of the day if I'm hired to be a VA (Voice actor) for a character I'm not bringing my personality to this character to the point where any of my friends would hear the character speak and say the things they do or act the way they do and say "that's Cryptid!" They'd likely say "Cryptid voiced this character" but they wouldn't believe the character to BE me. Because while I might be able to insert some of my personality or personal way of speaking into the character's dialogue at the end of the day I'm following a script, the character will always be animated to do what they do; say what they say; be who they are. That doesn't mean I'm not real as the actor behind them; it means they are not real and I am simply a real actor voicing the lines for them. I give them my voice but they are still just a drawing on a screen.

If a fictional character however is used as a sort of virtual flesh for someone to inhabit and present themself through; this is where things sort of blur the line for me. Because while the actress herself isn't actually a shark girl with magic powers or whatever; Gura IS her actress. Slap anyone else into that mass of PNGs and the personality isn't there, suddenly the Gura we have come to know doesn't exist and we're left with this new individual who speaks, acts, and is; different. So Gura can only really exist when she IS her actress. This can be said of any of Hololive or even Holostar's talent.

So then is Gura fictional or non-fiction? She's arguably both. The character of Gawr Gura is fictional, but if we're talking about her personality, or the person representing Gura; well that actress IS non-fiction. She's real.

So let's take this one step further.

Is Gawr Gura simply the Actress in Cyberspace, and is the Actress merely just Gawr Gura in Meat Space?

Just, pause for a second here; stop reading and think about that.

I don't care if you don't know who Gura even is, if you've never seen her streams, if you have no idea what her "real identity" is or any of that; because arguably none of that matters.

If you're having trouble wrapping your head around it, literally think about it as generic people and generic characters. The important reason I used Gura here is because of the situation she finds herself in.

A real human person with free will, conscious thought; representing themselves through a fictional character who lacks all that; but is given life through the human "piloting" their virtual flesh created from a bunch of PNGs overlapping in such a way to give the illusion of a humanoid person.

So now here's the thing that really gets me right...

One last question regarding what's real and what's fiction.

This is a map of the entire internet, every connection; every website being mapped out. Is this real or is this fiction? This is actually really simple but I really want you to think about this; everything you see in this image including the image itself is merely made up of code, of pixels; it's entirely virtual and can only exist within Cyberspace. However, the question we're asking is whether or not this is REAL.

Once again I must say objectively; yes, it's real.

It has to be real, you're using it right now! If the internet was fictional (such as how we show magic in most fantasy settings) we wouldn't be able to use it (just like how I can't cast fireballs.) We're literally accessing the internet right now, so with this in mind; is something that is virtual or digital or that only exists within Cyberspace considered "fictional" or fake?

Well I think personally that there's literally two Realities that are equal but different.

We as people have created a second reality to exist within, we've literally created Cyberspace. It is Virtual REALITY. It's a Reality within a Reality.

To say Virtual Reality is Fictional wouldn't be entirely true, because the people creating it and portraying it and existing within it are all REAL.

"So are you saying that things that happen within Virtual Reality is all real?" I mean... Yes? No? Both? Both. Both is good.

I wish I was better at explaining this shit but try to stick with me on this one because I genuinely have so many thoughts on this.

Let me use the example from last night, my friend Inaki and I played through a world in VRChat in which we were escaping this old lab overrun with zombies. Do I really believe those events were real? Well no, they are virtual, those weren't real zombies obviously; we weren't really at any risk of dying or in any real danger. It was all simulation. However the actions we took were real, my friend Inaki is real; I am real.

I think the thing about it is that everyone judges Virtual Reality by the same set of rules as Meat Space Reality.

In Meat Space we typically define what's Real by the physicality of it, as well as by how our senses interact with it. Can we touch it? Can we see it? Can we feel it and taste it or smell it? If we it interact with all our senses then the thing must be Real right? Well sure within Meat Space, or the physical world that's not a bad judgement of things that aren't sentient. We can judge sentience by free will and basic instincts; an anime character for example is not sentient; they have no base instincts; they have no free will they are simply not alive.

A lot like those virtual zombies, they weren't really living things, all the actions they took were based on code and programming; or you know AI but people hear that word and freak out because they forget that AI has been around for literally like decades and only became a problem in the hands of the wrong people but I digress.

So then if something in Virtual Reality is sentient how do we judge whether or not it's Fiction or Non-Fiction? I'd argue entirely by it's thought processing. For example,

Let's use the example of Inaki and I walking down a dark hallway, our general thought process was to watch each other's backs, we were communicating where we were hearing sounds, where objectives were, what we were finding; when we had cleared objectives; what to be careful of. Our actions were coming from our ability to think through the situation at hand and determine objectively the best path forward.

Meanwhile you have the fictional virtual zombies who are not real people, they are controlled by an AI script that is basically checking off a list of potential situations. It's checking "is there a player here?" if the answer is yes, then it will go to "am I able to get to the player to attack them?" If the answer is yes it will then move to checking the distance between the player and itself and start moving towards the player to attack them. It's all running code, none of this is actual thought; it's just checks. There's no human thought here, there's no real actual free will or sentience behind the actions.

To me this is the defining difference in whether or not an entity within VR is real or not. At least, when it comes to the sentience of it.

So then wait a second; does that mean GURA IS REAL? I mean... kinda yea? It means that if we look at the question again, about what exactly Gura is, we can deduce that yes; Gura is simply the actress within Cyberspace, while the actress is simply Gura in Meat Space.

They are different but they are the same.

I think we view this whole thing way too narrowly by trying to define whether or not Virtual is Fiction or Non-Fiction when I believe Virtual exists as a sort of place between Fiction and Non-Fiction.

Thing of it like this:

To use that zombie world as an example yet again, we can use Virtual Reality as a sort of bridge between the real and the fake.

Obviously a virtual entity cannot effect me in Meat Space, it's non-physical and thus has no control over the physical world, but it can effect Virtual Reality, and since a projection of myself exists there and I can influence Virtual Reality through that projection of myself a virtual entity is able to effect this Cyberspace me with a simulated output being registered that I can perceive in Meat Space.

Basically to boil it all down, what I'm saying here is that Virtual Reality is a Reality of it's own that we can access through things like VR or through The Internet. However it is not bound by the same limitations of our own Reality in Meat Space because it works with a different set of senses and rules.

You can still see and hear things; but the feeling of touch or like smell/taste is absent. That being said, in Meat Space you have limitations based on your body, gravity, various factors brought by things like physics. Where as with Cyberspace we are essentially all given the power of creation at our fingertips.

This is where I'm going to sound absolutely delusional but I've gotten into creating models specifically to be used as avatars, and watching people go through all the rigging all the weight mapping, sculpting and defining these characters. I'm literally watching the birth of a virtual flesh that someone will occupy. It feels like watching some kind of digital god create new life.

However I will stop myself there before people start thinking I'm in need of some kind of medication for my delusional thinking.

I have plenty more thoughts on this subject but I honestly feel like I'd get a lot of hate from a lot of people if I continue to discuss it as intricately as I wish to.

I think the important thing to take away is that yes there is a difference between fiction and reality; and trust me when I say I know that difference well; and have my whole life. However there is a place that exists, that we as human beings created; that somewhat bridges that gap by allowing us to directly interact with a world of our own design in which we are not bound by the limitations of Meat Space. A place that by all definition exists as both Real and Fiction but can be interacted with and experienced in such a way that it is an equal in my eyes to Reality.

We call it Virtual Reality, we do not call it Virtual Fiction, or Virtual Fake Place. The very words Virtual Reality quite literally define themselves in such a fashion of what I'm saying. Virtual Reality is simply:

Virtual ( 1. not physically existing as such but made by software to appear to do so. / 2. carried out, accessed, or stored by means of a computer, especially over a network.)

Reality ( 1.the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them. / 2. the state or quality of having existence or substance. )

A world that exists, stored on and accessed by a computer over a network.

Virtual Reality is a Reality that is simply digital, not fictional, not fake; not any less than Meat Space.

We created the word Meat Space to serve a purpose, if we believed Virtual Reality and anything digital to simply be fake or less or fiction we'd simply have "The Real World" or "Reality" and "Fictional media" or "digital fiction" or something. Instead we understand Meat Space and Cyberspace or Physical Reality and Virtual Reality; both being their own Reality.

Anyways thanks for your time, if you've made it this far and don't think I'm stupid as fuck I appreciate you.

[femalegoloism]

oh no another opinion

im not really expecting anyone to read this but after thinking about it for so many days i just wanted to write everything down.

first off i want to start by saying that i believe caiti when she says she feels violated by what happened to her. her feelings are completely valid and it's disgusting that it came to a point where she gets to feel that way. but, with that said, i want to state a couple of things.

everyone in that room failed her. being 18 and exposed to grown adults and illegal drinking is a recipe for disaster. if you're bringing your 18 year old friend to a party with people considerably older than her and with alcohol involved i don't get why you would leave her unattended. or give her alcohol. or leave her alone in a room with strangers. and not only that, but refuse to take any blame for that and try to blame people that had no way of knowing (im talking about dream, in case that wasn't clear enough). you need to grow up and stop going live to talk about this as if it's your story to tell because by doing so you're digging yourself into a deeper hole and discrediting your friend's story because of all the inconsistencies. first you were too drunk to notice anything (even though you came with her and she's your best friend), but somehow still expected other people (who were also drunk and didn't even know her until that day) to notice how she was feeling. then you did notice, but decided to keep silent instead of defending your friend and taking care of her, even going as far as leaving her alone in that room when you noticed she was uncomfortable. you're a shit friend.

consent is a very tricky topic here, because i personally think different types of consent are cultural and depend on the type of crowd you're a part of in that specific moment. yes, verbal consent is very important, but to assume it always happens is delusional at best. maybe it's because i partake a lot in hookup culture (that is to say, i am not chronically online and leave my house and have normal human interactions in my day to day life). consent can be found in a lot of different things, like a hand to your shoulder, to a nod on your head, to a cuddle. it shouldn't be like that, but in mainstream culture that's just how things are. do i think that's okay? absolutely not. but just because i perceive it like that doesn't mean every single person does. my main issue with that in this specific situation is the power dynamics that play into it. if it were normal people i wouldn't really give it that importance but george being a really big and important creator really changes things. he holds some power over her, whether he realises that or not, and just because of that explicit consent should always be expected. now i don't think he's really aware of how this power dynamic works out for him (seeing as he spent most of his life stuck in his room, never really went out, got drunk or even interacted with other people apart from his close friend group until he moved to florida) and he's still navigating through it. i don't think he understands how someone may feel pressured to act fine around him or play into his games just because he is who he is. and now this brings me to my next topic.

george is not an assaulter. he's a dumbass boy who was drunk and needs to learn about boundaries and put himself in women's shoes for a minute to understand the shit we have to go through everyday. i don't think he did anything purposefully and wanted to take advantage of anyone. he touched a waist. that's it. i get that it can be uncomfortable for her and that he should've asked for explicit consent before doing that because he didn't knew her to just assume body language but that is not sexual assault. they were both drunk and he had no indication that what he was doing was bothering her. i can understand why he thought it was okay (laughing, smiling, getting up and sitting back next to him, deciding to stay even after her friends left) and i can also see how caiti could do this to avoid awkwardness. at the end of the day, it all was just a big misunderstanding. that's why you need to communicate when you're engaging with someone. you need to ask if they're feeling okay, but you also need to reassure that person that you're comfortable or like what's happening.

what really irked me about this is the rape rhetoric used by caiti in her statement. i don't want this to sound as victim blaming, because it's not, i just don't understand it. i've been thinking about this since i watched her stream and i need to get my thoughts down, so bear with me. when i first watched everything i thought he was touching her in private parts or straight up groping her, i even said so to my irl. i don't actually remember the actual words used, so forgive me if i say anything wrong, but i remember her saying things like feeling stuck in place and like she couldn't escape, feeling dirty months after it happened and not knowing how to make it stop. i don't know her or what she's been through to have such a strong reaction to what happened, but at the end of the day it was just your waist getting touched and you being uncomfortable. it's not okay. but you weren't raped, you weren't groped. telling things in a way that implies you were, i don't know if purposeful or not, is disgusting. by doing that you're diminishing the experiences of a lot of different people that have gone through so much worse things.

people projecting their trauma into this situation is why it became such a sensitive topic. your experience is not caiti's. don't pretend like you went through the same thing because you didn't. people think that just because they'd been SAd (i have been too! it's not important to the story though) they are more capable of forming opinions or treating this more critically are wrong. it's the opposite. you are not being rational about this and you are not being critical, you are being triggered and blowing things out of proportion. from the bottom of my heart, seek help, you need it.

ccs need to stop being so performative. as dream said, support victims because they deserve it, not because it's convenient. some of them are so scared to lose their platform they become so spineless it's actually scary. i'm not naming names, but i think that if someone reads this they'll know what i'm talking about.

this is a more direct "attack" (not attack, really, i just don't understand) but i'm still not going to name anyone. you can't say people need to stop being parasocial and just follow your lead in the same sentence. you're just saying stop being parasocial to these ccs but be parasocial to me instead and just do what i say because i actually know better. i don't understand why you're implying they're bad people and have always been when a week ago you were actively engaging with them and calling them your sibling. what am i supposed to take from that? why are you saying they're bad people now, when this came out, but were perfectly fine staying in their house weeks before this happened. if you know something, just say it. and i don't mean rumours, or things you've seen that are now taken out of context.

my final point, unless i came back to this later and have more to add, is that this could have been avoided if these people with platforms just learned how to communicate privately. dream asked months after that night if everything was fine, if something happened, and no one said anything. caiti continued talking to george (even if it was passive aggressive, or whatever she wants to call it) for months after it happened. isn't it better to just straight up telling him hey!! this happened!!! i didn't like it!!! or, if she wasn't ready to do it by then, just talk to him or one of his friends before going public with it. it's not a situation where he was made aware of the issue and continued being a cunt, he just had no idea of what was happening.

i wanna finish this by saying i don't hate them, i actually still like them (that can change as more information comes out). they need to grow as people and, for the love of god, go to therapy. but i don't think they're bad people or that this has to end their careers.

take care everyone

[yanderes-galore]

Hmm, I request spiderman (earth 616) with an innocent civillian reader, maybe he saved reader from danger or something and thats how the yandere stuff happened

I did some research as I am new to the comics! Got the basics, though. Aged up as usual.

Yandere! Spiderman with Civilian! Darling

Short Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Stalking, Obsession, Delusional behavior, Picture taking, Paranoia, Overprotective behavior.

- Peter/Spiderman is used to saving civilians every day.

- You’d think they’d all just blend together, just normal everyday people who look up to him as their hero.

- When it came to you, through some twist of fate, he couldn’t forget you.

- Peter couldn’t put his finger on it but something about you made his heart flutter.

- How you two met was how you’d think to meet a superhero, a disaster.

- One way or another you go from in danger to in the hero’s arms.

- You’re shocked but still very scared, clinging yourself to him and shaking.

- Peter thought he felt his breathing stop for a moment when you held him closer.

- He had never met you before but you managed to make him feel so weird.

- Once he got you out of harm’s way, he gave you a wave and headed off.

- “Try to keep out of trouble after this, okay?”

- Peter didn’t wish any harm to come to you… at the same time, however-

- He wanted to see you again….

- The hero already missed the way you clung to him with such need.

- It was weird to think such thoughts, the more he reflects on how he feels he realizes that-

- Yet he knew he needed to see you again.

- That’s how you end up with a web slinging stalker on your tail 24/7.

- Peter is awkward and still shy despite how much he’s matured.

- He knows he can’t just come up to you, a random civilian, as himself so casually.

- Not like his current solution is any better, though….

- Peter hates the thought of death or losing someone to injury.

- He also isn’t all that social.

- Which may be why he tries to justify what he does around you.

- He’s just watching over you to make sure you’re safe!

- If he doesn’t, then an innocent civilian like yourself could get hurt!

- He ignores the questions that excuse poses in his mind.

- For example, if that was really what he was doing then wouldn’t it put more people in danger?

- Just what was so special about you?

- Peter isn’t sure but he quickly falls into this obsession he has over you.

- Deep down he knows it should be wrong to watch you through your window or take pictures of you….

- But he feels he can’t help it.

- You’re just so attractive to him-

- He yearns to save you again just to tell you who he is.

- To tell you how much he loves you.

- Peter knows he can’t rush things.

- A relationship is sacred and it’s been awhile since he’s had feelings similar to this.

- He’d be an idiot if he rushed this.

- Someday he promises he’ll confess and make you his.

- Even if it’s hard to contain his excitement, he’ll muster up some patience.

- Saving you was probably the web slinger’s best decision in his book.

- “I promise I’ll protect you. Even if you don’t know who I am yet, I am always thinking of you.”

[celeste444spacey]

Manifesting to be ✨THAT✨ girl

confidence

Hello it girls of tumblr, it’s me again 🤍🤭

Now a lot of you may have issues with your self perception. You may not say good things about yourself, you may think bad things about yourself, you don’t feel worthy, you don’t feel loved or lovable, you don’t see yourself as attractive, you don’t see yourself as better than anyone and maybe you see yourself as a failure. Maybe you’re the kind of person that isn’t competitive because you think you aren’t worthy to even be in the race.

Is this you? Is it affecting you? Is it making you feel horrible and/ or making you pity yourself?

Well for starters, STOP PITYING YOURSELF

You are NOT a lost cause. You are NOT a charity project for yourself/anyone. You are ANYTHING but unworthy. You are LOVABLE. You are LOVED

period.

I will say this, it’s not easy to be confident. Even for a person like me who has been called confident since she was like 2. And it is hard to pretend that you’re confident too. I have also had my moments where I felt super unconfident about myself, of my abilities. And if you’re having one of those moments, you can take your time. It’s okay to sulk into those thoughts for a while. But it doesn’t have to be this way forever

But I will say, this little advice from our queen maddy perez is def a life changer

Now why do u think maddy is so loved? Why is she an icon and why is she termed as an it girl?

OFCOURSE IT IS THE CONFIDENCE!!!

it’s the key to be an it girl

Now a lot of people don’t like to work on their confidence. And here’s why you should be confident-

You get wayyyy more opportunities when you’re confident as opposed to when you’re not. People want people who know their self worth and are sure of their abilities to be around them. Be it a job opportunity, be it friends or maybe you’re signing up to be a model or maybe you’re signing up to a record label, maybe it’s an audition for a Netflix show, PEOPLE WANT CONFIDENT PEOPLE!

“Okay yeah yeah whatever you’re rambling on a lot can u just cut to the chase??” Sure.

HOW DO I BECOME CONFIDENT?

Master your mindset, your mind is your bitch it’s nothing but your slave. It thinks what u want it to think. So we start there. Confidence is just a mindset thing. No one is BORN confident ( although I like to think so in my case 😉🤭)

I don’t care how fucking unconfident or ugly you think you are. I need you to stop that right away and start thinking that you’re a goddess (cause guess what? YOU ARE). Start saying how amazing you are. Start being fucking delusional about yourself. Start having that blind faith in yourself. Start saying you have an amazing body and the prettiest person to walk this earth. Start saying how smart you are, how incredibly knowledgable you are, how easy it is for people to be jealous of u but they can’t help but adore you. Think about your celebrity crush and how smitten they would be if they laid their eyes on u ( Yes! Trust me it works as cringy as it may feel!) KNOW THAT IS IT YOUR LIFE AND EVERYTHING IS FAVORED YOUR WAY

Start saying good things about yourself. For once. And see how it changes your life. Fucking know that the default of the universe is things working in your favor and you getting your desires effortlessly. You are the only obstacle stopping your desires to come to you. Stop making your mind take stupid decisions about your personality and desires and make you feel horrible about yourself.

One of the tips I’ll give u is:

Act like you’re in a show. And you’re THAT character that is confident, that is THE bitch. Queen bee energy. That walks in a powerful way, that talks in a powerful way. AND THINKS IN A POWERFUL WAY. Blair Waldorf wouldn’t talk shit about herself. Maddy perez would never call herself ugly. Rihanna walks like she owns the place. Beyoncé is Beyoncé cause of her confidence babe

Cause if queen bey can do it why cannot you

So put on THIQUE on Spotify and start strutting around like the powerful goddess you are

cause after all this your world and everyone is just living in it

xoxo

k bye for now

[korereapers]

If I may pop in again and send more Adajima, haha, how about "relationships are built on trust, and i trust you"? 👀

The first time they manage to have a drink after Adachi is out of prison is, unsurprisingly, in Okina.

Adachi isn't really sure if he should go back to Inaba. It has been years, of course, but the town still brings back memories... and then there's the fact that he did murder two people in there years ago.

He looks up from his drink, his very first drop of alcohol in years. It couldn't be beer this time, of course. The fruitiest, most colorful cocktail sits in front of him, and he doesn't really remember what it's made of, but it's nice to the palate, and Adachi has drunk enough cheap beer and tapwater for a lifetime.

For now, at least.

Dojima sits in front of him, too, dark grey eyes that were cold as metal back in the day looking at him as if they were melting under an anvil.

Adachi wishes he got it.

The man, now older but still so, so handsome is drinking an alcohol-free beer.

Sober, he wants to be completely sober, Adachi reminds himself. He wants to be sober for Nanako, of course, but also for himself. And this time, also for him.

Alcohol works in funny ways, Adachi knows that. Put enough in your body, and it will make your shame and self-consciousness go away. Put in a little more, and you start saying or doing shit you will later regret. Put in way too much, and it makes you dig your own grave, slowly, deeper and deeper. Until sadness and apathy make it impossible to climb back up.

Dojima's hand is resting near his, almost touching him, and Adachi wants to close the small gap, but he can't.

His smile is small, contrasting with Dojima's one, that feels way too big, way too honest. Adachi has never been too good at dealing with honesty.

"You're really that happy to have me back, huh..."

Dojima snort, as if Adachi had said something really stupid. Adachi just sighs, drinking from the little strap. It tastes of cranberry, orange, and peach. And well, of hungover if he keeps drinking them like they're water.

"I don't really see why not."

Adachi's sigh is louder this time.

"Who's to tell that I won't start killing people again when I get bored?"

"But you won't."

Adachi is not drunk enough for this shit.

"And how do you know that? Are you sure you're not just being delusional?"

He can feel Dojima's forearm twist in anger. For a moment, Adachi wants him to hit him, to show him that nothing has changed, that he is right, that there is no hope, that this was all a mistake.

What Dojima does, instead, is grabbing is hand. It's a weird gesture coming from him and Adachi watches it all happen in slow motion. The way rough lips brush against his knuckles, choosing to cherish, and not to hurt. He just watches him, speechless, until Dojima decides to talk again.

"Relationships are built on trust, and I trust you," is everything that Dojima says. Gentle, honest. More than what Adachi deserves.

Dojima smiles against his skin, knowing he has rendered him speechless. He feels his ears boiling, even more when a thumb brushes against his hand. He is pretty sure that it's not just the alcohol at play.

"Okay... well..."

Dojima's breath tickles his skin as he speaks.

"That's what I thought."

[ikamigami]

Absolutely WILD that someone told you not to vague post THAT PERSON while THAT PERSON literally BLASTED YOUR NAME for everyone to see while calling you disturbing for relating to a suicidal character which led people to talk horribly about you and plummeted your mental health. But oh no! You're bad for talking about them without even mentioning their name /sarc LIKE??? You have feelings too! Why excuse THAT PERSON??? Because they're a big blog? Honestly fuck that anon and fuck THAT PERSON

Thank you, dear anon 🥹💗

Also yeah.. that anon said that they don't mean harm.. and you know what? I realized that for them it wasn't probably that serious cause even if they said that I'm disturbing.. they had the audacity to tell me that they were laughing at my theories - that person and their friend - and.. it hurt.. cause I was genuinely scared that Sun may kill himself..

But what hurt the most was when that person just when they found out form someone else who tried to defend me but they thought that it was actually me.. when they found out that I was passively suicidal..

They just said that no one knew.. and in the same sentence they felt okay to call me disturbing and that I was dragging everyone to these conversations?! When that's not true!

No one knew.. but when I tried to say that I relate to Sun and explain why I think that he might be suicidal.. they didn't listen, screaming you're projecting! ...

But apparently they can relate to other characters, they can project their own experiences onto these characters long before we learn how things are in canon..

But apparently I can't..

I was spiraling after what that person said.. I started panicking.. my breath was heavy, I was lightheaded and shaking.. tears started falling down my face.. and suicidal thoughts appeared.. but it weren't words.. I saw vivid scenes of cutting my arms with various sharp objects and jumping off high places.. the only thought that crossed my mind was that maybe I really should just kill myself after all..

I was scared.. and I was thinking to myself "you're so stupid, where these thoughts came from? you don't want to do that.." but it didn't change anything.. that I was feeling awful.. I was venting in my blog.. or rather I just wanted to get out just my feelings.. that maybe I should just delete everything what I wrote for sams..

I kept crying, I fell asleep feeling like shit.. I had awful dream where my family found out about my lies.. they found out that I'm not a good person.. because I was hiding the truth.. I was crying in my dream and later I was crying the next day..

I felt awful.. you may think that how can I remember all of this so vividly? I remember most of my dark moments in life.. things that I usually don't remember are if my words or actions were hurtful or not.. but not in the sense - I don't remember so it didn't happen.. no, I wish.. it's usually that "hmm I don't remember but if this person is hurt I mostly definitely said or did something hurtful.."

I just can't tell.. I can't.. I don't know.. especially if something is triggering my delusions I can't tell what's true and what isn't.. "they're all definitely right about me, I am disturbing and awful.."

I was struggling with depression long before this happened but I was in better mental state because I didn't hear that voice anymore.. but in fact I was in denial.. I wasn't doing as good as I thought..

And problems irl.. my own health problems and my family health problems and mental issues.. I was worried about them.. and all of this mixed with how that person and their friend treated me.. it caused my mental state to worsen..

I became paranoid and delusional and I thought that people will jump at me angry because I did something wrong.. because I'm bad.. I was experiencing hallucinations mostly auditory but sometimes visual as well.. but these things weren't anything big.. but I was scared I was jumpy.. I was irritated.. and I was depressed.. I couldn't sleep, I didn't have an appetite.. I couldn't concentrate on anything.. on any work.. I felt like my brain was made of cotton.. and had a really low mood..

And I admit that I was exaggerating about Sun.. because of my own mental state.. but I was afraid that he'll kill himself..

It wasn't the first time when I was projecting onto a fictional character.. but you may call me dumb but I didn't know that I was doing that.. because I wasn't aware that I'm not fine.. I just thought that I like angst and I like torturing my favourites.. only fairly recently I realized that I was projecting.. and I realized that I was doing it to cope.. yeah it sounds stupid that I didn't know that.. but that's how it is..

Also what was awful.. is that even when I apologized for being rude and exaggerating.. it didn't change how people saw me.. there's nothing I can do about it.. it is what it is.. people believed that person because they're famous in this fandom.. and I'm nobody so it had to be true that I'm disturbing, raging and obsessed fan that wants Sun to kill himself - and that was what hurt the most.. that people think that I wanted Sun to be suicidal and depressed.. when in fact I was scared that he is suicidal and depressed.. that he has depressive psychosis.. I was scared about it.. but for people I was awful..

Thankfully I have very loving family and i met caring friends here and even wonderful anons like you.. you all helped through my lowest moments.. I can't thank you all enough for this 💗🫂

I'm sorry for this vent.. I just want to share my feelings about all of this..

I hope you don't mind, dear anon 💗

Thank you and all of you who support me for being so kind and caring and understanding.. thank you 💗🫂

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 143 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: mowing the lawn.

BASIRA: "Eyes peeled." [PAUSE.] JON: "Was that a joke?" BASIRA: "Yeah." That is exactly my kind of joke! xD Absolutely love it!

BASIRA: "Where is everybody?" MANUELA: (scoffs) "Go to hell!" JON: (overlapping) "Answer her." [BIG, BOOMING STATIC AGAIN.] MANUELA: "They’re dead. Because of you.” So yes, following up on MAG 141 (Jon telling Floyd to take a break, though that seemed to be more hypnotic than compulsive), can Jon just tell people what to do, is that something that was included in the latest compulsion patch? I don't think it happens again... Yeah, Jon tells Manuela (and also Peter in MAG 159) "tell me", but that’s just a follow-up to the question he already asked.

"Three hundred years from the failure that birthed the thing that preached from the depths of Maxwell Rayner." Wait, so is it not Halley in there anymore? Or am I taking it too literally, and it was still him but now one with the Dark.

"It was to be a week of night and horror, culminating in the eclipse that passed over Ny-Ålesund on the 20th of March, 2015" So on the 15th of March/May/whatever it was still the buildup phase of the ritual. Which was convenient for Gertrude, because she didn't have to rely so much on just one specific point in time to get her plan done. (Didn't work out in the end though, but well...) Also coming back to March/May, May for the Hither Green collapse doesn’t make any sense. MAG 11 was in March, in MAG 40 Elias says March. In rl the eclipse in Norway was also on the 20th March 2015, not May. 

"To begin our seven day feast, we slew the still and lightless beast, and drank of its stagnant blood, submerging the first of the sacrifices in the brackish water it had blessed with its stillness." The Lightless Beast was my favorite monster, RIP v.v So sad it ended that way, I wish there would have been more. Whenever it got some screen time, I got goosebumps.

"But I remember her brute of a husband. He fed the beast for us, you know, when first he believed Lynette might still be saved. Then, later, we faithful served as his fuel to banish it." Okay, am I understanding this correctly: First Robert Montauk fed the beast, then he tried to banish the beast. So which one of those two where the hearts for? I'd say banishing it? Because he did that right until he got arrested, so if the banishment came later, that would match. Also in that moment, when he stabbed the heart, the beast vanished (and that blue light - the light also probably being more a sign of banishment than feeding). Also Rayner says “You didn’t think you could kill it for long, did you?" Kill it sounds more like banishing. What was feeding it then? Those victims on the photos with the symbols on their faces?

"That’s the thing about darkness, isn’t it? You try your hardest to eradicate, flood your surroundings with light, but it’s always there at the edges, waiting for the glow to weaken, to return and cover you forever." Hmmm. If I recall correctly, that is what they used in Lights Out, the feature length film to the eponymous short movie it was based on. God, that short film was excellent, the feature length not so much. Some things only work as short stories and trying to stretch it out and add more and more makes it feel forced.

Just quickly pointing out that Manuela is such a theater kid... the drama of her phrasing! xD

This statement is, I think, the closest we ever get to "delusional" rambling of a cult member about their god(s). I very much dislike those, not because they're scary, but because I find them annoying. It’s the reason why I have such a hard time with The Silt Verses and it also annoyed me in Tunnels. It's just not something for me. And yet, while this statement also has the overly dramatic tone and rambling about worshiping and such, it doesn't annoy me. It's not that strong in a way that I have encountered in other stories. But, it's also not something I find particularly engaging for me.

BASIRA: "Ask her how we can destroy it." JON: "I know how. I just need to see it." The Dark is antithetical to the Eye. The Dark Sun, in its ritual purpose, is supposed to erase sight forever. A thing like this being actually seen by someone who is all about sight, who then even lived to tell the tale makes it lose its power. I love how everything makes sense in this goddamn podcast (except for a few timelines xD).

BASIRA: (overlapping) "Look, it’s okay, John. No one else knows it’s here. And if we just leave it, no one will know." JON: "No, I – (inhale) I’m doing this." What is it, that makes Jon want to see it so badly? (Eye-related) curiosity? Self-destructiveness? The wish to actually destroy the Dark Sun so they can be sure that it won't do any further harm? ... A little spider tugging him towards his second to last mark?

JON: “Get out.” [BASIRA LEAVES. THE ARCHIVIST TAKES SEVERAL STEADYING BREATHS, AND THEN OPENS THE DOOR.] [THE DARK SUN SOUNDS MELODIC, LIKE PIPES GROANING HARMONICS INTO THE WIND, LIKE THE MOURNFUL NOTES OF A CREAKING IRON GATE AS IT IS OPENED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS.] [AN ENORMOUS RUSH OF STATIC BEGINS BUILDING; IT IS NOT THE ARCHIVIST’S STATIC, IS MUCH TOO REEDY AND WISPY FOR THAT.] JON: "It’s – It’s beautiful." [THE STATIC OVERTAKES THE AUDIO FIELD; MANUELA GASPS AND SCREAMS –] MANUELA: "No – NO!" [ALL AT ONCE THE STATIC RUSHES AWAY.] BASIRA: "Jon!" Okay this is the scene I probably have the most critique for when it comes to its execution. But first I also wanna say that the "THE ARCHIVIST TAKES SEVERAL STEADYING BREATHS" ist great acting-wise again. Cause while these breaths are steady, they also get kinda trembling then. Like psyching yourself up to do something you're really afraid of and you are getting more and more afraid in anticipation. And there is a lot of emphasis on how afraid Jon is of his marks in this season (MAG 132 - "I'm scared? When does the fear go away?" / MAG 158 - Elias: "Are you scared, Jon?" - Jon: "Yes."). So, I personally think there should have been a biiiit more time between Jon saying "It's beautiful" and everything suddenly stopping and Basira coming back. It kinda loses weight for me here since it's so short, like it was nothing at all. Just a few more seconds to let it build a bit more, that is all. Am I the only one with this? Any opinions? Also did Jon collapse there again after Basira calls out to him? xD There is a "thud" to be heard before he answers. It's in neither the fan transcript nor the official one, but I'd say it's very clear.

[THEN A SOFT STATIC BEGINS TO FUZZ IN THE BACKGROUND. IT IS ONE WE KNOW, ONE WE HAVE HEARD MANY TIMES BEFORE. A DOOR CREAKS OPEN.] JON: "Did you catch her?" HELEN: "Yes." [THE ARCHIVIST GASPS: THIS IS NOT WHO HE HAD BEEN EXPECTING.] This is pretty much prove that no one can hear the staticky or squealing interference the Fears leave upon the tapes. Otherwise Jon would have already known it's Helen (or something else). I've read this a few times to be a little pet peeve for fan fictions and while I agree that I'd say it's not audible for the characters experiencing it live and it only distorts the tape, I do like to read them as a sort of change in atmosphere. Sort of like a gut feeling you get. The Distortion gives you a headache or makes you get a bit nauseous. The Vast gives you vertigo. With the Lonely it gets colder and such. Maybe not necessary every person is receptive to them, be it at all or just certain Fears, but I think it gives it a bit more spookiness.

HELEN: "How was it?" JON: "Hm?" HELEN: "Looking upon the Dark." JON: "I thought I was going to die." HELEN: "You seem to think that a lot. I remember when you thought you were going to die at my threshold." Classic Distortion move... Jon just had a horrific experience and Helen devalues it. And then she reminds him of another horrific experience like "Haha, remember that, good times"... Helen plays that game so much better than Michael did. She says things that really get me thinking for a long time after the scene.

@a-mag-a-day