#or learning to love the flaws society told you you had . and knowing that other people like you like it too. that youre not alone

[desert-lurker]

sometimes i think of little reclamations of the body and get emotional

[yois2aki]

੭୧ chishiya realizing he's in love with reader... . ۫

chishiya shuntaro x gn!reader (requested)

— warnings: fluff, ooc chishiya, maybe a rough talk at the start, chishiya is just shy and in denial...

— summary: chishiya doesn't like being in love after experiencing it for the first time.

— word count: 1.3k

it's irrational. it's irrational and a waste of time.

chishiya believed he had long ago lost all his will to live. he was barely capable of feeling simple human emotions after viewing firsthand how ruthless those same human beings can be to each other.

children die everyday due to the crazy prices of medicine their parents can't afford. women are abused and sexualized and after speaking up somehow it is their fault. lives are taken away only for the fact that others seem more valuable to the society. people choose money over their own loved ones. he's seen it all throughout his course of life, his job as a future doctor not helping the attempts he would make to distract himself from this reality. this is what made him so emotionally distant.

chishiya couldn't comprehend why people took their lives so seriously, trying their best to make it out alive of the deathly games they were condoned with. anyone could die at any given moment, doesn't matter if they are in the borderlands or not. after all, unless you have money and power, in a few years no one will remember who you were.

he considered altruism useless, prioritizing his own life instead of others. if he could help someone who was at the doors of death with no negative outcome, he'd choose not to interfere, knowing that same person would die sooner or later.

and in truth, you were the complete opposite of him. if he had to define altruism in a word, he would say your name.

you made no absolute sense in his mind. so why did he feel so attracted to your mindset? why did he want to constantly learn more about what you believed in? and why did he feel so different around you?

chishiya had never felt this way about anything. so when he realized how his heart fluttered when you looked his way, or how his smart head unlearned how to properly think when you both had a deep talk, he was nothing more and nothing less than afraid. afraid that what he was feeling for another human being was love, a big flaw in the borderlands.

sometimes at night he'd ponder about how things would have turned out if he had met you in the real world. if things would have been easier there, and if he wouldn't be as afraid.

"do you like them?" kuina asked, straightforward as usual, as he stared endlessly at your back from the other side of the main division of the beach. "if you like them, you should date."

"i don't like them." he replied sourly, not bothering to bat an eye towards kuina, knowing well she'd have an eyebrow raised to show her uncertainty to what he just affirmed. "i just think they're smart, is all."

chishiya knew deep down he was lying, but he couldn't get his mind wrapped around the fact he might be falling for someone, his only visible option at the moment being denial, denial and denial.

"they could die at any moment," kuina said, a hand moving to her dummy cigarette as she kept chewing on it, now her eyes were also on you. "you should tell them about your feelings already."

"i already told you i don't have feelings for them." chishiya rolled his eyes. kuina had always spoke what comes to mind and it wasn't something chishiya liked about her, especially when it was directed towards him.

but he couldn't help but stop for a while, as his mind betrayed him and let his heart take over. was it that obvious? he definitely didn't like you, he just resonated with your standards, that's it. or maybe it was a small crush, and something he didn't want to ponder a lot. he would get over it in about two weeks.

which obviously wasn't true. actually, his admiration grew stronger, but now not only honing on your mental capability, but also your physical features. you were exactly his type, he had to admit.

he could be planning something devious inside his mind, or imagining ways he could make the stupid militants shut up for once. but all it would take was a glance at those sweet eyes of yours, staring deeply right onto his, and that damned cute smile — which he learned to love hate — you give him when you both walk past each other in the halls, that his mind would completely fly elsewhere. all his deceitful schemes he spent so much time and effort coming up with late at night, now long forgotten. everything that occupied his mind being you.

before he could realize it, he was standing awkwardly on one of the halls for the hotel rooms. he was probably going to his own, until you showed up and flashed him a quick smile of sympathy, moving the opposite way from his and paying not too much mind.

it was such a simple activity, something he used to do with his colleagues on the real world, or even with strangers that were having a very nice day. yet his face felt like it was on fire, his heart about to leave his own body, and his legs couldn't work anymore. suddenly your voice was heard from behind, and he could only freeze completely.

"chishiya?" you sounded honest, a bit of worry present on your tone. "are you alright?"

shivers went down his spine as he, for once, didn't know what to say. typically, when someone has a crush, all they want to do is to spend time with them. but for some reason, all chishiya wanted you to do was get out of his way. perhaps it was due to the lack of care he received throughout his entire childhood, but he didn't like this feeling. being in love was terrifying.

but he guessed it had to happen someday. everyone falls in love, and it ended up being his turn. it wasn't something he was used to. love wasn't an exact thing, like maths or biology, that's based off of facts. it all depended. he couldn't predict the outcome by reading your body language or solving equations with an abacus. everything was subjective.

he took a deep breath and didn't move from his position, instead focusing on letting his voice come out as nonchalant as possible.

"mhm." he mumbled, immediately wanting to punch himself in the face.

he bit his lip in embarrassment. no one would ever answer someone with "mhm" after being asked about their doings, especially not him.

"are you sure?" you asked again, moving closer to him to check on his face.

as soon as he heard your steps, he started moving himself, his body betraying his heart. he tried hiding his face with the hood, as he walked slightly faster than you.

it didn't take long for you to notice he probably didn't want to talk, so instead you just stopped and watched his back move further and further from you.

"i'm..." he started, his face turning to the side to let you know he was speaking to you, his feet not stopping. "i'm getting something from my room. goodbye."

and with that you were left alone and confused on that same hall, after he made a turn at a corner and went who knows where. you had never seen chishiya this nervous, but didn't fret too much about it, instead planning on asking kuina what was going on later.

in truth, chishiya had rushed to his bedroom and closed himself inside with the key he created since locking doors wasn't allowed at the beach. his back stuck to the door, as he breathed in and out frantically. he had looked like an idiot and knowing he did it in front of you didn't help.

this was chishiya's first time being in love and according to his analysis, he hated it.

— a/n: CHISHISYSTATYAAAAA </3 the day i write something not cute about chishiya help me because i might not be myself... i love him i need to see him pathetic rn..... hope u guys liked it!

[sokkas-therapist]

Ok so I decided I am going to post that “atla live action hot take” I mentioned

Click below the cut if you’re interested in hearing my take on the whole “taking away sokka’s sexism” thing

1) nobody is glorifying sokka’s sexism by saying it should be kept in the show. It’s quite literally the opposite. The original series did a great job using his sexism as a lesson; any time sokka made a sexist remark in the first 4 episodes it was made abundantly clear that he was wrong, and as soon as Sokka was proven wrong he admitted that he was misguided, apologized, quite literally bowed down on his knees to ask for forgiveness, and even asked to learn from the kiyoshi warriors, and excepted wearing their traditional uniforms, further surrendering his flawed perspective of societal gender roles. A wonderfully executed example of writers using their characters to teach viewers a lesson: which was, in this case, that sexism is wrong. Sokka’s sexism was not left unresolved, so why take away a valuable lesson in the show??

2) if you take away a character’s flaws…then they don’t have development. A character can’t learn and grow from their mistakes if they never make mistakes.

If a charecter starts off perfect and unflawed then they are surface level and lack depth or the ability for an arc.

And no, this is not saying that Sokka didn’t have many other admirable qualities like his intelligence and adaptability etc.. He 100% had those qualities. But one of the coolest things about the original atla series was their ability to flesh out side charecters and give them depth. A charecter who is simply smart then becomes smarter, or adaptable then becomes even more adaptable, lacks depth and internal conflict.

Sokka’s sexism was the starting point for his internal conflict. Sokka wasn’t just sexist to be sexist, or because the entire southern water tribe was misogynistic (and we know for a fact they weren’t, because if they were misogynistic, then Katara wouldn’t have been shocked when the North denied her waterbending training). He was misogynistic because being seen/accepted as a “man” and a strong warrior was all Sokka wanted after his father left him behind. In reality, we know his father was only trying to protect his son from the horrors of war. But to a young and impressionable child, Sokka internalized this as him not being “man” enough, so he dedicated himself to becoming the person he thought would make his father proud. He was always reaching for this unattainable standard he set for himself, which lead to him having a skewed and toxic view of masculinity that he took out on the women around him. He associated being a worthy warrior with being a traditionally masculine man, and leaned way too far into fulfilling the gender roles men and women are told to play in society in hopes of gaining his father’s approval. We see him do this by suppressing his feelings of inferiority as a nonbender, along with all the aspects of himself that he thought could be seen as “weak” or “feminine” (ex: his love for shopping and poetry and art that we see develop up until the literal end of the series).

So clearly, the vast majority of sokka’s charecter development that deals with internal conflict stems from the toxic view of masculinity and gender roles that he adopted after being left behind by his father, which caused him to outwardly lash out toward katara and Suki with misogynist comments. So taking away the sexism we see in the first few episodes eliminates important context that makes sokka’s character development throughout the entire series significant, not just an “iffy unnecessarily bigoted message”, because it was quite literally used to show that sexism was wrong.

I wasn’t going to say anything about this at first but seeing so many people display a fundamental lack of understanding for the premise of character development and the usage of charecter flaws to promote positive messages in media set me off. Just…WTF????

(Also I know I wrote a summarized version of this in the tags for another post but I wanted to expand upon it more and make this a separate post)

[laylawatermelon]

Now that I'm thinking about it I wanna theorize/call for action outside of buddie (don't worry i WILL return with a vengeance) but now I'm on a bit of an Eddie Diaz kind of run.

I'm reading a fanfic now of Eddie's sisters which kind of spawned me to think about his relationship with them and kind of think about his family dynamics and expectations and what's coming up for his storyline.

Now they mentioned bringing his family in, specifically his sisters, and i think this storyline ties into Marisol (noname i swear this drives me crazy when i think about it?!??! PLEASE if you want me to care/be invested gimme a last name!) and his Catholic guilt/sense of responsibility/man of the house complex.

They've introduced how his upbringing brought him a lot of guilt and a sense of duty (to serve and protect amirite? Dang religion can be a perfect line to how modern society works but lemme save that for a thesis or something this is about 911 on abc🤣)

Back on topic though, there's a really nice post talking about how he's military family and how that affected his and Shannon's relationship. (x)

Reading that helped me to appreciate the writing and details.

I also want to talk about the beautiful work being done on Twitter and Tumblr about the Miami Vice costume theory and coincidences.

(heh throwback Tuesday and takeover thursday came in clutch with finding these x )

Yes i do ship buddie, but if I look at it not just as a romantic things but as they are written as kind of parallel soulmates who run along the same line of development.

One always spurs the next to grow and change and are heavily involved in some way even if that way it's just being themselves.

Buck being open with his sexuality will trigger something in Eddie. What it is can vary.

I think if we look at it with non shipper glasses, Buck's freedom will lead to Eddie's freedom. What I mean by that is since Eddie had came to the 118 Ryan mentioned how each year he was there the more he learned about himself and other people.

I think what Eddie would be at free from the image/expectations of what a family should look like/be.

He knows what a family could look like in a queer/unconventional way. Bathena's unit, Chimney and Maddie's family (let's say cause they're not currently married with a toddler church would pass out), and HenRen's family.

The could be and should be is the important part.

Eddie grew up being told what he should be and what his life should look like. Evidently his life went none of the ways it was intended to go.

He's a widower single father from a teen/young pregnancy and veteran. Sure he's a firefighter now but he has no "complete" family.

The way they're emphasizing the mother aspect throughout his story is still fascinating.

(i also thought of something hilarious as like he probably imagined/process mothers as like the Virgin Mary or something when they brought up how he can see woman as mothers but not really women at the same time)

(also Madonna whore complex was mentioned and it's also a fascinating way to look at it as he can either desire or love.)

Shannon seems to be the only exception and even that is iffy. I would also say that when she became a mother the desire kind of left? I think the mother aspect solidified for him when she left them I would say.

Yes they did have sex but that was a (very bad, horrid) form of communication between them. They both avoided stuff at some point in some (eh it's like 20/80 her and Eddie) cases.

Every other woman he has dated has kind of been a substitute, for a lack of a better word, replacement for the role of mom.

Now he knows what moms should look like in all shapes and forms. He knows what dads should look like. He's knows what his family should look like.

Granted he did get rid of some of the flaws of his father and the way he was raised which also ties into the way he is.

Eddie was parentified at an early age. (I will say as a black/poc person that there tends to be adult responsibilities placed on our communities kids from young partially because of culture but mostly because of the inherent unevenness that we have to struggle to make balance worldwide in different facets and environments.)

Once again, this is about 911 on abc, not my thesis😭.

I just imagine him standing on a stool to cook food for his sisters or some other things like laundry. Or even worse the cannon car accident with his pregnant mom. (I love to make myself cry)

Eddie had technically been a parent since he was a kid. He literally became the man of the house or the father. So i guess that entailed taking on the emotional and sometimes physical burden of the father role.

I guess when he was actually a father and not just the role he felt the weight of responsibility again and panicked. It makes sense he has a habit of running since he never had the opportunity to do so as a kid (since he never got the chance to be one).

So after Chris it was once again role of the father but now with added responsibility of bringing money to provide the household which he didn't have to do in that role.

It was hard then so it became even more difficult.

So he gave his body to the military and returned wounded in mind and body, and with a disabled son who needed insurance and stability and a wife who just needed him.

And he needed to be a man. Again and again and again.

He broke out of the loop when he got to the 118 (bless the haven that is that building) met Buck, then Carla and Bobby who offered a safe place for his kid.

He was no longer alone and had distanced himself physical from the church but mentally still shackled in his beliefs.

After this Buck and Tommy things and he's not present we're going to focus on how a family could look for him.

Last season and recently they mentioned the fact that his aunt had been divorced and he didn't know.

There was also mention of family secrets.

There was also Marisol and Chris together which I'm guessing he wasn't to happy with her but it's either or since we haven't seen them together so it's a 50/50 chance. More like 90/10 he's annoyed or feels weird about his mom being replaced). Since we touched on him repairing his relationship with his mom and subsequently girls and women/relationships he wants to be in now that may shift his image of Marisol suddenly being more present.

Slight Buddie tangent (i gotta let the beat out for a sec raaa-) but the fact that he's still hanging out with Buck pretty consistently (well we can say he's his other parent who's sadly been in his life almost longer than his mom 🥺 lemme stop I'm crying) but it might decrease due to his and Tommy's relationship. (They're two firefighters with very busy schedules ofc he's not present they got work to do chop chop!/j)

In turn this leaves Chris with one less stable parent figure and it's forced to turn to Marisol who may be overeager to please him.

This can lead Chris to probably feeling uncomfortable with the changes because he's happy his dad's happy but he's not happy because it feels like his family's changing again too fast, and what if she leaves then his dad's not happy and a whole other sleet of teenage issues and angst.

So what I predict their storyline to be going it's that Eddie tries to find his own freedom from the church and maybe even the expectations of his home community would have on him.

Buck will be radiant in himself at the wedding, so will Hen and Karen, and Marie and Chimney, and Bobby and Athena.

He'll look around and look inward.

He'll stop focusing on what his life should look like and focus on what it could.

And that life could be just as radiant as the family he's apart of now.

(and that's all i could ask for 🥹)

[raelle-writing]

Some of Jin hate is just shippers and others just want perfect heroes in their shows. I find grey characters much more interesting. They make people confront their own flaws and the complexity of human nature. Horror also historically is a genre that exposes the dark side and taboos of society that gets swept under the rug. BOC is not making shows for easy viewing that’s for sure.

You know that's actually something I've loved about the show so far is that there are almost no black and white characters (except for Top who is apparently nasty for no reason lmao). Like, every single character in the show feels fully human in the way they react and express themselves during good and bad things happening.

I really enjoy that we got to see that Por isn't just a bratty mean girl, that he's abused at home and never has his own accomplishments. I'm glad we got to see that Tee isn't just a dick to Non, he's also struggling to help his family pay medical bills and that's why he got wrapped up in illegal stuff.

It's really cool to see so much nuance to all of these characters where it would've been SO easy to make them all flat and either good or bad. Every character has a shade of gray to them, it's just a matter of how much. And of course Jin is one of them and has made mistakes. So has Phee. He told Non (his boyfriend who had shown unaliving tendencies before) to go die. That's really bad, too. And I'm sure that if that was the last thing Phee ever said to Non, he carries the weight of that guilt with him.

Phee and Jin both reacted in anger to situations and I'm sure that those mistakes haunt them. What makes them different from the others is that their guilt changed them, turned them into different people in the present. Whereas Por, Tee, and Top are all exactly the same... and learned nothing from the past.

It's just annoying that the fandom takes some really deeply complex characters and boils them down to "everyone deserves to die" instead of struggling with the actual nuances of what it means for each character to be human. But I suppose that critical thinking is a bit much to ask of people 😂

[bethanydelleman]

Colonel Fitzwilliam: Is it Canon?

Colonel Fitzwilliam’s name is Richard

Fanon (I’m using this term to cover adaptations and JAFF), not canon. His name is never given. I like to think it’s Darcy because that would be hilarious.

Colonel Fitzwilliam is physically attractive

Fanon not canon.

Colonel Fitzwilliam, who led the way, was about thirty, not handsome, but in person and address most truly the gentleman.

Apparently many people found the 1995 Col. F. handsome, leading to him being dubbed “Colonel HotPants” on Dwiggie, but 2005 shows a more realistic not hot:

I also suppose that Colonel Fitzwilliam is often changed to hot because he’s the only single man left in Pride & Prejudice and people want to marry him off. Come on guys, the not handsome men deserve happiness too!

Colonel Fitzwilliam and Darcy are best buddies

Fanon, not canon. As much as Colonel Fitzwilliam is co-guardian with Darcy, he is not fully in his confidence. Col. F doesn't even know who Darcy saved from an imprudent marriage, he’s guessing:

I only suspected it to be Bingley from believing him the kind of young man to get into a scrape of that sort

Now if Darcy is just reserved or he knows Colonel F. is a gossip is unknown, but he would likely have told a true friend the name of his friend.

I suspect Darcy told Colonel Fitzwilliam something when he asked him to be a character reference about Wickham to Elizabeth, but it might have been as simple as, “Wickham is living in Miss Bennet’s neighbourhood, can you answer any questions she might have?”. I really doubt he confided the failed proposal.

Colonel Fitzwilliam swashes or buckles/is a military hero

Fanon, not canon. We know absolutely nothing about Colonel Fitzwilliam’s military career. Pride & Prejudice is set during the Napoleonic Wars and Colonel Fitzwilliam may have fought in France or in the colonies, but it’s just as likely he’s been stationed at home. Especially since he’s from the nobility!

Arthur Wellesley, who would become the Duke of Wellington, did not see active combat until he was one rank short of Colonel, and he went abroad on purpose because he was rejected by a woman he loved. 

Colonel Fitzwilliam is a great guy

It’s hinted in Northanger Abbey that Captain Tilney is stationed in London and would be subduing riots. It makes sense not to have an eldest son in the actual line of fire. Similarly, we are told Col. F is “the younger son” of the Earl. If there is only an heir and a spare, they probably want to keep him alive.

Colonel Fitzwilliam wanted to duel Wickham

Fanon not canon.

We don't know what Colonel Fitzwilliam did when he learned about the Georgiana/Wickham affair other than keep it under wraps. It's clear Lady Catherine is unaware. But while dueling was common, we don't know if he's that sort of guy.

I was writing a JAFF once with an immoral Bingley and this idea is so strong in fanon that I was told Darcy was stupid not to "unleash" Colonel Fitzwilliam on Bingley. Unleash what??? We don't know what he can do!

Unknown.

Darcy Sr. did appoint Col. F as co-guardian to Georgiana, but we know how flawed his judgement is *cough Wickham cough* so that isn’t quite a recommendation of character. All we really know about Colonel Fitzwilliam is that Elizabeth likes him, and sorry Elizabeth, your judgement isn’t much of a recommendation either, especially since she compares him with Wickham!

It was plain to them all that Colonel Fitzwilliam came because he had pleasure in their society, a persuasion which of course recommended him still more; and Elizabeth was reminded by her own satisfaction in being with him, as well as by his evident admiration, of her former favourite, George Wickham; and though, in comparing them, she saw there was less captivating softness in Colonel Fitzwilliam’s manners, she believed he might have the best informed mind.

Colonel Fitzwilliam cannot afford to marry Elizabeth

Yeah, Elizabeth likes him because it’s clear he likes her. Another example of her being biased.

Colonel Fitzwilliam has a great relationship with Georgiana

Unknown.

The guardianship is probably more to protect Georgiana's fortune and make sure she marries well than to give her an extra parent. Col. F. doesn't say much about Georgiana and clearly hasn't been spending too much time with her since he hardly knows the Bingleys and they've been in company with the Darcys fairly frequently.

The fact is it just doesn't come up in the small section we have with him.

Unclear, but likely he can. Charlotte certainly thinks he can afford it:

In her kind schemes for Elizabeth, she sometimes planned her marrying Colonel Fitzwilliam. He was, beyond comparison, the pleasantest man: he certainly admired her, and his situation in life was most eligible

When Colonel Fitzwilliam calls himself poor, Elizabeth calls him out on it and he doesn’t refute her:

“He likes to have his own way very well,” replied Colonel Fitzwilliam. “But so we all do. It is only that he has better means of having it than many others, because he is rich, and many others are poor. I speak feelingly. A younger son, you know, must be inured to self-denial and dependence.”

“In my opinion, the younger son of an earl can know very little of either. Now, seriously, what have you ever known of self-denial and dependence? When have you been prevented by want of money from going wherever you chose or procuring anything you had a fancy for?”

“These are home questions—and perhaps I cannot say that I have experienced many hardships of that nature. But in matters of greater weight, I may suffer from the want of money. Younger sons cannot marry where they like.”

“Unless where they like women of fortune, which I think they very often do.”

“Our habits of expense make us too dependent, and there are not many in my rank of life who can afford to marry without some attention to money.”

All of these seems to suggest that Colonel F. could marry Elizabeth, but he wants to maintain his standard of life and that requires a larger fortune. Also, most military men received some sort of allowance from their parents/family and he might have that cut off if he married against his parent’s wishes. (The military didn’t actually pay very well.) All of this considered, he could marry but he doesn’t want to drop his expensive habits.

Now we do know he liked Elizabeth, “Colonel Fitzwilliam seemed really glad to see them: anything was a welcome relief to him at Rosings; and Mrs. Collins’s pretty friend had, moreover, caught his fancy very much.” and I do think he did the gentlemanly thing by letting her know that he didn’t want to marry her, but I still think Colonel Fitzwilliam is mercenary.

If his mercenary ambitions are justified or not is for you to decide as the reader. I think Colonel Fitzwilliam is part of the question of where we draw the line between avarice and prudence.

But really, the Colonel is a plot device to make Elizabeth aware that Darcy was the main player in seperating Jane and Bingley. He doesn't have a whole lot of depth and much of what people imagine about him is not supported by the actual book.

[ultimateplaylistmaker]

waitttt can you elaborate on the similarities between taka and kokichi? it’s such an interesting comparison

*vibrates* YES I CAN ABSOLUTELY ELABORATE

Ishimaru and Kokichi are both white uniform wearing leaders, both of whom he see problems in society and around them and devote themselves to fixing it. They follow their own set of rules that while are completely comprehensible and understanding to them, tends to leave others in confusion. Both of them (likely) had somewhat tragic upbringings with Ishimaru living in poverty and kokichi (likely) having his own tragic backstory of his own. They're both people who when faced with a motive about keeping information secret immediately went "so we should share them all with everyone" Ishimaru unfortunately was shot down while Kokichi when being denied attempted to force it anyways because its just the right move.

Both have positions of power and ADMITTEDLY this one's more headcanon but I really think Kokichi would just straight up not like the talent system, Kokichi likes chaos and unpredictability, he would find the talent system fucking boring and I cannot be told otherwise. Kokichi's a smart boy who likes interesting things, not to mention he leads a group of people who likely aren't ultimates, you cannot tell me Kokichi would like a system that discriminates against most members of DICE.

You know who else CANONICALLY doesn't like the talent system? Kiyotaka Ishimaru, who has a LOT to say about how geniuses aren't real and how its effort that deserves to be rewarded instead. In the V3 bonus mode, Kokichi even finds Ishimaru's speeches interesting, even if he cloaks it in talk about how as an evil leader it's what he wants to destroy.

The only real true difference is that Ishimaru wants to change society from the INSIDE modeling a better behavior and enforcing change through the systems. While Kokichi wants to change society from the OUTSIDE, putting pressure on systems and actively showing their flaws as a mean to either make it bend and change, or crumple and fall apart.

So if they were able to come together under a common goal, they'd be pretty damn unstoppable as Ishimaru creates change and inspiration on the inside that can feed off the pressure and doubt that Kokichi provides. Plus I think they'd have a lot to learn from each other, Kokichi can help Ishimaru learn how to bend or even break rules for a greater purpose of changing the rules or revealing injustice, and Ishimaru can help give Kokichi a greater understanding of the inside of systems and why people would follow them

Plus could you IMAGINE those two in a debate? It would be fucking FASCINATING! I can just imagine them arguing philosophy and hegel and stoicism and the point of society and all that fun stuff as Kokichi runs from Ishimaru who is trying to give him a detention. It's a good dynamic! They're very similar people who came to different conclusions to achieve SIMILAR GOALS, I LOVE IT

Plus Ishimaru is very much not the top to just go "its just kokichi let it go" because Ishimaru is the kind of person who challenges Celeste to games constantly because he's determined to prove that by studying and skill he can beat her talent, because Ishimaru is one of the few people who sees through that talent isn't everything, he even says things like

"You(Makoto) and me, we're just normal people. We know what it means to have to make an effort."

"I figured this school would be full of geniuses. I mean, I thought everyone would be my enemy."

"So we have to work hard to build a society where those who put in the most effort are properly rewarded!"

"Effort is everything! That's the only way to fix anything in this world! And I have to prove that to all the ordinary people out there so they'll keep on trying!"

"I have to become the ordinary man who can surpass any genius!"

You can't tell me an ultimate with such an unusual mindset wouldn't capture Kokichi's attention, and you can't tell me Ishimaru wouldn't be able to see the sheer amount of effort Kokichi puts into things even if Kokichi tries to make it seem effortless. I think they could balance each other out really nicely, and push the other to improve and refine their beliefs and morality.

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

In Defence of 4/4 EP.12

(from someone who didn't like it very much)

I've made an entirely different post about people's reactions to the ending so I won't address any of that here, if you want that post. Bang! Here. But this is not what this post is about. This post is about recognizing the good in something I personally would've preferred had gone a different route. So let's get into it.

(long post, guys, Imma spare you, people who wanna scroll past 😉)

1st things 1st: yes. I know. The narrative about growth and adapting and change would've been so great had Day not gotten the transplant. It would've paid off so well for the main couple and all the other characters too. And it would send out such a nice message about how disabled people are whole, despite their disabilities. How happiness is possible for everyone, without restraints, no matter their body or mind. BUT that's not what we got. And that can be upsetting, I know I'm a little upset myself, but, and considering the ongoing fandom discussion, is it all that bad that we got something different? For once, I do not think so.

I think the very first thing that needs to be addressed is what is said by @daymork in this post:

"the hardships, the journey, even all the good that happened during allllll that still matters after recovery"

Or: just because Day gets his sight back, that doesn't mean the story being told is suddenly useless. Because a story about how people are flawed and scarred and they need to grow past certain issues to enjoy life again or they need to gain new perspectives is never useless. Society keeps showing us that assholes who cannot see past their own belly button or that people who are restrained by their traumas are still out there, so how could a narrative about growth ever be pointless?

Futhermore, it is a crucial part of the characters' arcs, even past Day's blindless being involved. Day ties his self-worth to being capable and always doing what he is supposed to. Night is careless and doesn't like abiding by the rules, even when it inconveniences others. Their mom has a bad case of "mama knows best", she's inflexible, what she wants, she gets. Mhok is traumatized by his sister's death and he can't move on, can't let go. (and so on, but I think you get the point) Regardless of the challenges that come with adjusting to Day's disability, all of them were already facing challenges that made their lives harder. Because, sure, we don't see it, but everyone always has a struggle. They sure had too.

And now you say, well, Dante, doesn't that make Day's blindness a plot device used just to make these characters better and then discarded when no longer needed? And sure, yeah, I think that argument can definitely be made and it is solid, I won't deny that. But I also think that the way you read it depends on what you believe this story is about. Because, if you think this story is about Day's struggle with blindness, then sure, yeah. But you can also see it as a story about maturing and overcoming hardships or a love story about two people who, like everyone else, have to adjust to learn how to adjust with each other. Or a story about different types of love and how they connect and overlap or change. Or a story about perspectives and points of view and how every single person is gonna look at the same things with different eyes and what that means for the way people live and how they relate to one another. Or a story about what makes a person and about how, no matter the way people see you, you are still a person and you can make your own choices, despite everything. Or something else, even, Idk. I'm not the owner of opinions and I'm not trying to be. My point is: it's all about individual perception and understanding.

Regardless, even if you do see that particular part as ableist, does it erase all the other stuff the series does? Does it erase the point is makes about not babyfying disabled people? Does it erase the point it makes about seeing disabled people as people who deserve no other feeling but pity? Does it erase the point it makes that Day was living well, even without Mhok or his sight? I don't think so. It might undermine it but it does not erase it.

And I think that leads us to the most important part of this discussion, actually: maybe the point was, all along that, in order for Day to be able to be able to get his transplant (narratively, of course) he needed not to need it. He needed to be able to be okay with not having it. He needed to learn to live without it and be happy. Because, in the end, what problems were actually solved by the transplant, really? None, I would argue.

Day and his mom, Day and Night, Night and their mom, Night and Porjai, Mhok and Rhamon, Mhok and Rung, Mhok and Day... As well as their internal conflicts (Mhok was a successful chef, Rhamon a good mother, Night a good husband, Day a librarian, etc...), all that was solved before that. The transplant truly didn't change anything besides what it changed: that Day now has the physical ability to see again. "No, Dante, it allowed him to go to the mountain again!", I hear you say. And sure, it did, but that wasn't new: he'd been there before when he was 100% blind. And it's not more magical when he can see than when he cannot. In fact, I would argue it is the other way around.

The 2nd time they're there they don't even care that much about the mountain or the sunset. They care about their relationship and what it means to be together again and they care about the journey. That's what they talk about. "Oh, but Mhok talks about how him there at the mountain is no longer the last image Day is gonna see". Yeah. But that, I would say, is more about how that is the case because Mhok is now there to stay (he even says so himself) rather than the fact Day can physically see him.

So, what purpose does it serve in the narrative? Is it just a "and now he can see because, sure, let him have it, it's the end, idc"? Could be, I mean, yeah, I think you can make a strong argument that this is just an ableist way of a "happy ending" but I also want to point out that that might not necessarily be the case (other than what I'm gonna explain next, even so, because, as @e-lisard pointed in this post - among others that I've seen do so but I only remember faer, some disabled people prefer stories where there is a cure for all or some of their disabilities). But also because, if nothing changes for Day (except he can play Badminton again, which, as someone who loves Badminton myself, like yeah, pretty big thing) then maybe that's the point being made: that, in the end, the thing that Day so desperately wanted in the beginning of the story has become almost meaningless now because he already had everything before. And that his happiness, unlike what he and everyone around him had previously thought, was not all dependent on his physical ability to see, but rather on his (and everyone else's) psychological/emotional ability to see. And once they unlocked that, nothing else was really all that relevant.

So, of course, you can have whatever opinion you want and I still stand by the fact that I'd rather not have him recover his sight because I like the implications of that better but, I think, the ending we were given is not all bad and some good things can be taken from it, especially if you see it as a comparison made to highlight the fact that Day's physical ability to see was not at all relevant to his happiness and that the story was really all about the journey.

If you want to add or disagree (politely) or something feel free to use this post. Comment or reblog or whatever. I'll be happy to keep this discussion going just as long as we can all be respectful.

Other than that I hope you enjoyed this and I hope you have a great day!! All the love 💜💜💜

PS: People I tagged, if you'd like not to be tagged pls tell me, I just did so because I didn't want credit for things that I did not think of or state myself. Cheers! <3

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

im pretty sure I gained weight I’m freaking out

Anon, as with the other asks I answered tonight, I'm going to preface this by saying I hope you were able to work through your distress okay at the time you sent this. It's been sitting in my inbox for a bit just because I have not had the spoons to answer asks and am kinda working through them bit by bit.

This is a reminder as always that although I am not always able to answer things instantly, I do want everyone to feel safe venting whatever they need to vent in my inbox if it helps.

Anon, I know for damn sure you're not alone. The society we live in makes us so scared about the progress of time and our changing bodies even though that's really completely normal. People and their bodies have been changed by the course of their progressing lives since the beginning of time, and it's never been a character flaw. But it's so scary to gain weight when you have an eating disorder specifically focused on gaining weight. I'm sure many of us recovering have experienced similar terror of gaining.

So if this is still something you're struggling with, I'd like to invite you to take a breath. Give your body some love. Remember that you're still alive to eat and grow and change and become so much more than what you were told perfection looked like. Remember that bodies fluctuate over time. It's okay to gain weight, there's absolutely nothing bad or wrong about it. In fact, if you're in recovery from restriction, it might be a healthy and positive change, one that allows your brain to shine brighter, your eyes to come alive, your body to engage in your passions with energy and real depth. And even knowing all that, your ED is probably still screaming in your ear that this is really scary. And you know what? You can tell your ED right back that it's okay to feel that way. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to feel however you need to feel to achieve healing, because it's not always radiant and beautiful and awesome. Healing means you learn to tackle the hard parts of life too.

Honestly, acknowledging a changing body is never easy. A new wrinkle, a gray hair, redistribution of body shape, etc...all these things happen in life and represent an era that will not come back. That's terrifying, and guess what? The fear of that is so human and normal. It's okay to experience and acknowledge it. It's understandable that we spend so long struggling to fight it rather than living in the moment and enjoying the life we have now. I hope you're able to do that eventually, anon, even if it's not so easy right now.

[beautiful-lights-in-the-night]

"Society goes forward."

I don't agree.

I'd personally say that just because technology goes forward doesn't mean that people do as well. In fact, some people go backward and I believe that today's literature more than enough proves it. I may not be an expert, but every time I read something old, I take a moment to stop and think: "What happened to the art of writing?". It seems like every book I see people read is about the level of "spice" (aka how much perverted things it includes). Don't get me wrong, there were many problematic and perverted things even back in the day, but I feel like it wasn't as popular as it is now. I find it very sad how when I go to school, most of my classmates read a lot of things that include disgusting topics (I don't mean only perverted things since I can understand that people have their own tastes, but also uncomfortable and illegal things). What happened to thinking about life? What happened to the meaningful writing? What happened to the kind of writing that made us question the world around us? Most writers I see are only focused on the perverted side of human desires. What about the other side? What about the desires that want to know more about our society? What about the desires that want us to know more about the world we live in? Some old books are boring, yes. I won't argue with that. But it may be because you were forced to read it by your teacher or someone else. What if you grabbed an old book that YOU are interested in? You would probably see what I mean. I know a poet who wrote beautiful poems about his dead daughter. His name was Jan Kochanowski (yes, a Polish poet). Our teacher told us to learn one of his poems. Was it annoying to try and remember all of it? Yes, but other than that the poems were beautiful. I know a writer who wrote a beautiful masterpiece of a book. His name was Antoine De Saint-Exupéry. He wrote a beautiful book called "The Little Prince". As someone who doesn't cry often, this made me tear up. It's a beautiful story about adults' flaws, children's innocence, love, friendship, maturing and letting your inner child out. My favorite book. I highly recommend it! I wish people still made books like this. Or maybe they do? Maybe they do, but are not as popular as the "spicy" ones, so not many people know about them? But the problem might also be in the lack of words. We stopped being poetic because it started being "cringe". We adore it when it's said by an attractive fictional character, but we hate it when it happens in real life. For me, it doesn't matter if the poem is "professional". What matters is that someone at least tried because they were seeing the same beauty in poetry that I was. Even if something went wrong. I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone. No, God forbid!!! I can admit that there are many people who are more funny, kind, smart and mature than I am. It's impossible to be the best after all, isn't it? In fact, I can also admit that most people find me boring (due to my interests which include philosophy). I just hope that our literature won't lose all the beauty it once had. But at the end of the day, I'm just a random person on Tumblr who shares their opinion! And to any begginer writers who I may have offended by this: Don't worry! Remember to practice when something doesn't seem right to you! You don't have to be born a pro! Never give up and you will reach your dreams sooner or later :)

[katyspersonal]

@ Fellow people with BPD: if after a friendship got broken with you (or it even was just a bad interaction) you are told that you are toxic, abusive, have been horribly manipulative, are harmful and other stuff like this - check the facts.

Talk with people that like you and had no drastic problems with you so far, read up into what IS the difference between unhealthy relationship and abusive relationship, if you can - seek a mature and unbiased person to properly reflect on your actions. If you somehow got blessed to have a nice therapist (like I did) - TRUST them when they justify how you aren't a monster. Apparently we are very easily convinced that we are irredeemable harmful abominations that should never be trusted. We get called abusive and we BELIEVE it. Why? Well, for the same reason we fucked up that friendship - because we have 0 clue about emotional boundaries and what defines harm and manipulation. We just can't know better because constantly being disturbed and hurt is our NORMAL state of being, but we are inclined to believe EVERYTHING we are told about how bad we are. We just want to agree because it feels like the only way to not cause any more harm, but it is not.

Odds are, you are not a harmful abusive monster just because you don't take rejection and abandonment very well, or because you sometimes can snap or vent too much, or because you let people know when you hurt yourself or want to die. People who do like you are not "unwitting victims who just can't tell how you are an awful person that better stay away from everyone", they simply have different boundaries and different temperament. Some people might just feel less bothered by your mood swings, some people can't help but feel bad for you rather than creeped out, some people know what you tell them when you spiral is not true, there are people with their own issues, there are people who are immune to strange and erratic behaviors, there are very emotional people who consider frequent fights normal, even.

Don't let anyone convince you that you should just rot in loneliness and that every single negative emotion you display after being put "on the watch" is somehow evidence that you can't heal or be good. The practice of attempting to exclude and throw away a person for being mentally ill in a concerning way will NEVER, EVER be okay. It will also never be okay for some entitled ableist freaks to try and learn every single detail about our personal life to find more "evidence" that we should not be loved or trusted. Mentally ill or not, not a SINGLE human being can permanently get rid of some natural flaw, they can only control and suppress it but it will show up sometimes. People without BPD also might have poor impulse control, they also can get too clingy, they can also go insane from fear of abandonment, they can also cope with pain in unhealthy way, they can also end up manipulative. But they do not buy attempts to be thrown away, they realize they have a flaw and still seek place in society. We unfortunately have many flaws, but we should demand being held by the same standards as other people rather than being written down as "too defective". None of us deserves to be starved off affection and attention just because we play life hard mode and mess up a lot while trying to find love.

Abusers do not seek 'love', they seek CONTROL. That's a huge one.

I hope that people you unfortunately have hurt can find healing and peace, and naturally they have right to leave you without a chance for forgiveness, but they can NOT speak for people that love you no matter what, they can NOT speak for "society" in general, and they can NOT speak for YOU.

[crackedlemonade]

Interdimensional Part 1

This year was a relatively productive year in the realm of art compared to previous years. I attribute that shift to ultimately hitting burnout and taking a step back a few months into hopping into the world of twitter where things are not funged and tokens are non fungible. When I joined that space I didn't have a plan and things quickly became overwhelming personally and I realized I had to do some additional personal work. I feel like the past several years have been realizing that I need to unburden myself and also unlearn a lot of things I was taught. This is where this next collection of art pieces comes into play.

I'll start with the one piece that took me the longest and then will cover the others. I started with this piece years ago, not sure exactly when but in my mind I would say about 5 years ago. For years I have painted pictures with the subject screaming and I always found it interesting the individual takeaways others get when looking at pieces like that. Ultimately the subject has always been screaming because of the frustration of being misunderstood. Oftentimes I felt that people never understood the things I said and it's a genuinely frustrating feeling just wanting to be heard and people seemingly just wait for their turn to talk instead of actively listening and having constructive discourse.

I created a few sketches in college where an angel would be losing their wings inspired by the song by Rob Dougan Furious angels. I ultimately did not turned those sketches into paintings. It wasn't until I learned about Labeling theory, if a person is labeled as a deviant by society they are more likely to engage in deviant behavior, that looked at myself and realized what effect that had on me. It even put into perspective a lot of my doubts were things that were told to me when I was younger that I internalized. I had my own foot on the brakes wondering why I wasn't moving.

Art was a ways of me making peace and for a long time I was in an environment that did not support that. My artistic interests have never been limited to one medium, I had music classes in elementary and middle school and I was taught by a band when I was 16 in keyboard and bass. I've had an interest in video production and I have had an interest in creating drawing and paintings. For a long time I was always told I was doing too much and I had to pick only one thing. It messed with me because it was hard to pick one thing. Getting into NFTs and encountering other artists I realized I didn't have to pick one and I could find ways to combine them which ultimately is something that I have been trying to figure out for years.

This painting represents that to me. It represents both what you hear and what you internalized and ultimately project as other people's thoughts. This is why two heads are blowing smoke and the other two aren't. However, that doesn't matter to the subject, it's all the same from their perspective.

I also didn't just want this next piece to be a still image, my first collection of NFTs are paintings that I love but in navigating the Twitter verse I wanted to do things with my pieces that become an experience. This is why I learned to glitch using audacity, I felt that glitching is something that could represent the flaws of perception. Our memories aren't perfect, sometimes we combine events, people and ideas. The negative talk you might have heard as a child becomes negative self talk. The people who in your mind are holding you back is just your foot on the gas pedal and the brake at the same time.

For music I purchased Royalty Free Loop packs through Magix Music maker. What caused this painting to get put into production hell for so long was the composition. The smoke was a this year idea and before that I didn't know what else visually to use that would connect everything. This piece will be coming soon to Opensea.

[kaetchup]

rei sakuma idol story 1

rei's first idol story, and my first real post on tumblr! i know that this one's already localized on engstars, so this one's mostly just ripped from engstars with some minor changes for readability.

♪ obligatory disclaimer! none of this is mine, i'm just sharing it for my love of our idol boys. all content belongs to happy elements ♪

rei: ... ♪

Oh? Well, well, if it isn't our young lady Producer. What could have possibly brought you here? This dormitory should be out of bounds to a lady like you.

A broken taboo in this world induced either divine retribution or direful curses. You may have already invited the devil after you! Kekeke ♪

Yet now is not the time for pleasant vampire chats.

You seem most troubled. Very well, I, Rei Sakuma, shall lend a hand.

I'm always indebted to you, young lady, so allow me to return the favor. Truth be told, demons are much more genuine and earnest than humans.

Hm? Is it inappropriate if I call you "young lady"?

Because the intimacy between producers and idols will leave a negative impression on fans?

Hmm, you are correct. I have yet to fully comprehend the appropriate distance humans keep between each other...

I have, for ages hitherto, considered myself a longer, a beast inhabiting the dark.

But people around me, including you, warmly recieved me as one of your kind...

This is why I can finally breathe fresh air and wear a smile.

Words cannot express my gatefulness. I would do anything for you.

As age has deprived me of all joy except giving allowances to children ♪

Kekeke. It was wrong of me to treat you as a child.

I admit that it is one flaw of mine to treat those around me liek young children.

It proved nowhere near unpleasant back at Yumenosaki Academy.

But now that I have become a part of society...

Suddenly I find myself surrounded by older adults.

Thus I should exercise care and treat everyone as equals.

My sincere gratitude for reminding me, Producer. Please don't hesitate to point out my inadequacies.

... There, there. Don't give me that look, will you? I didn't keep you my audience for nothing.

I have arranged everything on my phone while talking.

As much as I don't like machines, they sure are convenient... What concerns me, on the other hand, is that such comfort brought by out advanced civilization might eventually lead to the degeneration of humanity.

Yet this is in a way evolution as well. Adaptation knows no discrimination.

Change is much more desirable and valuable than stasis.

Kekeke, I see... My investigation has enlightened me on what happened.

The right person fares better than the internet in a time like this.

There was an idol drunk at a banquet who kept whining about not being able to walk...

And you had no choice but to accompany him back to the dorms in a taxi.

I believe such work is more manager than producer...

Could it be that you are too used to undertaking everything by yourself?

It will help if you recognize such a demand as peculiar. However reluctant I am to find fault with anyone for the past...

Idols are no saints. Things might have gone wrong under such circumstances.

How could you possibly tell he was not planning something unforgivable under the pretense of intoxication?

Though you are free to believe that an idol would not do anything that will upset their fans...

Unfortunately, not all people are well-intended. Never had a single second passed without accidents or incidents.

Do take more care of yourself. I would turn over in my grave if something happened to you.

I would most certainly live with indelible regrets until my last breath.

Is it your intention to leave me an eternal scar?

Kekeke. That was a bit harsh of me... You were the one frightened and thus hurt.

I shouldn't utter anything judgemental like that.

You are a smart child, and I am sure that you have learned your lesson with a fright.

Hmm. I will take care of this certain problematic idol.

Even if he meant no harm, even if he inconvenienced you inadvertently... I can't sit by and watch.

I will discipline him. My standing in the industry enables me to do so to whomever he might be.

Well, I hope you are wiser but not sadder after today, and that you get back to work as usual.

Forget about the annoyances... but make sure that they don't happen again.

Pinky promise, then... ♪

Hmm, good girl. I will walk you outside. There is no need to act as though you were a thief about to break a window.

I have cleared our surroundings, so no one would see us.

This way, young lady. I will take you to safety... ♪

...

... See? You should pay attention to what I'm saying. You cannot possibly read my mind-

What if I, like the devil, were to harm you?

If you let your guard down like this, there is no promise that I wouldn't sink my teeth into you from behind...

As someone who nearly paid for your kindness, you really should be more suspicious of others.

Well, I presume this is your virtue. How sad it would be if we should start to suspect everybody...

Innocence is never a sin.

But do please remember this much- we idols love you, and we are concerned about you.

I, not as a colleague, but as an individual human being, pray for your happiness.

For our sake, please take care of yourself.

Very well. Let's end such heavy talk if you have kept my words in mind.

Return to where you belong. I will escort you as long as you wish.

Now then, Producer... Enjoy your walk with the vampire on this beautiful, serene night ♪

[rndyounghowze]

Review 531: Hoyaman

Written/Directed By:

Teruaki Shoji

Presented By: Japan Society

@jsfilmnyc tinyurl.com/JS-Family-Flux-Tix

Who knew that the simple Hoya could become a symbol of losing the courage and intelligence to move on with your life? In the very beginning, we learn that Hoyas move until they stay put, lose their brains, lose their spines, and then go nowhere until they are plucked by fishermen to be eaten. If that isn’t a metaphor for something we don’t know what is.

This was a beautifully shot, simply plotted film. One of the things that we love about this film is that the plot is very easy to understand even with all the layers to the story. That means that you get to dive into the plot and just have fun. Shoji used tension and longing very well. Our characters were battling hunger, grief, poverty, and a whole range of needs. The entire film rotated around how our characters battled needs like hunger despite PTSD. At first view, you think they are fighting against the island but when you look more closely you start to realize it’s a battle for self-identity. Then when they finally figure out what they want. there’s a screaming animated jazz explosion (seriously it was one of the best shots in the film).

Teruaki Shoji

The filming of tension in this movie is really superb. The camera becomes a vessel for their emotions focusing in on their faces and telling us that what the character wants to say is not coming out of their mouths. Or it shows us that a fight isn’t about violence but a battle of wills. Using the camera the director shows the chasm in between people quite literally. That means that when the characters finally do touch it has the most cathartic impact. In film when a character chooses to have their characters that far apart onscreen it’s for a reason. People are much easier to film when they are standing close together.

We haven’t seen a film in a long while that has used a small cast like this in such an impactful way. Each one of them had the talent and charisma to carry a whole film on their own yet combined they meant something much more. With these five characters, you had everything you needed. You have an outsider coming to the island for the first time as a means of escape, a duo of brothers who don’t know anything besides the island, and two elders who have to be makeshift parents to anyone who needs it.

This is a movie about family and community. It is also a movie about trauma and healing. The film brings us to the island and makes us fall in love with it even as we are told that we are trapped by it. That’s because it also clues us into the twelve-year journey of overcoming the tragedy of the sea swallowing up your family and livelihood. Yet it’s also not about moving past tragedy it’s about moving past ourselves. Each of our characters learns how to embrace their flaws and in turn, embrace each other for everything that they are. Whether it’s a writer learning to own up to their mistakes or a brother learning how to carry his weight each had to take a hard look at themselves and discover their own truth.

[whippedcloudsofcream]

The Smile horror movie,it's just so real,the helplessness,the despair of the Protagonist,how nearly no one is helping her and in the end, she died because of it,she died because her loved ones decided to abandon her at her worst time

It's one of the best movies I watched this year. I love how it talks and presents how trauma is an infectious curse,how you can hardly escape it and eventually you'll be consumed by it if you're not strong enough

It's also important to note how badly society treats people with mental issues/illnesses. Truly it's disgusting,the Protag's sister who should have been there for her, literally made her into the wrong one when she clearly stated she has problems, I remember she even complained about how the Protag kept bringing up her old trauma even though keep burying it and ignoring it never really help it and it was an obvious call for help, but no her sister can't help but be bitchy about, basically told her to stop acting like a child and grow up, her sister got a happy family life already, why care about a crazy sister right? She never did care about the Protag before anyway

The sister doesn't even try to help or anything, she just keeps excusing herself by acting she went through problems but god helps us when her sister who also has problems say anything about it

The Protag's fiancé couldn't be any more useless and terrible than he was. He also acted like the Protag was the wrong one here and since she appears to be mentally unstable, he showed his true colours by saying he already knew about her mental health history, he had to know since he needed to know what he's getting into, basically saying: "If you're a crazy bitch,that would affect my benefits",I mean who would want a crazy wife right? Fucking asshole

Sure he knows she had problems,but he decided to ignore it too cuz "we don't talk about these things". Yeah and look where that got us,an insanity virus that will keep spreading and spreading

This movie is the best at showing us how Society hates people with "flaws", it hits home how even when you have issues, your "loved ones" would insult you and make you the "problem", calling you a "whiny bitch" for it, it's an actual thing and people really need to get their shits together on it or else, no one would ever really feel safe about revealing their problems or sharing their feelings on things

This is why victims keep their mouths shut, because no one ever wants to listen

I know that feeling, I went through that before, that's why I never even talked about what I like with my own family, they'll just insult those things like they always do, saying how "I do dumb things" and "watch dumb things". No wonder why I'm so introverted

I’m sorry your family treated you that way, I hope they learn to apologize to you for it omg

As for the smile film, I know from fans of it that it definitely had a very tragic and sad message, many of them wishing the ending had been happier even tho it was “necessary” for the theme of it 😭😭

Also her “friends” and “family” annoyed the hell out of me and I felt bad for that guy she also bothered that had survived because she doomed him too 😭😭

I’m honestly annoyed at how the ending was like Oh No! the cop bf is infected now because like….he can literally shoot anyone on a crime scene that saw what he sees and he wouldn’t particularly be punished for it omg But then again, he’s not the smartest of the bunch so he probs wouldn’t be able to figure it out and they can’t show that in the film because of censorship and copaganda 😐

Other than those inconsistencies, Smile is definitely a noteworthy film 😭😭

[almostnoisydonut]

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓢𝓮𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯

Some sayings might be well-intended, but that doesn’t make them true, let alone easy to hear. Case in point: “You can’t find love until you learn to love yourself.”

The people who come to me for help tend to hate that thought. “If I knew how to love myself more,” they say, “I would have started long ago. In fact, I wouldn’t even be in therapy if I had that figured out.”

Improving self-esteem seems to some to be an impossible task. But each time, as we explore it together, similar themes come to the foreground. After years of figuring it out with people from all sorts of backgrounds and at all levels of self-confidence, I’ve come up with a few main components of esteem work.

Here are the key factors, in my experience:

The first step toward liking yourself is accepting all parts of yourself. Most people are at least slightly perfectionistic, with an unrealistic expectation that there’s someone out there who can be right or good all the time. (Not only is this impossible, it would make you insufferable.) Self-esteem, on the other hand, is based on unconditional love, which means you expect and allow yourself to mess up sometimes and are gentle with yourself when you do.

It seems simple, but it can be one of the hardest acts of self-love to master. We grow up in a society that is always telling us how to look, how to live and even how to feel. If you’re wondering how to fall in love with yourself, the first step is to give yourself permission to be human. You don’t have to be a super-mom, a fitness model or a billionaire to be worthy of love.

This is very different from excusing bad behavior or never asking yourself to grow and change. Instead, it’s about having compassion and kindness toward yourself when you fail, with the knowledge that if you want to change, using a gentle desire to do better is far more productive than viciously beating yourself up.

You can’t love what you don’t know, so an important step to increasing self-confidence is to learn who you truly are. Often, by early adulthood, people have created a blanket definition of themselves based on their experiences and what others have told them. “I’m shy” or “I have an anger issue” become messages they’ve accepted and no longer question. Even if you’re shy or angry, though, this is only one small part of you.

Another way of not seeing or knowing your full self is when you pick and choose what you let others see. By showing only the parts of yourself that you think look best to others, you hide other pieces which are equally important and valid.

When you take time to examine who you are and who you want to be, you get more clarity about all of you—not just the elements that others have liked or disliked. You can gain insight into how you see yourself: your goals and ambitions, your flaws and failures, where you would like to grow. When you have all the pieces straight, you can start to accept them and integrate them into a real, full picture of yourself.

Your physical state – your posture, breath and movement – is the key to your emotional state. If you don’t feel confident, adjust your body. Straighten your spine and throw your shoulders back. Raise your head high. Smile. Get in a power pose, like standing with your head raised and your arms in a “V” shape or crossed behind your head. These actions send signals to your brain that you’re proud and confident. And when you feel that way, it’s easy to fall in love with yourself.

It’s true that your most important relationship is with yourself, but that doesn’t mean allowing negativity into your life. Surround yourself with people who care about you and think the best of you. Use the cardinal rules of love to create healthy relationships that bring positivity to your life, and let go of any relationships that aren’t supportive and caring. You won’t just fall in love with yourself – you’ll find your whole life improves.

We’ve all heard that we need to love ourselves before we can truly love anyone else. When you don’t love yourself first, you’ll tend to get lost in relationships. You may take on the qualities your partner wants you to have instead of staying true to yourself, find yourself unable to set boundaries or become very needy and always want to be around your partner. This can work at first, but ultimately you’ll end up driving most partners away. Part of knowing how to love yourself in a relationship is being able to identify and communicate your needs and having the confidence to fly solo once in a while. 

Self-care and self-love are not the same, but they do go hand in hand. When you love yourself, you treat yourself kindly, both emotionally and physically. You wouldn’t want a person you love to live in a stressed state of mind or to avoid doing things they love – so why allow yourself to do those things? Establishing habits of self-care, like eating healthy and exercising can train your brain to think positively. One of the best ways to love yourself is to build a life you love and also to surround yourself with love. Learn how to love yourself in a relationship so that you can create healthy, long-lasting partnerships. Know that you deserve happiness.

Stress and negativity are enemies of self-love. They can cause you to feel burnt out and alone, and they won’t leave any room in your life for learning how to love yourself. That’s why it’s so important to take the time to create joyful habits and do things that you love. Put on your favorite music and dance around the kitchen. Play a game with your kids or grandkids. Immerse yourself in a good book. Go for a hike and get out in nature. Give yourself a chance to get out of your own head, and you just might find you’re falling in love with the new, spontaneous you.

Finding your purpose is the ultimate way to learn how to fall in love with yourself. Purpose gives us a reason to get up in the morning and makes us a part of something larger than ourselves. It fulfills several of our 6 Human Needs, including significance, growth and contribution. But purpose rarely reaches out and knocks on our door. To find your purpose, you need to be honest with yourself. What are you most excited about in your life? What brings you joy? Once you uncover meaning in your life, you’ll start to see the bigger picture – and stop criticizing the smaller things.

The secret to living is giving. Giving back is the ultimate purpose in life and is also the secret to falling in love with yourself: When you have a sense of purpose, you’ll live confidently and stop looking for external affirmation. You know that you have intrinsic worth, because you have gifts to give the world. And when you truly believe that you are here for a reason, loving yourself comes naturally. Find your purpose and light a fire of self-love within you, and others will be attracted to the flames.