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#one day i will try to do the colours
hinamie · 2 months
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色彩 [Shikisai]
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fanart#jjk fanart#megumi#yuuji#finally...some not angst.....#im worried out of my mind fr these two right abt now but we cope we cope :)#i woke up early n rushed to render this bc im leaving 2 catsit today n wont b able to spend every waking hour drawing like i have been#almost uploaded it without rendering megumi's ear and frgetting the sukuna scars so im sure ill find something i missed once i hit post smh#this pose fought me also >:( sighs why when i try to do not angst they do not want to cooperate . do they prefer being hurt#anyway !!!#i dont think any1 Listens when ppl put song links in the caption but if anyone is curious ! colours/shikisai galileo galilei#SO themcore im unwell i say that a lot but i mean it every time#speaking of colours i Love how these turned out but they ended up being a lot more cohesive than i intended GKHSDFK#wanted to have yuuji in warm and megumi in cold but that appears to have blended everywhere but their uniforms Oops#sighs these 2 and their sun/moon imagery r my cause of death. i die thinking abt it#resisted the urge 2 have a lmhs caption but let it b known. i amn Thinking it.#anyway i say ill b away from my drawing tablet but i fully plan 2 uber home one of the days so i can draw#i cant b slacking now the itfs reunion is nigh and i feel nauseous abt it i need to channel the nervous energy#have sketches.......just in case....but we dont Talk abt just in case >:(#itfs nation hold strong <3
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chaoticallyfluffy · 4 months
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Ok consider:
A new hero emerges and the Justice League watches him for a while who make sure he’s not a threat. They see this giant clumsy man who moves like he’s not used to his body, smiles goofily every time he saves someone, and is clearly inexperienced with his powers and they’re all just like. Ah. This is a child.
Except they don’t think he’s a ten year old or however old Billy is at the time, no no. Clearly this hero came into existence shortly before his first appearance, just a few months ago. They don’t know how or why but It’s not the weirdest thing they’ve seen so it’s pretty easy to believe.
But they can’t just leave this toddler with the powers of a god to stumble around and potentially hurt someone by accident, nor go down the wrong path and become a villain. So of course they decide to ‘subtly’ guide him without alerting him to the fact they’re onto him.
They introduce themselves but instead of inviting him to the league they pop by every once in a while to ‘subtly’ teach him about responsibility and power, but also about love and humanity. They try to teach him to enjoy life and that he doesn’t have to act like an adult around them, instead encouraging him to enjoy his childhood even if it’s not an ordinary one.
(Too bad the Justice League suck at subtlety.)
Billy is certain they somehow found out he’s a kid before they even met him, probably because of Batman’s freaky know-it-all powers, but he isn’t very worried as they seem nice and don’t treat him like he’s dumb or fragile. They respect him as a hero despite his age so he lets himself act like a kid around them after a while.
When he gets comfortable enough to detransform Billy thinks that’s his identity reveal. The league thinks that he magicked himself a body that’s more of a representation of his true self and fits his developmental age better, possibly as a way to blend in with humans and experience what it’s like to be a normal child. Good for him!
Basically Billy gets a bunch of super powered parents and the Justice League get a newborn man that they think they’re raising from scratch lol
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16th-of-a-twigg · 3 months
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🏐 His Hot Girl Summer Era 💅 Ko-Fi
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noliaert · 1 day
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some fanart of THE vampire that owns the night🫰
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Greetings I play cookie run
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sciderman · 5 months
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(Idk if someone asked this already) since we’re on the topic of gender
sci what is gender to you and how do you see it in you and how you express it in your art?? (Just a young queer artist who wants some light shined upon them 🥺)
i 'unno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#gender is soup#sci speaks#i'm so sorry i know you might hope for something profound but... i think when i'm put on the spot like this i can't say anything really#i think whatever i am is definitely pervasive in everything i write#but like.. gender means something different to wade than it does for peter.#just like it'll be different for everybody. we make different associations based on our experiences and our trauma.#like.. wade associates femininity with love. because of his mother. associates masculinity with violence. because of his father.#peter associates masculinity with responsibility. because of uncle ben. associates femininity with confidence. because of aunt may.#i think there's all kinds of reasons why we choose to present the way we do. and what gender means to us.#just like we'll associate a colour with something. or a smell with a memory. it's complicated.#i don't think i'm some kind of expert on gender things but... i just find it interesting to explore. the psychology of it.#i don't think it's supernatural. it doesn't come from nowhere. but it should be a playground.#i don't think anyone in this world should be restricted to a certain role to play. i want to try all the roles and see how it fits.#see how well i can play them.#maybe because i haven't found one that quite fits. so i want the opportunity to try whatever i can. see what feels right.#i think it would be fun to be a wife. i think it would be fun to be a husband. i think it would be fun to be a firefighter. i think it wo#shrugs. different outfits for every day. different roles to play.#today i'd like to try...#i think it's like kids learning how to be adults by playing pretend. by playing roles.#i'm learning more about myself and other people and fitting into the world by trying on different roles.#kids playing house. you be the mom. i'll be the dad. yadda yadda.#i still feel like a bit of a kid who hasn't figured out how to be an adult yet. so i'm still trying out roles to see what fits.
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emily-mooon · 3 months
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Jancy Weekend Day 4: AU
I’ve had the ocean on the brain due to it being summer, one of the teams for artfight this year is seafoam (which I love btw and hoping is the team that wins), and cause of my blogs theming, so I thought it fitting to draw them in a mermaid au! (that also takes place in the 19th century because I said so)
I’ve also just been itching to draw the ocean again. It was fun the last few times I did it and I haven’t had any ideas on what to draw in relation to it (until now)
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good-wine-and-cheese · 10 months
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"This is what love feels like."
Crossover comic between Gesicht from Pluto and Star Trek TNG, specifically the episode "The Offspring" - in which after the death of Lal, Gesicht helps Data experience love (and by consequence, grief) by sharing his own memories of his child. These are characters that have a lot in common and I would love it if they could share their stories and have a good hug and grieve together.
I wanted to try to render the emotional progression of the scene without using any dialogue, though I can't say whether it worked how I want it to or not. It was a fun exercise though! Trying to render Data with and without emotion is interesting. I may touch it up and colour it eventually but for now it's just this ^_^
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Prism's concept art has been. Deeply on my mind. They had some killer ideas for her and ummm.....sobs in my hands. I love her?
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skeletalheartattack · 3 months
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...am I just losing my mind or did yer icon become evil? I don't remember that BeAst behind Boe
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yuuuump always been behind me
#ask#anon#pazuzu's just been there since the beginning#mainly because my avatar use to be of 2D in front of the d-sides album cover. or atleast one of the covers#and i had a lot of transparent edits of 2D over that cover#but when i had Boe made. i put him over it instead and i just kinda kept it like that cause i thought the colours together were really nice#as for the blurry swirls. i just like doing simple effects in paintdotnet#i don't really imagine them as much besides the blurriness of the minds eye. like this is how you'd see the inside of my brain maybe.#or not really my brain. boes minds eye maybe.#i don't know if i have a ''lore explanation'' for pazuzu in Boe's life in limbo/hell#or specifically in relation to Boe i mean#i'd still like to actually visualize what limbo looks like. or specifically the area in limbo in which Boe lives#which is just an old manor in the middle of nowhere. with old computer crts and keyboards in the mud of his back yard#dark purplish skies with maybe blueish roaming fields with no horizon#i do have a map file of me trying to create what i imagine to be Boes house but i've only blocked out his porch#i've got a loose idea of what the layout of his house's interior is like but nothing solid honestly#the reason he lives in an old manor is due to mystery case files: ravenhearst. inspiration-wise#use to play that growing up from bigfishgames. fucking love the look of that manor and the intense mess that resides within#i think i also think about the Gorillaz' o green world phase where they had kong studio's absolutely trashed with junk and shit#did actually buy MCF Ravenhearst the other day actually. specifically for higher res ref images of rooms#played a little of it the other day but i was so tired for most of that day so i didnt play for long#anyway. thank you for the ask anon :) yeah he's always been there. pazuzu kinda just blends into the background i think
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nightskyfoxyy · 26 days
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Turns out snapping turtles are super hard to draw. Oh well
(Extremely lose "lore" thoughts in tags i guess lol)
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sysig · 1 year
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Somebody ordered Sushi Beefcake (Patreon)
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vargaslovinghours · 1 year
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Fandom: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac (But really Vargas lol) Rating: Teen and up Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
What, exactly, did Scriabin take from Edgar when they separated?
My first multichapter fic for Vargas! :D Yay!
(Pls read Ch. 1 first - Ch. 2 is also recommended, but as long as you're caught up on the first, you're good to go!)
-----
Side B
What the fuck.
"It's, it's possible that if, maybe whatever happened earlier, whatever caused all that blood and for us to be knocked unconscious-"
What the fuck.
"-and if I suffered a head injury, then maybe-"
No. That's enough.
Scriabin pushed away from the closet door he'd defensively pressed himself up against and put his hands on Edgar's shoulders, which quieted him. He looked at him expectantly, with eyes that Scriabin somehow only just now realized were casually guarded, curious, uncertain in a way that denoted inexperience. That was so messed up, that was completely wrong. Edgar should've been on guard, absolutely, but only because he knew exactly what Scriabin was capable of. He really didn't want to look at him right now if this was what he was going to be seeing instead.
He spun him quickly and pushed him out the door before he could protest. He got one last look at those wide, confused eyes before he slammed the door behind him, bracing it shut with both hands for good measure.
What. The fuck. His head came forward, making a dull thud as his forehead connected with the door. He doesn't remember me? His fingers curled on the door. What does he mean he doesn't remember me?! How could he not know me?! One hand pushed through his hair; his scalp tingled and that was so weird, he felt it and it was so weird- We literally just- He literally just-! As if pulling him screaming into life wasn't bad enough, now he had decided to play some sick prank!
This can't be true. It's just like him to try and make jokes at the worst possible time, he has no tact.
There was a timid knock on the other side of the door. Scriabin jumped as it resonated through his skull, his elbow, pressed to the door with his hand buried in his hair, set his jaw. Then silence.
If he was really trying to get back in, clear things up, say he was only kidding, he'd actually try.
Nothing.
Scriabin's blood was ice as he went over it again. The way he'd said his name. The vacant look in his eyes as he said it, like his mouth knew its shape but none of the meaning. No fear, no realization, nothing that really felt like Edgar, just sound, just noise.
Maybe he really had-
Oh god. His knees gave out, and his arms had no practice at holding him upright, not yet. His hand slid down the door, his other hand guarding his head as his hair fluffed against the grain.
How could he do this
This is all his fault
Stupid, idiotic
He can't do this to me
I can't believe him
I can't believe this
How dare he leave me alone like this
Thoughts spiralling, and all he could do was hold himself down, press his fingers into the back of his neck, force his chest to his knees and maybe he wouldn't immolate under it all. He was shaking, from tension or fear he couldn't tell, his mind too hazardous and loud to cut through it all. He was shaking, dizzy, and if he moved, letting go would surely kill him.
He can't do this to me.
He breathed. And breathed. And swallowed. Eyes closed, heart pounding, sure. Confusion and dismay, whatever. Pain. Fine. So be it.
This isn't like me. A hand untethered from his vice grip in his hair, and he stayed attached to the floor. It connected with the carpet below him and became a new lifeline. He pushed up and away into a limp sit, arms already burning slightly from holding himself up after all that. He shook his head mildly. This isn't who I'm going to be in life. His body, this fear response be damned, he was in control now.
Regroup. Let's- a mental pause, barely a quarter of a second long as he turned the word in his head. Let's pretend it's all true- what does that mean?
He flopped over, leaned upright with his back against the door, heels of his fists pushed down into the carpet to scootch closer. Moving was so awkward still, very unfitting.
He was acting normal. Well, Edgar's baseline for "normal" had changed considerably, so maybe put an asterisk on that. Not that he was ever normal to begin with, but normal-for-Edgar, -ish. That means he has to have some memory.
Scriabin held out a hand, arm slung over his knee, one finger held out. He had recognized his glasses. One. The apartment. Two. Which key to use. Three. He had said Todd's name. Four.
His stuff can be discounted, he's had all that for a while. Back down to one. The kid is a new fixture. Which means he remembers the last couple months at least. He shook his head and brought his hand up to comb through his hair. Well...it's fuzzy for me, so it probably is for him, too. Scriabin remembered everything in as much clarity as the last couple months allowed, there was no way Edgar would know more even if he had all his memories.
Speaking of which, Scriabin could remember everything. He flipped through; the last two months and bringing Todd in, Edgar's parting words to Johnny, his and Devi's conversation - he grit his teeth - and further back, everything along the way, all the way back. False dreams, shared childhoods, everything that was once Edgar's alone, he still remembered it. Nothing was out of place which made it all the more strange!
This is so fucking weird, if I remember everything, then why would he-
He stopped short. His purported purpose had been to replace Edgar. Take him over completely. If he bought into the conceit for a moment, just to play in the space... He was alive now. That was not as intended; it shouldn't even have been possible.
Did he...give me his memories? Like, all the way? Not just to borrow, to shape him, give him legitimacy - he was alive now. His own person. Separate, embodied, and whole. Was this the price of life?
That's stupid. But possible, he couldn't discount. If this - he brought his hands up and looked down at them, watched himself touch his own chest and felt it beneath his coat, shirt, the nerves firing as his slid his fingers up himself - if this was possible, then...
He continued for a moment, curious and reverant, all of him new and privately exciting, to exist and to touch, to feel, smell, see, all of it clear and fresh and penetrated deeply into his mind, as if a layer of film had been lifted from his senses. The moment passed as the memories, unbidden but important, cluttered in around him again.
There were still a lot of questions, and most of them couldn't be answered without Edgar, ugh. If getting anything out of him before had been like pulling teeth, he was very sobered to think about how it might be now. Depending on how much Edgar remembered, maybe he could start piecing things together.
Did he do it on purpose? Did he know this would happen? There's no way he would have been willing to if he had- But he couldn't ask him things like that. Even if he did remember, admitting something like that...
He was just spinning his wheels at this point. Better to gather what he could from the man himself. He looked up, preparing to stand.
Ah-
The room was still in something of a state.
Edgar would be annoying, or at least distracted by trying to pick up the clothes and uncarefully unpacked items strewn about the floor from Scriabin's very successful excavation of his old glasses. The clutter would have to go if he wanted his full attention.
He grumbled as he pushed off the door to pick up the first few things. First day of life and I'm already his maid. Figures. He's always needed me to clean up after him.
Silence.
Somehow it only just hit him. Thinking alone in the late hours, planning things behind Edgar's back, it was nothing new. But a barb unsunk into his mental flesh was left out in the wide emptiness, poised to stab whoever happened upon it next, and he was the only one here.
He felt very small all of a sudden, and he didn't like it at all.
His eyes blankly scanned the room, looking for nothing, until they settled on the toy at Edgar's bedside. His toy.
He dropped the items he'd bundled into his arms and made his way over. He picked up the small simulacrum, turned it over in his hands once, and stared at it.
He wouldn't know this. Not really. He brushed a thumb up and over the little mouth, the contours of its small face. Retroactively, I've never been this at all.
I'm no one to him.
Does this mean we can start over? The thought struck him like lightning, freezing his heart in his chest. He was fixed solid, staring down at the small figure in his hands.
Before he could even think, he'd already thrown it through the open closet door, landing noisily in the box he'd dug through with a clatter. He grabbed up the fallen clothes and items and stuffed them back in the box, burying the toy in mundane detritus, then closed the cardboard flaps and slammed the door of the closet for good measure.
His breath was laboured and he glared, like wishing it gone would make the closet itself disappear.
Answers. He needed answers, more than anything.
He ripped the door open, and there was Edgar who looked up, staring dumbly back at him and carrying the clothes he'd shed earlier over his arm. Something in his mind clicked over, and he didn't think about it.
"Alright," he caught his breath for half a second, "what do you remember?"
Edgar just kept on staring, mouth open, eyes unconfident behind weak glasses. Scriabin huffed irritably, I don't have time for this, and moved towards him, arm outstretched.
"Come on." Edgar gave a small startled sound behind him as he grabbed his collar and dragged him through the doorway. He threw him across the room, not bothering to watch his arc as he closed the door behind him. The bed was that way, he'd be fine.
When he turned back, Edgar had managed to catch himself, though already halfway on the bed. Scriabin stood with his back to the door, feet planted and he crossed his arms. No more speculating around impossibilities, tangible and present as they might be, it was time for a proper interrogation. It was at least preferable to-
Edgar made a face at him and scooted back, offering a seat next to him on the bed. Equal footing briefly flashed through his mind and while he wouldn't consider it ideal, nothing today was really going his way. He sighed, then made his way over and sat across from Edgar, who was eyeing him with a certain degree of caution. At least the feeling was mutual.
"Spill." He re-crossed his arms and leaned towards Edgar. "What do you know?"
Edgar hesitated, apparently thinking, his hands laced and fingers agitatedly if quietly rubbing the backs of his hands.
"I want to verify some things first."
Scriabin snorted dismissively. Where had Edgar's overly-trusting nature gone? A serial killer, well he's an honoured guest, but Scriabin? He didn't even distrust him for the right reasons.
He gestured with an open hand, Go ahead, then tucked his arm back in.
"Todd's last name?"
Pfsh. At least it was proof enough that anything Edgar knew, Scriabin did as well. As expected.
"Casil. His stupid bear's called Shmee in case you forgot that too." Edgar shook his head. No he hadn't? If only he could just check!
"Do you know our phone number?" Obviously he did, so he rattled it off quickly, Edgar nodding in turn. He flipped his hair in time with the last digit, careful to keep his eyes covered. It was a bit of a timid attempt, being the first in this body, which was a minor blessing he supposed.
Edgar mulled over what he'd given him for a moment, then a moment longer, then a moment even longer. His eyes searched absently, gazing down into his own hand, his other on his chin, lightly thumbing his goatee. He was focused on names and numbers, but those were child's play compared to everything, everything Scriabin still wanted to know. It was frustrating on a visceral level, watching him struggle with such simple innocuous nothings while the most important person in his life was sitting right in front of him.
He was supposed to be the most important.
It was frustrating.
"You really don't remember anything, do you?" He didn't hide the sneer as it shaped his voice - odd the way his body just did that now, did things without him actively thinking them into being. Even things like the little waver that made its way in that he pushed back down and under. He was frustrated, angry, tired - any emotionality could be attributed to those, nothing else.
Edgar didn't answer, just kept his gaze locked to his face. That was almost worse. Watching him fumble through things, it wasn't fun, but at least he wasn't trying to pry. He could see him try to look past his bangs, and the fact that he didn't know better...
Scriabin looked away for a moment, then thought better of it. Best defense is a good offense.
He reached for Edgar's face, for those damn scars, ever-present reminders. Edgar shied away, not wanting to be touched suddenly by someone he didn't know. As if Scriabin had ever cared about that.
Well, things were different now. Maybe he didn't really want to touch him anyway. Not yet.
"Do you remember these...?" Instead he framed his face with his hands less than an inch from his skin, and even there he could feel the heat coming off him. Edgar reached for his face, looking away from Scriabin as he touched the angry red marks. He winced minutely, then glanced back at Scriabin, searching him, his expression guarded again. Scriabin could hear his own pulse in his ears.
"...Johnny?"
"Fuck." Fuck! "Of course you'd remember him but not me." God damn it! It wasn't right, it wasn't fair, just because Johnny came first by a hair's breadth, just because he wasn't in Edgar's head, with Edgar's fucked up little obsession with the murderous stick figure- It limited what he could get away with too, if he remembered that far back. Absolutely nothing was going in his favour.
"I'm sorry..." He sounded genuinely remorseful, and it stuck in his throat. Disgusting. "So you know Johnny, too."
"Unfortunately." Scriabin tucked his chin to his chest, arms crossed again in close proximity. This sucks. Edgar just kept rambling, unaware as ever. His excuses held this time at least, one point in his favour, no points for bringing his annoying habits with him despite everything.
"I don't think I've seen him for a couple months now? Everything's awfully..." He gave a vague gesture and Scriabin uncurled slightly. He was giving him room to contribute. He shook his head.
"You haven't."
"Have you?"
He returned to his tight coil of sulking. Not like he was keen to meet up and chat, but he couldn't explain why he hadn't had the opportunity to either.
"I remember he called, too."
"Ugh," barely above breath. Enough about Johnny! Again, Edgar continued obliviously.
"Although I don't really recall what we talked about, not for a while..."
Of course not. I took over for half of those.
He perked a bit, and Edgar focused more on him, patiently setting his hands in his lap.
"You know."
He could play this to his advantage. Give Johnny some well-deserved karmic justice for fucking him over so many times. It was almost better that Edgar didn't know - Scriabin had been trying to get him away from Johnny all this time, and if he really had forgotten everything, not just the moments when Scriabin took over but every moment they had shared, then that meant it coincided almost perfectly with his first meeting with Johnny. Blank spot after blank spot after blank spot, all lined up immediately after getting his face slashed.
He could work with that.
"It's probably trauma." Edgar startled and his hand shot to his temple, lightly touching his hair.
"Like, head trauma?" Scriabing almost laughed. Yeah, probably that too. But that wouldn't help his case.
"No." He leaned in, taking a more intimate, secretive tone. "Think about it. When did things start getting fuzzy?" If he was right on this - which of course he was, but not being able to verify, not being able to see that he was right, it was disconcerting - but if he was, Edgar's memories of Scriabin should start with that first fateful encounter, give or take. A bit of reframing here, a touch of implication there... It probably wasn't even an outright lie; if Edgar's memory were perfect after experiencing everything Johnny had put them through, that would be some kind of twisted miracle.
His only real concern was their "childhood" - how much had Scriabin pulled with him? Would that throw off his story? But that was so far back, there was no way Scriabin or Johnny could be implicated in that. As long as Edgar didn't bring it up before he thought his way around it...
Edgar stayed quiet for a long while. His eyes raced behind closed eyelids, searching, scanning, retracing - Scriabin could almost see the moments where he hesitated, stopped and went back, then starting recollecting again. He wished he could see it for real, watch him unfold himself, touch those memories again, hold up his own in contrast. Even just hear Edgar's thoughts as they went by, feel the emotions he felt. But he couldn't, so he just stared as unblinkingly as this new body would allow, just watched as Edgar went over everything on his own.
He finally opened his eyes, staring back into Scriabin's though he was sure they were still hidden. He felt naked and awkward and Edgar still hadn't said anything. If he could just see like he was supposed to, or if Edgar would just tell him, he wouldn't have to ask. I have to do everything around here.
"It was after you met him, wasn't it?"
"You think it's...mental trauma?" An unspoken 'yes.' Relief flooded him, and he pushed ahead.
"Edgar. He stabbed you." Edgar gripped his shoulder, his eyes closing again and he looked to be in pain. That was a very effective reminder at least. "Do you even know why?" He shook his head and spoke throught half-grit teeth.
"I must have made him mad, but I don't remember-" Of course not, I did that.
"Your mind is trying to protect you." Not. But one of us has to with your inexhaustable deathwish. Scriabin reached out to touch him properly, but Edgar pulled away. He didn't follow, still not yet. Play up the pity. "He messed you up so bad," with a curl in his tone, an I told you so that barely made it to words even privately; how long had he been holding that in? "Surely you must've felt like you wanted, you needed to get away from him, that he wasn't good for you, that you-" He'd told him so many times, some it must have stuck, some of it had to have-
"Then-!" Edgar's eyes shot open, wide and desperate with an edge of disbelief. A strangled gasp escaped him, half-choking him as he tried to speak. "Then why can't I remember you?!"
He almost began rolling off the cuff, but really, he still didn't know for sure. And it definitely wasn't like he could tell the truth even if he wanted to; who, who hadn't lived it, would believe him? Edgar certainly wouldn't, not with his lack of imagination. He had to dress this up, weave a narrative that was plausible, had the perfect mix of truth and falsehood to stand up to scrutiny.
Huh. Ironic.
"I..." No. Some of this was Edgar's fault too. "We...argued."
"Argued?"
"I... Mng." He wanted to aim for some kind of levity, but his throat had tightened on him. He just wanted to tell this stupid inside joke and not have it affect him, not have it mean anything, and here he was getting emotional? He'd say it and fucking mean it. "It's not like I'm in your head, so-" spat out in a rush, there, he'd said it. Haha, isn't that so funny. He swallowed harshly, pushing down everything he felt into his stomach acid. He was in control. He was fine. This didn't shake him. "I can't know for sure," another humourless laugh inside, "but I was against your relationship with Johnny. Maybe you shut me out so you could keep seeing him with no pushback."
It certainly wasn't outside the realm of possibilities of what Edgar would do to avoid taking Scriabin's extremely basic advice about fraternizing with serial killers. How many times had he been ignored up to this point, only to culminate in the ultimate 'I don't know what you're talking about.' Pfeh. I bet he wishes he'd thought of this sooner. It did nothing for his painfully stuttered pulse.
"You know, I've been trying to convince you to stop going back to him for a while, but, well..." He waved his hand at Edgar's hand still death gripped into his shoulder, and Edgar averted his eyes guiltily. At least he showed some remorse. Better than his nigh constant apologia.
He stayed quiet a moment longer, and just before Scriabin made to fill the silence again, Edgar struck him with an intense look.
"What are you to me?" Ugh. Of course. There was not a single good answer for that. Even if he told him everything- no, especially if he told him everything, there was no way Edgar would believe him. But coming up with a convincing lie on the spot, when they were so clearly something to each other - even he needed time to come up with something workable. How could he have ever prepared for a situation like this? It was never meant to happen, so many things were never meant to happen!
He continued at Scriabin's silence. "You know Nny," Ugh! Even his awful nickname. "And Todd. And...me." He couldn't refute it, so he nodded tightly. "Do you live here?"
Technically he had, and technically he hadn't. Still, going forward, it would be easier to let Edgar assume that he did. It wasn't like he had anywhere else to go at the moment anyway.
"Yes."
"Are we..." He searched him, looked him over as much as he could and he wasn't subtle about it. If only Scriabin had his proper glasses, he'd let him look as much he wanted, behold his spectacle! As it was, he just felt self-conscious and it was very unbefitting. "...family?"
The baggage on that. He did not feel like opening that particular can of worms in either of their current states. He turned his head and flipped through any number of halfway decent ways to phrase it until he hit on something Edgar would remember. Better not to contradict for now.
"You told Johnny you have no family when you met."
"That's true..." Edgar blinked, processing. "Wait, did I tell you that?" Scriabin startled. Even after he'd accounted for his memory! Of course he had to pick his story apart now, he never knew when to leave well enough alone.
"When you-" No, he had to be involved. "When we bandaged your face."
Edgar mulled on that for a few seconds, taking on a thoughtful pose. "I only remember being alone."
"You don't remember me at all. What do you want from me?" He huffed.
"No, sorry, you're right."
"Thank you." He was right!
Where had Edgar expected him to be? There was something weird about how he'd said it. He filed the thought away for later.
"So, if you've been living here, where..." Edgar looked around the room, then back to Scriabin. "Where have you been sleeping? Todd's already on the couch..."
Scriabin couldn't help as a smile sprung to his face. If he was going to present him with such a perfect opportunity, well, he'd better take it. He even had the decency to look nervous in response! This was too good.
"Would you believe me if I said right here, in bed?" He again tucked his chin, playfully this time, his hair falling further in his eyes. Even through the dark tangles he could make out Edgar's face immediately bristling with heat.
Ooh. That's such a fetching shade on you, my dear.
"But-! I, I haven't been sleeping on the floor!" He was visibly sweating!
"Correct." His smile grew. This was too easy, and he needed an easy win right about now.
"W-" He leaned forward on his legs, though refused to get any closer. When he spoke it was a harsh whisper. "Why...?"
Scriabin shrugged easily, not bothering to reign in his smile in the least. "I mean, where else, right?" He leaned in since Edgar refused to, and oh. He was blushing all the way up to his scalp. Hilarious. "You certainly didn't seem to mind." He couldn't hold back the slightly musical tone or his eyebrows inclination to move on their own. His body knew what he was getting at, and he could see it only increased Edgar's fluster. All the better.
"Well I do now!" Edgar darted up and away, stumbling in his hasty retreat. "If you'll excuse me!" though he was already practically in the hallway by the time he said it. What a display, and Scriabin's laugh was loud and natural.
Finally, something positive. He'd managed to fumble his way through, not his best work in lying or manipulation, but he'd set some important groundwork. He'd gotten some answers, and he could start to shape some more believable stories around them.
The biggest hurdles were Johnny and Devi. As long as Edgar didn't meet with them too soon - or well, at all would be preferable, but he doubted he could just keep him locked up, as much as the idea appealed to him. There were so many things that were possible now, things that he had the ability to do, given the right circumstances... All of that in due time. For now he had a yarn to spin.
He listened as Edgar fumbled in the hall, the sheer sound of cloth being pulled and folded over an arm barely perceptable. Was he really going to try to sleep on what little was left over? Maybe he'd give up once he realized the pickings were thin and beg Scriabin to let him sleep with him. Hah.
While he was out, Scriabin made his way over to the pajamas drawer. They were all old and soft, even just to his hand. They'd do for now, until he could get his own. It wasn't like he hadn't worn all this before anyway.
By the time he'd finished dressing, his clothes discarded on the opposite side of the bed to where Edgar had set up his little nest, Edgar had finally gotten himself a set of pajamas. He wondered for a moment if he'd dress with Scriabin in the room again, though maybe his intense stare drove him off. Who could say. He patted the bed with a wide grin when he returned and was dutifully ignored. He settled down to the side, and Scriabin laid on his arms to look down at him.
"Ugh, lame."
"I don't-"
"Yeah, whatever." He'd heard it all before. At least he could literally look down on him like this. He folded his hands and leaned just a bit further, looking him over. A desire he hadn't realized he had surfaced in the dark and quiet. "Give me your hand."
"Sorry?" Scriabin held out his hand expectantly.
"I used to hear your heart beat every day." Edgar looked at him incredulously, but Scriabin was unperturbed. "Let me hear it again."
He hesitated but eventually slowly offered his arm. "...Okay."
He pulled his arm up and placed his thumb against his wrist. He felt a strange mismatch - where he'd been expecting one heartbeat, there were two. He covered his surprise, near shock at the realization that of course he had his own body now, by pulling harder on Edgar's arm, directing him up to his ear.
"Wh-"
"Shh." Quietly. He had wanted this, wanted this body, this separation, this freedom for so long, and now... He spoke quietly, his voice betraying nothing. "I'm listening."
Edgar's pulse was erratic, but he hardly paid attention to it. His own fingers on Edgar's skin, warm and pliant, and Edgar's fingers twitching in his hair, he could feel it, he was trying not to touch him- This hesitation was killing him, every jerky movement away not from fear of what Scriabin could do to him, just uncertainty, like he was still a stranger- He pressed him harder to his head, and he could feel goosebumps under his fingers. He wanted to just hold him there until all the memories they'd shared poured back through him, into his blood, into his breath.
Where are you?
But he replied in that same uncertain, guarded tone that indicated he didn't know, not really.
"C...can I have my arm back now?"
He pushed him away. "Fine." Edgar curled his hand protectively against his chest, and he noticed he rubbed it slightly, he probably hadn't even realized.
He mumbled out a harried "Good night," and it was almost enough to make Scriabin smile. Almost. He could still affect him but this wasn't enough, it wasn't right.
He laid his head on the pillow, not bothering to pull his arm up over the side of the bed. If he twitched in the night and touched Edgar, well, that could mean anything. Maybe he was dreaming. Maybe he did it on purpose. Plausible deniability was one of his greatest assets.
As it was, he was just tired. Maybe he didn't pull it back because he hated the thought of sleeping alone, pushed out and forgotten, and hated it more that he was even thinking something like that. How pathetic. He didn't need anyone, especially not Edgar.
But he was tired. Not in his right mind.
Does this mean we can start over...?
The thought echoed and died, and he slept.
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transrikuu · 2 years
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sora doing the thing™
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buttercup-barf · 4 months
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Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.
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Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.
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That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.
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The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.
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Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.
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Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.
#team fortress 2#tf2#that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it#while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble-#-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍#backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft-#-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team.#cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the-#-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends!#backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever-#-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture-#-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under.#cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he-#-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got-#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.#backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people-#-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being-#-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao#cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn-#-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent-#-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret.#i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady-#-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way#it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about-#-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly#OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)
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cuteniaarts · 23 days
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@katkastrofa, circa 40-ish hours ago: Hey, what if our newest bunch of OCs adopted a baby from one of the other brothel girls who knew she couldn’t afford to raise one? That would make for some fun shenanigans :D
Me, with a notoriously non existent sleep schedule, instinct of self preservation or concern for my poor wrist: Alright, bet. Watch how fast I can make you fall in love with this hypothetical baby >:)
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Daneli as a gentle and loving caretaker-turned-adoptive-mother is something that can be So Personal, actually, and originally I was going to leave it at this quick sketch, but then I got carried away thinking about what this child will grow up to be like raised by this little gang of misfits, so…
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Here she is!! A little older and so, so beautiful, I need more of her in my life immediately, she’s way too precious
And, because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t also add a sapphic element to this absolute cinnamon roll, a small crack ship that I’m only half serious about for when she’s a little older still:
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All in all, we may be getting impossibly far from canon, but I for one already cannot get enough of sweet darling Kumisai <3
(I fully drew three pieces from scratch in 9 hours I cannot feel my brain or my hands anymore send help)
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original characters#jinora#wow. nia drew a canon character? what is this?? who was I replaced by???#but joking aside. a small explanation for this crack ship#originally it was me editing my timeline and realising that Kumisai would be around 14/15 during book 4. the same age as Jinora#so my mind immediately went 👀👀👀 and I decided to go for it#since in sotrl I sorta implied Jinora had a gay awakening by watching Suiren. so.. why not go all out and make her another baby queer?#no offence to Kai. what they had was rather cute tbh. but it felt kinda out of nowhere and just added for the sake of parental drama#plus she was a young girl meeting someone her age for the first time. of course she got a crush#doesn’t mean she has to stick with it you know?#anyway. as for how they would meet. Midori could introduce them :D#Kumisai is Daneli’s daughter. who’s a friend of Summiya’s. who’s Zaheer’s sister. who’s Midori’s uncle. who’s friends with Jinora#and spirits know Jinora deserves to act her age a little more often. she has way too many responsibilities on her shoulders#so maybe Midori would think that a friend her age would do her some good#and don’t even try to tell me these two wouldn’t be absolutely adorable puppy crushing on each other. look how cute Jinora turned out here#might be the first time I’ve drawn her? not sure. maybe I did before but it was A LONG time ago. 2019 ish#but okay. enough rambling about Jinora. back to Kumisai#I don’t really have too many headcanons about her yet. but she’s probably rather happy and carefree#having a large support system as a result of being raised communally#I think she considers Daneli her mom and the others are her aunties. auntie Shezan in particular is a notoriously bad influence :)#and maybe one day she’d get to meet her bio mom. but only if that’s something both of them want. not sure yet#I feel like she’s rather disconnected from her water tribe heritage since everyone around her is Earth Kingdom. save Phailin who’s half FN#but she still has small hints of blue in her clothing. the colour matching her beautiful eyes. maybe she is curious about her bio dad a bit#since unlike with her bio mom no one knew him and can’t tell her anything. that’s bound to come as a natural curiosity at some point right?#maybe that can be part of her story when she’s an adult. trying to find her bio dad. but ultimately it doesn’t matter that much#because Daneli is her mom and the only parent she needs <3 I’m really just throwing out suggestions here to fill the tag space#kaaatttt come discuss all this stuff with me I waited all night for you to wake up >:) distract me from my grandma’s tv watching
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