#project management triangle

[stevensavage]

When Good Things Are Bad Ideas

(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com, Steve's Tumblr, and Pillowfort.  Find out more at my newsletter, and all my social media at my linktr.ee)

In Project Management there’s something called the Iron Triangle or the Project Management Triangle.  A project has to balance between Time, Scope, and Cost to keep up quality.  You can have two the way you want at best, but the third will become unpredictable, unlimitable, or you’ll have to accept some serious changes.

If you want things done your way on time, get ready for it to cost more.  If you want something at a set cost and scope, get ready for time to get a might out of control.  If you want things on time and for a set cost, get ready to reduce your scope.  Play too fast and loose and things will fall apart.

We’re taught that doing things Fast (time), Accurately (Scope), and Cheap (cost).  But those things aren’t always good and can’t always be done together.  We Project Managers remind people of this again and again, often with “I told you so.”

Which leads me to our current crisis in social media where everything is, well, rather dumb.  I have no idea where the hell Twitter is actually going.  Facebook keeps trying new things, but the core experience is kinda ad-filled and unpleasant.  There’s not a lot of innovation out there, and it’s becoming more and more clear we’re the product.

But when you think of the Iron Triangle it all makes sense.  Social Media companies want to have it all ways – making money (cost) do everything to keep people and advertisers (scope) and do it all fast (time).  As people like me constantly remind folks you cannot do this.

Sometimes cheap, effective, and fast are bad ideas.  My job – my own habits – lead me to wanting to be cheap, effective, and fast and I know they’re not always good.

Social media is “free” but the money has to come from somewhere and people invested in it want to make money.  This means the enshitification we’ve seen is near inevitable.  People don’t want to pay, advertisers aren’t always happy, and executives want to make the big bucks.  That may not be sustainable.

Cost is a problem in social media (and that cost isn’t always money).

Social media has to provide some service but there aren’t a lot of new ideas (look at all the Twitter clones), and way too much seems to be well we got used to it.  I’m suspicious that a lot of social media we love now is habit not it’s stuff we actually need.  Throw in companies trying to do everything or anything regardless if it can work or people want it?

What’s the scope for social media?  Hell, who’s the real customer?  The users aren’t exactly unless you charge appropriately and that brings in the cost problem.

Finally, sure social media is efficient in some ways – you do a lot, fast, in a unified interface.  Sure technology lets us deliver features fast.  But is fast good?  Who needs new features we don’t care about?  Is it really vital we be able to reply immediately to someone’s movie opinions?  So we need to do everything from one app that’s also potentially vulnerable?

What’s the real timeframe we need with our social media – if we need social media as we know it now?

Social Media has walked face-first into the Iron Triangle which would normally collapse projects and businesses.  But they got enough of a footprint, did enough right at first that they can keep going, maybe forever.  But at best right now a lot of them are a mix of pet projects and money extraction machines, and maybe lawsuit fodder.

Some of us might even get to say “I told you so.”  Well, more than we have.

Steven Savage

www.StevenSavage.com

www.InformoTron.com

[lostconsultants]

The Iron Triangle Illusion: Why Scope, Budget, and Time Are Never Really Fixed

The Iron Triangle illusion is one of the biggest myths in project management. The idea that you can lock down scope, budget, and time at once sounds great in theory, but in reality, one of these factors is always compromised—whether organisations admit it or not. Despite the best efforts to keep control, the real trade-offs happen in quality, team health, and long-term sustainability. So why do…

[akanshasharma123]

Navigating PMP Renewal: Sailing Smoothly Through the Recertification Water”

Embark on a journey to ensure the longevity of your Project Management Professional (PMP) certification with "Navigating PMP Renewal: Sailing Smoothly Through the Recertification Water." This resource is your compass through the intricacies of maintaining and enhancing your PMP credential

[krysmcscience]

At long last: either an alternate explanation for or continuation of my prior comic regarding how Bill was ABSOLUTELY naked in Ford's karaoke night drawing. (Because errors in art do not exist. Artists do not make mistakes. So if you see any in this comic, No You Do Not.)

I am so normal about these old dorks.

I'm not really clear on exactly when Bill started throwing his desperation book at Ford just like a needy ex do, but I find it extremely funny to imagine it happening literally the day of or after the makeshift funeral. Bill just gets this weird sense of 'Ford is taking steps to move on' and CANNOT FUCKING ABIDE.

I hope you enjoy all the goofy things I added to each page of Bill's sad spieling. (Everything SHOULD be readable so long as you view the full size, but I have added basically this whole little fanfic in the image descriptions, LMAO, which lays out all the little written notes and such.) Also don't ask how Bill managed to sneak that vampire pen in there. I have no idea, and honestly? I don't wanna know.

Oh, and a little bonus comic:

Of course Bill would take it as flirting. Because between the two of them, Bill is the bigger masochist By Far. :)

Also I have continued applying The Good Place logic to any of Bill's attempts to swear. Case in point, one last bonus image, this time with a motivational line from my slapdash Theraprism OC, EV-01:

Yes, its name is just 'love' backwards. No, I will not be taking any feedback on this. Yes, EV-01 was only ever assigned to Bill's case due to the Theraprism being desperate to make some progress in rehabilitating him. No, it did not work anywhere close to staff's expectations - Bill didn't even appreciate EV-01's matching fondness for bowties! (He claimed the fondness to be "cultural appropriation" and insisted he'd been traumatized by it.)

Anyway, if you like my stuff, reblogs are very much appreciated, and if you really really like it, perhaps consider my commissions or yeeting a teeny tiny tip my way? I am trying to recoup over 500 dollars in vet bills, ahaha... 🙃

In other news, I loved all the fun tags people added to the prior naked-karaoke comic (such as 'the hat and bow-tie stay ON during sex' and the classic '[insert keysmash here]', as well as the many amused/bewildered remarks about how I either made the bricks a piece of clothing or just straight up peeled Bill's skin off). However, I think my favorite thing by far was the several people losing their shit over the fact that I gave Bill toes. Like, excuse me? The magical talking triangle can have fingers but not toes??? Since when was that a rule????? 🤣 (Also the one person who reblogged with the cropped panel where Bill's fishnets pants are falling off to ask why Bill peed himself. Dude, I want to examine your brain...?)

Okie-dokie, I'm sick of looking at all of this stuff now and I'm off to go to work, after which I will either scribble some more goofy "Billford" comics or perhaps draw my lame human!Bill in Situations, idk yet. Maybe I'll even finally draw more than just a single other person's human!Bill...? Who knows, but I sure hope I can mix it up a little and not turn whatever I draw into a month-long fukken project. >:\

[moonstruckme]

hihi mae!! in honor of the season, could i request reader convincing bodygaurd!james to carve pumpkins together. and it’s basically just him on the brink of cardiac arrest bc reader is using the biggest butcher knife possible, like an absolute menace, and he’s 100% convinced she’s gonna saw her fingers off lol. thx for considering ♡

Thank you lovely!!

bodyguard!James x fem!reader ♡ 814 words

James has half a mind to find you a plastic knife and let you make do with that. It might take you a while longer, yeah, but at least he wouldn’t have to feel every muscle in his body tense each time you stab the knife you’ve picked through your pumpkin. 

“I thought you were doing a cat,” he says, watching you push another piece out from what will be your pumpkin’s mouth. 

“I am.” 

“Why does it have fangs?” 

“It just felt like it should.” You shrug. “Sort of spookier that way, right? Maybe it’s a vampire cat.” 

“And here I thought it was going to be cute.” 

You smile at him. “No, Jamie. That’s yours.” 

With all his attention on making sure you don’t slash yourself, James has made pitifully little progress on his own pumpkin. He’s only managed to cut out the nose, but when he’s done it’s going to be a classic, smiling jack-o-lantern, except with hearts for eyes. You’d beamed and called it fitting when James told you his plan. He’s been ruminating over what you could have meant by that ever since. 

For his own project he’s using a small paring knife, mostly because he’d hoped you’d follow his example (what wishful thinking that was) but also because James doesn’t tend to do well with precision and he didn’t see a big knife helping matters. You, however, have selected what may be the largest knife he’s ever seen. He can’t comprehend what a beast that size would even be necessary for in a kitchen, much less for carving a pumpkin. Your unskilled grip on the handle makes the hairs on his arms stand on end. 

“I think we ought to find you a different tool,” he tries again. 

“James, you worry too much.” You roll your eyes, hardly looking as you shove your knife through the flesh of your pumpkin. He flinches. “This one is working fine.” 

“Right, I just feel like—” You do it again. James worries he’s developing an eye twitch. “—like possibly I’m not doing my job by letting you handle a weapon like that.”

“It’s not a weapon, it’s a kitchen knife.” 

Again, not a clue what in the kitchen could require a knife that large. 

“I think its capacity for injury is the same regardless, angel. Let me have it, please? That way I can keep working here and you can keep all of your fingers.” 

“You need to chill out,” you say, unnervingly serene for someone who seems to James on the precipice of life-changing injury. “This knife is the perfect size for how big I want my eyes to be. If I have to saw using another one, they won’t look as clean.” 

“Is that really worth risking your hand for?” 

“Yes. I want the triangles to look nice when I stick them onto the top as its ears.” 

“How are you going to do that?” 

“With toothpicks.” 

Right. A more moderate risk of injury, for sure, but James is now too high-strung to imagine anything other than disastrous outcomes between you and sharp objects. He imagines you skewering one of your lovely fingertips on a toothpick, the surprised look on your face when it happens. His own heart bursting straight out of his chest from overexertion. 

“Maybe I could do that part for you,” James suggests weakly. 

“Shit.” You’re looking into your hollow pumpkin. “The eye won’t come out.” 

“Let me try.” 

“No, I’ve got it.” 

Before he can stop you, you’re sticking your knife inside your pumpkin. It comes spearing out the other side a moment later, the triangle of one eye impaled on its tip. James chokes on a gasp as you stop it within inches of your abdomen. 

“There,” you say satisfiedly. 

James makes a strangled sound. “No,” he says, seizing your wrist and carefully removing the knife from your hand. “No, I can’t do it. We’re swapping.” 

“What?” You look at him with wide, wounded eyes. It’s adorable, compelling even, but James won’t allow himself to budge. “But your knife is so lame.” 

James guffaws. He feels half delirious. This is it, he thinks. His love for you has finally driven him insane. 

“It’s not lame.” 

You pout. “It’s tiny.” 

“Sweetheart.” James sets the knife down to hold your face in both hands. You go still with surprise. “If you stab yourself with your giant knife, I won’t be around to get fired. I’ll die of heartbreak. Do you understand?” 

You roll your eyes at him, but you’re softening. “You really like my hands that much?” 

“I like all of you. In tact. You’re perfect as you are.” 

“Fine, whatever.” You pull your face from his grasp, picking up the smaller knife. “I know you secretly just wanted to be the one with the bigger knife, though.” 

“Yeah, you’ve caught me. Can’t get anything past you.”

[bee-the-loser-recs]

✩✮✩ My Soobin One-shot Fic Recs ✩✮✩

★ Feelings for you By @txt-trash 19.3k, roommates au, Soobin has a shitty ex, strangers to friends to lovers, hesitant to date at first, fluff, smut, barista Soobin, college graduates, one instant of fake dating

★ Friendly desires By @txt-trash 8.8k, college au, friends to lovers, jealousy, kind of himbo Soobin, flirting, smut, fluff, helping one another get with someone else, accidently falling for each other

★ Alice in Wonderland By @acidsoju 21.1k, basically an Enchanted au, Prince Soobin, fantasy au, royalty au, multidimensional au, Prince Soobin in the modern world, fluff, angst, falling in love, "doomed relationship", slow burn, best friend Yeonjun

★ Lost in Neverland By @acidsoju 22.7k, part 2 to Alice in Wonderland, fantasy au, royalty au, multidimensional au, waking up in Soobin's dimension, fluff, angst, romance, love triangle, mage Beomgyu, second lead syndrome, slow burn

★ Muse [part 1] & [part 2] By @acidsoju 4.9k, college au, smut, poetry major!Soobin x art major!reader, alcohol, struggling to find motivation/inspiration, slight fluff, friends TXT, art major!Kai, helping one another

★ Loser By @acidsoju 4.6k, college au, project partners, fluff, smitten Soobin, slice of life, romance, kind of loser Soobin, alcohol, pining

★ Class Prez By @acidsoju 4.4k, high school seniors, enemies to ??, class president!Soobin, troublemaker!reader, smut, fuck buddies?

★ When your lips touch mine By @wonustars 4.2k, college au, friends? to lovers, classmates, meeting after being stood up, cheering up, smut, slight fluff, undeniable attraction, kind of obsessed with one another, friend Yeonjun

★ Random texts w/ Bf!Soobin By @saursoob SMAU, established relationship, fluff, slight sexual innuendoes, humour

★ Level up By @iicehoon Streamer Soobin, established relationship, they both play videogames, cute relationship, fluff, being on stream

★ Home By @tubatwo 1.2k, established relationship, fluff, slight angst, jealousy, silly flirting from friends!TXT

★ When you forget to switch accounts By @bowlofsoob SMAU, Spotify media manager!reader, accidents, forgetting to switch accounts, fangirling, flirting, meet cutes, cute relationship, sexual innuendoes

★ Awakened desires [part 1] & [part 2] By @lexawoah13 Non-specified au, likely non-idol au, friends to lovers, smut, slight fluff, discussions of relationships, drunk moments

★ Our little darling By @sophvilla Yeonjun x reader x Soobin, unspecified au, bf Yeonjun, best friend Soobin, smut, threesome

★ Truth or drink! Engaged edition By @beom-pyu Part of a series, based on YouTube videos, answering questions, truth or drink game, fluff, suggestive comments

★ Texts with bf!Soobin By @blue-jisungs SMAU, fluff, established relationship, slight suggestiveness, cuteness

★ Lather By @jjunieworld 2.5k, smut, rich playboy!Soobin, strangers to hook-ups??, charity events, raising money, sexual innuendos, other girl idles as friends, bikini outfits

★ Inexperienced!reader x soft dom!Soobin By @txtistheloml Established relationship, straight up smut, pwp, idea of corruption

[sunsetcupid]

YOUNG LOVE ; UNIVERSITY!AU.

synopsis: They say that high school are the best years of your life. . .But welcome to YUN, where three love interests are waiting in the wings for you. Freshman!Isack Hadjar, who is assigned as your partner for a physics project. Junior!Oscar Piastri, who is the lead manager of your new workplace. And Senior!Max Verstappen, who is your Dutch tutor.

trigger warnings: Use of Y/N; Use of feminine pronouns from the reader’s perspective; Depiction of a love triangle; Descriptions of romantic acts and behaviors; Suggestive remarks

a message from the author: When I tell you, this took me over a week to make. . . Think of this as a Gossip Girl!AU, but set at a University (Your University Name, or YUN for short). There are three love interests, plus some cameos from extra characters (Yes, Lando and Oscar are dating in this). At the end, you will choose which love interest you want. I am so curious to see who you all like the most! Enough of my yapping, I hope you love this just as much as I do. Have fun reading!

yourusername First year at YUN has officially started!

comments 150

user1 Very excited!

user2 Can’t believe we’re already in uni

user3 Time flies 🥹

user4 What are you majoring in again?

user5 Has anyone downloaded the YUN Gossip app?

user6 OMG yes! Heard it was where everything goes down…

yourbffusername Best roomie 😋

yourusername All set up!

yourbffusername replied to the Instagram story

So aesthetic 😍

user7 replied to the Instagram story

Love the layout!

user8 replied to the Instagram story

What dorm are you in? Your room looks awesome!

user9 replied to the Instagram story

Littt ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

user10 replied to the Instagram story

Miss you already!!

comments 3

isackhadjar Hello Y/N, it is nice to see someone who shares the same major. Programming has always been an interest of mine, though coding does give me a headache sometimes.

user11 Hi Y/N, I am also from England, but I’m native to Oxford. You’re so lucky to be born in London! I visited once and it was super interesting. Have you ever taken a tour inside Buckingham Palace?

user12 Hey Y/N, I’m a freshman as well! Are you nervous at all for the next four years? My sister just graduated last year as a Psychology major, but I’m majoring in Chemistry. I’ve heard some things about how tough college is, but I think we’ll both make it through!

|| [NEW EMAIL]

From: Professor Yates (emeyates@yun.org)

To: PHY3009

BCC: Physics Project (DUE 08/30)

Dear Class,

For those who missed today’s lecture, a new project has been assigned for this class. Partners were listed on the whiteboard, and a photo is attached to this email. If there are any concerns with these pairings I have selected, please let me know by 08/17.

Thank you all, and have a great day.

Sincerely.

Professor Emelia Yates

🖇️ phy3009partners.png

yourusername

comments 24

isackhadjar WHY THAT PHOTO?? I feel betrayed

user11 Summer I Turned Pretty mention! 💖

user12 HAHAHA 3rd slide

user13 Slayyy

yourbffusername <3

user14 LOL 😭 😭 😭

|| NEW NOTIF: YUN Gossip [08/19] — Looks like Christmas will be coming to YUN early, because Die Hard will be playing at the Wilson Theater on 08/22. Buy tickets now!

|| NEW NOTIF: YUN Gossip [08/22] — Leaked photos attached between Freshman Isack Hadjar and rumored girlfriend at YUN movie night!

|| [NEW EMAIL]

From: Oscar Piastri (oscpiastri@mayleaf.com)

To: Y/N L/N (ynln@yun.org)

BCC: Interview

Dear Y/N L/N,

Thank you for applying for a position at Mayleaf Books. We appreciate your interest at working at our bookstore. Combined with your previous experience, we would like to offer you a role as sales associate. The starting pay is $12 per hour.

Please respond to this email as soon as possible to ensure that you are accepting this position.

Regards,

Oscar Piastri (Lead Manager)

yourusername Everyone calls him polite cat, but I think he’s really a grumpy cat. Comparison post coming soon.

oscarpiastri replied to the Instagram story

Stop playing around and maybe I’d be nicer to you

user15 replied to the Instagram story

Seeing Oscar Piastri slander on my feed was NOT expected, but I’ll take it!

user16 replied to the Instagram story

I SEE IT 🫢

user17 replied to the Instagram story

Wait because you’re cooking...

yourbffusername replied to the Instagram story

He’s lowkey fineeee 🥵🥵🥵

yourusername God bless Nora Roberts

comments 19

user18 SEND ME BOOK RECS

user19 I love her books too, OMG! 🤯

user20 Cool book haul!

oscarpiastri Looks like those are interesting books. Let me know how they are once you have read them.

user21 Love this 💓💓

|| NEW NOTIF: YUN Gossip [01/02] — Junior Oscar Piastri caught in a passionate makeout session with Junior Lando Norris and unknown girl inside Mayleaf Books!

|| [NEW EMAIL]

From: Fernando Alonso (feralonso@yun.org)

To: Y/N L/N (ynln@yun.org)

BCC: New Classes for the Spring Semester

Dear Students,

New classes will be added to the curriculum starting this spring. A full comprehensive list can be found in the attachment of this email. If there are any concerns, send them forward to jenbutton@yun.org.

Respectfully,

Fernando Alonso (Dean)

🖇️ springclasses.pdf

yourusername Another long day at the library. #I HATE DUTCH.

user22 replied to the Instagram story

Me right now with French 🤝

user23 replied to the Instagram story

Most valid crash out

yourbffusername replied to the Instagram story

Sighh 😥

maxverstappen replied to the Instagram story

Maybe if you listened to me, you would like it more. I’ll be there in ten minutes.

yourusername Guess I have to thank maxverstappen now 😔

user24 replied to the Instagram story

No, his ego will get too big and he will float away 😓

user25 replied to the Instagram story

AWESOME! 🎉

user26 replied to the Instagram story

Yes queen!! Academic weapon 🤓🤓

maxverstappen replied to your Instagram story

See? I knew you could do it. You are very smart when you want to be. Want to celebrate? I know just the spot.

|| NEW NOTIF: YUN Gossip [03/09] — Senior Max Verstappen seen leaving Keeley Bar with mystery woman. Unknown whether it is his girlfriend or not...

Credits: Dividers — @bernardsbendystraws; Graphics — Both Pinterest and self-made

[anyamaris]

Reciprocity

Summary- Your unrequited crush on Hoseok seems to have played itself out as you overhear a conversation between him and Yoongi. But Yoongi has a secret of his own to tell you.

Word Count- 11372

Pairing- Yoongi x F!Reader (x Hoseok in a way?)

Trope- Friends to lovers au, smut/angst

Warnings- Unrequited love, a bit of a love triangle? Adult language, vulgarity, unprotected sex, lots of smutty things, minors DNI 18+++

Tags- @ksmutsociety @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @yoonguurt @shinestarhwaa @stardragongalaxy @kpop-stories-21 @starlitmark @millennial-fangirl @ericssmile @wooahaeproductions @changbinslovelylegs @yeosxxx @starillusion13 @duchesskaren @minki-moo @woosanbby @frenchkisstheabyss

@cafekitsune Thank you for banners and dividers! 🤍💜🤍

A/N- Well this started out as a Hoseok fic....but Yoongi kind of took over? This is my first attempt at a BTS fic so please be kind. Thank you to @kwanisms for the gorgeous header and to @frenchkisstheabyss for beta reading all of this process and encouraging me...this wouldn't have been written without you!!

“What do you mean?” You hear the familiar sound of Hoseok’s voice from the other room as you walk in.  

Smiling, you open your mouth to announce yourself, but the next words have you clamping it shut. 

“She’s just my friend, I don’t see her that way.” 

Curious, you set the bag of food down on the coffee table in the living room, wondering who he’s talking about.  

“Liar, I see how you two are together.  You’ve been friends for ages, and I can tell-”

“I’m not lying.  Seriously, man-maybe you’re projecting.  She’s just my friend.  As if I could ever see her as a woman.” 

Hoseok’s laugh at that last line has your heart dropping two stories below the apartment, the tingle of hurt burning the back of your throat.  

“Hobi-” You can hear the tightness of Yoongi’s voice as you try to calm the tsunami in your stomach.  

“Why are you so intent on matchmaking us? It’s not like you, dude. Stop meddling, it’s weird.”

“As long as you say so, man. I just figured I’d check before-” 

Their voices halt the moment you begin to make noises, unwilling to hear your two friends talk about you like that. 

You already felt invasive enough having listened in on that little bit.

Fighting down the tears pricking the back of your eyes, you manage to call out to them.  

“I’m back with food!”  

You’re certain your voice is normal as you make your way into the kitchen, settling the bag down on the counter to pull out containers for everyone.  

“Come eat while it’s warm…” you manage, ignoring the two men as they wander out from Hoseok’s bedroom.  

“That was quick…” Yoongi mutters, and you don’t catch the glare he throws at Hoseok.

Shrugging, the latter man comes over to give you a big smile.  

“Want to eat in here or the living room?” Hoseok asks, nudging your shoulder playfully as you finish unpacking the food.  

Trying to school your features, you just shrug, glancing over at Yoongi.  

He’s just looking between you, eyes narrowed before he sighs and finally shrugs back at you.  

“Whatever works, I’m just hungry.” Yoongi grabs a carton of noodles to sniff it, glancing around at the little buffet you’d brought.

“Thanks for the food.” he says, shooting Hoseok another look as he hovers beside you, bumping into you as he picks through the array.  

After you all eat your fill and clean up the kitchen, you find yourself on the couch beside Hoseok as he rambles on about his day.

Eyeing him, you can’t help but think about what he’d said earlier.

“As if I could ever see her as a woman.” 

As long as you’ve been friends with the man, he’s always been playful and flirtatious with you.  

While that was all fine with you, there were times that you could swear there was something more.  

That he may have something beyond just your close friendship.

That he may feel the same way that you do for him.

The crush you’d had on him existed long before you’d called him your best friend.  

Long nights talking about everything and anything, lingering on the phone even after one or the other passed out.

How he’d show up after he’d heard you had a bad day, bringing you your favorite coffee or treat.  

How willing he’s always been to make you smile.  

Yes, that’s what friends are for.  

They care for you in your bad times, as well as the good.

You’ve told yourself this so often that you’d convinced yourself at this point.

You’d had to, the silly crush you had on him had slowly become true feelings.

Feelings you’d been struggling to suppress because your friendship had always meant more to you.  

Yet, he was always cuddling with you, touching you, brushing back your hair….

The flirtatious nature of how you were together had of course been noticed by all of your friend group as well.  

Yoongi asking Hoseok about it was nothing new either, so that’s not what bothered you.

Even as much as you’d told yourself that you were only friends, hearing him say that he couldn’t even see you as a woman had your heart dying in your chest.

It shouldn’t hurt, you’ve told yourself that very thing night after night after he’d done something to get your pulse racing, your emotions stirring in ways you couldn’t ignore.

Lost in your thoughts, you jump as you feel Hoseok’s breath on your ear.

“Whatcha thinking about?”  He asks and you turn to look at him, swallowing heavily.

There it was-that cheerful smile.  

The one that always had you wondering how you would ever survive being around him.

“Nothing.” You mumble, turning to glance at Yoongi, pulling back to put some distance between you.

“How’s your work going?” you ask, pretending not to notice how Yoongi shoots yet another look at Hoseok.  

Before he can answer, there’s a knock at the door and you eagerly jump up to get it.

You’re not sure if you can handle Hoseok’s touchiness tonight.

Not while you were still reeling from his painful words.

“Hey, are you ignoring me? You’d better be free that night, what would I do without my bestie beside me?”

You just sigh at the text, chewing your lip as you ponder how to deal with him.

Your writing had been taking a toll ever since your mood had plummeted.  

After that evening, you’d recovered some from the hurt.  

You’d known that you two were only friends, but apparently there was a part of you that had clung onto a small bit of hope that he’d secretly felt something more for you.

At least you had your answer to that now, you keep telling yourself.  

Don’t act weird, you think, shaking your head at how ridiculous and emotional you were over something you knew already.

Flirtations or not, he’d never attempted to do anything beyond just that.  

Don’t be a greedy bitch, and don’t whine about stupid shit, you think to yourself.

“Fine, fine, but you’re buying the drinks.” You send him, smirking.

“DEAL!” he sends back with his typical emojis, making you laugh despite the ache.  

Checking the rest of your messages, you manage to see a missed text from Yoongi.

“Huh, weird…”  you mutter, opening it.  

“Hey, so…are you free sometime this week for coffee or lunch?”  

You frown at the text, tilting your head in wonder.

Curious, as Yoongi wasn’t one to reach out suddenly for no reason, you just message back:

“Sure, I can meet whenever you’re free.  Is everything okay?” 

It’s a bit before you get a response, which was typical for the man, as he was always doing something in his studio.

“Yeah…just wanted to talk to you about something personal.” 

His response has your curiosity peaking, and you immediately respond back to him.

“Well, let me know when you have the time and I’ll come meet you wherever!”

Interesting, you think.  

Yoongi and you had been friends for as long as you and Hoseok, but you’d never developed the same kind of closeness.

Mostly because of how different they are, of course.

Yoongi is reserved, a bit more quiet and serious.  

He rarely spends a lot of alone time with you, so something must be up if he’s asking for a one on one.

Hoseok is cheerful and upbeat, talkative and he never shies away from physical touch with you.

Frowning, you realize that’s part of what got you into this mess in the first place.

It’s not his fault that I have inappropriate feelings for him, you chastise yourself.

You take a moment longer to read the next text from Yoongi, responding that he will text you when he has time.

Setting down your phone, you turn to your laptop to see if you can break through the writer’s block today.

You make your way inside the quiet little coffee shop, glancing around to see if Yoongi was inside yet.  

None of the tables were taken, and there was a lone barista behind the bar, cleaning.

I must be early, you think, checking the time.  

Figuring you’ll get drinks while you wait for him, you make your way to the counter.

“Hello, what can I get started for you?” The man asks, and you place your order, deciding to get something for Yoongi as well.  

By the time the young man is setting your two drinks on the counter, you hear the chime over the door ring.

“Hey, sorry, I got held up at the last minute.  Freaking Taehyung and Jungkook and their normal antics.” He grimaces.

You can’t help but grin, knowing all too well how hard it was to escape the little menaces.  

“No problem, here I got you a drink already.” You hold it out to him, his eyes lighting up as he takes it.  

“Thank you…my intention was to buy your drink, but you beat me to it.” He smiles, gesturing to the open tables. 

Choosing a two seater by the window, you slip into the chair as he does the same across from you.

“So, how is work going? Super busy?” You start as he sets his coffee on the table.

He sighs, running a hand over his face as he glances out the window, nodding.

“Always, and those two little-” he begins, then shakes his head.

“Anyhow, it’s nice to get away.  How is your writing going?” He inquires, leaning forward as he turns to face you fully.  

Letting out your own sigh, you look down to toy with the lid of your cup.  

“Eh…I’ve had better weeks of writing. Lately….” you let the words drift off, just giving a small shrug to fill the void.

You notice his frown as he studies you, concern in his eyes as he tilts his head.

“Lately? Did something happen? What’s going on?” He asks, his sudden worry apparent.

Waving him off, you take another sip of your drink.

“Oh…just…things.  Life.” You try to smile, “Just stupid thoughts and trying to work through something.  But it’s nothing important.” 

You try to look reassuring but the concern stays on his face.  

“What about you? You said you had something personal to talk about?” Changing the subject was the best bet, you think.

“Mmmm….” he hums, his voice deep and low as he seems to ponder how to start.

“I…well…” he chews his lip, glancing down, then back up at you.  

“We’ve been friends for a while, right?” He asks, taking you off guard.  

You merely nod, thinking for a moment before you respond, “Eight years, yeah.”

He nods once at your answer, studying you before glancing away again.  

“You haven’t…dated anyone since we’ve all been friends.” He says and you furrow your brow at him.

“I mean…no…I actually haven’t.” You mumble, frowning, worried about where this is going.

“How come?” he asks bluntly.

You can only blink at him with a blank expression.  

“Not to be rude but…I thought you wanted to talk about something personal?” You deflect, wondering why he’s suddenly so curious about your dating life.

His cheeks flush pink and he looks down at his cup as he idly spins it on the table.

Clearing his throat, he manages to say, “Well…yes, this is personal…” 

Glancing around the little shop, you try to think of how to word it. 

It’s not like you can blurt out, “Because I’m in love with Hobi.” Because…just no.  

“It’s…complicated, I suppose.” you finally respond, tapping your foot against the table leg.  

His eyes meet yours, flicking back and forth as they seem to want to see beyond your evasive answer.

“I have you guys, why do I need to date? I guess the right person just hasn’t presented themselves.”

He hums, leaning back to watch you as you speak.  

“You mean you have Hoseok?” He asks simply, causing you to choke on the sip you were taking.  

Reaching for a napkin to clean up the coffee that shot out of your nose, you dab at your face as he watches you with a serious look.  

“I don’t-” you start but he puts up a hand, shaking his head.

“I’m not going to pretend that I don’t notice how you two are together, everyone has asked at some point if you two are a couple.” He says softly, his words obviously not intending to hurt but damn, do they.

You just take a moment to tamp down on the surge of pain at the reality of things versus what everyone “thinks”.  

“Yeah well…he has a way of making people think that, doesn’t he?” The bitterness in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed by Yoongi, who leans forward once more.

“Is this why you asked me to come out, Yoongi? To talk about my personal life?” You say a bit more harshly than you intended, wiping up the little droplets of coffee off the table to distract yourself.

“Hey-not…like that.  I’m not trying to…” he waves his hands around, flustered at your reaction.  

“Look, I heard you two talking the other night, alright? I’m very well aware of how  he sees me, so it matters little what I think about anything, doesn’t it?”  You tell him, finally looking up at him.

His frown tugs down even more now as he reaches out to place his hand over yours.  

Sighing, he shakes his head.  

“I didn’t mean for you to hear that…I’m sorry-” 

Cutting him off, you blurt out, “He doesn’t even see me as a woman, so-” 

“Well he’s fucking stupid then.” Yoongi counters, almost growling the words as he spits them out.

You can’t even think of what to say, shocked at the tone of his voice, the anger in his dark eyes as he squeezes your hand in his.

“I swear, I wanted to slap the smile off his face the other day when he said that to me,” he continues.

“How could anyone not see you as a woman? It’s fucking rude to say something so disrespectful, even if he thought you couldn’t hear him. I don’t care if we’re friends or more.” 

You swallow the pain at the memory, but the fact that Yoongi is getting so defensive for your sake has a warm feeling blossoming in the pit of your stomach.  

You manage to blink away the tears threatening to slip from your eye as you listen to his tirade.  

“He can think whatever he wants…” You mutter, glancing out the window to watch the people walk by, life going on outside of this painful conversation.

“Well, he doesn’t need to be so blunt about shit like that.  He’s the one always clinging to you like you belong to him-” Yoongi almost snarls out, but he stops, sighing as he blinks down at his drink.  

“Well, for the record, I don’t belong to anyone.” You tell him, intrigued and curious about his reaction to everything.  

You swear he almost sounds-

“I sound jealous, don’t I?” He says, a humorless laugh accompanying the words.  

“You sound like you just didn’t like what he said, I wouldn’t think you were jealous, Yoongi.” You tell him, giving him a reassuring smile.

He pauses as he looks down at your hand beneath his own, rubbing his fingers along yours.

“What if I were to say I was jealous?” He asks, continuing to look down before he raises his gaze to meet yours.  

It seems as if time stops in the tiny cafe as his words echo through your head.   

Jealous?

Yoongi?

“Yoongi, I’m not in the mood for jokes today.” You sigh out.

He purses his lips, his jaw working as he holds your gaze.

“I like you.” 

Your heart stutters, his sudden confession taking you completely by surprise.  

There wasn’t a glimmer of humor in his eyes.

Not an ounce of teasing in his tone.

He slips his hand off yours, leaning back as if he expects an outburst, but he never takes his eyes from yours.

Your mind is reeling at the idea that he’s being deadly serious.

Min Yoongi just confessed to you.

Yoongi…the serious, stoic friend you’d had for years.

When you don’t immediately respond, he just wipes a hand over his face.

“I wasn’t trying to be intrusive when I asked him about how he felt about you the other day.” He admits, finally breaking eye contact to look out the window, tching with his tongue as he considers his next words.

“Honestly, for years, everyone has had the idea that the two of you had some secret relationship going on.  That you just were being completely quiet about it, though to us it seemed very obvious.”  

You glance down at the hand he was just holding, feeling as if you’re floating in some weird alternate universe.  

Hearing how you and Hoseok had been viewed, mixed with the fact that Yoongi has had feelings for you….

You try your best not to zone out, hanging on his words as he continues.

“Of course, if that was the case, I’d be happy for the two of you.  You’re my friend, first and foremost.  Despite how I feel about you.”  

The low timbre of his voice lulls the pain of what he’s talking about a bit.

You’d always loved his voice, especially when it dropped low and deep like this.

Eyeing him as he watches the people walk by, you tilt your head to look at him in this new light as he talks.

It wasn’t a secret that you found all of your friends extremely attractive, every single one.  

Sometimes it felt almost unreasonable how handsome they all were, and you’d told them as much on many occasions.  

You certainly weren’t afraid to voice that opinion, it was just a fact at this point.  

It had just been so easy to look beyond the physical with all of them and Hoseok had definitely always been right up close, demanding all of your attention.

Never once past getting close with all the guys did you consider that any could have feelings for you, with the exception of Hobi of course.

“You…like me?” You finally respond, your entire worldview turning on it’s head.  

He winces at your words, turning back to meet your gaze.  

Pursing his lips, he merely nods.  

“I’m sorry if it’s abrupt, and if it upsets you at all.” he says softly, reaching out to grab his cup to drink from.  

“So the conversation you had with Hoseok….” you let the question linger as he sets his cup back down.  

He clucks his tongue, nodding gently as he finishes the thought.

“I figured if there was something between you two, if there was no hope…” he shrugs, chewing his lip as he looks down.

His words feel so very close to how you’ve been feeling lately about Hoseok, hitting you harder than you expect.

“Then you’d know…then you could let go.” You say without thinking, blinking at having uttered the words out loud.

His dark gaze meets yours, understanding passing between the two of you as he nods.

“I was shocked, honestly.  When he said nothing had ever happened between you.  But when he said-” he stops, his jaw clenching.  

You only manage an anemic smile as he continues, shrugging off the almost familiar pain.

“I’m not good at this kind of thing.” he tells you, “Confessing…admitting to you how I feel.”

You can’t help but feel a smile creep across your face as his cheeks tinge with a blush, unable to feel anything but excitement at his bravery.

“Yoongi-”  You start, but he stops you before you can say more. 

“Look…I asked him because I wanted to know how he felt about you.  If there was something there that I shouldn’t touch. On his side.” 

You just nod, understanding his logic with that.

“I want you to know that…telling you this, I don’t expect anything to come of it.  I know we’ve been friends a very long time and…I doubt you’ve ever seen me in that way.” 

Before you can respond, he only gives you a look and you let him continue speaking before saying anything.

He fiddles with his now empty cup, seeming to be turning over how he’s going to proceed.

“I’ve had feelings for you for a while now.  I thought eventually that they’d fade away and I wouldn’t have to deal with them.” he shrugs a shoulder as he says this.

His words still stun you, even though he’s already admitted to liking you.  

“Now I know how he feels about you, but I also want to ask you the same thing.  If it’s not too intrusive, of course.” he says, watching you closely.

You swallow the immediate urge to deflect and deny your true emotions for Hobi.  

But Yoongi was being completely honest with you, not to mention the courage it was taking to confess like this.

It felt dishonorable to lie at this point.

Feeling your cheeks heat, you can only let out a shaky sigh as you build up the courage to admit your true feelings out loud.

“I …. I have had emotions for Hoseok for a long time.” You finally say, watching him as closely as he’s watching you now.

He blanches a bit, but he seems unsurprised as he nods.

“I had the feeling that was the case.” he mumbles, his eyes narrowing as he glances out the window, his tongue in his cheek.

“It’s not like I expected anything, but…” you can only spread your hands out, as if to say, it is what it is.

“So his words the other day must have hurt.” He says, as a statement rather than a question.  

Feeling the slight ache at the memory, you can only nod as you shrug a shoulder.  

“It did, but it’s not as if I expected anything else. He’s never expressed any interest in me.”  

Yoongi’s head snaps around to look at you, his eyes narrowing even more.  

“Don’t lie to yourself, it’s obvious that he’s encouraged your feelings.  Even if it’s been unintentional.  I can’t tell you how much that pisses me off, now that I know how you feel.”  

His words seem to snap something inside of you, and suddenly he’s sitting forward as he reaches out to you, his eyes widening.  

“Hey…shit I’m so fucking sorry-” 

It takes you a moment to realize that tears are streaming down your face, and you’ve been holding your breath.  

He is out of his chair in a heartbeat, suddenly kneeling beside you, using a napkin to gently dab at your cheeks.  

You let out a shaky breath, intending to tell him it’s alright, that you’re fine but the moment you open your mouth, only a sob escapes.

“Damn it, I came here to admit my own feelings and here I am, hurting you.”  His voice is laced with anger, directed at himself.

Shaking your head, you just cover your mouth, trying to not draw the concern of the poor barista as you try to compose yourself.  

“No-” you choke out, looking down at the deep, concerned eyes of Yoongi.  

“Can I…?” He gestures awkwardly with his arms, and you immediately nod, slipping into his hug.  

“Shhh, hey, it’s alright.  I’m so sorry I’m digging up painful things for you, I never intended to upset you.”

You cling to him, gripping the back of his leather jacket as you try your best to collect yourself.

He rubs a hand down your spine as he continues to soothe you with small, simple words, giving you time to calm down.

“You-didn’t.” you finally manage, pulling back as you wipe at your face.  

You take in his pain filled eyes, and it’s an odd feeling to be filled with wonder at his sympathy and care all while wanting to bawl your eyes out over Hoseok at the same time.  

“I-I’m just confused, and frustrated.  At myself, mostly.” You say, trying to laugh.

“At yourself?” He asks, still kneeling before you, holding you at arms length as he reaches out to wipe away an errant tear.  

You just nod, taking in a deep breath.

“Yeah, I know he and I are only friends, so it’s stupid to think of anything else between us.”  

His eyes darken as he grimaces at your words, reaching up to tuck your hair behind your ear.

“Hey, don’t do that.  Your emotions are valid, even if you don’t want to have them.  It’s not something we have much control over, believe me.” He smiles but you can tell he’s empathizing more than he’s letting on.

This man had just confessed to you and here he was, comforting you over another man.  

Your head spins from the day's events, feeling overwhelmed from it all.

“Yoongi…” you start and he hums in askance.

Unable to stop yourself, you reach out to cup his cheek, almost laughing at the shocked and panicked look that washes over his face.

“Things have been…confusing.” you tell him, and he can only nod, but he leans into your hand as you continue.

“I’ve known for a long time that Hoseok doesn’t have feelings for me.  That…it’s in my head.” You admit, albeit sadly.

His lips thin into a line, but you continue before he can say anything.

“I’m still processing this…” you gesture with your free hand.  “It’s the last thing I expected…especially from you.” 

He raises his eyebrows, tilting his head at your admission.  

“Especially from me?” He asks softly.

You just smirk and nod, “Yes, especially from you.  You’ve never given me the impression that you’ve…been interested.” 

He just grins, and you still with shock over just how ridiculously sheepish and handsome he looks kneeling before you.  

Maybe...there was something here.  

Something you never considered because you’ve been blinded by Hoseok standing in the way.

Before you can jump on that train of thought, you manage to focus on what you were trying to say.

“Would you be willing to give me some time?” You ask him quietly.

His eyes widen and you can see him trying to fight back a smile at your words.  

“You…you’re not outright rejecting me?” He asks in surprise.

Smiling at his shock, you merely shake your head.

“No, I’m not.  But...knowing I have feelings for someone else has to have you lose some  interest.” You tell him, not even posing it as a question.  

You know it’s not something most people would tolerate.

“Hey…I’ve had a feeling that you two had a thing at some point.  It didn’t make me any less interested in you. And…I’ll be honest…” His eyes graze over you slowly, causing your face to flush at the deepening of his voice.

But it’s nothing compared to how his next words turn your world upside down.

“I’ve always seen you as a woman.  And not just any woman…an intelligent, strong and beautiful woman.”

His fingers brush your cheek, collecting the tear that leaks down your face as he gives you his signature lopsided smile.

“Take all the time you need, I’m not going anywhere, alright?”

Time seems to fly by, yet it feels as if you’re trudging along in a slow fog all at once.

Since your coffee meeting with Yoongi, your emotions have been all over the place.

The one good thing about being in this state is that your writing block is nonexistent.

After getting home from your talk, you’d naturally gone to your laptop and opened it, your thoughts racing like mad.

On a whim, you just started writing.

Pouring your heart out into the void of white on your screen, tears blurring your eyes as you let your imagination work through some of the confusion and stress that had been building.

Knowing this would never see the light of day, you just ran with it; allowing your frustrations out on your fictional characters as day bled into night, then into day again.

Picking up your mug, you pause as you realize that it’s empty.  

Glancing around, you blink at the morning sun peeking through the blinds, suddenly feeling a yawn claw its way out as you stretch and crack your neck.

6:44am, the clock seems to judge you with its ticking second hand.  

Well…you’ve definitely gotten quite a lot of work done, even if it’s never going to become anything.

Standing to stretch out your back, you glance around at your empty apartment.

The tension headache you’d developed over the last week still lingered, but you felt a bit lighter now that you’ve worked through the swirl of emotions that had been threatening to drown you.

Padding into the kitchen, you turn on your electric kettle and lean against the counter to wait, thinking back on the way you’d left things with Yoongi.  

His words still didn’t seem real, and you can’t help but think about him on his knees before you.

His long dark hair hanging in his eyes, one side tucked behind his ear.

Eyes narrowed, biting his lip as he professed his concern for you.  

It would be a bold faced lie to say you’d never looked at him as a woman does a man.

You and your girlfriends had often had some seriously depraved conversations about the men in your friends group, but you felt that was only natural.

You hung out with a group of handsome men, who wouldn’t give them the once over and imagine?

When you’d all first started hanging out, it was impossible to not find them all attractive.  

Have you ever even considered Yoongi?

For certain you’d appreciated his looks, his deep voice, his laid back demeanor.  

But from the beginning, it was always Hoseok’s sunny smile taking up your entire vision.

Gorgeous, cheerful, energetic-you had both been drawn to each other in a way you couldn’t explain.  

It was easy to get sucked into his energy, to let yourself get swept away.  

Before long, you and Hoseok were best friends, sharing everything with one another.

All of your friends were convinced that one day you’d just announce that you were together.  

Yet here you were, eight years later, hearing that he didn’t even see you as a woman.

That sentence just stuck like popcorn lodged in your gums; the more you teased at it and tried to dig it out, the more painful it became.

Then Yoongi out of the blue drops that bomb on you.

As much as you know you have to work through these emotions for Hoseok, you can’t help but think about how there’s really nothing to get over.

You never had anything together.

Sure, he flirted and teased.

Yeah, he almost always had to touch you, be next to you.

But…there was nothing more.

Not one kiss.

Not even an “almost anything”.  

In the end, it seems like it was just his way of being your best friend and you resent that you feel like he’s hurt you in some way.

He hadn’t done anything wrong and there wasn’t even anything to be angry at.

Sighing, you pour some hot water over a teabag, forcing your thoughts away from Hoseok for the moment.

Your last conversation with Yoongi replays in your mind as you steep your tea, a small warmth blooming in your stomach at the memory.

Not much had been said that hadn’t been talked about over coffee; he’d walked you home as you both awkwardly discussed going forward.

“I hope you don’t feel any pressure to give me an answer-” He’d said as you approached your building.

His hands were in his pockets, dark strands dangling as he kicked at the pavement outside of your building.

It was a rare sight to see Min Yoongi being shy and nervous, and you couldn’t help but smile softly at him.

Stepping forward, you’d drawn his gaze, his eyebrows raising as you cut him off.  

“Yoongi, do you want to come over sometime this week and watch a movie?”

Your words had shut him up for a solid thirty seconds as he blinked at your invitation.

“Eh?” He finally managed, then he was tilting his head in confusion.  “I thought you needed time?”

“Time to think about things, yes.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t hang out.  Unless you’d rather not-” 

“No-I mean, yes, sure, I’d love to come watch a movie.”

Even now, you can’t help but smile at the delight in his dark eyes before he looked away, even as he clucked his tongue and cleared his throat.

Shuffling back to your cozy chair, you check your phone and notice a bunch of missed texts.  

Of course, you think, opening the familiar name on the screen.

“Whatcha doing?”

“Hey, are you sleeping?”

“I bet you’re writing and you have no idea what time it is! GO TO SLEEP!” 

Shaking your head and smiling, you just ignore Hoseok’s texts for now, scrolling through the others just checking in and saying hello.

Reluctantly, you make your way to your room, slightly annoyed that Hoseok knew you well enough to call it.

“Jerk.” You mutter, curling up with your blankets and drifting off.

“I swear, you guys just want something to gossip about.”  Hoseok scolded the nosy men in the room.  

“Don’t lump me in with them.” Namjoon says, turning his back to ignore the chatty trio.  

“Really, though, what would happen if she got a boyfriend?”  Jimin was asking, glancing at Taehyung as if to ask him for backup.  

Hoseok just leans back, sighing as he rests his hands behind him.  

“Then I would congratulate her and wish her well.”  He shoots back without hesitation, shaking his head.

He ignores the looks the two share, nodding at Yoongi as he makes his way into the practice room.

“Really? Just like that?” Taehyung asks, disbelief in his voice.

“Just like that.” Hoseok responds, shrugging his shoulders.  “You’re all overly concerned with my personal life right now.”

Yoongi stays silent, merely observing as they continue their conversation.  

“So, if-” Taehyung begins but Hoseok groans in annoyance, giving him a dark look that stops his question.

“If you’re not going to focus on practice-” He growls, causing the two to scramble and make excuses about things they need to do.

“What is it with these questions lately?” Hoseok mumbles, shaking his head as he stands to resume his choreography.  

Yoongi just grunts in response as he turns to focus on his own work.

Answering the door, you smile as you’re greeted with Yoongi’s familiar smiling face.  

Opening the door wider to allow him in, you can’t help but admire how handsome and soft he looks.

He’s wearing a loose grey sweater and jeans, and his long dark hair is pulled up into a half ponytail.  

Honestly, he looks...really sexy.

“I brought snacks.” He says, holding up the bag as he walks in and takes off his shoes.  

“Great!” You respond, taking the bag to the kitchen to put into little bowls so you can enjoy them during your show.

It’s been almost a month now that he’s been coming over for a movie night, making this number five.  

They weren’t dates, necessarily.  

Nothing had happened.

You’ve talked, laughed, watched movies, dramas, music videos.

Chatted about work, food, life in general.

Everything but touched on the topic that started all of this.

The respect he has had for you has been amazing, not once asking about your feelings towards anything, never inquiring about Hoseok or being intrusive in any way.

And he almost always sat with something between the two of you on the large couch, you think, watching him make his way to his normal spot.

Much had changed in a month, yet it also felt as if you were in this kind of limbo with Yoongi.

Of course, you were well aware that you were the one who asked for time.  

Hoseok had started to notice the little things as well.

Once upon a time, you’d have been on the phone with him at least a few times a week, ranting about your most recent writing project, or listening to him talk about dance practice and everything in between.

Those calls had slowly dwindled as you found yourself focusing more on yourself, on your work, on learning how to exist without him being your primary focus.  

On the other hand, you had been exchanging alot more conversation with Yoongi over this time.  

You’d been friends with him just as long as you have been with Hoseok and the others, yet you were learning things about him you never knew.

As you set the dishes down on the coffee table, you glance at where the pillow sits beside Yoongi, creating a makeshift barrier between the two of you.  

It wasn’t a sudden thought to remove it and toss it, to slide in beside him and see what it felt like for Yoongi to be the one to pull you into his side, to lay his head on yours as you curled into him.

No, it wasn’t sudden at all, it has been building up over these little drama dates you’ve been having with him.  

Settling on the couch beside the pillow, you chew your lip, considering how to even go about wanting to close the distance with him.  

Perhaps it was still too early, you think, returning his smile as he looks over at you, nodding along to his suggestions for your selection of the night. 

You both settle on a drama that has been airing, finding yourself involved and before long, two hours have passed.  

“Did you want to sleep or-?” He asks, turning to you as he holds the remote in his hand.

“If you don’t mind, I’d love to watch another.” You say softly, admiring him as he gives you a cute little smile as he turns to queue up the next episode.  

“Alright, bathroom break, I’ll be right back.”  He says, wandering off down your hallway.

“Need anything while I’m up?” you ask, going to get two more water bottles.  

“I’m good!” He calls as you go to sit back down.

You hesitate a moment before you grasp the irritating pillow and toss it over to the chair beside you.  

“There.” you mumble, proud of yourself before you’re filled with a sudden anxiousness as he comes to join you again.  

“Oh…” he says, eyeing the now empty space between you, glancing at you in askance as he sits down.

“It was in the way.” You say, cheeks heating as he nods slowly, and you catch the cute little eye twitch as he settles into the couch.  

“Ready?” He asks, side eyeing you as you adjust so you’re a bit closer to him.

“Yep.” You nod, trying to act nonchalant.

It’s slow, but as you make your way through the next hour-long episode, you find yourself bumping his knee with yours when you exclaim about what is going on.

Leaning in as you laugh, turning to see if his reaction matches your own.

Little by little the distance closes before your shoulder is brushing his, his deep throaty laughter evoking little tummy trembles.

And before you know it, you’re more focused on his facial expressions, his little grunts of surprise, the way his lips turn down as he finds something displeasing on the screen.  

Swallowing heavily, you reach out to brush an errant strand of hair back, causing him to freeze in place.

“Oh…sorry…you just…I-”  

“It’s fine.” He says, his eyes no longer taking in the show as his gaze sweeps over you.  

Your breath hitches a bit as you watch his adam’s apple bob, swallowing as  he licks his lips and clears his throat.

Brushing the strand back, you catch his dark gaze as it lingers on your lips, causing your stomach to flip.

He winces as he meets your eyes, clucking his tongue in that adorable way he does.

“Are you enjoying the show?” He asks, his voice a bit deeper and softer than normal and you can only nod as your fingers linger on the soft strands of his hair.

Somehow you’ve moved directly beside him, and you find yourself wondering what the exact distance is between his mouth and yours.

He clears his throat once more as he watches your gaze drop to his lips, seemingly unsure of what to say or do next.  

“I am.” You respond softly, your eyes just taking in the entirety of his face this close, unable to resist rubbing the silken strands between your fingertips.  

“Are you?” You ask after a long pause, the voices on the television fading into the background as you hear your heart thump in your chest.

How long had it been since you’d kissed someone? you wonder.

Since someone touched you in ways that were anything but friendly?

Feeling almost starved, you blush as you watch your hand tremble as you tuck his hair, your fingertips skimming the shell of his ear.

Suddenly, his hand is around your wrist, gently halting your motion as he studies your eyes.

“I don’t mean to sound…rude but…” He halts as your tongue darts out to wet your lips, his lashes fluttering as he appears to calm himself.

“Are you aware of what you’re doing right now?” He asks huskily, the timbre of his voice seeming to tickle something so deep within you that the very awareness of it is enough to cause you to squirm.

You hesitate to answer him, but not because you’re unsure of your response.

No, you need him to know that you’re very much aware.

Holding his gaze, your teeth capture your bottom lip as you nod slowly, intentionally.

“Good.” He grates out.

Within the next breath, the distance is bridged and his lips are capturing yours, the fingers around your wrist loosening as they trail down your forearm.

You don’t even have time to feel ashamed of the needy moan that gets lost in the depths of his mouth, because he’s too busy slipping his fingers up into your hair, kneading your scalp as his lips quiver against yours.

The show is forgotten as you both cling to one another, his free arm slipping around you to tug you closer.

Your fingers finally delve into the long, satin strands of hair that have been tempting you for weeks.

It’s a shock and yet not surprising at all when your hand slips over his back, across his shoulders and you feel the taut muscles bunching as he slowly pulls you ever closer to him.

You’re not even sure which noises are his and which are yours as you allow, no, you encourage him to tug you halfway onto his lap.  

Before you know it, you’re looking down at him, your fingers skimming his cheek as your lips part and meet, again and again with hot breathy sighs and groans.

“Yoongi-” You breathe out, and you can’t help but flush with shame at the desperation in your wavering voice.

He freezes suddenly at the sound of his name, unsure as he pulls back to check on you.  

The whine that escapes you as he withdraws causes his eyes to widen with concern, misunderstanding the meaning behind the embarrassing noise.  

“Too much-?” 

Unable to stop yourself, you straddle him properly, one thigh on either side of his, crushing your mouth to his as you cut off his sentence.

“No-” you manage as his hands immediately grasp your hips, a soft groan escaping him as you cup his face.  

It’s as if every touch of his is burning a trail along your body as his palms skim up your sides, sliding around your back, then down to cup your ass.  

Your head is swimming with the sensation overload as you roll your hips against him, finally realizing how very hard he is.  

Heat pools in your abdomen as his fingers knead your plush ass, his tongue dancing delicately over yours between his breathy groans.  

Your hand slips between you, a sudden need causing you to tug at the button of his jeans.  

Belatedly, you register how his body freezes, his hands gripping you to still you as he slows the kiss.

Drawing back, you swallow harshly, doing your best to not cry out at the loss of his lips on yours.  

His dark, anxious eyes study you as he brings a hand up to trace your cheek, and it takes you a moment to realize that those gorgeous lips are moving, that he’s speaking to you.

“Hey…woah…let’s slow down for a moment…” 

His voice sounds almost pained, gravelly and hoarse as he clears his throat.

“Yoongi?” You ask softly, concerned that you may have pushed him a bit too far, that maybe he doesn't want this.

He clears his throat again, eyes darting down to your lips before he looks away.

Yet he keeps you seated right there in his lap as he finally manages to get his words out.

“Let’s talk before…” His thumb caresses your cheek gently and you can feel his body shudder under yours as you blink at him.  

Nodding, you take a deep breath, pushing down the desperation and need within you in order to clear your mind.

“As much as I want you…want this…we should have a conversation.” He continues, finally meeting your eyes once more, “I don’t want to rush into anything either of us will regret.”

You process his words slowly, chest heaving as you do your best to calm yourself.  

The emotions that had gradually been building for him over this past month seem to evolve at his care for you, making your next words hold even more weight.

You slip your fingers into his hair, brushing it back as you admire the man you’d come to see as much more than a friend.  

“Yoongi…I like you, too.” You manage, your voice hoarse with the need you’ve pushed back for the moment.  

His eyebrows twitch upwards, lips parting with the tiniest little gasp as you smile softly at him.

“I want you…I want this. I want…more.” 

His eyelashes flutter at your words, eyes closing slowly as if he’s savoring the meaning behind them, the gravity of them.

“Are you sure? I don’t want something casual. We both deserve more than that.” He says before opening those deep chocolate eyes to observe you, gauging your reaction closely.

Without hesitation, you nod, running your thumb over his beautiful lashes.  

“I wouldn’t do that to you or myself, Yoongi.  I don’t want a pillow between us anymore.” You whisper, leaning down to brush your lips over his.  “I wouldn’t have removed it if I wasn’t ready for this. For us.” 

Your eyes are locked on his as you do so, curling your lips gently as his arm slips around your waist to hold you close.

“What about…Hoseok?” He whispers hesitantly, apprehension written all over his face.  

You knew this would come up, and it’s all that’s been on your mind over the weeks since he’d confessed.

Emotions are so complicated and slippery, especially when nothing is clear, when all you have is doubts and nothing is ever communicated.  

He watches patiently as you try to think of how to communicate the choice you’ve made properly to him, so he won’t think this is a rash decision on your part.

“I’ve had years to process those emotions, and nothing has ever come of it.  Perhaps it’s because I never communicated them properly, or maybe I just didn’t have the courage to face the rejection.” 

You smile fondly at him as he listens intently, your heart stuttering at the complete open trust and acceptance in his eyes.  

“Honestly, I’ve been blinded by my own wants and needs for so long with him, yet I never took the time to find out how he felt.  He’s my friend, and that will never change.  As much as it hurt to hear how he truly felt about me, I needed that. I can’t be even remotely mad or upset with him, as it’s me who was hurting myself all this time.”

“What I feel, or felt for Hoseok has nothing to do with you and I.  It’s a fleeting possibility that I spent far too long being preoccupied with.  I didn’t need the time I asked for just to solidify how I felt about you, Yoongi.” 

As you speak, you can feel the confidence and determination in your words as he holds you close, giving you the courage to continue.

“I wanted to make sure that when and if I was able to take this step with you, I would be giving you all of me.  Not just fragments warring with an unrequited crush for someone else.  I’m laying that part of me to rest, even if you decide that you want to stop right here.  That you want to just stay friends-”

The limbo you’ve both been suspended in seems to pop like a bubble as he suddenly flips you on your back, drawing out a small surprised cry from you.

“That’s all I need to hear.” He growls, his lips capturing yours in a searing kiss.

The force behind it has your teeth digging into his lips, his tongue plunging into your mouth desperately as you meet his need with your own.  

Clinging to the soft fabric of his sweater, your legs slip around his thighs as he presses you into the couch with his hips.

His erection is even more prominent in this position as he presses wet kisses along your jaw, his hands slipping down to slip under your shirt to caress the bare skin of your waist.

Soft cries leave your parted lips as he rolls his hips, your already damp panties starting to soak through as he grinds against you.  

“I don’t want to be just friends.” The heat of his breath brushing over your neck causes you to shiver, your fingers grasping frantically at his sweater until your fingertips meet the hem, slipping your hands up his naked back.

“Give me all of you.” The rough timbre of his voice alone has you arching your back as he helps you yank his sweater over his head, tossing carelessly to the side.

The sight of him bare chested, hovering over you with that long hair hanging down almost undoes you right there and then.  

Placing your hands on his stomach, you run your palms slowly upwards, enjoying each and every twitch and spasm you extract.  

The way he bites his lip, the soft, throaty gasps.

How his eyes seem to darken to onyx in lust.

Pushing against him, you sit up as you slip your hands up his chest to his shoulders, then down his arms.  

Without uttering a word, you take his hand and tug him up, leading him to the darkened doorway of your room.  

As you reach the edge of your bed, he spins you around, tugging your shirt over your head before crushing his mouth against yours once more.

Your head spins from his familiar fragrance of warm spice and tobacco from his cologne, reveling in the fact that he’s covering you in his scent.

Rough calluses brush against your bare flesh, his hands eager yet gentle as he explores you as if they’re dying of thirst and your body is the only thing that can sustain him.  

He reacts to each soft whimper, every drawn out moan with his own, heightening the ache between your legs as he backs you towards the bed.

Your nails graze lightly down his back as his teeth nip the sensitive skin of your neck, his tongue laving at the tiny marks he’s leaving behind.  

“Harder.” he commands, his hands finally slipping down to grab handfuls of your ass to press you into him.  

Without even having to question what he means, you dig your nails into the skin of his back, raking them harshly down his skin to leave angry red lines behind.  

The room upends as he topples you onto the firm mattress, clinging to one another as you tug and pull, your hands finally making their way back to the button of his pants.

This time he doesn’t stop you, propping himself up to watch as you yank and unzip, pushing down the material keeping him from you.

His ragged panting fills the air around you as he helps you kick them off along with his boxers, your stomach tightening as you encircle his cock as it springs out.  

“Oh fuck-” He grunts, hips jerking forward as you stroke along the length.

Before you can respond, he’s returning the favor, yanking off your pants, leaving you only in your bra and panties beneath him.  

“You’re so fucking beautiful-” his voice is coarse as he rakes his gaze over you, dipping down to press his face between your breasts to inhale you.

“Yoongi…” You whimper, shivering as his hair tickles your sensitive skin as your hands slip around his back to stroke over the harsh marks you’ve left.  

He settles his weight on you, his hips dragging the underside of his dick along your panties as he palms your breasts through the fabric of your bra.  

“So soft..” He mumbles, tugging down the lace harshly and at this point, you don’t give a damn if he’s torn it.  

His words contrast with the feel of him against you, stiff, thick and throbbing as you soak through your panties with every motion he makes. 

“Yoongi, oh my god-you’re driving me-insane-” You manage to stutter as he wraps his lips around your taut nipple, suckling gently as he gazes up at your flushed face.

Your fingers find their way back into his hair, grasping desperately as he grins, his eyes shining with delight, your other hand clinging to his shoulder for dear life.

He releases your nipple with a wet pop, slowly kissing his way along the valley of your tits, making his way over to give the other fair treatment.

His warm breath tickles your skin, and you suck in a sharp breath as he laughs softly at how you’re reacting to him.

“Lose your mind then, love.  I’ve been losing mine over you for years.” 

He punctuates the words with a harsh suck as he claims your other nipple, causing your back to arch for him, digging your nails into his shoulder as you tug at his hair.  

Your eyes roll as he circles his tongue around the tightened bud, his eyes never leaving your face as the ache between your thighs throbs with need at his every touch.  

Years…

You’ve seen many sides of Min Yoongi but nothing compares to the sheer control he has right now, all while holding back the desperate need you can see in his stare.

Your cries grow louder as he reaches between you, his strong hand gripping the side of your panties and ripping the flimsy material, flinging them to the side. 

The moment your panties are gone, his fingers are slipping between your lower lips, parting them as he lets out a soft, deep whimper of his own.   

You barely register his hand slipping behind your back, unclasping the hooks of your bra to tug off the now damaged garment.

Your mind is consumed by how deftly his fingers tease at your core, his thumb honing in on your sensitive clit.

“You’re so gorgeous like this…” he rasps out, eyes hooded as he watches you arch your back as he gently circles his thumb, licking his lips as his breathing becomes even more ragged.

Choking back a moan, you writhe under his palm as he teases a fingertip into you before pulling back to rake his eyes over your naked form.  

The tightness in your stomach builds as you shudder beneath him, yanking harshly on the hair clenched in your fist.  

The moment he flashes that sexy lopsided smile, you can’t hold back anymore.  

The last thing you want to do is lie here losing your mind when he looks far too in control.  

“Min Yoongi, if you aren’t buried deep inside of me in the next ten seconds-”

Your words are punctuated by another tug of his hair, your legs slipping around his thighs, hips tilting to offer yourself up to him in desperation.

Before you can even finish your sentence, his mouth is on yours once more, his fingers parting from you to guide the head of his cock against your aching entrance.

He lets out a shuddering breath against your lips, a soft groan building in his throat as you feel him start to sink into your warmth.  

He brings his hand up to cup your face as he slowly fills you, the sound of your name on his lips swallowed up as you deepen the kiss.  

You gasp as you feel yourself clench around him, your body already shaking beneath him as he draws back just to thrust forward once more.  

“Fuck-!” he growls as his lips leave yours, looking down between you to watch his cock delve into you, “Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are?” 

All you can muster is a moan, then a sharp gasp as he pulls almost all the way out, then thrusts forward suddenly as he bottoms out within you.  

“Yoongi!” you cry out, wet noises filling the room as he starts snapping his hips into you, setting a hard but steady pace.

All you can do is watch his face as he fucks you, that gorgeous dark hair dangling above you as he bites his lip in concentration.  

“Look at me.” you demand between moans, drawing his attention back to you.  

His eyes flick up to your face, then rake down your body and back up as the force of his thrusts cause your body to shake beneath him.  

“I can’t take my fucking eyes off of you, fuck you feel so good-” He moans as he dips down to reclaim your lips.  

“Don’t fucking stop-” you whimper between kisses, and he only responds by grasping your wrist and pinning it over your head.  

His mouth leaves yours, hot breath skimming over your chin, then your neck as he kisses and licks his way over to your ear.  

“Do you like it when I fuck your pretty little pussy?” He growls, the deep tone of his voice sending a shock through your body alone.  

His pace quickens as you tighten around him, your moans and whimpers only encouraging him as you begin to feel the familiar need building in your abdomen.  

“Fuck, yes, Yoongi! Harder!” you scream, the heat of his breath, the sounds of his guttural moans vibrating in your eardrum pushing you closer and closer to tipping over that precipice.

Your back arches, angling your hips so that he’s hitting your sensitive clit with each thrust as his cries grow louder, melding with your own. 

The sound of your name in your ear almost undoes you, and you let out a choked scream as he draws back to look down at you.  

“So close-” you gasp as he releases your wrist, threading his fingers with yours above your head.  

“Yeah, baby? Gonna come for me?” he rasps out as he watches your face contort with every motion.

You nod your head frantically, feeling as if you’re balanced on a tightwire and all you want to do is fall off.  

You can feel his entire body quaking as he continues to speak, the sexiest filth dripping from his lips in that rich deep voice.  

“Let me feel you come around my cock, baby, that’s it.  You’re all mine, all fucking mine, and I’m all yours-fuck! God, your cunt is perfect, so tight and wet, I just want to fill you full-”

Each word is like a nudge, and finally the sensation that’s been bubbling up within you this entire time seems to erupt from every single cell in your body as you finally tip over the edge.

“Yoongi! Yoongi!” is all your brain can manage as your orgasm crashes into you, clenching tightly around him as your body lifts from the bed.

Your strangled cries are met with his own, ripped from his throat as his eyes widen, his lips parting in an “o” as he throws his head back and thrusts forward once more.

A warm burst fills you as his whole body tenses above you, trying your hardest to watch him fall apart along with you.  

The ringing in your ears starts to fade, and the only sounds in the room are your combined labored breathing as he slowly lowers himself down to nuzzle his face into your neck.  

You gasp as you involuntarily clench around him, a hoarse moan escaping him as he slowly gives you a few small thrusts as he finally empties himself deep inside of you.

Swallowing harshly, you do your best to catch your breath as you comb your fingers through his damp hair.

You’re both covered in sweat, you think, a small smile curling your lips as you close your eyes and bask in the after effects of your joining.

“Fuck.” Yoongi grumbles into your neck, his lips dancing over your sticky skin.  

“Mhm.” you agree, humming softly.  

Floating through the haze of bliss, you finally open your eyes as you feel him draw back, withdrawing from you to leave a wet mess seeping out.  

Your eyes meet his and he just gives you a sleepy smile as you continue to run your fingers through the strands of his hair.  

He rolls you both to the side, arms wrapped around you as he kisses you softly, no words spoken for what seems like eternity.

No words are really needed, just soft touches, kisses, little smiles and laughs as your eyes meet.

The sun starts to creep through the blinds before he finally whispers that he will return in a moment, leaving you only long enough to bring back a warm cloth to clean you up a bit.  

Blushing slightly, you help do the same for him, tossing the cloth into the laundry before you settle back into his arms.  

Pressing a kiss to your temple, he lets out a long breath.

“You’re not leaving yet, right? You’ll stay for a bit?” You ask him, finally breaking the silence as the birds sing outside the window.

He laughs softly, propping himself up to look down at you with an eyebrow raised.  

“Of course I’m not just leaving…unless you’re kicking me out?” He responds, biting his lip as he runs his finger along your shoulder.  

You snort, shaking your head, “Sorry, no.  You told me you’re all mine so I think I may just keep you.”  

You do your best to keep a straight face, failing horribly as he feigns shock, his brows drawing together adorably as he protests.

“You think?!” he teases, sliding his arm around you to pull you closer, rolling you both so you’re on top of him.  

“Hmm…” you straddle his hips, brushing back his dark strands as you admire the handsome man beneath you, “I can be convinced…”

He gives you that familiar gummy smile you love so much before he’s growling out your name, tugging your mouth to his as he laughs.  

“Oh, really? I’m actually quite good at pleading my case…” he hums as his hands slip down to take two handfuls of your ass.  

“By all means-”

It’s midday by the time you both manage to uncling to one another.

“I shouldn’t have let you shower with me…” you hum as you make coffee, shaking your head as you feel his arms wrap around you from behind.  

“Well, we were just conserving water…” he answers, and you can’t help but giggle as you contemplate what to make for an early dinner.

By the time you get around you checking your phone, you sigh at the many missed messages and calls.

“I think Hoseok is going to send the police to my house.” you tell Yoongi as you both sit down to finally eat something.  

He just rolls his eyes, shaking his head as he gestures to your phone.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t shown up yet, honestly.” He grumbles, taking a bite as you read through your messages.

“Well that would be a fun conversation…” you hum, biting your lip as you contemplate how that is going to go over with everyone.

“Speaking of…” Yoongi says, placing his utensils down as he leans back to look at you.

You glance at him, knowing what he’s thinking. 

“Should probably leave that to me.” You tell him before he can continue.

Feeling suddenly shy, you clear your throat as you look over at him.

He’s only wearing a pair of your sweats, his naked shoulders and chest distracting you as you try to think of your next words.  

“We are…together ... .like…” you gesture with your hands, embarrassed at asking. 

He only blinks at you, shock on his face before he is leaning forward and taking your hand.  

“Are you asking if I’m your boyfriend now?” He asks, an amused lopsided smile growing on his face at how flustered you are.

You just slap his hand, but then slip your fingers through his, nodding shyly.  

“Yes, baby.  I told you last night…I want you.  All of you.”  he whispers.

Your eyes meet his and you can only blush, your cheeks heating at his words.  

“You have me, then.  All of me.” you tell him.  

“Where the fuck is she?” Hoseok mutters, doing his best to contain the rising panic as he makes his way to your apartment building.  

Checking his phone for the hundredth time since last night, he sighs.  

Over the last month, it feels as if you’ve been withdrawing more and more, but you still respond to his messages.

If he’s being honest, it didn’t feel very good.

All he can think of is the comments everyone has been making.  

What if she does end up dating?

What if she has someone she likes?

Hoseok can only frown as he finally gets in the elevator to take him up to see you.

Of course, that would eventually happen.

Someone she’s interested in, other than me, he thinks.

The idea is so completely foreign, he has a hard time wrapping his mind around it.  

More important than me?

Shaking off the thought and this feeling of discontent it brings, he pushes himself off the side of the elevator wall as the doors open.

Making his way down your hallway, he glances up as your door opens, a sense of relief filling him as he hears your familiar laugh.

That relief is short-lived as he hears a man’s voice responding to your voice.

Not just any man’s voice-

He stops in shock as he watches you emerge from your apartment, hand in hand with another man.

He can’t make out the words, but his heart seems to drop into his stomach as he recognizes the owner of the hand in yours.

Min Yoongi.

Fucking Min Yoongi…holding your hand.

The hand holding his phone clenches tightly as he watches his friend lean in and brush your hair back, your eyes seeming to dance with happiness as you gaze at him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” he hears faintly as he watches you nod to him.

“Tomorrow.” he hears your voice respond.

The world seems to stop as he watches two of his closest friends lean towards each other and kiss.

“No way…” he whispers, but it’s not amusement or happiness at watching two obvious lovers leaving one another.

No…against everything that is logical, he feels a burning rage and betrayal building deep in his stomach.

Before he can even process it, he’s turning on his heel, making his way to the emergency stairs and rushing down and out of the building before either of you notice him.

His phone starts to buzz as he makes his way home, and he sends it to voicemail immediately.

He can’t even form the words to say to you right now.

Not while he’s feeling like this.  

Whatever this was.

[theheightofdishonor]

GL Recs Masterlist

I've watched a couple hundred gls now and so I thought i'd put it to good use and help other people find some. There's not enough gl rec lists anyway

First things first, I'll like to direct you to https://mydramalist.com/list/1xrpwdW3 which is a gl rec list on mdl with more than 200+ titles + links. It's an EXCELLENT resource, kept up to date and even tracks upcoming titles.

Now for stuff that I've watched and thought are decent. I'll link all of these to their mdl page and the links to watch the show can usually be found in the comments. If you're new to gl, be warned that a lot of these are pretty short, ranging from 1-30 minutes.

1 in 10,000 (2018) Korea. This is a soulmates piece told in 3 parts following two girls through different parts of their lives. I think this got more confusing as it went on but I really liked Act I and I think it's worth watching. It's beautiful and angsty and a bit artsy. I'm pretty sure it has a happy ending but don't quote me on that.

Afraid of (2019) Korea. A short film about a girl struggling with her sexuality. Yeah, I know, there's a THOUSAND of these but I do like this one. It's beautifully shot and there's a lot of heart.

Am I the only one with butterflies? (2018) Korea. A girl blogs about falling in love with the manager at her new job. I like part ii better than part one but it's just cute and the pining is very similar to het kdramas.

Anonymous high school girl (2022) Korea. A low stakes love triangle. Good chemistry, low budget, awful kisses.

The Beauty of the Law (2023) China- If you're not familar with chinese gls, I think it's certainly something to get used to. This is like in the top 1% of the category. It's an ad for Adolph Shampoo and i'm going to let you know that they're going to appear often on this list because they make excellent gls. It's a historical about a female unlicensed lawyer trying to help a woman escape her abusive marriage. Makes great points about gender imbalances and women's historical lack of legal rights in China. (f you like this one, Sheng Wei, one of the actresses stars in 50%+ of all chinese gls, check her out)

Beguine (2018) Thailand - It's if the school dancing scene in My School President was a 30 minute sequence with two girls. No plot but adorable.

Cat in the eastern palace (2020) China - Watch this just to have the surreal experience of seeing like 3 whole cdrama arcs which normally take 20ish eps executed in a 7 minute timeframe. Also because it stars laoji who's in the other 50% of chinese gls. As for plot, it's about a cat spirit and a girl pretending to be the crown prince.

Clasper (2021) Thailand - And they were roommates! I liked the production, the dialogue and the acting was pretty decent.

Couple of Mirrors*** (2021) China- Wait to watch this because it will ruin you for everything else. This is like typical thai bl length, like 12 45~min episodes. It's a historical mystery about a wealthy woman who finds out about her husband's affair with her bff and the photographer she enlists to help her. If you watch one thing out of China, watch this.

Dear My Girlfriend (2021) Korea - A group project ft love triangle. It´s pretty classic. A girl starts dating someone who likes her only to realize she might instead be in love with her best friend. The editing is cute. It's a touch angsty as love triangles are and pretty well done.

Dear Uranus (2021) Taiwan. Another school love triangle. Does feature an adorkable female character, you know a bit awkward, a bit cutesy, if you hate this archetype, ignore this one. Personally I think the chemistry for the lead couple was lacking (genuinely shocking considering taiwan tends to be great at this) but both the love interests are hot and I am not immune to hot women

The Demonic lord and the virtuous cultivator (2021) China - Avoid this if you don't like toxic yuri. I personally love it so this is 10/10 for me. Orphan gets taken in by a benevolent benefactor who turns out to be her parents' killer and eventually....you know what go watch it.

Encore Martha (2021) Taiwan. One of the few gls about older women. A tomboy reunites with her first love. This one's only available on gagaoolala so you'll either need a subscription or sometimes they promote it for free. If you can find it though, it's worth a watch.

Family Plan (2016) Korea. This is a bit of an odd one to describe. The first half is two high school girls who are dating. And then the second half is their relationship as adults where they marry guys and use it to have a kid that they raise as theirs. I liked how this examined how two gay people would go about their relationship in in a world where they can't freely be with each other.

Favorite Girl (2022) Thailand. Very standard plot about a girl suffering from a breakup and her roommate but something about it stuck out to me.

Five steps to accept farewell (2016) Korea. Warning for unhappy ending. This is all pure angst, a 9 minute snapshot into a breakup. I like how it's done and the messiness of the situation.

Fragrance of the first flower (2021) Taiwan. A beautifully shot, beautifully acted, slightly too short show about two ex-lovers reuniting ft. all the angst about living in a homophobic society. It stayed in my head for weeks after I first watched it.

Girls Blood** (2014) Japan. A movie about 4 "girls" in an underground fight club. warnings for rape, trauma, domestic assault. One of the main characters is a trans man. There are sex scenes. It's very queer and I highly recommend.

Girls Love** (2016) China. Pre-censorship China had some very wonderful queer work and one of them was this movie It's about a girl who falls in love with her hot butch roommate ft all the tropes AND we get to see them function in a relationship instead of the movie ending when they get together. Warning for both characters being forcibly outed at the end. (nothing bad really happens to them after though). Also do NOT watch the sequel. If you go to mdl, everyone else will also tell you not to watch the sequel and I foolishly did not listen to those people because I liked these girls so much and I suffered for my mistake.

The Girls on Rela (2016) China. It's an anthology of short, I wouldn't say stories, more like moments, sponsored by a lesbian dating app. Each one's really short but the acting and scripts are all pretty good.

The Girls on Rela Season 2** (2016) China. This is sponsored by the same company but it's a totally different format. It's one long show about two girls cohabiting. Pretty well executed if a bit slow.

Graduation, Present + Propose (2021) Korea. A short about a high school girl giving a graduation present to her crush. What it does it does well. It's pretty.

The Handmaiden (2016) Korea. Historical set movie about a conman and thief girl who plot to steal a heiress’s fortune. I make it sound boring but that's only because it's a pretty popular movie and everything to be said about it has already been said.

Happy to have you here (2021) Thailand. Two friends have a sleepover and figure out their feelings. This is definitely in the top 20% for this trope, even though they rushed just a tad into the kiss.

Hello, spring is coming (2019) Korea. I'll let you read the synopsis for this one. What you need to know is that it's pretty, well acted, has good chemistry and is as brightly colored as a lollipop. It's a bit disorienting, parts of it doesn't make a lot of sense but it's a fun time.

I broke up because of you (2023) Korea- A bartender and their client catches feelings for each other. The dynamic is nice, the kiss less so but it can be forgiven.

I’m her weapon (2022) China- It's kinky, it's angsty, it's 3 minutes long and still fits in a separation arc. I would pay money for an extended version.

Kanojo no Kuchidzuke Kansensuru Libido (2022) Japan - two girls fall in love in a hospital. I like the tone of this one.

The L Bang** (2015) China- Another Rela production. It's a 4 episode comedy about a bunch of lesbians + (1) gay man who live in the same apartment complex. It's got queer friendship, queer acceptance and queer love. It's just wonderful. It feels like 2000s American sitcoms but queer and Chinese.

Led Astray by Love (2022) China- Fairly long for a cgl. A girl gets transported to a manhwa and falls in love with the ruler. Sunshine/grumpy. This baby is 52 minutes long and covers like the same amount of plot as word of honor does in 30 something episodes.

Legend of Yunze (2021) China - A human and a half demon vanquish demons from a village. It has a second season and a special that I haven't watched yet.

The Lost World** [Xia Ye Zhi Dao Feng De Tian] (2023) China - After watching as much cgl as I have, I was shocked to see Laoji in a modern piece. This is a college setting running-into-a-childhood-friend trope. The pacing and chemistry are both pretty good. It's one of my favorites from her.

Love in the Tinder Age** (2019) Korea- A black comedy about a bullied lesbian's failed suicide attempt ft psychics, ghosts and a teacher/student relationship. It's not really a gl because the main character doesn't get a romance BUT it's really fun so you should watch it anyway.

Love of Secret** (2022) Thailand- More of a slice of life than a love story but it's cute and fluffy and the main character very much is in a relationship. The actual plot is about a med student who's hiding both her relationship with her best friend and her dreams to be an idol. I found it positively charming.

Lover’s Concerto** (2002) Korea- Calling this a gl is a stretch. It's more just queer? The girls were most likely in love but they don't end up together and the movie itself doesn't really have a happy ending. I did find it beautiful though.

Mayfly angel (2024) Korea- Classic discovers-feelings-for-bestie-after-a-breakup plot. Warning that this is angsty and they don't end up together. But I found it realistic and I liked that they felt like two real people. Take that how you will.

Miss shen and the woman warlord (2023) China- a woman cross-dresses as another young woman's fiance and they fall in love. Despite how i describe it, there's a decent amount of plot and some political commentary.

More or less than 75 celsius (2019) Korea- A tea master and her supervisor fall in love. It's sparse and short but cute.

My Dear (2021) Thailand. A drunk girl confesses to her friend and luckily for her, it's mutual. It's 5 minutes long but it uses its time well and the acting is nice. It feels a bit like gmmtv's confessions. If you like it, the production company ShakeShoulder makes TONS of gl shorts and i'd recommend checking them out.

No distance left to run  (2022) Hong Kong. a 15 minute short film about how fame causes issues in a pop star's relationship. Unhappy ending. The song's a bop though and it's well done.

Nü er hong** (2023) China. I forgot to mention but this one, the legend of yunze and the lost world are all produced by the same studio. They do a lot of fairly long chinese gls. The story is about these two beings from an alien world who crash land on earth and are hunted. One is a healer and the other is a killer, they're in love, the killer goes insane so her lover kills her. Unbeknownst to them, they're immortal so the killer wakes up with no memories 200 years later. The pacing is better than some of their earlier stuff but it's not quite perfect here yet. It is one of my favorites from the studio though and it ends happily.

Our relationship ended before it began (2022) Korea. A barista falls in love with her manager at a coffee shop ft gender roles, miscommunication and the classic "cool one picks on the nice one to show affection" trope.

Pyramid Game** (2024) Korea. This is more gl adjacent like Devil Judge and Beyond Evil. There is a secondary gl couple that's more explicitly canon though. If you've watched other kdramas about school bullying, this is pretty similar except it's an all-girls school and everyone is so gay. It's got so much heart and is one of my favorite shows of the year.

Really, Lily? (2019) Korea. A 6 minute short about two girls who visit a cafe and beats up two men who were making homophobic remarks about them. It's surprisingly comedic and the coloring is bright to match. Features a pretty decent kiss. Watching it, I wished it was longer but what's there is still good.

Secret of us (2024) Thailand. The only longform thai gl that i've liked enough to finish. It's about an idol who comes back to win over her doctor ex. It falters from ep 6 onwards but until then, the show is really good at showing the emotional thought processes of the characters and the way they construct the story is compelling, even though I don't even like second chance romances.

Shackles (2023) China. Another one from the Chinese shampoo ad. The pairing itself is not my favorite but it's so cool that this is basically a warning against nuclear pollution AND features chinese mythology that's used in the brand's marketing. Like a 3 in 1. It's so interesting.

She Makes My heart flutter (2022) Korea. Baby lesbian finds out her aunt runs a lesbian bar and starts working there. It's so goddamn cute but it has this weird relationship with homophobia where everyone in the show is apparently 100% ok with queerness but a lot of the aunt's actions is so driven by her being a queer person in an unaccepting society. A bit like how Moonlight Chicken deals with Jin and Li Ming's different attitudes towards being queer except they don't dwell on why the aunt is the way she is or what she's been through. Anyways, it's worth a watch.

Sleep with me (2022) Philippines. A 6 episode series about two girls who are disabled in different ways fall in love. One of them can only sleep during the day and the other is in a wheelchair and the show does a pretty decent job at showing how these disabilities affect their lives and their relationship

Soshite, Yuriko wa Hitori ni Natta** (2020) Japan. If you follow me, you may have seen me talk about this show earlier this year because I found it and promptly fell in love. It's not quite gl but Mizuki's actions are all driven by the fact that she's in love with Yuriko. It's queerer than you would expect, less queer than you might want. It's a supernatural-adjacent school horror about a girl who's new school has a weird thing where every year, a girl named Yuriko becomes "Yuriko sama" and rules the school while everyone else in that year with the same name mysteriously dies. Yuriko's best friend Mizuki plots to make the sweet innocent Yuriko the newest Yuriko-sama to save her life. It's weird, there's plot holes everywhere by the end, it definitely vilifies it's gays and the ending is weak but it's such a compelling watch.

Stand-in love (2023) Philippines. 2 best friends have a ‘stand in’ relationship where the straight one helps the lesbian one learn how to court someone but they end up falling in love with each other. Like 20 min long and I love it.

Ti Shen** [The substitute] (2017) Taiwan. The mdl synopsis can describe the plot better than I can but it's a romance between an idol and a normal girl that's split into two parts. The first half is about them meeting in high school, the second is when they reunite later on a movie set where one of them is the other's stunt double. I think the first part could've been a bit longer but it's a great movie.

Transit Girls (2015) Japan. Stepsisters. Happy ending though and it's fairly long. I liked this mostly because I like Japan's moody stuff. I also liked how they handled the male love interest.

Truth or Dare (2022) Korea. A 10 minute short about two girls who like each other playing truth or dare. It does a great job at building tension and revealing things without saying it.

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna** (2022) Japan. A woman who loves to cook comes to an arrangement with her neighbor who loves to eat. Japan does food-centered dramas better than everyone else and this is no exception. The romance itself is slow and you watch how their dynamic changes through this and the season two that came out this year.

The Twelve flower gods: Camelia (2020) China. A xianxia romance about a girl falling in love with a flower but it's a minute twenty so I promise you're not watching for the plot. You're watching to witness the ridiculous amount of innuendos that they manage to fit in under two minutes.

Twin souls of destiny (2023) China. Xianxia romance between two elves, one who is made from the memories of the other's past life. I want someone else to watch this so we can discuss whether or not this is selfcest. The color combination is interesting because I very rarely see lovers in red and purple. The time travel is confusing but it's a good time and laoji is in it.

Until Rainbow Dawn** (2018) Japan. Movie about two deaf girls falling in love ft homophobic parents. The director is a deaf lesbian herself so the movie does a wonderful job in how it depicts deafness and their relationship. It's really well done

When the light pours (2022) Korea. A girl's boyfriend wants her to sing him a song so she enrolls in guitar lessons and ends up falling in love with her teacher. The girls don't get together and I really wish they had! So if you watch this, don't watch the ending and pretend that they did end up together.

[araybiaaa]

❝ redemption, r. cameron. ❞

ooo. 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈… rafe cameron x original black!fem character.

ooo. 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔… jealous!rafe, original black!fem character, pining, college!au denial of feelings, feelings realization, unresolved emotional tension, unresolved feelings, explicit language, explicit sexual content, possible love triangle (undecided!)

ooo. 𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔… where a group project leads to an inadvertent reconciliation between two exes.

ooo. 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔… not sure how many chapters this will be.

sometimes, she thinks that the universe is conspiring against her; that’s the only plausible conclusion that makes sense — that or she just has shitty luck. either way, this unfortunate situation has cleo currently perched at a table in the far corner of the library, impatiently waiting for her ex-boyfriend to arrive so that they could start on their project for their research class.

she despised group projects in all aspects; especially having to rely on someone else’s time and effort of contribution and having to be graded on the overall project based off of their collective work. she didn’t like the lack of proper planning, half-assed attempts or procrastinations, and she especially didn’t like when someone relied on her to do all of the work. she preferred to be graded based on her own merit not someone else’s — especially if they didn’t obtain the same attentiveness about their grades like she did.

venus had always excelled in school. she was smart and liked getting good grades and had a plan that’s been cemented at the early age of ten years old of becoming a lawyer.

there were several times where she became overwhelmed with stress about whether she would actually pass the bar exam and law school and it had her contemplating if she should switch her major and concede to becoming a doctor like her parents originally wanted. but she managed to prevail through her trepidations, persevering through her courses, and found a better way to balance studying time and her personal life.

it still wasn’t easy, there are still times where she wants to cry in frustration at all the work that infiltrates her day-to-day life but she’s decided to take it one day at a time to help alleviate some of the pending stress.

what wasn’t helping her not be stressed was rafe’s lack of punctuality and consideration of her time. she told him to meet her at the campus library after his last class of the day so they could begin preparations of their assignment. he told her that his last class ended at 4:15 and when she asked what time would be most convenient for him, he told her that 4:30 worked best. venus’ last class of the day ended at 2:30; so after her final class she went to the library to start on a few assignments for her other classes while she waited for him.

she plucked her airpods into her ears and sat her laptop in front of her, pressing shuffle on her playlist before she began working. she was so indulged into her work that she hadn’t noticed two hours swiftly passed by. she grabbed her phone to see if he texted her to inform her that he was on the way or that he would be arriving a little later than expected, but she didn’t receive any notification whatsoever.

she sent another text asking where he was and he responded ten minutes later, assuring her that he hadn’t forgotten and that he was on the way.

so, yeah, the universe had to be playing some cruel joke on her to have her partnered with someone so inconsiderate and irritating like rafe cameron. it’s around five thirty when he finally arrives; he’s sauntering towards her, smiling roguishly in a way that makes her narrow her eyes in annoyance at him. she heeds at his appearance noticing that he walked in without a book bag or anything remotely studying/project related for him to offer some kind of contribution to today’s meet up.

he gaitered past her — the saccharine smell of citrusy perfume lingers past him and fills her senses, and venus rolls her eyes, already knowing that the reason for him being late was because he was with a girl.

rafe slid his body into the chair that’s athwart from her. he looks up at venus, still smiling roguishly, undaunted by the narrowing scowl she’s giving him.

“you’re late,” she laments, folding her arms across her chest as she stares across at him.

“i’m here though, aren’t i?” he rebuttals, much to venus’ abhorrence and annoyance. “i had something important to handle, but i apologize for being late.” the delectation lilting in his voice along with the impish smirk that’s tugging on his lips immediately lets her know that the apology is disingenuous and that there’s a high possibility that purposefully he showed up late today.

venus pursed her lips and exhaled deeply, resisting the urge of cursing him out.

she knows that’s exactly what he wanted; he found this amusing — annoying her and getting her riled up like this because he knew that of all the things she could control in her life, her feelings towards him was not one of them.

but she wouldn’t reward him with the satisfaction of seeing her upset, she just wanted to get an outlining idea of what they were going to do for the project and then get as far away from him as possible.

venus shakes her head, saying an inward litany to help her persevere through the next half hour. she grabs her laptop and logs into blackboard; clicking onto the project assignment link. “do you have an idea of what you want to do? she gave us the option of doing something visual or—”

rafe interjects with a scoff. “you do know that this project isn’t due until the end of the month, right?”

venus raised a brow at him, “you do know that i have other classes, right?” while the due date wasn’t approaching any time soon, she preferred to at least have some general idea of what they were going to be doing and what their respective contributions would be for the overall project. she liked being ahead in her assignments, procrastination of kind would have her behind and she could not accept that.

not to mention, her other classes had equally as much work and she wanted to assure that she had enough time to complete everything so she could finish the semester off with a high gpa and good grades.

rafe chuckled, raising his hands in the air in defense. “i know, i’m just saying...you don’t have to hurry up and try to finish this thing in one week. we have more than enough time to get it done.” he paused, the smirk spreads evenly across his mouth as he raised his eyebrows in an amused expression. “are you trying to finish this quickly so you don’t have to see me? is that what you’re doing, venus?”

there’s a coquettishness tease in his voice as it decimates a few octaves into a murmur.

she parts her mouth open, preparing to reprimand him for his lack of focus but then his eyes are wandering down to her lips, openly staring at them and she’s pursing her lips together to prevent herself from instinctively licking them.

at this, rafe’s eyes are seemingly wandering up to her eyes again, and venus hates it but she could feel her face flushing underneath his smothering stare. there’s a stir that tugs in her stomach as they sit there staring at each other and it all begins to feel too familiar — the way he’s looking at her, how he’s talking to her in that flirtatious voice, how her body’s instinctively reacting to him.

she knows what he’s doing; teasing her, challenging her to reciprocate or succumb to his advances. she would be lying if she said there wasn’t a small part of her that contemplated on saying fuck it and grabbing ahold of his hand and leading him to the nearest available room and fucking him senseless. but those thoughts were dismissed as quickly as they arrived as she suddenly remembered the reason why they broken up in the first place.

venus harrumphed softly, immediately retracting away from her brief sexually repressed stupor and averted her focus back onto their school work. “look, if you want to half-ass your way through college do that on your own time. you might be able to afford to do that but i can’t. this is a group project so i’m asking you to take something seriously for once in your life, because my grade will be affected by this. and yes, being as far away from you as possible is one of the benefits of getting this project out of the way. so if you don’t mind…”

rafe’s expression falters slightly, he averts his eyes away, slouching back into his chair as he kisses his tongue against his teeth. “i don’t half ass anything, but just tell me what to do and i’ll do it.” throughout the rest of the meetup rafe remained quiet, only offering monotonous responses to her questions while he sat there petulantly.

“we can meet here again whenever you’re free later in the week,” venus suggests, sliding her laptop back into its case and zipping it close.

she looked up at rafe, expecting him to argue about being too busy or offer some other excuse as to why he couldn’t find time in his schedule to begin working on the project. but he only nods, sliding his hands into the front of his pockets as he looked over at her.

“i’ll let you know,”

she nods, sliding her arms through the strap of her bag as she stands to her feet. “alright.”

rafe nods again before eventually sauntering off until he’s out of view.

…

he calls her a little later in the night.

she’s in her room, laid sprawled out on her back with her laptop propped on her stomach and a big bowl of buttered popcorn sat on the bed beside her. she’s rewatching “what a girl wants” laughing at amanda bynes’ character’s antics when she feels her phone vibrating.

she pauses the movie as she patted around on the bed in search of her phone. when her fingers brush against it, she extends her arm out further and grabs ahold of it and picks it up.

she was surprised to see rafe’s name appear across the screen of her phone. outside of class, there hasn’t been any communication between them since the breakup. she ceased all contact with him; blocking him on of her all social media accounts, deleting his number and avoiding him on campus.

it’s not until recently when professor thames assigned them as partners that she asked for his number again so that they could communicate properly while they were working together on it. (truthfully she still had his number memorized but there was no way in hell that she would give him the satisfaction of knowing that.)

and since then; it’s only been brief text messages exchanged between them solely about the project. they made progress regarding their responsibilities with their part of the project, what each of them would be doing, how they would be doing it and so forth, so she’s a little curious to know why he’s suddenly calling her so late in the night.

she contemplates on even answering because if it’s what she thinks it is, then she had no interest in indulging in rafe’s behavior. her curiosity gets the best of her and before she realizes it, she’s sliding her thumb over the green button as is bringing the phone up to her ear.

“hello?” she doesn’t know why it suddenly feels so strange talking to him on the phone. but there’s a lingering awkwardness there, it’s palpable and has her anxiously waiting to end the phone call just so that pestering feeling could go away.

“i just wanted to let you know that i’m free to meet up again on friday.” the raspy tenor of his voice echoes through the phone as he speaks.

venus sits upright, setting the laptop aside as she leans against the stack of pillows propped up against her back. “oh.” she certainly didn’t expect him to reconvene with her so quickly about that, she assumed he would slack off about it like he did everything else.

“okay, yeah, i’m free on friday too.” she almost tells him that it wasn’t necessary to call, a text message would’ve easily sufficed but she relents in doing so.

“cool.” there’s a pause between them and for a moment, she begins to wonder if he hung up. “i know you’re ready to finish this so you can get away from me so…” he murmurs despondently, the remainder of his sentence trails off airily.

ah, so that’s what this about.

she would’ve made an offhanded remark about him reacting overly emotional about the situation. rafe’s one of the most insouciant people that she knows and has an idiosyncratic tendency to disregard things without a second’s thought. he was cavalier in a way that venus almost envied because he didn’t care about a lot of things whereas she cared too much sometimes.

and she would’ve assumed that it would be the same in this situation as well, but there’s something unrecognizable in his voice that almost sounds like sincerity that has her wondering if he really did hold offense to her earlier comment at the library.

there’s no playful or flirtatious tease when he says it like there would usually be and there’s a lack of hostility in it as well, which meant that he was genuinely hurt by her retort.

venus bites on her lower lip, pushing a few flyaway pieces of hair out of her face. “i didn’t mean—” she pauses, shaking her head as she squeezed her eyes close.

what was she doing?

why is she even entertaining this conversation with him right now? she should’ve just said “okay” and ended the phone call right there, but here she was still listening to the softness of his breath as he waited for her to speak. at her prolonged silence, he decided to take the initiative and began speaking again.

“i know that i fucked up but i really do miss you, venus.”

maybe she missed him too.

or maybe she was sexually deprived and finally decided to succumb to her libido after enduring months of pent up frustration. she doesn’t dwell on whatever the actual reason is for too long, ultimately deciding that she’ll have enough time to lament over her regret about this choice another time.

he’s knocking at her door minutes later and it’s almost pathetic how avid she is to answer it, already feeling her body thrumming in excitement at the thought of him being inside of her again.

“hey—mmfh!” he’s taken aback by her onslaught when she opens the door.

she reaches out, grabbing him by the arm and pulls him into the room with the door slamming shut behind him. she approaches him, standing on the tip of her toes so that she’s able to wrap her arms around his heightened neck. rafe’s large, sinewy hands slide over the sinuous jut of her waist and tugs her body closer until their bodies are pressed so tightly against each other’s that there isn’t any barrier of space between them.

he cranes his neck down so that their faces are now leveled; he lacks preamble as he leans down and kisses her, ravenously sliding his mouth over hers. “missed you,” he murmurs softly against her lips, slacking his jaw wider so that he’s able to deepen the kiss.

it’s pathetic how she practically mewls and melts into the kiss (she decides to blame her sudden hypersensitivity solely on the fact that she’s been involuntarily chaste and that she would’ve responded just as viscerally to anyone’s touch like this, not because she has some residual feelings for him that she was unaware of.) wrapping her fingers around his neck and pulling him closer so that he’s crowding in her space.

a breathy moan falls off of venus’ parted lips when she feels the outline of his cock protruding through the fabric of his sweatpants; it’s stout and swelled in its girth as it curves against her inner thigh. and when he lurches his pelvis against hers, chafing in just the barest of friction, she feels her cunt pulsate at the stimulation that has her toes curling and her body pleading for more.

rafe’s just as carnal and wanton as her, because he’s suddenly hefting her into the air and securing her legs around his waist so that he’s able to carry her over to the bed.

venus’ mouth never retracts from his as he maneuvered around the room, kissing him with a feverish vigor as she shimmied herself down low enough to where their pelvises are aligned and she’s able to feel his cock brushing directly against her clothed cunt.

“fuck,” rafe murmurs, hastening his gait as he finally reached her bed and lowered her backwards onto the plush mattress.

her hands reach up and grab ahold of his face, her legs spread open invitingly as she tugged his body down along with hers so that he's sprawled out atop of her. he nudges himself between the crux of her thighs, his lips wetly retract away from hers in favor of kissing at the exposed skin on her neck and clavicle.

his lips brush over her skin, imprinting dark love bites wherever his mouth could reach.

“rafe,” she laments through bared teeth, the frenzied haste of her hands slipping underneath the waistband of his sweatpants and tugging them down emphasized her impatience. he’s immediately reciprocating her frustration, retracting away from the embrace just enough so that he’s able to discard the sweatpants and his briefs over his hips until they’re pooled around his ankles.

he lifts his arms up and tugged off his sweatshirt, absentmindedly tossing it aside somewhere forgotten on her dormitory floor.

he’s hovered halfway on top of her; shirtless, with his cock half-erected and spurting rivulets of precum from the flushed tip. his hands reach outwardly, slipping beneath the hem of the oversized shirt that she was wearing and thumbed the edges of her underwear, tugging them down until she’s left naked underneath.

rafe discards her underwear, then makes a haste effort of prying her shirt and the remainder of his clothes off until they’re both completely naked. he leans forward and kisses at her lips, the weight of his cock is heavy between their bodies as it curls against her stomach. he kisses her slow and soft, heeding each of her lips with a genial delicacy, pecking and nipping at the plush skin.

there’s something intimate about the way he’s kissing her, how his thumb’s caressing her cheek and how he’s gently brushing his nose against hers that almost has her keening in adoration.

she’s breathless by the time he finally stops kissing her, her chest’s heaving and her senses are slightly disoriented. she looks up at him through her glossy, heavy lidded eyes, watching as he slicked his tongue over the swollen flesh of his lower lip. he nudged her legs open with his knee, staring down at the evidence of her arousal as her cunt glistens with wetness.

his throat bares, clicking, as a groan rips through his throat. and she knows from the ravenous look in his eyes and the way they lulled over with lust that he’s intending to eat her out. “later,” she accents impatiently — needing him inside of her now.

her impatience is completely extinct at this point and she’s almost certain her body would combust if she didn’t have him inside of her immediately.

she wriggles from underneath him, extending her arm out and reaching into her desk drawer. she rummages through, nearly crying out in frustration when she doesn’t find a condom in sight. relief settles in her bones when she continued to search, absentmindedly tossing out all of the clothes that were neatly folded inside until she finds one at the bottom of the drawer.

she tears it open (silently thanking her roommate for always keeping extra in stock) then snuggly allotted it over his arousal slicked cock. just as she’s reaching in between their sweat slick bodies, preparing to grab ahold of his cock and align him up at her opening, he’s wrapping a hand around her waist and hefting her up so that he’s able to slide himself underneath her switching their respective positions.

“i always liked it better when you rode me,” he murmurs, flexing his fingers around her waist and sliding her body forward so that she’s straddling him.

he stares up at her with a knowing look that has something stirring in her stomach. she bites on her lower lip, steadying a on his chest while the other grabbed ahold of his cock. she alleviates the weight of her body off of his lap just enough so that she’s able to align their pelvises.

venus arches her back, leveling her hips just enough so that the tip of him is caught at her entrance. she whimpers, fluttering her eyes softly in content as she slowly lowered onto him. there’s a painful twinge that spreads through her at the intrusion, his girth stretches her inch by inch, continuing its primal penetration.

the pain is immediately substituted with pleasure as she accommodates to the swell of him inside of her; he’s thick and rigid, curled so deeply at her hilt that she nearly feels him in her stomach.

she breathes softly through her parted lips, fluttering her eyes open as she peers down at him. rafe’s face is almost dazed; his eyes were affixed on their conjoined pelvises, heeding in awe at the penetration and how she’s clenching so tightly and fittingly around him.

pleasure tugs in her stomach again and she has to bite down roughly on her lower lip to prevent a loud, guttural moan from falling off of her lips when rafe grabs her hips and nudged the rest of his cock into her so that he’s now completely bottoming her out.

“ah, fuck!”

her back bows as her body sprawled forward. her forehead’s leaned against his as they both took a few moments to accommodate to the stimulation. it’s venus who initiates the first move; she perched herself in an upright position again, stretching her legs further apart as she leveled her hands against his chest.

her hips move salaciously; her body arches and mewls as he moved in and out of her, retracing and reclaiming her wanton warmth with a tight squeeze that has both of them murmuring incoherently.

“venus,” he chokes on a groan barely keeping himself contained. she moves slowly and deliberately, wanting to feel every inch of him everywhere until her whole body's trembling with pleasure. she breathes ruggedly, her eyes holding the smothering weight of his stare as she looks down at him watching him unravel helplessly underneath her.

“fuck, i almost forgot how good you feel,” his fingers are shaky as they held tightly on her gyrating body while she pistoned full body rolls.

he’s curled and swollen; pulsating so painstakingly hard that she feels the tremors of his body reverberating against hers as he holds onto her for leverage.

her jaw goes slack as her mouth parted open slightly ajar while she crooned loudly in pleasure. he holds her by the waist as he sits in an upright position. they’re nose to nose, their breaths tickling each other’s face, their eyes never wavering from each other’s gazes.

he rolls his hips up into her, hitting her in her g-spot that makes her croon and nearly melt right there in his arms. her hair is sodden with sweat. her skin is sticky and slick; the sweat cascades down her face starting from her hairline and trickling down her torso where droplets of the salty body fluid travels between the valley of her breasts.

she undulated her hips forward, slowly, teasingly. rafe groaned, guttural and throaty as his shaking hands instantly firmed a hard grip on her waist. he recited his own thrust, lurching his hips forward with a shallow rut and lingered against her.

she hikes her legs up further, pulling them up until they rested around his waist. this elicited a sharper and deeper change in his stroke, she dug her fingers into his shoulders to steady herself. she could feel her thighs clenching, her insides clamping around him.

and he does this thing, where he grabs her by the ass and roughly shoved her down on his cock until he’s bottomed her out where she nearly feels him in her belly, and fucks her hard and deep.

tears gather in the back of her pupils, her stomach coils in pleasure, and her bottom lip trembles. she pulled his mouth to hers and intertwined her tongue into the wetness of his hungry mouth. she bites down on his lips when she feels her toes curl. he thrusts into her with abandon, grabbing her ass, pulling her already working hips closer to him, pushing himself deeper.

he slides his hands on her thigh, her cunt squirms just at the feeling of his hand touching her skin; almost as if it’s anticipating what’s inevitable to come. he slides his hand upward, brushing his thumb over the sinuous crease that dipped at her waist. air catches in her throat and when his hand finds comfort between her inner thighs.

brushing through a few curly hairs he finds down there, he gently puckered a finger inside of her; warmth and wetness from her arousal drenches his finger. she breathes softly, nudges her hips forward, nonverbally telling him to insert another. he complies; adding another and further stretching her seeping folds open until her cunt swallows his fingers.

he presses his finger against her clitoris, teasing ministrations against her sensitive flesh. she huffs ragged moans in his ears, her forehead drops to his shoulders as she feels her lower abdomen clench.

she thrusts her hips feverishly against the callus padding of his nimble fingers, stretching her thighs wider, giving him a better view of her swollen cunt. he watches avidly as he subtly pushes his fingers in and out of her in a fluid, motion.

a shudder rolls down her spine, goosebumps prickle her skin in excitement. “rafe!” she keened, his name is the only tangible thing that rolls off of her tongue.

he could feel her swelling around his fingers, could feel her thighs clamping down on him when he flicked his wrist he curled his fingers deeper. “that’s it baby,” He purrs huskily in her ears, pressing a gentle kiss against her temple as he increased his efforts.

her teeth are biting at his shoulder, hips rolling in a lazy tandem against his thick and slightly calloused fingers.

“good, yeah, like that. just like that,” he murmurs, the encouraging words of appraisals that he whispers in her ears causes a high whine to fall from her lips. he withdraws his sex-seeped fingers, continuing his onslaught as he thrusted his hips upwards.

her legs stretch further until pain gathers in her thighs, but she never ceases in the catch and release of his cock as it fills her, too indulged in the way he feels and how she close she is now. their heavy breaths mingle and she chokes back a sob once she feels the precipice of her orgasm creeping up on her.

rafe grunts as he thrusted shallowly inside of her. she cums mercilessly moments later; feeling the relief spill throughout her whole body in a lurch. rafe continued to fuck her through it, milking her completely dry until she goes boneless. his hips jerk and it’s not long before he’s succumbing to his own orgasm.

his face is flushed and sweaty and his breathing is labored. venus’ chest heaves as she falls forward onto him, body trembling from her post-coital orgasm.

rafe’s hands are attentively rubbing at her backside, his mouth’s pressing kisses in her hair and she doesn’t find herself immediately recoiling away from his touch.

what the fuck did she just get herself into?

[kranja]

one book deep into the husky and his white cat shizun (as usual i'm late to all the good parties) and i have a few observations

1 this is much funnier than i expected. i'm pretty sure we're in the lighthearted getting-you-invested phase, because to make it really hurt you have to make me care about these people first, but i still wasn't expecting it. and yes i have been forewarned of The Horrors, and the few glimpses we've gotten of the original timeline are Super Yikes. taxian-jun's wedding? yikes on bikes.

2 aggressively worried about shi mei. he seems like a sweetie and i do not want him to either turn out to not be a sweetie or die again. both would make me sad. but mo ran for sure will not have the emotional intelligence to realize he's not really in love with shi mei so much as the idea of shi mei until we get through some serious character growth.

2a (was he ever really in love with shi mei? maybe once, long ago, before everything. that would be interesting to explore)

2b (absolutely the funniest resolution to a danmei love triangle is "sorry, i'm straight," so i'm kinda rooting for that)

3 i was ABSOLUTELY not prepared for Utter Disaster Chu Wanning. dear god. i've managed to avoid spoilers enough that i was buying his cool aloof immortal shtick but he's a cripplingly socially anxious mad inventor shut in who's lost control of his life so badly that he sleeps amidst pieces of his engineering projects because they've taken over the bed? oh no i love him.

3a (really waiting on the reveal of what exactly went down in the incident that set mo ran on his downward spiral--chu wanning failing to save shi mei. my bet is on something happening that chu wanning knew he could not save shi mei from, but he was so utterly unequipped to offer explanations or comfort that he came across as uncaring. ouch.)

4 really thought awkward coffin boners were a mxtx thing but here we fucking are. hilarious.

5 actually the whole bit where adult desires and experiences plus teenage body have turned mo ran into an inappropriate boner factory is solid gold. ten out of ten never stop.

[forgingtheblade]

BEADS GALORE. FUCK I LOVE BEADS.

a cosplayer I really look up to in my work is @/scarredmewtwo. he does these beautifully intricate elven robes and star wars robes and other things that are heavily adorned and look so rich and extravagant. as i’ve been working towards elevating my craft as a cosplayer, his work is something I find myself looking to a lot. and one thing he does incredibly well is needlework & beadwork.

so i knew coming into this project that i wanted to find ways to incorporate beaded embroidery.

what i eventually landed on was wither rose appliqués that will be placed along the hem of the cloak once they’re finished. to me, the wither rose is something that is a subtler symbol for the syndicate. it’s a thing that all four of them used in their own decoration as well as being present in the meeting room itself. was this necessarily intentional on the part of the creators? i don’t know! but i’m incorporating it into my belief system 👍🏻

these roses were, after the banner i wove over a year ago now, the first part of the project i started. and as of last night, they’re halfway done according to my original goal of 12 roses.

i might… be making that goal a little smaller. at the pace i’ve been working at as of yet, each rose takes somewhere in the realm of 10-15 hours, or potentially longer. i haven’t been keeping very close track.

watching the collection grow as i work has been incredibly satisfying, though, which in and of itself is a massive driving force to keep me going to make as many as i can manage!

The other major beaded piece I’ve done so far was a replacement for the embroidery on the Antarctic Empire banner. I thought, especially in light of how ornate the rest of the cloak is becoming, that the banner may read kind of plain in the grand scheme of things, so I wanted to jazz it up.

i learned a lot from working on the roses going into this process. i was using MUCH larger beads for this than the roses as a whole, including large decorative bits to create texture and fill space. i ended up making the whole motif over the course of a week, much of it backstage while I was doing wardrobe crew for The Nutcracker.

i’m especially obsessed with just how gorgeous the iridescence turned out, and the balance between white and gold.

in addition to the circle motif i made 8 triangles to be the sunburst, and stitched them down to the banner!

my favorite thing about this part is the sort of playful duality of sunburst and snowflake happening. i really love that symbolism for the antarctic empire !! and i think as a whole this part turned out gorgeous :)

much more beadwork to come as i finish roses and start attaching them to the cloak & adding stems and leaves too!

[neptuii]

KMKY doodles

Here are doodles of my KMKY human Bill. Not sure if its the final-final design but somewhat along these lines.

His hair is straight but pointy, kinda fried looking but still somehow silky smooth to touch, got the shine (For a greasy scientist Ford put a lot of effort into this fleshy project when it comes to the aesthetics , what a simp-/j)

The triangle on his jumper isn't a set part of the design but I imagined that Ford could've made Bill's clothing more "personalized" by maybe stitching small triangles onto them.

Scene from Chapter 24, test-running the portal and Bill's reaction: so far, my favorite scene

Fanfic: Knowing Me, Knowing you by @f-imaginings

Drawing this was fun, managed to start working on the playlist(s) for this fic. It will take a while as I got at least 50 songs on my list haha ^^' {sorry for the bad quality}

[jello-library]

The Roommate Program (PT 1/?)

ITS FINALLY DONE….well kinda there more to it but originally i wanted this out on my birthday but life happen…and here we are 3 days later with this 🎉 tada 🎉.

This is a beginning of my Bill x Reader (Self Insert) story. There still more to be told so just you wait!

Warnings: None! Bill Cipher

The Roommate Program is a new project set up by Theraprism in the hope of inspiring their patients into redemption by giving them an outside support system. First, they start as Pen Pals who, after being approved by their therapist, start the move-in process while still attending therapy 3 days out of the week.

This means they are housed at the Therapism for 3 days and stay with their roommate for 4. They have no access to their powers through monitor bracelets.

The penpal picking procedure is very strict on both sides. The Theraprism hand picks each pen pal with one other. An interview process is required for participants who are looking to be a part of the program.

Bill didn’t get access to the program until he got off maximum security 5 years later after the Book of Bill incident. Once he heard about the program he was quick to sign up in the hope he would get some idiot to get him out of this smiling cage.

He lied like a serial cheater on his application form. Which led to him getting unapproved the first time around. He had to reapply with a counselor assistant a couple of months later. It took a while before he managed to get a match.

So the day his counselor handed him an envelope saying that he’s now a proud triangle to have his first pen pal.

A surge of genuine excitement ran through his body for all the wrong reasons. If it wasn’t for this to be his attempt at an escape plan he would’ve forgotten about it.

The letter for boring to him it felt like he was reading someone's job resume! It was an introduction of who you were, what dimension you were from, and you were excited to be his pen pal and maybe his soon-to-be housemate. Heck, you even sent him a gift! A Silly Straw in the shape of a star!

To him, You sounded gullible enough to “befriend”. So, without much time to waste he grabbed and piece of paper and pen then started to write back.

[lurkingshan]

hi!! i was wondering if you could recommend some good high school japanese (or from other countries) bls? all this time i avoided them cause i felt old and uncomfortable but yesterday i finally watched one and the pureness and warmth of these sweet kids experiencing their first love really warmed my heart and brought back memories of my own first crushes. thank u in advance and I hope u have a wonderful day!

Hi anon! I firmly believe we are never too old to be swept away by the nostalgia of a good high school show. There are specific emotional buttons that get engaged by a coming of age or first love story, and it's comforting to see both reflections of experiences that were similar to our own and fantasy versions of a high school experience we never got to have. I support you venturing into high school bl!

This is not a comprehensive overview of all bls with high school age characters, but a solid list of great shows that center that high school coming of age/first love experience in their stories, in a mix of moods and tones. I'll start with some favorites from Japan, and then include a few from other countries, as well. I hope you like some of these!

Japan

I Cannot Reach You

This is a classic friends to lovers first love story done exactly right. I don't know anyone who watched it only once, it's so satisfying.

If It's With You

A boy who is jaded before his time meets an earnest hottie when he moves to a new town and school. Feelings ensue.

My Love Mix Up

This one puts the com in romcom, with a confused bisexual chaos muffin setting off a comedy of errors as he tries to figure out who actually likes who among his classmates.

Takara-kun to Amagi-kun

A simple story of two boys trying to navigate their first relationship and figuring out how to go about dating and interacting at school.

Eternal Yesterday

On the tragic end, this is a story of first love that ends abruptly due to accidental death. The story is an exploration of the grief and stunted growth that results when someone so young suffers a loss so monumental. It's an absolutely beautiful show, but not a light watch.

Philippines

Marahuyo Project

This is a gorgeous show about a brash and loud and proud gay kid who gets sent to live on a small island after an incident at school, and decides to create an LGBTQ+ club at his new school. This one has a social education agenda, but it's also very funny and sweet.

South Korea

Light on Me

The story of a confident gay boy and his love triangle where you will actually like everyone involved! A rare gem in these drama streets.

Where Your Eyes Linger

And on the angstier side, this one is the story of two friends, one of whom has been raised to be a caretaker/bodyguard for the other, struggling with a realization of feelings between them. The power dynamic and social class divide between them feature heavily.

Taiwan

History 3: Make Our Days Count

Possibly a controversial pick, as this one has a tragic ending that is hard for a lot of people to stomach. But it's a great high school show that includes two first love stories, one between a beautiful himbo and the studious boy who catches his eye, and the other between his very sweet best friend and an older man he meets through his job.

About Youth

This first love story between two very nice boys struggling with school and family issues manages to be incredibly sweet while also dealing with some heavy topics, and features a couple amazing original songs that still get stuck in my head all the time.

The On1y One

This is such a pitch perfect high school story that I'm putting it on this list before it technically finishes airing. Two high school boys meet when their parents move in together and decide to get married, and begin to heal each other. This one nails the angst and yearning.

Thailand

My School President

Possibly one of the cutest high school romcoms of all time, and it features a student band so there are a ton of original songs. This is a story about a boy who runs for class president just so he can save his crush's music club. It's two nice boys who like each other and the shenanigans they get up to with their friends.

I Told Sunset About You

And for the completely opposite experience: the ultimate angsty coming of age queer awakening story. One of the most beautiful dramas I have ever seen, and so evocative and emotionally resonant that it is actually hard for some people to watch because it's too real.

[rei-ismyname]

Magneto threatens Reagan and Thatcher

Mags' latest scheme is incredibly ambitious - in fact he'll be later charged by the ICC with crimes against humanity for his actions this day. A full splash of the master of magnetism in all his glory, a demand, and the consequences for refusing. The caption says he's projecting this to every capital city on Earth, but that's such a massive and abstract thing.

Seeing him dressing down real life world leaders to their faces makes the scope of his actions real. 'Reagan, go back to acting. Thatcher, you're the worst. Khrushchev, don't fuck with me comrade. Generic leaders of other countries, Marvel didn't want to offend you but I don't care. Stop nuking shit and make me king of the world FAFO.' Balls of steel and, as always, dramatic AF.

He's gotten over his grudge against the X-Men by this point, but Scott Summers and Lee Forrester got shipwrecked on his Lovecraftian island base purely by chance. Scott has doubts about the plan, but aside from the whole 'authoritarian ruler' thing, his goal is admirable. Nuclear brinkmanship and MAD hasn't destroyed the world yet, but it's hard to imagine the balancing act maintaining indefinitely.

Mags is also shocked that Scott isn't with Jean, and is sad to hear of her death.

Scott doesn't believe him, though, and calls him a hypocrite. Mags goes off about grief, giving us the first hint of his Holocaust survivor status. Their back and forth is cut short by news that the USSR has decided to FAFO. It has been less than a day since his ultimatum, so they got to the Bermuda Triangle quickly! They launch nukes but Magneto disarms them and they fall into the sea.

He doesn't take that attempted nuking kindly, and immediately sinks the Leningrad with all hands then calls the Kremlin to show he's not bluffing.

Behold! He opens up a fissure beneath Varykino and destroys the city, though he allows the people to evacuate. These two acts are not forgotten - even after the fall of the Soviet Union Russia repeatedly attempts to kill him as revenge. Let's just say that it's not surprising Russia didn't want to accept Krakoa.

The X-Men eventually manage to stop him by destroying his volcano Doomsday device, and Magneto has a change of heart when he thinks he killed Kitty Pryde. However, it's not the first or last time he'll threaten the entire world. Countries have Magneto protocols for a reason, though they aren't very effective.