#one of the things acknowledged by this in that time was that she was a women ahead of her time

[ashwhowrites]

I know I sent in a request a few days ago, but that one was pretty long so I figured I'd also throw in a shorter request while they're still open: smutty Older!Simp!Eddie x reader in which they are basically the Gomez and Morticia of the Stranger Things universe. No plot, just Eddie and the reader being disgustingly (said with affection) OBSESSED with each other.

FUCKING LOVE THE ADDAMS FAMILY. HAVE A TATTOO TO PROVE IT

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Gomez and Morticia

Eddie had a few girlfriends in the past, and well they ended badly. All of Eddie's friends can agree that he was not boyfriend material. He kept to himself and often forgot a relationship takes a lot of work and sacrifice. It was his way or no way.

But then he graduated and became more grown-up. And he fell in love. He fell in love hard.

Her name was Y/N, Eddie met her at a concert. She was dressed to impress with her short shorts and high black boots. Her makeup was angelic and sharp enough to cut him, and he loved it. He loved how she captivated him the whole show. The band faded to nothing as he watched her dance and sing along. He swore he had never seen anything so gorgeous in his life.

She was just as smitten with him. Her claws were always dug into his skin. They were never separated, hand in hand wherever they went. She adored his long hair and how it felt against her skin. She felt breathless whenever she looked at him. The way he dressed, the way he smelled, and the way his voice sounded. Everything about him she was helplessly in love with.

It was impossible to turn either of their heads. They were both young and attractive, and people noticed that. Girls ran after Eddie like a damn ice cream truck. With their small tops and long lashes. They bounced up to their table, ignoring Y/N as she looked unbothered. Neither she nor Eddie acknowledged they were there. Their advances were simply not heard as Eddie stared at the way Y/N licked her ice cream cone. His melting in the small bowl, untouched. Y/N looked up and made eye contact with Eddie, the tease she was she slowly licked the ice cream and swirled her tongue. Her insides burned as he growled. He grabbed her cone and threw it on the table, with no care for the ice cream that now was smashed against the table. He grabbed her hand, and she smirked as he raced them to the nearest bathroom.

If any guy had the nerve to walk up to Y/N, he was quick to regret it. Eddie's deep glare and loud snarl. Eddie gave them a warning to run, if they didn't listen that was their problem. Eddie had no problem decking anyone in the face for coming near what was it. Then of course Y/N would be turned on by his possessiveness. And they would find the nearest place to hook up.

If anyone wanted to have a conversation with one of them, it was nearly impossible. Robin lost count of how many times Eddie would steal Y/N's attention and it would never return. Steve gave up on talking to either of them, he knew he stood no chance.

No one ever experienced a relationship like this. A couple that is so in love with each other, that never fight and would do anything for the other. They would die for each other and no one questioned it.

Eddie worshipped her like the queen she was. He lived to please her and happily do anything she asked. She was on the highest pedestal in his eyes and that's where she belonged.

They belonged together and only together.

~~~

"How was your day?" Eddie asked, his lips leaving kisses down Y/N's neck. She sighed at the feeling, the tension in her body from the day melting away with every kiss.

She dropped her head to the side, giving him more room as he nuzzled against her neck. His teeth lightly bit into her skin.

"Tiring. I hate work." She moaned out, she could feel his head body sitting behind her. The comfy bed underneath them.

"Yeah? I hate work too. Why don't you lay down and I'll help you out." His whispers were setting her body on fire. Her thighs clenched as she panted.

She stood up, slipping out of his grip. His eyes were on her, obviously. He licked his lips as she stripped down, her naked skin calling to him as he dropped off the bed and onto his knees.

He kissed her knees, then up her thighs. His soft lips kissed every inch of her skin as he made his way up to his feet, landing a kiss on her lips. As he kissed her, he turned them around and softly landed them on the bed.

The kiss grew hungrier as Eddie's hands grazed her skin, moving his body in between her thighs. He swallowed her moans and shivered as she tugged on his hair.

She whined as he pulled away, but was satisfied when he kissed back down her body. He whispered compliments against her skin, everything he loved about her falling from his lips as he landed on his knees again.

He grabbed her legs and put them on his shoulders, dragging her body to the very edge of the bed. She propped herself on her elbows as she looked down at him.

His dark eyes eating her...as well as his mouth

She arched her back once his tongue touched her aching clit. The simple touch had her shivering and gripping the sheets. All the aches from the day washed away as his tongue swirled in circles.

She barely made a sound, just cracks from her throat as she dropped against the mattress. Her hands moved to his hair as she greedily moved her hips. Eddie always obeyed, leaving his hands behind him as he let her ride his tongue. His eyes open as he watched her rock against his mouth, she was enchanting in every which way.

"Eddie?" she panted, softly tugging his head to get his attention

"Yes, love?"

"make love to me" she moaned

Eddie smiled like a man who won the lottery. Stripping out of his clothes and eagerly laying on the bed. She climbed on top of him, sinking her wet cunt onto his hard cock. He moaned the second she was around him.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, lips on her chest as she began to bounce on him. Her arms wrapped around his neck, their bodies pressed against one another. Not even room for air between them. His tongue teased her nipples, and she shivered against him as she rode him faster.

She rolled her hips in the way he loved. Watching with bliss as he let go of her nipple to moan out. His head was thrown back as he let all his sounds go. She leaned forward and used her tongue to lick up his neck and into his mouth.

The sound of their heavy breathing and skin connecting echoed around the room. Her hands were flat on his shoulders as she used the leverage to feel him deeper.

She released the kiss as she felt herself getting close. His hands on her ass as he helped her move her hips.

"Fuck Eddie yes" she moaned

Eddie growled like an animal as he lay back, bringing her body with his. Her chest was flat against his as he used the new position to fuck his hips up into her. The feeling made her eyes roll in the back of her head. Her forehead pressed against his as she looked into his eyes.

"Cum for me, baby. Want that pretty pussy to cum." He said, his eyes staring into hers as she nodded.

She bit her lip as she concentrated, the feeling in her stomach burned and burned then it snapped.

"EDDIEEEE" she screamed as she felt herself cum all over him. Her whines and moans hit his lips as he watched her fall apart for him

"God, I love you," he said before he smashed his lips onto hers.

She cupped his face and slowed down her hips. But she kept moving to help him chase his orgasm. He pulled back from the kiss as he felt the need to cum. Her hands stayed on his face as she smirked and raised her eyebrows. She had so much power over him, she knew the way his body felt when he approached an orgasm.

He moaned as he kept his eyes on hers as he emptied himself inside of her. He loved how she already knew everything to do. She moved her hips to help him ride it out before gently lifting herself off of him.

But she stayed on his lap as he gently kissed her face

They belonged to each other

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlx @ineedmentalhelp123

[rosemarydisaster]

Cassandra Cain is so funny to me and I think she's under utilized because people like to make the robin they like the coolest one ever and Don't know how to incorporate a character that:

Knows how to read people and fight better than Nightwing

Has died way more times than Jason and takes it better

Figured out the bats identities faster than Tim

Has a really fucked up father like Steph, literally wasn't allowed to communicate

Assassin mother, trained to kill, and struggles to talk normally with people like damian

I feel like if people stop viewing characters as a competition for who can be the poorest mew mew or the coolest baddest bitch we would get way more interesting dynamics with the Batfam. I used Cass as an example because she and Duke are the most overlooked (wonder why), but honestly you could make this list with any batkid if you wanted. The thing about having a canon in which each one has their individual series at some point but also take up big chunks of the Batman run is that they're all the main character.

I'm not yucking your yum if you just want to wax poetically about how [insert name] had it the worst or their angst is just so Chef's kiss to you. I love those fics, I'm a sucker for them even if they're out of character. If DC can't keep their characters consistent fans are allowed to make up even sadder scenarios for them. By all means, make the Drakes abusive, make Batman an even shittier father, ignore other batfam if that's what you want to write, fan spaces are for that.

I'm just saying I would also really like a fic that takes into account how different DC writers trying to make their favorite robin the coolest/saddest/most interesting one leads to all of them being a force to reckon with. I really liked How Far Love Goes by Beatrice Eagle. It actually tries to manage most of the Batfam at the same time giving them equal weight which is something not even DC tries.

I think that's it, I kinda want to acknowledge how having the Batfam together is the single most unbalanced chaotic shit that could happen. Especially considering their personal issues and how they intersect with each other and Batman. If you think about it any given character in the family has fucked over at least two of the others and has been fucked over by some of them and it's besties with the rest. DC are cowards.

[k3n-dyll]

how about when things start to get spicy with sevika and she finds out it's readers first time

This got longer than I thought it would lol, but I wound up making her kinda soft in this one. The world needs more soft Sev content.

☆Men, minors and ageless DNI

Warnings... 18+, wlw, not proofread, established new relationship, fingering (r!receiving), oral (r!receiving), domtop!Sevika, virgin!reader, fem!reader, AFAB reader, praise, no specific physical descriptions but reader is implied to have plush hips for like a second Word Count: 1.5k | Masterlist. | Divider Creds | Links 4 Palestine

Notes ☆ This one's been in my drafts for months I'm so sorry. I kinda rushed the ending (it's past my bedtime) and I've been hating my writing recently so a reminder that (constructive) feedback is much appreciated

"Baby...you okay?"

Sevika's voice echoes through your mind, drawing you out of your thoughts, her hands now lightly trailing from where they'd once been underneath your shirt to rest on your hips. She looks a bit concerned, her head cocked to the side as she looks up at you from where you're perched on her lap. The rigidity of your spine hadn't gone unnoticed by her, her plump lips retracting from your neck, sharp, silver eyes narrowing at the sudden show of unease in your body.

You had kissed before, briefly. It wasn't like the contact was something new, it was simply elevated. A nice, home-cooked dinner and a few glasses of expensive red wine she'd smuggled from Piltover had wound up with you in her lap, straddling her thighs as your lips crashed together in an almost desperate make-out session, her hands gripping and fondling your body in a way you'd never felt before. You'd convinced yourself that you were fine, confident even. But as her kisses turned into licks and bites along your neck, her hands traveling upward into the thin cloth of your blouse something in you snapped. It's entirely irrational, and yet you can't control it asyour mind suddenly rushes with thoughts of every single way you could fuck up in the moment and do something that would make her want to stop. Something that would make her not want to be with you anymore.

"Baby" she repeats herself, her flesh hand giving a gentle squeeze to the plush of your hip, wanting you to speak to her.

Your eyes cast down in slight embarrassment at being detected so easily in your nervousness, giving her a small smile and dismissively waving your hand in an attempt to downplay your tension, you speak.

"Sorry, babe. I'm okay" You murmur, leaning in to kiss her again, which, for a moment, she allows, but if there's one thing about Sevika it's that she isn't going to let it go. Not when you're still so stiff in her arms.

"What is it?" she demands, once again breaking the kiss and moving her head back a bit in order to look you in the eye. You let out a sigh, not having expected this to make you as anxious as it did.

"I just...I haven't really...done this before" You admit after a bit of quiet.

That admission gives her pause, a flicker of surprise crossing her features before she lets out a soft hum in acknowledgment. Despite her urges, and the sticky pool of arousal that's already formed in her panties, the last thing she wants to do is have you uncomfortable.

"D'you want me to stop?" she questions, her hands already loosening their grip on you. Before she can fully move them away though, you wrap your hands around her forearms, still craving for her touch regardless of your internal conflict. You shake your head quickly in response.

"No, no, I don't want...I don't want you to stop, I'm just nervous is all"

"Nervous?" she asks, now admittedly more worried.

"I just don't wanna fuck up" The words come out quickly as you see Sevika's eyebrows knit together, not wanting her to think your reservations are her fault. To your shock, she just chuckles at your response, shaking her head before pressing a soft peck to your lips. "You aren't going to fuck up, baby." Her voice coming out as more of a calming purr rather than the concerned tone she'd had a moment ago, using her mech hand to pull you further up onto her lap. "Just let me take care of you, yeah?"

You nod, and without warning she stands up, arms hooked under your thighs.

"What're you doing?"

"Well, I don't want your first time to be on that banged-up old couch" she mutters, continuing to pepper kisses along your neck as she walks you to her bedroom.

Sevika's never really been one for tenderness. And the idea of taking things slow with a sexual partner, at least most of the time, wasn't really her thing but you would never know it from the way she handles your body in this moment. Gingerly lying you down on her bed, pressing soft butterfly kisses on your cheeks and mouth. Using her mech arm to hold herself in a hover above your body, her flesh hand rides up your shirt again, slowly caressing and massaging the soft skin underneath before slipping it off of your torso entirely.

"You sure you want more?" Sevika hums against your skin, nuzzling the tip of her nose against your throat, needing to confirm that you're absolutely sure before she lets loose. You nod, but of course, your girl's not having it.

"Speak. Tell me you want more."

The soft, commanding tone of her voice sends a shiver down your spine.

"Please Sev...I want more, I'm sure. I promise I'm sure." your cheeks hot as you stumble awkwardly with your words.

That's all the affirmation she needs, her hands now working around your back to unhook and discard your bra. You feel the calloused palm of her large hand grazing against your skin, groping at the fat of your breast as her lips latch around your nipple on the other, gently sucking and nipping at it with her teeth.

Her normal impatient attitude when it comes to most things has seemingly disappeared as she makes her way down your body. It takes every ounce of self-control to make it so, Sevika denying her urge to rip your clothes off to slowly strip you down instead, then herself, hungry eyes flickering up to you with each article of cloth shed to make sure you're still okay.

It's when you feel her hand beginning to slip underneath your panties that you tense again. The stiffness earns you a softly uttered "Relax baby" from Sevika before you feel the pads of her fingers begin tracing your puffy clit, the contact almost soothing now that there's some relief to the growing ache between your thighs.

Sevika is quick to replace her fingers with her mouth, eager to position herself snugly between your thighs, hoisting your legs over her broad shoulders and pressing her tongue flush against your cunt. The feeling sends a jolt of electricity through you, the expected but new feeling of her soft lips pressing kisses against your swollen pearl, her tongue dragging along your slit rendering your brain useless.

"Oh my god..." Your hands instinctively weave into her short, dark strands as you unconsciously press yourself into her closer.

Sevika can feel her own need growing by the second but she refuses to rush you, her own cunt gushing with every little move you make. The way you whimper when she finally pushes two of her thick fingers into you is driving her absolutely wild, moaning with you against your pussy as she finds herself humping mindlessly at the scrunched blanket between her own legs.

"There you go, pretty girl...so fuckin' tight" "Taste so fuckin' good, baby.."

Every word she speaks is caught between her own stifled grunts and heavy breathing, her impatience becoming clear in the way she begins pumping her fingers ruthlessly in and out of you, audible sloshing and sucking sounds only drowned out only by your increasingly loud, untamable moaning.

Every muscle in your body seems to tense as you near your peak, back arching up off of the bed as you try to warn her you're close

"Sev, Sev....I'm g'na - fuck, I'm so close"

Sevika just groans in response, her fingers curling upward inside of you with each pump, triggering a wave of all consuming pleasure to course through your body. You've touched yourself before, but not a single one of your solo sessions could compare to the blinding euphoric feeling that rips its way through your body. Your fingers curl harder into her hair, accidentally tugging off the elastic that usually keeps Sevika's hair in place as you grind yourself agsint her tongue.

Her hands keep a firm grip on your thighs as you ride out your orgasm, only detatching her lips from your body when you begin attempting to pull back from overstimulation. A dopey grin is spread across her wet lips when she looks up at you - a rare sight to most, the small gap in her front teeth on full display.

"You did so good...so fuckin' good for me" Sevika murmurs, not bothering to wipe her mouth when she leans down and crashes her lips into your own parted ones, your breathing still short and heavy.

With how she's repositioned herself on top of you, her core hovering just above you thigh, you can feel just how wet she's gotten without even having been touched yet, the dark hair of her bush grazing against your skin and leaving a cool, dewy trail on your leg.

"What....what about you?" You ask, to which Sevika snorts, this time, purposefully lowering herself a bit more to let you feel just how drenched she truly is, as if wanting you to know that it's your fault her body is reacting this way.

"I never said I was done with you, did I?"

Reblogs are appreciated <3 || Taglist: @archangeldyke-all, @delinthecut, @half-of-a-gay, @porcelainmystery, @glass-apothecary, @cobraisveryhorny

[street-smarts00]

Drabble: Superstitious

Spencer Reid x Reader

Reader gets stressed and locks herself in the bathroom. Penelope grabs Spencer to help her calm down.

Tags: reader has anxiety, fluff

Penelope rushed to grab the hotel key from her bag and unlock the door. Once the door was open she led Spencer inside and pointed towards the bathroom.

“She’s in there.”

His head turned to the closed door with the bright cool light peering out the bottom.

Penelope fidgeted with the hotel key card in her hands. “Do you want me to give you two a minute?”

“Yes please,” he answered softly under his breath. His eyes still on the bathroom door. Penelope softly smiled at Spencer’s concern for you as she walked out of the suite. She knew of all people who could calm you down, it was him.

He lightly knocked on the door twice. “Y/N? It’s Spencer. You in there?”

After a brief pause he heard two knocks from the other side. He let out a sigh of relief at your acknowledgement.

“Can I come in?”

“No!” You abruptly pleaded. “I’m sorry. I just don’t want any bad luck.”

You tended to be a very superstitious person. So he’s not surprised you would be strict with the not seeing each other before the wedding rule. But still, he so desperately wanted to walk in and comfort you.

“It’s okay sweetheart,” he comforted. “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Today,” you quietly mumbled. He wouldn’t have heard you if he said wasn’t resting his head against the door.

“So many things kept going wrong this morning. I’m so anxious Spence,” you said a bit louder this time.

“And you’re scared something bad is going to happen during the wedding?” He didn’t have to have profiling skills to know you inside and out.

He heard your shaky breath before you responded. “Yeah.”

This wasn’t the first time you spoke to him about worst case scenarios. He found himself to be your anchor, he pulled you back down to earth when your mind would go against you. When you got caught in a storm of uncertainty and fear.

He knew this wasn’t just about the wedding.

“That’s not all is it?” He pondered.

You sighed as tears threatened to spill from your eyes, “No.”

“I kinda thought spiraled and started thinking about our jobs. How scary that might be once we get married,” you tried to hide the small gasp of breath that threatened to escape your throat. Spencer still heard it as small as it was.

“What happens to people in our line of work and what happens to their spouses. I- I could never forgive myself if something happened to you.”

He wanted to bust open the door and hold you as tight as he could. Melt away all your worries.

But he understood how much these superstitions meant to you. At times when your anxiety was against you, a knock on wood or throw of salt would ease your mind. So he stayed on his side of the door, and used his words instead.

“You’re right, our job can be scary. There’s gonna be bad days and there’s gonna be even worse ones. But through all the bad I will always be here with you, even when you can’t see me,” he smiles and lightly taps his knuckles on the door.

A small laugh escapes you at his actions. He loved the sound of your laugh. He could get drunk off that sound.

“I will never stop fighting for you and I will never stop loving you. I want to go through all those bad days with you as your husband.”

“We can’t let the fear of what could happen, stop us from being happy.”

A stray tear makes its way down your cheek, “If that is what you say to cheer me up, then I think your vows are going to ruin my makeup.”

Spencer chuckles with a bright smile on his face. After a moment of yours and his quiet laughter he gets an idea.

“Stand behind the door,” he calmly orders.

“Why?”

“I want to hold your hand but not break tradition.”

Your lips parted and eyes widened. No matter how long you knew him he could still give you butterflies from being so adorable.

Spencer heard you shuffle closer to the edge of the door and slowly turned the handle. He pushed the door open just enough to reach his hand out making sure to look away from the door.

Suddenly he felt your hand intertwine with his. The action practically made him melt. When he started rubbing his thumb against your hand, he was met with a gentle squeeze from you.

[cazzyf1]

An Article about Lella Lombardi - Nobody makes jokes about women drivers around Lella Lombardi

The sleek Lola T-332 racing car crossed the starting line at the river side, Calif, Grand Prix, hurtled ahead of three cars, and swooped back inside with split-second timings.

"You mean that's really a girl?" Muttered three times indianapolis 500 winner A. J. Foyt, looking on in incredulously from the side liners.

For Lella Lombardi, the first woman in 17 years (and the second ever) to compete on high performance Formula One circut - the big leagues of professionals auto racing - the question is all but invetable. What in the world is a nice Italian girl like Lella doing in overalls and a crash helmet, risking her life at speeds close to 200 miles an hour?

"That's what mama keeps asking me," says the tomboyish 31-year-old Lella, "I guess she thinks I should be home with a good husband and a houseful of bambini."

It was obvious from the beginning, to Lella at least, that she was cut from different cloth compared to most girls. Born in the little Piedmontese village of Furgarolo, she was hooked on auto racing before she was out of diapers.

"The first I remember, I am perhaps 4 or 5 years old," she recalls, "I was making little cars from things I found in my mum's sewing box. When I was 8 I decided I shall be a racing driver. I didn't say anything but I made up my mind."

As a teenager Lella raced motorcycles with boys in her village. The boys were scandalized she beat them - their mothers that she was racing at all. Eventually the village priest came to call.

"He explained why I should be like a girl and what a girl must do," she remembers. "So I told him, 'yes father' but all the time I am thinking why am I not allowed to do as I want."

Nothing if not persistent, Lella saw her first race at 18. Five years later she brought a car of her own, secondhand, Formula Monza 500 that she tinkered with and drove in races herself. Last year, nearly after a decade of coming up through the ranks, she was approached by March Racing Ltd, of England which was looking for a driver for its two-man Grand Prix team.

"Formula 2, Formula 3, Formula 5000 - I raced in them all," says Lella, "I win a lot in Italy - six times women's champion. So when March comes to ask me to try out for them, I say to myself, 'Why not?'"

March's decision to hire her was hardly made lightly. A single Grand Prix car costs $100,000 and putting it through a season of racing costs several hundred thousand dollars more.

"Putting a woman into a Grand Prix cockpit means shattering a lot of tradition," acknowledges March team manager, Max Mosley. "Of course, my wild told me, the only reason I was hesitating was because of Lella's sex, no doubt about her skill, in the end, I guess my wife was right."

Now prepping for this Sunday's Monaco Grand Prix, Lella is given little chance of winning a race this season (although she finished a respectable sixth in last week's accident-shorter Spanish Grand Prix) since March is designing its cars. Some drivers perhaps disturbed by Lella's invasion of their male peserve, doubt the chunky, 5"2, Lombardi has the stamina for long-distance racing. But March chief Roy Wardell, was watching her during a gruelling test of the company's racers, disagrees.

"Thrasing a car about it bloody hard work," he says, "most male drivers would have been bitching and complaining but she drove more than 300 miles flat out without a whimper." Her main fault, says Wardell, is a rookie's understandable caution. "Lella is still a bit afraid that if she spins out everyone will say, 'see a woman driver'" he says, "but her confidence is building. Pretty soon she'll be mixing it up with the best of them."

[yankevglatshteynalt]

Small thing about Legend of Ruby Sunday is that we never actually learn what Susan Triad’s big reveal was gonna be, what kind of tech she developed that would help the world, since one of the reveals is that she’s actually nice and normal (pre-possession lol). Nor why she’s had these dreams and been scattered through time. Like on one hand ok she’s a pawn of Sutekh, but none of the actual questions about her have been answered, simply acknowledged.

[livwritesstuff]

Hi, you once had a post about Steves Dad dying and Steve and his mom kind of reconnecting... how did that first meeting between her and the kids but also with Eddie go? And is it a stable relationship or kinda like it was with Steve, fizzling out and just popping in whenever?

I really love this AU, excited for more AO3 content tbh ♡♡♡

Happy Pride!

<3

so the thing about Steve’s mom is that she knew everything. Steve never stopped reaching out at any point between when his parents fully cut communication with him (1993) and when they finally contacted him again (when his dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in ‘09). Sure, Steve stopped calling after a while because they never picked up, but he wrote letters, he invited them to everything, he sent the kids’ school photos and holiday cards  – he sort of adopted the approach of “You aren’t in my life because you’re actively deciding not to be. I am leaving the door open; you are choosing to not step through it”.

Steve’s EQ is pretty high. He can see the nuance in the situation – the estrangement was mostly his dad’s doing, but he also knows that his mom chose to align with him instead of her son. She could have made a different choice.

Case in point – on one occasion, she actually did.

Back in ‘04, when Steve and Eddie had first moved into their house, Steve invited his parents to the housewarming party just like he invited them to everything even though he knew they wouldn’t show.

Lo and behold – his mom showed.

She met Eddie and Moe (three at the time) and Robbie (not quite one yet), and then she left and Steve didn’t hear from her again until five years later when she called to tell Steve about his father’s diagnosis.

After his father passed away, Steve worked with his mom to make sure she’s comfortable in the aftermath of everything. He helps her relocate closer to where he and his family live because by that point she's made it pretty clear that she wants to be in his life again.

As far as meeting Eddie and the girls – it goes fine. The thing about polite society is that it’s dripping in pleasantries. Steve’s mom is sweet as pie to Eddie, and she dotes on the kids, which, sure, Steve is happy about, but what he really wants is to have a conversation about the choices she'd made over the years and how they hurt him.

She’s not interested in that though, and while that’s the case, Steve keeps their relationship distant and surface-level, and he definitely keeps her at an arm’s reach from Eddie and the girls because he doesn’t want to allow his kids to start thinking that it’s fine for people to slot in and out of their lives whenever it’s convenient, and he doesn’t want Eddie to think he’d ever let slide the way she responded to finding out about their relationship.

(Even though Eddie forever maintains that, “Steve, the only thing your parents did to me was give me you. You’re the only one here they actually hurt” but, again, Steve is The Martyr of all time, so he has some trouble seeing that).

In the “hierarchy of grandmothers”, so to speak, Joyce 100% reigns supreme because she’s been around from the beginning and they’ve seen the maternal-like relationship she has with Steve their entire lives, which I think Steve’s mom definitely has an awareness of but, again, she can’t exactly bring it up without bringing up the way her actions caused the situation and without acknowledging that the reason Joyce and Steve have that kind of relationship is because of the choices she made.

[corvidcrossbow]

Since I made a post about Mother's Day w/ Daryl, I gotta make a Father's Day one too.

For obvious reasons, he didn't like Father's Day (me neither Daryl). It felt insulting to see people celebrating their dads, felt so forced and unfair, stupid even. How come other people got to have fathers who were there for them and cared for them while he didn't? What made him undeserving of that? (Mother's Day was already hard enough when he was young, sitting in class and nearly trembling from how hard he was straining himself to not cry while those around him made cards and talked about their plans for the weekend with their moms) So he tried to push the existence of the holiday out of his mind.

Fatherhood was never something he pictured. Even when the hypothetical idea of kids crossed his mind, he was sure it would never be plausible: he'd just follow footsteps and end up some doped up abusive deadbeat as well. Although he never pictured an apocalypse with the undead either, and that pushed the idea of fatherhood even further into a realm of impossibility.

So both those happening, and someone as perfect as you being directly involved in it, was leagues outside his imagination.

The first Father's Day after your child was born was rough. He enjoyed how the collapse of society made people lose track of the dates, too occupied with survival to care about minor things like this. But with the stability Alexandria provided, over time celebrations reintegrated into routines, this included, and he was not fond of the reminder.

He didn't mention the day at all leading up to it, or of, continuing his ignorance and hoping it'd slip your mind. He knew it wouldn't: you were too attentive and appreciative of him to miss any excuse to celebrate and congratulate him no matter the context.

But you threaded lightly, knowing it'd be touchy and let most the day pass by as any other would, just being extra sweet on him. You never wished him a ‘Happy Father's Day’, instead when you were going to bed that night thanking him for being a father, for everything he did for you and your daughter and how good he was at it.

He ended up just breaking down, falling apart in your hold and attempting to bury himself in you the same way he tried to bury so much else.

The next couple years were largely similar; little acknowledgement to the day, but extra acknowledgements to him. It was your daughter that started to make it more distinctive. A little older now, she saw the other kids in the community making little gifts and cards for their fathers the same way they did for mothers on the respective day. Even those who didn't have dads made them in memoriam.

So of course she did it too, she loved her daddy and did those things all the time anyway. Why not do it when it's even more special? She didn't even tell you about it, secretly assembling it all herself.

You shared Daryl's surprise when she presented her crafts, repeatedly saying the token phrase you'd held off from using. He was mostly frozen for a moment, trying to just see her and this singular day rather than previous decades of Father's Day's that came before, all negatively tinted and crossed out from his personal calendar.

He accepted it all, and her innocent recognition of the holiday's purpose. Though the urge flared up in some part of him, he couldn't shut her down. She meant well, and wasn't to blame for his rocky relationship with the day and his own father. He wouldn't create reason for her to despise the holiday too, and how could be cold to the human embodiment of sunshine while her toothy smile was beaming at him?

He put her to bed that evening, spending an extra while stroking her hair and admiring how peaceful she looked while sleeping. Despite the state of the world, she had the privilege to not only sleep, but feel safe while doing so. And he's what allowed that; gave her that.

She got to feel safe from all the horrors he'd seen: the walkers, blood, guts, violence, death, immorality, all the disturbing things about life that were amplified by the apocalypse.

But more importantly, she felt safe with him.

She got to excitedly jump on him while he was still asleep in the morning, roll around and shake him till he finally got up. She got to play with him in the dirt while out in the yard, or sit him down with jewelry and accessories surrounded by stuffed animals and toy dinnerware. She got to chase him around and bombard him with curious questions and learn everything she could from him.

She got to make messes and break things, make mistakes, and know he'd always help her clean or fix them.

She got to show her emotions and be a kid and cry, and know he would always hold and soothe her, wipe away her tears and do anything to make sure she was okay.

And she never knew a different response. She never knew the yelling or insults, the degradation, the mockery, the beatings and burnings and whippings. She got to fall asleep by her father's side, lulled to rest by his comforting voice, be in the most vulnerable state a person could be, and know that the last thing he would ever do was hurt her; the idea – the worry – of him hurting her did not exist in her mind.

Daryl'd crumbled to tears by the time he returned to you that night, collapsing into your arms the way he did every time the reality of being a parent hit him. He would never truly understand how he got to this point in life, how every unfathomable thing – good and bad – had genuinely occurred and this is what was real.

From the instant you found out you were pregnant, he'd promised you, promised himself, and promised his child he would always be the father he'd wanted, that he'd deserved, that his kid deserved and that every child deserves. He healed his own childhood by assuring his daughter'd have a good one, and that he'd be regarded as a good part of it.

She made Father's Day something that could actually be ‘happy’ for him.

The daddy issues hit a little too hard while writing this

I fr don't know where the last week of my life went I just remember watching Lost 🗿

[couragecomesfromwithin]

polin love scene 🪞

now I haven’t seen much discourse about the nudity in Ep 5 particularly, but I have heard how some fans have been disappointed with how much was “teased” versus what they feel we deserved. maybe there was more and it was cut back, maybe they were respecting boundaries while trying to still satisfy fans I don’t know… But I do just want to acknowledge in fact how lucky we are. How proud we all should be, of both of them.

But Nicola. Beautiful, radiant Nicola Coughlan.

This woman had already shared her anxieties and boundaries around what was pitched in the book vs what she would be comfortable doing, long before it was posed or undertaken. I also want to remind you of the obnoxious, rude and disrespectful discussions and opinions she has already had to face about her body. Previously and still most recently. She put that all back on the line like never before undertaking and exposing so much in that scene. Naked. Not in some bitty show or a stage where it is only to a privileged ticketed few. But to a worldwide phenomenon.

This woman’s image will likely land on porn and xxx websites. It shouldn’t, but it will, alongside other actresses who have given similar performance simulations. And she will be judged and belittled by small, horrid people hiding behind the anonymity of the interweb. Maybe they will not reach her directly. We can hope, but they will be out there-and in a way it never was going to be for the first two leading ladies. Because they fit within the superficial societal expectations of what constitutes beauty. And indeed they are beautiful, but not because of the size of their waistlines. This woman is beautiful, and bold and she chose to find the empowerment in undertaking that level of exposure. She chose to honour what was expressed in the book. What we got to witness , it has been a privilege, not something we were ever entitled to. She is not an adult entertainer, she is not an explicit model, she is an actor. A performer. A brilliant, vibrant one at that, and she is proud, and happy. We should be proud and happy. She has given us a gift, she has risked the vulnerability of more unwarranted, cruel opinions and commentary on her naked body. I am so proud of her, I am so proud of who she represents, all these beautiful, sexy women who do not fit within the unrealistic ideals of a world that equates the size of a dress, the numbers on a scale and the absence of “imperfection” to the worthiness of a person. A human being.

She is resplendent. Unless you have ever faced- even with the support of an intimacy coordinator- filmed nudity, as an actor, it is intimidating. It’s you, but not you, in all your naked glory, with nothing to hide behind but the belief and identity of being another person and an absolute trust in those you create that moment with. And with the advance of social media, reality tv and the internet clearly the world’s ability to see the distinct line between character and performer, has become increasingly blurred for the socially inappropriate. And they will tell you exactly what they think, without a drop of consideration or care…and whether you are doing it for the first time or twelfth time as you sit in a robe, very nearly naked, You will still have this small voice of “o god, am I going to regret doing this?” And you make a choice.

You choose to trust, in yourself and those around you... But this is captured, memorialised on film for better or for worse, forever. Your family may see the it, your future children, grandchildren. It may sit in the minds of strangers, people who you will sit opposite on the tube- and who won’t say a thing…Not that you may really want them to.. but you just may catch their eye, sparkling with recognition, and think to yourself ‘oh geez, what if what they are thinking about what I look like naked’…which feels stupid and shallow, but for such a moment as a nudity scene, it ultimately becomes part of your legacy- it stays with you. Your career…hell people may still bring it up again 30 years down the line on a chat show (👀..Brooke shields, Sharon stone…there are still female performers who’s careers are ultimately stalled and who are judged for undertaking such scenes, who find that suddenly they are no longer so respected) and to recognise that…that to do this, it’s still a big thing, and we still do it anyway, because you believe in what you are doing and why you are doing it, to take pride and pleasure in what you do and the stories you tell and the characters and experiences you bring to life… it is beautiful and worthy of a little respect and acknowledgement.

now I’m not saying we are wrong to have wished for more, or different…but I do want to recognise what we did get, and how incredibly lucky we are in that. We should be so worthy and accept with grace the beautiful performances and attentions as was clearly given by the whole cast, crew and production.

[michael-aftonz]

what type of movies the sdv marriage candidates would watch:

so this is just for funsies, but i decided to brainstorm what types of movies/shows all 12 marriage candidates would watch. there will be a mini-drabble assigned to each one, as a treat. sorry i got a little carried away with some of these. i hope you guys enjoy <3

bachelors:

harvey: he loves romcoms. there is literally no denying it.

i picture him on the farmhouse couch, wrapped in his favorite blanket with a mountain of tissues next to him. you walk in and take "your spot" next to him (which is basically as close to him as humanly possible, your head resting on his shoulder). he leans into your body to acknowledge you're there, but he's too invested in his movie. DEFINITELY a movie crier. "why can't she see that he's the perfect guy for her!!!" absolutely inconsolable during the parts where the love interests are fighting, but then when they finally get together he's like "i knew it!!!" harvey would have a variety of snacks, though most of them are things like apple slices with peanut butter and some assorted nuts. happy to share his opinions about the movie and even ask your input on the love interest(s). for example, if the main love interest has a current partner who is definitely not right for them, he'd be like, "so, you see that persons TOTALLY the wrong one for them, right?" he'd also "take notes" and use what hes learned from these movies to plan romantic dates for the two of you.

elliott: let's all be honest here. he also loves romcoms.

he and harvey have a "book-club" style meeting where they watch a movie and discuss it over tea/coffee. of course, he'd invite you, too. being the romantic - and writer - he is, he spends the entire movie critiquing things and going "oh, well, if i wrote it i'd do it this way-" you love him, even if he does talk over the movie. i also think he'd be the one to bring the most AMAZING array of snacks to a movie night - like full on 3 course meal with dessert. a bit overkill, but what else would you expect? elliott probably gets too invested in the storylines and - if its an ending he doesnt like - will write his "own version" with tweaks. yes, elliott is a part of fandom, sue me! he'd definitely show you the finished script and ask for your input. who knows? maybe elliott will direct his own movie one day - with you as the star, of course.

alex: if you guessed sports movies and gridball games... you'd be completely wrong. i think alex enjoys animated movies - it doesn't really matter the genre. alternatively, i also think he would enjoy westerns.

here me out: everyone always assumes he's like.. sport obsessed, and he is, but thats SOOO boring. i think he does enjoy watching sports, yes, but his favorite movie type is animated. im talking studio ghibli animation. he loves howl's moving castle and makes you watch it with him several times a week. honestly, you aren't entirely sure he doesn't have a crush on christian bale, but like, who could blame him? now for the westerns. from my own personal experience of visiting my grandparents, they watch westerns exclusively. i think living with george and evelyn would have introduced him to the western cowboy film genre and he would have instantly loved it. it's mainly a nostalgia thing - when alex was younger, he'd always sit on george's lap and watch the western movies with his grandfather. evelyn would be making cookies in the kitchen and then bring kid alex a heaping portion. whenever he watches a western now, he feels warm and safe. it reminds him of his childhood. of home.

shane: action comedy

i don't really think this would needs much explanation.. shane just enjoys a good action comedy movie. i think he'd laugh way too loudly. personally, i think he enjoys animated action comedies much more than live action ones (though he'll still watch those). i think his favorite would be kung fu panda, just because he sees himself as po in a way. i think he would supply ample snacks - though most so unhealthy and sugary that they'll make your teeth fall out. he's definitely the type to fall asleep during a movie, cheesy dust coating his fingers and his hands still in the bowl you two were sharing. you just shake your head and place a blanket over him. maybe you even fall asleep, too. that's all fun and games until you somehow knock the bowl off in your sleep and cheese balls spill all over your carpet flooring. oops. it's okay tho! 5 second rule. i also think shane is the type to walk into a room where a movie is playing while he was doing something (ie bringing you something, cleaning, etc), stand at the edge of the room with his arms crossed like he's "not interested", and spend 20 minutes watching before finally sitting down next to you.

sam: thriller movies

oh, sam. sammy sam samson. he's another tough one. theres so many good genres that i think he'd like, so hes sort of a chameleon. he's open to watch any and everything, but he LOVES thriller movies. more specifically, dystopian future thriller movies. he loves anything that's exciting. sorry sam fans, but i think he'd be the type to watch movies EXCLUSIVELY on his busted android phone. he'd also laugh loudly at parts and rewind to show you, but it's not like you can see through all the cracks so you're just like "oh, that's hilarious". sam loves sending you youtube compilations of "funny movie clips" and will be like "yoo, did you see that clip i sent you?" even though sam will watch anything, i think he absolutely despises war movies. even though he knows its just a movie, he can't help himself from imagining his father in that situation. war movies are a definite DO NOT WATCH for him. i think he would buy an entire large pizza for the two of you to share but.. im sorry, but you do NOT get any pizza. boy just eats the whole thing in 2 bites.

sebastian: historical movies

controversial, i know. but i feel like sebastian would love historical movies. growing up with demetrius as a step-father, sebastian always loved learning new things. historical movies allow him to continue to learn new things. now, i don't mean that he loves documentaries, i mean he loves historical FICTION movies. specifically, pirate movies. sebastian definitely is a laptop-only movie watcher. it doesn't matter if the tv is three feet from him, he will not watch something unless its on his laptop. i imagine him sitting on your shared bed, leaning back against the headboard with the laptop on his legs. he'd absolutely lose his mind if you joined him - even letting you hold the laptop, if you want. i think he would melt if you laid your head down on his chest and asked him questions about what he was watching - which he'd be happy to answer. he would definitely start playing with your hair if he seemed to be getting bored of his movie, or maybe he'd just do it without realizing.

bachelorettes:

emily: musicals!!

again, no real explanation needed. girlie loves to sing along - maybe even dance along - to the musical numbers. i think she is a musical theatre fanatic, though she really loves movie musicals. because broadway tickets are like so expensive, she prefers to stay home and watch them with you. she knows all the lyrics and has definitely watched them multiple times. during her favorite numbers, she'd pull you up from the couch and convince you to dance with her. you'd be having the time of your life - even if you didn't really know the lyrics. if you did, the two of you would be singing (well, screaming, really) along to every word.

leah: this one was a bit tough, but i think leah would like fantasy movies.

i really think she would enjoy the movie scenery more than the actual plot, though. like the beauty of the nature, you know? you two would be watching a movie where someone is going on a big, exciting quest and leah would be like "oh, gosh, look at those trees. the coloring is just spectacular." you don't mind, though, because she's right: these fantasy worlds always look so breath-takingly beautiful and it's hard not be captivated by them. i think she'd prefer the artistic aspect to the movies, especially if it's an animated fantasy movie. if it was animated, she'd be absolutely speechless and just in awe of how the animators drew something/someone. what she doesn't realize, though, is that you're looking at her the way she looks at the movie. she just looks so breath-taking and you can't help but smile every time she makes a comment about it. "this movie is so gorgeous" and you would think "but not as gorgeous as you."

maru: mysteries!!!

specifically murder mysteries or whodunit's. while she does love scientific documentaries as well, she also enjoys a good mystery movie. and when she watches them, she gets INVESTED. im talking making her own predictions and even asking you who you think the killer is. of course, she's always right. maybe she has some sort of "detective intuition"? you think it's adorable how she clings to your arm and rambles about her guesses. "how could you think it was THAT person? it's obviously this one!" can and will provide evidence on how she's right. makes you think and really dive deep into the movies. it's fun to watch them with her because it lets you view things in a different light than normal.

abigail: i think abby loves comedies.

yeah, everyone thinks she would like horror movies - and she does - but her favorite? comedies all the way. she loves a good laugh. the two of you have a movie theater date, making sure to get the extra large popcorn to share (but you wouldn't be mad if abby ate it all, since she usually does. but she looks cute with her face full of popcorn.) she laughs super loud and everyone else in the theater is .. glaring at you two. i think she would also have "full body" laugh reactions like she would smack the seat, smack her legs, just anything. she's having a good time tho. by the end of the date she is completely covered in popcorn (yes, it even managed to get in her hair, somehow) and you spend a few minutes picking each piece out.

haley: honestly? i think she enjoys horror movies. not because she's overly interested in the horror aspect, but because it gets her closer to you.

she would invite you over for a movie. of course, she would probably be scared out of her mind (or not, depending on the severity of the movie). regardless of if she was actually scared or not, i think she'd still find a reason to cuddle up next to you "for comfort" or "because she was scared". you don't mind, though, and you're happy to have her feel safe in your arms. eventually, she'd just stop trying to watch the movie all together and just cuddle up next to you.

penny: i think she would like dramas or melodramas.

penny, being calm and quiet herself, probably likes these genres of movies because she doesn't express very strong emotions herself. not that she doesn't feel them, she does!, she's just very soft spoken and doesn't like to speak her mind for fear of upsetting someone. when she watches these movies, she can relate to the characters and their experiences. it makes her feel.. calmer? in a way. i think she is the type to watch movies while in pajamas, probably before bed or at a sleep over type setting. she will defend her movie choices (not that you'd insult them, anyway). i also think she would be the type to bring "easy" snacks - peanuts and saltine crackers are her best friends. penny seems like the type to have a movie on in the background while doing something else (cleaning, trying new recipes, etc). if you two had a sleepover, she would definitely try to get you interested in her movie choice and list any possible actors you may know. even if it wasn't really "your thing", you'd still watch the movie because it makes penny happy.

[the-prettiest-teardrop]

Second Chance Ch. 1

Pairing- Childhoodbestfriend!Steve x Introverted!reader

Warnings- Drunk Steve, Alcohol mention, Steve being an asshole, regret, kissing.

A/N- This was so fun to write, and part 2 should be out soon. This actually hit close to home tho cuz I got dumped by my childhood bestie right after lockdown ended

———

Steve-fucking-Harrington, childhood best friend, turned to someone you considered an enemy.

Elementary school was great, sitting on the porch together, eating popsicles, fighting over who was the faster runner. Middle school wasn’t bad either, minus a few arguments and awkward moments. Late nights were spent lying in your backyard, giggling and gossiping over who had a crush on who, and who was dating who. This was around the time you started noticing his popularity rise, more girls were starting to take interest in him, I mean, yourself included, but that was something he never knew. High school is when things went downhill, rather than laughing with him on the porch, you sat alone, staring down at your shoes, hiding inside whenever him and his new, cool friends came driving past your house. It all still hurt, the way it was as if you were erased from his memory, like he never knew you at all. 

Your phone rang, interrupting your otherwise quiet night. You set down your book, “Pride and Prejudice” and picked up the phone.

“Hey, Y/N, you think you could come help me out?” It was Robin’s voice, and you could hear drunken chatter and the other sounds of a party in the background.

“Depends on what it is.” You reply with an exasperated sigh, you were trying to have a relaxing night in, and having to save someone at a party didn’t sound like something you wanted to do right now.

“Listen, I need help getting Steve home, and before you complain, I’m not gonna be able to drive him home and you’re the only one I know that could help.” She explains before you can interject. She knew how he hurt you, and how you still disliked him to this day.

“God, fine, only because I want you to be happy.” You groan as Robin thanks you before hanging up. You put the phone back on the receiver and make your way to the party. 

Once you arrive at the house, you’re immediately hit with the overwhelming scent of alcohol and vomit, making you gag. You quickly find Robin, a drunken Steve at her side.

“Did you get him water?” You ask with a sigh, already over having to deal with him.

“Mhm, now get him home please, I’ve got things to do.” Robin reply’s, helping shift him toward you. You wrap an arm around the drunken boy, his hazy eyes meeting yours.

“I know I’m the last person you want to spend the night with, but let’s go.” You murmur, and he luckily complies as you get him into your car.

The drive home is fairly silent, until you turn onto your street.

“I don’t know why I ditched you.” He slurs drunkenly, and your heart seizes. You knew he wasn’t in his right mind, but hearing him say those words still meant something. “I thought they were cool or whatever, but now everyone’s off to college and I’m stuck working a stupid, dead-end job.” His words were sincere, no matter how drunk he was, it was all the truth. You couldn’t help but feel bad for him, it seemed like he’d changed, not completely, but enough to give him another chance.

“C’mon, let’s get you inside.” You murmur, helping him out of the car and into your house, where you then got him settled on the couch.

You could hear him mumbling to himself as you got him water, and when you set it on the coffee table in front of him, his eyes landed on your face.

“You’re pretty, you’ve always been pretty.” He slurs, and you give a brief smile, acknowledging the comment without giving it any time to blossom into anything more.

You brought him a blanket, telling him to rest before retreating to your bedroom. 

As you laid in bed that night, his words kept replaying in your head, and you couldn’t help the little swell of excitement you got in your chest when you thought of him. He was still as handsome as always, with his gorgeous carmel locks and big brown eyes. You dreamed of him, of what it would’ve been like if he hadn’t ditched you, if your life hadn’t taken that turn.

In your dreams, you lay in his arms, his face tucked into your neck. You were utterly in love, attending college together, planning out the rest of your lives. Unfortunately, when you woke up, you were forced to face the harsh reality.

You walked downstairs, expecting to see Steve on the couch, but he was nowhere to be found, until you spotted him out on the porch.

“What are you doing out here?” You ask quietly, confused as to his sudden change in location.

“You deserve an apology, and I figured there was no better place to do it.” He says quietly, his voice low as you sit down beside him. “I really shouldn’t have done that, I was an asshole to you, and look where that got me. I know this isn’t nearly what you deserve in the forms of an apology, and I understand if you never want to see me ever again.” He explains, looking down at his shoes.

“Thank you, I mean, I can kinda understand why you did it, being popular feels good, especially when there’s no one at home to make you feel like you matter.” You knew all too well about the situation at home, all the times he stayed over at your house as kids, all thanks to his neglectful parents. “For the record, I really don’t want to lose you, not after getting you back.” You add, and you find your hand in his, fingers laced together.

“You know, I had a crush on you all through elementary and middle school, always thought you were pretty, even after I left.” He says, squeezing your hand a little.

“I know, last night, you said some things. I’ve always liked you too, I mean, I don’t think that’s a huge surprise, everyone likes you.” You smile sadly, which makes his heart ache. He’d hurt you enough, and didn’t want to do any more damage.

“I’d be willing to give us another chance, but maybe as more than friends.” He offers, his tone soft, fearing rejection. Your silence scared him, but before he could react, you were pressing your lips to his, and his hands flew to your lower back, holding you close.

You spent most of the day like that, sitting on the porch and chatting, catching up on the last 4 years.

[geekgirles]

Even though we all know it's eventually going to bring disastrous consequences for Amalia, I'm so glad she didn't just control her fight with Aurora since the very beginning, but that she got to call her out on her foolishness and undeserved arrogance. I was really getting ready to call bullshit had Aurora at some point gained the upperhand by some sort of "legitimate" skill of hers.

Because Amalia is absolutely right! She never stood a chance because, realistically speaking, she never should have!

Ever since she was first introduced in season 3, there has never been any indication that Aurora knows how to fight. In fact, I'd say there's never even been any indication that anyone in her family is actually skilled at combat. Ashdur seriously looked more like a bodybuilder or circus strongman than a warrior, for example.

(See?)

But Aurora especially seems to have been raised to be married off to some other nation's heir to act as his arm candy rather than an actual queen and partner capable of running a kingdom in her husband's absence. During the entire time we've known her, she's never displayed any leadership, diplomacy, or tactical skills, let alone battle prowress. We all know it; for the entirety of season 4 and the webtoon, she's done nothing but quietly and passively follow Armand around and then act snide towards Amalia alongside her father.

And how could we forget the one time she took proactive action, she immediately had to retreat because she was lightly struck by lightening, which, and I cannot stress this enough, amounted to a small burn on her hand?

(Most dramatic bird I've ever seen, I swear to God...)

Not to mention that at the first sign of things not going her way or taking a direction she doesn't approve of, her first instinct is either to stand powerless and cry about it or throw a tantrum and recklessly and impulsively throw herself headfirst into things without thinking about the possible consequences.

All the while treating Amalia like nothing but a spoiled brat that is beneath her and who she can easily dispose of. But as Amalia pointed out, due to her complete and utter lack of experience in the real world and inability to let go of her self-perceived importance and worth or even acknowledge her own mistakes and privileges, the only spoiled brat here is Aurora.

Meanwhile, Amalia's adventures have allowed her to grow in ways no other royal can even fathom. She learned to let go of her prejudices when she worked with Pandiego; learned to refuse to be cowed into submission and fight for what she believes in when she went against Armand's orders; aside from the ocassional tantrum that is mostly played for laughs, she values the people around her as much more than mere servants or how she can benefit from them; she's fought wars, faced monsters, dragons, and demigods, and an undead, unbeatable army of Wakfu-vampires; and, if that weren't enough, her position as Sadida Princess and later Queen, hence protector of the Tree of Life and Sadida Kingdom, already implies the entirety of the Sheran Sharms are taught the art of combat in order to fulfill their duties to their kingdom.

Which can be seen when Armand and King Oakheart were the first in line during the war against Nox back in season 1, and again against the Nécromes (in Armand's case). As opposed to the Osamodas King, who didn't just neglect to send troops to help the supposed allied nation his daughter ruled over, but said daughter went as far as confirming he barely ever leaves his cave, always delegating everything on members of his court.

In other words, even before she met Yugo, Amalia already was a Warrior Princess by virtue of her family and their devotion to their kingdom, while Aurora never evolved from spoiled princess. And the fact that she failed to take Amalia's real world experience into account, besides how vastly she overpowers her and her father, only highlights how her own ego and pride blind her to reason: she really never stood a chance.

In short? Will Amalia's bludgeoning of the Osamodas bring unfortunate consequences? Yes, most definitely. Did they deserve it? Abso-fucking-lutely.

[orgasming-caterpillar]

Formula One: The Curse Of The Prancing Horse

There is something so inherently poetic about Ferrari— all the glory behind it's name, the decades of history behind the logo— and it's failures. The sheer splendor of decades worth of building its name to what it is, only to be stuck a step behind from greatness. Too close to rest, to far to push.

And yet, no matter how much they lose, it's still the dream of every young man stepping foot on the grounds of Formula One. It is the Formula One dream. The deep devotion that drives anyone with a Ferrari badge on his chest, the blind faith despite every blow. It's larger than a religion. A cult.

Because even in all its misery, Ferrari is Formula One.

Time after time, we have another spectacular driver who's won it all and won it again, coming to Ferrari in hopes of winning it all with a legacy to support. This deadly hope in the heart of every driver coming to Ferrari that "I'll be the one to change things. I'll be the one to give them back their glory." It happens over and over again because a martyr that does not die lives to create more like him.

It's a cut that always bleeds because not only do you lose your lustre and yourself in the process, you watch another young driver take your place and go through it all over again. Do you think the past drivers look at Charles and pity him? Do you think they warned him? Do they understand the feeling of losing yourself in the process of finding glory for the prancing horse? Do you think charles will feel the same about whatever rookie joins him in the coming years?

Because it's Charles' relationship with Ferrari that's the most poetic of them all. Every race weekend he gives his body and soul to the team, and this team— they don't know what to do with it. It’s all very Renaissance, bold reds and religious zealotry. He’s a walking tragedy. He knows how to suffer and does it well — he was raised Catholic, even if he doesn’t acknowledge God anymore. He acknowledged misery and that's close enough to God.

Charles knows what's wrong with Ferrari. Over the years, he's become well familiar with how they break you, but he no longer cares. Not when occasional glory is poured down his throat like white hot nectar. It burns, but the blisters too are rosso corsa, the colour of prestige.

He says "If this is a cage then I'd like to be kept in a cage my entire life." As if he thinks he has a choice. As if he has it in him to make the choice. He won't change being Il Predestinato in red to being Charles Leclerc in any other color. He was born for rosso corsa.

He says "At times I have not been merciful towards myself" but oh sweet boy was it ever your choice to make? This is what the prancing horse does to those who put a saddle on him.

They call him Il Predestinato, but for what? Predestined for what, glory? Ha, no. Predestined to be the next sacrificial lamb, is what they mean. Predestined to stand on the altar ringed with fire, bearing a prophecy that hovers its fingers over his heart, digging its nails into the warm flesh the longer he is unable to fulfill it.

And it's how we watch it all unfold. How we watch driver after driver sacrifice himself to the team, the team sacrifice him to victory and Victory's satiated sigh at the taste of winning blood before doing what she wishes. It's poetic— all the blood spilled with no respite.

It's the cycle of misery, the curse of the prancing horse.

Ferrari will forever be red on the canvas of history because it is stained by the blood of the heroes that tried to save it.

[cuecrynsleep]

Terms of Endearment

AO3 Link

Amanda has always had (a habit at this point) of calling Angela certain pet names. Whether it was the occasional honey, or more commonly babe, she just said it and never minded it. Yet as the habit grew to a layer of comfort and enjoyment, other feelings start to slip through.

Or 5 times Amanda (unintentionally) called Angela a pet name and 1 time she tried to stop

Tags: Fluff, Pet Names, Flirting, 5+1 things, cross-posted on AO3

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be a representation of those in Smosh, rather a fan made perspective on the characters they portray online. Remain respectful.

Word count: 4,168

Amanda can't stop. What started as occasional occurrences during videos slowly turned into constant instances in their day to day life. It's gotten to a point where she simply just can't stop. There's just something about calling Angela all these pet names, and have it come out of her mouth naturally. As if the sound of it, towards her especially, was second nature.

It's not as if Angela minds it, if she did she would've said something. Amanda trusts in Angela and that she'd communicate with her if she was ever uncomfortable with any of her actions. It was one of their first conversations they had when they were both starting to become closer. A prompted phone call where they were going over sketch ideas, where it slowly turned into a talk about boundaries. One of which turned into their first promise. A promise to talk if one ever felt uncomfortable with the other's actions.

Then, as if the dam broke, letting the water flow through, physical contact became a part of their normal. Whether it be a hand on a shoulder, or Angela completely laying on Amanda, cuddling into her. It was nice; it was a part of their dynamic and Amanda liked how it was.

A part of their dynamic was pet names, even if it was more so on Amanda's part. It started off as "sweetie," whenever Angela did something warranting some layer of concern. It morphed into "honey," one that people would call each other on some occasions, so it wasn't as if that were out of the ordinary. Rather, it turned into something that was seemingly just for them, when more pet names were introduced and it happened way more often than it should.

Amanda wasn't even sure how she ended up calling Angela so many pet names. It was as if she was opening a book of pet names and was just using one or another at any given opportunity. It's not like Angela reacted anymore, she did at first, her eyes slowly widening, with tight lips sucked in between her teeth turning in a slight smile. Rather, she didn't react, at all, she'd acknowledge Amanda, maybe a smile and then she'd move on. It simply turned into that because they were both so used to the pet names.

1. Babe

Amanda sat on the couch in one of the empty green rooms, scrolling through a random article on 'people.com.' Her eyes continued to scan the words, only stopping as a familiar figure sat next to her. Angela's knee touched hers as she sat next to her, even if she didn't have to.

"Hey Ange," Amanda said, turning off her phone to acknowledge the shorter girl. A brow furrowed as she looked at her. She wasn't even distracted by her phone, it was open, but the Instagram photo it was on stayed. Her screen shifted into a darker tint as it remained inactive.

"You there, babe?" Amanda asked, the pet name slipping out naturally. "Babe, come on." She nudged her with her knee.

Amanda frowned, putting a hand on Angela's shoulder, leaning her head down to look into her eyes. "Ange, what's wrong?" She squeezed her shoulder, smiling as Angela seemed to react.

"What?" She asked, blinking slowly as she leaned her back further into the couch. "Hi Amanda."

"Hello to you too," she rolled her eyes lovingly with a soft chuckle. She went back to her spot, but still scooted closer to Angela, if that was even possible. "What's wrong, Ange? I tried getting your attention, and you seemed a bit lost there."

"Oh," she paused. "Sorry, I didn't get enough sleep last night." Then, as if on cue, she yawned. She blinked away the tiredness and continued. "No particular reason, I'm just tired.”

"I can make you a coffee," Amanda offered, she moved closer off the couch, her knees touching the table.

Angela smiled, a hand reaching out towards her to grab Amanda's wrist. She looked adorable, her head tilted slightly as she spoke. "Chanse already made me one earlier. Thanks though Amanda."

Amanda glanced down at Angela's wrist, letting the force drag her back to her spot as if she had to. "Then sleep."

"What?" Angela looked at her, almost baffled. "We have a shoot soon."

"In thirty minutes."

"But-"

"Nuh-uh, you're way too tired for this right now, babe." Amanda wrapped an arm around Angela, her hand on the side of her head. "Sleep. I'll wake you up when it's time." She pushed her head down, telling her to use her shoulder. She couldn't control the smile she had as Angela got comfortable, scooting closer into her warmth.

2. Baby

A few of the cast and crew gathered at a local nearby bar after a particularly successful week. Chanse was the designated driver this time around, purely because of a date he had the morning after. Amanda in particular, though she'd usually drink, stayed sober the entire night.

"I can take her home," Amanda offers to Chanse as both their gazes land on a particularly drunk co-worker.

"Are you sure?" He asked. "I mean I was the one who took her here so I wouldn't really mind taking her home."

"Nah, it's fine," Amanda shrugged. "You already have enough people to take home anyway. Even if some of them are just going to take an Uber.”

"Thanks," He smiled as his gaze faltered to Angela who practically tripped onto an equally as drunk Olivia. He moved quickly towards her, a hand wrapping around her waist as he held her up. "You need help getting her to your car?" He said, still asking the question despite knowing full well the answer. Amanda could very much handle Angela's weight if she had no problem carrying Shayne.

"I should be good." She took Angela from Chanse, wrapping a protective arm around her waist. Angela could only stumble forward, making Amanda catch her as she practically laid her entire body on her.

"You had a little too much to drink, Ange," Amanda chuckled lightly. She maneuvered herself around a few booths and tables, careful to not let her fall over.

Angela in response leaned her forehead against Amanda's chest, drool falling onto her shirt. A slur of incomprehensible words and murmurs heard.

As they finally exited the bar with Chanse holding open the door, Amanda found herself practically holding all of Angela's weight.

"Come on, baby," Amanda uttered. "Let's get you in the car." She trudged forward, adjusting her hold on her as she slipped a hand into her pocket for the keys.

Angela's feet stopped, properly standing on the ground, making Amanda stumble to make sure she didn't fall. "Okayyy, 'm drivin," Angela said with full confidence, smiling up at Amanda.

"Babe, you're drunk," Amanda laughed. "There's no world you're the one driving."

"Heyy, I'm not drunk," Angela slurred in slow words. She propped her head up, looking up at Amanda.

"Yes you are," she said, picking Angela off the ground as she ended up carrying her like a princess. She ignored the passing thought on how she felt nice in her arms.

She continued on, dropping Angela onto her feet carefully, as she opened the door. As soon as it was, she drunkenly fell onto the seat naturally, allowing Amanda to get her seated properly and buckled up.

The drive was as uneventful as it could be with a drunk friend, who was starting to get tired. Amanda's eyes shifted towards Angela, seeing her small form hunched over the side of the car. She continued driving as she did, lowering the music's volume even more to make sure she didn't bother her rest. A speed bump she had failed to notice shook the car, making Angela start to mumble. She shifted in her seat, her forehead accidentally hitting the window.

"Ange?" Amanda called out in concern. "Baby?" She kept one hand onto the wheel, keeping her eyes on the road, as she reached out towards Angela. She found her hand, squeezing it lightly, expecting some sort of response. "Baby, are you okay?"

Another murmur slipped out, almost sounding like a whine. "Am I home?" She asked in a tired voice.

"Not yet, I'm sorry about that, Angela," she apologised. "You're almost home I promise."

Angela lifted her head in an attempted nod as she closed her eyes, letting herself drift off to sleep. Amanda could only let go of her hand as she approached a turn, continuing to drive, this time a lot more wary of anything on the road.

3. Love

Amanda was having a stressful day. She was ready to arrive to work and bury it, keeping the heavy emotions that weighed on her separate from her work. That's what she always did anyway, not because she didn't trust those she worked with, she very much did, rather it was a habit she built up. Work was separate from her personal life and she was happy keeping it as that.

Yet, as she saw Angela enter the Smosh office and smile as soon as she saw Amanda's face she could already feel her resolve start to weaken. It was always like this, sometimes when she saw Angela it was incredibly easy for her to break her walls down. There was just something about Angela that made her want to open up, and maybe it was because she knew Angela could help calm her down. She knew Angela would listen to every word she said, say what Amanda needed in that very moment, and just like that they could move on with their day like normal. That’s how Amanda preferred it, especially when at work. If she needed to talk about it more she could always just talk to Angela afterwards.

“You okay?” Angela frowned, looking up at Amanda.

Amanda sucked in her lips as she let out a shaky breath. “You’re way too good at this,” she commented, her voice coming out in a hushed whisper.

“Do you want to go somewhere more private before we start our day?” Angela offered.

“No, no,” she nodded her head as she spoke. “I just need a small moment.”

“What’s up?”

“A lot of things have just been adding up,” she sighed. “The nail in the coffin is the fact that I just hate everything I come up with now. All my sketch ideas just seem like shit.” She ran a hand through her hair, letting out a tired groan.

“I'll check over any ideas you may have,” Angela immediately suggested. “You might just need another pair of eyes on it.”

“Thanks,” she smiled, though it didn't entirely meet her eyes. Suddenly, Angela pulled her closer into a hug, Amanda's arms wrapping around her naturally. It felt nice. It felt like she actually needed this.

“You know that I love you, right?”

“Of course I do,” Amanda said, her voice coming out in an unintentional whisper. “I love you too.”

“Just know that I'll always be there for you,” Angela murmured. “I know you hate talking about more serious stuff here, but you can call me up afterwards.” She pulled away from the hug, stepping back as she awkwardly chuckled. “Or, if you're up for it, you can sleep over at my place?”

Amanda's smile grew to meet her eyes, it was almost silly how one person's words could make her feel better in that moment. Angela has always just had that effect. How someone who she hasn't even known for that long could force her way into her heart this fast was beyond her. Though, she didn't exactly mind it. Things were always different with Angela.

“How about you sleep over at my place this time?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Angela grinned. She stepped away, her arm outstretched towards Amanda. “You ready for work?”

“Not yet,” she mumbled.

She grabbed onto Angela's wrist, pulling her closer towards her. "Thank you, love," Amanda whispered as she pulled Angela into another hug. The height difference caused her lips to hit the top of Angela's forehead. She ignored the light flutter that erupted in her stomach.

4. Angel

They were playing another board game for Smosh Games. The small group of five surrounded the table, with Angela, as usual sitting next to Amanda. Things were hitting off with how it usually would. It took a bit, but as the game progressed it was natural for their comedic sides to slip through.

Angela, in particular, fascinated Amanda today. She was just so electric, as if she was an energetic force that shined so bright. One that was somehow also a magnet simply for how much Amanda felt drawn to her. That's what made game videos with her so different, so natural, because it was just a part of who they were as people.

It was easy for her to just appreciate more and more sides of Angela, especially when she was working. Where, in that moment, something she is deeply passionate about and good at shines through in every second. She was truly fascinating. So maybe it was those passing thoughts that made her only bounce off Angela even more in that moment.

"Angel-, Angela," Amanda's eyes slightly widened. "You're literally so many points behind." She had made the pet name seem more like a misheard stumble of words than intentional, as she spoke. It's not like she thought Angela would mind it, if anything it would add onto the list of many other things Amanda calls Angela. Who knows maybe Angela would get a kick out of it because it was one letter off her name.

Rather, she stumbled because that was a new one. It's not like she intentionally did it either, her name just naturally followed as if that's what she always meant to say. Ignoring her stumble, she compartmentalized and moved on. She riffed off a joke Trevor made, smiling as Angela laughed and let herself sink deeper into the video.

She couldn't let conflicting emotions show whilst she was working, especially when the thing that started it wasn't something that should bother her in the first place. It was just a pet name. It was a part of their normal. That was it. Yet, that didn't stop the gnawing thought, on what Angela would think, before she sunk herself back into the real world. She really wanted to see her reaction.

Before, in the starting days of this aspect of their dynamic she always had the most obvious of reactions. She always looked so cute. It made it better that Angela was one of those people who could react so easily over the simplest of things. Everytime Amanda couldn't help but feel special whenever she saw one of those particular little reactions directed towards her.

Yet, with every passing occurrence and the feelings that'd seem to threaten to rise, Amanda could only wonder. She was starting to enjoy calling Angela all these pet names more than she should, more than she ever bargained for. She was never supposed to end up caring this much. It was fine for her to love Angela and their fast-growing friendship over the past couple months. It was fine for her to get close with all of her coworkers and be her usual touchy self. That was all fine.

It was fine with how it was in the beginning, because it was meaningless. It was something she'd do to others in her life if she were that close with them. Something made her hesitate though, because she was enjoying these pet names more than she should. A part of her, and though she'd never admit it, was scared of eventually pushing Angela away, even if she was confident in the bond they shared. Perhaps there should be more lines drawn when it comes to work relationships.

5. Beautiful

Angela was taking Amanda to the party, the former being adamant on doing so after Amanda took her home after she got drunk. She could remember Angela's bumbling apology over how she acted, clearly embarrassed over her actions, even if there wasn’t much to be embarrassed over. In general, it’s been about two weeks since then but Angela still insisted on taking her to Tommy’s birthday celebration.

She was just about to finish her makeup, but paused as she heard the doorbell. “Sorry, I’m not ready yet,” Amanda said, as she opened the door. She could feel herself visibly catch her breath as she took in Angela’s appearance. In one word, she was absolutely stunning. The dress, though simple in design, complemented her appearance. The transparent black stockings affected Amanda more than she’d ever admit. She wasn’t sure how it was possible, but Angela was both incredibly cute and hot at the same time.

“It’s fine,” Angela said, bringing Amanda out of her thoughts. “We’re still pretty early anyway.” She did a look over Amanda’s look. “You look beautiful.”

“I haven’t even finished my make up yet.”

“My point still stands.”

Amanda affectionately rolled her eyes. “Well, you literally look absolutely stunning.”

“I try,” she shrugged. “You finish getting ready, I’ll just wait over here.”

Amanda went back into the bathroom, taking her time to finish getting ready. Despite saying she’d wait by the entrance Angela ended up in the bathroom, with the two making idle conversation as Amanda applied her makeup. It was hard not to admire her whilst she was talking. There was just something different about her that drew her in to admire her so much more. A part of her couldn’t help but wish for this moment to last for even longer.

In general, the situation felt different, it felt more like Angela picking up Amanda for a date than the former driving her to a party. Maybe it was the fact the feelings Amanda buried throughout work were starting to show themselves. Maybe it was pure wishful thinking. Maybe it was the fact that Angela looked absolutely beautiful as she stood at Amanda’s front door. Her thoughts in particular towards the shorter girl were becoming a lot more intense in the past few days.

She finished up her makeup, putting the final touches on her lip gloss just as Angela finished animatedly telling her about a character idea she had. She pushed the thoughts from earlier aside, exiting the bathroom to gather her stuff as Angela followed in her steps.

She put on her heels, Angela even helping attach the ends, as she double checked her belongings. "Come on, beautiful, we have a party to go to." Amanda smiled down at Angela, exiting the door that Angela held open for her.

Okay, that pet name made Amanda internally cringe. She couldn’t help but compare it to those sleazy guys who’d cat call women on the street. She was just about to joke about that, but the words died in her throat as she saw Angela’s reaction. She had a tight-lipped smile on her face, a visible flush coating her cheeks as she shakily breathed out.

Oh. This was bad. This only made Amanda want to tease her even more. To see every reaction to multiple various pet names. To find out what was going on in her head everytime Amanda flirted with her. Those thoughts alone extended to other ideas and hopes that Amanda didn’t exactly want to fully process right now. It was okay to be playful with Angela. It was a part of their dynamic. But maybe just maybe like most things there was a limit to it. She definitely needed to start showing some restraint on all these pet names.

6. Angela

"Angela, we have an hour before the meeting, it's fine." Amanda said, as Angela took another bite of her sandwich. She was chewing faster than usual, determined to finish her food so her and Amanda could go over character ideas. Yet, the thought of that seemed to fade as Amanda said her name.

She had been calling her either Angela or Ange for the past five days. Not a single pet name had come out of her mouth once and it felt weird. It's not like Amanda always used them, at the end of the day she'd call her Angela more than she'd say some pet name, but the sudden lack of them seemed weird. Especially, during filming where she'd particularly end up calling her more pet names.

On the first day, she didn't even notice it, yet by the second in the late afternoon it was a passing thought. By the third it was more of curiosity, but by the fourth she was actively waiting for Amanda to call her a pet name. It seemed almost stupid how things progressed. There have been days where Amanda wouldn't utter a pet name, but it seemed purposeful this time around because Angela knew Amanda. She knew how she was and sometimes it just felt like she was holding herself back.

"I know I pointed it out but you don't have to eat that slow," Amanda laughed. She lightly pushed the cold bottled water against her hand.

Oh. Angela hadn't taken another bite after swallowing for over a minute. She took another bite of her sandwich giving Amanda a pointed look.

"Oh, come on, what is it?"

"What do you mean?”

"You know what I mean," Angela replied, as if defending herself. She feigned innocence, as the thought of what she was actually about to complain about fully occurred to her.

Angela hated the fact she was starting to get sick of her own name on Amanda's mouth. She hated it even more knowing that feeling would immediately disappear if Amanda just called her babe, honey, or any other pet name she has for her. It was silly. This was entirely Amanda's fault and even though she wasn't mad at the girl whatsoever, it still felt like her fault for getting her so used to the many pet names.

"I don't, sorry Ange," Amanda sighed. "What is it?"

"Try again." Angela tried, at this point she was stalling. She wasn't exactly comfortable with lying to get out of this situation, especially when Amanda looks so concerned.

The truth was hard, it was something that didn't always come easily. Especially when the truth was that Angela was acting like a sad puppy who got no treats over something as silly as no pet names for five days. If Amanda would let her live this down, Angela herself wouldn't.

"What?"

"Repeat your question," she reiterated, hoping that Amanda would somehow catch her hint. Nevermind the fact her hint was extremely minimal.

Amanda sighed. "I don't know what you mean, Angela. What is it?" The repeated question, despite sounding more gentle, also sounded more forced if not robotic. She waved her hand in the air as if further proving her point.

Angela.

Not even Ange at this point. Angela was starting to get tired, she just wanted everything to go back to normal. Normal being Amanda calling her multiple pet names willy nilly whenever she saw fit. This was such a ridiculous issue in the grand scheme of things. Especially, when they were at work and had a particularly busy schedule this past week.

Angela groaned, pushing aside her plate slightly to place her elbow on the table. She was truly at her wits end, just wanting to get this over with. Plus helping her ever so slightly in this situation was that if there was anyone she could talk to it was Amanda.

"Just call me a pet name already!" Angela relented, looking up to meet Amanda's gaze. "You've been doing it just fine for however many months, don't stop now."

Amanda paused, not speaking a word as she just sat there. She blinked, unmoving, the sounds of their chattering coworkers at another table disappearing, even if for a moment. Then, as if a switch was flipped she leaned forward, moving to the edge of the chair, her feet keeping her grounded as she seemingly loomed over Angela.

Angela could only gulp, bracing the table as if it could offer her some support. She wanted nothing more than to burst up in that moment and turn the tables on Amanda, but felt almost too stunned to do so. Her voice was practically a whisper, a share of words meant only for her and her alone. Her voice dropped in tone, making a shiver rush up Angela's spine.

"Aw, did you miss it, babygirl?"

And as Angela expected she already regretted bringing it up. Wholeheartedly, with every fiber of her being, she felt so embarrassed. More so when her heart fluttered and she felt nothing but relief after hearing her call her a pet name.

Angela only scooted closer, grasping onto Amanda's wrist, making their eyes meet after Angela's gaze faltered.

"Yes," Angela answered. "I did miss it, and it's your fault in the first place." She bit her lip out of habit alone. "So take responsibility, will you?”

[keelt9]

Chapter 5

Masterlist

“Could…Could you at least keep your location on?” Mía is at the verge of frustration, but I try to keep it calm. The last thing she told me, probably helps her to realize what it feels like to be an older one.

That happens 20 minutes after I start my animated discussion with the big guy. He is right but I am asking for an act of mercy.

“Miss, I’m sorry, but…” I’m already red with desperation.

“Sir, please, please, just once, call her and she will know what to do!” Thankfully there wasn’t anyone nearby, one more time I arrived extremely late.

“Lad…” His new rejection pulled my last attempt. I didn't travel for more than 7 hours as I heard my little sister complain about my squandering without even telling her a reasonable reason.

I close my eyes and beg with my hands. “Sir, just one time, anyone in the paddock, I’m really, really, playing something huge here, I’m not lying to say this can cost me… more than I’m imagining right now.” 

“You should think before spended it.” I open my eyes, my hands still sticking together.

“I’m not talking about money.”

I don’t know if it was the conviction in my voice or a miracle, but he grabs his radio and calls for Violet of the media team in Red Bull. I don’t have anything more to do just sit on the ground hoping for the second part of the miracle.

“Do you want me to call for a paramedic?” I didn't get it at first but then I remember I have a red kinesiology tape from my shoulder up to the back of my neck; Anton put it on me before “send me home” for rest.

“Oh, no I’m fine, I already take my painkillers.” It’s not for causing pity, it’s the truth.

“You came here not knowing if you even will enter; correct me if I’m wrong, with a neck injury?” Now he wants to talk.

“Shoulder injury, and yeah, I take the risk. “ He bluffs looking at me like the first time I stand in front of him, with incredulity. “Because it's totally worth it.”

“OMG Y/N, what are you doing here?” Violet appears breathless as she takes out her cellphone looking for something. “Please don’t tell me Max was waiting for you?” 

I chuckle probably the last time Max wasn’t that happy that no one could find me. “Oh no, no, it’s the opposite.” 

“It’s ok, she can come in, I’ll give her a pass.” The big guy nodded and opened the door for me to get inside.

“Hey, girl!” He screams when we start to walk, this time in his eyes I see acknowledgement. “Take care of that shoulder, all right?” 

I told Violet my journey, my spontaneous plan, my arriving here without warning and my almost useless attempt to contact her without having a clue of her full name, and my new friend. I omit the fact I haven't replay any of the texts from Max since Saturday morning, and the missing calls.

“OH! I see, I see, I can help you with that.” Violet walked with me to the stands, where family and friends of the pilots could see the race without problem. 

The experience was probably what Max expected I got through when he invited me to Silverston. I was able to see the race really close; with 10 laps remaining, I stood and walked back to a similar room where Max gave me the T-Shirt. Max celebate like nothing happened. I watch all the ceremony from the T.V in the room, waiting twisting my fingers in my hands.

“How could you not know where I left it?” I hear clearly angry Max. “I left it next to the bottle.” I walked slowly standing in the corner next to the entrance where he couldn’t see me so easily.

“We’ll look for it Max, take it easy.” They are coming closer.

“Or I could go and do it myself, I bet the person inside can wait a couple of minutes.” I imagine him with lethal eyes in his face.

“I don’t think the person inside is the person you want to make her wait.” This time I recognized Violet's voice. “Lisent Max, go and then you can look for your cell phone, for christ sake.” She’s clearly done with him.

He enters head down and moves it side to side, annoying but obedient like a few times; he switches his mood to a polite one but when he doesn't see anyone he opens his arms and lets it fall with a hard sound. No one else follows him.

“See, no one, now if you let me…” He speaks as he turns but in the middle of it, he sees me smiling big at him.

We both walk faster, he hugs me, both of his arms around my neck, the last thing I saw before closing my eyes is a wide open smile on his face.

“OMG! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” He speaks as he buried his face on my neck, I rub his back as I giggle, I never get used to this comfy sensation.

“Surprise.” He splits and touches softly with his fingers my chin, where probably the scar that forms the bowstring stains in a line, red wine color.

“Why…where…how do you get in here?” He asked me as pull me closer.

“You must give me credit for this, please, it wasn't easy, at all.” I grab his cap which is about to fall from his head.

“For sure. This is great, amazing… You are amazing, still do you know how nervous I was for not replying to any of my texts or calls?” I hear his question as he splits, rushing his words. I give him a peck on his cheek, like he said I recharge him.

This time he blushes, a red pop of color in his face.

We start to talk, he quickly understands I really don’t want to talk about how the examination goes so he keeps explaining to me things I still don’t understand from the race, but when we reach the garage I see media people from Red Bull quickly surround him.

The mere fact of flashes and voices whispering out loud causes a flashback in my mind. The incessant questions, just predicting the worst scenarios, others remember I’m leaving my team in the middle of a huge competition, didn't leave me breath. 

I feel a cold sweat, the need to run away appears one more time. “I’ll see you later all right?” 

Max knew that stopping a girl in the garage surrounded by cameras and reporters giving something to talk about is the last thing we need; so he nodded and walked where GP is talking with Christian, still I know that conflicted eyes.

I see Violet talking far away from the cameras with other girls, before I leave I need to thank her “Thanks Violet.” I hugged her and she did the same. 

“Any time Y/N now you have my phone for anything you need.” I assent and walk with one thing in mind, leave.

My steps were automatic as I reached the exit texting Mia; I’ll spend the night here and I will take a plane back home tomorrow morning. 

“Go back home safe, girl!” The big guy screams when he sees me walking through the door, I smile at him and wave my hand. I definitely made a new friend.

In the hotel I heard all the telling from Mia, even though I hate to admit she is right, I act reckless after a big meeting.

Mia takes a deep breath and calms her down. “And now you are in the hotel alone, that’s what makes me more angry, who think he is?” I already told her all the story. If I want peace, this is the kind of things I hope she understands.

“Oh come on Mia! I came here without a heads up, I knew he would have tons of things to do.” Through a video call it is clear to see her exasperation. “Besides, I’m the one who ran away.”

Literally.

“Whatever. Make sure to get home safe ok?” Even after her anger Mia moves me with her corner.

“I’ll do it mom” Mia laughs and wishes me good night. 

I replay the last text of Max apologizing for not being able to have dinner with me, but he already has scheduled a dinner with Charles and Lando; after that I fell asleep so quickly that the only thing that woke me up was my alarm, buzzing on my hand.

I reserve my flight as the first thing in the morning, I grab the bag I pack and run out of the room, no bother in reading the message I have. 

Thankfully Anton is already rescheduled for Tuesday morning, that means I have a free Monday, giving time to do my weekend activities, go to the grocery store, keep me updated with my morning runs and cleaning the apartment.  

Max told me he will make up with me, as soon as he arrives in Milton Keynes and I keep saying it’s ok, I saw him, that was the main point of my little travel.

A week later, Monday morning starts with a run through the hallways when I see Anton’s text telling me we will be working in the space he arranged when the coaches came. But when I enter a strong boom and color papers fly in front of me, scare me.

“OH SHIT!” I dropped my phone, I heard the sound of familiar laughs that made my heart beat like crazy.

I see them, Olivia, Charlotte, and Rachel, my team with party hats and Olivia holding a cake, counting until 3 and starting to sing “Happy birthday.” 

“OMG! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! In a single hug I practically forced Liam to catch the cake in the air. 

“What do you mean? Happy birthday!” Charlotte says still sticking to my side. She is the youngest of the team, she resembles Mia a lot. 

“Well, getting ahead a couple of days before your birthday.” Oliva, the team leader and the older of us, corrected her. She was right, my birthday will be in a week.

“Oh, but that’s not all.” Rachel, the brave girl who stepped up when I got injured a year ago, covers my eyes and turns me around. 

“Tadaaa!!” They scream as she removes her hands.

“THERE IS NOT FUCKING WAY!” I scream as I run where Matthew is waiting for me with open arms, he carefully holds me arms around my waist, shaking me from side to side, an old habit we had.

Matthew is my best friend and my partner in all the duplet competitions, we met when we were 7 years old in our first days of training in a more professional way, the bond we made was quick and became stronger year by year. Marie Anne calls us the gold coins, I can proudly say in all these years we have a modest amount of 10 gold medals as a team.

“LOOK AT YOU!” We walk back to reunite with the girls. “You look amazing!” He passed his arms around my shoulder pulling me closer. 

“I’m amazing.” It’s incredible having them here, it feels like being at home one more time.

They explained to me, they made a quick stop before going to Antalya for the competition, and they refused to let me pass my birthday alone. After my face was covered with chocolate from the cake and we sat down to eat, I introduced them properly to Anton, bragging a little bit about our achievements. After a while Liam and Anton offer to go and buy something to eat, leaving us alone for a while. 

That gave me time to explain what the coaches told me. Robert recognised my technique and my pression but his concern about the resistance on my shoulder in the long term. Marie Anne, who is actually Matt’s coach, told me it’s a notorious recovery still she is unsure a year is enough time for avoiding a reinjury. Will has two petitions, he needs my shoulder to be stronger and keep in physiotherapy at least 3 months more and they come for evaluating me, one more time.

“We imagined that from Will but that was a little bit harsh from Marie Anne.” Charlotte says, taking a sip of her bottle.

“I’ll give you 2.” Olivia said, patting my head. “In two months you will get that.” 

Liam and Anton arrive a couple of minutes later with some sandwiches and sodas. “Don’t tell your coaches I’m giving you these.” Liam laughing clearly for me didn't mean a problem but they will have a competition in 3 days.

“Please kids, go and wash your hands.” Anton says as he searches for cups. 

The team told us they will leave tomorrow night, that gives us a whole day. They give me full attention, and help me to practice some shoots. They mentioned things I wasn't doing right either because I let it pass or I'm still unsure of my shoulder. Anton and Liam let us go early with a new surprise; Charlotte already has scheduled a dinner in a nice restaurant. 

In the dinner we spoke about the training, funny moments, how good some teams are this year and the challenge that represents for Rachel switching Compound Arch for Recurved Arch. One more time I feel part of a world I love.

Early in the morning they insisted on making breakfast, just they didn't know I usually don't have breakfast at home so I ran out of morning supplies. “Ok, ok, I'll go with you.” Matt and I were walking to the nearest store, 8 blocks away.

“Max was great, I mean running in his home must be exciting” He distracted me on purpose because I didn't notice those words until I answered.

“You have no idea, still the weather was kind of tricky.” My words came naturally as I opened a bag of bread. “Fuck!”

Matt makes my arm tingle in his arm. “Yeah, I see you.” The panic on my expression made him continue. “Don't worry, no one else knows that, I’ll see you in one of the many photos a random person takes.” 

Matthew used to date a girl who is a huge fan of F1. “I thought you already got over that phase.” They broke up 9 months ago.

“You're turning this to me, clever girl.” As we walk he lends his head over mine. “Just be careful, ok? Next year we'll have a big target to hit, don't feel pressured, but…” 

I feel his breathing going slowly. “We need you there, I mean I can carry this federation on my own.”

That makes me laugh. “Ok I get it, I get it.” Slowly I open the new jar of Nutella we just bought. “He is number one too, believe me, I’m focused on being just with the best.” I covered his nose with chocolate and ran back home.

As they say, they left at night, not before Liam at the request of their coaches put them through a hard training, he said, they’ll be able to sleep like babies in the plane. 

“Take care ok?” Olivia hugs me so tight, but carefully not pressing my shoulder too much. “We came back and got you out here, promise.” I nod and the younger girls do the same.

“Love you. Don’t take my words the wrong way, I’m just worried.” Matt kissed the top of my head. 

After we saw the plane lifting from the ground Liam took me home so I can rest, he said; I quote. <Big changes tomorrow.>

I totally forgot my last text to Max was yesterday at night, he must be busy because he didn’t even read it. 

<That’s great honey! Rest, love you!> I can hear the excitement of dad after Liam sent him the video of me practicing some shots, almost perfectly.

At the hour Max and I usually talk I prepare for calling him when someone knocks the door, twice.

“You forget the ke…” I open the door thinkin Liam was at the other side but the soft light of a candle in a dark hallway calls my attention.

“Happy birthday.” I raise my sight from the small cupcake.

“Amm, thanks but…” I barely can contain my smile. “It’s not my birthday.” 

Max now was clearly speechless. “What? But…but… I see the cake, the hugs and kisses.”

“Oh.” He rushes to his answer. 

“I mean, I was passing by and it’s almost impossible not to see the flying color papers, the big letters, the cake, strange persons, a guy kissing you.” He is so cute.

“I already told you about Matty.” He bluffs, rolling his eyes. 

“Matty?! Yeah you talked about Matthew.” I am fighting for the urge to touch him.

“Are you mad or are you jealous?” He opened his eyes round as plate while I take the cupcake, blowing out the candle, or the wax will burn his fingers

“What, what? Why… Wh…Why I be?” He’s a shuttering. He is jealous, it’s funny how much this buzz could make me feel happy, maybe, just maybe he felt the same as I feel for him. 

“Let me think for more than a second.” I bite the cupcake, red velvet, my favorite. 

I’m lost one more time in his words, this time I couldn't avoid laughing. “Max, what are you talking about?” 

“OF COURSE I’M JEALOUS! Come on! Your teammates come out of the blue, and yeah, I get, it is or it will be or it was your birthday and he even gets you to laugh like that, looking so happy, I feel so so so… watching from far away .” He didn’t even realize but he just caged both of his hands at the side of head. 

I’m trapped inside the apartment, against the wall. Max is so close to me.

I grip his jacket and pull him to press my lips against his cheek. “You make me feel like my birthday is every day, you don't need to know the specific date to make me feel, and laugh like that.” He can splits still he keeps his face a few cm of my face, I smile at him. 

Suddenly he lost his words. “You stain us with whipped cream.” He looks and smiles shyly, letting down his head, carefully resting on my shoulder, both of us laughing.

“Now could I move, go and prepare something for dinner, I’m hungry.” He smiles and lets down his arms.

“I’ll order something.” He took out his cellphone clearly embarrassed for his lack of control a few seconds ago. This time I stand on my tip toes, kissing the corner of his lips. 

The cherry color in his face turns strawberry pink and that blue eye gives the perfect contrast.

[xenosagaepisodeone]

mild observations from the hagio moto/hideaki anno interview

this is the first mention I've ever seen of anno's upbringing straight from the horse's mouth. I always assumed that he was private about his early life for his own reasons, so it's fascinating to see him describe his upbringing as unremarkably normal, albeit a bit impoverished. it's also kind of nice finding out that the reason he let all those grade school kids dunk on him during that one tv interview was because he's deathly afraid of accidentally hurting a child's feelings.

concurrent with that its actually crazy to see him acknowledge that he views miyazaki in something of a fatherlike capacity and also sees him as someone whose approval he vys for. for years it was speculated that a lot of the negative emotions channeled into nge stemmed from his time working directly under miyazaki in his time at studio ghibli- in particular shinji/gendo and rei/gendo's relationships...and he just admits it here. Fun fact: miyazaki stole anno's SDAT player during the development of Nausicaa so he could listen to a particular song on loop, broke it by accident and then gave it back to him.

I loved the "otakus are uncool" conversation because it runs entirely in conflict to anno's temperament in the whole interview. he opens by gushing about much of a fan he is of hagio moto's work, how much he loves her sense of style and direction, and he even asks her when the next volume of A Cruel God Reigns is releasing. she provides a cool perspective on nge, but he's literally talking to her from the perspective of a fan! "otaku are uncool" but its the only thing he can be. when he calls The Matrix uncool (much to hagio and sato's surprise) it almost felt like reflexive self depreciation.

hagio's manager stepping in to stop her from talking about her mother was funny. girl we Know.