#plus i have to edit and polish and all that good stuff

[rxttenfish]

as i'm writing this fic i'm a little worried how the first chapter will come off, since it's basically an argument between miranda and aaravi. they fully do end up with an understanding at the end, but it's just one of those things that i fret how it'll come off to people just coming into this.

mostly, this is just part of how their relationship works? as in, they'll have a disagreement about something, and both are vocal and intense about their requirements and wants, and in being aggressively upfront about it they manage to lay out all of their feelings and end up on each other's stride. they work well together because they argue with each other first, and the rest of the fic is just that, with this setup being leadup to them not having these issues since they already went over them.

in the same way, it introduces them to everyone else and explains how they work, just as much as its a setup and a foundation for all the more intense worldbuilding coming up. miranda walking things through with aaravi and explaining them is a good vehicle to explain the fundamental powers at work here, and are also what's keeping her alive through all of this.

[thepoetjean-makes-stuff]

HOW TO ACTUALLY WRITE -- THE BASICS (AKA STEP 0-1)

(AKA ThePoetJean justifies their Master's degree and makes it everyone else's problem)

1) "WRITING IS REWRITING" AND WHAT THE HELL THAT MEANS -- No writing is law or set in stone upon the first draft, and whoever taught you that is a bum. Even permanent glue can be removed by nail polish remover, so why is editing your first draft no different? When writing for fun, oftentimes you can edit the post and clean up the story when things are no longer working (it's called a cutting room floor for a reason). When writing for publishing, you'll often be paired with an editor who'll send tweaks back-and-forth to you, chipping away at any structural mistakes or grammar flaws to bring out the point of your writing piece in the process. The first draft is just about getting the general vibes of the story down: like the batter for the cake recipe before you start baking it. This part is meant to be fun and messy and no one expects you to serve them go when you're just cracking your eggs open. Let yourself be messy cuz (burnt or fluffy), this is the first step to making your story, so no need to have something be all pretty and presentable the first time around! Again, a lot of writing is just rewriting cuz drafts are a thing so getting stuff down is most important. And another amazing thing -- if the story sucks, you can always change it later! You gotta trust yourself to get it done in order to get it out to the world one way or another, so go do that!

2) LEARN YOUR OWN WRITING PROCESS! -- (OH MY GOD PPL, LEARN HOW YOU TO THE THING IT'S HALF THE BATTLE!) Most of the struggles I see with newer writers is never learning how they write, and that sucks since have the joy of making things is making the thing -- so why make writing stories so arduos for yourself. Learn your own methods and use them whenever you get to writing! Learn the writerly basics like plot, structure, framing, character voice, setting, time period, etc and learn how best you can utilize them in your own stories! On a purely craft level: Learn ALL THE WRITING CRAFT and keep in mind that all writing craft is meant to be guidelines rather than hard rules. Learn many ways about how to write in general cuz no writing advice is one size fits all and being embarrassed of your process is dumb and hinders your creative growth. Trust yourself as a writer, you'll improve faster that way. Believing you can and believing it's possible is the first step to doing anything! (Plus all writing is rewriting anyhow to there's no need to feel embarrassed about something you can fix later, anyways, right?)

3) Read projects like your project in order to get a better feel of your project. Whether it be writing style references, basic literary craft examples, or just you want to break down the vibes of the stories so you can better emulate in your own -- GO AND WATCH/READ/LISTEN ETC TO WHATEVER STORIES YOU THINK WOULD MATCH THE VIBES OF YOUR OWN!! Now, this isn't a 1-to-1 copy, you're not mean to make a clone of the thing you like or take properties for the IP that you're into -- that's more along the lines of fanfiction (which can be fun and is ofc, super valid) -- BUT! To create your own stories, you need to learn where you get your ideas from, and learn how to implement, borrow, twist, etc from the story structures and properties you gather your inspo from. Other writers are your peers, not your enemies -- so treat their work and your own with the respect it deserves. No two chicken sandwiches are ever exactly the same; true artists steal from many places, so learn how to be a good thief (creatively speaking). Example from my own secret WIP novel: I'm writing a New Adult Urban fantasy novel with a dark, powerful lady protagonist that uses lots of philosophical themes, alternate history perspectives as well as using mythology as a basis for a lot of the magical roots and setting roots. Likewise, this a story about friendship and romance after major loss and trauma, and how to come back to yourself after grief, so I've been looking for stories that cover those themes in their plots, which has made the story a lot more fun to read and write outside of just being a cool concept to play with.

If you're writing a second-chance romance story, read romance stories. If you're writing a sci-fi story with lots of robots, read stories about robots. Presumably, you enjoy the same stories you're writing in concept if not in execution, so don't hesitate to seek those stories out, and break down how those stories work in order to scrap them for literary parts. You're smarter than you think you are, and breaking down stories is a lot of fun once you get the hang of it, so please consider doing this as you go into your next project, your writing will thank you for it!

OPTIONAL:

4) If the story works better as something else, swap the format and see what happens.

Have you ever read something and been like "Huh, I like this book, but with how iconography is used in the actual text, it might be better as a movie or a comic book"? So have I!

So, if you ever feel like the story you're writing isn't working so well as a novel or a play, consider turning it into a movie or a webcomic! Of course, this is all easier said than done, and every writing format comes with its own rules and limitations, but I'd give it a try if you ever want to see your project from a fresh perspective! If nothing else, you'll learn something new -- and become a better writer for it!

Til next time, beloveds~

__

PS. Take all advice with a grain of salt. I am not your parent or your principal, I'm just a lady with a writing degree and a lil free time. Take what resonates, leave what doesn't, etc. PLEASE SHARE THIS POST AROUND TO ANYONE WHO IT MIGHT HELP! THANKIES :3

KOFI: https://ko-fi.com/thepoetjean

[jermasubtitledofficial]

Hi everyone, I'm the official subtitle editor for 2ndJerma and Jerma Stream Archive. I've been working to make Jerma985's videos more accessible through closed captions and subtitles. Jerma985 videos are subtitled regularly. You can view the definitive playlist of them here:

I also provide play-by-play updates on Twitter (@JermaSubtitled) to keep you informed on when and which videos have captions finalized and published.

Subtitling is a labor-intensive task that requires a lot of time and effort, but it's worth it to make sure that everyone can enjoy Jerma's content. However, I don't receive official compensation for my work. (writing, reviewing and editing captions) Without official pay, it can be difficult to justify the time I put into managing subtitles. That's why I'm reaching out to the community for support.

If you appreciate the effort I put into providing subtitles, please consider supporting me on Patreon. You can join for as low as $3/month, and all proceeds go towards continuing to make Jerma's videos accessible. If you'd like to give a one-time tip instead, you can do so here. Every little bit helps and is greatly appreciated. Your funding is 100% responsible for keeping Jerma985 subtitles running.

I understand that not everyone is in a position to contribute financially, and that's okay! Just spreading the word and letting others know that these subtitles exist and are available is a huge help. Thank you for taking the time to read this post. With your help, we can do a great service for YouTube accessibility.

Up next, a recap of what happened in March 2023:

I update interested parties each month about what's been added, and I'll start posting them here if there's sufficient interest, plus any additional musings. So here's the recap from March:

The community has provided so many submissions I'm nearly overwhelmed! I have a lot to review. Every caption will be published, it's just a matter of time. Those not present have been added to the queue.

First, overlap from February is SCORN by me, Erasmus Magnus. It highlights an interesting conundrum of subtitling: how to intuitively portray something said for a deaf/HOH audience, in this case a filtered voice. Feedback I received including that of @maplecaster led to the final result, and I think it works tremendously well.

Second, we have The Short Sniper by community regular, kitpigeon. Short and sweet, high-quality subs for one of Jerma's low-profile videos. Great job.

Next, we have Receding Randy transcribed by @maplecaster. This was some fine stuff. I'm embarrassed how long it took me to sync it, but that's only because I'm something of a perfectionist. I try to limit the time sink, but I want the best for the subtitles, and it only makes sense to polish the time to be as good as the text content.

After that, we have an absolute classic in the form of Grab that Grotto 5—no relation to Grotto Beasts—by @graysaregay. Well done on this. I did some executive editing for some tricky stuff like the text-to-speech voice. I'm really glad this ol' classic nearing a million has captions now.

And finally, italoplumber has provided a German translation of The Max Cow Capacity Compulsion. Never would've guessed he was popular in DACH countries, but I suppose it makes sense. It's in his name. Willkommen in Jermany.

And that's it! If you want to see more about official Jerma985 subtitles, including musings and related information, consider following! And again, play-by-play updates can be found on Twitter at @JermaSubtitled.

[capnmachete]

Johnny Davis x plus-size fem!OC (Period piece -- mid-1960s, Bikeriders universe but canon-divergent)

PART 6: One Fine Day Good things come to those who wait. By-request tags: @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler; @zablife; @lou1333; @potter-solomons If anybody else wants to be tagged, just LMK. FYI: for better or worse this will likely pick up steam shortly, several upcoming chapters already in the can and being edited and oo I like where it's going, hopefully you will also. Minor drama and romance and some sweet/fluffy spice ahoy, batten down the hatches and hoist the whatever-it-is and all that good stuff LOL

(Part 1, Part 2. Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5)

A month goes by.  Two months.  You keep your eyes open for the big red Peterbilt, hopin’ it’ll be there one night when you show up to clock in. Stay late, lingerin' around awhile after you clock out, in case he shows up closer to sunrise.

For awhile, you hustle over to the windows every time you hear big tires crunch gravel and air brakes squeak.  Damn near drop whole plates of food, you’re so eager to go see if maybe it’s Johnny Davis. 

It ain’t.  Not in June, not in July either.  You’re about to bust one Tuesday evenin', about midshift -- practically bouncin' on your toes when you see a big red rig roll into the parkin’ lot.  Except when it gets a little closer, it’s a Kenworth.  And the driver that gets out don’t look anything like him – tall and skinny and bald as an egg, head all shiny in the sodium lights.

Nice enough fella, polite and all that. Still, it’s hard not to be snippy and sour with him; when his pancakes are ready you slap his plate down hard enough to make him jump a little.  It ain’t his fault he’s not Johnny Davis, but that don’t help your mood much.

Purvis don’t understand why you give him the stinkeye, either, and why you don’t have much to say to him lately.  “What’d I do?” he asks you more than once, confused, when you slop his coffee over the edge of the cup on purpose.

He purely has no idea what all was goin’ on in that booth between you and Johnny that other night.  What he interrupted.  Johnny -- quiet Johnny who don’t say much -- confidin’ in you, talkin’ about things you figure he don’t talk much about ever, to anybody.  And holdin’ your hand.  And who knows where it might have gone if it wasn’t for Purvis and his damn hashbrowns?

And you ain’t about to tell Purvis Williams your personal business and have it get spread all over town.  So he’ll just have to keep right on bein' confused, unless he wants to drive on down the highway to Eagle Grove for his breakfast instead. Which wouldn't hurt your feelin's a bit.

By the time the beginning of August rolls around, and Sharlette shows up with the ice cream and three different colors of fingernail polish, you’re startin' to think you might not ever see Johnny Davis again. 

“Who knows?” she says through a mouthful of butter pecan ice cream.  “You can’t never tell about men; they seem like they’re simple to figure out, but they ain’t, not really.” 

The two of you are sittin’ on the floor of your bedroom, faces full of night cream, cotton balls between your fresh-painted toes, hair up in curlers. Radio turned up so Momma can’t eavesdrop, like she likes to do.

Sharlette finally got tired of watchin’ you mope around at work.  Pried the whole story out of you, and then invited herself over for a girls’ night.  Got her momma to watch the baby. Bought butter pecan ice cream and everything, tryin’ to cheer you up.

“You think I mighta said somethin'?” you ask her – pickin’ apart every little minute of that night, not for the first time. "Or been too forward, maybe?"

“By doin’ what?  Jeez Louise, ‘Reena.  Ain’t like you climbed up on the man’s lap and asked him for a horsey ride,” she points out with a snort of laughter. 

“Sharlette!” you say, mouth droppin’ open in a mix of shock and laughter, pink-faced under the goopy white Noxema. 

“Don’t tell me you ain’t thought about it, Miss Prim,” she says, grinnin’ and jabbin’ her spoon at you.  “You ain’t as proper as you look.”

Hard not to grin back.  She’s right.  Maybe you ain’t thought about that exact thing, but you’ve thought about plenty else.   “I’m takin’ the Fifth,” you tell her.  “Ain’t that what they say on Perry Mason when they go to court?  Anyhow, it don’t matter. He’s married,” you remind her, a little blue.

“Thought he was divorced?”  One Noxema-slathered eyebrow lifts up.

“Was s’posed to be gettin’ divorced,” you correct her.  “Who knows, maybe him and the Mrs. patched things up or somethin’.”  The ice cream in your bowl’s gettin’ melty; you spoon the rest of it up real quick, partly to keep yourself from thinkin’ too much about that.

It ain’t like that kind of thing never happens.  People get all the way to the courthouse steps and decide they’re makin’ a mistake, decide to give it another go.  Happened to Gus once; happened to Momma too.  Still with Daddy, for whatever that’s worth, even though he’s just as dull as he ever was, never talks about anything but politics and pinkos and what wheat’s sellin’ for down at the mill. Would for sure explain why he ain't been around again.

“Naw.”  Sharlette shakes her head.  “I bet it ain’t that.  Prolly just one of those man things.  You know how they are.  They say a little too much, show you somethin’ they didn’t mean to show, and they get scairt.  Get to feelin’ embarrassed and shy and clam up again.  Start actin’ like they don’t know you.”

“ ‘s that what happened with Robbie?” you ask.  It ain’t none of your business, not really.  But y’all are already talkin’ real personal, and you’ve always wondered where Sharlette’s baby’s daddy got off to. 

“Pssh.”  Sharlette makes a sound like a deflatin’ balloon, and laughs.  “No. Robbie ain’t scairt of anything except havin’ to change diapers and act like a grownup.”  She sighs, a little blue herself.  “You want some more ice cream?” she asks, gettin’ up to go down to the kitchen.

“Hell yes, I do,” you say, and hand her your bowl.  Then you change your mind and heave yourself up off the floor to go with her.  “I think we got some chocolate sauce down there too.”

“Well now you’re talkin’!”  She grins and links her arm through yours, and for a short little while you forget all about your troubles.

****

By the end of another few weeks, you’ve pretty much resigned yourself to the idea that you probably ain’t ever gonna see Johnny again. Maybe Sharlette’s right; maybe he scared himself a little, openin’ up more than he meant to.  Or maybe you're right and he’s back with the Mrs., and steerin' clear of you and LaGrange.

It makes you sad.  Because even if nothin’ big really happened, and even if anythin’ past friendship was just a daydream anyway, you miss seein’ him, miss talkin.’  You wouldn’t mind havin’ that back, even if that’s all you get.  But it don’t seem like that’s in the cards, and pretty soon you don’t go runnin’ to the window at the diner quite so often anymore.

You’re resigned enough that you actually give Smooth Melvin Hoskins– that’s the only way you can think of him now, and it makes you laugh and feel a little sad all at once – another chance.  This date’s not as bad as the first time.  A burger joint instead of a seedy bar, and he’s not quite as handsy this time, but it’s still nothin’ to write home about.  Same ol’ haw-haw laugh, same Skoal breath, same ol' everything.

You get dinner and a strawberry milkshake out of it, at least. And a ride to work afterwards, which doubles as a handy excuse not to go to the drive-in with Melvin after dinner.  And that’s good, because all that’s gonna do is wind up with him tryin’, not for the first time, to get into your panties, and that’s just not happenin’.  Not with Smooth Melvin.  Not lookin’ to be Mrs. Hoskins or even anything close to it, and for sure not lookin’ to end up like Sharlette.

And lo and behold, what do you see when Melvin pulls into the parkin’ lot at the diner to drop you off?  There’s the big red Peterbilt in the parkin’ lot, for the first time in months, big as sin and twice as shiny.  And your heart does a weird little flip.  And you near about bolt out of Melvin’s Chevy.  You almost trip over a big rock mixed in with the gravel, that’s how eager you are to get inside. 

Which is when you know for sure you’ve still got an almighty crush on Johnny Davis. One you thought had petered out, one you were pretty sure you'd talked yourself out of.

Guess not. Not the way your heart's thumpin' when you hustle across the parkin' lot.

“Dang! Don’t I get a goodnight kiss, even?” Melvin calls after you out the driver’s side window.

“Maybe next time, I gotta go!  I’m late!” you holler back without even turnin’ around. And bust in the glass door, the little bell over it ringin’ like crazy.  Everybody in the place looks up – Gus, big-boobied Tiffany, Purvis from the feedstore. Mr. and Mrs. Hoover from the farm up the road, plus a couple of other truck jockeys, from other big rigs out in the lot.

And Johnny.  Who smiles, pretty blue-grey eyes lightin' up and crinklin' around the corners.  “Hey, lookit who it is,” he calls out and raises his white china mug in your direction.  “Miss Corinna!”   And you can feel yourself smilin’ back, so wide you're surprised your face doesn't split in two.

It takes you a few minutes to clock in – fizzin’ and bubblin’ over inside like a glass of Coca Cola – and get back out there into the dining room, and fill a few coffee cups and pass out a few plates. Tiffany cuts her eyes at you when she clocks out, like she can't hardly believe Johnny's talkin' to you instead of her, and you grin back, pleased as punch. And maybe a little smug.

“I shouldn’t oughta have dumped all that on ya, last time i was here,” he says, when you finally get a minute and sit down on the other side of the booth between customers – stealing away a minute for your customary shared cup of coffee.  “ ‘m sorry,” he says, ducking his head a little. "That was a lot; I don't know what got into me."

“Stop it,” you say, waving him away with a plump pink-nailed hand.  “That’s what friends are for, and we’re friends, right?”

He lifts his head and a smile blooms across his face – the one that makes him look like a boy in a grown man’s body, brings a sparkle to tired dark-blue eyes.  “Yeah,” he admits, with a chuckle, chewin’ on a toothpick.  “Yeah, I guess we are, ain’t we?”   And looks at you in a way that feels like somethin’ maybe a little bigger than just friends.  Makes you all warm and tingly inside. And he lays his hand over yours this time, and don’t let it go until Gus starts hollerin’ and bangin’ on the little silver bell like his hair’s on fire.

------

Song inspo: One Fine Day, the Chiffons (1963)

[galedekarios]

First of all, thank you for your never-ending dedication to creating content about our beloved Wizard.

After having played much of Act I at my best friend's house, part of me is eager to try the game in its entirety and experience the romance with Gale at my own pace, but after seeing your very accurate analysis of the lack of content and the disparity in terms of his character's story, I was quite disappointed. Rose, do you think I should buy the game considering the plot hole that Larian reinforced? I'd be lying if I said Gale isn't the reason I want to get a copy of BG3, as silly as that might be. I trust your opinion, that's why I'm asking.

you're very welcome, thank you for your message! 🖤

i don't feel comfortable saying what you should be spending your money on.

what i can say from my own personal experience is that i still had fun playing the game, despite my many criticism of the game itself and larian as a company.

the combat is very fun to me, so if that is something that you also had fun with while you played act 1 then that could be a plus for you. if you are playing on pc, the mods that are out there also add a lot of variety and quality of life stuff.

i think what is important to keep in mind from my personal perspective as someone who has played early access and the full release of the game: act 1 is the most polished part about the game. there are no buts or ifs here. it's where the most interactions happen, between you, your companions and the world around them. it's where most of the secret areas are to be explored and where many quests, small and big, happen.

i'm saying this because act 1 can't be used as a fair metric of what to expect from the rest of the game.

act 1 has been polished largely by early access player feedback over several years. the other acts didn't have that advantage. act 2 is still good because the atmosphere is great and ketheric is an amazing antagonist, but it lacks all those little secrets you can find and the quests there are minimal. i also still maintain my opinion that act 3 is an unstructed narrative mess and one that i doubt will ever be fixed, unlike what larian did for dos2 with the definitive edition. in both of these acts interactions with the companions grow very rare (with the exception of as*trion across all 3 acts and shadowheart in act 2), the quests are often bugged, and the choices you make just... cease to matter most of the time.

if you are only interested in gale's story, i might actually advocate waiting for a sale if you have the patience to spare. because sadly, the reality is depending on which companions you prefer, with larian, you do get less content for the same money. larian does those sales very rarely, but i've seen it happen. so i would wait until the game drops in price. i've seen a sale recently which dropped the price to something around 40-50 bucks for the standard edition, which is still expensive but i think more justified.

[rapid-artwork]

Are you planning to continue your ‘red lotus korra’ au?

Actually yes! I had to step away from my online art projects for a while due to my job obligations, but I've switched to a new job and have way more free to finish all the stuff I've been putting off.

My current schedule for finishing projects looks like this:

Mother's Favorite: I've written most of the script for the full game and I'm working on the assets and sprites

The Homunculus: I've actually been writing a full length fantasy novel that I'm in the process of publishing! Since it was started as writing practice, it's still very rough and I am polishing it up.

Red Lotus AU: Obviously I'm on a writing kick and I literally just re-read my fic and I'm already working on new ideas for the plot.

More Paper craft robots: I literally cannot stop making these little guys. They are actually for a homebrew table top I've been working on based on Armored Core 6 and after some play-testing I was thinking about publishing a PDF of the rules for free. Plus once I've edited the paper craft files enough I was planning on selling those online for like, a dollar or two for people who want to try making their own at home, and even opening commissions to build custom robots for people and shipping them through the mail.

Patreon Card game: I'm in the process of shutting down my old Patreon since I no longer feel comfortable asking for money since art is not my full time job. But I want to deliver on the card game I promised. I recently got into the Pokemon TCG and Magic the gather again, and I have a whole slew of ideas on how to fix the game and streamline it.

Rapid Pixel Art and Tara and Kevin: My children... I have abandoned my children... I intend to bring these guys back and actually tell their story. I have both of their plots fully written I just actually gotta... Do it ya know?

Mother's Favorite Sequel: Yeah the sequel is already in the works since I am insane. It's a murder mystery aboard a space ship where you have to interview the crew and figure out what happened. It follows a new protagonist but it slowly reveals how the two games intersect in horrifying ways. Imagine that episode of Firefly where they find the ship attacked by Reavers crossed with John Carpenter's The Thing and you've got a good idea of what I'm going for.

Various other WIPs that have been rattling around in my brain.

I've been dealing with ADHD my whole life but finally got an official diagnosis and new medication. It literally feels like an anime where I take of my limiters and I can suddenly use my full power.

I have all the same manic energy but finally enough focus to actually follow through on projects I started. I used to just start stuff cuz it interested me until I got bored and moved on.

No longer says I! I am gonna out in the work and finish what I started. I am going for the platinum medal and 100% completion this time.

[zestysthoughts]

Tep Tons: Albums

10. The Break of Dawn (Blue In Green) Smooth all the way through, this is full of music to just kinda vibe to, similarly to what you'd find hosted by Lofi Girl. Along with much of Gramatik's early work, it's the album that helped fuel my initial interest in the hip-hop style, especially with jazz elements. Here's a taste!

9. This Time (Los Lobos) I don't often listen to rock, but it's actually what I grew up with. At the center was AC/DC, Smash Mouth, and Linkin Park. In the periphery and having at most a single album I'd listen to, were Crossfade, 3 Doors Down, Finger Eleven, and Los Lobos. This Time sticks out as being not emo edgy and full of cringe-worthy self-pity. It's got energy, variety, and good vibes all around. Here's a taste!

8. Small Plates (J3PO) Short and sweet, this is one of those sketch albums, filled with some of the many snippets thought up and created by the artist. I love the existence of albums like this, as some of the real banger ideas that never get a full produced song can see the light of day while the artist is still alive, Small Plates (and Sweet Treats) having some of my favorites by J3PO. Here's a taste!

7. Fantastic (Slum Village) I couldn't pick one of the volumes, so I'm going with all of them lol. I love the wonky Dilla-time, as anyone who's seen my music recommendations would know. I love the unfinished feel of Vol. 1 with a bunch of really bumpin' beats that unfortunately never made it past this point, and I love that they revisited and polished a bunch of them and for Vol. 2, then there's the further edited version of 2, complete with hilarious and heartfelt testimonials at the end of some of the tracks. Here's a Taste!

6. Funk Blaster EP (KOAN Sound) While there's no one album that incapsulates my dubstep phase, this one was definitely the most prominent. It's funky, wubby, and well-composed. I'll admit I am "that guy" when it comes to KOAN Sound, I liked them better during their early experimental days, until Polychrome when they made a habit of putting 2 different songs in 1 track. Honorable mention to Risky Endeavors Here's a taste!

6.5. Planet Neutral (Getter)

5. Things Fall Apart (The Roots) One of the newest additions, The Roots has become one of my favorite bands ever. Through and through, this is but one of the masterpieces created in the Soulquarians sessions at Electric Lady Studio, filled with banger after banger. Honorable mention to the Deluxe Edition, featuring some of my favorite Roots songs ever. Here's a taste!

4. Astro Lounge (Smash Mouth) Yes I know, it's the one with All Star. Like I said, Smash Mouth was one of my favorite bands growing up, and Astro Lounge just has a special place in my heart. The title I think sums it up best, feels like you're in a cozy futuristic lounge, or at least the idea of futuristic people had in the late 90's. Here's a taste!

3. Random Album Title (Deadmau5) Another one I'm nostalgic for, this is the ultimate vibe album for me. The somewhat droning and repetitive nature of it, plus the seamless mix between songs, gives it a video game soundtrack quality in that it's great for just putting on in the background while you're doing stuff. Unfortunately Spotify is being weird and there's like 3 slightly different versions of it with the same name. Here's a taste!

2. Plastic Beach (Gorillaz) Aright it's another nostalgic one, this I think is the first physical CD I ever bought. I love the metaphorically nautical/maritime theme, and as per usual with the Gorillaz, there's a great variety in musical styles. Plus there's a kickass music video for Stylo. Here's a taste!

1. Djesse (Jacob Collier) I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, Jacob Collier is the greatest musical mind of our time. This album has such a profound effect on me I can't fully describe. Whenever I sit to listen to any part of it, it feels like a hug that gives you the warm shivers, it tickles my ears, and almost always I well up. Djesse is the work of a man who thoroughly explores the depths of music and sound, travels the world to learn, combines it all in unique ways, and all the while exuding this infectious energy and curiosity. Here's a taste!

[tinyozlion]

Ah dang, it's November already? Incredible. Very inconsiderate of linear time to keep progressing this way.

Anyway, this blog will continue to be slow for a while; I got hit with two devastating back-to-back family losses and then immediately afterwards got sick. So, mental energy reserves at the moment are pretty tapped. Which is very frustrating! because I know exactly what I want to write but I have no juice in the tank to write it. Instead I have been drawing blorbo self care.

On the other hand, I've been doing a lot of informative background reading; Radetzky March by Joseph Roth, Der Rote Kampflieger and a early aviation history stuff, a lot of essays. Plus, I've been catching up with the original U.C. Gundam timeline, which I've been meaning to do since FOREVER. All good things to put in the brain that happen to be tangentially related to GW, for the fixation must feed.

Every time I see new notes and commentary on here I am filled with delight and excitement that people are actually finding my stuff even when I'm not posting. I am also predictably consumed with anxiety about all my less polished entries, frantically editing things behind the scenes knowing full well that this is a futile endeavor for the mistakes have already been immortalized in reblogs... Such is the way.

I hope those who partake had a magnificent Halloween, and that the rest of the year will be kind to you. I know the world is especially violent at present.

For November, have an especially goofy looking Scorpio from the Chartres Cathedral. Look at this idiot. Even his tail looks disappointed.

Yours ever, Wesley, and to a lesser extent, Tinylion

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Writing Questions

--Thanks @lexiklecksi for tagging me on this! These questions made me think a little, so it's taken a while...

What is your absolute all-time favourite ideas you’ve ever had?

--One of my short stories finds my protagonist facing the people she's hurt in her dreams. If she doesn't find a way to conquer those challenges, she could die or lose her eternal soul.

--I like the idea for Iodine a lot--the girl finds out her family is alive, running organized crime in their homeland, but she hasn't been there in years and is acquiesced in her new identity. The futuristic world of Iodine, which takes place in the midst of a civil war, should play on my knowledge of history and political science.

--I have a story where a guy has to hunt for human/animal hybrids in Ethiopia, which should play my background and politics with fantasy. It should be interesting!

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

Somebody asked something about my musical, but I don't quite remember it.

What is your favourite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

My favorite part of being a writer is coming up with something which is actually quite good! Just getting an idea, writing something, and seeing it bloom is just really good. What makes it better is if somebody enjoys it as well. On the other hand, the rewrites can really stunt my work, as I'm not sure how to approach them. While it gives me an opportunity to write from another perspective (as I'm doing with Iodine's second draft), I wonder when enough is enough.

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

I feel like I have an obligation to create, so to tell stories and to make people feel better. In addition, I want to tell some truths which I couldn't really express through speech, as well as feel what other people are feeling.

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

Somebody once said that to make it as a writer, I'd have to treat it as a job. I'm still not sure how to approach writing, whether as a major career of as a side hustle, but writing does take discipline, especially concerning how to get stuff done!

What is your favourite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

While not fully polished, I'm proud of this short story, because of the different lenses involved. Still struggling for a title, though; what ideas do you have?

I like this one, inspired by a Florence and the Machine song lyric. I could imagine this one being expanded to a longer and more horrific story.

The Prostitute: Because of the inspiration involved and the imagery I used. Plus, it can get dark at times.

What is your favorite out-of-the-box quote?

The classic "write drunk, edit sober", especially considering that I hardly drink alcohol.

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

While Amber (the princess of Vela) and Dr. Shira Mizrahi have pretty dark methods to get their way, they mostly operate out of care for their own people. They have a little bit of arrogance about them due to their abilities, but they mean well. And I could understand that sentiment (one's trying to protect her country, another her family), especially when it feels like you're all alone in the world.

One character I have in mind is Hilda Adalbjorg Vigdis, the queen of a fantasy realm. She's descended from disgraced royals from a faraway realm who tried to take over the fantasy realm. While she uses her newfound power to develop the kingdom, she also has a superiority complex which scares the civilians a lot, especially as she was an usurper of a long-beloved dynasty. At the time of this book, she's incapitated, so I could imagine feeling sympathy for her, though her real intents would come to light eventually.

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

I think my younger self would wonder why my works are quite dark, as well as when my novels were going to be published. :)

@fragiledewdrop, @prasannawrites, @andromedaexists, @violetsinsummer, what about you?

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

Smol's Demonverse: How The Hell Does Hell Work?

Hello, this is the post with my outline of different demon types in my Demonverse plus a basic idea on how Hell works! Now admittedly, it may not be the most original or polished thing; this is basically my playground where I plonk any OC designs that aren't fandom related or connected to my Big Project/any potential projects in the future. Edits may be made, but for now, this is the basic gist of it. Should also give you an idea for what I mean when I talk about Viceroys and stuff in my OC ref sheets! It's going under a read more because fuck me there's a lot to get through. Enjoy <3

How The Hell Does Hell Work?

Hell is where sinners go when they die. That much is obvious. But what constitutes a “sinner”? There’s a surprising amount of wiggle room in terms of how much ‘sin’ someone can commit and still go to Heaven. It’s a matter of a) intention, and b) consequence. How much malice is behind an action and how large the impact of the action all adds up in the end. So, say someone found the cure for syphilis and pancreatic cancer, should be a one way ticket to Heaven, right? However, if they found these cures whilst trying to find a way to eradicate autism and gay people or then patented their treatments to sell them at extortionate prices, then you’re headed Down There. Similarly, someone who ends up poisoning a bunch of children because they, say, tried to make some delicious cakes and sweets for the kids and had no idea that a certain ingredient was toxic or something the kids were allergic to, and felt genuine remorse for their actions, it’s not actually a guaranteed trip to Hell (although those consequences must be paid for. Maybe some Celestial Community Service).

Even then, there’s some confusion. If Hell is meant to punish sinners, then does that make demons good? Again, not so simple. Lest we forget, temptation is a big part of things. It’s easy to be good if the option to be bad has simply never presented itself in your life, so a true test of character is to be presented with the sinful option, and see how one handles it. Again, does this make the demon offering temptation a good person who wants to aid in your personal growth? Not necessarily. 

There are several types of residents in Hell, which can be classified as follows:

Sinners

Sinners are people from Earth who have died and gone to Hell. Mortal souls. When one arrives in Hell, most tend to experience some change in their appearance, influenced by their life, their reason for being here, and their beliefs. One thing that always happens for some reason, is that they end up with three fingers as opposed to the normal four. No one is entirely sure why this happens. Other changes often involve skin changing to pure white, black, or some other colour, changes in eye and hair colour, as well as hair length. Some people gain wings, tails, horns are also incredibly common but a rare few end up without. Some gain more animalistic qualities such as claws, fangs, tails, animal legs, even full anthropomorphisation. 

When a Sinner arrives in Hell, they are often brought to a Higher Demon and assigned living space. Life in Hell is similar to life on Earth, in that there are cities and towns full of businesses and restaurants and the like, but everything is run by the worst people humanity has witnessed. It’s a tough life to be certain, made even worse by the assigned torture. The Boss quite quickly figured out that torture is much more effective when the victims are given a break. So, a schedule is laid out; sinners are allowed time to settle into their new life, until at some point another demon will come and collect them for a certain amount of torturing, before being let go, and the process repeats itself. Some of the Higher Ups have found that they needn’t bother torturing everyone, as it turns out a lot of Sinners will gladly hurt each other for free. However, nothing quite beats a paid professional, and so, certain Sinners are offered official work in Hell, either paperwork and classification, or torture, or temptation.

They’ve also been placed into different Districts, usually based around their main Sin/crime, although there can be some overlap as people are rarely guilty of just one Sin. Another method, therefore, is to place them in a neighbourhood surrounded by fellow Sinners, say, those who mostly committed Greed, but then a professional from the Lust district will come collect them for torture at some point. Honestly, just living another life surrounded by reminders of yourself is hell enough for some.

Embodiments/Overlords

Embodiments are Hell-born demons or spirits that were incarnated as mortals to become the embodiment of a certain sin. These are the ones who get to run their own little areas in their Districts, similar to a crime family (except for Narcolep, he has others do it for him). They don’t run the entire area, they report to Higher Ups, but they hold a lot of power over the lower demons. Funnily enough, in the Lust District, more Succubi, aka Tempters, are Overlords than Embodiments (I guess people respond better to a sexy demon than a slobbering incel who’s never seen a tit that wasn’t from anime)

Tempters

Tempters are often Hell-born demons whose purpose is to tempt mortals into sin and see if they can bring them over to the Dark Side, but mortal souls can also apply for such a role. They’re similar to Embodiments as chances are, they indulged in a particular Sin so much that they’d love to do it as their job. These have their own subroles, the most well-known being Succubi/Incubi and Dealmakers.

Succubi

Followers of Lust, these Hellborn demons rely on either being summoned to Earth by mortals messing with dark magic for a quick lay, or make their way to Earth to tempt mortals personally, getting them to sign over the soul in exchange for carnal pleasure. The latter is more challenging but therefore sometimes seen as more ‘fun’. The most powerful Succubus is known as Demistress, with her six daughters destined to follow in her steps. Succubi feed upon the carnal energy of their claims, but when it’s time to collect the soul, it’s either a matter of the mortal dying naturally or having agreed upon a certain timeframe for their soul to be collected, at which point, the soul descends to Hell, and the Succubus who claimed it has personal control/say over it. This often amounts to being the one to torture their claim, or continue their carnal relationship in Hell. Many Succubi and Incubi have gotten themselves some nice little harems from this.

Dealmakers

These demons have the qualifications to go to Earth and forge contracts with mortals and claim a soul for their District. They’re often independent contractors, and set up shop on Earth rather than residing in Hell, though some don’t mind the commute. They’re often known as Crossroads Demons, but can decide their base of operations for themselves, so long as they report to their Viceroy or Overlord. They often vary in power levels, with former mortal souls starting out naturally weaker than Hellborn Dealmakers, but build their way up by claiming and punishing souls (and making some deals with demons more powerful than themselves).

Summonables

These are demons who have a licence to respond to summons from humans. They tend to pay a fee to trademark their own sigil/ritual which can then be published in books by professionals. Summonables tend to have specialised in a type of magic to fill their own niche gaps in the markets. Many Succubi are unsurprisingly Summonables.

Haunters

These are what you likely think of when you hear the word ‘demon’. Hellborn creatures more beast-like than other Hellborns, they do not want to punish the truly evil or lure people into temptation out of spite or fun, they’re much simpler than that; they are evil. They’re bound by certain rules like all demons, but for the most part, these are the monsters mortals tell stories about. Creatures that simply want to kill and maim because they want to kill and maim, they tend not to even care where their murdered souls end up or even having control over them. Mischievous, cruel, and bloodthirsty, other demons prefer to keep their distance, and the Haunters are fine with this.

Tormentors

These are the demons who are tasked with torturing Sinners. Either Hell-born or hired Sinners who torment others to avoid it happening to themselves, and are often also Dealmakers or Succubi. They are given a select number of souls they are tasked with punishing to meet a quota. Honestly, it’s half torture but also half paperwork describing how/why they’ve punished a soul a certain way. These are smaller in number and often directly serve Overlords and Viceroys, and are therefore some of the most feared demons in Hell. In terms of political power however, they rank quite lowly, as they are pretty much thugs and secretaries.

The Viceroys

These are the Higher Ups who carry out the orders and wishes of the Deadly Sins. They allow the Overlords their territories within their own, truly ruling their District Sections. They keep the denizens of Hell in line, therefore hold the most power behind the Sins and Lucifer himself. The Viceroys are a mix of demons who want to build up their District populations and those who want humans to stop sinning and see those down in Hell as truly deserving of punishment. This can lead to disputes amongst themselves and their Overlords, although the most common point of contention is whose boss has more claim over a soul (as in, what was their main sin)

The Gula Five

The most powerful of the Viceroys. The five forms of Gluttony with the most control over their District, all of them working together better than the other Viceroys, although they do get along with a fair few of them as well as the Sins themselves.

[infernal-house-demon]

I have been writing nearly every day without fail. Since starting my current wip in February, I have written two instalments in what will be a four (or potentially five) book series. The word count of those two books is a little more than the whole hunger games trilogy combined.

People keep asking me how I am doing this. I truly don’t know. I think it’s a bunch of things converging together?

Tldr: emerge from years long burnout, be autistic with storytelling special interest, get medicated for your adhd, take care of yourself— oh, and actual writing advice like build a routine, engage critically with other media, don’t be your own worst critic until you reach the editing stage, write something you genuinely like, and you don’t have to have it figured out from the top. Writing is literally just making shit up and making more shit up to justify it. Now go write my beautiful darlings!

Writing regularly. Getting in the habit of doing it makes it easier to start every time. I’ve been lucky to have a lot of time on my hands recently so I’ve been able to get a lot accomplished.

Not giving a shit if it’s good. I don’t mean write garbage. You should still like and enjoy it. But don’t agonize over every detail. If you can’t think of how to describe something perfectly, do what you can and move on. Writing is for getting the ideas down. Editing is for polish. Make something you like but don’t pressure yourself to make it perfect. (If it makes you feel better, my editor pointed out I completely forgot to describe several of the main characters. Sometimes when you write a scene it’s just dialogue and vibes. You’ll fix it later.)

If you try to build out every detail of the world before you start, you’ll never start. Get place names and important details and customs down, then make shit up as you go along. Remember of course that you will then have to write within the confines of that shit, but don’t worry, you can always make changes! That’s the beauty of editing. (Editor me is so bad for the amount of work I give them, but that’s their job so 🤷🏻)

If you have a really clear idea of a scene, write it immediately! For the most part, I do like to write linearly, but if I have ideas for scenes or snippets of dialogue, I will write them all down right away. Then you’re not slogging through anything just to get to that scene you really want to write. This is especially helpful if you’re writing a series and the scene is very far away. Write it now.

Have a cutting room floor document! I can’t tell you how many times I had to cut things that didn't serve the plot in the moment only for them to fit perfectly into future instalments! It hurts to cut stuff you feel is really good, so keep it! You might use it later!

The rest of these are about to get very specific to me but they are what is genuinely part of what has helped

Take a big long break from your creative hobbies. After i graduated uni, i was thoroughly burnt out. I stopped painting, I didn't write often (only the occasional fic bc it was easier on my brain). I will say writing fanfic was a big help because it gave me an idea of the character dynamics, themes, and plot points I most enjoyed writing. Then I translated all of that into my current wip. But the point of this is not to push yourself if you feel burnt out. Take what opportunities you can to rest and leave your hobbies behind for a while if that's what you need. They will be there waiting for you. I spent a solid year and a half doing almost nothing. Most of my creative energy went into digital art, and even then i wasn't creating frequently. It's okay. You need the rest.

Get medicated for adhd. Obviously this is very me-specific but I realized I had undiagnosed adhd. I had actually been given meds to try in the past but the side effects were too strong. Finally, i went back to my doctor and he helped me figure out a new one to try plus dosage and all that (I know I'm lucky that i have a good doc). The one I'm on now gives me minimal side effects and really helps my motivation and energy.

Take care of your body first. Before I could emerge from burnout and get my super creativity boost I put in a lot of work on my health. I have chronic pain, so learning what helped and what didn't has been really important. Things like fixing my sleep schedule, making sure to eat regularly, listening to my body's needs were all things I had to do before I could get into a space where I felt up to creating. (I am still working on this one. It isn't easy and I am in pain every day. Sometimes that means no writing and that's fine. Wellbeing comes first.)

Be autistic and have storytelling be your special interest. Idk what to tell you about this one. I am autistic and I have always been fascinated by creating stories, why we tell stories, the stories that have lasting impact in our lives, etc. I did my undergrad in English and my upcoming masters program is in Anthropology where i plan to write my thesis on mythology. So, uh, get yourself an autistic special interest and let it fuel your writing.

Okay that was gonna be the last one but I just remembered a really important one. CONSUME OTHER MEDIA! A lot of people will tell you to read in order to write better, and that's 100% true. But like I said, I was in burnout after I graduated, and having read so much in my English degree, I did not want to look at another book ever again. I read maybe like 3 books in the last two years (it was the Lord of the Rings Trilogy which I have already read and I was in lotr hyperfixation mode). But engaging critically with any media will help you improve your own skills. Read a book, read some poetry, watch a show your friend recommended, listen to a podcast on a topic that interests you, listen to an audiobook, whatever! Then think about it and ask yourself what works and what doesn't. Then ask yourself why it does or doesn't work. Is it just a matter of preference? Or is it the word choice, the rhythm of the punctuation, the structure, the character arcs and voices. I have read a lot of poetry in the last couple years bc it tends to be shorter and gives my brain that quick hit my adhd loves. And I promise you it not only made me a better poet, but also helped my description in prose.

Anyway, that's all I can think of for now. I'd love to do another post about my inspirations/recommendations of media. But I'll do that later. I hope this is vaguely helpful to anyone, and if not, oh well! I had fun coming up with it.

[look-at-the-soul]

Hi! It's gossip girl! I hope your days been good! I've been pretty good. School has been a bit crazy and I'm a bit stressed by the work I have but I've also been procrastinating a but more than I should on it which probably isn't a good thing😂 I think I've started trying to write at times to avoid my school work, because it helps me kinda relax too. But over all it's still been pretty good!

Oohh I did read part two!! I liked it a lot!! Especially how you wrote about some of the darker parts of the modeling industry! Those were very good! And yes, Lenny totally deserved better!!

And I think I've found a lot of inspiration for background characters in my writing from my friends and just people around😂 it's amazing how one thing they say or do can inspire a part of a story!!

Then yes! Being surprised is great!. I kinda feel the same way about interacting too😂 I'm kinda scared of like putting too much out or like interacting once in some way (like an ask or reblog or comment) and then maybe not again for a while because of anxiety or some reason and that person thinks I don't like them or their stuff😅 I always do it's just I don't know what to say sometimes or can't get it out! But I have been able to do it a little bit more since I got back!

I am almost done with the story I sent in an ask about, I think I just need to edit it now and find a good time to get it up!

And OMG yes! Alfie's POV would be brilliant, I'd love to see his background and what he did while Tommy wasn't there. Also it would mean that we might get to see domestic Alfie with Cyril which is just 😘😘😂😂

And definitely let me know! I'd be eager to hear!

I think I do the same thing that you do with Lenny, that I do with Jonathan  Crane in the Batman Movies😂 Like I know he's crazy but Cillian is so fun to watch! There's one scene in the first one where like Batman breaks into his hide out and Crane is like looking up and goes like "he's here" or something and idk why by I just love that whole scene so much.😅😂 

And honestly I'm also kinda with you on the Sherlock stuff. I liked the show, but I think overall I was much more into the RDJ movies. I think it was because it was in the historical setting with I'm a sucker for. I think they just announced the 3rd one is in development this months and I really hope it's true!!!😂😂ALSO GUESS WHAT! I was watching actually the second RDJ Sherlock movie and guess who showed up as Sebastian Moran? PAUL ANDERSON!!!! I heard his voice and recognized it and told my dad like "That's Arthur Shelby!!!" And we both laughed because he looks so different in the movies than Peaky. And yeah, it made me laugh thinking of Arthur Shelby trying to fight Sherlock Holmes and what not😂 

And yes! There are those two movies about Agatha Cristi's Hercule Poirot Mysteries and they were both brilliant!!! I especially liked the first one!! Murder on the Orient express!!

And I'm starting to love nail designs too!  I still always loved watching those videos!! I've actually recently gotten stuff to try the nail stamping which is really cool! It takes a bit of practice but the little designs from the cheap stamping plates I bought look really cool if I get it to work! Plus it would mean when I get my nails done I could do like just the base coat and if I wanted a design I could do it at home and not pay like $10  extra for each design! And they have some pretty cool ones to but😂😂  The lip color I like is Birthday Suit by Revlon, but they have a whole line of colors and nail polish colors that match. I also like that it's relatively cheap compared so some other brands😅 And I've heard of places that do that! I've always wanted to try!! 

Also 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 all the fingers crossed!! That sounds like a really fun concert to go too!! I've only ever been to three of them actually myself. I liked the music but I think there were just too many people for me and I got a bit overstimulated but the people and noise after a bit, but I still had tons of fun!!😅😅😂 the last one I did was a Thomas Rhett Tour in like 2019😂. But the one I really enjoyed the most was actually when Hugh Jackman preformed in Atlanta the same year! I loved it! He even do a routine where he tap danced to ThunderStruck which may still be the best thing I've ever seen🤣😂 Fingers crossed you get your tickets!!! 

It was great chatting with you too❤️❤️Hope to talk soon too!! And who knows, even if you won't see me, maybe you'll see something I've done soon too😂😆🥰🥰 

XoXo GG

Hey GG! I didn’t want to leave this message hanging for a long time in my drafts, so we’ll have lots of things to chat :)

Last night there was such a storm and one of my puppies was super scared around 2:00 am, I stayed up hugging her 🥺 thunders are so scary for such a little baby ♥️ and is raining again so I will use it as inspiration to write…

Oh I’m sorry to hear that! I know school Can be so stressful, but hang in there, it will get better. Totally agree with that! Writing is so good to relax, it passes the time and you barely notice anything else 🥰 (if only we could do it all the time).

Yeah? You liked it? I’m so happy to hear that! I’m planning part 3, but I don’t have anything written yet, although in my mind, I have the entire chapter figured out, it’s funny how I just can’t come around to actually write it. I thought it would be a good approach, to be honest I didn’t plan for it to be like the major plot but it turned out that way.. okay, we Can keep “fixing” baby Lenny in fics 😉

I love how it sounds! I do it all the time too, like the way someone looks at their partner, a small gesture, a line… there’s inspiration everywhere!

Oh no, well you know yourself better than I do obviously but don’t ever feel like that at least not here, I understand anxiety is something huge and sometimes it plays against us, making us feel insecure about something (trust me, I’ve been there), sometimes I’m thinking I will bother someone by asking this or approaching for x, because in real life I think (or maybe is just me), I’ve been rejected and I’m afraid it will happen again so I retrieve and prefer to watch from afar, but not you, you’re always welcome here! 🥰 that’s right sometimes is hard to put into words how we feel, but I’m glad to know you felt encouraged enough to write me that first time and you kept coming back, to me it means so much because I feel like in some way, we clicked? Or connected and you felt like safe (or at least I hope so).

OMG what?? That’s great news! Lots of progress here!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I’m so so excited to hear that!!

You know, I’ve been reading some Alfie fics and I have to admit he’s been growing in my heart, his character was full of potential! We need like that side of him, I think he’s such a big fluffy bear 😂 and they owe us the Cyril story how he and Alfie met, and how was the dynamic once Tommy “adopted” him.

Jonathan is a treat to see! I bet he has this weird fetish or something like will have you gasping 🫢 I don’t know why, that or a completely different personality… oh I think is when he also says “the bat-man” with his beautiful voice and his hair looks greasy?? I love that! I have one more request to write about him too, I should start working on that this weekend :)

Yeah, I understand they didn’t continue with the films because RDJ was also in this other character of Tony Stark but I liked him better as Sherlock, I think he and Jude Law should work together again. What?!! No way!! Really?? 👀 I need to watch it, I don’t remember! Oh my my!!! Yes! I totally get that is so weird to see him in other character, but I swear I don’t remember (and I’m supposed to be a Sherlock fan!) haha

I need to google those films!! Bet they are amazing, and I don’t know why I’m almost sure I saw the other day they are making another movie about another book! Although don’t ask me which one because I don’t remember 😂 oh shushsss where did I see it? 🤔

I love stamps!!! Stop!! I bought the stamps, machine and plates but I was a fail 😂😭 couldn’t get it right hahaha is harder than it looks! But the final result is amazing! You need like a heavy nail polish, oh please if you find a way, let me know because I was utterly frustrated that I couldn’t do it right 😂😂😂 I need a slow motion diy video or something, but I’m sure you will do it better than I did and you could even make money out of it 😉

Oh stop! That color is amazing! I loved it 😍 and revlon is a great brand! They’re always making the exact same colors than expensive brands and revlon and maybelline for example last longer, I love it, buy another one whenever you can because you will ran out of it one day if you like it so much.

Oh May the concert fairies be with us! I’m going to see Adele in June!!! A dream, I’ve followed her career since she started and I’m super excited for this Vegas residency ♥️ before the pandemic I was all concerts it was one of my favorite activities to do, to enjoy a moment like that, carefree… this is the second or third concert I will attend so I’m excited! Never heard of Thomas Rhett before, any song you’d particularly suggest? Oh one of my friends is súper fan of Hugh she went to a show too, said it was amazing! Thank you, you’re so sweet. I didn’t buy the tickets for the festival, but I’m hoping Westlife will do about her show on their own (I see lots of fans in the US requesting a tour here, so maybe I will have a chance to see them…) 🤞🏻

You can’t even imagine how much joy your chats give me, makes me wonder how it would be in real life to talk and talk and talk for hours like this, oh I really look forward to!!! 🥰

Have a great and safe weekend and enjoy the days off xx

[tehuti88-art]

12/23/22: r/SketchDaily theme, "Holiday Free Draw Friday." (Sorry, I use Free Draw Fridays to practice my characters although I'm not too good at it. I may draw something holidayish soon.)

This week's character from my anthro WWII storyline is Untersturmführer (2nd Lt.) Paul Wozniak, sans cap (top drawing) and with cap (bottom drawing). He's one of the bad guys but has a secret that would make the other bad guys turn on him in an instant if they knew. There'll be more about him later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

Regarding his design, he's a gray poodle. (My poodle characters don't have those goofy fluffy cuts.)

TUMBLR EDIT 1: Only tangentially related, but I felt like sharing. As I was finishing up Paul Wozniak's entry, I got the urge to try to dig around and find out if I really have German ancestry or not. I definitely have French-Canadian ancestry through my maternal great-grandmother--there are records--but all I had to go on for my dad's side of the family was vague word of mouth. My mother had told me I have Pennsylvania Dutch (German) ancestry, but there was nothing to back that up; plus, when I asked her more recently, this time she said my ancestry is Dutch--completely different thing. My surname sounds German and I'd been told it is--BUT, it's also a word in English, and Google searches told me it's more often found in the UK--it could be German, yet it could also be English, Dutch, even Ashkenazi Jewish. It isn't included on Wikipedia's list of German surnames. I'm not close to extended family, I won't post my name online for safety reasons (people tend not to answer me when I post questions on forums anyway so I've given up), and I figured my dad himself either doesn't know or doesn't care (he's the sort who finds lots of questions irritating)...so I decided to try Google again. All I had to go on was my paternal grandfather's name, and my hometown, where he'd also lived. I started there.

This brought me first to the 1940 Census and my great-grandfather--as well as a tie to a Pennsylvania county with a high Pennsylvania Dutch population. I followed him to a genealogy site where I found my great-great-grandfather. I followed him to a personal genealogy site of Pennsylvania families, then followed that to various other sites. After a couple of hours (during which I took a break to work on my art for that day), plus a few additional details in the day or so after, I'd at last solved the mystery of my uncertain paternal ancestry and the origin of my surname.

I learned that my family had resided in Pennsylvania for over a century before coming to Michigan.

I learned that my family surname had changed spelling likely sometime in the late 1700s.

I learned my ancestors immigrated from Europe to Pennsylvania in 1767 on a ship called the Sally.

I learned that the earliest ancestor I could track down was a farmer named Georg, who was born around 1590. (Here the recorded trail I can find ends.)

And I learned that my family and my family name could be tracked to a particular state in Germany: We are, in fact, of German descent.

As for the name of the particular state in Germany from which my family originates?...my family comes from the state of Hesse.

I make up lots of stuff, but I could not have made this up if I tried.

Hope somebody enjoyed.

TUMBLR EDIT 2: So all right. I mentioned previously that I'd explain this SS character's decidedly odd name, so here we go.

I've made passing reference to newish character Lt. Paul Wozniak in previous entries, though until recently (I think it was Dobermann's entry?) never referred to him by name. This is largely because he only recently acquired one, and he had his first name quite a while before the last name came along. I had trouble figuring out what "Lt. Paul's" name should be but was already leaning toward something unusual; then "unusual" clearly developed into "Polish," so here we are. I went with one I knew how to pronounce (having attended school with a girl surnamed Wosniak, who I believe secretly hated my guts, but whatever).

This is a matter I haven't looked into as much as others, but suffice it to say, the Nazis hated the Poles. I don't know if they were persecuted to the same extent as the Jews, but many Slavic peoples, Poles included, were considered subhuman, and often forced into camps. Lt. Wozniak, being in the SS yet having what comes across as a "forbidden" name, seemed like it'd make for a pretty juicy plot point. And there was a tiny basis in fact for giving an SS member such a name, so I couldn't pass it up.

So what inspired such an odd choice? A fellow named...uh...Odilo Globocnik. *checks* Holy crap I spelled it right, though it took me a few backspaces. Anyway. Who is this weird-named dude? Long story short, he was an Austrian SS officer who participated in murdering the Poles, as well as various other garbagey acts. I shan't dwell on him as all he and Wozniak have in common is their odd naming circumstances. According to Wikipedia, Odilo (easier to type that than that surname) was Slovenian/Serbian/Croatian. I. e., Slavic. Yet he was still a high-ranking member of the SS and even participated in ethnic cleansing of other Slavic peoples. What up? I'm not sure if I understand what I'm reading right, but Odilo seems to have been another instance of the Nazis being big ol' flaming hypocrites when it suited them. Some of Odilo's fellows apparently ridiculed him for his non-Aryan name, but others, including Himmler himself, simply came up with an excuse: Oh, dude named Globocnik is TOTALLY Aryan! He just has a funny-spelled name because it was "Slavicized"! Yeah, that's the ticket! 🙄

I'm not sure what it was about Odilo that got him this easy pass, but there you go. It's similar in my story. Paul Wozniak, I believe, actually IS of Polish descent, so technically he should not end up accepted into the SS, but he is. He comes from a well-off family with connections--this plot point isn't developed yet, but perhaps they're even connected to Col. Rupprecht Heidenreich, which is one of the biggest connections you can get in this storyline without being connected to the Reichsführer himself. (Himmler never appears by name in my story though a guy who might be him briefly appears once or twice.) Heidenreich proves he's a hypocrite elsewhere in the story by expressing virulent antisemitism--e. g., he vows to shoot any Jew who sets foot on his land--while being a-OK having an affair with a half-Jewish woman (when she tells him this and asks if it'll be a problem, he outright says that makes it more "exciting.") Anyway, Wozniak's family are living in Germany at the time of the story and they consider themselves German and all that but, well, technicalities. They have big hopes for their son, big hopes he doesn't really share but he has no real say. They pull strings, insist they're not dirty Poles but they just have "Policized" names (yes that is a completely misused word there), he meets the SS criteria, and joins the Waffen-SS. Goes off to fight in the war. He's kind of young and definitely inexperienced, and the guy who ends up with him in his unit doesn't want to deal with the task of showing him the ropes, so passes him off to one of his other guys who has a lot more combat experience, having served in the Great War, and is named, you guessed it, Gunter Hesse.

Hesse's not terribly enthused about having to babysit New Guy but doesn't complain, gives him a crash course in how things are done. Wozniak is a fast learner so it doesn't go too badly. His personality is quite different from Hesse's--Hesse is more of a loner, doesn't really "click" with most of the younger soldiers, is the quiet stoic type, rather humorless most of the time, definitely not chatty, and comes from a lower-middle class background--his parents were killed when he was an infant so he was raised in an orphanage and spent some time in poverty after being dismissed from the army. Wozniak is younger, more sociable, loves to chat and joke around, and as I already made clear comes from the upper-middle class, has never wanted for anything. The two of them shouldn't really get along, but Wozniak wears Hesse down and they become rather decent friends. They aren't always in touch with each other since Hesse actually serves in Vincenz Immerwahr's unit, but they meet and fight alongside each other often. So of course Wozniak catches word when Hesse submits a complaint against Immerwahr for acting inappropriately toward him. Immerwahr's interest in younger men (he's older than Hesse is) is well known by most in the Waffen-SS, though Hesse wasn't in the loop. Well, he is now, and he complains about it. And his complaint is promptly brushed off by the Allgemeine-SS, which investigates such things. Hesse is humiliated but has to abide by the decision; he just decides to try to avoid Immerwahr's company as much as possible until he can figure out how to transfer to another unit.

Wozniak doesn't comment on the situation since he knows that'll just embarrass Hesse even more, though he does feel rather disappointed about it. Not because he's disgusted by Immerwahr's behavior, but because he has a crush on Hesse, too. And now he's just learned it'll never be requited, because Hesse is skeeved out by people like him. Le sigh.

So now you see Wozniak in fact has TWO very big things working against him: He's of Polish descent, AND, well...you know. He never really wanted to be in the SS, that was his parents' idea, but here we are.

Wozniak ends up getting seriously wounded and carried off to hospital; he sees Hesse, who helped save his life, standing and watching as he departs. He learns that he can remain in the SS by transferring to their noncombatant branch, the Allgemeine-SS, which deals in security and intelligence; it isn't glamorous but he transfers. He ends up serving Heidenreich's vast office dealing with recordkeeping and investigating complaints against SS officers. One day a new officer arrives in an adjacent office and Wozniak is surprised to recognize his old companion, Hesse--much similar to Wozniak, he too ended up wounded, and on the advice of the Waffen-SS physician who saw to his injury, Erich Arzt, decided to transfer so he could continue serving in the SS. Wozniak pops in to say hello and Hesse, surprised, greets him back. It looks like they'll be serving by each other yet again, albeit in a completely different capacity.

Wozniak isn't one of the major characters, and over time Hesse's friendship with Theodor Schulte kind of supplants his relationship with him, though this is largely because Schulte follows him out in the field more often, and carries out unpleasant tasks for him, whereas Wozniak tends to work from the office. One big exception to this is when Hesse is assigned to investigate the deaths of Inga Dobermann, a close friend, and the Nazi official whom she killed before dying herself. (I believe this occurs before Hesse and Schulte meet, though I could be wrong.) It's outside the scope of this entry that Inga is NOT, in fact, dead, her death was merely faked by her husband and members of the resistance movement, the Diamond Network. Despite his years-long friendship with the Dobermanns, Hesse is again out of the loop, for obvious reasons. Inga's husband, Louis Dobermann, requests that the investigation be kept low key out of respect for Inga (actually, to avoid the truth coming out, that she's Jewish and not really dead); he knows Hesse has long had romantic feelings for her, and plans on this working in his favor. Indeed it does, with Hesse taking the lead in the investigation and asking Heidenreich to allow him to keep things quiet. He requests to work with only one other officer, and chooses Wozniak, knowing he can keep things mum.

Wozniak has of course heard of the Dobermanns--they're a prominent Junker family well known for their philanthropy--though he's never really interacted with them, and doesn't know all the details of Hesse's relationship with them. (Louis Dobermann saved Hesse's life in the Great War, and Inga, who'd met the two men as they recovered in hospital, insisted on taking him in after he overdosed on morphine--prior to joining the SS, he'd lived with them and helped care for their daughter ever since. He now divides his time between the Dobermann estate and his SS-provided apartment in the city.) He picks up bits and pieces as the investigation goes on. One big hint about the exact nature of things is Hesse's reaction to Inga's "death." He initially reacts with numb shock, running on autopilot as he hurries to the estate to check out the crime scene and then returns to the city to seek Heidenreich's approval to investigate. Heidenreich calls Wozniak since it's quite late at night and most officers are at home; Wozniak agrees to meet Hesse early in the morning, while Hesse goes to get a few hours of sleep. Wozniak isn't quite sure why Hesse has gone to all this trouble, but starts to assume there's more to it than meets the eye. He shows up to work yet Hesse doesn't report to the office as expected, so Wozniak goes to his apartment, knocks, waits a bit. Hesse finally answers, groggy and bleary eyed, and lets him in; he's still dressed from the previous night but is rumpled, and asks Wozniak to wait a few moments while he washes and straightens himself up to head back to the Dobermann estate. Wozniak does so, but is vaguely perplexed; Hesse is well known for being a teetotaler, at the most he may have a glass of wine or beer once a week or so but he almost exclusively sticks to club soda. So why does he look so hungover?

Wozniak wanders around the suite a little bit and notices that the door to Hesse's private quarters is cracked open; peering within, he notices something sitting on the bed: a small kit with a syringe. He knows exactly what that must be. When Hesse comes out of the bathroom, still drying himself off, Wozniak gestures at the kit and murmurs, "You sure you're good to go, Kamerad...?" Hesse glances at the kit but then nods, and Wozniak exits the room to let him get dressed. As they leave a few moments later he can tell Hesse never actually took the drug; something must have stopped him from doing so after he prepared the needle. Something else is to blame for his uncharacteristically shabby state when he answered the door. There's no smell of alcohol on him, so Wozniak assumes a completely different cause: Hesse must have cried himself to sleep. He still isn't sure of all the particulars, but now he can tell Hesse cared for Inga very deeply.

Wozniak assists in the investigation by doing most of the behind-the-scenes work, such as digging into the SS personal records for information on the man Inga killed and why he might have been on the property in the first place. He's a bit more clear eyed than Hesse is about the whole affair, and senses something is fishy, but Hesse quickly shuts him down when he tries to suggest Dobermann may be hiding something; Hesse isn't stupid, Wozniak knows that he knows, on some level, that things aren't quite right. Yet Hesse deliberately chooses to ignore this, so Wozniak goes along with it. Both of them know Dobermann isn't telling the entire truth about Inga's "death," and is in effect using Hesse's feelings for her to ensure the investigation doesn't go too deep...and they allow him to do this, anyway. Hesse is a very by-the-book type (him filing a complaint against Immerwahr and expecting it to go anywhere is proof of this), so his behavior in the Dobermann investigation is very atypical indeed. The two of them basically pin the blame on the dead guy and let things rest there.

As time goes on, Wozniak does get to learn that the Dobermanns are Hesse's big blind spot, with him willing to bend or outright break the rules for them, and not just in regards to Inga's death. Hesse feels he owes them, and he's devoted to their daughter Adelina--treating her almost like she's his own--so even though he gets into heated arguments with Dobermann himself, he lets them get away with almost anything. The presence of Tobias Schäfer within the Dobermann household is a pretty big sign of this. Dobermann rescued Schäfer from the labor camp while Inga was still "alive," and brought him back to the estate to serve as the in-home physician. The thing is that Schäfer is Jewish, and it's illegal for him to practice medicine; also, he's deaf, which in the Nazis' eyes makes him even more "subhuman." So Dobermann's actions here are a big no-no. Wozniak meets Schäfer only later in the story when he accidentally runs into him during a visit to the estate; normally, Hesse has Schäfer hide when Nazis visit, though this time there was an oversight. (The same thing happens with Hasso Reinhardt, who currently runs the camp.) Wozniak isn't terribly antisemitic, despite working for the SS; he's more curious about Schäfer's presence than alarmed. Especially when he learns that Hesse's first reaction to Dobermann showing up with Schäfer was to demand that he return him to the camp, where Schäfer was just about to be sent to the firing squad. By the time Wozniak meets Schäfer, he and Hesse are on generally decent terms, and as I already mentioned, Hesse actively participates in concealing his presence, now. It's weird but Wozniak chalks it up yet again to Hesse's devotion to the Dobermanns. He never tips off his boss Heidenreich as to any of these irregularities, partly because of his own secrets.

At one point in the plot, a Lebensborn maternity home is bombed (still working out the details of this), and Wozniak, who was visiting at the time, ends up trapped with an unwed pregnant woman who goes into labor; he helps her deliver the baby. He runs into her (she needs a name now) later on in the story and learns she's going to give the baby up for adoption. This is normal; the SS established the Lebensborn maternity homes to provide for pregnant SS wives and unwed mothers, the latter of whom, if they're racially desirable enough, are expected to adopt their children out to SS families who don't have their own. Lebensborn helps protect these women from the stigma generally attached to being pregnant out of wedlock, and ensures their children a good home. Wozniak chats with this woman and gets to know a bit about her; she had a brief relationship with another SS officer, but he wasn't interested in making it serious, and bailed out when she discovered she was pregnant. Her family aren't thrilled about the situation, and threatened to disown her if she didn't get the situation "taken care of" somehow. Abortion is illegal for Aryan German citizens, due to the low birth rate, so Lebensborn is her only option. Despite all of Wozniak's efforts to get her to laugh or smile, she remains gloomy and vaguely hostile, so he asks if she even wants to put the child up for adoption; the look on her face makes it clear she doesn't. She simply has no other choice.

Wozniak suddenly hits upon an idea: He proposes. Out of the blue. (Yes, similarities to Ludolf Jäger's and Magdalena Jäger's tale, though keep reading, it's different.) He'll marry her, and pose as the officer who got her pregnant, insisting he's had a change of heart and has decided to marry her after all--this should resolve all her issues with her family. New Mother just gives him the most flabbergasted stare.

Wozniak: "Well...?"

New Mother: "What are you even getting at--?"

Wozniak: "Exactly as I said. What do you say?"

New Mother: "I say you've lost your head! What nonsense is this? We hardly know each other."

Wozniak: "So? I get the feeling that's pretty common with this thing, ja? Sounds like you didn't know the other fellow too well, either."

New Mother: "You're really terrible at this, you know?"

Wozniak: "And yet you're not saying nein."

New Mother: "And neither am I saying ja! You're being a horrible Arsch. Last thing I need right now is jokes."

Wozniak: "For once I'm serious. And so what do you say? Ja or nein?"

New Mother: "What do you think? I'm not even interested in you like that!"

Wozniak: "...Huh. I suppose I should be offended. I guess it's a good thing I'm not interested in you like that, either."

New Mother: (angrily) "And what's that supposed to mean--?" (blinks) "...Oh."

Wozniak explains: He's not being ENTIRELY selfless with his proposal. A marriage wouldn't benefit just her, it would benefit him as well: His family have been nagging at him to find a nice wife, settle down, have some kids. None of which he's interested in doing in the least. But they're getting kind of pushy about it, and the SS is too, since they request their eligible members to have families. Here, they can kill two birds with one stone: He can placate his family and the SS and help cover up his preferences by marrying her and claiming her child as his own, while she placates her family by marrying the "father" of her child and not getting disowned. She's very reluctant about this scheme, as it strikes her as terribly unfair to expect him to give up his own chance at a relationship by helping her; to which he frankly responds, "I already have no such chance, not unless I want to be executed." New Mother knows of course that the Third Reich forbids the sort of relationship Wozniak would be interested in, but she admittedly never thought about just how harsh the consequences can be--Wozniak doesn't look at all like the sort of person who'd be put in a camp or outright killed, yet he is. Still, she feels so much guilt over this--"It isn't fair, this isn't the way it should be"--that he has to do a lot of convincing to bring her around that it actually benefits him more than her, and she has nothing to feel bad about, she's not responsible for his happiness. They plan to visit their families before seeking permission from the SS, since the blessings of their relatives should carry some weight. Accordingly, they go to meet her parents first.

New Mother's parents watch in consternation as an unfamiliar car pulls in, an SS officer gets out (it's almost never a good thing to get a visit from the SS, so although they're good law-abiding Germans, they're nervous), then helps someone out of the passenger side--it's their daughter, and she's carrying a baby. They hurry out to meet her, wondering what's going on; when New Mother awkwardly introduces Wozniak, and he clarifies that he's the same officer she'd been seeing previously, they're surprised, but everyone goes inside to talk over tea. Wozniak is of course asked about his name (he provides the same BS story his parents always have--he's Aryan German, just the family name was changed when they lived in Poland--and they agree it must be true, he wouldn't have been allowed in the SS otherwise), and when asked the circumstances of him being there now, after he'd dumped their daughter, he expresses great contrition, explaining how when he saw her with their baby he realized what he had turned his back on; he's had a change of heart, and wishes to start a proper family. They ask how the two of them met in the first place; New Mother gets flustered, but Wozniak comes right out with an elaborate story that even explains why she didn't answer the question ("She's embarrassed that it isn't as romantic as she thinks it should be"). Her parents buy it hook, line, and sinker, and leave the room a moment to talk amongst themselves.

New Mother: (whispering) "What was all that??"

Wozniak: (whispering) "I had to say something, you weren't answering!"

New Mother: "How did you learn to--to LIE like that? Like you do it every day!"

Wozniak: "I DO do it every day! I sort of have to!"

Parents return to the room, give Wozniak a gentle finger shake over "his previous behavior," but for the most part are too thrilled to be angry. They offer their blessing. The two next visit Wozniak's parents. They're even more surprised than hers: "We had no idea you were even seeing anybody," his mother exclaims, "and now you show up with a baby?--why did you never tell us?" This time, Wozniak hems and haws, and New Mother speaks up--"He's embarrassed that it isn't as romantic as he thinks it should be"--and repeats the story Wozniak had told. His parents excuse themselves a moment.

Wozniak: (sideways glance) "I must be rubbing off on you already. You did that a little too easily."

Wozniak's parents reappear, give their blessing. Next up is the SS. Considering that both Wozniak and New Mother have already met SS physical/racial requirements, this step is the easiest of all; the most complicated aspect is the marriage ceremony and the baby's christening. Wozniak warns New Mother these might be weird. They go through with it, then depart, newly wed, New Mother carrying the baby and both of them staring off into space, brows furrowed pensively.

New Mother: "You're right. That was...weird."

Wozniak: "That's sort of how we do things."

New Mother: "What was that book he kept reading aloud from...?"

Wozniak: "Ah...Mein Kampf."

New Mother: "Oh."

Wozniak: "I don't recommend it, it's not very good."

New Mother: "Ja."

New Mother repeatedly agonizes over their choice to pose as a couple, feeling like she's depriving him of his own life, and Wozniak has to keep reassuring her otherwise. Over time it becomes clear she's actually developed some feelings for him after all, though he has no interest in reciprocating (a fact that he feels apologetic about, but it's not like he can do anything about it). They have to deal numerous times with awkward situations such as sharing a bed and keeping their families convinced they're into each other, as well as why no more children seem to be forthcoming...I haven't delved very much yet into all this, so I'm not sure how far they're both willing to go to maintain the act. They do grow to genuinely love each other in an unusual way, though, so the marriage isn't as pure a con job as it started out as.

Wozniak participates in Hesse's investigation of the murder of their boss, Col. Heidenreich; everyone is stunned when the killer turns out to be his own wife, Eva, with the assistance of...Capt. Arzt, who tended to Hesse's injuries and suggested he join the Allgemeine-SS all those years ago. Eva is hanged, whereas Arzt commits suicide while Hesse and Wozniak are taking him into custody. Wozniak sees Hesse's former blind devotion to the SS starting to waver, and he spends more time with his mistress Sophie; Wozniak catches wind of Hesse proposing to her, and encourages him to follow through--and soon. Ominous news is trickling in from the Eastern Front that the war is taking a bad turn, and Wozniak tells Hesse this might be a good time for him to retire to the country with Sophie--Hesse is surprised when Wozniak admits he's making similar plans in case things get worse. Surprised, because Wozniak is still young, and so resigning from the SS now seems premature. Hesse gets the same advice from SS major Jan Delbrück, who just returned from the front and so knows what's going on. Unfortunately for Hesse, he ignores this advice, although he does indicate to Sophie that he'll leave the SS if they refuse his request to marry her; events come to a head before he can act, and he, Schulte, and Sophie don't meet good ends.

Delbrück and Wozniak--independently of each other--are more clear eyed, and take action sooner. Delbrück barely makes it out of the city as the Allies arrive, while Wozniak hurries to fetch New Mother. She's bewildered when he bursts in, dressed in plain clothes, and tells her to get the baby and a few belongings as they have to leave right then. He urges her to contact her parents and tell them to leave as well, but a telephone call to them results in nothing: They've decided to stay where they are, confident the enemy will be defeated. Wozniak tries to suggest they go pick them up but New Mother cuts him off--turns out her parents have gone full Nazi, she's certain they won't come along, and what's more, they'll definitely never accept it should they find out the truth about their marriage--she suspects they may even become dangerous. Right now, it's best for them to focus on themselves, and the baby. He's surprised that she's willing to leave her family behind--he'd made the same decision regarding his own--but all she has to say to that is "We're the family now, ja?" She gathers some supplies for the baby, they get bundled into the car, and head out of the city and toward the mountains, where Wozniak reasons they stand a better chance of surviving. He says he knows someone he can contact for help after things settle down a little.

While I was taking a small break from typing this, Wozniak revealed the rest of his story to me, and it doesn't end the way I'd originally thought. Here we go, though. He and New Mother hide out in the mountains for a bit, then make their way toward Poland, where Wozniak says he still has extended family who might be able to help. (Here is where New Mother--holy cripes do I need to find her a name, by this point she's not exactly a new mother anymore--asks, dumbfounded, "Your family really does come from Poland?--you have Slavic blood? How on earth did they let you into the SS??" Wozniak simply confirms that yes, he's ethnically Polish, and also his family had connections, which counts for more than blood, apparently.) He tracks down a distant cousin who, from the looks of it, knows of his service in the SS. Relative agrees to meet him in an out-of-the-way place with some material to aid him, though it's not a friendly meeting.

Relative: "You have some real nerve showing your face here."

Wozniak: "I appreciate your help."

Relative: "Well, I don't appreciate seeing you." (nods at New Mother) "Who's she?"

Wozniak: "This is my wife."

Relative: "Wife--? Oh, this is rich. So you married one of them, too. Nice."

Wozniak: "I don't want to take up your time--"

Relative: "Don't worry about me, I don't want you taking up my time, either. Here. I do you ONE favor." (hands over some documents) "Papers you people love so much."

Wozniak: (looks at papers; they're in Polish, but New Mother can tell they're identity papers for three members of the Wozniak family) "Who are they?"

Relative: "WERE they. Don't worry, they don't need these papers anymore."

Wozniak: "What happened to them?"

Relative: (livid) "Don't you dare act like you don't know. Now I did my part. I don't want to see any of you ever again." (leaves)

New Mother: "Paul...you had family who died in the camps?"

Wozniak: "I didn't know any of them too well. Haven't been here since my parents left. Anyway..." (tucks papers away) "We're them, now."

New Mother can tell the tense interaction wears on him, but doesn't press. He gets the papers back out later for them to study and remember the details (Paul Wozniak's new name, for example, is Piotr (Peter) Wozniak) and ends up with tears flooding his eyes, but says nothing about what he's thinking. The three of them manage under their new identities to secure some funds and a small cabin in the woods--Wozniak deems living in the country safer than returning to a city--and they squeak by on hunting and gathering, supplementing this by doing minor jobs for their few distant neighbors who mostly keep to themselves. It isn't easy, but at least it's a living, and the two of them genuinely care for each other and the child. Things are sure to get easier as time goes by.

That's where I thought Wozniak's story basically ended, with the little family making it by on their own, relatively content. But a bit more emerged. They live this way for a year or so, maybe three, and are quite resilient and happy with each other. Winter arrives and it's always a difficult season but by now they know how to handle it. One day Wozniak heads outside to go hunting in the woods, but halts as soon as he notices footprints in the snow; further examination shows that during the night, someone came up to the cabin and tried peering inside. Feeling dread creeping up inside, Wozniak orders New Mother to lock the windows and door and to take the child and hole up in the cellar for now, and not come outside for anything; she repeatedly asks what's going on, but he doesn't answer, just insists: "Not for ANYTHING." She obeys, locking up everything after him and taking Child into the cellar--their food and supply stores are down here, so they can stay for a while--and waiting, filled with dread. After some time she hears it--a gun blast. Then a few moments later, a second. She huddles hugging Child tight, fighting not to burst into tears or to hurry out of their shelter, but there are no more gunshots--and no other sounds at all. Only after a few hours have passed without anything else happening does she instruct Child to stay hidden in the cellar, then ventures out. The cabin is just as it was left; no one's tried to enter. She unlocks the door, taking a rifle and sled with her--in case he's hurt--and follows Wozniak's tracks into the woods.

Wozniak has followed the other set of tracks. As soon as he catches a flicker of movement among the trees, he makes a noise--deliberately giving away his location--then, hearing the snow crunching, he hurries deeper into the trees and away from the cabin. The fact that nobody tried to break in in the night makes him hope that whoever this is isn't interested in his wife or child, but he leads them as far away as he can just in case. Finally he turns and his pursuer emerges: An unknown man with a shotgun, which he aims at Wozniak as soon as he sees he's turned around. He undoes the flaps on his cap to show his face and yells, "Do you remember me?" Wozniak has to squint at him for a moment or two, but at last a vague memory comes back to him; some years ago, when he and Hesse had been visiting the labor camp, a group of newly arrived prisoners had paraded past; one of them had stared keenly at the two SS officers, making eye contact with Wozniak; his stare had unsettled Wozniak and he'd turned away. That was it, that was the total of their interactions--yet Wozniak remembers him, and the man now says, "You do remember me. Good." He approaches, shotgun still aimed, as Wozniak slowly steps back, hands raised.

Stranger: "I told myself to never forget your faces. After I got out of that place. Tried tracking you both down. Couldn't find that other bastard. I guess you'll have to do."

Wozniak: "Bitte..."

Stranger: "Pretending to be a Pole to hide in plain sight. Sneaky, even for you fellows. You know some of you even put on prisoners' clothes to get away? Clever, but not clever enough."

Wozniak: "Bitte, I have people who depend on me..."

Stranger: (screaming) "SO DID I!" (raises gun) (voice cracking) "Maybe you'll meet them! Since I don't believe in Hell!" (fires)

There's a special kind of irony in Wozniak concealing his true ancestry all this time to protect himself, yet in it not protecting him when he needed it to, I guess. He falls to his knees, topples over backwards, goes still. The shooter stands there a moment, then approaches and kicks Wozniak's foot a couple of times--"Get up. Wake up." No response, so he nudges him with the gun barrel; Wozniak is limp. Then, unexpectedly...shooter starts gasping and shaking and his eyes flood with tears. He halfheartedly wipes them away.

Stranger: (crying) "They're still gone. It's not supposed to be like this." (sinks to his knees, drops shotgun, starts sobbing) "It isn't fair. Nothing's changed. I did it for nothing." (removes pistol from his belt, puts it to his head)

New Mother had heard two gunshots. She crests a rise, panting from all the trudging, then spots it: two forms lying still in the snow in a clearing. Lets out a cry--"Paul!"--and stumbles toward him. She drops down and pulls his head and shoulders into her lap and cries, "Nein, nein, nein, Paul," and hugs him tight, but he's growing cold by now. She eventually pulls herself together enough to dig a hole in the snow--pushing the stranger into it and covering him up--then gets Wozniak and the guns onto the sled and, still weeping, pulls him back home with her. All she can think of are the relatives he left behind in Poland; they made it clear they never wanted to see him again, but she makes plans to get to them anyway. She wants Wozniak to have a proper burial.

New Mother's story continues a little bit longer, but that's pretty much it for Wozniak's; I toyed with the idea of him having been wearing some sort of armor under his clothes and playing dead after the shot, but that was silly, and Wozniak himself wouldn't have it. I guess I don't like the thought of too many "bad guys" getting off with happy endings--even though Wozniak tries to be good, and never murders anyone, and never wished to be in the SS in the first place--he likely would have ended up a victim himself if he didn't join--still, he COULD have defied his parents and refused to join, or at least quit after being wounded rather than transfer into the Allgemeine-SS, whose investigations and recordkeeping often helped out the Holocaust as much as the actual killings did. He had a choice, and technically he is a bad guy. He survives the war, but not for very long.

[Paul Wozniak 2022 [‎Friday, ‎December ‎23, ‎2022, ‏‎4:00:13 AM]]

[Paul Wozniak 2022 2 [‎Friday, ‎December ‎23, ‎2022, ‏‎4:00:22 AM]]

[piotrbricks]

Golden Dragon Kai 🔥

This is an unusual photo for me. For two reasons. First, I tried to do it at least semi-right in terms of LEGO photography, plus make it a bit more dynamic. Is it great? No. Can I do better? I think so. Is it good for now and am I content enough with it? Yes it is, and I am. Second, it’s not a custom - and I usually just take photos of my customs.

This is Kai (Golden Dragon) fresh outta the latest issue of my beloved LEGO Ninjago Magazine by Blue Ocean Entertainment (yes, I read them in full, I do all the puzzles and everything). As I’m based in Poland, I get the Polish edition. I’m sorry, my dear US friends, I know you don’t have LEGO magazines - but hey, at least I can share it with you that way! The current issue is on the left, and on the right is a sneak peak of what we can expect in September.

Absolute treat in this issue. A minifigure that would be unique (in LEGO Ninjago 71769 Cole’s Dragon Cruiser) if it wasn’t for this magazine. Let’s take a closer loot at what we’re getting in terms of bricks and pieces.

I’d say we’re getting quite a lot. And good stuff too. This issue was a tad more expensive than they usually are (19.99 Polish zlotys instead of 16.99), but all things considered, I’d say it’s absolutely worth it.

What else is there in August issue? Facts about Golden Dragons. Breakdown of included minifigure with instructions. 2 posters. A graphic story. A board game. Some puzzles. And a lot of LEGO entertainment! Seriously, I’m 31 and I enjoy these magazines more than any others.

And here are just few pages to pique your curiosity without spoiling your fun.

Hope you liked this review of the newest LEGO Ninjago magazine. I hope you’ll find it useful and/or entertaining 😊 Most likely more reviews of LEGO magazines are soon to come!

Do you like LEGO magazines? Do you buy them? Do you even have them available where you live? Let me know down below, I’m really curious!

[stonedregulus]

omg ollie i love the snippet so much🥺🥺🥺🥺 these boys ahh i can just tell theyre gonna steal my whole heart

thanks for sharing this lil sneak peak <333

no need to answer ofc if ud rather not get into it or dont really know or whatever, but i was curious about the timeline for publishing a book… all ! hypothetical ! ofc !

like ik uve sort of said it would 😌hypothetically😌 be a whollle process but like,,,how long does it typically take from finishing writing a book to actually having it on sale?? assuming it gets picked up by publishers and stuff ya know

anyways i love u and ur writing and ur blog here so much, hope ur doing well :))

thank you so much 🥺💗

so basically getting a book published looks like this:

write the book

have the book beta read by multiple people

edit and polish manuscript

send out queries to agents (basically a letter plus the first 10 pages of the book)

wait for an agent to ask to see the full manuscript & send it

wait for the agent to say they want to represent you

edit and polish manuscript more

agent sends submissions to editors of publishing companies

editor likes it and submits it to their acquisitions board

acquisitions board approves the sale

sign contracts

edits and revisions

book is printed and put on shelves

now, this is not like an exact thing. i’m not an expert, this is just what i’ve learned in the last month or so of exploring the publishing world.

i have to finish writing the book. i think I could probably be done by october. writing the book is the easiest part of the process. getting an agent could take months. i’ve seen some of their monthly stats. they get like 300 something queries and only ask to see 5 or 6 full manuscripts. they turn down plenty of authors after that. getting an agent is fucking hard. then your agent could find an editor who is interested but the acquisitions board says no. people generally say it can take anywhere from 6 months to 2 years for steps 10-13.

so… yeah. this is probably not going to be like you guys have the book in your hands anytime soon.

i mean the good thing is romance sells. queer romance is pretty popular right now, so you know hopefully that ticks boxes in my favor.

wish me luck 😅

[nanowrimo]

5 Tips for Finishing Your Novel

April’s session of Camp NaNoWriMo is drawing to a close, and you might find yourself nearing the end of your novel. If you need some tips on writing and polishing the ending of your story, author Derek Murphy is here to share a few! Plus, you can check out the rest of our novel-finishing resources on our #NaNoFinMo page. 

You won NaNoWriMo and have a 50k collection of scenes and sentences, but how do you clean it up and get it done? How do you make sure it’s finished, satisfying and enjoyable? Here are 5 powerful strategies for finishing your novel and some helpful writing tips that will push you past the finish line.

1. Give it a satisfying resolution.

In order to have a powerful story, your book should probably focus on a main character’s change or transformation. There’s an inner war, a.k.a. the character’s emotional healing, and an outer war: the conflict that forced the reckoning. If it’s a purely symbolic internal realization, you can mirror that with actual conflict in the real scene: the breaking of a dish, a fit of rage, a sudden ray of sunlight (or a storm… this should not be pleasant; It’s a breaking point and spiritual death/rebirth).

You can clarify the moment of change by setting up an illustrative contrast, a before and after, that shows how those internal changes have resulted in real-world consequences or benefits. Each character’s unique challenge will match their personal weakness or fear. The price for victory is the one thing they have so far refused to do, or something they cannot give up or bear to lose.

Make sure your protagonist has gone through a transformative struggle to arrive at deep insights, knowledge or awareness. Find a way to deepen the incidental scenes so that they become instrumental to a deeper purpose, leading towards an identity-shifting event.

The plot is what happens, and it’s important. But you can make it more dramatic and meaningful by making sure you demonstrate how hard it was and what it cost. It matters, it is remarkable, because it forced your protagonist to change.

Your conclusion might include:

Physical tension as allies perform a tug-of-war battle against resistance, that shows how difficult this struggle is, and how much force is required.

The consideration phase, as characters are tempted last minute or the price for victory is revealed: the sweet memories that give them awareness that this fight is worth the cost or risk (you need to show them making the choice, knowing what they will lose).

The final flashback, as the full backstory is revealed so we can see exactly why this conflict is so difficult or meaningful for the main character.

2. Add (unresolved) conflict.

Your story is made up of the events and scenes, where something happens. Each new event will push the characters further into the plot. Slow scenes where nothing is really happening can be red flags, so the first thing to focus on is increasing conflict, drama, suspense and intrigue. This is what creates urgency. The full reveal, demonstrating why THIS challenge is so difficult and powerful, should happen just before the final battle or resolution.

You want to make sure every scene, especially in your conclusion, has enough conflict. I recommend these three:

Outer Conflict (threats): Challenges or obstacles that prevent the character from achieving goals.

Inner Conflict (doubts): Moral struggles, decisions, guilt or shame, anger.

Friendly Fire (betrayal): Strong disagreements between allies or supporting characters. 

You want to extend and deepen the potential conflict, without resolving it too easily. The biggest destroyer of conflict is conversation: when your characters just sit around and talk to each other. Most conflict involves a lack of information, and a desire for clarity. A lot of conflict is perceived or imagined.

The most important information needs to come last, and come at a great price. The information that has an emotional impact, and influences their actions and decisions, should be big reveals at dramatic peaks. A surprise or twist should be treated as an event: each scene is leading towards a change or new piece of information that provokes the protagonist to respond.

3. Fill plot holes with character motivation.

After you’ve made sure that “what actually happens” is intriguing (opening questions and raising tensions without resolving them) you can focus on making sure the plot holes are filled, and characters are properly motivated – these two things are usually adjacent.

You can find and fill plot holes by asking:

Why are the characters doing this?

Why does any of it matter?

Basically, readers need to respect the main characters enough to care what happens to them, so their choices and actions need to make sense within the given information. If there’s a simpler, easier solution, readers will get stuck up on “why didn’t they just…”? To fix plot holes and gaps in logic or continuity, or make the story go where you need it to, you can add urgency, fix the mood of the scene (bigger stakes require bigger justifications), show characters in a weakened mental state, or raise concerns but have them dismissed, with an excuse or justification.

You need rational characters to make plausible choices that lead to dire consequences. You need show why they don’t do something easier, or nothing at all, or why they face clear challenges, despite potential obstacles.

They’ll also require a deeper motivation, for why they’re willing to put themselves in identity-destroying conflict, rather than just giving up or running away. Why do they stay in THIS fight, when they’ve run from similar ones? If they weren’t ready at the beginning, why are the ready now – what changed in them, as a result of your story’s journey?

Your protagonist needs to have a strong, consistent internal compass, and it needs to be revealed through incidents that establish their character. This is who they are. Without this reliable core identity, we won’t be able to tell a story that forces them to change. 

4. Let readers picture your story with detailed description.

In the final stages of revision, you can begin improving the description with specific details.

It’s smart to start – or end – a chapter with a vivid, immediate scene. You want to leave readers with an image they can see in their minds, hopefully connected to the feeling you aim to evoke. You can close a chapter with a reference back to a motif or image, with a deeper or more reflective context; applying meaning to the metaphor. This will help readers feel engaged, be moved, and leave a lasting impact.

Vivid scenes are mostly a matter of detailed description, so add the specifics about the story environment. Be precise, not vague. Instead of “she put a plate of tea and snacks on the table” you can write “she gently placed an antique porcelain teapot on the table. I could smell it was Earl Grey from the scent of bergamot. The half-sleeve of Oreos and can of onion-flavored Pringles seemed incongruous with the fancy dishes, but I knew she was making an effort to welcome me.”

Focus on the sensations and feelings; but also zero-in on any potential sources of conflict or internal emotions or states of mind. In my example above, the host might be nervous or ashamed of her spread; or perhaps she has a degenerative brain disease and doesn’t notice the incongruity. Tensions are unspoken, potential sources of negative feelings. They hover in the background of your description.

Readers will remember the pictures you put in their heads, not the words on the page.

Description should serve and be bound to the story, not distract from it.

It should be squeezed into and around the scene action, when the protagonist is using or exploring.

Show what’s different, not what’s the same.

Leave space for readers to fill in the gaps, but get them started in the right direction so they aren’t surprised later.

Sidenote: be careful about your metaphors, analogies and similes. Each one will put a picture into readers’ minds, and it can quickly get overcrowded with imagery. You’re asking them to ignore your real scene and think of something else. Use them to confirm and amplify the scene you have, and limit distractions.

5. Prepare to publish.

Typos are bad, but perfectionism will ruin you. This section is about editing and proofreading, but I don’t have time for all that, and you don’t either. The real problem with a story is rarely the number of typos. A very clean book isn’t better if people stop reading.

You can solve a lot of common writing problems, with my big list of 25 common writing mistakes, and self-edit your manuscript to make it as good as possible. After that, a copyeditor or proofreader isn’t always the best investment (and it can also be the biggest publishing cost).

Instead, use an editing software (I like Grammarly) to root out obvious mistakes, but don’t dwell on the small stuff like perfecting every word or rearranging the commas. Spending a very long time wrestling a poorly-written manuscript in shape is less effective than getting something (actually) done to the point where you’re comfortable sharing it.

This may be difficult at first, but you can’t learn and improve without genuine reader feedback (from people who aren’t your mom or best friend; nor the short-sighted opinions of a self-proclaimed literature enthusiast). You need to find readers who enjoy your particular genre, and the sooner you find them, the more valuable feedback you can get.

Shorten the feedback loop: Get over the fear and focus on learning by getting feedback early and often. However, this doesn’t just mean joining a writer’s club: writers are brutal and might focus on trivial things. The safest bet is to make it public, on Wattpad at least. Or get a cheap cover and throw it up on Kindle, Draft2Digital or even your own blog.

Making it public is scary and vulnerable, but it’s better than letting the fear of messing up keep you from the brutal, necessary experience of allowing readers to tell you what they liked and disliked about your writing. Will some people be critical? Yes! But guess what, you’ll get negative reviews even if you’re a brilliant, famous writer. Those are inevitable. And the first negative reviews may teach you more about writing than 10 years attempting to self-edit, afraid of putting your book out into the world.

PS. You can use resources, like my 24-chapter plot outline, as a way to spot story gaps in your manuscript and improve the structure (especially if your book suffers from a “soggy middle.)

Derek Murphy has a PhD in Literature, writes urban fantasy and is the founder of the alliance of young adult authors. More recently, he’s started sharing writing tips on http://www.writethemagic.com

Top photo by Adegbenro Emmanuel Dipo on Unsplash.