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the-seas-song · 3 years

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Richard Armitage and Astrology

Hi! I find astrology fascinating, and am an armchair expert on it myself, so I found Richard's comments in his recent Total Film Magazine interview very interesting. This is what he said:

I’ve been incredibly lucky. I’ve dabbled with having my celestial chart looked at every couple of years, just for a little tune-up. Every time, the guy sighs, and goes, “What can I say? You’ve just got a sprinkle of luck.” And I say, “That’s good, because I don’t have the talent, so I really need the luck!”

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There is a naughty, dark side to me. I am quite strongly affected by the moon. So if there’s a full moon I’ll go a bit crazy. (source)

This isn't the first time Richard's mentioned astrology – he's mentioned being a Leo, reading his daily horoscope, and finding out he was born in the Chinese Year of the Pig; but these were all informal twitter comments. He has also mentioned the effect the moon has on him before, in February 2020:

“Everyone has cycles of positive mental and emotional feelings and negative mental and emotional feelings and I know that I am profoundly affected on a monthly cycle. I always look at the calendar when I'm feeling particularly low and check the lunar cycle to see if it's a full or new moon.” (source)

However, what prompted me to write this is that Richard's personal put-downs were even more direct here than usual; and the connection that has to his natal, or birth, chart.

A little disclaimer: Personally, I think general horoscopes (like the ones you find in magazines) do far more harm than good. They are based solely on the twelve sun signs, and your sun sign is just one puzzle piece out of 25+ pieces that make up your natal chart. This is why many people don't relate to their horoscope or it's personality description.

Your natal chart, however, is a whole different animal. It's an intricate puzzle created by the exact date, time, and location you were born; which is why most people find their natal charts to be scarily accurate.

Back during the Hobbit days, a fan blog reported that Richard told a NZ fan that his birth time was just after 4 a.m. I used 4:05 for this post, and being off by a few minutes doesn't really make a difference.

Richard and self-esteem

I really feel for and relate to Richard's self-esteem struggles, because our charts mirror each other. We are both Leo suns; but I have my moon in Aries with my MC and Chiron conjunct each other in Virgo and sextile my North Node; while Richard has his moon in Virgo with his MC and Chiron conjunct each other in Aries and sextile his North Node.

What on earth does that mean?

Each planet represents a different part of you. The sun represents your ego/conscious self; the moon your emotions, mercury your mind/intellect, venus love and beauty/aesthetics, mars passion and drive, etc.

On top of the twelve planets, there are specific points and asteroids that are also important. Your MC, or Midheaven, represents your career and public persona. Your North Node describes your inner journey and life purpose. The asteroid Chiron describes your major soul wound, that you will be forced to deal with throughout your life.

A conjunction and a sextile are two of several different kinds of aspects. The different kinds of aspects are the different ways your respective puzzle pieces can interact with each other. Some are 'easy/positive' and some 'difficult/negative'. A sextile is considered easy/positive. A conjunction means two things are next to each other and overlap with one another, and is usually considered positive.

Leo and Aries are both fire signs. Fire signs are generally playful, warm, passionate, confident, and optimistic. Virgo is an earth sign. Earth signs are generally practical, grounded, sensual, and logical.

Richard's personality is dominated by an almost equal amount of Leo and Virgo influence, with both his sun (core self) and venus (love and beauty) in Leo and his moon (emotions) and mercury (mind) in Virgo.

Aries and Virgo are said to be the most difficult Chiron signs, because they are the wounds tied directly to your self-worth (Aries is the wound of Self and Virgo is the wound of Perfection). With Aries Chiron you feel a core sense of worthlessness, like you're missing a fundamental piece of your core self. This deeply felt lack of self-worth leads people to be people pleasers and have issues with confrontation and conflict.

Aries rules the planet mars. It is the warrior planet of passion, drive, and combat. A conventional Aries is confident, outgoing, impulsive, and strong willed. Aries and mars are definitely the rowdiest sign and planet in the zodiac. However, with Chiron here the traits are inverted, and so someone like Richard is much more likely to be scared of his inner passion, confidence, and willpower – depending, of course, on what the rest of his chart is like.

That leads us to Virgo. Chiron Virgo feels impure, like there is something fundamentally wrong with them. This kind of low self-esteem makes you feel like you have to constantly try to 'fix' yourself so people will love and accept you. It's an OCD type of perfectionism that only ends in failure and heartbreak.

A good example of how this works is when I talked to my therapist recently. I hadn't quite succeeded in meeting my goals, and so my automatic response was to condemn myself for failing. My therapists immediate response was to congratulate me on how much progress I had made.

Ironically, unlike with Aries, this isn't an inversion of the conventional Virgo. Conventional Virgo is meticulous, detail-oriented, focused, patient, efficient, practical, perfectionistic, systematic, and pessimistic with high expectations. If Aries is the official warrior of the zodiac, Virgo is the official nit-picker.

This means that Richard's subconscious intellectually (mercury) and emotionally (moon) expects and demands perfection, whilst simultaneously feeling fundamentally worthless. In short: ouch.

Interestingly, a significant number of celebrities have their Chiron conjunct their MC. Personally, I think Richard hit the nail on the head as to why in his essay on the Human Condition for Cybersmile:

The answer in my humble opinion, (and believe me it is humble, to a point of taking 43 years to be shared) is actually something which applies to my work as an actor. It’s why sometimes actors are called in to work with therapists, in large corporations, in schools. It’s why drama therapy is fantastic to understand what we do, how we do it and what the outcome might be, and in an improvisation where we aren’t playing ourselves sometimes we explore avenues that are too frightening or unacceptable in our own lives.

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So going back to my very first point, the “social media society” in which we’d all like to feel safe, supported, excited, creative, spontaneous, innovative, courageous, is really in our own hands. And back to acting, it’s taken me a long time to shake off the effects of bullying in school. That people were always laughing behind my back. I was always looking out of the corner of my eye. I now have incredible peripheral vision which is so useful, (as is Kinesthetic sense…Google it) but try being a brave, experimental, uninhibited actor with all of those hang ups. Wasn’t happening.

So here is the thing, and it’s key to my work and I think ours as a community. When we speak or write, we ultimately desire to ‘affect’. If we aren’t watching the destination of that affect, then how do we know our words have landed and the ‘effect’ they have caused?

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If I have a strong opinion about something which I want to express I really task myself with backing it up with the ‘why do I feel that?’

Again it’s part of my work building a believable character, and actually part of building a believable ‘me’ outside of my work. Just.. “because that’s what I feel” is a bit of a cop out.

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As for Bullying, it’s like the moment the pot boils over, or it’s the poisoned stream that can’t be cleansed, so why bother. Well I think that’s what art is for. It’s can support the best and the worst of ourselves. We can ‘attack’ a canvas with black angry paint, we can ‘savage’ a piano keyboard, we can dance until we drop, we can read about a Puritan society who executed elders, we can explore the psychology of a serial killer, and when we can’t do this ourselves we can experience it, and witness it through others.

It’s more than being nice. Edward Munch’s “The Scream” is far from nice. Francisco Goya’s “Saturn” is horrific, Metallica, Die Antwoort etc etc. But then there is Monet, Faure, Renée Fleming, Peter Jackson, Ariana Grande (ok it’s getting a bit eclectic I admit) but when we look, listen and empathize, we tune in to the Human Condition.

We are all part of The Human Condition, whether we like it or not. Social Media. Expression. The Human Condition.

Us human beings are wired for emotion and connection. For actors, their career gives them a way to safely process and explore their personal wounds through the characters they play. For Richard in particular, his mars is conjunct his North Node. So, his mars and North Node are sextile his Chiron and MC.

Remember, Aries (the sign of Richard's Chiron and MC) is ruled by mars. Mars is the warrior planet, like Aries is the warrior sign. This means that Richard's spiritual journey/life's purpose (North Node) deals directly with healing his soul wound so he can accept and embrace his inner confidence and willpower. This explains why he ends up playing a lot of ultra-masculine characters – mars/Aries are the most macho of them all.

This isn't to say I think Richard should change who he is! I wouldn't be interested in him if he was ultra-masculine or macho. However, for his own sake, I would be overjoyed to see him gain more self-esteem and inner confidence.

Extrapolating from my own personal experiences, the constant criticism and judgement I received during my adolescence from my peers and various authority figures (like family members and teachers) for being unconventional and 'over the top' caused me to turn on myself and repress my passion and will-power for several years. I think it's highly likely that Richard experienced this too.

Here are some quotes from Richard that illustrate everything I've been talking about (emphasis is mine):

Armitage is still notably handsome, but, within minutes of meeting him, it’s apparent how incongruous it is that this bookish, sensitive, self-described ‘melancholic, philosophically-minded softie’ and ardent fan of The Great British Bake Off was cast as beefcake killer totty for a considerable part of his career. ‘It’s ridiculous. It’s the complete opposite to who I am. I’m such a pacifist,’ he laughs. ‘But then, part of me always felt: “Well, isn’t that why we’re actors?”

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'I think the turning point was losing my mum,” he says. “Up until that point, I felt like I mustn’t put a foot wrong, that if I said the wrong thing or revealed too much about my personal life, it could all come crashing down, and it would come down on my parents, and they wouldn’t be proud of me anymore.” He shrugs. “Now that I’m past that I’m actually much more carefree about the choices I make.” (source)

Richard Armitage puts his head in his hands and emits a noise that's somewhere between a sigh, a laugh and a groan. “Oh no! Why would you want to pin this up?” he says with a horrified whisper.

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Never has a man seemed more ill at ease with the heartthrob label. He squirms with embarrassment in his chair every time the subject comes up. He is grateful for the loyalty of his fans, he says, but worries that “there is this thing of, 'Is he just totty?' Because the industry will sometimes write you off as a serious actor if they think that. I have always been conscious of that and fought against it, because I don't really see myself like that at all.”

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This brings us back to Astrov, who looks so relentless towards the future that he can't see the truth in front of his eyes. “It's interesting that he's an outsider in the play. I've often felt like that myself in life. I'm quite a solitary person. I enjoy my time with me, and sometimes it's not necessarily healthy, because I can talk myself into quite a dark place.

I'm an optimist, but at the same time, there's a discipline in me that will attack me for not working hard enough, not achieving enough, not being good enough. You always think, 'I'll grow out of that. With success, those voices will disappear.' But they don't, they get louder. I suppose I'm learning a bit about myself through Astrov.” (source)

The answer in my humble opinion, (and believe me it is humble, to a point of taking 43 years to be shared) is actually something which applies to my work as an actor. … And back to acting, it’s taken me a long time to shake off the effects of bullying in school. That people were always laughing behind my back. I was always looking out of the corner of my eye. I now have incredible peripheral vision which is so useful, (as is Kinesthetic sense…Google it) but try being a brave, experimental, uninhibited actor with all of those hang ups. Wasn’t happening. (Human Condition essay)

So I kind of travelled on that line for a while, and I was bullied for it as well. The problem with me is that as soon as you try to push me down or say “you can’t do this” and “I don’t think you should do that”, I immediately push back. So I did – I’d decided really young that I was going to try to make a career out of it.

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Actually, there was something I wanted to add to what Shaun said, about inclusivity, is that um, no matter how – how much confidence you have or how, in my case, lack. Y’know, I always felt like a misfit, or an oddball, or that I didn’t belong. But I always – I always told myself that ‘you exist in the world, so therefore there’s a place for you in this industry’. I think anybody who feels like, “I can’t become an actor because…” – you exist. And, y’know, the job of filmmakers is to write about our life and society, and if you are a part of that, then there’s a place for you in the industry. (source)

I'm a bit of a brooder. I don't like confrontation, so I think I suppress things. When my temper does come out, it goes all the way – the kind of temper you can't apologize for. Yep, the chair getting thrown out of the window. Those emotions are scary, but hey, they come in useful when you're acting. (source)

Armitage is a noticeably calm presence but he talks with passion.

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In the past, he has described himself as a shy person. “Not any more,” he says forcefully. “I mean… if I’m very, very honest, I’m a big guy, I think I’m at times quite a frightening person.”

In what way?

“I think I’m quite uncompromising. I can’t bear bulls---. And in a way the shyness is me protecting other people from that. I can feel that there’s an intimidation that can happen if I own my full height, and speak at my full volume. So I’ve learned over the years to just tone it all down a bit.” (source)

I've become one of those actors who find it difficult to say no when things are offered. I think if I had come out of drama school and been an instant Hollywood superstar I would be taking long, leisurely holidays. But I always feel somehow it's going to be taken away from me so I work when I can. When you struggled with work as I did when I left drama school you make hay when the sun shines. There was a time when I thought, and my agent thought, it wasn't going to happen for me. We both sat down and I actually said I don't know if I can stay in this state. The interesting roles have only come since I got into my 30s. But I didn't know that was going to happen. I'm a bit of an all or nothing kind of guy. To be honest, I had no blind faith in myself. I don't think I could have stayed around as a jobbing actor. I would probably have quit. Who knows? I think I would have found that too frustrating. But at the moment when I thought I was going to quit, something happened and it all changed again. (source)

[talking about being cast in the Hobbit]

There was a little bit of guidance as to what they were looking for. I felt that I was too young for the character, too tall for that character, so I thought, you know, ‘I’ll just look at the scene they’ve written’. And then I realised the essence of the character that they were aiming for. So I went to meet Peter and Phillipa and we read some of the scenes. I think we spent an hour-and-a-half talking about the character and what their vision was, and I sort of explained who I thought he was, and that was it.

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Yeah, my first instinct, whenever that kind of thing happens, is to say, 'Well what's wrong with the part? Why did nobody else want it'? Which is kind of the story of my life really. When I get offered something, I'm like, 'Well there must be something wrong with it if they're offering it to me!'

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But you know, the thing is, you talk about all of this: ‘How did you get the role? And how did it feel when you got the role?’ And once all that’s died down you start to think, ‘I’ve actually got to go and play this now’. They’ve trusted me. Everyone’s happy, everyone’s celebrated, the phones have gone down and the deal’s been done. Now it’s over to me to make the role work. And that’s the scariest moment, because you do have that elation and then the work begins and you think, ‘How the hell am I going to do this?’ (source)

How was it for you taking on this beloved role, this character that has such a huge responsibilty on his back? Could you relate in some ways?

Richard Armitage: Yeah. There is always building within him this paranoia that he’s not a good enough leader, and that weighs him down. I have experienced that same feeling as an actor in this role. And I was aware of taking on the responsibility of that character, so there was something I could latch onto there, as one of the people who loved ‘The Hobbit’ book and had envisioned that character. It took me a while to be convinced that I could do it, it wasn’t until I saw some sketches, this one particular pencil sketch….there was something about this characters eyes and the way that his hands are crossed, I thought, “I think I can do this, I can pull this off.” (source)

Q: I wanted to ask you about what your Arkenstone is. For you personally.

A: Me personally?

Q: And I meant for this to be materialistic. What's the thing that you covet so much that it makes you mad that you don't have it?

A: Well, it's actually not material. It's not material, and it's – (laughs) You want a comedy answer, don't you? But it's respect. It's the thing that always eludes you, you know. You have to fight for it and when you get it, your arkenstone, the thing that crowns you, is respect.

Q: And also a sweater.

A: And a sweater. I do have this little natty number.

Q: It's a good one man.

A: Tom Ford made this personally. But hey, he can have it back. I don't covet wealth and material. (source)

Q6: You’ve done a variety of different roles, I wonder what influences you to pursue those roles?

R: More often than not, you go where you’re wanted. So getting hired is still kind of a revelation to me, a shock and a surprise. Sometimes you have very flat periods, where I don’t really care what comes next, I just want to work on something. I feel like I’ve got a little cloud of luck over my head so the right thing always seems to come along. But again, I’m easily excited about literature and stories, so I’ve always said I don’t really pursue glory, I’d happily do acting for two people in my living room if it was a role that I really enjoyed with a story I’d really like to tell. So it’s chance, I would say.

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Q8: Once in an interview about Thorin, you were asked what your arkenstone was and your answer was respect. I like this answer a lot. So I was wondering what’s your red dragon? As you said yesterday he’s a character who sheds his skin, improves, and becomes something. I was wondering if there was something you’d like to improve, become?

R: I guess the antithesis of that is disrespect. Do you mean in myself?

Q8: Yes.

R: Yeah I try not to be too disrespectful. I guess I value the truth. I think we’re living at a time at the moment where the truth is warped and there’s a word that’s been in my head for a long time, and particularly recently it’s come to the surface. When I was studying Macbeth, at the RSC, I read a long thesis about the gunpowder plot, which was one of the things they thought that Shakespeare (or whoever Shakespeare was) was stimulated by to write Macbeth. And the word equivocation was used in this thesis, it was actually about equivocation and what equivocation is. And if you look it up in the dictionary, at the moment most politicians are equivocating. When you don’t answer a question, or you bend the truth to make it seem like you are answering the question, and in fact you’re telling a lie. So I would say my red dragon would be equivocation.

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Then there was the physical form that I was studying and observing, but also, I do sometimes enjoy locking myself away in a room and reading a book or just doing something alone, and you sometimes can go a couple of days without speaking to anybody. I don’t know whether anyone else experiences this or whether I’m just a weirdo. But I find that when that happens my voice changes, and I always forget how to make a noise, I have to do a warm-up before I go into the world and start speaking again.

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Q15: I was wondering if you ever had to pull out of a project because it felt wrong or something, and what is the point where you say “nope I can’t do this”?

R: Um, no. But that’s partly to do with the fact that I have a lot of loyalty, probably too much loyalty for my own good, really, and there’ve been moment when I’ve been on board a project, and actually it happened this year with The Lodge, I was already on board that project and something else came along which was bigger and better and brighter and more money, and your agent says “look we can pull you out of The Lodge, they can probably recast it,” and here I think “I’ve already started this process, I don’t want to let people down,” and I don’t have a problem with that at all, I never have any regrets over the things that you miss or the things that you decide not to do, I think there’s a strong enough reason why you’ve decided not to do it, but in general no I haven’t ever pulled out of something. There was one television show I remember, I’m not going to say what it is, but after the first readthrough, I did call my agent and asked, “can I get out of this?” And then he quickly got back to me and said, “don’t do it. Don’t build a reputation built on disloyalty.” So I try not to.

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Q18: I think you are very handsome, but your character Francis hated the way he looked, how did that make you feel?

R: Francis hated the way he looked? Yeah. I guess there is something we relate to in that. Without getting too personal, I don’t always enjoy looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t do it very often, to be honest. I do it just to be sure I don’t have food on my face. I do it in character, actually. I do spend a bit of time studying my own face when I’m playing a character, which is interesting because your face does change. (source)

He cannot see the handsomeness: “I think I am odd-looking. I have big lines on my forehead.” I squint, looking for them, but he is talking over me, sounding slightly panicked. “I shouldn’t draw attention to it, because then everyone else will see the oddness.”

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Laziness is what makes him angry: “Laziness in myself. Laziness in other people. And dishonesty. All things I feel capable of myself. I have a propensity to be lazy and lie about it. Fear makes me rageful. There are words in The Crucible I actually find it quite hard to say.” I beg for an example — The Crucible is in the public domain. “No,” he says, “you’ll see it in the play.” I tell him it will make no sense in print if he will not tell me. But he won’t. So I change the subject. It works. “OK, I will give you a line.” He inflates a little and says: “Is there no good penitence but it be public?” And then: “Were I stone I would have cracked for shame this seven month.” (source)

Q: How would you describe your evolution as an actor since you started?

A: I think everything has to do with the fact that today I’m not afraid anymore. At first, I was embarrassed to do something wrong or do things badly or make myself ridiculous. Today, I am almost looking for opportunities to be ridiculous or vulnerable or to make as much of a mistake as possible. In a sense, it’s now the opposite of being undercover.

Q: Are you the actor you dreamed of being when you started?

A: Not yet. I am not yet fearless enough. It’s in waves, actually. But I have already approached this dream. There were moments, especially during Arthur Miller’s The Crucible, which I performed on stage, where I felt I had no control over things. That’s what I’m looking for: to lose control.

Q: You often play bad guys. What do you like in these characters?

A: I like disobedience. I like the fact that you can be disobedient thanks to your creativity. As a person, I must always be polite in life, be careful and correct so as not to hurt anyone. In a fantasy world, I can be as offensive as I want. It’s an outlet. (Laughter)

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Q: Many actors are moving to directing. Is this also your goal?

A: I would like to, but I do not think I’m smart enough. I am good when it comes to working with another’s vision. I do not think I have that creative spontaneity that creates a vision from scratch. But the future will tell. (source)

I applaud Richard for being so open and direct about his fears and insecurities. It takes a lot of bravery to do so. And while I've seen some fans get annoyed with his continual self-deprecation, I think his honesty and openness is much more significant, and shows his inner strength. He doesn't try to pretend to be someone he's not.

He recently described himself as “patient, obsessive, and silly” (source). The patient part is classic Virgo, and the obsessive part comes from an element of his natal chart that I have not mentioned.

The silly part, however, is classic Leo. Like I said above, he has an almost equal amount of Leo and Virgo in his personality. Personally, I'm proud to be a Leo, but I also know we get misunderstood a lot of the time. I wrote the following for an essay of mine on Leos in Disney:

Your sun sign represents your core identity. Just like the physical sun is the center of the solar system and its energy creates life, the astrological sun is our consciousness and life force. Each of the twelve sun signs are ruled by a different planet and element.

Since Leo is the fixed fire sign, we don't inherit the reckless and impulsive nature of fire, but instead are a steady flame. No sign is more reckless and impulsive than Aries, because they have the double combination of being a cardinal sign and a fire sign. Meanwhile, all four of the fixed signs struggle with stubbornness and admitting when their wrong.

Leo's are well known to be natural leaders and the rulers of the zodiac. We are ruled by the sun and our animal is the lion. We dream big and are born with big personalities, and we can't help but be theatrical and dramatic. This means we are always self-centered in the sense of being strong-willed and having a strong sense of self. It does not mean all Leos are egotistical.

Unhealthy Leo traits all revolve around the ego: attention-seeking, egotistical, selfish, bossy, controlling, pushy, jealous, possessive, lazy, vain, arrogant, aggressive, and obstinate.

Healthy Leos, however, are known for our fire-based traits – being animated, theatrical, happy, outgoing, independent, competitive, charismatic, creative, open-minded, open-hearted, confident, assertive, playful, warm, social, courageous, idealistic, affectionate, romantic, optimistic, and adventurous.

What isn't often talked about is our steadiness, our fixed-based traits. Leos are authentic, steadfast, fiercely loyal and protective, consistent, persistent, full-hearted, dedicated, need to do their best, generous and selfless, honorable and moral, genuine and direct, extremely supportive, hard-working and responsible, dignified, strong-willed, and ambitious and determined.

Something that is often mentioned but highly misunderstood is our trait of courage. Having courage doesn't mean you're fearless or reckless. The definition of courage is “the power or quality of dealing with or facing danger, fear, pain, etc.” It means that instead of running away from our problems or denying our emotions; healthy Leos face them and be genuine and direct with ourselves, embracing our vulnerability.

Having a big personality doesn't necessarily mean someone has a big ego. C.S. Lewis once said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.” Leos have huge hearts and are incredibly generous. The sun never goes retrograde, always shines, and gives life and energy to all living beings – it isn't selective or discriminatory. Healthy Leos are like mini suns; which is why we are also irrepressibly upbeat, optimistic, and fun-loving.

We're not pushovers. We are like roses – we have both flower petals and thorns. If you mess with someone we love you're going down. We're too loyal and protective to let major things slide; and even if we forgive, we never forget. Little things? We'll try to work them out with you.

Being naturally strong-willed and assertive is healthy – it just means we usually make horrible subordinates and yes people. There's nothing wrong with having high standards and being open about them. In fact, in relationships it's far better in the long run to open and frank about what you need and what you consider a dealbreaker from the beginning.

And oh yes are we ambitious and competitive – but most often with ourselves. We're natural leaders who always dream and think big. For a healthy Leo it's not about being the best, but doing your best. We have to be grand and intense, we're ruled by the sun. It's all or nothing for us. Settling is not something a Leo does. We need to be the best leader, the best friend, the best partner, etc. that we possibly can.

Also, in astrology each sign rules a different body part, and Leo rules the heart and upper back.

Adding to this, Leos are known as the Kings/Queens of the zodiac not because we're egotistical, but because our sun sign is the sun. It's like a double amount sun. I could go into significantly more detail about this, but it involves a lot of technical astrological details; so if anyone wants to know more just message me!

Going back to Richard, having his core self (sun) and love/beauty (venus) in Leo explains why he is an actor and artist; and why he is often warm, silly, and dramatic when he feels comfortable – his long interview with The Anglophile Channel (and it's deleted scenes) does a great job of showing the synergy between his Leo and Virgo sides.

We see Richard express the heartfelt, generous, sincere, and honorable side of Leo all the time. This is why I'm sure he has the inner-confidence and strength hidden within him to overcome the deep pain his Chiron causes him (like it does to us all). I hope he continues to find projects and people that help him on his journey to heal.

Thank you for reading this, I'm wishing him and you all the best. Take care!

#Richard #Richard Armitage #Astrology #Mine

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foxghost · 3 years

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Joyful Reunion, Chapter 91

Translator: foxghost @foxghost tumblr/ko-fi1 Beta: meet-me-in-oblivion @meet-me-in-oblivion tumblr Original by 非天夜翔 Fei Tian Ye Xiang Masterpost | Characters, Maps & Other Reference Index

Book 3, Chapter 21 (Part 1)

Autumn sun is burning bright overhead as Li Yanqiu brings the horse to a halt outside the Hall of Supreme Harmony. An evening breeze has set the banners to either side of him fluttering.

“Long Live Your Majesty!” The Black Armours army salutes, falling on one knee in front of him in an earth-shattering display.

Xie You and Cai Yan have slowly made their way to the palace, but Li Yanqiu has stopped there before the steps, his mind wandering for a little while. Earlier, there was that one moment where it felt as though he … sensed something.

“Good work,” Li Yanqiu says.

The Black Armours part like the tides, leaving a path open. Li Yanqiu steps into the main palace. The Jiangzhou Imperial Palace has seen its share of trials and tribulations, but after some repair and renovation it has become even more extravagant than the one in Xichuan. A eunuch steps forward to untie Li Yanqiu’s cape for him, after which Li Yanqiu keeps walking through the corridor.

Both Zheng Yan and Lang Junxia have already arrived. As Li Yanqiu walks by the Eastern Palace, he glances inside to find Lang Junxia sitting in the corridor playing his flute. He doesn’t get up to bow even as Li Yanqiu passes by.

“It has been a wearisome journey.” Li Yanqiu pays no mind to Lang Junxia, and simply says to Cai Yan, “Go get some rest.”

Cai Yan trails him from behind. “The auspicious hour where we must offer sacrifices to the heavens is at dawn tomorrow. You should try to sleep earlier as well, uncle.”

“We may have a new home, but I’ll be taking my medicine as always. Don’t worry.”

And so along with the other servants of the Eastern Palace, Cai Yan bows as Li Yanqiu departs.

In the Palace of Eternal Autumn,2 Mu Jinzhi is painting her eyebrows in front of the mirror. Her clothes, accessories and makeup have also been delivered, and her maids are opening and checking each box over one by one.

“Who got on your nerves this time, Your Majesty?” Mu Jinzhi says with a smile, her reflection looking at Li Yanqiu in the mirror, one eyebrow raised.

“No one in particular got on my nerves,” Li Yanqiu replies, standing behind Mu Jinzhi. "No matter how sharp your eyes may be, there are times when you can be mistaken.”

Mu Jinzhi puts down her hairpin and says, “A request to recruit retainers for the crown prince’s palace has been issued. We should get a list of candidates after the civil exams and let him take as long as he likes to choose.”

Li Yanqiu replies courteously, “Thank you for keeping this in mind and taking the trouble, Empress.”

They hardly have anything to say to each other, and so as soon as Li Yanqiu finishes saying this, he leaves the room. In the mirror, Mu Jinzhi rolls her eyes at his back.

Li Yanqiu returns to his bedroom and looks out at the clear skies outside.

Zheng Yan happens to be sitting beneath the veranda, asking a servant to open up a case for him to search for his wine.

“Zheng Yan.” Li Yanqiu is wearing a slight frown. “Why are you still here?”

“The crown prince despises me, Your Majesty.” Zheng Yan says courteously, “With Wuluohou Mu around, I no longer have a need to see him roll his eyes at me. Don’t you think he and I would both be happier if we don’t see each other?”

“The sight of Wuluohou Mu makes my blood boil.” Li Yanqiu gives his reply to Zheng Yan just as amicably, “All four of you great assassins are warped — from what I can see now, it actually seems like Wu Du, the least accomplished amongst you, is more upright than you lot. I keep wondering if Wu Du’s poisoned you people, and that’s why you three have become this way.”

Now those words have essentially insulted Zheng Yan along with the rest. One brother Li used to be sharp as a blade, while the other is brocade with hidden needles. Zheng Yan sussed out Li Yanqiu’s disposition long ago, and knows he’s furious.

Zheng Yan says at once, “Forgive me, Your Majesty. I’ll head over to the Eastern Palace right away.”

Only once Zheng Yan is gone does Li Yanqiu heave a long, long sigh.

“Your Majesty, it’s time for your medicine.” A palace maid brings him his medicine. Li Yanqiu takes it without looking, drinks it, and casually tosses it into the courtyard. The coloured glaze bowl shatters into a million pieces with a quiet crash.

“Wow —!” Duan Ling has finally arrived in his new home.

The chancellor’s estate has given Wu Du and Duan Ling a courtyard house only an alley away from the main house. Compared to their old house on the outskirts of the estate in Xichuan, their new home is a lot bigger, with four buildings, two gates, a spirit screen, and a back courtyard where they can keep horses. They’ve even been assigned a steward and two servants to have at their beck and call.

The courtyard has a rockery and a pond; the land behind the pond is a bamboo grove. Peach trees are planted at the edges, while a gentle stream is led into the pond, flowing back out through a zigzagging water duct. The bamboo pipes are set on top of the wall, and the water itself is drawn from the chancellor’s main estate.

“The Lord Chancellor said you should rest for now,” says the steward. “Have a bath and wash off the dust of the road. There will be a banquet in honour of your return tonight.”

“You may go. We don’t need anyone to wait on us,” Wu Du tells the steward in the front courtyard. Duan Ling is inside looking this way and that; their new home is outfitted with silk brocade blankets and screens; carved windows cast ornate shadows on the walls, reminding him of the Viburnum. Even the decorative items are made of celadon. There’s also a study provided for him to study in.

The steward carefully helps Wu Du into the room.

“Certainly.” The steward seems to have predicted as much from Wu Du, so he merely stands out in the courtyard — but he isn’t leaving.

Duan Ling stops to think, then he tells the steward, “Master Wu’s house contains secret information of the martial arts societies, and too many poisonous things are kept here. He’s worried that it may unintentionally injure you and the other servants, so you don’t need to stay here in the courtyard house. If we should need anything I’ll go ask for help at the Chancellor’s estate. You may go.”

The steward nods then, and after giving both Duan Ling and Wu Du a bow, takes his leave.

The only way Wu Du and Duan Ling can have a conversation is to not have any outsiders around — otherwise they may drop dead before finding out how or why.

“There’s money here too!” Duan Ling says in the next room over, “Two hundred taels of gold!”

Duan Ling had already written a report of the treasure from Tongguan. Now that Mu Kuangda has a mountain of gold, Duan Ling doesn’t even know what the chancellor is going to do with it. If it’s for spending though, it’s enough to buy an entire city. This bit of reward isn’t really all that much money.

But Duan Ling is still pretty glad to have it. At least they won’t have to eat flatbread at every meal anymore.

Sitting in the room, Wu Du says, “If there’s anything you want to eat I’ll go out and buy it for you.”

“You stay put. Stop moving.”

Duan Ling comes in with bedding in his arms, and after telling Wu Du to scoot over, he puts another pillow on his bed.

Wu Du stares at Duan Ling and says, “If you sleep in this room, I’ll sleep on the floor. Right there, just off the bed. That way I can keep you safe.”

“You’re not worried I’ll stomp you to death when I get up to get water at night?” Duan Ling says smilingly.

Wu Du recalls that this was precisely what he said himself several months ago, and suddenly finds it really funny. Both of them laugh.

Wu Du says, “Let me do this.”

“Can’t you just listen to me?” Duan Ling says seriously.

“Alright alright.” Wu Du replies, “But you’ve got to give me something to do. I’m injured, but I’m not a cripple.”

Wu Du really doesn’t feel right having Duan Ling wait on him this way, but it’s not due to Duan Ling’s identity — it’s because for all his years he’s never had anyone take care of him like this before.

“Then take a bath,” Duan Ling says to Wu Du.

Wu Du raises a hand and sniffs his sleeve, upon which his face goes bright red. Duan Ling leaves the room to summon a servant to bring them water.

The young servants carry in a huge tub and set it down in the corner room. Then they add bucket after bucket of hot water, then some cold water to cool it down.

“I can wash myself,” Wu Du says hurriedly.

“Strip already,” Duan Ling says to him, then he carries Wu Du’s dirty clothes off to the back courtyard where he tosses them into a basin. He draws some water and soaks the clothes in them before he heads back to the house to search for clean clothes. Mu Kuangda has found the right person this time; the steward they met earlier is extremely considerate, and Duan Ling has somehow forgotten to give him a little bonus.

Soon, Duan Ling comes in with a bundle of fresh clothes, and he rolls up his sleeves to scrub down Wu Du. Wu Du still has bandages wrapped around his hand that mustn’t get wet, and he’s trying to scrub himself with one hand. When he sees Duan Ling come in, the blush on his handsome face spreads all the way down to his collarbones.

Duan Ling holds Wu Du down and scrubs him clean all over. Ever since the night he sustained those injuries, Wu Du hasn’t had a bath. And now with his left hand resting at the edge of the tub, his wide and strong shoulders and back are above the water, letting Duan Ling scrub him as he wishes.

“Don’t fall in now. Hey don’t—don’t—don’t—don’t reach any lower!”

The bathtub is huge, and Duan Ling has leaned halfway into the tub. Wu Du can feel that Duan Ling really is seriously trying to scrub him down, but alas Duan Ling’s hands keep moving all around his body touching him and Wu Du can’t take much more of this.

Duan Ling says, “Raise your leg a little.”

Wu Du finds Duan Ling quite amusing all of a sudden, and in a bout of playfulness he wraps one arm over him and pulls him in. With a splash, the ground all around the bathtub is covered in water.

Duan Ling says angrily, “Why you!”

Duan Ling is soaked through, while Wu Du’s cheeks are suffused with a blush. He laughs. “You go ahead and bathe. I’m done.”

Duan Ling says, “You’re too dirty. Stop moving.”

Duan Ling unties his robe, removes his wet clothes and pants, and climbs onto Wu Du to straddle his thigh naked. When he does, an unbidden and indescribable sensation rises to the surface of his heart. He’s never felt this way before, not in any instance where he’s touched Wu Du skin on skin.

Duan Ling’s face also starts to take on a blush; it’s almost like he’s returned to that night when he was still a child, that night when he saw Lang Junxia’s body through the window panes. Yet when he faces Wu Du now his heart is beating even faster, as though there’s an exceedingly novel and exciting sensation just hiding behind a layer of gauzy silk, waiting for him to reach out for it.

“Why’ve you stopped talking?” On the contrary, Wu Du has come back to himself. With one arm languidly resting on the edge of the tub, he uses the other hand to give Duan Ling’s pale back a pat, staring at him with a questioning look in his eyes.

“No—no reason,” Duan Ling says nervously.

In that instant Wu Du seems to have realised something as well; his eyes are smiling.

Duan Ling hums something quiet, and without looking up to meet his eyes, he keeps scrubbing at Wu Du’s chest with a cloth.

Outside the room, footsteps approach, and both Wu Du and Duan Ling stop moving.

“Hey buddy, don’t you still owe me a cup of wine?” Zheng Yan’s voice says indolently.

Duan Ling is quite startled — he’s never met Zheng Yan before, so he’s assuming it’s someone from the chancellor’s estate barging into their house. But Wu Du is wrapping one arm around Duan Ling’s waist and pulling him closer.

Without a pause, Zheng Yan keeps walking towards them and opens the door to the corner room. Right as the door opens, Wu Du is holding the fully naked Duan Ling in his arms, making him drape himself on his chest, burying Duan Ling’s head against his shoulder.

When Zheng Yan comes in it’s to a view of Wu Du holding a young man, the two of them taking a bath together.

“Zheng Yan! Can you take a hint or what?!” Wu Du says impatiently, “Get outta here!”

Zheng Yan bursts out laughing uncontrollably. He hurriedly closes the door and says, “Continue, don’t get mad at me please. I truly never expected that.”

Wu Du replies, “Wait outside. That’s enough out of you.”

Duan Ling only looks up again once Zheng Yan’s footsteps have grown distant, and before that he was pressed up against Wu Du, both of them naked. He had felt their hearts both beating out of their chests, as well as that thing between their legs swelling up so much they’ve gone stiff.

They face each other, a little out of breath. Wu Du puts a finger in front of his lips to pantomime shh, and that they should continue washing up. Duan Ling swallows, and scrubs Wu Du’s hair for him.

“All done now,” Duan Ling says quietly, and steps out so quickly that he nearly slips on the floor.

“Careful.” Wu Du reaches out to wrap an arm around Duan Ling’s waist, making him stand upright.

Duan Ling quickly wipes himself down and puts on a pair of pants. The blush has faded from his cheeks. He helps Wu Du out of the bath to dry him with a cloth, but when he gets between Wu Du’s legs, the dry cloth bumps into the erect, powerful thing standing there, and they’re both blushing crimson again.

Wu Du throws a robe around himself. His injuries are almost all healed, and he can already walk with a little bit of a limp. He puts on a pair of wooden sandals and limps his way across the veranda, dragging his feet, passing by Zheng Yan as he heads to the main house to look for things.

“So fast?” Zheng Yan says, “I didn’t scare it out of there, did I?”

Wu Du spits profanity at Zheng Yan, startling Duan Ling who’s still in the corner room, as it’s the first time he’s ever heard Wu Du say something so foul. Soon enough, the sound of wooden sandals are approaching him again as Wu Du slowly clacks all the way back to hand Duan Ling clean clothes for him to change into.

Once they’ve dressed properly, the servants come back to get the bathtub. Wu Du’s hair is still dripping wet as he leans against the daybed, barefoot and dressed in nothing but a bathrobe. He raises his left hand so that Duan Ling can change his bandages for him, before he starts engaging in an intermittent conversation with Zheng Yan.

I do not monetise my hobby translations, but if you’d like to support my work generally or support my light novel habit, you can either buy me a coffee or commission me. This is also to note that if you see this message anywhere else than on tumblr, do come to my tumblr. It’s ad-free. ↩︎

The Palace of Eternal Autumn is the imperial empress’s palace, and sometimes the phrase stands for the empress, just as “Eastern Palace” stands for the crown prince. ↩︎

#相見歡 #fei tian ye xiang #joyful reunion #xiang jian huan #fox translates things

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thusatlas · 3 years

Text

The Etiquette of Reviews

Hold my purse, I’m about to rant.

Since my dive back into fandom, I have fully immersed myself into the whole fandom culture. Previously, I was part of the 2009 FanFic.net crew (if you know, you know).

It was a simpler and yet harsher time back then. I’ve seen a few posts floating around Tumblr outlining the history of fandom and how far we have come in terms of Ao3 and rights etc etc etc.

That’s not this post.

This post is about the plethora of other posts that I have seen regarding, what I have come to call, ‘gatekeeping’.

It goes without saying, that the majority of any fandom are consumers of media in any form. It also goes without saying, that everyone is a critic. What I’m about to say, will boil down to this one simple statement:

You absolutely have the right to say and express yourself in anyway you wish - but this does not give you the right to hurt someone.

As readers and consumers of fandom content, there will be stuff that you disagree with. This is now a well-established message - you’re an adult, if you don’t like X out.

In light of the tiktok cancel campaigns, I feel like an insidious part of fandom needs to be addressed.

This incessant need to cannibalise ourselves.

Did that grab your attention?

Good. Now listen.

Authors and artists are receiving instantaneous feedback from tens, hundreds - sometimes thousands of people and humans are not built for this type of psychological assault. It hurts when you receive a bad review - Hell I’ve had a few! The worst being:

This is fucking shit. Don’t waste your time.

(You can’t fault them really, they were to the point.)

As a creator, you accept that you will receive bad reviews, and as much as it hurts you accept that that will be the case because not everyone will like the art that you produce.

But what is worse, when someone from within fandom, someone who is either a fellow creator or hides behind an anonymous guest tag, deliberately sets out to find fault in your work. And then they decide that it’s appropriate to leave “helpful” comments in the review section. These comments are from people who portray themselves to be better and more knowledgable than you, and then they try to teach you how write or draw or whatever - as if you haven’t spent hours on the thing that they are reviewing.

They come across as the friendly helping face, and yet they leave patronising and condescending messages publicly either in the review section, or on a public forum like Discord.

Let me make this clear.

YOU ARE NOT BEING HELPFUL

YOU ARE BEING RUDE

YOU ARE BEING PATRONISING

AND YOU ARE BEING AN ODIOUS BLOODY BULLY

If you would like to be helpful and leave constructive criticism, reach out to the author privately via DM and say:

‘hey, really sorry to say this, I hope you don’t mind. I found a typo in x paragraph. I thought you may like to know.’

Or, if you are going to leave a public review - SHIT SANDWICH!

‘hey I really like this thing that you did here.

I hope you don’t mind me saying, there’s a typo here.

This thing you did there was fantastic. Looking forward to the next chapter!’

AND THAT’S IT!

Calling out creators in this patronising, demeaning way in public, does not make you look big, nor does it make you look clever.

If the creator does not ask for constructive criticism - do not leave it. Chances are, their work has already gone through multiple hours of edits and peer-reviews and all-sorts. If they do not ask, do not assume that your concrit will be received well.

SECONDLY

Other creators who think that it is their place to gatekeep. They do this again, by appearing like a friendly face, when in fact they come in and say that ‘this FANDOM detail is wrong’.

OR, highlighting their own work as being an example of good or correct, when criticising yours!

NO! NO! NO! NO!

If your opinions are that strong, do it behind closed doors in DM’s - that’s just common fucking curtesy! We all receive the same negative press from the general readers on public forums, we don’t need it from our own too!

Finally

I feel like this needs to be said, because the people who do the above, also tend to portray certain characteristics and behaviours when they interact with people.

STOP. TAKING. YOURSELF. SO. GODDAMN. SERIOUSLY!

Arrogance translates across written text, far more than you think it does.

Everytime you leave one of these insidious patronising comments, or take over a thread to self-promote when NOBODY FUCKING ASKED, you leech the fun from fandom, just that little bit more.

This is not me saying that you can’t leave bad reviews - darling, if you want to go off, be true to your belief. BUT you do not have the right to hurt the creator with your words. Just don’t come in, acting like a friend and ally, only to stab the knife in our backs at the last minute. Have some fucking integrity and own your shitty behaviour.

GET SOME CLASS AND STAY IN YOUR LANE.

#fandom #fandom culture #review etiquette #creators #art #author #writing #drawing #ao3fic #ao3 #ff.net #culture #wattpad #tumblr thunder

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bellakitse · 4 years

Text

Let's Start with Breakfast

“Hi, you must be TK,” he says, turning around to face him fully, and TK doesn’t know where to look – that beautiful face with a head full of curls he wants to sink his hands into, or the perfectly chiseled chest that reminds TK of studying about Michelangelo’s David in his art studies course. “I’m Carlos.”

TK wakes up in his friend's apartment and meets his new roommate, Carlos.

30 days of Tarlos - Day 8

TK wakes up with a serious crick in his neck and a post-it note on his forehead. The pain he understands, that’s what he gets for sleeping on his friend Paul’s couch instead of just going back to his apartment the night before. The note is the same friend being a jerk. He sits up with a groan; it’s not just his neck that hurts but his back too from the less than comfortable couch. Pulling the note off his forehead, he squints at Paul’s chicken scratch.

Had to go to class, mopey, there are coffee and bagels in the kitchen. Stay as long as you want, but don’t bother my new roommate.

TK rolls his eyes at the nickname his friend has given him. Last night while he and Paul were out, they’d run into his ex with the guy he’d cheated on him with; if that wasn’t a reason to be a little depressed, TK didn’t know what was.

TK gets up, heading for the bathroom first. He steps lightly, trying not to wake up Paul’s new mysterious roommate. From what Paul told him, the guy is in the Police Academy and keeps odd hours. He only moved into Paul’s spare bedroom three weeks ago and TK – while nursing a broken heart for almost two months now since he caught his ex in the arms of another man – hasn’t had a chance to meet the guy yet.

He takes his time washing his face, brushing his teeth with one of the spare toothbrushes Paul likes to keep under the sink. When he’s done, he exits the bathroom and heads for the kitchen, stopping short when he hears a sound coming from inside. He hesitates for a moment, he’s probably not at his best to meet Paul’s roommate, but he can already smell the coffee he’s brewing, and TK desperately needs a cup.

Running a hand through his hair and then down his shirt in hopes to smooth some of the wrinkles, he takes a breath before stepping into the small cream-colored kitchen.

The man inside the kitchen is tall, muscled and shirtless, TK takes in all the beautiful exposed skin as he looks at the back facing him. He has defined shoulders and arms; his back tapers down in a V-shape to a spectacular ass, clothed in black slim-fitted joggers that makes TK drool. He doesn’t consider himself a shallow guy, but TK knows a beautiful man when he sees one, and even with just having seen his back, TK knows Paul’s roommate is gorgeous, something his friend failed to mention when telling him about the guy.

“Um – “ he starts hesitantly. “Good morning?”

The guy turns around, the half-smile on his face makes TK’s breath halt in his lungs. If TK thought the guy was beautiful from behind, it’s nothing compared to seeing his face. He’s stunning with deep brown eyes that look warm, a full-mouth that curves upward a little more, friendly and inviting, and a jawline that could cut glass.

“Hi,” he says again, and not much else, his mouth has gone dry, and he feels tongue-tied. He’s never had such an immediate reaction to someone like this before, and he feels a little lost as his heart races and his palms sweat.

“Would you like some coffee?” Carlos asks him, that pleasant smile still on his face. TK tells himself to snap out of it before Carlos goes from friendly to uncomfortable, just because he’s having a hard time handling the effect Carlos is having on him.

“Yes, please,” he says, taking a step forward when Carlos holds out a cup for him. “Thanks,” he smiles, taking the mug, his fingers brushing against Carlos’. He’s sure he just imagines the spark of electricity that runs between them, but then he sees the way Carlos’ eyes widen, his gaze on their hands and wonders.

“Yeah – “ Carlos says softly, his brown eyes finding his. “No problem.”

TK gives him a closed-mouth smile, not sure what to say with the sudden tension in the room. It’s not awkward; it’s more like awareness of the other.

“Do you feel like breakfast?” Carlos asks, waving his hand at the stove where he has a skillet ready to go. “I could make you an omelet. Do you like veggie?”

“Oh – ” TK starts, shaking his head. “I don’t want you to go to any trouble; I should probably get out of your hair and out of your apartment.”

“It’s no trouble,” Carlos answers quickly. “I was going to make one for myself anyway; it’s pretty easy to add a couple of extra eggs.”

TK hesitates, and Carlos gives him a captivating smile that gives TK butterflies like he hasn’t felt since he was fourteen and kissed his first boy.

“I’m a really good cook,” Carlos promises, his grin boyish and sweet, it makes TK smile back.

“Better than Paul?” he teases, chuckling when Carlos scoffs.

“Strickland wishes he could be as amazing in the kitchen as I am,” Carlos boasts, and TK raises his eyebrow at that.

“Paul is a great cook,” he says, doubtful of the man in front of him and his culinary prowess, when he’s tasted his friend’s cooking.

“I’m better,” Carlos assures him once more with a smirk, a little cocky and maybe even a little flirty.

TK grins, charmed by Carlos’ confidence. “Well, then I guess I have to stick around and have some of this spectacular cooking.”

Carlos grins at him pleased, he turns towards the refrigerator, pulling out the ingredients he needs to get started. TK leans back against one of the counters, sipping his coffee as Carlos moves around the kitchen with ease, just like Paul usually does. He presumes it comes with the sureness of someone who knows what they’re doing.

TK can barely boil water; he tells Carlos this, earning himself a laugh.

“I’m sure you’re not that bad,” he says, throwing him an amused look over his shoulder.

“Oh, I am,” TK says with a self-deprecating laugh of his own. “My father is a fire captain; he has made me swear not to cook without a fire extinguisher and adult supervision.

Carlos laughs again as he pours the egg mixture on the hot skillet, he turns back to TK, leaning against the opposite side counter with his arms crossed. TK swallows hard at the way it makes his arms bulge.

“How are you, by the way?” he asks gently, and TK pulls his gaze from the pretty muscles to look up at his even prettier face full of concern, it lets TK instantly know that his buddy Paul has been talking about him with his roommate.

“I take it, you know?” he asks, the sheepish look on Carlos’ face confirmation enough.

“Paul wasn’t gossiping,” Carlos says softly. “I asked about you, and he told me you were going through a bad break-up.”

“Why did you ask him about me?” he asks, not upset but curious, especially when Carlos’ cheeks go pink.

“I – uh,” he starts, letting out a self-conscious laugh. “I saw you a few weeks ago at the coffee shop on Elm with Paul; you were wearing a yellow hoodie.”

“And that’s why you asked about me?” he asks again a little confused, his heart though ticks upward when Carlos gives him a penetrating look.

“I asked about you because you’re beautiful,” he says softly. “In that hoodie, you were the most adorable thing I have ever seen, and I wanted to know you.”

TK’s breath catches at Carlos’ candidness.

He turns back to the omelet, flipping it over once. “But Paul told me you had just broken up with your boyfriend,” he says, looking at him with sympathy. “And that it wasn’t pretty, so I didn’t push for an introduction.”

He watches as Carlos moves around, getting out some pre-cut fruit from the fridge, placing it on the two plates with the eggs and a piece of toast. Holding both plates, he points towards the living room. TK follows him back to the couch he slept on, speaking once they’re both seated with their food.

“I walked in on him with another guy,” he says quietly, looking down at the nice plate of food, it looks and smells really good, he only looks up at Carlos when he hears him swear.

“He’s a fucking idiot, TK,” Carlos says sternly. “I don’t even know him, and yet I know he’s the stupidest fucker on the planet to have you and then cheat.”

TK’s lips quirk upward at the conviction in Carlos’ voice. “Agreed.”

Carlos’ eyes crinkle at the sides as he smiles. Smiling back, TK shakes his head softly before taking a bite of the omelet, he lets out a surprised sound at the burst of flavor, and looks back at Carlos only to find him already watching him.

“You still doubted my skills,” Carlos says with mock-sorrow. “Shameful.”

TK swallows around the delicious breakfast to let out a laugh; he can’t remember the last time he had this much fun over breakfast and a simple conversation.

“I promise never to doubt you again,” he swears, pleased when Carlos gives him a grin.

They eat the rest of their breakfast while getting to know each other. Carlos tells him about the police academy. TK tells him about his classes, and how he really wants to be a firefighter like his father, but promised he would get a degree before starting his training. When they’re done with their plates, Carlos takes them back into the kitchen while TK waits on the couch. He comes back after a bit, and TK has to swallow a disappointed sigh when he sees that Carlos has put on a shirt along the way back.

He watches him as he shifts for a moment, and TK starts to get up, realizing that he’s probably worn out his welcome, and it’s time to leave his friend’s apartment and his roommate’s kindness.

“So I should probably – “

“Do you want to hang out?” Carlos blurts out in a rush. “We could watch a movie?”

TK startles back while Carlos looks at him almost timid.

“I know you’re probably not ready to date or anything,” he continues quickly. “And that’s cool with me, but maybe we can get to know each other?”

“Carlos – “ he says softly, his heart squeezing with affection for the sweet man in front of him. He’s beautiful, but TK is quickly realizing that it’s not just outside beauty that Carlos possesses.

“I like you,” Carlos tells him, taking a step forward until he’s standing in front of him. “There is something about you that pulls me in, and it’s not just those beautiful green eyes of yours,” he smiles at him, and TK can’t help but smile back, his heart beating with excitement. “Though they are very pretty, TK.”

“Yours are pretty stunning too,” he whispers back, swallowing hard when Carlos touches his hand, he turns it to take Carlos’, interlocking their fingers.

“I want to know you,” Carlos continues, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze. “I’m not saying I want to be a rebound, though there is the old Spanish saying un clavo saca otro clavo.”

TK gives him a curious look, not understanding the phrase.

“One nail drives out another nail,” Carlos explains. “Basically that the best way to get over a bad break-up is to find a new partner, but like I said I’m not interested in rebounding – “

TK lifts his other hand to touch Carlos’ cheek. “Carlos, I just met you, and I know you definitely wouldn’t be a rebound,” he tells him. The way he has reacted to Carlos all morning tells him that if he got together with him, he wouldn’t need to use him to soothe the ache inside, Carlos would eclipse any past and remaining feelings he might have for his EX. “You’d be so much more.”

Carlos lets out a soft exhale at his words. “So what do you say?” he asks, his face hopeful. “Movie? Get to know each other?”

TK smiles at him, his heart pounding hard under his ribcage with anticipation.

“A date when you’re ready?” he continues, a teasing smile on his face. “Maybe even a kiss at the end of the night if I’m really, really lucky?”

TK lets out a laugh, feeling happy in a way he hasn't for the longest. On impulse, he leans up, covering the small difference in their heights to brush his lips against Carlos in the lightest of kisses.

“I’d like that,” he whispers, proud of the stunned look on Carlos’ face. “Movies, getting to know each other, dating, more kisses, I’d like all of it.”

#911 lone star #tarlos fic #tarlos #911 lone star fic #30 days of tarlos #tk x carlos #my writing

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bearpillowmonster · 3 years

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Horizon Zero Dawn Review

The game that critics have been raving about for years and I just haven't played. I heard a lot of people say "this needs a movie" but they say that about any game that dares to be a little bit cinematic because I personally disagree.

That first part is rough, the story seems so in your face, predictable and bland but I think the problem is that it didn't know how to put in its exposition. I think it naturally builds up as it goes on, getting bigger and broader, it's just those first experiences that can be a slog because you're pretty much learning what style you're going to play in.

I got more or less everything I expected, crafting, a skill tree, various weapons. What I didn't expect though are dialogue options. You can choose normally up to four paths, an intelligent one, a compassionate one, and a straightforward one. You don't have to worry about the stress of trying to reach a specific ending because there's really only one, the only thing that affects it is the amount of people that are in it. So does that make the choices irrelevant? Yes and no because there are different dialogue options and like I said, which means that you can get certain characters to like you more given the option you choose but not in the same way that relationship points work and I definitely felt the draw to do that whenever I came across my first side-quest.

Side-quests are interesting, I love tracking things in games, though it's rare that you actually get the chance to do it and here you have a good amount of opportunities. Is that all though? Far from it. I actually found myself searching for side-quests because the first two were so satisfying. It really only began to show its hand a bit more after those quests. As I mentioned, there are a lot more RPG elements than I first imagined but it starts to send you on scavenger hunts, especially that Dreamwillow one, that one I actually laughed out loud at every time I was turned away. It also starts to gatekeep to where it recommends that you be a certain level which is...odd? I mean at face value it looks like you could rock basically any combat situation that isn't context sensitive. Leveling up gives you abilities but they're more like Deus Ex on that front, where it's just for preference and upgrading, not necessarily strength. The only thing you improve on offense wise basically boils down to having the right materials or units to buy weapons then a matter of finding modifications. Other than that, leveling up seems to just increase your health. It really just depends on the quest too because I'll play one above my level and be fine then play another that's actually under my level and feel stuck.

Now I only played it on normal mode so something like "Ultra Hard" is bound to be more demanding but as far as actual side quest content, I feel like they have potential but just need tweaked, give me more stuff for major characters that affects their standing with me. Rather than having each quest be contained in its own story, have it affect you later in the game, let your actions be shown, give it rewards and consequences. There are some really great side-quests but there are also some crappy ones, it doesn't pass that threshold that most RPGs fall under or anything. However, I did find myself doing side-quests at my own free will and the ones that I didn't like or couldn't do at the time, I just skipped and focused on something else, I felt a lot more freedom with this game, like I didn't feel forced to grind or do a certain number of side-quests or really do anything. It encourages you to explore and play the way you want to play and I respect the heck out of that. Maybe it's different for other players though.

Perhaps my favorite actual side thing was the Cauldrons for those who actually played this, you'll know why. For those who didn't, just know that it's cool and let it be a surprise for when you go to one. You might expect these big set-pieces and bosses like Uncharted or GoW, but it's not really like that. I genuinely think that this is more video-gamey than it lets on which certainly takes up its runtime. One addition to side-quests that I would like to see is one where you don't know it's happening. For example, in this game, you'll come across random hunters who are attacking or being attacked by machines but rather than just going on about your day and them going on about their's, I want to fight off the machine and the person say "You saved my life, my name's Jara, I live in the town nearby and want to repay you." so you go there and there's trouble so it starts up a side-quest. Now don't get me wrong, there are PLENTY of instances of people getting attacked actually being a mission but most of the time someone in town will just tell you "I haven't seen this person in a while, can you go check on them for me?" It's the art of subtlety and also just doing a good deed and getting rewarded for it. It's a conscious choice and split decision rather than just another checkmark on your list to complete.

Now I won't bother listing the characters and rating them but there's a certain aspect that has me really enthused So, Aloy is an outcast and a lot of these side missions and scenarios reflect her, you'll see the way she can relate with other characters, making it almost poetic in a subliminal kind of way. Then they add this tribal and futuristic setting to it where Aloy acts as the medium, there are parts of the game where she questions the tribe because they cut themselves off from technology and just don't know any better and we as a viewer know that but having the main character view things in 'our' lens is pretty genius. To top that off, they give her enough personality to be her own character while giving us enough power to influence her so that we ourselves can REFLECT WITH HER. It's not her character that I'm impressed with, it's the layout of the story.

So, how is the main story? It's kind of like the Flood scenario in Halo if I'm being honest. I'm not going to spoil anything but it's passable, like I said, it's not like an Uncharted and it's not like a movie. The visuals just look good at times (I took all the pictures in this review myself and so much more!). I'd call it a futuristic/tribal mix between Shadow of the Tomb Raider and Skyrim but I see elements of a lot of things. (Also since it's post apoctalypic, you find items that we see in modern day, like how they call keys, "chimes"! They think they're windchimes because there are no more cars! I love that!)

It actually does a pretty good job at being an open world considering that there are tons of things to do on your routes as well as collect but it's not so much so that it seems unfeasible, as I said, I found myself doing a good chunk of the side stuff just because it was fun to do and I'm not even close to a completionist for any game. If you mess up, healing plants will still be there. As long as you save, enemy parts will still be there. A place can be cleared out and conquered so that enemies don't come back. The actual towns are peaceful so you can't get mangled by any bots outside of scripted instances.

The graphics are pretty good but I can see some error here and there, nothing necessarily game breaking but the animations and AI are definitely janky at times. It's pretty obvious from the get-go but I'll do my best to specify and give constructive criticism on what I found wrong with certain aspects of the game. Rost is slow, like slower than walking speed but that's not to speak for all NPCs, some run, some you don't need to follow, it was really just him. I've had NPCs who fight but miss every single time on simple enemies (that might not be a bug, that might just be a funny bit that someone decided to add in). Sabretooths have jumped through walls (granted the walls were kinda broken but I'm not sure if those big boys can fit when they can barely find the entrance) I found myself jumping to a ledge or on a rope but not land it and just drop (it really boils down to loosening the hit box for that). Which to add on to that, I would like more places to climb and jump to in general (other than stupid mountains). I felt like there wasn't really enough that I could climb and the places that I could, could've been a bit more obvious that I could, maybe even make it viewable with your focus if you don't want it to be visually outstanding. There's a day and night cycle and while I like that, I found some of the contrast to be annoying because I could be staring a ladder right in the face and not even know it sometimes because it would be so dark. I'm not going to complain too much about it because I didn't turn my brightness up, I just left it at default and I would assume the PS5 version fixes some of those little things.

Now, this one is kind of a gray area: Hiking up mountains. Skyrim, Fallout, and Death Stranding went too far and gave little to no barriers. They had you looking for sweet spots that weren't there in order to cheese your way through an area either on or off a beaten path. But I would compare this to something like GTA where it's not as bad and does have its limits but might need tightened up some more because I can certainly get to places that lead to nowhere.

I've made headshots that don't make contact or damage while using precision. Part of that problem was that they could be high up in a tower (which have spikes sticking out) and I would hit ABOVE the logs, to make a headshot but since it was in that vicinity, it registered that as the spikes' hitbox so it wouldn't cause any damage and just alert the enemy (same if I was in the tower, looking down). Input lag where I hit up button on the D-Pad to regain health and I have to keep pressing it. If I had to guess, you have to meet the requirements of not taking damage, staying still, etc in order for it to actually work but it doesn't really have a reason to do that and it doesn't "tell" you that those are the requirements (as far as I know).

During the final boss, one of the enemies hit me into a rock wall, trapping me inside of it and the boss was already half health so I really didn't want to have to restart (I also didn't know how far back the checkpoint was) so I kept shooting stuff and eventually the boss destroyed the wall, allowing me to get out (timed section, by the way). There have been a few times where a tree or leaf or something is obstructing a cutscene and sometimes there will be a mech in the background screaming over the NPC talking, which I'm sure is due to the cutscenes being real-time which is still pretty impressive. Now are these errors all the time? No, not at all, I'm just pointing out that some times these things happened and that I felt it needed ironed out but I wouldn't call this half baked or an unfinished product or anything, it's nowhere near that level. I get that there are so many NPCs that it's hard to account for them all with facial animations but whenever they're talking, it seems pretty static and sometimes the lips don't line up. There's this one guy who says that he got lost in a sandstorm but he's standing in snow. Again, little nitpicks in an otherwise great game.

Now, I got this game for free as a Playstation promotion but that doesn't necessarily mean it'll be great, I played a little bit of that Ratchet & Clank reboot that was offered and I wasn't impressed, I quit after the first few worlds and was glad I didn't buy it at launch, (despite being a classic PS2 R&C fan) but we're not here to review that. I also played Abzu and loved it but it was short so it was definitely worth a play but maybe not 60$ (I actually think it's 20$ at this point though). With this game, it's the whole complete edition with DLC and everything, it has the length, so it really just boils down to "Would I have spent money on it otherwise?"

I think I would've if I knew more about it because I think it just got better and better after that first part of the game. It's marketed a bit differently than what I ended up getting but I found myself pouring hours into this game and loving it for one reason or another. I actually bought Shadow of the Colossus along with it (which is considered a cult classic) but I liked Horizon so much better, definitely worth its full price in my opinion. (So your promotion worked on me Sony, congrats) It has its problems but the potential is there and I feel like a sequel would probably iron out a lot of my troubles with it, so it's definitely a franchise worth investing into.

If you're interested in what I thought of the DLC alone (if you didn't get the Ultimate edition and are wondering if the extra content is worth it) I have a separate post that goes into that here.

#hzd #horizon zero dawn #review #game #4/5

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honestgrins · 4 years

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Resonant || Klaroline

Inspired by the world of Onward, where technology edged magic out of daily existence because all creatures learned to adapt to a new life. Caroline might have taken the DNA test, but she doesn’t take her magical origins nearly as seriously as some people. Klaus, however, takes his birthright and the power it lends very, very seriously - but why would he kidnap an elf?

"I don't know what you want from me," Caroline snarled, her wrists raw from fighting her bonds. "But I do know this is not the way to go about it." The chair was cold through the thin silk of her dress, an excellent dress her date so didn't deserve. "Seriously, let me go, Nik. This isn't funny."

He pulled another chair from the edge of the cell where she awoke, tied up and confused. Twirling it before her, he straddled the seat to rest his arms on the back as he watched her with a gleeful smile. "Perhaps, now is the time to tell you my name isn't Nik. Not technically."

The laugh she let out was harsh. "Surprise, the guy who drugged me during dinner isn't who he said he was. I don't give a fuck, let me go."

"No, I think I'll keep you," he answered, amusement all too clear in his voice. "That is, unless you can free yourself. Then, I'm willing to negotiate terms."

She gave another jerk against her ties, but the metal cord obviously held. "How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

Smirking, Not Technically Nik traced his bottom lip with his thumb. "I trust you'll figure it out. Until then, let me introduce myself. Niklaus Mikaelson, at your service."

"Really crappy service," she spat, only quailing when her brain caught up with the bomb he just dropped. Horror dawned on her slowly as she saw him watching her with great interest. Not only had she been kidnapped - she'd been kidnapped by the Original Hybrid out to set a new world order.

Magic had always been an accepted part of the world. Gnomes, elves, wizards, and so much more, everyone had their origins and lived as they chose. Specialized knowledge was shared through the generations, lovingly passed down to children and nurtured the necessary skills as they grew. Little ones were taught all the lore for such a world of wonder.

And then, the advancement of technology caught up. Wings were traded for sensible, mid-size sedans, and sorcery gave way to invention. The world became connected in a way it never was before, and all creatures adapted to new common goals until magic eased itself out of existence. Lore was still taught, mostly, though some stories had been forgotten, lost to time as populations mingled. The knowledge was generalized, until schools only taught the big points, nuance and details only so important as they appeared on standardized tests.

So, magic existed - at one point. The last vestiges only remained among those who trained in the skills their ancestors once held as a sacred practice. All creatures could be dangerous if they chose to be, and most people had a wide range of lineages to choose from in their quest for some ancient power. Bonnie had bought Caroline one of those DNA tests the year before; she presented and lived as an elf her whole life, it was kind of a kick to learn she was three percent centaur. "Maybe that's why I had a horse phase growing up," she had joked.

But Klaus Mikaelson was staring at her with greed, and she didn't think it had to do with a penchant for pony tails and killer legs.

The news was always talking about the underground revolution inspired by the Original Hybrid. Rumor had it he was cursed by a witch, his werewolf genes bound and useless. He was left to fend for himself when a rogue vampire attacked him. They were drawn to the healing arts, their need for fresh blood often a handy currency for those with terrible or no insurance. But when they were hungry, it could get ugly. For Klaus, though, the turn was particularly traumatic. Finding the witch who cursed him, he killed her to release his werewolf side, which allowed him to become something entirely new and untested in the world.

That last half was confirmed, Klaus himself having spread the story far and wide as his many surrogates tried to recruit new blood to his cause - to return to the natural state of magic until the world respected all species for the danger they posed. Caroline thought it was a resistance-flavored attempt at elitist elimination of diverse families, and she usually turned the TV off whenever some outlet dared to grant the monster some legitimacy and a chance to reach new ears. If she'd waited a bit longer, she might have recognized his face when he showed up on her dating app.

She'd been so excited for this date. He was charming and funny, a little acerbic, but she liked that mixed into her banter. He seemed like the perfect guy for her, passionate about his art. If only she'd known he was passionate about magical dominion over the entire world, then she might have tempered her expectations.

As he watched her every expression, though, she wondered why he went to such trouble. There was no need to sit through an entire dinner with her, to flirt with her and make her feel seen. It had been going really well, yet he had to have slipped her something for her to wake up in an actual dungeon. Who had a dungeon?

Biting her lip, there were too many other things that didn't make sense. From what she had gleaned over the years his little movement had been actively acknowledged, Klaus went after powerful species. Giants, trolls, wizards he could win over to his way of thinking. She was an elf, with some siren, nymph, and a negligible bit of centaur in her line.

"What the fuck do you want with me?"

His head tilted to the side, that insufferable smirk only widening the longer it took him to answer. Her irritation grew until she tried to shake the metal ties again, and he narrowed his eyes with something like pity. "You truly don't know, do you?"

Caroline didn't want to give him the satisfaction of asking, but it wasn't like she was getting out of this nonsense by herself. "I know you're nuts and I'm filing a restraining order once I get out of here."

"Have you never wondered what magic might be bubbling under your skin," he question softly, his eyes lingering over the red welts on her wrists, "just begging to be released?"

"I took a DNA test," she bit back with a sharp grin, "turns out I'm a hundred percent that bitch who wants nothing to do with you or your little power trip. You don't want me, and I sure as hell don't want you."

Klaus propped his chin on his hand, chuckling. "I thought dinner was going pretty well, actually."

"You made a good impression," she admitted. "I'm a fast learner, though. Besides, don't you recruit big strong fighters to serve as cannon fodder for your worst ideas?"

With a casual shrug, he seemed annoying unperturbed by her accusations. "We all have our strengths. I'm most interested in discovering yours, however." His voice lowered, almost seductive as he leaned toward her. "Escape your bindings, sweetheart. I know you can."

She refused to ask how, not that she particularly wanted to pass his twisted test. But, she did want to escape. "I've never shown an aptitude for magic, ever. My best friend is a witch, and she would have noticed."

"No one noticed." He was watching her steadily, pleased she appeared to play along. "I wouldn't have if I hadn't gotten ahold of your results from the ancestry testing database."

"Stalker!"

His lips curled upward. "Not just yours, mind, I have a talented mole on staff there to keep me abreast of any...abnormalities in gene reports."

Blinking, Caroline tried to remember what that stupid app had told her. "Th-there was an eight percent unknown strain," she recalled. "But that's normal. 'Within the accepted range for interpretation,' is what I think it said. Too many species and generations to clearly delineate."

"I don't care for percentages," Klaus said. "Percentages mean nothing. It's about what resonates throughout your very being, whether it be the lion's share or a single thread. According to your genetic code, you have a very, very rare thread that I think resonates within you. And I think you can call it forth to escape those bindings."

Her heart was pounding. "What are you talking about?"

He stood, moving toward her to gently lift the pendant from the hollow of her neck. "This is very pretty, just like you," he flirted. "Have you never wondered why you favor gold jewelry?"

"It suits my coloring. What does my personal style have to do with anything?"

"Or why you can't help but soak in the sun at every chance you get? Your profile pictures are all outside, often lounging next to a pool."

"Hi, it's an excuse to post a bikini pic!"

Klaus smiled knowingly. "You tend to latch onto your friends, loathe to share them with others. Bonnie, was it? The friend who called halfway through our dinner? You're awfully possessive of her, aren't you?"

Anger welled within her, a boiling rage she'd never quite felt before and had no idea what to do with.

Of course, he just kept smiling. "It'd be a shame if something were to happen to this Bonnie, should you not be able to escape."

Her hands balled into tight fists and her breathing grew heavy. "Don't threaten my friends."

"Your friends," he asked, taking a tighter hold of her necklace as his fangs finally slid out to show just how dangerous he was, "or your hoard?" Then, he ripped her necklace off.

And all hell broke loose.

#klaroline #kcauweek2020 #drugged #kidnapping #day 2 #sci-fi/fantasy #fic: resonant #captive audience

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erin-epica · 4 years

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Woop-de-doo, it's Lord Scarlet stuff part 2

This was a post I planned on making WAY sooner, but I accidentally lost the original draft so I didn't even bother to try doing it gain until recently. And just now something happened that changed everything; and I mean what both DID and DIDN'T automatically give me the right to post this. I almost deleted my first post at that, and here's why:

In the first post, I mentioned that when I initially found out Vic was lying to me, I was quiet about it and just stopped talking to her out of fear, and then when I asked for help on what to do I was told to leave without a word. I don't think that was entirely the right thing to do in the long run, because it may have been the easiest way out but I'm better off with proper closure.

And the thoughts she left me scarred with never left my head. Time and time again, I'd find myself crying myself to sleep again at the thought of Brock forced to hide romantic feelings for Master Frown and not know who he was anymore while Frown was left unaware and in love with someone else, even if it wasn't Lord Scarlet.

And the pain sometimes came with a want to confront Vic one last time and open up to her about how I wasn't blind anymore, and how much she really hurt me. But I, again, wass scared she wouldn't care and would cut me off.

So when the pain got worse, I did what any coward would do: tell everyone else about my pain.

Now I DID tell friends of mine other than the Unikitty Amino staff about what happened, and they were all sympathetic and understanding about it. But then I told almost everyone, and then made my vent post on here (as well as Wattpad). As much as I wouldn't want to call them call out posts, they might as well have been. I didn't want people to harass Vic and make her mad...but at the same time I kinda did. I was too scared to face her that I was hoping that someone would do it for me. I even tagged accounts of Vic's. Not cool of me at all.

Now the Tumblr and Wattpad posts got me pretty much more of the same: sympathy, and acceptance that I had moved on. No one came after Vic but we could still agree that none of her actions were justified (I even got @careeningle's attention...sorry about the aneurysm)

Now comes the next important thing that happened, because I mentioned @friffinx kinda being responsible for me getting back to the Lord Scarlet Amino to write the message that I did. In it, I said that after I sent the message I did I would leave the Amino again & for good.

Well...I lied. I still checked in every day for the same reason I started venting: I kinda wanted Vic to see my message. Even if she'd ban me, I wanted to see if she'd ever notice my message. And that would've been the end of it if it wasn't for Brook.

I briefly mentioned Brook in the last post. She was another OC of Vic's, and was exactly to Brock what Lord Scarlet was to Master Frown; a carbon copy love interest. Except Lord Scarlet was far more developed and drawn & written about more. Brook didn't even really have a distinct personality, she was a girl Brock and that was it. But with reptilian overlord eyes. (To be fair, Vic drew Brock like that sometimes too)

(I didn't include Vic's art unless it was in chat bgs or whatever in the last post, but for the sake of referencing/proving a point, this is what Brook looks like)

No one really paid attention to her for the longest time. She was there in the fanfics because according to Vic, "Scarlet needed a friend." And like I said in the first post, Brook wasn't said to be canon so I never found a reason to really care for her. Plus I can only recall someone giving Vic fanart with her, and it was with Scarlet (@plastic-papercuts made it, go follow her she's gr8).

But then one day, for some reason, something in me clicked. I actually thought of a story idea for her. Somehow this bland cutout of a character had potential in my eyes, and I weirdly started liking her because of it. She suddenly felt...more real. I got pretty invested in my idea and newfound interpretation of Brook, and describing it would make this post way longer than it is so if anyone asks about it, I'll probably make a whole other post about it.

Anyway, I came up with a little plan: draw out this idea in the form of a comic and post it to the Lord Scarlet Amino. And see if Vic gets suspicious and checks out my profile and then maybe bans me. It felt a bit better than total silence and she'd probably see that someone gave a crap about Brook after all.

So I started a new chat called "It's Brook" to share my progress with the other members of the Amino, which there weren't too many of but we had fun in it. It was basically me, @friffinx , @soapycocacola, @plastic-papercuts, and a few others who aren't on Tumblr (or at least don't think are) chatting about how awful Vic was and calling out her lazy art tactics like tracing and using assets/clips right from the show. And of course me sharing the comic progress I was making. Again, this doesn't make anything we did right but it felt good getting everything off our chests. We were like a secret rebellion against an absentee dictator. One time Vic came online as we were chatting and even viewed my profile, but nothing happened. And it stayed that way until I opened Amino up one morning. For those of you who don't have it, the menu shows all the communities you're in when you open the app, and all of mine were there except for the Lord Scarlet Amino. I assumed I must've been banned overnight. But I wasn't banned from Vic's other Amino so I commented on her wall on that one. For Vic's sake, I won't show how the conversation went (and I'll explain why at the end) but here's how it went:

Me: Did you ban me from the LS Amino?

Her: There was drama in one of the chat rooms and I'm not having it. I didn't want to do it and it's not a big deal It's just an amino and you're still on this one AM I RIGHT?

Me: Yes, but I assume you read my updated bio. As I hoped you would.

Her: Nope.

Me: Oh. But you know what? Ban me from here too for all I care, I feel like you deserve to know why I left and came back: *insert me finally telling her how I know she lied, that she hurt me, and what I did was wrong here*

Her: Lol ok be that person but keep in mind that I'm one of those people that doesn't gibe a fuck lol

And then she banned me from that Amino too before I could type and submit a fitting farewell reply.

At least I finally got all the built-up emotional pain out of me, but it did help me realize something important: we never really were friends. I wanted more of her content despite all her red flags as a person so I tried enduring them, thinking it'd be worth it, and she only kinda cared about me when I was being a yes man. She never kept any promises and didn't respect me the same way I did her. So I could at least feel confident knowing she most likely didn't care at all when I first left.

@friffinx and the others didn't get banned, though, and Friff even started another chat on the LS Amino called "It's Brook 2" where they talked more about Vic being a terrible person. And it didn't take long for her to shut that chat down too and ban everyone from it that time. Friff sent me screenshots of what happened next (which again, I'm not gonna show), where Vic basically had a meltdown. She changed her username to "Little Miss Guillotine", and made a post about her being "finished with the bushit". In it, she announced that she didn't even like Unikitty! anymore but was still gonna keep/use Lord Scarlet because she wanted to. The part that made my blood almost boil wasn't her views on the show, she's free to have her opinion and I couldn't care less about it. What DID was that she acknowledged that she lied the whole time because "she didn't care anymore" and said that it was "our faults for believing it in the first place" and that "we needed to grow up"/"stop brining it up"

Ooooh boy, victim blaming, my favortie...

Since then she changed the Lord Scarlet Amino's theme to make it about The Penguins of Madagacar (again, fine with me). Either way she was still a narcissist and I thought she'd, sadly, likely never change. And my friends and I all thought that was the end of it.

Until a few hours ago...

I was browsing the Unikitty Amino and saw a new member named BlueCat. Didn't think anything else of it until the user PMed me. And this is what happened:

I didn't know what to think other than "I thought this day would never come", I was that shaken. This was so left field-ish that what else could I do but believe her? It didn't even seem suspicious or like she was trying to be a suck up, that wasn't Vic at all.

But the one thing I knew I had to do was ban her because even if she meant well and did it for the right(?) reasons, but I still asked if I should in the staff chat. @girly-glorious (also amazing so pls check her out :D) told me that yes, it was ban evasion so since I'm a leader too now I could to it on my own. But I knew I had to message Vic first and Girly told me to be careful, so this is what I sent:

And then I banned her, the end (not really)

Now I don't understand how or why this sudden behavior change happened but I don't know if I should question it in case it's personal. But again, I at least want to believe that she's really being genuine and had a change of heart because never in a million years could I imagine her being this mature. Again, she didn't demand that I forgive me or probably even expect me to. But the message still does leave me feeling sorry for her.

Now I thought that was the real end of it until I see the Penguins of Madagascar/old Lord Scarlet Amino on my sideboard.

She unbanned me.

Now I don't know where we'll go from here, if anywhere. I'm not too sure if I can really let my guard down around someone who hurt me so badly just in case she does it again. So I may not talk to her again, but if she really asks something from me, I might try and build up courage to ask her more about how she came to apologizing to me. Plus she followed me on Wattpad too.

But this is why I didn't show our conversation right before my ban or her "f.u." posts. Because I don't want people seeing more of Vic's past behavior and possibly embarrassing her about it if she ever sees this. But that's kinda why I felt like it was 100% necessary to finally make a sequel post in the end; I'm hoping people at least acknowledge Vic has changed and don't keep thinking about based on what I shared out of attempts to gain sympathy like a crybaby.

So before I go: PLEASE, DON'T GO AFTER OR HARASS VIC. I KNOW YOU PROBABLY WON'T, BUT THIS IS SERIOUS. ALL THE PROBLEMATIC LORD SCARLET DRAMA IS STUFF OF THE PAST AND NEITHER OF US WANT TO KEEP LOOKING BACK ON IT.

I hope this helps whoever's reading as much as it did me.

#unikitty #unikitty!#master frown #brock #lord Scarlet #brook #vic #vicslayer #scream queen savage #Victoria #update #amino

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hellzyeahwebwielingessays · 4 years

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Did Peter love MJ more than Gwen in the 1970s?

I’ve debated with myself if Peter grew to love MJ more than Gwen in the 1970s Conway run or not. I maintain he did.

The arguments against this idea boil down to:

He’d dated Gwen for far longer than MJ by the end of the Conway run

These pages from ASM #149, featuring Gwen’s clone (the first of many)

As you can see Peter initially seems to be suggesting that he and Gwen might be able to work something out before she hushes him up. And of course he’s moved to tears by this.

Later he refers to Gwen as someone he needs but knows he shouldn’t be with.

So here is my attempt to lay things to rest.

I think Peter ultimately did come to love MJ more than Gwen in Conway’s initial run.

Let me dispense with the initial counterpoint first.

It is entirely possible for someone to fall in love and then fall in love with someone else even more within a shorter space of time. It depends upon the circumstances. It’s certainly not the case that if MJ died tomorrow Peter would be falling in love with someone within the consequent years or anything.

But the key difference is time and the depth of the connection.

With Gwen and Peter, we all know how ultimately not great they were for one another.

Peter himself might not have recognized this, and it didn’t mean he wasn’t in love with Gwen sincerely. But it was there nevertheless.

We should also consider the amount of time they spent together.

Peter met Gwen at the start of his college career in ASM #31. He graduated after a four year degree in ASM #185

Gwen died in ASM #121, and her clone showed up in ASM #144. This was stated to have been 2 years after Gwen’s death.

This means that ASM #31-121 and ASM #144-185 collectively must equate to 2 years. Whilst the former time period was longer than the latter it still meant that Peter knew Gwen for less than two years. Bear in mind, that’s not him dating her for less than 2 years or having serious feelings for her. It’s just the time between when they met and when she died. Initially they weren’t even friendly towards one another until ASM #39 and only gradually started hanging out in the same social circle a little while after that. It took yet more time for them to have their first date and yet longer to realise they were in love.

So really we aren’t talking about as massive a time period as it might seem initially. He had 2 years to get over her, which was much longer than the time they were together and in love. Admittedly though he and MJ weren’t together for most of those 2 years.

Their romance blossomed fairly naturally, by which I mean it wasn’t aided by any extenuating circumstances, not really anyway.

In contrast Gwen’s death was the catalyst for Peter and MJ’s romance. At a time when both were emotionally vulnerable (especially Peter) they forged a connection. A connection under these circumstances is extremely likely to be potent and from Peter’s POV MJ was in a sense saving his life. He says as much in ASM #137 and much later in Web #125

Saving his life is something Gwen definitely didn’t do and would endear Peter to MJ for sure.

And let’s be real here, MJ is simply a better match for Peter than Gwen was. Nostalgia goggles aside, Gwen wasn’t able to connect with Peter as thoroughly as MJ was and their romance had far more turbulence than Peter and MJ’s had in Conway’s run; not that it was turbulence free of course.

So Peter is with a woman who’s really been there for him when he was vulnerable, who’s saved him (and for a guy who saves other people, that would mean a lot) and who’s a better match for him too.

In ASM #141, these factors lead him to question if anyone could replace Gwen in his heart.

Given how Conway was telling an extended mega-arc this isn’t a rhetorical question. The metatext of this moment is throwing the readers the question of whether Mary Jane could replace Gwen in both the narrative and in Peter’s heart.

ASM #142 develops this question further as Peter sees Gwen’s clone briefly in the crowd and runs after he believing her to be the real Gwen.

Those old feelings were still there. Peter still wanted Gwen at that point.

When they shared their kiss in ASm #143 they realised they were in love with one another.

This was when Gwen’s clone showed up and Peter was in the middle of an emotional tug of war between his old feelings for Gwen and his new ones for MJ. This is first alluded to in ASm #145 when Gwen’s clone tearfully embraces Peter, imploring him to help her. However, his eyes lock with MJ’s, a look of concern shared between them.

The implication is clearly that Peter is torn. The dynamic has flipped because now it’s MJ he wants.

This is corroborated in ASM #146 when Gwen’s clone kisses Peter. She is treating the situation as though nothing has changed, that she and Peter are still in love. He doesn’t kiss her back though prompting her to ask if he still loves her. He doesn’t have an easy answer sending her into tears and him into frustration.

Peter straight up vocalizes his situation. He is no longer sure if he’s in love with Gwen (9/10 if you ain’t sure you are in love, you ain’t) and this is specifically because of Mary Jane’s presence in his life. He elaborates that he should be rejoicing that miraculously the woman he’ll always love is back, and yet he feels like he wants to die.

In ASM #147 Peter learns that the living Gwen is just a clone. This realization combined with his pre-existing turmoil pushes Peter a wee bit over the deepend. His dialogue conveys that he’d prefer Gwen to have remained dead and in essence regards these clones as functionally the same. They aren’t the original Gwen but to him they are Gwen.

Let’s put aside how his feelings for Gwen are taking him to an unhealthy place, which doesn’t help her case.

The art and dialogue convey Spidey admitting he loves Gwen and always will but when the image of Gwen approaches him he clearly wants her to get away. He doesn’t want her there.

I will grant you, this moment might not specifically highlight that Peter is rejecting Gwen because of MJ. It might just be that he doesn’t want to relive losing her over and over. But within the grander narrative and the ‘question’ Conway set up it is at least food for thought in support of MJ.

In ASM #148 an exhausted and battle weary Peter is too out of it to really take in the presence of MJ on his door step. When he realises he’s shut the door on her he hastily reopens it and tries to reach her, but fails. Clearly he wanted to see and talk to her. When he hears the doorbell later he leaps out of the bath and excitedly opens it hoping it was MJ. Again, he is happy at the prospect of seeing MJ, and yet seeing Gwen makes him sad.

Finally we come to ASM #149. Upon heading for his big showdown with the Jackal Peter has some very telling dialogue.

He wanted to see MJ alone. Gwen’s reappreance has confused him about what’s important to him.

But he isn’t confused anymore.

He knows who is important to him now.

The context of the scene, the consequent issues and Peter’s actions on the top pages from ASM #149 make the truth abundantly clear.

MJ is who is important to him, and he’s referring to her importance in contrast to Gwen.

I.e. Mary Jane is more important to him than Gwen is. This is Conway answering the question he set up issues earlier.

The final pages (which I posted at the very top) hammer this point home yet further.

What’s noticeable about these pages is that, whilst Gwen’s clone distinguishes herself from the original, it’s not clear if Peter does. Out loud and internally his dialogue refers to the clone as ‘Gwen’ and later he even refers to the clone’s departure as ‘losing Gwen twice’. This confirms that from Peter’s POV he was treating Gwen’s clone as though she was the real thing. Later in Spec Annual 1988 Conway revisits Gwen’s clone and again confirms that Peter regards her as functionally the same as Gwen. It is only after a moment of deep realization that he comes to think otherwise.

So there is no denying things here. The resolution to Peter’s feelings in Conway’s initial 1970s run weren’t contingent upon Gwen being a clone. Peter was choosing MJ as more important over Gwen, clone or not. As his dialogue conveys, he wanted her to go.

ASM #150 reaffirms this point by having Peter declare MJ as the one he cares for.

The one he cares for, even outside of the wider context, implies he cares for her above everyone else. So he cares/loves MJ more than Gwen!

Further food for thought is added by the fact that this realization then leads to him further realizing that he’s not thinking about Gwen in his dying moments. There is no indecision in his mind, it’s MJ all the way.

I think I’ve proven my case but let’s shoot down some counterpoints anyway.

Why was Peter crying when Gwen left?

Because, as he said, it was painful to lose her again, even though it was what he wanted.

Contrary to what his dialogue in ASM #145 potentially implied, Peter was never out of love with Gwen. His feelings were uncertain, he was confused and torn and needed to part the clouds within his mind and heart. It’s why as the arc progressed his dialogue gradually affirmed his love for Gwen. He head just grown to love MJ more.

Why did he say he and Gwen needed each other?

The real life answer is that Conway dropped the ball a little. Peter clearly doesn’t need Gwen as he was doing fine before he knew her and was able to go on successfully without her. And he was planning on living his life without her even though she was alive.

In a sense the word need was just a bad word choice. Had he said love it would’ve made more sense. ‘Need’ implies Peter and Gwen were a necessary presence in one another’s lives, but her presence was having a harmful effect upon Peter’s mental and emotional health. He recognized he was better before she reappeared and wanted her to leave.

His dialogue about how they can need one another but still know they shouldn’t have one another kind of highlights the poor word choice. If they now they shouldn’t have one another that fundamentally goes against the idea that they need each other now doesn’t it.

Basically, Peter wasn’t thinking clearly or had a tiny brainfart with his word choice.

Wasn’t Peter going to suggest they stay together before Gwen cut him off?

Technically we have no clue what he was going to say. But if we presumed that to be the case, this is still a highly emotional moment for Peter and he feels a certain sense of loyalty and duty to Gwen.

He wants to do the right thing because he’s all about responsibility. Gwen kind of all alone in the world so it’s possible he felt it was right for him to help her, maybe stay with her out of loyalty.

But more likely he was going to suggest she stick around and they remain friends or something. He had clearly made up his mind by that point and wanted MJ.

Couldn’t this arc just prove Peter grew to love MJ equally, not more than Gwen?Couldn’t Peter have just wanted to move on from Gwen, not that he loved MJ more?

No.

Because again, he regarded the clone as the bona fide article and was working on accepting her return.

He could have been with her had he wanted. She could have been the one he cared for. She could have been the person important to him. But he wanted her gone. He wanted MJ even though he did still love Gwen.

So it wasn’t just about moving on. He was handed a miracle, but it was a miracle he didn’t want because he loved another and wanted them instead.

#Spider-Man #Peter Parker #Gwen Stacy #Gerry Conway #mjwatsonedit #mary jane watson #Mary Jane Watson Parker #MJ Watson #Clone Saga

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woodpengu · 3 years

Text

Artistic Advice and How to Draw Tip:

What to draw when you want to draw but don't know what to draw. (a confuzzling query, but worth re-reading a few times to understand; also, a longer post not strictly applied to drawing, but all forms of creativity)

My brain is wired for creativity, but it's also vulnerable to interference. I get the urge to create something as often as I breathe, then the pencil touches the paper and my mind goes blank. Oh, the woes of the dreaded affliction known as... "Art Block" *dun dun DUUUUUN*!!!! All too familiar, ain't it.

There's tons of videos and articles offering tips and tricks and all sorts of things to "overcome art block", "unblock art block", "how to deal with art block", all by artists who are well intentioned and are sharing what works for them, but maybe don't quite understand why this happens in the first place. Some tips were handy, some were brilliant, but most didn't quite do it, and I knew it was because I didn't understand WHY I had this problem. Someone like me likes to open up the machine and pick it apart to see how it works or why it's not doing so hot. So, I self-analyzed, (because I do that) and I found that the art blocks were actually (for me) invasive thoughts.

See... we human beans are superior to other organisms for having more (what's known as) "gray matter" to our brains, which allows for logic, reasoning, introspection, reflection, and (in a way) conscious memory that goes FAR beyond that uber cool intrinsic reaction known as muscle memory. It can also be our greatest downfall, where we end up over-reasoning things and condition ourselves to believe what works for one human works for all humans (mixing up our 'community-oriented' programming a bit). We're also wired with this innate competitiveness that drives us to "Be the best version of that socially acceptable/celebrated quality". And while we're at it, let's mix in that one goal that's persisted in all life since the beginning of time: constantly seeking perfection. What a mess.

Seems more like an integrated "Biology and Psychology" talk than a "How to Draw" tip... because it is. See, a human is more than the special skills or abilities they have. You are a bundle of nerves and tissues and other organic matter with this powerful, almost-esoteric (still unexplainable by scientific measurements) drive to form ideas and apply them while growing and developing the four pillars of your existence (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual). That by itself is A LOT for this individual entity that is you to keep up with. Add in all the conditioning, wiring, nurturing, stress, variables, etc... and the system is guaranteed to fritz.

Anywhoodles. What does all this have to do with "art block"? Well, having at least a little understanding about why things can happen can offer better clues with how to approach an issue. And as an entire blob of wiring deemed inefficient in a neurotypical social structure, blocks to my creativity are frequent and can boil down to a lot of different reasons, each reason perhaps having a different solution. So, it's important for me to identify where the art block comes from before taking shots in the dark about how to deal with it.

Is it a condition of the mind or body flaring to blinding life? Is there too much stress to make a cohesive decision? Do I have too much on my internal table to focus on creative endeavors? Am I just so plain bored that I'm grasping at straws and the sketchbook was a desperate grab for something, anything to force my brain to make up its mind? Is the "perfection bug" sinking its grimy nubbins into my noggin and sucking out my confidence? Did the dish run away with my spoons? Am I hyper-focusing on fiscal profit over the joyful fulfillment of beauteous works of art (not every hobby needs to be a hustle, mon amie)? And these are just the possibilities coming to mind within a minute.

The ultimate point I would like to sink home for all of you that have read this far into this gargantuan post is: the block to your creativity is more than just a blanking of the mind. It's worth it to get to know your own wiring, and to show yourself some kindness, gentleness, patience, and gratitude when you run into that dreadful wall. Sometimes that wall comes up as the only way my brain can communicate that I will legitimately hurt myself if I push, and that invasive thought is the pause I need to realize: "Maybe I should ground out or meditate so the ideas and creativity can flow more freely." Art block can be an inconvenience, but it can also be a new perspective and a means of self-understanding and self-awareness. So, the next time you sit down with your tools and the drive to use them but no ideas... take a breath and ask yourself "Hey, boo, what's got us blocked?"

#arttips #tipsandtricks #patience #artblock

#art tips #artistic advice #creative advice #art block #dealing with art block #art block is often a mental health issue #artist #creative #creativity #overcoming art block #self help #self analysis #I write novels not greeting cards #self talk

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fatebreaking-a · 4 years

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☀️

I like how this is literally indecipherable on desktop, so I had to go onto my phone (where it was still indecipherable) and then open it in safari to figure out which one this was.

☀ What’s your rp pet peeve?

It’s this one and not the other one right above it that also looks like a sun.

Emoticons, man.

Well, that was fun and all but- rp pet peeves. Stuff under the cut. Pour one out for the entire community, because I’m about to take a pound of flesh from everyone.

There’s a lot of stuff in here that boils down to just being a good writing partner and all that, trying to advance the action in a natural way, and so on… and I think a lot of it can boil down to either a lack of awareness or a lack of experience. People get better at writing by writing, so I find it hard to really be frustrated and stay frustrated by someone who falls into some of these pitfalls. So you’ll notice I don’t really target things that have to do with writing skill as much as I target ‘attitude’ and ‘conscientiousness’. There is a lot that bothers me though, so here’s a short list.

Criticizing the way other people have fun. This is a big one. What this boils down to is conversations about how “this ship isn’t realistic” or “your ideals on writing are dumb” or “you take writing too seriously/not seriously enough.” I’ve seen all of these. And I used to know someone on a forum-based RP site that would actively go out of her way to criticize that people would include a lot of introspection in scenes that were fast paced. For instance, using poetic language, or talking about how they’re feeling, what the situation was, “he felt like he was up against the tide, that his heart was being torn in two, a cut made deeper with every clash of their blades” - stuff like that. She hated it. And she made sure everyone knew that she did not approve of how much they were writing, because it was ‘not realistic’. And yes, there is definite merit to the claim that people do not have time to introspect about their entire lives and their relationship to their allies and enemies between sword swings... But so what. I don’t think it’s wrong to advocate for shorter, simpler posts with less descriptive text, and to manage in 200 words instead of 600. That’s great. Simplicity has value, being concise is great, ‘brevity is the soul of wit’, whatever. But the problem, the problem was that she would criticize others for writing in a way that they enjoyed. No one got on her case for writing less, but she was so grating on this point that eventually people just did not want to be around her.

It was something I’ve experienced even here. Finding the balance between “writing to improve your ability to write” and “writing just to have fun” are two separate matters. People forget that individuals exist from both camps, and I have known people (multiple) who say ‘this is important to me, I’m growing my skills using RP as a medium’ but fail to empathize and recognize that not everyone has the same viewpoint. Caring about things that make you feel something over technically good and well executed writing does not make you a problem.

And as a big follow up, I find that this is a big issue in life in general. I think that people often forget how much time it took them to learn a certain thing, recognize their own investment, or recognize the disparity between their own idea of ‘common knowledge’ vs actually common knowledge. When I joined the community, I did not know what private, selective, independent, mun, muse, or mutuals meant. For someone who’s brand new, these are terms that can be hard to decipher. And it’s the similar with ships - I think that people forget that not everyone who comes to RP is from a writing background. Some of them may just have enjoyed reading fanfiction, or may have enjoyed their favorite bot lane duo, or they have a main and their partner has a main and they like the aesthetic. So long as it’s not inherently problematic (incest, pedophilia), it’s cruel to degrade someone and call everything that doesn’t make perfect sense a ‘crackship’. Fanart also has a big role to play in this. Do I personally like Sona with Ka/yn, Yas, Sy/las, Jh/in, or Dra/ven? No, I don’t. I don’t, but equally, it’s not right for me to get in someone’s face for liking it. If you love MF/Sona because it’s a fuckin’ sick classic wombo combo bot lane... that’s cool, more power to you. I wish people would ease up and remember to just let people have their fun. There’s a Jh/in that follows me, who politely asked if I shipped it and I said no, and then there was no hard feelings at all. And that is ideal for me. Really.

T h e f t.

And being ultra conscious of it. I am in a very unfortunate circumstance that many of my Sona hcs are very similar to another blog in the space. I found that out by accident, and we reached similar (but also different!) conclusions. But now I am terribly terrified of ever speaking to them, because gods above I want to lift all my duplicates into the air, kiss them, and scream about them... but I don’t want anyone to feel anxious that I’m copying them. It’s also why until about a week ago, I only followed one other Sona blog ever - written by one of my very, very close friends. I never want people to feel like I’m stealing from them, but I also want my duplicates to feel comfortable on my blog! I want them to feel okay about reblogging art of their characters if they like it or talking to me about things... And I’ve put in a lot of effort to be very divergent with my portrayals, but I still ended up in this situation. I won’t name names ( and I really hope that no one bothers that other Sona, because she’s a genuine sweetheart and deserves love and appreciation ), b ut... This is a big issue for me.

And it’s exacerbated by the fact that some people are lazy as fuck and actually just straight up steal ideas. It’s not ‘inspired by’, which I usually take care to do, giving proper credits or speaking about where I got information from or from whom or that it is on some level almost collaborative (because this is a collaborative space where we interact with each other, but that’s another topic). But I mean some people just recklessly steal and because we all have anxiety (TM), the line between coincidence, inspiration, and theft blurs. Understand that on some level, plagarism is an ethical dilemma, and I exist in the camp that says “hey man that’s cool come talk to me” - but I can exist in that camp because I insist on a very divergent interpretation that is almost ‘theft-proof’. I do not think any other Sona blog will ever have this combination of headcanons: “is a construct inspired by a house spirit, made up of one part crashed titan goddess, three parts demons, and each demon is represented by one of the strings of the instrument, which by the way shattered because bad reasons”. But if you’re not me, it’s hard to... stay loose about it.

And it’s hard to not get jealous.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE. Alright I wrote down a list when I actually got this ask, so let’s run off that. ( Yuki, you fuck, you’re not done? Fuck no I’m not done. ) These next ones are big for me.

MISREPRESENTING YOUR WANTS / YOURSELF

what does that mean, you ask me. It means this. It means pretending to be interested in ideas or interactions, even if you’re not interested. I do not ever want to be in the situation where I am happily chugging along, talking about a dynamic, and then find out that the other person isn’t as interested.

It’s fine to be mellow about it dude. I would rather know that you’re like... just okay on it all. I don’t want you to be polite and ‘spare my feelings’ and force yourself.

I want you to have fun. Have fun. God just have fun, you know? Please. There are a ton of interactions I’m “just okay” with, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I can be just okay with stuff and it’s fine. Not everything needs to click instantly but like...

Only showing interest to appeal to me or spare my feelings kinda sucks. It doesn’t last forever. It feels really bad. And eventually when things fall apart, it feels even worse. Like oh you really just did not care that much. Or you didn’t enjoy writing with me? Or what is it? See: jealousy/anxiety. Just be honest.

I think you especially have seen this with me, but I have a penchant for just being sincere and honest about how I feel about things. At least a little bit.

Don’t share things people tell you in confidence.

Fucking duh but it needs to be stated. Sometimes people gotta vent. It happens. And I get that ‘talking behind someone’s back’ is not great, but expressing frustration is a real thing that has real value. And then finding out that those things were shared. If I didn’t bring it up with them myself, I didn’t want them to know. Duh. I’m not talking to be catty but because I’m upset. S h i t. Some of the drama that I’ve seen happen from others doing this (and not to me, but in various cases) was entirely unavoidable. I’ve seen so many variants of this. It’s dumb dude. It’s dumb.

Hard vs Soft statements (Stating opinions as facts)

This is another one that gets me. I come from a world where we write, ‘Sona tries to’ and so on to others. Tumblr as a whole doesn’t seem to conceptually engage with the idea of ‘interrupting actions’ and accepting that interactions are a little malleable. And it in turn reflects how others speak about characters.

I never see, “I think Sona is”, I see “Sona is.” This is such a minor little thing, and I’ve come to accept that it’s part of the culture, but it can be terribly frustrating when others speak about your characters. I often say things like “I see Sona as” or “Because of xyz, Ori/anna would probably-” etc. But that isn’t something that I see here from some people. I know that I do this a lot less these days, in part because I have acclimated to the culture.

Incidentally, there are some joke versions of this that are also frustrating. People can really think they’re being funny, but end up just shutting you out of the conversation entirely when they say ‘No’. I might be a little too sensitive to this though, in that I often disengage from conversations because “it’s not really about my interpretation, so it’s better if I not say anything because it’s not relevant and doesn’t contribute.”

Really, I’m just a weenie baby, but I know when someone’s being rude vs when it’s just my own anxieties. I don’t expect everyone to have unshakable confidence, I also don’t expect that everyone be quivering in their boots. Some people can be really, really dismissive and it’s kind of not so great because it comes along with them otherwise being pretty neat.

Last one: Misrepresentation of data / using a ‘preponderance of evidence’ when there really isn’t that much.

How do I even put this.

CONJECTURE IS NOT FACT.

Phew. Okay that’s done. That right there is a big problem (and in combination with the pet peeve before that, it gets worse.)

Something to understand is that sometimes there is no good reason to pipe up to correct someone. Often, people are having a visceral, gut reaction and it’s very emotional. Criticizing that ignores the intent (that they’re frustrated), so it’s often a good idea to let it be.

But that doesn’t stop me from seeing that facts are poorly stated or misrepresented. The community likes to talk about league so I see it in OOC posts, and I also see claims that are just wrong. They’re misstated, exaggerated, or phrased in such a way that you could accept them - except one fact check will prove otherwise. But again, why get in someone’s face when they’re frustrated?

But this leads to some people feeling ‘complicit acceptance’. Which is in itself another problem that I won’t get into.

I as a person tend to be pretty rigorous. If I see facts and I can check them with a quick google search, I often do - especially League. It’s so easy to check a champion’s win rate or popularity. Other people do not always exercise this rigor.

“Alright fuckface but that’s talking about league and not rp.”

Yeah okay you make a fair and valid point, except for the part where you missed bullet points 2-4. I’m more talking about the general attitude people have but let’s talk specifically more about RP.

There’s content. A lot of content. And most of it is really vague, because that’s how R I O T G A M E S does things. We still can’t get a straight answer on whether Sona’s adopted mom, Lestara, is alive or not. H u h?

And this often leads to us making connections and conclusions based on the limited data we have. We’re extrapolating, taking what we know and trying to figure out something new.

Except when we get a new data set, sometimes our extrapolations don’t work anymore.

Except we just spent three months world building around our guesses ( because that’s what they are)

Oops I’m divergent now.

That happens. A lot. My entire blog was evidence of that, where I made extreme guesses and then accidentally got validated as Demacia went full grimdark. But it even happened last year, when suddenly we gained new information! Mage registration! That’s a thing! And it changes how we perceive things.

And you may be thinking, ‘ok fine but what does that have to do with misrepresentation’ and it has this to do with it. People will make conclusions based on their own view, then solidify these conclusions as ‘fact’.

For example, I wrote a small article on how “magical sight was not a reasonable power to have” and then soon after, Mageseekers appeared. Oops. Oops.

And these extrapolations get treated as though they are really fact. The line between what is ‘real’ and what is ‘assumed’ blurs. The truth is this. Unless it’s directly and unambiguously stated, it’s basically not fact. “But we can conclude-” I know. And then we’ll get new information and that’ll change. Ideas in this fandom are like balloons, you need to tie them down with text evidence or they’ll just float away before you even know it. I can talk about how Sona is a literal genius level intellect all day, and tomorrow I can be proven wrong by one little shift or clarification in the lore. ‘Within months’ - okay how many months? Fifteen months? Three months? Unknown.

And this leads me to preponderance of ‘evidence’. This one is long because it bothers me a bunch.

‘Preponderance of evidence’ (quotes required) is basically the situation in which someone goes and tells me:

“Listen buddy, I have these seven pieces of evidence, so I can reasonably conclude that [x] is true.” And that’s solid conjecture and extrapolation and I accept that.

Except that maybe you seven pieces of evidence aren’t all solid pieces of evidence.

Oh.

Oh no.

And that’s happened. I have seen evidence pieces one, two, four, and six all be good. And pieces three, five, and seven are a stretch at best.

But because they have so many pieces of evidence, it’s hard to critique back. Because they still do have four good pieces of evidence!

But the strength of the conclusion increases with more accurate and valid data points, and if your data points aren’t-

And that’s the rub, basically. Sometimes I see people fit evidence to their conclusion without even realizing it. Some of the most intelligent, rigorous, and well-versed writers on this site I’ve seen do it.

And it sucks.

And it’s a peeve because here’s the truth.

The truth after all this talk is this very important fact.

I don’t say anything about these things to people because I don’t want to ruin anyone’s fun or engagement.

People make mistakes and say many things because they are passionate about what they’re talking about. Often that’s the case. And harmless conjecture misunderstandings are not the end of the world because this is not academia.

except that one time I wrote a writeup on how Aphe/lios isn’t mute but whatever.

And so while I have said all these things and have a lot of these feelings, I also think there’s no point to saying most of them directly to the person that bugs me. What good will it do? To someone who is reacting with their emotions and just wants to get their frustration out, or is speaking passionately about something... Just let it go.

And so often I let it go, even if I disagree. I have an opinion, but I don’t go out and toss it back in your face. I just get mad quietly and grump about it.

And that’s why I end up being a very ‘stay in my lane’ person.

The end.

If you read all the way through this, I’ll give you a cookie tbh. Many cookies. This is almost 3000 words and 7 pages.

#yuhl #ooc #long post tw #//3k words I'm sorry dash.

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commander-hanji-zoe · 4 years

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Do you have any advice for a new blog?

🌸 Oh this is such an interesting ask, I’ve been thinking about it for a few days now, sorry it’s taken a while to get back to you but I was thinking how best to answer it! While this blog has only been around for 3 years and I’ve only really started posting in it recently, I have had my main tumblr blog for 10 years and several side blogs with quite a few followers so I’m hoping I can provide some insight! I do apologise as this turned into a bit of a ramble that I feel is about tumblr but beings to overlap into life advice lol - I blame my age. 🌸

1.) I would say firstly, enjoy it. I feel sometimes there’s a lot of pressure to get loads of followers, create new content etc. and you can forget why you’re here. I got tumblr to reblog photos of things that made me happy from bands to tattoos, movie stuff, art etc and occasionally I would forget that and end up getting bogged down in comparing stats and myself to others. So yeah, enjoy it and remember why you joined ^_^

2.) If you love work that others create (writing/art/gif sets etc.) show your appreciation not just with likes but with comments and reblogging where you can/feel comfortable doing so. Likes are great and always appreciated but comments help to inspire and reblogging means more people will see their work. It encourages content creators to continue creating, it’s also a really good way of gaining followers and make friends. If you support others they will likely support you in return.

3.) Share the art/fan art/cosplay photos you love as per above - but don’t repost work. This was something I wasn’t really aware of when I first joined tumblr, a lot of people would just save photos from google or deviant art (it was a very different place back then) and post them on tumblr to show appreciation. But often there would be no artist detail or link to the artist, instead if you find something you like reblog it from the creator. If it isn’t on tumblr and you’d really like to post it here, contact the creator and ask their permission to post - then include a link in the post and explain you have the artist’s permission.

4.) Talk to people :) - Okay like Alice in Wonderland here’s some advice I could really use sometimes! Through tumblr I have met some of the most amazing friends. When I first started out I started chatting to a girl who went to the same Uni as me, we met up to go for coffee, browse record shops and saw The Vaccines together. I’ve also met numerous people who encouraged me to go to Hobbit Con in Germany - I had the most amazing time, remained friends, one of them came to my wedding. I guess the message here is that internet friends are great and you never know what a friendship can blossom into. If there’s someone whose work you admire or blog you love, don’t be afraid to reach out and send a message, even if you feel a bit silly (I often do!).

5.) Tags - My take on tags is pretty simple, tag correctly. I often tag things quite heavily but I make sure that I only tag characters that feature in a post or fandoms that feature in that post etc. You often come across posts where every character in the show has been tagged, I get why people do it, it means the post will come up in more results but it is rather infuriating when you’re looking for something specific. It also looks messy and can make things hard to find on your own blog. So yeah tag the show/film/book etc, tag the relevant characters, add whatever tags you want regarding your feelings/emotions about the post or thoughts on it. But ideally keep it relevant. On that note, tag ships (people often blacklist ships they dislike or that they find problematic) so doing this helps everyone. Anything that’s only really suitable for people 18+ tag however you see fit (due to Tumblr’s changes last year we had to revert to tagging things on the citrus scale again so I tag anything like that as lemon as well as nsft) Finally Trigger/content warnings - I do use them, some people put warnings on everything, some people don’t do at all. Again like with shipping it is helpful for people who have

6.) Remember to take breaks - tumblr can be a little addictive and easy to pass time (like social media) so remember to take breaks, when you get back they’ll be loads of new stuff on your dashboard to look at ^_^

7.) Follow loads of blogs! I probably should have put this higher up. But have a think about the kind of content you want to see and spend some time searching for blogs that fit that, I also find it’s nice to follow some more aesthetic blogs or blogs that are calming/relaxing, seeing things like that on my dash is always a reminder to have a breather!

8.) Enjoy playing around with themes - decide what you want your blog to be about (and remember there’s nothing wrong with having a main blog that’s a little bit of everything you love as well as personal stuff!) and then have fun with the settings. There’s a lot of free tumblr themes, some of which are pretty neat and user friendly in terms of customisation. Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you’re stuck.

9.) Side blogs are also really great. I begun to create side blogs because I didn’t want to spam my main blog with Game of Thrones, The Hobbit, Red Dead Redemption 2 or Attack on Titan, so I created side blogs. I still post about all these things on main but not as frequently. A side blog can also be good if you want to create a blog you can share with employers - I have a side blog for my photography and one for my writing. Sideblogs are also a good way of keeping certain material away from the blog where people in real life are most likely to find you. Generally I won’t post 18+ material on my main blog, so smutty fan fiction etc. goes on the side blogs. As a side note, when you have a side blog you cannot like posts or ask questions as that side blog - it will be from your main blog.

10.) Try not to get disheartened if you create original content and it doesn’t get a lot of attention at first. When you create a blog it can take time to gain followers/traction. But remember as per point 1, that Tumblr should be fun and creating content should first and fore mostly be for you and your enjoyement. But if you continue to create, tag appropriately but also show appreciation for fellow creators there’s no reason why in time you won’t flourish. And as per point 3, if you reblog others work there’s a chance they in return will reblog your art.

11.) There’s extension kits you can get for tumblr, I know some people use them and find them helpful. I’m not sure they’re as poplar/needed now as they used to be. I used to use one but don’t feel the need now, however might be worth a google or asking someone more knowledgeable to see if it’ll work for you.

12.) You can blacklist tags through settings, if there’s any ships, characters, things you’d rather not see on your dash or that you find upsetting or triggering I’d recommend blacklisting them. If people tag correctly you shouldn’t much/if any of it.

13.) Under blog settings you can also choose whether you want your blog to be searchable via the email address you registered with and on google. I switched this off pretty much as soon as it became a feature! My blogs, even my main blog are a piece of me which is only shared with a select few people in real life. I really do not need my colleagues, employers, certain family/friends finding this!

14.) Use Queues! I adore a queue.... Once I discovered they were a thing I try to have around 100 posts in my queue on main at any time. You can amend how many times you post a day (mine is around 8-12 times, I change it when i go away). It just means your blog remains active even if you can’t really log on for a week or two or if you’re on holiday. Occasionally I’ll add original posts into my queue with writing, it can be nice to come back and see the feedback. A lot of people put ‘queue’ in the tag, but you’ll realise most people have a quirky tag. For example on main mine is - one does not simply queue their way through tumblr. And on my red dead blog it’s - I had a god damn queue! Sadly on here I haven’t got one yet!

15.) Finally I would say engage in discourse as little as possible. It can be tempting and while drama can be fun for a while, even just to watch from the outside it can quickly escalate into something nasty and toxic. At first you might want to join in but tumblr can be, well it can be a lot at times and very noisy with everyone screaming their opinions and trying to be louder than the person before. I would say no fandom is inherently toxic, but it happens. A fandom I was heavily involved in last year had so much discourse and there was so much drama that even though I wasn’t involved in it my anxiety was through the roof, I had a panic attack over it and felt paranoid. After speaking to other older members in the fandom I felt much better (they too were annoyed with what was happening) and we realised that essentially a lot of it boiled down to a real lack of critical thinking. I’m not saying don’t get involved at all, sometimes I have seen things where I’ve felt things need to be said/action taken especially when it comes to intolerance and hatred. But I would say when you do engage - pick your battles. (I hope this last one makes sense). I started writing a lot more and going into the politics of it and ranting about bigots and then thought that’s probably enough! 😁

I hope this post helps! Like I said I’ve never been asked something like this so it took a bit of thinking but these are some of the key thoughts I had.

edit - I meant to add that obviously the above is just my opinion and based on my experiences on tumblr/thoughts about things.

#asks #blogging #tumblr stuff #advice I guess?#rambling #non aot #non snk

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 5 years

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I’ll be rolling out the tags around about the time of this post.

Sarazanmai 3

Kisu = kissu (kiss). Update: Or kisu (on the right side of my equation). You do you, subbers.

Goma-ae.

Gomennassara! (Oh, I get it…!)

It never occurred to me that a “micanga” was a bead or small pierced round object of some sort. I thought it was a race track sort of thing, but for soccer. Update: It’s a bracelet/anklet thing.

Wait, so what brought on this change of heart from Kazuki??? Is it like the 1st episode, where it was a daydream that was cleverly presented as real? Update: Yep.

Oh…have you noticed all the victims of Reo and Mabu’s scheme are men of the NEET/freeter age, or approaching that?

Notably, the signature pose of the Sarazanmai seems to be similar to the one Kazuki and Enta did in the soccer team.

I find it interesting that Enta is now the initiator of the Sarazanmai and thus the one to steal the shirikodama. I mean, he used to be the one with the least stakes in the Dish of Hope scenario…and now look at him!

Ooh, Toi is sharpening his ruler! (Or whatever you do in Touken Ranbu with that lil’ beater of his.)

Oh wait, I forgot Ikuhara always has a last-minute twist! Go back, go back!

It seems like Haruka has some kind of illness…hmm. Update: Oh, it’s not an illness per se…spoke too soon.

Haruka’s talking about the Little Prince…hmm. Last time I really bothered to engage with that story in any form was Star Driver.

Fruits Basket 2

I don’t think I ever really chose a side on the Kyo vs Yuki debate, but I guess I always subtly sided with Yuki (even though the end pairing is Tohru and *bleep*). <- sorry, had to censor myself

“It’s important for me to get to school every day!”

Kabedon! Eeeeee! (LOL, I really am a squealy person at heart, aren’t I?)

The writing says “she misheard [what Yuki said] as ‘being sick’”, so it was quite lucky that the word “sickened” worked in context.

Yuki has some mad ninja skills…LOL.

Shigure in a suit looks goooooooooood, man (<- gender neutral use of “man”).

“…the days ahead will be fun.” – Oh, Tohru, you don’t know how wrong you are…(says someone who completed the manga)

Fruits Basket 3

I’m hearing the OP for the first time…and it sounds like an ED. (Probably because I read some impressions that said the same thing earlier today.)

“…included in the zodiac?”

Ooh! Momiji! Wait, er…I didn’t expect him to be so high-pitched…

Lookit the tiny cat icon on the side! It’s cute!!!

*yells* It’s Kagura!!!!!!!! She ain’t my favourite, but man, is it great to see another familiar face!

I’ve been wondering what the title meant when it said “what year is she?” It means “year of the zodiac”.

Fruits Basket 4

“Shii-chan”…?

Kyo-kun ran away before Kagura even started making dinner…

Was Kyo’s katsudon a joke…? (Cats-udon, geddit?...No?)

“…marriage is a girl’s greatest dream.” – That used to be so, Tohru…nowadays, it ain’t.

Lookit how Kyo’s eyes lit up when he talks about his teacher!

OPM 2 2

That title’s…even more counterintuitive than “OPM 2 1”…hmm.

It’s…kind of dark right now.

I think there was bourbon on the counter. Someone likes to drink around here…

I guess with the mass animation exodus, OPM seems kinda…monologue-y. And cheap…

…nope, I take back my words. They were merely saving up for this action scene.

BSD 28 (S3 Ep 3)

Seriously, what are those metal things Dazai was wearing? Anyways, I like how it’s absolutely the norm that Chuuya swears now and I was part of forming that. Because I don’t swear a lot, I think Chuuya makes a nice outlet for my own frustrations...that’s what could be said, anyway.

D’aww. Someone acknowledges Chuuya’s identity. Ain’t that grand? (Now you see why I like Chuuya more than Dazai these days, huh?)

Come to think of it…a person hasn’t died in this show for a while, have they? It just goes to show you that despite one of its major stars being a guy obsessed with shinjuu (double suicide), the creators seem to be emphasising the sanctity of life itself.

Oh, I never thought they had an explanation for Dazai’s coat…

What is the age difference between Chuuya and Dazai anyway??? They’re both 15 during the LN that’s called that, but the exact difference…what is it? Update: Dazai’s birthday is June 19th and Chuuya’s is April 29th, so the difference is 1 month and 21 days (using the idea that 7 days = a week and May is 30 days, that’s 51 days in all).

Ooh, we’re getting Fyodor, Ace and the unnamed kid soon, aren’t we? That also means we’re in unknown territory for myself, too…hmm.

OPM 2 3

When did Saitama last meet Charanko anyway? Charanko is voiced by Toshiki Masuda, so I would’ve kept an eye out for him, but the art shift and the years between seasons mean I don’t remember anymore.

Oof, “justice crashed Mumen Rider’s head” is more like it.

CGI banana…Just saying “CGI banana” is funny.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 4

Headpats, headpats all around!

Hooo…boy. I already knew Sabito and Makomo were dead because Crow and Irina’s collab post was called “The Names of Dead Children”, but how it was delivered…was such a powerful move.

I saw the blonde boy who’s in the OP…hmm. Update: His name is Zenitsu, according to the next-ep preview.

OPM 2 4

When comparing this dissection of monsters against Mob Psycho…the biggest monster Mob has is himself…hmm.

I didn’t expect Saitama to actually enter under Charanko’s name with that wig he got…

“…name as a martial artist.”

Mojo for the dojo, it seems this man wants.

I think the centipede senpai is CGI. Hmm…

It’s been years…I’ve forgotten what Ponytail Head’s name is! (And I call OPM one of my favourite series in anime…!)

Sarazanmai 4

“Writers exist between life and death.” – …is Ikuhara expressing his own thoughts on how anime writers are treated…?

I anticipate a soba pun (soba = noodles and soba = beside [someone]).

“…gives a s***…” – Says you, Toi, with the “Golden Poop” in the background. Then again, that’s just an English pun. Don’t mind me.

Comic Sans…you can’t escape it, even in this day and age…

Yude = to boil, soba…is the noodles. (The “o” on the end of the Monster of the Week’s first name means “man”.) Ikuhara uses Monster of the Week names in service of symbolism, while Takamatsu uses inconsistency for the sake of humour.

Intetestingly, there’s a spiralling blue thing in the background of the dance number and it says “soba” (katakana) and “desire” (yokubou, in kanji).

The headline translates to “Tragedy! It was next to me, but then…” (Kigeki! Sakki made soba ni ita noni…) The subbers had to accommodate the soba pun though, so they went with “so bar away”.

Hmm…now Toi takes centre stage…

2007, huh? How old are Kazuki and co. again?

This is probably the least surprising secret of all, y’know. Also, I think Keppi and Kazuki have cucumbers in their mouths.

They have subs for Stand By Me now!!! Oh mai globbb!

W-Wuh?! I can see why he’d hate Haruka (feelings of “why don’t my parents look at me the way they look at him anymore?”), but…this really turns this entire story on its head!

Kimetsu no Yaiba 5

Interestingly, the “My” in the episode title is Onore (an “I” indicating professionalism).Come to think of it…what is Tanjiro’s pronoun of choice?

Aww…the fact Tanjiro kinda looks like the demon’s (previous body’s…?) bro made the scene kinda cute. Possibly, it could be even enough to drive someone to tears…not that I was driven to tears, of course.

Well, here’s Zenitsu.

This angry kid reminds me of Mike Teevee (from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). He seems like a rival, but he’ll disappear soon enough. Also, LOL, a sparrow instead of a crow.

“…my whole body hurts.” – Welp, that’s what happens when you lose sleep fighting demons for 7 days straight…

Why the obvious names? (re: Haganezuka – that is, hagane means “steel”…also, Nichirin contains the character for “sun” (at least, I think so…?) and Yoko can be understood to be/homophonous to the word for “sunlight”)

Tanjiro, son of Tanjuro…LOL. That was probably deliberate – it means the first son follows in the father’s footsteps.

For some reason, I wanted Haganezuka to pop out of the comic for the next-ep preview…aww.

Shield Hero 17

How many times did Fitoria say “I’m going to kill the heroes” and Naofumi say variants of “no”? Because of that, I had half a mind to jump ship and head to RobiHachi instead…but keep going.

That cowlick stuff was probably the most fun I’ve had with this show in a while…heh.

Oh great…Naofumi expanded his pseudo-harem to two bird waifus…then again, I had a stupid grin on my face seeing Fitoria’s old master, so maybe it’s not all bad, y’know?

Post-credits scene…keep watching!

Wah-wait…what the heck was that explosion???!!!

BSD 29 (S3 Ep 4)

That’s…Topaz (unofficial name)…ohhhhhhhh dear…

Oooh, Katai! Katai! Yay!!! (As you can tell, I had a very small thing for Katai. He reminds me of En-chan, y’see.)

The CGI in this OP…you can tell there’s quite a bit of it, huh?

It’s Deadmau5 (as the fandom used to joke)!

Fyodor’s eyes of disgust as Topaz dries his hair…hmm.

Older Topaz looks surprisingly like Oda…I don’t remember that exact shot, but it might’ve been in the manga. His background also reminds me of Chuuya’s.

OPM 2 Ep 4 (OPM 18)

“Irksome insect”…says the giant insect.

I think I saw a 7-11 pastiche in the background.

Why does the bird have a human hand in his belly? What??? (LOL)

This tournament arc don’t feel so hype, now that MHA’s is over…

Someone likes Donkey Kong… (referring to Marshal Gorilla and the other Kong guy (Heavy Kong))

Sarazanmai 5

…oh wow. Y’mean Kazuki is adopted???

“Why don’t you say anything, even though you know about me now?” (from Toi) – Probably because Kazuki is as f***ed up as you are, if not worse.

What are those sparkles coming off Sara’s face…? Not sure if they’re a shoujo thing or just…gratuitous sparkles.

LOL, Nioino Fukuro. Basically “pouch of scent” when you insert a space between the second I and the second N and change the first name kanji, plus change the “no” to hiragana.

I know the title of the song is Kawausoiya (translates to “awful otters” or something like that), but “soiya” doesn’t make much sense on its lonesome.

Wait…does that mean Sara is the creature? Or there are two Saras that can look the same, but one looks like the human and one is more kappa-like???

For some reason, I’m getting changeling vibes here…that Kazuki wants to look different to the rest of his family because he knows he’s different.

Hey…there’s this thing called the tourist gaze. It argues that because people create notions of reality differently, people have different ideas of what makes a trip “good” and “authentic”. In the same sense, Haruka’s “false” connection with Kazuki!Sara has become his reality, so it’s not wrong to say this Sara is real for him.

Oh…I just realised some kanji that appar early in the OP are the kanji for “extraction”.

So, uh…in a sense…can I interpret Kazuki’s love for his real mother a Fruedian thing? It seems all men’s love can be interpreted to be Freudian in some way or another…also, Sara kind of looks like his mother in a very “surface” kind of way. That is, they have a very passing resemblance to each other. Update: I’ve been reading some Stephen King lately and if I took anything away from that experience, it would be that everything is Freudian when it comes to men’s experiences. That’s why I say that.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 6

…*remembers something from the collab that was along the lines of “Astral doesn’t like Tanjiro’s green jacket”* Astral’s not gonna like this, then. (For those who don’t know the context, “Astral” is AstralGemini of the Zodiac Room.)

*Tanjiro is told he might not go very far with his demon slaying* *Tanjiro reacts with happiness that he’s on his way to get Nezuko human again* - Uh…I know I’ve watched my share of shonen, but I kind of didn’t expect that and yet also did.

Ugh…it’s the return of CGI Tanjiro…the vegie patch looks good in CGI though, for some reason.

Lemme guess…with a title like that (Swordsman Accompanying a Demon), could it be that Kazumi is a demon???

“I don’t get it at all.” – LOL…that was unintentionally funny (for the second time in this show, the first being Hand Demon).

BSD 30 (S3 Ep 5)

Moby Dick crashing into Yokohama? It was literally years ago for us!

I’m pretty sure these Park guys didn’t exist in the manga. Update: Nope, they did. I’ve read the corresponding chapter, it’s just that that was also 2 years ago…just like the last we saw of the anime.

I love how the “gyaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” ended in blood splatter, literally.

The Park guys apparently come from ch. 44 but Katai comes from ch. forty…what? One? Two? It’s not 40 (Hitori Ayumu), that’s all I know.

Katai is a good boy. You’ll see why in…oh, a few seconds.

Oh, I love the ending of this story. I already know the ending, but seeing it again will be a whole new bag of laughs!

Uh…I forgot how much of an interruption the anime’s humour is. My dream of a “whole new bag of laughs” is at least half dashed…*shoulders slump*

Apparently Atsushi cut his hair himself…not sure if that’ll be a spoiler for later, but it’s still something cool to know.

“So it’s your letter?”

Katai is basically me when it comes to my husbandos. See why I love him???

Come to think of it…I haven’t properly listened to the ED yet! Better do that while I still have the chance.

Fruits Basket 5

Shigure is such a troll…just like I remember him.

Fruits Basket 6

Hatori! Ooh! He’s hottttttt! Sizzling!...Okay, I think you get my point already…

I think someone else (Amelia from A Girl and Her Anime…?) pointed this out…but I don’t understand a speck of German outside 1 – 10 (I remembered the German word for “six” way too well when I was younger). So it would help if they bothered to make the German English as well.

For some reason, the stick figure was both obviously a cost-cutting measure and also elevated the hilarity of that scene…!

I don’t quite know what the Japanese equivalent of the “macaroni and cheese” thing was, but it conveys the same idea in the two languages and makes people laugh along the way, so…*shrugs shoulders* Makes sense, I guess.

Tohru is kandou about meeting an author. Kandou means to be deeply moved (noun form).

LOL, Hanajima reading the book.

…Oh my goodness. I just realised Fruits Basket has a lot of characters with fringes. 90s fringes for everyone!

“…a cartoon about a cat and a rat that are always fighting…” - Come to think of it, Tom and Jerry is popular in Japan.

Shield Hero 18

I think this episode title ends in inbou, which means “intrigue”.

This show is clearly trying to play the same cards over and over again…

Shield Hero 19

Hypocrites! Hypocrites everywhere! *does Buzz Lightyear hand gesture from the meme*

OPM 19 (S2 Ep 6)

The reason the fat guy is called Dave is not just because of B/V confusion, but because debu (without the line in the middle) is a slang word for…wait for it…”fatty”.

Interestingly, Murata previously worked on a oneshot called Gokiburi Buster. I wonder if this Cockroach Boi is from there…?

Did you notice the guys behind the umpire, who had a stretcher at the ready…?

“Mr Saynuthin” seems to be “Nanmoien-san” in Japanese.

“Waganma” seems to be a play on wagamama, or selfish. However, I can’t pin down the pun in the father’s name...

Well, well, well…at least someone acknowledges Speed of Sound Sanic (the ninja, not the CGI abomination or the monkey) is hecka-speedy.

Charanko (the real one)…he has ashi no ura (the back of the foot) written on his bandages…LOL.

Sarazanmai 6

Apparently Kazuki’s (foster) family all wear the same kind of stripes…which is what Kazuki means when he doesn’t want to wear the same kind of clothes as his family.

Okay…so the first set of kanji that appear in the OP are the one for “desire” and the ones after that are “extraction”…geddit? (LOL)

Oh my glob…how in the name of Iyami does Osomatsu-san get so popular that after I watched the first season of that show, it starts appearing in other places as well????

I saw a translation of the Reo and Mabu tweets and apparently at least one of them can make ningyoyaki (a type of cake you can make in all sorts of shapes – scroll down a bit on that page and you’ll find the description of ningyoyaki there).

Uhh…ghh…Keppi pole dancing was disturbing…*soul floats out of body temporarily*

Reo (I think that’s Reo, at least) has ningyoyaki…Update: Yup, that’s Reo.

“Headdress”, huh?

Why does this episode 6 feel like ending material…?

Wait…you’re saying Reo and Mabu are princes of the otter kingdom??? Wuh???

BSD 31 (S3 Ep 6)

(Lucy blushes) Wow…now there’s an option for a het ship right there…not that anyone will take it.

I saw a GIF of Atsushi floating naked and face down in the water (because Irina), but…I forgot exactly how the scenario before it went, so I LOLled.

Oh yeah…this chapter had a tie-in with Mizuki Tsujimura, because Mizuki knew Kyoka’s mother. Also, it shows you can inherit Abilities…

It’s Truck-kun and the curse of the isekai!...Okay, I’m kidding.

Oh yeah…this is the chapter about the Headmaster…

I haven’t been in a good place mentally for the past few years or so, due to my world basically fragmenting around me, so the words “don’t hate yourself” are strong ones coming from a place both nostalgic and new.

Dazai inherits a particularly interesting space in Atsushi’s life. He’s like a brother and father wrapped up into one (Kunikida is the nagging mother in that analogy, LOL), but also obsessed with suicide to the point he can also be a liability.

“…didn’t tell anyone…”

It’s also interesting to compare Tohru (of Fruits Basket) and Atsushi. They’re both selfless, but Tohru’s selflessness is shown to be a double-edged sword while Atsushi’s gives him a lot of resentment but is overall a positive thing.

Aww…seeing Atsushi slowly tear up almost made me tear up too…

Fitzgerald Rising…that’s the name of the chapter where…oh, sorry. It’s been years, so I’ll let it all play out for you and me again without mentioning any spoilers until they happen in (close to) real time in the show, okay?

Fruits Basket 7

This is the first time there’s been English lyrics on the OP for this show…I think.

Who’s this “he” Tohru’s referring to when examining the woman’s picture? Akito, probably, but I’m not 100% sure…Update: It was Hatori, actually.

“Shii-san”, “Haa-san” etc. is…cute. *cue “O kawaii koto…” from Kaguya-sama*

I get the feeling that Shigure is almost like a prototype Dazai (Bungou Stray Dogs). Or they just have a lot in common.

“Are these my just desserts?”

Demon Slayer 7

Nezuko’s playing whack a mol-er, demon, isn’t she??? (LOL)

Whoa…it must be mighty freaky to be floating in a swamp of dead people’s possessions…

Welp, Tanjiro…that’s one way to say “hands off my sister”. *nods* By cutting the demon’s hands off…

I like the contrast between Tanjiro’s callused hands and Kazumi’s smooth ones.

Hey…why does food always get wasted in movies and other media…? I know I’m applying real-life consumption habits to media, but it always looks quite wasteful, y’know…?

OPM 20 (S2 Ep 7)

I never noticed that shot of Watchdog Man in the OP before…huh.

Pig God’s shirt says DEV. It’s a pun on debu (fatty)…again.

Ooh! I saw him in the OP! Flashy Flash! I’ve never seen him in action outside the OP before, but I know his name and appearance from reading around.

“You all are the strongest swordsmen we have.”

Seriously, Saitama, just get something to stick the wig on and you wouldn’t have gotten into this mess. Maybe superglue…(okay, I’m kidding about the superglue).

OPM got really childish this time…

#simulcast commentary #one punch man #Fruits Basket #The Rising of the Shield Hero #Kimetsu no Yaiba #Demon Slayer #Sarazanmai #Bungou Stray Dogs #chesarka watches bsd #Chesarka watches Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari #Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari #Chesarka watches OPM #Chesarka watches Sarazanmai #Chesarka watches KnY #Chesarka watches Furuba

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zolaliz · 6 years

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Trans v terf discourse:

Hey so I wanted to make a post of my own about the whole terf discourse thing I stumbled upon yesterday and the post I made out of spite today (which I took down, because it was a mistake, and if you saw it I truly, genuinely apologize) and explain a little bit more calmly about the whole thing, about where I'm coming from

Basically I happened upon the account belonging to @/redkatherinee and saw some art that really.. had me shaken up, I guess. It was disturbing, and i felt sick in a way I haven't in a long time. Now I myself am not trans. But I'm going to come out and say that I support trans women, because 1.) I am not ashamed of this, and would never be, and 2.) it's gonna be kinda vital to my whole conversation here. If you are a terf, (trans exclusionary radical feminist for anyone who doesn't know) you might read the sentence before this one and immediately think of my opinion as invalid. You're might (or might not, I don't know) not even bother to read the rest of this. You might start gearing up counter arguments before I even start with my point. That's okay. I am not looking for a fight here. I just want to explain my point of view. If you don't want to listen, if you don't care, if you think I'm wrong, I'm going to politely ask that you don't let me know about it. If you're looking to talk, I'm going to be cautiously open to that. But keep in mind I know the difference between the approaches of someone looking to talk and someone looking to fight. So if you want to send hate or anything else, please refrain. Just as I am going to try to refrain from insulting anybody with this post. Because that's not my intention here. And if I do, I'm sorry.

I'm going to talk about two of @/redkatherinee's art pieces in particular. One displays a witch with a cauldron, with hands reaching out of the boiling liquid, with trans flag bracelets on their wrists. The other displays a women holding a bloodied pie, with eye balls inside it, and a caption that says "terfs literally eat transwomen". Both are drawn in satire. I do believe they were drawn for the purpose of satire, and upon further reading, found out they were drawn because the artist wanted to illustrate how trans supporters and trans people view terfs. Even if they were drawn for satirical purposes, it does not make these images okay. Far from it.

I've always disagreed with terf's stance on transwomen, how they treat them and view them, but I've never seen this hate so openly displayed. Because it wasn't the images that disturbed me, not exactly. It was how I imagined a transwoman stumbling upon them. Maybe this isn't something a terf can empathize with, as some terfs don't see trans women as worthy of empathy, but please try.

If I were a trans woman I would feel beyond despised, I'd feel scared and panicked over how much hatred someone could have to construct those images. To put time and effort into them. The whole thing feels wildly out of hand, but if I had stumbled across those posts as a trans woman, especially without any context provided in the captions, without any context of why the artist drew those (and honestly, even with the context), I'd feel like hiding. I'd feel scared of how someone could have so much hatred towards me. I'd feel angry and start hating in return.

Terfs argue that not all transwomen are good people, and therefore should not be supported. But the truth of this is people can be bad, regardless of sexual orientation, identity, background, opinion. Not all people are good, but that shouldn't mean we stop supporting the ones that are.

For those who say that terfs get hatred and death and rape threats, I am here to say that none of that is okay. Your beliefs do not give others the excuse to be nasty to you. Me included. But you must understand that when you tell others you believe transwomen are rapists and murderers and horrible people, people that don't deserve respect, their first instinct is to lash out (as was mine). It doesn't excuse the behavior, merely explains it.

But you have to understand that this behavior is provoked by someone telling them that their existence is invalid, that it automatically makes them something they may not be. And telling a trans person that they shouldn't exist, that they are wrong, that they are something they aren't- that behavior is inexcusable too.The same way you may feel about people hating terfs, sending them death threats, rape threats, and worse- is what others feel like when they see you excluding trans people and telling people that they don't deserve to exist in the gender they identify with, that they are pedophiles and rapists and murderers themselves. It makes them angry and defensive and scared. It makes them sick and cruel and irrational. It continues the cycle of hate.

But you see the biggest difference between the hate terfs receive and the hate trans people receive is that terfs receive hate because of their beliefs, while trans people receive hate because of their identity. You can change one's beliefs, but no one can change who they are . Trans women are hated because of who they are, their existence, and by excluding them, by targeting them and discriminating against them, you receive hate for your beliefs. Because your beliefs harm others.

Please understand, if you are a terf, in the same way you most likely cannot change your opinions of trans women, these women also can't change who they are. That's right, these women can not change who they are. They aren't men in skirts. They aren't monsters. Because monsters can be monsters regardless of identity or gender, so saying that they are a monster because they are trans is absurd. I wouldn't insult a whole religion for the few who use it to promote hate and ignorance. The actions of some don't speak for the actions for everybody. Everyone, in their own way, is only trying to get by. To live their life as they identify.

Now to people who violently hate on terfs, I was you about six hours ago. Through writing this and after writing this I realized hate isn't the way to approach this. Hate should never be a way to approach anything. Because how on earth do you expect people to even consider your opinion if you approach it with hate? So the telling them to kill themselves and jump off a bridge and die and all that horrible shit, that needs to stop. These are humans, no matter how different their opinions are. No matter how harmful their opinions are. Hurting them back won't help, even if that's your first instinct (as it was mine.)(to be clear though I've never sent a terf a death threat or anything similar). I get it, okay, I really do, but that's not the right way to go about this. This isn't saying that terfs are in the right, or that the hate they receive is anything compared to the decades of discrimination, violence, and worse that trans women have received, but sending them hate won't make the situation any better.

It's exhausting going about it this way and anger and anonymous hate is easier and quicker and makes you feel better- but it won't solve anything.

So to everyone, trans supporters and terfs and trans people themselves- we're all so eager to go at each other's throats, but to take a step back and talk, that could accomplish a lot more. Terfs; maybe a trans woman won't ever be a woman to you, but the least you can do is try and remember that they are a human being. That they aren't defined by anyone else's actions except their own. Trans supporters; you aren't doing the trans people you support any favors by telling terfs to go kill themselves, by calling them disgusting. It comes off badly on the people you're trying to defend. And trans women; I know it's difficult, and I know some terfs won't even give you the time of day- or worse, they do, and they target and harass you. They hate you for your existence, which isn't something you can change (or ever should have to change). So I'm not going to tell you you have to be understanding of people who want you gone, who don't respect you. Talk to them as you see fit, and if they can't talk to you like you're a human, that's on them, and I'm sorry that it being on them doesn't mend the damage done to you by talking to them or being targeted by them.

Respect goes a long way on either end. Stop the death threats, rape threats, suggestions of suicide, exclusion, targeting, and worse.

Hate really doesn't give anyone the high ground. But talking? Talking can help some people reach a middle ground.

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