#other than the label you get based on your music which is fun i guess | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 3 years

Text

So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It's the fanciest thing I've bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it's medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is based solely on my experiences as a patient, and on what I have read and been told by professionals. Please notify me if you have corrections or concerns about accuracy!

BACKGROUND: Sensitivity to sound is a common type of sensory issue. While anyone can experience such issues (most people, for example, might be bothered by loud music in a crowded restaurant), some people are more sensitive than others, to the point it becomes a quality-of-life aka a medical issue.

If you consistently struggle with environmental stimuli that other people aren’t bothered by (background noises, bright lights, certain textures and tastes, etc), to the point it causes daily discomfort or limits the environments you can be in, I recommend reading about Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD and sound sensitivity are both super common in autistic folks (like me!), but allistic (non-autistic) people can experience them too. Weep, ye prisoners of mortal coil, for none are safe, nothing sacred, not in this thy most accursed tomb of human flesh!

Anyway.

SOUND SENSITIVITY or HYPERACUSIS: Noise issues are particularly difficult to navigate in a world that is increasingly...noisy. The relatively new phenomenon of constant overhead music in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls etc—all of this means that public spaces are increasingly inaccessible to people with auditory issues.*

As a kid, nothing quite triggered sensory overload/meltdowns for me like the constant exposure to noise I couldn’t control—the background chatter of other kids in the lunchroom, the constant noise in public spaces, being trapped in the car with the radio on.... I had so many fights with my siblings about the car radio, and who got to choose the music.**

But it’s not just loud sounds that are the problem. As an adult who lives alone and works from home***, I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid loud environments most of the time. This does wonders for my general levels of anxiety and discomfort. But even in a mostly controlled environment, I still experience problems. Because part of sound sensitivity is that even normal or quiet sounds can feel loud and intrusive. Here are some “normal” sounds that can cause me discomfort (ranging from annoyance to outright pain, depending on the day):

refrigerator/AC/ceiling lights humming

dishwasher/washing machine noises

ceiling fan making that damn ceiling fan noise

faint sounds of traffic

riding in a car

other people having a normal conversation in the background

someone talking to me in a perfectly normal inside voice

Unfortunately, even in a “controlled” environment, many triggering noises can’t be controlled. And many parts of life can’t be lived in a controlled environment. This presents...some incredibly freaking annoying problems. Luckily there are solutions!

Sorta.

There are sorta some solutions.

They are imperfect, but they help.

TREATMENT: And now I have something rather shame-faced to admit. In all the years of managing my symptoms, it never once occurred to me to see a hearing specialist for my issues with sound. I wasn’t even aware that treatment options exist, because none of my other doctors mentioned it. Instead, I’ve spent years finding my own coping mechanisms and tools, with help from therapists and psychiatrists, but without ever consulting an audiologist/ENT. It was only while researching this post that I found out that was even an option, holy shit.

So it turns out I am going to be making an appointment with my local ENT practice. shit.

Apparently treatment options include sound/acoustic therapy, systematic desensitization/exposure therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, sound machines, and other options that I had no idea even existed, goddammit.

MANAGEMENT: In the meantime, here are my current coping mechanisms. I’ve relied rather heavily on hearing protection, which is very useful when used in moderation. Unfortunately, it can cause its own problems: it’s important not to overuse hearing protection, because in the long-term this can increase your sensitivity. So again: a useful tool, but be careful not to overdo it.

With that in mind, here are some of the coping strategies I’ve used over the last decade to manage my symptoms. This is not a perfect system and you should contact your local ENT clinic for better, long-term solutions, but in the meantime here are some tips I use to just get myself through the damn day:

Regularly spending time in a quiet controlled environment, to allow my nervous system to decompress.

Wearing earplugs, (I use two different grade, depending on the level of noise prevention I need), and always carrying an extra pair in case I need them unexpectedly. I bought a 50 pack for $7 and put spares in all my bags and jacket pockets.

(I mostly use Mack’s Ultra Soft, but there are so many types and materials and brands, including foam, silicone, wax, custom moldable etc. Even if you have trouble wearing things in your ears, you might be able to find something comfortable.)

Similarly: hearing protection earmuffs, the kind used in gun ranges and on construction sites. I bought mine online for $10. they look like normal wireless headphones, so I've never gotten comments when wearing mine in public (other than “cool heaphones” bc i added skull glitter stickers).

Sometimes I wear the earmuffs on top of earplugs, when life is just too damn LOUD.

Listening to music w/ earbuds or headphones is a great way to balance out background noises, especially if you can find soothing playlists that help you concentrate. Also useful to put in just one earbud when you need to pay attention in class/at work.

Pro tip: if your hair is long enough you can wear wireless earbuds without anyone knowing.

White noise, rain noises, ocean noises etc can be helpful! Some people like whale songs although personally this activates my primal fear response

Active noise cancelling headphones: the reason I wrote this post to begin with—I finally bought a pair! As in, a really good pair! As in, a depressingly expensive pair with noise cancelling technology that actually WORKS, holy shit. I probably need to wear them a little less at home (bc overprotection causes problems in the longterm) but they have absolutely transformed my ability to go out in public and i never ever want to take these suckers off again please take a power screwdriver and nail these to my head, bury me in the sweet sweet shroud of silence. holy canoli and cream puffs I want to marry form a civil partnership with these headphones. Plus they have a bunch of features, like being able to control the level of noise cancellation, so I can hold a conversation or be aware of some ambient noise for safety reasons.

Oh, and also they play music I guess?

Sorry sorry I promise this post wasn’t supposed to be me shilling for Big Electronics. I’m just excited, I’m an excited flabby little ball of expired flubber. ANC headphones aren’t a perfect solution, and I still sometimes wear earplugs underneath, and I will always be uncomfortable some of the time, but for me it’s been a big step.

Unfortunately the cost of good quality ANC technology means this isn’t an option for everyone, and the (much cheaper) gunshot protection earmuffs I mentioned earlier still provide an impressive amount of protection and bang-for-your buck (maybe even an equal amount of protection, if you can find ones that fit well). But if noise consistently prevents you from enjoying public space and life in general, and you’ve already tried earmuffs & earplugs and find they don’t offer enough comfort/convenience/protection, and if you’re in a position to save up for a one time non-necessity purchase of $150+, noise cancelling headphones are an option to be aware of. (Please always check the return policy so you can try before you buy. I ended up buying and returning 2 pairs before finding what worked best for me. And please look for a retailer that offers an extended warranty. You want those motherforkers to last).

There are cheaper options available, including some under $50. The ones I tried didn't work as well as my hearing protection earmuffs, but some people report good experiences, so that is something to consider. it's always good to know your options! Passive noise canceling is another affordable alternative.

Medication: A final tool in my toolbox, which for me personally has helped as much as every other method combined. Like, a lot, it’s helped a lot. It turns out some anti-anxiety medications can also help sensory issues. There’s not much research on this, and I only discovered it firsthand when a medication my doctor prescribed for anxiety ended up significantly helping my sensory issues. I no longer need medication for anxiety, but my psychiatrist still prescribes that same medication off-label for my sensory stuff. Ask your psychiatrist to research your options (they will probably have to do some digging to find relevant research, but you deserve to know all your options, even the obscure ones). Fyi, the medication I use is in the benzodiazepines class, but there are other options for those concerned about dependency or side effects.

(I'm also told anti-anxiety supplements may be helpful, though I haven't tried this yet. If you're on prescription meds, always talk to your doctor about contraindications before taking anything over-the-counter.)

So there you have it, my main coping strategies for sound sensitivity! They are not a replacement for medical treatment (except that last one which is in fact...medical treatment), but I find them helpful and I hope some of you will too! I’ve struggled for a long time, and I’m very pleased to have reached the point where I can just do things in public. Eating out in loud restaurants? I can do that now, and even enjoy it, holy shit! I can comfortably travel in cars for hours at a time, and walk around shopping malls and grocery stores with overhead music, and, and —and just exist. It is so so freeing, to feel like maybe, after everything, you are actually allowed to just exist in a world that wasn’t really designed for you.

Again, be careful not to overuse hearing protection—the goal is to allow you to be less uncomfortable and to function better, but if you find you are becoming more sensitive to noise, it is time to dial it back a notch. Or maybe consider listening to music (at a reasonable volume) to block out background noise instead.

*(This also includes people with hearing loss and related issues, btw. While that’s not my area of knowledge, I would welcome it if any of my HoH followers want to share their experiences.)

**A sign of sensory issues that parents often miss is when a child complains about music being too loud—but has no problem listening to their own music at high volume. This is because music that is already familiar to the listener (and that the listener enjoys) is much easier for the brain to process, since it knows what pattern of sounds to expect. Loud music that they get to control can be soothing for people with sound issues, especially when it blocks out background noise and sensations. This is why repetitively playing the same songs can be a helpful form of stimming.

***(working on this blog, actually. since it’s my only source of income, my 2020 income tax return literally lists my occupation as ‘Tumblr Blogger.’ Oddly, my parent didn’t feel this achievement was worth including in the holiday family newsletter.)

bonus fun fact: Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” may have been autistic and hypersensitive to sound. He definitely had a huge problem with public noise pollution, and spent his later year waging a war on street musicians (and organ grinders in particular).

(bc like, yeah. screw organ grinders.)

Sometimes when I’m out in public and the overhead music is particularly unbearable, I’ll take a moment to look up to the sky and scream out: “HE TRIED TO WARN US! THE FATHER OF COMPUTERS TRIED TO WARN US!!! we should have listened, sweet heaven we should have listened!”

except i don’t scream it, i say it very quietly under my breath

(i have issues with noise)

so yeah that is my short essay. and here is the ko-fi goal

k ciao i gotta go pick out glitter stickers for my headphones

#actuallyautistic #not a shitpost #holy shit how did i spend 3 hours writing this what even is my blog #this blog is supposed to be blue whale anxiety and uncomfortably sexy clown jokes #what am i doing #sensory processing disorder #sensory issues #mental health #actually autistic #NOTIFY ME OF ANY TYPOS #i proofread this 5 times my eyes weep an unceasing flood of blood and regret #adhd #actuallyadhd #autism #sensory problems

5K notes · View notes

btsandvmin · 3 years

Text

Ask: Reply - 2021.07.26

It’s been a while since I answered a lot of asks, and honestly last time kind of took a toll on me. I really didn’t expect the responses I got. But, alas there will always be a lot of different opinions and all I am doing is sharing mine. So, I felt it was time to do another round of asks and I hope you’ll find this post interesting but know that I am simply expressing my thoughts, opinions or guesses about various topics.

Here are the topics I will go through this time:

Ask 1 - Discredit Vmin moments and what makes Vmin different? Ask 2 - Thoughts on PTD and how some complain about BTS’s sound. Ask 3 - PTD, Butter or Dynamite? Ask 4 - PTD reaction and cut Ask 5 - “Vmin initiate handshakes when one of them is feeling kissy” Ask 6 - Update on analyses Ask 7 - BTS room changes Ask 8 - The PTD dance practice “grab” Ask 9 - Vmin roleplay as significant others Ask 10 - Tae leaning in Ask 11 - Vmin slow dancing (hard to not be delulu) Aks 12 - Other ships and why do I still choose Vmin? (This ask made me laugh)

There are some questions about music and songs this time which I found really fun! Let’s get started! :)

Ask 1 - Discredit Vmin moments and what makes Vmin different?

Thank you so much for loving my blog and welcome to the ARMY. :)

I’ve talked about both these topics before in a lot of different posts, and of course it’s all very subjective and personal as to why people might think or see things differently, but I go through my own main theories and thoughts in these posts:

I ship Vmin. and Why do you think the fandome brozone Vmin so much?

I would say the friendzoning and the discrediting of Vmin as a ship has a lot of various and rather complex reasons behind it (both on individual levels and as to how the general community view them), and also that with time the image of them as best friends has been cemented and blocks a lot of people from seeing their moments as something else. I also think other shippers and the biggest ships in the fandom having Vmin as a direct obstacle has lead to it being easier to just make Vmin platonic.

I also recomend reading my post Normalizing Vmin or “Vmin” since I think there is (or at least should be) a significant difference in how people view Vmin as a ship vs them as real people.

As for your question about what makes Vmin different, it’s not going to be something anyone can easily touch upon, and everyone will have their own views and biases. Not to shoot you down, but basically all shippers think their ship has something special about them. That’s just the way it is and we all have our own preferences and reasons for why we fall for certain dynamics.

What I can say is that Vmin themselves, as well as other members and even sometimes staff, seem to also consider Vmin special. After all the label of soulmates is quite a huge statment. Not to mention the other things they have said and done. Even another line in Friends “We are each other’s mystery. Is that why it’s even more special.” clearly they are special to each other and even they seem to have a hard time clearly express why. But they are, and we as fans can clearly see it and how much they mean to each other.

If we talk what makes Vmin different to me compared to other ships then there are the shipper reply (just my feelings and preference) and then the analytical reply (why Vmin is more suspicious and why I think they would have a bigger chance to be real than other pairs). And some things that are a mix of both. I also talked about my reasons why Vmin is standing out to me before HERE in a previous ask.

It’s a very big question, because in the end all BTS ships and dynamics are fundamentally “different” from each other. So a lot is just based on what you tend to focus on or put more weight to.

For me personally I have my reasons, like loving “my the best friend is also my lover” type of relationships, and then the interpretations of Vmin’s relationship that I find interesting and the theories are a sort of secondary layer to why they stand out. But most of all I just see a lot of love and a very intimate and precious bond between them that I can’t help but adore no matter what kind of love there is. Not that I don’t see love between other members, but I simply ended up falling harder for Vmin’s bond and after watching many members dynamics find Vmin more interesting.

Vmin are easy to love though, aren’t they? Thank you for the ask and I hope you’ll enjoy being in the fandom <3

Ask 2 - Thoughts on PTD and how some complain about BTS’s sound.

First things first, yes I have seen this reaction many times. And in particular when there has been a bigger difference in how the previous song/album sounded. In particular I remember when DNA came out and people didn’t like it because it was “too happy pop” and they wanted more “old BTS”, when the title track before DNA was Not today, and before that Spring Day. Same thing when IDOL was the track after Fake Love. Like, BTS tries a lot of different things all the time, and that’s also how they keep being relevant and are interesting to so many different people. Because they aren’t doing the same songs over and over and are curious to try new things. To me the times we get more “pop” or “bright” songs or concepts it seems to be a lot of “BTS can do better/I like their eariler sounds more” reactions. But they probably forget what a diverse discography they have. Recency bias is probably partly to blame. And of course if someone became a fan after a certain song they might like that sound and want more of it.

As for people unstanning because of a song or concept that’s just their loss. I know a lot of people who follow artists and then lose interest and that’s completely their own choice. It’s a bit weird in my opinion to turn away from a group because of a song or even an album having a different sound, but all the same if they want to unstan then let them. Basically fans will come and go and with as big a fanbase as ARMY of course not everyone will like the same things. That’s as you say one of the appeals with BTS, that so many genres and types of music can be found, which means all kinds of fans kind find something to enjoy.

As for my own thoughts I hope to not offend anyone, but I think PTD might be my least favorite title track from BTS in a very long time (gonna have to update my ranking). So it’s not like I don’t understand some of the criticism of the song. Personally I think it’s quite generic and has applied autotune in a weird way to the point where some of their voices blend together. I am not saying it’s bad, and it’s certainly a happy song and something that gets stuck in my head quickly (I also incidentlly love the Vmin bridge a whole lot though). But in my title track ranking it will place very low, simply because I like other BTS songs a lot more.

Something I also feel is that fans need to be allowed to not like everything BTS (or any artist does), but of course the way you express it is going to make a big difference.

I also think that the three English songs BTS has done; Dynamite, Butter and Permission to Dance, are all lyrically less complex and don’t feel as connected to BTS than most of their Korean songs. That doesn’t have to mean they are “bad songs” though. There are plenty of simple songs that I love, but if it’s important to someone with complex or deep lyrics that’s based in their own taste and should be ok too. Again, not to say they can just hate on it or say “it’s universally bad”, but there is also not really any point in saying they can’t be dissapointed or dislike it. It’s all opinions right?

For me the whole is something that creates a song, and sometimes lyrics will be more important, but a lot of the time it’s honestly just the music and how much I “vibe with it”. But I also know that’s based on my taste and own likes... My opinion is one out of millions, and there are good ways and bad ways to express your opinions. Anyways, my point is that even thought I love BTS I am not the biggest fan of EVERY SONG they make. Now it happens that the latest song is further down on my list than some of the ones before it. But I also remember that ON and Black Swan (some of my own personal favortie title tracks) were just a little over a year ago and that BE had a lot of very different and great songs, so even if I personally is not the biggest fan of every new song every time I know there will be new things to look forward to.

BTS are some of the best artists and song makers I’ve ever seen and I trust them to make many more great songs. I am 100% confident BTS will keep trying new things and give us different kinds of songs, mixed with more familiar sounds. Not everyone will like every song and that’s ok, but it is indeed frustrating when people forget how different BTS can sound and how recency bias makes fans react so strongly to the latest songs if they happen to not be their own taste.

So in short, yes these kinds of thoughts have basically always been around, and I think it’s just easier to ignore it. I also think if people don’t like it and express it in nice ways that should be ok too... And then if they decide to unstan for these reasons It’s their own loss anyways.

Ask 3 - PTD, Butter or Dynamite?

I usually need some time for a song to “settle” unless it’s an instant love. For example BST, Don’t leave me, ON, Love yourself: Answer or Mikrokosmos were instant loves for me while I’m fine, Home, EGO or Lights took longer for me to love. Like I need to listen actively before I start to like some songs more... All three of these English releases have been kind of “meh” for me at first listen, with Butter being the one I liked the most from the start. But as time passes I’ve come to like Dynamite more and more, so that might also happen with the other two songs. Permission to Dance is kind of super catchy so I might listen to it more as time passes. I am definitely bopping along to PTD so it might grow on me. ;P

What I am saying is that it’s a bit unfair to compare at the moment, and I might change my mind in the future. That being said the current ranking is probably: Butter> Dynamite> PTD.

Also, I like all songs, and I listen to them, but none of them are in my favorites of BTS’s discography and likely never will be. (They might honestly not even make my top 50 BTS songs list but that’s just because BTS are that great at making great songs.) I also have some parts in each song I love more or less, but as a whole I just based this on what song I am most likely to listen to more often.

Ask 4 - PTD reaction and cut

I finally got to watch it, and first of all the way Vmin had to touch and how Tae once again compliments Jimin for the most random thing... T-T

(Thank you again @vminforlife for the gif)

I for sure noticed the cut. But the cut is so short and they all seem to look basically the same so I am not sure why they would have to cut away like 2 seconds. They also cut in a few other places... I don’t know. There’s not a lot of room for much “to happen”, so I think it’s maybe just the editors deciding those two seconds weren’t interesting? I really don’t know. To begin with I don’t really believe much in the “big hit edit away ship moments” theories.

Ask 5 - “Vmin initiate handshakes when one of them is feeling kissy”

That’s a very cute head canon. I myself had something similar when before Vmin started to hold hands all the time they had a thing for fist bumps. I even wrote a small fic scene on it.

Jimin giggles and his eye smile is captured by the photographer who gives them a thumbs up. That makes Taehyung smile too. Jin is just trying his best to pose between them.

Taehyung reaches across their hyung to let his hand be within reach of Jimin and they make them come together with Jin trapped in between. Jin effectively acts more annoyed than he actually is and tries to seperate them. "Will you stop that, he didn't do anything special. You don't need to fist bump each other for every little thing."

"It's not a fist bump, it’s a hand peck." Taehyung says as he lets his hand fall back to his side. Quiet enough for the currently occupied photographer to not hear anything.

"A what now?" The oldest looks at him confused.

"A hand peck, because the hands come together and meet for a little kiss." Jimin immediately chips in.

Jin is quiet for a second before he acts out a gag. Jimin thinks it's unnecessarily dramatic.

"Oh my god. I think this might be the most sickening thing I've heard you say. This suddenly just makes everything so much worse. Why did you have to tell me that?" The photographer is thankfully not taking pictures at the moment, or he would have captured a face that might have made people question the label world wide handsome.

"You asked." Jimin says curtly. Only a little offended by the strong reaction. He thought the idea was cute when they came up with it.

"Well I take it back." Jin’s ears are quite the shade of red at this point and they take pity on him.

"Sorry hyung." Taehyung says from the other side of Jin. He doesn't sound very apologetic at all, but before their hyung has a chance to complain further the photographer seems to be ready to continue again and they’re back in work mode.

After the shoot is done and they all head to the car they congratulate themselves for a job well done. And just to rub it in Jin's face they make another fist bump, followed by an actual peck on the mouth. Jin can't hide the fondness no matter how much he tries to act disgusted and Jimin decides he might have to fistbump with Tae a little more often from now on.

Of course it’s impossible for us to know if they ever have any additional intentions or feelings or reasons behind anything that they do. But honestly, Vmin touching all the time and reaching out for each other is such a sweet and yet kind of unnecessary thing they do. I love it. :3

Ask 6 - Update on analyses

Thank you all so much for liking my blog and for looking forward to my analyses. 💜 I don’t think I can truly explain how much it means to me that you all also are so kind and don’t want to put pressure on me.

That being said... I don’t know when I will get to post... My original wish and plan was to have both of them out and done by August. However, I both have lack of time and lost a lot of motivation to do analysis after my two latest rounds of doubt (after the ask chaos with the ji/kooker/dissapointed vminies and the response to my Vmin video).

It’s all taking a lot more energy from me now and I guess some of my happiness and spark of joy that I got has diminished, which is kind of sad honestly. Enjoying what I do is of course extremely important for me to feel motivated enough to write and research. I am still working on the analyses, but it’s much slower at the moment. And again, even more so since I also don’t have much time for anything... I haven’t watched most of the new Bangtan Bombs, and I haven’t seen a single performance of PTD in full. I am very far behind at the moment, and that is not really by choice. So I need to get more free time to do basically anything BTS related, even just enjoying their general content.

Sorry. But also thank you, I am glad you all still patiently wait for me despite everything. <3

Ask 7 - BTS room changes

Hi, and thank you for caring. I’m not great, but I’ll be fine eventually. <3

As for BTS sharing rooms there has been a few changes over the years, and yes after splitting up from all of them sharing one room Jimin, Taehyung and Hobi shared for a few years between 2015-17, with Vmin in a bunk bed. You can see this dorm in BV1.

Then they moved to a bigger place in 2017 and they split it Hobi/Jimin, Jin/Yoongi, Namjoon/Tae and JK alone. Basically the only change was that JK got his own room and Tae roomed with Namjoon instead. We don’t know why or how they chose who to share with, but there weren’t many changes and we do know JK got his own room because he won rock, paper, scissors if I am not mistaken.

I’ve thought about it before, why Tae would seperate out of Vminhope, but looking at Namjoon/Tae’s “room” it seemed to not be directly connected like the other shared rooms, so perhaps it was for privacy reasons. Like how Tae likes playing games or watch movies late at night, so it was better for him to have a more secluded room. But I mean, it’s all pure speculation.

They moved again somwhere late 2017 I think and in 2018 there was this weird thing about their new dorm and “announcing” who shared with who... But it ended up not actually being talked about at all exept them saying Hobi and Jimin were the only two room mates and everyone else had a room of their own. (It was over all a weird time for BTS with the break getting longer than planned and what we know now even talks about disbandment. But yeah, quite anticlimactic)

We also know they moved again, and it’s the dorm we’ve seen the kitchen and couch area of, but more than that it’s kind of been a bit private and we don’t know much of who stays in the dorm or not. We do know that most of them own property, and that some of them definitely spend time in their own apartments. But honestly, since they still talk about the dorm I am sure it’s used at least sometimes by some of them. We also know they come together there at times like in BV4 or when they did the Run cooking episode or when some of them watched the Grammy nomination.

Anyways, we don’t really know why they split it the way they did. But if I get slightly more conspiratorial the timing of the split was right around Vmin letting us all know they were soulmates. It’s yet another added reason why people talked about Vmin being less close or having a falling apart in 2017-18 and just being played up. But we also know Tae went to Jimin because of his nightmare in mid 2017 and that they seem to have a preference to share rooms. So again, even if there would have been some reason to split them up I don’t think it would have been because of something bad between them. But knowing BTS it could just as easily have happened randomly or that they simply don’t care much who they share with.

Also, no matter what we also know Vmin at least at times sleep together even now, so I suppose that’s the most interesting part of information to hold on to. :P

And no, I am not letting this one go. ;P

Ask 8 - The PTD dance practice “grab”

I mean, I think the touching while turning was on purpose, but I am personally thinking the di*ck grab was accidental. I think Jimin was going for holding on to Tae, and let his hand go a little too far back. I definitely think he noticed what happened though. I mean, it does seem like he smirked before it happened, so maybe he was going for something... But still not sure he went “yes I am aming for d*ck”. I do find it hilarious that Tae didn’t even react and also that they decided to use this take for the official dance practice though. :P If nothing else this is just another example of Vmin having very few boundaries.

So I do agree with your question “WTF is normal for them?” even though I am not so sure the d*ck grab part was done on purpose.

Ask 9 - Vmin roleplay as significant others

I mean, they already have? :P At least once with the break-up drama from memories 2015.

On top of that you also have Tae wanting Jimin to be the girlfriend for another acting moment, and acording to Jin apparently Taehyung was acting out him and Jimin in a forbidden relationship at home alone. So, yeah....

It has definitely happened, we have it confirmed, and it wouldn’t be impossible for it to still be happening. They’ve definitely been in that area more recently as well.

Imagine Vmin being real, the double cross of actual boyfriends acting like pretend boyfriends.

Thanks for the oppurtunity to giggle at Vmin’s very domestic roleplays. ;)

Ask 10 - Tae leaning in

It’s such a cute moment isn’t it? I always love when Tae feels touchy and initiates with Jimin. Personally moments like this and how they so often touch in places like the neck just shows how normal this kind of intimate touch is to them.

I don’t think Tae was leaning in to do anything, but again, it shows how close they can be and that it’s likely something normal between them. Tae’s smile/reaction is also so cute, I know we barely see it but I feel I can call it being endeared anyways. I am just going to add this to the collection of moments that makes me think Vmin are totally fine and used to touching in very intimate ways. Sometimes it’s completely fine and no big deal, but sometimes they might not want to show it. This to me this is more of the first, where they seem very normal about it.

So that being said I think Jimin isn’t actually pulling away that much, exept him holding onto Tae’s arms. But the swift turning around at the end was something both he and Yoongi did so I feel it was them being told to look at the camera or get ready to pose. Either way, I find this very sweet and I love how happy and touchy Tae is. :3

Speaking of touching, and in particular touching necks...

Ask 11 - Vmin slow dancing (hard to not be delulu)

What do you mean looking like? They obviously are? Even if it would just be for that short moment that’s clearly what they are doing. 😭 And again with the hand on the neck/nape.

(Also, this is the perfect incitament to create Historical AU Vmin)

ON/MOTS:7 era was such a blessing for Vminies wasn’t it? I agree slow dancing on it’s own doesn’t really have to mean anything, but this period just have something magical about it when it comes to Vmin. The effect of Friends and Sweet Night and Tae and Jimin just being so obviously clingy and cute with each other. The timing and just looking at Vmin over time and with a longer perspective in general there for sure are a lot of things that “work” and seem to create a rather interesting narrative. So yeah, I can agree not being delusional can be hard sometimes, in particular when taking a step back and not looking at individual moments but instead a longer timeline and how their behavior has looked. But of course it’s always uncertain if these things are just in our heads or if there is legit something there beneath the surface.

Either way, this moment was super cute and I am looking forwards to seeing this in full and all the other content I am sure we will get from Memories 2020! 💜

Aks 12 - Other ships and why do I still choose Vmin? (This ask made me laugh)

I wasn’t going to include this ask at first because honestly I think anyone who has followed me or watched Vmin interact at all would know why this ask just seems kind of ridiculous to me. Actually you kind of demonstrate perfectly why we shouldn’t trust it when people call Vmin distant or lesser than other ships.

Calling Vmin dead is such a boring trend, don’t you think? And when exactly did Vmin ignore each other? Why would I “give up on Vmin”? Despite the urban legends they spoil me with moments and their incredible love for each other constantly. I don’t know how you haven’t managed to see their interactions. Mind you this ask came to me during PTD promo... After stuff like the PTD reaction. Like... Vmin was trending almost every day last week. This happened yesterday:

What I can say that not only do I love Vmin, but I personally think we have the best moments out of all the BTS ships. Like, by far. I wouldn’t trade any moments for what we have with Vmin (I mean, obviously, I have a big bias towards their dynamics and moments and got into them for a reason).

I also think IF any ship would be real at all Vmin is the best bet. I have my reasons, but you probably wouldn’t care even if I counted them all again here, because if you did you would have read my blog and known about them already. And you wouldn’t have asked this question to begin with and even less called Vmin dead or said they ignore each other.

Anyways, I just found this kind of funny so I decided to include it. Sorry if I offended you anon but you really don’t seem to know much about Vmin and I have no idea how you came to your conclusions about them. If you really want to know why I love Vmin, why I ship them and why I find them interesting beyond shipping you can always look through My masterpost.

I am here because I like it and because Vmin love each other and are super easy to love in return. I’ve never once felt like jumping ship, and after 5 years as a Vminie I don’t think there is any reason to worry about these two soulmates’ bond.

And that will be all for this time! Thank you everyone for the questions and inputs, I hope you too enjoyed reading this and that you are all happy with how much Vmin we are getting! :3

#vmin #vmin gif #vmin analysis #btsandvmin #ask: reply #btsandvmin ask #btsandvmin answer #my post #bts permission to dance

58 notes · View notes

natromanxoff · 3 years

Text

Most of you probably know about the alleged tape incident of Roger’s. After constantly getting pissed off because of him getting called as “dumbass”, seeing people trying to find and watch the video (let’s be honest that is actually a little impertinent); now I am able to acknowledge better how someone out there made up some incorrect version about this, maybe even totally fake, story and the misinformation had spread around. It’s actually getting even worse when the incident in question might not have happened at all.

Last month, I have come across and received the scan of another article which had headlines about this matter. And guess what? While I was only expecting to read pure nonsense again, there was more about it - I realized that it doesn’t tell about it as Roger giving the wrong tape and it’s totally different. The Sun said “it’s stolen" too but everybody around has been saying “he gave it”. Before I start, I’d like to point out some important points:

1. Be aware that this is, even though it has reached out to tabloids, a private issue. Whether the story is wrong or right, this is a story about a private stuff of them. Above all, Roger is already a private person himself about his personal life. Please be respectful at that if you ever say something about it.

2. You all use this story to mock him in some ways which I don’t really appreciate – it’s kind of like IILWMC –, don’t do it. I am not writing this down for you to change the context and make more jokes. My sole purpose is trying to stop this ‘gave the wrong tape’ accusation because I don’t see any source or proof regarding that. Send me if there’s any but I don’t think there is.

3. Always remember that these are only tabloid stuff. Most of the time, they are not credible or creditable at all. Those are the same papers which wrote all the horrible things when Freddie passed away. It’s hard to trust anything that those unreliable papers wrote about. But, at least, we’ll be able to see the origin of some details. Basically, keep in mind that this whole thing might not have happened at all but it also mentions nothing about him making a mistake - that part doesn’t appear anywhere on the internet actually, except on the words of fans’.

4. Let’s just not delve into this subject much more than necessary but only read the paper to see what it says. As I said, this post is written only for information.

We all know about The Sun article (May 4th, 1991). The one I mentioned now is from Sunday Mirror (SM) (May 5th, 1991). There is a couple of interesting points when you compare these two; that person asked for £10,000 from the first one anonymously and £5,000 from the second one by arranging a meeting; The Sun says they let the police know about it and some progress have already been made, SM says they gave the files to detectives the previous night; The Sun is somehow able to tell that the video was recorded in the previous year but also tells that it’s not known how the copy was made, meanwhile SM describes it with details. They make me nothing but more suspicious, like they are in contradict and something feels off. Did he request two different amounts of money from two different newspaper company by having only one copy to see which one will accept? Or were there more than one copy? If there were more than one, it makes me think that people would have found it by now. I am not going to question these anymore though, I don’t want to do that and it’s not my aim at all, because the main point I’d like to talk about and correct is how the tape has reached out to Douglas Lane, the person who tried to sell it,: by the man who was hired to do some work at Roger’s home when he was away. He thought the tape he saw on the shelf is a video from The Miracle album and took it home to watch so he basically ‘stole’ it because he ended up making a copy and giving it to Lean.

Lean claimed the tape had been “borrowed” and copied by a 47-old-friend.

The man had been hired to do building work at Taylor’s £700,000 second home in Kensington, West London, while the star was away.

He took the tape from a shelf thinking it was a video from Queen’s Miracle album.

Lean said: “He is a Queen fan so he thought he would take it home and have a look at it.”

And Douglas, who earns money in an unsatisfying amount, thought that he would get more by selling it.

“He had the sense to copy it and put the original back, but he didn’t do anything with the copy.

“He knew I was involved in music and told me about it.”

Lean, who drives a concrete mixer by day and earns £20 a night playing guitar in pubs, said: “I immediately thought I could make myself a packet out of it.

“It was my idea to sell it.”

Sunday Mirror writes that Lean said Roger edited the tape so that after those “sessions”, you see Breakthru video and he labelled the tape “Breakthru promo”.

“Taylor has no idea the video has been copied,” said Lean.

He said the tape was labelled “Breakthrough Promo” — the name of the band’s single from the Miracle album.”

I mean, really? I honestly don’t have any idea why he would do that. Why would he add a private video on a same tape with one of Queen videos? Why would he bother? If he did, why does he label it with that? Why does that worker get so curious about a video from 2 years ago? Maybe he didn’t have chance to see it in those two years, that could be the only answer. But why does he bring it to his home rather than watching it in Roger’s home? Surely, he wouldn’t see any problem at that as he’s fine with taking something that doesn’t belong to him. It’s purely a chance that he came across with something unexpected which will make him want to copy it at his home.

And after everything, this is apparently what Lean says:

But he insisted: The video was not stolen. It was just borrowed and copied.”

I can say a lot of words right now but I won’t… If all these things are really true, that is not an excuse of taking someone’s private stuff to copy without their consent, not ethical at all as he aimed to sell it and make it public. Ergo it was indeed stolen.

So, see? There is no “mixing the tapes and giving the wrong tape to a fan”. I assume this article must be the first place where that wrong version came from. And if it is telling the truth, there seems to be no mistake he has done here because his private stuff has been taken from his property unbeknownst to him. Briefly, we don’t know for sure if they had a tape and if it has really reached out to someone but if it did, then I believe this is high likely how it would happen.

It’s worth to mention that there is another theory regarding these news, that it’s been arranged to take media’s attention off Freddie. I can’t tell which one is true or if both them are wrong and nothing even happened, of course. It’s up to you, choosing whatever you’re going to believe in. But know that I can’t see any creditable source about him giving the wrong tape - so I wouldn’t suggest believing in that or keeping talking about it - and there might be more about this that we don’t / won’t know about so it’s only haste to make a judgement based on these.

Last note about something regarding him in general: Please, don’t take the different versions of this story and comments about them into account when you form your opinion about him because only those things don’t define him. Or the other way around, “if it’s Roger, it’s probably true - he would do it” attitude is not really fair when we consider that it’s actually you who chose to perceive him in that way by getting influenced whether by the movie or some ‘facts’ around - they do not reflect some aspects of him in the right way. Always try to find an original source. It is not always only him who would have his fun in those various ways, it is possible for any other rock star. All of them did some stuff - sometimes some really bad stuff - but it is not only Roger (I don’t mean the stated story here though, I honestly can’t see anything bad there). So him being the one who is involved in this story doesn’t prove or provide any authenticity. If everyone complies with that while critizing him or not approving something about him, it is always acceptable and welcomed, in my opinion. And that is valid about everyone, of course.

#gosh i have oscillated so much between posting and not but here it is #queen #queen band #roger taylor #roger meddows taylor

57 notes · View notes

nobodycallsmerae · 3 years

Text

Hello, Hello!

Soo, a few days back, I had shared a post asking for some BBRae AU fanfiction recommendations, so, let's put the fact aside that it didn't really help... but now, I'm here to share some stories that I've read, and I recommend reading!

So, this list only consists of AU (Alternate Universe) stories where they aren't superheroes, so you can skip it if you want ^^

So... I won't rank them, because I think every story is amazing, (and I'm pretty easy to please,) so, I'm just assorting them as I keep collecting the links :) Also, I'll try my best to review the stories without giving away any spoilers...

Firstly, there are too many good fics to count, but here I am mentioning the ones which stood up in my mental folder. (Also, it only includes completed stories.)

This list includes all types of stories, high school, co-workers, roommates and all... the ratings are between T-M.

(Links lead to stories on Fanfiction.net.)

The Butterfly Effect -by Light NS | Rated M for semi-sexually explicit material and topics of depression and suicide.

This story definitely comes in my top-5 list blindly, and it deserves so much more! The story is about Gar and Raven, who are adults now... and let's just say there are far too many coincidences in this one! It's a lovely story with also a healthy amount of tension... because, I personally believe it can't be BBRae without some arguments *shruggs*. You should definitely check it out if you haven't already!!

Broken -by LightNS | Rated T

Oofff... okay, so this story is actually one of the first BBRae stories I've read and it's really close to my heart...

First of all, I want to say that the characters in this story are freakishly accurate. I mean, the personalities are on-point. In this story, the Titans are high schoolers, but this isn't exactly a high school romance kinda book. To be honest, this isn't exactly a romance book..(?) It's more like an action/thriller... And... it isn't heavily a BBRae book... I mean, yeah, it is based on those two characters, and Gar spends most of his time crushing on her... but, y'know, it's a book that shows both of them growing... and learning about each other -and themselves.

The writer does an amazing job to portray the character's feelings and personalities, and I'm sure her writing won't disappoint you.

The only drawback this story has is... well, it has a discontinued sequel named "Glass", so, it's kinda sad that, I mean, I've fallen in love with those characters... but, they don't really have a happy ending soo…

This writer is also on Tumblr, @lightns881 , so you can also visit her blog and support her!

By the way, there're also really great BBRae communities to be found on Fanfiction.net and you can check them out for more fun stuff to read. The ones I thoroughly recommend are:

"Best Of BBRae" which basically has all the goodness, IU and AU (but, it's a bit old so... you might not see newer fics there.); and

"Best Of BBRae AU's" which is a collection of one of the best AU stories.

Moving on...

Everything Has Changed -by Chibi 1309 | Rated M for Mature themes and language.

This story also comes in my beloved top-5 list!!

I don't really know what to say about this story without ruining it, but if you're on the lookout for an adult Titans BBRae fic, this is definitely your stop. Well, let me just say that, Gar and Rachel are best friends, a troupe I personally adore, and they live together in an apartment in Jump City.

This story has a lot... I mean, A LOT of feels, and the writer... *chef kiss* She really knows what she's doing. May it be the setting, the characters, the emotions... the author could deliver it wonderfully.

It also has a lot of other Titan members, so I like the fact that it also gives us an insight on what's going on in their lives too, rather than just Gar and Rachel.

Hands up in surrender, I won't say anything else, because I don't trust my mouth (or fingers), but this work is definitely a must read.

"Spy vs Spy" by Caitastrophe8499 | Rated M for mature themes, violence, and adult situations.

This... is a masterpiece people. You should definitely read it... like RIGHT NOW!

In this story, Gar and Rae are from rival agencies, Doom Patrol and Titans, and as fate has it, they're forced to work together. Neither of them are happy about it, because of each other's cocky and standoffish attitude and as both of them work best solo... and also... both of them hate each other... at first. This book, it includes lots of action, and if you knew me, you'll know that I am a sucker for crime and thriller. I mean, this story in itself is so great, it could be adapted into an ACTION MOVIE!! Or maybe a graphic novel to start with. :)

And what's best about it is, it doesn't only show two people romance each other, it shows a group of people working together to catch a deadly villain. I won't say much more to build suspense, but all I'll say is, it's entertaining, spicy, and the character dynamic fit perfectly with their relationship and situation, and if you haven't read it, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!! CHECK IT OUT NOW!! This will probably be one of the best recommendations of your life.

Assuming -by magisterquinn | Rated T

This is a feel good, light-hearted BBRae story that I very much enjoyed. So, basically, it's about Raven (or is it Rachel, I forget), and how the (dashingly handsome and) annoying employee won't leave her alone. She also gets a series of mail that sparks her interest, and I don't trust myself to say more without spoiling it.

Magisterquinn, the author, has an amazing collection of the BBRae (AU) stories they've written, "Chivalry Isn't Dead", "Making Mr.Right" (a must read) and "In Paris" to name a few, so, I definitely recommend checking out their profile for amazing and clever reads.

The Malchior Widow -by beautifulpurpleflame | Rated M

...this story...all I wanna say is... if you haven't read it, you're missing out on something wonderful in your fangirl(/boy) life.

This story is based on my favorite troupe, which is where all Gar wants is for Raven to open up to him. It's like, Raven is a reserved, "untouchable" person, and Gar, being Gar... feels an urge to talk to her. After many, many attempts, when Gar finally talks to her, his friends are like, "How'd you get her to talk?" or "How's she open up to you?" and the response is, "No one's ever even tried before."

"The Malchior Widow" goes at a satisfying, feel-good pace... and it's one hell of a journey. I mean, as the title suggests, Raven's a widow, and she isn't exactly open to the possibility of loving... or trusting someone else yet. It shows not only both of them falling in love... but also understanding, knowing, and learning to trust each other.

Another good AU story by Beautifulpurpleflame is "The Beach House", so you can also read that.

Honorary mention::

"How To Save Her Life" (Rated T) by "Beautifulpurpleflame"

If you're looking for a wholesome, toe-curling good, filled with feels, amazing, awesome, family Titans BBRae story... this book will give you everything... or any of Beautifulpurpleflame's stories really...

I mean, that girl... is a legend... Her stories are so great.. just... I'm speechless

Don't forget to check 'em out.

You can also follow this amazing writer on Tumblr, @beautifulpurpleflame , and show her some love and support.

Okay, another story... Now this may be considered cheating, as I'm only including completed stories... but I couldn't stop myself from not mentioning this story...

Nevermore Records -by LilyTimbers | Rated T

According to the author, only one chapter and an epilogue is left... so, I guess we could wave it off with a yellow flag?

I, myself, can't go on a single day without music. And the idea of my favorite team of superheroes... being a Rock Band..? Boy, ya' don't gotta tell me twice!

This is a slow burn story, which includes Gar in his mid-twenties, along with the other Titans (except Raven), being a part of a Rock Band, which plays gigs at different places just as a side hobby. But, as they have real talent, they get a once in a life-time chance to be an officially labeled band, they're ought to be super hit. Here, we also see some other Titans, which is a real sight for sore eyes sometimes... But, just being good doesn't mean that everything's out for them in a gold platter. The team itself faces lots of challenges which is, truth be told, really entertaining. And the fact that Gar's love interest is his own manager? Oooh... you're up for a real good ride...

I'll keep the rest of the reading to you... and believe me, the story is waaay better than my small review.

The author is also an amazing artist, and has many beautiful BBRae fanarts on her Tumblr profile @lilytimbers , so you can follow her for updates! (though tbh I think you already do... but I felt like saying it, soo...)

If you're also a sucker for musical band based BBRae story, don't forget to check out

Harmony -by Kid Walker | Rated M

Here, Raven joins a singing group which does covers, and quite willingly, she can't seem to keep her eyes off of their leader/director, Gar Logan... and looks like he can't either. It's an amazing story, and I believe you'll really enjoy reading it!

(The story itself is complete, just some extra bonus chapters that the Author posts are yet to be updated, so I guess this story qualifies.)

There is also a huge collection of amazing BBRae AU stories on Wattpad, too many to count, but here are two stories that I remember... and had a good time reading...

(On Wattpad only: (and only completed ones.))

High School -by anssoftball94

Soo... as you might've guessed from the title, here Gar and Rae are high schoolers. They live together with Rick (Dick/Robin), Kory and Vic in the Tower. I guess we could call it a slow burn, and what I enjoy is it also has the other Titans in a satisfying amount.

What I love about this story is that Gar and Rae don't just jump into a romantic relationship (like most teens do, I'm just sayin'!) and start a romance, no. In this story, first, they understand each other... and in a subtle manner, fall for each other. It's a really sweet and practical story, and I really enjoyed it... (even though I had to wait for the ending for decades!!)

Just one thing that makes this story a bit weird is that instead of "Gar" or "Garfield", Beast Boy is mentioned as "Logan" throughout the whole story... so... it was a bit... y'know? *shruggs*. But otherwise it's a must read.

A+ -by NikolaDabrowska

This story, to be honest, will definitely qualify as a cliché high school romance, "popular basketball kid falls for introverted bookworm nerd", but I really enjoyed reading it.

I mean like, you know what they say about Disney Classics, right? Even though we've read Beauty and The Beast or Snow White, we still like to watch the movies..? This story's like that.

Even though the troupe is kinda cliché, the story itself is executed in a very engaging manner, with interesting character dynamics and some original plots, so, I would definitely recommend reading it. (I, myself, have read it more than five times...)

So, that was a list of the BBRae AU stories that I highly recommend! There are more amazing (and incomplete) stories out there to read, but these are just the ones I've thoroughly enjoyed (and remembered.)

Also, feel free to share your BBRae story, if you have written any, and I'll happily read and support your story!!

Happy Reading!

Quick endnote, if you've read this post till here, do me a favor and check out my stories too! ;)

On Fanfiction.net and Wattpad.

All of my stories are complete, instead of "Tease Is Just The Cover" on FF.net (which I don't think I'm gonna work on any time soon), so feel free to check 'em out!

Sorry for the advertising, but I also want an audience y'know?

THANK YOU! And I hope you have a good day/evening/night ahead!

#bbrae #garchel #garrae #teen titans #fanfiction #au #alternate universe #recommendations #fanfic recommendation #titans #raven #rachel roth #raven roth #beast boy #changeling #gar logan #garfield logan

84 notes · View notes

incorrectlumityquotes · 3 years

Text

FULL REVIEWS: “Covention”

I didn’t think I’d have a harder time doing these reviews on my days off than on a workday, but errands and all that. I had no expectations going into this episode at the time since “covention” is a fake made up word. But I heard Amity was going to be in it, so I got excited. The spice of life returns. It’s been a hot minute. Let’s see how the episode holds up.

The episode starts with one of my favorite cold openings. Super funny and gives a good shot at those books that have that pretentious flowery language. Seriously who says “thou” and “hast” anymore. Lame. Luz tossing King into the portal right when it closes was my favorite bit. Was Eda really going to go to the human world just for that?

Also I didn’t notice until someone pointed it out but I guess they’re using Azura and Hecate as some kinda parallel to Luz and Amity. Hope Amity doesn’t find out that she’s not the Azura character. Does that mean that Eda is that old ass lady and King is that little fox dog thing? That’s not cool, man. Be nice.

So much can be read into it, but that’s for another blog post for another time.

And of course, dumb-dumb me had to wait until the word was said out loud to realize that it was a play on the words “coven” and “convention.” So basically it’s a con episode. Cov episode? Whatever. Big brain hurt.

Relationships are a give and take and sometimes you gotta give in. Sorry, Eda.

I don’t know about you guys, but I never really had a lot of fun going to cons. The only part I really liked was meeting my favorite voice actors and watching indie wrestling. All the food, merch, and art was always overpriced and from shows I don’t watch. I don’t join video game tournaments because those people take the games way too seriously. Plus the area that I live in isn’t known for being big on nerd culture so the cons are never that impressive. I met Steve Blum last time and went to one and you can only go down from there so I don’t think I’ll be going to another one any time soon.

I caught this first time I saw it on TV. Luz and Willow arm in arm. Maybe in another life I would be shipping Luz & Willow. Maybe maybe. Also, Skara in the background. I think her design is really cute. Maybe she’ll get an episode in season two. Maybe maybe.

More lore and more worldbuilding which people really seemed to want and we got it. Eda explains that while covens seem like cool groups to belong to, they also strip you of all the other kind of magic you can do. Why? My theory was (and is) that about fifty years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together and tried to figure out a way to control people. Really keep them in line. They knew that people were basically stupid and would believe anything you told them, so they announced that this one guy could talk to the titan that the Isles were based of off. This one guys says that only he could talk to the titan and hear what the titan was saying and that only he could do all kinds of magic. Everyone else is doing it wrong and only he’s doing it right. With no proof or evidence, but trust him he’s on the level. The Boiling Isles was just doing fine before him, but now all of a sudden, we’re all doing it wrong. Let that be a lesson to you, kids. If anyone tells you anything like that, it’s bullshit.

Also the nine covens. Why nine? Why not group the bard and illusionary covens together into the music video coven? Why does potions get its own coven? How much school do you really have to take to learn to mix shit together and stir? Wouldn’t the plant magic coven know something about using plants to make potions? Why does the construction coven get it’s own coven? Couldn’t you use any kind of magic to build things? Is the construction coven the blue collar coven? Beast keeping gets it’s own coven? Like the bitch at the plant coven needs to switch covens to be told to feed her dog? My theory, the nine covens was really a marketing decision. Ten sounds too official. They knew that if it was too neat and tidy, they’d know something was up. Would they though? I don’t think so.

Any group that has their own stormtroopers is automatically evil. Even more proof that the coven system is bullshit.

“Distraction spell!”

This moment made me laugh so damn hard. The crap that Eda pulls is one of the highlights of the show for me.

Luz and Eda go check out The Emperor’s Coven panel in the main hall, and we’re introduced to another major character. Enter Lilith, Eda’s older sister. And I swear to you guys, I was so confused this entire time on who was the older and who was the younger sister until the season finale. Seriously, I kept getting mixed messages. I mean, I know now but give me a break here.

I think Lilith is a good character and a great foil to Eda. The fun part is that since they are sisters, Eda knows exactly how to push her buttons and drag Lilith down to her level. It’s always fun to see a stoic character break.

My finger points.

Amity shows up which automatically makes this episode better. Luz properly introduces herself and we get more back-and-forth. Amity being a real bitch here is more to mislead us for the last act of the episode, but when I first saw it I thought it was more confirmation that Amity was going to be the Draco Malfoy-clone of the series. Glad I was wrong.

We get more of Luz trying to make life play out like her favorite stories and challenges Amity to a witch’s duel. A thing she read in Azura that she has no clue whether or not is a thing in The Boiling Isles. There’s an equal chance that Amity could have just shaken her head and be like, “The fuck is a witch’s duel? That sounds like something you just made up.”

Also Amity should have caught that Azura reference from the start, but then that kinda would have spoiled Lost in Language, huh?

Again, Luz needs to learn that life does not play out like it does in her favorite stories. Challenging your rival to a duel is cool on paper but a big “Yeah no” IRL. Especially since she knows no real offensive spells, no defensive spells, is a weak nerd who has probably never been in a real fight in her life and has no fighting spirit. Trust me guys I learned the hard way. Life is not a shonen anime. You can’t settle anything by fighting.

I love mentor/mentee stories especially when they have a rival mentor/mentee pair. Too bad Dana has already said that Amity and Lilith were not close at all. It was more a relationship of convenience. But then again that would help witch whole foil angle. Lilith and Amity just use each other to get ahead while Eda and Luz do actually build a familial bond.

The duel goes...exactly the way I thought it would. Honestly. The cheating, the whole fight just breaking down, even Lilith and Eda doing an actual witch’s fight. Totally saw it coming. What I didn’t see coming was the bad ass animation they used for the Lilith/Eda fight and...

The Amity scene. The big reveal that Amity is not a Draco Malfoy clone (I only saw the first four movies). She’s just a girl who thinks people should follow the rules, hates cheaters and is under a lot of pressure to succeed. Only someone as empathic as Luz and try to keep building that bridge and try to make things right with Amity, but that’s a whole other episode.

And the episode ends with another great lesson I really like. “Will I ever be a true witch?” “I don’t know. What’s a true witch?” There are always expectations and pressure put upon you to be a true something. Others will want you to conform into a label for one reason or another. But all those expectations and labels are just illusions. It reminds me of a Bruce Lee quote. When an interviewer asked Bruce if he considers himself Chinese or American, he answers that he considers himself, “a human being.”

Labels can be fun because it makes it easier for the brain to organize things, but when people put too much stock into these labels problems arise. Think of labels as a boat to get you across the river. Once you cross the river you leave the boat behind. You don’t carry the boat with you. That’s just dumb.

“Witch please”

FINAL SCORE: 5 - Loved it.

Hot take, Amity makes every episode better. More funny jokes, more worldbuilding, more Amity and hints at the main villain of the show. Lilith was a great addition and the episode hints at the main plot. Probably the most fun I’ve ever had at a con. And speaking of more Amity...

#the owl house #my works #full review #full reviews

85 notes · View notes

hermannsthumb · 3 years

Note

If you’re still doing summer prompts, could you do graduation for newmann?

15. Graduation

from (the very old) summer prompts meme here

enjoy some awkward pre-canon jaeger academy ~ROOMMATES~!! also I am pretty sure this message/prompt is from at least a year ago (if not TWO) but it was only today that I really thought about what I wanted to write for it and wrote in like a FRENZY. content warning for alcohol (no like intoxication tho)

--------

It was hardly to be expected that Newton would be mature over the whole thing, but Hermann finds himself in a perpetual state of agitation the final weeks of their enrollment at the Jaeger Academy anyway. Newton was very young, Hermann knows, when he graduated from university (at least he was young the first time he graduated), and he can only assume the man took it rather hard that he didn’t get to have the proper send-off he thought he deserved—all-night parties with kegerators and beer pong, one-dollar shots at dive bars, trips to the seaside with classmates. One wasn’t likely to invite someone who’d barely breached his teens and still had braces to those sorts of things, after all. It’s the only reason Hermann can think of as to why Newton has spent the month—the whole month—popping open champagne at all hours and organizing spin-the-bottle in the base rec room and generally being a great bloody nuisance to everyone they have the misfortune of sharing their graduating class with. Over-compensation is what it is.

Having Newton as his bunkmate adds a special level of unbearableness to it all. At least—and Hermann does thank the stars above for this—tomorrow marks the end of a very miserable month. A very miserable two years.

“Everyone is going to be there,” Newton says. He’s wearing an oversized pair of neon sunglasses over his regular glasses, for some reason, those abhorrently dated kind with the slatted lenses, and dangling from his left hand are two bottles of pink champagne. A bag of plastic cups dangles in the other. “Everyone. Not even just the k-scientists—the techs, the ranger trainees, the—”

“That all sounds very thrilling,” Hermann says, hefting a stack of button-ups into a cardboard box he’s labeled Clothing – Gottlieb. “You’re aware, I assume, that we’re meant to be moving out tomorrow, and you’ve not touched anything on your side of the room?”

“Dude, I have sooo much time,” Newton says. Hermann realizes now the seal on one of the champagne bottles is broken—which might explain some of Newton’s suspiciously carefree mood. “Besides, I barely even have that much shit here.”

This is patently untrue. Newton’s clothing is overflowing from his dresser; manga and monster action figures and vinyl records clutter up every inch of its top surface; there’s laundry under his bed, on his bed, his guitar picks on Hermann’s bedside table, dirty mugs on his own, half-finished reports and articles scattered over his desk… “Fine,” Hermann says. “But I haven’t finished, at any rate, so I won’t be joining you.”

Newton flops down next to him on his bed; the stopper on the opened champagne bottle wobbles dangerously, and Hermann moves quickly to push it in more firmly so he doesn’t have to add a load of bed linens to his To-Do list. “I think you need to unwind, roomie,” Newton says, grinning up at him. Both pairs of his glasses have slipped off his nose and onto Hermann’s bedspread. “We’ll have all day tomorrow after the dumb ceremony to pack, and you haven’t taken a break in, like, seven years. You’ve earned one.”

Hermann doesn’t want to take a break, or at least not in the way Newton is suggesting. Hermann wants to finish packing up his half of the room, then his designated workspace in the large k-science laboratory, and then take a shower to wash himself of the experience of being Newton Geiszler’s roommate and labmate for two years too many. Noticing his reticence, Newton adds, pleadingly, “Come for one hour? Just to do two shots with me? One shot?” He blinks, half-blind without his glasses, as if trying to discern whether or not Hermann looks likely to give in. “No shots? C’mon, Hermann, you owe me.”

“Owe you?” Hermann says, frowning.

Newton nudges him with the stack of plastic cups. “Y’know—for the sake of your ol’ penpal,” he says.

The reference to their letter-writing days jars Hermann, and despite his best efforts not to show it to Newton, his hand trembles as he deposits an unopened pack of white socks into his laundry box. He thinks it may be the first time either of them have brought it up in the entirety of their time at the Academy. It’s certainly the first time either of them have admitted to even the slightest notion of a shared history since—a week into their first year here, at an ice-breaking event for their kaiju-science peers—Newton had rolled his eyes exaggeratedly when someone attempted to introduce him to Hermann and said “Yeah, Dr. Gottlieb and I go wayyyy back.” Hermann did not admit so at the time, but the use of the honorific in place of his first name had been unexpectedly wounding—ridiculous of him, considering he made a point of referring to Newton in precisely the same way. Perhaps that little slip of the tongue had been why they were assigned as roommates scarcely a week later. An assumed friendship.

Hermann picks up Newton’s thick eyeglasses and carefully slips them back onto Newton’s upside-down face. Newton wrinkles his nose when Hermann’s thumb accidentally brushes against its tip. “I just don’t like parties very much, Newton,” he says. He’s not sure when Dr. Geiszler became Newton to him, or rather, became Newton to him again.

“Then we can do something together here,” Newton says.

He sits up and pushes the sealed champagne bottle at Hermann’s chest. “This is for you, anyway. Graduation present. Bury the hatchet, you know—odds are pretty fucking high we’re never gonna see each other again, so there’s no use hating each other forever.”

In spite of his better judgement, Hermann takes the champagne bottle. One drink won’t hurt him. And anyway, it might be a little relaxing—so long as it’s one drink only, because he still has an entire two years’ worth of research to pack away in his laboratory desk. “Do you know where you’re being assigned already, then?” he says. He was under the impression they wouldn’t find out until after the ceremony tomorrow—bit last minute, he supposes, but it’s not as if they’re making their own travel arrangements, and nearly all of their colleagues have already brought their families along with them to the Academy base.

“Nah,” Newton says, “but I wrote down a lot on my request form.” He motions for Hermann to hand him back the bottle, and he begins unscrewing the wire holding down the cork. “Tokyo—Peru—" He moves the bottle away from the bed as he pops it open with a grunt of effort, and a small bit of foam spills to the cement floor. Hermann grits his teeth and tries not to worry about cleaning it up later. “—Los Angeles. I worked on one of my PhDs in California, you know, a few weeks one July. Sea sponges. I learned how to scuba dive, I loved it—I think that’s one of the first things I’m gonna do if—once this is all over.”

He looks strangely maudlin as Hermann pours himself some champagne into one of the plastic cups and suffers through a sip. Too sweet. Hermann’s never liked sweet wines—bloody awful hangovers the next day, if one isn’t careful.

“Their entire ecosystem would be destroyed now, I guess,” Newton says. “Kaiju blue poisoning.”

“Whose?” Hermann says.

“The sea sponges’,” Newton says.

Hermann sips more of the champagne so he won’t have to respond. “I requested Anchorage,” he offers. Among plenty others, but he knows Newton will get a kick out of ribbing him for the dreary Alaskan climate. It seems to work—Newton lights up at once with a loud snort.

“Of course you did, ya weirdo,” he says. “Have fun freezing your ass off.” He takes a sip right from his bottle, then holds it out to Hermann. “Well, Hermann—you were an annoying lab partner, an even more annoying roommate, but a decent penpal, and I’m—well, I’m not gonna miss you, but I guess I can’t say I hate everything about you. Good luck with the jaegers. Good luck to whoever gets stuck with you next, actually, yikes, don’t envy them! Here’s to never seeing each other again.”

Hermann rolls his eyes, but knocks his plastic cup against Newton’s bottle. “Best of luck to you, as well,” he says. “And here’s to—well, surviving.”

“That’s cheerful,” Newton says.

They drink to their toast. Down the hall, someone puts on loud music to a chorus of equally loud cheers. Hermann reckons that’ll be Newton’s party. “You ought to head over there,” he says, turning briefly to glance at their door, which Newton has left cracked open. “Otherwise, they’ll miss—”

Newton kisses him.

Hermann doesn’t necessarily kiss back, but he doesn’t push Newton away, either. He’s more bewildered than anything. He might’ve expected this sort of thing to happen years ago—years, and years ago, before that dreadful first meeting in some dingy little Berlin coffee shop, back when a new letter from Dr. Geiszler slipped through his mail slot could make his heart thud like nothing else—but they’ve hardly been anything to each other but colleagues these past two years. Not even quite colleagues—that implies a civility they don’t possess. Professional academic rivals. He was under the impression that the man hated him, that the data when they underwent standard tests for drift compatibility was merely a fluke.

His empty cup falls from his hand and clatters to the floor. Newton slides a hand up Hermann’s jaw and keeps kissing him; he makes a small, needy noise into Hermann’s mouth.

“Newton,” Hermann finally mumbles. “What are you doing?”

Newton pulls back. A brilliant red flush is creeping steadily across his face, and he opens and closes his mouth a few times before anything comes out. “Oh, shit,” he says. “I didn’t mean—”

He stumbles to his feet. “Shit, dude, I’m sorry, I like—”

“Newton?” Hermann repeats. He feels about as dazed as Newton looks; he’s not quite sure what he’s meant to say. His lips are tingling from the kiss. “I—?”

“I’m gonna go to the party,” Newton stammers. “Sorry, dude, I—misread signals? I guess? Um—” He steps on Hermann’s forgotten cup and skids slightly, catching and righting himself on one of Hermann’s bed posts. The movement knocks Hermann’s cane (hooked there) to the floor, and Newton must bend down twice before he succeeds in picking it up. “Just—um—okay, bye.”

Hermann stares at the door for a long time after Newton leaves. Tomorrow marks the end of their two years cohabitating and working together—as Newton said, odds are high their paths will never cross again. Hermann had been counting down the days to their graduation in a little calendar he keeps pinned neatly to his wall, daydreaming endlessly of the first thing he would do once he was free from the suffocating cloud of Newton Geiszler’s presence—daydreaming of the like-minded non-Geiszlerian colleagues he would meet at his Shatterdome assignment, of a neat and orderly laboratory devoid of kaiju residue over every communal surface, of his own living quarters. He should be excited. He should be ecstatic.

Hermann touches his mouth and feels nothing but strange sort of hollowness in his chest—a black hole enveloping all else.

---

He doesn’t see Newton until their graduation ceremony the next day, an affair made all the more awkward by the seating chart’s alphabetical arrangement ensuring Drs. Geiszler and Gottlieb will be knocking elbows for the full two hours. Newton is late by nearly twenty minutes, and rushes in with badly unkempt hair and a backwards tie: Hermann has a feeling he’d been lurking outside their quarters and waiting for Hermann to leave before he dared dart in to get himself ready. He wonders where Newton spent the night. He wonders why he even cares. Likely passed out on the rec room floor after the party, judging from the confetti stuck to his left cheek—or perhaps he’d finally made a move on the fellow kaiju-biologist Hermann recalls him extolling the physicality of on more than one occasion, and spent the night with him—or perhaps he did neither, and merely wandered the base for hours, sleep evading him as it’d so entirely evaded Hermann. They don’t acknowledge each other for the whole of the ceremony.

Hermann is summoned to the office of the jaeger science program head (a severe woman with short hair) later that evening, shortly after he finishes taping up his very last box of papers in the vacant laboratory. He’s handed a small manila folder containing the details of his Shatterdome assignment: Hong Kong, as it turns out. One of his requests. ��Since you and Dr. Newton Geiszler have displayed a strong work ethic when partnered together,” the woman begins, “as well as a very high level of drift compatibility—”

Hermann’s eyes snap up from his folder to her face.

“—we’ll be assigning him to Hong Kong’s kaiju science division along with you, under the assumption that together you will only continue to produce positive results.”

“Pardon?” Hermann says, weakly.

Newton has finished boxing up a majority of his belongings when Hermann drags himself through the door to their quarters an hour later. He glances at Hermann briefly, embarrassedly, and says, in a small voice, “Hey, Hermann.”

“Newton,” Hermann says.

He walks over and sits down heavily atop the pile of sheets on his stripped bed. Something pokes at his thigh, and he sets aside his cane to fumble through the sheet bundle to discover what: Newton’s forgotten neon shuttered shades. The sight of them sends his stomach twisting up in knots. “Oh, hey,” Newton says, as he wraps a Godzilla action figure with bubble wrap. He nods at the manila envelope clenched between Hermann’s fingers. “Where are they shipping you off to? I’m going to Hong Kong—should be cool. I’ve never been before.” He places the little Godzilla in a carboard box. Newt - Junk! the side says in purple Sharpie. “My flight leaves tomorrow afternoon—you’re right, I definitely should’ve started packing earlier, I have no idea how I’m gonna get this all done by then.”

Hermann stares at Newton in poorly-concealed amazement as he continues to ramble on about how to pack up his instruments and whether or not they’ll let him bring his first-ever kaiju sample with him (he’s attached to it, even though he knows it’s technically the academy’s property, but maybe he can find a way to smuggle it out in his checked bags or something). Does he not know? Did they not tell him? How could they let this fall on Hermann? “Newton,” he says, slowly. “I’ve been assigned to Hong Kong, too.”

Newton freezes. “No fucking way,” he says.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #Anonymous

42 notes · View notes

styleiswild · 3 years

Text

Interview with Beastie Boys for Machina magazine, 07/1998

By: Rafał Bryndal

Translation: Anna Bak ( @styleiswild )

-------------

Introduction: The party called Beastie Boys in Lisbon went on for two days. On the first day we (the journalists) were invited to the magical “Kremlin” club to listen to the new album [Hello Nasty]. I don’t think I have to explain how I felt knowing that I was possibly one of the first Polish people to listen to that phenomenal record. On the second day each of us got to meet the band in Hotel Ritz during the so-called “round-table.” It’s like a private conversation with the artists. It looks a bit like a coffee party at your aunt’s. (…) The whole meeting was just as absurd, in a positive way. The answers they gave us were often ironic, as one could expect.

R.B.: Don’t you think that being Beastie Boys is way cooler than being any other band in the world?

MCA: Unfortunately, we haven’t tried being a different band yet. So I can’t really answer your question.

Mike D: To be honest, there’s something to it. Maybe because we have so much fun working together. It’s not always fun, of course. We do work from time to time, but only sometimes.

R.B.: It seems like you work on your albums for fun and pleasure exclusively?

Mike D: I think it’s because we don’t release them that often.

Ad-Rock: Yes… Yes, you must be right, man.

MCA: Hey, we’d released Ill Communication after a two year break.

R.B.: Yeah, but this one took you four years.

MCA: Yeah, we had to level it out. It takes us three years most of the time.

R.B.: You grew up together. Are you always on such good terms with one another?

MCA: Sometimes there’ll be tripartite fights. Not sure you’ve ever seen what it looks like when three people fight each other. Each of them against the other two. That happens sometimes. Rarely, though. To be honest, we don’t really argue much.

R.B.: Your new album seems a bit like a departure from The In Sound from Way Out!

Mike D: Hello Nasty is a collection of a dozen or so songs, each of them stylistically different. That’s why you can’t really compare it to our previous releases. I guess, though, that at least two of the songs would’ve worked well as instrumentals on the previous album.

R.B.: How do you deal with the new technologies in music?

Mike D: Technology is present in all genres today and you can’t run from that. Music evolves largely thanks to the new technology. Especially hip hop music. We do it like the true rappers do, which means we start with a drum machine, then we put it on a loop, and then we use digital delay system. That’s one of the newest inventions. Technology is unpredictable, because people – who are its creators – have no clue about what the artists can do with it.

R.B.: Is it true what they say on the internet? That this album is the first one of the three that you’ve recorded lately?

MCA: You’ve really heard about that?

Mike D: Gosh, you can’t keep anything secret today.

Ad-Rock: Three? To be honest, we’ve got many more albums recorded.

Mike D: The last one of the three is a country album. The genre is so popular that you can’t really keep such a record a secret anymore. Especially when you’re in Manhattan and you walk around in a cowboy fit, it’s suspicious as hell. Because there aren’t many cowboys in Manhattan. People see a guy in a cowboy fit and assume that he has to be working on a country album.

R.B.: Is it really so important for your clothes to fit the style of your music?

MCA: You identify with your music more when you dress up. People often cheat, they wear clothes that don’t fit the music they play.

R.B.: So what kind of clothes did you guys wear when working on Hello Nasty?

MCA: I wore a bat girl costume.

Ad-Rock: I dressed up as a scared woman.

Mike D: I’d wear a bathing suit, because I wanted to go swimming all the time.

Ad-Rock: We couldn’t really find what we were looking for at first. We tried on a range of fits and finally found those that went well with our music.

R.B.: You’ve been popular with skateboarders. It’s a group of people who wear unique clothes and listen to a lot of your music, as it seems. Do you identify with this subculture?

MCA: I don’t think it’s just that one subculture. There are a few more we’d like to identify with.

Mike D: For me it’s long gone. Skateboarding isn’t much of an extreme or exclusive kind of sports discipline anymore. It’s become very popular.

R.B.: You’ve worked with Lee “Scratch” Perry on the new album. Can you tell me what kind of benefits did that bring you?

Mike D: It’s hard to say, but we’ve always been pretty impressed with his work on dub music. He’s also inspired Mario Caldato, our studio engineer. For me, Lee is an artist of science, a living fucking legend.

R.B.: Do you think that you can inspire young musicians?

MCA: Sure, but that’s a normal thing, right? If music is evolving as a part of culture, then everything and everyone inspires that process. We’re happy that we can be a part of that culture to some degree.

R.B.: A lot of white kids have gotten into rap music thanks to “Rhymin’ & Stealin’.” At least that’s what happened to me…

MCA: As a white kid… Right, it’s hard to be a black kid in Finland.

Mike D: We discovered hip hop when we were thirteen or fourteen. We’d go and see Public Enemy and bands like that. We were totally enchanted. It’s not that weird that kids who listen to us want to do the same thing.

R.B.: Some people say that you don’t like it when other artists sample your music. Some say that you’re more liberal, though.

MCA: It all depends on how the sample is used. If it’s creative, then we’re here for it. But if they go and copy our own ideas, and the whole track revolves around that idea, then we’re obviously pissed off.

R.B.: Are you as satisfied with making music as you’re with your magazine and your record label?

MCA: It’s all really about creating something new, publishing the mag, recording albums or playing gigs… We’re really into humanitarian work, too. Sure, the music is the most important thing of all. Nobody knows where it comes from, it’s hard to define the process of making music. It comes from subconsciousness.

R.B.: I’ve heard that you were to make a movie based on your “Sabotage” video?

Mike D: Unfortunately, that’s not true.

MCA: It doesn’t change the fact that we’re planning to make a movie…

R.B.: About what?

MCA: You can actually watch it in the cinema already, because Spice Girls had stolen our screenplay and made it their own.

R.B.: In the 80s there were a lot of humanitarian aids, like benefit concerts during which quite a lot of money got lost for a very simple reason. Those actions were organized on such a grand scale that it was nearly impossible to control the funds. Aren’t you scared that the same thing can happen to your organization?

MCA: Free Tibet is there to help people find out about the issue and educate them on it. The money that we get helps us organize the Tibetan Freedom Concerts. It’s not like those other actions from the past that were strictly about collecting funds.

R.B.: Do you believe that the bands you invite to play consider the gigs something more than simply another type of self-promotion?

MCA: I feel that most of those artists are really moved by the issue we’re trying to bring to people’s attention.

R.B.: You’re fighting for free Tibet, while recently it’s been 50 years since the State of Israel was formed. And Palestinians are fighting for their rights to be respected. Why have you taken on Tibet and not Palestine?

MCA: Tibetans’ fight is based on the idea of non-violence. It’s a peaceful fight. The contrast between the brutality of the Chinese government and that quiet fight of Tibetans does make an impression, and that’s why we’re popularizing the ideas behind the Tibetan struggle. We believe that the non-violent, peaceful act is the only logical way of dealing with the issue.

R.B.: Even if the peaceful fight ends up leading to the extinction of Tibetan culture?

MCA: The same thing will happen if Tibetans decide to use violence as a means to gain their freedom.

R.B.: Is it true that your music is banned in Hong Kong?

MCA: That’s right. We can’t play there. Our albums can’t be sold on their market. All of the bands playing for Milarepa are banned from performing in China.

R.B.: You’ve met Dalai Lama on several occasions. Does he like your music?

MCA: Dalai Lama doesn’t listen to pop music at all. Lots of bands give him their CDs. He takes them because he doesn’t want them to feel bad, but he won’t give them a listen.

Ad-Rock: That’s why he stores so many demos at home.

R.B. What is Dalai Lama like?

MCA: He’s fantastic. He’s a great role model, representing all of the values people associate with Tibetan culture, with Buddhism. He’s got great charisma. He oozes calmness that comes from the respect he has for everyone.

R.B. What’s his opinion on Tibetan Freedom Concert?

MCA: He thinks it’s an excellent way of spreading his word. For him, the concert is a kind of holiday.

R.B.: As far as I know, you have a slightly different view on the future of Tibet. He wants to negotiate with the Chinese government about Tibet’s legal right to autonomy in China, while you fight for total freedom for Tibet as a sovereign country. Is that true?

MCA: It’s related to his view on the type of fight. He’s so scared of any form of violence that he’s ready to negotiate with the Chinese government. He’s choosing the lesser of two evils, that’s what he’s doing. We’re in a completely different situation, though. As American citizens, we want to speak with our government about freedom for Tibet. We believe that Tibetans should be free and we want to encourage the government to take action to help Tibetans gain autonomy.

R.B.: The “Sabotage” music video was unique and quite shocking. Are your new clips going to be equally as original?

Ad-Rock: It’s gonna be some good shit.

MCA: We had lots of fun working on it. The “Sabotage” video had a lot to do with the song, though. Our new clips won’t have anything to do with the songs. They can be treated as independent short features. We plan to make a couple more totally different clips.

R.B.: You’ve been a band for so long that you must be best friends and not only, let’s say, collaborators. Can you please describe one another?

Mike D: Adam Horovitz is, to use basketball terminology, the play maker. He shows us how we’re supposed to play because he’s the one in charge of the balls. Sometimes he can’t score from a distance, though. Adam Yauch, on the other hand, is a very unusual power forward. His style is completely devoid of aggression, unlike Karl Malone’s. Or Charles Barkley’s. He can dull his opponent’s vigilance with his slow moves and get all the points.

Ad-Rock: Mike is an idiot and a thief. Yauch is a liar. I’m as cool as James Bond.

Mike D: Some people might say that we’re CSC. Crazy Sexy Cool. And that’s what we wanna be.

R.B.: Can you explain your record cover? You’re in a tin and you look like sardines.

Mike D: Doesn’t it sound pretty? “Sardine tin”? It’s almost like a big surprise. You open the tin and it turns out that people’s lives are similar to the life of sardines.

MCA: Maybe this album was recorded by sardines and you’re now talking to them? Who does know?

#beastie boys #mca #adam yauch #ad rock #adam horovitz #mike d #michael diamond #1998 #90s #hello nasty #hello nasty era #scans #interview #music interview #beastie boys interview #this is not an ‘official’ translation ofc #done it in my free time #my posts

29 notes · View notes

stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 3 years

Text

🙂 - ɟ

Hiii babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗 Here’s another post with the answers to the asks Mari sent me. Enjoy 🙃

Hi @sawwyouuinadream 👋🏼😄 I’ve already talked about how C exaggerated for the sake of the songs in my ‘💭- ɟ’ post (8th question) [click on the #f anon of this post to see all my others]. As for the rest, you need to understand the difference between our normal life and theirs, especially when they were in the group. You can’t compare your life and what you would do with your girlfriend in their place simply because they’re completely different things. Any parent of famous artists who gets the chance to spend time with their child when they can, seizes the opportunity. I saw it with 5H, I saw it and keep seeing it with Ari, I saw it in Taylor’s documentary, and many others. But not all artists have this luck.

5H were far from home, always around the world, without parents most of the time, and with fans who recognized them. Unlike the other parents who didn’t always have the opportunity to be with them because of work, the most present were Sinu, papa H (Jerry, Ally’s dad), and mama Dre (Andrea, Normani’s mom; as much as Sinu and continued as Sinu even after the hiatus). The only difference is that Camila suffers from depression and variants of OCD (diagnosed in 2015) and for these reasons, Sinu has always tried to be as present as possible. She only became a regular presence after C’s explosion in early September 2016. And, honestly? I don’t know where Camila would be without her mom. I don’t think she could have gotten through most of the things. I don’t think she would be in the industry anymore.

Now, I’d like to remind you of something else: we only see 5/10% of their lives. And that 5/10%, is ONLY what they want to show. You said that Sinu always accompanied C on dates? That’s not true. We saw Sinu with them a couple of times when they went shopping, once for dinner at Katsuya’s, and once at the beach in Australia. And these are literally only five times in what, four years that C was in 5H? Do you really think those were their only dates? Or that those can even be called dates and not just spending time with the mother-in-law? Come on. Try to look at it differently. Try to look at it from a broader perspective. Try to look at the big picture.

I send you a hug 🤗

No, dear Anon. Lauren was together with Camila. That whole conversation was based on Camila teasing Lauren. That episode was another confirmation for me regarding their first kiss. Lauren answering “Kind of” because Camila literally nearly passed out from nervousness is one of the things that amuses me the most.

Oh and, dear Anon? Bread Simplified, aka I don’t know what lips are, was just another one of her PRs. I don’t know how this is still something to doubt about. 75/80% of all Hollywood couples are fake, and as I said earlier, we only see 5/10% of what they want to show us about their lives. I’ve said this before and will write it again: “Any PR relationship involving Camren is simply this: fake, and for publicity and narrative purposes”. Real relationships, dear Anon, are not public ones. They’re the ones we don’t see.

I’m still a little bit confused about your ask actually if I have to be honest, dear Anon. I’ll answer based on what I understood.

None of the five of them are with Syco Music anymore because it has integrated with Sony Music Entertainment and therefore doesn’t exist anymore.

Only Camila and Lauren are with Syco Entertainment simply because only the two of them were asked to sign. Simon never cared about the group per se. He wanted Lauren and Camila from the start and he got them. He created an opportunity to prepare them for that world and for their eventual solo careers. How? By creating 5H. By creating three products (C, L, and 5H) at once that would make him money.

Because, dear Anon, as twisted as it sounds, it’s part of their publicity. I’ll explain myself better. Camren sells. From the beginning. A large part of the 5H fans became their fans BECAUSE of Camren. The labels still use them when needed. For labels, it’s okay to get people talking. It’s okay to get them to speculate, take their name out there, create buzz, create gossip, everything’s okay, EXCEPT confirming it. The important thing is the publicity. The important thing is to sell what they want to sell, and many times, they use Camren to do it. And it works. It works EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Plus, I think both C&L also had fun doing it to “keep the boat afloat”. More in the past than now tho.

I know about the rest of the pictures because it was said a while back by a guy who said he was yet another ‘insider’, dear Anon. This guy even published an email that was supposed to be from 2017 from TMZ to Roger in which they were supposed to have a meeting to discuss the extension of the agreement made not to publish the dossier. It’s actually old news, and it indeed seems strange to me that you’re only finding out now 🙃 Has anyone ever talked about it here on Tumblr?

But anyway. That he was an insider, I have my serious doubts. That the email picture was specially created, perhaps by him himself, I’m sure of it because it looks more fake than a plastic flower. That TMZ actually has a dossier on them, is very likely because this is another one of the many ways paparazzi agencies make money.

Dear Anon, I guess this ask of yours is due to your reading of my last post. If you’ve read it, then you have also read the sentence that I will now copy: “Everyone’s ready to point the finger when they don’t even know what is really going on behind the scenes”. You’re doing the same thing. You’re doing the same thing because all I see here is Roger did this and Roger did that, but you don’t know that. You don’t know why he did certain things. You don’t know why he didn’t do certain things. You don’t know why he handled some things in one way and some things in another. You know nothing, yet you’re pointing the finger.

I understand that you’re speaking based on what you see, believe me, I understand, but you’re judging without knowing. We know this PR is for Skittles, so what do you know if the deals made were exactly for Roger to promote him more? What do you know if the deals made were exactly for Roger to do or not do certain things? And more importantly, what do you know that Roger no longer has Camila’s best interests at heart? Just because of this show? Come on!

I’ll try to be clearer this time because I’ve noticed that many, like you, didn’t get the big picture of my last post. The labels decide everything. Camila can choose certain things, propose ideas, and be more liberally creative, but she doesn’t have the last word. If Camila comes up with the idea for a video she wants to make, but the labels don’t like it, then she can’t make that video. If Camila wants to perform a song in a certain way, but the labels don’t approve of a thing, then Camila has to change that thing in order to perform it. If the labels say no, then it’s no. Periodt.

Camila accepted the PR. COVID has changed things. She couldn’t expect such a thing. Hell, none of us could have expected a worldwide pandemic. But things turned out this way, and now she’s miserable. The choice she had initially made has backfired on her, and there’s nothing she can do to change that because it’s a legally binding contract. Neither she nor Roger, whom I remind you is also an attorney, can do anything about it.

I made this little scene for you. I hope that with this, you’ll see things a little more clearly.

*During the meeting*

“And that’s the idea” Roger says as Simon continues to look at the various set designs and documents by nodding

“So.. what do you think?” Camila asks anxiously and with a small hopeful smile

“I think we only need to change a couple of things, but for the rest, everything’s fine” Simon replies

“Really?” Camila asks excitedly

“Yes, really” Simon replies with a chuckle due to her enthusiasm “Good job, Camilla”

“Yay!” Camila cheers towards Roger. She’s too happy to care about the cringe due to the mispronunciation of her name. She’s used to hearing him call her that for years now.

“What are the changes you were referring to?” Roger asks him

“Oh, you know, this and this” Simon replies, turning the set designs towards them “It’s a little too…” “Gay?” Camila asks with a laugh, finishing his sentence

“We knew, but she wanted to try anyway” Roger says, indicating Camila with his palm “So, by changing those two things, we’re ready to go? We’re gonna shoot the video in a week”

“Yes, I approve. Everything’s all right” Simon says, handing the set designs back

“Thanks, Simon” Camila says, getting up together with Roger ready to leave the room

“Oh and, Camilla? Remember what we talked about” Simon tells her as soon as she gets to the door

“But-” “Remember what we agreed on” Simon says, interrupting her

With a sigh, Camila nods and turns to look at Roger who smiles at her sympathetically. With another sigh, this time of acceptance and determination, Camila positions herself behind Roger, who’s bending his knees to get down and is bringing his torso forward.

“Um.. what exactly are you two doing?” Simon asks, confused and curious at the same time

“When you tell me to jump, I ask you ‘how high?’, right?” Camila answers him as she climbs on Roger’s back

Simon nods with an even more puzzled expression.

“I’m helping her jump from higher” Roger explains to him

*the end*

This is just a silly example, but I hope it helped you understand the dynamics better. I also copied and pasted another piece of my previous post as a reminder: “If Roger does certain things that you may not like at first glance, before accusing him, please wait. Wait till you see why he’s doing what he’s doing, and then if you really don’t like it, then point the finger. But if you have to do it for no good reason, then don’t. You’d only going to look worse after. Same thing for Camila. They have a reason for doing what they do, so just wait before speaking and judging.”

Have a great day too, dear 😊

I don’t think you’re gonna like my analysis, dear Anon, but you asked for it, so here it is.

I’d like to start by saying that Thinkin’ Bout One is a half-demo. It’s not a completed song and it’s from ‘The Hurting. The Healing. The Loving.’ era, so even before the album title changed to ‘Camila’. I’m talking about the very beginning. When Havana wasn’t even remotely ready to be complete, or recorded if that’s why. When I Have Questions had just been recorded or was about to be recorded. I’m talking about the end of 2016.

The demo is pretty messed up because there is no intro, verses, pre-chorus, chorus, etc., like in a normal song. The quality and the way the demo is structured reminds me a lot of the GarageBand Camila times. To be honest, I think that’s how it was recorded. I think Camila created the demo on her own and then she abandoned it once she started recording other songs that would adapt and fit in the true direction of the album.

The reason I said I don’t think you’re gonna like my analysis is because this song, it’s not about Lauren. I have reason to think this song is for someone else, but without dwelling on that, I’ll explain why in my opinion it’s not about Lauren through my interpretation.

“Where you at

Come baby show me where you at

Finally got time off work

Tryina disappear off the map with ya

What’s love gotta do with it

This my vacation time

Bathin suits and tan line

Thirst trap for your timeline”

Camila is asking this somebody where they are. Camila was still working with Lauren in 2016. She knew where Lauren was because she was with her, this somebody wasn’t. She’s asking them to meet and spend those days she had free together. She’s asking them to go together to a place where they could be off the radar. A place with a warm climate. And she’s not asking them to see it as a romantic getaway, but just as a vacation. Love was the last of her thoughts given what she was going through with Lauren that year.

“Num num num num num

Pass the henny not the rum

I go num num num num num

If I decide to give you sum

Talkin talkin talkin

All this time that we been rockin

Hey”

“Sip a lil this

Sip a little that

Now this ain’t nothin but a fact

I need you come and take control”

This vacation that Camila proposes also included alcohol and other activities, if you know what I mean. I’ll explain the slang she uses here to indicate those two very things.

In case you didn’t know, num is the slang for making out. Henny is the slang for Hennessy, which is a brand of cognac. It’s used a lot together with coke for a simple two-ingredient cocktail, and indeed, Camila specifies that she prefers henny over rum (rum and coke) in her simple two-ingredient cocktail. Sum is the slang for some. Now that you know, I believe you can put the pieces together and better understand the puns she used here.

And that’s all. There’s nothing about Lauren for me. There’s nothing deep about it. Just another distraction. And for me, for my timeline, this event happened during the 7/27 tour break. The break that lasted from July 6 to 26 before starting the North American part.

Hello to you too dear Anon 😄 No, I personally don’t think those scenes represent her experiences exactly as they happened. I think she and Dave (Meyers) represented her experience in a cinematic and straight way, but with symbols that represented Lauren.

For example, the fact that Dylan plays the piano is to represent an artist, aka music, aka Lauren. The flower on the back of his shirt in the kiss scene: Lauren. The book’s scene you mentioned? The scene is represented in winter with snow, yet in her memory, they’re both represented dressed in a light way, aka ‘In Miami, where winters are hot’ (Sangria Wine’s verse 2) [or even in L.A. since the winter climate is much more similar to the spring one]. They both like to read, so the book was a perfect clue. Alcohol and fights were represented in a much stronger way than I think they happened in reality because we all know that Lauren is not a violent person. The moon? There’s not even the need to explain it. Oh and, the fact that she’s holding hands with herself at the end of the video is also a representation of what we saw in the Havana music video. The “I do love you. But I love me more” that we saw there. With that scene at the end of the Consequences music video, Camila shows us that she has finally managed to love herself.

So dear Anon, to me, that video is just an artistic representation of how things went. And thanks. I hadn’t watched that video in a long time, but I went to re-watch it for you, so thank you, dear 🥰

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I’m done 😄 I hope I was helpful in this case too. As always, I’m available for those who have questions, so feel free to ask 😊 Thanks once again to you for asking me and Mari for making this exchange possible 😍

As usual, remember to be kind, to others and to yourself. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. I send you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗 I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️

___

This was awesome, thanks again F. BTW, the marks on the asks is a small detail I couldn’t erase but you can read them anyway, so sorry bout that.

#submission #f anon #anon #asks #answers #that small story with Simon

42 notes · View notes

taleofharrison · 3 years

Text

Sk8er Boy | Michael Clifford

Summary: based on sk8er boy by Avril Lavigne enogugh said

Warnings: kinda cliche

Requested: yes by an anon

Word Count: 1277

A/N: I have been trying to write stuff i have the ideas and i don’t know how to put them together and since this is one of my favorite songs ever this came out so naturally and I hope I can get back to writing soon anyways enjoy.

MASTERLIST HERE

The 6’1 guy dressed in all black clothes was drawing all the attention in the studio, you don’t expect to see a guy like that at a ballet class for sure, even him was surprised he stopped by at a ballet class but there he was, he just wanted to see you even for a moment.

Michael sighed; he knew he wouldn’t have a chance with you.

“Come on!” Calum brought him back to reality “you’ll be late for rehearsals.”

“Yeah…I-I’m on my way” he mumbled; his moment became longer without noticing.

The guys left almost at the same time you left the studio; you weren’t wearing your ballet clothes you were more than ready to go home and relax.

“Y/N! come on” your friend shouted, “what are you doing?”

“I thought I saw Michael” you said thought I could say hello but…”

“Y/N” she sighed “Michael again? You know that dude’s not good enough for you.”

“Why’s that?” you replied quite upset you were having this conversation again “you barely even know him you act as if he didn’t exist at school all the time.”

“But you know he always gets in trouble; he skips class most of the time” she reminded you “so it does feel as if he wasn’t there with us you deserve more than a bad boy.”

“He’s not a bad boy” you defended him “he happens to have different ambitions you know? He works hard to get his band to the next level.”

“You barely talk to him how do you know?” your friend fired back at you with your own argument “come on we gotta get home.”

The next school went as always with an empty space a couple rows in front of you that was Michael’s seat, he would always skip math class especially if it was the last class of the day or even ditch the whole day of school like he did today.

“Hey Y/N” Michael said approaching to you his skateboard under his hand. He had been waiting for you to come out of school.

“Michael” you exclaimed suddenly feeling flustered, he was actually talking to you “you know school’s over now.”

He laughed at your small remark “Just wanted to see you. Can I walk you home?”

“Y/N” your best friend called you out making you roll your eyes “what are you doing we need to...”

“Sorry Y/BF/N” you interrupted her “I wanna talk with Michael.”

“Are you insane?” she questioned you again “he-

“He offered to walk me home” you finished “and to be honest I’m tired of you talking shit about him all the time. I’m going to spend some time with him you can walk home on your own, I guess.”

“You’re gonna regret that” she spat “have fun with mister drop-out.”

“Sorry about that” you quickly apologized to Mike.

“No! don’t worry about that, happens all the time” he shrugged “nobody really believes in me.”

“Well, they should” you assured him “I’ve seen your band you got what it takes to go far.”

“You really think so?”

“Know so” you smiled “so about walking me home?”

“I’d love to walk you home” he smiled back.

Michael made you laughed and his heart skipped a beat both of you thought it was stupid not to talk to each other before and letting the nerves take over.

“I’ve seen you around the studio” you suddenly told him after a comfortable silence “where I take ballet.”

“I’m so sorry!” he quickly apologized “I don’t want you to see me as a creep or something it’s just that I didn’t know how to talk to you and…”

“Michael is okay” you laughed cutting his rambling “everybody at school knows I’m taking ballet plus it’s an open class people can stop by and take a seat and I also happen to know that your band practices near it so if you want to say hello one of these days you are more than welcome.”

“Ok I will” he sighed.

“This is my house” you told him “see you later boy.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The club was packed with people some of them fans of music only there to have a good time, others were important people looking for a new band to sign with their labels. This was the first big opportunity for Michael and his band, and you couldn’t have been prouder.

“5 minutes guys” a member of the staff told the guys.

“That’s my cue to leave” you said leaving Michael’s lap.

“No” he pulled your arm “stay with me until the last minute, please.”

You could tell he was nervous, his bandmates were too, but Michael was your boyfriend however you did your best to calm down their nerves.

“I have to get a good seat plus I’m sure you’re gonna kill it and you guys are going to get more than one record deal offer trust me” you assured the guys.

You quickly kissed Mike on his lips “see you later boy” and finally left his dressing room.

After the gig the guys had gotten at least 3 cards with different phone numbers to call they didn’t know which label to pick they were so excited and decided they would make a call on Monday.

“Told you guys you’d make it!” you exclaimed “I’m so happy and proud of all of you.”

Michael gave you a hug lifting you in the air making you giggled he loved you so much you were there at every rehearsal and defended him every time you could he was so grateful you were in his life.

“I’m gonna use the bathroom then we can go celebrate wherever you guys want.”

You left the guys still looking in disbelief at the cards and telephone numbers in their hands this was their someday.

“Michael”

“Y/BF/N what are you doing here?” he asked shocked it was clear she wasn’t fan of his or the band for that matter.

“Well, I found out you were going to play here” she said, “this is the biggest club in the city only special bands get to play here.”

“Yeah, it was a dream come true” he said not wanting to be rude.

“Was wondering if you would like to you know celebrate this with me tonight” she offered “how about we leave now?”

“I’m sorry but no” Michael replied, “you were so rude to me and my band from the start and I don’t want you to ruin our night.”

“Plus, Michael’s girlfriend is here” Luke added.

“Oh” she sounded disappointed “and that is?”

“Y/N” Michael answered with a smile you were coming back from the bathroom at the same time.

“Ready to go, babe” you said not acknowledging the girl in front of him at first.

“Y/N!” she exclaimed “you chose her?!”

Your now ex best friend was trying to flirt with him not that you were jealous you trusted Mike you found it ironic since she always thought so low of him.

“Yeah” Michael said as if it was obvious “I’ve had on crush on her for so long and she stood by me and the band from day one she saw all I could be even when even I didn’t see it.”

“Now if you excuse us, we are going to have a sleepover at my house to celebrate” he added “see you later girl.”

You giggle see you later was your thing and way to say goodbye to him.

“You guys sure don’t want to go partying?” you asked making trying to be sure.

“Yeah, I just want to be with my best mates and my favorite girl for the night.”

#5sos imagines #5sosfanfic #5sos fanfic #5sos imagine #5sos blurb #5sos blurbs #michael clifford imagine #michael clifford fanfic #michael clifford x reader #michael clifford imagines #michael clifford fluff #michael clifford blurbs #michael clifford blurb

24 notes · View notes

votederpycausemufins · 3 years

Text

Alright. another chapter. Last one had a lot of focus on Jrum, this time it’s Grum. and not only and I tagging @petrichormeraki, i’m also tagging @helleborusangel because i love their rambles and they deserve to be tagged.

When Jrum next fully woke up, Grum was nowhere to be seen. In his place, however, was someone currently doing their best to sit in a chair that was better fit for the bots. They were wearing a black cloak with white accents and a hood that hid most of their face. Based on Jrum’s readings, they were also nine and a half feet tall. There was also the fact that they were currently staring right at Jrum. “Uh… h-hello?”

“Hi! I’m glad to see you’re awake again!” Jrum instantly recognized the voice. Even though he had been low on battery most of the time, he could still recall it as the voice of the person who had helped him.

“Uh… hi. Thanks for helping me earlier… and stuff…”

“Oh it was no trouble! I was just surprised to find you and you didn’t look like you were doing so well so I of course was going to help!”

“Well thank you… I’m Jrum-” Jrum hesitated, almost saying the second half of his name, but decided against it. “-and uh… I guess you already met my brother Grum… What’s your name?”

“I’m BadBoyHalo, but most people just call me Bad. And wait, you said brother? Really? What was that about?”

Jrum looked away, finding the blanket of his bed and wrapping himself in it. “I don’t know. I guess he just hates me now. He just… he called me stupid because I’m only really good at redstone, and then he called what I like stupid and just said that I c-can’t do anything on m-my own a-and…”

“Hey, I’m sure whatever he was saying wasn’t true!”

“But part of it was… W-We’ve been here s-so long a-and our d-dads haven’t shown up. Dad should’ve f-found us already… but he hasn’t. G- My brother and I were… b-built… s-so maybe our dads just replaced us… and… th-they don’t… l-love us anymore.”

“Well, I haven’t known you very long and I think you’re okay. I’m sure if your dads think that, then they weren’t the best dads in the first place.”

Jrum nodded a little. Hearing someone say that about his dads sort of hurt, but he had sort of been thinking that way anyway. And now Grum acting like he was was just making everything feel worse. Obviously his brother didn’t like him, but also thought he couldn’t do anything by himself. So Jrum was just going to have to prove him wrong.

The younger bot lumped out of bed and went over to the chests where he had put all his resources. Trying to fit everything in his inventory was a little tricky, but if he left a few unnecessary items that he could get elsewhere or craft again later, he was able to grab everything. He then remembered the clay he had cooking earlier and ran over to the furnace, glad to see it full of bricks which he crafted into pots, leaving an extra brick that he hadn’t used in a chest.

Jrum had gotten so caught up in what he was doing, he had completely forgotten the guest until running into them. “Ah! I’m sorry! I forgot you were still here!”

“Aww, no. It’s alright. What are you doing?”

“My brother said he thinks I can’t do anything by myself, so I’m going to show him he’s wrong! I don’t need to build some fancy place like this! A box with windows works just as well! Who cares if he thinks it looks ugly! And… And I’ll fill it with redstone and plants! That’ll show him! He’ll come visit me and he’ll be sad he isn’t as cool as me!”

“Yeah! I’m sure that will show him.”

“In fact! I can move into the cave and live there!”

“Ye- wait, you mean where the Egg is?” Bad asked, confusing Jrum.

“Egg? You mean the big plant in the cave where you found me?”

“Yeah! That’s the egg! I’m guessing you like it?”

“Well, it is really pretty. And I dunno… it feels safe being near it.”

“Oh, I have got to show you to Ant. In fact, until you have a new place to stay, you can live with me for a bit!”

Jrum smiled. “You’d be okay with that?”

“Uh, yeah! I’m the one offering!”

“Then…” Jrum thought it over. Bad did seem really nice, and it could take a day to build his charger and home. And he really was offering. “I guess that sounds good!”

It was a little odd as they were leaving, Bad needing to hunch over to get through the doors and then continuing to walk that way as he took Jrum’s hand even though the little bot was perfectly fine with just holding onto his cloak. They didn’t get far before Jrum stopped them and instead held his arms up, something that was quickly interpreted and Jrum was lifted up into the air and into Bad’s arms, making the travel much quicker.

Grum watched as his brother was put back in bed by their guest. Even though he had built the place, the glares from the person were not fun to be around, especially because it seemed that whoever this was seemed to be slowly shifting into a more monstrous form from anger. So, not wanting to stay around, Grum stood up and grabbed some tools before leaving. Hopefully once he returned, they would be gone, possibly also with his brother.

He wanted to make sure he had supplies, so mining would be a good idea right now. The thing was, this place was obviously populated and likely devoid of resources. And if it was anything like [:)], then he would need to travel out a bit. It would be easy with elytra, but it wasn’t like there seemed to be a place to buy any, and if he was going to go get any, he would need at the very least some diamond gear.

With everyone being a bit of a mess, Grum walked down the main path, a sign labeling it the ‘Prime Path’. It seemed to lead all the way to a place with crafting tables making up the floor which Grum was trying his best to ignore. It wasn’t his build and he didn’t even have anything to replace it with on him at the moment. From there he went around a large castle and kept on going. And going. And going. He eventually ended up boating further until he found a pillager outpost. It didn’t look looted from what he could tell, so Grum made sure to get a bit of distance from it before making a small area of himself to start mining down at.

He wasn’t going to go that far, but then something caught Grum’s eye. A mountain. And not just any mountain. Grum tilted his back to look up at it, the land continuing skyward. This didn’t look natural. It wasn’t like he had much experience from places other than [:)], but this looked like it was from an exemplified world, not a regular one. And it piqued Grum’s interest. His mind was suddenly coming up with ideas for a mega base. He would need to make a path through the nether with how far out this was, but it wouldn’t be too terribly bad. Maybe it would be a city like how [:)] or [:)] made. Or possibly it could be reminiscent of his [:)]’s base. Perhaps something entirely new.

Grum was curious just how far up it really went. That would help him plan how it would look. So he started climbing. A large waterfall adorned the place which Grum used to get most of the way up, but from there it was mainly mining into the cliffside and placing blocks. When Grum finally reached the top, he paused to look at the skyline, shadows slowly growing longer in the evening. This was perfect. Jrum could keep the house for all he cared, - he cared he really did - this was where he was going to live. Perhaps he would make another starter base right… where the lodestone was?

Grum was surprised. Why was there a lodestone here of all places? Was it just someone marking this place down because they found it cool like him? But then why make a lodestone and not a map. You would likely remember the general direction and follow the map from there. Why waste netherite on this? Maybe it was some sort of minigame like [:)] would make? But there wasn’t anything else up here. Unless it was underground? Grum looked at the various statistics. It did look like there was some cave system below if the C value was correct. Perhaps that was it.

Grum started to staircase down. He nearly fell when it opened to a curve in the mountain where there was nothing below, making Grum use a water bucket and jumping into the water that flowed down. He looked around at the opening, still finding no sign of anything remarkable, before going to one of the faces of the cliff to continue going down.

Just before the stone broke, Grum paused. Stone, stone, more stone. It was like the entire cliff face was just stone. There wasn’t any granite or andesite or diorite. No coal ore patched on the wall. And it was pristine. There weren’t any pockets where those things would have been mined or cobble blocking those areas up. And the wall was perfectly flat. Compared to another cliff face a bit to Grum’s left which did have what was normally there, it was unnatural. And sure, the mountain in and of itself was unnatural, but this was even more so.

Grum realized it. This was what the lodestone was for. To guide someone here. Trick someone into looking above and not below. At a glance it would probably look natural enough, but Grum had noticed it. So he broke unto the wall. Right on the other side was a hollow area. Ahead was the natural land of the mountain with dirt, diorite and granite. The walls were lined with an almost unnecessary amount of torches. And right in the center of it all was a platform of blackstone and obsidian.

Grum stepped onto the platform and found there was a hole in the middle. The hole led down an obsidian tube that opened up to a cavern that went all the way down to bedrock based on the ground down there. Someone had filled in the gaps that would have been various types of stone and instead placed blackstone bricks and redstone lamps, giving an eerie vibe. And then, if Grum angled his head just right, he could see what looked to be giant posters featuring music discs.

The bot didn’t know what was down there, but based on the fact that it seemed to be some sort of redstone machine that was used to go up and down, someone was likely already down there. While he could use water, that would be extremely noticeable and by the time he reached the bottom, whoever was down there would be ready to attack or something. But there was one other way down.

Grum stepped back, making sure he was nine blocks away from the center of the hole. He then placed down a small tower of four scaffolding pieces on the block in front of him, climbing on top of it. He then started extending the scaffolding, until it was six blocks ahead, then seven, and finally the eighth piece was put down and the rest of the structure couldn’t hold it, leaving the piece to fall all the way to the bottom. Grum let two more pieces fall before breaking the rest of his scaffolding and putting it back in his inventory. Then he jumped into the hole.

Grum braced himself as he aimed for the scaffolding. If he missed, he would definitely take too much fall damage. If he didn’t catch the scaffolding right, it would be the safe fate. But Grum managed to grab onto the bamboo structure and slow himself down just enough that he was left unharmed.

Mentally, Grum took a sigh of relief before carefully breaking the scaffolding. He could hear someone moving around as well as- was that a cow? It sounded like it. And there was also the sound of a sheep. Grum started sneaking, slowly moving towards the noises. While this seemed to be a main room with a nether portal at the end between the disc posters, there was also a hallway which is where the sounds were coming from.

Once Grum had gotten close enough, he peeked around the corner. There were a number of empty item frames as singular fence posts. At the far end were the cow and sheep he had heard, penned up in some other fences. Then, placing what seemed to be a bucket with a fish in it into an item frame, was the admin.

Immediately Grum regretted breaking in. This was the admin’s base and he had broken in. He was definitely going to get in trouble for this. This guy wasn’t like [:)] and obviously it was supposed to be a secret, only available to those with a special compass. Grum thought about going back the way he came, but he was pretty sure he didn’t have enough scaffolding and the redstone elevator would be extremely loud. He could try booking it to the portal, but that risked going out in the open for the admin to see him.

Grum shook his head. It was the only option. Building up or breaking out were unlikely options as he didn’t know how far this place really went. But in the nether, the admin wouldn’t be able to see him, and it would just be a second or two he was in view. Grum took a few steps back to give himself just a little more time to build up speed. He started running and was watching the admin who looked extremely busy. There was no way Dream would be able to even turn in time to look, even if he did hear Grum. He was perfectly-

Blacklist check. Attempting Entry: Cubfan. Assigned roles: Hermittown member, Acknowledged associate family, Convex, Operator. Banned roles: Hermittown member. Acknowledged associate family. Continue blacklist.

Blacklist check activated. Increase displacement by 1%. Displacing. Displacement complete. Displacement at 42.5% total.

Grum was face first on the floor. Had he tripped? There wasn’t anything to trip on, the floor was perfectly flat. Grum started to look around to see if there had been any tripwires, but he didn’t see anything. Instead he saw the boots of someone’s armor. Slowly, Grum looked up and was face to face with the admin.

“How’d you manage to find this place?”

Grum was taken aback by the calm tone. The admin didn’t sound angry, just curious. “I… I was looking for a place to mine. I wanted to go far enough out that I knew I would find an unused area. I found a pillager outpost that hadn’t been looted, so I was going to start digging there. Then I noticed the large mountain. It looked like a cool place to build a base, so I was checking it out and found a lodestone. I started exploring more and found the entrance to this place. It wasn’t exactly hidden the best, but not the worst. If anyone was passing by, they wouldn’t have noticed it, but the moment you look closer it’s obvious.”

Dream nodded. “Obvious, how so?”

It was still in the calm level tone, making Grum wonder if maybe they were like [:)]. “The wall you built, I assume you’re the one who built it, to hide the entrance was entirely made of stone and too flat. I’m not a terraformer like bzzt, but even I could do better than that.”

“Like who?” The admin asked, and Grum answered again. Again the man asked for clarification and Grum assumed he wanted the full name.

“Like bzztbzzt. He’s bzzt bzzt with bzzt and bzzt bzzzzt.” Grum hoped that would be enough information.

“...I see. Well, I’m hoping you won’t tell anyone about this.”

“No. This seems to be a secret place of yours. While it’s not underneath anything, this still should fall under bzzt bzzt code.”

“Right…” The masked man replied slowly. He sounded confused, but Grum assumed that was because of the lack of context.

“Since I am here anyway, may I be allowed to know what this place is?”

“Yes. This is a bit of a vault. Everyone on this server has something they care about. I’m trying to gather the most important things and put them here.”

Grum nodded and looked at the walls. Empty item frames and fence posts were labeled with what was going to go there. Axe of Peace, shulker, bedrock, Enderchest, Squeeks - Grum paused at the iron bars labeled Skeppy, but seeing as how it was in the section of fence posts, that was likely for a creature that couldn’t be leaded.

“Maybe also a museum as well as a vault?” Grum asked. “Though I suppose if few people know about it, it would really just be a vault.”

“Correct. I don’t quite have one for everyone on the server yet, but it’s just a matter of time.”

Grum looked around. That was right. He and his brother were still rather new, so there was nothing labeled for them yet. Dream seemed to tell what he was thinking and spoke up. “You know, I’m sure you know yourself and your brother best. You probably know what should be put here, in case it ever needs protecting.”

Protecting. Of course. He was making a place no one would know about so that way if someone was worried about leaving something so special, they could take it to the admin who would hide it. It was a little strange since there was always the option of the enderchest, but then again, that likely wouldn’t apply for living creatures.

Grum watched as the admin shifted things around, making space right for either an item frame, or a post. He handed Grum some items, and then the bot felt like he was moving almost on autopilot. He wasn’t sure which to choose for his brother, so Grum placed two item frames right next to each other. Under one, he placed a sign with the label ‘Electric Razor’ and under the other was ‘Diamond Plush 1’. Then, Grum took a few steps to the side. He placed another item frame and sign combo and carefully wrote on the sigh before stepping back.

‘ᒲ⚍ᒲʖ𝙹 ⎓𝙹∷ ᒲᔑ||𝙹∷ ᓭ⍑╎∷ℸ ̣’ Wait. What? No, Grum knew he had written it down correctly. He broke the sign and tried again, but it was just the same. Was something broken? He broke one of the signs for Jrum’s items and tried there. No, it came out just fine. So Grum tried again. ‘ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᓭᒷ ᔑ∷ᒷリ'ℸ ̣ ᓭᔑ⎓ᒷ. ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ||'∷ᒷ ᓭℸ ̣ 𝙹ꖎᒷリ.’ And again. ‘↸𝙹リℸ ̣ ' ꖎᒷℸ ̣ ⍑╎ᒲ ꖌリ𝙹∴.’ And again! ‘ℸ ̣ ⚍∷リ ||𝙹⚍∷ᓭᒷꖎ⎓ 𝙹⎓⎓.’

Finally, Grum backed away to see something legible on the sign. ‘M4M shirt’. He wasn’t sure why it had been so hard to write just a few short words, but at least it finally worked.

“What’s M four M?” Dream asked, and Grum winced at realizing the admin had seen all that.

“Oh, it’s bzzt bzzt bzzt. It’s what I bzzt bzzzzt. Since my bzzt was bzzzt bzzzzzzt.”

“I see. I’m guessing that’s back at your base.”

Grum had no reason to lie. It was currently still with him. He hadn’t built an ender chest for it yet and was worried that it could get damaged if it were just left in a random chest. But for whatever reason, he didn’t say that. “Yeah, I put it in one of the chests. Hopefully Jrum won’t mess with it.”

The admin nodded. “Good to know. We could go pick it up to bring it here. We wouldn’t want it to get damaged or anything, now would we?”

Grum nodded and then followed the admin into the nether portal. They started walking in the direction of spawn, not really saying much, just making sure neither of them got killed by skeletons, ghasts or piglins. They were doing rather well, though the admin was managing to take care of most of the monsters himself. They finally got to a bit of a safe clearing to pause and rest for a bit, Grum mining up some nearby quartz for a snack, when Dream seemed ready to strike up a conversation.

“Oh, hey Grumbot?”

“I’d prefer just Grum, but yes?”

“How many minutes do you think it’s been since we entered the nether?”

Grum paused, calculating their speed and their starting and current coordinated. He adjusted for the fact that there was no way to just go straight in the nether, and then he had his answer. “At this point it’s been around seven or eight minutes. Why do you ask?”

“Iskall.”

And Grum passed out.

When he next came to, the bot was back at home in bed and charging. He racked his brain to remember what happened and remembered meeting with Dream. They had just started into the nether when it all went dark. Based on his current situation, Dream must have-

Blacklist check. Attempting Entry: GoodtimeswithScar. Assigned roles: Hermittown member, Acknowledged associate family, Convex. Banned roles: Hermittown member. Acknowledged associate family. Continue blacklist.

Blacklist check activated. Increase displacement by .5%. Displacing. Displacement complete. Displacement at 43% total.

-taken Grum back home after he powered off. Grum hadn’t been paying attention to his power level, but he must have gotten distracted by the odd place. He had probably used a lot of his charge getting out that far, and it wasn’t like he had filled his battery recently with Jrum having been using it. And now he was very much completely charged based on his full battery level and the fact he half felt like he was vibrating. Well, at the very least, now seemed like a good time to finish up the starter base. Grum put away his tools and pulled out his blocks, climbing into the roof and working on building it. Night wasn’t the best time to be working, but it wasn’t like Grum could really sleep through it, so he made sure to bow down any mobs giving him trouble.

Grum was glad when it was finally finished, and he was surprisingly down to 67% already. He supposed he lost track of time, but the moon in the sky told him otherwise. Grum climbed down from the roof and went inside to put his things away before sitting on his bed and opening his task manager. System of course was open. If it weren’t he would be off. Status was also on, allowing him to see his health and whatnot. Microphones speakers and cameras were also there of course, those letting him to hear and speak and look around. But then two programs he didn’t recognize caught his eye as well as one that normally was never open.

DSMP Console was a new one, obvious from its name. Grum wasn’t extremely surprised at that. It was probably just something from this world, that was all. There were however sub programs on it, which Grum looked into. Those were much more surprising. Time Displacement, Blacklist Check, Blacklist Roles, Lives Count, Player Coordinates, the list went on surprisingly long. There were so many sub programs, Grum was more surprised his battery wasn’t lower.

Grum attempted to close some of the sub programs, but they immediately turned themselves back on. He almost attempted to close the main program, but for a moment, he was scared. What if something on that huge list was extremely essential, and if he closed it, it would break or kill him. So reluctantly, Grum decided against it.

Grum stopped looking at the list of sub programs for the first main program to instead look at the third. That was the QHHBP combat program. That didn’t really make sense to have open at this time, but possibly it was from all the mobs outside, so he forced it closed, immediately finding himself relaxing a bit, not realizing how tense he had been moments ago.

Then, the last of the three files. The second one he hadn’t seen before. The third program vaguely made sense. The first was new, but again, the name made sense other than the sub programs, but this was almost entirely new. KGADOOHM. That was it. That was the name. KGADOOHM. He knew his [:)] had made the K[:)]OO[:)]R, but what was this supposed to stand for? Keep [:)] and… something… out of… something my? But that didn’t make any sense. The M would likely be something else, but there were so many other options for the letter M. Plus what was the letter D for? The A could even stand for something other than ‘and’ in the long run.

Grum started to think of ideas, but then realized there were also sub programs for that. Password Check, HM Folder, and HJTHJ. Great, another jumble of letters he didn’t know the meaning to. Grum flopped onto his back, closing the task manager. What was all this? The DSMP program he could see showing up when they arrived, but how long had that other program been there. And what did it mean?

Blacklist check. Attempting Entry: CatType:9,Invulnerable:1,CustomName:"\"Jellie\"". Assigned roles: Hermittown member, Acknowledged associate family, Convex, Higher Being of Unknown Origin. Banned roles: Hermittown member. Acknowledged associate family. Continue blacklist.

Blacklist check activated. Increase displacement by 2%. Displacing. Displacement complete. Displacement at 45% total.

Grum paused. He had just zoned out, didn’t he? He quickly opened task manager back up, just in time to see the power and memory usage dropping for the DSMP Console program. He wasn’t quick enough to look into the sub programs and see what had been used, but it was still new information.

The bot quickly got back up from his bed and started looking around. It took a bit, but he was able to find some sugarcane and a piece of leather for a book. A feather was also easy to find, but Grum had to go out and find a squid for an ink sac. As soon as it was all put together, Grum started writing in the book. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but just to be safe, putting things in physical form could help. Especially if he needed to quickly share with anyone.

Once everything was written down for now, Grum fanned the ink with his hand to quickly dry it, then closed it up and put it in the special part of his inventory. There were five slots there for his [:)] program, though one needed to be kept open for a diamond. Currently though, there was only one other thing there. His [:)] shirt.

For a moment, Grum’s mind was back in the vault, putting those signs up. Sure, the items could be there, but now he and Jrum knew that it was the safest place of all. It wasn’t an ender chest, which you couldn’t always access, and it wasn’t a regular inventory, so the items wouldn’t drop upon death. Grum was going to figure out what was going on. No matter how long it took.

#hermit!tommy au #hermit!tommy #jrumbot #badboyhalo #grumbot #dreamwastaken #still not a fan of how dream's persona eminates someone... problematic

16 notes · View notes

machine-gun-casie · 4 years

Text

Radio Interview

you just love talking about your boyfriend, machine gun kelly, and zach sang is not complaining.

a/n: if yall havent seen zach sang’s stuff on youtube i definitely recommend you do so, he is so lovely and such a good interviewer.

also thankyou so much to @harringtonstudios for reading it for me and @fandom-central27 deserves some credit for helping me brainstorm and make this fic sooo much longer than it was going to be in the first place

wc: 4.6k

“Hello! Welcome to the Zach Sang show! Today I have with me the oh so lovely y/n l/n. Thank you for coming.” Zach introduced you, officially starting the radio broadcast.

You smiled and leaned back on the couch. “Thank you for having me. You’ve got such a comfy studio, man. It’s so great. A bit chilly though, wish I brought a blanket.” You laughed, shivering a little. The place was so comfy, bean bags everywhere. They had you and your mic set up on a really nice gray couch.

“Yeah, the ac’s been going crazy. We’ll get you a blanket though.” Zach motioned to someone outside of the studio.

"No it’s alright.” As soon as the words left your mouth, an assistant entered with a fluffy white blanket. “You know what, I can’t really say no to that.” You laughed.

“Alright, now that we’re all wrapped up and cozy. Hey, how are you?” Zach smiled warmly, his bubbly personality shining through instantly.

“I’m really really good, thank you for asking. I’ve been in a really good place recently. How about you?”

Zach sighed and rolled his eyes. “You know, going through some stuff. But it’s all good. If things aren’t meant to be, they aren’t meant to be.”

“Oh no.” You frowned. “You got some relationship trouble, huh? Yeah, my philosophy is the same, to be honest. Can’t force something that isn’t in the cards for you.”

“I agree one hundred percent. But you gotta have some good relationship advice for me. I mean, your relationship seems to be flourishing.” Zach smiled. You felt the blood rushing to your cheeks. Everyone knew it was going to come to this. You wouldn’t even be surprised if the whole interview was going to be about this.

“Maybe.” You smiled, hands coming up to hide your blushing face.

“Oh come on now, you’re definitely not this shy on your socials.” Zach teased.

“Yeah, but that’s different, man. That’s not like, face to face. Do we really gotta talk about this?” Your nervous laughter made your comment light, letting the radio show host know you were kidding.

“You know we have to. You and Machine Gun Kelly. Who knew? Like, the biggest shock of the year so far.” Zach laughed. “You and him are so different. You’re like America’s pop sensation sweetheart right now. And he’s a rockstar!”

“I know! I thought no way would he even give me the time of the day!” You giggled.

“But I read that you were a big fan before even meeting him. Is that true?”

“Oh definitely! Most people look at me and my career and they immediately label me a pop fan, but it’s not true. I mean, I obviously love pop, but I can like other things too. I’ve been part of the EST family for a while now.” You clarified.

“And EST, that’s Kelly’s fan base, is that correct?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Now, how the hell did y’all meet? It was so sudden for the rest of us. How could your paths have crossed?” Zach laughed.

“It’s kind of a long story...” You trailed off.

“And I am so very willing to listen.” Zach smiled. It wasn’t even like he was interviewing you, it was like he was your best friend and he wanted all the details.

“Well, a while ago, I was the musical guest on SNL.” You explained.

Zach’s eyes lit up. “Yes! I remember that, you were great. That was almost a year ago! Has this been going on for that long?”

“Kind of.” You shrugged, giggling. Zach rolled his eyes and continued.

“Anyways, you did uhh two songs at SNL, right? You did ‘Hold Me’ and what was the other one?”

“I did ‘Hold me’ and I did ‘PDA’. It was so much fun. I even got to be in one of the sketches, but like only in the background. Honestly a dream come true.” You gleamed. Having been a fan of SNL since your childhood, the statement was definitely true. But you might have been trying to steer the subject away a little and Zach caught on.

“Yes, and I don’t doubt that. But I wanna hear more about the love story.”

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” You laughed. “So, the week before the live show, as a guest star, you have to go to the writers. You only really go if you’re in the sketches, and I wasn’t really, but I begged them to go. I wanted to see the whole process. And I knew of Pete Davidson working there obviously.”

“And Pete is friends with Kelly, right?” Zach asks, clarifying the storyline in his head and for the listeners.

“Yeah, they’re insanely close. So I go into Pete’s office, right? And I know he’s friends with him obviously. So I try to casually mention that I’m a fan, not only of Colson, but also of Pete himself.” You laugh and Zach knows where it's going.

“Did the casual approach work out for you?” He laughs.

“I’m not quite sure.” You giggle. “I was super nervous and sweaty. I’m pretty sure I stuttered throughout the whole thing. But Pete is the coolest person ever and such a good friend that he was just excited I was a fan of Colson’s. So we started planning. He says he can try to put me in the back of a sketch wearing some merch for the new album.”

“And Hotel Diablo had just come out back then, right?”

“Yes, and I was super into it, but I didn’t have any merch. So Pete said he would hook me up.”

“Did you expect to be able to meet Kelly after this whole plan?”

“I honestly expected to leave with some new merch and that’s it.” You laughed. “But to my surprise, Colson came on the Saturday of. Pete had told him about me being a fan and he wanted to surprise me.”

“How surprised were you, on a scale of one to ten?”

“Like, one billion.” You gushed. “I don’t remember much of the encounter, but I remember him hugging me and I was definitely crying.”

“Oh yeah, I saw the video. Full on blubbering.” Zach laughed.

You gasped. “There’s a video? You have to send it to me. Anyways, his daughter was there too and she asked for a picture. I said okay, but I’m sure I looked so bad in it. Like, mascara all down my red cheeks. So I go home and Colson follows me back on Instagram the next day.”

“Did you slide into the dm’s?” Zach smirked.

“You know I did. I had to! But I was fully expecting to be ignored.”

“As one does.”

“Exactly. But he replied and we started chatting. It didn’t really feel real. Like texting him and stuff, I was chill. Because it felt so fake. At that point, I used to live in New York, so it was only really texting. We face-timed a few times, which also felt surreal. Then he came to New York to surprise me and I freaked. Seeing him in the flesh again brought back the same excitement.”

“At this point, was it official?”

“Not really, like we kept telling everyone we were just friends. And it hadn’t gotten to the press yet, and we wanted to keep it like that, so only close friends knew. But I was smitten. We both knew it was going somewhere, but we were being gentle with it.”

“Yeah, the concept of new relationships is so fragile. Sometimes you both want to dive in but you don’t know if you should.” Zach rationed, voicing his thoughts.

“That’s what it felt like, to be honest. But after that first stage, it just became so incredibly easy for us.”

“Not surprisingly, because you are known to be a complete romantic. I mean, all your songs and your whole aesthetic. Your album is literally called ‘Love Love’.” Zach chuckled. “Tell me about that, the process of naming the album and writing the songs and all that. How did you know it was going to focus directly on love?”

You let out a breath and tried to organize your thoughts to form proper words. “I’ve always been so in love with love, so I knew it just had to be centered around that. Like not just romantic love, even platonic love. Some of the songs, well most of the songs on the album, are about platonic love. I had never had a serious relationship until Colson really, so my understanding of romantic love was very minimal.”

“Really? I would have never guessed. The way you write about love seems like it comes from vast experience.”

“Yeah, it was experience in platonic love. In all of my friendships, I always put my all into it, which isn’t always right. But it’s just the way I am. So when a friendship ends, it truly feels like a heart break.”

“So your song ‘No Longer’ isn’t about a relationship?”

“No, it’s about a friend I had. A best friend, actually. We were so close, people actually thought we were dating. But something happened between us and it was so painful. I have so many songs written about that, but some are so specific that the person and what they did would no longer be secret. It wouldn’t be right, you know?”

“I completely understand, sometimes things are just for yourself.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“The song that most resonated with fans was ‘I’m (Not) Crying For You’. Did you know it was going to be this well loved?”

“Yeah, they went crazy over that one. I didn’t think it would be this popular at all. Since ‘PDA’ and ‘Hold Me’ were like the singles with the music videos, I thought those would be the hits if there were any. But yeah, people really loved ‘I’m (Not) Crying For You’.”

“Can you explain the song and what it means to you?”

“I would love to. As a teenager, whenever I would lose a friend, I would always turn to break up songs. I always felt like the lyrics depicting the end of a relationship worked with friendships as well, but it was annoying to me.”

“Why annoying?”

“Because they aren’t about friendships. They’re about relationships. And I did relate, but not to every line. Cause some lyrics would mention like marriage and sex and those things aren’t related to friendships. I didn’t like the fact that I had to pick and choose the lyrics that spoke to me.”

“So this song is for everyone. I love that.”

“Yeah, I tried to keep it as vague as possible so that anyone going through the end of something could relate. And with the end of anything, you always want to seem like you’re doing fine to the other person. Like, make them think that them leaving hasn’t affected you. So you know, I don’t want them to see me cry. But if they do, they should know that the tears aren’t for them, when in reality they are.”

“Yeah, I noticed that. It’s a great hype song, though. Like it has sad lyrics, but the beat and everything really makes it feel like it’s meant to get over someone.”

“Yeah, it is! I love hype songs where it’s like ‘Fuck you, I don’t need you anymore!’ I drew a lot of inspiration from songs like that.”

“What’s your hype song? Everyone has that one song after someone screws them over.”

“Mine is actually ‘The Break Up’ by Kells. I have every lyric to that song seared into my brain.” You laughed.

“Really?” Zach asked, raising his eyebrows and letting out a laugh.

“Yeah, I play it when I’m getting my makeup done before performances. Colson thought it was hilarious.”

“I think it’s adorable. Literally relationship goals.” Zach exclaimed. “Alright, another one of your songs that I love is ‘Tattoo’. That one just speaks to me.” Zach smiled, looking so incredibly genuine.

“Really?” You gleamed. “That’s one of my favorites. I just love tattoos, the idea of having something on your body forever is just so romantic to me. Not even matching tattoos or anything. Just the ink itself.”

“Me too! But you don’t have any, right?”

“I just got my first one!” You smiled. You got your first tattoo with Colson about a week prior. “Well, I actually got 2. Very small, though. Not really noticeable. I love those small one needle tattoos, I find them to be so pretty.”

“When did you get them done?” Zach asked. “Because I remember you once said in an interview that you had none.”

“Yeah, I got them a week ago with Colson.” You rolled your eyes as you could almost see the headlines. “Now everyone’s gonna be like ‘Machine Gun Kelly ruined me’ or something.”

“Obviously not, but yeah I know what you mean. Headlines and tabloids are just awful. But he has to have influenced you somehow, right. Two incredibly different personalities coming together. Are your personalities super different or is it just superficial?”

“Yes and no. Outwardly, we both have very different personalities. But when it comes down to it, I feel like we aren’t the same but we work well together. He makes me laugh and he helps me heal. Overall, he just makes me a better person. And he’s so impulsive at times and I feel like I need that.”

“How-how is he impulsive in ways that you need? How can impulsivity help a relationship?” Zach asked.

You hummed, looking at your hands. “I second guess a lot and then I regret it. Last week we were talking at like 3 in the morning about my song ‘Tattoo’, actually.” You motioned your hands to Zach because you were previously discussing the same thing. “He asked me why I didn’t have any if I loved them so much, and I didn’t have an answer. So he called over his artist the next day, and I definitely don’t regret what I got so far.”

Zach looked over at you, as if he was trying to find them and you laughed. “No, you can’t see them. I mean, I can show you?”

“Yes, please do.”

“I got one on my ribs, like on the side. I’ll show you a picture of that. And I got one on my head.” You explained as you took out your phone and looked through your camera roll.

“Woah, you went hard for your first tattoos!” Zach exclaimed. “Isn’t the pain worse the closer you are to the bone?”

“Yeah, yeah it is. It’s what I’ve read anyways. But they were quick, because like I said, they're very small. No shading or anything.” You found the picture and turned your phone to Zach. “I got ‘Love Love’ on my ribs, in the same font as the album cover, but super small. And the other one is under my hair. I had to shave a square off.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t show unless I pull my hair up at a specific place.” You turned and lifted your hair. “It’s ‘Hotel Diablo’ surrounded by a little border in Colson’s handwriting. He got the same one back when the album came out, in the same place too.”

“So they’re matching?”

“Yeah, he got ‘Love Love’, too. A lot of people online always say to never get matching tattoos, but I don’t really care. Even if it doesn’t work out, which I hope isn’t the case, ‘Hotel Diablo’ is one of my favorite albums and has helped me grow as a person. I just hope he doesn’t regret the one he got for me.” You laughed.

“Does he like your album? He doesn’t seem to be much of a pop guy.”

"He used to tease me when we first started talking about how he would never listen to it and all that. But he was actually like analyzing the songs.”

“No way! That is cute, relationship goals again! Man, you guys are unbelievable.”

“Yeah, he surprised me. But as a fellow artist and songwriter, he knew that he could probably find out a lot about me just through my songs.”

“And did he? Do you see him do something for you and you think ‘he did that because of this song or that song’?”

“Sometimes.” You ponder. “But he and I are just on the same wavelength, I feel. He takes one look at me and he knows what to do. It’s insane.” You chuckled.

“On the topic of songs, have you written any about him? Has he written anything about you?”

“Oh, I’ve definitely written about him. I’ve got like dozens. Shit, he doesn’t know that.” You realized. “Fuck, I hope he’s not listening. Anyways, I don’t think he’s written anything about me. When he’s high as fuck though, he freestyles about everything. He’s written a song about asking me to do some... things that I will not say on camera. He’s just always spittin’ fire. The talent that that man possesses is mind blowing.”

“Watching him come up with it must be incredible.”

You nodded your head vigorously. “One hundred percent. He’s got a home studio, and some days we just never leave that place. I don’t even need to be writing or recording anything, I just sit and watch him. I’ve been around many a songwriter in my time on this earth, but I’ve never seen one work like this man does.”

“Let me just say, you are absolutely glowing when you talk about him and your album.” Zach smiled.

“Thank you! Like I said, I’m in a really good place right now. This album really made me feel like I took a lot off my shoulders. Like I put all those emotions out there and they’re no longer weighing on me. And Colson… Well, Colson’s just Colson.” You smiled.

“Speaking of your boyfriend, I’m getting a message that he’s coming into the studio.” Zach said as he looked at his phone.

“What?” You asked, sitting up on the couch and looking towards the door. A few seconds later, your tall, lanky boyfriend walked in.

“Hey! Hope I’m not crashing or anything.” Colson smiled, jumping over the back of the couch to sit next to you.

“Well you kind of are. This is my interview. You said you’d pick me up when I was done.” You pouted.

“Don’t give me that cute ass pout. Thought I’d come a little earlier, besides you’ve been mainly talking about me.” He smirked, sending you a wink.

“That is very true.” Zach said. “She can’t stop, but I am not complaining.”

“Ugh, don’t encourage him.” You groaned playfully. “I’m never gonna hear the end of this.”

“Nope.” Colson agreed, excited to tease you about it later. “I’m sorry, Zach, for just crashing like this.”

“No, it’s alright! Make yourself at home. I’m sure everyone who’s tuned in is incredibly surprised. How are you, Machine Gun Kelly?”

“Kells is fine. I know the whole thing can be a mouthful.” Colson chuckled. “I’m doing great. Got a really inflated ego after hearing you guys praising me all morning.”

“We have been, haven’t we? But I would say that’s mostly y/n’s fault, to be honest.” Zach pointed at you, throwing you under the bus.

“Hey, don’t put it all on me! You asked the questions!” You exclaimed, laughing along. You turned to Colson and pulled him in closer. “Don’t listen to him, he just wants to get on your good side.”

Colson laughed and draped his arm around your shoulders, tucking you into his side. You reached out and placed the blanket over his legs as you cuddled into him. “It’s alright, if you were interviewing me, I would’ve done the same thing.”

“Now you guys are just making me jealous.” Zach scoffed. “So Kells, please tell us your side of the story of how you two met.”

“Alright, only two people know about this story. So this is incredibly valuable information.” Colson started out. You expected to be one of the two people, so you were shocked when he didn’t say your name. “Pete and my daughter.”

“What?” You exclaimed. “I’m in the story, how do I not know?”

“It’s before the SNL show, like when Pete told me about you. I never told you how that went down.”

“Oh my God, I’m all ears. Go ahead.” You said, turning to face Colson as he told the story.

“Alright, so I was in New York with my daughter that weekend. I had some business and I was going back home on Sunday, so I brought her along. We were already going to the SNL show before Pete told me about y/n. I knew she was performing, though.”

“You did?” You asked, eyes wide. He kept up with you before meeting you? “Sorry, sorry, continue.”

“Yeah, I did. Casie is a big fan of y/n and her music, so she was really excited about going. I had heard y/n’s songs before, you know on the radio and whenever I would drive with my daughter and she would put on her own music. So I knew the name, but I had never seen a picture of her. When Pete told me he wanted me to come and meet her, I looked her up.”

“Oh no.” You gasped, knowing that your general aesthetic would have probably deterred him from meeting you.

Colson looked back at you when he said his next sentence. “I was like ‘How can this adorable Disney princess looking chick be into my music?’ I couldn’t believe it.”

“Oh my God.” You groaned, bringing your hand up to cover your blushing face.

“No, I’m serious. But I couldn’t stop looking at pictures of her. I wanted to follow her, but I didn’t wanna ruin the surprise. My daughter was teasing me, telling me that I had to get her number during the show. I didn’t of course, like the idiot that I am. But I did follow her on Instagram the next day. Pete was smug the whole time, though.”

“Of course he would be.” You rolled your eyes and snorted. “But I mean, we have to thank him for all of this. Without him, we probably wouldn’t have met.”

“No, we would have. I was still going to go to the show. We would have seen each other and Casie would have still asked for a picture.” Colson said.

“True, but you and I both know we wouldn’t have talked beyond that. I would’ve been too nervous to say anything.” You replied.

“Oh yeah, definitely. I would have been too taken aback by your beauty to say anything either.” Colson nodded.

“Oh shut up!” You laughed, hitting his chest.

“And how did your daughter react to the blooming relationship?” Zach asked Colson.

“She’s usually like, indifferent about my relationships. But this time, she wanted all the updates. When I told her I would be flying back to New York a few weeks later to surprise y/n, she begged me to come with. But I had to leave her, you know?”

“Yeah, of course. Quality time with your S/O is rare when you have a kid.” Zach replied.

“Tell me about it! And then this crazy busy job, too. You’ve got no free time. I finally had a free week and I knew I had to go see this one or it wouldn’t have gone anywhere.” Colson said, pulling you closer when mentioning you.

“And did you, Colson, think you two were gonna end up together?” Zach asked.

“I was hoping so!” Colson laughed. “I was gonna hit her up, but she beat me to it. I was gonna try to get with her, but I didn’t think she would like me. But I’m so glad she did. Don’t know how I lived without her.” Colson looked into your eyes as he spoke, smiling like the love sick doofus that he is.

“Aw, now how long have you been together for? The world’s only known for about a month now, right?” Zach asked.

“Yeah, we posted on Instagram on the 29th of last month. So a little less than a month.” You said, looking at Colson for confirmation.

“Yeah, we waited for a long time. But we’ve been together going on 9 months now.” Colson said and you nodded.

“Woah, that’s crazy! How did you manage to keep it a secret for so long?” Zach wondered, as the length of the relationship was surprising.

“It was hard, I can tell you that.” You chuckled. “ Colson would always post about his ‘secret girlfriend’ and all that. Like, pictures of us holding hands and stuff. It was easy for him, he could just crop my face out. But for me, it was much harder.” You sighed.

“Oh my God, it would have been so hard with all his tattoos!” Zach exclaimed when he understood your struggle.

“Yeah, I got so many tattoos. Anyone could just look it up and find out. But she would post sometimes like, really strategic pictures. I was amazed at how she could do it. But it made it easier that people knew we were in a relationship to keep it a secret. Like, they knew I had a girl, but they didn’t know who it was.”

“Yeah, exactly. Like I just had to keep his name a secret, not the fact that I had a boyfriend. It wouldn’t have been a secret for too long if it was like that ‘cause I never shut up about him.” You laughed.

“Yes, I remember those cryptic tweets all the time. All the tabloids were about y/n l/n’s secret boyfriend.” Zach laughed.

“It was so funny watching everyone scramble trying to find out who he was. But I’m so glad we’re done with that now.” You sighed, placing your hand on Colson’s chest.

“So am I, we wouldn’t have had this interview if you guys didn’t go public. That was truly a fairytale kind of love story.” Zach sighed. “I loved talking to you guys so much.”

“Aw, thank you Zach. I can’t believe our time together has come to an end. I hope I didn’t bore you, we barely talked about the album.” You laughed. “This interview was more about Machine Gun Kelly than it was about me.”

“No, definitely not. I learned so much about you guys today. And about love as a whole.” Zach laughed. “Now I know what a loving and healthy relationship looks like. I hope we can have you here another time, y/n. And maybe have Kells come for an interview of his own?”

“Definitely, man. We can sort that out, I’ll tell my manager.” Colson nodded at Zach.

“I would love crashing that interview.” You joked, causing everyone to laugh. “But in all seriousness, you are so good at interviewing people, Zach. Just felt like a conversation with a lifelong friend.”

“Oh yeah, for sure.” Colson agreed. “Some interviewers feel too pushy and just overall fake. Not you, though.”

“Aww, you’re too nice. You guys were just really easy to talk to. Thank you for coming, y/n. And thank you for joining us, Kells.”

“Thank you for having us, it’s been so fun.” You answered.

“It definitely was, but unfortunately, we only have so much time. Thank you to our wonderful audience for tuning in. This has been an interview with y/n l/n and Machine Gun Kelly, and here’s a word from our sponsor.”

@bakerkells

#machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly fanfic #machine gun kelly x reader #machine gun kelly fluff #colson baker x reader #colson baker #colson baker fanfic #colson baker fluff #mgk #mgk fanfic #mgk fluff #mgk x reader #machine gun kelly one shot #machine gun kelly oneshot #machine gun kelly writing

585 notes · View notes

solocyclepolyamory · 3 years

Text

Who Am I?

I encountered a being once who promptly told me that if they were to count up all of their years of relationship experience it equaled their age. The concept turned on a burner located at the back of my brain stove that had been dormant far longer than I care to admit. I followed suit. I counted the years of my life I had spent in relationships and the number shocked me. If I were to present my data to you, I might seem like a person who knows a thing or two about successful relating. Yet here I am, still stumbling around in the dark, tripping over the ottoman.

I have tried many different flavors of polyamory throughout my life; some monogamy, too. However this is the first time that I am creating an intentional life where the title of this chapter does not have someone else’s name on it. If I look back over that data, that number of years spent relating to others in romantic ways, I can often recall where I was and what I was doing either by what I was wearing, or who I was dating. I can officially say that I am addicted.

From an early age, I felt committing myself and my sexual expression to one person to be a waste of my time. In high school I was dry humping anyone who would let me; girls, boys. . . the couch. I did not care that I was labelled in unflattering ways because I was having so much fun exploring myself (the people I was humping were having fun, too, for the record). I was purely and innocently selfish in my pursuit for self-discovery but I was also flirting with constant dopamine release. The pleasure centers in my brain were overactive and I lacked the tools and ability to understand that this euphoria was not being given to me by the people I was exploring with. No one told me that the pleasure that I was experiencing was a form of self-love, so I grew up seeking pleasure from my partners. This quickly spiraled into subconscious reinforcement that I was only worthy of pleasure when my partners felt like giving it to me. As you can guess, this also took all of the fun and satisfaction out of masterbation. I hope someday to return to loving myself sexually, the way I did back then.

The last three long-term, loving commitments I have been a part of have been echoes of my search of what I thought my life should be. I had a primary connection with a man and had a child with him in hopes of getting married and starting a family. It fell apart. Days after, I met a lovely human who I ended up marrying monogamously. We were together for six years. Although we loved one another fiercely, we couldn’t hear one another which left us both suffering. When things started to come to an end we tried to open up. It fell apart. Very soon after I met another tender being. I rebuilt my family with them and they brought play, music, and joy back to my home. I saw myself growing old with this person so we laid a sturdy foundation based on our connection being primary. We spoke the same language and we took care of one another. We did everything right. But when I fell in love with a secondary partner they changed their mind about wanting to be poly and It fell apart, too. Looking back on the last 12 years of my life I can see how I allowed each of these connections to determine my own self-worth. I can also see that when each of them left I let them take essential pieces of me with them.

I think about that a lot; changing your mind about polyamory. The more I think about it the more I know that it has never been an option for me. Monogamy has never led me to thrive and so I have always clung to this core belief that I am fundamentally poly. While I know this to be true, the scary thing is that I can now see how I have been relying on other people to breath the life back into me when everything goes dark. Just one more hit of dopamine, please, I’m in pain. I had been keeping myself so busy and intoxicated that I couldn’t see how I was violating my own needs and boundaries. I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for, I was simply looking to feel. Had I been chasing societal validation that entire time? Who says I need to be partnered to be happy? Successful? Worthy?

Boundaries: with others, but mostly with myself. I have torn myself down to the very tired base of my being. Here I have realized that when I truly listen to what I need, when everything goes dark, I know that I need to show up for myself. The pieces that I have always labelled as taken from me never went anywhere at all. They have been here the entire time, I have just been too loud and busy to notice. And that in itself is a sad realization.

I have grown to understand that I exist solely because I deserve to, and if I deserve to exist then I deserve to experience pleasure free from expectation. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to have orgasms whenever I want to and in no way does the experience of self-exploration hinge on my worth or depend on another to deliver. I deserve to say when, how, and if I engage in romantic experiences with others.

And I deserve to say no.

I say no to marriage. I say no to sharing a home. I say no to sharing finances. I say no to entanglement. I say no to the title of “partner”. I say no to time expectations and to shared schedules.

I also get to say yes. I say yes to choosing to spend time together. I say yes to holding space for another’s feelings and having the capacity to listen. I say yes to knowing where other people end and where I begin. I say yes to sweet romances, kisses, and snuggles. I say yes to running along beside people and feeling the joy that comes with being witness to their growth. And most of all, I say yes to me.

I encountered a being once who told me “time is art.”

My pot is boiling over.

#solocyclepolyamory #solo poly #polyamory #selfdiscovery #solo #love #expression #alone #together #enm #ethical non monogamy #exploration

8 notes · View notes

btsandvmin · 3 years

Note

hi i really love reading your posts!! thank you for taking your precious time to write about my favourite pair <3

ok my first ever question: (sorry if you’ve been asked this already). what do you think about jimin and jungkook having the most screen time in the memories of 2019 dvd? we’ve seen how close vmin were in 2019 but there was only a very very few vmin moments edited in the whole 10 hour dvd.. the longest vmin interaction being when jimin pointed out a mistake tae made on stage and tae basically said: i admit but don’t exaggerate it. from the lack of seeing vmin together on the dvd, i was thinking if a new army were to watch it, they’d think vmin aren’t as close and cute as jimin and jungkook. whereas they showed us jimin and jungkook rehearsing, goofing around, eating, arriving and leaving together in their car in every part. i understand jimin and jungkook like to spend time together but they could’ve shown us the other members a little more including vmin.. what are your thoughts?

First of all I do think we did get Vmin moments and that often perspective on these things can vary a lot just on how you experience something. Here is another person who thought we got a lot of Vmin in memories 2019 just as an example.

It’s a bit the same as with people calling Vmin dead despite everything we might get. And I think comparing is sadly a big factor in this. But once again, one ship having more or less moments shouldn’t be an indicator of their status or closeness as long as they clearly show signs of still being close. Which Vmin always have done. We should also remember that shippers spread moments and the amount you see things might make it feel like it’s even more than it is. I am not saying Ji/kook don’t have a lot of moments, but they might feel like even more than they are. If we compare maybe they have similar amounts of moments with less popular ships, like Jin/kook, but we don’t hear about it as much. (In memories I also think most of those 10 hours won’t be ship moments in general.)

I think for the most time when we see something it’s because that’s what the members are doing. We should also remember their individual personalities, and that some members might show up more simply becuse they spend more time doing fun things in front of the camera. I think Jimin, Jin and JK tend to get a lot more Bangtan Bomb time because they do “more interesting things” for example. Meanwhile Tae might be seen sitting on his phone in a corner or Namjoon might be resting etc.

I think using screen time to try an prove a ship won’t work on it’s own, but that screen time is a clear indicator of the bonds we see being genuine and that Ji/kook spend a lot together and are very close. But I don’t think lack of screen time definitely means the opposite. There can be many reasons we see more of various pairs. For example we also see a lot of Jin/kook, but their shippers aren’t as loud so we might not take note of it as much. We also get a lot of Vmin in other things like Bon Voyage, but that doesn’t mean that suddenly Ji/kook is dead. I really don’t think comparing is going to do anything good. I also think many ships get promoted in various ways, like being together for photoshoots or commercials etc. But for all we know they might partly get to choose themselves. Or it simply brings in good money to put some pairs together more etc. But even if there is a PR strategy or reason behind what we see, I doubt it has to do with a ship being real or not.

I think we see Ji/kook spend the most time together because they are together the most when they are surrounded by cameras. I think what we see is mostly what is happening. Because suggesting Big Hit editors are paying extra attention to any certain ship like showing them more or cutting away specific things based on only what members it involves would suggest an agenda. I recently talked about it in my post Can shipping turn into conspiracy theories? but once we start to question things being bent to deliberatly fool us it may allow us to take much bigger logical leaps. That’s how the narrative of Tae/kook being sepparated leads to them being more likely to also call other things fake or played up to hide tae/kook. If we add intention behind a moment we create a narrative, and in the end the more we assume and add beliefs into facts the further away we might end up from the actual truth.

My theory has always been that if a ship is real they would likely be careful and they might have their own reasons to act certain ways. Like Vmin seemingly being a bit nervous about being alone together. It’s still a theory of course, but I am always going to be much more careful with things that come from Big Hit and point it out as an agenda to create a certain image. For example saying Big Hit are forcing Vmin to stay apart or not do Vlives or put Ji/kook together more to “hide a ship with a ship”. Or even that moments in music videos are put there on purpose to either try to show a real ship or hide another etc.

For example if we assume the editors are cutting away Vmin on purpose I personally think we end up with a lot more problems. Like for how many people would know about Vmin? If editors and camera men and directors that might shift quite a lot all know to be careful about a certain ship, that is basically like outing them.

If there is video of them doing things “not fit for camera” that certainly means they aren’t very careful and would rely more on editing than just plainly being careful themselves. Which I personally see more signs of. If editors get instructions to treat one ship differently I personally think we would have much more rumors flying around. The more people know the harder a secret is to keep. So if there is a real couple in BTS I don’t expect general staff to know.

That’s also why I see it as more unlikely a real couple would openly live alone together, only share a car with each other or openly speak about being engaged etc. Of course this is all just me guessing as I am sure whatever strategy they might use could be very different depending on a lot of things. But at least looking at Vmin vs other ships there seems to be a carefulness in certain moments, and I think that has more to do with themselves rather than what Big Hit would force from them. Any relationship is basically a threat to BTS and their careers, of course they too would be aware of this. And I personally think they would put being careful above wanting people to know about them being a couple. At least watching Vmin and their personalities that’s what I think they would choose. Aka, not sending a lot of hidden signals for fans to pick up on. I think Tae might do it to some extent, only because he tends to get more frustrated and tend to sometimes express things even though he maybe shouldn’t. But even then it seems carefully done. Like the Christmas song to me was such a moment when he wanted to share his frustration. But the second time he mentioned it he didn’t mention Jimin at all. Or the way it took years for us to hear from Taehyung’s own mouth about 4 o’clock being partly about Jimin. I think they thread carefully not only with how they come across to fans, but also staff. That being said of course I do think that they can get away with a lot and that they probably are more comfortable when they know they aren’t being filmed or if there is an option to edit. I just don’t think most staff at Big Hit would know about a ship being real and work to present it in a certain way on purpose by order from Big Hit.

I think we see ji/kook together a lot because it’s easy and fun and comfortable. I am not saying they can’t be real, but I do ask why Vmin at the same time does seem to act careful and possibly even avoid certain things.

I don’t like to speculate about the moments we don’t get, because the reasons for why could be too many. For me I doubt the editors (and even less the captions) in BTS material are put there with an agenda. I think the editors view the material and pick what they might think is fun, though they likely also have their own bias and might be affected by what they see. For example I think Vmin being labeled as friends in captions has more to do with them and BTS calling them friends all the time which then editors pick up on and use.

Saying Vmin or any other ship is cut out to me opens a can of worms that lead down very dangerous paths. Paths we have seen other shippers walk. I also know that all ships have these “why are they the only ones edited out” or “why is this moment cut” agendas. Ji/kookers too say that we got to see Vmin and Tae/kook in bed in ITS but not Ji/kook because it would be “too much/obvious”.

I think we should go by what we see, but that we also shouldn’t make a big deal out of what we don’t see. So basically, seeing less Vmin won’t really change Vmin’s bond. That’s why I say looking at even small moments are a great indicator. We shouldn’t focus so much on amount, for any ship. But most importantly we shouldn’t assume amount is an indicator of Big Hit having an agenda.

Let’s say Vmin get cut out and the effect is people wondering if Vmin is fake. Why would they create this problem to begin with just to have Vmin release Friends which in turn make more people ship Vmin? To me it’s always too flippy floppy. Like why would Big HIt hide Tae/kook but then have them do the dance in DNA together or leave in other moments “just to keep interest up”.

Again, I try to not add reasons behind things we can’t know much about, but for me I think editing and cutting away moments from a ship as a strategy would be weird looking at the full picture of BTS and what we actually do get to see. I could be wrong, but I also know the slippery road I could end up on if I start to suspect Big Hit trying to fool us on purpuse on such a big scale. In the end that would basically mean anything could be real or fake, which is the point I sadly see some tae/kookers believe. They think tae/kook has been edited out and kept apart for years, and still won’t trust they simply might spend less time together even after ITS.

So, again, I think Vmin might act careful on their own to some degree, and I think Ji/kook and Jin/kook etc. like spending time togehter and also do things that are likely more interesting to show, like joke around or tease each other. Which then leads to more moments between them.

Thanks for the ask, and I hope you see what I am trying to say. I would have loved to see more Vmin, but we still got a lot of good moments if you ask me. Also, I am sorry for the messy state of this answer, but I will definitely talk about similar topics more in proper future posts. Thank you so much for liking my blog, and I hope you still do. 💜 (Also sorry for the late answer. )

#jimin #taehyung #vmin #vmin analysis #bts analysis #vmin editing #big hit agenda #my post #btsandvmin #btsandvmin ask #btsandvmin answer #bts memories of 2019

33 notes · View notes

homeformyheart · 3 years

Text

hopeless - m!raleigh carrera x mc (plat)

author’s note: i’m not sure if this fits into the same universe my other platinum fics take place in but i had fun with it. i hope you enjoy!

copyright: all characters owned by pixelberry studios. songs and lyrics owned by their respective creators. series/pairing: platinum – m!raleigh carrera x mc (cadence dorian); red carpet diaries cross-over – matt rodriguez x cadence dorian rating/warnings: 14+; swearing, descriptions of drinking, minor angst word count: 2.6k based on/prompt: “all you had to do was stay” by taylor swift / “secret love song pt ii” by little mix summary: news of cadence’s engagement makes raleigh and cadence revisit the way they left things.

hopeless

when cadence flew out to los angeles to secretly film music videos for her entire album, the last thing she expected was that she would get engaged. but here she was, in as private of a spot as one could find in the city of stars, with the matt rodriguez in front of her on one knee with a beautiful vintage-inspired octagonal diamond ring. no one was around except for a private photographer he hired so that they could control what made it to the press.

“cadence dorian, will you marry me?”

she knew what her answer should be. after all, her and raleigh had officially called it quits eight months ago. operative word being “officially.” it didn’t take long before she was introduced to matt when he was cast in her music video and raleigh’s label paired him off with some up-and-coming actress.

cadence fought to stay present and hoped that matt would think the tears forming in her eyes was because she was overwhelmed, when in reality, she was thinking back on the last time she spoke to raleigh.

6 months ago

“i don’t know if i can do this anymore,” cadence whispered. they had publicly broken up two months ago but were still carrying on in private whenever they could. “everytime i see you, a part of me dies a little more. all we have are these stolen moments, which won’t last once one of us has to go on tour again.”

those stolen moments included spending a few hours late at night in his bedroom a few nights a week, but whenever cadence struggled with feeling like she was a shameful secret, raleigh would cave and take her out as long as they both wore disguises. tonight was one such night and leave it to raleigh to find the one club in new york city that wouldn’t be packed with celebrities on a saturday night.

cadence saw raleigh’s grip on the steering wheel tighten as he drove them back to her apartment. her eyes welled up with tears and she let them fall down her face, ruining her makeup, as she sat silently in the passenger seat.

“don’t do this now, please. we had a nice time tonight, didn’t we?”

cadence pulled the long, curly-haired wig off her head and threw it onto the dash. “i want to hold you in the street, and kiss you on the dance floor. i should be able to shout it from the rooftops. why can’t it be like that?”

“cadence, you know it’s to protect you. you’re just starting out and i’m not going to ruin that for you… we— we can’t,” raleigh said, his throat tight and voice shaky as if he was afraid of where the conversation was going.

“i don’t want to live love like this. i don’t want to hide us away, constantly wondering if it will ever change,” cadence said sadly, drying her eyes with the back of her hands, ignoring the streaks of makeup now staining her skin.

raleigh pulled into the underground garage of her building and parked the car. he reached over to hold her hand in both of his and cadence felt a sob escape her.

“you mean the world to me, cadence. i want more than anything to show you off as my girlfriend, but we have to be careful for a while longer.” he gave her a dazzling smile, but she knew his heart wasn’t in it.

“i wish we could be like that, raleigh. but it’s obvious that it won’t happen and i can’t keep going on like this. i’m sorry,” cadence sobbed, pulling her hand from his and trying to take deep breaths to calm herself down.

cadence stepped out of the car and toward the elevators as raleigh looked on in stunned silence. she didn’t look back because she knew if she did, she’d want to run right back to him.

“cadence?”

she was brought back to the moment by the sound of matt’s voice and all she could do was nod and smile and let the rest of her tears “of joy” stream down her face as matt wrapped his arms around her and spun her around.

* * * * * raleigh looked out the window of his penthouse apartment with a glass of mezcal in his hand. against his better judgment, he scanned tabloid headlines earlier that day when a photo of cadence caught his eye. the photos made it look like she was cozying up to matt rodriguez in los angeles. raleigh prided himself on being around long enough in the industry that he could spot a tabloid relationship in two seconds, but there was something about how cadence looked in those photos that made him pause.

it was clear she was having fun and enjoying herself in the photos. he recognized the look on her face when she was mid-laugh and the cheek-hurting smile she had on reminded him of the beginning of their tabloid relationship over a year and a half ago now. but even back then, raleigh knew there was something special about cadence, something that he wanted to be real, something that made him blur the lines that defined his fake relationships in the past.

he looked at his watch and knew he needed to head out if he was going to make it to the event at a reasonable time. he knew cadence would be there and while he was fine with their recent game of avoiding each other at public events, he needed to run into her tonight. he gulped down the rest of his drink and walked out of his apartment. time to get some answers.

* * * * * his eyes zeroed in on cadence the second she walked into the room. she was wearing a gorgeous gold dress that no doubt was made for her given how it fit her every curve perfectly and showed off her shoulders and collarbone. raleigh felt his body temperature rise as he pictured ripping her hair out of its pinned updo and sucking at the sensitive spots on her neck and collarbone that he knew so well.

either he had been staring for too long or cadence sensed his presence because she looked over in his direction. they locked eyes and it was as if the entire room faded away; raleigh held her gaze, almost daring her to break eye contact first. which, she did, but not before she flashed him a look that he couldn’t quite place – apologetic? regret? embarrassment? whatever it was, it fled her features faster than he could blink. he wasn’t given any time to think about it as the tinkling sound of utensil against glass somehow seemed to drown out the conversations around him.

he looked around quickly and didn’t see any food so where the fuck did people get utensils? and more importantly, why didn’t he have a drink in his hand yet? not that he was eager to join in what was inevitably a toast to the couple of the hour.

“if i could have everyone’s attention,” the host of the party spoke over the din, smiling warmly. raleigh didn’t miss the way matt held out his arm toward cadence or the way she tucked hers into the crook of his elbow seamlessly while looking up at him with that beautiful smile radiating off her face.

“cadence and i want to thank all of you for coming out to celebrate our engagement.”

raleigh tuned matt out for the rest of the toast and looked at cadence incredulously. he glanced down at her hand that was wrapped around matt’s arm and could make out a glittering diamond ring on her finger. how had he not noticed that? and more importantly, how could cadence not have given him a heads up? he had assumed the relationship was for publicity and that somehow, when her career was more established, they would find their way back together.

he watched as cadence waved to the crowd before walking up the steps to the makeshift stage and seating herself behind the sleek black baby grand piano. raleigh was mostly sure that his jaw hadn’t dropped and his eyes hadn’t widened, but he was still too stunned to check.

“people like you always want back the love they gave away,” cadence started singing, her soulful voice ringing clearly through the speakers, “and people like me wanna believe you, when you say you’ve changed.”

raleigh had heard this song several times already, it was cadence’s number one single off her upcoming album, which he presumed had plenty of references to their relationship. but he didn’t care. the only thing he had ever truly wanted in his life besides his freedom from sunset skatepark was sitting up on that stage singing her heart out.

the room broke out into loud applause and cadence bowed before stepping off the stage. raleigh felt his feet propel him toward her and barely registered that he was standing in front of her until she looked up and said his name.

“raleigh?”

“can we talk?” he asked. she nodded and he followed her to a dressing room just outside the ballroom and locked the door behind him.

cadence crossed her arms and looked at him expectantly. “what did you want to talk about?”

raleigh gave her a long, scrutinizing look. “i guess congratulations are in order. i would’ve appreciated a heads up.”

“we’re not in a relationship anymore, raleigh, you made sure of that. i didn’t realize we still owed things to each other,” cadence snapped, eyes blazing.

“cadence, you know that’s not fair. you know i care about you and was trying to protect you,” raleigh hated that he was pleading.

“i didn’t ask you to protect me, i asked you to be with me. you had me in the palm of your hand, raleigh.”

raleigh’s fingers itched to reach out and hold her close to him, to have his body envelop hers in that way where she fit so naturally, it made you wonder if his body was made to hold hers. “i figured we’d end up together again, once your career was more established.”

cadence blinked in surprise and her eyes softened. raleigh had never given her any indication that he had thought that far ahead regarding their future, at least not seriously anyway. “oh, raleigh. i think it’s hopeless. we just weren’t meant to work out,” she sighed and walked past him to open the door.

“do you love him?” raleigh asked quietly. he glanced away once before looking at her, an almost imperceptible sign that gave away the fact that he was nervous. cadence knew this sign well and a sharp pain and sense of longing tugged at her heart.

“of course, i’m marrying him,” she replied, dropping her gaze. he was looking at her so intensely, she felt like he would see right through her. she turned around and walked out the door.

raleigh followed her and turned her back around to face him. “no, look me in the eye and tell me that you love him,” raleigh demanded firmly, grabbing her chin gently and lilting her face up so she was looking up at him.

“raleigh, i—”

“cadence, babe? there’s someone i want you to meet,” matt called out from behind her, cutting her off.

she gave her best apologetic look to raleigh and said, “i better go.”

as she turned around, he grabbed her hand gently and whispered in her ear, “you haven’t answered my question yet.”

cadence chose to ignore him as she followed matt to the other side of the room, toward his hollywood friends, all of whom she had met before. they ducked behind the group inconspicuously.

“are you okay? things looked a bit tense,” matt asked softly once he was sure that his friends were effectively blocking cadence from raleigh’s view.

5 months ago

“are you okay? you look a bit tense,” matt said, his tone friendly and free of judgment, which cadence appreciated.

“my publicist wants us to be in a fake relationship. i’m just tired of that sort of thing and thought she’d be a little more understanding since it hasn’t been that long since my last relationship ended.”

matt looked at her thoughtfully. “i gathered that most of the songs we filmed these music videos for were about at least one past relationship, but they were all about the same guy, weren’t they?”

cadence nodded, somewhat grateful that she was feeling too down to feel embarrassed that matt figured out she was still pining for raleigh.

“well, why don’t we try dating for real? it might help you move on and we’d still give our publicists the public relationship they want,” matt suggested. “and who knows? if everything goes well, we can even get engaged.”

cadence was surprised at the sincerity in matt’s voice. she tilted her head as she considered what he was really suggesting. “that would definitely catch everyone’s attention. okay, let’s do it.”

“i’m fine. mission accomplished,” she said, giving him a half-hearted smile.

“it’s not over until it’s over,” matt said, caressing his thumb over the diamond on her finger. “but maybe it’s time to make it official.”

cadence wrapped her arms around him and let herself be comforted by matt’s strong, warm body. “thanks matt. i’ll see you later.”

raleigh watched cadence make her way to the exit before following as quickly as he could. he meant it when he said he was going to get answers. by the time he made it outside, she was nowhere in sight. but he wasn’t going to give up. he flagged down the nearest cab and gave them instructions to her apartment.

when he arrived, he made his way to her unit and hesitated for a beat in front of her door. did he really want to do this? hear that she was in love with another man and was planning on marrying someone that was not him? did he no longer have a chance; was it really hopeless? raleigh lowered his hand briefly as he thought through a scenario where she was lost to him forever.

he let himself wallow for barely a minute before shaking his head angrily. cadence owed him a clear answer. and he at least owed her the truth about his feelings. he knocked twice and pressed his ear to the door. her apartment had a fairly thin door and he could only hear dead air. she probably hadn’t gotten home yet. raleigh took off his jacket and made himself comfortable on the floor. he would wait for however long it took.

cadence looked out the window of the cab as it approached raleigh’s brooklyn neighborhood. she felt a wave of nostalgia come over her at the familiar street lamps and buildings they passed. once they arrived, she quickly ducked inside the building and made her way to the elevator. there were two penthouse units on the top floor and cadence stood outside raleigh’s, suddenly wishing she had changed out of the ridiculous glittery gold dress and heels into something more casual. she steeled herself and held her chin up as she knocked on the door. after a beat, she knocked again, louder, just in case he left and went home after their brief interaction earlier than night. she hadn’t seen him leave the event and figured she might have to wait. she bunched up the skirt of her dress so she could sit on the fabric and took off her heels, sighing with relief. now all she had to do was wait.

* * * * * mentions: @raleigh-edward; @dulceghernandez; @thegreentwin; @kat-tia801; @otherworldlypresents; @brycesgirl; @robintora;

#reposting for new blog #choices platinum #choices #pb choices #playchoices #choices fanfic #choices fanfics #playchoices fanfictin #raleigh carrera #cadence dorian #matt rodriguez #raleigh carrera x mc #raleigh x mc #raleigh carrera x cadence dorian #raleigh x cadence #not twc #my writing #my choices fics

23 notes · View notes