#parenting adult children

[theworldoffostering]

Anyone else find out their kid is on the internet selling “adult” photos of themselves? Just me? What even is parenting? Don’t come at me with any empowerment crap either. I guarantee it is not happening because she feels empowered by it. I am so incredibly discouraged.

[defilerwyrm]

Parents, for the love of everything that ever pretended to be holy, do not make household cleaning a punishment for your children.

My parents did that. As an adult, I would rather stare at a blank wall for five hours straight than wash dishes. I would rather do math problems without a calculator and have my answers read aloud in public than clean a bathroom. If my hatred of cleaning was a capturable energy it could power interstellar travel. All because, growing up, cleaning house was a primary form of punishment.

Don’t fuckin’ do that. You’re not instilling discipline. You’re instilling hatred for something they need to be able to do as adults without hating every microsecond of it.

[jacciturner]

Spiritual Practice: Letting go of Adult Children

Spiritual Practice: Letting go of Adult Children

Once I thought of writing a book about parenting adult children. I decided it would have one page in it. That page would have two words in large, boldfaced font, “Let Go.” Letting go is the hardest part of parenting adult children. Letting go of their decisions, their whereabouts, their lifestyle choices — so much to let go of! The hardest part is that, unlike when they are young, their choices…

[littlebitofdnd]

Sandra-Lynn and Sklonda are having a "What Do We Do About Kristen" phone call as we speak

[mitskijamie]

So like. Jamie comes to watch one of Phoebe's matches, and she completely eats shit the entire time. Can hardly hold onto the ball for two seconds, trips over her own feet more than once, shoots twice and misses both times, passes to the wrong person, etc. and her team is just completely annihilated. Like. 0-7 annihilated. Demolished

As soon as time is called, she immediately walks off the pitch in tears and goes to Roy, who of course picks her up in her wet, muddy kit and kisses her forehead and tells her not to worry, there's always next week, she did him proud going out there and giving it everything she had, etc.

And Phoebe looks so small and innocent and pitiful, crying and cold and wet in her tiny little kit, and she's already so disappointed in herself and heartbroken over the score and all she wants is comfort and warmth and Roy gives her that without even thinking about it because she's a fucking child and it's a fucking game. And she knows he'll pick her up and comfort her so intrinsically that she doesn't hesitate a single moment.

Jamie just watches them and thinks about all the hours he spent crying inconsolably in locker rooms after losses, so anxious he'd throw up, stalling, not wanting to leave because he knew his father would be waiting for him when he did. Knowing there would be no comfort until he could see Georgie again.

And seeing it from the other side - being the adult in the situation - just gives him this renewed wave of fury and disgust for his father because how could anyone. How could anyone look at a precious, defenseless little child in that state, crying and desperate for comfort, and beat and berate them until they bled and cried and begged for forgiveness. Over a fucking game. How could you even think to do that. How could anyone.

[machineryangel]

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Lindsay C. Gibson

[deathbypufferfish]

I realized the other day that a big reason you feel the desire to grow up quicker as a child is because you want to be treated like an actual person with thoughts, feelings, and bodily autonomy like adults get to.

[femmefatalevibe]

Hi I was wondering how do you deal with a toxic family member? How do you handle situations in which they are manipulative and gaslighting you?

Validate your own emotions and experiences

Practice emotional differentiation. Prioritize your own feelings and goals

Learn the psychology behind guilt-tripping, shaming, and people-pleasing & how it's used to manipulate/gaslight children of narcissistic & other types of emotionally immature parents

Implement the "grey rocking" technique during conversations (be "boring' and emotionally flat; don't give them the emotional reaction they crave)

Go as low contact as humanely possible (no contact is the best option). Never initiate a conversation unless its absolutely necessary (logistical issue, emergency, etc. if needed)

Keep them on an information diet. Don't tell them anything about your life that is not vital for them to know

Don't try to change their minds. Just say "You're right," and disengage

Set boundaries on conversation topics/them criticizing your character. Say "I'm not engaging in this conversation." Stop replying, hang up the phone, or walk away

Live your life with them out of sight, out of mind as much as possible. You deserve to live in peace and be happy, no matter what these toxic family members say

Hope this helps xx

[royaltea000]

if I had a nickel for every time some blonde guy inexplicably got a child I’d have two nickels but it’s strange that it happened twice

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 63

Danny is honestly having fun. Sure his friends and him have gotten thrown into this world with a bunch of monsters and giant creatures, but it’s fun! He’s going to make friends with all of them- even if they do try to eat him in human form most of the time. They all seem pretty confused by them when they smell like ecto though, which uh, wow wasn’t how they wanted to learn the whole class has become liminal. Oh well, it’s just them and Mr Lancer on an entire island to themselves! And he can’t be the only one to want to pet and befriend a dragon, like, c’mon! It’s a dragon! And Star is already eyeing a giant lightning unicorn so he definitely isn’t the only one down to go feral! Hey, at least there’s no GIW here or ghost attacks, and seeing as he doesn’t know how to make portals like Wulf, it’ll take a while to make a ghost portal to the zone. So feral island children it is! 

Bonus DCxDP crossover is if a hero of group of heroes also get thrown into the world onto the island. To them it’s almost like a peter pan situation only the children have a single adult whose given up on controlling the chaos. Oh yeah, they also all have powers and ride giant mythical beasts. Did they mention none of the group trusts any of them either? Yeaaah, this is going to be a long trip home…

[theworldoffostering]

Raising kids is not for the weak.

The good:

DS took his road test and passed it! It felt so nice to do a normal kid/parent thing and see him be successful.

The anniversary of his adoption day was this month. It’s been 15 years.

Ms. 6 was accepted into a university.

Ms. 6 is going to graduate high school next month!

We are progressing in attachment therapy with Baby.

School is almost done for the year.

The mediocre:

DD broke up with her fiancé and is already seeing someone else. I did not care for her fiancé, but already seeing someone else is a red flag.

I talked with the students with disabilities center on Ms. 6’s campus this week to try to get her some services. In turn, I had to request her IEP. Her IEP from fall was a train wreck so I reconvened the team this week and told them to rewrite it appropriately. Apparently the guidance counselor quit in the fall and no one has taken his place. For real, without a parent, most kids are completely lost.

I signed Ms. 6 up for college registration and orientation. Students have to bring a parent. I offered but she wants her mom to go which is fine. However, we don’t know if her mom will go. She was too hungover to take Ms. 6 to the hospital when she had knee surgery scheduled a couple of months back. Last week she didn’t get out of bed to take Ms. 6 to a somewhat major dental appointment. I told her I would go, but her mom insisted that she was going so I could not attend. I stood down and then she didn’t show up. Same thing happened with the knee surgery.

The challenging:

So much drama with Ms. 6’s family of origin. Ms. 6 lives over three hours away from us but is enrolled in a high school near us and her graduation will be where we live. I offered to throw her a graduation party and invite her mom. Ms. 6 was thrilled. Her mom told her to cut DH and I off and that she could no longer talk to us or receive mail from us. Now her mom is threatening to take away Ms. 6 attending her own graduation altogether.

Ms. 6 insisted she completed her FASFA. She did, but it was for the 23-24 year, not the 24-25 year. I straightened it out two weeks ago and filled it out for her (she’s an independent so parent income doesn’t count). Financial aid packagers don’t go out until next month so I’m hoping she will still get enough to be able to go to school.

Ms. 6 told me this week that she never obtained a new birth certificate or social security card despite me directing her in how to do both things multiple times in the fall after she left here unexpectedly. I finally just ordered (and paid) for a new birth certificate for her this week.

I feel incredibly burned out. Like maybe I need meds? My endocrin called and told me I need to start doing B12 injections because after taking oral supplements for three months, my b12 levels actually went down. I don’t know if it’s that, or wading through all of the drama, or both. Some days, I don’t feel like I can even put one foot in front of the other. It’s too much. How do you ever get a break from everything?

Tomorrow we are meeting with DD to try to work out getting her a $4k car from a friend of mine. It’s a 2006 Odyssey with almost 200k miles on it. The insurance (collision only) would be $2k for the year. She’s bouncing from one hourly job to another and not saving anything. She desperately needs a vehicle to get to and from work. Currently she’s relying on her fiancé and her vehicle, but now that they’re no longer together, it seems more important that she have her own. She has zero money saved, but I have a college fund set aside for her with about $10k in it. Clearly she’s not going to college right now so I think we are going to pivot with that money and pay for the car and the insurance for a year.

I was planning to drive 6.5 hours this weekend to meet up with Ms. 6 and her BF who she met online. Ms. 6 has really been pushing for this. I asked for his address so I could locate a nearby hotel. She said he didn’t want me to have it. Then I asked for his name. He apparently did not want to disclose that to me either. I did tell her that was super sketch, and now I do think he’s like a really scary person who no one has vetted. Ms. 6 has already stayed with him several times so maybe not a serial killer, but anything else is possible in my brain. He’s definitely older because he has his own apartment.

It’s so much, you guys.

[uncanny-tranny]

Part of my experience with abuse is hoping I get a kid like me so I can know how easy it can be to love them, how easy it is to not treat them how I was treated, and breaking that cycle. It was only hard for them to love me as a child because they didn't love me in the first place. They wished for me to know the hate they had, and I refuse to carry their water for them like that. It was never hard to love me.

[tinyshinysylveon]

can we just appreciate the fact that rei didn’t just gave miri the medication right away but checked the back to see if it’s okay for her to use just in case ;;

[tmnt-obsessed-ace]

Guess who's having ANOTHER au thought (because I cannot be stopped)

Ok so the premise is simple.

A 17 year old 2012 Leo ends up in the Riseverse due to a portal mishap

Well more specifically he ends up in the Hidden City.

Completely alone in a new environment in a new dimension, how wonderful.

He's just in time to watch as a then Human Lou Jitsu is carried to Draxum's lab. And well Leonardo couldnt just leave that alone. He follows the gargoyles to the lab.

Because something is about to go down, and he's not gonna let that happen.

By the time Leo breaks into the lab and enters the main chamber, four baby turtles are about to be mutated.

He fights with Draxum, releasing Lou Jitsu in the process.

However Draxum quickly grows to realize that Leonardo is EXACTLY the kind of mutant warrior he was trying to create.

Why use a human to make more warriors when there is a mutant RIGHT THERE for the picking.

Besides, Leonardo is younger than Lou Jitsu and a younger donor would last much longer.

So Leonardo gets put in the machine

And the four baby turtles get mutated using Leonardo's DNA.

The lab ends up on fire and collapses like in canon (and Lou Jitsu ends up mutated into a rat like canon)

Leonardo flees the burning lab, with four crying baby mutant turtles in his arms.

Once he's out of the Hidden City he takes to the sewers immediately.

He wraps the babies in an old blanket he found along the way and collapses soon after.

Oh god...

Oh fuck...

These are HIS kids arent they?

He's only 17 and now he has four kids!

Four teeny tiny kids (the biggest one is smaller than his palm)

What is he gonna do?

He can't raise four infants alone! (He doesn't know what happened to that action star guy, he could faintly hear him scream over the falling rubble and the fire, but Leo was too focused on getting the babies to safety to care at that moment)

He forces himself to calm down, its fine...everything will be fine!

His family will find him (explaining why he suddenly is a father of four will not be fun but he can handle that.) And then everything will be fine.

Days turn to weeks.

Weeks turn to months.

Its almost a year since the lab fire.

The babies are all walking and talking at various levels (The softshell is already starting to learn how to read) getting into everything and full of energy.

Leonardo is so scared.

Its been a year and there hasnt been any contact from his family, no one has come for him. Were they even looking for him?

It takes another couple of months for his hope to fade. He was really stuck here wasnt he? Surely his family would've found him by now?

By year three he knows that no one is coming for him. All he can do now is raise his sons to the best of his ability. Keep them safe and loved, train them to become ninjas like his father before him.

Now 13 years since the lab fire, Leonardo at age 30, is a father to four teenage mutant ninja turtles of his own. Everything is fine

At least until his sons come home with new weapons, millions of dangerous insects released in New York and an old enemy returning to recapture his experiments.

Leonardo will not let that happen. He will protect his children even if it costs him his life.

Meanwhile its only been five months in his home dimension, his still teenage brothers completely oblivious to everything that is happening to their missing eldest brother.

(TLDR: 2012 Leo becomes a parent to the Rise boys while in a different dimension)

Calling this fun little au Same Story Different Font

[greensupremetangerine]

PSA that harassing, bullying, and kicking a person out of a fandom is toxic behavior. A difference in opinions does not warrant anonymous hate, and claiming it wasnt that bad and there's no proof because they didn't post the hate doesn't retract the fact that something happened to make them deactivate their account.

Fandoms are supposed to be places of community, enjoyment, and celebration of a mutually liked piece of media. There isn't room for hate, because the concept of a fandom does not naturally account for it.

If someone says something you dont like, it does not give you the right or responsibility to "put them in their place" or "teach them what's right" or whatever. A person is allowed to have their own thoughts and opinions. You can retort, discuss, disagree, hell you can even block them, but for the love of god don't single them out and make them a villain. It doesn't automatically make you the right side if they stop talking.

Also, the anonymous button isn't for keeping the blame off yourself. It's not for sending a dozen death threats while still looking pretty and proper on your blog. The person recieving anons has no way to disengage from the conversation. They cannot block, the best they can do is disable anons and stop the kind, shy people from asking silly questions or hope you give up and stop. The last resort is completely deleting your account, and again, its not a sign of your victory, it's a sign of the fandom' loss, and it is a sign that you are the vicious aggressor.

If youre struggling to stop doing these things, by no means am I a saint or a therapist, but removing yourself from the situation and letting yourself breathe, even for a moment, will probably help a lot with your relationships and mental health. I'm a believer that people can change and it is in human nature to do so, even if it's hard. It's a conscious decision to be a good person (I'm not calling you evil) and being a kind person is fulfilling in amazing ways.

tl;dr don't harass people :( it doesn't give you the high ground and it makes the fandom a worse place.

[sparklecryptid]

I had no patience for people policing other peoples ships before i went to library tech school and library tech school has make me a little bit pissy about the entire thing actually.