#putting fun commentary in the tags is hard

[supermarket-goblin]

Look, I know I literally just finished Ted Lasso but I already have thoughts about TedTrent. Specifically surrounding the scene where the talk about sport as a metaphor and a nickname and then Ted calls Trent Sport as if sport itself isn't something that is means so much to themselves as a concept. Like we know that Ted has a been a coach for most of his adult life and Trent has been writing for the sports column for years! 'Sport' is an important thing in both of their lives and then Ted uses the nickname 'Sport' for Trent, maybe, just maybe, it means Trent is one of the important things in Ted's life too.

[bengiyo]

Ben's Big BL Blurb 3: Blue Canvas of Youthful Days Blew It, But I Still Recommend It

I finished Blue Canvas of Youthful Days today, and I don’t like where we left off with this show. Let’s get into that, and then check in on some of the other shows I’m watching.

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days Didn’t Give the Audience Catharsis

I don’t begrudge the show going for a happy ending, given how so many other BLs from their home country end with sudden traumatic turns. However, I don’t feel like we got catharsis from the ending at all. I struggle to full articulate my frustration here, but I think I just really wanted an ending akin to Weekend (2011) or Gameboys 2 (2022).

I think these two were in a position where they were unable to be together now, and I think they should have ended on a separation. When Cairo and Gav had to separate at the end of Gameboys, it was the correct choice. They were still building their lives, and Gav wasn’t doing well on his on. Similarly, Blue Canvas established a scenario whereby Qi Lu did not have the power to stop his father from harming Qin Xiao. Likewise, Qin Xiao couldn’t keep the local gang from beating Qi Lu.

I would have preferred they have the boys confront that they were hiding things from each other, and how they both failed to protect each other from the horrors. I am disappointed that we didn’t get a poignant goodbye from them as they accept that they can’t be together right now. I wouldn’t have minded so much a blurb at the end of the show with the pitch for a season 2 that they didn’t get to film (though @thisonelikesaliens commentary makes even what they wrote dour). We didn’t confront the issue with the dad at all, and we didn’t deal with Qin Xiao losing all he’d worked for.

Genuinely, I would have been okay with them getting a tag at the end of the show with them seeing each other on the street again and sharing a meaningful look. However, we never saw them face the music of their double noble idiocy, and that sucks. It especially sucks because we had Let Free The Curse of Taekwondo this year, and so we saw the consequences of this. We could have had these two railing against the world and promising to see each other again. The tag at the end of the reuse of the fantasy sequence feels tacked on and unearned. That kinda sucks more.

Final Verdict: 8, Recommended With Reservations. I really liked most of this show, and I think they wrote some phenomenal characters until the finale here. Like @lurkingshan I ended up not pleased with this ending. I am disappointed in the lack of resolution about the withholding, and I think they needed to face the separation and goodbye. However, I really liked the cast, and I respect the team that worked so hard to get this to us.

On to the rest of the show, presented in no particular order…starting with the worst. I’ll put in parentheses what episode number I’m on as of this post.

Haunted Hearts is Boring (5/7)

Magic, mah friend! Your show is boring. I do not know why these boys won’t kiss, and at this point I feel like I don’t care anymore. They’re introducing yet another ghost next week and I just am so disinvested. I try so hard every time to support Oxin Films and Regal Entertainment, but they make it so fucking hard. Holy shit. There’s only so far the boys being cute can carry a thin concept like this.

City of Stars is Better Than I Expected (2/12)

I am catching up on this show. The acting isn’t great, but I’m really enjoying a lot of what’s happening here. I will report back when I finish.

See Your Love is Fun But Kinda Weird (7/13)

The visuals are great in this show, and the leads are filling in the aesthetic gap left behind by Jimmy and Tommy in a way that really works for me. There’s been way too many pratfalls in the last two episodes. We are at 1.5 pratfalls per episode at this point. The side couple is absolutely ridiculous. I’m having fun.

Caged Again is Becoming a Favorite (4/10)

Junior is the best protagonist of the year. I’m obsessed with this penguin boy. I love the way this show uses its supernatural elements to drive its storytelling forward, even if I think the plot got a little silly in episode 4. The friend group dynamics are so fun, and I haven’t enjoyed a group of Thai boys this much since Knock Knock, Boys! (no surprise, two of them are in this show, too).

Your Sky is a Weekly Delight (3/12)

The 2gether rewrite show is great, and I will be reading no commentary to the contrary. These boys are so great, and they are one of the best couples of the year. This show is doing fake dating in a way that’s just so excellent, because it’s real dating! The boys are genuinely trying to get know each other so they can pretend to be a better fake couple. This is so close to being excellent meta commentary about dating in the digital age, and how so much of dating for the current generation is about how others perceive the validity of your relationship. It’s actually so fun to watch a show where the characters are doing all the things you’re supposed to do when you’re trying to build something with someone, but one of them doesn’t fully understand what they’ve gotten into. This show is great, and I love it.

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan is so Slick (5/10)

If there’s one thing a Japanese drama is going to get right it’s trauma! This show delivered on Kai’s horrors in a way that was so visceral that I needed to pause and catch a breath. I remain obsessed with the casting of Nagatsuma Reo as Kai, because he’s taller than Suzuki Asahi sometimes. I really love that they didn’t give us the BL height difference trope, and I like that they didn’t style Kai in a way to make him look more feminine. There’s a egalitarian physical balance between Fuma and Kai that I find extremely refreshing, considering the massive class, wealth, and suffering gap between the two characters. It’s no surprise that we’ve had a dearth of gifs of their sex scene, considering it doesn’t play to the kind of asymmetric aesthetics that folks seem enjoy in their pairings.

As always, the Rei and Kai friendship remains one of the best parts of this story, and I like the way this version of Sky talks to this version of Rain about the queer stuff. He feels like he’s being careful with his friend, and not just ghosting him on important conversations about his friend’s sexual awakening (one of my major gripes with the original Thai adaptation).

Our Youth is Taking Over My Brain (4/11)

I have not moved on from the “Infect me” line, and I am still obsessed with the plausible deniability of the “no homo” that Hirukawa relies upon as he continues to pursue Minase. Now that Minase has reached his breaking point, I’m so looking forward to seeing where we go next. We’re due for a major separation, and I’m ready for a Japanese BL to not fuck up a second chance romance attempt this time. Perhaps adapting Korean work could the solution?

Spare Me Your Mercy is a Welcome Return to the Sammon Feeling I Enjoy (1/10)

I just really love when Sammon shows feel like the mystery matters more than the romance, and this feels like it’s in the correct space. I loved the initial setup, and the potential for there to be multiple murderers. I really hope that they start killing younger people in this show, because they said there were only 40 palliative care patients, and we downed three of them in the first episode. I’m so happy to see JJ again, and Tor looks great. I am looking forward to the weekly watch and theorizing with this show. Most importantly, I’m looking forward to the complex meditation on euthanasia, which this story feels like it’s taking seriously.

Love is Like a Poison Finally has Given Us a BL Battle Couple Again (11/12)

We haven’t had a BL battle couple in what feels like forever. I love that this show continues to reward us for believing in Haruto and Shiba. Haruto’s dad is the absolute worst, and I really want him to lose. I love Shiba, and I love that the show continues to give him some of the visual tropes of a legal drama (like the pan up near the end). I’m in love with this show, and it’s going to be one of my favorites of the year, I’m sure.

Fragrance You Inherit Hurts Me Because Everyone is Doing The Right Thing (4/8)

This show is actually so painful sometimes, because no one is doing anything wrong. Everyone is being as emotionally honest as they can be with everyone they speak to about all of the things that are going on. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Sakura choosing to let go of her lingering crush on Mone now that they’re both moms and their kids are dating. Besides, we presume that Mone is still married! The conversation with On-chan makes me think that Mone misunderstood the relationship Sakura had with him in college (My man is ace but not aro! We love to see it).

I just really love that everyone is trying to do right by everyone around them, and I think all of the things that remain unspoken in this show have been withheld for completely valid reasons. There are no villains in this story, and that makes it even harder to watch really kind people treat each other politely in every scene. I’m just feeling a quiet scream in me the entire time I watch a good son by a thoughtful gift for his loving mother with the help of his supportive and lovely girlfriend, as he prepares a surprise from the old friend who clearly still cares about her friend and the unrequited/unexpressed feelings between them. This show is incredible. Go watch it right now. Thank you again to @isaksbestpillow.

Conclusion

That’s more shows than I’ve been watching in a while. It’s nice to have some Thai shows back in my rotation that I’m actually enjoying. I really want the Chinese to now fuck up their endings, but it seems like 2024 will not be that year. I’ll try to check in with the end of Love is Like a Poison when the Netflix release schedule completes so folks can binge it then. In the mean time, let me know what you’re enjoying, and what else I should consider picking up.

[atomicrebelfire]

🐅 The Tiger’s Out: Thoughts on 9-1-1, Press Cycles, and Fandom Entitlement

Watching the fandom ( ahem-Buddies-ahem) spiral over Bobby’s death this week—on Twitter, in tags, in comments—got me thinking. Not just about the storyline itself, but about how 9-1-1 has shaped its relationship with us as an audience over time.

And I say us because I’m not above it—I’m here too: spiraling, speculating, commenting, hoping, wishing, refreshing AO3. I mean, how else are we supposed to survive being canon ship fans? But it’s hard not to notice how this show, more than most, has encouraged a kind of fandom culture (ahem—Buddies—ahem) that feels increasingly intense, reactive, and exhausting.

🔹 9-1-1 is one of the only network procedurals I’ve seen that does press and postmortems for nearly every episode. (Or maybe I just didn’t follow the press this closely for other shows.) Not just premieres or finales. But like… every time someone breathes too loudly, there’s an interview explaining why.

We’ve all been conditioned to expect that—like the story isn’t done until it’s been followed by cast interviews, Instagram teases, writer commentary, and four different articles saying “here’s what really happened.”

🔹 For a while, it was fun. It felt like being invited into the process. But over time, that constant feedback loop has turned every moment into a test. Every twist feels like a betrayal. Every silence feels like a message. Every character decision becomes something fans feel owed an explanation for.

And yeah—some of the behavior has gotten out of hand (ahem—Buddies—ahem). But if we’re being honest? The show and its promo machine spent years telling us this story was a conversation, that fan feelings would be heard and reflected, that ships were part of the game. And now that the show is pivoting into heavier, messier, less “pleasing” territory?

The fallout is intense. Because people were set up to believe this was their show, too and the story is a customer service product.

But here’s the thing: You can’t spend six+ seasons feeding the tiger and then act shocked when it bites.

Yes, harassment is never okay. And I support the cast and writers drawing boundaries when things get toxic.

But this climate didn’t come out of nowhere. It was built—one postmortem, one vague ship tease, one “we hear you” at a time. And now that they’re trying to pull back, it’s clear just how hard it is to put that energy back in the bottle.

Sometimes the hardest truth is this: You can’t always untrain what you’ve taught.

And now, suddenly, we’re supposed to act like the fandom’s behavior came out of nowhere? Nah. You raised a tiger on steak and serotonin—and now it’s chewing through the walls. And the fans who are normal? Who are fine with stories evolving or ending? They’re drowned out or driven off.

[sitp-recs]

top 10 drarry fics by the sheer force of the feels they gave you? not necessarily good feels! things you remember primarily because they hit hard in some way.

obviously, i'd also love to hear exactly how/why they hit hard if you're up for sharing that!

Oh that’s such a wonderful ask, thank you! I’m sorry for the late reply, the 10 fics came easily bc whenever I see those titles I get immediately transported back to where I was and what I felt reading them for the first time. But putting into words what exactly makes them heartkick-y for me was a bit more challengeging. It’s usually a “when you feel it you know it” kind of thing (and quite literally too, as sometimes it manifests as an actual physical reaction!) but more often than not the fic just clicks for me and there’s no rationale behind it. As Clarice Lispector said: “I suppose that understanding myself is not a question of intelligence but of feeling. It either touches you, or it doesn't."

Anyhoo, I tried my best to keep this short and sweet but since I’ve written individual recs for almost all these fics, I thought I’d include them too :) thanks again, this was super fun! And I’d love to read about your picks as well 👀

An Emerald In The Sky by corvuscrowned | my rec

it doesn’t get more romantic than star-crossed lovers doomed by time travel!!!! (see also: my thoughts on The Eighth Tale by lettered). this is my brand of melancholy, something about the constant yearning, the beauty of stolen moments in liminal space, the unfairness of it all… ugh

Far From the Tree by aideomai | my rec

fft has altered my brain chemistry and ruined me forever with its tender devastation, I had such a visceral reaction to it - to the point of feeling dizzy and feverish. a simple time travel concept (this is my kryptonite istg) but the epic storytelling! the gratification! the bittersweet ending! rereading it would kill me but what a way to go

Forgive Those Who Trespass by Lomonaaeren

easily one of the most haunting and terrifying fics I’ve ever read, one jumpscare after the other but so creative and well-written I was too busy collecting my jaw from the floor to talk myself out of it lol

Little Compton Street by writcraft | my rec

as a queer woman, this one feels extremely personal and is very dear to my heart. I’ll never forget the emotions I felt learning about queer history and finding a sense of peace and belonging. lcs feels like coming home 🏳️‍🌈

Little Red Courgette by blamebrampton

this was my first bb fic and their sense of humor just blew my mind. I was so impressed by the smooth world building, by their wit and clever political commentary. I just couldn’t stop laughing. the dialogue is so good it makes me wanna weep, I can’t explain how much joy and comfort this fic gave me

Merlin Works in Mysterious Ways by lordhellebore

full disclosure: my reading experience was shaped by the fact that I didn’t realize the tagged disability would be major and permanent 🤡 by the time I noticed I was so emotionally invested I couldn’t stop. one of the most painful reads I’ve ever endured, worth it tho

Running on Air by eleventy7 | my rec

introspective fics are my jam and this one was just what I needed while working through some shit at a turning point in my life. so I guess it was more about finding the right fic at the right time, and I’m hit by mixed feelings of catharsis and nostalgia every time I revisit roa.

Still Life (orphaned) | my rec

my definition of a perfect shortfic. gorgeous prose, flawless execution, the “nothing is happening but everything is changing” vibes I live for, one of the best Harry pov I’ve ever read and an ending that always makes me gasp in awe. few authors can write complex emotions so effortlessly as seefin, absolute masterclass

Super Rich Kids by trishjames | my rec

criminally underrated, this story broke my heart but also gave me such a THRILL. I usually avoid substance abuse in fic but something about Draco’s spiral journey felt so raw it kept me at the edge of my seat. devastating but also a surprisingly funny and exciting thriller. the range!!!

The Long Fall by tackytiger | my rec

as someone who’s never been into kid fic and family dynamics, this was a punch on the solar plexus and rearranged my whole view about this trope. I was deeply moved by Harry’s longing for a family of his own and despite not having or wanting kids, this still felt really cathartic and changed me in a way I can’t quite explain.

[ssspideysense]

summary: peter knows a thing or two about yearning.

pairing: tasm!peter parker x f!reader

tags: coworkers, pining, alcohol, i’ve had this in my drafts forever

wc: 2.7k

He listened to the jingle of your keys clutched in your unsteady hand. A graceless windchime, a temporary distraction from the heat of your skin through your clothes on his palm. And maybe even worse– from the smell of your perfume, sweet and fresh, mixed dangerously with the alcohol on your breath.

You were drunk. Past buzzed, past tipsy, you’d downed probably two or three too many drinks from the open bar at the company party, but that’s okay. You deserved to have fun.

Peter had his eye on you all night anyways, turned just the right angle in every conversation he half-assed his way through to keep you in his peripheral vision.

Normally Peter didn’t attend work events like this one. He was busy enough, tired enough to generally not care about his day job’s extracurriculars, but this evening was different— mostly because he overheard you chattering to a coworker about it last Tuesday.

You hemmed and hawed about whether you’d be attending or not: your first Bugle event, someone’s retirement party, some higher up whom you’d never met. “But there’s always free booze and fancy finger food,” your coworker had promised, which made you pause and hum to yourself.

“Eh… I might go. We’ll see.”

And despite himself, he hoped you would. It’d be the perfect loophole to this dilemma he’d put himself in a handful of months ago when you first started at the Bugle, when he first met you.

So, he went. And, thank the stars, so did you.

He didn’t know where you lived before that night, but he found it a little funny, standing in the hallway while you finally pushed your front door open. He’d swung over your building often during his nights out in his suit, and now, you were clumsily pulling him into the cool air of your dark, quiet living room. Peter tried not to trip over his own feet (or yours, for that matter), and reminded himself that you were the intoxicated one, and he needed to get it together, for both of your sakes.

He couldn’t help the grin on his face. “Careful,” his hand caught your arm in the darkness, steadying you. “I think your new limit of vodka cranberries has dropped to… hm, three? I think that’s pretty reasonable.”

You gave him a little scoff, attempting to peel off your shoes while hanging onto the wall. “Shut up— it’s just dark,” you replied. And it was, but you knew that wasn’t the only reason, nor was the alcohol in your system.

It wasn’t hard to notice Peter’s eyes on you earlier in the evening. Plenty of your coworkers had shown up to the rented venue, but the place wasn’t packed. You spotted Peter leaning by a pillar, chatting with someone that worked on a different floor than the both of you. There was a moment of eye-contact, a soft smile from you, then him, but then your attention was drawn away by your friend at your side.

As far as you knew, Peter Parker was a bit elusive around the office and often made himself scarce, but the few times you’d been caught in the elevator together or had to collaborate on some project or another were always pleasant. He was polite, with a nice smile and warm brown eyes.

… and really, really nice hands, you realized once you flipped the hallway light on. His fingers were long and slender and your eyes followed the prominent veins raised up under his skin.

He was just about to pull away when your hold slipped on the wall, jostling you forward a bit. “Woah— alright, maybe two vodka cranberries,” he chuckled, and it did more to you than you’d ever admit while sober.

“Stop making fun of me,” you lamented, laughing despite yourself, “you’re supposed to be helping me.”

“I am helping you.”

“Does your help always come with sassy commentary?”

Peter made a sound halfway between surprise and amusement. “Sassy? I prefer witty, or maybe charming.”

You plopped yourself down on the bench in the entryway. A groan slipped out from your lips and you threw your head back, managing to not knock your head despite the dramatics. “I’d prefer if you got these damn shoes off of me before I lose it.”

He shook his head, but he was already kneeling down to the hardwood. The itty bitty buckled strap around your ankle gave him a hard time for a second, and a little huff of humor puffed out from his chest, “did you need me to make your bed, too? Check under your mattress for a pea?” Peter mused. With one shoe now slipped off, you lifted your other foot up. Automatically, his head lifted a bit, his gaze traveled up your shin, over the long stretch of smooth skin, all the way to the hem of your dress shifted above your knee.

Shit.

“I think I can tuck myself in,” you rolled your eyes, “unless you’re feeling extra generous.”

There was a clock ticking somewhere in your apartment— it was what Peter chose to focus his reeling brain on after he quickly looked away and back to the task at hand. He cleared his throat lightly and worked on freeing your other foot. You more than likely weren’t really aware of what you were saying, or how hard it made his heart thump in his chest. It was fine. He’d get your shoes off and bid you goodnight and leave.

A soft sigh from you broke the thick blanket of quiet once the other shoe was off. Your feet hurt and you swore to yourself you wouldn’t wear them again for a while… even if they were cute. Reaching, your hand smoothed down your calf to your ankle, to the irritation mark from a couple hours of wear. You sucked a little hiss in through your teeth.

“You okay?” Peter’s voice was soft, softer than before, when he was teasing you.

“Yeah— I hate those things, they’re so uncomfortable. I wish they didn’t look so good.”

He found himself agreeing begrudgingly in his head.

You always looked good at the office. A pretty blouse usually tucked into some slacks, your hair effortlessly laid, your smile bright. Beautiful.

But sometimes you’d wear one of those skirts that made your legs look a mile long. You always looked good. At your desk, in the elevator, in the break room, at some old man’s retirement party, and now, sitting in your entryway, gazing down at him with a hazy sort of warmth in your expression.

His eyes settled on your fingers, the way they nursed over the little pinch point left by the tiny silver buckle. Peter gently held your ankle in his hand and a soft, feather light touch smoothed across your skin— you were so soft, like silk, he realized, with his gaze locked onto where his fingertips grazed.

Beautiful.

At some point earlier in the night, your friend skittered off in the pursuit of avoiding some guy from IT that she’d had a messy sort of fling with— you’d already heard all the drama, and didn’t blame her for leaving early, though you couldn’t resist ribbing her a bit before she left. “Maybe this is why we don’t sleep with our coworkers?” You mused, watching her down the last of her drink and stand up.

She shot you a glare with a toss of her hair over her shoulder. “Slut shaming now?”

“No, never,” you replied honestly, but still grinned at her. “Just curious about your selection. There’s not exactly a limited market of available, less complicated men to sleep with, y’know.”

Purse strap hooked over her shoulder, she let out a breath, a familiar and somewhat devious smile growing on her lips. “Oh, come on, like you’ve never thought about it before. Makes it more interesting, more exciting,” she said, and nudged your shoulder, “don’t knock it ‘til you try it.” And with that, she scampered off, leaving you with your drink and your thoughts.

Peter had noticed when your friend left— mostly because of the distinct lack of your laughter now from across the room. The shift was intriguing, to say the least. Not ten minutes prior were you giggling up a storm and bantering and sharing little stories, but when he looked over at you again, you were quiet, idly sipping from your glass while scrolling through your phone. Peter couldn’t help but chuckle a little, hiding it under a strategic nose scratch. The conversation he was barely a part of continued around him without missing a beat.

He didn’t come to stare at you from a distance all night, but he couldn’t exactly see himself actually approaching you with anything interesting enough to say. Every scenario that passed through his head while he watched your lips nurse the black plastic straw felt so cheesy, so cringe-worthy.

Hey, I noticed you when I walked in, not because I specifically looked for you, or anything. Now that you’re sitting here alone, I’m sure you appreciate some guy coming up and trying to talk to you out of nowhere. I’m Peter, by the way, because I honestly don’t expect you to remember my name, even though you’ve worked a few desks away from mine for three months now. And, yes, I’ve been keeping track.

Yeah, right. He had an hour so far to think of some sort of game plan, but he couldn’t bring himself to focus. It was probably a lost cause anyways. You were way out of his league.

He was just about to shift back to the group of men he stood with, but then, you looked up. Right to him, like you knew he was already there, already looking at you.

And you smiled again, a radiant sort of smile that twisted his insides.

“I’m gonna grab a refill,” he muttered out loud, as if anyone around him would notice if he slipped away, before his legs started working on their own.

You couldn’t take your eyes off of him now, knelt down before you, his calloused hands ghosting almost reverently on your leg. Your sweet, polite, somewhat aloof coworker Peter Parker, making goosebumps raise so easily with just a few simple touches. The swirl of tingly heat that tickled your insides almost sent a shiver down your spine.

Slowly, you pulled your own hand back to rest on your knee, and Peter’s fingers traced up to the sore spot you were just worrying over.

It was suddenly so quiet— you figured he could hear your heartbeat, after accepting the fact that he probably heard the way your breath caught in your throat, too.

Peter gently pressed his thumb into the little indented line that encircled you from the ankle strap. He lightly began to knead around the area, massaging, all in the faith of aiding blood flow, of course. Just because he was helpful, of course. He swallowed quietly.

“Does, ah… how’s that?” Peter asked, his voice low, and you sucked in a breath through your nose when he looked up at you. “Feel… better, at all?”

He had those big brown eyes and those stupid long eyelashes that some guys were needlessly blessed with. Casually, helplessly good looking.

Your legs shifted just slightly as you held his gaze, thighs pressed together. “Mhm,” you breathed out, “yeah, that feels nice.” There was probably more to be said, but you couldn’t bring yourself to find the words with a brain like mush and your tongue so suddenly heavy in your mouth.

It was his turn to suck in a breath. “Yeah?”

Warmth radiated from your face. Booze, hormones, whatever— your pulse was giddy, an ache quickly creeping up between your thighs. His voice was so soft, just a little rasp to it. Slowly, you nodded, your tongue darting out to wet your lips.

Alcohol rarely had any sort of desired effect on Peter, and that night was no different, but he ordered another anyway, because he couldn’t just turn around and high-tail it out of there now. Not when he watched you watch him walk over and lean his forearms onto the bartop so casually, as if he knew what he was doing.

Your gaze flickered over him without trying much to hide it— he looked good, though he usually did day to day in the office, too. But tonight his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and his hair was a little bit messy and you caught the subtle shift of his eyes over to you once he was given his drink.

“Fancy seeing you here,” you mused without thinking, the little plastic straw sitting between your lips.

Peter turned to you as if he hadn’t been acutely aware of your presence the entire night. “Likewise,” a light grin grew on his face, “are you having fun yet?”

The way your eyes settled on him, hedged by such long, curled lashes— something kicked around in his chest. “Are you kidding? I entered the raffle and everything. Here’s hoping I go home with that bluetooth toaster,” you hummed.

He couldn’t help but chuckle. “What, so you can preheat from your garage?”

“A win’s a win, isn’t it, Parker?”

Despite your friendly demeanor, a sense of slight surprise washed over him when you said his name. Surprise and, embarrassingly enough, a sense of warmth. “Yeah, s’pose so. Can’t say I wouldn’t be at least a little jealous,” he sipped his drink just to busy his awkward mouth.

Your amusement sparkled in your eyes. “Yeah? Jealous of me and my thousand dollar toaster?” The giggle that slipped from your lips was enough to make his heart thump against his ribcage. Hearing it up close was infinitely better than picking it out from a crowd. “Maybe I’ll let you borrow it some time,” you said.

“How humble and gracious of you,” his smile crinkled the corners of his eyes.

“I’m nothing if not humble and gracious.”

You kept your eyes on him as you sipped from your straw, and he couldn’t look away if he tried. “I dunno, I think there’s at least a few more words to describe you. Like, ah… funny, charismatic,” Peter paused, watching you swallow, “and, um, pretty— ah, beautiful. Just to… just to name a few.”

He looked down to where his fingers gently rubbed slow little circles into your skin, just above your ankle. There wasn’t enough air in your entryway anymore. Not in a claustrophobic sort of way— more like he was suddenly aware of how close you were, how heavy your gaze was on him from your perch on the bench, how hot his breath fanned over your bare skin.

It’d be so easy. So, so easy to just… lean down, press his lips to your shin, pepper a trail up to your knee, gently ease your legs apart… he could smell you, in the moment, not just in his imagination. The light musk of arousal mixed so dangerously with your sweet aroma.

Fuck. He shouldn’t be doing this.

Up, up, his hand smoothed up the back of your calf just slightly, before he gave a gentle squeeze and pulled his hands away. “Right,” Peter stood and straightened, clearing his throat again. He had to avoid eye contact. He wasn’t sure he could handle whatever expression you were giving him at the moment. “You’re home safe, heels are off… it’s getting pretty late, so… you should probably head to bed and prepare for the worst hangover ever tomorrow,” he said, trying to keep his voice light, punctuated with an airy chuckle.

Your eyes followed him as he stood. One hand shoved into his pocket, the other ran through his messy hair. A twinge of something like disappointment clenched at your stomach. “Right,” you mirrored him, both of your bare feet on the ground now.

And you both just looked at each other like that for what felt like forever. You, gazing up at him, and Peter, with his head tilted down at you.

There was so much he wanted to say, but none of it would leave his throat, so he settled for a smile and a little nod. “Yeah… um, goodnight. I’ll… see you at work, yeah?”

God. Way to go. Completely fumbled everything.

But, after a beat or two of quiet, you smiled back. Soft, warm. Your eyes flitted over his face, the stubble along his jaw and the little secret worry line between his brows.

“Yeah.” Your heart pattered in your chest. “Goodnight, Peter.”

[souridealist]

blessed be the fag and the dyke, the mutie and the leather

"Uh, I can solve this one for you right now, Reynolds Wrap. They are... smoking weed... with the candlestick... behind the dumpsters, just like every other teenagers at every high school ever. You should be proud! It's a nice normal adolescent experience." "I know smell of marijuana, Deadpool. Is not that. And they are not children anymore." He pauses. "How is candlestick involved?" "Eh, I'm sure there's a way to use some kind of candlestick as a bong. Pipe, maybe."

Colossus is worried about his protege sneaking out of the X-Mansion, and asks Wade to make sure she's okay. Spoiler alert: she's very okay. Wade/Logan, Wade & Yukio, Yukio/Negasonic Teenage Warhead. Explicit, 13,000 words. BDSM club fic with kink discovery. Dom sadist Wade, sub masochist Logan, and a tiny bit of a love letter to the queer kink community.

Commentary under the cut!

For the sake of anyone finding this, ever, I want with thorough and accurate tags, but I did get to watch my wife read the first thousand words or so with absolutely no information provided in advance, and watching her crack up as she realized what was going on was an absolute joy.

Logan absolutely clocks it the second they're through the door, by the way; it's why he's so embarrassed by Wade getting affectionately bossy with him. I love fic about Logan kind of getting to play with a new side of himself with Wade, but I also love fic about him being in and out of all the different ways the queer community has looked over the last two hundred years, and I ended up leaning on the second a bit more. And, similarly, while I'll happily read fully femdom Wade/Vanessa, we do see a lot of their sex life, and none of it involves power exchange or intentional pain; I don't see it as a part of things, for them. So, yeah, this is on the new side for Wade.

Logan just... is a masochist, like, he's wired to get a lot of good endorphins out of pain in the right contexts, but also, the world at large has mainly valued him for his ability to take pain and his ability to kill. The pain is the one he doesn't hate himself for. So he's getting that out of this emotionally, too, and he really wasn't prepared for the way that'd interact with Wade being so openly affectionate or rubbing his face in the fact that he's enjoying it. That's part of why he goes down as fast and as hard as he does. I was already pushing the limits of what I could get him to verbalize and Wade to pick up on, though, I think.

Wade's narration is, I think, pretty clear about a lot of what he's getting out of it -- plus, I mean, he is sadistic. We see him have so much fun fucking with bad guys / bad-ish guys / proooobably worse than him it's fine guys! And in his general relationships with people, he chases attention and he chases reactions, and there's a degree to which getting reactions out of people is how he tries to control out-of-control situations (best example being antagonizing Francis in the first movie, but he does it with Cassandra Nova too). So there's that too.

The original idea for this thing is covered in the first three thousand words, by the way. It all started with "it'd be really funny if Yukio did the 'hi Wade!'/'hi Yukio!' thing in the midst of various Shenaniganry, like when she'd very obviously been banging NTW somewhere inappropriate -> wait, even better: middle of a kink club -> ...well, I mean, I've put Wade and Logan in the middle of a kink club, am I really gonna leave this at a T rating?" Ten thousand additional words later.

I really hope someone else finds the stinger as funny as I do, because I love nothing like I love irony. Also I genuinely think those two would be cute.

[fanfics4all]

Family Gatherings

Request: Yes / No Fluffcember Day 27

Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night

Barry Allen x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 632

Warnings: Just sweet comfy fluff!

Prompt(s): Family Gatherings

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

If you enjoy my work, you could also show support by buying me a coffee! 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Christmas at the West’s house was pure magic. I could feel it the moment Barry and I stepped through the door. The whole house smelled of pine, cinnamon, and peppermint, with twinkling lights strung along every wall, and a warm fire crackling in the fireplace. Joe had gone all out with the decorations. Iris and Wally were adding final touches to the tree. Cisco was in the kitchen, already sneaking bites of Caitlin’s Christmas cookies while she pretended not to notice, though the smirk on her face gave her away. 

Barry took my coat and hung it by the door, flashing me that smile of his. He knew how much I loved Christmas and having it here, with all this family that felt more like my own with every visit, made it feel even more special. 

“Finally! Now the party can actually start!” Cisco called from the kitchen, waving a wooden spoon. I laughed, joining him and Caitlin as they arranged a mountain of cookies on a platter. Caitlin handed me a gingerbread man and I took a bite, marveling at the perfect balance of spice and sweetness. 

“Caitlin, these are amazing!” I told her, watching as she blushed and a small smile formed on her face. 

“Only the best for the holidays.” She said, dusting flour from her hands. 

“And watch out for Cisco, he’s already eaten almost half the tray.” He gasped in mock offense. 

“Hey! I’m just quality-checking! Ya know, making sure everything is top-tier.” 

The living room suddenly erupted in laughter, and I turned to see Barry draping a strand of tinsel over Joe’s shoulders. Joe responded by rolling his eyes and playfully shoving him away. Wally added his own commentary, and Iris giggled, shaking her head at the sight of her dad wearing silver tinsel.

We gathered around the tree to open presents, love, and laughter filling every corner of the room. Iris passed around mugs of cocoa, and Joe put on a Christmas record that cracked with old-fashioned charm. 

“Alright, first gift of the night!” Joe announced, handing a small, carefully wrapped package to Caitlin. Her eyes widened as she took it and unwrapped it to find a beautiful necklace. Barry squeezed my hand, his thumb brushing gently over my knuckles. His eyes sparkled with excitement as we exchanged gifts and I could tell he’d been looking forward to this moment all night. 

“I know it’s not much.” He muttered as he handed me my gift. It was a small box wrapped in paper with a silver bow. I opened it slowly, my heart racing. Inside was a tony locket, shaped like a snowflake with intricate engravings that shimmered in the light. I looked up, my eyes meeting his and he gave me that soft smile that always melted my heart. 

“It’s perfect…” I whispered, fastening the locket around my neck and feeling its cool weight settle over my heart. 

As the night went on, laughter and joy continued to fill the house. Cisco and Wally attempted a duet to Jingle Bells that quickly devolved into laughter, while Caitlin joined in with a surprisingly good harmony. Even Joe got in on the fun, singing along with a deep voice that had us all in stitches. 

Later, as the night started winding down, I found myself snuggled up on the couch with Barry. His arm was wrapped securely around my waist as we watched the fire crackle and pop. Iris leaned against Joe, her head resting on his shoulder, while Cisco and Caitlin sat across from us, sharing the last of the cookies. 

“This…” Barry mumbled softly, pressing a gentle kiss to my temple.

“...is what Christmas should always feel like.” I glanced up at him, my heart full. 

“Yeah, this is perfect.” I agreed snuggling closer.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @lover-of-books-and-tea @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @kmc1989 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @ready-4-fanfiction @madammarvellous-blog1 @bruisedfists-and-splitlips @flashettewrites @liz-owl

[scoobydoodean]

When I first got here, I came across Cas-focused meta writers who seemed so logical and confident but were so off on Dean. Like off in a way that felt hard to argue! I was never able to put my finger on why before discovering your blog. I felt so powerless. There were a few prolific Casgirls with a vested fetish in abusive Dean and you helped me find the Casgirls I vibe with more. There seem to be so many pro-Dean Casgirls that speak up so much more now!

There was this weird thing going on for a while where a small group of people seemed to think they got to decide what everyone talked about on a given day on spnblr and if you didn’t fall in line with their agenda, they’d reblog your original posts no one forced them to read to add the most obnoxious, catty, passive aggressive commentary and their friends would also dogpile. There was already a destielblr split transpiring over that when I started posting more frequently again/doing more meta writing (post The Winchesters). It was very refreshing to see people who actually like the show and Dean talking about the show together and setting boundaries with bloggers who thought having like 1000 followers gave them the right to control spnblr. Gave me a much more refreshing place to land when I came back all fired up to start hissing and biting. 😂 Glad to help continue what new (and old) pals started <3 The tag catalog has been a fun project and despite the The Deancrit Destiel Wars I have had the time of my life with all of you. ♥️

[vacantgodling]

i'd like to say that this year was more of a planning year than a writing year; not to say that i didn't write; but i spent a lot more time on outlining, worldbuilding, and a new skill that i've added to the fold -- conlanging(!!). because of that, i didn't hit all the goals i made last year but tbh that's aight. without further ado tho:

TOTAL WORDS WRITTEN [january 2024-november 2024]

111,535 (as of 11/15)

once again, if this was all in one place, that would be a full novel but. speaking of full novels:

2024 GOAL STATUS

❌ reach 150k words written overall ✔️ finish cage like it’s GOING to happen i will it ❌ finish the first draft of paramour!!!

so i'm only 1 for 3 and tbh i'm not that mad about it. finishing cage back in february was one of the biggest writing highlights of this year because i showed myself i could do it, i CAN finish something of novel length if i really put my mind to it.

(and yeah, i really did go and get it printed out lmao)

and more than just the accomplishment of writing 82k in one piece, it's also helped me really understand and work out what systems and processes i need to have set up prior to writing to make it work. this is why outlining has been such a huge undertaking for me this year, in varying levels of success (lmao). having a fully fleshed out outline with the literal beat by beat playout of how i want the story to go helped me TREMENDOUSLY in pushing through cage. even on chapters that were rough for me, having that outline to fallback on made it so much easier to stick to a every week one chapter system. and its something i plan to implement with my original wips too.

the only issue is, because original work inherently requires more work since there's no framework except what's in your own head... its been a bit slower for me writing wise. BUT next year i will be operating out of a desperate need for whimsey so i think i'm going to make my goals much.... less stressful than i did this year.

2024 WRITING HIGHLIGHTS

FINISHED CAGE! biggest accomplishment in my life right now tbh. seriously if you haven't and you have any interest in overwatch at all go read it and leave me nice comments while you're at it lol. technically i am working on the interlude piece between cage and its eventual sequel, schism, but that's been kinda slow going as i don't have much motivation to do it right now. first chapter of it is also up on ao3 though -> interlude - quiet

created a conlang??? in a very bizarre turn of events i have created a conlang for my wip with the working title HE WHO SMITES THE SUN (under the tag #s: ph). the language itself is called dzonime'si and if you want to see more of that process check out my #ren fights linguistics tag :)

finished the entire "first draft" of my wip betwixt thumb and forefinger--which is actually an idea that i only thought of this year so that's fun. for the uninitiated it is a gothic reimagining of twilight but with a shit ton more body horror and prochoice commentary. the reason first draft is in quotations is because it is technically a 16k word long outline that i am considering draft one. draft 2 is literally me going bullet point by bullet point and expanding the draft into something more akin to prose. i do have the first few paragraphs of draft 3 started, which is where i'm going to attempt actual prose writing for the first time. pretty much, btaf is becoming a very lengthy process but it's my first "test drive" on how this new outlining to written prose for my original projects will go. i've just gotten... distracted by other wips since then.

2025 GOALS

to be honest, i don’t know if i have many hard goals for next year. mostly because of *gestures at the state of the world right now* :))))))) it’s blatantly obvious that when things are tough, it becomes more difficult to do the things that you want to do that bring you joy. amid trying to just survive the day to day, there’s also my desires to get more involved in bothering the FUCK out of my senators, looking into ways i can be more involved locally (without burning myself out) and just generally trying to not let the state of the world get me down.

i think there’s a lot of things i want to do. i want to finish a bunch of outlines for my wips becuase i can’t tell you how REWARDING it’s been to be able to fully just go back and reread btaf’s outline whenever i like (and have the AMAZING multi leave comments on it like that’s actually another huge highlight of this year thank u friend 💛) and get excited about telling this story all over again. it motivates me to keep doing it! i'd also love to finish btaf's draft 2, maybe try and finish interlude - quiet etc. but—long story short. i don’t think i’m going to put myself on for any particular goals. next year is going to be about celebrating wins in any and every capacity. so all i wanna do is give myself wins.

looking forward to seeing y’all next year, crying about our ocs as usual

💛 ren 💛

[thorne13]

One-shots! Information and comments!

✨📻🍎✨ 🤍🦌🐍🤍

Name is Apples and Deer.

The "yes" won by quite a landslide, thank yall! I have information for it, commentary and such. Also, I will have a tag for this! It will be at the bottom of course, "#ApplesandDeer"

1: There will be no schedule. This is because I am a rather busy student, and I have my own life I need to take care of. It comes first and foremost, but I promise to attempt to make it somewhat regular. I promise to write when I can. You can also ask for a tag!

2: Please send SUGGESTIONS in the ask box and TAG REQUESTS in the comments. This is so I can easily tell which is which, I know what I'm getting into. Of course, you can always put thanks and commentary in both asks and comments.

3: Yall. Come on. Don't send hate. I mean, seriously. It's just annoying, and childish. I won't be sad, and it definitely won't make me stop. You're attempts would be futile; I probably won't even respond to em. And will NOT make me be sad or stop, like I stated earlier. Maybe a screenshot and post, laughing about it if I DO respond. You can of course KINDLY critique my work, tell me "It's hard to read because (x), please fix!", or ACTUAL criticism.

4: THIS WILL HAVE ANGSTY AND SERIOUS TOPICS as well as comedy and fun. I WILL HAVE WARNINGS. Read at your own risk if you choose to. See the post I reblogged about coping mechanisms. Talk to people who care, there are people who do. If you send me a DM about mental health, I will respond. Whether it's vent, asking for advice, whatever, I will. I have been through quite a lot as well. There is also your suicide hotline in your area with a quick google search.

5: This is strictly RadioApple. There will be other characters present in some and a part of the story, of course, but the main focus will mostly be Lucifer and Alastor. We love our traumatized men 🥰

I will make an additional post if anything needs to be added to this. I will also make a masterpost once I start writing the stories and such.

[deadbeatbirdmom]

Feel free to delete this ask and definitely 100% NOT looking for a fight but I saw this tag (#all I know is that armour looks so much more practical than just relying on Aura!) and wanted to ramble a little :)

So on one hand I definitely get where you are coming from vibe wise. However, in my mind given that even the weakest Grimm can tear through cement and metal with ease, I never really felt Armor was useful. Barring two Aura users fighting until a mutual Aura break which can happen but is pretty rare.

Thus, I tend to assume armor is more about presentation, personal style and perhaps a sort of placebo as it won't actually save someone from a swing of a Beowolves claw and so wouldn't reduce the amount of Aura one needs to use to protect themselves from harm.

That's just me though & I do get the desire to see them wearing pragmatic armor regardless. Again feel free to delete if you don't like this ask & I legit love the tags you put on the stuff you reblog, such fun!

No worries, those are very valid points, and a useful reminder of how strong even comparatively minor Grimm are! And also how strong the protection Aura provides is, with how it can withstand what conventional armour can't.

That said I guess armour could perhaps serve some purpose for deflecting blows a bit, and for giving a bit of protection from environmental damage?

It occurs to me that a Hard Light Dust suit of armour could be very useful, if also every expensive, if it could conform to the body shape of the wearer and the emitter things could be entirely on the inside...

Thanks for the tags compliment! I do my best to provide a little positive commentary when I can, even if it's just keysmashing when coherence isn't an option.

Always good to see your posts on my dash, you have a lot of great analysis about RWBY (and no doubt also about fandoms I'm not familiar with), and reblog some lovely fanart (I'm sure the artists really appreciate the replies you leave for them too!).

[onewingedsparrow]

Fandom peeps to get to know better

Tagged by @traveleorzea ! Thanks, friend! :D Last Song: The Mission Impossible Theme, the original and also the trailer theme from Final Reckoning. The latter hits me in the gut because the trailer theme's skillful arrangement of the iconic composition really sings, "We have come so far, so please stay with us unto the end, whatever it may chance to bring." Dead Reckoning made me thrill so hard, and laugh so hard, and cry, and yell...I remember running out of the theater, I was so amazed, so excited that movies today could still carry such deep themes with a character written and acted like Ethan Hunt in Dead Reckoning. I am beyond excited for the next part...and what looks like the finale of Ethan Hunt's impossible missions. I am so ready for Final Reckoning to do the same to me: make me thrill, and laugh, and cry, and yell. I can tell from the trailer that the story is not holding back. I can already sense some of the scenes that will happen, heartwrenching though they may be. And I'm so ready to go on this journey, whatever is ahead. I can hardly wait for May. Favorite Color: Rapid Blue in motorsports terms aka Champion's Blue in Zelda terms. 🔥 Last Book: What was the last book that I finished...? I don't know. But I'm currently in the middle of reading Darkblade Assassin by Andy Peloquin, which is quite fun! Imagine Assassin's Creed meets Jeritza von Hrym meets Castlevania, question mark on that last one because I'm still learning the mystery. I'm so invested. Last Movie x 2 ⤵️ Last good one: Last Breath. Loved the suspense. Loved the actual underwater cinematography. Very little use of CGI! Simu Liu being a grumpy character was entertaining after seeing him be goofy in other movies previously. Last bad one: Borderlands. Specifically to analyze what made it fall flat. It certainly did. The costume design and makeup was good though...makes me sad so much work was put into a movie that was so empty when it had so much narrative potential. It wasn't even a movie so bad that it was fun...it was just...hollow. It had some really cool moments, but then it downplayed what narrative weight it had, and therefore even the few cool moments lost their spark. I don't know how it executed this so...tremendously. But it was definitely fun to watch with a friend and make commentary over. Hehe. Last TV Show: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds...watched the first episode...sighed over the writing that was so determined to dump exposition instead of showing story. Sweet / Spicy / Savory: TRIPLE THREAT. I love things that are flavored with oomph. Last Thing I Searched for Online: These FE Heroes alts I love themmmmmmmmmmmm Look at her jumping rope with the flaming Sword of the Creator, what a silly goose. She contrasts his serious, sensible battle pose perfectly. And she finally gets black armor????? I made her a Dark Knight in my Crimson Flower playthrough so I screamed when I saw her Resplendent Design. It's about TIME SHE GOT TO LOOK COOL WITH DARK ARMOR TO CONTRAST HER FLAMES

Current Obsession: Fire Emblem. Not even one game, I've been Nerding out about ALL OF IT. There's so much care and passion poured into this franchise and Engage in particular is a testament to that. Fire Emblem balances a wacky wild multiverse but it makes it fun rather than tiresome (looking at you for the latter, MCU) through Heroes and Engage, and it just feels like a franchise that's celebrating being alive. Which, considering Awakening was supposed to be its last hurrah, is so beautiful to me. Fire Emblem is always about war and death but within those two things there always brims life and hope—just look to Marth, if you do not believe me—and the franchise's triumphant resurrection after the fittingly named Awakening that was supposed to end it all but only began a new birth of stories is a fourth-wall-breaking phenomenon that only upholds that very wonder, and the way the Emblems kindly speak to and exhort the young fighters in Engage shows how much the franchise takes its lifegiving impact on the real world seriously and in this essay I will— Looking Forward To: Big bang projects taking off. Spring and the flowers it brings. Motorcycles and sportscars emerging from hibernation once again. Meeting a long-ago friend for coffee. Meeting a not-so-long-ago friend to chat for hours once again. ;) More brainstorming and daydreaming an epic storyworld with my brother. So much. There is so much I am looking forward to. This world is crazy, and dark, and sad, and yet...there is so much I am looking forward to, all the same. I always like to add this one to this tag game as well, whenever I get a chance. Things I am Thankful For: My Father's provision when things look bleak. Bumblebee and what he means to me. A name so familiar, heard after so long. @mailrebel . Owl City. Sonic the freaking Hedgehog...I can't believe sometimes when things come full circle, like a loop de loop completed on Green Hill. Tagging @en-busca-de-mi-ikigai-blog @rubiarts @silentsafflina @louwhose @beyo-archives-and-shtuff @larissa-the-scribe @dragongirlie56 @annotated-catastrophe @itsyaboi-lehoe if you would like? :) Here's the template for whoever wants to play next:

Fandom peeps to get to know better

Last Song: Favorite Color: Last Book: Last Movie: Last TV Show: Sweet / Spicy / Savory: Last Thing I Searched for Online: Current Obsession: Looking Forward to: Things I am Thankful For:

[olderthannetfic]

I do think the disclaimers from authors about NOT ENDORSING!!!! certain behaviors in fics is pretty funny, but I’ll admit I do it too. Oddly I only put warnings for abuse of the self, not the abuse of others. I write a fair bit of fic that “romanticizes” (or seems like it does) suicide/self harm/eating disorders to the point where it can almost be a tutorial of how to do it if I’m graphic enough. So in those I normally just add dead dove tags and put a disclaimer about how the trigger warning is no joke and you shouldn’t do the things that the characters do in the fic. It’s not like a Lifetime Movie end credits where the authors note is filled with hotlines and stuff, just a quick little note that, hey, yeah, if you’re considering this, don’t do it.

Oddly, I don’t think that behavior comes from fandom itself but rather from a completely different corner of the internet — when I struggled with the same stuff that I write about, it was pretty common for everyone’s bio to say that they “don’t promote” or they’re “not pro” and I guess old habits die hard. (Whether or not certain types of depression/SH/ana blogs etc really DONT promote or those words are just a please-don’t-ban-me card is a completely different discussion.)

It’s pretty ironic actually because when I’m on the other side of things (as the reader), reading about it is really cathartic in fic, but triggering (not in a fun way) in “real” books. Like there’s several books I had to DNF or shelf because it got to be too much, but oddly enough fic actually helps me a lot.

WOW that was all way heavier than I intended to get when I first started typing this ask! But yeah, that’s my own personal relationship to “I do not endorse” and I didn’t realize how odd it actually is until I started reading some of these other asks! I don’t think any type of “this is bad, actually” authors note is ever necessary honestly, but I also don’t think they’re that big of a deal — if a note from the writer about how they’re ~totally against the “bad” thing they’re writing about~ really takes you out of the fic that much, I don’t understand that either…it’d be one thing if they rambled on and on but even then I don’t think it’s that big of a deal 🤣 Annoying maybe but no one is required to read the AN.

My general threshold is “would a movie/podcast/real™️ book have a similar Viewer Discretion Adviced notice? If so, your A/N is likely fine and not virtual signal-ly or OTT at all.”

--

Heh. I think you're assuming a very different type of PSA from what other people are.

From what I've read, self-harm, suicide, and disordered eating are some of the topics that are a bit Monkey See, Monkey Do. Even support group discussions may increase the desire to cut, for example. It's still not 1:1, and we should be able to make art about serious topics, but a PSA doesn't feel totally absurd here. There are plenty of scientific studies showing measurable increases in people hurting themselves IRL after consuming certain material. Even if you did include a hotline, most people's objection is like "That number isn't valid for where I live", not "No one should ever do this".

I think if you polled people, you'd find that many of the PSA-haters are actually totally fine with "Hey, this fic contains serious depictions of mental illness. Make sure you're up for that today." and similar warnings.

But what people are actually talking about in 99% of "PSAs suck" discussions is rape fantasies.

Some clown writes a fic that is blatant fap material for people who like bodice ripper ravishment, and then they plaster it with "Rape Fantasies Bad" commentary that shows that they're judging themselves and their readers in a puritanical way that's a mega-buzzkill, completely out of keeping with the tone of the fic, and completely out of keeping with the actual scientific evidence.

Rape fantasies are commonplace and not a big deal, and to the extent that any depictions are demonstrably harmful, it's things like mainstream Hollywood movies reinforcing very standard cultural narratives, not somebody's sex pollen fic that's probably full of "It's so wrong, so why is it so hot???" anyway.

[thistledropkick]

I was tagged by @sycamoretrees for The Wrestling 2024 Tag Meme! You can find it here! Please fill it out! This was really fun to do!

Here are the questions:

MVP/Wrestler of the Year

Match of the Year

Favourite Feud

Favourite Tag Team/Faction

Favourite Show

Breakout (ish) Star

Horniest Moment

Most Anticipated in 2025

My answers are super long so I put them behind the cut. I added some bonus ones at the end too.

MVP/Wrestler of the Year:

El Desperado. Despite having two painful, mobility-reducing injuries, Despe managed to have my favorite match of the year and hold my favorite show of the year. Oh, and he won the BOSJ, something I've been hoping he'd manage to do for almost a decade now.

Also, Ueno Yuki, who did amazing work throughout the past year, and who made me fall in love with him as a wrestler so gradually that I didn't even notice it happening. I've always liked Ueno but this year he became one of my favorite wrestlers. I realized it while watching one his title defenses and throughout the match he couldn't stop himself from smiling. He's a guy who loves wrestling, loves his promotion, and puts his all into what he does, and it shows.

I also want to mention Chris Brookes here, for the incredible amount of work he does outside of DDT with his weird and fun Baka Gaijin shows, and both Sasaki and Dino, who are reliably my two favorite aspects of DDT.

Match of the Year:

Chris Brookes vs El Desperado (Wrestle Peter Pan) - This match was somehow everything I had hoped it would be and more. I hope these two can work together again soon - they have such a great overlap when it comes to what they care about in pro wrestling.

Both Chris Brookes vs Sasaki Daisuke matches (DDT King Of DDT Final and DDT Ultimate Party) make this list for me too. I was lucky enough to be in the crowd for the match that Sasaki won, too, which I feel very fortunate for.

Ueno Yuki vs Danshoku Dino (KO-D Openweight Title Match, DDT Heatwave Over Flowers) - Ueno's title run was outstanding from start to finish, and his match with Dino was really great. His match against Dino really got me, and got to something about the heart of DDT too, I think. His whole title run was just outstanding, and really cemented him in my mind as a worthy champ and one of the wrestlers at the center of modern-day DDT. His match against Aoki deserves to go on this list too, among others.

Chris Brookes and Zack Sabre Jr vs KAI and Taichi (UJPW ALL TOGETHER) - This match was so incredibly fun. Zack and his new partner vs his old partner Taichi and a guy that nobody in the group has any particular interest in with was a perfect combination, to the point that it's hard to believe this was the result of a last-minute substitution. I love it whenever Suzuki Gun members can get back in the same ring together. This one was on a crossover show, which I'm usually not that into, but if you skipped it go out of your way to watch this specific match if it holds any interest to you at all.

Suzuki Minoru vs Takayama (TAKAYAMANIA EMPIRE 3) - Look this one just really got to me, I don't know what else to say.

El Desperado vs Clark Connors and El Desperado vs Hayata - These two get listed in part because I saw them live. Despe vs Clark felt like a gift to me personally, since I got to see Desperado and Taichi interaction AND I got to see Desperado's bare face with my own two eyes.

I also want to mention Finlay vs Goto (IWGP Global title match at King Of Pro-Wrestling) here. I am kind of the opposite of a Finlay fan, and while I like Goto he's not one of my faves or anything, but this match was SO fun and engaging despite that. Milano on commentary made me laugh out loud with "The G in Goto stands for GOOD FATHER" which I still think of every time I see Goto now.

Oh and I should also mention Desperado and Hiromu from Wrestle Kingdom too. WK matches always feel like they took place the year before they happened, due to how early in January the show takes place, but that was another great match in their rivalry that definitely deserves a mention.

(I realized after posting this that I forgot some! Antonio Honda vs not-invisible Suzuki Minoru! Hiromu Takahashi vs Mistico! More I'm surely forgetting! I saw a lot of good matches this year!)

Favourite Feud:

DDT GM Imabayashi vs TJPW founder Kouda Tetsuya. Every time this story picks back up again it makes me laugh so hard.

But more seriously - Sasaki Daisuke and Endo Tetsuya's feud that started up at the beginning of 2024 was very good. I'd hoped for the two of them to pick this back up going into 2025, and I'm so disappointed that it can't happen now.

Favourite Tag Team/Faction:

Favorite faction was Damnation TA. I've struggled to get attached to any factions since Damnation and Suzuku Gun both disbanded. I was kind of resistant to Damnation TA for a long time because I missed the original Damnation so much, but I can't deny that they're my favorite pro wrestling faction at the moment.

For tag teams, I'll list three tag teams who barely tagged this year: Danshoku Dino and El "Exotico" Desperado, Chris Brookes and El Amigo, and Chris Brookes and Zack Sabre Jr. There hasn't been much in the tag team scene that I've been particularly drawn to this year unfortunately, but these short-lived tag teams were bright spots in my year.

Favourite Show:

Despe Invitacional - I loved this show so much that I got the special DVD box set of it. The entire lead-up to the show was so creative and fun. The actual show itself was a delight from start to finish. The surprise twist at the end was better than anything I'd hoped for. Just perfect, no critiques, no notes.

DDT goes PHILADELPHIA! also makes this list. That show had the best energy of any non-Chikara show that I've ever been to in the US. Everyone in that crowd was completely on board with everything that show had to offer, and gave back the exact type and level of enthusiasm that DDT was sending out. I had an absolutely fantastic time.

DDT's King of DDT finals show was a really fun show even if I didn't get the result I wanted in that main event. I love to see Big Match Sasaki, and getting to see him twice in one day was a blessing. And I'm not just saying that because I saw this show in person at Korakuen Hall!

Toden Pr- Wrestling (Arakawa Line Special Event) - This one is a show that's also only one match, so I put it in the show category. Our beloved daishacho Takagi Sanshiro vs Suzuki Minoru, battling on an old-fashioned light rail tram line as it travels through Tokyo. I laughed so hard watching this that I cried, but it somehow also managed to get me emotional towards the end. I don't think I've ever seen Suzuki look like he's having this much fun.

The big DDT shows this year were very consistently good in my opinion. DDT Wrestle Peter Pan was essentially a perfect show for me, although it's sadly marred for me by Ibushi and Nakazawa's behavior after the show. The beer garden series was incredibly fun this year too, and the GCW crossover Korakuen show, DDT×GCW Never Ending Noisy Summer, was also VERY fun and exceeded my personal expectations.

I know there was at least one NJPW show this year that made me say "Wow, that was a really good show!" but I absolutely cannot remember which one it was. NJPW was pretty uneven overall this year, in my opinion, but I'll write more about that later. That unevenness led to a lot of shows that, for me, had a mix of strong highlights and stuff I was either not all that interested in or actively disliked.

Breakout (ish) Star:

Suzuki Mataro is my joking answer, Ilusion is my serious answer.

Mataro being pressed into joining Damnation TA because Sasaki was passed-out drunk in a trash can, then forced to retire at a beer garden show, then making a surprise final appearance at Sasaki's produce show post-retirement, was one of the funniest ongoing bits from DDT this year.

Ilusion had that incredibly harsh match against an absolutely merciless Chris Brookes, joined Schadenfreude, then almost immediately turned on them to join Damnation TA instead. Before his heel turn, he was a good wrestler but didn't intrigue me. Post heel-turn, he has a fresh new life to him. His mic performances are so much better, his interactions with Masada have such a malicious edge, and he seems to be benefiting from spending some time with Sasaki. To me at least, he's become so much more fun to watch. (I still dislike his mask design, but I won't count that too harshly against him.)

Horniest Moment:

How could this be anything but Chris Brookes piercing El Desperado's nipples with a staple gun?

Most Anticipated in 2025:

I'm looking forward to seeing Douki return to the ring after his recovery, and to watching whatever match he and Desperado get to put on when they get that chance. And I'm looking forward to this year's BOSJ, of course.

I'm also hoping that Dino can have his match with O Khan, which had to be postponed due to O Khan's injury.

Other than that, I'm not really sure yet!

I'm going to add a some bonus categories too.

Promotion of the year:

Unquestionably, DDT Pro. DDT had a great year, at least to my personal taste. Whenever I watch a DDT show, I come away feeling better for it.

On the other hand, NJPW was kind of a mess this year. They made some really strange choices early in the year (giving Mat Riddle and Nic Nemeth belts for some reason?), had lost both Ospreay and Okada to AEW by the end of February, and then suffered from having their booking disrupted by AEW intermittently throughout the year. A weird and uneven year for NJPW overall, and I hope this year is better.

Commentator of the year:

Murata, absolutely. The better my listening comprehension gets, the more I appreciate Murata and the work he does. His insights are great, but on top of that, the way he takes the nonsense at DDT seriously for maximum comedy effect never fails to make me laugh even harder. I also love Milano, as always, and Desperado on commentary makes whatever he's watching a lot more fun with his enthusiasm.

Fan MVP:

All pro wrestling fan photographers! I'm so grateful for all fan photographers who lug their heavy cameras to shows, take photos when they could just be relaxing and enjoying the matches, and then take the time to edit these photos and post them online for the rest of us to look at, asking nothing but some basic level of respect in return. There are so many little moments that don't make the actual show that would be lost to time without the hard work and dedication of these fan photographers. They do so much good and make pro wrestling fandom a better place for all of us.

If you read this whole thing, YOU are now tagged by me! Fill out these questions and help this spread!

[staticintone]

Some feelings under the cut. Not necessarily negative ones, but feelings nonetheless.

I am shy. At least in roleplay spaces.

I wait to be approached, keep my out of character thoughts to a minimum, reserve this space for only talk about this space. Avoid interacting with people that intimidate me and stay in my lane.

That has been changing since July 1st.

I hesitated big time to post a dash commentary on a situation that had nothing to do with me, involving two players who are much bigger than me in my mind.

That two sentence commentary has led to some of the best writing I have ever done.

I saw dash commentary on Alastor’s radio torture broadcast from people I had never even seen before. I never felt as seen or as involved in the community until that moment, especially for a piece of writing I am still so proud of. Even the creator of the RAM AU was so impressed that they saved it on their blog. That was an incredible feeling.

Two days ago, I jokingly sent a friend a magic anon. I expected it to be screenshotted and sent back to me. Instead, it was posted and became one of the funniest things I’ve had the pleasure of seeing firsthand. It became so much bigger than I expected, even leading to a revenge anon getting me involved yesterday!

And yesterday was just chaos in its own right. I also almost didn’t join the Alastor Arena Event. I felt as though I didn’t belong there, somehow. And I almost missed it by going to sleep! I made comments on just about every post, tagged people I wouldn’t dream of “bothering” before. All culminating in a win that also blew up!

I have always felt like a small fish in a big pond here. I viewed it as safer to hide away in a corner and just write with the people who sought me out than to put myself out there.

I am not the best writer in this space. I explicitly know that, and that is fine by me. This is not me feeling sorry for myself; I just know my limitations.

My Alastor is serious and jaded. He’s hard to get involved in fun and crack circumstances. The most humor I get from him is unintentional, when he reads out ascii text full send for example.

But this whole month so far has shown me that there is a place for him—and for me—here.

I have been trying to put myself out there in small ways, posting out of character things that make me laugh. Talking about the more random things I personally enjoy that I would have never allowed into this space before.

I will try and get myself involved more often. It has been so worth it so far. I can’t promise I will be blind messaging any time soon, but I will be throwing myself and Alastor into the mix much more often.

Thank you all so much for making me feel welcome from day one.

I’m so sorry it took me this long to believe you.

[orchestratedemotion]

The lovely @glasscushion tagged me to talk about 2024 books and I'm all too happy to oblige!

In this essay you will learn that I've never known peace... anyway. If you'd like an unedited ramble about books, please read on!

University completely ruined my ability to read for fun. Books were my first love, prior to high school I easily read 50+ books a year. In high school this dropped to 30-ish, and post high school, well. I was averaging maybe 5 books a year.

2024 was my first year of post-grad, full-time work and I finally remembered that books are a thing that you read, they're not just decorative. I started with a goal of 12, made that 25 when I smashed that in May, and finally finished the year on 30.

Working in public policy put me (a non-fiction fiend at heart) into an environment full of well-read people with great recommendations, so my 2024 reads were mostly non-fiction. I have a background in public health and genetics, this is definitely reflected in my reads. There was also some political commentary in there, a lot of critical thinking about the future of AI, and a handful of F1 releases.

My top 5 non-fiction reads:

Empire of Pain - Patrick Radden Keefe. A delve into America's opioid crisis through the lens of a New York Times journalist. It's 500 pages but didn't feel like it, I flew through it like it was the most gripping novel. I would recommend to anyone who loves long-form or investigative journalism.

Code Breaker - Walter Isaacson. This is an accessible yet interesting look at the long history and development of the CRISPR-Cas9 gene editing technology and explores it's incredible potential and the surrounding ethical considerations.

The Coming Wave - Mustafa Suleyman. What will the future of AI look like, and what do we as a society need to do to prevent the worst case scenarios that people love to throw around? A call for guardrails and effective AI policy.

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone - Lori Gottlieb. I really do love a memoir. The story of a therapist and her therapist, overlaid against the stories of her own patients.

Shortest Way Home - Pete Buttigieg. The memoir strikes again, and what can I say? I'm a sucker for an eloquent man with a brain and a moral compass.

Bonus: My Brother's Ashes are in a Sandwich Bag - Michelle Brasier. You HAVE to listen to this one as an audiobook. Michelle is a comedian, using comedy to process the death of her father and brother to genetic cancer which will almost certainly impact her at some point in her life. I've never laughed and cried so hard simultaneously. Her storytelling style is so me, I've never felt so seen.

My fiction reads tend to be mostly literary fiction, in 2025 my goal is to diversify the voices I read. I only read 7 fiction books in 2024 so a top 5 seems ridiculous, but I loved:

The Work - Bri Lee. I am fond of Bri as a non-fiction writer. I've devoured all of her work and love her Substack, so couldn't wait to get my hands on her debut novel.

The Pairing - Casey McQuiston. Anything Casey releases I will love, this one is no different. I yearn for Europe with good food and wine, so this was always going to be the book for me.

Open Water - Caleb Azumah Nelson. I'm late to the party on this one, but this tiny little book gets under your skin and packs a punch.

I've already finished 5 books for 2025, I'm trying to get back to my roots and finish 52 - I'm excited to give it a go. I've joined the reading challenge of my local book store and a few different book clubs, mostly to try and increase my fiction intake and get out of my comfort zone. (I'm reading Pride and Prejudice rn! She's a classics girly now!)

Wish me luck, see you for the 2025 wrap up. If you've made it this far, please talk to me about books! Follow @ caitrambles on Storygraph!