#one from Eddie’s perspective the day of the fire and one from buck’s perspective in the morning

[try-set-me-on-fire]

its work in progress wednesday thursday, its fuck it friday thursday, its Impatient Thursday (new game I’m making up right now where theres no themed tag game for the day but you’re writing and want to share, please consider yourself tagged if you are also in this situation)

Since the coma, waking up has been an uneasy thing for Buck. There’s always a few moments, a few minutes, where his own bed is unfamiliar and his own walls strange. It’s a lonely, lost little feeling, he thinks, to come aware and not know his place in the world.

Today he wakes up in Eddie’s arms and knows exactly where he is.

Well, not in Eddie’s arms, exactly. They’re not really embracing, or even wrapped up together particularly closely. Eddie is on his stomach, face turned away from Buck. Their arms are pressed together the entire length from shoulder to wrist, and Buck’s busted ankle is hooked over the back of Eddie’s leg. Probably helpful, elevating it is good, he’d meant to put a pillow under it before he fell asleep.

So they’re not holding each other but they’re here, in Eddie’s bed, and Buck doesn’t feel lost for even a second. He turns his hand and the angle is a little awkward but he’s able to thread a few of their fingers together. Eddie’s breath stutters a little but he doesn’t wake up just yet, so Buck takes the time alone to study him like there’s an exam coming up, as if knowing everything about Eddie Diaz is something he needs any practice for.

[wildlife4life]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday

Tagged by the super fantabulous @bekkachaos (dropped a whole fic, check it out!) @jamespearce9-1-1 @thewolvesof1998 @giddyupbuck @eddiebabygirldiaz @hippolotamus @daffi-990 @jesuisici33 and @disasterbuckdiaz. Thank you all so much and I am so very excited for your works!

Feeling a lot better today and I'm in still in a good NFL Buck mood. So here is a little snippet from the Dosed arc, featuring for the first time Buck's perspective. (Everything NFL Buck can be found here.)

After many different un-needed apologies from Eddie about the pollen and several assurances from Buck that Eddie is safe from the tiny ladies made of said pollen, the dosed firefighter finally passes out. Poor man is still in his uniform and is going to have one hell of a hangover when he wakes up. Or at least according to the article Buck speed read after Sergeant Grant stated his boyfriend and the majority of the 118 had been dosed with a hallucinogen. Most likely LSD. Buck lets out a groan of both frustration and weariness. He had just gotten home from the days workout with the team and was getting ready for his cool down when the gates intercom went off. Thinking it was another wayward delivery person who had yet again ignored instructions to leave all packages in the lock box, Buck was taken by complete surprise to see LAPD on the video. And hearing Eddie's desperate cries in the background, threw him for a major loop. Eddie is taken care of for the moment and quick texts to Carla and his sister, insured Christopher would be away until tomorrow afternoon, giving his father time to recover. The last issue at hand, is waiting patiently in Buck's living room. Rolling his shoulders, Buck steps through the arch way, doing his best to ignore the niggle of fear in his gut and to just put on the mask of Evan Buckley, charismatic and cool NFL quarterback. "Seeing that you are alone and a little more at ease, I assume firefighter Diaz is finally settled?" The Sergeant asks sounding truly concerned, but Buck can also see a glint of scrutiny and the mask of charm falters. "Um, yea." Buck answers trying and failing to meet her sharp gaze, feeling as if she could see every little secret he was holding. "Thank you, again for bringing him home and keeping him safe." Ms. Grant shrugs, "Its the job and he's fellow first responder. Plus my husband is becoming quite fond of Diaz, even without knowing him all that well." She catches Buck's wondering eye at that and it freezes him on the spot. "Have to say, finding out Evan Buckley, the LA Ram's shiny new star and hottest NFL bachelor is secretly dating a single father and firefighter from Texas, is the most surprising thing that's happened to me so far this year. And I allowed a delinquent kid out of my custody, to hot wire a concrete mixer to save a man trapped in his burning car." The entirety of the Evan Buckley facade shatters and Buck has to swallow every shard of dread. Shit.

Like Buck could fool Athena. Psssh. Hope you all enjoyed!

PSA: School has officially started for me this week and as I am in a 9 month fast track program, most of my focus will be on my school work, so my writing is going to slow down. But I will find the time.

Tagging (no pressure): @wikiangela @exhuastedpigeon @spotsandsocks @rainbow-nerdss @devirnis @spaceprincessem @fortheloveofbuddie @lover-of-mine @athenagranted @eddiescowboy @evanbegins @elvensorceress @malewifediaz @911onabc @911-on-abc @loserdiaz @hoodie-buck @try-set-me-on-fire @theotherbuckley @ladydorian05 @bigfootsmom @watchyourbuck @thekristen999 @shortsighted-owl @spagheddiediaz @monsterrae1 @rogerzsteven @eowon @princessfbi @honestlydarkprincess @vampbuckley @bitchfacediaz @buck-coded @housewifebuck @glorious-spoon @buddierights @prosperdemeter2 @gayedmundodiaz @lemonzestywrites

[disaster-j]

Let us make one thing very clear

Eddie is NOT OKAY with Gerard's bs behaviour

I don't need to watch the episode to know that's not what this is about. I've been with this character for six seasons I have followed him through quite a harrowing journey for six years of his life. I know the kind of person Eddie Diaz is and if you've watched this show you should too.

Eddie would never be OKAY with anything Gerard says or does. But Eddie spent most of his life struggling under his parents' expectations and Eddie has an army background and Eddie has been shown to be someone who is not comfortable with going against authority figures. It's part of why his argument with Bobby in s5 was so impactful and made it so clear that he was acting off. Because Eddie Diaz, as much as he is a fighter in his personal life, is a follower in the workspace.

On top of that, unlike Buck who is new to belonging to a minority and hasn't had to ever face bigotry targeted towards him, Eddie grew up with the last name Diaz in small-town Texas. He's very well acquainted with bigotry and has a better understanding of when fighting back works and when it will just blow up in your own face.

We saw in Hen Begins that while Hen fighting back was important to inspire the others to also fight back against Gerard, it wasn't until Chim, Sal and Tommy sent in complaints that they were able to make any kind of progress on the official front. In a situation like this it goes beyond just strength in numbers. You cannot fight it out alone without fucking up your own career. Take it from a queer woman working in a problematic environment in a patriarchal country, it's much easier to lose your job for standing up for yourself than it is to keep your head down and try to just get through the day.

And Gerard? Has the full support of a politician with a personal grudge. Think about it. What is Buck really gonna accomplish by yelling it out with Gerard on the fire station floor? Is it gonna help the situation or make everything that much worse for himself and possibly the others too? Is there perhaps a better way to deal with Gerard that doesn't risk losing their jobs which requires keeping your head down around the guy?

Bc trust me, if I hated my boss and wanted him out. I would not give him a reason to suspect me when he still has power over me. It's what Chim, Sal and Tommy did and it saved Hen's career and contributed to Gerard getting kicked tf out.

My point being. Yes it's good to stand up for what's right. But sometimes it's necessary to keep your head down and not get into useless arguments with someone who is not only incapable of understanding anyone's perspective other than their own but will also gladly ruin your life and career just bc he felt mildy provoked by your existence.

[glorious-spoon]

Second-Guessing [9-1-1 | Buck/Eddie | 1/1]

Rating: Teen Wordcount: ~1000 Warnings: None Other Tags: Pre-relationship, Emotional hurt/comfort, Friendship, Episode tag - 6x13 Mixed Feelings

-

“Do you think I’m bad at sex?”

Eddie barks out a startled laugh at his ceiling, then straightens up. This is not, unfortunately, the weirdest way Buck has ever opened a phone call with him, but it’s definitely up there. “What?”

“That call the other day, you know, the lady with the vibrator—”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Eddie,” Buck whines. “This is important!”

“Is it, really?”

“Eighty percent. He said that the article said eighty percent of people report being unsatisfied. Do you know how many women I’ve slept with? Eighty percent of that is, like, a lot. Okay? And I was doing some research—on a first time hookup, did you know that only forty percent of women even have an orgasm at all? So if I do the math on that—”

“Buck.”

Buck lets out a deep sigh that crackles down the phone line. “I’m being an idiot about this, aren’t I?”

“Nah. Well, I mean, kinda. But it’s okay.”

“Is it, though? Like—” there’s a rustle on the other end of the line. It’s easy to imagine Buck right now, flopped out across his bed because the couch his parents bought him is a bona fide torture device. In his sweatpants, probably, his hair still damp from the shower. He lets out another sigh, then says, “You know, Bobby was saying—when I was with Taylor, Bobby said that the problem was that I never talk to my partners, that I don’t know how to communicate, and that’s why my relationships always turn into catastrophes.”

“I don’t think that’s quite what he was saying. And Taylor—”

“I know. You hate her guts.”

Eddie snorts. “I was gonna say that it’s different, in a long term relationship.”

“Right, but. I haven’t historically had a lot of success with those.”

“Relationships don’t work out sometimes. A lot of the time.”

There’s silence for a moment. It’s not just Taylor hanging over the conversation now; Ana is there too. And Shannon.

Sex with Ana was always stilted, awkward in a way that he told himself at the time was just the newness of it all. Just a new person, a new body to learn, just Eddie being rusty when it came to literally any form of physical intimacy. He and Shannon were each other's firsts, so of course neither of them knew what they were doing to start with, and what they learned they learned together. By the end of it, sex was the only part of their relationship that actually worked. Beyond that—

He doesn’t really have a lot of perspective to offer Buck, is the thing. Even setting aside the fact that he’s not sure he can give an objective analysis of the sexual history of the guy he’s in love with.

So there’s that.

“It’s just…” Buck sounds quieter now, almost miserable, and it tugs at Eddie's heartstrings despite the absurdity of this whole conversation. “That was like. The one thing I knew I was good at. You know? Everything else, sure, my life was a mess, I made a lot of dumb choices and messed up a lot of relationships and got myself fired, and—but at least I knew how to, you know, make somebody feel good. Except maybe I didn’t after all. And if I wasn’t even any good at that, then—”

“Buck,” Eddie interrupts again. Gently, this time. He firmly squashes the unhelpful little voice in the back of his head that wants to ask for a hands-on demonstration. Buck sounds freaked out enough that he might actually take Eddie up on it, and Eddie is… really not ready to cope with that possibility. “You’re spiraling.”

Another silence. Then: “I called them. Some of them.”

Good grief. “Your hookups?”

“Yeah—is that a disrespectful way to talk about them? I mean—anyway, yeah. The ones I still have phone numbers for, I called them. Most of them didn’t want to talk to me.”

“Shocking,” Eddie deadpans.

Buck laughs, which is what he was going for. “Shut up.”

“So? What was the verdict?”

He regrets asking the moment the words are out of his mouth, but he doesn't take it back.

“Uh,” Buck says, still laughing a little. “Of the ones I actually got a hold of? Yes, yes, probably, no, who the hell are you, I thought I blocked your number, yes, no, I don't remember, yes.”

“More yeses than nos,” Eddie offers.

“Unless they were lying to make me feel better,” Buck counters triumphantly.

“Buck. If someone called you up out of the blue after years of radio silence to ask if you had an orgasm when you slept together, would you lie about it to spare their feelings?”

Buck is quiet for a minute. “Yeah, okay, that was kind of an insane thing to do, huh.”

“A little. Yeah.”

He can hear the fondness in his own voice and is helpless to mute it. Though he's honestly not really trying that hard. Buck deserves to know that he's loved, even when he's being ridiculous. Maybe especially then.

“I just worry. You know, that all the shit I thought I knew about myself—that maybe it’s not really true after all. And if that’s the case then who the hell am I, anyway?”

“Feels like this maybe isn’t actually about whether or not you’re good in bed,” Eddie offers, and bites his teeth on anything else he could say about that. About finding out that maybe the person you thought you were was just a carefully painted mask over the messy, tender reality underneath. He could offer Buck some truth of his own, but he doesn’t. It doesn’t feel like the right time for it.

That, or he’s a coward. He’s working on it, though.

“Maybe not. I guess. Eddie, I…” Buck trails off.

“What?” Eddie asks, when a few moments of silence have passed.

“Nothing,” Buck says. He laughs quietly; Eddie can conjure up the shape of his smile and the crinkles at the corners of his eyes as easily as breathing. “Just. Thanks for taking my call.”

“Of course. Always.”

For a little while, they just breathe together across the miles between them as night falls gently over Los Angeles. Then Buck says softly, “Come over tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says back, just as soft. There’s nothing new about the invitation, but it feels new, somehow, anyway. Either way, the answer is the same as it’s always been. “Yeah, okay.”

[spotsandsocks]

✨ 2023 writing round-up ✨

Tagged by (and I might have missed some people sorry) @exhuastedpigeon @jamespearce9-1-1 @heartshapedvows @thekristen999 @jesuisici33 @daffi-990 @hippolotamus @wikiangela

Links to all 23 fics I’ve written which I’ve just realised coincidentally matches the year maybe I shouldn’t work on that Christmas fic after all 🤔 All under the cut cos that’s quite a few and your dash does not need to be bothered by that! 😆😆 I will forget to tag someone I know it, so if I do I didn’t really and you’re tagged too cos you’re wonderful

💕💜💕Thank you to each and everyone of you who talks to me, tags me, supports and encourages me, reblogs and likes. Sends asks and questions and prompts and love in my direction. Thank you for sharing your time, talents , your words and creative skills with us all. You make my days brighter and more fun. I adore you all and wish you all a happy kind and peaceful 2024. 💕💜💕

January

Home Wanted 6k established Buddie new pet based shenanigans 🐀🐁🐀

Could Have Should Have Would Have 3k my biggest hit this year angsty then sweet

Who You Gonna Call? 9k Eddie calls Buck and works out how he feels

February

This Must Be Love 5.7k fluffy valentines fic featuring pea puns 🫛

March

Just another minute 1.2k 6x10 spec

No Place 8.4k coma!buck spec fic with a few similarities to what we got actually

It's Such A Feeling 1.8k couldn’t remember but apparently hand appreciation fic that gets smutty 😉

April

Date Night 2k I got stuck on bus for almost 3 hours and this happened - surprisingly popular considering I had no plans to write it until traffic hit!

The Answer I Needed 2.4k Buck is always there for Eddie 5plus 1 across time till love strikes

Always There 1.6k Tía Pepa sees all at Christopher’s birthday party

May

Everything But (temptation) 4.7 5plus 1 of Eddie being a flirty tease and driving Buck crazy

Worth the wait5.7 same fic but from Buck’s perspective

July

Good Knight Sweet Prince 167,316k ahh my best beloved started in 2023 and finished this year. I adored writing and sharing this what turned out to be epic length fantasy au. Knights princes dragons thwarted love and a happy ending what can I say if that’s your thing give it a go.

Let me stay by your fire (for nothing warms me like you do)4.5k couldn’t let go of mediaeval theme so knight Buck this time coming home to his blacksmith friend Eddie. Oh and bees. 🐝

August

Something Worth Staying For 21k an enemies to lover (although not really enemies) small town newspaper au where Buck turns up and Eddie hates him until he doesn’t. Featuring my real life computer disaster 😆

Tied To You From The Start 13.4k a challenge I took on and did rather well if I say so myself 😆😆 paranormal mysterious shenanigans. Buck in peril and on the run Eddie trying to save him from his own self sacraments and hot sex.

September

The Comfort of Your Hands 2.9k inspired by an anon talking about Eddie running fingers through Bucks hair. No plans for this one it just happened and again was well received. Maybe I should stop planning fics and just see what happens.

October

The Price of Love (is high) 7.7k autumnangstfest drama. I put them both through it. All past traumas coming back to cause trouble.

Your heart or mine? Yours every time 3.6k a hungry vampire!Buck and Eddie get stuck in a lift … things occur

November

100 word fics added a short fic to this little collection i actually love doing these. It’s a great challenge

Only one answer 590 couldn’t remember.. had a look and went oh yeah that was cute. Proposal fic in under 600 words

In my defence I was left unsupervised 1.3k Buck gets bored with sissors Eddie likes the results … who could resist buzz but Buck… not Eddie it seems

Nov/Dec

The Lost and The Found wip 5/10 48k this was not meant to be this long but guess what.. got carried away and plot is plotting and demands around 100,000 at least in the end I suspect. 5 chapters out number 6and 7 before Christmas this counts as 2023 doesn’t it? Come join me for the ride

@daffi-990 @shortsighted-owl @monsterrae1 @rogerzsteven @hippolotamus @loserdiaz @the-likesofus @stagefoureddiediaz @yelenasbuddie @hoodie-buck @buddierights @bekkachaos @thekristen999 @ronordmann @caroandcats @spaceprincessem @disasterbuckdiaz @heartshapedvows @underwater-ninja-13 @wildlife4life @wikiangela @thewolvesof1998 @exhuastedpigeon @weewootruck @giddyupbuck @housewifebuck @honestlydarkprincess @pirrusstuff @elvensorceress @jesuisici33 @eddiebabygirldiaz @jamespearce9-1-1 @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @wh0re-behavi0r @princessfbi @jacksadventuresinwriting @ci5mates @katries @megsvstheworld @like-the-rest-of-la

[artzzyb00-27]

Buck's Baby Deer

Buck has a daughter AU. You all love it. I know you do. Anyway her name is Calliope Buckley. And she's four years old. This takes place Post-Lawsuit(our favorite). Pretend the loft has two bedrooms, please. Jealous Eddie, of a male friend of Buck's who is flirty with everyone. So all in all, good fun. Might make a part two to this, but not immediately taking place after.

If you had told Buck that he would've ended up straining his relationship with the 118 more. He never would have officiated the lawsuit. Considered it, yes. He had a kid to think about.

Calliope Buckley. Buck's pride and joy. Truly, she was a sweet kid. She was smart, which she got from her mom, and had sass to her which came from Buck.

The swearing came from her staying up late without Buck knowing and watching what he was watching secretly. Rick and Morty is the favorite. Of course, she got grounded, but hey at least she never whines when she gets punished. Due to it happening often, and never being extreme punishments.

Also, she only does small things, like drawing on the wall. So then she can't have her crayons and markers for a week. Till she started with black pens, which artistically impressed Buck, and gave her stuff back.

Her mom? Well to put it simply, she didn't want kids. Well not yet. She didn't feel ready, but she told Buck because she knew how much he wanted his own family. She said she'd go through the pregnancy for him, but after that, they were done. Buck was heartbroken, but it was healed with a tiny baby with a birthmark running across their nose.

Reckless Buck had been mainly a ploy, yeah Abby had been a thing, and Ali had loved Calliope, but Calliope never liked the women that came. So after Taylor, he stopped dating.

Which, yeah probably got rid of free babysitter but he had Carla. Who swore to not tell anyone about Callie. That's how he ended up at the store that day. He needed to go buy kid snacks and nutritional values. And he picked up some cat stuff for his neighbor Caleb.

He had forgotten the 118 showed up there to get their supplies. It slipped his mind, especially with a hungry four-year-old wandering around inside because she saw Nemo flavored Oreos posters outside and couldn't help but run in to look for them. 

"Because you're exhausting! We all have our own problems but you don't see us whining about it. Somehow we just manage to suck it up." Eddie yelled at him, that he was exhausting. It made him freeze. For one, the guy he liked, maybe even loved, hated him. Two, his daughter was around and he didn't want her to hear this. Especially cause it was true. At least to Buck, it was. Caleb had been great at making sure he knew how much he mattered.

But sometimes no matter how hard you helped, the brain would hotwire itself to not listen. His ears were ringing. Breathing was shaky and suddenly something exploded behind them. They ran out. Callie.

He grabbed her, grabbed the cookies, paid, and got the hell out of there. When Mackey told him they won and that the fire department wanted to give him 5.6 million dollars. He refused. He already had money from Callie's mom. Who was stupid rich, and gave him extra money than he needed for child support. How did Bobby and Maddie not know about this? Well it was in the files that weren't allowed to be shown to everyone, and Maddie hadn't probed questions at him while she was with Doug.

Callie's grandparents(maternal) were godsends. When he was too busy to make a flight for Callie, they would come and visit from Michigan. Good ole Harold and Ellie. Old but sturdy. Kind yet honest. Heart driven, yet logical.

When he denied the settlement,  Chiefs Williams and Alfonso had called him in. Asking why he didn't take it. When he explained the lawsuit from his perspective, they told him they'd make Bobby let him back in. He agreed, only on the terms that no one got fired. He knew what Bobby did wasn't professional, but he didn't want the man to lose his job.

He had already given up on the idea of having his family back immediately. But that didn't matter. He needed money. He couldn't rely on others for it too much.

And he damn well wasn't going to get it from a settlement. He felt sick at the thought. So when he returned to work. He sucked up the way he was being treated.

Wasn't easy at first, but he'd been treated like this for most of his life. So he got used to it quickly. Callie was keeping him going, making sure to get up in the morning and to make food. For the both of them, because despite being young, Callie was an observant kid. Hen too, but she'd tried to keep the peace on both sides.

Guess the secret couldn't be kept any longer, as he was on a twelve-hour shift when Caleb called.

"Caleb?" He had been cleaning the kitchen counter. The 118 was dispersed everywhere throughout the station, but Eddie, Hen, Chim, and Bobby were in the dining area nearby.

Looking over, Eddie frowned his eyebrows. Who the hell was Caleb?

"Slow down-,... Shit. I'm on my way."  Buck hung up the call and sped walked to Bobby. "I'm so sorry Cap, but I need to leave. Family emergency."

"What? Maddie didn't call." Chim said confused. Buck just rolled his eyes and continued talking. Taking the others aback.

"No, not Maddie, but someone who is family to me needs help and I can't wait around. Besides I only have thirty minutes left."

Contemplating for a brief minute, Bobby gave him the go-ahead. Giving his boss thanks, he ran downstairs, grabbed his duffle, and ran out. Didn't even bother changing out.

"Who'd you think needed help? I didn't even know he had other friends outside of us." Hen's questioning made Eddie and Bobby think. Had Buck ever mentioned anyone he knew outside of work?

-------------------------------------------

Heading to the hospital had been teasingly slow. Buck didn't know what exactly happened, but his daughter was there and needed a cast.

When he got there, he saw Caleb's car in the front. Luckily there was a spot next to it so he just parked there. Running in, he saw Caleb pacing around the waiting room. This guy is the guardian angel of his daughter.

"Caleb! What the hell happened?" Buck asked running up to his new best friend. Eddie had been demoted recently, which hurt Buck more than when he admitted to himself that he was in love with the man. Wasn't that hard of a realization as Caleb was studying to be a therapist and became a free one for Buck. He was gonna be great for younger kids.

"I'm so sorry, we were at the park and she was climbing the monkey bars like usual but some kids ran underneath her. I think she freaked and let go. She broke her list when she landed. I'm so sorry, Buck." Pulling the smaller man into a hug, Buck thanked him.

"You, confident Caleb, is worried? Relax, you did the right thing. Nothing worse happened so she's going to be okay. She's a tough nut to crack remember?"

"Yeah, she didn't fuss except when we were driving on our way to the hospital. Pulled out my phone to call you but she told me not to because it, 'Wasn't a big deal.'" Yup, his daughter all right. At that moment, the doctor came out.

"Family of Calliope Buckley." Both of the men walked up to her. "She's a brave and happy girl. She insisted on a cast with monster trucks on it." Chuckling softly, Buck just imagined his baby girl talking to the doctor casually as they were adjusting her broken wrist to fit into the cast.

"Yeah, that- that's Callie. My little warrior." Smiling at Buck the doctor extended out a hand. "I'm Callie's father by the way. Caleb is her godfather." The doctor smiled and read over her clipboard telling them what kind of pain meds she would need. Caleb, however, wasn't exactly listening. Godfather. Holy shit.

After the doctor told them she could have one of them go in, he gave Buck the go-ahead. They'd talk later, right now his friend needed to see his goddaughter. Damn, that feels good to say.

After a few minutes of waiting, the Buckleys walked out and Buck handed Callie off to Caleb to go check out. Walking out with the kid towards their cars he swung her around a bit, placed her on top of his hood, and just let her play games on his phone. She was good at Clash of Clans for a six-year-old.

When Buck walked out of the hospital, Caleb saw him look around to check for cars and when he turned right he froze. Then speed walked toward his daughter and best friend. Still half watching Callie, Caleb put her in the back seat of Bucks jeep.

"What happened?" He asked with Callies door still open. Her seat was always right behind Bucks. She liked being a tailgunner for some reason.

"The 118s here." Not wanting to look suspicious, Caleb pulled Buck into a hug with his eyes closed. Then when he opened his eyes as he was about to let go, he locked eyes with one of them. A relatively smaller guy who had brown hair and tanned skin. He looked confused. Mad? Who knows, but it wasn't happy.

"We'll talk about it later. Right now, this little fighter needs an ice cream." Callie shot out of her seat and yelled out.

"Fuck yeah!" Throwing their heads back, slightly looking around for parents who thought they were better, Caleb and Buck laughed at the six-year-old. Shaking his head, Caleb shriveled her hair and practiced his handshake with Buck. Then went into his pickup and drove off. Buck settled Callie down and told her to sit down. She did so immediately, already deciding what three flavors she could mix up conveniently.

Closing her door, Buck opened his door and drove off to the small ice cream business near his apartment to get their usuals for him and his small family. Meanwhile, the 118, specifically Eddie, watched him drive away.

-------------------------------------------

Watching Buck drive away with a kid was strange. Watching Buck with another man and kid, was even more strange. Was that Caleb? And who the hell was that kid Buck had in the back seat? After that, he decided to confront Buck about it next shift but then realized that Buck wouldn't be at work for another three days.

When he came to work the next morning, he noticed the small tension because no one could ask about what the hell they saw yesterday at the hospital parking lot. So they waited. And when the time came, Bobby said they were gonna have Bosko take over for Buck.

"He's on paid family leave." He explained but wouldn't go into detail.

"Why?" Eddie asked. Maddie wasn't hurt, or Chimney would be gone as well.

"Can't say. He told me not to. Leave it at that." For some reason, Bobby looked apprehensive. Which made Eddie more frustrated. He'd already dropped the street fighting. He didn't want to see Lena right now. So that's how he somehow found himself sitting in his car. In front of Buck's apartment building.

He hadn't decided if he wanted to go in, yet he was sitting out here like a stalker. In the end, he walked into the elevator and walked towards Buck's apartment. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door.

After what felt like the longest minutes, Eddie heard the door unlocking. His heart beating in his chest, preparing to face whatever was behind that door. Then it opened. It wasn't Buck opening the door no. But a guy slightly taller than Eddie, with darker skin, side shaves, and braids that went over the top of his head. He had muscle and yet looked so meek. Slight stubble and a scar on his right eyebrow.

"Can I help you hermoso?" His accent seemed Dominican. Shook, Eddie froze, till he heard a familiar voice.

"Eddie?" Behind the beautiful man blocking Eddie, was Buck. In a hoodie with basketball shorts and sneakers. The hoodie was not baggy, as it clung to Bucks biceps making it look like it was about to rip. "What are you doing here?"

"I-I thought you were alone."

"Daddy? Who's that?" A little girl behind both of the men walked out of the hall from the spare room. Okay, what the fuck? Eddie thought as he stumbled slightly and opted to leave. Buck followed him down the hall closing the door, leaving Caleb to distract Callie.

"Eddie! Eddie! You can't just show up, a-and not explain why you're here randomly at 3 p.m.." Buck said after pulling Eddie to a stop with a firm hand on the shoulder. Eddie spun around breathing rapidly.

"Me? Me not explain!? You have a kid that none of us know about!"

"Why does it matter?! You've done a really good job at pretending I'm not there at work." Not wanting a repeat of the grocery store, Buck left to go inside and left Eddie frozen in the apartment complex hallway. Unconsciously doing the same thing the older man had done to him.

Finding his way, Eddie headed home to his son. Who was playing online with his friends, so it gave Eddie an excuse to lie down on his bed. Staring up at his ceiling, Eddie contemplates back. To when he first met Buck. Then to the fire truck bombing and the backyard incident at Athena and Bobby's place. It had scared him so much that he had initially agreed with the idea of Buck staying away from the 118. Hell, the whole fire department.

But when he filed that stupid lawsuit, it hurt worse to have Buck out of reach. Then he came back. And Eddie did not want to talk to him. Despite his heart longing to and making it break every time he snarked at anything Buck said or did in his general vicinity. He was angry at Buck but hated himself for being angry at Buck. The street fighting had started as a good outlet to let out the anger. But it went too far, and he blamed Buck for not being there when he needed someone to bail him out.

Now it turns out he has a family. A daughter, he had said he'd be better at raising girls than boys, and a man who looked like the perfect,... husband? Buck never talked about sexuality. Sexual innuendos yeah, but anything else no. But that didn't make sense because he had dated a woman while working at the 118. Unless it was recent. Then that Caleb guy was most likely his boyfriend.

That absolutely didn't sting.

Eddie was his best friend and yet he didn't know Buck's sexuality. Except,.. they hadn't acted like best friends had they? They(Eddie) haven't talked about the lawsuit properly and how it affected everyone(them).

Thinking back to the little girl at the apartment, Eddie couldn't help the small fond look that formed on his face. She was definitely Buck's. Seeing as the blonde curly hair and birthmark over the nose didn't give it away, she had the specific head tilt and eyebrow raise Buck had when he asked questions before going down a rabbit hole of information.

The fond expression quickly vanished as he remembered her arm. She had a cast on. That explained Buck's Paid Family Leave. Eddie could agree with Buck on this one, kids come first.

-------------------------------------------

After the Eddie pop-up two weeks ago, came Hen and Karen. Caleb was babysitting his goddaughter when knocking from Buck's apartment three doors down was heard. Repeated knocking. Sighing, Caleb threw the hand towel he was using to wipe down the island of his kitchen over his shoulder and told Callie to stay in her playroom.

Peeking out into the hallway, Caleb saw two black women waiting in front of Buck's door. His Bob Marley Vinyl could be heard from outside, so it drew their attention.

"He's not home. He'll be back in thirty minutes." They nodded and looked back at the door. Then he walked up to him.

"Hey there, I'm Hen. This is my wife Karen." Hen greeted shaking Caleb's hand.

"Nice to meet you."

"Always glad to meet beautiful faces, I'm Caleb by the way. I'm Bucks best friend." Hen and Karen gained shocked looks at different things. They gave each other a look that Caleb couldn't describe and thanked him while walking down to the lobby of that floor.

Caleb could've sworn he heard, 'Eddie's not gonna like this.', but who cares. Callie wanted Neapolitan, and she was gonna have it goddammit. After thirty-five minutes, Caleb counted, Buck opened the door and joined them for ice cream.

After they finished, they stood up and got ready to relax in their apartments separately. When Callie went in she bolted towards her room to catch up on homework she had procrastinated on accident. She had a bad memory and would forget about when to do things.

"Oh yeah, these women came by earlier. They said they were Hen and Karen?" Buck's eye widened. Then his eyebrows furrowed slightly in thought.

"They're friends through work. Why'd they come here?"

"Not sure, but they weren't happy about me saying I was your best friend. They said Eddie wouldn't be happy." Weird, they said goodbye and continued their normal weekend routine like normal. With Buck being off work for a bit and Caleb off at his work as a mechanic for big trucks, Buck decided to take Callie to the mall. She loved Hot Topic, especially with all the new pins and Bluey merch Buck told her they got.

He wanted the anime and Coraline merch they had. When they got there, they quickly went to Barnes & Noble for a gift card for Caleb's birthday and to look for Vinyls that they wanted. They ended up getting one from Bob Marley and a CD from multiple oldies artists. Callie had gotten a CD player for her birthday a few weeks back so it was perfect timing.

Though she did like her dad's music, she wanted her favorites that she had heard from Buck's Spotify and put on a special playlist for her. Heading to Hot Topic, they browsed the store together. They found some cool earrings that were based on space that Callie liked. So Buck got the punk leather bracelet pack to get another piece of jewelry for half off.

Once leaving the store, they went to the food court and ordered a pizza for the two of them. Pepperoni on one half and sausage and olives on the other. Buck got his pizza whilst Callie ate her olives individually before eating the slices. A habit that she developed from when she was a baby. Olives were always eaten separately.

After they were finished, they put the tray on the stand above the trash can and then left to go back home. Getting boba on the way though. Callie claimed that her stomach needed some liquid to calm the food in her stomach.

They got out of the car, ordered, and sat at the tables outside to enjoy the warm sun cascading down. This made everything worth it to Buck, all it was missing was,... well.

"Buck?" Hearing that voice in particular made his heart beat fast. Whether from fear or feelings. Either way, he didn't want to deal with this. "And little girl."

"Who you calling little?"

"H-Hey now, Callie, remember what I told you?" Sighing, the sassy child responded.

"'Not to speak disrespectfully to anyone you don't know.' She had used a deeper voice to repeat her father's words. "I know, I'll try to be better."

"I know." Buck's gentle reply did something to Eddie that he wasn't ready to admit yet. Turning back to Eddie, Buck asked him why he was there.

"I came to pick up and order Chim did online for us. Didn't know you'd be here, I swear." Buck just said it was fine and to ignore it. But Eddie couldn't. He went inside, grabbed the five drinks, and walked back to his truck. He placed the drinks in the passenger seat momentarily before walking back to the father-daughter duo. "Look, I know you probably don't want to talk to me after what happened at your apartment, but I need to get something off my chest."

"Is it about that overused grey shirt that's probably been through more flannels than you have relationships?"

"Callie."

"I said I'd try to be better."

Dang, Callie had some attitude. It was oddly loveable. Hearing Buck sigh and seeing him get up gave Eddie the go-ahead to speak.

"You were right. I wasn't there for you after the truck ladder. I didn't try to understand the lawsuit or your side of the story. Hell, I did the opposite and indulged in street fighting." A look from Buck made him feel smaller than he already was. "I stopped, don't worry. Anyway,... I messed up. We all did. But especially me. I promised I'd have your back and I didn't. And I swear that right here right now, if you're willing to let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it. Calling you exhausting was the worst thing I could have done. Especially because it's not true, you've helped me out a lot with Christopher. And you were taking care of your daughter to add to everything else! I'm not asking for forgiveness but I am offering it to you. And even if you don't want to, I want you and Christopher to be able to hang out again. I want Christopher and your daughter to properly meet and for your boyfriend-"

"Boyfriend? Caleb's my best friend, not boyfriend." Oh. That hurt a little less than Eddie thought it would.

"Oh, well, good to know. And for you. Buck, you deserve someone who will be there for you. Platonic or not. Assuming that Maddie doesn't know yet, I won't say anything to the others about her." With that, Eddie began to walk off. Till a hand got placed on his shoulder.

"I don't forgive you yet. But I'd like to try." Letting out a sigh of relief, Eddie nodded and drove off. Quickly wiping his tears before getting out of his truck and walking inside Bobby and Athena's house. It was a start.

If he wanted his friend back, he'd have to work for it. He'd die for Buck. He'd make that clear.

-------------------------------------------

The day after the boba apology, Buck had considered introducing Callie to the 118. Only his close friends. With Caleb there for support. And to officially introduce him as the godfather to Callie. He didn't want to make anything official yet though. He wanted to get her opinion first.

"Okay." Easier than he thought.

"You sure kiddo? You've only heard stories about them." Calliope was mature for her age, but she was still a kid. He didn't want to force her into something that would make her uncomfortable.

"I mean, I'm not happy it took this long. Especially if I can have friends after school." Buck hadn't let her have friends come over from her school. The only reason was he didn't want his parents being bitchy or weird towards him and Carla about why he didn't stay home. Or why the mom wasn't around. "But Pops told me that sometimes people take time to adjust to changes. Like how I had to get used to wearing normal shoes and not light-ups all the time."

Buck didn't think he deserved her, but Caleb and Carla had reinforced multiple times that they weren't one without the other.

"Alright. I'll tell them to come over tomorrow. Is that fine?" With a small head nod, he shot a text to the group chat and one separate to Eddie. Saying to bring Chris to keep Callie comfortable. He then went over to Caleb's with Callie and spent the afternoon there.

After sending the text messages, ten minutes later Buck's phone started going off. With responses to the invitation to his apartment. They all had accepted.

-------------------------------------------

118���

Hen:

Sure, got nothing going on

Tried swinging by earlier and you weren't there

Chim:

Down to go, wanna bring Maddie

 Is that okay?

Buck: 

Yeah that's fine

Bobby: 

I'll be there, Athena will be too

Hen:

Karen will be working so I'm flying solo tmr

Eddie:

I'll be there

-------------------------------------------

Eddie

Hey thanks for the invite, Chris will be there too

Good to know, I was thinking of making pasta or ordering

Just order pizzas, we'll be fine

Alright, see you tmr

-------------------------------------------

A few minutes after the pizzas arrived, so did their visitors. Callie claimed that she had to make a good impression on Athena. So Buck styled her hair in Dutch braids and put on her best green shoes paired with her black overalls and striped yellow shirt.

She set out a LEGO box of Hogwarts on the coffee table for her and Chris to build together while the adults talked. When knocking was heard at the door, Callie and Buck got ready to receive them. All of them arrived near the same time so they decided to walk in together.

Taking a deep breath, Buck opened the door and smiled at them. However, their attention was quickly drawn to a young girl's voice yelling.

"Surprise bitches!" Callie was doing a dramatic pose whilst wearing sunglasses that Buck had bought a while back. They looked comically huge but somehow they went with the outfit. As they walked in, they all had shocked faces. Except Bobby, Athena, and Eddie. Caleb was still in his place fixing something with his sink.

"Guys, meet Calliope Buckley. My daughter of six years old." Maddie looked distraught yet enamored. Hen looked like she wanted to kill Buck but hugged the hell out of Callie. Chris was shaking with excitement. Chim was looking between father and daughter. Probably making comparisons in his head. Athena was smiling with a fond look in her eyes.

Bobby had probably told Athena about her already, which was fine, but the look Bobby had was heartwarming. Eddie had a small smile on his face and glanced at Buck.

"What?" Maddie asked looking to Buck for answers. But before he could answer, Callie began chatting with Chris.

"Hi, I'm Callie."

"I'm Chris."

"Wanna build a LEGO Hogwarts?"

"YEAH!"

As the kids walked away and sat at the coffee table, Buck led the adults away as best he could from the kids.

"Questions and theories, I know. But right now, have some pizza." So they did, and while they were serving, Caleb walked in.

"Hey lovely's. How's it going?"

"About to explain." They all looked at him to continue and not leave them on edge. Breathing in a sigh, he started talking. "A few years back, I met a girl. She was sweet and cool and I thought we had something special. Then, she got pregnant and she explained to me that she didn't want kids. I respected it and decided to break it off. She had Callie because she knew how much I wanted kids. I was a teen dad by technicality. Callie's grandparents took care of her while I lived with my mom and dad. After I got my job here, I was able to have her move in with me." Waiting for it to register in their heads, he silently let them ask questions. Then Chim raised his head.

"So, who's mom?"

"Penelope Smith. She has a master's in medicine and is a practitioner for athletes specifically. She sends me money when she can. Doesn't mean I don't have to work though."

"Grandparents are sweet. They come to visit from Michigan when they can." At Maddie's eyebrow raised Buck explained further.

"After having Callie, they moved to Michigan for Pen's college and to raise Callie in a more communal area. Meanwhile, I went off to travel. Mainly to get my parents off my ass. I didn't want to at first but Harold and Ellie told me to go for it."

"Nah, Harold practically dragged you into that Jeep." Laughing at the memory the 118 smiled at the pair. Eddie too, his was just dimmed slightly.

Running into the kitchen, Callie looked up at Buck.

"Can we get our slices? Me and Chris want to multitask." Earning smiles from everyone in the kitchen, Buck got four slices and put two on each plate. He turned around and sighed at his family.

"Who's hungry?"

[sibylsleaves]

I love when people are like I love defend in place! I love may day!! And then Im just like yay two of the only episodes of 911 Ive never watched and everyone loves them …. And I love boston… episode of all time to me… I literally was sticking with s5 for the madney reunion and stopped watching after that… so what am I missing out on … (ive seen 5x13 and like half of 5x17 but everything else is kinda a mystery to me. Except the buddie scenes in 5x14 and some of the bobby stuff in 5x18)

anon im sorry it took me like 3 days to answer this but ok. May Day and Defend in Place.

Both episodes are like really excellent stand-alone single-disaster episodes where the stakes feel super high and the peril is actually exciting. Both episodes also feature fires which, in a show about firefighters you wouldn't think would be a rarity but it actually is and idk i appreciate it because i think fires are scary!!!!!!

So I'll start with Defend in Place. from a character perspective I love this episode because it gives us 1) Ravi lore, which until this episode was thin on the ground. it also gives us 2) Michael-Bobby-David dynamic which, if you've seen me post about There Goes the Neighborhood you will understand I am very weak for. And the dynamic for the three of them in this episode is SOOOOOO good. It's also I believe the last episode Michael is in, which is sad, but it's as good a send off for the character as they could've managed under the circumstances. Michael Grant was one of the best characters on the show, especially given he was the ONLY non-first responder series regulars. his chemistry with angela and peter is really incredible and i love his relationship with David (which is very much spotlighted in this ep)...anyway this wasn't supposed to turn into an essay about Michael but he is a big reason why I love this episode so much. There is also just a lot of pathos and like, people coming together and loving each other and caring about each other in really beautiful ways. I won't spoil anything in particular but there's a particular scene with Athena and Michael in the hospital parking lot that ALWAYS gets me. there's also a good buddie side-plot that involves babies and I'm always pro buddie + babies.

OK NOW MAY DAY. May Day, again--single disaster stand alone episode that utilizes the main cast INCREDIBLY well. We get a lot of focus on Eddie since the disaster takes place at Dispatch, as well as May and Bobby's relationship, which is also really special to me (i am a real sucker for like the beauty and love of blended families which I think 911 illustrated really well with the Grant-Nash family and something i do kinda miss about the show now that Michael is gone and May and Harry are around less.) Again, a good buddie subplot where we get to see Eddie back in action after a half-season of him being side-lined (in terms of the action, he obviously got a lot of screentime). also some good stuff for Chim. and josh actually (maybe?) gets a boyfriend.

there's also a scene at the end where they're trying to like shoe-horn in some relationship drama for Buck and Taylor but the way the scene plays out is so unintentionally funny because Buck is just like. not at all caring about whats going on because he's standing next to Eddie. Overall just a really good episode of like, the 118 in action and working all together which, again, we'd just gone through like a half a season without. So. everyone give it up for May Day!!!!!

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: Rescue vs. Save

Buck’s only SAVED three people but he’s RESCUED hundreds because that’s his job.

I completed a post about the difference between Buck rescuing and saving people last year (linked here) and after 6x17 “Love is in the Air” aired, I wanted to mention this again with definitions to illustrate how Buck rescues people for his job but he saves the people he loves.

To rescue means to remove a person from a dangerous, dire and/or an unpleasant situation, i.e., fire, earthquake, downed helicopter, car accident, etc. and a person can be rescued by someone they don’t know (firefighter).  It’s a one-time event.

To save someone is a process and it’s not a one-time event.  It’s a relationship and the person doing the saving and the one being saved perspectives’ change as they continue to grow and mature together. 

In 6x15 “Death and Taxes”, after Buck said he met up with Natalia, Eddie said, “Seriously… dating someone you rescued, you know that never ends well” and he SPECIFICALLY used the word RESCUED instead of SAVED for a reason.

Rescued

Buck rescued Taylor, Ali and Natalia after they were involved in accidents the same way he rescued people during the Tsunami and whenever the 118 was dispatched to rescue people from fires, earthquakes and other disasters.  Also, he rescued Kameron from the standpoint of her needing somewhere to stay while she and Connor are on the outs but since Connor will be in next week’s episode, it’s highly unlikely Buck will end up with Kameron.  He’ll probably be instrumental in helping them save their relationship but he won’t end up with her because the narrative for 6B with regards to the sperm donation has been showing the complete opposite of that scenario.  Connor’s the father (Buck said that in 6x10 “In a Flash” and he said it again to Natalia in 6x17), therefore in 6x18 “Pay it Forward”, he will do just that, pay it forward when he helps Connor realize he has everything he needs with Kameron.

Saved

Buck has only SAVED three people over the past six years and they are Maddie, Chris and Eddie and he saved them because he loves them.  Maddie is his sister; he’s Chris’ legal guardian (in the event of Eddie’s death but soon he’ll be Buck’s stepson) and Eddie is his everything.  Buck saved Maddie after she killed Doug and he ran to meet her when she was injured and stumbled out of the woods in 2x13 “Fight or Flight”.  But he doesn’t have to save her anymore because she’s with Chimney and he admitted it to Sue in 3x14 “The Taking of Dispatch” when he said, “She has everything she needs” as she was hugging Chimney.  Chimney will be the one who saves Maddie now.

Buck saved Chris during the Tsunami after the first wave hit and he swam out to get him.  They came up out of the water together and he protected him because he loves him.  Chris saved Buck too during their conversations both before and after the Tsunami hit when he said, “You’re going to be ok kid” and when he told Buck about never giving up while they sat on top of the 136’s firetruck.  He saved Chris again in 4x8 “Breaking Point” when he gave him a safe place to run to when Eddie starting dating AF.  He listened to Chris and promised him he wasn’t going anywhere and he hasn’t.

Buck SAVED Eddie after he was shot by a sniper in 4x13 “Suspicion” when he crawled underneath a ladder truck (something that almost caused him to lose his leg and his career) screaming for Eddie to get his hand out.  He pulled Eddie to safety and treated his wound until they made it to the hospital.  Reminder the 133’s paramedic was in the back of the ladder truck with them but Buck wouldn’t let her help. Buck SAVED Eddie and Chris again after Eddie’s breakdown in 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia”.  Chris called and Buck came to save both of them. Reminder, he stayed at the Diaz residence for several days until Eddie was feeling better and he called Bobby to help so that Eddie wouldn’t wake up alone. He loves them so much and he will do anything for them.

The point of this post is to prove that Eddie’s words in 6x15 were specific for a reason since Buck rescues people on the job but he saves his family, the people HE LOVES!

Therefore, Buck dating and marrying Eddie is plausible and likely since he didn’t rescue Eddie, he SAVED HIM!

[neptune-scythe]

thinking about Buck's relationship with Hen and how he probably gravitated towards her over everyone else when he first joined the 118 because she reminds him of Maddie.

like obviously they are very different people, but they're probably around the same age, both strong but in a very nurturing and protective way. and it is safe to say Maddie is the only meaningful relationship in Buck's life until the 118, but at that point he hasn't seen or heard from her in two or three years, so he probably (subconsciously or not) gravitated toward Hen to fill that void.

And Hen fills that position in her own way that's very different from Maddie but still giving sibling energy. which yes she is just naturally a very nurturing person and very protective of her friends and family, but she has a special genre of protectiveness and love for Buck; even as early as the first episode when she's the only one that says anything to him after he gets fired. which if I'm remembering correctly she says something like "we're all sad to see you go" but like ... she's the only one that actually says so to him.

I'm sure there's other instances in seasons 1 and 2 that I'm forgetting (tho tbh that scene in season 1 when they're playing video games is just so sibling coded it's ridiculous in all the good ways), but especially the whole first half of season 3 really highlights their bond.

when everyone is talking about how Buck is moping around his apartment and not doing anything and how he needs to get back to living his life, Hen is the only one who is advocating for him; which is not at all to say the others were attacking him or anything like that, but they did disagree with his choices and Hen was at the least trying to get the other's to see his perspective more and sympathize.

and after the tsunami, the way they hold onto each other

y'all

makes me so feral

but it's the way Chim just had one hand on Buck's arm and Buck was just sort of vaguely holding onto his arm too, but then Hen comes in with both arms around him, and Buck holds her arm with both hands and is low-key resting like his entire body's weight on her because she's the only one he can really lean on in that way because he and Chim aren't really that close at that point and he's always subconsciously or consciously trying to prove himself to Bobby and make him proud and Eddie is paying attention to Chrisopher and Buck's had to be strong for everyone all day and then Hen is there and she catches him and supports him and he just lets her because he doesn't have to pretend around her and jqndkdnskfjskjfksjfkdd

anyway

but then how she's the only one who welcomes him back on his first day and gets him a cupcake that "bleeds when you cut it" and is just being so casual and normal about him being back and the lawsuit and the blood thinners like it's just any other day and no biggie when everyone else is acting differently towards him in some capacity, mostly negatively (or at least he perceived it as negative).

and the way Hen was the one that convinced Bobby to let Buck out on calls, and was like the first person to just drop the whole lawsuit issue and be like nah it's whatever's welcome back bro

and several smaller instances in later seasons as well,

their conversation in the ambulance in Buck Begins "if you guys hadn't come in when you did" "but we did, and we always will"

Buck going to Hen over literally everyone else in his life including Maddie and Eddie for advice about the sperm donor situation

when they went to the Renaissance faire together with Denny??? mad sibling energy there like that was actually insane

the very specific way that Buck greets her in the hospital after the coma. idk I could be trippin bout that one but its just so soft and completely different from how he greets everyone else and more in line with how he is around Maddie in that scene and when they get back to his appartment

Hen wiping the blood off Buck's face when she's literally concussed and in much worse shape than him and trapped in an ambulance about to fall off an overpass girlie was insane for that

and yeah we all knew Buck was gay, but it's the way Hen knew ... which, gaydar canonically exists among the gays and I can sniff em out a mile away, but I'm just choosing to call that the fact that Buck is Hen's lil brother and she simply knows him in ways no one else does

anyway they are simply siblings and they are so special to me and it's making my brain go feral it's all I can think about I will be posting about it for days just you wait

[lover-of-mine]

Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday!

I was tagged by @daffi-990 @wikiangela @cowboy-buck thank you <3

I've been bouncing between docs for the past few days and I think the trapped in an elevator fic is the one that's closest to becoming something fully formed, but who knows, sometimes when they start talking they just refuse to shut up lol, but this bit is fun because usually when I force them to talk about to shooting I'm on Eddie's head but since this is alternating half of it is on Eddie's and half of it is on Buck's and I think it's a cool to think about it from Buck's perspective so have a bit of it sokaoskas prev snippet

"You really don't remember anything about after you got shot?" He asks, frowning as he crosses his arms. The thought is unimaginable for Buck, actually. Not having every second after that gun went off burned into his memory.  He wishes he could forget.  The warm splatter on his face. The way Eddie went down before he fully realized what had happened. The look on his face across the pavement. His screams as he pulled him to safety. The color fading from his face. The broken are you hurt? that had haunted him because he wasn't sure if he would have noticed if he was hurt that day. How panicked his own voice sounded as he pretty much begged for him to hang on. The metallic taste of Eddie's blood in his mouth. 

no pressure tagging <3: @eddiebabygirldiaz @bucks118 @honestlydarkprincess @watchyourbuck @try-set-me-on-fire @housewifebuck @giddyupbuck

[prosperdemeter2]

I would love to know (if you are still up for it) the behind the scenes of deciding that Buck was going to be severely injured/near death in the car accident in day by day or an alternative perspective from maybe Chimney of the ride in the ambulance to the hospital (is this a way to get buck seizure whump maybe lol)?

This was actually a little deleted scene! 😂 sorry it ends so suddenly, that's sort of why it didn't end up being included 😅

It was always tense in the back of the ambulance - it was even more tense when it was one of their own. Head wounds were tricky, and treating them when they didn’t know the extent of them were even trickier. Thankfully, Chimney could say that he and Hen were one of the best teams in play, and Eddie was more than a little helpful too, even if he was mostly succeeding in keeping Buck awake more than doing anything to actually help treat what they could see. 

Buck had been scary at the site, he had been worse as they wheeled him back, and Chimney could say that he was immensely grateful that he was the only one of them to see just how bad he was when they got to the hospital. 

Chim hadn’t wanted to leave Eddie outside, but when his steps had faltered, his hand trailing off as Chim lead Buck towards the trauma team waiting to meet them at the doors, he hadn’t been able to turn around and tell him to come with them. He was thankful he hadn’t. He didn’t exactly want what happened next to be burned into his memory either. 

“Thirty-year-old male,” Hen explained. “Evan Buckley.” She went on to list his medications and blood type, the injuries they knew about and the ones they suspected and when a doctor shined a light into Buck’s eyes and noticed what Chimney suspected (one pupil much more dilated than the other), Chim felt him flinch back against the stretcher. He felt him fist a hand in his shirt and Chim should have pushed him off (he should have stayed back with Hen and gone outside to hustle Eddie in through where he was bound to be having a breakdown behind the glass doors) but… But this was Buck. This was his brother in everything but blood - he was Maddie’s. 

He had been alone, Chim knew, through so many medical experiences. If Buck didn’t know where he was, who he was, how could he answer the questions the doctors had or feel safe? “It’s okay, Buck,” Chim comforted as best as he could, reaching down to untangle Buck’s hand from his shirt. “You’re okay, buddy.” 

He wasn’t okay. 

Buck’s fist tightened, his wrist jerked, and he looked Chimney in the eye, expression clearer than it had even been when Chimney had first attended to him on the scene. “Something’s wrong.” He told Chimney in warning and his pulse, on the monitor, jumped. 

Seizures weren’t just spasms of the limbs like Hollywood made it seem. They were any contracting and relaxing of the muscles in quick succession. They were uncontrolled bursts of electric activity in the brain and electricity didn’t always act the same. Buck’s entire body tensed, his considerable muscle tugging Chimney down until he was hunched over him and the nurses and doctors around them swarmed. A nurse’s hand was steady on Chim’s back, her other planted firmly on his shoulder to keep him from falling forward and, tensely, they started to count. Tonic stage. His back arched off the table, a faint smell of urine filled the little area they had rolled into, his eyes rolled back and blinked and Chim… Chim ducked out of the way the moment his grip relaxed. Dropped to the floor and calmed his pounding heart and scrubbed a hand over his wet cheeks as Buck’s body switched, quickly, to the chronic stage. 

He jerked not with long, fluttering movements, but with smaller ones. Like Chimney had seen him do as he was falling asleep. There was more life to his limbs when he was trapped under the fire engine. Buck wasn’t even moving himself, Chimney knew that. His body was acting on its own accord. Chim scrambled away from the table, allowing a nurse to rush into his previous space as another tugged him up to standing. “Are you okay?” She asked in concern. 

Chimney nodded, although he didn’t have any words to say so, too busy counting in his own head along with anyone else. 

There was nothing they could do while the seizure happened but count. 

It was the longest hundred twenty seconds of Chimney’s life and Buck’s body slowly brought itself to a stop, his breathing hitched and then smoothed out and his limbs, Chimney knew from how his body relaxed them, were heavy. Buck’s head, bloody and matted, rolled to the side and Chimney wanted to rush to him. He wanted to check for himself - for all of them - that he was okay. Postictal stage.

But the doctors moved before he could. 

[matan4il]

Ok.. Alice's Choice time!! Mostly because I have a hard time choosing between a lot of your choice anons. But generally the two things below would be my favorite things to see if show runners gave us fan fiction rights...

1.... An episode purely dedicated to everyone's reactions about the Buddie of it all. Like S2 E1 having 2 random firefighters watching the gym scene like why is Buck flirting so hard, but also why is the new guy in a slutty tank top trying to bang him. Random other fire house encounter (picture them ready to go in and be heroes then Buddie walks up) and seriously everyone can't tell if they are dating. The Elf girl. Random shop owners. The zoo workers. Eddie's family gossiping when Buck visits trying to get tea from Peppa.....

Or....... an episode of them reacting to a Taylor Swift album. Or any songs of your choosing. I can picture Buck sobbing over Anti Hero while he holds Eddie together during Would've Could've Have Should've. But Alice's choice on the songs and album!!

Hi lovely Nonnie!

Ooooh, Alice's choice time, I love that title. XD Okay, so I think I would really like to see the first one. For one thing, I do like outsider POV. After all, I wrote several such humor fics, like Fuck Me Yourself, You Coward, which allowed Chim to live his best life as a gossip fan, or Play to Win, which has a character named Fanny, which stands for fandom, because she basically stands in for all of us, or Christopher Diaz's Three Stage Plan which plays out as a 'parent trap' type of story, but it allows us to view Buddie and their inevitability through their kid's eyes.

I think outsider POV is so good precisely for the reason I included Fanny above. Because it's very validating to get our own thoughts and perspectives represented within the story, someone articulating to the ship or around them exactly what we would like to say if we could. To have that in canon? Would be phenomenal. And I'm a music-o-holic, I do not pass up any musical stuff easily! But I think other than Buddie going canon, there's nothing I want more than the characters around them explicitly admitting that there is no ignoring what Buddie already have going on. What's crazy to me, is that in a sense, we already have a bit of that. Never forget that Maddie told Buck to his face that he has a crush on Eddie. She's amazing! And she's also canon proof that we're not crazy, seeing it.

Thank you for the fun challenge, have a great day! As always, here's my ask tag. xoxox

[wildlife4life]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by @exhuastedpigeon @spotsandsocks @devirnis @lover-of-mine @theotherbuckley @jesuisici33 and @daffi-990 Thank you! You are all so amazing and I can't wait for all your upcoming works!

Alrighty ya'll, I am super tired, and I literally just threw this snippet together, but it is part of the noted NFL Buck plan. Here is some more Buck perspective before coming to LA. (Everything NFL Buck can be found here!)

Somehow, he and Eddie went almost eight months without having the whole Buck not being out in public discussion. There had been some tossed away comments, 'I'm just your dirty little secret.' and 'What would the fans think if they knew pretty boy Buckley liked to suck cock?' and even 'Apparently you're the schools most eligible bachelor. If they only knew.' But no actual conversations. To Buck it was a hypocritical unspoken agreement between, him, Eddie, and the handful of people who did know. Let the world see Evan Buckley as the handsome, college football star, bachelor who isn't looking for true commitment with a woman at the moment. Once the door to it all is closed, he is Buck, bi-sexual college student who was deeply in love with a single father paramedic with the most amazing kid. The very man, who used to be so very deep in the closet and was still working through his well ingrained internalized homophobia, that Buck called him out on all those months. Buck shouted and cried and spewed out every part of his heartbreak. Each lash of pain he felt when Eddie failed to hide his disgust and panic at Buck's physical affection. The misery he pushed away each time the paramedic hesitated to return it. All the extra weight he took in his heart for Eddie because Buck could see how the ex-solider tore himself up by being with him while the internal voices of his upbringing raged within him about the wrongness of it. Then with one last ragged breath, Buck ended their lopsided two month relationship that was hurting them both. The break up was less than 24 hours, but Eddie came back with the commitment to be with Buck and to be better. Six months later and there Eddie was, still with the college quarterback, sharing his son and his life with him, and making an effort every day to be proud openly gay man. Eddie was being better. And yet, Eddie never once called Buck out on his unwillingness to be out himself or the effort the younger man puts into keeping their relationship a secret. It had Buck twisted in immense guilt and anxiety. He just kept waiting for the day Eddie would project all his own heartache and anger at Buck for being a hypocritical asshole. So far it hasn't happened and Buck spiraled further each day it didn't. Eventually, he broke, Buck always did when all the remorse and nerves became too heavy. He just wished the dam of emotional turmoil didn't burst while Eddie's mouth was inches away from Buck's half hard cock. And he really wished the end of his internal spiral didn't present itself with the statement, "I hate this."

Getting the mindset of a man who isn't closeted to those he trusts, but needs to be to the rest of the world. This will also be the set up into the agreement of their secret relationship that's been brought up in the past. Hope you all enjoyed!

Tagging (no pressure): @bekkachaos @diazsdimples @thewolvesof1998 @giddyupbuck @eddiebabygirldiaz @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @wikiangela @rainbow-nerdss @spaceprincessem @fortheloveofbuddie @athenagranted @eddiescowboy @evanbegins @elvensorceress @malewifediaz @911onabc @911-on-abc @loserdiaz @hoodie-buck @try-set-me-on-fire @ladydorian05 @bigfootsmom @watchyourbuck @thekristen999 @shortsighted-owl @spagheddiediaz @monsterrae1 @rogerzsteven @eowon @princessfbi @honestlydarkprincess @vampbuckley @bitchfacediaz @buck-coded @housewifebuck @glorious-spoon @buddierights @prosperdemeter2 @gayedmundodiaz @lemonzestywrites

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Hello there. You are one of my favourite blog on this website and I absolutely adore that you are 100% honest in every single ask.

So that's why I want your opinion.

I'm absolutely obsessed with the concept of "buck fell first, Eddie fell harder" and I was wondering what was your opinion about it. And if you agree, when do you think buck fell and how about Eddie. When he fell in love with buck.

Thank you and have a lovely day!

Nonnie Nonnie Nonnie!!!!!

That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me! I'm just over here doing my thing and it still baffles me that people want to read my ramblings! I do worry that my honesty can come of as a bit blunt but sugar coating things isn't my style 😬

my opinion on Buck fell first Eddie fell harder - I tend to agree - sometimes I flip flop a bit on it and its difficult to quantify why, but I always seem to come back to this opinion

The way I see it is that Buck saw Eddie and fell into Lust - only he doesn't know that thats what it is - he thinks that lust is actually envy and so he behaves like a brat. I also Buck has a competency kink but he doesn't really realise or know what to do with it and it manifests as jealousy. Then Eddie praises him and well we've known about Bucks need to be praised since the pilot episode. I think there may be a little bit of sexual attraction mixed in with it too, but I don't think thats necessarily new for Buck so he doesn't think anything of it (I maintain that Buck was attempting to flirt with the guy at the bar in Peru and stopped when the guy started checking out the girl!) and he has to work with the guy and after being fired for sex on the job - a job he really cares about, loves and that makes him feel like he's finally found his place in the world - he's not going to risk that for anything.

The thing is though Buck doesn't really know or understand his feelings and what his different feelings actually are. I've always read him as someone who's had temporary friendships and we know he hadn't had a long term relationship before Abby and h'e never had a stable loving family/ home life beyond what Maddie could give him and she was a child herself so even that, by its very nature was limited and naïve (and that is nothing against Maddie - she is incredible and did an amazing job - one that wasn't hers to do and one that essentially robbed her of her childhood). 

Basically what I'm trying to say is that Buck takes all these feelings he has and thinks that they must be what friendship is supposed to be - he has no prior experience to draw from - he's essentially been in transition his entire life and this is the longest he's stayed in one place, one job and with one set of people. Even his relationship with Abby is warped and has skewed his perspective on the differences between the types of love - romantic, sexual attraction, platonic/friendship and 'parental' because Abby existed in all of those categories. This means though that  Buck doesn't have a good template for any type of relationship at the point when he meets Eddie - they're all mixed up and confused and he is still clinging to the idea of Abby as romantic love and Eddie has Shannon so therefore anything he's feeling for Eddie is just platonic best bro's right?!! 

I don't think Buck starts to grasp that his and Eddies relationship is vastly different from a normal friendship and in fact is very much soulmate shaped until season 4 and even then I don't think he's actually comprehending that its real true deep abiding love - I think that he thinks they just have a deep friendship and Buck will never do anything to jeopardise that because for him the lawsuit and Eddie getting into fighting is still very much fresh in his memory. Then Ana comes along and Buck puts himself back out into the dating pool because and once again confuses sexual attraction with romantic attraction and builds this thing with Taylor that he’s finding is unsatisfying but Buck being the person he is -  he’s never had to do the leaving before and doesn’t want to hurt anyone the way he’s been hurt.

Buck wants a family - its what he's been searching for in all the wrong places and then stumbled into building one with his best friend and because Buck has no point of reference, he’s been incredibly slow on the uptake of what he’s built. I actually don’t think we’ve hit full Buck realisation yet and I don’t think we’ll get it until after he breaks up with Taylor - because he’s still clinging and so my feeling is that, in the lead up to the break up we’ll see Buck realising what it is he wants in a partner and relationship and that Taylor isn’t it, I don’t think it will begin to dawn on him that those things he wants are things he already has because thinking ‘I want someone like Eddie’ is no the same as thinking ‘I want Eddie.’ So I think it’s only when he clears out the emotional baggage that comes from him always being left and then having to do the leaving - that will be the moment that he truly realises that what he wanted in abstract form is what he already has, he just needs to take the next step in because its building on what he already helped build.

Then we have Eddie. Eddie who is so repressed that he’s been literally turning himself inside out trying to deny what he knows. When he first meets Buck, he’s still very much hung up on Shannon and having a wife and somehow trying to get back the thing that made him ‘fit’ into societies expectations - because he can’t be gay if he has a wife - right! Everything with Shannon is so complicated and he is confused and also still dealing with his army trauma (or rather he’s busy dealing with not dealing with his army related trauma) and because Buck is still hung up on Abby - it is very easy for Eddie to just add anything he’s feeling to the repression pile. But then Shannon dies and the Tsunami happens and Eddie is overwhelmed so that love spills out a little bit - ‘there’s no one I trust more with my son’  but its okay because its in relation to Chris so he can play it off as that, but he needs to make sure he gets a better grip on it all and thus we end up in fight club land - because he let a tiny bit of his love for Buck escape and that’s not okay because Shannon just died so he’s confused and then Buck decides a lawsuit is a good idea and Eddie can’t talk to him - this person he has come to trust and Eddie is not in control so we see the physical manifestation of the internal demons he’s fighting. 

Once Eddie has a better grip on all the guilt etc he’s feeling over Shannon, he’s in a better position to keep a handle on his feelings in general. Of course he doesn’t have total control on them - we still get the heart eyes etc. And of course there is the will of it all - Eddie can allow himself this one luxury because he can play it off as not about him - its about Christopher and also its something he can keep secret - its something he can do that he never has to tell another person - including the person he’s done it for and about. 

Eddie Changing his will is both Eddie battening down the hatches and also Eddie giving his love wings - only the love install confined to a cage - he thinks that by giving it a defined space in which to exist he won’t have to take it any further. I personally think Buck begins was a bit of a  uhh moment for Eddie - because he wanted to step in and come to Bucks aid - it was a moment when the truth could’ve come spilling out and Eddie repression cannot have that - so the very next episode - we get the Ana of it all - Eddie jumps into something that will allow him to keep repressing in a more publicly visual way - because he can’t be accused of being in love with his best friend by anyone (especially his family) if he has a girlfriend - so Ana becomes a new front for him to hide behind, and it works for a bit, but then he gets shot and Buck does exactly what Eddie would’ve wanted - he takes care of Chris but he also opens himself up - shows Eddie that Eddie needs to do something to reassure Buck of what he has, that he is loved, even if he can’t say it out loud. So he reveals the will - the biggest love confession he can give without it being a love confession and without risking very much.

There is a part of me that thinks that if Buck hadn’t started up with Taylor, then the thing with Ana would’ve probably ended much sooner than it did, because I think that Eddie might’ve actually been in a place to start talking about things a bit more openly as a result of the shooting, but then Taylor was there so Eddie shut up shop again and added the shooting to that small storage locker of trauma he has. Doing that though wasn’t a good idea - because he is now bursting at the seams and things have got to give so the panic attacks start - Eddie being Eddie - repressing everything probably thinks to himself - after Bucks advice - well if I get rid of this one thing that is taking up a lot of my energy - Ana and the pretending it requires - then I can get everything else under control. Only he can’t because Ana was the top of a slippery slope and Eddie was gathering speed. I’m mixing metaphors, but once those locker doors were opened to let out the Ana of it all, it gave room for everything else to surge forward - flooding out one after the other - until the thing at the back  that first trauma is able to escape - and that is more or less where we are now and Why Eddie has to go back to Texas. Of course Eddies love for Buck is not a trauma, it is the spark of hope that is currently giving him the ability to tentatively make his way through the trauma that is filling his world with dark - its a spark that is growing stronger and stronger and it is what he is coming to realise will give him the strength to deal with things and start over. He is accepting what he already knew -that he loves buck but now he is realising just how deep his love for Buck actually goes, and actually that that love is so strong that he’s no longer prepared to live the half life he’s been living. 

So yes Eddie fell harder but Buck will catch him up before too long - he just has some more of his own trauma to process first and that starts with him ending things with Taylor - because in some ways Taylor is Ana - the convenient front he’s hiding behind that is allowing Buck to not deal with his actual issues!

I have no idea how I ended up writing this mammoth essay!!! Hope you found it interesting Nonnie and that it answers the question in the most long winded way possible!!

[favefandomimagines]

Oh (e.b.)

Summary: buck runs into his ex fling, taylor kelly, leaving you to feel like nothing but a second choice

AN: inspired by the winter finale of 911

You were a catch. You were smart, had a good job, beautiful. Guys were lining up to date you and yet the man you wanted to be with didn’t want you.

It seemed to everyone around you that the two of you were meant to be but to Buck, it wasn’t that obvious. He didn’t see how you looked at him, didn’t hear how you talked about him. Clearly, he didn’t know how you felt about him.

So, you stuck it out. You put your feelings on the back burner and just decided to be his friend. If he wanted to be with you, he would.

But you couldn’t ignore the feeling in your chest when he told you he was having dinner with Taylor Kelly.

“We got to talking at that call and then Albert said him and Veronica were having dinner and I just, called and asked if she wanted to come.” Buck explained. “And she said yes?” You asked.

“Yeah, she seemed on board. Maybe this is the universe telling me something.” He said. “The universe? You’ve never believed in that stuff.” You told him. “But this is Buck 3.0. I’m all for a change.” Buck answered. “When is this dinner again?” You asked. “Wednesday at 6.” He said. 

“Oh.” You muttered quietly. Wednesday was your birthday. And it seemed that Buck was caught up in bettering himself and finding someone that he had completely forgotten about you. But you had enough trying to remind him and get him to see that you were right there the whole time. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you looked at the mug in your hands. “You okay?” He asked. “Uh, yeah. I think I’m gonna head home. I have a long shift tomorrow.” You said, rising from your seat.

“You just got here.” Buck pointed out. “Buck, I just, I gotta go.” You said in a more stern manner. He looked at you with furrowed eyebrows and watched you leave his apartment.

You let out a large sigh as you got in your car before the tears came.

How were you so unlucky that the guy you were head over heels for, wanted someone else? He wanted someone else so much, he forgot about her birthday. When you were right there through everything? You were there through Abby leaving, Ally breaking up with him, the lawsuit against the department, his parents, everything. And yet you were left on the back burner. 

You always put his feelings above your own, not because you felt like you should. But because you cared about him and if he was happy, you were happy. Though, the more you thought about it, the more you realized that he sometimes didn’t give you that same courtesy. 

Your day was like the day from hell. Everything that could go wrong in your line of work, went completely wrong. To make matters worse, you had lost one of your favorite patients. She had stage 3 leukemia but she never let that change her personality. 

She made going to the hospital after shifts worth while because at least you got to spend time with her. But the cancer was too aggressive for the chemo and she died in her sleep that night. You tried not to let losses get to you but she had been your patient since you started volunteering at the hospital. You were really hoping you’d see her remission but the universe had other plans. 

All you wanted to do was lay on the couch with Buck and just cry. You got in your car and dialed his number, getting a few rings before he picked up. “Hey, you!” He greeted you. “Hey, do you maybe want to come over later? I’ve had the worst day. I lost a patient and-” You started before he cut you off. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I can’t. I have a date tonight, trying to put myself back out there.” He said. “I can come over after.” He added. “No, forget it. It’s fine.” You said. “You sound upset.” Buck said. “I’m fine, Buck. Enjoy your date.” You replied before hanging up the phone. 

Since that evening, you had been avoiding Buck like the plague. On shifts, you wouldn’t talk to him. Sticking to Chimney and Hen like glue to avoid any conversation with Buck. 

You went so far to ask to ride in the ambulance to calls, rather than in the fire engine like usual. It wasn’t odd for you to be in the ambulance because you were an EMT but you usually rode with the rest of the team.

“Does anyone know why Y/N won’t ride with us anymore?” Buck asked his crew. “Are you that dumb?” Hen asked. “Hen,” Bobby started. “It’s because of you, dude.” Eddie answered. “Me? What did I do?” Buck questioned. “Well, you blow her off all the time, completely ignore her feelings and ditch her for dates and you’re so oblivious you can’t see that she’s totally in love with you.” Eddie explained. “When you were hurt in the hospital, she didn’t come to work for days because she didn’t want you the throw a clot. She had to work triple shifts just to make enough to pay her rent because of all the days she missed sitting with you. Did you ever thank her for that?” Bobby added. “Well, no, but-” He started. 

“And when she lost her favorite patient, Emily, did you ask her if she was okay?” Bobby asked. “I-I couldn’t I had a date. And she didn’t say it was Emily.” Buck said, trying to defend yourself. “If you don’t reciprocate her feelings, that’s fine. But she’s your best friend. And as her best friend, you are supposed to be there when she needs you. She shouldn’t have to explain herself.” Bobby concluded. “You also forgot her birthday.” Chimney added as they all got out of the engine. 

The rest of his shift, Buck tried getting you to talk to him. But it was always, ‘I’m busy, Buck’ or ‘Can’t talk, we’re working.’ He’d given up when he tried to stop you after a call and you had given him a look he had never seen before. 

The guilt was eating him alive. He was a terrible friend to you and he thought being with you was a pipe dream. Until Hen and Eddie told him you loved him. But regardless of your feelings for him, you had done so much for him and he didn’t realize it until you were gone. 

That night, Buck went over to Taylor’s to gain more perspective on what he could do to fix what he royally screwed up. 

“I don’t know what to do. She hasn’t talked to me in weeks. We’ve never gone this long without talking.” Buck explained to Taylor.

“Well, you did forget her birthday. And not give it a second thought that she was hurting over the loss of a patient.” She said. “That’s not helping.” He replied. “You asked for my help and I’m being honest. You really hurt her. She almost got evicted because she was so worried about you. The first person she wanted to be with after her friend died was you and you went on a date instead.” Taylor said. “I know. I tried to talk to her but she won’t answer any of my calls or texts. She won’t even look at me anymore.” Buck said. 

“You are so stupid sometimes.” Taylor laughed. “What?” Buck asked. “She has feelings for you. Why else would she get so upset? If she only saw you as a friend, you would be getting screamed at not avoided.” She explained.

“Everyone keeps saying that but there’s no way Y/N has feelings for me. She’s...perfect. Perfect doesn’t fall for damaged goods.” Buck rebutted. “Trust me, she loves you.” Taylor told him. “And do you love her?” She asked. “Of course I do. But being with her seemed like it was too good to happen so I tried to move on. I guess I tried so hard I ended up hurting her anyways.” Buck answered. 

“Then tell her. And do a whole lot of graveling while you’re at it.” Taylor said. 

Buck quickly left the apartment and got into his car driving like a bat out of hell. When he arrived at your apartment, he didn't even bother to park in the parking stall correctly, his main focus was just getting to you.

When he finally reached your door, he knocked on it rather harshly and heard the sound of your urgent footsteps coming to find out who it was.

"Buck? What are you doing here?" You asked. Buck couldn't even find the words to answer because he was more focused on what you were wearing.

You had on a formed fitting red dress, your hair was curled and flowing over your shoulders and you looked beautiful.

"Wh-Why are you dressed like that?" He stammered. "I have a date." You answered. "You have a date? With who?" Buck asked. "Emily's brother. We became close when Emily had chemo and after she died we kept in tough. Why are you here?" You questioned.

"Don't go on the date. Please, for the love of god, don't go on that date. Because I love you, Y/N. I was too stupid to see it until you weren't around anymore. And I was terrible to you. I was supposed to be your best friend and I was so worried about my own life I dnd't even ask you how you were doing and oh my god I missed your birthday." Buck rambled.

"Slow down, Buckley, and talk to me at a normal rate, please." You said.

Buck took a deep breath and looked at you intently. "I'm in love with you. I-I always have but being with you always seemed like a pipe dream because you're perfect. You have always been perfect and you know that I'm not." Buck explained.

"Exactly. I've seen you at your worst and I still love you but even as your best friend you never gave me the time of day. Missing my birthday to go to dinner with Taylor Kelly. Brushing me off after Emily died because you had a date." You laughed bitterly. "I have stood by you no matter what. But god forbid I need you once in a while." You added.

"And I am so sorry, Y/N. You have every right to be upset with me, I'm upset with me. I'm pissed off at myself because I didn't realize what I had until it was too late." Buck replied. "Evan, do you understand the situation you just put me in? I get to go on a date with a great guy, one who actually pays attention and then the man I've been in love with for years, shows up at my doorstep to tell me he loves me back." You started.

Buck's facial expression fell, fearing the worst and anticipating you telling him that you'd moved on and he was too late.

"And I have to call that guy and tell him that I can't make it. Because the person I actually want to be with is right here." You finished.

The light in Buck's eyes returned at your words, looking at you with a gentle smile.

"Really?" He asked. "Yes, really and please don't make me regret it. You've screwed up a lot lately, let's not add us to the list." You said. "So there's an us now?" Buck questioned. "I-If that's okay with you." You stuttered. "It's absolutely okay with me." Buck said with a smile.

"I guess I got all dressed up for nothing." You sighed, letting Buck inside your apartment.

Buck was quiet for a moment as he watched you take your heels off and your earrings, placing them on the table by the door. "Then let's not make it for nothing. Let me take you out on our first official date." He said.

"Besides, I need to see you in that dress more often." He added a smirk on his face. "Alright then, Buckley. Take me on a date. You have a lot to make up for." You smiled, offering him your hand.

Buck took your hand in his, happily, and held you steady as you put your shoes back on. “Trust me, Y/N, it’ll be the best date you’ve ever been on.” He said. 

In the moment, you laughed at his words but after the date had concluded and all was said and done, it had indeed been the best date you have ever been on. 

[fraddit]

Here we are! The last ten fics in my five part rec list! Again, there's no rhyme or reason to this list, these are just like the title says, buddie fics that make my brain go !!!

Since I started this series, I've obviously been reading more fics. So, I'll probably just continue adding posts periodically. Anyway, I hope you enjoy these fics as much as I did.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

the heart beat so loud, we could not ignore by wonderfool (T, 14k)

Post 4x06/4x07, speculation for 4x08 “Change can be scary,” Buck says, “but we want your dad to be happy. Adults can get lonely too sometimes. He has a lot of friends at work, but he might be looking for someone who…can be a partner. Someone who worries about him and supports him when he’s feeling sad. Someone who loves him.” “But he already has you.”

the kiln-blaze in my body by lamardeuse (E, 17k)

It’s nearly six months before Buck tells anyone.

This is one of very favorite post shooting fics.

this life that we’ve created (or: how silvia rodriguez learned to believe in fairytales again) by @evcndiaz (T, 3k)

“So, just to be clear: You want to make a—” she glances down at her papers, “—Mr. Evan Buckley your son Christopher Diaz’s guardian in the event of your untimely death.” “Yes, that is correct.” “And you… don’t want to tell him about it?” “Eh,” he says. Eh, like he’s not breaking Silvia’s brain. “I’m sure I’ll tell him eventually.” or; eddie makes buck christopher’s legal guardian told from his lawyer’s perspective. because why not

Those Two Firefighters by DarkFairytale (T, 35k)

#thosetwofirefighters starts to gather a following on social media, as everyone tries to figure out if those two cute firefighters from the 118 in LA are a thing or not.

to keep still holy (your kiss upon my mouth) by @oatflatwhite (T, word count varies)

A collection of kiss prompt ficlets from tumblr.

What it says on the tin, and they're all great, but the one I’m specifically recommending is Chapter 9: “we shouldn’t do this” but they do so, anyway. (1.4k)

Two Minutes For Roughing by ok_thanks (M, 11k)

They trade for a winger after Buck’s second season. When he walks into the dressing room a few days later, Buck freezes in his place. Chim and Bobby are huddled in the corner, openly staring from their stalls. “Who the hell is that?” Bobby simply shrugs. “Eddie Diaz. New winger out of Dallas.” or: the hockey AU that literally NO ONE asked for

wherever we’re together, that’s my home by @woodchoc-magnum (M, 19k)

Set post-5x06 “Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1”, in which Buck is struggling and unwilling to let anyone in (until Eddie takes matters into his own hands).

Wide Awake (Better Not Fuck This Up) by riverlight (T, 3k)

“Eddie,” Buck says, voice cracking a little. “Eddie. Are we gonna talk about the fact that you kissed me, or are we still ignoring that?”

you touch me once and it’s really something by @nogamediaz (G, 2k)

Alarm washes over Buck’s features. “Eddie, I think she saw me. She’s coming over here.” Later, Eddie is going to wonder what on earth possessed him to do it, but in the moment he is seized with sudden clarity. “Do you trust me?” he asks, looking Buck directly in the eye. “What—of course—” Buck doesn’t get to finish his sentence, because Eddie cuts him off with a kiss.

Your Fingerprints Smeared on My Heart (Lead Me Back to You) by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (E, 89k)

In 1880, Evan Buckley of the arriviste set is sent out west to oversee his family’s railroad and recover from a broken heart - and meets Eddie Diaz, cowboy. When fate tears them apart, they make a promise: find each other again. In 2018, Buck walks into his fire station in Los Angeles - and meets Eddie Diaz, new recruit.

It took me so long to post this last part that this fic went from wip to complete. But, every time this fic updated, I stopped what I was doing to read the new chapter. The premise is basically a trap designed specifically for me and it was just as good as I was afraid it would be.