meanwhile classes are going great!!! i'm learning to hack websites and shit. who ever thought this would be a good idea for someone like me hahaha :D
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I'm currently doing a sleep diary that I can take to my doctor, so I can point to it and go "look! I absolutely have insomnia, look at how terribly I sleep!!"
And the thing is. It's just. I've always known that I have bad sleep days, you know? But the thing with ADD is that I can't remember. So I'll be living life, going yeah, I slept badly yesterday, but I'm sure today will be better!! And not remembering that the day before that was just as bad, and so was the day before that.
I'm just so angry sometimes. I'm almost 30! And just now, just this year, am I figuring out that I have insomnia, because I literally could not remember enough to know I had it before I started developing coping mechanisms.
How many more things will I have to learn about myself, that could've been fixed, if I'd gotten help earlier?
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I cannot wait for Aziraphale and Crowley’s season 3 blowout
Crowley screaming at Aziraphale that he gets it. He gets that they couldn’t be forever. Aziraphale could never truly want him while he’s still demonic and dirty. Hereditary enemies. So be it. He understands, he just wishes he figured it out earlier
Aziraphale screaming back at Crowley that he’s made it clear he could never love anything more than he hates Heaven. And Aziraphale is Heaven so how could he ever stand to be with him? He understands, Crowley is what he is and Aziraphale can’t ask for more. He just didn’t think he was
And that declaration strikes them with agonized horror, and at first it’s just more anger. How dare you believe that? How dare you think so low of me? If you think that then you never knew me.
But they can’t keep it up. That anger, slowly starts to give way to reveal the heartbreak underneath. No less painful then the day they separated. They can’t keep the walls up anymore, they don’t have the strength
You are the best of us, Aziraphale begins. Yet heaven failed you and hell hunted you and the thought that either might hurt you. I couldn’t stand it. I still can’t stand it. I thought I could make Heaven the place that saw you for what you are. I wanted you to be safe.
Me? Says Crowley. Ten million angels up there and if god took them and mashed them all together what ever paragon it made still wouldn’t be worth you. Heaven couldn’t deserve you. And you certainly deserved better than their cage for eternity. I thought that could be me. I wanted you to be free.
They look at the other as the reality of what they both failed to understand settles in.
I wanted to build you a world
I wanted to give you the world
I never needed that, they tell the other. I had you.
You are my world.
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f!reader | thinkin abt this hc, but katsuki is roommates with denki. katsuki is pretty sure he’s heard denki’s girl cum more and harder than any girl he’s ever been with in his life. he’d never want to say it, but he’s questioning his sexual abilities with every passing orgasm, and he audibly witnesses a lot of them. sure, you always cum when he’s intimate with you - at least twice every time, he makes sure of it. but he’s never turned you into a complete mess like denki’s girl is every time they fuck or whatever it is they do.
so one day, katsuki finally bucks up the courage to say something to his best friend and admits he might want to do better with you in bed. denki is a little surprised and embarrassed; he never expected katsuki to be the one asking him for sex advice. he’d just taken the time to figure out what works for him and assumed that if anything, the roles might be reversed.
they talk, denki shares a little bit of what he does and eventually asks katsuki, “dude, when was the last time you slowed down and took your time?”
denki realizes the answer is probably never when katsuki spits back a defensive, “whadda ya mean?”
so he explains in more detail. katsuki takes mental notes.
・˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆・˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆・˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆
the next time katsuki’s got you in his bed, something is different. he’s a little too soft and a little too slow for your preference as he goes in for a kiss, so you pull him deeper. but he’s still got a measured pace, the way his hands are firm and trace your body like he means it. with him, sex is overwhelming and all consuming. it’s hard and fast and raw. but not today.
there’s a hint of impatience in his movements, but he stops himself; he spends extra time caressing your face, in the crook of your neck, mapping out every little spot that makes your breath catch just a hair or your fingers curl a little tighter and committing it better to memory. then his tongue is in your mouth, and he’s groping you over your clothes. a small whimper leaves your lips as you try to shift and get your legs around his waist, but he doesn’t let you.
realization hits when katsuki stops to look you in the eye. your cheeks are flushed hard, and it’s almost difficult to look back with how much heat is radiating between your legs. usually by now he’s got you half naked and grinding, or his hand is deep in your cunt. a twinkle lights his eyes, a boyish grin on his face. you pull him into you, pushing your face into his neck with a shyness you hadn’t felt with him in a long time.
“what?”
you shake your head and kiss his neck, taking in the warmth of his skin and the way he sighs into your touch.
“need somethin?” he teases. his hand runs down your torso to grip your hip. the same hand slides under the fabric of your shirt to caress your side.
“no,” you reply quietly. “you’re usually a bit more… fast paced. that’s all.”
his lips are grazing your neck, his tone low and playful. “yeah. i’m tryin somethin new. got a problem with it?”
he’s kissing you neck again before you can respond, sucking and licking faint marks into a tender spot on your skin.
your breath catches. “n-no, not at all.”
“good.” katsuki puts his muscular thigh between your own and presses it to the damp heat of your cotton shorts.
a small whimper escapes your throat.
“now be a good girl n' grind on me, princess.”
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