#one choice i'll explain now is that i was struggling a bit to choose an opening song but then realized

[mhokday]

see you yesterday | a tintol / triage playlist

"if you fall, i will catch you, i will be waiting, time after time."

songs are ordered chronologically to align with the events of the series!

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

good things about ep. 7:

this episode was by far the best at working with film as a medium. there were still issues, to be mentioned soon, but this ep did a lot of things that impressed me on a level of cinematic structure and format:

some actual tension!! simply showing the trio running from cerberus created investment and stakes for me in a way no monster fight or other obstacle had before (a matter definitely enhanced by the music)

the use of flashbacks!! now, i have some issues with the content of those flashbacks, but since im basically getting two degrees in assessing media i know how to give credit where credit is due lmao. these flashbacks were doing interesting things cinematically, creating parallels with percy's experiences in the present, especially that last flashback where they continued poseidon's voiceover into the present moment. fuck yes!! use the medium of cinema to your ADVANTAGE!!

related to the use of flashbacks, the match cuts!! they were so good, as they helped make visual those narrative and characterological parallels being constructed through the flashbacks. film is an inherently visual and auditory medium, and it was so refreshing to see the show experimenting and making effective choices with those tools

some issues with ep. 7 and the series as a whole:

i'll admit it. im tired of the trio already knowing everything about every obstacle they face (having to improvise in the fight with cerberus was so refreshing and retained more of the spirit of the book as opposed to uh. every other obstacle). and i think this connects with show's overall struggle with writing, adaptation, and the medium of film. these writers have committed the cardinal sin of assuming their audience always needs explanation. in any writing class (fiction and screenwriting are my personal expertise), you are told to assume your audience is smarter than you think, bc a writer's instinct is to assume they need to be clear about action and themes out of a fear of confusing their audience and the end result of that situation is a boring, overly explanatory piece of work. (an re the young viewers, kids are freaking smart!! i literally teach kids of the age range these books are directed for and they are so quick-witted. kids don't need stuff handed to them on a platter, they know how to put puzzle pieces together.)

example of the aforementioned "too much knowledge" issue: the pearls. (people have already explained the issues with medusa, the casino, procrustes, etc., so im going for a new one that's been bugging me a bit.) after percy received four pearls, the general conclusion people came to was that one pearl would break, forcing them to have to choose three people to go/one to stay and thus making the choice more "meaningful" (i.e. bc the opportunity to save everyone had been stripped). it's a fair choice, a fair reason, a fair analysis, and this is a change that bothers me but much more minimally than other changes to the show. here's the deal: the reason they had to give four pearls in the show was bc the trio already knew exactly what the pearls would do. there was no reason to give only three pearls bc that would force a character (probably percy) to raise the question of like "hey, that's not enough to save four people!" so where am i going with this?

in the books and the musical, we get the alluring line of what belongs to the sea can always return to the sea. percy gets three pearls in the book and a seashell in the musical, where he doesn't know right away the specifics of what this gift does (the seashell is an excellent example of adapting a story to a new medium, as a low-budget theatrical production can't afford the effects of smashing three pearls and causing people to vanish from the stage, so blowing the seashell to open a portal was a great move that worked for the new medium and retained the spirit of the source material - percy having an epiphany well after receiving the gift about what, exactly, the gift did and how it would help him). in the show, they issue is that they already know, thus creating the dilemma of there being no reason not to give four pearls. again, not the worst choice the show has made, but it's another example of how the show's most pervasive issue is over-explaining and giving too much information to its characters.

in short: the pjo show doesn't understand "show don't tell." they love telling even though "showing" is Most Important in film as a medium, like it's even more important to show what's going on in film than it is in prose because cinema is an inherently collaborative medium that generates a visually-dominated product. the show clearly lacks a fundamental understanding of the medium it is working with!! and that is bad!!

another issue: the lighting. this show suffers from the current trend in film to make dark scenes impossible to see in.

more characterological problems: the gods are not imposing. just to speak of ep. 7 alone, why was hades so... banter-y? in the book he literally makes percy's hand "move... against [his] will" to show him the pearls. there was none of that power and domineering energy in the show!! the pjo show keeps hammering us over the head with what should be a series-long revelation about the gods' flaws and pettiness and spite and misuse of their incredible power, and yet all of the gods seem almost like... caricatures. where is their ability to be charismatic and threatening. to be lax and powerful. to remind us that they can, have, and will kill demigods.

core thematic issue: the show lacks the humor and fun and adolescent spirit of the books. i've seen a lot of people insist the show is directed for young readers of the book, which i don't disagree with, but the lack of humor and energy and vitality is undoubtedly turning off a lot of younger viewers. in a lot of instances, everything feels so gritty and angsty, lowkey like the winx adaptation (but on a less severe scale). we have moments of sass/sarcasm, moments of levity, but it doesn't feel like a core trait of the show (much less of percy) like it does in the book. and honestly, i think that's a loss! if rick wanted a grim pjo adaptation, fine, but i wish the show hadn't been advertised as something perfectly attuned to the spirit of the book bc it's just not. if it was, i'd be laughing a lot more.

now, let's talk about sally...

i don't love how they've characterized sally in this show. i respect that they wanted to "modernize" her character and more accurately demonstrate the struggles of a single parent raising a child with learning (and in percy's case, also magical) difficulties. i genuinely do respect that choice, and i can follow the thorough-lines created in the show that illustrate this revamping of her character. similarly, i can respect that they didn't want sally to seem like a stereotypical "passive" victim of abuse re gabe, hence her explicitly pushing back at him. that said...

i still don't think these are effective or necessary changes, because i don't think sally was portrayed as overly passive or as a perfectly equipped parent in the book. i understand the argument that gabe is still presented as abusive, i.e. that he checks her phone without permission and controls access to the car, but those moments feel so technical. when i rewatch those scenes and examine the acting (both line delivery and bodily cues), sally is outwardly derisive toward gabe ("who's yancy?" / sally sighs and shakes her head, exasperated, has the long blink to give an extra beat before responding: "the school."), yet at the same time there's a banter between them, where sally insists that she's going to go to montauk no matter what, and if gabe disagrees then she won't bring back both their sandwiches for the knicks game that they apparently watch together often (implied by "you know i hate watching the knicks alone!" "so do i!"). sally holds herself confidently in this scene (hands on her hips). gabe is forced to actually ask politely for his sandwich order (and notably holds his shoulders slightly inward, visually closing himself off in a physical representation of surrender). two of my friends, diehard pjo fans who are not literature or film scholars, were both confused as to why sally and gabe seemed to be bantering within a seemingly standard relationship dynamic - not necessarily the happiest of couples, but a standard married couple (as opposed to clear imbalance of power between them in the book).

to be clear, it's not that sally needs to be a "passive victim of abuse," and it's certainly not that the show needs to explicitly depict gabe hitting sally or percy for us to understand that he is abusive. my issue is that the show seems to have not understood what made sally a strong character initially: her willingness to endure anything for her son, including marrying an abusive man who smelled so rankly human in order to prevent monsters from finding them. like, sally resisted gabe's abuse in the book! the reason blue food is a major motif in the first place is because sally and gabe had a fight where gabe insisted blue food wasn't a thing, and thus percy observes that "ever since, my mom went out of her way to eat blue."

in other words, verbally standing up to one's abuser is not the only way to demonstrate that a character is not a stereotypically weak, helpless, passive victim. it's definitely an easy choice with regard to cinematic staging (and the show has a pattern of taking the easy way out of conflicts and nuance), but i think the real issue is that sally's vocal protests come in tandem with the defanging of gabe. why does his body language and tone falter in arguments with sally? does he not have the upper hand? where is the evidence of an imbalanced power dynamic? there is no one way to write abuse bc the tragic reality is that abuse happens in an infinite number of ways, but nonetheless i am frustrated with the route the show went down in the first ep bc it feels reductive to the core of sally's character and her strengths: her endurance, her implicit but present rebelliousness, and her love for her son.

im also not a fan of some of the flashbacks we're getting with sally. it's not that sally shouldn't be "allowed" to get frustrated ever, but a major element of her characterization in the books is that she didn't take that frustration out on percy. i just don't see sally jackson getting upset that percy doesn't want to swim (beside that, i can't imagine percy not wanting to swim lmao). i just don't see sally jackson almost aggressively telling percy that he is the one making their goodbye ugly (because he's being a kid?? who doesn't want to leave his mom?? you're telling me sally wouldn't recognize the root of his anxiety immediately??). i just don't see sally speaking vaguely to percy about there being things she has to do that he doesn't understand instead of doing her best to meet percy where he's at with her explanation. if someone is coming to this show without having read the books, i genuinely think they might be starting to question sally's parenting, i.e. if she was really as wonderful a mom as percy insists or if he simply sees her through rose-tinted glasses. bc here's the thing: percy does see sally and his mom's struggles through rose-tinted glasses, and it's because sally bottles up and hides her struggles and frustrations from him. she doesn't let percy witness those frustrations. as such, there's an incongruity between book!sally and show!sally that doesn't mesh for me.

in short, show!sally feels like a new character to me. that's fine if that's the route they wanted to take, but again: why advertise it as a faithful adaptation if you're not going to be faithful to the core elements of central characters?

im also disappointed by how much the show has stripped annabeth of her character besides her intelligence. i have some thoughts about the adultification of young Black girls and the fact that annabeth is Black in the pjo show, mostly that i can't tell yet whether the show has the self-awareness to offer commentary on this reality for many Black girls through annabeth's character being seemingly defined by her intelligence and maturity or if they're simply unwittingly replicating this circumstance. i need more material before i can make a concrete assessment here, but all the same, i wish they were allowing these kids and especially annabeth to be kids - to make mistakes, to fall into traps, to have little crushes and get flustered, and to not know everything about every monster/obstacle before they come to face it.

people have talked to death the issue of the pacing so i won't belabor it but in general this show has terrible pacing. the first two eps are rushed (we got so little luke that im concerned his betrayal won't have much heart/meaning/oomph in the final ep), the constant unnecessary exposition creates periods of narrative drudgery, most of the fights lack tension bc the choreography is effectively nonexistent, them missing the solstice deadline has so far sucked the wind of the energy of their quest (of which there wasn't much in the first place bc the show did a poor job establishing the looming threat of a globally destructive war being on the horizon), and in general there's no sense of stakes. sigh.

i probably have more thoughts, but i'll stop for now bc i've got a shit ton of assignments to work on. in sum: the show lacks an understanding of how film operates as a medium, and while the merit of the show as an adaptation can be debated, it's simply a poorly constructed and lackluster piece of tv.

(but on the bright side? the trio is killing it even with the weak material they've been given, and their acting talent is the only reason i and many of my friends have kept watching)

[blood-choke]

Hi, I have a question about mc

So, I’m still in the beginning part of chapter two (mostly because I keep pausing to read other variations of my options I choose instead of just playing the game uninterrupted lol); and I was just wondering about some things.

I’ve gone through most asks on her about V and the way she treats mc when mc doesn’t go her way and I sort of understand her aggressiveness though it’s still triggering as I’ve not really seen the good parts, cuz my mc doesn’t trust her and finds her secretive nature suspicious; but I wonder like, was mc a bad person before entombment?

Like obvi everyone isn’t black and white and has grey areas in personality, but in the beginning Val just seems so triggered (?) that mc is alive again and here again with her. She only seems chill when you pick options that align with what she wants, but outside that, she seems truly disturbed like she needs to take a breather or sth.

This also came to mind cuz of how Hana talks about us TO us. Like saying how she expected us to not be like Val and her seeming disappointed that we were similar to Val, in that scene were we discover phones for the first time. Like, is that just cuz of the choice that prompted her jealousy, or is that because of how mc was a person before?

I hope I constructed those questions well lol, but it just makes me wonder if certain ways they react towards the mc are just cuz of how they are a people or cuz of how mc was as a person. Cuz it seems like she and Val had a pretty turbulent relationship; was that due to their personalities or the times they were in? I feel like that’ll be answered as the story goes on, but yeah; I do wonder if mc’s previous personality majorly influences how H and V act towards us.

this is not solely directed at you anon but i have gotten a lot of asks that essentially boil down to "who is the Correct one in this situation" and i've been kinda vague or ignoring the messages because it goes against the whole point of the story, but i've received enough questions like this i'm just going to do a blanket response to explain what my intention is with writing this and why there will be no straight answers to most of these questions.

i'll put it under a cut because it's going to be long (and i guess if you want to avoid potential spoilers). i'm not going to get into details, mainly just the overarching themes that i'm trying to communicate through the narrative and with characters like the mc and Valentina.

first, to start, let me talk about Valentina:

Valentina is written in a very intentional way. she is meant to be erratic and hypocritical and not very nice. she is hundreds of years old, and at this point nearly the entire last century of her life was spent in a controlling, abusive relationship. she is going to be both defensive and aggressive because she's still in a lot of pain and struggling to work through it. she has trust issues, she thinks everyone is using her for her money, she is very paranoid and sensitive. she, as the kids say, needs therapy. this does not absolve her of her poor treatment of Hana and the mc currently, but i hope this explains it better. she is meant to be a polarizing and challenging character.

i've said a few times now that you are never going to know who is telling the truth about Standard, you're never going to get a moment in game where it tells you exactly who is Right or Wrong. i've written Valentina the way i have because yes, you are supposed to doubt her, but also i'm a bit astounded by how many people seem to just have no sympathy for her at all (again not directed at you anon but just in general.) while you're never going to know if it was her idea or not, if she chose Standard or not, or even really know what happened between her and Julien, the indisputable facts are that she, as a lesbian, had to marry a man out of desperation and was forced to be his wife and daughter for nearly 90 years. she is not going to be well adjusted after this. she is not going to want to talk about this. she has valid reasons for being reluctant to share the horrible things that happened to her, as well as being a little suspicious.

she is a tragic character. she is the antithesis of the "perfect victim." we will get to have a bit of a "confrontation" with her at the start of the next chapter, and i'm hopeful that this will get across exactly why Valentina is the way she is in the text.

as for her relationship with mc, it has always been a bit intense, but they did love each other genuinely before. it's why mc did what they did to end up entombed in the first place. i would blame a lot of the problems of their relationship previously on the time period they were in. it wasn't easy for either of them. like i said before, being a vampire was not a get out of jail free card. it's been hinted at but mc and Valentina were living in poor conditions until the 1910s, where they finally started getting a foothold, by trapping and killing men and with mc themself dressing up as a man. but then what happened, happened, and mc was entombed in the 1920s.

was mc a bad person? i mean they very much did murder people along with Valentina. it's up to you how you feel about that. she murders people now in the demo. she's a vampire, she doesn't really have the same ethics as we do. was she bad to Valentina? sometimes. Valentina was bad to her, too. were they "toxic"? maybe. mc doesn't remember, and honestly Valentina doesn't remember that much either.

the mc waking up with no memory, while a convenient plot device in an IF game like this, was also done intentionally. you're never going to know if the mc was really a "bad person" though playing through you can probably feel that the mc does suspect that they were - is it true, or is this an insecurity around their butchness, a fear of her own masculinity? we don't know. part of the narrative is the mc reconciling this fact, as well as understanding that either way they can choose to be better - she's been given a second chance. she does not have to be a certain way because of who she is - the parallels being drawn between her and Standard are there to acknowledge this negative view of butches as just "men lite" as well as this bioessentialist idea that masculinity = bad. but just because the mc is butch does not mean she will end up like Standard or Atlas or Julien. and those three aren't bad just because they're men, they're bad because they choose to be bad and abuse their power over marginalized people. this is something that will be expanded upon as the story progresses and mc gets more comfortable in their identity and we see more of the council, particularly Sasha and Cassius.

and now with Hana, she's never met the mc before, so she kind of has this preconceived idea of her, and you do get that comment both because she's a bit jealous but also because she's afraid of the mc's jealousy. if you're at the start of ch2 you may have not had the conversation with Hana yet, but her irritation comes from the fear that you will get jealous of her and want to shove her out, despite her close relationship with Valentina, and this being her home, too. she assumes you're asking because you're trying to "sus her out" and decide whether you're going to align as friends or enemies. she says you're like Valentina in that regard because, like we touched on, Valentina is very paranoid and jealous.

to be clear i do understand the game is early on, we're only on ch3, so i don't expect readers to be able to magically intuit exactly what i'm writing (some of the stuff about mc is impossible to know at this stage). but i cannot stress enough that everyone in this story can be considered "bad" in some way, and you're not going to get a eureka moment where everything is clarified. it's meant to be messy and confusing. i'm never going to outright say "this character is the One True Villain, and this character is the Righteous one." hopefully this does clear a few things up, though, and better helps you (and everyone else that has been asking) understand what's going on, and what the deal is with both the mc and Valentina.

[endlessame]

Actually, thinking more about it, the more I start to realize that... it makes sense. If we believe Kotoko with what she said about not having a sad or traumatic childhood... maybe something happened in her young adult years that made her into what she is today. I'm gonna keep pushing my agenda of regretful Kotoko, because I really, really think that even if we voted Kotoko innocent again (which I sadly doubt) she would not do the same thing again. Because we voted her innocent. We told her "hey, we approve of your ideas. Your morals are correct." And yet, look at Deep Cover. Is that the song of someone actually prideful? Not at fucking all! This is not a "It's Not My Fault". Actually, I think this is more of a "Backdraft" type song! Like. Let's analyze some parts of the lyrics which I think are. Genuinely really interesting.

At first, I think we should remember something important. The whole concept of Milgram. These are Kotoko's feelings. And I see it as a layered thing. You can stay with the obvious surface layer! Kotoko beat everyone up, she's evil. In her MV she sees herself as a guard, in control of the prison. She doesn't regret anything, we're voting her guilty.

And, you know? That is a completely fair way to see it! I just have this really personal belief about MILGRAM and forgiveness. I believe Kotoko represents the most brutal part of Milgram's whole moral system, but I'll explain that later on.

The thing with Milgram is, you can choose to stay in the upper level. And no one will judge you for that. But... also you can try to look at the motives. Look, analyze, understand… and forgive. I think what this is all about. And looking at Deep Cover, I don't see a person saying that they've got full control over the prison. I see an scared, regretful person trying to convince herself that she has even the slightest bit of control left in her situation.

Now I want to draw some attention into some lines I've seen... not a lot of people say anything about?

god she's so pretty

Who don't we want? Give me the verdicts of GUILTY. That's why I became your fangs, as the long awaited hero.

And,

So make yourselves my reason. Just choose the only choice, GUILTY. Say that sympathy is useless. Hate evil as the evil that is.

Damn, girl, ok!

Again, layered thing. We could say "Oh, this is just Kotoko telling us to vote everyone guilty because they are guilty except her...!" Do y'all really think she means that? Do you all really think she THINKS that? Because I really don't. I really believe Kotoko is pushing us to vote her guilty. She wants that. Why? Because as I said earlier, not only she's regretful, at least to some extent... but also she represents the worst parts of the Milgram ideology. Milgram tries to make us look at this prisoners as people with problems and struggles who drove them to murder. Milgram is asking us to understand, while Kotoko represents the hatred and the desire for revenge that Milgram, specially Jackalope, is trying to make us do so much. "You can vote based on whatever you want!" Yeah, we can, but that is not the right thing. If it's not clear by now, I'm a firm believer in the All-Inno theory. I believe every single prisoner should be voted innocent, and that doesn't mean that they will all end up as murderers believing that they're right. I just believe that that is what Milgram is trying to do, as in the end, this is THE Milgram experiment! We're being told to understand, reject the authoritarian voice and forgive. Maybe it's not the easy route. It is not, actually. But I believe is the correct one.

And now, I want to talk a bit about the girl. The girl who Kotoko killed to save. At first they had a good relationship, or so it seems? Kotoko took care of her, and they apparently met each other regularly? Until the thing we see at the end of the MV happened. What happened, really? Something happened between HARROW and Deep Cover.

So I translated this.

I'm not the best at japanese, but it roughly says:

The murder incident that ocurred in Minato, Tokyo, is currently shaking Japan. The victim is Ado Kaneshiro (24). The fact that he is the only son of Kenyu Kaneshiro (68), the representative of Akebono Shimbun, and that the person who comitted it was a 20 year old female college student enrolled in a famous university in Tokyo also helps the topic of conversation. At a press conference, Mr. Kaneshiro appeared in front of countless cameras with tears in his eyes and criticized the brutal behavior of the female student. The judicial decision is this case is "legitimate defense". According to her, she had no choice but to kill the victim after getting into a scuffle while trying to stop the victim, who was caught kidnapping a minor. The defense argued that an elementary school girl who was present at the scene gave similar testimony, and that this constituted self-defense. However, Mr. Kaneshiro claimed at a press conference that a subsequent independent investigation revealed that the body had multiple bruises and wounds, indicating that he had been subjected to more violence than necessary. Furthermore, Mr. Kaneshiro announced that the elementary school student who was saved by the college student has retracted her testimony. In addition to the possibility that the elementary student had received some sort of threat. [...] This refers to the rumors about Mr. Kaneshiro. The female college student in question was hailed as a hero by [???] who said, ``An unidentified rumor of multiple murders has surfaced, and it is a legendary internet meme that leaves doubts about itself.'' It is said that there is Mr. Kaneshiro strongly condemned both.

Okay, so... this is a Really rough translation of what it says, I specially want you all to take the red part with a grain of salt. I don't think it's quite right, because Kotoko's finger makes them hard to read and translate. But there are some really interesting things. Hat girl retracted her testimony? Was this what upset Kotoko?

Anyway, I think by far the most interesting part about this is... the last part. That one about multiple murders, how Kotoko was hailed as a hero... and an internet meme? Did Kotoko by any chance become this kind of revered hero? Did she drown in the knowledge that she was right? I believe that Kotoko had a bit of a meltdown because not only she became what she hated the most, but also... everyone loved her for it? She's inviting us to vote her Guilty to continue the cycle. She wants us to keep punishing evil, and if that evil is her, so be it.

I honestly think this is an amazing way to end T2 because it leaves us with a question. Kotoko... will you forgive her? Will you understand what she did? Not only Kotoko, but everyone?

Or will you just say they're murderers and continue the cycle of guilt?

Because, a 100%, this is the look of a heartless murderer. Not someone full of trauma and regret. Kotoko Yuzuriha regrets what she has done. I'm not saying that she's entirely putting up a façade, but she is not the vigilante murderer we all took her as.

Also, she refers to Es as another prisoner here. 11, Inept. Just something to note.

They're still here, still here, it grates me.

Who's here, Kotoko...? Who are they? Finally, the symbol of the wolf again. I'm gonna repeat myself with my last post, but a lot of people have wrongly associated the wolf symbol with Kotoko, when in fact she was (or is) never depicted as such. She's always surrounded by them, she's part of the pack. But she's not a wolf. She's only going with them.

In HARROW, we see her surrounded by a pack of wolves, then the pack grows smaller and smaller until it ends with her alone and the skin of a wolf in her chair. And now, again, we don't see a wolf. We see a werewolf, a monstrous version of Kotoko.

What does this mean, genuinely? I'm sure Kotoko has a reason to act the way she acts. I really don't believe it's a traumatic childhood thing, I believe it's something a bit more recent.

Here's my final theory.

I believe Kotoko at first acted in a group, either in an official thing, such as the police, or just a group of vigilantes. But something happened, probably their views weren't lining properly, which caused her to quit. Where they too violent? Or the opposite, were they too tame for what Kotoko wanted?

Anyhow, I believe this last shot symbolizes that Kotoko doesn't really want to have much to do with her old group. But something has made her remember them. And made her be just like them.

I guess only time will tell.

[bl4cktourmaline]

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CHOICES : as a player, you will be given three options to pick throughout the game.

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WELCOME TO LOVE VIRUS, PLAYER...

"(name)? is anybody homeeee?!?!"

"Aito, can you not scream whenever you come over here?!"

You groaned, putting your headset down on the desk as loud footsteps come running through the hallways, approaching the door quickly before knocking on the wooden door.

"Hello, are you thereeee?"

"Yeah, come in"

The door burst opened "I'm here!"

A young man stood there at the entrance of your room with a wide grin but soon fall when he saw the state of your room "(name)... what the heck...why are the lights turn off?!"

"Because i like the dark, its like my soul" You said with a smile.

"Nah uh you don't! your eyesight is already bad enough, don't go around and make them even worse!!"

"The lights burn though..."

"W-What are you? A vampire wannabe?"

"No but I would love to get bitten by one..."

"HUH?"

You ignored him, turning around to face the computer's bright screen and putting your VR headsets back on "Anyways, feel free to use anything in the kitchen... I'll be there when it's dinner time"

"What game are you even making anyways?" He stepped into the room filled with dirty laundry, wrappers and technical books laying carelessly across the floor, carefully walking over to where you are.

"It's a horror strategy game in a form of an otome game" You explained, typing on the keyboard hurriedly "It's a modded game for now but I hope this fan game will help to kick start my career as a game developer"

"Uhh... would it like rot your brain if you keep playing games all day long?"

"It wouldn't, ... it's a game that is designed the players to racked their brains in order to survive"

"Oh, so it's a thinking game?"

"Yeah, It's would be interesting to see how the players react to the consequences of their actions in the game"

"I personally think you just like watching people suffer..."

You snapped your head toward him, offended "Whaaaat?? No wayyy...I would never..."

Aito just stared at you with an unamused expression "You laughed so loud when a classmate of ours was struggling with a puzzle that you MADE..."

"Oh come on, her reactions were so good- I-I mean, it's a puzzle, of course it's wouldn't be so easy!!" You turn your attention away from the male, letting out a loud "hmph!"

"Riiiight...." He sighed, not believing a word you just said "I'll go and make dinner then... I better not find you still playing the game when I'm done"

"Okay, see you in a bit" You heard his shuffling footsteps getting further away before the door slammed shut once more, leaving you alone in the dark of the room as you let out a sigh of relief "Phew..."

Looking at your watch, numbers 16:47 PM is printed on the screen "Hmm still going to be a while until it's time for dinner, maybe I can do a test run while I wait?"

You resume the game before a pastel pink menu popped onto the glowing screen that read "Love Virus" with flowers petals decorating the frame of the computer screen.

"Switch On"

In your line of sight, the room turn pitch black, complete emptiness before a glowing pink screen popped in front of you with a question.

WELCOME TO LOVE VIRUS, PLAYER...

➤ CONTINUE?

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .

WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

➤ NAME

TYPING...

➤ (last name) (name)

ARE YOU SURE WITH THIS NAME?

➤ YES

NO

REGISTRATION COMPLETED.

PLEASE ENJOY THE GAME.

Then three different files popped out before your eyes, showing you the current route for the stage you're starting on.

[skrunksthatwunk]

ok so. kiwami 2. rooftop scene. the ending. it's a bit of a clusterfuck but i wanna talk about one detail, a problem they bring to your attention by Fucking. Talking About Her.

haruka is watching all of this unfold.

[this post is like 4.5k words long + pretty critical + has spoilers for kiwami and kiwami 2, and really minor/vague ones for a couple others. they're not that bad though, trust me (and i added a warning in the one place it is major)]

ALSO CONTENT WARNING i'm gonna talk about kiryu's passive suicidality a good amount in this one, so stay away from this if you think that might affect you negatively/you'd be better off skipping it. i'll also make a tl;dr (which i will highlight in red) at the very end if you really wanna know what my point is that will exclude those elements <3. i am also going to use a lot of choice-based language in regards to kiryu's contemplation of suicide because i think it's the lens through which the games treat the topic, but i personally don't find it a productive or realistic way to look at suicide or suicidal ideation at all. someone dying by suicide absolutely does not mean they don't care about their loved ones enough to fight on or whatever. i love you, and proceed with caution on this one.

(also i'm using the kiwamis as my point of reference because i uh. don't have a ps2? those are the games that i played, and though the differences are likely slight, i wanna be clear about that. also,, ignore the watermark on these screenshots,, i didn't notice them and i'm not retaking them. we're all gonna have to settle for youtube cutscene comps for now xoxo)

first, we have to talk about the ending of the first game.

[note: i am Really Really Confident kiryu has a conversation earlier in the game about his going to jail in nishiki's stead being him running away and choosing not to resist his two options (go to jail or let nishiki go to jail) and define his own path, fighting his way against fate to make it happen. part of why i'm so confident it exists is because it made such an impression on me at the time. it's pretty important to my interpretation of things but i also can't find it for the life of me, so uh. sorry ✌️ i really tried. this post's takes/analysis will be dependent on this scene existing, so keep that in mind. if anyone knows where to find the scene/screenshots of it, lmk and i'll add a follow-up with it]

kiwami stuff

so as she's dying, yumi tells haruka this:

that she may be dying (painfully, and right as she's getting everything she wanted), but she doesn't regret it, because at least she did something rather than running away from it all. that you shouldn't run away, ever.

shortly thereafter, when the police find kiryu and haruka, this exchange happens between him and date. here's the play by play:

date tells kiryu he can get him out of trouble with this, and that if he doesn't, he'll get life in prison; kiryu declines his help:

kiryu is so devastated (understandably) by the back to back losses of the three people closest to him that he resigns himself to life in prison, and the death-in-effect that would be. he would prefer to waste away rather than struggle through a life without them. prison was monotonous and isolating, but coming back after a decade was overwhelming, and coming back to everything being so warped and twisted, and then losing the corrupted scraps he had anyway, well. he wants to go back to sleep. he doesn't want to be in a world where everything's the same except he's on his own. better to return to safety, to die slowly in a hell he knows well than weather a new one where he has control and agency, and thus one where he has the ability to fail and to lose anything at any time. he explains to date that that loss is why he can accept his death:

date shakes him and asks him if there's really nothing left for him, no reason to keep living at all:

then echoes yumi's advice to haruka:

which makes an impression on kiryu:

date gives him a reason to live in the form of haruka, saying she'll be on her own again if he goes to jail. he hijacks kiryu's tragic protector complex to keep him alive, because she needs him, and because she's someone precious to him:

after the dust has cleared,

kiryu and date also have this exchange, where date tells him to stay away from the cops (and presumably arrest and a return to prison, the aforementioned fate akin to death), and kiryu cites haruka as his reason to stay away, one he holds to with no uncertainty (showing again that he's accepted date's logic, that his reason to keep living even when it's incredibly difficult is to care for the more vulnerable haruka). given the weight of the consequences, to me, it feels like date's telling him not to be alone with his thoughts or something. it's almost frightening:

so, what's our takeaway from kiwami?

kiryu lost everything and hit rock bottom, but he chose to fight, and to live life on his own terms, even when it got difficult. that's the narrative life lesson he had to learn to avoid repeating the events of 1995. he made that choice for haruka's sake. it's seen as growth.

and without him, haruka would've just returned to the orphanage (assuming she could make it back to sunflower at all) with no one who knew or understood what she had been through, no one to mourn with her, and no one to give her the attention, care, and protection she needs. kiryu knows what it's like to be an orphan with a limited parental figure who only checks in every so often (kazama, "aunt" yumi), and what someone will do for attention/affection from that person (via both himself and nishiki swearing up, climbing the ranks, etc. arguably haruka coming to kamurocho by herself to find "mizuki" is similar), and what it's like to lose them anyway (again, kazama, yumi). their situations parallel each others' somewhat, and that binds them further. and after losing everyone (which he blames himself for to some extent, as one can probably assume from this and 2, and something key to his arc in later games), he chooses to protect her. and this time, he won't fail. at least partially because failing would hurt him, too. he'd have nothing left again.

okay. now we get to kiwami 2.

if you forgot, the context is basically:

everybody's fighting on the roof of a building which i'm sure will not be a running theme or anything as the series goes on

there's a bomb that's about to go off and they don't know how to/can't defuse it

ryuji shot the twist villain to death, but took fatal hits to do so

sayama's like hey!! let's get out of here!!! and kiryu and ryuji are like nooo we have to settle this oughh it's punchin time and they stick her on an elevator and send her down so she doesn't have to watch

ryuji loses. sayama returns, they have a cute sibling heart to heart, and ryuji dies in her arms. sad

kiryu is in rough shape as well, and there's like 2 minutes left on the bomb's timer

here's the scene itself:

sayama tells kiryu they have to run, and kiryu says he can't. the gist is "let's run!" "you go without me" "i'm not leaving you!" "i'm in no condition to run" "i'll carry you then!!" sayama: *sees how fucked up kiryu is, realizes he's Going To Die Anyway* "ok, then i'm staying with you!" and then further bickering about that, before they give up and make out (as one does i guess)

date (he's here now) yells this at them from a helicopter:

before someone else in the helicopter tells date this:

we get this shot of haruka calling out to kiryu as the helicopter swerves away:

and kiryu and sayama have this exchange about haruka where they say they let her down, but that she'll understand:

then they hug and the bomb ticks to zero right when the credits hit. in post credits it's revealed that the twist villain defused the bomb when they weren't looking, betraying his co-villain for reasons i truthfully do not remember and am unwilling to look up. it's not about that right now.

so, how does this scene interact with the ending of the previous game?

the short answer is "badly <3" but here's the long answer:

it's about choices.

the thing about fiction is that anything you want to have happen, as a writer, can happen. it may not be effective, internally consistent, or logical, but you can write it regardless. audiences suspend their disbelief for the sake of engaging fully with your fiction, but everyone has a threshold past which they will stop being engaged in a story and either become uninvested or annoyed. writers usually have lines they're unwilling to cross as well. but in almost every story, there's at least a couple of places where they stretch reality a little to make the narrative they want happen. this is not a bad thing at all. that's how stories get told.

now, i'm gonna be real with you. i don't care about how feasible plots are like 95% of the time. it's not something i think about much, nor is it something i prioritize. i am a very character-centric media consumer, so if world building and/or plot are a bit stale or contrived, that doesn't really bother me much so long as i'm invested in the characters involved. some people can't stand plot holes or the ways musicals burst into song or whatever, and that's fine for them. but it's not something i tend to find that all that important.

this is all to say that i have a sorta affection for rgg's flavor of bullshit pulling. and it is a powerful flavor, maybe even an acquired taste, but i can and do rock with it so long as it doesn't damage the characters too much. this is why i'm not making a lengthy post howling into the void about joji kazama or the second joon-gi han or how many secret relatives there are. those things are silly and endearing and a clumsy yet heartfelt part of a series i care about very deeply. i'll joke about it, but i don't consider it much of a flaw. it's more like personality. flaws are texture, and they help a piece's identity. point is i am very, very willing and able to suspend my disbelief for these games in exchange for a good time, particularly via good characters.

(if you want another example of where i draw the line from within rgg, the answer's the YAKUZA 4 SPOILERS INCOMING rubber bullets twist, because i think 1) it's actively horrifically stupid (especially retconning a scene we SAW HAPPEN. WE SAW BLOOD ON EACH IMPACT, AND RUBBER BULLETS DON'T OFTEN BREAK SKIN THAT DEEPLY (THEIR DAMAGE IS MORE PERCUSSIVE THAN PENETRATIVE). THESE EVENTS HAPPEN IN THE SAME GAME YOU DON'T HAVE TO RETCON IT JUST REWRITE IT. OR DON'T SHOW THE HIT AT ALL SO THERE'S MORE PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY. DON'T DO THIS JUST TO HYPE UP YOUR SHITTY VILLAIN NO ONE CARES ABOUT. and 2) (a bit more importantly) i think it actively removes saejima's primary internal conflict for that game, that being his intense guilt over the 18 murders he thinks he committed, one i was invested and interested in. but this isn't a rubber bullets post.)

characters in this series walk off a lot of life threatening injuries. they survive miraculously, they escape in the nick of time, and they pull through in the end. kiryu still somehow hasn't killed anyone. almost every game in his saga ends with an "is kiryu gonna make it out this time?!?" shortly followed by a "yeah lol. lmao" postcredits reveal. kiryu fucking punches a marble statue into dust in the first game. having a story that asks you to suspend your disbelief so much and so often means that when a decision is made, it's not the writers saying, "well, this would have to happen so we are obligated/forced to write it happening" so much as "we wanted this to happen for some reason(s)," because you already know that they're not guided solely by logic. again, this is true of all writers, it's just amplified in stories like these because they've already given you so many hard mode suspension of disbelief moments (they've broken you in like leather, yeah? or like how obvious internet scams allow for self selection by being so obvious that only the most vulnerable people would fall for them. they curate an audience willing to play along with their bullshit flavor so they can tell a story that's more likely to satisfy that audience. in a good way, in a fun way! mass appeal is overrated). there is not much limit to what this series is willing to try and sell you.

so when ryuji takes lethal damage taking out the big bad, that's a choice. when he doesn't die immediately, that's a choice. when ryuji and kiryu send sayama away in the soon-to-be-forgotten elevator so they can settle this like men or whatever despite the literal actual bomb about to go off, that's a choice. when sayama comes back, that's a choice. when ryuji does die, that's a choice. when kiryu determines that he can't escape in time, that's a choice. when sayama is unwilling to leave him, that's a choice. when she says she'll carry him out and there's an elevator right fucking there and then she's like never mind i guess i won't anymore we're dying together right now kiryu like they're not gonna even try?? wouldn't distancing themselves from the blast give themselves a better shot, something that's super possible given the 2 minutes they have with that elevator??? sayama you met him like a week and a half ago why are you ready to die with him that's not a plot hole i just think that's kinda strange whatever anyway, that's a choice. when kiryu stops arguing with her so they can kiss (next to her brother's corpse), that's a choice. when date shows up, that's a choice. when the helicopter can't save them because the bomb was going to go off too soon, that's a choice. when they put haruka in that helicopter and take her away, let her only impact be reminding kiryu and sayama that they can't help her, that's a choice. when they spend their last moments talking as if they're already dead, then simply waiting, that's a choice.

they're all choices that the writers made for the characters, and we are asked to believe them for the sake of achieving the writers' vision, as with any story. the only problem is that the writers' vision here fucking blows.

i'm not saying it would be realistic for kiryu and sayama (and even ryuji) to make it out alive, but it wouldn't be out of character for the series in the slightest. kiryu is suddenly unable to power through here, and that's a choice. so, what is their vision?

put simply, i think they wanted a romantic last stand for kiryu and sayama, a tragic scene of doomed, devoted lovers. and i think they wanted an edge-of-your-seat fake out death. they wanted spectacle.

here's how some specific choices they made undermine all that shit we talked about earlier from the first game.

once again, kiryu is called by date to live, to pick himself up and keep going, no matter how impossible the odds are. he's even reminded by haruka's presence, his one anchor in keeping himself going. the growth he had in the parallel scene in the previous game is challenged, and he fails.

it's not enough this time. and that's a choice.

it's also one i can't think of a good reason for, and that's the real kicker.

characters can have developmental backslide just like people do, and if they're given good reason for it, it can be just as, if not far more compelling that purely linear growth (i am a chimera ant arc enjoyer, and that's all i'll say. sorry if you haven't seen hunter x hunter. uhh. i am also a zuko avatar enjoyer if that helps). but i can't think of anything that happened in that game that would cause this from a character perspective. if anything, kiryu should be less likely to do this intentionally. he's spent around a year raising haruka, and a year has passed since he lost his loved ones. at the very least, the pain should be more dull, though it is established through an early nightmare sequence that his ass is (justifiably) not over it yet. given that their deaths were the initial motivation for his willingness to rot forever, theoretically, he should be more motivated to stay alive than before now that he's got more investment and stability in his life outside of them, particularly when it comes to haruka, his reason for surviving. and if the ongoing nature of the trauma was the motivator for this, then they should've had it affect him more past that nightmare scene (it really serves more as a recap of the last game than anything else) so it didn't come out of nowhere. so the reminder of the lesson that saved his life and then guided it for at least a year afterwards, one that the whole resolution of the previous game relied on heavily falls flat for... some reason.

i think this is a good time to mention that, generally speaking, you don't write arbitrary choices into characters. sure, people in real life are often sporadic, but when analyzing fictional characters, every choice is filed into a portfolio of characterization that can and should be analyzed. going for pure realism can obfuscate their development, motivations, themes, etc. their choices and reactions may be unorthodox, but they must be internally consistent. this is very related to how i view plot contrivance as well. characters drive the plot, not the other way around. stories are about the ways characters affect their worlds/lives and vice versa, and they're the human face to the themes and ideas the writers are trying to explore and express. maybe my stance on this seems hypocritical. i don't know if it is. but to me, plot issues are usually a matter of engagement and investment, while character issues are a matter of substance.

i hope this doesn't feel patronizing explaining all of this, but i want you guys to know where i'm coming from in my analysis. starting at my base philosophy on writing is the easiest way to do that, i feel. defining the terms of the debate, and all that. anyway

and i mean, look. they survive because "it was defused the whole time we just didn't see it happen", so it's not like narrative tension or realism or whatever was THAT big of a priority overall. if it was gonna be a cop-out anyway, they should'nt have ruined kiryu's development too, yeah?. and sayama fucks off to america after this game anyway, so it's not like the doomed lovers thing had much payoff or meaning after this one (though you could argue that's more an issue with yakuza 3 than yk2, which has some merit to it). which means that they chose to sacrifice kiryu's prior development and internal logic for the sake of cheap tension for their finale that was both kinda illogical in and of itself (the elevator!! the elevator!!!) and a romantic climax that neither required nor really benefitted from this staging. (like. you coulda had them make out and then get saved by date, or kiss on the elevator in a "it's moving, but will we make it in time??" way or whatever. look i'm not saying those are great options either but they're SOMETHING okay. it would remove/reduce the amount of time wasted on characters sitting around with their thumbs up their asses for no reason in this finale).

instead the message of this finale is that, actually, sometimes it is impossible to change your circumstances and fight for your own way out of an awful situation. and what should you do about this unfortunate truth? uh. die! i guess. it's the exact opposite of the encouraging, optimistic message of the last game. zetsubou chou pride my ass.

note: i feel i should mention that when suicidality is brought up within the series (particularly in substories), it is always something someone has to overcome themselves through wanting it badly enough. they simply need the inspiration and the motivation to keep going. it's arguably treated as a moral obligation. frankly, the series is broadly very meritocratic (<- bad) when it comes to this topic (and others, but that's a Whole Other Thing. see akiyama's weird loan shark tests as well). sheer will and resolve is enough to conquer any problem, be it physical or mental/emotional, and it's irresponsible to act/feel otherwise. this is the logic the games operating under, and kiryu is often the mouthpiece for this bootstrap-pulling "tough love" sentiment. so when kiryu "chooses" to die, yet faces no emotional fallout from date, haruka, or anyone else, it feels very out of place. it's not just an odd choice; it's specifically, once again, an odd choice to make in context of the game/series/character it appears in.

kiryu's just like eh, haruka'll watch her only family die right as she gets some sense of tentative stability and lets her guard down after a devastating month the year prior (and a relatively dismal upbringing before that) that we trauma bonded over. sure, she likely came to view me as the one who would stay no matter what, who was too strong to be taken out, who she could always rely on, and so i know that dying would hurt her immensely, but she's smart enough to know it'd happen eventually. her eventual recovery means it's okay for me to do this (somehow, in a way it wasn't in the first game). it's an excuse within the narrative's logic, and one it is uncritical of simply because it's kiryu. he gets a pass.

and i think with the previously mentioned passive suicidality and general series-long mental health issues kiryu displays (i mean. yakuza 5's literally his depression arc), this could be retroactively seen as an interesting choice, like a piece in that particular narrative. i don't even dislike that viewing, especially in terms of fan approach. but (assuming this went down the same in yakuza 2), they likely didn't have that in mind. all they had then was the first game and the movie. and they took the first game's Entire Message and contradicted it for nothing but a scene they wanted to have happen because it'd be suspenseful and/or emotional (without actually doing the work to earn it). and they're not fans trying to analyze his character, they're the ones making choices for him. and they chose to massacre my boy. and if the subject of kiryu's mental health was a priority of theirs, why didn't they explore that? haruka and date's feelings on him not resisting and their words not being enough (whether that blame is justified by the narrative or not (it shouldn't be btw)), the uncomfortable drifting that resigning yourself to death and living afterwards anyway often brings, literally any conversation about it besides the minimal shit we get post credits of date being like "did you know about the bomb not having a fuse?" which like. bad answer either way (which is why they weren't straightforward about it, the cowards). you can't just be like "oh uh. idk he just gave up this time. yeah he was gonna die on purpose for some reason. good thing the bomb was fake lol" and then pack up and go home!! that's stupid!! any merit the idea of kiryu dying by suicide in this scene and in this way could have had from a character-based perspective loses its weight because 1. it didn't happen (for kinda stupid reasons), which makes it fall flat and 2. no one is really affected by the fact that it almost did, including him. they sacrificed his ass and replaced it with nothing, even when there could have been interesting outcomes to it.

so the narrative effectively chose to kill him by making the situation impossible, and this impossibility is ultimately arbitrary, given the series' usual approach to miraculous, illogical escapes. that, or the choice to stay was up to kiryu and sayama, one that 1. doesn't make sense and is actively regressive in context of kiryu's arc in the only other game in the series (as well as his whole saga in retrospect) and 2. one that contradicts how the series sees/treats resignation to death/death by suicide in all other contexts without being addressed, challenged, or condemned in ways it would in all other contexts. because they don't want you to think about it like that. they want you to think he (and the narrative) had no choice, that it made sense to do that. but it didn't. it doesn't.

and look, honestly? if i was bleeding out and had like 2 minutes to live, there's a non zero chance i'd say fuck it and kiss a girl too. i get it. but i am (and this is crucial) not a fucking yakuza character. and i'm certainly not kiryu kazuma.

tl;dr (basically just rephrasing the second to last main paragraph)

there are not sufficient character reasons for kiryu and sayama not trying to escape. additionally, because the narrative regularly facilitates even less likely escapes, it's not so constrained to logic and reality that it couldn't pull this one off. the choice to let their situation be impossible this one time was a cheap and arbitrary way of forcing a scene they thought would be cool and dramatic, and in doing so they chose to cannibalize a key emotional note of the previous finale (namely kiryu's mission to dedicate his life to protecting haruka) for hollow last minute stakes-upping in this one. it is then completely disregarded anyway. god damn.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - 《Autumn Shinsengumi Sports Day!》—— The First Event: The Borrowing Items Race

Forgot to this mention last time, but this story is split into 5 segments....

Also, some of the lines I saved are missing a speaker, which likely meant that the original tl I saw was colour-coated (that person did that a lot, which usually meant that I had to manually type in who was saying what, though I didn't always do that for everything). I suppose I'll mark the lines I'm not entirely sure about with "[?]"s, though that only happens once in this post, and I'm pretty sure it's fine (it costs too much to double check since that would involve purchasing the booklet and I don't want to do that when I think what I have is more than enough).

Anyway, enjoy!

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - 《Autumn Shinsengumi Sports Day!》—— The First Event: Borrowing Items Race

Translation by KumoriYami

In front of the starting line, three men representing each of the teams, stood next to each other.

There was still a little bit of time left before the race began. A golden headband fluttered in the wind, and Kazama revealed a confident smile, as if victory was already in his grasp, to Saito and Heisuke, who were standing next to each other.

Kazama: "Listen, you two are only here to contrast my gallant demeanour that I'll be revealing before my wife. Just put in some effort while you struggle onward."

Heisuke: ""How many times does it have to be said before you can understand? We're all telling you that Chizuru isn't your wife!"

Saito: "Speaking of which, in regards to what has and has not been exposed, Yukimura isn't present because she's a member of the relief team today."

Heisuke[?]: "Whatever you say to this man will be a waste of energy."

Heisuke and Saito weakly sighed. At that moment, Kondou's powerful voice echoed through the sky.

Kondou: "Alright, is everyone ready? Then the first event, the 【Borrowing Items Race】——begins now!"

The moment the signal was given, Saito and Heisuke ran forward like a gust of wind, while Kazama took unhurried steps on the ground.

Shortly after, several slips of paper that had been placed on the ground caught the eyes of the three of them.

Kazama "Hm. What is this? Hey, you two, explain this to me."

Saito: "You really didn't listen to any of the competition rules… the first person to obtain the item written down on their slip of paper wins."

Heisuke: Then hurry up and take a look, I'll be choosing this note! Hm, let's see, let's see… Chi-【Chizuru】!?"

Saito: "Then mine is… uh? Wh-Why is this item…!"

Kazama: Hmph, it appears that you've been met with bullshit [the literal tl of the noun here is canine excrement aka dog shit]. Then, upon examining my note, this is…"

“…………”

“…………”

“…………”

——Inside the first aid room that was prepared for the sports meet, steam slowly rose from some boiling water.

Chizuru, who was taking on the responsibilities of an emergency relief member, was relaxing, and took a sip of tea and let out a sigh of relief.

Yukimura: "It would be great if no one comes to the first aid room. I hope that everyone doesn't get hurt because they're trying to show off too much…"

While she quietly talked to herself, and listened carefully, she suddenly heard a racket in the corridor.

Chizuru heard the sound of footsteps getting closer and closer, and looked incredulously at the source of the sound.

Heisuke: "Oh, she's here. Hey——Chizuru!"

Yukimura: "Heisuke-kun? What's wrong, are you injured...?"

Heisuke: "No, I haven't been hurt. Come with me… uh, coff!?"

Kazama: bastard… To actually hit on my wife while ignoring me, how outrageous. My wife, come with me. Your future husband needs your help."

Yukimura: "Huh? W-Why is Kazama-san....!?"

Heisuke: "What are you doing, Kazama! Why are you following me!"

Kazama: "A rhetorical question. My note read ���someone who admires you】. My wife is naturally the perfect choice."

Heisuke: "There is no one in the world that admires you!"

Yukimura: "Th-The two of you, wait, please don't fight in the infirmary…!"

What was happening in this situation. Chizuru, who had no idea what was going on, looked in horror as the two were pinching each other's cheeks.

At this time, someone suddenly quietly pulled Chizuru over from the side.

Saito: "Yukimura."

Yukimura: "Eh... Saito-san?"

Saito: "Hurry, come with me right now."

Yukimura: "Uh, yes...."

Kondou: "——That's the end of this match! The winner is Saito-kun of the red team!" [tl was missing the -kun so I added that in]

Under the crisp autumn sky, as the name of the winner resounded through the sky. Heisuke and Kazama glared indignantly at Saito, who had reaped the benefits of a fisherman [in reference to the clam fighting against a snipe or a sandpiper proverb, where the fisherman catches both and profits from the fighting].

Heisuke: "You're too cunning, Hajime-kun! You actually took advantage of our fighting to secretly take Chizuru away!"

Saito: "There was nothing cunning about it. I merely accomplished my task, that's all."

Kazama: "Although I am upset that you won, I am still curious about what your slip of paper said."

Kazama then quickly snatched Saito's note, and opened it up to the sunlight.

Seeing the words 【beautiful woman】 arranged before him, Saito immediately turned his face away.

Kazama: "You bastard, what the hell is going on?"

Saito: "Uh, no, that was, uh. It goes without saying that there's only one woman at headquarters..."

Kazama: "Ah. Meaning you used that to eliminate other potential targets. That means to say that the one being described here is not necessarily my wife."

Saito: "I, I didn't mean it like that! Uh..."

Yukimura: “…………？”

Listening to the above conversation, Chizuru, who was completely confused about the circumstances of what was going on, showed a puzzled expression.

---to be continued---

😂

[zarvasace]

Instead of questions from the list, I want to ask you: from the AUs/LU fics/FSA fics you've written, who are your favorite characters you've written in those fics? And feel free to explain why if you'd like to do so, I am very curious and love your writing ^u^

If we're going with specific versions of the characters, I think these are some of my favorites:

• Wild in incandescently happy: I don't write Wild a lot, but I love how he's intelligent in this one, in addition to his gremlin tendencies.

• Hyrule in Loftwings Stand for Freedom: this is a heavier story, one that I haven't written more of yet didn't expand upon, but, well. I slipped in a lot of my personal philosophy about happiness and anger, in that it's a choice.

"Maybe some people who participate in the whole thing don't deserve forgiveness, but I'm happier when I forgive. I won't forget, and I want justice to take care of them, but I won't let them take up all my emotional energy by always being angry." ... "Why choose anger over happiness?"

• Wind in Marvelous Misadventures: he's optimistic, nosy, and way too observant for his own good.

• Wind in 1931 (the vampire AU): there's just something about a stupid immortal 14-year-old who can be really dang scary when he wants to be :)

• Red, Vio, Green, and Blue in Stern destiny has seal'd my doom (another vampire AU): they used to be monster-hunting knights, with all the skills that implied, until they became vampires. They moved to an abandoned castle and started bringing order to a town, all while struggling with morality questions and foreign predator instincts. It's just so yummy. (anonymity on AO3 wrote a related work about Red that I really really love. It's called Stay your hand, love, and it's a bit heavy so watch tags :)

• FS Zelda in 'tis unusual care (sequel to above): you can tell she cares so much in this one. I tend to write her as a rather feisty individual, but she understands the world around her deeply and backs up her words with actions.

• Shadow in Consciousness (in the BotW AU): he's a creation of the Yiga/Vaati in this one, so he's new to... well, personhood. He's figuring it out, and he's already a dramatic little rebel.

• Blue in Through the Wires: this is a dumb lil sci-fi AU. I don't think I write from Blue's perspective a lot, and this version of him is extra-protective and determined.

• Four in what is a stump supposed to do?: my blog title isn't Blatant Four Swords Favoritism for nothing, but Four is a fascinating character beyond being the Four Swords Link. This fic makes him a Minish by birth, which I really need to do something else with, because it's great.

• Four in Shatterproof (disability AU): he has paraparesis, which isn't what I have, but my experiences with mobility etc were closest to what Four experiences, out of all the disability AU. I often find myself going to this version of him when I'm having Feelings.

Ummm I'll stop there, I could probably keep going. I mean, I write about characters I love in situations that speak to me (we're gonna exclude most of the whump memes for now XD) so I could probably name every single instance of every single character and tell you why I love them.

[amimuu]

*insert Ami dragging in a huge chalkboard filled with scrimbles and writings fitting to a madman* Ahem...hello...welcome to the tumblr post in which i explain my vision of how hbt au would be as a musical

Lets start (adding a keep reading so you dont have to scroll if ya dont wanna see it) ALSO. spoilers for hbt au in general including the things discussed over here, Heathers the musical and....Disney's Frozen...

so first of all I think the overall vibe of the music would change constantly as Mark's life goes on, at some points becoming lighter to signify positive changes or gaining new hope. Or the opposite, getting somber when a negative event happens.

ALSO! I think each character would get a "theme". Not directly a song. Just a part of it, a melody that incorporates into the main song each time said character sings or has a protagonic role in the song. Of course, some character's (Mark, probably) Do get their own theme song, and sometimes the lyrics of that could incorporate into other songs.

Also. ALSO. when I mention a song to reference to I mean referenxe the vibe the song gives unless I specify it otherwise

Alr i didn't really think of lyrics or names (just the vibe) so here's a list of how i think the songs would go. For now uhm...I'll give them placeholder names

No room for the both of us - Do I. need to explain. INWCT chapter 1. It starts with a phone ringing a lot as you hear someone making their way towards it, the music slowly building up until said person picks up and Alt!Cesar starts singing. ("Black out days" by the Phantogram mixed with "For the record" From 36 questions and a bit of "Kiss me (kill me) By JerryTerry. Im saying nothing else)

Warmth - Alt!Cesar makes his choice to keep Mark alive for a while but struggles with humanity in return. Warning! Lots of blasphemy in this particular song. He also talks a bit about the alternates and the morningstar....Not really sure how the vibe would go

Deer - Bambi ripoff bitch shows up. Alt!Cesar struggles even MORE with humanity (think of "Kiss me (Kil me)" by JerryTerry, mostly from the alternate's parts in which it sounds sickly Sweet yet creepy whenever it sings (Alt! Cesar does too at the start but it becomes less and less eerie as the songs go on), the song changes its mood whenever anyone else sings, and at the end the deer is cut off from singing by Cesar, who starts hitting it with a stick at the rhythm of the music, that has already shifted its vibe once again)

Bandages - That one part in which Mark is bandaging Alt! Cesar's hands and talking about his faith and stuff (The idea for the vibe is mostly soft, calm acoustic with no percussion ... I couldnt think of a song that fits the vibe ToT)

The truth - they report to Thatcher, head to the church and find the bambi rippoff bitch again. This song shifts povs between Mark and Alt! Cesar-deer also sings (Along with its Kiss me, kill me song vibe) but not a lot as it is consntantly cut off by Cesar. Theres an epic instrumental near the end as Alt! Cesar finally makes the choice to protect Mark-a mix between his theme and Alt! Cesar's (kind of like that one instrumental in "I hear a symphony". The rest of the vibe is pretty much... Tense) The music calms down after its over (maybe it could end with some violin?)

Crucifix - Confrontation between Mark and Alt!Cesar. This one particularly sounds somber, yet there is a little hope between the lines. The music and tension build up until it is cut short by a gunshot. After that there is soft music and a couple last words are sang, softly, no music in the background, by alt!Cesar. He sounds very sad :( (This one is kind of meant to sound like "I am Damaged" from the heathers musical)

---

10:15 pm - 10:15, saturday night. Mark is confused- very. Sad also. Very traumatized, definitely. Theres a couple call back to other songs as well as lyrics from songs to come.. It ends with him choosing to stick to his faith and calling Thatcher (Picture "the 30th" by Billie Eilish .u." for an idea of the vibe)

---

Cold glare - Mark's life from before he turned ten and stuff...bad times. This song is not meant to be completely and all sad as his mom is still there (this one is, actually Sang by present Mark, narrating back on the events)

Angel numbers - Mark makes a new friend :)! What could possibly go wrong? (this song ends with Mark's dad screaming- also there's a couple dialogue cuts.. I dont really have an idea of the vibe)

Cesar - Mark makes another new friend but this time it goes nicely. Cesar's introduction to the story (this song kicks off with their first interaction btw. Maybe there could be a song between angel numbers and this one to smooth out the events. There's a few dialogue cuts, mostly to highlight important events between the friends. Also, this song's lyrics get used in the future, as well as the melody, or a slightly changed version of it is meant to be alt!Cesar's "theme") (also for the vibe of this one i imagine something like "if i could tell her" from dear evan hansen mixed with a bit of "a better versión" from 36 questions)

Mother - More events on Mark's childhood, up until the events from the day his parents died..its kind of a reprise to the first song of this section but not really? Only the melody, Maybe there could be some shared lyrics. (This one in terms of vibes and bpm could be something like "astronomy" By conan gray...just that. Progressively growing more and more tense)

----

Mark Heathcliff - Thatcher's experience with Mark, from their first meeting up until the time in which Mark calls him after the events of INWCT. Meant to be relaxed and a bit sad at times- also forgot to say the shared melody present at "Mother/Cold glare" is Mark's theme- which is also present here, along with some lyrics. (For the vibe of the music i imagine something like "the story" by Conan Gray)

Roll along - Mark narrates his life after the events of INWCT. He's not doing really well but hey! He got a dog! (There are some parts in this song with small dialogue exchanges between Mark and Thatcher, mostly discussing Mark's "saintly duties"). Kind of like rolling girl but imagine an entirely different vibe but the overall mood of the lyrics is the same, Hence, roll along. (But uh in terms of song vibe picture "Dear Theodosia" from hamilton... With a few somber parts)

Crucifix (Reprise) - Mark meets again with a little someone...It doesn't go well. Have you watched the frozen movie? Yeah? remember that part in which Ana and Elsa have a reprise of that one Ana song and it ends with Elsa accidentally throwing ice into Ana's hearth? Well imagine that kinda buildup in the song as they argue, but when Alt!Cesar has enough and he pushes Mark the melody just goes into a religious chorus kinda melody (Picture the part in "Meant to be yours" in which J.D. forcefully enters Veronica's room and sees her "dead". Like that but slower and more...ethereal sounding sort of) Until its cut short by...Mark getting impaled. OOF

warmth (reprise)? - Not really a song, but yeah, but REALLY short. The lyrics change but the melody stays the same, just that...slower. Alt!Cesar is singing in a very low voice too. (Picture "some die young" by Gavin Mikhail- but a lot less instrumental) This one ends with Alt!Ces calling for help, specifially, the sound of waiting for his call to be connected.

----

Uncle - SO MARK AND DAVE MEET FOR THE FIRST TIME. Just that Mark is in a medically induced coma so.. Yeah. Dave talks about his past and his life with his parents.. Thatcher sings a few lines! Also between strophes you can hear the transcript of how Cesar's call for help went. (for the vibe its kind of like "Our Word" from the 36 questions musical... But mix it with a bit of "Non-stop" since there's a lot going on. Also its a pretty long song) This one probably ends with Thatcher saying something like "oh. Well..."

Talk - So this one is just. Soft. Thatcher is worried, Mark just woke up. And they talk. About...pretty much everything. The enviroment is pretty peaceful, yet...a bit sad. Maybe Thatcher brings up the call. Mark sure as hell mentions Darcy and they both laugh a bit at this. Probably by the end lol. (So for the vibes, picture "its quiet uptown" from Hamilton)

---

And...that's it. I am fried and this mostly were from the parts of the story that we have details off- so yeah hehe-

I think than an interesting one in the future would be about Thatcher's alternate experience...Mostly narrating what happens as the hours pass, with a very eerie tone and a few dialogue breaks from Mark, who is violently texting Thatcher (his voice is also audible in the background as Thatcher sings) until in the end Thatcer just begins singing in a very low voice after....getting rid of the bugs. And then BOOM Mark comes in(Ohhh i think the vibe of this one would be kind of like "El tango de Roxxane" From Moulin Rouge ohhhhh YEESSSSSS)

But...after that one. Yeah. No idea. Ooof. Well...I hope you enjoyed reading that cuz i sure had fun writin' it. (also finding song references for the vibes of some songs lmao)

[nanomooselet]

Wraith II

Each of the Independents - and Elendira - have an appearance for their Gate powers that's unique to them.

Knives is cold, metallic pale blue, leaving a black residue.

Elendira has deep blue and white. I think the nails she creates are pure silver. Which makes sense, as Knives's clone.

If he got to pick, I think Vash would choose bright red, green or orange. But his abilities aren't under his control yet.

It's not Vash who's represented by the twisting vortex of purple, pink, black and white.

I'll try to catalogue Tesla's appearances and speculate on what's happening. Well, her possible appearances, and what might be happening. I have no means to confirm any of it and may in fact be cataloguing my own descent into madness.

Which I suppose is appropriate, given the subject matter.

Knives locates Dr. Conrad.

Dr. William Conrad is guilty. After what he did, he must offer penance or submit to justice. Either way, he will pay his debt - and then some.

...Ooooor at least that's what Knives says.

I don't know how long this is after the crash, but I'd wager it isn't that long, because I think Knives cut his hair himself, then covered the result with his hood. In the English dub, it's not the eyeball in the blade that Dr. Conrad is reacting to when he falls to his knees and begs forgiveness.

Your eyes, my boy.

Eyes, plural.

It's the change in Nai's eyes. They used to have a green tint; now they're blue.

Everything about this, especially his appearance, is just a tiny bit off, when you look closely enough. His voice sounds odd, thick and struggling - and though his word choice is as theatrical as ever, he mispronounces Conrad's false name, calling him "Lebnant" rather than "Revenant". The blade is streaked with violet, and it and the eyeball are the only signs of asymmetry.

It's creepy. You can see right through it, at the right angle. Clear as crystal. Whatever this is, it isn't Vash or his twin. It's something... else. Something playing pretend. Something wearing a skin.

Dr. Conrad's not the one who hurt Tesla. That's what he wants you to think, so he can keep playing his idiotic, self-aggrandizing power games.

Dr. William Conrad has been slandered. He's a good man. He never intended any harm to come to Tesla. He was never at fault for any of what's happened. He wasn't in control.

The doctor tried to save the poor girl, cutting out the parasite, but it was too late; it had consumed enough of her power to access her Gate, spreading beyond her body, which made it almost impossible to eradicate for a human stuck in linear time. He could only put Tesla in suspension - a cold, dreamless sleep until planetfall and access to better care became available.

Tesla's gaze passes over the doctor… and lands on Nai.

Ah, she might have guessed. He does love duels. Black or white, head or tails, one or zero. Whose side are you on, and all that nonsense. Tesla sees that he's chosen the white. Gotta give him that: he always plays fair. One would despair of the world if he ever developed enough creativity to cheat. Or at least cheat effectively. He does take shortcuts. They won't save him.

Target locked.

It's going to take a very, very long time to recover from what he did to her and her baby brother, but Tesla's patient. Something that disgusting parody of her baby brother has never been.

The Gate opens.

What is this? / Is this... me?

The reason Vash sounds so uncertain is that because despite what all might suggest, this isn't Vash's power. Not yet. He's still too young. Still thinks he's sick, broken, useless, because of what his "brother" did to him. That's not the sort of damage you can repair all in one go. Dr. Conrad or Luida would have been able to explain things to him but neither one is exactly in the position to help; one's dangling and the other's had her throat squeezed.

Vash's guardian angel - with some assistance from their mother - is the only one who can intervene. Knives didn't fool her with his silly little pantomime of righteous revenge on the humans. You don't trick the trickster, little lord. These aren't his brethren. He's just a parasite. He wanted them as hosts.

Luida isn't a witch or a thief. She's a scientist, Vash's stepmother, a survivor.

Slicing off Vash's arm wasn't what closed the Gate - the Gate consuming Vash's arm did. We all make sacrifices to survive. This one is the equivalent of a lizard dropping its tail, except it hurt a lot more. Sorry, little brother. Sometimes lessons hurt. All she had were the butcher's tools and he's got terrible aim.

But it bought time. A hundred and forty-five years, counted to the second. (Knives, bless his dumb little head, isn't good at counting in numbers greater than two.) Vash has his weapon, his arm, his mantle. He'll carry them well. He's gonna get really, really good.

Her little brother, as always, chose the red. Tesla's bet on black. She doesn't like cowboys as much as Vash; she's always found them too cheesy. She's a goth and a fan of horror, and she's got a dark sense of humour. She's gonna be pretty, sparkly princess. A cool princess.

A princess with nice sharp teeth.

Steel, leather, wood and lead won't do any good here. This is a job for salt and cold iron.

Jeneora Rock.

This isn't one Plant being red and the other blue.

Someone's here to see Vash, letting him know: the stage is set. The pieces are in place. This is his cue. The twin suns set, the shadows lengthen. Put on your mask.

It's showtime.

Part I

Part III

[mentallyrecovering]

Choose Your Own Adventure

(as always Links are in the end of the post for the last chapter)

I loved writing this! I think it's a good plot turn! Hope you like it too! Feedback is appreciated!

Story beyond this point!

Sam and Bobby made their way to the center of the maze, both of them dwelling on Taylors’ scream. Sam had to fight back tears, wishing that Taylor wasnt’ in too much pain or worse. Taking random turns, left, right, left, right over and over again they finally found the center. Turning around the last right, Sam sprinted towards Rowan and Hazel! “I thought you were dead, that the monster had gotten you!” Sam said, choking on tears. Hazel embraced Sam gently and assured that they were fine.

After the group had settled down a bit Rowan asked where Taylor was, “did you see them? Did you see anything weird while in the maze? Where did you pop up? And Who is this?” Sam realized they never introduced Bobby. “Oh this is Bobby, he came into the maze to help us.” Sam looked down, not making eye contact and whispered, “While we were looking for you we heard Taylor scream and then silence. The monster probably got to them.”

“A monster-um okay…What monster? And why are we here? Why did the outside world disappear?” Bobby explained again the town's ritual, the seal, and how the four were sacrificed. “So, if we are to be eaten and all we need to do is break the seal, why don't we break it now?” Hazel questioned. The four of them looked towards the symbol on the plaque. It looked like black marble with a red symbol on it and was shining. The symbol looked like it had liquid in it moving, almost like a blood vessel.

Bobby looked at the symbol and touched it feeling a zap through his finger, shocked he fell back in surprise. He struggled to sit up and said, “What the hell? I saw something. I saw three more symbols that were in the maze forming a triangle around this one.” The three looked at him with confusion and terror. He went on, “I don't know how i know this but, we need to break the three other seals first before this one. It didn't show me where the seals are located unfortunately. And there’s one more thing. Only four of us can leave after breaking the symbol, the fifth one of us has to,” He paused and swallowed hard, “the fifth one of us needs to die to break the seal.”

Sam, Rowan, and Hazel looked at Bobby with suspicion, he just magically knew? But they had to take his word for it since there was nothing they could do to get out of the maze. Rowan broke the silence, “Well I’m not dying, and neither are Sam, Rowan, and Taylor it looks like it has to be you.” 

Bobby shot up and pushed Rowan, “Look I’m not dying either, one of you are!” He pushed Rowan to the ground and took out a knife, “I’m not dying.” The other two pushed him off and said in unison, “Us four are living. You're not!”

Bobby replied, “Well, I saw Taylor is alive. So good luck finding where the monster is.” He took off into the maze with one last word, “It’s Taylor or me. I'll find Taylor first, I’m going to get out.”

The three turned to each other with Hazel saying, “We need to find Taylor before Bobby does.” The group agreed and Hazel went on, “If Bobby was telling the truth, then we also need to break the symbols. So do we try to find Taylor first or break the seals?”

Their choices were,

Try to find Taylor

Break the seals first.

https://www.tumblr.com/mentallyrecovering/716212039957315584/i-have-to-add-that-there-will-be-reading-in-the?source=share (starting post)

https://www.tumblr.com/mentallyrecovering/716334914436497408/choose-your-own-adventure?source=share( 1st post)

https://www.tumblr.com/mentallyrecovering/716427608586321920/choose-your-own-adventure?source=share (2nd post)

https://www.tumblr.com/mentallyrecovering/716427608586321920/choose-your-own-adventure?source=share (3rd post)

https://www.tumblr.com/mentallyrecovering/716521280771424256/choose-your-own-adventure?source=share (4th post)

https://www.tumblr.com/mentallyrecovering/716612292854382592/choose-your-own-adventure?source=share (5th post)

https://www.tumblr.com/mentallyrecovering/716702987461050368/choose-your-own-adventure?source=share (6th post)

https://www.tumblr.com/mentallyrecovering/716793684698480640/choose-your-own-adventure?source=share (7th post)

https://www.tumblr.com/mentallyrecovering/716884979014139904/choose-your-own-adventure?source=share (8th post)

[tinalbion]

Hey! ^^ i hope you're doing well! ^^ How about these ones from the horror movie ask game, if you want? ^^

5, 9, 17, and 18 .

Hey there! So far so good, actually! Just struggling with seasonal allergies, so that's fun lol. I hope you're well, too! 💙Thanks for sending an ask in, I appreciate it as always!

5. favorite horror film from the year you turned 13

Oof so this is such a difficult one to choose! The first Saw movie came out and it was SO intense, loved it the first time I saw it in theaters. I've loved seeing how ridiculous they've become and I own all of them now 😂 And then Shaun of the Dead came out?! I know it's more horror comedy, but the Cornetto trilogy will always have a special place in my heart.

9. favorite horror film with your favorite horror character in it

Okay so we all know I love Freddy, he's been the main choice of horror character since I was like, 8. This one is a toss up between Dream Warriors and Freddy vs Jason. Dream Warriors is such a favorite for a lot of the ANOES fans, and for very good reason. I loved seeing more of Freddy's super cheesy dad joke vibe come out on this one, he was more silly and hilarious, which is such a refreshing take on a slasher.

Freddy vs Jason is just so good and I can't explain why. There are people who tear into that film so bad and I know it's not the greatest, but the way Robert and Ken feed off of each other on set and the lines?! It's too good to not talk about. It's one of the true last films we got with Robert as Freddy, and I'll cherish it so much.

17. favorite horror film that you watched in theaters

Actually, it wasn't when it first came out because that was before my time, but one year for Halloween, my local theater was showing the double feature of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1 and 2. The energy in the theater was SO amazing, it was the first time people weren't just being obnoxious and speaking through the movie, but actually having fun, and the ENTIRE room was just charged with such fun energy! A lot of theater experiences are never like that for me, so it was a very special time for me~

18. favorite horror film with your favorite horror actor/actress in it

Robert Englund is my absolute top favorite, as most know on this page, but I do love and respect a lot of other horror actors and actresses.

I won't strictly stick to ANOES for this comment because it's an obvious answer, so I'll spice it up a bit. There's a LOT of films he's in that I love to watch, but I'd have to go with Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. Minus the incredible Nathan Baesel, Robert did such a fantastic job in this film where he finally DOESN'T die and he gives more of a Dr. Loomis vibe to his role, which you don't get to see very often from him.

[spanishskulduggery]

Can you explain when to use imperfect vs preterite vs perfect past tense? I struggle knowing when to use which.

So this is going to be just a quick overview of preterite and imperfect, and I'll include more links now for more in depth things that you can look at because I talk about them very often

Preterite tag

Imperfect tag

The Perfect Tenses w/ haber

-

In many cases preterite and imperfect are both valid choices, depending on what you're trying to express: leí "I read" vs. leía "I was reading / I used to read" as an example

Preterite in Spanish is also known as "simple past"; it's used for things that have definitely happened. By "definitely" I mean there's often a time phrase associated with it that says "this happened at this time"

It typically is action or something that did specifically happen, so it can read as very clinical and matter of fact

...

Imperfect on the other hand has more uses. The linguistic term "imperfect" means "not yet completed"

Imperfect is often used with narration and description, describing the weather, the time, personalities

But the big thing that I find helpful is that in general the imperfect tense seems to be narration, while the preterite seems to be an interruption or action.

Whether you choose preterite or imperfect in some cases is more about how much description you're giving, as imperfect gives you a scenario, while preterite shows an action taking place in that scenario.

Dormía y entonces sonó el teléfono. = I was sleeping and then the phone rang. Dormía mientras sonaba el teléfono. = I was sleeping while the phone was ringing. [implying "I" didn't wake up] Dormí y sonó el teléfono. = I slept, and the phone rang. [two preterites imply a list of actions, like recalling a memory

The other very important function of imperfect tense is that it can mean "used to"; this can be done with or without the verb soler "to be in the habit of"

*Quick note on soler; it can't exist in preterite, it's usually in present tense suele ir a la playa "he/she normally goes to the beach" or imperfect solía ir a la playa "he/she would go to the beach". Because the imperfect tense can mean multiple things depending on context, soler adds a special bit of emphasis on "used to" to clear up any confusion:

Iba a la playa. = I was going to the beach. [imperfect continuous/progessive] Iba a la playa. = I used to go the beach. [imperfect, marking habitual] Solía ir a la playa. = I used to go to the beach. [habitual; soler being a clear marker of habitual]

Another common one is vivir. You could say vivía en la ciudad to mean "I lived in the city" OR "I used to live in the city", but if you wanted to be very clear - solía vivir en la ciudad "I used to live in the city"

Additional Notes:

You can only tell time in the past with imperfect - era la una, eran las dos, eran las tres etc

You can do the passive voice with preterite + past participle, and it only works with preterite here

-

The perfect tenses are a bit of a special case. I never know quite how to classify them because they can be in pretty much any tense, and they exist in indicative and subjunctive

Essentially though, "perfect" means "thoroughly done"; the same linguistic root as "imperfect" being "not yet completed"

Perfect tenses use a conjugation of haber + a past participle, and some past participles are irregular... as an example hacer "to done" turns into hecho "done"

Past participles are useful to know because they're also frequently the adjectival forms of verbs... like haber roto "to have broken", but then as an adjective roto/a is "broken"

Perfect puts things a little into the past, but it still has an effect on the present. So it is technically like a past tense, but it can be used alongside other tenses when things still have an impact

English has this same function - it's the difference between "did" and "have done"

Note: Many people use present perfect in place of preterite [simple past]. I wouldn't recommend it if you're just starting out because you shouldn't use it as a crutch, and preterite has many irregular forms you do need to know for later on

¿La viste? = Did you see her/it? ¿La has visto? = Have you seen her/it?

In that example, pretty much nothing has changed. If you use the preterite you typically would expect an answer in preterite, describing the past, la vi ayer "I saw her/it yesterday" or no la vi "I didn't see it/her" for example

If you get asked "have you seen her?" you're asking about something that still has an impact on the present... no la he visto aún "I haven't seen her yet" for example has an implication that you might see her later. Or la he visto "I have seen her" kind of invites a follow-up question; it's almost as if you know someone is going to ask you where you saw her or when, or where she is now

~

Next we have pluperfect [el pluscuamperfecto] which is an imperfect conjugation of haber + past participle

"Pluperfect" or "pluscuamperfect" is more or less "past-er than past", or "more than past"

It's talking about something that happened further in the past but still has an impact on the present situation. You see this a lot with recounting memories so it comes up a lot in first-person stories, diaries, memories, witness statements etc.

No la había visto. = I hadn't seen her. La había visto antes. = I had seen her before. Nunca habíamos viajado en avión. = We had never flown (before). [lit. "we had never traveled by plane"] Se habían hecho ricos. = They'd gotten rich. / They'd become rich. Se habían hecho ricas. = They [f] had gotten rich. / They [f] had become rich.

But if you compare present perfect and pluperfect you really see the "more past than past"

No se conocen. = They don't know each other. [present] No se conocían. = They didn't know each other. [imperfect] No se conocieron. = They didn't meet each other. [preterite] No se conocerán. = They shall not know each other. / They will not meet each other. [future] No se conocerían. = They wouldn't know/meet each other. [conditional] No se han conocido. = They haven't met each other. [present perfect] No se habían conocido. = They hadn't met each other. [pluperfect] No se habrán conocido. = They won't have met each other. [future perfect] No se habrían conocido. = They wouldn't have met each other. [conditional]

*Note: no se habrán conocido is not a super common expression but it is grammatically possible... you're more likely to see that used passively like "they shall not be known" or "you would never have known" as in "they would not have been discovered"... but that's neither here nor there

And like I said, perfect can exist in subjunctive so:

Es curioso que no se hayan conocido antes. = It's strange that they haven't met before. Es curioso que no se hubieran conocido antes. = It's strange that they haven't met before. Era curioso que no se hubieran conocido antes. = It was strange that they hadn't met before. [which sounds more narrative]

[dreadedender]

Inherit Furever AU (Alt. Nepeta and Equius arcs in canon)

When I first read Homestuck with someone who was rereading it, bit by bit, they would send me fansongs of characters as we met them, and when I first ran into Nepeta/Equius, I got Phemie C's 'Furever' and 'Inherit Nothing'. The beautiful lyrics had me trying to guess what their plotlines would be with such a strong emphasis on friendship (Nepeta) and broken relationships (Equius). Although things happened differently than what I expected in the canon, I still like how I thought their fates would end up, so I combined the two and got this:

Equius is more serious with his insistance on following the hemospectrum. He doesn't recognize Karkat as his 'leader' and does his own thing instead, much to the annoyance of the mutant-blood. Equius just can't accept it; if nothing matters anymore with how their society had been built, then Equius's beliefs would shatter. He doubles down with Eridan on wanting to keep the caste, becoming more controlling and isolated, much to Nepeta's dismay as she has continuesly tried to sway him into joining in eith everyone else. Eventually, the moirals are forced to separate. It hurts for the both of them, but they just can't agree on things. Equius has hurt her too many times.

He is going to run into a moral dilemma when he makes a plan with Eridan to join the enemy side instead. Ha had tried (unsuccessfully) to recruit Gamzee as the highest-blooded landweller but only got a blank response at first. So Eridan and Equius started their rampage without him.

Eridan would try to convince Feferi; things went wrong again. Equius was searching for Karkat to kill him, convinced that doing so would set things right and make Nepeta have no choice but to go with them. On his way, he runs into Gamzee, walking around with the head of Tavros. Equius nervously asks if the purple-blood has joined their cause and, in a haze, Gamzee agrees. 'Kill the lowerbloods...' Gamzee whispers with a smirk, as he walks on ahead to seek his next victim. Equius is giddy, feeling things are finally going right.

He catches Karkat, there's a struggle and a chase as Karkat realizes what's happening and runs away. Now with the added pressure od wanting to to follow an order by his 'superior', Equius is taking this much more seriously. He unfortunately, loses Karkat when he steps outside the base. There's a wide river, and Equius can barely make out two figures on the other side. It's Nepeta... and Gamzee. He has her on a chokehold.

'Kill the lowbloods.'

His loyalties are twisted. This is what his incompetence with the bow should have been foreshadowing for, as hes too far away to save her with his strength, his only hope now is to draw on his bow and arrow.

So nervous, his hands shaking, he decides what side he wants to be on. He aims. He fires. The bow shatters in slow motion behind the arrow as blood blossoms into frame behind it. The camera follows the arrow as it goes towards its target getting faster, and faster until it lands squarely on Gamzee's shoulder, making him drop Nepeta, saving his friend but costing him his life as while he was distracted, he was pierced by a sickle.

Nepeta screams.

Equius's body drops to show Karkat, looking confused and trembling, stepping away from the body with his eyes fixated on the arrow on Gamzee's shoulder. Nepeta watched her moiral save her and die for it.

She is numb. Karkat has apologized and explained that he had been hunted by Equius and thought he was going to shoot her, but Nepeta is unresponsive.

As the adventure pauses and the humans join, they have the 'Corpse Party', and Nepeta gets a little too emotional. To herself, she vows revenge, filled with anger. While everyone else is socializing, she skulks in the shadows and hunts the troll Equius saved her from, choosing to put the blame on him (and a bit on Karkat.)

So yeah. Nepeta lives in this au lol

And eventually gets to be the one to kill Gamzee cuz woohoo

(I'll make sketches for this AU later)

[murder-and-toast]

TW: manipulation, self sacrifice, creepy/slightly intimate whumper, taking advantage of someone's mental health, demon whump, mafia whumper, threats of killing others, implied other whumpees, mention of dehumanization

Lucian sat in front of a small lake, wondering if trying to help Toki was actually worth it. Lucian knew he cared for Toki, and wanted to help, but no matter how much he tried, he'd always fail and the timeline would just be reset again and again. At that point Lucian had just wanted to give up and go back to his home world.

Lucian's ears then twitch as he hears someone walking up on the gravel behind him. He does a soft sigh through his nose and slowly stands up and brushes himself off before turning to look at the person. Instantly his eyes shot wide open.

"So, this is where you've been, you're honestly a lot cuter in person than I thought you'd be. Your horns are just so cute," the man said

The man got closer to Lucian, close enough to be able to grab Lucian if he wanted to. Lucian froze, just staring at him through widened eyes,

"Who are you?" Lucian asked

"Łukasz, I'm a good friend of your buddy Gabe," the man said

"How do you know me?" Lucian continued

"We can talk about that later, I have 2 choices for you," Łukasz started, "Either you come with me and work for me from now on, or I get rid of a few people you care for"

Lucian just stared at Łukasz's face, looking for any sign of this being a joke. Lucian then swallowed hard before saying,

"Could you explain what I'll be having to do for you?"

"Ah, of course, you see, I use other demons as puppets so I don't have to actually do any work for the mafia. You'd just be helping behind the scenes, and healing up some of my other puppets," he took a step even closer to Lucian before putting a gloved hand on his cheek, "and I'll be using you against Gabe just for fun"

Lucian paused, but wanting either option, but knowing what he'd have to choose. Lucian just stared at Łukasz shoes for a bit before finally letting himself speak,

"I'll do the first one"

"spectacular choice!" Łukasz said in a very happy tone

-----

Lucian had just been sitting in a corner within a small room for weeks at that point, Łukasz hadn't gone to him for anything quite yet. But today was different, the building had been noisy. Loud yelling and the sounds of stuff crashing onto the ground.

Within the next few minutes, the doorknob had giggled for a moment before a click of the lock opening. The door had then opened and standing there was Łukasz, radiating with anger and soaked in someone else's blood. Łukasz then slammed the door shut causing Lucian to flinch.

Łukasz then went over to Lucian and squatted down, gently rubbing a gloved hand over Lucian's cheek and smiling slightly. Then in a very gentle voice Łukasz said,

"I apologize for whatever you heard out there doll, it's not that important. So how've you been so far doll?"

"umm. . . I've been decent," Lucian said vaguely scared, and uncomfortable with the pet name being used towards himself

"great, well I'm gonna be changing that real quick!" Łukasz was quite excited by the words from Lucian's mouth, proudly smiling as he pulled a knife from his pocket with his free hand. He moved the thumb of the hand on Lucian's cheek to gently caress the other side of Lucian's face. Łukasz then moved the blade towards Lucian's cheek.

Lucian tightly shoved his eyes shut as the blade pressed to his own cheek. His breath getting faster and heavier. The blade then glided against his skin, leaving a strong stinging feeling behind. Lucian had then let out a soft whine as the blade had left his cheek.

The blade was then set on the floor, Lucian let his eyes open as Łukasz brushed Lucian's bangs out of his face. Lucian slowly looked up at Łukasz eyes, leading to a smirk in response. Lucian tried to back away slightly, leading to the hand on his cheek moving to the back of his head and yanking him into Łukasz's chest.

Lucian tried to struggle back but the grip wasn't going to let him. The sound of the knife being picked up again could be heard, followed by cold air hitting Lucian's back as his clothing was cut off of his body. He had then tried to rush to use his wings to shelter himself from the cold. Lucian had then been released, leading to him instantly backing into the wall.

Łukasz had a bag with him that Lucian somehow hadn't noticed until now, he had taken it off and started to dig through it for a moment. Łukasz had pulled out some rope and a bone saw. Lucian then tried to back even further into the wall to no avail.

Łukasz had gently grabbed Lucian's shoulder, "Don't worry, you'll be fine," He said in the same gentle voice. He then pulled Lucian back into his chest and moving his arms behind his back before very tightly tying them in plenty under Lucian's large wings.

"There's nothing to be worried about doll, your horns are just so cute, I just have to have one of my own," Łukasz had said as he picked up the bone saw, "it'll only hurt for a second, alright"

Lucian began to shake in freak as Łukasz got closer and lined it up with the inside of Lucian's horn.

"P. . . Please don't," Lucian said through tears

Łukasz rolled his eyes and continued to run the blade through Lucian's horn. Blood had started dripping down from the horn as it had been cut far too high up. Lucian had fully frozen at this point, and within a few minutes, the horn and snapped off and fallen onto the ground beside himself.

Łukasz reached out and grabbed the horn, looking at it and smirking as he ran his thumb over every little detail of it for a few minutes. He then set it to the side and pulled out a roll of bandages and began wrapping the stub,

"Don't worry too much about it, it'll grow back eventually, it's only bleeding because of where I cut it so you don't have to worry about that either"

Lucian just was staring off, scared as he fully realized what he had agreed to. Pain slowly set in and he reached up to touch the stub, his hand touching Łukasz's as Łukasz continued to bandage the stub.

Once Łukasz moved his hands away and began to pack up his stuff, Lucian very cautious hugged him. Łukasz patted his head,

"Today was rough for you, wasn't it. As mean as this this gonna sound, it's only gonna get worse from here. But you'll be used to it by then, I promise"

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Brown Eyed Girl- Part Two

Pairing: Elliot (Euphoria) x Reader

Summary: The Reader finally bucks up enough courage to tell her mom about her situation but in the meantime, her eldest sister overhears and wants to get involved. Eventually, the Reader and Suze escape Cassie's wrath and make their way over to a local clinic, coming up with a plan on how to tell Elliot of her news.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Mentions of sex, pregnancy, swearing, angst.

A/n: Hello all, I'm sorry this took so long to get out, I've really been struggling mentally within the last few days and this was just pushed onto the back burner. Now that requests are closed, I'll hopefully be able to relax a bit more.

I hate the fight or flight response.

I hate every body system involved, every hormone release, every physiological response that happens in the quick actions that take place when you’re stressed out beyond belief. Like me now. The clammy hands, pounding heart, the way my eyes seem to be unable to focus on anything around me, the lurching of my stomach every time my lips part to get my mothers attention. Every inch of my body feels like it’s on fire, between that and the nausea creeping up my throat, I must look miserable and unbelievably tired.

I had convinced myself an hour ago to get off of the floor of my bathroom, to brush my teeth especially after an hour of leaning over the toilet, and that I needed to go and tell my mom of my predicament.

And then onto my sisters.

I’m not sure how Lexi would respond, maybe excited. Out of all the people in my household, she was the one who’d be the most excited and supportive of me in this situation, knowing that no matter what I choose to do, she’d be there by my side. Cassie on the other hand, she’d get angry. She’d be bitter from her past choices, angry at me for making the choice that she originally wanted to make but then got manipulated and convinced out of her gut decision. Cassie is the type of person to try to live vicariously through my situation and gain all the sympathy and victimize herself in every way possible.

I’m sure I look like an idiot, standing in the doorway of the living room, watching as my mom focuses deeply on her reality show, a small glass of wine in her hands. Not a big enough glass given the circumstances but I’ll work with it. Maybe it’s for the best that she’s a little tipsy, I’m not sure she’d be able to bear this type of information without some anesthesia.

This has to possibly be the biggest bomb I’ve ever dropped on her, exceeding my failed grade in chemistry last year or that one time I saw my dad at the store. This was going to hit her worse than Cassie telling her she was pregnant or Lexi telling my mom that she was dating Fezco, both things that took my mother days to get over. Based on how she reacted to Cassie that day, my mind keeps going over the different ways she can react, anger, silence, ignoring me for days on end, not being a help at all. She helped Cassie but I don’t want the help that Cassie received and that was almost scarier. To tell my mom that I want to keep the baby and I want to involve Elliot, someone my mother truly likes, has me wondering about her true stance on pregnancy, especially at my age. Maybe Cassie’s decision was the simplest for my mom to get over, to move on from, to explain. How does she explain to my family members that, at eighteen, I’m pregnant and that I wanted to be a mom, hoping and praying to be a good one. Stepping into the living room, my mom’s eyes flutter over to me, a happy smile on her lips as she pats the seat beside her.

“Come on! Come watch with me, there’s a lot of juicy drama today.” She chuckles, a tired laugh leaving my lips as I make my way across the room, throwing myself down onto the couch next to her. She wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me to her as I close my eyes, basking in the calmness, a time where my mom is completely ignorant and unaware of the secret that’s growing inside of me as we sit here in calm silence, the television playing quietly in the background. All of her focus was centered on the program, her brows pulled together in concentration as I smile, melancholy and overall feeling sad that this could be the last time where she doesn’t look at me differently.

Counting to three, I finally speak up.

“Mom?” I whisper, barely catching her attention as she glances down at me, looking back at her TV before taking a second look, her eyes flickering over my anxious and tired expression. “I’ve gotta tell you something.” I straighten a bit, leaning back into the couch as I tuck my knees to my chest, reaching up to wipe the tears that have slipped from my eyes without permission. Her brows pull together, concern and anxious worry spreading across her face as she lets out a small, forced laugh.

“Alright, uh, you’re kinda spookin’ me, kid.” She laughs, mirroring me as she folds her legs underneath her. She looks worried, unsure of me as I clear my throat, my hand reaching in my back pocket to pull out the pregnancy test. Taking a deep breath, I hold it out to her, her eyes leaving mine for a split second, flicking down to the test before looking back up at me. “You’re messing with me?” She offers but I shake my head, setting the test down to pull three more out from my pocket, lining them up on the cushion. Her hand reaches up to cover her shocked expression, tears rising to her eyes as I begin my explanation.

“I thought I had the flu.” I whimper, sniffling loudly as she picks up each one of the tests, making sure they’re accurate and indeed real. “I missed my period but didn’t think I could be pregnant because I’m on birth control and I didn’t miss a day or a dose, I promise. I know this is TMI but Elliot always wears a condom since I’m paranoid about this stuff but- mom,” I pause, her eyes locking with mine as a single tear slips down my cheek, “I’m pregnant. I don’t know how.” I shutter, a violent shiver running down my spine as I run my fingers through my hair, tugging a bit as she stutters over her words. “I’m so sorry, mama, I don’t know what happened-” I get cut off by my mom's arms wrapping tightly around my neck, tugging me to her as I break down.

“Do not apologize.” She whispers, cradling the back of my head as the air gets sucked from my lungs, relief filling me at three simple words. “How long have you known?” She asks, quickly pulling away to cup my cheeks, her thumbs brushing away my tears. “Does Elliot know?” She quizzes once more, my head shaking as I take a deep breath in.

“I wanted to tell you and go to the doctors with you before I told him…” I trail off, my shoulders rolling as I try my best to relax, relieved that out of all the ways she could’ve possibly responded, this was way better than I ever could’ve expected. Her eyes are soft as she looks back down at the tests, a soft smile on her lips as she wipes her tears. “I want to keep it, mom. And I know that you went through this with Cassie but I want to keep mine.” I explain, my voice steady as she nods, her hands gripping mine as my eyes flutter shut, the anxious knot in my stomach unraveling a bit at the knowledge that she’s supportive of my decision and choice.

“What’s going on?” A voice startles us from the doorway, our heads turning to see Cassie in the arch, her eyes flicking between our mother and the tests that lay out in front of me. Her jaw drops, her eyes filling with fury as she stomps up to me, collecting the tests in her hands as she gawks at them. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” She screeches, my whole body jumping as my mom rolls her eyes, huffing as she leans back into the seat. “Are you just so desperate for attention that you did this?” She sneers, a tired sigh leaving my lips as a smirk tugs at the corners of my smile.

“Were you desperate for attention when you did it?” I ask, my mom groaning as she puts an arm between us. “I’m keeping it, Cass. So suck it up and move on with your day. This is between Elliot and I.” I reply cooly, folding my arms over my chest as I stare up at her, her eyes wide as tears form quickly, her hateful gaze turning to my mom.

“You’re letting her do this? Fuck up her life?” She laughs bitterly, angry tears trailing down her red, furious cheeks as my mom gasps, sitting up straight in her seat.

“Letting her? No, she’s an adult, you were an adult too and I let you have full choice over what you wanted to do.” My mom argues, my heart swelling with pride, happy that she’s standing up for me so I don’t have to. My eyes flicker over to the doorway once more, Lexi standing there in shock, her eyes almost asking ‘is it true?’ I just nod, knowing that her and I would eventually discuss what’s going on later, listening to Cass argue once more, her voice getting louder as our mom cuts her off. “Just because she’s making a different decision does not make her decision wrong, Cassie!” My mom screams, immediately on her feet as Cassie backs up, her bottom lip wobbling pathetically as she whimpers. Cassie looks at me, her eyes wide and angry as I take deep breaths, trying to remain as calm as possible as my mom steps in front of me, shielding me from Cassie’s anger and potential triggering words.

Cassie could be mean if she wanted to be, picking someone apart psychologically, using their past against them, and making them feel like a complete waste of space if she wanted to.

Right now, I can tell that she wants to do that to me.

But my mom- Suze- would never let her get away with that.

And neither would Lexi.

“Get out Cassie. Stress isn’t good for the baby.” Lexi snaps, taking my mom and I off guard as Cassie turns around, realizing that everyone around her is on my side and not hers, her worst nightmare. She commands every room that she steps into, needing everyone to like her, even if she doesn't like them. She would do anything to get people on her side, manipulate, lie, cheat; anything. So this, this, is more than upsetting to her.

Cassie takes one last look around the room before storming out.

Lexi approaches me silently, her arms wrapping around my shoulders as I let out a sigh of relief, my mom cooing quietly as she rubs my back soothingly. This is the last thing that I needed, anger, yelling, fighting. This was supposed to be a good thing, I wanted- needed- it to be a good thing.

“Alright, let’s make an appointment.”

A few days later, we all made it a day to go out, Lexi, my mom and I. We got coffee, some snacks, and some new comfy t-shirts (that were not necessary) before my appointment, calming my anxiety a bit as we drove over. My phone was still blowing up from texts from a concerned Elliot, believing that I was sick and out of it, not feeling up for company. I felt bad lying to him, I still do, knowing that he deserved to know and that he would soon enough. Lexi and I finally got the time to talk too on the way there and in the waiting room, my whole entire heart being spilled out to her and my mom throughout the whole appointment. It felt good to not only be able to tell them how I’m feeling but also the doctor, who was more than supportive of all of my decisions and concerns.

But even now, with my mom and Lexi waiting in the car, I stare down at my phone and I can’t help but feel all of my nerves return as my thumb hovers over the call button. I need to call him, I need him to know and I need to finally be able to tell him all the things I’ve been thinking about and worrying about between the baby, our future, and his opinions and concerns. I've come up with every possible outcome in my head, ranging from him being disgusted to him wanting to stay with me forever, dropping down onto one knee immediately (as cheesy as that sounds).

Pressing call, I hesitate as I lift the phone to my ear, knowing he would answer within seconds of seeing my name and picture flash across his screen. He’d been begging to just hear my voice or talk to me, missing me beyond belief, those were his words.

“Hiya baby.” His voice soothes my racing heart, my eyes fluttering shut as I feel Lexi and moms eyes on me from the car, knowing that they’re more invested in this than anyone else. “I’ve missed you sweetheart, how are you?” He asks genuinely and softly, my heart breaking in my chest at how happy he sounds to just hear from me.

“Hi sweetheart.” I whisper, taking a deep breath in before sealing my fate. “We need to talk.”

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