#peter is very much conflicted

[jo-v-ie]

[altho-arto]

Went to see spiderverse again. Am NOT normal about this movie, this confirms it

[fellhellion]

I love you fanon that Miguel is a dad to the spider teens after this mess ur very cute but imo his most amicable self for them would be like. Harmless and stupid mutual sniping.

[ravenpuffheadcanons]

I am now about halfway through Possession by AS Byatt and I could not love it more.

[doomednarrative]

In celebration of pride month, you all may finally have the link to my Hoffstrahm playlist~

[rebeccathenaturalist]

Unsurprisingly, a lot of the commentary I'm seeing about this has been of the "But--but--I would do the same thing because I don't want anything bad to happen to the deer!"

Look. I love wildlife, and I love getting to see deer, coyotes, and even the occasional black bear in my neighborhood. But they are here because there is good habitat nearby with lots of natural food sources, not because I deliberately put out food for them to eat. I respect them as wild animals with whom my relationship is very different compared to the domesticated animals I take care of every day. A deer is not a sheep or a horse; a coyote is not a dog.

People who do things like try to tame deer or, worse yet, try to raise a fawn or other young wildlife like pets are robbing those wild animals of their natural existences. We've already wrought our own preferences on the landscape to a severe degree, tearing the wildness out of it to create lawns and farms and subdivisions and strip malls. When we then dismiss the wildness of these animals and impress our own desire for connection on our terms on them, we are harming them.

I've already written elsewhere about the difference between "tame" and "domesticated". No matter how docile that deer seems, it is never going to be as (relatively) safe and tractable as a domesticated sheep or goat. It will always be more unpredictable, and more likely to lash out suddenly at a person due to fear, or hormones, or protection of young.

These animals need their wild instincts to be intact if they are going to survive without being dependent on us. They need those instincts in order to find mates and keep the gene pool stirred up. Their instincts keep them safe from danger, including humans. And their instincts never totally go away, no matter how much we may try to tame them otherwise.

This is why a good wildlife rehab is going to minimize handling of the wild animals they care for, especially those that are going to be able to be released back into the wild. The less comfortable these animals are with humans, the better their chances of surviving in the wild and having fulfilling, natural lives. Wildlife that retain their wariness of humans are less likely to end up falling prey to hunting, or being killed as nuisance animals when they get too aggressive in seeking food or otherwise coming into conflict with people.

The person who painted "pet" on a fully grown white-tailed buck and put a collar around his neck may have felt like they were doing that deer a kindness, but they have likely robbed him of the chance to just live a natural life as his own, independent being out in the woods and fields. He might be out there, sure, but perhaps he won't mate because he imprinted on humans. Or maybe he will end up shot by a hunter in spite of the precautions because he's just too friendly and those antlers are worth taking the shot.

There will always be something missing from this deer's life because of the arrogance of someone who thought they could own and keep and control a wild-born animal for their own enjoyment, instead of allowing him to come and go as he pleased. Honestly, it reminds me of King Haggard from Peter S. Beagle's The Last Unicorn, whose response to seeing something beautiful was to capture it and keep it rather than simply enjoying and remembering that magical moment:

"I like to watch them. They fill me with joy. The first I felt it I thought I was going to die. I said to the Red Bull I must have them, all of them, all there are. For nothing makes me happy but their shining and their grace. So the Red Bull caught them. Each time I see the unicorns, my unicorns, it is like that morning in the woods and I am truly young, in spite of myself."

That's how I feel about people who are willing to drastically alter a wild animal's behavior for their own selfish benefit, even if they think they're being kind. I know I'm fighting a bit of an uphill battle in this, but I'm rather stubborn that way.

[ironcroft11]

In defense of Gwen in Across the Spider-Verse

Okay. First of all: This post is gonna be super long and have tons of spoilers so if you don’t want to get spoiled for Across the Spider-Verse then don’t read this post. I have seen way too many people hate on Gwen because of her actions and her behavior towards Miles in Across the Spider-Verse. I’ll show you why that hate completely misses her arc in the movie and her true intentions/relationship with Miles. This post will also delve into Gwiles/Ghostflower since that is a big part of what shapes her intentions.  Many people say Gwen betrayed Miles and doesn’t really care about him. They say Miles shouldn’t forgive her and that she is a snake for what she did. I’ll show you why the opposite is true by going through the events of the movie in cronological order: The movie literally starts off with Gwen talking about Miles. She is drumming away, which is, mentioned by herself, a way for her to cope with her feelings. That opening from Gwen is a small glimpse into her head. We see how she feels and what she thinks. The interesting thing is that it’s basically Gwen broadly narrating the events of the entire movie. We even see glimpses of future scenes in that intro. The line of narration that is most important here is Gwen saying “I didn’t want to hurt him. But I did. And he is not the only one.” This shows us IMMEDIATELY that Gwen did not intend to hurt Miles AT ALL. Quite the contrary. It also shows that she is AWARE she hurt Miles. She knows she fucked up. That is going to be important later on when she needs to make the tough decision regarding Miles/The Spider Society. 

We then follow her as she goes home, still thinking about Miles and then, of course, her Peter. Note that this is roughly 1 year after Into the Spider-Verse. 1 year after she met Miles she still thinks about him daily. “I haven’t really made any friends after that [Peter’s death], except one. But there is no way to get there.” She misses Miles and wishes there was a way to visit him. Obviously she still very much cares and thinks about him.

At Gwen’s home we are first shown what her conflict with her father looks like. That conflict is obviously one of the main aspects of her arc and what drives her actions later on in the movie. You can see it is strained but you can still see that they obviously love each other very much. Gwen struggles as her father is basically hunting her down without knowing its is actually her. What pains her the most, though, is that her father is convinced that Spider-Gwen killed her best friend, Peter Parker. That way he, without knowing, makes Gwen feel guilty about the death of her best friend. Gwen is trying to get over Peter’s death but is held back by her dad, unbeknownst to him. 

Gwen caring and missing Miles a lot is brought up again when she sees the picture of her and Miles that they made in Into the Spider-Verse (which she had made into a polaroid so she can actually have it on her/in her hands). Her eyes look on with sadness and her color is dark blue. The colors in Gwen’s dimension are used to portray her feelings. Dark/blue tones for sadness and light/pink tones for happiness/comfort. At this point, seeing Miles again is probably one of her dearest wishes. Miles understands her and knows who she truly is. This is going to be important later on.

During Gwens fight with Vulture at the Museum we are introduced to Miguel O’hera, Spider-Man 2099, who saves her from Vulture. He introduces himself but Gwen seems unimpressed and uninterested. What she is very much interested in, though, is Miguel’s Dimension Watch. “You can go to any dimension you want with that watch?” She just met an entirely new Spider-Man and all she is interested in is his technology that might allow her to go and visit Miles. That is how much she misses him.

As the duo fight off Vulture Miguel calls for back-up and they are joined by Spider-Woman Jessica Drew. Her and Gwen have an immediate bond which will be very important later on. Gwen immediately looks up to her and sees her as a mentor from who she can learn a lot. Gwen impresses Jessica so much that she asks Miguel if they want to recruit her for Miguel’s Spider-Society. “What about her?” “No.” “Why not?” “You know why.” Miguel and Jessica studied the entire Kingpin collider event. They know who was involved and they know that Gwen and Miles are friends. Miguel doesn’t want to recruit Gwen because she is too close to Miles. Why that is a problem we all know. (Miles being the original anomoly) From the start they knew Gwen’s relationship with Miles might end up jeopardizing their goal of protecting the Spider-Verse.

We then go on to this scene. Gwen confronting her father and her father finding out that Spider-Woman, the vigilante he was dedicated to catching and locking up, is actually his daughter. This is a key moment in Gwen’s arc throughout the movie. Her father accuses her of lying to him. All Gwen wants right now is support from her father. She doesn’t get that, instead her father wants to lock her up for the murder of her Peter Parker. At this point she is immensely conflicted. “I don’t know how to fix this.” Jessica Drew notices that and convinces Miguel to let Gwen join the Spider-Society. 

Gwen seeing no immediate solution to her problem decides to accept the invite. She is not yet ready to confront the problem and walks away from it, despite being conflicted. This will be at the back of her head throughout her entire arc and throughout the entire movie. Until she is ready to confront her dad who, remember, wants to lock her up, she CAN’T return to her home dimension. Her going back would mean her having to confront a problem she is not yet ready to confront. 

The next time we see Gwen is after we are introduced to Miles again. This is Gwen seeing Miles again for the first time after 1 year and 4 months. Her immediate reaction is to tightly hug him. You can, in that hug alone, see how much she missed him. You can also pick up all kind of little things in this scene. One is how awkward Gwen is. She is cringing at herself for telling him he had a growth spurt. There are obviously some unresolved feelings between the two.

Gwen then goes through his sketchbook and finds Miles’ drawings of her. She is surprised to see so many drawings of her but plays it off smoothly. “Missed you too.” It’s obvious that both missed each other immensely. But we haven’t even seen the entire extend of how MUCH Gwen ACTUALLY missed Miles. We only find out about that a bit later.

Miles and Gwen then swing through the city and catch up. Their chemistry is on full display here. I absolutely adore this scene. Gwen tells Miles that the Spider-Society is really strict about where she goes otherwise she would have come to visit him sooner. What’s important here is that at this point Gwen KNOWS about Miles’ “condition”. She knows he is an anomoly and she knows that his father dying is a canon event. And at this time she BELIEVES in these canon events. She thinks they must be upheld or the multiverse collapses. That’s what Miguel told her. 

During their swing Gwen uses a moment in which Miles is distracted to place her surveillance device for Spot. You can see, even with her mask, how much it pains her to keep the truth from Miles nd having to leave him in the dark. We find out: Gwen is not here because of Miles but because she is supposed to catch Spot since Spot is an anomoly. 

What follows is one of the biggest Gwiles moments in the movie and also a very important scene when it comes to Gwen and her feelings towards Miles. They sit down at the Williamsburgh Bank Building and have a heart to heart. 

Gwen tells Miles that it is always so great to talk to him and that he is the only friend she ever really made since Peter died. Miles, knowing about Hobie, says “Other than Hobie, right?” and Gwen answers “That’s different.” This shows us that Gwen’s relationship and feelings for Miles are different from the relationship she has with Hobie. That’s because she literally has feelings for Miles, and she knows that Miles, in some way at least, feels the same. “We’re the same, in the important ways.” Gwen then says a line that literally shows she has fallen for Miles, otherwise there would be no need for her to mention it. “In every other universe Gwen Stacy falls for Spider-Man.” This is Gwen telling Miles that she has feelings for him. 

Hearing that reassures Miles and he moves his hand closer to hers. 

This is important: Gwen sees this! 

And then closes her eyes and flinches. She flinches because she wants to take his hand so bad that it literally pains her that she can’t. We find out why she can’t with her next words: “And in every other universe it doesn’t end well.” Gwen knows about canon events and knows they need to happen. She was probably being told that Gwen Stacy falling for Spider-Man and it not ending will is a canon event. 

She then gives Miles a look that I can only describe as “loving”. She would probably love to tell him more about canon events and everything regarding the Spider-Society. But like she said: She doesn’t know how to. She doesn’t want to hurt him and she wants to protect him.

Miles then tells her “There’s a first time for everything, right?” which makes Gwen chuckle and smile at him. It’s the first time where Gwen is confronted with Miles’ philosophy of going down his own patch and not bending to the rules of canon. Even if canon dictates something, Miles believes there is always a way. 

This rubs off on Gwen as she affectionately leans on Miles, enjoying the sunset with him.  Not only is this overall scene incredibly beautiful and masterfully animated but its purpose is to show us that these two indeed love each other. They want to be together but Gwen, at this stage, feels like canon is against them.

Miles and Gwen then enjoy some food in quiet and keep talking about the Spider-Society and how Miles wants to be a part of it. Gwen, without being able to tell him the truth, shuts him down and lies to him. Again, she is not ready to tell him everything, the same way she is not ready to confront her father. These 2 conflicts go hand in hand as they are her 2 biggest conflicts that she has to overcome. Gwen then snaps at Miles because he was about to find the surveillance footage of Spot which would therefore uncover her true reason for being there. Gwen obviously doesn’t want that to happen because she doesn’t want to hurt Miles. She wants to keep him away from the Spider-Society because she knows he is an anomoly AND because she knows he wouldn’t be safe there.

After she snaps at him she immediately apologizes though. They both get REALLY close after that, closer than I had remembered from my first viewing. They also lock eyes. I’m pretty sure if not for Rio, Miles and Gwen would have kissed here. Rio interrupts them and they have an awkward talk. Rio and Jeff obviously think there is something going on between Miles and Gwen which is the source of the awkwardness. 

Gwen then gets a signal from her dimension watch which is caused by the explosion that Spot caused. She missed her time window to catch him because she was having so much fun being around Miles. Gwen quickly leaves after that, having to lie to both Miles and his parents. 

You can tell she doesn’t want to leave Miles. She wants to stay, but she can’t. She is conflicted. And she is conflicted throughout the entire movie. That makes her arc so interesting. 

What follows is one of the most important interactions in the movie that show Gwen’s motives. She arrives at the explosion and realizes Spot escaped. Jessica Drew, who Gwen looks up to, remember, calls her and asks her where Spot is. Gwen tries to play the whole situation down, not wanting to be seen as a failure. That has one big reason: Since Gwen is a liability to the Spider-Society because of her connection to Miles she has to constantly prove her worth, otherwise Miguel will send her back to her universe. That is one of Gwens biggest fears. Having to confront her father again. She is not yet ready for that so she basically does everything that is asked of her, even if she doesn’t necessarily agree with it.  Jessica notices that Gwen is nervous and asks her if she visited Miles. Gwen again tries to play it down but eventually admits she went to see Miles. Jessica gets angry with her and Gwen tells her she will never see Miles again. Her voice noticeably breaks when she says that. That interaction tells us one very important point: Gwen was not allowed to visit Miles. AT ALL. Miguel has forbidden Gwen to see Miles. He probably also told her why. Miles is an anomoly and him getting entangled with the Spider-Society might end up badly. And Gwen, knowing all that, knowing she might risk the multiverse, knowing she might risk getting sent back to her own dimension and having to confront her father, STILL decided to visit Miles. That is how much she cares about Miles. She literally risked the stabilty of the multiverse for the opportunity to see Miles again. Even if its only for one evening. This alone should end the debate about how Gwen “doesn’t care about Miles”. She obviously does. A lot. 

This can be taken even further.  “You never made a mistake? Never got too close to someone?” This is literally Gwen telling Jessica that the reason she went to see Miles is because she has feelings for him. Jess replies by saying she did but that she got over it, prompting Gwen to do the same. We, of course, know that she can’t. 

This is one of the most emotional scenes in the movie for me. After Gwens dialogue with Jess she knows her only chance to stay on Miguels good side is to follow Spot to Mumbattan and catch him. She has to leave and knows she will never see Miles again. She longingly looks towards the rooftop she and Miles stood on just moments ago, not knowing Miles is invisible and right in front of her.  She whispers a last “Goodbye Miles” as she heartbreakingly decides to leave. As much as it pains Gwen, she thinks leaving now without explaining anything to Miles might hurt him, but it does keep him safe and away from the Spider-Society. It’s a lose lose situation for Gwen. She is fighting a losing battle. On one side she has Miles and the desire to be with him, on the other side the entire Spider-Verse and the conflict with her father. The fact she is even contemplating shows how loyal she is towards Miles.

Miles follows her through the portal and catches her off guard. Gwen didn’t know he was listening and thought she would never see him again. Miles, being in another universe without a dimension watch, glitches and endangers both him and Gwen. Gwen then says that she “never should have visited” Miles.  She obviously meant the fact that NOW Miles is involved and they can’t go back now. She didn’t want Miles to be a part of it and now regrets that she pulled him into this. She is more angry at herself than at Miles here. 

When the canon event approaches Gwen tries to stop Miles from disrupting it. Again, a lose lose situation for Gwen. She knows (or at least thinks at this point) that disrupting canon events can cause universe to unravel. She also knows how dangerous canon events are and that there is a good chance Miles might die if he tries to intervene. 

Miles, not knowing about canon events at all yet, intervenes anyway. (Because he is Spider-Man, duh) While trying to save Captain Singh and the little girl he gets covered by rubble. Gwen and Hobie go down to the scene and while Hobie immediately helps Pav to pull up the bus Gwen literally makes a dash for the rubble and tries to find Miles. All the while screaming his name, her voice breaking while doing so. The relief in her voice when she finds him alive and well is very noticeable. (Great voice acting by Hailee Steinfeld)

After disrupting the canon event, Miles asks Gwen what she thinks of the situation. Gwen, almost affectionately whispering to him, tells him that she always thinks that he is amazing. Another moment that makes these two get closer and it shows how much admiration Gwen has for Miles. Even after disrupting a canon event, Gwen thinks the world of Miles. This highlights her conflict again. While still believing in these canon events, Miles is slowly but surely changing her mind about them. He is not quite there yet but it’s coming.

We then go the Spider-Society HQ where Gwen introduces Miles to Miguel. Miguel immediately becomes hostile and blames Miles for disrupting the canon event. Gwen knows that Miles did in fact disrupt the canon event but still defends him.  “He doesn’t know any better:” Miles has no knowledge about canon events or anything related to it so he can’t be blamed for what he did. Gwen knows that, which is also a reason why she tried to stop him. 

Miles then finds out about the structure of the Spider-Verse and about canon events. Miles also finds out that Gwen did not only try to save him but also stop him from disrupting the canon event. 

When Miles finds out his fathers death is a canon event that has to occur you can see Gwen frowning. She knew this and now Miles knows it.  There is no easy way to tell that to someone. Not if you’re close friends and not if you haven’t seen each other for a year. It pains Gwen that Miles has to go through that, and on top of that she can relate to it as well, because...

... Gwen’s father is also a Captain who’s death is a canon event. This adds another layer to her inner conflict. She believes in these canon events and therefore also believes that her father has to die. Gwen, in that aspect, is similar to Miguel. She accepts it, runs away from it. Similar to how she runs away from the conflict with her father. 

Miles confronts the other Spider’s and tells them he can’t sit back and let his father die. He then tells Gwen, referencing her earlier statement, that she was right and that she never should have visited her. Miles does NOT say that because he hates Gwen. He says that because he is distraught and because of the fact that if Gwen hadn’t shown up he’d still be in his dimension. (Where he wants to be to protect his father) Gwen starts to cry because this is OBVIOUSLY not how she wanted it to go and how she wanted Miles to find out.  The fact is: There was never a right time or way to explain it to Miles. Gwen isn’t an emotionless puppet that never struggles or is perfect. She loves Miles and she simply couldn’t bring it over her heart to tell him that his father will die and that he isn’t supposed to be Spider-Man. She wants him to be happy and to be safe, and from her perspective the best way to do that is to keep him away from the Spider-Society. 

When Miguel traps Miles to stop him from going home Gwen and Peter get really agitated.  “That’s enough.” “Stop it Miguel.” They don’t want to be on opposite sides to Miles. They want to talk it out. Of course the chance for that is now gone. You can still see that both still very much are on “Miles’ side”. Gwen is put into a situation where she is forced to choose between her friend or the Spider-Society. 

While they chase Miles, Jess confronts Gwen and tells her that even though Miles is Gwen’s friend, capturing him is the only way.  Gwen then tells Jess that that’s not what her gut says. This, again, shows her conflict. She KNOWS she is supposed to be on Miles’ side. It’s what her gut is saying. It’s what her heart is saying. Her head is still thinking that the multiverse must be protected, and that canon events must be stopped from being disrupted.

She then listens to her head and tries to grab Miles with her web. The look on her face says it all. It’s pain, love and an apology all in one. Miles destroys the web, symbolic for their trust.  Miles breaks the net, he is saying that he doesn’t trust Gwen anymore.  Gwen knows that, which is why after Miles breaks the net her look is one of complete sadness and disbelief. Not disbelief because she couldn’t imagine Miles not trusting her but rather diesbelief because she can’t believe it has come this far.

She continues the chase for Miles because she doesn’t know what else to do. When Miguel calls for every Spider-Man after they found out Miles’ location you can see Gwen having a look of dread and defeat on her face. She did’t want it to go this far. She still wants to talk it out and make up with him. She feels sorry and is slowly starting to regret her choices. 

While on the train Gwen and Peter keep calling out to Miguel, telling him that he should stop and to take it easy on Miles. Miguel doesn’t listen.

This scene is where the trust between Miles and Gwen is broken completely. Miles finds out that Gwen knew all along that he is an anomoly and that his father is supposed to die. He finds out that Gwen didn’t know how to tell him that and that that’s one of the reasons she didn’t come to visit him. 

Gwen then tells Miles that its for his own good, a lie she told herself to make her feel better. She full on regrets her choices by now. She knows she made a mistake but feels too distraught to really do anything about it. Her world slowly comes crashing down on her.

Miles is able to overpower Miguel and sends him flying down the train. The way Gwen looks down at Miguel is really interesting. Its a look of pride and relief. She is proud of how far Miles has come that he is able to escape from Miguel and reliefed that he was actually able to.

While Gwen thinks that now the way is free for her and Peter to get to Miles and explain everything to him, Miles just gives them a look of hurt, sadness and betrayal. He then says “Goodbye Gwen”, again mirroring Gwen’s goodbye earlier in the movie. Both were sad but for very different reasons.

The change of expression from Gwen says it all.  This goodbye from Miles, in his eyes, is final. He feels betrayed and hurt and just wants to get home to save his dad. While Gwen and Peter probably want to just talk to Miles and explain everything, Miles may think they want to capture him, too. And Miles can’t take that chance.

After Miles decides to jump Gwen, again, has an expression of relief on her face. This time the relief is because Miles managed to really escape Miguel and the other Spiders. She knows Miles will be safe, for now.

Miles manages to escape and Gwen is furious with Miguel. Furious as to how he treated Miles and how he managed the whole ordeal. 

She speaks up and Miguel blames Gwen for the Spider-Society losing Miles.  This is where Gwen starts to see that she actually doesn’t have the Spider-Societies back and that she should have taken Miles’ side from the beginning. She slowly realizes the true extent of her mistake. 

Gwen then proposes to talk it out with Miles, on her own. Miguel refuses, saying they tried that already.

She goes on to tell that Miles is her friend and is starting to question the whole “Canon event” topic. “Do you know for certain what happens when he breaks the Canon?” She is starting to fully side with Miles. 

Miguel tells her he knew from the beginning that her relationship with Miles was a liability. Gwen looks to Jess for support but doesn’t get it. She is now on her own, same as Miles. 

Gwen gets sent to her home universe, the thing she dreaded most. The last thing she tells Miguel is that they are supposed to be the good guys. That shows where she stands in regards to the conflict inside herself. She now knows that what Miguel and the Society does is wrong.  She was on the Society’s side, now she is on Miles’ side. 

She immediately tries to go to Miles’ dimension but she is locked out from using the dimension watch. Miguel denied her access. Gwen is furious and now trapped in her home dimension. 

She returns home and wants to collect the polaroid of her and Miles. She doesn’t want to confront her father yet, but we all knew it was inevitably coming.

Gwen confronts her dad and opens up to him. She pours her heart out and tells him how she really feels.  Remember, Gwen is a 16 year old girl. She carried the burden of her rensponsibility and the conflict inside her while still always trying to do the right thing.  But she says it best in this scene, “She doesn’t know what right or wrong is anymore.” The entire time she believed these canon events to be absolute and followed through with the Spider-Society’s plans because she thought it was the right thing to do.  In the process she hurt and betrayed the only real friend she had. And that was the straw that broke the camels back. Her intentions are now clear.

“I can’t lose one more friend.” She doesn’t know whats right or whats wrong, all she knows is that she can’t lose Miles. 

During her speech her father decides to quit his job as captain, freeing him from the canon event. This is when Gewn realizes that canon events might not be absolute and that they can be disrupted without dooming the dimension. She realizes Miles might have been doing the right thing all along. 

After making up with her dad the only thing left to do for Gwen is to go and find Miles. With the help of Hobie’s watch that is actually possible now.

Gwen arrives in Miles’ universe and finds out that Miles is in the wrong universe. She overhears Rio and Jeff talk about Miles. They mention Miles lighting up when he is around Gwen and that they hope she doesn’t get him hurt. This is where the full realization of her actions become clear to Gwen. She hurt Miles and didn’t help him when he needed her the most, and she hates herself for that.

She blames herself for what happened to Miles, even though it is not her fault entirely. 

Gwen tells Rio and Jeff that she is going to find Miles and bring him back. She also tells them what she learned from Miles. “All is possible.” This is the lesson Miles gives Gwen in this movie. It is a lesson she needed to learn. She now fully believes that anything is possible. This will come into play in Beyond the Spider-Verse when they are going to try and stop canon events from happening. 

She resolves the conflict with her father, parts ways with the Spider-Society and has only one goal left now: To find and make up with Miles. In her arc Gwen faced the conflict of choosing her friend or the greater good. On one hand is Miles, who she obviously has feelings for. On the other hand there is the Spider-Society who tell her how the multiverse works and how dangerous Miles and other anomolies are. In the end, her friend won, though it was a harsh process that damaged their trust and relationship.  Gwen is not perfect and isn’t always right. She is a 16 year old girl with tons of complex conflicts going on. She fights a constant battle with herself and her feelings. She makes mistakes, as do Miles, Peter, Miguel and the others. The important thing is that Gwen learns from these mistakes.  This also shows that she doesn’t hate or not care about Miles like some people have said. If anything her actions show to which lengths she went for Miles to be safe.  She knows she hurt Miles and is going to make up for it in Beyond the Spider-Verse. 

[briebysabs]

Across the Spider-verse spoilers///

Miguel fine af but Miles really should’ve beat his fat ass harder cuz wtf you mean calling him a mistake and blaming him for his Peter dying?? I’m sorry that pissed me off so much like Miles didn’t ask to get bit. Miles isn’t the one who made the collider, Miles didn’t bring Earth 42’s spider to his world GOD.

There’s a lot of anger, resentment, projecting and borderline envy going on. But I really liked how complex Miguel was in this movie. But some of y’all need to see he is wrong or at the very least, his way of going about things is wrong. Also explain to me why I’ve seen more hate targeted towards Gwen, someone who was conflicted the entire movie and Jess. Who should’ve stuck up for Gwen but clearly shows remorse at the end. More than Miguel bro make it make sense.

If you’re able to understand where Miguel is coming from, why can’t you also understand Gwen? Or did people straight up ignore the first 15 minutes of the movie? Like I too was disappointed with Gwen’s lying but one of the main reasons she did all this IS SO SHE DOESN’T GET SENT BACK HOME.

Where her father knows her identity and tried to arrest her. Where she currently has nowhere to live and crashes at Hobie’s place. How about we call out the adults that used that as leverage against a 16-17 year old, adults that watched it all go down too. Like people act like she had it against Miles when you see clearly that she only wants to protect him. She can’t lose another friend and obviously it backfired on her.

This is an amazing film but I’ve heard some absolutely dumb takes already. Some going as far to call Miguel racist WHICH MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. Yeah we were joking and there are obvious metaphors to the ‘Miles being a Afro-latino Spider Man backlash’ but no idiot, he doesn’t hate black people. Miles could be any race Miguel would still react the way he did.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Social Security is class war, not intergenerational conflict

Today, Tor.com published my latest short story, "The Canadian Miracle," set in the world of my forthcoming (Nov 14) novel, The Lost Cause. I am serializing this one on my podcast! Here's part one.

The very instant the Social Security Act was passed in 1935, American conservatives (in both parties) began lobbying to destroy it. After all, a reserve army of forelock-tugging plebs and family retainers won't voluntarily assemble themselves – they need to be goaded into it by the threat of slowly starving to death in their dotage.

They're at it again (again). The oligarch-thinktank industrial complex has unleashed a torrent of scare stories about Social Security's imminent insolvency, rehearsing the same shopworn doom predictions that they've been repeating since the Nixonite billionaire cabinet member Peter G Peterson created a "foundation" to peddle his disinformation in 2008:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I.O.U.S.A.

Peterson's go-to tactic is convincing young people that all the Social Security money they're paying into the system will be gobbled up by already-wealthy old people, leaving nothing behind for them. Conservatives have been peddling this ditty since the 1930s, and they're still at it – in the pages of the New York Times, no less:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/26/opinion/social-security-medicare-aging.html

The Times has become a veritable mouthpiece for this nonsense, publishing misleading and nonsensical charts and data to support the idea that millennials are losing a generational war to boomers, who will leave the cupboard bare:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/27/opinion/aging-medicare-social-security.html

As Robert Kuttner writes for The American Prospect, this latest rhetorical assault on Social Security is timed to coincide with the ascension of the GOP House's new Speaker, Mike Johnson, who makes no secret of his intention to destroy Social Security:

https://prospect.org/economy/2023-10-31-debunking-latest-attack-social-security/

The GOP says it wants to destroy Social Security for two reasons: first, to promote "choice" by letting us provide for our own retirement by flushing even more of our savings into the rigged casino that is the stock market; and second, because America doesn't have enough dollars to feed and house the elderly.

But for the New York Times' audience, they've figured out how to launder this far-right nonsense through the language of social justice. Rather than condemning the impecunious olds for their moral failing to lay the correct bets in the stock market, Social Security's opponents paint the elderly as a gerontocratic elite, flush with cash that rightfully belongs to the young.

To support this conclusion, they throw around statistics about how house-rich the Boomers are, and how much consumption they can afford. But as Kuttner points out, the Boomers' real-estate wealth comes not from aggressive house-flipping, but from merely owning a place to live. America's housing bubble means that younger people can't afford this basic human necessity, but the answer to that isn't making old people homeless – it's providing a lot more housing, and banning housing speculation:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/06/the-rents-too-damned-high/

It's true that older people are doing a lot of consumption spending – but the bulk of that spending isn't on cruises to Alaska to see the melting glaciers, it's on health care. Old people aren't luxuriating in their joint replacements and coronary bypasses. Calling this "consumption" is deliberately misleading.

But as Kuttner points out, there's another, more important point to be made about inequality in America – the most significant wealth gap in America is between workers and owners, not young people and old people. The "average" Boomer's net worth factors in the wealth of Warren Buffett and Donald Trump. Older renters are more rent-burdened and precarious than younger renters, and most older Americans have little to no retirement savings:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/teresaghilarducci/2023/10/28/the-new-york-times-greedy-geezer-myth/

Less than one percent of Social Security benefits go to millionaires – that's because the one percent constitute one percent of the population. It's right there in the name. The one percent are politically and economically important, but that's because they are low in numbers. Giving Social Security benefits to everyone over 65 will not result in a significant outlay to the ultra-wealthy, because there aren't many ultra-wealthy people in America. The problem of inequality isn't the expanding pool of rich people, it's the explosion of wealth for a contracting pool of rich people.

If conservatives were serious about limiting the grip of these "undeserving" Social Security recipients on our economy and its politics, they'd advocate for interitance taxes (which effectively don't exist in America), not the abolition of Social Security. The problem of wealth in America is that it is establishing permanent dynasties which are incompatible with social mobility. In other words, we have created a new hereditary aristocracy – and its corollary, a new hereditary peasantry:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/19/dynastic-wealth/#caste

Hereditary aristocracies are poisonous for lots of reasons, but one of the most pressing problems they present is political destabilization. American belief in democracy, the rule of law, and a national identity is q function of Americans' perception of fairness. If you think that your kids can't ever have a better life than you, if you think that the cops will lock you up for a crime for which a rich person would escape justice, then why obey the law? Why vote? Why not cheat and steal? Why not burn it all down?

The wealthy put a lot of energy into distracting us from this question. Just lately, they've cooked up a gigantic panic over a nonexistent wave of retail theft:

https://www.techdirt.com/2023/10/31/the-retail-theft-surge-that-isnt-report-says-crime-is-being-exaggerated-to-cover-up-other-retail-issues/

Meanwhile, the very real, non-imaginary, accelerating, multi-billion-dollar plague of wage theft is conspicuously missing from the public discourse, despite a total that dwarfs all retail theft in America by an order of magnitude:

https://fair.org/home/wage-theft-is-built-into-the-business-models-of-many-industries/

America does have a property crime crisis, but it's a crisis of wage-theft, not shoplifting. Likewise, America does have a retirement crisis: it's a crisis of inequality, not intergenerational conflict.

Social Security has been under sustained assault since its inception, and that's in large part due to a massive blunder on the part of FDR. Roosevelt believed that people would be more protective of Social Security if they thought it was funded by their taxes: "we bought it, it's ours." But – as FDR well knew – that's not how government spending works.

The US government can't run out of US dollars. The US government doesn't get its dollars for spending from your taxes. The US government spends money into existence and taxes it out of existence:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/12/14/situation-normal/#mmt

A moment's thought will reveal that it has to be this way. The US government (and its fiscal agents, chartered banks) are the only source of dollars. How can the US tax dollars away from earners unless it has first spent those dollars into the economy?

The point of taxation isn't to fund programs, it's to reduce the private sector's spending power so that there are things for sale to the public sector. If we only spent money into the economy but didn't take any out of the economy, the private sector would have so many dollars to spend that any time the government tried to buy something, there'd be a bidding war that would result in massive price spikes.

When a government runs a "balanced budget," that means that it has taxed as much out of the economy as it put into the economy at the start of the year. When a government runs a "surplus," that means it's left less money in the economy at the end of the year than there was at the beginning of the year. This is fine if the economy has contracted overall, but if the economy stayed constant or grew, that means there are fewer dollars chasing more goods and services, which leads to deflation and all kinds of toxic outcomes, like borrowing more bank-created money, which makes the finance sector richer and the real economy poorer.

Of course, most governments run "deficits" – which is another way of saying that they leave more dollars in the economy at the end of the year than there was at the start of the year, or, put another way, a deficit probably means that your economy got bigger, so it needed more dollars.

None of this means that governments can spend without limit. But it does mean that governments can buy anything that's for sale in their own currency. There are a lot of goods for sale in US dollars, both goods that are produced domestically and goods from abroad (this is why it's such a big deal that most of the world's oil is priced in dollars).

Governments do have to worry about getting into bidding wars with the private sector. To do that, governments come up with ways of reducing the private sector's spending power. One way to do that is taxes – just taking money away from us at the end of the year and annihilating it. Another way is to ration goods – think of WWII, or the direct economic interventions during the covid lockdowns. A third way is to sell bonds, which is just a roundabout way of getting us to promise not to spend some of our dollars for a while, in return for a smaller number of dollars in interest payments:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/08/howard-dino/#payfors

FDR knew all of this, but he still told the American people that their taxes were funding Social Security, thinking that this would protect the program. This backfired terribly. Today, Democrats have embraced the myth that taxes fund spending and join with their Republican counterparts in insisting that all spending must be accompanied by either taxes or cuts (AKA "payfors").

These Democrats voluntarily put their own policymaking powers in chains, refusing to take any action on behalf of the American people unless they can sell a tax increase or a budget cut. They insist that we can't have nice things until we make billionaires poor – which is the same as saying that we can't have nice things, period.

There are damned good reasons to make billionaires poor. The legitimacy of the American system is incompatible with the perception that wealth and power are fixed by birth, and that the rich and powerful don't have to play by the rules.

The capture of America's institutions – legislatures, courts, regulators – by the rich and powerful is a ghastly situation, and to reverse it, we'll need all the help we can get. Every hour that Americans spend worrying about their how they'll pay their rent, their medical bills, or their student loans is an hour lost to the fight against oligarchy and corruption.

In other words, it's not true that we can't have nice things until we get rid of billionaires – rather, we can't get rid of billionaires until we have nice things.

This is the premise of my next novel, The Lost Cause, which comes out on November 14; it's set in a world where care and solidarity have unleashed millions of people on the project of maintaining the habitability of our planet amidst the polycrisis:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865939/the-lost-cause

It's a fundamentally hopeful book, and it's already won praise from Naomi Klein, Rebecca Solnit, Bill McKibben and Kim Stanley Robinson. I wrote it while thinking through and researching these issues. Conservatives want us to think that we can't do better than this, that – to quote Margaret Thatcher – "there is no alternative." Replacing that narrative is critical to the kinds of mass mobilizations that our very survival depends on.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/intergenerational-warfare/#five-pound-blocks-of-cheese

This Saturday (Nov 4), I'm keynoting the Hackaday Supercon in Pasadena, CA.

[deathbyathousandspiders]

“ cuddle–bugs. „

(( REQUEST PART THREE ))

mcu!peter parker x reader.

!!! read part one | part two | part four | part five here !!!

IN WHICH — you fell asleep on your best friend during movie night and the avengers won’t let you live it down. meanwhile, peter plans to ask you out, but an old friend of yours gets in the way :0

✨masterlist.✨

3.2k.

It felt good for you to finally get some sleep. It seemed like sleeping cuddled next to Peter was the perfect remedy for your sudden insomnia. You wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Waking up in his arms, his biceps snug around you; his quiet snores that still sang through your thoughts. Their melody, and the leftover fumes of his cologne, kept you in a peppy mood. That, and Harley’s holiday visit.

You hadn’t seen Harley in what felt like a year, despite how it had only been a few months. Still, as much as seeing your friend got you excited, the whole Peter–debacle kept you in a tizzy.

Tony had asked you to help circuit a drone prototype in his lab, which gave you a great opportunity to dwell on the fact that Peter definitely saw the framed photo Sam took of the two of you. And read the sticky note. The thought still made your heart rate spike a little, but you couldn’t decipher what it was stemming from.

Part of this made you feel giddy. It gave you a chance to open the bottled up feelings you’ve been rejecting for Peter, and really, truly, encourage them. The other part, however, made you incredibly nervous. Anxious, even. He could react in a way that would completely redefine the long–term friendship that you two had.

His response could either be something equally as smitten, or something that’d haunt you for the rest of your life. It was conflicting, but also you knew that at a certain point, you wouldn’t be able to hide from your feelings anymore. Peter would inevitably find out. You just hoped that it wouldn’t ruin the way he looked at you.

While re–wiring the drone’s hardware, you began to spiral down the dark abyss of how badly this could end. He wouldn’t necessarily get angry with you. Peter Parker didn’t have an angered bone in his body; but this could very well, quite possibly, most definitely, create an incredibly uncomfortable atmosphere in your dynamic.

Fuck.

You wished he’d react the same way he did when you both found out you were superheroes, or when you’d both been recruited to be part of the Avengers. Peter had been your best friend for as long as you could remember. Would these feelings really change that much of it?

“There you are!” Peter’s voice from the doorframe disrupted your thoughts. You immediately felt the way your heart leapt in your chest.

You did hope that things wouldn’t change because of a dumb crush. However, you’d be lying if you said it didn’t feel like things with the two of you were changing already.

Quickly, you glanced over your shoulder, careful not to distract your work. The way Peter walked over to you seemed radiant; he was glowing, and it wasn’t just because he looked fresh out of the shower. He smiled at you, toothy and spritely. The way it suited his energy was contagious, and spread a small grin right to your lips. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He added, prancing up beside you.

Your focus went back to the drone, mostly because you wanted to hide from the inevitable blush that coated your complexion. “Oh yeah?” You mused, cheeky. “How come?”

Peter leaned his back against the desk you were working at. He kept a comfortable distance from you, but a bit less than usual. You only noticed because his body heat nearly overloaded your system. You cleared the invisible tickle from your throat, feeling the urge to try and hide what felt like vulnerability.

“I wanted to show you my new lockscreen.” His tone outlined his smile audibly. Peter excitedly showed you the addition to his phone, as though he’d been rehearsing it. You felt the way your eyes widened and your face flush at the photo. The same photo that was framed at your bedside. “Sam sent it to me.” He added the detail once you saw it.

Your eyes met. You could feel the playful demeanor that Peter had been camouflaging. He knew exactly what he was doing, and by the dorky expression on his face, you knew that your reaction was exactly what he’d been hoping for.

Dropping the hardware tools beside the drone, you used slow movements. You needed to get his phone. The power he had with that photo was too much for him, and it was already getting to his head. Your hand plunged towards the device, but Peter dodged your reach like he was one step ahead of you. He was always one step ahead of you.

“Peter Benjamin Parker.” You fought back your smile by trying to use a disciplinary tone, but your laughter won the battle. He took paces backwards, and you followed his movement. “Give me your cell phone!”

He laughed, raising a brow. “You want my phone?” He was playing coy, teasingly. “You’re just jealous of my lockscreen.” You two traveled around the large laboratory, him still walking backwards like it was nothing. “I could just AirDrop it to you, if you want it so bad–”

Leaping forward, he dodged you again. He was having too much fun with this, waving his phone in front of your face like a chew toy. “You’re so evil.” Your playful glare was one of Peter’s favorite looks of yours. He took it in like he was taking a picture of it.

His brow arched again, mocking you. “Am I really?” He bantered. You had to admit: as stubborn as you could be, Peter’s playful spirit was something you always enjoyed. And the banter was absolutely riveting to partake in.

Peter’s laughter filled the room as you started to chase him. He was skilled walking backwards, but running was an entirely different story. The two of you practically chased your tails around each other; Peter holding his phone high above you, and you eagerly sprinting and jumping up to try and grasp it.

In the thick of the moment, you’d finally caught up to him. Body to body. Chest to chest. His arm was still extended to the ceiling, phone held to the sky, but his focus was completely captured by you. Your eye contact was thick, and your little fits of giggles halted to a stop at the rousing tension.

Damp strands of curls fell in front of his face as he studied you, eyes tracing features of your face that he’d already memorized. The scent of his shower would’ve sent your head in a pother, if not for the feeling of your bodies melding together. You could feel his heart racing through the mere fabrics of your shirts; you were certain he felt the speedy rhythm of yours, too.

His arm slowly lowered back to his side, but you both could care less about his lockscreen right now. You kept your eyes tied to his, keeping up with the silent conversation you were having. Peter’s mouth opened, dry as he scrambled to find his words. “Y/N..” His voice was soft, gentle. “I need to ask you something.”

Curious and confused, you tilted your head a little. “Ask me what–?”

“Y/N!” You heard your name called from the doorframe. Both you and Peter shifted your focus to meet the interruption, finding Harley waiting impatiently. “C’mon! I’ve got something to show you.” How inconvenient.

A look of apology shadowed your face when you looked back up at Peter. “Can you ask me later?” It was the last thing you wanted to ask, but you couldn’t keep Harley waiting; the subtle tapping of his foot caused guilt to nag at your focus.

Both you and Peter peeled away from each other, slowly. It felt unnatural, especially considering that neither of you had the strength to break eye contact.

Peter forced a smile, though you could tell there was disappointment behind it. “Yeah! Yeah. Go.” He waved at Harley, noticing the small glare that accompanied the mirrored action back. “I’ll catch you later.”

He watched you smile at him before running off with Harley. That was how things had been since he’d returned from school.

Harley was always the first to bid for your attention, or drag you out of a room when you and Peter found yourselves alone in it. He was the ultimate cockblock, and a jealous one at that.

Peter had enough trust in you and your friendship to know that there was no competition for his spot as your best friend. However, now his hat was in the ring for a new title: your boyfriend.

Harley could one–up him there.

Peter still had hope after his talk with Sam in the kitchen yesterday morning. He finally felt the courage he needed to ask you out. To ask if you felt the same way. But Harley didn’t make his conquest any easier. In fact, he’d done nothing but get in his way. It was almost like Harley knew what Peter was trying to do.

Last night was Sam’s pick for team movie night. Of course, Sam chose a festive rom–com; he chose The Holiday, and sent Peter a little wink as he cued up the movie. This was an opportunity, and Peter wasn’t going to take it for granted. However, Harley wasn’t going to let Peter have it that easy, either.

As Peter sat beside you, Harley sat on the other side of you, arm draped over the back of the couch. Right where Peter wanted his to be. He noticed how stiff you were, and the way you awkwardly kicked your feet as the movie played.

The memory played through Peter’s head all day, especially while this question burned in his throat. He’d never been so eager to ask you something; so compelled to know the response you’d give him.

Part of him was scared. Just a small part of him. He knew it was a gamble to try and enhance your relationship. You’d either reciprocate the emotions he had for you, or the friendship would go through a little awkward fit. Either way, Peter knew it was a growing experience. He was willing to risk it if it meant getting to spend time with you romantically.

Harley just seemed to anticipate every chance you and Peter caught a moment alone.

Peter wasn’t planning to give up just yet.

And neither were you.

You did enjoy your time with Harley, but it felt like he was pushing it a little. Occasionally, you had the habit of cluelessness, but even now, the inkling that Harley was getting at something felt stronger than ever.

“C’mon, Keener.” You pressed him, trying to get the boy to crack. “It’s like you’re holding me hostage here.” For the past hour, you’d been trying to leave to go find Peter. Your hands went up in defense when Harley shot a look of surprise at you. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve missed you too, but I’ve–”

That’s when it hit you. Harley was getting at something. Something big. The look he shot at you was overwhelming. You couldn’t quite grasp what he was trying to express to you, but you could tell that he was about to tell you.

He took a breath, slicing through the deafening quiet. “Y/N, I need to ask you something.” His tone was stern, precise. He’d been practicing this, you were sure of it.

Your posture straightened out. From how it sounded, this seemed really serious. Your whole demeanor shifted, stilled. “Yeah, anything.” The last thing you wanted was for Harley to feel like he couldn’t tell you something.

Harley stared into your eyes, grounding you for a moment. You could feel just how much you were anticipating the question, and just how slowly the world spun before he spat out the words. It reminded you of how Peter had something to ask you, too. You wondered just how serious of a question Peter’s was–

“Would you go out with me? Li–like on a date?”

You froze. A date? A date with Harley?

It felt wrong for your thoughts to be consumed by anybody else in this moment, yet they were. Shoulders slumping, you gave him a sympathetic smile. “Harley, I’m flattered, but I—”

He interrupted you. “You have feelings for someone else?” His question came out like a scoff, almost like he was trying to beat you at answering him. “Parker, right?”

And in that moment, when your heart swelled and your cheeks flushed, you finally accepted it. Your posture settled a little, and the breath you’d been holding for the past few days finally released itself. “Yeah.. Yeah, I do.” Your lips curved sympathetically, not wanting to put salt in Harley’s wound. “Y’know, I still appreciate you though, right?”

Harley smiled at you, “Yeah, yeah, whatever..” He laughed quietly. “Now, go find your love–bug boyfriend. I’m sure he’s dying to see you.”

With a grin on your face, and a bittersweet farewell to Harley, you went on your way to find Peter. You knew that rejecting Harley shouldn’t have been as inspiring to you as it ended up being. Now more that ever, you felt determined to ask Peter out. Whether he was planning to ask you or you ask him, you weren’t going to give up until you had a date set on the calendar.

Turning the hallway corner, you found yourself rounding to the kitchen, following the faint sound of Peter’s voice. Waltzing with his words was the sound of Sam’s too, conversing with your best friend. You paused in your tracks, listening in on their conversation til you had a good time to intervene.

Tiny klanks and clinks of spoon on mug came from further away, muffled under Sam as he spoke, “You going to the holiday party tomorrow night?” He asked, “I heard there’s gonna be mistletoe.” You could hear the way his voice shaped into his mug as he took a loud sip of his drink, “You should take Y/N and go find it.”

Heat flooded your face at how forward Sam was, and at the idea of kissing Peter. It was thrilling to think that in just twenty–four hours, you could be kissing Peter Parker. You wouldn’t have to avoid him anymore, you could freely sit with him and express your feelings–

A sigh could be heard from closer than anticipated. A sigh that sounded dejected, conflicted. Rejecting. Ouch. You slowly crept around the corner, eying Peter’s back as he replied to Sam.

“I’m not gonna do that. I can’t.” Peter seemed to hesitate, but that didn’t take away from how much it hurt. “I just don’t want..”

“You don’t want to kiss me?” You found your place to interject, now standing in view of Sam and Peter’s back.

As Peter turned to look at you, it didn’t take much to notice the way his heart was in his throat. His whole body was stiff with regret, and his hands held the air in front of him like there was something to fix. But there wasn’t; you had your answer.

Peter Parker didn’t love you like that.

“Y/N, I–” Even as he took steps towards you, it felt like he only got further away from you. You put space between the two of you, a hand coming out to emphasize the physical boundary you needed.

You shut your eyes for a second, taking a breather. Keeping your composure was your main focus. “No, no. It’s fine.” You tried to keep earnesty and understanding in your tone. “But you don’t have to make kissing your best friend seem like such a chore.” You snapped a bit more intensely than you’d intended, but you needed to. You had to leave.

One more breath and you left, unable to look Peter in the eye again before you made your way to your room. You hated how the look on his face stuck in your brain like some traumatic flashback. The look in his eyes when he saw you was almost as hurt as you were. It didn’t make sense.

Making your way into your room, a knock interrupted your peace of mind. Holding off on processing your rejection, you turned and met eyes with Sam. You didn’t know whether it was a welcomed company or something you wanted to turn away.

Before you could open your mouth, Sam spoke up.

“I know what happened back there wasn’t.. The best, but I swear it was–”

“Sam.” The words came out shorter than you were used to. “If you’re here to talk to me about that, I don’t want to hear it.”

It sucked. You hated the feeling of being rejected. It also felt so much heavier because you’d already been avoiding Peter, you’d already been missing his company; now, you felt like you had more reason to steer clear of him. You hated it. You hated how much it hurt you.

Shaking his head, Sam got on task. “Right, okay.” His tone became less sympathetic, but his expression still said everything that his words didn’t. “Buck and I were assigned to stakeout tomorrow, but our backup fell through. What Parker and I were talking about in the kitchen was if you and him could stakeout and then Buck and I could back–up for you two.”

You blinked a few times. He was really asking you to do that? To sit in a car with Peter after he’d just ripped your heart out?

After thinking about it like that, you fully realized that Peter was oblivious to your heartbreak. He didn’t know he’d rejected you, and he was still your best friend. Maybe this was a sign, and something the two of you needed to do.

Sighing, you held back an eye roll. “Fine. I could do that.” You placed your hands on your hips, raising a brow at Sam. “Did Peter agree to it?”

“Cuddle–bug said that as long as you were okay with it, he’d be more than happy to.”

Hearing the nickname lodged a dagger in a spot you didn’t think was reachable. God, it hurt. It might get worse with this mission, but you also knew that you’d never forgive yourself if you’d fully pushed Peter away.

“Okay. Then tell him to meet me in the garage tomorrow morning.”

Sam seemed to respect the boundary, and let you be after you’d given him the request. You didn’t have the stomach to see Peter before the stakeout, and you knew you’d have to prepare yourself quite a bit before you’d have to spend god knows how long with him tomorrow. Alone.

God knows how long you’d have to spend with him alone, in a car, doing nothing.

You were planning to kill Sam when you got back, especially if this was some kind of ruse to set up you and your best friend.

tag–list : @helen-on-earth @ellebutnotwoods @luvherfairy @agaybandgeek @lazy4teen @hufflepuff-n-fluff @petersparkerss @tommysfrog @zelzablues @mavex @thatmarvelchick19 @parkersmaterialgirl @justtuesdays @coralineyouareinterribledanger

[lovelettersforthedamned]

“are we going to talk, or are you going to keep walking away from me.” with peter parker butttt maybe with a happy ending :)

Don’t Be A Stranger

--genre: fluff & angst

--pairing: college!tasm!peter parker x college!gn!reader

--word count: 0.8k

--warnings: mentions of drinking, mentions of being drunk, angst, fluff, language, peter is mean in the beginning.

--gif credits: the very talented, the very amazing, @sincericida

You wish you weren’t here right now, but you needed to be. Your friend, Erica, called you, slurring her words, and clearly not in the right state of mind to be out like this. As soon as she hung up, you made your way downstairs and walked to her location, the party only being a few blocks away. 

A crowded, smelly, and sticky house party was the last place you wanted to be tonight. You’re still in your pajamas, your current state barely making you the center of attention though, the people around you too gone to notice. 

The only person that did notice you was Peter, of fucking course, locking eyes with him from across the packed kitchen. You knew he’d been having a hard time lately, his temper teetering on the edge of madness. In the beginning, you thought that being there for him would be helpful, but god were you wrong. 

Peter blew up on you, and it wasn’t something that was resolved quickly. His words were not stopping as soon as he found something, or someone, to go off on. It seemed to never end, it was like his mouth was spewing hate, and it just so happened to reach you. 

Peter has never done anything like that before, never. So when it did, you stepped back in shock, how could your Peter say such awful things to you? There was a slight hesitation as you left his apartment, heading straight for yours. His voice was faint as you stormed out, hearing a soft ‘baby, wait’. That was a week ago. 

Seeing him at the party was the first time you’ve seen him since then, your heart beating fast and hard the second you two made eye contact. Setting his cup down, he starts to walk towards you, a sense of urgency in his step. You needed to find Erica, you didn’t have time for this. As if on cue, the girl you’ve been looking for attacks you in a bear hug. “(Y/N)! I’ve been looking for you all night,” her voice suddenly became very loud in your ear.

You hold her up, putting one arm around her torso, “I just got here?”

“Oh, right,” Erica’s eyes suddenly droopy, “I wanna go home.”

With that, you started walking very slowly towards the door until a familiar voice called out your name. Turning your head, you see your boyfriend, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. You ignore him and keep walking, Erica is too out of it to realize the situation at hand. 

Peter calls out for you once again, the noise level lowering as you three make your way away from the commotion, “Are we going to talk, or are you going to keep walking away from me?”

You were face to face with the door when he said that, taking a breath before twisting the handle and pulling it open. Without missing a beat you reply, “I don’t know, are you going to yell and berate me again?” 

You only make it a few steps past the threshold before Erica's dead weight becomes too much for you to handle, slowly pulling you to the floor. But Peter’s stronghold prevents you from fully collapsing. He’s situated himself on the other side of her, slinging her arm on top of his shoulder and wrapping his other arm around her back, his hand coming close to touching yours. Now you really couldn’t escape him. 

He wastes no time before speaking again, the silence of the elevator making you anxious “Bug, I’m so fucking sorry. I shouldn’t have blown up at you like that. I want to use my shitty few weeks as an excuse, but truthfully there is no excuse for the way I spoke to you. God, I’m so sorry (Y/N). This will never happen again, and I swear by that.”

Making your way down to the ground floor, you gaze up at Peter with a conflicting look. You know that what he did was wrong, there’s no doubt about that, but why was it so easy for you to forgive him? He slides his hand towards yours, connecting you two together for the first time in a week. You hate to admit that you have missed his touch, the one thing that could make you crumble. 

“I accept your apology, but let’s get her home, she’s pretty out of it.” 

With a nod, you and Peter walk to her apartment, leaving her with her boyfriend who couldn’t make it tonight. 

Walking back onto the dark street, you look up at Peter. You grab his hand, “Sleep over tonight?”

He squeezes your hand, “We’re okay, right?”

“Yeah,” you sigh, “we’re okay, Pete.”

--author's note: a small break from the steamy hot smut! thank you nonnie for submitting this!! i'm always a sucker for some angst tbh, and i love peter;) keep sending in requests!! my inbox is open and my 200 follower celebration is happening right now babe, what's stopping you?? don't forget to like, comment, and reblog if you see something you like. ok, bye ily<333

[donde-quiera]

○ WHEN FALLING FOR YOU ⨟ HEADCANONS

peter pevensie x gn!reader — aslan help him. ↬ fluff!

• ha whipped

• boy oh boy who would have thought that rallying armies and talking to someone you fancy would be two entirely different battles.

• he’s painfully aware of how his High King™️ persona falters around you.

• he wants so badly to exude that regal composure and charm, but instead he's clearing his throat to stall for time to articulate properly after you hold his gaze for too long.

• he’s mortified and more than a little vexed. you think it’s endearing.

• truth is, between stumbling through wars and acting as the head of narnian nobility he hasn’t had the chance to really court someone.

• lucy brings up the topic most often and he humors her by rolling his eyes and saying he’ll cross that bridge when he gets there.

• (except he is now falling off that bridge.)

• he always held you in high regard and in the back of his mind he dreaded the inevitable moment those feelings softed into romantic attraction.

• now they have and it sucks. he’s conflicted and may avoid you for a bit because he's very aware of the implications of courting a king. the high king. of narnia.

• this kinda backfires on him though because the more he withdraws the more worried you get, and the more he can imagine you next to him in cair paravel.

• so finally — for once — he goes to susan.

• after hearing him out she tells him you might not even feel the same anyway dummy to stop being so serious about it. he may be high king but that doesn’t mean he has to pressure himself into finding narnia’s next addition to the throne room. he has to decide if he’s even happy with the person first. (and to put a little more faith in you too. if there’s anyone who would be understanding about the situation it would be you.)

• she’s right so with that in mind he lets himself stare at you from across the courtyard more often.

• his attention has wandered to you on more than one occasion during council gatherings and he’ll blink when someone finally asks his opinion.

• “is . . . his highness feeling al-” “yes — do continue.”

• now susan probably off-handedly told lucy, and lucy immediately told edmund. (god no.)

• edmund finds the entire situation beyond amusing and will proceed to raise actual hell for his brother.

• peter’s blood pressure is that much higher because of this.

• edmund will ask you to help look for something in a room he knows peter just entered.

• or one time in the middle of a social event after lucy complimented your newly sewn clothes, “i agree, the color is quite befitting. what do you think, peter? do you think the color is quite befitting?”

• peter’s glare would have been sharper if he wasn’t coughing into his drink.

• gremlin behavior.

• if you’re on the quieter side he always gets the room to shut up settle down so you can share your thoughts;

• which doesn’t take much because most of the courtesans consider you his betrothed anyway jfjdjd

• “your grace was most eloquent during the meeting this morning.” “oh, thank you . . . but i’m not-” “royalty? i beg your pardon; i merely presumed!” which leaves you oddly flattered and very confused.

• if you adjust the tunic of his armor, tap his visor, and wish him luck for a tournament he’ll give you a tight-lipped smile before tugging it down and striding away to hide his warm cheeks.

• god help whoever has the audacity to smartmouth you around him. though not that anyone would, considering both your reputations among the narnians but also because if anyone did they’d be in for a cold shot of english sarcasm.

• lucy thinks you guys are the cutest and he’s much more accepting of her comments compared to ed’s teasing.

• but joke's on you because if edmund is in charge of teasing peter, lucy is the one poking you.

• “so what do you think of peter?” “well, he’s brave, decisive, and-” “yes, yes, of course, but what do you really think of him?”

• she’s all smiley when you avert your eyes and say you guess you’re fond of him.

• susan is just happy to have another level head around and thinks you’re good for her brother plus you don’t put up with his shit

• you’re the only one he listens to.

• when he inevitably loses his patience with someone one disappointed look from you has him begrudgingly apologizing, and the siblings aren’t sure whether to be jealous or impressed.

• cue them occasionally taking advantage of this because when else are they gonna get this opportunity?

• “peter said i shouldn’t ride side saddle!” “what? peter, why?” “because she’s more likely to fall off that way.” “your sister has endured a lot worse than falling off a horse, pete.” “see?” “oh, alright.”

• even susan, “i think we should make camp by the stream.” “yes, but the trees provide more shelter from the wind.” “flowers grow close to the stream.” she says it like it's obvious. his finger taps his sheath. he’s looking at the water. “you could give a flower to-” “fine.”

• he did give you that flower. it was purple and you liked it a lot. what you didn’t notice was lucy giving him an enthusiastic thumbs up from behind a bush and susan elbowing ed for rolling his eyes.

— con amor; drink your water or i’ll find you <3

[spidernerdsblog]

It's always you

A/N : This lovely concept was @starlight-starks idea ❤️ Hope you guys like this. Let me know what you think.

Summary : Peter has skipped your fourth weekly movie night and you aren't very happy about it.

Pairing : tasm! Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings : angst, fluff, mutual pining

Your phone pings with a text message, thinking it must be Peter you eagerly reach for it to let out a disappointed sigh when you read the text.

Gwen wants me to help her with the robotics project. Raincheck?

Sure. You type back.

Sorry, I know it was our weekly movie night.

Yeah the fourth movie night in a row to be exact as you look at the large popcorn bowl sitting on the coffee table you had prepared and he chose to ditch you again.

Don’t worry I’ll be fine. Goodluck with the project 👍 you reply.

I’ll make it up to you. I promise :)

You read his text and lock your phone before tossing it to the side on the couch. Grabbing the tv remote you scroll through the wide selection of movies, choosing one in random you press play. You then pick up the popcorn bowl and start munching on them all alone in your apartment. The sound of the movie playing drones in the background as you get lost in your own thoughts.  

You and Peter were slowly growing apart, the niggling worry has been eating you up from the inside lately.  And you knew if you had voiced your worries to Peter he would have clearly dismissed you saying you’re being silly. 

But you needed that reassurance from him even more now because you were aware of the little crush he had on Gwen. You didn’t want to appear as a jealous friend but the more they got closer the more insecure you felt. 

It is childish, you know, to cling to the pact you made when you were in middle school that whatever happens you will make time for each other. And these weekly movie nights were a sacred part of your friendship which you weren’t ready to give up for anyone. Hell you didn’t want to share him with anyone.

You stopped eating surprised at your own thoughts. Where did that come from? You wondered.

****

Saturday night there was a party at the Greek row. One of Harry’s frat brothers was celebrating his birthday so you and Peter were invited as well. After a few rounds of drinking and dancing you were all gathered around the couch playing truth or dare. Harry spins the bottle and it stops at you.

��Y/N it’s your turn. Truth or dare?” He waggles his eyebrows.

“Truth.” You declare.

“Boo boring!”

“I’m too drunk and I don’t trust you so much with your dares Mr. Osborn.” 

“You wound me Y/N.” Harry clutches his chest dramatically, appearing to be in pain. He then thinks for a second and asks. “Ok, the biggest lie you’ve ever told.”

“Hmmm well…” You think of an answer before replying. “Don’t worry about me, I'm fine.”

“Don’t we all say that?” Carin agrees sitting beside you.

“You know when we say I’m fine we're denying our true feelings and experiences; we're hoping to convince ourselves and others that everything really is okay.” Brody the tall and muscled quarterback of the football team adds in.

“Oh here we go.” Harry rolls his eyes.

“No, no it’s true we pretend to be fine to avoid conflicts.” Brody goes on. “Sharing our true feelings or opinions might cause someone to get angry with us and that's scary or at least uncomfortable.”

“Y/N this is your fault.” Harry scowls at you.

“What did I do?” You giggle.

“You know Brody turns into a psychology nerd when he is drunk.” 

“Well I think you need it even more given the fact you’re always running away from your problems.” You snicker and Harry gives you the finger.

Amidst all of your banter Peter’s mind was stuck on what you said as he tried to recall the number of times you’ve said those exact words to him. He was so lost in his thoughts that he startled when you snapped your fingers in front of him.

“Yo earth to Peter. You okay?”

“Yea..yeah.” Guilt washed over him anew as he looked at your smiling face. He had let you down but you never once complained or stayed mad at him. He had to make it up to you as soon as possible.

***

Next day after your classes ended for the day you are walking out of the university campus when you hear Peter call out your name.

“Y/N wait!” you turn around to see him running towards you. He stops in front of you panting, handing you a white envelope.

“What is this?” you frown pulling out a paper from inside it. 

VALID FOR ONE

One Full Day of Fun with your BFF.

Redeem by : Anytime   Expires : Never

You looked up at him cluelessly.

“This is a free coupon to a fun day with your best friend,” He explains, pointing a finger at himself.

“What?” You giggle with your brows raised in amusement.

“I know I’ve been a very bad friend lately.” Peter goes serious. “and I want to make it up to you.”

“That isn’t necessary Peter.” Your expression turns soft.

“Ah ah nothing of that. Tomorrow we do whatever you want.” He states.

“Well I’ve been meaning to visit this vintage bookstore I found online. We could go there I suppose.” You shrug.

“Ok done! Gotta go now, Psych class. See you tomorrow.” He drops a kiss on your cheek and runs back to the science building as you stand in your place trying to piece together everything that happened.

****

The doorbell chimes and you rush to open the door excitedly. Peter stands at the threshold with his hands in his pockets. His face lights up as soon as he sees you.

“Hey.” 

“Hi..” You smile.

“You look pretty.” He observes. 

“Thanks.” You blush, tucking your hair behind your ear. You had taken a considerable amount of time to decide what to wear today as if it was a date because honestly it felt like one. Finally you had chosen a pale pink knit sweater, blue jeans and ankle boots.

Together you walk towards the subway station and board a train. There are no empty seats so you stand at an empty corner. And like always Peter stands in front of you like a protective wall caging you with his body from the crowd of passengers. Your bodies pressed together as Peter peers down at you smiling and you smile back feeling a giddiness inside your stomach.

Twenty minutes later you get off the train and begin walking along the sidewalk. The map showed the shop was just around the corner of the street. So it was as you stood in front of a small antique bookstore.

The bell chimes overhead as you push the door open. The scent of old books hits you as your eyes take in the cozy interior of the shop. Tall wooden shelves lined with stacks of books illuminated by the soft glow of the yellow lights overhead and you thought you’ve gone to heaven.

You run your fingers through the spines of the books; some are leatherbound with their beautiful gold detailings still intact.

“OH MY GOD!! Look at this!” You hear Peter squeal excitedly from the other side. “This is the original Lord of the rings book set from the time it was first published and it has the author’s signature too!” 

You laugh seeing Peter’s face light up like a child on a christmas morning.

“This place is so cool!” He announces.

“I know right?” you say smugly.

“You kids find anything you like?” An old man emerges from the back of the shop.

“Yes, how much for this book set?” Peter asks.

“That will be $130.” He answers. Peter’s face falls hearing the price.

“Oh I don’t have that much at the moment.” 

You would have lent him a few bucks if you could but after paying rent and your monthly supplies you were as broke as him.

“It’s ok we can come back for it later.” You rub up and down his arm soothingly.

“I say what boy you give me $20 for now I’ll hold that book for you until you pay the full amount.” he proposes.

“You would do that?” Peter’s expression turns hopeful.

“Yeah why not? You seem to really want that.” He chuckles.

“Thank you.” Peter says bashfully.

After paying the old man you took a stroll through the central park eating your favorite ice creams before catching a subway back to your home.

As soon as you got into your apartment Peter had quickly changed into his spare clothes he kept at your place due to the amount of time he stays overnight. 

You walk out of your room changing into your comfy pajamas and stop at the doorway to watch Peter in the kitchen heating some popcorn to eat while watching the movie you had chosen.

Peter feels your eyes on you and looks up. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing, it's just been awhile seeing you in my apartment.” You say plopping down on the couch as you lean forward to grab the remote from the coffee table to switch on the tv.

Peter carries the bowl of popcorn and places it on the table and sits down beside you. “Hey” He reaches to take your hands in his. “I’m sorry for bailing on you all those times. I promise it won’t happen again.”

“It’s ok, Peter.” You lovingly cup the side of his face. “Besides being spiderman you’ve your own life too. I can't monopolize all your time.”

“Don’t you even think of that.” His expression turns serious as he holds your hand a little tighter. “You will always come first to me no matter what.”

“Aww I’m honored Parker.” You joke trying to lighten the mood.

“I mean it Y/N.” He says unamused.

“Ok, ok tiger calm down. You’re important to me too Peter now can we start watching the movie?” He nods and leans back, getting comfortable on the couch as you press play.

The movie starts and you sidle closer to him to rest your head on his shoulder putting a throw blanket around yourselves.

By the time the movie ends you were fast asleep all cuddled up against him. Peter looks down at your face so calm and beautiful. You let out a small sigh and snuggle closer to him. 

Peter smiles and reaches to brush off a strand of your hair falling over your face. On many occasions during a movie night you both have ended up cuddling together but somehow today it feels a lot more intimate. You in his arms feel so right as if you belong to him and he belongs to you.

It feels like home.

He has been keeping a secret from you and that was one of the reasons he bailed out those few nights. He was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you. And he was scared that if he were alone with you he would act out on those feelings. And what if you didn’t feel the same for him? 

..................................................................................

[man049]

After finally getting around to watching Kill The Moon I was very much surprised, pleasantly in fact.

While the abortion metaphor is 100% a valid reading you can make of the story, I don't buy it being the true conflict and message of the episode. Knowing that apparently Peter Harness didn't intend this to be an abortion metaphor, I can let it pass as what is probably a writer's political views subconsciously leaking into the script.

Judging the story literally and not metaphorically. It's about choosing if it's right/worth to kill an innocent being to save the lives of many.

This is literally the trolley problem.

Then you remember that this episode works as a sort of prelude for Mummy On The Orient Express and the true intentions of this episode come to light.

This is a story about having no "good choices", about taking risks when you aren't sure what's going to happen.

Clara is put way more in a bad light than what most people say. Clara is left speechless and with no counter arguments to what Lundwik argues and concedes to letting earth decide. When she finally pushes the button it was clearly a sudden and irrational move.

Clara outright says she didn't know what was going to happen, that she wasn't planning to press the button. Clara didn't make this choice because of knowing what was for the best, she did it because she couldn't bear the weight of intentionally killing an innocent being. She gambled, she took a leap of faith and it paid off.

Beyond the choice itself. Another big aspect of the episode is why The Doctor put Clara in this situation.

The Doctor is lonely. Everybody knows that. But even when companions are close to him, he still feels alone because there's nobody in the universe like him.

He can relate to some, but there's always a thing or two getting in the way (for example Time Lords being dead). So he craves, he strongly craves for someone like him. When The Doctor is asked why he wants to rehabilitate Missy a big reason he gives is the fact she is the only person somewhat similar to him.

The Doctor desires someone he can relate to so badly it makes him want to redeem the person who destroyed 1/4 of the universe.

And now in an adventure with her he finds a situation in which they have to decide if they are willing to stop the birth of a living being to save the lives of many? That sounds familiar.

Just like Nine brought Rose to the future so she could also experience what it's like seeing your planet explode and be the last member of your species, Twelve put Clara in this situation so she could experience what it's like to be the one who makes the big choices.

The Doctor all the time makes decisions that affect the lives of many. Decisions that most of the time he isn't sure if they will work. He risks it all every day. It brings him a lot of pain but he feels forced to do it because he thinks no one else can. He always has to save humanity because he thinks none of them could do what he does.

This... Sadly brings out the uncomfortable truth. Which is that The Doctor does look down upon humans. Don't get me wrong, he adores them, he would give it all to be like them. But he is aware that he considers himself superior to humanity, which is a side of him he (usually) tries to keep in check.

Humanity is for The Doctor what animals are for humanity. We love animals, we admire what they can do and even envy them in some areas, but we still don't consider them as capable, as intelligent as us.

This side of The Doctor can be seen as far back as the first episode of the revival. Calling humans stupid apes, and describing them as a species on it's first baby steps. Because of it, he wants them to be better, he knows how amazing they can and will be and wants them to achieve their potential.

What I'm getting at is that he feels like he is the only one who has to make the big choices, he feels alone taking that burden. But at the same time, he likes it, he enjoys taking these decisions, and he would be more than pleased to have someone right by his side taking them as well.

This is about nurturing Clara into becoming something greater. In his eyes, this means stop being a little human and grow to be the tiniest little bit similar to him.

All of this makes me remember that one moment in The End Of Time Part 2.

The Doctor said humans look like giants, he never said they look bigger than him.

[deusvervewrites]

The First Line

A lot of people out there will tell you that the first line of a novel is the most important. I've seen the wisdom that the first line must grab the readers attention, be some kind of a "hook" to draw them in deeper, or to tonally reflect the main themes. That the first line needs to throw the reader into the thick of it!

But how true is that really? It's been nagging me for a while now as someone who has started more fics than I've completed.

Out of curiosity, I grabbed a handful of my favorite novels and compiled their first lines.

"There are many legends about my mother." Daughter of the Moon Goddess, Sue Lynn Tan

This line doesn't really establish much about the plot of this book. Not the narrator's name, goal, conflict, or even the setting. We can make some inferences from the existence of legends around someone, but 'legendary' only narrows anything down because of the book's title. It is, however, indicative of the narration style and the novel's prose.

"Mary Jekyll stared down at her mother's coffin." The Strange Case of the Alchemist's Daughter, Theodora Cross

This line puts us right into a scene. Some real In Medias Res. Except... it's not really an action scene. It's a somber affair. And from Mary's staring, it's safe to say she has some heavy thoughts on the matter.

We can also make some assumptions from the wording choice. Looking down at the coffin suggests that she is standing over it, so we know at once this takes place during the funeral.

Interestingly--and I'm going to break my soft rule of not addressing the rest of the text here--this line does not allude to the novel's framing device.

"The temperature of the room dropped fast." Bartimaeus: The Amulet of Samarkand, Jonathan Stroud

This is another opening that's setting a scene instead of trying to introduce us to the cast or conflict, or even to the setting. Why is it getting colder? We can infer from the fact that the temperature is dropping fast that this probably isn't a good thing or at least not a normal thing.

"I've seen Steelheart bleed." Steelheart, Brandon Sanderson

This line fascinates me. It says a lot and, at the same time, very little. We know that someone named Steelheart exists, obviously. However, the narrator is giving gravitas to the sight of them bleeding. So we've already learned that Steelheart doesn't bleed very often, and seeing it was worth remembering. But who Steelheart is and why the narrator cares? Nothing in this line indicates that.

"Kendra stared out the side window of the SUV, watching foliage blur past." Fablehaven, Brandon Mull

I think this is the most relatable opening line I have listed here, since I can instantly in my mind picture the expression on Kendra's face knowing nothing else about her, or where she's going. We can guess she's probably not happy to be going there since she's staring out the window with what I would assume to be boredom. That's some conflict there. But, like, extremely minor conflict.

"The tired old carriage, pulled by two tired old horses, rumbled onto the wharf, its creaky wheels bumpety-bumping on the uneven planks, waking Peter from his restless slumber." Peter and the Starcatchers, Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson

Well this sentence rambled on a bit didn't it? But it's very evocative. It tells us very little about the story (beyond Peter's name) but it sets the scene beautifully. Not only is it evocative of the scenery, but the time period (from the horse-drawn carriage) and the tone as well. We also know that Peter wasn't sleeping very well, which indicates that he's either anxious about something or that sleeping in this carriage wasn't very easy. Or both.

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit." J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

This is the kind of line that would get me murdered by a lot of writing advice that I've seen over the years. This line tells you next to nothing, not even whether or not its weird for hobbits to live in holes. What this line does do is ease us into the narration style that Tolkien employs, which is generally slow and descriptive.

Okay...?

So what was the point of all of that?

Well, this experiment has solidified my opinion on something. As I said, I've been having thoughts about opening lines, but I think that the actual first line of the book is not as important as the first scene of the book. None of these lines out of context are that good. Sure, The Hobbit is iconic, but that's not because that line itself is phenomenal. It's practically "Once Upon A Time."

But it works for the scene.

The first scene is far more interesting to me than the first line. I'm not so impatient that if the first line fails to captivate me I'll toss the book aside. And I know that's true for other people because H. Bomberguy posted a four-hour video on plagiarism and we all watched it.

What this means, I think, is that we don't need to treat our audience as if we're in an arms race against their dwindling attention spans as if we'll lose them forever to TikTok if the first sentence isn't the pinnacle of literature.

People will give a work a chance. That's what the summary is for; to tell people if they'll like it so they can know to give it a try.

If you were afraid to write, or to share your writing, because you didn't think the first line was good enough... I don't think that matters. I think that people won't hate it. Won't turn up their noses in disgust.

[nothoughtsjusthoffstrahm]

I was just thinking and... Guys, I realized,,,

Strahm was actually the last thing that linked Hoffman with his own humanity

Because look, 🙏 when Strahm's still alive when he and Hoffman keep playing that cat and mouse game you can clearly see that he still keeps having doubts about whether he should be doing what he's doing, about whether what he's done so far is good or wrong, is it really any justice or not really - I think what proves this the most is that scene at which he looks at Angelina's picture and afterwards throws his promotion certificate(?) on his desk with evident resignation and something that looks like disgust even

It's only when Strahm ends up dying, when Hoffman looks at his dead body that it seems like something clicks inside him - his expressions when he's looking at it, then when he's picking up his hand, all of his conflicting emotions and thoughts seeming to flicker right in front of his eyes at that moment

As if the moment he saw what he's done to Strahm, as if the moment he basically lost someone that kept insistingly showing him that what he's doing is wrong, that looked at him with disgust for what he was doing, that beat the sh*t out of him for that - see, that's what I'm often talking about also, like I usually do joke about it in a "Hoffman is a wh0re" manner, but actually it very much seems to me that Mark wanted Peter to beat the sh*t out of him, he enjoyed it, because a part of him knew he deserved it for the things he's done so far

But going back to my point - the moment Strahm died, the moment he saw his smashed body was the moment when his humanity has been torn away from him as a person completely, the moment when any good nature and reason left him, because it's Peter's insults, remarks and him not wanting to let him get away with this was what was keeping him grounded to his own doubts about all of this

In a way, I feel like you can even say Strahm's death was also the death of Hoffman's good and rational, as well as careful side

The fact that he had an actual real opponent, that he saw an actual real enemy in Strahm that could make him pay for his actions very much keeping him grounded as well, because with their cat and mouse game he knew he couldn't let his guard down, because he knew Strahm's way too intelligent and it's clear that he very much respected that

The moment Strahm died Hoffman also felt like he could put his guard down, because he felt like he didn't have an actual, real opponent anymore that could stand in his way the way Peter did

The only opponent he ever held any regard for and thought was worth any effort was Strahm.