#or are a queer identity with some exception

[rouge-the-bat]

i never get people that always headcanon characters (or make ocs) as the same identities. like i can get having common ones you give characters, but if u just Actually make them all the same, how is that not... super boring ?? do you not find inherent interest and joy in the vast experiences of identity and how they can come through in different characters???

[brodyfoxxsmassivetits]

I feel like one of Matt's best friends that are outside of his main best friend group is definitely a fashionista

Like they definitely give each other fashion ideas off the bat because they just like that do it out of pocket so easily

I forget the possibility that they can infact have friends outside of the main ones...BESTIE DESIGNINED!! Billie!!! Hi Billie hi! Matt's gal pal..gal pal??? Thing pal... creature.

I sorta lost the fashionista plot and tunnel visioned in on giving Matt a pal but yk good enough...they match each other's freak

idk what they have going on their both strange freaks with stuff going on...do we fw billie...

[fiona-fififi]

Incredible to me that I genuinely think this show would have been better off staying at FOX or just canceled outright. The move to ABC has done it zero favors.

[solarsystems-greatestpsychic]

Tell me you’re repressed without telling me you’re repressed lmfao.

I AM NOT REPRESSED. I AM NOT GAY. I AM A HETEROSEXUAL.

[catboynutsack]

I love being a pathetic little Tumblr meow meow irl. I've had multiple people get kicked out of friend groups I'm in over and over bc they showed their true colours--aka they couldn't resist bullying someone so pathetic when coming across them and when everyone realizes that they weren't as progressive as they thought they're immediately excommunicated from the friend group.

[problemcore]

ahem. im ok now . goodnight

[wreckedhoney]

^^ "coming to the conclusion that positioning the "can people enjoy things that would be immoral IRL in their fiction" debate as a proship v anti fandom debate is akin to pretending that "should we have the death penalty" is a discussion that only matters in Death Note discourse"

not proshipper not anti but a secret third thing (person who has a career in the media and, through covering legislative politics, has watched "associating with problematic fiction or entertainment is an indicator of moral degeneracy" rapidly become a mainstream GOP position that they are encoding in legislation to target the queer community under the guise of protecting children, thus coming to the conclusion that positioning the "can people enjoy things that would be immoral IRL in their fiction" debate as a proship v anti fandom debate is akin to pretending that "should we have the death penalty" is a discussion that only matters in Death Note discourse — the extent and manner to which fiction affects reality is an issue that is immediately relevant to today's US politics, and to summarize my opinions on the matter in fandom terms would be to diminish the ways this debate is affecting america Right The Fuck Now. and i have stopped taking "this person is bad for shipping the wrong anime thing and being horny about it" in any sort of good faith ever since I saw it literally used as part of a GOP smear campaign against a transgender state legislator in an attempt to defend the right from backlash after they used their supermajority in the Montana house to prevent her from speaking on the floor. Anyway I think everyone on this site, especially Americans, could benefit from ceasing to think in proship v anti vocabulary and instead developing coherent political positions on the nature of fiction that do not directly align with current fascist political tactics)

[weatherelectric]

Okay so ik that we're supposed to like "Ask for pronouns!" and all of that but if another queer person who I don't know singles me out and plays the pronoun guessing game I'm going to lose it.

[omgthatdress]

The Importance of Studying Queerness in Context.

When studying queer history, one always has to keep in mind two seemingly contradictory things: firstly, that queerness and queer people have always existed, but at the same time, that queerness and queer identities have not always existed the way they exist today.

Modern queer terms and identities did not exist to queer people in the past. They would not have thought of themselves as "gay" or "trans" or even "queer." While these modern terms may seem to fit certain historic individuals, these individuals would not have thought of themselves as such, and it would not be a part of their lived experience. To apply the modern identities of queerness to history is to erase the lives and experiences of queer people in history, and care must always be taken to understand queer history within the context of its time.

When looking at queer history online, there is a *lot* of misinformation and misidentification out there simply because people are eager to apply modern queerness to history, often in places where it doesn't belong.

A lot of old photos get misidentified as gay because they show two people of the same sex showing some level of physical affection towards each other. Okay, I'll admit that the open-mouth kissing photobooth pictures are probably actually gay, but an old picture of two men or two women holding hands or with their arms around each other, or even kissing on the cheek, were common shows of platonic affection.

I hate to break everyone's gay little hearts, but without explicit documentation saying so, assuming that these couples are all gay is putting modern queer identity in places where it simply didn't exist. The women in the final picture are sisters. The "not married" boys are bachelors interested in marrying women.

In the silent film Wings, the emotional climax of the film comes in the form of a kiss exchanged between the characters played by Jack Powell and David Armstrong. It often gets attributed as the first gay kiss in cinema history, even on the fucking YouTube clip I found:

Except it isn't gay. The two men spend the whole film fighting over who gets to be Clara Bow's boyfriend. When Richard Arlen's character is fatally wounded, his dear friend rushes to his side and kisses him goodbye, because in the 1920s, that was considered the ultimate show of friendship. The movie ends with Jack Powell falling in love with Clara Bow.

Similarly, a kiss shared between Lillian and Dorothy Gish in the 1921 movie Orphans of the Storm often gets attributed as being queer, but it wasn't.

They were sisters playing sisters. None of this was considered unusual.

Pooh-poohing on all of these images that so many people on the internet breathlessly and joyously laud as proud gay history isn't fun. It makes me feel like I'm fucking Ben Shapiro. But if misinformation is allowed to flourish, it allows people like Ben Shapiro to come in and make the argument that queerness is a modern invention and queer people didn't exist in the past.

Everyone loves to see queerness represented in history, but the fact is that none of the stuff in this post would have been seen as explicitly gay and thus shouldn't be called gay today. If we are to understand queer history in its fullness and richness, it is absolutely crucial that we get it right. We owe it to our queer ancestors to recognize, honor, and not embellish the actual lives they lived.

[icanseethefuture333]

Asteroid Born (13954) 🍏🍎: “Why the apple doesn’t fall so far from the tree 🍄‍🟫”

How you were conceived + Why were you born into this lifetime 🏡♥️🥧

Aries Born / Born in the 1st House:

You are very courageous and bold when it comes to your self expression. Your parents might have considered you as a “busy body” and always had to keep you entertained as an infant. Probably one of those babies who would make funny expressions when they were mad. During pregnancy, your mother could have dealt with a lot of kicking, heartburns, and/or tummy aches. Childbirth as well may have hurt or been difficult due to you having a larger head as a baby (oops!). I see the parents being relatively active during pregnancy, perhaps your parents went to the gym or played sports still. You were born into this world to discover your unique individuality and coming to terms with your identity. Some of you must learn how to embrace all parts of yourself whether that is your physical appearance, sexuality, or personality. Were you raised to feel shame or had to hide some parts of yourself? How can you approach these factors in everyday life? Practicing self validation instead of seeking it from an outside source would be helpful. Focus on establishing a routine of self love and confidence in everyday life, this will attract the most success. Engaging in exercise activities for children such as dodgeball, double dutch, or hopscotch could help you reconnect to your inner child.

Taurus Born / Born in the 2nd house:

Ahhh the spoiled babies. You guys had it all when you were born. Very lavish and comfy childbirth. Your mothers could have gained a lot of weight and ate very yummy foods during pregnancy. Refined palettes with the exception of late snacks and cheeses (I bet these moms would ask people to have a glass of wine for them lol). Your mother could have been feeling very lazy and lethargic, very much so a couch potato. I also see them receiving compliments on how beautiful they look pregnant. I even see the dads gaining weight and getting a dad bod out of support for the mom lol. It is likely you were sensitive to touch when you were born, needing a security blanket or something soft to make you feel safe and protected. Your purpose in life is to understand that money is a wonderful tool but it cannot solve all of your problems. You have to reflect on your values and how you can provide a secure and stable home to yourself. It also important to realize what you are prioritizing in life. Do you have a follow a diet? Are you putting others before your own needs? Do you want to be successful in life but are not implementing healthy habits into your routine? Write a list of goals that you would like to accomplish and figure out methods to make these things come to life, while also keeping your mind stimulated so you won’t fall back in laziness and self sabotaging habits.

Gemini Born / Born in the 3rd House:

Yappers! These babies learned to speak at a few months old. It is likely they were very vocal as infants and could express themselves very easily. Your parents could have had a duality to themselves, which may have resulted in uneasiness or not sure which side of them you were seeing that day. I also interpret this as having parents that switched roles or don’t follow gender stereotypes (E.G: stay at home dad / working mom or having queer parents, etc). You may also have a twin! During pregnancy, your mother could have had many mood swings or experienced a lot of anxiety. I also see this as experiencing butterflies and talking a lot out of nervousness. Their conversations were engaging and interesting. Your parents could have even spoken to you while you were still in your mother’s tummy or played music for you to hear. In this lifetime, you were tasked with developing a community. Some of you are very smart but have difficulty forming connections with others or you are so comfortable speaking your mind that you don’t realize it can come off as blunt at times. Listen, we know you’re intelligent but sometimes you need to hear wisdom from other people in order grow in certain areas. If you have a sibling, you can rely on that bond with them to seek advice, they can help you understand a situation better. Since you have a dynamic personality, you can use your gift to communicate with individuals with different identities.

Cancer Born / Born in the 4th house:

The need to retreat and be at home is a prominent theme here. During pregnancy, your mother could have needed time alone or preferred to stay in the comfort of their home. Your parents could have prioritized privacy and shied away from being around new people besides family members. The childbirth was an intimate and emotional moment for your parents. Your birth could have been at home as well. Whoever was considered family was also in the room when you were born. As an infant you may have needed more physical touch and cried consistently. These babies are likely to be at the hip or maybe even slept in the same room as their parents. There is a strong attachment to your family. In this lifetime you are meant to discover your ancestral lineage and establish a strong connection with relatives. Parenthood could be significant in your life as well if you choose to have children. You are meant to act as a nurturing figure in other people's lives. If you are not close with your family, then it is likely you need to understand what family means to you. Sometimes family can be our friends, pets, or our partner, whichever you decide - there is no right or wrong way to love someone.

Leo Born / Born in the 5th house:

The star of the family. I'm seeing this placement as having social media parents or your mom going viral for pregnancy vlogs. Your birth could have been very talked about or you were adored by family for being popular or cute as a baby. Maybe some of you even did commercials or modeled when you were really young, I also see this apply to your parents. Your parents could have felt even more creative during pregnancy, like maybe your mother painted, sung, or danced more. I also see this as a surprise baby or the way you were conceived was considered a blessing. For some of you, your parents could have been trying for a baby and were so excited to finally have you. There is a lot of focus on joy and celebration. Some of you had parents who threw a gender reveal party or had a big baby shower. You were born into this world to play, I feel that this could be difficult for this placement, since the world can bring us down at times but your energy is whats needed. You need to express yourself and let go of the worries that is holding you back. Have fun, play games, be silly, and just do whatever hobbies that allows you to be be free. I also see that working with children or interacting with the children in your family will increase your happiness. Lastly, take a lighthearted approach to love, enjoy the wonders of romance without the over complications of it.

Virgo Born / Born in the 6th house:

Health was an important factor to your parents when it came to conceiving a child. Perhaps one of your parents was infertile? Or suffered from some kind of illness that made the pregnancy difficult. Your mother could have been more prone to morning sickness such as vomiting or nausea. I also see that they had a routine, they could have had to balance work while also being pregnant. Animals were significant as well. So your parents possibly turned to a pet for comfort or realized they were pregnant because of a pet. For some of you, your mother could have been the type to clean before giving birth. Something about cleaning or being tidy to feel more prepared. As a baby, you could have sneezed a lot or gotten colds. Your immune system was often compromised and this concerned your parents. You could have had your immunization shots early on. This is something your parents were not going to argue about lol. In this lifetime, you need to take care of all aspects of your health - physical, mental, and emotional health. You also need a routine, you can be disorganized at times, and require a set system to keep you on the right track. Also romanticizing the little things would help you appreciate life. You could often overlook what's right in front of you and disregard living in the moment, you have so much abundance right in front of you. Having plants or keeping a pet would help provide a safe space. Also engaging in light exercise, offering to be of service to people, and meditation will ease your anxiety.

Libra Born / Born in the 7th house:

Made with love lol. Your parents were very much so enamored with each other when you were conceived. Its giving "I know their parents high five every time they see what they made". You could have been considered a very beautiful baby or received a lot of compliments from people. Your parents as well had a nice maternity shoot. Your mother was very radiant and glowing, probably had rosy cheeks and everything. You may look to your parents for when you need an example on love and what to look for in relationships. Your parents saw each other as equals or followed traditional roles. Some of you could also have parents who work in law so they could care a lot about appearances and maintaining a good image. It is important that you learn the difference between love and superficial attraction. You are adored by many but because of that adoration it could potentially lead you to not go past a surface level. Share the parts of yourself that is most beautiful, such as your kindness, and fairness towards others. The way you treat people makes them feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Your relationship with others as well as yourself is important to your self development. Working in business or giving back to your support system could give you a new perspective.

Scorpio Born / Born in the 8th house:

This placement has an interesting aura to it. Some of these babies could be an only child or something about the way they were born was transformative. It is possible a family member died before or after you were born, there had to be a loss before you could be conceived. Your mother could have felt that childbirth was traumatic and could of put her in a state of shock, or even dealt with a near death experience. The overall experience of pregnancy was very intense for your parents. It was definite that you would be the last baby to be born because of such factors. You could have also been given an inheritance or were indebted to someone or something. It is possible that you were next in line such as an heir to a family business or lived in a home that passed down for many generations. There might have been paranormal activities when you were born or you were like those babies that would laugh randomly when nothing was there, possibly seeing spirits. Being accepting of change will make things easier in your life. It is likely that you resist transformation due to how deeply you feel your emotions, it can be triggering and exhausting. Try to have a positive outlook on the changes of your life and realize the blessings in the lessons you have experienced. Sex could be a healing factor in your life or it is a way to find pleasure in engaging with your senses.

Sagittarius Born / Born in the 9th house:

It is likely that these babies were born while their parents were traveling or they even could have been adopted. Your mother was likely traveling when she gave birth to you or had to give birth in public. For some of you, your mother was pregnant as she went to college or often went to church. Your parents were very wise and philosophical. There could have been a midwife or doula present during your birth. You may also be of a diverse background, so you may have lived in different places as infant or was exposed to different identities. I also interpret this as possibly having older parents or your parents have an old soul. You are an intelligent person. It is time for you to practice the wisdom in everyday life. You are philosophical, wise, and multi-cultured but you lack in practicing what you preach. You have to be open minded and optimistic when it comes to learning new things. Traveling, reading philosophy, praying to spirit or a deity, or having in depth conversations with people would provide clarity in your life. You need to experience spiritual refreshment in order to continue to feel peace. Study more!!! The answers you seek is in the knowledge that you already have. You are missing out on great opportunities when you choose not to use your resources.

Capricorn Born / Born in the 10th house:

You may come from a prestigious family or they are known for having a reputable reputation. Your parents could work for a well known company and have a higher position. Very business savvy individuals. Your mother could have worked despite being pregnant and had to face discrimination for it, or I see her taking a comfortable maternity leave thanks to the other parent being the financial provider. Your father could be someone who is strict or has high expectations as well. As a baby, you were self sufficient and independent. You did not require as much attentive care as other babies did. Although, this may have affected your attachment style. You could be avoidant when it comes to expressing emotions and when it comes to difficult feelings you focus on work instead. You were meant to be the boss in this lifetime. Your work ethic comes from your genetics. You have the drive and motivation that many people don’t have. It is important that you learn to follow your intuition and realize that you need to also seek what provides emotional fulfillment. You are responsible and dedicated to those around you as well as your career. Make sure to not overly sacrifice your well being for the sake of others. It is okay to take breaks and focus on your own happiness. Being more grounded with reality and your emotions is necessary for your self development and creating discipline.

Aquarius Born / Born in the 11th house:

The way these babies were conceived could be non-traditional. Your parents could have had a one night stand or had sex after only knowing each other for a weeks (or even months). Definitely an unexpected child or you were not planned. Your mother would have weird cravings or eat odd food combinations. Her personality was also deemed as quirky or her behavior seemed peculiar. Your mother also could have dressed differently or had unique maternity clothes. Your parents’ social life could have boomed after having children, making connections with family, or met new friends. Some of you could have parents who are well known on the internet. These babies have the potential of being internet stars or memes. Growing up, you may have felt ostracized and did not feel welcome in most places. Your goal in life is to learn how to rebel again the norm and embrace being unique by tapping into your individuality. Also learning how to make friends or establishing connections with others, even if it seems difficult. You were meant to have a social circle that will be there to teach you wisdom and give you guidance when needed. The longevity of these friendships is not what’s important but the lessons that comes with them. Once you are able to accept yourself and all the perks that comes with it, you will be able to reach better opportunities. Using technology as a tool could assist you with your goals.

Pisces Born / Born in the 12th house:

Childbirth could have been a spiritual experience for your mother. It is likely she already knew she would be pregnant before she even realized. Your parents are very intuitive, they even had dreams about you before you were born. When your mother was pregnant, she felt very emotional and in tune with what you were feeling. I believe these parents would go to Lamaze together or some sort of meditative exercise to make sure that the birth was at least peaceful and safe. Some of you had a water birth or were born near watery places such as the ocean, a pool, etc. A doula or midwife was likely to be present as well. As a child, you were very dreamy and creative. You are very expressive and have a great imagination. You were blessed in this lifetime with psychic abilities or great empathy. You are able to read the room and give people the safe space that they need. Your energy is very comforting and serene. I believe because of your sensitive nature it is likely for you to fall in codependent relationships. It is crucial that you learn to set boundaries and separate fantasy from reality. Take your time to get to know people before you see the “best” in them. You also need to realize you are not a victim but a person who has overcome hardships. Whatever you went through in the past does not apply to you now, you have the freedom of choice, and you get to decide who you want to be. Use your intuition and manifest your goals by connecting with your higher self. Do not allow people, especially partners to “manic pixie dream girl” you.

[hexihertzgameart]

And now on our hands, we have the (debatably) worst Roman Empire as part of the tradition.

God I love being queer.

I bring you… my silly little comics. Saw a tik tok this morning about British Museum recognizing emperor Elagabalus as a trans woman 🏳️‍⚧️, and I just had to draw this.

[dukeofankh]

Leaving toxic masculinity behind as a source of community is pretty much an unmitigated good, especially for men who are chronically underperforming in one or more metric by which hegemonic patriarchal status is measured (heterosexuality, whiteness, ability to perform violence, ect.). No real external spur is needed for leaving. It doesn't even require empathy. Just perspective. Relying on an abusive pyramid scheme for self worth is bad, actually.

But when you leave that, I dunno, call me a whiny incel who expects emotional labour from others, it would be cool if there was some sort of community or support structure in place for progressive men to find celebration and identity and acceptance. It would be nice if we had cultural conceptions of positive masculinity that could be emulated instead of individual, exceptional, disposable blorbos to be fawned over. It would be nice if being masculine wasn't viewed as something that negates or problematises my queerness. It would be nice to even be able to find media about masculinity that isn't poisoned by fascism or more interested in dunking on said misogynists for clout. I feel like I'm trying to build something new from scratch. Why? Why is this such a fucking wasteland.

I don't know about y'all, but I have never felt understood and accepted by any community ever in my fucking life. I have never felt seen. I have never felt at home. I'm not gonna become a misogynist about it but there sure isn't anything positive to lean on or collective vision for a positive future to fucking strive for, is there? Christ.

And like, because I know I do have to end with this, before you try some faux-hopecore bullshit on me that actually seeks to shift the blame right back onto me, I'm already donating to and planning to volunteer for my local left wing party for our upcoming federal election. I already signed up for more classes to fill my time, I'm married, I text my stupid friends who bail on me and don't text back. I have been to therapy several times. I have already poured hundreds of hours trying to build community in male feminist spaces online. Systemic issues do not magically become individual failings when we talk about men.

[laurenfoxmakesthings]

People get changing a queer character's orientation to something 'more comfortable/appealing to everyone else' in an adaptation is bad until that character is ace and/or aro.

I don't even care about Marvel anymore, but seeing this unfold is very tiring as someone who has witnessed the erasure of Jughead and its fallout. At least with that, it was the show that deliberately erased his identity.

Except this time, with Yelena, some fans are willing to interpret positive interactions as the erasure they WANT.

You're all against erasure...until you're handed an excuse to erase aces and aros on a sliver platter.

'But MCU--' Would you be fine with a comic character being changed to a different orientation in a movie adaptation if they were originally gay? Would you be fine with any medium to another medium adaptation doing that to a gay character in general?

No, you wouldn't. You get why you wouldn't.

Except with aces and aros apparently.

Jughead all over again.

[sidequestsinlife]

time for some statistical analysis of the phandom's attraction to sister daniel!

the original post with results, asking y'all if you are sexually attracted to sister daniel

so now, some analysis of the answers bc why not! disclaimer i am not scientist or a statistician or whatever, sorry if there are mistakes in the math but i'm open to corrections from anyone else who cares enough to read all of this!

there were 1,250 responses over three days. we do not know much about the respondents except that they are likely phannies bc it would be unlikely for them to come across the poll otherwise i guess? since i only asked in the original answer choices which gender you are "typically attracted to" but not your gender, we have no way of knowing how many respondents are some flavor of queer since the ones who answered "typically attracted to men" or "typically attracted to women" could be either gay or straight depending on the respondent's gender, which we do not know.

also just a note, since tumblr does not give us the percentage of respondents beyond one decimal place, there are going to be some fractions of people in here; deal with it, i guess, lol.

overall we had 60.3% "yes" responses (753.75 votes), 33.8% "no responses (422.5 votes), and 75 of you chose "secret extra option/bald/results. as for that last option, from the notes i suspect that a lot of that stems from people being uncertain about what defines sexual attraction? idk either i am not a scientist, but i probably could have found a better way to word that. sorry!

anyway, for those who identified yourselves as "typically attracted to men," there were 116.25 "yes" answers and 65 "no" answers, meaning those attracted to men were almost twice as likely to be attracted to sister daniel as not (specifically ~1.79x as likely).

for those who identified yourselves as "typically attracted to women," there were 187.5 "yes" answers and 131.25 "no" answers, meaning y'all were ~1.43x as likely to be attracted to sister daniel as not.

for the "various genders/other gender(s)," we had lots of bi/pan/etc phannies showing up to express their attraction to sister daniel! 417.5 "yes" votes compared to only 103.75 "no" votes! just over 4x as likely to be attracted to sister daniel as not!

and for the "typically attracted to nobody" crowd, we still had 32.5 "yes" votes and 122.5 "no" votes. unsurprisingly, this was the only group more likely not to be attracted to sister daniel, for obvious reasons, being ~3.77x more likely to NOT be attracted to sister daniel. still, about 21% of you said you are attracted to sister daniel despite typically not experiencing sexual attraction

tldr:

all phannies are more likely to be attracted to sister daniel than not, in total

phannies typically attracted to men are 1.79 times more likely to be attracted to sister daniel versus not

phannies typically attracted to women are 1.43 times more likely to be attracted to sister daniel versus not

phannies typically attracted to multiple/other gender(s) are a whopping FOUR times as likely to be attracted to sister daniel as not

phannies typically attracted to nobody were unsurprisingly more likely not to be attracted to sister daniel, but about 21% of y'all still answered yes

IMPORTANT CONCLUSIONS:

attraction to sister daniel transcends typical ideas about gender or sexual identity in a way that confuses many of us, but also turns most of us on.

thank you for coming to my ted talk?

[wheneverfeasible]

Post Secret

wc: 4k || rating: M || tags: implied sexual content, referenced homophobia, vers bottom Steve, vers top Eddie, bisexual Steve, bisexual Eddie, angst with a happy ending || summary: Steve deals with some insecurities the morning after he reveals himself as Eddie’s secret admirer || ao3

Started writing this during the trend of secret admirer fics being everywhere when I was curious how things might look with a different sort of morning after.

👑 💌 🎸

As awareness slowly returned to Steve, so too did the memories of the previous night. The twinge in his backside certainly helped prove that it hasn’t all been the most amazing of dreams brought on by his months of pining over what he had once thought was unattainable.

He could still feel Eddie’s hands on him, his warm breath ghosting over Steve’s ear as he whispered exactly what he was going to do to Steve, and then the shape of him as he did exactly what he promised. The stretch and burn and, yes, little bit of pain as Steve was opened up and taken in a way he hadn’t been expecting that night.

Maybe he should have, all things considered.

The last letters had gotten pretty…risqué.

Not that he was complaining, no siree Bob. He had thoroughly enjoyed everything Eddie had written to him, even back when Eddie had first thought he was a girl. Which had…been something else, truthfully. Steve had never been so grateful for his experience with girls than he had been trying to pretend to be one.

He hadn’t really expected to get to any of this when he’d first started writing those secret admirer letters to Eddie. The first one had caused Eddie to look apprehensive, however, like it was some joke he was waiting to be the punchline for…maybe literally, and Steve couldn’t help but write him another one to assure him that it was genuinely meant.

It was when he went to drop off the third one that he found something already wedged in the grill at Eddie’s locker, waiting for him. He’d swiftly taken it when he saw that it was a response to him, and from there their secret correspondence continued, though the letters weren’t always exchanged through Eddie’s locker.

It was honestly sort of fun finding new places to exchange their secret notes, and slowly the two of them grew closer together. Even though Eddie assumed it was a girl at first. Which…had fucking sucked, though it should have been obvious to Steve.

Which led to Steve pretending to be a girl until more recently, when he finally admitted that the reason he believed Eddie could never actually return his affections had been because, besides being exactly the sort of person Eddie always railed against, he was also a boy.

Steve had felt so fucking nauseous writing that out. Had felt even more nauseous dropping it off. He knew he was risking a lot more than just a broken heart if Eddie ever found out who his secret admirer was. Steve knew that he could be beaten, chased out of town, or even killed if Eddie took offense to a queer liking him.

It had taken longer than normal for a reply to be given, and Steve was expecting the worst. He just couldn’t lie to Eddie, not anymore, not about this. Not giving his identity was different than giving a false one, and he felt skeevy writing anything sexual when the guy wasn’t consenting to doing that with another guy.

So yeah, he expected so much hatred and disgust in the reply when it finally came.

Except there hadn’t been any.

Instead, Eddie’s letter was full of comfort and care, as well as an apology for making the assumption in the first place, for making his secret admirer feel like he had to pretend to be someone else out of fear or self-hatred.

And then Eddie had said that he hadn’t ever been with a man before, but that he was eager at the thought that his secret admirer would be his first one. And maybe even his only.

Steve had replied that he had also never been with another guy before, and then their next letters were full of their explorations with the idea, with the things they would do together, with how much it didn’t change things that Eddie’s secret admirer was a boy instead of a girl.

Things got…a lot more heated after that.

And then Eddie had told him where to pick up his next letter, and with it had been a pair of Eddie’s boxers. Steve wore them, as instructed in the letter, as he pleasured himself to Eddie’s words about what he was going to do to him. And then, face blooming red, he’d returned them in a baggy with his own letter to Eddie detailing how he had touched himself.

And so things progressed until it was time for graduation. Or at least, Steve’s graduation. It was discovered that Eddie would have to repeat senior year again on some technicality that Higgins cooked up. And Steve…

They had spoken about so much, had revealed more about themselves than anyone else knew, even close friends. Steve had revealed how shitty his parents were, how much they seemed to care about everything else except their son, while Eddie talked about his dad and how he’d string Eddie along before ultimately abandoning him for good when Eddie proved no longer useful and everything that had led to Eddie dropping out his first senior year.

They talked about the kids that Steve had begun babysitting, for lack of a better word, and about Eddie’s uncle who Eddie probably took for granted more than he should. About Steve’s concussions and loneliness, and how Eddie had gotten into selling drugs in the first place because his father introduced him to Reefer Rick and Eddie needed to help Wayne pay bills.

They talked about fears and dreams and plans to escape this shitty town, though Steve wasn’t able to say why he felt like he couldn’t leave Hawkins yet, why he’d wake up from nightmares that had nothing to do with Billy’s fists but everything to do with Max’s terrified eyes. With Mike’s and Will’s and Lucas’s and Dustin’s and even Eleven’s.

Eddie wanted to meet. Was adamant that he wouldn’t hate whoever his secret admirer was, not when he knew who his admirer was at his core. And Steve…

Steve wanted to believe that. He wanted to believe that with every fiber of his being because he’d come to the realization that somewhere between his fifth and fiftieth letter, he’d fallen in love with Eddie Munson. He could only hope that Eddie would see him, truly see him, and see something other than bullshit.

Steve agreed to meet with Eddie and…well.

Though he hadn’t necessarily been expecting to go all the way with Eddie that first night, it was like a gravitational pull existed between them. Eddie had been shocked to say the least, but he had shyly admitted to Steve that a part of him had not only suspected it might be him, but that he had hoped that it was him.

They talked for a while, clarified feelings and that Steve’s identity didn’t change anything, and then suddenly they were kissing.

And then suddenly they were doing a lot more than kissing.

They’d fallen asleep, spent and sated, in Steve’s bed with the promise of speaking more in the morning.

With the morning light streaming warm and golden through his windows, a contented smile curled at Steve’s lips as he slowly woke. He had rolled away in the middle of the night like he always does, spread along the edge of the bed like usual, though now with an arm dangling off in a subconscious move to be closer to the bat under his bed.

With a small and sleepy hum, Steve shifted slightly to turn his head towards Eddie and reached a hand out to settle on his chest…

And met an empty bed instead.

Steve’s brows puckered in a small confused frown, opening his eyes as he lifted his head to see the spot Eddie had been in the night before, only to see it very much missing the metalhead he had been crazy about for months now. The metalhead he had bared his soul to in letters ever since Nancy breaking up with him let him realize some truths about himself.

The metalhead he had trusted and let past his defenses and into his bed.

The ache in his core stopped feeling so pleasant.

Steve’s eyes darted around the room, trying to convince himself that maybe Eddie was just in the bathroom. That he hadn’t just left after getting what he wanted.

But the sheets beside him were cold, and Eddie’s clothes weren’t strewn over the floor anymore.

A pit began growing in Steve’s stomach. Everything that Steve had feared before last night came rushing, churning, back. He felt stricken, Eddie’s absence like a siren of warning.

He’d shown Eddie where he kept all of his letters. They had even gone over them the night before. There should have been at least a few strewn about. Except there wasn’t. Them and the box weren’t where he’d left them the previous night.

Eddie had taken his incriminating letters. Eddie had Ieft. Eddie had…

A sharp pain lanced through Steve as he sat up fully, and he couldn’t tell if it was physical or just his heart rending in two for the second time in less than eight month’s time.

Christ.

He really did fall fast and hard, didn’t he?

He only had himself to blame, really. He really did just bring this upon himself. He could have just accepted he was crushing on Eddie without writing him that first note, without opening his heart to the possibility (no, the guarantee of pain), without letting himself hope.

He was Steve Harrington. Billy might have taken the title of keg king, might have taken Tommy and others, but Steve was still considered desirable. He still had girls trying to fill the gap that Nancy left behind, still fluttered their eyelashes, still wanted to be on his arm at prom.

He was still It at school. Still popular, still rich, still a jock. Still privileged. He was still everything that Eddie had ever spoken out against. Everything Eddie always condemned. Everything Eddie hated.

The cold sheets, the empty room, the complete and utter lack of everything Eddie reassured him about were simply too obvious to ignore. Eddie was gone.

Steve knew he should be feeling dread. Eddie took all evidence of his own reciprocity, took away the thing that could condemn him as well. Maybe that had been his goal all along. And fucking over Steve—literally and figuratively—had just been an added bonus.

Eddie could tell everyone. Could reveal Steve as being a queer, could have him run out of town, if not worse. Or maybe he’d just tell his friends so they could have a laugh about how easily Former King Steve had spread his legs for another guy. For a freak at that. For the Freak.

Maybe he’d just blackmail him.

There were so many possibilities that could occur after last night. Yet, all Steve could feel was that same feeling he’d had standing in Tina’s bathroom and realizing that he would never be good enough. He would never be what others wanted him to be.

Never be anything more than what he was.

Steve collapsed back against the bed, wincing some in the privacy of his own room at another sharp spike of physical discomfort.

Honestly, it could have been worse, though. Eddie obviously hadn’t been lying when he’d said he’d never been with another dude before, and Steve had never had a chick be adventurous enough with him, so they kind of had to fumble into figuring things out. Even still, Eddie had been careful and slow. He could have rushed things, could have ignored Steve’s needs, but he didn’t.

Steve wondered if his notes were going to be plastered across the school on Monday. Just in time for graduation. Wondered if it would make Eddie feel better about not graduating this year either.

He couldn’t even fault Eddie, not really. Maybe if he had stood up to Tommy and Carol earlier, if he hadn’t been so complacent in life until he met Nancy and felt something other than the unending boredom he’d been plagued with all his life. Maybe if he had proven how much he had changed in something other than flimsy pieces of paper.

Flinging his arm over his eyes with a heavy sigh, Steve was just in the process of pushing every hurt feeling down, of knowing he had to come up with some sort of excuse for his exposed letters that didn’t put a target on Eddie’s back, when he heard a quiet thumping and rattling of chains.

“…fucking wallet, man,” Eddie was whispering to himself as he pushed the door open, obviously trying to be quiet and not wake up Steve. “So fucking stupid, how are you supposed to sneak out but leave your walle—you’re awake.”

Steve, who had removed the arm over his eyes to prop himself up on his elbows at Eddie’s entrance, could only watch as the older boy had dropped to his knees to try to find, presumably, his wallet. Eddie’s muttering, which had been quiet at first, rose to normal speaking volume in his surprise at meeting Steve’s eyes.

Eddie looked…embarrassed, a slight grimace spreading across his lips as he stood up, wallet successfully retrieved from beneath the bed where it must have been tossed after Eddie’s search for a rubber.

“You’re not supposed to be awake yet,” Eddie complained, a small, uncomfortable whine to his words.

Right.

The dude couldn’t very well sneak out if Steve was watching.

He tried to keep his face from crumpling, tried to keep the hurt off of his expression and out of his tone, and he was thankful that he wasn’t much of a crier. Because he rather felt like bursting into tears at the moment, if he was being quite honest with himself, his heart feeling like it was being ripped into two.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, tearing his eyes away from Eddie before he could see the other boy’s reaction. “I’ll just…we can pretend I’m still sleeping.” He offered a shaky smile before dropping back to the bed, rolling to his side and wrapping an arm under his pillow in a facsimile of sleep. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the retreating of footsteps.

Instead, after several moments of silence, they moved closer.

Instead, he felt the weight of a body sitting on the mattress at his hip, felt a warm hand settle almost tentatively on his lower back.

“Yeah? Gonna keep pretending to be my Sleeping Beauty, Harrington?” Eddie’s voice teased, and it should have been mocking, should have held all the animosity Eddie had to feel towards Steve but…it wasn’t. It didn’t. Instead, it was almost gentle, playful, maybe even…affectionate?

Despite himself, Steve frowned slightly and peeked his eyes open to look at Eddie, who instead of a sneer, had a smile on his lips. He barely had time to comprehend that when Eddie was leaning in and pressing those smiling lips lightly to his cheek in a brief kiss.

“Guess I just gotta keep kissing you until you wake up,” Eddie murmured, smile still in his voice, as he kissed Steve again, this time on his jaw. A finger hooked under Steve’s chin to tilt his head, allowing him to press the next kiss to his lips.

A shudder rippled through Steve at that moment, a small gasp leaving him, which the metalhead took advantage of. His tongue slipped inside Steve’s mouth, causing a soft moan to leave Steve as Eddie leaned in closer, kissing him deeper as Steve instinctively rolled onto his back, the taste of spearmint still coating Eddie’s tongue—

“Did you use my toothpaste?” Steve gasped for air, pushing Eddie away with both hands on his chest at the sudden realization. As well as the fact that his mouth had to taste sour with sleep in comparison.

Eddie pulled back with a slightly bashful look. “Well, and your toothbrush too.”

“Oh, gross, man! Haven’t you heard of germs?”

“Considering last night I had my tongue in your a—”

Steve hurriedly cut the metalhead off by placing both hands over his mouth, a pink tinge coating his cheeks at where Eddie was going with that. Eddie’s eyes just crinkled over Steve’s hands as he looked down at him, his smile evident against Steve’s palms. Only reluctantly did Steve let Eddie pull his hands away by the wrists, his own sliding over Steve’s until their fingers were tangled together.

“I’ll buy you a new one, princess, don’t worry.”

The words should have been mean. Should have been mocking. But “princess” had been what Eddie had called him in the letters when he still thought he was a girl. Had been what he’d called Steve last night so affectionately as he’d slid inside with whispers of reassurance.

Steve’s eyes burned. He swallowed, full of nervousness and confusion, of mitigated hurt, as he stared up at Eddie’s open expression. His fingers tightened on Eddie’s without thought. He didn’t want to say the words, but they were clogging his throat and he felt like he’d choke on them if he didn’t get them out.

“I thought you left,” he whispered, even as he cringed slightly at the flicker of emotion he couldn’t catch fast enough on Eddie’s face. Eddie’s earlier words burned in his chest. “You were trying to sneak out.”

Understanding bloomed on Eddie’s face, his muscles tensing for a moment, causing a spike of unease to puncture Steve’s chest. Because this? They’d talked about this. About how Nancy had left him after their first time, how he’d woken to a cold bed, how she’d begun pulling away from him after and how she never truly loved him.

Sure, she had a reason to pull away, and a part of him still thinks a part of her still blames him for Barb, but it wasn’t like he could tell Eddie any of that. It didn’t change the fact that Nancy had been pulling away from him and towards Jonathan since the start, however. Didn’t change the fact that Steve felt just the tiniest bit used in the way he’s always been used.

Was he just being used by Eddie too?

“Shit,” Eddie muttered under his breath to himself, which didn’t make Steve feel any better. Was he upset he’d gotten caught? Should Steve beg for him not to expose him through his letters? Should Steve just accept the inevitable like he always did?

Eddie released one of Steve’s hands to reach out and brush Steve’s hair off his forehead. A gentle smile settled on his features, even if he did look mildly embarrassed. “Yeah, you weren’t supposed to hear that, sweetness,” he murmured, his fingers still carding through Steve’s hair keeping the younger boy from spiraling too greatly at those words. “It was supposed to be a surprise. I wanted to be back before you woke up.”

Steve’s brows puckered slightly in confusion, though he smoothed them again when Eddie’s fingers lightly stroked over the ridges. “Be back?” he questioned, barely able to get the words out.

Still looking somewhat embarrassed, Eddie gave a small shrug with a crooked grin. “I was gonna go get you some breakfast,” he admitted. “I’m a terrible cook, so I was gonna buy something and bring it back to you for breakfast in bed.”

Breakfast in bed? For him?

Steve’s eyes widened slightly, staring up at Eddie as though he couldn’t believe what he was seeing, hearing, feeling. Eddie was staring at him so sweetly, his touch so gentle, like Steve was something precious to be cherished. Like he meant everything he wrote in those letters, everything he said last night. Everything he promised.

There were so many things he wanted to say in response to all that. He felt like he was a rollercoaster, every other word sending him into what felt like a free fall, praying that the harness that was Eddie Munson would keep him safe.

He’d woken up so sure of things, but just that brief moment of fingertips touching cool sheets had reawakened all the fears and insecurities he’d felt since Tina’s bathroom. No, since before that. Since waking up that first morning without Nancy, the first girl he ever had real feelings for and realizing that he was once more just a means to an end.

Steve pulled his other hand free from Eddie’s hold so that he could push himself up into a seated position, withholding a wince from the pain in his nether region now that he had an audience as he did so, wanting to be on a little more even footing. He stared at Eddie, looking for any sort of deceit, but the other boy just stared at him with mild worry, his dark eyes darting over Steve’s form.

Which reminded Steve that he was very much in the nude still.

Flushing slightly, though normally uncaring about nudity thanks to years in sports and locker rooms, Steve gathered the top sheet more firmly over his lap. Judging by Eddie’s slight smirk at the action, his reaction had to have been noticeable, causing Steve to scowl at Eddie. The older boy just grinned unrepentant.

“You look good first thing in the morning, princess. Can’t wait to see it more often,” Eddie purred in that voice he used last night as he thoroughly took Steve apart in the best way possible, even with all their fumbling as they tried to figure out how things worked with two dicks involved instead of what they were both more familiar with.

Steve, understandably, flushed more deeply.

“Yeah, Munson?” he murmured, trying not to let the flutter of hope cut up his insides even as a small smile peeked out on his lips. “You planning on seeing it again then?”

Eddie leaned forward, ducking his head slightly to look up at Steve through his bangs. “I’d see it every morning if I could, pretty boy.” A flicker of emotion, a guarded expression there and gone again, like maybe Steve wasn’t the only one unsure in this moment. “If you let me.”

If you let me.

Steve pushed his own insecurities down to really look at Eddie this morning. His eyes trailed over his pale skin, reddened at his neck in an unmistakable display of passion last night, the taste of Eddie’s skin still like a phantom on his tongue…

Eddie’s eyes were flickering back and forth between his, the corner of his bottom lip was drawn in between his teeth, and his fingers were flickering restlessly around the rings he had taken off last night before pressing those bare fingers into Steve. Eddie was sitting, tense on the edge of the bed, all while trying to play at being aloof.

Eddie was nervous too.

If you let me.

Eddie was nervous too.

Warmth bloomed in Steve’s chest because Eddie was plagued with insecurity, just like him. Eddie, who must fear that now that Steve has sated his curiosity, wouldn’t be interested in him anymore. Eddie who had never been with a boy before last night either. Eddie who had bared his everything to the person in the letters only for it to be none other than Steve Harrington.

Eddie who was so much more than Steve could have ever dared to hope for.

“Well,” Steve said on a breath. “That depends.”

“On what?” Eddie asked, one hand raising to nervously tug at his own hair.

“On if you’re okay with breakfast being a little late today.”

Eddie’s frown of confusion was quickly replaced by a laugh of joy as Steve reached out and pulled him closer, swallowing the laughter with his own smile as they reassured each other that this had never been a one-off thing, had never been a temporary joining out of curiosity or deceit.

Eddie’s clothes were slowly shed with reverence, and though Steve’s body was not yet ready to reciprocate all that Eddie had given him last night, Steve still showed Eddie all the love he had for him, basking in its return and the knowledge that, at least between them, it never had to be a secret again.

👑 💌 🎸

ps. Eddie gathered the letters up to keep them safe, also because he wanted to look over everything he’d said again to make certain he didn’t embarrass himself in them. Instead he just remembers all the naughty things he said he’d do to Steve and was unable to look at the handcuffs on his wall without blushing for an entire week.

Hostage Hotties (open):

@derythcorvinus @katyawriteswhump @scoops-aboy86 @dotdot-weirdlife @everywherenothere

@bumblebeecuttlefishes @hiei-harringtonmunson @estrellami-1 @nebulaoz @renfrisol

@tinyplanet95 @hairspraywhore

[elexuscal]

the longer i stay in fandom, the longer i think a huge amount of bad takes and discourse come from an... abundance of identifying with a character

to be clear, i don't think it's bad to identify with a character. far from it! i think that's part of what makes fiction so powerful.

and it's only logical people often attach to a blorbo because they're just like me, for real. a person will see some element of themselves-- their race, their gender, their sexuality, their hobbies, their family life, their specific flavour of neurodivergence-- and something just resonates. it gives them a way to explore and name this important part of themselves, a part they maybe didn't even know existed before it.

and everything is well and good until some split between them and the character shows up

because of course, no character, except an explicit self-insert written by yourself, will ever be a perfect 1:1 for your own experiences. so sooner or later-- maybe in canon, maybe in a fanwork-- your blorbo diverges from your lived experience in a huge way.

I think this is why shipping culture in particular gets so toxic. While it is by no means the only way to indulge with shipping, a significant portion is 'if i was in that character's shoes, i would choose X'. the fight becomes for your own self-identity.

but this gets expanded in other ways. a character who is revealed to be black when the majority of the fandom had just assumed they were white. or revealed to be queer, or maybe the 'wrong' flavour of queer. or fuck, even some more innocuous part of their backstory, one that's nonetheless so meaningful for SOMEONE, but now it feels like the story is saying, fuck you, we're doing something else

i don't know. i just feel acknowledging this perceived-attack-on-identity helps me understand why people react it what seems to be such outsized way to canon and fanworks alike.

at the same time, i think it's a really important thing to check in yourself.

it's nice, to see a character who you identify with. who resonates with for being like you. but it's also nice to acknowledge and appreciate the way characters are not like you at All. how great it is to get insight into this totally different lived experience. and to muse on how wonderful that recognition might be for someone who does have that background.