#ptsdinspirational

[hocuspocusletmestrokus]

Sometimes I'm numb, while other's I feel manic. Sometimes I feel like thing's are going calm and steady, and others I can't help but panic. Thing's become worrisome, then I realize I'm constantly using the fight or flight method, like it's a consistent habit. All these different traumas, that consistently keep repeating. Although I don't need to relive everything daily, the memories all make sure to haunt me when I'm dreaming. It's like I can't run, and I can't hide, but I need to keep on fighting to survive. Tell me, as a child were you ever touched and told to fabricate lies? or promised that your loved ones would keep you safe, only for your biggest fear to come into your room, the moment that you shut off the lights late at night? All this for a girl, that just wanted a chance at living a so called normal life. Little did you realize, that these real life nightmares would quickly become part of an almost nightly routine. Something that took years for everyone to finally wake up and believe. Fast forward to when you were quickly becoming a teen, you went from being a Daddy's girl, to being completely over seen. Words that were said, that stung you to the core. They even went as far as saying they couldn't stand being around you, and they didn't want you anymore. Just a young girl that couldn't help but feel unwanted, when all she was trying to do was find a place where she wasn't so easily forgotten. They say that history has a way of learning to repeat itself, and yeah sometimes that's true. But, why is it that the ones that are constantly fighting to be heard are often silenced because nobody wants to believe the truth? They say that #metoo is just a movement and yeah maybe it is, for people that have never been through it. Imagine being a child, and forced to lose your innocence. When you're just to young to fight off the demons and their never ending persistence. You try to scream, but your cries seem to quiet to be heard. I guess that's what people are referring to when they say that the Devil still walks the Earth.

- Amanda Melendez

[natsscienceshit]

100 Days of Productivity

I’ve got like, basically no followers whatsoever, so this probably won’t get any attention which is okay! However, just in case it does, here’s why I’m doing it.

I have really bad anxiety and depression that both stem from PTSD, which I am supposedly ‘’cured’’ of - thank you useless CAMHS therapist! This causes me to be super unproductive. I won’t do anything for days at a time, even though I’ve got a voice at the back of my mind yelling at me to do something, to get on task, to do my homework. I try so hard to begin something but it doesn’t feel right - I don’t feel right. When I try doing things whilst I’m feeling down, I am really slow and nothing goes in. It feels like I’m wasting my time more than if I were to do nothing at all. This doesn’t apply just to school work - housework, personal hygiene (gross, I know, but I’m being honest because I know I’m not the only one having the same issue), even maintaining friendships is harder than normal.

None of the advice offered seems to help. Meditation, relaxing baths, exercise, reading, taking a walk, start with the smallest things and building up until you get the momentum - nothing. It just feels like I’m even more broken than I thought I was. Why does nothing work on me?

So, I’ve decided to try this. I know posting it on here, even though basically no one will see it (although, I hope someone will - if this helps me I want it to help others too somehow) will hold me responsible to keep going and work to the best of my ability. 

For the next 100 days, and longer if it ends up helping, I will write down what I’ve done during the day, both personal and professional achievements, as well as how I’ve felt at the start, middle and end of the day. I will try to include photographs of my work too, that way I can ensure I have put 100% effort into my work and it’s something I’m proud to show off. 

It already feels strange and I feel childish for doing this, kinda like I’m not even a functioning teenager/young adult, but it needs to be done! No harm in trying, right? ♡

[american09mutt]

PTSD is terrifying

Flashbacks are like being forced to watch the same horrible emotional movie over and over again.

Insomnia feels like having your face on a belt sander. It wears you down.

Being sensitive to noises, being touched, and also craving comforting touch.

Wanting to self harm or exert control over yourself to feel safe, to feel grounded.

Sometimes wanting to peel your own skin off to remove the crawling sensation.

Mental illness is not easy. Every one of us who is working through it needs to be easier on ourselves.

[urinternetcounselor]

That's all anyone can do right?

Sometimes doing our best isn't what it looks like for others. But that is OK. We all are on our own different journeys. No two exactly the same. Just promise to yourself that you'll always try your best. It's all we can do! Recovery happens if you let it.

[ceedice]

Tired of waking up in a panic for no reason and feeling like the world is ending.

[starrynights31]

Ptsd poem 30

What doe you see

Or image this look

On my face

Money

Gifts

books

Gift cards

What

Ohhh alalala

I am just freaking happy.

[paintedgreypoetry]

“Momma,

it’s getting harder and harder

to keep my mouth shut around you.

When I see you and you smile

The mask I painted on; starts to crack.

Momma,

It’s getting worst.

The hate,

The pain,

The hurt.

It’s all getting worst.

It’s hard to call a stranger mother.

Momma,

I feel my self sinking

Under the weight of my unspoken words.

I just want to scream

And yell

And stamp my feet

But I can’t

After twenty one years

I sank so deep my mouth

It’s full of watered down excuses.

Momma

I don’t know you.

You are stranger I’m forced to hug.

You are a summary of why I’m so messed up,

Momma!

Don’t you see what you’ve done?

Can’t you hear my silent cries?

Do you even care?

Momma please

Just leave me alone

I’m trying to pick up

All the broken pieces

But you just keep walking over the shattered

Chunks of my psyche.

Momma

When you talk

I nod my head

Thinking of how

Easy it could all be if I just

Exploded.

If I finally

Used the gasoline you poured all over my childhood

And lit this fucked relationship on fire.

Momma one day

I won’t have to spend so much time

Stressing over you.

One day I’ll learn how to deal

And over come.

And I can’t wait to”

~ happy Mother’s Day

[purpleheartpoetry-blog]

Dear,

Mom

•

Twelve years of remorse

I've carried in vain,

I'm so very sorry,

I've caused such pain.

•

The way I have treated you

So inhumane,

I came home so different,

So mean and insane.

•

I've made bright blue skies

Dark thunder and rain,

All of your feelings,

I slowly have drained.

•

You are the one

Who's not left my side,

You are the one,

Who sees me with pride.

•

I love you with all of me

Everything, all,

I hate that I rise,

Then always, I fall.

•

Thank you-

-For picking me up

When I'm down-

Because of you-

-Life has again

Come around.-

•

Because of you

No need to live by the gun,

Maternal real love,

For your war troubled son.

•

Adriana and you

Both why I still fight,

Together you both,

Get me through each night.

•

You and my daughter

Both are my life's light,

You both are my everything,

Both know that I'm right.

•

Love,

Gregg

••••••••••••••••

© Copyright-7/7/17

Gregory J. Fino

US Marines 0311

Iraq 2005

[i-mpower]

Never lose hope! . . . . . #hope #defeatptsd #ptsd #ptsdawareness #ptsdrecovery #ptsdsupport #ptsdinspirational #trauma #traumarecovery #hiddenillness #avoidance #ptsdwarrior #mentalhealth #copingwithptsd #cptsd #veteranswithptsd #vetptsd #ptsdquotes #survivors https://www.instagram.com/p/BosnHqHBGIv/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=r9vydro6u7p6

[usmccarter]

Posted @withregram • @veteranswithptsd Follow @veteranswithptsd for more PTSD support and information! #defeatptsd #ptsdawareness #ptsdsupport #ptsdinspirational #ptsd #ptsdrecovery #ptsdwarrior #copingwithptsd #cptsd #traumareovery #mentalhealth #trauma #fightptsd #complexptsd #veteranswithptsd #ptsdquotes #vetswithptsd https://www.instagram.com/p/CM0RVGgL_Nr/?igshid=19ld34yfth1k

[hocuspocusletmestrokus]

" The F word "

Imagine being asleep, and in a faint distance you begin to hear an echo. Restless, and your mind filled with fog. You begin to think to yourself, what's going on? A sense of clarity begins to take over you. That distant echo that you believed to all be a dream, suddenly becomes a reality. Your dog's are barking, almost as if they're trying to warn you. Like a flare in the sky, trying to signal for help.

You follow the echo, and as it gets closer. You notice something is wrong. The smell of smoke overwhelms you, and you find your kitchen in flames. The image that you wish was nothing but a dream, is now a realistic nightmare. You scream, begging for your beloved husband to wake up. Your voice, it crackles as your soul begins to panic. Upon your husband's awakening the two of you scurry as you each caress your children in your arms. Using your bodies as shields to ensure your children are safe in the battle they are about to endure.

You run, all while your once known sanctuary is fastly becoming an Earthbound Hell. The fire it spreads, almost as if it were a monster that is quickly gaining on it's pray. You inhale, and your throat and lungs begin to burn. Like a snake slowly suffocating it's victim, it's suddenly becoming harder and harder to breathe. Can you escape this Fire monster's grasp? Or will you simply become another one of its victims?

You gasp, as the hot heat intensely hits your skin. The path in front of you, is quickly becoming a labyrinth. So many different ways you can be trapped, and the only way out means battling the monster that is accompanied by its demons. Who are so certain you will soon be joining their firey abyss. The firey abyss that even the Devil himself can't escape.

Your options are running out, and your mind is wearing thin. When suddenly, a glimpse of light slowly begins to peak through. The battle you've been fighting for what seems like centuries, appears to be coming close to it's end. This is it. Your greatest victory. You escaped the beast that was so determined to succeed in destroying you.

But what you didn't realize is, despite escaping the Fire Monster and all of it's hell. It managed to destroy the world as you know it, and the majority of everything in it.

Including your daughters innocence of seeing nothing but beauty in the world. Your daughter who once was so overwhelmed with joy, is now being taunted. Taunted by a monster who constantly reminds her of the real life hell she was forced to endure. The hell she so frequently speaks of, and continues to be terrified of.

You see people often fight their own battles, and while some are lucky enough to live to tell the tale. What they don't tell you is that even if you defeat your own demons. The demons will always be there waiting...

Waiting for you to fall asleep. Because even if you think you defeated them and you'll never have to face them again. They'll always find a way to invade your dreams, your memories, and your mind.

They'll terrify you, and when they do. You won't speak of the damage they've done to you. Instead the word Fire will simply become the only F word that if you can help it, you simply refuse to say.

- Amanda Melendez

[mirandaawesome3-blog]

Acting Not Living

We humans like to conserve energy. We are lazy beings by nature.  Our minds are no different. They resist new thinking, new thoughts, and new paradigms by allowing automatic responses or a preprogrammed answer to override any new ideas, new opportunities, new choices or fresh experiences.  We fall back into predisposed habits of thinking, living and lifestyle. We run to our comfort zone. It doesn’t matter that we loath our comfort zone. It doesn’t matter that we like the thought of breaking out of our comfort zone, our challenge is that once we move away from our comfort zone…it is no longer comfortable.     For example: 30% of people who sign up for a gym membership in January stop going by April.  They like the thought of getting fit. They like the thought of changing their lives. They like the thought of living long and active lives.  They just don’t like the thought of actually changing. They don’t like the thought of exerting themselves.  Now I love G.P.S. I can fly a plane, and when I arrive I will not remember a thing about how I got there.  I punch in a place, head down the road or the airstrip; I hit autopilot and then spend the rest of the flight looking out the window. My G.P.S. will tell me where I am, where I am to go, and headings to take.  The sad thing is that most people live most of their lives like this. They don’t want the challenge to learn new things. They don’t want the mental exercise and the physical discipline. They want to hit autopilot for their lives and make someone else responsible for getting them to where they want to go.

http://www.drjohnaking.com/ptsd-recovery/acting-not-living/

By Dr John A. King

[zombieshavefeelingstoo]

How to help someone with a flashback... sometimes people don’t always know how to help someone with ptsd... so here’s some pointers

* Always ask if it’s ok to touch them, touching without warning can make the flash back worse

* Dont try to slap them or shake them up to "bring them around" this is really bad

Sometimes they will ignore you... not because they want to but because they physically can’t speak... don’t shout at them just continue to speak calmly

* Keep talking calmly. It's okay to repeat yourself and you most likely will do so for 5-10 minutes. Reassure them they are safe and you are there for them. Don't shame, embarrass or tell them "stop it." They can't "stop it," it's out of their control

* Offer the person water or something to drink, or a piece of gum or candy. They most likely will refuse it, but encourage them to take it. Chewing, drinking and swallowing help ground them.

* Ask the person if they know where they are. Don't ask them about the event while they're in it. Distract and ground them.

* Encourage them to move, or to hold something like a jacket, or towel or ice. The sensation helps bring them back to reality. When a flashback happens a person will almost always stop first and begin to disassociate from their surroundings. Offering food, water, asking them to walk with you, anything to ground them or bring them back to here and now is great.

* If they are able to come out of the flashback quickly and have been trained in the skills they need to process it, then you can ask if they'd like to talk about it, but don't be surprised if they say no. They most likely will

[ptsdcollab]

The Sound of Sunshine

The Sound of Sunshine    “On difficult days  when the storm is ragging within me  I sit  wait  and listen  for the sounds of sunshine”   Most mornings are like this for me.  I wake struggling to breathe.  Trying to catch a breath.  Needing to stop the world spinning and emotions swirling.  I used to fight those feelings. I used to have programs, systems, drugs in place to combat them and help me level out.  Now I have found that the most effective thing to do is anticipate the emotions, the blackness, the rage and sit. Quietly. And wait. And listen. Within about 45 mins of rising, calm rolls in, like waves.  This has become known to me as “..the sound of sunshine.”

http://www.drjohnaking.com/ptsd-recovery/sound-of-sunshine/

By Dr John A. King

[miketurnbull86-blog]

Advice for life

Bryan Dyson  Businessman, Former CEO of  Coca-Cola Enterprises  said in a speech:  Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit … and you’re keeping all of these in the air.  You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or evenshattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for Balance in your life.  How?  Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.  Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.  Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.  Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.  Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.  Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each together.  Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.  Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find time. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings!  Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.  Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.  Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.  Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.  Georgia Tech Sept. 6th, 1996  ——–

http://www.drjohnaking.com/ptsd-recovery/bryan-dyson-businessman-former-ceo-of-coca-cola-enterprises/

By Dr John A. King

[starrynights31]

Ptsd 29

I have fairy energy

One says

The other day

But I think that is a pile

Of bull

Until I see this selfie

With fairy smile