#once i started thinking about examples of this i literally couldn't stop this is just me running through sc moments off the top of my head

[katalyist]

Life series!Grian a survivor not a traitor

Alternative title: I thought about Life series!Grian for too long again and because Tumblr doesn't have a character limit I'm putting my thoughts on the Internet.

I'm not normal in how while watching Cleo's secret life final episode there was a silent agreement that Grian was no loyal when they had that conversation with Scott when they were trying to convince Gem to be on their side.

"I mean, don't ask about Grian's loyalty"

And Scott response was "I have never seen a man drop a pair of sunglasses quicker in my life. As soon as Joel dropped, the bad boy glasses were off"

To which Grian responded "My boys died, what did you want from me?"

Like how is Grian seen has someone that betrays or isn't loyal to his teammates? HE IS LOYAL, HE IS JUST TOO COWARD. He has never betray a teammate first.

Look, for example to third life: He promised Scar his life, and altough he warns the rest of players at the beginning about the scams Scar was doing, he always do what Scar did, he helped him, he create traps and didn't thought on betraying him until Scar betray him first, until Scar did it, when he recovered he was so mad and just jump to them shouting out that Scar was a traitor. AND THEN when Scar apologies and offers Grian to have the win he refuses because he still considers Scar his ally, and then the cactus ring happens and he feels bad, he feels bad for killing Scar, I don't think a traitor would be that bad to the point of killing themselves

Then in last life, where he killed two of his four teammates and started his reputation as "allies killer". First of all, when he turned red he had the oppurtinity to just turn on them, sure, he went back to the nether and threat Mumbo, but it was mostly joking and I think the most messed up thing was how afraid he was of not having any teammates that he was willed his best friend but couldn't find the courage on himself. The next episode he has already a plan to go back with his team AND get Joel out of red, like- he planned a way to be back with his allies and get his new ally (that if I had to remember you, was the one that killed him, but Grian was perfectly with him because he understands it was for the red impulses) out of red. Once he gets his yellow life back and goes back to the southlanders for a happy teammate reunion and discovers Jimmy was exiled he doesn't hesitate in saying he doesn't want him back because he betrayed the southlands; they have the votation, he says 'no' inmediatly and is surprised that other people said yes but doesn't oppose to it.

When Mumbo and Jimmy turned red he didn't try to kill them until their few attempts of murder, he did not attack Mumbo when he tried to end cristal him, he didn't attack them, even when they had that terrible attempt of a trap for him and Martyn. He attacked them when Jimmy physically tries to punch him to the trap that he looses the little patient he had left and kills him and then Mumbo for trying to stop him. Then Martyn betrayed him because of the boogeyman curse and when Grian finds Impulse he sounds so wounded because of that but even then he doesn't try to go for him, he makes a plan with Impulse to put a Wither on the base of team B.E.A.S.T because they were one of the biggest threats. Once Impulse died he was back with Joel and he didn't betray or left him, even when he had the opportunity to join bigger alliances than him.

With that out of the way we arrive to the fatal Double Life, I feel that this is the catalyst of Grian's character misinterpretation, mostly because of the cheat situation but: 1, that him and Scar and soulmates doesn't mean they are allies (see the two pair of soulmates that were literally divorce) and 2, he really tried to protect Scar and be a good ally. He made a base, he warned Scar to not go to places he could die and he even trust him with the sugar cane, when he lost it he trust Scar the sand he isn't even that angry or dissapointed on him. It also applies to BigB, he was a great ally with him too! He gave him sugarcane, cookies, tnt, they didn't attack eachother and the only reason why he killed him was because he forgot BigB was soulmates with Ren in his red madness, he even had a funeral for him and apologise for killing him. That is not traitor behaviour if you ask me.

And then finally Limited Life (my excuse and the real season I wanted to talk because I haven't left that bread bridge), the season where Grian is in his most loyal teammate arc of all. He is a coward of course, he plays safe always, in every single season, and that is what ends up being one of the reasons why Joel ends up dead. The bad boys were too reckless and idiots (in an affectionate way, I love them) for him to not fear for their lives constantly, and yes they almost felt apart, but that was after Jimmy killed Grian. Grian left Jimmy get the kills, they were trying to save him, when Tango (the boogeyman) killed Jimmy he didn't took the two hours from him because that would had permakill him, at the end Jimmy didn't die because of him, he just slip from the platform. They had the funeral and all, he left diamonds at his grave as an offer.

With Joel it is a little different, Grian didn't betray him, he didn't kill him, but he wasn't there because he was afraid of dying, in the middle episode 7 Joel wants to murder the family because they wanted to kill Jimmy "It wasn't their fault he died" trying to persude him to not do that to which Joel answers "I'm gonna send Scar a message" and Grian almost begs "No Joel, you got to be careful or I'm gonna be alone. I'm gonna be a singular bad boy" but he doesn't follow him, he doesn't go to kill people with him because they don't have a plan and it's obvious they will die.

Grian is a survivor, when he notices things are getting ugly he looks for a way out. When Joel goes on his murderous rampage after they talk to BigB he reunite again with him and Pearl to offer himself as a ally, making a list of all the things he is useful for, selling himself because he knows he will be alone at the end of that episode and alone players are easy targets. At first he wants them to become bad boys, he doesn't want to leave the mark, but they refused, and a survivor has to do what they have to do. He isn't even hiding why he wants to be friends with them and they don't have a problem with that.

"I have already kind of accepted he's gonna die in a way" he says while making a trap for the nosy neighbours while watching how Joel died (again)

"I mean, you completely abandon him at this point" Pearl points out (and if I watched Pearl more I could talk about how Life Series Pearl seems to have really trust issues with people that is so confident in leaving allies behind because she keeps repeating how Grian is not with Joel, she is so 'I will die for you', and it was prove in the final of secret life, I love her so much).

And Grian doesn't deny it, he does try to excuse his behavior with a "Joel reaches a point where he just loses his mind completely and he was way past that a while ago. Jimmy's death has kind of got an adverse affect on him" just to be silent a second, finish placing the TNT cards and going "But I will have to go and see if he is okay in a minute"

He cares about his last truly ally even when he knows Joel will die, Grian can't just stand still and wait for it to happen "I'm gonna have to go and see if Joel is okay. He must be on less than an hour and if I don't say bye, I'm gonna regret it"

And once he is with Joel again he doesn't hide that he has allied with the nosy neighbours from him. It is the first thing he tells him actually "I've just been like making new friends because you have lost your mind". That is not betray behavior, that is not 'I'm gonna back stab you' or 'I'm leaving you now'. And Joel gets it, he gets that Grian is too coward to confront people directly, that he is not a pvper and accepts him like that. And then they have this conversation on Skynet while trying to get kills for Joel:

"Yeah, do you know what would be really funny? If I just knocked you off right now but I won't, I won't, I won't do that"

"I would do that for you. I would do that for you. Bad boys for life"

HOW IS THAT NOT LOYALTY? Grian, the one that is afraid of death, willing to die for his ally? Without hesitation answering that yes, he would do that for Joel. We have the hole "Kill me Joel. KILL ME" dialogue and scene after that even. Grian didn't wanted Joel to died, when he has five minutes Grian tries to tell him to kill him again before Joel denies. When they are going to see who Joel can kill is when he starts hesitating because he would lose two hole hours to get Joel back to just one hour, he is balancing saving his allies with keeping himself alive and at the end Joel's rampage ends up killing him and Grian is without his bad boy.

He enters in full survivor mode and downplays Joel's death in front of everybody but contradicting his discourse of 'It was getting expensive to keep him alive' once everyone is gone he tells Pearl and BigB they should have a funeral for Joel fully knowing they weren't his allies. He makes Joel a grave too, like they did with Jimmy and says some words for him. How could that not be loyalty? The last episode he uses the bad boy skin, all season he forgot to use it and had to be remember by the others to use it, and then he puts it even if he 'isn't a bad boy anymore' to honor his allies.

I think the most close he was to betray an ally was when at the end he enacted the sword and ally with Impulse and Etho whitouth talking it with Pearl and it ending with both Etho and Pearl killing eachother to be in peace. When they first met after Grian enactes the sword and Pearl goes to kill he tries to stop her, but he doesn't defend her (or Etho), he just tells them to stop. Grian character just... always leaves his allies do what they want? even if it is not the best for them, it is something he does with every one of his alliance really, he does his own and they do his own, Cleo actually points it out on their last episode while they are talking to the heart fundation and Grian gets bored and goes to do his plan to get Gem and Cleo is like 'yeah, he does his own things, don't pay attention to him'.

In Secret Life he was also truly loyal to the roomates, in part I think because he was afraid of loosing his only oportunitty to get some friends after three episodes of loneliness. Grian is always so desesperate to make allies every season, make people like him because it would mean someone would fight for him. The rommates is a very solid team and he reassures himself and they how he made the correct decision. They are not as attach as he was with his bad boys (that, talking about them, he had this weird no-alliance with Joel, changing hearts and not really attacking eachother until the very end) but it is stable.

Grian includes them in his plans, if they are not on board he respects it, but when he thinks it is something that can protect them he insists. He insists they should go to Joel's platform where he hide from the zombie apocalypse because it is the easiest to defend and they were chase by the people with more health on the server. When Etho died they took it seriously, when they are scaping he goes first through the portal that belongs to Gem, Impulse and Scott because "No point both of us dying" he could have left Cleo go first to be more safe but he didn't, he tries to make a trap to get Gem and the Scotts and he tells Cleo to back off because they would get hurt if they stay to close because he will manually activate it.

My conclusion? Grian is not a traitor, he has never betray his teammates until they cross the line first. He is a bad teammate? Oh, totally, not because he won't provide his allies with supplies or plans but because the moment it becomes dangerous, too risky for his constant safe plays he distants himself because he doesn't like risky plays, he is an expert in the 'long game' even if he won't win anything with it, he also has some kind of honor (if you want to put it that way) he won't attack the weakest unless he is corner to do it to keep himself alive, he always goes for the biggest alliance, the people with most hearts, the people with most potential of giving to bring them down with the rest.

As always thank you for reading how normally sane I'm about Life series Grian. Again, I write this mini kinda essays on the fly and don't check facts too much but Grian himself implying he is not loyal had me "are you sure about that?" and then this was write on my drafts. Thanks for coming to my Grian talk!

[youremyheaven]

Moon Dominance & Manipulation pt 3

I just keep finding more examples and I couldn't not share. They will vary in terms of the severity of abuse and manipulation. Some are quite silly but some are pretty fcked up. Salty Moon dominants who cannot stand being criticized, stay mad boo 😘you will never stop me from speaking my truth<3

One thing I have noticed about Moon dominant individuals is that they completely seem to believe the lies they tell others. They don't think they're being manipulative at the slightest because they fully believe everything they say, no matter how absurd or outlandish it is. This means that Moon dominants are easily influenced and can be manipulated easily even if they are also capable of blatantly manipulating and deceiving others. I see Moon dominants stuck in unhealthy relationships simply because they'll just play mind games with their partner until the day they die instead of just choosing peace.

Katrina Kaif, Hasta Moon

Katrina has lied about being half-Indian and half-white her entire career to be more "relatable" to Indians. no one knows who her father is or how exactly she grew up and how a British woman like her ended up modelling and acting in India at the age of 17. She's now one of the biggest stars in the country and to this day no one knows much about her background.

She is one of 8 siblings, all of whom are extremely white looking

it is possible that Katrina is mixed while her siblings are not but it's also possible that she just inherited a more olive complexion compared to her siblings??

this is a picture of Kat and some of her siblings as kids, this man vaguely looks like he could be POC but there are plenty of spicy white men who have darker features/hair & eye color?

if this is the father in question, his name is Ronald Turcotte (Katrina's birth name is Kate Turcotte, she "Indianized" her name to be Katrina Kaif when she made her debut 20+yrs ago) and this is a pic of him with his current wife:

He literally just looks like a regular white guy with some Italian ancestry or something.

Katrina has not only lied about being "half-Indian" but also said her father's name is Mohammad Kaif and that he was a Kashmiri businessman lmao

The producer of her first film who introduced her to Bollywood said:

 "We created an identity for her. She was this pretty young English girl, and we gave her the Kashmiri father and thought of calling her Katrina Kazi. We thought we'd give her some kind of Indian ancestry, to connect with the audience ... But then we thought that Kazi sounded too ... religious? ... Mohammad Kaif was at the top, and so we said, Katrina Kaif sounds really great" (for context, Mohammad Kaif is the name of a well known cricketer)

She once said:

 “Probably it may sound very stupid. You know you must have seen enough and your friends, how you have dark children who grew up to be fair. I was a very dark child so there was no way that you would look at me and say this is a Caucasian child. I was always viewed upon as oh how exotic or how ethnic."

Even Emily Ratajkowski is very non-white looking for a white woman, imagine if she started claiming that she "feels" ethnic as she "looks" ethnic.

Here are some excerpts from a 2011 interview:

The complicated politics of a tan skin white woman feeling validated by being comparatively light skinned in a deeply colorist country like India and lying about being half-Indian is just ..... 🤢🤮🤢

Bella Hadid- Hasta Sun

Bella, her brother and mother all suffer from a condition called "chronic Lyme disease". Gigi, the only person who does not have Lyme, has Hashimoto's disease.

Lets get a few things out of the way. Lyme disease is a real, entirely treatable and completely curable illness. All you have to do is take antibiotics and you'll make a full recovery in about 2 weeks.

Chronic Lyme disease is a different condition and widely debunked by the medical community for not being a real condition.

Wikipedia defines Chronic Lyme as:

"Chronic Lyme disease is the name used by some people with non-specific symptoms, such as fatigue, muscle pain, and cognitive dysfunction to refer to their condition, even if there is no evidence that they had Lyme disease."

That said, Bella and her mom have been talking about their struggles with Lyme disease for over a decade now. Medical professionals all deny the existence of this condition and both Bella and Yolanda (her mom) are treated by various quack, pseudoscientific "alternative" medicine practitioners who are more or less ill qualified and not real doctors.

When Bella was 16yrs old, she was arrested for driving under the influence and this was literally addressed on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the show that her mother starred in. Yolanda used to write a blog for Bravo in which she expressed her thoughts about this incident and she also mentioned writing a long letter to Bella.

Yolanda's dad died in a car accident when she was 7 and she was very frightened by Bella's accident but also relieved that neither she nor anybody else was injured.

That letter she wrote was somehow leaked and is available on the internet. Here it goes:

Interestingly enough, Bella was diagnosed with "chronic lyme" 👀in the same year. Bella once mentioned that she started smoking cigarettes at 14yrs old and clearly by 16 she was drunk driving with a cocktail of substances stashed in her car. Bella's old tumblr blog that has been widely circulated also reveals that she struggled with an eating disorder at this time and perhaps depression as well.

I mention all this because I have always suspected Bella of using "chronic lyme" as a cover up for her struggles with substance abuse and her eating disorder. Even all the symptoms for chronic lyme are so vague that pretty much anybody could experience them, but their occurrence is greatly exacerbated if one suffers from stress/anxiety/is abusing drugs etc (more on this in a minute).

In an interview, Bell said of her DUI:

"I stopped driving because I kept crashing, because my brain just stopped working.’ She had an accident — ‘It was when I first got sick. It was a dark time’ — which was reported in the press as a DUI. ‘I was exhausted all the time. It affected my memory so I suddenly wouldn’t remember how to drive to Santa Monica from Malibu where I lived. I couldn’t ride. I was just too sick. And I had to sell my horse because I couldn’t take care of it.’ It was an emotional blow on top of the physical."

Now the thing is, Yolanda mentioned in her own blog post that Bella went to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings as mandated by the court:

"I decided to take her phone away, make her pay for her own lawyer bills from her savings, and we sold her car. The court suspended her license for one year, she received six months probation, and was required to conduct 25 hours of community service and 20 hours of AA meetings."

She likely stopped driving because Yolanda got on her ass and sold her car lol?? As Yolanda herself said??? Yolanda never said one word about Lyme and she's pretty much the self-appointed spokesperson for Lyme so the fact that in her own blog post literally right after the accident, she addresses the issue for what it is makes Bella's later remarks of her being tOo siCk tO drIvE sound like a lie 🤥

This is an easy example of how Moon dominants manipulate the truth to suit their narrative and make themselves look better. Bella made her debut later that year and it would look bad if everyone saw Bella as a spoilt bratty nepo baby who was also a teenage alcoholic riding her sister's coattails into modelling. Also you have to remember, Bella was the less popular sister back then and she only became an icon and it girl by like 2019ish.

It suited Bella and later Yolanda to keep pushing the chronic lyme agenda to win sympathy.

Also just btw, I think Yolanda is super fucked up and this letter offers an interesting look into her mind. She is Uttarashada Sun and Jyeshta Moon and I think its sooo bizarre how her daughter almost died in a car crash and all she can talk about is how dirty and messy the car is??? Why isn't she talking about Bella being drunk out of her mind or about her alcohol habit in general??? Why is she not pointing out her actual concerning lifestyle instead of "oh my god youre soooo messy and im soooo sad" ??? anywayyys

Ever since then, chronic lyme has been Bella's go to to describe everything about herself. Symptoms that could easily be from stress, anxiety, depression, addiction, starving herself etc are all blamed on a non-existent condition. When actual doctors say the condition does not exist and you and your mom claim it does, I think it says something 😬

Also, Yolanda was sick during the filming of her reality show and it was found out that her breast implants had ruptured and the silicon was leaking into her bloodstream and making her sick. She later said it was Chronic Lyme instead lmfaooo. So there is plenty of proof that both mom and daughter are just making this shit up.

one thing I cannot stand about Moon dominants is how they constantly seek validation for everything they do and love to win sympathy. Meghan Markle, Hasta Moon is another example. Sympathy capitalist, Selena Gomez (Cancer stellium) is another example.

What exactly was Bella trying to prove by posting pictures of her looking very out of it?? To prove to people that she is indeed sick?? There are many celebs out there who struggle with chronic illnesses, are they posting pics from their treatment??? Overall, it feels very "🥺🥺poor me, im so grateful despite everything, im so strong, look at how much i suffer and struggle!!!" as if she's trying to downplay any privilege bashing she may get by counteracting it with a "im extremely sick" narrative bc no one can hate on someone who is ill even if that is a fictional illness.

There were rumours all of last year that she took a break from modelling to go to rehab and she had also broken up with her then bf.

look at those symptoms and tell me you haven't experienced those at some point lmao. I used to struggle with severe anxiety many years ago and an eating disorder several years ago and I experienced pretty much all of those symptoms. I say this because those symptoms by itself are really vague and not specific to any one illness.

another really sus issue is why Bella felt the need to post pics of her medical history??? like she's a model not running for President lmao,,,, its obvious that she really wants to be perceived as struggling with chronic lyme. Most people with a health issue stay quiet about it (their issues are also actual illnesses but oh well)

This is a screenshot of a lab test she posted:

A clinical lab scientist who performs tests on infectious diseases (like Lyme) said:

First off, having this amount and varied pathogens within your body at once is not impossible but is highly unusual. Even one of these pathogens would make a patient extraordinarily ill. If I were performing PCR and got that many positives, I would 100% not release results until a consult with an infectious disease MD.

In that list, there are bloodborne bacteria and viruses, intestinal parasites, many of which have nothing to do with Lyme disease.

That last page is important. The source states "urine". There are virtually no PCR tests performed on urine currently because pathogens are not usually shed through urine and often urine is contaminated by urogenital flora. This is the ARUP tickborne PCR panel which details out which pathogens would be tested for and the type of sample they would need (blood). ARUP is a large reference lab in the US and performs some rare tests. Again, it's extremely unlikely to see that many pathogens positive in one sample.

All of this is to say, Miss ma'am Bella Hadid faked her hospital records by paying some quack guy for it and put it on IG for sympathy 😬💀💀

I have nothing against Bella, I think she's iconic but her spreading literal medical misinformation to millions of impressionable people who eat up her every word is absolutely dangerous, unprofessional and awful and I sincerely hope she's called out/exposed for it.

first of all, none of these words mean absolutely anything.

"energy is in proper balance" ??? "alkaline tissue pH"? ?? just say you dont have a medical degree and goooo

On this document it says the test was conducted by 'Manhattan Advanced Medicine'.

Here is an excerpt from Manhattan Advanced Medicine's LinkedIn page:

Do they sound like legitimate doctors to you?? They're just one of those scammy New Age-y alternate medicine places that rich people with money to blow, go to, so they feel better about themselves.

I sincerely hope Bella gets actual treatment for her real struggles with mental health/ED/potential substance issues etc and I hope she has the strength to admit to herself that she's using a fictional narrative to gain sympathy from others and as a coping mechanism to avoid dealing with her real problems. Bella grew up as the middle child and felt neglected by Yolanda pretty much, some say that the whole "chronic Lyme" has probably become the only bonding activity for the two of them and the only time Bella felt like she was loved by her mom (which is so sad) which is why she's been going on with it for 10yrs now. Whatever it may be, I hope they all get better.

Elizabeth Holmes- Shravana Sun

Many of you are probably already familiar with scammer Liz Holmes

She was founder and CEO of Theranos, a blood-testing company.

Prosecutors accused Holmes of intentionally misleading investors and patients. Out of the more than 200 blood tests advertised, the in-house “Edison” machines could perform a very small number themselves and could not provide accurate results. Holmes is also alleged to have lied about the scale of the company's profits. 

Two of the most striking examples of the Theranos machines’ faulty test results were two female patients. One of the women was diagnosed as HIV positive but the finding was refuted by further blood tests. A second woman who had suffered several miscarriages received test results from Theranos during her pregnancy which indicated that she had lost her baby once again. The test was faulty and she later gave birth to a healthy baby. Internal emails, however, revealed that the start-up concealed the erroneous results from investors and business partners by using a modified demo device or by partially hiding test results from them. 

The prosecution also presented a 55-page report in which Theranos officials added the logos of pharmaceutical companies GlaxoSmithKline, Pfizer and Schering-Plough to give the impression that they had approved the technology. However, a scientist employed by Pfizer testified that he found the start-up’s claims to be implausible and advised Pfizer not to collaborate. The prosecutors were able to show that Theranos had nevertheless sent the report with the subsequently inserted logos to investors and business partners. 

The interesting thing about Moon dominants and their manipulation is that unlike Saturn which is direct and in your face with how awful it is, Moon natives deceive and pretend. You will never realise the truth until you learn to look for it. With a Saturnian, you can always tell because they dont know how to hide it.

Moon does not have any light of its own. Moon also does not have a fixed form. Its waxing one day, waning the next. So it makes sense as to why these natives "manipulate" or "distort" the truth, since its kind of in their nature, to do so?

This brought me to an interesting observation of how Moon dominants seem to completely fall for pseudoscientific stuff. Bella, whom I already mentioned is one example but there are many more.

So, in Hinduism, the Moon God is named 'Soma' but the word 'Soma' is also used to refer to an intoxicating drink.

In the Vedas, the word Soma was actually primarily used for an intoxicating and energizing/healing plant drink and the deity could have received his name from the drink potentially?👀

The Hindu texts state that the Moon is lit and nourished by the Sun, and that it is Moon where the divine nectar of immortality resides.

In some Indian texts, Soma is the name of an apsara; alternatively it is the name of any medicinal concoction, or rice-water gruel, or heaven and sky, as well as the name of certain places of pilgrimage.

Whilst this connotation can explain their dizzying relationship with presenting the truth and how absolutely convinced they are of their own lies (Moon dominants manipulate others but are also easily manipulated tbh, they are both predator and prey). I think mythological backdrop also explains why so many Moon dominants are always kind of on the hunt for the elixir of life by adopting all kinds of New Age-y, holistic, spiritual 'alternative' medicine/lifestyle/treatment etc.

The thing is, there is truth to herbal remedies and holistic living but Moon dominants seldom pursue the truth of these practices, they always pick the weirdest, strangest stuff that absolutely helps no one and is most definitely a scam.

Gwyneth Paltrow- Hasta Sun & Mercury, Rohini Moon, Venus in Ashlesha atmakaraka

Lady Goop is a classic example of how Moon dominants can be very deluded with their "alternate" therapies/lifestyle. Moon dominants are easily confused and the path of wellness and spirituality is paved with many distractions to weed out the unworthy. Many get lost in this completely and mistake this Maya for the truth. Miss Gwyneth is one of them.

I have beef with this bc some of Goop's stuff is stupid but harmless (vagina candles, anyone?) but other times, she literally spreads dangerous medical advice to a very large audience (just like Bella).

On her website, she has an article about how to treat 'Candida' (a real condition which she has approached in a very pseudoscientific way). The symptoms, like Bella's, are vague, and include bloating, dandruff, sugar cravings, a bad memory and fatigue. Diagnosis includes something called a urine organix dysbiosis test (Bella's diagnosis also included a liver dysbiosis lmao) , while treatment involves limiting yourself to one piece of fruit a day and “overpowering the yeast” with anti-fungal supplements.

In 2017, Paltrow suggested women should insert a $66 egg shaped jade or rose quartz stone into their vagina to help “increase vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general.” Users were encouraged to thread dental floss through a purpose-built hole to help with releasing the egg. After facing backlash from gynaecologists over its dubious health claims and potential harmful results including toxic shock syndrome, Goop settled a $145,000 lawsuit for “unsubstantiated” marketing claims.

In Daoist sexual teachings, this is actually a legit practice but a white woman appropriating it and then selling it does not sit right with me :// and also its to be used along with a strict spiritual practice and has to be performed according to proper techniques. Obviously eastern spirituality is suuuper commercialized in the west and its reduced to sticking jade eggs up inside you and misses the very important context and tradition its rooted in and also sticking factory produced and probably chemically treated anything INSIDE U, is not a good idea??

A 2018 detox guide recommended an at-home coffee enema kit to stimulate users’ intestines from the comfort of their own home. A couple of years later, while hooked up to a vitamin drip on The Art of Being Well podcast, Paltrow revealed she had also “used ozone therapy, rectally,” a procedure which involves pumping oxygen via catheter into the colon. Scientists immediately dismissed Paltrow’s health claims.

In 2017, Goop suggested that anyone who wanted to “rebalance the energy frequency in our bodies” should try placing Body Vibes stickers on their arms or near their heart. The site claimed the stickers ($120 for a pack of 24) were “made with the same conductive carbon material Nasa uses to line space suits so they can monitor an astronaut’s vitals”. A fact that was quickly debunked when Nasa confirmed that they “do not have any conductive carbon material lining the spacesuits.”

There's a lot more but I'll stop here for now. Gwyneth is convinced of the validity of her claims and does not see anything wrong with it. This is how Moon dominants are and thats what makes their manipulation so damaging.

Andrew Huberman- Rohini Moon

He is a neuroscientist and wellness podcaster called "Goop for bros".

His protocols for good living involve things like taking enormous amounts of expensive supplements, ensuring you view early morning sunlight for 10-30 minutes after waking, carefully timing when you drink coffee and plunging yourself in ice baths. (probiotics and supplements are a complete scam, there are studies proving they do absolutely nothing for u)

He has covered everything from creativity to hair loss and despite having no professional expertise on all the things he covers, he acts like he does lmao

Huberman was exposed for taking steroids to achieve his body while he was promoting "wellness" and telling people to take cold showers and work out and eat clean etc lmao. He also reportedly earned millions from running adverts for dietary products and wellness supplements.

He went from science expert to guru. He used to have discussions of how the brain and body respond to certain stimuli but later extended that to broad prescriptions for lifestyle and dietary modification which he is not qualified to do??

Last month he was exposed for having 5 different girlfriends who all thought they were in an exclusive relationship with him.

Sarah, says she was in a relationship with Huberman for around three years, and had been undergoing IVF treatment to have a child with him when she found he had been having unprotected sex with at least five other women at the same time.

Her suspicions were aroused when she contracted a high-risk form of HPV, a sexually transmitted infection linked to cervical cancer, despite having been tested for ten years.

Along with Sarah, others known only as Eve, Mary, Alex, and an unknown fifth and potentially sixth, were all romantically associated with him - some having been led to believe they were exclusive for years. All believed that other exes in Huberman’s life had been “stalkers, alcoholics, and compulsive liars” according to the report. (Moon dominants manipulating the truth to suit them)

“I’m at the stage of life where I truly want to build a family,” he told Eve while he was reportedly involved with several others. “That’s a resounding theme for me.”

Yet, despite the reassuring words he appeared to be chronically unreliable disappearing for extended periods of time with no indication of his whereabouts.

For a man interested in promoting personal growth, he also appeared to be unapologetic about deceiving his therapists, of which he has had several over the years.

“We were at dinner once and he told me something personal, and I suggested he talk to his therapist,” shared Eve. “He laughed it off like that wasn’t ever going to happen, so I asked him if he lied to his therapist. He told me he did all the time.”

Despite his dismissal of therapy, the podcaster appears to have maximised the use of “therapy-speak” to familiarise himself with the internal experiences of many women.

“I hear you are saying you are angry and hurt,” he texted Sarah as she discovered journal entries about his infidelity. “I will hear you as much and as long as needed for us.”

“Your feelings matter,” he told Eve on a day when he had injected his girlfriend Sarah with hCG as part of their IVF treatment. “I’m actually very much a caretaker.”

Discussing sex addiction with another woman, Huberman denied he was a sex addict instead referring to himself as a “love addict”.

On one day in March, the women realised that Huberman had flown Mary thousands of miles from Texas to LA to stay with him in Topanga, California, some six-hour drive from where Sarah stayed in Berkeley. On that same day, he left Mary at home with his dog as he drove to a coffee shop to meet Eve to have a serious conversation about their relationship.

Anywayyys, thats enough about him. He's a cheating, conniving, manipulative asshole.

Oprah Winfrey- Shravana Sun

Oprah has used her platform to air dangerous pseudoscience for decades.

In 2007, The Oprah Winfrey Show, the no. 1 talk show for 23 consecutive seasons, welcomed former Playboy model and MTV host Jenny McCarthy. 

The program gave McCarthy carte blanche to share a theory: that her son’s autism resulted from vaccines laced with hazardous chemicals. Despite a lack of concrete scientific evidence, McCarthy was lauded for her “warrior spirit” to speak up for other concerned moms. The lasting damage this has done to the country is concerning bc now it seems there are more antivaxxers than ever before.

The longest-reigning queen of daytime television promoted New Age scams, pushed unsustainable fad diets, and anointed problematic faith healers like John of God (now imprisoned) or pseudoscientific doctors like Dr. Oz. She sold us on magical thinking. 

Indeed, before the “Goop-ification of wellness,” there was the “Oprah-fication of medicine.”

In the ‘80s, Oprah helped fuel the satanic ritual abuse / repressed memories panic by interviewing folks like the author of the later-debunked memoir Michelle Remembers. In the ‘90s, she had “women’s health expert” Christiane Northrup—a quack physician who spewed nonsense like thyroid dysfunction stems from women not speaking up enough (an “energy blockage”), that love can heal AIDS, and mammograms aren’t safe—on her show 12 times. In the early aughts, she promoted the feel-good gibberish that is The Secret, insinuating positive thoughts were all that separated you from success, riches, and yes, even medical recoveries.

And remember when Oprah notoriously hosted Suzanne Somers in 2009? The actress touted injecting hormones directly into one’s vagina to stave off aging and menopausal hot flashes, along with downing 40 supplements daily.

Like Gwyneth and Huberman, Oprah sold pseudoscience to millions of people who didnt know any better to make hugeeee profits. I am pretty sure Bella will follow suit and also set up a vitamin supplement business in the near future and it will probably also be her downfall.

Song JiA- Shravana Moon

She became extremely popular after her appearance on the show Single's Inferno and there are hundreds of videos trying to analyse why all the men on that show went ape for her lol

But she was exposed for wearing fake designer stuff lmao?? Koreans be wilding

Her career came to a standstill after that and she hasn't done much since.

Agatha Christie, Hasta Moon & Mercury, Jupiter in Shravana in 1h

aside from the fact that she wrote murder mystery books that were known for misleading the reader (a more fun manifestation of Moon's tendency to manipulate?) she also had some other tendencies:

On the evening of Friday 3 December 1926, Agatha Christie left her home in Sunningdale, Berkshire, got into her car and disappeared into the night. Her disappearance sparked a manhunt involving the police, members of the public and famous figures and was lapped up by the tabloid press.

In the aftermath of Agatha’s disappearance both Archie Christie (her husband) and his mistress Nancy Neale were under suspicion and a huge manhunt was undertaken by thousands of policemen and eager volunteers. A local lake known as the Silent Pool was also dredged in case life had imitated art and Agatha had met the same fate of one of her unfortunate characters. Famous faces also waded in to the mystery with the then Home Secretary William Joynson-Hicks putting pressure on police to find the writer, and fellow mystery writer Sir Arthur Conan Doyle seeking the help of a clairvoyant to find Agatha using one of her gloves as a guide.

She was found living at a hotel under the name Theresa Neale (yeah she used the mistresses' last name). She apparently did not recognise her husband when he went to see her at the hotel and they divorced not long after?

The nature of the Moon is ever shifting, watery , always projecting and I think its interesting how Agatha, who found out about the affair pulled that stunt to cope perhaps. I have noticed this with many Moon dominants, if they learn of something depressing, they will immediately distract themselves with something else and pretend that issue is more concerning??? Or they will pull a stunt and redirect everybody's attention there. They are veryyy image conscious, so this could be bc of that. After all, being remembered for her strange disappearance is better than being perceived as the woman he cheated on and left, I guess.

St Vincent- Hasta Sun & Mercury, Shravana Moon

This is kinda innocuous but she lied about being a Kate Bush fan lol??

What I mean by this is that she said two different things on Kate Bush and on how she was introduced. In 2007 she was interviewed with Pitchfork and said "this may sound really silly-- but I just discovered Kate Bush, probably six months ago, and I think she's so great. I know I'm very late to the party here [ laughs ], I know this is old news, but I got a Kate Bush record, and I forget-- I think "The Dreaming" is on it, though I'm spacing on the name of the record. [The Dreaming --Ed.] It has Kate Bush in this totally miraculous ascot, too, on the back [ laughs ]. She just went for it. It's so great. She totally went for it." (http://pitchfork.com/features/guest-lists/6680-st-vincent/)

Now that doesn't sound so bad on it's own, but in 2014 during the Kate Bush documentary she said a completely different story on how she got introduced to Kate Bush around 46:47 and said "I still remember going to the CD World and buying The Sensual World when I was sixteen. And the cover, there’s a rose in front of her mouth that has bloomed, she’s got big wide eyes. And I remember, you know, putting it in the shitty car stereo on the way home, and you know, my life was forever changed.” (https://youtu.be/c4sLwt8mhZs?t=46m49s)

Its the detailll thats giving Moon dominant manipulation lmao

Alfred Nobel- Shravana Moon

 He is known for inventing dynamite as well as having bequeathed his fortune to establish the Nobel Prize. So now no one remembers him for being the horrible man he was lol.

He made millions selling explosives and then decided to manipulate his legacy as that of a philanthropist.

Mahatma Gandhi- Hasta Sun, Ashlesha Moon

In 1903, when Gandhi was in South Africa, he wrote that white people there should be "the predominating race." He also said black people "are troublesome, very dirty and live like animals."

Gandhi championed women in politics. But he was also obsessed with his own celibacy. In his late 70s, before he died at 78, he slept naked with his grandniece when she was in her late teens. He said he wanted to test his willpower to abstain from sex.

Gandhi denied life saving treatment to his wife. She was in bed, extremely sick from pneumonia and he refused to let the doctors administer her with penicillin.

Instead of giving her the medicine, Gandhi decided to fill the room with followers who sang devotional songs, as per the book. The next day, on 22nd February 1944, Kasturba Gandhi died. He said, “’How God has tested my faith! ‘If I had allowed you to give her penicillin, it could not have saved her. But it would have meant bankruptcy of faith on my part… And she passed away in my lap! Could it be better? I am happy beyond measure.”

Going by the rigidness of Gandhi against modern medicine, one may think he had observed the same for himself and other associates. But the case was different. Interestingly, records show that he had undergone repeated medical tests and surgery throughout his life though Kasturba was denied penicillin.

Manu was Gandhi’s grandniece and was used by him as one of the participants in his so-called ‘experiments with celibacy’ where he used to sleep naked with girls and had naked girls bathe him. She was often seen with Gandhi, who used her and Abha, another grandniece, as support while walking.

Manuben’s diaries revealed that Gandhi used to control almost every aspect of her life, including food, education, sleeping, rest schedule, and even the clothes she wore. She even used to sleep in the same bed with him.

Moon dominants twist the truth as and when it suits them. They can be controlling, manipulative liars who parade around as virtuous, kind hearted and generous people. Most people on this list have a good reputation. This is the danger of Moon influence; very few people see the darkness that truly lurks within them.

Obviously this only applies to unevolved Lunar people<3

[damagedintellect]

ADA Dazai x Reader

💌Obligatory sex pollen fic I guess?? chapter 2💌

Summary: Certain abilities Dazai can dispel outright without touching the user. This has always confused the brunette greatly where the technical line was drawn. During Q's apocalypse, he couldn't bring individuals back to their senses but with Shiwabusa's fog he could prevent Chuuya’s ability from manifesting. Apparently this “Sex pollen” ability was more like the former example. Which left Dazai the only one conscious of their actions as everyone fucked like rabbits.

Notes: Based on a dream I had a few nights ago....This chapter is shorter because I started waking up once I realized it was THAT DREAM, I'm literally crying it got a second chapter some one help😭

Contains: sex pollen, dubcon, pregnancy, mpreg, pregnant Fyodor, Fyodor being painfully religious, 🍋 in chapter 1

💌 Wordcount 1,971 💌 Chapter 2 of ?? [If I have another dream I am obligated to update this] <= Previous chapter

Just like that for a few weeks everything was back to some semblance of normalcy. Out of sight out of mind you guess. Once you stopped feeling sick all the time you could hardly tell you were pregnant at all. You were still confined to the office since it would take anywhere from 3 to 6 months to fully heal from your injuries but that was fine with you. Honestly you don’t understand how Dazai does it. You've been pampered by Yosano's ability. It didn't even occur to you that you'd still have to have some sort of physical therapy afterwards either. Meanwhile Dazai gets shot and stabbed all the goddamn time and he takes it like a champ. Just one more reason to like him you guess.

Dazai looked up to catch you staring. You didn’t look away but your face did start to feel warm. You hadn’t really sat down and talked about it in depth yet. That night or about the child and honestly no one in the office has really tried to bring it up either. Although you still don't know what to say, sooner or later someone has to say something and hopefully it won't have to be you. Unfortunately you have a feeling it's going to be you.

Dazai glanced at the door and frowned. He's been trying to avoid any meaningful confrontation but judging from the sounds outside he swallowed. He knew those footsteps better than anyone and it was only a matter of time before “he” showed up. This might as well be happening today. Without warning Chuuya emerged from the doorway looking annoyed. 

“Okay, which one of you is the weretiger!”

Atsushi hesitantly raised his hand. You raised an eyebrow at the exchange. What was the mafia executive doing looking for Atsushi? Dazai sighed and rose to his feet, putting an arm around Atsushi as Chuuya approached the two. 

“Why Chuuya, what brings you out to our domain! I almost didn't see you there, have you gotten shorter?” He smiles cheerfully. You swear you could see flowers and sparkles surrounding him.

Chuuya crossed his arms “Go to hell and wait your turn. I have a bone to pick with you after I square away business with the tiger boy.” He glared at Atsushi, sizing him up. “And you, my boy Akutagawa hasn't been the same since your guy's little rescue operation. Mind telling me why that is?” It was surprisingly less threatening and more of a genuine question.

Atsushi’s face flushed a few shades darker “Why don't you ask him! He's the one who-” He stopped mid sentence, groaning. He figured Akutagawa wouldn't talk about it to anyone either but being asked directly because Akutagawa was out of sorts was insulting. How did he think Atsushi felt? “You know what, the bottom line is I'm pregnant and it's his fault he used his stupid ability like that. If anything I should be the one who's traumatized!” 

Chuuya hummed, putting his hand under his chin as he thought about an earlier encounter. “Oh so that's why he was muttering about being bound to the weretiger. He was saying something about not even holding hands yet and having to marry you. Guess that makes me the godfather for two babies then.” the redhead shrugged like this conversation was an everyday occurrence.

Atsushi slouched, was this karma for trying to suggest that Fyodor and Nikolai should get married? 

“Don’t tell me Akutagawa is religious too.”

Chuuya furrowed his eyebrows. “What? No listen kid, this is about stepping up to responsibilities. Raising a kid's a big deal.” He looked over at Dazai with a smirk about to add one more thing but Dazai interjected, flicking the brim of Chuuya's hat.

He continued to wave his hand in the other's face. “Who said you were the godfather? I don't remember calling you.” Both of their expressions went flat for a moment as they glared at each other passively.

“You should have, it would have been better to hear the news from you than from Mori.” He huffed “Why didn't you? It's not like you to go back on your word. What happened too, I wouldn't lie about something like this.” He mocked in a Dazai like fashion.

“I thought you were too drunk to remember that!” Dazai whined.

“Yeah well I also remember promising to be your best man if you ever lived long enough to find someone.” Chuuya leaned back into his hip “So?” the redhead crossed his arms, waiting.

“So what?” Dazai said matter of factly. As the two stared back at each other, Atsushi finally sat down. Why did they have to do this at his desk?

“So what? You're not even going to introduce me!”

Dazai rolled his eyes. Is that really what Chuuya came here for? When Chuuya walked in you had gotten up from your desk to make tea. As you brought the cups over Dazai walked around you and put his hand on your shoulder “(Y/N), Chuuya, Chuuya, (Y/N). There, you happy?”

“Wait (Y/N)? You mean your-” Dazai cut him off but Chuuya looked surprised. You wonder what he was going to say. It sounded important.

Dazai pankicked and grabbed the other from behind covering his mouth as he dragged him out into the hallway. “Nope that's it you overstayed your welcome.” 

Once the door shut Ranpo pouted “I'm pregnant too ya know. I wouldn't mind Mr. Fancy hat being the godfather.” He puffed out his cheeks.

Atsushi rolled his eyes. “That's all you got from that!”

Ranpo sighed “No, I also got the image of Akutagawa tying you up so thanks for that.” 

Atsushi stood up so fast his chair nearly fell over. “How can everybody speak about it so casually!” 

He looked over to you with pleading eyes. Atsushi was probably hoping you'd back him up. Instead you laughed, handing him the disregarded tea. 

“Well for starters only the adults are here today and the more you talk about it the less power it has.” You handed the detective another cup. “Although instead of putting you on the spot Ranpo should have asked if you wanted to talk about it first or at least opened up about his experience.”

He took a sip of tea before shrugging. Ranpo didn't mind sharing at all in fact he’s glad someone asked about it. “Not much to say really. Poe hugged me from behind and by the time I realized he wasn't doing it to be cute I just kinda went with it.” Ranpo shrugged with a smile on his face. “I'm more curious what happened with Kunikida!”

The blonde tensed as you set the last cup down in front of him. He had stopped his typing as a bead of sweat dripped down the side of his face. “Do I have too?” Out of everyone in the office Kunikida had been the one trying the hardest to skirt around the conversations. He wanted to forget it ever happened. It was bad enough that Dazai would tease him about it whenever they were alone.

Ranpo hummed “Akiko's really careful because she could never give up drinking for that long, so since you're not forced into being a dad, dealer's choice?” You all nodded in agreement, it only seemed fair since you were putting him on the spot.

Kunikida pushed up his glasses. You assume he probably doesn't want to share. Instead he turns to address you. “Which reminds me, I thought Yosano gave you a contraceptive too?”

“I was so exhausted I forgot it was in my pocket and never took it.” You frowned. It didn't feel like a priority in the moment but like most of them you were out of it. “But forced parenting aside, right now this is about sexual trauma.”

 Kunikida cleared his throat “I wouldn't know what to share. I turned to look at Yosano and the next thing I know we're kissing in a passionate manner.” He paused wondering if he should say something about the elephant in the room. “Also this should go without saying, but no one is forcing you to be a parent. Ranpo and Atsushi might not have a choice but there's still plenty of time for you to think it over. No one would stop you if you decided you're not ready to be a mother.” This was true but your mind was already made up. 

Somehow only Ranpo knew of your crush? You thought it was fairly obvious. Had it been anyone else you probably would have gotten rid of it by now. 

Ranpo laughed before you could answer, sharing his two cents. “Who said I don't have a choice? I'm choosing to have this little munchkin! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to see what me and Poe create. Besides, I've always wanted a mini me!” He patted his stomach proudly.

Atsushi sipped on his tea “That's true. So in a weird way it kind of worked out for you and Poe huh. At least one of us lucked out.” He’s been avoiding Akutagawa as much as possible ever since that night.

Ranpo snickered, “I would say two of us lucked out.” He draped one around your shoulder opening his eyes to give you a smug look. “Well you care to share with the class? This was your idea after all.” 

So that’s why he bothered to bring all of this up. You sighed in defeat. “Lucked out my ass!” Your cheeks were red as Atsushi and Kunikida gave you incredulous looks “Keep in mind Dazai was fully conscious of his actions. He kind of just let me get it out of my system in hope that I would eventually snap out of it,” You groaned hiding your face in your hands “and yes, apparently I was begging him to fuck a baby into me. Is that what you wanted to hear, Ranpo!”

Ranpo blinked a few times “You didn't have to go that far but yeah I was just trying to get you to mention your crush on Dazai.”

“You have a crush on Dazai?!” Both Atsushi and Kunikida shouted. Kunikida nearly spat out his tea. You groaned “That’s why I was planning on keeping the child but I feel like I'd be baby trapping him.”

“It’s not baby trapping if you decide to keep the child, it's your body. I already told you that you have the final say.”

Everyone slowly turned their heads back to see Dazai coming back into the office. You swallowed “How much of that did you hear?”

“Not much but you already told me your reason for wanting to keep the kid.” He shrugged nonchalantly and everyone wiped their heads back to you.

Atsushi was dumbfounded. “Wait a second, let me get this straight. He knows that you-”

Dazai spoke over him. “-Always wanted kids, it's not that big of a deal. Unless that's not what we're talking about?” He tilted his head to the side. Did he miss something? It took a lot out of him to turn Chuuya away especially after the stupid slug made his own revelations about the situation. 

You released the breath you were holding. Everyone else understood Dazai was just as oblivious to your feelings as always. Eventually you would have to tell him but it was still early enough in the process to figure that out. At least everyone else in the office knew why you’ve been acting weird since that night.

Kunikida groaned at the realization. “I don't know if I can handle a mini Ranpo running around, let alone a mini Dazai.” He went back to his work. “It’s bad enough having to work with Dazai as is.”

You laughed as the two tried to defend themselves.

[bunglestraydogs]

Nobody but Oda and Atsushi really care for Dazai.

Before ANYONE starts coming after me viciously and saying that obviously it's not just them that care for Dazai, I know. I'm not saying nobody else cares. I'm just saying that these two cared the most and are genuinely worried for him. Well, were. RIP Oda. <3

Let me explain why.

We all are very much aware of the jumpscare we got in BSD Wan, right? Where we thought it was all cute and happy, and BAM we get fucking shot in the chest by Dazai's "When I go, I hope to go out just as beautifully."

HELLO? This was not okay. Usually, when we hear Dazai talking about suicide (save for Fifteen and The Dark Era) he's pretty whimsical about it, not ever really serious. Yet, here, we see just how serious he is. Atsushi does think he's half-joking at first, before he looks towards Dazai and just sees this dead, dull look in his eyes whilst he smiles at the sky. Atsushi is rattled by this, and genuinely distressed. Fuck me, I sobbed when I first watched this scene, I was not expecting the wholeass 180. Anyways, we see how upset Atsushi is by this statement. "Please don't say stuff like that, even as a joke." We still get zero reaction from Dazai. Nothing. Here, we see him without his usual comic relief mask, but he's still guarding himself.

Let me get into why I think.

Dazai has not had anyone genuinely care about him at any point in his life (excluding before he was 14, fuck knows what happened there) so far. Mori, who was essentially a really twisted and fucked up father figure, didn't care about his wellbeing much, except for the fact that he stopped him committing suicide multiple times for the first year that he knew him. Not out of the kindness of his heart, but due to the fact that Dazai was still a necessary pawn in Mori's plans, and he couldn't let him die yet. It literally says so in the Fifteen LN.

Chuuya cares about him to some extent. When Dazai gets wounded (and it's not inflicted by Chuuya) he gets worried and concerned. Prime example being during their fight with Lovecraft, when Dazai gets fucking slapped against a tree. Chuuya punches Lovecraft with a "heavy fist" and then immediately runs over to Dazai, making sure he's okay. When Dazai eventually looks up, Chuuya becomes shaken at how bad his wound is. Then, the next time that Dazai gets slapped again, Chuuya is very very shaken, as Dazai starts spouting off about how he's going to die, and his final words. Chuuya is clearly rattled, and is trying to get him to shut up, asking him what the hell he means. Then, obviously, Dazai is messing, and Chuuya grows anger. Despite Chuuya's hatred for Dazai, he is clearly concerned where his partner's wellbeing is involved. The first time they meet, Chuuya is once again shaken by Dazai when he says to "kill him now then", and is taken aback. Through the years, however, Chuuya becomes desensitised to Dazai's suicidal antics, and he even teases him when they reunite, asking him if he still wants to kill himself, then grows disappointed when Dazai outright admits to it.

Kunikida is of course concerned about his partner, but is also exasperated and annoyed by him. When Dazai goes missing, he even jabs at the fact that he could of actually succeeded in killing himself this time (he mentions that he's probably floating in a river somewhere). As he does mention, though, "That man's ability to avoid death approaches nightmare proficiency." Then Ranpo, "Not even the Port Mafia would be able to get the better of him." And Kenji, "Even after all those suicide attempts, he's still as lively as ever." This is obviously fucking true, all of it. He sees through everything and each step of his is carefully planned and atriculated. However, as Atsushi says, "Still, aren't you worried?" He knows this, and he understands what they're saying, but he is taken aback by their lack of care. Then, Tanizaki steps in, saying that he'll help look for him. King. Atsushi is happy about this clearly. Atsushi really cares for him already, and he doesn't understand why everyone else is so calm about this situation. It's because they all know that he'll get himself out of there in one piece, as he is able to avoid these types of things expertly and deftly. However, Atsushi still is worried for Dazai. Kunikida has been Dazai's partner for two years now, and so he knows all of his antics and tricks, much like Chuuya. Chuuya, however, knows him better and more in depth. Because the ADA Dazai isn't really him. Of course, it is him, but with his darker side hidden a lot more. I don't think he's ever revealed it to any of the members except for Kunikida during his entrance exam. The rest all think of him as some goofball who's good at what he does and has a passion for suicide and women. However, Chuuya knows him as a twisted, unwell guy with a passion for suicide and all things dark, with a but of a wacky side to him. These two parallells still have one thing in common, however, and that's obviously suicide. Anyways, sorry, I was getting out of hand. Kunikida clearly cares for Dazai and his wellbeing, but again, is also infuriated by him and his attempts at suicide, which nobody takes seriously.

Mori. Fuck, man. This guy? Real piece of shit. Sees Dazai as an asset in his plan, nothing more, nothing less. He values him as a Port Mafia member, not a human being. The dehumanising nature of Mori greatly impacts Dazai and his quest for death; Mori exacerbates this multiple times. Yes, he stops him continuously from killing himself, but once again, only because he needs him as a piece in his game plan. He was the sole witness to his promotion as the boss of the Port Mafia, he can't have him go die on him now. So, he keeps a close watch on Dazai, surveillance constant. He controls and manipulates the shit out of him, using his craving for death as a means to get him to do what he wants, bargaining a drug for a comfortable way out in exchange for him doing missions for him, to which Dazai expects, wanting him to make him that drug. Mori saved him at 14, yet Dazai continues to attempt suicide countless times in just that one year. Mori does not care for his wellbeing, mentally or physically. He drives him out of the mafia with Oda's death, yet still expects him to want to come back as an executive. Despite claiming that he didn't drive Dazai out of the mafia, he indirectly did so. Now, I don't know if he sent Oda into this with the expectation that Dazai was going to leave, but I think he did but also don't think he did? I think he did this as a means to get Dazai more under his control and manipulate him, because he knew how close they were and he knew exactly what strings to pull to get Dazai to snap. Except, I don't think he predicted Dazai actually leaving the Port Mafia, because he couldn't of predicted what Oda would say to Dazai, and he couldn't of predicted how deep their bond was.

This brings me to my main and next point; Oda was the only one who ever cared for Dazai. Ango of course did, but not to the extent of Oda. I don't know if many people have read it, but if you haven't, spoilers for 'The Time I Picked Up Dazai' under the cut.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the book, we see just how much Oda begins to really care about Dazai, despite him initially being some shady kid that turned up half dead on his doorstep. He ties him up to his bed just so that he won't try and escape and kill himself, as he exclaims to Oda. Oda goes through so many measures to make sure Dazai doesn't kill himself. Three times. Three fucking times. The first time being Dazai crawling to the door to try and get out so that he can get out of Oda's way and die in peace. The second time, he literally fights Oda because he's trying to stab himself. Then, two seconds later, tries to kill himself with the kettle. Oda has to physically stop him. Oda has to fucking strangle him unconcious to get him to stop. Despite meeting him only three days prior, he cares about his wellbeing. Part of the reason is obviously that he doesn't want a dead kid on his hands, but the other part is that he's growing to care for Dazai. All throughout this little book, we see little glimpses of Oda's genuine concern for Dazai. Obviously at first, he was debating just leaving him on the doorstep, because it wasn't really his issue. Yet, he still drags Dazai back to the bed and ties him up when he tries crawling out the house. In the Dark Era, we see him (in the alley scene) tell Dazai to stop talking after he almost gets shot, because he knows that he's just chatting shit. However, in the book (holy shit, it made me cry when I read it) this happens instead;

The way he described Dazai at the end of this scene kind of broke me. "That of a child about to burst into tears." Now, I don't know whether he meant that Dazai was so happy to finally just, you know, die, or that Dazai was just a troubled child. Both, I think. Odasaku sees Dazai as a child, just a child, and the fact that he wants to die so bad and has such a warped perception of the world genuinely hurts Odasaku. He doesn't want to see Dazai like that; it upsets him. He's genuinely angry at what Dazai did, much like how a father would be angry. He can't stand when Dazai's like this because it breaks his heart. Despite Ango scolding him for letting Dazai speak like that, as he will just start going more off the rails, Oda does tell Dazai not to be like that, and is concerned when he is and when he's serious about it, as opposed to him being whimsical about it in the bar. Ango and Odasaku are like father/brother figures to Dazai, they're fond of him and care about him deeply. Which is why it hurts Dazai so much when it starts falling apart. Bungou Stray Dogs fucking breaks me, because in the scene (I haven't finished The Dark Era LN yet, I'm sorry-) in the anime where Dazai is talking about how everything he loves or wants always leaves in the end whenever he obtains them. And so, when Odasaku died, despite how much Dazai prepared for the things he loves to be lost, he couldn't prepare for it at all. And when he finally loses it, he's lost the final stable thing in his life. His attempt at wanting to live had left. His friendship with Oda and Ango was stained with Ango's betrayal. His life in the Port Mafia became dull and depressing. His attempt at trying to live failed. And his best friend died in his fucking arms.

Then Atushi comes in, and reminds him of all he's lost, yet also all he wants to save and achieve. He raises Atushi, because that's what Oda would have wanted. He raises him because it's the right thing to do, and he wants to be there for him. But he doesn't expect Atsushi to begin to actually hold a deep fondness of him. Dazai, as we all know, cannot handle compliments or being cared for, because it's something so rare and foreign to him. So, even though it's supposed to be funny and nice, BSD Wan really hits fucking hard with this one. He doesn't realise that anyone actually cares for him; evil expects evil from others, as he said. Dazai is constantly on guard, cautious and reserved and shielded. He doesn't want to be hurt again. And so, when Atsushi says shit like this, it catches him off guard, but he can't let that show. He can't let anyone see him vulnerable, because everybody has an ulterior motive. He's going to be used for something.

Sound familiar?

SIGMA.

I know, jumpscare, right?

Bet you weren't expecting me to fucking jump to him.

But, I think that's why Dazai actually cares for Sigma in the little time he's come to know him. "I see. So that's how it is." He says after we see Sigma's internal monologue. Not going to lie, I think Dazai sees a bit of himself in Sigma and is trying to save him from that, and show him that not everyone tries to use him, and that he's safe with him and the ADA, which fucking works when Fyodor tries to manipulate him and Sigma pulls out a fucking UNO reverse card on him, and stands his ground, because he won't be used anymore. Dazai has never been able to confront Mori properly about anything, and so if he can let someone else feel what he wishes he could, then that would make him happy. Plus, Sigma's technically an orphan lol.

Another thing of importance to note is

Okay sorry I've been sat here for about five minutes trying to remember and I can't FUCK.

Anyways, the care from Atsushi that Dazai gets is foreign to him. He doesn't know how to respond, so he just doesn't respond at all. Because it hurts too much, and reminds him of Oda.

I THINK I REMEMBERED BUT I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WAS IT.

Anyways, despite it being what I thought of or not, it's a key point to make. When Atsushi's orphanage Director passes away, and he doesn't know how to feel, it's Dazai there to help him through it as he faces the loss of a "loved" one. He doesn't know how to feel about the Director's death. He was someone who raised him, someone who was always there. Except, the Director was a sick, twisted and cruel man, despite him only trying to prepare Atsushi from the worst and save him from what he went through himself and what Atsushi's parents did to him. Clearly not the correct way to raise a kid. However, Dazai tells him "When someone's father dies, they tend to cry." Dazai; emotionless, inhuman and uncaring. This is how Chuuya sees him in his Port Mafia days. This is how everyone saw him; someone to be feared for his lack of humanity and twisted way of dealing with things, his warped perceptions of the universe. Yet, when Odasaku dies, it's the only time we see Dazai crying, and it's the most upset or nervous or emotional we've seen him; the guy's a fucking wreck. This just broke me when he said that, not just because poor fucking Atsushi, but also because Oda was a father figure to Dazai. The only time we have seen him cry was of course Oda. And when he says that to Atsushi, my heart breaks. Literally crumbles. This series is actually god awful, I hate it.

In conclusion, Dazai obviously doesn't respond well to compliments or worries about his wellbeing, and Atsushi reminds him too much of Oda. Everything Atsushi is and does; Atsushi, who he's took under his wing as an orphan. Atsushi, who doesn't see the value or meaning in killing people. Atsushi, who asked Aku to be a mafia member who doesn't kill. Atsushi, who took in Kyouka, despite her flaws, and Dazai had to be there to explain that no matter what, she could be in the ADA, despite her kills, despite being an assassin, despite being in the PM. This shit hits hard for him, and I hate it so much.

Anyways, sorry for this long ass rant but it just kills me how nobody actually thinks to look deeper into Dazai's suicidal tendencies, as he's clearly not okay. Atsushi and Oda are the only one's who have ever thought to pursue it, and actively stop him from thinking like that.

I hope you're all having a lovely day/night! <3

[sylenth-l]

hello! hunter age anon back once moe with another question!!! (sorry ig yhis gets annoying!!!)

i want to ask about Cayde's dynamic with andal!!! like, how to portray their relationship and maybe cayde's general psyche when it comes to people and forming bonds.

Not at all, I love getting questions about my guys!! (I'm just bad at answering them aksdjhflks OTL)

It's… complicated, I'm never sure how to describe characters' relationships with words. I know it sounds incredibly cheesy, but to me Andal and Cayde are two halves of a whole, one feels incomplete without the other. Even if we're talking about them being just friends, they're the type who always show up everywhere together and if for some reason they aren't, they'll be texting each other non-stop still. "We're two halves of a whole idiot" - that's literally them.

You could say that they knew and understood each other perfectly, but I feel like while it's true in general everyday scenarios, on a grander scale Andal always had an upper hand in that. He knew Cayde like the back of his hand, he trusted him and believed in him far more than Cayde ever thought of himself. Cayde however wasn't exactly that sharp when it came to serious things about which Andal avoided speaking head-on - like, Cayde couldn't understand why Andal takes his Vanguard duty so seriously. It was only after he spent years as the Hunter Vanguard himself that he started to get what Andal must've felt. I don't think it's Cayde's fault or something though - Andal most likely barely ever talked about that, and he himself didn't exactly need people talking about their feelings to understand them.

I think it's safe to say, judging by how everyone speak of him and the leadership positions he seemingly effortlessly always ended up in, that Andal just gets people, he understands them extremely well and can find a common language with just about anyone. He was the one who made "significant progress in faction accords". What kind of person you must be to make faction leaders come to an agreement, at that time especially??? Convincing, sharp and charming sounds like an understatement alksdhfkjaks

So, I think it was that quality that helped Andal almost immediately see right through all of Cayde's clowney facades. And his own kindness and honesty pretty much left Cayde totally disarmed. Andal got to know him - the real him - and loved him, thought of him as his best friend. And made damn sure Cayde was aware of that as well. That's actually so, so incredibly important - because with the way Cayde is, he constantly thinks that deep down people surrounding him either dislike him or are disappointed in him. No matter how much time they spend together, it's not something he himself will just get one day because "well it's OBVIOUS" or something. His relationship with Ikora and Zavala are probably the most striking example of that. Ikora says he was one of her closest friends - Cayde says he's not sure if Ikora even likes him. The City is flooded with Cabal, lightless Guardians scattered all over the system, humanity is in shambles - and Cayde is genuinely surprised Zavala is looking for him and needs him. He leaves messages for both of them in case they kill him, making it sound like he wouldn't be surprised at all if they did. That… really shows the abysmal gap of misunderstanding between them, to put it lightly.

But Andal! Cayde never once doubted Andal and Andal's feelings for him. The good old days he speaks so fondly of is the time when he ran around the Solar system with Andal and their pack. Even if he sometimes laments that Andal is too serious and bad with jokes, that seriousness and honesty is actually just another proof that if Andal says so, then he really does like him and is impressed by whatever Cayde wanted to impress him with this time. 

I think it's probably one of, if not the most important part of what made Andal so incredibly special to Cayde - that freedom of being able to be equally honest with him, be real. Goofing off because he simply wants to goof off - not because he prefers to give people lower standards so that they won't be disappointed in him when he fails. Sharing his muddy concerns and fears that he barely even can put into words, knowing it won't be laughed at or brushed off as unimportant. Absolutely everything got better instantly if they were in it together. The mere presence of one of them in close proximity immediately cheered the other up.

I don't know, I can talk about them for hours and still not say what I wanted to say. I always miss the most important stuff somehow, no matter how many words I pour in. Honestly, I think that to better understand what was happening between them, all you have to do is to (re)read "The Man They Call Cayde" - literally half of it is basically Cayde's love letter to Andal.

[basmala260]

Explaining the whole thing abt Hanzawa being a homophobic

1. The oldest glance we got about Hanzawa is that in the Hirakagi light novel Which literally told that Hanzawa Sensitive to homosexuality

The translator I read from explained that with a more spontaneous way saying that he just hates the "Sexual" part of the homosexuality relationship and he just doesn't want any of it at his Dorm

2. But reading ch.24 it seems like things are much bigger than that since he didn't even want to see it even as a joke as he opened one of his eyes, an expression that he only shows in moments of excessive emotion Which seems to be a negative here

3. I also tend to think more that he chose to keep himself always busy to stop himself from over-worrying about his brothers and his friends And even he seems panicking when he learns that Kagiura gave Hirano Earrings and every time he hears anything about Hirano and Kagiura (he does that a lot I couldn't screen them all lmfao)

So we can say that Hanzawa didn't actually hate homosexuality

It's just "Worries" him

4. Hanzawa is an over-protective person

Looking at Hanzawa as a person not as a character, I can actually get him, tho I'm a lesbian woman, I myself used to be cautious, but I did not worry much about those around me

I once knew a Bisexual woman who committed suicide after her homosexuality was revealed and she was humiliated by everyone and abandoned by her parents, this is only an example from how the community is actually heinous

And since this horrible accident I started to be over-protective to my friends and warning them whenever they get into a relationship

So Hanzawa is completely normal at this point

5. Back to Sasaki To Miyano

For sure we all noticed how Hanzawa's attitude changed at Sasaki to Miyano Manga being their no.1 supportive

What changed Hanzawa's reaction to Miyano's orientation towards Sasaki, is actually that he knows both of themI mean, it's really hard to trust your brother's partner when you don't know him, especially when the impression you get from them is Violence -at first when Miyano asked Hanzawa "what does it mean to love someone?" That was the point when Hanzawa learned that Miyano have a feelings for Sasaki, but he chose not to worry instead he tried to help him, because he respected Miyano's reliance on him and because HE KNOWS Sasaki

Let's not forget that he also warned Miyano as a part of his fears after all*

6. After hearing Miyano's words and seeing them together that really seemed to influence Hanzawa and we are able to see a severe shift in his attitude towards homosexuality Which seems to be a little calmer towards this idea

7. Finally

I've seen many people shipping Hanzawa and Tashiro (Tho I've never thought of this ship actually but seeing many people have a Very convincing theories I guess I can go with it) considering this

Hanzawa being the only straight person among his brother puts a real burden on him with his mother being happy to still be able to have grandchildren, even if she didn't mean it

But when his brother offered to talk to their mother if Hanzawa likes Miyano, Hanzawa refused angrily Which appears that he's trying to force himself into being straight even if he wasn't, It seems that in the end, he was convincing himself to stay away from homosexuality by convincing others to do so, Although Hanzawa seems to be resigned to the idea that his friends are homosexual and he can support them, it seems that he still forcing himself to be straight (whether he's so or not) But seeing that he doesn't stop himself from getting close to Tashiro.. Future will only tell !

• So to sum up "The idea of Homosexuality used to worry Hanzawa so much that he didn't want to see or hear anything about it even as a joke especially from close people but at the end SSMY showed him a different side of it so he ended up accepting this and calming his nerves towards the others, but he's still forcing himself"

[ilovereadingandstuff]

Okay, so I was doing some chores here at my house and, out of nowhere (something completely normal forr me as a fan of bnha), chapter 413 popped in my head, especifically pages 13-14, and I started rambling my ideas...until I realized something.

Izuku is going to lose OFA.

Ok, not that, which is literal text, but this:

Izuku is going to lose OFA, and while arguing with Kudou and the others vestiges, he was crying his eyes out because what mattered the most to Izuku about losing OFA, among ALL the consequences and intricate meanings which 'becoming quirkless again' could represent...It was the fact that OFA was a gift from All Might that made Izuku's heart ache in agony at that moment.

ch. 413 Here I want to note that the spanish official translation says exactly the same, so there's no contradictions.

It was not that he was going back to his past self, not that he most-likely would have to face that discrimination he went through all his childhood all over again. Not that losing his quirk could mean that he would have to stop being a hero. Not that he was gong back on being useless/worthless again...ANY OF THAT! BUT because he is 'losing the gift, meant for him, from his daddy might'...THAT'S what was causing his tears...

And from this, I see two things:

First...

IZUKU YOU BASTARD!!

HE'S AVOIDING AGAINNN THINKING OF HIMSELF!!

And, I'm sorry, but being quirkless is not goddamn easy!

It has been explained several times in the development of the plot that bnha's society is based on superhumans: people with quirks.

Being just a regular person without a quirk is a really complicated thing to deal with, and having that particularity means facing problems both on a social and psychological level.

In Aoyama's case, for example, his parents were so devastated over the fact that their son was quirkless, and therefore, he was feeling excluded and different from others, that they reached a point of despair that they made a deal with AFO and, well, you know the rest.

Another one that comes to mind is Ragdoll. Her inclusion here in the list could be debated, but what I want to distinguish about her character is that, after losing her quirk completely by AFO's doing, she had to face a huge set back in order to re-organize her new life now without a quirk. She didn't appeared in the story for many chapter until it was explained that she was still working as a hero but in the backstage, to say in a way.

And finally, Izuku is one of the clearer examples of all this (and that's why he's the protagonist).

He had to deal with bullying, rejection and exclusion (from their classmates when he was in elementary/middle school to the entire society against him). His OWN mother had her own troubles to support him over a dream that was impossible to achieve because, once more, confront villian with a broad range of hazardous quirks against a single person was basically suicidal...

On note of all this, I have to mention this scene (which I say now: I'll bring this up over and over again, a thousand times if needed). I've mention this specific situation in one of my posts before, but now I'll explain it more in depth:

ch. 72, pages 19-20

WHAT ABOUT THIS HORI!!??! HUH!!?? WHAT'S THAT?? WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN???!! "BIRTH DEFECT"!?? "HE JUST COULDN'T ACCEPT THE TRUTH"?!?!

This scene has always been stuck in my head since the first time I read it because...here it explicitly shows Izuku's demeaning perspective over 'being quirkless'.

Here he's saying that "it's a defect", an imperfection, something he lacks on (because society has made it a necessity or requirement).

And even in spanish, even though it doesn't translates as 'defect', it highlights the idea of 'he didn't get what he should have received' (in this case, that his parents 'couldn't provide him of that')

In both languages it is mention the phrase where he explains that ' ' 'his friend' ' ' always kept believing EVEN when the universe was proving him wrong again and again.

My point here is: Izuku has a negative view of being quirkless (just as any other person in-universe would have) and with that, the possibilities of him having a list of low self-esteem issues, lack of confidence and self-value even as a human being are REALLY high...

but then, the fact that Izuku, after having been thrown around for the most dangerous villian of all, shirtless and crying with a bunch of ghosts inside his head...when they're telling him of getting rid of what he should have had always what makes him human...he doesn't think of him. of the problems he would have to face. of the pain he would go through again...

Instead, he thinks of 'the gift from All Might', almost as if the quirk were a toy All Might gave him and that he shouldn't lose it because All Might would feel angry or sorry for him...

MAYBE, maybe I'm going around the bush and making no sense... but FUCK IT! I WANT ANSWERS, HORI!!

I NEED THEM!! I'M LOSING MY MIND!!!

Why is he refusing himself again?? Avoiding HIS feelings but worrying about others'? Or rather, worrying about THE THING instead the consequences it causes the lost of it??!

WHY IS HE ALWAYS THINKING OF ANYTHING BUT HIM?!

Second...

Ok. Now that I've calmed myself down and said what i was meaning to say...after having been screaming internally against Izuku and all his shit...the second point I wanted to talk about was that...

With everything that has happened, a GREAT opportunity would be presenting itself to develop the dad-son bond Toshinori and Izuku have been building since the beggining.

Let me explain:

When All Might first came to town and met Izuku, their bond began to form because they were interating with one another because of OFA. The 'you're my successor' was the excuse and only connection they had to be together. And for that same reason is how their relationship exists in the first place.

So...if Izuku loses OFA. If that excuse stops to exists...the only reason for them to continue being together would be the love they have develop for one another as father-son.

If Toshinori could spell out loud to Izuku that he cares for him beyond that 'you're my successor' or 'the one I gave it my quirk'...if they could transcend that lame excuse and finally spoke to each other as human beings...

GOD, maybe I'm projecting myself here because I LOVE their relationship and i would gladly like to see Toshi legally adopting Izuku or them calling each other 'my son' and 'my dad'...but, yeah...

Those are my ideas about the new chapter.

[obey-me-headquarters]

So, I haven't gotten too far into Nightbringer to write any specific smut for it. (Literally only just started lesson 6). But I do have some ideas!!

A lot of my ideas revolve around being the demon's "first" in something. Like, you know your demons inside and out at this point. You know all their kinks, fantasies, and where to touch them to make them squirm. So you can introduce them to all sorts of things that make them scream in the future but they have no experience with now.

For example, showing Lucifer how much of a masochist he is. I don't think Lucifer is a complete virgin in Nightbringer as I think he fooled around as an angel at least a few times. I mean, he's still a few thousand years old, he was bound to get curious and try getting frisky with a few angels. But him trying out BDSM? I seriously doubt it.

So once you and him finally fall into bed together, you show him all the ways he didn't know he loved to be touched. Having such an inexperienced Lucifer is a bit of a novelty and a bit of an annoyance. Present day Lucifer knew what he wanted and he wasn't ashamed of asking for it. The Lucifer you're currently bedding? Doesn't know what he wants.

It's actually really cute how shy Lucifer is. How he tries so hard to stifle his moans when you heard much louder, much needier ones from your present Lucifer.

And you don't want to push him. It's entirely possible that past Lucifer has no interest in BDSM. That his particular taste for masochism and being owned evolved after many centuries.

But you still want to try, to possibly open his eyes to a new world of domination and submission.

So one evening, one careful evening you've been planning for. One evening in which you make sure that his brothers haven't wreaked havoc, one evening where Diavolo doesn't up to distract Lucifer cause him stress. One perfect, relaxing evening, you spring the question onto him.

"Lucifer, have you heard about BDSM?" You ask in your most light, most casual tone to not raise any alarm bells and spook the demon.

Lucifer pauses his undressing, his hands suspended in the air as his tie hangs loosely around his neck. He turns to you in slow motion, looking so bewildered and confused that it makes you want to laugh. Surely your demon couldn't be that pure right? You know he's only been a demon for a little more than a year now, but, come on.

"I'm sorry, have I heard about what?"

"BDSM! Like, Bondage, Domination, Submissive, Masochism. Have you heard of people doing that sort of thing in bed?"

Lucifer's face turns a bright scarlet and he turns away from you. Like, actually physically turning his full back to you, turning away from you. You can see his ears still burning though, and elect not to tease him about it in worry that if you do, Lucifer might become so embarrassed he'll stop being the Avatar of Pride.

"It's fine if you haven't. If you would rather I never bring it up again say the word and I wouldn't." You tell him, concern starting to creep in.

"No. No, it's fine. I just. Why did you choose to bring that topic up?" He asks stiffly, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. A classical Lucifer "I'm nervous about this topic because it inflicts Feelings in me" move.

"I was just wondering. I have been in dom/sub relationships in the, um, past, and was wondering if that was something you'll be into," you say gently, so extremely gently. "It's fine if that's not something you're into." You add.

"You have?" He asks in surprise, and because you know him so well, with a hint of excitement. "What... what role did you fall into?"

Relief crashes into you like a tidal wave. He's into it. He's really into it from what you can tell. He hasn't had any experience with subbing, you know because your Lucifer didn't when you meet him, but he was so desperate to finally try he practically threw himself at your feet.

Not this Lucifer though. This Lucifer most likely knows of the idea, maybe he picked up some porn featuring a dom/sub relationship and knows on some level that he's interested in subbing, but hasn't had the time to stew in that knowledge like your Lucifer did.

"Dominate." You say with confidence, a grin painting your face. "I like control in the bedroom."

And judging by the shiver that shoots up Lucifer's spine at your words, so does he.

Grinning, you stand and begin stalking towards your prey.

"I like taking control of my partner. Make them beg for relief. And if they misbehave, I like to punish them."

"Do. Do you?" Lucifer asks breathlessly.

You're standing behind him and you know he knows you're there. His demon sense picking up on it, and by the way he almost leans backward as if to meet your touch, you know he wants you.

"I do." You state confidently, mere inches away from Lucifer.

"But," your hand grasps Lucifer's shoulder and he flinches. "If my partner didn't want that...." You give him a light pull and he complies, turning to face you.

And oh, what a sight that is.

You missed your subby little Luci. You missed his cute moans, his tears as you edged him, and his screams when you overstimulated him. And you missed his flushed face when you lowered him into subspace.

And this? This perfectly mimics that face.

"Oh, baby." You breathe out, fighting the urge to pepper his face in kisses and pull him into your chest.

"And what if I do? Would you do those things to me?" Lucifer asks, and you're so, so proud of him for asking.

"Darling, I would do all that and more." You say as you kiss him.

Like your Lucifer did in the past, like he will do in the future, he lets you take control.

[dattosdan]

Kris doesn't NEED to remove their soul.

So, this is a short one, something i was thinking about earlier today was, hey, kris moves a lot, even when they have the soul inside them don't they?

Let me show you a few examples of this, before i get into my reasoning.

These are the two moments leading up to them ripping their soul out, obviously they wouldn't be able to rip it out, if they couldn't move at all before hand.

This is kris defending susie of their own free will, implying, that they could maybe even FIGHT without us.

This is kris backing away from spamton on their own, to be fair, frisk also does this when omega flowey appears, so this might be instinctual and not of their own volition.

And finally, this is kris turning around AWAY from the player, perhaps to not show their face or emotions to us, theres also a scene from the weird route, where they turn around from us, and refuse to show us susie and noelle, but i'm kinda lazy so i didnt feel like grabbing that one.

The point i wanted to make here, was that kris has a LOT of autonomy, even when the soul is inside them, so why do they feel the need to rip out their soul at all? To risk DYING? They don't feel the need to rip out their soul in less dire circumstances, so why do they always do it at the end of a chapter?

I get the reason from a meta perspective, it's to show kris is doing these actions of their own volition, separate from the player, aka the soul.

But what's the in-canon reason?

I came up with a couple of my own explanations for it, if any of you have your own your more than welcome to add on.

My first explanation is as follows: This is SUPER meta but, maybe kris needs to TRIGGER a CUTSCENE in order to move around, think about it, in literally every other screenshot i showed you besides the ones where they rip out their soul, someone else had triggered a cutscene, and kris could move in it, maybe kris can ONLY move in a cutscenes as a protagonist, maybe ripping out their soul is the only way they can trigger such a thing, but like i said, this is pretty meta, so i would get if you don't believe this.

The second explanation is as follows: Maybe kris doesnt want us to SEE what they are doing, but could do it regardless of us being in them, this is the one that is least believable in my opinion, mostly because like, at the end of chapter 2, they arnt even trying to hide what they are doing from us, but i mean, they HAVE hidden stuff from us before, so it wouldn't exactly be out of character for them to do, maybe they thought we couldn't see inside the couch cushions?

The third, and final explanation i have, is as follows: Yes they can move with us in them, and has SOME degree of autonomy even while we are controlling them, but it's not enough to do what they WANT to do, this is probably the most believable, maybe they don't have FULL control over themselves when we are in them, only able to make minor movements or actions, and they NEED to rip out their soul to travel further, and do some other stuff like open dark fountains, after all, determination is ones very will, you wouldn't be able to open a dark fountain with someone ELSES will inside you, someone who doesn't WANT TO do that, could you?

Anyway, this is just a thought I had, sorry, I really thought this was gonna be shorter, but once I start typing, I can't really stop haha.

Uh, feel free to leave your own thoughts or ideas about this in comments or reblogs, sorry for not posting in so long, life has gotten... Busy, and I don't have as much free time as I used to.

[starguardianniom]

Adrien and Marinette screwing each other's character development

That's literally what happened in season 5.

5 seasons of Adrien trying his best to break free of his dad's abuse and control only for Marinette to honors Gabriel's wish and make him believe he was a hero and a good parent, despite having front seat at his abuse, on top of fighting him, and Gabriel made the both of time cry. So now Adrien will forever think his father was a good man, when he was not. He will like his abuser, when the last episode showing them together has Adrien showing nothing but hatred toward his father for thinking he knew better for him when he was just doing what he wanted Adrien to do and not what Adrien wanted himself.

We spent 5 seasons watching Marinette trying and failing to confess to Adrien, only for him to confess to her instead which rendered kind of all her efforts pointless, on top of not having to learn the many lessons that she should have, like regarding his private life, or start seeing him as a person and not a perfect angel who can't do no wrong. They even had some jokes at her behavior, behavior that they later learned was because she had a traumatic experience which made her decide that the next poor sod that would catch her attention would not be permitted to have a private life whatsoever, just because she made an error of judgement and didn't listen to her friend's warning, something she keeps doing repeatedly during the series. She just gets her boyfriend and never has to change her behavior, and he doesn't get to maybe get mad or creeped out at all the stuff she did for him while she could barely speak to him, let alone struggle to stay close less she ran away out of being scared to ask him out. So her toxic behavior also doesn't get to be toned down. Biggest example is after learning that Gabriel is Monarch, she goes to speak to him because she wants Adrien back, not to stop Monarch once in for all. She has to when he finds her in his house and she can't hide much longer.

The main difference, Marinette has been aware since forever that Gabriel was pretty controlling with Adrien and got depressed over it several times since it meant she couldn't hang out with him. And she still sided with his abuser because she didn't want Adrien to deal with the backlash of knowing his father was the local terrorist of the city. A guy she spent 5 season fighting, and spent the last episode of season 5 beating up because he prefered to go with his crazy scheme instead of respecting his wife's last wish. And she decides to respect Gabriel's last wish instead of being honest with Adrien and the rest of the city, which I'm sorry to say, is beyond horrible of her. People deserves the truth, so does Adrien, stop coodling him like his father tried, he doesn't need it.

Meanwhile Adrien just learned in the last season that she had a crush on him. And saw her doing some pretty weird stuff, but never truly saw the real depths as to how far Marinette was willing to go to get his love. He didn't see her bully Kagami, he didn't see her lie and manipulate her parents to make her follow him to Shangai and abandoning her uncle on his birthday just to go stalk him, among other stuff. So he isn't aware of the worst of Marinette, and half of it he thinks she's just weird because to him that's how she's always been, weird and quirky but still charming and cute somehow.

I kind of just realised that while reading other posts about those subjects and just saw that they both ruined each other's development, Adrien unintentionally and Marinette, intentionally.

EDIT: chocolatevoidpizza made me realize I was victim blaming Marinette for the cruel prank she went through in Derision via the line "just because she made an error of judgement and didn't listen to her friend's warning".

That is unfair on Marinette and I apologize for writing that and take it back.

I however won't delete it cause I need the reminder to not have a repeat of that and I need the lesson.

So thank you chocolatevoidpizza for opening my eyes and knocking sense back into me.

[justabigoldnerd]

Hey y'all, in just two days it'll be Grief Month, so I've decided to compile a list of things that people who haven't experienced the loss of a close loved one might not think about when writing grief in fiction.

*eye twitches*

This is definitely a healthy way to cope probably

ANYWAY (below the cut because TW for death and grief)

Absence. You notice what's *not* there anymore, and you notice it *loudly*. This is the big one that I don't see in a lot of media. The space just feels empty. Devoid. For a real life example, I had a beloved cat who would literally scream for attention because he didn't understand how to come up and ask for it. When he disappeared, I couldn't stop thinking about how quiet it was. Something was very obviously missing. So, make your characters notice the lack of the person they're mourning. A lag in conversation where they would've added a quip, the kitchen being silent when it was always bustling, a character who always left the TV or radio on passes and suddenly there is no show or song playing quietly in the background. The quiet, the absence, it's oppressive. It makes you want to cover your ears. Oddly enough, sometimes that helps. A song that covers this well is "Through Me (The Flood)" by Hozier.

Memories. This one seems obvious, but it's not just crying in bed to a photo of them. It's *avoiding* photos of them, reminders of them, rooms they've been in, places they've frequented. Everything that reminds you of them feels like it's tearing your body in two with rusty shears. I once locked myself in the middle bathroom of my house because being in any other room reminded me too much of my dog who had passed suddenly at 9 months and I had a panic attack fueled by memories of her. I couldn't even sing or dance anymore for a long time because that's what I was doing with her just the week before she passed. I've only recently been able to look at photos or videos of her again.

Time. In mid September, it will have been two years since my best friend, that 9 month old pup passed. I am still reeling with grief. Your body is a clock and it *will* remember when your loved one passed, even if your mind doesn't. You'll start to think of them more often, you'll start going through the cycle of grief again and you won't know why, until it hits you. It's that time of year again.

Blame. Irrational blame, specifically. You'll blame yourself, others, "if only I had been quicker", "if I had known", "if they'd have just locked the door like I kept telling them to", "if they paid closer attention", and even "If they'd have *cared* this wouldn't have happened." It's wrong, it's bitter, it's hurtful, but it's a part of that grief.

Keepsakes. Not your father's watch or your grandmother's blanket (which are still perfectly lovely and valid!), but the pants with holes in the ankles from my late dog's teeth, or the glasses with a crack splitting one of the lenses from where she grabbed them and took off. I was so angry at her for it at the time. Now they're some of my most prized possessions. I could never get rid of them. They still have her marks. In that same vein is the amount of stray hairs of hers I would find. I kept them all. Sometimes I would just sit on the floor and pick up her fur. The day I realized her fur had stopped showing up on my clothes, I sobbed.

Love. We all know the quote. "What is grief if not love persevering?" As beautiful as it is, I call bullshit. Grief is selfish. It takes all the love you have inside of you and covers it in cement because if it can't have it, no one can. It prevents you from loving. In fact, it made me hate one of my dogs, Petunia, for a long time. It wasn't her fault. She is a beautiful, sweet, sensitive little flower and I do love her now. But grief made me look at her and feel so much rage. Because that was supposed to be *my* pup, not this new thing. I still can't love in the same capacity that I loved Giz (my 9 month old pup, my best friend, my world). I love my dog, the dog that chose *me*, Laika, in a different way. She wormed her way past the walls that grief had built up and made a home in my heart. But Giz lives there too. Laika is my girl, but she'll never be my Giz.

That's all I can think of right now. I might add more as the month wears on and I remember things. Hope this was at all helpful and not just. Idk. Sad.

[unforgivablego]

I don't like how people after Comic Con continue to be unhappy. I mean, Neil gave us literally everything. That is, this is the best that he could provide nine months before the release of the S2. The content could've come out much later, I think around May when the official trailer comes out. But we were just given so much interesting cool information literally a year before the release and people just say that they don't like it.

I a little understand why people felt bad abot Neil because of the S1. Like there was no official confirmation of the relationship of the main characters. It meant that the cherished "I love you" didn't sound. Like, the second Sherlock, queerbaiting, Neil wants to get more audience using homo relationships that are so popular right now. But hey, Neil always said that AziCrow were in love. This was long before gay relationships in movies were the norm.

The book was published over 30 years ago. In the fucking book were so many hints of something between the main characters that I don’t understand why people even get pissed off. You don’t need to run far for an example, let’s take everyone’s favorite: “Just remember I’ll have known that, deep down inside, you were just enough of a bastard to be worth liking,” — which literally sounds like “you are a fool, but I love you / you gave your flaming sword to people and impressed me to the depths of the soul,” or when they hold hands, saying their last words to each other before they die, or “Come up with something or… or I’ll never talk to you again,” after which Crowley just stops damn time, because, of course not talking to an angel is much worse than death. Guys, the rest of the characters in the book think that they are together, people and angels, Shadwell generally calls them a couple of Southern pansies (thanks for correct me). “Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.” — many also liked this moment. And that's not all there is. And the book was published in the 90s!

In the S1 were many new scenes built mainly on the development of their relationship. There were events that were not in the book at all, which were invented specifically for the series to diversify the concept of their "from enemies to lovers" canon. In the third series Neil gave us excerpts from different time periods, in which AziCrow gradually converge.

The most popular scene in 1941, when Crowley runs into the church to pull the angel out of the hands of the enemies, knowing full well that Aziraphale can do it himself at any moment. BUT NO, he like a real knight, runs to save his princess on the consecrated ground, which burns his legs and, most importantly, saves fucking angelic favorite books. “You are important to me, take the books that I saved at the cost of my own life,” — he doesn't say this, but hey, how obvious is it, especially after the words: “I don’t need you, I have lots of people to fraternize with, Angel,” he said in a fit of anger at the last meeting. He apologizes for 1862 and tries to say that he has no one but an angel. When they, a minute earlier, after so many years of quarreling, start such a stupid conversation about a name change:

“- Anthony?

- You don't like it?

- No, no. I don't say that. I'll get used to it”

Because there's nothing that Aziraphale couldn't get used to in Crowley. Despite the differences, they will always be together, they still have a whole life ahead to discuss it. This short, ridiculous conversation is actually very important. Here Crowley understands that Aziraphale in his: “I’ll get used to it,” — informs (yes, that’s the word) that they will see each other again and more than once, that this quarrel is not an obstacle to their relationship. And then Crowley says, very gently, “Lift home,” as if he knows for sure that the angel is okay with it. The only question is, whose home are you going to, Crowley? Since when do you have one concept of home for two?

The whole mess is completed by a freaking shot in which angel looks at Crowley in such a way that here only a stupid person will not understand what the heck he is thinking about. As the background color changes from gray to pinkish, the music, Crowley heroically leaves the frame and this damned love look after him, that the viewer just sits there thinking: "Oh, look at this blushing bastard — he is so in love." All that's missing is some romantic 40s song that starts off with something along the lines of "And I realized..." Because Aziraphale really realizes in this scene that his feelings are mutual. Somewhere someone wrote that in this scene Aziraphale doesn't fall in love with Crowley and I so much agree with this. In this scene, the angel is already in love, but before that he didn't know if Crowley could feel something in return, and the freaking “I don’t need you,” — in 1862 finished him off. He thought Crowley had someone to hang out with besides him, that Crowley doesn't need him. It hurt him. But Crowley had just walked into the church for only him and saved his books at the cost of his life. This is not a moment of awareness of his love, this is not "the princess fell in love with the prince who saved her from the dragon and they lived happily ever after." This is the moment when Aziraphale realizes that YES — he is loved in return.

And Crowley's “I'll give you a lift, anywhere you want to go”, in gratitude for holy water, in 1967. Crowley, you're sitting in a car right across from Aziraphale's shop. Where are you gonna take him? You planned to rob a church a stone's throw from the angel's house. “I'll give you a lift, anywhere you want to go”. To where?

Aziraphale also excelled just great: “No thanks. Perhaps one day we could go for a picnic. Dine at the Ritz,” which definitely means, “One day we'll have a date and I'll let you do whatever you want, but not now”.

“You go too fast for me, Crowley,” — that he said in the end, leaves the viewer in a knockout. Because this phrase makes us understand that they have not been talking about friendship all this time. Here it is, the official confirmation of their love. Aziraphale gives him holy water, which means: “Despite everything, you are very important to me, I don't want to lose you, but I trust you”. He's trying to make sure Crowley knows he's loved. And Crowley understands, Crowley is used to speed and he takes the next step, but Aziraphale stops him: “Can you give me some time?”. Aziraphale is not ready, he just got here and hasn't yet got used to it. The phrase: “You go too fast for me,” sounds in most direct meaning — everything is developing too quickly, I can’t keep up with you, could you wait a little more? It finally hits me.

Fucking flirting in a scene in the Bastille during the French Revolution. Yes, then they still didn't have any definite understanding of what was happening, but I think in those years the atmosphere of the 18th century had a special influence. Debauchery, accessibility, openness and lack of shame in people. It seems to me that this was precisely what caused Aziraphale to flirt so openly and intricately. And of course the clothes. It was so seductive.

This is the best scene ever and I won't stop thinking that. What Michael as Aziraphale is doing here — OMG, his game should be banned from showing to kids because it's freaking so obscene it's embarrassing. The way he just lights up when he hears a familiar voice behind him, the way he pronounces his name, so joyfully, as if it weren't Crowley, but the She Goddes herself, who condescended to talking with a mere mortal. Angel, hello, Crowley just said about the cruelty of people, where did you swim, stop your vulgar thoughts and focus. The way Aziraphale scans him from head to toe, the way he sighs languidly, and then the phrase: “Oh... Good Lord,” said with such an expression as if Crowley had suddenly undressed in front of him. The short appraising looks that the angel gives him, as if Crowley is more sweeter than any pancake for which he swam the channel during the revolution (yes, we definitely believe you, Aziraphale) — these are the looks that are called undressing, here it is, in full physical incarnation. And the situation in which the angel allegedly fell. It's just not possible to describe how obvious it is on purpose. He's handcuffed in a local prison that definitely looks like a dragon's castle, waiting to be killed by the guillotine (isn't that romantic already?), dressed in his chicest outfit, even fucking changed his hair — for the first time in 5,000+ years! — and pretends to be very helpless, playing his standard: “I'm an angel”. He can literally snap his fingers and be home. But what does he do? He lets Crowley take care of him, creating a situation similar to rescuing a poor helpless princess from the tower, while portraying such affected and understandable innocence, as if he is not an angel, but a whore maiden who argues before losing her virginity. And why is he doing all this? Why do you think? Because at the end he just invites Crowley to bloody dinner. I fucking love this scene.

"You're my best friend" playing in the background as Crowley tries to find Aziraphale in the burned down bookshop. And the words: “You make me live, whenever this world is cruel to me,” — just aches in the heart. Even though the angel was wrong a thousand times (only because he tried to protect the two of them, sometimes out of stupidity, angelic naivety and a desire to do everything right — yes, they sometimes behave as stupidly, just like people), Crowley still considers him his closest person (?) (creature rather).

A small heart on Aziraphale's contact screensaver on his phone when Crowley can't get through (maybe an accident).

And then when he walks into a burning bookshop and breaks down for the first time in 6 episodes. He's really emotional in this scene. It's so unexpected that it's unnatural to see him like that. His voice is different, he no longer controls the tone and words, for the first time his walk tense, in this scene he cries, which has never happened before. Aziraphale is dead and Crowley feels and expresses as many emotions as he has never felt and expressed in all the 6,000 years that we have been shown. When Fredy goes into post-chorus in the background, I love that part so much. Did anyone even notice that in this scene he literally confesses his love? At the end, Crowley yells “Somebody killed my best friend!” — I can't, it's just heartbreaking.

“It's a big universe. Even if this all ends in a puddle of goo, we can go off together,” — I won't stop crying from now on, my heart shrinks every time (this is one of my favorite scenes, every word really hurts).

“I don't even like you!” — thrown by the angel for no clear purpose: to convince himself of this or to hurt Crowley. And Crowley's “You do!” in response, because, Aziraphale, who are you trying to fool. 6000 years together and you never once thought about to stop communicating. Potential enemies communicate with each other only in two cases: if they are ordered from Above, or if they themselves want it. Remind me when you received a request from the Heavenly Chancellery: "You must get close to the enemy in order to find out his insidious plans." Don't remember? No one remembers, because there was no such thing.

And when Crowley again offers to run away together in a couple of hours — YES! — Alpha Centauri — the best place to wait out the apocalypse, the main thing is not to forget my husband, otherwise he's not at all a person dear to me and in general we had a fight today, I strongly offended, but without him I won’t move a finger in the direction of escape. I'd rather die right here than start saving my carcass without this stupid feathered asshole.

Also don't forget about «holding hands» scene in a bus.

I’m not sure I have much time to end this digging.

And even this is not enough for people? The series not only improves the book and confirms their romantic line, but with the help of the actors and their wonderful performance, creates a masterpiece using gestures, facial expressions and removing innuendo, taking away the opportunity to imagine something left, allowing you to focus on what your eyes see.

Neil said three hundred times that this is a fucking love story. And people just shit in his canon and say: they didn’t say “I love you”, they don’t fuck, what kind of love is that, you're doing everything for popularity. Shut your fucking mouths! Neil is just tired of repeating endlessly that they are an angel and a demon, they are supernatural entities that do not fall within the framework of human relations. Their love is on another level. They are not gay because angels and demons are genderless, which means they have no gender (which also means they can choose their gender at will and change at will, as Crowley did). They are not asexual, because these concepts are invented also for people.

And you know what? Neil just spat in the faces of the fans with a fucking poster of the AziCrow standing in front of a fucking heart made of wings. “Here it is, just choke with this your's canon, here are both main characters against the background of the wrong organ which means love to you, and just try to say that this is not an official confirmation of their relationship.” He crumpled up a piece of shit that prevented him from living and smeared it all over our faces. “Eat,” he says, “I am a local Goddess here and have descended to give you food (for fanfiction). Don’t thank.”

Neil talked about how after the events of the proposed third season, they would move into a fucking cottage in the St. Downs and live together like fucking old husbands. He gave a nod to Crowley's already-acting move to Aziraphale's bookshop at Comic-Con, showing exactly that moment from S2 and no other. In a bloody interview after the panel, he revealed that this season is gonna be "quiet and gentle and romantic" compared to the first and hypothetically third season, and given that the show will have 2 kisses - just choke on fucking tears of happiness. He bombarded Tumblr with answers to leading questions, gave information about when the S2 would be released approximately, leaked new characters, a teaser, part of the plot, a concept photo and people like: we don’t like it. So what is wrong with you, guys? Because I believe that what we have is the best that could be, the best that we could have. And we got it for absolutely nothing.

Yes, golden potato jokes are funny, I wrote a couple myself. And kindly mocking Neil can be fun too, especially when we get the same thing in return. It's a relationship between the author and the fandom, and I really like it. But let's at least sometimes be understanding and patient. I don't like to watch other people's dissatisfaction knowing how much Neil has done for us. So I want you to don't forget about it too. No need to buzz about the teaser and video that we didn't get for Christmas. We all want to please Beelzebub with a tick in front of the task “Annoy Neil every day”, but can we show angelic patience? Neil knows what he's doing. Let's trust him.

[kangshxrtie]

ch. 5 ⤍ first meeting

you sat in the car on the way to the hangout your friends have planned. you nervously played with your phone on the way there.

you weren't the best at keeping conversations going with new people so you were thankful that friends would be there to make it easier. you had a fear of embarrassing yourself, especially because there wasn't a camera, and you couldn't call it content.

this is why you only had a few select friends that you were close with. all of which happened to be more of the social type, like right now for example.

you were cut out of your thoughts by yujin hitting your shoulder making you dramatically grab it and exclaim, "my arm?!" before giving her a 'why the fuck did you do that' look.

"are you done daydreaming? we're here" yujin responded.

"you could've tapped me" you said as you grabbed your things before getting out of the car.

"i did! you just ignored me"

"maybe because i don't respond to dumbasses like you"

"you're the dumbass" yujin retorted.

"i love how my two favorite people just get along so well" wonyoung said sarcastically coming in between the two of you and wrapping her arms around the both of you as y'all continued walking.

"she started it" yujin mumbled.

"you literally tried to attack me while i was distracted"

"your fault" she shrugged in response.

you all walked into the cafe and yujin called chaewon to figure out where they were.

you looked around the cafe trying to calm yourself down and also maybe find an escape route just in case.

wonyoung noticed your nerves and tried to comfort you by rubbing her hand up and down your arm, "don't be nervous"

"my heart is beating so fast right now" you told her.

"you can hold onto me if you need to" wonyoung grabbed your hand making you instantly calm down a little bit.

"thanks"

"they're almost here, they're like two stores down" yujin said as she put her phone into her pocket.

once they made it to the cafe you all greeted each other casually, well everyone except you and kazuha. as you finally let go of wonyoung's hand to go greet kazuha sakura stopped you.

"kazuha is really excited about meeting you" sakura whispered to you with a smile on her face.

everybody stood around in a small circle surrounding you and kazuha.

"why are y'all so dramatic" you chuckled before looking at kazuha.

you smiled at her with a hint of nervousness, "hey kazuha"

"hi y/n" she greeted back awkwardly playing with her hands.

"should we hug or something? or would shaking hands be better?" you asked.

"hugging should be fine" she shrugged.

kazuha stepped closer and wrapped her arms around your neck, and you reciprocated wrapping your arms around her waist and pulling her closer.

the hug didn't last as long as the two of you would have liked because eventually chaewon broke the two of you up, "okay, okay, stop flirting. let's find somewhere to sit"

once you were all settled and ordered drinks and a small dessert there was an awkward silence.

"why is nobody talking? most of us know each other" sakura said.

"so… how's the weather?" you asked awkwardly.

chaewon and yunjin immediately bust out laughing while wonyoung and sakura shook their heads.

"you two talk we'll just watch" yujin finally said once she stopped laughing.

"wouldn't that be even more awkward?" you turned to glare at her.

"we could play one of those get to know you games" wonyoung suggested.

"see an actual good suggestion, take notes yujin"

yujin rolled her eyes at you before taking the initiative to ask a question, "would you rather lose the ability to read or speak?"

"reading. i need to verbally express my displeasure" chaewon responded.

"speaking. i read too much to lose my ability to read"

"things are advanced nowadays. you could just have it read out" sakura added in.

"but it's not the same" wonyoung said.

"definitely reading as long as you can hear it'll be fine" kazuha said.

"you're right. i agree" you said after thinking about it.

wonyoung asked the next question, "would you rather lose all of your past memories or not be able to make new ones?"

"that's like very deep" chaewon said.

"lose the past. what's the point of living if you're not making new memories" sakura answered first.

"losing all the past memories would be hard though because there's nothing to look back on" yujin said.

"like even if you had it bad you have to have at least one happy moment that pushed you through it all" you said.

"but if you lose future memories then you'll be forever stuck in the past" kazuha said.

"maybe it is the future" you changed your answer after further consideration once again.

"would you rather be able to teleport anywhere or be able to read minds?" chaewon asked.

"oh read mines for sure. imagine how cool it would be knowing what everyone thinks about me" you answered first.

"i don't wanna know what everyone thinks about me" wonyoung said and sakura agreed.

"teleporting would save so much time, the days of being late will never happen again" kazuha said.

"that is true!" you agreed changing your opinion once again, "yeah i would teleport"

"please grow a backbone y/n. you can't just change your answer because of kazuha every time" yujin told you.

"she's a strong debater and keeps convincing me otherwise" you shrugged defending your switching up.

you all did some more would you rather questions and debated on them until everybody finished their drinks and desserts.

when everybody was getting ready to leave when you were pulled to the side by kazuha who played with her hands nervously, "you wanna play a game together tonight, just the two of us?"

"oh yeah. it'll be better without them" you told her making her visibly relax.

"can i have your number so we can text later?" kazuha asked as she pulled out her phone and handed it to you.

you put your number in and handed it back to her, "i'm better at interacting with people over the phone, so it won't be as awkward"

kazuha chuckled, "we'll both be better tonight"

after the conversation, you two made it back to your groups, and everybody said their goodbyes and you took your leave with yujin and wonyoung.

"i knew it was gonna be awkward but not that awkward" wonyoung said.

"we're gonna work on it" you covered your face remembering the events that happened earlier.

"i hope so because that'll make a very bad video" yujin said.

once you made it into the car you got a text from kazuha.

"why are you smiling at your phone so hard" yujin asked you trying to take a look at it.

you quickly closed and locked your phone, turning it away from her, "nobody. i was on twitter"

"ohh you're texting kazuha" yujin laughed.

"hmm?" you faked ignorance.

"we literally just left, what could you two even be talking about?"

"none of your business" you responded.

yujin playfully rolled her eyes at you, "i'll remember that"

this took me so long to write and for what! not my best work but hope you enjoyed it!

ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!

[lesbikaiser]

congratulations!! Pls J+E for otoya or Rin 🙏 just choose whichever you wanna write for more pookie

i did both! since rinrin is my cutie and ive never written for eita, it's just fair i guesssss

[e] experience

eita otoya

may god forgive this man for the amount of times he's hooked up. he's so experienced it makes you feel shy whenever you're with him, even if you aren't a virgin anymore, he just knows everything, every button he has to push to get you desperate for him and it's kind of humiliating how fast he can make your panties soaked. he's skilled too, fingers, tongue and hips, that boy will have you cumming in an instant doesn't matter what he's using to please you.

rin itoshi

he was a virgin before you! you were his first in everything actually – kiss, partner, even holding hands! he just didn't care enough about dating until he met you. at first he didn't really know what he was doing, you had to teach him how to please you and he was attending to every request without a question, just a little puppy following orders. though, he's a genius, it didn't take too much for him to learn exactly what made you moan the loudest, and when he did... good luck!

[ j ] jack off

eita otoya

honestly, i don't think he jerks off too often. he's just a chill guy so if he's hard and you can't help him, he'll just wait for it to go away after whining a little for you to do something. the kind of guy who does it out of boredom though, what's pretty interesting. he won't do it when horny but if he's bored, there he's pushing his pants down and fisting his cock slowly, taking his time to savor the moment.

rin itoshi

this guy... he went from never to always and then back to never. before he met you, he would jerk off once in a blue moon, not really seeing the point of it unless he was really pent-up, his strokes veeery slow as he does it just to relax. then he started dating you, and couldn't control his dick anymore, fucking his fist way too often for his own liking but he couldn't help it, you just drive him insane without even intending to. however, he stopped after you two had sex for the first time, he thinks it's pointless to do it alone when he has you to take care of him – at least that's what he says!

of course he doesn't masturbate as often as he used to, but whenever you're too tired or literally unable to help him – when he's out for a match, for example – he's quick to lock himself in an empty place – be it your bathroom or his hotel room –, pulling down his pants and fisting his cock in the fastest pace he can, mind blurred with the nastiest thoughts of you.

[kitkatopinions]

I kind of feel like it's funny when people hold RWBY and Blake/Yang up as some kind of super progressive height of gay representation that other media should learn from for a number of reasons, but the idea that "unlike other media, Bumblebee is never forced" is to me just.....

First of all

Like stop trying to throw other queer content that was fought for past insane amounts of censorship under the bus to try and make 'could've been way more queer from like day one' rwby look better. Like please tell me what queer romance in media you're talking about specifically, and explain why Bumblebee is inherently better.

But second of all..... We did watch the same show, right? "There's nothing forced about bumblebee-" Bro if you liked the scene where they kissed, more power to you. But the show writers literally decided to make the world around them randomly disregard like all other character conflicts and separate Blake and Yang from the group, putting them in a magical pocket dimension or something where their lives were in danger and the win conditions that would allow them to get out was them confessing their feelings for each other. There was literally "how do we take the next step" dialogue and then the two very awkwardly started forcing themselves to compliment each other (some of those compliments were straight up not true btw.) Prior to the kiss they started telepathically communicating with each other, somehow, and that was never explained or even treated as weird, and then the world around them conformed to their emotions enough to shove them together physically after shoving them together emotionally so that they could kiss, and sprouted flowers up around each other. And then that got them back to safety. And that whole time they were written to not even wonder what was happening to other characters or if they were safe. Again, this sort of thing did not happen to any of the other characters who needed to work out conflicts, not once in the whole season, despite the fact that we were led to believe it was a somewhat regular occurrence in Ever After that was supposed to happen with conflicts in general, and despite the fact that the whole reason the 'punderstorm' got created was because of a different conflict that didn't really get wholly addressed iirc. The 'punderstorm,' the bridge, the whole thing was pretty much just created so that the world and the writers could quite literally force Blake and Yang together on pain of death.

So it's cool that a lot of people really liked seeing the people they ship get together, but it's mind boggling that people saw it and thought "what a natural and completely non-forced way for them to get together! Other shows where people discuss past romantic histories or kiss after one person was worried about the other or have weddings or whatever need to learn from this super duper natural special gold standard of queer romance!"

Again, if other people liked it, great. And it was confirmation and rep so as bad as I might think it was done, every little bit helps to normalize queerness in media, so... Whatever. But like??? Idk why we're kidding ourselves here by calling it 'natural' or 'not forced.' The writers literally wrote the environment around Blake and Yang to force them to get together on threat of death. I couldn't think of any better example of a forced romance.

[rozeliyawashereyall]

Going into a lil more detail about Korey, her scars, and relationship with her parents

KoreyAdiel

Firstly! The Adiel family are from Aakhan. Korey's parents are VERY well off, not struggling with anything major other than being horrible parents to their kids.

Korey has 2 brothers! The oldest is Esra at 24y/o and the youngest is Noah at 14y/o. And of course her adopted brother that I definitely didn't kidnap is Varen by @keyaartz <3

She first joined the hunters at 14 after losing a bet with one of the more experienced hunters, and because of the thrill.

Now, i've mentioned this multiple times that she does not have a good relationship with her parents, if there even was a relationship in the first place. Being neglected and ignored by the people who are supposed to care for you is obviously painful, mix that in with Korey's at the time undiscovered hypomania (which is basically a milder version of being manic) and prosopagnosia, the neglect affected her a lot worse than average.

So in turn, from when she was about 6 years old, started putting herself in dangerous situations to get their attention, to look at her just once. And, as she got older, her parents image started getting more and more blurry thanks to her face blindness. At 9 years old, in desperation and child naivety, she took a pair of scissors and tried to gouge out her eyes to give them to her parents, one for each, because in her head, her parents don't have eyes to see her, to look at her, so she'll give them hers.

Don't worry though! Her older brother Esra stopped her before she actually gouged out her eyes, it did leave a scar though, it's one of the three scars on her face.

Back to the neglect– Korey, unfortunately, wasn't exactly taught where the line is and when to not cross it, sure her grandparents taught her the basics of what's right and what's wrong, but have never once gone in depth about it, leaving Korey to learn boundaries the hard way. She's a lot better morally so!

Now- it's pretty obvious Korey has a lot, like a LOT of scars, most are from her being a reckless idiot desperate for her parents attention, though she does have ones that aren't from her dangerous adventures.

Example! The scar on her neck. she got that one when she was trying to save her best friend Jay from a very violent half-blood. Unfortunately, Jay didn't make it and Korey couldn't talk for about 2 weeks while her injury healed. Another wound caused by a half-blood is a HUGE scar on her back in an X shape, she got that one when she was on her first hunt at 14 y/o, she ended up catching them in the end though. She does also have scars from many, many fights.

Now from that, you can tell Korey didn't have the best experiences with half-bloods– but even then, she didn't have much of an opinion on them till she met the boys. Mostly just thinking of them as a lil more violent, strange looking person.

The rest of her scars are self inflicted to get parents attention. Actually has a burn scar on the covered side of her face from when she quite literally pushed herself into the fire, she's fine tho dw

Now– Korey is naturally hyper, it runs in the family. Her never-ending energy is actually the result of an old ancestor of the Adiel's delving into magic and drugs, though it was more magic than anything, explaining her ability to use it even if it's a little weaker than average.

Also she has INSANELY high pain tolerance?? She could jump off a mountain and barely feel anything. She can also be a little insecure about her scars when asked about them, developing a bit of body dysmorphia, but she's managing! Also gets so shy when her scars get complimented >_<

But y'know despite going through hell and back, she's still so, so trusting of others.

Let me know if you've got any questions :3!

+some doodles of Korey!