#pleAse the malewife it gives I love them

[mazojo]

They’re so domestic

[mr-stottlemonk]

the whole plot of mr. monk makes the playoffs (s07e13) is that stottlemeyer wants them to go on a nice date without interruptions.

😔✊️

[bonebabbles]

Clear sky's "redemption" in the second half of DOTC reminds of the Lysandreroth skit by ProZD, "Everyone forgives the villain.

UHUM ACKSHUALLY it's Vegetello /lighthearted

I love this video but it totally fits Clear Sky more than Breezepelt lmao, Breezie-P didn't even get a kill in-canon.

[runa-falls]

*raise hand violently* PLEASE CAN I ASK ABOUT sub!miguel headcanons?!?!?!?!?!

What makes him whine, how pretty does his whimpers sound like?!?!?!

How gorgeous does he look when his eyes get all shiny and wet with tears because you won't let him come yet.

sub!miguel headcanons

basic summary: miguel is the whiniest, most pushy malewife and you are his protector, comforter, and safe space :3

a/n: OK BETTER LATE THAN NEVER RIGHT? (im so sorry lmfaooo) also does it count as headcanons if i have random scenes in between them?? wtvr *shoves fic in ur arms and sprints away*

content: suggestive + fluffy

masterlist

---

bed habits (I'M TALKING AB SLEEPING YOU DIRTY BASTARD!) -- miguel is a sleepy, cuddly boy

he never has trouble falling asleep when you're around (except for when he - adorably - forces himself to stay awake so he can spend time with you)

this man is 6'7" but he still tries to curl up on your lap when you're lounging on the couch just so you can play with his hair as he dozes off

miguel owns a king sized bed, big enough to fit five people comfortably, yet he's adamant to take up all your space

it gets hot (i mean, he's hot -- literally, like his internal temp is higher than the average human) but even when you try to shove him away, he only pulls you closer to him

if you do, somehow, get away from him, he wakes up immediately with a sleepy groan, blindly reaching across the mattress for you:

you try to dodge his hands, laying precariously at the edge of the bed, hoping he would give up and go back to sleep. unfortunately, it only makes him whine like a spoiled child, "baby, closer. need you...come here" god -- he has such a cute sleepy voice...

but you don't let it sway you. you're already laying on top of the comforter, desperately trying to cool off and get back to sleep.

"it's too hot, miguel"

"but...i can't sleep without you" you can hear the pout in his voice

"just hold a pillow and pretend its me"

he sighs -- actually sighs like the dramatic man he is, "but it's not the same!"

you don't respond, refusing to continue this 3 am argument that you'll never win, and pretend to fall back asleep. maybe he will practice self-soothing or something and sleep by himself? maybe he'll be an adult about this?

silence settles in the air for a few minutes and you're nearly lulled back to unconsciousness. and then you hear the sheets rustle as he sits up next to you, suddenly fully awake and stubbornly staring down at you.

"please?"

"mig, no amount of 'pleases' will convince me to sleep against your volcanic body"

"...how about just until I fall asleep?"

"but when I move away you'll wake up again."

you hear a quiet 'hmph' before you're promptly tugged back against his body. his face presses against your hair as he situates himself to engulf you in his warmth. "exactly, so don't leave me."

it's a common misconception that sub!mig likes to be the little spoon but actually he likes to cling onto you like you're a living teddy bear -- face nuzzled against your neck, legs intertwined with yours, and one large hand on your tit

you often wake up in a tangled mess, your neck stiff from the contorted positions he maneuvers your body into during the night

but you don't mind it anymore, especially on those rare morning swhen you wake up before him and you get to see those worry lines on his forehead soften as he sleeps soundly next to you

miguel is a soft and eager man:

it's his life mission to provide for you, to hear soft words of praise whisper from your lips

as soon as you're alone in a room, he drops the tough guy act and immediately searches for your warmth

miguel sticks to you like velcro when he isn't fighting crime in the city

and when he isn't with you, he's absolutely thinking about you

(of course he makes sure that you're thinking about him too with all the texts he sends you throughout the day -- adorned with cheesy emojis...)

this dude is so needy and desperate for your love, praise and approval that he's the one asking "would you still love me if i were a spider-mutant worm and i looked at you like this: 🐛 to say 'i love you'?"

would he call you 'mami'? debatable.

but he loves it when you call him honey, sweetheart, baby, bubby/bubs, hubby (he wants to marry you so bad), and puppy (WHEN HE'S KINKY BC HE'S A HORNY SOB)

you swear he whimpers a little when you tell him what a good man he is -- when you confess that he's your hero, even when he's not swinging around the city and lifting up buildings with his bare hands

his warm brown eyes search your face, a desperate quest for truth in every gentle word you speak. he's never been spoken to so softly in his life -- this tenderness, it's new...too good to be true

as time passes and your love deepens, he begins to realize that it's all true, that everthing about you is genuine, that he is loveable after all

miguel worships you:

he is definitely a worshipper when you let him be

on slower, more sensual nights, he makes sure to paint your body in kisses, from your ankles to your forehead it's almost tortuous

(maybe even bites if it's been a while since he's seen you)

he likes to kneel for you, make himself smaller so he can look up at you and appreciate everything you've provided for him

he's really whiny and pathetic though...

he wants to be told what to do, when to do it, and how. it helps him let go of this thoughts, anything that's weighing on him

it could be his heightened senses or just his desperation, but he needs to touch you all the time -- even just the light feeling of his hand against your thigh gives him a euphoric feeling.

so you deny him because you know how much he loves the delayed gratification and humiliation when you tease him for it.

"baby, you're acting so needy right now~" you decided to withdraw from the heated interaction to keep him at the edge. his eyes are dark, blazing with heat, as you speak to him with a syrupy sweet voice.

he pouts from the spot where he's kneeling for you, already achingly hard from the thorough petting session you just gave him.

"i'm not trying to be...just really need it." he's whining with a mixture of shame, frustration, and exasperation in his voice.

"It?" you tilt your head, a small smile gracing your lips.

"..." he doesn't elaborate. you can see a hint of pinkness creep up his neck as his eyes avoid yours.

he can get so shy sometimes. it's endearing. it makes you want to destroy him then put him back together again.

"honey, i can't give you what you need unless you tell me." you know what he wants, but you want to hear him say it.

"please"

[multifandomgirl08]

Mini Verstappen Series Masterlist

Paring: Single Dad!Max Verstappen x Fem!Reader

At the end of 2020, Max Verstappen gets the surprise of his life when he finds out that his ex-girlfriend had given birth to a son, his son. A year and a half later Max's longtime girlfriend of 8 months finds out about his son Nico.

This is an ongoing series. I'm always adding to it. The masterlist changes often.

I do take requests for this. If there is anything that you want to see happen in this series just message me in my ask box. All of my normal request rules apply.

Reader Face Claim: Hande Erçel

Total Published Word Count: 63,217 Words

Disclaimer: This work below is fictionalized ideas and stories involving real people but does not directly reflect their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Please keep in mind that this is a work of fiction, so enjoy it as such.

𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑂𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟

0.0. Prologue - [December 2020]

Max finds out that he has a son. And it changes his world.

0.1. Be Something You'll Love and Understand [December 2020] Outtakes

He knew that he should have called his mom yesterday but he was still wrapping his head around the idea of being a father.

0.5. The Moment You Smiled At Me - [November 2021]

The evening that started it all for Max and Reader.

1. Mini Verstappen - [July 2022]

You get a small surprise the first time you visit Max’s apartment.

1.5. Girlfriend? - [October 2022] Request

You meet Nico.

1.8. Caught - [June 4, 2023] 18+ Outtakes

Lando swears he knocked before walking into Max's hotel room, maybe he should have yelled before opening the door.

2. Change - [November 26, 2023 + January 2, 2024]

It’s the end of the F1 season. Some things are changing for the Verstappen's.

SMAU #1. The Secrets Out - [December 31, 2023 - January 1, 2024]

It’s the start of a new year. You and Max decide to tell the world about Nico.

3. A Lioness Protects Her Cub - [May 5 - 9, 16, 23, 2024] Request

Reporters are vultures and Max picks out a ring.

4. Day At The Karting Track - [June 15, 2024]

Nico starts karting. It opens a small can of worms.

4.5 The Engagement - [August 15 - 16, 2024]

He moved his hand over yours, moving the engagement ring that he placed on your finger, side to side.

SMAU #2. Through Max's Eyes - [March 8, July 30 - August 15, 2024]

Max’s Instagram posts about Y/N, and a small life update from the couple.

5. Something Bad, Something Good - [August 17 - 19, 2024] Request

Reader deals with the haters on Twitter, Nico calls Reader Mama. Max claps back at the haters on Instagram like the malewife that he strives to be.

5.5 Time to Move? - [August 25, September 15, 2024]

When Max had brought up moving, it was because the lease on his apartment was going to be up at the end of the year. Maybe it was time to find a new place for all of you.

6. Race Day - [October 20, 2024] Request

Nico tags along with Max during a race day in Monza, well as much as he can.

6.1 Wedding Headcanon - [February 2, 2025]

Headcanons from Max and the Reader's wedding. Social Media posts from their honeymoon.

6.5. Give and Take (Kind of Love We Make) - [February 28, 2025] 18+ Request (The Morning After)

Max had a plan in his head for the evening. He had mapped out the track before, and intended to keep to his strategy until they got home.

6.7. To Constantly Be Away - [March 10, 2025]

Second race of the season and Max is already having a tough time with the car. Missing his family only makes it worse.

7. From Three to Four - [April 4, 2025]

Reader tells Max that your expecting, he doesn't have the best reaction at first.

8. Stones To Throw At My Creator - [July 2025]

He wasn't his father. He would never raise Nico like that.

SMAU #3. The Verstappens - [January 8, February 2, May 26, December 3, 2025]

Big things happen to Max and the reader in 2025. Moving, getting married, and a little surprise that neither of them were expecting.

8.7 Give Me Eyes To See - [December 7, 2025]

Nikita's first few days at home. Flashbacks to moments from the reader's pregnancy.

8.8 Nikita's First Christmas - [December 24-25, 2025]

Nico's first Christmas with his baby brother.

8.9 Ghost of Bittersweet Memories - [January 25, 2026]

A few of the drivers visit you and Max for the day, and you end up talking with Charles about a woman that he meets at an FIA event. (This is the conversation I referenced in Part 2 of Bittersweet.)

9. Glass Houses - [February 17, 22, 23, 2026]

When Raymond had called you about going and getting lunch, you should have known that something was going on.

9.5. All That I Can Give - [May 10, 2026]

Another Mother's Day and one of Nikita's firsts.

9.7. On Sleepless Roads, The Sleepless Go - [December 2-3, 2026]

It's the early hours of Nikita's first birthday, and you can't help but look back at the day you brought your son into the world.

SMAU #4. A Year in Moments - [February 10, May 28, August 2 & 27, October 21 & 31, 2026]

10. Redline - [May 25, 2027]

"I'm sorry, mijn leeuwin. I know you were excited to announce it to everyone."

10.5. Mommy and Me - [May 31 - June 6, 2027] Request

Late one evening after dinner Y/N brought up the idea to Max for her to take Nico out for the day.

11. X3 - [July 8-9, 2027]

“Hallo, kleine welp,” Max said.

11.5. She's Not Acid Nor Alkaline - [December 2027]

Max and Reader have a night away from the kids in Santorini for the 2027 FIA Prize Giving Gala.

SMAU #5. Welcoming Another Verstappen - [2027]

12. Hey, Little Sister - [March 27 - November 20, 2028]

SMAU #6. - [2028]

13. The End of An Era - [November 2030]

The days leading up to Max retiring from Formula 1. The Article announcing his retirement. And the last race of his F1 career.

14. Right On Track - [2036]

Checking in with the Verstsppens in 2036.

15. Letters From The Past - [November 17, 2038]

Max and Reader sit down to read the letters that Amelia (Nico's birth mom) wrote.

𝐸 𝒳 𝒯 𝑅 𝒜 𝒮

Pinterest Board

Playlist

Paring Evolution

Timeline

Dividers made by @cafekitsune | Banner made by me

Mini Verstappen taglist: @karmabyfernando, @barcagirly, @sachaa-ff, @iamahallucinationnn, @musingsbyshreya, @glow-ish, @nonsensical-nonsence, @fanboyluvr, @champomiel, @gothicwidowsworld, @lighttsoutlewis, @itsalwaysgay, @minkyungseokie, @mynameisangeloflife, @ursforever129, @aundercover, @bborra, @mindless-rock, @cixrosie, @barcelonaloverf1life, @taylorslovesswifties13, @konsti081, @mellowarcadefun, @smnthnclj, @brekkers-whore, @lpab, @thedecalcomania-blog, @xoscar03, @em-gvf01, @haikyuen, @shelbyteller , @geniusalpaca, @princessria127 , @mysticalnightenthusiast , @green-thots , @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp

[azulaaaaaaah]

rating every zuko ship (cause that mf is shipped with everyone)

CLICKBAIT!!! this isn’t every zuko ship just the main ones i immediately lied lol. idk if any of these are hot takes or not but please don’t crucify me (might do a part 2 where it’s azula ships)

Jinko - Zuko/Jin

6/10

awwww it’s cute (for what it is)

and what it is was one singular date that was never really mentioned again

i really appreciate how jin is so unperturbed by zuko’s awkward angst and just genuinely likes him

howevvver she’s kinda one dimensional (as she’s only in like an episode) and i just don’t see this going anywhere longterm

less a ship, more a vehicle for zuko’s character development lol

Jetko- Zuko/Jet

3/10

jet being zuko’s first gay encounter is canon in my eyes

don’t ship them however cause i hate jet with the fire of a thousands suns

similar issues to jin as well where their interactions are extremely limited so personally have no clue how this could be a long term thing

Maiko- Zuko/Mai

5/10

i am so impartial on this ship it’s not even funny.

i get that it’s canon. i get that izumi looks suspiciously like mai so it’s endgame. i just don’t see HOW?? it feels as if the writers realised zutara was becoming popular and were like ‘OH SHIT WE GOTTA DEFUSE THIS SITUATION SOMEHOW’

their relationship is basically just mai being a cold asshole and zuko being an angry asshole and there’s no change or development between EITHER OF THEM

however when they’re cute they’re cute !!!!

‘i love zuko more than i fear you’ COLDEST LINE EVER

however again it’s like - you had a crush on him as a kid. he was BANISHED. you dated for like a month as teens. you argued the whole time. he left again- and shortly after you saved him from prison, but then you were imprisoned partly due to his actions. you get back together again, he becomes the ruler of a country, and then you’re surprised it’s isolating him/making him even more of an asshole???

on the other hand we as a society need to admit that zuko is weirdly possessive of her (ig that’s a positive if ur a booktok romance girlie but im not). like if i was mai i wouldn’t put up with that toxic shit either

at the end of the day, i honestly don’t care that they’re canon lol- but i think they’d probably best as a bitchy best friend duo

Zukaang - Zuko/Aang

1/10

not round here partner. not round here

my first issue is the age gap is objectively extremely weird if examined in canon. leaving it at that

i get that this is grumpy x sunshine in a way the other ships aren’t to me- but we’ve only ever seen these two characters interact with each other when there’s (again) A WEIRD AGE GAP

they are bros in the least homosexual way possible

the cherry on top of this situation is: isn’t aang the reincarnation of his great grandpa? isn’t that giving slight, uh, inc*st vibes??? imagine if people shipped korra and jinora isn’t that just WEIRD???

Zuki - Zuko/Suki

8/10

is this my most controversial take ???

i am a sucker for bodyguard x royal family dynamics guys

and the fact that this is girlboss x malewife is even BETTER

suki seems the most competent at handling his pissy ass in a way the other people on this list aren’t

like she’s real. she’s not sugarcoating his situation, BUT SHES COMPASSIONATE !!

i don’t like throuples typically but suzukki is even eliter than this, which removes the whole ‘going against the bro code’ element that arises from them being together

also i feel like if you haven’t read the comics this doesnt make sense At All so please do

-2 points for the lack of tangible reason to ship them lol

Zutara - Zuko/Katara

7.5/10

okay this one makes the most logistical sense to me within canon (solely examined as a zuko ship not overall)

it really seems as if they were gonna make this canon and swerved circa book 2

LIKE CMONNNN OG ENEMIES TO LOVERS WHERE THE GUY ACTUALLY HAS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND ISN’T JUST EVIL? FIRE X WATER? ITS INTRIGUING

something about this makes me uncomfortable though. (despite the age gap which again a little weird)

something about katara potentially becoming the fire lady is so… icky. she’s a waterbender. the fire nation tried to systematically erase her kind. her mother is killed by the fire nation because they think she’s a waterbender. and katara…. what, becomes part of the royal family? it just seems wrong, and like something she wouldn’t be into

also i feel like their arguments would be a little too NUCLEAR. there’s like, a 50% chance of divorce

she deserves a better ending than that is all i’m saying

to paraphrase the hunger games: katara has plenty of fire herself. SHE NEEDS THAT DANDELION IN THE SPRING MAN

(i’m a kataang truther)

Zukka - Zuko/Sokka

9/10

my zuko related otp!!!

bros to lovers guys, where zuko falls first but sokka falls HARDER !!!

ik this will never be canon and im happy with that. i know there’s not even a whisper of romance between them in the show, but i just think it’s c u t e .

sokka (like suki) is very likely to call zuko out on his shit, but less likely to lose his own shit (like katara)

this in my heart of hearts is 10/10 however is still problematic in a similar way to zutara

his mother is killed by the fire nation and he (presumably) becomes consort ?

however though, i would still say it’s not as ruhroh as zutara bc firstly, sokka isn’t a waterbender, and secondly, ‘consort’ is a lot more open to interpretation than i think fire lady is. in my opinion a consort ≠ a fire lady, just like irl a consort ≠ a queen. it kinda means he can still be ambassador to the southern water tribe/a leader of his own people, while just so happening to be married to the fire lord.

overall i can’t help but stan a friends to lover ship cmOn now

[heartfullofleeches]

Maybe a better idea..... Farmer Flemish giant rabbit Yan catches Foxboy reader, but gives reader the choice that if he becomes the yans malewife he can live.

(That was the plan to some extent in the long run, but the chase is fun, no? Regardless, here's a blurb of the two lovebirds)

Male Flemish Rabbit Yan + Foxboy Reader

Warnings: Imprisonment, kidnapping. Reader's pronouns are not mentioned, but they are thought of as male. The term Wife is used.

-

That bastard....

"Let me out! Let. Me. Out!"

Rearing your legs as far back as the tight space would grant, your knees bump into your chest as you kick out. Metal grates dig at your arms with every slight turn and jostle of your body. Dirt and moulted feathers mat your fur, yet there isn't any poultry in sight for you to feast and console yourself upon.

Damn it... You knew it was too good to be true. That farmer was a fool, but a watchful and cautious one at that. He'd never leave the door to his pens open unless he was sick or injured. Maybe part of you had prayed that he was. Wrong as it may be to wish ill on someone making a living for himself, you were just trying to survive too.

"Let me out.... please.." Your voice wavers as the pains of hunger and stress exhaust what little strength you have left. Your balled fists slap pathetically against the metal cages as tears well in your eyes, daring to spill. You won't let them. You won't let him win.

"I said...GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

The gravel outside your wooden prison shifts.

"In due time, Love. We've got a deal to make first."

Dread consumes the emptiness in your stomach, pinning your limbs to the dirt covered floor as he at sinks to his knees. Your knees curl into your chest once more, body and mind subconsciously making yourself smaller as his larger figure draws into view - blocking your sight of the forest beyond his land. Your home. You don't even realize your crying till his fingers brush the wetness from your cheek. You have half a mind to bite them off as they get stuck between the grates.

You snarl- "If you wanted me gone you could've asked..."

The farmer presses a strong hand to his mouth, suppressing a laugh. "If I wanted ya gone, I would'a taken the sheriff's generous offer of a shotgun the last time I had him over. You know how he is about outsiders."

The bite in your stare remains - still, your legs quiver at the mention. "You aren't going to turn me over to him, are you?

He can't. The farmer is lenient towards your crimes, but that man.. That rabbit... He'll have you hanging from the town hall by nightfall.

"Please... I'll...I'll do anything...I'll work off my debt day and night, I-"

"Sweetheart...." The farmer rest a hand on the steel wall of the coop, gently petting its bars as he would your fuzzy little head once you agreed to be his. "It's okay. Nobody's gonna hurt you or make you do any hard labor."

"Then-" Your cracked tongue wets your splitting lips. "What do you want from me?"

The farmer cranes his head, meeting you eye to eye. The bags beneath his eyes seemed heavier than usual. How long had been out here waiting for you to return?"

"Cute little fox like yourself shouldn't be out here scrounging around for scraps or the occasional unattended hen. You should have a roof over your head, a comfy bed, all the food you could ever want."

What's he going on about? Another trap?... "If I'm not going to work for it... How does this deal benefit you?"

"I want you to be my wife."

"Wha?!- Ouch!-" Your head shoots up, ramming into the low hanging support beams. "Are you crazy?"

The farmer lets a chuckle slip. "Heh, I'd have to have lost my mind not falling for ya. Think about it this way, Sweetheart. You come home with me and I fill that belly of yours full of food. Or I call up the sheriff and he fills it with lead. Your choice."

Your howling stomach betrays any fight you have remaining. You don't have many options in this scenario. Push come to shove, you could possibly make your escape in the dead of night when he least expects it - taking as many of his hens as your arms could carry.

"Okay... I'll.. be your wife."

"Smart fox." The farmer stands - rounding the corner to the front of the henhouse. He lifts the wooden board that had fallen into place as you crawling inside hours ago. Your legs are too cramped and spent from all that kicking to fight him as he pulls you out by your tail and into his well built arms. The farmer presses his nose to your face, nuzzling your cheek as he walks off towards his home - carrying you bridal style.

"Welcome home, Hun."

[yestrday]

bro like

imagine if reader and housewife scara had a kid that looks practically exactly like one of them and yet got the personality of the other parent 💀💀💀

🍡 anon back at it again

ghiwefi i can imagine the domestic shenanigans here istg kuni's reactions would be fucking hilarious. also you get called papa once because i couldnt think of any gn parental terms

you might like: yandere! genshin malewife au ft. scara

"oh my gosh say that one more time for the camera, sweetie."

your eight-year-old flips you off from his seat, glaring at you over a bowl of cereal. his [hair color] is messy from tossing and turning in his sleep and his pouty lips are in the most bitter scowl you have ever seen adorning them. you squeal as you capture your vulgar child on camera and begin fawning over it on camera, whilst kuni karate chops him on the head.

"ow! whaddya do that for?!" he complains, covering his bump with his tiny two hands as kuni locks him with an equally deadly glare.

"you brat, you better treat your parent with more respect!" he scolds. he looks threatening, despite holding a pan with the most delicious looking waffles while donning a frilly lavender apron. "if i see you flipping someone off one more fucking time, you're losing tv privileges!"

"why not?!" the child yells indignantly as he shakes his tiny fists at his father. "you do that to them all the time?!"

"just because i do it doesn't mean you can!"

"then you're not a very good parent, are you?!"

kuni pops a vein, and he feels the most vile sentence forming on the tip of his tongue before he bites it down and sighs. "for that, i'm still cutting down your tv time by one hour." he cries out in outrage, but he ignores him and slides the waffles onto a plate. "go play outside or something.... honestly, you look like this idiot over here—" he shoots a sharp glare at you, still fawning over the picture. "— but you're too goddamn rude to be anything like him."

"maybe it's because i get it from you!" the kid says, mouth full with waffles. kuni glances at him and scoffs, lightly hitting him again on the head.

"... make that two hours."

"never say that kind of sappy shit with my face ever again."

"but dad~" your daughter whines, tugging on kuni's kimono sleeve. "i love him! can't i just buy him one box of chocolates? please?"

kuni wrinkles his nose at the notion of a mere ten-year-old falling in love, and even more so when his literal carbon copy is pulling a lovesick expression with his face. she has the sharp eyes and all, yet they look so... girlish? dreamy, when on her. something about it grates on his nerves.

"how could you possibly like a guy like him?" he scoffs, scanning the aisle for a specific brand of flour. "you said he hated you. he throws your notebooks, mocks and humiliates you, and is basically anything but a decent human being. if it weren't for [y. name], i would've gone over to that school and ripped him and whatever vile parent he has into shreds."

"but! but!" she whines. "papa says you were exactly like that before!" kuni freezes. "then he could be the one for me!"

kuni snorts and grabs a bag of flour before dropping it into the cart. "your papa was and still is an idiot. but still," a fond smile graces his lips for a second. "we're the exception. doesn't mean it can turn out well for you."

"is that a no, then?" she pouts.

kuni is silent, and she perks up and pulls him down to give him a peck on the cheek. "thanks, dad!"

"whatever," he grumbles as she runs off to the chocolate aisle, holding the kissed cheek with an embarassed blush on his face.

[whiskehorange]

Could you please write for platonic reader wanting to learn crafts/abilities from Morticia & Gomes, and as many characters from the hellboy movies as you possibly can please? (Sorry I just love them all)

Morticia

I have a strange feeling Morticia makes her own perfumes in her spare time. With all the pruning and gardening she does, I can only imagine the kind of... "witchy" concoctions she's able to make up

She'd gladly take you under her wing and not only show you and let you wear her own, but would take this as a sort of arts and crafts approach. She gets it, her scents might not be the best fitting for you, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have what you might be looking for!

Morticia was absolutely over the moon when you came to her with your very own fragrance the first time. You had spent weeks watching and planning out some with her and finally had the time to make one with your very own fitting profile of scents. She couldn't get enough of the smell at first and even showed them to Gomez

Although, this is another very slippery slope that leads to her delving into gardening with you, if you're in that. But, let's be honest, we're down to do anything if it includes some one on one bonding with Morticia

Gomez

Gomez couldn't be more ecstatic to hear you have an interest in his hobbies. It's different for you to watch him or ask him questions about it but actually wanting to take the time out of your day to spend it with him? Your the best-est friend he could ever ask for

His hobbies are either malewife activates or medieval dueling, and there is absolutely no in between But it really surprised him when you want to take up fencing.

It's something you've watching him do in his spare time, but you never noticed how much strength and control it took, but he was as patient as ever and was always there to correct your moves or give you tips on how to better your posture and stance

Each time you'd pull something new out of your sleeve from what he's told you he's as proud as ever, staring at you with wide eyes and an equally wide grin. You're learning, and even it it might take a while, he's just happy that you're taking it seriously

Hellboy

Genuinely, what does he even do in his free time besides lay in bed, smoke, and do crossword puzzles? When you first asked him about what his hobbies are he really couldn't even answer you, he just stood there in his room and looked around cluelessly

I think, your best case in this scenario, is to just watch him for a while, you'll notice the things he does in his free time that he never thought about or classified as a "hobby"

You notice though, occasionally, that he divulges into whittling. Typically after a slow day he'll just kick back and mindlessly carve away until he makes something remotely into a familiar shape. It's not perfect, by all means, but it's something. When you ask him about it he says it's nothing but you insist

From here, he teaching you it like it's common sense. Correcting you how to hold the knife, how to hold the wood, resorting to just taking it out of your hands and showing you how to do it in the very beginning. Eventually, it becomes to casual to the two of you that even he's begun doing it more often and the two of you bring new pieces you're either working on or have finished for each other to playfully critique

Abe

Annnnd on the other hand, there's too much that Abe does that it's really hard for him to say when you come to him, curious to do something new out of boredom. It takes him a while to think before he just spews out anything and everything he can think of that he's ever done

One of the biggest things though, I think he finds the easiest to ease you into would be scrapbooking. You can't tell me he doesn't entire stickers and little postcards and massive, thick journals just creatively dyed and crafted to a certain theme

But, it's easier than reading dead languages for fun, alright?

It's something he see's a fun and would love to have someone else he can share them with from time to time when he feels particularly crafty. He's ready to supply you with anything you could ever need - he's got plenty of spares

Bound journals, fountain pens, cards, and ink. Anything you could think of that you'd want to get crafty with, Abe's likely got it. Especially when it comes to ink and pens. And calligraphy? Abe teaches you that before anything else and gives out practice sheets like homework. So be ready to bring them back the next day for a stamp of approval

Johann

There wasn't much that Johann had time for if it wasn't work, but he always appreciated a friendly visit from you in stressful times. Of course, when you first ask him about what it is that he really just does in his personal times, only one thing could come to his mind: his Bonsai's

Now... Johann is a bit more restrictive in what he's willing to teach you - at least for the more hands on things, that is. He has only a couple himself, ones that he takes precious time out of his day and schedule to trim and prune to his liking and he does it very meticulously

He grows delighted whenever you step in to see him now, taking it a slight break in his studies and research to lull you over to his small collection and teach about their varieties and their history

When you show your genuine interest for them he's over the moon, but very stern with you. No, you cannot have one of his and no you cannot prune his, absolutely not. Get your own!

But, he's all ears for the questions you may have and will answer them quickly and correctly. When you get your own, however, he's definitely going to have a lot to say. Harsh worded critiques, but he means the best (for the plant, at least). You might be one of his only regular friends, but that doesn't mean he's going to sit by and watch such a beautiful plant die!

Liz

Liz can be a bit standoffish when it comes down to you wanting to really be a part of her needed alone time, but what she really needs is that person to share it with from time to time. Even she recognizes that it's not ideal to spend ALL of her time alone.

Annnnnd as on the nose as it may seem, the only thing that comes to mind for her to teach you would to be woodburning. OKAY LISTEN listen, I can see it as a small, therapeutic way for her to really get out some of her pent up energy and stress in a more controlled way

Although, the first time you sit down with her to start she realizes... well maybe it's easier for her to just do it from her fingertips than you. She shrugs it off and apologizes for not being able to really teach you anything, but deep down she was a bit sad there was nothing you could do

But the smile that slowly spread across her face the next day you showed up to her room with a woodburning kit in your hands was worth more than anything in the world. There was certainly a learning curve for her as well to see how your tools worked

It's not too hard for her to give you tips, however. It's a few more buttons and control than really only having using your thoughts and a single finger, but almost all of her tips and tricks apply!

Nuada

You're not catching a break. That's all I'm going to say. No matter what it is you wanna learn from him you are not catching a break. it's like you're back to taking 15 highschool AP classes at the same time and each gives you 7+ pieces of homework a night

You always knew one of the more passionate things he was interested in was weapon smithing and craftsmanship. Whenever you had taken notice to the fine detailing of his knives and swords, he was eager to boast about how many of them were made by yours truly

It was when you kept admiring his work when he had a small inkling that you might be interested in learning yourself, and boy was that all he needed to get you straight to work. It's easy for the first few sessions you guys have, just learning the basics of different materials and how best to using them, but it doesn't take long for him to throw you straight into some manual labor

You're bent over a anvil and sweating your ass over making the most rinky dink ass knife you've ever seen that likely won't cut a piece of bread. But you better hope it cuts something or else he's going to make you come back and try again. You work a 9 to 5 now

Nuala

God, what can't she do? She's just perfect, chefs kiss

But something that she can't get enough of is learning herself, so seeing you before her asking if she could tech you something she's got up her sleeve leaves her speechless - in a good way, of course! The two of you usually spent your time together kind of quietly, with your nose buried in books from all over the world and ages, but what you could never grasp was how Nuala could read most of them

You wanted her to teach you more languages than your own and she couldn't be more excited to teach you. Unlike her brother, she's much more mellowed out when it comes to helping you learn some more of the common languages in their elven cities and doesn't get onto you too hard if you struggle at first, she gets it

This is something she didn't realize she was passionate about - her ability to communicate with just about anyone, and she was more than happy to be your teacher. However, she can't help but laugh when you don't quite catch onto the more dead languages she tries to teach you about, but she'll just smile and save those for later

[yuri-is-online]

Ranted about this elsewhere already buuuuut . . . Hot take: OB Jamil keeping the reader as a pet/slave is pre-relationship.

Jamil's whole shtick is wanting to free himself from servanthood and getting the equality, freedom, and respect he deserves. Why would he not want that for his lover? Hell one of his biggest insecurities is trapping them with him under the Asims and being unable to give them the life they deserve.

A Jamil who's in a relationship where he 10000% smitten, comfortable, and genuinely open with s/o would rip his own heart out before even thinking of trapping them or seeing them as lesser. This goes double for his overblot (we've seen with the Shround's that it is possible for overblots to do things out of love).

So what doth thou thinketh of this scenario: OB!Jamil who's just finished sending the gang to the middle of the desert having the immediate thought "FUCK YEAH! Now I can finally spoil my beloved!"

OB!Jamil just throwing embarrassment out the window and spoiling the absolute shit out of his lover. I'm talking shameless PDA, no filter whatsoever about how much he loves them, giving them just about anything they could want. Feeling hungry? Here's a feast of your favorite dishes and Jamil is the one feeding you. Little chilly? You're now dressed in enchanted fine silk fit for a queen and cuddled up next him. Worried about your friends out in the desert? Now you get an adorable pouty overblot asking for your attention and making it really hard to say no. Ironically any manipulation he pulls will be the light hearted kind he usual do to get their attention. Also worth mentioning that Jamil is calling them every pet name under the sun while being kissed constantly by the snakes.

Just Overblot Jamil willingly and happily going full malewife mode for his Sultana.

God it will be hard to convince him that overblotting it bad, won't it?

You know I usually have a hard time wrapping my head around Yuu being in a relationship with any of the ob boys pre blot, but the events make it pretty clear that the actual order the blots happen in is pretty flexible σ(￣、￣=) so after squaring that in my head:

Pre-Relationship OB Jamil would want to keep Yuu in a cage because he subconsciously knows they aren't his but he still feels the desire to keep them close. The walls of the cage area physical manifestation of Jamil's emotional repression surrounding his feelings towards Yuu but that's not we're brainrotting about today~

Overblot! Jamil (and just Jamil in general really) is pretty hard to convince that overblotting was a bad idea. Granted he doesn't want to die so yes he'll agree that's bad once he comes to his senses but for now he's really pleased with himself. Finally, he gets to have your attention all to himself and there is no one to judge or interrupt him. He made sure to throw the biggest annoyances across the desert, you can stay right here with him in his embrace exactly where you belong. Being kissed by the snakes is such a cute concept TᴖT He has so many things he's wanted to say, so many many kisses he wanted to give, times he's wanted to touch and hold you that he was never able to do because of his place in the world. I like the idea of Overblot Jamil dancing with Yuu while he sings the sappiest love songs imaginable. Anything to make up for lost time, now that he's free there's so much he can finally give you.

That's what you've wanted this whole time too... right?

[pharawee]

It's been a week already, so here I am with the third part of my Pit Babe novel commentary.

(You can find the first two parts here and here.)

First things first, though. North is an omega. Do with that information what you will. 🤡

Meanwhile, Charlie and Babe are back at it again (because of course they are) and this time they're not taking any prisoners. Poor Way is on the phone with Babe as Charlie does his best to please~ him. In various ways. Way is very confused. All he wants is for Babe to tell him which car he wants him to buy. You know, if this is Way's villain origin story then I'm not even mad.

Charlie mercifully ends the call before things can get a bit too obvious, only for Babe to pick up the phone again to make an x-rated recording of them going at it like bunnies. Keep this in mind for later.

But anyway. It's finally time for Charlie's initiation into Team X-Hunter - that is, if he manages to pass Alan's test: compete against Pit Babe himself. As if Charlie wasn't nervous enough about it already. Naturally, he loses, and he's really upset about it too - not because he failed the test but because he failed his friends. Aw. But no one really expected him to win against Babe anyway, Alan merely wanted to test his determination, and so he's welcomed as the newest member of the team. Competitive racing really is that easy, I guess.

One almost-love confession later (Babe can't quite bring himself to say it but he doesn't need to. Charlie knows.) they're back to actually teaching Charlie how to race. Since Babe is still healing from his injuries, he can only (very stylishly) watch from the sidelines as the other members of X-Hunter take over as Charlie's teachers. Today it's North's turn and remember? He's the only omega on the team. Naturally, Babe is jealous. They (dirty-)talk it out. Charlie can now smell Babe's emotions, while Babe has all but lost his heightened senses. Hm.

Later, in the locker room while Charlie is busy racing, Babe comes across Way. Or is it the other way around? It seems like Way really wants to talk to him - or rather, talk him out of being with Charlie. Something's really fishy about the way he phrases things. Manipulate, mansplain, malewife. Or something. But the thing is? For some strange reason it's working, even on someone as headstrong and stubborn as Babe (and the only reason why Babe isn't immediately giving in to Way's weirdly cruel love confession is because his heart is full of Charlie). All these moments when Way and he seemed so flirty and close? Suddenly they've become very, very creepy. Hmm.

Anyway. It's time for Charlie to pay another visit to his mysterious clients and/or family. He never really says (but we now know better). But, oh no! He's left his wallet! Luckily, he's got the world's best not-quite-boyfriend to try and catch up with him before it's too late.

And here's where things go very, very wrong.

(I'm putting the rest of this post under a cut because of major spoilers and a content warning for SA and grooming. Please take care.💜)

Because that's not a taxi Babe sees Charlie getting into. It's one of his "father's" limousines, along with some of his men. Preparing for the worst, Babe follows.

Meanwhile, Charlie is meeting up with his adopted father. Their coversation goes about as expected, with Charlie refusing to return home and bring Babe with him while he's at it, because they've indeed been adopted by the same man. Charming.

This is the moment when Babe barges into the room, thinking that he's here to save Charlie before very quickly realising the truth: that he's been manipulated and played and lied to.

I need you to realise how much of a nightmare this is for Babe. He's spent over a decade running from an adoptive father who wants to trap and abuse him, and now the only person he trusts (and loves, but we don't talk about that) has led him straight back into that trap.

So basically, Babe's sanity is slowly unravelling at the seams. He immediately takes off, with Charlie following him outside and into the rain (because of course it's raining - it's much more dramatic that way). When Charlie attempts to stop him and explain, Babe (understandably) lashes out. He punches Charlie's glasses right off his face, failing to understand why he's the one who's hurting when it's Charlie who should be feeling guilty.

Oh, and then there's this bit:

"I thought you liked racing…" Babe's voice was trembling and soft, completely different from before, "…I thought you loved me."

I barely survived reading this. I'm here for fun omegaverse shenanigans dammit!!

So, yeah, Babe returns home alone, and even though he doesn't want to, he forces himself to remember what happened with his adoptive father, because as it turns out Charlie's betrayal has the most horrifying of implications:

You see, Babe was adopted because he was an alpha with special abilities. But he wasn't the only one, there were other adopted alpha children with special abilities that Babe was never allowed to meet. Eventually, Babe learned about the existence of enigmas who stand above even alphas and are so strong (and thankfully rare) that they can turn any alpha they have sex with into omegas and impregnate them. Children from these unions have a 99% chance to be alphas with special abilities. See where this is going?

Let me spell it out for you - because clearly this isn't wtf-inducing enough: Babe is essentially the main ingredient in his adoptive father's breeding program.

But wait! It gets even worse! 🤡🤡

Babe, alone and at his lowest, deduces that Charlie must the enigma that was sent to lure him back.

And if that's true, then maybe he's already been changed from an alpha into an omega (because his heightened senses are gone, remember?). Maybe he's already pregnant.

And this is what sends Babe completely over the edge (same here, Babe, same here...) because he is positively traumatised by the thought of having children and fulfilling his adoptive father's sick wishes. He doesn't want children. The very thought makes him sick. He values his autonomy above all else. He never even has sex with omegas because he refuses to get anyone pregnant.

Only now he's about to get a pregnancy test because he was stupid enough to fall for a cute, innocent boy with glasses.

Enter Charlie who of course still knows the code to Babe's condo. Babe barricades himself in his bedroom while Charlie tells him his side of the story. How he was adopted by the same man, and how he was quite content with his life until he learned about his father's plan to get one of his other adoptive children pregnant - by force if necessary. Charlie felt sorry for this older adoptive brother but since he only knew his name - Babe - he bid his time until he heard about a racer named Pit Babe. Charlie started hanging out at the races and in turn fell in love with racing (and with Babe).

Fast forward to now, only of course Babe doesn't believe him because he must be the enigma, right?

Nope, turns out Charlie is an alpha after all, only his special ability is stealing other alphas' special abilities.

And his grand plan? To take away what makes Babe special so their adoptive father will no longer be interested in breeding (ugh...) him.

Which leaves us (and Babe) with one problem: Wtf Charlie, you don't just steal people's abilities without their consent - especially not when you claim to love them.

So yeah, their whole relationship is based on lies and manipulation, and Charlie essentially stole Babe's heightened senses by having sex with him.

Babe starts crying, Charlie starts crying, then they start having hatesex (which usually ends all their arguments). This fixes things for about five minutes until Babe starts sobbing for real. He wants Charlie to leave. He can't even stand to look at him.

And so Charlie leaves and moves in with his other adoptive brother, Jeff. We'd already established that Jeff is an omega. However, he's a special omega (because why else would he have been adopted too?).

Jeff can see the future. 🤡🤡🤡

He was incredibly valuable to their adoptive father until he probably realised what that meant for him, so one day Jeff took a stroll outside and let himself get hit by a car, claiming that this had him lose his abilities. Naturally, he was promptly discarded, but he seems to live a comfortable life protected by Charlie. He's exactly as aloof as Pon plays him in the series. I love Jeff, ok?

Meanwhile, Babe's back to his old habits, trying to chase away his thoughts of Charlie by getting it on with other alphas. Only it doesn't work. He blames their scent, of course, but he's clearly still hung up on Charlie. Drunk and miserable, he rediscovers the spicy video of Charlie and him that he recorded on his phone and promptly starts masturbating (as you do). When Charlie calls him, he picks up out of habit. Babe is angry (and horny) and Charlie is sad (and horny) so they have phone sex (and they're still really into calling each other papa and daddy - which, you know, there might be better pet names considering who's their adoptive father but ok).

Babe still doesn't want to see Charlie, and as Charlie later aptly puts it:

"Because I chose the starting point myself without asking him. So now I have to let him choose the ending he is most comfortable with."

Much, much later, the racing season picks back up again. Turns out the whole race track had to shut down for an investigation into Babe's accident. It's Charlie's first race and there's some kind of qualifying for future rounds. But, surprise! Babe will be racing too. He's too stubborn to let Charlie win the title. To the surprise of absolutely no one (except for Charlie who's worried about Babe's barely-healed injuries) Babe easily wins, with Charlie (who's overwhelmed by his new heightened senses) coming in fourth place. Plot twist (but really actually not...): Babe doesn't need to rely on his senses to win because he has years of experience to draw from.

After the race, Charlie follows Babe into the locker room. They talk it out. This somehow involves a blowjob but I'm not judging. Babe still won't forgive Charlie, saying:

"You think I love you more than I love myself?"

Which is an incredibly powerful thing to say and I hope they keep this for the series.

Later that night, Babe meets up with Way because he doesn't want to be alone. Things with him have been awkward since that day in the locker room when Way basically confessed, but for some reason Babe won't hold it against him. Way is right, after all (Hmmm.). Only, Way won't let things be and somehow, without Babe noticing, they're suddenly kissing.

And then Babe goes motionless and still as Way starts undressing him. He's stopped just in time by a very panicky Charlie. When Babe comes to he doesn't know what's going on until Charlie tells him.

Way is their adoptive brother and he can hypnotise alphas.

Because DUN DUN DUN! Way is the enigma.

To be continued. 🤡🤡🤡🤡

[fire-lizard-ro]

Could I request Jing Yuan slowly falling in love with a baker reader who manages to win his heart through the power of delicious baked treats?

Oml thank you so much anon I can finally write a request for my beloved malewife JY. <333

Reader gender: gender neutral

It starts out on a peaceful afternoon. I imagine that no matter how busy the Arbiter-General of the Luofu is, he likes to occasionally take breaks from the Seat of Divine Foresight to take a stroll or visit places on the ship to see how things are going. Despite his fame, I like to think that people have enough respect for their dear general that when he's out on these outings, they'll allow him his privacy.

On these walks, he likes to find something to eat if the timing is right. Seeing as it's just past lunch and he's yet to eat, Jing Yuan supposed it would be good to find somewhere to grab a bite while he was out.

It's then that Jing Yuan stumbles across your bakery. Initially he merely listed it as an option in the back of his mind, filing it away as a new bakery he'd have to try out later or maybe now if none of the other places suited his fancy that day. But then as he began to pass... The smell that wafted out from the door as a smiling customer left the building convinced him to go inside. He was pleased to find that while it did have Xianzhou specialties, it also had foods from beyond the fleet's norm.

Another thing that he was pleasantly surprised with was you, the owner of the bakery. Even with the unspoken rule of allowing the general his leisure time in peace, many would at least gawp at him for a bit before poorly hiding their awe and shock at seeing him in their shop. But you merely waved at him just as you did the customer who'd entered before him. The feeling of being treated just as a normal person was... Very nice. Jing Yuan's ever present smile widened a tad as he nodded to you before going back to perusing the options behind the glass of the counters.

He decided to get a wife cake (sweetheart cake) to enjoy on his way back to his office. The exchange between you two was easy and pleasant. You did your job and nothing more. Though- it was done with a smile and in such a way that he felt quite comfortable.

When he left, he glanced at you again. You were seeing other customers, not sparing him another glance.

Taking a bite of the wife cake, he found that it was better than any he remembered having before and the flavor brought back memories of times gone by. How lovely. Perhaps he'd have to visit your bakery again.

And he certainly did. Over time, the two of you built up a rapport. You were his favorite baker, and he, your loyal customer. Something about your baking made him feel warm inside. When he asked what you did to make them taste so good, you would respond that you baked them in the hopes of each good you sold bringing just a little more joy to the lives of those who ate them. He chuckled and said that it was surprisingly believable.

At some point, he became aware of the fact that the two of you were becomming... quite close. Concerningly so.

I like to think that with the life he's lead and with the personality he has, Jing Yuan is the type of person to give his affections freely. But his trust is hard won. Sitting in the seat of an Arbiter-General, not only has he had to lead troops to victory, but he's had to manuever on the political battlefield as well. After holding his title for longer than most of his peers and having to be the one so plan behind the scenes... Always planning ten steps ahead of everyone else... It would be hard to put his trust in others. Especially when you add on what happened to his old friends. Sometimes, no matter how good he is at what he does, fate will take matters into its own hands.

So when he notices this predicament... he's a bit... afraid, honestly. Huh- The Divine Foresight himself, afraid? It was the truth. He was still mortal and still had his fears and flaws.

Even so, he had no real reason to avoid you. Especially because he thought it would be best to continue as normal so as to not alarm you. You two did have a solid friendship after all this time... As much as you could when he held you at arms length.

Yet there was still tension there. In the brush of fingers when Jing Yuan handed over his payments and when you'd give him what he'd bought. The smiles the two of you would exchange. The heartfelt words that you gave Jing Yuan even when he was trying to keep a firm distance between the two of you. It made him feel a bit guilty for keeping a wall up when you were none the wiser... And perhaps the kicker was the way his heart felt full of warmth when eating the pasteries and other snacks you'd prepared for him specifically that morning, knowing he'd be in. The simple pleasure of always knowing you'd have food he'd more than enjoy ready for him. Knowing that you made it for him. Knowing you cared enough to do so. Knowing how much care and love you put into everything he ate.

And it was a moment like that in which he realized he was already too far gone.

He had been enjoying one of his favorites of yours while sitting in your shop, having enough time that afternoon to do so. He was brought back to memories of his old friends and comrads... And this time. Warm, fond memories of you. That was... new. It was then that he heard your laughter, causing the man to look up as you patted the hand of a woman who was smiling widely at you. She had been thanking you profusely for your help in making her anniversary with her boyfriend so wonderful. They had both loved the pastries and said that it seemed to make their hearts even more filled that day.

Oh.

Oh no.

His eyes crinkled as he felt a smile stretch across his face, unbidden.

He was in love with you.

From that point on, he subtly did what he could to become even closer to you. Let down his walls and allow you in. Just you. He did things to subtly court you, as well. Little gifts here and there that show his sincerety and that he remembered the things you said to him. Sometimes this would include ingredients you needed for the bakery. Eventually, he even gifts you a hairpin (even if you don't have long hair, this is mostly for the symbolism).

It was that gift that made you realize his intentions. It was a quiet morning, even before you opened shop that he stood in the back with you, under the artificial light of the shop and in casual wear due to a day off he took for this. Quietly and softly he told you that he had a gift for you and took your hand gently in his to place the elegant hairpin. He softly closed your hand around it with the hand that had previously been holding the hairpin, your hand and said hairpin held tenderly between his two larger, calloused and scarred hands. When you looked up into his eyes, searching, you saw how they had narrowed and clinkled at the edges with his warm smile. This was not a side of him you'd ever seen before in more than the barest of glimpses.

With a slow grin that he matched when he saw it, you leaned up to wrap your arms around his neck to pull him down into a kiss.

It seemed that not only your food could warm his heart.

Thank you again for the request! Feel free to send in another one~ Especially if it's for JY I love him so so much ijogee I could talk about him for daayyyysssss.

[he-calls-me-kitten]

I'm back again <33

I've got more 3am thoughts and scenarios to share >:DD

Ive got 2 options for you, feel free to do the desired one, also this might a bit spicy?....

If you write for the other exchange students :

F!MC x Thirteen

(Desired characters are Barbatos ; Satan ; Solomon and Simeon but you can add or remove whoever your want cuz this is your writing and my opinion shouldn't really matter because your the one working on it and not me. )

Our lovely characters are looking for their darling human all across the RAD grounds since they have been gone since the last class and school's finished. They stroll through the halls to pause at the sounds of a familiar voice...WHIMPERING?!

DUN DUN DUNNNN

JOKING JOKING- LETS JUST CONTINUE

Peeking through the small crack in the door they witness our lovely MC layed down on one of the RAD desk, shirt unbuttoned and thrown aside, skirt flipped up, tears streaming down her flushed face, mascara running, lipstick smudged (I seem to have a thing for smudged lipstick-), quivering and trembling as they softly sob and moan Thirteen's name, their small frame trembling under the reapers touch who planted soft kisses and marks all over their body, decorating her thighs with various hickies and bite marks as she whispered sweet nothings into the humans ear, her hands gently tracing their sheep horns and fluffy tail which caused F!MC to squirm under her touch as their animals parts are especially sensetive <333

I just like making them jealous tbh

OR THE OTHER OPTION BECAUSE I'M A SIMP AND LOVE MALEWIFES :

Barbatos X F!MC X Simeon

X !!PLATONIC!! Luke

(I'LL HAVE TO MAKE THIS SHORT CUZ I NEED SLEEP 😭😭)

Luke seeing F!MC as a mother figure and his dad's just taking it as an opportunity to sweep their beloved human to themselves. Inviting her to have a sleepover at the purgatory hall for a sleepover was only innocent and all.... Till it wasn't

Simeon's bedframe collided with each of their movements, Simeon shushing their Darling with "Stay quiet little lamb, Luke's in the next room" or "Keep your voice down darling we don't want Luke to hear now so we?" While Barbatos is a little more dirty, whispering praises about how MC takes them both so well despite her small and "fragile" form, sweat dripping down their forms as her nails dig into Simeon's back, legs trembling as her brain slowly turns to mush from the pleasure, mindless moans falling from her swollen lips, during the of the moment one of then eventually slips something up like: "You easily accepted Luke as you child, I'm sure you wouldn't mind having more" or "How about we give you actual kids of your own instead?" <333

- M. 🪭🪷

M, SERIOUSLY YOU'RE TOO FULL OF AMAZING IDEAS I CANT WITH YOU😭😭😭 And since it took me so long to reply (again so very sorry) and but because there's a distinct lack of my queen Thirteen...

F!MC x Thirteen

Two Queens in a King Sized Bed

"I'll look over the classrooms once more." Barbatos sighed. "Maybe she fell asleep tired like she does in the library sometimes."

"Yes I'll go check there just for good measure." Satan shook his head.

"MC was supposed to go visit HOL with you wasn't she?" Simeon turned to Solomon.

"Well yes we were supposed to head there after this class- wait, do you hear something?" Solomon inched towards one of the empty classrooms. The rest of them followed.

Not one of them was expecting to see what they did. Their precious MC laid down on the teacher's desk with her shirt practically ripped off her and skirt hiked all the way up to the waist and panties pushed to the side.

"Thirteen..please..." You whimpered and begged underneath the reaper. She looked like she wanted to eat you whole.

"Please what, cupcake?" Thirteen smirked latching her lips to your neck as her pretty fingers plunged into your leaking hole again. You convulsed against her, moaning and clinging onto her arms.

"..too much..." You barely managed to string two words in this mindless state. She had been toying with you for an hour now, determined not to let you leave.

"Use your words, MC." She trailed a thumb over your trembling lips and down your neck and collarbone. "Else I cannot possibly help you, you know?"

"Thirteen-"

"And who knows I might make things worse?"

"Thirteen! Ahh~" You moaned as she caught you off-guard with her thumb pressing down on your puffed up clit.

"Are you perverts done enjoying the show? Cause I'm not willing to let you join." Thirteen side-eyed the door.

Satan and Simeon fall back, scrambling to get back their usual composure. The bulges in their pants are a dead give away as where they were looking the whole time. Even as you try to cover yourself up, you know they've already seen too much.

"Why you- you! How dare you!" Satan musters through unsettled breaths. He's not okay in the slightest. All he feels like doing is ripping Thirteen apart from you like an expired bandaid and lay himself down on you.

"Is a classroom really a place to be doing all this?!" Simeon smiles with gritted teeth. The nerve to just toy with an angel's will like this - to show such an irresistible side of his one temptation.

"Indeed. It is most inappropriate Thirteen. It seems I'll have to put you in detention again, please pack your things." Barbatos pretended to fix his glove as his fist tightened.

"Apologies Thirteen, I think it's almost time for another lesson with my apprentice so it's better if you get off then now." He smiled all the while a vein popped in his neck as he held out his hand to you.

Thirteen rolled her eyes, still holding you close. "Please as if you could ever pleasure MC the way I do. This cutie deserves way better than what you lot have got." She palmed your behind and gave it a gentle squeeze while smirking, watching the men fume silently in jealous rage.

"Thirteen. Detention room. Now please." Barbatos warned again. "Ugh. Demons." She pressed a sloppy kiss against your lips, before she left. "Don't worry, I'll catch you later, cupcake."

Barbatos was planning to put you in an entirely different detention room, somewhere in his quarters at the Demon Lord's Castle. Silk ropes and his ungloved hands awaited you there as he pulled you into the din lit room.

Simeon had lost all sense of personal space. He wasn't allowed you to have you in the way the others could. But there are so many ways to pleasure humans after all. His eager fingers and needy whispers had you begging for more.

Satan pounced on you at any opportunity he got. Against the bookshelves in his room, in secluded corners of the RAD library, even in a hidden alley on the way to HOL. He wouldn't stop until muffled screams slipped through your suppressed voice.

You don't remember the last time Solomon slept in his room. Every night, he towered at the end of your bed, his bare chest and shoulders glistening in the moonlight. Every night he pulled off your nightgown and rebranded you as his. No matter who had you during the day, you'd wake up the next day as his alone.

[ghostfrog28]

Yuurivoice Characters And Listeners As Incorrect Quotes!

I already did this with Escaped Audios (sort of, it was mostly DennysVerse) but for these, the way the listeners respond will mostly be based off of my OCs for them (which I will make posts about eventually) PS, this is mostly Boo and Alphonse lol

~~

Alphonse: [Grabs Boo's ass while they're gettin groceries out of the car]

Boo: Excuse me thats my ass

Alphonse: That's our ass. We're married, bitch

~~

Finn: If I were a gardener, I'd put our tulips together.

Sunflower: Aww, babe. That's so sweet.

Alphonse: If I were a gardener, you'd be my hoe.

Boo: ... thanks

~~

Lucien: *stroking Angel’s hair* you're so tiny.

Angel: *sleepily* I could beat the shit out of you.

Lucien: *lovingly* | know.

Or

Alphonse: *stroking Boo’s hair* you're so tiny.

Boo: *sleepily* I could beat the shit out of you.

Alphonse: *lovingly* | know.

(It’s funny cuz my OC for Boo is 6’0, meanwhile, my OC for Angel is 5’3)

~~

Charlie: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Boo: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Angel: Tackle him.

Star: Dump him.

Rook: Kick him in the shin.

Casper: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN.

(my Casper OC is 6’4 lol)

~~

Boo, making chicken and dumpling soup, dropping a dumpling on the floor: This is sadder than the time I almost died in College

Alphonse or Seth, choking on his coffee: Excuse me?

(rewrote this one a little bit)

~~ ⚠️ Slight NSFW ⚠️

Boo: I can’t eat this, its far too hot

Alphonse: You're far too hot yet I still manage

Room: Um-

Auron: WE'RE ON A DOUBLE DATE, I'M RIGHT HERE

~~ ⚠️ NSFW Again ⚠️

Boo: oh fuck me

Seth: yes please

Boo: what?

Seth: what?

Alphonse from the other room: HE SAID YES PLEASE!

~~

Alphonse: BOO! WHERE'S MY-

Sugarboo: By the door

Seth: Sugar! Do you know where the-

Sugarboo: In the kitchen

Charlie: Hey Sal (OC name), have you seen my stack of-

Sugarboo: On Seth's nightstand

Sugarboo: Independent my ass. You guys would fall apart without me

(Sal is my OC for Sugarboo)

~~ ⚠️ Slight NSFW ⚠️

Charlie: bro-

Casper: No, no, hold up, rewind.

Charlie: ...

Casper: My tongue was down your throat just a second ago, and now you're calling me bro??

~~ ⚠️you guessed it, NSFW ⚠️

Seth: What exactly do you think of me?

Sugarboo: Somewhere between "fuck you" and "I'd fuck you."

~~

Alphonse: I don't think | can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.

Boo: *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is.

Alphonse: What- no!

~~

Star: When Faust was born, the gods said, "He's too perfect for this world."

Auron: Please. When he was born, the devil said, "Oh, competition."

~~

Boo: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Alphonse: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so l can feel whole again.

Boo: O-oh. Well... Wait. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Alphonse: Is it working?

(this one could be vise versa)

~~

Alphonse, at some point: You speak RUSSIAN ?? Say something !!!

Boo: Ты самый красивый мужчина в мире, любовь моя (You're the most beautiful man in the world, my love.)

Alphonse: What does it mean ?

Boo: It means don't give me orders you fucking bastard

(Another little thing, my OC for Sugarboo is half Russian and half British)

~~

Seth, after learning Sugarboo also speaks Russian: Does Sugar think in English or Russian?

Alphonse: Bold of you to assume Boo thinks.

~~

Rook: Ugh, life can be difficult sometimes.

Sal (Sugarboo): But death, on the other hand...

Rook, squirting Sal with a water sprayer: No, Sal

~~

Boo: I don't think Faust is very happy about you dating his brother.

Rook: What makes you say that?

Boo, reading a text aloud: Rachel (Rook). I hope this message finds you before I do.

~~

That’s all for now! Hope you enjoyed!

[lookingthroughmirrors]

Opinion on how annabeth punches and pushes percy, the judo flip and percy being reduced to a himbo malewife in hoo (can't make his way out of a paper bag without annabeth).

(Please note most of knowledge comes from PJO and HOO as I have not read much of the later series, but I do know the main points and events that happened and have read certain pages *cough* judo flip *cough*

I’ll start with the first part, Annabeth punching Percy (which happens the first time long before HOO) and the infamous Judo flip, which is for some reason very controversial.

Most of the arguments I see are one of these few things.

1. Annabeth was worried and did it out love

2. They were raised as demigods (child soldiers) so it’s not the same/ they are used to violence therefore it excuses her actions

3. There is nothing wrong with her hitting because it wasn’t like

First off, all of these arguments and any other ones I’ve seen when it comes to this topic and defending Annabeth are bullshit. Why? Because there is no excuse to hitting a partner. Slapping someone’s shoulder while joking or something in a similar context is miles different to what was happening here. Annabeth hit Percy hard, and she did it with the intention of making it hurt. There is no excuse for that. Sure, they were raised as Demigods and violence has always been a large part of their lives, but then shouldn’t Percy also lash out and hit Annabeth if that’s the case? And shouldn’t that be fine too? You don’t hit someone out of worry or concern either, not hard enough for an army to believe you to be a threat. Annabeth has never been nice to Percy, she canonically say in TLT that she doesn’t care if he dies, only that she can go on the quest. And ok, maybe that could be written off as an immature twelve year old, if her actions in later books didn’t continually prove that she hadn’t changed or developed. I think another fundamental issue in her relationship with Percy is that she can never be wrong, Luke being the biggest example of this.

Percy, even with his history and past friendship with Luke, was able to look at things objectively to an extent. He says multiple times that Luke had a point. I honestly think if it had’ve just been Luke, if titans hadn’t of been involved, that Percy would’ve joined Luke. But that’s a whole other thing. I only bring it up because I think Luke particularly is the best example of Percy having far better judgement than Annabeth, who refuses to be wrong. Something that again is addressed within BOTL, when she challenges the Sphynx because of her pride, and is an asshole to Rachel because she doesn’t want to rely on another person and is jealous. She likes being the leader, she wants to be the person people rely on, but that has always comes naturally to Percy despite how much he himself hates it.

I personally would’ve far preferred Perachel to be canon than Percab*th. Percy is always stressed about Annabeth, about doing the wrong thing where with Rachel feels like he can be himself, not like he has to live up to some invisible standard he can’t ever hope to meet.

I also, as I’ve written about before when discussing Percab*th is that Annabeth is not an essential character to HOO, and that she could’ve easily been interchanged for someone more interesting and dynamically different. I think Percy was sidelined to try and give Annabeth more purpose in the story. I also think Percy is consistently put down, berated and underestimated. He literally has people thinking he’s a god when he first meets them, that isn’t someone who lacks power. I also think Annabeth has always been a little bit scared of Percy to certain degree. Or at least acutely aware that she would not be able to put a fight if Percy turned on her and he put in a tiny bit of effort.

I also Percy is never given enough or really any recognition of everything he did. That he took the prophecy so it wouldn’t go to Nico. That he turned down immortality, not for Annabeth, but because of a promise he made to Luke and his years long stance that nothing is worth living forever for. I think the nuance of Percy as a character, and his ability to connect with and understand characters like Like and Ethan is severely underdeveloped. He has never been blind to the gods faults, he didn’t do what he did in the name of the gods. He did it for the campers, for the demigods who’d carry out their parents burdens simply because they had the audacity to be born. Demigods doomed to die from the moment they’re born because of their parents, like him. I particularly think Percy is too far often used as a scapegoat for Nico’s issues and often either villainised or dumbed down into a himbo.

It’s ridiculous, since Percy has repeatedly shown himself to have both better judgment and better strategising skills than Annabeth. Percy is better than Annabeth, and he has far more power than she ever will.

Percy is such an amazing and nuanced character with so much room to explore different characteristics he’s shown at different times and he is too often sidelined to boost another character (most often Annabeth and Nico)

Overall I don’t really like Annabeth, and I’ve yet to hear a viable reason as to why what she did should be ok. And I truly believe HOO did a disservice to Percy by dumbing him down, and making him reliant on Annabeth.

I hope you like my answer! Thank you so much for asking I absolutely love getting questions and I also love a chat so please feel free to keep it coming!

[duckwithablog]

Hello there!! Can i headcanons for Red son, Nezha, Sun Wukong and Macaque with their fem s/o who is acting like a house wife + she's good taking care or babysit children

Hello!! Hope you like this one!!

Red Son, Nezha, Wukong and Macaque x fem! housewife! reader

Red Son

I don't think he realizes what you're doing, at first. Like, he'd try to insist that you leave all the cleaning and cooking to the bull clones

They keep saying "You are the lover of the Prince of the Demon Bull King family, which makes you the Princess! Please, dear, leave the cleaning and such to the bots."

If you keep insisting though, he'll give in and let you what you want. He actually tries to help you out with some chores! You guys both wash the dishes and cook meals together :]

Firmly believes that she shouldn't just let you do all the hard work by yourself. You're his beloved! If you want to become their housewife, then he will become your househusband. That's how a relationship is supposed to work, right? Both parties have to do their own share of work!

So now you got a Malewife Red Son. Congrats!!

Sometimes he sees you babysit some kids and even babying some of the bull clones they made, and she has to calm himself down before their hair torches the ceiling

Red Son is sort of a romantic, and daydreams sometimes on what having a family with you is like... So seeing you be so gentle with children fuels those fantasies a whole lot

Be prepared for a marriage proposal in the near future!!

Nezha

Nezha is literally the God of Children. So if he ever sees you being so gentle with kids, he'll be so touched before joining you

Nezha never really thought about marriage or having kids of his own, so whenever he sees you act all motherly with children or acting like a housewife his face gets red

Accidentally referred to you as his wife once and got so embarrassed afterwards. Please don't bring it up he'll literally collapse /j

Has actually thought of doing those traditional chinese marriages with you if you guys ever do get married. He brings up the topic of marriage once to gouge out your reaction so he can see how you feel about it

Nezha starts to warm up to the concept of you being a housewife after a while, but that doesn't mean he'll leave all the work to you!

There's not much to do living with him anyway. He already cleans his own things and makes his own meals, so at best you only make food whenever he's tired and clean stuff he forgot to clean

Wukong

Oh, he loves it. He loves the fact that you act like his housewife so much, that bastard

He can't cook for shit, so you often make meals for him. He tries to help you out, but I think it's best if he just stays as a cooking assistant for now-

I don't think he eats anything other than peaches in his mountain, so make sure to give him a variety of food in his meals! He would be so grateful. He'd literally eat anything you make and say that it tastes better than the peaches of immortality

Wukong is also very messy. Please tell him to pick up after himself or else you're gonna be cleaning so much stuff

Believe it or not, your housewife actions actually influence him a bit! He gets you a bunch of ingredients from over the world, even mythical ones! Fully encourages your cooking and cleaning habits by gifting you things like that

The baby monkeys love you so much. So much that he told you he thinks they love you more than they love him

He doesn't mind, he agrees with them to be honest lmao

I don't think he cares much for starting a family/getting married, since you guys practically act married already! But if you want things to get official, then he'll gladly oblige

Macaque

Isn't used to people taking care of him. Whenever he wakes up to you cooking a meal just for him and cleaning up the dojo, he gets so touched that he doesn't know what to say

Mac really likes it when you act like a housewife. He loves the domestic vibes he gets when he sees you cook or clean early in the morning. Living a peaceful and loving life with you is like, his biggest dream

He wants to pay you back for all your hard work, somehow. Says a whole lot of 'thank you's and 'Aw, for me?'s, but internally he's racking his brain for any possible way to give you the same amount of love you give him

You tell him it isn't necessary, but he just really wants to show you how much he loves you! So he gives you little gifts, like an apron or some suggesting some food recipes you guys could make together

Isn't that big of a family guy, I think. He knows you babysit kids, but he stays out of the way most of the time because he thinks he might scare them. That all changes once the Hostess comes over and you guys immediately bond

It's only after hanging out with you and the hostess is that he realizes how much he'd love having a life of quiet with you. Just you and him, maybe some kids, living peacefully in a house somewhere. He brings it up to you someday, to see what you think about it, before agreeing on something

He's engaged now :]] Mac is doing mental fist pumps whenever he sees you with the ring on your finger

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope this was good!! I actually like the way I characterized Red Son here. Nezha's was pretty short, but that's mostly because I don't know his character all that well. This was super fun to write!