#organic imported mattresses

[almattress]

Knobby Organic Imported Latex Pillow (Massage pillow) #foammattress #ma...

[goosita]

billy who loves calling you pet names

“hey, sweetheart,” he whispers as he pulls you into his body the moment he finds you in the bar. he dips his head to brush the tip of his nose along your cheek affectionately. he lifts one hand to brush your hair away from your face gently, his eyes taking their time to scan over your face adoringly. his long fingers splay over your back with his free hand, the warmth from them seeping in through your blouse to heat your skin. he always runs so hot.

and

“m’fine. just a scratch, honey,” billy tells you as you clean the blood from his skin. he’s sat on your bed while you kneel to him, tending to the rough wound where a bullet had grazed his ribcage. the idea that it could have embedded itself, pierced into his lung or otherwise important organs, made your hands tremble. he catches your chin and lifts your face to look up at him, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip. “i’m alright. promise.”

and

“look at me, angel. let me see those pretty eyes on me, hm?” as he presses you down, down, down into his mattress. his bare skin slides against your own, his soft pants and quiet moans filling your ears. his hips rock into yours with more control than you would have guessed he would have. “my sweet girl,” he coos, arms caging you in. and maybe it would feel trapping, ensnaring to be at the mercy of one of the most feared outlaws this side of the mississippi river. but it doesn’t. it feels safe.

[sorcerous-caress]

I'm so jealous of Daniil. Having only played the Haruspex route so far in both game, each time I'm invited to the Bachelor's place I turn green with envy at how he resides at an actual proper house with a real room and a real bed.

A real bed with a whole bedframe. A pillow with an actual pillowcase!! His bed even has sheets!

He has WINDOWS. His house is in a nice neighbourhood, and his roommate is a very attractive woman. There is actual furniture in his room. Not one hint of fungus growing on the walls or rust!

Can you imagine living there as your lair? Spending the whole game knowing you have a real house with a real bed to go back to at the end of each night? Seeing Eva's face every day before leaving to do quests?

Meanwhile, Artemy is stuck in this dumpster room of an abandoned factory. Cuddling with rats on his makeshift bed, held by nothing but a wooden panel, some boxes and a dream.

A pillow so yellow it has its own ecosystem where bugs established real estate. Is that even a pillow or is it some random rock Artemy found and chucked in there? Is it a stale loaf of bread?? Why is it hard looking?

But no, you don't even get to keep the rock roach pillow because in P2, they take it away.

Fuck you Artemy, you had it good for too long. No pillow now because what are you gonna do about it?. Fold your mattress instead to have a resemblance of a faux sense of protection under your most vital organ during the long hours of death rehearsal that you call sleep.

Somehow, they made the bed even more unstable looking. As if that thin panel in the middle could hold Artemy's weight without caving in. Oh, and apparently, I ran out of boxes to use for furniture because the bed and the table have to share custody of the same box.

We have downgraded into barrels now, as you can see :) No, I don't know what they used to contain inside.

Waking up every day to Sticky's snotty face telling me not to spit in the wind and nagging me about cleaning up the week-old human organs thrown around that are stinking up the place.

THERE IS MOLD GROWING ON MY WALLS. RUST FLAKES FALL FROM THE EXPOSED METAL PIPES DOWN INTO MY CEREAL EACH BREAKFAST.

This single wall holds so much mold and fungus that they started crossbreeding and evolved into new, never seen before types of bacteria. Satan's asscrack is more hygienic than whatever biohazard plagues of Egypt this slab of concrete contains.

I live in the gutters. My only neighbours are an illegal gang of minors with a hatred for furries and another illegal gang but of adults this time who sell me bullets way above the market price. A dangerous neighbourhood where you can't have shit because SOMEONE STOLE MY BULL.

The basement I reside in has no windows, the smell is pungent and fucking vile down here. There isn't even a space for a bathroom.

This is my kitchenette/bathroomette/showerette/cupboardette/surgery tools disinfection stationette/sinkette/watercoolerette/toilette/fridge.

also my buckets yk.

One bucket for the makeshift bathroom, another for holding important organs and loose guts during surgery, a third one as a cooking pot for making tasty meat grub soup and the final one for murky water after sweeping the floor.

What do I use to tell them apart? Oh nothing :) I just mix em up every now and then, oppsie daisy.

Oh and the floors are CONSTANTLY wet for some reason. Yeah sticky slipped and almost broke his neck the other day so watch your steps.

There is also this eerie room with literal garbage and broken furniture right next to the entrance. Don't worry about it, sometimes I hear someone crying and screaming for help when I'm trying to go to sleep but it's just the factory being silly lol.

Now this? This is where the M A G I C happens. This is where Artemy the Menkhu makes his famous herbal remedies and natural mixtures. This is where the Panacea for the infamous sand plague gets made!

In a rusty empty food can.

Falling into a bucket with shit stains.

MEDICINE BABBYYY. GET YOUR WEAK SOFT BONED ASS BACK TO THE CAPITAL BITCH, THIS IS HOW REAL MEN MAKE REAALLL MEDICINE!! RAWRRRRR🦅🦅💥💥

Meanwhile, dickovsky has the view of the cathedral and polyhedron just around the corner from where he resides. He has a backyard with a lake, and all I have is a swamp behind my basement. I trudge through the mud each night, collecting weeds and herbs to mix and trade so I and the two orphans who adopted themselves into my life don't go starving.

Not to mention the gaggles of herb brides loitering outside and giving me a false bad reputation.

That dandy douchbag has a pharmacy, a grocery, and a tailor right next door. The closest establishment to my shrekcore place of resident is a dingy basement bar with shady drinks and no bouncer to check for ID, I saw two kids in there once.

Pov: a qt3.14 surgeon says his dad isn't home and invites you over.

[00-jammy-00]

Yan!spy in which reader is a new spy in the organization?

Yan!Spy HC’s

Yan!Spy x GN! Spy! Reader

Content warning - Yandere themes, obsession, murder, nsfw mentions, mean yandere, easily annoyed yandere, possessiveness, manipulation

——————————————————————————————————

Yan!Spy who was already easily irritated before your annoying ass showed up, he was too old for this, too experienced to be put on with the boss’ new experiment.

Yan!Spy who grunted and groaned every time you spoke. Fuck, how could someone be so annoying, all you’re good for are your looks.

Yan!Spy who gets more pissed off when he sees you in your uniform. He wont lie to himself, seeing a pretty thing like you strapped up in that tight uniform makes him feel things.

Yan!Spy who was “forced” to be your mentor. You heard he had used his rank to pull strings? Why the fuck would he do that for a dumb little thing like you? You’re full of yourself.

Yan!Spy who becomes overly protective. Some guys are pickin’ on ya? Don’t worry, Percy will take care of them, he’s a spy, he can make anyone disappear. He’ll follow you back to your living quarter in the underground base too, he’s just making sure you’re not doing anything dumb.

Yan!Spy who teaches you how to shoot, he loves pressing up against you and guiding your fingers to show you how to hold the damn thing, you get so nervous.

Yan!Spy who is hesitant to take you on missions, it’s just cause he doesn’t want you to fuck it up. That’s what he tells you anyway. What if you get discovered and someone tries to hurt you? The idea has him clenching his fist.

Yan!Spy who convinces you that sex is an important part of the learning process, you want to rise through the ranks don’t you? Then sit on his lap like a good pet while he does hit paperwork, he’ll reward you later.

Yan!Spy who likes to take his frustrations out on you, pounding you into the mattress doggy style while pulling your hair. This isn’t to say he won’t be gentle on good days though, if you behave well or do something good on a mission he’ll play nice, stroke your face, give you soft kisses while combing through your hair with his fingers.

——————————————————————————————————

Likes, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated, requests are open <3

please do not copy, repost or translate any of my works on other platforms without my permission.

[srjlvr]

,, A Love Story ‘‘

PAIRING . . . kindergarten volunteer!Sunghoon X kindergarten volunteer!FemReader

GENRE . . . fluff !!

WORD COUNT . . . 1.7k+ !!

WARNINGS . . . mentions of food , children ! (a lot of them) , clingy love story i think.

“let’s just try! my older siblings are going to ask us one day to take care of their children and we need to know how to work with them!” you begged your boyfriend, it’s been a week since you’ve been trying to convince him to volunteer with you in a kindergarten.

“i just don’t like kids that much, they scare me” he slightly chuckled. “they’ll love you as much as i love you, i promise” you smiled at him and he finally agreed.

and that’s how you found yourself sitting in a small desk, on such small chairs, and having the time of your life while talking to the kids.

“my mom said that it’s important to study if i don’t want to end up being broke” one kid said in one of your conversations with him, and you slightly laughed, “ah that’s what she said? then you should start learning the alphabet from now!” you joked.

you looked over to your boyfriend and found him surrounded by kids, laughing and hugging him. you warmly smiled at him, finding the moment so adorable and worth taking a picture as he smiled at you back.

“y/n! don’t get flattered too much, but i think sunghoon likes you” one of the girls said. “oh yeah? why is that?” you asked curiously, obviously knowing the answer already, “he has been looking at you all day!! i think you should date him” she excitedly clapped her hands and smiled.

“i probably should, right? it’ll be a loss not to date someone like him” you smiled at her and she nodded, “don’t worry! i will help you get him” she smiled at you back and hugged you.

it was already lunch time and you were checking on the kids to see if they’re eating well and having fun. “the rice is so tasty! can i have more?” one of the kids asked and you gladly gave her more rice and patted her back, “there you go! eat well!”

you then sat with the children in their desk and you kept having fun conversations with them. the girl from before tapped you and signed you to get closer so she could whisper something in your ears.

“i will go tell sunghoon that you like him too and he should date you” she whispered and before you could call her back, she already pushed herself back and ran to sunghoon.

you saw her whispering in his ear something as well and he smiled at her.

“sunghoon, i think y/n likes you a lot! you should date her!!” she whispered in his ears and he smiled, “really? how do you know?” he whispered back in her ear, “i just know! my mom calls me a matchmaker” they both giggled, “leave it up to me” he winked at her and she went back to her seat besides you.

“well? what did you tell him?” you asked, “it’s a secret” she replied and went back to eat.

“alright kiddos! it’s time to take a nap!” you and sunghoon helped organizing the mess and gathering all the kids to sit on their own mattresses.

“y/n! tell us a story!” one of the kids yelled and everyone instantly nodded with pleading eyes.

how can you say no to such cute kids?

“what kind of a story?” you asked with a genuine smile, “a love story!” someone shouted and they all excitedly clapped in agreement.

you looked over to sunghoon and he smiled at you, “alright, listen up and get closer, we’re about to dive in the story!”

they all got closer to you, crossing their legs and laying their heads on both their hands.

“once upon a time there was a princess, who was bound to marry a prince when she gets older!” you smiled, “but she didn’t want to marry off a prince that is chosen by her parents! she wanted to experience love”

“one day, one of her mother’s friends arrived at the castle to chat and discuss over some things with a cup of tea” you rolled your eyes and the kids giggled, “the little princess was roaming around the castle, doing nothing but getting bored, do you have any interesting suggestions for the princess?” you asked, letting the kids to be a part of the story.

“oh she should go read a book under a tree!” one of the kids suggested, “or she could go and disturb her mother! it’s fun when i do it” another kids suggested.

“she did both of the things you just suggested! when she gave up on bickering to her mother, she went to their beautiful garden, to take a view from the beautiful flowers that bloomed so naturally” you closed your eyes and breathed deeply as if you’re smelling flowers.

“she was running around until she noticed a small figure looking at her, she went closer to the figure and to her surprise, she saw a little boy, in which she assumed, was around the same age as her” you smiled over to sunghoon.

“she stopped right in front of the boy and introduced herself while holding out a hand for the little boy to shake. the little boy smiled warmly at her and introduced himself back while taking her hand and shaking it”

“what are their names!” the kids asked. “that’s for me to know, and for you to imagine” you winked at them back.

“soon, the boy and the girl became inseparable! they learned a lot about each other, and played all day long with each other, until it was time to leave” you sadly said.

“the boy was the son of her mother’s friend, and he had to leave after their mothers finished chatting” you sighed, “the boy and the girl sadly looked at each other, but before the boy left, they made a promise to meet each other every once a week at least! and send each other letters every day!”

you looked over at sunghoon and he gave you an assuring expression, he was surely impressed by the way you tell the kids your story.

“their promise kept strong, and they were seeing each other almost every day! once it was the girl and her parents visiting in the boy’s castle, and it was the opposite the next day” you smiled at the happy kids who were cheering for the story’s main characters.

“but, one day when the girl went to visit again in the boy’s castle, their parents started yelling and shouting at each other!” all of the kids gasped, “the kids went to check on their parents and found them angrily discussing with each other on such nonsense”

“before anything happened, the boy and the girl made another promise, they made a promise that no matter what happens, they’re going to stick with each other no matter how hard their parents will try to break the friendship” you quietly said the sad news to the kids and they all looked at you with pity, feeling the character’s pain.

“the girl’s parents ended up forcing her to leave immediately, and ever since then she was not allowed to pay a visit in the boy’s castle, and neither was the boy!” you took a deep breath.

“that’s not fair! i would’ve run away” one of the kids said and rolled his eyes, the rest nodded in agreement.

“however, it didnt matter for the boy and the girl, they had to keep their promise no matter what!” you said determinedly, “every once in a while, they were sneaking outside of their castle to meet up with each other, and were secretly sending letters to each other” you chuckled.

you looked over at sunghoon and he warmly smiled at you, as if he was falling in love with you all over again.

“please tell me they end up together!” another comment popped up, “getting impatient i see, wait and hear!” you pinched her nose and smiled.

“as the boy and the girl grew older, they found it harder to sneak around without getting noticed, but they did keep on sending letters every day, they also started noticing that they might be developing feelings for each other” you pressed your lips together,

“when they turned eighteen, they got a reminder from their parents that when they turn nineteen, they’ll be marrying off to someone their parents will choose for them”

“boo!!” all of the kids boo-ed in annoyance, and you nodded, understanding the kids’ feelings.

“one day, they found the perfect time to sneak out of the castle and meet up, and as soon as they saw each other they hugged really tightly, as if they never wanted to let go”

“they shared their feelings for each other, and it was more than a love because of their friendship, what they felt for each other was true love” you smiled, “and obviously with true loves comes a true love’s kiss!”

the kids cheered and shouted in excitement, “but they had to make a plan, their parents banned them from seeing each other, they will not approve their love for each other ever!” suddenly the room fell silent.

“so they made a plan, to run away from the royal life, to run away from their family and from everything they knew ever since they were born, and when the right time came, they did it”

“they managed to run away from everything, as long as they were together, nothing scared them anymore” you smiled, “because their love for each other is stronger than anything” for the finale, sunghoon said the last sentence and went closer to you with a big smile on his face.

“now, time to get a nap! sleep well kiddos” you and sunghoon gave the kids some pecks on the forehead and turned off the lights.

as you and sunghoon got out of the room he back-hugged you tightly, “hearing our story all over again reminded me of how much i love you”

you turned around to face him, “i love you too” you kissed him while holding him closer to you tightly.

as you let go he smirked and you looked at him in confusion, “i didn’t know i was a prince though”

“oh shut it, kids love the royal stories” you replied, “please tell me you’re going to save that story in your mind and tell it to our future kids”

you blushed and pecked his lips, “we’ll see about that, prince charming”

© srjlvr , pls don’t copy/translate any of my works without permission ! | reblogs and comments are very appreciated !

[jamdoughnutmagician]

Slipping Through Her Fingers

Steve Harrington x Female Reader

Summary: Everyone knows how important Steve’s hair is to him, but when it comes to you? He can’t think of anything better than the feel of your fingers scratching at his scalp.

Warnings:18+, Smut, Oral Sex (F Receiving), Fingering, Steve Harrington eats pussy for his own pleasure, coming untouched, nothing else that I can think of?

Word Count: 757 (just a short little drabble that I needed to get out of my system or it was going to burn a hole in my brain)

Authour’s Note:First time writing for Steve Harrington, so maybe it might not be the best, and might seem a bit out-of-character, but Joe Keery as Steve Harrington with that hair? honestly he’s SO boyfriend shaped.

If anyone knew Steve Harrington, then one thing that was evidently clear from just looking at him, and that was that his hair was very important to him. Very important. God forbid anyone get close enough to him to mess with his perfectly styled locks. His secret blend of Fabergé Organics and Farrah Fawcett spray is a secret that stays with him and only him. Well maybe Dustin too, but he’s sworn that kid to secrecy. 

So yeah, Steve’s very protective over his hair. 

However, Steve’s protectiveness over his self-described ‘best feature’ all but goes out of the window the moment he’s alone with you. 

He’s so eager to feel your delicate fingers weave their way into his hair and scratch over his scalp.

He has you sprawled out on his bed, your thighs thrown over each of his shoulders as he pleases you in his most favourite way. 

His plump soft lips wrapping around your clit, sucking it into the warm wet heat of his mouth. Leaving hot wet kisses all over your core, and his tongue tracing up and down your wet slit. He briefly moved his lips from your pussy, trailing his kisses over your thighs, and then trailing them even further up your body, leaving soft butterfly-light kisses all over your stomach, his lips finally finding their place in-between the valley of your breasts. Sucking bruises into your skin, where only he would see them. Knowing that those marks were there for him, because of him? Well that was the fun of it in his eyes.

His lips wrap around one of your nipples, sucking it in his mouth, pinching and plucking your other nipple to a teased hardened peak. 

That’s when he feels it. Feels your fingers carding their way through his hair and tugging at his locks in a way that has him grinding and rutting his already hard cock against the soft skin of your thighs with a desperate whine.

Leaning up above you one of his large cradles your jaw as his lips connect with yours in a sloppy, passionate kiss, tongues tangling together. Taking his hand that was tenderly holding your face, you take the opportunity to slip his index and middle fingers in your mouth. Sucking his long fingers into the warm wet heat of your mouth, letting your tongue work between the two digits.

He swears every thought he’s ever had leaves his brain watching his fingers slip past your sweet lips.  

Making his way back down your body he presses the two of his spit-slick fingers into your core. He leans down with his hair flopping down over his eyes as his tongue darts out to wet his lips before going back to leave kisses on your clit and sucking into his mouth.

He continues to pump his fingers in and out of you, and flick his tongue over your clit all the while you tug at his strands on his scalp.

He’s so focused on your pleasure, that his own needs are almost secondary to him. Almost.

Laying on his stomach sprawled between your thighs, his hips are furiously grinding themselves against the mattress, eating you out like he needs it to survive.

He can tell you’re close, he’s been in this position many times before, he can tell by the way your moans of ‘Stevie please…’ are all but almost whimpered out between those little groans and tugging of his hair to get him to be closer to where you need him most.

He curls his fingers inside you just right, hitting that spot that he knows will have you seeing stars.

‘That’s it, Angel, give it to me, come for me’ he mumbles against you as he feels you falling apart and clenching around his fingers.

 Coming up from his place between your thighs to wrap his strong arms around your naked body in a warming embrace, his places a sweet kiss to your lips

“I do believe it’s my turn to return the favour” you smile up at him with a cheeky glint in your eyes.

“Oh no, you don’t have to worry about me, I kind of…already…” he trails off hoping that he wouldn’t have to explain to you how getting you off had him creaming in his sweatpants like a damn horny teenager.

“Oh..” -you started with a blush, understanding exactly what he was trying to tell you- “..well as soon as you’re ready to go again, you’re gonna get it, Stevie, just you wait.”

[jjkamochoso]

I’ll Be There for You

Angst, fluff

Levi Ackerman x gn!reader

Levi comes to your rescue when you’re dealing with negative feelings/depression :)

Warnings: cussing, negative self talk, allusions to depression, thoughts of death

A/n: if this fic helps even one person feel a bit better, then I’ve done my job🫶 much love to any of you who are or ever have felt this way; you’re worthy, you’re loved, and you have so much more life to experience so please don’t give up and always keep fighting❤️ I’m here for anyone who needs it and don’t be afraid to reach out!! Much love to you all❤️

Quite simply, you just wanted to lay in your bed and rot into the mattress, never to be seen again.

You didn’t know what brought on these feelings, you just knew you wanted no part of them. You would much rather sleep the hours away in hopes that they would leave on their own, but that wasn’t an option; you had to go to work. Trying to get out of bed each day was a Herculean task when it felt like your limbs were made of concrete. Inside your head were swirling thoughts of insecurities pertaining to every facet of your life.

I’m horrible at my job.

Everyone’s too busy to care about me, I’m not worth their time.

No one would care if I died.

You sighed, slinging your uniform jacket over your shoulders. You didn’t bother looking in your small mirror, figuring that seeing your appearance would only make your thoughts worse. You grabbed some files from your office as you made your way past the dining hall, opting to forgo breakfast. You had little appetite the last week, not having enough energy or care to fuel your body. You were just filing paperwork anyway, it wasn’t like you were doing anything important or worthwhile. Normally you would smile as you heard the chatter of your comrades chowing down on their meals, but lately it brought you no joy, instead leaving your heart heavy with an indescribable sadness. Your boots slammed against the floor, each step as difficult as the one before it. You trudged along to your superior’s office, dropping off some of the files before heading back to your own office, not looking forward to report writing the next few hours. You barely registered the presence of someone else in the hallway next to you, your surroundings unimportant as you pleaded with the universe to let you hide away in your office, alone and unbothered.

The universe was not so kind.

“You look like shit,” Levi commented, his eyebrows knitted in concern.

You snorted as you kept walking. “Thanks, Captain.”

Normally you would have a sarcastic remark at the ready, but you weren’t in the mood.

“Are you sick?” He walked in time with you.

You hesitated before answering. “I… don’t feel well.”

Levi quickly moved away several inches.

“It’s not contagious,” you added. His expression was unreadable.

“You haven’t eaten much lately.” he observed.

“Not hungry,” you replied, causing him to roll his eyes.

“Shitty excuse. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, okay? I’m fine,” you said through clenched teeth, fighting the urge to scream. You didn’t want him to know of your internal pain. You couldn’t show Humanity’s Strongest Soldier how weak you were. You picked up the pace to your office as Levi walked right next to you, offering you silent companionship. Under different circumstances you would be chatting away with the man, but right now you wanted to wallow in your despair by yourself and not be questioned about your lack of food or hygiene.

“This is me. I’ll see you around.”

You tried to slam the door closed as fast as you could, but his lithe leg was faster, blocking it with his foot.

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re a horrible liar.”

“I’m tired, that’s all,” you tried to reason, hoping he would either believe you or get the hint you really didn’t want to talk about this with him. Levi peeked behind you and caught a glimpse of your office, making him frown at what he saw. Your desk, usually rivaling his level of cleanliness and organization, was such a mess that he could barely stomach it. You noticed his eyes wandering and you shoved yourself closer into the doorframe to block his view.

“Anything else I can help you with?” you asked, clearly frustrated with him.

“No. Take care of yourself, L/n. I have no need for a squad leader who can’t perform at their best.”

With that, he pulled his boot from your doorframe and left you to replay those words over and over in your head.

As Levi left your office, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was really wrong with you. Your desk being such a wreck was totally out of the norm. Obviously you were lying about only being tired, but he didn’t know what the source of your issues was. Walking down the hallway, he saw that your bedroom door was left ajar. He wasn’t one to invade others’ privacy, but you were acting quite strange and, as a captain, he had a duty to make sure his peers were alright. Well, you two were more than peers anyway; he considered you a close friend and a trustworthy comrade. He hated seeing your lack of motivation, knowing you were capable of so much more, and thought his harsh words earlier would give you the boost you needed to get a grip and snap out of your funk.

What he saw when he opened your bedroom door made his skin crawl.

Your normally tidy, clean room was in a state of utter chaos. Your clothes were strewn haphazardly all over the place, your bed wasn’t made, sheets falling on the floor. Your gear wasn’t cleaned properly, nor was it resting in its rightful place. What was going on with you? He left as quickly as he came in, having seen enough. You hadn’t been cleaning or eating, two important daily tasks that never slipped your mind. You looked like you hadn’t bathed in many days or been bothered to monitor your appearance whatsoever. You weren’t ill because you wouldn’t lie to him about not being contagious.

So what was it?

He thought about your glassy, empty eyes. Your expression was mostly neutral, but he could see through the facade you were putting up; you were deeply troubled by something.

You were suffering mentally and he had just now noticed.

He cursed at himself for not realizing it earlier. Between his own never ending piles of work and lack of sleep, more so than usual, he hadn’t noticed the signs of you pulling away from everyone until much too late. His mind reeled at what he should do next. There were so many things that needed to be done to kickstart your healing process, he just didn’t know where to start.

Actually, he did.

It had been hours and you had barely written anything on the paper in front of you, your brain unable to focus on work long enough to form professional sentences. You wanted to rip the stack of papers into teeny little shreds, take out your mental anguish on something tangible. You thought back to what Levi had said: he had no need for you, since, clearly, you were as far from your best as you could ever be. You couldn’t even find it within yourself to care, numbness overtaking you. It was just a matter of time before you were fired, discharged, and thrown to the streets. Maybe there you could disappear for good…

Knocks at your door interrupted your spiraling thoughts.

“Name and business,” you called out, less than enthused.

“It’s Levi. Open up.”

You groaned. You didn’t want him to see your office in disarray, though you suspected he had seen enough earlier.

“Is it urgent?”

“I’ll kick down the door if you don’t let me in.”

“Guess that’s a yes,” you grumbled under your breath.

“No need to damage government property. It’s unlocked,” you told him, hinges creaking as he stepped inside. In his hands were a steaming cup of tea and some bread that he set in front of you.

“Here. You can’t starve yourself,” he said.

“I appreciate the gesture but I’m not hungry,” you reiterated.

“Stop being so damn stubborn and have at least a little bite. Or drink the tea. I won’t watch you waste away,” he argued, irises aflame with an intense emotion you couldn’t pinpoint. You didn’t want to be a further disappointment so you nibbled on the bread, your stomach coming to life with gurgles of hunger as you swallowed the welcome nutrients. Levi looked around for a place to sit but all of your chairs were occupied by opened books and papers you hadn’t stacked neatly.

“Sorry about the mess, you can just stick those on the floor with the other piles,” you said, embarrassed at your lack of tidying. He took a seat and watched you intently as you ate and drank. When he was satisfied with the progress of your meal, he spoke up.

“I’m not… good… with my words,” he started, more hesitant than you’d ever known him to be, “but I want you to know that I’m available for you no matter what. I won’t let you suffer alone.”

“Really, Levi, I appreciate it, but it’s nothing, I’m-”

“Your office is a mess and your room is a disaster. Your mannerisms have changed. I know you, y/n, I know something’s off. I failed at seeing it sooner and I let you down.”

His gray eyes bore into your own. “But I’m here now. I’ll do everything in my power to keep you from losing yourself. Whatever you need.”

Your gaze dropped to your desk.

“I don’t know what I need,” you whispered. “I don’t know what I need to feel better. To make all of this go away.”

“That means we won’t stop trying things until we find a solution,” Levi responded, resolute in his statement.

“We?” you asked, uncertain of what he meant.

“That’s what I said. You’re not fighting on your own. We’re in this together.”

“But I’m weak for feeling like this. I don’t want to be another burden on you or anyone else.”

You couldn’t dare look Levi in the eyes during your confession, afraid of how he was viewing you as you displayed your most vulnerable moments out in the open like this. He stood abruptly from his chair, the sound of wood scraping on wood echoing through your office. He leaned over you, his hands gentle yet firm on your shoulders.

“Look at me.” You slowly raised your head as he addressed you, his bangs hanging haphazardly over his forehead. “Don’t ever say something so stupid like that again. This is not weakness and you’re not a burden. That’s your shitty brain lying to you. I will repeat this as many times as I need to until your ears bleed or your mind starts believing it.”

He gave your shoulders one last squeeze before unhanding you. “You can talk to me if that helps. I might not have the right words but I’ll listen. It’s a hell of a lot better than keeping it bottled up inside. I’ve seen soldiers swallow it down until they couldn’t stand it any longer. I won’t let that happen to you, too.”

You nodded in understanding, taking in a big breath before letting it out. “Okay. Okay, yeah. I’ll try… talking about it.”

“Good. You do that while I’ll clean this pig sty you call an office.”

You laughed for the first time in weeks. Levi felt himself smile softly at the joyous sound he had missed for so long, his heart beating a little quicker at the way your expression was lively once again.

Your venting session with Levi went extremely well. You felt like the weights had been lifted off your shoulders a little bit. Obviously you weren’t cured and knew these feelings were going to linger and could strike at any time, but it was nice knowing you had someone to turn to when things looked bleak. Your office, now spotless due to his efforts, also contributed to your mind feeling more organized.

“Four eyes has good advice, too, but you might get experimented on so be careful,” Levi said, making you laugh for the second time that day. Before he left, he made you swear that you would eat dinner. “I’ll personally drag your ass to the dining hall,” is specifically what he said, and you wholeheartedly believed him.

“Thanks again,” you told him as he reached for the door handle. “I genuinely don’t know what I would do without you.”

He froze.

“You’ll never have to know,” he eventually uttered, taking his leave.

Later that night, when your work was finished and your stomach was full of food, you huffed in annoyance when you remembered the state your room was in. Bracing yourself for the disappointing scene, you opened your door to:

A clean room?

You walked inside, confused as could be. Your sheets were back on your bed, everything crisply tucked in. Your clothes were put away, both hanging up and folded neatly in your dresser drawers. Even your gear, which was left covered in muck and dirt from your last training session, was shining as brightly as the day it was first issued to you.

There was only one person you knew who could clean that precisely and quickly.

Your attention was caught by a sachet of tea and a small piece of paper left on your nightstand. You picked up the note, a tear staining your cheek as you read the meticulous penmanship.

Here’s some of my favorite tea. It’s brought me comfort in the past so I hope the same for you.

If you don’t know how to brew it correctly, come find me.

Like I said before, take care of yourself.

I believe in you.

—Levi

[exitpursuedbyavulcan]

Denouement (Aegon II Targaryen x Reader)

Art by the lovely and talented: @barbiedragon be sure to take a look at the moodboard at then end, too!

When the daughter of Lord Swann is sent to King’s Landing to find a match to improve her family’s damaged reputation, Prince Aegon is eager to learn whether she takes after her famous cousin, the Black Swann of Lys. But he learns more than he ever wanted to - about her, and himself.

Pairing: Aegon II Targaryen x House Swann!Reader

Warnings: attempted sexual assault, attempted rape/non-con, Aegon swears a bunch

This is my submission for the @hotd-bigbang ! Shout out to everyone who participated, especially @ewanmitchellcrumbs for being an amazing organizer!

Denouement

Aegon was sprawled across his bed, entirely unclothed and clutching a mostly empty bottle of wine. How much of the wine he had drunk, and how much of it had sloshed down his chin and chest to dampen the sheets below him, he neither knew nor cared.

He had planned to go back to Fleabottom and find a cheap cunt or two to relieve him of his frustrations. Yet every time he tried to get off the bed, it was like some invisible force pushed him back down into the mattress. He simply could not get up if he tried – and he did try.

Well, he tried once.

But it was hot, and the wine was very good. Besides, there were plenty of women in the Red Keep for him to choose from, even though they wouldn’t be quite as easy as the whores. He decided that after a short nap, he’d go find one. Or perhaps one would come to him – it was about the time of day when a maid or two would come to replace his bedding, after all.

He was just about to doze off into a dream of forever burying himself in some woman’s soft, enormous breasts when trumpets blared from the courtyard below, startling him so much that his poor wine bottle tumbled to the floor and broke apart.

“Oh, fuck off!” he shouted to no one in particular.

The blaring noise had set his ears ringing and his head aching, making it entirely impossible for him to now find sleep. He slung his arm over his eyes and let out a protracted groan of extreme displeasure. What was supposed to be a relaxing day of drinking and fucking was now thoroughly ruined.

More noise began to float up to his window from the courtyard. Infuriated and somewhat vengeful, Aegon crawled across the bed and draped himself over its edge to grab another bottle of wine – this one empty, but intact. He had it raised behind his head, ready to send it through the window when he finally heard what the voice in the courtyard was saying.

The Lord Matthos Swann, and his daughter, Lady Swann.

Swann… Aegon knew that name somehow. It prickled something in his memory that he was, at this moment, too drunk to reach. But the prickling was enough to bother him, enough to make him drop his bottle and slump back into his sheets, close his eyes, and try to sort through the chaotic workings of his mind.

He did not know why this particular piece of information was so important for him to remember, but it felt important nevertheless. So much so that when two little maids came to change his bedding, Aegon shouted at them to leave rather than attempt to bring one of them into his bed.

Helaena came and went, reminding him that there was to be a welcome feast for the noble houses that were just arriving in the capital, and he was expected to attend. He rolled over and clamped his pillow around his head, and she soon left.

It was not until the sun had nearly set and the wine had nearly faded from his blood that Aegon howled with triumph as he sat bolt upright and threw his pillow in the air in glee.

“Johanna Swann!” he exclaimed as he fell onto his back, a wide grin on his face as he stared at his ceiling, remembering the bawdy tales he’d heard of the Black Swan of Lys.

He had only been a babe when Lady Johanna was kidnapped by pirates of the triarchy. They’d asked for a ransom from her uncle, but he refused, and she was then sold as a courtesan in the most infamously libidinous city in the world. Since then, she had become the most powerful person in the city, all thanks to her apparently magical cunt. Every so often, her latest doings would appear in the gossip of the Red Keep.

Oh, how some of those tales titillated Aegon when he was young. He had even encountered a small portrait of Johanna, hung in a place of honor at one of his former favorite brothels as if she were a goddess.

But it couldn’t be Johanna herself, he realized with no small amount of disappointment. She would have been announced on her own, not as merely the daughter of Lord Swann.

Who was it, then? A cousin, a sister, or maybe some distant relation brought into the family to try and repair their reputation?

Whoever it was, Aegon instantly decided that he not only needed to meet her, but he would have to sample her as well, to determine whether Johanna’s prowess was her achievement alone, or if it was a skill this new Lady Swann would possess, too.

-

When Aegon arrived in the Great Hall, his hair was still visibly damp from dunking his head into the cold water of his washbasin in a hasty attempt to make himself at least somewhat presentable. The formal introductions had already finished, and the meal was halfway over. He received a quiet scolding from his mother as he slipped into his seat, but she seemed relieved that he’d shown up at all, so it could have been much worse.

His father, as always, ignored him entirely. Not even a look of greeting to his firstborn son.

As soon as he sat, Helaena turned to him and held out a stuffed beetle that she’d snuck into the Great Hall. It must have been a new one, for he had not seen it before. It had black and white stripes that extended across its body from tail to antennae, save for one white patch with only a circle of black in it. With its neat appearance and long antennae, it was very nearly elegant – for a bug.

“Very pretty, Hel,” he whispered, giving her the best smile he could when he was looking at an insect just before eating.

Helaena smiled back, pride shining in her eyes. Then her face went blank, and her hands tremored slightly. She’d had episodes like this before, even when she was too young to speak. It was during these that she rambled nonsensical words that Aegon could never understand.

“Black and white, death and life, evil and good,” she whispered. “Neither triumph. All fades to gray.”

Aegon cringed slightly, usually her ramblings weren’t so negative. They usually made him feel uncomfortable, but something about these particular words greatly disturbed him. He shivered, as if a cold wind brushed against the back of his neck. He gave Helaena a weak smile and turned to his food.

It took him a while – and half a chicken, two rolls of bread slathered with butter, and a pile of vegetables that he only ate so his mother wouldn’t scold him – to brush off the last of his unsettlement and finally look across the gathered nobles scattered at the four great tables that had been set in the Great Hall.

Unfortunately, he looked up just as servants were moving those tables to make room for a dance floor, and what was a smattering of bright colors soon became a whirling, twirling mass of more colors than Aegon could count or name. Reds, blues, greens, oranges, obnoxiously bright yellows, and even a few pinks and purples all swirling together in an ostentatious and nauseating display.

However, it made it easier for Aegon to spot his target for the night. For though she did wear a gown to match the heraldry of her house, the Swann colors were simply black and white.

Aegon’s wine-blurred vision cleared as he finally set eyes on her.

This young Lady Swann was beautiful.

And yet she bore little resemblance to the depiction of the Black Swan that he’d seen in the brothel. Her coloring was different, her features softer, and her eyes – demurely downcast – far kinder.

Despite her beauty, there was not a single hint of a seductress in her.

Her gown proved as much. It was finely made and surely expensive, but there far too much of it – a neckline more prudish than even his mother’s, long voluminous sleeves that hid her hands, and a puffy mountain of skirts that left her figure a mystery.

One that Aegon was not quite sure was worth solving.

Still, his curiosity was piqued. At least enough to keep an eye on her while he perused what were certainly easier options.

Nearly every detail he learned about her was a disappointment. She was very intelligent. She was pious. She was obedient – although that was something he could turn into an asset. Even her sobriquet, ‘The White Swan,’ was dull. ‘The Black Swan’ was far more intriguing. A white swan was just an ordinary bird.

She was nothing like her more famous cousin. Or sister. He still hadn’t figured that out.

What was the point of coming here, then? Aegon supposed he at least looked nice and clean for when he inevitably snuck out to the Street of Silk. The girls were always more pleasant when he was clean.

“You appear unusually deep in thought, brother.”

Indeed, he had been so busy deciding where on the Street he wanted to go tonight that he didn’t see Aemond approaching until he spoke.

Aegon scowled and took a long drink from his wine to give himself time to concoct an answer. “Just observing the new arrivals.”

“Observing them for what purpose, exactly?” Aemond asked, looking briefly at Helaena, who was still sitting in her chair and not-so subtly playing with whatever insect she had brought with her.

Aegon narrowed his eyes as he understood the implication behind that glance. Why must Aemond always harp on about this if Helaena herself didn’t give a shit?

“I may be a married man, but that does not mean I cannot appreciate beauty when I see it.”

“If only you stopped at mere appreciation.”

“At least I am able to comprehend the beauty of a woman, and possess the skills to do something about it,” Aegon snapped back. A low blow, perhaps, not that he cared all that much if he hurt Aemond’s feelings. If he even had them.

But Aemond did not snap back, nor did he retreat to sulk on his own or to dote on Helaena. He sighed and turned back to the crowd. “Many young ladies arrived today. Is there one in particular who has caught your eye?”

Aegon’s brows rose in surprise. Not since their trip to the Steet of Silk on Aemond’s thirteenth nameday had he asked his elder brother about women. Or even really mentioned one – at least, not one that they weren’t related to. He even once said that he never wanted to see another person naked ever again.

“And why do you care, Aemond?” Aegon noted the glimmer of resigned frustration on his brother’s face and broke into a wide smile. “Oh! Have mother and Otto finally declared that you must find a bride?”

“Hmm.”

“Aha! That means yes!” Aegon exclaimed. Perhaps coming here would not be a waste, if he had the opportunity to watch Aemond attempt to flirt with various ladies. “Did you actually think you could remain unmarried forever?”

Aemond sighed. “One can hope. Will you please answer my question now?”

Looking back at the dancing crowd, Aegon considered the question. There was a lovely brunette in a shiny green dress. A stunning blonde in red. A girl with piercing blue eyes wearing pink. And one young lady with the most magnificent breasts he’d ever seen threatening to spill from her yellow dress at any moment.

Yet even with all the delicious treats in front of him, his eyes kept going back to the girl in black and white standing to the side of the dancefloor, smiling at the dancers, but never joined. She had a very soft smile, her pretty lips curving ever so gently.

He knew she would never let him taste those lips.

But that didn’t mean she had to go to waste. A lovely, intelligent, pious girl who likely had as little interest in the art of the bed as Aemond might make a perfect pair. Though when Aegon turned back to his brother and opened his mouth, he could not say it.

Aemond raised a brow expectantly.

“Well, her, obviously!” Aegon pointed to the girl in pink with the blue eyes, then tapped Aemond’s eyepatch. “You’d match.”

There was a tense silence between them, Aemond scowling down at Aegon for a long moment before turning and stalking off without another word.

Aegon laughed to himself before turning back to Lady Swann across the Great Hall. There were objectively more beautiful women who would likely leap at the chance to gain his favor by joining him in his bed. Many of them in the very room where he stood. Yet he was most drawn to her.

Why had she captivated him so?

More importantly, how could he get rid of this feeling?

He forced himself to turn away, pour more wine in his goblet, and down the entire thing. The alcohol helped clear his mind as it settled in his stomach. Fully back in his comfortably intoxicated glaze, he was finally able to think.

The answer was simple: he just needed to take her once, confirm that there was truly no reason for this strange, involuntary obsession. Then he would move on to the next conquest – most likely that girl in yellow with the massive breasts.

Yes, it was that simple. It had to be.

-

Lady Swann excused herself from the feast early, leaving alongside those guests whose hair had long since gone gray. Her father only allowed it because she claimed the music and bright colors of the ballroom was beginning to hurt her head. In truth, she had simply tired of it all.

Crowds of such size had always overwhelmed her. Not for ordinary shyness, she quite enjoyed the company of others. That ended the moment she found out that the quick glances people gave her were not for the desire to know her, but for their curiosity about her – if she had been influenced in any way by her infamous cousin.

It did not matter that she had been only an infant when Johanna was captured and had had no contact with her since. Every so often, Johanna would send her father a letter, which was either ignored or thrown in the fire.

As a child, Lady Swann often wished that she knew her cousin. That Johanna hadn’t been kidnapped. That her father had paid her ransom. That some gallant knight had travelled to Lys to rescue her. That she herself had not grown up as the only child in Stonehelm.

No god granted her wishes. Nor the stars, nor the sun or moon, not even the Weirwood tree she had once visited at some keep her father took her to which she no longer remembered the location or name of.

So, she was alone. Sometimes, her father’s visitors would bring their own children, and she would ask them as many questions as she could before they left. She wanted to know everything about them – where they lived, what they did for fun, and what they did with their other friends. They always had other friends at home.

When her father told her they were coming to court for a few moons turns, she had been thrilled. Finally, she would be able to spend more than a few days with people her own age, get to hear stories from all over the realm, perhaps even make actual friends – ones who would not leave after only a few days.

But when they arrived, the stares were immediate. The disdain at her father for not paying his niece’s ransom. The pity for her, and the curiosity about whether she had been somehow corrupted by her cousin.

Making friends would not be as easy as she thought.

Worse, it seemed none of the young men even wanted to be friends with her. They were far more interested in courting her, and many of them were so persistent that it nearly scared her. And while the young women were polite, it was without much sincerity. They all looked at her in suspicion when they thought she wasn’t looking.

So, she feigned a headache and left the feast early.

Her father had remained behind. There were more lords and merchants he still wanted to talk to, it seemed. She had the sense that he would do far more to secure her betrothal than she herself would. Though she was at peace with that, she still hoped her future husband would be relatively kind and from an interesting place.

Suddenly, she realized that she had been so deep in her thoughts that she had wandered somewhere unfamiliar - in the intersection of two dark corridors. All the halls of the Red Keep looked practically identical, but she still had the sense that she had never been there before. There weren’t any windows nearby, so she did not even know what part of the castle she was in.

She stood there for a moment, wondering which pathway to take, when she heard soft footsteps behind her. She turned to face what she expected to be a servant who could direct her back to her rooms but froze when she saw who it really was.

Prince Aegon.

He looked different than he had at the feast. His distant, morose expression was gone, replaced by a sly smile and a low brow over hooded purple eyes. Even when she was still, he continued approaching, like a cat stalking a mouse.

Gods, her father had warned her about this. Had told her to stay away from the prince, and any other man who approached her like that.

She should run, she told herself. But where would she go? She didn’t know where she was, or how to get back to her rooms. Surely the prince knew the halls better than her and was likely much faster.

Her fear held her in place and numbed her enough that she didn’t feel it when the prince wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her into a dark alcove partway down one of the halls. Nor did she feel the cool stone against her back when he pushed her against the wall and pressed himself close to her.

“My dear Lady Swann,” he purred, his voice low and melodic, even when laced with darkness. “You’ve driven me absolutely mad tonight, and yet you would be so cruel as to leave without apologizing?”

What was he talking about? They hadn’t spoken at the feast. He wasn’t even there when she was introduced to the royal family. How could she have possibly offended him?

“I am sorry, my prince,” she whispered, her voice seeming foreign. “For whatever I did to make you feel this way, I am very sorry.”

He let out a laugh that sounded half like a purr as he brought his face close to hers. He ran his nose along her cheek until his mouth was a hair’s breadth away from her ear. His breath was hot and reeked of wine. “How sweet of you to apologize, my lady. Though I am still not quite satisfied. But I know a way you can make it up to me…”

All the blood left her body, leaving her hardly more than a shell. This was exactly what her father had warned her about – what she feared most about coming to the palace.

Still, she could not run. The prince was far stronger than her, and she knew her legs would betray her if she tried.

No one was coming to save her, and she could not save herself.

She bowed her head and prayed to the gods who had never answered her. Though she expected nothing from them, she hoped at least one of them would watch, so she didn’t have to endure this alone. Perhaps they would even pity her.

When she finished her prayer, she willed her body to relax. Prince Aegon made a soft sound of surprise and pulled her flush against him. One hand rose to roughly cradle her face, while the other floated down to her hip. A possessive and entirely unmannerly touch.

“Please, my prince,” she begged. “Do what you must, I will not fight you. I simply ask that you are gentle with me, and that you not leave marks upon my body. I do not want my father to know my shame.”

She felt the prince’s body stiffen, his grip around her waist so tight her breathing shallowed.

Then he released her and stepped away.

After a moment to regain her breath, she raised her head to look at the prince. He stood several steps away from her, frowning. His eyes were distant, his confusion clear. He met her gaze and shook his head slightly.

“I…” He looked almost disgusted. At what, she did not know. In fear of what he may yet do to her, she remained still, only lowering her eyes.

He scoffed, then sighed, then he left.

She counted his steps as he retreated. Ten… twenty… thirty… She reached 47 before the sound was too distant for her to hear.

Still, she did not move. Her mind raced as she tried to process every strange thing that had just happened. Her fear. The dark look in the prince’s eyes. His breath against her cheek. His grip on her– both hard and soft. How he had stepped away from her with near revulsion on his face.

While she was grateful that he had done nothing but briefly hold her, she did not understand why. Though, did it really matter, so long as she was unharmed and unspoiled?

It may have been a single minute, or many hours, but finally, Lady Swann pulled away from the wall and once again began to wander, eventually finding her way back to her rooms.

She did not sleep that night.

-

Aegon was sprawled across his bed, still clothed and clutching a still corked bottle of wine. There was not a chance he would make it to the Street of Silk that night, not when he could not bring himself to open the wine or undress himself.

All he could do was think about Lady fucking Swann.

The way she had so entirely captured his attention. How her dress swayed as she wandered through the castle halls. The shock in her gorgeous eyes as she realized that he was the one following her. The way her body felt against his. The soft whisper of her voice. Her words…

What the fuck did those words do to him?

Most of the women he’d approached like that had fought him – screamed, tried to push him away, or hit and scratched him, or sometimes all of it. She’d not fought him at all. She’d practically gone limp in his arms, then gave him permission to do whatever he wanted to her, so long as he didn’t leave a mark.

It was that last bit that got to him – the no marks. He’d never cared what bruises or scratches he’d left on the women he fucked. Never even looked to see if there were any before either leaving or dismissing them.

But with her… the thought of leaving marks on her confused him.

In part, it excited him. Some buried territorial instinct, perhaps because of the dragon blood that was said to run in his veins, practically preened at the idea of claiming her so thoroughly. He wanted everyone to know that she was his. It was a feeling he’d never had with any of his previous partners.

The other part, however, imagined her covered in red and purple marks and grew furious. No one and nothing – not even him – should be allowed to hurt her in any way. She was too pure, too innocent. She was a perfect white swan, and he would let no one sully her.

He just couldn't figure out why he felt that way.

Since he first learned he could, Aegon had fucked as many women as he possibly could – women of all ages, shapes, and temperaments. He had never cared for any of them in this way. Except, of course, Helaena. But even that wasn’t an exact match to what he felt now.

With Helaena, his protectiveness was because she was his sister. He loved her, and wanted to care for her, but it wasn’t a romantic love. Hells, there wasn’t even lust between them. Their children were only conceived because they knew it was expected of them. It was a struggle each time, even for Aegon.

Yet he felt so much for this girl he’d barely met, who he had very nearly dishonored, and he didn’t know what to do about it.

Still, Aegon would try. And the first step was to take care of his painfully hard cock, which had been fully at attention since he first saw his Lady Swann smile.

-

For two weeks, Aegon fucked as often as he could. Serving girls, noble ladies, professional whores, and even his fist when needed. None of it brought him the satisfaction he sought – the end of whatever it was he felt for Lady Swann.

It didn’t help that he saw her so often. She was at every meal and event, and even sometimes in an obscure part of the keep that he had been sure would be safe from her.

And there were always other men flirting with her. Handsome lordlings, overconfident heirs, even a few gnarled old lechers. He should have expected it, as it was clear her father brought her to the capital to find a husband, but each time he saw another man make her smile, or brush his hand with hers, or even so much as look at her with lust in his eyes, he wanted to run them through and spit on their corpses.

His rides on Sunfyre grew longer, farther, and more furious. It was not uncommon now for great bursts of golden flame to appear in the skies around King’s Landing.

Finally, Aegon broke. After sixteen days of desperate drinking, flying, and fucking, he simply could not take another moment of this turmoil. He looked out the window for a moment, letting the bright sun set his resolve, and set out to confront his tormentor.

-

Each afternoon, all the eligible young ladies staying at the Red Keep and in the surrounding estate houses gathered in the courtyard of the Weirwood Tree so the bachelors seeking a wife knew where to find them. Reluctantly, Lady Swann joined them.

By now, many of the women had already fully captured the attention of at least one man, so the gatherings were thankfully not as frantic as that first feast had been. And since no men had decided to focus their wooing efforts on her, she was able to simply relax with her back against the Weirwood, watch its leaves sway, and attempt to capture their beauty in her sketchbook. All in all, it was a rather peaceful way for her to spend her afternoons.

Until Prince Aegon again came looking for her.

The soft noises of conversation immediately halted, drawing her attention away from her current study of the many veins within a fallen red leaf. She looked up and saw the prince pushing aside lords and ladies alike as he stomped towards her.

He did not look like he had that night. Then, his gaze was full of lust. Now, those violet eyes only held anger. Terrible, bone chilling anger.

Several of those gathered in the courtyard fled. More still stayed, positioning themselves far enough away to satisfy decorum, but close enough that they would be able to hear everything. Though it was, in the end, unnecessary.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” The prince roared – so loudly that several birds left their perches in the tree and flew out of sight.

She was speechless, her heart pounding so fast and hard she was sure he could hear it.

“Answer me!” the prince shouted, now so close to her that she could see nothing but him. His reddened eyes, his flushed cheeks, and the furious set of his brow.

Her lips fell open, and she stumbled over her own name as she gave it to him.

 “You know that’s not what I mean, girl,” Prince Aegon sighed, pursing his lips and pressing her harder into the tree. “What did you do to me?”

“My prince, I have done nothing to you,” she pled, tears spilling from her eyes. Distantly, she heard yet more people leaving the courtyard, some of them wondering aloud if they should fetch a guard, or perhaps the queen.

“What are you?” It was like he hadn’t heard her words at all. “Some kind of witch, here to ruin me? Did Rhaenyra send you to destroy my reputation so she could ensure she takes the throne?”

She was so frightened that her mind was muddled, and in her frantic search for safety, she reached out and grabbed the first thing she could find. Unfortunately, that thing was Prince Aegon’s tunic.

He blanched and looked down at her fingers clutching the worn green fabric. When he faced her again, he did not look so angry – he looked almost afraid. “What are you doing to me?”

Lady Swann suppressed a sob and pulled her hands away. “I don’t know what you mean, my prince, please.”

The prince shook his head, finally taking a step back. “What you said to me… I don’t understand it. Why did you say it? What did it mean?”

“I…” She thought back to that night, the only time she had spoken to him, when she had said so little. “I wanted you to not hurt me, that is all.”

He frowned, his brows knitted together. “But you didn’t fight back. Why?”

“What could I have done to stop you?”

“But you didn’t even try,” he nearly begged. “Why didn’t you try?”

“Because my father warned me about you,” she answered, now savoring the grounding bit of the tree’s rough bark behind her. That pain was far more pleasant than this conversation. “I thought it would be… easier if I let you take what you wanted.”

Prince Aegon just stared at her. Not making a move to move closer or touch her. Like the very idea of someone near-willingly giving him what he wanted was unbelievable.

“I’m sorry,” she said, hardly believing it. Why did she feel the need to apologize to the man who had very nearly assaulted her, and who was now no doubt causing irreparable damage to her reputation. But there was something in his eyes that made pity wrench her heart. He was a wounded animal, and she could not let it die. “I’m sorry for making you feel like this way. And I’m sorry for whoever else hurt you to make you behave in this way.”

That was the wrong thing to say.

The rage returned to his eyes, and he reached out to seize her shoulders, pressing her against the Weirwood tree until she was certain her dress would tear. “I don’t need your fucking pity,” he hissed.

He shoved her once, then stepped away. “I don’t need anything from a whore like you!”

The gathered crowd poorly hid their gasps of surprise, and not so subtly watched the prince as he stomped out of the courtyard, somehow even angrier than he had been when he arrived. But they made no attempt to hide their stares when they turned back to Lady Swann. She could practically see the gossip forming in their heads.

Not wanting to hear their speculations, she fled from the courtyard.

At least now, she might not have to marry. For no one would want her after what Prince Aegon said.

-

Aegon was sick of sprawling out on his bed to contemplate the pile of dog shit that was his life. So, he let himself slide ungracefully to the floor, taking his fur blanket and an overstuffed bed with him.

Instinctively, he reached for a bottle of wine from the small crate he kept by his bedside. Alas, it was empty. He’d finished it all the day before and had therefore been so drunk he had not remembered to tell a servant to restock it.

It was probably for the best. He did not deserve the holy ecstasy a truly expensive bottle of Arbor Red brought him. Not after what he’d said to Lady Swann that afternoon.

How could he be so fucking stupid?

The obvious answer was that he was, in fact, fucking stupid. Yet it still felt like something beyond that. Something within him – the feelings he could not rid himself of – had taken away what little sense he still had, and stoked the fire of his anger until he could hardly see for his rage.

If he was a better man, he would apologize. But he was not a better man. He wasn’t even a good man – perhaps he never had been. Perhaps he was incapable of being a good man. Though, a truly bad man would not have considered that he should apologize.

Nor would a truly bad man be haunted by the warmth that bloomed in his chest whenever he remembered her final words. ‘I’m sorry for whoever else hurt you to make you behave in this way.’

As he gazed at the moon through his window, he had a revelation that utterly terrified him, down to his very bones – Lady Swann’s pity felt better than anything anyone else had felt for him.

-

Lady Swann had not been expecting anyone to call on her. Not a single suitor had called on her the evening prior, not after what happened between her and Prince Aegon. So when her lady’s maid announced she had a visitor, she was entirely unprepared. Her dress was old, but the most comfortable she owned, her hair had been left unbraided, and her eyes were still red from weeping.

What she was most unprepared for was seeing that her visitor was none other than Prince Aegon himself.

Quickly, and despite the fear welling in her gut, she curtsied. When she stood, she did not look him in the eye. “Welcome, my prince,” she greeted, wishing that her voice was not so wavering. “It is an honor to have you visit me.”

He laughed, a rich, deep sound. “Your manners are very fine, lady. But I do not delude myself in knowing that you are neither honored nor pleased to see me.”

She didn’t know how to respond to that. He was right, of course, but his words were almost… kind? Or at the very least, not rude. Just when she opened her mouth to reply, he spoke again.

“Please, allow me to begin.” He waited for her to nod her approval before continuing. “I have come to apologize for my behavior. I have been quite rude to you – though that is a mild way of putting it.”

The prince sighed and let his shoulders droop slightly. “Your first impression of me could not have been worse. It was wrong and cruel of me to pursue you the way I did that first night. I apologize sincerely for that, though I know that is a great insult to forgive.”

“I most especially want to apologize for what I said yesterday. My words were harsh and spoken only in anger. I should not have said them in the first place, and certainly not in front of so many witnesses.” He wrung his hands, dropping his gaze to the floor. “I do not expect you to forgive me, but I hope that you will not allow my abhorrent behavior to ruin your visit. And I will take every measure to quell the rumors surrounding our encounter yesterday.”

Lady Swann was more surprised than she had been when she saw him first walk into the room. Not only had he apologized, but it seemed sincere, and almost eloquent. He was right, that forgiveness would not come today. Perhaps not ever. Yet she could not find it in her heart to hate him. At least, not yet.

“Why did you do it?” The question burst from her unconsciously. But she had to know.

Prince Aegon again sighed, then ran a hand through his unkempt, greasy hair. “As for why I followed you, there’s not a good excuse, I simply wanted to have you. At first, it was to see if you were as skilled as your sister… or cousin? The Black Swan, I mean.”

She felt her cheeks flush at the mention. Her stranger of a cousin would never stop haunting her. “She is my cousin.”

“Right, well,” he stared intently at her shoes peeking out from under the too short hem of her dress. “I wanted to find that out, but also, you were simply beautiful that night. And you are now, too, of course! But at the feast, I truly could not take my eyes off you. I needed you.”

“And yet you did not take me, as you have so many other women.”

“Yes, well…” He finally looked in her eyes again, but looked away not a moment later. “It was what you said, about not wanting me to leave marks. None had ever asked me that before, and imagining you bruised was simply too much for me. I could not bring myself to do it.

“But then, I couldn’t get you out of my head. Even when I was with…” his flush faded into a blanche, “No matter what I did, I could not stop thinking of you. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before, so I was, honestly, frightened. I let my fear turn to anger and my anger turn on you. I’m sorry.”

Lady Swann was silent, not knowing how to respond to the prince. He apparently took it as a sign she wanted him to continue.

“Then what you said, about someone hurting me and making me this way, that frightened me, too.” He laughed, the sound pained and inauthentic. “Because I don’t believe anyone made me this way, I’m just… rotten.”

At that, she finally found her words. “No one is rotten from the beginning,” she said, quoting something her Septa had once told her. “Everyone in born good, it is what happens to them and what they experience that rots them.”

Prince Aegon smiled. “That is a sweet sentiment, but I don’t think I agree. I cannot remember a single moment where I felt good.”

“For that, I am very sorry. That is something no one should feel.”

He looked at her intensely, as though she held some long-sought answers. “It is a bad feeling, yes. Though, you make me feel like not all of me is rotten. Like there is some shred of me that still longs for goodness. And you are so good…”

She smiled softly, unsure why a small thrill went through her at the words. “We have spoked very little; how can I make you feel that way?”

“I don’t know… but, if you are willing, I would very much like to find out why. And I don’t want to lose this feeling. If you would allow it, may I call on you again?”

There was something different in his eyes. Something that she only now noticed, as his eyes were no longer clouded by rage or lust. A great sadness – an eternal sadness. Like an entire ocean of tears, or an immortal grief.

She wanted to chase that sadness away. So, she inclined her head to hide her smile. “I will allow it, my prince.”

“Please, I would prefer you use my name.” He blushed nearly scarlet as he made the request, and smiled bashfully.

“Very well. I will allow you to visit me again, Aegon.”

-

Prince Aegon and Lady Swann began their friendship sitting in stuffed chairs on opposite sides of her solar. He was careful not to do or say anything that could be possibly misconstrued as a romantic or sexual advance. He wanted her to feel safe and comfortable. Most of all, he wanted her to like him. It didn’t matter if she ever felt the same longing he felt for her, so long as he could be near her, he was content.

After three turns of the moon, they began sitting on the couch together – but as far apart as they could be. Slowly, as she began to feel more comfortable looking him in the eyes, smiling at him, or even laughing at something he said, he began to return the gestures. He even grew comfortable enough to start trying to make her smile or laugh. Even though his heart sank every time he saw it, knowing he would never get to kiss it away.

After five more moon’s turns, they began to move closer. An inch every few days, until their legs were nearly touching. Aegon had to suppress the shiver than raced through his body each time they accidentally touched.

By the next moon’s turn, they hardly ever sat without touching – much to his delight. Some days, she would rest her head on his shoulder. Others, he would lie with his head in her lap. And on rare occasions, they laid across the couch together, with Aegon’s arms wrapped around her waist, holding her close.

He could almost be content with just this, not being able to kiss or touch her as he truly wanted to. But he knew it would one day disappear. She would marry, he would never see her again, and he would go right back to the way he was before her.

So, he cherished their afternoons together while he could. They never spoke about anything of consequence, but still, Aegon left her each day feeling happier than he had when he walked into her solar. And a little sad, for he knew he wouldn’t get to talk to her until the next day, and that one day, the conversation would be their last.

It usually took him at least a week to realize that they had spoken about something of consequence. Lady Swann had hidden a revelation she had somewhere within her gentle words, having figured out the source of his buried anger or a wrong that was done to him. Aegon never understood immediately, but once he did, he ran back to her the next day to talk more about how she knew, and what he could do to fix it.

He eventually came to privately call their meetings ‘good man lessons,’ for even though they never spoke of ancient philosophy or even religious morality, Lady Swan had a way of making him see more clearly the mistakes he had made and how he could be a better man.

He also came to privately calling her ‘hontītsos.’ Little bird. His little bird. The White Swan who sat on his shoulder and whispered her wisdom into his ear. Perhaps not the best metaphor, as swans were far too large to perch on his shoulder, and notoriously violent. But since it was only between them, he did not feel the need to come up with something cleverer.

As their friendship neared the end of its first year, he genuinely thought he’d been doing better. A better friend. A better brother. A better husband and father. A better son.

That had been his folly.

At the evening meal one night, he had spoken to his father. He tried to speak to him in the same way Lady Swann spoke to him when they first struck up their friendship, simply asking about the king’s day and if anything interesting happened.

Then the king called him ‘Daemon.’

His own father did not recognize him – his firstborn son.

He supposed it was to be expected. After all, the old man was decrepit and half-rotted beneath his gaudy golden mask. Surely that decay would have extended to his mind by now, if it hadn’t long ago. But still, it stung.

Aegon was the son his father had dreamed of, according to his mother. The boy fated to wear the conqueror’s crown. It seemed Viserys had forgotten that dream as well. He never forgot Rhaenyra. Only Aegon and his full-blooded siblings.

It was a hurt Aegon thought he was accustomed to. He remembered so clearly how his father had all but ignored him when he was young, especially once Rhaenyra’s bastards came along. He attempted to befriended the little runts to draw his father’s attention – to no avail. Though, he had been quite a shit in his youth.

Still, he had thought all his efforts to become a better man would make his father notice him, perhaps finally see him as a suitable son and or even an heir. He felt so foolish to think that. But he was comforted, in some small part, that he would talk to Lady Swann about it the next day. Then she would make him feel better. She would make him feel like the man he was trying so desperately to be.

The hours he had to wait to be beside her again were hell, but finally, he found himself once more lounging on a couch in her solar, his legs hanging over the armrest while his head was laid in Lady Swann’s lap. Her fingers combing through his hair was absolute bliss. Though they halted when he blurted out the sentence that had been clanging in his head since dinner the night before.

“You don’t want to be king?” she asked in disbelief, raising her brows in surprise.

Aegon smiled at the expression, she looked so pretty today. He nodded up at her. “To save my family, I would do it. But no, it is not what I would choose for myself.”

A short silence passed before she responded. He loved that, how she thought so carefully before speaking every time. “What would you choose for yourself, if you were given the chance?”

The question weighed on him like an anvil of iron on his chest. He had never even considered another option before. It had always been either become king, or be killed by Rhaenyra to eliminate any threats to her throne.

“I don’t know really,” he finally answered. “I never let myself think about it for too long.”

“Think about it now, then.”

He both loved and loathed how she challenged him. Of course, he knew it was good for him, but some days he just wanted to relax and bask in her very presence. She was the only comfort, save for his children, that he had found in this godsforsaken place. At least, since he had stopped drinking and fucking with abandon. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been to the Street of Silk or had drunk more than a single goblet of wine at a meal.

“I’d leave Westeros,” he declared. “There are too many memories here. To many reminders.”

She thought about her answer for a moment, her eyes narrowing in the adorable way they always did when she was thinking very hard. “Wouldn’t you miss your family?”

“Yes, of course.” He began to truly think about the possibility, of how it would happen – How he could make it happen. “Perhaps I could take Helaena and the children with me. She would be glad to leave court, and the children are young enough that they wouldn’t remember anything before we left. Mother and Aemond wouldn’t leave, nor Daeron. But I would write to them often. More to mother than my brothers.

“I think I’d go to Braavos. I want to see that big statue they have and experience the cold. And I’d like to have my own boat to navigate the canals. That would be fun. I could be a fisherman! Though I’d have to first learn to fish… fisherman go out in the mornings, don’t they?” He looked up at her for confirmation. Of course, she would know, she knew everything, it seemed.

“I believe so,” she said with a mischievous smile. It was not one she wore often, but one he savored each time he saw it. “Which means you would have to learn to wake quite early. Do you think you could do so?”

“I could!” He feigned offense, but he knew she was right. Even now that his routine had changed, he still often didn’t wake until the sun was well into the sky. “But I’d have to find something to do the rest of the day. Hmm…”

Aegon stared at the ceiling, imagining what he could do if he was free of his obligations, if he would finally be able to do what he wanted. “I could learn to paint? Yes, I think I’d like that – to be able to create something beautiful. All by myself.”

She smiled down at him, curling a lock of his hair around her finger. The smile was genuine, he could tell, but laced with sadness. “That sounds like a wonderful life.”

“Of course, I would only go if you went with me.” He had not meant to say it. He didn’t want to scare her, not after spending so long rebuilding what he had broken with his first words to her. And yet, it was true. If he was imagining a perfect life, it would be incomplete without her there beside him.

“Aegon, I…” her smile had faded, leaving her looking down at him with wide, sad eyes.

“I would be too scared to be alone,” he said, raising himself from her lap so he could look her in the eyes. The temptation to reach out and take her hand was immense, but he resisted – he had already fucked this up enough today. “I’d need someone to talk to. Helaena and the children… I love them, but I can’t talk to them. Not in the way I do with you.”

She was silent for a long while – far longer than Aegon was really comfortable with. Then, she finally said the best thing he’d ever heard.

“I think I would like that, too.”

-

SWANN POV: After she tells him that her father would take her home soon, Aegon admits to LS that he loves her, and wishes that he’d met her before he’d been forced to marry Helaena because he loves her. Aegon comes up with an idea to keep her in King’s Landing

Lady Swann sighed in contentment as she laid upon the couch with Aegon in comfortable silence. She had not wanted to let their conversation end – not today. So, they sent for their evening meal to be delivered to her solar and continued to talk.

By now, Aegon’s eyes were closed as he rested his head in her lap while she absentmindedly traced the patterns of embroidery on his tunic, considering how impossible she once would have found the arrangement when she first came to the Red Keep. He had been so cruel to her those first weeks. She had been afraid of him. And now, she could not imagine life without him.

Did it make her weak, that she could forgive what he had done to her, and what he had tried to do? Perhaps she should have shouted his wrongdoings from the top of the highest tower, but she didn’t. And she could not bring herself to regret it.

“Hontītsos?”

She let out a pleased hum at the sound of the nickname, especially when his voice was so deep and gravelly from exhaustion. “Yes, my prince?”

Aegon opened his eyes, the peace fading from his face as he looked into her eyes. He looked unsure, almost afraid. It was a look she had not seen since he first came to her asking for her friendship and aid. She hoped it would vanish soon. She did not want to end this night sadly.

“Am I a good man?”

Her hand immediately stopped in its path as she considered the question.

“You have a good heart, Aegon,” she said, resuming her gentle caresses.

Aegon frowned. “That is not the same thing.”

“No, it is not.” She placed one hand over his heart, feeling it falter and race, and the other on his cheek to ensure his gaze remained on her. “You have done terrible, wicked things. Things that a good man would not do.”

He nodded, all too aware of his past evils. She watched his eyes glaze as he remembered his past misdeeds and knew how sharply his regrets pained him. His chin wobbled as he looked back up at her, tears slipping out of his eyes. “Will I always be wicked?”

“No,” she assured, wiping away his tears. “But when you act on what your good heart tells you to do, when you atone for the wickedness of your past, I believe you will become a good man.”

He smiled as his tears fell, leaving shining pathways on his face. She could not resist tracing them with her little finger.

“I think I am in love with you, hontītsos.”

Her heart skipped a beat, then another, before it began to beat again.

“You only ‘think?’ you’re in love with me?” She tried to keep her voice light and bordering on humor, but she did not think she succeeded.

“Well… I have never felt love before, so I don’t know what it’s like.” Aegon said, like he was talking about the simplest thing in the world. “But I think what I feel when I see you, or hear your voice, or feel your touch… I think that might be love.”

Perhaps she had fallen asleep on the couch, and this was some wild dream. “I would describe to you what love feels like, but I am afraid I don’t know myself. I have only ever read of how love feels.”

“Then tell me what you have read, please. I need to know.”

She did not look at him as she recalled what she’d read in her favorite storybook. “When you love someone, you feel it in your heart. It feels like it can only truly beat when you are with the person you love, and when you are apart, it aches for them.”

At last, she looked back at Aegon. “Is that what you feel?”

There was no hint of hesitation or doubt on his face when he smiled. “Yes. That is exactly what I feel.”

Again, her heart stopped. But her mind raced. This was real. Aegon had just declared his love for her. The man who had tried to take her virginity unwilling and publicly called her a whore, now he loved her.

Why did that fact make her so happy?

In the past months, he had become so much more than that man who had so easily made her miserable. He had practically become a new man. That man, she liked very, very much. It had been so easy to define love while she was looking at him. Was that because…?

“I feel that way, too.” Her words were soft and unconfident, but Aegon beamed at her, nevertheless. “But I –”

“No!” he raised a hand to cup her cheek. “No buts. Buts mean something is wrong, and how can anything be wrong right now?”

“My father is taking me back to Stonehelm in ten days.”

-

SWANN POV: Aegon tells Lady Swann that Aemond has agreed to their proposal. Overjoyed, she kisses him, and they make love for the first time.

“I need you to propose to Lady Swann,” Aegon told Aemond as he prepared for his morning training with Criston Cole.

Aemond stared back at him with a face like stone. How could he be so damn menacing with only one eye?

“And why do you need that?” Aemond turned his back on his brother as he spoke, carefully selecting a weapon from a table full of dozens of knives, daggers, swords, axes, and a few weapons Aegon could not name.

It may not have been the best idea to ask for this favor when there were so many weapons around.

Aegon sighed, “Because her father will take her home if she does not find a marriage within the next nine days.”

Aemond faced him again, staring at him as he ran his nail along the edge of his sword. “And why does that matter to you, brother?”

Bastard. Aemond had grown from an annoying twat to a despicable bastard – though he would never say that out loud. “She…” he sputtered. “She has become a close friend. She does not want to leave the capital, so I am trying to do her a favor.”

“So, I must marry her, rather than any other man within the city?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Can you stop asking me so many questions?”

“I will if you answer me.”

“Fuck you,” Aegon grumbled. Though Aemond didn’t react, it was clear he’d heard it. “It’s because… it would be a beneficial arrangement for both of you.”

Aemond cocked his head. “How would it be beneficial for me?”

“You said you would stop asking questions.”

“Your answer prompted more.”

“I hate you so much,” Aegon sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He was already sweating in the morning heat, yet Aemond looked perfectly comfortable and dry. “It would benefit you because it would stop mother and Otto from hounding you to find a bride. And you wouldn’t be expected to perform the normal duties of a husband.”

At that, Aemond raised a suspicious brow. “What duties are you referring to?”

With a smirk, Aegon whispered, “Your duties in the bedchamber.”

His eye widening, Aemond glanced around the training yard and lowered his voice to not be heard. “We would still be expected to produce an heir.”

“Ah, but there is another way to seed her with Valyrian stock, dear brother,” Aegon said with a triumphant waggle of his brows.

Aemond said nothing for a moment, then gave the barest hint of a smile. “I had my suspicions. Thank you for confirming them.”

“So, you’ll do it?”

“I will.” Aemond sheathed his sword and began walking away. “Would you convey the proposal to her, I think she would enjoy it more coming from you.”

-

Lady Swann had been sitting on the same spot on the couch for so long that the cushion below her had sunk several inches. She simply could not move. Now when, at any moment, Aegon could walk through the door and change her life forever.

The sun had reached its peak when he finally appeared, a broad smile across his face.

“Aemond agreed?”

“He did.”

She did not know what possessed her, but she threw herself off the couch and into his arms, crashing her lips against his. The kiss was sloppy and unskilled, but full of hunger and passion. She figured that Aegon wasn’t put off by her lack of experience by the way he growled into her mouth.

He forced her to pull away to catch her breath, which was a good thing, as she would have gladly kissed him until she suffocated. With a smile, he brushed her hair away from her face and pressed his forehead to his.

“Why Lady Swann,” he teased. “How improper you are. Shouldn’t you wait to give me your virtue until after you’ve married my brother?”

-

She did not wait, much to Aegon’s delight. She gladly allowed him to show her everything he’d ever learned about pleasing a woman. To his surprise, he even discovered some new tricks in his time with her.

They spent every night together, making love until they fell asleep in each other’s arms. Aegon introduced her to his children and Helaena, who were all immediately taken with her. As if there was any other possibility. And eventually, he became proficient in pretending that he was not about to stab Aemond when he saw him standing next to her, holding her hand as was proper for a betrothed pair. Eventually.

Aegon was happier than he had ever been. It was wonderful.

And it all fell to shit so fast.

The sniveling bastard who had taken Aemond’s eye was officially declared the true heir of Driftmark. After, the king commanded a family dinner, which had gone about as well as Aegon expected – though he did not think it would be Aemond who struck the final blow.

Then, the king did the kindest thing he’d ever done for his younger children, and promptly died. The relief was short-lived, however. Otto and his mother sent guards to pull him out of Lady Swann’s arm and truss him up for his coronation, which had somehow been even worse than the dinner.

Lady Swann had been inconsolable that night, distraught that Rhaenys and her dragon had come so close to killing him. Aegon promised the next day would be better, but it was not. Otto smashed her betrothal to Aemond so he could make a more advantageous match in preparation for the war Aegon actually prayed would not occur.

Aemond struck the final blow there, too. Killing little Luke Velaryon in the dark skies above Storm’s End. At least the betrothal with one of Lord Baratheon’s daughters remained secure.

But that slight would not go unpunished. Mere weeks later, assassins had entered the keep, and slew Jaehaerys, Aegon’s heir. Right in front of his mother and siblings. It was truly a war then.

No one could know what would happen, and no one was safe.

Aegon had already endured the loss of one of the people he loved the most, he could not endure it again. So, his remaining children, Jaehaera and Maelor, were sent away for their safety.

As was Lady Swann.

She had fought him fiercely. But their relationship was still not publicly known, and if the news somehow came out, she would no doubt be Daemon and Rhaenyra’s first target. It was for that same reason that Aegon forbade her from contacting him. He would send messages when he could – he had worked out an extensive, illogical route with Grand Maester Orwyle that would make them impossible to track. Even then, the messages would be few.

Eventually, she agreed to go. Only after Aegon had broken down in tears in front of her, begging her in a way entirely unbecoming of a king. But she had to be safe.

So, six days after the loss of his son, Aegon stood in his rooms – his old room, now – and looked down at the courtyard and his beloved got in her wheelhouse and went far away.

-

My love,

It had been less than a moons turn, and already, I miss you desperately. I hope you have settled back into Stonehelm well, and that you are safe and comfortable. Though I am glad you are safe, I still find myself aching for your voice, your smile, your touch. Getting them back is my greatest motivation to win this war.

As much as I do miss you, I told you that I would only contact you when it was necessary, and I will hold to that. In ten days, Aemond and I will be flying to Rook’s Rest to join the siege. It is our hope that this will draw Rhaenyra or Daemon, or perhaps both, to come to their ally’s rescue. If all goes well, which I am confident it will, we will cripple the Blacks so thoroughly that the war will be all but won.

Pray for me, darling. Though I am confident, this is my first battle, and I admit that I do feel somewhat nervous. But only slightly! You know your love is a brave, strong man, and I do not want you to think otherwise.

With luck, I will see you soon, my hontītsos,

Aegon

-

Everything hurt.

Aegon was burning – one moment with fire, the next with ice, as if he was torn between two hells.

It was hard to tell what hurt the most. Was it the ringing in his ears, echoing unending through his head? Was it the way his every breath seemed to shatter his bones anew? Or was it the impossibly heavy weight upon his left arm that felt like it was made purely from the God’s wrath?

He did not have time to decide before the world faded to black. It was almost a relief – but not one long lived.

His pain had not lessened in however long he’d been in a dreamless sleep. In fact, it seemed worse.

No longer was he frozen with the pain; his eyes screwed shut of their own accord. When he awoke, the bright light of whatever hell the gods had condemned him to shone bright as the fires of the sun itself.

There were others in this hell, whispering around him, but he could only make out their shapes against the brightness. We’re they his fellow damned, or his tormentors?

That question was answered when a searing pain ripped through his arm, worsening the agony it was already providing him.

Aegon screamed. A sound to wake both demons and angels.

They were cutting through him, slicing his flesh away bit by bit. When they had fully disassembled him, would they put him back together only to start again?

Oh gods, he was not in the hells.

His eyes finally adjusted to the brightness, and he wished he was in the hells. But no, that was Grand Maester Orwyle standing above him, a small, sharp knife in his hand. There was some Maester in training beside him, looking nearly ill as he held up a great bowl.

Aemond. Aemond was there, standing in the corner next to their grandsire and Larys Strong. They all stared at him in both fear and disgust. Aegon could swear he even saw a tear run down Aemond’s cheek.

Worst of all, his mother was there, kneeling by his bedside, his right hand clasped in hers as she wept and prayed.

Each slice of Orwyle’s knife brought a new agony, sending images racing through his mind with every pounding heartbeat.

The walls of Rook’s Rest rising on the horizon. A great army was below him. The shape forming in the distance, growing closer with each beat of its wing.

For a moment, he caught a glimpse of read scales. Caraxes? Had Daemon come? Was it he who had done this to Aegon?

No, not Caraxes. Meleys. Princess Rhaenys had done this to him. He remembered now. The sickening sound of claws ripping through scales. Sunfyre’s horrible howls of pain. Fire. Blood. Death.

What happened to Rhaenys? Had they killed her, or had she escaped? Aegon vaguely saw the massive form of Vhagar racing towards him. Perhaps after he and Sunfyre had fallen, Aemond had finished her off.

Gods, Sunfyre. Where was he? Was he as hurt as Aegon was? Who was tending to his wounds?

His throat burned as he struggled to force breath and words out, but eventually, he succeeded.

“Sunfyre… alive?”

It was Aemond who finally responded. “Yes, he is alive. He is fine, brother. Do not worry for him.”

Funny, Aegon thought, how his genius brother could somehow be such a terrible liar. It was a wonder how anyone believed his engagement to Lady Swann to be genuine.

Lady Swann.

Was she here? Did she know what happened to him? Was she on her way to King’s Landing to be by her side? Was she safe?

“Hontītsos…?”

Again, Aemond answered, his voice hesitant and words vague. “She is safe, should I send for her?”

“No!” The shout sent throbbing pain echoing through him like the ringing of a bell. “She can’t see! She can’t see!”

He did not know what he looked like, but he knew it couldn’t be pleasant. She could not see him like this, broken and pitiful. Not until he was strong once again.

His mother was asking rapid questions. Who was ‘hontītsos?’ Why did her sons worry for her safety? Why couldn’t she see him?

Instinctively, Aegon turned away from her, seeking to escape the questions which he could not answer.

It was a mistake.

He finally saw what Orwyle was doing to cause him such pain.

The skin of his left arm had gone silver, the metal shining beneath the blood and soot stains. No, not silver, steel.

His fucking armor has melted into his skin.

Now, Orwyle was carving it off, bit by bit, as though he was selecting the finest cuts of meat from a roast.

Aegon screamed anew, and he did not stop until darkness again swept him into a merciful dreamless sleep.

-

My Dearest Lady Swann,

My brother asked me not to write to you, but I could not reconcile myself with keeping you ignorant of this. I know it may cause you pain, and for that, I apologize. But you deserve this knowledge.

I am sure that, by now, you have received news of the battle at Rook’s Rest, or if not, that it will arrive soon. The battle was a great victory, as we were able to end the threat of at least one of my half-sister’s dragonriders. It is a shame, however, to lose a dragon as magnificent as Meleys.

Apologies, that is not the purpose of this message.

In the battle, Aegon was gravely wounded. I will spare you the details, as I have no desire to cause you further distress. However, I will tell that the Maesters say it is quite likely he will live, though they fear complete recovery impossible.

For now, he is confined to his bed and given a substantial amount of milk of the poppy to keep the worst of his pains away. But he is not well, and likely will not be for some time. It is for this reason that the Small Council has bestowed upon me the title of Prince Regent and Protector of the Realm, so that Aegon may focus on his recovery rather than the fight for his throne.

I will continue to urge him to write to you, but I cannot guarantee my success. When I spoke with him of you, he was quite adamant that you could not know the severity of his injuries. I tried to counsel him otherwise, but he stood firm. I believe he fears how you would react if you saw him in his current state. He would not want to frighten you or face your revulsion – which I have told him is not something you could ever feel for him.

If I cannot convince him to write to you, I will take up the duty myself. I know how dearly you care for each other, and I would be remiss if your only remaining connection was severed. As with Aegon’s messages, mine will likely be infrequent and brief. But they will come, my lady, I assure you of that.

I hope you remain well. I will pray for you and Aegon both.

With best wishes,

Prince Regent Aemond Targaryen, Protector of the Realm

Lady Swann ran to Stonehelm’s Sept, the letter still in hand as she fell to the marble floors. There she stayed until the sun had set and then threatened to rise again, praying and weeping. She was sure that if Aegon died, she would die too.

-

Aemond sent her no good news. There were small victories, yes. But they were far outweighed by tragedy.

Helaena was still not recovering from her grief.

Nor was Sunfyre recovering from his injuries.

Maelor was dead.

Jaehaera missing.

Cole had been killed.

King’s Landing was taken, Aegon’s whereabouts a secret.

That was the last letter she received from her former betrothed. It was not until weeks later that she learned why: Aemond had been killed at the God’s Eye, and he took Daemon with him into the lake’s cold depths, along with both their dragons.

She was truly alone now, and she did not even know where Aegon was, or if he was still alive.

Her routine became nothing more than spending each day praying in the Sept. She ate only at dawn and then again whenever she finally returned to her rooms – sometimes at dusk, sometimes while the moon was still high in the sky.

It was a shell of a life, but it suited her. She was, herself, a shell of a woman.

Until finally the news came – in a letter written in a familiar hand.

Aegon was alive, and on his way back to King’s Landing from Dragonstone, where he had been since fleeing the castle. He had captured Rhaenyra, and with Sunfyre as his weapon, finally ended the war.

He was coming home, and he asked that she join him as soon as she was able.

…Though we are victorious, I do not find myself feeling so. But it is my hope, that once you are back in my arms, all will truly be righted…

She was in a wheelhouse by the next morning.

-

The landscapes of the Stormlands and Crownlands passed through the windows of Lady Swann’s wheelhouse in a blur. Though the journey to the capital took just over two weeks, it seemed to her that it passed in mere moments – though some days it felt like an eternity.

King’s Landing itself was little more than a mass of pale stone and red tile, the Red Keep only a mountain of rusty brick.

There was only one thing that mattered to her, one word that repeated in her head like the ringing of bells – Aegon, Aegon, Aegon.

The queen, or the former queen, greeted her in the bailey, or at least she thought she did. Others may have been there as well. But she’s paid no attention to them. She burst through the great doors as quickly as she could.

She ran through the labyrinthine halls of the keep with little care of who saw her or who was in her way. Thankfully, most leapt out of her way the moment they saw her. Only one person, a young servant girl she recognized, even spoke to her. She was grateful for the girl, for she had shouted that Aegon was now in the King’s chambers – he had not yet been moved when she left.

So, she found herself at the carved wooden doors of the the King’s chambers. Doors she had never passed through before. Doors which were the only barrier between her and her love.

Only a moment’s hesitation passed until she swung those mighty doors open.

Aegon.

Someone must have told him she had arrived, for he was waiting for her by the eastern window, framed in gold by the setting sun. He was seated in a large chair with two wheels upon its sides, his legs covered with a heavily embroidered blanket. His eyes still shone as brightly as she remembered, their corners wrinkled slightly as he smiled.

But that smile wavered, and his eyes filled with tears. For a moment, he reached out to her.

“They’re all gone,” he wept. His voice was rasping, and weaker than it had been. But the agony in his words was clear as glass.

She ran to him, kneeling at his feet and took both his hands – one precisely as it had been when she left, one now gnarled and scarred – and placed them on her cheeks. To let him feel her warmth, her tears, her life, which he himself had ensured.

“I’m still here, my love,” she whispered. “I’m still here, and I will never leave you again.”

Aegon gripped her tighter as he lowered his head, placing a gentle kiss to her temple before resting his brow against hers. “You’re here. You’re alive… thank the fucking gods.”

She laughed for a moment, until tears overtook her as well, and she simply held him and wept with him.

It was long enough for the sun to complete its descent before Aegon finally broke their embrace. He pulled away, his hands still cradling her face, and smiled sadly. “I am so sorry you must see me like this, hontītsos. You deserve more than a broken man.”

Her brow furrowed in anger. How dare he think such cruelty about himself?

“You are anything but broken,” she insisted, holding his wounded hand in her own. “You bear scars, yes, but you have not been broken. You have survived what would have killed other men three times over, what would have driven them mad. I do not see a broken man before me, I see a man stronger than anything. A man I love with all I am.”

Aegon gave her a watery smile, obviously struggling to hold back more tears. His mouth twitched like he wanted to speak, but it took him long minutes to finally do so. “I only survived it all because I knew I must live to see you, at least one last time.”

“I am here now, and you will see me every day for the rest of our lives. I promise.” She would ensure it, even if she had to move mountains to make it true. They would never lose each other again.

She placed her hands over his and lowered them to cup her neck – exactly as he’d liked it when he kissed her. Then, she put one hand on his hip, and the other on his scarred cheek. “Does this hurt?”

He let out a breath laugh and shook his head. “No. I fact, the feeling is distant, as if it’s hardly there.”

“So, will you feel it if I kiss you?”

“I think there is only one way to find out, hontītsos.”

She dove for his lips without hesitation, kissing him with all the pent-up love or more than a year gone by since she’d last had this opportunity. His lips felt exactly the same – thank the gods – though there were moments when her nose would brush against the raised skin of his scars and remind her of what had happened to him. But those memories only made her kiss him harder, deeper. She never wanted to stop.

It was Aegon who pulled away. Only slightly, so there was just enough space between them for him to speak. “Marry me, my lady Swann.”

Her mouth fell open in surprise. She never thought she would ever hear those words for him. It had always been impossible. But now…

“You need a new queen,” she whispered in realization.

Aegon nodded solemnly. “And new heirs.”

“Jaehaera isn’t your heir?”

He laughed, though there was no joy in his eyes. Only grief. “After all that’s happened, I would have to be incredibly stupid to try naming a girl as my heir.”

She supposed it was true. Though there were few Targaryens left to contest the choice if he made it. Still, he wanted to marry her.

There were no more false betrothals, no more sneaking around the castle, no more lying to everyone about how they truly felt about each other. At last, they would be able to publicly declare their love for each other, to sleep in the same bed without fear of someone finding them, to be able to finally do everything they wanted to do, together.

It was far beyond the paltry dreams they’d allowed themselves. It was perfect.

“Of course I will marry you, Aegon. Nothing would make me happier.”

He kissed her again, and they did not stop until the morning.

-

Only a few days later, Aegon sat alone in the same wheelhouse that had once taken him to his coronation – what he’d thought to be his final damning. Perhaps it had been, but it was hard to feel like a damned man that day.

For it was the day he was to make Lady Swann his lady wife.

The morning of his wedding to Helaena, he’d gotten so drunk that Aemond had to keep him standing through the ceremony. If only he could still have them with him, to laugh about the memory.

He would not get drunk today. He wanted to remember every detail of this glorious day – the day that would forever seal his victory in this horrid conflict.

Though, perhaps he would take one or two sips of the wine bottle someone had put in the wheelhouse, just to calm his nerves. He truly feared that she would look so beautiful that he would forget his vows, or burst into tears, or even just faint at the sight of her.

So, he took one sip, then another, then stopped himself. He did not want to over-imbibe when he had not done so for so long. It would not do to appear out of sorts at his wedding. This would be a happy day.

The wheelhouse was halfway up the serpentine steps when he felt the first pains.

At first, it was easy to dismiss it as the result of nerves, or the winding ride, or even the burn of the wine in his throat.

But then it got worse. So, so much worse.

It started in his stomach, then spread to his chest. From there, it radiated through all his limbs and climbed up his throat with teeth and claws and rage.

He was burning again. But there was no fire. He was burning from the inside.

By the time he realized it was poison, he no longer had the strength to call for help.

He fell back in his seat, the goblet tumbling to the ground and spilling the tainted wine over the floorboards. Already, his breath was becoming shallow, his vision blurring, and his body numbing.

But he did not think of who had done this to him, or why. What did it matter? It was done.

One last word escaped his lips, one last thought echoed in his fading mind.

Aegon whispered her name as he realized he would not get to see her in her wedding gown.

Then he died.

-

Lady Swann knelt on the stones of the middle bailey, her white gown stained with tears and dirt and blood. Everything was perfect, and then it wasn’t.

The screaming of the footman had drawn them from within the Sept. Every person who saw what lay within the wheelhouse also began screaming. Except for her.

She just knelt there, unable to even climb into the wheelhouse to sit beside him – his body.

His skin had gone gray, a fowl, unnatural color. Veins were visible beneath his skin, a darker shade of grey. As if his very blood had turned to stone. There was no color on him at all, save for the lovely violet of his eyes, and the horrible stain of red spilling from his mouth.

Someone was saying her name. Whispering it. Crying it. Screaming it. But it was distant – as if it were being said across the narrow sea. And the sound of her name, the once familiar letters and syllables, now seemed foreign. Like it no longer truly meant anything. Like it no longer belonged to her.

She had been called so many things. The White Swan. Prince Aemond’s betrothed, then that poor spurned girl. The future queen. Hontītsos.

What would they call her now?

It didn’t matter. She knew who she was.

She was the girl who loved Aegon Targaryen.

But Aegon was dead.

[madarasgirl]

Without You

Friends…I am a Mrs. now! The wedding stuff turned my head to goo...feeling very romantic (but also horny). Sorry for the sappiness in this story, which I baked on/off over the past month. This Alucard is pretty soft with his Reader until he wants to troll.

With how important a concept virginity is in the world of Hellsing, I was surprised by the lack of virginity loss fics, especially with a partner Alucard actually cares for. So I wrote one. Your decision was made. You will not forsake your humanity in exchange for an eternity with your vampire King. On the night he was to take your virginity, there will be no going back.

“Eternity is a long time, little one.” Tags/warnings: 18+ NSFW, Alucard (Ultimate) x Fem!Reader, Vladcard x Reader, Riocard x Reader. Romance, angst/comfort, emotional sex, loss of virginity, vaginal sex, creampie, oral sex, sex marathon, slight bondage & BDSM, partial mind control, anal, snowballing (?), tiny bit of predator/prey (Alu can’t help that side of himself), AFTERCARE, Alucard uses his abilities... Words: 10441

Tumblr won't let me post the full fic even though I've seen longer fics here before. So here's the link.

An excerpt is below the cut.

Dracula was crying. It felt as though he murdered you metaphorically even if you were still living, which was foolish because the sex only solidified the fact you will never turn into a ghastly vampiric monster like him. Yet the act also represented the end of something. The dream that you might always be together. Bloody tears stained his face and the silky sheets. He held you close, squeezing you into the soft mattress as he wept silently, unwilling to let you physically part from him.

You understood. Your arms found their way around his broad back and caressed soothingly in an oval track. Salty tears fell down your cheeks as you mourned with him –you mourned the fact you won’t always be there for him.

Sir Integra gave her blessing to your relationship with her servant years ago, instructing you to take care of him because he was little more than a sobbing child. Her words were nonsensical at the time. This creature of mass destruction, a sobbing child? She had been right all along.

You kept rubbing his back while you peppered his head with light kisses. You were lost in the intimacy of the moment, but when you came to, the vampire in your arms was Alucard again, peering at you lazily like he wasn’t vulnerable just now. This was the form in which you met. You loved him as the King, but also like this. You loved him in all his forms. You pet his sinfully alluring face as he purred and leaned into your touch. He loved to be touched. 

He was so beautiful it just wasn't fair. His stunning appearance and cryptic mannerisms used to fluster the heck out of you. Fortunately, after many years together, you managed to better compose yourself in his presence. Until the next time he discovered another way to pester you, as Alucard does.

The Cheshire grin told you he heard your thoughts. “I’m not reading your mind, sweet, you are telling me.” He looked too pleased with himself. You exhaled. Nothing was fair to begin with when it came to this immortal being. “Come love, join me in the bath,” you told him, making to get up from the tear-stained bedsheets when you were swept off your feet and into lean arms several feet off the ground. “Alu, I can still walk!” You laughed at his overprotectiveness.

A sound at the back of his throat reverberated as he silently drew the bath and poured in scents and products, never letting you out of his grasp while he waited for the tub to fill with steamy water. “We will rectify that by the time I am through with you.” He finally replied, lowering both of you into the water, a devious grin painting his lips.

The bubbly water level reached your shoulders. You wriggled against a toned, lanky body to get comfortable, ignoring the boner poking your rear as you enjoyed the bath with Alucard. His head was thrown back against the tiles as he felt you shift around, your vampire the image of relaxation and contentment, his long limbs hanging awkwardly outside the tub. You sighed and leaned against him, the soothing water jets the only sound in the room.

He washed you, sweat and fluids sliding off your body with each swipe of his hands. "My Queen. My love...I will protect you. Always." His voice was low, eyes lidded and rippling with intent as he scented your rising arousal.

He buried his long nose in the crook of your throat and crooned, the elixir of your blood that raced under the skin ravishing his senses. He had been obsessed with your neck since the night you met. How he loved to lick, nuzzle, and sniff your throat. Running dexterous fingers down your waist, he found slick vertical lips once more.

The vampire made his infamous landshark smile from behind you, two rows of pointy teeth glinting in the soft light of the bathroom. He lapped at the side of your jugular, a low moan sounding deep from his chest as he teased, “So tempting, love.”

You snickered, head tilting over as if to invite him in, daring him to bite as you held his head and pushed his mouth against your throat. His teeth ached with the compulsion to drink, your intoxicatingly heady aromas tickling his bestial nature…

His fangs descended, his cock twitched. Alucard growled, huffing and finally ripping away from the urge to sink fangs into your vein. “A dangerous game you play, little one.”

[alaskasmonsters]

May I request "is no an emotion?" with Toge Inumaki? 😊

𝖎𝖘 𝖓𝖔 𝖆𝖓 𝖊𝖒𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓? 𝖇𝖊𝖈𝖆𝖚𝖘𝖊 𝖎 𝖋𝖊𝖊𝖑 𝖎𝖙 (inumaki toge)

pairing: inumaki toge x gn!reader

content: fluff, soft soft soft, they’re exhausted cuz they’re students, toge’s silly words, lap pillow

a/n: this is such a cute prompt for toge frfr 🙏🙏 i hope you enjoy this one anon <3 i used that twt speech guide for toge’s words but i think his wiki also has a short guide. anyways salmon means affirmation/agree/positive feelings, and bonito flakes means no/deny/negative feelings. the difference becomes clear to reader through tone and how he says it. <3

☁️1k follower event (open)

You sighed. The afternoon had been tiring. Class had been especially boring today and training had been beyond draining.  

You were sitting cross-legged on your bed, surrounded by stacks of notes you were trying to organize. Toge was slumped forward in his seat at your desk, head using his folded arms as a pillow. He looked just as exhausted as you felt.

You watched him for a second before using one of your worksheets, not an important one you hoped, to crush into a small paper ball and aim it at the back of his head.

He grunted at the small impact, lifting his head a little to glance back over his shoulder and at you.

You leaned back on your head as you took in his tired features. 

“How are you feeling?” you asked, tilting your head.

“Bonito Flakes.”

You blinked. 

“No?” You repeated, surprised, making sure you had understood him right.

He nodded and repeated, “Bonito flakes.”

You chuckled in confusion, amused by his dry answer. “You feel no?”

Toge‘s eyes crinkled as he smiled. His collar was partially zipped down, revealing the corner of his lips as they curled upwards. It also gave you a glimpse of the seals next to his mouth.

He sat up a little and leaned back in his chair, arm reaching backwards and towards you as he motioned for you to come to him, grabbing a ballpoint pen.

You rolled your eyes, huffing as you crawl towards the ends of your bed where Toge rolled your chair to. You gave him your arm, waiting patiently as he removed the cap of the pen and started writing on the back of your hand.

As he finished and you pulled your hand back to read what he wrote an amused snort slips past your lips. 

On your skin, he wrote in his scrawly handwriting: Is no an emotion? Because I feel it.

“You’re a dork,” you told him with a smile on your face, “But I feel pretty ‘no’, too.” 

“Salmon.” He gave you a thumbs up, before getting ready to roll his chair back to its previous position at the desk.

You grabbed his wrist before he could and gave it a tug.

“The bed’s more comfortable, come here.” You pat the mattress, moving some of your notes out of the way as you scoot back, pulling him with you.

Toge didn’t protest but followed you willingly, waiting until you had sat down again and crossed your legs before dropping down and lying down, using your lap as a pillow.

He sighed happily, “Salmon.”

You ran your fingers through his hair and smiled down at him as he settled down, relaxing.

“You feel less ‘no’ now?” You poked his cheek.

“Salmon.”

[everythingwrongwithizumi]

Awkwardly Awarding

pairing: Satoru Gojo x fem!reader

warning: 18+, porn with plot, smut, dead relative, unprotected sex, oral(f), praise kink?, fingering, hickeys, teasing, pet names (nothing crazy!), squirting, overstimulation, Gojo being Gojo?, lmk if there’s anymore u see!

w/c: 5.8k

a/n: HELPPP😭 No one asked but heres an idea that came to me while I was playing the Sims TT First time writing smut lmk what u thinkkk ;) Also Tumblr being weird so hopefully this posts!

The death of my father wasn’t one I was not expecting. I mean sure, he was a nice dad, but he was never really there when I needed him. Instead of sitting around and complaining about him like I usually did I kept quiet this entire week. I was alone now and in an entirely new area with entirely new people. Arriving at the apartments was a bit overwhelming, to say the least.

The intense amount of traffic, high buildings, and busy streets were definitely sensory overload, but it didn’t matter because the view was absolutely phenomenal. Before Dad bit the bullet he did leave me a huge sum of money which allowed me to purchase my second ever apartment.

My last apartments did not compare to these newer ones, plus they were centered more in the city which meant I was now paying twice my old rent for this new apartment, but that’s what a trust fund is for, right? I didn’t have a lot to move, but it was still enough to fill up a small rented truck from the movers.

The hard part was now done! Was what I thought once all the boxes were moved into the apartment however, the organizing was actually going to cause me to jump off of this building through my beautiful window.

I went through the first few boxes with ease that was until I ran into my childhood things— yes I keep them in a separate box. Quietly I pulled stuffed animal after stuffed animal. Those didn’t hurt as much as the stuffed animal made in memory of my first late dog.

I couldn’t stop the tears from coming as I gripped the dog… Dick… oh how I missed that dog. His name wasn’t Dick that was the stuffed animals name, after the late Moby— who was my actual dog.

After a night of crying I had drag myself out of my makeshift bed made out of pillows and blankets because I was dumb enough not to buy an air mattress. This was the same job I had been working at previously.

Once I got home it was like feeling of dread washed over me. So, instead of cleaning and unpacking I found my self ordering Pizza. I’m not going to lie, I did pick up a few things but after I put up my landscape themed calendar I realized I forgot one big important thing.

A desk…

I rushed to grab my phone and open the Amazon app and after doing so typing up “desk” in the search engine. And after a minute of scrolling and biting my thumb nail I found the perfect one!

It had white drawers down the right side and a beautiful oak that would go well with the frame of the bed I had yet to put together. I sighed at the price, I guess left overs will have to do for dinner. It wasn’t that I was poor buuuut I spend a lot on the deposit for this place and I still had bills to pay and set up.

A couple of minutes later, still in my work clothes, I heard the doorbell ring. My tummy ached for the steamy and hot pepperoni pizza… there was a $5 deal…

I got up and walked to the front door. Out of habit, I looked through the peephole only to feel my mouth water at the sight…and smell. I opened the door wide open with a wide smile. After u paid for the pizza then sat down to eat said pizza, I packed it up and put it in the fridge this place came with.

“It came with all of the utilities,” my best friend I met at work asked. I sat the phone down on my makeshift bed before stripping to get into something more comfortable for bed, “Yes! And everything works—well I haven’t had to wash anything yet but we’ll see.”

I could hear my friend agree through the phone with a hum, “I suppose that’s why it’s so expensive.” I chuckled at her reasoning “Oh yeah, I’m definitely getting my pennies worth.” We talked a little while longer and she offered to come help since she knew someone in the area or in the same apartment but I told her it was fine.

Heading into work with a sore back was not ideal especially if you are standing all day which is not what I was doing exactly. The drive home was lengthier which meant I was more tired than usual. I almost had to pull over to take a quick nap, but I was on the highway so it wouldn’t even have worked out for me.

Once I made it home I was eager to shed off the clothing of running around delivering papers and sitting at a desk doing hand exercises so my hands wouldn’t cramp for how many emails I have to write.

Now left in my lazy but simple lacey lingerie I walked to the kitchen and pulled out a pizza and heated it up. My ears perked up at a notification going off from my phone on the counter. I grabbed it and was shown a picture of the box that contained my desk in it sitting beside my door.

I glanced at the time at the top left corner of my phone… 3:46 am… no one would be up at this time, right? I looked down at my body and waited for a couple of minutes to ensure the delivery guy was gone. I took a peak out the window and watched as his giant van of Amazon shit rode away.

I walked to the front door and opened it, the cool air of the hallway making the buds of my nipples perk up. I shivered and looked down at the box, it was quite big, but no match for me!

I tried to pull it from the side failing miserably so I opted to push it into my doorframe. I checked around the hall quickly, not spotting anyone I got behind the box and bent down to push the box forward. The grunts coming from my mouth covered the sound of a door opening right behind me.

I pushed my legs back and finally pushed the box fully in through the door of my apartment. I stood up straight and sighed placing a hand on my head because being lightheaded was enough for me. Still, I clearly wasn’t aware of the wide eyes of my neighbor right behind me who had been staring at my ass.

I turned to close the door and found myself face to face with my neighbor who stood in his own doorframe. My eyes widened and my ears started burning from embarrassment as I looked down to see what I was wearing.

I slammed the door shut and slumped against the door, my hands covering my face. If I wasn’t so caught up in the way I was dressed or feeling I would’ve noticed how handsome and hot my neighbor was.

Letting out a squeal of embarrassment I got up and just left the box in the entrance and went to grab my pizza that I had left in my microwave that was also provided.

Wanting to ignore whatever happened, I decided to turn in for the night and put my dish in the sink and padded my way to my bedroom with the bed still not made. Groaning out of frustration I took my place in the mess of the blankets and stuffed animals with a pillow or two.

Gojo

There was no way that happened, right? I’ve seen naked women all the time, but only as they present themselves. It’s been a minute since I’d seen someone naked not trying to impress anyone—or was she?

Taking a second to stop and bend over I looked at the watch on my hand,

4:20 am

Damn. I looked up and that’s when I felt it. The tightness in my joggers. This was going to be a long and uncomfortable run when all I could think about were her long and pretty legs. She looked like she smelt like lavender vanilla.

I groaned and began running once more around the city, the buildings never ending and the chatter and laughter never ceased. One girl— drunk no doubt—made eye contact with me. She was blonde, thin, and her tits we’re practically hanging out and when she turned and looked back at me my eyes shifted to her ass.

It was big, unnaturally so which made my mind travel back to her… when she bent over, the way her laced panties rode up the valley of her ass. The soft outline of her pussy, wonder what it would taste like?

Shit.

I had to come to a stop and fix my problem before it looked like I visibly pissed myself. “Hey,” I turn at the nasally voice behind me. I saw the way she looked at me up and down and letting my pride take over I smirked and glanced over her body for a second time.

She wasn’t with her friends this time which meant she sought me out in purpose. “Hey there,” she giggled at the dip in my voice, right on track. She offered for me to go back to her place just a block away, walking up to me and placing her hands on my biceps.

The walk there was mostly her talking about her friends and how much she hated them because she “knew” they were jealous of her. I didn’t really care and let her yap on, the hardness of my dick lessening as she spoke more and more.

As soon as we made it in her lips were on my neck and her hands were sliding under my shirt. Taking it off I forced her on her knees which made her grin up at me as she pulled the sweats I was wearing down.

Placing my hand on her head my mind went back to her… the way her h/c spread across her shoulders and the way her butt jiggled when she pushed the box through that door. The more I thought about her the closer I felt to cuming.

Y/n

“Ughh how long is this going to take,” I nearly pulled the hair out of my head in frustration. I was in the bathroom of my office and was currently trying to avoid the meeting. “You know no matter how hard you tug you won’t pull the boredom out of your head,” I turned to see my best friend smirking.

“Shoko, I feel like I’m going to die. I’m so under stimulated,” I practically whine and she just laughed and walked next to me. “Let’s go back, besides we get off in an hour and a half so this meeting shouldn’t last long,” her words naught some comfort to me as I sighed.

I pulled her in for a hug to which she returned, “What would I do without you,” I mumbled into her suit jacket backing her chuckle. “Let’s go out for drinks tonight, we both have the day off tomorrow in a long time,” she held me back from my shoulders.

Now that sounded amazing but I only sighed and felt myself visibly deflate, “I can’t, I still have a couple of things to unpack—“

“So come out when you’re done—“ Shoko interrupted making me frown even more, “I have to build a desk, Shoko.” Her face winced at that. The last time we both tried to build one it fell apart after we placed my computer in it, breaking to computer and the desk.

“How does tomorrow sound,” she spoke through her teeth cringing at the thought of building. I laugh at her suggestion and nodded. We both went back to the meeting and sat there for nearly two. More. Hours.

I know I needed the over time, but this was ridiculous. After another 30 minutes I looked at the clock to find it was 8:05pm. Then we were dismissed, the room filling with grumbles and mumbles of distain.

Once again, the ride home was long but out of sheer anger and annoyance I found myself eager to get home and build that damn desk so I can have fun tomorrow. Making in the building and to the elevator I sensed someone was standing beside me.

I glanced and nearly gasped at the sight of my handsome neighbor. The elevator dinged and we both made our way inside. The silence was deafening and the awkwardness was heavy. I shut my eyes so I wouldn’t have to see his face but was pulled out of my thoughts by his deep and soothing voice.

“I’m Satoru Gojo, haven’t had the pleasure of formally meeting you,” I opened an eye to look down and see he held his hand out. Then I looked up at his face and instinctively gripped his hand when the elevator shook.

“Y/n, it’s nice to meet you too…formally,” I wanted to shrink into a hole and die. His chuckle made my belly flutter and my chest tighten. The elevator dinged causing the both of us to let go of each others hand and get off.

We both walked side my side with each other, still in awkward silence. Stopping at our doors we stood there for a good minute not saying anything. I heard his mouth open as he was about to speak before I beat him to it, “Come inside?”

He nearly fell to his knees when he heard it.

“S-sorry,” his voice waived causing me to shake my head in embarrassment, “It’s okay if not, I understand it’s been a long day. I just wanted to welcome you into my new home as a friendly neighbor.” Was I stupid? Inviting a stranger— a man! Into my home.

I could practice at my dead dad screaming at the top of his lungs about me being stupid. “Sure,” his response caught me off guard. He was stuttering and mumbling just a second ago, now he’s running a hand through his hair and smirking?

I roll my eyes and we both walk into my home. I notice his eyes go to the box containing my desk on the floor as I try hard to ignore it. “It’s… not much and I’m still waiting to get a couple more pieces of furniture, but with my budget it’s gonna have to wait,” I gesture to the mostly blank living room and dinning area.

Really, the only places completely done were the bathrooms and the kitchen. I needed to set up my office and my bedroom. “It’s nice… cozy” he says looking around making me fake a laugh “haha,” this in turn causes him to laugh, a sound I never want to forget.

I walk to the fridge and open it, “I apologize, I don’t have much as far as food so I’ve just been eating takeout. Need to go grocery shopping by the end of this week,” I hear him hum in acknowledgment, “No it’s fine, I ate beforehand.”

A moment of awkward silence washes over us before he breaks it, “your desk.” What an odd thing to say. I look up at him in confusion. He’s standing on one side of the island while I stand on the other. I watch as he glances to the box in the entrance, “you still haven’t built you desk?”

I sigh in embarrassment, “N-no I haven’t really had the time.” I raise my hand to nervously scratch the back of my neck. The next words that come out of his mouth make my eyes light up, “I can build it for you. If you want?”

“Yes!” I answered a bit too quickly making his eyebrow raise. “I’m sorry I just—I’m no good at building and I asked my friend but she’s also not good at building,” he nods in understatement before he walks over to the box. “Where do you want it,” he asks picking up the box with ease making my jaw drop.

He walks over with the box in his hands, the veins in his hands and arms popping out making me gulp. “Sweetheart I’m gonna need you to use your words,” I look up at the words usually used for endearment. A faint blush rises to me cheeks as I point to an area in the living room.

“O-over there is—is uh fine,” I tell him and I hear the box run against his hair which meant he nodded in acknowledgement. Once he set it down he pulled out a pocket knife making me jump and he stabbed box open.

Who the hell carries a knife with them in the cit— that was a stupid thing to question. My eyes fall to his arms as he tolls his sleeves up, the oversized dress shirt accentuating the veins on his arms. Instinctively, my thighs clutch together as I watch from the kitchen island.

He grunts as he pulls out the large wooden plank causing me to bite my lip and he sets it up against the wall. Now all the pieces were out along the empty floor. He claps his hand together, “thank you for the build,” he speaks to no one.

Is he serious? Did he just turn a common eating phrase into a building phrase. Odd guy, I like him. I want him… “what do you think,” I was caught off guard once more by his panting and out of breath sentence.

Gulping I look to see that he’s done with the drawers, “I-it looks really good Gojo.” His smile grows wider, “call me Satoru!” I chuckle at his expression. Demon. How can someone so sexy speak so cutely.

Shifting my weight to my other leg I freeze at the sensation. I was wet… and it felt uncomfortable except for the fact that it was caused by Gojo. I took another glance and noticed his stance. He had one knee in the ground and the other balanced him out, foot placed firmly on the ground.

He didn’t look hard but boy, can eyes be deceiving. “Alright,” he spoke in a song making me giggle at him. He was sure adorable when he wanted to be. Was he done already? I can’t believe I was so in my head I didn’t even her him hammering or drilling the screws.

“I just need to place this on top and secure it then I’m all done,” he grinned at me and put his hand on the wood plank still being held up by the wall. Now that I had the chance, I glanced at his body full over. His hair was slightly disheveled and there were light traces of sweat coming down his forehead and neck.

Feeling embarrassed I let out gasp and walk to the cabinet with the cups and pull one out before placing it under the ice dispenser and changing it to dispense filtered water. Unaware of Gojo watching me and my form with an unfamiliar gaze.

Then I make my way over to him and notice the desk was now finished. “I couldn’t thank you enough, but here’s some water,” I tell him with a worried voice and shove the glass into his hands. His fingers grazed my as he walked closer to me.

I felt my breath hitch as I look up at the man who was now towering over me, “There might be a way—but ah~ I don’t wanna sound so sleezy,” I watch as he backs up slightly and his hand lightly shakes the back of his neck.

“N-no, not at all! Anything,” the tone in my voice unintentionally drops at the last word. His eyes narrow and then I feel his hands being placed on my hips. The water had been discarded and placed in the desk. At least it didn’t crumble under the pressure of water.

He brings one hand up and places it under my chin pulling me closer to his face as he leans down. “Let me taste you,” my thighs rub together at the raspyness of his voice. Noticing his eyes were now on my lips I let my gaze fall to his.

No way a man this beautiful with such beautiful lips had one of the most filthiest—in a good way— sentence come out of his mouth. I couldn’t take it, it felt like all night I was being teased so I gave in.

I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him into me, his lips puckered and pressed against mine. The kiss was heavy and needy. Just then, I felt the eagerness and desperation in the actions of his tongue. I let my mouth open slightly as his tongue slid inside.

His hands gripped my waist and turned me so my ass was pressed against the desk he had just built. He stops the kissing momentarily to speak, “let’s see how good this desk really is,” his voice sounded nearly like a purr.

I let out a soft hum in agreement as his hands slid down to the underside of my thighs, giving them a squeeze to signal to jump back onto the desk. As soon as I was on it he waisted no time placing his lustful lips all over my neck causing small moans to escape my mouth.

His hand made its way down to where I desperately needed him the most. Feeling me twitch beneath him, I could feel the smirk against my skin. That didn’t stop him from sucking my neck like a sex crazed teenager.

“Can I take this off of you baby,” he mumbled against the skin of my neck, the vibrations causing another moan to slip from my mouth. “Yes, please Gojo,” he didn’t like this. He ripped down the work pants I had on and the panties I was wearing as well.

“How many times will I have to keep saying it, say my name,” he almost sounded like a little kid having to give up their rights to their favorite toy. His hands were back on me as he pulled me closer to the edge of the desk rather harshly.

His hand also made its way back to my now unclothed center causing me to gasp. His eyes widened as he pulled back entirely and looked down then back up at me. The look on his face was one I’ll never forget.

He looked so genuinely happy and the way his eyes were wide with excitement made my heart and my pussy swell. He looked at me with pure adoration, something I rarely have done to me especially by men.

“Shit, is this all for me,” he beamed in excitement and when I nodded he fell to his knees at the sight in front of him. “It’s so pretty…” I felt the familiar heat rise in my cheeks, was I really embarrassed by his words?

My body tensed as he took two of his fingers and slid them down my labia, his way of teasing. I glanced down at him and he looked like he’d never seen pussy before making me slightly nervous. Then I felt it, the warm almost hot, thick, and wet muscle making contact with me.

He took his tongue and slid it from the base of my vagina all the way to the hood of my clit. I didn’t miss the way his tongue disappeared in between my folds and pussy lips. The sight making me more wet.

He looked up at me and I could see the clear but faintly white discoloration on his tongue before swallowing it in front of me, “oh you taste heavenly, just like I thought.” His hands were now hooked around my thighs as his tongue once again made contact with my pussy.

This time he licked around where I needed him the most causing me to squirm, “Satoru~,” he hummed at my whining, “Use your words sweetheart.” I couldn’t do this anymore, “Satoru eat me out already,” I begged causing him to chuckle lightly.

He wasted no time licking a stripe up all the way to my clit before wrapping his puffy lips around it. My hand flew straight to his beautiful head full of white hair. This only encouraged him to suck on my clit before releasing and placing a kiss on it before moving by down to lap at my entrance.

“S-Satoru,” I moaned out forcing my head back in pleasure. The hum of contempt send vibrations through my pussy causing my thighs to tighten around his head. He pushed forward and used his hands to spread my legs apart.

I looked down and the sight nearly made me cum on my own, Satoru's blue eyes were staring right up at me and instead of his wide ones, I was met with half lidded and dazed blue eyes. The tip of his nose was glistening under the living room light and his hair was moving as his head was shaking side to side with his tongue landing on my clit each time.

I forced my other hand onto his head in attempt to push him into me further. He showed no interest in backing away as he continued to suck and lap at my clit and folds. The ludicrous sounds echoed through the mostly empty apartment and the tightening in my belly pulled me back down to Satoru, “T-Toru..hng…I’m gonna cum—please, p-please let me cum.”

“Since you asked so nicely,” The vibrations from his sweet voice sent me over the edge as the grip on his hair only tightened and I attempted to push his head away so I wouldn’t be overstimulated, he however had other plans.

He retreated his lips from my throbbing clit with a pop and looked up at me as he inserted a finger through my hole. I gasped and looked down at him and he grinned at the sight of the flushed look on my face. “Toru,” I whined which only made him shush me, “Don’t worry baby, I’m gonna make you feel real good again, okay?”

I could only nod as I felt another finger join inside me. He smirked and began pushing them in and out at a steady pace making me gasp, “D-don’t stop, Toru,” he hummed in response and I felt the familiar warm lips wrap around my clit once more as the pace of his fingers sped up and began curling upwards inside of me.

I tried to mask the lewd moans coming out of my lips by placing my hands over my mouth. Another pop was heard and his lips were off of my and now frowning, “Don’t do that. Let the neighbors know how good I make you feel, scream if you have to,” he muttered the last part with a smirk before diving back in to lap at my pussy.

His words encouraged me to place the hand that was once over my mouth and into his head once again. Soon, I felt the feeling coming back again only this time, it nearly burned and caused my body to twitch against him. “T-Toru wait—there’s something—ah!”

I threw my head back as he pulled away slightly with an open mouth while his fingers continued to fuck me. The moans I let out sounded almost like screams of pleasure. Coming down from that high I looked down feeling my body and my legs trembling at Satoru.

His face was now covered in my juices and his hair was slightly damp. I blushed in embarrassment as his eyes looked up at me, sparkling. “I think I just came in my pants,” he admitted causing my eyes to widen as I spread my legs to look down.

Sure enough there was a stain in them, but it didn’t look like he was soft or getting softer. “If you’re alright with it, I don’t have a condom and I’d like to fuck the shit out of you,” my mouth gapped at his forwardness. After a couple of second of him smiling at me I spoke up, “Y-yes, I’m not on birth control and I’m clean so…”

His smile only grew, “I’m clean too!” Before I knew it, he was helping me take off my shirt and pulling his pants down along with his underwear. His eyes immediately flew to my chest and he lean forward to kiss the skin on my neck, littered with bruises now showing.

My eyes widened at his length. I had been with men, sure, but him? His dick was hard which caused it to stand up in the air with a slight curve upwards. It was lengthy just like he was—if I had to guess, 8 inches? He also had girth to him, it wasn’t huge but it was definitely big enough to hurt.

I felt his dick rub against my thigh as his lips trailed down to my chest. He reached an arm around to unclip the bra and pull it away. I could feel him twitch in excitement again as he watched my breasts fall free, the buds hardening at the coolness of the room.

I then felt his familiar wet and hard tongue drag around my nipple causing me to let out a soft moan and his eyes shot up to me. He smirked and used his other hand to pinch and roll the bud while his lips wrapped around the other causing my back to arch into him and his touch.

“T-Toru,” a hand flew to his head and ran from the nape of his neck to the top of his head and I felt him twitch against me again. “Hmm~” he moaned against me. “Please… please fuck me,” his eyes stayed on me and he lightly nibbled on my bud, then I felt him twitch against me again with his eyes closed.

Releasing my nipple with a pop he brought his hands to hook around my legs, spreading them apart as he bent his slightly to angle himself. The height of the desk was perfect for this exact reason.

I felt his warm tip trace up and down my slit causing me to whine, “Don’t tease Toru~ please…” he only grinned and lean forward to catch my lips in a kiss.

Then I felt it, he slowly entered inside of my causing my body to shift in slight discomfort. He groaned and wrapped an arm around my waist to pull me closer. Once he was in fully, bottoming me out, did he release the kiss.

“I knew you’d be mine the second I laid eyes on your pretty body,” the words would sound disgusting and rude if they weren’t coming from the most beautiful man known to man. That and his intentions. I bit my lip and earned him to move with my legs wrapped around him pushing him against me even closer.

He chuckled softly and lean forward to place one hand at the edge of the desk while his other held me up. I glanced down at the veins on his arms before pulling his face in for a kiss. He pulled out till his tip was almost out until he pushed back in causing me to moan against his lips.

After getting comfortable and him doing that a few times I whined, “Toru, faster,” he shook his head with a lopsided grin, “You’re such a baby.” I had no time to react to his words as he began to pick up the pace of his hips, snapping forward causing light screeches to come from the desk.

I moaned his name as I wrapped my arms around his neck the feeling of his cock throbbing in my pussy sending shivers through my body. He grunted and moaned in my face wrapping the hand that was holding me now placing it around the bottom of my chin. “Such a pretty pussy, you like that huh? I do~”

The sound of skin slapping echoed through the apartment as well as Satoru’s teases and praises. The grip under my chin releases and now he’s upright, pushing my legs back to fold and places them on his shoulders, not easing up on his thrusts.

The angle causes him to hit that spot causing the familiar feeling to bubble in my chest, “You gonna cum on my cock pretty girl?” He grinned and placed a hand on my pussy before rubbing side to side. I felt my back arch and my moans turned into squeals, “that’s right pretty girl, cum on my cock. You can do it, fuck…” he threw his head back increasing his pace in both his hips and fingers.

After a few seconds of thrashing around I feel myself tightening around him and releasing. His hips began stuttering but his hand didn’t stop and soon I felt the same other feeling flow through my body and the sounds of spurting fills the air, joining the symphony of lewd noises.

“Fuck!” I hear a shout from Satoru and he pulls out of my overstimulated pussy. I look down and watch as ropes of thick, hit, white cum shoots onto my pussy, belly, and the bottom of my chest. I take a moment to watch his body, he’s shuttering and shaking in pleasure. His eyes are glued onto my core as he releases.

After a minute of both of us panting and giggling, Satoru steals a kiss before hooking his arms around my legs pulling me into bridal style, walking me into my bedroom. “Where’s your bed,” he asks looking down at me. Shyly, I point to the big box on the other side of the room that had a 2d model of what the bed should look like.

He chuckled and shook his head before walking to the bathroom and placing me in the tub. The aftercare was amazing and dare I say hot. He had taken a bath with me and offered to have me sleepover at his place to which I was too tired to disagree.

So after we clean up and I give him a pair of oversized sweats that were a little too big on me, we made our way across the hall to his apartment. It looked exactly like mine in terms of the layout but the decoration was minimalist with hints of maximalist, in the bedroom was no different. I guess that’s how he knew my layout…

We both got into his king sized( obviously) bed and I felt his arms wrap around me to pull me close to him. “Satoru,” I call him name softly and he replies with a tired hum. “You thought about fucking me,” I question, bringing up a previous sentence he said. This made him burst out in a tired laughter causing my to pull back slightly and look up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“That’s what you took away from all that?”

“I forgot about it…”

[noroi1000]

Lost sparkle in the eyes 2

SatoSugu x reader

Warnings: mentioned disease

Words: 2k

@yukiji7w7

"Do not get up."

Satoru rushed over to you, grabbing your sides. Holding you, he gently placed you back on the mattress. Pillows under your head.

"My back hurts, Toru..."

"Give you a massage? More pillows?"

"I'd like to get up..."

"You can not."

"But..." You stopped.

Why are you arguing with him? You're not going to win against them anyway...

You still feel bad about what you did to them... But they... They forgave you, didn't they? You didn't want them to forgive you...

You wanted to die.

And they, as always, prevented you from decorating something bad...

"Shoko has forbidden us to let you get up for any length of time. You can only get up for a minute a day. That's all for now. You cannot exercise. Because you're too weak, and your body hasn't healed yet."

"I feel better now..."

"Better? Better?! You're on drips, we gave you blood because you nearly bled out! You fell 30 goddamn meters! You had broken limbs! Skull! Ribs! Damaged internal organs! I can't forget what I saw! I can't forget what Shoko said about your body! You have a spinal injury that cannot be repaired...! If we tried, the reverse cursed technique could accidentally damage your spinal cord! You would die! That's what you call feeling better?! It is not so easy to recover from this, even for sorcerers!"

His hands hit the mattress next to you. His mouth twisted in anger as he approached you.

"Is it really good for you? Can you really feel better after all this so quickly? No you can't... Because I still can't feel better. Do you think we can trust you after all this?"

"I wouldn't want you to trust him... I wanted you to hate me... If I were dead, I wouldn't need to trust you now... But you... Why must you always take care of me... Why always prefer me over you?"

"Shut up! Don't say anything!" he shouted. His jaw clenched.

Perhaps it was your hoarse voice, but it annoyed him. That you said...

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I did this to you... But it was the only way to make you hate me... Because if you hated me, it would be easier for him to kill himself... Without the remorse that you will mourn for me..."

"If you don't want to be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life, listen to us, okay?"

You nodded.

"Oh, baby, we really mean well for you." He leaned in to kiss your cheek.

"I know."

"Don't be angry with us. We just don't want anything to happen to you. Especially now when something could happen."

"I know."

"(y/n)..."

You looked at him as he said your name.

"Remember we love you." He kissed your lips softly before getting up and leaving the room.

As his tall silhouette disappeared behind the wall, you began to cry, wiping your tears with your hand.

What was it for?

Now you can die in their hands...!

You will live in pain!

Why did you do it anyway? Why did you want to die?

Now there won't be any moment where you can indulge yourself with fun... You won't be able to fall because you might get worse. Especially when you fall on your back.

If you don't listen to them, you'll be in a wheelchair.

If something happens, you'll be paralyzed at least from the waist down...

At what cost did you have to hear that they love you?

It's not fair that you had to pay almost your life to find out that since they take such good care of you, you are the most important thing to them.

You had to die in their hands to know that they love you.

Once you overstrain yourself, you may never get up on your own again.

And because you thought they'd never love you, now you regret your mistakes.

You can't stop them from loving each other.

Especially since they love you just as much.

You put your hands on your face to hide your tears.

And at that moment, Satoru entered the clothes room.

"(y/n)? What happened?" he asked, panicking a bit.

He walked over to you, stroking your head.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to make you sad!" He said seeing your shoulders tremble.

He sat next to you, leaning in to hug you.

"Sorry."

Your hands shot out to hug him.

"I'm the one who's sorry... I don't want to live like I have to..." You moaned, pressing your face into his neck.

"We can't turn back time. If we could, we would. For us, the most important thing is that you are with us. Whole and safe. And that we know you'll live. Without the threat of losing you forever..." he said softly. "You want to go outside?"

"I can't feel my legs..." you muttered.

"I'll carry you. To get some air."

As he said this, his hands gently grabbed the needle that was stuck in your vein and pulled it out, turning off the drip.

He pulled you out from under the covers and put shoes on your feet. And also a jacket.

You didn't know if it was hot or cold outside.

But you know for sure it's not winter.

You guess...

He lifted you up gently, being careful not to put pressure on your back.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him as he pulled the hood over your head.

You felt like you were a child and he was making sure you didn't catch a cold.

Was it that cold?

He also put on his thin jacket. However, he walked in it all the time. It was his sorcerer's uniform.

You sat on his forearm as he held you with both hands.

And when he came down the stairs with you, he opened the door to show you that the garden was covered with a cold white fluff.

Why was there snow here?

How long have you been in a coma? How long have you been home?

"I'm kind of happy to finally be able to take you outside, but I'm also worried." He said with a small smile. "Tell me if you feel cold."

"...Is it winter already?" You asked quietly.

"You know... It's been half a year..." he said with a very slight smile.

You widened your eyes.

"We've been waiting half a year for you to regain your strength. And also for you to finally smile at us."

He looked at you with a gentle smile.

Half a year?

How has half a year gone by?

Have you really lost track of time?

You were barely conscious for a while when you woke up. That's all you remember. But so much time has passed.

"But at least you're smiling at us now." He said happily.

He stared at his face.

So happy, but sad at the same time.

You leaned in and kissed his cheek before resting your head on his shoulder.

"What?" He asked.

"what?" you giggled as you cuddled up to him.

"If you wanted a kiss, you could have said."

You lifted your head and he placed his lips on yours.

So that later you can lay your head on his shoulder again.

"You're not too cold?"

"No... I want to stay a while longer..."

"Suguru will be back soon. Probably in a while." he put his jaw on your head, giving you some warmth.

You hid your hands in the sleeves of your jacket.

His hands were so warm on your body...

"Shall we wait for him?"

"Will you last that long?"

"Will you give me a bath later?"

"Yeah."

For 10 minutes he walked with you in the snow-covered garden so as not to stand still.

It wasn't snowing, so you could be outside.

Plus, you were lying on top of him, his warmth giving you some warmth.

You were silted up.

You reacted to everything with a short delay.

Even when Suguru came back and approached you.

You saw them kissing to say hello.

You wanted too...

And then you waited.

Suguru's lips were placed gently on yours.

"Good morning Baby. I'm back." He said placing his forehead against yours.

You smiled slightly at him.

"Let's go back home. She's a little cold." He said placing his hand on your cheek while your nose was slightly red.

"Can you take her? I promised her a bath." Satoru said once you were inside.

Satoru's hands were replaced by Suguru's as he sat down in the chair, taking off your shoes and his with one hand as you sat hugging him.

Not once did he put his foot on the floor.

You took off your jacket with his help.

And then he went with you to the bathroom. You saw that the large bathtub was full of hot water, the water was tinted slightly pink with bubbles.

"What do you think?" White Haired man asked, reaching over to start taking off your clothes.

As he reached for your shirt, you clenched your hands around Suguru blushing.

They laughed at your reaction.

"Honey, we've been dressing and washing you for almost six months. We've seen you naked many times already." Geto said, whispering in your ear.

You put your head deeper into his shoulder.

Giggling quietly, they slowly undressed you.

Then, when you were naked, you landed in Satoru's arms, and you curled up with a red face.

As you looked back at Suguru, you quickly turned around when you saw that he was just standing there naked.

You heard the splash of water.

And then Satoru moved your body, and before you could do anything, he handed you over to Suguru sitting in the tub. It's like you weigh nothing.

You held onto his arms tightly as you feared you would fall.

But to put you gently in the tub, he sat on the edge, and he didn't hold you with his hands alone.

That's why you didn't fall out on him.

But Geto's hands took you over.

And you were gently placed in the warm water between his legs.

You wanted to pull away because when you were close to him you could feel something touching your back. And you knew what it was...

But he wrapped his arms around your waist, resting you against his broad chest as the water came up to your shoulders.

Gojo next to him was undressing. That's why you turned around again. And then you couldn't because the water rose as he stepped inside the tub.

His knees came up as he sat in front of you.

Suguru's legs were slightly bent, underwater.

Satoru's legs over Suguru's legs.

And your legs were placed on Satoru's thighs for you to lie down.

While they wash your body gently using the foam that was in the water.

"You look lovely." Satoru said.

You thought he was talking to Suguru, but he was looking in your direction.

Maybe it's because you blush all the time?

Yes. This is definitely it...

"You have a lovely face. You don't have to be ashamed of us." He said as he stretched your one leg out of the water and washed your thigh with foam.

And Suguru was moving his arms around your sides.

"She looks like she's about to fall asleep, Sugu."

"She's practically falling asleep on top of me already." Suguru chuckled softly, feeling you lean against his body, lying motionless on top of him.

Your eyes were slightly closed as their hands moved pleasantly over your skin.

Satoru pecked your lips suddenly.

"Good night honey. We love you."

"I love you..." you mumbled in your sleep, making them smile.

[call-sign-shark]

Shark in the UK 🦈

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Hi everyone,

As you might have noticed I was pretty silent since my arrival in the UK. I must admit that I have been through a lot of stress and changes in a very short amount of time and it's only now that I'm finally getting used to this new situation. Below you'll find a detailed post of my adventures so far, so if you are not interested you can simply ignore this and just keep in mind that I'll be returning to my posting schedule and fan-fictions very soon. For those who are curious, fasten your motherfucking seat-belts.

While I'm not an organized person I become one when I have something important planned so I was so well prepared for this journey that I was convinced I was safe from any misadventures... How wrong I was. I was barely done with the security controls at the airport when I realized they literally broke my phone's screen. I don't know if they bumped it or not but they broke it. The same phone in which I had my boarding pass. It obviously happened the only time I didn't print my plane tickets as I usually do. :) Fortunately, my best friend had lent me his old iPhone minutes before "just in case". I managed to airdrop my boarding pass on the second phone and took the plane without trouble despite the flight being delayed by one hour.

Upon my arrival in UK, I took a taxi to the hotel and had a nice time alone. I brought myself to the restaurant and peacefully slept, getting psychologically ready to meet my host family, and oh boy. This is... Something.

When I heard the word "host family" I imagined it to be an actual family, and a bit like when you're an au pair. Retrospectively, it's completely stupid because it was never written but idk my mind went full "ok I'll live with a local family". What a surprise it was when I knocked at the door and was welcomed by one lonely man and the very acrid smell of cigarettes that jumped at my face! While my host dad (@rysko @red-riding-wood @kittenonpluto pimp nickname they said) was extremely nice and welcoming, the more he showed me around the more my face dropped. I wasn't going to spend months in a local family but in an old house more or less laid out like a hostel. A hostel with a strong cigarette smell almost everywhere, five other girls, one dude, and dirt. The differences between my expectations and reality were huge and, as you can imagine, the pill was difficult to swallow. I swear when he opened the door I was this close to run away lmao.

Between my accommodations and the new rhythm of the international school I'm studying in, my mind went completely foggy for a few days. I didn't know what to think or what to feel anymore. Worse, I didn't know if my money was well-spent or if I just got scammed. Now, read what follows before you call me "ungrateful" or "princess-like".

It’s not what I got that made me feel bad, but rather the stupid and nonsensical expectations I had in mind. Then, I slowly realized that it wasn't because I hadn't expected it and that it couldn't be fun. Maybe it had a lot to do with how nice the five other girls and the people at my school are, but I started // I am starting to really enjoy it. The house might be old and not "that clean" (or at least not as clean as I'm used to), but the host dad is lovely, cooks for us every day, we have fast wifi, are close to the school, we have a key and are free to come and go as much as we want without a curfew, and the bedrooms, as well as the toilets, are clean. To be honest, some students have it really worse. I mean, I'm talking about students having to sleep in a room crowded with 7 people, or having to sleep on a mattress on the ground, the host family asking them to buy and cook their own food to the extent of some even locked the kitchen's door at night to avoid the student snacking/stealing food at night. Or students who are on 1 hour of bus-trip long from the school — those conditions I find absolutely disgusting for the extremely expensive price the students have to pay for this language exchange. With everything said, I consider myself lucky despite the cigarette smell and the "clean but not really clean" house.

As I'm writing this, it's Saturday 10 am and I can finally say it: I'm happy to be here, it's a one-life experience and I'm incredibly lucky my parents offered it to me. Unfortunately, I've caught a very bad cold and I've been sick since Wednesday: I think the combination of my emotional rollercoaster, the crazy British weather, my fatigue and half of my classroom being sick have finished me off. Now I can't wait to get better to start attending to a shitton of activities, planning trips around, and going to the pub. Also, I've got my nails done! Look at my freakin' sharp claws teehee.

Congratulations if you're still there by the way, lmao! Thank you for reading my nonsense. I'll be back very soon, both for writing and commenting, just wait for my cold to get better!

Love,

Shark.

tagging some moots: @zablife @brummiereader @emotionalcadaver @justrainandcoffee @peakyswritings @peakyltd

[shhtickerbook]

Iced Chocolate

chapter four

very quick messy sketch heh. chapter 4 is up under the cut and AO3 c:

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

Noodle had been up at dawn as usual. Unlike the other staff of the washhouse who got to have an extra hour of rest before beginning a shift, she had to be up just before sunrise to start deliveries of the previous day’s laundry. Whilst they had been able to slip away unnoticed during the day, Noodle still had to upkeep her morning deliveries regardless. Unless they somehow managed to train Tiddles to go out make deliveries himself.

After drudging through the show with the now empty cart, she tiredly dragged it behind her and through the doors into the washhouse. Noodle was surprised to see only Larry and Lottie at work, her other three friends visibly missing. Lottie smiled kindly at her arrival, holding up a steaming mug.

“Noodle! I made your usual for you.”

She presented the mug, which was filled with a hot malt drink, perfect for coming back in from the cold. Lottie always made her a fresh cup of something hot when she returned from deliveries. Noodle warmed her hands against the mug before taking a deep swig. The girl surveyed the room again, frowning.

“Where is everybody? And how’s Willy-?”

She’d been fretting all night about him, still unable to believe just how stupid he was in the first place to walk across thin ice. Even with the assurance from Abacus the night before, she couldn’t help but worry. Lottie laid a hand on the girls shoulder reassuringly, interrupting her spiral.

“Abacus and Piper are upstairs with him, now don’t panic. But Mr Wonka is a bit poorly, the icy water must’ve shot his immune system pretty hard. He had quite a high fever.”

Lottie explained, sitting down to rest her arm over Noodle. Who seemed more concerned for her friend, draining the rest of the mug quickly before rising up. The idea of someone such as Willy Wonka being sick just seemed completely outrageous, he was just the kind of person you couldn’t imagine being frail and unwell.

“I’m gonna go see him-“

Larry looked over at Lottie, who had forgotten one important detail about the chocolatiers current state of mind. The telephonist catching up to the girl before she raced up the stairs. Noodle had been made aware of Willys headspace situation beforehand, but only really once briefly. At first she hadn’t exactly understood it, finding it a rather strange. But after a long talk with Abacus, he managed to wrap her head around the whole situation.

“Noodle wait- before you head up. Willy is feeling a little younger than usual. Yknow like how we explained?”

Noodle paused for a moment upon hearing it, but then shrugged her shoulders. Noodle hadn���t been with Willy that often when he was “small” as they said. But from the sounds of things, he was probably feeling pretty sick right now and likely needed the support.

“That’s Okay, don’t worry”

She smiled before turning on heel to ascend the staircase. Determined to check on her closest friend and brother figure.

-

With the help from Piper yet again, Willy had been successfully delivered back up to his room. The bed had been completely stripped of its soiled sheets and replaced with fresh white linen. Poking its head from underneath the sheet, sat the orange knitted beak of Chester. Willy quickly picking him up to hold close, his glass eyes pressing an imprint onto his cheek.

Although the bath certainly made him feel fresher, his head still felt as if it was stuffed with cotton wool. Standing up just made him feel woozy. When climbing back into the bed, he noticed that a towel had been tucked over the mattress tactfully. At first feeling mortified at what it’s presence clearly implied, but realistically it was probably for the best. The combination of the cool silk pyjamas and clean sheets felt heavenly when he lay back down, Abacus folding the blanket over him once settled.

“There we go lad, much more comfortable i’d say”

Willy dozily nodded, realising he was feeling much smaller now that he was tucked in. Outside the weather had become even fiercer, the blizzard building stronger. The thin glass pane of his window rattling from the wind, Abacus sighing at the poor stability of everything in this terrible excuse for accommodation. Maybe Wonka’s mad ideas of his dream store could truly happen, get them all out of this dreaded place.

Willy smacked his lips for a moment, realising how thirsty he felt. His sore throat still left that foul taste in his mouth, and he was eager to get rid of it. Although in the time it had taken for him to be delivered back up into the room, his headspace had slipped even smaller. The words he wanted to say were there, but it felt as if they were far away, too distant to try and verbalise them.

So instead he weakly pointed towards the sink in his room, grunting a little bit to get attention.

“Hm? What’s the matter?”

Abacus queried, watching in mild amusement as the boy pointed towards the basin. Willy making a grabbing motion with his hands, miming holding something. Thankfully Abacus quickly connected the dots of his request.

“Oh you’re thirsty, of course”

The man got up to fill up a glass, before offering it to the boy. Yet again similarly to the night before, Willys hold on the glass was shaky as best. Willy held it in both hands as he took a sip, but with his quivering grasp the water spilled down the sides and onto his chest. The cold water feeling very uncomfortable as he very nearly dropped it all over himself.

“Oh dear, allow me”

So once more Abacus reached out to hold the cup in place, whilst Willy eagerly gulped down the liquid. Although it didn’t taste very good, as it had quite a strong metallic aftertaste to it. The accountant couldn’t help but chuckle at his expression as he drained the glass.

“I think we’re going to have to consider some alternatives to this lad, certainly a bit too wobbly for a glass just yet”

He spoke fondly, Willy feeling a little embarrassed. He wasn’t wrong though, all his motor functions seemed to be playing against him at the moment. So he just shrugged with a mumble, lying back into the bed once satisfied. Abacus gently laid a hand to his forehead to check his temperature, which was still pretty warm. Wonka certainly seemed very quiet, Abacus noticing how he was choosing to gesture and mumble rather than speak. As he was the person whom Willy was most often regressed around, Abacus had taken many a mental note on his different mannerisms depending on just how little he was feeling.

The combination of illness seemed to slip him even younger it seemed, as this was the first time he’d gone so nonverbal.

“Still a little hot, I may nip down into town and pick up some medicine if it doesn’t come down soon.”

Willy frowned at the idea, highly doubting the idea that this medicine would taste very good. A knock then arrived at the door, Willy lifting his head up from the pillow in interest, before thumping it back down in exhaustion.

“Hey it’s just me, can I come in?”

It was Noodle, her voice sounding kind but concerned. She’s bumped into Piper on the way up, who had filled her in on how crappy he was feeling right now. On the other side of the door, Abacus turned to Willy to check on him.

“Is that alright?”

Willy thought for a moment, he knew that Noodle was aware of his headspace now. But there still was that mild anxiety, Noodle was like his little sister. He kept her safe, looked out for her. He wasn’t sure if it was okay for that role to swap over, especially when she relied on him.

But after a long conversation with Abacus and himself, she assured him that it was okay. She wanted to be there for him. So Willy gave Abacus the nod, who called out to her.

“Come on in Noodle.”

The door creaked open and Noodle stepped inside, smiling fondly when seeing Willy tucked inside the bed. It was funny how his tall lanky frame managed to look so tiny in that bed. Willy tried to sit up straight in bed, although it made his head throb again. He tucked his stuffed toucan under the sheet self consciously, poor Chester giving a silent imaginary squawk of indignity.

Even though he felt dreadfully small, there was still that anxious part of him that wanted to seem big for Noodles sake. The girl in question just scoffed at his weak attempt to seem fine when it was extremely evident he wasn’t, perching on the end of his bed with a grin.

“Willy, you don’t need to pretend. I know you’re a baby right now”

Even Abacus couldn’t hold back a chuckle at the blunt comment, before attempting to cover it up with a very fake sounding cough. Willy looked up in complete outrage, scowling at them both rather adorably.

“Nuh a baby..”

He mumbled, still struggling with his words. But Noodles comment had pulled him from his silence, who just laughed in response. Finding his face truly priceless.

“Really? Coulda fooled me.”

Willy frowned at her teasing before giving her a small smile, it was relieving that she still treated him like usual. One thing he was worried about with Noodle knowing, was if it changed the way she saw him, treated him awkwardly or acted unnaturally. But it was clear she was still the same old snarky teenager he loved.

Abacus decided to take the opportunity to get up, deciding to allow the two some quality time whilst he attempted to sneak into town to pick up some things. Not before gently stroking back Willys damp curls tenderly.

“I best head out and pick you up some medicine young man, but I trust Noodle to keep you in check. I don’t suppose that Benz may come check up soon too.”

Willy nodded, only feeling a little apprehensive. Abacus had been caring for him all morning and him leaving did make him feel a little anxious. But when Noodle reached out and squeezed his hand, he couldn’t feel any safer.

“I’m usually the one keeping him out of trouble regardless Abacus, if it weren’t for me he’d be inside a tigers belly right now- or frozen in the bottom of that lake”

She pointed out knowingly, eyebrow raised cheekily, Wonkas cheeks burning scarlet. Nearly got eaten by a tiger actually. The accountant closed the door gently behind him as he left, knowing that Noodle would keep a good eye on him. Noodle scooted further up the bed, lifting a hand to feel his forehead. Abacus wasn’t wrong, he certainly had a temperature.

“You’re such an idiot y’know, you’re lucky you got away with just a bad fever. If you weren’t careful you could’ve added to the number of skeletons at the bottom of that lake.”

She wriggled her fingers in a spooky way, Willys eyes widening in alarm. Noodle having momentarily forgotten that he was feeling younger than usual. Probably not the best time to make jokes in that manner, backtracking her statement.

“Hey but uh- you’re okay! I was just joking about the skeletons- I think. You’re just lucky you had your sis Noodle looking after ya, as always.”

The word slipped from her mouth without realising, although the pair shared an obvious sibling-like connection with eachother. Neither of them had verbalised it yet, until of course that very moment. Noodle felt her cheeks burning, panicking incase she’d overstepped. Yet Willys eyes shone like stars at the sentence, weakly reaching out to hold her hand with a small grin.

“Sister…”

He mumbled , squeezing her hand in his. Noodle met his eyes and smiled too, there was something different about him like this. Even through his obvious illness, his eyes sparkled with a childlike optimism, innocence. For the first time she really understood and saw the younger headspace he was in.

“Yeah, but more like big sister i think at the moment. Figures though, how many times have I saved your butt now?”

She chuckled, wondering what on earth would’ve happened to the poor chocolatier if she hadn’t met him. She noticed how his eyelids were beginning to flutter, the boy yawning as he rubbed his eyes sleepily. He’d only been awake a few hours but was somehow just as exhausted as when he spent all day out in town selling chocolate.

“You need some sleep.”

She firmly stated, Willy feeling too weak to argue on the matter. Noodle pulled the blanket further up his frame, finding the small knitted Toucan sprawled out and tangled in the mattress.

“Cant forget this lil guy.”

She manipulated his floppy wings up and down to mimic flight as she handed him over. Willy accepting the little bird and tucking him under his chin like always did, breathing in his faint cocoa scent. As noodle lifted the blanket to tuck it over his shoulder, he turned over before she could fold it, holding it open.

“Stay?”

He looked up with the most manipulative puppy dog eyes, mot wanting to be alone right now. Especially with how little he was feeling. Noodle chuffed in amusement, biting her lip as she considered it. She’d been up since dawn and was in-fact feeling pretty beat herself.

In defeat with a shrug and a chuckle, she began to unlace her boots. Willy managing one of his signature grins, soon enough he felt Noodle join him under the sheets in the small single bed. But somehow they managed to fit inside comfortably, Noodle linking her free hand with his once tucked underneath the sheets. Both holding onto eachother for warmth in the chilly room.

Cuddled up beside her brother, Noodle couldn’t quite remember the last time she felt so safe, as did Willy. Both pseudosiblings embracing close before they soon both fell fast asleep in each other’s hold.

[gentil-minou]

once upon a time, 很久很久以前

Once upon a time, there lived a magical boy who was lost far, far away from home… Wei Wuxian is perfectly ready to celebrate another mediocre birthday alone when a ten-year-old shows up on his doorstep claiming to be his son. This kid is convinced everyone in his town has been dragged away from their xianxia world and cursed to live as ordinary citizens in a mundane small town, and he's certain that Wei Wuxian is the key to saving them, his other dad, and their entire world. He sounds insane, but, well, Wei Wuxian likes him. Besides, what else can he do but follow him back home? (A Wangxian AU based on the show Once Upon a Time, no prior knowledge of said show necessary)

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Transmigration, of the townwide variety, Amnesia, of the nearly everyone variety, Mystery, of the shenanigans variety, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn Has Self-Esteem Issues, wwx is sad and down bad, Single Parent Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, except a-yuan runs away to find his other dad, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Minor Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending

Wangxian + A-Yuan + Minor Characters | WIP 4/? | 52K | Rated M

Preview under the cut

Once upon a time, there was a boy who believed he loved the world more than it could ever love him.

He would be proven very wrong.

~

Everyone loves the birthday boy.

They especially love him several shots in on Halloween night, wearing an outfit that’s little more than a couple scraps of fabric hastily sewn together in some approximation of a “Sexy Whatever”. Privately, Wei Wuxian calls it Dealer’s Choice, letting whoever he’s currently flirting with decide what it is.

It doesn’t matter; that’s never been the point of the night. Sure a birthday is meant to be spent celebrating, but that’s a bit harder to do when he doesn’t have anyone to celebrate with. It would be fine, as long as he could have as many free drinks as he could score and at least a passably decent fuck, he’d consider it a good night.

Really, when it comes down to it, it’s just another day. Halloween, yes, which makes it a moderately better one. But beyond that bit of fun that comes with picking up a pretty stranger at a bar, there really isn’t much else to look forward to. This is how Wei Wuxian expects to celebrate his birthday:

He’d saunter into how ever many establishments it takes until he finds a pretty enough stranger he can stand being around. The pretty stranger would look him up and down, dragging their eyes over his toned long legs and resting far too long at the slope between his narrow waist and wide hips. And for that one moment, he’d be the most important boy in the world.

He’d get a few free cheap drinks and eventually, they’d find their way to some back alley with its familiar stench of overripe garbage and piss. He’d let himself be pressed up against the brick wall, rough against his back; the perfect distraction from everything else. Then the pretty stranger would stick their tongue far enough down his throat so that he could pretend this day is just like any other.  

In between sloppy kisses and sub-par groping attempts, they’d get his name wrong while he’d have already forgotten theirs. They’d mutter a “Happy Halloween, Birthday Boy” like so many one-night stands before them, and he’d giggle and laugh like it’s the very first time. It’s never difficult to plaster a patented smile and play pretend. Then he’d drop to his knees and let the world fall away.

Finally, after however many drinks and strangers it would take to make him forget, he’d stumble back to his basement studio with just enough awareness to take off his shoes before passing out on his secondhand stained mattress. His dreams would be fast and incomprehensible, a mosaic of imaginary maybes and a dream of a life he’d never had.

This is how he’s celebrated the last several years, and it’s how he expects to celebrate this year as well. 

Because it’s not just Halloween and it’s not just his birthday. It’s the anniversary of his parents leaving their son behind in a dingy alley, wedged between a dumpster and a pile of soggy cardboard. Not even the barest hint of an afterthought, like maybe we shouldn’t leave this small defenseless child asleep and at the mercy of sewer rats?

But if the liquor is strong enough and the haze is just right he wouldn’t remember that until the next morning. That’s what the night is really for. Not a celebration or anything like that, but a desperate attempt at some peace away from this life of his.

Tonight will be his twenty-fifth birthday, and it might as well not be at all.

And then it will end, and November 1st will come around, and the world will keep turning like it always does.

But somehow, not one of those things goes according to plan. In fact, the universe has a completely different plan for him this year, it seems. 

Read more on Ao3

[spnfanficpond]

January 2024 Angel Fish Awards

(Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words. (Click here to learn more about how to nominate a fic for an award!)

Nominated by @heavenssexiestangel

The Unconventional Meet-Cute by @schizonephilim

I wanted to read something different from my usual go-to, and I had this story in my To Be Read 'pile' for a while, so I read chapter 1! I can't wait to read chapter 2. It's really well-written and the sexy times are awesome.

~*~*~

Nominated by @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes

Full of Grace by ilovehowyouletmefall (AO3)

I love this fic. I have read this thing so many times. I love the intimacy and how they develop organically. How Cas just takes why Dean gives and it’s how it should be in my head. It’s sweet and fluffy. I wish Dean would stop calling Cas “pal” as if he’s fucking Mickey Mouse and Pluto but it’s amazing. I return to it a lot. It’s a comforting story that deals with mental health and I’m glad it’s set in heaven.

Cuddle Deprivation by @destielshipper4cas

This is sooo good. It’s an incubus that feeds off affection and emotions through touch. It is so good. So fluff, Castiel and Dean confused about the different cultures, which I think is a great element because it's a common problem with relationships from people of different countries or even skin color at times. Must read.

Cuddlibus by @destielshipper4cas

It’s an incubus that feeds off affection and emotions through touch. It is so good. So fluff, Castiel and Dean confused about the different cultures, which I think is a great element because it's a common problem with relationships from people of different countries or even skin color at times.

Heartstring Promenade by @winchester-reload

This is the ending to the series I wanted.

Destiel's 1st Time by @chaoticmotherofall

Holy shit. Wow, primal. Rawr. Must read smut. I think it’s the scene most of the fandom would want to see if they could. Sorry, not sorry.

Dean's Delights by Redamber79 (AO3)

Destiel. Baker Dean. Can smell each other through blockers. Insecure Cas. Love it! He just wants to eat Dean up and kind of does! True mates are delicious, don’t ya think?

The Company by CasCase (AO3)

You’re gonna get intimidated by the language of ballet vocab but don’t worry, it isn’t important. It’s such an amazing love story and so well written. Wow. There is even artwork of the seriously important emotional scenes that just make it so much better. Omg! I wish this was a fucking movie because it’d be gorgeous!

Room for Two (The Mattress AU) by @almassi

Schmoopy fluffiness. I love it! I also love that Cas actually gets everything but doesn’t show it. Lol. He got the references.

truly there's nobody for you but me by Abi_in_the_Cosmos (AO3)

Omfg, hotness. Cas so teasing Dean. The shorts are used. The shorts in the BTS on the show of Jensen wearing denim short shorts, which of course Dean says they exist for an in-story reason. I don’t care. It’s great.

this heart and flesh shall fail by ValandraWrites (AO3)

Monsterfucker story, technically. Great story. Dean is not technically underaged despite what it says. Twist ending. Beautiful story with a sexy but sad twist.

The Biological Ways by @sitruunavohveli

Three words: Accidental office romance Destiel! A/b/o! Love it. Love that it’s Charlie too. Yay! I also am a huge fan of this author’s works. I’ve had the pleasure of working with them and they’re just amazing to work with. Please check them out.

Weighted by amireal, tiamatv (AO3)

I absolutely love this fic because I actually sleep with a weighted blanket and when my kids are sick, they love their own. I even have one in the car. It’s light but enough to feel it. This is just so fluffy and romantic all thanks to our favorite redhead introducing weighted blankets which helps so much. It’s been shown to even help babies but blankets aren’t great for them. Anyway, they’re so cute and that scene where Dean opens his eyes all slow and gentle with “hey”, just broke me. My husband and I do that periodically and it just means more snuggles and sleep. lol. Poor Castiel thinking he couldn’t have Dean which I understand since Dean has said so much he is straight or implied it rather often. Ugh. This was done so well. Thank you both!

~*~*~

Nominated by @deeranger

When There's Only You by AnOddSock (AO3)

It's such a visceral and extremely well-written story, dark and full of intense angst but at the same time it highlights that profound tenderness and affection between Sam and Dean. The whole "there is no me if there is no you". I was on the edge of my seat all the way through, my heart breaking for the brothers in such a delightful way. This fic is a great rollercoaster ride, like a dark porn with a substantial amount of well-thought-out plot. Heed the tags though... Your feels might not come out intact.

~*~*~

Nominated by @spnexploration

She Thought She Was Normal (series) by @aylacavebear

This is @Aylacavebear's first fic she's putting out into the wild and it's going to be a long multi-chapter journey. What a way to start! This first chapter takes us to poor Maria as a child, who has just lost her mother to a yellow-eyed demon, and Bobby sets her and her Dad up with Sam and Dean. Can't wait to see the whole journey!

Cuddle Deprivation by @destielshipper4cas

This was adorable!! The whole concept of cuddlibus was so cute and I loved when both Dean and Cas were trying to get more out of the relationship but thinking the other didn't want it. And including Sam's cuddlibus daughter was also adorable

Power Grows out of the Barrel of a Gun by Alaisabel (AO3)

I absolutely loved this AU. There are so many twists and turns and I had such a fun time working out what was going on. Dean is so anti-authority and he ends up in a relationship with Cas, a cop.

~*~*~

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis

Fluffy Faerie Tales (series) by @ladylilithprime

This universe and the characters in it are so fascinating! Sam and Dean are half-fae, and Jimmy and Cas have a backstory that is wildly different than anything else I've ever read! (No spoilers!) Sam/Cas/Jimmy is a threesome I've never read before, I don't think, and I'm loving it. So far, all of these stories are filled with plenty of fluff, and the perfect way to end my day. Sweet dreams of faeries and friends are always welcome!

Cuddle Deprivation and Cuddlibus by @destielshipper4cas

I am now OBSESSED with the idea of cuddlibi!!! Like those who have nominated this story above, I find this idea adorable and sweet. And Cas is just SO SWEET! And there's so much delicious pining in both of these stories!! I now want to read ALL the cuddlibus stories!!

THANK YOU ALL, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

- From your Admins and Manta Rays, @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, @spencereliotwinchester, and @heavenssexiestangel!