#please feel free to ignore :)

[firewasabeast]

i'm pissed right now about a lot of personal things and I'm gonna take it out by talking about 911 shit and how people refuse to let tommy grow as a character but take up for literally all the other screw ups on the show. under a cut so you can avoid:

going on instagram is always a mistake but i went on there anyway and people are just being absolute pieces of shit. i do not know a single character on 911 that hasn't fucked up in some way but tommy is the only one not worthy of redemption. i know why, we all know why, but i do not understand why the dipshits that ship buddie so fiercely are so stupid as to not recognize that their little babies are fucked up too.

eddie left his wife and reenlisted because he couldn't handle being a dad, especially to a handicapped kid. then he got pissed when his wife asked for help, asked to go see her family. honestly, do not blame his parents one bit for wanting custody of christopher. they fucking raised him! eddie still relies on the people around him to take care of his needs. he had a one sided friendship with lena, asks buck to babysit more than hangout, was getting flights to vegas out of tommy, and used his girlfriends as glorified babysitters as well. also cheated on his girlfriend with a dead wife lookalike???

hen cheated on her wife for no fucking reason, then spent the next episode all smug when everyone else got their karma for being garbage, and they had karen take her back after like one episode apart?

bobby got his entire family killed.

athena regularly abuses her power as a police officer when it benefits her or her family.

chimney basically lied through the first relationship we ever saw him in, and was a horrible captain.

maddie doesn't know the meaning of staying in your lane and getting the fuck out of other peoples business. she should have been fired a few times over.

buck cheated on his girlfriend, asked her to move in instead of being honest with her, and basically trapped her with him. he also stole firetrucks to go have sex while at work, which he very much should have (permanently) been fired for.

they're all screw ups and that's the whole point!! that they're trying to be better and do better and learn from their past. Everyone gets a free pass but tommy. maybe it's because I relate to him so much, because I once was the old version of him (probably worse tbh) and I worked really fucking hard on myself to be better and do better. i guess it's personal for me because I honestly relate to him more than any of the other characters, but it's also really fucking stupid to be so hateful toward a fictional character and real live person because you want two specific characters (one of whom's actor has said REPEATEDLY is straight) to kiss.

and for all the assholes who want to claim that lou is racist or whatever the fuck you've decided he is this week, I seriously suggest you research a certain regular actor on the show a bit further before you come to me with that shit.

in conclusion, ship whoever you want, i don't give a shit, but stop pretending your character is an angel when in reality they all suck because all humans in general suck!

[mountainofhistory]

Broke: Making abilities for your OCs

Woke: Making spellcards for your OCs

Bespoke: Making tradable Ability Cards for your OCs

[betasuppe]

I'm just so used to & so accepting to only ever get insults & complaints & harsh fucking critiques that I genuinely have no idea how to process kind compliments. Like, at all.

I've been torn up all day long after being pulled in to sit with my manager & expecting to get reemed to hell & back, where he just paid me compliment after compliment on things I only imagined my higher ups at work have never even acknowledged. & now I'm feeling really really weird by it all.

I'm literally just sitting here, hours & hours later, feeling worried & nervous, still waiting for the other shoe to drop and to get walloped even harder in the fucking face because. People just don't pay me compliments.

I don't know what the fuck to do like. I think I should be happy & grateful my higher ups have noticed me & acknowledge the special things I bring to the table. But instead, I have this huge feeling of just dread dread dread haunting me.

[thelurkershideout]

Just gonna stream of consciousness brainstorm here a sec

So Fjora is my Thieves Guild OC, she's also probably my longest existing OC. She was born in Riften, met Brynjolf when they were both young and formed a friendship, then ran away from her terrible home life and studied to be a bard in Solitude before coming back to Riften years later.

I've been thinking a lot about those early days in Riften recently, and I know that Fjora never met or knew Gallus or Karliah before the events of the quest line. But like, what if they knew her?

What if they were aware of this little girl who clung to the edges of rooms and crowds on instinct? This girl who is already a natural at hovering just out of sight as a defense mechanism? She is clearly lonely, and there's something just WRONG. They know they can't approach her directly, she's too young to join the guild and her family has too tight of control over her for them to approach anyway. BUT they have a relatively new recruit only a few years older than her, fresh from the Gold Coast (this is my attempt to explain the "Lass") who needs to start socializing with the locals so he gets better at his job.

So Gallus gives Brynjolf a gentle nudge. "Just try to talk to her." Maybe under the guise of teaching him how to gather information. "She's always watching people, I wonder what she knows?" Brynjolf is awkward, he hasn't mastered his charm yet, but the quiet giggle from the girl who sits under the docks when it rains is promising.

Snow Veil Sanctum happens shortly after Brynjolf first speaks to Fjora. Years later Gallus's spirit isn't quite sure why, but the young woman who enters the Sepulchre is familiar and he feels hope return to him.

[mcdavidonthebreakaway]

I, an Oilers fan, moved to Vancouver a few years ago. Some of my favourite days to go out are Vancouver vs Edmonton game days, where Vancouver is the home team.

Blue and orange jerseys everywhere because the Canucks fans go to arena but Oilers fans find a screen and plant themselves there like their roots were never uplifted. Numbers are suddenly the most important thing in the world- 21 shots to their 17, 3-3, 46 seconds left in the 3rd, 97 to 29 passed back to 18 and back to 97 and SCORE -cheering every time the away jerseys make the puck find home in the net, waiting for the telltale sound of the buzzer to tell us it’s over- the anxiety, the pressure, the play, the period, the game.

Everyone cheers, strangers hug the person beside them because that’s our team and we won and every single point feels personal. It’s us against the Canucks, it’s us against the league, it’s us against the world, if you’re feeling a little dramatic.

And that little bar down the road from my house feels like home, if only for a few hours.

[theinternetisfulloftrash]

Does hubs whimper like Colin in Not Okay when he cums?

Oh. Oh my!

Anon really narrowing in on the deets on SINday. Coming in hot. Uhhh... he's a little more subtle, generally? Like... a grunt through gritted teeth kinda guy? Though, I occasional get a Colin-like whined whimper. The variety is really nice, honestly 😏

[haven-avalon]

im sorry for. neurotically rbing persona 3 stuff i am in the reload mindset

[zorosdimples]

i think i “hated” sasuke when i first watched naruto because i saw a lot of myself in him. i have never been outwardly rude and abrasive, and i don’t seek vengeance—it’s his more nuanced characteristics that i relate with (or did relate with when i was his age).

like:

being an overachiever and excelling at many different things, but still falling short of the expectations i have set for myself.

feeling like i will never be good enough in anyone’s estimation.

putting up walls and thinking it’s impossible to get hurt if i don’t let anyone in.

single-mindedly focusing on a goal to the detriment of my health and happiness and flourishing.

thinking that love, sensitivity, and empathy are inherently weak.

these are just a few examples. but watching naruto from my adult perspective made me want to shake him and scream wake up! life doesn’t have to be this miserable. but when i was his age? i was the same way. and i still carry many of these feelings with me today.

[caspergs]

every time someone famous is outed as being a shitty person theres people going “this is why you shouldn’t idolize celebrities,” “why are you sad that a bad person is being exposed as a bad person,” like PLEASE just let people be upset that someone they liked sucks

[defiantly-ageis]

.

[splattertrouper]

Vent Post

How in the fuck do you expect me to run our program with no supervisor? Like, I had to be in a call with our grantee and I know I looked like an ass after I had to basically fumble through the info I know but am not used to disseminating this directly. I get that we're going through a transitional period, and I would never say that our old supervisor should stay against their will. But fuck off dude, this disorganized mess is doing nothing but stressing me out. I also can't talk to anybody cause the owners are busy too often with this new project! I feel so neglected.

[hashtagkreiderpic]

Alright team- I turned in my last final this morning! Which means my first year of school is officially done- and I can watch some fucking hockey again and I swear to god if the Rangers don’t keep it up now that I can participate I’m gonna be pissed.

Also I got a new to me car this week! Sad saying bye to the one I’ve had since I was 15 but exciting to get to pick my own and get some of the new car features I didn’t have in my 2007 model.

The move isn’t over at work unfortunately and honestly works never been worse but it’s fine I’m refusing to work on weekends for them or longer than 30 minutes past my shift so we’ll get there.

Anyways; I think those are all the updates- but the most important one is that hockey screaming should resume

[betasuppe]

Why are you working yourself up so much over this blog? Is it your main source of income? Is it relevant to your survival in any shape or form? Do you really NEED it in your life to be happy? Is the validation you get through it so important? These are questions i keep asking myself a lot too. I don't want to give you any adivce on what to do with your blog, cause that is only up to you what you decide in the end. but maybe think about why this makes you feel so horrible cause it seems to happen a lot lately and its worrying.

Just... take care of yourself is what I'm trying to say 💖

Idk what's really wrong with me, man. But I appreciate you breaking it down like this to me. & uh. More stuff under the break. Please feel free to ignore, I just want to get this shit off my mind...

To be fair, I really don't have any sort of social life irl... at all. Here? This is basically the only place I'm actually able to be myself & my blog kinda turned into a huge vent station for me because I can't get out my thoughts or issues anywhere else haha

Then beyond my blog, my art dies in my sketchbooks. I don't have anyone to show my crap to. I don't have anyone to babble with about any of my fandoms or AUs. That's why this blog has become so much of an emotional struggle for me. I love it & I hate it both.

I know the hunt for neverending validation is toxic & impossible as hell, but it genuinely feels good to know I have anything of an audience for my silly content beyond me myself & I. No matter, I can barely even process compliments or positive responses while my insecurities are on an all time high lmao

But also, dont get me wrong! I'm very very grateful for the friends I've made here!... but true deep set lonesomeness can't be fixed so easily.

I just always feel like a nuisance. I don't think my work is any good at all & so any nice comments tend to ring hallow because... well, how could it mean anything really when all I see is my own ineptitude?

Anyways. I know I'm a pain in the ass & my mental health is a fucking roller coaster. I know leaving here long term would be healthy for my mental state but also. At what cost?

Sorry for the ramble. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know if any of this makes sense. I don't know. I'm just numb & hurting all at once. I'm sorry I'm like this.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

i'm not trying to start anything, but i just saw a post criticizing misha collins for not choosing to quit spn when the network was homophobic and he was "profiting from homophobia" and i just think it's kind of... wild? that young people think that a person could just. decide to not work for a prejudiced corporation when they have a family to provide for?

i don't know, i don't even really want to debate or go into it more, but it's just kind of surreal to see opinions from people who weren't there in 2013 when misha collins was literally the only person willing to support not just destiel shippers but actual queer and trans and ace fans. i have no doubt that he saved lives through the care he showed to vulnerable young people who desperately needed to see someone give a damn about them. he's significantly flawed in many ways, but he will always be a saint in my eyes for how much he cared.

like i just don't think that people accustomed to this modern era where hardly anyone blinks over two men kissing on tv can understand what it was like when we were mocked and silenced, when we weren't allowed to breathe the word 'destiel' without getting booed, and misha was the only damn person who spoke up for us. the only one. who was probably risking his job in saying the things he did.

things have changed. that's wonderful. don't judge people surviving previous eras by the standards of today.

[p1harmonie]

P1HARMONY | 'S'AVIORS

[cordiallyfuturedwight]

온유 ONEW 3RD EP [FLOW] jacket behind