#or Tom Bertram for that matter | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nntheblog · 2 years

Text

Fat Cartoon Characters : Our Top 25+ Of All Time

This is a list of fat cartoon characters you may be familiar with. These cartoon characters are aired in different shows and are a combination of both male and female characters. You will be a cartoon fan, and you will see that these characters are some of the most memorable you have ever seen. You will see them in memes all over the internet. We've given a brief overview of each one so you can easily skim and get to understand them all. Fat Cartoon Characters https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-RIEmUApOc Comparison of the Fattest Cartoon Characters Ever 24. Chief Clancy Wiggum Chief Wiggum is a male cartoon character from The Simpsons. He is 43 and still living as we speak. He wears blue hair. He plays the role of a Springfield police chief. He is also the father to Ralph Wiggum, and is married to Sarah Wiggum. Many people are unsure if Ralph Wiggum is the Chief Wiggum's son. We will try to answer these questions. He is the only beloved son of Chief Wiggum, and his wife Sarah. 23. Ralph Wiggum We mentioned that he is the son and cartoon character of Police Chief Wiggum. His father is black-haired and he attends Springfield elementary school. Ralph Wiggum is a regular character in the Simpsons animated show. His voice is by Nancy Cartwright. He is known for his funny memes and quotes. 22. Mrs. Puff She is a fat female cute cartoon character that features in the Nickelodeon animated TV series The SpongeBob SquarePants played by Mary Jo Catlett. She made her debut in the 1999 episode of Boating School. Mrs. Puff dislikes SpongeBob for his reckless driving. She gets annoyed whenever she sees SpongeBob outside of school. 21. Mammy Two Shoes Mammy Two Shoes, a fat cartoon female character, first appeared in Puss Gets The Boot on February 10, 1940. She is a middle-aged African-American and a housemaid tasked with taking care of the house that Tom and Jerry reside in the MGM’s Tom and Jerry cartoons that are played by Nicole Oliver. Mammy Two Shoes is an amazing cartoon character with great quotes and a well-built body. 20. Peter Griffin Franchise: Family Guy Peter Löwenbrau McFinnigan Griffin, known simply as Peter Griffin, is a fictional character and the main protagonist of the Family Guy series. He is the patriarch of the Griffin family, he is married to Lois Pewterschmidt, with whom he has three children, Meg, Chris and Stewie Griffin, he is also Bertram’s biological father. Seth MacFarlane voices him with a thick Rhodesian accent. This actor was also the creator of the series. He created Peter and the rest in the premiere episode of the first season on January 31, 1999. Super Bowl XXXIII. 19. Patrick Star Franchise: SpongeBob SquarePants Patrick Star is a character in the American animated television series. SpongeBob SquarePants. The first episode of the series aired Patrick's first appearance on May 1, 1999. Patrick is a pale pink starfish who lives under a rock in Bikini Bottom, next to Squidward. His most distinctive character trait is his inability to use common sense. This sometimes leads him to get into trouble with SpongeBob SquarePants, his best friend. Patrick is unemployed and describes himself as an expert in the “art of doing nothing”. Both fans and critics love the character. 18. Hachigen Ushōda Franchise: Bleach This Visored, an expert in Bakudo is also a skilled at melee. However, he can wield a sword. Because he is a Bakudo specialist, he has become more friendly with Orihime. He believes they have the same power. He will aid her, in particular, to regenerate Tsubaki that was scattered during the fight against Yammy. He was Tessai’s second in the Necromancer Corps and therefore he excels in matters of Kido and Bakudo. He will be sent to rescue 9Th division as a member of the special division, along with the other future vizards, he will immobilize Kensei and Mashiro with his Bakudo but will also end up transforming into a Hollow. In the battle at Karakura he sent his right arm, infected by the power of Barragan Luisenbarn, into the latter’s stomach. This will have the purpose of killing the “King of the Hueco Mundo”. His power is such that he is able to send a type 99 bakudo without incantation (Kensei’s hollow paid the price in volume 36), which is remarkable. 17. Russell Franchise: Up! An eight-year-old boy scout who stowaways on Carl’s houseboat, which he assists for most of the story, for the purpose of earning his “Assisting the Elderly” medal, the only one given to him. To be promoted to a higher rank. However, despite being a scout he has never been in direct contact with wildlife. He also feels discouraged by his father's inability to spend enough time with him. Russell suggests to Carl, in a brief conversation with him, that his parents are divorced. The character’s design is based on Pixar animator Peter Sohn. Docter auditioned over 400 children in order to choose the right actor. The auditions were held all over the United States. Nagai (of Japanese-American heritage) appeared at the test with his brother who was interested in the character. Docter instantly noticed that Nagai spoke and acted in a way similar to Russell's, so Docter decided to cast him. He encouraged the boy to perform physically and vocally during the recording process, particularly in the scene where Russell meets Kevin. 16. Paxton Franchise: Timmy Time Paxton is a little pig that says “oink oink”. He is known for his appetite and his weight. He is always wearing a blue sweater with horizontal yellow lines across his chest. He is cheerful and avoids conflict with others. He loves to eat, especially red (or green) apples. But, he will often be seen enjoying a sandwich. He enjoys flying the kite, and is an excellent football player. Sometimes he can be unintentionally awkward. 15. Muriel Bagge Franchise: Courage the Cowardly Dog Show Muriel Bagge is Eustace's owner and Muriel Bagge her wife. She is an elderly, overweight and hardworking Scots woman. Muriel often carries a rolling-pin with her that she uses to hit Eustace when she is trying to harass Courage. She enjoys tea and tends to her gardens. Muriel has a passion for cooking, but her recipes often include too much vinegar to her dismay. Muriel loves to relax in her rocking chair and watch TV with Courage. Muriel is a target for villains because of her sweet and kind nature. 14. Majin Buu (Good Buu) Franchise: Dragon Ball Once the Great Kaiohshin in the South is also absorbed the Majin Buu Kaioshin from the South becomes Good Buu or Fat Buu. It is the form inwhich, in the Dragon Ball manga and in Dragon Ball ZWe are first presented with the demon: he is cheerful, playful, and a lover sweets (a trait inherited form the Great Kaiohshin). Despite his obesity, he's very strong and Vegeta is unable control him. He fights with Goku at Super Saiyan 3 and is on par with Goku. Goku later claimed that he could have defeated Goku. The clothing he wears is the same as Kid Buu, except that his boots turn yellow. He also has a vest, a purple cover and a pair yellow gloves. 13. Eric Cartman Franchise: South Park Cartman is a student at South Park Elementary School, in Mr. Garrison’s class. During the first 58 episodes Cartman and his comrades remained in CE. They then moved to a class called CM where they have remained ever since. He is the son of Liane, a single mother that claims to be hermaphrodite. She also conceived Eric. In episode 201 (season 14), we finally discover the identity of his biological father. Cartman is considered the “little fat” of the gang and his obesity is often the subject of ridicule. Kyle, who is Jewish, is often the subject of Cartman’s defamatory accusations and anti-Semitic slurs. They have never supported one another and their rivalry has grown over the series. 12. Uncle Fester Franchise: Addams Family Fester is a completely unbald man. He is chubby and giddy, and often wears a fur coat. Fester is an arsonist, as he enjoys the sound of explosions and is known to be a masochist. His mouth is capable of conducting electricity and turning on light bulbs. He is able to resist any physical injury with a superhuman strength. In the original series, Fester is mentioned as Morticia’s uncle. In the original series, Fester's last name is not revealed. But in all other versions Fester is Gomez’s brother and Pugsley and Wednesday’s uncle, and is assigned the surname Addams. 11. Fred Flintstone Franchise: The Flintstones Fred Flintstone is Fred Flintstone's main character in this cartoon series The FlintstonesFrom 1959 to 1966, ABC TV aired the original prime-time television show, titled "The Observer". Fred is the husband and father of Wilma. Betty Rubble and Barney Rubble are his best friends. Fred lives in Bedrock. This fictional prehistoric city is where Fred meets modern cavemen. Wash. 10. Baymax Franchise: Big Hero 6 (Disney) Baymax, a universal nurse robot made by Tadashi, is often seen as a reassuring ballsman and is thought to resemble an enormous marshmallow. Hiro later modifies him to fight crime, and he becomes Big Hero 6's best friend. He activates when he hears a sound of pain, and then deactivates by saying "I am satisfied with the treatment." His program states that he is calm, dedicated, and calm. But, if he has a combat chip, he will become more aggressive and combative. He becomes aggressive and difficult to control if his combat chip is removed. As he builds a friendship with Hiro, he begins to experience human-like emotions and download data and information to help support him after Tadashi’s death, and becomes very protective of him, not just by protocol, but because of his friendship with the boy, to the point of becoming insistent when he feels he needs his help and disobeying his orders when he wants him to kill Callaghan to avenge Tadashi. Red armor is provided with wings and thrusters for flying and magnets to keep Hiro on the back. He also has martial arts moves such as karate and attacks with his fists. He ends up stuck in another dimension to save Callaghan’s daughter, but is eventually rebuilt 9. Garfield Franchise: Garfield Garfield is a fictional feline from the comic strip Garfield created by Jim Davis and first published on June 19, 1978 by United Feature Syndicate in syndication to 41 newspapers. This character enjoys to eat, sleep and annoy Jon, his master. He speaks through thought bubbles, and while other animals can understand him, Jon usually can’t (although Jon does have what sounds like a conversation with Garfield). Rarely, Jon’s reaction involves reading Garfield’s mind, but it has happened before, as in the comic strip dated January 21, 1992. 8. Shrek Franchise: Shrek American writer William Steig created Shrek and Dreamworks Animation adapted it. He is the main character in the book and movie with the same name. This started a franchise that includes movies, TV series, musicals, and more. Shrek, a giant green ogre who lives within a swamp, is the main character. He lives happily there, scaring anyone who dares to venture out or gets lost. Then he discovers that Lord Farquaad has driven the fairy-tale characters from the area. After speaking with him, he agrees that he will rescue Princess Fiona in return for Farquaad removing all fairy-tale characters. Donkey will be his new friend. 7. Porky Pig Franchise: Looney Tunes Redler Olan “Porky” Pig or simply Porky, is an American fictional character from Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies created by Warner Bros studios, whose first successful character he is. The animators (in particular Bob Clampett) produced several short films with this anthropomorphic pig as the main character. Even after being supplanted by the studio’s other future characters, Porky did not lose his popularity, even though the directors at Warners Bros. now gave him the roles of sidekickAnd handyman. He is known for his sentence that ends the cartoon: “Th’ the-ba-dee th’-the-dee that’s all, folks!” “. Bosko, Buddy, Beans, and even Beans used this catchphrase, but without the stutter. Looney Tunes cartoon. Contrary to this, Merrie Melodies series used the tagline: “So Long, Folks!” until it appeared on the Looney Tunes series in the 1930s. Porky is the oldest Looney Tunes character still used, including on the Looney Tunes Show and Bugs! A Looney Tunes Production. Porky’s most distinct character trait is his very strong stutter, in which he replaces words he can’t seem to get out with other words. Porky is said to have appeared in 152 cartoons during the Golden Age of American Animation. 6. Winnie the Pooh Franchise: Winne the Pooh (Disney) Winnie the Pooh is a character from childhood literature created on October 15, 1926 by Alan Alexander Milne. The character of Winnie, an animated teddy bear, was inspired by the author by his son, Christopher, whom he saw playing with his stuffed animals. In the same way that children invent stories in which they are the only ones to perceive the stakes, WinnieAnd her friends experience adventures that may seem ridiculous to adults. The universe where these characters are born is happy and kind without worrying. Winnie is a yellow bear cub that the narrator of his adventures often describes as “little savvy”. Although he may not be very smart, he has a big smile and is a good friend. He has a cute sin: he is addicted to honey. Bees are one of his problems. 5. Po Franchise: Kung-Fu Panda Po is a giant Panda who lives with Mr. San Ping. His adoptive father (a Gander) runs a Noodle Restaurant and Po works as a server. He dreams of becoming a kung fu master, and fighting alongside the Five Cyclones (Tigress Monkey, Viper Crane, Crane, and Mantis), who are master Shifu's students. Accidentally falling in the arena, master Oogway chooses him to be the dragon fighter. Master Shifu doesn't believe Po is worthy of his trust, as he is not a master in kung fu. Po is determined to persevere despite being told he will die. While Taï Lung, a former student of master Shifu, escaped from prison (in which he was locked up for 20 years), master Oogway, before disappearing, tries to convince his former student and old friend to train Po, to teach him kung fu and believe in him. Shifu takes Po under his wing to teach him martial arts. Po learns kung fu quickly and efficiently thanks to Shifu. Meanwhile, five Cyclones Five face Tai Lung and are defeated quickly by the latter with an attack that is crippling. Po eventually gets the Dragon Scroll. Upon Taï Lung’s arrival at the Valley, Shifu tries to buy time by confronting him but is defeated by his former student. Po intervenes and confronts his opponent. After a hard fight, Po finally defeats his opponent. 4. Totoro Franchise: Tonari no Totoro (Studio Ghibli) Totoro lives in Tsukamori forest in the area of the Kusakabe family. Only children can see him. Totoro is also used as a general term to describe creatures of different sizes. The character is named Totoro in the movie My Neighbor Totoro. Totoro is an supporting character in the spinoff Mei and Baby Cat Bus. His name Totoro is a modified version of Torōru, which means something like troll. Since Mei can’t even pronounce Torōru, she calls him Totoro instead. 3. Homer Simpson Franchise: The Simpsons Homer is the father to the Simpson family. They have three children together: Bart (10 year old), Lisa (8 year old), and Maggie (2 year old). Season 24, Episode 3, tells us that his father made many donations to the Shelbyville Sperm Bank when he was a young man to help him earn money. He would have done enough to afford a Corvette, we also see a table filled with photos of “mini-Homer”: whites, blacks, girls, boys… and even septuplets. He works at the Springfield nuclear plant. He is a typical American working-class stereotype. He is a vulgar, alcoholic and overweight man, but he is also incompetent, incompetent, lazy, ignorant, and is devoted to his family. He was a suburban worker who had few extraordinary adventures, despite his routine. 2. Obélix Franchise: Astérix Obélix was born on the same day and at the same time as his friend Astérix in the village where they will both evolve in all the albums. His mother feeds him roasted wild boar as a snack during his childhood. Despite his corpulence, the young Obélix was weak, and his comrades took the opportunity to make fun of him. It was to put an end to the mockery that he sneaked into the hut of the druid Panoramix with the help of his friend Astérix, with the idea of drinking a little magic potion. But a clumsiness caused him to fall into the druid’s pot full of magic potion; stuck in the pot, he will drink the entire contents. Since then the effects of magic potion have been permanent in his house and he is prohibited from drinking it again. However, he will eventually be able to take small amounts. 1. Pumbaa Franchise: The Lion King (Disney) Pumbaa, a warthog. He is a warthog. His noble nature and big heart make him a great companion. However, his serious flatulence problems have led to him being excluded from the Pride Lands. He made a friendship with Timon, a meerkat and another outcast. Together they migrated to the jungle, where they lived under the philosophy of “do not worry” (Hakuna Matata). He is a dimwitted, somewhat clumsy man, but he has a big heart, strong sense of responsibility and a strong mind. This often leads to him being manipulated by Timon. Pumbaa and Timon discovered Simba was dying and took him to the jungle. They eventually returned to the Pride Lands, where they helped Scar and his hyenas defeat. Pumbaa, Timon and their carefree lifestyle were maintained by them returning to the Pride Lands. They also acted as babysitters for Princess Kiara and mentors for Bunga. Read the full article

0 notes

thatscarletflycatcher · 3 years

Text

I didn't tell... because I'm not sure. I think it would be something transformative in the way 2004 was transformative (different tropes and tone, of course, but the mechanisms would be the same). She is a very imaginative writer, so I feel kind of foolish doing this, but you asked:

- effort in making it a more classic romance story between Edmund and Fanny. Would probably draw the "it was you all along" factor from Emma.

- That means that Edmund would be made to be rather easily impressionable and likely to think well of people no matter what (so, a Jane Bennet kind of). He'd be made to have always been in love with Fanny, just too shy, concerned with Fanny's position in the family and sir Thomas' opinion to do anything about it. His falling for Mary would be more about trying to force himself to love someone other than Fanny.

-Fanny herself, a lot like Margaret in N&S, wouldn't be transformed beyond recognition, but would also not have much of a personality at all. We'll see that she gets fatigued, but great emphasis would be put in the things she does (her riding and her errands and work for her aunts). The scene where she fears she may be sent to live with aunt Norris wouldn't include heavy hints of unspoken reciprocal feelings between Edmund and her.

- I don't think the secondary characters would be much changed. Mary and Henry would regret Fanny and Edmund the same way Willoughby regrets Marianne in S&S 96.

- regency doctors! Pretty sure we'd get visits and diagnostics for Fanny, Mrs. Bertram, and Tom.

- Stories of Antigua by sir Thomas, and trinkets from there would be important (probably showcased in his study), as would be William's stories about life at sea.

- There would be an ambivalent view of Portsmouth, and if possible we'd get to see quite a bit of the city, and the way it reflects both Susan and William, and the rest of the Prices on the other side.

- I suspect the Prices would be made a little more coarser, and Susan rather more lively and romantic than strong willed and angry (the Rivers sisters underwent this change in 2006 to offer higher contrast with Jane rather than similarity).

- Fanny would pity Henry.

- The adaptation would be less humorous than the book (she does better when the humor has to do with dialogue than when it has to do with situational humor. Compare Emma 2009 vs. N&S 04).

- Most of the longer bits of the story would be compressed (like the theatricals) for the sake of faster pacing. I think this series would dedicate the most time to everything that happens after Maria's wedding.

- Edmund's proposal would take some elements of earlier significance, so perhaps it would happen during a ride out together, and be short and sweet (I'm thinking of something similar to Laurie's proposal to Amy in Little Women).

- she wouldn't use the same pony twice, so I don't think she'd make a preface montage like in Emma, but oh boy wouldn't that be beautiful.

- as for an ending-ending scene... she is not fond of using weddings for endings. In N&S she ends in a scene that mirrors the opening scene of the series. In both JE06 and Emma09 the stories ends with a secondary wish of the heroine being fulfilled (Jane gets a big family, Emma gets to see the seaside). One possibility would be the baptism of Fanny and Edmund's first child at Thronton Lacey, but mostly a garden party afterwards, where we'd get to see Fanny at the center of attention, being honored by the Bertrams, with Susan and William celebrating with her as well.

#jane austen #Mansfield Park #Sandy Welch #ask #kind of

18 notes · View notes

sevsssnape · 3 years

Text

why i hate james potter more than the other marauders

okay first we’re going to have some dumbledore bashing which leads to us figuring out why james potter fucking sucks, so hang on tight.

some stuff we know abt Albus Dumbledore

since a young age, he was planning on collecting the deathly hollows

he had an incredible amount of power and connections everywhere, one of the examples that fucking blows me away is how he was able to get into no less than fucking Azkaban to get Morfin Gaunt’s memory.

was one academy award-level actor, who played and/or gained the trust of anyone he needed to get his way and use them when in need. and everyone with as much effort as needed, i’m going to mention and analyse some examples:

Hagrid, a half-giant, was his chance among the giants (that he did actually take). he was gullible, and didn’t even need any sort of effort to be manipulated. Dumbledore didn’t even need to prove his innocence and bring him back to school as he did with Newt, and Hagrid still worshipped him like a god bc he gave him a shitty job.

Newt, the obviously brilliant student he wanted to keep on his side, who turned out to be an even bigger help, forcing him to go to the US. Newt wasn’t gullible, and wouldn’t have done him the favour if he didn’t owe him his Hogwarts years.

we don’t even need to explain what he did with Harry now, do we?

and finally, the Marauders. Starting with Remus Lupin, the werewolf, a golden fucking ticket for Dumbledore to use in building a connection among the werewolves, he went to their fucking house, and talked them into letting him come to the school. last time he did such thing was with no less than Tom fucking Riddle who had been because of his exceptional talent. This shows just how important it had been for Dumbledore to have a link inside the werewolves’ circle. He brings him to school, and goes all the way out of his way to build the shrieking shack (!!), didn’t let the news of the attempted murder of one the students get out by any means and supported Lupin until the very last day of Hogwarts.

Sirius Black. the future Heir of no less than the noble and most ancient house of Black. the incredible wealth and political power, making him a FUCKING JGRWESKLF connection to the heart of the most powerful and Darkest families in Britain. exceptional magical talent (i direct you to here ). Dumbledore supported him throughout the seven Hogwarts years, ignoring all the things he did to students (and no, not just severus, i direct you to here explaining that they used an illegal hex on a boy named Bertram Aubrey, and just lol the hypocrisy) which included a fucking attempted m u r d e r.

and lastly, we have James Potter (not going to analyse the rat’s life, bc i think the only reason his behaviour was excused had been bc he was “friends” with Dumbledore’s precious other three Marauders). James Potter, the future Heir of the Potter family, who were not only wealthy and powerful, and incredible Light allies, but also possessed no other than the Invisibility Cloak :))))) - and you might wonder why and how had Dumbledore come in possession of the Invisibility Cloak prior to giving it to Harry :)) the same goes for James Potter; being forgiven no matter what he did, sexual assault, attempted murder, nothing, and also being named Head Boy, even though he had never been a Prefect, l o l. He was Dumbledore’s most beloved.

so he had his reasons to support whoever he did, each to a certain level, due to the uses or possible uses they could have for him.

now, this wouldn’t just work one-sidedly. when someone random offers to do a huge favour for you, the first question you ask them is fucking why? and what’s in it for you? and you would not easily trust them when they don’t provide you a logical answer, unless you’re 1. desperate 2. not in perfect status to think and analyse (drunk, anxious, mentally abused, in a really young age etc.) or 3. too fucking stupid

as for the ones mentioned above:

Hagrid: both 1 and 3

Newt: 1

Harry: both 1 and 2 (my poor boy </3)

Lupin: 1

Sirius: both 1 and 2, desperately in need to get away from his family, and Dumbledore being the literal exact opposite of Sirius’ abusive mother and family, and seeing the opportunity of joining the glorious Light, and later the Order, the immediate and perfect chance to get away from it all. He saw Dumbledore as someone who was helping a little boy in need to get away from his abusive family. A kind-hearted saint. So what Dumbledore said was right, and what he demanded from them was right, because he was his saint. so when he excused what they did in their years, and brushed them off, that would mean that they have no way been wrong and cruel, bc this angelic man has no tolerance for cruelty and would rescue the victims as he did with Sirius, right? (and we’re considering that the main abusive Marauders had been SIrius and James Potter, and Lupin hadn’t been an arsehole)

but James Potter, he wasn’t by any means desperate. He wasn’t abused at home, didn’t have a secret condition who could ruin all his chances in life, his life and education didn’t depend on no other than Albus Dumbledore, no. He was a hot, popular rich-kid jock, who was raised in the best conditions. he had no reason to be manipulated by Dumbledore, no reason to owe him, to need him, he just did it, took the favours and trusted Dumbledore without ever asking “why?”, only and only because he was too fucking stupid.

there is no reason you can excuse the things James Potter did. the rat was a fucking coward that followed them around, Sirius Black was abused and projected his anger and hatred and the abuse he had seen from his family on the easiest shot similar to them, but James Potter was just a true, total arsehole. nothing more than a fucking bully.

and i don’t think he would’ve changed a bit had he lived.

Sirius and Remus both had mentioned their regret towards the things they’d done, because they had lost the reasons they had to excuse themselves throughout time, and in case of Sirius, he had also had twelve years of Azkaban to think of everything he had and had not done in his life. so they came to the realisation that they’d done wrong.

but someone who hadn’t ever had a reason for doing the cruel things they did, and had only done them because they wanted to, and they could, this person hasn’t really got a place for redemption, because they had never seen the wrong in what they do, so what is there for them to regret?

#anti james potter #albus dumbledore bashing #sirius black #remus lupin #severus snape #Pro Snape #i fucking hate james potter

42 notes · View notes

idy-ll-ique · 3 years

Text

Balisong.

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Mutual Pining, Roommate AU

Requested: by @tom-hlover

Tom Hiddleston x (roommate) reader where reader is harboring a secret crush on Tom, but she thinks that Tom only sees her as a friend, she loves to sing when she's alone, and sends Tom letters through the mailbox making it seem from another place,but in reality the return address is from her friend's address whom is out of the country and lets reader use the address for now, as she is serving as the house's caretaker as well 😅😅 until Tom finds out and also turns out hears reader's singing? And I was thinking of the song "Bali Song" by Rivermaya for that one particularly 😅😅😊😊

Summary: Y/N, who is roommates with Tom Hiddleston (omg they were roommates) has a crush on him and instead of confessing her love like a normal person, she writes him love-letters using a fake identity and address. What happens when Tom finds out, though?

Warnings: None

Author's Note: Hey guys! Special shoutout to @tom-hlover for the prompt, finished writing it under an hour so you have to excuse me if it's crappy. Enjoy!

---

Y/N POV:

"Oh, look, another letter from the secret admirer. I wonder what she wrote this time."

I looked up from where I was tending to the houseplants and gave Tom a quick grin. "Endearing words, as always. She does like you a lot," I professed with a slight chuckle, giving him a small smile and looking away when I felt a blush creeping up on my cheeks.

Tom sat down on the couch and opened the letter. "Dear Tom…" I stopped listening after that, I knew the whole thing to heart anyway. Wondering how? Well, I was the one who wrote it, simple! Let me explain. I'm Y/N Y/L/N and the person I was speaking to? Tom Hiddleston, my roomie.

Yeah we lived together; we had been friends for a long time and I needed a place so Tom offered to keep me at his home until I found another home. Nearly 5 years had passed since that incident and now we sort of just lived together, fallen into a nice, daily routine. I also happened to have a huge, huge, huge crush on him. Knowing how many other people, much better than myself, adored him, I kept my feelings to myself.

Oh and by the way, I paid my share of the rent so don't come at me! "She's so sweet with these, I might just pay her a visit! What is the address?" I looked up, wide-eyed as Tom took the envelope in his hand. "Do you really need to?" I blurted out, turning red when he squinted his eyes at me. "Do you know this person?" he blinked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course I don't," I muttered, "You know what? Fine, go meet this person. I just hope they're not, you know, a psychopath." Yes, I knew I was talking about myself but was I wrong, though? Instead of confessing my feelings like a normal person, I was sending letters to my crush like I lived in the Victorian Era, using my best friend's address while she was out living somewhere else.

"I'm sure she's not. Anyway, what are your plans for later?" He let out a yawn, slouching on the couch. "Nothing much, I finish some work and then bam, dinner time." Tom laughed. "I have an interview early tomorrow, so I'm going to sleep early tonight. What do you want for dinner?" I shrugged. "Anything's fine, thanks!" He ruffled my hair and got up, going to the kitchen.

Okay, I see a lot of you are staring in confusion, let me clear things up yet again. I liked Tom for nearly 3 years now, but had no idea how to proceed with my feelings. Did he even like me back? Would he even like me back? That's when my best friend gave me a brilliant idea.

She said she was moving elsewhere and that her previous house was going to be empty but she was still going to be the owner. "Hey, Y/N, maybe you can go live there if you want!" she suggested. And I told her, "Hm, I'll think about it." Ever since then, I was the caretaker of the house, visiting it once a week to see if everything was okay with it.

One day when I was there, looking out the balcony into the garden, I came across the said brilliant idea. Why don't I just send letters to Tom from this address confessing my love?! He didn't know about it, and I technically won't be telling him anything in person. A great way to get the feelings off my chest while not getting the feelings off my chest!

Ever since then, I had started writing letters to him, once a week. Most of them were small, one paragraph long, along the lines of "hey how are you I love you thanks" while in some, I included lovesick quotes from famous authors like William Shakespeare, Virginia Woolf, Jane Austen or Anaïs Nin. Tom was a fanatic of classical literature, it only made sense.

With a sigh, I got up and went to my room, getting started with my work only to end up spending all my time on social media until Tom called me over for dinner.

---

Tom POV:

"Ah, yes, this is the address," I said to myself, stopping outside a beautiful estate surrounded by pretty gardens. I parked the car and stepped out, heading to the door. As I was about to knock, I noticed that the door was locked. "Huh?" I whispered, maybe she wasn't home at the time? "Excuse me, sir? I saw your car parked outside…" I turned to see an old man blinking at me.

"Where's the woman who lives here?" I asked him. "Woman? This house has been empty for years, son, the last woman that lived here moved to the colonies 3 years ago." My eyes widened. So all this time, I was getting letters from… a ghost? Or was someone using a false address?

"Are you sure no one comes by, or anything?"

"Well, a fair young lady does stop by every week. Her name is Y/N Y/L/N, very polite and kind, she's like a daughter to me. She looks after the house; she's looking to move in, I guess but I'm not sure. Nice meeting you, young man! If you do want to meet up with the pseudo-owner, Y/N, she will stop by next Sunday at 11 am."

"Oh, I wouldn't need to do that," I muttered, bade him farewell and got back into the car. Well well well, things just got… interesting. I smiled widely as I drove back home. I had no idea Y/N felt the same way! All this time, the one-sided pining was actually mutual pining… it all ends today. Now that I knew she liked me back and my love wasn't in vain, there was nothing that could stop me from confessing.

Upon reaching home, I quietly opened the door only to see that Y/N was in the kitchen, singing a song unknown to me as she cooked. Like a thief, I tiptoed in and quietly closed the door behind me. I walked up to the kitchen, stopping when I heard the lyrics.

To speak or not to, where to begin

A great dilemma I'm finding myself in

For all I know you only see me as a friend

I try to tell myself, "Wake up, fool

This fairytale has got to end"

I leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen, finding it strange that she still hadn't taken notice of me. You only see me as a friend? Nonsense, I definitely liked her more than that. For some reason, the lyrics seemed familiar— Oh yes, the song Y/N apparently liked to sing all the time! What was the name, uh…

Never in my life have I been more sure

So come on up to me and close the door

Nobody's made me feel this way before

You're everything I wanted…

When she (amazingly) sang those lines, I decided to make my move. I walked forward and put my arms around her from behind, laughing when she screamed. "Tom! Oh my God, when did you come home?!" I spun her around, trapping her between the kitchen counter and myself. "A few minutes ago. You sing wonderfully, love," I smirked. She visibly gulped. "Uh, what are you—"

"Don't play dumb now. Aren't you the one who writes those letters? Don't lie to me." Her eyes went wide. "How did you find out? I'm sorry, I—" I cut off her trail of words by leaning down, capturing her lips with mine in a magical kiss. She, thankfully, didn't push away, instead wrapping her arms around me.

"I didn't think you'd like me back," she mumbled when we pulled away to breathe. "All that matters is that we're together now." She chuckled and snuggled into my arms. With a content sigh, I pulled her close, running my fingers through her hair as I held her close. "I love you," I said simply, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. "I love you too, think that's quite obvious."

We laughed. "How did you find out, though? What gave it away?" She got out of my arms and turned back to her cooking. I leaned against the counter next to her, crossing my arms. "I just visited the address on the letter. The door was locked, then I met an old man who said the person who lived there moved to the USA 3 years ago."

"My best friend, Y/F/N."

"He told me your name, saying how you went there every Sunday to look after the house. How come I didn't know?"

"Oh, Bertram. I always lied about going out on Sundays. I guess we sort of owe our relationship to Bert, don't we?"

I laughed and kissed her on the temple. "For sure, we do. What is that song you sing all the time, you were singing it just now?" She snorted and took out her phone, opening Spotify. She put on the song and turned to me, holding her hand out. "Balisong by Rivermaya. Care for a dance?"

"Don't mind if I do."

---

A/N: Oooh two fics in a row?? leave a like if you enjoyed lol thanks for reading!

#tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston x y/n #tom hiddleston x female reader #tom hiddleston characters #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #disney #marvel #avengers #fanfic #writing #writeblr #mcu

148 notes · View notes

queenofcats17 · 3 years

Text

The Ink Demonth 28

Today is Picture

---------------------------------------------------------------

She found it buried at the bottom of a box of her things from the studio.

She didn’t recognize what it was at first, more focused on sorting through what she now considered to be junk to pay attention to the content of the yellowed and faded photograph.

“The glass is cracked,” she murmured, taking the framed photo out of the box and examining it. “The frame’s chipped too. And covered in ink…” Her nose wrinkled as she noticed ink staining her hand when she pulled it away. “I’ll have to get a new one.”

She was about to set it aside. Until she caught sight of the burnished label that decorated the bottom of the frame.

“Joey Drew Studios May 1933”.

She let her gaze slip up to the actual content of the picture. All of the employees gathered together in front of the studio. It had been just after Susie had been hired. She could immediately pick out the voice actress, placed in the front row due to her petite stature. She smiled sweetly out at the camera, bright and bubbly. Beside her was Cordelia’s younger self, not too much taller than Susie. Her smile was much shyer than Susie’s and she looked as though she were trying to shrink into herself. Directly behind Cordelia was Sammy, who looked to be doing his very best not to scowl. He looked more than a bit uncomfortable and incredibly stern. She remembered Susie had teased Sammy about how stiff he’d looked, which he had taken with a certain amount of fond exasperation.

On the other side of Cordelia was Jack, smiling placidly out at the camera. Cordelia had never understood how he could be so calm no matter what the situation. They had all envied that ability of his. Behind him, next to Sammy, was Norman, who had a mischievous grin, as though he knew something the viewer didn’t. On the other side of Sammy was Wally, grinning wide. He looked slightly messy, as he always had. Grant was somewhere further along in the row. He didn’t look nearly as tired as he had in later years.

Tom, Allison, Lacie, and Bertram weren’t present, as they hadn’t been hired when the picture had been taken.

And there was Joey…Front and center as he always was. He had his hands on his hips, beaming out at the viewer with his million-dollar showman smile. Even seeing his face in a photograph made Cordelia’s skin crawl. She knew what was behind that smile.

Cordelia let her fingers ghost over the faces of her former friends, her heart beginning to ache at the sight of them. It had been so long she had almost forgotten what they looked like. Tears welled up in her eyes as she felt the sobs beginning to build. It had been so long…She’d forgotten how much she missed them. How much it had hurt to lose them one by one.

Just as she felt herself about to cry, she was interrupted by Roy.

“Dee?” He asked, sticking his head into the room. “You alright? You’ve been in here for a while.”

“I’m-I’m fine,” Cordelia replied, trying frantically to wipe away her tears.

Roy frowned, fully entering the room to kneel beside her.

“I’m fine,” Cordelia repeated.

“It’s okay if you’re not,” Roy said softly, his eyes flicking over to the photograph.

Cordelia paused, her lip quivering. Then the floodgates opened and she began to sob, the photograph dropping as she covered her face.

“It’s okay.” Roy drew her into a hug, patting her back and stroking her hair. “Just let it out.”

It had been a decade since Cordelia had left the studio. She had thought she would have gotten over the pain of losing her friends. And yet, the pain was still as fresh as it had been ten years ago.

“It’s alright,” Roy kept whispering to her.

It took longer than Cordelia would have liked for her to stop crying.

“Do you feel better?” Roy asked.

“No,” Cordelia mumbled into his shoulder.

Roy let out a weary laugh. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Would soup help?”

“…Yeah.”

“Well then.” Roy stood up, helping Cordelia to her feet in the process. “Let’s get you some soup.”

“…Thanks, Roy,” Cordelia said quietly as he helped her into the kitchen and sat her down at the table.

“You’re welcome,” Roy replied. He went to the pot of soup he had on the stove, dishing up a bowl for Cordelia and bringing it back to her. It was their mother’s recipe, which never failed to make them both feel safe and warm as it reminded them of their childhoods.

“It’s probably not as good as Mom’s,” Roy added when he set the bowl in front of her.

“That’s okay.” Cordelia managed a smile. “I know it’ll still be good.”

“I’m glad you have such faith in my cooking.” Roy smiled back. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Cordelia nodded, and Roy returned to the room where she’d been sorting the box from the studio. He picked up the photograph from where Cordelia had dropped it, examining it for a moment.

“Ruining things even from a photograph, huh, Drew?” He muttered before placing the photograph back in the box. Then he left. He had a sister to cheer up.

#bendy and the ink machine #fanfiction #the ink demonth #cordelia bell #roy bell

10 notes · View notes

brittie-frog · 3 years

Text

I watched the Prom yesterday, watched the musical today and are now reqatching to compare and here are my thoughts:

- Oh we love the heteronormativity of straights only and having to wear suits for guys and dresses for girls

- Off the get go I hate James Corden playing a stereotypical gay guy. You found two actually gay actors for Sheldon and Trent but not a third??

- I do appreciate the bi flag behind the Eleanor on the outside of the theater

- I will forever see Kevin as Bertram

- I love long running gags and the Julliard one is hilarious

- Angie be walking like Saru with the swaying hands behind her back

- I do miss the line about the electoral college and Barry being pained by "Trump"

- the changing off lyrics to be more PC is obvious now and do prefer the musical for being allowed to say more shit

- also appreaticate casting two pretty queer leads especially Ariana Debose cause I remember rewatching Hamilton just to keep an eye on her as the Bullet

- I do love Emma's obnoxious clothing in the movie with no one style choice and the rainbow bag strap

- why did they add in the extra scenes for the stars instead of, you know, the main teens of the story??

- I would hate to be Emma having to sit on the stage while my right to go to prom gets debated and my girlfriend sits in the front row, the child of the lead homophobe

- Also Indiana is a part of America and have to listen to their laws and values have they taken a history or geography class??

- it's a prom with two homosexuals out of how many going?? like imagine if my hs friendship group of 10 queers were at a school like this then I'd understand cause majority were homophobes in my town

- also it IS a student matter cause its their celebration so they choose whether they go to the 'gay' prom or not. Why do PTA's exist?? So glad we don't have them in England

- I do love the music and lyrics

- Tom Hawkins being too weak to stand up to singing Dee Dee

- I do hate them for cutting down the best/the most ridiculous (acceptance song) songs to add that entire plot line with Barry

- Dee Dee's wish is a fucking mood

- I dont like that in the movie Tom tells Dee Dee Emma got kicked out without her there and really without the need to cause no one mentioned her parents. It just seems weird he's telling someone else's story basically unprompted

- I dont mind that they shortened You Happened but its that they shortened the gays bit but kept the straights over the top prom-posals complete

- again with the added scenes but glad it resulted in seeing Emma in that hideous number

- why get that many limos is a waste of money just carpool with your friendship group

- doing the two proms is so fucked up and then at the conference saying its because she would have been in danger from homophobes as if she wasn't the one to set it all up I dont give a fuck I hate Mrs. Greene

- I miss the cat onsie but also the panic and wonder as a middle aged woman dances is an accurate wlw experience. Honestly if Nicole Kidman came to my house, ate ice cream with me and did Zazz in front of me I'd do whatever she asked

- Ahh the scenes! I can watch without knowing the backstory of Dee Dee's divorce and I can't sit through emotional scenes of Corden playing a gay cause (I know its acting and anyone can play anyone) but knowing that the real life fear and those thoughts of not being accepted arent reflected in the actor just feels really... wrong

- love they kept in the urinal cake research

- "your father might come back" is an insane amount of pressure took put on your 'impressionable' child like seriously it's a miracle Alyssa turned out the way she did

- I keep getting Kaylee and Shelby mixed up in my head cause I now see Shelby as blonde haired cause of the Wilds

- we do love Shelby for having that quick of a change of heart

- but that fact that me (who is joked to be the unemotional one, very rarely crying and never at the same scene twice) gets teary eyed every time I listen to Unruly Heart shows that representation matters

- Alyssa rewatching the video over and over again, missing her ex is a fucking mood

- "the world's changed, sure it's not great" is so accurate and I love it

- I do prefer the idea that Greene just storms in alone rather than with the entire PTA as if all the parents can just drop what their doing to go be homophobic

- they are obviously allowed to swear more in the musical so I miss all the random 'fucks' in the middle of sentences but mostly Emma's 'Holy Shit' when Alyssa tells her she loves her

- the "you're going to lose your daughter" from Barry when Greene went to argue no longer there because he's made up with his mum just kinda changes the scene and the emotions

- because of that change Alyssa's reaction is different with her just crying on Emma's shoulder but I would have preferred the "i think I just came out in front of my mom" no matter what to change the tone back to a comedy

- I love that its a bunch of queers including trios then the four straights at the back like no one else at the school had a change of heart

- I love the look Alyssa gives to Dee after seeing her mum like "do I have to??" Getting a look of support then saying okay and walking over

- the fact that everyone is stood in a circle around them like this is the event they came to see like 'will the homophobic mum be accepting or not??'

- but I do like that that plot line of is Alyssa accepted is resolved in the movie

Do I prefer the musical to the movie?? Most definitely. With all that said will I be rewatching the film?? Absolutely.

#the prom film #the prom #the prom review #the prom 2020

17 notes · View notes

nellygwyn · 5 years

Text

Despite not partaking herself, Jane was certainly very familiar with the consequences of heterosexual sex. Indeed, she knew more than many people realise about what was considered at the time to be 'deviant sex.' Because her novels are so polished, and (to some readers) prissy, and because the delicate nuances of class and manners are so central, they often exist in readers' imagination in a strait-laced Victorian setting. But in reality, Jane was a writer of the late Georgian period, a much bawdier age. Her early story 'Lady Susan' is about 'the most accomplished coquette in England.' When the Austens acted out Fielding's bawdy burlesque version of 'The Life and Death of Tom Thumb the Great', in Steventon barn, it is possible that a twelve year old Jane herself took the diminutive title role. The play may not be thought suitable for twelve year olds today, with lines such as: 'Oh, Huncamunca, Huncamunca, oh! Thy pouting breasts, like kettledrums of brass, beat everlasting loud alarms of joy! As bright as brass they are, and oh! As hard! Oh, Huncamunca, Huncamunca, oh!'

And even in her teens, Jane was quite willing to make jokes about sodomy. In her 'History of England,' she includes a pun about King James I's favourite, Robert Carr, being the king's pet, his 'Carr pet,' and praises the king for his 'keener penetration in discovering merit than many other people.' Then there's the famous joke Jane gives to Mary Crawford in 'Mansfield Park' about the dissolute household of her sailor uncle. 'Certainly, my home at my uncle's brought me acquainted with a circle of admirals,' Mary says, 'of Rears and Vices I saw enough. Now, do not be suspecting me of a pun.' Indeed, it's only Jane's reputation for primness that has left some readers incredulous that she could make such a rude joke. Rears and vices were, in fact, no joking matter for Jane's naval brother, Frank, who had had sailors on his ship lashed for the 'crime' of sodomy. '

Mansfield Park' also contains Jane's most striking incidence of phallic symbolism. Trapped by the park palings, Maria Bertram tries to climb over them under the supervision of Henry Crawford, the man with whom she will eventually elope. 'You will hurt yourself on those spikes!' calls out Fanny Price. And Maria does, in every sense.

~ Jane Austen at Home // Lucy Worsley

#so good #the phallic symbolism in mp is great #jane austen

201 notes · View notes

thealogie · 5 years

Text

thanks to the overwhelming silence and the fact that i can’t remember my old ao3 password and want to preserve my new ao3 for bookmarking rather than publishing anything I’m putting under the cut here some of the tentatively titled and probably-never-to-be-finished “Jeeves and the Unemployment Rate” which I wrote on the ios scrivener app a while ago (highly recommend if you want to write yourself fanfic on your commute and read it later) and then forgot.

It all started on a crisp sort of autumn morning when I returned to 3A Berkeley Mansions from a spot of lunch at my Aunt Dahlia’s with a bit of good news, a spring in my step, and sunshine on the old bean. It was the brightish sort of day, made all the brighter by the visit to a most Beloved Relation, who is the kind-hearted fly in the ointment of my theory that aunts are put on this earth for the sole purpose of crushing young nephews into submission, depression, and oppression under heels of steel. On this particular day, the old girl—in addition to being a generally good sort as usual— had also helped me solve a problem that had been vexing me for nearly a month.

I burst through the door with good cheer and a hankering for a whiskey fizz.

“Jeeves,” I bleeted. “Rally round.”

And rally around he did. Not that Jeeves does anything the seeing man would describe as “rallying.” But he floated gracefully out of the kitchen a moment before I called out for him, a whiskey fizz in hand.

“Ah, you are a marvel, as always, Jeeves. You’re sure you’re not a telepath? Positive of it, I mean? Very well, very well, I believe you,” I said, pouring the w. f. down the throat. “Right-o, now let us rally as men do. I bring splendid news from ol’ Dahlia.”

“Indeed, sir?”

“Dashed splendid, I mean. The sort to grip you somewhere in the middle and lift you just a footish above the troubles of life so that you glide above them in the air without once dipping your toes into their murky depths—the troubles, I mean. Of life, that is,” I explained.

“Indeed, sir?”

I narrowed my eyes a bit. There was something a bit soupy about his tone that told me he lacked the enthusiasm Betram Wilberforce was striving for in this situation. Like I said, rallying of any sort is out of the question when it comes to Jeeves, but a chap hopes that when he stirs up the pot with so much vim, he might be rewarded with a sincerely uttered “Very good, sir,” or, perhaps more ambitiously, “Most pleasing to hear it, sir. Perhaps you could recount the tale after I pour you another w. f.?”

I forged on bravely.

“Oh rather. I mean to say, you’re going to be biffed as well, old thing. Oh yes. The news touches you, is the thing. And I dare say it’s pleasant news of the sort that will have even demi-gods like yourself prancing about the place with a hop and a whistle.”

“Indeed, sir?”

Many times have I spoken to my man about his little habit of wielding “indeeds” against me in such sharpish tones.

“What do you...I mean. Yes, dashed ‘indeed,’ Jeeves,” I replied with some steel in my voice, “blasted, indeed! You know what, Jeeves, I’m surprised at you. You might show a bit more sympathy for the y.m. It’s not a happy household when a man comes through the door all hot and is immediately handed the ice.”

“Indeed, sir.”

“Jeeves!”

“My apologies, sir. I only meant to convey that it is just as you say. I should be glad to hear what Mrs. Travers relayed to you over luncheon.”

I crossed my arms and narrowed the Wooster baby blues even further until it was difficult to see a dashed thing.

“Alright Jeeves. Let’s have it.”

“Sir?”

“Out with it.”

“Sir?”

“Sir! I mean...to chopped liver with ‘sir,’ Jeeves. Something is rotten in the chez of Wooster. I see the displeased glint in your eyes. I should like to hear what’s hardened your heart against the young master’s general joie at the current state of vivre.”

“Well, sir. Is the pleasant information you wish to convey in any way related to the retirement Mrs. Travers’s head butler and her selection of a replacement?”

“By Jove,” I cried. “You do know all, what?! Jeeves, I know you don’t like this theory of mine, but it’s time we started to take the telepathy thingamummy seriously. Is it your deductive reasoning again? I mean, it’s too uncanny. Give me your Holmesian monologue on how you came to this one.”

“No deductions on this occasion, sir. Although I do not wish to jeopardize a friend, I must admit Seppings himself paid me a visit not an hour ago and divulged the news,” Jeeves said.

“Jeeves! Don’t tell me Seppings let the proverbial cat out of the proverbial bag?!”

“I’m afraid so, sir.”

“Oh rotten luck that!” I sighed, a bit put out that Seppings—the very retiring butler who had minutes ago been the source of my great gratitude—had ruined my surprise.

“As you say, sir.”

“And I suppose you know the person she intends to name as his replacement is, in fact, you?”

“I do, sir,” he said coldly.

“Er,” I replied.

“Will that be all, sir?”

“I can see you’re not too pleased with the young master, Jeeves, but I only thought—dash it, I mean, I thought it would please you. The superior title, an entire staff at your command, a house with guests of the more refined sort.”

Jeeves was unmoved by this. I forged on, feeling a bit like that Napoleon chappie must have felt trying to make good speed when it got nippy in Russia.

“Oh, think, you’d never cook again Jeeves! Every menu will be orchestrated by you and prepared by Anatole. Oh, and you don’t need to valet at all, Aunt Dahlia says. I mean, Uncle Tom would be glad to have you valet for him if you don’t trust anyone else with his clothes but they have a large-ish staff. If you’d like, you’d just be doing books and ordering people about all day and generally mastering the household.”

I had wilted a bit at his initial cold reception but I was at full speed again with my ramble, imagining Jeeves sitting behind his own desk, so many people for him to guide and mold.

“It is an incredibly generous offer, sir,” Jeeves said. “Will that be all?”

I wilted again.

“It’s only an offer, Jeeves. You can toss it out to the cold night air if it displeases you. I mean to say, what?! No one is making you take it—not that there are good odds against any mortal setting about making you do anything you don’t want to do and coming out on top,” I tried to mollify him.

“Very kind, sir,” Jeeves said stiffly. “Will that be all?”

I saw that Jeeves was not in a good way. And suddenly my own disappointment was the furthest thing from my mind. I softened immediately.

“Old thing, I wish you would tell me what’s bothering you,” I said ever so gently, or so I hoped.

“While it is commendable, Mr. Wooster, that you would secure another position for me rather than dismissing me, I am sorry to learn I have overstayed my welcome,” he explained, looking above the Wooster onion and straight at the wall opposite.

I scratched the Wooster temple, feeling flummoxed and flat out on my rear.

“Jeeves, old fruit, I’m feeling a bit flummoxed and flat out,” I confessed, leaving off the bit about my rear to preserve some dignity.

“Mr. Seppings came to congratulate me on the happy news, which he thought I was already privy to. After seeing that the news surprised and confused me, he confessed that he inadvertently overheard pieces of your discussions with Mrs. Travers,” Jeeves explained.

Oh. Oh, dear. That’s something to get hot under the collar about. If Seppings had indeed heard my conversation with Dahlia...

“Oh bugger all,” I groaned.

“He had not meant to eavesdrop, sir, but came to understand that you were asking Mrs. Travers’ advice on how to end my employment while avoiding the unpleasantness that generally accompanies an outright dismissal. If I may say, sir, the elected course is prudent. The offer of employment from Mrs. Travers at increased salary and title would have spared embarrassment on all sides,” Jeeves said. Except it wasn’t Jeeves at all, dash it. He had the faraway look of an automaton who has no thoughts at all, nevertheless the dozen or so ripe ones that seem always to be floating around in Jeeves’s head. “Sir, will that be all?”

Oh, dash it. Let me stop there for a mo’.

At this point, you must be feeling as betrayed as Jeeves. “Wooster, you useless goose!” you’re undoubtedly crying. “You’ve somehow managed to ensnare a divine nymph to crease your trousers and mix your cocktails? You have in your household a first-rate mind who should be writing treatises on literature and holding saloons in Paris, yet you dare to hand him the mitten? Refund me the price of the rag I’ve purchased or prepare to duel.”

I beg you gentle reader, give this Wooster a chance to redeem himself. An oaf I am, but an oaf pure of heart. My sin, you see, is not being up to this literary wheeze, not caprice.

In the normal course of events, you know, stories begin when matters are about to get wheeling on, then they trot on until everybody’s generally got their ankles up in the air and such, and then they end when everything’s been tidied up and all persons’ ankles are firmly back on the ground. You’re familiar with said basic structure, no doubt? Well, I’m no good at it. This Wooster frequently starts his wheezes when things have already gone ankles up. Jeeves tells me the more scholarly writer sorts try to hide this flaw by pretending to do this same thing deliberately and calling it “starting in medias res.”

Allow me to fill you in on three basic facts that might persuade you to regard Bertram Wilberforce as the well-intentioned buffoon he is rather than the malicious villain he is painted out to be in the above passage:

A. I’m in love with Jeeves. I mean properly daffy him and all that. I mean to say, I hear music when he walks into the room. When he leaves, clouds of doom descend upon me. His every touch however brief and accidental is etched indelibly in my memory. It’s properly scorching stuff, you see. But he hasn’t a clue.

B. I can’t tell a fellow I’m daffy for him so long as I’m his employer. I mean, he takes his wages fishing me out of the soup, drying me off, and setting me on my way again. I mean, you don’t need me to spell out the how and why. It’s simply not preux at all.

C. Premise A and premise B, when combined, put me in quite a bind. I shared said bind with an old chum of mine just a few weeks prior to the cheery-cum-calamitous afternoon I’ve recounted to you above.

“So, you’d like to get a leg over Jeeves, eh?” Ginger said crassly after I’d unburdened my very soul to him.

I’ve known Ginger for ages. I mean, I used to know Ginger rather biblically. Now we’re just chums. And unlike some chaps who used to know each other, we’re rather un-jealous and supportive chums. Though, Ginger’s support was a bit more vulgar than a laddie hopes for when said laddie is in the throws of a love that is all divinity and light.

“Ginger! You crude fishmonger,” I cried, scandalized. “This is serious, for once. What am I to do? Am I to take this to my grave? Saddens a chap to think of going on like this forever.”

“Want to roger him good, eh ol’ boy?” Ginger continued, without hearing me at all.

“No, Ginger. It’s not like that. I mean it is. But it’s more. I also want us to sit by the fire, reading poetry. I want to make him smile every day I am alive. I want his hands enveloped in mine,” I declared. “Were I a glove, and all that!”

“I think the Romeo chappie wanted to be a glove to touch that bird’s cheek, Bertie.”

“Well, Jeeves is too sensible to sit around resting his cheek in his hands when he’s wearing work gloves. But I mean it! I would shape shift into one of his imminently reasonable and dull gloves if I could, so I could be wrapped all around his elegant hands,” I sighed dreamily, giving Madeleine Bassett a run for her money.

“Looks like he’s got you wrapped around his fingers, all right,” Ginger laughed, clapping me on the back in a chummy sort of fashion.

“Oh but Ginger, don’t tease. Not today. If you had the smartest and handsomest man in England residing in your home, you too would find him a worthy general and think twice before acting without orders,” I sighed, chin in hand.

“Please Bertie,” Ginger said, rolling his eyes. “I hope you aren’t about to start again with your campaign to make Jeeves Prime Minister, Bertie.”

At this comment, the Wooster corpus, previously slumped over the table, sat at attention with a bolt of inspiration. “Euree—something. Jeeves would know. Something a Greek chappie once said when his grey matter finally got going. I mean to say, that’s it, Ginger! Oh, you’ve got it.”

Ginger blinked at me in confusion. “You’re going to make Jeeves the Prime Minister? I suppose, that would do the country a bit of good. And, you have a point. If you tell the Prime Minister you want to bugger him, there’s no danger of him going along with it because he feels obliged.”

“Not quite, laddie. If Jeeves had another job, a better job, then I would be just another man, not his employer,” I said.

“With you so far,” he said, wrinkling his nose.

“Well, young masters who wish to stay a step above the devil don’t go foisting declarations on unsuspecting valets and then expect them to go on dressing and feeding and living with said y.m. as though nothing is amiss,” I explained patiently. “But if he doesn’t work for me, I could tell him I love him. We’d just be two men, standing before each other. And if he doesn’t feel the same, he’d just biff off to his new household, that’s that.”

“I get all that. Bertie, you really are a Christmas pudding of a man,” Ginger said. “What I’m saying is...Well, that’s no solution at all. I mean. Right now, at least you get to be close to him day in and out, don’t you? If you send him away…you do realize he’ll be, in fact, away, don’t you?” he said sagely, buttering a scone with a great air dignity. “Or maybe you don’t. There’s no end to things you don’t realize, darling.”

I puffed up the chest. My love had made me feel a touch noble, like those self-sacrificing beazels in the old Greek plays. “I’d rather watch him walk out the door after I’ve said my piece than have him say ‘Very good, sir’ and shimmer into the kitchen to put dinner together because it’s what’s expected of him,” I said with a touch haught. “Now Ginger, if you’re a friend, you’ll help me draw up a list of suitable households where Jeeves will be happy and well-paid. You know he’s not exactly the ‘happy to put down anchor anywhere’ sort of fellow.’”

“That’s mild, Bertie. The man’s as particular as all hell,” Ginger exclaimed.

I sighed dreamily, planting the Wooster chin atop the Wooster palm. “Isn’t he just? It’s an infuriating quality of his.

“Oh dear lord, you’re done for.”

31 notes · View notes

soloplaying · 4 years

Text

BatIM Babble: Glitches/Issues

Just climbing a tower of chairs in a stairwell looking for cans of Bacon soup, with a Tommy Gun. As you do.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the game a lot, but I did have some persistent issues when trying to play it. And nearly having a heart attack when the Projectionist glitched up onto the platform on Level 14 barely counts.

My Thoughts:

1. Mouse and Resolution

From the first frame of the game, I had problems with my mouse. I thought it was either my computer or my mouse’s sensitivity so I messed around with every setting I could find (in-game and out) trying to fix it. Nothing worked. I was disappointed but decided I could still appreciate the story, even with the cross hair moving several seconds behind my mouse. It made me dizzy, I died a lot, and it took a while but I managed. It wasn’t like any of the game elements depended on speed or accuracy or anything.

...I’m sure you can see where this is going.

The target-shooting minigame in Chapter 4 was impossible. Literally, physically impossible. By the time my crosshair reached where my mouse was pointing, the target had gone down. I had to look through discussions on Steam to find out that (a) I wasn’t the only one with the problem, (b) the problem wasn’t with my equipment, and (c) the only way to fix it was to turn the game’s resolution nearly all the way down. Not all the way down, not turn the quality down, not change anything about the mouse...No, the answer was to turn the resolution down to a specific value.

I mean, I’m glad the fix was so easy. I was able to continue the game after that and the crosshair behaved itself, even if the quality was a little lower than desired. But I’m still confused as to why it happened in the first place.

2. The Save Mechanic

Unlike the mouse issue, this didn’t become a problem until I tried to replay the game. But once I started my achievement run, it became a major thorn in my side. I’ve had the problem most often with replaying chapters in old save slots, but I’ve had it with some new games as well.

Why does the game only reliably save at the beginning of each chapter? There are save points throughout the first four chapters but they don’t always work and if you’re in the middle of the Twisted Angel’s tasks or halfway through the Bendy Hell challenges then being set back can be pretty disheartening. And in the fifth chapter, the game has no save point until you reach the admin maze. Autosaves can occur at the Lost Harbor dock and the boat launch platform but they default to the beginning of the chapter almost every time that you have to quit and restart the game. And as much as I like Allison and Tom, I really don’t need to see their very long introductory scenes that many times.

Last time I played, it actually set me back an entire chapter and a half. I went from saved at the dock right before the fight with Sammy to the beginning of Chapter 4.

3. Miscellaneous

These aren’t really persistent problems so much as random freak things I banged into, like the aforementioned tower of climbable chairs and the Projectionist gaining the ability to run up to the lift after Henry. I’ve run into Searchers you can’t kill with an axe, immortal boards that levitate after you hit them with an axe, cans of bacon soup that respawn when you run past them more than once, objectives that don’t spawn in Chapter 3, objectives that don’t re-spawn when you restart a task in Chapter 3, the lift refusing to leave Alice Angel’s floor after finishing all of her challenges, the whole ‘locking targets after the bell dings’ in Chapter 4′s Bullshot minigame (which thankfully doesn’t affect the game’s plot), and the boat in Chapter 5 just stopping without anything stuck in the paddle wheel.

4. Does it matter?

Nope! I still love the game, even with its problems. But it makes me feel better to complain about them here!

Have a random picture of Bertram:

#Bendy and the Ink Machine #BatIM

2 notes · View notes

bethanydelleman · 8 months

Text

Northanger Abbey Readthrough, Ch 8

Some hints that Isabella's affection for Catherine may not be all that it seems, starting with this, "Isabella having gone through the usual ceremonial of meeting her friend with the most smiling and affectionate haste" and then Isabella taking an entire three minutes to abandon her friend to dance.

I love this part:

She could not help being vexed at the non-appearance of Mr. Thorpe, for she not only longed to be dancing, but was likewise aware that, as the real dignity of her situation could not be known, she was sharing with the scores of other young ladies still sitting down all the discredit of wanting a partner. To be disgraced in the eye of the world, to wear the appearance of infamy while her heart is all purity, her actions all innocence, and the misconduct of another the true source of her debasement, is one of those circumstances which peculiarly belong to the heroine’s life, and her fortitude under it what particularly dignifies her character. Catherine had fortitude too; she suffered, but no murmur passed her lips.

This sentiment is so real, it's like assuring the waitress that you aren't at the café alone and your boyfriend is coming. Catherine wants people to know that she has a partner! She's not unselected and unknown. It doesn't matter that she may never see these people again, the disgrace is real.

Then worse (!) she finally sees Mr. Tilney again but she can't dance with him! The horrors! I love how Catherine doesn't fall for the "mistakes sibling for spouse" trope, which continues to happen in fiction to this day, but instantly realizes that Henry is with his sister.

Thorpe finally appears (ug) and he doesn't have any good excuse for keeping Catherine waiting. However, this reminds me of three other men:

of the horses and dogs of the friend whom he had just left, and of a proposed exchange of terriers between them

We know that Mr. Rushworth of Mansfield Park also annoyed a woman by talking too much of horses (his "sport" would include this) and dogs:

Maria, with only Mr. Rushworth to attend to her, and doomed to the repeated details of his day’s sport, good or bad, his boast of his dogs, his jealousy of his neighbours, his doubts of their qualifications, and his zeal after poachers, subjects which will not find their way to female feelings without some talent on one side or some attachment on the other Mansfield Park, Ch 12

Also, Sir John and Willoughby are arranging the exchange of some terriers:

Such a scoundrel of a fellow! such a deceitful dog! It was only the last time they met that he had offered him one of Folly’s puppies! and this was the end of it! Sense & Sensibility, Ch 32

Now I'm sure a big part of these quote aligning is just the era and being gentry, them with their fancy horses and fancy dogs, but both Rushworth and Sir John notably can't really talk to women, I think we can easily argue that Thorpe is in the same camp. And inconsiderate Tom Bertram delayed another woman from dancing with concern about horses:

He came towards their little circle; but instead of asking her to dance, drew a chair near her, and gave her an account of the present state of a sick horse, and the opinion of the groom Mansfield Park, Ch 12

The real problem here is that men are putting their concerns above doing a duty or a kindness to a woman. Sir John gets away with his devotion to hunting because he is very kind and accommodating otherwise, but John Thorpe, Mr. Rushworth, and Tom Bertram especially really show their selfishness and self-absorption in these scenes.

ANYWAY, joy of joys, Catherine is introduced to Eleanor Tilney, who seems like 10,000,000% more rational and genuine than Miss Thorpe:

Her manners showed good sense and good breeding; they were neither shy nor affectedly open; and she seemed capable of being young, attractive, and at a ball without wanting to fix the attention of every man near her, and without exaggerated feelings of ecstatic delight or inconceivable vexation on every little trifling occurrence.

Catherine does not immediately become friends with Eleanor, but engages in the very small talk that Henry spoofed back in Ch 3.

The faithless "faithful Isabella" reappears, but she's far too absorbed with James to really focus on Catherine, no matter what she claims. Both Catherine and Isabella refuse to dance with their partners more than once, though like Willoughby and Marianne, Isabella and James don't find new partners but instead talk with each other. Poor Catherine barely spends any time with Mr. Tilney as he got bored and danced with someone else.

Now, we know Catherine is already half in love with Henry at this point, but what is he thinking about her? He does seem to have sought her out and he asks her to dance again. This may just be polite, and he certainly feels that nothing is keeping him from finding another partner. I would say he probably enjoyed the first dance and is happy to see her again, but I doubt he's been dreaming of her...

#northanger abbey readthrough #ch 8 #northanger abbey #henry tilney #eleanor tilney #john thorpe #james morland #isabella “faithful” thorpe

26 notes · View notes

peonymoss · 6 years

Text

Mansfield Park: Volume II Chapters 1-5

(or chapters 19-23, or, The Party’s Over)

II-1

Further proof that this play was a bad idea: when the news comes that Sir Thomas is in the house, the first reaction of his children — all of them — is not “Hurrah! Father’s home at last!” but “Oh ——— .” Dryly amusing to see Tom and Edmund finally united — a look and a few words is all it takes — and poor Rushworth left behind, glad that Sir Thomas is back, but not quite part of the family yet. And Maria walking off without even answering his question — unnecessarily rude.

Yates thinking that the rehearsal will pick up again after tea — even “having never been with those who thought much of parental claims, or family confidence” — does he not understand that Sir Thomas has been away for almost two years,and that welcoming him back is going to take precedence over a rehearsal? Dude. Seriously.

Fanny seeing a new side of Sir Thomas — and seeing that she really does matter to him: “my little Fanny.” We never hear anything about the Bertram side of the family. Is he an only child?

This whole scene in the drawing room is hilarious. Mrs. Norris INTERRUPTING Sir Thomas, in the middle of his telling them about his journey, to tell him he wants some soup; Sir Thomas discovering the theater — and his room (his full-sized version of Fanny’s East room) — and stepping out on the stage opposite Yates. Rushworth bursting out about Henry Crawford’s height (poor fellow, he knows something’s wrong but he doesn’t have the intellect to understand his unease or put it into words). Yates utterly failing to catch the hint from anywhere and yammering on about the play. And poor Rushworth — holding on to Sir Thomas’s good opinion by saying scarcely anything, but only “a little longer.”

Behind the cut for length:

II-2

At least Edmund 1. comes to his father to 2. fess up 3. first thing in the morning 4. without trying to minimize his own lapses in judgment or 5. completely pin the blame on everything else while 6. making clear that Fanny was consistent.

Poor Sir Thomas, trying to “forget how much he had been forgotten himself.” (He has something in common with Fanny; she knows what it’s like to feel forgotten.) He’s “more willing to believe they felt their error than to run the risk of investigation”. Hmmmm. He’s an active, diligent man, but in this area of life he’s willing to let himself avoid seeking out the truth. And though he tries very hard to keep her to the point, Mrs. Norris manages to evade him in the end.

II-3

Interesting conversation between Edmund and Fanny. Edmund mentions how very quiet the evenings are now; Fanny says she’s not bored, she likes listening to Sir Thomas talking about the West Indies, “but then I am unlike other people I dare say.” Edmund offers her a compliment in a teasing way and then tells her how much Sir Thomas is pleased with her. But those compliments about Fanny’s countenance and complexion and figure — how much of those are from Sir Thomas, and how many are from Edmund?

...And then he starts talking about Mary’s opinion of Fanny, and how observant Mary is (though he’s not wrong). Fanny changes the subject, and we get some funny stuff from Edmund about Rushworth:

“[Sir Thomas] must like [Rushworth] less after to-morrow's visit, for we shall be five hours in his company. I should dread the stupidity of the day, if there were not a much greater evil to follow--the impression it must leave on Sir Thomas. He cannot much longer deceive himself. I am sorry for them all, and would give something that Rushworth and Maria had never met.”

(And this is the match Mrs. Norris takes such pride in!)

“Sir Thomas was satisfied; too glad to be satisfied, perhaps, to urge the matter quite so far as his judgment might have dictated to others.” Once again, in this area of his life he’s all too willing to take the easy way, to let himself believe everything’s all right when it isn’t.

Interesting that Maria has “pledged herself anew to Sotherton”: to the property, not to Rushworth himself. “In all the important preparations of the mind she was complete: being prepared for matrimony by an hatred of home, restraint, and tranquillity; by the misery of disappointed affection, and contempt of the man she was to marry.” Oooof.

“Two bridesmaids”: was Fanny one of them? Aunt Norris “tries to cry”: nobody’s overcome with joy at this wedding.

II.4

So Fanny’s growing up into a pretty young woman, and now she’s the only young woman at Mansfield. (And Mrs. Norris is still sending her, instead of a servant, on errands.)

"by the easiest self-deceit”: Mrs. Grant, too.

What an interesting sort-of friendship springs up between Mary and Fanny. Why does Fanny keep going? It’s not just the demands of Good Manners; where does her “fascination” come from? Is it just being around someone with whom she has something in common, but who’s so different from anyone else she’s known?

It’s unfortunate that when Fanny goes off on her more poetic, thoughtful flights, Mary doesn’t even attempt to follow along or even pay attention.

Mary, meanwhile, has been spoiled for the idea of marrying solely for money: “... nothing worse than a tete-a-tete with the person one feels most agreeable in the world.” She still wants money and influence, though, so she wants even more than she did before.

“... to the credit of the lover's understanding, be it stated, that [Edmund] did not by any means consider Fanny as the only, or even as the greater gainer by such a friendship.” Edmund thinks of himself as Mary’s lover at this point <SPOILER> but it’s a nice touch that the text itself doesn’t specify that.</SPOILER>

“A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. It certainly may secure all the myrtle and turkey part of it.” The “myrtle and turkey” part doesn’t get quoted as often, but I think it makes the first sentence even funnier.

Edmund, Mary’s not kidding about the money and the distinction. How many times does she have to say it? Self-deceit indeed.

II.5

Lady Bertram is so benignly self-absorbed. “Why should Mrs.Grant ask Fanny?” Edmund knows how to manage her, though.

Poor Fanny. This should be such a happy occasion for her — she’s growing up, she’s being invited to dine out — and there’s no mother or sister to be glad for her and enjoy the preparations with her, no cousins to do it in their place, and no aunts who will do it in their place. But there is an aunt who’s downright angry that Fanny should have a happy occasion coming up.

Sir Thomas puts Mrs. Norris in her place! Take that!

Edmund starts off praising Fanny and noticing her dress “I like those glossy spots” but alas for Fanny’s feelings - “Has not Miss Crawford a gown something the same?”

Oh, wait — Henry shows up? Great. Stupid troublemaker.

So much for “being the lowest and last” — Fanny’s the female guest of honor.

(And even though Edmund’s being friendly with Henry, Fanny’s not even thinking about Edmund’s judgment. She’s confident in her dislike and distrust of Henry. She’s seen what she’s seen, and she knows that Edmund is fallible.)

Edmund’s matter of business with Dr. Grant — ordination, perhaps?

Henry’s “...significant smile, which made Fanny quite hate him...”

<SPOILER> “I think my friend Julia knows better than to entertain her father with Mr. Yates.” OH yes.</SPOILER>

“In my opinion....” Bravo, Fanny!

“Dr. Grant is giving Bertram instructions about the living he is to step into so soon.” Henry assumes that they are talking about money, not the spiritual work of pastoring the flock, and regrettably he’s probably correct. He also is assuming that Edmund will hire a vicar and live at Mansfield. Like Mary, he assumes that the life of a clergyman is a life of ease.

Mary’s anger at Edmund and at herself, and her resolution to no longer let him influence her feelings, reminds me of Mary’s anger at Henry. At least Mary’s not dragging someone else into her anger by marrying someone she doesn’t love just out of spite.

So some themes: Fanny’s coming into her own. And Sir Thomas... well, this is twice now that we see him accept easy answers to questions instead of searching after painful, difficult, but truthful answers.

Edmund goes 5 chapters without seriously letting anyone down. And he may be constantly comparing her to Mary, but he’s noticing Fanny too.

And so are the Crawfords. Both of them.

#east room mansfield park #east room mansfield park: vol. 2 chapters 19-23

6 notes · View notes

thinkveganworld · 6 years

Text

This is an article I wrote a while back, “Brave New McWorld.” It ran widely in various Internet publications.

BRAVE NEW MCWORLD By Carla Binion Rutgers political science professor Benjamin Barber says in "Jihad vs. McWorld" that today's corporate culture spins a shimmering scenario of "corporate forces that demand integration and uniformity and that mesmerize people everywhere with fast music, fast computers, and fast food -- with MTV, Macintosh, and McDonald's, pressing nations into one commercially homogenous theme park: a veritable McWorld tied together by communications, information, entertainment and commerce." In this fast-paced, mesmerized McWorld the public attention flits rapidly from one important news story to the next. Now we see Impeachment; now we don't! Now we see Seattle; now we're off to something else! The public has no time to digest and assimilate news events and their lessons. The corporate spin on globalization is eerily cheerful, despite the fact that the gap between rich and poor is widening. Barber says government leaders are intimidated by today's market ideology. No one dares question the conventional wisdom about free trade. The conventional wisdom says that globalization is inevitable, and that our democratic traditions are obsolete. Barber quotes Felix Rohatyn: "There is a brutal Darwinian logic to these markets. They are nervous and greedy. They look for stability...but what they reward is not always our preferred form of democracy." Capitalism wants to tame democracy, says Barber, and capitalism does not mind tyranny as long as it secures "stability." In the same interview where George W. Bush failed to name the leaders of four different countries, Bush also said he thought the coup in Pakistan was a good thing because it would help bring "stability" to the region. If Bush recommends tyrant's coups to "bring stability" to other nations, would he also favour tyrannical oppression for "stability's" sake in this country? The message of globalization is that democracies are old-fashioned and that "tyranny to secure stability" is bright and shiny new. No matter how much confectioner's sugar the globalization flacks sprinkle on the message, this is not good news for the ever-shrinking American middle-class. It is especially bad news considering the very rich have used violence and deception to control and divide the working class throughout this nation's history. In McWorld, can we still learn from history? Important lessons from history as recent as the Seattle demonstrations have been obliterated by the McNews networks. Network news did not cover the fact that a Seattle physician reported that the rubber bullets police used on peaceful demonstrators tore off part of a person's jaw and smashed the teeth of many nonviolent protesters. Peaceful demonstrators had tear gas injuries, including damage to eyes and skin. One Seattle reporter was thrown to the pavement, handcuffed, and thrown into a van, even though the correspondent showed credentials. Corporate owned news networks did not interview the nonviolent protesters who were injured by "stability" enforcing police. Like terrorist death squads in third world countries, U. S. vigilante police sometimes ignore legal formalities and practice unlawful torture on nonviolent strikers or peaceful protesters. Folksinger Woodie Guthrie once sang, "Well, what is a vigilante man? Tell me, what is a vigilante man?....Would he shoot his brother and sister down?"(1) Apparently for Seattle police, the answer was yes. In McWorld, not only is democracy out of date, but labour concerns are also antiquated. However, for those of us not living entirely in a McWorld-induced trance, it is useful to reflect on the way U. S. corporations and certain government agencies have tried to divide and oppress the working class at previous moments in history. A close look at corporations' long-term oppression of the middle class indicates where unbridled capitalism will take McWorld's cheerful tyrants in the future. Corporate and government leaders have long used police and National Guardsmen and even federal troops to break strikes and crush progressive movements. The copper miners' strike of 1892 in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho was broken when the governor brought in the National Guard, reinforced by federal troops. Union leaders were fired, scabs were reinstated and six hundred miners were imprisoned. (That is about the same number of people arrested in Seattle. Senator-activist Tom Hayden said that of the 587 arrested in Seattle, virtually all were nonviolent.) For a Carnegie Steel workers' strike in 1892, the governor of Pennsylvania brought in state troops to protect strikebreakers and crush strike leaders, arresting the entire Strike Committee.(2) If anyone doubts corporate/government leaders would use such force to bring "stability" today, we only have to once again remember Seattle -- if McWorld will stop spinning long enough to allow the memory to resurface intact, that is. In 1885, a labour meeting was held in Chicago's Haymarket Square. A bomb exploded, wounding sixty-six policemen and killing seven. Historian Howard Zinn writes, "Some evidence came out that a man named Rudolph Schnaubelt, supposedly an anarchist, was actually an agent of the police, an agent provocateur, hired to throw the bomb and thus enable the arrest of hundreds, causing the destruction of the revolutionary leadership in Chicago. But to this day it has not been discovered who threw the bomb."(3) Seattle's violent disruptions might also have been instigated by provocateurs, but even contemplating such a question is taboo in today's McCulture. Lack of evidence in the Haymarket incident did not matter. Police arrested eight "anarchist" leaders. A jury sentenced them all to death. George Bernard Shaw and other prominent Americans were outraged because they considered the trials a railroading. There was a march of 25,000 in Chicago, and 60,000 people signed petitions to Illinois Governor Altgeld, who later pardoned the three prisoners who had not already died. Will future McWorld leaders even allow a George Bernard Shaw to speak or 25,000 to march without shattering their jaws with rubber bullets? In more recent history, during the 1960s, the FBI used surveillance and agents provocateurs to foster division within protest organizations.(4) Senate hearings in the 1970s (the Church committee hearings) showed that the FBI worked to discredit and destroy certain civil rights and women's liberation groups. The Senate report showed that FBI informants infiltrated leftwing groups, disrupted their plans, and even encouraged members to kill one another or tried to destroy their personal lives.(5) The Church committee report states that the FBI wiretapped Martin Luther King, Jr., and made a systematic effort to knock him "off his pedestal and to reduce him completely in influence."(6) The FBI smeared King, lying about him to congressmen and university officials. Thirty-four days before King was to receive the Nobel Peace Prize, he received an anonymous tape in the mail -- a tape that recorded King's extramarital affairs. The Senate report showed that Assistant FBI director William Sullivan wrote King a letter saying: "King, there is only one thing left for you to do. You know what it is. You have just 34 days in which to do it."(7) King understood this to mean Sullivan was urging him to commit suicide. This is what tyrants do in order to "stabilize" the disenfranchised. Corporate/governmental brutality toward nonviolent protesters is nothing new in this country's history. The mainstream media's neglect is not unusual either. Journalist Michael Parenti reveals how the mainstream press often shows an anti-labour, anti-protester bias. For example, major newspapers have no "labour" section to go along with their business section. Strikes and protests are usually covered from the management or corporate viewpoint. One study of ABCs "Nightline" found that over a forty-month period covering 865 programs, guests were overwhelmingly conservative, white, male, government officials, or corporate executives. "Only 5 percent represented public interest groups. Less than 2 percent were labour leaders or representatives of ethnic minorities."(8) The news blackout on Seattle was just more of the same from corporate McNews media. Benjamin Barber says that the old masters were visible tyrants. Today's masters are invisible and "sing a siren song of markets in which the name of liberty is invoked in every chorus." The new masters tell us that oppression is liberty, and war is peace, and tyranny is stability. The "liberty" of McWorld may be good for consumption, says Barber, but it may not be of much use to civic liberty. Robber baron Jay Gould once said in reference to a Knights of Labour Strike, "I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half." Gould meant that he was willing to stir up conflict among workers and encourage violence in order to oppress average Americans who dared to stand up for their rights.(9) Gould's mentality might seem outdated, but the *fruits* of his thinking are not substantially different from what occurred in Seattle. Day after day we see cheery, breezy fluff on the McNews channels. We are fed shimmering portraits of smiling corporate leaders who assure us globalization is good for the country. Just beneath the glowing skin, gleaming teeth and glib snake oil spin of your friendly McWorld salesman lurks the soul of Jay Gould. Let us watch and see where trading tyranny for "stability" will take us over the next few years. Let us not be McMesmerized into forgetfulness. (1) Bertram Gross, FRIENDLY FASCISM, 1980. (2) Howard Zinn, A PEOPLE'S HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES, 1980. (3) Zinn, A PEOPLE'S HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES, 1980 (4) Cathy Perkus, ed., COINTELPRO, The FBI's Secret War on Political Freedom, 1975. (5) Kathryn S. Olmstead, CHALLENGING THE SECRET GOVERNMENT, 1996.; (Olmstead's source is: U. S. Senate Select Committee, Intelligence Activities, vol. 6, Federal Bureau of Investigation, 18 November 1975, 26.) (6) U. S. Senate Select Committee Report., vol. 6, 31. (7) U. S. Senate Select Committee Report, vol 6, 33 (8) Study by William Hoynes and David Croteau, prepared for Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting (FAIR), February 1989. (9) Gross, FRIENDLY FASCISM, 1980.

20 notes · View notes

thatscarletflycatcher · 4 years

Text

After months of having watched Little Women 2019 for the first time, I think I have finally put into words the core of why I dislike this movie so much. This isn’t going to be pretty, so you have been warned about the tone of what follows.

What bothers me is the intellectual dishonesty.

Hear me out: Greta Gerwig took pains on making it clear that she was trying pay homage to Louisa May Alcott’s authorial intent, as if finally liberating her from the patriarchal oppression of editors perpetuated by readers and media for 150 years; the movie was also promoted not only as the ultimate take on the novel (based on the previous claim) but sneakily tried to be “about women, -finally- made by women”, which went even as far as Merryl Streep saying that it was the first time it was directed by a woman (when, if fact, Gerwig is at least the THIRD woman adapting Little Women for the screen - the 1994 movie was written and directed by women, and so was the 2017 miniseries and the 2018 movie).

How does Greta get around to pay her homage? Let me take a small detour.

When I first watched the movie, in my review, I compared it to two previous adaptations of Jane Austen’s work: Joe Wright’s Pride & Prejudice and Patricia Rozema’s Mansfield Park. Though both wildly different in public reception, they both represent ways of taking the source material and reinventing it.

Pride & Prejudice decides to tell the story not in the light comedy of manners tone of Austen herself, but in such a way as to saturate the story with emotion, and making the characters have their emotions lead them. Lizzy’s interior amusement becomes giggling; she’s a romantic heroine now, so her love of the outdoors becomes a love for books and the dramatic (the book lover of the novel is Mary). Mr. Bennet can no longer hide from his emotions beyond his humor, he needs to feel the weight of the bad choices he made in marrying Mrs. Bennet and hoping for a son, and so he’s depressed. Mrs. Bennet is no longer a silly woman; she’s just desperate and uneducated. Jane is just innocent instead of innocent and prudent. Darcy can no longer be cold and distant, and so he becomes socially anxious; lady Catherine, because of the villainous role, has rage in place of her cold air of superiority. Charlotte is desperate rather than calculating; the feeling characters of the novel get even more amped up (Caroline, Bingley). The movie indulges in psychocosmical parallelisms, using the weather and the sets and the speed of the passage of time. The result is a movie that is and isn’t Pride and Prejudice at the same time. The arcs of the characters and the main beats of the story are there, but the tone or the characterization are not. It is still, besides its value as adaptation, a great movie when standing on its own as a movie.

Mansfield Park goes beyond that. It isn’t a matter of tone as it is that the goal of the adaptation is making one “what if...?”. “What if... this novel had been written in the second half of the 20th Century? How can the theme of moral corruption against holding steadfast to one’s moral convictions be translated into our categories?” The shy, traumatized, frail Fanny of the novel becomes this strong female writer that takes shit from no one unless forced to -and even then, her rebellious nature shows in her facial expression. Tom’s alcoholism is now put under the light of the tortured artist. Sir Thomas’ dealings can no longer be discreetly addressed in a couple lines about slavery; he’s now a lecherous villain that makes creepy comments about his niece and rapes slaves. Mrs. Bertram isn’t just slow and unconcerned, she’s an opium addict.

I think some of these ideas are clever, but fail spectacularly in the end because if Mansfield Park had been that kind of contemporary novel, it could never end with Fanny and Edmund together as a happy ending. Fanny’s reasons to reject Henry in the novel don’t make sense in the frame of this characterization. At most they can be reconstructed as fear of commitment in her part. The typical resolution of that kind of plot is the heroine overcoming her fear and riding into the sunset with the man who proposed to her a view of new freedom (That’s where this and this and this scenes are pointing towards), not in the man committing adultery with her cousin. Even if Rozema takes pains to give Edmund a proposal scene in which he’s very open and vulnerable and acknowledging his foolishness, the ending still doesn’t sit right, because the sterling chooses the cage. Other plot points don’t get resolution, like Sir Thomas’ extremely lewd behavior or a solution to the root of Tom’s alcoholism.

The problem is that plot structure and character arcs and motivations are so tightly woven in Austen’s novel, that a departure in motivations requires a departure from at least the ending point of the character arcs. And this is the big problem of Little Women 2019.

In a more ambitious way than the dream-not-a-dream sequence of Fanny accepting Henry’s proposal in Rozema’s Mansfield Park, it tries to change the ending and still follow the narrative beats of the novel. In the end, it accomplishes neither. Why?

First, because even if the authorial intent previous to the writing of God Wives was to let Jo remain single, the novel itself was written with the goal of having Jo marry by the end of it. The notion that the marriage at the end is tacked on reveals either bad reading comprehension or a stubborn refusal to actually read the text. The novel starts with the first separation of the March family (Meg’s wedding) and as time passes and plot moves forward, the separation grows more and more. Jo is no longer aunt March’s caretaker; Amy leaves for Europe; Jo herself has to leave to try and make Laurie stop thinking of her; then Laurie leaves; then Beth dies; and at the turning point of Jo’s arc, she feels lonelier than ever, crushed under the weight of Beth’s home responsibilities, like she has been forgotten and left behind. The plot twist is that there was someone that saw her, that knew her, that understood her, that had been loving and thinking of her all along, from a distance (when adaptations forego the plot point of the poem to achieve circular structure by Jo writing Little Women, this gets obscured).

The movie acknowledges this aspect of Jo’s growing loneliness, but doesn’t follow through it till it’s last consequences. Were there other ways of solving Jo’s loneliness than marriage? Sure! Make her get involved in an orphanage or school in New York. Make her meet good friends with which she could build a community at Plumfield. But that requires changing the structure of Good Wives in a significant way. And Gerwig didn’t want to -or I suspect, couldn’t- really depart from the text that way. The way she gets around it is by mocking it (which, for someone that has as their intent respecting the original author, is kind of nasty. There isn’t a trace of irony in the ending of the book, so you are either appealing as definitive interpretation a throwaway line in a letter, or think LMA is a clumsy writer).

The real, truer ending, seems to be the publishing of the book. But achievements don’t fend off loneliness, not in a satisfactory way. Anyone that has had an achievement knows this. Publishing a book and keeping the royalties, while being great in and of itself, is not the natural resolution of loneliness. It’s the natural resolution of insecurity, or of overcoming great exterior obstacles; which is in a way, an aspect of LMA’s life story, but not of Jo in either the novel or the movie.

So, the movie tries to keep the canon ending (because studios won’t have it another way), while mocking it (because she doesn’t like it) and giving an alternate ending (that is left vague) but also giving some crumbs to the Jo/Laurie fans with the “take me back” letter and the golden flashback of their friendship. And that’s what I think (besides of the publicity focusing on stepping on the work of other women that came before her) is the core of the intellectual dishonesty of this movie. If you really think you need to liberate LMA, then you change the plot to take prof. Bhaer out of the equation. For real. If you accept the canon ending of another expression of the author’s wishes, then you keep it as a real ending, or at the very least, don’t mock it (here goes also the transformation of Fritz’s character into a jerk).

In my opinion a refreshing way of telling this story would have been of telling a story within a story: tell Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women. Show us LMA’s struggles as an author trying to get published. Carry us through the process of writing the novel, through writing and rewriting and struggle with the editors. Show us scenes from the novel as they come to life under her pen. Give Jo her canon ending. Give LMA the final victory of publishing and keeping the royalties.

But that doesn’t seem to be the movie the studios wanted. What was wanted was another version of the novel Little Women, and make it so that it has star power and commodifies feminism, and to do it so, it needs to reject marriage and femininity while at the same time do lip service to it with a throaway line (Meg telling Jo that her dreams are important too never carries on into something in the plot); it needs to satisfy people that dislike the canon ending for different reasons, while still keeping it. And that’s exactly what this movie does, far more than honoring authorial intent and liberating LMA.

As an iconic line from a character in a series would say: “Have you ever stopped to consider the turnout of the rebellion business? Think about it. So many people fighting the system, and the system keeps getting wealthier.”

#Little Women #meta #Jane Austen #Mansfield Park 1999 #P&P 05 #criticism

66 notes · View notes

aion-rsa · 3 years

Text

Ted Lasso and Other TV Bosses We’d Walk Over Hot Coals For

https://ift.tt/3ryGOvx

In the heady moments of celebration after England’s victory over Denmark in this year’s Euros semi-final, the sight of team manager Gareth Southgate prompted ITV pundit Gary Neville to comment: “The standard of leaders in this country the past couple of years has been poor. Looking at that man, he’s everything a leader should be: respectful, humble, he tells the truth.”

The former Man U right-back’s words, directed at the political rulers of a country riven by Brexit, tap into a modern craving for decency. Fed a diet of self-serving narcissism from our public figures, we hunger for more wholesome fare: moral character, humility, honesty, kindness. In the year of horrors that was 2020, that appetite was temporarily sated on TV by fictional football manager Ted Lasso.

Played in the Apple TV series by Jason Sudeikis (who, in true Ted style, wore a shirt to the Ted Lasso season two launch in support of the three young Black England footballers who received racist abuse after their team’s eventual loss to Italy in the final), Ted’s thoroughgoing decency won everyone over to The Lasso Way. He’s the gold standard of TV bosses – selfless, caring, wise, inspirational, and patiently dedicated to bringing out the best in his players and the team as a whole. He may not always win on the pitch, but he always wins in our hearts. And if those words make you want to heave, then you, friend, may just need a little more Lasso in your life. #Believe.

To celebrate his return, we present Ted’s TV peers, the bosses for whom you’d go any number of extra miles.

Leslie Knope – Parks & Recreation

There is no finer example set in the TV workplace than Leslie Barbara Knope. The Pawnee public servant leads from the front, the sides and the back. She’s the waffle-powered sheepdog of City Hall, yapping co-workers and townsfolk into shape with her relentless work ethic and bottomless optimism. Leslie’s a boss who cares so much that she’s already bought your Christmas gift. And your birthday gift. And made you a special hand-crafted gift to mark the half-year anniversary of the day you first met. She sleeps three hours a night, runs entirely on sugar (or should that be salgar?), has a binder for every eventuality, and always, always has your back. Her rubber-soled energy is so infectious that over seven seasons she even manages to motivate the lazy (Tom), disaffected (April), dumb (Andy), aloof (Donna), hapless (Jerry) and the downright obstructive (Ron). For a gal named ‘nope’, she’s a whole lot of yes. LM

Bertram Cooper – Mad Men

Technically, advertising firm Sterling Cooper on Mad Men has two bosses – Roger Sterling and Bertram Cooper. Coop, however, is the let’s say…more experienced of the two and takes on the role of boss. And what a boss he is! The eccentric office sage played by Robert Morse takes a decidedly hands off approach to managing the workplace. Do whatever you want in this Madison Avenue ad agency, as long as you take your shoes off when you enter Bert’s office. And if you’re nice enough he might show you his collection of erotic octopus art. AB

Jacqueline Carlyle – The Bold Type

The Editor-In-Chief of Scarlet magazine, the women’s title at the heart of ridiculous millennial wish fulfillment vehicle The Bold Type is part mentor, part mother figure, part fairy godmother to the three young women at the centre of the show. Jane is an intern when she first meets Jacqueline, who greets her with “Are you a writer? You look like a writer.” Because, yep, it really is that easy to get a job at a top magazine. The Bold Type is nonsense but it’s very good hearted nonsense which tries in earnest to tackle big issues while maintaining a sunny outlook. Be yourself, be passionate, be bold, the show says, and the world is at your feet. Sent a couple of tweets? Congratulations, have a promotion! Threatened with a lawsuit because of something you wrote? No bother, have a promotion! Fraudulently passed yourself off as a stylist when you’re not, thereby ruining a key relationship? Meh. Promotion for you! Promotions all round! Jacqueline is glamorous and wise, endlessly patient with her proteges and seemingly in possession of a bottomless budget. We all wish we worked for Jacqueline and she’s a wonderful (imaginary) role model. We’re just slightly nervous for any young fans of the show who ever get to work for an actual, real life Editor-In-Chief… RF

Mr. Krabs – SpongeBob SquarePants

Mr. Krabs is a good boss because he’s refreshingly upfront about what matters to him. Simply put: the crab likes money. As long as you’re putting in the hours and keeping the profit margins fat, Mr. Krabs will be your best friend. Sure, he takes advantage of SpongeBob’s naivete from time to time. But deep down, you know the guy has a heart as big as his enormous whale daughter, Pearl. AB

Supt. Ted Hastings – Line of Duty

Think of Ted Hastings, head of Central Police’s Anti-Corruption Unit 12, as Ulysses – a man sailing on dangerous waters but so determined not to be seduced by the sirens’ song that he’s tied himself to the ship’s mast and stopped his ears with wax. Except replace ‘siren’s song’ with ‘bungs from criminal gangs’, and ‘ship’s mast’ and ‘wax’ with ‘sheer force of will, son’. Ted’s a colossus of integrity in a world of backhanders and turning-a-blind-eye. He does the right thing even when it’s the hard thing, and if you’re one of his officers, then you’re his for life. (Unless you’re a corrupt gangster plant, in which case, by Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey, he’ll never live down the shame.) Ted may have more decency in his side-parting than most officers have in their whole bodies, but he still has his flaws. The stock he puts in loyalty makes him inflexible, and his temper’s a thing to be seen, but the key thing about Ted as a leader is that when he makes a mistake, he owns up to it. We should all be so lucky to have a gaffer like him. LM

Ron Donald – Party Down

Starz’s brilliant comedy Party Down premiered around the same time as classic NBC sitcom Parks and Recreation. As such, Ken Marino’s perpetually stressed boss character Ron Donald didn’t get nearly as much attention as another boss named Ron: Ron Swanson. Let’s be clear, however, nobody would want Ron Swanson as a boss because that means you’d have to regularly interact with a libertarian. Instead, it’s far better to be in the good graces of Ron Donald. This Ron will support your dreams all the while telling you about his own to own a Souper Crackers franchise. AB

Press Gang: How Steven Moffat’s First Show Shaped a Generation

By Rosie Fletcher

Party Down: a US sitcom that richly deserves your time

By Louisa Mellor

Lynda Day – Press Gang

Bit of of a niche one – you probably have to be British and in your 40s to even know who this is – but Lynda Day, played by Julia Sawalha deserves a mention as the youngest boss on the list. Editor of the Junior Gazette, the after school newspaper run by pupils at the heart of Steven Moffat’s very first show she’s an erudite journalist, a ruthless news hound and a self possessed young woman who cares more about being right than about being liked. Lynda isn’t particularly soft or warm but she is a boss who would make you a better writer. You’d strive to please Lynda, want to live up to her incredibly high standards and know that the work you were doing on the paper could actually make a difference. Lynda is all about work ethic and integrity. Small of frame, sharp of tongue, you wouldn’t wanna mess with her, but you know she’ll get shit done. RF

Captain Holt – Brooklyn 99

It says something about a boss when you wouldn’t just walk over hot coals for them, you would also do it for their pet dog. Cheddar the corgi is just one of many reasons to snap your sharpest salute to Captain Raymond “Do Not Call Me Ray Or Use Contractions In My Presence” Holt. Precinct captain of the 99, Holt is a walking yardstick of fine taste, good manners, linguistic clarity and grammatical coherence. Holt values simplicity and despises vulgarity. Do your job and do it right, and you will earn his hard-won respect, perhaps indicated by a very slight incline of the head if he is feeling frivolous. Holt has already earned your respect, for leading an exemplary career as an openly gay NYC cop since 1987, facing down racists, homophobes and the lowest of the low: people who use “What’s up?” as a greeting. Captain Holt’s impossibly high standards are a bar few reach, but to which we can all aspire. LM

Ian Grimm and Poppy Li – Mythic Quest

Mythic Quest creative directors Ian Grimm (Rob McElhenney) and Poppy Li (Charlotte Nicdao) are messes on their own. But when their personalities combine, they create one great boss unit who keeps things moving and keeps things lively. Granted, I wouldn’t want to work for Ian and Poppy as a programmer or dev on the Mythic Quest team because crunch is real (and I also have no such skills). They would make for a great boss team in just about any other industry though. AB

DCI Cassie Stuart – Unforgotten

Some bosses try to impress their status on employees by turning up the volume, but not DCI Cassie Stuart. Everything she does in ITV police drama Unforgotten, from case meetings to suspect interrogations, she does in the same controlled, low voice. It gives her words an intensity that shouting wouldn’t achieve and makes her cold-case murder team lean in to absorb the significance of what she’s saying. Usually, that’s on the theme of how they owe victims answers and are going to find them. Diligent and dedicated, she trusts her team, especially partner Sunny, and is the kind of boss whose praise really means something. A ‘good work’ from her and you’d be walking on air. LM

Conan O’Brien – Conan

This is technically violating the spirit of this thought exercise because Conan O’Brien is not fictional. What he is, however, is a boss…in both the metaphorical and literal sense of the word. No late night talk show host has ever reveled in being the boss of a staff as much as Conan O’Brien has on his shows like Late Night, The Tonight Show, and Conan. He views his role as boss as an opportunity to troll his employees like a corny father torturing his children with dad jokes. Many of Conan’s behind the scenes workers have become stars in their own right, like producer Jordan Schlansky or assistant Sona Movessian. And it’s all because Conan can’t help but want everyone to be involved and having a good time. Just like any great boss would want. AB

Captain Janeway – Star Trek Voyager

Anyone can be a good boss in a thriving workplace, but it takes a person of strong character to stay empathetic, decisive, and focused when everything goes to hell. In the very first episode of Star Trek: Voyager, Captain Janeway is stranded with her crew on the wrong side of the galaxy, 70,000 light years from home. She is tasked with getting not only her Starfleet crew home, but also the remaining members of the Maquis vessel Voyager was trying to capture when they were both pulled into the unexplored Delta quadrant. She does this all without the institutional support of the Federation, and without the certainty that they will ever make it back. It’s not always pretty, and Janeway makes some questionable decisions along the way, but it’s hard to imagine Voyager making it home without Janeway as their tough-as-nails boss. KB

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Ted Lasso Season 2 is available now on Apple TV+

The post Ted Lasso and Other TV Bosses We’d Walk Over Hot Coals For appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2VddvT9

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

0 notes