#personally i am feeling like shit :D

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

how is everyone feeling on this fine monday?

[unohanadaydreams]

I find it amusing Mayuri is the only captain we've seen in the shower, considering he probably wears the most clothes and it turns out he's absolutely smoking hot. Kubo is a TEASE.

I mean, he's the only captain where that's what it takes for the audience to see him that way (we can probably disregard Byakuya's bath reveal in TYBW lmao). There is no battle or place of comfort where we see Mayuri stripped of his frippery. If Kubo didn't show him in a position where he physically can't wear make up, we never would've seen his face!

It took Mayuri at an extremely private moment where he's bathing for him to drop the act because he is forced to. And as the audience we are privy to a scant moment. That never happens again. Ever. At all. In the whole of canon!!! Even when Kubo's done a human world fit for Mayuri, he is still keeping it clown.

But I agree, it's amusing. Top 5 things Mayuri would burn down the world for seeing, for sure.

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Just know the urge to rewatch the breakfast club is plaguing me and it’s entirely your fault what have you done to me /j lol

LOL DUDE I was literally just talking with one of my sisters about how I'm kind of itching to rewatch that movie now lmaooo you *should* you should actually!

[jackienautism]

trying so hard to cope rn🙏

[moinsbienquekaworu]

The struggle between being happy that all kinds of aspecs are talking about aspec experiences more and barely being able to stand the way people talk about aspec experiences

[aziraphale-protection-squad]

right. so. i'm taking the angel and i'm wrapping him in a soft blanket and i'm telling him that NO ONE has the right to touch him without his consent.

no matter how well they know each other and got along previously.

or how angsty the person feels about possibly never seeing him again.

or how much Aziraphale might even possibly WANT to be intimate with that person on some level, someday, when they're okay again.

there are no ways around this:

if he's not READY for it, or if he's not in the MOOD for a kiss, then NO ONE SHOULD BE KISSING HIM. PERIOD.

[pepprs]

i will shut up abt this i promise but like. the concept of being in a stable safe mutually loving whatever relationship is INSANE . like how can you ever feel bad about yourself or wounded or whatever again. it’s like a superpower or somethi ng. <- doesn’t know what she’s taking abt bc she’s never experienced it or the absence of it after having it merely the negative space of it and is filling in the gaps w logic or something. but it’s INSANE to me. like of course i feel like shit about myself i am catcrumb unloved.jpg!

[slippery-minghus]

hmm. had an actual conversation with nightmare coworker today that seemed mutually productive. she apologized for saying some bullshit that hurt my feelings and i clarified that my intentions are to help not to undermine her, and we both agreed that there's no competition against each other and that it's the lack of growth in our role that's the problem. it was...productive.

and further cementing for me that it is time to begin making my Exit. i will be sending out my resume to a few places this weekend.

i'm still processing the conversation, and am struggling to place myself in where i am responsible to better my behavior. because i genuinely don't want to be an ass, even though i really don't like this lady and will jump for joy the day i never have to see her again. she stated that she knows my intentions aren't to hurt her, and that she thinks i'm very kind. i apologized for if my behavior came off as undermining her, and said that my intentions are only to better my own growth—and that i know she's trying to succeed too. i validated her feelings, and complemented the effort she is putting in.

where i'm struggling with is: am i in the wrong/causing harm and needing to change if the issue is that her feelings are incongruent with what she knows of my intentions? her feelings are her responsibility (WOW i almost typed "her feelings are my responsibility". i feel like that's a freudian slip) and she states that she knows i don't mean to hurt her. i'm going to try to be more clear in wording my intentions with her (she feels like me trying to take work off her plate is to undermine her. when really, i'm caught up and see her getting overwhelmed, and i want to help and also have something to do since i'm bored).

but i'm really struggling to look at my role in this and pass judgement on myself. i can and want to do better, and i don't think i did anything wrong, but i'm always so hesitant to say it's not my fault or i didn't do something bad. like i can't trust my judgement on that. my intentions were good, her bad feelings are ones caused by her insecurities, which she more or less has expressed to be aware that they are not true—the hurtful thing she said to me, she acknowledged was said out of hurt and not what she actually thinks. so, is it fair to say i'm not the bad guy? i'm not in the wrong? i know good intentions that still result in harm don't absolve anyone, but when the things that are clashing are insufficient communication and reactive insecurities... i'm not a monster, am i?

[qumiiiquinnquin]

ill never be good enough at anything

[dootznbootz]

Sometimes I question if I should start actually taggin my "#shot by odysseus" correctly because sometimes the tags are...very low and mean but also like, I reference a LOT of other posts of mine and other people will probably be confused.

Also just because a small bus full of people (one of them being Odysseus) clap and cheer for Weird Water Wife™, doesn't mean most will. I KNOW not everyone wants to think about her being a weird menace.

[thornedswan]

I don't get how...people don't comprehend that I don't wanna do T because of my own reasons and worries

[scattered-winter]

😈🤲🏻 <- guy asking for a winter ramble(TM) about eliot spencer <333

tw for uh. abusive relationships and manipulation and shit like that. like I said. I'm going feral.

LISTEN HE'S SO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm specifically going super insane over his relationship w moreau because it's very clear that there Was In Fact some kind of relationship there. like ?!? the thing I'm the most insane about is how moreau seems to get under eliot's skin in a way that none of the other marks they've had can. I'm thinking specifically about the scene when hardison and eliot go face-to-face with moreau for the first time. eliot actually looks nervous, which is a look we haven't seen on him like .. at ALL. his whole THING is being the unrufflable, unshakeable team hitter who doesn't balk at anything, and so seeing him so visibly distressed was SOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a collection of some of my favorite expressions in the ep:

he literally ??? has tears in his eyes in the last one as he's begging parker not to ask what moreau made him do ??? i am ??? in shambles??????

and like. any other character showing this amount of emotion wouldn't even phase me because that's like. not a lot of emotion for someone to show but when it's eliot ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, especially since there were so many microexpressions I couldn't possibly get a screenshot of because they're soo blink-and-you'll-miss-it like ,, jaw ticks and lip trembles and voice trembling and shit like that. because it's eliot, the guy who hardly ever cracks, who's showing this much open emotion, it's the equivalent of someone scream-sobbing onscreen. I'm actively going insane

because it's like. moreau must have had ?? so much power over eliot in the past ???? the way he was acting in that scene, the way he was being So confident and almost...mocking .. taking every opportunity to throw the fact that He Knows Eliot into their faces (saying eliot prefers beer, calling him "old friend," reminiscing about "the old days," etc). he was deliberately trying to get under eliot's skin and the thing that makes me insane is that it WORKED. eliot was already so tense and ready for a fight even before moreau showed up, and it was SO !!! so !!!!!! even when hardison was drowning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! eliot didn't have the luxury of showing his stress and worry on his face because if moreau Knew he was scared for hardison their whole job would be blown!!!!!!!!! and it is SUCH a favorite trope of mine where a character has so force themselves to be impassive while a member of their team (bonus points if it's a S/O!!!!!) is in danger !!!!! so really this concept had me from day ONE

and like. the concept of them being A Thing (tm) romantically before canon. not in a cutesy healthy way but in a "there's 13 layers of manipulation and control and one-sided codependency and moreau was using eliot as a tool and a weapon and it's all about eliot being his possession and eliot was trapped in a cycle of manipulation and wanting so desperately to be wanted and being controlled and even after breaking free from it he still had lasting scars for years" kind of way. for moreau it's all about possession and control and for eliot it's all about having a place to belong even though he's losing parts of himself along the way. because the worst, darkest thing from eliot's past* happened while he was working for moreau, and he didn't tell the team about it. now, that's not really a shocker, because the team lies to and withholds information from each other all the time but !!!! still !!!!! there's been this level of Openness eliot and the team has had in the last few eps I've been watching where like ..... if anyone has any questions abt their past, they'll answer them pretty willingly. but he specifically asked parker not to ask him what he did because he didn't want to tell her !!! (which ALSO makes me insane because .... he literally can't say no to her????????? even though he Doesn't Want Them To Know ,, he fully knew that if she asked he would Tell Her ... aoughhh)

*I don't think they ever confirm what that was but bro.....I Have Theories (tm)

and like !!!!!! eliot being used as a tool by his abuser, and doing the absolute worst things he's ever done in his life, that will haunt him forever, and then even years after leaving moreau behind being shoved face to face with him ??!!?!?! I really hope moreau comes back in later seasons because eliot was DISTRESSED and I was EATING IT UP !!!!!!!!!!!!! and I also have had a LOOONG lasting love for whump/angst tropes where one character has been Controlled And Manipulated by another character and even years later that person still has so much power over them ,,,,,,,,, it's SO.!!!!!!!!

if I take some liberties w all these concepts ,, there's SOOO much potential there. moreau being a "toxic ex" but crank the toxicity up to 11 and throw in a healthy dose of whumper/abuser behavior and he somehow gets a hold of parker and hardison and basically forces eliot to leave the team and come back with him ,, kind of a "you don't belong to anyone but me" kinda deal ,,,,,,, oughhhgogughgghghh

[wrecking]

expired white cheddar popcorn, my only solace rn.

edit: oh fuck i didn't mean to post this yet i wanted to like. space this out from my last post? sorry in advance i guess

[batqueers]

mmgnngdfnm

[loverboybrightsideghost]

god i love being a musician

[t4tdykes]

z.ionism in the tags, tbd