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yuna542 · 10 months

Text

[2]<-

[3]

›Bad Idea<

Pairing: Hong Woojin × Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst, Enemies with benefits to Lovers

Warnings: 18+, explicit Smut, under 18 DNI!, Suggestive Themes, Swearing, pet names, oral (m & f receiving), hate sex, ANGST, overstimulation

Word Count: 8.3k

Note: There you go. Part 3. If you have requests about Bloodhounds tell me and I will write something <3

Summary: As GunWoo’s little sister he wanted you to finally meet his best friend. Unfortunately you don't get along. He gets on your nerves, you fight all the time and yet you can't stop messing with each other. One evening you get into a dangerous situation and end up bruised and bloody at his apartment. And you suddenly have to ask yourself: Why do you feel so attracted to that idiot?

Chapter 4:

The Café

It was a summer day, just a few clouds hid the blue sky, but nonetheless mornings were less busy during the week. Most people grabbed a coffee before work or on their break and disappeared again.

Just as you were collecting an espresso, the store doorbell rang and you said goodbye to the man in the suit who always got an iced Americano at this hour.

When you saw who came sauntering through the door with his hands in his pockets, your expression darkened like a thunderstorm.

Woojin had a gym bag slung over his shoulder, and when he spotted you, your nostrils twitched with less than enthusiasm. You pulled your ponytail tighter and brought the espresso and a piece of strawberry cake to the only guest who was reading a newspaper at a table, ignoring the seductive glare that followed you.

The old man thanked you and for the first time you cursed that so few guests came. Woojin leaned casually against the counter and waited until you were standing behind it again.

You felt his gaze wander up and down your body.

"What are you doing here? I'm working!" you snapped at him in a hushed voice so the old man with the newspaper wouldn't hear.

Woojin leaned over the counter until his nose almost touched yours and raised his eyebrows provocatively as he said just as muffled:

"I can see that. You look much more friendly in that apron, by the way. It suits you."

Uncomfortably, you tugged at the red apron you had pulled over your black miniskirt and top. Before he embarrassed you further with his seductive eyes that shone like bitter coffee, you cleared your throat and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

"Shut up. What are you doing here?" you asked with a meaner tone than you intended.

However, the whole thing was so awkward because you couldn't stop staring at his lips that had been kissing you all over just a few hours ago and his hands that you could still feel on your hips.

He propped his elbows on the counter and tilted his head. It was clear how much fun he was having annoying and embarrassing you.

In truth, he had only come here on the off chance, without knowing that you were working today. When he spotted you behind the counter, with that cute apron, Dr martens and knee socks peeking out from underneath, his heart skipped a beat.

"You just disappeared this morning... I wanted to see if you were okay. Since we yesterday..."

"What do you care? Nothing happened," you quickly replied, moving a few things from one place to another so you wouldn't have to look at him any longer.

"Right... Absolutely nothing. I‘m a bit broke right now. Do you think you could be merciful and give me something? For free? That strawberry pie really looks..."

"Stop it! You're not getting anything now. I‘m not my mother who falls easily for your charming smile. I'll bring the rest of the pastries to the hall later. So get the hell out of here!" you harshly interrupted him, and that's when a new customer came into the café. Immediately you put on a smile and shooed Woojin away with a wave of your hand.

You really couldn't stand the racing heart and strange tingling in your stomach. So you hoped it would go away with him.

Instead of leaving, he stepped aside and just came behind the counter while you were taking the order. You glared at him as you stood by the coffee machine and he casually leaned against the wall next to it as if he owned the place.

"Always so cheeky," he muttered so softly that only you could hear. By now your head was almost bursting with anger and you had to force yourself not to yell at him in front of the customer.

"I hate you," you hissed, before you turned to serve the finished coffee. The young man thanked you, paid, and by the time he disappeared in the doorway, the corners of your mouth hurt from the forced smile.

Instantly, you whirled around to Woojin and stepped close to him so he could hear you clearly as you growled dangerously:

"Get the hell out of here! Why are you getting on my nerves all the time?"

That's when he braced himself from the wall and was suddenly much taller than you again. An intimidating glint entered his eyes and he pushed you back until your back hit the counter.

"Because I like it when you glare at me so angrily. It’s kind of sexy," he replied in a muffled voice, and you swallowed hard as his breath brushed hotly against your lips. Concerned, you glanced briefly at the old man, but he was completely engrossed in his newspaper.

"Woojin stop it!" you gasped as soon as he propped one hand each to your right and left, trapping you between his chest and the counter.

His presence was so engaging that your knees went weak and you would have loved to lunge at him and rip that stupid shirt off. Instead, you jutted your chin defiantly and tried to look angry.

"I love it when you act all controlling like that knowing damn well I can leave you shaking under me," he muttered with amusement and your breath caught.

Your glares locked and you rolled your eyes.

"It wasn't even that good," you replied monotonously, hitting the mark. His jaw twitched and he laughed bitterly. Satisfied, you smiled sweetly, though you just clawed convulsively at the counter.

"Really? It sounded a little different yesterday..."

You shrugged indifferently.

"It was nothing special."

The lie came easier to your lips than you had expected.

"Then how do you blush so much? I'm not even touching you and you are falling apart", he continued to provoke, and his lips brushed yours for a teeny second. For a moment you closed your eyes, wanting to lean forward and check if he still tasted the same as yesterday.

Just in time you thought better of it, and you winced violently as the doorbell rang, announcing a new customer.

Woojin finally let go of you and took a few steps back. Only then did you realize you had been holding your breath. The customer was the owner of the bookstore across the street, who always went to get a few pieces of cake and sandwiches for her family.

"Good afternoon Mrs. Yang. Can I get you the usual?" you greeted her with glowing cheeks and you feared she could hear your heartbeat across the counter.

She adjusted the green glasses on her nose and smiled kindly.

"Oh Y/N. Is your mother not here today?"

Woojin walked back into the room in time to greet the man with a quick hand gesture, who looked up from his newspaper for the first time and only now seemed to notice him.

"No. I'm afraid she's indisposed."

Mrs. Yang nodded understandingly and looked at what you had already prepared in the counter.

"It's very nice to see you again, too. Give her my best regards!"

"Of course," you replied, daring a tense glance at Woojin, who was watching you. Why did he always have to look at you as if there was nothing else around him? You tried to deny the fact that he was looking directly at you by rolling your eyes, but when he did it more than occasionally with that infamous smirk on his face, it confirmed the theory that he just wanted to annoy you.

"I already put cake back for you," you remembered, and were about to turn around when she raised her hands defensively.

"Oh I think your friend was here before me," she said, pointing at Woojin, who bowed briefly. Before he could say anything, you fixed him warningly with piercing eyes that brooked no argument:

"No, not at all. He was just leaving anyway. And he's not my friend."

You emphasized the last sentence especially and that's when the lady looked back and forth between you in astonishment.

"Oh no? I always see him here and with you."

"He's Gunwoo's friend, and my brother is actually waiting for him," you replied, and Woojin's expression remained impenetrable.

"That's true. I should be on my way. Have a nice day," he wished and bowed to the old lady before strolling out of the store with his hands in his pockets as if nothing had ever happened.

"Strange boy," you heard the lady mutter as you prepared her order.

"You don't say," you replied, anger mixed with confusion. You had lost control and didn't know what to do.

"Well, but he looks good..." she added, and a hysterical laugh escaped you.

Chapter 5:

The Flirt

Shortly after you called it a day and took off your apron, your thoughts still turned to Woojin. As much as you wanted to banish him from your thoughts, you found it increasingly difficult.

With the basket full of leftover pastries, you made your way to the hall where Gunwoo and Woojin trained with their coaches and other boxers almost every day.

The pastries consisted of rice cakes, some stuffed pancakes that you would have thrown away and especially egg bread.

This was Woojin's favorite. The first time he had tried it in the store, his eyes had almost fallen out and he had eaten so much of it that he had been sick for days. When you caught yourself smiling at the thought, you pinched your arm in punishment.

As you walked into the hall, the boys' attention was immediately on you and the basket of goodies.

Normally your mother did this regularly, now when the boxers saw you they froze in front of their punching bags and the guy who was in the ring with Woojin almost got hit by a punch because he was just staring at you.

Gunwoo broke away from his spot where he had just been throwing punches with his trainer and put an arm around you as he led you to the center of the room.

"Nice to see you again Y/N," the trainer said and you returned his smile.

"I'm just bringing something to strengthen."

The tall guy with the short hair who was standing in the ring with Woojin climbed out and stripped off his boxing gloves. You deliberately avoided looking in Woojin's direction. He was shirtless, sweat glistening on his muscles, and you couldn't bear the sight of his damn perfect body right now.

You were, to tell the truth, too afraid to give in to the heaping testosterone and accidentally lick him. Woojin's looks were easy to overlook when everything that came out of his mouth was rubbish, you just became painfully aware of that again.

"Heaven sent you!" the other boxer said, daring to look into the basket.

The others gathered around you as well and you set the basket down at the edge of the ring, where the boxers pounced on it like wild dogs.

They were all muscularly built, sweaty from training, and you didn't know where to look among all the half-naked bodies. Your eyes widened for a brief moment as the shock of Woojin's body that you had seen many times, especially while boxing, it still amazed you how attractive this man was.

Gunwoo also got some of the egg bread and then joined his trainer. They were all preparing for important amateur fights to maybe make it to the professional league someday.

Just as Woojin was about to come your way, you turned the other way and joined the big guy with whom he had been standing in the Ring.

"How's it going?" you engaged him in conversation, and Woojin stayed with Gunwoo, though not without looking over at you again and again.

"It's going pretty well I think.... The competition is tough. But we can learn a lot from each other," he said, eyeing you unobtrusively.

You leaned against the wall next to the punching bag and looked at the boxer more closely. He was good looking, probably the same age as you, and had a nice smile.

"I'm Woonho, by the way," he introduced himself, running a hand through his wet sweaty hair.

"I'm Y/N. Gunwoo's sister."

Woonho nodded and looked over at your brother, and that's when he noticed Woojin's piercing gaze as well. It was like he wanted to stab him with it.

"That's cool. Gunwoo and Woojin are the best around. They talk a lot about you. How do you feel about boxing?"

The question reached you unexpectedly. Looking at him confused, you laughed lightly.

"I've never tried it before. I don't think it's for me."

"Oh. I thought because of the injury," he said, pointing to his own temple. Reflexively, you grabbed the spot and winced as you were painfully reminded of the bruise.

"Oh, that? I was looking at my phone and ran into a door frame," you lied, and there he was, smiling brightly. He had cute dimples and loyal eyes.

"I think you'd make a good boxer."

"Really?" you asked incredulously and he nodded vehemently.

"Sure. It's not that hard. All you have to do is make a fist, stand up right and punch."

He demonstrated and punched the punching bag. Smiling enthusiastically, he held out a hand invitingly.

"Try it!"

"Okay. But if I hurt myself it's your fault!" you chuckled wryly.

"I'll take that."

You stood as he showed and tried to strike.

Amused, he corrected your posture by touching your hip and wrists.

Woojin boiled inside when he saw you laughing and as soon as Woonho touched you too and you looked up at him with your warm eyes, he wanted to punch someone's face. Preferably Woonhos.

An animalistic growl rose from his throat and something stung painfully in his chest when he saw how much fun you were having with the younger boxer. He stopped following the conversation with Gunwoo a long time ago. His gaze was fixed on you and how you playfully brushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

You were flirting that was more than obvious. He shouldn't care about that. He shouldn't care at all, and yet he pushed Gunwoo aside in mid-sentence and his legs carried him over to you as if by themselves.

Before anyone could comprehend what was happening, Woojin had already grabbed him, yanked him back by the shoulder, and was staring relentlessly into his eyes.

"Hey keep your hands off her, you hear me?" he snapped at him.

Woonho just raised his hands defensively and took a few steps back when he saw the anger in Woojin's eyes.

"Relax. We were just talking. I didn't know she was your girl."

Stunned, you stepped next to Woonho and glared angrily at Woojin.

"She definitely is not."

Woojin didn't respond. He was like in a tunnel and his anger was directed only at Woonho. Even though he was smaller, he seemed a lot more intimidating and you were starting to not be sure if he wasn't just going to punch him.

Completely perplexed, you could only stare at him.

What had gotten into him? The rest in the hall had also fallen silent and were watching the scene.

"Well did you get it? Piss off or do you want me to finish you off like in the ring?"

Now it was a clear threat.

Woonho didn't seem to think it would be worth it and gave in. Silently he grabbed his stuff and disappeared from the hall. Shaking your head, you watched as Woojin ran back to Gunwoo and continued the conversation as if nothing had ever happened.

His arrogance made you so angry that you gritted your teeth. The anger burned inside you, but you held back until Woojin was the last to disappear into the locker room. The rest were already ready to leave and were still chatting outside the hall.

You seized the moment and stormed into the locker room. The door flew shut loudly behind you and Woojin whirled around from his locker to face you.

"What the fuck was that about?" you yelled at him, but he just packed his boxing gloves into his bag, unimpressed. He was still wearing the red shorts and sweat glistened on his muscles in the orange light of the small room.

"I don't know what you mean."

You thought you were going to burst with anger. Quickly you ran up to him, slamming the locker shut with one hand so he'd stop occupy with it and look at you.

"Don't act even dumber than you are! Why did you do that?"

"Did you want something from the little shit?" he asked as if it was your fault, since you had approached him.

"That's not the point... You have no right to it! I don't belong to you. We were just fucking! Nothing more. And it was a mistake. A big fucking mistake."

He watched your eyes spark, and you could clearly tell from the twitch of his jaw that he was starting to get angry, too.

Or his anger was just now coming to the surface.

"Oh yeah, are you so in need of it that you want to get it from some random douche bag? Do you need attention that bad? I can call him, he'd fuck you right now."

His words causing you to growl and nearly punch him in the mouth. Maybe if you did it hard enough, he would never talk again. You heavily considered it.

„You fucking asshole. I don't know why I'm even talking to you."

Stunned, you massaged your temples and you turned around because otherwise you would surely punch him in his pretty face. He drove you crazy just by breathing. You wanted to leave. You wouldn't get a normal response besides insults anyway.

"What, are you just going to walk away? Are you that much of a coward?" he shouted after you and that made you spin around.

"Shut up already!" you yelled, and you would have loved to throw yourself on the floor and cry. But your pride wouldn't let him have the last word.

"You really are pathetic!"

"You went out of your way to flirt with him in front of me to piss me off, didn't you?" he hurled at you, storming at you until he was standing close to you, taking away any air you could breathe. You looked up at him, your lower lip twitching uncontrollably as you did so.

"Why are you getting mad at me for flirting with someone else? We slept together once, doesn't mean we're exclusive. You hate me! So what's your problem?"

Why was he staring at your lips when you were arguing? The lump in your throat was getting bigger and the tension in the air was starting to crush you.

"Yeah, well, I don't like seeing other people all over you even if we're nothing more than just two people who like to have sex with each other. So what about it? Even though I hate you, it bugs me."

No matter what you said, it just made everything more confusing.

"You have no right to do that! Act like a normal person for once and not an asshole!" you hissed emphatically.

"Then don't act like a desperate bitch!"

Anger shot through your veins like poison and before you even realized what you were doing, you lashed out and punched his face.

However, unluckily he was a boxer and caught your fist with ease before it even touched him. Saying you were flushed and flustered during the argument was an understatement. You felt like you were bathing in a sauna on a summer day. The anger that bubbled under your heated skin didn't help in cooling you down. It only made you more furious that his little provocations affected you so easily.

Surprised, he clasped your wrist and it hurt.

"Don't you dare do that again!", he growled and still you took out your other fist. Maybe just because of his threat.

However, he caught that one too and so he held both your wrists.

Before you knew what was happening, he was pushing you against the locker and pinning both of your hands above your head against the cool metal so you couldn't attack him further, which was probably wise since you wouldn't have stopped.

"I hate you," he growled, and you just took in his body pressed tightly against yours. The acid that spat from your mouth always ignited a fire inside of him that he's never felt from anyone else.

"I hate you too," you murmured, and already his nose was brushing your cheek. He shielded you from the room with his muscular shoulders, and the coolness of the locker door at your back completely exposed you to him.

Breathlessly you gazed at each other and the crackling energy was palpable.

His eyes gleamed lustfully and you unconsciously bit your lower lip as he pushed your legs apart with his knee and stepped even closer to you until your hips were firmly against each other.

He wasn't just hot, he was beautiful. From the symmetrical lines of his cupids bow to the dark lashes framing chocolate eyes, he was hypnotic. And he had you completely under his spell.

The anger and hatred between you turned the energy into arousal and the two of you crashed together with teeth and lips, a brawl of desperate hands and angry grudges. He pressed you against the locker at the waist, let go of your hands and grumbled as you pressed your body against his. Fingers tangled in hair immediately, tugging and scratching. His lips were pillowy and soft, addictive. He couldn’t stop watching you. Hair a mess, eyes blown wide, and lips swollen. It was a glorious sight.

He rushed under your shirt, pulled it over your head and you got rid of your shoes in parallel. While your hands were occupied on getting rid of your clothes, neither of you cared about anything else but finally feeling each other's bodies to blow off steam.

After he also undid your bra and threw it aside, he ran his fingers over your covered cunt.

"You're already so wet and I haven't even done anything yet," he murmured, cupping your breast with one hand while the other pulled off your panties.

He circled his index and middle fingers over your clit until you gasped into his mouth between kisses. The kiss was rough, full of hatred. Both of you fighting for dominance, not willing to lose it, not even for a second.

You impatiently pulled down his shorts and underwear, which he also kicked aside. Finally you felt his length again, which you had been thinking about constantly.

"We don't have much time. Gunwoo is waiting," you said, stroking his shoulder blades, while he was already hard again. Excitedly you looked up at him, but your heart skipped a beat when he looked at you with the mischievous grin. There was an insatiable hunger in his eyes, yet he pressed a kiss to your jawline and murmured:

"Say it! Say what you want!"

You couldn't bring yourself to say the words- couldn't stand the thought of asking your mortal enemy to fuck you in the locker room at his own boxing gym.

"Tell me you want me to ruin you," he whispered in your ear, putting more pressure on your clit so that your body melted in his hands.

"I want you to fuck me, Woojin. Ruin me, please!" you said, rolling your hips against him, making him gasp sharply.

"Good girl," he replied, and you got goosebumps. Without further ado, he grabbed your ass, lifted you up and you automatically wrapped your legs around his hips. His tip was already stretching your entrance, but it wasn't until your back was pressed firmly against the locker that he slid inch by inch inside you. As he did so, a sigh ripped off him as your walls snuggled around him. A whimper escaped you and he held you with ease.

When he was fully absorbed in you, he looked at you urgently.

"You have to be quiet or they'll hear us," he stressed, and you had completely forgotten that everyone including your brother was still in the hall cleaning up.

He didn't give you any time to adjust, one hand grabbing your hip, the other groping your breast, as he started to slam into you at an unforgiving pace. The temperature that began to rise on your cheeks was spreading to your limbs, muscles slowly coiling as the pleasure continued to build at your core.

The locker creaked dangerously with each thrust and you tried to stifle your noises, but it wasn't easy as he thrusted deeper and deeper, your eyes almost cloudy from how good he truly felt inside of you. Another sensual kiss ensured, the combination of his raspy moans and your desperate whines slipped into each other, trying to stay quiet and muffle both of your sinful noises with messy kisses. The locker hitting the wall with each thrust.

It was almost ridiculous how fast your orgasm rolled on while he slammed into you.

You didn't really want to admit how good he was at fucking you, but by now there was no question. The knot in your lower abdomen tightened and while you tried to be quiet, you clawed into his back so hard you would definitely leave scratch marks.

"Your so tight... Fuck," he growled, spreading wet kisses down your neck that made you whimper. Desperate, you struggled to stop your naughty noises.

"Woojin... Don't stop!" you moaned, and he felt your body tremble.

"Come around me! It's okay, dollface," he gasped and even stepped it up a notch.

Your body betrayed you, obeying his command instantly, your body sucking his cock in deeper, ready to fall off the edge. You dissolved into the pleasure, pressing your hand over your mouth so as not to let everyone else in the hall know how well Woojin was fucking you.

But as the climax washed over you, he didn't stop.

As if it spurred him on even more, he continued to penetrate you and the look on your overwhelmed face made his dick twitch excitedly inside you. Your pussy was pulsating and overstimulated. Each of his thrusts you felt all the way up your spine and you feared fainting if he was going on at that pace.

As your nails dug deeper into his back and you tried to push him away, as it was all too much, he put a hand around your neck and pressed you against the locker, making it hard for you to move.

"I'm not done with you yet!" he pressed out between clenched teeth, and gradually his thrusts became more irregular.

Like a wild animal, he fixed you and when he increased the pressure on your neck, your eyes rolled back.

"I won't stop until I've filled your tight sweet cunt up and you can't walk anymore."

"Fuck you," you gasped in a trembling voice and by now you were sure you couldn't walk anymore. It was a power play that would never end. His hand on your neck and his never ending abuse of your pussy had you floating in the clouds.

The second orgasm rolled in with a ferocity that made your legs tremble. The sight of your fucked out face, your breasts bouncing with each thrust and your sore pussy finally brought him over the edge and you came together.

Like drowning you clung to each other and savored your orgasms.

Then he lowered you slowly and you had to sit down on the bench first. He also let himself fall on it, breathing heavily, you tried to bring your pulse under control.

Silently you gathered your clothes, got dressed and tried not to let on how difficult every step was for you. Your legs trembled incessantly and calmed down only after you had finished dressing.

Woojin also slipped into his clothes, but the silence was not unpleasant. It was soothing and even though you had argued and you were still angry, you felt comfortable with him.

At the door you paused for a moment and looked over your shoulder.

"This changes nothing i still hate you," you assured him and he nodded.

"Sure you do," he replied and the brief moment you looked at each other you smiled stupidly.

Chapter 6:

The Headphones

The next few days were not as strange as you thought they would be. In fact, everything was the same as before, only the meaningful looks between you were new.

Just like the racing heart that would kill you when he accidentally touched your arm at dinner or pushed you to the side while you were walking.

Relatively quickly, you realized that it was really nothing more than a fuck for him, and it should be for you. When he visited Gunwoo, you got a disparaging look and when it came to food, he still pushed you aside roughly to be the first to get Mom's famous omelet. But it didn't let you rest easy that he was the only one who made you feel such intense things.

Surely it couldn't just be him?

You tossed and turned in your bed a week later, once again plagued by thoughts of the jerk. He wouldn't let you go and even haunted your dreams. It was a catastrophe and you would have liked to forget everything that had happened. But you couldn't.

Nothing had happened between you for a week. In fact, you argued more often and were even more hostile, but without the sex.

Your body longed for it. Sighing, you stared at the ceiling. Today you were alone.

Gunwoo was out with Mom and so you had the house to yourself.

Lost in thought, you stroked the fabric of Woojin's shirt that you still wore at night.

You just haven't had a chance to give it back to him yet. At least that's what you told yourself.

You slept in it and it smelled so nice. It was stupid and naive, but when you closed your eyes and smelled it, you imagined that he was with you, touching your body and kissing your neck.

With your eyes closed, you played with the hem of the shirt. Underneath you only wore panties. You didn't want to leave the house today anyway. It was raining and you were afraid of being tormented by those damn thoughts about that arrogant idiot all the time.

The racing heart, the heat in your cheeks and the fluttering in your stomach had become annoyingly loud by now.

Your fingers danced on your belly and caressed your thighs. Closing your eyes, you imagined again how Woojin's fingers firmly but lovingly touched your soft skin. It was like a drug, that saved you from loosing it and keeping you sane.

Slowly your fingers found their way between your legs and you let them slide into your panties.

You inhaled deeply as you concentrated on the movements, trying to give yourself the same pleasure that Woojin had gave you. You first ran your fingers down your slit, collecting that sweet arousal until it coated your fingers. You then moved up to your clit, rubbing it in quick circles.

Soft sighs escaped you as you tried to chase the feeling, kneading your breasts through his shirt until you contorted your face in annoyance.

Touching yourself had always given you satisfaction, but the liberating feeling was gone. That was all Woojin's fault. Ever since you slept together, nothing felt comparable.

"Do you need a little help?"

You almost screamed and jumped out of the bed. Completely startled, you straightened up and stared at the curly-haired man leaning casually in the doorway, his cheeks flushed despite his annoying grin.

Staring at him in disbelief, you wrapped the blanket around your body, like it would hide the embarrassing situation he bursted into.

"What the hell Woojin? Do you like stalking women and breaking into their houses?" you yelled, anger equal to shame turning your face red and made your voice stumbling.

He raised your front door key in the air and jingled it as he said:

"Actually I didn't break in. Gunwoo gave me the key."

"That doesn't answer why you're here!" you snapped at him, wishing you could have sunk into the ground.

"I forgot my headphones."

He pointed to the black headphones that were now around his neck, the ones he always carried around. He took them off and waved them in front of you, as if it would made it any less awkward for you.

It was such a simple answer that you could only stare in confusion.

"Can I come in?" he asked, as if he hadn't just caught you masturbating.

"What, no?" it ripped out of you, but he had already pulled the door shut behind him and was wandering around your room. With his hands in his pockets, he looked around at your dressing table, your plants, and the pictures on the walls that often featured Gunwoo, Mom, and your friends from highschool.

Stunned by his audacity, you watched him from your bed. Today he looked annoyingly handsome again. His curls fell tangled in his forehead and he wore a tank top that was cut wide at the sides so you could see his abs.

"Can you get out of here?" you asked, and that's when he turned to you and said:

"Is that my shirt you're wearing?"

You almost choked on your own words as you wanted to hurl some insult at him, but the sudden racing of your heart stopped you. By now your head was as red as a tomato. You had to be running a fever.

"How long were you standing at the door?" you asked a little more meekly, pinching the bridge of your nose. If he watched, while you were touching yourself in his shirt, you would definitely take the next flight and never come back.

Curiously he pulled open one of your drawers and pulled out a pair of black lace underwear.

"Long enough..." he muttered, grinning as you jumped off the bed, ripping your underwear out of his hand and slamming the drawer loudly shut.

"What are you even thinking? Stop touching my stuff!What are you doing here?" you asked harshly, poking him in the chest with your index finger.

He eyed you with amusement as your body lay softly under the fabric of his shirt and your bare legs extended out underneath.

"Just my headphones. That's when I heard you and came to see if you might need help."

The shame made your hands shake at the thought of him hearing your desperate sighs and moans.

"Great."

You turned your head toward him, trying to look confident and unbothered by his whole presence.

"Now get the fuck out of my bedroom! I don't want to look at your annoying face for a while."

"I can help you..." he murmured challengingly, suddenly pulling you closer by the waist. A startled gasp escaped you as his thumb traced circles on your hipbones and his eyes bored into yours.

"What do you mean?" you asked, completely distracted by his lips once again.

He gestured to your bed.

"I can make you come... You just have to ask nicely, dollface," he replied, the corners of his mouth twitching in amusement as you exhaled in annoyance.

Hong Woojin was a flirt, and a good one. You were experiencing his best lines. And the worst part was they worked. You wanted to push him away, maybe even slap him for his audacity, but you were desperate.

There was this desire and your body was on fire just by looking at him.

You nodded, which caught him completely off guard. Because he had actually also expected a blow and not a commitment. He wanted to tease you, to see that seductive blush on your cheeks and the way you bit your lower lip when you were angry. He knew you were a lot of things. Sarcastic, blunt, mean towards him, or so he thought. But he didn't thought you would be a tease.

"Okay. Good... Please make me come."

Your words were already making his jeans feel uncomfortably tight, and everything inside him tingled as he brushed a strand of hair out of your forehead.

"Then lie down and spread your legs, baby girl," he murmured and you got goosebumps all over your body. He was smug, overconfident. Irritatingly attractive.

You did as he said, sat down on the bed and spread your legs a little.

He looked at your panties with a hungry glint in his eyes. He knelt in front of the bed, between your thighs, and your heart hammered excitedly with anticipation. With both hands he grabbed you by the waist and lifted you to the edge of the bed with ease.

Then he slowly rolled your panties off your legs and pushed your knees apart with his hands. With an animalistic smile, he looked at your shiny middle.

"So pretty..." he murmured, and you were already getting so wet from it that you fell gasping onto your back.

He kissed your inner thighs and sucked lightly on your sensitive skin until he worked the spot with his mouth right next to where you actually wanted to feel him.

He smiled contentedly and when his tongue met your clit directly, an embarrassed whimper escaped you. He began circling the bundle of nerves with his tongue and sucking on it. He was addicted to the way you sighed and the way your body arched at his every touch. He never understood it, but when he was at your door and saw how flustered you were, it finally clicked.

He wanted you. Desperately wanted to make you feel good.

He enjoyed the view of the lines of your curves peeking out from under his shirt and your narrowed eyes as you tried to block out the noise. He licked a long strip across your slit and sucked hard on your clit, making you curse:

"Fuck! Woojin... Stop that damn teasing!“

Hearing his name come across your lips in such a filthy way made the heat shoot through his veins. Briefly, he stopped and looked at you.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked just to annoy you. With fluttering eyelids you sparkled at him, but he looked so beautiful, that you couldn't resist him any longer.

The dark curls framed his face like an engaging portrait, his eyes shone like liquid chocolate and his pink lips glistened from your wetness.

"For gods sake Woojin! I'll smash your face if you stop!"

The vibration of his chuckling laughter transferred directly to your core and you shuddered. With a smug smirk, he continued to itch your clit, giving you a blissful friction that had your eyes rolling. Once his tongue licked into your entrance, your stomach tensed as you bit your lip forcefully, containing all of your noises.

He started to eat you out as if you were his last meal, putting your legs on his shoulders to thrust even deeper with his tongue and his nose bumped teasingly against your clit.

It wasn't fair that he was even incredibly good at this. You clawed your fingers into the sheets and his name flowed like a mantra across your lips.

You almost forgot about his hand on your thighs until he squeezed them, slid down and grabbed the soft flesh of your ass to press you further against his face. Stars began to gloss over your vision as heated lust fogged up your mind.

His tongue penetrated you with increasing intensity. His mouth and chin were now full of your juices and he had rarely tasted anything more delicious.

If you let him, he would live forever between your legs.

"You taste like heaven, babe.... so good," he murmured, muffled by your cunt.

Then, as he sank two fingers into you and sucked on your clit, you felt your body float into the sky until you were seeing the clouds of pure ecstasy surround you. He was taking his time with you, partly for himself, savouring the moment, enjoying in the way you fell apart before him and partly to tease you into insanity.

You were afraid to explode as your orgasm washed over you without announcement.

Out of your mouth came curses and his name with the most pornographic sounds he had ever heard. You melted in his hands and as soon as your high faded he licked it all clean. Your pussy was sensitive and your hand flew into his hair as he continued.

Like an addict he kept fingering you and his plush lips kept working on your aching cunt.

"Woojin it's too much," you gasped overwhelmed as he brought on the next orgasm. He paused for a moment, looking at you and wishing he could have taken a picture. You looked beautiful with those puffy lips, buzzed look and beautiful eyes.

"You can take it, sweetheart. One more, okay?" he purred and with his sweet little smile, between your legs, you couldn't refuse him anything.

As his mouth rested on your pussy again and he pumped his fingers in and out, you began to see black dots. The next orgasm made your legs tremble around his head and you knew nothing more except his name flowing continuously over your lips.

The way you moaned his name, like it was the only one you knew, the only one that mattered, made his jeans feel impossibly tight. He started palming himself to get some relief.

But even then he didn't stop.

"One more baby. You can do it!" he said cheering you on, and you feared fainting with your next orgasm. However, your body craved it and pushed your hip right at him.

There was nothing left in your head but incoherent mass and as he pumped his fingers into you faster and low growls hummed from his throat, you came a third time. Only this time the world spun around you and your entire body was flooded with energy.

With a rattling breath you opened your eyes. You hadn't even realized you had closed them and looked down at Woojin who was wiping his mouth with his shirt.

"Fuck you squirted all over my face," he said, climbing up to you and propping himself up on the right and left sides of your head to look at you. You didn't even know you could do this.

You were still hovering somewhere between consciousness and drunkenness, unable to say a word.

"Are you all right?" he asked, lovingly stroking your temple, along your jaw, and with his thumb over your lower lip. Gradually you managed to fight your way back to reality and when you saw his brown eyes above you, you breathed a sigh of relief.

"It's all good..." you sighed even though your legs shook that much that you would probably never be able to walk again.

"Was that good?" he asked, sounding genuinely interested. Instead of answering, you pulled him down to you by the back of his neck and kissed him. Immediately your bodies were pressed against each other and he moved his lips against yours as if he had been waiting for this for days.

"Was that a yes?" he murmured against your lips and you both grinned, your foreheads pressed together, your hands tangled up in his hair.

"That was a yes," you replied, and before his confidence could grow any more, you pushed him back by the shoulder, pushing him onto his back and climbing on top of him.

Amazed, he watched you do it and put his hands on your hips as you looked at him from above. You felt even through his jeans how hard he was and just a small movement of your hips was enough to make him hiss.

"What do you think? You want me to return the favor?" you asked mockingly, pushing his shirt up agonizingly slowly.

He helped you take it off and dug his fingers into your hips so you would stop wriggling on his lap like that. Otherwise, he'd come right in his pants.

"That would only be fair," he replied, and you traced the contours of his rock-hard abs with your fingers. The bruises were just dark shadows by now, that you brushed one by one with your lips.

„God my head is about to explode“, he managed to say between needy sigh’s.

His cheeks were flushed and you could see how much he needed it. Now it was your turn. With a mischievous grin you climbed down his body until you were kneeling between his legs.

Only then did he begin to realize what you were up to.

With nimble fingers you opened his pants and he wiggled his hips to pull them down as fast as possible. When you pulled down his boxers as well, he gasped pathetically. His hard cock popped out and its tip was already purple. You had tortured him quite a bit.

You put a hand around his shaft and he watched you with widened eyes as you licked a little precum off his tip, keeping eye contact with him.

He had never seen anything hotter and a sweet sound rose in his throat as you began to slowly move your hand up and down his shaft.

"Holy shit... Fuck..." it tore out of him and he snapped his hips at you.

Teasingly you left your hand still and licked your lips.

"Take it in your mouth!" he commanded with a cute whine and you realized your chance to pay him back some of his bullshit. His eyes widened as he realized the position he had put himself in.

"Beg!" you said with a mean grin and he stubbornly pressed his lips together. Desperation made him gasp softly and you could see him struggling with himself. But he gave in faster as you moved your hand slowly along his length.

"Please, suck me off! Please I need to feel your mouth so bad!"

That was enough to convince you. Satisfied you palmed him faster again and finally you let your tongue circle around his tip until you took him all the way into your mouth.

His head fell into his neck and a loud moan escaped him as you bobbed your head along his dick. He buried his hand in your hair and soon he was guiding your head at a steady pace.

"Your mouth is so warm. So good. Ahh," he murmured to himself, watching his throbbing dick disappear between your full lips.

His grip on your hair grew increasingly tighter and as he pushed himself down your throat, tears welled up in your eyes. You gagged because of his enormous length, but that turned him on even more .

Gasping, he chased his own high and fucked your mouth restlessly. You couldn't breathe through your mouth anymore and his entire dick was full of your spit. Whimpering, you clawed at his thighs as he pressed your head so hard against his dick that tears ran down your cheeks.

It was intoxicating and despite the pain in your throat, arousal pulsed inside you.

"That's it, baby girl. Can't believe you let me fuck your mouth like the needy little slut you are," he growled and held you pressed onto his length for a few seconds until he continued thrusting into your throat.

"You're my little fuck toy! Mine alone!" he pressed out and his dick twitched inside your mouth.

The wet sounds, your dirty gagging and the sight of your glassy eyes made his motions become sloppy and with a few final deep thrusts, he pushed his dick all the way down your throat until your nose touched the skin of his belly and held you there.

You couldn't breathe and he came with an animalistic moan down your throat before releasing you and letting you breathe again.

By now tears, spit and cum were mixing in your mouth and on your lips. As his high ebbed he let go of you. You ran the back of your hand over your mouth and he had never seen anything more beautiful than your fucked out face. Suddenly he grabbed you and kissed you with his entire soul. You were confused by the intensity and blinked at him, when he let you go. It were so many emotions at once, that you couldn’t assign them to reasonable thoughts.

He pulled his shorts and jeans back up. Just in time as you heard the front door slam shut.

"Shit!" it escaped you in panic and with a glance at the clock you realized that you had already been messing around in your bed for two hours.

"Gunwoo and Mom are already back," you whispered, jumping off the bed to toss him his tank top, which he quickly pulled over his head.

As he stumbled out of bed, you pulled a pair of underpants out of the closet and slipped into panties and jeans.

As he stood at the door, he paused and turned to face you. Briefly, you nodded and he opened the door as quietly as possible. Your brother and Mom were carrying the groceries into the kitchen and gossiping loudly.

Just as he was about to slip out quietly, your Mom turned and spotted him.

"Ohh Woojin. You're here?" she exclaimed delightedly and Gunwoo now turned to you as well. She never looked so happy, when you came through the door…

You turned white as a sheet as your brother just stared at his best friend, while he was slipping out of his sister's room.

"Yes. I got my headphones," he said quickly, joining the others in the kitchen. Before Gunwoo could ask, you followed Woojin and said as normally as you could:

"I had them in my room. I wanted to try them out."

Woojin raised his eyebrows and looked at you obviously amazed by your excellent lying abilities.

"You mean you were going to steal them", he spat at you with the perfect amount of hatred to hide the truth.

"As if I needed to. You leave your stuff everywhere", you shot back venomously, and Gunwoo nodded sighing. It seemed all was the same as usual.

"Stop arguing and help me instead!", he demanded and threw a whole net of potatoes at Woojin.

Silently, you breathed a simultaneous sigh of relief when Gunwoo didn't ask further, and started to help him clean up the groceries.

That's how it went on for the next few weeks.

->[4]

—

Taglist (open):

@marked-unknown @littlebaby-bunbun @officialshania @choisoorin @fanaticnae @hoe4wonwoo @lola2004sworld @penny44224 @artisticbirb @amnmich @spaggedy @tasteskz-sworld

686 notes · View notes

bomber-grl · 4 months

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Leo Valdez x Child of Hypnos ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

Pairing(s): Leo Valdez x Gn!Reader

First of all, I’m surprised your paths even crossed 😭

I mean you’re quite literally the opposite of each other but I mean “opposites attract”

You two most likely met when annabeth would go to your cabin to get something from your sibling the head counselor

The two of you started getting to know each other mainly because of how, again, Leo’s type is someone out of his league

Ngl he didn’t really think of you much but in the rare occasion you’d be at the bonfire he tries to get close and even forces someone like annabeth or Percy to introduce him to you

One notable thing about you to him was the fact you were more awake than your siblings

You’d be found wondering around camp, the few times he saw you walking was when you got a snack then fell asleep on a bench

Most people just passed you like it was no big deal but he decided to get a water bottle and sit next to you

He heard you mumbling a bit about something and then he heard his name

He heard his name!!!

Well you began stirring under his gaze and got up while rubbing your eye

You didn’t even take note of him and layed back down on his lap

…. Aaaand that’s how it stayed for a few hours, he was even teased by passerby’s

We all know damn well it was the stoll siblings

Anyway eventually it got late so he carried you back to your cabin and left

Once he got back into his bed he couldn’t sleep whatsoever, still thinking of why you said his name

He sorta forgot about the whole ordeal until you came to his cabin and was made aware by his sibling

He went to the door and there you were… with baked good…?

You were barely conscious but admitted to having baked them with the help of Will (who gladly agreed)

You gave them to him for getting you back to your cabin safely and told him you’d be up for hanging out, but not too often, and preferably not during the day

Then you skidaddled

He kept thinking of it and he was so touched that he didn’t let anyone eat any of the goods😭

Anyway, your siblings were all out of camp one time (what a coincidence) so you decided to invite him over

The two of you ended up really talking while on your bed and you ended up telling him about you

He was surprised by your hobbies, art, reading and not so surprised by the fact you were introverted

He eventually asked how u were more coherent than any of your other siblings

-and you answered honestly

You really didn’t know, but even if you were seen as sleepy still, you really weren’t as much at least

It was just that you were really imaginative and would daydream more often than not

He was honestly surprised to actually have a real convo with you but he eventually began talking about himself too

The two of you spoke for a much longer time than originally intended and that turned into a sleepover

He really didn’t wanna end your convo but it was hard to deny the fact his lids were getting heavy

You reassured him to just sleep and eventually the two of you did just that

And what really surprised him? Was seeing you in his dreams

He was so shocked it was honestly funny 💀😭

He was weirded out too but he decided to go along with it

Honestly was kinda cool since you were able to talk while sleeping and still be well rested so

A win is a win

It was honestly surprising he didn’t immediately fall asleep when he entered your cabin but yknow

The two of you are closer than you could ever imagine, even if your most intimate (not in a 18+ way) was while the two of you were laying in bed

A lot of people were weirded out, especially since you were seen more around camp during the daytime and at bonfires due to Leo

But it was a good change

In times of when people are fighting or whatnot whether it’s in battle or capture the flag he love being on your side

Especially since you can literally make anyone instantly fall asleep without putting in the effort

Honestly really cool especially since he won’t have to retort to violence

Either way he really loves you especially when he’s not able to fall asleep, he can just fall asleep in your arms and go to sleep

244 notes · View notes

seunmong-in · 29 days

Text

💋🌧️Kiss Me in the Rain🌧️💋

Pairing: Non! Idol Seungmin x reader Genre: Love at first sight (They did meet before but never gotten close), humor, cursing per usual, fluff, references to video games and anxiety Summary: Unable to go home due to the heavy rain outside, Seungmin is faced with being stuck at Changbin’s house until the rain clears out. But what happens when Changbin’s roommate, who Seungmin has only met once, is also home and steals Seungmin’s heart at first glance? Words: 2.9k A/N: So this may be a bit longer than I intended… but my insomnia got the best of me and my brain kept rambling with thoughts so here we are, my longest POV. I know I said this under my Felix POV but I have to say it again because I can not EXPRESS how much I am grateful and overwhelmed with joy about how many people liked my POV’s!! It truly means the world to me and it makes me strive to write more for everyone to enjoy! If you haven’t read Felix’s or Han’s story and want to, click on their name, it should send you to their stories. Later in the week I will be making a poll on which member I should write next about so stay on the lookout for that in the next couple days!! Anywho, getting on to our scheduled program now, I hope you guys enjoy Seungmin’s story!!

P.s. Who else is going to Lolla this year and is secretly wishing Straykids play Topline or Hall of fame so they can scream their lungs out? I know I am!!

♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆

Oh, fuck me.

Those were words Seungmin thought when he opened the door to reveal the pouring rain outside. He regretted not listening to Jisung when he said it would rain heavily later in the afternoon as he left for Changbin's. Mentally cursing himself out, knowing he couldn't drive home as planned, Seungmin sighed as he closed the door and walked back to the living room, throwing himself on the couch. Seungmin would've gone upstairs to Bin's room to bother him, but his hyung had left a few minutes before the rain started to pick up Jeongin. Pulling out his phone, Seungmin texts Changbin, letting him know that he is staying until the rain dies down and for him to stay safe. He puts his phone away, leans over, and grabs the TV remote. There wasn't much on the TV, so Seungmin watched anime to pass the time.

"Binnie, where the fuck did you put my gaming headset- Oh shit, Hi, um… Seungmin, right?"

Completely engrossed in the anime, Seungmin suddenly jumps when the soft-spoken voice speaks, pulling him out of his trance. He turns to see Y/n, Changbin's roommate, standing at the bottom of the stairs. Seungmin's heart skipped a beat as he took in her appearance. Y/n was wearing an oversized hoodie that belonged to Changbin and biker shorts. The hoodie engulfed her petite frame, making her look delicate. Her hair was still wet from a recent shower, and the sweet fragrance of vanilla filled the air as she approached him. Seungmin couldn't help but admire her beauty, noticing her glasses slightly fogged up from the shower's steam. He found himself getting lost in her sparkling eyes and felt his heart racing. Although he had met her at Changbin's housewarming party a few months back, Y/n looked different, and Seungmin couldn't resist but admire her beauty.

"Yeah, And you're Y/n, right."

Y/n positions herself comfortably on the couch beside Seungmin, crossing her legs as she nods in agreement with him. Seungmin pauses the series he is watching and turns to face her fuller, a hint of shyness creeping onto his face.

"By chance, where is my wonderful hyung? The bastard misplaced my gaming headset, and I need it to play Overwatch with a couple of my friends."

Ignoring the first part of her question, Seungmin's excitement beams through when Y/n mentions she plays his favorite game. He usually plays with Changbin and Jeongin, but it has been a while since they've played. He primarily plays alone or with Felix and Chan, though they are more severe players.

"Wait, you play Overwatch too?"

Seungmin's voice was filled with so much excitement that Y/n couldn't help but giggle. She got up from the cozy couch and approached the stairs. She looked back at Seungmin, still sitting on the sofa, staring back at her.

"If you want, I can show you my gaming pc setup. It's not much, but it's something," she offers as she continues to walk up the stairs.

With a slight hesitation, Seungmin followed Y/n up the stairs to her room, still feeling shy around her. But as he stepped inside, his eyes widened with amazement. The room was spacious and decorated with album covers and paintings, gifts that his other hyung, Hyunjin, had given her. The LED lights wrapped around the ceiling, casting a warm, inviting orange glow that made the room feel cozy and welcoming.

Looking around more into Y/n's room, his eyes were immediately drawn to her gaming setup. It looked like a gamer's paradise with a customized PC, fantastic LED lighting system, custom gaming keyboard, and sleek wireless mouse in pink and black. Y/n's setup was impressive, nonetheless. While one of her monitors had Overwatch already launched, the other screen had a Word document open, with the title reading "Kiss me in the Rain. "But before Seungmin could see more, Y/n quickly minimized the tab, leaving him curious and intrigued. He couldn't help but wonder what that document was about.

"You write as well?"

Y/n's heart skipped a beat as she looked down, realizing she had been caught red-handed. Hot flashes crept up her cheeks as she realized that no one, not even Changbin, had ever laid eyes on her writing. It wasn't that she was embarrassed about her work, but the fact that she had always thought of writing as her own private sanctuary, where she could feel vulnerable and have no judgment. Writing was also her second safe place, her go-to whenever she had a panic attack, with Changbin being her first. When distressed, Changbin would soothe her with warm hugs and cuddles until she felt better.

Y/n settles into her gaming chair, her fingers tapping nervously on the armrest. "To be honest," she says, "writing is my go-to when I'm anxious or want to feel vulnerable for a while. There's something about putting pen to paper that just helps me calm down." Seungmin couldn't help but be intrigued by her words. Though the pair rarely spoke when he did come over to visit, it felt nice to be able to interact with her on this level. Not wanting to bombard her with more questions, he simply asked more about the story she was writing.

"What's this story about?"

"It's about two friends trying to complete their bucket lists before the summer ends, and they have to go off to college. They devised a plan to complete each of their bucket list dreams one by one until the very last day of summer. On the last day, the FMC added one more thing to the bucket list she wanted completed before leaving: for the MMC, her newly developed crush, to kiss her in the rain while it was pouring out."

"Kinda sounds like how it is right now," both laugh as Seungmin looks out the window. The rain is still pouring hard outside, and there is no sign of stopping soon. Y/n's phone vibrates as she turns her chair to grab it off her desk. It was a message from Changbin.

"Well, Binnie isn't coming back tonight. He says the roads are bad, so he's staying at Jeongin's. Which sucks cause I still don't have my damn headset," Y/n pouts as she puts her phone back on the desk. Without saying a word, Seungmin gets up from the beanbag chair and exits the room, only to appear minutes later, handing Y/n the headset he took from Bin's room.

"I keep a spare one in Hyung's room whenever I stay over; here use it.”

"Oh, Minnie, you didn't have to."

Minnie... Feeling his face turn red with the new nickname Y/n gave him, he continued to hold out the headset in front of her.

"Seriously, take it. Besides, I wanna see you play. I have to see what my competition looks like."

Without backing down from Seungmin's challenge, Y/n confidently takes the headset, puts it on her head, and connects the aux to her PC. As the match starts, Seungmin is taken aback by her intense focus. He is fascinated by her gameplay, which is different from his own. Despite her unique approach to defense and combat, she continues to win match after match.

Seungmin sat back on the beanbag chair as Y/n continued her winning streak. However, he wasn't watching her play; his eyes fixed on her. He couldn't help but notice the small details of her behavior - the way she would scrunch her nose to keep her glasses from sliding down her face, the little victory dances she did when she won matches, and the lightning-quick movements of her hand when her hair fell over her eyes. He was amazed by her skill and grace, and he felt a sense of awe and admiration wash over him.

But as he watched her, Seungmin realized his feelings for Y/n were changing. A strange sensation began to stir in his stomach like a flock of butterflies had taken flight inside him. Feeling flustered and confused, Seungmin tapped Y/n on the arm and excused himself. He ran out of her room and hurried downstairs to make an urgent phone call to the only person he could think of who might help him figure out what to do next.

"Hey Min, what's up," Binnie answers, yawning mid-sentence.

"What do you do when you like someone?"

"What?"

"Changbin, I know you heard me. Answer my question," Seungmin demands.

"It's Y/n, isn't it? See, I knew it from the first day you met her. Your eyeballs practically almost fell from your face," Changbin teased. There was nothing but silence and embarrassment as the banter continued.

"Jesus, Bin can you shut the fuck up for a minute and help me, please," Seungmin practically begs his hyung. It was rare for Seungmin to say please, nonetheless, curse at anyone. This was serious for him.

"Okay, okay, sorry, I'll stop," Changbin laughs. "What exactly do you like about her?"

Seungmin paused, taking a moment as he tried to collect his thoughts. Y/n is kind-hearted and gentle, with a soft-spoken voice that makes him feel safe. Her writing was outstanding, and he hung on every word she said. However, it wasn't just her mind that he was drawn to. There was something undeniably alluring about her physical presence as well. The way her hair fell in soft waves around her face and her eyes lit up when she laughed - every little detail about her seemed to captivate him.

Seungmin's heart was heavy with emotion, and he knew he couldn't keep it to himself any longer. "Hyung," he began, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes darting around to ensure Y/n was out of earshot. "I can't help but feel drawn to her. She's like a dream come true, the perfect match for me. Changbin, I didn't expect to fall for her so quickly, and I don't know how to handle these feelings. What should I do?"

"Tell her how you feel. Knowing Y/n, she would be flattered hearing this. Oh, just to give you a confidence boost—you didn't hear it from me—but when everyone left after the housewarming, she thought you were the cutest out of all the boys."

When Seungmin heard that, a bright smile that stretched from ear to ear was plastered on his face. It indeed gave him a boost to follow his heart. Before ending the call with Changbin, he asked for one more thing from Seungmin.

"Just don't hurt her, Min. You both mean a lot to me and if things don't go well with you guys, I refuse to take sides. Plus, I don't want to fight you for hurting my best friend; you are too soft and cute to hit."

"I won't, I promise."

Trying to contain his happiness, Seungmin quickly runs up the stairs. Ideas on how he could tell Y/n how he felt started going off like fireworks until he thought of the perfect one. He softly opens Y/n's door just as she stops playing OW. Instead, she had the same document open and was typing away. Feeling like she was being watched, she turned her chair around only to meet Seungmin's soft gaze. She softly smiles and asks, "Everything okay, you were gone for a while. I didn't make you nervous with my gaming skills, did I?"

Chuckling at her joke, Seungmin shakes his head as he approaches her.

"I was just telling Binnie I was staying the night since it's still raining out," Seungmin lied. Though the rain was starting to die out a bit, the roads weren't safe to drive in. Suddenly, Seungmin reaches out for Y/n's hand, pulling her out of her chair and her room. Confused with what was happening, Y/n couldn't help but question what was going through his mind as they both walked down the stairs, heading towards the house's back door.

"Minnie, what are you doing?" Y/n asked as he let go of her hand and opened the door to reveal the rain outside. Though it wasn't as hard as at the beginning of the afternoon, it was still pouring down at a decent rate.

"When you mentioned your story earlier and how the friends had things on their bucket list they wanted to complete, I realized that I had some of my own I have never completed. And well, playing in the rain is one of them. So I was wondering if you wanted to help me with that," Seungmin's cheeks turn bright red as he extends his hand towards her. Without a second thought, Y/n grabs his hand as the pair goes outside into the rain.

As the chilly raindrops cascaded from the overcast sky, Y/n and Seungmin stood opposite each other in the backyard. They gazed at each other with wide grins and intertwined their hands, feeling the warmth from their palms. They began to spin slowly in a circle, their movements cautious at first, and then they picked up speed, their feet sliding on the slick grass. As Y/n lost her footing, Seungmin swiftly grasped her by the waist and pulled her toward him to prevent her from falling. Although the darkness enveloped them, Y/n's cheeks flushed a bright red at the proximity of their bodies.

"Is this okay?" Seungmin asked, trying to read her face to see if she was uncomfortable. The last thing he wanted was to make her uneasy, ruining his chances of possibly being with her. Y/n smiled as she nodded. She wrapped her arms around his neck, softly swaying. The two continued to sway slowly, staring into each other's eyes without saying a word. The moment couldn't be perfect for Seungmin as Y/n, their eyes now connected.

"As much as I want to continue dancing in the rain, I want to tell you something. That phone call with Binnie-hyung wasn't about me staying the night, though I know he would be okay with either way. It was about you," Seungmin starts to explain. Y/n's face turns into shock, and she tries to figure out if she did anything wrong. Seungmin must've picked up on what she was thinking and started to chuckle.

"I want you to know that you haven't done anything wrong. In fact, you have done something that I didn't think was possible. It's difficult to express myself, but I want to take a chance. Y/n, I have strong feelings for you. I understand this may seem sudden, especially since this is our first time hanging out alone. However, there is something about you that draws me towards you. There is so much more to learn about you and I want to know everything about you- your likes, dislikes, fears, and dreams. I want to be there for you in every possible way imaginable. You don't have to say anything now; I don't expect you to feel the same way as I do. I simply wanted to tell you how I feel before I get inside of my own head."

Y/n took a moment to process everything that had been said and looked down for a moment. She started catching feelings for Seungmin too, whose shy and calming manner perfectly fit her sometimes crazy personality. Looking back into his eyes, she noticed that his now wet hair covered most of his vision, so she softly pushed it away, revealing her cheeky smile. She was going to ask him something that the FMC wanted done in her story.

"I also have a bucket list I didn't get to complete. Do you mind helping me," Y/n asked.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Kiss me in the rain."

Seungmin's heart races as he looks at the girl he confessed to. Without wasting another precious moment, he gently takes her hand, his fingers intertwining with hers. He can feel the warmth of her skin against his as he pulls her closer, his other hand cupping the back of her head as he leans in for a kiss.

The rain slowly begins to let up, creating a serene backdrop for their first kiss. Seungmin's lips are soft and tender against hers. As the last few drops of rain trickle down, Seungmin finally pulls away.

He doesn't want to let go of her just yet, so he takes her hand in his, holding it tightly as they both catch their breath. Their eyes meet, as he is the first one to speak.

"So, I assume you feel the same way then.”

"Yeah, I do. And by the way, you don't have to ask; I'm yours now, Minnie."

As soon as she responded, he couldn't help but smile, feeling a rush of warmth in his chest. He pulled her in without hesitation for another passionate kiss, their lips meeting perfectly harmoniously.

After their little moment, the couple realized they were soaked from the rain, so they decided to change into dry, clean clothes for the rest of the night. They spent most of their time playing Overwatch together, with short intermissions in between as Seungmin helped Y/n with her story.

When morning arrived, and the roads were clear, Changbin came home and peeked into Y/n's room. He saw Seungmin sleeping beside Y/n, with his arms wrapped around her. Her head was resting comfortably on his chest. Changbin smiled and took out his phone to send a picture to the boys' group chat. He knew Seungmin might be annoyed with him later, but for now, he was happy to see his friend with his dream girl.

#stray kids #straykids imagines #straykids smau #skz fluff #skz fanfic #skz imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids x reader #stray kids fake texts #seungmin #skz smau #skz seungmin #skz changbin #stray kids x you #straykids fluff #stray kids imagine #skz x y/n #skz stay

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cupofmiko · 1 year

Text

LOVELY TO BE HERE (WITH YOU) - midoriya izuku x f!reader

with midoriya izuku, some things have always been easy. other things, however, have not.

genre: a strangers to lovers to exes to lovers au, pro hero au | angst, fluff

warnings: aged up characters (you and Izuku go through your 20s during this fic), a right person wrong time fic, hurt/comfort, happy ending, Izuku is taller than you, insecurity, talks of a boss/employee relationship (nothing happens during that time), making out, some smut (fem!recieving oral, mating press, slight dom!Izuku?? some dumbification… not actually sure I’m just putting it in the warning just in case, use of “pretty girl” and “good girl”), mentions of an outside natural disaster, arguments, you and Izuku gets a little Mean during the argument, Bakugou and Kirishima are your Helpful Friends and Good Bosses, some recreational alcohol consumption at a party

word count: 22k

a/n: vaguely inspired by that tiktok trend with the “ceilings” by lizzy mcalpine audio… if you know you know. this is so behind the trend lol it ended up so much longer than i thought it would be so a lot of this hasn’t been thoroughly read through i am sorry lol

You are twenty-two years old when you get the email - an offer letter that confirms your acceptance for an entry level office assistant position at Deku’s agency. And for someone like you who is in the final year of university and has been looking for a job to get a head start on your career, this is a very exciting opportunity.

Not only is it a foot in the door for the hero industry, a very popular and competitive industry for any young college student, but it is with Deku. The hero from UA, the one who has been destined for the top since he was a teenager.

According to the hiring manager, Deku is officially returning back to Japan after spending his first few years post-UA abroad in different countries. Different contract work with hero agencies worldwide. But now, with several years of experience under his belt, Deku has decided to return back home and start up his own agency.

It’s intended to start as a small agency, the hiring manager had explained to you, a small but multi-talented team who can take on different responsibilities. And you, young and enthusiastic, played up your retail experience and the tutoring jobs you took on during those earlier college years.

Clearly, you talked yourself up well because now you stand in front of Deku’s agency - a moderately sized building whose simplicity is reflected in the warm earth tones inside. Something in your gut tells you that this is the first page of a brand new chapter.

The beginning of your first day is slow and typical of any first day experience. You remeet the hiring manager who introduces you to your boss and your responsibilities, which will mainly involve managing the front desk and answering the phone and making appointments for Deku. It is a little overwhelming, but you mask that incoming anxiety with a determination to do well.

Your afternoon is spent filling out information for email accounts, taxes, and pay. The phone rings a few times, and your boss lets you know what to do based on the different phone calls. For a top hero agency, it’s surprisingly normal.

So normal, that you almost forget who you’re working for until he walks through the front door of the agency.

You look up and immediately feel your breath catch in your throat because holy fuck, it’s Deku walking towards you. It’s very strange to see the boy you’ve only watched through a laptop screen stand opposite of you. He’s much taller than you thought. His suit is more detailed, his hair more fluffy, his muscles more defined in person. It’s strange, seeing someone the same age as you hold so much power and confidence in a single stance. But his gaze is open, kind, and curious when he looks at you.

“Hi there!” he greets cheerfully, approaching your desk. “You must be the new office assistant! I heard you were starting today - welcome!! It’s nice to meet you!! Are you adjusting well?”

You blink, feeling like your brain is lagging behind to process the fact that pro hero Deku is even talking to you. Then, you realize that he has asked you a question. You close your mouth (one that you hadn’t even realized you opened) and try to string together a sentence. “O-oh, thank you! And I’m doing well… thank you, Deku.” You test out the hero name. It sounds so strange saying it out loud.

Deku laughs, a shy almost unexpected sound that makes something flutter in your chest. “I’m glad to hear that! And call me Midoriya. I’m glad to have you on the team!” His eyes flicker down, taking in the new lanyard you’ve received - it was part of your welcome package that is meant to hold your employee ID. “I can see you’ve already decorated your lanyard! I like your pin.”

Now you’re surprised for a multitude of reasons. Not only did he speak words to you, he’s actually continuing that conversation by noticing something you never expected a boss to notice. And he’s being sweet, warm, and welcoming.

You look down at your lanyard, bewildered as if you’ve never been a lanyard before, and see the pin you’ve haphazardly attached to the fabric. Glimmering on the metal is a character from your favorite movie - Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle. “Oh, t-thank you!” you manage, feeling warm, partly with embarrassment of having to explain a private interest, and partly because Deku actually looks genuinely curious in what you’re talking about. “He’s from this movie I really like. Howl’s Moving Castle?”

Deku ponders for a second. “Oh! Studio Ghibli right? I’ve never seen that one, but my friends introduced me to Spirited Away and I really enjoyed that one!”

“That’s a good one too,” you reply, losing enough nerves to actually feel your lips curve up into a small smile. Deku traces the movement quickly with his eyes. “That one and Howl’s Moving Castle are probably some of my favorites.”

He nods approvingly. “I’ll have to ask my friend to show that one to me someday.” He gets distracted momentarily by his phone, picking it up and frowning. “Ah, sorry, I have a meeting to get to,” he explains, putting the phone back down. “But it was really nice meeting you.”

Your smile grows a little, your head bowing a little to see him off. “It was nice meeting you too. Midoriya.”

He mirrors your smile, likely proud that you’re calling him Midoriya, before he walks towards the main office floor.

The phone rings before your gaze can linger for too long.

A full month goes by before you accept it. You have a crush on pro hero Deku.

To be fair, it’s hard not to have a crush on Midoriya. He’s just so open and sweet, thoughtful and considerate - a little shy, but reassuring enough to make you feel safe with just one smile.

Honestly? It’s a little infuriating. After all, Midoriya is… well, he’s pro hero Deku!! He’ll help old grandmothers cross the street and save a truck from falling off a bridge and then tackle a villain the size of a building all within the same day. He carries so much greatness, so much power, yet so many expectations on just one pair of shoulders. You see it on the news, in the meetings you have to schedule for him. Everyone wants a piece of him.

It’s harder now since he’s just starting up as a pro hero in Japan. There are things he must do, cases he must solve, and people he needs to save in order to climb that ladder and establish himself.

But still, despite himself, he stops by your desk every day. Either at the beginning of your shift or towards the end. He’s always had a busy day - you can tell as much because you help manage some of his appointments. Yet he never shows his exhaustion. He comes by, same bright smile, always asking about your day and chipping away at your apprehension.

It gets to the point where you’re comfortable enough finally sharing some interests with Deku rather than brush it off every time he tries to ask. You talk about the movies you like, the music you listen to, the dinner you cooked last night. Deku (Midoriya, you remind yourself time and time again) is always attentive.

So, again, how could you not have a crush on Midoriya?

And, to be fair, he doesn’t do much to quell that crush or fan the growing flames of affection you have for him. When he finds out that you really like that boba place thirty minutes away from the office, he starts bringing you a cup once a week. You try not to overthink the fact that he knows your exact boba order- down to the percentage of sugar you prefer. Or when he finds out you really like that Thai restaurant around the corner and starts bringing you your favorite when he knows you forgot to pack a lunch.

It’s sweet. Midoriya is sweet, dangerously so. Considering you often only see him drop off food and drinks for you, it makes you wonder if… perhaps, he feels the same way.

But a small, reasonable voice in your mind reminds you of a very important consideration: Deku was your boss. More than that, he was your boss’ boss. The big boss, if you will. There’s no way he could feel the same way, just from a moral standpoint. And even if you weren’t overthinking anything - a boss dating his employee? The scandals just write themselves.

It’s another two months before you learn to leave your feelings on the backburner and write it off as nothing more than a puppy dog crush. Lots of people probably have a crush on Midoriya, you think bitterly, it doesn’t make you special and it definitely doesn’t warrant a crush back.

Besides, you continue to think, Midoriya could have anyone he wanted in the country. In the world. There’s no way he’d settle with a measly secretary. He’s just doing these things because he’s a genuinely nice person - and it’s just convenient for him to make sure you’re eating proper meals and drinking proper (as proper as boba can be you suppose) drinks.

It is officially four months that you’ve been working for Deku’s agency when you stay late for the first time. You’ve started taking on more responsibilities that take the form of helping organize paperwork and writing up data analytical reports for Deku and his small group of sidekicks.

On the one hand, more work is great because it means your boss trusts you enough to handle important tasks. But on the other hand, it is stressful. Your perfectionist tendencies are not lost on you as you spend some extra time ensuring that a report is thoroughly. That means that by the time you are done, it is considerably later than your normal departure time.

Your boss and other colleagues must have left during your autopilot drive to get everything done because the office is mostly empty by the time your brain catches up to the outside world. The exceptions are the janitor taking out the trash and the night shift sidekicks who are either getting ready for a nighttime patrol or are currently sitting at their desks. They say their goodbyes as you pack up to leave for the night, coat on and everything, before you head towards the building entrance.

Only to find that it is pouring rain outside.

You stop short, taking in the rain pittering and pattering onto the sidewalk and the roar of rainfall filling your ears. Normally, you don’t mind rain. But the fall is too heavy to walk through unscathed - a fate that looks inevitable for you considering you forgot your umbrella.

You’re in the middle of wringing your hands together, debating whether or not you should just go for it, before you feel the agency doors open behind you. Then, a familiar voice calling your name.

It’s Midoriya, looking bewildered at the sight of you. “What are you still doing here?”

You blink back, equally as surprised. Last you had checked, Midoriya should have been long gone by now. “What are you doing here?” you quip back.

“Well, I, uh, had to approve some of the reports my sidekicks wrote up before sending them to the police,” he explains, scratching at his hair. “But late nights are normal for me. I’ve never seen you work late before.”

His inquisitive look leaves you warm with embarrassment. “I-I just wanted to make sure those data analytical reports were perfect before sending them for approval.”

Midoriya ponders you for a moment, but he ends up smiling. “I appreciate you working so hard. I hope you’re planning to go home. Or at least planning to eat something.”

You smile back sheepishly. “Guilty. I’m gonna go home- I have groceries that need to be cooked.”

“Can I walk you to the station?” he offers, flashing his All Might umbrella towards you.

You laugh. “Cute umbrella. And sure, that would be nice Midoriya.”

He watches you for a moment. “Do you have an umbrella?”

“Oh!” you laugh again nervously. “No, I forgot mine at home. But it’s okay.”

Midoriya looks momentarily troubled at your predicament, but he smiles easily enough. “It’s okay! Here. We’ll share mine.” He opens up the umbrella and holds it over both of you.

You still and immediately turn warm at the thought of sharing an umbrella with Midoriya. It seems too intimate of a situation to be in, all things considered. “O-Oh, don’t worry about me.”

“How could I not?” he retorts, surprising you by wrapping an arm around your shoulder to bring you close. Though hesitate, your arms encircle his midriff. For the umbrella, you tell yourself, as you gaze up at Midoriya. He’s staring back down at you, gaze unreadable.

A moment of doubt fills you. Was this too much? Self-conscious, you loosen your grip around him. But Midoriya tightens his hold, making you stop.

“You okay?” he asks, voice soft.

You manage to nod your head. Totally okay, more than okay. “Peachy,” you say, allowing him to lead you down the sidewalk towards the station. All the while, you do your best to ignore how romantic the gesture looks to people on the outside.

You reach the station within a ten minute walk, all while bunched up together like any other normal couple. Midoriya insists on making sure you’re underneath a solid roof before removing the umbrella. Untangling yourself from Midoriya feels like the real world has resettled itself on your shoulders.

So you take a breath, readjusting your backpack. “Thank you for walking me, boss.”

He grins sheepishly. “No worries. I just have to make sure my employee gets home safe.”

He’s trying to play along, but it feels a little like this cold wave of reality has just washed over you. You just try to manage with your best smile. “And some people have the nerve to say you’d be a terrifying boss.”

Midoriya laughs. “You’re right. They should be saying I’m downright jolly.”

That makes you laugh. “What are you, Santa Claus??”

Another short round of laughter, before you pull yourself together enough to stop and look at him. He’s looking back at you, that crinkle of laughter in his eyes - which doesn’t mean anything. It means nothing at all.

You look away first, fidgeting with the straps of your backpack. “I should go. Thanks again Midoriya.”

You still don’t look at him as he replies. “You’re welcome,” he says.

Without another word, you walk away.

Your ten month anniversary at Deku’s agency is around Christmas time, where the nearby shopping districts get taken over by holiday lights and festive trees of red and green. The weather gets colder, the days get shorter, and the work gets harder. Especially when most of your assignments consist of summarizing the events of the year. There are a lot of days where you are just trying to gather information.

It’s busy enough that you almost forget about the agency holiday party, scheduled just two days before Christmas. You only remember because your marketing specialist friend (Karly) volunteers you to help with decorations.

For The Most Wonderful Time of Year, it is rather stressful to make orders for the tree, the wreaths, the lights, and the Santa’s that are scattered throughout the office.

The day comes fast. Two days before Christmas, Deku’s agency is filled with laughter and chatter. Per the rules of the night, everyone is dawning their ugliest Christmas sweater and are currently partaking in the borderline alarming amount of alcohol that was brought. After all, the white elephant gifts have been exchanged, the toasts have been made - all that’s left to do is drink.

You’re no exception, as you have now found your way outside onto the balcony with a cocktail in your hand and a warmth in your cheeks. Being outside is nice considering how hot your body feels right now. You close your eyes as a nice breeze brushes against you.

That is how Midoriya finds you. “There you are!” he exclaims, closing the sliding door behind him as he steps forward to join you. “Been looking for you.”

You turn around to face him, eyes wide. He was… looking for you? “What for? Did you need something?”

He stops next to you. “No, no, nothing serious. I just wanted to say you did a good job with the party.” He grins, cheeks also a little rosy from drinking. “Everyone seems to be having a good time!”

You smile. “I’m glad. I would never have thought planning a party would be so stressful. But a part of me is glad I got to be in charge of it.” You glance at him, feeling unusually bold. It must be the alcohol. “Otherwise I would never get to see the great Deku in his Christmas sweater.”

True to your words, Midoriya is dawning an All Might Christmas sweater - the brightest shades of blue, yellow, and red that you’ve ever seen. It’s cute. Horrifyingly so.

Midoriya does a little pose that makes you laugh. “I mean, you could have seen this anytime. You just needed to ask.”

The remark makes you still because was he implying he wanted to discuss his interests with you?

The internal struggle leaves you a little winded, unsure how to respond to such a statement. “Is… is that so?” you reply softly. “B-But,” you stammer awkwardly. “I’m sure there are other people you could discuss your All Might collection with?”

Midoriya hums softly, resuming his position next to you against the balcony. “Like who?”

You shrug, trying to play it off casually. “I don’t know. Your girlfriend?”

He laughs gently at that. “Who is this girlfriend you speak of? She doesn’t exist here.”

Despite his behavior, it is a little surprising hearing that Deku doesn’t have a girlfriend. Especially considering that he looks the way he does and has literally been called Japan’s Sweetheart on numerous occasions.

You don’t feel too nervous at being called out like this. It definitely has to be because of the alcohol. “W-Well, I just figured. Someone who looks the way you do should have no problem finding someone.”

“Your confidence in me might be misplaced,” Midoriya returns. He turns to you. “Would you believe me if I told you that I have relationship problems too?”

“You? Having problems with women?” you joke. “Enlighten me then.”

He takes in a small breath. “Well,” he starts shyly. “Hypothetically, there’s someone that I’m interested in. Someone who I would think is smart, funny… and pretty.” There’s a weight in his words that settles heavily on your heart. “But… the problem, scientifically speaking, is that us being together would be inappropriate. I would never want this person to think I’m taking advantage of my position to manipulate them. And even if we were able to go out, I don’t want this person to be viewed negatively. I don’t want people to think she has been doing well or that she even got a job because of my personal feelings. After all…” he gaze drops to your lips for a moment. Your stomach clenches a little. “This person is a really hard worker. And I would never want to take that away from them.”

You wet your lips. “That does sound like a predicament, Mr. Deku.”

He smiles, albeit a little sadly. “I suppose…” he starts. “That if this situation was real, it could definitely be seen like that.”

You nod. “Right. Hypotheticals.” You take in a breath. “I guess you and I aren’t so different.”

He glances at you. “Relationship problems?”

You shrug. “Hypothetically, I could have problems.”

Midoriya laughs, playing along. “Right. Of course.”

“Let’s just say,” you start slowly. The alcohol buzz is starting to wear off. But you’re already neck-deep into this interaction and it’s too late to back off. “There’s this guy. He makes me laugh, looks out for me, and has never made me feel insecure. He’s patient, smart, and thoughtful - someone that I really admire, and someone I like a lot. The problem, hypothetically, would be that there’s a gap between us. Not an age gap or anything crazy but more just… the kind of gap where us dating would make him look bad. And he’s a good guy, who doesn’t deserve that kind of speculation.”

You dare to spare a glance at Midoriya for the first time since you started talking. He’s looking at you like it’s his first time seeing you - eyes wide and lips parted. But there’s some uncertainty in his eyes. Like he doesn’t want to jump to conclusions on who you’re talking about. You understand that. After all, his own situation could describe anyone.

But he turns towards you with eyes open and vulnerable. And you are rooted to your spot, helpless to do nothing but watch him watch you. You watch as he steps closer, feel as he reaches out to grab at the bottom hem of your Christmas sweater and thumbs at the material. As if he is giving you permission to turn away.

When you don’t, his fingers snake upwards to touch your hips. “It seems,” he breathes out softly. “We’re both a little stupid, aren’t we?”

You exhale as his hands settle. You feel warm with something decidedly non-alcoholic. “So stupid…” You want to just close your eyes, lose yourself in Midoriya as you’ve wanted to do for the past few months.

But.

Your hands find him, your fingers curling around his wrist. It takes a lot of (obvious) effort to pull him away. “Wait,” you whisper. “W-We just talked about how this isn’t right. And I don’t want you getting in trouble for this.”

His eyes search yours, but he squeezes your waist once before relinquishing the grip. “You’re right,” he returns, smiling a little. “There’s a lot of alcohol at this party. Makes me do things I shouldn’t. I’m sorry.”

You shake your head. “You don’t need to say sorry. Only if you don’t mean it and you don’t really like me.”

His eyes have not left your face. “I do mean it. I do like you, a lot. I’m just sorry that it has to be like this. If things were different…”

“I know,” you whisper. “But I… care about you. And I don’t want people to think you’re the kind of guy who’ll date an employee. Especially since you’re back and trying to establish yourself as a pro-hero here.”

Midoriya laughs, but it’s not meant to be a humorous noise. He reaches out, thumbing your cheek one last time as if to commit the gesture to memory before he pulls away. “I don’t want us to pretend like this conversation never happened, but I hope that we can still be… friends.”

Despite the unexpected turn of events (at a Christmas party of all places), you warm slightly at all how well he’s taking it. Not that you expected him to take it badly. And that, above all, he considers you a friend. “Of course,” you reply. “That’s what I want too.”

The pair of you stare for another long moment before someone is sliding open the glass door of the agency that leads to the balcony. It’s Karly, calling out your name.

You and Izuku look away, the moment gone. “I’m out here, Karly.”

Said marketing specialist appears from the shadows, cheeks bright red from rose much like everyone else. But she stops short when she notices the two of you. “Oh! I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?”

“No,” Midoriya cuts in quickly. He’s not looking at either of you. “We’ve finished our discussion.”

Deciding to leave him alone, you nod towards Karly. “Well, some people are asking about the cake…”

“Oh!” you exclaim. “That’s right. I know where it is.” You turn towards Deku. “Will you be okay?”

You mean it in two different ways. Deku looks at you like he knows what you mean. “Yes, I’ll be fine.”

You make your way back into the party, refusing to think about what happens next.

What happens is a quiet next few months. Midoriya becomes busy with joint patrols, an onslaught of photoshoots, and general paperwork. He still comes by your desk when he happens to be around when you are around, but the interactions are safe and surface level. It is a warped version of what you and Midoriya would call friendly conversations.

While you miss the deeper conversations, you’re also guilty of not bringing up anything that could bring you back to that night. The fear of uncertainty gnaws at you, afraid of what could happen if you were to cross that threshold with Midoriya.

Like you, Midoriya is also good at maintaining that friendly facade. He thanks you for your hard work on your one-year anniversary, allowing your boss to take you out for dinner. He signs a company congratulations card when you graduate from university and officially become a working adult.

And you’re thankful that he’s willing to… move on, you suppose? Perhaps avoid is a better word. It’s hard to smile and laugh with Midoriya when you’ve spent the better part of your employment at Deku’s agency wanting more.

Despite those things, that isn’t the reason why you’re here now. “Here” being the corner coffee shop on a random Saturday, laptop open with a whole listing of hiring hero agencies displayed. Some of the reason is that awkward limbo with Deku, yes, but most of it has to do with the desire for a full-time job. Working part-time at Deku’s agency had been more of a necessity than a want, considering you had to work around a full-time student schedule.

But with graduation under your belt, full-time has become an option. While the hiring manager at the agency has been open to the conversation of offering you that full-time position, this feels like a rare moment of opportunity to branch out.

Besides, you think absently, there are a lot of good agencies hiring.

Quietly, you apply to a few of them, wondering if your experience at Deku’s agency and all the hats you had to wear as a result of working at essentially an agency start-up could impress some of these bigger agencies.

As it turns out, it does. Because over the next month, you garner the attention of Riot Ground. Again, quietly, you interview a few times before they offer you a position - one that will include working at a cubicle rather than a front desk and definitely involves a higher level of responsibility with a higher pay that you would be dumb to reject.

Your direct boss is supportive of the decision, understanding that this type of industry exploration is what you want for the next chapter of your career. It’s a chance, she says, you need to take. Additionally, she accepts your two week notice.

Telling Midoriya had been something you’ve wanted to avoid since Riot Ground offered you the position. In fact, it’s very possible that he already knows what is going on. It’s no secret that the Riot Ground agency and Deku agency are close - the leading heroes have known each other since high school.

But you decide to just assume that Midoriya doesn’t know what’s going on as you knock on Deku’s office door, taking in a breath when he tells you to come in. He’s finishing up some paperwork as you open the door, definitely looking appalled by your appearance. You hardly ever visit him, especially not since the Christmas party.

“Hey,” he breathes, closing his laptop. “Is everything okay?”

You smile a little, trying to stay professional. “Yes! Everything is good. I just thought I should let you know something that’s coming up.”

He frowns, but nods slowly. “Okay,” he says, a little confused. “What’s up?”

“Well,” you start. “As you know, since I graduated I’ve been thinking about getting into a full-time position. I don’t know any kind of end goal for myself, but I want the opportunity to grow my experience however. And wherever. So… I just thought that I should let you know that Riot Ground offered me a position. And I accepted. I start in a month, but I already submitted my two weeks.”

Midoriya is quiet for a moment, processing the ultimate conclusion to your words. Then, he laughs a little. Softly. “Kacchan… I mean, Bakugou told me that they had just hired someone from my agency. When he spoke about the new hire’s interview, I could tell he was impressed and excited to have that kind of person on his team. I just had a feeling that it was you.” He stands up, rounding the desk to lean against the front. “I’m really happy for you.”

You smile, relieved. Although you should have known to expect nothing less from Deku. “Thank you, Midoriya.”

But he does smile back, sighing a little. “I will say that I’m going to miss having you around. Getting to talk to you and see you at the end of a hard day always made things easier for me.”

Your heart picks up a little. You hadn’t expected him to use that kind of line on you. “I-I mean,” you stammer. “It’s not like I’m going off the grid. The agency is just a subway ride away. A-And, I’m still going to be in the industry. So we’ll see each other around at events and such… Besides, we’re friends.”

Friends. A delicate word to reflect on a delicate subject. And it shows in Midoriya’s eyes, watching you carefully. His eyes look you up and down, before he gives a half-smile. It looks like he has so much to say. But he eventually settles with, “Of course. We are friends.”

A long pause follows. The pair of you take each other in, until the sound of footsteps pass by Deku’s office and it brings you back to reality. You look away first. “I just… I thought I would let you know. As a courtesy.”

He nods. “I-I appreciate that. And I really am happy for you. Kacchan and Kirishima are good heroes, and they are good bosses too. I expect great things will happen with you on board.”

You laugh. “Midoriya, you are speaking way too highly of me. It’s just an entry level position, The amount of influence I’ll have is probably second to none.”

He shrugs. “So what? I believe in my friends - and I believe in you.” After a moment he clears his throat. “When is your last day?”

“About a week and a half from now,” you reply.

He nods slowly. “Got it. Well, thanks for letting me know.”

You leave work that night a little unsettled, wondering if you’ve made the right decision in telling Midoriya.

The last week and a half of your employment at Deku’s agency is quiet. Midoriya gets pulled into a job on the other side of the country, meaning he doesn’t get to see you on your last day. You tell yourself that it’s normal that a big boss wouldn’t mind one of his part-time interns leaving and try to make peace with it.

Midoriya is right about Bakugou and Kirishima. Despite being a little rough around the edges, Bakugou is polite and engaging. Naturally, Kirishima is warm and welcoming. Ground Zero is definitely a bigger agency compared to Deku’s up and coming roots - but the two heroes still take the time to greet you.

It isn’t long before you’re taking on your own assignments - but your team is nice and supportive and Kirishima even tells you that the recent report you handed in was good.

Two weeks after you start working at Riot Ground, Bakugou’s Vogue Japan article gets released and you are immediately pulled last minute into the afterparty preparations that Riot Ground is holding to celebrate. You’re more of a background shadow to provide support, but you are still invited to the party. Kirishima says you can think of your attendance as a rite of passage for your employment - one that you intend to take full advantage of.

The afterparty is hosted at the top floor of this insane skyscraper in the city center - surrounded by lights and music and drinking. You spend most of the early night with coworkers, those in the same department as you as you all talk and laugh and make sure that things are going smoothly.

This sense of ease is probably how you’re able to notice him before he notices you.

Your stomach drops when you see Midoriya, someone who you hadn’t seen since that last conversation in his office. He’s at the bar, talking to some girl with a surprising amount of engagement and focus that you stare.

You cannot help the sickly feeling weighing at the pit of your stomach - because you cannot remember the last time Midoriya talked to you like that. Actually, you can. It was before the Christmas party. Before you engaged in that game of hypotheticals with him. You’ve never regretted the way the exchange went down. But you have regretted the aftermath - the halted conversations, the surface level charades. Midoriya had said he liked you back, sure, but perhaps he only did nice things for you because he wanted something? And surely once he realized he was never going to get anywhere with you - he just gave up, didn’t he?

That’s stupid, you think to yourself, because Midoriya isn’t like that. He’s sweet and earnest. He doesn’t seem like the kind of person to just throw them aside when they are no longer of use.

But, the other side of you whispers, things haven’t been the same since that night at the Christmas party. Perhaps it’s not out of left field for you to be doubtful.

Across the way, Midoriya catches your eye and gives you a smile. You wave back half-heartedly.

He tilts his head, giving you a look you hate that you can read. Is everything okay?

You just give a shrug, turning back to your coworker before he could respond.

You assume it’s the end of that conversation with Midoriya. In fact, the next time you (subconsciously) try looking for him, he isn’t at the bar anymore but on the dance floor with Uravity and Shouto. You disappear into an empty hallway that leads to the elevators, sipping the drink (water) you’ve gotten and try to ignore that vague feeling of relief upon realizing that girl was nowhere to be seen.

You turn back to your water, perhaps waiting for it to drown you or give you answers to questions you are too afraid to ask.

That is, until a figure slides up next to you. At first, you think it’s some stranger coming up to bother you. But it’s Midoriya.

“You look lonely,” he comments. Despite the loud music coming from the main room just a few feet down, the hallway is insulated enough where you can hear him properly.

You glance at him. “What do you mean? I’m peachy-keen.”

He frowns, the first crack in his wall. “You know, people who say they are peachy-keen are usually the opposite of that. I just can’t help but notice that you’re here by yourself, and you’re drinking water.”

“I’m on the clock,” you reply.

Midoriya looks around for a moment, before turning to face you fully. “Is everything okay? Nobody’s bothering you, are they?”

You look at him this time. “It’s fine, Midoriya.” You jerk your head out towards the main room. “Why don’t you go reunite with your girlfriend or something?”

Midoriya blinks. “Girlfriend? What are you talking about?”

Your eyes narrow into a glare. “Don’t try to play dumb with me, Deku. I know that you saw me looking. She’s cute. Thanks for letting me know about that, by the way.”

“Oh, just like you told me that you were looking for a new job?” Deku bites back. Another crack in his game of pretend. He also seems annoyed you’ve addressed him by his hero name. “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s Uraraka’s manager and has been her manager since we graduated high school. We’re friends - just like I thought you and me were friends.”

You push yourself off the wall at that. “We are friends,” you protest hotly, defensive, not even sure if you believe your own words. “It’s just…”

“Just what?” Midoriya snaps, that friendly facade gone now. “Just the fact that I thought things would go back to normal after that night, only to get blindsided?” He runs a hand through his curls. “Listen, I was and am really happy for you that you got a great job with Kacchan and Eijiro. I just wish you told me you were planning to leave. That’s what friends do.”

“Well, why does it matter?” you retort. “A boss shouldn’t care too much if a lowly part-time intern decides to pursue a different agency for a different opportunity - !”

“But you weren’t just a lowly part-time intern!” he says loudly, then lowers his voice. His admittance echoes in your mind, making you run warm. Midoriya watches you carefully, as if waiting for you to dismiss him. When you don’t, he takes a step closer, rounding on you so that your back is against the hallway wall. “To me, it wasn’t like that. At first, it was. But I grew to really like you as more than just someone I saw at work everyday. I liked you a lot.”

You narrow your eyes at him, refusing to back down, remembering your doubts just a few moments prior. “Why does that matter now anyways? You clearly have more fun with that manager anyways.”

He groans, stepping closer, hands settling on your waist to push you against the wall. “What is this about? It seems like we’re mad about two separate things.”

You huff, trying to look away from him. “I’m not mad.”

He rolls his eyes. “Baby, your glare could cut glass. I can be single-minded sometimes. But I’m not stupid.”

You hate to admit it. But the pet name softens you up a bit. Enough that you turn your gaze back to Midoriya. “I was just frustrated okay?” you shoot back. “I was under the impression that we would stay friends too. But you were so distant after I told you I was leaving. You didn’t even say goodbye to me on my last day at the agency. I know you were away but… it still hurt me. And then I come to this party and see you for the first time in a month talking to some other girl. Not just talking - talking excitedly and happily. I just couldn’t help but overthink about why you enjoyed your time with her more than time with me.”

His eyes flicker between your eyes, but he relaxes after a moment. “I always enjoy my time with you,” he explains softly. “But I’m sorry. I should have spoken up when I noticed we were playing this game of just pretending to be alright. I think the thought of confrontation made me more nervous. And I’m sorry for not being there for your last day.”

You sigh. Perhaps hearing his apology is just what you’ve needed after all this time. “No. I’m sorry. It takes two people to have a conversation, and I was also not reaching out to communicate my frustration. I guess… perhaps, a part of me wanted to know what would happen with us. And if…” you trail off.

Midoriya raises an eyebrow. “If…” he coaxes, leaning in. When you don’t say anything, he smiles. “If I still like you?”

You pout. “You have no tact, do you know that?”

“I think the proper phrase is ‘relief knowing I can now openly communicate with the girl I’ve been crazy about for months’.” He pauses. “Unless you’re more of a show don’t tell kind of person?”

He’s teasing you. “I don’t know,” you finally manage, feeling warm all over. “What would showing me look like?”

At your question, Midoriya smiles again. Less of a teasing smile, more of a soft and understanding curve that makes your heart race. Your anger is completely forgotten as one of his hands gently takes your chin. “Probably something like this…”

He leans in. You close your eyes, heart thumping out of your chest - because was this really going to happen? Right here? Right now? And to think you were so mad at him just an hour ago…

A call of your name. “Oi, I know you’re out here - oh. Fuck.”

Midoriya pulls away, his grip on your chin and your waist gone as if both of you are ripped back to reality. You jolt, eyes flashing open and turning towards the source of the noise. Bakugou stands at the entrance of the hallway, lips parted and eyes wide and looking uncharacteristically startled.

“Kacchan!” Midoriya exclaims, glancing at you before glancing back at your boss. “We were just… This wasn’t a spur of the moment thing…”

Bakugou tsks, recovering quickly as he raises a hand up to stop Deku from spiraling into a flurry of conversation and tangents. “I didn’t ask, nerd. I just need my employee’s help with something.”

You try to recover as well, ignoring your racing heart as you turn towards Bakugou. “O-Of course, what do you need?”

You step away from Midoriya, but he catches your wrist in his hand before you can go too far.

“Hey,” he says, stepping up next to you, not speaking until you’re looking at him. “Don’t be a stranger. If I promise to call, promise you’ll pick up.”

You cannot help but just smile and nod. “Okay,” you return. “I promise.”

He beams, and releases the hold he has on your wrist. You walk up to Bakugou, allowing him to lead you back into the loud dancefloor.

“Bakugou!” you call out, feeling the need to fill the silence between the two of you despite the music and laughter around you. “Midoriya is nice! And I really like him!”

Bakugou grunts, whirling around to face you. “Shut up!” he retorts. “I know. The stupid nerd hasn’t shut the fuck up about you since he found out I hired you. So I don’t think you need to worry. He likes you a lot too.” He pauses. “Now can you please help Eijiro set up the champagne fountain?”

You grin for more than just the champagne foundation. You shoot your boss a thumbs-up before making your way back into the main party, definitely feeling better than when you first stepped in here.

True to his promise, Midoriya calls. And to your promise, you answer. It doesn’t take long for the pair of you to resume the same ease of connection that developed when you first met. Partly because you have all this history together, but also because the feelings have been put out there. The calls and texts continue without the worry of crossing past a boss/employee relationship.

Having Midoriya in your life like this is different. There’s still a bridge to cross with him, but there’s a different openness about this compared to pretending not to be so into him.

Now he knows how much you like him. And you’re waiting for him to take the next steps.

But, again, it’s a line neither of you cross for the next few months. Midoriya is busy with work, and so are you. Ground Zero keeps you on your toes with increased responsibilities and solo projects that are stressful yet accomplishing. Yet, every “good job” thrown your way feels like a different badge of honor that heightens your confidence. It feels like some of the things you’ve wanted for your life (a stable career with responsibilities you enjoy doing and coworkers you actually like spending time with) are starting to come together.

Although yes, you are in a predicament with Deku, you refuse to let that damper your attitude about your overall life trajectory. Things will happen when they are able to happen.

It’s a thought that comforts you. For the next few months following the Riot Ground party, you maintain a limbo with Midoriya. Until there is a pounding on your door at three in the morning.

You start awake at the noise echoing through your apartment, heart pounding and eyes suddenly alert. What time is it? The digital BT21 Koya clock on your nightstand reads 3:02 AM. Who is it? No idea. A handful of college students live in this apartment building, so it isn’t unusual to hear knocks at this hour. They’re usually short; this one is not.

The persistence of it drags you out of bed and towards the door. Is it the smartest way to go about this situation? No. It could be a villain with super hearing, waiting for you to make a noise!! Or perhaps people pretending to be maintenance just so they can break in?

God, you definitely need to stop scrolling through Tiktok.

You sigh, tiptoeing to the peephole on your door. You’re expecting drunk college kids, or people you’re supposed to ignore.

What you see, however, is neither of those things. It’s Deku, slumped against the wall, looking uncharacteristically tired and out-of-breath. Brows furrowing and eyes widening, you open the door with more force than necessary. “Midoriya!” you exclaim, lowering your voice towards the tail-end when you remember that it is three in the morning. “A-Are you okay? What happened?”

Midoriya looks over at you. His face is bruised slightly and you don’t even want to know what kind of injuries he’s hiding underneath the suit. What happened? When he texted you earlier than evening, he looked and sounded perfectly fine. His eyes rake over you from head to toe, before he sighs. “Oh good. You’re okay.”

You stare, trying to mentally decipher his words but find that you have no idea what he’s talking about. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

He closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath before he pushes himself off the doorframe. Quietly, he leans into your space and slowly cups your face with his hands. Midoriya follows the curve of your face carefully, committing each detail to memory.

Clearly approaching the situation normally isn’t getting into his head. He’s too shaken by what he has seen. So you stare up at him, trying to catch his gaze. “Izuku…?” you try.

That catches his attention. He shifts to look back at you. He sighs, pressing his forehead against yours. “It’s okay. I’m okay. It’s just…”

“Do you want to come inside?” you offer gently.

Midoriya nods, allowing you to pull him inside the apartment. You make it to the living room, where he drops himself unceremoniously onto your couch. Despite his disheveled appearance, he is watching you carefully and looking more alert than before.

You look back at him, continuing to assess his condition. What happened to him? Did he need to see a doctor? You try to echo one of those thoughts. “Are you okay, Midoriya?”

He blinks. “I liked it…” he starts.

You move to sit on the couch. “You liked it?”

“You called me Izuku,” he clarifies. “I want you to keep calling me that.”

You sigh, eyes slanting into more of a frown than the wide-eyed concern from before. “Are you drunk?”

He looks away, rubbing at his face. “No, I’m not.”

“Well, do I have to drive you to the hospital?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“I’d have to disagree. A Midoriya… I mean Izuku,” you correct when Midoriya gives you a look. “An Izuku who is normal wouldn’t come barging in at three in the morning looking like he’s just seen hell.”

He doesn’t say anything to that, which worries you more. Well, if he doesn’t want to go to the hospital and he’s not drunk, you turn to the next best solution.

You move to get off of the couch. “Let me get you some water.”

“Wait.” His hand catches your wrist. He’s not even pulling you that hard, but his touch leaves you rooted to the spot. “J-Just stay here, if that’s okay.”

You settle back on the couch, trying to catch his eye. Yours widen slightly when you realize that his eyes are glassy. Was Midoriya crying? “Hey, Izuku…” you start, sitting closer to him. “What’s wrong?”

He looks up for a moment, before looking back over at you. “Can I…” he trails off. “Can I just…” When you don’t flinch away, he takes that as a sign. He wraps his arms around your waist, scooping you up and plopping him on his lap with your knees on either side of him. Straddling him, you let him manhandle you. You let him press you to him, chest to chest, and a hand at the back of your head to press your face into his neck. He noses at your hairline slowly.

“Izuku,” you whisper, voice muffled into his suit. “Tell me what happened.”

Midoriya takes in one more deep breath, before he loosens his grip enough for you to pull back and see his face. “I was finishing up my patrol when a group of villains ambushed me. That part was normal, since it’s the middle of the night and maybe they thought they could get away with it? Everything was fine until I saw you. One of the villains used his quirk and made me see something that really shook me up.”

Considering that he’s here, hugging you like he’s trying to merge with you, you think you have a vague idea of what he could have seen. But you refuse to be self-centered. You gently fiddle with the hair at the back of his neck. “What did you see?”

He doesn’t look at you as his fingers run over the hem of your sleeping shirt. “You showed up, and they took you away. No matter how far I ran, I couldn’t catch up. I couldn’t save you. Luckily, some of my sidekicks showed up so they didn’t get away. But I couldn’t stop thinking about what they had shown me. I just had to make sure you were okay.”

You exhale, not realizing you had held your breath during Midoriya’s story. At the very least, this explains his frantic behavior. “It’s okay,” you whisper. “I’m here.”

He sighs, moving his hands to your waist. “It’s not okay though,” he returns, looking at you. “I think not being able to talk things out with you has freaked me out, thinking that I’ll miss my chance and lose you.”

“You won’t lose me,” you say quietly. “I really like you.” You relax slightly in his arms. “We don’t have to talk about us right now but I don’t want you to rush into anything with me. I know that you’re here to protect people and you’re trying to establish yourself. I don’t want to get in the way of that. I don’t want you to spread yourself too thin.” You look down, suddenly nervous. “When this becomes something, I’m going to be a little selfish. I don’t want to feel like I’m coming in second place. I want everything that you’ll give me, and I want to feel like you’re always going to choose me. I know that in itself is selfish, but I just want to be upfront with you.”

One of Midoriya’s hands comes up to cup your cheek. He angles himself to meet your gaze. “Don’t ever call yourself selfish like it’s a bad thing. I want you to be selfish because I always want you to myself.” He starts mindlessly stroking your cheek with his thumb. “I want to be honest with you too. I can’t promise you that I can respond to texts within the hour. I can’t even promise that I’ll be on time for every date. But I’ll always consider you. And I’ll always choose to come back to you.”

Overcome with helpless affection for him, you cannot help looking down at his lips. Suddenly, you’re aware of what you’re wearing and what you’re not wearing. Your sleeping attire is just a Riot Ground t-shirt you got from a team-building event during orientation and some loose shorts. Your lack of a bra is the most obvious.

Judging from Midoriya’s darkened eyes, he knows this.

A pause. Then he brings you down to him, kissing you softly. Time seems to melt away as you shut your eyes and allow yourself to get lost in him. You can feel Midoriya’s grip tighten, pulling you closer as little uncontrollable whimpers fall from your lips.

Without warning, you feel yourself get hoisted up again. One hand around your waist, one hand hooked around a leg as you are maneuvered onto your back. Above you, Midoriya is steady and comforting and warm. He stares down at you like it is his first time seeing you. The sight sends jolts of anticipation through your body.

On instinct, your arms find the back of his neck as he leans down to peck your lips once, twice, thrice more before starting a trail of butterfly kisses down your neck. He stops at the base, nipping and biting. It tickles, causing little giggles to escape you as you twitch occasionally at the overwhelming sensation.

Midoriya hums, lifting himself back up. “So sensitive,” he mutters.

You pout, tighten your grip on the back of his suit. “Is that okay?”

He smiles, leaning back down to touch your nose with his. “More than okay. It’s perfect. You’re perfect. Want to keep going?”

You cannot help but smile back, heart beating helplessly in your chest. “Yes,” you whisper, nervous but knowing that you trust him more than anything.

So Midoriya kisses you again, his hands move to your waist to inch your shirt up higher and higher. He kisses down your stomach, fingers gripping the waistband of your shorts. “Is this okay?” he asks softly.

You nod, realizing after a moment that he cannot see you. “Yes, yes, please Izuku…”

You stare up at the ceiling as he pulls your bottoms down, exposing you to the air outside. It doesn’t stay unoccupied for long before he’s diving in between your legs, licking and sucking at spots that make you see stars.

And when he curls up with you later that night under the blankets, refusing to let you go as you giggle and complain about needing the restroom, your heart is high with hope. Hope that perhaps it’s finally time for you and Midoriya. That perhaps, the game is finally over.

The following day, Midoriya shows up to the Riot Ground agency. He had left early that morning, leaving behind a text apologizing and promising to make it up to you later that day. You hadn’t been entirely sure what making it up to you would entail, but you just told him you were looking forward to it.

It’s a little bit before your lunch break when Bakugou comes stalking towards your cubicle. You’re still on the phone with the guys at HEROES MAGAZINE when he approaches, but he’s surprisingly patient as he waits for the call to end.

You hang up after a few more minutes of last minute confirmations. “Everything okay?” you ask, redirecting your attention to Bakugou.

He grunts, crossing his hands over his chest. “You have a visitor. Real insistent about seeing you.”

You tilt your head. “Who is it?”

He sighs, unfolding his arms. “Come on.”

Nervously, you follow Bakugou into his office. Inside, you find Midoriya sitting on the couch. He’s talking to Kirishimia, but all the attention shifts to you as soon as you enter. Midoriya’s face lights up. “Hey!” he greets cheerfully, standing up to approach you.

You let him, unable to help but smile back as the memories of last night fill you with warmth. The fact that those events were real and tangible still baffles you. “Hi, Izuku…”

He scratches the back of his neck. “I really am sorry about having to leave after… yeah. After that.”

You laugh, forgetting that both of you have company. “It’s fine. I know you’re busy. You’re here. That’s what’s important to me.”

Midoriya smiles, actually looking relieved at your reassurance. “I’m glad…”

From what sounds like miles away, Bakugou interrupts with a laugh. “Oh my fucking god.”

You turn to look at him. “Something wrong boss?”

Bakugou is still smirking. He looks between you and Midoriya like he knows something you do not. He, however, makes it clear with his observation. “You guys finally hooked up, didn’t you?”

Immediately, your heart feels like it’s racing on overdrive as your entire body runs hot. “H-How did you… I mean, it’s just… I don’t…”

Midoriya’s cheeks turn pink. “Kacchan, we’re in a workplace - can’t you keep things professional?”

“Professional?” Bakugou echoes, smirking. “You have a lot of nerve saying that to me, Deku. Especially when the two of you are all googly-eyed right in front of my salad!!!”

“Oi, Katsuki,” Kirishima interrupts, getting up from the couch and walking over to slap a hand on Bakugou’s shoulder. “I think it’s cute. Go easy on them.” Kirishima shifts his attention to you and Midoriya. “So, what’s this? You guys just hooking up? Or boyfriend and girlfriend? No shame either way!! I think it’s great that we live in a society where every stage and every kind of relationship has an appropriate label.”

The overall question makes you want the ground to swallow you whole. This is especially the case because you and Midoriya haven’t even discussed what this is yet. What if you answered and it wasn’t the answer Midoriya had in mind. Or would staying silent be the better option? Should you already know what kind of relationship you’re in with Midoriya? You know you talked things out yesterday but was making an assumption going too far?

Your silence makes Kirishima smile. “I mean, there’s also no shame in being undecided. As long as you guys are communicating.”

Midoriya wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close. “I’m actually here to invite you to dinner tonight,” he says, pointedly ignoring his friends and their teasing smiles.

You smile nervously, unsure whether or not to go along with Midoriya. You decide for it eventually. “Sure. I get off around 5. Can I meet you someplace?”

He shakes his head, looking at you with stars in his eyes. “No, no, I’ll come pick you up.”

True to his promise, Midoriya is in the lobby of Riot Ground. He gives you that same bright smile, takes your hand. The restaurant he’s selected for the two of you is a few stops away, and he fills any silence with questions about your day and conversations like this is any normal day. Not at all like you’re about to go on (what you would consider to be) a date with Midoriya.

It’s a sentiment you feel confident enough to echo once the pair of you are seated next to each other in the booth. You notice quickly that he’s taken you to a ramen shop you’ve mentioned enjoying once or twice. The realization draws out a happy, private smile.

At your observation of this date, he mirrors your grin. “I’m glad we’re on the same page about this. It makes me feel less nervous about telling you that… last night?” He asks like he needs to make sure you know what he’s referring to. Like you need a reminder. But you nod, because Midoriya seems nervous. “That was all real to me. I know dating me would be challenging. But I really like you and I want to be with you. I hope that doesn’t freak you out.”

Detecting his nerves regarding the subject, you reach out to take his hand. “Izuku, it doesn’t freak me out. I also mean what I said yesterday. I really like you.” You feel yourself go warm with meekness. “Although, I thought it was obvious that I wouldn’t freak out no matter what you said. You did spend the night, amongst other things… I don’t do that with guys I don’t like.”

Midoriya laughs softly. “I just didn’t want to make any assumptions.”

You nod. “Well, cease your worries. I am thoroughly into you.”

Since you’re not rejecting his advances, Midoriya grows bolder. “So… can I do this…?” He laces your fingers together.

You smile. “Yes,” you whisper, looking over at him.

He moves closer, still wearing that fond grin. “And when I drop by the agency, can I tell Kacchan that I’m visiting my girlfriend?”

Your smile morphs into a grin, but there are butterflies in your stomach. “You should probably be a little more professional around your Kacchan.”

He pouts at that. “What if it’s for something important?”

You gap slightly, unconsciously inching closer to him. “What could be so important with you and your new girlfriend that you need to visit her workplace?”

He smiles at the question, eyes flickering down to your mouth before he leans in to kiss you. It’s firm and quick, startling you enough to elicit a squeak from the back of your throat. But he pulls away before you can relish in the gesture.

When you open your eyes, Midoriya is still looking at you. You can feel the weight of his answer in his stare, making one very firm decision: you were going to suck his dick on the car ride home.

Nearly one year later, the hero rankings are announced on a bright sunny afternoon.

You are in your now shared apartment when the broadcast starts. When Midoriya is announced as the new number one hero. It’s a big moment within the hero community; not entirely unexpected considering the anticipation of Deku’s return and what he has been able to accomplish since then. It’s a moment that garners big cheers as Midoriya takes the stage alongside the other top ten heroes.

You watch as each top ten hero makes a speech about their appreciation and their promise to continue protecting the country. As Midoriya makes his own speech, your heart feels light with pride and joy.

It’s a feeling that continues into the late afternoon, when you’re fitting the bed with newly washed sheets that you hear the front door open and slam shut. “Baby?” It’s Midoriya. “Baby, I’m home!!!”

You immediately come bounding out of the bedroom, dashing towards the entrance where Midoriya is slipping off his shoes. “Welcome back!! Congratulations on your ranking, Izuku!”

At once, he sweeps you up into a hug, bringing your feet off the floor and your laughter in his ear. “Thank you,” he whispers earnestly, setting you back on the floor. He kisses your cheeks, spoiling you as if you were the one who has just ranked as the number one hero in the country. “Did you watch the broadcast?”

“Of course!” you say, giving him a look. “It’s a big deal, Izuku.”

He pulls back enough to send you one of his soft smiles. “Thank you.”

You shake your head, cupping his cheeks. “How do you want to celebrate, Mr. Number One?”

“Well, Uraraka is hosting a party later today to celebrate the new rankings. But…” he trails off, turning meek. He leans forward, nose to nose. “Kind of want to eat you out. Is that okay?”

Your stomach flutters. His hands move up your shirt, touching at bare skin. “W-We should do something for you.”

“You letting me eat you out is the something for me,” Midoriya returns, removing his hands to start messing with your shorts. He pulls both shorts and panties down, lowering himself down to let you step out of them. He lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he traverses down the hall back into your shared bedroom. Gracefully, Midoriya lowers you amongst the pillows.

One, two, three more kisses along your forehead, cheek and lips, before Midoriya makes his way down your body. Lifting your shirt over your head, planting two kisses on each nipple, down your stomach, immediately wrapping his arms around your legs to keep them apart. A kiss on your clit melts into a lick that makes you choke on a whimper.

Midoriya has always been good at eating you out. Ever since that first night, he is keen on prodding at the spots that drive you to the edge the quickest, or dragging things out as long as he wants to. It’s that scary observational skills from his line of work getting put to personal use.

And you’re not complaining.

In the fifteen minutes he spends in between your legs, you come three times. You’re shaking, gasping, overwhelmed by the time he lifts his head up with his lips shiny with juice.

You’re still trying to catch your breath as Midoriya undoes his belt, takes out his cock. He runs it over your slit once before pushing in past the ring of muscle. The sensation makes you jolt, crying out as you arch and push at his chest. “Izuku… wait.” Your walls flutter, causing Midoriya to sputter. “I just need to catch my breath.”

You take a few deep breaths as Midoriya thumbs at your hip in apology. “Sorry baby, I should have asked first.”

You shake your head. “No, it’s fine. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” Midoriya leans down, kissing your ear and down your neck, nipping gently at your collarbone.The gesture, while ticklish, helps relax you enough to reflect on the events of the day. You’re not sure how long it is before you speak again.

“Hey, so since you’re the number one hero now…” you start once you feel like your head has cleared up enough. “You’re probably going to be a whole lot busier. Lots more people are going to be looking at you and relying on you. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted…”

Saying the words out loud makes a new kind of reality dawn on you. How would you fit in this equation of Midoriya’s newest accomplishment?

“Hey.” Midoriya’s voice draws you back. His head lifts from your neck, locking you in an intense stare, hands planted on either side of you. “I don’t know what exactly is going on in that head of yours. Just because I’m the number one hero now doesn’t mean that I still don’t care about you. It doesn’t mean that I’m suddenly going to stop considering you. I’m number one to the country, but you’re number one to me and that’s what is important.”

You pause, letting his words sink in. You giggle. “Izuku, that was super cheesy.”

“And what of it?” he purrs, using your giggle as the okay to readjust you. He takes your ankles, repositioning them over his shoulders. He leans in, bringing your legs to your chest, sinking deeper into you. The sensation makes you whine, arching your back and curling your toes.

“Mmmm,” you whimper, unable to do anything else but lay there and take it.

“Do you understand now?” he asks, pulling out until the tip and thrusting back in. “Do you understand how much I love you?”

As if it wasn’t hard enough answering his question, he’s hitting something in you that makes it difficult to think. “Fffuck, Izuku… yes…”

“Then, you think you can say it back to me, pretty girl?” He straightens up, keeping one of your legs on his shoulder as he increases his pace. His grip on you is strong, while his other hand starts drawing tight circles on your clit.

You start fluttering around his cock, unable to move away from the simulation. So you try to push at his chest in warning. “Izuku… wait…”

“I don’t know if I can, baby,” he says, almost disappointedly. “I can’t let my girl walk around not knowing how much I care about her.”

“I do know…” you whimper, shaking when he finds the right angle to rub your clit. “Aaaaaa… I know how much you love me.”

You can hear the smile in his voice. “Good girl. Wanna say it back?”

He releases your other leg so that both fall on either side of his waist. Midoriya looms over you again, never once letting up his pace. “Say…” you manage, tongue feeling like jello. “Say what back?”

He hums. Still circling your clit, he runs his other hand up over your curves, palming your breast. “Say you love me back.”

“I love you - !” you squeal as he pinches a nipple. The coil in your stomach snaps, and white hot pleasure runs through your body. You shudder, tightening and fluttering and gasping. You weakly whimper as Midoriya continues to drive into you, your breasts bouncing with the movement. It stops when he gives you one last firm thrust, letting out a groan of his own that is so hot your walls flutter at the noise.

The high of what you’ve started together starts to die down as the silence is filled with your gasps and his panting.

Midoriya drops himself next to you, immediately wrapping his arms around you and nosing your hairline. “Hey,” he whispers.

“Hmmm?” you hum, content and still trying to catch your breath.

He doesn’t speak until you look at him. He leans in, touching his nose to yours. “I love you too.”

You try hard to bite back a grin. “Still want to go to Uraraka’s party?” you ask quietly.

He groans against your neck. “Not really.”

You giggle. “You should!” you scold. “It’ll be fun. You’re the number one hero now. Don’t you want to celebrate with your friends?”

“I’d rather just celebrate with you,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

You roll your eyes playfully. “We just did. C’mon!” You push yourself off of bed, whirling around to face him. “I’m gonna pee. We’re going to shower, and then go.”

Never able to say no to you, Midoriya sits up on the bed and climbs out after you. “Okay, okay, baby. We’ll go.” Without warning, he hooks his arms under your knee and under your back, lifting you up and carrying you to the shower - the sound of your giggles filling the air.

The party is in full swing by the time you and Midoriya arrive at Uraraka’s house. Midoriya still has that post sex glow in his cheeks. It makes him clingy to you as you enter. The man at your side is immediately greeted by everyone, both friends and fans. It makes it easy for you to peel yourself away from your boyfriend, finding shelter in the living room.

There, you find Bakugou at the couch, nursing a drink in his hands.

Finding comfort in the sight of a familiar face, you approach him. “Bakugou! I didn’t think you’d show up.”

He gives you a sideways glance. “I wasn’t,” he says. “Eijirou said I should, so people can see that I’m supportive of Deku taking over the number one spot. Like I give a shit what people think anyways.”

You take a seat next to him. “I think you care a little bit. I know how much having that number one spot meant to you. Buuuutt,” you say, trying to lighten the mood a bit. “I think it could be seen as good, friendly competition. What do you think? Gonna start working double shifts to get your spot back?” you ask teasingly, grinning playfully at Bakugou. The latter is surprisingly quiet.

Bakugou gives you a grin that doesn’t reach his eyes. “I knew it was only a matter of time,” he gruffs. “I really do hope as his girlfriend, you’ll never have to see this. But Deku? That nerd is crazy. Back in high school, during the war, he became this self-sacrificing maniac and acted out on his own. It’s a version of him I haven’t seen since then, but it’s a trait that never really went away. Deku lives to give back,” he mutters, so quiet that you wonder if you’re meant to hear him or not. “That’s why people gravitate towards him. It’s hard to compete with someone who would so willingly trade his happiness for others without hesitation.”

Bakugou’s eyes find something. You turn, following his stare to see Midoriya chatting it up with other pro-heroes. The latter looks bashful, but proud - he blends right into this world you are only just now starting to adjust to.

I hope you’ll never have to see it.

You watch as Midoriya’s gaze finds yours, waving when he smiles at you, trying not to ponder too deeply into Bakugou’s words.

Despite your wishes, you spend some time thinking about Bakugou’s observation. It’s true. Midoriya is a giver. He gives and gives and gives, hardly ever taking anything in return. He rarely asks to take time off, asks you to take care of him, and rarely ever thinks about himself.

A year after Midoriya becomes the number one hero, you start to see what Bakugou had meant.

It starts small. So subtle that you don’t even notice it at the time. It happens on a random Thursday night, when Midoriya stops kissing you hello after coming back from the office. It’s something you don’t even notice at the time. You had just continued cooking dinner, oblivious to what that simple missing gesture would spiral into.

Then, he misses a lunch date. Texts about his whereabouts and any villain appearances on the news are non-existent, until you find out that he just got caught up on paperwork and simply lost track of time. He apologizes later that evening, promising to make it up to you. And he does. He brought flowers home the next day and took you out to dinner. So you forget about the incident, assuming that it was a one-time thing.

Only, it isn’t just a one-time thing. He misses a few more dates, and doesn’t even tell you he’s coming home late one evening, before you decide it’s time to prod. Gently though, because you aren’t a confrontational person.

It happens late one night, because Midoriya stops taking days off, when both of you are in bed. Midoriya still wraps one arm around you, using his other hand to scroll through his phone.

“Izuku, is everything okay?” you ask softly, almost nervous to question it.

He looks at you, smiling uneasily. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“N-No reason. I was just wondering if you’ve been more busy than before. It’s just that you’ve been coming home later and later. Not to mention that I know that you know there have been a few dates we need to catch up on…”

Midoriya lowers his phone, pondering your words as he wraps both arms around you. “I know, baby. I’m sorry about that. You know, I didn’t realize just how many cases the police are working on at any given time. Big-case villains, small-case villains, missing people reports… so as the number one hero I’m trying to help out as much as I can.”

You look over at him. “You’re working with the police to solve all those cases?” you try for a smile and a joke. “No wonder you’ve been so busy.”

He grins, not noticing the fake smile you’ve plastered on your face. He’s looking at you, but it feels more like he’s looking through you. “People out there need me.”

You touch his cheek, trying to root him back to you. “Well, I need you too, Izuku.” You try to sound lighthearted, but something heavy plants itself in your heart.

At that, Midoriya’s eyes really do focus on your face this time. He cups your cheek. “Baby, I’m right here. Always.”

Are you really? It’s a thought that your mind whispers to you softly, challenging you to say it. But you cannot rise to the task. You don’t say anything that night. You just nod, hugging him and thinking: this is the last time I’ll have to say this.

Unfortunately, life does not work that way. It finds a way to topple down all around you. Not only does Midoriya remain busy, but you get promoted at Ground Zero’s agency. You move from a cubicle into your own office along with a clusterfuck of new responsibilities.

The next few months feel like one thing after another. Every attempt both you and Midoriya make falls flat. You plan a birthday party for Midoriya, only to fly out on a impromptu business trip hours before. Midoriya makes reservations for the grand opening of this fancy sushi restaurant, but ultimately stands you up because he fell asleep on the couch. He tries to come home early to surprise you, but you’re out buying groceries for the week.

Conversation between the two of you becomes as nonexistent as the plans you try to make. What were once joyful exchanges about the past or eventful tales from your jobs become surface level questions about the weather or if either one of you were going to be home for dinner - with the answer typically being no. It feels like another game of pretend with Midoriya - only this time, you’re pretending like this relationship is on the right track.

Everything comes to a headway on a Tuesday morning. Midoriya is out of bed and out of the apartment. Typical. You didn’t even hear him come in last night (or early this morning). But you notice a text message from Kirishimia at six in the morning. Less typical. Urgent meeting at the heroes commission. Turn on the news when you wake up.

The headlines jump out onto the screen as soon as you turn on the TV.

DEVASTATING EARTHQUAKE STRIKES. TOP OVERSEAS PRO HEROES REQUESTED FOR REINFORCEMENTS.

The footage is horrible. Buildings toppled down, rubble everywhere. People digging through. Children screaming. All the things of nightmares, not unlike the disaster you remember from your childhood - from the Liberation War all those years ago.

It’s footage that continues to be displayed over social media and over the city as you get ready for work and take the subway to the office. It’s still there when you turn on the TV in your office when you show up to work.

“It’s horrible,” Roni, your friend from the finance department, mutters, arms crossed over her chest as she joins you to watch. “The hero commission is probably trying to figure out which heroes to send over and which ones need to stay here in Japan.” She turns to you. “Any news from Deku?”

The mention of his name makes your stomach churn. Truthfully, you haven’t spoken to Izuku, really spoken to him, in weeks. You don’t even remember the last time you existed in the same space together. You clear your throat. You check your phone with a weight in your gut, knowing that there won’t be any messages.You hate that your suspicions are confirmed. “Nothing.”

He’s probably at the same meeting as Bakugou and Kirishimia, along with all the other top heroes.

It is a few hours of tense silence in the office. Both for the fate of which heroes will travel abroad and if your bosses will be part of that departure.

The aforementioned bosses return a few hours later, confirming that they will not be sent away. As part of the top five pro-heroes, they are tasked with staying. “Because some others at the top volunteered to leave. The commission wants to make sure at least some of us are still here holding down the fort,” Kirishima clarifies.

You wring your hands nervously. “What about Deku?” you ask.

Bakugou is noticeably quiet, something you pick up on. “You should go home,” he says instead. Then, he trails off into something softer. “That damn nerd doesn’t know when to stop.”

Your eyes widen, your heart picks up, and you leave. You practically race home to your apartment, to your home.

Izuku is packing when you arrive.

You slam the door. “What the fuck are you doing?”

For a moment, your Izuku peaks through the cracks. He jolts, looking startled and wide-eyed. But when he realizes that it’s you at the door, that facade disappears. You are facing Pro Hero Deku now, the hero who has just volunteered to fly away from here, away from you. “My flight is leaving soon,” he says, returning to packing.

“You’re leaving,” you echo. “Just like that?”

“You saw the news, didn’t you?” he challenges. “Those people need me. I have to help them.”

“Without asking me?”

He pauses. “This isn’t something I need a second opinion on.”

You clench your teeth together, trying to swallow the hurt. You’ve heard the stories from Bakugou about Izuku during the Liberation War - about Izuku barrelling headfirst into tracking down All For One alone, without his classmates or his support system, without regard to himself. His warnings suddenly feel like a lifetime ago. “A second opinion?” you bite. “I’m not a fucking doctor, Izuku, I’m your girlfriend. I thought we were a team. Shouldn’t I have a say in this?”

He throws his clothes on top of the ones he has already folded in. “What is there to say? How do you expect me to stand aside when I have a way of helping these people? How could you understand, when you don’t have the power I do.”

Ouch. You never thought he’d pull that card. Just because you don’t have a flashy quirk doesn’t mean that you don’t want to help people, it doesn’t mean that you don’t care. But your anger turns into sharp words that leave your lips without warning. “Fine,” you snap. “Do whatever the fuck you want. You’re really good at that.”

He glares at you. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know anything!” you protest loudly. “Don’t pretend like you haven’t been home in weeks, because you haven’t been here. Not really, anyways. Did you know this is our first conversation in days? But not just that. You’ve been standing me up, ignoring me for months. I thought we could eventually talk about this when things at work quieted down. But things have quieted down. All the other heroes, all your friends, are having date nights and friend nights. But you aren’t. You still aren’t here with me. You just stay out there, taking one police case after another.”

“You knew what you were doing when we started going out,” Izuku snaps back. It’s like you’ve both been holding back on each other, only waiting until now for the dam to break. “I’m the number one hero now. My quirk comes from All Might, and so do his responsibilities. I can’t always be here.”

It’s all coming out now, you think vaguely to yourself. The anger is overpowering the hurt you should be feeling. “I know that, and I’m not asking you to always be here,” you say sharply. “I’ve always said that I just want you to consider me and care about me. But I can see that something like that is impossible for you to do.”

Stop, your mind whispers. Anyone with eyes could see that Izuku cares. He cares more than anyone else on the planet. That’s why he’s here. That’s why you’re here. That’s why you’re in love with him, and that’s why it hurts so much.

“You’re right,” he finally speaks hollowly. “How can you expect me to neglect my job? Because that job, and the people that need me…” he pauses. “Are more important than what’s here.”

The next words you were planning to say die down in your throat, as you both are left alone in the silence of what you’ve just said to each other. What is there to say after all that?

That’s when the hurt settles in, the insecurities threatening to swallow you alive. You know that you’ve also said some terrible things, but the knowledge that Izuku has confirmed your worst fears renders you mute. That you, for all the love in your heart you hold for the man in front of you, will always see you as second place in his life.

“Fine,” you whisper, refusing to see the empty look in Izuku’s eyes. Not like you can see it anyways with the tears fogging up what’s in front of you. “Go do whatever you want. Save the world just like you always have, Deku. But you should know that if you get on that plane, I’m done. If you get on that plane, it’s over between us.”

You remember to grab your keys off the counter before walking out the door.

You don’t know how far you walk, or for how long. The nighttime bustle ignores your sulking as you continue down the sidewalk. You pass by night clubs, convenience stores, other apartment buildings - but none of those matter. All you know in your heart is that this might be the end of you and Izuku. And the last thing he would remember you saying is that he doesn’t care.

You stop in your tracks. How could you say something like that? Izuku is the number one pro hero because he cares, and he has been a consistent source of comfort in your life because he cares. Was it really okay for you to give him such an ultimatum when you never said you could make him choose between work and you? Maybe you can return back, apologize, and try to talk things out. Perhaps he didn’t mean what he said, just as you didn’t mean what you said.

You run back to the apartment. Had you walked further than you thought? Your lungs burn with air, your legs ache as you run up the stairs, and through the front door. “Izuku?” you call out. “Izuku, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I said those things…”

But the apartment is quiet, empty of Izuku and his immediate belongings. He’s gone.

How could he just leave? Izuku may be petty, but never aggressive when upset. Especially when something as big as this serves as a roadblock to your relationship. Especially when you don’t know when you’ll see him again.

On instrict, your hand goes to your back pocket to check your phone but it’s not there. You pat yourself down a few times, but come up to the same conclusion. No phone. Did you have it with you when you left? You swear you left the office with it in your bag.

Your bag. It was thrown by the door upon first arrival. You tear into it, rummaging through laptop, files, notebook and planners before producing the damn thing. The screen lights up.

9 missed calls from Izuku <3

Izuku <3 (6:03pm): the driver is here. I wish we had more time. I’m sorry for what I said. I’m sorry I have to get on this plane. But people need me. I can’t just stand aside.

Izuku <3 (6:03pm): I hope we can talk soon

The lump comes back and doesn’t leave. It makes the tears come fast and hard, the gasps leave your throat as you throw your phone somewhere faraway before curling up against the door. Because are you not someone he cares about? Don’t you deserve to have help from him?

You bring your knees to your chest, feeling the bitter loneliness stronger than you’ve ever felt before. You always knew that Izuku was a hero above and beyond. The pair of you have been dancing around each other for as long as you’ve known him. You really assumed that things would be alright once feelings were sorted out and Izuku showed up that night all those months ago, promising a commitment to you. But you were naive. Feelings were not enough to enact the selflessness needed to love a hero.

Just before you fall asleep that night, you vaguely remember crawling onto the couch. Your body carries a heavy weight that lots of tears usually bring, along with a sore neck and back. You sit up feeling groggy and tired, immediately searching for your phone. Although the intention is to check the date and time, you still feel disheartened when you notice Izuku has not called or texted since his previous message.

You do, however, have some texts from Bakugou.

boss bakugou (9:46pm): Hey, call me when you get this. I should have told you about the nerd, but thought it was better you hear it from him. Hopefully everything has worked out.

boss bakugou (9:46pm): Or whatever. I don’t give a shit what happens to you two.

boss bakugou (9:46pm): I’m mostly kidding.

boss bakugou (11:02pm): Did Deku leave????

You blink, reading the messages many times over because your tired mind cannot process it normally. You debate reading the message, or just ignoring it and also skipping work while you’re at it.

you (6:34am): he left

Your fingers hover over the keyboard.

you (6:40am): it’s over

You should know that Bakugou would be awake at this time.

boss bakugou (6:42am): Still want to come into work?

A part of you doesn’t want to. But a tiny part of you whispers that you should.

you (6:54am): of course

Despite your reassurance, there is a numbness that comes with hopping into the shower and washing away the messiness of yesterday. Because no matter how long you stand underneath the water, you cannot wash away the words and feelings.

Because was this really the end of you and Izuku? He really did leave, finalizing everything with his choice - picking the world over you. Implying that you aren’t as important as his job and the people who need him is a bold claim. It’s not something one can just make up on the spot and not mean.

Getting dressed is harder than you thought. You have to put some spoons in the refrigerator to help with the puffiness of your eyes. You have to step into your bedroom for the first time since Izuku left to gather some clothes. For some reason, the reality of what exactly you’ve gone through with Izuku doesn’t hit you. It makes you numb, sure, but it feels like these are problems someone else is going through.

Someone who is not you, as you leave your apartment and somehow manage to find your way to the Riot Ground agency.

Kirishima and Bakugou are in the lobby of the building as you enter.

You aren’t going to speak first, and the heroes in front of you seem to know that. “The nerd really left?” Bakugou asks.

You really thought you wouldn’t cry, especially after crying last night and determining that you were fine enough to work. But somehow, external forces bring up the feelings and the lump in your throat returns. You tuck your hair behind your ears, internally cursing as tears start gathering in your eyes. “Well,” you start, unable to help the way your voice catches, the way it breaks. “He made his decision clear last night.”

“Man, he was just like this when we were kids,” Kirishima grumbles. “Always putting others before himself. I just never thought he’d do that to you.” He looks at you. “I’m really sorry. I hope he didn’t say anything stupid. He was going a little crazy during that meeting.”

“He…” you gasp a little under the weight of your tears, hoping that neither Kirishima nor Bakugou will comment on it. “He said… our relationship wasn’t important.” You sniff. “I mean… I also said some mean things. But… I really… didn’t think… he’d leave without saying… goodbye.”

Bakugou wordlessly passes you a tissue while Kirishima guides you down the hall into his office. Neither of them press you for details as you sit in front of Kirishima’s desk, trying to calm down.

“Deku isn’t thinking about himself right now,” Bakugou says quietly once your gasps have died down and the tears have stopped. “When he sees that people need him, and he knows he can help, he’ll self-sabotage himself. That doesn’t excuse what he said, but he likely isn’t thinking clearly.”

You nod slowly, not sure if you’re acknowledging Bakugou’s words or just trying to get a handle on the overall situation. “I don’t know what to do,” you whisper.

Kirishima nods. “It’s a lot to handle. And you don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for.” He shakes his head. “I’m not sure what anyone would do after hearing words like that.”

What would be the next step anyways? A text from Izuku first implies that perhaps moving the conversation along falls onto your shoulders. But what is there to say? Hey Izuku, I know you said this isn’t important to you and you left for another country for an undisclosed amount of time even though I said our relationship was over if you left. Anyways, how’s it going?

So rather than think about it - you wait, wondering if the right moment will ever come.

And you wait.

But you never seem to find the words to say.

Midoriya Izuku is away for a year and a half.

Your phone remains empty of his texts, his calls, or his love for the entire time. But you see him everywhere, especially on the news where the world is praising him for yet another save. Whether it’s digging people out of the rubble, or helping other countries with villain cases, or teaching society how to rebuild their communities after disasters.

He’s in his element. His tinge of sadness is probably the knowledge that he couldn’t save everyone, you think to yourself. Always watching him on your phone, or on your laptop when a breaking news notification comes up.

You’re sure he’s happy with his choice. After all, a year and a half with no contact is quite telling about his decision. Yours too, because you never mustered up the courage to ask how he was doing. You never talk to him.

Yet, you hear about him enough. Not just through the news, but through your boss and colleagues. It’s hard to avoid your pro hero ex-boyfriend when you work in the hero industry and so happen to have two bosses who have known the aforementioned ex-boyfriend since high school.

For the most part, both Kirishima and Bakugou don’t mention Izuku. They keep their opinions to themselves with everyday that goes by. They didn’t say anything when you started showing up to work without the necklace Izuku had given you, when you removed the matching phone charm, or when the couple's picture you had framed on your desk went into the trash.

It’s a line, however, that Bakugou crosses when you give him a box of Izuku’s things - the things he didn’t bring abroad with him like his extra sweaters, books, his favorite All Might mug, and that aforementioned necklace. “Listen,” Bakugou had said. “I know things have been hard for you, having to see that nerd’s face everywhere. But I’m sure it’s been rough for him. Why don’t you give him a call?”

“What is there to say?” you had returned softly.

Bakugou had rolled his eyes. “How about you start with saying sorry? I’m sure he also feels the same.”

You didn’t know how to respond to that. Would sorry be enough to make up for what you said? Would sorry be enough to make up for what he said? Would that be enough to repair the underlying issues of your relationship?

It’s a quiet year and a half. You move out of that old apartment, into a newer but smaller one. You work, eat, and sleep. You see friends on the weekends and watch dramas on the weekdays. Eventually, you stop watching the news every night. You stop getting notifications about Pro Hero Deku on your phone, which is why it comes as a big surprise when Kirishima approaches your office on a random Friday morning. He leans against the doorframe, folding his arms across his chest.

“He’s coming home.”

Your stomach drops without meaning to. A name doesn’t need to be uttered for you to know who exactly is coming home. You continue typing out your email, doing well to ignore that feeling inside of you. “Is… is that so?”

Kirishima nods, eying you worriedly. “The repair efforts are finally done. Deku refused to return until he knew everyone was okay.”

Of course he would, you observe. “I-I’m glad to hear that,” you muster softly.

Out of the corner of your eye, Kirishima is still watching you. “Ochako and Iida are hosting a welcome back party for him. I wasn’t sure if you’d be interested…”

“Probably not,” you say, eyes not leaving your screen. “But thanks for the invite.”

Kirishima makes a noise. “Hey, I think that Katsuki and I have been as hands-off as possible about you and Izuku - but don’t you think it’s been long enough? Why not just talk about your problems instead of avoiding them?”

You look at him for the first time since he stopped by your office. “I’m not avoiding anything,” you point out. “Midoriya said what he needed to say. I said what I needed to say. Besides,” you look back at your screen. “It happened. He’s moved on. And so have I.”

Kirishima walks until he’s standing right next to you. He leans back against your desk. “You’ve moved on, huh? Even more reason to go, right? That’s what a friend would do, isn’t it? Support your other friend who is returning home after a year?”

“He has plenty of other friends,” you retort. You’re not even sure what you’re typing out anymore, but it’s better than looking at Kirishima. He’s likely disappointed in your decision. “He wouldn’t miss seeing me.”

Your boss makes a noise of protest, but doesn’t say anything. He ends up leaving for an upcoming meeting, saving you the trouble of his further pestering. Not ever seeing Izuku again, you decide, would be the best option.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t turn out that way. Because three weeks after Midoriya Izuku’s alleged return, there is a knock on your door.

And you, expecting a package, opens the door. Your stomach drops. “I-Izu- I… Midoriya!” you choke out, your heart suddenly feels like it is launching itself into the sun. Your stomach doesn’t fare well either. You swear it feels like it’s being wrung dry. Your mouth opens and closes a few times, eyes flying all over him as if trying to make up for the year and half you haven’t seen him in person.

He’s different. His hair is a little shorter. It still has that curly texture at the top, over his forehead, but is that an undercut in the back? Oh dear. Today he is wearing jeans and a sweater with SWEATSHIRT in typed kanji. Well… some things are still the same. His eyes are still that deep forest green color. Today, they are sad. But they are wide, also looking you up and down like he is seeing you for the first time.

“Hi,” you exclaim after realizing neither of you have spoken words for a concerning amount of time. You try to ignore how distant, how light your voice sounds. You eventually manage to close your mouth. “Sorry, I…” Your thoughts are scrambling. “I was expecting a package…”

He seems to have found his voice. “O-oh!” he returns, holding up a box towards you. “That must be this. It was by your door.”

You try hard not to look at him as you reach over. You cradle the package, glad to have something to distract you as you fiddle with the edges. The first time you’re seeing Midoriya in a year and a half, and you are uselessly mute. You do open your mouth, but only to say something stupid. “Seems like the pro hero stuff didn’t work out, if you’re a delivery boy now.”

Midoriya blinks, quiet, and you curse yourself.

You close your eyes for a moment, opening them to look at him. “Sorry, that was stupid to say.”

He tries to smile. But it’s soft, sad, and doesn’t reach his eyes. You hate that you notice right away. “Not at all. C-Can I come in?”

You inhale slowly, tucking the package behind your back as you open the door wider for him. “Sure.” You watch carefully as he enters your apartment. He leaves his shoes on, but lingers at the entrance.

His eyes take in the new apartment. “I like the new place.”

“Thank you,” you say. You place the package on the small table near the door. “Midoriya… what are you doing here?”

He whirls around. “I’m actually here on business. Kacchan asked me to pick up some damage report.”

“Oh!” That was unexpected. It’s hard to tell if it’s unwelcomed or not that Izuku actually has a reason for showing up. It’s also hard to tell if Bakugou was actually too busy to come over himself. But it seems like a waste to ponder on that. “Oh, yes. That. I can grab that for you right now.”

You walk further into the apartment. Midoriya does take his shoes off this time to follow you. “Sorry for just showing up, by the way. I probably should have called you but…”

You start digging through your work backpack. “Why are you apologizing?”

“W-Well,” he stammers. “I know Kacchan sent me here on official business but… I don’t know. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m crossing a boundary or anything. I know Kacchan gave me your address, but still.”

Perhaps he is overstepping. For a moment, memories of his neglect, of your words, flash through your mind. But where you once felt hurt now feels distant and foreign. “Not at all,” you reassure, producing the file and looking up at him. “I mean, we’ve always… been friends, haven’t we?”

If Midoriya is bothered by your question, he doesn’t show it. He smiles again. Yet, once more, it does not reach his eyes. “Yeah. Of course.”

The silence feels like something dangerous. Izuku looks deep in thought, and it makes you panic. So you cover the distance and extend the folder towards him. “Here you go.”

He takes it. “Thanks.” A pause. “So, uh, how have you been?”

You rub your hands, definitely giving away the nerves. “I’m alright. Still working at Riot Ground, which is nice. I actually have to manage people… which is fun, but also nerve-wracking because there’s a team that relies on me to distribute tasks and be on top of everything.”

“Well,” Midoriya starts. “You’ve always been really organized, so I’m sure you’re doing great. Kacchan and Eijirou always have nothing but praise for you.”

You nod in agreement, not really thinking as you open your mouth to continue the conversation. “It’s nice that you kept in touch with them while you were away.”

You shut your mouth but it is too late. The words have already been spoken, and you regret it at once. Why? You were content playing pretend, just as you assume he had been - but now you’ve gone and opened your big mouth. Even worse, you forgot to run your thoughts through that filter in your brain.

Well. Not much you can do about this now. You’ve threatened the fragile peace of pretending, and now there is not much you can do independently. You pause in your movements, refusing to look at Midoriya. Instead, you stare at the wall behind him.

But it seems like you underestimate his kind nature. He doesn’t rise to the bait. From the corner of your eye, you see his nod. “I talked to them occasionally,” he starts softly. He pauses, long enough that you look at him. He’s staring back. “I just wanted to make sure things were alright back home.”

Your eyes widen, lips part. What exactly does he mean by that?

Your silence reads like an open invitation for Midoriya. He steps forward, opening his mouth - !

His phone rings, startling both of you out of whatever trance you were pulled into. You look down, shuffling. Midoriya jerks back, face shuttering before pulling out his phone. “K-Kacchan,” he grumbles.

Noises on the other end of the line. Bakugou, likely reprimanding him for taking too long.

After a moment, he jolts. “A-ah, you’re right! Sorry Kacchan. I got the files, I’ll head back over soon. No! No… there was no trouble. Okay.” He hangs up, looking at you. “That was Kacchan. I, uh, I should go.”

You nod. “Uh, yeah. No problem.”

He moves to make his leave. You follow behind just to see him out, but he turns around before he can leave. “Hey, so. Since I’m back… don’t be a stranger, okay? If you need anything, I’m here.”

Oh, a tiny voice whispers in your heart, fuck. He’s really continuing this game of pretend.

Valid. Izuku has never been good at confrontation. Neither have you, so you give your best attempt at a smile. “Thank you… Midoriya.”

His fingers twitch, but leaves soon after.

Pretending that you were always just friends with Midoriya is strange, but unsurprisingly normal considering your history with him. Now that he’s back home, his unexpected visit to your apartment seemed to enforce something: he’s willing to fake it as much and for as long as you are.

It starts small - hesitant texts he sends sharing something from patrol that remind him of you. Texts that transition into asking about your day, or inquiring about a show you mention. Naturally, you are hesitant to return the effort. But a small part of you, the small part that is soft on him, is elated that he is back and actually wants to talk to you.

“Of course the nerd would still want to be friends,” Bakugou scoffs. “You clearly don’t know your own boyfriend that well.”

“Ex,” you interrupt sharply. “Ex-boyfriend. And sorry I don’t have years of experience handling Midoriya like you do. Usually, when things end badly with an ex, ignoring each other is the bare minimum most people expect.”

“Well,” he snaps back. “You idiot. Deku isn’t like most people.” He quiets down when he sees the guilt on your face. “What are you going to do now? I heard you were invited to Todoroki’s party.”

That is true. Shouto himself extended the invitation to you through a text message you were surprised to get. After all, most of your friendships with the Izuku’s old classmates have slowed down a fair amount post breakup. In general, you’ve never been too big on attending gatherings of any kind. But since you and Izuku have reunited (i.e., you guys are just playing house rather than actually talk), it leaves you (once again) in a gray zone.

You settle with just trying to stay aloof. “I was invited, yeah.”

Bakugou glares at you. “What? You’re suddenly playing coy? You going or not?”

You shrug. “I don’t know!!”

He rolls his eyes. “It’s just a party. It’s not rocket science.” He pauses. “You should go.”

“What are you, my consciousness now?” you retort hotly.

“Okay, fine,” he spits. “Go. Or don’t go. And deal with a paranoid Deku who is stupid sometimes but not stupid enough to know when you’re avoiding him.”

You glare at Bakugou for a little longer, really hating how smart he is in spite of his brashness. You’re not really sure you can handle a confrontation with Midoriya right now, and you know that he’ll try to ask questions if you don’t show up. Especially because you know that he knows that Todoroki invited you himself.

“Fine, fine. I’ll go just for Todoroki,” you say, defeated sigh and all. You pick up your phone to look at the time. It’s 4:30, almost time to leave work for the day. “I’ll go home first to drop my stuff off then head over, I guess.”

“No,” Bakugou snaps, grabbing your work bag from the corner of your office. “I can see your tricks coming from a mile away. I’m not leaving you on the off-chance you’ll go home and pretend to be sick. We’re leaving now.”

“No, wait, BAKUGOU!” you exclaim, frantically trying to shut off your electronic belongings and gather the items on your desk that need to go into that work bag. “This doesn’t even involve you, why do you care so much?”

Bakugou whirls around in the doorframe of your office. “Because if that nerd tries to talk to me about you one more time I will blow his face off. We’re going.”

You try to act as if Bakugou’s words have lit a fire of meekness inside of you as you follow him out of the office. “A-Are you sure we need to leave now?” you fight weakly. “K-Kirishima isn’t even back yet!”

“Shitty Hair is patrolling until later today. He’ll be late,” Bakugou explains, practically shoving you into his car. “Besides, the sooner I get there, the sooner I can leave.”

You huff. “Your intentions are definitely in the right place there, Bakugou.”

He sneers at you, before turning up the radio and leaving the two of you in silence. It’s a bit of a drive to Todoroki’s house. But in Bakugou’s presence, you’ve never felt the need to speak words to fill the space. He’s enjoyed the quiet as much as you. However, today the quiet fills your mind with questions. Was it really okay for you to be at this party? Would your presence make things awkward? Was Midoriya going to be there?

Bakugou pulls up to Todoroki’s house soon, located in a quiet wealthy neighborhood away from the city. Despite the wealth that you feel in the air, Todoroki’s house is rather discreet and combines modern architecture with a traditional style. It’s beautiful - you’re simultaneously flabbergasted and impressed by how rich Shouto Todoroki is. With the high bamboo and trees, you almost don’t notice a gate on the property, unlocked by a code that Bakugou knows by heart. There’s a sizable driveway, filled with a few cars and a familiar figure that makes your heart both sing and drop.

Midoriya is in what you assume to be his car, scrolling through his phone. His gaze lifts when he sees you and Bakugou pulling up. For a brief second, his eyes widen when looking at you. But by the time Bakugou parks and you’re hauling yourself out of the car, that glint in his eyes is gone. He’s also out of his car as well, walking over to meet you halfway.

You immediately write that previous look off as nothing. Instead, you smile and wave as you approach Midoriya. “Hi Midoriya, did you just arrive?”

He smiles over at you. “Yeah. I was just answering a couple emails before you guys arrived.” He glances over at Bakugou with a look that is surprisingly… pensive? “Hi Kacchan.”

Bakugou grunts in greeting as he immediately starts making his way to Todoroki’s house.

You cast one last look at Midoriya, who is already looking at you. Feeling the awkwardness start settling in, you turn and follow after Bakugou.

There are more people at the party than you originally thought as Todoroki opens the door to greet you. You weren’t sure what to assume, only knowing that Shouto Todoroki is a relatively private person - but there is his entire class from the UA hero course and people you can only assume to be his family. Additionally, there are people you recognize from his agency - sidekicks and his manager, who (thankfully) you know.

Besides that, you are completely on the outside.

Perhaps this wasn’t the best idea.

Still, Bakugou’s warning about Deku is too prevalent to back away from. Besides, you think bitterly, you yourself had said it best to Midoriya. You’re friends.

You see Midoriya entering the house right behind you, and immediately make a beeline down the hallway. In your mind, the excuse is that you need to use the restroom. But asking Todoroki himself would subtract the ten minutes you’re banking on to find it. You’re not sure how long you’re going to be at this party. But every minute away from an unfamiliar crowd would be best.

You do manage to find a bathroom at the end of the hallway, telling yourself that no one is out there wondering where you are as you fix up your appearance in the mirror.

When you open the door, Mina is on the other side. She appears to be looking for something, until she sees you and you realize she’s looking for someone. For you.

She exclaims your name, bounding towards you. “I thought I saw you!!”

You shouldn’t be surprised that Mina is here, but your heart feels a little lighter knowing that you know another person. While dating Midoriya, you’ve had a few lunches or general hangouts with his old classmates. Everyone was always very friendly in that ‘this is my friend’s girlfriend’ type of way. From your memory, Mina was the someone who treated you more like a friend rather than Midoriya’s girlfriend.

“H-Hi Mina,” you manage, trying for a small smile. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” she says, mirroring your smile. “How about you? I… heard what happened.”

“O-Oh really,” you reply, going stiff.

“Yeah, from Izuku. I didn’t know right away that you guys had… broken up,” Mina explains. “I was also sent overseas after that big earthquake. But I’m sure it must have been challenging. Frankly, Izuku is an idiot for what he did!”

You soften slightly. “Well… I wouldn’t say he’s an idiot. I think he just had to do what he thought was best.”

Mina smiles. “You’ve always been so nice and understanding. I’m glad to see that you’re doing well though! We should celebrate that.”

You blink. “What do you mean?”

“By letting me get you a drink, of course,” she exclaims, taking your wrist and dragging you back down the hallway. You catch Midoriya’s wandering gaze, but ignore him in favor of Mina taking you to the kitchen. She boasts about the soju and sake that Todoroki let her bring before the pair of you take a couple shots together. It leaves you warm, fuzzy, giggly, and prone to wandering around.

Eventually, as Mina gets caught up in her own group of friends, you find yourself in the backyard of Todoroki’s house - the shishi-odoshi hitting the rock and bamboo echoing in the quiet night, the sound of your shoes crunching against the sand underneath your shoes. Todoroki has a little bamboo garden in the corner, fixed with a bench and other flowers whose color reflects off light from the house.

Still cradling the mix Mina had poured for you, you take a seat on the bench.

It feels like you’re sitting there for hours before you hear shoes crunching against the sand. You jolt, whirling in your seat and heart dropping when you see that it’s Midoriya himself making his way towards you.

“M-Midoriya,” you stammer, tearing your gaze away first and staring down at your drink. “Did the party get overwhelming for you too?”

He’s quiet as he takes a seat next to you. “Sort of,” he answers vaguely. “I also noticed that you weren’t with Mina anymore. I guess, I just wanted to see where you were.”

You look at him. “You… knew I was hanging out with Mina?”

He looks back at you. “Of course. I remember that you guys would talk whenever you hung out with my friends. Did you have a good time with her?”

“Y-Yeah, we were just catching up,” you return, laughing softly. “I know it may look like it, but I wasn’t avoiding you or anything.”

“You sure?” Midoriya asks. “Because it felt like every time I tried to look at you, maybe get a hello in or something, you would look away or run away.”

Your hands suddenly feel wet and nervous. “M-Midoriya…”

He sighs. “And that’s another thing. You don’t call me Izuku anymore.” He looks sad again. “I thought we were friends. But you call me by my last name and you avoid me and you…” he trails off, seeming to try and hype himself up for something. “Are you with Kacchan?”

You blink, taken aback. “Am I what?”

He gets nervous again. “Are you… dating Kacchan?”

“No,” you reply dryly. “I’m not with Bakugou. He just drove us straight from the office. You of all people should know that I wouldn’t date my boss…” you cut yourself off, looking back down and frantically trying to figure out a way to end this conversation. “You know,” you say, just speaking words at this point. “You don’t need to be out here keeping me company. I’m sure your hero friends are more important than this,” you try to joke, but it comes out more serious than you were hoping. Your drunken words seem to unveil something unconscious inside of you that you thought you’d move on from. Goddamnit.

Midoriya doesn’t say anything, as the reality of what you’ve said sinks in. You really hadn’t meant for it to come out that way. But here you are: drunk, cold, hurt, and feeling stupid.

So you laugh, a hollow sound. “Wow, how much alcohol did Mina put into this? I better go find her and ask because this shouldn’t be allowed…” You’re standing up from the bench, leaving your drink behind, those internal red lights telling you to run despite your outward attempts to look composed.

In fact, you are about to run because it’s just too awkward. But Midoriya calls your name, softly. And you, always drawn to him, just have to look back.

He stands, slowly walking towards you. “I don’t know why I said those things. But I’ve always felt awful. I just never had the guts to apologize earlier.”

You wring your hands. Was he really taking the bait now? He must have been drinking too. But his gaze is clear enough to tell you he’s taking this seriously, and you’re too scared to run away. So you speak quietly. “I know why you said that. And you do too. It’s because you love your job. You can say that you’re sorry but I’ve always felt like you put everyone else’s needs before mine or yours. So… don’t say you’re sorry. Not if you don’t mean it.”

He’s quiet long enough that you turn around, about to return inside before Midoriya speaks again. “I was being selfish,” he announces, reflective enough to stop you. You turn around. He walks right up to you. “I thought about you everyday while I was gone. Hero work has always been important to me, yes, but you are my dream. You’re who I want to be with, who I want to love. I was stupid to take advantage of that.”

Your lips part, a sensation filling your body. Is it relief? Perhaps, anxiety?

You don’t pull away when his hand reaches out, waiting a moment as if expecting you to pull away. When you do not, he gently cups both your cheek, a movement so soft and warm that your heart melts a little.

But… it doesn’t feel like enough. His touch alone cannot heal the wound you’ve unknowingly covered for a year and a half. Without meaning to, your eyes water. “What… What do you want, Midoriya?”

He exhales softly, brushing a thumb along your cheek. “I just want to be with you.”

That makes the breath catch in your throat, making you realize you are actually torn between that relief and anxiety. Relief that he feels the same. But anxiety because you don’t know if that is enough. “I feel like I’ve waited for you my whole life. But I don’t know if I can believe you.”

His face falls as his eyebrows furrow and he closes his eyes. He leans forward, resting his forehead against yours. He breathes you in, breathes out. “I know,” he whispers. “After all that, I don’t know if I’d believe me either.”

His eyes look disheartened and full of guilt. So much so that you cannot help but gently touch his nose with your own. “I’m not entirely innocent either. I said some mean things to you that night too, and I’m sorry. I should never have said you don’t care - that was wrong of me.”

He pulls away a little, but his hands are still on your cheek. Still sad but a little bit of hope glimmers. “No, you weren’t wrong for saying that. Once things calmed down overseas, Kacchan called me and gave me a lot of shit for what I said to you. I should have stayed, or talked things over with you. I’m sorry.”

You inhale soft, feeling a weight lift off your chest and no longer feeling like you have to make a run for it. “It’s okay.” You smile a little. “I know I just said I’d have trouble believing you. But… I do believe that.”

He laughs a little, more like a tiny exhale. His eyes are carefully watching your face now. “I’m glad.”

Well, you think to yourself, now that everything's out in the open, it’s probably time to ask the important question. “What does this mean for us?”

He hums softly, hands leaving your cheeks. But he does not pull away, likely trying to enjoy this moment as you are. His hands travel down to your waist, keeping you close. “I didn’t say all those things hoping we could try being together again. But I do want to say that…” he thumbs at the skin of your hip, always needing to be touching you. “I’m here. Really. I want to be here for you and for however long it takes you to believe me again.”

Your gaze flickers between his eyes, feeling the sincerity of his confession. “Thank you,” you reply softly. “I want to believe you again, and I want us to work together on that. I just think we need more time.”

It’s neither a full rejection nor a full commitment - but enough where Midoriya grins brightly. “I’ll give you all the time in the world.”

Honestly? At first, you think Midoriya is full of shit. Not in a bad way. Just in a tentative ‘is he really going to follow through’ perspective. You’ve always believed in Midoriya as a person. But considering the history, the daily ins and outs have required a little more work.

Midoriya had been away for a year and a half. You may not know his favorite food anymore or his favorite movie or his favorite song to fall asleep to. But something you haven’t forgotten about him is that Midoriya always tries.

Texts become more frequent, as Midoriya grows more eager to repair that bridge between the two of you. Surface level questions about your day turn back into similar text conversations of how things were when you were dating. He still enjoys checking up on you, asking about your day, and recalling memories that actually make you smile whilst reading them. Despite his behavior, he never actually pushes questions about your relationship.

He trusts you to communicate, just as you start to trust him once more with your thoughts, feelings, and insecurities. You go from pretending to be alright with Midoriya to actually being alright with Midoriya. And it doesn’t fill you with doubt. It leaves you content, happy to be where you are with him.

It comes to a headway about six months after Midoriya returns home - and you get injured at work.

It’s nothing serious. You sprain your ankle after missing a step going down the stairs at the office. Most of the heroes you could have called were out fighting some big villain on the other side of town, so the agency itself was empty of any heroes or sidekicks. Hence, your friend from finance drives you to the hospital. A couple hours of waiting, and you are admitted and immediately given ice packs, a pillow for leg elevation, and a recommendation from the doctor to get an x-ray scan to ensure no broken bones.

You decide to give Kirishimia a call after your x-ray, reassured by the doctor that the turnaround time for the results would take a little over an hour.

You almost regret trying to give him a call, considering what he was doing at the moment, but are surprised to hear him pick up the phone on the last ring. He calls your name, confused. “What’s going on? Is everything okay? I’m still caught up in the fight. More support has arrived so I think it’s wrapping up soon. Luckily we’ve been able to contain the damage but the first aid station is packed right now.”

“Eijiro, I just wanted to let you know that I’m at the hospital. But I’m okay.”

“What? The hospital? What happened? Is everything okay?” Kirishimia calls. “Do you need me to head over there?” A pause. “The police just arrived so I really do thing the fight will be over soon. Not every hero has to be present for the paperwork. I can come over right away.”

“No, don’t,” you say. “I’m fine, it’s just a sprain. I already did the x-ray scan and am waiting to make sure nothing is broken.” You smile. “It’s alright, Eijiro. Focus on what’s more important - protecting the people.”

Kirishima makes a tiny noise of protest, but seems to find some validity to your point. He is needed much more where he is. “Okay, fine. But call me when you hear the results.”

You nod. “I will, thank you.”

He hangs up, leaving you in the silence of the emergency room ward in a bed surrounded by a curtain. The waiting is long, leaving you with only your phone to occupy you. You watch some of the tailend of the big villain fight. Luckily, the damage was limited to just one of the skyscrapers due to all the heroes that rushed onto the scene. You catch sight of some familiar faces, of this echo of green lightning and immediately jump to thoughts about Midoriya. How was he doing? You hope he’s doing alright. He’s supposed to come over tonight, so perhaps you can ask him how he’s doing then. That is, if you’re able to be released from the hospital in time.

You’re about to take a quick nap before you hear the doors to the emergency room fly open. At first, you assume it’s a patient since you are, after all, in the emergency wing. But then someone is exclaiming, “Mr. Deku, please calm down! If you just tell me who you’re looking for, I can tell you where they are. Please don’t disturb the other patients!”

Deku’s name feels like a bolt of electricity running through you as you push yourself up to your forearms, trying hard not to apply pressure to your ankle as your eyes train themselves on the edge of the drawn privacy curtain.

Suddenly, Midoriya appears, wide and imploring eyes that immediately zero in on you with laser sharp focus.

“Midoriya!” you exclaim. “What-?”

“Are you okay?” he asks, quickly walking over to stand next to you. Without warning, he takes your face in his hands. Eyes search your face, likely searching for any signs of anything physically or emotionally out of the ordinary. “What happened? Where did this happen? Who took you here? Did you drive here yourself?”

“Midoriya,” you say carefully, firmly, watching the way he closes his mouth to let him speak. “I’m okay. I just hurt my ankle at the agency. H-How did you know I was here?”

He sighs, releasing his hold on your face. But he moves down to your hand. “Kirishima told me. And… it’s like with anything I do. My body moved on its own and suddenly I was running here.”

You frown up at him. “But weren’t you in the middle of a villain fight? You just left?”

His thumb is rubbing your hand. He shrugs. “We had a lot of help. The damage was at a minimum and things were wrapping up anyways.”

You look down, still lost. “But you love finishing up cases. You love reassuring people and always needing to make sure that other people are okay.”

His movement ceases, a time of silence he takes to kneel next to your bed. “Hey, look at me,” he says softly. You, helpless, look at him. “I know I was really bad at expressing this back when we were together. But I need you to know that you’re part of those people too. Not just that, but you’re the person I want to reassure the most and the person I need to make sure is the most okay. I’m sorry if you were thrown off by my arrival.”

“No, not at all,” you reassure quickly, tightening your hold on his hand. “I was surprised, but in a good way.”

He brightens at that, straightening up and kissing your forehead. “Okay. And I’m glad to see that you’re okay. Are they going to release you soon?”

You nod. “I think so. I got an x-ray, so a doctor will be giving me the report soon. They just want to make sure that nothing is broken.”

Midoriya brings your hand to his chest. “Can I wait here with you?”

You give him a private smile. “I’d like that.”

So Midoriya sits on the bed with you. Neither of you talk about his confession or what it means for the both of you. You just sit and joke around like no time has passed. He’ll occasionally fuss over your ankle, but it doesn’t last long. The doctor comes around and confirms no broken bones. He follows it up with strict orders to rest for the next four to six weeks before allowing you to leave.

The doctor comments about how nice it is for your boyfriend to take time off from heroing to see you off. You smile, hold Midoriya’s hand, and try to sort through the butterflies in your stomach.

Four to six weeks later, you take the subway to Midoriya’s neighborhood. His house is a place you’ve been to once, solely for work purposes so you still have the address on your phone. To be honest, you’re not even sure if Midoriya is home in the middle of the day. It’s Sunday, his new day off (or so he’s told you), so you imagine that he’s likely home resting. You hope so anyways.

Well, only one way to find out. You knock on the door with one hand, using the other to balance the tray of breads and desserts you’ve just picked up from that expensive bakery in the city. If he isn’t home, you might just have to leave it on the front steps…

The door swings open, revealing Midoriya in his casual attire of jeans and a shirt that says SUNDAY on the front.

You make it a point not to stare at the shirt in favor of looking at Midoriya’s frantic look. “Hi,” you greet cheerfully, holding up the box of pastries. “I wanted to bring you something.”

“Baby, what are you doing?” he asks, dragging you in by the waist. “You just got out of the hospital, you shouldn’t be walking right now!” He’s pouting cutely. He’s been more generous with his touches and nicknames since your return to the hospital, and it’s put you on a hopeful high where maybe… perhaps… he’s down to go out and give this another shot.

“I’m fine, Izuku,” you say mindlessly, not trying to fight your way out of his hold. You just hold up that box of pastries. “I was on strict house arrest orders from my boss and got daily visits from a certain someone so not only am I very well-rested, I am antsy. I’m not allowed back at work so it’s only right that I get a little bit of exercise. And I know how much you love this bakery and… are you okay?”

You stop because Midoriya is looking at you with that soft smile on his face - the same kind of smile he’d wear before telling you something important.

“No, it’s nothing,” Midoriya brushes off. He just takes the box from you and rests it on the table near his door. “You just called me Izuku.”

A little bit of your cheerful disposition from before vaporizes. “Oh. Um, yes… I did.” You gaze up at him. You were speaking a little too freely. Even though you and Midoriya are in a really good spot, there are still some things that haven’t been firmly established yet. Like, for example, what the specific label of your relationship was. “Is that too much? It sort of just slipped out, I’m sorry…”

“No, don’t apologize,” he says hastily, wrapping his arms back around you. “I guess with what happened between us and your trip to the hospital… things have just been feeling different.”

“They have!” you say, a little relieved. So his question wasn’t for disappointment, it was just curiosity. Again, you’ve underestimated his kindness and his love for you. But you refuse to back down again. “I… actually came here for another reason.”

His gaze is still trained on you.

You keep your head up. “I’m here to ask you out.”

Midoriya tilts his head, not fully understanding. “You wanna get lunch?”

“No, no, I meant… like, I want to go out with you. Date you. Try being your girlfriend again.”

His eyes widen, bringing you closer to him. “Are you serious? You… you want to try dating? You… believe in me now?”

His words from Todoroki’s party flash in your mind: I just want to be with you.

You nod. “I really believe in the things you’ve been doing to balance your life out more. I know you’re doing those things for yourself, and seeing you make the choice to take a day off or seeing me at the hospital made me happy. It makes me want to try being with you again, knowing that we’ve grown enough to put in our best effort.”

Midoriya smiles at that, big and bright as he cups your cheeks. “I promise you that I’ll never make you regret this.” And you, filled with so much love and hope for this, kiss him. He kisses you back, firm, simultaneously scooping you up in his arms.

You gasp out against his mouth, that shock turning into a fit of giggle. “Izuku, what are you doing?”

“I’m protecting your ankle!” he points out playfully. “Want to come down?”

You pretend to contemplate. He’s lifting you up so easily. “Hmm, actually no. Maybe I’ll just stay here and let you lead the way.”

He leans up towards you, signaling what he wants next. You indulge him easily, leaning down halfway to press your forehead against his. He closes his eyes, breathes you in. “I definitely intend to,” he says.

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #mha writing #bnha writing #mha smut #bnha smut #mha fluff #bnha fluff #midoriya imagine #midoriya fluff #midoriya smut #midoriya izuku fluff #midoriya izuku smut #traci writes for mha

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gin-juice-tonic · 2 months

Note

can i ask how youre able to make so many comics or if you have any tips for aspiring internet funny comic makers? your gag comics are always so creative and funny and well-executed, and your longer form stuff is just a delight to read, i would love to know if u have any advice/insight into yr process

I'm not good at advice so you will have to bear with me here. Also I'm putting it under a readmore cause images make it into a long post. The like first 3/4th of this I talk about specific comics I did, but if you scroll to the end I tried to give some general advice.

My stuff is unfortunately very inspiration-based as opposed to planning-based. So my process might not be helpful if you're looking for something structured... The first thing I should say is I write down basically anything that pops into my head ever. I have a bunch of nonsensical tumblr drafts,

I have stuff in my phones notes app,

I have pages and pages of papers and post-it notes littering my apartment (if you want to know the extent, my sister asked me how I could live with my apartment being so "messy". The only messy thing in it is my papers scattered about). I find the paper stuff the best, because I can draw instead of just writing down concepts.

This is the page I did for the comic about Stan "comforting" Dipper over his unrequited crush on Wendy. (The tumblr version being here)

You will notice aside from the order on the page being strange and some scratched out dialogue, there's not really evidence of a 'plan' here. That's because I was just drawing this as I was thinking it. You will also notice there are two random unrelated Ford drawings in the middle of the page. That's because I was drawing ANYTHING that I was thinking of.

And when I say write down anything, I do mean it. Write down something you did that week, something you remember from when you were 8, something you said out loud and laughed at, things you thought about in the shower, a fact you learned, what your friend had for dinner. See if you can apply it to something. I've mentioned before that this comic only exists because I ran out of toilet paper and went to buy a large bulk pack of it...

When I already have a base idea and just want to expand on it, I usually draw first ask questions later, and things seem to just snowball into being a story. As an example, for the comic I did about Dipper's swimsuit, the base idea was just "Dipper and Stan both wear fully covering swimwear - because they're trans and its what they're comfortable with." But when I went to look up what Dipper wore to the pool, i noticed mabel had a Star one piece suit

Dipper has a star hat in the first episode that he loses, right? SO why don't we give him a matching star one piece that he abandons.

Of course then that single drawing CREATES the story, because we have to explain how he eventually ends up in what he's wearing in the episode. And then I just draw and draw and draw until either the comic ends or I can't continue for whatever reason. The outline for the full thing usually forms while I'm drawing. If I'm worried about forgetting, I'll write down what comes next.

Some of this stuff I didn't stick to, or greatly expanded upon. It's good to be flexible with what you're doing. If something you originally intended only to be a throwaway bit inspires you, roll with it and keep going. (If it ends up being nothing, you can always discard it or turn it into something else later anyway)

I did the swimsuit one basically fully on my computer, but if you want to see another paper based one, a lot of the comic with the kid stans and crampelter I'm doing currently is down on paper.

If you can make out my writing, you can see it says "Crampelter has found out about Stan and Ford's boxing identities" at the top there, which was the general main idea of this part of the comic. This one was a lot more planned than the dipper swimsuit one. There's multiple pages of this sort of stuff, and I knew the idea I wanted was "If Ford and Stan are trans, why would they still be called those names as kids?" (So I guess the takeaway from this one is if you're wanting a structured comic, write down the main idea on the top of a page and brainstorm dialogue and drawings on it?)

There's a lot of sort of floating heads with dialogue, all that matters is I get the emotions or general idea drawn. They're important for me to draw out because being able to "see" the scene (even if I'm seeing it heavily unfinished) is what usually inspires the next bit of the comic.

And I know I talked like a lot already but some general other advice:

Draw, ask questions about what you've drawn, draw more to answer the questions, see if those new drawings ask any new questions, continue this process till you come to a satisfying resolution.

It's fine to not draw something immediately after you've thought of it. I have a lot of things I've just squirreled away for later. And in the same vein its okay to drag something old up that you've never used and try to work with it.

I almost always put on music while I'm trying to think of things. Something I feel fits the mood of what I'm doing tonally. And then I usually just put the same song on repeat, though some people im sure would feel like that is psychological torture. But its helpful to me.

This might sound silly if you're someone who leaves the house a societally normal amount, but I try to go out into the world and do things so I get new ideas and experiences I can build on. Sometimes those things are literally just "go to the park", but sometimes it's venturing out somewhere several hours away or doing an activity i'd never care to do normally... I try to take note of anything that stood out to me and write down thoughts or feelings I had during.

When it comes to trying to be "funny", you should try to make yourself laugh first. Not only because you want your comics to bring yourself joy, but also because its just hard to make stuff you don't care about (And harder to be consistent about it). Though if you think of something and you don't really think its funny, you don't have to throw it away! You might be surprised what other people end up liking. So don't kill yourself to write jokes you yourself don't really get, but if your brain spits out something on its own you dont care much for, it still may be gold to someone else.

It's okay to make comics about simple and relatable things. People love relating. And depending on what you're writing about, that relatability may be really needed!

Everyone has something of value to say. Even if you yourself don't feel like the things you're saying matter, or that they're too silly or un-serious to matter. They matter.

#ask stuff #sorry its so long and probably largely unhelpful

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ppawmpkin · 1 year

Text

You left your diary at my house.

Shuri Udaku x Black Fem Reader

“You left your diary at my house and I read those pages, you really love me baby.” -Wait a Minute by Willow Smith. (This was my inspo for writing this :))

↠︎Fluff

“So let me get this straight, you’ve left some sort of book in the princess’s lab and you’re on edge because of it?” Okoye asked, she didn’t let her judgment towards you go unknown, looking at you as if you were a crazy woman on the street. You flinched under her gaze, trying to ignore the chastisement that laid in the depths of her deep umber eyes.

“It’s not just a book, it’s filled with stuff.” You exclaimed, to the general who did nothing but scoff, her distaste prominent in her features. Creases in her brows, she definitely didn’t find pleasure in you snooping into the wakandian princess’s lab, especially without her knowing, but she knew that even without her accompanying you, you would’ve still acted on your own account.

Calling it a mere “book” was a mere understatement, you had put your whole heart into that pink notebook, every page written from the depths of your soul, every thought, every emotion and every revelation you had went through laid in one of those many lined pages, written in blue pen ink, signed with your signature at the very bottom, although you prayed no one would ever see it. You knew that if Shuri got her hands on your whole life, that would change your whole stance with her, the things you wrote about her were more than friendly, each page you dedicated to her was filled with passion and utter love, love that you didn’t want her to find out about, at least not like this. Not by your own diary, but your own words.

“What stuff?!” She asked, raising her voice, frustrated with the lack of intel she was receiving from you. If there’s anything she hated most, it was being left in the dark, especially if she was risking her title just for you to steal back a book your own irresponsibility lost you.

“Stuff she shouldn’t lay her eyes on, at all.” You loudly whispered, feeling your nerves creep up on you. Your palms were sweating, so much you had to wipe them on your sides, your heart betrayed you, beating out of your chest with every step closer you came to her lab. You were hoping that she had already made her exit, hopefully somewhere far away from the comfort of her lab. It would be quite awkward to explain, if she did catch you and you didn’t think you had the power to mansplain your way out of this one.

“I’ll get it.” You whispered, wiping the glistening sweat off of your palms again. She gave you a swift nod, eyes giving you a warning as to say, hurry up.

You completely sped through her lab, greeted by an upbeat Grio, ignoring his greeting, not with the intention to be rude, but to keep him from attempting to make small talk with you, something you were usually down for, just not at the current moment. You walked up the stairwell, more quicker than you ever had, scared with every step that she would come and find you intruding her lab.

It felt wrong, to infiltrate her lab like this, without her knowing but you felt as if you were protecting all your friendship with her had at stake, knowing in the back of your mind that if she read those love letters you had dedicated specifically to her, it would be over for you. Your secret would be out, you could no longer hide behind your useless reasoning as to why you wanted to be near her all the time, nor could you defend the times where you had lost your composure, taking her harmless words and creating more meaning than she would intend which would lead you into a stumbling mess.

Finally you set your eyes on it, unmistakably yours. You placed the diary in your hands, running a finger over the cover, relief drowning over your body as you held it tightly, knuckles near the color white as you attempted to make your exit, satisfied that your entry had gone correctly. Maybe a little too satisfied, because just upon the time of your departure, Shuri had made her arrival into her office, talking to Okoye who was attempting to distract her, knowing your time was up. “Shit.” You muttered under your breath, scanning for a way around her and Okoye’s conversation. Around the stairs. You thought, catching the very same entrance you had previously entered.

You could take your chances, sneak across the many things she had placed, but knowing Shuri, whose senses were even more keen due to her taking the heart shaped herb, she would be able to see you with her heightened sense of sight, and killer peripheral. “Ziyatha, (fools) that’s all they are, they act so close minded sometimes.” She said, anger weaved in her tone, clearly bothered by something. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but a part of you tugged you to do so. You resisted your urge, her voice in the background as you slowly creeped toward the exit. You were praying you could go unnoticed, hoping that whatever she was rambling on about, would be enough to keep her occupied and away from suspicion.

“Speaking of foolery, (name) could you please reveal yourself now? Let’s not trouble yourself trying to sneak out of the very lab you snuck into.” She said, freezing every muscle in your body. To say you were stumped would be a complete understatement, you couldn’t move, your body flooded with embarrassment, hot in the face. You stayed down, thinking that with silence you would disappear from her mind. You could feel her, arms crossed, a look of amusement plastered on that gorgeous face of hers as she thought of what a stupid decision you had made, not even thinking about the cameras that were everywhere in her lab. She was the princess of Wakanda and one of the smartest people on earth, did you really think you could ease by her unnoticed?

Cursing yourself out in your mind, you slowly peeled out from where you were hiding. Refusing to look in her direction, knowing that the look on her face would only fuel your regret more. “Okoye could you please excuse us?” She asked, Okoye giving you an apologetic look before easing away. The silence had never been more louder, you were too scared to speak, afraid of the words pouring out of your mouth, only digging your grave deeper. She was the first to say a word, sighing as she inched near you.

“What were you doing in here?” She questioned, face scrunched in pure and utter confusion. “Retrieving an item that I left in your lab, earlier today when you showed me your sketches and stuff I left something on the table upstairs.” You muttered, finally forcing yourself to look at her. “What was it, what was so important that could’ve made you sneak into my lab without even asking me?” She said, her voice laced with disappointment at you, scolding you like a mom would. “Nothing.” You said, but she gave you a humbling look, sending you into a downward spiral.

“It better be something, intombazana. (Girl) You know better, if you wanted entry all you had to do was ask, not sneak around like a mad man.” She said, trying to figure out for the life of her, what compelled you to do so. “A book that was dear to me, that’s all.” You said softly, your shame written across your face. “Oh, you mean this?” She pulled your diary from her pocket, and when you attempted to reach for it, she held it up, placing a hand in front of your face. You opened the one you had, every page empty with Shuri’s poorly drawn smiley face and her signature right beside it.

“Shuri, please. I apologize to you, but I really, really need that back.” You begged, hands in a praying stance. Shuri smiled cunningly, “What are you so scared of?” She said, not even knowing the half of it. You wanted so badly to tell her, because in reality that was true, you are scared of her finding out about how much you truly loved her, you were scared of her finding out that you pictured her more your lover than a mere friend, you were terrified, every nerve in your body struck. “Nothing, now please hand it back.” You pleaded, a slight drag in your words as you made another lost attempt to grab it from her.

“Not before I ask you this.” She said, still holding your book up high, dangling it in your face like a dog after treats. “What, what is it?” You said, eager to get this done and over with, so you could finally have your diary in the security of your hands. You most definitely had learned from your mistakes, to never leave something so crucial out in the open like that again, so you wouldn’t end up in these circumstances.

“How long have you been in love with me?” The question glided out of her mouth so smoothly you almost didn’t catch it, except you did. “Wha-what would make you think-” You paused mid sentence, the thing you dreaded the most had became apart of your reality. She had read your diary. She had read everything you wrote about her, those letters, those stupid letters. It hit you like a ton of bricks, your heart increased as you had a slight pant in your breath. “The year after I met you, about three years now.” You came clean, finally ripping off the bandage, exposing your wounds to Shuri, who was now a spectator of your most vulnerable state.

“Wow.” She exclaimed, her single word reaction made you feel far more smaller, you felt as if you had shrunk. “The way you write about me is so-” You cut her off, eyes widening at her sentence. “Weird, I promise I won’t ever do it again. Matter of fact, I can even understand if you don’t want anything to do with me at all.” The last part had came spilling out, word vomiting to keep from breaking down in front of Shuri, who was genuinely concerned for you. “No, it’s not. I just wish you would’ve told me sooner, you made it hell for the both of us, umfazi.” (Woman)

The both of you? How could you have made it hell for her? The meaning of her words didn’t quite register with you. “What do you mean?” You said, making her roll her eyes at you, pulling you close by the end of your hoodie. “I mean, I love you.” She said, bringing a finger to your chin, tilting it upwards so you could see the truthfulness behind her statement. You felt a strange warmth embrace you, content with her words. I love you. You repeated her words over in your head, til you could finally believe them. She noticed your disbelief, laughing at your expression.

She placed a kiss on your forehead, “Yes, I said it. Try not to look so struck by lightning-ish.” She joked, cupping your face with her hands. “Say it again.” You said, feeling far more bolder than you were before. “Hm, so you make the princess of Wakanda fall for you and now you think you can give commands?” She questioned, a playful glint within her eyes. She crossed her arms over her chest. “I love you, (name) and I have for so long.” She said. You closed the gap between yours and her lips, catching her by surprise but she welcomed you with open arms, hands trailing down to grab on to your waist.

You kissed her deeply, three years of the bottled love you had stored just for her being shown in just one action. You ran your fingers through her hair, forehead together while you both basked in the moment, the moment your love had finally been set free.

A/N: This is not my best writing work, at all. I struggle a lot with writing stories still so please forgive me but give it a few more months, I’ll learn how to do it better.

#queen shuri #shuri imagine #shuri udaku #black panther #shuri fluff #shuri x reader #black reader #shuri fanfiction #letitia wright shuri #black panther 2

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takuyakistall · 4 months

Text

brewing mishaps

Ace found a book containing recipes for potions. How far will curiosity get him? — Pomefiore!Ace x Reader

Note: hi.... hello........ (dusts off cobwebs) this is kinda embarrassing posting again after i said i wld no longer post 🙈

Ace had always known that Pomefiore offered a wide array of potion recipes hidden away in thick tomes that collected dust in shelves. It wasn't forbidden to browse through them, of course, it was already a given that dangerous mixes were stored away safely and away from students.

Which is why Ace was a little baffled, a little confused, as to why there was a recipe for a potion that supposedly alters one's feelings "permanently". He wondered why the text had quotation marks but quickly shook his head as he continued to gloss over the pages.

The ink was fading, he could barely make out some words or whole paragraphs. Frustration threatened to shut the book closed and shove it back to its place in the shelf until his eyes caught a few words that read: This potion... Works... Love...

"Ha?"

Hold on, isn't that basically saying this is a love potion? Permanent effects too?? Isn't that seriously bad???

The thought of asking Vil came across his mind but he shooed the thought away when he promptly put back the book in its original spot on the shelf. He shouldn't try and dabble in this sort of thing...

—or so he thought. He wanted to find out the reason why he was in the greenhouse, looking for potion ingredients.

"Get away from me." Oh, the look on his face was priceless. He was under the assumption that the potion he threw together haphazardly would work as intended. The small vial that was supposed to work as a love potion did the exact opposite—Wait, wait, wait. What's going on?

Vil called him an idiot. He was under the impression that Ace knew better than to follow a recipe for a potion whose description could be barely read with the ink fading away. He managed to exceed his expectations in the worst way and now he was facing the consequences of picking the forbidden fruit that granted him knowledge. Now that he took a bite, he was cast away.

It was curious; how far would he go to be welcomed back? It was simple. Constant begging got him somewhere with Vil who was tired and sick from his junior tailing him around the corridors and even went as far as to enter his room unprompted. Needless to say, one way to get Ace off his back was to appease him.

"Huh," was all Ace could respond with when Vil gave him the remedy.

"Don't give me that blank look? Were you expecting something awfully romantic like a true love's kiss will wake them from the spell?" Vil's tone was sharp, mostly because he was at his limit dealing with his antics. "There is no such thing as a potion with permanent effects that is out in the open in the dormitory. It was most likely vandalized."

"So you're telling me that the best I can do is wait for it to wear off?" Ace tilted his head, a little doubtful of his dorm leader's words. "Are you sure? Cause it's gonna hurt a lot if it ends up being permanent."

"It's the consequences of your actions. Deal with it. I trust that you'll know better than to make your friend drink a potion in the future."

"Yes, yes..."

Frankly, Ace didn't buy it. It was his tendency to overthink that led him to approaching you once more with his usual smile on his face, waving at you mischievously as if nothing changed between the two of you.

"Yo! What's up?"

"Ha? I told you to get away from me before." Your reply was ice cold. Ace faltered a little but he made sure to cover it up quickly with another comment.

"Aww, c'mon, don't be like that! We're best buddies, aren't we?" He tried to wrap his hand around your neck but was pushed away swiftly. "You can't seriously hate me forever because of some potion."

"Isn't this your fault?"

"Geh... Nevermind that. I just wanna focus on getting you back to normal."

"This is the new normal. Get used to it."

"Nuh-uh. Vil told me that the effects would wear off eventually so maybe talking to you like this would speed up the process." Ace grinned, clearly trying his best to look unfazed. "Maybe even doing the things we used to do would shake off the effects."

"No? I really don't want to talk to you right now. This is a waste of time— Woah!?" Getting pulled by the arm was certainly one way to bring you back closer. Ace wanted to get this over as quickly as possible and he would go to such lengths to ensure that it would happen. If this doesn't work, then he'll have to march up to Vil again and beg for another remedy.

"Prepare yourself! We're gonna do every single thing we used to do!"

#me when i said i wld no longer post but then get hit by sudden insanium #hi guys... HAHAHAHAHA #twst #twisted wonderland #twst writing #twisted wonderland x reader #ace trappola x reader #twisted wonderland ace #ace x reader #ace #ace trappola

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cb97swhore · 2 years

Text

bored

pairing ; christopher bang x afab reader

< 3

summary ; you found his porn

< 3

disclaimer : this is not an interpretation of what the chosen member (s) are like in any way, this is a work of fiction therefore it is not real. i only write for people i am comfortable with, my comfort does go out to groups that are not on my masterlist such as : ateez, monstax and others, you just need to ask if you want me to write for someone specific. if you are under 18 read at your own risk this / these piece (s) contain adult themes. such as ( alcohol, sexual activity, and just alot of sexual stuff) lowercase wording intended.

< 3

warnings ; mutual masterbation, sub reader x dom chan, mentions of other members, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), established relationship, nicknames (baby, channie, good girl), PRAISE, PRAISE, a little degrading, alot of dialogue

< 3

wc. 3

you had been sitting there for the past hour just watching chan and on your phone, waiting for him to finish up this single that him, hyunjin and minho wrote and is supposably dropping in two months.

usually on saturdays chan has atleast some of the day off but not today, after dance rehearsal had finished, he came here instead of going to eat with the boys and has been sat here recording and changing things.

you had came here to give him food because you know when he is in the studio whether that be the dance studio or the recording studio all day, he forgets to eat.

you rarely see chan recently but you do get your 'good night, baby' text between 10pm and 4 am depending if he has alot on his plate. if he ever sleeps then he usually falls asleep at the studio and if not there then he only gets to your shared apartment in early mornings and leaves way too early for you to catch him.

you did see him on the regular just on a device, he doesn't really have time to 'pop a visit' or call, he would text you every now and then but you would have to wait hours for a response, because of the tour and the new album drop you only see him on youtube videos and vlives.

that's the treasure of dating an idol.

you used the food as an excuse to see him but it was also true he does forget to eat, you can't blame him it's easy to forget when you have so much on your mind.

your phone had died a couple of minutes ago so you asked chan to go on his phone as yours charged, of course he said yes and gave it to you, you put in his password 'straykids8' and it was already open on his photos, curiousity took over you and you are now scrolling through his library of photos.

most of them selfies he never posts, you scroll through the tens of selfies smiling to yourself "you're so cute" you whisper, you click off of the main album and press on the one that says 'not so straight kids' It's an album filled with videos and photos of the boys being more than friendly with each other, you can't help but giggle and scroll for a little longer.

you come off of it to go onto a different album this one named "my love <3" the album containing photos and videos of you and Chan on dates or just doing overall wholesome things together.

you press off of the albums and scroll down a little bit, you realise he hasn't got a hidden folder, "channie?" he hums in response "wheres your hidden photos?" you ask "hidden from the guys thats where, why?" he questions you as he slightly tuns in his chair.

"can i unhide them for a bit?" you ask and you see a small smirk form on his lips " you already know whats on there but sure" you look at him confused you but dismiss his words, you go into settings and turn it on, you go back to the library and go onto the hidden folder that isn't very hidden thanks to you.

you see it's nudes, but not just anyones nudes they are yours and chans, you accidentally gasp as you see them and scoll up, videos of him fucking you."chris" you call him and he turns around in his chair to look at you, you rarely call him by his english name unless he is fucking you or he is in trouble.

you show him the phone screen, it playing a video of him fucking you from behind, "told you" he says with a smile "you have so many photos and videos of us chris" you start as you cross your legs and swipe to a different video.

"at least I can hide them" he says in defence "not very well" you tease as you see his ears flare up with a red tint, "the boys could find this" you say with a smile.

"let them, maybe they'll enjoy it as much as I do" he says with a slight smirk "enjoy them?" you question as you turn the phone back to you.

"we fuck alot" you say scrolling, "not recently though" you continue, he just hums "how do you enjoy the videos chan?" you ask even though you know "show me" you finish.

you want to control chan, make him cum just by command but then you also want him to use you like his own personal sex doll. "why should I?" he asks and you uncross your legs and stand up, pulling down your grey sweat pants, you kick them off and sit down with your legs open wide.

you're sat there in lacy black underwear and Chans shirt "fuck" he whispers under his breath and you are grateful for your confidence as you sit back and lift a leg up.

your (his) shirt uncovering every thing so he has a perfect view, chan sat there palming his shorts as his eyes trail down your body from you lips to your now wet panties.

you loved when chan touch himself, you didn't know why but it was a huge turn on, you loved it a whole lot more when you were the one touching him and making him moan your name.

"touch yourself" he demands and you listen.Your middle finger finding your clothed clit as you rub it in figures of eight, soft moans ascape you as you watch Chan push harder on his cock."chan" you moan his name in a whisper so he will look at you, him a little lost with the friction he is creating in his pants.

when he does look at you, you stop rubbing your clit and stand up hooking your fingers into your panties, you turn around and pull them down slowly, bending over as you do so, you hear him grunt and you stand up straight and kick the lace off of your body.

you kick them into the pile of forming clothes and sit on the sofa, this time putting both of you legs up so he has a this time absolutely perfect view and so will anyone who walks in, lets just hope no one does.

chans hand is already in his pants, taking his cock out, precum covering the tip but he doesn't touch it until your fingers are on you again, spreading your folds so he can see "use you left hand" he says, and you do, you bring two fingers up to your mouth and suck them in, making them wet, you take them out and start rubbing your clit.

your right hand smearing your juices, chan rubs over the tip of his cock and the precum slides down his length, you start to tease yourself with two fingers not pushing them in until he says so, "please channie" you call out, looking at him so innocently.

"do it" is all he says as he starts jerking his cock "fuck chris" you moan as you let them go in, then back out and back in again, chan hisses in responce.

"fuck y/n" he moans as he teases the tip "curl them" another demand, you do and it feels amazing, your small digits still finding the gooy spot inside you, you throw your head back, the pleasure overwhelming, your fingers have never felt this good, on you clit and or in you.

"oh fuck" you moan, hearing the rhythmical slapping of skin pick up it's pace. "channie" his name is like heven in his ears when you moan it like that, "does it feel good baby?" he knows it does, but you would feel a lot better with him inside you.

he looks at you with remorse, "your fingers are tiny compared to mine" he says in one breath, you look up at him "imagine they y- yours" you whimper as you add a third finger and move them faster, your left hand still on your clit.

you feel a knot start to form in the bottom of your stomach as you hear chans harsh breaths "look at me" he says, you pick your head up, making eye contact with him "fuck, i wish this was your hands" he says as he glances down to his dick, you know, the one that could be pounding into you and not his fist.

you moan out as you see it, the way his big hand slides up to the tip to have his thumb press on it, just to slide down to the base.

everything about that man was perfect even his cock, the perfect length and the perfect amount of girth."or your warm cunt" you feel yourself clench around your fingers "so tight" you let out as you pull your fingers out to the tip, just to push them back in, he moans at that "and just for me" he speaks with a smile.

"just for you Channie" you manage to get out before another moan slips your lips and you feel yourself getting closer to the edge. "yeah? baby, uh fuck" he moans the last bit and it completely ruins you and the tight knot rips and you let yourself come undone onto your fingers "fuck" you moan as you climax.

you continue your motions with your fingers, riding out your high "fuck, chris" you practically yell as your juices spill onto the sofa, not the first time, Chan watching your glistening core as you take you fingers out.

"suck" is all he says and your digits are in your mouth "fuck" he moans and you can tell he is trying to prolong this as far as he can, you suck your fingers clean and take them out of your mouth.

without missing a beat he says "take your shirt off" and thats exactly what you do, your shirt laying with your sweat pants, you don't have a bra on because you find them incredibly uncomfortable, "come here" he says and as you get closer to him his left hand goes to your back, pulling you in between his thighs and his lips instantly latch onto your left nipple.

you gasp at the sudden contact as he rolls the bud between his teeth, you can still hear his hand sliding up and down his cock, you moan out as he takes your hand a wraps it around his length and you instantly start to jerk it.

your fingers wraping perfectly around it, he pulls away from your boob and peppers kisses to the other side, you feel his hot breath "fuck y/n, just like that uh" he moans then starts bitting at the skin of your right boob.

you continue your hand movements until you feel him twitch in your palm, as you get to the base you squeeze it lightly and he lets out a shaky moan."get on your knees and open your mouth" he demands as he pulls away, you take your hand away from his throbbing dick and lower yourself onto your knees, using his thighs for support.

you finally get on your knees and chans left hand cups your face, his thumb running over you lips, "look so innocent, open" you open your mouth, his thumb going in and holding it open as you stick your tongue out, waiting for his cum.

he pums his cock a few times "uh fuck" he moans loudly as white ribbons of cum land on your face and chest some of it landing on your tongue.you close your mouth, swallowing the cum, you wipe some of the cum off of your right boob.

making eye contact with him you put your fingers in your mouth, your lips closing over them and a soft moan you let leave your throat as you taste him.

"fuck y/n" he moans at the sight of you as he fuck his fist, coming down from his high.

his hand stops, he takes it off of his dick, "sit on the sofa" he breaths as he reaches for the box of tissues on his desk, you get up from your position on the floor, you legs shaky from you previous orgasm.

he stands up from his seat, his pants falling to the floor, he kicks them off and his attention is back on you, he wipes his cum off your chest and face, placing the tissue on his desk.

"now I'm going to fuck you and you're going to take it like a good girl, okay" he looks down at you and all you can say is "please, I need it" and with that "all fours" he commands and you obey.

you turn around, your knees on the sofa your hand over the back, "so fucking perfect" he says as he teases your folds with the tip "such a tease" you say to him as you push your hips back to feel him.

"tease?" he questions as he rams it in fully and you let out a loud moan at the pleasant surprise, he bottoms out "fuck, so tight" you clench around him and you both moan out.

"big" is all you could get out as he starts shallowly thrusting into you "uhu, big?" he lets out a shaky moan telling you he is enjoying himself "whats big?" he asks you, knowing the answer.

"you channie, uh" you moan as he reaches your gooy spot, he hum s at you as he quickens his pase, his pelvis slamming into your ass, the noises of skin slaping, your wet cunt and both of your moans, yours the loudest thing in the room.

"you fill me up so good" you praise him and he swears he could just cum right there, but no you have to finish first.

he leans into you as his hand finds your clit "Fuck, fuck, fuck" you scream with each thrust and each circle he presses onto the swollen bud.

you grip the back of the sofa for dear life as you feel your second orgasm coming. "fuck chr-" you get half way done moaning his name as he stuffs his fingers in your mouth, you gag on the digits as he brings you up right, your back flush with his front.

"look how fucking-good you are" he thrusts inside mid sentence "letting me use this tight hole" he clarifys and your walls clench around him as you moan around his fingers, "hugging me so fucking tight" he moans as he moves his hips harder, the tip rubbing so deliciously against your g spot, you scream out, his fingers restricting your voice and he knows to do that again.

so he does "shh baby, we don't want anyone to hear" the words make your walls contract "uh fuck, you do" he moans the first bit and slowly drags out of you, just to slam back into you.

a strained moan erupting from your throat, "fuckin slut, such a pretty hole" the name mixed with the praise was all you needed to let go you curl your toes and your hand finds placement on chans hair, gripping it tightly as you cum around him.You feel Chan dick throbbing as he bucks his hips into you helping you ride out your orgasm and your new found kink "did you just? uh fuck, y/n" he moans loudly as he feels his orgasm coming, he takes his fingers out of your mouth and away from your clit, his hand are on your waist as he fucks you hard.

"Uh fuck chris" you practically yell, the over stimulation sending you into overdrive , chan is grunting and moaning as he chases his orgasm "so wet" his voice is an octive higher as you feel warm liquid inside you and he continues his relentless pace.

after a few more thrusts he pulls out and steps back, watching both your and his cum mix and drip down your thighs. you feel a tissue press to your thigh as he cleans you up "thank you" you say as he finishes up and you sit on the sofa.

stretching as you pick up yours (his) shirt and put it on, chan already fully dressed "that was so good" he praises as he sits next to you "i needed that so bad" he says and you understand, he is always sceptical if he is doing what ever it is doing wrong but with you he knows he does it right, cause you're always satisfied and if it was really good you kinda just pass out after you cum.

"so sleepy" you say as you lay yourself down, chan decides to lay on you, hugging you tight around your waist and flipping the two of you over so you are ontop "all fucked out baby?" he says and you let out a pleased moan cause you don't want to talk.

your legs lay on each side of him on the sofa as you hug him and start to fall asleep.

you don't know how long its been but you get woken up by the door opening and a voice "chan its tim-"its hyunjins voice and he stops mid sentence as he sees you "jeonjin, its y/n" he calls the youger boy and you hear foot steps and jeonjins voice "what about he- wow" he also stops himself but he has a reaction and its sounds like a good.

"your fantasys are not as good as the real thing" hyunjin says "we shouldn't be seeing this" jeonjin the respectible (kinda) one of the two says and you lift your head and look back at them hyunjin just standing there still holding the door and jeonjin standing behind him "its okay" you say.

The more 'innocent' ones eyes widen at your words "youre still pervs though" you say and put your head back on chans chest, "just shut the door I dont care if you leave or not" you feel yourself start to drift off until you hear chans voice "just keep it quite, we are trying to sleep" you smile at that and close your eyes.

A.N ; this is my work, if you have seen it before thats because i have changed accounts.

please show love, like, follow and repost please and thank you

Remember, i love you all and i hope you're doing okay :)

#skz smut #skz hard thoughts #bang chan #bang chan smut #stray kids smut

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consumedbyfeels · 22 days

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I have always shipped Buddie, i never thought it would happen and I still don't. The art, fics, edits and speculation and ideas the fans come up with are great I very much enjoy them. I've read way too many Buddie fics to count and scrolled the Buddie tag on here way too many times. It's a solid ship however more and more I'm leaning towards wanting BuckTommy to be the endgame and Buddie to just be friends. The dynamic of two macho men in a stereotypical macho job being comfortable enough with one another to cry and breakdown and talk about their feelings and hug without it being more than a friendship is wonderful and under appreciated and told. So I love Buck and Eddie for that. And Tommy is great for Buck, he's going to allow buck the freedom to grow and explore this new side of himself without pressure or judgement while at the same time treating him with the love and respect he deserves in a relationship. He is a perfect gentleman and is going to put the effort into this relationship with Buck. Timmy isn't going to get jealous or have a problem with Buck and Eddie being so close, he understands the job and how dangerous it is. The weird hours and shifts thst go longer than intended. He would have a problem with any of thst cuz it's the same for him. He sees Even and wants him and I think that is beautiful because Even does deserve all the love in the world. And I can't wait to see more of these two.

#911 abc #911 #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #bucktommy #tommy kinard #consumedbyfeelsposts

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descendant-of-truth · 1 year

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Y'know what maybe I'm not done talking about Journeys queercoding actually. maybe I do wanna work out my literary analysis muscles for the sake of Pokemon protagonists. why not

To clarify, this isn't about me personally enjoying the ship between Ash and Gou. I do enjoy it, but I'm making an argument for potentially deliberate queercoding in the writing, I'm not necessarily just here to gush (though that may be a side effect)

I'm also a firm believer that actions or behaviors that we typically think of as romantic are only made romantic if that's how the people involved feel about it. I don't think romance is the only possible way to interpret their relationship.

But when it comes to predicting where a story might be going next, or figuring out what the writers are intending to hint at us, I gotta pull out my textbook of Romantic Tropes first to see what fits the bill.

And I'm sorry, but even if it's not the intended interpretation, you can't include all of these scenes:

...and assume no one in your audience will think there's anything romantic happening here.

Of course, those are just the obvious visual interactions between them that can come off as romantic, to say nothing of the symbolic visual hints; the no less than four rainbows they've been under (one of which was reflected in Gou's eye), the two sets of heart-shaped pokemon that swam past them in a single episode which also had them falling under a rainbow, stuff like that.

But even all of that is pretty surface-level stuff. If the writing doesn't support a queer reading very strongly, then my argument for the queercoding being particularly intentional would fall flat.

Thankfully, the writing does support a queer interpretation, so I'm in the clear! Since breaking this part down will take a lot longer, I'm putting it under a cut.

So, right off the bat we've got the basic setup for the show. For the first time, the focus is primarily on Ash and one other person, as opposed to two or more people... despite having a third person in Chloe, who could easily make this into a trio dynamic, considering she's friends with Gou from the start. But they choose instead to make the core of the show about Ash and Gou.

This is even reflected in promotional material, where they'll often be placed closer to each other than Chloe:

Them being roommates is something I usually bring up as a joke, but it is worth noting anyway simply because it's another way the writers have decided they're going to spend almost all of their time together when they really didn't have to.

But now we gotta get into the real Writing Choices(TM) that are the meat and potatoes of this analysis, such as: making brief allusions to the idea that they might like other guys, too

One way to build up a character's orientation is to show them being attracted to people in shorter instances before giving them a main love interest. Think Luz from The Owl House; she had expressed attraction to both boys and girls before she got a girlfriend or started wearing a bi pin.

Likewise, this is Ash when he's thinking about Leon after seeing him battle for the first time:

I kid you not, he keeps up this blush and zoned-out expression for a solid minute, so caught up in thinking about how cool Leon is that he doesn't even think to eat the scones in front of him.

Now, Ash is a person frequently characterized by his love for food, and in previous episodes he had expressed a particular adoration for Galar scones, so this is pretty unusual behavior for him.

So unusual that it's. literally never happened before, to the best of my knowledge?? I don't think it takes much analyzing to realize that, even if it was brief, you could easily take this as Ash having a celebrity crush on Leon.

(There's even pink flowers in the background but that's probably less important)

Meanwhile with Gou, his "setup crush" in this scenario would be Horace. These two have a whole episode dedicated to their first meeting and the bond they forged, and how that turned bitter on Gou's end when he gets stood up right as he thought he was finally making a friend.

What sets this up for a romantic interpretation is largely the framing of things towards the end of the episode:

"Why do I keep thinking of him" is historically not the most platonic thing you could be bitterly thinking to yourself while you remember stargazing with someone, even if I do stand by my statement earlier of nothing being inherently romantic by itself

The end of the episode also implies that the feeling is mutual, if this shot is anything to go off of

(It's just a very shoujo manga-esque frame okay there's no way I wasn't going to point it out)

And the ending scene is two Celebies looking down happily at the two of them while the narrator talks about how pokemon form "many different kinds of bonds"

Many kinds of bonds, huh? Wonder what he could possibly be implying there

Okay so we've got orientation buildup, next in line is this. suspiciously consistent trend of characters who are close to Ash telling Gou to take care of him, or even going out of their way to test him to make sure he's good enough to be his rival or friend.

Gou himself even echoes the sentiment completely unprompted once, which says even more to me that they're trying to make a point out of this:

And here's the thing. None of the other companions have ever undergone this sort of treatment. Nobody questioned whether or not Ash's friends were good enough to hang out with him before, so why now? Why Gou? What makes him different?

Kiawe is relatively easy to explain because (from what I can tell) he's just Like That about rivalries, but why the addition of describing a rival as "the person closest to Ash"? Why does Gary suddenly care about the quality of Ash's buddies when that was never really a concern for him before?

Well gee I don't know about you guys but to me, this feels like the trope where someone's friends and family all start scouting out the guy they're interested in (or who is interested in them) to make sure they won't like, break their heart or something. And despite my best efforts, I'm struggling to see how this wasn't the writers' intention behind these plotlines.

Gou telling Ash's mom that he'll look after Ash on two separate occasions as opposed to the initial one also feels like an easy parallel to someone promising their love interest's parents that they'll be a good partner.

To my understanding, that isn't traditionally something friends also have to promise, even if there's more justification here as Ash and Gou are traveling around and getting into chaotic situations regularly.

So, with all this in mind, it kind of reframes the stuff I mentioned earlier, doesn't it? The blushing, the hand-holding, the spin hug that I'm never getting over, the frequent appearance of rainbows and the heart shaped Pokemon (Luvdisc if you were wondering)... it feels a lot more intentional once you take into account the bigger themes in the writing.

And once you start looking, it keeps piling up. The way Gou hurriedly says that he totally didn't want to help Ash out or anything after Scorbunny gives him a knowing look, like how most tsundere tropes tend to play out:

Or the specific way Gou is taken aback by one of Ash's compliments before trying to play it off by looking cool, only to be comically shocked when Ash gets distracted by something else:

I could go on but I'm running out of image space and I think you get the idea.

Ash's side of this whole thing is admittedly a lot more subtle than Gou's (*cough* because he's arospec) which is why I haven't gone over it much - my aim with this post was not to go too far into speculation territory - but we at least have marketing on our side for that

Gee Ash how come Animedia let you feed Gou two pastries

Anyway, in conclusion: I ran these two through the literary queerometer and the results were positive, thanks for coming to my TED talk

#pokemon #pokeani #anipoke #pokemon journeys #ash ketchum #pokemon gou #journeyshipping #satogou #analysis #meta #Can you tell I started this at a reasonable nighttime hour and finished at 3am #XD #TAKING THESE SCREENSHOTS TOOK SO LONG #especially since I had to backtrack and edit for a lot of them #Finding the animedia posters in decent quality wasn't exactly a cakewalk either

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zorlok-if · 1 year

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Hi everybody,

It's been a while. Sorry that I've been gone so long without explanation or communication, I've been in a bad place. For more info check under the cut. Otherwise, hello! I'm alive and so is this project. Progress has been stalled and will continue to be stalled because this is a hobby and I have to focus on priorities. That doesn't mean that it's dead. I still intend to release everything when I can. I appreciate your support and interest.

Hope you're all well! 😊

Albie

(cw: discussion of bad mental health, anxiety, and depression; school shooting mention)

Okay, hello! Welcome to the rest of this post.

Basically, I've been in a bad mental place for a long time and have a lot of issues that I've left unaddressed or festering—most of which tie back to depression, anxiety, fear, and self-loathing.

To start, I wasn't able to graduate this past winter because I fell one class short of my requirements. That really sent me into a spiral and put a strain on my interpersonal relationships.

Then I tried to take that last class this spring but fear related to recent school shootings exacerbated and activated some bad ND habits and I won't be able to complete this course. That means I still won't be able to graduate until I find some online equivalent or professor who will allow me to remain fully remote.

Around the time I found out I wouldn't be graduating, I also got some really cruel anon hate which added onto how I was already feeling and made me hesitant to put anything else out online.

Other things have happened: family stuff, work stuff, health stuff, sociopolitical stuff, etc. (I don't want to go into details with some and won't burden you with the rest). But, essentially, I found myself at a darker place than normal. I withdrew into myself and have been stewing in crippling self-loathing while wearing a convincing smile in my everyday life. (being really honest with this stuff so that if anyone else is going through/experienced something like this they can know they're not alone)

Fortunately, I was able to get away for a bit and spent some time with loved ones I rarely get to see. I've also made a few irl friends recently and feel like I'm coming back out of my shell and starting to heal after traumatic events and relationships. For the first time in a long time, I feel invigorated. I mean, I still feel like stinking trash, but garbage with a will to live and better itself.

As of right now, I'm moving out and finding more work so I can better support myself financially.

If you've read all this going, where's the Zorlok/(other game) update? Here you go: I've been working on Zorlok somewhat, but in the situation/place where I was at, found myself unable to justify dedicating a lot of time to writing and struggling to feel confident about what I was creating when I actually did sit down to do so. This project is in no way dead and I want to work on it and release games more than anything, but I owe it to myself and other people in my life to keep my priorities in check.

This is a hobby and in the past I dedicated time to it when I should've been doing other things. As long as this is a hobby, I can no longer take time away from my priorities to do something I just want to do (no matter how badly I want to do it). So, that's where we're at. I'm continuing to focus on critical things and stop feeling like a jerk for doing that. I know that this might disappoint some people, but that's how things are right now.

If you want to know more about where things are literally at: I'm close to finishing a heavily updated and expanded prologue but episode one has been undergoing changes. I feel pretty shit about myself and that's seeped into my view on what I create which is in turn stalling my ability to make meaningful progress that I don't immediately want to destroy. I've worked on potential Patreon content (including an exclusive game and a Creating Goncharov director's cut), made a Twine template and tutorial, and made progress on updates for Mousetrap and System Processing. I've avoided making changes to the Zorlok page (and my other itch.io pages) these past few months since I don't want people getting their hopes up seeing some sort of "update" from itch.io—only for that update to be "there's no game update yet." That's why those are still out of date, but I'll be fixing them as soon as I can.

So, that's where we are. I wish that I had way more to talk about and release, but that's not been a possibility and I'm just going to be upfront and honest—even if I am disappointed and somewhat afraid and ashamed to admit it. (that's it for the game updates, the rest just gets back to personal)

In general, I've always struggled with shame and fear and those are the main culprits for why I've been radio silent until now. I couldn't find a way to address these topics or talk about them without my odious inner critic getting triggered and shutting me down. However, I'm trying my best to not listen to that asshole because this (*gestures at everything*) must stop.

To be honest, I'm not content with prolonged existence anymore. I want to live—and that's more than I've been able to say for a long time. To be perfectly honest, for the past decade or so I've lived simply because others wanted me around, not because I wanted to be here. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of indifference being my best hope for how I feel about myself. I'm tired of forcing an apathetic soul to drag my flesh through the muck of living. I don't expect what I experience to improve, in fact things will definitely be getting tougher, but I want to change how I experience it. I want to actively live rather than passively slip by. I want to answer questions like "what do you want to do with your life?" and "what are your plans?" with more than vague shrugs and dead-hearted replies meant to brush people off the topic of the future. I want to stop passing through life as a ghost.

I'm still trying to find the motivation, purpose, or courage to genuinely live for myself instead of existing for other people. I still haven't found my "spark"—that properly and blissfully selfish reason to live—but I think wanting to search is a good start.

Anyways, I'll be around more and I'll be more honest with where I am and what's going on. It's my personal mission to deny fear's control over my life and actions. Part of that means allowing myself to be more open with people even if I'm afraid of judgment or negativity.

Excluding a few outliers, you've all been exceptionally kind and encouraging. I'm always overwhelmed and astonished with the support that's been shown to me and my creative projects and I appreciate you all. Thank you so much. Thank you for reading through this. Thank you for caring. You're part of why I'm around.

I hope that you're having a lovely day/night/et cetera and if you aren't, you're not alone ❤️.

I'll see you around. 😊 Thanks again,

Albie

#hi #albie's corner #update #but not a game update #sorry #just a general update #personal

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miscreantahead · 7 months

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Zoro/Sanji Post Thriller Bark

I've been thinking about Thriller Bark AGAIN so much lately and about how I've never really written anything for them post-thriller bark. So I wrote this little thing, which doesn't feel like enough for my AO3 so I'm just putting it here. Rated M. Tags for uhhh... nonchalant discussion of death? If I were to post this and give it a title, it would be World's Most Sword-Swinging Shithead

----

“Hey, what the hell are you doing here, shouldn’t you be lying down still?” Sanji’s spoke in a slow drawl and lazily waved the spatula at him.

“I’ve been lying down for days,” Zoro dragged his feet walking in.

“Yeah, and you were even more almost-dead than you were at Baratie, so bad dog, go lay down,” he pointed the spatula into the corner for some reason.

“Not tired,” Zoro mumbled, still moving toward him.

“I didn’t say sleep, I said lay down, at least until Chopper clears you to move around,” now he was waving it toward the sky, and with his other elbow raised with his hand on the skillet handle, it gave Zoro the perfect opening to hug him around his middle from behind.

“Wh-wha?” Sanji flailed and struggled for just a second before Zoro let him go.

“Why’d you do that?” Sanji was now holding the spatula with both hands and pointing it in his direction like it was a longsword.

“Because I was almost dead,” Zoro said. and he made a point not to step that far away. In fact, he was close enough that Sanji was able to hold the spatula just under the jut of his chin.

“You’re saying you suffered brain damage, then?” Sanji asked, and his face turned comically sympathetic, “you poor, poor thing…” he caressed Zoro’s cheek with the spatula in a degrading manner.

“Cook,” Zoro growled, grabbing the spatula and shoving it away, “let’s not fuck around right now,” he didn’t intend for his words to come out the way they did. He heard himself, low, hoarse, maybe a little needy, and he saw the expression on the cook’s face change like he’d heard all of that too.

“I want to be with you,” Zoro had no choice but to carry it home, “even just once.”

Sanji’s expression had gone from silly to surprised and now to serious with his brow furrowed, eyes darting around Zoro’s face like he was trying to read some secret hidden within it. It was like he was worried that if he said anything in line with what Zoro was getting at it would be some kind of “gotcha!” He was still reading this like some kind of competition, like some game he was at risk of losing. Zoro wasn’t in the mood for it.

“I almost died,” Zoro’s voice cracked.

“I know that better than anyone, jackass,” Sanji responded through clenched teeth, apparently out of jokes.

“So?” Zoro said, moving closer so their foreheads bumped. “Don’t you want…?” he trailed off, closing his eyes and feeling Sanji ever so slightly press back against him. It was there in a thousand secret looks and just-a-little-longer-than-necessary touches. Something was happening between them, since Skypeia at least, and Zoro was sure it wasn’t one-sided. He was also sure that the damn cook’s mind was a conundrum he might never be able to solve, so he didn’t have a clue if this approach would work.

Sanji still hadn’t responded, but when Zoro opened his eyes his were shut, like he too was just quietly feeling it, their closeness. Zoro wondered how long it would take him to actually verbalize his position, but decided that perhaps he didn’t need to. If he didn’t want to say it, then Zoro could help him around that.

His lips were already only inches away, all Zoro had to do was tilt the orientation of his own head so their mouths touched instead of their foreheads. He started to move, slowly, until he was close enough to feel Sanji take a deep breath inward. When their lips met, it was the slightest ghost of a touch, but Zoro felt an urge to lift his hand and place it flat against the left side of the cook's chest.

His heart was pounding, so fast and loud and Zoro didn’t realize until he could feel it, that he could also hear it.

“Cook,” Zoro voice was weak against his lips.

The response he got was arms around his neck and a searing kiss as the cook surged into the kiss and tugged Zoro close to him. Their hips bumped and Zoro felt the hardness against his thigh for just a moment but he chased that feeling, crowding the cook back against the counter and pinning his narrow waist under the press of his abs and rolling his hips up so Sanji could feel that he was in a similar, or possibly more severe state.

The kiss broke then, Sanji broke it, but didn’t otherwise move, he just looked into Zoro’s eyes with surprise on his face. His expression looked foggy, but like there may have been something akin to reservation far beneath a cloud of desire in his glossed over-eyes and kiss-swollen lips that hung open to accommodate little puffs of breath.

Then a new emotion swept over that face, one Zoro was intimately familiar with: rage.

“Do you remember what you did, you son of a bitch?” Sanji hissed, arms unwinding from around Zoro’s neck, fingers instead viciously curling into and pulling the collar of his shirt instead.

“You knocked me out, threw me aside, left me there without a word while you went off to die,” he spat, literally spat, Zoro could feel the wet drops hitting his face, “and then when I woke up I had to be the one to try and find you because no one else knew why you weren’t there. I went looking and the whole time, every corner I turned I thought I’d see your bloody, mutilated, crumpled corpse somewhere dead—,”

Zoro placed a hand gently on the side of his face and it stopped his ranting.

“I didn’t have a choice,” Zoro said, earning a hardened glare, “but I’m still alive, somehow. And I do have a choice about what to do next, that’s why I’m here.”

“So, what, you realized you forgot to cross fucking me off your bucket list so—,”

“Cook,” Zoro interrupted, calm, because he didn’t want to be like this. Not right now, just this once, he needed it to be different.

“I know,” Sanji croaked, “but I don’t want to have to rush this, okay? Whatever it is, I don’t want to force it, I want to feel like we have all the time in the world. I want—,” he stopped, and looked Zoro in the eye, expression serious but no longer with anger, “—I need more time,” he said.

Zoro’s heart twisted in his chest.

“So just don’t fucking die, okay? Don’t you have to become the world’s most sword-swinging shithead?” He snapped again, “…fucking idiot…” he grumbled, and then Zoro watched him start to unravel, remained still as he collapsed enough for his head to fall and rest against Zoro’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” Sanji whispered against him.

“For what?”

“Saving Luffy, and all of us, and…” he muffled the next word by pressing his mouth against Zoro’s skin but Zoro heard it, “…and me.”

Zoro kissed his hair, then released a heavy sigh into it so the strands on top of his head fluttered around.

“So, about my bucket list…” Zoro mumbled.

“No,” Sanji drew back, and looked him in the eye again, “not right now for a million reasons, starting with because I’m literally in the middle of breakfast,” he gestured toward the simmering happening on the stove, “because I can’t look at you right now without being pissed that you tried to leave, and because I’m going to need to be more than a line on a bucket list, jackass, but if that’s what I am then I’ll stay uncrossed just to keep you alive.”

“More?” Zoro latched onto just one word and pressed for explanation, and Sanji’s eyes widened.

“Ah, well…” he wiggled free of any of Zoro’s extremities and turned around to face the stove again, removing the lid and starting to stir.

Zoro released the breath he’d been holding and a relaxed smile crept over his face as he slowly wrapped his arms around the cook from behind again.

“That’s all I needed to hear,” he said, and squeezed.

“Yeah, yeah,” Sanji muttered, “now go back to bed.”

fin More of my bullshit at https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patchratt

#zosan #zoro/sanji #sanzo #zsz

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aaronontherun · 4 days

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Okay, there are two things about the ending of GO S2 that I cannot get out of my head after finishing the rewatch:

1. Gabriel's descent to earth

2. Aziraphale's reaction to the offer of Metatrash

(The rest under the cut)

The thing about Gabriel's descent to earth is that when he comes down to earth, he has not been fired yet. He decides to come down.

What's interesting about this is that in the last few minutes of the last episode Gabriel says his original plan was to leave heaven to go to hell, to join Beelzebub.

The quote goes:

Beelzebub: "Silly, silly angel. Why?"

Gabriel: "I was coming to you, but I... I forgot."

So... he had not been fired yet (because he left heaven before Michael and the lot could get a hold of him again). And he had originally planned to go to Beelzebub ("oh, you're sending me to hell, aren't you?" -> he was kind of counting on that). But after hearing he will lose his memory and go down to earth, he decides to ditch that plan and make himself forget all of it to go to earth (where he did not really intend to go in the first place) to give a box to Aziraphale that says "I am in the fly", that he knows will make him remember.

Why?

My working theory is that since he was the highest ranking angel, he knew about the plans of heaven. He knew about the second attempt at Armageddon of course and he did not want that to happen, because of his love for Beelzebub and the war that would break out. But I reckon he also already knew about the Second Coming.

And by wiping his own memories, he deleted that knowledge for all of heavens associates. But by storing it in the fly and transporting that to earth instead of hell, he brought it to the safest place he knew.

"The Second Coming will be a fearful, mournful time for the wicked, but it will be a day of peace for the righteous."

I don't know if I am reading something into it here, but to me it also sounds like a clue. The only other pair that kind of unites the powers of heaven and hell like Gabriel and Beelzebub is Aziraphale and Crowley. And we know that connection to be quite a strong one (as seen by the "teeny tiny miracle" that ended up sounding every god damn alarm bell in heaven). Crowley is a fallen angel and does not particularly care for heaven or hell and Aziraphale is still an angel and also does not conform with everything that heaven does. And Gabriel knows that.

BUT as far as we know, neither Aziraphale nor Crowley have had contact with the fly or the memories. For now we only know Gabriel kept his memories out of heaven by going to Aziraphale and that he probably knew more than he let on.

The question is, does the fly still exist or did it get destroyed when it went into Gabriels eye?

Also, given the CLUE that takes up almost half an episode - the part of the song that we don't really get to hear is this:

"Everyday seems a little longer,

Every way, love's a little stronger"

Everything we have seen points to an ending where you don't have to choose a side. Where there is no need to categorize into black and white, but to just accept shades of grey. Which is obstructed by heaven (the big corporate agenda, that needs people to think in black and white) and hell (which holds the outcasts that could not keep up with the agenda, but still cling onto it in their own competitive way).

Okay and this is the perfect transition to Aziraphales reaction to the Metatrons offer.

Because after years (or millennia in Aziraphale's case) of being oppressed and silenced and having to be careful around everything he says, I think Metatrons offer to put him in charge of heaven is in Aziraphale's eyes the only perspective of ever getting out of his misery while still doing good.

He *could* have given up heaven and fallen like Crowley, joining him that way, but instead he takes the route of trying to take Crowley with him to the very top of heaven.

Which, in my eyes, is a very very clear sign of the abusive relationship he has with heaven.

I don't think he realises that he is still just a pawn in a big chess game, also and especially as archangel of heaven.

As both Beelzebub and Gabriel said: "As if we make the rules..."

That is not how it works.

(I also find it very interesting, that the voice of god (basically the manager of heaven) asks if anyone ever "asks for death" (I mean, come on) whereas god, talking to Job, is genuinely fascinated by him and his goodness.)

I don't know if I can put this thought process into proper words, but I feel like the problem is that Aziraphale is still clinging to the whole concept of "doing good" and preserving his own status in the organisation. I don't think he is going up there to "change it from the inside" with a wicked plan in mind. When the Metatron made the offer, he told him that he would be "such a good leader, kind and honest", "be able to make a difference, be put in charge of everything". Which is exactly how they get you. He did not tell him he would be in charge of the second coming right off the bat. He lured him with being able to make everything better for everyone (which is all Aziraphale really wants) while keeping and continuing to receive approval from above (which Aziraphale is so afraid of losing).

Which is also what he tells Crowley about. The trust he is being given, the opportunity to make a change, the opportunity for Crowley to regain validation from heaven.

And only when he has accepted the offer, the Metatron specifies the details of the deal and that "doing good for everybody" means initialising the Second Coming, that has already been well planned (and that is everything Aziraphale never wanted to be a part of, but he won't disappoint them by saying no now).

"We could have been us" feels so powerful in that context, because I feel like what it really meant was "we could have been us without the approval of anyone". Without the need to justify their actions, think about right or wrong in the sense that heaven or hell would have categorized them. The freedom to work as a team, as the shades of grey they naturally are, containing both "good" and "evil" in a way that they balance each other, not desperately trying to put one of them out. (Also worth noting here, that throughout the seasons Aziraphale *has* done "evil", but only if he could somehow twist it to be "good" (see the episode with Wee Morag, right?), which showcases the pointlessness of categorizing again).

"I forgive you" from Aziraphale is such a heartbreaking line here, too. Because it is not him speaking, really. It is him already speaking in place of the organisation he is going to work for. "I forgive you for not regaining approval. I still love you."

"Don't bother", Crowley says and his whole posture drops. "For me it was never about that."

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens meta #good omens fan theories #metatrash #good omens gabriel #good omens 2 #good omens s2

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littlebitsmile · 4 months

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in flames [C.L.] | Chapter II

Happy New Year everyone! Hopefully you're going to enjoy 2024 and everything what is in store for us (and maybe it's a great start, since you decided to stop by and read this chapter). Thanks for the support and here's to all our dreams and hopes!

story: in flames driver: Charles Leclerc [C.L.] trope: #haterstolovers summary: Always working three times as hard as everyone else, Emma does not intend to blow her chance of driving among the best of the best in her very first season in Formula 1. Concentrating on first and foremost getting ahead of her brother, she does not even notice that there are some people even in her own team who think she does not deserve this spot and would rather see her fail. And one driver in particular seems to have a need of always reminding her of that.

────ʚ C H A P T E R II ɞ────

I feel out of place in my dress, which barely reaches my knees and whose sequins sparkle in the right light. I've been sipping on a glass of champagne for an hour. I feel like I've been transported back to the end-of-season party, which I was only invited to because Max insisted on having me on the list.

Today I have to laugh at the thought. The only person who was and still is reasonably nice is Fernando, and I'm sure that's only because I'm his teammate.

"Everything okay?" asks Max, who stands next to me with what is now his third glass of champagne and puts his right arm around my shoulders.

"Couldn't be better," I murmur. "Do you know if Dad's coming, too?"

I look around the room. Max has been planning this New Year's Eve party since last year, sparing no expense or effort. The bar, which normally operates under the name 'SHADES,' has been transformed into a nightclub for today. Balloons and confetti are flying everywhere; the lights are dimmed, and I can feel the bass of the music more strongly in my chest than I can actually hear it.

"I hope he knows how to stay away today." My brother's announcement doesn't shock me at all. We're off-season, so a little partying shouldn't normally have too much of an impact, but our dad has always been…special.

"Come with me; I'll introduce you to a few people." With that, I take a last sip from my glass, put it down, and then follow my brother, who is walking towards a group of three.

He puts his arm around my shoulders again before toasting the boys and then introducing me: "Guys, this is my sister, Emma. Emma, this is…"

"Oscar, hi! And you're Lando, right? Great racing last season, really! I may have placed bets on you guys once or twice." I shake hands with both of them in turn, eliciting a smile. They're both my age, which is probably why I find it so easy to connect with them.

"It's an honor. But don't worry; we won't spare you next year," Lando whispers and curtsies exaggeratedly. I laugh and feel the tension fall away from me a little.

"Man, I hope there's still room on the podium next to you and Max." Oscar mumbles to himself, jokingly, but he's saying what everyone is expecting. A sensation, a sibling duo that sells well, unique in racing. But I will probably have to disappoint them about claiming a spot on the podium.

"And even if there's still room, Oscar, I'm going to claim it. Daniel, hi." A familiar grin I grew up with while watching TV and attending races when Max participated. I'm a little nervous, but shaking hands warms my heart.

We talk for a while, and I can't help but look at my brother from time to time. How easy it is for him to crack jokes with the others. He used to be the shy one of the two of us, completely focused on racing, and nothing could cloud his thoughts. Until his first world championship title, he had an incredible burden on him; at least that's how I imagined it. We never talked about it. Now he is more relaxed, enjoying his time with his girlfriend and their daughter, almost as if he could get used to the idea of being a father. Almost as if racing no longer occupies 90% of his thoughts. I'm happy for him every day, but I can't help but feel that all eyes are on me now.

I've often wondered whether I shouldn't just get out and do something else. Become a teacher or a photographer. I could still stay in racing, just not actively anymore. But a family of racers doesn't give up, so here we are.

"So, you're the one who took Théo's seat in Formula 1 away from him, even though he won the F2 Championship. Are you proud of that?" a voice behind me calls out. I turn around and look the man who interrupted the group conversation in the eye.

"You must be Charles, right? Nice to meet you." I try to be friendly. If there's one thing I've learned in the last few years, it's that my brother can get away with a lot more than I can. I can't read as many newspaper articles as would be printed in the next four hours claiming that I'm irrational and too emotional for racing. Headlines littered with yet more theories about why I'm going to fail this year, stemming from a conversation I'm having with a half-arsed Monegasque whose ego is bruised because a driver friend of mine didn't get a seat in Formula 1. Surprise surprise, life isn't fair.

"I'm afraid I can't say the same" he replies. His tone is disparaging, and I can't tell if it's the alcohol talking or if he's always like this.

"Charles, bro, pull yourself together. This is Emma, Max's sister.", Daniel tries to intervene, unsuccessfully.

"I know who she is. The second privileged Verstappen who cost a good driver his seat. On pure speculation." He spits the words out in front of us. Lando and Oscar try to look in a direction other than his, while Daniel scratches the back of his head. I know how much the fans love Charles Leclerc; I see tons of edits and videos, just as I know he usually deals with the other drivers in a friendly manner.

"I'm not sure if my gender or my surname is the problem, but I guess we'll have this discussion on the track. Unfortunately, I'll only be able to see your facial expressions through my rear-view mirror."

"Cherie, if you drove the way you talk, you wouldn't need the surname or the gender to ride with us. But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. After all, you've never played with the big boys."

"That's right, it's only been men so far. But you don't seem to be one of them. Maybe that's why you've had more accidents than successes this season: because you still drive like a boy." His look gives me a little satisfaction. I'm not usually one for confrontation, but I already hear these sentences from reporters and my father on a regular basis - so I can confidently do without his comments.

"Soooooo…dance floor, anyone?" Oscar interjects. I can't blame him.

Charles and I are having a silent staring contest. I'm still undecided whether he's going to throw himself at me and try to strangle me in the next twenty seconds or whether he's going to take the fight to the track - and if I'm honest, I'm not particularly keen on either situation.

"One vote for Tequila," I say, giving Charles a smug smile and then turning away from the group. I must get to the bar. Now. Before I think too much about what the others think of me and whether they might be right.

I hear Max briefly apologize to the others and follow me. "Don't listen to him; he's had a difficult season this year and…" he starts.

"I know, Max. That's why I'm going for a drink now and forget this conversation." I clear my throat as I massage my right temple. We do not need drama.

"He's really nice, I promise. He just needs a little time to… soften up," Max continues as we stop at the bar. Then he lifts his hand to signal the bartender, mouths "Tequila," and holds up two fingers.

"It's okay, I promise. He's not the first, and he won't be the last to throw his thoughts at me."

Max nods but is still lost in thought. The barman puts the two shot glasses down in front of us, smiles, gives Max a high five, and then turns his attention to the next guests.

My brother pushes a glass toward me and holds the second one up between us. I confirm one last time: "It's okay! Don't worry about it." before I throw my head back, and the tequila burns down my throat. Then I hook Max and drag him onto the dance floor - after all, this is a party.

For the past two hours, I've been trying to behave a little more like a Verstappen, even though 99% of the time I'm distancing myself from the male family members. But apparently, the F1 circus confuses kindness and empathy with weakness, and the last thing I want to be accused of before the season starts is being weak. Oscar, Lando, and Daniel keep me company throughout the evening, and finally, I can talk about topics other than racing.

Daniel tells stories from Australia, the prejudices about the country, how a snake hides in his shoes in winter, and that's why he always wears different ones, so he doesn't scare it away. Lando talks about rainy England, how his coolest Christmas present was a new part for a kart, how much he misses his parents, and why he sees streaming as the perfect way to give something back to his fans beyond Formula 1. Oscar gesticulates wildly as he talks about his sprint win in Qatar before we bring him down from his high for a bit. He then talks about his girlfriend Lily with a lovesick look on his face, then Daniel and Lando make copycat moves to wipe that topic off the table too.

I laugh, but I understand him. It's not easy being a youngster, especially when you're one of the youngest drivers in the paddock.

I drift away from the conversation when it comes to vacation plans for the new year. For the first time, I consciously let my gaze wander around the room, away from the black-clad bar and the chandelier hanging above it and towards the window front directly opposite and the adjoining terrace. The view of the skyline melts my heart. Fireworks light up here and there, accompanied by a muffled bang that you can only hear in here if you concentrate really hard. There are already so many people on the dance floor that I doubt how many of them Max really knows well and which of them he has randomly bumped into and handed an invitation to.

I spot Max in the middle of the hustle and bustle, sipping his gin and tonic carefreely and bobbing awkwardly. He is surrounded by people holding up cell phones, wanting to capture the moment or perhaps just wanting to post that they are celebrating the new year with THE Max Verstappen. I wave to Lando, Oscar, and Daniel, gesturing for them to join Max on the dance floor. Suddenly, there's no fear of the year ahead, no headlines in my mind, no worries about my performance or how well I'll fit into my new team. There is only gratitude and anticipation and no room for negativity.

"Three. Two. One. Happy New Year!" shouts the crowd as the countdown echoes through the club. Most of them stand outside on the terrace and watch the fireworks over the skyline. I've stopped counting how many faces have introduced themselves to me; I probably won't be able to remember them in six hours anyway. If they're important, I'll get to know them in a professional setting, I'm sure of it.

"Happy New Year, Emma!" Kevin shouts in my ear. I remember him—the reporter from the last press conference. The only one who wants to see a woman lose her seat in Formula 1 even less than I do, without having had the chance to show what she can do. I hug him, thank him, and, as if it were a secret ritual, we clink glasses.

"Here's to kicking a few doubters' asses next year!" I shout back. I'm sure no one else heard me.

Nevertheless, I look around the room and catch Max winking at me and raising a glass. Somewhere I see Lando hitting on a woman who is obviously not interested in him. Then I spot Oscar typing furiously on his cell phone, presumably to wish his girlfriend a happy new year—at least I hope it doesn't extend to adult texts. Then I see Daniel climbing up onto the bar to fire the confetti cannon in his hand and fire up the crowd.

And somewhere in the middle is Charles, relaxed and relaxed, talking to the people standing next to him and laughing out loud. I wonder what I've done to him, but I don't waste my time any longer.

I've often been asked what I expect from 2024, and finally, I can give an answer: Here's to revenge on the track.

────ʚ [Masterlist] [Chapter I] [Chapter III (in progress)] ɞ────

#f1 #f1 fanfic #formula 1 #charles leclerc #slow burn #f1 imagine #haters to lovers

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inevitably-johnlocked · 9 months

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A Breakdown of My Thoughts On Good Omens S2

(That may or may not also be a meta about my predictions for the future interwoven in)

Hey All!

All right, I’ve officially watched Good Omens Season 2 twice, and am almost done my third time through, and I want to put out some thoughts before I start reading other people’s meta about S2 so that my initial thoughts aren’t influenced by those. I was GOING to post it to my GO blog @inevitably-ineffable-husbands first, but decided instead to make the initial post here since this is my largest audience (my GO blog is mostly a reblog blog, but it’s been pretty active the past week with people sending me asks there!).

During my second watch-through, I took some notes about stuff I wanted to expand upon. This got a bit messy, long, and disorganized so I tried to just clean up those notes so they’re more legible. I think I inevitably want to write separate meta about each section, especially after my next few rewatches (AND especially since I want to talk more about 3 or four Big Thoughts that I have about S3).

This meta turned out to be a lengthy essay-style meta with a few bits of point form and free thoughts, broken into sections for easier consumption, so I hope you will give it a read through. It’s longer than I intended (it’s about 5,000 words), so if you need to pause anywhere, I’ve conveniently broken it up into sections below the cut, which you can see the breakdown of here:

Before The Beginning

Crowley is A-Major-Angel Theory (or The Angel That Crowley Might Actually Have Been)

Maggie and Nina (Mirrors. It’s about mirrors)

The Ineffable Bureaucracy (MORE MIRRORS YAY I LOVE DYING!)

Crowley and Aziraphale (& Their Relationship Arc) (which includes my thoughts on THAT moment and why it was wrong)

The Metatron and Aziraphale’s Decision (I actually covered a large chunk of this on THIS POST so you can read just that if you want instead)

Other Things (That I Didn’t Know Where Else to Put)

Final Thoughts

Also, so it’s not hidden under the cut, here are the things I’m interested in expanding upon in the future, if you guys would like to read more. The first one is the only “for sure” one on my plate right now:

A Thought on AziraCrow from an A-Spec Perspective [REDUX]: An expansion on the above-linked meta I put out a week ago about their relationship arc and how I feel it’s being portrayed and what it means foor the future.

THAT Scene Small Thoughts: And its importance RIGHT NOW and why the confession will be so much more powerful in S3. Actually I think I MIGHT cover this in the AziraCrow meta, but I DO want to expand upon the scene anyway regardless.

And I don’t have many things to say as of finishing this meta, but I would like to put out my thoughts on why Aziraphale made That Choice. (EDIT: It would be an expansion on THIS POST which would include some points I made under the cut in the various sections, compiled together. I know I’ll have more thoughts as the weeks move on and as I understand the scene more and more).

Anyway, I hope you enjoy what I’ve written! The next meta I’d like to tackle is the Relationship Redux meta, provided that the asks I got in my inbox aren’t going to take up too much of my time.

Feel free to add your thoughts in the reblogs and replies as usual! I welcome other opinions and thoughts, and I will try my best to keep all the threads together. This blog is and will always remain a community project! :)

PLEASE be advised, in that case, that Spoilers WILL BE in the notes, and OBVIOUSLY there are spoilers below the cut for the entire season! Cheers, and thank you! Enjoy!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

BEFORE THE BEGINNING

I have running theory that’s kind of on strings right now, but I feel like Aziraphale feels responsible for Crowley’s Fall, that he feels he didn’t do enough to help prevent it, which may explain his actions in Episode 6.

Now, I’m not saying that the entire reason he spends so much time with Crowley is because of some underlying guilt, NOT AT ALL (just a small part of it), but more that he feels like he could have done more to dissuade Crowley from asking questions – It’s why he spends their entire lives trying to convince Crowley he is good! Aziraphale loved seeing an angel so happy with what they were doing, and his warnings were making Crowley unhappy. Instead, Aziraphale decided to compliment Crowley on his work to make him smile again. I think it’s absolutely something to note since this scene and the finale of E6 suspiciously bookend each other, meant to be compared and contrasted with each other.

When Azzie is presented with the opportunity to give Crowley back something he loved doing – being happy making galaxies – Aziraphale took it, because he knows how much Crowley struggles with his own sense of self.

Unfortunately, Azzie thinks Crowley’s inner turmoil is because of who he is and his status as a demon, not because Aziraphale is literally his whole raison d’être and why Crowley keeps coming back to him – he’s only ever truly happy being around Aziraphale.

Crowley, in turn, has become Azzie’s own reason for being, he just sadly hasn’t come to that conclusion yet at this point in the story. Aziraphale thinks that by being the Supreme Archangel, he will have the authority to make things RIGHT, not knowing the info that we as an audience have through Crowley that that is FAR from the truth. I’ll go more into it in my Metatron section below.

Basically I’m saying that this sequence at the beginning exists to show who Aziraphale is as a person, an angel who struggles with his OWN sense of self and his desire to do good and make people happy. Aziraphale is so consumed with believing that he can change things if only he has some control over a situation, then it can all be better; he fails to see that he already has everything he wants right in front of him. He doesn’t think he can TRULY be with Crowley safely unless something changes the status quo, and he naïvely thinks that taking the job is the best way to do so. I think next season we will see Aziraphale finally understand that he CAN’T be “free” until he accepts that he and Crowley ARE better as one.

Another note I wanted to make about this is just an aside commentary: Aziraphale ABSOLUTELY was smitten by Crowley. I suspect until he met Crowley, Aziraphale had never seen another angel be so joyous in his work. It intrigued Azzie and blossomed into something-unknown in him.

Azzie was smitten since before the beginning, and that he indeed pines for Crowley. He’s just terrified about what happens After if he were to do anything about it.

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CROWLEY-IS-RAPHAEL THEORY (or another Top-Ranking Angel)

This is one of my favourite theories that circulates in the fandom, and I went into a bit of detail about this on this post here, but I want to expand more upon it briefly (hah).

I think this season further proved Crowley was A Big Angel™ before he Fell (not necessarily Raphael, but it IS the prominent theory about his identity). It’s a Big Point that I think they’ve been planting the seeds for in both seasons so that we as the audience can figure it out; maybe not exactly WHO Crowley was (the general audience wouldn’t know about the theory), more that Crowley was indeed a higher ranking angel than all of them. This could be a big reveal in S3 for the general audience, and will be the reward for the “easter eggs” that the fans picked up on.

Here are the clues that I have so far, both from the fandom theories for S1, and my own observations of S2... I have not read any meta yet as of writing this, so I probably missed some if people are talking about it:

Raphael is notably missing from the main Archangels. It’s very odd, because he was a prominent figure in a story about Abraham

When we first see Crowley in S2, we see him as the primary creator of the universe. That kind of task isn’t given to just any angel. We knew in S1 that Crowley created stars, just not the full story of it.

The only Top Angel who recognizes Crowley is Saraqael and we don’t find that out until Episode 6. They mention that the two worked together during the creation of a nebula. Saraqael is just as old as Crowley and was there Before the Beginning as well. Michael, Uriel, and Gabriel don’t recognize Crowley when they come down during Job’s trials, meaning that Crowley probably Fell before they came to be Top Level Angels.

“A throne, a dominion or ABOVE” is who Muriel said were the only angel classes that could open the file on Gabriel, and Crowley literally just opens it without issue. Crowley faffs it off as an old password (but even then, why would he HAVE an old password for a confidential file?) but I think it’s more true that he actually had and hasn’t lost the clearance he had as a higher order of angel. Muriel NEVER stated that an Archangel can open the file at ALL. BUT I think Gaiman’s Archangels are technically top of the chain so they possibly are able to open the files as well. For shits and giggles, I actually looked into the orders of angels: Muriel’s listed angels are part of the top 4 levels of Angel rankings. Now, I know that the authors took creative liberty with Capital A-Archangels for story purposes, but it’s a very interesting thought, isn’t it? I wonder if Crowley was actually one of the first Supreme Archangels? Just something to nibble on until S3.

The INSANE power level of HALF of a bit of a small miracle from TWO people that can raise 25 dead people is very interesting thing to literally flash red in your face as if to say “THIS IS A REALLY IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER, DON’T FORGET IT”. Why? Why make this the catalyst of events in the series if it’s not important and won’t be brought up again? Was Crowley’s power the one that set off alarms in Heaven since his part was to hide Gabe from Heaven?

The writers have deliberately avoided giving us Crowley’s name in Before the Beginning. Crowley has a penchant for changing his name when he wants to distance himself from the past, and there’s a good chance he purposely threw away his Heavenly (dead) name to cast aside any memories of that former life. It’s not who he is anymore, nor who he wants to be ever again.

Crowley constantly references the problems with Heaven, stuff that Aziraphale seems to have no knowledge of.

Crowley has an uncanny sense of where Aziraphale is and what he’s up to at all times. Actually, he’s able to sense trouble from everyone regardless. NOW, this might be down to him just... being so smitten with Aziraphale that perhaps he’s purposely attuned his senses to him, but none of the other angels nor demons seem to be able to do this unless it’s with their own kind. Crowley seems to have it for everyone. This is an odd power for one “measly demon” to have.

I’m certain I’m missing a few other easter eggs here that were mentioned, but in the interim, I think these definitely the ones that are worth noting.

“One Character Split Into Two”

I’ve seen a theory that ties into the Angel Theory where Crowley and Aziraphale are actually two parts of the SAME angel, Raphael, and I only remembered it after I saw this quote from David and Michael’s interview:

“Well, now we’re playing one character that’s sort of split into two”

Interesting choice of words... Did one of them slip up here? I don’t think that this is the case, that it’s just me over-reading into an interview quote, but it is something I did came across in my readings of the Raphael Theory that I thought I should mention.

While trying to find a couple posts to link to for this theory, I came across this super interesting post regarding Aziraphale’s name meaning in Hebrew, and it does list ONE of the “unlikely” possibilities being that it means “Raphael is my strength”. While the author links this to be part of Crowley!Raphael theory, I kind of like it for the Duality Theory, where Crowley IS Azzie’s strength in the sense that he’s the Emotional Support Demon. Crowley IS kind and gentle and protective of Aziraphale. And Azzie, who gets his strength from Raphael Crowley, is the brains (or main single braincell carrier) of the operation.

Kind of like an overly-romantic version of soulmates, literally One Soul split into two people who are meant to find each other again and become whole.

Also, I go back to my point about their power being ASININE at less than half each. WHY IS THIS POSSIBLE? A theory: They are stronger than an Archangel’s miracle together, so it’s not absurd to speculate that it was stronger because it was finally at its full power with the SINGLE soul concocting the miracle.

Anyway, this Duality Theory is probably definitely not the case since we see them both Before the Beginning, BUT we can argue that the scene we saw was their first introduction after being split... Aziraphale just HAPPENS to zoom by, the only single angel in the area? Hmm.

I ALSO just want to say that perhaps when they body-swapped, that may have also activated dormant “together” powers within themselves? Just a little thought I had while writing this section.

Aziraphale is Raphael and Doesn’t Remember

And finally, there’s the theory that they will pull a Shyamalan and reveal that it’s Azzie that’s actually Raphael. I honestly think this is the least likely scenario, given that all the clues they’re putting in the show don’t at all point to this, other than the possible entomology of his name (I read somewhere that Gaiman initially was going to spell it Aziraphael to coincide with the naming conventions of the other Angels) could be a play on the Raphael name and it’s Aziraphale who’s actually the missing Raphael.

I don’t think it’s this at all, for the record. I just wanted to point it out since it is a theory that I’ve seen thrown around linked to the Raphael Theory.

Regardless of which theory it is, I just CANNOT get it out of my head at how often they kept bringing up elements of Crowley’s past, and I just.... mmmm. I know he’s more Important than he lets on. There’s just too many eggs dropped in this season for me to let it go without a bit of grumbling.

Or maybe I’m just looking too much into it. *shrugs* I can’t help it, reading between the lines is a hobby of mine I do so enjoy.

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MAGGIE AND NINA

UGH, I absolutely love character mirrors... I love seeing the parallels of characters and how they’re supposed to represent the protagonists in situations.

Regarding Maggie and Nina, upon rewatching the series, I see now that Nina is primarily Aziraphale’s mirror and Maggie is Crowley’s.

For Maggie, as an expansion on a drunken post during my liveblogging:

She’s smitten (”pathetically in love”) with someone just out of reach, hopelessly pining and watching from afar.

She’s STUPIDLY protective of and adores Mr. Fell and Nina.

She, like Crowley with Aziraphale, attempts to make Nina happy: She gives a record as a gift without thinking about the “after” (Crowley tends to do the same)

She’s stands up to the demons and for herself.

She’s “unloved and unloveable”, which Crowley believes himself to be

She’s the one who thought up the plans to get them out of trouble

For Nina:

Fussy and stuck in her ways

Doesn’t want to disappoint but can’t seem to do right by anyone

“we’re just friends, well, we hardly know each other” (which I believe is a line similar to one Aziraphale said in S1)

Afraid to start a new relationship for fear of not being good enough

Makes their love interest wait and hopes they’ll be there when the time is right (She will be)

Her relationship with Lindsay appears to me to be a parallel for Azzie’s relationship with Heaven, with them being "done” with Aziraphale for one too many indiscretions. Lindsay also accuses Nina of “cheating” which Aziraphale technically does with choosing Crowley over Heaven

Their inevitable NOT match-made is a gentle parallel to the painful NOT match-made by our heroes. There’s a bump in the road, and when they’re both ready, they’ll eventually get together.

Also, another thing I wanted to note here, is that Nina’s VERY heartfelt conversation with Crowley is super, SUPER important to AziraCrow’s arc, and I believe it is the catalyst to why Crowley made the decision to try to confess in Episode 6. Like, he genuinely looks like he’s re-evaluated a few things after Nina walks away. And because it was the Aziraphale mirror stating this, Crowley perhaps starts to get ideas in his head that maybe Azzie is ready to move forward, since “it certainly looks like [you’re a couple from the outside]”. Why not make it official then? Maybe Aziraphale IS just waiting for Crowley to make the move.

Food for thought.

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THE INEFFABLE BUREAUCRACY

I don’t have much to honestly say about this one, other than I am SHOCKED that it only took them 4 years to figure their shit out but our idiots still are at first base after 6000 years. Get your asses moving, idiots!

Seriously though, they’re the biggest pair of mirrors in the season, but funnily enough, I think Gabriel is Crowley’s, and Beez is Azzie’s.

Gabriel, like Crowley to Azzie, introduces human things to Beez.

Gabe questions Heaven and convinces Beez to question their side... essentially he “Falls” when the trial happens, abandoning Heaven.

Gabe throws everything away to be with Beez.

Beez is the one who learns from Gabe, just like Azzie learns from Crowley.

Beez compares themself to Aziraphale: “I imagine he took better care of you than I would have”.

Beez calling Gabe “you silly, silly angel”... Aziraphale called Crowley silly in the first half of the season.

And as an aside, just... the casual “I love you” from Gabe is like an unfiltered Crowley. Because I am certain Crowley will be the first to say it.

That’s just a super simplified version of it all, but just wanted to point it out so y’all can see where I’m coming from on why I think that.

And I REALLY BELIEVE that Aziraphale will repeat this or a similar line to Beez’s in S3:

“I just found something that mattered more to me than choosing sides.”

I think it will be the line before the climax of S3 that Aziraphale says when he finally rejects Heaven. Because that was a POWERFUL line, and it will solidify the mirrors and parallels that are all over this season. I feel like Heaven won’t suffer the same incident happening twice, so we might even finally get to see a ridiculously protective, vengeful angel Aziraphale, to rival all of Protective Crowley moments! WHAT a payoff that would be after two seasons of him just kind of sitting idly by not standing up for himself, eh?? GOD I want it.

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CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE (& THEIR RELATIONSHIP ARC)

I have just a few notes to immediately take away from S2, but I do plan on expanding more upon these thoughts in my Revision of my A Thought on AziraCrow from an A-Spec Perspective meta I wrote prior to S2.

In that meta I state very clearly how important their relationship and its portrayal is to me. I do concede that, because of this fact, I may be biased in my opinions about literally the entirety of S2′s relationship arc. I ADORE Aziraphale and I really see a lot of myself in him, and I can understand why he did what he did at the end, and why the “rejection” happened. But again, I will touch upon that with the revision meta.

Instead, I took some additional notes while I watched and rewatched S2 that I don’t think I can fit well into that meta without ham-fisting it in. I’ll try my best to break it into yummier sections so it’s not so messy.

Protective / Jealous Crowley (and his possible PTSD)

This point deserved its own little section, because it’s one of my favourite things this season. I love just how BLATANTLY PROTECTIVE and JEALOUS Crowley was, to the point of being near-murderous. I LOVE the confrontation scene with Gabriel so much, because it’s SO revealing to just how terrified Crowley is of Aziraphale being hurt and not being in Crowley’s life again.

I imagine he constantly replays the fire in his head: what if Crowley WASN’T there to save Aziraphale that time??? To step into fire for him??? He’s seen how bad No-Azzie would be with the Bookshop Fire, and I think he STILL believes that it was Hellfire that discorporated Azzie (not the accidental summoning circle). So imagine the psyche of a demon who is hopelessly in love with an angel, having to be face to face with the fire that he believes killed Azzie the first time and THEN have Azzie’s boss basically tell Crowley how little he thinks of Aziraphale? Ooof.

And I also will standby the fanon theory that it was Crowley who left all the fire extinguishers in the bookshop, and not Aziraphale. Bless Azzie, he knows that this is a “New Fear Unlocked” in Crowley and lets him do it to ease the anxiety.

And isn’t it funny that Crowley (aside from the 2 year lockdown) seems to have spent every waking moment keeping a steady eye on Aziraphale? He’s scared, which is why I think he might have some PTSD related to everything he’s seen that Aziraphale is blissfully unaware of.

Their Arc and The Kiss

It’s so clear to me now more than before that Aziraphale IS Crowley’s whole life, to the point of obsession. I think the final arc that Crowley has to go through before he can truly be with Aziraphale proper is learning to let Aziraphale also protect him, to loosen the stranglehold that his fear of loss has on him. That Crowley doesn’t have to shoulder everything by himself and be Aziraphale’s shadow. Because that’s what he is in S2 – a lot of scenes of them together in the modern day is Crowley trailing just slightly behind Azzie, always watching and waiting for trouble and being there for him.

I think Crowley has a genuine fear of loss of control similar to Aziraphale’s. Where Azzie’s is related to “well if I can do this thing then everything will be alright”, Crowley’s is “well if I can just keep Aziraphale safe, then everything will be alright” and that’s... not a good foundation for a relationship. Their Big Breakup had to happen for them to both realize this.

Aziraphale has NOT gone through his “lost my partner” arc like Crowley has with the bookshop fire. I go more into it in the Metatron section, but I think that Azzie’s arc will look more like Crowley being used as a leverage tool against Azzie by Heaven, and those seeds were planted in the final moments of E6. Perhaps something DOES happen when Crowley inevitably comes to his rescue, and he also “loses Crowley for good” (but we know that the totally-made-up-just-now law of parallels will bring him back, we hope).

They’re currently at the Miscommunication and Separation stage of their relationship. They’re both so scared of hurting each other that they DON’T communicate... they DON’T expose each other to “bad things” that they know and instead just focus on the good. The breakup had to happen the way it did for Aziraphale to finally Get A Clue – because I honestly don’t think he realized Crowley loved him until the kiss – and that Azzie himself wasn’t the only one with a crush on his best friend. It had to happen that way for Crowley to understand that his overprotectiveness and lying by omission only harms Aziraphale in the long run.

Listen, I think it’s possible that Azzie thinks that Crowley only did the kiss because he didn’t want Aziraphale to leave at that moment, just another “Crowley thing” that he would do. It was piss-poor timing that was at the tail end of too many emotions and anger, and it’s easy to see how Azzie could have interpreted the kiss wrong.

They both expressed wanting to be together, but misunderstandings will ensue because neither of them are good at communicating WHAT exactly "being together” entails. Crowley thinks Azzie means “working together side by side for a shitty company”. Aziraphale thinks Crowley means “just doing what we always do and having fun doing it”, both without shifting the status quo, when in fact they both mean “I can’t see myself with anyone but you and I want you forever in any way we can be, let’s please shift the status quo”.

Then Crowley made the situation worse (though I do think he was VERY brave in doing it because WE the audience know his intentions are true and honest) by adding a kiss into the mix when they’re both upset and angry at each other. Both are left crying (Aziraphale turns around when the Metatron arrives, and there’s NO reason he should unless it’s to wipe his eyes. And Crowley deliberately put his glasses back on, so I think it was to cover up the tears) and no one gets what they truly want.

I think we’ll get a payoff for this next season, when they’re finally BOTH on the same page and NOT misunderstanding each other. I think there will be a “did you mean it?” from Aziraphale, and then a verbalized “I love you (or a variation of those words)” from Crowley, and then the paralleled line of “our side” I mentioned in the Gabe & Beez section. I think there will be a better, more satisfying kiss next season. I really do have faith about that.

Other AziraCrow Things

I saw a meme that put it best: “Aziraphale fell first, but Crowley fell HARDER”. I think Crowley is more comfortable in his pining because he’s not constrained by the same hangups and “obligations” that Aziraphale has. Aziraphale is worried that it’s “sinful” to love a demon.

I mentioned this before in the Raphael section, but I want to reiterate the point about The Miracle, because it’s SUPER important that this was a big plot point. The fact that it was so strong for something apparently so minuscule according to them proves that they are better together, and now that Heaven is aware that their powers combined to create that miracle, they absolutely want to keep the two of them apart. They suddenly became very aware that Aziraphale and Crowley are RIDICULOUSLY stronger together, because if a tiny miracle can set off alarms in Heaven, what can two full miracles combined create? I feel like this is a BIG Chekov’s gun for S3.

I think a large part about why Crowley is offended by Aziraphale’s acceptance of the job offer is because Crowley is upset that he’s not enough for Aziraphale, especially when he rejected Beez’s offer for Aziraphale. His voice shakes when he asked what Aziraphale did. He’s hurt.

THE TOUCHING in this season is insane. It’s so casual and it’s EVERYWHERE. Their relationship, when it’s finally actualized, is going to be heart wrenching in a good way, the “good sort of hurt”. I truly do believe AziraCrow is endgame.

It amuses me to no end that the fact that these two idiots and their one braincell think that they can make a human relationship work when they’ve been mutually pining over each other for 6,000+ years with very little progress. And good lord, they both take their advice from fiction. It’s hilarious.

Aziraphale’s unending faith in Crowley’s “goodness” also kills me. I love that Crowley actually never wants to kill anything, he’s literally just trying to get by without getting caught, and he always gently encourages Aziraphale to do the same. He cares so much about being gentle with Aziraphale. The scene on the rock where Crowley is SO SOFT with Aziraphale melted my heart. It’s so sweet.

I LOVE that it was CROWLEY who got Aziraphale into food and drinks. It explains a LOT about why Crowley likes watching Aziraphale eat. HE did that. It was his first “gift” to Aziraphale (to his knowledge at this stage, when really it was Crowley’s smile at making the universe that really did it).

Crowley’s devotion to making Aziraphale happy while Azzie is just oblivious to how Crowley feels hurts a LOT, but I want to expand more upon this in my followup reblog to my relationship meta. I see myself SO MUCH in Azzie it’s goddamned scary.

Actually, I don’t think Aziraphale is oblivious to be mean, since he makes a point that “rescuing me makes him so happy”, BUT I think Aziraphale might misinterpret Crowley’s devotion as “Crowley wanting to do good” and not “omg he’s in love with me and wants me safe always”. Which I think is why Azzie is naïve enough to believe that Crowley actually WANTS to do good and not get in trouble for it, so thinks that Crowley will jump at the chance to go back to Heaven with him. Aziraphale always saw the rescues and the saving of children and animals on the same level – as a demon fighting against his nature – when in reality it’s a demon who just does what he wants because he cares about everything and Aziraphale happens to be at the top of that list.

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THE METATRON and AZIRAPHALE’S DECISION

This section will be short since I actually covered a large chunk of it in my Manipulation of the Metatron Meta Reply a couple days ago, so please go read that if you’re interested. The shortened, summarized version of that is this:

The Metatron is playing Aziraphale, and he’s only using Aziraphale to bring about Armageddon 2.0, using Aziraphale’s desire to be needed and useful against him. Azzie DIDN’T see what Crowley saw in Heaven when he accessed the files and I don’t think he knows about the Book of Life Threat that was the punishment for harbouring Gabriel, either. Only Crowley knew about that, but didn’t tell Azzie (again, a huge problem in their communication that needs to be worked out).

Heaven and the Metatron KNOW that Crowley is a liability and I suspect they also know how powerful they are together. They needed to drive a wedge between them, and knew Aziraphale was pure-hearted enough to believe that he could make a difference, AND that Crowley would never take up the offer that was presented given his vocal disdain for both Heaven and Hell.

And they chose Aziraphale as opposed to the other angels because the angels actually lust for the power, and that can be unpredictable. But because Azzie has ALWAYS only wanted to do Good with no ulterior motives other than to Make Everything Better, he is easier to manipulate. Crowley is the bargaining chip that will be used against Azzie if he attempts to go rogue like Gabe, that I am pretty certain about. I think that Azzie will find out about the Book of Life because they’ll place blame on Crowley for harbouring Gabriel. Aziraphale has no idea that Gabriel really didn’t have any power. The minute Gabe turned against them, a trial and ousting happened. Aziraphale got himself into a no-win situation, and upon discovering this, he’ll believe that, because he rejected Crowley, Crowley won’t come to save him this time, so to save Crowley, Azzie will go along with the plan. Crowley’s life will literally be in Aziraphale’s hands.

I’ve no idea how Crowley will find out about it (from Muriel maybe?), but Crowley’s POV will be the primary focus next season (since this season was Azzie’s) and we’re gonna see a vengeful demon and I’m here for it. Will there be a dramatic rescue or sacrifice? I think so. Not sure who the whump candle will go to, but my bet is on Crowley this time since we got Aziraphale in S1. Who knows. I’m all for “Aziraphale is hurt, so now Crowley goes feral”, but that’s a personal preference that I can get from fanfics, LOL.

Anyway, the long-short is that this job will be the wake-up call Azzie needs to finally see what Crowley saw, without the manipulation of words to confuse him. That Azzie can’t just “make things better” because he will never be allowed to make things better. As a Supreme Archangel, he will have the clearance and ability to find out everything Crowley did. Unfortunately, it will be too late... or will it? ...

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OTHER THINGS ON MY MIND (that I didn’t know where else to put)

Aziraphale NEVER FELL because they didn’t want it to look like an Institutional Problem. I even hazard a guess that NO angel has ever Fell since the Initial and Only Fall that sent Satan, Crowley and the other demons down. But Aziraphale doesn’t know that and I suspect that it’s this constant fear of Falling that keeps him complacent to Heaven. He’ll find out how they’ve really been dealing with problems when he’s in his new position.

And I think Azzie also never fell because Crowley made a point to never ever snitch. He knows they would eat him alive in Hell, so he protects Azzie from that as well.

I love that the Bentley clearly has a favourite and it isn’t Crowley!!! The car literally tries to follow Aziraphale. It’s so cute.

And on the subject of the Bentley... Crowley can feel everything going on with his car?? So like... is that a metaphor for Aziraphale being inside Crowley or.....? hee hee heeeeeee.

I loved that David got to use his natural accent in the Edinburgh scenes. IT’S SO PRECIOUS OMG.

And and and while Crowley was high off his rocker, he clearly says “Where are you??? 😢” and Aziraphale had to reassure him that he was there. So sweet.

Aziraphale and his inability to do literally anything humans do “the normal way” (mobile phone use, be a “newspaper man”, properly drive, learn French properly) while turning around and lowkey mocking Muriel is... something else. What a hypocritical dork.

The realization that they have a WHOLE-ASSED apology dance hit me like a tonne of bricks, and we KNOW it’s coming back in S3. There needs to be an entire cabaret from Azzie this time ‘round, LOL.

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FINAL THOUGHTS

I adored season two, more than season one for sure, and I loved that it built up upon the AziraCrow relationship. It was an interlude that lets us know that they’re sort of in a rut, stuck in a status quo that both are afraid of changing, and that they both need a catalyst event to happen to truly be together.

I remain more hopeful and certain for a satisfying conclusion to their arc than I ever have before. Which is saying a lot because privately, after Sherlock S4, I kind of was ready to not put my faith in another show to canonize a ship I love ever again.

But there’s a huge difference between this finale and Sherlock S4′s finale: GO S2 DOESN’T feel complete, and Neil wants to finish the story. I went into more detail about it on this post here, but essentially it boils down to S4 left me feeling hollow and empty because its 4th season felt so detached from what we already saw. It felt like the closing of a book with the wrong pages in it, with no confirmation in sight of concluding the series proper with the S5 they’ve been promising for years. GOS2, on the other hand, left us feeling like everything’s WRONG but in the right way, you know what I mean? Like there is a part two to this saga to be completed. And that Neil himself seems determined to finish the story regardless of what happens.

I like to think that both Michael and David know what Gaiman plans for the endgame of their characters, given that Gaiman HAS said he does “have the final fifteen pages of Episode 6 [...] written. Given what we got in S2 with The Kiss, and Michael and David’s adoration for this story and its characters, I am hopeful that Neil entrusted them with what he wants for AziraCrow. They in turn play those characters better for it.

So yeah, maybe I’m just putting clown shoes back on with this one, but I will remain... optimistically skeptical. Like, I REALLY want and believe that AziraCrow is endgame, that the Husbands will be actual husbands, but I also will remain skeptical that it can happen and not be upset if it doesn’t. I got a kiss (a terrible one, but a kiss nonetheless). I got a tonne of touching. I got them dancing together. I think that’s more than we ever could have hoped for, and it’s already leagues above what I am used to.

To conclude, here are some more questions, thoughts, and hopes for S3:

There are SO many “Chekov gun” moments in play in S2 currently, little things that really seem so pointless to have introduced (like the apology dance) and I am TRULY hoping that it’s true that Gaiman didn’t put things in this series unless it’s important later. I feel it will all come back around. Where S1 had open and closed plot points, S2 did NOT.

Why was Crowley able to get into Heaven without any issue? Is THIS part of the Ineffable Plan? Why does Crowley not want anyone to know who he was before the Fall? It’s clear Crowley POSSIBLY knows more than he lets on about Everything. I think he was at one time the Supreme Archangel... Gabriel’s banishment could foreshadow this, given that Gabe is deliberately used as a Crowley mirror in this season.

I hope for a stupidly emotional, makes-me-sob-fat-tears, reunion, confession and acceptance of each other. Oh, and of course, the infamous cottage in Sussex we all hope for. I am a SUCKER for emotional beats and I CRAVE it.

Oh, and a HUGE apology dance from Aziraphale. You introduced that shit, I want to see Azzie go all out in return.

I think Crowley will be the first one to confess verbally. The Gabriel mirror kind of sealed that for me.

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FINALLY, that’s that! Thank you for reading all the way through, if you did. Again, as I alluded to in my introduction, I may expand upon a few sections of this meta on other posts in the upcoming weeks as I catch more and more things, and start integrating other people’s meta into my own theories.

Apologies for any errors in this, it took me nearly 2 days to write and a very tired couple proofreads through it to clean up hanging text.

I hope you enjoyed my foray back into meta-writing, and please, do not hesitate to send me an ask to either of my blogs if you wish for me to expand more on a topic.

Cheers, and good day 💙🖤

#good omens #good omens s2 #spoilers #go spoilers #good omens meta #my meta #long post #go all seasons

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