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lamesiscanon · 4 years

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Remus meets Padfoot

(Read on AO3)

The first time Remus saw the dog in the shrieking shack, he was high.

Not high in the way he and James would spend Sunday afternoons under the quidditch stands, nor in the way the four marauders would occasionally get something from Gid Prewett and spend hours in their dorm room talking about nothing that mattered and laughing until their stomachs hurt.

No, Remus was high in the sense that he tore his body nearly in half once a month and this potion that Pomfrey gave him was the only way to minimalize the pain before he ripped himself apart in just under an hour. Side effects may include: tripping balls and space travel to other planets.

And apparently hallucinating giant, black dogs. This one was new. But hey, at least the full moon didn’t have shit on him now.

Had Remus been in a state of mind that would have allowed his brain to produce just one sober thought, he might have been scared. Hallucination or not, seeing a dog that was almost the same size as your werewolf alter ego standing at an arm’s length away from your face was enough to scare any regular person shitless.

The thought was enough to make Remus laugh to himself. Any normal person would be scared shitless, but fortunately for Remus he was a teenage werewolf with a fucking magic wand. Seeing some stray in the shack was the least of his problems.

The stray in question cocked it’s head to the side, still staring at Remus, and the action was so familiar that Remus felt something shift in his mind that didn’t quite sit right. Remus only laughed harder.

“I don’t know what you want from me.” And oh Merlin, now he was talking to a dog and quite obviously getting no response. Maybe he should try again in an hour, when he was no longer Remus Lupin. The dog stared, making no effort to reply if it could. It was actually kind of adorable, and Remus would love to indulge in the company if he weren’t about to turn into a fucking monster.

“You should leave. You’re not safe here.”

The dog didn’t move, and Remus’ control quickly started to deplete.

“Get the fuck out of here. I could hurt you, you know.”

Again, the dog tilted its head and Remus hated how odd it made him feel. Everything about the damn thing, the fur, the eyes, the movements. It all almost reminded him of -

“Seriously, are you even fucking real?” Remus got frustrated, frantic with the sudden paranoia that maybe he wasn’t even here right now, and maybe the transformation already happened and maybe the wolf had finally just finished it and maybe this was some kind of sick afterlife dream -

Oh.

The dog had moved to sit its head directly on Remus’ lap, where his hand involuntarily came to rest on the back of its neck, snapping him back to reality. Soft, silky black fur. His movements through the dog’s hair were gentle despite Remus’ rising agitation. He should get up, shove the dog’s head off of him and throw him out the tunnel, since there really was no other way of exiting the shack.

“How did you get in here, girl?” Remus asked, to which the only reply was a short, deep growl. “Shit, sorry. How’d you get in here, buddy?”

Remus felt ridiculous. High off his mind, talking to a stray dog that had somehow wandered past the tree and ended up laying it’s head in Remus’ lap after one minute of meeting him, and Remus was now talking to the damn thing, like it could answer him and take away all of the worries that lived on Remus’ imaginary list of “How fucked up can my life really get?”

“You’re not safe, I’m about to tear this room apart and I could hurt you.”

Still, the dog didn’t answer, (No fucking surprise there) and Remus really didn’t make any effort in kicking it out. Even if he wanted to, he wasn’t sure his body would allow him to do that at the moment. Already, he could feel the moon pulling his mind away, and his blood becoming hotter while his skin started crawling a mile a minute.

“I hope you’re safe.” Was the last thing Remus managed to remember saying before the potion really took over, and then half an hour later, Remus Lupin was no longer a teenage boy, but a monster under the full moon.

The dog wasn’t in the shack after Remus woke up the next morning.

The second time Remus saw the dog, he didn’t take the potion. Madam Pomfrey was so surprised to see the lack of injuries Remus woke up with last month, that she had insisted she’d save it for when Remus would really need it, and worried that taking it every month would just allow his body to build up a tolerance anyways.

The dog came in quietly, something Remus wouldn’t have noticed if it weren’t for his super human hearing and the smell of sweaty fur that surrounded the room the second it walked through the door. Remus was sitting on the bed, hands clasped tight like he was trying to break his own fingers, and head hung low to stop his head from spinning.

“Hello again.” Remus grit out, always polite no matter the circumstances. “I hope I didn’t scare you away last time. I’m glad you weren’t hurt.”

The dog came over to sit in front of Remus, head tilted curiously again which made Remus scoff.

“I know, I know. I’m fucking crazy, you can’t understand me, and you watched me turn into a beast last month. Anything else you’d like to cover?” Remus asked, watching as the dog moved towards him and nudged at his clasped hands.

Stop it he seemed to be saying. Remus regretfully let his fingers slide out from each other, one by one, until the dog was able to move between them and set its head on Remus’ upper thigh.

“You smell like my boyfriend.” Remus said. The dog yelped, excitedly, before resting his head back where it was. “No, don’t take that as a compliment. He’s always sweaty after quidditch and insists on victory hugs. It’s disgusting.”

If any of this wasn’t weird before, it certainly was then, now that Remus could swear he watched the dog roll his eyes.

“Your fur is softer than his hair though, I’ll give you that.” Remus said through a yawn, noticing from his watch that he was only half an hour from transformation. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to take off my clothes before I rip them to shreds.”

The dog moved away slowly, moving to stand contentedly by the foot of the bed, watching Remus as he took off his sweater, then the t-shirt, and finally his jeans and pants. He shoved them far under the bed, hoping they’d be safe and easy to access before Madam Pomfrey got there in the morning.

The dog stayed with Remus, through the transformation, and was there this time when Remus woke up, curled up under the werewolf’s head and snoring soundly.

His injuries from the night before were minimal, and the dog looked perfectly safe.

Huh.

Things started clicking in Remus’ mind when James and Peter were all of sudden calling Sirius “Padfoot” around the common room and in the dorm. How James made too many jokes about Sirius’ “dog-like” behavior to the point where it was no longer funny, though at first, Remus didn’t understand why they were so funny to Peter. Then Remus started noticing how tired Sirius was the days after full moons, like he’d stayed up all night.

Remus Lupin was no idiot, and the rest of the Marauders should have remembered that if they wanted to keep it a secret.

Before Remus was to head out to the shack for the third time that year, Sirius grabbed his wrist and kissed him, a deep loving kiss and whispered a “see you soon” though Sirius didn’t know that Remus knew how “soon” he actually meant.

Padfoot showed up fifteen minutes after Remus arrived at the shack, clothes already off and huddled under the threadbare blanket on the armchair in the corner. It was missing a lot of stuffing, thanks to the several scratch marks, but it was comfy thanks to his well placed charms.

Remus smiled when he saw the big, black dog nose the door open and then shut.

“I’m glad to see you.” He told it, and the dog stopped, like it were surprised, before bouncing towards Remus on the chair and licking his face. Knowing Sirius, he was just as excited to see Remus.

“Ugh, stop. If I wanted terrible, sloppy kisses then I’d just go ask my boyfriend.”

The dog barked in protest, and Remus managed to keep from laughing, watching Padfoot plop his head on the armrest of the chair in protest.

“Aw, sorry boy.” Remus pulled his arm from under the blanket to move his fingers through the familiar, dark fur, and watched the dog relax. “I didn’t mean to offend you. If it makes you feel better, you’re not nearly as bad as he is.”

Padfoot pulled away quickly, giving out another sharp bark in indignation before going to sit on the bed, like he were protesting Remus’ words. As fun as this was, Remus had had enough.

He pulled himself away from the chair with the blanket wrapped around him and went to sit next to Padfoot on the bed.

“Sirius.” Remus whispered, and the dog raised it’s head in response, though it didn’t seem like he had registered what Remus just called him. “Change back, please. I want you right now.”

Realization flooded Padfoot’s eyes, and Remus stared until they became Sirius’ perfect gray ones.

“Who the fuck told you! Was it Peter? I swear to Merlin, that rat is going to fucking-”

“Sirius.”

Sirius stopped, looking back at Remus with apology and a lot of questions on his face.

“No one told me, I figured it out.”

“You- you figured it out.” It wasn’t a question but Remus nodded anyway. “How? I mean, I know you’re not stupid, Moony, but I thought I was subtle.”

“Moony? Is that a nickname similar to Padfoot?” Remus asked. Sirius gaped at him, before flopping himself down on the bed.

“Fucking James and his dog jokes, that’s how you knew, isn’t it?”

“Yes. But since the first time you came here I thought ‘Padfoot’ reminded me of someone. Some ridiculous, charming boy who insists on sweaty hugs after quidditch games and is terrible at kissing.” Remus laughed when Sirius sat up and shoved at Remus’ shoulder.

“You were having me on!” Sirius realized. “You were trying to get me to admit it to you.”

Remus reached over and grabbed Sirius’ hand, still laughing but looking at Sirius like he was something precious. It made Sirius’ heart beat fast and want to hold Moony until he was safe.

I love you. Fuck, Moony, I just realized I love you.

“I wasn’t trying to get you to admit it to me. But it was fun to watch you try and prove your kissing skills.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, but he looked back to Remus with a soft gaze and what he hoped was absolute love in his eyes.

“So you technically knew it was me the whole time.” Sirius reached his hand up to cup Remus’ jaw, thumb stroking the smallest scar on his cheek.

“I guess so. The way you tilt your head when you’re curious or confused, and how you like to lay your head in my lap. I remember thinking that this new strange dog acted exactly like the boy I’m in love with.” Remus eyes stared right into Sirius’ during the confession, like he was challenging Sirius, or more like trying to prove how honest he was being.

Sirius realized his mouth had dropped open, and he quickly shut it before crawling closer to Remus until he was in the other boy’s lap.

“You... you love me?”

Sirius’ tone made Remus’ heart ache. The fact that he had to question it at all made Remus angry at Sirius’ family, at anyone who ever made this boy doubt the love he had in his life.

Remus moved his hands from Sirius’ arms to his face, so they were both cupping each other’s chins and stroking their thumbs. Sirius’ face was wet.

“Of course I love you. You’re such a fucking brave, reckless Gryffindor I think they should name the house after you.” Sirius giggled wetly, pulling at Remus’ heart. “And the way you care for James, Peter, Regulus, Lily. And me. Fuck, pads, you became and animagus for me. There’s no way I couldn’t love you. You’re just you and I was doomed from the start.”

Sirius finally, finally leaned in and kissed Remus. It started as a soft kiss, light and full of sweetness before Sirius angled his head and deepened it.

“It’s not just me.” Sirius gasped a couple of minutes later when he regretfully had to pull away. “It wasn’t just- James and Peter are animagi to. Or, trying to be. I mastered it before them.” Sirius smirked at Remus, resting their foreheads together.

“Of course you did, you egotistical genius.” Remus leaned in and kissed Sirius again. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Fuck, how have I not said it back already? I fucking love you, Moony.”

The moment wasn’t forever, despite how sweet it was. Remus had less than thirty minutes before the full moon, he could feel it pulling on his skin, his heart, his head. The pain that showed up before every transformation was numbed though, by the boy in his arms who was playing with Remus’ hair and leaving kisses on his nose, eyebrow, cheeks and eyelids. Anywhere he could reach, really.

And when the morning came, Sirius was able to transform back into himself this time and heal some of Remus’ minor injuries. After every one, he’d leave a soft kiss over each new scar and whispers of “I love you.”

Remus didn’t need a potion that numbed his pain and made him high, he needed Sirius, and their friends who were going to join them in the shack soon to help Remus’ life become a little easier. With them, the full moon really didn’t have shit on him now.

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clumsybookworm18 · 5 years

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and my burden to bear is a love (i can’t carry anymore) | pt.6

ao3 | Moodboard | parts: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

Summary: Josh awakens after dawn and makes an upsetting discovery.

A/N: This is me trying to write a simple flashback scene that ended up turning into a whole chapter and a bunch of ANGST™

Enjoy :)

Josh didn’t remember how he got here.

One moment he was in the mines. The next, he was walking through the station’s doors. The precinct was crawling with activity. Phones continuously ringing, rangers coming in and out, even a few EMTs walked in. For the life of him Josh couldn’t remember how he got here. Everything was so fuzzy.

The mines... He’d been in the mines with Mike. They were supposed to regroup with Sam and the others at the lodge. But he doesn’t remember getting out of the mines… He followed Mike. He saw a stranger's body hanging on a hook. He jumped into the freezing water. And then… and then… and then what?

Josh peered down at himself. His- the Psycho’s- overalls had been replaced by black clothes. His hands weren’t dirty anymore. His face no longer hurt. What happened? Did he make it out? Had the others?

He approached the man sitting in the front desk. Josh cleared his throat. “Excuse me.”

The man didn’t look up.

“Uh excuse me,” he repeats a little more louder. The man still didn’t look up.

Okay, rude. “What are you, deaf? Hellooo?”

Still not looking at him.

“Listen pal, I just had one of the worst nights of my life so if you could help me out here, that’ll be fucking swell.”

But the man kept scribbling some forms on the desk and didn’t answer him.

Oh, fuck this.

His eyes flickered towards the open door where an officer just came out of. Since the man in the front desk was still ignoring him, Josh saw no fault in walking in. Nobody stopped him as he made his way through the hallway, nobody acknowledged him.

For a moment, Josh wondered if this was another of his hallucinations, but it didn’t feel like one. Usually his hallucinations involved accusations or pointed fingers at him. Here, there was nobody telling him what a piece of shit he was, instead they were just ignoring him.

“Okay…” he murmured to himself. “This is freaking me the fuck out.”

Even with all the activity, there was a preternatural quiet- like an omen. Josh kept walking, ignoring the trepidation that tugged inside him. The flutter of uneasiness that grew as he slowly treaded farther. He took a turn and-

There she was. Sitting alone in the hallway, was Sam, her fingers clutching the blanket thrown around her shoulders.

“Sam,” he breathes, relieved to see a familiar face.

He doesn’t hesitate to approach her but she doesn’t look up, not even when he’s standing right in front of her. Josh frowns, studying her in the wan light, his eyes going to the blood smeared across her forehead and her cheek. She looked like she’d been to hell and back. “Sam.”

She didn’t answer. He grew more nervous with every passing second of silence. Josh knew he’d fucked up, that he and his friends weren’t on the best terms at the moment but Sam wasn’t one to ignore him for the sake of it. Especially at a time like this. Josh kneeled before her, her unseeing eyes making him uneasy. This wasn’t the same girl he saw in the mines.

Something was wrong.

“Sammy?” He raised a hand to brush a stray lock of hair from her face only for it to go through her. Josh stumbled back, falling on his ass.

Something was very wrong.

He touched his chest, his face, but they felt solid. He felt a sinking dread as he reached out, as he tried to touch Sam again but his hand went straight through.

What. The. Fuck.

“Samantha Giddings?”

They both looked up to see a cop approaching. Josh didn’t react fast enough, didn’t have time to move away before the man walked right through him. He doesn’t feel it, not physically, but the reality of the situation arrowed into him.

No. No way this was happening. Not to him. This had to be some mistake, he couldn’t… he wasn’t...

Dead.

Josh’s ears were ringing. No one can see him, no one could hear him, no one could touch him. Shit, someone just walked through him like he was nothing...

The cop said something. Josh couldn’t hear him. His eyes went to Sam again. She was being led to a door labeled as Interview Room 1. He called her name in a hoarse whisper.

Look back. Please.

She didn’t.

***

Rain fell without mercy as Josh walked upon rows and rows of gravestones, the sound of water hitting stone growing louder with every step he took. The cemetery was empty, something he didn’t find surprising, considering that not many people liked to spend their time among the resting dead.

After that godawful funeral that put his memory to shame, Josh didn’t know where else to go. Didn’t know what else to do. Since there was no way in hell he was going back to the manor (he had already haunted those halls long enough), he’d ended up making the graveyard his new lair. Josh was still getting used to the idea of being dead when he wasn’t actually gone. Not completely. And he found the grim ambiance of it all a perfect fit for his new predicament.

He finally reached the miniature city of mausoleums, striding his way across the sea of white marble to enter what had been appointed as his permanent residence. It had grown dark inside thanks to the stormy weather, the only light in the room coming from the candles placed on the small altar and the entryway.

The Washington mausoleum was a big, black block of granite with stained glass windows and arched bronze doors, placed on the outskirts of the cemetery with the ominous Washington supported by roman columns. Posh. Lofty. A bit Gothic. Pretty hard to miss.

What can he say, his family had a dramatic flair. Himself included.

For the past few days, he’d been prowling around the grounds, searching for signs of any other ghosts, lost souls, anything at all. Something that indicated that he wasn’t alone on this other side. And the cemetery seemed like the perfect scenario for wandering spirits, with its eerie atmosphere, and the obscure mist surrounding the graves. Makes perfect sense that it would be haunted. Right?

Yeah, no.

So far there have been no sightings of anything. Zero. Zilch. No other ghosts or spirits. No guardian angel to lead him up. No fiendish demons to lure him down. Not even the Grim Reaper himself. Nothing. He was truly alone on this ghostly plane.

So Josh had been biding his time, lingering close to his crypt. Waiting for any signs or answers because something had to give. Fate, God, Death or whatever the fuck is supposed to be in charge couldn’t just leave him here. Stranded.

The echo of footsteps alerted him to a presence. Josh instantly recognized the gait of the person striding his way. The heels of her shoes clicked against the polished granite floor, drowning the sound of the drizzle beating against the windowpanes.

She hadn’t been to the funeral. Everybody else had gone. Chris. Ash. Mike. Even Emily. But not Sam. So nobody could really blame him for being surprised when she showed up to his family’s mausoleum out of the fucking blue. That she even showed up at all.

She looked so tired. Even in the faint light he could see the smudged purple beneath her eyes, that familiar haunted look brought by a night of nightmares. He wanted to believe he was wrong, that this couldn’t be her. But it was. Josh was surprised to see how much she’d changed in such a short time.

Sam stopped in front of the joint grave beside his and murmured something he didn’t quite catch, before hesitantly moving to his own. She ran a tentative hand over his name engraved on the stone. Josh didn’t like it. It felt so… final. Well, as final as it could get, since apparently death wasn’t as permanent as he would’ve liked it to be.

Two tears slid down her face. Swift and cold. She didn’t wipe them away. “You lied to me.”

He went to stand next to her. “As much as I want to apologize, you can’t hear me,” he offers with a sad smile, looking at her face glowing in the dim light of the candles, her skin still glittering with rain. “So I won’t.”

“I am so angry with you. Furious,” she went on, unaware of the ghost at her side, her eyes desolate. “But for the most part I’m just tired. Tired of racking my brain, of trying to understand why, and I just-” The snag on the words was like a blow to his intangible gut. Sam puts her hands on her face, running them up through her wet hair. “Fuck, I don’t even know what I’m doing here. It’s not like you can hear me or anything.”

“Hey, hey. Don’t.” He cups her face between his hands, trying to wipe away the tears. The corners of his mouth turned down when he couldn’t. “Don’t say that. I’m right here.”

He scans her eyes, her face, looking… What was he looking for? Some sign of recognition? And if so, was he able to handle Sam’s reaction? Would she still be saying the things she’s saying now? Would she recoil at the sight of him? Would she be scared? Or would she be angry?

He drops his hands. If Josh were alive, she would hate him. He knows that much.

But her face didn’t change. Her eyes were still liquid, somber, lost. “You know I was thinking about what I last said to you,” she said, her voice quiet and loud at the same time in the silent mausoleum. “‘Josh, do you have the key for the cable car.’ God, I was so stupid…. All I was thinking about was getting us out of that mountain, you know? I didn’t think about saying goodbye- didn’t think I needed to. You were supposed to come back with us.”

He remembers her urgent expression, clear in the darkness of the mines. The light of her headband shining brightly on his filthy face. Her cold, bloodied hands brushing his palm, her touch brief but soft as he handed the key. Her voice, somehow still composed, even after everything she had gone through, as she and Mike planned their escape while he uselessly stood on the sidelines. The quick glance she gave him before she climbed away.

Sam took a shuddering breath, her voice turned unsteady. “I know you were hurting. That you lost your sisters, that your parents became more distant than they usually were, that you pushed everyone away but you had me… You had me. I only hoped that you saw that through this mess.”

Josh doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know what to say. Not like it would matter anyways. So he only stands frozen in place as she walks out of the mausoleum, the rain still beats outside.

Later that night, he finds himself staring up at Sam’s bedroom window like he had done so many times before. Only this time, the lights were off.

***

Josh stays around her after that.

The days came and went, and Sammy seemed unaware of the time passing. She mostly stayed in her room, not getting out of bed, refusing to eat, not answering any of her texts or calls. What little time she managed to sleep, she awoke gasping and shaking. The liveliness that lived inside her now quiet. A static that made him uneasy. Everything about her was now static.

She was a ghost. Just like him.

Josh has stopped trying to make sense of it. He was dead and he couldn’t do anything about it. Instead, he spends his time trying to communicate with Sam, trying to let her know he was still there. But it’s proving to be difficult, especially when she doesn’t care about anything. She couldn’t hear him, no matter how loud he talked. He tweaks and moves some stuff here and there but she doesn’t pay any mind to it. Josh doesn’t bother to try touching her again, not wanting to see his hands go through her again.

It was hard to see her like this. But Sam was strong. She could survive this. She could survive anything.

Josh didn’t leave- he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. When he needed someone, Sam had been there. Month after month, Sam had been there for him. Even when he pushed everyone away, couldn’t bring himself to care about anything, Sam hadn’t given up on him.

And Josh wouldn’t give up on her.

***

She searches for him in the dead of night. Puzzling, since he was the root of many of her nightmares and yet she wakes up coated in cold sweat, her hand palming what used to be his side of the bed, searching for the familiar heat of his body. Hoping that her nightmares were just nightmares, and not the cold, harsh truth. But she could never forget for long. Inevitably, she relieves her grief all over again when she finds nothing but frigid sheets and emptiness.

Sam adds it up to the fact she had gotten used to sleeping next to him, to the codependency they both developed the last year (even though deep down she knows it was more than that- for her at least). A habit, she tells herself. And habits die hard.

But she can’t help but feel that his presence was still there with her, hiding in the shadows.

***

One afternoon Sam picks up her sketchbook. The one he gave her for her 19th birthday- the last one they celebrated together. She stared at it for a long time. Long enough that Josh was convinced she might throw it out in the trash or even burn it. But to his surprise, she flipped it open, flashing through the pages with enough agility that he couldn’t catch a glimpse of her older drawings, as if she herself didn’t want to see them either, until she settled on a blank sheet.

Mindlessly grabbing a pencil, she started sketching, brows furrowed and hand gliding through the page forming unsure lines that turned into rough curves that turned into confident shapes, transforming into something. Josh looked over her shoulder and-

Huh.

She had captured its cloudy predatory gaze, all of the sharp teeth and sharp claws, with its long limbs curved, the Wendigo looked ready to strike out of the page. Of all the things she could’ve drawn, she drew that. Don’t get him wrong, he was all in for the weird and creepy shit, but Sam? Trying to get her to watch a scary movie was a trial in itself.

Sam doesn’t stop to take it in. No, she passed that page and started doing another sketch. Then another. And another. Before they both knew it, it was already dark out and Sam had spent most of her day doing something other than moping.

***

The creepy drawings became a thing. Not that Josh was complaining. Her coping mechanisms were a hell lot better than his, that’s for sure.

In a matter of days, Sam had turned her room into a makeshift art studio. An easel beside the window. Paintbrushes in glass jars. Charcoal stained finger prints. She’d dropped out of all of her classes and had nothing else to do but paint and draw. Channeling all of her pain, sadness, and frustration into her art. Josh lingered by her side as she poured her heart out, filling white sheets with mountains and darkness, with monsters and death. It was terrifying… he loved it.

Sam had always downplayed her artistic skills, something Josh never understood. Sam was an artist, had always been. He’d seen it from something as simple as her nails, over to the rare occasions she’s shown him some of her drawings, either of a landscape she saw during one of her hikes, or a quick sketch of one of his sisters doing a silly pose (Beth) or staring off with a dreamy look on her face (Hannah). Hell, he was pretty sure she was the one that had helped Hannah design her tattoo. When he’d ask, she’d always shrugged it off with an It’s just a hobby.

Josh knew, even if he was stuck on his own personal hell, that Sam was gonna be alright.

Tags: @xmxisxforxmaybe

Anyone who wishes to be tagged can let me know!

#until dawn #josh washington #sam giddings #jossam #ghost au #ud sam #ud josh #until dawn fanfiction #jossam fanfiction

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queenofbaws · 5 years

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UD: Who ya gonna call? - 8

Chapter: 8/? Chapter title: Seeing things Fic rating: T - Language, blood, general spookiness, cigarettes??? Summary: Sam isn’t getting paid nearly enough for this shit. Or at all, for that matter. (Reminder: This can be found on AO3, if you prefer!) Previous | Next ---

“Not to be too forward or anything, but are you…Sammy, you feelin’ this?”

Hoo boy. Smooth as silk. She rolled her eyes at Josh, looking up at him dully. “What is it that I’m supposed to be feeling, exactly?”

There was no embarrassment, no shame, in his expression as he met her flat stare. Honestly, she was coming to wonder whether he was immune to that shit altogether—it always seemed to roll off of him like water from a duck.

Fucking psych majors.

“This,” he reiterated, one hand gesturing back and forth between the two of them. “This scorching sexual tension we’ve been trying to ignore for the past month or so.”

“Oh, is that what that is?” Sam tsk’ed softly and shook her head. “Well that’s a relief. All this time, I’d been thinking maybe it was the beginning of food poisoning.”

And still, no shame! No, at that, Josh actually laughed. Oh, he was really turning out to be trouble. Capital-T Trouble.

“She does jokes, too! Be still my heart.” He clapped a hand over his chest for emphasis. “Has anyone ever suggested to you, Samantha, that you may very well be the whole package?”

“Just in general? Or in terms of a ghost hunting cohost?” She felt her lips quirk upward, and aw shit. Aw damn. Crap. She was falling for it. She felt herself falling for it.

“Let’s say the former.”

“Oh, then all the time.”

“Modest, too! A truly modern woman in all respects. How about the latter?”

“Mhm.”

That seemed to give him pause…but even so, his grin never flickered. “Wha—wait, who?”

Pretending to check her phone, Sam shrugged noncommittally. “You, for one. Just now, actually.”

“Keep pulling shit like that, and I’m gonna fall in love with you,” he warned, assuming a jokingly grave expression. “And consider that for a sec, okay? ‘Ghosts’ isn’t a great answer to give people when they ask you the big ‘So how did you two meet’ question at dinner parties.” He bent down to the cooler, rummaging around before finding what he was looking for; glass bottles clinked and clanked, and when he stood again, it was with enough for all four of them. “Don’t get me wrong—it’s a perfectly acceptable answer in the social circles my family runs in, but I have this nagging suspicion that maybe, just maybe, the Giddings clan might raise their eyebrows. Take one of these, wouldya?”

“I like how seriously you’re taking this hypothetical.” Sam grabbed two of the bottles, shooting a tight smile at one of the other partygoers before skirting out of the way, hustling out of the overcrowded kitchen with Josh hot on her heels.

The party had been his idea in the first place—Lord knew she hadn’t recognized any of the names he’d rattled off, much less any of the faces around them now—but to be fair, most things they ended up doing as a group were Josh’s idea. He was the idea guy in the same way Chris was the joke guy, or Ash was the planner, or she, herself, was the voice of reason. It was just how things had shaken out. Funny how that shit happened, huh?

So that was what had brought them back to the townhouses, surrounded by other students blowing off post-midterm steam and pre-Thanksgiving break (read: family time) panic, the music too loud, nothing but streaks of grease left in the pizza boxes on the stove, the booze plentiful but lukewarm. Every time they popped inside for drinks, Sam nervously took to checking faces from the corner of her eye, wondering what she’d say if they bumped into Emily or Jessica, or worse, both.

“Hypothetical? What’s hypothetical here? We’re young, we’re hot, we’ve got this fantastic banter thing going on…”

“Oh please. What banter?”

“‘What banter?’” He teased, pitching his voice up into a piss-poor imitation of her own. “As if you don’t know…”

“Can’t say I do.”

“Uh huh. Okay, Sammy.” She watched him flick a casual wave to someone she didn’t recognize, then his gaze was back on her. “Gotta hand it to you, though—when you joined up, I knew the whole All-American girl-next-door thing was gonna do wonders for the show, but this will-we-won’t-we shtick?” He raised his free hand to his mouth, loudly kissing the tips of his fingers like a chef might. “Bee-you-tiful. Couldn’t have planned it better myself.”

At that, she had to roll her eyes. “There’s no will-we-won’t-we shtick.” She raised her eyebrows in a silent dare…then stopped. Oh shit. Fuck! This was the banter he was talking about, wasn’t it? Goddammit.

Her realization wasn’t lost on him; Josh snickered, leaning his shoulder against the jamb of the sliding glass door, angling himself more fully towards her. “Methinks the lady doth protest too much…”

“Yeah? Well methinks the gentleman doth think too highly of himself.”

“Ow? Ow. This is how you treat your onscreen love interest? Remind me to never let you sign up for any community theater productions—Juliet’s not supposed to call Romeo a fuckboy. Not to his face, anyway.”

“To be fair, I’m pretttty sure I didn’t call you a fuckboy.”

“To be fair, I’m pretttty sure you implied it.”

Sam couldn’t hold back anymore. She snorted a laugh, doing her best to ignore the self-satisfied look it put on Josh’s face.

He was right…that was the worst part. He was right.

True enough, she hadn’t been totally privy to their old numbers—which was really just a nice way of saying she didn’t give a shit—but according to a mystified Chris, their little ghost hunting venture had seen serious improvement since she’d joined. Maybe they had just needed some new blood, an interviewer who didn’t talk with Josh’s low, ominous tones, or a feminine face that didn’t stare into space with dark-rimmed raccoon eyes as often as Ash did…then again, she’d broken the number one rule of the internet and checked the comments once…or twice…

So she knew that Josh had a point. Ghosts were fun and all, but ghosts being tracked down by charming, funny, attractive friends with (an admittedly considerable amount of) chemistry? Apparently that was the secret ingredient. Now, they still hadn’t reached viral status, and honestly Sam doubted they ever would, but…

But, but, but.

If she was silent for too long, he’d start gloating, and she couldn’t have that. “Y’know, if that’s all this is about, you really don’t need me.”

“Hmm?”

“If you’re saying that like, sexual tension is what the CREEPs need to be the next big thing, I’m sort of irrelevant.”

Josh gave her a look that she had long-since become acquainted with: He suspected she had something locked and loaded and ready to go. Something good. “Oh?”

“Mhm, you guys don’t need me for that.”

“Do we not?”

“Nah…you already have Chris and Ash.”

His face fell then, something in his eyes going flat as old soda. “Sam,” he said slowly, almost plaintively. “I need you to just…look at them…” He turned her around, guiding her until she was directly in view of the other two, both of whom were still obliviously going about their conversation at the flimsy table on the deck outside, far from the rest of the party, lit only by the shoddy string of lights hanging between the gutters and a nearby tree. There was a foreign weight on her shoulder, and when she turned, she could see in her periphery that Josh had set his chin on it from behind. “Look at them,” he said again, waving a hand just as Chris leaned a bit too far back in his chair.

Sam could see what was about to happen in her mind’s eye, but there was no stopping it. The event had already been set into motion.

“Now, you explain to me what it is about those dweebs that somehow reads ‘sexual tension’ to you.”

“I—”

Bang!

Even through the sliding door, the sound was…jarring. They watched Ashley try and help Chris up from the ground. It wasn’t exactly an easy rescue, by the looks of it. Whatever answer she’d been planning flew out the window as she watched them scramble. “Well. Uh…hmm.”

“Yeah.”

“When you put it that way…”

“Uh huh.”

“I guess it’s a slightly more persuasive argument than I originally gave it credit for.”

“You don’t say.”

She laughed to herself, trying to crane her neck in such a way that she could meet Josh’s gaze. “So maybe you have a point. Maybe we should keep—” In much the same way he had, she gestured between the two of them, “—this up.”

“Makes for good tv. You just gotta promise you’re not gonna fall in love with me. This is a business arrangement, after all.”

“Yeah. Don’t worry. That’s not gonna be a problem.”

He groaned loudly, acting as though she’d asked him to do something unspeakable. “That’s exactly what people say before they fall madly in love, Sammy! You’re tempting the fates! Dangerous. Very dangerous!”

Sam rolled her eyes, maneuvering the sliding door with the hand not holding their drinks. “I’ll take my chances…” she said in a chipper singsong.

Outside, the night sky was dimly lit with the threat of snow, the air not quite cold enough to make that threat believable. Chris had gotten himself back into his chair, it seemed, and Ashley’s expression was still one of tired acceptance as they paused mid-conversation, turning to welcome them back.

“What, you guys get lost or something?” Chris took one of the bottles Sam held out, cracking it open with one practiced twist. “Fall into a wormhole along the way?”

“Actually yeah, it was super weird…” Sam slid into her seat again, setting the other bottle (and her phone) onto the table. “It took us to this dimension where—and follow me on this one, I know it’s gonna sound farfetched—your dumbass forgot how gravity works, and you took a real tumble.”

He blinked, then groaned when realization hit, averting his gaze as he tipped the bottle to his mouth. When Ashley giggled, his eyes slid to hers, betrayal at once obvious and wordless. She just laughed harder.

“Uh oh, someone’s got your number, Cochise.” A screech as Josh pulled his chair back from the table, shoving one of the bottles across the glass to Ashley. “Someone remind me what we were talking about? Something about uh…” he patted one side of his jacket, then the other, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and tapping one out, “…the history of…something or another?”

Sam watched with silent, palpable interest as Ashley held her hand out in a clear ‘gimme’ gesture, only for Chris to reach over and lower her hand with his own. She saw Ash scrunch her face in irritation, but looked away just in time to catch Chris’s eyes, fixing him with a knowing sort of half-smirk. There was some kind of joke there, something about how her own personal game of ‘Guess the Major’ was a hundred times easier if you broke out a pack of smokes…eh, she wasn’t the joke guy, though, so she let it pass.

Josh lit his cigarette, face squinched with something like amusement as he looked between the three of them. “Can’t tell you guys how absolutely tickled I am that now there are three of you mooks around to do the…” he gestured broadly, “…secret nonverbal conversation crap. Seriously. Love it. Love it! Can’t get enough.”

“Psychologist’s dream, huh?” Sam joked.

“What is it with you and my people, Sammy? Let’s get to the root of those feelings.”

“Yeah, no thanks. I’ll pass.”

Ashley cleared her throat after having a sip of her drink. “Please, God, no. We were talking about—” Though the yard of the townhouse was almost perfectly silent, there was a moment where the gauzy, distant quality of the music and voices intensified from indoors, growing louder and clearer before fading out again. Her eyes shot up over Josh’s shoulder at the sound of a crisp click from the direction of the sliding door, and Sam saw her expression change. “—Conrad.”

“Uh…that’s definitely not what we were talking about. Trust me, I’d remember if we—” Chris’s snickering trailed off a second later. His glasses gleamed for a moment, the string of overhead lights catching on the lenses. “Well, well, well! Look what the cat coughed up.”

Even before he turned around, Josh was rolling his eyes, plastering on a performative scowl. “Bishop,” he drawled, speaking loudly and clearly enough to be heard all the way across the yard. “You better have my fifty bucks, you sunovabitch.”

“You’re not getting jackshit from me, man, I dunno how many times I have to tell you that.” The grass, dead and brown, crunched tellingly, tattling the newcomer’s exact position as he made his way to their table. “I’d rather upend my wallet into my aunt’s koi pond than have to lie awake at night thinking about you spending my money.” He dropped himself into the only open chair left, filling the space between Chris and Josh.

Ah. So this was the illustrious Conrad. He was about what she’d expected, honestly. Sam guessed he could be called handsome…in the way frat boys could be handsome, at least, with bright eyes and a smarmy grin, his well-kept hair hinting that, were he to let it get any longer, it would curl. From her position, she could just barely see that, yup, uh huh, oh yeah…he was wearing shorts even though it was only about forty-some degrees out.

One of those guys.

He stretched out in his seat, positively radiating the impenetrable confidence of someone who believed themselves the most interesting person in the room. It almost gave off heat. “‘Sup, creepazoids? Guess they just invite anyone to these shindigs nowadays.” There was a moment where he stopped, posture shifting minutely, and Sam realized he was only then noticing her. “New girl!” Conrad gave her a friendly nod and a gentlemanly tip of his bottle. “Hey, level with me—“ he set his arms onto the table, slouching over them and narrowing his eyes, “—how much did these dweebs have to pay you to get you to join the Scooby Doo act? I hope to Christ they’re at least offering you dental benefits.”

She clucked her tongue, shoulders popping up into a shrug. “Well, it’s funny you’d ask…I haven’t been paid anything yet…but I was promised, oh what was it…fifty dollars?” Sam looked to Josh as though asking for confirmation. He snickered, ashing his cigarette with a proud little flourish; she turned back to Conrad, smiling sweetly. “They keep telling me it’ll be any day now, though, so fingers crossed.”

“Oh Jesus,” Conrad groaned, sliding a hand down the side of his face. “Glad you’ve found another one of your kind.” Seemingly pleased with his entrance, he finally acknowledged the other two, grinning fetchingly across the table. “Ash.”

“Hi Connie,” she sighed, sounding more exasperated than downright putout. It was the tone of the girl who always found herself stuck sitting next to the class clown, no matter how many times she got up and changed her seat. Considering there were now three clowns crowded around the table, Sam thought it fit a smidge too well.

“Chris.”

In a mocking mimicry of how Ashley had said it, Chris parroted, “Hi Connie.”

“Dude. C’mon.”

“What? Suddenly I’m not on nickname terms? Rude, bro, très rude.”

Conrad shook his head and spread his hands like he was about to give a lecture. “How’d you feel if I started going around calling you Cochise?”

There was a beat…and then Chris grimaced. “Eugh. Okay. Point taken. Comment retracted.”

“Uh huh.”

Scooting closer to Josh, Sam lowered her voice to ask, “Is, uh, this how it always goes?”

“You got no fuckin’ idea.” He let out a loud breath, pivoting towards Conrad again. “Y’know, I don’t remember inviting you to sit with us.”

He feigned a hurt frown even as he glanced down, plucking at his shirt from under the unzipped flaps of his jacket. “Shit, is it Wednesday already? And look at me, not wearing pink. My b, man, super gauche of me, I know.”

“Ohoho! Can’t pay his debts, but he can crack wise! Is that what they teach you at the country club?”

Sam looked away from the guys, letting their bickering turn to gibberish in her ears.

Ashley caught her eyes, the corners of her mouth tucking inwards. “Constant,” she said, doing nothing to lower or mask her voice, instead taking a drink and allowing her attention to drift towards Conrad and Josh. Their obliviousness didn’t seem to surprise her. “It’s like they rehearse it. Sometimes I think they really do.”

With a couple tiny hops, Sam moved her chair closer to Ash’s, dragging her phone with her a moment later. “So are they like, actually friends, or…?”

Chris laughed into his bottle, joining them by moving his chair as well. Unbeknownst to the other two, they’d subtly formed their own group on that side of the table; it couldn’t have been more obvious if they’d drawn a literal line across the table, and still, they were so caught up in their back-and-forth that they went perfectly unaware. “Unfortunately for everyone involved, yeah, they’re definitely buds. Two chaotic neutral dumbasses.”

“Unfortunately,” Ashley repeated with a curt nod.

Sam waved towards them. “Then why…?”

“My theory? It’s some kind of like, elaborate mating ritual. They need to just make out and get it over with, already. Move past the tension.”

“Their kids would be so ugly.” Setting his bottle onto the table, Chris leaned towards her. “Nah, it’s just this stupid game they play when other people are watching. You get used to it.”

Of course.

She could tell he wanted her to ask, wanted her to frown, wanted her to beg for clarification…and since she knew resisting was futile, Sam folded her arms and held back a laugh. “Okay, okay, I’ll bite. What game would this be, exactly?”

As she watched, Chris pantomimed reaching up and pulling something down from over his head, cupping his left hand in front of his face as though covering a cough. He clicked his tongue twice, and then, in a ridiculously muffled impression of a sporting event announcer (or a pilot trying to talk to their passengers…Sam really couldn’t tell which), he crooned out, “Laaadies and gentlemen! It’s time for another round of America’s faaavorite pastime…Rich! Kids! Fiiiiighting!”

Laughing, Sam dropped her chin into her hands. “Hey, do me a favor? Say something like ‘Please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times.’”

He ignored her. “In this corner…he likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain! His daddy’s an investment banker accused of insider trading, his mama’s a real estate phenom with no fewer than four—count ‘em, four—billboards in town…ladies, grab your Plan B, because he’s the one in the Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts...Conraaaaad Bishop!” Chris turned away from his imaginary mic long enough to cheer before going right back.

There was a hand on her knee, and when Sam turned, she saw Ashley shaking her head. “Don’t laugh. It only encourages him.”

It didn’t seem like Chris needed encouragement, in all honesty.

“And in this corner…the man of a thousand impressions that all sort of sound the same! He’s heir apparent to Hollywood’s bloodiest horror empire! The Prince of Panic, the Prodigal Son of Spookiness, the smooth-talking serial bullshit artist…you know him, you love him, you really wish he’d stop talking about NBC’s Hannibal and the shit he learned in Intro Psych…Joshuaaaaa Washington!”

At the sound of his name, Josh finally looked over to them, confusion crossing his features when he realized how far away they’d all crept. “This a mutiny?”

“We were just trying to get a better view of the pissing match.” Sam smirked, pulling her legs up onto the chair to make herself more comfortable.

“Wanted to get out of the Splash Zone, more like…” Chuckling, Chris nudged Ashley with his elbow, waggling his eyebrows in an attempt to get her to laugh with him. She just shot him a long-suffering grimace and sighed through her nose.

“It occurs to me…” There was a soft but familiar sound from under the table, and Sam spotted Conrad bouncing his leg energetically, “This really isn’t the kinda first impression I wanted to make on the new girl, creep squad. I’m getting the vibe that you’re trying to make me look like a tool.”

Ashley muttered something so quietly that Sam only barely heard it: “You think we’re trying?”

She had to chomp down on the inside of her cheek o stop herself from laughing out loud; Ashley’s eyes zipped to hers, and they shared a secretive grin. “You don’t have to worry about that. I’ve already heard all about you.” Sam let her voice trail off ominously, quirking a brow. Then she smiled, twiddling her fingers. “I’m Sam, just FYI. New Girl’s only my stage name.”

“Oh shit, you’re quick!” Smirking, he leered at Josh, “Watch out, buddy-boy, this one’s gonna sniff through your bullshit in about point-five seconds. Gonna run you out of town. Good luck with that.”

“Eat me, dude.”

“Appreciate the offer, but you’re so not my type.”

“Not to be ‘that guy,’” Ashley began, raising her voice to be heard over them. “But we were kinda talking about important stuff before you came sauntering over—”

One side of his mouth pulled tighter, his lopsided smirk boasting a very endearing, very dangerous, dimple. “Sauntering? Not strutting?”

She flapped her hand like a sock puppet, the gesture getting him to stop talking, though doing nothing to staunch his chuckling. “So if we could get back to that, well that would just be great.”

Conrad nodded sagely, swirling the contents of his bottle. Sam saw his face change, becoming saccharine, innocent. She preemptively prepared herself for—what else—something stupid. “Important stuff, you said?”

“Yeah.”

“Like…super important stuff?”

“Extremely.”

“Business-type stuff, I’d imagine?”

“Yes, Conrad, business-type stuff.”

“Sooo…ghosts.” He glanced up from the table, spurred on by Ashley’s silence. “Ah. Well hey! It’s your lucky day, creepy crawlies! Because that’s exactly why I’m here! See, I spotted you guys out here, just absolutely haunting this yard like a bunch of socially stunted gargoyles, and as soon as I saw you, I thought to myself ‘What luck!’ It’s serendipitous, really, shit like this doesn’t line up every da—”

Josh went limp in his seat, head lolling so far back on his shoulders that he nearly took on the appearance of a contortionist. Or a pretzel. “Oh my God, get on with it!”

“So here’s the thing…” Conrad leaned into the center of their little group, tipping his beer towards Josh in a way that somehow managed to feel both conspiratorial and mocking. “Mom’s got this sick property a couple counties over. Can’t move it.” He let that tidbit dangle, eyebrows slanting upwards. When no one immediately took his bait, he raised the bottle to his mouth, murmuring, “Ask me why,” before taking a drink that looked way too casual to actually be casual.

Still, no one said anything.

Sam glanced to the others and had to laugh when she saw them all wearing the same suspicious expression. She got the feeling that this wasn’t the first (or second…or tenth…) time they’d had this kind of conversation.

She dropped her hands onto her lap, shaking her head as she turned to Conrad. “Fine,” she sighed, “Why can’t she sell it?”

The rest of them groaned in eerie unison. Now, she never would’ve said it to their faces, but in that moment they had managed to sound spookier than anything they’d ever uploaded to YouTube.

“Uh huh. Shut it. You guys are gonna be singing my praises to the very heavens themselves when you hear this shit.” He hunkered down again, dimples deepening with each word. “Get this…the land used to be a fucking gallows in the old days, right? Where people were executed and shit…”

“And now it’s a house,” Ashley said flatly with her hand against her cheek. “Really.”

“Really. You know how it goes, the place got razed, they started putting in all these huge-ass houses for the rich SOBs who didn’t care about the loss of human life, blah blah blah…” Conrad flapped his fingers dismissively. “But no, see, according to Mom’s people, back in like, the 60’s, a new family moved in, went to renovate the basement, and they found this bricked-over room down in the old wine cellar—”

Ashley rolled her eyes so hard it was audible. “Let me guess. And then they found a body. Totally mummified. Probably because there wasn’t any airflow through the bricks.”

He stopped abruptly, mouth open in a comical shape that couldn’t quite decide whether it was a grin or a grimace. “I—shit, what? You’ve already heard about—”

“You’re describing The Cask of Amontillado, oh my God.”

The dimples disappeared. “No I’m not! This is real!”

Across from him, Josh let out of a bark of laughter so intense that Sam was worried he might’ve dislodged one of his lungs. “Christ, man, are you fucking—”

“This place has had like twenty different owners in the past fifty years! No one wants to be there because weird shit keeps happening!” All at once the charming salesman was gone, replaced by a petulant kid; his and Josh’s relationship made sudden, perfect sense. Conrad turned back to Sam, probably because she was the only one of the four who wasn’t actively laughing in his face. Yet. “It’s totally legit! The stories, I mean. Not the like…” he wiggled his fingers and widened his eyes, scoffing as he said, “…ghoulies coming out to play hopscotch with the kids or whatever.”

“There’s no way that’s a real story.” It was the most Sam had heard Ashley say to anyone who wasn’t one of their ragtag team. Again, she had that same feeling—these guys had had this conversation before. A few times. “People don’t just find mummies in their basements.”

“Sure they do!”

“Connie.”

“There’s a reason people hate basements and attics, Ash, and that reason is sometimes you find bodies in them.”

There were not words enough in the English language to describe Ashley’s sigh.

“Here’s what I’m saying.” Conrad certainly wasn’t the storyteller Josh was, but as he mounted his second approach, it was very clear how deadly he would be as a pitchman.

God help them all the day he and Josh decided to put their differences aside and team up to use their powers for evil.

“I can get you the keys to a purportedly crazy-haunted mansion. That no one can sell. That’s been through a stupid number of owners. Where there’s at least a legend of a crawlspace mummy. And, as long as you don’t go listing off the address or straightup name-drop my mom’s agency, I can guaran-goddamn-fucking-tee you get all the time, space, and B-roll you could ever ask for.” Wisely, he’d positioned himself more towards Josh as he began listing shit off on his fingers. “You want full access? All floors? Done. You want to scope the property itself? Poke through the dirt for…I don’t know, bone shards or whatever? Done. You want to do an overnight without worrying about the cops getting called? Done. All of this…” he spread his arms out wide, a magnanimous king to his supplicants, “I will give to you. Free of charge.”

Sam didn’t need to look at the others to know they weren’t terribly impressed—she, herself, could hear something in his voice she didn’t totally like. Something bright but sticky, waving just over their heads like an anglerfish’s lure. His self-assured grin did not help matters.

Josh took a long, thoughtful pull off his cigarette, keeping his eyes on Conrad even as he turned his head to exhale. “But…” he said after a beat, ever the businessman.

“But nothing. I’m simply extending an offer to you, my friends, to help in your burgeoning paranormal busin—”

“But…” Josh said again.

And then they were in an old-timey standoff: Conrad leaning forward expectantly, Josh leaning back patiently, both with their eyebrows raised and mouths set in neutral slashes. One of Josh’s feet tapped in time with the muted beat of the music coming from inside; Conrad’s fingers drummed against the neck of his beer bottle. No one would’ve been shocked if, in that moment, a tumbleweed blew across their table.

The cheap plastic of Chris’s chair squeaked when he bent himself towards Ash, whispering “Rich! Kids! Fighting!” loudly enough for Sam to hear…at least until Ashley pressed a finger to his mouth to shut him up.

It was hard to say what did it, but the staring contest broke. Conrad let out a defeated groan, head rolling down onto his chest for a moment. “But…” he ceded, lifting his head in time to watch Josh take another drag, that time through a pointed smirk, “I have two itty bitty conditions.”

“Shock of shocks.” Josh chuckled. His eyes flicked to Sam’s. “Rule numero uno when it comes to dealing with the Conman, over here? Check that fine print right upfront.” He twiddled his fingers to urge him on. “Out with it, ya goddamn goon…”

He didn’t lodge any protest, instead sticking his index finger up. “One. I need your assistance spooking a certain someone. At a later date, of course. No rush on that one.”

Josh’s shoulders rose and fell once.

Conrad put up a second finger. “Two.” His eyes narrowed. “I want in.”

“No.”

“I—”

“No.”

He sat straighter in his seat, bringing his arms up in something that pretended to be defeat, “Fine! Cool! If you don’t want this sick, creepy-ass mansion full of dusty old paintings and moldy bed sheets…just…chock-full of bad juju and opportunities to get clicks, then by all means…”

Josh watched him silently. Then, heaving a sigh, he stamped his cigarette out on the table’s ashtray. “Team meeting. Plug your ears and hum or something, Connie.”

“Oh, of course, of course! I know how it goes…”

With the exception of Conrad, they all turned around in their seats (after a moment of confusion on Sam’s part—for the first time ever, it occurred to her that she was an actual part of the team, not just the newbie looking in from the outside). Chris took it upon himself to hop out of his chair, half-bending, half-squatting on the lawn to turn their impromptu meeting into a huddle.

“So?” Josh asked.

Ashley was the first to speak up. “We do need more locations…and I mean…” She bit down on her lower lip, shaking her head in resignation; she didn’t look particularly happy to say whatever it was. “If you still wanna do the Canada thing—”

“I do.”

Sam frowned, hissing “What Canada thing?” to Chris, who merely waved her off.

“—then this could be a good lead-up to it. An old mansion with a past?” Ashley shrugged, “It’s gonna be a lot of research, I’m sure, because Conrad never knows what he’s talking about—”

There was a not-so-distant “Hey!” followed by Josh loudly stating, “I don’t hear you humming, Bishop!”

“—and I’m positive I’ll actually have to write some kind of narrative line for us to follow, which also sucks, but…I dunno.” Shrugging, she looked to the rest of them. “I said my piece, what do you guys think?”

She leaned in closer to them, raising her voice just slightly. “What Canada thing?”

“It’s not important,” Josh said, waving her off in much the same way Chris had.

Great. She turned to Ashley, eyes plaintive. “Canada thing?”

Above them, one, two, three of the lights strung up popped and went out, showering the whole table with warm shards of glass.

“Fuck!”

“Holy shit!”

The five of them shielded their eyes, looking up to the string of lights, brushing the pieces of glass out of their hair, and just generally freaking out.

“Jesus please-us,” Ashley muttered, tentatively brushing her fingers through her hair. “What was that?” And then, answering her own question, she mumbled, “Must be too cold out here or something…sheesh!”

As though in response, there was another pop! They all jumped again, but it hadn’t been one of the bulbs right over them, so the only thing that followed was the delicate tinkling of glass hitting the hard ground.

Conrad pointed upwards while he had their attention, assuming a blank expression (though there was an obvious shit-eating grin glimmering in those big, blue eyes of his). “Hey, I dunno about you guys, but that sure feels like paranormal activity to me!”

“Shut up, man.”

“The spirits have spoken! They want you to take me up on this sweet, sweet offer…”

They turned back into their huddle, still occasionally picking tiny pieces of glass from themselves.

“If his idea of ‘getting in on this’ is interviews,” Chris began, clearly still shaken, if the way his eyes kept flicking upwards was anything to go by, “And you know it is, then we’re gonna have to blur his face and mod his voice so no one places the house. You get that, right? If he’s really worried about people putting two and two together and figuring out his mom’s the one selling it, then that’s just how it’s gonna have to be.” He looked to the three of them and rolled his eyes when they seemed unmoved. “That’s so much work! For me! Personally! Doesn’t that count for anything?”

“Couldn’t we just give him a fake name or something? The fuck do we care if it fucks with Mommy’s sales commission? If he signs the waivers and shit…”

Oh it was weird realizing her opinion mattered here. Sam crossed her arms and leaned in closer to the others. “I’d like to point out that you guys have no problem waltzing through places where people have been murdered, but when it comes to spending time with other living human beings, you need to weigh the pros and cons.”

“Think you meant the ‘pros and Con…rads.’”

“No I didn’t, Chris, and you know I didn’t.”

Josh let out another grumble before kneading at one of his temples. “Mk. Final verdicts, go.”

“I say yes,” Ashley said. “But he needs to get me all the info he has like…ASAP.”

“I also say yes.” Sam turned her eyes towards the stars, doing very little to hide her laughter. The situation was so dumb. Just like all situations she seemed to find herself getting into when the CREEPs were involved. “I also also want to go on the record as saying you guys are idiots and this so did not require a meeting…”

Chris released an unnecessarily mournful breath. “If I don’t have to blur him, then sure. Fine. Whatever. Why not. But I’m absolutely not rigging him with any blood packs, so—”

“All right, all right…” Swiveling around in his seat again, Josh looked to Conrad, keeping his face as expressionless as he could, as though reminding him who held the cards. “We have stipulations.”

“I’m sure you do. You always do.”

They held each other’s gaze for another second and then Josh reached over the table, holding his fist out. “This better be good as shit, Connie.”

Grinning that exuberantly boyish grin again, Conrad knocked his knuckles against Josh’s. “Have I ever let you down before, J-man? Please. I’ll have my people call your people and we can get this all squared away! Trust me…you’re gonna love this.”

#until dawn #sam giddings #josh washington #chris hartley #ashley brown #my fanfiction

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lewd4yaoi · 6 years

Text

Numbers Don’t Lie...

Readers~read if you would like clarification; if you don’t~~It’s completely understandable!

**Asks are disabled...if you feel like commenting...go...to...the...(comment section)**

Don’t say you used something to verify...then actually turns out you didn’t...then basically say you really don’t use it like that.... when you get caught in your lie...

**P.S. AFTER I wrote an email...I waited 2 days, no response. EVEN THOUGH I saw the person I emailed responding actively to message on their posts on their blog....sooooo that’s why I wrote on their posts....since old fashioned email wasn’t enough. Each post? Yes, so it wouldn’t be “overlooked” since...they accidentally overlook things it seems....**

Anyway,

We aren’t a very new group anymore (More than 6 months less; than 1 year)...but we’re not seasoned Veterans. But to our about 1,700 followers...you all know~~my group is very chill. We don’t engage in drama, and we mostly stick to ourselves & just talk you all beautiful lewd readers...

That’s why it’s saddened me that we have become embroiled into this nonsense of “story stealing.” We aren’t the fastest~~but we pour our time, effort, & money into this group on a constant basis. & We don’t pick stories at random; there’s a reason. So it’s not about “fighting” over a story, a lot of groups pick specific stories and cherish them & personally want to bring them to you.

General rule of thumb is:

Ongoing projects: Story with no updates in over 6 months is considered abandoned.

Future projects: Over a year with no action, and it’s considered abandoned.

Kakkou no Yume fell under neither of these~~

I’m not going to start releasing one chapter from each story so that’s it’s “out there as ours”...you’d think simple respect & camaraderie would be enough...

WELP...this group “supposedly” didn’t know we had Kakkou no Yume on our “futures” and...then proceeded to twist facts. Unfortunately (for them), they don’t know I’m a fact checker, and I click clack patty whacked those facts.

#ScreenShotIt #SoYouKnowItsReal (lol)

I don’t know if anyone has a cure for how someone can get their foot out of their mouth? Please send the Rx prescription to Ikeman Scans...I’ll pay for the fees & delivery!

Oh...& glasses; i’ll pay for glasses as well. No need for contacts because it’ll be hard to put them in while that foot is still lodged in that mouth. :)

Hmmmm...that says...errrmmm...January 9th, 2018? Unless now February or May come before January now?

Scanlator Sheet (click link): Lewd4Yaoi Scans: Kakkou no Yume~January 9th, 2018.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1vFwaka6wz8zXqoPvJm1OPQYwOUrh7w3DnSmawdYylkg/edit#gid=0

>>January 9th 2018 trumps February 25th...though...

>>>But I guess being a little shit trumps it all...lolol.

__________

So that you readers aren’t left in the dark, please see below.

Emails initially sent on Monday, May 7th & 8th.

No response for a couple of days~~~

>>So I wrote on the release comments...it seemed to get their attention more quickly than politely writing an email.<<

Y’all get the gist....

The response...will tickle you all. Let’s play a game ~ & let’s count how many contradictions they’re writing.

LOL....where she contradicts herself...brace yourselves...

Are you all ready for a fact check? I am!

DUN...DUN...DUN....!!!

If you’re going to be an asshole...be a proud asshole.

Don’t be a lying asshole. That’s just tacky.

Honestly, y’all I’m over it.

What’s done is done.

You all should go read Kakkou no Yume though; an ugly personality doesn’t make a story not beautiful anymore!! Check it out on mangago or myreadingmanga & Kyyyaaaa!!!

Warmest Regards,

Ryoko Nicole

Group Leader

May thee Lewdness be with, and forever in your favor….

~Lewd4Yaoi Scans~

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boopsterliv · 2 years

Note

Hackeratom + Newborn #12

(Hi, I’m Liv, I love taking seemingly sweet prompts and adding on serious emotional conversations between characters. Anyways, this prompt sparked a lot of inspiration! I decided that switching between Zari and Ray wasn’t enough and now Charlie gets her own passage! Gotta love an emotional rollercoaster. Line up everybody! Seriously though, thank you for the prompt. Hackeratom has been so fun to write.

Instead of adding it on my OTPs fic, I’ve decided to make an entirely separate series for fankid fics. It helps me stay less cluttered and more organized with my writing prompt stuff. AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38870871 Series Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2898957)

"This fucking sucks!" Zari flopped down on the couch with a dramatic, yet very reasonable, groan. Pregnancy was exciting, and she was more than happy to be having kids with her husband. But it seriously hurt. Especially when she found out she was having twins. Twins!

"Zari, please remain calm." Gideon looked at the medbay screens analytically. She insisted on performing the exams in her robotic body instead of staying hooked up to the ship, which Zari had no problem with. Gideon was one of her best friends, considering how many nights Zari spent in the engineering room talking to her.

“Ugh, I can’t wait to go into labor. I want my babies and I want to stop feeling like shit every time I wake up.” Gideon snorted but smiled at the comment. Zari tapped the arm of the medbay chair as her friend/obstetrician turned back to look at her.

“Everything is healthy and as it should be. I’ll try to find you more remedies for your pain.” As she helped Zari up, Gideon couldn’t help but sigh. “You know, the last time I was overseeing a woman’s pregnancy was with Mrs. Hunter.”

Zari just blinked, completely blanking on a proper response. “Oh.”

But then, Gideon smiled as charmingly as ever. “It’s been quite a long time. I am... more excited now than I was before. New life is something I’ve come to understand since gaining a body. And assisting my team when they have their own offspring is an honor to me.”

“... Gid, have I ever told you that you’re sweet? You should show off that wholesome, caring side more often.”

Gideon mimed gagging, although was clearly amused. “And ruin my reputation? Like hell I’d do that! Thanks for the suggestion, though, love.”

Zari laughed; the pain forgotten for the moment. She then remembered her... babies. “It’s... It’s easy to say I want to go into labor, but Gid... do you think I’ll be a good mom? I’ve spent a lot of my life running from the government and hacking. I’m a superhero. I... I’m nervous. I don’t wanna let them down. Or Ray.”

Silence filled the room for a moment, before Gideon gently took Zari’s arms and sighed. “Zari, you’re one of the strongest people I have come across. And I’ve met many strong people. You’re compassionate and protective. I believe in you. So does Ray and everyone else. You’ll have us to help you along the way if you need it. But, if it makes you feel better, you have a one hundred percent chance of being an incredible mother.”

She just laughed for a second, tears stinging her eyes a little. “Thanks Gideon. I really appreciate it.”

---

Ray was freaking out. Like, a lot. Of course, they had all had their doubts about delivering a baby, let alone two, in the medbay. But Gideon was confident in her abilities. Plus, with Caitlin Snow being called in to assist her, she was confident the labor would be fine.

Of course, that all ended when they hit hour nine and the babies still weren’t out. Zari was covered in sweat and screaming (he couldn’t feel his hand from how tight she was squeezing it). Caitlin and Gideon had both decided to send Ray out onto the bridge for a minute to give an update while they prepared a c-section in case nothing changed soon.

“How is she?” Charlie immediately asked.

“Uh... in pain. A lot of pain. But the docs have got it handled!” He was jittery, but no one was willing to call him out on it. “I’m going to head back in. I’ll come out when the babies are here.”

An uproar started between the crew about who would hold the babies first and what kind of gifts they’d get for the little ones. The noise and faux arguing kept them busy. Ray faintly smiled and walked back silently, heart pounding, but when he reached the medbay doors he finally heard the footsteps behind him. He turned around to see Leonard standing there, hands in his pockets and looking unusually out of his element.

“... Is something wrong, Snart?”

He got his bravado back and smirked a little. “Not with me. I saw how you were back there.”

Ray chuckled. “Well, fatherhood is pretty big. I want what’s best for the kids. I’m just... nervous, that’s all. I mean, I could turn out to be horrible even if I do my best. I don’t want to let them or Zari down.”

Leonard stood still for a moment before taking a deep breath. “Raymond, believe it or not I actually view you as a very close friend. Don’t tell anyone, I will deny it.” Ray snorted. “I know a thing or two about bad dads. I know you know about how shitty my old man was. And I don’t need to be Gideon to calculate how good of a father you’ll be.”

Ray was already close to tearing up (he was an emotional person, okay?), but held the tears in as Snart took another deep breath before he continued. “Look, you’re an incredibly, for lack of a better term, loving person. No matter who on the team snaps at you or ignores you all you do is respond with compliments and forgiveness. If I thought you weren’t going to be a good father, you would end up a cold case that won’t be solved for the rest of time.”

He knew not to take offense to that or be afraid. Snart wasn’t threatening him, not really. He was making a point, and Ray saw it. He had worked with Captain Cold long enough to somehow understand the morbid statements he threw out didn’t mean he wanted him dead.

“Point is,” Leonard continued, “you’re a good human being. You’ll be fine, trust me. I... respect you Raymond. More than you’d probably think. Those kids are going to look up to you and Zari. Two badasses who are compassionate to everyone and are protective of their family. You’re going to be the best father, and I can only hope that when Sara and I have kids that I’ll be half the man you are.”

Okay, now Ray was crying. He tried going for a hug, but Leonard just held up his hand. “No.”

“Fine, fine.” He laughed and smiled while wiping his tears. “Thanks, Snart. That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Don’t get used to it.” There was the classic Cold response. Ray nodded before turning back to the door. Before he went in, he looked over his shoulder.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Leonard. You’ll be an amazing father one day.”

He then went into the medbay, not noticing Leonard’s gentler and more thoughtful smile in response to his words.

---

Charlie was about ready to scream. Zari was in pain, her best friend was in pain, and all she could do was wait. Oh, this was unbearable. Lenny came back and sat down, whispering to Sara about something. But that wasn’t important right now! What’s important is that her bloody friend is going through a painful and lifechanging experience and she was trying not to think about the pain part.

Back in her more fearful godhood days, Charlie had given children to the humans who wanted them. Now that those days were over and she was in her ‘party phase’ (as she liked to call it), she couldn’t control whether or not everything worked out okay. It wracked her with anxiety and she bit her nails, a nervous habit that didn’t really hurt her considering a shapeshifter could always grow them back.

Just then, as if the man was somehow psychic, Ray Palmer came running into the room. He stopped and panting, a wide grin on his face and tears rolling down his cheeks. “They’re here!”

Charlie hopped up, the first one to run to the Medbay, leaving Ray in the dust. She ran through the open door. “Where’s the kiddos?!”

Zari laughed tiredly, exhausted and crying but looking good for the most part, sitting up and looking at them. Next to her bed were two bassinettes, each with a little baby inside. “Right here.”

Ray (and the others) came back in as Charlie went to go see the little ones. All babies looked pretty similar when they were born. But Charlie could see the subtle start of strong facial features. They had skin darker than Ray’s but lighter than Zari’s. They were so little but resembled their parents so much already. Oh fuck, she was about to cry!

One of the little bundles of joy started crying, an obvious sign they were hungry. Caitlin, who was silently tearing up behind them, grabbed a bottle for them. Zari went to pick them up before Ray beat her to it, gently grabbing the baby (his kid!) and cradling them in his arms.

“Nope. You dealt with them for 9 months. Now it's my turn.”

Zari smiled so wide it nearly broke Charlie’s composure, but she stayed strong. She could do this. She wasn’t going to cry.

“So, what are their names?” Sara asked, hand on her hip as she looked at the still sleeping baby.

Ray smiled wide as he fed the baby, looking at Zari. “You want to tell them?”

She nodded. “I’d like to introduce to the Waverider crew their newest members: Behrad Charley Palmer-Tomaz and Anna Nasreen Palmer-Tomaz.”

Charlie took a deep breath. No crying, no crying. She could keep it in. But she was also internally screaming because her best friend named her kid after her! Must stay calm and collected. “Zari... that is one of the sweetest things ever. You... you named your kid after me...”

“Speaking of you guys,” Ray cut in, “we’ve also decided on who to ask about being godparents. They’re more of a secondary guardian if anything were to happen to us, instead of something religious. Zari and I liked the idea of them also being potential mentors if the kids want to enter the family business.”

His wife nodded in agreement. “Ray and I spent a lot of time talking this out. We love all of you, some of you reluctantly-” John barked out a laugh. “-but we could only choose a few. Don’t get it twisted, though. I know for a fact you guys’ll still spoiled the kids rotten.”

Murmurs of agreement were heard all around as Ray cleared his throat. “So, uh, I guess I just ask this, huh? Okay.” He took a deep breath. “Um, Nate, Gideon. Would you like to be Anna’s godparents?”

The historian immediately broke into tears while the AI looked like she would’ve cried if she was flesh and blood. It was a resounding yes on their ends.

“Alright, Mick, Sara.” Zari looked at the two intently. “Would you like to be Behrad’s godparents?”

Mick blinked before a shrug, although Charlie could tell he was trying not to tear up. Sara wasn’t one to cry much and just nodded with the widest smile she’d probably ever seen in her life.

“And Charlie.” The shapeshifter looked up. She hadn’t been asked to be a godparent, and that was honestly okay with her. She wouldn’t complain. They named their son after her. That was more than enough. But Ray still had hope in his eyes. “Zari and I decided that you were our closest friend. And that’s why we were hoping you would be a godparent of both of them.”

And there came the tears. “Y-You want me to be...”

“The Allfather!” Ray exclaimed cheerfully, although made sure he was quiet considering Anna was falling asleep in his arms.

Zari rolled her eyes. “That’s Ray’s nerd term for it, but I’m assuming you get the gist.”

Charlie nodded, rushing to gently hug Zari, before giving Ray a pat on the arm. “Of course I’ll be! Yes, yes, yes, yes!”

Zari laughed, while conversation started up in the room. Those who felt comfortable took turns holding the babies. Zari looked up at her husband as their teammates talked amongst themselves about them.

“They’re gonna be spoiled rotten, aren’t they?”

Ray grinned. “Oh, one hundred percent.”

---

In the end, the birth of the Palmer-Tomaz twins was an emotional night to say the least. Ray and Zari being the second and third of the Waverider crew to have children, and unsure how exposure to the temporal zone could affect any children they had. Anna and Behrad would later grow up to be powerful time traveling superheroes in their own right, but that’s another story.

One thing is for certain, though. They were one hundred percent spoiled rotten. It just happens when the Legends are your family.

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ryik-the-writer · 6 years

Text

Fic: Babysitting Debacle

A03

Part of the Never Unwanted series

Gideon and his friends help him babysit his baby sister when things go...horribly wrong...from the perspectives of 14-year-olds at least.

Age of the kids: 14 years old

-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-

“It says to put it on with the balloons up front.” Neal read, still confused despite reading the directions on the diaper box. This was no job for an innocent fourteen-year old.

Gideon soothed his two-month old sister, trying to keep her pacified while he and the other two teenagers in the room tried to figure out how to change a diaper.

Why the hell had they’d volunteer to babysit while his parents went on their first date night since the baby was born?

Because they were damn fools, that’s why.

Neal and Robyn had been excellent surrogate siblings while Belle went through her unexpected pregnancy, picking up food craving items on their way from school, helping Gideon and his dad put the nursery together, and most importantly, catching Gideon when he fainted when Belle went into early labor (or “passed” out as Gideon had defended).

Now, they were responsible for the safety and well-being of that baby for at least two hours more.

All had been well for the earliest part of the night, fun even. They had given little Dante Colette Gold her bath, put her in a warm pair of pajamas with bunny ears, and even given her a bottle without much fuss. It wasn’t until the foul smell of a dirtied diaper filled the air that the teenagers discovered that babysitting was actually a very dangerous game.

And they were the pawns.

“There’s balloons on both sides!” Robyn protested, finally pulling out her cellphone to find a more visual solution to their problem. “Next time try to take notes Gideon.”

“Shove off.” Gideon hissed, bouncing his little sister. “I know how to do everything else.”

“Knock it off, both of you.” Neal ordered, picking up a diaper and examining it. “Does it really matter what direction we put it on?”

“Yeah, she could get a rash.” Gideon warned, shushing the baby as she got fussier.

“Okay, found one.” Robyn announced, turning her cellphone to the boys and baby girl. The teens watched as the instructor cleaned and rediapered the baby, smiling like the whole thing wasn’t gross and awkward.

“Go back about thirty seconds.” Neal requested.

“What didn’t you get?” Robyn miffed.

“How are we supposed to get…everything out?” Neal shivered, he and Robyn turning to Gideon once again.

Gideon honestly didn’t know. His parents handled all that. All he did was complain about the smell when he walked by the nursery.

“We have to figure something out. She’s at max capacity.” Gideon warned, carefully handing the baby over to a stiffened Robyn.

“Don’t you run!” Neal yelled, biting his lip when Dante began crying from the loud sound.

Gideon ran back in with a handful of yard masks from the garage and a pair of dish gloves from under the sink.

“Only one pair of gloves,” Gideon announced. “Who’s gonna do the deed?”

“Why are you even asking?” Robyn protested. “You’re her brother!”

“But you’re a girl!” Gideon fought back.

“He has a point.” Neal shrugged.

“I’m in a wheelchair!” Robyn exclaimed, pointing down at her legs with distaste. “Unless you really want a mess, you better get those damn gloves on!”

“Damn it!” Gideon howled, dulling his irritation so that he could carefully lay the baby out on the changing table. “Hand me the stupid gloves.”

Robyn and Neal exchanged a smirk before donning their masks, Neal helping Gideon undress Dante. Once the baby was down to her balloon-printed diaper, the moment of truth arrived and the teens stood clear.

“Okay, just…” Gideon fidgeted with Robyn’s phone as baby Dante became more agitated and uncomfortable. He carefully undid the stickers of the diaper, pulling it down slowly.

“Oh my gods no!” Neal gagged when the contents were revealed.

“You drop my phone in that so help me…” Robyn warned through her mask.

“Shut up and let me think.” Gideon gagged. “Neal, get her legs before she kicks shit everywhere.”

Neal hesitatingly obeyed, holding the baby’s tiny legs out of the way while holding his breath.

“Easy, easy now.” Neal whispered as Gideon slowly pulled the diaper out from other the baby.

“Shut up.”

“Oh my gods I think some just rolled out!” Robyn hollered.

“Ah where!” Gideon screamed, accidentally yanking the diaper the rest of the way and sending its contents flying.

“Oh…oh god.” Neal gagged.

“Don’t you dare.” Gideon warned.

Neal shook his head and ran over to the nearest bowl-like object to throw his stomach contents into.

“Oh my gods what is happening!” Gideon exclaimed as Neal threw up and Dante wailed.

Robyn tried awkwardly to comfort her from her chair but finally threw her hands up in the air when the baby continued to cry. Frustrated and disturbed, she reached up and pulled Gideon down to her level.

“Gideon, you have to make this stop.”

“I-I can’t.” Gideon stated as he looked back and forth between Neal and the baby. “I’m only supposed to use magic in life or death situations.”

Robyn grabbed Gideon by the ears and forced him closer.

“Your sister is pissing on the changing table and Neal is throwing his guts out!” she shrieked, shaking Gideon violently. “Use the magic Gideon!”

“Oh my GODS!” Gideon exclaimed before he summoned a great bout of magic. In the blink of an eye, the room was calm and clean, as was baby Dante and Neal.

“Oh god,” Neal gasped, scrubbing over his face. “I’m so sorry guys. I don’t know what that was.”

“That was you being a wuss.” Robyn sighed, tearing off her mask and wiping her forehead.

Gideon began redressing his sister, muttering apologies as she cooed comfortably.

“Don’t tell my parents about this, please?” Gideon begged has he cupped Dante’s small head.

“Would they really care if you used magic?” Neal inquired as he packed away the baby items.

“That’s not what I mean.” Gideon whispered as he laid Dante down in her crib. “I didn’t exactly give the best first impression when mum got pregnant. I don’t want them to think I’m rejecting the big-brother role again.”

“That was a year ago!” Robyn called from the adjacent bathroom where she was scrubbing her hands and arms furiously.

Gideon soothed his little sister as she tethered off to sleep, nodding for Neal to exit the room.

“You’ve been stressing about this since Aunt Belle’s second trimmest.” Neal laughed as he piggybacked Robyn down the stairs, Gideon just behind them with her wheelchair. “They don’t look at you any differently, any of us for that matter.”

“Why would we look at anyone any differently?”

The teens froze on the stairs, Neal nearly dropping Robyn from being startled by Mr. Gold’s voice.

“Um…” Gideon mumbled as his mother came in just behind her husband with a to-go container. “We were…uh talking about uh…”

“Our Halloween costumes!” Robyn stated.

The Gold parents exchanged amused looks.

“A little early to be thinking about Halloween, isn’t it?” Rumplestiltskin asked as he helped Gideon set up Robyn’s wheel chair.

“Just want to make a decision early.” Robyn said as she situated herself. “You know, supplies and all.”

“Of course.” Belle nodded. “But do try to go as something that doesn’t involve fake blood, okay?

“Yeah.” The teens agreed, the knots in their stomachs loosening.

“Well, I’d love to sit here all night, but I promised my dad I’d help him with the sheep before Monday.” Neal said after a moment of silence.

“Very well.” Rumplestiltskin nodded. “Is your father coming to pick you up or would you like a lift?”

“Nah, I’m meeting him at Granny’s.” Neal answered.

“My mom too.” Robyn added as she grabbed her backpack.

“Before you both go,” Belle smiled, holding out the container. “Remy gave us a few pieces of molten lava cake for you.”

“Sweet!” Gideon cheered. Chef Remy’s legendary lava cake was a once in a blue moon delicacy and was only available to those with a reservation at his restaurant.

Belle opened the container, revealing the overly chocolate treat and watched as the teens before her paled.

“Oh gods…” Neal gagged, images of diapers and baby excrements making his stomach turn.

Belle gasped as Neal made a mad dash to the kitchen sink.

Robyn and Gideon flinched as they heard Neal heave, their own stomachs turning.

“I…think we might need that ride Uncle Gold.” Robyn grimaced.

“I believe so as well.” Rumplestiltskin sighed, grabbing his keys from the bowl by the door (a Mother’s Day gift from Gideon from when he was five).

Robyn waited by the wheelchair ramp with Gideon while Rumplestiltskin started the car. A moment later Belle was ushering Neal onto the porch.

“Ugh, I’m sorry Aunt Belle, I don’t know what’s come over me.”

“Wuss.” Robyn fake-coughed, causing Gideon to snicker. Both the teen’s humor stilled when Belle sent a look their way.

“You’ll feel better after some rest.” Belle amended, sending Neal to the car.

“You coming, Gid?” Robyn inquired.

“Nah, I’m going to stay here and…recover.”

Robyn nodded and wheeled herself to the car.

Gideon and his mother waited until the Cadillac rolled off before they went inside, Belle immediately going upstairs to respond to Dante’s cries.

“Hello Rosie Posie.” Belle cooed. “Did you have a good day with your big siblings?”

Gideon leaned against the doorframe to watch his mother and sister. The lovely site was almost enough to make him forget about the literal shit day he had. Almost.

“So,” Belle said towards him as she laid Dante back in her crib. “What kind of spell did you use today Gideon?”

Gideon nearly fell over, floored by his mother’s knowledge of his little magical debacle.

“How did you…”

“I’m your mother, I know everything.” Belle said as she cranked Dante’s mobile. “That…and your father sensed it.”

Gideon groaned, his spine tingling as he sensed a lecture coming on.

Belle crossed her arms in a “mom pose” as Neal had coined it.

“Did something happen?”

“No!” Gideon insisted. “Just…we…” Gideon sighed. “I got a little overwhelmed…and I used a spell to calm things down.”

Belle nodded, biting her lip as she mused on Gideon’s response. Then she looked up and smiled at him.

“Okay.”

Gideon waited for her to continue, to remind him about the consequences of using magic, though she’d save the “price” bit for when his father returned. However, Belle was now focused on folding a basket of baby clothes.

“Are you disappointed?” Gideon asked, his stomach turning in anticipation.

Belle turned, her blue eyes softening.

“Oh honey, no.” Belle smiled, dropping a onesie to take her son’s hands. “Sweetheart, you’re old enough to know how and when to use your magic. Your father and I just like to be informed.”

Gideon nodded, barely rolling his eyes when she brushed his hair from his face.

“Now,” Belle said. “It’s getting late. Don’t forget to brush your teeth.”

“I know mom.” Gideon scoffed, leaving her to tend to his sister. He sighed as he got closer to his room, thankful that his mother had allowed him to spare the details of why he had needed the spell in the first place. He really did not want to think about the details.

As he changed into his pajamas, he mentally rejoiced on having both survived his first day of babysitting as well as getting away with casting his first unsupervised spell.

At least he was until he heard a shriek from Dante’s room.

“Gideon Gary Gold, why is there vomit in your sister’s baby basin!”

-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-

Note: Dante’s name = Everlasting

#rumbelle #rumbelle fic #never unwanted #Gideon Gold #Robin Mills #Neal Nolan #ouat fic #ryik's fics

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yevonscribbles · 7 years

Text

Backroads

In which a high school crush between a fox and a cougar grows into something more.

OK LISTEN! I had to get this out of my system! I am from the country (like COUNTRY country with 4-H and FFA lets-go-dance-in-cornfield-country) and this is romantic to me! It’s that cheesy “I wanted THAT but I was so far in the closet a talking lion is telling me about religious allegory,” type of idea from my teenage years that has been eating away at my sanity since I thought about it. So please enjoy with a cheap beer that you stole from your Dad and Garth Brooks playing on the radio…

*****

“This day has been shit… Ah got a C on mah test, ah have three reports due next week, and ah have another text on Monday…” Gideon Grey thought to himself as he slammed his locker shut. Senior year of high school was supposed to be a magical time for lots of mammals but all it did was remind the fox that he was going nowhere fast. At first, it had seem that the pudgy fox wouldn’t even graduate in a few months but with some tutoring from Bobby Catmull, Gideon would at least get his GED. The large cougar male had offered to help the former bully after the Grey family started to fall apart. Rumor had it that Gideon’s father had been abusing his wife and kit for years and the law had finally made a move towards the end of last semester to arrest the fox for multiple charges. Gideon and his mother had finally been saved and were working on rebuilding their lives since the beginning on the spring semester.

“Ah little late…” Gideon muttered to himself. Part of the healing process was to set up the pudgy fox with a counselor to try and help Gideon control his ‘unchecked rage and aggression,’ as the sow in a clean green dress had put it. The fox had met with her for the past three months and had to admit that having someone to talk to was helping. Bobby was helping too, staying after school to help the delinquent fox and being someone Gideon had grown to care for. He was close to the only friend Gideon had besides Travis. The cougar had grown from a small nerdy cub to a large lean young man with an attractive body. Gideon winced to himself. “Yer not allowed to call Bobby attractive ya queer fox…” He thought to himself. Sure, his counselor had helped him come to terms with his sexuality, but that doesn’t mean the fox was ready for the world to have one more thing to make fun of him for. “Besides. There is no way Bobby would like a broken mammal like me…” He thought to himself, as he shoved books from his locker to his tattered and worn backpack.

The long school day finally ended and Gideon started to trudge his way to his bus home with his torn and beaten backpack when the foxes path was blocked by a large frame. Growling, the fox shot the large mammal blocking his path a glare. Lately, every mammal had been anxious to start something with the former bully. Instead of an angry snarl, the fox saw the smiling muzzle of Bobby Catmull. Gideon looked away in embarrassment. “Sorry Bobby… Ah thought yer were someone who wanted to start something…” The cougar stood a full two heads above the fox and had a lean runner's body. If you didn’t know the mammal, you would guess he was the local football star but instead the cougar prefered to make music and art.

Bobby laughed a bit and adjusted his own backpack. “No one wants to hurt you Gid.” With an awkward shuffle, the large cat produced a small gift for the fox. “I heard you got a C on your last math test and I wanted to get you a little gift!” Gideon took the hand-wrapped item with a little hesitation. No one ever gave the fox anything…

“Ya didn’t have to… Ah only got a C because you stayed after school and helped me. Ah should be getting ya something not the other way around!” The fox protested. Bobby just shook his head and smiled.

“I wanted to… Hurry, open it!” The cougar said, his tail flicking in excitement. With a smirk, the fox open the newspaper that was wrapped around the flat object. Now free from its wrapping, Gideon looked at the clear box that housed a round reflective disk.

“A CD?” Gideon asked looking back to the cougar.

“Yeah!” Bobby said excitedly, his long tan tail flicking behind him. “Remember when we were studying the other night and I was talking about the ‘Beagles’ and other classic rock bands? Tada! Now you can listen to good music while you study on your own!”

“Ohhhh…” Gideon said vaguely remembering the conversation. “...Thank you Bobby…” The fox looked at his feet.

With a frown, the large cat hunkered down to look at the fox's eye-level. “What's wrong? I thought you would be excited…” Bobby said failing to hide his disappointment.

Meeting the cougars eyes, Gideon saw the sad look forming over the large cat’s muzzle. The fox didn’t want to let the cougar down. “Ah am excited...It’s just… Ah don’t have a CD player...So I can’t listen to it…” Gideon admitted. He really didn’t own anything other than some clothes and a few old books left by his Grandmother. Normally, the fox would rather die than show weakness, but Bobby had really grown into a trusted friend over the past few months of tutoring. Gideon’s counselor had encouraged the fox to be honest with those he cared about.

“Oh!” Bobby said with some surprise. “I didn’t even think of that… That was very stupid of me Gideon. I am sorry.” The cougar offered a sincere look.

“Don’t apologize! Ya didn’t know!” Gideon felt his face warm. “Ah will figure out something later but ah gotta get to the bus!” The fox began to make his way past the cougar when a large paw grabbed his own.

“I have an idea!” Bobby said with a smile, squeezing the foxes paw. Gideon could feel his face turn a bright red as he looked from his held paw to the smiling cougar. He wouldn’t admit it, but the fox enjoyed the feeling on his paw wrapped by the large digits of the cougar, his slightly rough paw-pads warming the smaller mammal. Just as the fox was about to ask Bobby to let his paw go, the large cougar began to lead the pudgy teen out the school. “Let me take you home! I know the perfect place we can go and listen to the CD together!”

Gideon was thankful that the odd pair were some of the last students to leave the school and the parking lot was all but empty. Releasing the foxes paw Bobby, he fished for his key ring and pressed a plastic button housed there. A relatively new blue pick-up truck beeped in response from across the way. Throwing his backpack into the bed of the truck, the cougar moved to the passenger side and pulled opened the door. The fox blushed a bit and placed his own backpack in the bed before climbing into the larger cab of the truck still clutching his gift to his chest.

The blue truck was built for larger mammals like cows, horses, or in this case large breed cats. Gideon’s feet dangled from the seat with plenty of extra room above his head. With a huff, Bobby sat in the driver’s side and buckled in with a smile. “It’s a good truck! Dad used it for awhile before getting a company car. So I get access to the truck as long as I keep my grades up.”

“It must be nice to go where ya want…” The fox said buckling his seat belt. He look down at the CD still clutched in his paws. ‘Why am ah feeling so nervous?’ Gideon thought to himself. With a small roar of the engine, Bobby drove the pair out of the school parking lot and out towards the rolling fields of the Burrows. Many of the crops were just a small green plant in the Spring but in a few months large stocks of corn, multi-colored berries, and even large oval tobacco leaves could be seen. The fox watched out the window as a silence fell on the pair. The blue truck took a turn seemingly at random and continued to take the fox to an unknown location. A few more minutes and the truck parked on a small hill overlooking several fields and a lake.

Bobby turned to face the fox. “Here we go! My personal favorite spot! Mind if I see the CD real quick?” The large cat asked. Gideon handed his gift over and watched as the cougar took the round item and inserted it into the dashboard. After a moment, a soft guitar could be heard coming through the speakers. With a smile, the large cat cranked up the volume causing Gideon to cover his ears with a frown. “Oh sorry! I forgot that your ears are more sensitive.”

Wincing, the fox looked at the large cat. “Ah little, why are ya playing it so loud? Won’t we get in trouble?” Gideon asked. With a large grin, the cougar unbuckled his seatbelt and patted the foxes paw.

“Naw, we won’t bother anyone here. Wait there while I get everything set up.” And with that the large cat opened his door and started to reach below his seat for something before meeting Gideon’s eyes. With a blush Bobby added. “Could you close your eyes… I want it to be a surprise.” The fox gave the cougar a mocked frustrated look but did as he was told.

With his eyes closed, Gideon could focus on the smells and sounds around him; the CD was playing a soft guitar with a warm voice singing in tune and the truck cab the fox sat in smelled like Bobby and the usual scents of earth coming from the fields. Occasionally, a rustle or metal clank could be heard from where Bobby was working on his surprise. The fox felt his cheeks warm a little thinking about the cougar holding his paw earlier. He wasn’t sure why the cougar was being so friendly and went out of his way to give Gideon a present that he really didn’t deserve. Sure, they had spend hours together trying to get Gideon caught up and on his way to graduating before the end of senior year, but the fox thought Bobby was just being a good mammal. The cougar was easily the smartest mammal in their grade and had been one of the first to show support for Gideon after his father was arrested. ‘Maybe Bobby just feels sorry for me…” The fox thought before he heard the passenger door open and the warm voice of the cougar snapped the teen back to the present.

“Hold out your paw Gid.” Bobby said and again the fox complied. Jumping from the cab, the fox still with his eyes closed was lead around to the back of the truck. “Ok… Open your eyes!”

The red fox opened his eyes to see that the back of the truck had been turned into a makeshift picnic spot with a blanket thrown over the bed. Gideon found himself smiling and gave the cougar a sideways smile. “Did ya have this planned?”

“Not really… I had to improvise a little, here let me help you into the truck bed.” After a few moments, both mammals were laying in the bed of the truck with their backs propped against the cab watching the fields sprawling out all around them while the CD continued to play a collection of music hand-selected by Bobby. Gideon found himself absorbed by the sheer variety of music the cougar had picked out and after a particularly energetic song the fox smiled over to Bobby.

“Thank ya Bobby, ah really appreciate ya making this CD fer me.” Gideon said as his cheeks began to warm. “Ah don’t know why ya waste yer time on me though…” The fox started to twiddle his fingers together and looked out over the fields unable to meet the cougars eyes. Gideon felt tears well around his own eyes but tried his best to keep himself from crying. After a moment Bobby scooted closer to the fox and wrapped an arm around the smaller male.

“I don’t think I am wasting my time on you Gideon.” The cougar said in a warm whisper hugging the fox. “Hey look at me…” Bobby asked placing his large paw on the foxes cheek. Their eyes met and Bobby could see the tears Gideon was trying to hide. “I really like you Gideon Grey.” The larger male leaned forward until their lips met.

Gideon wasn’t sure if he should protest or allow himself to get swept away in the moment. Soon the fox began to kiss the large cat back placing his own paw on Bobby’s cheek. Eventually, the cougar broke the kiss and looked into the deep green eyes of the fox. The boys both wore a goofy satisfied grin.

“Ah can tell ya like me Bobby Catmull…” Gideon said with a little slur. The pair started to giggle at each other as the larger cat pulled the fox close into a hug. Leaning back in the cab of the truck, the pair continued to listen to music wrapped in each other's embrace. Their paws were locked together as they whispered to one another between the music. Slowly, the sun began to sink below the horizon and the bright blue sky gave way to rays of orange, red, and yellow.

Eventually, Bobby drove Gideon home and after a final goodbye kiss the fox waved the cougar off. Making his way into the small run-down building he called home, Gideon put his backpack down and headed to the kitchen.

“Well, well yer home late.” Gideon’s Mom said. The greying vixen walked over to her son and gave him a quick hug. The pair had been growing closer after Mr. Grey had been arrested. While there was still years of pain and hurt to heal, both Mother and Son were working hard to form a better bond and they would even go to counseling together at times. The vixen was also a bit pudgy much like her son and kept her longer autumn-colored head fur in a tight bun. She stood a little under her son’s chin and while Gideon had bright blue eyes hers were a cool misty grey.

Sniffing, the air the female fox stopped in her tracks. “Oh you smell a lot like a cougar right now, were you spending time with that Catmull boy?”

“Yes Mom, Bobby made me a CD so we listened to it in his truck. He’s gonna come get me tomorrow to help with mah essays…” Gideon said while he began searching the kitchen for a few items. His mother leaned in the doorway and took out a cigarette.

“Are you actually going to study tomorrow or make-out more?” The vixin said with a smile.

“MOM!” Gideon protested turning to his mother while his face turned a bright red.

“What? You can’t hide everything from me Gid! Ah can smell it and ah am all for ya making-out with a good kit! Truth be told, ah thought you would end up with Travis...” Mrs. Grey said lighting the cigarette. Gideon covered his eyes and took a deep breath to collect himself.

“Sweet cheese and crackers…” The male fox huffed as he went back to collecting the things he needed. Some flour, sugar, some strawberries from the fridge...

“Whatcha making?” The vixen asked taking a long draw from the tobacco product.

“Ah thought ah could make Grandma’s strawberry pie fer tomorrow… Fer Bobby…” Gideon said with a blush. The vixen giggled and turned to head back to the living room leaving her son to his work.

“As long as I get a slice, you can bake to yer heart’s content!” With a wave, Mrs. Grey disappeared from sight. “Tell Bobby he will need to come for dinner soon so ah can meet him! Yer not gonna date him till I give the O.K.” The vixen called from the other room.

“Mom! All we did was kiss!” Gideon hollered back and with a shake of his head, the teen began to prepare his Grandma’s famous pie. The younger fox began to laugh to himself. He could get used to the idea of dating the cougar.

#zootopia #fanfic #fan fiction #gideon grey #bobby catmull #gideon x bobby #country #gay #first kiss

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anotherererifanshippingcorner · 7 years

Text

Teacher/student AU - ereri week day #2

Another thing happened. God, I think I got carried away with the messages part of the OS? Sorry, but it was really fun to write!!

Rating: General Audience

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin

Pairing: Eren Jaeger/Levi Ackerman

Word count: 1727

Additional tags: Alternative Universe - Modern Setting, College Professor!Eren, Student!Levi, College AU, Teacher/Student AU

Summary: One Shot for ereri summer week 2017, Teacher/Student AU

Holydays were always welcomed, but that year in particular they couldn’t have been sweeter than in any other time in his college career. He usually didn’t move anywhere for the occasion -the dorms remained open and his house back in Trost mostly empty since he and his sister had been old enough to stay on their own. Now, the worst part of his friends had already abandoned the field to migrate back to their families. No Hanji, no Isabel, no Erwin -and that meant PCQ, damn Izzy for twisting his mind with those atrocious acronym. Peace. Calm. Quietness. Farlan still had work and thus couldn’t follow her to her parents’ house, so the both of them were stuck together for the rest of the year. Or so his friends believed. They didn’t know much about Levi’s plans, just that he was probably going to spend his free time between the library and his room, maybe to the bar where Farlan worked, too -Isabel had ordered her boyfriend to drag their mutual friend out of his dorm-hole any time he could-, but they were up for a surprise. Levi was, in fact, packing what he needed to spend his holydays elsewhere. He had waited specifically for them to be gone before delivering the news, so not to be present when hell would inevitably break loose. His phone kept dinging with incoming messages, and he simply checked his bag and stuff before deeming himself ready to go. He closed the door to his room with the key and descended the staircase, heading to the reception desk and nodding at Riko’s way. “I thought you were going to stay here. Going home, in the end?” “No. I’ll be in town, just not here.” “Mmh. Suspicious.” Levi rolled his eyes and didn’t offer a reply. Instead, he left his key on the desk and made his farewells, turning and exiting the building. He tightened almost immediately his hold on his scarf, shivering slightly. Winter was a bitch, and it came as a typhoon that year (it was probably worst there than in Winterfell, Jon Snow be damned), without giving people in the little Stohess time to adjust to the hard and sudden weather. Levi liked this season of the year, but only when he wasn’t forced to face it -preferably in his warm room, with a cup of tea and a book. He saw a bench and sat down, arranging his bag next to him and waiting for his lift to come. Looking down at the phone in his hand, he checked the group chat and got comfortable for what was to come. Shit for brains [09:27] Why our leprechaun is not answering?!?!?! Shit fro brains [09:27] Do you think he got lost in the city?!?! Maybe he is inside a snowman and some kid is keeping him prisoner!! Shit for brains [09:27] Squad Levi to the rescueeee Red pigtails [09:27] Hanji! Stop calling him that! You know how annoying he gets! He is going to be fine! Shit for brains [09:28] Buuuuuuuut Red pigtails [09:29] No. He can take care of himself. Red pigtails [09:29] More or less. Red pigtails [09:29] How is the Christmas tree’s decoration challenge turning out? Shit for brains [09:30] I know what you’re doing, Izzy. Shit for brains [09:30] Stop trying to manipulate my attention. Shit for brains [09:30] Now. Shit for brains [09:30] IT’S GREAT!! You should see it! Never has a Christmas tree had more photos hanging down from its branches than this! It’s beautiful! So many Erwin’s and Levi’s and Izzy’s and Farlan’s, you’re all so cute!! Red pigtails [09:31] Well, I guess you won. Shit for brains [09:31] Damn hell I did!

Levi was not sure what he was reading, really. How were they his friends he still didn’t know.

Red pigtails [09:31] You should send us a photo! Shit for brains [09:32] I will when I’ll get home! Shit for brains [09:41] Do you think Farlan is with Levi already? Red pigtails [09:43] Hanji!! Stop torturing him! Shit for brains [09:43] I’m not “torturing him”, I’m worried! Red pigtails [09:43] We know you, you don’t just “get worried” over Levi. Shit for brains [09:43] But he is going to be alone! For Christmas! Red pigtails [09:43] Uuh… Shit for brains [09:44] Yes!! UUUH!! Red pigtails [09:44] Now I’m feeling like a shitty friend. Shit for brains [09:45] THAT’S WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT Shit for brains [09:45] WHAT HAVE WE DONNNNNNNNEEEEEEE Levi [09:45] I can hear your screams from here Shit for brains [09:45] LEVI!! MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE DORK!! Red pigtails [09:45] Ehi there, big bro! We were talking about you! Levi [09:46] Yeah, I can tell Red pigtails [09:46] Sorry, you know how Hanji gets… Shit for brains [09:46] LEVI!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING Shit for brains [09:46] ARE YOU ALONE Shit for brains [09:46] IS EVERYTHING OKAY?! Levi [09:47] Yes, HANJI, please stop whining Levi [09:47] Actually Levi [09:47] I’m waiting for someone to pick me up Red pigtails [09:47] What Shit for brains [09:47] WHAT Shit for brains [09:47] WHAT Shit for brains [09:47] EXPLAAAAIN Shit for brains [09:47] OR ELSE I’LL BE YOUR PERSONAL DALEK Red pigtails [09:47] It can’t be Farlan, he is working Levi [09:47] It’s not Farlan Red pigtails [09:47] So Red pigtails [09:48] Big bro? Red pigtails [09:49] Levi? Shit for brains [09:51] LEVI I SWEAR TO GID IF YOU DON’T ANSWER I’M GOING TO GO BACK YO THE DORMS AND SPIT ON YOUR BED Levi [09:52] Jesus, you’re disgusting. I was on the phone. Levi [09:52] And watch you typing, moron. I’m going to spend the holydays with Eren Shit for brains [09:52] EREN? EREN, WHO’S EREN Red pigtails [09:52] Omg you didN’T Shit for brains [09:52] WHO’S EREN Shit for brains [09:52] I’M FEELING LEFT BEHIND Shit for brains [09:52] IS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND Shit for brains [09:53] LEVI IS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND Shit for brains [09:53] I’M SO GOING TO SPIT PN YOUR BED Shit for brains [09:53] ON* Red pigtails [09:53] Levi tell me you didn’t Red pigtails [09:53] I thought you were jocking!! Shit for brains [09:53] EXPLAIN NOW I’M GOING MAD HERE Red pigtails [09:53] Eren as in Professor Jaeger Red pigtails [09:53] He told me he was going to confess but Red pigtails [09:54] I didn’t think he was for real!!!!! Shit for brains [09:54] OH MY GGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD Shit for brains [09:54] YOU. DIDN’T. Caterpies [09:54] What’s going on here? Shit for brains [09:54] ERWIN Shit for brains [09:54] THANK GOD Shit for brains [09:54] SDKGPOSJKDPOGJHSR Red pigtails [09:54] I feel betrayed Shit for brains [09:54] LEVI IS GOING TO SPEBD THE HOLUDAYS WITH HIS PEOFESSOR Red pigtails [09:54] How could you not tell us?!?! ME?!!!???! Shit for brains [09:54] SPEND* Shit for brains [09:55] HOLYDAYS* Shit for brains [09:55] PROFWSSOR* Shit for brains [09:55] PROFESSOR* Shit for brains [09:55] SHIT Red pigtails [09:55] I can’t believe it Caterpies [09:55] Levi? Is that true? Levi [09:55] Mh Shit for brains [09:56] YOU TRAITOR Shit for brains [09:56] HOW COME YOU WAITED SO LONG TO TROLL US?!?! Shit for brains [09:56] TELL* Caterpies [09:56] I think he did it on purpose, so that we couldn’t say anything to him in person. Red pigtails [09:56] OF COURSE HE DID Red pigtails [09:56] BIG BRO Red pigtails [09:56] YOU SO DON’T WANT TO SEE ME RIGHT KNOW Red pigtails [09:56] I’M GOING TO KILL YOU Caterpies [09:57] Can someone send me a photo of this Professor of his? Caterpies [09:57] Is he much older than you, Levi? Levi [09:57] Not by much. He is 31. Red pigtails [09:57] AND HE IS HOT. LEVI HAS BEEN DROOLING ON HIM FOR YEARS. Levi [09:57] He is not my professor anymore, you know Shit for brains [09:57] SO YOU JUMPED ON HIM? Levi [09:57] Pretty much, yeah Red pigtails [09:58] Omg! Shit for brains [09:58] OMG!!!!!!! Caterpies [09:58] Mh, congratulations? Levi [09:58] Thanks. Gotta go, he’s here. Shit for brains [09:58] WERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINJ YOU’RE GOING Red pigtails [09:58] YOU JUST NEED TO TRY… Shit for brains [09:58] COME BACK HERE Shit for brains [09:58] LEVI Red pigtails [09:58] DON’T SHUT YOUR PHONE ON US LIKE THIS, YOU DUMBASS!! Caterpies [09:58] Have fun, I guess!

Levi hid a smile behind his scarf and turned his phone in silent mode, putting it into his bag when he saw Eren’s car stop in front of the dorms. He opened the passenger door and got in, slamming it almost immediately to preserve the pleasant warmth of the vehicle. He turned around and found the older man staring at him with a calm smile, eyes boring into his with too much intensity and nervousness for the distance between them. “Hi.” “Hi to you. You’re early.” “Barely, just a couple of minutes. Besides, you were already waiting outside.” “What can I say, I was impatient.” Eren grinned at him. “To see me?” Levi wanted to retort with some kind of joke, and as much as he loved playing with Eren’s occasional naivety, I didn’t want to ruin the moment. “That and spending the following two weeks in a real apartment.” “I knew you were after my wealth, jeez.” “It’s not like you’re rich, stupid. If anything, I’m after your body.” “That’s for sure.” “Mmh.” Levi leaned over the console and raised his arms toward Eren, running his hands along the dark green button down’s collar, over his shoulder in a slow, teasing caress, then down on his chest, following his own movements with his eyes, before stopping on his hips. He looked up, smiling at the ardent, breath-consuming gaze Eren was giving him, charging the air around them with a well-known electricity to the couple. ”Are you testing me?” ”Not really. And anyway, it’s not like I would even have to try that hard.” ”True.” Pulling back, Levi’s hand brushed Eren’s crotch and he heard the sudden intake of breath of the older one. He feigned indifference. “Let’s go, before I do something very, very stupid in front of my job place and get fired for it.” Levi’s lips curved upward. “We wouldn’t want that, yeah. Let’s go.” Eren breathed in sharply, then turned toward the wheel and started the car. Waiting for the holydays had been hell, but Levi was finally ready for heaven to come and stay for two, blissful weeks.

#ererievents #ererisummer2017 #ereriauweek #teacher student au #day 2 #ereri #my writing #OS #i did another thing #still late

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dipifica · 7 years

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need help/new story!

hey everyone!!! i know ive been m.i.a. when it comes to the fanfic scene but i have the first chapter of a new story and its......a 10 things i hate about you au! i love this movie a ton and really love the idea so i thought i would try it out! under the read more below is the first draft of chapter 1! i dont usually do this but i would totally appreciate any comments or suggestions on this first chapter (also if you want more/would read until the end, etc.) since im busy and have been having personal problems i feel it would help me be motivated if people were interested! this is a rough draft so things can change but for sure couples are dippica (dipper/pacifica) and wenbel (wendy/mabel) ages are moved around as well but only so i can have the whole gang in high school at once. anyways yeah! please tell me what you think!

Wendy Corduroy adjusted her baseball cap for the final time before deciding that, eh, that will do. She had never been one for nervousness, frankly she considered herself to be one of the chillest people she knew (except around family, but who was stress-free around their family ever?), but today was a brand new day full of brand new people in a brand new place.

Wendy and her family has moved to Gravity Falls only a month ago because the work was good for her lumberjack father. With the world moving faster and faster everyday, Wendy’s father couldn’t seem to keep up and decided a quieter, more rustic town would do well for the entire family. Luckily, the Corduroy children weren’t incredibly disappointed. Wendy was a starting her senior year somewhere new, but she tried to look on the bright side. If she loved it here, she will be happy, and if she hated it, hey, she’s in college next year anyway.

She got an E-Mail the night before instructing her about the school’s transfer policy, each transfer student would be assigned another student to lead them around the school, answer questions, and be a “friend” although Wendy knew well that the school couldn’t make her be friends with anyone. Still, she thought it was somewhat unnecessary, the school wasn’t huge and she was a senior, the last thing she needed was to look lame asking someone younger than her about her school.

“Name, please?” A man asked her as she approached the main office.

“Wendy Corduroy.” She stated, the school was a lot smaller than her last with far less students. Maybe her adventure would turn out to be a dud after all.

“Gideon Gleeful?” The man called to a group of student leaders. Wendy turned to see no one answer, than out from the corner a boy with white hair, dressed business-casual stood up.

“Yes, sir!” He replied.

“Your transfer. Wendy Corduroy, this is Gideon. Gideon, Wendy.”

“Nice to meet you.” Wendy shook the boy’s hand thinking how he even looked too young to be in high school.

“To you as well.” Gideon replied.

“If you have any questions, Gideon will answer them for you. Now, go ahead and start the tour. Next in line?”

“Right this way, Ms. Corduroy.” Gideon exclaimed.

“Wendy is fine, thanks. You are…..chipper.” Wendy chuckled. “If you don’t mind me asking…how old are you?”

“I’m 15 years old!” Gideon seemed to get somewhat angry. “I’m a sophomore this year at GFHS and I am so sick of people asking my age…” He muttered.

“I’m sorry, dude.” Wendy apologized. “You know, it’s good to look youthful.”

Gideon sighed. “Not when you are trying to get a girlfriend. Well, let’s start the tour anyway, you are gonna need a lot of help from me!” Gideon perked up and started his journey down the south east hall, Wendy trailing behind him.

—

“And that wraps up the English department. Next we have-“

“Gideon, can we just end the tour here? I think I’ll figure it out.” Wendy slumped over and sat down in front of a locker. Her feet killed as Gideon insisted on taking the stairs everywhere.

“We have so much more to see, Wendy!” Gideon exclaimed. “We still have the art wing, the back alley, the make out tree!”

“I really think I’ll catch on.” Wendy sighed and hung her head.

“‘Cuse me?” A perky, girl’s voice called from above. Wendy pulled her head back to see a beautiful young girl. “So sorry to bug you but you are blocking my locker.”

“I-uh…yeah. No, I’m sorry.” Wendy picked herself off and moved out of the pretty girl’s way.

“Hey, don’t be!” She smiled. “Are you new? I’ve never seen you around before.”

“Yeah, I am. Wendy Corduroy.” Wendy stuck her hand out.

“Mabel Pines!” Mabel trapped her hand and shook. Her hands were soft in Wendy’s and Wendy suddenly felt light as a feather. “You’ll love it here. Always something going on.” Mabel grabbed the book she needed from her locker and shut it. “I gotta go, but it was great meeting you, Wendy Corduroy!”

“You too, Mabel Pines.” Wendy replied, her heart dancing inside her. She usually wasn’t one for love at first sight but…wow. Mabel smiled once more and turned to join two other girls waiting on the corner for her.

“Don’t push your luck with her.” Gideon snapped Wendy out of her love-filled day dream. “Mabel Pines doesn’t date. Not allowed in fact.”

“Oh really, why is that?” Wendy asked, eyes still on the beautiful junior before her.

“Protective parents. You know, I even heard she’s not allowed to date until her brother does.”

“Brother?” Wendy questioned.

“Twin brother, Dipper Pines. Basically the biggest dork this school has ever seen.” Gideon chuckled.

“That’s not you?”

“Watch it newbie.” Gideon glared. “No one will go out with him.”

“Hey, can you do me a favor?” Wendy batted her eyelashes.

“Ugh, Dipper is straight and so am I.” Gideon groaned. “And we aren’t that close yet, sister. Maybe you could…”

“Hi,very gay.” Wendy responded. “Plus, I’d feel bad…”

“But you were ready to throw me into the ring, huh?”

“Look, there’s gotta be some way to get her brother a date and get her to…is she gay?” Wendy asked, deciding in the moment it would be best to get that settled before she devised any schemes.

“Heard through the grapevine she’s had summer camp flings with girls and guys. So bi?” Gideon shrugged.

—-

“Ladies!” Gideon called over to two girls who did not look pleased to see him. Wendy trailed behind, listening in on the conversation.

“What do you want Gideon?” The larger girl sighed.

“Just a quick question, Mabel, straight or…?”

“She’s not into you.” The smaller girl rolled her eyes. “She can’t date, you know this better than anyone.”

“Right, right, right, that was last year. I actually am on the market for someone new.” He winked to them, which they groaned and turned their backs to him in response. “So she is or?”

“Bi, weirdo!” One yelled back.

“Wait like, she’s bi, or like goodbye to me?” Gideon yelled back.

“Like she’s bi, idiot!”

“Okay, thanks!” Gideon scurried back over to Wendy who was now crouched behind a trash can.

“You had a thing for her? Should I be worried?”

“Last year, Wendy. Last year.” He waved his hand in the air. “Although Mabel did at one time own my heart, she made it clear even if she was to date…it wouldn’t be me.”

Wendy placed a hand on his shoulder. “I have your blessing?”

“Yeah, but you have to help me find a lady of my own now.”

Wendy laughed. “Okay. In the meantime, tell me more about Dipper Pines.”

—-

Wendy and Gideon sat at the table across from Dipper’s, watching him read a book that was in a language Wendy could not understand. “Damn, you really weren’t kidding. No friends?”

“Dipper can come off as a know-it-all jerkface.” Gideon whispered. “Half of the student body thinks he’s an weirdo nerd, the other half is afraid of him.”

“Afraid of him?”

“He’s got an interest in the paranormal. Really freaky shit.”

“I mean, that’s not that weird…”

“He’s had a few incidents at school…” Wendy raised an eyebrow. “Look, by now you know Gravity Falls isn’t exactly a normal town, we are home to some weird, unexplainable stuff. Dipper…exploits it. Brings it to school. We’ve basically had a lot of lockdowns because of him. Even his perfect grades couldn’t keep him out of multiple suspensions, and causing mass panic every few months doesn’t make him that popular.”

“Damn.” Wendy breathed. “So finding someone to date this guy is going to be…”

“Impossible? Yes.”

“No one comes to mind? Come on Gid, there’s gotta be someone willing and desperate!” Wendy whisper-screamed. “Maybe someone we can even blackmail?”

Gideon perked up and suddenly smiled widely. “Oh, I have just the person. This tour is about to get way more fun than what I expected.”

—

“Her?” Wendy asked. “She’s gorgeous.”

“And my only lead.” Gideon muttered. “Play it cool.”

“I always do!” Wendy scoffed as she followed Gideon towards the beautiful blonde standing at her locker.

“Pacifica Northwest, how are you?” Gideon greeted. The girl visibly sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Gleeful, a new school year is not going to make me forget how big of a weirdo you are. Move along.” She spat.

Gideon let out a chuckle and Wendy caught on he was most certainly enjoying this. “Actually, darling,” He grinned. “I think you should be a bit nicer to me from now on.”

“Psh. Why would I ever show you any sort of kindness? Get lost.” She slammed her locker and started to move away.

“Welcome to Posh Burger, can I interest you in some fries today?” Gideon stated simply, still grinning, causing Pacifica to stop dead in her tracks.

“No. Way.” She muttered, turning back. “Listen, you-“

“No, you listen.” Gideon interrupted, pulling out his phone revealing multiple pictures of Pacifica working at a burger joint. “I’ve got proof here that Miss Gravity Falls herself, works at Posh Burger two towns over. What happened Paz? Daddy ran out of money?”

“That is none of your business! And this right now, is just about the creepiest thing you have ever done!” Pacifica rose her voice. “Delete them.”

“The students of GFHS have a right to know what their homecoming queen does on the weekends. It would take one simple click…”

“What do you want? Is that what this is, some sort of blackmail?”

“Gideon, maybe we shouldn’t-“ Wendy started, not wanting to ruin some junior’s life on her first day.

“Wendy, you are new around here, but trust me, 85% of the school population would expose this brat the second they could. I’m a saint.” Gideon turned his attention back to the blonde. “It is a blackmail thing. We want you to take Dipper Pines out on a date.”

“He’s even worse than you.” Pacifica sighed. “Why would you ever care about Dipper Pines’ dating experience?”

“Wendy’s got a thing for Mabel Pines. Mabel doesn’t date until Dipper does. It’s simple really. You date Dipper, Wendy woos Mabel, and these pictures stay safe with me. In return, Wendy’s basically my slave and you have to date Dipper in the first place. Satisfying enough for me.”

Wendy shrugged and for the first time wondered what she was getting herself into.

“You’re cruel. This is going to ruin me.” Pacifica sighed.

“I think these pictures will more so.”

“Maybe I’ll take my chances.” Pacifica glared.

“No, wait! I’ll-uh-I’ll pay you for every date.” Wendy offered.

“Corduroy, what’s the deal?” Gideon whispered.

“I’m starting a new job over the weekend. I’ll pay you for every date you take him on. And-And we won’t leak the pictures. Deal?” Wendy stuck her hand out for a handshake.

Pacifica eyed her hand, then eyed Gideon who’s finger hovered over a send button. “…Deal.” She shook her hand. “Gideon, you just made it to the top of my shit list.”

“I’m humbled.” Gideon put on hand on his heart. “As an added bonus, I’ll be your information guide. Dipper usually hangs around Lab 324 after school, I think. Best to start the courting early.”

Pacifica cringed. “Whatever.” Pacifica finally got to storm away without interruption and as soon as she knew she was alone, she let out a frustrated scream.

——-

Pacifica paced outside Lab 324, she peeked her head through the small window and saw Dipper Pines sitting with headphones in and writing quickly in his notebook. She didn’t know why she felt so nervous. She tried to convince herself it was the fact this guy had almost destroyed the school and town multiple times, but she knew what it truly was, and feared fulfilling Wendy and Gideon’s task would be far harder than seducing just any nerd. This wasn’t just some nerd, it was Dipper Pines. The Dipper Pines that helped her a few years ago and showed her how horrible her parents could be. She now had to face, trick, and lead on the one who believed she could be better. She was going to prove his belief in her wrong all over again.

She thought back to the photos and sighed. It’s just this one guy. She thought. It’s not like he is a saint either. She recalled all the mean things he said about her that same day of the party.

The memory drove her to finally open the door, alerting Dipper to turn and pull his earphones out. “Pacifica.” He stated, he didn’t seem confused as to why she was there.

“Hey, Dipper.” She said, awkwardly strutting in and leaning on the table next to him. “How have you been?”

“Oh, so now you’ll talk to me?” He spat right away. Pacifica hoped he would be polite and act as if they had no past, but no one was around them to fake for.

“Don’t be like that, I was just a kid-“

“Just a kid two years ago when you refused to acknowledge my existence in front of your popular friends.”

“A lot can change in two years.”

“Yeah, but not that much.”

“Dipper, come on, I know I’ve been a real jerk to you in the past, but I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime. You know, like old times?”

Dipper stared into Pacifica’s eyes. “…What do you want?”

“To hang out with you.”

“No, what do you want? You choose now to suddenly rekindle our…semi-friendship almost four years after the fact? Is there another ghost in the manor?”

“No, I want to hang out, Dipper. I’m sorry if you felt like I ditched you.”

“I didn’t feel any way, you did ditch me.”

Pacifica remained silent, backed into a corner by Dipper’s words. She couldn’t argue it wasn’t true, the two had connected, even if it was a short time. By the time freshmen year pulled around, Pacifica learned fast how to survive in a bigger school: cut off the people that didn’t fit in.

“You know I’m right. You are so easy to read.” Dipper scoffed, packed up his things, and left the room.

Pacifica was left standing on her own, feeling guilty and frustrated.

#writing #dipifica #dippica #dipcifica #wenbel #rough draft

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lemon-natalia · 4 months

Text

Harrow the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 52

Augustine & Mercy are having a very intense convo about how they just murdered GOD and are dooming themselves, and Gideon 1.0, Gideon 2: Electric Boogaloo, and Ianthe are just … standing there

oh shit and Dominicus is gonna die and become a black hole? i mean given there’s a whole other book not sure where this is gonna go, maybe he was lying to everyone about that as well?

when Ianthe of all people is the one advocating to try and save people out of the goodness of her heart, you know you’re fucked

‘Well, Augustine, there’s something you should know’ could someone please say something in this series that isn’t ridiculously cryptic. also i totally forgot this guy was wearing Gid’s sunglasses the whole time lol

OH WAIT THE BITCH IS BACK. i knew it was too good to be true

also YIKES poor Mercy, she was not my favourite character but god she did not deserve that

also ah. hm. the above comment did not age well

oh this guys whole persona has just shifted. He’s still got that kinda irreverent jokiness & affability but he’s also evidently very pissed off, a lot less ‘lets have tea’ and more ‘do what i say or get fucked’

'then he looked at us, gave a crooked half smile’ ohhhh he has the same. fucking. crooked smile. that Gideon has in the BARI-star dream what the fuck

and he WAS the one who ordered Gideon-Part-1 to kill Harrow, for fucks sake. at least Harrow had Ortus be nice to her briefly cuz she’s three for three on her other parental figures trying to kill her at some point

Gideon found out her bio dad is GOD, saw him die, saw him come back to live naked, and now found out he tried to kill her (kinda maybe its complicated) girlfriend. thats just ... so many different levels of traumatising

also i keep forgetting Gideon is literally looking like Harrow for all of this

GIDEON 1.0 ISN’T GIDEON, ITS PYRRHA DVE HIS CAV?!?!? yknow what so much else is going on rn i barely have the capacity to process that

and she was also sleeping with Commander Wake, was everyone just fucking eachother????? and i thought the love quadrangle in the last book was complicated. i’m guessing she shot Wake to stop her from potentially revealing the whole ‘i’m actually alive’ thing to the Emperor then?

also wow there’s a lot of consent issues being raised in the last couple chapters and this one, not just with dios apate major, but also like … you’re having sex with someone while possessing someone else’s body without their knowledge, but also also its the only body you have because they (presumably) killed you to absorb your soul. like what.

the drama and vast existential horror of this scene is only mildly undercut by the fact that the Emperor is having this crazy fight wearing only what is essentially an opalescent bathrobe

also why are there fucking TEETH at the bottom of the River? and Tongues?? and it thinks he’s a Resurrection Beast? i feel like there’s so much more to the River that we haven’t uncovered yet

and Augustine wasn’t wrong with what he said wayy before, the Emperor really did grant him more leniency than he did Mercy, at least he gave him a chance before murdering him

also cmon Ianthe you’re really gonna save that guy, really?

'Hands pressed. We died’ AGAIN?? i mean at least this time there’s a chance for her to come back given she’s done it once before?? also i do not know what to make of her seeing Alecto before she dies at all

#lemon natalia reads the locked tomb #tlt #the locked tomb #the locked tomb liveblog #harrow the ninth

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imagineironfalcon · 8 years

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Imagine IronFalcon in the 'my Nana thought you're my boyfriend so now I have to bring you to thanksgiving dinner or I'm pretty sure she's going to hate me forever' situation where they're good friends who have to pretend to be boyfriends, and then becoming boyfriends for real.

(Watch out for the cut)

“So you don’thave actual plans for Thanksgiving,right?”

Tony glanced upas Sam sat down next to him, fingers already tapping nervously over thetextbooks for their shared lit class.

“Actual plans?”he echoed, and Sam nodded. “You mean like, actual plans besides the ‘annoy theshit out of Howard until Mom asks me to stop’ plans I already mentioned?”

Sam noddedagain.

“No,” Tony saidslowly. “No actual plans.”

“Good, good. Souh, I have a situation.”

Tony’s eyesnarrowed, suspicious and wary. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this….”

“Stop quotingStar Wars at me,” Sam said, then blurted, “Nana thinks you’re my boyfriend anddemanded I bring you to Thanksgiving dinner so she can finally meet you.”

“She… what?How’d she get that idea?” Tony yelped, eyes going wide and panicked.

“I don’t know!”Sam said back desperately. “She just did, okay, and she’s so happy aboutmeeting you and I am pretty sure if I show up without you that she’s going tohate me forever! Tony!” Sam whined. “I can’t have my nana hating me forever,she makes the best pies and she’ll not make my favorite for me if she’sdespairing that we’re not actually dating!”

Tony made arough noise, like a scoff. “She’ll hate us both if you lie to her!”

“Only a littlebit!”

“This is a bad idea,” Tony insisted.

“It’s just forThanksgiving! You’ll get free food out of it! I’ll buy you all the coffee youwant for the rest of the semester!”

Tony paused,giving him an incredulous look. “Finals are coming up. That’s a horriblepromise to make, Sam.”

“I am that desperate,” Sam said seriously.“Please?”

After a moment,Tony sighed, caving. “Alright, alright,” he muttered. “I’ll pretend to be yourdamn boyfriend, even though I think this is a horrible idea.”

“Thank you,”Sam gushed, hugging Tony for a moment before sitting back and opening histextbook. “Okay. Now that that crisis is over, on to this one.”

Tony grumbled,but opened his book as well.

~*~*~

“Mom,” Tonytried, and sighed when she interrupted him again. He turned, leaning againstthe doorframe, putting his back to Rhodey who was watching him closely thoughpretending not to. Quieter, Tony repeated, “Mom, please. It’s justThanksgiving. I’ll come home for Christmas.” That seemed to, finally, appeaseher, though she made him repeat his promise before she let him go.

Tony hung upand went to plop into his desk chair, spinning it in circles. Thanksgiving wasin two days. He should probably back.

“So you’rereally going to do this?” Rhodey asked, scribbling notes for one of his physicstextbooks.

“I told Sam Iwould,” Tony reminded him.

Rhodey lookedat him, brows furrowed. “Yeah, but won’t it be awkward?”

“Nah, notreally.” Tony spun around again. “I mean, a little bit. Sam’s like, my secondbest friend.” Tony shot Rhodey a grin. “But it’s just for a few days.”

“You describedthis whole thing to me as ‘the worst idea you’d ever agreed to’.”

Tony waved hishand dismissively.

Rhodey shookhis head after a moment, muttering to himself about idiots and how he hoped Godreally did protect fools – or something to that effect. Tony stopped reallypaying attention, instead debating if, as the “boyfriend”, he should bring somekind of gift. He was pretty sure that was the kind of good manners his momwould want him to have.

“What kind ofgifts do you bring to your pretend boyfriend’s family for Thanksgiving?” Tonyasked aloud.

Rhodey groanedand thunked his head down onto his textbook.

~*~*~

“We shouldprobably hold hands,” Sam muttered as they walked up the porch steps.

“Good idea,”Tony said, and linked their fingers just in time for the door to be yankedopen.

“Mom, Sam’s finally here!” yelled the kidon the other side of the door. He looked back at them, eyes locking on theirhands, and made a face. “Oh god, are you going to be as gross as Sarah now?”

“Shut up, Gid,”Sam said, pushing open the screen door to get inside.

Tony bit back asnicker when the kid – Sam’s brother, Gideon – grumbled, “That means yes. Ugh.”

Tony met Sam’s parents,Darlene and Paul, and his sister Sarah. It was a whirlwhind of hugs andhandshakes and loud voices all talking over each other catching up and greetingand Tony grinned the whole time.

He didn’t meetthe infamous Nana until they stepped into the kitchen, after they’d storedtheir stuff in Sam’s old room. Tony had been aiming for coffee; he wasintercepted and appraised by keen eyes in a lined face.

He froze. “Um…hi?”

“You’re Sammy’sboyfriend he’s been hiding from us?”

“…Yes?”

Her eyesnarrowed. “He tried to tell me he didn’t have a boyfriend. But I told him,there’s no way something put that kind of light and happiness on your facewhile talking about studying of allthings unless it’s a boy.”

Tony scratchedat his hair, down to his neck, and grinned sheepishly. “My best friend Rhodeycalled us fools, if that helps?”

She cracked asmile, the crinkles at her eyes thickening, and reached up to pat Tony’s cheek.“Does explain some things, yes.” She shook her head, turning to stir somethingon the stove – it smelled delicious, Tony wondered if Nana would be as sharp atprotecting food from tasting fingers as Jarvis was. “Sammy never could tellwhen someone was flirting with him.”

Tony snorted. “Herecognizes flirting just fine,” Tony said, as he noticed Sam walking into theroom. He grinned slyly. “Just so long as it’s completely cheesy.”

Sam rolled hiseyes, not missing a beat as he added, “Thankfully for me that’s the only kindof flirting Tony knows how to do.”

“Excuse you, Ican flirt just fine, you just never notice it when I’m being smooth!”

“Uh huh,” Samsaid, in a voice that completely conveyed ‘I’m just saying this to pacify you’.“Sure you can.”

Tony cast aquick look to be sure Nana wasn’t looking before flipping the bird.

Sam stuck histongue out.

~*~*~

Sharing the bedwasn’t a problem. Sam warned Tony that he snored, and Tony told him veryseriously that he would probably cling to Sam in his sleep worse than anoctopus, and they climbed under the sheets.

In the morningthey woke up with Tony using Sam as a pillow, arms and legs tangled together,and Sam snoring in Tony’s ear. They stretched and climbed out of bed and gotready, moving around each other easily.

Sam made Tonysome coffee, while Tony plopped across the entire couch in front of thefireplace. Gideon came in a few minutes later and whined for Tony to move hisfeet, but Tony just stared at him with a smile and raised brow until Sam camein with two cups.

Tony lifted hislegs for Sam to sit, and then put them in Sam’s lap. Sam passed over Tony’scoffee, just how he liked it.

Gideon groanedin despair and went to sit in one of the armchairs.

The daycontinued smoothly. No one seemed to pick up that they were only pretending tobe boyfriends.

To be fair, Samand Tony didn’t have to change their behaviors too much. No one seemed toexpect them to kiss or anything. They held hands a bit more, but the sittingclose and hugging and snuggling wasn’t that unusual. Tony was physically affectionatewith his friends, and Sam liked to reciprocate.

They banteredlike usual. Talked with Sam’s family. Sent Rhodey and Steve some snapchats ofthem, because their plan was gong perfectly despite best friend disapproval,and they both wanted to rub that in their faces.

They atedinner, played some games with Sam’s family, and went to bed again.

Tony stretchedthe next morning when he woke up before Sam, and rested his chin on his hands,over the top of Sam’s chest.

Sam keptsnoring.

Smiling, Tonywatched Sam for a few moments, before rolling out of bed and going to makehimself some coffee. Nana and Paul were already awake, sitting at the smallkitchen table in the corner, next to a sunny window. Tony joined them; none ofthem spoke, just sat and enjoyed the quiet and sunlight and coffee together.

When Sam cameout, pajama pants with little Superman symbols all over them low on his hips,covering his feet because they were too long, Tony smiled. He held out hiscoffee, and Sam sipped at it, before nudging Tony over so they were sharing thesame chair. It was far from comfortable.

Tony stole hiscoffee back before Sam could drink all of it, the thief.

~*~*~

“You know, thatwent… shockingly well,” Tony said onthe ride back.

“You’re thatsurprised?” Sam asked, glancing over his shoulder as he merged.

Tony shrugged,flipping through his music to find something good. “A bit? I mean I didn’texpect it to go epically wrong like some after school special or anything,” hesaid. “But I didn’t expect it to go that smoothly either. Like, seriously Sam.That was easy. It shouldn’t have been that easy to pretend to be dating.”

Sam was quietfor a little while, then said, “Yeah, probably not.”

“No one even suspected, did they?” Tony continuedwonderingly. “We were apparently like, super fucking awesome boyfriends.”

“Hell yeah wewere,” Sam said with a proud grin.

Tony laughed.He tilted his head back against the headrest, then turned it until he wasstaring right at Sam, thinking.

“You know, Iwouldn’t mind dating you for real.”

“Oh yeah?”

Tony nodded. “Sure.You’re smart. Funny. Caring. Damn fine. You laugh at my corny jokes.”

Sam snorted.

“You actuallylike me for me,” Tony continued, quieter. “You listen when I’m upset, and tryto make me feel better.”

“That’s whatfriends are supposed to do.”

“Yeah,” Tonysaid softly. “I don’t have many of those. Would hate to lose one. But if thepayoff was a super awesome boyfriend….”

Sam glanced athim, quick, before focusing back on the road.

“You want togive it a shot? For reals?”

“If you wantto,” Tony said. “I’m happy being friends. I think I could be happy beingboyfriends, too. So whatever would make you happy….”

He waited whileSam thought it over. He glanced at Tony some more, a few times.

“I wouldn’tmind dating you either,” he said. “All that stuff you said about me, I think it’strue for you too. Smart, obviously. And funny, with those corny jokes,” heteased. “Caring, despite how other people take advantage of it or misinterpretit. Always trying to help people.”

Smilingslightly, Tony slid his fingers slowly over the console. Sam dropped one handfrom the wheel and linked fingers with Tony at the edge of his seat.

“Rhodey andSteve are going to be so exasperated,” Tony chuckled quietly.

“Just an addedbonus,” Sam said, grinning cheerfully.

~*~*~

Tony leanedover and whispered to Sam, “I bet only dogs can hear the noises they’re making,”when they told their best friends they were now boyfriends during lunch the dayafter returning to campus.

Sam almostsnorted lemonade out his nose.

#ironfalcon #prompts #tony stark #sam wilson #tonyxsam #jules #marvelingjules #no powers au #college au #pretend relationship #get-together #anonymous

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