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my-status-single · 4 months

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The One Where Peter Parker Has a Baby Chapter 3

He’s four. His name is Ben. He’s with Happy. They won’t let him run to him. He’s four. His name is Ben. He’s with Happy. He can’t go to him. He’s four. His name is Ben. He’s safe with Happy. He’s safe. His name is Ben. He’s four. He’s Peter’s. She had been pregnant. It had been early. So early that it had been months before she even realised. Half of the universe disappeared, Peter included. And months later she had given birth to their son. Their son. Ben.

Fic Summary: Mostly canon compliant fic that centres around the relationship of Tony Stark's daughter and Peter Parker.

From the Author: This is a Peter Parker/Reader fic. It jumps back and forth between the "present" (after the blip is reversed) and the past (pre blip reversal). The main focus is Peter and our girl Y/N, but there will be exploration into other relationships as well. These include but are not limited to Tony/Steve Peter/Harley Harley/Harry Peter/Harley/Harry Steve/Bucky Tony/Stephen.

Each chapter will have content warnings listed that are specific to the chapter just for added security, there will also be a summary of the chapter if the content is something you don't want to engage with but would like to continue to the next chapter. There will also be a comprehensive list of warnings. The severity of these topics varies from very intense to simply implied. Be sure to check the individual chapters for more detailed descriptions of how these themes are used.

Fic Content Warning: Underage sex, unplanned pregnancy, teen pregnancy, polyamoury, child abuse/neglect, parental death, suicide, self harm, Tony Stark in Endgame

Please, if there is ever something in this or any of my fics that you feel needs a content warning, feel free to message me and I will make sure to add it.

I want this to be a safe place for everyone.

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From the author: Taglist is OPEN, just leave a comment or send me a dm xxx

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Wordcount: 825

Chapter Summary: Follows immediately after the first chapter. Peter learns more about what he’s missed

Chapter Warnings:Medical settings: YN is still in a coma, the chapter takes place in a hospital/medical centre, Peter thinks back to another situation involving a hospital Anxiety: Peter is going through it kids Depression: Tony implies that YN struggled with depression after the snap Overstimulation: Peter’s powers cause heightened senses and this is causing problems for him due to exhaustion and stress

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Detailed Chapter Summary: Peter learns some of what has happened in the last five years. Tony offers to let him meet Ben but Peter ultimately decides he wants to wait for YN before he does so.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ao3 Chapter 1 Chapter 2

May 2023

Peter lets out a deep breath as he half listens to what Tony is saying. His head is spinning and everything is becoming too bright. Everything hurts. And everything is loud. And if he doesn’t get control of himself he’s going to go into overload. Everything is just too much. “You can meet him if you want.” He manages to catch. He looks over at Tony.

“You can. He’s your son, we aren’t going to keep you from him.”

Peter swallows thickly. All he wants to do is meet him. But he doesn’t think he can without her. She…she had his baby, and she was all alone and…and he doesn’t want to become a father without her at his side.

“But, no one would blame you if you wanted to wait either.” Tony continues. “It’s a lot to take in. You’re already dealing with a lot. Ben won’t know one way or another.”

“Ben…” Peter says so softly, with an almost reverence. “She named him Ben.”

Tony nods. “I think it’s the only thing she’s sure of. That his name was meant to be Ben.”

Peter just looks over at him, a bit confused. “What?” He asks.

Tony hums. “When she found out she…she wasn’t doing well. She didn’t know anything she wanted or needed or how to handle any of it. But…she knew his name.” He says. “And since then she second guesses a lot. She convinces herself that she’s doing it wrong or that keeping him was unfair. But she knows she at least got that right.” He says. He sighs softly. “She’s got most of it right. That boy is…he’s so loved and she’s so good. She settled into motherhood so well that it was almost alarming. She loves that boy with everything in her.”

Peter nods slowly. “I…want to meet him, but I can’t leave right now.” He admits. “I need to be here. Near her.”

Tony nods. “I know. You already look stressed and she’s just in the next room.” He admits. “You two have always been so codependent.” He hums. “Is there anything you need, though? Anything you want to know?” He asks. “I’m sure she’ll tell you everything when shes woken up…but, in the meantime?”

Peter sighs and rubs his temples. “Just…are they okay?” He asks in a small voice.

Tony hums. “Right now, yes. For a while now.” He says. “Ben is healthy, and smart, and happy. He’s so loved. She’s so good with him. You’d be proud.”

Peter smiles tearfully. “Yeah?” He whispers.

Tony smiles and nods. “Yeah. She’s okay too. She…takes it a day at a time.” He admits.

Peter feels a painful pang in his heart at that, he closes his eyes.

“Losing you was…it was rough. On all of us. But she…” He sighs. “It took a lot out of her…and I don’t want you to feel guilty over that. It isn’t your fault. You couldn’t control it. And I need you to repeat that to yourself until you believe it.” He says sternly. “But I know you want to know things. I know you need to know about her.”

Peter swallows thickly. “I…okay. Okay, I’ll try.” He chokes out.

Tony squeezes his hand gently. “Go back to her. Try to get some sleep. With her. I don’t care what anyone has told you. You need to hold her and she needs to be held.” He says.

Peter nods slowly. “Thank you Tony.” He whispers and stands, legs a bit shaky.

“Kid?” Tony says, just as Peter is turning away. He hums and turns to look back at Tony.

“It’s…I’m glad you’re back.” He says to Peter so gently.

Peter smiles softly and nods.

He goes back to his girl then.

He settles beside her in her bed, brushing her hair back gently. She’s beautiful. Perfect. And he can’t quite fathom that he spent half a decade without her.

He studies her. Noticing the changes.

She’s older now. She’s lost some of the softness that comes with being essentially still a child. Her hair is longer, a bit darker…he loves every bit of her as much as he did five years ago.

The last time he’d seen her in a hospital bed it had been after a training accident. She’d lost her footing during sparring and ended up with a concussion.

He was there with her then the way he is now.

He couldn’t sleep that time.

He thinks of this as he feels himself beginning to relax a bit into sleep.

Maybe it was the exhaustion from the fight, and the stress. That would make the most sense.

But as his eyes get heavy enough to close he knows that its just his response to being able to fall asleep next to her.

Like his body knows he’s back where he belongs.

Like he can finally rest.

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Taglist: @bitchy-bi-trash

#peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker headcanon #YN #yn stark #peter parker x reader #peter parker fan fiction #peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker x you #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman x y/n #spiderman x reader #spiderman imagine #marvel fanfiction #the one where peter parker has a baby #The one where peter Parker has a baby chapter 3

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ashc-from-ao3 · 2 months

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Free fallin’

Peter Maximoff x female reader

You weren't sure how you got into this mess. Actually you knew exactly how. You had been sent on a mission with your secret crush Peter Maximoff. It should have been simple, get in, save the mutant, get out. Easy right? Wrong. The instant you stepped door into the compound the mutant was being held, the two of you were under attack but guards, a lot more guards that's you originally anticipated. Peter took off in an instant, you scowled and got to work dispatching the guards. Your ability to control metal left people thinking you were another child of the famous Magnito, you thanked the lord everyday that it wasn't true,it would have made your crush on Peter weird, really weird.

You easily deflected the bullets back at the guards, incapitating them and leaving them groaning and clutching legs or arms on the ground. You strolled past them you weren't aware of a hidden guard aiming his gun at you. It wasn't until you heard the crack of a fun being fired and felt a rush of wind pass by you did you realize something was wrong. You turned and were horrified to see Peter on the ground, a red stain was quickly blossoming from his stomach. You looked over at the guard and the poor man seemed to know he had done something terribly stupid. With a short scream of fury you sent the man flying backwards by his belt, he hit the wall with a dull thud and lay unconscious on the ground.

You rushed over to Peter's side and hesitantly looked over his wound, it was still bleeding a lot and you were panicking. You knew you needed to get Peter somewhere safe, or at least somewhere you could stop the bleeding. With a bit of difficulty you used your ability to make a small metal stretcher under Peter. You carried the bleeding man into the compound and searched for a medical wing. Upon finding it you put Peter on a table. The instant he touched it a loud bang echoed through the room, someone had shut the door on you. You rushed over to check it and found it locked. You turned to look at Peter and sighed.

"Looks like we’ll be trapped for awhile"* Peter looked up and groaned, he held a hand to his stomach and in a flash he was standing infront of you.

"Really? How long is "awhile?" The silver haired mutant groaned again and doubled over in pain before he stood up looking determined. You signed and tried to lead him back to the bed.

"Peter, you just got shot. Please sit down...." He shook his head and stood firm.

"I'm fine (Y/n) 100% fine." No sooner had these words escaped his mouth did his eyes roll back and he started falling forward. With a surprised yelp you leapt forward to catch him, you stagger d under his weight, you had to get him back on the bed. It took you five minutes but you managed to do it. You waited an hour, trying to keep him alive. You managed to stop the bleeding and carefully remove the buller. But you had no supplies in the room to sew the wound closed. You were starting to get worried he would die here, yo never even got to tell him how you felt. You felt tears prickling your eyes, you sniffed and out your head on the table.

The next thing you knew you were waking up in the medbay of the mansion. You sat up confused and were instantly greeted by a gust of wind and Peter's face extremely close to yours.

"Glad you're up. I've been up for an hour and you know I hate waiting.....what happened?" You smirked and hopped off the bed.

"You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.” Peter's face paled for a second before he returned to his normal self.

"Of course I wanted the attention of a pretty girl. And especially one as pretty as you" you frowned and turned to look at him.

"You mean that?" Peter smiled and the next second all rational thought flew out of the window. Peter has pressed his lips to yours in a rather passionate kiss, your hand flew up to his hair and gently tugged on the silver strands. Peter groaned and started walking you towards the recently vacated hospital bed. Before anything could go further a voice rang out in your head, it was Charles.

"As much as I am happy you both have admired how you feel. Peter isn't supposed to do anything.....strenuous.....for awhile" you blushed heavily wondering who else in the mansion had know your feeling for Peter. You shrugged and decided that in that moment you didn't care, you went to kiss Peter again but he pulled away and looked around in exasperation.

"How long is awhile?!?"

#peter Maximoff x reader #Fox quicksilver #the superior quicksilver #Evan Peters quicksilver

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daddysfangirls-marvel · 1 year

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Goth Boss (7)

Warning: Angst, mentioned self-harm, mention of scars

summary: Tony stark x daughter goth reader. The avengers find out that Tony has a secret teenage daughter and make tony ask her to visit. But when they meet her the avengers find out why she was kept secret. ( could Bucky and Steve he terrified of how y/n looks since they are from a different time and seeing a goth girl for the first time scares them) (tony has a strained relationship with y/n as she grew up without him and he kept her secret)

As the day grew closer and closer, Lilly not only found herself cooking in large amounts in fits of stress, it was okay May helped her pack up and donate all the extras for those in need, but was constantly going through her medical kits and reviewing first aid techniques preparing for the worst. Preparing for another year to begin like the last, and the year before that, and before that. She was preparing to do it all over again and to ensure her daughter survived just as she did last time. She even got cleaning supplies in preparation for cleaning up the possible blood.

As Lilly prepared, she watched her daughter dove deeper into her art and volunteering. A dozen new sketches and drawings a day and a new canvas every other day. She didn't dare look at what her daughter's artistic heart created she was scared of what she would find. Her art often showed her heart and true feelings.

She'd stay on her toes and prepare for the worst.

Peter saw it, too. How she was avoiding him and all their friends and throwing herself into her art and volunteering, not a minute to spare. Although he was unaware of the full history of the day, he was aware of her distaste for the day and how it agitated her to the point of no mention of it. She grew displeased with those who did mention it, and they gained her ire.

Ned was currently on the receiving end of it. Her glare was enough for him to run tail tucked between his legs and avoid her like the plague. He loved her and her friendship, but... no.

MJ was much more careful keeping quiet and her distance when needed. Leaving (Y/n) to herself as she wished believing she'd come back when she wanted or was better.

"You need to slow down," so she began walking slower." That's not what I meant, and You know it. Your schedule is packed to the brim there isn't a second to spare. You're running from one thing to the next. You're running straight into the ground," Peter said, taking her hand to fully stop her. " I'm worried about you. I don't want you to get sick or hurt. I'm not asking you to stop I'm asking you to slow down and take a moment breath"

"I'm..." (y/n) sighed " I can't, I'm sorry I can't "Taking her hand back she continued on without him and without looking back. Not knowing what else to do Peter just went on patrol hoping later on tonight she would be more willing to talk. -

"You're back earlier than I thought you'd be," Peter said as he swung into her room, closing the window behind him.

"The director shared your sympathies and sent me home early." (Y/n) said as she continued to sketch at her desk.

"Will you talk to me, please? I want to help you, but I don't know how, and you aren't letting me," Peter said as he kneeled beside her.

Before (Y/n) could even turn to look at him her bedroom door flew open revealing her mother holding a large medical bag. She looked at Peter, who was kneeling next to her daughter, unmasked, still in her spider suit. She looked further around the room and found nothing.

Peter began to stand and stutter.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" she asked, and he shook his head. With one that knowledge and one more look around the room, she nodded and left, closing the door- but stopped. " I know you're Spider-Man, I've known for a while she didn't tell me I found out that time you slept over, you left your suit on the floor out in the open. I won't tell anyone. If you're staying the night, let May and I know."

And not the door is closed.

And Peter collapsed onto her bed grabbing his chest " I...oh god "

"You shouldn't be surprised. She's a smart woman"

"Can we talk, please?"

"We are talking"

"(Y/n), what's going on? Is it your birthday?" she flinched hard, scratching her nearly finished sketch. " It is. I want to help you, but you need to tell me how"

She sighed, balling up her drawing and throwing it away. Running her hands down her face " I don't know. I really don't know"

"I... My birthdays have never been good." she says as she starts to cry " I'm afraid something bad will happen like last year and the year before. I'm trying to distract myself so nothing bad will happen"

"Something bad happened last year?"

"Yes," she whispered as she tugged at her sleeves. In their entire relationship, Peter had not seen (Y/n) without her sleeves at least that is what she believed While he was aware that there were times she was in deep sadness, he wasn't aware of how deep and scaring the sadness was.

"I saw"

"What"

Peter sighed. " The night you slept over after you rejected Tony. I saw your wrist. That's what happened last year, right?"

There was a moment of silence as (Y/n) slowly turned to look at him. Then she burst into tears, sobbing as she realized he knew she was broken. She was in pieces far beyond what he had thought and what she had told him, and... he still loved her. He still stayed.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she sobbed. Crossing the room, he stood her up and brought her to the bed to lie down. And laid with her, holding her for the rest of the night.

"I'll make sure they get up early enough to pick up his stuff on the way to school tomorrow" Realizing that Peter was going to spend the night Lilly had called his aunt to let her know and make sure she didn't worry.

"Thank you," May said

"I should be thanking you. You and Peter have been so good to us."

"I... I've just been worried about you guys that's all. Listen, I notice (Y/n) has been struggling and I don't mean to overstep or anything but do you think maybe she should talk to someone"

"Yes," Lilly sighs, " but we can't"

"Why?"

"You know who her father is. If she slips up and says her name, then those people go around talking Next thing you know, I got every news channel in America knocking on my door wanting to see Iron Man's daughter. I considered it before, but with who he is now... it is too big of a risk"

"You don't trust them"

"Sorry, but no, I don't, at least not with my baby. She's all I got"

"What if I helped you find someone? Someone trusts worth?" May could see not only (Y/n) spiraling but Lilly as well. They needed more help beyond what she could provide.

"If you can manage to find someone," she laughs bitterly.

"I do my best. For you and your daughter"

"May"

"Lilly?"

She sniffled " Thank you,"

When the day finally arrived, it went on as any other. It wasn't until the sunset that the atmosphere grew tense. Peter and May came over with Pizza for dinner. No one had the mindset to cook. They separated Peter and (Y/n) went to her room while May and Lilly stayed in the living room.

Peter and (Y/n) lay under her window quietly holding each other hands as they watched the city lights reflected on the window, New York didn't have stars.

"What's that?" May asked as Lilly joined her in the living room again, dropping a large black bag on the table. She sat down and sighed.

"Just in case"

She put her phone on the table, the numbers 9 and 1 already dialed, waiting for the last.

They continued to sit in silence.

In an Alley next to the apartment building, right under the living room window, was a parked SUV. His phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Yeah, Hey, where are you?" Pepper asked

"Out"

"Obviously, when are you coming home?"

He sighed, looking up at the window. " I don't know. I...I'll be back tomorrow I got to handle some stuff."

"Tomorrow?! Tony! What are you doing that has-"

"Listen, I got to go. Don't wait up" he hung up putting his phone on silent and tossing it in the passenger seat. He continued to watch the window.

Just in case.

The day introduced itself with bright light and blaring horns from the morning rush. The light was particularly rude, shining directly into Peter's eyes. Finding the blanket, he tossed it over his head. Opening his eyes, he found that he had tossed the blanket over (y/n)'s head as well.

(Y/n)

His fingers brushed her cheek thumb grazing her lips. He leans forward having their forehead touched and then their noses.

"(Y/n)" he whispered She began to mumble and move as she woke up but he held her in place pulling her closer to his body. " (Y/n)"

"hmm"

"You're 17"

"What?"

"You're 17"

She slowly opened her to see Peter lying in front of her she gave him a gentle kiss. Then her mind caught up with her and she realized what he said. She bolted upright.

"I'm 17"

Suddenly, her bedroom door was open, and her mother and May stepped in. There was a moment of silence.

"Happy late Birthday. Now get ready for school you have that English test today" Lilly said ignoring her blurry vision.

"Yes, ma'am." (y/n) said as she stood up. " Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"I love you"

"I love you too"

As Lilly closed the door May pulled her into her arms and allowed her to silently cry into her shoulder. Rubbing her back, telling her to let it all out, she needed this.

Tony watched as those going about their day walked by the open alley he was looking for one person though. He watched with baited breath as more and more people walked by but not the person he was looking for.

Until he did.

She was smiling and laughing, walking hand in hand with Peter. She was the happiest he had ever seen her he's never seen her happy before . Lilly also Came out with May also smiling. The group separated May and Lilly, crossing the street while Peter and (y/n) continued down the street, all the while still grinning and laughing.

He finally felt relief as he listened to her laughter go down the street.

Starting up the car, he pulled out of the alley and drove in the opposite direction of (y/n). Stopping at the next light he pulled up right next to Lilly and May. May didn't see him but Lilly did but she didn't say anything as they locked eyes she simply gave him a nod and kept walking.

(Y/n) was 17.

#fanfiction #avengers #avengers fanfiction #spiderman #spiderman fanfiction #peter park fanfiction #peter parker x reader #peter parker #tony stark daughter #tony stark's daughter #tony stark fanfiction #peter parker x stark!daughter #goth boss

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somethingblu3 · 8 months

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💙somethingblu3's masterlist💙

All graphics used are made by the wonderful Ripley! @keep-it-light NSFW 18+

My asks are always open for ideas and personalized requests, although do bear in mind I'm a university student, so the responses may be slow. I'm generally open to writing anything dark, so don't be shy; the only limits that I hope you bear in mind are:

Needles (For medical reasons)

Anything medical-related (I'm fine with blood play or injuries

Feederism - Anything related to weight loss or gain Feederism (I'm totally down for writing plus sized characters!)

Suicide - I'm fine with characters having invasive thoughts (as that's perfectly normal) but not the act of self-harm.

Also, if you would like to request a fic, please add specific characters, kinks or scenarios a little background. Nothing too vague but doesn't have to be extremely detailed. Also, feel free to dip into my inbox to talk characters or headcannons! I think about Mr Newbon's characters more than the average person should.

Also, one last thing I thought I would put here to get more eyes on it. We have a really small Neil-focused discord. If you would like to join us, click here! It's very rusty, but it's something (DM if you are interested in becoming a mod to help tidy it up a bit I'd very much appreciate any help)

The Stomach

Hollyoaks

Walker Request

Velvet Green

Thin Blue Line (Series)

Dream Team

Store Bought Cum

Casualty

Thy Mercy

Worthy (Of his love)

Later

Richard Headcannons #1

Peter Returns

Hook Headcannons #1

Beyond The Rave

Mirror Mirror

Never Trust A Vampire

Nikolai Headcannon

Detroit Become Human

---

Extinction

Plastic

Stranded

Dalziel and Pascoe

High

Doctors (2014)

The Last Drop

The Discovery Of Heaven

The Discovery Of Love

As If

Seb Headcannons

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paloma-ascends-into-hellfire · 8 months

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intro post or whatever because why not i'm bored and i should be studying for my finals but haha, clearly i'm not

~ basic info ~

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~fandoms~

percy jackson / a good girl's guide to murder / one of us is lying / ace attorney /epic the musical/ starkid/tcb/ dear evan hansen (i'm sorry i'm a cringey teenager) / stranger things (fuck noah schnapp) / the outsiders / glee (again, cringey teenager) / wednesday / rtc / the owl house / shakespeare /

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~ music ~

laufey, olivia rodrigo, melanie martinez, the cardigans, em beihold, precious pepala, paris paloma, dove cameron, showtunes, taylor swift, abba, seb lowe, daisy grenade, billie eilish, renée rapp, paramore, dua lipa, camilla cabello, kaia jette, kendall nicole, mariah rose faith, haim, maisie peters

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~ fav albums ~

guts, olivia rodrigo

reputation, taylor swift

1989, taylor swift

speak now, taylor swift

midnights, taylor swift

egg in the backseat, em beihold

when we all fall asleep where do we go?, billie eilish

sour, olivia rodrigo

the good witch, maisie peters

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my chaotic tagging system:

#as a canadian i approve - canada stuff

#the friends - interacting with my moots, individuals will be tagged with their name + <3

#wholesomeness - self explanatory

#mental health shit - what the name says

#important - stuff i want you to see

#<3 - misc things i find nice

#snake snake snake - snakes!

#rant rant rant - my lil ranty rants

#personal - me stuff!

#🏳️‍🌈 stuff - queer stuff, be it wholesome, important, or funny. i’m really bad about tagging this one though lol

#disabilty - mainly chronic migraine things

#adhd stuff - what it says

otherwise i just kind of tag my fandoms as their own thing depending on how i want to see.

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~ misc. ~

i play alto sax, drums, keyboard, and clarinet

i have a sideblog, @paloma-writes-about-hellfire - irls dni with that one

my blog is kind of a disaster, but it's mostly hatchetfield, epic the musical, spies are forever, lgbtq+, current events, wholesome stuff, and occasionally a personal anecdote, we're kinda all over the place here but oh well

i love all animals but especially owls, snakes, butterflies, and cats

PLEASE TALK TO ME ABOUT MEDICAL STUFF ESP MEDICAL HISTORY

ask me about leopold and loeb, PLEASE I LOVE YAPPING

also i love ranting so if you wanna rant with someone, i'm your girl

free palestine

fuck jkr

trans rights

go away terfs, homophobes, aphobes, islamaphobes, anti-semites, racists, bigots in general

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#intro post

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voiceoffenrisulfr · 3 months

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Becoming Spider-Man - Chapter Eleven

Peter Parker Takes a Step

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 -> Peter Parker & Tony Stark (IronDad)

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ->In which Peter has an appointment, and Tony did some research.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 -> 3500

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 -> (T) Trans medical discussion; minor, hypothetical discussion of self-harm and suicide, but nothing particularly heavy.

𝐀/𝐍 -> Disclaimer - I know almost nothing about trans healthcare in America, and the waiting times involved. I know that sometimes there is one, and sometimes there isn't, and quality is highly variable. Please don't assume this is factually accurate, for everyone's sakes. <3 Check it out below, or on AO3 here! Cute divider by @/sweetmelodygraphics!

<- Previous Chapter (10/16) Next Chapter (12/16) ->

It was an oddly unobtrusive start to such a momentous day. I didn’t sleep well, finding blissful escape only as the sun began to hint at the horizon, but I felt refreshed as I stretched luxuriously between Egyptian cotton sheets. There was no obnoxious alarm blaring, no manic genius hammering on my door – only a slow progression into a comfortable consciousness. Sleep stolen in hours that should be spent in class are undeniably the best, I mused distantly as I slid myself into my suit, having learnt the trick by now and flattening my body without the flailing of limbs that had accompanied my first attempt. I had other binders now, sure – but this was a big day, and I wanted to do it not only as Peter Parker-Stark, but also as Spider-Man.

When I emerged, dishevelled, Tony was waiting in the kitchen, a mug of coffee sending curls of steam into the charged air. “Morning, kid. You all ready to go?” I nodded hesitantly, unable to hide the trembling of my hands. “I think so.” He watched me carefully, tracking the shaking of my fingers as I moved to pour myself my own pick-me-up, knowing I’d need it when the adrenaline wore off. “Nervous?” I wriggled my free hand indecisively as I took a sip, before offering him a weak grin. “Terrified… But in the best way.” He simply smiled in response, shrugging on his jacket. “We’ll get on our way in a minute.” I nodded then paused, struck dumb. “M… Mr. Stark, is that… A pronoun badge?” The small pin was stuck unobtrusively to his chest, pale blue with black typing, but once I’d spotted it adorning his jacket, I couldn’t look away. “Huh? Oh, this?” He looked down, offering a half-shrug at the he/him proudly displayed. “Yeah. I wanted to… Y’know, show that you have my support. And it’s good to normalise offering and asking pronouns, to avoid trans people feeling singled out when they clarify theirs.”

Despite his head still being angled down, I could see the text scrolling across the bottom of his tinted glasses, and pinched my lips to suppress a smile. “I think it’s a lovely idea, Tony. I’ll have to get myself one, too.” He looked back up, grinning broadly as he reached under the counter. “We have a range to choose from. I intend to offer them to both the Avengers and the Stark employees – and we’re putting together a HR meeting with the Stark Enterprises team to discuss the importance of using people’s correct pronouns.” My own smile broke free then, fondly eyeing the box before me. “That’s amazing – so cool of you!” He hesitated briefly before opening the box and sliding it toward me. “I… Never actually thought to ask you, actually. Are you comfortable sharing your pronouns with me? I’m sorry for not asking before now.” I resisted the urge to clasp a hand over my heart theatrically, deeply touched by his care. “It’s no problem, Mr. Stark. I use he/him pronouns, but I’m ok with they/them, too. Really, the only ones I don’t like are she/her.” I couldn’t fight the curl in my lip at the words, making Tony chuckle fondly, reaching out to tousle my hair as I dove into the box for my matching pin.

The small badge on my lapel bolstered my confidence as we entered the sleek clinic, a minor-yet-major thing that proclaimed me as male for the world to see. Tony checked us in while I gazed around myself in wonder, stunned by the white furniture and polished surfaces.

“This place looks expensive,” I hissed under my breath when we were invited to sit in the sterile waiting room. Tony shrugged one shoulder modestly.

“It isn’t – not for me,” he added when I arched a brow in disbelief. “Kid, you’ve gotta remember; at this point, I have more money than I know what do with. And besides… It’s all yours in the end, anyway. I may as well get chance to see it being put to use.”

I nodded, still not entirely comfortable, before hesitating. “… ‘Mine in the end’?” I clarified, heart stuttering.

Tony met my gaze, head tipped. “Of course. You’re my son, Peter – where else would it go?”

I swallowed dryly, fighting off the flutter of happiness in my chest that occurred whenever he called me his son. “M-Mr. St… Tony… I didn’t… I’m not-”

“-here for the money, I know,” he interrupted softly. “I know, kid. But it’ll be yours regardless. It’s up to you what you do with it, and if you don’t want to keep it, that’s fine. However, in the meantime, just let me do something good with it, okay?”

I looked down, chagrined and humbled, and nodded once. “Okay, Tony.”

The office we were shown to was just as sophisticated as the waiting room, which did nothing to ease my nerves, despite the nurse smiling at me from her straight-backed leather chair.

“Peter and Tony, right?”

I nodded and mumbled out a hello, while Tony stepped forward confidently, offering his hand. “That’s us. Thanks for fitting us in so quickly.”

The woman laughed, a comforting, gentle sound. “My son is a big Iron Man fan, in all honesty. He’d never believe I’d met you!” There was a tense pause, and her hand went to her mouth as she flushed pink. “Not… Not that I’d tell him, of course. We take patient confidentiality very seriously here – I just meant, you know, hypothetically.”

Tony glanced at me, and I shrugged. “I don’t care.”

He smiled affectionately before turning back to our nurse. “I don’t suppose you have your phone?” Her mouth worked wordlessly before she nodded, reaching into a purse below the desk and handing it to him silently. I watched as he deftly opened the camera, clearly used to the routine by now, and set up the front facing video. “What’s your son’s name?”

“Um… T-Tyler. He… He’s actually why I work here. He’s trans, too. Not that that’s… I mean, he’s very open about it, and we touch base often about whether I can disclose that to clients, and he’s fine with it,” she clarified quickly.

“You don’t say?” Tony’s lips quirked in the corner as he glanced at the nurse – a pretty blonde, I noticed for the first time. “What about you? What’s your name?”

“Lola,” she replied, blushing once more. “She/her.”

“He/him,” he responded smoothly, settling in front of the phone.

“Hey, Tyler! I’m here with your mom, and she said you’re a big fan. She’s…” Tony glanced at me once more, and again, I nodded, eliciting a fond smile. “She’s looking after my son, too. Peter.” He gestured me over, and I ducked into frame, offering an awkward wave.

“Hey, Tyler. I’m a pretty big Iron Man fan, too.” Tony elbowed me lightly in the ribs, chuckling playfully, and I laughed.

“I’ll make sure to give her an autograph for you. You’ve got a good mom, sport. Look after her. The world needs heroes, big and small.” ‘Sport’? So he only calls me ‘kid’, huh? I thought affectionately as he threw up a peace sign before cutting the camera, and I smirked, dropping back into one of the vacant seats.

“Kinda ironic, don’t you think?” I quipped, and he rolled his eyes at me.

“Yes, yes, very funny, kid.”

Kid.

“Thank you so much, Mr. Stark – and you, too, Peter,” she added, voice soft and flattered as she put her phone away. “Now… How about we get to business?”

Tony nodded, quickly returning to the task at hand. “Yeah. We – Peter and I – we put together a kind of plan of what he’s after, if that helps?” Delving into his own case, he pulled out a clear file, through which I could just about see the sheet covered in our mingled, untidy scrawl.

Lola raised an eyebrow, visibly surprised. “You two really thought this through, huh?”

I shuffled forward a little, finding my voice at last. “Yeah. Tony’s been really supportive, and he’s helped me so much. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without him. I mean, I’ve known that this was what I wanted for a long time, y’know? But actually doing it is a little scary. I didn’t always… Well, I’ve not always had the greatest of support systems. Tony’s being unquestioningly compassionate to my struggles, and done a ton of research on how he can help. It… Means a lot,” I finished lamely, wincing. But how could I put words to what he’s done for me? He saved my life.

She smiled again, glancing warmly at my guardian. “That’s great. I’m really happy for you; far too many trans youth are in unsupportive environment, and it makes an already difficult life significantly harder. Society’s treatment of trans people has a long way to go, but a bit of compassion at home can make the world of difference. But,” she added, growing serious, “this process is, first and foremost, about you, Peter. And while I understand that you are appreciative of your relationship with Tony and how he’s supported you, I am required to ask – are you ok with him being here while we talk, or would you rather he stepped outside?” I opened my mouth to respond instinctively, but she cut across quickly. “If you want him to stay, that’s ok. Or if you want to discuss the more sensitive stuff first, we can ask him to come back in after. Or if you’d rather speak without him here at all, that’s fine too. It’s about you, Peter.”

I glanced across, chewing on my lip. Tony offered me a reassuring smile, and I couldn’t help but wince. “Is it okay if… If we talk about some stuff alone, first?” I asked meekly, looking away when Tony’s smile began to feel strained. There was a heavy pause, then he got to his feet, clapping me on the shoulder.

“Sure thing, kid. I’ll be right out there if you need me.” His fingers ruffled my hair and I couldn’t help but lean into the touch, feeling deeply ungrateful, but somewhat relieved.

The door closed with a quiet click, silence continuing for a heartbeat before the nurse spoke again, her voice soft. “It seems like that was kinda hard for you to do, huh?” I simply nodded, chewing on my thumbnail. “Can you explain to me why that is?”

I looked up, startled, into her clinically impassable mask. “Nothing… It’s nothing like that. Tony’s supporting me, sure, but I’ve never felt pushed into transitioning. It’s always been what I want, and when I want it.”

She frowned infinitesimally, puzzled, and shook her head. “I didn’t assume otherwise, Peter. It seems like the two of you have a great relationship.” I swallowed dryly around my throat, cursing myself for my assumption. Nothing looks quite so suspicious as vehemently denying something that was never even a question, huh? “I only want to understand why it was difficult for you. It seemed like a pretty hard thing to do, so I don’t think you’d have done it without a good reason.”

I nodded again, my gaze still low. “I… I feel ungrateful. He’s done so much, and this feels like secrecy, and he deserves better.” I picked at the skin around my nail uncomfortably, yet another wave of guilt rising in my chest. “But… Yeah. I figure it’ll be less painful for me to ask him to leave.”

“Less painful than hearing what you have to say?” she prompted softly.

I ground my teeth, reluctantly meeting her eye. “Yeah. I… I know that part of this is talking about my mental health. And that’s… I mean, there’s nothing to worry about. But it’s not always… Great. And I know that wouldn’t be fun for him to hear.” She watched me quietly, waiting patiently for me to continue, and I sighed. “I feel… If I don’t think about it, I feel okay. Normal, y’know? But… Then I do. And it sucks. I feel… I feel trapped. In here,” I added, tapping a finger to my temple. “I feel like who I am will never be seen by everyone else.”

“Do you ever think about hurting yourself, or ending your own life?”

The question was a simple one, but there was no simple answer. I squeezed my eyes shut briefly, a flashing blade flickering across my lids. “I think about it every day,” I answered softly, hesitating before opening my eyes to meet her gaze. “I think about it constantly. It’s always there – an exit strategy. A way to opt out, y’know? If it all gets too much.”

“Do you have any plans, or are you actively harming yourself?”

I couldn’t help but smile, albeit weakly. “No. And I’m not even tempted anymore, not really. Ever since I moved in with Tony, it’s been easier to ignore that voice. But even when I lived with Aunt May – when it was the loudest it’s ever been – I still never intended to actually do anything. I just… Find comfort in the fact that it’s a possibility.”

She nodded once, making a brief note on her legal paper. “Well… We’ve only had a brief interaction here – and it’s something I’d definitely like to discuss again – but I don’t feel like you’re a danger to yourself or others, and you haven’t told me anything that makes me think you or anyone else is at risk. So, you’ll be relieved to know, I have no cause to disclose anything you’ve said to me to Mr. Stark. But,” she added, looking up to meet my eye seriously, “I encourage you to talk to him about it yourself. It’s important to share how you’re feeling with the people in your life, especially those who clearly care about you.”

I hummed thoughtfully, pulling on a hangnail. “Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

She offered me a reassuring smile, and leant forward a little. “Are you ready to call him back in?”

“Deep breath.”

I inhaled sharply, the sound tearing in my throat, fingers laced tightly with those of my guardian as the needle sank into my skin.

The gravity and monument of the moment was disturbed somewhat by the explanation by the kind, but chatty, nurse. “Make sure you fully depress the plunger before pulling out the needle, Mr. Stark. I doubt this young man will want a low dose in your hurry to remove it!” she chuckled, sliding the needle from my skin almost painlessly. “A small bit of blood is normal, but if you remember to draw back before injecting, you can be sure you haven’t hit a vessel.”

Tony, to his credit, was nodding along, a look of fierce concentration fixed on his face, despite his own extensive medical knowledge; I was more than certain that he knew how to administer a shot without instruction, but he was entirely devoted to listening, and entirely oblivious to my gazing at him adoringly. The man basically performed heart surgery on himself, but he’s so adamant about getting this right for me…

“And that’s you done! You can go ahead and pull up your pants now, Peter. Congratulations,” she added with a tender smile. “You’re officially on testosterone.”

I split into a wide grin, inching my waistband over the site gingerly. Tony’s partially-removable suit had been a Godsend when I’d been told I could start testosterone there and then – the idea of having to remove my entire suit just to access the top of my butt was one I hadn’t been thrilled about, but Tony had simply reprogrammed his nanos, forming a strip of available skin for the shot without any hassle.

“And that’s every four weeks?” he clarified, tapping his palm against the side of his fist as he committed the procedure to memory. She nodded, and he met my eye with a proud smile. “I’d be honoured.”

I flushed crimson as his arm snaked around my shoulders, gripping me affectionately. “You don’t have to, Mr. Stark. I’m sure Dr. Banner would-”

“Not a chance, kid,” he interrupted gently, ruffling my hair. “It’s a blessing I want… If you’ll have me?” His voice tilted at the question, subtly concerned, and I shook my head with a grin.

“I’d love for it to be you, Mr. Stark. Who else? I’m only here because of you.”

We pulled up outside the complex before I mustered the courage to approach the sensitive topic, but I knew it was never far from either of our minds.

“Mr. Stark, I want to-”

“Look, Peter, I don’t expect you to-”

We hesitated together, and chuckled uncertainly, each motioning the other before he exhaled heavily, running a hand through his hair. “Kid, I know you aren’t going to tell me everything. That’s fine; I wasn’t offended that you asked me to leave. I just worry. I know about the mental health concerns in trans kids – especially those that are kicked out. And I know that I’m not… That it’s not always easy to approach me. I’m not that great at talking about feelings. But I’m always – always – here for you, Peter. I just want to make sure you know that. There’s nothing that will make me stop loving you, or want to get rid of you, okay?” I’d looked away halfway through his speech, and his declaration of love had the windscreen swimming before my eyes, vision suddenly blurred as I swallowed around the swollen lump in my throat, simply nodding. His gentle hand found the hair at the nape of my neck, smoothing tenderly, which, while comforting, only made my emotions more difficult to control, and I sniffed loudly, breaking the silence. “I do, y’know. I… I love you, kid. You mean everything to me, and I sure as hell am not going to let something as simple as ‘talking about our feelings’ get in the way of that.”

His voice cracked almost imperceptibly, sending my pixellated gaze sliding back to his face, locking on his own watery eyes. “M… Tony. I… I owe you everything,” I breathed, trying to keep the sobs from bursting from my lungs as they fought to maintain control. “Without you, I… Well, I probably wouldn’t be here. I definitely wouldn’t be here,” I added, waving a hand blindly at the main building of the compound I’d almost forgotten existed in this moment, “living with superheroes and on T. I love you too – of course I do. I… Uncle Ben died before I ever really knew him, and I can’t remember what my father was like. They’re just figures in my mind – a shadow without a face. I never really had a dad… Until now.”

I blinked in surprise as a tear rolled down his cheek, devastation and delight warring across his features. This man, renowned for his robots and literal suit of armour, was dissolving before my eyes, simply from my tender words. He pursed his lips, looking away, the muscle in his jaw ticking as he fought with his emotions. “That… That means a lot, kid. Thank you.”

Our return to the compound came after several minutes of quiet in Tony’s car, both sniffling and wiping our eyes. It had been an emotional day in every way, and combined with the dull ache in my butt, I was definitely ready for bed, despite it only being a little after midday.

“Just… I’m sorry, in advance,” Tony murmured as he led the way into the kitchen, following up on his promise of a cup of coffee and a relaxed evening. “I tried to tell them that you’d likely just want to slump in front of the TV, but…”

The door opened to the amassed Avengers, each grinning as broadly as the next, cheering beneath a banner proudly proclaiming, ‘It’s a boy!’ – a cliché, undoubtedly, but one that touched my heart. I laughed breathlessly as the team gathered around me, clapping me on the back and making light-hearted jibes about when I’d eventually grow a moustache. Tony shrugged apologetically over Widow’s shoulder, and I shook my head minutely, fondly.

How could I be mad about this?

“Congratulations, Peter. How do you feel?” Vision enquired, his soft voice cutting over the clamour as he hung back with Wanda, ever the reserved pair.

“Honestly? It’s… Weird,” I chuckled, scratching my neck uncomfortably. “It’s both a huge, momentous thing… But also oddly anticlimactic, y’know? Like… A quick stab, and that’s it – I’m on Testosterone. This massive goal of my life is achieved. I don’t really know what to do now,” I added, laughing lightly. Vision smiled tightly, sympathetic.

“It’s not the end of your journey, though,” Tony added, nudging his way through the mass of bodies to my side. “It’s just the beginning. And I think I speak for everyone here when I say – we can’t wait to see the man you grow into.”

I smiled, tipping my head against Natasha’s fondly. “Thank you, Tony.”

#fanfiction #mine #fandom: marvel #writers on tumblr #writing bingo #rating: T #trans peter parker #becoming spider-man #11 of 16 #irondad and spiderson #Medical Transition #queer #trans #reposting to tumblr for pride bc trans peter gives us LIFE #Win speaks

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doitinanotherlanguage · 2 years

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February 2023 Wrap-up: 1910s

(You can read more about the challenge on my post introducing the challenge. Basically, Reading Through the Decades is a year-long reading challenge where we read books - and explore other media - from the 1900s to the 2020s, decade-by-decade.)

Obviously, February was a very harrowing reading month, since the 1910s are intricately tied to war. Almost everything I read or watched this month had something to do with war, or rebellion of some sort. War is a difficult and emotional topic to read about at any time, but especially this month. Inevitably, my thoughts were constantly drawn to Russia’s war in Ukraine, especially since 20 February marked a year since (the escalation of) the war started, with still no end in sight.

The Russo-Ukrainian war is a war that felt unimaginable and remote to me before Russia’s full-scale invasion into Ukraine in 2021. Having naively grown up in a bubble where war wasn’t supposed to ever affect my daily life, except as a distant terror somewhere far away, waking up to the terrible reality was a difficult and anxiety-inducing thing to face. Living in a country neighbouring Russia, it having not been even a hundred years since Russia last invaded our country, my empathy and sympathies lie whole-heartedly with the Ukrainians and their fight to defend their existence. Violence and war should never be the answer in politics, and imperialism is an evil that should be resisted with every inch of our being. Слава Україні! 🇺🇦🕊️

Many of the books, movies and shows below, which I read and watched and appreciated this month explore many of the topics and themes I’ve had on my mind recently because of the above-mentioned real-life politics. These topics and themes include war, imperialism, pacifism, nationalism, duty, independence, and self-governance. Hopefully, you can also find some new gems among them, and maybe ways to deal with the harsh reality we live in right now and the questions and feelings it provokes in us.

What I Enjoyed This Month

📺 The Crimson Field (2014), created by Sarah Phelps -> A British period drama that shows the lives of medics and the patients at a fictional field hospital in France during World War I. -> More war dramas written by women please! The first (and only) season of this show is fantastic, and I’m so sad this got cancelled because very little is tied up at the end of the first season yet it’s evident that they had plenty of plans for the upcoming seasons. The many and varied relationships (and I’m not just talking about the romantic) are the core and strength of this show to me, and I wish we got to see them develop further. (I will forever remain pissed that I will never get to see more of Peter and Flora’s friendship 😭)

📖 Testament of Youth (1933), Vera Brittain -> This first part of the memoirs of Vera Brittain (1893-1970) is celebrated as a classic for depicting the World War I from the point of view of women and the middle-class civilian population of the UK. It covers the years 1900-1925. -> Last year, I watched the 2014 movie adaptation, starring Alicia Vikander, and was very touched by it and got curious about the book it was based on. Consequently, I had such high expectations for this memoir - expectations that were more than exceeded, I am glad to say! This is such an interesting look at a young person’s coming-of-age during times of extreme turmoil and the ways in which formative experiences impact us. I found the memoir quite relatable in so many ways despite many of the things being so far removed from my own life and experiences. If feminism, the experiences of a V.A.D, anti-war sentiment and pacifism, dealing with death, and lost/missed youth as a theme sound interesting to you, consider picking up this wonderful book.

🎬 Im Westen nichts Neues (2022; All Quiet on the Western Front), dir. Edward Berger -> This impassioned, visually arresting interpretation of the classic German anti-war novel makes the pacifist case to contemporary audiences through its depiction of the horrible madness of World War I and the tragedy of a doomed generation. -> I read All Quiet on the Western Front last year, and was very impressed by it. It is a true classic, about the horror and pointlessness of war. So when I found out a new German movie adaptation was coming out, I was psyched! From the film’s chilling opening montage that emblematises the machinery of the war and the way it chews you up (it absolutely made me shiver to my core!), I knew this movie would stick with me. Well worth watching. (Although I do prefer the book to this movie, which has that familiar tendency to dramatise things for the visuality and all that.)

🎬 Suffragette (2015), dir. Sarah Gavron -> A British historical drama film about women's suffrage in the UK. -> This is a fantastic film about the suffrage movement in the UK, showing what was going on with regard to women’s rights before WWI swallowed up everyone’s attention, time, and efforts. Fantastic actresses all round, with a working-class main character as the focus.

📺 Rebellion (2016), created by Colin Teevan -> A historical mini series that dramatises the events surrounding the Irish 1916 Easter Rising. Told through the perspective of a group of fictional characters who live through the political events, the series was produced to commemorate the centennial anniversary of the 1916 Rising. -> I’ve been reading up on Irish history recently, so this was a great series to hit upon! I particularly appreciated the way that female characters were included in this and the storylines that were written for them.

📖 Ali und Nino (1937; Ali and Nino), Kurban Said -> A novel about a romance between a Muslim Azerbaijani boy and a Christian Georgian girl in Azerbaijan’s capital, Baku, in the years 1918–1920. -> A super interesting book, full of ambiguity, thematising boundaries and fluidity. Taking centre-stage is the question of the often difficult-to-define boundary/limit/border between Europe and Asia. I was also quite fascinated by the way this book took up the matter of women’s place and rights. (I also checked out the 2016 movie adaptation. However, I only ended up watching the first 50 minutes or so because - while the cinematography was absolutely gorgeous! - I was not going to sit through a whole two hours of a script that... lacking.)

#was NOT supposed to start blabbing about my feelings about Russia's invasion into Ukraine but it's been on my mind constantly these days #reading so much about war definitely brought everything up to the surface #reading through the decades #litblr #booklr #bookblr

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autumnrose11 · 2 years

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Julia Locke in My Dear, I Wanted to Tell You (spoilers!)

While reading the book for the very first time, the character that interested me most was Julia Locke. It's weird, really, given that this is a war novel, and Julia is never directly involved in the war. Indirectly, though ... there's so much in her that no one quite realises.

From the very beginning, it's made clear that Julia's life revolves around her husband, Peter. She adores him. Every single thing in her life revolves around being Peter's wife, being mistress of Locke Hill. That's what she's been raised to do - and more to the point, that's what she excels at doing.

But what's really deep about her is ... her beauty. One thing's for certain: Julia is beautiful. She is also vain. But is this an inborn character trait, or is it something that has been cultivated? Julia (and Rose) seems to feed into the stereotype that beautiful women can't be brainy, and vice versa.

But Julia had learnt to love her own beauty, because beauty was her currency, and other people valued it so highly.

Her entire life, her looks are all she has. And when the world she's always known crumbles, her beauty works against her. Suddenly, it's become an impediment. At the same time, it's the only source of self-worth she has (apart from Peter).

But what I found really, really telling is how often Louisa Young herself defends this character.

Though beauty was not Julia's first quality, it could only be the first thing about her. When she entered a room, nobody thought: There is a generous, determined, kind-looking woman. Her kindness, her determination and her flashes of wit were, in everyday life, dazzled out of view by her rich pale hair, her tiny waist, her glowing skin, the surprise of her dark blue eyes, and the slight dip at the bridge of her straight nose, 'the imperfection which makes you perfect,' as Peter called it. Few people cared about her better virtues.

But Rose wasn't being entirely fair. Considering that Julia had been bred and trained to be a beautiful wife, and nothing else, she wasn't doing too badly.

What Rose didn't know was that Julia spent every night with the same phrases and memories and resentments and ancient conversations lining up at the end of the bed, waiting to take their turn in tormenting her, and woke every morning in howling loneliness for her husband, her sheets too smooth and her bed too tidy, with a hunger for things to be right just as strong, desperate and justified as that of any scared soldier, any exhausted ambulance driver, any battle-weary medic.

The author is directly telling us that Julia's fears, her loneliness, her pain, is valid. Everyone judges her, and dismisses her, and thinks she's incapable of doing anything useful - from Rose down to herself. But the point is ... Julia is nothing but a sweet, devoted, kind-hearted woman. All she wants is to be loved. Throughout the book, she's desperately trying to reclaim what she and Peter once shared. A happy, adoring marriage. She keeps getting hurt by him over and over, and yet ... she keeps at it. She doesn't understand that the war is to blame, not her. She's got so much love to give. She'd do anything on earth for the people she loves. She's absolutely devoted to them. The sad thing is, circumstances continually work against her, leading to her being misjudged.

She would have been an adoring mother to Tom, but her monster of a mother takes him away. She's madly in love with Peter, but the war has changed him and scarred him and turned him into a stranger to her. And of course, how could she possibly understand? But even then ... despite having been hurt and rejected over and over again, she does everything in her power to make Peter happy. She can't do anything to help with the war itself, so she puts herself through every facial, every beauty treatment there is, to please him. Perhaps it was partly to satisfy her vanity? I don't know; to me, it looks like it was first and foremost for Peter's sake. She even says at one point in the book, to the doctor trying to fix her facial imperfections: "My husband deserves a perfect wife."

She turns down the propositions of a man flirting with her in a pub. Considering how neglected she feels at this point .... she could easily have given in. She was sorely in need of love. All she wanted was to be loved in return. But she's still fiercely loyal to her husband: "My marriage is good. I love my husband and my marriage is good. There is nothing I would not do for him. I have turned down temptation for him."

This novel is in essence a story of battle. Every character fights their own war. Some of them win it and some of them lose it. Every one of them are soldiers in their own right. But with Julia ... there are tw parallels in the book that are strikingly noticeable.

The first is when she gives birth to Tom, the parallel is spoonfed to the reader directly:

She had liked the pain, though. The thrill of involvement and deserving suffering had, she felt, united her with Peter. She, too, had had a bloodbath, a dreadful wound in a good cause. Her body had been ripped like a soldier's.

Giving birth and becoming a mother was the one thing that made Julia feel useful. She wants to be useful. She wants to be something other than beautiful. In childbirth, Julia has fought her physical war.

The second parallel is when ... Julia destroys her face with a beauty treatment (cue me tearing up).

A huge part of this book is about facial reconstructive surgery for soldiers with disfigured faces. Their mutilated faces are artificially rebuilt with plastic surgery. Shortly before her husband's return for good in 1918, Julia, in an act of desperation, burns her face with a chemical treatment. And she loses her beauty forever. Her face is never the same again. Isn't that exactly what happened to millions of soldiers, including Riley Purefoy? They fought in a horrific battle. Julia Locke fought an emotional battle. This is what made her character so poignant to me. Julia accidentally disfiguring her face and looks (essentially, everything she possesses) is a parallel to all those soldiers whose faces were destroyed during the war.

For the sake of love - misguided love - she permanently mutilates her face ... all of it for her husband. For Julia, there's no surgery to fix her face. There's no mask. She is a soldier who fought her war, and her face bears testament to it. Her ruined face is proof of the lengths she'd go to for the sake of being loved back.

I love her character so, so much. She broke my heart, and I'm still going to have to reread this novel many, many times so that each time I'll notice something new about this incredible story.

#My Dear I Wanted to Tell You #Louisa Young #Julia Locke #ww1 #ww1 literature #character analysis

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a-taupe-fox · 2 months

Text

White Collar D/s AU: Sub Frenzy

Intro Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5 Pt. 6 Pt. 7 Pt. 8 I am being fucking HAUNTED by this White Collar concept, but I haven’t written a proper fic in like. Several fuckin’ years, and I am too realistic to think I’ll be able to keep it up once my life gets busy again in the fall. SO. White Collar D/s AU Which I Will Not Properly Write: (AKA the Sub Frenzy AU) SUB FRENZY. - Sub frenzy is when a sub starts acting out, reckless, unsustainably attention-seeking, in order to attract the attention of a Dom; behaving in a way that will hopefully prompt a Dom to reign them in. Dom!El, (Dommy!)Switch!Peter, Sub!Neal - P/E/N OT3, but at the moment, the focus is non-sexual D/s.

(Worldbuilding Stuff) MY STANDARD D/s AU RULES (If anyone cares about these, I will write a meta for it at some point, because I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about worldbuilding and language. (and also how VERY FUCKING MUCH I absolutely HATE the way that the stupid fucking traffic light system has invaded fucking BDSM fics EVERYWHERE.))

D/s is a hormone/biology thing, designation pretty much follows standard bellcurve.(20% Dom 20% sub, 60% switch.) YES = MENAYOM. NO = KISTIKA Dom (is gender neutral in this AU) = Nithdem (English term, corruption of Knight/Dame) Sub = Shuf (I did search for these, to try to make sure I'm not accidentally using terms that are actual words in languages I don't speak, and none of my searches for these turned up anything, but if I'm wrong PLEASE LET ME KNOW.) (But El and Neal switch to the French terms as pet names) NEAL: - Sub - (Came up early - around 8? which is not like. UNHEARD of, but is generally considered early enough that he should have gotten medical attention. Instead, he hid it.) Neal has SO MANY fucking self-soothing mechanisms that he has come up with over the years, and definitely some of them are more sustainable than others, but the one that works best for him is FORGING ART. He can take himself down while he’s forging, because the point is to do the exact thing that was done before. His job is to match, stroke-for-stroke, the painting that he’s copying. - In this AU, he only ever signed the shit that he made during Frenzy. The shit he makes for himself when in his headspace - it feels like betraying the Dom to sign (?) ELLEN: was the one who said things about how it was easier for subs to hide as Doms, because no one would be watching for it. She would have been his Dom, also, when he was growing up. The only long-term Dom that Neal has ever had(?)) MOZZIE: knows Neal is a sub, but Mozie's a switch, helped Neal through a drop once (?) Or found an emergency Dom? for when Neal Dropped (after Keller shot that dude who thought he’d lost his passport.)(maybe?) EL: DOM. This is a woman who knows what she wants, and fucking GETS it. She notices small things about Neal - (HE MATCHES BREATHING ALL THE TIME. (maybe that’s a really common trait for subs who come up early? Or subs who had platonic doms.)) Also little things about the way defers to Peter - ETC. And the reason is that Neal is A.- FUCKING IN FRENZY, but also. B.- Neal does the thing, - which REALLY proves he is OFF HIS FUCKING GAME - but where he’s too focused on fooling Peter, so he lets shit slip around Elizabeth. PETER: - Switch - Peter has WEIRD dynamics, because his is ENTIRELY DOM at work, and like. Pretty fucking sub at home? and this is partially why he struggles so much with work/life balance, maybe? But he is SO HAPPY to sub for El, and - even though it isn’t like, a bio-need for El to sub, they have figured out some things they can do together, where it’s enough for when Peter needs to Dom at home. JUNE; - EMANCIPATED SUB. Subs can’t do a lot of stuff, without permission from a Dom - but there IS an emancipation process. It is difficult and expensive, but Byron and June went through it. It’s not impossible, it’s just expensive and time consuming. (similarities to citizenship, maybe? It often takes years, just because there’s like, one office in every state, and it’s open two days per month.) BERRIGAN: - Dommy switch? JONES: - Switch CRUZ - Switch? ALEX HUNTER - Switch KATE - Switch SARA - ??? Sub?? (also emancipated)(I have not gotten to S2 yet, so thoughts on Sara at this point are tragically minimal.)

Next - Part 1

#White Collar #Neal Caffrey #Peter Burke #Elizabeth Burke #P/E/N #OT3 #Taupe Writes Things #Sub Frenzy AU #This is not a real fic though #This is a tragic outline that MUST BE POSTED so I can fucking think about OTHER THINGS.#Fuck #It has been so long since I posted writing I don't fucking remember my tags for it.#Writing my writing #Fic my fic #D/s AU

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bxcketbarnes · 2 years

Note

Hi! Omg I love your writing! I don’t know if you’re taking request rn or not. But can I please request something? This may or may not be a little self indulgent but…Can you please do one with Peter, where the reader is in medical school and she has a lot of assignments. She’s really stressed and doubting herself and Peter comforts her. It’s just all cute and fluffy! I would love if you wrote something like that ❤️❤️❤️

Hi! I'm so glad you love my writing and this request was absolutely wonderful. I hope it's to your liking- even though I might've drifted off of the path a smidge!

Patch Me Up, Doc

Peter climbs up the side of your apartment building before peeking into your bedroom window. He furrows his brows at the sight of you hunched over your desk, your fingers running through your hair.

He gently knocks on the glass, causing you to jump in your seat before swiftly turning around. “Peter,” you laugh and press your hand to your chest.

You stand up from your seat and walk towards the window, opening it for him. “Hey, gorgeous,” he grins cheekily and places a sloppy kiss on your cheek.

“What are you doing here? I told you I couldn’t hang out today,” you ask him while bringing your hands to his chest.

“You did say that, but I thought I would stop by. Plus, I happen to be in the neighborhood,” Peter chuckles and moves to sit on the edge of your bed.

You roll your eyes playfully and cross your arms over your chest. “In the neighborhood? Peter, you live in Queens!” You laugh and shake your head.

“And you live in Brooklyn? Where’s the problem?” He jokes with you while holding his hand out to you. “Take a ten-minute break and say hi to your boyfriend.”

“You’re ridiculous,” you mention with a smile, taking a couple of steps towards him. Peter pulls you onto his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist.

He nuzzles his face into your neck, feeling his breath hitting your skin. You let out a deep breath and comb your fingers through his hair. The two of you sit in silence, enjoying each other’s company.

“How’s the studying going?” He asks you after pulling away, his brown eyes meeting yours.

“Not very good,” you mumble in defeat, shifting your gaze towards your textbooks. “I can feel myself getting a headache and… I feel like I’m not retaining any of the information.”

Peter brings one of his hands to your face and strokes your cheek softly. “You need a break, honey,” he whispers.

You shake your head in response, removing yourself from his lap. “I-I can’t. This is my final grade. This determines if I pass the class and I-I need to. My future depends on this,” you sigh and plop back down in your computer chair. “My family will ridicule me if I fail.”

Tears slip from your eyes and you swivel your chair around, not wanting Peter to see you like this. You feel his hands on your shoulders and he starts to gently massage them.

“You’re so fucking smart, honey. It’s one of my favorite things about you, this big brain of yours,” he chuckles and presses a kiss on the top of your head. “You’re going to do so well and when you smash this exam, I’m going to take you out to a fancy dinner.”

You lean back against the chair, your head resting against Peter’s torso. “You really believe that?” You ask in a whisper, looking up at him through your lashes.

“Absolutely,” he grins and kisses your forehead. Your eyes flutter shut as his lips linger against your skin.

“Thank you, Peter,” you whisper to him. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

He chuckles and pepper kisses along the top half of your face. “I wouldn’t survive without you,” he confesses while twirling your chair around.

“Well, that makes two of us,” you laugh before gently biting your lip. The smile suddenly drops from your boyfriend’s lips, his back stiffening. You watch as he glances over his shoulder, following his line of sight. “Peter? What is it?”

You go to stand up when he pushes you back in your chair. “I don’t know, but I’m going to find out. Stay home and keep the doors and windows locked,” he tells you before leaning down to capture your lips in a kiss. “I’ll see you later.”

“I love you,” you breathe out, feeling your heart pounding against your chest.

Peter pulls his clothes off, revealing the red and blue spandex underneath them. “I love you,” he kisses you once more before pulling his mask over his face, sprinting out your open window.

Your fingers gently rub your forehead and try to stay focused on your studies, but you haven’t heard from Peter in over six hours. A deep breath leaves your lips and you glance at your phone for the umpteenth time.

You tuck your hair behind your ears and pull out your anatomy textbook, deciding to give up on studying for your exam. “Okay,” you mumble to yourself, combing your fingers through your hair.

The sound of knocking makes your pick your head up. You glance towards your bedroom door, listening closely to make sure you weren’t hearing things.

Another knock echoes off the walls and you twirl around in your chair, realizing the noise came from your window. “Peter,” you gasp and almost tumble out of your chair. You pull back the curtains to see your boyfriend clutching his side.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he grunts and you push open the window, letting him in.

“Peter, what happened?” You ask him while helping him into your room. You drape his arm over your shoulder and bring him to your bed.

He lays down on it and pulls his mask off. “I got into a scuffle,” he groans as you kneel onto your bed.

“A scuffle? Peter, you’re bleeding,” you tell him while trying to pull his suit off him. Your breath hitches in your throat at the two large gashes on his abdomen. “Peter!”

“Sweetheart, I’m okay,” he mutters while turning his head to face you. His masked hand grabs a hold of yours as you inspect the wound. “Sweetness.”

Your eyes flick up to his, noticing the weak smile on his lips. “I-I need to clean you up,” you stutter as tears come to your eyes. You’ve never seen him this hurt and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t worried. “Stay there.”

You slide off your bed and grab the medkit from the bathroom. Peter sighs and pushes himself to sit up. “Y/N, I can heal on my own,” he calls out to you while shoving the rest of his suit off, leaving him in just boxers.

“I don’t care, Peter. I’m cleaning you up. I-I can’t look at you when you’re soaked in blood,” you tell him, walking back into your bedroom. He notices the tear stains on your cheeks as you wipe your skin with your free hand.

He stays quiet as you kneel in front of him, placing the medkit on your bed. You tie your hair back while flicking on the lamp beside you. You sniffle a bit and grab the alcohol wipe from the kit. “Are you gonna tell me that it’s going to sting a bit?” He tries to lighten the mood, his fingertips brushing your forearm.

You look up at him through your lashes, seeing the light smile on your boyfriend’s lips. You snort and shake your head. “Stop it. I know what you’re doing. Let me be upset,” you tell him, dragging the alcohol wipe across his abdomen. Peter lets out a hiss as you collect most of the blood on his stomach.

“I just want you to smile, sweetheart,” he sighs and tilts his head back. You stop what you’re doing and return your gaze to him.

“I know it’s your duty to make sure the city is safe,” you start talking and resume cleaning his wounds, “and I may be studying to be a doctor, but that doesn’t mean you can grow reckless. Coming home with a couple of bruises is fine, but Peter… you could’ve bled out for all I know.”

After you finish attending to his wounds, you start to clean up. “I know, sweetheart,” he mentions as you walk into your bathroom again. You throw the bloody wipes into the trash and stash your medkit back under your sink. You rest your hands against the edge of the sink and drop your head. “But, believe me when I say that I can heal. Sure, it takes a few hours, but I heal. You don’t need to worry.”

You shake your head again and glance towards the bathroom door. Peter leans against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest. Your gaze shifts to his abdomen, your eyes widening when you notice the healing process had already started. “Even if you can heal- I-I’m still going to worry about you. I love you, Peter,” you sigh while walking towards him.

“And I love you. I do this for you,” he whispers while bringing his hand to your face, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“I don’t need you getting hurt to protect me,” you mumble while leaning into his touch. Peter leans forward and places a gentle kiss on your forehead.

His fingers comb through your hair before he chuckles. “But, then this really really pretty doctor won’t patch me up,” he teases while pulling back, a smirk coming to his lips.

You roll your eyes, finding yourself smiling at your floor. “Shut up,” you giggle and walk past him. “Why can I never be mad at you?”

Peter holds his hands out and tilts his head to the side a bit. “Because you love me too much,” he grins, taking two steps towards you. “Also, you want me coming home to you?”

A dark blush covers your cheeks and you cross your arms over your chest. “Pfft, what? N-No, that’s not what I meant,” you stumble over your words. Your boyfriend walks even closer to you, placing his hands on your arms. “Really? That’s too bad because I would love to come home to you every day… for the rest of my life.”

Taglist: @thewxntersoldier @jessalyn-jpeg @reddesert-healourblues @maddz-world @jeanettexkillian @writing-for-marvel @luveline @danny-the-coolest

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bouncyballcitadel · 4 years

Text

Thanks for Clicking!

As a healthcare professional-in-training, I’ve been working on a medical drama game with a healthy dash of romance added.

Please note, Citadel and this Tumblr may contain adult themes unsuitable for underage readers.

Please enjoy and leave comments/suggestions/etc.! Also, feel free to leave something in the ask box!

It’s the not-so-distant future, and the landscape of medicine has been irrevocably changed. Once incurable diseases are now completely manageable. Metastatic cancer. Alzheimer’s. These patients have a new lease on life, and it’s all thanks to Citadel Health’s NINO technique. But, like all innovations in medicine, there’s more to it than meets the eye…

Play as a first-year surgery intern at Citadel Health. Will you become the star intern and curry the favor of the chief? Or will you uncover Citadel Health’s secrets and break a story or two? This will be the best and worst year of your life. Don’t forget to save lives and break some hearts along the way.

Current Demo Word Count: 127,000+ words

Elliot/Ellen Sanford (he/him, she/her):

Your roommate, and Citadel Health medicine intern. You and Eli have known each other since the beginning of medical school. Can come off as a bit of a slacker, but cares deeply about providing the best possible care to patients. Aspires to become a geriatrician.

Davy Jackson (they/them):

Fellow Citadel Health surgery intern. Very self-assured, very sassy. Has huge ambitions to become a leading surgeon of the NINO technique and isn’t afraid to hide them. Whether they’re your friend, frenemy, or enemy is up to you.

Jean Liu (she/her, he/him):

Resident (hah!) coffee-drinker, and Citadel Health medicine intern. Born and bred in the Bay Area, this is really their first time out of California (and they’re already regretting it…). Would love to do a fellowship in Pulmonology/Critical Care to become an ICU attending.

Victor/Victoria Uytterhoeven (he/him, she/her):

One of the chief surgery residents at Citadel Health. Strict, jacked, and full of angst.

Dr. Peter Grey (he/him):

Chief of NINO Surgery at Citadel Health, and one of the early pioneers of the NINO technique. Perfect for your McDreamy fantasies.

Dr. Ivy Sloan (she/her):

Medicine attending at Citadel Health. Smiles rarely. Compliments residents even more rarely. Perfect for your House fantasies.

Full Cast Art by the wonderful @enspey

DEMO || DISCORD || PATREON || KO-FI || AO3 || FORUM

Citadel Short Snippet Compendium

Citadel Art - search #citadel art on this Tumblr!

DJ Citadel (Master Playlist) or search #dj citadel for individual RO playlists!

Citadel Surgery Intern Class

Artists I’ve Commissioned

Bouncy’s IF/Visual Novel Recs

10/8/2023

Hi everyone!

A couple things...

I got COVID for a month lol 😷

I got a dog (much more exciting)! 🐶

I'm hoping to release Case Three: Chapter Two by the end of October/early November, but in the meantime...

Short snippet commissions are again open on my Ko-Fi for $10/snippet! Currently, there's 3 slots available.

Patreon Residents tier ($5/month) and up get 1-week early access to short snippets, so consider subscribing (and supporting resident wellness 😉).

Cheers!

Banners made by the lovely and very, very talented @deflatedball

#citadelwip #choice of games #hostedgames #choiceofgames #hosted games #interactive fiction #interactive story #interactive novel #dashingdon #if you like #choices open heart #open heart #grey’s anatomy

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strawberri-vanilla · 2 years

Text

~General info~

(TWs, Rules, Ask hints)

Lets start off with the TWs before going any further~

TWs:

Abuse

Obsession

Stalking

Blood

Violence

Partial Nudity

ED (Bulimia, Binging, Purging)

Paranoia

Depression

Anxiety

Mental Disorder

Self Medicating

Horror

-More to be added-

Stay safe babes~

🔪 General ask rules❤️

Asking about other characters from the game is fine

Asking for their perspective is fine

Answered asks are canon to the blog, if one of them ends up killing someone that's a canon tally to their kill count

M!A is allowed

Keep in mind Mod has a life outside the blog and be respectful of that please

💜 Ask Rules for Emmi💜

If you try and flirt with Peter she’ll react poorly

Don’t try and trigger her purposefully or bad things will happen

Don’t ask for fetishy things, I ain’t drawin no feet pics

💙Ask Rules for Peter🖤

If you try and flirt with Emmi it probably won’t end well

Trying to fuck with his mental state will influence how he acts for the short/long term

Tbh for both of them its a very “Fuck around and Find out” sort of thing

⚫Ask hints⚫

Emmi:

Ask Emmi about her family members

Emmi’s Job

Emmi’s relationship with other characters

Questions about her past

Ask her about Peter

Ask her about Daniel

Ask her for useless facts and trivia

Ask her about what happened to Peter’s therapist

Peter:

Ask Peter about when he was stalking Emmi

Ask him about Emmi’s ex

About their relations with other characters

How they’re doing

About where they live

Ask him about his therapist

Feel free to have fun with what if scenarios

Ask him about Rat

Now how the heckles do I pin posts

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annathesillyfriend · 3 years

Text

Anna's April Fic Recs ✨

Hello everyone, wellcome to my April fic recommendations (part 1) masterpost! This is a new thing I want to try to do and create a list like that twice a month. It really pains me that the amazing authors out there don't get the recognition they dereserve so I'm gonna do what I can to spread my love for them. I also hope more people will get to experience the joy of reading all these wonderful works!

To all the writers - I love you and I appreciate you so much! To all the readers - please, share the fics you read and love. The reblog really makes the change! It's the least we could do to show our gratitude.

Without further ado, here are the fic I read this month and adored

MARVEL

Bucky Barnes

Take a chance on me by @jurassicbarnes

one-shot, single mum!au, fwb to lovers

Bucky's game nights by @eurynome827

series, slow burn, they're playing games with their hearts

Baby fever by @youlightmeupfinn

one-shot, who wouldn't want that man as their baby daddy?

All yours by @babyboibucky

one-shot, 18+, tfatws!Bucky

A single thread by @jobean12-blog

one-shot, coffeeshop with Buck

New adventures by @celestialbarnes

one-shot, best friends to lovers

Beautiful girl by @borkingbarnes

one-shot, a morning with Buck

Erase every trace by @angrythingstarlight

one-shot, 18+, tfatws!Bucky

What you need by @buckycuddlebuddy

one-shot, 18+, best friend and roommate!Bucky, a cam is involved 👀

Cookies, kisses and such by @sweetbucky

one-shot, friends to lovers

The Match by @/babyboibucky

series, ceo!bucky

Policework by @jurassicbarnes

one-shot, police detectives!au

Eyes on you by @kleohoneyao3

one-shot, 18+

Take me as I am, whoever I am by @/jurassicbarnes

one-shot, 18+

Greedy by @/babyboibucky

one-shot, 18+, hot hot hot!

Destructive by @buckybarnesdiaries

one-shot, Bucky's scared of his feelings

Sunday kinda' love by @msmarvelwrites

one-shot, 18+, some things are more important than breakfast

Separation, connection (part 2) by @firefly-in-darkness

two-shot, 18+, the angst is strong in this one

Angel on her knees by @/babyboibucky

one-shot, 18+, Bucky gets some love hehe

Feelings are fatal by @sunmoonandbucky

series, steve leaves to be with Peggy, reader deals with the loss

It's messy inside, let me take your coat by @/divine-mistake

one-shot, 18+, plus size!reader

Beautiful people by @nacho-bucky

series, plus size!reader, the most real, beautiful, human story

Sam Wilson

Dancing with Sam Wilson would include... by @certifiedskywalker

head cannon, the title says it all

Positions by @luciilferss

one-shot, 18+, Sam's a gem Monday through Sunday

Identity by @samwilsons-pillowpecs

series, Sam loses memory and they say he wanted to kill Bucky

Amartment 3C by @/bohemianpages

series, Sam comes back from the snap to find his flat occupied

Honest by @xbuchananbarnes

one-shot, tfatws!sam

The first time you realise you are in love by @barnesnroses

part of a mini series, the fluff 😫

Walk me home by @whisperlullaby

one-shot, Sam comes to the rescue

Memory loss by @/captain-kelli

series, Sam and reader are on a hunt for winter solider

SamBucky

Cratures of habit by @callitdreamland

miniseries, sambucky x reader

How sweet it is by @indyluckycharlie

series, sambucky modern!au

The therapist by @holylulusworld

mini series, y/n helps them with their problems

Steve Rogers

Glitter by @sarahwroteathing

one-shot, elementary teacher!Steve x single mom!reader

Error by @buckysknifecollection

one-shot, de-serumed!steve

Words whispered in the dark by @anika-ann

part of the Attached series or stand alone, modern-college-professor AU, 18+

Corrupting a good boy by @donutloverxo

series, ceo!steve x desi!reader

Cash rules everything around me by @/slyyywriting

series, stripper!steve

Where the love light gleams by @/sunmoonandbucky

series, social media!au

Sharon Carter

Permanent by @/samwilsons-pillowpecs

one-shot, tattoo artist!sharon

Loki Laufeyson

Steam by @the--sad--hatter

series, slowburn, enemies to frenemies to idiots in love

Peter Parker

Love sick and a little bit drunk by @spideyspeaches

one-shot, collage!peter

Invisible string by @peterbenjiparker

series, soulmate!au

Don't hold back by @hollandcrush

one-shot, 18+, college!peter

Dancing with our hand tied by @/justeclipseblogs

series, stark!reader, enemies to lovers

My medication by @/kelieah

one-shot, broken teens in love

HOLLAND & CO.

Tom Holland

Lockscreen by @cherrycheridarling

one-shot, famous!reader

Monday mornings by @blissfulparker

one-shot, professor!tom x professor!reader

Written in the stars by @ptersmj

one-shot, fuff!!!

Hooked on your feelings by @heyhihellowhatsup0

series, fwb!tom

Ski date by @tetralea

one-shot, 18+, idiots in love, friends to lovers

Take sugar? by @/hollandcrush

one-shot, carpenter!tom x ex-best friend!reader, 18+

I swear to God I never fall in love by @hazofmyheart

one-shot, fratboy!tom, 18+, spoiler alert: he does

Break up with your girlfriend by @rosyparkers

one-shot, 18+, frat football player!tom, cheerleader!y/n, fwb au

Perennial by @peeterparkr

series, sequel to Perdify, the biggest oof moment yet

All for her by @screamholland

series, single dad!tom

Royal convinience by @/poetrcy

series, royal!au

Kiss me slowly by @/storybookholland

one-shot, soft frat!tom

Harry Holland

Always by @/multiholland

series, best freind!harry

Sam Holland

'tis the damn season by @/unsaidholland

one-shot, ex boyfriend!sam

Our night by @/storybookholland

one-shot, jealous!sam

Harrison Osterfield

No way by @soft-haz

one-shot, friends to lovers

Second self by @/soft-haz

one-shot, 18+, reader gives Haz a hand wink wink

Harrison mastelist by @allegra-writes

lots of great Haz things!

Bet on it by @storybookholland

series, fwb

THE IRREGULARS

Whole masterlist by @uglypastels

these all wonderful!! you should also check out the amazing art works at the bottom of this masterlist

LEO

The Fountain of Ichor by @thegirlintheswivelchair

series, leo x lady-in-waiting!reader

OTHERS

Anthony Bridgerton

Sham, pride and illicit affairs by @/peeterparkr

series, quite possibly the most poetic fic ever written

Coming home again by @/misstonybridgerton

series, old friends reunite

Spencer Reid

An Interesting Electronic by @/homoose

one-shot, 18+

Frank Adler

I ruined our sweet tune by @/rodrikstark

one-shot, kinda professor!frank

Ransom Drysdale

The Five Times You Told Ransom Drysdale You Loved Him (And The One Time He Said It Back) by @just-one-ordinary-fangirl

one-shot, childhood friends to life gets in the way to lovers

Sacrilage by @the-iceni-bitch

one-shot, 18+, you'll have to shower in holy water after this

Okay, I might have gone a little overboard but hey, there's no such thing as too much good fanfiction!

Enjoy! 🥰

#april fic recs #april fic recs part 1 #fic rec #anna's fic recs #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #sam wilson x reader #tom holland x reader #harrison osterfield x reader #sambucky x reader #sambucky #peter parker x reader

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shewhohangsoutincemeteries · 4 years

Text

oasis

Peter Quill x Reader

Prompt: “can we share the blanket?”

Summary: quill catches you building a blanket fort to surprise groot with, and surprises you by helping. the two of you decide to test it out before the crew get back, and he shows you a side of him you haven’t really seen before.

Warnings: smut, fluff, hint of angst, oral sex (female receiving), vaginal sex, adult language.

Word Count: 4,486

Got a Request? Prompt List: here

follow my fanfiction blog

You were humming quietly along with the dulcet sound of the Fleetwood Mac you’d left playing over the ship’s speakers, enjoying the way it echoed lightly down the metal walls of the corridor towards you. You made your way down to the cargo bay of the Benatar, your arms piled high with the sheets and blankets you’d just pilfered from your bunk. You cursed quietly to yourself as the toe of your slipper caught on a seam in the floor, tripping you up slightly as you went. Still, it did nothing to dull your good mood.

You dumped the blankets on the floor once you reached the quiet corner of the cargo bay you’d selected earlier, joining the stacks of pillows you’d already brought out between two shoulder-high storage crates. You smiled, pleased with yourself, releasing a happy sigh before setting about your self-appointed task. You never got hours like this, peaceful, simple moments without the sounds of crewmates arguing or the clattering of metal on metal. You loved your life with the Guardians, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t sometimes crave the quiet.

You bent over, searching through the stack of blankets for the biggest.

“Not that I mind the view, but you wanna tell me what you’re doing with my bedding?”

You jumped, startled, before arching your neck to look back over your shoulder. Peter Quill was standing behind you, leaning his shoulder against the ladder to the cockpit with his arms folded across his chest. He’d removed his jacket since re-boarding, the short sleeves of his tee shirt showcasing the muscles in his arms. He had an eyebrow raised in wry amusement, a trademark smirk on his lips. You rolled your eyes at him before turning back to what you were doing, unsure if you’d imagined his gaze lingering over your backside.

“Your bedding is safe. This is all from crew quarters,” you assured him. Both you and Mantis struggled with the cold of the ship when you were off world, so you’d made it a mission even before she’d joined the crew to always have more than enough blankets on board. They’d kind of become bulky souvenirs of the planets you visited, and you usually kept them stacked in a locker in the corner of the bunk you shared with her and Gamora. Thankfully now that you’d all upgraded to the Benatar, you had more space – while Quill, as captain, still had his own private quarters, there was now an extra bunk for Drax, Rocket and Groot to use. You glanced down at the pillow in front of you. “…and a few from the medical supply crate.”

“What, you finally got sick of hearing Drax’s snoring through the wall?”

You turned around to face him properly, sitting cross-legged on the floor. “Are you kidding? It’s like white noise to me now. I don’t think I could ever sleep again without an active sawmill present.” Quill chuckled. “What are you doing back? You guys only left like an hour ago.”

He shrugged. “Xandar gets boring fast.”

It was your turn to raise a brow. “There’s a whole planet out there full of gullible idiots, pretty women with loose morals, and plentiful booze. What more could you want?”

“Wow.” he snickered. “I feel seen.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “So? Why couldn’t all the wonders of Xandar’s seedy underbelly hold your attention, Star Lord?”

He ignored the question, the easy smile still on his lips. “The hell are you doing, Y/N?”

“Why don’t you come join me and find out?”

He gave you a smirk, the glint in his eyes mischievous. “Can we share the blanket?”

“I think there’s more than enough to go around,” you said dryly, and his smile widened. Your impatient answers to his flirty remarks always seemed to entertain him. Which was probably why he kept doing it. “But that would be the idea.”

“Huh?”

You pulled one of the pillows to your chest and wrapped your arms around it. “It’s a surprise. For Groot.”

“Is he sick of Drax’s snoring?”

You rolled your eyes good-naturedly, standing and shaking out one of the largest, heavier quilts. You flung it over the crates, letting it hang over them like a canopy. “I’m building him a pillow fort, jackass.”

“A pillow fort.”

“Yup.”

“A pillow fort.”

You gave him an exasperated look. “Quill.”

“Why exactly?”

“C’mon, dude.” you said, tossing a pillow at him. He caught it, one-handed, with a grin. “Didn’t you ever build a pillow fort as a kid?”

Peter was quiet for a moment before he made a show of rolling his eyes and shrugging. Still, a small smile teased at the corner of his lips. “Want a hand?”

***

You sighed in satisfaction, wiping your hands together as you surveyed your work. The two of you had, on his suggestion, shoved the crates back against the wall, and in the little alcove you’d created together was one hell of a pillow fort. You’d draped sheets and blankets over the entire thing and layered more over the metal floor. Pillows had been thrown into haphazard piles, making the whole thing seem like some kind of gaudy, cozy nest. Quill had surprised you by rigging the string of lights he and Rocket sometimes used to do repairs at night to a much lower brightness and had hung them around the makeshift tent like the fairy lights you’d had as a kid.

“I think it’s safe to say that we nailed it.” you said proudly, holding up a hand. Peter grinned beside you, slapping it with his own in a high-five. “Groot is gonna love it. Storytime was always better in a fort when I was a kid.”

“Wanna try it out?”

You grinned widely at him, and the two of you dropped to your knees at the same time. Peter held the ‘door’ open for you, letting it drop closed behind him as he crawled inside after you. You turned to collapse happily among the cushions, sighing contentment as you stretched out languidly. Peter took a similar position beside you; the two of you barely fit inside, his shoulder bumping against yours. You bent your knees and drew them up towards you to bring them inside the fort, and you hooked one over one of his. He had his bent as well, and your foot dangled a couple of inches off the floor. He tucked his hand behind his head, looking over at you with an amused smile.

“Comfy?”

Peter looked up, considering the fort. “Y’know, I don’t think we made it big enough.”

You furrowed your brow, turning your head to look at him. “What d’you mean? Groot and I will be fine in here.”

He shrugged. “I’m just sayin’, we barely fit in here as it is…”

“Why, Peter Ignatius Quill,” you said teasingly, laughing when he cocked an eyebrow at you. “Are you saying that you want to join us for story time?”

“You know that’s not my middle name, right?”

“I blanked.” you admitted with a shrug. “What is it?”

He laughed loudly, the sound breaking through the peaceful bubble the two of you had created between the blankets. “It’s Jason!”

“My bad,” you giggled, shying away from his as he reached out to poke you in the side. “It was the first thing I thought of!”

“Think of something cooler next time!”

“Alright, alright…” you surrendered, turning your head towards him and reaching over to prod his arm with a fingertip. “But don’t dodge the question. Are you – the big, bad, space pirate leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy—saying you would like to come read children’s stories with me and Groot?”

“It is such a turn on when you start describing me like that.”

You rolled your eyes. “Shut up.”

“Seriously, I get all tingly, all the way down to my—"

“You’re still avoiding the question.” you said pointedly, cutting him off. He breathed a quiet chuckle as you did, his bottom lip catching between his teeth. “Story time?”

“Well, why not?”

“You know we’ve moved past picture books, right?”

He smacked you lazily on the bicep with the back of his hand by way of retort, letting his hand fall back to rest on his stomach. He interlocked his fingers above his belt buckle, the picture of casual relaxation. Your leg was still thrown over his, your calf pressed against his inner thigh. His gaze returned to the canopy above, and you studied the angle of his jaw absentmindedly, your eyes tracing along the dusting of strawberry blonde stubble that seemed darker in the muted light. “I spent a good chunk of my quality time building this stupid thing, I should get some use out of it.”

You raised a cynical brow, amused. The two of you never could help but poke at each other with childish barbs and banter, maybe even more so than the two of you dished it out to the other members of the crew. Maybe it was a reflex at this point, but it was still always entertaining. You affected an offended tone as you spoke again, even with a smile on your face. “Well, if you think it’s so stupid, why’d you spend all this time on it?”

“It’s not…” Peter sighed, shaking his head. “Sorry. It’s not stupid. It’s just…”

Your brow furrowed as you watched him struggle to find the words. You sobered, surprised that he hadn’t caught you in your joke. Instead, he seemed… flustered. “Quill?”

“You know, I forgot about it ‘til now.” he said ruefully, almost disbelievingly. He raised a hand to run his fingers through his hair. “…I used to build these when I was a kid.”

“Yeah…” you said slowly, confused. “I mean, a lot of kids did…”

He sighed, shaking his head. “No, I mean when my Mom got sick.”

“Oh.”

It was all you could think to say.

“It got… it got really hard, once she was hospitalized.” he said, a small, sad smile playing on his lips. His voice was soft and thoughtful, almost as if he’d forgotten you were there. Even so many years later, you could hear the thread of pain in his words. He reached up to touch his fingers to the edge of one of the blankets. “I built one of these one night, and basically never left it. I’d tuck myself away in it for hours with my Walkman and just ignore the rest of the world. Got to the point where I didn’t even come out for meals; Grandpa had to drag me outta there every day for school.”

You hesitated a moment before reaching over slowly and covering his hand with your own. “Peter…”

His eyebrows twitched upward as he looked down at your hand in surprise. You felt his hand turn under yours, his fingers smoothing almost carefully over your skin as he took hold of it. He looked up, turning his head to meet your eye. “You never call me that.”

You could feel the rise and fall of his stomach against your fingers with each breath he took. The edge of his belt buckle brushed against your knuckle; a stark coldness compared to the surprising heat of his body. You meant your response to be cavalier, dismissive even, at this sudden change in the atmosphere between the two of you. Instead, it came out softly, barely more than a murmur. “Sure, I do.”

He shook his head, a small smile curving at one side of his mouth. Even though neither of you had moved, he seemed so much closer to you now, the two of you shoulder to shoulder. “No, you don’t. Not really. Closest you’ve ever gotten was tacking ‘Ignatius’ on it just now.”

You shook your head in amusement, smiling back at him. “It was a joke.”

His thumb brushed rhythmically over the back of your hand, his head turning to look back up at the blankets above you. “Sure it was.”

“What do you care?” you said teasingly. “I didn’t think you liked your first name so much, Star Lord.”

He shrugged the shoulder pressed against yours, meeting your eye again. His eyes were dark in the dull light, shining with amusement and affection. They were almost magnetic, and you felt warmth rise in your cheeks as your gaze fell to his lips briefly. You felt his hand squeeze yours, and there was a charming, knowing quirk to his lips that made your heartbeat quicken.

You swallowed as he leaned towards you, and when he spoke, his lips were barely an inch from yours, his voice was so soft that you almost didn’t hear it over your own heart.

“I don’t mind it so much when you say it.”

Peter’s lips met yours, brushing against them in a chaste, whisper of a kiss. It was soft and gentle, his nose bumping against yours. His tongue touched your bottom lip as you parted them to breathe, his thumb still smoothing circles over your hand. You felt a shiver tingle its way up your spine, and his other hand came up to slide over the leg still thrown over his as he rolled onto his side to face you. His tongue slid languidly over yours, and you could feel his smile as he kissed you more deeply.

You exhaled shakily against his lips as his hand smoothed up your thigh, and he gave a light snicker as you parted, his forehead pressed against yours.

“Apparently you really like it.” you said after a moment, your voice unsteady. He grinned, his hand still trailing slowly up your leg, and your breath caught as it teased down to your inner thigh. He moved to kiss you again, but you pressed your free hand to his chest. “Peter.”

He smiled softly and reached up to tuck hair behind your ear, his fingers trailing along your jaw. “Yeah?”

“What exactly are we doing?”

He smirked, his face moving towards yours again. “Want me to draw you a diagram?”

Peter kissed you again, his hand on the side of your neck. You let it linger for a moment, your fingers curling in the front of his shirt and tugging him closer. Peter responded eagerly, his hand moving down to take hold of your hip and pulling you towards him. You rolled onto your side, and Peter slung your leg up over his hip, his hand sliding up the back of it. It lingered just below the curve of your ass, gripping your leg almost possessively.

You felt his hips press suggestively into yours, and you couldn’t help but whimper against his lips, your hand tugging at the hair at the back of his head. Peter chuckled as you did, and you pulled away, embarrassed by your reaction.

You moved your hand to his shoulder, avoiding his gaze and looking down at his chest. You took a steadying breath, willing your heart to stop pounding. “Peter.”

You could feel a quiet laugh in his chest, his hand moving up to your waist. You shivered as his fingers ghosted up under your shirt to tease at bare skin. “Y/N.”

Your lips parted, intent on questioning him again… to ask what you were doing, where this sudden change in your friendship had come from… to ask what would happen later, if you didn’t stop. But then you felt the gentle, affectionate brush of his lips against your forehead, and suddenly, you didn’t feel the need to talk anymore. Instead, you met his eyes for a moment before you kissed him again, cupping his cheek in your hand.

Peter smiled into the kiss, the hand on your hip moving to the small of your back, urging you closer to him. The cold metal of his belt buckle was a stark contrast to the heat of his body, and your ran your other hand down his stomach to the hem of his shirt. He groaned lightly into your mouth as your fingers crept under his shirt to caress the smooth skin of his stomach. You traced your nails over the muscles, and they twitched in response.

His hand moved to your ass, squeezing it eagerly and urging you closer. Peter slung his hips into yours, and you whimpered into his kiss at the feeling of him hardening against your thigh. Your hand moved to his side, and he broke the kiss with a light laugh, his face falling to the crook of your neck.

You grinned widely. “Are you ticklish?”

“Pfft, no!” he scoffed obnoxiously, wriggling away from you as you ran your fingertips across his waist again. “You—”

He caught hold of your hands, forcing you onto your back and straddling your waist. He pinned them on either side of your head, a cocksure smirk on his face as he looked down at you. “Now you’re in trouble.”

You snickered, wetting your lips with your tongue. You pushed your hips up into his suggestively. “Yeah? What are you gonna do about it, Star Lord?”

His grin widened, interlacing his fingers with yours and moving them above your head as he bent down towards you. His nose brushed lightly against yours, his mouth hovering teasingly above yours. You arched up to kiss him again, and he moved out of reach playfully, instead trailing kisses along your jaw and down the side of your neck.

He lingered over your pulse point, and your eyes closed, a light moan escaping you as he sucked a mark into your skin. “Oh, well, that just sounded… cute.” He murmured against your skin, releasing your hands, and tugging your shirt up over your stomach. “But, that’s not what I’m looking for.”

He moved down to press kisses down your stomach, and you ran a hand through his hair. He leaned into it as he undid your jeans with practiced ease, and your hand tightened reflexively as he tugged them roughly down your thighs. Goosebumps erupted over your legs, his nose ghosting over your stomach and his teeth catching the waistband of your underwear and snapping it against your skin teasingly.

“And what exactly are you— Oh!” you jerked under him as he forced your legs apart and bit your inner thigh, his hands gripping tightly at your hips as he lathed his tongue over the mark he left behind.

“Closer…”

“I’m not ticklish, Quill.” you told him, rolling your eyes as you caught on to what he was trying to do. “But I— fuck, Peter!”

You bucked under him as he pushed your underwear to the side and rolled his tongue against your clit, your hand tightening in his hair. He snickered at your reaction, the sound devolving into a groan as your nails scraped against his scalp, his stubble agitating the sensitive skin of your inner thigh as he brought you undone with his tongue.

The lights danced behind your eyelids as Peter slid two fingers inside you; tucked away in your little oasis and feeling everything he did to you made your heart flutter and your stomach tighten. You grabbed at the pillow under your head as you rolled your hips up into him, your chest heaving. “Pete—fuck, don’t… God, I’m gonna—”

He sucked on your clit and you came, arching up against him and your thighs clenching around him. You moaned aloud as you did, too loud for your little hideaway, eyes squeezed shut and toes curling. Peter continued to slowly pump his fingers inside you as he moved up to kiss your hip softly before straightening into a kneel between your legs. He watched his hand, his thumb circling lightly over your clit. He broke into a wide smirk as you twitched at the sensation, his eyes travelling up your body to your face. “Yeah, you love it.”

You bumped your knee hard against his side by way of retort and he finally withdrew his hand with a grin, holding your gaze as he licked his fingers clean. “You’re an ass.”

“Yeah?” he ran a hand up your thigh, his other unbuckling his belt. “What are you gonna do about it?”

You pushed yourself up onto your elbow, fisting a hand in his shirt and dragging him down for a kiss. It was long, and languid, his tongue sliding over yours, his hand on your hip and his thumb hooked in the waistband of your underwear. You broke away to tug at his shirt pointedly and he straightened to pull it off. Your eyes followed the muscles of his arms, your hand smoothing over a pectoral as he leaned down to kiss you again. He dropped the shirt to the side, moving to remove yours as well.

You stopped him, urging him back down onto the cushions. You swung a leg over his hips slowly, running your hands down his chest before pulling off your shirt. Peter’s eyes dropped heatedly to your chest as you unclipped your bra, his lips parting. He looked almost awed as he stared up at you, his face cast in shadows by the dull lights above you. Your spine tingled at his expression, and you held his gaze as you ran your hands over your chest and rolled your hips slowly over his.

Peter’s head fall back against the pillows at the sensation, his eyes closing and a soft groan slipping between his lips. The sound was intoxicating, as was the feeling of the hard length of his erection pressing up against you. You bit your lip, brow creased as you slowly continued to grind against him. His hands slid up over your thighs, squeezing them rhythmically with every roll of your hips.

You scratched your nails lightly down his stomach before unfastening his pants and wrapping your fingers around his cock. His breath caught as you did, leaving him in a shaky sigh as you stroked him, moved your underwear to the side and slowly sunk down onto his erection. “Jesus Christ, Y/N…”

“Yeah,” you said breathlessly, offering him a cocky smile of your own. “You love it.”

He laughed quietly, taking hold of your hips as you began to fuck yourself onto him slowly. You leaned forward to take hold of his biceps, enjoying the feel of the bulging muscles under your hands as you rode him. He encouraged you to grind against his pelvic bone and you whimpered; you could feel him stretching you wonderfully, each corkscrew of your hips sending sparks dancing up your lower back.

“Fuck, you feel good,” he muttered, watching you with half-lidded eyes. He ran a hand up your side to your ribs, his thumb resting along the curve of the underside of your breast. “You’re like… fuck, you’re like…”

“Having trouble finding the words there, Star Lord?” you teased quietly, your head lolling back, your eyes closed. You moaned as he pinched your nipple, rolling it between his fingers.

“Can’t help it,” he replied, exhaling slowly as you down to press kisses to his collarbone. His hand moved to your hair, bunching by your ear, and you felt his lips brush the top of your head. “None of my blood is exactly rushing to my brain right now.”

“I’m flattered,” you joked lightly, nipping playfully at his throat.

“But I can say: you call me that again, and this’ll be over a lot quicker than it should be.”

You giggled into his neck, kissing him headily before straightening again. You ran your hands up your sides, bouncing languidly on top of him. Each rise and fall had him sliding against your g-spot, and you bit your lip, your eyes rolling back as his hand returned to your sex. He circled your clit with his thumb and you moaned brokenly.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’ve got fucking fantastic tits, sweets?”

You whined, cupping your breasts and squeezing. Your hips jerked as he pinched your clit, and he swore, thrusting up into you. “Somehow, it – oh, fuck, Peter—”

“God, you’ve got the sweetest voice,” he sat up, his free hand ghosting up your side and gliding over your chest. You shivered at the feeling of it, falling against him, your hips never stopping. Peter’s fingers quickened on your clit as you wrapped your arms around his neck, and he murmured in your ear as you tightened around him, an intoxicating mix of sweet nothings and cursing. You ran your fingers through his hair, clinging to him s you felt your orgasm approach.

Peter wrapped his other arm around your waist and bit down on your shoulder, and you came with a cry, hips stuttering against his as each wave of it hit.

Peter hooked his fingers under your chin and raised it gently from where your face was buried against his neck, pressing a kiss to your temple… your cheek… your forehead… the tip of your nose… as you came down, before cupping your face in his hand and capturing you in another breath-stealing kiss.

You rode him unsteadily as your hips shuddered with aftershocks, your thighs squeezing around him. Peter grunted against your lips, his moan muffled as he came, still buried inside you.

“Y/N…”

You kissed him again, your chest heaving against his, eyes fluttering open as you finally caught your breath. “Mmm?”

He grinned at you, pushing hair out of your face with a careful hand. “Yeah. You love it.”

You shoved at his chest, smiling as he laughed in response. You climbed off of his lap shakily, your face warm. “You’re such a—”

Peter let himself fall back against the pillows again, refastening his pants but not bothering with his belt. “Heartthrob? Casanova? Sexual—”

“Deviant?”

Peter smirked, reaching up to ruffle your hair. You ducked away from him, smacking at his arm as you found your bra and clipped it back into place. “Where’re you going?”

“The last thing we need is for the crew to come back and find us like this,” you pointed out, tugging on your pants and the first shirt you grabbed. “Rocket’ll never let us hear the end of it, and Drax’ll be… Drax.”

“That’s a good look on you.” Peter said, his hands tucked behind his head. You looked down at yourself; you’d pulled on his shirt instead of your own. You flushed, but he caught hold of your wrist before you could pull it off again. “Leave it.”

You smiled down at him softly, tucking hair behind your ear. “Isn’t that just as obvious?”

Peter’s hand moved down to your hand, delicately interlacing his fingers with yours. “Would it be so bad?”

“You… you want the others to know about this?”

He pushed himself up onto his elbow, his free hand sliding against the side of your neck and giving you an affectionate smile before pulling you down for a soft, lingering kiss.

tags: @peterquillthecutest @lovely-dreamer19 @wittyforachange @wefracturedmotivation @january-echoes @glossyloner @capitalnineteen @youclickedthislink @s0ftness @bombardia

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