#or i just like the sound of spanish even though i still haven't found a way to learn spanish anyone got any tips?

[redhairedwolfwitch]

Question: will you ever do a part 3 for painting fires?

i want to, i really want to do a part 3, because every time i watch an episode of station 19, i fall more in love with andy herrera. my problem is that part 2 is set pre-season 17... R's brother is alive, Maya and Carina aren't married yet, i'd need to rewatch and bury myself in grey's and station 19... but I honestly might put it on the list after I finish binging law and order svu, i may or may not have been binging since the start of the year kinda, and am now over halfway through season 21? anyway, i'd love to write some more andy herrera x deluca!reader, i just need to figure out what part 3 is, since there's a few big plot points we haven't touched from the show yet👀

[chaosheadspace]

second chance dreamling 👀

Okay, so @beholdme infected me with the idea of Dreamling and a second chance relationship after having spectacularly fucked up their first try (maybe even their marriage, who knows). I really like thinking about it. The hurt. The care. What could have happened? What would both of them need to say "yeah okay, I wanna try this again? I also blame "Someday out of the blue" by Elton John.

Snip:

Hob is standing in the staff kitchen with his back to the door when he hears his colleague Julie chirp up, “Oh hello, I haven't seen you here before.”

Hob smiles. Julie is a good friend, and very competent in Spanish lit, but she's hopelessly clumsy in all things romantic (or even just flirty). And, sure enough—”I could stand to see you more often, though. Mind if I give you my number?”

Hob easily hides his snort with the sound of the coffee machine hacking up its probably last batch. It's been here as long as he has, and even back then it had been old. He'll miss it.

Hob sighs. He's been approaching fifty on paper, which is the furthest he can stretch his eternally set face. He's been putting grey in his hair and beard, and starts his day with a subtle makeup routine. One more year. He's already arranged to go to Australia for his next life, see a bit of the world. He needs some distance. Has needed some distance for the past twenty years, really, but back then he found he couldn't just pack it all up and chuck it away. Maybe he's been grieving. But it was time.

He's shaken out of his thoughts rather violently by the reply of the mystery person though.

“Julia Andrews, it would probably be advisable that you turn your misguided attention to the tea running over your wrist rather than myself.”

The deep rumble shakes Hob to his core, and he turns, hastily. He didn't think he'd hear this voice in the next three thousand years, at least. He faintly registers that Julie yelps, and then swears.

And sure enough, there, in the door of the kitchen he stands, like a photocopy out of Hob's memory, like a mirage, like a fever dream.

They haven't seen each other in twenty years. Twenty years since Hob has burned the brightest he's ever had, so sure he'd be consumed but instead of burning down they'd filled galaxies with new stars. Until, at last, it went to shit.

Hob looks, because he can't not, looks and looks at alabaster skin, at blue eyes, at feathery hair that he knows for a fact is as soft as a cloud, at a buttoned up coat that he's taken off of him countless times, at thin, pink lips he's kissed even more times. No. *NO*.

“Hello,” he says, carefully avoiding a name or any descriptor of their relationship. “I hope you're well.”

“Robert,” Dream says, curt and cold. Only *Robert*, not his supposed last name for this century, so Hob could mistake it for the courtesy of keeping his cover. Not Hob, as a friend would call him. *Robert*. The most distance Dream can put between them with outsiders present.

“There is something that slipped my mind, yet is of utmost importance,” he continues with the regality of a king, cold, so cold. Hob knows for a fact that there's warmth in him, and softness, deep down. But not for him, not anymore. “At the disagreement before our last recent one, I left something. It is vital that it is returned to me.”

Hob's stomach swoops. Dream's hat and gloves, left in haste and fury in 1889. The only tangible things Hob has ever had from Dream, still shiny and new as they had been then, still smelling of rosewater and rain and salt. Hob swallows.

“Of course,” he says, swallowing down a “my lord”, because Dream would definitely take it as mockery. “Of course.”

Hob takes a deep breath, fortifying himself. “As I'm sure you're aware, I'm not carrying them around, so you would have to come back later tonight. I'm home at about half past five, today.”

There's the little crease on his forehead, the displeased slant of his mouth. “I thought it possible that I might—”

“That you can just go into my flat and take them? No.” Hob interrupts. He's been working on this. With multiple therapists. *Boundaries*. He needs more boundaries. And even after twenty years of work, he's tempted into flinging it all out the window for him. Bugger. “I'm afraid you will have to wait.”

Dream sighs, put-upon and haughty. “Very well. I shall be at your door at half past five.” He turns and walks away without any kind of goodbye. Hob exhales through gritted teeth. He's fine. He's *fine*. He's lived with this kind of longing for literal centuries. Why can't he just let it go?

*Because you've had it, once,* his mind whispers, *because you're not sure that you're really done. Not sure you've really let go. Because you're not able—*

“Woof,” Julie comments, making Hob startle. “Bad past? Hey, I'm sorry for—”

“Don't worry,” Hob interrupts her, pushing his glasses up his nose. “It's long past and gone. Don't really know why he's turned up now.”

“Well, if you ask me, there's regret pouring out of every perfect pore of him,” she retorts. “Not that I'm—um—”

Hob laughs, self-deprecating, hurt twisting through his guts. “Can't be. Believe me. Not him.”

Julie shrugs and takes her mug. “Have it your way. I'm gonna go and bash some Spanish into the minds of twenty seven unwilling undergrads.”

“Good luck,” Hob calls after her, his mind spinning with the same questions—why now? And why at all?

[chiyuumiii]

NIGHTFALL || PART 2

Earth-42 Miles Morales/F!Reader

[TAGS: Prowler Miles Morales, Miles Morales, Miles G. Morales, Female Reader, Fluff, Just Pure Fluff, Cuddles and Love, Morning Kisses, Sleepy Kisses, Forehead Kisses, Prowler Miles sneaks in through your bedroom window and cuddles with you hehe, Vigilante, Miles saves you from a bunch of ew creepy men, Secret Relationship, Secret Love]

Note: TW: Mentions of harassment, slight drugs, Google Translated Spanish, Bad/Decent Writing, Typos, Grammatical Errors!

Point it out if I missed something <3 Thank you!

This is part 2 of a fic! Check my blog to read the first part if you haven't &lt;3

He begrudgingly climbed up on your roof, lifting himself up by your windowsill. Though, it was difficult to see you from the moist coating of the panes. He sighed softly, he held onto the heel of the roof and sat, glancing over at the sky as he took sight of its beautiful dark hues. He silently took a break from his vigilante duties, with only the wind howling in his ears soothing all his injuries.

He left after a short while as he noticed the sky getting brighter by the minute, returning back to his own room, slipping through the window and putting his gear back in secure places.

You were completely oblivious of his visit to your place.

Honestly, he just wanted to make sure you got home safe and sound. But it might've been more than that, y'know?

The Prowler has a heart, too.

♡♡♡

You yawned sleepily, rubbing your eyes and blinking rapidly, glancing over at your plugged phone, only to realize, the cord came off, yay!

“I'm such a fucking dumbass..” You groaned, you checked its battery percentage, 42 percent.

“That can do, I guess.” You sighed, sitting on the edge of your bed and scrolling through your phone like you always do. 

You noticed a news article on a website, discussing The Prowler, the image on the thumbnail showed the vigilante that rescued you the night before. You never knew that was his alias, since he didn't bother to tell you last night.

You clicked on the link, intrigued by it. Scrolling through, you found out more about him, I guess he wasn't much of a vigilante, seeing as his criminal records involved…some things. But he still cares about citizen safety. Looks like his mom raised him well.

You plugged your phone, getting up and walking over to the bathroom to wash your face, gently applying some skincare products on it and rinsing it, then wiping your face.

“Hey.” A voice rumbled behind you, you flinched, looking at the mirror and turning around, it was The Prowler.

“What- How did you get in?! HOW DID YOU EVEN FIND MY HOUSE?!” You leaned up against your sink, a little frightened. You were befuddled by him.

“You don’t need to know,” He sighed, trying to sound heedless. “I just wanted to say I’m glad you got home safely last night.” He uttered inside of his mask, arms crossed over his chest.

“Yeah- Thanks…” You smiled sheepishly, though still in confusion and curiosity. “So…Are you gonna do anything else besides just stand there menacingly?” You chuckled nervously, raising your head slightly upward to see his mask.

You heard a soft sigh escape his lips, shaking his head before turning back to you. “I’ll leave now.” He exited your bathroom, slipping out through the window.

You watched him leave, curious about his identity and his true behaviour, walking over to the bed and sitting on the edge of it, staring at the window he left through.

You walked over to that window, gazing over at the morning sky above.

“That was…something.” You felt a smile paint onto your face involuntarily, a soft hue of pink visible on your cheeks. You then mentally shook it off and closed the window, locking it up securely and proceeding with your morning routine.

After that incident last night, you had to stay home. You couldn't bear going through that again, even if Prowler will be there, there's also a high chance he wouldn't.

You crawled up to your bed, scrolling at endless, repetitive posts on social media, it was boring…You had wished that vigilante would've stayed here much longer…

PART 3 SOON WAAAAH

[crazylittlejester]

Got slammed into a fatigue wall so I'm lying in bed and thinking again. :>

I spent a few hours yesterday translating a Skyward Sword fic from English (American) to Portuguese (Brazilian) and I think it turned out okay. (It's probably also half the reason I'm so drained right now but I'm ignoring that.) I swear I have a point I'm trying to make, but it's going to take a few roundabouts to get there.

I've been doing Fic Rec Friday, and I think people like it. I like it, anyway. I've got way too many bookmarks and people keep writing new things, and I think it's fun to look through what I've read during the past month or so and pick something to showcase for the week. I've got a format figured out after a little bit of trial and error and I'm happy with it.

Back to translating. I'm not very good at it because I'm still learning. I haven't taken composition class yet, which is a whole other side tangent, so I'll stop there. But the point is I'm wondering if maybe I should post the links to what I've translated here in a similar format to how I've been posting Fic Rec Friday. I highly doubt many people would read them since there's like... 5 LU fics in total if you put the French and Spanish translations together. And I'm also self-conscious because I'm practically glued to my ENG-POR dictionary at this point. But it's a thought.

Which sort of leads to my next thought being whether or not I should go back to posting the fics I've written here or not. I was posting the Whumptober fics during October but I stopped doing that once the event ended even though I'm still chugging through. I'm definitely doing something to celebrate getting to the end once I finish.

All that to say, I'm not 100% sure what I want to do. I know I want to organize things again (the brain demands it), I'm just not sure if people mind seeing my Ao3 posts of dubious quality. I have more confidence in other people than I do myself, I guess.

Either way, don't feel like you have to give me advice, I just wanted to get my thoughts out there on the topic in case someone else was thinking about the same things. You're always really kind and empathetic and willing to listen to literally anything, too.

PS: I am planning to work on an EAH & LU crossover AU thing once I get myself together.

Okay first of all it’s really cool that ur translating fics. That sounds like a lot of work, but it’s so cool and like damn, good for you dude that’s awesome

Second: I LOVE UR FIC REC FRIDAY, i think we as a fandom should recommend more fics, i love when people share stuff they like and ive found a lot of awesome stuff that way! Plus it’s always fun to talk to people about really good fics :)

If you do decide to post ur fics on here that’d be really cool, I dunno if you mean like whole fics or just ao3 links or a combo of both, but i think that’d be nice to see em. I love opening tumblr and seeing people share their writing, and even if i cant read it right then, i almost always save it to come back to later :)

I’ll always listen to anything people say, and while I may not be the greatest at giving advice, i’ll try my best!! and if anyone else has any thoughts on this im sure they’ll leave a comment of some sorts

(i look forward to the au whenever you get around to it!!)

[bisonaari]

Rambling about the finnish language because I have thoughts. They probably won't make a lot of sense, but it's mostly for me hahaha

First of all if you haven't downloaded the app Drops, you should!! It's super fun to learn vocabulary so far, and the interface is soooo cute!! Idk how effective it is on the long term, but it can't hurt to practice more hahaha.

Then this should have actually been first but whatever lol. I'm having so much fun learning the language. I hadn't felt that since I started learning japanese in 2006, and I've tried maaaaany more languages since then lol. I'm genuinely looking forward to my duolingo everyday! Every time I understand a new word in a song or an interview or something it's like my brain has solved a new puzzle and the SEROTONIN I SWEAR

Finnish has started to sound familiar for me now? Like earlier today I was watching an estonian/finnish comparison video and when the guy started speaking estonian I was like "oh yeah I def recognise the intonation and a few words, but that's it". Then the other guy started speaking finnish and my brain had a moment of "OH!! I know this!!! This is our stuff!!" Like I don't even feel that with spanish, and my spanish is better than my finnish by a LONG shot lmao. (It's still shit though I'm like three years old toddler level lol)

Idk I wanted to say something else but I'm just so so so happy a a a a a

OH YEAH also I'm a dumb fuck and since my third language is japanese I've hard-wired myself into pronouncing stuff the japanese way every time a language is nor english nor french, and it PISSES ME OFF. Because I KNOW how to pronounce the sounds but my brain is like oh did you mean [japanese sound] lemme fix that for you NO I KNOW WHAT I MEANT LET ME SAY WORDS GDI

So here is a list of stuff that I need to deprogram

from japanese

U pronounciation. In japanese, u is like a y/u mix and it's so hard to undo once you start doing it URGH

Soft-rolled r. Rolling r hard is kinda bad manneers in Japan so I never really forced myself to do it

L/R confusion. Since it's the exact same sound for both in japanese sometimes I just L my R or roll my L it's so silly hahaha

From french

T/D stridulation. It's pronouncing t as ts and d as dz instead of a hard t or d. It's only found in quebec french and it took me A BILLION YEARS to learn when I moved here, and now I have to undo it???

Ä/A distinction. Already said it, but it's more of a matter of accent in french so I need to stop using them interchangeably

Learn to fucking read y/u and ö/o GDI BISON IT'S NOT HARD

Stress of the first syllable. Almost impossible for a french speaker BUT I SHALL PERSEVERE

From both:

THERE IS NO GENDERED PRONOUN IN FINNISH STOP THINKING ABOUT IT THEY DO NOT EXIST STOPPPPPP

Thank you for reading my scrambled mind lol. I'm training for another department at work and it's a lot of info so my brain is about to leak from my ears, and it shows in my writing lmao

[cubur]

Hi Cubur♡♡, I would like to be able to give you a hug and be able to be your friend so I can listen to everything you have to say, please don't stay silent, if you need to say something, don't hold back. I'm one of the anons who long ago told you "you are the first Naruto artist I have ever met" and the truth is that I think you are an incredible person, your art always makes me happy and I love how you manage to capture all the emotions of the ship and the characters. You also sometimes remind me of Sasuke, such a magnificent and good character to whom many bad things happened, but although he often wanted to do things alone, he still had Naruto who was never going to leave him. I hope one day you find your Naruto. I want you to know that there are many people who love you, many people who you make happy, maybe not all of us know you but I know that if I did I wouldn't be disappointed because you are a good person, with deep thoughts, you seem like someone who likes to look out the window and think about life, that is, you are someone super interesting. And I also wanted to tell you that many times I have felt sad, I have even come to think that without me the world would not change or that maybe they would miss me but that after a while they would forget about me, but then I found my Naruto or rather my Guy since I'm more like Kakashi, but thanks to that person and other things that I later realized, I decided to study Psychology, this way I can help others like they helped me. If I had the appropriate knowledge I would also help you but the truth is that I speak Spanish and my English is not very good, and I would also be afraid to tell you something that is not since I'm still studying. So as an anonymous friend I wanted to tell you that you also helped me in sad moments, and without you realizing it, that's why I feel that many times help comes from anywhere and that even the smallest things can save our lives.

Sorry for writing so much, I hope I haven't bothered you, thank you for all your effort, te quiero♡ and please don't let your light go out

Hi there！ Well, I just don't know what to say right now… Since I'm usually the one who writes such long articles, it seems a bit strange to receive a message like this now ^^;！

(sorry this will be a bit long)

First of all, I sincerely appreciate that you're thinking so positively about me. I'm not sure if you'd still think that way if you knew me in real life though… I mean i'm actually quite a regular person contrary to what you guys think. Hmm (probably not everyone thinks about committing suicide or deleting everything every day) so yea, maybe not so regular…… But sure that I'm not as great as you guys think. Look I can't even solve my personal/emotional problems by keeping my mouth shut. Why is it so hard to keep going when it's so easy to leave everything? Idk… But still, it feels good now to hear that even someone like me made someone happy！I know very well what this feeling is like *since i'm still someone's fan* So I'm glad i can still make someone feel this way！I mentioned earlier that i feel closer to Sasuke's character. But I can never imagine i have a personality like Sasuke, not that strong pls x) …or maybe we can be the same in terms of psychological. I mean i could probably lose my mind too if i lost my loved ones. Yes, I often get messages like this, "you can write me if you need someone, I can listen you, don't be silent, tell me, trust me" etc. And I would like to talk to you guys but…… my problem is I have a really difficult time trusting people, and when I do, i don't even want to share them with others. This goes for everyone I love …even my pets. I know how selfish that sounds. But I accidentally read a turkish quote about this today. "Uçarken görüp uçmasına aşık olduğunu, sevdin diye kafese koyma". So if I can translate it right, it says "Don't put it in a cage just because you saw it flying and fell in love with its flight". I have no right to do this i know, that's why i'm trying to change myself though it's hard. Maybe if I take some healthier steps about communicating, my psychological state will start to improve, even if it is a little bit, who knows. Gotta start somewhere…

Oh but everyone wants a Naruto in their life, right?? Well, no one knows what the future will bring to us. Yes we are all hope for something about our future, but those things may not be the right path for us (even if we don't know it), so over time obstacles will come our way that we cannot prevent even if we wanted to, and eventually we will realize sooner or later that we are in a dead end, and need to change our path …in the most painful way. About me, I still don't know if i'm in the decision stage yet… But at least now I know that when things start to get clearer, I'll accept them without questioning why.

Just, you don't know how much I appreciate your willingness to help me. So thank you for all your kind thoughts here and taking the time to write me all this！I'm grateful！！🙏

And ok, this is not a promise but, I'll keep running as much as i can to avoid losing that little light at the end of the tunnel…

[self-loving-vampire]

I can't remember what the very first anime I watched was at all but I do know that during my childhood - before I even started going online to find stuff and relied on whatever was on Salvadoran TV - I saw at least a couple of episodes of the following.

Dragon Ball (original, Z, and GT).

I didn't like DBZ nearly as much as everyone else in Latin America seemed to. A lot of the fights felt not only slow but also kind of mechanically uninteresting.

Cardcaptor Sakura.

I surprise myself by feeling this nostalgic over such a cute and soft show. It's very different from what I normally like. I guess even I have a softer side sometimes (@thirteen-jades this is not an invitation to forcefem me).

Corrector Yui.

I have very few memories of this show. It was about an internet magical girl or something? I want to rewatch it sometime.

Ranma 1/2.

My parents explicitly forbid me from watching this, so of course I did it anyway when they were not around. They really didn't like the idea of a character who could transform like that. I only watched this one pretty early on before scheduling made it difficult to even find so I had only vague memories of it prior to a rewatch I started with my girlfriend.

Pokemon.

I got into Pokemon before anyone at my school knew what that was. I remember that much. I was more of a casual fan (could not play the games for the longest time since my parents thought games Encouraged Vice) and only watched the anime for a while before falling off eventually.

She was great, though:

Sailor Moon.

I have memory gaps about this one as well. Pretty sure I watched less than 10 episodes total, out of order. I think it was on a channel I didn't really know the schedule of, and at the very least I'm pretty sure it wasn't the same one that had most of the other shows on this list.

Digimon (all series up to and including Frontier).

I know they're not really comparable but I think I preferred the designs in Digimon over the ones in Pokemon. Also, I distinctly remember that this scene in particular poked at my ryona and defeat kink before I even knew what sex was:

Monster Rancher.

What the hell even happens in this show? I remember some of the monsters but absolutely nothing about the events of even a single episode. All my memories of it are just gone.

Yu Yu Hakusho.

Felt way more interesting and varied than DBZ to me, and I also found the characters to be more appealing in lots of ways. Still only remember it vaguely, though.

Rurouni Kenshin (oof).

In hindsight the fact that Soujiro was my favorite character makes me eventually becoming a Kohaku kin kind of predictable. Anyway, I think this was one of my favorites and also a good source of fuel for my growing ryona kink. Love shows where attractive men injure each other so viscerally (one of them even gets a chunk of his shoulder bitten off in a major fight).

Unfortunately, the creator completely sucks in such a way that also makes parts of the show feel hollow now.

Mon Colle Knights.

Only vague memories of this one too. It was decently cute, I guess?

Saint Seiya.

The Latin American dub of this is actually so much better than either the English dub or the European Spanish dub it almost feels unfair. Even the opening sounds about as good as the original, and I say this as someone who generally thinks Spanish is an ugly language with bad vibes. No wonder it seems way more popular in Latin America relative to the US.

Cyborg 009.

It was okay, I think? Not really into that older style of cyborg design. I can barely remember much else.

Yu-Gi-Oh! (only the original series at that time).

Like with Pokemon, I was into this before it became big in my area. I haven't forgotten nearly as much about it as I have with many of the other things on this list either. Especially where the first season is concerned I'd say I remember everything reasonably well (obviously not the turn-by-turn details of every duel or anything but yeah).

I notice that with a lot of the shows on here the main draw for me really was just seeing all the cool monsters, but I did come to enjoy the game and just the sincere insanity of the setting too. I also now associate this with master and Past Me.

Duel Masters.

Mimi was kind of cute. I liked her outfit. The show itself was... kind of weird, to be honest. It's one of those shows where the dub was basically a joke (more so in English, though).

Captain Tsubasa.

Those guys can get really intense about football. Can't remember much other than an episode where a guy is trying to overcome a fear of being hit by the ball or something? Pretty sure I only watched this one when I was stuck somewhere where I could not watch or do much else.

Plus some others I am also failing to remember. Genuinely kind of distressing how hazy my memories of these things are.

[lucy90712]

Can you do a cafe meet cute with cuddles with Pedro Acosta ? Much apreciated!

When my parents told me we were going on holiday to the south of Spain I was excited but since we've gotten here all we have done is gone to the beach which is nice but I want to go and explore as we are in such a beautiful area. Today I'm going to do just that as last night I told my parents that I was going out for the day and I woke up early this morning to make the most of the day. The first thing I wanted to do was go and get coffee and some breakfast at a cafe I've seen when we walked to the beach as it looks really cute and it's always quite busy so it must be good. On my walk I took in the scenery properly as I haven't had the chance to properly look around Murcia even though it's such a beautiful place. If I could I'd stay here forever but sadly at some point our holiday will end and I'll have to go back home. 

Once I reached the cafe I read the menu outside for a moment as I didn't want to embarrass myself by standing in there for ages trying to work out what everything was. Eventually I worked out what I wanted and headed inside to order. I fully expected them to ask me to pay first as that's what usually happens when I'm at home but they told me to stand to the side and wait for my order to be ready which took me by surprise but I went and stood next to the one guy waiting. While I waited I looked through my phone and got engrossed texting my friend as the other guys order was called and then mine which is when I put my phone away to go and pay. As I walked up the barista handed me my drink and the pastry I ordered for my breakfast but then she began to walk away.

"Excuse me I need to play for these still" I said 

"The guy before paid for yours as well so you are all good" she replied 

That took me by surprise but I thanked the barista anyway and headed to find a seat and see if the guy was still around so I could thank him. I took a quick look around and saw the guy sat in the back corner on his phone which made me a little nervous to go and talk to him in case I interrupt him but I wanted to thank him and it's not like I'm going to see him again so I made myself go and do it. As I walked over he looked up and smiled at me which made me even more nervous especially as I actually looked at him for the first time and he was actually really cute. 

"Hi thank from for paying for me you didn't have to do that" I said 

"Don't worry about it it's my pleasure, you can join me if you like" he said 

"Are you sure I don't want to bother you" I said 

"No it's fine just sit" he encouraged and so I did 

He reached over and pulled out the chair opposite him for me to sit down which I did and then we got to talking so I could learn more about the stranger I found myself sat with. First he told me his name was Pedro and then I found out he is my age which was good to know as it meant he really is just a nice guy and probably not some weirdo trying to get my attention. We continued to get to know each other and he told me that he was from this area so he gave me some good place to go to. As it turns out Pedro is a really lovely guy he was happy to sit and listen to me and wait for me to try and figure out how to say what I wanted to in Spanish as I'm not fluent. We got to know each other quite well before Pedro offered to give me a bit of a tour of the area which wasn't in my plans but I couldn't say no as I'm sure he knows more than I do plus spending more time with Pedro sounds quite nice. 

We walked towards the main square together and Pedro pointed out some good places to go to eat which I tried to remember but I still probably forget some. As we got into the square some people came up to Pedro asking to take pictures which really confused me and to begin with I thought I'd misunderstood what they said but when they got their phones out I realised I was right. I ended up taking the pictures while wondering if I had accidentally met someone who's famous is Spain without me knowing. Once the people left Pedro tried to just move on but I just stood looking at him wanting at least some sort of answer as to why those people wanted pictures with him as that not just a normal thing for most people.

"I'm guessing you want to know why that happened" he said 

"It would be nice" I replied 

"Well I race motorbikes which is a pretty big sport over here so sometimes people recognise me" he explained 

"Thats really cool I'm going to need you to tell me more now" I said 

I think he could tell I wasn't going to let this go easily as he suggested we go and sit on the beach and he'd explain more and show me some pictures so I practically ran down to the sand to find somewhere quiet to sit. Pedro laughed at how eager I was but I didn't care as I just wanted to know more about him as now I think there's more to him than he was letting on. He quickly got out his phone and showed me some pictures of him from race weekends and in most of them he had a trophy so I knew he was good at what he does. Then he showed me some pictures from when he won what he called the moto3 world championship which he then explained was the lowest class in Grand Prix racing. It took some explaining but eventually I worked out how this whole racing thing worked and when it all made more sense I was able to understand just how good Pedro actually was to be at the level he is at his age. We watched some clips of him racing and I was just in awe as they just go so quick and some of the gaps they go through seem impossible to make work. 

It was just amazing watching him race so if I get nothing else from this holiday I will definitely be watching racing more often. I could've sat watching clips for hours but instead the two of us got up and walked along the beach for a bit enjoying the warm weather as there isn't enough of it where I'm from. I was having so much fun that I almost forgot that I'd only met Pedro this morning as it felt like we'd known each other for years and were catching up but we'd actually only been talking for a few hours. He was just such a nice guy and I could tell that there wasn't a bad bone in his body which made me feel completely comfortable walking around and spending time with what others would consider a stranger. 

After walking around for a while Pedro asked if I'd like to go back to his for a drink and some food as it was well past lunchtime. Most people would probably not go through with an offer like that but I trust Pedro so I said yes which was definitely the right decision as when I did he jokingly promised he wouldn't kidnap me. The walk wasn't too long but it probably took us longer than it should've as we were laughing and joking so much but it was fine as we made it eventually. When we went in Pedro went and made us some lunch which I tried to help with but he didn't let me so I just ended up sat on one of the kitchen counters watching. In the end I made him agree to let me do the washing up so I did that while he finished plating up the food and then we went to sit down together.

After lunch Pedro and I kept talking until it was starting to get late and I should be heading back to my hotel before my parents think I've actually been kidnapped. I really didn't want to leave as I've really enjoyed my day with Pedro but at some point it always had to come to and end. He offered to walk back to my hotel with me seeing as it was getting late and so we went together but neither of us were as talkative as we have been all day. The fact that this day was coming to an end seemingly upset both of us as not only were we more quiet than usual but we were both purposely walking slow so we could spend more time together. Eventually we reached my hotel and both just stopped outside not saying anything. 

"How much longer are you here for?" Pedro asked breaking the silence 

"Until the end of the week" I replied 

"Promise me we'll see each other again before then I'll give you my number just text me whenever you're not doing anything" he said 

"I promise I'll text you" I said 

With that he gave me his phone number and pulled me into a hug to say goodbye which I didn't want to end but it did and I had to go inside to explain where I'd been all day. 

~~~~~~~~~

Five years later 

Finally after having moved a few days ago I have finally got to the last box which I'm very glad about as I'm absolutely exhausted after working on unpacking for a few days straight. Just as I dragged the last box so I could sit on the sofa to go through it the front door opened making me jump slightly. Straight away I hauled myself off the sofa and headed to the door where I was met with the sight of my wonderful husband Pedro who had just got back from a training session at the gym. Once he noticed me stood there he quickly put his things away before coming over and pulling me into a hug before leaning back to kiss me. After he had greeted me his hands made their way to my stomach so he could greet our baby who I'm currently 6 months pregnant with. 

"So what have you been up to today?" He asked 

"I've almost finished unpacking there’s just one box left which I just opened before you got home" I replied 

"That's great but remember you have to take it easy I don't want anything happening to you or baby" he said 

"I know I've been taking breaks and I've done as much as I can from the sofa" I reassured him 

"Good now let me help you with the last box" he said 

We walked to the sofa together or more like he walked and I kind of waddled as my bump is starting to get in the way a bit more now. Pedro fully opened up the box and started pulling random things out which he put to the side until he picked up something that brought back so many memories. He was holding a framed picture which we never had up in our last place but it was of the two of us from the week we met while I was on holiday in Spain. It was taken a few days after we'd first met when Pedro joined me at the beach with my family. The picture was one that my parents took of the two of us messing around together and at the time they told me to keep hold of the picture which I didn't understand but now I get it they could just tell where the future was heading. It was funny to think that back then we didn't even know if we'd ever see each other again yet here we are married in our new house with a baby on the way. 

Next Pedro pulled out a photo album which has pictures from throughout our relationship in it. We went through it together looking at pictures from our first date, the first race I ever went to, the day he asked me to marry him, our wedding and lastly a few pictures of the positive pregnancy tests I had and our first ultrasound. Seeing our relationship laid out perfectly in a set of photos nearly made me cry as it made me realise just how much we've done together as I don't often think about how we got to this point in that much detail. I did start crying when Pedro handed me a plane ticket which sounds silly but it's so much more than that. It's the plane ticket Pedro used to come and visit me as a surprise a few weeks after I'd gone back home because he realised he liked me and he wanted to do something before anyone else could. That's not what made me cry though as much as it's cute it's the fact that he kept the plane ticket this whole time. 

"I can't believe you kept this" I said 

"Why would I not this plane ticket was how we got here today it means a lot to me" he said 

"Thats so sweet" I said 

"I can't believe how much has happened in the last 5 years it's hard to believe that if one of us had just gone to the cafe a few minutes earlier or later we wouldn't be here today" Pedro reflected 

"I'm so glad everything happened the way it did though as I couldn't be happier" I said 

"Me too I can't imagine a life without you" he said 

[ladyazulina]

August 11th

So, uhm... Hi.

I'm not feeling Imposter Syndrome, I swear.

I'm just... down.

I went to sleep late last night wanting to make a post about wanting to be part of the Spoiler Game that I was seeing around, thinking on the characters and the novels I will line up for easy choosing and making it a bit more like "info that wasn't going to end on the final draft but not really sure about that because not all of them are even in writing stage".

It sounded funny in my mind, I swear.

If you're following me around, you can notice I didn't make such post. I don't know if I chickened, if I let myself go down, or if I was just genuinely distracted. The point is that the post doesn't exist. And may still not exist.

Though it felt so fun in my head.

I don't know, I don't want the interaction to define my participation, but sometimes I can't help it. I don't want the few people that are interacting with me to feel forced to interact with that post due to this.

I think some part of that is defined in the Imposter Syndrome or something, I'm not even going to look for it.

I'm also in a mental rearranging of my Patreon tiers. Taking advantage that I have no one patronizing me yet. First I thought of doubling it so there will be one in English and the same one in Spanish, but I don't want to divide more my future community by language, that's a barrier that I want to knock down, though that mentality doesn't if inside that tier I made one publication in English and that same one in Spanish. I'm feeling dumber the more I think about it.

What I was thinking was about dividing my projects into those tiers. Right now my writing there is divided according to its content (short, long, fluff, +18, raw, edited, etc) so every project will be basically everywhere and everyone would be able to see at least something about all projects. If I do what I'm thinking on, every project will be in a specific tier.

I don't know if it will be better. I don't know if it will be worse. I have no patrons to ask.

Wanted to try Ream, but that's out of the map until Stripe includes my country.

And I'm really out of viable options to advertise my stories. In the same way I don't feel good marketing myself, I feel about marketing my writing.

I want to believe that people will find me anyway.

Well, enough of the talk.

I thought I wasn't going to, but I'm happy to say that I

Worked in: AngelDemon. Words written: 1.392.

I'm a bit ahead of the half point of the old work, but I'm still two chapters short of what I was expecting to be the half. Maybe the story will be shorter than estimated. Maybe not. I really can't tell, but I'm not even have half (I think I do have half though) outline and I feel it short. I don't want a short story here. But we will see.

I also

Worked in: Iron Valley (Linney’s Campaign). Words written: 9.

wanted to edit this post (not edited here yet) because when I read it I noticed a few little mistakes. I still believe there's one I haven't found yet, but I'm not going to force myself. I wasn't in it for it when I did it, so... I will take a look at it later.

My head is also trying to think about how to edit my info in Twitch, there's something I want to change, but I still don't know how or what. I passed part of the day playing along it... mentally.

Anyway.

Total words: 1.401. Lower daily goal: 100 ✅ Higher daily goal: 300 ✅

I hope to not make a habit to come this late. It can be draining and time-consuming if I'm not careful. I don't want to bump into my schedule and night routine, but I do like coming to talk in these little talks. I guess is really good for my mental health.

Tagging: @aziz-reads

[sunflowerfoxboy-unused]

Hi, I am Micaela (at least that's the name my parents gave me), and I am not sure about literally anything related to my identity. I'm not very sure about how this works, but I thought you may be able to help(?

Ok first of all I'm afab and even though I don't feel really disphoric ab my body, I do feel a little uncomfortable when people call me "mujer", for example (I live in a spanish speaking country).

I got to think that I maybe could be an nb person, but it still felt a little weird. I haven't discarded it yet, though, since it could be bc I'm not used to the idea.

(Could you please do a pronoun check with the name Mica and pronouns they/them? Some facts about myself: I am really passionate about music in general, but I more specifically really enjoy singing and listening to whatever I feel like listening at the moment. I also love reading and literature in general, though I don't really have the time to focus on this. I do not like running or swimming (like, at all), but I've been trying to lear a little swimming bc ik it's important. Whst else can I say... I have three dogs and they are sooo cute. Um, please mention me as a nonbinary person. I hope that's enough info lol.)

I also thought that I may be just a cis woman who wants to be smth else to make herself interesting (which is pretty sad), but idk.

I even got to consider that I might be a man, but they've got me a little traumatized and it's just really hard to even imagine myself as one (I'm just talking about my personal experience, but still I'm sorry if I made anyone feel ofended on any way).

I don't usually feel comfy wearing very femenine clothes, but sometimes I feel like it so I put on a cute outfit and go somewhere wearing it, and then regret doing it after some minutes. But this could ALSO not have anything to do with gender, so as you can see I'm a confused pile of teenager material. Help me please.

My sexual orientation is a whole mystery as well, but that woul make this way too long, so I'm just gonna sent it like this and, yeah.

Oh I would also appreciate if you could make some more pronoun checks for me, with the same info than the one above but changing a few things :)

1- the one above

2- changing the pronouns for she/they but keeping it nb

3- same as #2 but with she/her

4- same but with he/him

5- same but with he/they

6- keeping they/them but using whatever genders you think might suit me (on different paragraphs please)

7- the same as #6 but with she/they

8- same but with she/her

9- same but with he/him

10- same but with he/they

11- changing the gender to a girl

12- everything again but with Micaela instead of Mica (I'm sorry), and if you can think of a similar name that would sound good in spanish please tell me as well (it's not necessary to make more pronoun checks with that variation, I'm not that mean).

Okay sorry those are a lot of requests, feel free to take your time.

Of course, I will link some feminine/female genders, that I am not sure are in spanish, feel free to check them out!

Mica came by and told me they are non-binary, I didn't know so I asked them about and Mica was very nice. They also use they/them now, so please remember that

I told them she owed some guy money, but they asked me if he was against non-binary people. I realized Mica was scared. I went for them and helped her come out to a random guy. Starts are starts!

Mica got her new coat! She planned she write some poems on it. I told her to just be calm and write as a start, she also showed me some nice art she found. It has non-binary stuff, and I think she is non-binary?

He has a nice voice, also I heard that he goes by Mica, so I need to update his biography. He doesn't know I'm writing his non-binary life to help progression. With his premission.

Mica has made some nice music with me, he has this voice and I told them I know some cello. We made a nice poem-like song, but he wants to try more. Just drabbles, but they could make a career out of it.

6a. They are a demigirl, I asked Mica what is demigirl? They just said that it's when one is part girl or part feminine. They helped me a lot with some other stuff, but Mica is also feeling better. Not so feverish.

6b.They are making a story about paragirls like themself, and I feel like Mica is doing well. They are making me realize I may not be demigender, but I didn't tell them. Maybe later I'll tell Mica?

7a. She got some nice stuff, but I saw a demigirl flag and they shooshed me out? I won't tell her parents, I know they may not like it. I know Mica thinks your safe. Yea, Mica, I was talking about her the whole time.

7b.They came and said that she uses paragirl now, so I know they are ok with stuff like that. She has some knowledge on me, but how much do they know? Mica knows I'm trans and that's it? I should tell her I'm queer too!

8a.I saw her play piano, and she made the song sound like she was saying demigirl, which is her gender right? Anyway, I know she uses she/her, so I'm safe with pronouns. Mica use any new names?

8b.I know she has a dog, but I saw two dogs! Did she get a new dog or did the coming out make me forgot the color of them? Oh, she has 3 dogs. Ok, also Mica told me to tell you she a paragirl.

9a.He got some ncie heels, he told me to get him a newspaper? I think he is watching news more, wait wait, he told me he would make a letter about demigirls like him with newpapers. Mica is just a smart demigirl eh?

9b.I swore I saw him dancing to some song, he should dance more. I know where he is makes him worried, but Mica is missing out. Being a paragirl probably brings problems when girls vs boys comes up, but he could figure it out right?

10a.They have a new skateboard, and he made sure to paint it demigirl colors, which sound nice as frick. They asked if wanted him to paint me one but I don't mind. Mica does enough for themself alone!

10b.I got him, Mica by the way, a new dog sweater. They always want me to make them some, and I do get free dog pictures of the his cute dogs, but I want Mica to learn so I get them for free.

11a.She is just a girl with a hecking voice, I want Mica to get choir classes, but they say no. I respect her choice like their everything, but I am wanting to push this on her.

11b.I gave her a good, time. Made sure she felt like the girl she was. I learned she liked music so I got her some singers stuff. She also is getting some books soon from me.

11c.I told them that they are what they say, but they have been worried about over phone stuff. I think they said they want people to call them a girl and use they/them? I didn't have time to help them.

11d.He got a new book, and he said he has his dogs learning some words. I taught his dogs 'girl' and that Mica was a good girl, so they understood he was. Mica is nice to his dogs.

11e.I made sure they had fun, he got called a girl but they say it's ok, so maybe he is fine with girl? I want to wait until they comfirm it but just a update on him.

For 12 I decided to make a few paragraphs, no gender mentions. I hope it works in place for time for use both!

She got a new name, Micaela, and I know she will make it sound nice! I think she also spells it with a c, not a k, so be careful when spelling her name.

They have a letter written to a classmate you need to carry for me, but Micaela should have written Micaela on it. If you lose it they are after me.

He has some swim gear, and Micaela has wrote his name on it? I don't know why, but I want him to feel safe here, so if Micaela seems scared please ask him if he is.

Madra is a spanish name for girls that sounds nice, but maybe Micaela could work in spanish? I think it can be pronounced fine, but I only took a spanish class two years ago and know nothing anymore, so I am not the best. Monica also sounds nice

As for gender troubles, I had been questioning for a long time. I think exploring all base things is a good thing to do first: like all pronouns you know, etc. The gender bible is a nice place to look especially for dysphoria. Demigirl and Paragirl are gender identitys that are part feminine, and honestly those seem like good starting places. If you go through many labels that's ok!

https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Demigirl and https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Paragirl

[fragilediary-of-evren]

December 12th, 2023 - Weird things in my house

────────────────────────────── Woke up at 9 PM - wow I usually just eat yoghurt I think there are ghosts in my house ──────────────────────────────

☆.。†：＊・゜☆．。†：＊・゜☆．。†：＊・゜☆

Hiiii, I'm feeling better today!

Yesterday was a bad day, but I'm fine now. I slept earlier than usual (2 AM) and I woke up at 9 AM; I'm so happyyyyyyyy. Also, I got my computer back, it survived its monthly cardiac problem.

Today was pretty chill. I ate sandwiches with my mother and had a shower that woke me up a little bit. I started watching tribetwelve on YouTube and it scares me SO MUCH. Found footage horror always gets me. And loud noises.

To make things worse, I've been feeling like some weird things are happening in my house. A few days ago, I thought I had seen a shadow moving in my backyard, and today a little mirror in the bathroom fell -I still don't know how it did that. I might be imagining everything, but it's quite scary. I even have the hallway right next to me when I'm at my desk, and it terrifies me! I always believe something is there...

The song for today is in Spanish lol. The title means "She's different0505". I'm obsessed with that song, it sounds so good. I was going to use one by Regina Spektor, but I didn't want to be repetitive, even though it will happen someday.

I may start listening to Slowdive, I'm currently obsessed with learning about them. I don't know whether I should listen to their albums chronologically or their songs randomly. I ave a system to listen to music, yeah.

Right now the only goals I have for this month are finishing a book - which I haven't been doing at all lmao-, and fixing my sleep schedule. That's it. Oh, and being a bit more happy, looking the bright side of things and stuff.

I probably should go back to therapy, but I'm not able to talk about my feelings lol.

I'm talking about several things nonstop, I'm sorry. It's just that nothing happens these days. Maybe I have to go outside and make things happen... Yeah, I should. But first, let me get enough sleep pls.

I'll go back to be scared by a YouTube video. Bye-bye.

☆.。†：＊・゜☆．。†：＊・゜☆．。†：＊・゜☆

[featherliketouch]

I haven't touched this blog in literal years and what finally got me to actually go through the process of retrieving back passwords and such? This one 50 year old rat man who immediately stole my heart and the handful of quality content I've found of him.

So when I saw a couple of posts on onetrickponi's blog where an anon shared thoughts about Bruno stifling, I was seized by an intense desire to write it down. So this is for you, my good anon and to all the people who cares for one (1) skrunkly rat man.

(Please take note that I don't speak Spanish so the sprinkling of it you see throughout the fic is from searching it up online so apologies for mistakes)

Old Habits Die Hard

Summary: When Bruno lived in the walls for ten years, certain habits just came to be. It's hard to kick it even after he returned to his family.

------

The habit formed out of necessity, really.

Living within the walls for a decade meant that he had to learn how to be quiet– as a mouse, if you will. He couldn’t alert his family of his presence (aside from Dolores, who he suspected had known since the very beginning but chose to keep his secret regardless) so anything he did had to make as little noise as possible.

Which include sneezing, of all things.

Bruno didn’t have the best immune system even before his self imposed isolation. Always the smallest among the triplets, the one who’d get ill every time the seasons changed or when something went around the Encanto. Before he had Julieta’s cooking to help ease the symptoms (her gift could heal the injured but not the sick, something that they discovered early in their childhood) but now, he could only hope that this latest cold wouldn’t end up being what tipped his family off on his living situation.

Thankfully he never really contracted anything dangerous– or at least life threatening. A bite of stale arepa still eased enough that he just needed to tough it out until whatever that he was sick naturally passed. Until then, Bruno had to deal with all the ‘fun stuff’, like the restless sleep, coughing and sneezing.

¡Ay Dios, the sneezing was the worst.

With a nose his size, of course the sneezes would be loud. And it was never just one with him. He always fell into at least a small fit, which can vary in length and intensity depending on how itchy his nose was at the time. Before he left, anyone within Casita knew he’d just gone through a fit cause he’d hear calls of Salud! from somewhere within their home. It never failed to make him feel embarrassed, knowing that he'd been loud enough for just about anyone to hear regardless of where they were.

So when he retreated into the walls, Bruno had to learn on how to stifle his sneezes. It was the only way to keep things as quiet as possible. He learnt to ignore how stifling left his head pounding, eyes watering and gasping for breath. This intense feeling of dissatisfaction that he had to live with until it faded.

Stifling became the norm for him so even after his return to the family after Casita’s fall and subsequent rebuilding, he still found himself pinching his nose to stifle a sneeze or four, feeling lightheaded after.

Of course the first time he did so in front of his family, Bruno found himself on the receiving end of gentle advice and reminders that he shouldn’t be stifling. It sounded painful, so they imagined it felt way worse for him.

He recalled stammering an apology, cheeks pinkened from the attention (some part of him would never get used to this… acceptance, that he was honestly out of the walls). Bruno still stifled his sneezes though, prompting conversations like “There you go again--you don't have to do that anymore.” from various family members.

Each time Bruno would apologize, smile nervously then scrambling away before the awkwardness got too much for him. He knew logically that they had his best interests at heart but old habits die hard, you know?

So when he woke up one morning with the beginnings of a headache behind his temples, sore throat and stuffy nose, he knew that he couldn’t avoid what will happen to him in the coming days. Still, that didn’t mean he won’t try to keep quiet about it. Bruno had been extra careful, keeping talking to a minimum and making quick, subtle swipes to his nose to stave off the itch until he could find a secluded enough space to stifle the fit that was desperate to be released.

He survived through breakfast, having only one stifled fit that the family couldn't focus on long enough thanks to Antonio's jaguar making a surprise appearance at the table. He managed to get through the afternoon, mostly keeping to himself and staying out of sight (which wasn't super difficult given that most of them had plans in town).

Of course he could hide this from his family for only so long.

He just didn’t expect to get cornered by Julieta of all people.

Bruno had ducked into one of the empty guest rooms when he felt that itch grew to a burning need. He was barely able to knock on the frame prior to his hasty entry, let alone properly close it behind him. His hands steepled over his nose, eyes squeezing shut as his quiet hitching slipped into a fit of repressed spasms.

“Hh-ihnxt! I-chxt! N’ghxt!” Each stifled sneeze left him breathless, head pounding from the withhold pressure.

“Oh Bruno, you know you don’t have to do that.” As he geared up for the next fit –of course his nose never seemed to be satisfied with just one round– the voice coming from behind startled him enough that he almost tripped in his haste to turn around.

It left him slightly dizzied so Bruno didn’t see Julieta’s approach until he felt hands gently grabbing hold of his wrists. She pulled them away from his face, where his nose twitched in anticipation.

“J-Juli please le-hhh go…” His eyes watered from the effort of holding back for as long as possible. No amount of weak tugging could free his hands from his hermana’s surprisingly strong grip. For her part, she merely looked at him with open fondness.

“Like I said hermanito, it’s not good for you to stifle them. Just let them out.”

“Bu-hhh I can’t… I c-can’t ju-hhha…” Bruno’s cheeks burned at the thought of accidentally making a mess. The last thing he wanted was to…

Julieta simply let out a soft laugh, pulling him closer. “Bruno, I’ve had to take care of people when the cold or flu makes their rounds. I’ve seen worse. I just don’t want you to be in pain when you don’t have to.”

Even if her words assured him, it wasn’t like he had a choice in the matter. Bruno could only hold back for so long. Thus, as a last-ditch attempt to keep her out of the spray zone, he closed the distance between them, bodies pressed with his head over her right shoulder. With one last full body shudder, he let them loose.

“HeH’RSHhue!” The first one that burst out would have bent him over if not for Julieta. She had released his wrists to properly support him as he continued to hitch, gearing up for the next one. “HhRSSHHue! Hehh..hhAA'RSHue!”

Eyes squeezed shut, he knew that this next round would be his last—and biggest. Through the confusing rush of feelings going through him, a part of his mind still wanted to be let go so he could steeple his fingers over his nose and stifle them silent. Bruno tried to pat at his sister’s back, a quiet plea to be released. Even tried to say something but was unable to through the desperate hitching.

“I know you want to,” she simply said, sounding far too amused with his predicament. “Don’t hold back on my account.”

As if given permission, the last bit of stubborn willpower buckled underneath the sheer need for release.

“Hhheh…HHEAH…HEH’GGSHUUE! HH-RSHUUE! HHAH’KSHUE!” Bruno can’t recall the last time he sneezed loudly and openly like that. It left him dazed once again, this time from this crashing wave of relief and exhaustion, like that last sneeze took everything out of him. He found himself slumping against Julieta, sniffling.

“Salud, Brunito.” His sister started rubbing his back, and he swore it was from the fit that his eyes watered again.

It dawned on him that maybe he really didn’t have to stifle them anymore out of fear of someone hearing him. Didn’t have to squelch them silent until his head hurt, leaving him with this… unsatisfied feeling. He felt warm from the embarrassment but at the same time, he can’t deny that it felt… good to let them out. It left him feeling… tingly all over.

Hmm, now that was a thought to unpack later.

First he had to address the fact that the fit left him in need of a tissue, handkerchief—anything to wipe away the mess and blow his sniffly nose into. Bruno would die out of shame if he wiped on Julieta’s dress.

This time he did tap his sister’s back as a sign to be let go. She obliged and the moment his arms were freed, he ducked away with his hands covering his nose. Bruno glanced up at her, twin spots of red high on his cheeks.

“U-Um Juli… could y-you…?”

Thankfully, he didn’t need to elaborate. She laughed softly, eyeing him with this sort of fond adoration that simultaneously made him want to squirm and preen under the attention. Julieta fished out a kitchen towel from her apron, handing it over to him.

Bruno eagerly snatched it up from her hands –uttering a muffled lo siento! when it felt more like a slap on his end—before bringing it up to his nose. He tried to quietly blow into it without being too loud, feeling quite relieved now that he didn’t feel so stuffed up.

“Gracias,” Bruno mumbled, still keeping the towel to his face. “And, um, lo siento for… you know…”

Julieta simply laughed that gentle laugh of hers, shaking her head with her lips curled into a kind smile. “Like I said Bruno, I’ve taken care of people going through colds and flus.” Here, she raised a hand to press against his forehead. “And it looks like you’re in the midst of catching one,” she tsks in a motherly way.

“Lo siento.” Bruno sniffled, knowing that he didn’t have to apologize for getting sick but still felt the need to anyway.

“Silly Brunito, don’t apologize for catching a cold.” The way she smiled at him, so full of affection, made his chest bubble with warmth. “Now my gift might not be able to do much against illnesses but I do know that a mug of aguapanela can help. Go wash up and meet me in the kitchen later.”

With that, Julieta left the room, leaving him to stand there sniffling pitifully into the kitchen towel. Bruno gave a louder blow now that he was alone, sighing in relief when it felt like that had cleared out his sinuses-- and one last sneeze.

"HhhaaHK'SHUE!" Bruno rubbed his nose, letting out a little sound of something from how good that felt. There was this little rush too and a tingly sensation of something that he felt from the tip of his nose to the tips of his toes. All he knew was that it didn't feel... unpleasant. Rather the opposite. Pleasurable, dare he say.

Once again, that was something to unpack later.

He should probably wash this towel before meeting up with his hermana in the kitchen… and bring his own handkerchiefs, knowing full well that this would not be the last of the fits that would plague him today and the next few days. He didn’t need to see the future to know that this would be one hell of a cold.

Though this time, instead of sitting miserably in his chair, muffling his coughs and stifling his sneezes until his eyes welled with tears (and feeling the crushing feeling of loneliness settling over his shoulders like his thin, raggedy blanket), he could go into the kitchen, be passed a warm drink and listen to his sister list down the things she’d feed him so he could beat this cold faster.

(Not to mention all the attention his family would give him once word got out. Sure, Julieta would want to limit contact between them to minimize the risk of it being passed around but Bruno would find himself the recipient of many get well gifts, ranging from cards to stuffed animals and a specially embroidered handkerchief from one talented sobrina).

Until then, he was going to wash up and meet up with Julieta in the kitchen. He had a mug of aguapanela with his name on it waiting for him.

[flokidokie]

The Gancanagh - Chapter 10

Fandom: Downton Abbey

Chapter Summary: When Thomas returned, Aiden was gone.

Read the whole story here or under #thegancanaghfic. For more of my stuff look at #flokileroux or #flokiwrites.

Tagged: @jolieblack @irrationalgame

Chapter 10 - Home is where the heart... isn't?

When Thomas Barrow returned from war, he was a changed man.

He was a sergeant now and whenever people saw him, they looked at him in awe and nodded a silent thank you for your service. The war was nowhere near finished and every man who came back now, had been somehow injured. Some had lose an arm or both legs, some had lose their entire face, forever scarred into being unrecognizable. Thomas had seen it all.

People looked at him the same way they looked at those poor souls, with pity and an unconcealed gaze to his hand. Sometimes he felt like that was the only thing they saw, not even looking at his face while delivering their condolences. They didn't know that Thomas had wanted this injury, that he actively sought it out so he could come home, alive and back to the man that haunted his every dream. Back home to Aiden. They didn't know, but Thomas felt like there was a giant sign pointing at his hand, screaming at them to look at this coward. He took to hiding it whenever he could.

When Thomas Barrow returned from war, Downton Abbey was a different place.

The once mostly empty rooms now where filled with military officers, recovering from their wounds, while the common soldiers had to make do with the crowded halls of the villages hospital. Lady Sybil had become a proper nurse, buzzing around between the beds, trying her best to ease her patients suffering. Her eyes lit up, when she spotted him entering what once had been the tea room. Her smile didn't last long though.

“Where is Lord Aiden?”, Thomas asked after greeting her sincerely. Sybil hesitated to answer, her eyes turning awfully sad.

“I'm sorry, Thomas, I truly am.”, she said softly, as if she knew that her next words would break his heart. “He went back to Australia.”

Thomas felt his heart sink hearing her speak. He swallowed nervously, trying to hide the feeling of doom that sat heavily in his stomach.

“Why?”, he asked, hoping to sound more indifferent than he actually was failing at it. Sybil knew him too well. Sybil knew.

“His grandmother, Lady Eithne, died and he went to attend her funeral.”, she explained, a hint of worry in her voice. “That was over two months ago. He didn't come back and we haven't heard from him since.”

“I see.”, Thomas said, struggling to keep his posture. Sybil squeezed his arm in a comforting manner before turning back to her work.

This had been a month ago. Since then, no word from Aiden.

Thomas had started to scan the newspapers for articles about sunken ships, the sinking of the titanic still in mind, but found nothing. There hadn't been any riots in Melbourne either, which could have explained, why Aiden could not return and the cold arm of war was not long enough to reach Australia just yet.

Misfortune had found its way to Downton Abbey it seemed. Almost a month after Thomas had returned, the former footman William returned in a condition much worse than him. The Sergeant now working in the abbey as a medic, had done what he could, but still the boy was to die. His death threw a shadow over Downton. Mr. Matthew, having returned with poor William, had lost control over his legs and as soon as he had been able to walk again, the Spanish flu had taken his fiancee.

The war had ended eventually, but Aiden was still missing. Thomas couldn't accept the possibility, that maybe he would never come back. He checked the news with desperation, ears perking up whenever the telephone rang, even eavesdropping his lordships private conversations, in hope to get the tiniest sliver of information. But there was nothing. Month after month passed and Thomas grew more depressed with each of them.

xxx

Downton had changed. Daisy had been working in this house as long as she remembered, but the house had never felt so empty before.

Gwen was long gone, now living her dream of becoming a secretary. Since then she had seen new maids come and go on a weekly basis. Thomas, now Mr. Barrow, had left for war, but returned safely, differently than poor William, who died only a few hours after she had married him, out of pity. She still felt bad about that one. He had been substituted by Mr. Molesley, the butler of Lady Isobel. Lady Sybil had run off to Ireland with Tom Branson and Lord Aiden still hadn't returned.

Daisy missed the young lord. She missed his visits downstairs, she missed his weird Australian slang he sometimes fell back into and most of all she hated how his absence affected Thomas. The footman had been marked by the war, an unsightly wound in his left hand he covered with a leather glove. He tended to hide it under the table so nobody could look at it. He had been hopeful at first, that Aiden would need some time to mourn his grandmother and that would return someday soon, but that day never came and after five months of absence Thomas seemed to have given up.

He talked less and if he did, he snarled with even more bite as usual. The rest of the time he just sat there, staring apathetically into the void while working with automated movements. It was like a dark cloud was hanging over the abbey.

Daisys gaze wandered to the drawing of her that Aiden had drawn ages ago.

“Who drew that?”, Ivy asked. The girl had started working at Downton as the new kitchen maid, now that she became a cook herself, and Daisy didn't like her one bit.

“That's none of your business.”, she spat out, angrily stirring the soup. Jimmy, one of the new footmen stopped shuffling his cards and looked at her surprised.

“Now Daisy, do you have an admirer?”, he teased her, making Ivy laugh. The cook made a face. She knew Jimmy was a flirt but she did not approve how much Ivys behaviour hurt Alfred.

“No.”, she said snarked and Mrs. Patmore chided her quickly.

“That's Lord Aidens work.”, the cook said and wistfully viewed the drawing. “Oh, it's a right shame he is gone...”

“Why, is he dead?”, Alfred asked and Thomas almost spit out his tea. He didn't say anything, but his face showed how angry he was about the comment.

“Good lord, I hope not.”, Mrs. Patmore said quickly, eyes widened in shock. “He went back to Australia to attend a funeral and hasn't returned yet. I'm sure you young folks would have liked him, he was a nice young man.”

Thomas put down his cup, his jaw clenched and face made of stone, stood up and hurried out of the kitchen. Daisy watched him leave, silently sighing.

“What was that about?”, Jimmy asked confused, abandoning his cards for now, having moved to make way for the fleeing footman.

“He must be worrying himself sick, that's all.”, Mrs. Patmore said and paused peeling potatoes. “You must know, Thomas and Lord Aiden were very close. I'm not sure what he'll do, if we don't hear from his lordship soon.”

She sighed, turning to her potatoes again.

“What was he like?”, Ivy asked, probably excited to hear a story about a mysterious lord, she would develop a crush on later, not knowing she would never know the whole truth.

“Oh, he was kind and humble.”, Mrs. Patmore said smiling. “And he lit up the room like no other. He lived a quite turbulent life, difficult relationship to his mother, but he was a pleasure to have around.”

“Was he pretty?”, the kitchen maid asked, blushing already. Daisy didn't want to imagine what would happen, if Thomas heard her speak.

“He is pretty, very much so.”, she replied, correcting the tense of her question. Lord Aiden wasn't dead. He couldn't be.

“Ah, I see.”, Jimmy teased her, raising one of his brows. “You are the admirer, Daisy.”

“I'm just stating the facts.”, she replied, nit even looking up to him. “I'm not interested in men like him. Neither is he interested in me.”

Mrs. Patmore looked at her smiling, when she noticed her using almost the same words, she had once said to her, back then, when Daisy had been crushing on Thomas. He wasn't for her, neither was Aiden. In fact, both men weren't for anyone else, than each other.

xxx

It was a Tuesday, Thomas remembered, when Aiden McTavish returned.

He had been in the study, returning some trivialities he had cleaned off the dust, when he heard the door bell ring. Carsons heavy steps had shuffled towards the door, then there was a gasp followed by clattering and a cuss.

Intrigued what was happening the footman had ventured into the hallway, where Carson had tried to support the young lord by his arm, but he was having none of it. Aiden had ripped his arm out of the butlers grip, swaying backwards. He had mumbled something about nobody touching him and scurried upstairs, not looking at Thomas once.

Aiden had not said a word to him since. He had not come downstairs like he used to and Thomas only ever saw him at the dinner table, where the young lord avoided his eyes. He was quiet, only spoke sparingly and he always seemed to be slightly drunk now. Thomas was sure of that, now that he had caught him stealing alcohol from the wine cellar.

“Does Lord Grantham know that you are emptying his storage?”, he asked and Aiden almost dropped the bottle he was holding. He was awfully skittish lately, Thomas found. Whenever someone moved too suddenly, the boy seemed to jump.

“Does Carson know that you are ambushing innocent lords?”, he shot back, making a face. Aiden looked so much younger than before, yet so much more tired. His skin was paler and dark circles had formed under his eyes. He never smiled nowadays.

“I heard about your grandmother.”, Thomas said. “You have my sincerest condolences.”

Aiden nodded, but did not reply. Thomas moved closer and Aiden backed further away.

“Have I done something wrong?”, he asked, desperately wanting to know why Aiden treated him like this. Aiden looked up to him.

“No!”, he said quickly, his hand twitched, as if he wanted to reach out, but he didn't. “No.. you have done nothing wrong. I...”

Aiden stopped. He bit his lips, burrowing his brows like he wanted to say something but didn't know how. He sighed, seemingly in pain.

“I don't... I'm sorry, Thomas.”, he said, shaking his head. “You have to believe me, I am sorry, but... I can't...”

Thomas reached out for him, to hug him, comfort him, but Aiden backed up.

“Please don't...”, he said quietly, covering his face with one hand. Thomas dropped his hand, just staring at him, his eyes full of hurt. Lord McTavish had returned to Downton Abbey, but Aiden, his Aiden, hadn't made it back, it seemed.

“As you wish, my Lord.”, the footman said eventually, bitterly bowing to him. “I'll leave you to it.”

With quick steps Thomas hurried outside, through the back door behind the kitchen and out into the courtyard. With an angry grunt he hit the wall with his fist, ignoring the sharp pain that went through his wound. With tears burning in his eyes, he cursed the war, the McTavish family and most important, himself. Why did he let himself fall for a lord, as if he didn't know better? The boy was young and wanted to upset his mother, of course he would hook up with a willing servant like him. And willing he had been, desperately so.

He struggled to light his cigarette with how hard his hands were shaking. How could he have been so careless?

“Did the young lord break your heart, Thomas?”, he heard a female voice behind him. Startled he turned around, trying to keep his composure but knowing it was far to late for that. O'Brien looked at him with a sick kind of pity.

“Took you long enough.”, She said and stepped closer. Thomas made a face disgust.

“What do you want?”, he spit out. “I'm not in the mood to play.”

The chamber maid was not impressed by his bite and simply stood next to him, crossing her arms.

“I wanted to warn you, but I see it's not necessary any more.”, she said, looking at him from her side. “The young lord received the most thrilling news, just this morning.”

Thomas took a drag of his cigarette, waiting for her to elaborate, but she didn't speak further. With a roll of his eyes, he took the bait.

“And what news would be so thrilling?”, he asked, slowly blowing out the smoke. O'Brien smiled deviously.

“He got engaged.”, she said, smiling wider when she heard Thomas coughing up smoke. “To a man too. A petty little fellow from a low family. Probably desperate enough, to accept the shame a wedding like this will bring him.”

“How do you know that?”, Thomas asked with a hoarse voice.

“His lord- and ladyship discussed it this morning.”, she said. “The marchioness seems to be beside herself with joy. Having her daughter back and all.”

“I think he made it clear enough, that he is anything but her daughter.”, Thomas disagreed, unhappy about the fact, that he still defended him. O'Brien scoffed.

“Let him be whatever he thinks he is, the fact is, he is getting married.”, she said. “And the man he marries is not you, Thomas. You better accept the fact, that he lost interest in you.”

Without another word she left him, ignoring the daggers his eyes glared into her back. With a defeated sigh Thomas stubbed out his cigarette. It was time to face the facts, whatever Aiden had seen in him, apparently he did not see it any more. To him, like anyone else, he was just another footman. And apparently Aiden McTavish was just another lord.

[indigobackfire]

HPHM OC Profile ✧

Aspen Samwise

" You got the same fire as your parents, Aspen, the fire of a fighter. Yet even brighter. I'm sure you'll make Slytherin proud. "

Full Name: Aspen Silverwood Samwise.

Nicknames: Penn, Penny, Sammy, Pipi (by her grandparents).

Gender: Female.

Birthday: 25th of June, 1975

Born: Glasgow, Scotland.

Parents: Ariel Samwise, Heather Silverwood S. - both Purebloods, Slytherins, and Scottish.

Siblings: None, she's a precious only child.

Ethnicity: Scottish (with Spanish and Slavic roots).

Sexuality: Heterosexual.

Blood status: Pureblood.

MBTI: ESTJ-A

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Appearance

Eyes: Her eyes are light blue with tiny brown specks.

Hair: Her hair is a dark brown very close to black, with white streaks scattered throughout, two falling right at the front, some back on her nape. It's straight with some wave to it. She has had it in various lengths throughout her Hogwarts years.

Height: She's a short baby - I'm bad with heights but I'd say 1,66m (5'4"ft).

• Her most prominent characteristic is her Piebaldism - that she got while her mother was pregnant and was hit by a miscast curse. It's all over her body, taking over big patches of skin, her hair and face. Her parents taught her to appreciate it and she grows to like it as it makes her look unique and stand out in the crowd.

• She likes her nails done and dark, but only starts having them long when she's older.

• She has both ears pierced and doesn't like wearing any makeup in daily life - but on special occasions, man, nobody can hold her back.

Magical Aspects

Wand: Ebony wood with Unicorn hair core, 11½", brittle flexibility.

Ebony is happiest in the hand of those with the courage to be themselves. Frequently non-conformist, highly individual, or comfortable with the status of outsider, ebony wand owners have been found both among the ranks of the Order of the Phoenix and among the Death Eaters. The ebony wand’s perfect match is one who will hold fast to his or her beliefs, no matter what the external pressure, and will not be swayed lightly from their purpose.

Patronus: Gemsbok. The largest and best known of the four species of oryx, or straight-horned antelope. It is one of the best desert-adapted large mammals, capable of surviving in waterless wastelands where many animals would perish. A horned creature like her father's Marco Polo Sheep and her mother's Addax.

Animagus: Eurasian Hobby. From the moment she found out Indigo was an animagus, she pestered her for months to help her become one as well, so in the middle of her fourth year, Indigo and Talbott help her through it, except she has to fetch the ingredients herself.

• She picks the Eurasian Hobby (type of falcon) after some research for its speed [speeds up to 99 mph (159 km/h)] and size - which is way smaller than Talbott's Golden Eagle - making a perfect animal for blending in and making a quick escape.

Abilities: Being really effing annoying and a good dancer. Oh, magical ones? Yeah, none.

Boggart: She has two major boggarts in her life:

Failing to protect those she loves by being incompetent, and it takes the form of someone she loves (alternating between family members) and an unknown person yelling at her for being unable to protect them.

Then, hurting someone she loves because she has become too obstinate and revenge thirsty, someone dark. It's combined with other fear that is seeing Diego hurt, so it's him she sees as the person suffering because of her.

Amortentia: Bonfires - she associates the smell and sound with bonfire parties her parents used to throw -, Crisp cold air - she's a Scot who loves the cold -, Peppermint toads and spicy salsa - she might have or haven't tasted it in a certain someone's kiss.

Miscellaneous

Pets: A white Bearded Dragon, Sugar Cube.

Things she always carries with her: Her wand, a dagger, a beanie, peppermint frogs, and snacks for her pet.

Lucky Amulets: A wasp-shaped brooch of gold and precious stones that's a family heirloom.

Best Friends

Barnaby: Her first and best Slytherin friend, because at first they were spying on each other - Barney for Merula and Aspen for Indigo - but it goes as one might expect from these two idiots. He helps her in the Forbidden Forest and she helps him with homework. She's the only person he's truly emotional with because he knows she won't judge him. She knows he had a crush on her cousin and pushed him to ask her out.

Linda Hoàng (OC): Her best girlfriend, tiny and chubby, the cutest and quirkiest Slytherin anyone could meet. The first Slytherin female seeker in many years. A hands-on creatures lover - the one getting her hands dirty, literally. Half Vietnamese and muggle-born - yeah, nobody knows what she's doing in Slytherin.

Andre: Just as sassy as Aspen and the one to give her fashion advice. He basically takes the young Slytherin as his "apprentice" - partially afraid she would become like a mini Merula/Ismelda. He teaches her dangerous spells the teachers don't.

Ismelda: For many years they don't get along, Ismelda's humor is too dark and cruel for her taste, and she's overall very shady. That until water starts to get shaky on her and her cousins' side and they need her help. She's forced to get to know her better when she finds out Phoenix has a crush on her, and through that, she discovers they're not that different after all.

Murphy: She has a crush on him for a while, but even when that dies down, she sticks around because she loves hearing him talk about strategy and thinks he's one of the smartest people she has met in Hogwarts. They play intense chess matches.

Jae: They share the same chaotic energy so it's just natural. He's her loyal detention companion and they enjoy having walks around Hogwarts talking about nothing in particular.

Academics

Favorite Classes:

Charms

History of Magic

DADA

Muggle Studies

Least Favorite:

Divination

Care of Magical Creatures

Arithmancy

Favorite Professor: Snape. She's a sassy, non-conformist, annoying Slytherin, what you want me to say?

Least Favorite: Quirinus Quirrell. He was her DADA professor for a while and she couldn't stand his stuttering, she also hated his classes.

Quidditch: She considered joining the team for the longest time but decided to pursue other passions, besides she would have to play against Indigo and other of her friends which she preferred not. She would've made a great seeker though.

Favorite Team: Montrose Magpies. Just like her family. She really excited when Indigo decided to start supporting them as well.

The last of my Silverwood family trio. Slytherin might be the house I'm least compatible with, still, I love coming up with her story and personality.

[kozutenshi]

Sugawara cleared his throat as he sat in front of you. The library was peacefully quiet except for the occasional footsteps and the sound of the keys of the keyboard being pressed. Taking his notes out, he greeted a soft "good morning" to you as he smiled.

You smiled at him back and returned his greeting before focusing down on your own notes. At least, trying to.

His eyes scanned through his notes, if possible, all too graceful. The highlighted words caught your eyes, all uniform in a pastel green. His notes were organized, at least from what you see.

The best thing is, you need them.

"Your notes are pretty." He looked up to find you staring at his notes curiously, before handing one of his notebooks to you. "Don't kid me, y/n. You need notes on English, don't you?" You only chuckled at his implication, not even trying to deny it. "Thank you Koushi! I'll return it later?"

Your chuckle rang through his mind, a fond look making its way to his face before smiling brightly. "No problem n/n."

MANANG BIDAY

— An Ilocano folk song written around the Spanish Period passed down orally through the different ages.

— The song is about a courtship tradition called harana, serenade in English. The courting man can go alone or with company to support him. He will have to not only court the partner they want but also the whole family.

— The song is sung by the man who is courting their beloved, telling the lady named Biday to look out from her window. The lady responds back, and the song is somewhat lika poetic, musical conversation.

— Though harana isn't popular nowadays, Manang Biday is still sung and learned by students along with other folk songs.

NOTE: Song featured is when you're ready by shawn mendes!

"This is rather awkward."

Sugawara had his arms wrapped around you as his teammates gawked or stared blankly, dumbfounded at the sight of you. Though it may look like an innocent hug, it was surprising. Not only that, but, the fact that Sugawara had recovered over his daze faster than them, showing you off to them as his girlfriend.

Even your face warmed up as he met your eyes and felt his fingers intertwine with yours. Hinata jumped happily, Tsukishima wincing at the ray of sunshine's gesture.

Too bright for him.

Asahi and Daichi congratulated the two of you with soft smiles as Nishinoya dragged your boyfriend towards Tanaka and Hinata's direction.

"How did it happen, Y/N-senpai?" Yachi curiously asked you, a slight blush on her cheeks. Recalling what had happened, it made you chuckle in both happiness and embarrassment.

Their footsteps were muffled by the grass as he finds himself in your front yard with his juniors. Shifting nervously he hummed to calm his nerves. "Alright. Let's do it."

"Maybe I had too many drinks, but that's just what i needed."

With Tsukishima on the guitar and Yamaguchi on the beats, Sugawara felt like all of their secret practices paid off as they played their instruments wonderfully.

Open the damned window, he thought as he sang.

"Don't know why i tried, cause aint nobody like you. Familiar disappointment every single time I do."

The song came to you muffled by your closed window, the chill seeping through the cracks slightly.

"Baby tell me when you're ready, I'm waiting."

You opened your window hurriedly as he smiled up at you, happy that you finally opened your window. Your family gathered in the living room as they hurriedly and giddily witnessed the man serenade you, his sweet smile enchanting them easily.

Whirling towards you, your friends who were over for a study session dragged you downstairs as they cheered at you, telling you to "go for it" and "approach him!" as they reacted to every slight movement as "cute!" or even, "ah, young love."

The man only smiled bigger as he sees you at the front door standing. The chill was starting to seep through your clothes but you didn't care. Your focus was only towards the man with his lovely voice, as if coaxing you to look at him with the lines on his mouth beautifully falling. His eyes never left yours, making your face warm up with the attention he's giving.

The evening complimented him, the soft lights making his gray hair shine metallically. His eyes looked even softer, even warmer. They reminded you of the warm summer's morning rays, something out of place but perfectly needed against the chill of the night. Everything about him made you swoon.

He looked perfect.

"And if I have to, I'll wait forever."

He started walking towards your direction, only to stop singing as he introduced himself to your family. This made them excited, all too happy even, as they encouraged him to finish the song.

"Yeah you know that we fit together," he sang as he took your hand. "I know your heart like the back of my hand."

Solely singing to you now, the acoustics accompanied the wispiness of his voice, creating an enchanting vibe. The man only squeezed your hand before kissing its knuckles as he finished the song.

"Even ten years from now, if you haven't found somebody I promise i'll be around. Tell me when you're ready, I'm waiting, I'm waiting."

He said his goodbyes as you tried to take in what he had done. A serenade in front of your family, not just small flirtations and random visits. Your mind was racing, trying to think of something to explain it, but the only thing on your mind was one valid reason:

He was serious.

"Chase him!" Your family insisted as they pushed you towards their retreating figures.

Sugawara only smiled at his juniors who looked at him curiously questions in their eyes.

"Why did you do it?" "Why didn't you wait for their answer?" "Don't you think it would be better if we stayed?" Their eyes seemed to say this questions, but the only thing he gave them is a 'thank you'. The juniors didn't question their senior, opting to find their way to their own houses as they bid their goodbyes at the fork on the road.

"Koushi!" Your voice made his eyes widen, the duo that was with him stopping at a good distance to watch the scene. You caught sight of his gray turned silver hair under the streetlight, the coldness of the wind making you regret not bringing a jacket in a hurry. You slowed down as you got closer to him before wordlessly pecking his cheek. Blush dusted his face, visible even in the dark. "Y/n-" you cut him off through leaning on his shoulder sheepishly, embarrassment flooding your senses.

Admitting feelings never really got easy.

"I like you too." Sugawara relaxed as he hears your words, releasing a breath of relief. "I like you too, Koushi," you repeated. Your heartbeat pounded fast as he puts a hand on your shoulder, detaching you from him. You were confused, before he pressed a kiss on your forehead, taking you in his arms properly.

Warmth flooded your veins, and you were right; he felt like a home in a summer morning. Comforting and cozy. His heart likewise was loud as you listened to its beats.

"Then, we kind of just.. got together." Yachi's eyes, along with Noya, Hinata and Tanaka, sparkled in happiness. The two of you had told the same story, only in both your perspectives, but hearing the roar of the boys made you laugh as Sugawara sheepishly smiled at you.

Yachi strayed back to her duties as a club manager as you found yourself sitting with Sugawara on the floor. The two of you watched Tanaka approach Kiyoko saying, "If I serenade you, will you marry me?" which Kiyoko gave a firm no to. Sharing laughter, you leaned on Sugawara as he presses a small kiss on your temple, before helping Daichi put the team in order.

TRAVELLERS: @akasuns @doodleniella @kenmaki @lyzzklm @mfcassandra @oikaw-ugh @seijohlogy @thesecondapplepienation

[adultingautistic]

Hi, I really like your blog. Comforting and appeasing. I was diagnosed 6years ago in and to put it lightly, enlightening. And in these years i have made immense progress with myself. Lately however I've had a very unnerving issue. I haven't had a new special interest in a while, last few months. Covid quarantine allowed me to heavily focus on my latest ones, which I still find interesting but which no longer satisfy me completely. Is this experienced by others? Is it a sign of depression?

First, it’s totally normal to go through “transition periods” between special interests, where the old ones have faded a bit but a new one hasn’t started to shine yet.  I’ve gone through these periods myself before, and yes, it can be boring and even frustrating as you don’t know what to do with yourself.

I’ve also experienced “using up all my interests” during quarantine, too!  In the pre-Covid times, I used to be lucky if I had 2 hours a day in which to engage in fun activities, and so I had so many special interests, all lined up, that I could never get to them all!

During quarantine, not only have I watched my samemovies to death, I’ve actually started to learn Spanish, am writing a novel, have played all the video games to the point I’m sick of them, and I’m struggling to find things to keep myself interested, too!

This is just...boredom.  It’s not a state I’m very familiar with, and I’m guessing you’re not, either.  My mind is the type of brain that is interested in everything, and I want to read it all, play it all, do it all.  Except with quarantine, I actually...can.  And I have.  And I’ve...run out of stuff.

So if this sounds like you, and this is the only symptom you’re having, then I think you’re just feeling The Covid Boreds (I just made that up just now).

But if you’re having other symptoms along with losing special interests, then you may be feeling stress, or even depression.

As far as stress goes- Covid has affected us all.  Everyone is more stressed than usual, because the world is suddenly very different, and also scary, and there’s nothing we can do about it which brings a sense of helplessness to the situation.

I found a really good article that listed the differences between stress vs depression.  The symptoms it lists for stress are:

Trouble sleeping

Feeling overwhelmed

Problems with memory

Problems concentrating

Change in eating habits

Feeling nervous or anxious

Feeling angry, irritable or easily frustrated

Feeling burned out from studying or schoolwork

Feeling that you can't overcome difficulties in your life

Trouble functioning in class or in your personal life

But depression has a few more, which is what makes it different from (and more serious than) stress:

Withdrawing from other people (I’ll argue this one doesn’t count for autistics though)

Feeling sad and hopeless

Lack of energy, enthusiasm and motivation

Trouble making decisions

Feeling bad about yourself or feeling guilty

Thoughts of suicide or wishing you were dead

So if losing special interests is the only symptom you’re showing, then I would say you’re probably not having depression or stress. If you’re having some of the other emotional symptoms such as irritability or easily getting frustrated, then it’s probably stress related.

The biggest sign of depression are the sad and hopeless feelings, and other very negative feelings which are persistent over the long term.  Depression is a long-term illness, you cannot be depressed “for a day”, then that is just normal sadness.

Stress is still a serious mental health situation and needs to be taken care of, because it can lead to depression down the road if left to get worse.  But it can often be alleviated without professional help, by doing life-changes that remove stressors in your daily life, and improving your self-care, taking breaks, and resting.

However if you are feeling the persistent negative feelings listed above, then you may have depression and I would recommend seeking mental health help right away.

And if you’re not sure?  Seek help.  It is never the wrong choice to seek help, and even if it’s not depression but something less severe, a therapist can still help you improve your life- which is always a good thing!