#online classes sound fun actually.. reminds me of quarantine

[lqfiles]

everyone being in exam season is freaking me out (good luck to all u pookies !! i SALUTE YOU🫡) ,, my classes start on the 29th nd im losing my mind bc i took this past semester off for a little mental health/work break and its not even making sense in my head that im going back, even tho i chose online classes…… WHAT THE HELL IS APPLIED STATISTICS 😹⁉️ WHAT THAT GOTTA DO W GETTING A PSYCH DEGREE 🙅‍♀️❗️

anyways all of u in school rn or going back or taking exams WHATEVER!! good luck lovelies 💗💗u 🫵 got this ☝️

—🪼

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE WHO HAS THEIR EXAMS!!!!

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 you should mentally prepare yourself for your classes, make sure you’re ready for the REAL world again loll but THATS FUNNY THEY GOT YOU DOING APPLIED STATISTICS IN A PSYCH COURSE IJBOLLL they dont even correlate 😭

good luck to everyone and good luck to your frennn <3333 new school semester new YOU 🫶🍾

[jiminisnotavirgin]

A+

Pairing: professor!taehyung | collegestudent!reader

Genre: smut

Description: A one-on-one video call with your hot, college professor takes a surprising turn.

Words: 3.8k

Warnings: inappropriate student/teacher relations, mutual masturbation, fingering, clit-stimulation, and innapropriate language.

Note: After much anticipation, I hope this is my return to the writing part of the lovely fanfic world. Here’s a little something mischievous and self-indulgent (clearly!). I started writing this when quarantine and remote-learning first began last year and I returned to it earlier this week. Let me know what you think :) I hope you enjoy A+. Love, Phoenix.

Email after email, document after document, the light from Taehyung’s laptop shines bright blue across his features. The hours go by and the sky grows darker but he remains at his desk, only taking small breaks to lighten the strain on his eyes. His chair creaks as he leans back and glances outside the window. Like most nights lately, only the stars keep him company tonight.

His courses shifted to an online-only remote format due to the need for social distancing. Despite the initial confidence he displayed to his boss and colleagues over the change, Taehyung is more unsure than ever. Frustration sneaks its way into his mind like a viper wrapped around its squirming prey. His life has turned into a turbulent sea of e-mails and complaints from upset students. What’s the best way for him to support his students? How can he assure them that their mental health is more important than any essay or assignment they’ll ever complete?

A sudden knock at the door steals his attention. Jungkook, his roommate and best friend, leans against the doorway with crossed arms. “Professor Kim,” he begins with a smirk. “Do you have a minute to speak?”

“What’s up?” asks Taehyung, ignoring his friend’s use of the name his students address him with.

“Did you see Jimin’s text? He invited us over for drinks at his apartment. Are you coming?”

“Can’t,” answers Taehyung. His computer glows in his peripheral vision. “I have—“

“Emails to write, work to do. I get it, you’re a busy man.” Jungkook shrugs. “I thought I’d ask anyway since it’s Saturday night.”

“Maybe next time.” Guilt floods Taehyung’s chest and makes it difficult to look Jungkook directly in the eye. Not only is he a shitty professor but he’s a shitty friend, too.

Jungkook finally steps inside the room, occasionally tinkering with Taehyung’s things until he reaches his desk. “Whatever. I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”

“Why?”

“Why?” Jungkook’s already-large doe eyes go wider. “Because all you do is sit at that damn computer all day!”

“I have to teach classes online, what do you expect?”

“It’s not healthy. You barely even leave your room to eat.”

“Who are you, the food police?”

“No, I’m your best friend,” Jungkook answers. “When was the last time you did anything fun? Or normal? You’re twenty-six, Tae, not a hundred and six.”

Taehyung sighs. “I can’t think about any of that right now. Actually, I should get back to my work...”

Jungkook takes the hint and leaves, but not without shooting a glare that makes Taehyung regret his choice of words. He can’t worry about it right now though—not when he has a call planned with you in about two minutes.

He was surprised to see an email from you in his inbox yesterday. You’re one of the students that hasn’t reached out all semester unlike most of the others in his courses. He knows just what kind of student you are: the type who floats through classes quietly but still gets high marks. You’re an older student. You fade into the background by avoiding the attention of your peers but your work stands out, therefore, you do too. He recognizes it because he was that student, too.

Taehyung opens the app for the call, expecting you to pick up after a minute or two but you answer within seconds. “Hello,” he greets you.

You tuck a stand of hair behind your ear and speak but no sound follows the movement of your mouth. He waits but nothing changes.

Taehyung clears his throat. “I think your microphone is off,” he says and types the same words into the chat box at the bottom of his screen.

You squint as you bring your face closer to the monitor. “Can you hear me now?”

He smiles. “Perfect. So, how are you doing? How’s the semester been so far?”

You shrug. “It’s been okay. I’m just trying my best, you know? What about you?”

“Pretty much the same. There’s nothing to do besides read and grade assignments.”

“I wanted to talk to you about the midterm, actually...” your voice fades out and your eyes drift away from the camera. He digs through his memory for what you wrote but his mind comes out empty-handed.

“Let me pull it up on my computer.” He searches through his saved files and documents.

“Oh, you don’t have to do all of that.” You pause for a few seconds. “It’s about my grade.”

“Let’s see... B-plus. Nice work.” When he looks away from your paper, he catches you frowning.

“Could you give me some feedback on it?” you ask.

“I left a few comments on the side,” he answers, eyes still glued to the document. He exits the window and focuses on your face once again. “I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you. You’re a lovely writer.”

“Not good enough if I can only get B-pluses,” you answer with a sigh. Taehyung sits up in his chair, surprised by your shift in tone.

Are you looking for an explanation? A justification for the grades he’s given you? “Most students would be satisfied with a B-plus in an almost graduate level course.”

“With all due respect, sir, I’m not your other students.”

His brows twitches. “Oh?”

“I don’t know how to say this without sounding like an arrogant jerk but I’m not used to getting anything lower than an A on my papers. The fact that I’m about to graduate and can’t hack yours is pretty... frustrating.”

He presses his lips together. “I don’t know what to tell you.” What do you want to hear? Can anything he’ll say wipe that glare off your face? It’s interesting to see you lose your cool after all this time.

You refuse to back down from the challenge. In this impromptu staring contest, your brown eyes penetrate his through the computer screen.

Taehyung decides to give in. Slightly. “One thing I will say,” he continues, “is that I’m particularly tough on my best students. If I gave you an A-plus on every essay you handed in, what would you work up to? There’s no doubt about the strength of your writing.”

Your expression changes immediately. “Oh,” is the only word that leaves your lips. The lines of anger decorating your forehead smooth out as your mouth eases into a relieved smile.

It’s in this moment that Taehyung finds himself looking at you. Truly looking at you.

There’s something about the determination in your face as you plead your case, as though nothing else in the world matters more. Your glossy, heart-shaped lips possess a reddish tint that reminds him of cherries, or rubies. Even through the pixels on the computer screen, you retain the same freshness he remembers from a few months ago, if not more now.

All this time on the computer has gone to your head, he thinks to himself. Perhaps there’s still a chance for him to catch up to Jungkook and the others.

A giggle erupts from your side of the call. “So my papers are good? And here I thought I wasn’t good enough for you.”

“I didn’t mean to make you suffer,” he murmurs and runs a hand through the waves in his raven hair. His eyelids flutter closed as he sinks into his chair and stretches his arms. Finally, a meeting he can consider a success; a meeting where the student leaves the call less frustrated than when it began. He prepares to end the call and log off for the night.

Then he hears it.

It’s faint and quiet and quick but he hears it, as if all sounds in the world were turned off and yours was amplified. The sound echoes in his mind as though you were right there beside him: “If only you knew how you make me suffer.”

This progression of thoughts occurs in a matter of seconds. By the time he’s processed your statement, his eyes have been forced open and any chance of relaxation for the rest of the night disappears into thin air.

“What?” he asks, voice betraying the casualness he wishes to exude.

“Oh, nothing.” You blink innocently, long lashes fluttering like a pair of butterfly wings. “I just care about your opinion, Professor Kim, if you can’t tell.”

“Right...” His eyes trail to the messy display of pens and papers spread out across his desk—anything to avoid your gaze. Its intensity has multiplied a thousandfold and threatens to melt him like a popsicle in the sun. He ignores the surge of anxious heat flowing through his veins.

“I mean,” you continue, lips pursed. “Who doesn’t love hearing a little bit of praise every once in a while, right?”

Your statement hangs in the air for what feels like an eternity. His shirt suddenly squeezes his torso. His pants suffocate his thighs. The room feels like a furnace and dizzying all at once, but the tension in the air keeps him in the moment.

“What are you doing?” he finally asks.

All the blood drains from your face and your limbs freeze. You hold your hands up in the air. “I’m sorry, professor. I didn’t mean to—“

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” warns Taehyung. A new fire fuels his gaze. With his thick brows, chiseled face, and beautiful black hair to match, your professor is a flame and you’ve been dying to get burned since you first laid eyes on him.

You pull off your hoodie and toss it onto the ground behind you. With a small tug of your index finger, you adjust the spaghetti straps of your pink tank top, underneath which you wear no bra. Your nipples prick at the thin fabric that stretches with each of your breaths.

“You deserve so much more than a little bit of praise,” he murmurs, erasing any doubts over your advances towards him.

“I do?”

“Mmhmm. Especially since you’ve been such a good girl.”

This man couldn’t possibly be the same one that lectured your class all semester. Something sinful replaces the innocent, awkward mannerisms you’ve grown to know over time. No more does he hesitate with his words or actions. Instead, he leans towards the camera with his shoulders pushed back. You’re greeted by his neck and the tan slope of his chest that hides beneath the loose collar of his button-down. You want nothing more than to rip off his shirt with your bare hands. For now, you can only imagine what lies beneath.

“Good girls deserve rewards,” he says with a swipe of his tongue across his plump bottom lip, snapping you out of your daze.

“What should I do?” you ask and glance at your closed bedroom door. Fortunately, you locked it before the call started. You don’t want any intrusions from your roommate.

“You should wind down and take care of yourself. You’ve been working so hard.” His eyes dart down to your tank top. “Close your eyes and imagine it’s me worshipping your chest.”

Your eyes fall closed as your hands drift to the hem of your top. Your fingertips graze your stomach and stop when your skin begins to slope up into the mounds of your breasts. “What would you do if you were here with me right now?”

He doesn’t miss a beat. “I’d make it my mission to kiss every part of you but first, I’d focus on those beautiful breasts of yours. They’d fit in my hands perfectly.”

With your left hand, you grasp one breast and tighten your grip just the slightest bit. The squeeze forces a sigh from your lips and although your eyes are closed, Taehyung struggles to control his own breathing as he watches you begin to unfold. With the other hand, you bring two fingers to your mouth and coat them in saliva only to bring them down to your nipples which harden with each squeeze and stroke.

Taehyung swallows in anticipation. “Just like that. Keep going.”

“Wait, what about you?” you ask, voice raspy and slightly out of breath.

“What about me?”

“I’m not the only one who deserves a reward.”

“Watching you wriggle and writhe in desire is enough for me.”

You cross your arms. “Nope.”

He chuckles. “What do you suggest I do, then?”

“I want you to fuck yourself with your hand and imagine it’s my pussy squeezing the life out of you.”

Your words knock the air out of Taehyung’s lungs but he manages to recover quickly. “You may be a good girl but you’ve got a dirty mouth.”

You smirk. “What are you going to do about it?”

The sound of his metal belt buckle clinks from his end. “Touch yourself right now. Play with your clit and we’ll see if you’ve still got that nasty mouth of yours when you’re begging me to cum.”

You raise your brows. “I fully intend on cumming at least once in your presence tonight, professor, whether I have your permission or not.”

“Call me Taehyung.” He takes a moment to reflect on the current situation versus the dynamic you had only minutes ago. “Why now? Why did you initiate—”

“My grades go above all else. I didn’t want to jeopardize any of that,” you answer. “And I also waited for your sake.”

“My sake? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were doing this to secure your grades,” he muses.

“Nothing boosts my ego like getting an A-plus based solely off my hard work,” you answer. “Fucking my hot professor is for my own personal pleasure.”

You description makes it sound so typical, just another everyday thing like washing the dishes. Are you using him? Deep inside, the thought of you using him arouses him. He wants to be used by you.

“You’re gorgeous,” he whispers, suddenly absorbed by you and the way you carefully orchestrated this interaction. How long did you think about this moment? Were you afraid of rejection?

“I know. Everyone likes me but I always want what I can’t have.” You wink. “Life’s more fun that way.”

Fun. “Enough talk. Let me see.”

“Yes, of course,” you stutter, caught off guard by the sudden shift in conversation. You don’t mind his demands or commanding tone. In fact, you invite them.

“Slide back,” he instructs you. “I want to see everything.”

You swallow and obey immediately, rising to pull your chair further away from the camera. You take the chance to slip off your sweatpants which leaves you in nothing but your underwear and tank top. Your underwear isn’t fancy but it’s what’s below that he’s interested in.

You lower yourself onto the seat, not bothering to keep your legs pressed together. You spread your knees slowly, as if your legs were a book with pages waiting to be read.

“Good. Open up more and show me how bad you want it,” he says. The smile in his voice urges you on.

Your hand creeps along the stretchy waistband of your underwear. The material works against you, forcing your wrist against your pelvis and the area you so desperately wish to touch. You have to be patient since you seek to milk this moment for as long as possible.

Your middle finger searches for any sign of dampness and you gasp when you find a small pool already built up at your core. When you look back at the monitor to see what he’d like you to do next, you watch as he adjusts himself into a similar position to yours.

“Your turn. Take off your shirt,” you instruct.

He raises his eyebrows. A mischievous smile dawns on his face. “Why?”

“Because I said so.”

“So demanding. That’s what got us here in the first place,” he remarks but proceeds to unbutton his shirt.

“I’m not afraid to go out and get what I want.”

“I know, and I admire you for it,” he says. His shirt begins to crinkle as he unbuttons lower and lower until eventually, the front parts to reveal his chest. His abs are soft and his warm honey skin looks smooth. You wonder what it would it taste like.

As he rolls up his sleeves, you observe every movement of his hands. They’re large. One of the first things you noticed about him when he spoke in class and lead discussions. You always wondered what his hands would look like if they were doing something else entirely... Now, your fantasies have come to life.

You force your jaw closed but he’s already caught you staring. “Like what you see?” he asks through his low lids.

“Oh, please. As if you don’t know you’re attractive as hell.”

A low laugh emerges from the man and you smile. If only you could bottle it up and keep it. When he reaches into his pants, you follow along, taking the slick from your finger up to your clit in one smooth stroke. You hum and bite at your lips to contain your reaction.

He shakes his head. “Don’t hide it. You sound beautiful.”

Your other hand starts to wander as you go to work on your clit. From your head to your chest, you seek something to ground you as your soft bud puffs with pleasure. No longer does it hide, tucked away beneath the crevices of your lips. You grind against it using your hand and a slow swivel of your hips from left to right.

“You’re doing so good. I’m so proud of you,” coos Taehyung. “Your body was made for this. For pleasure.”

The sight of him gripping the base of his cock is almost enough to send you over. A light glaze of sweat builds on your forehead but you make no effort to wipe it. Taehyung wishes to feel the heat of your body on his. It’s probably better than anything he could ever imagine.

Perhaps now more than ever, he longs for the days before the virus took over and broke everyone apart. He misses those times so much he could cry, especially since he took them for granted. At the same time though, he thinks about the effort those close to him have made to keep in contact. Even old friends he hadn’t spoken to in years called to catch up with him. His students have stuck out the most out of anyone. One or two of them don’t even own laptops but they show up to class on time and bring their A-game. He believes he should take a note or two from them.

As he studies you, the way you squirm in delight, and the way your body responds to the ministrations of your hand, a wave of relief washes over him. If it weren’t for these circumstances, he wouldn’t have had this moment with you.

“Taehyung,” you moan, bringing him back.

The sound of you calling his name shoots heat straight to his cock. With the precum glistening at the top, he grabs his cock and works the tip using his thumb. “Fuck. Look at what you do to me,” he groans at the sensitivity.

“Please,” you take in a breath and continue, “t-tell me more.”

If praise is what you want, praise is what you’ll get. “You’re so hardworking in everything that you do. Look at you now. Touching yourself just for me.”

“Yes, yes.” You moan as your fingers settle into the one position that feels like you’ve struck gold.

“How far inside can those fingers go? I bet you can put them in real deep.”

It’s as though your hands were waiting for his approval. You slip inside your clenching, gaping hole using two fingers. They slide in easily but the initial stretch is foreign since it’s been so long.

Taehyung groans and for the first time tonight, you begin to see him lose control. His cool exterior sinks into the pleasure of his hand—and of you—leaving him a sweaty, desirable mess. His hair sticks to his forehead and his stomach clenches with each stroke of his hand. He moves slowly, trying to match the pace of your hand. You pick up speed and allow your body to move against the rhythm of your hand. Your insides feel warm and soft and slippery. You close your eyes and imagine he’s the one fingering you with those gorgeous hands of his.

The rubber band of pleasure in your stomach begins to stretch. The squelch of your pussy grows louder with each passing second.

Taehyung is well-endowed but never did you imagine his dick would expand so much in length and girth. He could spear your pussy in one fell swoop, destroying your insides and anything else that gets in his way.

“Taehyung, I’m close,” you say with a sigh. You barely have the energy to speak.

“Fuck, me too,” he adds. “I’m almost there. Cum with me.”

His hand travels from base to tip and each part of the journey is smoother than the last. He massages each vein and ripple and moves even faster when he catches a glimpse of the uneven quiver of your thighs. Heat churns in his stomach and all he can do is chase it desperately. He needs it like oxygen, to breathe in the sight of you along with the pleasure of his nether regions.

The rubber band snaps. It strikes you in waves, each crash stronger the last. You let the waves overtake you and succumb to the burst of pleasure spreading through your limbs. You pull out your hand and clench around nothing as the sensitivity forces your legs closed.

Just when you thought things were over, Taehyung makes a request: “Taste it.”

You waste no time in taking your fingers to your mouth, gliding your tongue on the pads of your fingertips, and spreading the salty fluid in your mouth. All you can focus on is the heavenly sight of Taehyung coming. Each breath he lets out comes with a moan. You swear you can feel the vibration of his low voice against your own chest. His hair covers his eyes but you know they’re closed in pleasure. He intakes one sharp breath before it finally takes him over.

He can feel nothing but release. Release of stress. Release of work. Release of anything except you. As white spurts of cum squirt from his dick in a messy stream of strings, all you can think about is the beauty of his body.

“This was fun,” you admit with a smile. “I’m glad my attempt didn’t flop.”

“No, that would’ve been a huge mistake on my part.”

As you look down, your eyelashes brush the top of your cheeks and you bite your lip in anticipation. “I know I’m graduating and all, but we should do this again sometime. If you’re interested.”

He rests his elbows on his desk and brings himself closer to the camera. With his hand holding the side of his face, he takes in the sweet sight of you. “Did you enjoy it that much?”

“Oh yes. In fact, unlike some people, I’d give you an A-plus.”

[spencerreidslove]

Staycation

A/N: Just some pure tooth rotting fluff for these quarantine times. Reminder to stay safe and wear a mask in public.

————-

Week 1

“Maybe it won’t be so bad.” Spencer said.

You had to go into quarantine and your best friend was trying to convince you that it wouldn’t be bad.

“How? I’m a high school teacher who suddenly has to teach on zoom, and I live alone. I don’t even have like, a cat!” You said.

“I live alone too! And as far as we know, this’ll be over in two weeks and you’ll be back in the classroom in no time.” Spencer said, placing his hands on your shoulders.

You were currently in Spencer’s apartment, freaking out over the email you had gotten from the school you worked at, saying they were going to be closing for two weeks. Stupid virus.

Spencer and you had met two years ago in a bookstore when you ‘fought’ over the last copy of a book. You ended up getting it, but you also left with a phone number that would turn into your best friend’s phone number.

“I’ve got the best idea!” You said, suddenly.

“What?” Spencer asked.

“We could quarantine together!” You said.

“What? That seems like it goes against the rules of quarantine.” Spencer said.

“Think about it! It won’t be that long, and we both live alone. To save us from going insane, we could quarantine together!” You said.

Spencer seemed to be warming up to the idea. “Who’s apartment would we stay at?” He asked.

“Well...your apartment is bigger than mine. And you have a guest bedroom. And you have a washer and dryer already in your apartment.” You said.

“Fine. You can stay in my guest room for the few weeks we’ll be here.” Spencer said. “We can go grab your stuff later.”

“Oh this is going to be the best staycation ever!” You said.

Week 2

“This staycation sucks ass.” You said, dangling over the couch.

“Aren’t you supposed to go back to school soon?” Spencer asked from his desk. The last week had been fun, but being in the same apartment while both trying to do your jobs was hard.

“No. We got pushed back again. They said maybe by mid-April we’ll go back.” You said.

Spencer’s job at the FBI was changing too. For the safety of the team, they had stopped traveling and were only doing consults from their homes. The team also had a zoom meeting everyday, which meant sitting in your guest room for a very long time.

“That sucks. How are your students reacting?” Spencer asked.

“Eh. They say they love getting to catch up on all their Netflix shows, but some say they miss me, which warms my cold dead heart.” You said.

You flipped off the couch and went over to Spencer’s desk.

“I have a good idea.” You said. “How about tonight we stay up late and watch as many episodes of Doctor Who as we can?”

“That’s the best idea you’ve ever had.” Spencer said.

Later on, the two of you were settled on his couch, holding a bowl of popcorn and under a blanket. As the episodes went on, you caught yourself looking over at Spencer periodically.

His curls had gotten more wild, and you had never noticed the shape of his jaw before.

“Y/N?” He asked. You hadn’t realized he caught you staring at him.

“Sorry, I just zoned out there for a minute.” You said.

Week 3

You were on a zoom call with your third period class, going over Manifest Destiny. Spencer’s call with his team was later in the day so you actually got to do the call from the office for once.

Spencer had stepped in a few minutes ago to grab a book off his shelves, and was now looking at the shelves behind you.

“Can anyone name the president who really pushed for Manifest Destiny?” You asked.

“James K. Polk.” Spencer said from behind you without hesitating.

“Spencer, last time I checked, you weren’t enrolled in my third period American Studies class.” You said.

This caused a few laughed from your class.

“Sorry.” He said before slipping out of the office and back towards the kitchen.

One of the girls on your screen raised her hand.

“Yes, Amelia.” You said.

“Is he your boyfriend, Miss Y/L/N?” She asked.

You felt your face flush. “I-uh-no. Spencer’s just my friend.” You said. Wanting to change the subject as quickly as possible you moved on to your next question.

Later, when you were watching some random reality tv show, you thought about it. Sure, you really like Spencer, but enough to date him?

Maybe there was something there.

Week 4

“Ugh!” You called out, slamming your phone down on the kitchen island.

“You ok, Y/N?” Spencer asked.

“No! No, I’m not ok! I just found out we’re going to be doing online for the rest of the year!” You said. “It sucks. I had so many fun activities planned and I was so excited for the end of the year and I just-“

You stopped as you felt tears well up in your eyes. It was only your second year as a teacher and you were really looking forward to redoing some of your favorite things from last year and some new activities.

“Oh, Y/N, I’m sorry.” Spencer said. He came up beside you and wrapped his arms around you.

You fell into his embrace and you two stood like that for a few minutes, Spencer holding on to you, you crying into his shoulder.

When he pulled away, he wiped the tears from under your eyes.

“How about a nice long marathon of whatever show you like?” Spencer asked.

“Even if it’s cheesy and stupid?” You asked.

“Especially if it’s cheesy and stupid.” Spencer said, pulling you in for another hug.

Week 5

“Can I give you a haircut?” You asked.

“Absolutely not.” Spencer said.

You were standing behind him, and you ran your hand through his hair. “It’s getting really long though! I promise I won’t mess it up!” You said.

“No, I draw the line at haircutting. Have you ever even cut hair before?” Spencer asked.

“Once. On a Barbie doll.” You said.

“So no. You are not cutting my hair.” Spencer said.

You moved so you were sitting next to him and did your best puppy dog eyes. “Just a couple inches?” You asked.

You sat staring at him for a few seconds before he sighed.

“Fine. Two inches.” He said.

“Yay!” You said.

A few minutes later you were in the bathroom, Spencer sitting in a chair, you holding the best pair of scissors you could find.

“I’m so glad you let me do this.” You said, brushing through his hair.

“Only because you’re my best friend.” He said.

You smiled and grabbed the scissors, and started cutting the back of his hair.

“Be careful. That sounds like a lot.” Spencer said.

“Calm down, it’s like an inch-maybe two.” You said.

You worked in silence for a few seconds before coming around to his side. You cut some peices and then kneeled down in front of him. You were now eye level.

You brought a few pieces of his hair over to the other side, in an attempt to make it even. You didn’t even realize that Spencer was looking at you until you let go of his hair.

“Hi.” You whispered.

“Hi.” Spencer whispered back.

Suddenly, he was leaning forward, but not all the way. Kind of like a signal, if you didn’t want this, you could still pull away.

But you didn’t pull away. You wanted this. You leaned closer and pressed your lips to his. Spencer pulled away after a few seconds, and then smiled at you.

“I’m really glad you gave me a haircut.” Spencer said.

“I’m really glad you agreed to let me stay here with you.” You said.

Tags!

@rexorangecouny @magnificentmgg

[rhiezus]

Special Q&A with Moon Nayoung.

now that you’re not an actress anymore, the world is dying to know: what is moon nayoung doing?

what a pesky devil of you. it’s not like i’m very busy but it’s not i want to be busy, so eating well, sleeping well, travelling, picking different hobbies, spending a lot of time on youtube. i’m unemployed, but gladly.

do you ever plan on acting again?

noo, i loved acting but that phase of my life is over. i am ready to be myself and no else for quite some time. i encourage acting though, it’s an exercise and it was an experience.

we saw your cat a lot on your social media, what’s is their name?

oh, when we started this i was crossing my fingers thinking: please talk about my cats. in all forms expect physical, i’m a cat. so i found manwol in a shelter, she looked me in the eye suspiciously and i thought “she is testing me”, so i took her home to complete her task. she is always watching me, i don’t know if like a affectionate way, however she is very jealous of the people around me and for that reason i think we identify with each other. i don’t remember my boyfriend’s cat names though, he has many and they just keep adding, i just call them what i feel like calling them and they always answer, it’s like an unspoken connection.

when are you and keun getting married though?

it’s that a thing you’d like to see? think we should live it for the world and charge a few to enter the livestream?

what’s the most used app on your phone?

it’s between my yoga app, subway surfaces and piano tiles. people often underestimate how good i am with phone games, not that i am bragging but i’ve had years of boredom and that adds to the experience.

we heard you like cooking, what’s your favorite dish to cook right now?

my favorite thing to cook... is spaghetti, there is like a hundred ways to do them differently and i love noodles. garlicky spaghetti, vegetable spaghetti, crock-pot spaghetti, the famous carbonara... there is baked spaghetti, it’s one of my favorites, chicken spaghetti, there is even a million dollar spaghetti that’s great and super easy. but last week i aced the tagine, it’s from maroccos. fun fact is most people think the word tagine is the meal itself but tagine is actually the cookware used to cook the meal. the reason for using a tagine is to make a dish tender and bring out its natural flavors. 

what’s the place you want to travel the most?

i would love to go somewhere on the american continent, because their food is rich and it’s very different from asia but at the same time i don’t like travelling for long periods and spending too much time on a plane. i would like to see mexico or argentina, maybe even cuba too. 

which of your friends are you most proud of? and why?

i don’t have that many friends, it’s not that hard to choose between them. the one that most accomplished things this year was bonghu, but that’s mainly because she got pregnant and i admire her nerve. she is a great friend, mom, person, woman and all in general so that makes me proud. 

what’s the song you sing along when you hear it?

ring ring.

who is the last person you texted? and what as the text about?

it was my friend group, i send a bear emoji with a blinking heart. i can’t recall what was the conversation about, it just called for a cute bear emoji.

how is your morning routine? 

i wake up, look into my phone for like fifteen minutes to an hour (there is no in-between), i go pee and take a shower, do my skincare, feed the cats, cook breakfast, eat breakfast, go jogging or hit the gym. now in quarantine i would do yoga at home, but since it’s better now i just go jogging again. and that takes about my whole morning.

who was your first celebrity crush?

i think it was patrick swayze, but also harrison ford. 

what’s on your mind like right now?

this. i mean? what else? i don’t know. 

what do you spent way too much money on?

masterclass online classes! i find it so interesting even though i know i don’t have the vocation of being a professional in that area, i mean... it’s just so great. i started paying for gordon ramsey’s classes, because i love that man but now i think i’ve even seen natalie portamn, anna wintour and even usher’s classes. 

what’s the most cringy worthy thing you’ve seen someone post on social media?

i’m not one to judge cause all i have are cats and food, and that’s the most cringy worthy you can ever get on social media but i hate when people do this long captions like, no one is gonna read it and they know it but they just do that too sound smart and meaningful. i mean there’s nothing you can really say that can’t be said in private, right? i don’t know.

what was the last show you binge-watched?

finished you a few days ago, don’t know if it was worth it, but i did it anyways. there was stranger too, season two was very well done.

what is your favorite item of clothing?

my favorite item of clothing? hm, i think is black high waist pants because one) it’s comfy. two) it’s cheap. 3) it goes with anything in your wardrobe. 4) and with any weather or mood.  

what are you passionate about?

i think... i’m passionate about just living, i mean. focusing on the present feeling and go from there, you know?! no need to be anxious about things you can’t see, while being responsible about the things you do right now and just work with that, like, make your lemonades. 

what’s the best part of your 20′s? what are you taking from this age?

hm. there is a lot of figuring out, from yourself and from others, nothing is certain and everything is fragile but also soothing and exciting. like there is many things i wanna do but also i don’t feel like doing, it’s a contradictory age that’s just hard to understand. i was not one to feel nostalgic or regret things, but as you get older you start to do that and you have to remind yourself that is a way to learn and be better. so for me, the best part is truly looking at yourself differently everyday, changing is inevitable so you have to keep remembering who you are and what you stand for in order to keep going. i hope that i am taking a better person from this. also make good friends, that’s probably the best advice and best part of your 20′s.

who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

i don’t have many deep conversations, i am more the type that listens. but when i do it’s just thoughts, like now in this interview. so probably my last deep conversation is this, because you’re asking me things that are hard not to be deep about.

best advice you received from someone.

advice’s can be fragile and change from time to time, so the only one i think is right is about being kind to others, that sounds basic but that’s because it’s suppose to be. 

what’s the one food you can’t bring yourself to eat?

funny enough, i don’t like egg. like fried egg, i mean if it’s in the food and as an ingredient, i don’t really mind but as a meal itself... i don’t really like it. i don’t care for tofu either, i can eat it though.

if you were in a band, what kind of music would you play?

i would go for r&b but it would become popular quick so i’d have to make it pop but with still a little r&b vibe, know what i mean? but i can’t really sing, or play any instrument.

if it would have a movie about your life, what would be the title?

did you listen to folklore, the taylor swift album? i came across mad woman, and i really like that song, i think something like that... it doesn’t need to be something big and meaningful, just moon nayoung it’s fine. but i don’t want a movie about my life, there is many other important stories to tell.

do you believe in astrology? 

i don’t really have an opinion. i’m a sagittarius, who are suppose to be really free spirits, curious and idealistic, which i don’t know if it’s me or not. so i think is funny but i don’t really care.

do you consider yourself romantic? what’s the most romantic gesture you have done?

me? i don’t know. i don’t think i do things in name of romance, i do them because i want to. that sounds sooo bitter, but i swear it’s not! i may be a romantic though, but i am not hopeless, at least not anymore. cooking for your partner counts as big romantic gesture? cause i’ve done that a lot.

what was your favorite book as a child?

peter pan and little women. i probably didn’t wanna grew up, right?!

do you prefer baths or showers?

i like both, but i prefer showers because it takes less time and it’s more practical. cold showers in the summer all the way.

tell something you learn that you wish more people would too.

pay your bills before due date, mark them on your calendar or something and try to pay them before it’s due. even if it leave you broke for a few days, if you take your time it will only make you more lazy and it will become a habit. 

now leave us with a secret that no one knows about you.

there is not much people don’t know about me anymore and if there is, that’s the reason why it’s a secret, am i right? but maybe i call tell you that i already cheated on a text or something, cause that’s all i have for you. sorry.

[chirpyblues]

To the covid-19 during 11th standard, year 2020,

You were a total unexpected surprise, weren't you? And not of the good kind. You introduced us to zoom and google meet classes. You introduced us to the laziness of logging into classes with our mics and cameras off and just wandering around somewhere totally else. You made us stay home and sleep, binge, eat and procrastinate more than we'd have ever imagined we'd get to do. You made us realise the value of meeting people on a daily basis, of getting to leave our houses even if it meant only to run errands, of travelling and getting to go new places even if they're nearby, and of so many more little things which I don't think we'd have learnt to value otherwise.

You played a great game of divide and rule yet you somehow brought us closer to the people we were meant to be close to. Phone calls and video calls were the only reminders that there are some more of your people that exist too, outside of your house, who are just a little far away. Texts became something similar to oxygen. Don't even get me started on the value of ott apps, social media and youtube. We learnt the maps of our houses way too well and of our housemates, too.

But, despite everything, we soared through. Right now, we are standing at the end of the first completely online school session we had and there are two thoughts taking over my mind; one being whether we will get to live life as we know it now or you'll act out again, and two being how the year would have been if you hadn't done all that you did. The Year That Couldn't Be or The Year That Was Quarantined. I would definitely not be the person I am today, if it weren't for you. Thanks for bringing unexpected changes within me through your bizarre ways to give people lessons. You've done all your work here, and had more fun than you deserve, actually you deserve no fun. Why don't you exit now and call it a night?

If only it were possible to somehow kill you by beating you up, I think I'd be the first person to leap at the opportunity and asphyxiate you. You caused a lot of pain and suffering around here, and all the good that did happen was more of a glass half full perspective of ours than any of your doing. Not to sound aggressive or annoyed (which I am), but kindly leave so we can live, with our hopes of our future lives and years not being let down by some itty virus that has taken lives like they mean nothing.

This year was an adventure, but it needs to be over now, for everybody's good, and so do you.

Hoping that you'd leave us asap,

another covid-19 warrior.

~ shreeya. //survivor//

[teacherimagines]

Social Distancing

Male tc x Female reader

T/C/N = teacher crush’s name

Y/N = your name

Masterlist

Enjoy!

——————

This quarantine has been driving you crazy. Not only mentally, but also emotionally, physically, and sexually. Going from seeing T/C/N everyday to suddenly not put you in shock. You see him once in a while, on Zoom calls with multiple students. You can’t get his sole attention anymore. You can’t have those innocent glances. You can’t smell his cologne. The cute outfits you wear don’t matter. This was your senior year, and it was all just horrible timing. You’ve probably seen T/C/N for the last time already.

Today was finals, and you finished writing your last essay. As soon as you hit submit, you closed your laptop and laid back on your bed. Another school year for the books. You took a deep breath as you felt the stress roll off of your shoulders. But then a notification went off on your laptop. You felt all the stress creep back, but then you saw that it was an email from T/C/N.

Good Afternoon Y/N,

I hope you have been making it steady through these stressful times. I’ve missed having class with you, you’re a student who reminds me why I teach. Anyways, it’s been an honor getting to know you. I wanted to offer to keep in touch after you graduate, which is why I sent this through my personal email. I want to see how amazing you will do in college and continue our always wonderful conversations.

Best,

T/C/N

You felt butterflies as you read the email. You couldn’t believe your eyes. You replied to his email, taking him up on his offer. He was delighted to hear this, as expected, and the two of you were off to a new chapter in your lives.

The two of you emailed a few times a week, talking about whatever is on your mind and keeping the conversations entertaining. You suggested the idea of meeting in person one day to hang out, but T/C/N seemed unsure about it. You reassured him that you’d be wearing a mask and staying six feet of distance from him. You also said that you could go to a nearby cafe, which has outdoor seating. Sure enough, you were able to convince him to meet up with you.

When the day finally came, you suddenly felt anxious. What were you going to wear? What if today is a fluke and the outfit you wear today is the one he remembers you by? After all the emails, does he still think of you the same? Or has some new sort of fondness developed? What were you going to talk about? How will you keep conversations interesting? What were you going to order? Who’s going to pay? All of these questions flooded your busy mind as you sat on your bed, surrounded by a mountain of clothes.

You ended up choosing one of your favorite outfits, reviewing the emails, reading the news and internet for conversation topics, looking at the cafe menu online, and borrowing $20 from your mom. These tasks answered all of your questions except one: how does he feel about you now?

You drove to the cafe, where T/C/N met you promptly. As soon as you saw him, you felt that familiar, butterfly feeling you would feel when you saw him in the halls at school. When his eyes met yours, he smiled and walked over. “Hi Y/N. Lovely to see you again.” You smiled under your mask. “Hello, T/C/N, good to see you. Now, let’s get coffee.” You jumped to the chase because your mind went blank. You had a million and one things to tell him but being in his presence seemed to clear them all away for you.

You ordered your coffees without hassle, and then sat outside at a table. “Well, Y/N I have to say I am impressed with how well you’re doing. Most kids your age are having a rough time right now.” You nod. “I think it’s because the people in my life are so amazing, it just takes all the stress away.” And when you said people, you actually just meant one person, T/C/N.

The two of you spent a whole hour discussing politics, mental health, and art. It was intellectual, yet personal at the same time. You got to know each other better through the conversation. You forgot how much time had passed until T/C/N realized he had an appointment. “Listen, Y/N. I had a really great time today. Can we make this a thing? Every Friday at 2:00 we meet here?” You agreed. You were so excited that this meeting went well, and that he initiated more.

About a month passed, and each meeting became better and better as the two of you became more comfortable with each other. Somehow, one of the recent conversations turned to dating, and both of you admitted you were single. It didn’t go any further than there, but you realized that either of you could make a move at this point.

At your next meeting, T/C/N suggested a change of scenery, which caught you by surprise. “Like where?” You asked, confused. “Possibly a resturant, or a park or something. Just so we can have new experiences together or something. I don’t know. It’s totally up to you Y/N. Whatever you are comfortable with.” You nodded. “Okay, how about we go out to eat? We could go to applebees.” T/C/N smiled as he sipped a cup of coffee. “It’s a date.” The phrase made your stomach do somersaults. It’s a date. You went home that night in the best mood. You kept repeating the sound of his voice in your head.

When your ‘date’ finally arrived, you were a bit of a nervous wreck. You tried to keep as calm, cool, and collected as possible. You just tried to be the normal Y/N that T/C/N knows. However, T/C/N was not being normal, he was being flirty. You think your nervousness showed a bit. T/C/N probably picked up on this, but didn’t say anything. However, he did offer to take you out on another date, which you gladly accepted. The second one wasn’t as bad, it felt normal like at the cafe. You got used to the flirting, and what responses sounded best.

For your third date, you went mini golfing, where you totally crushed him. It was a good day of laughter and genuine fun. When you were at the last hole, you felt T/C/N’s eyes on you. You couldn’t concentrate on hitting the ball. “What is it?” You look up from the ball to T/C/N’s kind eyes. “Just taking in the beautiful view.” He said simply. “Want to see something more beautiful?” You asked him. “I’d like to see you try.” You couldn’t tell if he was smirking under his mask or not. You bit your lip in concentration as you hit the golf ball and made a hole in one. You jumped out of excitement. “Yes!” T/C/N laughed. “Yes, the view of you in pure joy was more beautiful.” He admitted. You both got quiet for a moment. “Y/N, I’m sorry I just can’t take it anymore.” He took off his mask. He walked towards you slowly. “May I remove your mask?” He asked quietly. You nodded. He gently brought his hands up to pull off your mask. His fingertips gently brushed your ears, leaving a slight tingly sensation. You took a breath of fresh air and smiled. “That’s better.” He said. “Y/N, can I do one more thing? Can I kiss you?” You nodded again. “Yes.” He slowly closed the gap between the two of you and cupped your cheeks with his hands. You closed your eyes and parted your lips. You felt his breath hover over your lips, leaving you in anticipation. Just kiss me already. You said in your head as if you hadn’t been saying it for a few weeks, or months rather. His lips finally touched yours, and you took in their plump sweetness. It was pure bliss kissing him. Your hands rested on the sides of his torso, and he kept pulling your face towards his. He even slipped a little tongue near the end of the kiss, which left you taken by surprise.

“Um, wow.” You said, and you both chuckled. “Yeah, screw this whole distancing thing.” T/C/N said as he pulled you in for another breathtaking kiss.

————

Thank you for reading! My inbox is open for requests!

[tigerlilyhasablog]

Life During the Apocalypse

Hello darlings! Hope everyone is doing well… Hope you all are safe, healthy and not going too crazy if you are in self isolation. Since I’m stuck in the house with quite a bit of extra time, I’d like to try to blog a bit more than usual. I thought it would be kind of fun to share with you what I have been up to at home, so enjoy: The Day in the Life of a Quarantined Teen.🙃

Remote school

First for the dull stuff. My university moved to remote learning the week of March 6th, and while they originally said it would be “until further notice”, they have since announced that it will be like this for the rest of the semester. It’s definitely more boring than going to class, and I miss going to school and seeing people, but I don’t mind it that much. It’s kinda funny, ’cause I was homeschooled for most of my life, up until college, so doing this is like going back to the old days of being homeschooled. 🙂 Right now I’m actually on Spring Break, so this week I’m mainly just chillin’.

What I’ve been watching

I’ve been meaning to get Disney+ for eons now, but never got around to it. My sister and I decided that hey, what better time than now? The very first thing that we watched was High School Musical… Don’t judge me.😂 Somehow I had gone through life never having watched this iconic piece of pop culture, but I decided it was time to amend that. What can I say: it is equal amounts completely terrible and utterly amazing.

Finally watched The Mandalorian as well, which is really, genuinely good. I feel so-so about most Star Wars stuff – I don’t dislike it, but I don’t love it – but damn, I got into this show immediately. The way that they’ve made it like a Western? So good. The characters, the visuals, the storyline… 👌🏻 And yes, I would die for Baby Yoda.

Once we finished that season, we began on Agent Carter, and we just finished the first season last night. I felt so-so about it for like, the first two episodes, but after that I got really into it and like, damn, it’s really good! Two thumbs up from me.

Other than Disney, the only other thing that I’ve watched recently is The Miseducation of Cameron Post. It’s been on my want-to-watch list for a while now, and the other day my school gave me access to a site with a bunch of free films on it, one of which was this movie, which I was really excited about. Fuck, it was good. Really hit hard, Chloe Grace Moretz was incredible, as was the rest of the cast, just a really powerful story of course. I liked the indie feel of the whole thing… Sometimes you can just tell, you know? The 90s aesthetic was also great.

What I’ve been listening to

Being stuck in the house has giving me lots of opportunity to listen to music basically all of the time, so let me share some of the stuff I have been loving right now:

Conan Gray’s Kid Krow – I am really loving this album. It is packed with bops, as well as some fantastic sad-boi songs. I’ve liked Conan’s stuff for a bit now, but in a rather passive way… Now I would say that my fan-ness (not a word, I know) has been solidified.

Ed Sheeran – let me introduce you to the little underground indie artist I’ve recently discovered. Haha. It’s kinda funny that I’ve gotten so into Ed lately, cuz I mean, of course I’ve listened to his stuff for a while now. But like, I guess I’ve never delved very deep into his discography? But lately I’ve been listening to the entirety of each of his albums, and I’m a little obsessed. Guess I should have believed the hype sooner, huh?

Alec Benjamin – someone else who I’ve been into for quite a while, but who I’ve been listening to even more lately. His songs have made their way onto “Music of the Month” a couple times already, and I’ll tell you right now that he’s on there this month, too. 🙂 I don’t think he has a single bad song. I have tickets to see him in May, provided corona doesn’t fuck that up, and I’m really excited!

Lauv’s Modern Loneliness – bops. bops. bops. What else can I say? Bops.

Foster the People – ok, this band has such nostalgia for me. Torches was like, all that I listened to in like 2012/13. I hadn’t really listened to them lately, and hadn’t really explored their more recent stuff. But the other day I put on their Spotify playlist and had a dance party to them all afternoon and it made me so fucking happy.

What else I’ve been up to

Spending way too much time on the internet – gotta go ahead and get this one out of the way. I’d love to say that I’ve been super productive and learned a ton of new things and been really creative, but if I’m entirely honest, what I’ve really done is wasted a ton of time on YouTube/Tumblr/TikTok.😬

Drawing – I have gotten some stuff done though! I haven’t used this time for art as much as I’d like, but I’ve been sketching some, and also been playing around with a drawing app… I’ve always been a pencil-and-paper person, but doing it digitally is kinda fun!

My latest project? A vine compilation, of course.😂 Here is the beginnings of it:

Making music – again, not as much as I should be, but I’ve been playing the guitar and singing quite a bit. I’ve been doing it in a very relaxed, just-singing-what-i-want-to kind of way, which is nice. I guess I’ll use this opportunity to plug my Soundcloud (which I rarely post on, oops.)

Working out – I always exercise pretty regularly, but I’ve decided that this is the perfect opportunity to ramp it up a bit. My family and I have been going on walks every day, since that’s the only way we can get out, and I’ve been doing the Chloe Ting 2 Week Shred Challenge. It’s fucking tough, but I’m very excited about getting in shape.

Texting for the Bernie Sanders team – this has been fun! It’s a super-easy way to get involved in a campaign… I’d love to say I could make calls, and I hope to eventually, but it makes me really nervous. But texting is something anyone can do! Basically all campaigns have moved online, so if you have some extra time on your hands, get involved from home, either in a political campaign or something on the activism side of things! You can text, call, do stuff with social media… do it!

Catching up with friends – this one is smaller in terms of how much I’ve been doing it, but I’d just like to remind you that this is a great time to text or call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. I know I often feel weird about just contacting someone out of the blue, but in a strange time such as this I think it is the perfect opportunity to check in with someone and see how they are holding up. Even though we can’t see each other in person, we’ve got to stick together in this tough time and keep up our relationships in a long-distance fashion.

Final thoughts

Okay, that’s all for now! It’s looking like this whole situation is gonna last for a while, so maybe I’ll make another one of these in a few weeks and let you know what else I’ve been up to! I’d just like to end with a little thought:  if you are stuck at home and bored and going a little stir-crazy, please remember that we are privileged to be in this situation. There are some people for whom this means that they are out of work, desperate, scared. There are others who are older or immunocompromised who know that getting the virus could be a matter of life or death. Others are not able to work from home and have no choice but to go out every day and risk getting infected. And others have been forced to go home and be quarantined with abusive family members. Even though this is tough for everyone, if your main problem is that you are bored, make sure you put it into perspective and be grateful that that is your biggest worry.

I hope that didn’t sound preachy, but I just think we have to remember that it could be a lot worse. Now, stay safe, stay healthy, and for fuck sake, don’t go out unless you have to. ❤️

[uncloseted]

Emotional Health and Wellbeing During Isolation/Quarantine

Hi everyone!

I know that a lot of us are currently social distancing, in self-isolation, or in city/state/country mandated quarantine, so I wanted to put together a post about some things you can do to improve your mental health while you’re protecting your physical health.  Some of these have become sort of trendy lately, so apologies if you’ve heard them before, but I’m trying to approach making this list from a place of evidence-based lifestyle changes to improve mental health.

Meditation

Meditation reduces anxiety and depression and improves mood when done over a long period of time.  Start with a free app like Headspace or Calm to learn how to meditate and to get into the habit of meditating regularly.

Journaling

Journaling can help you let go of any shame, anxiety, fear, and anger you might be carrying around with you.  Write your thoughts down somewhere that’s private, whether that’s in a journal, a password protected blog, a locked file on your computer, or something else.  Try to let your emotions come out naturally instead of worrying about whether what you’re writing sounds good or not.

Gratitude

Along with journaling, making a habit of practicing gratitude is a good way to improve your overall mood, both in the short term and in the long term.  Write down the big and little joys in your life, write about the people you’re grateful for, write three good things that have happened to you that day, write thank you notes to people who have helped you (whether you intend to actually send them or not), write things that you like about yourself. Be as specific as you can.  In this difficult time, it can be hard to think of anything as being good, so it’s important to focus on the small things that are bringing you joy.

Mental Health Apps

If you're already struggling with your mental health and need something a little more robust than journaling, you might consider trying out a mental health app.  There are a ton of them out there, but these are the ones that the Anxiety and Depression Association of America has vetted, with a rundown of their opinions on each one.

Exercise and sunlight

These next two are a bit obvious, so bear with me, but making sure you’re getting exercise and sunlight even when you’re isolated is really important to reduce the likelihood that you’ll become anxious or depressed.  If you’re still in a place where this is a possibility, taking a 20 minute walk outside once a day is a great way to address both of these (as far as we know, you should be fine leaving your house as long as you’re maintaining six feet of distance between you and other people).  If that’s not a possibility, sitting outside is the next best thing, followed by getting a light therapy lamp and taking vitamin D supplements.  In terms of home workouts, don’t pressure yourself to commit to doing an hour of yoga a day or to walk 10,000 steps around your house.  Just getting moving for 15 or 20 minutes is enough, whether that’s making sure to walk 250 steps every hour, doing a few bodyweight exercises when you wake up in the morning, doing a yoga/pilates video, playing an exercise video game, or something else.  A few exercise apps are offering month long free trials during the virus; FitOn, Forte Fit, The Daily Burn, Golds Gym, and CorePower Yoga are a few that I’ve seen recently.

Interpersonal interactions

Especially if you’re isolated alone during this period of time, making sure you get regular interpersonal interactions in is really important for your continued wellbeing. Videochat with friends and family using apps like Skype and Zoom, play games or watch movies online with friends, and just generally prioritize staying connected to the people who are closest to you.

Limit your social media

That said, try to limit your social media consumption during this time.  The doom and gloom headlines about the spread of the virus, the virtue signaling from your favorite influencers, and the overall feelings of hopelessness online aren’t conducive to good mental health. Consider muting people or accounts who are making you feel anxious during this time or trying to limit the amount of time you’re using social media apps in general. It’s important to stay informed, but being constantly bombarded with reminders that the world is in crisis isn’t helpful to anyone.

Be Kind to Yourself

This is more of a general one, and it encompasses a lot of things, but make an effort to be kind to yourself during this time. Get dressed in the morning even though you’re not going anywhere. Take baths using the bath bombs you’ve been saving or that special face mask.  Make your favorite foods that are a little too time-intensive to do during the week, or bake if you like doing that.  Don’t give in to the pressure to be productive and create something great during this time.  It’s okay if all you can do right now is play Animal Crossing.  You don’t need to discover the concept of gravity or write the next great novel just because you have some (forced) extra time on your hands.  You just need to get through to the other side as best as you can.  On the flip side, though, having goals that you’re working on every day can be good for your mental health, too.  Even if you’re working on a goal for five minutes a day, that adds up over time.

Some miscellaneous resources:

If you belong to a library, see if they offer Libby, Overdrive, or another platform for you to download eBooks.

If you’re looking to learn something new, check out Coursera, Kahn Academy, Class Central, and others offer classes in pretty much every topic you could imagine for free.  They’re easy to navigate and to understand.  Also check out Mango Languages if your library offers it, or a free language learning app like DuoLingo or Babbel.

Some video games are now free to encourage people to stay inside, including The Stanley Parable, Watch Dogs, Drawful 2, and more.

If you’re not on the podcast train already, now is a great time to start.  A few I like are Stuff You Should Know (well-researched, fun episodes that cover everything from science and history to pop culture and conspiracy theories), RadioLab (light hearted explorations into the philosophical implications of scientific topics), ReplyAll (”a show about the internet”), Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness (JVN talks with people. Enough said), Welcome to Night Vale (”HP Lovecraft does "A Prairie Home Companion”), and Within the Wires (an anthology series of found audio tapes in an alternate history version of Earth).

Many operas, orchestras, and theaters have put their performances for free online. The Met Opera is streaming it’s Live in HD performances. If you like theater, Playbill put together a list of recorded theater performances and where you can find them.  The Seattle Symphony and Wigmore Hall are streaming orchestral performances.  Many pop musicians are also doing mini concerts for their fans online, so check to see if your favorites are playing.

Online therapy. I wanted to mention this quickly because I know this is a stressful time for a lot of people and stress can create or exacerbate mental health problems.  Although in-person appointments are no longer available, many therapists have switched to online appointments.  If you’re struggling, please don’t let this deter you from seeking help.  If you’re in the US, check to see if your insurance (or parents’ insurance) cover mental health (or “behavioral health”).  Many of them do, making therapy much more affordable. 

If you’re in the US and struggling to figure out your financial situation during this crisis, this article from the New York Times has a lot of great information on how to find resources that are relevant to you.  You can also use the Benefit Finder can also help you identify the benefits that you are eligible to receive. 

Hopefully this helps some of you.  I know this is a really difficult time for everyone and I’m always here to listen.

[vanaera]

Hi Aeraaa. Sorry it took me long to replay, but I’m glad that I finally can do it =) I just hope tumblr won’t delay my asks further more. I get why you would expect me to major in humanities, actually there’s an area in finance called behavioral finance, and I find it one of the most interesting areas in finance, I guess we can see a pattern in here hehe. What you said about ur major and what do you like about it seems really great, and the flexibility is indeed an advantage. 1

Maybe it doesn't seems like it but I understand the hassle you mentioned. Especially with the older people. B4 I major in finance, I was planning to major in MIS which is a new course in my country. I would then get a similar reaction to the one you mentioned since it isn’t accounting or finance lol. Even though these reactions can be discouraging, it isn’t really important, what’s important is that we’re comfortable with our choices, and I’m glad for that =) but yeah, i kinda get it

And Sure, I can tell you more about what I remember about the two courses. For business communication it was more about how to use the best practices in communicating with other within the organization, like how to get your message delivered, for the sake of getting the best possible result for yourself or for the sake of the organization. Things I remember about this course were like how to make and deliver a good presentations. How to right emails and good resumes. Attitudes and body language

and stuff like that. THH reminded me of a lot from that course :D. It was relatively an easy course but important and effective nonetheless. I took this course two years ago and I kinda wish if I took it like last semester cuz I think I’ll be able to remember better how to write a good resumes lol since I’m graduating this semester. Organizational behavior course was more interesting, it was about applying psychology in understanding the behaviors of personnel so one can manage them better.

The most interesting lecture that I still remember from this course was about many kinds of human bias and how it can affect the process of decision making. People can think that they’ll be able to notice these biases and tendencies easily but the reality says otherwise. That’s what I find is interesting the most. I really like what you said here. “ I think the world actually heavily relies on stories” and I think I agree with that. :)

You’re most welcome dear aera =) I don’t know how I did that but I’m glad for sure that my words made you happy and reached your heart. This’s great and it feels satisfying =). I’ll be back again to write about my thoughts on My time pt.2 after I read it! I’m excited. & Maybe I’m late but all the luck with your projects and finals dear, fighting!

Aseel!!!! Sorry this took so long!!! I got caught up with finals drain and writing slump and writing! But anyway, here I am!!!

OMOMOMO you're finally off-anon! Can I tag you now whenever I get tagged in fun tag games? I wanna know more about you!

I never heard of Behavioral Finance before. I used to think Finance is everything about money and budgeting and practicality and business. I didn't know there's an area like that.  I just searched it now and it's about the influence of psychology on investors and financial analysts 🤯  That sounds do interesting!!!! I just recalled that someone uploaded their books in their Psychology major to our uni's online library and rn I'm studying Forensic Psychology! Since I'm currently in the psych area, I think I'm gonna look into Behavioral Finance, too!

Oohhh MIS? Like Management Information Systems? (Had to Google it zjsjksks) That actually sounds so interesting! And yeah, people's - especially older generation's - opinions on what you do can be quite discouraging. But you're right. It doesn't matter as long as we're happy in what we're doing! Talk all they want how sciencey courses are better than humanities, I'll just flip my hair and study how most human communication goes downhill 💁🏻‍♀️  skskks. 

OMYGOD Business communication is like essentially my course! Were being tsught how to say things more correctly in preswntations, speeches, arguments, in whatever setting but it tends to usually focus on business (since a lot of organizations run in a business manner). One of my majors even focused on training us how to handle crisis in organizations and we were made to attend a "How to Properly Craft E-mails 101" class. It's amazing and funny at the same time. Amazing bc omygod after that class, I was making really convincing emails that helps me get what I want from my classmates (for class works) and from my profs whenever I have inquiries. Lmao bc of this class, I got more thick-skinned in facing profs and asking them what the hell do they mean in their vague instructions. Of course not literally this way, but this is the mood HAHAHAHAHAH. After that class, I made a joke that my future job is decided: an e-mail-er. Yep, yep. Corny joke. I'll see myself out 🤣🤣🤣

 I'm glad you were able to remember business comm in THH. I did a lot of research in how offices function and I had a personal experience in entering one and I hope I was able to translate them well into writing. So knowing you remember a course about it, just makes me feel warm and utterly satisfied 🥺🥺🥺

Oh and you're graduating! Advance congratulations!  🎉🎊👏 I think there will be more opportunities to learn more about writing resumes so don't lose hope! You're still young! (And with the quarantine I think there'll be more online classes about it too!)

And yes!!! Organizational behavior is hella interesting! You're right! People like to disdain bias. They herald unbiased reporting, unbiased essay, unbiased judging (in contests), and etc. When bias is inherently ingrained in humans as it is inevitable to have preferences. And bc they are inherent, it's harder to identify them. Just like how people find it hard to explain why they became the way they were now bc it's difficult to pinpoint something muddled in the surroundings that have long immersed them. I don't think this makes sense but you get what I mean? 

Apart from comm, our course usually focuses on the psychology behind comm so we also get to study about behaviors as well and goddamn I was able to better understand people after I learned about it! 

Oh hon, you don't know how far your words affect me. But the answer is simple. You just motivate me with these kind feedbacks. And you craft your feedbacks with such thought and dedication and sincerity that it just makes my heart explode bc how?? Did?? I?? Manage?? To have you as my reader?? It astounds me in so many levels. You're clearly so smart!  And I'll forever be privileged and happy to having met you (even in just online!) It's a joy to talk with you! I always have fun whenever we exchange long chains of messages! It's okay! Don't pressure yourself to read my works ASAP. We all live lives apart from this site. Just know I'll always be here whenever you wanna talk about just - whatever! Thank you for wishing me luck, Aseel! I really need lots of them bc I got tons of projects ahead (in life in general but also in my writings here 😉). Thank you so much Aseel for brightening my day! Hope you're doing okay! Here's some hearts! (/ ° O °)/ 💕💕💕

[comicteaparty]

March 28th-April 3rd, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble   chat that occurred from March 28th, 2020 to April 3rd, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

How many hours do you work on your comic per week, and how do you manager to balance that with other responsibilities?

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

heheh So we are.. cheating a bit Both me and my coworker are unemployed, and is working on hour comic, like was it a full time job. It is our passion project, and dream that we can work and live of makeing comics. In Denmark you can apply for grants from the government, but you need to have releashed a book before that is possible. We are useing the comic, to show potentional clients in the future what we can do. For now we are working on it from 09:00-17:00 ish (with a long lunch break) while applying for other kinds of grants, and also does all the things we are supposed to to get our unemplyment money, and searching for jobs, and freelance gigs, gathering the courage to start our own small company (not right now though) and yeaah time will tell

carcarchu

@Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS that doesn't sound like cheating to me? more like using the tools at your disposal to turn your passion into a viable career

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

hehe it feels a little like cheating! there are some debates about if it is okay or not, but we think that strengthening our skills is a good use of our time

eli [a winged tale]

Haha also not cheating! It’s great you’re using the time to chase the dream I’m curious what’s your breakdown for those time working on the comic? As for me, usually 1-2 hours a day with a bit more on the weekend if time permits. These days with the quarantine it’s about 2-3 h a day

DanitheCarutor

Since I'm unemployed until who knows when I've been working on my comic between 40-50 hours a week about 6 to 7 days a week... most weeks. Some days, like update day or chore day, I hardly work on the comic or don't work on it at all. Admittedly I'm not the best at balancing drawing with other responsibilities, sometimes I get so into it that I forget about daily house chores, other weeks I do the opposite and only do house chores which makes me totally behind of comic stuff. I can't seem to find a good middle ground, it always turns into completely focusing on one or the other.

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah when I get in the zone, time flies and life gets put to the wayside

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

So I have no school or work, so the webcomic has become almost a fulltime project for me

I average about 10 hours per day working on it, not counting on chores and exercise

Another thing I worry about is the possibility of carpal tunnel syndrome, which is why I've been relentless with exercise, too

I guess it's just a combination of relentless reminders and also sheer willpower that gets me to do other responsibilities haha

@eli [a winged tale] also I know that feeling

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

So since my school had to cancel, I have to be more responsible for my online course. Sometimes I give myself 2 days off each week to work more into my upcoming webcomic but I have to switch my mind for school work, online classes. Also extra time for food. I need to get back into exercise or I feel exhausted more easily. I keep a wall schedule so that I make it a routine to write what I'll do every 3 or 5 days, to keep my active brain reminded(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I spent the majority of last year (fun)employed (partially by choice, partially not! my previous job let me go rather unceremoniously... and I needed a hiatus anyway... so it worked out) so I poured a lot more hours into that chapter of Phantomarine than I usually did. I worked on it almost every day - at least for a couple of hours, but sometimes up to a full eight-hour day. That number has dipped tremendously since I’ve gone back to work, but I’m spreading the same amount of time out in a broader way. I’m trying to get a good buffer during my hiatus, so I can work and draw in a healthy balance. I don’t have crazy overtime at my current job like I did at my last one, so that’s already a comfort. I’m confident I’ll be able to hit a good stride once the comic returns in June (edited)

eli [a winged tale]

Can’t wait Lady!!

Feather J. Fern

Two part time jobs, and school killed my comic, but I been working on getting one panel done a day, which is around 30minutes to an hour if possible.

eli [a winged tale]

My routine used to be rendering on the commute but now just once in am and once pm until this limbo time is clarified

That’s awesome Feather! It’s so rewarding when everything comes together after putting effort everyday

Feather J. Fern

Once school is done in two more weeks I will be more free to do things so I hope to get maybe two panels done in a day XD

Online school, stupid quarantine

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Due to the pandemic im mostly off school and my part time job so i spend like 4-5 hours on my comic per day. Still would like try to get a page done per day but lmao digital painting is slowwww

eli [a winged tale]

What’s everyone’s tips for breaks/stretches/balance? I feel like I certainly need to revisit these to avoid burnout and continue feeling motivated!

Feather J. Fern

Actually there was a cool manga artist who's tip was literally he only worked working hours. His mornings are free and since manga was his job, he worked form 12-6, giving him 2 hours to do other work he needs to get done, and takes morning walks and stuff.

Another person I know had "No working weekends" as a thing becuase they are a freelancer.

I personally have try to make sure I ahve a routine, and actually, stretch before drawing.

Streetch before, during a break, and then after, to keep that body nice and warmed up

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Health-wise there's this hing for your : every 20 minutes, look at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds. I'm not good at following this, but when I do it, it helps a lot.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Despite the current pandemic, my work-life hasn't changed much (unless you count stress getting in the way). I am currently "unemployed," but I do consider comicking my full-time job. I am also not very good at balancing work and life. Something's always gotta give. Last year, I worked at a job that basically ruined my ability to work on my comic. I worked 30-40 hours typically, ruined my sleep schedule, took work home sometimes, and was constantly exhausted. This is what resulted in my year and a half long hiatus, and it's what drove me to work like hell on my comic when I quit. Now (when I'm in the groove and not suffering from art block), I typically spend 60-70 hours on my comic and get 2-3 pages done: - 30 hours sketching (I know, ridiculous) - 5 hours filling in base colors - 20-25 hours painting - 5 hours adding text, speech bubbles, sfx, and finishing touches - 1-2 hours formatting for Webtoon I also spend some time throughout the week typing up the script, doing concept art for things coming in the future of the comic, and preparing for conventions, but I can't tell you exactly how much time.

eli [a winged tale]

Thanks for the breakdown! I’m always keen to learn from everyone and seeing how the workflow is like for different people

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

oh don't forget to do wrist stretches!

eli [a winged tale]

Ahh formatting time is always so tedious for me!

Yes wrist exercises! Any recommendations?

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

hmmm well the easiest one is literally just shaking it out

like every hour

and I also like to hold my arm out parallel, point my fingers up and using my other hand to pull the fingers back so i'm stretching the wrist

then I point the fingers down and pull on the fingers until my wrist is stretching

eli [a winged tale]

Awesome. Will be adopting those!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I'm pretty fast. 2-6 hours per page, depending on how detailed it is. Average of 3-4. I could probably do 2 pages/ week easily enough, but don't want to do more than that. I'm the kind of person who always needs to be doing a million different things. I need to leave time for my other hobbies and my paintings and my academics and extracurriculars. Otherwise I'd get burnt out doing one thing only

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

@eli [a winged tale] So since it is both me and @Q (Wayfinders: Off Course) working, we start with working on a rough each, our goal is one step (so rough, ink, color) for two pages pr day, pr person. So in a weak the goal is four finished pages a week, and then we upload 3 pages per week. So it is divided that in the morning we start at 09:00 in the morning, maybe checking mail, being practical or whatever. Then we work until 12:00 were we eat lunch, go for a long nice walk and then we go back to work between 13:00 and 14:00 ish and then work until 17:00 when we begin to prepare dinner. Then of course breaks inbetween

Q (Wayfinders: Off Course)

It’s pretty wild to be able to dedicate your entire day to comics like that

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

damn you all work fast

do you guys have any tips on how to work on a webcomic faster?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Lol, I wish!

Still looking for those magical secrets

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@shadowhood (SunnyxRain) You know the 80-20 rule? You can get 80% of the result with 20% of the effort? My comic is very messy if you zoom in. I don't spend time making sure the linework or the coloring is perfectly clean. Also, I'm pretty fast at drawing figures. I used to practice figure drawing a lot by rushing to draw strangers irl before they moved, or by drawing a bunch of fast figures from the free figure drawing model websites online. I've also taken a figure drawing course (didn't even have to pay because it was part of my university! Even if you don't have that option you can probably find free life drawing sessions on Meetup or similar!) which really helped me streamline my process for drawing people

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Oh I see! Yes, I used to take life drawing classes too! And your response makes me feel a lot better

I tend to be a bit messy with inking, and since i'm a perfectionist a lot of my time is wasted on editing/clean up

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've seen cronaj draw, and while I think the results look excellent, I think her method is a kind of inefficient. She draws like a printer, nearly finishing one detailed body part before moving on the the next. I think maybe if she drew in a more classical way, going from a gesture drawing to progressively more detailed, it might help her be faster and her poses more cohesive and dynamic. Maybe working on 1 or 5 min figures would help? Practicing things like this?

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah I try to do figure practices for efficiency

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I heard that there are some online life drawing vids you can follow too

but what are your experiences with online life drawing vids versus the real thing

like is there a real difference?

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

found some of my old 1 minutes

To me there's not too much difference

I've heard some people say that life drawing is either way easier or way harder though. Because of your depth perception when looking at a real person

But the bruises on my legs can attest to my horrid depth perception haha. That might be why I don't notice a difference

Actually those previous sketches might be 30 seconds? I don't remember

I would recommend you try both but right now we pretty much only have the online option haha

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah I’ve done both and I think irl creates complexity with depth and the interactions with others etc is helpful but online is my go to for flexibility

I think having a process streamlined will make things more efficient. The downside is that it might feel tedious and I do switch it up from time to time for variety

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Might feel uncomfortable but that's how you know you're improving

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

There is a TON of difference for me. I HAVE to look at a physical model in front of me.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Can't get better if you always do the same things

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

This is what my brain does.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I wonder- could drawing yourself in a mirror be a decent substitute?

If youre lucky you might also be able to ask an SO or roommate to model for you. Should probably pay them back by cooking for them or something though

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Brain: sees a real model in front of me Brain: translates 3D to 2D, result: drawing Brain: sees a photo/video of a model Brain: SHIT. That's supposed to be 3D, isn't it? Brain: Translates 2D to 3D (basically re-constructing it in my head, or attempting to re-construct) so that it can translate it back to 2D Brain: BSOD

There's some online resources out there that have "3D" photos... you know, two near-identical images side by side, so if you look at it cross-eyed, it becomes 3D?

But I can't do those because I get a headache X'D

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Just thinking about drawing from that makes me dizzy

eli [a winged tale]

Oh interesting!

Yeah maybe looking out the window to draw people would be the way to go...

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

But maybe figure drawing in VR exists?

eli [a winged tale]

Balcony figure drawings

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I live on the top floor so those are going to be some very small figures

eli [a winged tale]

For ants

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Once this coronavirus thing is over, there's lots of ways you can do gesture drawings from just random people -- bus stops, cafes, museums (I have not done this, but people who have done this report this is really good because others assume you're drawing the artworks. XD)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've done this a lot

Sometimes I've even shown people drawing of themselves if they've turned out particularly nice

They've always taken it well

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I like drawing my professors because they use hand gestures a lot when they talk

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Airport was REALLY good for finding people stuck in one pose indefinitely

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

they alwayas laugh when I show them

eli [a winged tale]

Shadow omg I do that too

Draws classmates

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

yeah the only issue i have with drawing classmates

is that they're always doing the "i'm using my phone" pose

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Become the master of drawing people on their phones

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Maybe try drawing children on the playground?

This works better if you're a woman

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

oh thank jesus

I also like going to the zoo or the museum

or the aquarium if i'm feeling adventurous

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I am a University student so I also have some pretty interestng drawings of people asleep in weird poses

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I really need to start going to weekly figure drawing sessions once this is over (there's one here... 20 min drive... 8AM Saturdays )

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

ditto or just go to the park and draw

and @Eightfish (Puppeteer) I've had some.....weird poses from all my profs

one guy was incredibly hard to draw; he was VERY enthusiastic about showing us knife skills

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The parks here are too spacious, to a degree where it's weird to get close enough to people

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Bring binoculars

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Don't worry ma'am I'm an artist

nothing sketchy

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

(except my sketch)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

A+ pun right there

another place to go for figure drawing

theaters

like.....opera/plays

I once tried drawing the men dancing in the Newsies musical

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Tried that once, but it took me out of the performance

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

same i was dazzled by dancing men

aaaaand then i abandoned sketching at all when they started throwing newspaper strips into the audience

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

But they were giving you free paper!

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

THEY WERE

i'll take what i can get

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) While I agree that my method of drawing is "inefficient," I do not draw like a printer. There are videos of people drawing like a printer and it's not what I'm doing. I have done gesture drawing before, but it always looked incredibly abstract, and not quite like people, which is fine, but not what I'm going for. I treat gesture drawing like a warm-up exercise. It doesn't really do anything for my end result, but gets my drawing muscles stretched out.(edited)

eli [a winged tale]

Gesture drawings are definitely a good warmup!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Perhaps it was an inappropriate analogy. What works for me I guess wouldn't work for everyone. I was trying to offer advice because whenever you talk about how much time you spend on art and you work life balance it's commendable but also dismaying. I hope you find something that works for you in the future

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Oh god.. I sometimes work 6 hours a day. I guess thats like 30 hours a week? Crazy to think about, it's like a full job

Oooh you guys are sharing figure drawings... I swant to show some of mine

Behold

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My figure drawing usually breaks down into like, medical anatomy study. I feel like I understand body shapes better by including the muscles & bones

carcarchu

ABS the most important figure study

Deo101 [Millennium]

ah figure drawing? I love figure drawing ^^

I do like a lot but this kinda thing is most of it

anyways as for the question at hand, I do a lot of different things for my comics weekly. My millennium pages take me 2-6 hours i would say, but I also have patreon things I need to do so I'd say i spend 10-15 hours on it a week. for my other comic, I spend about 6 hours an update, and it updates every other week. but honestly, all of my free time goes to assorted comics. If i'm not working on school work or chatting with people, I'm working on things for patreon, potential merch, or other comics I want to start sometime.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Oooh nice poses!!’

Deo101 [Millennium]

thanks!! I have a ton of gesture/figure drawings but these ones are my most recent that I have saved to my computer i think

10 minutes im pretty sure. very good for speeding up

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Those look really nice, good values

Deo101 [Millennium]

thanks ^^ I really hate working in charcoal honestly, it kinda always winds up hurting my body somehow, but its very quick sooooooo

kayotics

My answer for the prompt question has changed a lot since I started quarantine lmao... I used to do about 10 hours of work throughout the week on my comic page (usually after work, I have an office job) but ironically it’s gotten harder while I work from home. I’ve been struggling to find time since I don’t have a separation between work and home now, and putting the boundaries up of “I’m not always available” to coworkers is difficult.

Also on figure studies: they’re a great way to practice speed. I use the concepts of figure drawings all the time.

RebelVampire

@kayotics As someone who always works from home doing remote contract work, I have to say I think this is something a lot of people underestimate about work at home life. In that it's sometimes really difficult to establish boundaries with ppl and make them understand you aren't always available and also aren't gonna work billions of hours of overtime. So I'm sorry to hear that's affecting your comic work.

Shadowmark Productions

I work anywhere from 6-8 hours a day on comic stuff. That’s an average though. Sometimes I slack and need to pull all nighters to make up for it. Yes, I am terrible at time management. They say entrepreneurs are the only people willing to work 80 hours a week for themselves so they do not have to work 40 hours a week for someone else. I guess webcomic creators are the only people willing to work 80+ hours a week so that they can... go to work for someone else afterwards

AntiBunny

4 days of procrastinating, 1 of procrastinating and hating myself, and 2 of actual comic drawing seems to make up my weekly comic making schedule. :p

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I can only imagine how stressed I would be if I forced myself to update weekly

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

This is a hard question to answer because it varies a lot depending on my energy levels. Ideally I’d spend several hours a day on comics, but realistically I draw as much as possible when I have the energy (5+ hours a day for as many days in a row as I can handle it) and then go weeks or months too tired to do comics. On average, barring any long periods of exhaustion or other interruptions from RL, I spend about 20+ hours a week making pages for my comics.

sagaholmgaard

I prefer to work on my comic for about an hour ever morning and maybe 2-3 hours in the evening, that's the ideal routine for me. Right now I sadly have a lot of schoolwork to do (writing my thesis) so i might get less than 30 minutes in the morning and then feel rlly tired in the evening so I dont get as much time then either. but oh well!

I can still work for 4-5 hours on the weekends so I manage ^^(edited)

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

The whole stay-indoors order's currently completely wrecked my pattern, but before that I did between 3-4 hours a day.

Shadowmark Productions

Can’t imagine the stress of a daily or even weekly posting schedule. Hats off.

[itsmecessy]

Having You Near Me

Most people say that I shouldn't care much on looking for someone to be with given my young age. But I couldn’t just shrug the thought when most girls in my age are already in a relationship.

It hurts and made me feel so frustrated because every time that I hang up with my squad, my role is just a “third-wheel” and I’m so tired for that role. All of them are holding hands while walking with their boyfriend or girlfriend and as usual I look like their maid following them anywhere they want to go.

By the way, I’m Queencess Quinn Dela Torre, an 18 years old girl living in Olongapo City and currently Grade 12 HUMSS student at Maxwell Prime University . When I was a child I’m just a simple girl staying just on my room watching cartoons and playing indoor games at home, in short I am an “introvert girl when I was a little”. As time passes by, everything has changed about me when I meet my bestfriend Hailey, Hailey Chantal Buenavetura. AsI witnessed her long time ago, I describe her as DORA because she is an explorer girl. She loves exploring something that is new in the present nor traveling.

Well, Everyone knows me as a simple and a minimalist girl before but for some reason, because of I learned to explore and enjoy trends in today’s generation. In this time of pandemic we need to be quarantined not because we are infected but just for our safety. Even though I used to be alone before, I still feel or experience boredom.

For the reason that I was bored, I contact my bff for me to surpass those problems because its killing me.

 “bebs!! I’m bored. I don’t know what to do! I don’t play games thooooo.”

 “besh…. explore, explore, explore!” Hailey said.

 “Ughhh there you go again dora! HAKHAKAHKA.”

 She smirked and said “STOP!! Grrrrr!”

 “HAKAHKAHKA, youre so cute everytime you act like that bebs! Can you just do it one more time?”

 “stop it its not funny!” she said.

 “no more bully… but bebs!! help!! I’m bored!”

 “okay..fine! I use yugo whenever I’m bored”

 “huh? what’s that?”

 “besh, it is an app wherein you can make friends with others.”hailey said while eating.

 “but.. how?”

 “its like a dating but not usually like that. You can swipe left and right too if you want to add someone also you can search if ever you have someone you know that is also using that app. The difference of of the two is you do live stream and watch with your friends there and meet new people in live..uhggg its hard to explain.” hailey said while discussing it hard.

 “owwwww.. thats cool… I’ll try it later!”

 “just explore the app and I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

 “thank you bebs!! you’re the best!!! luvyah dora!”

 “stop calling me dora!!! hays”she smirked again and said “luvyah too.” with disappointment on her face.

 “HAAKAHKAHKHA!! okay fine! Byeeee. Mwuahh”

 “bye besh!”

 At first, I didn’t enjoy the app because I’m not used to it. I’m just a simple girl and if you try to look my phone, the only application that you can see are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Youtube. Yes, I’ve changed and not the girl tat they know before but duh, yubo is not my type. I don’t do live stream and I don’t feel talking to someone I didn’t know.

After a month, I gave yugo a second chance. I patiently explore what is the beauty of that app. I started to watch live streams and unexpectedly enjoy watching those streamers who are enjoying the bond they have. One night, I open up my yugo and started live hopping again to watch different streamers and as time passes I received invitation to stream with them but for some reason, I’m not that confident because I’m shy so I declined. After a week, I still do my yugo routine but this time I accept invitations already and I do live stream already and have friend with everyone.Yugo app helps me to fill up myself whenever I’m bored for so many months.

 There was I time, my junior highshool classmate shakira marie called me and had some talks about life or something. Honestly, that was the beginning of our friendship and we started to talk and have fun during quarantine. Since its been a month since I’m using yugo, I decided to take a rest from using it and continue having fun with kira.

 “kira!”

 “long time no talk!” kira said

 “how are you? I missed you!”

 “well, I’m good and still pretty same as you and I missed you too gurl!”

 “HAKHAKHAAHK”

 “do you know yugo?.” kira asked.

 “yes, I’am!. I have yugo account too!”

 “what a coincidence!” kira said with excitement.

 “let do live stream sometimes!”

 “sure why not!”kira answered.

 After knowing that kira knows about yugo, we have been live streaming for almost five months, we already had a lot of friend in yugo and enjoys streaming every night. For five months, we never missed one day of streaming, everyday and every night we do yugo “routine” sounds fun right?. We’re tripping and having fun whenever someone came and stream with us (sometimes we flirt).

 One day, when kira and I are waiting for our online class while we were streaming, someone raised his hand wanted to live stream with us and his name is King Glean Javier he’s from Infanta, Quezon Provice same as me Grade 12 student taking STEM curriculum. Kira and I had fun with him but for awhile, kira felt so hungry and left us streaming. While king and I are streaming alone and no one is watching, king open up and started to talk about his past.

 “cess, have you been in a relationship?” king asked.

 “why’d you ask?”

 “how long have you been in a relationship?” he asked again

 “okay okay… yes I’ve been in a relationship but it last just for 2 months I think?”

 “why did you guys broke up?”

 “actually my ex and I have never been I a fight, I just let him do what ever he wanted to do but I think did something wrong in that part because I just let him do everything he wants?”

 “but by do you think you’re wrong?”

 “ I’m wrong in the way that I “tolerate” his vices because I let him do what ever he wants to do to the point that I let him forget that he has a girlfriend waiting for his chats. I’ve been too considerate for him even though he doesn't make time for me anymore because I want him to be happy. To be honest, I don’t want him to let him go but I think there’s something wrong”

 “awww, he’s so lucky but he didn’t prioritize you and keep you with love, I understand what your point is. I hope you’re okay now.” king said.

 “how about you? I think you had something you want to say about your past for some reason.”

 “actually I’m broken, I’ve been in a relationship in two years and five months.” he said

 “aww! That’s long, but why does it ends?”

 During this quarantine, were not allowed to roam outside since we are just a minor. One time I chatted her that I am supposed to go on their but suddenly she no, and she is so sorry because she doesn’t love him anymore and she’s with her new man. Even though she refused, I still go to their place and yah we talked to each other and she said sorry to me. But all I can is just to accept and let her go even if it hurts.” king said with mixed emotions.

 “aww, that hurts but we just did our part.”

 “yess! Kira is already here!!” king shouted.

  When kira is already in, after fifteen minutes we decided to end up our live stream because king had to go and prepare for hin onlice class at one o'clock on the after noon and kira and I doesn’t have class that time. Around one thirty pm while I am scrolling at my social medias account, I saw King Glean sent me a friend request and that was an expected things to me and because I know him already, I accepted his request and I unexpectedly received wave message from him and yes, I waved back to him and started a conversation that day.

King told me that he didn’t expect me to accept his request since we just meet online which is on yugo and I told him that “why would I do that if I know you?” also he keeps telling that he is very comfortable with me and just like that and I am fun to be with and that day that we chatted to each other, that was the beginning for to know each other well. As time passes by, we had a lot of talks about our past and he send some picture like family pictures, we do random video calls, updates and were having fun a lot of time.

 King made me feel excited every time that he is sending me a message and calling me every-time, I don’t know what to do but to stop what I am thinking for because there was a time that our topic is about entering again in a relationship again. One day he asked if ever that some will come into my life again, am I ready to be in a relationship again? And I told him yes but I asked that question back to him but hi didn’t answer. Also there was a time that he asked me if he’s attractive and I said “yes, you’re attractive the you are.” also the thing that I felt so excited because of him and he reminded me that he was not simping and he was just showy and clingy person. For some reason, king asked me like if am I “ghoster or not” because some of the other girls did that stupid things to him before and made him felt so bad.

 “queen, I’m not saying this to you just to disappoint you or hurt you haaa, I was just thinking of you ghosting me someday.”

 “uhmmm, its okay that you asked something like that to. But I must to you that majority of those guys or friends who came into my life are the first people who got tired off, not me. I don’t usually have an intentions of doing that stupid thing to someone because I know the feeling of being left behind or ghosted. So why would I do those event to people who are welcome to me but unfortunately, not welcome to them?” I answered.

 “well, I got your point but this time, I want you to know that I will not let you feel what you felt from those people did that stupid case to you, I promise.”

 “ I wanted them to stay but they’re  looking for better person that I am. But you know its not our lost and we deserve better.” I added.

 “yes we are.” he answered

 “ you if I will be given a chance to tell something to those people who left you, I will tell the that “you lost a potential guy” jakahkhaka, bumble be like!

 “how crazy lil silly you are!” he said

 “king, lets just put in our mind that we did our part, they just let their stupidity dominant than being intelligent when it comes from hitting up!” I said.

 “they need seminar from us!” his naughty answer.

 After a week of communication, king suddenly didn’t send good morning because I’ve never missed receiving good-morning message for him and it made me feel sad. Eleven o’clock in the morning kira and I decided to stream and had talk about ourselves. While streaming I saw king watching our live and I started to share something about me while he still watching us.

 “kira you know what, I’m clingy and approachable in person.”

 “of course I know that” kira’s answer.

 “but online, I’m not. I want someone will hit me up not me. I just want the first way of hitting up with someone in an opposite gender. In our culture before, the girls are sitting in pretty white the guys are the one who do the first move” I said.

 Kira answered back, “sisz, at this point in time, we had an different world!, this, the girls are the one who’s doing the first move or the one who’s hitting up first not the guys anymore…. but not all the but most of the time hkahkahah”

 “well, I’m just telling my side thooo, that’s my stupid mindset!”

 “then try hitting up first so you will no gonna bored sisz!” kira said.

 After that conversation with kira, king left and we just continue our talk. After thirty minutes that he had left, king is back and I said hi to him and he replied, “hello my baby”. after that reply, I felt so fluttered and that’s why I don’t know what to say but to laugh. That day I’m still curious why he’s not messaging me and I’m not feeling good that day that is why I post a status at my social media saying “aww, no chat and no good morning for today :(“.

 As I woke up the next day, I felt so happy because he already messaged me and unexpectedly confront about my status.

 “Good-morning baby, char” king’s message.

 “aww, good-morning!” while I felt so fluttered.

 “what was that drama?” he asked

 “what?”

 King sent the screenshot of my status.

 “ahhhhh, don’t mind it thoooo. HAHKAHKA”

 “wait for awhile, my mom calls me to eat and you too” king asked.

 “okie, eat well”

 While king is eating, there’s a lot of thing out of my mind. I’m curious about his moves. He’s too sweet all of a sudden.

 “hello my baby! Char” he said

 “too fast ha.. hkahka”

 “too fast?” he asked

 “too fast to eat…” I answered.

 “ahy, I had the wrong idea.. hakhka”

 “huh? Hkahka”

  At that point, I already knew about what is in his mind. I started to doubt and over-think what will happen next. I had this feelings that I can’t really even explain why am I too nervous or paranoid about something. There was a time that, because of this bad  feelings, I always think about something that made my mind boast.

 I had a lots of “what ifs” in my mind, “what if this guy left me?”, “what if he likes me too but he’s hesitating to tell or open up with me?”, “what if he still love his first love?”, “what if his first came back and left me behind?” ,“ what if we were not having a one sided love?”. but as time passes by, all those “what ifs” that I was scared off  are suddenly happened on its time. Not in a negative way but positive and fluttering.

 King said, “what is this?”, “what are this convos of us?”

 “hala (omg)” I said as I felt my heart aching because of beating so fast.

 “ I’m just asking, we had a lot of random video calls, right?, I always update you about me and you almost know my routine everyday, my errands, even my movements hkaha joke, etc.” he said.

 “uhmmmmm.” speechless me.

 “ for you what are these?” he asked.

 “uhmmm, for me, this was just a typical convos just what like the others doing.” I know you and I know your side thooo.” I answered.

 “but, what do you think you know about me?” he asked

 “well, as far as I know, you don’t have plans to flirt since you’re not yet healed from you past right? You told me that you’re just showing who you are truly, right?” I said.

 “ let’s say that “I’m not yet totally healed from the past”, but for me, I’m okay now. I already accepted the fact that we are not together anymore and we already had clear and good closure.” he said. “ I’m just holding back to open up with you before but since we were just seeing or meeting each other online.” he added.

 “then, what do you mean by that feelings?” I answered. “how cute you are hkakhaa”

   “I LIKE YOU, but the thing is I don’t think that fell the same way as me. Also were long distanced to each other” king said.

 “ wait, is this a prank?” I asked

 “why am I pranking you in this serious conversation?” king said.

  All this time, I told king that, “I thought that it was all one sided”. For the reason that I don’t want hoping for someone and holding on to someone that will never last, I always taught myself not to be stupid in this kind of situations.  Before this time came, I forced myself not to fall for him even though he shows motives about having feelings for me. I forces myself to put in mind that “two broken people will never make whole”. I forced myself not to be “fragile as glass” wherein someone will make me fall and no one will catch me and became just like a broken glass. I’m tired, tired of being left behind or ghosted, and begins from the start just like a cycle of pain, but suddenly my world stopped and I look like a dog, a dog that making face like I did something stupid, sitting on the corner of my room, thinking about ,“should I give a chance for us to flirt and build love for each other  or not?”

 Even though I over-think about him, I always think if how could I I know the answers about certain things that made think badly if I would not give it a try?. Everything has its different outcomes, they may be negative or positive. So what if I give it a try and in result, it will give happiness?

 I said to king, “i understand you concern for me and you, yes were long distanced to each other, but don’t be too sad for it.”

 “ I know that this is fast, but what if the time comes and you’ll the true colors of me? Would you still like me or not?” he said. “I know this isn’t formal, but I like you”. with sad emoji. “and I thingk you’re holding back”. he added.

 “ I want you to know that I’ am not holding back. Honestly, I thought everything was just a one sided “feelings”.  also, one of my weaknesses is attachment and I think I am attached from you.” I said.

 “ therefore, that explains the rant on you facebook status?” he asked.

 “yes, because I’m used to it already. Every I have good-mornings from you but suddenly, in just one changes it feels so bat for me.” I answered with sad emoji.

  “ I just did that because I want to know if you will still chat when I an not messaging you, if you will look for me when I’m not around or online, but as u said in live with kasi, you’re not hitting up yourself and what you want is someone will hit you up on chat.” he said.”

 “ but I messaged you that time!” I said while laughing.

 After this, king told me not to tell kira about us, and as I respect his decision, i promised him that I will not tell kira about us for him. And continue our conversation about the fb post.  

 When king didn’t chat that time, I wasn’t supposing to chat him at night because I don’t know how to start, I don’t have any topics to start with but some of my friend pranked about lazada something. So that was the topic I brought up with him.

 Although, I had this negatinve mindset in my head,  i cant stop thinking about him. King is very different from all those guys that I have met online. He is very genuine, respectful, and an ideal guy for me. He respect me the way he respect his parents as I’ve seen in every video call we had and no words can explain how go he is. I like him just the way he is.

 So as we continue our conversation that day, king told that he was just holding back before but fuck I was too far from him and he cant go here for me.

 “ don’t that I was just holding back before because you’re too far from me and I cant go there for you?” he said

 I said, “don’t you thing that I was just “nagpaparinig” or telling those things for a purpose? But it was true..”

 “I can't be with you and i cant see yo, I can't hug you, I can't smell you and it’s fucking frustrating.” he sadly reply.

 “aww, too cute…hmmm”, “ don’t message me on my second account ha, I want you here in my main.” I said.

 “well, why do you need second account huh?” he asked?

 “ that was long time ago, don’t be too curious.”

 King suddenly became so funny and said, “Im just clingy not horny, HAHAHAHAHA.”

  I replied, “well, that’s good, I’m scared from those who are like that… hkahka”

 I thought when king wasn’t chatting me, that was the end of us but its not. He told that whenever he was not messaging me, he is busy doing something. After telling me about that, we have talked about how long is the traveling hour from here in longapo to infanta and it was too long. As I estimate the hours on how long the travel from olongapo to manila, it was two to three hours away and from infanta to manila, it was three to five hours. Therefore the estimated time from infanta to olongapo, it was too tiring to travel because it will be six to eight hours of traveling.

 Within the day of our conversation, as I said before, king is always flooding me with his pictures. I already have his family pictures, pictures with his classmates and friends, his pictures of a beautiful view when he was resting after long ride of biking, also from being toddler to present. And I was so fluttered about it because the reason why he send his pictures is for me to avoid feeling lonely when I’m alone.

 “i’ll send you my pictures ha, I just wanted you not to feel bad or lonely when you’re alone.”

 “ awww, you’re too cute and sweet..” I replied.

 “well, I’m cute when I was a child but what happened now?”he ranted.

 “you’re still cute until now, you’re cute when you smile, that’s why I felt so fluttered whenever I see your smile..” I said.

 “so you like my smile, you’re turned on whenever I smiled?”

 “yes? Hkahaka” I said.

 “ can I say I love you?” he asked

 “of course! Why not?” I answered.

 “ I love you my queen” he said with emojis showing love

 “ I love you too my king” I replied when feeling so fluttered.

 After a month of getting to know each other well, one of the thing that I have been flattered about him is that, he asked me all of a sudden about “what is my favourite song is?”. And  I told him my favourite song was “having you near me”. When I told him about that, after a minute of time, he called me and I was shocked because as I answered his call, my favourite song is playing on his laptop. And as we were video calling for a month already, he still playing it and lip syncing it for me.

 So for a month of knowing each other, king decided to tell kira about us. And we planned to tell her in live so there’s a lot of fun that will be hold on.

 “babe, lets do live at yugo and tell kira about us.” king said.

 “sure, no problem but how?” I asked.

 “we’ll let think, since sometimes her brain-cells are slow, hkahkaha.” he replied.

 “you’re too harsh babe! Ahakha.” I replied.

 “let’s go then..” he said.

 When we were live streaming with kira, we were just acting like normal. We acted normal until the time comes for us to do what we planned awhile ago. During our stream, I told kira that I have something to tell her but there was a viewer who wants to stream with us and she send an invitation for it and suddenly didn’t hear and asked me what did I said.

 “hi sisz!!!” kira said.

 “hello, king ask if what time are we going to stream and I told him that “right now” I said to kira.

 “hhkahak, hey king is here now!” kira shouted.

 “come up here king!” I said.

 “hello guys!, wazzup? ” king said.

 “hello!” kira and I said.

 “kira, queen had something to tell you.” king said.

 “whatttt!????” I shouted.

 “wait, someone wants to stream with us, let me invite her.” kira said.

 King and I continue to talk like at the same time that’s why its too loud to here.

  “hey, what are you guys up to?” kira asked.

 “nothing thooo, hkahkahka” I answered.

 There was a viewer named “love” and everyone said “sana all love”

 “sana all love” I said.

 “ I love you babe!” king said

 “ luhhh!, are you guys flirting?” kira said!

 “ uhmmmm, yes?” I answered.

 “ now, you knew it already! So we don’t have to think that much about us when it comes to you.. hkahka” king said.

 When kira already knew about us, kira started to asked non stop about us, he aske so many things like how we started to open up to each other and king was the only one who’s answering all those question from kira since he was just the that kira was asking for.

 “omg, king what’s poppin! Char”. kira asked.

 “hkhahka,” king laughed.

 “so, you like her?” asked kira.

 “yes, I like her and I love her” king answered genuinely.

 “sana all!” she shouted. “ but how and why?” kira asked.

 “ I like and love her just the way she and no words can explain how I feel for her” king answered.

 “stop asking, but the only thing that we can say is were both mutual, we like and love each other, hkahkah” I said.

 “okay, fine! Sana all!” kira said.

 “hey king! I just want to remind you ha, don’t make my bb gurl hurt ha or else you’ll be dead from me.” kira’s threat.

 “ of course no!, I know the feelings of being hurt and why would I do those thing to my queen. She deserve to be loved not to be hurt” king answered.

 “so, if you guys needs help, I’m always here for the two of you! I luh yuh” kira’s advice.

 After our stream, king and I talked in facebook chat about the reaction of kira when we already told her about us. We were surprised about her reaction, she shouted and her eyes widened and she flustered about us.

 On the next day, since king told me that they will be having a long ride from five to nine am, I waited for so long for him and flooded him a lot of messages until they came back home and called me even he’s not yet changed. I told him to rest but he resist because he wants me to see and to talk with.

 Since we were running out of topics, I opened up someone who wont stop hitting me up, he’s too cringy and he doesn’t stop calling me baby, love, babe or something and he’s getting into my nerves every time he’s asking me for time even though I’m not that interested to him. Upon knowing all my rants about that guy, king decided to confront him and ask him to keep distance from me. while confronting him, the guy replied a lot of things that not makes sense as we were screen-sharing messenger. He opened a lot of thing like I had a bumble account and king doesn't even care about it because I didn’t use it anymore. After confronting the guy, we hang up our call so we can do thing that we need to do like doing requirements and online class.

 A week after, I visited my yugo. Upon visiting, I saw jess “a gay” streaming with king. King saw me and said hi to me but jess is simpig with him without knowing that king and I had something together. Jess continue flirting while king is resisting from him. I had a lot of trust for him so I don’t get jealous about them. King invites me on their stream and pushing jess to king as making fun and enjoy with them at the same time until king has to leave the stream for the reason that he needs to attend his online class at that day.

 Since king left the stream, jess and I continue to have fun. We did a lot of chika about something. He told me that he likes king but king said he had someone for a month or two months I think.

 “is it true jess? You like him?” I asked.

  “uhmm, yess hkahkaha” jess answered with feeling shy.

 “hakhkahakha” speechless me.

 “ can you help me?” he asked.

 “uhm, hkhaha sure?” I replied.

 While streaming with jess, I messaged king since he’s live hopping that time and told him about what jess said during our conversation but he initiate first. But eventually after a minute of time jess and I ended our live.

 “babe?” king’s messaged

 “i’m live streaming with jess.” I answered.

 “i’m live streaming babe” he said.

 “yes, I saw you online and watching” I replied.

 “ but what are you guys talking about?” he asked.

 “well, jess told me that he has crush on you.” I replied.

 “wait, what!?” he loudly asked.

 “ he said that he’s serious about you.” I replied.

 “he’s just making fun form me, I know his trip thoo, hkahka” he said.

 “ what if it’s true? He’s serious?” I added.

 “ are you jealous?” he asked.

 “no, I’m not, I promise.” I said

 “are you sure, I’m just asking so I know what I need to do.” he replied.

 “i’m not, promise” I answered.

 “ I love you then.!” he said.

 “I love you too, babe!” I repplied.

 An hours after our conversation, jess and I started a live and talk something about his side for king. At first, he just great me like we were close and then he started to ask about king.

 “cess!, how are you?” he joyfully asked.

 “here, doin’ great, hkahka” I said while laughing.

 “so what’s poppin girl?” he asked.

 “nothing much bb!” I answered

 “well, I felt so fluttered because kind said “I love you” awhile ago!” he’s fluttered answer.

 “is that so?, hajhajhja” I said

 “but I don’t take it as an advantage because he said that he had this girl chatting with him for 2 months I think?” he said

 “awww, is that so? I know that he had but I’m not sure thooo.” I replied.

 “do you know her?” he asked.

 “no, I don’t” I said.

 After this convo, king started to watch our live and jess started to flirt at him again but because king is straight and not interested on him, he decided just to go with the flow and make jess feel so fluttered.

 “bb, king is already here!” I said to jess.

 “oh my gosh!, hello baby!” excitedly answered.

 “hkahkahakha” I just laughed at them and watch them.

 While we were streaming, king messaged me and told me everything like how’ he feeling about jess’ trip.

 “ I think that jess is just tripping up with me!” king messaged.

 “ don’t you know what jess told me awhile ago? He said that you made him fluttered by saying “I love you” to him. Hkahkaha” I said.

 “yes, I told him that but in the end, I said char!”.”he’s too naughty thoo, he’s trippin’ me or making fun of me, then I’ll go with the flow.” I added.

 “hkahahakhaa” I just laugh

 “I don’t know if he’s serious or not but I never mind it anymore because for me, you’re my one and only babe.” he said.

 “but babe, lets not tell jess about us ha.” my favor for him.

 “sure, why not!” he said.

 “i just want to know something about him when it comes to, making sure that he will not steal you from me.” I naughty replied at him.

 “what a crazy mind is that my queen? Hahhaa, remember that you’re always be my babe. I love you” he answered.

 “ I love you so much babe!” I replied.

 At this point, I felt so fluttered about him but I’m still streaming so I came back from our live but this time king is not watching anymore. So as king left the stream, jess started to tell chikas about him.

 “bb, I streamed with king awhile ago and I saw that girl he was saying because he did screen-sharing.”

 “ where?” I asked

 “on his instagram bb!” he replied.

 (I got nervous but fighting since we don’t have some proof.)

 “ but bb, I’m not sure because I didn’t recognized her well, and I saw a girl too on his messenger but I don’t thins that’s it too because there are so many chatheads and it’s all groupchats as well.”

 “ahh, okay hkahakha.” I answered.

 “bb, help me ha.” asking favor.

 “yessss, promise..” I responded.

 Jess and I had a lot of chika during live streaming. We had a lot of fun during that time. From all those news that I got from jess, I put in mind that king is not making stupid things as much as cheating because he knows how painful it is. I just prayed to God that I hope king is serious about me and not cheating to another girl. And I just thought that it was just a friend that he was talking with.

 A night during at the same day, kira and I started live streaming again. At first, I critically think if should I tell kira or not about those news I heard from jess. I’m thinking because I know kira, kira is a judgemental person. Kira will say anything that she wanted to tell even without proof but for some reason I told her about it.

 “sisz, I have something to tell you.” I said.

 “what is it ?” she asked.

 “sisz, jess said a while ago in our stream that king have someone in instgram like they were chatting there.” I said.

 “aww, bad new siz!” he answered.

 “hkahka” I just laughed.

 “that’s a red flag siz. Be mindful, stop what you are guys up to!”. she said.

 “no, were not sure about it since we don’t have any proof about it!” I replied.

 At this point in time I got pissed off from kira. She had a lot of thing that she said against king. She misunderstood king and judged him without knowing the truth as well as not having a proof. I got angry on her, she messed up king’s name with other people and the reason that I got into that feeling is because I don’t want someone will be hurt just because of me. Many guys misunderstood king since there was a viewers that time before. I defended king against them but they insist that I should stop being stupid for him in that situation but I keep pointing out to them that “why would I stop without knowing his side”, “ I know what to do, and what I need to do is t seek for the truth and let him explain for his side.”, and “In the end, I don’t want to regret that I didn’t let him explain his side.”

After the argument, king join us streaming without knowing that he was our topic. Even king was in our stream, kira continue to say anything about certain problems connected in my situation. King stay still and and keeping on quiet. Because of the fact that our live title is “RED FLAG”, I think king got the point of it and he left the stream and I panicked about it so I messaged him as soon as possible.

 “babe?” I asked.

 “yes babe?” he asked.

 “why’d you left?” I asked.

 (messenger’s ringing, he called)

 “babe, why’d you left?” I asked?

 “ I just left because I can’t understand what are you guys up to.”

 “ but babe, is it true that you had someone on IG?” I asked?

 “what?, who said those things to you?, is that the reason why “red lfag” is the title of your live?” he asked like he’s stressed out.

 “i must say yes?, I don’t believe jess about it thooo.” I said.

 “if that so?, let me show you the dm section for clarification.”

 (king showed me his dm section and messenger through screen sharing)

 “see?, I don’t have another girl. The girl in my instagram is my yugo friend, the reason why I’m chatting with her is that I’m asking her if what time they are going to live.” he said.

 “well, don’t be too stressed out about that. I trust you babe. So have a good vibes..” I said to him.

 “i’ll hang up this call, go to your live and vibe with them” he said like he’s hurt.

 “don’t mind it anymore babe, just put in your mind that I trust you.” I said before he hanged up.

  “okay” he said.

 After the call, king messaged me saying “I love you” and I answered back to him “I love you too”. I cheered him up by telling him that I have trust on him that why I keep fighting for him.

 “how could you trust me? Why are you keep saying that you had trust on me, thooo were just talking on yugo and online?” he asked.

 “why?, you don’t want me to have trust on you?” I asked him back.

 “it’s up to you” he replied.

 “well, I’ll trust you anyways that I want.” I said.

 King said,“we still cant be on an intimate love.”, “were not meeting in person, we two are just hoping, and this is just a “HOPE”. it will be a long time for us to reach or pursue this kind of intimate love.”  

 “it will never be intimate if you would not give it a try, right?” I answered.

 “i just don’t want you to be hurt” he said.

 “why? Do you have plan to left me and find some other girls near to you? You don’t trust me or not?” I asked.

 “ughhh! Fuck, this is so hard to explain.” “ how could this type of our situation work?” he’s frustrating asked for me.

 “it will never work if we will not try it king.” I said.

 “so you’ll take risk, even though its an online relationship?” he asked

 “i’m ready to take risk tho, but I don’t know if you’re ready too.” I said.

 “ I want it too, but I’m too coward for this because I don’t want to cause you pain” he replied.

 “it will work if the both of us will fight together” I said.

 “ just let the time work, lets wait for the right time for us, okay?, I’m just here.” he said.

 “ I LOVE YOU” he added

 I replied, “ I LOVE YOU TOO”.

 After this conversation, I almost cry because I overthink and I overthink about what will happen the next. I had a lot of what ifs again like, “what if one day he will not chat me anymore?”, “what if he left me hangging?”, “what if he’s restraining himself for us to have an intimate love?”, “what if someday he will tell me for us to stop?”. That night I felt so unwell, I felt so empty and that time, I loose appetite to stream in yugo but after thirty minutes, That point in time, I must say that, that was the worst night that I had in my life. My what ifs that I was scared off suddenly happened on its wrong timing. My world crumbled and the only thing that I can do is to cry secretly. Not as being an exaggerated person but I asked God why did this thing happened to me?. king was the only one who made me feel that I deserve to be respected, I deserve to be love, and I’m worth it just I am. I thought he’s the one, the one that will never leave me behind.

 (king messaged me)

 “babe?” he asked

 “yes?” I respond.

 “why did you fell for me?, we don’t have label but we’re calling each other “babe” and saying “I love you” back to each others?” he asked.”I’m just clearing things up tho,”

 “I fell for you because you’re different from all those guys that I met before.” I answered.

 “ like how?” his ask.

 “i like you just the way you are. Because of you, I felt so excited to wake up in the morning, and no words can explain how different you are” I answered.

 “ cess, we don’t have label right?” he asked

 (at this point, I got very nervous, he called me cess already, there so many things came up in my mind and I don’t even know what to do.)

 “yes” I said.

 “can we stop this for a while?” he asked.

 “but why?” I asked him back.

 “ I’m having a hard time because of this, I’m studying and I’m worried if someday I cant be able to make you happy, I cant be able to update you, I cant be able to talk with you and I cant be able to make you smile” he said.

 “what if I’m not willing to stop of what we have for so long?” I asked. “ I understood your point, were both student here and all we can do is to go with the flow and sorry if kira misunderstood you before.” I added.

 After that, king called me and explain his side, he told me to stop the things that we are up to and be friends this time. He told me that he will never change, the king that I know before will be the king until the end. He’s too sorry for me, he told me that if there is something wrong about us is that could be him. I don’t need to blame myself about us because it’s all in him. He love me but the distance woke us up to reality that it will be hard for us to enter in a relationship that we were up to. In that point, I don’t know what to do but to cry and accept his decisions.

 “cess,please don’t cry anymore” his message.

 “i’m okay, thank you” I replied. “ but agai, sorry for messing up your name. I ‘am also wrong to let my feelings brought me up on what we are before.” I added.

 “it’s okay, we cant really control our emotions and again, I’m sorry” he replied.

 “yes, masakit pero ayos lang (it hurts but it’s fine)” I said.

 “i’ am really sorry, it’s all my fault” he replied.

 “ thank you for everything, for making me feel that I’m worth it to love and to have.” I said.

 “ you’re worth it, but you’re not meant for me” he said.

 “thank you king.” I replied

 And king answered, “thank you queen”.

 After our conversation, I visited my yugo and I saw jess streaming. I watched and I was invited to his live. Even though I’m still crying that time, I accepted his invitation and act like I had flu but behind that, I was still crying for what happened for awhile. Since jess and I used to talk about king, he asked me again and I answered it all.

 “bb, do you know the girls now? The girl that king talks about?” his ask.

 “uhhmm, why do you keep aking me about her?” I asked him.

 “well, I’m just curious” he said.

 “honestly, I was the girl who you wanted to know!” I answered.

 “omg, is it true? I’m sorry” he said. “how are you guys tho?” he added.

 “actually, we just ended up what we are before I stream with you. And the reason that I have runny nose it is because I’m still crying right now.” I replied

 “what was the reason?” he asked.

 “honestly because of what you’ve said before, I told kira that king has someone on his IG and she started to make assumptions against king, tho I’m not believing on that thing since I don’t have proof about it. And I think the reason why he did that decision is because he felt so down about what din kira said before” I said.

 “omg, I felt so bad for that. I think its all my fault. In our place, they always call me a relationship wrecker because I’m always messing up relationships. Today, I have I messed up three relationship. Sorry, its all my fault.” he said.

 “don’t be sorry, its not your faulth bb.” I said.

 “ I know how king loves you, he’s always sharing something good about you. He’s always flexing you cess.” he said

 “i felt that love from him jess, but I think he downgrade himself and brought himself into that decision” I replied

 “ it’s okay not to be okay bb, everythinh will be alright.” he’s cheering me up.

 “i met a lot of guys before but he’s the only one who made me feel like this, I will wait for him. I’ll wait for one week and will not entertain some other guys and if king didn’t message me within a week, I’ll let him go.

 Jess replied, “I’ll support you in any ways, I’m just here for you.”

  On the next day, I felt so empty, I don’t have appetite to attend online classes, I just wanted to sleep all day and that feeling was what I felt for a couple of days. The people that I am with in our home keep asking me “what happened to me”, I am acting different for a couple of days, and I became quiet and I just want to be alone. Because of the fact that I am broken, I brought up myself into this situation. Since I don’t know what to do, I keep on crying all day and open up from some of my friends on yugo. I did not entertain kira for three days but as a friend I forgave her.

 As time passes by, I’m still broken. I always posted a lot of “hugot” message for him, I shared posts related to my situation and how I felt since he left me, I always post memes for a purpose and all of those are for him, but as I’ve said, time passes by and the most awaited time for a couple of days just happen on its perfect timing.

 One day, on the afternoon, I was just scrolling at my social medias and unexpectedly king sent me a picture saying that “ thank you sun for the warmth, thank you clouds for the shade, and You, thank you for existing.” my heart aches because it beats so fast, I felt so fluttered about that and I rashly forward it back to him.

   After this event, everything has returned. We begin right from the start but at this point in time, we put God in the center of our relationship until he grant us the grace and time for us to meet after waiting for so long and suffer long distance relationship. Now, we are the characters of our on story, no supreme beings, no power, no fairy, and sailing on a huge sea while putting in our mind that our relationship is not like a book or a movie anymore that runs fast as flash and began and started to last.

[swedeandsour]

Ea Kaya on having a voice in the digital generation; the beauty of flaws and the importance of slowing down

Though she can certainly count her successes, making music is more than a numbers game according to Christine Kiberg, the Danish pop star better known as Ea Kaya. From her humble beginnings as YouTube cover artist to millions of streams on her Spotify page, Christine's story is one of resilience in an everchanging musical landscape. With her last record taking the heavy words "Fragile but Strong as Hell" in her title, Christine's sincerity serves as a rallying call to the downtrodden. Her music speaking a lyrical honesty rarely spoken, Ea Kaya believes that showing vulnerability isn't weakness, but rather something that demonstrates courage. But despite her successes, Ea Kaya's decided that maybe it's time for a break, to allow for her relationship with music to become intuitive again. Christine knows that she isn't perfect and neither is Ea Kaya, and that sometimes expectations whether business or personal can leave one becoming cynical and self-critical. Catching up online over Instagram memes and emails, Ea Kaya's Christine Kiberg gives us the low-down in an honest interview where she tells us about past successes and the importance of having a voice in an increasingly interconnected and rapidly-changing world. Keeping busy with her studies and reacquainting with nature to kick the Coronavirus blues, Ea Kaya caught up with us to remind ourselves the importance of slowing down and about seeing the beauty through the flaws.

Words: Peter Quincy Ng

Before Ea Kaya began, you were Christine Kiberg playing guitar covers on  YouTube. Although you didn't play your own songs back then, you obviously still  had to put your personal brand into it. Was there a selection process in the songs  you played and what you thought might resonate with fans and yourself? How has  the feedback you received as a cover artist shaped the way you are today as a  musician? 

Selecting the songs to post was quite simple: it had to be a popular, brand new song to catch the most possible viewers or just a song that I had loved. Because of my channel online, I frequently went to sites like Billboard to keep up with  International music just as much as I kept up with the music scene here in Denmark. I’ve been told countless times that my music doesn’t sound like it’s written by a Dane, and this is very likely because I’ve grown up listening to enormous streams of international pop  songs.  

By the way, congratulations on your Red Bull acoustic session of "4 AM" rolling  over one million streams on Spotify! Live sessions as we both know, were largely  exclusive to YouTube in the past, how have digital streaming platforms changed  your outlook as an artist in this new digital era of music consumption.

Thank you! The age of streaming is interesting. On one hand, I think it’s extremely exciting how everyone can release music at any given time. I also love how streaming can function like radio, in that it recommends you new music you haven’t heard before and that  probably wouldn’t find on your own. The streaming world does have a cynicism to it  though, in a degree the music industry hasn’t seen before. The supply of music is enormous, and the listener patience is decreasing. If it wasn’t for the revival of the vinyl, nobody would be buying albums anymore, and you can’t claim that there are big dollars in  streaming. We could discuss the many pros and cons of streaming for hours, but overall, I’ll say it saved the booty of the music industry from piracy.  

Ea Kaya · 4 AM

Anyway, with regards to your latest single, I love the flipping of the age-old adage, “sticks and stones can break my bones but words cannot hurt me” on "Skin and  Bones". As a person of the internet generation how important is it to realize that our online actions matter and the importance of mental health? 

Social media can be fun and we get a unique opportunity to connect with people from all  over the world. The internet is gigantic and it can seem so insignificant to write something  to a person you don’t know, who might even be sitting on the other side of the planet. The message still does reach the receiver though, and if you’ve written something that you wouldn’t tell a person face-to-face, of course your message can still hurt when it’s send in cyberspace. It’s hard not to compare yourself to what you see on social media, and many people already deal with low self-esteem. Nobody is immune to hatred, and only a fool will think their comments and messages are harmless.  

You directed your video Skin and Bones at home during quarantine, but for you,  nature was always integral to your well-being. Tell us about growing up by the water  and the woods, in Denmark and the importance of going outside.  

Everything is moving fast these days, and growing up I was taught how important it is to  pull the plug sometimes and go for a walk. The forest and the ocean therefore equal peace  to me. Besides finding calm, I find a lot of inspiration and happiness in nature. The sounds,  the smells, the beauty - it’s so genuine and fresh. I like the liveliness of the city, but living  far from nature makes me feel claustrophobic.  

The messages in your lyrics are always simple, direct and easy-to-understand. Is it  difficult putting sometimes very abstract topics into words?

Many years ago, I wrote songs that were full of metaphors and poetic descriptions; maybe to protect myself, maybe to sound artsy (laughs). I later found that it was a lot more giving to write songs that made people feel heard, understood and moved, even if it meant that I had to spill all my darkest secrets and deepest insecurities. As a songwriter, I think you  have to be willing to take chances and give away a little bit of yourself if you wish to get  something back.  

Ea Kaya · Cruel To Be Kind

One of the things I've noticed in your video especially "Remedy" and  "Cruel to Be Kind" is the topic of male vulnerability and gender fluidity. Why is it important to have these images? 

I feel extremely lucky to be a part of my generation, because we are more free than ever to love who we love, be who we want to be, express how we feel and believe in what we  believe in. Stereotypes and gender norms can be toxic, and even harmful. Telling somebody what they should do or who they should be won’t change the truth and nothing good  comes with it. For so long, standing out has been a negative thing, but we’re becoming  more and more accepting of each other’s differences. Individuality is becoming a positive thing and it’s just fantastic.  

Ea Kaya · Remedy

The title of your latest EP is "Fragile but Strong as Hell". The archetype of the  female artist is either one of female tenderness or the strong, independent, no nonsense woman. Why is it important to have that middle ground like you mention  in the title of your last record? 

Personally, I think showing weakness is a strength in itself. It’s easy to put up an armor  and only show your bright sides, but it takes courage to let people see when you feel  vulnerable. You can be fragile and strong as hell at the exact same time, and I think it’s  healthy to have both sides.  

Growing up in a musical family, music would seem like an obvious career choice.  But you're also a student in computer science, tell us how that's been and why  you've decided to do it on the back of a successful music career. 

I see why you think it’s an obvious choice. The funny thing is that all of the musicians in  my family are classical musicians, opera singers, to be exact. It’s two extremely different  worlds. It’s definitely a matter of perspective though (laughs)! Besides doing music, I recently  started studying Communication and IT. To be completely honest with you, I’ve felt trapped in a bubble for a very long time. In this business, everyone knows everyone, and most  people talk about the same thing, or about themselves or other people that you both know. Last year I decided I needed to learn something new and challenge myself. So far  it’s working out fine to do both!  

I heard you took your name Ea Kaya from "Ea" and "Kaya", both hypothetical  names you'd give your daughters if your music career never took off. Seeing that all  didn't crash and burn, what advice would you give to other young, female artists wanting to do things the Ea Kaya route? 

The Ea Kaya route is definitely the long, complicated route. If you start from scratch  without a network like I did, my advice for you is this:  

1) Practice! Then practice a bit more!  

2) Look for music offers and connections in your local area. There may be camps and classes that could be relevant. Write on music sites and social media that you are looking  for collaborators.  

3) If step #2 didn’t lead you to amazing partners that miraculously want to help you make  demos for free, then welcome to this step; get yourself a job and save up money to record  those incredible demos of yours!

4) Send your music to anyone you could imagine yourself working with. Be persistent and  if needed, pushy. Forget about modesty - if you’re on step 4, you’ve already worked your  ass off to get here.  

5) Last one: Remember why you do music. Yes, I’m bringing the cheese and the grease, but nevertheless you’re entering a strange, cool place with many ups and downs, so your  motivation is actually a very significant thing to keep in mind.  

You’re a very charismatic young woman and I don't think I can ever question your  success. But one question remains, how exactly how many popsicles did you go  through in your video for "Tied Up"? That's a lot of popsicles from what I see! 

(Laughs) That’s a quality question. I felt so bad about all those popsicles going to waste.  The cashier must’ve given my director some type of look when he went and purchased  that batch! 

Ea Kaya · Tied Up

[curewhimsy]

So I'm writing a Pandemic AU and I'll show you what I have... I guess...

It's probably not so good, since I've never really read or watched any media about this topic.

TW: Death, suicide, many possible disease-related triggers, may cause anxiety if you are the faint of heart. (Like me.)

Pandemic AU

The disease purple flu is a virus, named so as it gives your skin an odd purple hue

Symptoms- Sweating Dizziness Decreased blood flow to the head Pneumonia Congestion Stroke Hemorrhage Fever Internal bleeding Organ failure Paranoia and insanity (partly because of the mental strain of having the disease)

It can be transmitted through sweat, blood, food, and mucus. Sumi got it by ingesting food with the virus on it.

Think about how the disease and the panic effects culture. -Prayers for the world to get better -People all over are writing songs and making art pieces depicting the situation -Quarantines -Mass suicide when it looks bleak -Media that comes out is meant to cheer people up and uplift them

Think about the shortage of hospitals and how rapid people are becoming sick and dying. Eventually, it's decided nothing can be done...

Bianca's last day before the pandemic news breaks out is a very lighthearted, memorable day of having fun with friends, the exact kind of day you get sad when it ends. This is to show how suddenly lives are being affected by the disaster.

Rhona is one of the scientists researching a cure, along with Zero, and Reisei, who is a doctor in training.

The disease doesn't infect animals and Bianca feels terrible about leaving Snowbell all alone in a world with no humans, but cannot bring herself to end the cat's life. In the end, Snowbell wanders all alone until her death, caused by thirst.

Some domestic animals linger around longer than others, but all eventually pass away due to the absence of humans.

Lulu has a little song to cheer her up, her version of "A Few Of My Favorite Things". Right before her life ends, a sad reprise plays. Terrified Lulu can't handle the circumstances, and waits for the disease to kill her in order to escape the hellish world filled with suffering.

Bianca, a germaphobe, can't handle medical stuff, and panics more than anyone else. She's the type of person to get stressed even when the common cold makes its way around her school. Only this time, it's going around the entire world and it's killing everyone in its path! How fun!

"This is it. This is the end. I'm going to die. I've decided to take it. I wonder though, what happens next?"

"Goodbye..."

People dying before being able to live their dreams.

"Little did I know that happy times would be over for those innocent kids playing on the street, the merry adults going on their way, those peaceful old folk, and everyone. Little did we know we had our final happy Christmas, and that starting when I got sick, the days were going to be winding down."

Lots of crying, fear, panic, and emotions. Even the most stoic characters end up breaking down into a sobbing mess.

SPOILERS: Everyone dies.

The cure is halfway complete, but all the scientists died before they could finish it.

SPOILERS: BUT, in the end, it is revealed that heaven does indeed exist and everyone is reunited and in a much better place. After all the horror they faced, they all became heroes in their own right.

Earth will be there, just the way it was left when everyone died. It will be this way for hundreds, thousands of years.

However, there might be alternate endings. There could be an ending where only half the population survives as well.

------

Story Progression- This is an AU that takes place solely on planet Earth. "It all started with a honey bun." The disease starts in Canada in January 2018 after Sumi eats a contaminated honey bun out of an old vending machine at a party. Sumi contaminates Ember and Reina. Ember contaminates Claudia. Reina flies down to Brazil to visit family and unintentionally brings the disease with her. Ember ends up contaminating Alaska when visiting her family back in Barrow. Claudia brings the disease to Belgium when she visits her grandparents.

Bianca, one healthy person in Maryland with sick people all around her, feels helpless...

Bells ringing signaling the world going into emergency

The final one to die...?

------

Sumi's POV

That night I first started randomly sweating buckets, I just didn't think much about it. I thought it was unusual, but maybe I was just overworked or coming down with something mild. I did just come back from a lively party where I did do a lot of dancing. I'm an introvert, so such things do tend to take a lot out of me. It was probably nothing. I was sure of it. I was so sure I would wake up the next morning and forget all about it.

I made sure I drank an extra cup of water that night, and went to sleep. Little did I know, I wasn't going to get better, and that this was the modest beginning of a dreadful nightmare.

It turned out, I was one of the first people to contact the fatal purple flu.

------

When I woke up the next morning, I felt sluggish and the first sensation I noticed were my soaked pajamas and bedsheets. It was as if my entire skin had sprung one big leak.

I had been sweating profusely all night long.

That's when I started to worry. But of course my mind didn't jump to a pandemic just yet.

"I wonder what's wrong..." I asked myself. I normally didn't sweat when I was sick, and even when I did, it wasn't without the congestion and fever. What could've been the cause of my sudden profuse sweating?

I took of my wet clothes, dried my embarrassingly wet body with a towel, took out my tablet and began to look on Google. I normally didn't look up my symptoms online, but this time I felt stumped.

Long story short, Google didn't help. I just moved out on my own, so I decided to call my parents. It was still quite early in the morning, but I'm sure they would understand.

"Hey, mom? Um... this will sound a little weird, but I started sweating a lot last night."

"What?" Came the voice on the other line. "Sweating?"

"Yes, I'm sweating a lot. And the next morning I woke up soaked."

"You're probably just coming down with something. Take it easy today." My mother said.

"Oh no, I can't..." I said, "I have a big exam in a few days..."

"I'm sorry about that, just do your best!" My mom said.

That's right. I was just coming down with something. I tried reminding myself. But I somehow just couldn't convince myself. This felt so different. For the first time, I thought that maybe it was serious. But I never would have imagined it was the start of a pandemic.

------

I was still sweating when I got to school. At this point, it was just embarrassing.

"Hey, Ember." I said when I passed by her on the campus.

"Sumi! What's up?" My friend responded.

Was I going to tell her? I decided to try, but it didn't quite go in depth.

"I didn't feel so good last night." I said. "In fact, I still don't feel good now." I said.

"Hm, yeah. You don't look too good. You're all red..."

"Yeah... well, actually I've really just been-"

But before I could say the word "sweating", Ember got a phone call.

"Oh, Sumi? I gotta go now. Claudia wanted me to meet her by the bridge."

"Oh. Alright." I said, "It's time for my class anyway." I said.

"You take care, I hope you feel better!" Ember waved to me. I waved back.

Little did I know, these normal days were basically about to end.

------

Art class started normally. I was a bit late, so I had to sit further in the back. Wiping sweat off my brow, I was hoping to live out my day normally. I chatted with a few other students and followed the professor's instructions.

But by the time we started drawing figures, I felt a little dizzy. I shrugged it off. But by the third or forth pang of dizziness, I realized it could've had something to do with my sweating. I bit my lip and decided if it continued, I would go to the nurse on campus.

The pangs returned, and right before I decided to raise my hand, the dizziness got intense. I felt sweat streaming from my pores...

"You look horrible, Sumi." The professor said. How nice of him to say. But I understood. I was so red I looked purple.

When I spoke, my speech was slurred, and by this time I was frightened.

I barely remembered the words my professor said when he dismissed me. I just remember myself rushing out of the room and forgetting my favorite pencil.

By the time I got to the nurse's office I could barely stand.

"Um... can I lay down?" I asked.

"Oh heavens, sure you can!" The nurse said. "I'm sorry you don't feel good."

I didn't know if I could drive home at this point. Not like this. I decided to call my mom, but during the middle of the conversation, my phone hit the ground, or so she tells me.

When I woke up, I didn't know what had happened, but I saw my friend Reina there...

[musingsofazumbamind]

Virtual Pro

When you take my virtual fitness classes online, you see me, more makeup than normal, livingroom lamp lighting coming into my face and my empty kitchen. You see my tendency to keep it simple, especially when I dance near the camera, and I cue the layers a lot more when I’m up against the wall. (The literal wall.)

But what you miss is all the fun that goes into setting up the actual space, the amount of time taken to produce choreography, cues or progressions that translate on screen, and the business gears that turn continually to make sure classes continue. 

Essentially the carnival is always in business but the Tilt a Whirl becomes a kitchen table when it’s not in action.

All chairs get moved to the north side of my livingroom, in a line like children ready to sing for grandparents. One stool is moved to the end of the chairs, like a sentinel. The table is moved exactly 3″ from the line of the wood floor and the carpet,  and the legs are in parallel to the line of the kitchen and butted up against the couch. Then two dish clothes are placed on the table in square fashion, towards the front of the table that is closest to me. Our livingroom lamp comes behind the table and tape helps each of the three lights angle upwards, behind the whole set up so there is more light in my general direction, and if it is a nighttime class, the kitchen lights, the dining room light and the fireplace light all get flipped on. Then the magic happens, the last stool goes on the table. It has a Ring Light permanently (semi-permanently) painter’s taped to itself and the chair then fits in the square of the towels on the table, facing me.

A gracious lesson I learned from Kass Martin, and moreso, her sister Emily Engemann, is that light behind a camera held high makes you look younger. In fact, as we go to take selfies we often joke, “younger” (higher), “or, younger” (higher) as we tweak the angle. So the difference between a table directly in front of me with a chair versus a stool is a few years, and those years count!

Then the bluetooth speaker is paired to the music, which has a success rate of 90% if using playlists on Spotify and only 50% if using iTunes. If I want the music to work, I use Spotify. If I want the music to blend to exactly 9 seconds, and I don’t mind praying, I try iTunes. And either way, I have to prepare for the speaker not working at some point either way, which means I have to really “sell it” as I teach if it turns into whisper-mode.  *Side note* I try to build my playlists on both Spotify and ITunes for anyone who wishes to subscribe!

Then the laptop is placed on the stool (on the table, on its perch) and set to a specific angle, in line with the “rectangle” formed by my kitchen, the line of my patio door, and the youthfulness of my forehead wrinkles. If they disappear up close, the lighting is set. Then Zoom is opened, I pair the sound internally while still keeping my microphone on, and wait for folks to join while jamming out in my kitchen, generally to the newest songs added in my playlist for peace of mind.

According to Virtual Pro training with ZES Jenna Bostic last week I am doing this right! It feels good knowing that my set up and style are what Home Office is hoping we use and the ways I have my lights, my open space, my paired sound are all in alignment. I am grateful for the training, especially to reinforce that I am doing something right!

Then comes the time I practice the new material from the training, two layers of thought I had not considered. First, I need to consider choreography in three sections, and that one layer is simple, meant for connecting with folks on the screen. Another layer essentially stays contained, within a few steps or so. And last, the final section of choreo that has more progessions might need the balance of something simple after and it needs every cue I can muster. The other piece of training I had not considered was the sheer amount of cues needed in a virtual setting, and how our typical Pro Skills cues (top down, rather large, somewhat organic) may not translate on screen. 

In other words, I have spent the past week of classes practicing keeping things three dimentional as I connect with those on the screen. I have held cues longer than I ever thought reasonable. I have marched and smiled into the camera in more songs, and stayed back towards my kitchen wall and navigated tricky sections like a pro. The feedback I have gotten so far is that the difference between old cues and new cues is slight but appreciated; the amount of joy and connection is the same but it seems like I am teaching “with a purpose”.

The tech support of Virtual Pro training is perfect if you have yet to teach, or have an interesting dance space to work with. The reminders about sections of choreo and cueing are essential, and the drills that include practice in your space are incredibly helpful.  I highly recommend taking Virtual Pro training, if for no other reason than it helps your people see your “purpose” and your passion with a bit more clarity. And at this stage in the quarantine game, I truly hope you keep your passion!