#pray I won't get caught lol

[vivilingriphyn]

Hey! I got a question, Whoever tried to attempt to kill Jay or hurt him, what would C!Nadakhan will do or react?

(Omg, I'm already fell in love with your AU already!!! It makes me wanna draw more fanarts for you because of this AU)

To answer your question directly, it very much depends on whether or not Jay is dying or not but here's a lil scene of one of the methods that C!Nadakhan often uses it.

C!Nadakhan's preferred method is usually changing the enemies appearance into Nadakhan which usually does the trick Jay enough to keep going. It's like putting on a skin on game character(s). And a lil fun fact is that C! Nadakhan those very often even without someone to threaten Jay's life which has its side effects...

But it all honestly jus depends whether it would actually kill Jay or not, if not C!Nadakhan would let Jay's wounds bleed and fester but not to the point of Jay ending up dead, but close enough to death that C!Nadakhan would have to burn Jay's wounds to stop the bleeding. Whether that would mean literally or mentally like say self-hatred, it would redirect Jay's hatred from himself to C!Nadakhan by any means necessary. If that doesn't work C!Nadakhan would have to resort to extreme measures.

Here's a lil thing I wrote that sort of shows C!Nadakhan resorting to this. The Sham | Ch■■ feel free to have a read.

[poetryvampire]

painfully needy Rolan going into rut

Had this on the brain lately. I don't think it would take much to make Rolan an absolute mess but imagine how worse it would be when he's going into rut. Boy would snap so fast

Rolan x afab non-tiefling reader

Have some 🔥spicy🔥 musings

*this went longer than I wanted lol. But if you like it tell me if you want more 🧡

● Rolan had been doing this dance with you for months now. Both working at Sorcerous Sundries you saw each other regularly, even tried to work together as much as possible (not that he'd ever admit that). The banter, the playful mockery leading to not so subtle flirtation was easy until now.

● The conversations didn't flow like before. A joke about becoming a doe eyed scarcely dressed maiden -like the ones on the covers of those novels you so enjoy- suddenly lead his mind to wander. Any wisecrack replaced with the image of you gazing at him so lustfully. An image that stays with him for the rest of the day (and night).

● Lia and Cal are very vocal about his uptick in irritability. He tries to ignore them but they're not wrong. Ever little thing sets him off. He's frustrated at himself. For letting the feelings get so far without truely noticing. For being too proud or too embarrassed to act on them.

●He often forgets his words as his eyes lingered on your lips, your neck, your figure. More than once you caught him staring and to his surprise no offense was taken. Just a quizzical look, perhaps a soft smile that flooded his face with warmth.

●Rolan would have almost preferred you'd have met him with anger. Now the hope of you ran rampant through him. That if he was ever to give in he may be met with the embrace he so longed for. The need for you was growing by the day. He even took care to not stand to closely to you now. He coursed himself for it. How had he become so starved for affection that even the scent of you sprung his body to life.

●The wizard had spent many nights forced to take action if he was to ever find sleep. He'd be tangled in his sheets, hair wild, trusting violently into his own fist. He tries to keep his fantasies to more abstract forms of pleasure but as hard as he tries the vague shapes melt into crystal clear images of you. It would always be you around him like a vice that would push him over the edge.

● There were times he'd lose himself so throughly he'd cry out your name as he came. Embarrassed by this lack of control, Rolan told himself it was better to happen here than in front of you.

● Going into work that morning something felt off. Rolan's whole body felt extra sensitive, aching. The horrible thought finally struck him at midday. Was he going into rut? Now!? With such little warning? He calms himself. He's not certain after all.

● Until he's been paired with you to clean out and old study turned storage room. He's hyper aware of your scent. Its filling his lungs,making his knees weak. The room isn't exactly small but it's stuffed with stacks of books making moving around a problem. You're constantly having to squeeze (delightfully, terrifyingly) close to each other.

● Luckily you're busying yourself with the task at hand. Rolan prays you won't notice how red (red-er) his face is or the sizable bulge he's currently cloaking with a stack of books. The straining against his pants is almost painful. He's eyeing the door, anything to escape the heat building in his blood.

●His eyes fall back to you and all notions of making a run for it leave his mind. Along with everything else that isn't right in front of him. You looked a vision, standing on and old box body spread across the book self as you attempt to reach something on the top shelf. Not only was it a perfect view of your form, it reminded him of a pose one might see in an old painting.

●Suddenly the box wobbled threatening to send you falling backwards. Your scream was cut short as you felt Rolan catch you, arms wrap around your middle tightly pressing you to him. His face buried in your hair he couldn't help utter a deep groan. The wave of intoxicating aroma washing away his last bit of restraint.

●With ease he flips you around, pressing you into the shelf, a maon escaping your lips. Your hands came to his chest not to push him away but in a gentle caress.

●'Rolan? Please,' was hardly out on your mouth when they were swallowed by his lips. He kisses you like a drowning man breaking the water's surface. Madly, desperately as if any second you may be taken away for him. Hungrily he deepens the kiss and your lips part for him with ease, both of you relishing in the taste.

●It's only when you part for air he realizes he's been rocking his hips into you. An apology catches in his throat as you grind back against him. He's dizzy with lust, his own heartbeat pounding in his ears.

●His lips find your neck, kissing, sucking and biting. Trying his best not to break the skin. Your moans drive him on. His hands are frantic running all over you. Soon your hands lead his to the laces on your dress. He makes quick work of it.

●Rolan takes you in his arms again and lays you down on a near by table. A little too eager he tears your under things away completely. But to his awe you only laugh and spread yourself out for him to drink you in fully. You're a goddess in his eye and he intends to worship.

●Words spill senselessly from him as he lavishes you with his mouth. 'Fuck, Fuck! You're beautiful you're perfect. I need- God's, l need you I need you.' He hasn't the brain for elegance now. He's kissing you everywhere maoning words of love into your skin.

● As he makes it to your thighs he cannot help but bury is face between them. The sweet taste of your sex has him throbbing with out so much as a touch. He wants to make sure you're nice and ready for him. You're not a tiefling after all and he couldn't bare the thought of hurting you. It doesn't take long before you're dripping wet against his tongue as he slides wildly between attacking your entrance and your clit.

●You stifle a scream as an orgasm suddenly rips through you, your thighs shaking in his grasp. Youre still panting but you pull him away, drawing him closer to you. As you pull him into a soft kiss your hands unlace his pants (finally) freeing his erection. Though to hold him lightly his gasp is sharp. He's painfully hard; his head already glistening with precum.

●As he runs he length against your folds he tries to center himself. He doesn't want to be too rough or finish terribly fast. He wants to go slow but when he catches on your entrance he can't help but thrust into you, the relief of his agony so close. You tremble but encourage him on. His name quickly becoming a soft prayer on your lips.

●He's wrapped inside you now, almost all the way. The pleasure overwhelming him he opts for quicker shallow thrusts. He's taken aback by how vocal he is as more sweet lustful nothings spill from him. Rolan's control is fading fast. He's practically shaking, slamming himself into you losing whatever rhythm he had. The sight of your face contorting with pleasure is pushing him to his end. He can feel the hot pull in his gut. And suddenly something else as.

●A chill runs over him as he feels the swelling at the base of his cock. He grasps it and pulls out not wanting to subject you to something he didn't even take the time to explain. In part he's too late. He didn't fully knot but he still comes hard, spilling thick ropes all over your stomach and thighs. Fuck, you're beautiful like this.

● He blushes deeply and panics, apologizing over and over. He didn't want it to be like this. You run your fingers through his hair and kiss him gently. You don't know that much about teifling biology but Gods you wanted to learn. Rolan tries to believe you, that this wouldn't scare you off.

● He adjusted his pants, somehow still as uncomfortable as before. Perhaps it was the sight of you dressing. How you made no move to do away with his mess before you did. He could take you again easily. But not here.

● You convince him to claim illness and leave work early. To take time to rest. He agrees wanting to lock himself away from the world. And yet he also agrees to meet you that night. Then he'd have a more level head. A chance to explain himself and perhaps to hold you in his arms for longer.

Xoxo thanks for reading friends ❤️

[xomakara]

Love In Turbulence

(re-posting from my old account seulrinnie-rinrin/xomakara-secondary)

SUMMARY | You're the maid of honor in your best friend's destination wedding, but you are single and feeling depressed about having to attend solo. Stressed and grumpy on the long flight there, you have a few too many drinks and pass out, drooling on the shoulder of your seatmate. When you arrive at the wedding, you are mortified to discover that your handsome seatmate is Yunho, the best man, and you spend the rest of the wedding weekend trying to avoid him. PAIRING | Yunho x Reader GENRE | non-idol!Yunho, wedding season yo, smut with no (maybe a little) plot, unprotected sex (wrap it up everyone!), vaginal sex, oral sex RATING | Mature, 18+, NSFW, MDNI LENGTH | 4,144 words TAGLIST | -- NETWORKS | AUTHOR’S NOTE | I got invited to a wedding next year and was kind of, somewhat inspired to write this lol. I think it feels a bit rushed hahaha. Enjoy!

"Jina!" You yanked your best friend, the bride, into the bathroom and locked the door before anyone else came in.

"Are you okay?"

"No! Why didn't I know that we were sitting together?!" You asked her.

She looked at you with a confused look. "Huh?"

"Me and Yunho!" You explained.

"Of course you're sitting at the same table with Yunho. He's Yeosang's best man, just like you’re my maid of honor." She said it as if it made sense to her, but she couldn't figure out why you weren't making any sense either.

"Jina, he's the man I told you that I drooled all over on the plane." You told her the whole story, starting from when you started feeling depressed from being single during take-off, to having one too many drinks and until you woke up later on to find yourself face down on Yunho's shoulder, drooling.

"Oh my god." Jina covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh my god."

She kept repeating herself over and over again while you finished your story. When you were done, Jina leaned against the sink counter and looked at you with wide eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"How was I supposed to know that he was Yeosang's best man?" You groaned. "He's the only one of Yeosang's friends that I haven't met yet."

"So? Who cares? Do you think Yunho will be mad that you drooled on him? If anything he'll probably be flattered."

You rolled your eyes. "There's no way he'll be flattered. Who would be flattered by someone drooling all over them?"

"And you're worried about what he thinks about you? Seriously Y/N, this isn't high school where everyone has the same circle of friends. People come here for weddings alone. You need to start meeting new people or you're going to end up an old maid at this rate." Jina scolded you. "Look, go talk to him."

"I can't do that!" You protested. "I've been running away from him ever since the reception started."

"Why? Because he looks good in a suit? Or maybe because he smells really nice and his voice makes you shiver every time you hear him speak?" Jina teased. "Come on Y/N, don't make this harder than it already is. Talk to him and get this awkward moment over with. I know Yunho. He won't think you're weird, so don't worry about that."

You sighed. "Fine."

After straightening yourself out and silently cursing Jina for making you wear this sexy cocktail dress, you headed towards the table where Yunho sat with the rest of the wedding party. Okay, you had to admit that he was stupidly, insanely hot in a suit. And you also knew that his smoky brown eyes would have caught the attention of most women around him. However, none of that mattered right now. All that mattered was getting past this first conversation with him and praying that it would go smoothly.

When you reached the table, you realized that the only empty seats were beside Yunho, so you went to sit down next to him without even thinking twice about it. As soon as your butt hit the chair, you noticed that Yunho slowly turned his head to face you. You gulped nervously and looked away quickly. This was not happening. Not after everything that happened on the plane. It was too soon. You had to get out of here. Now.

But then, before you could make a move, Yunho moved closer to you and leaned forward to place his left arm around the back of your chair. Your heart skipped a beat and you felt your cheeks burning bright red under his intense stare.

What did you say? What did you say?! But then, before you could figure out how to escape this situation, Yunho spoke. "If you're worried about what happened on the plane, don't worry about it."

His voice was smooth and silky like silk. It was almost hypnotic. The last thing you wanted to do was fall under his spell. "Okay," you replied and slowly turned your head to face him. "Thanks."

Yunho nodded and smiled slightly. His eyes scanned your body, lingering on certain parts of you. "You look really beautiful tonight."

You blinked a few times, dumbfounded by his compliment. You stared back at him and realized that he still hadn't let go of your chair. Oh god.

"Are you alright?" He asked you.

"I'm still mentally embarrassed about the whole plane incident." You said sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it." Yunho assured you. "Besides, you looked cute sleeping on my shoulder."

"Even with all the drool?" You frowned.

"Yes." Yunho confirmed. "You looked very pretty. Even with all the drool."

The corner of your lips twitched up and you realized that you actually liked hearing those words from him. So you decided to take the conversation further. "Well...I didn't know you were the best man until I saw you standing next to Yeosang earlier today. As soon as I saw you, I wanted to avoid you at all costs."

“Well if it makes you feel better, I didn’t know you were the maid of honor until a few hours ago.” Yunho laughed. “It all makes sense why you kept running when someone tried to introduce us to each other. What made you change your mind?"

"The bride." You mumbled.

Yunho laughed and you couldn't help but smile at his cute chuckle. Damn, he had such a gorgeous laugh. You could listen to it forever.

"I'm sure Jina told Yeosang because they look like they're staring at us nonstop." Yunho said, nudging you gently. "But hey, I'm glad you changed your mind and talked to me. I'm really glad to finally meet you."

Your stomach suddenly churned and butterflies started fluttering inside your chest. Even though you just officially met Yunho a few minutes ago, you were strangely attracted to him. How strange was that? You always thought of yourself as a hopeless romantic, but the feeling that you were currently experiencing right now was something entirely different. And it scared you more than anything.

"Do you want to dance?" Yunho asked, getiing up from his seat.

"And give the newlyweds even more ammo to tease us?" You asked him.

Yunho gave you a soft smile. "It's fine if you don't want to dance with me."

"But I DO want to dance with you." You countered. "I promise I won't make a fool of myself."

"Then come on." Yunho grabbed your hand and pulled you up from your chair. "Let's dance."

You knew he was tall. But you didn't think he was this tall. Sure, you were wearing like four inch heels, but he still towered over you like an oak tree. And when he wrapped his strong arms around your waist, your knees felt weak and shaky. The entire time you were walking, your heart raced faster than ever before. What the hell was wrong with you? How was it possible for someone to make you feel this way within seconds of meeting them?

The dance floor was filled with people of all ages. An upbeat song played in the background, filling the room with music and laughter. You smiled as you watched Jina and Yeosang dancing. They looked so happy. You noticed Seonghwa, Mingi and Jongho, three of the groomsmen, dancing in a corner while the other groomsmen and bridesmaids laughed.

He was so close to you. You could feel Yunho's warmth radiating from his body, causing goosebumps to form all over your skin. Every movement that he made was like poetry to your ears. Every breath he took sounded so perfect. You closed your eyes and listened to his voice wash over you. For a second, you forgot who you were, what you were doing, and who you were talking to. Everything just faded away except for Yunho and his amazing presence.

As the music slowed down and into a romantic melody, Yunho moved his hands closer to your body and slid his right hand around your lower back. You sucked in a sharp breath and pressed yourself against him, enjoying the sensation of his hard muscles against yours. Your heart pounded rapidly and the entire world disappeared except for the two of you. You were falling. Falling into this incredible dream.

"Is this alright?" Yunho whispered into your ear.

"More than alright." You breathed out, still clinging onto him for dear life. "Perfect."

He continued to hold you in his arms, swaying to the tune of the song. His hand stayed low on your back while his other hand held onto your wrist. He never let go of you.

After dancing with Yunho for a while, you excused yourself to use the restroom. On your way to the bathroom, you ran into Jina who was heading towards the restrooms as well. She stopped short and looked at you with a wide grin.

"So...looks like you and Yunho are hitting it off." She teased. "I don't even know why you were so freaked out about him earlier."

You let out a laugh and hugged her. "Thank you, Jina. For pushing me to go talk to him."

"Y/N, you're my best friend. Of course I'm going to push you to do things you're afraid of." Jina explained. "I want you to be just as happy as I am. So I know you two officially just met but what do you think of him? Yeosang and I were saying earlier that you two looked cute together."

"I don't know why..." You bit your bottom lip. "But I'm having all these weird feelings that I've never had with other guys before. Like...a sense of...home."

Jina smiled. "That's good, Y/N. Trust your gut. If something feels right, it probably is. And besides, who says you need to rush things? You should be able to enjoy this special time in your life."

"Yeah, but this isn't supposed to happen." You complained. "How does someone fall in love so fast?"

"They don't." Jina shrugged. "You just meet the person that you're meant to be with and things fall into place naturally."

You let out a small sigh and turned around to walk towards the restroom. "I never asked but did you feel this way about Yeosang?"

Jina laughed. "When I first laid eyes on Yeosang, I knew I was going to marry that man."

You stopped and turned around again. "Really?"

"Oh yeah." Jina grinned widely. "I knew we were meant to be together since the day I met him."

You smiled as well. "Wow. That's awesome."

"Now you understand what I mean about trusting your gut, right?" Jina said, clapping you on the back.

You glanced at her out of the corner of your eye and nodded. "Yeah, I think I get it."

Before you entered the restroom, Jina leaned in close and whispered into your ear, "You'll find him too, Y/N. Don't lose hope."

Once you finished using the restroom, you headed back to where you and Yunho were sitting. He let out a smile when he saw you coming. Your eyes lingered on his lips for a brief moment and then snapped back up to his face. "Did you get lost?" He asked you.

"No." You shook your head and sat down next to him. "I ran into Jina and we talked for a bit."

Yunho laughed. "Let me guess. She asked about us."

"Yep." You replied. "She said that we looked cute together."

"And do you think we look cute together?" He asked, cocking his head at you.

"A little too early to tell." You let out a laugh. "But I'd like to keep this momentum going. Only if you want to, though."

"Of course I want to keep this momentum going." Yunho replied and let out a laugh. "I'm a fan of momentum."

Before you knew it, you found yourself holding his hand. Not because you were drunk or high, but because you genuinely wanted to. Maybe he did awaken a dormant desire deep inside you, or maybe you just wanted to have fun with a cute boy and this was the best opportunity to do so. Whatever the reason was, you were completely okay with it. And surprisingly enough, neither of you let go of each other's hand.

"Mmmm..." You let out a small moan of satisfaction as you snuggled close to Yunho's body.

The air conditioner hummed softly and the windows were tightly shut, blocking out any noise from outside. There wasn't a lot of light in the room; the only source of light came from the moonlight shining through the window. But that wasn't what caught your attention. It was the warmth of his body that surrounded you that caused goosebumps to appear on your skin. You reached out to touch his shoulder and his arm tightened around your waist, preventing you from moving further. He shifted slightly to turn you on your side, wrapping his arm around your body and pulling you closer.

It had been months since Jina's and Yeosang's wedding and here you were, wrapped in Yunho's embrace. You had your first official date a few days after the wedding and it ended in the most intense kiss you had ever experienced in your life. From that moment onwards, your life was flipped upside down and you didn't regret one thing about it.

Your friends were ecstatic that you and Yunho made it exclusively official. Jina and Yeosang even joked that if you two were going to get married in the near future, that they would have to be part of your wedding party. You weren't even thinking of marriage yet. All you wanted was to enjoy your time with him without worrying about making a mistake. And the fact that you could call him 'my boyfriend' was simply icing on the cake.

When Yunho suggested that you stay the night, you jumped at the chance. As much as you loved spending time with him during the day, nothing beat being curled up with him in bed. Being this close to him made you forget everything else in the world.

You closed your eyes and sighed contently. In that moment, nothing mattered except for you and Yunho.

"Y/N?" A soft voice spoke into your ear. "Are you asleep?"

Your eyelids fluttered open and you turned to see Yunho staring at you with adoration. His hair fell into his eyes and his cheeks were rosy red. His smile made your heart skip a beat. God, he was such a beautiful man.

You shook your head, burrowing your face deeper into his chest. "Not anymore."

Yunho chuckled and lightly kissed your forehead. "You're too cute, babe."

"Mmm...keep calling me cute." You pouted playfully.

Yunho wrapped his arm tighter around you and pulled you closer. "Cute. My girlfriend is cute. So precious. Cute, precious, sweet, adorable, perfect, gorgeous, hot, sexy, beautiful. That pretty much covers every adjective there is when describing you."

Your cheeks blushed. "Gosh, Yunho. What will I ever do with you?"

"There's only one answer to that question." Yunho replied and started tracing random patterns on your stomach. "Take care of me."

Your heart skipped a beat as Yunho lowered his head and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. You leaned forward and cupped his cheek, wanting desperately to deepen the kiss. His mouth was warm and his lips felt so soft against yours. You couldn't help but moan as his tongue slowly brushed against your lips.

Your hands gripped onto his shirt and before you knew it, you were straddling his lap, moaning loudly as he continued kissing your neck. One of his hands ran up and down your thigh while the other caressed your cheek. The intensity between you two grew as the kisses became more heated. You grabbed his face with both hands and crushed your lips against his, giving him full access to explore your mouth. Both of your tongues intertwined and you moaned into his mouth, sending chills throughout your body.

His hands traveled up your legs and you quickly lifted your body off of his, leaving him breathless. "Yunho..." You breathed heavily, running your fingers through his hair.

"What do you want, baby?" He asked with lust-filled eyes.

"I need you." You confessed. "Don't you need me?"

Yunho smiled mischievously. "Every damn minute of the day."

You slid your hand underneath his t-shirt, running your fingers over his stomach. He groaned as your fingers pressed firmly against his skin. He moved his hands to cup your face and pull you in for another kiss. His fingers dug into your hips, pulling you tighter to him. Yunho sat up, tugging his shirt off before grabbing the hem of the t-shirt you borrowed from him and pulled it over your head. He threw it on the floor and admired your naked chest. You licked your lips, breathing heavily as he ran his hands up and down your sides, resting them on your breasts. He pulled your nipples into his fingertips and pinched gently, causing a low moan to escape your throat. He chuckled and planted a firm kiss on your lips.

You rolled over onto your back and pulled him on top of you, wrapping your arms around his neck. He ran his hands over your exposed skin and slowly slid your shorts and panties down your legs. Once you were completely naked, he took off his remaining clothes and lay down next to you, continuing to run his hands over your skin. He traced his fingers across your collarbone, dipping lower until he reached your breasts. You arched your back and grabbed hold of his hair, letting out a loud moan as he circled your nipples with his thumb and forefinger. His fingers pinched your nipple lightly, causing you to arch your back even more.

He licked his lips as he stared hungrily at your naked form. "God, you're so fucking sexy." He muttered under his breath.

Your breathing increased as he explored every inch of your body with his hands. You ran your fingers through his hair and watched as his dark eyes searched for yours. You tilted your head to the side and sucked on your bottom lip as he trailed kisses along your jawline. You closed your eyes and let out a moan as he covered your breast with his mouth, sucking hard on your nipple. Your nails dug into his scalp as he began to trail kisses down your stomach. He pushed himself up on his elbows and looked at you, waiting for you to tell him whether he should continue.

"Please." You whispered.

Yunho grinned wickedly and buried his face between your legs. You tensed as he ran his tongue along your wet slit, lightly brushing your clit. "Oh god..." You moaned as he placed small kisses all along your pussy, stopping briefly to tease your sensitive nub. You squeezed your thighs together, squeezing his head as his tongue ran along your clit.

He let out a little laugh against your inner thigh. "Babe, you’re going to suffocate me.”

You laughed, reaching out to grab his hair again. “I can’t help it. It feels so good.”

Yunho licked his lips. “Then don’t fight it, baby. Just enjoy the ride.”

You whimpered as he flicked his tongue against your clit, causing you to buck your hips. His mouth wrapped around your clit and suckled gently, causing an explosion of pleasure to flow through your body. You cried out and dug your fingernails into his scalp as you bucked harder and harder against his mouth.

"Yunho!" You cried out, unable to take it anymore.

Yunho removed his mouth from your dripping sex and stared at you with hooded eyes. "Let go, Y/N." He whispered. "Just let go."

With one last thrust of his tongue, you lost control and let out a scream as waves of ecstasy flooded through your entire body. You clutched Yunho's head, crying out as your orgasm exploded inside of you. Yunho continued licking your pussy until your orgasms subsided, kissing you tenderly afterwards. You laid there with your eyes closed, taking deep breaths as your heart slowed down.

Yunho propped himself up on his elbow and placed a soft kiss on your lips. "You okay?”

You nodded and placed a kiss on his cheek. "I am now."

Yunho laid next to you and you couldn’t help but straddle him again, tugging his pants down to free his cock. With one hand wrapped around his cock, you positioned yourself above him, lowering yourself slowly onto him. The way he gripped your ass made you gasp as you lowered yourself, allowing him to enter you. You held onto his shoulders tightly as he filled you up, his hips grinding against yours. You leaned forward and ran your tongue along his neck and shoulder, loving how his muscles tightened around you.

"Can't get over how good you feel inside me." You whispered.

Yunho smiled. "Feels good to be inside you, baby."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, enjoying the feeling of him filling you up. He let out a deep sigh as you rocked your hips back and forth. Every movement sent delicious sensations coursing through your body.

Yunho leaned his head back and closed his eyes, groaning softly. "Fuck, I love it when you ride me like this."

"Yunho." You gasped, biting his lower lip as you rode him faster.

"I know, baby." He whispered, tightening his grip on your waist. "I love watching you ride me. Love how you look so fucking hot riding my dick."

"Oh god..." You whispered as he pinched your nipples. "Please...Yunho...don't stop."

You could feel his cock pulsating inside of you and Yunho couldn't help but flip you over unto your back, pinning you down on the mattress. You bit your lip as he ground his hips into yours, causing another surge of pleasure to rush through your body. His mouth found its way to your breast and he kissed it roughly. He took his time sucking on your nipple, making you squirm beneath him. His teeth scraped against your sensitive skin and you arched your back, gripping his hair tightly as he pleasured your breast.

"You're driving me crazy, baby." He whispered against your skin. "Tell me what you want."

You bit your lip and glanced up at him. "Yunho...please..."

"Tell me what you want, baby." He said, still teasing your nipple with his teeth.

You let out a frustrated groan and dug your nails into his shoulders. "Yunho...fuck me...harder...please..."

He growled and slammed into you hard, burying himself to the hilt. "That's it, babe. Take my cock. Take everything I give you."

Yunho grabbed hold of your hips and pounded into you with every thrust, making you cry out in pleasure. His large hands grabbed onto your waist and held you in place as he pumped you harder and harder. You wrapped your legs around his waist, clutching his body close to yours. He moved his mouth to your ear and placed soft kisses against your earlobe. "God, you feel so fucking good. Feels so damn good."

He kept pounding into you until you felt the pressure build up inside of you. "Yunho...oh god...I'm gonna come!" You cried out as you clamped down on him, milking his cock.

"Fuck! Fuck! !" He yelled, pumping his hips faster as he came inside of you. You cried out as you climaxed with him, your body trembling as you fought to keep your legs still. You clung onto him tightly as he slowly pulled out of you, gasping for air as he collapsed next to you.

Yunho looked down at you with glazed eyes. "That was...one hell of a fuck." He whispered, caressing your cheek with his hand.

You laughed weakly and shook your head. "Mmmhmm."

"Glad I could be of service, ma'am." He teased, stroking your bare hip with his thumb.

"Uh huh." You giggled, running your fingers through his hair. "Anytime."

You snuggled closer to him and he wrapped his arm around you. "How'd I ever get so lucky?" He whispered against your temple.

You cuddled closer to him and ran your hand down his chest. "We both know it wasn't luck." You whispered. "This has always been meant to be."

Yunho smiled. "Meant to be. Sounds right to me."

"You know Seonghwa invited us to his wedding..." You looked up at him. "You wanna go?"

"Depends." Yunho gave you a teasing smile. "You gonna drool on me again?"

"Maybe..." You smirked.

Yunho laughed and pulled you into a tight hug. "Wouldn't miss it for the world, babe."

[ahgasegotarmy116]

He Doesn't Deserve You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter Three

Summary: You feel guilty about having a night out and hope to cover up your tracks as best you can Pairing: Noona reader x Jeon Jungkook (She's 28 and he's 22) Word Count: 2.1k~ Warnings: Yändere, smut, explicit language pretty much it lol a/n: I hope you guys like it! I'm literally horrible at writing smut but I wanted to show another side to how things can be with him sometimes (I'm saying him because I'm not gonna spoil it when you can just read it lol) regardless hope this doesn't disappoint 🫢 Requested by @kkusadmirer 💜

"Girl who was that?" Rae asks, when she walk over to my side of the bar after Jungkook left. 

"His name is Jungkook and honestly I don't really know much about him. He caught me off guard and was asking me a bunch of questions that I didn't really think to ask him any" I say, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "You think he's cute don't you?" she asks taking note of my shyer demeanor while thinking about him. 

"He is attractive and dreamy but I'm married" I say flashing the ring at her in a similar fashion as I had done with Jungkook. "Dreamy? Really?" she teases, snorting at my description. "I'm sorry okay he's the first nice guy I've actually talked to in a while since my husband and I got married" I say, resting my elbows on the bar and throwing my face in my hands. 

"From what I heard, doesn't really sound like he's all that good of a husband" she says, not bothering to spare my feelings. "He's not that bad" I mumble, scarcely believing my words with every effort I put in to defend him.

"If you've gotta say it like that after only two people have said otherwise I don't really think you've got much going for you" she says setting a glass of water in front of me, already seeing signs of a need to stop drinking for the night.

"I mean, he's all I've ever known. He was my first serious boyfriend, my first everything if I'm being honest. We met in college and really hit it off and everything just felt right. After we graduated he asked me to marry him and it felt like a fairy tale ending you know?" I say, swirling around the ice in my cup in an effort to avoid her gaze.

"Sounds like it didn't turn out the way you thought it was going to though" she says, clearly feeling sorry for me. 

"Things between us are fine" I say sitting back up and clearing my throat before taking a drink of water to hopefully help me swallow down this lump in my throat. Getting a reality check from two perfect strangers with them only knowing the tip of the iceberg of my marriage has been hard to accept to say the least. 

"What's his name anyways? I might've seen him before if he likes to go out sometimes" she asks, coming back over with a pitcher to fill up my water, encouraging me to drink more. 

"Taehyung, well Tae for short" I say, hoping and praying that the name won't ring a bell. "Got a picture of him?" she asks, leaning in closer when I pull out my phone. "Shit" she says under her breath as soon as she sees him. 

"What?" I ask pulling it back as though her words had stung me. "He's come here a few times with some friends of his. They're one of the rowdier groups that comes by so we've had to kick them out on occasion" she says clearing her throat at the end, almost as if she's trying to hold something back. 

"If you know anything else about him please tell me" I implore, refusing to be in the dark about this if she knows. "He's gone 'home' with a few girls here" she says putting home in quotes since he's obviously never brought them back to our place. "Do you know how many?" I ask, knowing that I really don't want to know the answer. 

"I've lost track..." she answers, hating that she had to be the one to reveal this to me. "Did you know?" she asks with her brows pinched together. "That he's been sleeping around? Yeah, I know" I say taking a big gulp of my water as if it were the solution to this fucked up life I'm living. 

"Why haven't you left?" she asks, genuinely concerned. "He's my husband" I say with glossy eyes but then clear my throat again to hopefully curb these emotions. "And? He's a dick" she says, continuing with her efforts to never pull punches. "You don't know him like I do" I say, standing up and grabbing my purse to go. 

"Just, be careful okay?" she implores, placing her hand on top of mine before I get too far. "I will" I say and give her a sad smile before walking out and waiting for the cab I called a few moments ago. 

~~~~~~

Walking into the house I'm relieved to see that Taehyung is no where to be found, the lights still having been turned off from when I had locked up. 

Taking off my shoes, I quickly put them in the closet in an effort to quickly cover my tracks and I run into the bedroom soon after that. I take off my clothes and throw them into the washer to again avoid any suspicions because I don't want him even remotely knowing that I managed to leave the house on my own again.

Walking into the bathroom to take a shower as well I see that somehow some of the makeup I had applied rubbed off and I was unknowingly sporting one of the hickeys Taehyung had left. I look at it in the mirror a bit closer, starting to wonder how long it's been showing. 'Did Jungkook see it?' I question,  really hoping the answer is no even though he knows I'm married, it's not something I want to show off.

It could've been worse though, he could've seen the other bruises I have that clearly show evidence of much more than just rough sex. 'How would he have reacted? Would he have said something?' I continue, asking myself question after question, soon starting to regret my decisions of going out tonight. 

Did I have a good time? Sure. But it doesn't make up for the amount of fear and guilt I'm going to feel if Taehyung finds out. Will he do something? Will he get angry? Will he leave? Knowing him he would accuse me of cheating on him even though I'm the one who confirmed my suspicions. 

He, like Rae is someone that doesn't pull punches literally and figuratively. It's something that I've leaned to live with, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

"Hey" I hear him say softly while opening the bathroom door, scaring me and not even realizing how lost in thought I had been. To the point of not even realizing that he had gotten home. 

"Hi" I say timidly, not knowing what his next move might be. 

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" he questions in a mischievous tone, already taking his shirt off. I open the glass door as a way to invite him in and I hold out my hand waiting for him, knowing I really have no choice in the matter. 

"Hi beautiful" he says after getting in, placing his hands on my hips and leaning down to kiss me softly on the lips. I sigh into the kiss, thankful he's back home again and showing his softer side to me again, clearly trying to make up for how we had left things the last time we saw each other. 

"I missed you" he says in a husky voice leaning down further to place a few open mouthed kisses on my neck marking me again, no doubt to make up for the ones that had started to fade. "Missed you" I say through a breathy tone then my breath hitches moments later when he bites down on my shoulder.

"You smell so sweet baby" he says running his nose along the length of my neck before making his way back up to kissing me. "It's my" *kiss* "new" *kiss* "body wash" I say, trying my best to answer but he purposefully works against me, loving the struggle I put up.

"I like it. Buy it again for me when you run out okay? I want my pretty wife smelling like this all the time" he says before flipping me around and pressing my chest agains the wall.

"You gonna be good and let me take you in here?" he asks grinding his dick against my ass making my breath pick up, not expecting this drastic change in behavior. I nod my head with my cheek against the tiles. He presses his chest flush up against my back, pushing me up against the wall even harder, making my chest feel sore as my nipples rub up against the cool surface, making me whine from the sensation.

"Aw look at you, so needy and ready to be full" he say, leaning back a bit and running his finger along my slit, feeling how I'm already clenching around nothing and dripping with arousal as the water falls on my back in a steady stream. "Fuck you look so hot right now" he says looking at my face and dragging his eyes down my figure before spreading my legs a bit and making moves to put it in. 

"Wait" I whimper. "Don't worry, you can take it" he says, placing a kiss on my shoulder before sliding the tip in and making me take in a sharp breath at the intrusion, him continuing to push himself further and further inside until he's bottomed out. 

He enjoys the feeling of my walls spasming around him as I feel the burn from trying to get used to him again. It isn't like this often, he usually loves to take his time prepping and teasing me until I'm begging for more but he had an almost urgency to be inside me this time. 

"Fuck" he says as he starts to move in and out of me, watching the way my ass moves with every thrust and is addicted to the moans that come from me naturally, being caught off guard by all of this and not expecting this to happen tonight. 

"Feels s-so good" I say, clawing at the walls for something to hold onto, knowing there's nothing there for me. He takes notice and he places his hands on top of mine, thrusting in and out with only his own hips supporting mine as he growls in my ear. 

"Been dying to fuck this pretty little cunt all day. Then I come home and you're in the shower making it so easy for me to just slip it in, practically begging for my cock" he says as he slows down his thrust but puts more force behind each one. 

"Isn't that right? You just want to be good for me and take it, let me have my way with you" he says pulling out and flipping me around, enjoying the dick drunk look on my face. He lifts one of my legs up and wraps it around his waist, pounding into me harder making me grab onto his neck and pull him in for a kiss, silencing my moans, making him swallow them as he coaxes more and more out of me. 

"S-shit" he stutters and tells me to jump, wrapping my other leg around his waist as well so he can thrust into me harder. I clench around him when he wraps his mouth around one of my sensitive buds, hard and begging for stimulating. 

"Fuck, more" I whine, desperately needing release. "You wanna cum?" he taunts, letting go of my throbbing bud with a pop. "Tae please" I moan digging my nails into his shoulders. He groans at the feeling and grips onto my waist digging his fingers into them, no doubt leaving bruises.

Giving me a few more thrusts he has my eyes rolling back and my toes curling as my orgasm hits me like a ton of bricks with him still fucking into me, helping me ride it out before he cums a couple minutes later. 

Slipping out and sliding me down the wall and back on my feet he leans up against me while our breathing mixes with the sound of the water still falling all around us. He places a few soft kisses on my shoulder before pushing off the wall and placing both of his hands on my cheek, kissing me softly, helping me slowly come back down and leaving my my mind foggy and drunk on him. 

"I love you" he says when he breaks apart from my lips. "I love you too" I smile, humming in contentment and feeling so good, loving that despite everything he loves me no matter what. 

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[ellaa-writes]

Henlo!! I just saw ur doctor/medic reader story and i feel like they would all want to hear the absolute crazy cases and gossip from reader

Im a student and i work in a large hospital/shadowing some doctors aswell and someday’s these crazy things happen randomly. In the least expected ways. From getting a sudden code stroke to seeing 🪱🪱on body parts to hospital staffs gossips in the med room. Its so random sometimes.

Imagine doctor reader casually telling the time she caught so and so cheating in an empty room in between 2 codes. And shes so chill about it like shes seen and heard enough but the Kortac officers r eating it up like listening to Nurse John’s podcasts😂

Reader: yk this reminds me of the time i did my trauma rotation in—

Konig: wait! Let me get my snacks and tea👀☕️

Hello!! Thank you <3 This is so silly I love it. Decided to have fun with it. It's kinda gross but hey that's what happens. Lol.

It's going to be a rough day, you thought. Not even 2 hours into your shift you had two concussed idiots sitting in your waiting room. This is gonna be a long one, you started at noon and won't be done till 4am the next morning.

Clutching your coffee you prayed for a miracle, an alien ship or a metor. Either one would do.

Later that evening, specifically dinner time. You were the last to arrive, having to help hold down a patient as another medic stitched up a gash on his forehead.

"I know, I know." you said as you sat you lunch down in front of your chair. Running off to grab a much needed coffee. It was your turn for the over night shift. It wasn't a bad shift, just babysitting the wounded soldiers that are currently being held. Coming back and setting yourself into your spot, digging into your food without a cause to the wind.

"You guys won't believe my day." you started off, slurping down your heart spaghetti. "Some rookies decided to play chicken and now they both have a concussion. And one probably memory loss. Couldn't even tell me his name." you shook your head, recalling the incident. "Than Hutch came in, complaining that he can feel worms crawling in him. I had to explain four times to that dense mother fucker that worms can not survive stomach acid." you stopped to take a big gulp of coffee. "But he wouldn't listen, said it wasn't in his stomach but inside his skin. Ran some blood tests and no hallucinogenic. But he could have fooled me." you didn't realise you were blabbing until you looked up from your plate to see a few of your team members surpressing their laughs.

"What?" you asked, mouth full of spaghetti. "Why don't you chew a bit more." one of them offered. Making the other laugh, "Oh fuck off." you spat. "Anyways, had to give Hutch an xray just to prove there's no damn worms in him." you explained.

"An xray? Does that-" you cut them off. "No, not at all. But it shut him up." they all bursted out laughing. "It reminds me of a patient I had back at the ER. Complaining about his ass itching. The other nurses weren't taking him seriously. Just sent him to the bathroom with some baby wipes." you stopped abruptly, this might not be a good dinner story.

"Oh come on Katze, don't get all shy on us now." König said, you didn't even notice he was there. You also didn't notice the rest of the mess hall getting quiet to listen to your story.

"Oh, well we're eating." you tried to explain but was met with loud booing. "Fine, fine." you yelled back. Wiping your mouth, your food finished, you pushed the tray away from you.

"Ok, so they sent him to the bathroom and he came back later saying he can still feel them."

"Them?" Horangi interrupted, and was followed by shushing. "Damn, sorry. Continue." he slinked back into his chair.

" So they put him in a room, told him to strip from the waist down. Another trainee and myself were assigned to this case along with a RN. She had him lay on the side has she spread his ass cheeks. Like you would a child." you stopped from dramatic affect. Watching as your tream and the rest of mess hall looked on in anticipation.

"We saw nothing. So she took a swab, had me spread this grown man's cheeks as she inserted it into the recum, shoveling out what ever was in side. Still nothing." a few people got up and left and others choking back a gag.

"She wet had him pop a squat over the trash can and cough. Sure enough a worm came shooting out. So did some green chunks, thankfully they were just some cucumbers. Guess the guy stole a cucumber from his neighbors garden not knowing it was infested with worms. He shoved the thing right up and it broke. He was like that for 2 weeks, worms up the ass. Still not the craziest thing I experienced, let me tell your that." you reached for your tray, but König took it for your instead.

"A cucumber up the ass?" Horangi asked. "I've seen people shove all sorts of thing up their butt. Idk what it is or why but it's way to common." you threw your finished coffee cup in the trash.

"Sorry I gotta get back. The results for mister chicken should be in by now." you said you goodbyes and waved to others, rushing out of the lunch hall.

"What a women." König said, hearts in his eyes.

[bluewhitehues]

Hug | Kim Mingyu

Summary: You secretly like your bestfriend chan,he has no idea and sets you up on a blind date with his friend and hyung Mingyu.

Genre: Angst? (Little bit), comfort, strangers to lovers, fluff

Pairing : Idol Kim Mingyu × (f) reader

Warning: mentions of anxiety

Part 3

The drive to your apartment was quite awkward, mingyu dropped you off and you guys parted ways saying bye.

There was a longing in Mingyu's heart.. he really had prayed and hoped that you both will get along, may be will go on few more dates to know each other . But alas that didn't happen.

After going home you showered and made yourself some quick dinner ...you were eating when you got Chan's call, at that moment all you wanted to do was curse at him shout at him so you picked up his call, " you should've told me if you had a death wish why pull such a stunt chan? " you were talking so calmly he got scared "hey why are you talking like that you're scaring meeee"

"YOU SHOULD BE SCARED CAUSE THE MOMENT I SEE YOU IM GOING TO KILL YOU, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DID , YOU SENT ME ON A DATE WITH KIM MINGYU DO YOU KNOW WHO HE'S? LIKE YOU SHOULD'VE ATLEAST WARNED ME , IM NOT A CELEBRITY IM A NORMAL PERSON-"

He cut you off "FIRST OF ALL STOP SHOUTING..and what's wrong with it if he's a celebrity and you're not? I'm also an idol and you're bestfriends with me I don't see any problem here? And about the other thing ..y/n I'm really sorry I lied about it being a blind date but if I had told you you'd have said no.. he really likes you ,that idiot thought we both are a thing can you imagine lol, and then I guessed that he likes you and he didn't deny so I came up with this plan ...also he thought you knew and said yes to the date with him ,he didn't know okayy? He might be coming for me I'm so dead ...see.. I worked so hard for you and you're not even grateful-,"

You huffed loudly "Grateful my a$$.. you should not do this with anyone's feelings chan he must've felt so bad he thought I said yes and was all excited do you know how bad Im feeling?"

Now chan got alarmed , "hold on, why are you feeling so bad? WAIT TF UP DID YOU BY ANY CHANCE SAY NO TO HIM ??? I SWEAR TO GOD Y/N-"

And now in this one fine moment your pretty brain realised you gotta tell chan ..AND WHAT WILL YOU TELL HIM ???? OMG ...I said no to Mingyu because I like you? Because I like someone else? He knows literally everyone in your life and would not believe your lie and now you're freaking out you don't even have mingyu's number, what if you tell one lie and mingyu tells another you'd be caught right away so no you need to talk to Mingyu.

So you blurt out, "N-NOOO we just- we just went through it...AND OMG I'M REMEMBERING IT JUST NOW I left my purse in his car and I don't even have his number IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT send me his number right nowww" and you saved the moment just like that (you hoped it didn't sound too fake or extra)

Chan thinks something is fishy but thinks he'll find out anyway so he doesn't press you anymore.."you couldn't even ask for his number yourself seriously y/n you've got no game-" That brat thrives on teasing and annoying you.

"if you don't shut up and just send me his number right now you won't only have to worry about mingyu coming for you... sleep with one eye open cause I'm also coming for you-"

He laughs at you, " ok, okay let's all calm down..check your messages I sent the number..also you owe me full explanation and details tomorrow"

"whateverrrr bye."

"hey atleast tell me how was the date."

"NO.. someone once said *That's all you're getting* " you quoted his words from when you asked him about who is gonna be your date.

He whined about how that wasn't fair before you ended the call.

You were nervous as fuvk because what are you going to say to Mingyu it already feels bad enough but now you've to come up with a plan to tell chan. So before chan could go to Mingyu,you called him.

After dropping you off Mingyu went to his and wonwoo's shared apartment, where as soon as he entered wonwoo asked him about the date. Mingyu said it was okay, good, wonwoo then asked him why does he look so sad ..mingyu said he doesn't think it'll work out that's why ..and asks wonwoo to not to tell others about anything because he knew just like that all of them will know, that means chan will know as well and he promised you he would not let him know,he'll keep it a secret.

He was about to go to bed when you called him he was surprised but he picked up the call.

"uh Hello Mingyu? It's me y/n ...sorry ,did I disturb you?"

"Hey no you didn't ..what's up everything ok? "

"yeah everything's fine just uh Chan called me actually and I don't know what to tell him..I just I thought we should tell him the same thing so he wouldn't doubt ...I'm sorry I feel terrible to trouble you like this".

"I told you not to say sorry ..you can talk to me comfortably just how you talk to your friends it's ok .. "

"okay I won't say sorry again."

He smiled a little ..he has never talked to you that much, that too on call it's first time hearing your voice..he thinks you sound so sweet and he wishes he'd get to talk to you more often.."hmm that's good ..also about chan what options do we have?"

"if I say I like someone else he won't believe me so that's out of the option ..and If I say I said no he'll ask me the reason.." you sighed "I can't seem to find any reason to tell him"

"I see um then...we can just say we decided to be just friends? "

"that sounds good" you thought that's the safest answer.

"yeah soo.. is it ok for us to be friends? " He really wanted you to say yes .. he'd manage with just that.. being your friend.

You can't see him yet you can picture his hopeful eyes..."will you be ok?..with being my friend" You ask.

Mingyu thinks a little ..he thinks he'll take it as much as close he'll be able to stay with you he'll take it, it is dangerous but right now his heart,mind, soul everything just decides that yes they want it..

"Honestly, I've mostly seen you from distance yet I thought you were amazing so..I...I would like to be your friend and who knows someday you'll realise I'm hotter than chan and finally confess to me ..wow I would like to see that day." He's mischievously smiling right now and then he hears it your laugh..one of his most favourite things in the world ..he could hear it forever.

You laugh.."Mingyu seriously" he also laughs a little with you.

"I'd like to be your friend too mingyu but ...I know how it's like to be friends with someone you like..and I wouldn't recommend that ...it can be hard sometimes." You don't want to think about those moments again when you're trying to move on but you wouldn't want mingyu to feel like that as well.

He sighs," well I'm a tough guy " he's not...but he'd do anything to get to know you better ..he doesn't want to regret anything in his life.

"Ok then it's settled ... we're friends from now on"...you're smiling now

"yeah we are ...I like it" he's smiles softly.

.

.

Author's note: Hey everyone this is it for today, hope you enjoy it❤️

Part 4 👇🏻

[phxntomhives]

"The parade of battlers" analysis

SINCE NO ONE IS DOING THIS??? WHY??? I WILL DO IT

Hopefully my wrong takes will trigger someone and you all will get a decent analysis

Eng lyrics because I don't know japanese are from the official music video! Also warning, English isn't my mother tongue.

Lost in an unacceptable tragedy

An unfading warmth quivers blue in the depth of my eyes

Stifling impurities leave keloid scars and

Even now, still mourn for days gone by, never to come back

Staking my life, spitting blood and vomit

All I want to do is lead a beautiful life

But why can't you hear

Me telling you not to stumble

Love turning on its head, fiction caught in a tangle

Say bye bye to mundane concepts

See how the compensated formless stand imposingly

Their presence is a sight to behold

Rip apart, drag and reveal

Throw away all inferiorities

Even the raw emotions of cursing someone

Take them in like an offering

Just skilled at pretending to be human

Searching for those other than monsters

Like the blue shimmer of

A star of the first magnitude

Far from having enough faith

This utterly ridiculous destiny won't retreat

Fill the air with the echo of the marching boots

Let the parade of the lonely ones begin now

Everything in this world, there isn't much

Difference between the atrocious or noble as you think

Somewhere up in the sky, someone is making selections

To ensure the cycle of birth and passing is upheld

Though we have prayed and knelt down

Our prayers have been cremated

And ignored with a "So what?"

So kind

A colorless encounter, pupils of glass

Thought they may shatter to pieces,

You laugh your head off, saying, "you must be kidding"

You give the finger as you spew poison and let it all out

Scorched, boiling and trembling

A blazing fire from the past still smolders

That remorse still within me

I'll burn and retaliate in full

There is no such thing as eternity, so

There is no ending until all turns to ash

Then why not play

With fire in a refined manner?

No more need for empty rhetorics

Such hollow, scathing criticism

Burn this ceaseless stone-throwing

The parade of the lonely ones has just begun

There's no love, no love, there's no love there

There's nothing, there's nothing, there's no truth

There's just one, just one

In this world, just one person, one person

Question fanatically and

Live the shit out of this world

ANALYSIS UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE THIS BITCH IS LONG

ALSO MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA!!!

Yana, dear, are you sure this is the intro for the Weston college arc??? And not the blue cult??? LIKE, REALLY REALLY SURE??? My comprehension of text can be lacking in more than one way and I just followed the vibe but... I don't think I am that wrong on some points? You are seeing it too, right?

I feel like the song has a mix of present, past and future along with different POVs and I hope I have been able to separate them well.

The colors are just to show the lyrics and i changed it because pretty.

What I can actually connect to Weston Arc

"Then why not play with fire in a refined manner? / No more need for empty rhetorics Such hollow, scathing criticism. / Burn this ceaseless stone-throwing" Which could very much be related to O!Ciel's pyromaniac episode lol. He didn't forget

"The parade of the lonely ones has just begun" : at this point the "parade of the lonely" could very much be the parade of the bizzare dolls considering the amount of reference there is to them. And it would be nice considering in this case the sentence is right after the stone-throwing Purple house, since the students were "transfered" in the there.

If the previous point is correct then also here, we are talking of the bizzare dolls: "This utterly ridiculous destiny won't retreat / Fill the air with the echo of the marching boots / Let the parade of the lonely ones begin now". I guess the "echo of the marching boots" could be the sound the dolls made before getting free during the midnight tea party? As for why they don't retreat well, we have seen they aren't exactly rational for now.

"Scorched, boiling and trembling / A blazing fire from the past still smolders / That remorse still within me /I'll burn and retaliate in full": this could be a description of what O!Ciel is feeling in general. His determination coming from everything that happened is still going strong.

Onestly, these are the only thing I can see strictly related to the present and this arc in particular lol. Everything else goes deeper.

Memories of the past

This part will likely make the least sense, because I am still sobbing over the whole past ok.

"Lost in an unacceptable tragedy Even now, still mourn for days gone by, never to come back": We all know the past. The safest bet is that O!Ciel is mourning, but is he? He never had the time to mourn, he moved immediately to revenge and working for the queen. So either this is just to hit us in the feeling, or maybe it's my favourite victim of this analysis: Undertaker. Could it be him? Possibly, but this being O!Ciel breaks my heart more. I am excluing R!Ciel because at the moment of Weston arc his version should not be that complex. And Sebastian is Sebastian.

"Staking my life, spitting blood and vomit /All I want to do is lead a beautiful life / But why can't you hear / Me telling you not to stumble": I feel like this either O!Ciel talking to himself, admitting that he would like to just be happy but still forcing himself to be strong and act to revenge his family. Or, high on copium, the first part is O!Ciel's wishes and the second part is O!CIel using the R!Ciel allucination make himself stronger (I doubt it, but it adds to the sadness).

"Rip apart, drag and reveal / Throw away all inferiorities /Even the raw emotions of cursing someone /Take them in like an offering": I got the epiphany after several times of reading this and yes it's about revenge hatred yadda yadda yadda. But what if, in particular, it's related to the moment when O!Ciel summoned Sebastian? I think it's the only time I remember "offering" being mentioned/relevant in the manga. O!Ciel is throwing everything away for revenge, assuming a new identity. So this could be either O!Ciel talking to himself during that desperate time. Or, just to hurt myself more, him allucinating again a conversation with R!Ciel where R!Ciel is the one that is saying all this. I will go cry now, brb.

"Everything in this world, there isn't much /Difference between the atrocious or noble as you think / Though we have prayed and knelt down / Our prayers have been cremated /And ignored with a "So what?" " : God, this section is killing me. Memories of when the twins were captured, For them and all the other children, it was an atrocious experience, while the nobles were truly thinking they were in the right, that there was nothing wrong in what they were doing. They believed to be noble enough to be above everything and ignored absolutely everything in regards to the children.

Undertarker is not being subtle. Like at all.

Somewhere up in the sky, someone is making selections/To ensure the cycle of birth and passing is upheld: here I am conflicted. Undertaker is sure making selections when he is creating the bizzare dolls "you get to be revived. you don't". But at the same time he is not uphelding anything. He is doing the opposite infact. Unless this is supposed to just describe the Shinigami's role to show how Undertaker is going in the opposite direction.

There's just one, just one/In this world, just one person, one person/Question fanatically and/Live the shit out of this world: we only really see two characters question stuff: O!Ciel with the murder of his family and Undertaker with the Cinematic record ways of working. Now, i don't really see O!Ciel "question fanatically" and "live the shit out of this world", while we can debate about how "fanatically" he is searching for the culprits, how are you telling me he is living his best life? He is surronded by trauma, has to go on a mission for the queen every other day, has to live as his dead twin and in this specific arc he has to act all cutesy and adorable when he hates it. He is far from any best life I am more surprised he didn't become histerical yet honestly. The one that IS living his best life is Undertaker (well... more or less). In the Weston Arc he did say he was enjoying being the headmaster. Plus he could make some more esperiments on Derek&co which, on top of that, were mostly successful! Do you know how much serotonin a succesful experiment gives you? A LOT. TRUST ME.

Bizzare Dolls (BD for short because I am lazy)

Well, ofc they are the protagonist of the animation, they are everywhere in the song too.

"An unfading warmth quivers blue in the depth of my eyes / Stifling impurities leave keloid scars and": Are the BD warm? Idk, but I don't think so? A body is warm when the blood is running because the heart is pumping it. Do BD have a working heart tho? I doubt the original version do, but what about the new and improved versions? Agares could have probably be our best bet but he always wore gloves (even when he was alive) so we don't really know.

Warmth aside, what I am quite confident IS a reference to the BD is the keloid scars. I did a reseach and a keloid scar is a "scar keeps growing and becomes bigger than the original wound. They are developed after a skin injury". The scars we have seen are O!Ciel's scar from when they marked him, or the BD's "surgery" scars?

Ofc it could be just metaphorical about the trauma just keep on growing in O!Ciel. Maybe it's more this one but again, I am take things directly

"Love turning on its head, fiction caught in a tangle/Say bye bye to mundane concepts/See how the compensated formless stand imposingly/Their presence is a sight to behold": cambridge dictionary say that "turn something on its head means to cause something to be the opposite of what it was before". Apparently, there are many things that are the opposite of love, depending on your source: hatred, fear, indifference. I think in this case, since we are talking of the BD, we can use indifference. They aren't moved by real emotions at this moment (Weston arc) and even later, they are probably fake emotions based on fake memories (from the orphanage children but I will not elaborate, other theories have done it better). Fear could also work since well, most people are rightfully terrified of them. Being far away from mundane concepts? I would say they fill this box. And they sure are a sight to behold, nothing against it. What confuses me is the "compensated formless" I don't have any idea of what it could mean

"Just skilled at pretending to be human / Searching for those other than monsters + Like the blue shimmer of / A star of the first magnitude / Far from having enough faith": We are looking at the current arcs here in the first lines. The one skilled at pretending to be human and searching for things is Sebastian (it can't be O!Ciel because he isn't pretending to be human). What he is searching is the headmaster, that we know being Undertaker and it ends up bringing with him, again, the BD. In particular, it specifically mentions R!Ciel. You know what is the name of the biggest star of first magnitude that is currently known? Yeah, you are correct, it's Sirius. And we have known Ciel is Sirius for a while now. As to why the star does not have lot's of faith, do I have to remind you "Dear God, why are you smiling?".

"So kind /A colorless encounter, pupils of glass /Thought they may shatter to pieces,/ You laugh your head off, saying, "you must be kidding"": Listen, I have seen a couple of people mentioning "oh it's a reference to monochrome no kiss". But I don't think that's the case, not completely at least. I think this is a parallel of O!Ciel and Sebastian's meeting to R!Ciel and Undertaker. First because one of the people involved is laughing, and Sebastian smirks but has never really laughed out loud, the one that spends his time laughing is Undertaker. Second is the pupils of glass that can shatter to pieces. I wonder if it means that R!Ciel could be using glass balls for his eyes? When we have seen his not-completed form they look pretty empty and they are made of soft tissue, so maybe Undertaker changed the "real eyes" with glass? Idk. The shattering could also indicate the fragility of the BD that are still far from perfect.

There is no such thing as eternity, so /There is no ending until all turns to ash this made me scream Undertaker's BD because we know he needs a full budy for the creation of his dolls and bringing back to life his loved ones. And we know he can't bring back Vincent because his body was too ruined by the fire. So fire IS the only ending in which a person can just die with no possible interference from a Shinigami with resurrection intent.

Tragedy twins

I had no idea of these lines other than, it just fits the vibes. Until I remembered how much Yana likes to mirror the twins.

There's no love, no love, there's no love there: this one is R!Ciel singing. Undertaker may have started to work on the BD out of grief for his loved ones, but it feels like it turned into an obsession.

There's nothing, there's nothing, there's no truth: let's add some angst because this one was not enough. O!Ciel never gets to discover the truth behind the murder of his family before he dies. Maybe we, as readers, can see it. Maybe from Sebastian's eyes. But yeah, we don't have a guarantee that O!Ciel will ever know anything, he could just die with Sebastian being unable to prevent it (either because it happened due to a Shinigami, or maybe an angel or god knows what).

But of course, we can also swap them! O!Ciel was so confident people wouldn't have liked him coming back alive and so started the whole identity swap, so he could still feel like the love he is receiving now is fake, since it's built on a lie. While R!Ciel's truth could now be either the murder or the family again, or the fact that he isn't "real" now. He is a BD, his action and thoughts are based on memories that are likely not his own. He has become a fake, a lie. "There is no truth" because that is a BD similar to him, and not necessary him.

I am exhausted I haven't thought about something this much since my thesis. Yes some of them are quite the stretch, hopefully I will trigger a smart person and finally we get a good analysis. Meanwhile you have to deal with me. Feel free to add your opinions pls, I love hearing theories.

PSA: I have formatted this half on computer and half of phone so idk how weird the formatting is I will check again tomorrow, now I'm tired of rereading it.

[kyogre-blue]

In a big rush, I've caught up to RDCH manhwa, up to chapter 92.

There's a lot that happened. As always, the pace is breakneck, haha. Anyway, there's a few points I wanted to note.

First, I appreciate the respect for just punching someone in the face. This is why I respect SQH the most as Lostbelt King, because at the end of LB3, they go to punch it out with Chaldea. Here, in chapter 85, Hugo punches it out with Taurus and it's great. And then, Libra also eventually resorts to just directly punching Lee Geon, which is hilarious.

Speaking of Libra, she's done a bang up job as a villain. Very funny that she stripped at the end to the same level as Lee Geon. Even her top! In general, I feel like... this manhwa really has a foot fetish. The guys always lose their shirts, sure, but they also lose everything below the knee too, only keeping their hulk modesty shorts. But you also get Yooha losing her boots, while her jeans are otherwise fine, so it feels like they just really wanted to get her barefoot lol (Speaking of Yooha, I wonder if they're going to circle back to the evil god in her arms, or if this is it and it'll be considered that she's gotten control of it.)

Speaking of Hugo, the first couple chapters after the manhwa restarted were quite rough, since it was more flashbacks of Suffering(tm). Hugo really lives a different genre than everyone else sometimes, rip. I do like how he goes wild against Taurus. He and Lee Geon are very similar sometimes. They can have a similar mean sense of humor, and occasionally Hugo enjoys battle in a similar way.

There were also some moments for Yooha, Steven, Kevin... feels like a fairly okay support cast, which I like. Though of course, Lee Geon is the only useful one, haha

That said, the big ending for the Libra arc felt pretty cohesive. I can't really complain about the direction.

There are several interesting points that were elucidated. First, Lee Geon's moral compass is sometimes a bit hard to pin down, but he pretty directly states what he is opposed to: disregarding "the safety of others." Everything else is whatever, but people shouldn't be put in danger meaninglessly.

(In my fanfic concept development, this would mean... you can tell he loses it if he puts innocent people in danger. But for additional consideration, Lee Geon is not at all shy about going to down on anyone who crosses him and directly threatens murder in the novel. So you could say him losing it would come from the direction of starting to see innocent people as having wronged him. Hehehe)

Second, there's an interesting... hm, undercurrent? that is introduced here. Steven says that he is willing to sacrifice "everything Leo has accumulated" because otherwise humanity will lose "everything they've accumulated" in bold text. At the same time, Libra tries to claim that this world belongs to the divine gods, while "Baron Helmet" said the same for the unknown civilization when they invaded. There's this concept of accumulating resources or taking them by force.

Third, they also bring up several times that "the weak don't even get the right to choose" and "only the strong get to ask questions," which... is certainly in line with a battle series, but... yeah. Yooha does angle Leo's ideal of the strong survive as "the strong have a duty to protect the weak," and in a sense, all the weak people "choose" Lee Geon, which you can interpret as flashback Steven being wrong. But still... it's all good to say that Ophiuchus respects those who are willing to put everything on the line to become stronger, but most people simply do not have the necessary potential or opportunity. All they can do is choose who to pray to, but this assumes that there is a good choice to begin with. It's all a kind of concept that I don't really like, though I won't say that it's incoherent or anything.

Anyway, all that said, the last chapter for now is really something. Ah, Lee Geon making that face, damn... We finally see him get a bit stripped down emotionally. Yes, give me that backstory to add to my Lee Geon microwave spinning.

[handkinkbis]

Ep 15 thoughts, the good & the bad behind the cut:

The good:

So that dressing room scene was muy caliente and I loved it. Loved their couch kiss and all the cute Shinhong scenes including Shinyu trailing after his girl everywhere and neglecting his work duties to do so (lol, how many hours of actual work has he clocked in). I love loser Shinyu the most and him reassuring that Hongjo is pretty in everything was very sweet of him. :3

I adore Ms. Ma and that proposal scene was as messy as it was hilarious. Her reaction was realistic. I'm glad she didn't allow herself to get peer pressured into marriage by her coworkers. Public proposals are such a horrible idea. :D DO NOT DO IT UNLESS YOU'VE DISCUSSED MARRIAGE WITH THE PERSON YOU'RE PROPOSING TO.

Eunwol was her shrewd self, godda love halmeuni. Halmeuni has zero fucks to give.

I'm glad Hongjo's coworkers (the duo of girls) are being kinder towards Hongjo. I hope they can eventually be proper friends.

The bad:

This writers team took all their notes from 2010s kdramas. We have The Mean Girl (Nayeon) and the persistent stalking (by the Gardener) that's been dragged on for far too long. Despite bodyguards, cops and pepper sprays this man cannot be caught. He's an actual supervillain and if he's not using shaman powers to avoid capture, I'd be amazed. The CIA should hire that man.

The absolute garbage that is Shin Yu's father. I loathe that man to my core. I want Shinyu's mom to divorce the bastard, but I just know from the 2010's writing vibes that she won't, and I will hate it. The man is an abusive toad, that is all.

The way they're painting both Shin yu's mother and Hongjo as absent-minded idiots makes me a little [clenches fist]... upset. I don't accept that she'd tell the bodyguards to leave or try to take the bus home AGAIN after everything that's happened. This does not track with my image of Hongjo and she'd be smarter than that. I loved her faceoff with Nayeon, though, she was smart to record the conversation.

Shinyu not telling Hongjo about the pregnancy news... like what was that. Shinyu. My guy. This is not something you just NEGLECT TO TELL YOUR PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND. That wasn't a cute scene, it was an infuriating scene and that omission of important details has been a massive character fault of Shinyu since the beginning of this drama. It's disrespectful towards the intelligence and the autonomy of one's girlfriend. It's insulting.

Also having sex without a condom and immediately getting pregnant... I mean yes, that'll happen if you don't use protection, but late 20s to early 30s men and women who have any sense don't just forget to use protection.

I've been hoping for Shaman Hongjo to rise and for her to have her own Big Moment as the baddie I know she can be, so I'm praying that it'll happen in tomorrow's episode 16/the finale.

There are so many loose threads and so much has been left into the dark, so I just hope that they'll manage to illuminate some of the more integral mysteries at least. But it'll be difficult with just 60 minutes left of the show.

Anyway, cute episode but some parts I really did not care for. Still eager to see the finale and will reserve final judgement until then.

[maxeiil]

something i was thinking bout not too long ago

I was reading James 4 and specifically verse 3 caught my eye; "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."

a while ago, I had a crush on this boy, my friends and I called him plum (because my sister said he looks like one lol). I was always praying to God that I would get to know him and he'd love me too-- and it was like that for months. I was absolutely infatuated with the boy. I always brushed off his wrongdoings and just saw them as his personality traits. I was just blinded by 2 things. 1, he was Christian, and 2, he was kind to me when I was the new girl.

Even though I was indirectly rejected so many times, I was just so stubborn about Plum. The boy literally said he liked tall, white, light-eyed, blondes, the complete opposite off what I am, and I was still delusional. When I found out he really hated me, I was crushed... But a while after, I finally snapped out of it and realized.

I didn't really like him, did I. I just wanted someone pretty to obsess over, someone so beautiful, I'd put them on some "holier than all" pedestal. My feelings for Plum were so superficial. And James 4:3 made me think.

I wanted it so bad, but at the same time I didn't really want it. If I did, I would have went for it. Because isnt it ironic how every chance I got to talk to him I didn't? I wasn't meant to. Plum wasn't mine. He may have loved God, but that doesnt mean he would love me.

And like I said, I was just grossly infatuated and obsessed. It wasn't even love. It was all wrong--It was just a silly delusional beyond delusional crush. I did want Plum for my own pleasures and just to be happy. But I never had anything with him. And I was never supposed to.

And you know what? I'm now really glad it went that way. God sent me another boy; I'll call him Ari. Now, the story between me and Ari is definitely for another testimony, but I really hope this was clear. You won't get everything you want just because you ask for it. No matter how good you are. God has a plan for you. Wait for Him; Your time will come.

God bless all, Maya <3

[raulfernandez]

Mmm Fermin/Alonso vampire au and Jaume/Adrian but you get to pick the au :)

Oh hello anon, thank you so much!!

TW: blood/dead animals

Fermin/Alonso:

Okay universe where you can be born a vampire if both your parents are vampires. Alonso was born a vampire, Fermin was recently turned into one (by somebody else, I dunno)

Fermin is still new to this whole vampire thing, he's inexperienced and scared, doesn't really know how to help himself

Alonso runs into him in the forest when he's on a run. Fermin is sat on the floor, a dead rabbit in hand. He doesn't want to hurt humans, it scares him, so he tries to substitute it with animals.

Alonso instantly notices what's happening, has seen the same thing from different people before, so he comes over to Fermin, trying not to scare him and just sits next to him for a while. Fermin is scared at first but he lets it happen

They talk for a while, Alonso offers to help him out in this new life, share all the advice he has and help him adapt to all the new things

Adrian/Jaume alien AU (suggested by my lovely Libby<3) (this still involves them being motogp riders lol)

Aliens are trained to be like the species they're meant to live with, so Adrian was trained on how humans behave, interact with each other and their surroundings and all that, before being sent to earth (for god knows what reason.) He doesn't really have any cool powers, he's just almost invincible to physical pain (big plus when he ends up being a motorcycle racer)) and he can feel the frequency of people's emotions

Adrian is sent to earth and gets adopted when he's said to be 17 in human years (because I need a reason for him to just randomly appear and for him to be an alien, but Raul not to be one (but I still need them to be brothers ofc)) Raul figures out Adrian is different and soon realises that he's not from this world when he sees some tiny antennas sticking out of his head (he can hide them, but in that moment he didn't because it's exhausting and he thought he was alone.) Raul honestly can't bring himself to care, he has a little brother now and the coolest one ever at that!!

Nobody but Raul knows, not even their parents, and Jaume doesn't notice either at first. Adrian wears hats all the time to hide his antennas anyways, and there is no other unusual-ness about him that would let anybody suspect. He's just a really curious person, always easily intrigued by something new. And aliens don't exist anyways, right?

But it happens as it has to, in the same way that Raul found out, Jaume finds out aswell. He bursts into Adrian's motorhome one night, wanting to tell him about something he noticed when going over the data of the day once again, and then he comes face to face with an Adrian who looks like a deer caught in headlines. Adrian prays he doesn't notice, he doesn't have the strength to hide them anymore, has done it all day already. At first Jaume doesn't notice, keeps rambling about the one curb that was making them problems the whole day, while walking further into the room. Then he looks at Adrian's face again and suddenly stops in his tracks before stepping closer to him. Adrian flinches away when he comes closer, tries his hardest to hide them but it just won't work. They stare at eachother some more before Jaume asks about it.

Jaume has always been fascinated by outer space and the possibility of life out there. Something about Adrian had always seemed a bit off to him, his curiosity and confusion at everyday things almost reminding him of the books he had read about aliens. They're great at mixing in with the species they live with and are really curious beings. They've never been on this planet before, don't know things like humans do, they get easily fascinated and amazed. All things he had noticed about Adrian before, after spending so much time with him every weekend. So when he sees the antennas he's read about poking out of Adrian's messy hair there's no more question to it. "You're.... are you... you're really not from this world, are you?"

[thegodsaremyhome]

hello, hope you're having a great day. i really want to follow this religion, but i don't know how to convert and since my parents are strict christians i won't be able to worship daily and give lots of offerings. and i'm afraid that the Gods and Goddesses might get offended or slightly annoyed that i don't worship them a lot. so, in short, my questions are: how do you convert? and what are some ways to worship for closeted worshippers? have a great day <3

Hi, darling! I hope you’re having a great day as well, so sorry that I’m getting to this a little late.

So, one thing that’s very important to remember is that our Gods are very understanding. If you are physically unable to give frequent offerings because of your life situation They understand. That being said, there are a lot of options for offerings and devotion that can be covert, so no stress!

Becoming a Hellenic Polytheist is really simple. Just choose a deity to worship(and I’d just start with one for now. It can be overwhelming to immedaitely jump into worshiping many,) introduce yourself and begin worship! I even feel like the introduce yourself step is an unnecesary one, but it feels nice and polite to do it that way lol!

If you’d like to have an altar, a common solution is to get a box, like a shoebox or something easy to hide under your bed or a closet, and put all the things you want to use for an altar inside. Whenever you wish to give a little offering, take it all out, give the offering, then put it all inside and hide the box until you’re ready to use it again.

Offerings luckily don’t have to very obviously be offerings. An offering could be something as simple as water, either on your altar or as a form of libation(which is basically when you pray and then pour the water out onto the ground or in the sink.) Food is another one. if you leave a bit of food out and offer it, you can eat it, toss it, or bury it(if it’s safe for the enviroment to do so) when you’re done with it. Anoffering could even be a drawing! So if you like to draw, you could keep a sketchbook for your worship and draw something that reminds you of your deity as a form of offering. I also like to make playlists. I have one for Apollo, Aphrodite, Hermes, and Artemis, and I like to listen to them whenever I want to feel close to Them. Jewlery or clothing is another covert option, as you can offer it and then wear it whenever you wish to show devotion.

Devotion can also be shown through various activities, called devotional acts. I love devotional acts because, if you don’t have the energy to give an offering, or you’re worried about getting caught, you can just do something that reminds you of the deity! For example, devotional acts i have for Aphrodite are showering, working out, cleaning my room and other self care acts and beauty routines. For Apollo, it’s crafty stuff like, drawing, writing, crocheting, or also listening to music. For Hermes, it’s stuff like writing, learning new languages or coding. All I do is pray(could be in your head if there are others around and you don’t want to be heard) to Them and let Them know that you’re doing this act for them! I often find that when you do this, they like to join you, so you may feel Their pressence nearby.

[dogfags]

blah blah journaling here bc my laptop still don't work

this week has been super stressful but my car is finally working again and it didn't cost as much as I thought. Chris and I had a little trial run of us living together bc he had to stay for a week to drive me around everywhere (bless him). praying he gets this job he just interviewed for so he can move in asap. and yes I have hangups about moving in with yet another partner after not dating for a total year but like 😭 dude idk how anybody can afford to live on their own. me and Tara can't make rent with just the 2 of us and it'd be really nice to be able to save some money. and after my car broke down I for sure couldn't afford to split the house bills 50/50. it was Tara's idea to invite Chris otherwise I never would have suggested it. and we both have our weird feelings and fears about it, to a healthy degree I'd say. I mean idk. my attitude rn is kinda like, I think I've already been through the worst it could possibly get with moving in with a partner? like there's no way it could be worse than That, even if we do break up. we have our own separate spaces also which was the only saving grace me and my ex had after we broke up so that's good. but I also just don't rly see things going so poorly. I mean idk. u never rly know somebody. but Chris just SEEMS different and has actually told me he wants to marry me and be with me forever etc. he is a more open and honest communicator than anyone else I've ever dated. won't be like my ex where he went off and binged a bunch of drugs then lied to me about it, bought a gun and brought it into our house, cheated on me, broke up w me then threatened me with suicide when I decided to move on. like actually fucking crazy person type shit. I can't believe I put up with so much in my last relationship. literally a nightmare. and I can't believe ppl were blaming ME for all that shit 😭 idfk dude. I'm so glad to be out of that situation and living my life now. as stressful as it is rn with school and work I'm still so much better off than I was. Chris is actually a huge sweetheart and shows me affection and loves me in the ways I need to be. and spends time with me. and talks to me lol. like I'm Sorry but after talking over all this with my therapist for so long I've kinda come to the conclusion that none of that shit was my fault. it sucks that some ppl got caught in the crossfire but again it wasn't my fault. I'll take ownership of going back on my word by sleeping w somebody at the house. that was shitty but also? maybe don't cheat on me and lie to me the entire relationship and I'd actually gaf 😭 he got his stupid little "revenge" for that anyway lmfao. I just fr cannot believe the shit I've been through with the awful awful people I've dated.

in an ideal world Chris and I could live on our own for a bit before we move in together but the job market is fucked, the housing market is fucked, and neither of us could rly afford to do that. sooo we just gunna have to move in together. and I was rly reluctant at first but everyone I've talked to has been super in support of it bc he's just such a good guy. plus we've been friends for a few years anyway so it's not like I started dating this stranger then he moved in. we used to talk semi regularly in college. would have hung out if I ever had time.

for a second I was worried I'm like, a bad person who does horrible things and I Have made bad choices don't get me wrong but like. I'm not evil or irredeemable. I have all these friends now who actually love me?? and I made them myself? wild. also quite literally everyone I've talked to about the past events have been like ya dude ur a victim 😭 I feel more guilty about the shit that happened w Friday than I do w my recent ex. bc some of that was objectively my fault bc I was in such a horrible manic episode I was acting crazy. they did kinda SA me but like. idk man. I'm insane sometimes.

the whole thing with that friend saying that "my stress is not their problem" kinda just. idk. idk if we will ever rly be close again. they kind of refused to apologize for anything they said to me or for screwing me over in housing. plus all the shitty posts they made about me. like idk. we talked it over irl and like kinda made up? but I still don't think she ever even said she's sorry lol. and for months I blamed myself for my ex being suicidal bc of all that. until my therapist and I went over it again and again and I've kinda just realized none of that was rly my fault. if anything staying with my ex after the first incident was my mistake. but I felt rly trapped bc we lived together. that's what is so hard about living with a partner especially when you haven't been with them super long. like idk. I have a good feeling abt Chris. I genuinely do want to spend my life with him. I never rly felt that way abt my ex. even when they were moving in I was like ya this is fine/fun for now. but I never felt like my ex was my soulmate or anything. not that I rly believe in that shit. but Chris and I just connect and get each other on a different level. it's the first time I've ever rly felt truly understood by someone.

the things I feel guilty for are more like, I feel guilty for staying with the people who hurt me even after I've already accepted in my mind that they aren't the one. and I do that bc I'm scared of being alone and scared of confronting myself and the reality that it's not a perfect love story or whatever. and my ex did try to fucking. reel me back in after we broke up and keep me there but not fully there. but I removed him from my life after I had had enough and I am proud of myself for that. I don't need someone like that in my life, even as a friend. wishing the best for u but I don't want to be there to see it. after Friday SAd me I should have just ended it but again I stayed bc I was scared. and what I feel most shame for is manically scrounging up a plan to break up without actually breaking up and then making a fool of myself by "proposing" like God that's just so embarrassing lol. but idk like my therapist said I can't fully blame myself for the decisions I make when I'm in a manic episode bc that's just straight up Not Me. like part of the diagnostic criteria for a manic episode is making choices you would not otherwise make. I'm not crazy. I was just deeply traumatized and triggered and couldn't find a way out of it. then ofc they tried to screw me over in every way possible. I make bad choices in people I date. and I look back and I'm like, but if I'm the common denominator of all these people I dated, aren't I the shitty one?? like surely I pushed these people to madness right lol like they weren't bad people they just became corrupted bc I forced them into craziness. idkkkk my therapist also says I can't look at it like that. and that people with lifelong CPTSD often end up in abusive relationships bc of trauma and patterns and shit. so. there's that

while I am wary of possibly repeating my shitty patterns I also just have a good feeling about Chris. I'm at a point in my life where I'm done dating "for fun" like I actually want to find someone to spend my life with now. and I think he could be it. like idk people are like "when u know u know" and I just Know with him. he's such a good person, basically everything I've ever wanted out of a partner. he's smart as fuck and creative and interesting and sweet and loves my friends and has a lot of his own friends and we have similar ways of thinking and want the same things out of life. same lifestyles and same plans for our futures. he's highly emotionally intelligent and I feel like he'd never lie to me. I can trust him. he's always there for me. he's very helpful and never complains about helping me. he helps without even being asked. like mans fr just did our dishes. and I KNOW THE BAR IS IN HELL but fr lmao. I was a little apprehensive at first about dating, and I'm a little apprehensive about moving in together, but my gut says this is right and will help us both out a lot financially. and emotionally tbh.

so yea those are my updates. hopefully he gets this job and then can move in in September. and then I just have 6 months of school left. it feels like I have to grind forever for the rest of my life but it won't be forever. I just gotta get through this and it'll all be worth it. blaaaghdjdnns

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Okay ... you seriously have some of the most cruel cliffhangers I've seen so far! Always right after everything starts getting really good and you start itching for more lol. Very well done!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 ... I also have a question for EI Jungkook: Hello Mr. Jeon, it's absolutely wonderful to meet you. *gives a genuine smile and mentally prays that I don't get scolded too much for this* I noticed when Y/N said she didn't want to take advantage of her step-father's kindness and tried to give back the second necklace, you never explicitly said that it was already put on his card, account, or that he even paid for it. Instead of using your words, as you like to say, you chose to simply shake your head to keep her from returning it and never gave a direct answer as to why. I can't help but wonder - did you purchase the second necklace from Tiffany's, Mr. Jeon?? 🤔😏

This is in regards to The Art of Etiquette

Lmaoooo I thought you were gonna say something mean the first time I saw this but haha I'm glad the cliffhangers are working! Gotta keep you wanting more 🤭 Thank you love I really appreciate that sm 🥺💜

Okay okay enough from me, Jungkook's been waiting patiently so I'll pass the mic to him hehe

~~~

Well aren't you the cheeky one, clever too.

It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance love, Why such wonderful manners you have. She could probably learn a lesson or two from you.

Looks like someone has been paying close attention to details since you caught onto my actions so quickly.

I do prefer to use my words, and making her words come out of her pretty mouth is addictive but it was safest to stay quiet this time.

I don't like to lie to people because like you said I was the one that bought the necklace for her.

I knew that if I said I would buy it for her that she would try to refuse it even more so that's my reasoning for my actions.

I won't be the one to tell her that though. If she wants to inquire about it she's gotta do some poking around on her own and I have a feeling she might.

It may seem to be a sweet gesture because it is but the idea of her wearing something I bought her drives me mad. The thought of her wearing it everyday and letting it sit beautifully around her neck is just... well let's just say I wasn't going to let this opportunity pass me by.

I guess the both of us will just have to wait and see if she finds out.

I would do anything to see her reaction when she finds out but I know the scolding she'll give me about it and the embarrassment she'll show is going to be priceless.

I guess I can't sneak anything past you so seems like I've gotta work a little harder on that.

Good job figuring it out love and I hope you'll enjoy what comes next.

~~~~~~~

Be sure to join the taglist if you'd like to be notified when the next part goes up or just comment if you'd like me to add you :)

Thanks again for the ask and feel free to send more if you'd like to! 💜

[not-joan-of-arc]

heaven official's blessing (pt. 2)

(finished reading on April 1 2022)

my unedited annotations for books four and five (SPOILERS AHEAD):

BOOK FOUR

been too busy to read for the past few days but I'm super excited to dive back into this - that being said, I'm still scared of this book ending

and so we return to the past!!

okay so Xie Lian's already been banished? ngl I was kind of hoping to see the actual banishment because I'm still confused as to why exactly he was banished??

also it's weird because the Xie Lian of the past is vastly different from present him but you can also very clearly see how he became the way he is today

ah yes now we know exactly where Xie Lian's poison-cooking-specialty originates from lol

okay Mu Qing is being kind of a dick in leaving Xie Lian but also he's got a valid point, and I kinda sympathise with him?

oh fuck me it's Hua Cheng?? I knew he would be in this book somehow!!

“I want to protect them.” - no but this is his unfulfilled wish that ties him to the mortal realm?? like he just wants to protect Xie Lian, that's so pure and wow I'm actually going to start crying now

I hope one day to find someone who loves me as much as Hua Cheng loves Xie Lian, even if its just in a platonic way

‘“If you remain forcibly, you won’t be able to rest in peace,” Xie Lian said.

The nameless ghost didn’t seem to care. “I pray to never rest in peace.”’

no but this whole scene with Xie Lian and little ghost Hua Cheng is like the foundation of their current relationship - Hua Cheng protecting Xie Lian without ever speaking a word to him of it, suffering to keep his heart to himself

so Hua Cheng died in the war, that makes sense

wait what?? Xie Lian actually cooked something edible?? maybe his cooking skills are a plot device after all

oh so this is when Feng Xin gets all wifed up

no but you really feel the second-hand embarassment when Xie Lian is caught trying to rob someone, like he's really fallen from that gracious and honorable Crown Prince of the past

yo someone help this boy, he is literally having multiple panic attacks and has very severe PTSD and also probably depression, like boy needs some therapy stat

but tbf, that's all characters in every mxtx adaptation rip

okay but ghost fire Hua Cheng is genuinely adorable

oh so these are the thirty-three heavenly officials Hua Cheng becomes famous for killing - of course his reason for doing so was Xie Lian! I should have realised that sooner considering everything Hua Cheng does is for Xie Lian

“But, this hand had reached out too late.”

I think White No-Face's obsession with Xie Lian is because he is the Crown Prince of Wuyong who suffered a terrible fate and he wants Xie Lian to suffer likewise and join him so he won't be alone anymore

the one instance where Feng Xin and Mu Qing are actually getting along and it's Xie Lian who drives them apart, how ironic - I keep trying to make myself like Mu Qing and like, I understand why he does what he does but I still don't like him - Feng Xin though is my boi

I'm beginning to understand why book four is the most tragic and hardest-to-read section in the whole book

no but it makes sense?? killing makes you immune to the human face disease

oh fuck no I think I know what's about to happen

Xie Lian...what are they doing to you

fuck me but he is without a doubt the character with the most tragic backstory ever to exist

SOMEBODY FUCKING SAVE HIM

how painful this must be for Hua Cheng too seeing the love of his life bear so much pain and be unable to do anything about it

Xie Lian you need to tell Feng Xin what happened to you or you're going to lose him too

“It’s not like I’m a god, can’t I be angry? Can’t I hate?”

I understand why Feng Xin leaves but also fuck you Feng Xin! can't you see how much torment your best friend is in? can't you see that he's too broken to be left alone

wait the King and Queen have actually hanged themselves?

no okay this is too fucking much don't y'all leave Xie Lian alone like this, he doesn't deserve to be tormented like thus, he doesn't deserve any of this

Ruoye!! and now I understand what Xie Lian meant when he talked about forging his spiritual device with Pei Ming - I knew it would be tragic but never this tragic

he's on the verge of becoming the white-faced calamity isn't he?

Hua Cheng to the rescue!! and now I understand all the fan art of Hua Cheng in a smiling face mask

or maybe not Hua Cheng to the rescue? curiouser and curiouser

Xie Lian has definitely got something up his sleeve as always but it still hurts to watch him be so broken and in pain

and now we have the story behind the bamboo hat

Hua Cheng!!

ahh why do they both go through so much pain?? and because they're soulmates they feel each other's pain too - my heart -

I read a post that said all that happens to Xie Lian makes him “desensitised” to everything and that's exactly what it is - he bears so much pain and suffering and humiliation in such a short span of time that eight hundred years later present day Xie Lian just does not give a fuck about anything anymore, like he's reached the lowest it is posible to ever go and can go no lower and like my heart is in pieces for him but at the same time he's such a fucking icon

the truth behind his second banishment

and thus we have present day Xie Lian in all his adorableness, except now we know his full story

the only big mystery left now is his third ascension I think

now onto book five as we return to Mount Tongl'u

BOOK FIVE

I don't this even needs to be said but I loathe White No-Face with every inch of my being okay

no but its actually hilarious that Hua Cheng carved a inhumanly big statue of Xie Lian out of a literal mountain, like my man is whipped

the real question is why is Hua Cheng a ghost king and not a world-famous artist and sculptor?? like he should have his own museum and not be running the ghost version of las vegas lol

it's also hilarious how though all the gods supposedly find Xie Lian strange they're all still willing to do whatever he says, like Quan Yizhen and even Pei Ming

haha I knew Pei Ming totally ships it

its only been like a few hours since Hua Cheng and Xie Lian properly kissed with no pretensions (and they haven't even properly confessed their love yet - though they don't really need to to be honest lol) but I'm absolutely living for these casual displays of love, like Hua Cheng giving Xie Lian a forehead kiss makes me feel so warm and happy

I was wondering when Shi Quingxan would show up again - ngl, was not expecting this reunion though

absolutely love the fact that Xie Lian can quite easily kiss Hua Cheng in front of everyone when it's a high-stakes situation but gets flustered by kissing his cheek when they're completely alone, Xie Lian is just too adorable

Jun Wu is White No-Face?? what the fuck....

I thought Jun Wu was kind of sus but not to this extent

no I don't want Yin Yu to die, he's genuinely one of my faves and deserves so much better than he got

yasss we stan Lord Rain Master!!

hmm I wonder if Mu Qing's interrogation has anything to do with what Hua Cheng heard him and Feng Xin arguing about on Mount Tongl'u

I mean Hua Cheng isn't wrong, the two of them really have zero self-preservation instincts lol

yes finally, we're going to get the full story!

so Jun Wu/White No-Face has basically been manipulating everything from the very beginning? damn - and I thought Mengyao in mdzs was a psychopath, this is just on a whole other level

Guoshi ships it!! he's definitely confused about where all the gay came from though lol

I'm screaming Guoshi is definitely trying (and failing) to give Xie Lian some sex ed

this whole battle seems like some sort of crack dream

okay but Guoshi is actually the best

Guoshi referring to Quan Yizhen as a ‘fluffy child’ is the peak of hilarity

not Guzi!

this Hua Cheng is He Xuan isn't it

not gonna lie, I kinda ship General Pei and the Rain Master

Hua Cheng already imagining having a child with Xie Lian - I can't, that's too adorable

final battle approaches

Hua Cheng wanting to make a good impression on his boyf's ‘dad’

come on Xie Lian, you're so good at sussing out every other gods mysteries but you can't even figure out all Hua Cheng has done for you? you're so fucking obtuse at times

Hua Cheng thinking that Xie Lian was going to stab himself again - my heart - and then being reminded of when Xie Lian was stabbed by a hundred swords but Xie Lian just laughing it off - ahhh why did they have to go through so much pain

I think Feng Xin is slowly coming to the understand the depth of trust and love and mutual respect that is Hua Cheng and Xie Lian's relationship - he's definitely not against it now at the very least

also glad we're finally getting some character growth from Mu Qing, after 800 years

so this is the truth of Mu Qing and honestly, I can't really say I dislike him so much anymore, like I understand where he's coming from

he's still a dumbass for not realising that Xie Lian genuinely did want to be friends all this time though, but then again, if I met someone as good as Xie Lian I would be a little skeptical too lol

this whole scene is low-key hilarious, they're both dumbasses

scratch that, all three of them - Xie Lian, Mu Qing and Feng Xin - they're all dumbasses

‘Xie Lian responded, “IF THEIR ENTIRE FAMILIES ALL LOOK LIKE THAT, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO FUCK THEM??”’- I'm crying

okay now I'm starting to understand where all the shipping of Feng Xin and Mu Qing comes from, this whole bit with Feng Xin carrying Mu Qing and them bickering is kind of adorable

Mu Qing and Feng Xin definitely give the vibe of Xie Lian's brothers who don't really approve of Xie Lian's boyf in the first place but still don't want him to be harmed for the sake of Xie Lian - I actually love their friendship okay, however much history they have between them all

and now we get the rest of Hua Cheng's story!! I'm so ready for this

no fucking way - so Hua Cheng could have been a god??

he definitely chose the ghost life for the aesthetic lol

I love the trope when couples fight together as a team, like all the wordless communication and synchronisation

‘Because he wasn’t as good as Hua Cheng thought him to be.’

that's the thing though, Hua Cheng has seen every bit of Xie Lian and knows that he's imperfect, he understands him and sees him for who he is - Xie Lian, don't you understand? Hua Cheng cares about none of it, all he cares about is you, its all he's ever cared about

‘“Your Highness, don’t be afraid. Remember? The one basking in infinite glory is you; the one fallen from grace is also you. What matters is ‘you’, and not the state of you. No matter what’s happened in the past, I will never leave you. You can tell me anything.”’

nooo not ruoye!! :(

‘He couldn’t help but wonder—perhaps, to be defeated by someone, to end these relentless days of brokeness and madness, was possibly Jun Wu’s wish deep down.’

Xie Lian you are truly one of a kind - “shattering boulders on chest” lmao

‘All of a sudden, thousands of emotions, millions of words swarmed into his head. There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.’

fucking finally!! it's taken Xie Lian way too long to realise the truth lol

‘Hua Cheng said quietly, “Your Highness, I understand your everything. Your courage, your despair; your kindness, your pain; your resentment, your hate; your intelligence, your foolishness. If I could, I would have you use me as your stepping stone, the bridge you take apart after crossing, the corpse bones you need to trample to climb up, the sinner who deserved the butchering of a million knives. But, I know you wouldn’t allow it.”

He said all this as the maple red of his robes slowly faded away.’

fuck me they better have a happy ending after all that or I'm going to scream

Jian Lan and Feng Xin deserved better, they all deserved so much better

I love how every little story arc is getting some sort of resolution as we near the end

‘Hua Cheng waited for him for over eight hundred years, so what did it matter if he waited for Hua Cheng for another eight hundred more? It could be a thousand years, ten thousand years, and he would still wait, and continue to wait.’

‘A smile hung on Xie Lian’s face, thinking, he wasn’t the only one who had fallen.’ - but I'm also bawling

‘Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.’

final chapter let's go!! but also I don't want this to end

love that they've returned to Puqi shrine it's so wholesome

I'm screaming - this definitely means Hua Cheng and Xie Lian have already slept together lol - and Feng Xin and Mu Qing are just there like ‘we really didn't need to know that’

the elusive He Xuan??

I am living for domestic HuaLian

“I am forever your most devoted believer.”

---

after finishing the book:

screaming crying laughing I can't believe its over

this was a genuine masterpiece

also reading the post-script I think MXTX is legitimately a genius like wow, I aspire to be as talented as she is

(rated 5 stars)

---

my annotation system

[blissfullyapillow]

The beauty of Mondstadt... and you

The beauty of Mondstadt… and you

Genshin Impact

Kaedehara Kazuha x female reader

wc: 3,240

Summary: You remain by Kazuha’s side when he flees Inazuma, and you explore the world of Teyvat together, dancing around the feelings you both share. 

Notes: I wrote this using various prompts I found from all over tumblr. Overall lighthearted fluff, there’s a bit of an angsty-ish part. Venti, Tighnari, Mona, Fischl, Xinyan, and the Traveler are all mentioned in some way LOL. This was going to be centered around Mondstadt, hence the title, but I added more to it. I really like the name though, so I’m keeping it hehe ٩(๑> ₃ <)۶♥ P.S. Happy New Year!! <33

Back to Masterlist C

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"I saw that. You just checked out my ass." I watch as Kazuha visibly jumps before he averts his gaze to the sky. 

Yeah. Subtle.

I walk up to him and stand right in front of him. I wait for him to make eye contact with me, but that moment has yet to come. I stare him down until he looks at me. "I swear it won't happen again." His sheepish apology cracks my facade and I giggle uncontrollably. Kazuha’s face is colored in confusion, but he joins in on my hysterical laughter nonetheless. 

“It’s okay. I want you to look.” His crimson cheeks bring a smile to my face. I continue teasing him until he covers his face with his bandaged hand. “Just.. give me a moment.” I comply, and I use this time wisely to finish preparing our things. “Are you ready to flee the nation of Inazuma?” I ask. Kazuha chokes on air.

I pat his back softly as he coughs into his fist. Once he’s breathing easy again he aims an unamused stare in my direction. “We’re literally fugitives of the nation, and you have the time to make jokes?” - “So no boba?” Kazuha looks astonished at my audacity to even ask the question. His mouth moves, but nothing comes out. 

Bediou saves him the trouble of responding. “Oh, I like her! She’s a keeper, Kazuha!” Her boisterous words catch the attention of the entire Crux crew, and soon everyone’s raucous laughter fills the air as the ship sails off from Inazuma. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

I smile to myself, remembering such a fond memory from long ago. I wonder why I’m remembering that now? Maybe it’s because of the situation we’re in.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"I have a solution." I declare. "Thank goodness." Kazuha breathes a  sigh of relief. "It involves fire." I elaborate. "Absolutely not." Kazuha’s quick to shoot my idea down, but I act fast.

I use my vision to light up the fire barrels in front of us. Kazuha shouts as he makes his way towards me. “What’s wrong? See, everything’s fine!” I chuckle as I watch the multiple ruin drakes ahead of us get caught in the explosion. 

Kazuha’s shouting for me to move, and I shout back in confusion. Why does he want me to move? We’re far away from the ruin guards.. I look around at my surroundings and spot the object sitting uncomfortably close to me.

I realize a little too late why he was shouting when I’m caught up in the explosion.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

I watch through blurry eyes as Kazuha becomes surrounded by the ruin drakes. I inhale a painful breath and silently pray for Kazuha to make it through this fight. 

I know he’s more than capable of handling himself, which makes me feel all the more guilty that I managed to injure myself. I was blown back from the explosion and unfortunate enough to land on my head.  

I close my eyes and focus on steadying my breathing, just as Kazuha taught me. I don’t know how much time passes, but I feel someone’s hand on top of mine. I flinch and try to move away since my eyelids feel too heavy to open, but I stop once Kazuha’s soothing voice reaches my ears.

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s just me.” I allow myself to relax. I feel him lift me into his arms, and as he moves he talks to me. “Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that." I do as he says, and his fast yet steady heartbeat placates my anxious heart. Something nudges my hand, and I weakly lift mine. His fingers intertwine with mine as he holds me. "Hold my hand. You are going to be fine." Kazuha’s mellow words keep me grounded. I manage to pry my heavy eyes open to see his face, and what I see causes my heart to skip a beat.

His eyebrows are furrowed with his pretty lips set into a deep frown, and he’s visibly sweating. I can only keep my eyes open momentarily, so I close them once again.

“I’m sorry…” I mumble. He remains silent, but his strong hand offers my weak one a reassuring squeeze. I fall into a comfortable slumber in his arms.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Don’t you ever do that again!” Kazuha scolds me. After a long day of falling in and out of sleep, with Kazuha caring for me the whole time, I’m finally feeling better. 

“Where are we?” I groan as I sit up. “Lucky for us, I ran into a forest watcher. They helped me patch you up. You should thank them before we depart.” Kazuha tells me as he replaces a dirty bandage on my knee. I hiss and cower when he rubs something on it. 

“That stings!” I shout.” “You’re hurt. Please just let me help you.” Despite his gentle tone, I refuse to move closer, and Kazuha sighs. “At least let me clean it.” Ugh, why does he have to be so sweet? I look in his eyes and see the concern in them. I silently move closer to him and sit through the pain as Kazuha cleans my wound and replaces the bandage. “Okay. Now take off your top.” “WHAT?” I’m so loud someone pops in to check on us. It turns out to be the forest watcher that found us. 

I have to sit through a lecture from the forest watcher, Tighnari, about how stupid my actions were and how much worry I caused Kazuha. All I can do is sheepishly apologize and promise not to do something so reckless again. Once Tighnari leaves, Kazuha repeats himself. “You heard me. Take. It. Off.” I’m not used to such a commanding tone from Kazuha. 

It’s kind of hot.

I remove my shirt, and he tends to some cuts I got there. I watch Kazuha dutifully care for me. “It’s hard to get used to...” I trail off. “What is?” Kazuha asks as he pulls my clothes back over my head. “Being someone that someone cares for...” I mumble. Kazuha sighs before he leans over and pulls me into his arms. “Just because you can do something doesn’t mean that you should. I’m just glad you’re okay. Promise me you won’t act so reckless again, okay?” Kazuha pulls away and waits for me to verbalize my compliance. 

“I promise.” I respond. “You were put in this world to give me a headache.” Kazuha mutters to himself. “Excuse me?” I guffaw. He says nothing as he stands up. He moves over to something and lights it up, but his body is partially obscuring my line of sight. 

A sweet scent fills the room. Kazuha returns to my side. He seats himself next to me, and he lowers my head until it’s laying in his lap. It isn’t long before my eyelids become droopy. “You aren’t sick of me yet?” I softly voice my uncertainty. “Of course not. Yes, you cause all kinds of mischief, but it makes being with you all the more fun. I’m glad you were the one I fled Inazuma with.” Kazuha’s fingers softly card through my hair, and his words are like a delicate kiss.

His words coupled with his actions make me flustered, so I splutter something incoherent. Kazuha chuckles. "You're adorable when you are sleepy." This man! 

I yawn before the words “Just marry me already” accidentally slip past my lips.

Kazuha’s fingers stop moving, and his legs stiffen below my head. I get comfortable in his lap as I begin to drift off. “You… want to marry me?” He blurts the question, and it takes me a moment to process what he said.

My eyes shoot open and I try to calm my racing heart.

Oh, so I wasn’t dreaming just now.

“Did I just say that out loud?” I rhetorically ask. Kazuha says nothing, and I refuse to move my head. 

Kazuha’s fingers eventually resume their movement, and I fall asleep with burning cheeks and a racing heart.

Little did I know, Kazuha’s heart was beating just as fast as mine. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"You think I am dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?" Kazuha retorts. I stupidly motion for him to move closer, with my leg extended to trip him.

He exhales a sigh that says ‘This girl will be the death of me’ before he makes his way over to me to ‘trip over my leg.’ “Oh nooo…” Kazuha’s sarcastic acting causes me to huff and catch him before he can ‘fall.’

“You’re supposed to act all shocked and flustered, Kazuha! Then I say, ‘Whoops, didn’t mean to make you fall for me’ and viola we kiss!” I whine and divulge my entire plan to Kazuha as I help him stand up again. 

We’re in Mondstadt now, standing in front of The Symbol of Mondstadt's Hero, the big tree at Windrise. 

“Y/n.” I ignore him. “Y/n.” I groan and turn around to face him, but my view is quickly turned upside down. 

Kazuha has dipped me, so now I’m forced to look into his charming red eyes as they search mine. “There are dandelions around. They’re beautiful, but I have a stunning flower in my arms that I’ll gladly admire instead.” 

Before I can muster up a reply, he confidently states, "We’d make such a cute couple."

His words catch me off guard, and in response I grip the sleeve of his arm. Usually I’m the one flirting with Kazuha, but this time he’s taking the initiative. 

Now I’m confused, elated, and aroused. Yet I still don’t have a response. 

Instead of verbally responding, I settle with kissing his cheek. Now we’re both a flustered mess. 

“Ehe. What’s this?” Someone’s chirpy voice interrupts us. Kazuha repositions us so we’re properly standing in front of the bard as he makes lighthearted conversation with Kazuha. As Kazuha interacts with this bard, apparently known as Venti, I do my best to avoid the bard’s scorching gaze.

I gain the courage to spare a glance at Venti’s face, and he’s quick to send a wink in my direction. His face screams “I caught you two being all lovey dovey” and I refuse to give this bard the satisfaction of flustering me further. 

I bury my face in the crook of Kazuha’s neck, and I notice the way his arm moves to settle comfortably around my waist as he draws imaginary shapes against my hip.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“I never imagined I would see a drunk Kazuha.” I groan as I lug his body around the amiable streets of Mondstadt. When Kazuha was taking a little too long to return home I went out in search of him, only to find him leaving the Angel’s Share with flushed cheeks and a drowsy expression on his face. 

The bard from before seemed none apologetic about Kazuha’s current state as he wished me farewell and vanished with the wind. I grumble about that drunken bard as I lay Kazuha down to rest. “Kazuha, are you feeling alright? Do you need anything? Water, perhaps?” I fret over Kazuha as I make sure the bedding is comfortable for him to rest. 

Kazuha giggles at my informal interrogation. “I’m fine, love. But mmm tired.” His voice is softer than normal. If he wasn’t drunk I would tease him for it. “Okay then baby-” I quickly cover my lips when the term of endearment slips out. It just slipped out since he used one with me, but… he’s drunk.

Kazuha sees nothing of it as he lifts one of my hands to place it on his head. “Say it again.” He whines. 

Oh. My. Gosh.

I will myself to remain calm. 

“Okay then baby, I know you’re tired. How about we rest now, hmm?” I coddle Kazuha. He moves my hand so I’m petting his head, and I comply as he adjusts his position.

“Lay with me.” He cutely demands. A squeal escapes my lips when his eyes open and he makes grabby hands in my direction. I scooch closer to him until I’m pressed against him. “Closer.” Kazuha murmurs. 

His surprisingly strong arms pull me against him so my head is resting against his chest and his head is resting on top of mine. “much better…. goodnight Y/n..” Kazuha trails off as he yawns and gets comfortable. 

He has no idea what he’s doing to me right now!

I take a few deep breaths before I say a goodnight in reply. The response he gives me literally causes me to malfunction. “I love you, Y/n…” 

What.

What.

What!??

His voice was so quiet his words would’ve gone unnoticed if I wasn’t paying attention. 

He’s drunk. He doesn’t know what he’s saying.

…. But, they do say your filter goes away when you’re intoxicated. 

Ugh! Now it’ll be ages before I fall asleep.

I shift as I will my mind to slow down and rest. I stiffen when I feel Kazuha’s calming hand rub along my arm. I sneak a glance at his face, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I see that he’s still asleep. 

So he’s doing that unconsciously. 

It’s soothing, and I find that all of the energy leaves my tired body as Kazuha continues the repetitive motion. Thanks to him, I find myself drifting off to sleep moments after him. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"You are remarkably well behaved tonight. What did you do?" Kazuha sidles up next to me, and I quickly swivel around before he can see the paper in my hands. 

After Kazuha followed that bard the other day, telling me he had some business to take care of and he would reconvene with me later, I haven’t seen him since.

It’s been days, and I’ve missed him terribly.

He returned earlier today, and I spotted him in the streets of Mondstadt before I returned to our temporary abode. I found him surrounded by three other women and the traveler he often talks to me about. 

I inconspicuously hid as I tried to eavesdrop on their conversation, but Kazuha spotted me anyway and beckoned me over. I ended up chatting with everyone, and although they were pleasant to be around I couldn’t help but feel a pang in my chest when the girls began to laugh at a joke Kazuha made about me being his ‘reckless partner in crime.’ 

Once we finished our conversation and returned to our abode I made sure to be on my absolute best behavior. Of course, Kazuha noticed I wasn’t teasing him nearly as much as I usually do.

I clutch the piece of paper in my hands as I feel Kazuha hover over my shoulder. I fail to keep the paper out of his grasp, and he swiftly plucks it out of my hand. “Hmm? What’s this?” Kazuha manages to keep me at bay as he reads the letter I wrote for him while he was away.

I stop struggling against him since it’s clear I can’t snatch the paper away. His eyes eagerly devour the words on the page as I wait with baited breath. Once he finishes reading he silently folds the letter I wrote for him before safely storing it on his person.

We sit in comfortable silence for a few moments. “You missed me?” Kazuha breaks the stillness with his inquiry. “Of course I did...” I whisper. I wrap my arms around myself as I explain, “Even when you fled Inazuma, I refused to leave your side. This is the longest we’ve been apart since we met. You even returned home drunk the other day! Do you know how surprised I was? I missed you terribly, yet when you finally return I see you happily chatting away instead of returning home in my arms. Did you… miss me at all?” 

Kazuha’s face morphs into an expression of shock. He reaches out to me, and I allow him to unfold my arms. He holds both of my hands in his before he calmly explains, “The ladies and I found ourselves in a bit of trouble. It was a fun albeit long journey we underwent. I’ll tell you all about it at a later date. I apologize for making you wait so long. I’m never going to leave you again. I promise.” His words are like the fresh bandages he applied to my wounds a few weeks back. 

“Who are those girls to you, anyway?” I hint at my unease. Kazuha’s eyes slightly widen before he starts chuckling. “Hey! What’s so funny?” I whine. He doesn’t answer as his laughter escalates into full belly laughter. I take this opportunity to admire his handsome features as his eyelashes collect unshed tears of joy. 

He stops laughing enough to ask,  “Hold a moment. Are you jealous?” My eyes swirl with emotion as my face explodes in a beautiful burst of color. “I- I… Why would you even ask me something like that? You know me well enough to know the answer, so why bother asking? You’re seriously ridiculous, you know.” I ramble as I fidget in place. I look anywhere but at his face. 

Unfortunately for me, this man has an ungodly amount of patience. He begins playing with my fingers as he waits for me to look at him, and I finally do when I feel his velvety lips caress the palm of my hand. 

“You have no need to worry, dear. I don’t feel this intense desire with them as I do with you.” I swoon at his use of an endearment. His wine colored eyes reflect the unsaid love he has for me in them, but I want to hear him say it. 

Without the use of alcohol. 

“You owe me.” I demand. “Fine, whatever you’d like.” Is his simple reply. “Tell me how you truly feel about me. I told you how I feel in my letter, didn’t I? The letter you weren’t supposed to read yet, by the way.” I add. “I love seeing you smile.” He presses a soothing kiss against the sensitive skin of my wrist, and with each compliment his lips slowly go higher. “I’m fond of the way you always snuggle up to me when you’re cold and we’re camping outside. I’m infatuated with your fierce quips and intense passion. I admire the delicate way you change my bandages for me.” At this point he’s close to my shoulder, and I’m struggling to form coherent thoughts yet alone speak.

“Your kindness and compassion always cause my heart to ache with yearning. Imagine how I feel when your benevolent eyes shine upon mine.” His lips slowly trail across my collarbone, up my neck, and across my jaw until they hover over my quivering ones.

He extends his hand to softly cup my cheek, slowly closing the distance between our lips. 

“God, I love you.” 

His supple lips gingerly make contact with mine, and the raspy groan he emits causes me to squirm closer to him with a groan of my own. 

I’ve dreamt of this moment for ages. The real thing doesn’t even come close to my fantasies. It surpasses them.

I lean into the delicate kiss we share, and somehow I wind up sitting on his lap. He pulls away to catch his breath. We take an intake of breath in sync before we chase after each other’s lips.

His kiss tastes like dandelion wine; floral and slightly bitter mixed with a syrupy honey-like sweetness. 

It's delicious.