#pretty boy meets big alien/monster

[kabukiaku]

wow i can't believe zeb and kallus are officially husbands!!! (mr filoni told me so!!)

yes i have a ship type.

[yumedoca]

Non-Urusei Yatsura fans, which of these IS NOT an actual character? (Answers)

The poll is over and thanks to all who voted since it's pretty fun to see how UY characters may seem from an outsider's POV! And since many were curious, here are the answers for the poll. The characters are listed in no particular order, except for the last who will be the fake one so if you just want the actual answer, just scroll down to the end; and since the poll was aimed at non-UY fans, I'll provide context for the real characters' descriptions so there will be character spoilers ahead!!

A cow monster, who is also the most handsome character in the series.

This is Rei, the female lead (Lum)'s ex-fiancee. The description I gave may sound kinda weird but it probably wouldn't sound as weird if I had stated that he has two forms: one being a mostly humanoid form and the other which is the cow monster one. He swaps between forms at random, mostly depending on his mood and comedic timing.

A princess who wants to lose her virginity.

This is Princess Kurama. She's the princess of the alien race, the Karasutengu (Crow Goblins). Since her royal line was fading away because there were no more humanoid men on her planet, Kurama decided to find a suitable man to mate with, but has no luck when it comes to that since her standards are way too high for the any of the males in the series.

A fire breathing bumblebee.

This is Ten. Like his cousin Lum, he is an oni alien and his abilities are to fly and breathe fire. Ten ended up getting a good number of votes in the poll and I'm guessing it's because people thought I meant a literal bumblebee. I gave that description to poke fun at his character design and I'm pretty sure most UY fans were able to recognize him from the description, and his resemblance to bees has been stated in canon too. But if you did vote Ten because you thought he was an actual bee, I am so sorry, please don't kill me, I should have added the word 'alien' or 'kid' to the description.

A school nurse who regularly beats up her male students.

This is Sakura. She is a shrine maiden and a school nurse at the main high school in the series. I don't think I need to give much of an explanation for her description; she's hot and all the male students are horny so it shouldn't be a surprise that she beats them all up.

A woman hater whose diet consists of baseballs.

This is Tobimaro Mizunokoji. He hates women, which is most likely a result of spending time with his rival's sister who treated him horribly when they were children (and she still does, by the way; we'll talk about her next). Oh, and as the description says, he can eats baseballs whole.. and is able to spit them out entirely too.

A teenage girl who kills boredom by plotting and attempting murder.

This is Ryoko Mendo. She is a rich, well mannered young lady and her favorite hobby is torturing her big brother and his rival (aka baseball boy from above) in many different ways for fun. I wanted to add a bit more to explain exactly how sadistic she is but the wiki does it better, so have that instead:

She will throw grenades and bombs at people while acting calm and composed, and yet will cry over them when they return to her charred to a crisp. She often acts in total secrecy without telling anyone of her plans, such as setting bombs in a giant Christmas Cake, turning a giant Christmas Tree into a firework, and retaliating to people by setting off bombs near them. She also shows an interest in black magic, having used hypnosis and voodoo dolls to torment her brother.

So yeah, she's fucking insane and I love her for it. Have my favorite Ryoko image ever as a bonus:

A sheltered girl who ends up falling in love with her brother.

This is Asuka Mizunokoji, younger sister of baseball boy from above. I feel like her she needs the most context since I think this might be the most questionable description of them all.

As per tradition, the women in the Mizunokoji family are not allowed to meet a single male until they are 15, this includes their father and brother; which is the case for Asuka. Because she has never seen a man, she doesn't know what they are (or anything that falls under 'men', like father, brother, etc.) and was raised in isolation by her mother and her family's all female guards. But her first, unfortunate encounter with a man, which happened before the arranged day ends up terrifying her and as a result, she gets a phobia of men, no matter who they are... unless they are a 'big brother'. You see, when her female guards' explained to her what men are, they unintentionally had them sound.. scary; but they also tell her about 'big brothers' (since she'll have to meet hers) who are a special type of man who look like her and are very nice. Eventually, she finally meets her big brother, Tobimaro (who didn't even know she existed till then by the way), but since the description on what a 'big brother' given to her was incredibly vague and because she has no knowledge of how siblings work, she ends up falling for him unaware of how big of a taboo it is. Naturally, it is a one-sided crush since Tobimaro knows better but that won't change the fact that it causes a lot of trouble for him.

Ok, I'll stop here because that took forever to write. Also, I took some help to write the above part from Asuka's page on furinkan.com, I needed a reference for the entire paragraph because Asuka and her shtick needs one hell of an explanation.

A TV addict with zero social skills.

This is Shingo. He is a boy who went missing during an experiment when he was small and because of that, he grew up by himself (asides from some animals) in a jungle. His only source of entertainment there was a TV, which only has historical dramas. As a result, he became very attached to TVs (he used to think the TV was his grandfather, and no I will not explain), even after he was found and brought back to society. He is also terrible at socializing since he grew up on Japanese historical dramas which are incredibly outdated. He is already weak when it comes to interacting with men, but he is the worst when it comes to interacting with woman since he has no respect towards them (again, because historical dramas). I find it funny he got a lot of votes and according to tags, it's because his description sounded more normal than the others, which makes it even funnier because he's like the only character who actually watches TV (asides from watching TV during lunchtime and stuff).

A cowardly kid who aims for a life of crime.

And here it is, the fake one! With how many characters there are, it was hard to come up with someone (for some reason, I can't be creative when I really want to be) but after I posted the poll I realized that there is a minor character who fits half of the description: He is a kid who aims for a life of crime, but he is pretty strong willed and isn't exactly what you would call cowardly or timid (His name is Kintaro, in case you are wondering- he is only in the manga and 80's adaptation).

And that is all! Thanks for joining me here and I hope you have a great day ahead!!

[bestanimatedmovie]

List of accepted movies!

Let me know if you find any mistakes

101 Dalmatians

5 centimetres per second

9 (2009)

A Goofy Movie

A Monster in Paris

A Silent Voice

Adolescence of Utena

Alice in Wonderland (1951)

Anastasia

Anomalisa

Asterix the Mansion of the Gods

Astro Boy (2009)

Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Azur & Asmar: The Princes' Quest

Bambi

Barbie & the Diamond Castle

Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus

Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses

Barbie Princess Charm School

Baron Omatsuri and the Secret Island

Batman and Mr. Freeze: Sub-Zero

Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker

Batman Ninja

Batman: Gotham by Gaslight

Batman: Under the Red Hood

Beauty and the Beast

Bee movie

Belle

Big Hero 6

Birdboy: The Forgotten Children

Brave

Brother Bear

Captain Underpants

Chicken Run

Cinderella III: A Twist in Time

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

Coco

Coraline

Despicable me

Digimon Adventure: Our War Game!

Emesis Blue

Encanto

Ernest & Celestine

Fantastic Mr Fox

Fantastic Planet

Felidae

Ferdinand

Finding nemo

Gnomeo and Juliet

Grave of the Fireflies

Green Snake (or White Snake 2: The Tribulation of the Green Snake)

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio

Hercules

Home on the Range

Hoodwinked!

How To Train Your Dragon

Howl's moving castle

Ice Age

In this corner of the world

Inside Out

Interstella 5555

Invader Zim: Enter the Florpus

Isle of Dogs

James and the Giant Peach

Jin roh: The wolf brigade

Kiki's Delivery Service

Kirikou and the Sorceress

Klaus

Krabat – The Sorcerer's Apprentice

Kubo and the Two Strings

Kung Fu Panda

Kung Fu Panda 2

Lilo & Stitch

Liz and the Blue Bird

Loving Vincent

Lu Over The Wall

Lupin III: Castle of Cagliostro

Madagascar

Mary and Max

Meet the Robinsons

Megamind

Metropolis (2001)

Millennium Actress

Monsters inc

Monsters vs Aliens

Mulan

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rainbow Rocks

My neighbor Totoro

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind

Night Is Short, Walk On Girl

Night on the Galactic Railroad

One Stormy Night

Paprika

ParaNorman

Perfect Blue

Persepolis

Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension

Planet Hulk

Pocahontas

Pokémon Heroes: Latios and Latias

Ponyo

Porco Rosso

Princess Mononoke

Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva

Promare

Puella Magi Madoka Magica the Movie Part III: Rebellion

Puss In Boots: The Last Wish

Quest for Camelot

Rango

Ratatouille

Ringing Bell

Rise of the Guardians

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie

Rugrats in Paris: The Movie

Sailor Moon R: The Movie: The Promise of the Rose

Shaun the Sheep Movie

Shrek

Shrek 2

Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas

Song of the Sea

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron

Spirited Away

Spookly the square pumpkin

Star Twinkle Pretty Cure the Movie: These Feeling within The Song of Stars

Summer Wars

Suzume

Tales of the Night

Tangled

Tehran Taboo

Tekkonkinkreet

The Adventures of Tintin (2011)

The Aristocats

The Book of Life

The Boy and the Beast

The Brave Little Toaster

The Congress

The Emperor's New Groove

The Garden of Words

The Great Mouse Detective

The Incredibles

The Iron Giant

The Jungle Book

The Last Unicorn

The Legend of Hei

The LEGO Batman Movie

The LEGO Movie

The Lego Ninjago Movie

The Lion King

The Lion King 2

The Little Prince

The lorax

The Mitchells vs. the Machines

The Pagemaster (1994)

The Penguins of Madagascar

The Phantom Tollbooth

The Prince of Egypt

The Princess and the Frog

The Princess and the Goblin

The Sea Beast

The Secret of Kells

The Secret World of Arrietty

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

The Super Mario Bros. Movie

The Sword in the Stone

The Tale of John and Mary

The Tale of the Princess Kaguya

The Thief and the Cobbler

The Wind Rises

Tokyo Godfathers

Toy story

Toy Story 2

Treasure Planet

Troll In Central Park

Trolls World Tour

Turning Red

Unicorn Wars

Up

WALL-E

Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were Rabbit

Waltz with Bashir

Watership Down

We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story

Weathering With You

Whisper of the Heart

Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Wolf Children

Wolfwalkers

Wreck-it-Ralph

Your Name

Zombillenium

[changingplumbob]

Knightstone Household: Chapter 7, Part 1

Next household for this rotation is the Knightstone household. Just your regular neighbourhood aliens. Hot-headed art critic Adam, toddler Silas and scientist Suzanna. In part 1 the family have a pretty chill Saturday, playing with Silas and doing chores. Then I have the audacity to host a dinner party and send the charmer toddler to bed before the chatter begins.

The Knightstone household. Or as I think of it, the lot where the bird life mod goes manic. Pictured are three different areas where the birds love to pile up.

6am and toddler Silas is up! He's an early riser. He goes in to his parents room and wakes up Suzanna.

Silas: Mummy! *cries*

Suzanna: I'm awake, I'm awake

Adam: I'm not

Suzanna: Liar

Silas: Mummy I sad, made potty mess

Adam: Eww

Suzanna: Don't worry starshine, pops will fix it

Adam: I will?

Suzanna: Just as soon as he wakes up

Adam: *pretends to snore*

Silas: Mummy I did bad

Suzanna: What do you mean

Silas: Big puddle

Suzanna: Come here, don't worry about that now starshine, you're still learning

Silas: Breakfast

Adam: Not cereal, can't trust it

Suzanna: How about some nice yogurt huh

Silas: Mummy, why yoghurt not come with spoon

Suzanna: I don't know

Silas: It should

Suzanna: I agree

Silas: Mummy not sad about my potty mess

Suzanna: Do I look sad *pulls funny face*

Silas: *giggles*

Adam: My squeamish self is sad

Silas: Pops sad

Adam: Don't worry son, I'll be fine, keep up trying

Silas: Pop look bad

Adam: It's those frogs, so slimy

Silas: Don't worry pop, I sing, make it better

Suzanna: How kind of you Silas

Silas: I made this

He launches into a new composition, featuring words such as yoghurt, cube, and frog, mixed with the traditional nonsense sounds. Adam rates it 7/10

Suzanna: What do you want to do this morning

Silas: Outside time

Suzanna: You got it, let me help you out

Silas: Thank you

Adam: Good boy using your manners

Silas: Thank you *beams*

He spins into his hot weather outfit and is ready to have fun while his parents tend to chores.

Adam practices his cooking to stock the fridge while Silas toddles outside.

Silas: Birdies!

The seagulls and pigeons carry on, undisturbed by the tiny alien.

Silas: Come here birdies

And Silas launches himself forward, scaring all the birds away in the process. He laughs it off, funny things happen.

I remembered to set all the plants to blossoming stage so Suzanna is able to harvest her garden this morning.

Silas: Vroom vroom, watch out birdies

Suzanna: Drive careful starshine

Silas: Mummy you want food

Suzanna: Do you have a menu

Silas: Burger, fries, shake shake, it milkshake with extra shake

Suzanna continues tending the garden, whistling away. Silas joins the whistling with his songs now and then before he's finished with the food truck.

Silas: Mummy time how fast I do tunnel

Suzanna: Okay Silas

Silas: I ready

Suzanna: Go!

Silas squeezes himself through the tunnel

Suzanna: So fast

Adam comes to check on Silas as soon as he's finished his work prep task.

Silas: Pops play with me

Adam: What do we want to play

Silas: Adventure

Adam: Watch out, we dropped into a pit! Oh no, I have lost Silas in the dark

Silas: *giggles*

Adam: I hear you cheeky monster. Let's fly out of here!

Silas: Pops have to work today

Adam: Yeah son

Silas: *sulks*

Adam: How about I try working from home, then we can still see each other

Silas: YES. Will I be big brother soon

Adam: Maybe, mummy and pops are trying

Silas: I be great big brother, I fun

Adam: Hello fun, nice to meet you

Silas: *giggles*

Work task 1 is to write a book. Adam has only done columns before. Since he's feeling flirty he tries to craft a romance novel. Silas busies himself playing with toys and occasionally singing to himself. Suzanna has some expert repairs to do and gets a head start on this weeks laundry.

Silas is fascinated with disguises. He tries applying make up to see if he can be disguised without going full human. He seems upset but then he laughs, deciding he looks fabulous.

Suzanna: Who are you? What have you done with my son

Silas: *laughs* It's me mummy

Suzanna: Silas? surely not

Silas: Mummy pretty, can I make more pretty

Suzanna: You want to give me a makeover

Silas: Yes, I very good

Suzanna: Okay then

Silas: This goes on pips

Suzanna: Lips

Silas: lips, and powder make the shapes on face

Suzanna: *coughs*

Silas: Now we do nails, they be colourful like us

Suzanna: Wonderful

Silas: All done

Adam: You are- a vision

Suzanna: All thanks to Silas. Now come on, this vision wants afternoon tea

Adam: Brownie time

Silas: What pops writing

Adam: A romance book

Silas: What romance?

Suzanna: Kissy love

Silas: kissy kissy *blows kiss*

Adam: That's my boy

Suzanna: Let's see what you remember about shapes

Silas: Cube has squares for sides

Suzanna: You got it. What shape is the steering wheel on the truck

Silas: Circle!

Suzanna: And this one *positions hands*

Silas: Tri- Triangle!

Suzanna: You're learning so well starshine

Silas: Learning fun, I fun

Adam finished his book and now has one task left, recommending hangouts. That means it's time to invite over some humans Suzanna knows for dinner. Silas is angry at being fed early and missing out on the fun. He chews angrily while Suzanna introduces everyone to Adam.

Jessica: Aliens in artwork, how strange

Faye: Oh I don't believe in aliens

Suzanna: All finished

Silas: Yes but why I have to go to bed, I fun

Suzanna: You are fun but you're also sleepy and grumpy from the brownies

Silas: I *yawns* I not

Suzanna: Snuggle in starshine, have good dreams

Nalani: This pasta doesn't have fish does it

Adam: No fish

Faye: It tastes pretty good

Kayleigh: Will Suzanna be back soon

Adam: Oh yeah, sometimes it just takes a while for Silas to settle

Jessica: I hope you don't mind me wearing a hat inside

Adam: That thing? I didn't even notice it

*group laughter*

Suzanna: I'm back, what did I miss

Faye: I was just wondering how we're meant to tell your husband Adam and fitness instructor Adam apart

Kayleigh: It seems rude to call one "the other Adam"

Jessica: We can't separate by hair colour

Nalani: Or having tattoos

Human Adam: Maybe bulky Adam and skinny Adam

Alien Adam: Hey, I have some muscles

Human Adam: But dude, I'm ripped

Suzanna: Maybe clean plate Adam and non eating Adam

Alien Adam: Oh shoot I forgot to eat

Suzanna begins to clean up the plates while Adam remembers to recommend some restaurants and museums for the dinner guests. Work task 2, check.

Everyone heads home and the exhaustion hits Adam.

Adam: Pretending to be human is tiring

Suzanna: Having to ask about personalities instead of mind reading

Adam: Ridiculous. You know, Silas was going on about being a brother

Suzanna: He was

Adam: Shall we try again starlight

Suzanna: We shall

Previous Part (Goth) ... Next Part

[sleepyscxry]

Peridot x Gender neutral reader!!

A/N this might be pretty short because I’m tired asf.

the car comes to a halt and my eyes jolt open. “WERE HEEERRREE!!” Said my very awake friend, Bullet.. he’s been awake on monsters since we got out of Alabama. He’s been awake for two days.. “are you okay?” I said with worry.. “don’t worry y/n I’m fine we just gotta get the stuff in as soon as possible before I crash.” “Ooook” with that me and him start moving boxes and furniture in. The appliances came with the house on both floors!! Sinks, washers, dryers, dishwashers and a big doggie door!! ‘Will be perfect for king he’s fucking huge. Why did we decide to get a Great Pyrenees again?’ by the end of the day we were surprisingly done! We laid on our beds on our sides of the room and immediately crashed. the next day we wake up to king scratching at the door like a zombie. “I’m comin’ ya big goof.” Bullet said with his groggy Italian accent. I giggled because he sounds so silly. I got up and went to the bathroom to splash water on my face to wake me up. Putting on a snazzy sweater and some jeans I go to the kitchen and bullet is already making breakfast! “Your hair looks like an aliens trying to abduct it lol” I said with a still pretty sleepy tone. “What do ya mean?” He looked at the camera on his phone and said “oh my god I look like I’m in the 80’s jeezus.” We laughed it off as he fixed his hair and finished making breakfast. It was a waffle sandwich. “Huh?” “Oh that’s just something this dude over by the shore told me about. But said he went veggie and doesn’t like ‘em anymore so I stole the recipe!” “Wow.. sounds like you, talking about breakfast to someone you barely know.” “Oh no I’ve known Steven ever since we were twelve!” “Oh wow..” “there are a lot of things you don’t know about me. Let’s go talk to ‘em!” “But I haven’t finished-“ “it’s fine don’t worry about it king will!” He dragged me to the car and started driving to the shore. I will admit the beach is very pretty. We get to this ancient looking statue thing with a house built into it.. “what the hell?” “Don’t worry about it! Top secret stuff!!” He giggled and ran up the stairs. He knocked on the door and yelled “STEVEENNNNN ARE YOU HOOOMEE??” Then a boy with poofy curly hair like bullet answered the door. “Hair buddy!!” “Hiya steven so I just wanted you to meet my friend y/n!!” “Oh hi! It’s nice to meet you come in!” He was as cheerful as bullet which surprised me. ‘In my 4 years of knowing this man I’ve never seen anyone as cheerful as him until now.. wow’ and then I see weirdly colored people come into the house through this crystal portal thing? “Omg these are the crystal gems!!” He then goes on to tell me all of their names.. but only one catches my full attention.. “and this is peridot. She’s mostly sweet but a bit of a gremlin..” “HEY!! I AM NOT A GREMLIN!!” “My proof.” “Oh.. SHUT UP YOU CLOD!” ”Hi I’m y/n it’s nice to meet you all!” “It’s nice to meet you too.” Garnet said with a bit of a serious tone. Bullet saw me and said “you ok? To many people? You’ve got that look on your face that usually means you’re feeling a strong emotion” he led me outside to talk about it. “I’m fine it’s just that the last one.. peridot she is..” “different, short, loud, kinda annoying?” “I guess but she’s also kinda cute-“ “AYO- SUS? Sorry but uhm that’s actually really funny. Y’all could be the shortest couple known!” “Hey it’s not my fault you’re 6’2!!” “Ok true buuut you are only (I’m sorry to do this but-) 5’3” “I- eh- UGGGH” I stomp back in there. Him walking in with me wheezing. “What happened” steven said with a concerned voice. “Y/n is mad because they’re short lmao” “well that’s nothing to be to ashamed about..” peridot said with a smile. I notice that she is pretty short compared to the others.. “wanna be friends?” I said with a sweet gentle tone

I’m SORRYYY. I know I haven’t been updating ANYTHING! And yes I’m making this slow burn because peridot is ARO. ACE. Get it right you fools. bullet out >:)

[fryingpan1234567]

Y’all. Guys. Oh no. I’ve done something bad.

Look, I may have just created the most chaotic Disney crossover idea in the history of time, but if this blows up like the Big 4, I want credit.

So. We’ve got Jack Jack, Lilo, Boo, Hiro, Miguel, Mei, Luca, Alberto, Riley. There are more, and I know that’s a lot, but bear with me.

College AU.

Look, Hiro’s done, but he wanted to stay and teach/ use the lab whenever. Jack Jack’s parents want him to get a good education. Miguel is on tour with his music. Lilo and Boo are best friends, bonding over their monster/ alien dudes. Mei’s after a brilliant education herself. Luca wanted to go to school and Alberto couldn’t say no to him. Riley lives in the area.

They end up at San Fran Sokyo Uni, in the same dorm hallway.

Now, they don’t get along great at first. Riley’s used to living in a compact space, Miguel is used to being surrounded by family = no boundaries, Jack Jack is ADHD as fuck and is also a superhero who keeps getting blood all over the carpets in the middle of the night when he gets home from patrol. Lilo feeds peanut butter sandwiches to fish, for void’s sake.

After some rearranging, though, they get settled. That’s how they all meet.

It’s indescribably chaotic. Mei and Riley live together, their dorm room nice and organized and perfect. For their trustworthiness, Jack Jack lives with them as well (he’s ace dw. Also, he doesn’t tell them he’s a hero at first. That was a shitshow). Their apartment is a mix of hockey and Asian culture. There’s a family shrine in Mei’s room, and there’s a mini goal set up in the corner of the living room. Jack Jack’s stuff is kind of everywhere, but he makes up for it by doing dishes every night XD.

Lilo and Boo live with Stitch and a baby monster that accidentally wandered through their door on a field trip to Monsters Inc. Their apartment is pretty aesthetic but also messy. Even though it’s freezing and frankly nasty, Lilo swims and sometimes surfs in the bay, but she drives out to an actual coast (later with the whole friend group) on weekends. Boo LOVES the aliens and is on Lilo’s deep space podcast, a tribute to Elvis.

Miguel, Hiro, Luca, and Alberto live in an apartment together. Because how bad can a bunch of gay/ bi idiots living in one place be? There’s dirty laundry everywhere. The dishes don’t get done unless Mei happens to come over and yells at them for it. Trash from the fish boys, half-finished projects and scraps from Hiro, and scribbly sheet music from Miguel are everywhere. Baymax makes them take care of themselves tho; it’s fiiine :DD

Extra headcanons (SOMEONE PLEASE ASK ME FOR MORE ON THIS AU I COULD TALK FOREVER):

Not a single one of them is straight

They all become at least some part of a hero team later on- once Hiro and Jack Jack tell them all what’s going on, they either join in or agree to help sometimes

(Mei is a super panda, Lilo and Boo take their warrior pets into battle, fish demons, etc)

Once they’re comfortable enough with each other, they start visiting each other’s homes because they’re so diverse

Hawaii was awesome!! Lilo taught everyone how to surf as Luca and Alberto meet the wildlife below. Nani loves them all, but David’s favorite is Jack Jack

Mei shows them all Chinese-Canadian culture, but mostly the Chinese part lol. They get to meet her gf, Miri, and she takes them to 4town. They hate it, but she seems happy

Riley takes them all skating on the pond in her old backyard. Miguel and the fish boys, who have never been anywhere cold in their lives, are miserable. Really the only one who’s fine is Mei lmao. They all try broccoli pizza, and Luca and Alberto actually like it

Jack Jack’s family make it their life goal while they’re visiting to be as embarrassing as possible. Helen and Bob BOTH have to DRIVE THEM everywhere, Dash doesn’t stop talking about Fortnite for a single fucking second, and Violet actively makes out with Tony on the living room couch. You know who they love? Auntie Edna. Edna gains many more nieces and nephews that trip- she takes a special liking to Hiro, although she does criticize the ineffectiveness of his armor

Italy is warm and full of freaking mermaids and Vespa’s and gelato and it’s fucking awesome. Everyone falls in love with the food (obviously). Giulia just… gets used to adopting strange losers by this point.

Mexico is GREAT. Their trip happened to fall near Día de los Muertos, so guess where Miguel took them!! Maybe it meant stealing from the ofrenda, but… in their defense, they put it back. (Before you ask, yes, Tadashi was there. It’s a personal belief of mine that there are different sections to the Land for different cultures’ afterlives. Like all the gateways go to the same realm, just different parts of it.) Stitch and Dante wrestled the entire time XD

Edit: GUYS OH NO I FORGOT TO ADD VANELLOPE BUT SHE’S INCLUDED

[gryphis-eyes]

Hiii

I'm curious too

Here for the ask ;

-Pluto I'm excited for this one

-9h

-5h

-12h

If you feel uncomfortable you can skip the last one

And why didn't I noticed your new layout it looks cool

I want you to guess who I am I left no clues I know 😁

Hello you're asking a old dying lady to use her intuition 🤣 i'd say Aaron or Wild Candy ? 👀

I've already answered 9th house in a previous ask :)

pluto ⇢ tell something supernatural that happened to you

In some way i provocated this event haha, here is my "first" (pretty sure i met one when i was little) interaction with a demon (and i did massive error dw i learned from it i don't use those methods anymore)

So basically at the begining i didn't had that much ressources beside goetia (yeah you know where it's going 💀) and also some people online, i had this demon, Belial who i kept seing everywhere i won't list everything but it was very clear that he was going to be the demon i'll go to. So yeah i did all of ritual but with a shit ton of error in it oh boy it was a disaster but he did come, then i felt someone sitting next to me (i sat on my bed because my bedroom is very small) when i closed the ritual i felt like "he" was leaving and i went to bed

That's where we get the supernatural part, in my dream i saw a specific letter "shin" thing is, when i opened my eyes the letter was still in front of me and i wasn't dreaming at all i was fully awake and it slowly faded. (And now the big event) on that day i went out with friends, before leaving i asked with tarot if i did everything well or if i fucked up i didn't really understood the answer and i had to go because i was about to miss my train. When i went home and opened the light i saw a tall shadow figure in front of me and it went in my bedroom i was paralysed i didn't know what to do because that wasn't a human at a l l, so you know what i did ? 😭 I went to the kitchen calming down and took a knife to go in my bedroom cuz idk what was in my mind at this point haha

And in my bedroom there was NOTHING (and i did check under my bed 😭) however the 3 cards i pulled in the morning weren't the same (i took note of them) and the message was a clear "yes everything went well".... So that's why Belial isn't for beginners he isn't gentle haha

5H ⇢ do you have a hobby? which one(s)?

Too much honestly if drawing wasn't so time consuming i would love to learn some music instrument ! Beside that i love reading even if i have trouble with attention, mostly books related to witchcraft and mythology but i enjoy other types of books but it takes me a lot of time to read :') i really appreciate mangas even if i don't search that much for new ones it's a big source of inspiration. I looove cinema i highly hesitated between cinema and art school back in time, i enjoy all genre and i love going to theater sooo much i can't just like one thing i have to go deep in my research and it takes all my time haha

12H ⇢ which is/are your biggest fear(s)?

Old bald men no but im deadly scared of those "Monsters" in mandela catalog (i had trouble sleeping for a week after watching it 😭) if you saw Dark skies you might understand why im scared of aliens but not in a way of i don't want to meet one just the way they are represented in that movie is terrifying

*dramatic song in the background* Im also scared of romantic love

[roseposts-stuff]

hello dear people!!! i ranked series 1 of doctor who a few days ago and decided now it's time for series 2!!! as i said previously, my reviews are like 98% based on Vibes and im also a pretty positive person so it's probably like 90% "!!!! I LOVE THIS!!" lmao. anyway, lets go!!

1. The Girl in the Fireplace - this was great!!! i loved reinette and im ALWAYS ready for timey wimey bullshit, drunk ten gave crowley vibes i lived for that and also im a fan of the random horse go king, and ofc the story overall was rly interesting

2. School Reunion - SARAH JANE SMITH SARAH JANE SMITH!!! need i say more? i LOVE this episode i liked having mickey back and meeting sarah jane and love a tiny bit of doctor angst and like the general Vibe of this episode is so good its one of my comfort episodes i would do ANYTHING for this episode y'all!!!!!!

3. The Idiot's Lantern - listen folks listen i LOVED the boy he was sweet and i loved the story and im always down for humbling bigots i loved rose and 10 sm and the setting was cool and i loved the way it's shot this is also such a comfort episode for me man i love it

4. Fear Her - listen i think this is kinda controversial BUT I LOVE THIS EPISODE its also a comfort episode, i love rose's characterisation and i loved the family it was sweet and i think the importance of the song was beautiful and i liked the idea of drawings coming back to life and i loved the mundane setting sm, also im not a timepetals fan but this episode was so cute man

5. The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit - this story is SO GOOD the side characters are great and like my interpretation of the "satan" is that it's not necessarily like the _satan_ but a creature that is the idea for that like they say in the episode and like to me that's such a great thing, if i try to explain how i think about that, this post will become way too long so i won't, and i loved how 10 really was like i love humans and kinda reminded how everyone is amazing it was great

6. New Earth - I LOVE THIS EPISODE cassandra-rose and cassandra-doctor were great and i loved the story and the hopefulness and happiness of the ending i just love it so much

7. The Christmas Invasion - i rly like the story, it was great having harriet jones back and i loved how much mickey and jackie were in this, i liked the introduction to ten like baby, my son, you silly guy why are you quoting the lion king i absolutely adore you you silly little alien

8. Army of Ghosts/Doomsday - it was great having mickey back and the story is great, it had some funny moments i had a great time, visually i wasn't too much of a fan so that's part of why this is so low, like to me one important thing is the visual aesthetic, the ending was rly sad and i need people to talk more about the doomsday theme it's SO GOOD it's so haunting and beautiful i'm going insane fr

9. Rise of the Cybermen/The Age of Steel - i like this story but tbh i'm not a big fan, somehow the overall Vibe™ is just not slaying for me, like somehow im a huge cyberman hater i'm not sure why, and idk i'm just not the biggest fan of this

10. Tooth and Claw - idk i'm not a huge fan of this episode, it's enjoyable and i like it while watching but overall i'm not a fan of the story, i'm not one for werewolves so maybe that's why, rose's outfit ate tho slay queen i loved it

11. Love & Monsters - even tho this is the last one, i do like it on some level, LINDA was SO ADORABLE and if we had followed them being silly this would 100% be a story i really like and also jackie tyler was great, but i don't like the absorbaloff. i just dont. also the ending 😁 you do what 😁

there we are then!!! here are my opinions:D

[hoardcloneheadcanons]

Kidnap Buddies EP2 - P3

A fic in which intrepid reporter Lois Lane and artistic madman John Doe (who in another timeline would have been the monster known as Joker) have a friendship inspired by unique circumstances.

Updated every other day at 9 pm. 

Mentions of Batman x Joker and Superman x Lois

John’s eyes were wild. He had one planted on the table and one on his knee as he leaned into Lois’s space, daring her to come up with a reasonable response. She was leaning back from him with her nose scrunched up, meeting his intensity with defiance alone.

“I don’t know that he has a crush on me. I just have a pretty big hunch that’s all.”

 “Your hunches are 90% accurate, Lois.”

She was starting to squirm.

“Look he’s.. he’s sweet. He’s a big lug.”

“He’s covered in abs and saves kittens from trees.”

She leaned into his space to glare at him. Any closer and they’d be touching foreheads.

“What would life with him even look like, huh, John? Nobody knows where he goes  after he’s done saving us. Would I go off and live in his fortress of solitude? In his pocket dimension? On the remains of his dead planet. And-

-and I can’t live up to the way he looks at me, John. He looks at me like I’m some warrior of Metropolis, some savior of truth and symbol of the good of humanity all in one. It’s a lot”

He gave her a moment to catch her breath before cocking his own head.

“I’m sorry. Did I or did I not just hear you say 5 seconds ago that you’re willing to risk your life if the story and truth is worth it.”

“I also consider cutting a bitch every time I’m behind a slow walker or anyone taking too long at the printer. And a lot of what I do is for my own ego.”

“You are killing me right now. Murdering me in my sleep. You have a frankly insane work ethic, care about the people around you, and, regardless of your reasoning, have done a lot to get the truth to the people of Metropolis.

And yet you’re so used to the dynamic of people like your editor or your father, or your professors criticizing you so that you can push back and prove yourself that you flee in the other direction when someone just admires you without making you feel like you earned it.

 “It’s not about that.  I just want it to be more normal, ok? I already have an insane life. And I chose it. I like it. But I want the romance to be low drama. I just want Chinese food and a movie with someone I trust who I can just vent about my day to. I don’t want to be waiting around for some alien. I don’t want to consider the biological difficulties of cross-species procreation. I want a lazy cheesy high-school rom com.

John stared at her blandly.

“Don’t you dare say Clark.”

 “You just said you wanted a cheesy rom-com. I don’t think there is anything more quintessentially Hallmark than the wholesome Kansas farm-boy teaching the ambitious city-slicker the true meaning of Christmas.”

“He helped me carry a Christmas tree into my apartment one time-

“And he’s convenient, and single, and has a good relationship with his parents.”

“How did you know he had a good relationship with his parents?”

“Maybe because you described to me how they visited him in Metropolis to go ice-skating and getting hot cocoa with him while your dad just sent you a card.”

“Oh right- I did mention that to you”

“You also proceeded to tell me how he came over with egg-nog and a DVD of Rudolph after he heard you had no family over for Christmas.”

“I. Can’t. Date. Clark. He’s the only one at the Daily planet who I can work with! He’s actually a really good editor, is willing to work around my weird deadlines, and acts as a great sounding board.

“OH NO! You work well with him. Such a terrible attribute to have in a romantic partner. “

John rubbed his hands over his face and gripped his hair.

 “Oh look, I’m Lois Lane, I’m struggling to date in the city and asking my friend about his whackadoo dating history when I have two perfectly serviceable beefcakes waiting on the sidelines for me to make a move or indicate interest.”

Oh my god, is this what my friends had to deal with when Bruce and I were dancing around each other? I feel like I’m entering la-la land logic. It feels hot. I’m sweating. Has it gotten hot in here or is it just me?

 Jesus Christ.  Do you  want to know why  Kathy- Susie- Janet something was being a bitch to you at her bachelorette party? It’s probably because she was intimidated, because everyone and their mother-in-law suspects you’re dating Superman and she wanted to rub her marriage in your face as a response. She was probably waiting for you to say something like “Well, my boyfriend can fly”

But nooo. You didn’t mention it. Which I know you didn’t because you’re an idiot who refuses to acknowledge the possibility of that relationship. But she probably thought you were being the bigger person which definitely made her hate you more.

Which I know because right now I’m tempted to bully you for the same reason.”

Lois blinked.

“Huh, I actually hadn’t thought of it like that. That does make me feel better.

John was fully leaning over the back of his chair while pressing the palms of his fist into his eyelids.

“Does it? Good for you dear. I need a drink. Did you know that my current mood stabilizers aren’t compatible with alcohol? I’m so aware of it right now.”

[nerdwriting]

The Creative Directors Behind Fate: The Winx Saga Must Not Be K-Pop Fans

Also, they have a pretty wrong idea of the role fashion should play in a show.

There are a few words that will stand out across most reviews of Netflix's Fate: The Winx Saga - drab, boring, flop, flat, unimaginative. Critics and audiences consensus is that the show is not only a mediocre-at-best story, but also an atrocious (and ultimately confusing) choice of adaptation of the color pop and fairy magic cartoon it’s based on, 2004 italian cartoon Winx Club.

Fate has plenty of it's own issues - white washing and erasing characters, cringey dialogue, outdated melodrama, etc. But where it truly, unequivocally fails is as an adaptation. Fate misses everything that was magical and lovable about the original series, in all levels, from bizarre writing choices, - such as never actually developing any sense of friendship between the characters, who are based on a cartoon about…..a group…….of friends -, but it's especially and immediately felt in the art direction and costume design.

Winx Club is set on a fantastical world, Magix, where each of our main characters hail from a different planet, à la Sailor Moon. Alfea, the fairy school they attend, is the most common background: a pastel colored, futuristic high tech-meets-fantasy, art nouveau inspired castle. Alfea sets the tone for the whole visual of the cartoon: bright, colorful, futuristic meets vintage, leaning into the technological positivism of the Y2K style, uniting it with magic, DnD worthy monsters and, of course, fairy wings. Often featured are also the Red Fountain school, where the Specialists train, and especially Cloud Tower, the goth and gothic inspired witch school Alfea has an OxBridge rivalry with (How cool would that be in a live action? I guess we’ll never know…).

On Fate, Alfea is the only school we ever see, and it’s another beige boarding school in not-Britain, somehow set in a magical world where everyone has the exact same technology and even social media that we have on Earth in 2021, no transformations and, most egregiously, no fairy wings.

This lack of visual creativity is pervasive throughout the whole show, and its most heartbreaking iteration is in the characters' wardrobe. The styling has the barest bones of a color scheme, - such as 'Bloom has to only dress in red since fire, duh',- the clothes are ill fitting, bland, dark and very dated. These are supposed to be teenagers who enjoy fashion, and yet they look like varying types of soccer moms from 2010.

The series seems to operate on an old and tired vision that women and girls can’t have depth and have adventures and fight monsters while also caring about fashion, a vision that the original show played a big, big role in challenging in the early 2000's. Fashion and costume design sets as much of the tone of a visual medium as the script does; through clothes we can gauge characters’ backgrounds, passions, and personality.

Winx Club has some of the best examples of this in the cartoon sphere - Bloom’s comfortable and bright style, Stella’s glitzy and bold, Musa’s edgy and cool, Aisha’s sporty and fun, Techna’s neon and tech gear inspired, Flora’s earthy and romantic, they all work as extensions of each character and serve a narrative purpose. And that’s not even mentioning how insulting it feels that in their quest to make Winx “edgier, darker” and fit for an older audience, the creators of Fate somehow decided that was in opposition to caring about style and fashion. Most “girly” shows, including the Winx Club are just as much adventure action shows as the ones geared towards boys, and it’s emphasis in fashion, friendship and color does not detract from that. The original run of the cartoon deals with war, violence, grief, abusive relationships and even genocide; leaning into those plotlines would not require Fate to erase any integral parts of what made Winx so beloved, and the fact that they did shows that the Netflix team completely missed the point of fashion in the original show, and really, the point of fashion and costume design in the world building of any show.

That, however, is not a mistake K-Pop makes very often; (This might seem like a bit of wild swerve in topic, but stay with me here). Unlike it's western counterpart, the Korean pop scene never lost the emphasis on music videos and how the visual medium can complete and potentialize music and performance; the K-Pop culture is very album and concept oriented in a way that has been all but lost in many other pop circuits, and the music video, styling and set design of a ‘comeback era’ is a key point of excitement among fans.

As such, music videos that follow storylines, connected universes, boundary pushing concepts and visual effects are the norm, rather than the exception, and a list could be made of works that are beautiful examples of what a live action Winx adaptation could look like. In fact, and very smoothly, here is a small list of exactly that!

A Small List of K-Pop Music Videos That Are Better Winx Club Live Actions Than Fate: The Winx Saga

3. Red Velvet - Psycho

If it was a darker and more somber look that Fate wanted, there was a way to make it actually appealing. While it still feels a liiitle too grown up and elegant for Winx, (maybe this author is biased, as a full proponent for the Y2K fun) Psycho makes a very compelling argument for a witchy, mysterious, fairy tale-esque show that could look scrumptious and definitely not boring, or even a gorgeous example of what the witches in Cloud Tower could look like. Black and white, dark green, pastel blue and pops of jewel tones make Psycho's color palette. To add interest to the understated colors, the styling is heavy on textures; We see plenty of stonework, intricate embroidery, tassels, lace on lace on lace, feathers, bows, opera gloves and lots of glitter. All of that is offset by bold, dark makeup, leather accents and eerie cinematography. Needle & Thread, Marchesa Notte and Self Portrait lend their hyper feminine and intricately detailed tulle gowns, juxtaposed with the creepiness of the lyrics and the dark backgrounds; their deep berry and green fairy tale looks are built with pieces from Zara to Nina Ricci to Dolce & Gabbana to Alexander McQueen.

Red Velvet’s more edgy styling for 2018's Bad Boy would also not feel out of place on the Trix.

2. IZ*ONE - Fiesta

IZ*ONE kicked off 2020 with sweet and fun Fiesta. The MV features rooms with mismatched décor that go from retro to space opera, rocky faux landscapes that feel other worldly, and visual effects that would look perfect on the back of a transformation sequence. Mirroring the set design, the girls wear various outfits by sustainable up and coming brand Chopova Lowena. Their signature skirts made with discarded and repurposed fabrics give a cool and interesting twist on a schoolgirl look that would look very sweet for a band of school fairies that occasionally go off to save the world. Also, wouldn't those bedazzled headphones look great on Musa's fairy outfit?

1. Aespa - Black Mamba and Next Level

Aespa is what fans call a monster rookie. With only three music videos under their belt, they still have some of the most visually interesting work in the industry right now. Their concept is very tied in with high tech, featuring even AI avatars of each member, packaged in a glitzy, fantastical and futuristic aesthetic, candy pop meets cyberpunk. I think I’ve exhausted ways to say that is exactly what a perfect Winx adaptation should feature.

Their debut smash hit, 2020’s Black Mamba is truly a perfect moodboard for live action Winx. Wearing a sequined and colorful mix and match of Dollskill, Gucci, Didu and Balenciaga to a backdrop that features some alien fairy forest realness, a pyschedelic fever dream, rooms straight out of a Y2K catalog or donning lime green and black techwear inside a metro fighting the "black mamba", Aespa look through and through the part of fashion loving fairies who save the world together, while looking fierce, stylish and, most importantly, interesting.

The styling and the sets jump seamlessly from more casual colorful fits with blouses, shirts and baggy pants to barren, darkly lit backgrounds and fringe-and-glitter heavy pieces necessary to fight giant snakes, in a way so fitting to transformation outfits for magical girls we could cry.

In their third MV, 2021's Next Level, the cyber in their concept is taken up a notch (get it. because Next Level-), set to a futuristic urbanscape intersped with a planet made of crystals and the ocasional alien fauna popping up again. We get treated to Monse, The 2nd Skin Co., Johanna Ortiz and The Attico styled to fairy princess standards, sporty sky racers and a white and sequined group styling that is top ten fairy busy saving the world uniform material, or maybe even a specialist worthy getup.

This particular look from Ningning is so Techna that it almost feels as if it's mocking Netflix.

And doesn’t this Karina trapped inside the "black mamba" in Alexander McQueen feel like a perfect Dark Bloom moment?

These are only a few examples of interesting and creative designs that are in line with what a live action Winx Club should have given us. There are so many more I could list, even among other TV Shows, like Sex Education and even polemic dark Euphoria, that know how to have fun with style and design without losing the depth of their stories. In the end, it's hard to justify why Fate creators even wanted to make an adaptation that didn't even try to capture the heart of its source material, and all we can do is watch one more "Restyling Fate: The Winx Saga" video on Youtube whilst mildly dreading season 2.

[innytoes]

Today on ‘Fanfics I am not going to write but think about constantly’: the boys never die AU where Reggie is dating Widower Ray.

Sunset Curve makes it big, does all the tours, wins all the platinums, buys all the mansions. Well, Bobby does. Alex and Willie get a nice big house somewhere quiet, and Luke and Reggie have no clue what to do with all their money, so Luke buys a music shop downtown with an apartment above it and Reggie is like: dude can I move in with you the thought of a big empty house freaks me out.

(He eventually moves into his own apartment because for some reason Luke doesn’t like that Reggie’s dog wakes him up with kisses every morning, as if that is not a GIFT, Patterson, she is showing you she LOVES YOU you monster.)

So Reggie is like: still don’t like that empty apartment, kind of want to date, kind of don‘t know where to start because all the beautiful famous people at Bobby’s parties make me feel all tongue-tied, kind of want to meet someone romantically at the dog park but turns out 95% of dog owners are kindly old people and/or are already in a committed relationship. So he sulks on Alex and Willie’s couch while Willie gives Ellie The Dog all the bellyrubs and Alex tells him: dude just try a dating app.

And they basically steal his phone and go through his pictures and force him to take a cute one with Ellie because according to Willie ‘pictures of dudes with dogs are 100% panty-droppers’. And because Alex is an asshole he also installs grindr because if Reggie is too busy getting laid he’ll stop moping on their couch.

And Reggie doesn’t notice for like three weeks, and he goes on some awkward coffee dates, and he probably gets accused of catfishing at least once (and you know Luke laughs at him and tells everyone and they make a big deal of ‘how do we know you’re really Reggie Peters’ at the next rehearsal).

And then Reggie finally finds Grindr on his phone and he kind of freaks out (especially because Alex  knows Reggie too well so his profile is eerily accurate and his age range is embarrassingly on point). So he kind of turns it on at the dog park one day and oh god oh god someone shot him a message. 

And it turns out it’s a really hot photographer who was scouting for a location and instead of hooking up Reggie helps him find great spots in his neighbourhood for this couple’s engagement shoot because he jogs all over with Ellie so he knows all the best spots. And okay maybe they make out against Ray’s car a little and exchange numbers and go on a real date a few days later.

And things get serious and it’s really cute and Ray meets the guys and they only tease Reggie a little about his Silver Fox Thing. Alex is very smug that he got Reggie not only laid but a real boyfriend. Well done him he expects flowers and baked goods as a thank you. 

And Reggie and Ray have a very serious conversation about Ray’s kids and Rose and Reggie is like: I like that you still wear your wedding ring. I like that your love is forever. I’m just glad there’s room in your heart for me too.

And Ray is like: Rose would have loved you.

Because they talked about it before she died and she wanted him to move on and be happy, as long as that someone was good for the kids.   

And Ray eventually introduces him to his kids, and Reggie is So Nervous because he wants them to like him and also live up to what Rose wanted for Ray. Carlos is pretty chill about it and also thinks it’s hilarious that this Big Cool Rockstar is in fact a total dork just like his dad and he and Reggie totally have this big discussion about ghosts and Bigfoot and aliens. 

And Julie is a little wary because she knows how shitty The Media can be and she doesn’t want her dad to get hurt. But she relaxes when she realises Reggie is doing his very best not to get them dragged into that. And she’s just happy because he makes her dad Happy. So the next time he’s over she wears her mom’s old Sunset Curve shirt in silent approval and Reggie is like: omg those are so old did you find that at a vintage store or something?

And Julie is like: no it was my mom’s. She always told the story about how you guys got food poisoning and she had to drive your rhytmn guitarist to the hospital. 

And Reggie is like: oh yeah I remember that gig haha we went out for street dogs after the show and then nearly died, your mom was really cool anyway I need to talk to your dad brb. 

But inside he’s going: oh no oh no oh no I flirted with Ray’s wife, I tried to hit on Ray’s wife, aaaaaaaaaaaaa.  

And Reggie confesses all miserably and awkwardly because this seems like the kind of thing he should tell his boyfriend, what if she and Ray had already been dating back then? Had his seventeen year old self been a homewrecker? Meanwhile Ray is just dying laughing like: she only kept the shirts of bands she liked, so see, I told you Rose would have loved you. Also if you think she took you seventeen year old idiots seriously for a second you’re kidding yourself.

The only one who isn’t a fan is Victoria. She worries about Reggie’s influence on the kids, being a Rockstar and all (and is not reassured when Carlos tells her he’s ‘a big nerd who likes math’). And that he’s almost ten years younger than Ray. So one day she Says Something, and Reggie tries to explain how he’s trying very hard to keep the kids out of the press and also be a good role model, and then Ray is all: Enough. This is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with or however long we’re granted, Victoria. 

And everyone goes quiet and Reggie is all big-eyed because he was like ‘sure Ray likes me now and I met his kids but he’s going to get sick of me touring and being famous and all that eventually’. 

And they never get married, but they do get matching bracelets, and Reggie never ever takes his off because well, his love is forever too.

[psychdelia]

season 3 but instead of billy, neil was flayed.

he had been acting... off the last couple of weeks. distant and withdrawn, completely the opposite of how he usually is with billy.

he first notices the difference in behavior when the abuse stops. maybe he gets home late for dinner and instead of the usual stern look he gets before a smack when max and susan go to bed, neil just smiles all big and wide, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, before he welcomes his son home.

then neil starts coming home later and later, giving susan some bullshit excuse about work and overtime and she eats it right up. chooses to believe that he’s somehow morphed into the perfect husband and father overnight. on top of that, he smells like bleach and chemicals and his eyes seem so dead. billy can tell what the guy is thinking or feeling through one look at his expression, but now he’s just eerily blank.

so billy follows him on 4th of july, surprised to find himself in the starcourt parking lot for the second time that day - he dropped max off earlier to hang out with her shithead friends, but it’s past closing hours so she shouldn’t still be inside unless she’s at the movies, the only part of the mall that remains open late. he watches as neil marches into the mall, fists clenched at his side. billy has no idea why neil is even at the mall so late when he should be at work or wherever he’s been going and lying to susan about. so, he follows him in.

he doesn’t know what to expect, but seeing his little sister and her gaggle of friends screaming as neil gets closer and closer to them. squinting, billy can see black veins crawling their way up neil’s neck, discoloring his face and eyes. he jumps when he hears the first bang, the sound of a firework exploding way too close for comfort.

then he spots it. the huge slimey alien being that screeches when the first firework hits it, then second, third, and so on.

and like. what the fuck.

his eyes must be as wide as saucers as he stares at the thing, gangly and screeching with every hit, trying to swing at anyone it can reach. he doesn’t have time to process what the actual fuck he’s looking at when he hears someone yell his name. max.

“billy! BILLY!” she screams, absolutely terrified. “DO SOMETHING!” she demands.

immediately, his eyes search for fireworks. looking up, he finds harrington on the second floor in matching work uniforms with a girl - buckley, his brain distantly provides. they had the same ap literature class. the fireworks get louder and louder along with the monster. he eventually finds a small kiosk set up for the 4th, so he follows suit and grabs his lighter, blindly throwing at the monster as he watches the scene unfold in front of him. his father approaching a girl around max’s age with a maniacal expression on his face, eyes about to burst out of his goddamn head. he hears the kids screaming in protest to no avail. pretty soon, they run out of fireworks and his dad’s got this girl beneath him on the floor.

he’s about to intervene when the girl lets out this piercing scream, almost louder than the shadow, and suddenly his father is thrown up in the air then launched right at the monster. he’s caught mid-air by a tentacle - wait a goddamn second are those human body parts??? and teeth????? - right in the center of his chest. billy flinches, watching in horror as his father screams in pain before he’s dropped onto the floor, head smacking the tile before he goes limp.

it feels like the world goes still for a second, everyone standing still, eyes wide and mouths open in shock at the scene before them. distantly, he hears the monster screeching, but his eyes are locked on his father’s body - torn open and bleeding out. what eventually brings them all out of their stupor and back to the real world is the same girl standing and screaming at the monster, merely feet away from the thing. her hand is shaking in the air, nose dripping with blood as the monster’s screeches grow quieter, its body shrinking. soon enough, it hits the ground just like his father. limp and silent.

billy just watches the scene unfold, his mind racing yet completely blank. he knows he should move, grab as many little shits as he can and run, but he’s stock still, unable to process what he just witnessed. ironically, it ends up being the kids who run to him first.

“billy,” max calls as she reaches him. “billy!” she grabs his shoulders, shaking him until he acknowledges her. “billy we have to go. now! come on billy let’s go!” her hands are shaking as she grips his shoulders.

he blinks a couple of times before he nods once, then again.

“shit!” he hears harrington yell, footsteps approaching them as the two teenagers run down from the top floor right before it comes crashing to the ground. soon enough, the mall is falling apart, the ceiling caving in.

billy finally kicks into action, wild eyes and expressions matching everyone else’s as the teens drag the kids out of there, the group sprinting outside in time to watch the mall crumble to the ground with his dad’s body trapped in it.

he doesn’t know how much time has gone by when ambulances, fire trucks and police cars appear. he’s stuck in place as parents reunite with their children while paramedics check on everyone, wrapping heavy blankets around them. billy manages to sneak off to the side, hiding behind an ambulance. he spots max with sinclair and susan, harrington with buckley, girl and boy wheeler close to the three byers, accompanied by the police chief.

billy’s alone, he realizes. he looks back at the mall, now in flames and taking his father down with it. his hands and legs begin to tremble and he’s sliding down the side of the ambulance, unable to breathe as he hits the floor. hugging his knees to his chest and holding his head low, he takes in short breaths and ends up wheezing, unable to get enough air into his lungs. he doesn’t realize he’s crying until his vision is blurred and cheeks are wet. he’s hyperventilating and is pretty sure he’s about to black out.

billy’s alone.

everyone here has someone and he doesn’t.

his mother left and now his father is gone and he doesn’t, can’t understand why. yeah, neil was abusive and cruel but he was all billy had left. he lost his friends, the ocean, his life the second neil ripped him away from california and dragged him to a state where he knew he’d get hurt if neil caught him with a boy again like in cali, except this time he knew it wouldn’t be just neil pounding on him for his “sickness.”

billy misses his mom. wants nothing more than to be held and comforted by her. to hear her soft voice as she sings or hums or shushes him as she rubs his back and plays with his hair and kisses his head and tells him everything’s going to be alright.

except everything’s not going to be alright and now he’s sobbing silently, soft whimpers and harsh wheezing being the only noise leaving his body.

with the rest of the world tuned out and only hearing his own choked sobs and sharp breaths, he flinches when he feels the hand on his shoulder, trying to scramble away from it.

“hey,” the soft voice says. “its okay. hey, kid, it’s okay. it’s just me.” she immediately pulls her hand away, holding both up to prove herself as unthreatening. “just me.” she repeats gently.

billy slowly raises his head, eyes and cheeks red and blotchy and puffy and wet. he finds exhausted, sad brown eyes looking over him.

“oh, kiddo, you look like you’ve seen hell.” she sounds motherly. “c’mon, breathe with me. take deep breaths, okay? count with me.” she encourages as she kneels down to his level. “deep breaths. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, breathe. in and out, just like that. you’re doing good.”

pretty soon, his wheezes and rushed breaths even out. he takes his first deep breath of fresh air, releasing a shaky relieved sigh.

“you must be billy, max’s brother. i’m joyce, jonathan’s mom.” she introduces, except neither of them are in the mood for small talk. “i, uh,” she sighs. “there’s a lot we all have to talk to you about,” she sits down beside him. “but that can wait,” she assures. “until you’re ready.” she adds on quietly.

he stares at her a couple seconds before he breaks again, a strangled loud sob ripping its way through his chest and out of his mouth. he doesn’t even think about it before he launches himself at her, fully prepared to cry to this woman he’s barely met yet spent hours knocked out cold on her ground only after breaking one of her nice plates.

she - joyce - seems to have the same idea because as soon as he starts crying again she’s opening her arms and reaching for him. they meet halfway in the middle.

“it’s not fair.” billy chokes out, trembling in joyce’s surprisingly strong arms as she holds him upright. “it’s not fair.” he repeats, louder yet more broken.

“i know, sweetheart.” she nods, rubbing circles on his back with one hand, the other gently running through his hair. “god i know.” she sighs and, poor woman, it sounds like she’s been through it. he vaguely remembers hearing about her sons - zombie boy and creepy byers. his brain isn’t processing enough to connect any dots just yet.

“she-she just left,” he holds onto joyce tightly. “she left and now he’s gone.” he cries. “he’s gone.” he repeats, again and again. “they all leave. why do they all leave?” he asks weakly.

joyce’s heart breaks for the boy shaking apart in her arms, using her last remaining strength to hold him upright and provide any comfort she can. she can’t help but look around, searching the crowd for anyone who might be there for him. she frowns when she finds everyone’s eyes on them yet no one making any moves to approach. she wishes she could hate them all a little bit for it, for leaving him alone. letting him feel alone and unwanted. unlovable. she knows the feeling and it’s the worst.

“well, blondie, looks like you’re stuck with me now.” her attempt to make him feel less lonesome seems to work, just a little, if the way he squeezes her for a second is anything to go by. “i don’t give up. i don’t leave. i promise.” she kisses the top of his head, gets the scent of hairspray, cigarettes and ash.

over the top of his head she finds steve harrington still watching them, a distant look in his eyes. he seems conflicted, staring at billy with wariness as he bounces nervously from foot to foot, holding the blanket hanging loosely around his torso.

he seems to make a decision when billy releases another sob at her promise, striding over and draping his blanket over billy’s shoulders. he goes out of his way to tighten it around him, making sure it’s comforting and cozy around his trembling figure. he hesitates once again as he goes to walk away, fist clenching and unclenching at his side before he looks back to billy with sad, tired eyes and rests his hand on the blonde’s shoulder, squeezing just once before he walks away. the same hand is nervously flexing at his side once again.

[maxwell-grant]

One last one for the moment; top five superheroes who definitely AREN'T Pulp Heroes, but could be with a little tweaking?

Oof, that's a hard one. It's a hard one because, again, there ultimately isn't that much separation between the two to the point there's enough of a hard line in there to work with, but I guess the cat's out of the bag now that I've staked claims on there being differences between them.

Okay so, not counting superheroes who are deliberately modeled after actual pulp heroes, so no Tom Strong or Night Raven here. I'm sticking mainly with comic book superheroes (barring one oddball exception) since the medium separation is important), who I think could become pulp heroes with some tweaking.

5: Captain America

Sort of cheating because I already covered it here, but I definitely have to include Captain America in here, especially in the stories they actively go for a "pulp" vibe as well as the earliest ones.

Fun fact about Marvel: As Timely, they actually began life as pulp publishers. Not just pulp publishers, but specializing in some of the sleaziest, ghastliest magazines of the era, and you can bet this carried over to their superheroes. Where as DC's superheroes took inspiration from the big pulp heroes such as The Shadow and Doc Savage, Timely's superheroes seemed instead much more inspired by Weird Tales stories and Poverty Row horror films, and even in the 60s, Marvel never really abandoned their horror roots, the trick was just using them as a baseline to create superheroes. In DC, the world's first contact with superheroes begins with the world looking in wonder at a friendly strongman. In Marvel, it began with the world looking in panicked horror at a flaming monster rampaging through the streets desperately trying to not burn everything it touches. It should come to little surprise then that the majority of characters I'm including in this list are Marvel characters.

People think Captain America's first comics largely consisted of him fighting Nazis left and right, but they were actually much more often based around him encountering monsters and creatures of horror, like the above panel where it looks like Cap's staring down the beginning of Berserk's Eclipse (RIP Miura).

The early Captain America comics pretty much consisted of Kirby dipping his toe into the monster comics he'd make in the 50s which would later bleed into the 60s Marvel entourage. They even tried repackaging Captain America into a horror anthology in the 50s titled "Captain America's Weird Tales", just imagine how different the character would be today if that somehow stuck.

Imagine a world where Steve Rogers never became leader of The Avengers, never got to become the shining beacon of heroism of an entire universe, and instead, when he was unfrosted, he woke up to find a world running rampant with crawling nightmares and Nazi tyranny, and he has no idea what's become of his former sidekick. That definitely sounds like the start of a promising pulp adventure.

4: Namor

Another Timely creation. In Namor's case, he didn't so much encounter horrors from beyond imagination, as much as HE was the terrifying thing beyond us ready to rampage upon mankind, whose first on-screen act consists of the calculated slaughter of a ship full of innocents. The first true villain protagonist of comic books. Not just an anti-hero, a villain intent on wiping out the human race.

And not just a cardboard supervillain, but the beautiful prince of a race of ugly fish monsters, a momma's boy who's doing what he thinks is right by warring with surface dwellers. While Namor's become largely defined by his gargantuan arrogance, here, he's almost childlike, despite being much more brutal and villainous here, spurred on by the whims of his mother, who even acknowledges that Namor had no real reason to kill the divers but did so anyway, and now encourages him to genocide. His mom even tells him "Go now, to the land of white people!", and the very last panel of the story even states he's on a "crusade against white men".

The massacre of explorers at the hands of something beyond their understanding. A monster born of an interracial coupling. A race of fish monsters with bulging eyes, antagonistic towards humanity but are shown to have positive traits just the same. A dash of racism. There is no mistaking The Sub-Mariner's pulp horror influence.

A non-white superhuman warrior born from a Lovecraftian horror story, who gradually moves away from his villainous crusade into becoming more of an anti-hero, never truly putting aside his hatred for humanity, remaining a temperamental, unpredictable outcast, with a strong, palpable undercurrent of anger in his stories. I could very easily buy Namor as having crawled out of a Weird Tales story and I can't think of other superheroes whose origins are as steeped deeply in pulp horror.

3: Doctor Fate

Technically we already have a pulp hero version of Doctor Fate in Doc Fate, and I'll get to him separately, but even besides him, the earliest Doctor Fate stories in particular feel very much like he's a character steeped in the worlds of pulp and pulp horror who decided to put on a superhero costume and show up in comic.

He's got a similar set-up to The Shadow, from the pulp Shadow in the sense that he's a mysterious, eerie crimefighter who dwells as a presence more often than an active character and who kills criminals without remorse, always watching and waiting for the right time to strike as a a wrathful old-testament force of vengeance, and from the radio Shadow due to him using superpowers to fight crime while being accompanied by a smart, fierce love interest.

Originally, Fate was not a sorcerer, but instead a scientist who discovered a way to manipulate atomic structure, of his and other things, thus making it appear that he can do magic (although we never see his face, and he's implied to be thousands of years old, before they settled on the Nabu origin). And going back to Lovecraft, a lot of it appears in the earliest Fate stories. Fate was given powers not by a sorcerer, but an alien worshipped as a god. He barely encounters traditional monsters, but instead contends with hidden races, zombie slaves, abandoned alien monoliths, and half man and half fish creatures. Fate may have actually been the very first pastiche of Lovecraft in pop culture.

And of course we can't forget the gloriousness of Doc Fate pulling an Indiana Jones on us.

2: Wolverine

I don't even think you'd have to tweak Wolverine at all. You'd just have to get him out of the costume and Avengers/X-Men associations (although the X-Men have a substantial background in pulp sci-fi stories like Slan and Odd John, so they aren't really at odds here), maybe tone down his powers a bit and, that's it. Logan's already the kind of character who has such a varied sandbox history, whose powers can lead to so many different scenarios, that it's not a stretch at all to picture Wolverine in the usual pulp hero scenarios.

You can have half-naked Wolverine running around in the jungle with animals Tarzan-style, take him to Savage Land if you wanna throw dinosaurs in there. He's already Marvel's foremost "wandering samurai/cowboy" character which was one of the stock and trade types of the pulps. Western? Done. Samurai? Done. Wuxia? Just put him in China and add a couple extra fantasy elements. Wanna make a sword and sorcery story with him? He already comes with a bunch of knives and savagery and ability to survive grisly injuries. Horror? The MCU is crawling with them, or alternatively, tell a story from the perspective of someone who's being hunted down by Wolverine. Wanna tell a detective/noir/post-apocalypse story? Logan's right there.

Wanna have him crossover with pulp heroes? He's lived through the 1800s and 1900s and traveled all over the world, you could feasibly have him meet up with just about any of them. Logan may actually be the purest example of your question, because he's very much not a Pulp Hero, and yet, he definitely feels like a character who could have been one, at just about any point in the history of pulp magazines. He's perfect for it.

1: Wario

WAAA-okay, look, bear with me for a second here, I'm not just picking Wario because I love oddball choices and he's one of my favorite characters, I got some logic to this.

Okay so, the first question here: is Mario a superhero? While I'm usually adverse to calling characters prominent outside of comic books superheroes (hence why I'm definitely not interested in debating whether Harry Potter or Goku or Link or Frodo are superheroes), I do think it's a pretty shut case that, yes, Mario is a superhero. Superheroes don't just come in the form of skintight crimefighters, right from the start comic books have had varied types of superheroes appearing in comics and comic strips. For example, the "funny animal" superheroes are a type older than superhero comics, and they were arguably not only the most successful type of superhero of the 40s-50s era, but arguably defined trends dominating nonfunny animal superheroes, traits that predated or influenced Captain Marvel as well as Otto Binder's reshaping of Superman that defined much of superhero convention as we know it. It's part of why the question of "Is Sonic a superhero" has a very clear Yes as an answer.

So upon establishing that, yes, funny cartoon characters can be and are superheroes too, is Mario one? Well, I'd say yes. He's got an iconic uniform, he's got superpowers, he goes on fantastical adventures, he is both a nebulously general do-gooder as well as having a clear mission as protector of the Mushroom Kingdom. His adventures span multiple storytelling formats, he's got catchphrases, he even dresses up in Superman's colors and has a Super prefix iconically associated with him. Not a superhero the way we usually think of, but a superhero nonetheless.

And Wario? Well, putting aside Wario-Man who's more of a running gag than anything, Wario does just about everything Mario does. He's got all the traits that define Mario as a superhero short of a Super prefix and the selfless mission (which isn't exactly a rule). He goes around and gets into crazy adventures, he picks up items, beats bad guys, conquers the odds, and gets some kind of prize for it. He's got Mario's physical traits, and Mario's costume, and just about the same name short of a single letter. The caveat being, of course, that he's Wario, and so everything Mario is or does has to be exaggerated to gross extreme.

Mario is paunchy and strong, Wario's round and built like a powerlifter. Mario's got a friendly face and a fluffy mustache, Wario's got a massive horrible grin and jagged razors for a stache. Mario is a bit of an overeater, Wario can and will eat anything in front of him. Mario gets around with acrobatics and magic power-ups, Wario brute forces his way through everything and just rolls with whatever injuries he picks up along the way.

Mario gets fire powers by consuming magic flowers. Wario sets himself on fire and barrels around destroying everything in his path. Mario harnesses the elements or abilities of beings around him to clear obstacles and solve puzzles, Wario gets turned into a zombie, a vampire or a drunk to get the same things done. Mario befriends and rides dinosaurs who raised him from infancy, Wario piledrives dinosaurs and then uses their bodies to beat up more dinosaurs. Mario pals around with fellow heroes, princesses and friendly fantasy creatures, Wario pals around with aliens, witches, mad scientists, cab drivers, and lanky weirdos. Mario always ends his adventures joyfully leaping to the next one, Wario usually ends up either cackling in a pile of treasure or completely broke.

Mario races through plains to rescue princesses, Wario invades pyramids to hunt for treasure. Mario jumps through planets with baby stars guiding his path, Wario crashes into the Amazon jungle and fistfights the devil. You can see where I'm going with this.

If you were to take one of Nintendo's heroes to make them into pulp heroes, Wario, specifically the Wario Land Wario, may be the only one who really could do it, because in essence, he's the videogame equivalent of Professor Challenger. He's Bluto moonlighting as Indiana Jones, the weird brute adventurer for weird brute adventures where everything's off limits and you can trust our intrepid hero, who really shouldn't be a hero on all accounts, to deliver us a good time, give or take a couple deaths, scams, shams and oh-damns to complete said mad treasure hunts.

[saanphoenix]

“Why do so many old-school FFVII fans think that Cloud took Zack’s memories?”

Alright, so first things first. We gotta start from the beginning. We gotta start with Jenova.

Jenova is the name given to the alien entity known as the Calamity. “Heaven’s dark harbinger.” This being, assumed to be female because of the body she was in at the Crater, was basically godlike in her natural abilities. Historically, she was able to shapeshift. She was telepathic. She had a nigh indomitable will. And she used her abilities to infect the race of human(oid)s that happened upon her crash site--the Cetra.

Now, Ifalna, within the English translation of the OG, states that Jenova turned the Cetra into monsters, nearly wiping them all out, and that the wee few that remained basically had to be sacrificed to seal Jenova away before she could do anymore damage to all life on the planet. The notes Sephiroth finds within the Shinra Mansion seem to corroborate this version of events, as he tells Zack that the Cetra chose to fight the Calamity while the other humans “hid”, thus being spared Jenova’s shenanigans, allowing them to become the dominant race on the planet, but ultimately being cowards unworthy to be the shepherds of any star, to quote Emet-Selch from FFXIV. Stay with me now.

We also know that the notes Sephiroth reads within the Shinra Mansion do not, in any way, call Jenova the Calamity. They still refer to her as a Cetra. Meaning that those notes are outdated, before the discovery of a living Cetra, a Cetra who is 2000 years removed from her own people’s history. Right? So.

(’Ah, but what about Genesis point-blank telling Sephiroth the truth? He knew what was up!’ Yes, because Hollander and Hojo found out from Gast’s recordings, and Ifalna herself, what Jenova actually was, and then Hollander told Genesis, who then said some stupid ass shit to trigger Sephiroth into looking into the wrong information, and now Nibelheim is not Nibelheim anymore and Cloud is missing one more family member than he was when he joined Shinra. Also, fuck Genesis. Anyway.)

HOJO, yeah? Hojo, in two separate novels written by Nojima himself, states to Aerith and Tseng separately that Jenova 1) will inevitably infect all life on the planet with her “cells” because of the very nature of the Lifestream and 2) turned the Cetra against each other via subtle manipulation and illusions of their loved ones, dead or alive, conceived from their own memories. She didn’t show up looking like the Eldritch horror with the eyeball nipple, she showed up looking like a run-of-the-mill Cetra. And she would further disguise herself as people a Cetra knew in order to gain their trust. And then, after she had gained that trust, she would say shit like, “Hey. Your friend over there hates you,” or, “Hey. Your friend over there wants to kill you.” And thus the Cetra, at the very least morally but probably also physically, became monsters and tore themselves apart.

You ever wonder why everything the Cetra had was booby-trapped and hidden behind riddles and self-sacrificial bullshit like their Temple? My guess is because Jenova made it so they couldn’t trust anyone, even themselves.

“Why did I read all that? What does that have to do with Cloud voring Zack’s memories?”

Because we gotta understand the mechanics of this bitch first so that we know what to look out for.

Now, we have an alien in stasis--presumed dead but definitely not--and a buncha scientists who really want a coveted spot sucking President Shinra’s dick as head of the Science Dept. who all think that taking the genetic material of a Cetra and splicing it into a modern-day human’s DNA will give them a Geiger counter to the Promised Land. Which they want to use as fuel because only some of them really understand what mako is and the others are just fucking stupid. Anyway, my guess is that they archeology their way to Jenova’s still-kinda-alive corpse and do some DNA testing and go, “Ah! We’ve found a Cetra. It has to be one! She’s by the crater, after all, and that’s where some of them were nuked by a Meteor! :) We’re geniuses!” And Jenova, in the Lifestream, went, “GOTCHA, BITCH!”

And through the power of dino DNA, out pops a lot of nonviable lifeforms, some monsters, and, eventually, a relatively normal kid with a flare for the dramatic who will become wholly obsessed with apples and very boring literature that he will insist on repeating every five goddamn seconds. As he was no Geiger counter to the Promised Land, out pops another relatively normal kid who will grow up to have dreams, and honor, and steal food from his neighbors because he was so damn honorable that he just could not ask for a handout.

With Hollander and Gillian’s experiments not producing anything of note other than children that need love and support, Hojo and Lucrecia decide to take a slightly different sample of Jenova’s cells and just start sticking them everywhere. They’re in Lucrecia. They’re in Lucrecia’s fetus. And...something strange starts to happen.

Lucrecia starts to feel the effects of Jenova. Lucrecia’s mind and body start to kind of deteriorate. Not the way that Genesis’ and Angeal’s do later on, but she is plagued by shit like severe depression and fatigue. She falls out on the floor multiple times. Her bodyguard is a little late on pulling the trigger of the gun aimed at her husband and, instead of doing anything productive about her husband proving he’s an amoral murderous fuckhead, she just decides to play doll with her kinda undead bodyguard, get even sicker, and then, finally, pops out a very strange looking baby. In fact, he looks a little alien.

“No, seriously, what does this have to do with anything?”

Genetics. How Jenova cells work. Whatever clump of cells they injected into Lucrecia, clearly different from those used in Project G, seemed to focus more on the mental fuckery aspect of Jenova than the physical, shapeshifting aspect of Jenova. I would also argue that one of the reasons Lucrecia was so adversely affected by the cells and Gillian was not is their mental well-being. Gillian, even when we meet her, seems very upbeat and doing pretty okay despite her husband having died from exhaustion a coupla years back. Lucrecia was depressed and very subservient even before she married Hojo. Losing her mentor--Vincent’s father--probably exacerbated that. And, later in Advent Children, that sort of mentality--hopelessness and despair--is what Sephiroth’s Geostigma feeds off of. That and thoughts of death/dying. But that is more speculation than anything.

So, Sephiroth’s cells are different from Genesis’ and Angeal’s, and they were all three bred differently, but they’re all kinda chimeras of Jenova’s. And once Genesis learns about his origins, it’s like the lightbulb goes off. This guy’s creating clones by infecting his 2nd and 3rd Class SOLDIERs with his own cells. And when he does that, their physical appearance becomes his own. As does their will. Whatever Genesis wants, the clones also want. And then he just grows a wing for shits and giggles. Once he tells his BFF Angeal the sitch, behold! He’s got monster clones--maybe because he realizes how fucked up overwriting a human being with yourself is--and wings, too. ...Why?

The power to do all of this shit was always there. It was genetically always there. They just had to be made aware of it, to have the puzzle piece put into place. When Sephiroth dies, that puzzle piece is put into place. And then he starts fuckin’ with shit. And turns into monstrous angels. And then dies again. And then comes back and finally grows himself his own wing. He did it, fellas. He’s a big boy now.

But we’re not here to talk about Sephiroth--ignore how much I talked about Sephiroth and his mommies previously--we’re here to talk about ZACK and CLOUD.

“What’s up with Zack and Cloud?”

First, what we must realize is that even though Hojo says that both Zack and Cloud are failed clones because they 1) didn’t take on any physical characteristics of Sephiroth, 2) didn’t seem controlled by Jenova (or Sephiroth) and, 3) didn’t exhibit the other signs of a Reunion impulse like the other clones in Nibelheim that does not mean that Sephiroth’s cells, Jenova’s cells, are not working on them.

As we’ve observed in other 1sts, abilities do not always manifest immediately or even noticeably. Clearly, Sephiroth’s physical appearance is a bit of a hint, but Genesis and Angeal look pretty damn normal and, if it weren’t for their mako injections, they probably wouldn’t be showing that much of an increase in physical capabilities. Theoretically. Maybe 10-year-old Angeal had biceps the size of a man’s head. I mean. Pff.

Zack’s tolerance to Jenova was strong due to his previous exposure in the SOLDIER program. Cloud’s mind broke pretty early on. Neither of these results matter to the fact that they both now have Sephiroth’s cells within them--just as Genesis’ and Angeal’s clones had theirs--and that their very wills are now going to be affected by Sephiroth’s. But they are also going to be a little bit like him in terms of power.

Zack’s hair, when ingested by a Genesis clone, a clone of a Type-G SOLDIER, transforms that clone into a monster. Zack doesn’t even have to do anything. The Jenova/Sephiroth cells within his body can just Do That, cause that change in another life form, of their own accord. I’m honestly shocked that, whenever they gave Zack these S-cells, HE didn’t turn into a monster. But that’s neither here nor there. I wanna talk about Cloud.

Cloud has mako poisoning, which the Remake describes as his spirit/soul being stuck between his body and the Lifestream. Weird. Anyway, he’s not fully aware of his surroundings at all times, and he clearly can’t control his body that much. He somehow has the ability to kinda get his feet shuffling, and I’m going to go on a limb and say he can chew whatever food Zack gives him, but most of the time, he’s a puppet with cut strings.

But he is also still recovering from a mind break caused by Jenova cells. The same cells that are just chilling in his body, like they are in Zack’s. And all the months Zack is dragging his ass across a continent, an ocean, and another continent, they and Cloud are listening to whatever the fuck Zack is saying. Cloud is also constantly in physical contact with Zack.

In The Kids Are Alright: A Turks Side Story, Kadaj has the power to not only read surface thoughts and memories just by being near someone, but he can also read deeper ones by making physical contact with someone. Because Jenova. And Sephiroth, whose cells Cloud and Zack have, in the OG demonstrates that he, too, can glean thoughts and memories from others. Because Jenova.

If this power is a genetic trait, as it is with Genesis and Angeal, then, sitting pretty underneath their skin, Zack and Cloud have this ability. Dormant. Snoozing. Kinda like the 1st Class Trio’s wings.

But Zack has a high tolerance and a high ignorance to Jenova and just what he might be capable of. Cloud’s mind is floating in and out at best. He’s not in control of himself. And when you have a situation like that, it is very, very easy to come to the conclusion that Cloud’s Jenova cells are passively absorbing the memories of Zack’s time in Nibelheim. That they are knitting these memories together with what little remain in Cloud’s head. That when Tifa comes across Cloud at the train station and calls him by name and remembers who he is that Cloud’s Jenova cells latch onto those memories in Tifa--as Sephiroth tells them they did--and they knit those memories with Zack’s and Cloud’s and the end result is the man we get at the beginning of the OG.

Because Cloud has visual memory of shit he never saw. It’s not just a visual medium telling a visual story. You wanna know how I know that for a fact? Because, in the Remake, Cloud remembers Sephiroth walking up to Jenova’s tank in the reactor from Sephiroth’s perspective. He is looking through Sephiroth’s eyes, through his memory, up at “Mother.” In that moment in the Remake, Cloud is Sephiroth. He’s not Cloud anymore.

Cloud sees Sephiroth delivering the speech of being an Ancient. Cloud wasn’t there. Cloud didn’t see that. Zack did. That is Zack’s memory.

The man writing the Remake is the same man who’s been at the head of MOST FFVII writing. He was on the OG, he wrote Advent Children, he wrote the novels, he wrote Crisis Core, he’s writing the Remake. He knows what these cells can do because he’s crafted this world-building for decades.

Cloud didn’t take all of Zack’s memories. He didn’t need to. Kadaj, in the novel, doesn’t glean everything from someone right off the bat. Because he doesn’t need to. Only when he needs to learn something else does he go digging. The same is probably true for what Cloud’s cells most likely did to be able to know what he knows. Hell! Kadaj gets punched in the novel and he ACCIDENTALLY picks up the emotions and memories of the guy who punched him. He didn’t want ‘em but he got ‘em!”

There is evidence within the OG, and even more within the Compilation, that lend weight to the theory that Cloud unintentionally read Zack’s mind when it came to the events of Nibelheim.

For years, people have wondered, “How the hell does Cloud know that if he wasn’t there?” For years, people have wondered, “How can he use the Buster Sword if he was just a little grunt that used a gun all the time?” The logical answer is, “Because of his Jenova cells. They can just do that shit.”

[davids-cartoon-corkboard]

Okie dokie folks here’s that Stone speculation I was talking about. Like I mentioned before, each Stone ends up with someone who desires its power- Jo wants to travel, Rosa wants to be a “big kid”, etc. What do the side characters want, and what sidekick-y power would help them get it?

We’re dealing with eight characters so this will be split into multiple posts. First up is Carl!

Together Carl, Carlos/Ramona, and Carla loosely correlate to the Three Fates from Greek mythology. The first spins the thread of fate, the second determines its length, and the third cuts it.

Flo asks Carl if he can climb walls in “Big Win”, a clear reference to Spiderman. Spiders are pretty good at spinning thread!

Carl is the youngest of the trio; he has no child like Carlos or signs of age like Carla. Furthermore, his few lines so far indicate he’s still pretty childish.

“Hope the glue didn’t ruin their powers.” Carl was being a bit of a stinker by messing with Kid instead of wholly playing along or just not engaging.

Aaaand he’s the one who called Kid “the comic relief”. GDI Carl there were consequences to that statement.

“I don’t feel safe anymore!” He covers his eyes with his hands when he’s scared. Baby boy. Baby.

There are also a few instances where Carl acts like he’s more on top of the situation than he really is.

When Papa G 95 exposits about the Demon Death Dogs of Doom, Carl replies with “knew it”.

Once the fight is won, he says “I always knew they had powers. I just didn't wanna spoil the surprise for ya.”

When the townsfolk meet the five aliens, he says “What’d I tell ya?”

Carl never snooped around to discover/deduce anything about the plot ahead of time, so he’s clearly lying to make himself seem more impressive, a decidedly immature trait!

Though he may genuinely be an expert in super rare ceramics.

Carl wants others to think highly of him, to the point that he’s willing to lie and make Kid the butt of his jokes. “Spinning a yarn/tale” is an idiom meaning to lie or embellish the truth. Carl’s Stone will give him the power of Illusion, and it will be Opalescent to reflect his many-colored outfit. This will allow him to trick enemies into chasing after victims and running from monsters that aren’t actually there, as well as conjure sights and sounds to entertain allies. But returning to the Spiderman reference, failing to use this power responsibly will have consequences! Carl will use his illusions to show off, attracting unwanted attention in a galaxy full of villains hungry for cosmic power. His character development will have him learn to be more honest and humble, only lying when the situation truly calls for it.

---

(Carl: You Are Here) (Carlos and Ramona) (Carla)

(Hamburg and Fry) (Flo) (Chuck)

[flimflamfranky]

Please show me your AUs

*slams down the heavy tome* i hope you are ready for the can of worms you’ve unleashed. also, i’m sorry for any hopes i get and subsequently dash.

so, in no particular order, we have: - klabaturerman franky. now this one i have done things for but i still wanna. do more. like, him interacting with the merry, and the crew learning what he is, that sort of things. - related to this, is a more general sea spirit/fae franky au, just cuz i like fae stuff. i do have some art ideas for this, i just. haven’t done any of them yet. - supernatural frobrobin au, where franky is a (recently turned) werewolf, robin is a vampire, brook is…brook, and they’re all trapped in a magic mansion by some curse. and it’s just them growing close and bonding and trying to break free. also, ghibli vibes. - speaking of ghibli…howl’s moving castle au. featuring franky as sophie with a curse that turns him into a perceptually broken robot, and robin as howl, but with her canon backstory with the government. also has luffy as calcifer, usopp as merkel, brook as turnip head, and nami/crocodile as a weird split version of the witch of the waste (with croc as the villain and nami as the redeemed version). - a pacific rim au, expect it takes place in a post-apoc version where the kaiji have basically won. starts with luffy, usopp, and chopper finding an abandoned jaeger and decided to pilot it. not sure abt the plot on this one, but it does have franky as a disillusioned former jaeger pilot/engineer. - my franky/blueno au, which is being run by vibes and little else. pretty canon-compliant, but with blueno and franky becoming friends (and possibly more) and then dramatically falling out after the reveal. i initially described it as enemies to lovers, but really, it's lovers to enemies. no happy ends here, boys. - several, count ‘em, SEVERAL franky/rosi aus, cuz i got way to into them and had a lot of ideas and then. never did anything with them - main one is them having a meet cute in water 7, before rosi goes undercover with doffy and before the whole sea train thing happens (rosi’s about 24yo, franky’s 21). it’s basically just them bonding and being cute before going their separate ways. - the other one is a sprawling splitting mess of an au that has the two meet as kids on the streets and becoming fast friends. then they get found by sengoku  and becoming marines, with rosi training with sengoku and franky becoming vegapunk’s protege. I had one idea where they were close to saul, and after the arrest of olivia became disillusioned with the marines and helped her escape, and then joining her try to save ohara. another branch is rosi still going undercover with doffy, but with franky in tow, and that whole she-bang happening, but with franky, rosi, and law all escaping alive. plus a bunch of minor plot threads that i'm forgetting. again, it's a mess. - various frobrobin aus set in the early-mid 19th century (20s-50s mostly) with mobs, romance and political intrigue. - a roleswap au that i have bits and pieces of written, i’ve just never finished it. unfortunately doesn’t have jinbe in it cuz he’s just too hard to swap with, and i started this before he joined. - i’ve written a summary of this before, but my rouge adopts franky au that ultimately leads to franky being a big bro to asl. - a disney's beauty and the beast au, where robin is the “beast” (cursed child who has been outcast from society and became a monster to survive with a flower motif) and franky is the “beauty” aka belle (intelligence child of an eccentric inventor whose ostracized by the town and willing to sacrifice himself to save another). has lucci as an altered gaston and the straw hats (+ others) as various cursed castle residents. - an arc style idea (not really sure if it counts as an au) where franky gets kidnapped and experimented on by the government. basically my whumptober comic, but in long-fic form. - pokemon aus! i’m mostly entertaining these two: - one piece but with pokemon, and how the straw hats met their various pokemon partners. - and a pmd au with the straw hats as the pmd starters (this one is a drawing, so i might actually finish it) - and i do wanna do something with pokemon gijinka, i just

haven’t given it much thought. - an au where law convinces franky to join his crew bc doffy has been trying to muscle in on water 7 and law is basically like, "we both hate this guy, let's team up". this one is very shaky, but I do still love the idea. - a subnautica au? hear me out. it has the straw hats as space pirates that infiltrate the aurora right before it gets shot down, and they end up trapped on the alien planet. they get split into three main groups: franky, luffy, usopp / robin, chopper, jinbe, sanji / zoro, nami, brook. and they all basically try to survive and find the others in their own ways.

- an au where the crew stops at a weird marriage theme island and franky and brook get married by accident. which is a problem cuz this marriage is ~magic~ and psychically bonds them together. so the crew has to figure out how to undo it. also features frobrobin and zosopp. - a cookie run crossover au, with the straw hats as cookies. pretty basic, expect i, like with most things, went overboard and then never finished it. - and some zosopp aus! - a superhero actor au, where usopp is a new actor playing sogeking in a new kids show and zoro is the main villain, and they fall in love. - an au where usopp is a tengu that guards a small forest (but mostly plays harmless pranks) and zoro who is a lost woodsman, and they become close and fall in love. And also maybe save the forest from a rich jerk along the way. - a gurren lagann crossover au, where usopp is simon and franky is kamina, with all the angst that implies. i really like this concept, but I haven’t actually finished gurren lagann, so… - a leverage au, where the straw hats are a band of thieves that help people out. basically taking canon and sticking in a thief/modern au. - you know those one piece rewrite aus? i have one of those, surprise, surprise. starts with gin joining the straw hats with sanji and quickly branching off from there. other big changes include: - jinbe getting introduced super early and helping the straw hats with arlong, and then becoming an ally until he later joins - brook getting swept back to the beginning of the grand-line and meets the straw hats when they first arrive. gets to reunite with laboon before decideding to join the straw hats to finish his old crew’s journey. - a delay in loguetown means that croc succeeds in taking over albasta and the straws hats help vivi overthrow him (with robin working with cobra in the background to betray croc); ends with vivi joining the straw hats bc she publicly allied with pirates - franky running from water 7 with the blueprints and ends up working for doflamingo. He gets sent to check in on croc (and search for robin) after he takes over alabasta and ends up kicking it with the straw hats and eventually deciding to betray doffy and join them - there’s like. a lot more, but if I do ever end up writing it I don’t wanna spoil all of it. - but im probably not, cuz this would be looooooong. *lets out a deep breath* and that’s about it. and if anyone wants to steal any of these ideas, please do, i would love you forever.