#posing is shit and you cant even understand! should i explain

[furkrum]

"no way! shes too cool for me!!"

[unknownanomoly]

Holy shit...

heh... my birthday gift and my pet just died.... I got a tailless whip scorpion as a surprise pet for my birthday from my step mom and my father, I was really excited, not my first pet since a few months before around thanksgiving I got a tarantula that I named Super Nova, she is still alive... anyways. This scorpion I named Mr. Neptune (idk if it was a girl or boy but who cares anymore..).... yesterday he was doing just fine, walking around and doing whatever dumb shit they do in cages... then today in the morning he was sitting in the middle of his cage... i thought nothing of it.... after school, same pose, he was alive since he moved his jaws and sorta moved closer to the ground when i sprayed his cage (not explaining its a care thing for his species)... that was two hours ago... now almost three.... he was alive... and suddenly hes just dead! ive looked at 50 sites before caring for him, while caring for him, made sure over and over again i was doing the right thing! right humidity, tempature, food! everything was fine.... now hes gone and idk why.... why did he fucking die! i dont understand!.... he didnt even get his first molt with me.... he didnt even get to grow up fully... and somehow... super nova really is super and is still only gone through one tiny molt, still a baby, and trying to climb up a glass wall she cant... heh.... im not stopping any drawings... and im still starting commissions on monday... im just sad and things might be slow... thank you and i love all you guys, you guys are really the best fans, thank you to all my mutuals, thank you @rithiathemoth for being there for me the most, thank you for being my first mutual, your a great friend even though we dont even know each other in real life, only on tumblr... still, thanks to you all, mutuals, followers, people i follow who have liked or joined in on my group drawings, i get really really excited when you do.... And side note for my partner, who im on call with at this moment of writing this, thank you, for being with my stupid ass for 4 years, thank you so much for loving me like you do, i have never felt more loved by someone since my mom left me at 4... 4 years ago we met, and you helped me out of depression and almost killing myself, you helped me so much, more then you'll ever know, and i know we dont understand eachother as much as we should, but i love you so fucking much, and i want you by my side forever, your the reason i continued going, continued doing art, started violin, still trying to this fucking day in this fucked up unfair world, you really are the best, i love you so fucking much i really fucking do.....

[ragecndybars]

Top five poor little meow meows, any medium but limit it to one per series or you're just gonna talk about Akihiko five times

this ask is a landmine. and i'm about to step on it.

Anthy Himemiya. Hashtag Anthy Did Nothing Wrong. Everything she did is retroactively morally correct purely because it was her who did it. True, she has a bodycount of, at an absolute minimum, 100 students who burned to death + Mikage himself + Kanae, but have you considered: she is terminally in middle school. Using magic illusions and or hallucinations to drive Mikage to mass murder and eventual death? They hate to see a girlboss winning. That last episode and her whole, uh, thing with Utena? God forbid women do anything. The way she fucks with Nanami, too, simply because of the Recognition of the Self through the Other (derogatory). ALSO IS SHE MIKI AND KOZUE'S STEP MOTHER OR WAS THAT A METAPHOR. ANSWER ME IKUHARA. Not that it actually matters bc she was just having a category five girl moment. Get your princess witch dichotomy out of here she's my special little meow meow and she deserves to travel the world with Chuchu and Utena while Akio rots underground <3

Edelgard von Hresvelg. Sorry but nothing need be said here. Other ppl have said it all already. Black Eagles 4 Lyfe.

Chidori Yoshino. Yes, she was party to multiple murders. No, there was no real goal or justification beyond money. Yes, she was utterly indifferent to the blood on her hands. No, she never really changed her mind about that or ever came to understand why standing idly by and letting Takaya murder people who she helped track down was bad, nor did anyone ever really try to explain it to her. Yes, she kind of just said "whatever man" and went off to have her own character arc completely divorced from the murder. No, I do not care. She is my precious little angel she didn't deserve anything that happened to her she needs all the love and understanding in the world.

Clive Dove. MFW I'm traumatized and orphaned as a child and the man responsible not only faces no consequences but even becomes Prime Minister and so I build an entire fake future London underground beneath the real London and conspire with a man who created an actual real functional time machine to trick some people and kidnap the prime minister and smuggle him away and make a fake evil future version of the guy who comforted me after my parents died and then pose as the future version of his apprentice to get close to him and kidnap his daughter also at one point and really just let everything get out of hand up until the point I get caught and hop into an enormous mechanical fortress and pop out through the ground slash ceiling of my fake future london to start smashing the shit out of the real london all the while the woman who literally travelled through time is like damn i'm dying and now my bf and i cant even have a nice last date. Anyway Clive is peak and he should have faced zero consequences for this. But Bill Hawks needs to die ASAP.

Leonard Church. The misogynist of all time. He loved his wife who he constantly referred to as a horrid bitch so much. He loved his daughter who he neglected and emotionally abused by comparing her to the impossible standard of her dead mother soooo much. He loved himself so fucking little that he tortured himself to create an AI out of himself and then he tortured the AI to try to create a new version of his wife out of his own memories. The neglect and emotional abuse of his daughter is continuing in a big way throughout this tbh. Then he accidentally tortures his AI self too much to the point where AI him loses his memory and his fake-ass AI wife who despises him now for what he did has to kidnap him from himself and now he's just back to being a huge asshole who calls his wife a horrid bitch all the time. And then he can eventually develop a conscience and start to remember more and more (and cause irreversible trauma and brain damage to wash at one point in there oops) and then even though he still doesn't remember her, he can team up with his daughter to track down his original, human self to stop him from continuously committing war crimes and human rights violations in his efforts to resurrect his wife. and he can finally put his wife who he calls a bitch to rest. I'm not gonna say I love you... I'm gonna say... I forget you. I'm letting you go. And then he can die pathetically as a human while his better AI version sticks around with his daughter who he still doesn't really remember for a while until he eventually has to sacrifice himself as well. And ain't that just a bitch.

[raindancer2004]

Alec and his Cinderella

Word Count: 3,195 Alec x reader Part One Warnings: Alec is aged up. Fluff, Angst

Alec was sitting his room reading although he wasn’t enjoying the book; having read it many times before. He came to the realisation that he was bored; he needed a change of scenery, something new to do but he wasn’t sure what. “Are you ok brother?” Jane asked “You’ve been looking at the same page for ten minutes” Alec didn’t answer her right away “I’m just…a little bored. I mean I’ve read this book many times before….” “Well of course it’s your favourite” Jane cut him off “I know…but…oh I don’t know…” He ran his fingers through his hair “I suppose I’m…bored. We haven’t had a mission in weeks” Alec continued, Jane nodded “I didn’t realise it had been that long brother.”

Aro called a meeting with the elite guard “Thank you for coming dear ones. My brothers and I have something we would like to discuss with you. Renesmee is now fully grown and has requested the chance to go out into the human world; attend High School, see what it’s like but doesn’t wish to do so with her family. She got in touch to ask if it was ok for her to do so seeing as her father told Caius that he would keep her hidden from the human world” “Glad to see one of the Cullen children has a brain cell” Caius said snidely, causing the guards to smirk; Aro rolled his eyes at his brother and continued “She has agreed that one of you accompany her instead. I just need a volunteer” “No chance” Felix mumbled “I’ll go master. I think a change of scenery will be good” Alec replied “Fancy your chances with her do you?” Demetri asked winking at Alec “Oh yeah totally” Alec replied sarcastically and rolling his eyes.

“Will you be coming too sister?” “No. I couldn’t possibly leave Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum on their own for that length of time, imagine the chaos” Jane replied nodding in Demetri and Felix’s direction “Ha…I do love the affectionate nicknames you give each other” Aro said smiling “I doubt he’d say that if he knew some of the names we call her” Felix said low to Demetri, who choked back a laugh.

“That’s settled then Alec will be going to forks and the three of you will stay here and cover his duties. Although I might get Afton to cover Alec’s guard duties” Caius said with a wicked smile. “How soon do I need to be in Forks?” Alec asked “In a rush to see her are we?” Felix asked grinning “Grow up” Alec glared him. “You can leave as soon as you are ready, my boy” Aro answered “Give our best wishes to them won’t you Alec” Marcus said low “Of course master” He replied and returned to his room to pack.

Sometime later Demetri, Jane and Felix stopped by “So how come you volunteered so quick to go High School? I thought you hated humans” Demetri asked “Not to mention the Cullens” Felix added “I came to the realisation recently that I am bored and would like a change of scenery…and well this will provide me with that” Alec answered “Rather you than me mate…I mean the Cullens are bad enough but to be around that Dog all the time, no thanks” Felix said scrunching up his nose at the thought of the Wolf pack. “Just remember you have to play nice with the humans Alec…They’re your friends now so that means you cannot eat them” Demetri says smirking pointing his index finger at him; Felix and Jane cant help laughing “Get bent” Alec growled “Really sister?” He asked turning to face her “I’m sorry but that was funny, it was like weird dad advice” She said giggling “Don’t eat your friends…ha” She continued to laugh “If you need me to attend parent / teacher conferences, you only have to call” Demetri added smiling, Jane was practically doubled over with laughter “Can you…i-imagine it…Demetri attend-attending…those meetings...he’d flirt with all your teachers” “At least Alec would get good grades then” Felix added laughing “Thank you so much for your support in this…it’s truly overwhelming” Alec said not sounding amused “Sorry brother…you have my full support…honest” Jane said trying to sound serious now “Yes…you have my full support too…son” Demetri smiled and gave Alec a playful wink. “Mine too” Felix adds.

A few days Alec arrived in Forks, Esme collecting him from the airport “Hello Alec. It’s nice to see you. I trust you had a good flight?” She asked him “Hello Mrs Cullen. It’s nice to see you too. The flight was ok if you don’t count the child that spent half the flight crying and screaming” He replied “Sorry to hear that. No need for Mrs Cullen, you can call me Esme” “Thank you Mrs…Esme” He replied “We have set you up in Edward’s old room, there’s a bookcase full of books, a desk even a TV and a bed, should you wish to relax in your own space” She told him with a smile “Thank you for letting me stay with you” “You’re very welcome Alec. It’s the least we can do seeing as you are helping out Renesmee. I do have to tell you though there is one rule that must be followed during your stay. You aren’t allowed to…satisfy your dietary requirements shall we say in Forks. You will need to leave the city for that” “I understand…we have a similar rule back home…Volterra is out of bounds when it comes to...satisfying our dietary requirement” Alec responds.

Esme pulls up on the drive and sees Renesmee waiting for them “I should warn you Renesmee is really excited you’re here so…be prepared for a hug” Alec nods ‘surely she wouldn’t’ he thought to himself. “Alec! You’re here” Renesmee calls out; running and wrapping her arms around his neck giving him a hug, Alec hesitantly wraps his arms around her waist “Told you” Esme says smiling as she walks past them. “Ha…you owe me $10 Jas” Emmett calls out laughing.

That night Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Jasper sat in the family room with Alec and explained the cover story the school were told regarding himself and Renesmee. “It has been several years since any of our children have attended the school here; so we had to come with a plausible cover you and Ness, especially as no one really knows about her and I still work at the local hospital” Carlisle began, Alec nodded “Just a bit background for you first regarding us. Jasper poses as Rosalie’s twin and they use her last name Hale and it is known that they are the niece and nephew of Esme’s late brother. Emmett, Alice and Edward all use the name Cullen as Esme and I adopted them” Carlisle added. “Ok, so how do Renesmee and I fit into the family?” Alec asked “So Jasper had the idea that you and Ness should pose as siblings and use his last name of Whitlock. You would be the Carlisle’s niece and nephew and after losing your parents recently you have come to live with us” Esme explained. “That sounds alright actually. You’re good at this” Alec smiled. “Oh and we thought it would make sense if you and Ness were twins so you’d be in the same year at school” Alice added smiling “I have your new ID too courtesy of a friend” Jasper said handing Alec a birth certificate and passport “Thank you Jasper”

The day before school starts Renesmee pays Alec a visit “I’m going to hunting, would you like to come?” She asked him “You mean animals?” He asked in return his nose wrinkling at the thought “Not necessarily…I mean prefer your diet to ours…so I game either way” She smiled and he noticed the mischievous glint in her eyes “As much as I’d love that, I do not think your family would approve of you switching to my diet during my stay” Alec answered “Well then that means you can try our diet during your stay. Come on I’ll show you how to hunt animals” She sounded excited at the thought of showing someone how to hunt so he didn’t tell her that he had hunted animals previously on a mission albeit decades ago.

“Oh my god! You were so fast and you took down that Mountain Lion quicker than dad usually does” Ness said grinning as she and Alec entered the house “You taught me well Ness” Alec praised her “Thank you Alec” Edward chuckled having read Alec’s thoughts that he had hunted animals before but he appreciated Alec’s little lie and the hunting trip had helped them bond a little.

“Where have you been? Why are you with him?” Jake almost growled giving Alec a disgusted look “Shit” Emmett said from upstairs “Get lost Jake. Where I go and who with is none of your business” Ness replied “Come on Alec” She grabbed his hand and went to walk around Jake but he side stepped blocking her path “That is where you are wrong. It is my business” Jake raised his voice and before Ness knew what was happening Alec pushed her behind him and squared up to Jake “You have a problem with Ness, you have a problem with me! And for the record Ness doesn’t report to you, she can do whatever she likes. NOW MOVE!” Alec growled and stood his ground ready to defend Ness if needed, after all she was his ‘sister’ and no one was going to hurt her. Jake snarled at Alec and began shaking “Take it outside Jake!” Jasper warned from the top of the stairs “Don’t make me tell you a second time” “FINE!” Jake shoved past Alec on the way out “This isn’t over” He mumbled as he slammed the door behind him. “Thank you Alec” Ness said low “You’re welcome. Come on you promised me a movie night remember” Alec replied walking upstairs and Ness followed.

“I didn’t expect him to protect Ness like that” Emmett said to Jasper and Edward “Posing as siblings is easier if you think of one another as siblings” Edward replied “You mean he…he thinks of her a sister?” Jasper asked “Kind of. Think of it like this he is so used to having Jane around and doing things with her and although he knows she can take care of herself, he still protects and defends her. He has fallen into that brotherly role easily with Ness because A) she is alot younger than he is B) he didn’t like the way Jake spoke to her and C) he’s unsure if Ness could fully defend herself against Jake’s wolf form if she was ever put in that situation” Edward answered. “It’s a good thing he’s here then, maybe Jake will back off and respect her decision” Jasper replied.

Alec and Renesmee start High School the following week, the start of a new school year and Alec was surprised to discover that he was excited about this new venture. Although he missed Jane it was nice having Ness around and he had to admit he liked her company. Her view on things, on life was different; refreshing, as she was seeing everything for the first time, experiencing everything for the time and he had become fascinated by her and her reaction to the world. Ness introduced him to the world of Disney and the many princesses that lived within it. He decided to introduce Jane to the world of Disney once he was back at the castle.

The atmosphere at the Cullen house was quite relaxed compared to the castle; it definitely had a ‘family home’ vibe that he got used to very quickly, Esme and Carlisle making him feel as though he was part of their family from day one. He got along with Jasper easily as they would talk about history for hours; exchanging ‘war stories’ at times too. Emmett and Alec bonded over Emmett’s computer games; Alec would often beat him at Mario Cart, but would lose to him when playing Killer Instinct. Alice reminded him of Jane when it came to her knowledge of fashion trends; the season’s newest colours, her love of shopping and having her nails painted. Rosalie taught Alec about cars and he was amazed by her knowledge and love of them.

The first term of school went by rather quickly; Alec and Ness joined the chess team and Alec is elected the team captain. They both scored top marks in their ‘team project’ for history; Alec having been around during that time gave them an advantage.

They went to a school field trip to the Seattle Museum; something Alec and Ness found interesting and amusing “Hey, I’ve just realised something” Ness said low to Alec; who raised an eyebrow at her “You’re probably older than some of the exhibits Alec” Ness whispered “Are you saying I’m old?” “No not at all Alec…I’m saying you’re ancient” Ness said laughing “You say ancient, I say experienced, young one” Alec replied smiling “Young one? – Ha. You’re funny Alec” Ness responded.

A few days later Jake arrived at the Cullen house whilst everyone was out except for Alec and Ness “Ness! Ness! Where are you?” Jake yelled as he made his way through the house; Ness purposely ignoring him “So Alec, I’m struggling with question four, can you please explain it?” Ness asked as she and Alec were doing their homework together. “Of course. So…” “What the hell Ness? Did you not hear me call you?” Jake cut off Alec “And why are you here with him?” “I did hear you call and I chose to ignore you and what does it look like I’m doing?” Ness replied “Don’t take that tone with me!” Jake growled out “You should be at home not here” “You don’t own me Jacob and I don’t have to answer to you” Ness replied “That is where you are wrong! You belong to ME” He growled getting closer to her “And I forbid you to spend time with him outside of school. Is that clear?!” Ness didn’t answer “IS THAT CLEAR?!” He growled louder, mere inches from Ness when black mist swirled around him removing all of his senses but one – hearing “Listen to me Jake. Ness doesn’t belong to you, she doesn’t belong to anyone. Ness can do what she wants, when she wants and with whomever she wants. If you ever speak to her that way again I will RIP you to pieces and burn them. Is that understood…DOG?!” Alec got louder as he spoke. “Ness doesn’t want you. You should leave…NOW!” Alec added calmly but authoratively and returned Jake’s senses; Jake was preparing to lunge at Ness but Alec was quicker he pushed Ness out of the way and threw Jake across the room. Jake crashed through the glass balcony doors and landed in a heap outside, right at Emmett’s feet. “I think that means you’re not welcome here Jake” Emmett smirks as he steps over him making his way inside. Carlisle and Esme flash to Alec’s room to find Ness crying and being in Alec’s arms “You’re ok…I’ve got you. You’re safe…I promise” Alec whispered and tightened his hold on her. Carlisle and Esme took a seat on the bed and Alec filled them on Jake’s visit and apologised for the damage to the doors.

The High School decided to throw a ‘Winter Masquerade Ball’ with the emphasis on being the ‘mystery behind the mask.’ As ball got nearer, Alec and Ness went shopping for their outfits and masks. Ness picked a deep purple sleeveless floor length dress, a purple and black mask, and a pair of black shoes. Alec chose a dark grey suit with a deep purple shirt, a light grey tie and black shoes. His mask was black and grey. “I’m really excited, I’ve never been to a ball before” Ness said grinning ear to ear “I must admit it has been a long time since I attended a ball. The masters used to hold them regularly at the castle, but there hasn’t been one in quite some time” He told her.

Y/N attends the ‘Winter Masquerade Ball’ at the High School and Alec noticed her the moment she entered the school hall dressed in a pink sleeveless prom dress with white flowers scattered over the dress with a pink and silver mask. “Sorry Alec, am I keeping you from something or someone?” Renesmee asked with a smile when she noticed him look over shoulder towards the door “No…I…Er…What was you saying?” Alec responded “I was just asking if you think you’ll dance with anyone here tonight?” Renesmee replied “Well…erm…a girl in a pink dress just came in on her own, so I could ask her…but what about you?” “Go ask her to dance, I’ll be ok. I can ask Matt from English class” Ness replied “Thank you Ness. How will you which one is Matt, the whole point of tonight is the ‘mystery behind the mask’?” Alec asked curious “I heard Matt tell Lee what colour mask he’ll be wearing” Ness replied.

Alec approached the girl in the pink dress “Would you like to dance?” He smiled and held his hand out to her. “That’d be nice thank you” Y/N placed her hand in his and he led them to the dance floor.

They danced and spoke to one another throughout the night; never exchanging names. Alec found himself becoming intrigued by her; the way she moved elegantly around the dance floor with him, the warmth he felt holding her in his arms during the slow songs, her voice was soft and her laugh was quickly becoming his new favourite sound. “Would you like a drink?” He asked her “Yes, please a drink sounds good” She replied “Wait here. I’ll be right back” Alec made his way to the drinks table and got the girl a drink, making himself one too. He turned and started to make his way back to her when he saw her look at the clock and then turn and run from the room. Alec set the drinks down on a table of full of teenagers and followed her out; being careful to run at a human speed. He couldn’t see her; she had disappeared before he was able to say goodnight, before he could get her name or number, something he was going to do at the end of the Ball. He tried to pick up her scent, follow her to ensure she got home safe but that’s when he realised that he hadn’t recognised her scent whilst dancing with her, so that meant they didn’t have any classes together. ‘wait she had no scent, not one I can remember anyway’ he thought to himself. He felt frustrated as he had never felt so at peace around a human before and now he’s lost her;  the only reminder that she was real, the only clue he had to try and find her was a silver shoe she left behind as she ran off into the night.

[urmomsstuntdouble]

ok not sure how comprehensible this post is gonna be but! regarding the languages discussion, here are my thoughts about the anglo americans. be warned this post is long as fuck, but thank you so much if you do read all of it, and i’d love to hear your thoughts about it as well! 

so i just wanna start with alfred’s name- alfred. i think he may be named after alfred the great of wessex, who may or may not have been the first king of england. he wasn’t technically the king of a unified england that we’d think of it as today- he was the king of wessex, as his title implies, but there was a point at which he was “in charge” or however you want to put it of most of present day southern england. anyway this presents the first of his issues with his identity. he’s permanently tied to britain beyond just his culture and most common language- his name is a reminder of who he “belongs to.” of course most people don’t know that and they just think it’s a little odd that this 19yo miles morales type is called alfred but eh, what are you gonna do. 

then you have the fact that there’s no official language in the US, which makes things a little harder for him. he’s never sure what language he’s supposed to be speaking in, as the human representative of america. he thinks it should be english, seeing as that is the lingua franca, but there’s times when he just doesn’t vibe with english as a language. i mentioned before that he struggles with keeping his (spanish) dialects straight (which @cupofkey summed up as immigrant-kid-syndrome and that’s exactly it), although its not limited to just spanish. he also has a hard time keeping other shit in line, to the extent where his thoughts are a messy jumble of languages, concepts, images, and feelings. this is most evident when he’s nervous, because his accent will get super thick and he’ll start just saying the words that pop into his mind, even if they’re in another language or straight up not words at all. the only peson who can understand him when he’s doing this is canada. both of them are countries of immigrants, although they are different in who immigrated and when, so they dont have the exact same nervous tick language, but it’s close enough that they can communicate well. it’s sort of like a more global version of europanto? might sound something like this to an outside observer, but again, more global (also for the video they dont start talking until 1:17). 

america and canada also have a sort of inextricable bond because of the first nations people. the first tribe that comes to mind are the members of the okanagan national alliance, which straddles the present day border of british columbia and washington state (this is also something america shares with mexico). it’s caused a lot of pain between them personally, and with the okanagan nation. just as the border itself is vague- though the us-canada border is more respected than the okanagan borders- the parts of their identities are also vague. they feel bits and pieces of themselves ebbing and flowing, and matt and fred have gotten into arguments about it because they struggle to define their identities and they just want to be able to explain themselves to themselves. but you know that often winds up causing friction with the okanagan nations, because whatever issues with identity regarding their indigenous people fred and matt are having. they’ve got it worse, only in a sort of..negative image. like whereas fred and matt feel it on the fringes of themselves, making it so they cant tell where they end and other nations begin, the okanagan nations feel themselves being slowly eroded. none of them want each other to suffer, though, because the okanagan people can be americans and canadians and okanagans all at the same time. 

this also applies with the american border with mexico, seeing as there’s some areas in the southwestern us where spanish is spoken more than english. when he’s down there, freddie finds it easier to communicate than when he’s speaking english. chicano is his language just as much as english is- he just sort of became able to speak it when the west was colonized, and he already knew spanish for business purposes, so there ya go. there are some issues with that though because the spanish in the west is primarily from mexico and central america, whereas the east is more from the caribbean- like how miami has a large cuban minority. so he’s got a weird sort of chicano english too, because it’s no longer “pure” chicano. pure is a very loose term there because there is of course variation within southwestern chicano speakers. angelinos don’t have the same chicano as nuevomexicanos. anyway i think he’d get it mixed up with spanish proper or spanglish a lot because of the similar phonetic rules. i’m not sure about any indigenous tribes who have land that straddles the us-mexico border, but that’s probably not alfred’s biggest worry with That Border. actually no i think he might purposefully talk in an aggressively chicano dialect whenever someone in the government wants to talk to him about the ice concentration camps. like he usually doesn’t try that hard to keep the wrong language out of his mouth but he will go Full Chicano, just to make them uncomfortable and to try to get the point across that he can literally feel the physical pain of the people trapped at the border in those camps. but this also causes some tension with the countries of origins of those people, seeing as they can also feel that pain. there’s quite a lot of discourse between america, mexico, guatemala, honduras, and el salvador about that, because none of them quite know what to do. they argue again about whose pain it is and how they should, as nation personifications, deal with it.

another thing that he struggles with where matt is concerned is with his indigenous languages. the languages of his northernmost people are the most at risk and endangered, and some are actually in the process of dying. he hates that, because as much as he wants to act like he speaks just SCE and quebecois, he doesn’t. he knows all of his people’s languages, and it makes him feel like he’s losing his identity a little bit when his indigenous languages start fading away. the worst part about this is that he doesn’t even always know it’s happening until the fading feeling kicks in, so sometimes he’ll just make a point of going up to the northwestern territories and try to hang out with the oldest inuit people he can find to try and have a chat. and it’s ROUGH communicating at first but when he can get back into it he feels more solid and defined. i think this isn’t unique to him, and that the other countries in the americas do this too, but bc of the way civil rights work in canada, it’s a little different for him. because indigenous canadians are recognized as a certain class of citizen, indigenous canadian governments have a collective legal bargaining power and could theoretically ask for legal protections from the ottowa government for their languages. however, this doesn’t apply to the northwest territories, so that’s why matt goes there specifically to talk to old ass indigenous people. their languages aren’t protected legally in the same way that french and quebecois are, so he sort of takes it upon himself as mr canada to do preserve the languages and history. it’s especially sad when a language dies out forever, because then he’s one of very few people who still speak it and if he wants anyone else to know about it he’d have to teach them. but since the language is dead, there’s no one for him to get help from. the people who once spoke it are gone or use other languages now, and it’s all very weight of the world on his shoulders. i think this makes him very sad, because of the weirdly smug left wing anti-american nature of canadian nationalism. like he understands exactly the sort of pressure freddie is under but also has a cultural pressure to not say anything about it or even offer to help. 

this is also why he has the most boring and basic idiolect out of perhaps the entire anglosphere- even arthur has a distinct posh dialect that he uses most of the time. matthew talks like a textbook. a very polite and anxious textbook, but a textbook all the same. and matthew williams actually kind of likes what alfred jones has going on, but canada doesn’t. canada fell into british hands after the end of the 7yr war, which happened to be the war that sparked the american revolution (speaking of which the ages for america and canada make no goddamn sense, ask me about it if you want more detailed thoughts). loyalists fled to canada, and developed a superiority complex around the idea that they weren’t ungrateful. then it was about how they weren’t slave owners- which isn’t entirely true- and in the present day, even in hetalia canon, canadians often define themselves in relation to america. that is, they are better than americans because of xyz political thing. right now, to quote the anime, it’s “our free healthcare and lack of gun crime, eh.” this also poses some difficulties for canada in terms of culture, though, because if that much of their national pride comes from being better than america, what do they have to make a name for themselves? for anglo canadians, that’s a more complicated question. for quebeckers, it’s that the’re not anglo canadians. but quebec is also annoying as fuck and canada actually has nightmares about there being a successful secession movement there, so. i don’t know what the average anglo canadian thinks of quebec seeing as im not an average anglo canadian, but i do know that i hate their accents so now matt does too, although he will respect their right to have their language protected by the ottowa government (because quebec, that’s why). 

anyway i do have one last thought and that’s that nobody will ever really know america or canada like they know each other. they struggle with a lot of the same issues regarding language, but america has just sort of given up. in some ways, matt’s jealous of him, and in others he’s so glad he’s not the united states. but they do understand each other a lot as the anglo americans, and as some of the number one destinations for immigration out of the entire world. so yeah, i dont have any specific strong conclusion ot this post, but would absolutely love to hear your thoughts about languages in the americas! shit’s wack in this neck of the woods my dudes. 

oh actually one last thing. i think america and canada struggle a bit with their identities because they dont fit into any one specific group, linguistically or otherwise. they feel a bit isolated from the rest of the world specifically due to the intensity of the melting pot effect, and even within their own countries sometimes. people will be like oh you’re too white or you’re too black or you’re too dine or too much whatever other culture, so they often feel isolated from that stuff because they are all of those things, and have a deep connection with all of it. anyway they’ll always be there for each other

[words-for-holland]

Happier (6) | T.H.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: A deep conversation between Tom & Y/N takes place. Tom offers a solution to Y/N’s problem, but does she take it?! Can Harrison convince her?

A/N: It’s a rather short chapter but a lot of Tom & Y/N action!! I absolutely love reading all your therories and comments! Thank you guys so much for reading & sticking around!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Betrayal

Its a vile word for the people you trusted your life with. Still in a state of shock, Y/N couldnt understand why Katie would have betrayed her like this. To think she was her best friend through thick and thin, always having each other’s back...it all seemed meaningless. Now here she was, packing up and trying to figure out where to go from here. London wasn’t an option and neither was the city with the rent being so high up.

As if her path was written by the stars, Tom had decided to call her the moment she started zipping up her bag. Y/N knew it wasn’t a good idea to answer, but it was almost instinctive in the moment. Truthfully, she needed someone. Someone to tell her it was going to be okay. “Hey, look. I know you probably hate me after the last time we talked on the phone like this, but I just wanted to say Im sorry.” Tom’s voice spoke softly through the phone as he let out a slight chuckle of nervousness.

Y/N smiled slightly as she listened to his voice. It was the most conforting thing she had heard, and could only imagine his voice wrapping around her to make her feel some sort of ease. “Yeah. No it’s um..it’s fine, really.” Y/N responds trying to calm her breathing after sobbing for the past hour.

“Yeah I guess, you were right. Maybe I was just jealous, because..I mean you already knownhow I feel. But you’re your own person so I can totally understand why you’d want to see new people. After all you broke up with me and—” Tom started getting more nervous as he continued to over explain his reasoning, but Y/N didnt seem to pay any attention as she lets out what was bothering her.

“Kate’s been crossing us.” She interrupts.

“Wait what? What do you mean?” Tom asks now more concerned, pushing the phone closer to his ear.

“She leaked information about Natalie staying thats where the rumors came from and she sent those pictures of Matt and I to Natalie’s publicist.” Y/N says as she closes her eyes.

Tom was more confused and in complete shock. Not understanding why Y/N’s most trusted best friend who do this to her. “Y/N...I dont know what to say..I’m sorry.” He replies, feeling defeated that there was nothing he could do, especially since she was so far away from him. Even if Y/N would have rejected his advances, he knew she needed him...now more than ever.

“Don’t be. It’s fine.” Y/N lies as she sits down on the bed, silently crying.

“No, it’s not Y/N. I know you’re hurting and I wish I could be there to do something about it.” Y/N smiles at his words. For every sad and painful moment, there would always be some sort of comfort. Tom was hers. For a moment...just one moment, she forgot about all the terrible things that happened. The betrayal, the rumors, Natalie. The moment felt like it was meant just for Tom and Y/N.

But not all moments last forever. Y/N’s phone went off, alerting her of a notification. In fear, she thought the unknown number was ready to leave another threat for talking to Tom, but it wasn’t. Though it was just a simple Twitter notification that came up, it showed that Tom and Natalie were out again on display for the Public. Casually flirting back and forth, with pictures of their social media interaction with each other. Her heart sank even more..if it was even possible.

He was still with her, even if it was pretend. Y/N thought back to when Natalie first arrived to stay with them, and how she slowly tried to flirt her way and spend time with Tom. She thought about how well they worked and looked good together, and how she left Tom saying “You’d be happier with her.” While it was all under the unknown’s plan to say those exact words, Y/N couldn’t help but feel some sort of truth to it. Certainly, she wasn’t happier with everything thats happened, but for Tom...at least he still had a chance to be happier with Natalie.

“Y/N? You still there?” Tom asked through the phone, when he didn’t hear Y/N say anything for a good while.

She shook her head to stop her thoughts as she replied, “Yeah...still here.”

“Oh okay. Good. I thought you hung up on me.” Tom laughs nervously. “Look, uhh maybe we should focus on what you’re gonna do. So do you have a place to stay?”

Y/N looks around as she sighs in defeat. “No. I’d find an apartment but the rent is so high here in the city especially for those that live alone, and I really dont feel like moving back in with my parents right now.”

Tom listened to her dilemma closely, when he offered without hesitation, “Come back here.”

“Tom, you know thats not an option nor a good idea for us. I told you we needed space, and I certainly don’t want to live under the same roof with a girl your fake dating at the moment.” She says in digust, voiced laced with anger.

“Calm down, Y/N. Im just offering you a solution and I could make sure you don’t see her. It’s a big house after all.”

“It’s not happening.” Y/N says quickly to end the dispute. Y/N stops to think about her other option, one Tom make not very well like. “Maybe I could ask Matt. I know he doesnt live too far from here.”

“Okay, now you’re being delusional. That’s definitely not happening.” Tom scoffs, as he thinks about the sickening idea. “I don’t want you near him.”

“You cant tell me what to do.”Y/N snaps at him. “Just like I’m not telling to stop being near Natalie, let alone enter a PR relationship.”

“Well at least Im being honest and open about it and not hiding it like an immature child.” Tom fires back. Y/N was at a loss with the way he responded to her. While she did keep it secret, deep down she knew it was for his own good..but he would never know. “Im sorry. I didnt mean it. It’s just...I wish you were more honest with me..with everything. It hurts you know.”

“Yeah..” Y/N whispers on the phone, feeling guilty and upset by where they’ve ended up. “I know. I’m sorry too. I want to be honest with you about everything but I cant for good reason.”

“No reason is good enough, if you have to keep secrets from people you love.” Tom says bluntly. “Look Im not gonna make you choose where you want to go from here. It’s your decision and life. Im just saying my door is always open for you...no matter how many times you hurt me.”

“It’s not your obligation Tom. I’ll be fine with whatever happens to me. I have to be, but thank you.” Y/N says as she bids him farewell.

As Y/N grabs her stuff and heads toward the door so do Harrison and Harry. “We booked a hotel for a night, if you want to stay with us.” Harry says as he tried his best to smile for her.

Y/N does in return and nods. “Yeah. Okay let’s go.”

Harry, Harrison, and Y/N made it to Aviary Hotel in silence. No one was sure what they should say to the other, when everything had gone to shit in the past month. Once everyone settled down, Harry decided to go down and grab food the group, while Harrison stayed to watch over Y/N in case she needed anything. “So, you told Tom, Im guessing?” Harrison asked, sitting across the other bed as he watched her intently.

Y/N nodded not saying anything as she brushed her hair avoiding eye contact. She thought for a moment deciding if she should tell him about what really happened in the phone conversation. “He and I fought..kinda I guess. I told him I didnt have a place to stay and he wanted me to stay with you guys, but I said it’s not a good idea and then I mentioned Matt, and everything went downhill from there.”

“Wait why not? Why can’t you stay with us?” Harrison asked.

Y/N gave him a look as if he didn’t know the reason already. His blue eyes shifting from surprise to realization. “Right, I forgot.” They sat in silence for a few seconds before Harrison interjects again. “You know, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I know Natalie and the unknown number still poses a threat, not to mention risky, but it’d be unexpected for them.” He offered.

Y/N thinks hard about it, her brows furrowing. “Yeah okay...but how does this that make it any better knowing that Im living with my ex-boyfriend who is also living under the same roof with a girl that he’s fake dating not to mention your childhood friend, and may very well be the other person terrorizing me.”

Harrison looks at her as he rubs his face in embarassment. “Well..when you put it that way.”

“Harrison, you can put it in any other way you want, it’s still going to be a bad idea.” She says.

“Look just think about it, okay. Its a big house, and you can use the attic room upstairs if you dont want to see anyone and have schedules until we can sort all of this out. And if it bothers you that much I even have a friend that lives close by who also needs a roommate herself.”

Y/N looks at Harrison skeptically, as he weighs out her options. “You really out here trying to find a way to make me stay with you guys and leave home huh?”

Harrison smiles as he combs back his dirty blonde hair. “No, Y/N. This here?” He points out arms wide, gesturing to the room to represent New York. “It was your home. Your real home, whether you want to believe it or not, it’s with us back in London. I know everything has been rough between you and Tom, but we’re going to find a way. I promise.”

Y/N sheds a tear, as she hears Harrison speak. He was right. Home just didn’t feel like home anymore. Not without them, but as much as she wanted to say yes, the odds of it being okay were against her...that couldn’t be ignored.

“So what do you say?”

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl​ @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams @averyfosterthoughts​ @fangirl-with-a-mission @drishtisikarwar @eridanuswave​ @ifntelyinspirit @trumpettay @astridcommings @parkershoco @racewife2004 @sleepybesson @greatpizzascissorstaco @andievgs

[pocparks]

volume 8 opening? kinda lame sksnsksns

idk what it is,,, its like,,, whenever they have good imagery they dont stay on it long enough and whenever things get janky they stay on it too long. this is just going to be me nitpicking certain parts to explain why the op disappointed me

this bit right here with ironwood,,

i fully understand what they were going for here, they were going for they were going for this

kind of effect from the dororo opening (actually the whole opening feels like someone on the team watched and fully enjoyed dororo)

but it just doesnt work because everything is so goddamn bright! and atlas in ironwood is so small you can barely see it pan the camera down him or something or like put him in a different pose, project the fall of atlas onto his back (weight on his shoulders get it?) also

right here the background behind him should have went fully black or like as dark as the sky in his chest is as it is it doesnt feel as sinister or forboding as they probably wanted it to be because they only drop it like 2 shades darker than before. are they scared of the colour black or something??? (even in blakes design where is the black??)

this part here

(forgive me i dont know how to make gifs)

salem moves too /normally/ here and its not scary, the blacks are good and the eyes of the grimm behind her are good but salem herself isnt scary here! she comes up behind oscar a little too slow and not even for a slowmo effect because we see her cape move in regular speed. its like salem trying to spook oscar with all the enthusiasm of a powerpoint transition, make her actually zoom in there gdi! (maybe someone on the team can watch devilman and take inspo from there)

exaggerate the shadows here! salem has black scleras, concentrate the shadows on her face so she looks like the grimm behind her! (black shadows on the face and glowing red eyes are like anime 101) get rid of the cape if you cant get it to move at the same speed as her! smth like this!

(this is just a rough edit i threw together so you could see what i had in mind)

salem is supposed to big this big evil witch lady, a humanoid grimm, an immortal monster, why dont they try a little harder to make her LOOK like ome

moving on, this right here, this sequence with the schnees?

JANK!!!! especially whatever willow and whitley are supposed to be doing (because they dont do anything!) the character animation has gone so far from the poser days but they chose to just leave these two standing like mannequins?? for what??? have them move!

theyre both supposed to be having doubts here right? have them slowly look away from the schnee logo to add more weight to when it shatters. exaggerate the contrast here, all their colours kind of blur together into a blueish gray, why not try make them look more dynamic (white whites and dark shadows)

these cracks here look SUPER lame, theyre too thin theres no variation in thickness, i get the message theyre trying to send here but it could be so much MORE!! if youre going to add in effects with 2d make them POP!!!! you have more freedom with 2d than 3d take adavantage of it!!!! the reflection behind her isnt even that distorted by the cracks it feels like an afterthought

then theres the floaty action sequence, i dont even,,, please watch an action anime please im begging the camera doesnt have to /do all of that/ its okay to cut between characters, and again this shits too BRIGHT

AND THIS!

this is SUPER JANK!!!!!!

the beat in the song that rwby freezes on just isnt impactful enough to make this effect work it feels so awkward, and why does nothing,,, change,,, after it freezes (how do i even explain this) cinder just walks smugly as the background fades away then grabs her arm it makes me wonder what the point of them freezing even was!!! and when she grabs her arm in pain

i dont believe this bitch is in pain! this is as convincing as the chunnibyou guy from saiki k

the rest of the op is just kind of blah,,, the sinking in the water sequence was nice

this is goofy looking i dont even know how they would fix this just dont turn salem around this shits goofy

and the part with the words? corny throw that away!!!

on god i feel like they could make a great opening, and they’ve obviously seen one or two good anime openings before and tried to emulate those but i just wanna sit them down and force them to watch and analyze anime openings for a month.

they need to get into the mindset that this is something people are going to see every. episode. make it look good! make it exciting, this one was boring and for something that takes up 2 whole minutes of the already short episode runtime that makes it feel like a waste.

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh RESUME

back at it again w/the hxh, heres my recap of the last few eps 

ok so i totally forgot to recap that one ep at the end of the hunter exam arc lets see what i remember from like 3 wks ago lollll

i thiiiiink i left off in the middle of ep 21 lol. i really dont remember much tbh so im gonna skim the ep to refresh

exposition time! its so wild that if you lose ur hunter card That It like u cant get another or retake the exam hgabjdfuhasjf Ls 

also the fact that you can sell it is rlly interesting 

leorio & kurapika backing up gon as he confronts illumi again :’) good lil family 

illumi u fool. gon is a shounen protag. he can do anything he sets his mind to

the fact that gon thanks illumi for telling him where killua is....hes literally THAT polite like...what a perfect boy 

hisoka just fuckgin stepping out of the shadows....ok bitch 

the fact that gon fucked up illumis arm that bad with one hand....boi is STRONK 

AUGH AUGH AUGHHHH HISOKA IS SO CREEPY AUGHHH I HATE THIS BIIIITCH 

ok but like is illumi implying that hisoka is a fr p*do bc uhhhhh thats so nasty oh lord. pls stay away from gon, and killua, and like everyone as a matter of fact 

EWWWWWWWWWW I HATE HISOKA HES SO NASTY. PLS STOP MAKING P*RNO FACES IN RELATION TO 12 YR OLD BOYS. 

no but rlly what IS hisoka gonna do now. im assuming he’ll show up p soon (tho probs not in the zoldyc arc like i thought bc its shorter than i thought) 

ok the fact that they have the internet is hilariously wild to me for some reason....it just seems like this would be one of those fantasy shounen worlds with very little tech (a la one piece) but lol nope we can just google shit hvbhjdhjdfks

gon: it was fun when you beat me up for 3 hours and broke my arm! seeya dude!

i love gon he is so chill and doesnt seem to hold grudges except when it really matters (like hisoka and illumi) 

hanzo has.....ninja business cards....thats amazing hvbhsdjkujfnd

dont worry pokkle, leorio was basically carried thru the hunter exam by various people and also won by default. he still deserves his license tho

an exotic game hunter sounds pretty cool! i wonder if we’ll see pokkle again. kinda doubt it? that sounds pretty firmly non-combat based, and therefore probably pretty far from any plot lol

so gons dad is a bigshot huh.....whatever hed be a bigger deal if he didnt abandon his son tbh 

gon swinging his feet on the bench....sooo cute 

so ging could restore a bunch of ruins but he couldnt raise his son...ok

im just gonna be bitter at this guy for abandoning the most perfect boy vhbhjfbsjhdhbfsk sorry dude but being a good hunter doesnt make up for being a shit father 

gon is so precious ;_; 

WHAT WAS SATOTZ GONNA SAY TO GON???

why does it look like theyre googling things on MS paint 

ah yes, padokea, on the continent of Africa But Sideways 

idk if i talked abt it before but the world map is WILD lmao i love how its all the continents/landmasses scrambled around.....im super curious abt that weird island in the top center of the map, thats the only thing that immediately sticks out as not having a real life equivalent 

the music in this show is so charming :’) i love the main theme sm 

gon is sooo precious i literally cant get over it. and his hurry to rescue killua is so sweet....and i love how naturally charming/charismatic gon is....pretty much everyone he meets likes him, especially leorio and kurapika, who basically adopted him after knowing him for like a day, and continue to be completely taken by him

ok wtf is satotz & co talking abt......do they know something abt ging that they arent allowed to tell gon???? shouldnt gon have access to the same info now that hes a hunter? i need ANSWERS

i bet this whole thing abt the hunter exam not rlly being over is a metaphor abt the hunter exam NEVER truly ending bc youre always being tested, or st

ok the ED continues to be So Much like especially the last shot where the 4 main characters look like theyre posing for a JC Penny catalog while the singer goes FULL metal-screamo

ok ruth and i just rewatched the next two eps woohoo

i love that there are tourist busses that take people to the front gates so they can like pose for pics and stuff vhbhjafdsfkj and its like ‘ah yes here are where the local assassins live!’ thats so funny yet it makes so much sense

i love that leorio passed tf out during the bus ride. big big mood 

gon is so cute...hes like ok yes i understand that we’re not supposed to go in but i think they can make an exception for me bc im very polite. 

those 2 dudes r so ugly and so dead god bless

that bigass buster sword....sir please 

ruth and i rlly thot that the old guard guy was gonna turn out to be grandpa zoldyk or st lol

the fact that the dog managed to eat All their flesh but left some clothes....skill 

also the dog is named mike but it sounds like the guy is calling him miku hvbjdfssk

this cant be the first time some morons have been killed here likeeee 

i cant believe nobody has visited the zoldyk estate in 20 years damn they all rlly b havin no friends. depressing 

the whole gates thing is wild. also that part where gon gets the math wrong on the weight.....BIG mood kiddo 

ok the part where gons on the phone w/the butler is soooo good oh man. i love how gon just calmly dials the phone again after hes hung up on the first time and then YELLS....and leorio and kurapikas faces r so good 

also the butler guy unfortunately has a point, it isnt foolproof that gon is here Legit....but he IS let him see his tiny bf :( 

as ruth pointed out, the butler guy is reminiscent of kuro from one piece. same vibes 

maybe if leorio was jacked like he is in the manga/1999 anime he couldve opened the gate that first time around....Ls 

god i love this shows approach to Everything so far,....as ruth put it, half the time its like ‘oh wow they should do [x]/i wish theyd do [x] but ofc they wont cause its a shounen’ but then they DO do [x] and its like damn thats dope 

anyways i love how gon is increasingly approaching situations with his Plucky Shounen Protag Attitude in full swing, and he pretty much gets shot down every time. BUT his general determination to see killua bc killuas his FRIEND and hes gonna RESCUE HIM is still a good and pure motivating force 

like here, when hes climbing over the wall and hes like whatever i dont wanna have to deal w/being tested thats bullshit, i wanna see killua, my intentions are pure, im gonna try my luck with the dog....i was like ok yeah he’ll get over and like tame or defeat the dog and the guard will be suitably impressed bc nobodys ever done That before, and then gon will continue on to get killua 

but NOPE instead the guard calls him down and explains that gon Will Die if he tries that, and then the guard will die too for letting that happen. and gon is like oh shit my actions have consequences for people other than me, wow. 

and THEN the guard takes them in to meet the dog. and hot DAMN that is a scary creature. not even really a dog tbh. they did an excellent job making the dog Legit Scary and not just like, big and flashy looking....those eyes are so soulless, and the proportions are freaky 

and the guard says exactly what i was thinking - that gon would use his Country Boy Woodland Creature Skills to workaround the dog....but then the subversion - this creature is NOTHING like the woodland critters gon is probably used to dealing with. theres no way gon stood a chance here. the guard just saved him from a really unfortunate death 

i love all the Super Heavy Stuff in the servant house that seems so inconvenient vbhjdkfasjfld. also forgot to mention earlier but the guard guy being Absolutely Ripped was wild and kinda funny 

training montage! gon continues to be so cute. and i love so much how leorio and kurapika are like no, you rest, we’ll take care of this. good parents!!!!

and then!!!! they sync up and use the power of gay love to almost open the gate. but then gon uses the power of Improbable Shounen Protag Healing Speed to toss that arm sling off and help out

i feel like leorio was side-eyeing gon like w8 a sec u broke that arm like a few days ago that aint right.....

oh man i almost forgot abt that scene with the zoldyks torturing killua :( :( this poor kid he doesnt deserve that 

also mom zoldyck seems truly awful but i must say her aesthetic does fuck. the victorian-lookin outfit paired with the futuristic cyclops visor thing....excellent. also im betting this face bandages are from killua cutting her face 

this family is so fucked up hvbsjdhjfbakdfn

killua telling his mom that gon is definitely gonna make it there :’) hes got such unshakable faith in his bf thats so good.....

back w/the gang, and immediately they run into more trouble in the form of the young girl butler, whose name i dont know, but i love her....her design is SO good oh man. a non-caricature black person? who also isnt sexualized? in MY anime??????

 i love how gons approach to conflict is currently ‘let more powerful person beat me up for hours straight in hopes that they get tired or something idk bro’ like....i love him lol, is it in an effort to show how determined he is? he doesnt even try to dodge her blows or get around her....id be tryin to hop that fence lol 

oh shit the tiny zoldyk kid from earlier is spying on them....she was w/the mom so im sure thats not good

when he punches the rock part and it breaks....strong boiiii 

oh man that little flashback from when killua first came back and told her that he made a friend ;_; bruh 

i love butler girl :( she wants to let gon but knows it isnt allowed....and as soon as she starts to waver BAM here comes mom zoldyck JFC that was so sudden and jarring....im assuming butler girl isnt dead cause that would be lame and anticlimactic 

also IS THAT NEN??? NEN>>>??? NEN??? HM? NEN????????? 

im so annoying abt nen i need to make one of those ‘is this a pigeon?’ memes w/’is this nen?’ bc thats me anytime anything remotely weird happens lmao

i do think its rlly nen this time tho

anyways shit is wild, cant wait to meet the full zoldyck family 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

as i said above i doubt hisoka will show up now bc this arc is a lot shorter than i anticipated. also im doubting that illumis even gonna show up honestly 

i think we’re gonna have this OP for a while, as the part just at the end shows gon and hisoka fighting in what looks to be an arena, and ik the next arc is the heavens arena arc, which im assuming is the tournament arc....

also i have no idea what that weird building in the OP is but my guess is that its the building w/the heavens arena in it bc its tall and,,,,heaven 

i predict there wont be much fighting in this little arc bc how tf else is it so short. at this point i rlly think gon is just gonna grab killua and go lmao. im super curious abt how thats gonna go down, considering that killua is currently strung up just bc he wont apologize...so i cant imagine his family would just let him leave w/gon. i wonder if killua will fight them, or if gons determination will impress them and then theyll let killua go (doubt it)

thats basically it....we’ll see abt the next few eps holla

[mispronouncing-michaelangelo]

cw: talking about my mum again sorry, its under the cut cause i dont know if its gonna be long

okay, ima keep this calm and linear (both of those already feel like lies), but i need to get this outta my system but i also dont wanna work myself into a soft rage,, so here we fucking go,, basically im maori (woaw, whomstve guessed) and im from a specific group, and were a big ol’ family, and you need to be able to prove that your descended from someone who was a part of the family way back in good ol 1848 and its a huge thing,,, and the family does alot to take care of you cause of some treaty stuff they are able to offer grants and educations and stuff like that, which is super lucky and super great and im super grateful that the family is able to provide that and care for us like that, because i know so so so many indigenous groups dont have that, and i understand how lucky that is,,, but the thing is,,,,,, im maori on my mothers side,,,,, and shes a fucking cunt,,,, and all my family stuff is in her email and her name and we dont talk and if god is kind i should never need to talk to her again,, but! she has the password to my family online accounts and stuff,, which is how they contact you and share info and stuff, which means i cant get to any of that,,, and i cannot change my password because its also all attatched to her email adress, which means even if i send a request for a new password, itll be sent to her,,, and i dont want to deal with that shit,, and also i didnt let her sign up with all her info,, she signed up without asking me because she obvs knows all the info and she signed me and all my brothers up because shes a fucking manipulative filthy sack of shit and she wanted to pose as the good and caring mother™ who goes above and beyond for her kids even when were not all having happy fun family time uwu and its a thankless task and she does it from the goodness of her heart,,, but thats all fucking bullshit, she did it as an act of showmanship,, and she did it as a means to try and force me and one of my brothers to actually talk to her so fuck her and fuck that,,, but its working because now i fucking cant get to the account,, and i might have to actually contact the website people to explain whats happening and see if they can help me actually get my account but its all so much bigger of an issue then it needs to be,, and she fucking had my email account too,, there was no need for her to put it in her own account other then to be an ass, and i know she had my fucking email,, cause she kept fucking emailing me,, i fucking hate this whole fucking situation

[myunknownsource]

Parental Alienation

Hello,

 I am sure you're curious what this would bring you to. And I would love to get right to the point. TLDR at the bottom.

Ronee (candle-jacked) told you all a bunch of lies. The first one being that her ex had abandoned them in October. We had their son for Christmas 2 months after he supposedly abandoned them. We didn't even start dating until December.. And then she told you that he called her on new years eve to tell her they needed to break up even though they had been broken up for many many months at this point. Trust me he was extremely occupied new years eve. The only reason I can think she thought they were together was because at some point before we started dating his roomates girlfriend at the time was thinking about leaving and getting her own place and he wanted to see if Ronee would be open to the idea of him, her, their son, and his other roommate in getting a place. He only wanted to do that so it was easier for him to see his son. He ultimately changed his mind when he was skeptical of her getting a job and pulling her weight evenly, which had never really happened well in the past, the only time it did money was held over his head while he watched and took care of their son. Justin and I started dating at the beginning of December after dating for 2-3 weeks in November. We hit it off extremely well and seeing that we have been together for 4 years says a lot. I’m sure you all know and support someone who started their relationship extremely quickly and if you're ok with that it would be very hypocritical of you not to be ok with this. Which is exactly why I didn't quite understand why Ronee herself freaked out when her entire relationship with justin not only started while she still had a boyfriend but it became a sexual relationship before they were ever bf and gf. Not that I would ever care or judge something like that. I think the next lie we can talk about would be the “paramour”a lover, especially the illicit partner of a married person” shit. Justin and Ronee weren't married, they were not engaged, they weren't even dating.  Its just yet another spiteful name she felt the need to call me, alongside bashing my sexual history (which seems pretty anti feminist to me) as well as telling people I sold my body for money (i wouldn't have even been 18 so lets thank god thats not true) and that i frequently fist fought my mother and my brother, also not true you can literally ask them lol. I have an amazing relationship with my mother who i was actually just visiting in AL where they moved and my brother who just got back from fighting for your freedom just left my house like 2 hours ago. SO yeah. 

Another lie she told me herself when she was trying to get me to turn on Justin was that they were engaged when we started dating. Did she tell you guys about that or just me? Apparently because she didn't like traditional rings she didn't have one to prove it to me because he was designing one specifically for her.. Im sorry guys and no offence to justin but he doesn't care about stuff like that, its weird for him and I have come to accept that. Now on the other hand if she had told me that he asked her to design it I would have maybe believe her because thats more his style. She also told you guys his own family disowned him, that isnt even close to true. She even tried to say it was because I assaulted his sister? Whos was a minor at the time and still is now. SOO lets poke some holes in this story shall we? Justins mother and I are arguing about who knows what, I really cant remember and her daughter is behind her on the stairs (im in the basement with justin) the argument is getting heated and Donna (justins mother) decides to come about 15ft forward until there's about 3ft between us. (his sister is still on the stairs) but apparently mid argument I freak out and punch his sister? Whos 20ft away from me, past his mother? Maybe Ronee can clear that up for us. On top of that if I assaulted a minor that would have been an easy instant phone call to the police and I would have a very easy to find record in Missouri. Yet I dont. Because that didn't happen. Also why did we move back in with Donna when we had to abruptly move to missouri per instructions from our GAL (mareks lawyer from the courts) because otherwise Ronee would get the visitation she wanted which was supervised (though she had no evidence to be granted that) for 4 hours a few times a month. Despite the fact that we lived 4 hours away. Anyways, where were we? Ahh yes. Donna welcomed us into her home because at the time we were her chance at seeing their son (her grandson). I got a semi sincere apology from her for punching me in the face that night and we moved on from it, becasue im a good person. Ronee still says his family hates him but lets do a headcount. Justin, his brother, his mother and his sister, also 2 cousins. WHo doesnt like Donna? Justin, his brother, and his 2 cousins because they all also know what their parents told them about their shitty aunt. Even Ronee herself said she was a shitty mother and that Diane was there for justin more than his mom. 

Now its time for court. Ronees lawyer approached us. We found out that had we not shown up the judge would have granted what Ronee wanted (the 4 hours supervised a few times a month) which is funny because when justin called Diane (Ronees mother) she boasted how she wouldn't let Ronee take Marek away if justin couldn't make it and wouldn't let Ronee do the supervised visits because she knew he was a good dad. BULLSHIT lol. He also specifically asked us to not talk to her about what we wanted in the visitation plan because when we did she would call him crying about how she didnt want Justin apart of anything…. HE TOLD US HE DIDNT WANT TO DEAL WITH HER BS TOO! Eventually we hired a cheap lawyer who we were told wasn't the best but at this point her lawyer won't communicate with Justin even though he was representing himself and we needed someone who could file these documents when we couldn't. We had to explain to the GAL that justin hadn't seen his son in over a year and we had to show him the texts we had from a prepaid phone to Ronee where she REFUSED to let Justin talk to his son for unknown reason (jk we all know why) and he ordered that we get him that day and would start an every other weekend schedule until things got worked out with the courts. She sent her mother to bring hsia son that day and this woman has the audacity to tell Justin that this all could have been avoided. 

But I think one of the most important pieces of information I can give you is that Justin has tried to pay her support for the last 9mo-12mo after he had to quite the job where his money was being garnished. We have the venmo receipts after it took her 5 months to finally agree to accept payment from, then he was laid off for 3 months per his work contract which we also have on file and he sent her about ⅓ of what he was ordered to pay (he had no job and he sent her most of the spending money he got that I budgeted for each of us from my paychecks) about half way through his lay off he asked her something about how he thought it would be a good idea if she reported the CS payments every 6 months to the CS office. It would have been free but she was the only one who could do it. It wasn't even a demand but a suggestion that could have been talked about, we legitimately thought we had finally rounded a curve and we all could start co parenting together, but apparently he wasn't aloud to give her suggestions because she blocked him on venmo, went off on him on talking parents (the app she forced him into using despite the fact that shes in contempt of court for doing that) and specifically told him she would never report the money. We also have snips of that convo if you guys want it. Justin hasnt talked to his son in about 6 months. The few times he “has” it doesnt sound like a 9 yo and its demeaning things that Ronee herself has said in the past. About a month ago he got a call from Marek and was actually getting somewhere after he started to explain things to him. He even told his son about how in June he was parked in front of his house to get him for his 2 week summer vacation and Ronee hadnt let him get him and his son told him in a very said voice that he never knew that. Then the line went dead. Ronee texted from his sons phone saying this isn't the time to talk about that and hes been blocked ever since. 

TLDR; Ronee Halsey (candle-jacked) is abusing her power as a co parent with my fiance and abusing their child through parental abuse. 

P.S. I know I will receive backlash from her closest friends who think they know the story and thats ok because I cant sit here for one more minute while she gets away with this(I will block you though). I would be more than happy to supply everyone with any and all evidence I have. 

P.P.S OMG I almost forgot the worst part. Ronee decided one day she was going to accuse Justin of abusing their son. I knew it was going to end up happening (i grew up with a dad who had a high conflict ex wife) so every single time we picked up and dropped off their son i would discretely ask him to pose for pictures either by himself or with me or his dad. Not even Justin knew I was doing this but thank the lord I did. Because Ronee Halsey crossed that line you should never cross and accused someone of actual physical child abuse. But because shes a mother in the state of MO nothing came of it. Despite the pictures I sent to her lawyer and the GAL he supposedly met with their son and he came to the conclusion that he did infact have a black eye and busted lip but he got it while wrestling his dad. DESPITE THE FACT THAT MY PICTURES OF HIM WITHIN MINUTES OF GETTING IN AND OUT OF M Y CAR FOR THAT WEEKEND SHOWED HE DIDNT HAVE A SINGLE MARK ON HIM. The saddest part is that when I recorded the conversation Justin had with Marek the next weekend he told Justin that he never saw or felt pain from them, he said his mother told him they weren't the kind he could see. I will gladly send snips from those emails to you guys. 

@chewybitart @notlemha @karygurl @sushichan24 @eagleoverlord @thementalwayfarer @angelsdoexist @saltwaterhermit @candle-jacked

[t-pose-to-assert-gayness]

I had an epiphany today

I know that I’m not a professional artist by any means - I’ve only been using my drawing tablet for a little over 2 years and I’ve only been getting serious for the past 18 months or so - even more so recently, but I want to share some valuable advice that I haven’t heard anyone say until now. It’s something I’ve needed to hear so some of you beginners will probably need to hear this now or in the future.

Recently, I’ve been feeling shit about my art. I’ve been wanting it to be better and I keep falling into old habits and I know that i see something I’ve drawn and that it’s just not good or correct at all. I know it sounds corny but I want to put my heart and soul into what I work on and so I want it to be perfect. Right now, the problem is that i don’t know how to fix certain things so I have to ask for help (which is totally something you SHOULD be doing) but the fact that I can’t do it on my own annoys me. There’s an old post from here that i saw a few years ago, which showed a graph (I cant for the life of me link it because i’ve tried multiple times in the past to find it again) a little like this.

I really believe in this chart. It shows that your perception of what’s good and your physical drawing skill almost step up in complete opposite bursts from each other. This is why you will start to see your drawings “get worse” when in reality, your skill just isn’t increasing at that current time - however, your perception is.

You need to understand that you cannot become an Art God (tm) right away. You also can’t have your skills incubate without doing anything and think “oh i’ll be good in a couple years so i wont try” no bitch thats not how the game works.

Constant practice is what drives constant improvement. You may not be absolutely great now, but you are still allowed to enjoy it! You’ll get there eventually, why not have a little fun along the way?

I might not like my art teacher all that much but today she actually said something that I took to heart. Today she explained what we have to complete for our course and she talked about how you may not like some of the things that you do, but keep those in a folder. The examiners will look at them, but only save your best work for your exhibition. Your folder shows your journey. It’s a necessary journey, but there is still work that you’ll produce that will be your best. That’s the work you can show off and be proud of, but still appreciate the not-so-good work because you’ve learned something from it. You tried something, you learned how to do and not to do something. You can use that art to improve your further endeavours. It’s all about the journey. Art is a journey.

Let me put this into an online art world perspective for you:

Say you have a portfolio on the internet that you only upload your best art to so you can show it off to your friends and other artists because you’re proud of it. And say that you also save all your art into one folder on your computer. Not all of it is good in there. some shit with wonky proportions. the head was too big, that lineart was crap, their hands look like they were mangled by a fucking combine harvester and then reattached, etc.

Your portfolio is your best work. You’re proud of it. Cool.

Your art folder is full of unfinished sketches that you went back to and thought “ew thats awful” and so you vowed never to do that again. See? you learned something. You learned not to make the head that big. You learned that the way you drew that hand was not in sync with the rest of the drawing.

YOU LEARNED SOMETHING AND THAT’S JUST AS IMPORTANT AS CREATING SOMETHING YOU’RE PROUD OF. WHY? BECAUSE YOU CAN TAKE THE NOTES THAT YOU MAKE FROM YOUR OWN SHORTCOMINGS IN YOUR WORK AND YOU CAN IMPROVE NEXT TIME. TURN YOUR TRASH INTO TREASURE.

To finish: some quickfire tips that I’ve learned.

Find communities where you can share your art and get feedback. Discord servers, Deviantart groups, etc

Make art friends! Holy shit bro if you dont do that then who are you going to

ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT YOU AREN’T BEING RUDE FOR FUCK’S SAKE NOT EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET IS EVIL THEY’LL BE HAPPY TO HELP IF YOU’RE NICE AND POLITE!!

Send artists you like asks and questions in DMs (if they have them open to non-mutuals)! If you are ignored, just fire them an ask on anon or another quick message cause they might either be a) busy or b) they didn’t see the notification for the messages

Participate in collabs and fandom projects or even make your own! like holy queen elizabeth II on a wheel after starting The Beach City Witch Project (a Steven Universe fan episode animatic) in 2017, I got the chance to meet and work with artists whom i’d been looking up to for LITERALLY YEARS. They are really super nice and chill people and I actively ask for a quick redlining of a pose or a question about commission etiquette or something and it really helps me. I now have a discord full of over 100 people who create music, art, literature, etc. Not everyone in the server is active all the time, but we have a core active user-base of about 30 people. We have a chat for art references, a chat for sharing links to cool art we’ve found (the #1 rule is that you credit or link directly to the artist/art) and we have a chat for posting and critiquing art that you’ve made. It’s a really good system and one that I recommend to anyone with an art-focussed server.

I hope that there is at least something in this block of text that someone has needed to hear. Please reblog this so I can spread my kinda shitty wisdom because i know how y’all feel. I felt that way once. I feel that way now and I will again in the future. You aren’t alone.

[kenmaiii]

stop being jealous and bitter!

Now i know you cant outright just throw away your jealousy in the art community. You see a really cool popular artist or just someone with absolutely amzing art and you think “wow holy shit their art is so good i wish that was me and that i could do that....” I understand that spite can be a good thing sometimes; it can be what motivates you to improve and do well, especially if the artist is well... not the best person in terms of personality. Great, that’s even more motivation to do well right!? 

But when does all the comparing go too far?

----------------------------------------long post incoming------------------------------------------

Now i’ve had people very close to me do this. I’ve been told that im ‘popular’ which im honestly not seriously. They could probably be reading this right now, but this has been bothering me for awhile so i must get this out there. Let’s step into a certain mindset for a moment:-

You hate your artwork. You hate your current skills. Sure there are artists you like. But then there are ‘THOSE’ ones. You have very specific artists you follow just because theyre so good and popular they make you feel bitter and you still check up on them regularly to fuel that bitterness. You know good and well that they make you bitter and angry and peeved but you just keep going back.

Step back for a moment and think.... why on earth am i fucking doing this???? Comparing and feeling bitter about another persons skill or popularity and letting yourself stay sad and bitter isn’t good for ANYTHING, art aside. It’s good to want to feel validated at the work you spent time on but it WILL get tiring if you keep complaining that ‘your art is bad’, ‘your art isnt good’, ‘its shit’ or ‘garbage’. Your brain is just internalizing that and hindering your work and future improvement. It’s most importantly WASTING YOUR own time, YOU the creator. And not to sound snobby here, i really truly dont intend for that, but some of you know good and well that you keep belitting you work because you only just want people to compliment your art when youre only doing the bare minimum to improve! I can only tell you as a friend or an on-looker that i love your art so many times (as much i really do love it and hope for your improvement) if you continuously decide to still turn around and say you hate your work and tell me im wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why reach for compliments then! Why continuously turn them down?

And i’m not saying you cant ever not like your art (cause it happens) or decline a compliment, but to do it every single time....it leaves a bad image for your work. You either start to believe it, or the person complimenting you will get put off from your negativity!  

It makes people feel bad, especially if theyre also artist AND also your friends. You can’t keep saying you prefer their work and still put down your own. It makes your artist friend uncomfortable. They might not know how to respond when you keep doing it. And im sure they wouldnt want you to keep making yourself feel bad. Personally, i wish all my art friends success and improvement, and i want them to love and feel proud of their work more than the times they hate it. We really need to uplift each other as artists.

Thanks.

What you think and say is what you become and if youre always negative and comparing youre gonna tear down both the person you admire and yourself. Ie, if youre constantly thinking ‘ill never be as good as this person’,’no ones ever gonna like my work’, ‘i cant color as well as they do’ or saying that your work is only ever garbage... newsflash asshole! your mind absorbs that negativity and makes you believe it! u fool!!!!! Because brains are stupid and can be your worst enemy at times! 

Sometimes you just need to stOP looking at certain peoples work completely if it gets you that bitter or angry or sad. Unfollow them! Block them! Delete their name from your search history if you have to! Stop hurting yourself and forget about them, it’s like trying to think about an ex thats moved on. Pointless.

Negative emotions such as sadness and anger are our brains direct ways at trying to reach out to ourselves.

You: seeing cool art Your mind: remembering you dont have some of those skills or popularity + comparing = sadness/ anger/ bitterness at not being able to be at that lvl withtin the same timeframe or less

Your brain is trying to tell you to fix this! But you know you might not have the tools to gain that much popularity or become so good at anatomy, coloring , compositions or backgrounds overnight, so the only solution for your brain is to self-sabotage.

It’s just the same as suddenly feeling sad for no reason. It’s your mind trying to work out a problem you never resolved. Maybe your friends haven’t replied in awhile and you feel ignored. Or you subconsciously remembered a bad experience without really realizing. You’ll get sad. Your mind is is saying ‘Hey asshole im sad. I know it might be out of your control but I’ll stay sad about this one thing until you resolve it somehow. ’ (whether it be blindly distracting yourself on purpose or fully wallowing in the feelings)

So we realized youre feeling intensely about this persons work vs your own...then what exactly happened there? The answer is pretty simple. Some kind of information processing happened in your brain. The result of this processing made the your mind conclude that one of your existing problems (art in this case) can never be solved; whether conscious or unconscious, and this explains why your mood might change all of a sudden without any kind of warning signs (in relation to what you saw). 

Inspired VS Jealousy When youre inspired youre working against yourself in a GOOD way. You’re feeling motivated to make something great! Youre feeling motivated to make something better than the last piece!! And honestly thats wonderful!!!  That is a lot nicer than being in art-block, comparison negativity hell.

YOU are the only one responsible for where you are as an artist. That goes towards every artist of every skill level! There’s always someone better than you and there’s always someone worse than you. People get better at art in different intervals depending on how much they take in or put into practicing. Some people just get some concepts and fundamentals a lot easier and quicker than others but that doesn’t mean they naturally had that ability from birth. They put in the work just as you should be doing instead of feeling so intensely negative! But when you’re jealous and negative all the time, that’s when it starts to go downhill. :/

Jealously is a very human emotion at its core. And im not saying its super easy to deal with and just suddenly get over, but there are things you can do to slowly help yourself do it at least a little less.

Here’s the best things you CAN do instead:- - Write down some of the things you find yourself feeling bitter over about, especially when you look at another artists work? Ask yourself why these specific things? If it’s something you yourself can work on in your own pieces then maybe uh do that?  - Find the time to practice your work. - Practice even more. - If it’s your style that you arent happy with think of the artstyles you like and set aside time to mimic the way that artist might draw something (hence adding that to YOUR style). Take a sketchbook page or two and just draw entirely in those styles. - Practice. I can’t stress this enough. I know artists say this a lot and it can kind of just be thrown around carelessly, but if you keep putting this off and saying you don’t want to practice or talking about how time is going by when you should be practicing things.... and STILL refuse to practice then???? I cant help you sorry. Time waits for no one, so sometimes you need to grab time by the horns and kick its ass for awhile. Put in that effort! - Please use references. Even better if you use it nearly EVERYTIME you draw something, especially yknow...if its a pose, body part or background that you know you have no idea how to properly express! Find a stock image or a variety of websites to use! Save poses that you like from online magazines, other artists and photographs you see anywhere online. I like to look at online magazines from other countries or photographers, and there are tons of places like pinterest or instagram and whatnot. - Stop comparing and being bitter. Ii cant say this enough it gets me so ticked off, but my stubborn taurus self refuses to fully go off until it all piles up and this post is the result lol. If you know you can’t let go hating on a certain artist (for no good reason) then dont hate-follow them! Don’t check up on their work constantly! Don’t even talk about them!!!!!!! Try to get them out of your head for goodness sakes. Majority of the time they dont even know who YOU are so why are you worried about what they’re up to. - STOP SHITTING ON YOUR OWN WORK. - STOP IT RIGHT NOW. - AS THE ARTIST SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO SAY ‘’hey, my work isn’t exactly where i want it to be at this point in time and it may never be but i can appreciate that i’ve gotten better at a lot of things and im better than where i was a few years/ a year/ a month ago/ even weeks ago.” - ”I’m proud of this piece and can’t wait to get even better.” - Art is a struggle that takes time, effort and a lot of work. There’s always going to be someone better than you and there’s always going to be someone worse than you. You can only strive to get to the level that would make you happiest, otherwise you will get irritated with it and feel absolutely miserable about everything you produce. - PUT IN THE WORK TO GET YOUR ART OUT THERE. Social media has been both a curse and a blessing to artists all around. It’s made it easier for us to share our work around and opened paths for making money online and at home and connecting with other artists, but competition grows everyday as more people post their work in the same market. (ie another reason why it can be hard to get your commissions out there) Also as artists we want that dopamine rush you get from people liking your stuff, i get that its gucci. -But if you aren’t tagging your works well, posting somewhat consistently, not really bothering to talk to people in certain art communities (even people in your fandom because hey potential friends and even partners on future projects), not adding your works to groups (a big problem i see with people on places like deviantart mostly), joining and sharing them in art group chats/aminos/discords, joining events to get yourself out there (such as zines/big bangs/gift exchanges etc), giving tips and advice or even little helpful tutorials to people then how do you expect to be noticed? How.  If youre not doing at least TWO of these things then hoW can you complain about not getting attention. :(

 Of course you dont have to do ALL of this. Im just saying ...if you arent out there advertising how will more people know about you? This leads to you thinking no one likes your art (skill level excluded because even my cringiest old art would have a few comments or encouragements to see my future improvement, and i still want to hide when people like/comment/reblog said old art to this very day). 

I understand mainly OC artists feel this way that no ones gonna like their characters, or it just doesnt get reblogged enough in general but thats understandable too. No one is ‘selling out’ if they only do fanart. No one is ‘snobby or scared to get themselves out there’ if theyre really enthusiastic about their stories and worlds. Otherwise we wouldnt have fandoms int he first place, theyre all someones work. And hell, good for you if you draw both. It really is just a matter of how you put yourself out there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’ll take some time but there IS always someone out there that likes your stuff. And sometimes you just have to be content with making work for yourself, work that makes you happy. The online art world is tough especially when youre small but once you fall into the depths of bitterness its hard to rewire your mind...

This is how yall should be looking at your/others work majority of the time: You: seeing cool art  Your mind: omg thats beautiful! i wish i could draw and paint like that. i should practice more , try out some poses and anatomy or implement what they do into my work. i wanna make a cool ass piece like this too i feel so pumped to draw and work!! 

And that’s that! Do yourself a favor and be happier you bastards! Its tiring being negative and sad all the time and i want tf out of it. Its so very tiring and annoying to be sad and bitter as shit!!!!! My goD

I can’t really think of anything else to add to this and the text may appear angry sometimes as i was very heated when i wrote this but tried to tone it down a lot hfkds. Im not some ‘art guru goddess with supreme skill uwuw’ but advice is advice! It’s always up to the person listening to take it or not.

I’m gonna end this with one of my favorite art quotes of all time from t h e Arin Hanson himself. Because it really is true. 

Get yourself out there, practice towards a level that makes you content and try to have more fun with loving your work.

It’s taken me a long while to post this, as i’ve been feeling this way for...at least a couple months??? but i finally put it all out there i just needed to do this lol.  Sorry if i mightve repeated info sometimes here and there?

This post is just as much of a call out to my own actions but more so @ those of you that specifically do this! 

[johnnythirteenguns]

just seen justice league (this isnt spoiler free at all)

also went to thor: ragnarok for the third time to wash the taste out.

so i went to go see it for miller, momoa, and mera in that order. i was super impressed with mera. i thought they were gonna go the like easy way and give her an Accent like the amazons, but they didnt. even though her cadence was different like idk man i know very little about dc but i picked up a one-shot earlier this year where mera neatly beats the fuck out of the justice league on her own and she’s a semi-jerk who kind of hates surface dwellers and you know what for the thirty seconds we had her onscreen i believed it and she was powerful and felt like a character with backstory and i COMPLETELY didnt hear what aquaman was saying i just heard her side of the conversation

man ben affleck really doesnt wanna be here huh anyway we should recast him at the earliest convenience

also why was batman 90% CGI like fine i get it no one can be a gymnast in a 50 lb rubber suit but like every single one of his moves that required any bending had to have been cgi

speaking of which the cgi isnt like bad in and of itself it’s just typical like it’s the cgi youre used to seeing. it doesnt blend seamlessly into anything and the characters dont blend seamlessly into it. the cornfield looks fake as can fucking be and i dont really know why? what else there was another fucking weird cgi moment. anyway, steppenwolf is ugly as sin and has no emotion and is all one color and is??? generally weird looking

speaking of which. he is not frightening at all. the New Gods isnt something casual dc fans are gonna be familiar with (i am barely familiar with it) and like? apparently, darkseid was supposed to have scenes in this but didnt? anyway go see thor ragnarok which features 1) a horned villain that is legitimately terrifying and powerful, that you fully believe can do the things she does, and who is beautifully designed and 2) features glow-y eyed masses of disposable soldiers that are cool but goofy and dont take themselves too seriously but were still frightening and made for thrilling fights because you believed they could actually pose a threat to the characters they were attacking

the beginning... uh i think like three scenes of the film looked pretty good, but they looked like cutscenes. very GOOD cutscenes, but honestly... if i wanted it to look like this id have played... a video game. like, i want it to look like a real place even if it’s heavily stylized. uh but the first showdown where batman is luring a parademon out looks beautiful if fake as shit. the scene with wondy in the bank (which features a group of girls from an all-girls school... at a bank?) and terrorists wearing cheap pinstripe suits (like, this is fine! it’s nonsensical and stupid but fine it’s a comic book movie) was kind of cool because for once i felt like... maybe diana was a creative person who goes in wit ha strategy? like picking the dude up with the lasso and holding him up was fun i was like oh!!! thats not something a typical movie would do! it was the first time she felt like Wonder Woman to me (ive seen the wondy movie itself, it was... eh). uh and idk what was up with the standing on the scales of justice or whatever idk the hilarity of gal gadot on that statue which sits on top of a bank like. it was funny.

hey question what the uh... fuck was the “what are you” “a believer” line about it made zero sense in context at all

dont quote me on the order of scenes i dont remember fuck all of this movie in order because literally, the pacing was so weird. so... it was very obvious there were parts missing from the movie. not like, cuts made where you could be like oh there was something there or maybe there'll be a deleted scene no like you Knew there was stuff that was necessary that was gone. the football scenes with victor from the trailers were gone!!! i think the movie was trying to set up a really strong friendship with wonder woman and cyborg but it never really went anywhere? and i suspect because it all got cut! and i dont understand why because ray did a really good job and he sold cyborg to me so well i loved his take! 

also... i dont know if theyre saving it for the aquaman movie next year but did Arthur get a bunch of his stuff cut too? because i like jason momoa, and i like his arthur and so im sort of torn because, like, he didnt have much to do. like, he has the bit where he sits on wonder woman’s lasso of thruth and tells them all this stuff but you dont know enough about him for any of it to land? but i really wanted to know more (at some point i did give up on, this was a very passive viewing experience). my friend was saying that like literally why did they try to make arthur so Cool he’s already jason momoa he is by default cool now you can do whatever you want with him we’re all going to love him.

speaking of the lasso scene... was the entire last half of the movie re-writen and re-shot by whedon because like? the lasso scene is a whedon. the bit at the end where wondy goes “children. i work with children” is a whedon (THERE’S NO REASON FOR HER TO SAY THIS? I THINK THIS WHEN SHE HAS TWO TEAM MEMBERS LIKE LAYING ON THE GROUND AFTER NEARLY BEING BLON UP? IT WAS FUCKING WEIRD). i genuinely cant tell if all of barry’s dialogue was written by whedon or if that was ezra improvising but uh... man he’s... he needs to practice if that’s hm. if it’s just whedon i mean fine but he also doesnt have the shitty RDJ quality thats let’s him say those lines with believability.

speaking of which, going to see barry was my priority because apparently im gay for miller rn so like. uh. man he wasnt funny like there were a couple parts where he was cute and the line landed and it was fine but generally he just... wasnt funny? because the movie wasnt funny? like... idk man ezra really acting his heart out and ive said like cool i wanna follow his career and see if he does good stuff and gets even better at his stupid art but maybe he peaked with credence barebone i dont know. the first scene where we meet barry, with the flash pad and the pizza, that was good, that was funny. the bit at the prison was good. he has very soft eyes and thats nice. the panic attack is cute in the clip and the beginning like rhrgrh moment he has is good but then idk the pacing falls apart again

why is his character like this? i just dont think ezra’s... funny enough yet. (tbh i think he takes it too seriously even if he’s trying to be light-hearted man sometimes jokes is just jokes). there’s a bit where theyre digging up superman’s body and it’s JUST HIM AND CYBORG FOR UH? SOME REASON? maybe they explained why they sent the two babies but i didnt hear it and it’s literally just them two. and he tries to fistbump victor but vic is like “no” and tbh barry is annoying? like maybe u think he’s cute and an audience member but he’s uh... you can tell he’s annoying in the story and anyway then the flash says “right, racially charged” ABOUT A FISTBUMP? WHICH? LITERALLY MADE NO SENSE? WAS THIS LINE IMPROVISED? WAS IT WRITTEN? IM GONNA PUT MONEY ON IMPROVISED BECAUSE HE IS EXACTLY THAT KIND OF STUPID BITCH

if they were breaking into the lab why even bother going through the front door? barry drives the thing in (theyre trying to smuggle superman’s body into star labs) disguised a soldier (the literally most unconvincing thing, not to me as an audience member, because it was cute and funny to me,, but that a guy with THAT FACE is military like yeah sure, why did that guard believe him) but then they get to like the normal ass parking inside and the other three are standing there in full costume in full grey DC-brand daylight? are you telling me between 5/6ths of the justice league they couldnt sneak in a fucking pine box when wonder woman can lift a fucking tank on her own? like.

speaking of which uh.... superman is stupidly overpowered. like i said i read an issue of JL where mera hands every one of the justice league members their own gently roasted ass in hand on her fucking own. diana regularly kicks superman in the head. why was she not able to take him down? when theyre fighting steppenwolf for real it’s not until superman shows up that they even have a real fighting chance. they dont fight as team, they dont even fight as people casually unified in a common cause. theyre playing high-stakes legos and cyborg gets pulled away from them like three times?? and it gets fucking annoying? and then supes shows up and literally wipes the floor with him. it is so completely bizarre and stupid.

here’s a problem i still have with wonder woman: why is she so thin? the other amazons (except Hippolyta and maybe one other one) look built as FUCK? LIKE THESE WOMEN COULD EASILY TOSS ME ACROSS THE ROOM. wonder woman has serious fucking arms, where are they

also those amazon bikinis were bad. the whole styling of this movie is bad, but especially the amazons. everything is red and gold, for some reasons? the outfits dont looks heavy like armor, they look heavy like bullshit material. there is no reason for the fucking bikinis. the gold cloak hippolyta wears is??? heavy and looks like? like drapes like window dressing like thats the weight of it. additionally, there is no reason for their hair to be SO STYLED. it’s really like prom night hair it’s like shiny and muss free and always loose and in perfect clearly salon-styled curls. also, why are they so heavily made up? it’s really prominent. wondy herself has the same issue going on, she looks much more heavily made up (why is everyone’s blush so PINK, like it's distracting, is this a side effect of the recoloring process) and her hair isnt loose and doing its thing like in BVS or Wonder Woman it’s like... idk she looks really. Pretty when she’s on the field and it makes no sense.

the amazon fighting style is still ugly and makes no sense ive never seen such a wasteful fighting style it made sense exactly once during Wonder Woman

why is themyscira entirely the ugliest cgi i have ever fucking scene

why does the camera INSIST ON MOVING LIKE THAT. the action is super hard to track, the cgi is ugly as fuck (it really cannot be overstated)... i made it to about... i want to say when theyre on the way to the big fight and then the combined everything gave me a heaache that o had for the rest of the movie

i mentioned earlier that the pacing is weird the transitions are also weird. you get cuts to and from places that never fade into each other, it’s always a hard jump cut but it’s never the right cut to make? like, in thor ragnarok for example, there are a bunch of scene changes that happen via the bifrost, via people going through doors. there are wide shots that jump to wide shots in other places, so youre not suddenly on a close-up. there are a lot of people emerging from something into view, and there are a lof of people being alone in the center of the frame. it’s a very smooth and easy to watch movie. JL is the opposite of this in every way. I SUSPECT. AGAIN. THAT WHILE THIS WOULDNT HAVE BEEN FIXED ENTIRELY. THAT THOSE EXTRA TWENTY MINUTES THAT WERE CUT WERE PROBABLY REALLY IMPORTANT

the lois lane bit where she calms supes down just reminded me of the age of ultron and i quoted “sun’s going down” at my friends who were with me and they shit themselves laughing

ma kent calls lois lane “thirsty” in a Hilarious Teen Humor Gag thanks joss whedon you fucking hack

bruce wayne is fucking useless he could have got barry ANY JOB EVER and like... my god whatever.

also i still dont understand how how voice sounds like that when he’s batmanuh the after after credits scene is setting up, according to my friend, a sinister six movie. deathstroke isnt played by manu bennett so it’s fucking usless thanks for coming to my ted talk

[many-miscellaneous-musings]

FP Jones x Reader- Figure it out

Thank you anon for the request! As I stated before everyone in this fic is legal age, and the reader will be older than Jug. I also made it so FP was young when he had Jug, but there was still a large gap.

Anyway I am so so sorry this was late. Aaaaah I hate that this was so late. I hope I wrote it to your standards and you like it ^^ If not please let me know and I will try to fix it. Also thank you so, so much for the well wishes you sweetheart <3 Hope you are doing well anon!

I don’t know yet if I will continue to allow age differences like this in my writing as I wasn’t too keen on writing it. I wasn’t a big fan but I did want to get this one written, as I said I would

Warnings: Age difference, swearing, implied smut

Words: 2160

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When you graduated university you never expected to have to move to a small town in the middle of nowhere. You didn’t expect to be stuck into a waitressing job at Pop’s, losing your way a little bit. Things had been good for a few years after you graduated, a few years of being on the up and up in a company you loved, came crashing down around you and you were forced to find somewhere close by, somewhere small and cheap that you could live and hold over. Riverdale worked and you never expected to stay long, never expected to live paycheck to paycheck, never expected to be stuck in a life like this.

You also never expected to become quick friends with the guy at the back of the restaurant, nor expected how he would change your life completely. Or not him, but sort of him.

Jughead was younger than you, by a few years. He had graduated highschool, a few years after you had graduated university. Some thought it was odd for the two of you to become friends, but there was no denying it. You two simply clicked and got along. Neither of you cared about the age gap, until you met his dad.

There was a different kind of connection the instant the two of you made eye contact. You were meeting Jughead for movie night, and he was still living with his dad. FP Jones wasn’t supposed to be there, but you had to admit, you weren’t complaining. The man was gorgeous, and the way he looked at you made you blush. There was something there that neither of you could explain, but that both of you tried to shove away.

But as you spent more and more time at the Jones’s residence, the more you saw him. You found yourself falling into easy conversation with the older man, speaking to him about your dreams and hobbies, and him about his life. The tension never left, simply grew stronger and stronger, but neither of you could back away from the other, both of you were hooked.

But you both refused to be. It seemed wrong, the way you were falling for your best friend’s father. The way he seemed to be falling as well. It didn’t matter how easy the conversations were, how much you both felt it was right, no matter how easy it was to talk to the other. No matter what, you both needed to stay away.

But then it happened. You were the one to make the first move. Jughead was in another town, working hard to get the book published. He was trying so hard, and you knew he would be gone for a few days. You went to his place, knocking on the door timidly and he opened it, deep confusion on his face.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing here?” He asked you through a yawn and you let your gaze wander over his sleepy, scruffy face before you walked in, kissing him deeply. A kiss that made him freeze in place, a kiss that held him locked to you. A kiss that he reciprocated after minimal hesitation.

It was the best weekend you had spent anywhere.

When Jug came back you and FP continued to keep the relationship a secret. You were terrified of telling Jug about it, terrified of losing the one friend you had made in the small town, and terrified of losing FP, the man you had come to love.

The two of you felt guilt within you at keeping it a secret from Jug, but you always knew FP felt more so about it. The way he would instantly shut anything down when his son was in the room, the way he shut you down the second you tried talking to him about telling him. You wanted to tell your friend, you knew the relationship between you and FP was putting a strain on you and Jug, and you hated it. You wanted to tell him, rip off the bandaid so to speak.

What you didn’t expect was what happened instead. The date had started normal, you and FP had been watching movies for the night while Jughead was at Archie’s. The moment you had stepped into the place you knew something was different. You knew that there was a frostiness in the air, and a tension you had never felt before.

When he paused the movie you looked at him expectantly, awaiting an explanation. The one he gave you made your breath hitch and made you feel like you were suffocating as your vision blurred with tears.

“We need to stop this,” he had said simply and you shook your head defiantly.

“Why?” You asked simply.

“Im too old for you,” he said and you glared, standing up and crossing your arms in front of him, a snort sounding as you stared him down.

“What? Youre too old for me now that you’ve used me? You got a good fuck a few times and now youre done? What? I was just a whore for you?” You asked and could see the wince on his face as his eyes turned to steel. You could feel your heart shattering the more either of you spoke, the idea of just being a toy setting into your brain. You had fallen for the man before you, you knew that, and

“I was always too old for you. You’re friends with my son for christs sake, I should have never let it get this far,” he argued. You rolled your eyes, trying to allow your anger to overtake the way you wanted to break down.

“So what? I’m older than he is. 7 years older to be exact but that doesn’t seem to make you want me to stop being friends with him?”

“That’s different (Y/N) and you know it.”

“No. Youre just scared of telling him!”

“You need to go. This needs to stop. And don’t you dare tell him anything,” he said before leading you to the door and watching as you left, going straight home.

The only contact you had with either Jones men was to text Jughead back, saying you needed time and space. You were sick and needed to be alone. He claimed to understand, and you didn’t even bother to think he was worried about you. You needed to be away from both of the men in that family, needed to time to get over the second, so you could face the third. You hated yourself for it, hated to admit that FP Jones the Second had broken your heart the way he had, but it was true.

It took almost a month for you to agree to meet Jughead. You hated that it took so long, that FP had broken your heart and cracked your spirit, but you were working on fixing it. You needed your friend back, you had ached to see him again, no matter how much your brain tried to tell you it was a bad idea. With a shower, application of whatever makeup you needed to hide the bags beneath your eyes, clean clothes and something to do in case Jug got stuck in his laptop again, you were off. You had high hopes for the night, high hopes that would not be dashed. You refused to let yourself be broken any longer. You needed to fix yourself, and fix the important things.  

Jughead of course, was awkward when you saw him again. But the awkwardness between the two of you didn’t last long as the friendship clicked back into place with ease. The night went well with you asking about the book, the two of you stealing each other’s food, and just generally having a good time. Things were good, for about 2 weeks. Until the second came back into your life.

You were with Jug again, same booth as usual, and had had a normal night between the two of you. It was when you were walking home that things got weird.

You had told Jug to go on to his place without you, that you would be fine to walk alone to your own place that was only a block from Pop’s. But as soon as Jug was out of sight your arm was grabbed and you were pinned to the wall of Pop’s, fists clenched as you went to fight back. Until the familiar scent of the one who had hurt you filled your nose, and everything him overwhelmed your senses. He pulled you to him, pressing his lips hard and possessively against yours. It was passionate and lit every fibre of your being on fire. You had craved this kiss since you had lost it, and you never wanted it to end. But you had more self control than that.

You were tempted to lean into his touch but you refused, throwing his hands off of you and pulling away from his lips.

“What were you doing with him? You and him a couple now?” FP asked, seething with anger.

“Why would you give a shit? Youre too old for me, and apparently I aint too old for him, you said so yourself,” you spat back, able to see the fire in FP’s eyes as you did.

“Because treating my boy like a rebound isnt exactly what I had in mind (Y/N),” he growled and you rolled your eyes.

“I’m not with him, you may think I’m a whore, but no, I’m really not,” you said, attempting to step around him. He simply grabbed you, and pinned you again, this time gentler.

“I want to apologize,” he said. You let out a bitter laugh, again throwing his hands off of you, even though you ached to bring your lips to his again and forgive him. You were stronger than that.

“So what? Cant get laid anywhere else?” You asked. He sighed and looked at you.

“I broke it off with you because I was scared ok? Because you’re young and youthful, you’re 13 years younger than me, you shouldn’t be saddled with me. And I knew you were friends with my son and I didn’t want to risk him, and you at the same time,” he said. Your shoulder slumped as you dropped the offensive pose, continuing to glare as you moved your arms to hug yourself.

“That isnt your place to decide FP. You don’t get to decide if I’m saddled with you or not. I meant what I said. I love you. I want to be with you. You broke my heart and I am not just going to let you back in so you can run when youre scared. I’m not going to let you back in so we can continue to keep this a secret from my best friend, and your son,” you said, eyes hard as you spoke.

“I will do whatever you want, I just, I missed you so much (Y/N), and not because of what you think. I let you think that crap so that you would stay gone, but I have missed you, so much,” he whispered, a vulnerability in his eyes.

“I don’t care FP, you gotta prove it to me,” you said, shaking your head, “I am not going to just let you take me again. I’ve missed you too, so bad, you broke my heart,” you repeated and he nodded.

“I’ll make it up to you, please, just give me another chance, we will figure everything out if you will,” he said and you sighed, defeated as you kissed him, putting your hands to his face. The kiss was more passionate than the last and it filled you with need, a need you knew you would ignore until he truly did prove what he said. As he pulled away, the two of you panting and looking into each other’s eyes, only four words broke the silence.

“I love you too.”

[overdrivels]

Yay requests are open again! Could I request some Reader76 where Jack and reader were together before the fall and after all the shit goes down reader thinks Jack is dead and when the recall happens they meet again except reader doesnt recognize him as 76 and reader is all like "wow this 76 guy is such an ass i cant stand him who does he think he is!" and they constatly butt heads and general sassyness shananigans :3

Ravages of Time

“I can see you haven’t been sleeping, Jack.”

Soldier: 76 stiffens. He swears Ana’s skill as a sniper granted her the ability to see through steel itself. As though she could read his thoughts, she chuckles heartily.

“I can see it in your shoulders, you can’t fool this old eye.”

She takes her place beside him by the guardrails overlooking the sea on the Watchpoint. The sun is fast fading, heralding the end of a hectic day and the beginnings of another restless night.

Soldier: 76 sighs. “It shouldn’t have been like this,” he rasps, clearly pained.

Ana hums contemplatively, willing him to continue. The chilly breeze tousles their hair and its whistle fills the silence between them. Soldier: 76 takes in a breath, steeling himself for a story he isn’t sure he is ready to tell.

The man leans against the railing. “It was my fault. I tried to interfere where I wasn’t wanted.”

Ana nods sagely. “I heard. You took your habibi off the next three missions.”

He sighs again. She could tell he was exhausted, both physically and mentally. “Ex-, Ana. We’re not together anymore.”

She scoffs, humored by the thought. “I do not recall you two breaking up.”

“Then you didn’t hear the conversation.”

It was a scant few hours ago when he heard that you had been assigned to several critical risk missions. The level of danger was high, and the chances of death even higher.

He didn’t even know you were alive until two weeks ago when Winston introduced you to the team. He thought he was finally going to die from a heart attack, seeing you alive and well–he could have sworn you perished in Switzerland. Not a day passed where the patronizing question of ‘what if’ didn’t surface in his mind.

He could still remember the conversation clearly that led to your almost-demise.

“Can we talk?”

You cocked your head to the side, a sign he had your undivided attention. Under your scrutiny, he suddenly felt foolish for even opening his mouth. But he trusted you, and that’s why he forced himself to continue. He slapped the back of his neck, rubbing carefully like he does when he’s nervous.

“Switzerland. I need you to come with me. For…” He gritted his teeth. “For…support. I can’t do this alone anymore. Would you come with me?”

There was a moment of silence where he feared you’d laugh and tell him to stop being silly, that he can do it by himself. But to his immense relief, your eyes softened and you cupped his cheek so gently. Your hand was warm and he couldn’t help but lean into it, holding your gaze steady. “What sort of asshole would I be if I said ‘no’, Commander?”

You slapped him in the shoulder encouragingly, the mild sting it brings was a fierce reminder of your strength–strength he could always count on. “Come on already, let’s get your shit patched up with Gabe already. You’ve both waited long enough.”

You would’ve been an asshole, but an alive asshole. Not that you weren’t now, but he couldn’t have known that. There should have been no survivors. But he survived. Gabriel–Reaper–survived. Wishful thinking had made him hope that you did, too, but you were no super soldier like the two of them. So he didn’t hold his breath–he just held the doors to his heart closed just so he could even sleep at night.

But seeing you those two weeks ago made the pain return full force, almost knocking him to his knees. The doors to his heart slamming open with such intensity, he feared he may never close them again. You were different, more grey in your hair than he remembered, more intense and curt, but it was still you. Time was decidedly unkind to you.

He never knew the full effects of the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” until now. You didn’t recognize him–how could you, he was a different man–but he knew it was you right away even beneath the mask you wore, and his heart ached fiercely, his blood singing in his veins, for something it was denied for so long.

But he couldn’t reveal himself–it wouldn’t be fair, he told himself. He could see the way Ana looked at him and how Winston seemed eager for something to happen. There was Jesse, who definitely gave him a side-eyed glance, and there was an awkwardness that surrounded you both when you shook hands whereas you’d tackle him with a warm hug in the past.

It only made him irritated. At himself, mostly. The obvious attention everyone else was giving him didn’t help either.

It was even worse when you declared icily during your introduction, “I’m just here to finish what Jack started.”

It was all his fault, he supposed, and he resolved the fix that. What he wouldn’t give to rewind time just so he could find you again right after the blast–even before it and tell you that he was mistaken, he doesn’t need any support, he can handle these discussions alone and spare you a life of pain. A pang of guilt would strike him with dizzying force whenever he notices something about the way you’ve aged: the small limp in your step that you do your best to hide (he can hear the unevenness); the shaking of your hand when it was free; the small box of tools you kept on your person that looked like it’s been very well used.

But unless he managed to convince Tracer to do some interference, all he could do now was to make sure that this time you didn’t die on his watch and to keep his distance. He owed you that much. It was unfortunate that you didn’t see it that way especially after you found out how he went about ensuring your safety.

“Agent 76,″ you called out. He did not budge when you stomped toward him and put yourself in his face–under previous circumstances, he would’ve been inclined to lean in closer, but now, that would be far from appropriate. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“What do you mean?”

He could tell you knew he was feigning innocence, and you weren’t buying it. You crossed your arms over your chest, regarding him shrewdly behind the mask. “Listen. Just because I just answered the recall doesn’t give you a right to remove me from those missions.”

Ah. You found out much faster than he thought you would (he should’ve remembered not to underestimate your thoroughness from experience), but the fact that you haven’t yet started kicking his ass yet meant that you were going to give him a chance to explain himself.

Like hell he will.

“Those missions were wrongfully assigned to you. You weren’t ready for them.” He almost winced at the boldness of his own lie.

Slowly, like a mother leading a child, you spoke carefully, “Agent 76, I am not a child. I am old enough to retire. Just because you possess more grey than me doesn’t mean that you have the right to control me. Do you understand me?”

“I’m not trying to control you–”

“Then what do you call vetoing the missions that I was assigned to and accepted?” you whispered.

A pang of guilt made him want to shrink, but he held fast. “According to your profile, you haven’t been on the field in too long. You need to work your way up.”

You barked a laugh. Shit, that laugh made his back prickle–you were annoyed. “Excuse you, old man! I’m not spring chicken, but I was former Overwatch–not even the Strike Commander himself could beat my ass without going full strength.” You smacked the back of your hand against his chest. “What the fuck would you even know about missions being for me or not?”

Damn, he forgot how strong your strikes were.

‘It’s all in the wrist,’ you’d used to say as you playfully backhanded his shoulder to demonstrate. Even with his SEP enhancements and accelerated healing, it still left a mark.

You whipped a finger to his face in warning.

“You may have answered Recall faster than me, but that doesn’t mean that it makes you the fucking boss of me. Got that, soldier boy?”

God, you didn’t have to tell him that–of course he knew, he knew better than anyone else just how strong you were even in the face of adversity. But at the same time, it’s because he knew you that he had to do this.

You may think you hide it well, but he doesn’t miss the way your arm seizes right after the gun recoils during the demonstration you give them to prove that you’ve still got what it takes to be Overwatch; he isn’t able to see through your mask, but he had been with you long enough to know you were in pain even after you take a victory pose among a heap of broken training bots. It was an impressive sight made no less so by Solider: 76′s knowledge of your pain.

“Speak for yourself,” he rebutted. It may not have been the right thing to say, but he was just looking out for your well-being. “I am in charge of team compositions. If I don’t think you should be on a mission, you’re out. It’s for your own good.”

He can tell your face has twisted up into a deep scowl that he desperately wishes he could see so that he can kiss it away, but balls his hands into fists to stop.

Finally, you spat out, “You’re a real piece of work, you know that?”

He knows. “When you prove yourself, then we’ll reconsider it.”

“You guys don’t have enough people to be picky about this, 76.”

Yes, that’s another thing he knows, but knowing that, he still needed to protect you. “Prove yourself first, then we’ll talk.”

Your shoulders pulled back, and your whole stance stiffened. Mentally, he braced himself for a blow or another harmless (but painful) slap to the chest. But you didn’t. Instead, you growled, annoyed.

“Fine. Fine.” You threw up your hands. “You don’t want another asset on your team, fine. Have it your way, Commander. Go fuck yourself.”

It was unbelievable how much it stung to hear you say his title so sarcastically when he was used to it being used as a term of endearment. Before he could even recover from the stinging verbal blow, you were gone, uneven steps now more obvious than ever echoing in the hall.

He had let you go. Foolishly. 

“So you’re going to leave it like that, Jack?” Ana asks softly. 

Soldier: 76 let out a heavy sigh, shoulders sagging. He almost didn’t have the strength to lift his head and just let it hang pathetically. He never did like fighting with you. And knowing that it was his fault that you were even doing this only made him feel worse.

“I don’t know, Ana. I was…”

The words die in his mouth, leaving an imaginary bitterness he could almost taste. He was what? Foolish? Just trying to protect you? He didn’t know. The sun has long gone down, leaving the two old soldiers in the cold and misery of Jack’s memories.

Ana gives him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. “No matter how long it’s been, not everything is lost, Jack. Go, it’s not too late.”

He has almost half a mind to refute that because it’s been a decade and he’s hurt you much more than he could ever make up for, but the look she gives him is solemn and sympathetic. He’s suddenly reminded of the explosive argument she had with Fareeha after their first meeting in over a decade, and the cookies that the two shared just last week, and he is forced to reconsider.

It really might not be too late, but he doesn’t know if he has the strength to tell you the truth. Not when you were his strength all along.

This was a little rushed, but I just–OW. That prompt hurt. I couldn’t help but keep going on and on. 

[a-panda-reads-act-omega]

ACT OMEGA PART 17

THE 04/02/17 UPDATE

Welcome to the... sixth update today? I hope this isn’t getting excessive. It probably is. OH WELL, i dont care. lets just hurry this up and GET ON WITH THIS SINGLE PAGE.

80%, huurrry up. I just realized, these updates are a LONG while apart, so this download probably is meant to represent how LONG they’d have to wait. There’s a flash for the 100th page, so im gonna assume thats what was eating up their time.

PLugging something in. Also, I just wanna mention how perfect Rose’s sassy pose is. John’s explaining more shit with Karkat, and DAD’s watching over appropriately.

Oh. Kanaya looks upset about something (could it be how rose was totally checkin jade out). Dirk looks confused, or just kinda like everybody’s missing something he thinks is obvious. Jade seems content. Jake is looking kinda insecure. Terezi still seems bothered by Vriska’s absense. Roxy and Calliope are smiling next to Dave’s neutral self. and OH. Looks like Hal plugged in the audio, because now we get to see a pesterlog!

or... bunnylog

JOHN: are we all good? JOHN: is that everything? DIRK: I really fucking hope so. JADE: yes, john JADE: thats everything

GOOD NOW GO GO GO!!!

JOHN: so i can finally, FINALLY open the stupid door? ROSE: Yes, again, John. The stupid door is yours for the opening. JOHN: anyone have any issues with the plan? TEREZI: W3 JUST T4LK3D 4BOUT 1T PR3TTY 3XT3NS1V3LY TEREZI: 1F SO TH3N TEREZI: TOUGH SH1T, 1 S4Y JOHN: so we're even good on all the weird ectobiology stuff?? KANAYA: I Reserve The Right To Alter My Stance On That At Any Time KANAYA: Though Not Necessarily Right Now

Hmm.. did Kanaya not want to use ectobiology for baby stuff? Or maybe she finds the mixing genes thing to be odd. Maybe she wanted to make baby’s the old fashioned way with rose ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

lenny looks weird on tumblr.

KARKAT: EXCUSE ME, *I* RESERVE THAT SAME RIGHT. KARKAT: BECAUSE APPARENTLY I’VE BEEN IMPLICATED IN THAT MESS SOMEHOW? KANAYA: Yes Precisely JOHN: that’s fine, i guess? JOHN: we have everything we need for that no matter what you decide, anyway. JOHN: earth is all de-flooded for sure, right jade? JADE: yeah! like i said before, i can even see my island back above sea level! JADE: or, rather, jakes island JAKE: Youre welcome to share it with me. JAKE: If you want. JAKE: Though i presume its somewhat different from the version you grew up on... JADE: aw! thanks, jake JADE: well see JADE: i definitely want to at least see the changes up close!

That could be awkward though! Jake doesn’t seem to be a people person, annnd... Well, Jade only just met him. Would it really be that great to live with somebody you’ve only just met? even if he is your grandpa. I just realized, the person Jake got along with the best was Tavros. And in another universe... Tavros fucking murdered Jake. Irony.

DAVE: i cant believe that reverse noahs ark scheme worked DAVE: well actually i can DAVE: this game would be in need of some serious balancing if it wasnt permissible by virtue of kicking so much ass DAVE: i mean think about it DAVE: were like DAVE: actually gods DAVE: and we just congregated on this circular platform and discussed how wed shape an entire civilization DAVE: except instead of taking six days we all had a quick thirty minute powwow and decided yeah this is probably good enough lets skip to the sabbath already DAVE: so maybe more like zeus and his pantheon on mt olympus or whatever

Dave dont get a god complex. thats all i have to say.

ROXY: lol ROXY: weve still got a long way to go before were all like ROXY: greco-roman levels of omnipodouche ROXY: though i bet that jade n i could def construct a marble palace 4 u john ROXY: on top of some ridiculously tall mountain ROXY: from which u can rule the skies and shoot lightning bolts from ur fingertips at pesky disobedient ectobabies

Yes, Jade and her need to build it together (I need some version of Jade Lalonde to come true dammit im sorry.)

JOHN: that sounds cool and all, but... JOHN: even if i could smite people, i don’t think i would! JOHN: i’d rather just get inside people’s heads and talk shit. JOHN: mwahahaha.

Ok yep youre adorable John, but now IM REALIZING YOU STILL HAVENT GONE THROUGH THE DOOR HURRY U P.

JADE: how diabolical! JADE: no palace for you, then JOHN: damn. JOHN: how about a dungeon? JADE: maaaaaybe :P CALLIOPE: oh! i think i know what stories yoU’re referring to! CALLIOPE: it does seem apropos, doesn’t it. CALLIOPE: does this mean that i have a place among the rest of yoU at the oUtset of this odyssey? ROXY: ofc it does! ROXY: ur like ROXY: an integral part! JANE: You know what? Callie, do you still have the book we were writing in earlier? CALLIOPE: Um. i think so. JANE: I think it would be perfect if you were our official scribe! JANE: You could keep record of everything so these important moments are preserved for future generations. CALLIOPE: !!! :U CALLIOPE: i woUld love that! ROSE: I did something somewhat similar over the course of the last three years. ROSE: It’s fairly therapeutic. CALLIOPE: oh? CALLIOPE: i might be a bit more aware of what yoU’re referring to than yoU know. ~_u CALLIOPE: therapUtic is right. ROSE: ... ROSE: If I’m understanding you correctly. ROSE: You and I are going to need to chat. ROSE: Specifically about private things that are best left out of the clutches of the impressionable coming ages. ROSE: Or, better yet, forgotten altogether. KANAYA: (I Disagree) ROSE: (Kanaya!) KANAYA: (Heh)

UGhh, you guys need to stop being cUTE AND OPEN THE DOOR.

IM sorry, how can I not get anxious when theres a fucking flash coming up, and everybody’s acting all happy.. .

CALLIOPE: of coUrse! CALLIOPE: thoUgh... no promises! CALLIOPE: i can hardly wait to get started on all this! DIRK: Yeah. I for one, would love to see myself in a history book. DIRK: Nothing better to stroke your own ego. DIRK: But in order for any of that to happen. DIRK: We should probably, you know. DIRK: Get on with it.

Thank you Dirk, listen to him he knows what’s up. This game is nothing but disaster after disaster, but most disasters come when everybodys being STUPID. so use your brains and open the door before somehow you all die due to a session in your new universe having such a powerful prototype ring that their queen and/or jack manages to get to your session and fuck you all up.

JOHN: oh. JOHN: yeah, you’re right. JOHN: damn it, we got side tracked again! TEREZI: W3LL 1F YOU DONT W4NT 1T TO H4PP3N 4G41N TEREZI: M4YB3 YOU SHOULD JUST OP3N TH3 STUP1D DOOR 4LR34DY! KARKAT: AND DO IT QUICKLY. NO DRAWING IT OUT! JOHN: okay, i’m opening it! JOHN: the moment we’ve all been waiting for-- KARKAT: WHAT DID I *JUST* SAY? JOHN: hehe! sorry, couldn’t resist. JOHN: for real this time. JOHN: here goes!

Here, FUCKIN GOES!

ughh theyre all gonna die... I guess we’ll see on the next update, so STAY TUNED FOLKS